#i just cant wait for it to be over lmao
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
one-word dialogue starter call (to clarify it's just the dialogue that will be one word)
#as always !!! please specify muse <3#im putting myself through a fun little challenge#clearly i love being challenged... mentally...#the dialogue is gonna be just one word (bc if im gonna have to write starters im gonna make it difficult for the both of us)#my bf leaves next week to go home so i will def have a lot of empty time on hand#just prepping myself for it (ignore the whole disseration that is still pending)#bro im like 250 words down... i have to write 6000#but i still have 2 months so it's fine i'll be okay#i just cant wait for it to be over lmao
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
prince!ghost and lord in waiting!soap
ghost is a warrior prince, next in line after king price and it’s always been accepted he would be the lone ruler; never one for entertaining the courts or indulging foreign rulers trying to consolidate their power. he hardly acts like a prince at all, in name only when he spends more time as a pseudo captain of the guard. price has never begrudged him that, not when he himself has been a lone king since his inauguration
though he’s a warrior prince, he’s never lost the favour of the people; many see him as a guardian even if he doesn’t interact with the people as much as benevolent and stalwart king price. who he does interact with is the kingdom’s children; always ready to bend a knee and listen to bright voices, to praise stick swords and shields or hear the plight of a struggling family. it was a common belief that if he wasn’t out protecting, then he was with the protected; face covered, blonde curls shining in the sun
soap’s always loved ghost. as his lord in waiting, it’s been his job to attend him since they were young and even as a child, he’d idolised him; his skills in battle, his surety. he thought his life would be nothing but service, clothing a brat prince and making sure his shoes shined. but ghost has proven more than that; he treats him as an equal, consults him on strategy and court politics and over time that idolisation turned into love
and ghost has always felt the same. he’d begrudged the idea of a lord in waiting, not wanting someone always in his business but then came this spitfire who never missed an opportunity to push back on him; to make him dig deeper. johnny is more than some mere servant; he’s his confidant, his best friend, his… everything. he could be simon with him, not prince ghost
but simon figures that out too late
king price gets word from king shepherd, a kingdom they’ve only recently stopped feuding with and he’s offering up his son, prince graves, as a way to bond their kingdoms together and firmly put war behind them. price is ready to deny him, he doesn’t fear war from shepherd, when he sends some ancient laws that leave him unable to refuse. he hates it, hates that he’s ruining ghost’s happiness and feels like he’s betraying his adopted son but there’s nothing he can do
graves comes to their kingdom within the month and it’s clear from the moment he walks through their gates that he’s the opposite of ghost; arrogant and conceited, his ceremonial armour glossy and untouched by battle. he’s dismissive of their servants, of their ways, of their people and ghost hates him
graves insists that the wedding happen as soon as possible, pushing the craftsmen and cooks beyond their limits to prepare and every moment ghost spends with him, the more he dreads his wedding day. every evening he retreats to his room, exhausted, and it’s all johnny can do to keep him afloat; trying to keep him positive as ghost falls away and simon breaks in his arms. he wants to whisk him away like the old tales, the pain his oldest friend and love is in making his heart ache but all he can do is promise to be there with him
but it seems graves wants to take even him away
“soap’s been my lord in waiting since we were children,” ghost protests, voice barely clinging to civility. “i wouldn’t want to lose such a valuable worker.”
“there are plenty of decent servants in our kingdom; you’ll forget this one soon enough,” graves waves away, carding a possessive hand over his curls and it’s only bc he’s looking for it that soap sees ghost’s jaw twitch beneath his neck gaiter. “it’s custom for one marrying into our kingdom to embrace all that it has to offer, leaving who they were behind to become someone better. you’re entering a new life with me; you don’t need the baggage of this dreary place.”
soap feels sick as he walks behind them, his blank expression hiding all sign of his breaking heart.
“soap is beholden to me,” ghost declares. “we were sworn together by the old laws. i’m afraid a custom isn’t enough for me to break a vow to the gods.”
graves lets out a disgruntled noise, tugging harshly at one of ghost’s curls with only a thin veil of fondness; his conceding smile not reaching his eyes.
