#i joke about kms so much but im so damn serious i would make a whole petition to get my teacher fired

[savnofilter]

I'm about so damn tired of this hating shit. I know you have no energy for this, Sav and I'm sorry but FUCK THEM bru. Like I'm so fucking tired of the shit. If y'all can't do nothing but hate on TUMBLR, y'all have no lives. And you need help. The fact that y'all would wish death on someone that hasn't done SHIT to you shows how much of a worthless POS you really are. Like bru, get a life. Deadass. It is never that damn serious.

it's the fact people either say im still mentally ill or that i never was. and it's people i have NEVER been close with. it took me about a year now to finally tell my closest friend on here what was actually going on irl that made me ill and some ways toxic. the rest is under a read more because idk what could trigger people.

i have said this before and i will say it again. my mental health took a decline because i got triggered by stuff on here in october 2019, paired with stuff in real life for the rest of the year and other factors that amplified my inability to be the person i was before. and while i knew that i wasnt okay, i didnt acknowledge or try to fix it until it was too late. do not invalidate my experiences and my growth from a year ago to try and feel like you have an upper hand with me. i know what ive done and ive taken steps to ensure im not like that again.

i worked on myself for fucking months so i wouldnt feel constantly drained or make the people around me worry. (tw) i was constantly sick from stress, i could barely move from anxiety, i vomited often and then gained weight because of how much i was scared of losing, i would have constant night terrors and then i ultimately harmed myself. i unintentionally hurt my friends and family because i thought no one cared about me. do NOT tell me that what i was and what happened to me isnt real because it WAS. i literally cant make jokes like "lol kms" without someone in my life worrying about if i actually am going to harm myself even months of me showing that ive gotten better.

not only is trying to gaslight someone to make their past mistakes seem worse than it is, it's not only disgusting but also it's obsessive. and to people who say that if you were at one point mentally ill, and that you have to stay like that forever or it never happened or it doesnt affect how you act -- IT DOES. if you have never been in a dangerous state of mind DO NOT TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. you are the toxic people who i hope are never in a position to help others. that mindset that you cant move forward or get better for yourself is harmful and nauseating. EDIT: also if you think minors cant experience traumatic things/have trauma and other mental illnesses, you deserve to choke on your own spit in your sleep. i hope you never have kids because you will undoubtedly be an emotionally and probably physically abusive parent. ♡

once i noticed i was becoming someone i didnt like, i worked my ass off to change myself and im not letting faceless losers try and tell me who i am. thats why i advocate for mental health and speaking up about what's going on because i want to help people prevent themselves from becoming someone they hate or even worse harm themselves.

no matter what state i was in my closest friends and followers supported me so i owe you guys the world. as always, i am so thankful for my followers, everyday and even then yall always had my back so thank you.

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #2 - “Shit ain’t over till the fat lady sings and I didn’t warm my pipes.” (Cameron)

Day 4: Well. I survived my first tribal council of the season, and even though it went exactly according to plan, while I slept my entire day away, I'm still really hesitant to tell myself that I'm doing well on my tribe. I'm really nervous that my tribe mates are playing me, and that I'm really boo boo tha fool here. I called Megan post-tribal, and I was finally able to get some closure on something that happened between us in our personal lives, which felt really good. After that, she asked me about the idol, to which I had responded "Wait, Julian didn't tell you?", which hopefully sows some seeds of doubt in Megan about Julian. Ideally, if the Enlil tribe has to go back to tribal council, the four of us can bear witness to a Megan vs. Julian war. Because unfortunately, the connections I have outside Enlil, are shared with either Julian or Megan. If Megan and Julian are going after each other pre-merge, or during a swap scenario, I don't have to share those connections anymore. After that, Megan and I just talked about the nudes we received during quarantine ~ I then promptly ran to Will to tell him about the potential crack I just formed between Julian and Megan, which was met with genuine excitement. I think I'm really gaining Will's trust, and I think we vibe so well together. Love that guy! Overall, it wasn't a very productive day because I woke up at 4:30p PST. Love that for me, thanks for shading me @ Tribal Bodhi.

