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bloodfromthethorn · 3 years ago

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Broken Trust

Even now, hours later, he couldn’t shake the memory of Jack’s shoulder driving into his sternum, a too-tight grip on his bicep forcing him sideways as the man he trusted more than anyone else in the world physically moved through him rather than listen to what he had to say.

Tag to 2x02. Mac didn't walk away from his encounter with Jack as unscathed as he might wish to appear.

Also on AO3

Mac knew he was being stupid.

Yes, Jack threatening him with violence was no small matter and he was certainly justified in his surprise and betrayal, but he knew that he shouldn’t read any further into it. Jack had just been worried about Riley and hadn’t been thinking straight and in all likelihood, that was absolutely all it was. There was no deeper meaning, no hidden message. He shouldn’t be dwelling on it. He definitely shouldn’t be sitting on his deck at 3:30 in the morning contemplating all the times Jack had promised to have his back, to keep him safe, only to immediately turn on him when Mac put himself between his Overwatch and someone Jack cared about more.

It wasn’t like he didn’t get it: Jack had technically known Riley for far longer than he’d known Mac and he’d cared for her when she’d been a child – of course he was going to feel paternal. Mac had never been under any illusion that the relationship he had with Jack would outweigh that and he wouldn’t want it to, but he’d kind of thought that he still at least ranked somewhere near the top. Was that being presumptuous? A few days ago he wouldn’t have doubted it for a second, but now he couldn’t help but think maybe he’d been projecting his own feelings onto Jack and the reality of the situation was actually nothing like he’d thought it was.

But, then again, that was just a little overly dramatic, no? Jack had proven willing to go to the mat for Mac time and again, and this was the first time since their ill-fated meeting that the man had ever seemed willing to come to blows with him. They’d rib and tease each other, but he could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times there’d been true animosity between them. Mac’s quiet crisis of faith was surely nothing more than an overactive imagination and a history of being second choice to the people he loved.

And even if he wasn’t imagining anything, Jack had apologised for all of it – or at least he’d tried to. In the end, despite having waited to hear it, Mac had found that he just couldn’t stomach the thought of listening to Jack try to justify himself, to directly tell him that his loyalty to the woman who was basically his daughter was more important to him than his loyalty to Mac. Instead he’d shut down the apology before it could reach the light of day, brushing off Jack’s concern with a shrug and an easy smile. Better to let everyone think that it really was no big deal and was easily put behind them, no matter how far that might be from the truth. If Jack had had any notion of how badly Mac had been flying to pieces inside his own head, he hadn’t shown it.

So far as Mac could tell, everyone had mutually agreed that the whole thing had been a bizarre incident of heightened emotions with no deeper meaning and they could all quite happily sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened. If only things were so simple for him.

It shouldn’t matter, he knew that. Jack had been going out of his mind with worry and Mac knew better than anyone how much he could overreact if someone he cared about was in trouble but at the same time… He’d put Mac in trouble. Mac wasn't in any doubt that if Riley hadn’t chosen that particular moment to convince Bedlam to trust her, he would be nursing a black eye – or worse – by now.

Worse still was that Bozer had also been in the unfortunate position of having to get between Jack and Riley that very same day and he’d managed to walk away entirely clean. Mac was unendingly grateful for that of course and he’d never wish any harm on his friend, but he couldn’t deny that it stung to know Jack wouldn’t raise a hand against Boze when he’d been perfectly happy to against Mac barely an hour earlier.

He ran a shaking hand through his hair for the hundredth time, huffing out a heavy breath as he battled to get his thoughts under control. This was normally what Jack was good at, helping him to get out of his own head and see the truth of things so he could work through the problem, but even if it hadn’t been the early hours, Mac wasn’t about to disturb him with this. Either he was wrong and being paranoid and there really wasn’t anything to worry about, or he was right and asking about it would mean having to hear one of his worst fears realised.

He wasn’t really up to confronting either outcome tonight.

Instead he was stuck out here, unable to sleep but too tied up in knots to try doing anything productive. The best he could manage was sitting beside the unlit firepit with a beer he hadn’t touched once. Letting himself go and getting drunk was distantly tempting, but work tomorrow was going to be tough enough as it was without throwing a hangover into the mix. Besides, if he did that, then people were going to ask questions and there really was no unembarrassing way of saying ‘I’ve been having a bit of a breakdown because a man I considered a brother nearly punched me in the face and I’m having to rethink a decade-long relationship.’

Mac’s usual approach to emotional problems had always been resorting to logic – with mixed results. It was all well and good to explain his childhood dog’s perpetual escape attempts as animal instinct rather than personal dislike, but it became a lot more complicated when he tried to pinpoint the reason a man would abandon his only son and never look back. Unfortunately, this problem looked like it was going to fall into the latter category.

The facts were thus: Jack loved Riley like a daughter; Riley had been in imminent, but not certain, danger; Mac had put himself between the two; Jack had chosen to disregard what Mac was saying in favour of physically moving him aside so he could reach Riley.

There was no logic in the world that could explain that away without demeaning Mac’s relationship with Jack in a way that was deeply hurtful.

It wasn’t a competition and even thinking of it in those terms left Mac swallowing down guilt and disgust at his own neediness. Jack cared loudly and widely; he was in possession of a heart so large, Mac was quite certain he could love a hundred people equally without breaking a sweat. It was no great stretch or challenge to accept that Jack was capable of loving both Riley and Mac, and that those two things had absolutely nothing to do with each other. There was nothing unreasonable about that.

So it wasn’t a competition, but if it had been then Mac had very definitely lost.

God, he needed to get it together. He was self-aware enough to realise that the only real path forward here was to forgive Jack the minor transgression and move on, accepting it for what it had been without trying to place any excess baggage onto it. If he really couldn’t manage that alone, Jack would no doubt be willing to offer the apology he’d tried to give earlier, should Mac reveal his concerns. Nothing anyone said or did would take back what had happened, and wishing otherwise was childish. He just needed to put it behind him.

Then again, that evidently wasn’t going to happen tonight.

He’d ended up out on the deck sometime around midnight, waiting sleeplessly in his bed until Bozer was well and truly unconscious before sneaking out, driven by a vague desire for air and a need to see the stars. He was only one for two on that – a heavy blanket of cloud had managed to erase the few bright night sparks that usually managed to make it past the light pollution – but that wasn’t such a bad score. At the very least, the still quiet made a nice contrasting balm to his inner turmoil.

The quiet didn’t last however – the hour hand on Mac’s watch had just started creeping past 4 when he heard the purr of a familiar engine pulling up outside and he breathed a long sigh. He had no idea what had drawn Jack there – he’d often joked about having a sixth sense when Mac was in trouble, but he couldn’t possibly have known about this – and he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to find out. He toyed with the idea of slipping back into his bedroom before Jack had a chance to make it into the house, but he was sufficiently torn that he was still contemplating that course of action when he heard the door unlatch.

There were a few moments of quiet footsteps tracing through the house, first checking on the bedrooms and then, after presumably finding Mac’s empty, more hurried movement until the door to the deck squeaked open and Jack’s boots appeared in the corner of Mac’s vision. Exhausted and frankly too tired to even try to pretend otherwise, Mac didn’t look up.

“What are you doing here?” He asked quietly. His whole evening had felt fragile and a superstitious part of him he’d never been able to ditch warned that it was in danger of shattering if he didn’t speak softly.

“Couldn’t sleep,” was the equally gentle reply. “You?”

“It’s been a long few days.” The words sounded heavy, containing too much meaning. He took an unenthusiastic swig of beer to cover it. “There’s more in the fridge if you want one,” he added, shaking the bottle a little.

“Little early to start drinking, isn't it?”

“To be fair, it was late when I started.”

“…I think that might make it worse hoss.”

He snorted indelicately and took another pull. Now that he’d started drinking it, he found himself vaguely comforted by the familiar flavour. There wasn’t enough alcohol in it to do more than warm him, but the sensation wasn’t unwelcome.

Jack seemed to sigh, then his boots disappeared as he worked his way around behind Mac to sit beside him on the lip of the firepit. Now on the same level, Mac couldn’t avoid meeting his gaze. He looked as tired as Mac felt, so he said as much.

His Overwatch offered an unconvincing smile. “I’ll have you know that I look good no matter what,” he replied, but it was clear his heart wasn’t in it. “Truth be told, I feel like I’ve been kicked by a horse.”

That raised concern. “Are you getting ill? I think I’ve still got some of those antipyretics in the cupboard-”

He made a jerking motion to get to his feet, but Jack waved him back down before he could go anywhere. “Nah, it’s nothing man, don’t worry about it. It’s just like you said – been a long few days. Think I’m still working through it all.”

Mac felt his heart sink in his chest. Of all the conversations he didn’t want to have right that second. “I know how much you didn’t want Riley out there. I can’t imagine how stressful this has all been,” he said, aiming for compassionate and just barely hitting the mark. “I’m just glad it’s over.”

Jack, weirdly, looked sheepish. “You and me both kid, but that’s not exactly what I meant.”

There was a pause as Mac processed that and came up empty. “Oh?”

Despite the fact that whatever was going on in Jack’s head had been fierce enough to drive him all the way to Mac’s house in the middle of the night, he suddenly looked tremendously uncertain. One hand snaked up to rub at the back of his neck, dragging his head down so that he didn’t have to maintain eye contact. Mac half expected him to start shifting in his seat.

“Jack? What’s going on?”

He sighed gustily, apparently rooting around for his courage, and met Mac’s gaze again. “Look, I know you brushed it off before and I appreciate your understanding and all that but-” He hesitated ever so briefly, then the rest came pouring out of him like he couldn’t stop it. “Man, I was way out of line yesterday. Like so far past the line I couldn’t even see it any more. Yeah I was stressed about Riley and I ain’t ever going to be sorry for looking out for her, but that doesn’t change the fact that for a split second I was willing to go through you to do it. There’s nothing that could ever make that right and I need you to know how fucking sorry I am.”

He broke his gaze away again, bringing up his other hand to bury his face in his palms in pained desperation. Mac blinked at him in surprise, utterly stunned.

“And it’s stupid anyway because I know how much you care about Riley and me, and I know that you were trying to stop me to protect us both – I should have just seen-” He bit himself off, grumbled, pressed on more calmly: “I was so focused on my own inability to see what Riley could do that I lost sight of her, the mission, and you. It’s my job to keep you safe – that’s my only job – and I was so far out of my own head that I put you in danger because of my own stupidity. There is nothing about that that’s okay and even if you don’t need me to say it, I had to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m not expecting forgiveness because shit, I really messed it up this time, but for whatever it’s worth, I swear I’ll never do that again.”

Mac forced himself to swallow, desperately willing his exhausted brain to kick itself into gear and process everything Jack had just dumped on him. When he’d considered asking for an apology after all, this hadn’t been quite what he had in mind. In response to it, all he could manage was a sort of stunned silence.

Jack rubbed at his face one last time, then pulled himself upright again and forcefully met Mac’s eyes. He looked as though he was bracing for a hit, but he didn’t flinch. Mac, for his part, had absolutely no idea what he was possibly supposed to say.

A part of him desperately wanted to grasp the lifeline he was being offered, accept the explanation as the reassurance it was evidently meant to be, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. After a lifetime of those he cared about proving that Mac was a very easy person to leave, some self-preservation instinct was finally picking up its head and warning him not to trust so blindly. A few days ago he had been utterly certain that Jack would never willingly hurt him – now, he knew what it was to hear his Overwatch’s voice dip low and threatening, warning him that if he didn’t step aside, he was going to get hurt. He knew what it was to go cold at the humiliation he’d felt when faced with a thoroughly dismissive, ‘Boy, get out of my face.’ He knew what it was to have Jack look at him and see nothing but an obstacle in his way.

Hours too late and in the worst possible moment, Mac suddenly realised that the anger he’d been quietly cultivating wasn’t really anger at all.

As he always seemingly managed to do, Jack chose that same moment to pick up on the fact that something had gone wrong with his partner, because his earnestness immediately dropped away behind guilty concern. He hesitated for several heartbeats, absorbing whatever was going on in Mac’s expression, then tilted his head consideringly. “When you stopped me apologising earlier,” he said very slowly, “You didn’t mean it when you said it was fine, did you?”

Mac forced himself to shrug, trying to shake looseness into limbs that had frozen in place. “Like I said, Riley’s lucky to have you. You were just watching out for her.”

“Yeah, and throwing you under the bus in the process. God, I almost- I could have hurt you Mac.”

Now was probably a very bad time to reveal that he had hurt him. At least the bruises were in places easy to hide.

“You didn’t,” he lied instead, running his eyes over the skyline rather than let Jack see the mistruth in them. “I appreciate the apology, I really do, but I understand. Riley’s family, Jack, of course you’re going to do everything you can to defend her.”

Jack let out a humourless snort. “You say that like you’re not every bit as much my family as she is.”

There was a sudden, telling silence. Jack blinked. Mac’s gaze stayed fixed on the horizon.

“You- You do know that… right?” Jack said haltingly, his voice so quiet as to be almost unheard even in the silence. When there was no immediate response, it turned more forceful. “Mac, tell me you know that.”

He swallowed hard. In the face of such honest concern, Mac couldn’t bring himself to lie or to brush it off, but at the same time he had no idea how to explain the tangle of thorns in his head without sounding as stupid as he was afraid he was being.

“Jack,” he started carefully, weighing up the words as he went, “We’ve been partners for years now. I know how important that is and I’m grateful for it every day, but… But you knew Riley when she was just a kid.” He twitched his hands in a vague attempt at encompassing the sheer scale of their relationship. “I get that things have been kind of weird between the two of you, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s basically your daughter. I should never have tried to get in the middle of that.”

“If you hadn’t gotten in the middle of it, I would have gotten her killed,” Jack shot back immediately. “You did everything right Mac. I’m the one who fucked up here.”

There wasn’t a lot Mac could really say to that since it was technically accurate, but he was spared the effort by Jack refusing to take the bait of his deflection.

“And besides,” he continued firmly, “That’s not even slightly the point here. You- You really don’t think that I see you as family?”

Goddamn it he sounded hurt and that was so not what Mac had been going for. He sucked in a breath and cursed himself when it shook. “That’s not- That wasn’t what I was trying to say,” he managed lamely, wanting to reassure but deeply unwilling to make any presumptions. That was precisely what had gotten him into this mess.

Jack’s eyes were dark and sad and knowing. Mac could scarcely stand to look at them. “Maybe not, but it’s what you’re thinking, right? You’ve got it in your head that everything that happened was because Riley’s more important to me than you?”

