#i identify further which is a genderfluid trans man
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it's so annoying to me i can't present the way i want and act the way i want without people trying to invalidate my gender. i AM a man! men don't have to have any particular body, or features, or behaviors to be men.
#grrr#this guy im seeing who i literally met on grindr where it lists my gender as a trans man and my pronouns and then i explained to him how#i identify further which is a genderfluid trans man#and he goes ahead and just calls me a woman#im not just a woman#i don't even really like other people referring to me as a woman#i can call myself one when im feeling like such but i ALWAYS 100% of the time identify and feel like a man#so it's never misgendering or inaccurate to call me such even when im presenting hyper feminine#it's preferred when im fem!#probably gonna talk to him about it when he gets back from his trip
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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.
so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.
putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.
thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.
okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).
ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).
also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.
the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.
which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.
anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.
so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.
me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*
* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—
nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.
on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.
thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.
as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.
also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.
so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.
TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.
#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu bes#blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3#btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context#by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3#my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing#mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect#as mentioned in the post above#you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about#like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough#i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪
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hallo, hi...sorry for probably asking something small. but i see you explain things very well and if its okay i wanna have a person explain this to me.
what's a transfem and transmac? i don't quite understand what those terms are. i think i see people use them in context different from just "trans man" or "trans woman"...and looking online i still don't really understand it.
if i am being a bother, please let me know!
@re-ikrmso
well ! the first thing to understand is that these terms will ultimately mean different things for different people !
labels are for people, people aren't meant to conform to labels. so ultimately people will have their own ideas about what different labels mean to them on a personal level.
it's kind of like how there really Isn't one firm definition that separates bisexual from pansexual, the distinction is largely personal and highly dependent on the context of an individual's life. their experiences, what communities they grew up and/or found themselves in, etc !
which ultimately makes it very difficult to give a definitive definition of labels like this that won't risk alienating people, or that other people won't simply disagree with.
THAT SAID.
to my understanding, "trans masc" as a term simply means anyone who is trans in a masculine way, while "trans fem" as a term means anyone who is trans in a feminine way.
for example:
someone who is a Trans Man is most likely someone who was assigned female at birth who then identified as a man (if you'll excuse the outdated terminology for convenience).
but trans Masc may include a variety of other trans identities !
a nonbinary person who transitions or presents in a masculine way may consider themselves trans masc, or at least consider them relevant in discussions about trans masc people, because they have similar experiences (such at with testosterone, bottom/top surgery, how they're treated because of their presentation, etc).
and this Can be true whether this nonbinary person considers themselves Aligned (meaning they are nonbinary in a masc direction) or Unaligned (meaning agender or completely separated from the gender binary). it's ultimately up to personal preference.
or an intersex person may be assigned male at birth And Be Trans Masc, may still transition (medically or socially) into a masc presentation.
they're also convenient terms for people who play further with gender. genderqueer people, genderfluid people, bigender people, etc.
because ! for instance. I am a trans masc person. I was assigned female at birth and I have identified myself masculinely. I would like to take testosterone and go through the social transition into a masculine person.
I also consider myself a trans fem person ! I would like to present femininely as well as masculinely, and importantly I wish to continue doing so after I HAVE medically and socially transitioned. after I've had my name changed, after I've had my legal sex changed, after my body and voice has changed.
there will be times where I will be visibly identifiable as a trans body presenting femininely, And I Like That. I won't just be presenting femininely as a man, I want to be both a feminine and masculine person.
and what this means for me is that I will share experiences with both trans masc And trans fem people, especially socially (and especially where I live, in the deep south).
but there very much so Does need to be a distinction between me (an afab person who is trans in both a masculine and feminine way) and a trans woman (an amab person who is a woman) (again, apologies for the outdated terminology).
and in that sense ! trans fem is a good way to get across the fact that I share Experiences with trans women, but am not one. in much the same way that amab nonbinary people can say the same.
so in other words ! trans fem and trans masc are umbrella terms that loosely connect multiple different sorts of people with similar lived experiences and needs. which is a convenient way of speaking About said needs and issues that may affect all sorts of these people in as efficient a way as possible.
instead of Specifying trans women and a list of other identities that may share things in common with them (a list that will never encompass every kind of person who may), you can shorten it to one more generalized term.
the Drawback of this is that not everybody sees the term that way. some people see trans fem and trans masc as identities in and of themselves that trans women and trans men aren't a part of. some people are people who Do share lived experiences with either trans men or trans women but don't consider themselves either trans fem or trans masc.
and that's like. Okay Actually. it's just expected that for any term that exists in queer spaces there will be people who don't like it or don't personally identify with it or just have a different experience with it.
but ultimately I do find it convenient to use and I choose to do so.