going into this scavenger hunt as the tribe that went to tribal last is worrysome. It's a challenge that's fully dependent on our activity, so we are at a serious disadvantage against the other two tribes that get to choose someone less active to sit out. We don't have that luxury. The point/life system eases the blow, however, since we can get less active players 1 life while more active players can get 3. In case we lose, I'm trying to connect with everyone on the tribe. I really don't want to vote anyone out though. I have an alliance with Julian and JJ, and one with Will on the side. Chrissa wants to work with Julian, JJ and myself, and I think Megan and JJ have something on the side. I'm nervous for who would be the target in the vote, and any vote would hurt all of our games collectively. Hopefully we win because the next vote will not be easy AT ALL.

Done w typing this sheet

jj and zachary are so fucking annoying to this challenge and if i vote for you first at the swap, its probably because youre typing too much during this challenge sorry not sorry xoxo - sincerely johnny a month from now

let me be clear with andrew I was not calling his hosting unfair i was calling the fact that a majority green item giving him a point unfair not the hosting but lack of yellow, also i have a headache i don't feel that good. and I just don't think zach should have had a point for it nothing against hosting obviously i watch a movie trivia thing where literally they have a challenge to challenge any questions that are unfair, that doesn't mean they are calling the question writers or the answer writers unfair. 

Zach just won the tribal challenge for us which is fantastic. We can maintain the illusion of a unified tribe longer, which keeps us together in a swap situation, and Zach has clearly painted a challenge target on himself over the last two challenges which will make him go before me if our Triforce ever becomes the minority. I'm really happy with my position in the game right now

me and monty trying to find the idol and decode this annoying ass video https://imgur.com/a/lu7sbMu

Forgive me father for I have sinned it's been approximately three days since my last confession so far can't complain really we be winning they hating we be riding pretty damn clean I've got a majoritu alliance I didn't start so odds of it falling around me and being the first voted out slim to none thank the sweet baby jesis and all that good shit. Oh well that's all for now

JULIAN’S HOST CHAT GUEST, ZEE:

I am filling in a confessional because you told me to. I am in front of my fan because it's hot. I'm thinking that it seems pretty stupid to ask me for a confessional. Julian's prod chat isn't very interesting because he's distracted.

also just threw out madison's name to johnny. if this shit backfires on me ill be ):

https://youtu.be/Pqck1gayfJU

https://youtu.be/FMay7NycsPw

yo yo yo homies!!! fuck the scavenger hunt and the mobile Skype app !! Lowkey scared but I think I’m close with everyone on the tribe except madi soooooooooo that’s probably who will go tonight. I’ve connected a lot with Monty and am hoping we can work together closely moving forward 💕not sure how useful my relationship with Zach is going to be come swap/merge bc it seems like he’s ALREADY making himself a target like the big doof he is. More later 💋

https://youtu.be/Qg47yupj1bQ

https://youtu.be/vUK8A1qWVoA

Hello tumblr survivor world! Sorry I didnt confess for episode 1, I was going to but i accidentally exited out of the page when i almost finished writing it. Anyways, it was just a cast assessment for my tribe so tl;dr everyone on my tribe is great and its really sad that we have to vote someone out now. So this whole weekend I was away so I was REALLY worried that I would be voted out since I sat out of the challenge. But after talking to Johnny and Isabelle, it seems like Madison will be voted out tonight. Which is so bad bc this her first game in a year, but hey it's our first vote and it's not me so it's not really the time to make a stand. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Okay I took a break from writing this confessional and there's moreeeeeeeee so part 2 I guess. So I had a call with Johnny and we came up with an alliance of me, him, Isabelle, and Benji. What an iconic alliance, right? But also while Johnny and I talked we got onto the topic of idols and why it is that there hasn't been an idol post yet. I brought up that wayyyyyy back when in Malaysia and some other games around that time, some of the idol hunts were less clear cut. We ended up looking at the blog and clicking the "idol system" tab and it brought us to some weird crab video with audio that sounds like a pokemon cry? Idk part of me thinks its just a joke but I also have to consider that it might be SOMETHING. It said remember to like and subscribe so I sent a screenshot of me liking and subscribing to see if that would do anything but nope. Johnny said he'd do some thinking about it and get back to me later if he figures something out. Also tribal seems super clear cut so I'm a bit less worried now but y'know how it is I can't not worry about tribal.