Hearing the words said aloud in such a level, careful tone sent a rush of blazing shame right through him. It sounded so pathetic when put so simply. This time the anger that burned hot on its heels was genuine, though aimed more at himself than anyone else. He shook his head sharply as though to rid himself of the feeling but he still couldn’t quite meet Jack’s eyes when he said, “No. I know it doesn’t work like that. I’m not some kid in need of coddling Jack. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“You’re tired because you’re sitting on your deck at four in the morning instead of sleeping, and I’ve known you long enough to know that happens when you can’t get something out of your head. So, if I’m wrong, what is it? Because it has been a shitty few days but somehow I get the feeling this isn’t about a missing EMP or you having to figure us a way out of a crashing plane with no chutes.” His expression was complicated; some combination of worried and open, like he was pleading with Mac to just speak with him. “C’mon Mac. Talk to me. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Mac shook his head slowly, too many thoughts crowding in at once to make sense of anything. “Jack-”

“Don’t tell me it’s nothing. Mac-” Jack bit off whatever he was about to say in frustration, shaking himself. “God I really fucked up. Should’ve known you’d come to the worst possible conclusion. Never did know your own worth.” He ran a tired hand over his face, then drew himself upright and faced Mac head on, a rare seriousness shining in his eyes. “Okay, this is something I clearly should be saying more often since you still don’t seem to believe it but, you’re my brother Mac. You’re every bit as much my family as Ri is and I know that I made you doubt that, but it never for one second stopped being true. You hear me? I’m so sorry for what I did outside that warehouse – you didn’t deserve it one bit and I should never have done it. But it didn’t mean what you’re thinking it did.”

“I’m not thinking anything Jack,” he said quietly, even while his brain raced away from him. He wanted so, so badly to believe what he was hearing and Jack had sworn long ago to always be honest with him. To Mac’s knowledge he’d never once broken that promise…

But it was also exactly what Mac wanted to hear. Of course he was going to be inclined to believe it.

“That’s never once been true and you know it,” Jack shot back, not losing an ounce of his seriousness.

Mac didn’t rise to the implied joke. A sudden swell of frustration at Jack’s presumption climbed his throat and he was scoffing before he could help himself. “Tell me then,” he said sharply. “What exactly is it I’m thinking?”

Jack flinched lightly at the acid in his tone, but he held Mac’s gaze steadily like he was prepared to take any blow he threw his way. “I’ve never tried to pretend I can follow everything that goes through your head hoss. I don’t have near the IQ for that. But I think even you’d agree that I’ve gotten pretty good at following you.”

Mac’s face tried to twitch into a scowl but he forced it down with a will of iron.

His partner continued without interruption. “Now maybe I’m overstepping here, but I’m gonna bet that right now you’re feeling angry and hurt because you trusted me and I let you down. I let you down real bad.” There, he did hesitate very slightly, before deciding to voice what they both already knew. “I know I’m not the first person to do that, not by a long shot. You’ve had to deal with all kinds of shit you never deserved, but betrayal isn’t something anyone gets used to.”

Burgeoning anger aside, that felt like a step too far. Mac shook his head sharply. “You didn’t betray anyone-”

“Yes, I did,” he cut in firmly. “I betrayed your trust. I promised to protect you, but I got so caught up in my own bullshit hang-ups that I broke that promise. You’ve got every reason to be pissed as all hell about that Mac, don’t let anyone tell you you don’t.”

“You were just trying to help Riley,” Mac said again, sounding weak to his own ears. Everything Jack was saying was everything he’d thought he’d needed to hear, but now that it was all laid out so plainly before him, the only sensation he could summon was bittersweet resignation. Jack wasn’t wrong - he felt betrayed.

“Yeah, maybe. That’s not an excuse.”

There was a long, still pause. “No,” he finally admitted quietly. “It isn’t.”

The corners of Jack’s eyes were damp when he nodded, accepting and agreeing with that in equal measure. He looked crushed. “And you deserve every apology I can give you for that. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to take a swing at me.”

Mac shot him a dark look, irritated by the joke, but he found only seriousness in Jack’s face; he’d meant it. “I’m not going to hit you,” he said, offended at the implication.

“I know you won’t,” Jack soothed carefully. “I’m just trying to say - very badly - that I do know how badly I’ve fucked this up. I broke a promise to you that I swore my life on and you know I don’t take that sort of thing lightly. I can’t ever explain how sorry I am for it, but I can spend every moment you let me trying to make up for it.”

They let that sit between them for a long few minutes. Mac felt torn; even with the anger and hurt and fucking devastation rocking around in his chest he could admit that Jack was saying everything right. The real question then was whether or not Mac could trust it when Jack had already blindsided him once.

His Overwatch’s smile was bleak and pained. “I can see that brain of yours whirring away,” he said at length. “Trying to work out if I’m telling the truth, huh?”

As he said it, his façade crumbled ever so slightly and for just a moment, he looked deeply, unbearably sad. Like he knew he’d earned every inch of that mistrust and was regretting it with every fibre of his being. In all their time together, Mac had seen Jack wear that expression exactly once: a thousand years ago in an Italian hospital room as he told a barely conscious Mac that Nikki hadn’t made it. The context might have been different, but those eyes- their grief was the same.

That- that Mac could believe. No one who looked like Jack did in that moment could be insincere. Jack was a hell of a good liar when he needed to be – requirement of the job, really – but the raw, honest heartbreak in that expression was not something even he could fake. For the first time since Jack walked towards him with violence in his eyes, Mac found that he could trust this, if nothing else.

No matter what had happened between them, how readily Jack had been willing to throw away every promise he’d ever made to Mac, he could see the evidence of his regret right in front of him. It didn’t undo what he’d done, not by a long shot, but it was… something.

Something important.

Maybe something so important it was really the only thing that actually mattered.

There was no amount of words that could entirely mend the hurt that Jack had wrought that day, but perhaps they were enough to start the process. Jack was right here, swearing to do better, and despite a lifetime of reasons not to trust an offer like that, Mac couldn’t help but hear the ring of truth. For now, perhaps that had to be enough. Healing always came with time and with Jack willing to make amends, Mac had a feeling that they’d get there together in the end.

He sucked in a hard breath, and finally, finally forced himself to let his anger and hurt go. They would do nothing for him now.

“I believe you,” he said, and meant it. He caught Jack’s eye. “And I accept your apology. My own messed up head aside, I do know that you were only trying to protect Riley.”

“Hey now, your head’s doing just fine. I’m the one tying it up in knots, even when I should know better. You’ve been given plenty of reason to think the worst of people in your life Mac. That it’s not your first response is- well. Incredible, I guess. I don’t blame you a bit for not trusting me after… Everything.”

Mac’s eyes dropped to the floor again, feeling oddly self-conscious about how easily Jack was able to see through him. It was always easy to forget how little time they had really known each other when Jack could look at him and immediately see the heart of whatever was bothering him. Bozer might have known him for longer, but Jack had still been the one who got to see the darker sides of him born in desert heat and sandy plains. That was exactly why this whole mess had hurt as much as it had.

“I always trust you Jack,” he said honestly. “You caught me off guard, but nothing is about to change that.”

Jack blinked hard, swallowing as he processed that. “After everything that happened this week, I know that I don’t deserve that but you don’t know how good that is to hear, man.” He rubbed at his face, pulling his emotions back in line. “And just so you know, while I appreciate you accepting my apology and all, I know I’m nowhere near done earning your forgiveness. What I did was-”

His eyes suddenly turned distant, and whatever strength had bled back into his frame drained in a rush. He looked… fragile.

“Jack, you don’t need to earn anything,” Mac said, suddenly feeling vaguely guilty for taking it all so badly while at the same time desperately trying to throttle that sensation. He wanted to forgive Jack – already had, if he was honest with himself – but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been right to be upset in the first place. “I’m glad you apologised, no matter what I told you before. That’s all I needed.” He shrugged self-deprecatingly. “Well, that and for you to talk some sense into me, maybe.”

“That’s my job, remember?” Jack said with a shrug of his own. “Keeping your head on straight is half the battle.” He winced in the same instant as he said it, apparently realising the irony in him being the one to throw Mac off this time. He visibly forced himself to straighten out, trying to accept the truth of Mac’s forgiveness. “Well, lesson learned, I guess. Just wish I didn’t do it by hurting you.”

Mac snorted softly, even though his heart wasn’t really it in. “I’m tougher than I look.”

“That is one hundred percent true,” Jack agreed without hesitation, “But it doesn’t change the fact that I was a dick and you caught the worst of it. Which would be bad enough at the best of times, but in this case you were only doing what you could to protect me and Riley, which is like, I don’t know, a double dick move on my part?” He broke off momentarily with a frown as if trying to work out the maths of that specific scenario, then shook himself like a dog shaking off water. “Whatever, the point is-” A pause. “What was my point again?”

Despite himself, Mac snickered. “I think it was something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry I was an ass, I won’t do it again’. That about sum it up?”

Jack grinned in that knowing way he did when he’d succeeded in pulling Mac out of his own head without him realising. “Couldn’t have put it better myself.” He sobered, catching Mac’s gaze. “And I mean it. I’m not ever going to take a swing at you man, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you never have to feel like I might again.”

Mac’s first instinct was to brush the reassurance off once more, remind Jack that he already had his trust, but he caught himself before he could. He was determined not to punish himself for reacting badly to something he had every reason to react badly to, and besides, it seemed like Jack needed to say it just as much as Mac needed to hear it. After everything that had happened that day, it felt good to hear that promise put into words. “Thank you,” he said at length, letting truth settle into his tone.

He went to say more, but the words were lost as a jaw-cracking yawn forced its way up his throat. Jack chuckled quietly at him.

“Yeah, I feel that,” he said, dispensing with his heavy tone for something lighter, something healing. “Think it might be past time we got you to bed, man. You look knackered.”

“I am,” he admitted. There was very little point pretending otherwise; he knew what he looked like. “You’ve got to be exhausted too.”

Jack shrugged easily. “Yeah, but I’ll get out of your hair. I knew you weren’t exactly expecting visitors when I decided to turn up unannounced at four in the morning.”

“That’s literally never stopped you,” he said, rolling his eyes. Truthfully, he was glad Jack had shown up when he did - it was only thanks to it that he thought he might actually be able to get some honest to god sleep before he had to show up at work tomorrow- or, well, later today. “You’re not driving home this late. Just sleep here.”

“I didn’t exactly bring a go-bag with me.”

“Unless you’ve changed dramatically in size in the last two months, I’m pretty sure the clothes you left in my dresser are still going to fit you.”

Jack looked like he was bending, wanting to give in to the comfort readily being offered, but something dark and wary in his eyes was holding him back. That line of guilt that ran rigid along the back of his shoulders had eased slightly during the course of their conversation, but it still lingered on even now. Mac had a sneaking suspicion he wasn’t going to lose it for a long time.

“I don’t want to impose,” he said after a strained moment of silence. His gaze dropped to his lap. “I think I’ve disturbed your sleep enough tonight to last a lifetime, bud.”

“In case it wasn’t abundantly obvious, you weren’t disturbing anything.”

“Just ‘cause I wasn’t here, doesn’t mean it wasn’t my fault.”

Mac couldn’t help but roll his eyes again. “C’mon man, it’s done. We’re all good, remember? But if you keep arguing about driving home at four AM when you look like you’re going to fall asleep at the wheel, then you are going to keep me up when I would much rather be sleeping. Matty’s already going to be mad as it is; we don’t need to pile sleep deprivation on top.”

His Overwatched hissed, pulling on a peeved frown. “You’re too sneaky for your own good, you know that?”

Mac released what felt like his first genuine laugh in days and drained the rest of his beer, easing himself carefully to his feet. “Someone might have mentioned it in the past. Come on, big guy. I’m not carrying you inside if you pass out here.”

“You could just wake me up.”

“And give up the opportunity to listen to you griping about that bad back you pretend you don’t have? Ooh, that’s a tough call.”

“You’re an ass.”

Mac’s laugh chased them into the darkened house.

#macgyver #macgyver fanfiction #fanfic #my fanfic #fanfiction #angus macgyver #jack dalton #s02e02 muscle car + paperclip #muscle car + paperclip

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mcheang · 5 years ago

Text

To live without a heart

Warning: this has Adrien salt in it.

Upset by all the emotions that have caused havoc in her life, Marinette decides to use a spell that Master Fu translated that will seal away any romantic feelings she has.

Once that is done, she no longer feels heartache over Adrien.

She no longer feels jealous about Kagami, Chloe and Lila.

She can actually hold a conversation with Adrien.

Marinette has become far more logical. She still has emotions but they are more muted. She no longer gets excited.

The new Marinette doesn’t get bothered about Lila’s lies anymore and only calmly points out the flaws in them. When her friends don’t believe her, Marinette just shrugs it off.

When Chloe bullies Marinette, she just doesn’t care and is only annoyed. She gives Chloe a look, like are you done yet?

When Alya gets excited about Ladybug theories, Marientte calmly disagrees, pointing out the Ladyblog would be endangering Ladybug.

Even her banters with Chat have lessened.

Luka notices something is wrong immediately. Marinette’s melody has grown muted.

And it’s true. Marinette no longer has creative inspiration. She relies on old sketches that still become instant hits. But these will run out sooner or later.

To break the spell, just give her true love’s kiss.

Chat eventually figured out Marinette’s secret identity but she isn’t bothered by it.

Chat demands to know what she did and Marinette explains the spell but not the cure.

Chat is baffled and asked why she did that.

Marinette admits she is tired of making mistakes because of her crush. It became too painful to pine after him, it became painful with how low she had sunk because of her jealousy, and it became painful when his betrayals hurt more than her other friends.

Chat asks who.

Unashamed, Marinette admits she liked Adrien Agreste. Only now without her emotions blinding her, she wondered what she had ever saw in him because now she only thought of him as insensitive, unreliable, and naive.

Chat is baffled and then hurt. He points out that Ladybug is losing her touch, that her creativity is running dry. Is giving up her crush worth losing what she loves doing?

Ladybug pauses at that.

Then Chat continues, asking what Adrien had done to hurt her so much.

1. let’s see, he was the only one unaware of her crush on him because everyone knew about it. (Chat is humiliated at his ignorance) and thus did not find it awkward to ask her to plan a date with him and Kagami.

2. He actually had the gall to model with Lila after the latter got her expelled. He had to be asked to defend her at school. And for weeks, he has let his class be manipulated by that liar. Let’s just say Adrien is never reliable when it comes to bullies. He likes to sweep the hurt under the rug and ignore it, hoping it would go away.

At that point, Chat asks Marinette to stop because he doesn’t think he can stand anymore of her criticism.

He reminds her to think of her job as Ladybug. If she dislikes Adrien ignoring the problem, isn’t she doing the same thing? Trying to bury her feelings instead of moving on.

Ladybug sees his point but admits she feels scared because of how alone she had felt before at school. She always tries to please people: her crush, her teacher, her friends. She’s tired of taking the blame and guilt when she believes she is in the right to say no, or for her actions. She wants Chloe to be punished for her vandalism without being told to forgive her, she wants to expose Lila without being told to save the Liar’s face, and she wants to sit in her seat without being blamed for being inconsiderate by her hypocritical classmates.