#discourse#not really but that's my tag for talking about things like this fjklsajklafds#queer unity#trans unity#trans fem#trans masc
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https://www.tumblr.com/oilith/756685882611924992/in-your-pinned-post-it-says-queerphobes-dni-so-i
Sorry for the late reply. The person who made the orange/blue flag is a queerphobe who thinks lesbians can be men (cis or trans) or be attracted to men, which is literally not true. It’s lesbiphobic bc lesbians aren’t men and aren’t attracted to men, and it’s transphobic bc saying a trans man can be a lesbian is saying they aren’t a real man. That’s the issue with it.
Yeah no. Genderfluid, bigender, etc. lesbians who identify as male (cis or trans) exist. Identity is complicated and sometimes contradictory, and gatekeeping labels is just stupid, and helps no one. Imo, it's very much a live and let live situation and i won't argue further.
#normally i wouldn't answer to something like this#but i want to make my opinion clear#just let ppl identify as what they want no one gives a fuck irl#ask#anon#aroace#m spec#is that the correct tag#lesbian#lgbtq#queer
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Hi there! I've done lots of research on sexualities and such so I may have some helpful answers ^^
Basically, bisexuality is when a person likes TWO genders. Doesn't have to be a man or a woman. Like let's use Badgerfang as an example. He identified as a gay man for years and even has a husband but if his partner, Blossomtail, comes out as Genderfluid, then he is considered Bisexual.
Pansexuality(me) means that a person doesn't care about gender. They love tue person no matter what, which could fit Badgerfang as well. He loves Blossomtail, end of story.
Being Homosexual (either mlm or wlw) means the person strictly likes the same gender as them.
Saying that a gay man likes a trans woman is incorrect because even though she may LOOK masculine, she is still a woman not a man. Same with lesbians and trans men(me).
Also another important thing- labels don't matter!! sometimes people just like people and don't need to be in a certain label! whatever it is that they like/identity as, it's all okay :]
I hoped this helped to some extent! I've done many years learning about sexualities and getting genders while trying to figure out my own ^^
Big love,
Sky Doodles <3
not sure if you wrote this before or after I wrote my response here BUT
"Also another important thing- labels don't matter!! sometimes people just like people and don't need to be in a certain label! whatever it is that they like/identify as, it's all okay"
"Also another important thing- labels don't matter!! sometimes people just like people and don't need to be in a certain label! whatever it is that they like/identify as, it's all okay"
"Also another important thing- labels don't matter!! sometimes people just like people and don't need to be in a certain label! whatever it is that they like/identify as, it's all okay"
Everything I say is based around this idea. Labels are not concrete. They are not the end all, be all. Labels are great! Labels are comforting. Labels are helpful. I am not against labels. But pointing to labels and saying, "this is the only option," is just. So. Frustrating.
Because you (ambiguous you, not targeted at you, Sky!) say "Homosexuals are attracted strictly to the same gender as themselves," and then proceed to go, "but labels don't matter!" So... Do they?? Because it's a mixed single. You can't tell a gay man they're not gay because they're formerly male partner transitioned into a different gender, and then go, "but labels don't matter!" Because??? You clearly just made the point that they do matter, that they have to pick a handcrafted label, and that you don't value their opinion on the topic of their sexuality.
And to go back to my previous response:
And then there are the people who say, "But you can't be gay, Steve! You have to be bisexual now! You have to call yourself that, or pansexual, or maybe call yourself demisexual but just for your wife, or have you heard of abrosexual? What about agentosexual? I think that's what you are!" and Steve is just like "I don't know. Can't I just love my wife and that's the end of it? Maybe I'm not gay anymore. I don't know." And these people aren't ill-intentioned. They feel they're just trying to help, or trying to "correct" things. But there isn't always a correct answer, and the more you try to force one, the further away the "correct" answer gets.
