#i just discovered this website actually it has a lot of nice stuff about their albums! look it up if you’re curious

[soapcan18]

Thought I’d share these for anyone who hasn’t seen them :) They’re the official descriptions for each of the Anemoi albums on The Oh Hellos’ website!

Notos

Notos, the first installment in an ongoing series, is named for the ancient Greco-Roman god of the south wind, who brought storms in the summer. Musically, the record draws from the siblings' memories of summers spent exploring the Pacific Northwest with their grandparents, as well as their experiences with the frequent threat of hurricanes as they grew up on the Texas Gulf Coast. Thematically, the series considers the question: "where did our ideas come from?" Notos recounts a time when the duo weren't even aware there was a question to ask, and reflects on the backfire effect we experience when confronted with new information for the first time.

Eurus

Once that first question posed in the Notos EP is asked — "where did my ideas come from?" — it opens the floodgates to more. While wrestling with them all can ultimately lead to a fuller understanding of the world around you (and leave you with more empathy than you started with), it can also leave you feeling alienated from the communities you used to identify with. Eurus, released in early 2018 as the second installment in a series, is a continued interrogation of our own beliefs, and as Eurus was the wind most closely associated with autumn, the record seeks to capture the feelings of dark woods, dry branches, dead leaves, and wondering who had migrated — you, or your flock?

Boreas

Boreas, the northern wind, ushered in the harsh frosts of lonely winter. The arrangements of this third installment evoke images of snow-blanketed darkness, candlelight behind cupped hands, and a vast night sky ribboned with stars and auroras. As we wrote these songs, we found ourselves confronted with the ways we’ve personally and communally reflected the character of this wind — how we often avoid discomfort, even at the expense of others, until we are left cold, hard, and unfeeling. In this record, we ask the winter to instead kindle us into something warmer and softer than who we’ve been.

Zephyrus

The series concludes. Zephyrus, the final cardinal wind of this project, brought the gentle warmth of spring that summoned up a new year of growth rooted in the fertile ashes of all the structures that keep us isolated and unfeeling — the kind of growth we can see in ourselves, if we can muster the courage to be vulnerable. The arrangements mirror and embrace this shift, rising up like tender leaves breaking through concrete and cascading down like mountain rivers surging with the first thaw of the season. It’s been a long year; thanks for listening.

[yuri-is-online]

A Pocket Full of Posies and WTF is up with Rollo's Hankie

Before we begin, a slight disclaimer: yes, Medieval beliefs about disease and how it spread were weird. They did not have the ability to know about germs because those are literally microscopic and germ theory would not be "discovered" until the 1860s. THIS DID NOT MEAN THEY WERE STUPID AND IF I SEE YOU SAYING THAT WE WILL FIGHT. Anyway-

If you have been kicking around on the internet for a bit, chances are you might have heard the "dark history" fact that that the "Ring Around the Rosey" nursery rhyme is about the Black Plague. That's probably not true but the reason it was originally theorized to be the case has to do with Miasma theory, and the use of strong scents (typically herbs and flowers) to ward off the "bad air." What does this have to do with Rollo huffing that handkerchief every time someone talks about magic? Well we'll get there but first just what the hell do I mean by bad air?

Miasma Theory in Practice

The Black Death/Bubonic Plague was a roving pandemic that gets it's name from the first wave that bitch slapped Europe from 1347-1351. There were technically three forms of plague kicking around by I am not a scientist and we are here to talk about that. Given that this was, as stated in the disclaimer, pre-germ theory the ideas people had about why this was happening and how to prevent it wildly varied, but Miasma Theory was so popular it actually stuck around long enough to duke it out with Germ Theory when scientists started talking about that.

The basic idea is that diseases like the Black Death were spread from bad smelling air. This theory was proposed by Hippocrates, as in that guy from third or fourth century Greece we aren't even sure existed, but it was a pretty universal belief, we have sources from Ancient China that also reference the idea that bad smells can make you sick. This "bad air" was thought to come from decay; in the case of the plague, dead bodies were believed to have released it (hence all the "bring out your dead" stuff), as were cracks in the earth, and sewage. ALL AIR WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE A LEVEL OF MIASMA, but smell was the best way to tell if you were in danger of getting sick; basically if it smells like shit out then you are in danger because there is only so much of it you can breathe in before you get sick. So when you end 1351 with 40% (that we can confirm!) of the population dead, how exactly do you keep yourself from huffing in all that invisible miasma?

Roi du Mouchoir

Well you make the air you breathe smell nicer of course! And this is where we get to Rollo's hankie.

The "posies" in that nursery rhyme doesn't actually refer to one specific flower. It's a type of small bouquet, which apparently are also called nosegays or tussie-mussies? It's also the technical term for those tiny groups of flowers that make up a corsage. The idea was that people would carry around things that smelled good, like flowers and herbs, and any time you smelled something bad you would bring the flower out of your pocket and hold it up to your nose just like Rollo does with his handkerchief. Literally, people usually kept those nice smelling flowers in "Plague Bags," which could refer to nicely sewn sachets or just neatly wrapped up in cloth. Eventually these got super fancy, and evolved into these really elaborate pouches people put potpourri in, but given how strict Rollo seems to be with himself (and everyone else) I've chosen in my own fan fic to interpret his posies as being the common kind, which would be rosemary and lavender. Today they are thought of as being soothing scents that calm you down, and that does seem to be what he is trying to do with all those deep breaths.

I got a lot of this specific information from this article here which is on a wonderful website curated by a professional perfumer I highly recommend poking around if you are interested in learning more.

Cool Story But?

"Sure Yuri, all of that is neat but isn't Rollo's handkerchief a reference to Esmeralda's scarf?" Yeah probably. I don't really think it has to be that deep, but I do think this stuff is cool and well-

Malleus's name is likely a reference to the Malleus Malificarum, a book I have a PDF of on my computer because of course I do that was published around the same time that this theory of disease would have been kicking around. It's about- well the author says it's about "witchcraft" but that's another paper for another time, and why they are super evil and bad and should all die. Specifically why they should all be burned at the stake, it's a fun read. And sounding oddly familiar to certain events...

That's all to say, sure it probably isn't that deep but with all the other really well researched and designed character choices, I would not be surprised if it was.

Semi Unrelated Fun Facts:

Bridal Bouquets are thought to have started, in part, as a way to ward off Miasma and keep the bride healthy on her wedding day.

Miasma theory was still super popular in the Victorian Era and lead to a lot of public clean up projects as people thought that they could get rid of disease if they got rid of all the sewage everywhere. And hey they were right, just not for the reason they thought they were.

Yes a lot of people thought the Black Plague was a punishment from God and a sign of the end times. I will remind you that 40-60% of Europe's population DIED IN FOUR YEARS. I'd assume something supernatural was out to get me too tf? Seriously these people were not stupid, they just lived in interesting times.

If you are wondering "hey I heard Plague Doctors stuffed herbs in the long beaks on their masks, is this why?" Yeah it is! Gold star!

I love you for making this far, thank you for listening to me friend and I hope to get back to entertaining you soon (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡

[stagehunt]

AUTHOR PORTRAIT ...

get to know the author behind the blog! repost, don't reblog.

Basics

NAME:        vos AGE:         23 PRONOUNS:         they/them YEARS OF WRITING:          that  definitely  depends  on  what  you  classify  as  writing  but  i  discovered  rp  as  a  concept  in  2010  which  was  probably  just  a  bit  after  i  got  into  writing  little  short  stories  and  things  as  a  kid.  i  was  writing  them  by  hand  in  a  little  notepad  that  somebody  in  my  family  handed  over  to  a  school  teacher,  extremely  mortifying  ordeal  to  me  at  the  time  lmfao       

Reflection

WHY DID YOU PICK UP WRITING?           i’m  pretty  sure  i  first  started  by  writing  shitty  warrior  cats  fanfics  actually,   and  i  didn’t  know  that  fics  or  fandom  in  general  was  even  a  thing  at  the  time  so  u  could  say  i  was  destined  for  this  sort  of  brainrot   fgdjkh   little  nine  year  old  me  also  encountered  rp  for  the  first  time  by  searching  for  warrior  cats  flash  games   (i guess??  idk  what  i  actually  thought  i’d  find)   and  instead  wound  up  on  some  random  webpage  with  a  chatbox.  moved  on  from  there  to  writing  awful,  horrible   (but  very  fun)   naruto  oc’s  on  a  website  that  i  think  was  called  chatango  some  years  later,   dabbled  a  little  on  imvu,   and  started  writing  on  tumblr  around  2015  iirc

DO YOU HAVE ANY WRITING ROUTINES?          i  wouldn’t  say  so?  sometimes  i’ll  listen  to  like…  instrumental  interludes  from  certain  albums  or  smth  that  i  won’t  enjoy  too  much  because  i  find  music  very  distracting,   not  just  for  writing  but  in  general,   and  sitting  in  silence  is  a  weird  feeling  to  me  too.  when  it  comes  to  other  things  i  need  a  podcast  or  video  essay  or  something  similar  to  be  at  all  productive  but  it’s  hard  to  focus  on  writing  with  someone  yapping  in  your  ear.  i  used  to  save  writing  for  nights even  when  i  have  free  time  throughout  the  day,   because  i  tend  to  feel  bad  about  sitting  at  a  computer  screen  all  day,   but  with  my  activity  in  its  current  state  i  have  to  sit  down  and  get  it  out  the  moment  inspiration  and  energy  align  themselves  for  me.    

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WRITING?         sorry  to  steal  your  answer  but  i  def  have  to  agree  with  what  layla  said  re  the  community  aspect  of  rp  actually.  it’s  so  nice  to  be  able  to  just  click  with  someone  over  a  shared   (sometimes  niche)   interest  and  love  for  certain  medias/characters/dynamics/genres  etc.  the  feeling  of  finding  someone  who  shares  your  vision.  and  also  stemming  from  the  same  thing,   i’ve  always  felt  that  my  favorite  and  most  “solid”  muses  are  the  ones  that  i’ve  gotten  the  chance  to  develop  alongside  another  through  plotting.  love  shared  canon,  love  affiliated  oc’s,  love  group  verses.  allllll  that  good  stuff.  