Ladybug reveals the cure and wonders how to get it. She could ask either Adrien or Luka or Chat.

Chat gently kisses her and breaks the spell because he still loved her.

Marinette starts weeping as her emotions return. She finally recalls what she loved about Adrien. She fell in love with the kind, gentle, and thoughtful boy.

Chat listens eagerly, partly to heal his damaged self-esteem.

1. Adrien likes giving horrible people second chances. Chloe, Lila, even her when she wrongly accused him.

2. Adrien isn’t really the kind of person to get angry. He could have hated her for rashly judging him, and instead he tried again to make a Friend.

3. He loaned her his umbrella (though to be fair he had a ride home and didn’t know she lived nearby)

Along with the feeling of love, Marinette now recalls what it means to be broken-hearted, and weeps in Chat’s arms.

When she cools down, Marinette thanks Chat for helping her to see sense. Chat asks what she is going to do regarding Adrien.

Marinette sighs. “What I should have done in the first place. I need to confess and get it out of my system.”

One good thing came out of this though, Marinette finally admits Adrien has flaws and proclaims his high road is stupid. She will gather evidence and prove Lila’s a liar.

Chat encourages Marinette to ask Adrien for help. She is very, very skeptical. The boy hates conflict.

Chat coaxes Marinette to give Adrien a chance to prove once and for all whose side he is on.

The next day at school, Marinette confesses to Adrien before declaring she is going on a boy hiatus. She wants to clear her heart and just be free of that burden.

Adrien understands but admits that Chat confronted him yesterday. Adrien reveals he forced Lila to get Marinette back to school. He asked Marinette to let him support her in exposing Lila. But Marinette is doubtful, because she doesn’t him to help only because a hero pressured him to.

Adrien protests that Chat didn’t do anything to persuade him. He already knew Lila had to be stopped once she framed Marinette. He only apologizes that he never took the initiative. Adrien pleads that Marinette let him redeem himself.

Marinette has to take a deep breath and remind herself of her hiatus. She agrees.

Together, Marinette and Adrien talk to the class when Lila is absent at another video game contest (she had gloated about her high scores to Max but naturally was lying). Marinette calls Jagged as Adrien explains Ladybug herself called Lila out. When the class is skeptical and wonder if Marinette put Adrien up to this, he vehemently defends her until Jagged is out on loudspeaker.

Lila becomes a social pariah.

From that point on, Adrien was respectful to give Marinette her space. He gently let down Chloe and Kagami. He refused to do any more joint shoots with Lila. Adrien usually supports Marinette in whatever. He may not be pursuing Ladybug right now, but that doesn’t mean he has stopped loving her, nor does it mean he won’t stop trying to be worthy of her.

Marinette is happy to let go of her crush and just focus on her own happiness. In time, she will be open her heart again to the possibility of romance, but not just yet, and maybe it will be someone new.

#miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #ml fic #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #lila gets exposed #lila is exposed #lila salt #adrien salt #ml salt fic #post miracle queen

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immortalled · 4 years ago

Text

Live reactions to S3E5 of Misfits below because... I dunno, slapping it all under a cut is probably less annoying lol. :’>

- Is it bad that the opening scene made me think of Jamie? Jamie and Seth look like that could’ve been buds. Like a biker gang or something.

- I find it really interesting that Kelly, even with a guy like Seth, is still putting up walls and giving him the aloof act. I appreciate the consistency (rare in Misfits lol) but aw man, it is kinda sad, isn’t it? I get it, though. Poor thing. I think Seth/Kelly is a little left field but I do hope she has a happy ending with this one. Kelly deserves happiness and so does Seth.

- I keep telling myself not to compare Rudy and Nathan but omg... the little awkward lean against the support beam... Nathan does that when Simon catches him and Alisha spying on him. And then the two condom thing... I know I’m being ridiculous here and they aren’t the same character at all, but I’m gonna have to make a parallels gif set. I just know it. I can feel it. It has to happen. It was awkward at first because I missed Nathan, but the more I see of Rudy, the more I like him. He’s grown on me.

- I feel like production value went way up during this season.

- EXCUSE ME??? WHO??? TELLS THEIR GIRLFRIEND, WHO IS IN A COMA, THAT YOU’RE LEAVING THEM? YO, DUDE, I KNOW IT’S HARD TO SEE HER LIKE THAT BUT C’MON. You!! Don’t know!!!!!!! That she can’t hear you!!!!!! Maybe she can!! YOU CAN’T! oml

- I like how Kelly’s first response to seeing a patient in trouble is to calmly and slowly walk into the room to ask them if they’re okay (when they clearly can’t speak because even if they weren’t in a coma, they do have a tube down their throat) instead of immediately finding a nurse or pressing the alert button.

- Wait this hurts.

- LOL I... really love how Simon just deals with Rudy’s weird stories. That’s cute.

- O h? Is that grafitti some Bad Wolf-esque foreshadowing? 👀

- Wow. Lauren Socha is such a good actress??? What the heck. I’m gonna have to watch her in something else. I need to know if she has range.

- ...This isn’t mean, I love Kelly’s shape, but there’s no way Kelly can fit in Jen’s clothes.

- Not a fan of this weird tension that happens occasionally between Curtis and Simon. I think it’s IC for Simon to be a little jealous, I like that he still has his insecurities, but it’s a little annoying when it’s directed toward Curtis. I dunno. I guess it’s fair given that he’s the ex, but I don’t like it.

- Kelly looks great in a leather jacket.

- OOOH gosh. Sometimes, man... sometimes Simon gives this look and does this thing with his body language that’s just SO scary.

- ...As much as I dislike Curtis’ power, I think Alisha’s has to be my least favorite of the new powers. I wish Simon would use his foresight more, too.

- Something about Simon watching Freaky Friday is really funny to me.

- How many times are these idiots gonna have to sneak out bodies. They’re professionals at this point.

- Bahahaha Shaun is so nonchalant. Random coma patient in the communtiy centre? Just another day. I love him.

- WAIT NO SHAUN NO WAIT NO!!!

- NO?????????????????????????????????? NO?? NO!

- I’m not gonna think about the legal issues with what’s-his-face pulling the plug instead of a nurse. Or like... how they’re gonna explain that Jen’s body is there at the community centre. Or how the gang is gonna get away with security footage of them stealing a body from the hospital (which there would have to be, there’s no way they didn’t get caught on camera). I can’t go full clown. This is Misfits. 🤡

- Also I totally thought they were going to grab an animal or something off the street and then give it to the boyfriend or parents or something to take care of so Jen could live on at least for a while longer as something else than die. I don’t know why I thought that. It just felt like it’d be on brand. Don’t @ me LOL. (I’m glad I was wrong; I think it’s a much nobler end for Jen to own up to what she did and have her goodbye.)

- That is totally some Bad Wolf-esque forshadowing. And clearly slapped on in post!

Final thoughts:

Not a bad episode. I liked it well enough. It was entertaining and this one got a few laughs (for some reason Seth saying “Hi” and Rudy going feral at him got me). I don’t have too much to say about it, really, it’s a pretty standard episode. So far I think Peter’s episode is still my favorite just for the more superhero-y hijinks, but this ep had some really nice protective Simon moments and I really enjoyed Seth. The music was pretty good, but the Misfits soundtrack is always killer.

I hate that my only big note is a complaint, but... I’m finding it really hard to connect with the characters this season, even the OGs. I get bursts of it, primarily with Simon and Rudy, but overall something just feels wrong. No one except maybe Curtis feels OOC and yet? Something about the characters is off. It feels like I’m looking at an alternate universe where everything is the same except for some itty bitty detail and I can’t place what it is. And before anyone says it, no it’s not because Nathan isn’t there lol. He was the heart of the series for me, but I don’t think his absence is what feels wrong. It’s definitely something about the writing or within the remaining characters themselves.

I? Almost want to say that it’s an issue of the gang not feeling like a family anymore? They don’t feel as close. I know Misfits has always primarily been about hijinks and outrageous plots, but I almost wanna say that S1 and S2 had more focus on character relationships than S3 so far? We get a little more into the nitty gritty of Alisha’s relationships with Simon, Rudy, and Curtis (even though her “problem” with Curtis in E2 made no sense) but besides that... it just doesn’t feel like we’re getting the meat that we did in S1 and 2. Granted, that is two seasons versus one.

Oh yeah. And RIP Shaun. I knew he was gonna die but I didn’t expect it so soon. That sucks. I think that his death would have been sadder if the show hadn’t exposed his grosser aspects, like how he creeps on girls and... he’s just kind of a skeevy perv. Which, I know most of the male characters in this show are perverts to some degree, but it works better for everyone else because they have some redeeming qualities that make them more endearing and their faults more palatable. Shaun doesn’t quite have the endearment factor to pad out how uncomfortable he was in E2 and E4 (making him into a villain for E4 was a bad move too). I think if he had shown just a hint of really caring about the gang, even privately, then maybe I’d be sadder. Oh well. He’s still the best probation worker. I’ll miss him.

Anyway, anyway. Enough complaining. One last good thing: Rudy continues to grow on me. I am so intrigued by how he handles his split (how his splits handle each other?). I feel like I need to come up with a better term. But that’ll do for now. I really, really hope that Overman doesn’t just sweep all those issues under the rug. It seems like he did that with Rudy and Alisha’s relationship (which is a bummer!) and I think it’d be so cool for Rudy to either find peace with that inner conflict or at least be able to better cope with Rudy One and Rudy Too so they’re not always squabbling. Love Rudy, though. Him and Nathan would’ve butted heads to be the funny one, I think, but good friends after a while. Oh, the terror those two could have caused...

#out of immortality [ooc];#spark watches misfits [liveblogging];

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 4 years ago

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Was reading your response to the Okumura Ryuji/Morgana fight, and the way the person worded Ryuji's character made me wanna ask... Do you think a bad fanbase is a fair reason to dislike a character? I've heard people say things like "no look at the character too", but... For example, I'm very neutral on Ryuji. When he's good, hes SO GOOD, EXCELLENT BOY, but Ann is my favorite girl. Guess who he pervs on exclusively and is rude to all the time? I've never seen his fans talk about (1/2 sorry)

His rude behavior, or his pervy tendencies, or his more selfish desires regarding the PT. That's fine!! Not everyone wants to constantly talk about bad things their fave has done!!! But people referring to him as a "woman respecting king" so insistently rubs me the wrong way, since he treats Ann Like That. That, and (more personal) i remember making a post/ask thing once about my grievances with Ryuji, esp his perv stuff, and the fans that interacted very aggressively denied his behavior (2/3)

And it even turned into a big discourse on the blog I submitted it to (it was that one confession blog). All the people that responded and just tried moving the arguments to "well Yusuke did this-" or even tried to push blame on Ann "she was asking for it" just kinda cemented my already growing dislike for Ryuji. Super sorry this is so long!!! Final question: is a bad fanbase a fair reason for disliking a character? (3/3)

Don’t say sorry about multiple sent asks, I don’t mind kfdsjla;fja As for the answer, I want to say yes and no, but really it’s just “yes with a side note attached.” Yeah, it’s ok to not like a char because of their fans, but I think it’s as long as you know why you dislike the char beyond the fans (well tbh, imo it’s usually the crazy fans so I think stans is a better word, but even then there’s diff stans). And tbh, I....can’t....think of a character I don’t like that the fandom/fanbase does....but I know nothing about the char all the while (closest and most recent example this....is....I know people dislike that grey haired moe blob on twitter even tho I don’t think they watched the show, and while I’m not a fan of the moeblobness I don’t know anything about the char so I’m personally not upset). I can only name chars I don’t like because of what happens in the text, fandom be damned (but sometimes they don’t help). Which is why it’s a yes with a side note. If you don’t like the char despite not knowing them.....probably get to know the char first even if your impression is clouded by the fandom....at least you gave the char a chance.

Under cut cause length (first few sentences in the first paragraph under the cut/tldr at the end gives you the answer a bit more in depth, the rest is rants related to that and why I get frustrated in a similar sense too, but yeah sorry if I repeat myself, I kinda jumped all over + my tendency to try to nail a point home I feel like might’ve had me repeat a bit more than usual akslfjdakfjaf):

I say this because.....it’s hard....it’s hard to keep them separated, unless you completely isolate yourself from the fandom (which is basically impossible if you wanna keep up with news, even the comment section is part of the fandom tbh...and you might be looking down their for diff reasons). And then.....well...the big reason....sometimes seeing the fans really highlights the reasons you dislike the char. That’s what happened to me and Makoto, specifically cause of....a certain fan (and buddy if you happen to see this, nothing against you, no bad blood, def won’t mention your name I respect you and the debates we had)....AND TO THE TUMBLR READERS WHO GET NERVOUS: It wasn’t on this website in case anyone is freaking out so if you’re thinking “Oh god it’s me” it is most likely not you (tho I think we do know each other on here cause of usernames/saw each other in passing but we def aren’t mutuals last time I checked), and while I do respect that person.......my god did they highlight the reasons I had issues with P5 and Makoto. Ironically in trying to defend her and show off her good sides, I realized the writing issues more and more and her bad sides became more glaring. It turned my frustrating dislike and attempt to try to work out my issues with her and P5 (ironically “working out” in hindsight would’ve been me....denying and refusing to look at P5′s flaws) into....well......the salt factory you know today. (same thing happens with like......Yukari and Junpei fans too tbh...that’s more recent tho, it feels like they are just downplaying their negatives constantly and I’m not about that). Basically, you probably have issues already, they are just more pronounced now.

As for “look at the character”....you kinda already are doing that, and that’s probably where your existing issues originated from (tho if someone wants a more in depth reason as to why, while you DON’T OWE them an explanation, it is also hard for someone to understand your feelings and reasons if you don’t try to explain).

As for Ryu, yea, I getcha, I like the guy, I’m neutral positive on him....was my best bro but he’s 2nd best thanks to post-Kamo writing. I like him because of his positives, but I always keep his negs in mind because. Cause like while I agree with the fans IT MAKES NO SENSE! P5′S WRITING IS BAD! it happened, same as I agree that Anne kicking Ryu’s ass, along with the other girls, is shitty. Hate the scene, and I accept that it happen (low key gonna start some kinda 2nd wave war with this bs cause the fandom be like that, but I’m really surprised no one took Anne smacking Ryu behind the neck cause he was being too loud as super offensive and abuse.......it’s def something a friend might do, not like belting him just a tap, and it’s framed as chill and also as warning him to reign in the volume control, but high key surprised no one has tried to cancel her cause of that). BUT that DOESN’T mean it erases all the creepy stuff he’s done. Is he the goodest boi when he’s being good? The best. Is he always a good boi? No, he def is not. And hearing that he is can be frustrating to people that do see his flaws (cause they are there). And like....you are 100% able to like a character despite and because of their flaws, while also accepting they have those flaws. I do it with Yosuke, Ryuji (for the most part), Teddie, Shinji, Ken, Kanji (when he’s not around Naoto, then he’s in a trash can for me), P1/2 casts, Aigis, Mitsuru, as long as the flaws are within reason and are treated pretty well....then I’m ok with it. (again, Kanji/Ryu have moments when I’m like....NOPE! but when they aren’t doing the bad thing I’m cool with them). As long as the flaws are withing reason (aka they aren’t making a jerk person out to be the person in the right, or the writing is trying to sweep what they did under the rug, or trying to force us into empathizing with them despite what they did while also trying ot sacrifice empathy towards another char.....*cough*Makoto/Yukari/Junpei*cough* if the writing isn’t doing that...... I’m probs neutral to pos on them).