i just spent $8 on a spectogram and STILL cant find this fucking idol im gonna kms... monty im sorry im steam rolling ahead looking for this thing without telling you, but thank you for the first clue xoxo... if i get stumped in the future ill reach out for SURE (but idt you trust me that much so this seems kinda valid to me) ((FOUR HOURS LATER: i told monty lololol)) ALSO FOR FUCKS SAKE I think madison is gonna go, and truthfully, im fine with it because it's the easiest thing to do due to her poor performance in the past few challenges and just being the least AROUND the tribe, but i know that it'd probably be better for me long term to get rid of abby because i just dont see her as a long term ally for me. i think she's close to JJ and Megan on the other tribe, and she's becoming much more acclimated to the tumblr survivor community that i just BET that she maybe has an additional connection on the rookie tribe. If I can attempt to break that up before we get to a swap, I think that's what im going to have to do figure out if we lose another challenge before a swap... i dont really want to see ANYBODY else go besides abby if im thinking about a second boot. i bet it wont be easy to take her out tho also, if madison goes, this is like...... lowkey vindication for game changers???? last night i talked about this with monty and i was like hmmmm "is it ugly to bring up past game history?" and his response was "not if it's within the same series" .... so. vindication

---

omg i just told madison how to find the idol system thing i hope she doesnt tell anyone i told her about it LMAO........ this almost seems too easy.i got added to two alliances today. why do i not feel safe? is it me going? WTF IS GOING ON

excited to be first boot because no one will TALK TO ME! 

Things haven’t changed much since my last confessional! As far as I know the tribe hasn’t started into alliances and we’re all riding some excitement at having so far avoided tribal. I think the rest of the tribe and I are all feeling good and just focusing on making the tribe switch without losing any members.

from round 2 https://youtu.be/fk002uG2HoI

Hi sorry I forgot to do a confessional this round so this will be short imma just say a few things 1. I don’t trust julian one bit he can stop being shady to me 2. I can’t believe we aren’t going to tribal I’m so fkn happy i was able to pull out the win for our tribe because I didn’t want to lose anybody else 3. I love and adore will with all of my being and he’s my number 1 ally right now 4. I find it highly doubtful that there’s only one idol in this game and that you can’t find it until merge but that’s as far as I can get in the idol search for now so I guess there’s nothing I can do about it 5. I’m still having fun can’t wait to fuck up another flash game yay!!!

My Purple edit is amazing right now. But having played more games than most of these newbies, I have decided to take on the role of teacher and becoming more of a "role model" for these newbies. I feel like I have the closest bond with Zach, and I need to get a little closer with Collin. I have Grace from past games, and then there are the others who I do not really have any strong bonds with at the moment. I guess I need to start going to them more and show that I want to work with them.

https://youtu.be/yhwXzqrTcsA Confessional 2 for round 2

https://youtu.be/TVnpwqc8XLY

Madison voted out 6-1

[z-odiology]

THE SIGNS AT AN ARCADE

*Aquarius and Pisces spent 5 months away in Europe dealing with business then came back*

Pisces: *breaks the door open* gUESS WHO’S HOME BINCHES

Cancer: pISCES *jumps onto Pisces and hugs them hard*

Pisces: oh my beautiful dog, i missed you too <3

Cancer: PISCES PLEASE STOP WITH THE DOG

Pisces: nevr

Cancer: ily anyway

Pisces: ly too dog<3

Scorpio: *internally screaming* where’s Aquarius?