Trying to force someone into a new label just because a new event and new information arose isn't... isn't fun. For anyone involved. Is it fun for Steve when a bunch of people are telling him he must be this, or must be that? He's trying to come to terms with his own sexuality (is he attracted to women, or just this woman, who once presented as a man?), and isn't of letting him figure it out by himself, people are shoving all these options at him. And, then, if none of them work for him, and he says, "I think I'm still gay because I still really only feel attraction for men, it just happens that my longterm partner transitioned into a woman," and then everyone is like "NO!!! BAD STEVE!!! STEVE MUST BE BISEXUAL NOW!!! JAIL FOR STEVE! JAIL FOR STEVE A THOUSAND YEARS! WE ALREADY DECIDED YOUR SEXUALITY FOR YOU!"
The point I'm trying to make is that there is not one singular, perfect answer to this scenario. There are many. Maybe Badgerfang does decide he is pansexual, because he is loving Blossomtail regardless of his gender. Or maybe he doesn't, and he feels content being gay, as he already had to come to terms with being queer once, and it's a comfort to just be comfortable with himself and his identity, or because he truly still feels gay and only attracted to men. Or maybe he calls himself unlabeled, undecided, or questioning.
Or maybe Badgerfang breaks up with Blossomtail because he feels his attraction fading for him when he is no longer predominantly masculine. And that's perfectly okay and acceptable too!!
#also: Saying that a gay man likes a trans woman is incorrect because even though she may LOOK masculine#she is still a woman not a man#<- correct and i agree#BUT have you ever heard the stories where a man accidentally flirts with a woman thinking they're a man?#case in point. LOOKS still matter even if we wished they didnt#a gay man could be attracted to someone who looks masculine - but the attraction tends to end once theyre brain catches up w/ the fact that#theyre not really a man/masculine. because. biological parts yknow#and some people dont care about biological parts.... but ive headr enough stories to know bio parts DO matter when it comes to sex#sometimes! not always#lolling response#lgbtq+#lgbtq+ discourse#discourse#badgerblossom#gay men#gay man#gay#asked and answered#sky doodles#sky-doodles
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hey so i have a kind of issue ive been pondering over for a while. i currently identify as a trans man, but for a while i thought i might be genderfluid and identified the two possible "genders" i switched between. i gave them names, ill call them s and k here. s was my more feminine gender, i used to describe them as my "girl" gender but now it makes me kind of uncomfortable identifying even partly as a girl. for a while, s used he/she/it pronouns. k uses he/him pronouns and is strictly masculine presenting. sometimes, i will feel like a mix of both "genders" and to be honest, it confuses me because more often than not they feel very distinct and separate, but weirdly similar at the same time? because, well, i usually think theyre both still me. but recently ive been wondering if they really are both me? if that makes any sense at all. because ive been thinking that the two "genders" might not be genders at all but instead like, separate personalities? because my interests change sometimes slightly and sometimes drastically when my "gender" changes, or sometimes i feel conflicted on what i *should* be interested in, if that makes sense? like both hypothetical interests are there, sure, but i feel confused on which one im supposed to like at the moment. and now that im really thinking about this, and typing it out, i have a feeling i might have some kind of plurality?? but im also scared that im getting way ahead of myself and jumping to conclusions, because the "genders" or "personalities" or whatever they are, people maybe, arent always so clearly distinct from one another? because i feel like if they are separate personalities than they both come from a singular base personality maybe? and theres also the issue that if they are two separate personalities or people, than I don't know which one is the real me.
sorry if this was like, really confusing. i just would really like some input on what you think this could be. if its not too much trouble, i hope this could be answered quickly because it's something thats really bothering me but if thats too much stress or whatnot, like you have other asks to get to first, than i totally understand and no pressure! thank you in advance
Hi anon,
It's fairly possible that you could be plural given the experiences you described. It's common for people who don't realize they are systems to experience their plurality in terms of shifting their gender, name, and pronouns, as well as their interests, likes, and dislikes. It's possible that the shifts could be different parts fronting, and it's also possible that the blending between them could be chalked up to blurriness or being cocon. It's understandable that the idea you may be plural could be causing some unease or uncertainty, even as to who you are personally, and please know that you're not alone.