Like I’m fine if they are criticizing the writing and being like “Him doing this makes no sense cause it conflicts with the good boi we’ve already seen!” That’s a-ok! Not only do you recognize your char has flaws, you also are able to identify issues with the writing. But saying “so I’ll choose to ignore that scene” isn’t....ok. Because sadly it did happen, as contradictory it did happen. AU it all you want, but you have to accept it happened outside of that AU. Like, I don’t like the Mika conflict in Anne’s CoOp, by which I don’t like how it went down (100% fine with Mika, and there being conflict with her). How it the whole thing started doesn’t make sense if you put MainStory!Anne in her CoOp. MS!Anne can read the room and other people’s emotions (only other person capable of that is Haru, or at least with Mona), hell she was so good at it she noticed something was up with Shiho without Shiho telling her about it! The issue was the fact Anne’s not a mind reader and could only assume the issue Shiho was going through that Anne was aware of (and that was her spot on the team). Now MS!Anne is not like Yosuke, she doesn’t put her foot in her mouth. She’s not like Naoto who can’t read the room. She’s not super eloquent, but can empathize and when she can interact with people she can do it pretty well. So why the hell does she basically not think before talking and insult Mika? Sure Anne’s not GREAT at school, but she’s not a moron, she can talk to people. But her CoOp makes her a moron all around, 100% airhead, and that’s how her issues with Mika start, by not thinking before talking and accidentally insulting her via blatantly “not caring” about the job to a full time person......it’s stupid, it makes no sense, I hate it. But it’s there, the flaw might not be present in the main story, but for the all around character (cause CoOps are included) it is now and I just have to deal with it. We can bitch about it all day (and trust me I will) but it happened. Basically never frame it as “it didn’t happen,” but instead “It SHOULDN’T HAVE happened.” One is denial, the other is critiquing the text.

Anyway my rant aside, yeah I hate it when...well Ren/Ryu/Yusuke (no one’s said Mona yet, cause....well yeah...which is good they haven’t labeled him as it yet tho), are labeled as “drinking respect women juice” and I’m like “I have one to a few women who would disagree.” I know some people will argue Goro is drinking it, and imo he’s not....he’s just eating the “I don’t discriminate sandwich” which is different. And yeah the “But Yusuke-” yeah yeah we’ll get to him, but right now we’re talking about RYUJI. I’m not a fan of derailing a topic *war flashbacks* *shivers* anyway. But yeah I remember that debate, I was probably one who was like “We’ll get to Yusuke but right now we’re talking about Ryuji” and pushing the blame onto Anne is disgusting and Kamo Arc!Ryuji would be very upset. >:( (btw high key I think I was the first one who started the first anti-makoto war wave with me saying “yeah Anne shouldn’t have apologized Makoto started it and blah blah she was an ass” not the exact words but basically just calling her out on her shitty behavior cause the game certainly didn’t......tho as Miley Cyrus would say.....”I didn’t mean to start a waaaaaar~!” I actually wrote my first Persona Problems on that topic.......but it got lost in the drafts....my photo examples kept getting messed up which is bad considering the whole post really relied on them....I should try to dig it up tbh....)

Tldr/short answer: Yeah, you probably already have issues with the char to begin with tbh, and the fanbase can highlight those issues more. It’s also hard to escape the fanbase (I see stuff I don’t wanna see despite trying my hardest to avoid certain circles, it just happens).

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roidesrosette · 5 years ago

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Blood donation? Blood donation.

God bless @narekashi for coming up with this genius name and enabling me to do this, i dont blame you thou i have a lot of fun

Yes, it’s me with another of my (mayhaps) contentless OC, please enjoy while it last– Jkjk, I’ll try to throw more content of her on here instead of Discord next time :’)

BLOOD DONATION: Salvie/Salva/Sal, short for Salvatore

Age: ??? Gender: Salvie doesn’t like to define herself as anything Birthday: 6/24 Height: 160cm Status: Got revived as a vampire

PHYSICAL Appearance: Black hair usually tied in a ponytail, red eyes, sharp teeth, a constant “you dare challenge your god?” mocking expression (but doesn’t have the intention)

Accessories: Poker case set, saber and gun

SOCIAL Affiliation: On her own Occupation: Salvie runs a casino and is involved in a mafia Relationships:

Count: First met him when she was “adopted” by the bunch of vampires. He was offering to give them residence, but they all turned him down. Met him again when she was touring the world alone and made him an acquaintance, they became really good friends after that.

Leonardo: Met him when she was touring in Italy with Count. He kept treating her like a small child (still do), and they would drag each other like how he and Count would. He likes messing up her hair, she likes stepping on him when he’s asleep. Also a pair of good friends.

Arthur: Arthur was interested in Salvie and find her dominating personality challenging, but he knew well enough not to lay a finger on her. You just don’t simply go against someone who could lop off your head and had associations with the mafia. On the other hand thou, they were drinking buddies, and sometimes Salvie would pick up girls with him. They gamble a lot together too.

Dazai: They have an odd relationship. It might be because they’re somehow similar in a way, they know what line not to cross. They just have this weird bond that no one can put a finger to determine what it is.

Isaac: They don’t really talk much, she only knows he really likes apple from what she heard from Dazai, but that’s probably a lie…

Theodorous: God how Salvie loves to tease and sass him. Much like Leo, they would banter every time they met, but Theo always ends up leaving, flustered. He was too young compared to her, maybe a couple more years and his bantering skills might improve. They weren’t really on good terms, especially with how Salvie was involved with Shakespeare and the goddamn mafia, plus how close she and Vincent is.

Vincent: Pure, innocent baby boy. “I’ve only met Vincent for 15 seconds and if anyone hurts him I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.” Absolutely adores him and prefers him over Theo. Salvie admires how innocent he was, and that nature of him would always make her worry about him. She will also give him everything he wants or needs, just to see him smile.

Sebastian: When Count first brought him to the world, she was intrigued by the human who managed to charm him. So she would frequently visit just to see how Sebas works… Until he starts digging her information. She knew his passion well and understood that, but she would prefer if Sebas exclude her from his mysterious notebook.

Napoleon: Salvie was very interested in him, being a demi-vampire, but she does not question him about it. If he isn’t willing to say, then she had no reason to pry. Along with Jeanne, the three of them practiced sword fights from time to time. Salvie would always be fascinated by both of their skills. You could say that their relationship is quite well.

Mozart: Salvie does not talk much with Mozart, but lowkey likes his performance. She would always attend a ball or an activity if Mozart is the one playing the piano. Salvie also finds his prickly attitude fun to tease, but would rather see Arthur tease him. They would only exchange words when it comes to music and that’s it.

Jeanne: Aside from sparring with him, Salvie also supplies weapons to him. She doesn’t question why, as that was the nature of her business. She couldn’t refuse too, since business is business, and he was a resident of Count’s, which she promised the dad before that she would sponsor his residents too, because he was a friend of hers.

Shakespeare: Basically (kinda) love at first sight. Both of them were born with chaos in them, and so they attract each other. She did not meet him when he became the first resident of Count, but she did hear about it. She met him in a ball. It’s a long ass story how they get together but yeah, these two dumbasses are doing fine and dandy as a couple, have their banters and bickers sometimes but all is well. Unless….?

Paired with: William Shakespeare (Maybe…?)

PERSONALITY

Likes: Gambling, attending balls (especially masquerade balls), hunting, going off adventures with her beloved horse, sword fight, overly sweet stuff

Dislikes: Following a schedule/orders, getting treated like a feeble maiden/young child, proper meal, proper sleep

Strength: She’s superb at gambling and swinging her sword, mediocre at drinking, she aced in “not giving a shit”

Weakness: Hides her feelings a lot, tends to distance herself from people who know her to a certain degree, can’t sleep in peace ever

Personality: Let’s just start with: Salvie is chaotic. Very chaotic. Even the name “Salvatore” already tells you she spells trouble. She doesn’t like being bound by rules, schedules or anyone’s orders, she’s a free soul who decides every step. However, she isn’t reckless, each action she took is calculated and rationally think through, as she does not wish to take a step she regrets. That careful and meticulous approach made her seem wise–despite how young she looks–mature even. Well, but sometimes Salvie could be bratty too, since “her adorable looks is the biggest fraud” (quoted from Leo). She also has a bold personality, and that results in her sassing the great men fearlessly, yet that doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect them, in fact, it’s the opposite. She looked up to them greatly, as they were awesome enough to get their name engraved in history.

Her biggest charm is definitely her carefree attitude. She’s just, y’know, damn chill. Salvie doesn’t have a care towards anything, therefore her pronouns and attire choices. Although her easy-going characteristics is an appeal, it’s sometimes a flaw as well. It made it difficult to get along with her as the specifics about her is unclear. Since she was so chill with everything, it’s certainly hard to pin down what are her favourites and stuff. Contradictorily, that light-hearted manner doesn’t apply to people. She unintentionally looks after people, even if she doesn’t want to care, she would still unknowingly do something for them, like leaving them a cup of tea on the table every morning.

On the other hand though, kinda like Dazai, Salvie’s breezy and free demeanor makes it hard to grasp her true character, not mentioning the fact that she tends to sweep everything under the rug. She has a way with words that always, somehow, avoid the topic about herself, and that made her mysterious in a way. She was very quiet of her thoughts, especially things on her mind, rarely talking about her problems. She would tend to fend off questions about that with a gentle reassuring smile and a wispy attitude, as she disliked someone poking into her problems (and of course because she didn’t want to seem weak).

HISTORY

Backstory: Salvie was not recorded at any point in history, yet she was revived. She did not know why and did not question so. When she was first revived, she did not remember anything except her name. Dozens of questions were in her mind, yet there was no one to answer her. For what feels like an eternity, she wandered on the streets aimlessly until she met her kind. They were strong, independent, and raised her as if she was a newborn. Well, she was, kinda. The days gradually passed, and she too, came to understand that she had been reborn into a person–no, an immortal with unrestrained freedom, with unlimited time (not really, but you get the idea). As soon as she came to that conclusion, she bid goodbye to her friends, (guardians maybe?) and took a flight to achieve her dreams–to live how she wanted in her previous life.

Family: Salvie doesn’t remember (or rather, it was insignificant to her) her family in her previous life. She only recognized the group of vampires that took her in as her guardians.

Other history: How Salvie was involved in the mafia is… Well, chaotic. She was supposed to be on the tour with Count to Italy, to visit his long lost friend Leonardo, but along the way she somehow stumbled into an illegal gambling den, challenged the don (with very extreme conditions), defeated the don and accidentally become the new don of the mafia. After going through all the messy procedures, the news about a new mafia boss named “Lord Salvatore” quickly spread through Italy. His nature was depicted as cruel and ruthless as he gets anything he wants, and no one stands in his way. Yet what’s weird was that the “Salvatore Family” was rumored to be civilized and noble, as they were ordered that no blood should be drawn unless it was required to. You can imagine the horror on Leo and Count’s face when they heard about this, and the compliments from her guardians.

TRIVIA

Special abilities: None. (Her face as an instrument of deception) Pet(s): A white horse named Vlad. Hobby: When she isn’t gambling or drinking, she will be out doing mafia business or just wandering somewhere else Secret(s): Had a past lover who she later recalled and somehow disliked that shares the same name with her horse (which she then became devastated knowing that she named her horse after her past lover) Habits: When she’s stressed or troubled, she will smoke from a pipe

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp oc #my art #traditional art #ok i did swear ill make a proper profile and full body design for my cradlesona #and then i didnt but i did this instead #but STILL I SWEAR I WILL #AND I PROMISE ILL SHARE CONTENT OF MY OC #**I REALLY PROMISE**#its mostly sketches so i uh usually dont put them out #i swear ill post non sketches-----#blood donation

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duhragonball · 5 years ago

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Dragon Ball Super Movie 1: Broly (1/2)

This ended up taking longer than I expected, so I decided to break it up into sections. The first Dragon Ball Super movie premiered in Japan on December 14, 2018, and then in the U.S. and Canada on January 16, 2019.

After Resurrection F, just about every episode of Dragon Ball Super aired, and this movie takes place after all of that. So just to get everyone up to speed: Beerus had a friendly tournament with his counterpart in Universe 6, and the King of Everything liked the idea so much that he threw his own event called the Tournament of Power, which saw eight universes square off in teams of ten. But our universe was short-handed, so Goku arranged for Frieza to be brought back to life for one day so he could participate, and then Whis revived Frieza for keeps after Beerus was pleased with Frieza’s performance.

This movie is important for a few reasons. First, it features Aya Hisakawa as Bulma, the first time the role has been recast following Hiromi Tsuru’s tragic death in 2017.

Second, this movie reintroduces the Broly character. In the DBZ films, he was a side-story, non-canon villain, but this movie works him into the main canon. Well... as canonical as Dragon Ball Super gets, I suppose. Similarly, this movie also does the same thing with Gogeta.

Third, this one currently stands as the highest-grossing Dragon Ball movie ever, and one of the top-grossing anime films of all time. I looked at the Wikipedia list, and it’s at #12. But Resurrection F is at #19, so I think it’s safe to assume that any future Dragon Ball movies might break the record. Even so, I knew this one was a bigger deal when I went to see it. Res F only played in my town for three days, I think. Broly ran for maybe three weeks and I couldn’t see it on the first try because it was sold out that night. If it’s true that Akira Toriyama came out of retirement because of how bad Dragon Ball: Evolution was, then I think it’s safe to say that he’s exorcised that demon.

Fourth, this movie’s box office success and popularity led to the downfall of American voice actor and sex pest Vic Mignogna. Vic has played Broly in all of his past movies, as well as the video games and any other localized Broly media. But he’s also garnered a reputation over the decades for creeping on women and girls at fan conventions. DBS: Broly put him in the limelight again, and I’m pretty sure this caused a lot of people to ask why we’re still putting up with this perv in the year 2019. A few weeks after the movie premiered in the U.S., RoosterTeeth cut ties with him and re-cast all the parts he played for their shows. A week later, Funimation did the same thing. Quite stupidly, Vic tried to sue his way out of this mess, taking Funimation and two of its voice actresses to court for defamation and conspiracy, and the case was dismissed with prejudice on October 4. The last I heard, he was doing public appearances in the basements of creepy malls. Maybe there’s still venues willing to do business with him, but as I understand it, most anime conventions have recognized that he just isn’t worth the bad publicity.