Pisces: *grim face* they-

*window opens and Aquarius drops 10 ft onto the couch*

Aquarius: FORGET FLATLINING HELLO THE WEED DEALER IS HERE

Aries: wow just wow

Aquarius: u ok

Aries: maybe

Aquarius: ok

Virgo: yOU SWEET, INNOCENT, STUPID, DUMBASS CHILDREN WHERE WERE YOU

Aquarius: *smug* moneh

Pisces: *still hugging Cancer* monehss

Libra: so does that mean Sagittarius gets some more liptube

Capricorn: LIPSTICK 

Capricorn: oH NOW THEY’RE HOME HIH I HI WELCOME 

Pisces: Eyyyy

Aquarius: oi

Sagittarius: i heard liptube does that mean me and my chicks get to experiment mo- BROOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Aquarius: EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Leo: yay hurrah pls hush idc

Taurus: ohmigod now they’re home ey; don’t mind Leo, they’re just sad, still sad, because you guys left them

Leo: nO I’M NOT

Everyone: mmmhhhmmmm suree

Pisces: *drags Cancer with them and hugs Leo* shhhh

Everyone: *goes to Pisces and Leo and Cancer and hugs* we love you

Aries: Wait we didn’t give Aquarius a hug

Aquarius: nOPE DON’T NEED ONE 

Taurus: *walks over* everyone needs-

Aquarius: *sprints like flippin’ sonic upstairs and jumps onto a window and whispers* i’m not meant for warmth

Gemini: did Aquarius get touched a lot out there

Pisces: *still being hugged* let’s just say everyone wanted to see how much they could tolerate people

Gemini: and?

Pisces: snapped necks

Libra:…..oh

Aquarius: *poker face* :)

Sagittarius: yKNOW TO GET RID OF THIS TENSION, WE SHOULD GO TO THE ARCADE

Pisces: yES

*they go to the arcade*

Aquarius: w hat if  i snap

Sagittarius: their necks?

Aquarius: yes and something else

Sagittarius: what?

Aquarius: their-

Pisces: oKAY THAT’S ENOUGH LET’S GO

Cancer: LET’S TRY THAT JUMPING JACK THING

Pisces: yes

*Pisces and Cancer go to that jumping jack thing*

Sagittarius: well we could go hit on trees

Aquarius: boring

Sagittarius: we could joyride in Leo’s car

Aquarius: let’s take Leo with us

Sagittarius: *goes and gets Leo* let’s go loser

Leo: *being dragged away* hHAHAHAH WHERE HEH *feeling loved*

Sagittarius: joyriding

Leo: *stops* nUH UH WE ARE GOING FOR A DRIVE NOT A JOYRIDE

Aquarius: we shouldn’t have gotten you.

Leo: *sad* oh okay bye

Sagittarius: dammit Aquarius *gets Leo again* IT’S OKAY WE’RE GONNA GO FOR A DRIVE

Leo: yay 

*they all go outside and get in Leo’s car and start to drive around*

Leo: look at the scenery. it’s great, isn’t it?

Sagittarius: great :)) *punches Aquarius’ arm* right?

Aquarius: just great man :))))))))))

Leo: LOOK HOW PRETTY THE LIGHTS ARE

Sagittarius: ooooooooo

Leo: 

Leo:…….

Leo: WHERE’S AQUARIUS

Sagittarius: *turns around and sees that Aquarius isn’t in the back* oH SHIT DAMMIT WHERE’D THEY GO DAMM I T

Leo: *stops car* I’M GONNA KM-

*Aquarius falls off the car’s top*

Aquarius: *jumps up in front of car* I’M OKAY. I AM OKAY. IT IS OKAY. I AM OKAY

Sagittarius: run them over.

Aquarius: *the sweet release of life and the kiss of death shall be upon me, thank you dear lord-* 

Leo: NO I CAN’T NO WHAT THE HECK

Aquarius: *…….death pls come back tf man……* oh.