However, as a nonprofessional and as someone who doesn't know you personally, it's not my place to say for certain whether or not you are plural. This could be something to explore further with the guidance or mediation of a mental health professional such as a therapist, ideally one who specializes in dissociative disorders and/or LGBT+ experiences. A therapist, especially one with these concentrations, could help you figure out whether this is to do with gender or if there's something more going on.
Please know that it's okay to explore your identity and discover who you truly are. Identity is a complex and personal journey, it can often fluctuate, and it can take time to understand ourselves fully. Remember to practice self-care, being gentle and patient with yourself along the way. You deserve the space and time to embrace and understand all parts of yourself.
Best of luck in getting to the bottom of this. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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Identity and Gender in the Green Sea Part 1: An Introduction
Pictured Above: Priestesses of the Goddess Fokisa whose grandest temple is located in the Korithian city of Atamis, at any given time and for the majority of the temple’s 400 year history upwards of 18% of the order’s priestess were trans. Read further below.
Note: This is Part 2 of a post that I made some time ago addressing sexuality and the nature of some queer sexual orientations in the Green Sea. To see that post please click here.
Kobani is a world of hundreds of lands, cultures, and religions, as such the nature of identity and how gender and sex is thought of, and what is acceptable varies wildly from region to region, even from house to house. Attempting to provide a cohesive and comprehensive description of the intricate nature of gender in the myriad of cultures which exist in Kobani would be as arduous as doing the same for our own world. For this reason this post will be limited to the areas of the Eastern Green Sea, namely the cultures of Kishetal, Apuna, Korithia, and Ikopesh. The examples given are in no way meant to represent the full scope of gender identity in these regions but to supply some small examples of Gender Queerness as it exists on a cultural or societal level in these regions.
Sections:
1. Terms and Language/The Basics of Gender and Sex
2. Trans People and Their Roles
3. Gender Fluidity
4. Non-Binary and Agender People
Terms and Language/ The Basics
The role and function of gender and its precise relationship with biological sex varies from region to region. It should be noted that with the exception of Ikopesh, and some Forest Folk communities which possess an unusually egalitarian view of gender roles, the lands of the Green Sea are predominantly patriarchal. However, the form and function of this patriarchy are not immediately comparable between cultures and certainly not with our own.
Kishetal
The Kishic understanding of gender primarily maps onto a binary with masculine and feminine being the primary elements. Kishic language in its designation of terms is unique in its language family for the use of four distinct genders used in conjugation, these being masculine, feminine, neutral, and omnigender, that is to say, a conjugation which may be used to simultaneously refer to all three of the previous genders. This form is typically used when the precise gender of a person, thing, place, or action is unknown, and is also used to describe certain deities, spiritual entities, and the clerical figures of specific cultic orders.
There are four terms primarily used to designate the gender of individuals in Kishic culture.
Unu: Man
Ma: Woman
Bishiah: Fluid or Non-Binary
Nakaz: Agender
When describing an individual typically each of these terms is used in the form of a compound noun i.e. kiunu: masculine identifying child, kima: feminine identifying child, kibishiah: a child who is genderfluid or nonbinary (rarely used), zunu: old man, zuma: old woman, zunakaz: old agender, ekiun: horseman, kiframa: priestess (Kifra:Deity), kifranu: priest, etc.
Women
Note: Kishic women blessing beer meant as an offering to the Grain Deity, Fepaha.
Gender roles are largely dependent on region and economic status. In almost all cases men are expected to work and function outside of the home, working and arranging agreements with other families such as marriage, whereas women are charged with the running of the home itself, following a fairly typical patriarchal system. However, in most households, women are the financial and spiritual head, responsible not only for the use and preservation of money but also for the practice of religious rituals. It is considered a sign of poor quality in a wife if she allows her husband to go to market without either herself there or else a slave sent in her place. Similarly, it is believed that a man should not come into contact with sacrificial materials. Women are in general viewed as being closer to the divine, which stems from the fact that women are approximately 20% more likely to be able to practice sagecraft than men. As a direct result of this, the ratio of feminine priestesses, plantbrews, and other mystical and religious functionaries to their masculine or agender/non-binary peers is approximately 2 to 1. Women sages are almost always expected to join a temple and may be forced to by family or law, with the exception of seers. Men are not typically expected to do the same. Thus, though women are more likely to develop sagecraft abilities, they are less likely to be acknowledged as sages or scholars.