Anyway, it’s kind of weird to be doing this with a movie that just came out eleven months ago. This will probably be more text-heavy than usual, since I have a lot of things to say about this movie that I never got around to earlier in the year.

For example, what the hell is this thing?

All right, so the first... I dunno, fifteen minutes?... of this movie is a flashback of what Planet Vegeta was like before Frieza destroyed it. For clarity: the main story of this movie is set in Age 780, the same year as the Tournament of Power in the DBS TV series, while this flashback takes place in Age 739.... I guess? The Dragon Ball Wiki contends that Goku and Broly were born in Age 737, and they look about two years old in this part, but I dunno.

Anyway, King Cold has come to Planet Vegeta to inform King Vegeta that he’s retiring from the space-villain business and putting his son Frieza in charge. This was always very satisfying to me, because I never quite understood King Cold’s role in the Frieza organization. Turns out he used to run the whole thing, and then he handed it over to Frieza, which allows him to retain a lot of power without actually having to run things directly.

It also explains why the Saiyans lasted as long as they did under Frieza’s rule. Conquering the Saiyans happened under King Cold’s regime. Once Frieza took over, he spent some time reconsidering that decision. Anyway, Frieza hands out scouters to King Vegeta, explaining that they’re the new latest and greatest technology for detecting and quantifying powerful fighters. He even shoots down some Saiyan snipers just to demonstrate how well they work.

King Vegeta doesn’t like this turn of events, maybe because he had hoped King Cold would grant the Saiyans independence when he retired. But there’s no much he can do about it, so he consoles himself in his son, Prince Vegeta. The tests show that Vegeta has enormous potential, and the King is certain that his son will one day grow powerful enough to overthrow Frieza and rule the universe himself.

Then he sees another life support tank with another Saiyan baby in it, and he throws a hissy fit about it. See, Saiyans in this era raise their newborns in these tanks, and this particular tank farm is for babies singled out for having elite fighting potential. The guys who run the place explain to him that Colonel Paragus’s son had exceptional test results, which may even exceed Prince Vegeta’s. The King tries to see for himself, but the measuring device overloads and explodes.

Then this lady walks up and tells him Broly might possibly become the next Legendary Super Saiyan, which doesn’t exactly put the king at ease.

So King Vegeta orders Broly to be shipped off to the planetoid of Vampa. When Paragus learns of this, he demands an explanation, since you only do that sort of thing for weaker, low-class Saiyan babies. That’s what Raditz said way back in DBZ episode 2, you know, but Broly’s already been shown to be far stronger than this. Also, Vampa’s a dump and everyone knows it, so even if Broly subjugates the planet, no one would want to buy it, so what’s the point. King Vegeta explains that Broly is probably some kind of mutant, and no matter how strong he may be, he’ll eventually lose control of that power and become dangerous. At least this way he’ll be on Vampa instead of being dead. But Paragus thinks the king is only doing this out of jealousy. He can’t handle that a mere colonel’s son tested better than the prince, so he’s sweeping Broly under the rug.

So Paragus hijacks a spaceship and flies to Vampa himself to rescue Broly. His plan is to desert King Vegeta and the Frieza Force and raise Broly on some other planet until he can make Broly into a great warrior. Another Saiyan named Beets tries to talk him out of it, but ends up getting roped into the hijacking. Paragus foolishly crash lands the ship on Vampa, and when Beets says he can’t repair the ship, Paragus shoots him so the rations will last longer. I like this scene, because when they first arrived on Vampa, Paragus made Beets come with him, fearing that he’d take off and leave them if he stayed behind. Beets swore he’d never do that, but Paragus doesn’t believe in trustworthy Saiyans. So his shooting Beets is just proof of his cynicism towards his own people.

Then we flash forward another five years. That seems kind of fishy to me, but okay.

Bardock and his comrade are on their way back to Planet Vegeta, because Frieza ordered them all to come home. Bardock is suspicious, because if Frieza had orders for them, he could have just relayed them by radio, and if he has weapons to distribute, then there’d still be no need to have every Saiyan on the planet at the same time to hand them all out.

I know people don’t care much for the Dragon Ball Minus version of Bardock, but it does make a lot more sense than the “Father of Goku” version. This movie expands on the Dragon Ball Minus comic by explaining Bardock’s reasoning in greater detail. The other Saiyans simply can’t believe that Frieza would do anything drastic to them, mainly because they work for Frieza and do what he wants. But Bardock knows that the Saiyans dislike Frieza, and that the feeling is probably mutual, and he might just be planning to do something about it.

Then one of his pals mentions that Frieza’s administrators have been asking around about the Super Saiyan legend, and that’s the final piece of the puzzle. Bardock realizes that Frieza’s worried about a Saiyan uprising, which normally wouldn’t be a threat, unless a Super Saiyan emerges.

The point I’m driving at here is that he doesn’t really need psychic powers to see all this coming. He just happens to be smart enough and paranoid enough to figure out how Frieza thinks. It’s not as dramatic as “Father of Goku”, but it’s still effective.

The thing I tried to do last year was to write a fanfic that combined this version of Bardock with the “FoG” version. Basically, to have Gine in the story and have her cope with her husband having doomsday visions. I really ought to get back to that sometime.

As for Frieza, his people report that the Super Saiyan and Super Saiyan God are nothing more than old stories, but Frieza insists that he had to be certain. Even so, he plans to blow up all the Saiyans anyway, since he’s got them all together in one place. I don’t know, maybe he only asked about Super Saiyans because he was afraid this upcoming attack might provoke a Super Saiyan survivor.

Moving on, if you know the story of Dragon Ball Minus, you know what’s coming next. Bardock meets up with his wife Gine, and I dig this chubby Saiyan working at the meat-packing place. I think that’s my favorite part of this movie, really, just seeing all the diverse kinds of Saiyans running around on this planet. Fat ones, thin ones, weak ones. That one lady looked like some kind of scientist, and the guy in King Vegeta’s court looked like a butler or something. It’s a nice change from DBZ, where every Saiyan extra ended up looking like Raditz, more or less. And every Saiyan from Universe 6 looked like they were made of noodles.

Bardock asks about their kids, and Gine explains that Raditz has been assigned to off-world duty with Prince Vegeta. As for Kakarot, he’s still in his tank, which just sort of sits in the middle of their home. Bardock plans to steal a space pod and send Kakarot to another planet, since he thinks Frieza’s going to blow up Planet Vegeta soon, because he believes the Legendary Super Saiyan might appear.

Gine is upset with this, obviously. What really threw me when I first watched the movie was how all these characters speak of the Legendary Super Saiyan. No one seems to quite believe in the idea, or maybe it’s more accurate to say that they don’t particularly care if it’s true or not, since it would have happened so long ago. But there’s a forboding sense that it could happen again. King Vegeta are looking forward to it, because they think their sons could fill that role. But Bardock and Gine dread it, because that dumb story convinced Frieza to kill them all, and it’s going to get their son shot into space. Anyway, anytime someone mentions the Super Saiyan in this movie, someone else always goes “You mean the Legendary Super Saiyan?” No, mate, I was referring to the ordinary kind you see on every street corner.

Anyway, this was why I started writing my fic, because this legend was such a big deal in early DBZ. No one in-universe seems to know anything about the previous Super Saiyan. Even if the guy never existed, you’d expect there to be some details. My assumption is that this was all lost over the past thousand years, to the point where all anyone remembers is that some Saiyan got tired of being nice and decided to go ape shitt. And that run of destruction was so memorable that people still talk about it a thousand years later, even after everything else got forgotten. For me, that’s a writing prompt, and I’ve spent the last four years trying to write a story and build an OC who could make Frieza nervous enough to blow up an entire planet of his own henchmen.

So when I watched this movie, I sort of worried that one of the characters might drop some new, unwanted lore about the Legendary Super Saiyan. Up to this point, all we knew about the legend was what Vegeta recalled, but for all I knew Gine studied up on the subject when she took that mythology course at Saiyan University. “Super Saiyan? You mean like Topotay, the seven-foot-tall heteronormative man who hated cooking and never left his home planet?”

So Bardock prepares the pod, and when Gine asks him why he’s bothering, especially when they can’t save themselves, he explains that it’s because he spends all his time fighting that he wants to try to save something for a change. I like that a lot, because so much of the Saiyan culture in DBZ is extrapolated from Raditz and Vegeta’s perception of it, which is slanted towards ultra-violence and ruthlessness-as-virtue. And sure, there’s plenty of that. We get a lot of it in this very movie. But there’s two sides to the coin. Paragus was genuinely worried about his son, and Beets seemed to be sympathetic to him as well. Bardock embraced his wife in front of someone, and now this. Character traits aren’t hard rules. It isn’t out-of-character for a violent man to crave peace once in a while, or for a brutal warrior to finally appreciate compassion, especially when he thinks he’s about to die.

The big twist here is that Bardock sent Goku to Earth to save his life. He was not, as Raditz assumed, deployed to Earth by the Saiyan government to conquer it. In fact, Bardock chose the Earth specifically because it was far enough out of the way that he didn’t think Frieza would bother with it. Gine would later contact Raditz to inform him of all of this, but she left out the details of why they did this, probably for fear of being overheard on the communicators.

In orbit, Frieza’s aides point out that the Saiyans make up half of their fighting force, but Frieza doesn’t care. He knows the Saiyans aren’t going to quietly tolerate his rule forever, so it’s better to deal with them now. That’s how afraid of the Super Saiyan he is. He’d rather blow up half his military than worry about it. Presumably, King Cold never cared in the first place. He could barely rememer what a Super Saiyan was, even while he was watching Trunks turn into one.

Anyway, Frieza does the fingerbang thing, Bardock tries to stop it, but he fails and gets zapped back in time to the Episode of Bardock special, and the planet explodes. We’ve seen this moment maybe a dozen times by now, but I do like the part where Frieza monitors the destruction on his scouter, and the number of power signals coming from the planet count down to zero.

Elsewhere, Prince Vegeta’s group hears about this, and they find the whole thing suspicious, because the official story is that the planet got hit by a meteor. Vegeta and Raditz don’t particularly care. They both have brothers off-world, but they dismiss them as unimportant weaklings.

Then we finally flash forward to the main story of the movie. Baby Kakarot has grown up into Son Goku, the hero of Earth, and Vegeta lives here too, and he’s married the richest lady on the planet. They both turned into the next Legendary Super Saiyan, and recently they just got done teaming up with Frieza to win the Tournament of Power, proving that their universe deserves to exist. But Goku and Vegeta still want to get stronger. Goku, because he wants to fight all those strong guys he met from the other universes, and Vegeta because he’s convinced that Frieza will attack the Earth again now that he’s returned to life. Also, Beerus and Whis are here, for no particularly good reason. That seems to be the Dragon Ball Super brand in a nutshell. What made Movie 14 so good was how they introduced them as new characters, made them the focus of the story, and had them shake things up. Since then, they just hang out on the sidelines and eat snacks.

This works out, though, because Bulma gets a call from Trunks about someone breaking into her lab and stealing the six Dragon Balls she had collected, as well as the Dragon Radar. They quickly realize it was Frieza’s henchmen who did it, and so they head off to find the 7th Dragon Ball before they do. Whis wants to tag along, but Beerus doesn’t, so she leaves her baby behind and asks him to keep an eye on her. D’awwwwwwwwww.

On the way to the ice continent where the last ball is located, Goku asks why Bulma was collecting the Dragon Balls in the first place. She admits that she wanted to ask Shenron to de-age her by about five years. Just five? Bulma figures that if she makes herself too young all at once, people will think she had plastic surgery. Why not just get plastic surgery? Wait, I’m asking the wrong question here. Don’t people already think Bulma already had work done? She hasn’t aged since the Cell Games.

So what does Frieza plan to wish for? When he first appeared back in early DBZ, he wanted to become immortal. His aide, whose name I have forgotten, asks if he’s going to try that again, but Frieza says no.

I’m confused by his reasoning, but Frieza explains that while he was dead and in hell, he realized that it was torture being unable to die or move, so immortality holds no meaning for him. Okay, but that only happened to you because you died. Does Frieza think that becoming immortal would leave him unable to move? Or is he just afraid of getting trapped in some situation where death would be the only release, like when Garlic Junior got trapped in the Dead Zone?

At the very least, I’ll give credit where it’s due: it looks like Toriyama finally gave Frieza a bit of character development to play into his resurrection. My big complaint about Resurrection F was that Frieza came back to life and immediately went right back to doing all the stupid shit that got him killed in the first place, and it seemed like the 15 years he spent in hell had no effect on him whatsoever. He wasn’t afraid of dying again, nor was he dismayed by the knowledge of what awaits him on the others side. Now, in this movie, he at least has some perspective. Shenron could make Frieza immortal, but he can’t make him stronger than Goku, so maybe he’s worried that Goku might throw him into a black hole or something.

Even so, it was weird to watch this movie and see a Frieza who utterly does not care about becoming immortal, because he seemed so obsessed with it back on Namek. But now that I’ve watched DBZ in Japanese, I’ve noticed that Frieza never seemed all that concerned about it. He’s not Voldemort, who was terrified of death and sought to conquer it, or Kars, who wanted to eliminate his few remaining weaknesses. Frieza only seemed to want immortality back then because it was the only thing he could think of that he didn’t already have, and maybe to screw with Vegeta, who saw the Dragon Balls as the only way to beat Frieza. Still, I find it odd that Frieza isn’t even a little worried about what’ll happen to him when he finally kicks the bucket. His aide suggests that he might wish for an invincible-but-still-mortal body, and Frieza says that would take all the fun out of “the game”. So I guess he’s adopted an Android 17 outlook on life? Well, so be it, but he knows he’s going to get hung up on the happy fun tree again whenever he dies of old age, so why doesn’t that weigh on him? In Movie 15, he seemed to think he only ended up there because he died on Earth. Does he think if he dies someplace else, that he’ll go to a better hell with free wifi and room service? If I were Frieza, I’d be doing some serious churchin’ up.

Anyway, his other, cooler aide, Berryblue, already has this figured out: Frieza wants to wish to be taller. Specifically, five centimeters taller, so that it won’t be too conspicuous. I really like Berryblue, even though this is about the only thing she does in this movie. Both of these aides appeared in the flashback, implying that they’ve been with Frieza for decades and somehow survived his fifteen-year death. There would have been no need for someone like her on his Namek campaign, but the absence of characters like her was exactly why I never cared much for Frieza’s classic henchmen. They were all jacked up thugs constantly licking Frieza’s boots and not much else. Berryblue’s not afraid of this guy at all, probably because she changed his space-diapers when he was little, and if he kills her, he won’t have anyone to bring him space-wine from the ship’s space-cellar.