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING.         gonna  break  the  format  we’re  following  here  because  i  have  to  ramble  and  idk  how  to  break  all  this  into  three  titles,     so  obviously  being  succinct  isn’t  one  of  the  answers  here   kfdjghd

i  always  try  to  capture  a  different  flow  and  style   (???)   of  prose  depending  on  who  i’m  writing,   and  i’m  never  sure  if  that  really  comes  through  for  others  or  if  i  just  seem  inconsistent,   but  whenever  i  look  back  at  old  blogs  i  can  see  it  for  myself  and  that  at  least  keeps  me  content   :)   i  want  to  read  my  writing  back  and  feel  that  it  has  character  outside  of  just  the  spoken  dialogue.

i  like  to  spend  a  lot  of  time  with  a  piece  of  writing,   which  realistically  is  not  to  my  benefit  in  terms  of  activity,   but  i  do  just  really  enjoy  drafting  and  redrafting,   rearranging,   nitpicking  at  everything  until  it’s  as  close  to  being  what  i  want  to  be  as  i  can  get  it.  so  that’s  more  about  the  writing  process  than  the  writing  itself,   but  i  think  it’s  still  important  to  allow  myself  to  have  fun  with  it  fkjghd

pulling  a  blank  on  a  third  thing  bc  this  is  actually  a  really  difficult  question  but  i’ll  come  back  and  edit  it  later  if  something  pops  into  my  head  kfjgdh

A question for the next person

HAVE YOU MADE ANY STRONG  CONNECTIONS  /  FRIENDS DURING YOUR TIME WRITING?          for  sure.  one  of  my  dearest  friends  in  this  world  is  not  a  writer  but  someone  who  i  met  as  a  mutual  friend  of  my  first  rp  partner.  i’m  not  really  in  touch  with  that  person  who  introduced  us  anymore  but  i  simply  couldn’t  live  without  my  bestie  and  i  consider  writing  the  only  reason  we  really  met and she gets to kinda "beta" some of the things i do write   dfkgjhd   i’ve  also  traveled  to  the  states  a  couple  of  times  in  my  teens  to  meet  a  rp  buddy  who  i’ve  known  since  i  was  around   ,,   twelve  or  so  i  believe.  

wouldn’t  be  right  not  to  shout  out  @ohchosen  here  either  because  i  was  very  close  to  leaving  tumblr   (and  also  probably  rp)   for  good  when  we  became  friends,   and  writing/plotting  tmkz  together  has  been  one  of  the  best  experiences  i’ve  ever  had  on  this  website,   where  friends  and  mutuals  tend  to  come  and  go.  you  never  did.  you’re  probs  the  funniest  person  i’ve  ever  spoken  to,   craft  the  most  beautifully  written  responses  imaginable,   you  put  a  world  of  effort  into  developing  your  muses  and  you  let  me  derail  every  single  one  of  conversations  to  talk  about  music  instead   gfjhdg   sorry  i’m  so  mean  to  you.  ily  a  lot.

there’s  also  a  handful  of  mutuals  who  i  don’t  necessarily  talk  or  interact  with  very  much  anymore  but  have  been  around  for  years  at  this  point  and  i  have  fond  memories  with  too.  always  so  so  so  glad  to  see  you  pop  up  on  the  dash,  it  makes  me  smile  every  time  so  i’ll  use  this  as  an  opportunity  to  wave  at  you, you know who you are    <3

NEW QUESTION: where  do  you  draw  the  most  inspiration  from  when  writing?  music,   other  medias,   ur  fave  author,  a  dream  you  once  had  etc.

tagged by @oneireth tysm <3 tagging val take my love letter as ur tag, also hi @heliador @loetise @tiderider @yeonban @pearlcure @deathsmaidens @sungracd !!!!!

[frecklystars]

I need some advice, if anyone is willing 🙏✨

I purchased a La La Land screenplay from someone on Etsy, apparently signed by Ryan and Emma for an extremely affordable price. I thought "oh, there is NO WAY in HELL these are real." and then I agonized over it for a few weeks because my god I need some serotonin, and I have a little bit of spending money left, and I WOULD like a La La Land screenplay, bonus points if it really is signed by Ryan and Emma.

Finally, I bought one, reading on the seller's page that they do full refunds/returns within 14 days of the delivery. So I had nothing to lose if I ended up discovering the autographs were fake, I could just send it back and get my full refund. No shipping fees either.

Screenplay got delivered. So gorgeous, everything looks all nice and official, got a Certificate of Authenticity with matching serial numbers. I had high hopes, at first. The sharpie Ryan and Emma supposedly signed with have bled through the page, so it cannot be a reprint. But I did some research on the "Certificate of Authenticity" and it is probably fabricated. I am 99% sure. Someone could easily fake this certificate, slap on some holographic stickers they made themself, and then mimic Ryan and Emma's signatures using their own sharpies.

It says it was certified by 8FL*X institute (the * is an "i" -- I won't type the name out fully because I'm afraid it'll show up in the tumblr search results, and this guy apparently has a tumblr with a shit ton of "receipts" on him. but more on that later) and - guess what - that is not an actual institute run by multiple people. That is a website run by one (1) dude -- the very dude who sold this to me on Etsy. On the certificate, it's HIS name that is signed saying it's official. Did he witness Ryan and Emma signing this?? I have no clue. How would I know that. I don't know how this stuff works tbh but I'm pretty sure it's not real, seeing someone selling *multiple* signed scripts for just $61 each, with a lot of A list celebrities.

The holographic stickers and serial numbers seem legit, but there is no way for me to search them online to check if they're authentic. It's as if he basically said "yep these signatures are real" and signed the certificate himself. Also, if you search "8fl*x nick" on tumblr, there's a whole ton of discourse??? because he apparently leaked a screenplay for Stranger Things when he wasn't supposed to, or something??? Listen. Listen. I fucking HATE mob mentality on this hellsite; any time there's a call out post about someone, I take that shit with a grain of salt, because you don't know what's real or not, whether or not the "sources" of someone's wrongdoings are completely fabricated screenshots or not, because it's SO easy to make fake screenshots these days. but I still think it's worth mentioning here that there are existing "receipts" on this guy, bc knowing there's discourse abt this seller just in general... doesn't help me feel reassured whatsoever.

If anyone is able to figure out a way that these signatures are legit btw, that would be great. but like I said, I don't know anything about buying online autographs. Maybe there's something I can do to verify, and I just don't know it.

Anyway I debated on whether or not I should keep the screenplay, decided in the heat of a moment "ah fuck it, I wasted money", I contacted the seller and didn't mention why, I just asked for a refund without any explanation -- to my surprise, have had no trouble! He's totally willing to give me a refund without any question. Huge relief. So if I am willing, I can get a full refund and send this most-likely-not-actually-autographed screenplay back.

Except. Now... I keep thinking about it... do I actually want to give it back? I mean yes it is the smart thing to get my money back but... here's the thing. I don't own a La La Land screenplay - like, physically in my hands. I love collecting screenplays. There's a La La Land screenplay for sale online for ten bucks, but it's not the one I want, and I'm not very fond of the cover for it... I can't find another La La Land screenplay anywhere online that's as pretty as this one. There's the 2013 original version and there's the 2015 final draft version, both are really fucking good and totally different. Lots of good content. This seller put together the 2015 version, and the colors look so nice, there's photos in the front when you open it up before you get to the signed page, it's just... it's so pretty. The signatures are pretty, even if they are most likely not real, it's kind of fun to just... hope blindly that maybe, just maybe, they're real. 99% sure that they're not -- but that 1% chance is nice to think about!

So, my question: is it smarter for me to get my full refund and just settle for not owning a La La Land screenplay? Or should I keep this, despite every time I look at the signatures I feel a pang of disappointment and think to myself "ah man that's not real and I spent sixty bucks on it" ??? OR... or. or. should I return this screenplay, get my refund, and then... just .... print the screenplay myself... and make my own very pretty screenplay???

If I go that third route -- HOW do I potentially print out the entire screenplay myself? If I knew how, I could include pictures of Ryan and Emma and just put together my OWN La La Land screenplay. Oh, hell, why stop there?? Why not replace Mia's name with mine, make a whole self ship script out of it, put my own story with Sebastian? Add some drawings?? Make it look like a real screenplay. That would be such a fun project.

But... I don't own a printer and I don't know if it would cost fifty bajillion hundred thousand dollars to go to a printing shop and ask them to print up a hundred pages for me. Or... is that too big of a project to take on? Am I just being silly? ;-;

ok thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. I love u.

[nevermoredragon-main]

HI omg okay. okay. i have just. discovered your blog. because i needed i NEEDED. itafushijun content. (ive been brainrotting them so hard im like 4k words into a fanfic about them that i need to post.) im not ever active on this website. but i appreciate u carrying the ship on your back so hard. thank you i owe you my LIFE.

also i do need to say. since i don't know where else to say this. i think itafushino is a better ship name for them. junpei's family name (yoshino!) fits do perfectly in with them idk why we've gone with itafushijun. i know it probably wasn't your decision but i needed to say that somewhere. anyway bye thank you for the food im in love with you(r posts)

Hello!!! Hi! I'm very glad that you found my stuff! Like, immediate dopamine to my brain actually, which is important due to having stress about finals lol.

Send the fic when it's done! That's really exciting to me because as of current there is not a lot. (In a YouTuber about to do a sponsor voice) you know, I also wrote a fic. It's sad and angsty but it was that kind of week, if you catch my drift.

I need more people to brainrot about on this ship with so maybe if you wanna tell me a way to talk to you in tumblr messaging since you aren't active here (but no pressure if that makes you uncomfy) that would be nice.

Also, you are right. When I first got into the ship/anime last year I just searched random combinations of names until I got some stuff for it. On here there was one post from a manga analysis blog that I follow that I think has since been buried by my stuff (they also reblogged an interesting meta post about how megumi and junpei are narrative foils despite never interacting, which is also nice, though not explicitly a ship post).

Anyway, thank you for your kind words and have fun itafushijunning! This summer after my finals are finished I hope to make more as well! ❤️

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

hi it's 'trans rights' anon, sorry for being cagey i just enjoy your thoughts and didn't want to engage if you turned out to be a terf. Sorry for being weird! I love reading your long ass posts tearing tswift limb from literary limb

Hello again! No worries- I had just worried if it was something I said that made you feel uncomfortable, or that maybe it was something in my bio that felt off. So I tried to explain anything that might have been the cause.

I don't know how to internet- I'll be honest I never use social media and I've only been talking on this blog for like a few months. So, sometimes I worry that I will be misinterpreted- It's happened a few times already so. Anyway- I don't stand for any kind of discriminatory practices.

In my real-life activism- I consider myself a bit of a radical really because I've been working in organizations helping to protect LGBT rights down here in the American South since I was in High School.

So, I really just don't fuck around about wanting everyone to be safe and able to fully express themselves in whichever manner they see fit. So- don't worry about wanting to double check. I'm super into feminism and navigating feminism on this website has been a bit of challenge - because sometimes I think people are really far left, and down with intersectional feminism, and then I discover they have really regressive views on gender. I do not understand it????????????

Anyway, hopefully my response was reassuring enough?

But I'm glad to hear you enjoy my literary criticisms of Taylor Swift. It's actually brought some joy back into my life. Before I started doing this, I was really burnt out on writing. I hadn't written anything for months!

I was legitimately considering a career change- but I think I just need to rediscover the joy of literary criticism. Doing critique of Taylor Swift has been the best form of low-stakes exploration, and it's just so nice to remove the pressure I put on myself to do the best work possible for my job. I feel like here I can relax I little bit and maybe just chat about stuff I notice in her work. It's been helping a lot with the burn out issue.

I might branch out into some other musicians too- just for fun. I would like to talk about some artists I actually love too like Hozier or Joy Oladokun. Or ramble about some poets I love- like Mary Oliver. I could write a dissertation on her work alone- and still be singing praises after the fact.

okay done rambling now <3 bye

[theimaginatrix27]

So it's been a year since I began delving into Star Trek fandom properly

It's officially my birthday in my timezone! This time last year, I was gushing on the server @kintatsujo made for our circle of mutual friends about the best/most well-thought-out part of my Star Trek AU, now dubbed Galactic Warp, after its most important advancement. In a few weeks, it will be the one-year anniversary of my joining the Trek server where I would make all the friends I have in that fandom (particularly gonna shout out @roguetelepaths, who you may have noticed I've been reblogging a lot of posts from of late).

A lot has happened over the past year on that front, if I'll be quite honest. I've posted eight! fanfics for DS9 (holy shit), bringing my number of works on AO3 up into the double-digits and totalling about 140 thousand words! And there are many more to come, I assure you—the plot bunnies living in my brain evolved into tribbles and started churning out ideas for this fandom and these characters, as if making up for lost time.

I hit a lot of milestones this year (remembers the name of the first Trekfic I posted and laughs). Let's see if I can remember them all! :D

I discovered I can write Sci-fi, actually! Honestly I'm looking back at my confident assurance of the exact opposite of this and laughing, because I have proven that claim false in several ways over the past year. (See my Threshold fics for the most obvious example). But like. Also. The backdrop of one of my original series is kind of a Sci-fi setting, so I've been doing this for a while. Yeah, Kinta, laugh it up, you were right and I was very silly.

I can write Star Trek fanfics, actually, and if I mess up on anything, nobody's gonna care! I was so scared I'd embarrass myself in front of a fandom I found very intimidating, but so far, everyone's been so welcoming and people like what I've put out there! They really like it! I'm honestly humbled and grateful for all my lovely readers who have said such nice things to me in fic comments, and in private on Discord. You're all wonderful! But critically, I did make a mistake, and nobody gave a single, solitary shit. The story's an AU anyway, and people have been enjoying it, and I was worried for eleven years over nothing. You won't believe what that does for a lady's confidence.