While women are typically expected to work in the house performing domestic duties alongside ventures such as weaving, there are exceptions. It is not unusual to see women in the fields or sailing on riverboats in the central regions of Kishetal. Throughout Kishetal, beer has traditionally been brewed by women both in and out of the house. This beer may be for household consumption or to be sold. Labisaj alone has 19 taverns or beer halls run by women. If a husband is unable to provide his wife with the ingredients to make beer, this is often seen as grounds for divorce. Because of this connection between women and beer, wine is viewed as a traditionally masculine beverage in Kishetal.
Marriage Marriage is typically determined between the heads of families, being in most cases, arranged. Most girls are wed between the ages of 17 and 24. It is considered taboo for a girl to be wed to a man over ten years her senior. As such most pairings are made for men between the ages of 16 and 34. Cultural traditions in the Mountainous Eastern regions believe that children should be born no less than one year after marriage. As such for the first three months of an Eastern Kishic marriage, it is not unusual for a cousin, parent, or sibling to stay with the newlywed couple to ensure that no accidents happen. This period is referred to as “Tilling the Field.” The day when intercourse is finally permitted is often the subject of much celebration, almost acting as a second wedding in and of itself. Such practices do not appear in other regions of Kishetal and are often the subject of ridicule.
Men
Warfare is almost entirely the purview of men in Kishic culture. The practice of including women as warriors and raiders as seen in surrounding cultures such as the Macur and Ikopesh is seen as barbaric. Despite this, the Macurian heroine, Seha, companion of the Founding King, Tamel, is a beloved figure in Kishic folklore.
Boys are expected to start working with their fathers outside of the house starting around the age of 6. Depending on their father’s work what these children are expected to do can vary wildly. Boys will typically only begin to receive pay for their labor around the age of 13, around this same time a boy may be sent to work for another family or business such as a ship maker, potter, or in special cases, a scribe. Such arrangements may also in time form the the basis for marriages between families.
Formal schooling for boys and girls alike is not present. Most children are taught by their parents, grandparents, and older siblings. In wealthier families, slaves from regions such as Apuna and Korithia may be purchased for the express purpose of teaching children languages, mathematics, and the natural sciences. The wealthiest families may hire scholars to teach their children, primarily boys, to read and write. Poetry halls are spaces designated for the reading of poetry and other scholarly and artistic pursuits. Fathers will bring their children to such places to listen to the scholars and may even pay through barter or service to have the scholars address their children directly.
Starting around the age of 15, commoner boys are added to conscription records and if ordered, are expected to take part in warfare both on land and at sea as members of levees or else as members of a city guard. Weapons and armor are expected to be supplied by the family, as such many boys receive arms and armor as fifteenth birthday presents. Men may be exempt from military service due to a number of reasons, namely disability, religious service, and age with men being taken off of royal conscription records between the ages of 50 and 60. Nobility and commanders may stay on far longer with the legendary, Uridush the Gray, serving until the age of 104.
NEXT POST: The Basics of Gender in Apuna and Korithia
#fantasy#fantasy world#Fantasy Writing#fantasy worldbuilding#queer fantasy#worldbuilding#world building#Kobani Narul Kishetal#TestamentsoftheGreenSea#sorry its been so long#there's gonna be alot of parts to this#PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS
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Okay I have a lot of gnender questions but here's the big one that bothers me a lot:
I identify as a man, but I still like presenting femininely. I know that men can be feminine but for some reason when I wear a dress and do up my hair I look at myself and immediately see a girl. Sometimes I like they/them and other times I prefer he/him but I've never liked she/her, so whenever I wear those clothes I just feel yucky even though I love dressing up. And at first I thought I might be trans but then i realized that I didn't want to transition so I thought I might be genderfluid but something about that label just feels not right for me.