So why doesn’t Frieza just use his second form, the one he used to fight Piccolo on Namek? That form was like eight feet tall, but also fuck Frieza’s second form. He only had those forms to regulate his power, and these days he doesn’t even use them. He wants to be taller in his default state. But he doesn’t want to be too tall all at once, or it wouldn’t look natural. This from the guy who went out of his way to turn mustard yellow at full power.

Personally, I’m torn on this whole gag. It is kind of funny that Frieza is after the same dumb kind of wish that Bulma was, but it’s also kind of stupid that Frieza is after the exact same thing that Commander Red wanted way back in the original Dragon Ball. The problem with bringing Frieza back is that no one knows what to do with him. They already had him attack Earth again, die again, and come back again. We’ve even seen him team up with the good guys. But DBS ended with him going off on his merry way, and it looks like he’s rebuilding the Frieza Force, but that feels kind of hollow while he has Goku and Vegeta on his mind. Having him make another go at the Dragon Balls is a solid move, except the Dragon Balls alone aren’t a motivation because you still need to have something to wish for. This whole “5cm taller” thing just feels like a gag to cover the lack of an actual answer to the problem.

Meanwhile, let’s check in on these two. The green lady is Cheelai, and the orange guy is Leemo. They’re in the Frieza Force, but not as warriors. Leemo’s just a transport pilot, and I don’t really know what Cheelai’s official job is, but their current assignment is to search the galaxy for strong warriors to recruit for Frieza’s army. When you think about it, Frieza’s pretty bad at this whole “private army” business. King Cold left him the entire Saiyan race, the Ginyu Force, Zarbon, Dodoria, and whoever else. First, Frieza wiped out the Saiyans, which made up half of his soldiers. Then he deployed his finest troops to Namek, where they al got taken out by Goku and Vegeta, two of the Saiyans he neglected to kill. Then Frieza gets himself and King Cold killed on a pointless revenge mission, leaving Sorbet to try to keep the whole thing going. Across a fifteen year period, Sorbet probably loses a lot of good soldiers to insurrections and desertion. Then Frieza comes back and assembles an army of 1000 warriors, and he kills all of them on another pointless revenge mission.

So yeah, in this scene, Cheelai laments that there just aren’t many warriors out there with a power level greater than 1000. Well there used to be, until Frieza got them all killed. Now he’s down to scrubs like Leemo, who’s worked for Frieza for decades, but can’t fight worth a damn. According to Cheelai, she only joined up because she stole a spaceship or something, and knew the authorities wouldn’t chase after her if she was in the Frieza Force. Really? I don’t think Frieza would go out of his way to personally avenge or rescue her if the Galactic Patrol caught her.

There’s a cute gag here where Cheelai mentions how Frieza turned out to be shorter than she expected, and Leemo warns her never to say that again if she values her life, recalling how Berryblue mentioned that Frieza used to execute some of his men for mocking his height behind his back. Gee, why could Frieza have a staffing problem? This is why Cell is the best villain. He’s plenty tall, and he’s not so friggin’ insecure, and he can handle his own shit.

Anyway, the pair pick up a distress signal and it turns out it’s coming from Vampa, where they find Paragus striking... a pose. Yes. It’s like he knew he’d be wearing a shower curtain over his legs for the rest of the movie so he wanted to flaunt his goodies now while he still had the chance.

Paragus is now old and grey-headed, but he still has a power level of 4200, which is weaker than Nappa, but still good enough that Leemo and Cheelai are thrilled to take him back on their ship. But then they get attacked by the giant head lice on Vampa, and Paragus calls for Broly to save them...

...And Cheelai is astounded by his power, which is too high to measure on the scouter. That... doesn’t mean a whole lot these days, unless they increased the scouters’ range since the Freiza Saga. Hers doesn’t explode, at least, so they managed to improve that much in the past twenty years.

So on the ride back, Cheelai spends some time with Broly and gives him ration bars, or maybe it’s just candy, I dunno. Paragus tells Broly to thank her, but she finds it too formal, and teaches the “Okay” sign as she tells Broly to just say “thank you” and leave it at that.

Aboard Frieza’s ship, Paragus explains that he had to cut off Broly’s tail because he was getting too powerful, and that Broly would have these surges in power where he would lose all control of himself. To deal with these, he put a shock collar on Broly’s neck, and he keeps the remote in his fanny pack. He demonstrates how it works, and Leemo and Cheelai are horrified.

But they’re not so horrified that they balk at their reward for finding these two. Apparently everyone in DBZ outer space gets paid in ball-point pens.

After Leemo and Cheelai leave, Frieza explains to Paragus that Planet Vegeta was destroyed a long time ago, though he neglects to mention that he did the destroying. Not that Paragus cares, since he gave up on ever going back there because of King Vegeta. Frieza mentions that Prince Vegeta is still alive on Earth, and offers to help him get revenge.

Notably in this scene, Frieza refers to Prince Vegeta as “Vegeta IV,” which makes his dad King Vegeta III. It’s nice to finally have that settled after all these years.

I hadn’t noticed this until now, but there’s another lady on the ship besides Cheelai and Berryblue. Probably not that remarkable, since Cheelai already explained that Frieza was hiring more women now that he couldn’t afford to be picky. There are sources that say Frieza’s organization just didn’t allow women, period, but I always find those sort of absolutes hard to believe. There’s also been talk that Frieza’s species has no gender, which is entirely plausible, but then why should Frieza bother with making sexist hiring policies?

Wait, maybe Frieza got frustrated with it. Like, he kept misgengering his staff, and he didn’t like looking foolish, so he just went, you know what, no women. That actually makes some sense, especially in light of this movie, where he’s on a hiring spree for his ultra-important campaign to grow two whole inches.

Oh, wait, I just remembered that tough-looking lady they introduced for Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot. I guess she was working for Frieza the whole time, but maybe he made special exceptions for quality talent. Or he separated his crews by gender, so whenever he boards a different ship someone has to tell him which pronouns to use. This is why Cell’s the best villain, because if you tell him your pronouns, he’ll just fucking remember instead of being a jackass about it. All thanks to Piccolo’s cells. Also Nappa’s.

When Broly and Paragus come down for some food, Cheelai invites them to their table, but Paragus isn’t interested in chatting, and Broly doesn’t seem to know how. Cheelai asks him why he’s still wearing the green fur around his waist, but when she tries to touch it he flips out, and she backs off. Mostly, I just like this shot of Cheelai here.

Also this one, where she gets upset with Paragus for not allowing Broly to tell his tragic backstory. But we’ll have to save that for the second half of this review.

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pugovkaisafk · 6 years ago

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I’ve decided to do something different and instead of leaving notes on my Kobo, I’ll be leaving them here in this post, as I read through A Court of Mist and Fury. This book is longer and I’m sure full of details, so I don’t want to miss any.

Intro

- “Amarantha drawled, her deep red hair” There was an editing mistake in the first book that suddenly changed Amarantha’s red hair into black. I’m glad they didn’t this time

Chapter 1

- “I squeezed my fingers into a fist, blocking out that eye” Use gloves? I’m sure he would see through anyway, but at least it would be a short relief

Chapter 2

- “I don’t have the sentries to spare to escort you” But when she was merely a human and you needed her alive and well, she was barely under any protection? - “Please - please just do this for me”

- “His equal. A union with Tamlin” Is this foreshadowing? - ”[...] childless, and keen to enjoy the finest males the land has to offer” Ianthe is giving me such bad vibes for some reason, sneaky snake - ”Not that he particularly wants anything to do with me” That’s right, my boy Lucien. We would be totally friends bitching about Ianthe. - “I’d wept with joy as I told him yes, yes, a thousand times yes” Proposal “offscreen”? This wedding is so NOT happening.

Chapter 3

- “Did he let you take me today so that I’d stop asking to help rebuild?” I feel like he threatened everyone so they would refuse. Yikes

Chapter 4

- “I’ve another hour before I need to sleep” I hope Ianthe chokes on air and dick. They are all treating Feyre like a newborn. - “A fitting end would have been me in a grave, burning in hell” Oh honey, don’t we all feel like that from time to time - “Then you don’t know Rhysand very well at all” HELL YEAH, let these fools know. - “No wonder Tamlin had laughed” Why would you even agree to wear that hideous dress? It’s your wedding! And Tamlin is such a tool, he doesn’t understand shit. - “And you sound like you’re going to your funeral” Because she is?! She can’t even run anywhere. Where would she go - “As inescapable as the vow I was about to make, binding me to him forever” BIG YIKES. MY ANXIETY. - “Hello, Feyre darling” Boi, it’s about time!! I missed you

Chapter 5

- “You think I enjoy being awoken every night by visions of you puking?” BUT the most important question is.. did you snoop while they were fornicating? -”I barely saw my silk slipper as it flew through the air [...] and slammed into his head”

-”For this week? I want you to learn how to read.” / “No, thank you” You fucking walnut. You just had a trial that almost killed you because you couldn’t read

Chapter 6

- “Forgive me for being excited about having company for once” I already love Mor. So bubbly. - “Everyone else says you are” / “ And what do you think?” YES. Exactly. He helped you so much when he could have left you to rot in that prison. Like c’mon, at least play this “game” intelligently.

Chapter 7

- “But you’re the only one I trust” She’s gonna tell everything the moment she goes back. Because of Tamlin, big dick, love of my life, High Lord yadda yadda -”You are no one’s subject” *claps and nods* -”[...] and I don’t believe for one damn minute that you’re remotely fine with being a pretty trophy for someone who sat on his ass for nearly fifty years, then sat on his ass while you were shredded apart--” That’s what I’m saying!!! Tamlin was sitting all the time like a silent monk and only during the last day tried to contact her, and only for fucking. Not even saying I’m sorry, run away... something. I knew men like that, damn leeches. Rhys, you are too good. I loved so much how he plunged towards Amarantha in the first book, screaming and trying so desperately. - “You’ll probably ignore it, anyway. Sweep it under the rug, like everything else” This is so good. Like I’m only at the beginning of the book and already am sad because it’ll be soon over. I love mature and self-analyzing characters. -”You trashed the study” / “I trashed half the house” Oh, fuck off into the sunset already. -”This feels an awful lot like an interrogation” Imma about to slap the spring out of him -”You don’t need to train. I can guard you from whatever comes our way”

Chapter 8

- “Do not interrupt me” I get it. You've got a role to play as a High Lord, but sometimes being merciful gets you farther in life. Such a lack of compassion. Sarah J. Maas is pushing extra hard on the dislike button. - “Because this is how things are done here, and when you hand that gluttonous faerie the money she needs, it makes me [...] look weak” BITCH, Feyre starved for 8 years! Of course, she’s gonna help? Like do you even know who is your fiancè? All I’m hearing is me, never us. - “Did I ask for your opinion?” Did I ask for you to appear in these books?

Chapter 9

- “It was worse than a crown, actually. [...] A traveling painting kit” I.AM.WHEEZING. Tamlin is one of those people that buys you milk knowing that you are intolerant and gonna shit your pants off. Gets also offended in the process. Tamlin is one of those people that asks you something and a couple of days later goes over the same questions, leaving you to wonder if talking to the walls is more beneficial. - “I cried out, instinct taking over as his power blasted through the room” Hold on. HOLD ON. Let me read this shit again. ... Bruh.

Chapter 10

- “I’ll try to be better. [...] Today - let’s forget, let’s just move past it. Please” Nah uh. I’m gonna write it all down. You hairy pimple. - “It was never the time for this conversation or that conversation” If you feel like you have to walk on the eggshells with your lover, the one you are supposed to live with until your days are over, it’s time to reevaluate life and run to the next available galaxy. - “I already have everything I want” Sheeeit. I’m impressed. Rhysand: *breathes* Me: YES, BEST BREATHING EVER.

Chapter 11

- “But it had filled my time - given me quiet, a steadfast company with those characters, who did not exist and never would, but somehow made me feel less...alone” The bookblr community sends its regards. Girl, I still remember my first fictional boyfriend. Don’t worry, it’s okay.

- “Bastard. Arrogant, presuming bastard” I really dislike this word used as an insult. Sarah J. Maas overuses it. It’s not even a funny one. - “The next morning, Tamlin was waiting in the shade of the gnarled, mighty oak tree in the garden” UGH. Reminds me of someone I used to “date”, that didn’t really respect my wishes and often called only to tell me he was bored. Was I a clown to him? Maybe. I had some great tricks indeed. Though I feel like that the biggest one, the “ sim sala bim I’m gonna disappear”, never really took off with him.

#a court of mist and fury #bookblr #books #acotar #acomaf #comment

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onisionhurtspeople · 7 years ago

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Sorry I just ran into this blog, Lainey said on Twitter they're an ISFJ awhile back. I can see both them being an unhealthy INFP that thinks their Si is stronger than it actually is due to looping and them being an unhealthy ISFJ. They could be in an Si-Ti loop where they dont let new ideas in and believes their experience/conclusions are always correct without looking further than that for information. (1/3)

They’re also very tactful (auxiliary Fe) which makes them seem innocent and wanting group harmony instead of drama. An unhealthy Fe user sweeps issues under the rug to live in their ideal “peaceful” world. If an ISFJ is gripping, their inferior function is Ne. This may cause them to think of all the ways life could be and using it as an excuse that nothing could go wrong due to the likelihood (they think) of it in their life (ex. bringing 18-20 year olds into an unhealthy relationship, believing Onision didn’t cheat due to the fact many things could happen since there are infinite truths in the world and Si-Ti may think that their POV is the most correct from what they gathered). I can see INFP but I do want to see what you think of this.

Sorry it took so long to respond! I knew this was going to be a long one, so I’ve been avoiding it because tbh you will never meet a lazier INTJ than me. I apologize in advance for the poor quality of this message, because my brain fog is really shitty today and I’m feeling not nearly as sharp as I usually am. My arguments will probably not be as convincing or wordy as they usually are.

Anyway, I believe she actually said she was INFJ. I remember because I was the one who asked her to take the quiz. >_> (Unless we’re thinking of two different incidences? This was, if I recall correctly, around the time that Billie had just left for the final time, so I want to say September or October of 2016.) Anyway–tbh, the fact that she got INFJ just confirmed to me more than anything else that she really was an INFP, because let’s be real, I’m pretty sure no INFP has ever existed who didn’t first mistype themselves as being an INFJ. (I’m mostly joking, but like.. only mostly.) Of course, ISFJs also frequently mistype as INFJs, so this is an idea worth exploring.