I've learned some stuff about my own personal writing process, which is a big step forward! I've been taking in writing advice for as long as I've been fully online. I've listened to writer after writer tell me how they work, how they do things, and I've tried plenty of it myself, but to no avail. Earlier this year, I ran out of words to paste into 4TheWords, a website I'd joined several years ago because I liked its premise (turning writing into a game, where you could defeat monsters with words you wrote). I hadn't written on it live before, due to copy/paste issues I was able to resolve (the font in the site editor is different to the font I use on my computer when writing offline), but I actually started doing it because there is a particular group of enemies that are specifically time-based (all enemies have a time limit in which you must defeat them, but these guys set a timer within which you must keep typing), and I thought I could use that as freewriting sessions. Freewriting was something I'd been sure would work for me if I needed to get unstuck, and I'd actually noticed I could untangle issues I had by talking about them with friends in private, often without them even being around to help. So I tried it. And wonder of wonders! I got unstuck! On multiple stories! Just by rambling about them on a timer! And then I started writing words to defeat other enemies on the site live, and wait. How many words did I write this week? On this day? It's been a real game-changer, particularly as my edits count as more words, which impresses the fundamental truth that every word you write matters, even the ones you delete. Even the ones you edit away because the sentence didn't feel right. Even the passages that ultimately don't work. It all matters, and it all helps. And if I get stuck again, there's always the endurance monsters to help me out! About half of the stuff I've posted was shared in the last three months. And it's all thanks to 4TW. If you think this sounds cool, look them up! They're good eggs and don't support generative AI in creative writing. :)

I've also achieved a few writing firsts as a result of that last point!

This probably doesn't come as a surprise to my writer friends, but I've fully accepted the fact that the first thing I need to do as a writer is write. I have heard that a thousand times before, and I knew it was true on some level, but I would always let my anxiety and perfectionism get the better of me, and overthink myself to a standstill. With the method I've been employing on 4TW, I've had to press forward if I want to beat the clock, which has pushed my ADHD brain into doing what I want it to (part of why 4TW works for me is that it sets little deadlines outside myself. I cannot set my own deadlines, I know the person who drew up that schedule and she's too easily distracted and also likes to have fun too much). With even the low-stakes pressure of beat this guy before time runs out, I've been able to at least get started, and once I've picked up a little momentum, I get excited about my stories again, and we can have days where I write over 6000 words in twelve hours, because I don't want to stop!

I've stopped trying to force my chapters to be a certain length. I let each one be as long as it needs to be, and if that's a couple thousand words longer than the last one, fine! It achieved it's purpose for the story, and I'm not going to cut stuff when it was all important! Besides, I've noticed that each story finds its rhythm if I give it the space it needs, and the chapters end up being close to the same length anyways.

I've been getting bolder and bolder about the stories I write or consider writing! Too often in the past, I've been unsure about whether an idea will work for my audience, but the more times I've let myself be weird on main, and nobody has come out of the woodwork to yell at me for it, the easier it's been to be that little bit more wild with my ideas. And having friends to babble to helps with that too, people who tell me to go for it are super important and I appreciate every one of them!

I've actually written stories inspired by prompts! I'd never really done this before. Being prompted by a post is one thing (love ya, Threshold AU), but actually doing prompts for a challenge? That was always difficult for me. I'd always second-guess myself if I came up with any ideas for a particular prompt set, and then procrastinate on trying for years. But this year, I participated in Dominion Week, and although I've only posted four out of the seven prompt fills, I do have ideas for the other three days and will write them when the tribbles are done filling in any gaps they think should be patched in the AUs said prompt fills are relevant to. :D

Related to the above, I wrote oneshots! That stayed oneshots! And one of them stands completely on its own! That. That has never happened before. I've said several times on this blog that I'm not wired for short stories. I wrote my mother a story for her birthday and it was a backstory event from my Ylonaverse because I couldn't think of an idea that could stand on its own. And then Dominion Week happened, and I started two series of single-chapter stories, and wrote a oneshot that was a thought experiment and won't be a part of any of my currently existing AUs, and I'm still mind-blown that that even happened.

It has been a good writing year for me, in other words, despite its ups and downs.

Oh, and I also have had the capacity to Braille up my stories for a year now, and although I'm a perfectionist about this and want the Braille versions to be just right, because I intend to podfic them, I'm still very glad I can Braille things up at all.

But that was gonna happen anyway. The Brailler and paper were part of last year's birthday present, much as the binding combs and binding machine were part of this year's one. And the discussion of that part of my creative life should have its own post at some point. Probably when I have compiled enough to start actually podficking.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I always have a moment, if I hear a comedian mention the word "Tumblr", of briefly panicking, as I remember that technically they use the same internet as I do and apparently are allowed to see this website. I usually relax if it was before 2015, though. Lots of people knew Tumblr existed before 2015. For some reason, around 2015, maybe slightly later, everyone believed that Tumblr stopped existing. So if it was before that, I figure it's fine. These day they are probably one of the many people in the world who assume Tumblr doesn't exist.

I'm sort of joking about this - as in I do genuinely have a moment of freaking out from hearing them say the word "Tumblr" because I briefly and irrationally somehow feel like they can see me, but I also know there's no need to be genuinely worried, as in real life just because they mentioned a website's name doesn't mean they're on here searching their own name. No one's doing that on Tumblr. It really is why I love this website. No one is here. No one is looking at us. It's not like Instagram where you're posting on the same site where the celebrities you're talking about have their own fucking account.

Except for David O'Doherty, who does have a Tumblr account that he must log into regularly because it has his tour list and that's kept up to date, but he hasn't made any new posts on there in years, I'm pretty sure he just updates the tours and then goes away. It's probably fine. Oh, and there is another comedy-adjacent person who has a Tumblr account and whose name I'm not going to write because I know he does Google himself, he once emailed me to tell me so, and I freaked the fuck out for like a week straight because apparently sometimes in real life they can see us. But it's all right, I'm pretty sure he only looked at one post, took a video off YouTube, moved on, it's fine. It's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine and I'm not worried about it. No one's looking at me. That guy does have a Tumblr account of his own that was actually updated regularly, though, so that's a bit different. That might explain how he ended up finding my post that mentioned them on here. Most of them don't so they wouldn't come across my posts. (That guy was also very very nice when he emailed me and I love his work and think he seems very cool, which I'm adding on the infinitesimal chance that he's somehow reading this again, extremely unlikely but I'm vaguely paranoid - I'm also saying that because it's true though, he's great and I still listen to his stuff a lot, it's fine, he was nice, I'm just horrified at the idea that any famous people would ever know what I say about them, that's why I hide in this corner over here.)

So there was that incident. There was the day I discovered DO'D's blog, which did freak me out until I saw how long ago it was last updated. There was one time when Russell Howard referenced a Tumblr post on TV, which freaked me out for about half a second before I remembered that it just means one of his writers found a Tumblr post and put it in the script, Russell Howard doesn't personally write that whole autocue. Russell Howard is probably too important to even run his own Twitter account. He's not here.

The worst scare I've had - besides the time a guy actually emailed me - was when I heard Daniel Kitson in 2018, which was far too recently, say the word "Tumblr" to say he disliked someone who had a Twitter blog and a Tumblr blog dedicated to how great he is. That actually did seriously freak me out for a few days (he wasn't talking about me or anything, I made this blog in 2020, but still, didn't love to hear that Kitson apparently searches his own name on Tumblr and gets mad about people having blogs about him), though I felt better when I first heard his most recent show, in which he promises us he hasn't Googled himself since 2019. He wouldn't lie, right? It's probably fine. It's probably fine.

Anyway. As far as moments where I'm listening to a comedian I have posted about on Tumblr and I hear that person say the word "Tumblr" and for a split second my blood runs cold as I think "What the fuck do you know about Tumblr?" - as far as moments like that go, this sure is one. Brief panic, followed by moment of "it's 2014, it's fucking fine, I'm sure they've all forgotten we're here by now", followed by "Jesus Christ, Ian, what the fuck have you been reading, that side of Tumblr is not meant for your eyes", followed by "actually, I still haven't been able to find a list of air dates for their radio episodes but I have a document where I'm saving all the context clues in the hopes of narrowing it down enough to label all the episodes with dates, the fact he described that particular post as 'new' can be a context clue if I go to that blog and dig up that post and find exactly when it went up", followed by, "Jesus Christ this section of the internet should really not be for anyone's eyes, what the hell, look at all those things people wanted to do to David Mitchell, but yep, found the post, it's from late February 2014, that tracks with everything else, I think I'm in the right ballpark on these air dates."

The work of a comedy archivist is hard. Sometimes you have to go through some trenches to get a context clue for an episode air date. You do what you have to do.

[ruvviks]

🎮 🖊️ 🎶 🌈 for isaac, 🍎 🔺 🤍 😥 for heavenly for the oc details asks!! <3

oc asks!

🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

answered here!

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

heavenly knows how to use a lot of weapons yeah! mostly uses a crossbow which shoots essentially small wooden stakes with a silver core, it's his favorite weapon of all time :] he doesn't use guns a lot because they're mostly ineffective against vampires but he's got some modified guns that shoot handcrafted bullets or gauges which CAN hurt and slow down vamps

other than that he's also very good with melee weapons. he's very good with blades, mostly knives :^) he loves his throwing knives so much

🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?

heavenly can be very blunt, a bit passive, and overall incredibly stubborn. it's nice to always know exactly how he's feeling when you ask him and him being very direct makes it easier to communicate with him, but it can also make him a bit rude from time to time. his passiveness is mostly due to him wanting to see all sides of a situation to fully understand it, but sometimes he waits just a bit too long. his stubbornness means he can be incredibly selfless and brave, but also incredibly stupid at the same time. duality of man

😥 SAD BUT RELIEVED FACE — is your oc prone to getting stressed out, or is it easy for them to keep their cool?

heavenly can usually stay calm under pressure, but it took him very long to get to that point. his breaking point is still easily reached but he can stay calm for as long as needed and then die about the whole thing later when he's in private and can actually afford to lie face down on the floor for several hours

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

isaac loves reading a lot!! he's been alone for a large chunk of his life so reading books is a very good way for him to pass the time. he's read SO many of them over the years. he also likes to write :^) mostly writes articles for random websites or short stories and stuff like that. lastly i feel like he would also like video games. he might be old and also a century old vampire but that means he's had enough time to discover the joys of a nintendo ds lite with mysims on it

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

isaac has one tattoo currently, which i don't know the design for yet but it would be related to his bloodline! it's a tattoo they gave him after he grew out of his youngblood phase and it's to signal to other vampires which bloodline he belongs to. it's on the back of his neck :^)

later in the story he also ends up getting a second tattoo which is a little sun on his hip to match heavenly's crescent moon hip tattoo <3

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

isaac can, much like heavenly, enjoy any kind of music i think! he's lived entirely too long to be a hater of things, he's found he's a lot happier trying to find the positive in everything around him and music would make him very happy :^) he would listen to non-english music a lot, as well as instrumental stuff

🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use?

isaac is a man and uses he/him pronouns! he's cis but in the cisn't way, he doesn't really care all too much about putting a label on himself for that and just goes with what's most convenient for others. same would go for his sexual orientation, he identifies as gay but whatever that means exactly is between him and god

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 020: The Dark Wings of Death (ASM 126-128)

MASTERPOST

In this set of issues, we see fun crumbs of upcoming stuff, a very interesting mystery plot (if you're reading 127-128 for the first time, do try to solve it!), and secret lesbians (maybe, nobody's sure).

That's a mood whiplash if I see one.

This batch begins with the totally not-goofy-nor-lame Kangaroo, who this time has SUPER-POWERS (the cover says so)!

See?