Sorry for turning this into a gnender rant but the gist of it is this: I don't think I'm trans but I know I'm not genderfluid, so is this just good 'ole confusion or is there an actual label for what I'm feeling>
I've had a few somewhat similar feelings before, with some labels feeling almost right but not quite, and sometimes two different ones feel right but they're conflicting labels, sometimes the labels that fit me change day to day, ect ect. What I eventually settled on that made me happy is just calling myself 'queer'. It's the word that I decided best describes me, encompassing everything and committing to nothing. I can be asexual one day and bi the next and trans the day after. It's lgbtqa+ all in one simple word.
As for gender labels specifically...the equivalent might be just calling your gender 'gender' lol. Personally, I would consider using 'queer' as my gender, if I was feeling what you describe. You also might find happiness or satisfaction in being one of those people who just say 'what are you, a cop?' when asked their gender. You might be happier trying to learn to live with and even love a concept without a name for your gender, leaving it unnamed. It doesn't have to have a label, if it's causing you more stress to look for one that's perfect than it's worth.
You might also try aiming for androgynous fashion, or looking male with your body but feminine with your clothes. Personally, I actually really liked experimenting with makeup styles meant to make female faces look more masculine, you might try that. I've also been thinking about trying male voice training, I think that would be similarly satisfying, you might try that.
You said something about not wanting to transition. I can kind of feel that. On the topic of my own gender...if it was a perfect world, and I could switch my body's gender with the flick of a button, and transphobia didn't exist, I think I would. I would pick a male body, but I would probably still dress it pretty feminine quite often. But this is not a perfect world, and transitioning is difficult and painful and expensive, and most of the world is some degree of transphobic, and honestly I barely have any body disphoria worth mentioning. So I choose to stay a woman most of the time, because it's the easier option. I often think that people who choose to transition are tougher and braver than any marine.
One place I think you might also find a kind of kinship is actually with drag queens, I think. I've met a few before. Now from what I understand, most drag queens won't answer directly if you ask their gender, but from what I understand, a fair number of them aren't actually trans women. They're just men who present feminine, sometimes or all the time, men who look like women, which sounds like some of what you've described. You might seek out your local drag queens (and kings) for further wisdom on the subject.
I also have a little brother who is trans, but he still chooses to present as very feminine. Most people look at him and see a girl. He's had a lot of mental health struggles around his gender. It feels to me like you have a lot in common with him. If you want, I could ask him to make a throw away account, and you could message him, or annon him? He might have better answers than me.
And also one thing that makes sense to me, that's helped me make sense of some gender things, is this thing that I heard once. It goes something like: "I am a man. And this is my skirt. And sense this skirt belongs to a man, that makes it a man's skirt, not a woman's skirt." This line has helped me make sense of a lot of gender things. That might help you too, when presenting feminine? Go through things one by one, and say 'I am a man, so that is a man's skirt. I am a man, so that is a man's ponytail. I am a man, so that is a man's makeup.' Or substitute they/them, when the mood strikes. Make it a kind of morning affirmation, maybe?
I kind of got all over the place with this reply...sorry about that. The end question was on labels, wasn't it? I'm sorry, but if there is a single, perfect label for what you are and what you're feeling, I don't know what it is. I've had some similar feelings, but the *not knowing* has never bothered me enough to really dig into it with a lot of self examination and research. I hope something of my experience helps though, and I hope you know I care about you no matter what your gender or clothes are. Even if there isn't a word for you, or if the word changes every day, you're still *you* and I still like *you* behind all the labels and the clothes and the body. I hope you likes *you* too. And you can feel free to ask me any time, though I'm sorry if I don't quite have the right words.