“i never made a vow to the gods,” johnny points out later. “price gave me to you because he was sick of me setting fire to the kitchens.”
simon hums and sets his freshly cleaned armour aside, turning to him with a twinkle in his eyes he’s barely seen since sheperd’s missive. “you pinkie swore that you would never leave me; that’s more powerful than any promise to the gods,” he says and soap’s thrown back fifteen years, to a willow tree big enough to touch the sky; to two boys from different stations who didn’t care that one was dressed in silk and the other in scraps.
johnny feels a lightness he hasn’t in a month as simon winks at him. “besides, do you really think graves is smart enough to figure it out?”
the days pass quickly, graves’ veneer of affection growing ever thinner, and before either of them are ready, it’s the eve of ghost’s wedding.
he’s said nothing, done nothing but stare at the wedding robes graves had tailored for him in the fashion of his kingdom and johnny doesn’t know how to break the silence. he draws out each second as he fusses with the cape piece and ensures the shoes shine in the fire light until he has no more excuses.
he sighs as he straightens up, brushing off polish onto his pants. “i suppose this is where i leave you,” he says with a weak smile but it quickly dies when simon still doesn’t look at him. “i’ll be here in the morning to help you get ready… good night, simon.”
johnny bows and makes for the door, trying to convince himself he didn’t just say goodbye.
but he’s stopped by simon’s hand loosely wrapping around his wrist.
he looks back as simon finally tears his eyes away from the robes, looking at him with such clear longing it almost brings him to his knees.
“i don’t want graves to be the first man to touch me, johnny,” he confesses and johnny’s breath hitches. “i don’t want to be married to another… not when the one i’m set to wed isn’t you. but if i have to do this… please let me feel loved one final time.”
simon’s thumb brushes the back of his hand; their kingdom’s greatest warrior caressing him with a touch light as silk. he doesn’t pull johnny in, doesn’t need to; johnny’s already sinking into his touch.
desperation and love tinge every movement; johnny dancing his fingers over simon’s neck gaiter until he all too happily removes it, baring his scarred cheeks and lips. johnny kisses each one, willing his love and his touch to linger above all others as they move together; sharing breath, sharing body, sharing soul the way they wish they always have.
when ghost makes his way down the aisle, it’s not in the fine embroidered robes graves had laid out for him. he’s in his battle armour; dark and weathered, the sign of the ghost, the warrior prince, going to battle. the only thing missing is his helm, tucked under his arm.
showing his hair; curls gone and shaved tight to his skin.
a thing done only in a time of great mourning.
graves looks irate and it’s the only spark of joy ghost feels as he stops before the altar; set beneath the willow tree where johnny promised himself to him. one final insult.
ghost is silent throughout the ceremony and in spirit and in grief, so is the entire gathered kingdom until the priestess reaches the final vows and suddenly, a great roar rises above the crowd as seemingly every child in the kingdom swarms the altar.
ghost is too shocked to do anything but let them push him away from graves, bullying their way between them like they’re preparing to protect him just as he’s always protected them.
graves is furious but the children stand firm in the face of his threats until he moves to strike one-
and freezes as soap’s blade finds his throat.
“you would dare hurt these children?” he growls, sword following graves as he stumbles back. “you’ve kept up your charade the entire time and here is where you show your true colours. i think it’s time i show mine.”
graves splutters as johnny turns to the priestess and king price, falling to one knee and offering up his blade. “your grace, i wish to challenge prince graves for the hand of prince simon!”
his voice rings clear and he feels the eyes of every person in the kingdom.
but he only cares for one man.
who is watching him with more love than he’s ever felt.