Some producers ask Spidey to star in an ad, and if you're an old-time reader you'll remember something similar happened before and didn't go so well. He's not tempted either. Meanwhile, the Kangaroo (who last appeared ish 81) meets up with Jonas Harrow (who we saw in 114, he's the one who experimented on Hammerhead).

On campus, Professor Warren pops up to tell the readers that he's totally not about to become an important character, and Peter is an ass to MJ and Flash. Oh, what else is new!

Our dear old Jonas is clueless because as soon as the Kangaroo gets powers, he leaves to deal with Spidey instead of listening to him.

Spidey accepts to do the car ad and requires Johnny Storm's help. I always thought he had the pose of a naked anime girl in any opening ever. I'm curious about the new costume, though. I wonder when it came to pass... Oh, but the Internet has the answer! "From 1973 to 1975, Johnny incorporated a red uniform into his wardrobe in an homage to the original Silver Age Human Torch." And I get more information here: "As a child, Johnny Storm had read comic books about the World War II Human Torch and idolized him. After gaining similar powers and taking his name, Johnny decided for a short time that he would take on a costume similar to that of his android hero."

As shown in the preview of this post, while Spidey's about to discover the greatest invention of last century, Jonah's son is hanging on (continuity, nice!).

So the Kangaroo dies by radiation, anyway. It would be tragic if the character wasn't such a buffoon.

And MJ tries her best, as usual, but Harry ignores her...

Because he's too busy pretending his father's contempt for him was ever worth anything. Anyway, I love how those boots are drawn.

Classic Sunset Spidey!!!

In the readers' letters, we get a very interesting (and funny in hindsight) comment from the writers.

I can finally feel than the bigger number of pages is great. The story's allowed to breathe, we both get a lot of fight AND some drama. It's good!

That's kind of an iconic cover! The questions (although we already know for Harry...), MJ's wild outfit (her pants!!!)... It's a great cover.

In this issue, Peter looks a bit too much like an 80s rugged hunk to my taste.

Okay Mr. Schwarzenegger. Whatever you say.

So Peter keeps being an ass, almost to an absurd degree. Boy, you need to learn empathy and compassion. I do appreciate a good undressing though so keep going please.

The Vulture is the murderer but Peter's wet dreams about Johnny Storm are much more interesting to me.

Because things aren't getting better any time soon on the Parksborn front, you know.

Peter gets him and Flash into an accident because he's a menace (it's actually because the Vulture just took MJ away) and thus, the Flash whump continues (I'm into that!).

The hero and the villain fight, Spidey saves MJ, they get in a lab...

I love her design, don't know why.

WHAT AN ICONIC MOMENT.

The Vulture wants to make Spidey his boytoy, and behind a tree...

Those panels of Harry wishing Spidey's death have stayed in my mind ever since I saw them the first time. Incredibly striking, and exciting for the reader who can't help but want a fight between these two--for the Green Goblin remains a delightful villain, even with Harry's traits.

Anyway, I was checking a certain website to see reactions (because comicdom is so sparse that it's hard to see reactions to specific issues)...

6 years ago!!! And under that, the comments are just as shocked.

I should check THOSE comments more often because they're also pretty funny.

Meanwhile, in the readers' letters...

The next and last issue of this batch (128) opens with Spidey falling from the sky, too high to shoot webs at a building. Once again, incredibly iconic.

Also, welcome to 1974! What a way to start the year. The last year I've read fully! But I read a whole bunch of 1975 so we'll see what new material we get there...

So Spidey gets out of the predicament in the usual fashion (if you can't swing, web up a hammoc) and goes back to the lab where the shadiest character design I've ever seen in this magazine also coincidentally is there.

They keep mentioning coke, which wasn't the case when "Stan Lee" (and whoever else helped...) wrote the lines.

Another gorgeous character design.

So are they lesbians or twins? Or both? You decide, Pete.

Ned Leeds hasn't had a role for a while (just you wait, honey) but he's sure looking like a stud right there.

Peter is still being an ass to MJ.

And Spidey eventually susses out everything and tells all, like Professor Layton would. This is actually quite an experimental story, given than the reveal that Dr Shallot is the new Vulture is just as bonkers as me just revealing this that way.

I had completely forgotten about everything, but goddamn, what an interesting set of issues. I'd say the plotting is masterful because the magazine really never expects its readers to be that smart. Hmm.

(I was convinced the victim was her twin though... What's up with them swapping outfits? Was that intentional, on whose part? Since they're not twins, I will assume lesbians.)

Let's check the comments :-)

I can't post any picture since I reached the limit (would you believe it!) but I CAN copy/paste!

"Brace yourselves, the Jackal leads to some of the really weird and convoluted plots."

YES. Very compelling though.

In the next batch: The Punisher and the Jackal are introduced, and we also get a long-awaited wedding! The 70s just keep on being iconic, it never stops!

[mysticetus]

thank you so so so much for the detailed ask!!! i've recently considered going into that field and that information / suggestion is super helpful for my decision :) i didn't know you were a biology major! that's so cool! how has it been so far? what kind of courses you took in high school do you use now / what do you feel are specific essential areas? i hope that doesn't sound like a strange question to ask, i've got some memory issues and knowing what specifically to focus on before i get into college could help a lot :)

no problem its not often i get to talk about the work that i do so im glad to write stuff.

when it comes to academic advice i have to preface it by saying things depend greatly on what is available to you, since “biology major” can fall under a ton of different things and im not sure theres a universal system for it … some examples ive seen are biology BS (bachelor of science) which is more useful for microbiology and if you want to go into research, biochemistry, or the medical field … biology BA (bachelor of art) which is better for macrobiology like zoology, and people looking to go into education. Theres also ecology and evolutionary biology, and more specific majors like botany, marine bio, etc ….

or your college might just have a single biology major. it really depends. my college happens to have a robust bio department and thats the main reason i wanted to go here. they usually have information on offered majors on their website but i assume youre looking at that anyway lol.

A nice piece of advice i received from someone in the field was when i attended the necropsy of an adult female sea lion, the woman performing it recommended we get a general biology degree rather than marine biology, since general bio offers you more opportunity. For example if you want to work in like… idaho studying golden eagles or kansas looking at salamander species you cant much use a marine bio degree for that. But a general bio degree is helpful in most marine bio environments. (Also marine bio is extremely competitive and the work is usually expensive but thats another conversation…)

in high school the class most useful to me was definitely physiology which was a science elective for me. It went over like…bone names and organ systems and how muscles work and all that … its still useful to me. You could also look into APES (ap environmental science) if thats something available to you. but generally i think you should take classes that are interesting to you! bio is a huge field and you may discover something really amazing if you just follow your nose.

and high school isnt all there is, you could see if theres a local museum or wildlife rescue center that takes youth workers/volunteers. More often than not facilities like this are non profit and depend on volunteer work so they might have something available. For paying jobs you could look into pet stores, sounds weird but there was an aquarium store in my town that had tons of species and the employees there are mostly really nerdy teenagers. similar situation with a reptile store near me, they literally breed chicks to feed the snakes. animal husbandry is a great way to observe like. Feeding behaviors and ecological roles. Doing work in actual places where a bio degree is applied helped inform my decision and i also learned a lot on the job. i never really freaked out about extracurriculars i just did this stuff because it seemed cool but it definitely helps with getting into college in the first place.

hope this helps

[adultswim2021]

Fat Guy Stuck in Internet #2: “Beast and Breakfast” | April 1, 2008 - 12:00AM | S01E02 Final version aired June 23, 2008 @ 12:15AM. 

Adult Swim has a rich history doing various programming stunts on April Fools. Some years the prank is a dastardly trick. In 2008 it was a sweet treat. They filled the post-midnight portion of their programming block with premieres and sneak peeks. This was one of them.

We kick off the April Fools block with Fat Guy Stuck in Internet, a show that is largely forgotten by most. It’s not on HBOMax, but the whole series is on Adult Swim’s website, so that’s nice. What’s no longer online, I assume, is the video commentaries that originally ran with each episode. That’s too bad, because there’s remarkably little online about this show and it would’ve been nice to, say, be able to look up who’s playing Scrimshaw. It’s the guy who normally plays Chains, isn’t it?

Gemberling is having a nightmare flashback about being a kid and being told his mother was murdered by a drifter by his emotionally distant father. When Gemberling reacts with the appropriate emotional grief his father gives him food to cope while cruelly laughing at him. Dark stuff, but it’s all undercut by the web-series-calibur acting on display. The voice Gemberling uses for his own father (the actor, John Gemberling, plays his character Gemberling’s own father) is very evocative of internet sketch comedy from around this time. I think it’s basically the same voice the dad has in that AWESOME VIDEO GAMES series that I remember liking, mildly, but getting mad that everyone in the cast had dumb bro earrings in. I know I’ve said this before, and I’m sorry, but: if you get dumb earrings or tattoos or even just have dumb facial hair you refuse to shave off you should be banned from performing sketch comedy. 

Rich Fulcher! WOW! I forgot he was in this. I probably didn’t know who he was in 2008. Anyway, Gemberling meets up with a panel of elders or something (all played by Fulcher) who need Gemberling to prove that he’s the chosen one by slaying a beast. The beast in question is huge, and spends his day running around. He has long flowing hair that Gemberling and the gang grab onto. They find a spooky hotel on the monster’s buttcheeks and decide to stay there. Cue the The Shining parody. The desk clerk is a fella named Scrimshaw who, uh, I thought maybe was a reference to the film Mystery Train. This is because he has brown skin, and he seems vaguely familiar and… possibly a white guy under make-up.

There is exactly one funny joke in this entire show. It’s a scene where Scrimshaw is parodying the bartender scene in The Shining and he tries to tempt Gemberling with cupcakes. “They’re on the house. This gingerbread house.” Funny! But this show, so far, follows the mold of a lot of other tepid Adult Swim shows; it’s a pastiche of a low-brow genre show and the entire joke is that it’s hammy and convoluted.

Anyway, Gemberling battles an inner-demon related to his food addiction in the form of his father, who shows up with Bit and Byte in boiling cauldrons. He defeats him, somehow, and causes the hotel to burn down. It’s pretty unconvincing, and it’s not even very funny. But whatever. I’m supposed to be stoned and having my mind blown that the show Adult Swim said was going to air at Midnight didn’t, and this is airing instead.

I liked the scene when Scrimshaw comes back to the hotel to discover it burned down and gets mad at our heroes, who somewhat rightly remind him that it was a haunted hotel that was trying to kill them all with inner demons. Scrimshaw hops away. “Oh, he’s a FLEA!” he says. AND NOT A BLACK GUY, is the thing left being unsaid. I guess there’s precedent for this. I can actually recall an episode of the even-more-obscure Family Channel series Maniac Mansion where a character disguises herself as a “fly” and it involves her blacking her face up. Maybe I’m a sap, but I don’t think they were being malicious on either of these shows.

Oh yeah, the whole slay-the-beast thing. By destroying the hotel they also destroy the beast, fulfilling their destinies and earning the respect of the Rich Fulcher tribunal. This also earns Gemberling his “internet name”, which turns out to be FAT GUY STUCK IN INTERNET. 

It’s worth noting, I guess, that the version that aired on April Fools was slightly different from the version that aired in June when the season had it’s proper debut. The April Fools version didn’t have an opening sequence. It also didn’t credit Julie Klausner, who I’m guessing was the voice of the cupcakes in the Gingerbread house (who behave like freaking hookers).

EPHEMERA CORNER:

The Venture Bros: Sneak Peek (April 1, 2008 - 12:15AM)

Hey, this also aired! This was just the first act of what wound up being the second episode of season three of The Venture Bros., episode “The Doctor is Sin”. It wasn’t complete, like I said. It was just the first half of the episode. Therefore, I won’t be covering it until the episode actually airs properly later in the year. 

I read somewhere on a wiki that TCM host Robert Osbourne introduced some of the programs that aired for April Fools this year. But I have zero memory of this, and unfortunately I don’t have a recording of the night handy. If anyone could shed some light on this, I would be grateful.