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Well, I think I am going to take out information down on my gender identity and sexuality as I am quietly questioning (and panicking) over both right now. I will leave my pronouns up for sure still but until I can get a solid feel for both, I feel like it is wrong for me to fully identify a certain way anymore and will take that information down to prevent possible issues. Both seemed like for sure fields tbh for years but I think as I have healed from a ton of trauma, I actually think stuff is probably changing (which is good? maybe?? idk I am scared). Tbh any advice would be appreciated on both matters. I'll explain further on both topics under the cut for anyone curious. <3
More details under the cut:
So, as quick of a TLDR as I can make this out to be, let me explain both: I am born AFAB (please please please for the love of the gods I do not want radfems interaction please and thanks) and for years as a kid especially I felt comfortable taking on "princely" roles when it came to play pretend with girls. I always felt happy being their knight in shining armor (I know it's cringe bear with me) and their prince but I liked mainly feeling closer to a girl and presenting myself in a feminine way. Forgive me btw, I am fairly ignorant on proper terminology because I grew up in a place where getting support for matters like this was next to impossible. I noticed more often than not, I always seemed drawn to girls and fem presenting people IRL. Fictional men were nice, but mainly my focus seemed to be fem-presenting people (I hope I got the term right). I wondered if I possibly was trans too, as a lot of characters I did relate to a lot were characters like Link from Legend of Zelda or now even Stolas from Helluva Boss for example and it was a cycle of, "Do I like this person or want to be them or both?" until I thought, "Oh! I must be genderfluid because using He/They/She pronouns feels right!". That was back around 2019 or so, and tbh I just feel like an imposter now because I noticed my gender didn't feel as "fluid" as others had it. I noticed I gravitated more toward They/She and thought, "Oh wait am I cis after all???" but that didn't feel right either as I notice I don't entirely like using She/Her pronouns either. Once again, I feel almost stuck wondering if maybe I am straight up non-binary or not or if the reason I feel feminine in any capacity is because of my system (I have DID for context) who mostly are feminine in some way. Same thing goes for the sexuality side of things. Especially when I was younger, the first person I truly felt like I had a real crush on was a girl who was actually my bully in middle school (I know I was a fool) who was essentially the Hans to my Anna (I am so sorry but literally I have no other clue how to compare it because the comparison is quite spot on in my eyes). She was someone I was happy to let myself get kicked around for and wait on her hand and foot. I was happy to be a walking carpet for her and sacrifice anything just for an ounce of her love and in truth? I never actually had those kinds of feelings for any masculine kind of individuals.
Fictional men? Oh absolutely fine! Fictional WOMEN??? Even Better (Felicia Hardy you will ALWAYS have my heart tbh). Like, as awful as this may seem, the men I have dated I feel like I only dated them out of pity because they liked me and I felt bad and did not want to say no to them. This tbh led to a lot of trauma for me, yet I still somehow gravitated back toward cis men mostly that I never really felt a genuine connection with. I dated two (At the time) women in my life and for some reason even though I dealt with a ton of bs from them, I felt more inclined to date a woman again versus a man.
Back in middle to high school, I was stuck wondering if I was bisexual or lesbian, and poor poor exes of mine I literally felt so bad I could not figure it out and just assumed I was bi. Though another kicker came in: I really am not that interested in sex. I have had trauma with it yes, and tbh as awful as this may seem, I assumed it was from trauma. Yet I healed, and grew, and that didn't seem to be the case as time went on. I had experimented (tbh I wanted Taco Bell more than I wanted that person soooo oops...) and I figured, "Oh! This means I am Asexual!" Yet I still feel more romantic feelings toward fem people mostly. I stupidly thought being bisexual in highschool was transphobic (I learned better since them) and went with the identity of Pansexual, then Panromantic Asexual when I learned that being Panromantic existed, but now I once again am at a crossroads here too. I notice I have been really feeling my heart flutter seeing pretty feminine people more, and even wondered if I was even demisexual versus straight up asexual. I have done a lot of healing and I wondered if I too was sucked into the wormhole that is comphet but I just don't know. I don't really know who to talk to about it all and I can't help but go, "Oh I can't be lesbian because I am not a cis female" but learned you CAN be nonbinary and lesbian. Then I go, "but wait I can't be a lesbian if I like fictional men right??" but sure enough, I see lesbians who adore fictional men. I almost wonder if Bisexual was correct, but yet it just does not feel 100% right.