Anyway, I shall try to explain why I see her as an INFP rather than as an ISFJ or INFJ. I apologize in advance if you’re an INFP; if I end up saying anything rude about them, please understand that I’m not making disparaging comments about INFPs in general - I’m just evaluating Lainey, who is (I believe) a very unhealthy version of her type.

So, first and foremost: Fi. Sooo much Fi. But Fi in the most unhealthy way possible: incredibly self-righteous and self-absorbed, and excessively concerned with interpreting and relaying her own individualistic, unique identity to the world. She needs to be acknowledged for her differences. If you look back at all of the arguments she’s ever had with Greg on social media (in other words, the times when he says something that aggrieves her enough that she’s actually willing to confront him over it), they all have the same theme in common: they’re always about her feeling affronted because he invalidated her values or sense of self somehow. For example: the last fight they got in was because Greg referred to himself as being in a straight relationship, which offended Lainey because she interpreted that as him undermining her gender. I can think of a few other examples of their arguments on social media off the top of my head, and they all follow that same theme: Greg being insulted that she was hero-worshiping a musician who didn’t like him (also an Fi user); Greg arguing with her about eating fish; Greg calling her filthy because her room was dirty and she hadn’t cleaned it; Greg insulting her family (especially her mother and sister). When Lainey gets involved in Greg’s debates or ongoing feuds with other content creators (Jaclyn Glenn, Joy Sparkle BS, Blaire White, etc), it’s never to weigh in with her opinion, and only ever to express her irritation over them misgendering her, either accidentally or on purpose. When she’s rude and condescending towards her fans, it’s typically because they questioned her sense of self somehow (usually in regards to her gender, internal motivations, or relationship with Greg). It’s rarely in defense of anybody else, which I feel like would happen more often if she really was an Fe user.

I think the tactfulness and willingness to sweep things under the rug that you’re interpreting as being aux Fe may actually be a combination of Fi seeking harmony in relationships (high Fi users can do this too, just like Fe users can; the difference mainly lies in when, and for what reason, their feeling function becomes triggered when somebody crosses the line. For Fi users, this tends to be when something strikes a personal nerve or attacks and invalidates their character or sense of self; for Fe users, this tends to be when somebody rejects, abuses, or takes advantage of their warmth and care, or when somebody expresses a lack of concern for the collective (family, friends, neighborhood, club, church group, society, etc) - other words, selfishness. If you dismiss their overtures of affection after they’ve put effort into displaying warmth and consideration, then they may become offended when that same person then takes advantage of those polite gestures, or refuses to reciprocate them), and also Lainey just generally not caring enough to say or do anything to counter Greg that might rock the boat in their private life.

Secondly: Ne. In Lainey’s case, her Ne is not as overt as I’ve observed it in other INFPs, and I’m not sure why this is. I apologize if this comes off as rude (and it really kind of is, but I don’t know how else to say this in a non-offensive way), but I think it’s really just because Lainey is an INFP of average intelligence, whereas most INFPs (that I’ve encountered, anyway) are in the gifted range, and so their Ne is much more readily apparent. Ne and Se share many qualities (being that they’re both Pe functions), including that they both have a preference for wanting to live life by their own standards, a strong dislike of feeling constrained or held back, feeling compelled to seek novelty (Se in a more physical, concrete way, and Ne in a more abstract, conceptual way), and wanting to learn through experience. Se and Ne both feel driven to be seen as cool–but in different ways. Se wants to be seen as cool in a more physical and conventional sense - for example, by being entertaining, or by dressing in a manner that is immediately impactful in a sensory way. Ne, on the other hand, wants to be cool by being unique, different, iconoclastic - it wants to be regarded as quirky and iconoclastic, cool for being “uncool”, if that makes sense. And so many INFPs are drawn to countercultures (hipsters, for example) who are unconventional, but still have a certain mystique and draw to them; and I definitely think Lainey fulfills that aspect of Ne.

Ugh. I’m sorry, my brain power is running low. Brain fog is super bad today. I think we both see Si in her, so I don’t think I have to explain that. Mainly where I see Si in her (especially in the form of Fi-Si loops) is her inability to let go of people from her past. She even did it with Billie: brought her back over and over again because she would find herself looking back on the good times, and minimizing the bad ones. She makes the same mistakes repeatedly because she reviews her memories of them (memories which are attached to emotional experiences), and feels compelled to relive them, no matter how painful they were.

Please don’t make me write something for Te. My Te is all pooped out today. :C

Anyway, it’s lovely running into somebody on here who’s knowledgeable about the cognitive functions! =O I’m guessing you’re an INFP as well? Sorry for this shitty argument, I might try to redo it in a few days when my brain fog dissipates a little.

Edit: I just went back to the the post; and yeah, she scored as INFJ-T on the 16personalities test (admittedly shitty and has nothing to do with the cognitive functions). In the comment section, I left a link on how to differentiate between INFJ and INFP, lmao.

Edit #2: Oh, one last thing: here’s a description of what a destructive INFP looks like from one of my favorite MBTI sites, Psychology Junkie. Doesn’t it remind you of Lainey?

Destructive INFPs are self-absorbed, self-righteous, and waver between being passive and extremely judgmental. They enjoy living in their fantasies, but care little for the practical realities of daily life. They may neglect their loved ones and family members and instead prefer to live in a world of their own making, in essence abandoning everyone who holds them dear. They may consider themselves more morally superior or “righteous” than others, married to their idealism to such an extent that any and everyone in the real world seems flawed and disappointing. They may retreat from the world and silently judge everyone they see. Over time, they may become increasingly harsh and condemning of people in their lives. They may become so obsessed with their own emotions and fantasies that they shun or berate anyone who tries to find a way into their hearts.

Healthy INFPs are extremely empathetic, gentle, and compassionate individuals. They care for the persecuted and marginalized people of the world, and strive to help them. They are honest and driven by their morals to live a life that adheres to their values. They are creative and insightful, slow to judge others yet holding themselves to a high standard.

Also, just for the keks, here’s the description of destructive ESTJs, the type that I suspect Greg is. (I do believe that he actually took an MBTI test and scored as ESTJ, which he hilariously tried to use to “prove” that he wasn’t a narcissist or psychopath. Really shows how much effort he puts into researching his “facts”.

Destructive ESTJs are dictatorial, aggressive, and controlling. They believe that they know what’s best for everyone, and that their way is the only way. They suppress their moral compass and disregard the feelings and values of other people in exchange for their own rigid views. They push forward to achieve their goals, but instead of taking time to reflect on their decisions, they steamroll over everyone in their path in order to accomplish tasks without considering alternate viewpoints or the moral implications of their actions. They may be loyal to a corrupt system or authority and suppress anyone who stands against that authority or questions it. They trust their own personal experience and disregard other people’s experience. They scoff at the emotions and values of others while they allow themselves to have their own temper tantrums and emotional overreactions.

Healthy ESTJs: Healthy ESTJs are hard-working, trustworthy, and loyal. They see the world logically and push themselves to live up to a high standard. They don’t ask other people to do things they wouldn’t do themselves, and they uphold traditions they see as morally right and effective. They are intellectual, practical, and usually outgoing. They are very supportive of their communities and families and want to make the world a better place.

(Source)

#laineybot #infp #question #mbti

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stateofdisunion · 7 years ago

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Avatars Featured: West Virginia, Kentucky, and Virginia

The three sisters of my webcomic. Virginia is the oldest, Kentucky next, and then West Virginia. Kentucky and West Virginia are close, and neither get along well with Virginia (few get along well with Virginia as her autism can make her difficult to the other states to relate to if they don’t try. Sadly most states are either too selfish to try or Virginia has given them legitimate reasons to not want to try)

West Virginia is the smarter than many give her credit for being. Her “Hillbilly” reputation hides a very intelligent little state who reads (and understands) books as much as her older sister Virginia, and is often more capable of adapting what she has read to her advantage. She appreciates the tutoring she got from Virginia, but resents what she interpreted as her older sister being too greedy to let her go.

West Virginia’s biggest fault is she is fiercely independent. She spent so much time trying to prove she could be her own state, that now she often rejects any outsider help, even when she clearly needs it, and in fact, will vote against allowing Uncle to help her or anyone else as she sees reliance on others as a form of weakness. The only “charity” she accepts is when Kentucky buys her fancy clothes for the Kentucky Derby or her birthday, and that is because Kentucky successfully argued that it was her right as an older sister to spoil West Virginia upon occasion.

West Virginia’s self reliance also makes her extremely tough to go up against. This is great when applied to things the states want to happen. In fact, despite her looks as a small child, she can be one of the hardest states to fight during a war (although to their credit it is partially because she looks so young and older European provinces are reluctant to fight her). However, this trait is bad when applied against the states. For example she became notorious for her ability to get her moonshine around the country despite collective efforts that even overcame CEO on his Mob. However, West Virginia was always able to outsmart them. Everyone knew she was breaking the law, but no one could catch her.

West Virginia is not as racist as Kentucky or Virginia, and most of her racial issues stem from ignorance as both Kentucky and Virginia attempted to keep her from interacting with non-white states. She has realized her shortcomings and has begun to visit Delaware to try and shake of the terrible behavior she learned from her older sisters.

Kentucky is another very self reliant state; however, unlike her youngest sister, she is not as unwilling to ask for help if she needs it. However, asking for help is still seen as a last resort. Of the three sisters, Kentucky is the most conniving and the most self serving. Despite the Southern Belle Aristocratic airs she puts on, she is no lady and happy to go through the mud of she comes out ahead in a race. She had no qualms taking advantage of the Civil War to steal much of Virginia’s tobacco trade, often sides with whomever she thinks can help her the most.

This is why she sided with the North as she thought it was clear the South had no chance, despite her views being about as racist as South Carolina’s. She is in fact still likely to agree with him on social matters, only she hides it better as she knows being open with such opinions looses her economic opportunities and allies, and again, won’t risk her money.

Despite this economic ruthlessness and racism (ok those are really big issues and she is not a very likable character BUT), she is a very good older sister to West Virginia, and doesn’t just buy her things, but takes her to museums and another places that she doesn’t really enjoy, but knows her baby sister does. She also goes out of her way to visit Georgia, who she feels is cut off from “proper” lady friends. Georgia though (and many other states) find her somewhat condescending and hard to be around for long periods of time.

She did date South Carolina while her and Georgia were on the outs, but she broke up with him after a decade or because she could tell Georgia was still sweet on him and she felt awkward (and she got tired of him being bitter about the war).. She has also had some relations with Tennessee, but she prefers him as a friend and he prefers to peruse Arkansas. Tenn and her have been close friends since childhood, often exploring the wilderness together, and Tennessee thinks she is the only state other than Missouri who is his equal in backwoods living. She is almost as close to him as she is to West Virginia, and closer to him than she is to Virginia (in fact, as children they bonded over complaining about the “caretaker states and plotting to be free of them).

Virginia is a quiet, reserved state, preferring he books to other people. As mentioned above, she is on the Autistic spectrum, on the more functional end, but she still as problems because few states make any effort to accommodate her, in fact many just write her off as rude and stubborn. She finds it hard to talk to others because she can’t feign interest in a subject she doesn’t care about, and when she does care about something, she can go on well past the point another state is interested, so it makes it hard for her to have one on one conversations. She also hates being in groups of them because it usually gets very loud and very uncomfortable for her. So she spends most of her time at home reading and writing and making maps. She is not unhappy about spending most of her time alone,though, she just wishes people would understand it wasn’t done because she is rude and/or dislikes everyone.

She is very VERY book-smart. Possibly the smartest state in the Union; however, she is extreme trouble applying what she reads to situations when the situation begins to change. She clings to the comfortable patterns she knows and gets very angry when she feels people are trying to change what she perceives to be right. Virginia hates being asked to speak because she is well aware she is too blunt, but she cant’ figure out what she should say. When she write things down, she feels she is able to express her thoughts in ways that people find more pleasing because she can self correct against notes she has taken on “acceptable” phrasing.

Another problem she has is a near pathological fear of being poor because of the starving times and Jamestown and the cannibalism that occurred. This fear drives her to do just about anything to protect herself from being poor and fuels many terrible and illogical decisions that contradict beliefs she otherwise tries to hold do. For example her biggest objection to her sisters independence was a soul crushing fear that without their land, her people would be poor. She knows they hated her for it, but she couldn’t bring herself to let them go. This was also why she embraced slavery, despite it’s conflict with her own personal beliefs, and sided with the CSA. Mississippi, Alabama, and Delaware though do not forgive her anymore than they forgive South Carolina, especially given her huge a part she played in the CSA and the fact that well, she started it. Unlike South Carolina though, she is not proud of i and hates herself for it. However, unlike Georgia, she has made no attempt to apologize, and instead and tries to sweep it under the rug and pretend it was not a thing, which does not endear her to any state who suffered under it.

As far as relationships go, she had a *very* brief fling with Massachusetts during the Revolutionary War, (but she does consider herself straight, and Massachusetts- in a rare show of self restraint- lets it be). Most of the bridges with Massachusetts were burned during the Civil War, however they have begun to cautiously talk again. In fact, despite their extremely rocky history, Massachusetts is one of the few states, along with North Carolina who finally recognized Virginia’s autism and both sought Minnesota out on ways to interact with Virginia. So now a few times a month Massachusetts will come over to do nothing but quietly play chess. And North Carolina will come often to visit and listen to her talk about whatever book she has become infatuated with. This surprise Virginia, who thought North Carolina was still mad at her for how she treated him as a colony (relating to her fear of being poor, she did not take well to resource competition), but North Carolina has been over that for well over 200 years.

#State of Disunion #Webcomic #United States #State ocs #Virignia #West Virginia #Kentucky #character bios

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theunfamilliarmatter · 8 years ago

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Some Thoughts on Nesta’s and Feyre’s Relationship

I hate Nesta in ACOTAR and ACOMAF. After reading ACOWAR, I was still on a fence about her. In fact, I felt kinda uneasy when someone expresses his/her love towards her, cause I still couldn’t forgive Nesta for how she treated Feyre (she has layers, sure, but I still couldn’t not dislike her).

BUT, i’ve thought about her a lot these days and found that she really grew on me and I felt like I was wrong for refusing to see other parts of her. In this post, I am going to compile all the moments that changed my opinion on Nesta and her relationship with Feyre for the better.

Nesta is very proud, that much is clear. She also has the tendency to turn a blind eye towards something she didn’t like or she’s not affected by personally (more about this later on). I think, when it comes to Feyre, Nesta just wanted to reach out to her but doesn’t know how. Nesta also showed a great deal of respect towards her sister, and, sometimes, be inspired by her. Don’t you ever tell me that Nesta doesn’t love and care about Feyre as much as she does Elain. She just have a different dynamic with Feyre.

ACOTAR

1. When Feyre asked her to cut some woods or sth, Nesta refused. But, the next morning, Feyre found out that Nesta has cut some woods, anyway. This, to me, is the first inkling on Nesta’s internal conflict between her pride and vulnerability.