“who are you to challenge me?” graves sneers. “you’re nothing more than a servant; no better than the dirt on my boots.”
johnny doesn’t bother to look at him, too caught in the love in simon’s eyes and the grateful look on king price’s face. “then you should have nothing to worry about. you’ve been crowing your accolades from the rooftops since you got here; let’s see if you live up to the hype.”
because simon only ever introduced him as his lord in waiting.
never as sir soap- his second in command and one of the greatest swordsmen their kingdom has ever seen.
#soaps challenge over rules the law shepherd wrapped price up in and hes all too happy to grant it#and of course soap wins and the kingdom gets to witness the marriage of prince simon and sir johnny#im imagining soap as full highlander in the last scene#huge mohawk with braided sides running down his back kilt great sword the works#i dont know where this came from lmao i was half asleep listening to sick of losing soulmates by dodie and it was like i was possessed#which is my favourite type of inspiration i cant lie#laswell is the priestess and gaz is prices advisor or his lord in waiting im not sure#lord in waiting is the male equivalent of lady in waiting just btw as far as i know its like a personal handmaid#i did about half a second of googling then went of existing knowledge that could very easily be wrong#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john price#captain price#phillip graves#fic#au#save post
263 notes
·
View notes
Text
#persona 4#p4#persona 4 dancing all night#p4d#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#souyo#lmao i WISH i could make this up but even this shortened scene was exactly that#naoto and rise show up during the summer and yosuke's first comment to them isnt even hi its hey wheres yu#YOSUKE LISTEN BUDDY YOU ARE SO HEAD OVER THE HEELS LOVESTRUCK ALL YOUR EYES SEE IS YU#and thats so cute actually#also wait im sorry but i just realised yu is wearing a v neck tee in the summer scenes#as in yosuke's iconic tee shirt?? IS HE WEARING YOSUKE'S SHIRT?? DID HE TAKE ONE OF YOSUKE'S SHIRTS WITH HIM WHEN HE WENT BACK HOME???#GUYS IM GOING INSANE#something something haha they look like theyre in couple's clothing except im not even sure its a joke#the sameish tone of pale pink and baby blue the vertical vs horizontal stripes like omfg i swear#i cant make this shit up yall im either so far down the delulu hole or#i actually opened up this game to grab another screen shot but i got distracted by this extra chapter that ive missed#also yosuke's hair here is cropped shorter than usual and he looks so cute and his neck looks so bare without the headphones wait yosuke#are you showing off your neck to someone somehow-#/is shot#wait this is ALSO one of those few times we get to see yu's neck so prominently hes always wearing high collars otherwise#the lgtv alarms are going off
193 notes
·
View notes
Text
beautiful that we get a nice wet beast wednesday to start off mermay, no?
gay little fish but i made him look like a blue sea dragon
#tomioka giyuu#giyuu#loserboy giyuu posting#merfolk#mermaid au#neros art tag#wet beast wednesday#i was drawing the v1 au sabito but his pectoral & dorsal fins are SUCH a pain in the fucking ass (i havent drawn them)#and i cant look at other ppls mermaids bc nO ONE GIVES THEM FUCKING F I N S. THEY CANT FUCKING SWIM. LIKE THEYRE EELS INSTEAD OF FISH#i also dont think im gonna get to draw today bc my shoulder is being fucky for no reason >:( but i WILL to mermay shit on time this year#and not. september lmao#he big ol eyes....#oh yeah originally i didnt think much of it for v5 but now im thinking sakonji's head researcher and makomo & sabito are his two top team#also cute idea i might do for v5 on sbgy sunday is sabito gently moving giyuu around to get a good look at his patterning#then giyuu turning around to look @ him. oooo wait giyuu names him sunspeck but then sabito takes off his shirt and he gets to see#how he's speckled like that all over not just his face<3 hehehe i cant wait to draw that lpease i need to#oh yeah i didnt give sab freckles in that older pic. loser shit#??? giyuus neck looks weird long. ignore that
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh yeah ages ago i pulled on that banner that gives you a free six star right off the bat in your first ten pull out of curiosity on who id get and
i got one of the pinus squirrels! very cool.