[worldofroma]

April 21 2023, Friday - 1:10pm

It’s been quite a while since I’ve gotten the chance to write on this again. A lot of shit has happened, actually.

I got super sick. Like, super fucking sick. Pretty sure it was COVID as I was completely bed-ridden for 4 days, my head and ears full of pressure and my throat hurting so bad I could barely breathe. Not only that, but everytime I did breathe, I made a weird gurgling kind of sound and it was absolutely disgusting.

I got a job. Finally. But I’m working at Tim Hortons. Gross. I’ve learned how they make some of my favourite drinks, foul. Yet I’ll still continue to drink them almost every damn day.

Practiced driving a lot more as my driving test for G2 is coming up next Tuesday. Was doing great until my instructor told me that they think I’ll be fine on the test, immediately ran a stop sign and turned the opposite way that I had my signal on for. Nice.

Discovered the side of me that could be considered a slut. But now I understand the reason why so many women turn to it, it’s so exciting and quite frankly entertaining. Theres this stupid website, some kind of thing for pen pals, idfk, but the amount of disgusting men on there is outstanding. I made an account and within 10 minutes, I had 17 messages from 17 different men (yes, men, all over the age of 25) telling me how beautiful I am and the things they’d love to do to my “young, teen body”. Fucking disgusting. But, I reply anyways. I’m addicted to the attention they give me and how little effort I have to put in to getting it. All I have to do is respond with short, sweet, and flirty answers and they’re all over me. I love it.

Met someone on the website who I think is my twin flame. He’s only a few months younger than me, lowkey cringe, but we are so alike. But, now that we’ve been texting back and fourth for a good 5 days now, I’ve definitely been humbled. In short, let’s just say we used this app called RAVE to watch a movie without being in the same place. He chose the movie. He chose Fight Club. Need I say more?

I’m writing this on the last day of my co-op, thank the lord. I kind of feel bad for hating it, but I told the teacher I was an assistant for that I enjoyed it even though almost every day I sat at the back table cutting out laminated cards or instructions to a game I never knew existed. It was dreadful, but I managed.

I killed a bug today, a big brown shiny one that made a crunching noise when I stepped on it. Felt really bad afterwards. Don’t really know why, I’ve never cared before.

Oh, and back to the guy I mentioned in 5, his name is Atlas by the way, he’s so smart yet so fucking douchy about it. Not in a bad way though, I honestly enjoy being told by him. But at one point, we had this super long typical conversation about the meaning of life and what happens after death. He’s fully convinced that there is no God, there is no Heaven or Hell. There’s just nothing after death. And he’s okay with it too, but I’m not sure I am. I think that might be why I felt bad for killing the bug. All it was trying to do was hide under some shelf but I purposely went out of my way to end it’s life in a split second, leaving it in the emptiness of the afterlife forever on. Atlas also told me that he killed someone, or may have at least. Apparently he was drunk some time ago and was approched by an even more drunk old man who tried to come onto him, rape him I guess, and he beat him to the point he has no clue if the man survived. He also told me he’d be willing to eat human flesh. I don’t know why, but I’m not afraid of him like anyone else would be after hearing this stuff from him. I actually find it rather comforting that he trusts me enough to tell me things like that after not even knowing me for a week yet. He says he’s really glad we met, but I think if we ever met in real life, it would be catastrophic.

Also, yesterday I skipped co-op just to sleep. Woke up at 7:30, decided I didn’t want to go, and then went back to bed only to wake up at 2pm without waking once. I think If I had the choice, I’d stay in bed forever. Now I understand My Year of Rest and Relaxation.

So thats what my life has been like recently. Fucking hell if you ask me. But on top of everything thats going on, I’ve been thinking a lot about what my future is going to look like. If I want to get anywhere in this world without living a life of depression, I need to marry rich. In this world, you don’t get anywhere without aqquiring a job in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) and I fucking hate all four of those things. All I want to do is write. I want to write stories that someone will read once and remember for the rest of their lives. I want to be a movie director so I can bring those books to life and create a masterpiece out of each one. But you don’t get anywhere like that without money and as of right now, I have $2.09 in my bank account. Savings and all. And by the looks of it, I’ll either be marrying someone extremely fucked up and insane like Atlas, or some rich old perverted white guy who will be willing to give me anything if I strip down. And in all honesty, I don’t mind either. As long as I’m getting the attention I deserve and the time to spend on writing, I couldn’t give a shit who I spend it with.

Also, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be capable of loving someone. I remember this one time before we broke off completely, Kyra and I decided to take a break from our friendship as I didn’t feel I was getting anything out of it compared to what I was putting into the friendship. My stepdad, Paul, decided to tell me during that break that he was convinced Kyra and I were in some kind of secret relationship because of how often we’d spend time together, but we were only so close because we only had each other for years. During that conversation, he went on to tell me that no matter how long we spend a part, we would always find our way back to being friends because even if we didn’t want to admit it, we loved each other. This was after I made it clear that I’m straight, by the way, so this so called love was more just in a family way because it was the only other option. But that wasn’t the case. Her and I never had any love for each other, only depdenance and a sort of guilt that if we didn’t hang out with each other, we’d be a bad person. A bad friend. I realized that after she started hanging out with me only to use my weed and get my mother to buy her pods. Another reason I don’t think I could ever love someone is because I have no commitment skills. If I ever somehow get in a relationship with a guy, I can almost guarantee that I’ll be tired of them before the 1 year mark, if I even make it that far. It’s kind of funny it worked out that way though seeing I have serious abandonment issues. If I get abandoned, I’ll never recover from it, but if I abandon someone else, they’ll likely never cross my mind again unless it’s because I’m internally insulting them. This is why I know I’m not a good person. I’m selfish. I don’t care about how my actions affect others, but if someone were to hurt me, I’d find a way to make them pay for it.

Another thing that’s been on my mind lately is what kind of illness I have. I don’t want to be diagnosed because as much as it can be nice to know how to treat whatever I have, then I’ll know for sure that theres something wrong with me that can never truly be fixed. Also, then I’ll know that I’m nothing more than a younger version of my parents, the mixture of those two being the worst possible outcome of a child there can be. I’d rather just go on forever thinking that whatevers wrong with me could just be in my head, whether that sounds better or not. But I know theres something wrong with me, and Atlas knows too. He and I were talking about the issues we had since he’s not a stranger with mental health issues either. He’s an insomniac (or so he says, I honestly think he may just be adapting the personality of that guy from Fight Club after he was so eager to show me), and he clearly has some kind of personality disorder. Likely DID he says, and he thinks thats what I have too. He says that those occurances I’ve had where I’ve done awful things without having a reason, such as attempting to run away, could be the result of untreated DID. In all honesty, even if I haven’t spoken to him for very long, it’s kind of obvious he does have DID. Sometimes when I’m messaging him, I notice a split in his personality that he thinks is normal. We’ll both be talking about really personal things, things I often mention in here, and he’ll randomly tell me to stop talking about it so he doesn’t start spiralling or doesn’t want to come off as someone who doesn’t care about my problems. Regardless, he’s not shy when it comes to telling me to shut up. Frankly, I’m not sure if that’s really DID or him being flat out about not caring what I have to say. It’s odd though, because other times he tells me how glad he is that we met and that we’re able to chat and gets a little impatient when I don’t answer him right away either, which is why I do believe he has DID. But again, he could just be a shitty person. I’m not sure what I’d rather him be.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet, but I think I also might have some kind of schizo illness. I say schizo illness and not schizophrenia because schizophrenics aren’t often aware of themselves having it, but I do have a lot of the symptoms and I’m fully aware of it. I’m constantly seeing people or figures or animals, my cats in particular, in random places wherever I am. Sometimes just out of the corner of my eye, other times they’ll be right in front of me until I look at them. It only freaks me out when they’re moving, though. It’s always super quick and right towards me, it’s fucking chilling. Also, when it’s too quiet, I hear things talking to me. Men, women, children, old people. I always hear it, but it’s not common for me to understand what they’re saying. A lot of the time, it’s jumbled or sounds like they’re under water almost. Sometimes I hear whistling too. It’s weird. I also get extreme paranoia. Everyone always has that one emotion their driven by whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, blah blah blah. But what drives me most of the time is fear. Anxiety. It’s so bad that sometimes when I’m in my room by myself for too long, I start thinking that whatever screen is in front of me such as my phone or tv will randomly get hacked into and jumpscare me with horrific images and loud noises. When has that ever happened? Never. What are the chances of it happening? Likely slim to nothing. Yet I think about it almost daily and when I do, I have to leave the room and stare at a wall or I’ll have a panic attack. Similarly, I get extra paranoid at night and find it really hard to leave my room after a certain time. I’m afraid that once the lights are out, something will be lurking in the dark ready for whenever I dare to step foot out. I never know what this thing will do to me, but I don’t want to find out which is why sometimes I’ll go to bed with a full bladder or a full face of make up on. I can’t even go to the bathroom without freaking out about something that’s not even there. I’ve convinced myself that wherever I go, specifically my home and bathroom, a camera or thousands of cameras are watching me. I don’t know whos watching me, but whoever is is judging me and making fun of me so I have to be perfect all the time. I’m constantly worrying about what I’m doing, what I said, what I look like because of it. I think theres someone secretly living in my basement. My trapped door basement. When I’m home alone, I hear people walking around downstairs and moving things around. Sometimes, I’ll lose things for months and then it’ll randomly appear in the most obvious place I would’ve found only seconds after I’d realized it was lost. Someones fucking with me. Sometimes I think that I have the ability to ‘regenerate’ or ‘heal’ faster than others. Yes I get sick, but I’m convinced that I can fight off any kind of illness or injury much faster than others. I can do it without medications, unlike everyone else. Yet I constantly worry about getting cancer or some unfixable illness. It doesn’t add up. Now that I’m writing all this, I realized how pathetic it all sounds, but it’s the truth. I live like this everyday and I don’t tell a single person. I keep it all in. Not because I’m afraid of what they may say or think of me or what the outcome may be, I simply can’t bring myself to say it. I don’t know why, but I just can’t. No matter how close I get to saying it, I always switch the topic or lie about what I really feel, even to my therapist. I think she knows I’m lying too because almost every appointment she asks “Are you telling me everything or is there something else I should know about? I’m only asking because it’s easy for anyone to put on a mask and fake things.” But I know she knows. And I feel bad for lying about it. It’s not that I don’t trust her or think she’s a bad therapist or anything like that, I think she’s a great person for me to talk to. I honestly just can’t talk about it. Not only that, but it’s just so much easier to force a smile and tell her that I’m fine.

I know that if I ever do admit it, I’ll cry and I hate crying. I don’t even remember the last time I had a good hard cry, I almost feel as if I don’t deserve the tears. That, and the things I could cry about don’t deserve the tears. It’s pointless. I also hate the way I look after I cry. My eyes get all swollen and gross looking and don’t return to normal for a good day or two. Why would I foil my appearance on things that don’t matter. Things I’ll forget within a month or even sooner.

[mercurytrinemoon]

Another post on Moon signs you can drag me for

Before we get into the actual thing, I'd like to say this post initially started as something else but ultimately, what I tried to put across is, sometimes Moon signs aren’t that easy to decipher. It’s easy to grasp overall characteristics of the signs and then learn how to identify their specific traits. But what people seem to forget it that Moon represents the deepest side of us & our inner world - it’s uncommon to really see someone’s side of it unless you really pay attention. Sometimes I’m surprised to see what someone’s Moon sign is even if I know this person well. Meaning, people usually hide that part of them - or they just simply process it internally and others can’t see their emotional reactions. It’s also uncommon for folks these days to fully express their emotional needs so it gets even trickier to pin-point their Moon characteristics. I don't think I have to mention this but, of course, your entire chart should be taken into account, as well as house placement, aspects. Personally, I like to also look at Moon's dispositor.