Sagittarius: *puts their head out the window* GET IN THE CAR AQUARIUS OH MY GOD

Aquarius: *shut up Sagittarius* whatever

Leo: nO need to be sALTy

Aquarius: shut your whiny ass

Sagittarius: eXCUSE ME-

Aquarius: you’re excused

Leo: WHAT IS UP WITH YOU

Aquarius: WHAT IS DOWN WITH YOU?

Leo: good point

Sagittarius: GET IN THE CARRRRRRRRR

Aquarius: *gets in the car*

Pisces: I *jump* WAS *jump* RUNNING *jump* THROUGH *jump* THE *jump* *jump* 6 *jump* WITH *jump* MY-

Cancer: HOES

Pisces: it’s woes

Cancer: why?

Pisces: because Drake is a Scorpio

Scorpio: dID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME

Pisces:…….by accident

Scorpio: so like…….did you want me here or like

Pisces:

Libra: no because they were talking about Drake, not you lol

Scorpio: KDKDJCJSJSNNDNZ

Aries: missed you 

Scorpio: good

Aries: no, like-

Gemini: sucks at aim remember

Aries: *clicks tongue* kachow

Scorpio: KERCHEW

Aries: oh

Libra: i’m

Libra: remember the cops at the strip club

Gemini: ya

Libra: good

Gemini: oh

Capricorn: shhhhhh Virgo shut up

Virgo: hahahaha

Capricorn: why’d i let you get high with me

Virgo: bye

Capricorn: i was jk no

Virgo: shhhhhhhHH shots

Aquarius: if i jumped out of the car would i survive

Leo: no because you’d most likely die

Aquarius: did you notice how i said “I” and not “you”

Sagittarius: rosted

Leo: I DON’T KNOW, WHY DON’T YOU TRY IT?

Aquarius: okay *opens door*

Sagittarius: *grabs Aquarius by the shirt* wHAT THE HELL

Aquarius: uh now would be the time you either let me go and let my face has scabs or pull me in

Sagittarius: *pulls in* you’re an idiot

Aquarius: says the idiot

Leo: rOSted

Sagittarius: i shouldn’t have pulled you in

Aquarius: thanks

*back at the arcade*

Pisces: i’ve done so much cardio people would call me a diver instead of a fish tbh

Cancer: why?

Pisces: because i’m majestic and i am as lean as shark meat

Cancer: excuse me

Pisces: i’m just kidding, my beautiful dog

Aries: HAHHAHAHAHA

Cancer: i

Libra: just do it tbh

Pisces: be my dog 

Cancer: lol k

Scorpio: wow touching 

Aries: as salty as the dead sea

Capricorn: someone say my name?

Aries: i said salty not Caprisalt

Capricorn:: fight me you sheep

Scorpio: oh shit

Aries: come at me goat mermaid

Pisces: no one make fun of the fish

Virgo: i need clean sheets not dirty shit

Aries: shit is always dirty

Scorpio: not theirs

Libra: OH SHIT

Virgo: yeah cause i see shit on your face, Scorpio *leaves*

Capricorn: nice you just pissed off Mr. Clean

Libra: I AM ACTUALLY C R Y I N G

Virgo: bye

Capricorn: no come back

*in the car*

Leo: where are we going again?

Sagittarius and Aquarius: a farm

Leo: why?

Sagittarius: gotta pick up my chicks

Leo: gODDAMN IT

*they get out of the car and pretty girls come out*

Girl: hay ;)

Sagittarius: MOVE. I’M. GAY.

Aquarius: i’m fucjngi

Leo: they’re not always like this

Aquarius: i’m into chickens

Leo: i’m so-

Sagittarius: those checkered cows turn me on

Leo: honestly-

Aquarius: those ferrets wanna make me squirm

Sagittarius: squirt?