#playing arknights#im wondering who should i build#im setting my eyes on e2ing jessica and courier#my packrat tendencies are absolutely preening at the number of my lmd and exp tickets i have now#don't really wanna build deg because of how high her deployment cost is. like nineteen? idk#i suck complete ass at this game i just want to big hammer things but this is a tower defense game. i cant only have one person be fuckoff#powerful and farming materials is kinda boggling my mind#i should really retry doing the dreaded 5-7#wait i haven't actually done 5-7 LMAO#OHHHH I REMEMBER NOW it was s5-3 i was having major pains over#i spend 20 of my plan things on it in the span of two days before i gave up and just started doing nothing but hoardig shit
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
it would be amazing if there were more reader insert that have a storyline about being family from your confort characters
#wait... im a writer??#found family#like i have over 20 characters i see as my parental figures.#and then you have characters like sonic who i see as siblings#rn i see Arthur morgan as my dad#its nice there are a few fanfics out there#but we need more tbh#lmao dont get me started on the 6 who i see as parents in just the hp universe bc i have it all sorted out HAHHAHA#Then we have apex... horizon mom coded#arthur morgan & reader#platonic relationships#parental figures#cmon i cant be the only one (bc im not)#like wdym persy jackson aint my cousin?#gonna write this#should i post it on tumblr too when I have written a few one-shots?#(i wrote 1k words in the last 4 months... am i cooked?)#gonna tag this as#arthur morgan#bc its about him rn#(finished the main storyline of rdr2 for the first time today... crying)#oh my god i spelled pj wrong thats rll embarrasing lmao#platonic f/o#f/o community
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
apologizing in advance for the person i will become when the next pjo show season comes out
#and the one after that etc#IM GOING TO BE SO NORMAL OK. ill be the normalest guy ever. nobodys gonna be more normal than me about this#iv. eive. been reading the pjo books (first time actually) and. I care them all so mcuh. the books ever#so so many things i cant wait to see in the show. ive been imagining how some stuff could be translated into the show as i read#im so excited ougfhhh i love these books. life changing reads and im not even really halfway done with them#i just started the third one today actually :mindblown:#i sat down just to read the first few pages before i go to sleep. and erm. i ended up sitting there reading the first ~60 pages for over#-an hour instead. Its so good man the only reason i stopped reading is bc if i dont go to sleep now ill pass out lmao#anygays i love pjo forever and ever and when the next seasons come out im going to be insufferable (/pos)#Also i feel like im always saying this but#im not actually apologizing like i said in the post. im not sorry for shit!! im having a good time#cam.txt#side note omfg i wish i didnt get so much of pjo spoiled its ruining my fun. everything couldve been so much more enjoyable#its my fault im always spoiling media for myself just bc of my insatiable need to know everything Smh. im my own worst party pooper.#a killjoy but not in the cool mcr “killjoys make some noise” way 😞😞 big ol spoilsport right here
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
I always thought is very tricky to draw that wrinkle that goes from the nose and around the mouth and still male it look good, but gosh you nail it in every art, super expressive and pretty. Looking at all your drawings 🔍🕵♀️ to properly appreciate and study it. But wow really in love with your art style is so expressive and pleasing to look at, and the colors are so pretty 👌👌👌👌
i LOVEEE drawing wrinkles!!! it makes faces soso so expressive and i try to add wrinkles to every character i draw whenever i can. and the fact i also love drawing characters smiling (they make me happy, so i want to be able to share my joy to other people by drawing them smiling too!) which of course makes that wrinkle around the nose and mouth more prominent :-)
im not a person that can draw well from memory, i use references excessively even if it doesnt turn out the same way from the reference im copying from in the end 😊
i drew these out real quick but i have no clue how to explain any of these so i just thought about sharing it with you anyways!
call it "cheating" or whatever, but most of the time i even trace over the reference just to have a base i can copy the expression im trying to draw from. i do art for fun and if it makes my process that much easier then. well!