Let’s start from my friends, Gemini Moons, who, I feel, get a bad rep for not showing their feelings and scanning every emotion like an AI. Nah-ah. I know this one Gemini Moon whose immediate emotional reactions aren’t very cerebral in the sense of processing everything in the mind and intellectualizing it aka, what people like to label as being un-emotional. Instead her reactions are often fast (air energy) but physically expressed through Mercury (Gemini Moon’s dispositor) and Sun (overall identity) – she has them both in Aries. She’s a crybaby who can burst into tears in a matter of seconds. So she’s not something that would stereotypically be assigned to a Gemini Moon. But what I did notice is that all Gemini Moons tend to have this weird look on their face when they’re processing stuff. As if they were about to have a brain malfunction; they stop and have that specific worried look. They also like to either gossip or tell stories (either real or made up lol); they’re great with words - they can talk for hours if they feel comfortable with you. They just crave interaction and mental stimulation. Their quick reactions tend to make them effortlessly witty. Even if they’re a withdrawn Gemini type, they make up for it through social media and technology or just a quiet exploration. My shy Cancer pal with Moon in Gemini is now a brand/website designer and an instagram queen who travels the world. This is great energy for content creators in general. And don’t forget that Geminis need to have their fingers in many pies. It’s because they always have a backup plan… and they get bored easily so they need that chaos around them to feel at home. They like to have options in everything, which is kind of funny cause it’s hard for them to make up their minds and actually choose something. And they store a lot of information in their brains… I feel like it must be exhausting, no? 

On the other side of the axis, whenever I see someone with a Sagittarius Moon, I can immediately say “yup, a Sag Moon indeed” (probably thanks to my Sag stellium), meaning, they all seem the same to me. Sag Moons often find comfort in exploration - best if it’s literal travel. They always seem to need to free themselves from their surroundings, family, roots or their own culture to discover something new and exciting, even if it’s only in the imaginary words - through books, movies and other medias. Their happiness always lies somewhere else from where they currently are. Like, I think all Sagittarius Moons that I know have left their parents and went their own paths early on. And they have this yolo attitude. Just like Sagittarius Suns, they’re massive dorks, probably also obnoxious… sometimes in a REALLY annoying way. They’re either a) very wise and curious b) lil preachy and stuck up c) just plain dumb clowns with no filter. But they’re all funny. And they take things lightly, with a natural ease. This means sometimes they may offend other people just because they assume everyone’s as chill as they are; „relax! I was just kidding!” - that’s a phrase you’ll hear from them often… I mean, unless you’re a jokester yourself and you’re unmoved by their sarcastic or teasing words. They have somewhat spiritual or philosophical nature so besides making you laugh, be prepared for deep monologues. They want to believe everything will eventually fall into place. It’s also hard to bring them down - or I should say, it’s hard to make them acknowledge that they're feeling down - they always try to distract or cover it up with a joke, usually a self-depricating one. If Sagittarius Moon (or Sagittarius in general tbh) is telling you that they’re unhappy, then it’s serious.

I’ve noticed there comes a point in life for a Libra Moon where they just have enough. They’re too nice for everyone and one day they wake up and yell about how they have to do everything for everyone and everyone wants something from them and bLah bLah. Makes me think of when Bieber was this overly nice kid and then he was like “I’M NOT TAKING PICTURES WITH FANS ANYMOREEEE AAGhJFJFUWIUq”. Yup, a Libra Moon, everyone. They know how to charm and appeal to people, I think overall they’re easily liked by others. Sometimes it’s simply because they like to kiss people’s ass just to avoid being rejected. That’d be a Libra Moon’s nightmare. They like other people’s company too much. And they thrive in relationships and in a big circle of friends. What they hate is confrontations (like every other Libra placement omg). They may be good mediators when it comes to other people but if they’re involved in an argument they get sooooo passive aggressive. They just don’t know how to handle conflicts - it’s as if their nervous system wasn’t designed for emotional outbursts (because, you know, everything needs to be peaceful and harmonious Venus-style). A fussy or angry Libra Moon will suddenly get loud as they blame someone for something… and then they’ll leave the room cause they’re scared to even hear the other side of the argument. Or, alternatively, they’ll make a doormat out of themselves just to stay quiet and avoid causing any rift. And making decisions? I think it’s common for them to have two different romantic interests and feeling so dramatically torned between them *Alexa play Agony from Into the Woods*. Then when they decide, they have problems breaking the bad news to one of them.

On the other end we have Aries Moons. *deep breath* Listen, I think I’ve said enough about having Moon in Aries (or rather purely dissing it) but last time it made a bit of controversy so why not wreak even more havoc. I have a good description for this one: I will punch you but be gentle with me cause it’s easy to break my fragile heart. So basically, imagine putting Buttercup and Bubbles into one person. And honestly, I need to say this, women with this placement are just hot badasses, look at friggin Angelina Jolie. The queen of badass. The queen of hot. People say because Aries folks move quickly (literally and figuratively lol), they often get bored with whatever got them excited last week... or yesterday. Ha, yeah, right. You get their heart to open up and they’re going to have their eyes for you ONLY, like a lil puppy. Give us treats and we’ll build our world around you. But NOT in a clingy way by any means, we need our space and independence after all. My lil niece is an Aries Moon and ever since I started playing guitar with her, she became my #1 fan or something. That’s the energy. But we get easily bored with day-to-day stuff so yeah, there’s that. Innocent and clumsy yet raw in their emotions - so there’s potential to make mistakes sometimes (or a lot of times) or having this tunnel vision, like „I want this and I don’t care about anything else!”. And then excusing it with some „but the heart wants what it wants” crap (looking @ ya, Selena Gomez). They experience constant inner movement and turbulence that needs a physical outlet in order to feel satisfied. WE NEED PASSION IN OUR LIVES, OKAY?!?!?? now leave me alone

Aquarius Moons aren’t as cold as you might think. People like to describe them as if their Moons actually disappeared from their charts: dEtaCheD, uNeMotiOnaL, tHey fEeL nOtHinG. It’s just they don’t sit and dwell on things, they find solutions to the problems. If something doesn’t make them feel right, they just leave that situation. They do care about other people’s well-being, they’re very sensitive in that regard, they’re humanitarians after all. Yeah, they detach, but from their own emotions - in order to make sense of them. They may seem like snow queens sometimes (and this comes from an Aqua rising) but they’re really friendly and if you pique Aqua Moon’s interest, they’re going to be curious about you. They like new exciting things so if you’re cool enough, you have their attention. Usually they’re pretty progressive as well and can’t stand injustice. That’s why you’ll see them standing up for those who are in need. Uranian energy gives them a specific type of sharp intuition and wit. Idk they’re just cute in a quirky way. But this buzzing, fast energy is a great recipe for anxiety, over-thinking and frequent changes of heart. Similarly to Sadges, they need constant exploration and stimuli. Intelligent, people-oriented (but not people-pleasing! Look to Libras for that), individualistic. They definitely need their own space and independence. Their decision-making is fast and it’s easy for them to just say „screw it, I’m doing this”. My Aquarius Moon friend just casually decided that she’s moving to Turkey cause nothing in our city (or even country) seems interesting or helping her expand… So she was like, see ya suckers, I’m leaving.

Leo Moons shine from within. You’ll spot them from a mile away even if they’re on the shyer side. They’re all lil stars no matter their profession. Very expressive people & easily excitable. Art galleries, live shows, theater - they love a creative environment even if they don’t pursue that lifestyle themselves... One of my Leo Moon friends is an art junkie – suggest taking her to an obscure play at the local bar, a music festival, a weird museum – she’ll say yes in the blink of an eye. And she loves discussing these things. A Leo Moon may not see themselves as artistically inclined, but usually sooner or later they at least try dipping their toes in music, arts, acting, dancing... you name it. They’ll learn a simple 3-chord song on a ukulele and then play it to you in excitement. Imagine a lil kid making you a puff piece and being super proud of it. Sometimes they just need some encouragement. Remember, Leos feed off of praise, that’s their fuel. Doesn’t mean they’re all proud, egotistical people but what it does mean is that they need a lil assurance to gain their self-confidence. I lived with a Leo Sun/Moon for almost 15 years (who’s a musician btw so yeah, a classic creative Leo type) - he did have some issues lol but ego wasn’t one of them. Drama followed him everywhere but I’m pretty sure he disliked it himself. BUT, with that being said, I feel like Leo Moons tend to dramatize themselves internally. People say it’s something Virgos or Geminis would do - because of their tendency to overthink, but Leos can just go straight to a worst-case scenario in their heads simply because they exaggerate everything. So don’t be surprised to see a Leo Moon feeling down and anxious. On the bright side, be their cheerleader and they’ll give that to you in return. They need sparks and dullness kills their upbeat spirit. They need to feel their own heartbeat so the feeling of excitement is crucial for their well-being. Romantic, giving and kind. They’re fixed fire so once they’re set on something or someone, they give their all and are rather loyal.

I feel like my chart low-key tells me I should dislike Taurus Moons but I just want to melt in their arms and just stay there? Like, forever? Low maintenance but a bit slow-moving and stubborn. They won’t settle easily, at least not officially, so you need to have a lot of patience with them. They need 3 things to feel secure and at peace: physical stimuli, time and a stable place they know they can always come back to. And it’s not like all of them are total lazy homebodies, they may be active spirits & travellers but they are going to have a reallyyyyy nice cosy flat somewhere near their childhood place (gotta be be close to their moms, you know). Not necessary materialistic but they may have one thing that they collect throughout their entire life and they won’t. ever. get. rid. of. it. There needs to be at least one constant in their life - like you know when Elton John decided to go to therapy but one thing he stuck to was shopaholism? Very Taurus Moon of him. Also, they’re very affectionate. In fact, may have issues differentiating between affection and passion - this is actually something Taurus Moon and Aries Moon have in common. Pro tip - and this is in regard to all Taurus placements - don’t smell bad when you’re around them (I mean, don't smell bad in general, no one likes stinky people lol). They have a sensitive smell. Doesn’t help that they like to smell everything. EVERYTHING. I swear, Taurus, stop sticking your nose in every single thing!!! You don't need to know how that piece of utensil smells like. Jeez.

Scorpio Moon (shoutout to those who remember me accidentally calling them sporpio last time I made a post on Moons lol). I honestly don’t know what to tell you... I feel like all you hear about Scorpio Moon is 100% true, there’s nothing to debunk here. It’s the Moon of extremes. Prone to jealousy and surpressing emotions; severe trust issues; they’re instigators. I was low-key bullied by a few Scorpio Moons when I was in school so there’s that. Very secretive and private. Scorpio Moon will be like “I’m in control of the situation!!!!” and you’ll just look at them and think, yeah, right, looks like the situation is controlling you. But keep being in denial, sure. Like, don’t get me wrong, Scorpios in general can be TOTAL SWEETHEARTS OMG but ya’ll have issues. Even celebrities who have this placements... Think Beyonce or Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus... I feel like they have issues lol, especially with control and the need for everything to be perfectly the way they want it to be. To be fair, that’s probably why they’re all so influential and high status: it’s either their way or highway. They need constant reinvention; they’re the ones to wake up one day and decide they’re going through a spiritual awakening blah blah. They also like to talk about dark and shocking topics while having casual lunch with you... So like, be warned that you may end up with a depressed mood after talking to them for 10 minutes. And their mood swings... don’t even get me started on that.