2. Nesta made a hurtful remark about Feyre’s “masterpieces”. I hated Nesta for using sth that meant a lot to her sister to, tho not deliberately, hurt her. However, let’s not forget that, the first time Feyre went back from the Spring Court, Nesta asked Feyre to TEACH her how to paint. This is important. I don’t think that Nesta had a particular interest in painting. I think that she was aware of the hurtful comment she directed at Feyre and wanted to let Feyre know that she didn’t mean it, that she didn’t actually belittle her skill. She wanted to let Feyre know that, in fact, she thought Feyre is good enough that she wanted to be taught by her.

3. Nesta went to the wall to look for Feyre. This is already a strong proof of Nesta’s quiet love for Feyre. However, this passage further confirmed it :

“What happened to Tomas Mandray?” I asked, the words strangled.

“I realized he wouldn’t have gone with me to save you from Prythian.”

Nesta never loved Tomas, I know, but at the beginning, she was very adamant about marrying him, even after Feyre told her over and over again to not marry him (cause Nesta hates feeling like a burden and she wanted to get out of the house and took care of herself). Anyway, one would think that her breaking up with Tomas isn’t about Feyre at all, that she was only doing it because she was worried that, comes a time when Elain needs help, Tomas wouldn’t help her. But, if that were the case, Nesta would not have broken up with Tomas right then and there. She would have just went back, and broke up with Tomas only when he wouldn’t help Elain. However, what actually happened next showed that Feyre meant as much to her as Elain.

4. Nesta talked to Feyre about her complete disappointment towards their father, she said,

“He let her die. You would have gone to the ends of the earth to save your High Lord.”

I always have a feeling that Nesta understood Feyre more than she let on ; this quote is one of the inklings that I got.

5. “What do you think you can even do to help? He’s a High Lord—you’re just a human.” That wasn’t an insult, either. A question from a coolly calculating mind.

This is how Nesta showed her concern. She did the same thing in ACOWAR.

6. “But Nesta held my gaze. Unflinching.”

…

“Prythian!” my father and Elain blurted. But Nesta held up a hand to silence them.

…

My sister helped me, then opened the wardrobe to pull out a heavy tunic and pants and boots. I slipped into them and was braiding back my hair when she said, “We don’t need you here, Feyre. Do not look back.”

What this whole scene showed me is that Nesta respected Feyre and has always been aware of her strength. Instead of holding Feyre back, she let her do what she wanted. The same thing happened in ACOWAR, when Feyre went to find the Suriel and Nesta didn’t tell anyone about it. She respected Feyre’s need to go unnoticed and she believe that Feyre really could do what she wanted to do.

This scene also showed that Nesta truly wanted to be there for her sister in her own way.

8. “Try to send word once it’s safe. And if it ever is … Father and Elain can have this place. I think I’d like to see what else is out there, what a woman might do with a fortune and a good name.”

Don’t ever tell me that Nesta didn’t care about Feyre. She was worried about Feyre, but she didn’t want to prevent Feyre from experiencing more than what their little village could offer.

9. Another detail i’d like to point out is that Nesta hired a mercenary to take her to the wall “With the money from [Feyre’s] pelt.” Before this, I thought that she just spent all the money Feyre gave her, but she actually saved them and used them to get to Feyre.

10. This one we all already know, but I’ll include it anyway.

“…If he would actually go out and fight for us. I couldn’t take care of us, not the way you did. I hated you for that. But I hated him more.”

ACOMAF

There wasn’t a lot of details about them in this book. However, I found one it the short story from the Target Edition.

“How is my sister?”

…

“Busy”

…

“So busy she cannot deign to visit, it seems”

This was the first thing she asks Cassian. Again, don’t you tell me Nesta didn’t care about Feyre or that she wanted nothing to do with her.

ACOWAR

1. Remember in ACOMAF when Feyre didn’t look comfortable with eating human food and Nesta made a curt comment about it? In Acowar, during dinner, Nesta said to Feyre that she know understood what she meant by food tasting differently. I see it as Nesta’s way of apologizing.

2. Of course, the scene in the library where Feyre asked Nesta why she pushed everyone away except Elain. Then Nesta closed her eyes and took a deep breath before starting to answer Feyre (THEN OF COURSE IT GOT INTERRUPTED). Nesta closing her eyes and breathing deeply before answering means sth to me. it tells me that she also hates how badly she has been treating Feyre. I NEED TO KNOW WHY. NOW.

Also, Nesta told Feyre how she didn’t know that Feyre really couldn’t read, “I thought you could read as well as we do”. She neglected Feyre during her hunting years, now she found out that she had no idea Feyre couldn’t read. I saw this as Nesta being upset for failing her sister again.

3. Before Feyre and the rest of the Night Court when to the Summer Court to fight with them, Nesta asked, “What do you know of battle?“.

4. That time when Nesta said to Feyre, “You look beautiful” before they went to the meeting with the High Lords. I love her ease in the way she conveyed it. Slowly, guys. She’s reaching out.

Nesta was so riled up when Feyre asked her to talk to the HIgh Lords about what happened to her. However, in the end, she decided to brace herself and talk about her story because she didn’t wanna be remembered as a coward.

Nesta said : “It was some distant thing, war. Battle. It…it’s not anymore. i will help…if I can”

Then she also said : “You went off to battle for a court you barely know-who barely see you as friends…And when I asked you why…you said because it was the right thing”

Earlier, when I said Nesta has the tendency to turn a blind eye towards something she didn’t like or she’s not affected by personally, this is what I mean (Also, tho I can’t find the passage in the book, I swear Nesta said sth along the lines of “Isn’t there someone who could do it for me?”. I forgot what the conversation was about tho. You can even blame this side of her for neglecting Feyre all these years). Now that she’s in the midst of war, she decided to be involved and Feyre is the one that inspired her greatly to finally open up herself and be braver.

6. At the meeting with the High Lords.

“To be close to the Walls-and human lands”

At this, Nesta and I exchanged looks

Idk what else to say about this. it was just a nice moment worth mentioning.

7. “But beneath the wall, I witnessed children-entire families-starve to death”

She jerked her chin at me. “Were it not for my sister… I would be among them”

This is soooooo important. Nesta didn’t sweep Feyre’s sacrifices under the rug, okay? Again, she just didn’t know to to show Feyre how grateful she was.

8. Nesta told Feyre about her “cost” of being a fae : seeinng Elain suffered while she went unscathed. Also, she told Feyre she couldn’t get into bathtubs anymore because it triggered her memory. This was after Feyre to her about her fear of close spaces. Feyre has become someone Nesta could really confide in and I love that.

9. The night Elain got kidnapped. Feyre rushed out of the tent to look for Nesta.

“…she was already there, hurrying for me..”

It was Feyre she ran to first when she sensed that sth is wrong.

10. When Az, Feyre, Elain, and Briar arrived safely at the camp, Nesta SPRINTED towards Feyre FIRST, hugged her, and said “Thank you”.

11. DON’T FORGET THE ARCHERON SISTERS CUDDLE.

SO, GUYS. I do believe that Nesta loves, cares, respects Feyre and she has been trying to reach out to her and be there for her in her own way. This is really an interesting dynamic and I’m excited for what’s in store for them in the next book.

I would like to reiterate that I hate the spiteful side of Nesta. When her father lost his fortune and couldn’t (or wouldn’t) take care of them, and after she and Elain was turned into Faes. I get that, especially the whole fae thing, it was a freaking difficult thing to deal with, but she was still awful to everyone. So, I am very aware of the terrible things she’s said and done. I don;t think she’s a saint or anything, but I want to see her redeem herself. I don’t even expect her to literally apologize to Feyre (that would be such a DRASTIC change), but I am hoping for more moments like these.

On a side note, I think Nesta’s dynamic with Elain has its flaws as well. I’m still not sure about this, and some of you might disagree. I feel like Nesta sees Elain as some fragile little flower. Her protectiveness towards Elain feels a bit much to me. She didn’t include Elain in the matter about Prythian in ACOMAF (In the short story with Cassian, we know that Nesta doesn’t want Elain to be involved). There are other details as well but I can’t remember now. Anyway, again, we’ll see what happens in the next book.

Overall, I can see how their relationship is taking shape now. I expect Nesta to continue to be very doting, gentle, and protective towards Elain. However, I think Feyre is gonna be the one that she confides it the most, that understands her better, that inspired her the most.

Tell me what you think. I would love to talk more about their relationship.

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ithinkimanindieblog · 8 years ago

Text

Dear Aunt Carress- a letter not sent

Dear Aunt Carress,

I am writing to you today because I wish for you to understand me and my thoughts about past events. My intent is not to offend you but to help you and allow you to recognize and grow as a person. You tell me proudly how you have had to start, run, and operate your business alone. Although, this is no easy feat and should be congratulated with pride and praise it is easy to understand why no one has offered you help in your endeavor. It is easy to understand why you are alone.

I know things that I shouldn’t know about you and now you know things that you shouldn’t know about me but the difference between our knowledge is that not once have I attempted to use what I know against you. You have shown me that you are not afraid to do the opposite and thus it is the reason why you should not have known in the first place. I knew you would use it against me.

I know your true feelings about me, my father, and my brother. You dislike me for reasons that are made very clear. You dislike my tone, opinions, feelings, and simply I believe you dislike me as a person. You have said horrible things to me in the past. Things I still think about to this day. I was very young when you said them to me and I don’t expect you to even know what I am talking about. But your words hurt me, Aunt Carress and they still do.

One of my flaws is that I take things very personally. Many of your actions and words towards me have offended me and I have had to swallow my pride and bite my tongue however, another one of my flaws is not being able to bite my tongue. I cannot allow you to insult me or my family. It is my pride that doesn’t allow me to listen to your attempt at parenting me, your attempts to insult me, and your attempts to control me and put me down. I am stronger than my mother and stronger willed that my brother and father. I will admit to being a disrespectful, confrontational, and unstable woman. I apologize for my tone but not for the things I said. I will not apologize for truth, a concept you have trouble grasping.

I never once called my mom a liar, though your memory my serve you differently. I believe that you wanted to believe that I called my mom a liar so you could further prove my disrespectfulness. I believe that when someone thinks they are telling the truth that they are not actually lying as my mother did. Though, with you it is different. I believe you have told many lies to yourself and believed them; that is why you thought your son was present when he was not. You wanted another witness and you told yourself there was. You can ask him. He was not there.

I had made my own decision to go downstairs. You marched in front me, telling me to do so as if I was your own child. I am not. You are not my mother and you cannot dictate me as you do your son. It was not your decision for me to go downstairs; it was my own.

You wanted to sweep everything under the rug in the morning. You wanted to make everything better. I can understand that. I can also pick apart your lies easier than you think. I have this ability to a fault and am not afraid to confront those who lie to me. You are not a good person, Aunt Carress, I can see that now. You think you know how to make things better because you’ve done it before. You’ve made these apologies before. You have hurt other people. I am not the only one. But you can’t fool me as easily as you can other people or as those people let you believe. I want truth and bring me bullshit.

When I came to you in the morning, I had already made the decision to leave. I wanted to apologize for my own actions. I accepted my faults and told you that I still needed to work on them. I told you that you were hostile and you questioned me. How could you not see that you hurt me? How could you not remember what you said or think that what you said was ok? How could you think that you were anything but hostile? A person who is good sees error in their ways when error has occurred. This allows me to conclude that you are not a good person.

When we sat down, my mother, father, you, and I, you started with an apology that went something like this “I apologize if I hurt anyone’s feelings last night.” There are many things that tell me that this apology is fake and its faker than the one I heard later. You said “if”. You said it as if a child were apologizing for teasing someone. “If” like you had no idea if anyone’s feelings were hurt. There’s the other word: “anyone”. Like you had no idea who you hurt. I’d rather you have said nothing. In that apology, you hurt me again.

We continued to talk and my father said that one of his worst flaws is yelling. It is very true and he wasn’t right to yell at you. He does it when he feels as though he is not being heard or understood. He has made me cry many times because of it. My brother told me that he’s hidden under the bed when he was little. It is a flaw that he has improved upon however, he doesn’t do it like he used to and he certainly doesn’t do it to me anymore. In the same conversation my mother admitted to her alcoholism. It is one of her worst flaws. She has her ups and downs with it but she wants to overcome. When we got home she poured the rest of the wine down the drain. She knows her flaws and is making the effort to change. I told you directly that I am confrontational. There is hardly a filter between my brain and my mouth and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. It is hurt my mother. It has hurt my father. My father tells me often that sometimes I need to suck it up say “ok” and seethe inside my head. I wish to get better and not burn my bridges. There was then a change in the conversation when asked about your own flaws. I told you about the things you’ve said to me, about you being awful and mean. I was trying to get you to see what everyone else can. That you are mean. It is simple. All you had to do was agree and also wish to change but you instead tried to convince everyone in the room that no such flaw existed. There was nothing to work on.

You began apologizing to me a second time. You talked about how you were sorry for your actions last night. It proved to me that you were not listening. I wanted you to say that you were sorry for being so mean to me all those times. But no. Even the apology for last night sounded fake. I could tell from the sound of your voice that was not from your heart. You didn’t even look at me when you said it. I could tell from your earlier words to me that you didn’t care. I wanted to hear that you would change. I at least wanted to hear the truth.

You told me to leave even though I was already leaving. you wanted the satisfaction of telling me to leave, like you had control over the situation but You cried because your bullshit doesn’t work on me. I was in control of that decision and you were so caught up in your own bullshit that you couldn’t see that. Even my parents could see that. They gave me room to talk.

I shouldn’t have made my forgiveness conditional. I was wrong to do that. For that I am sorry. It should’ve be about you agreeing to change and not waiting for you to do it. But the outcome is the same. Your apology was disingenuous and I do not forgive you.

You have done very generous things, Aunt Carress. You have opened up your home to me and my family, cooked amazing things, and been very selfless. I’ve seen you give hundred dollar bills to people working on Christmas. You’d like me to say that I know you have a big heart. That may be true and the younger me believed that to be so. But would you like to know what I see now? I see someone with a guilty conscience. Not unlike how a criminal begins to give to charity after they’ve done time in jail. I think that you believe somehow by putting on this façade of graciousness and selflessness that it will make all the bad things you’ve done go away. You inviting me on this ski trip was part of your façade but your true nature came out, has already come out in fact. You should learn that we don’t have to be friends just because we are family. You should not have invited me and I should not have agreed to come.

It is simple to me why you and I should cease communication. Reasons why we cannot be friends. I want truth, Aunt Carress, and you give me bullshit. Your olive branches are laden with thorns. Your pomegranates are held between a serpent’s fangs. Your words are like oil- smooth and slick but waiting for but only a spark.

Do not speak to me ever again lest fire breaks out.

-Sarah

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