anyhoo, ignore the fact these are all mr lassos... i just love him a whole bunch 💛
#im not saying 'tracing is good!' as a whole. never trace from other people's work and pass it off as your own obviously. i just think you -#can learn a whole bunch of tricks and how to draw specific things if you just Trace Over References#'ohh but youll never Get Good by just tracing though! :/' who cares. i love drawing men being silly and thats enough for me.#Getting Good be damned!#apologies if this doesnt make any damn sense LMAO !! i just got home a couple hours ago and its now 3am zzzz#pn.ask#theres also the matter of me being obsessed with handlebar facial hairs and how it 'removes' the upper lip when im drawing so i use the -#bottom part of the mustache as the line for the mouth itself#ITS THIS WHOLE PROCESS.... IDK!!!! wish i could explain it any better but i am. so bad at writing down my thoughts. why cant i just beam -#them directly into your mind smh#THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK THOUGHHHH i waited till i got home before answering it because i have some stuff i wanted to say
74 notes
·
View notes
Note
Is that character gay? *points at Mine*
Allegedly.
#snap chats#depends on what day you check the wiki. schrodinger's homosexual#i couldnt FATHOM showing mine to my mom i know she'd be so annoying 😭😭😭#actually i cant even imagine what'd happen. 'is he gay' 'yeah' 'oh-' LIKE WHAT. WHAT NOW MOTHER WHAT HAVE YOU SAY TO THAT#like i think my mom asks that so much as a cope for my existence when i dont even like men mom As Per Usual mother you got it wrong#she's so weird because her. 'best work friend(? boss?)' is gay so she doesnt care about gay people she just doesnt like. me LMAO#but my moms selective hating aside i do wish i could show her characters i like#not because i want to bond with her but because it always seems funny when everyone else does it with their parents#but id just be too embarrassed ... or i can just imagine her saying like. every other chara is scary lookin. or ugly. liek my grandma did 💀#my sisters keep telling me to show her daigo since they think he looks like our dad and im always tempted to#god wait that just reminds me how when i did a daigo cosplay last year my dad saw me and he was like 'you're like a mini me :)'#like .... cmon dawg youre not helping LCKAEJLKCJAE love him. hope to see him again soon <- literally just saw him#wait while im rambling my dad came over and our 'uncle' (no actual relation just dad's friend) gave us. 12 fucking bottles of wine#when no one in this house drinks enough to warrant TWELVE BOTTLES ?? so funny. at least my sis and her husband drink#and i have one (1) friend who drinks LOL so thats cute. do i have any other unnecessary lore bits to drop before i disappear for a week#our ac broke and its been hot as balls. yeah thats it thats the end of it see you guys next week
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh also princess's surgery is tomorrow and at least i'll finally get a definitive cost for it but also in addition to her heart being in the wrong place it's irregularly shaped and we dont know if that means anything Bad or she was just born like that and it could introduce complications so i am stressed :)
#oversharing but im the weird nv where i cant talk to people but i can post so yall get my anxiety instead#btw her name. is not princess. i just call her that when talking about her to people i dont know irl for some reason#like i call her that to my boss even but not my friends lmao#mylife#things i am waiting for: 1) this surgery to finally be fucking over please it's been months/years#2) taxes to happen so i can find out if i get any of this Back because i would like it please and thank you#unfortunately i will not know that until April and I shouldn't (hopefully) be in a crunch by then anyways but ill take what i can get
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Floridada
Spommy week 2024 - prompt “Florida”
Enjoy the drabble i made for the prompt a few week ago when I first heard of spommy week and got inspired by the prompt for the second day - Florida! Hope this gets me out of my writing posting hiatus to post something silly - maybe this could become something more one day!
I was inspired by @funeralroast to post this! And thank you to the creators of this and the rarepair smosh server for everything and for inspiring me everyday <33
“What are you doing here?” Spencer gasps as the hot chocolate cup that was warming up his hands in the hot weather flips back all over him.
Tommy gasps. “Oh shit! Im so sorry! mean… wait what are you doing here?” He recognizes those eyes anywhere.