Aquarius: no squirm because they’re that good

Leo: this is bestiality

Aquarius: i’m not into beasts. jk im into myself so

Leo: can we go

Sagittarius: yes i got them. jk i only wanted to visit

Leo: DAMMIT

Aquarius: *in the car* get in losers we’re going home

Sagittarius: k

*they get in the car and into the arcade*

Virgo: WELL AT LEAST I DON’T JUMP MOUNTAINS FOR MY IMAGE

Aries: SAYS THE CLEANING MAID

Scorpio: oH SHIT

Virgo: VERY FUNNY, HOW ABOUT YOU-

Capricorn: -JUMP TO A SALON AND GET THOSE CATERPILLARS FIXED

Libra: MY TEARS CAN PROVIDE WATER FOR FLINT

Aries: THEN GO CLEAN UP THE-

Aquarius: shut up and bow down, since all of you can do that instead of anything else

Cancer: damn they right

Aquarius: when am i not

Capricorn: al- *Sagittarius gags them*

Pisces: can we leave now

Sagittarius: yes

*they all get in the RV*

Aquarius: SAGITTARIUS YOU HOE HURRY UP

Sagittarius: shhh

Capricorn: how come we don’t go in Leo’s car

Sagittarius: you’re not parkour material bye hoe

*Leo drives away and the others go in the RV*

Aries: i drive

Virgo: why

Aries: cause i said so

Virgo: whatever.

*30 minutes in*

Virgo: grab the steering wheel like-

Aries: no, that’s too-

Virgo: just-

Aries: you’re gon-

Libra: sHUT UP AND MOVE

Gemini: what are you serious. move? move? DRIVE YOURSELF

Libra: MAYBE I WILL *pushes Aries out the driver’s seat* BUCKLE IN HOES WE’RE IN FOR A RIDE

Gemini: no shit sherlock

Libra: you wanna go?

Gemini: you don’t wanna mess up your Gucci shirt do you?

Libra: my eyes are already messed up by looking at both of you

Cancer: I’M 

Gemini: YEAH? GO TO YOUR SUGAR MAMAS LIBRA. SINCE YOU CAN’T MAKE YOUR OWN

Capricorn: i approve

Libra: GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM, GEMINI. OR SHOULD I SAY R O O M S

Cancer: technically they can share one...

Libra: how would you know i thought you lived underwater

Pisces: DO NOT

Libra: the fish food is that way Pisces

Virgo: well shit man time to call Aquarius on your bullshit

Aquarius: *on the phone* wassah

Virgo: drag Libra

Aquarius: how? their decisions already are

Aries and Gemini: OH SHITTTTTTTTT

Libra: go back to being moody Aquarius

Aquarius: i think that’s your job when you can’t break a relationship

Cancer: i can’t brea t he

Libra: OH SHUT UP

Aquarius: that’s Gemini’s job. What? you’re trying to steal jobs too?

Libra:

Libra: i’m feeling so attacked

Aquarius: WHEN DO YOU NOT *end call*

Libra: prepare the funeral

Capricorn: d one

Gemini: they burnt u

Libra: they burnt us

Virgo: time to clean your mess kids *throws sponges*

Aries:..........where’d you get the sponges

Virgo: *sponge falls out their jacket* nowhere

Aries: you sure

Virgo: duh *sponge falls out their shirt and pants* that

Aries: how many.

Virgo: *5 fall out* 24

Taurus: GODDAMNIT VIRGO THAT’S WHAT YOU SPEND MONEY ON

Virgo: well you should’ve gone and bought some jokes so

Taurus: says the virgin. 

Virgo: YOU WANNA GO

Taurus: THAT’S WHAT YOUR SUGAR DADDY DID

Virgo: no that’s what life did in your eyes

Gemini: bring out the cameras kids

Aries: we’re supposed to be home and it’s been 3 hours now

Libra: i’m driving ok

Aries: at 55 mph

Libra: not everyone wants to die Aries

Scorpio: U SURE

*they arrive home*

Virgo: home sweet- WHAT THE H E L L

Aquarius: blazed it *passes out

Capricorn: how is there a fire on the chandelier??????????

Leo: magic

Sagittarius: parkour magic

Leo and Sagittarius: magic u don’t have *pass out*

Capricorn: U wannA-

Libra: they passed out u lost ur chance

Taurus: like always

Capricorn: W O W U-

Gemini: i have the cameras