I don't know where to start with Virgo Moons... I feel like they're very calculated and nit-picky but they're a lot warmer than Virgo Suns. I think I called them softies in my last Moon post. Very sweet people but prone to anxiety. You gotta experience seeing them having a heart attack over someone mixing bananas with milk or messing with their stuff that’s been put in a perfect arrangement. I saw a Virgo Moon once literally squealing shouting "YOU'RE GONNA RUIN YOUR LAPTOP WITH THAT SUPERGLUE!!!" Highly entertaining to watch, not gonna lie. Gordon Ramsay has his Moon in Virgo - it’s conjunct Uranus and Pluto so that’s an extreme but I think him being fed up with people over small inconsistencies in their food prep is a perfect example of this energy (btw his chart is hilarious, it literally explains EVERYTHING). They're VERY picky with their food as well, just as Virgo Suns tend to be. Like, they’ll only have a specific type of single origin coffee or they’ll be vegan or something. Self-critical over their work, which is a plus... except for when finishing a simple task takes them a few hours because they want to make it perfect. They take everything seriously. This of course doesn't mean they're total bores - on the contrary, Mercurial energy gives them witty approach and a talent for choosing the right words at the right time. Tho they can be a bit awkward or shy with it. Can be as bubbly as Gemini but the grounded earthy energy gives them more practical and almost nurturing nature - earth signs are providers after all and Virgo is the sign of service - helping others is like their second nature. I’ve noticed they often find comfort in devoting themselves to a choosen task - this is why if they pursue something, they’re really good at it. They’re also very likely to dissect their emotions.

I’m not a fan of water Moons in general but Pisces Moon is the best water Moon in my opinion. Maybe because I like Pisces overall. I think it’s like a tweaked Sagittarius Moon - just more internalized, withdrawn & gloomy. But unlike Sag, who has a tendency to be an adventurous optimist, Pisces likes to focus on the negatives instead. Obviously, they can be very upbeat, they’re Jupiter-ruled after all, but there’s somehing whiny about them lol. Just like Sadges, they dream big and have their standards put up sooo high but if there's not much active energy in their charts, they’re often too passive to actually fullfill any of that - or I should say, they’re stuck daydreaming about it, believing it’ll just magically manifest for them... OR they do everything with an apathetic approach. What I do like about them is that they’re funny. And really chill - sometimes to the point of coming off as confused or hazy. I feel like a lot of them would just love to sleep all day... or sit by the lake and just think about the world. Most of them are also compassionate folks - again, maybe a bit too much. Hey Pisces, you don’t have to take everything to heart, it’s okay. On the bright side, they have big imagination and the ability to disconnect and just create. I have a few Pisces Moons in the family: one’s that sleepy artistic type with grand visions, one is an asshole-ish but funny entrepreneur with a questionable work ethic and one is a witty IT guy who’s actually a workaholic and likes to shut in his own world of computers and numbers or whatever he does there... So there’s this factor of tunnel vision, escapism and, on the more negative side, being kinda iffy and almost addicted to the way they want things to be. Once they set their eyes on something it’s done deal…

My issue with Capricorn Moons is that they're often trying to be sooooo mature omg, like, loosen up a bit. It usually starts when they're in their later teens... They can be the most rebellious kid that likes to have fun and suddenly they'll be like "I'm too old for this ugh grow up" *judgmental stare*. My 18-year old niece once literally roasted my sister that she's in her 30s and still doesn't have her own place (well so do I so I guess she also indirectly roasted me as well???). And she was SO deadpan with it. Because she herself wants to be independent and start a family before turning 25. This is classic Capricorn Moon energy. They suck out joy out of everything lol. Of course, OF COURSE, it depends on the whole chart but I feel like worst-case scenario is that at one point in their life (or maybe even a few times throughout it) they go through a massive shake-up that makes them change their attitude and re-evaluate their structures. There's this multi-instrumentalist Yvette Young - she's a sweet, funny Cancer/Leo mix but her Moon is in Capricorn. She used to be a competitive pianist but the pressure that was put on her has led her to severe health issues. Like yes, she’s now an extremely talented musician - thanks to family’s expectations & a rigid schooling system (Saturn) but it did cost her a lot. She has recovered since then but I think it's a perfect example of this energy. It’s very ambitious and hardworking but emotionally demanding in the sense that you have to actually put your emotions aside in order to deal with the rest. Another thing, because Moon can be associated with family, there's often a weird dynamic surrounding this topic. I don't think I've met a Capricorn Moon that had a completely healthy and happy relationship with their fam or one of the family members. Or, alternatively, there can be a strong bond between one of them but usually created in the atmosphere of hardships.

Last but not least, Cancer Moons. I had three school friends with this placement and all of them made this sad, whiny face as they said „oh I don’t knoooow anymoreee”  when they were feeling torned or frustrated. To be fair, two of them are water Suns so for them, it added to the mushyness. All Cancer Moons I know are family people or better yet, baby people. One of those school friends is now a guidance counsellor, working with kids; the other turned her instagram into a gallery of her own child after she gave birth. So much kid content, omg. There’s also something very indecisive about them… or I should say, hesitant. They’re not very fast at making decisions. Also, what’s interesting, they’re kind of like walking libraries, they remember a lot – so they store a lot of information in their brains just like air signs but they process it in a completely different way – emotional, obviously. I think this also makes them hold grudges a lot. For them it’s more of a question of „how does it make me feel?” rather than „how valid is it?”. There’s certain stubborness in them in that regard because they don’t keep their minds open. It’s also hard for them to walk away from people and situations, like a crab pinching you with its claws – it won’t let go. Sensitive but not easy to open up; very protective of themselves and their loved ones & they tend to shut down in their crab shells. But they may crave connection and the feeling of belonging. Also very caring and with a big imagination. They’re very receptive of their environment so mood swings are a thing for them.

[hotsummerdreaming]

clay hands • jemily

summary: jj decides to take up a new skill during her time off and she has hard time learning it so emily steps in to help.

warnings: none, but there are very obvious smutty undertones

words: 2093

!!! there's a chance you may have already read this story as it is mine and i am reposting it from a different account !!!

(this may be one of my favorite one shots i have ever written please enjoy <3)

JJ has decided to dedicate her time off from BAU and to start completing her bucket list and to finally "start" living. She went through it in her mind every single time she was sitting on a jet back home from case, always telling herself now I'll do it, but she never does. Once she's back in D.C. she goes back to her everyday routine and even during the days she's not supposed to work she always finds herself sitting in her home and looking through news in case she finds something the BAU might be interested in. But now after working her ass off for the last couple of years she got mandated month off. and so she decided it's finally time to start completing the imaginary bucket list in her head. for the first couple of days she tried out all she wanted to do. she did some things that were possible to do close to her home, and left some stuff that she needs to travel far to still on the list. one of the things she wanted to do was to learn how to speak some new language so she tried italian, but gave up after few days because she didn't have patience to do it. and one of the last things was to learn a new skill. she went through a lot of pages on the internet, trying to find the perfect one. she tried one or two but none really caught her attention. until she discovered pottery. she felt like she might like that one the most. as soon as she decided this is the right new skill for her she ordered all that she needed off of some websites and found a perfect spot for all the new things in her garage.

pottery wasn't really the best skill to learn for hot summer days. she spent days and nights in her garage bent over her new potter's wheel, sweating and swearing because for the life of her she couldn't figure out what to do or how to make anything look good or actually work without melting or breaking. when she didn't have her hands covered in clay she sat in her backyard reading all sorts of articles about making mugs and bowls. she could've sworn she has never cried more tears over such useless thing before. she was determined she needs to make at least one mug for each team member before she decides to drop the skill like she dropped all before this. no technique she found online helped or worked and jj was ready to just stop and sell all of the equipment to someone and then go to some nice resort in mexico and have herself a little vacation.

emily was like always checking up on jj to see if she hasn't lost her mind yet. of course jennifer lied to her and said she was having the time of her life, but in reality she was never this frustrated in her entire life. she made up lies about how she's tanning everyday and how she is just doing nothing and relaxing. it was strange to emily to hear that jj is not searching news from all around the country or calling the team every five minutes wondering if they don't need help from her. and so emily used all her breaking techniques on jj and got the fact that she's struggling with pottery out of jennifer, on her very first try.

"it's not so bad!" jj was still trying to convince emily that she does not need to come over and take the wheel miles away from her. "i already got 2 mugs done!" the frustration was very obvious in jj's voice.

"i don't believe you. look i have day off tomorrow i'm gonna come over and we're figure something out, okay?" there was no way jennifer was going to say no to emily coming over.

"fine," jj rolled her and as soon as she hung up the phone she got back to the wheel and tried to learn herself how to do it properly.

she spent entire night in that garage trying to find a way she could make it work but nothing, absolutely nothing was working. it wasn't just her hands that were now covered with clay it was everything around her; the floor, the wall, all of her clothes and somehow even the ceiling. there was a big pile of used clay in a bucket next to her legs that was being filled up minute by minute as jj kept throwing every single thing she created in there. jj eventually fell asleep on the wheel.

in the morning jennifer was woken up by her door bell. she got up fast and rushed to open the door. as she expected emily was standing behind them, smiling with two cups of coffee and some pastry in her hands. it's like she knew jj had no time to eat or drink anything.

"i thought i might make you little happier if i brought your favorite croissant and coffee. come on sit down here and just for a second forget about that stupid pottery" emily waved her hand in her direction.

jj slowly walked to her, taking of her very dirty apron. she took the coffee emily brought her and sat down on the bar stool next to the kitchen bar. she looked up at emily who had very worrying look in her eyes.

"look at you" she wiped a clay off jj's cheek that she must've got there when she fall asleep on the wheel.

"so how have you really, you won't like what i'll do if you lie, been?" emily sat down now too, and their eyes met.

"i've been fine. just a little frustrated, but nothing too serious" jj quickly broke the eye contact when she went and took a sip from her coffee.

"jj, you know that i know when you're lying, right? because now i really do know it. just look at yourself. you're covered from head to toe in clay, your hair looks like it hasn't been washed in many days and the stupid clay is now all over your face too. so if you weren't struggling as much as you are, you would be completely clean. so, after you finish your breakfast, you're gonna go upstairs, take shower and put on clean clothes. after that you're gonna come back to your garage and i'll show you how to do it properly" emily ordered jj in a very caring but also a little bit angry voice, that really worked on jennifer.

"you know how to use the wheel?" jj giggled a little.

"i might've taken some pottery classes in my day" emily shrugged her shoulders and rushed jj to finish eating and going to fix herself.

while jj was in her bathroom, washing her self for the first time in many days, emily took all of her stuff to the garage and took a look at jj's failed work. there was so much clay in that entire room that a whole pottery class could use it for their works. emily sat down by the wheel and tried how it works. it was very smooth and good since the whole machine was completely new, but somewhere in the back of her head she imagined jj broke it after using it for only couple of days. she took a bit of clay from jj's bucket and tried to create some sort of bowl. it has been many years since emily took pottery classes so she wasn't really sure what she was trying to prove when she came over and told jennifer she's going to teach her how to do it.

after few minutes emily could hear upstairs bathroom door open which signaled her that jj was ready and it was time to start teaching her. emily placed her bowl on a counter near by and stood up from the small wooden chair.

"so, are you ready?" emily smiled and jj who nodded and walked over to emily.

for a few moments they just stood there looking at each other in a complete silence. emily shook her head and walked over to another wooden chair she saw in the corner of the room and brought it back to where jj was standing.

"come on sit down on that one" emily pointed at the chair right next to the wheel.

jj sat down, put her hair up and looked back at emily who was now placing the other wooden chair behind hers. emily deeply inhaled and then when she exhaled jj could feel the soft air at the back of her neck which made her hair stand. emily moved a little closer to her and looked over her shoulder.

"don't worry, we'll figure it out. i'm going sit right behind you and lead the way, okay?" emily's lips were close to jj's ear and the sound of her voice now made all jj's hair stand up.

jj just nodded and she settled down in her chair. "okay, take the clay and put it on the wheel" emily suggested with her head and jj did as she was told.

emily's hands were now on top of jj's, which kept jj in shock and she froze for a moment. emily had to make sure everything was okay and they continued.

"use both hands and firmly make a hill-like shape, just like so" emily pushed into jj's hands and lead the way.

"make sure there are no bumps or anything" she looked over jennifer's shoulder and helped her make sure that everything is good.