They were both visiting their small town that they grew up in for the annual Christmas in summer jingle jangle stockings and crazy fun times fairytale lighting nighttime Christmas tree hanging stockings and hanging wreaths ball Christmastime but not actually Christmas because its summer jingle ball jangle ball Christmas bulb bash thats actually not during the winter because its more fun to have Christmas in the summer as well, but we also have Christmas during the usual time in the winter, so its more fun that way and we get more of the Christmas spirit all year round.. festival ball bash and they would never miss it.
Until both Tommy and Spencer decided to move out to the big city of LA and New York, both big seperate worlds that decided that they could work there instead of help out at their family farms against their seperate parents better interest.
The apple sauce farm and the chicken coop farm, the first owned by the Bowe family and the second by the Agnew family.
They didn’t really know why they separately decided to get on a plane and make their way all the way back to their family home, but they did.
Maybe it was the way Tommy’s mother’s voice sounded different. Older. Sadder than last year when he couldn’t make it. She wasn't trying to hide her disappointment this time.
It was the same for Spencer. His father had called him with a gruff voice, begging him to come back in his own cold way.
“We miss you son. The chickens miss you.” Which was weird for an Agnew, so he was on the next plane over.
His father had cancer, and didnt know how to tell him. So he didnt. His mother had to tell him. Over a zoom call. How sterile.
“Oh so youre here for the…” they both repeat the dumb long ass title in synch for the event that they were pulled back into celebrating because it was a bad omen to not say it every time you mention it or else a bad Christmas. Or something. So they would always say the entire thing, no matter how much time they had to wait, or if they were ever running late somewhere. Like all of those dumb Hallmark movie titles.
#spommyweek2024#spommy week 2024#i also have a fic for the first day but that’s like my baby and im still nurturing it rn so i will hopefully post that by the end of the wk#spommy#feral teeth fics#feral teeth smosh fics#feral teeth spommy fics#holy shit my first (posted) spommy fic!#love the boys sm so#<33#also cant wait to share the first days prompt holy shittt#ive been working on it since january#!!#i bet you 20 bucks that none of you read that long ass title and just flitted over it w ur eyes#dont worry i do that too when im editing lmao#i saw the long ass title being made as a joke in a hallmark movie i was watching when it was just playing on the w network or something#when i wasn’t even really looking to watch anything you know?#just like#halfheartedly watching
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
unnecessary comparison of the day!
volume 5’s release of one of asuna’s chapters changed the subject of her stan twt cancellation posts from mona to miyu (of frusu)!
#there are also minor dialogue changes from the piccoma release to the volume versions but still~~~~#though ngl i love how asuna is the one who has received the most dialogue changes out of everyone in the series lmao#she received one in vol 2 when. like. no one else did iirc#ily asuna frusu i wanna k n o w your after story auauaauaaaaaaaaa#but. man. now im faced with a tough decision for vol 4.#do i or do i not have asuna cuss mona out in the name of localisation or should i just tl directly?#bc so far i’ve tried to tl asuna based on vibes and such as much as possible (instead of direct tls) sooooo#i just. wanna do her justice mannnnnnn. she’s a dumbass but she’s *my* dumbass yk?#but aside from that… i gotta try my best to come up with tls for the variety show segments auaaaaaaaa#i think my little theme of attempted alliteration would work? im sorry appare☆manten you’re sunny⭐︎skies now#hmmmmamamsmmdmdkdjdmdjdjdjdjse im sorryy im goinggngngng insaneeeee from the lack of lxl album shipping updates auauauaaaaaaaaa#p l s ship my album i n e e d to inject meoto into my veins#pls cmonnnnn you cant just suddenly up the shipping price by 20 bucks and *not* ship it on timeeeee#im gonna e a t d h l if it’s the last thing i do#m. maybe it’ll ship if i finish tling the vol 3 bonus chapter today (delusional) i hate waiting for parcels smmmmmm#ok insanity over i think i should get some dinner bye
14 notes
·
View notes