"and now take your one finger and create a hole in a middle" emily's finger was now on jj's finger and together they made a hole into the clay. "take your other finger and lift up the sides of the clay" emily said softly into jj's ear.

they were sitting there, tied up together. after many days jj felt relaxed and not frustrated at all. she finally felt like she knew what she was doing. she was determined she didn't need help but now that emily was there, holding her hand, helping her build a skill, something she wanted to do as long as she remembered. maybe this is could not be only her bucket list, it could be theirs, jennifer thought for a second when emily's hand was pushing onto hers.

"aaand here you go. a vase. wasn't so hard right?" jj could feel emily's smile on her cheek now that the comfort zone between them was unexisting and they were sitting there tangled up as one.

they sat there in silence for a little while looking at the vase together. it was beautiful for sure.

"thank you, very much em" jj broke the silence, which suprised emily and she stood up immidiately.

"you're very much welcome. i think that from now on you will have no problem in creating anything from clay, this is just the basics you can apply to all of the other things such as mugs, you know" emily's eyes were still pinned on the vase and jj could see a slight shade of red in her cheeks. "i think i should go and leave you up to your imagination" emily smiled took off her apron and started walking towards the garage door.

"thank you so so much again. you were really a huge help, seriously without you i would probably cover the used clay. i think you'll know what gift to expect once i'm back at work" jj winked and emily laughed.

"there's nothing to thank for i just passed on the knowledge. anyways, enjoy the rest of your break" emily winked back and walked out of the house.

jj stood there watching emily leaving. they waved at each other when emily drove off. jennifer smiled to herself as she watched emily drive down the street. she was proud of herself for being able to tick off another thing of her bucket list and perhaps brag in front of spencer on how much she knows about pottery, she was sure that at this point she knew more than he did.

she sighed and came back inside. she leaned her back against the door and looked back at what just happened. perhaps the next thing she'll tick off her list will be confessing her love to someone.

[momo-de-avis]

Hello, my lovely uncle is going to Lisbon for the first time ever at the age of 71. What are some things that you would suggest he see, that aren't in most of the tourist books? He's quite active for a 70yr old! He mentioned the Gulbenkian and I thought you might know some other art museums that are less well known. Thank you :)

(I'm going to link something to every suggestion, and if possible, in english so you can check more)

Gulbenkian is a great choice, beautiful garden, lovely place to have a cup of coffee or a cup of tea or a cake or whatever, and the museum (the main museum, I believe the Modern Art Centre is currently closed but am unsure) is one of my favourites (and there's currently a temporary exhibit on Hergé, about Tintin, if he is interested). It's a REALLY good Museum, it has a fantastic collection, I highly advise him to go see it, guarantee he will love it.

The Museu Nacional de Arte Antiga is also a safe bet, it takes quite a while to see it whole but it's got a great collection and an amazing view.

I think a lot of people skip Museu do Fado, but it's genuinely one of the loveliest museums I've visited, and since it's in Alfama, you can have a lovely walk in the neighbourhood, have something to eat there and overall enjoy a nice afternoon. The museum, in my opinion, does seem small but it requires some time. There's a lot of interactive stuff because it's about music, so things to listen to, clips from movies, etc. And it has some great art as well. The staff there is also lovely, I genuinely loved my experience there.

This one might not be news to him, it generally isn't for tourists because it's a common suggestion in like booklets and stuff like that, but I say this because for us it's a well hidden gem that not many portuguese people visit (or even know of) and it can be a bit confusing to reach (there are buses that stop right in front of the museum's doors, they have that info available on their website too). I mean Museu do Azulejo.

There are a lot of places downtown you can just discover by having a walk. You can climb up the Triumphal Arch in Rua Agusta (I personally think it's more worthwhile than the Santa Justa Lift, the queue is simply not worth it and the view of the arch is better anyway).

There's the Lisbon Story Centre, which is like a compact, flash history of the city but done, I personally think at least, very well and in a kind of fun away at times. I actually REALLY enjoyed this museum, and it's pretty small, you can see it all in like 1h-1h30.

Still downtown, you've got Church of São Domingos, which as opposed to the Cathedral, you don't have to pay to get in (though I still advise going there hehe) and it's a super interesting church because it got WRECKED during the 1755 earthquake but through time they decided to let the church stay the way it, well, remained after the earthquake, and it's got a grim vibe inside (and I'm pretty positive it's got one of these MFs inside, and looking at a Senhor dos Passos up-front is an experience). It's also next door to this absolutely iconic place, and I highly advise your grandpa to stop there, ask for a Ginja served in a chocolate cup, and enjoy the bliss.

There's a lot to see in the downtown area: you've got the oldest running bookstore in the world; the famous and historic café Brasileira, in front of which sits Fernando Pessoa, a place associated with the modernist circles of the early 20th century; the Maria II National Theatre, which is just an interesting piece of neo-classical architecture to see, especially how it fits into the urbanism of the area, especially with one of the few (to me) valid examples of portuguese calçada (the first one ever built) in the square; up in Carmo there's the Convent of Carmo with its Archeological Museum, which is another of those places that looks unfinished I believe because the earthquake also fucked it up but it was never restored, and right in front of it there's the memorial to Salgueiro Maia (if he visits Lisbon in April and happens to be there on the 25th, it'll be covered in red carnations because people still leave them there on the day to honour him).

Speaking of the 25th of April, I almost forgot, now THIS is a true jewel to visit in Lisbon. It's a fairly new museum (it's like.. 5 years old I believe?) and not so very well known (hell, even I haven't been there yet), but it's about a very important piece of our history which is political prisoners and the State Police's abuse during the dictatorship. I'm talking about Museu do Aljube (it's in Alfama).

I feel obliged to add the Castle in here, but I generally don't advise it unless the person has got time and money. I only think it's worthwhile if there's some event going on, otherwise the only thing I believe is worth your time seeing in it is the old ruins of the Alcáçova and its archeological remnants from the Moorish occupation. But going up there and just kind of enjoying the view (there's an amazing viewpoint right next to it) is definitely worth it. The walk can be tiring (I mean, it fucking annihilates me lmao) but there's tramcars and a tiny bus, so not to worry about it.

Still near Alfama (I'm actually not sure if it's within Alfama or not lol) you've got the Roman Theatre. It's not just the roman theatre, there's a small archeological museum beside it.

This one is part of the Lisbon Museum, which itself is located far outside of the downtown area (the Pimenta Palace, in Campo Grande), and I'm going to be very honest, it's only worth visiting it depending on what the current exhibits are. HOWEVER, the museum is located within the Bordalo Pinheiro gardens, it's free, and it's an incredible place to see because of its sculptures (do mind the dumbass peacocks over there, they are EVERYWHERE). These are a part of an often forgotten museum that stands across the street from the gardens, called the Bordalo Pinheiro Museum, and as a fan of the Bordalo Pinheiro brothers, I always recommend it, mostly because you get to see their lesser known artworks like caricatures, drawings and sculptures.

Back to downtown, there's a museum I've been avoiding mentioning because, to be very frank, I used to love it but I genuinely hate how it's being run these days, and they turned it into a dumbass place. It's the Contemporary Art Museum of Chiado (or Museum of Chiado for short, you'll find that everyone calls it this instead). First of all, the name is deceiving. It's not about contemporary art per se (if you want to see true contemporary art, there's MAAT, which has two buildings and it's enormous. I actually really liked this one, but I have yet to visit one of the buildings (the modern one), but this one is in Belém. I'll get to Belém in a second haha). The museum is actually about 19th and 20th century art, but they changed the policies around there and there is no "permanent collection" anymore, meaning that, they arranged the museum to only show temporary exhibits, which, in my humble opinion, is dumb as fuck. To if you're looking to get in there and see what 19th and 20th century art looked like, generally, in Portugal, you will be disappointed. It truly pains me to say this, but I don't suggest this museum because it's being run by a bunch of idiots. However, do check the exhibits they have going on, occasionally there is some good stuff in there, and it might be worth it.

In Alfama again, if your grandpa is interested in literature and is a fan of Saramago (or not and just wants to get to know him), check Casa dos Bicos (again, you just walk right by it on your way to Alfama, these are things you can just accidentally discover, but a lot of people miss them, and I actually understand why). The Saramago thing though is only part of it. Casa dos Bicos used to be a governor's palace in the colonial era, so you'll find a lot of history to go through there.

In Terreiro do Paço, there's a spot people don't usually visit or even know exists, but they sometimes have some kick ass exhibits over there, it's the West Tower. I've only ever been there for a Goya exhibit, but I think the whole thing is more focused on military history and such.

Speaking of the military, there's (right outside Alfama) the Military Museum. I'm personally not a fan, and I've heard some complaints about it, but for people who are interested in military history, weaponry and such, there is some great things to see, as well artworks by some great artists.

Adding a few people don't generally visit or aren't aware of them: the Saint Vincent Monastery (if you want to be literal, Saint Vincent of the Outside lmao), the Madre de Deus Convent (the website is not translated, but you can see photos), and I'll add a few Miradouros: Santa Luzia, Graça, Portas do Sol.

Now, outside of the downtown area:

I know you asked for hidden corners, but I can't leave out the Tower of Belém. Going inside can be worth it, but expect it to be a little full. I say it's worth paying a ticket to go inside because you can see up-close the incredible details of its architecture.

Most people don't know this (I suspect not even tugas), but the Jerónimos Monastery encompasses THREE different museums and exhibition spaces, it's how fucking big that thing is. There's the Archeological museum (the webpage doesn't have an english version, which reinforces what I was going to say about it, which is that, however a museum full of extremely interesting pieces, when you step inside, you're pretty positive that thing stopped in time around 1978 or something), the Marine Museum, and the actual monastical complex of the monastery. Just a thing about Jerónimos: you DON'T pay to get into the main church, you only pay to visit the monastic complex, but the church is still active, as in, there's mass and weddings and baptisms there, so it closes at like, 5.30 or 6 for the 6.30 mass.

There's also Museu dos Coches, the famous café where you can get Pastéis de Belém (absolutely tell him to go there, and tell him not to worry about the long ass queue he'll find outside. The people there are used to it and they have a system that is so efficient you don't actually have to wait long, they're super fast about it. But please, tell him to try those motherfuckers cause they are divine). There's CCB, inside of which is the Berardo Museum (it... can be a good collection, on some things at least. Others, not so much. And trust me, I want to talk smack about this museum, but they have incredible works of art in there, despite the fact that the collection itself is very... eh. Weird)

Also, there is a new Art Deco museum (I think it opened last year?) but I just checked and.. it's only guided tours and requires a reservation? And also includes wine tasting? Idk man Joe Berardo is off the shits, just skip this one.

I'm going to just. Risk it. But there's Museu do Traje, which is dedicated to the history of fashion. The last time I was there I was like. 7, idk. And it's located in (I have to say this) the fucking ugliest part of Lisbon possible. Like, absolutely nothing attractive in there. It's so painfully ugly. But it's got a good collection, and it saddens me more people don't know about it

Okay, these are just from the top of my head. Lisbon is the kind fo place where you'll kick a stone and find three churches under it lmao. I always advise people to have a walk on foot around the downtown area, but especially around Alfama and Mouraria. Forget about the tuktuks, unless there's a mobility issue (which, from what you said, doesn't seem to be the case).

Also, since it's your grandpa, I'm going to leave a restaurant suggestion here. I went there years ago, so I'll be honest, I don't know how much it costs, if it's too expensive, or even if it requires a reservation. And to be honest, finding a spot to listen to Fado in Alfama/Mouraria is fairly easy. But I loved that place so much. The lights dim every 15 minutes and a new fado singer comes along, and they switch between Fado and Fado Corridinho (happy fado). But again, it's a bit upscale (and I think it got even MORE upscale in the last few years, unfortunately).

I hope this long ass post helps hahaha if you have any questions or anything, don't hesitate to shoot me another ask, I'll gladly provide! I hope your grandpa has a kick ass time here and really enjoys the city!!

Edit: God fucking dammit you said UNCLE not GRANDFATHER, what the fuck man. I’m sorry for mistaking it or, well, not knowing how to read 😔