I even tried to go on the app Boo to find friends mostly, but I did mention I would be happy to try and date later down the road as I had a lot of healing to do. I met some guys that I figured could be cool friends, but I noticed that the only person I was even remotely interested in that liked me too was a guy in France who dressed in a feminine way and presented himself in a feminine manner. Like, it was to the point that I felt supremely fluttery in my chest and felt a sense of giddiness. It isn't entirely the same as the feelings I had for a friend of mine who is a girl. I almost feel sad thinking on it because I know she wouldn't probably like me back as she has so much going on and she has had friends confess to her and made her uncomfortable and I'd never want to do anything to hurt her, but man I think about her and my heart just soars. If you ever hear the song Heaven's Light from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, this is exactly how I feel about her. She makes me feel like I have a Morticia Addams of my own and thinking about how much my heart almost aches for her is hard to really encapsulate in words. I promise this is not some sappy love confession or anything, I want to respect her and she still lights up my life even though we are only friends. I just do not get the same kinds of feelings about a masculine individual unless fictional. I wasn't sure if it is me or the system or anything like that, but any advice would be great tbh minus the, "Just be patient with yourself! This takes time!" thing. No offense, but I am 28 years old and tbh as a system this I think is different than the average, "be patient with yourself thing". Yet the more I write, the more I wonder if I am answering my own questions too tbh. Sorry for the lengthy post!
#did advice#gender identity questions#gender identity#possibly lesbian#questioning sexuality#personal post#not a vent#personal#small update#seeking advice#lesbian#nonbinary#did system#actually did
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To elaborate further on how radical feminism is hostile towards nonbinary people—
There is no room for anything (or anyone) that does not align itself with womanhood in radfem spaces. The nonbinary people who do align themselves with womanhood to any degree aren’t guaranteed entry either—they must also not be aligned with manhood in any way shape or form.
You’re a genderfluid person who’s sometimes a man? Stay out of women’s spaces except for the days on which you’re “woman-aligned” or unaligned.
You’re bigender and one of those genders is male? Stay out of women’s spaces, period. Your manhood taints any womanhood or agender idk you might also identify with.
And to those who say “wouldn’t trans men and nonbinary people want to be excluded from women/radfem spaces?” I would remind you that A) we’re not a monolith for you to generalize, B) it’s frankly none of your business why a nonbinary person or trans man would feel comfortable in women’s spaces, and C) we’re already treated like a threat by cisgender men, we don’t need more hostility from our own community or the communities we grew up in.
I’m confused - do you think radfems are just as bad as TERFs?
In my opinion, there is no meaningful distinction between radical feminists and trans exclusionary radical feminism.
I believe that all radical feminism is inherently trans exclusionary—radical feminism that is wholeheartedly accepting of trans women is hostile towards trans men and vice versa, and radical feminism that claims to be accepting of both is hostile towards nonbinary people.
Radical feminism is an ideology built on the premise that women must have spaces where they can segregate themselves from men for their own safety and well-being. The only difference distinguishing offshoots of radfem ideology is how they define ‘men’—aka, who is part of the group they aim to exclude from their safe spaces.
Some include trans women in their definition of men, others trans men. Those who claim to include both still don’t entertain the notion that men of color and otherwise marginalized men can suffer under the patriarchy without reaping the same benefits as their privileged counterparts as long as they’re cis.
So no, I’m not a fan of any type of radical feminism, no matter how inclusive some claim to be.
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Since it's apparently genderfluid visibility week I'm gonna talk about how I came across the realization. Idk if this could help other people or further confuse them I just wanna talk about why the genderfluid label feels right for me.
I'm AFAB. It has always been so hard to make others understand that in certain situations my confidence doesn't get a boost from being "pretty" and wearing makeup. For example for the first day on any job I always prepared masculine clothes, but then just before the day itself I would chicken out and dress the way a woman is expected to dress in my very conservative part of the world, and put on makeup - and that would *completely destroy* my confidence and turn me into a stuttering mess because I knew that everyone would see me and think "woman" and that just doesn't match how I feel when I am at work. I thought this was normal I thought that all women hated putting on makeup and pretty clothes sometimes and it was a while before I found out others like it? Or at least get a boost of confidence? While I sat there looking at GNC masculine people wearing makeup thinking "but why the fuck would you go through that everyday, you don't have to!!!" Because the idea that people could *enjoy* looking "feminine" in all situations was like insane to me.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being fully "feminine" sometimes, that's why I feel like genderfluid is closer to how I identify than any other label, it just never occurred to me until relatively recently that my switching between intense like and intense dislike of certain external "gender markers" wasn't normal.
(this makes picking a haircut a pain in the fucking ass too)
I hesitated for a very long time on the verge of non-trans labels... GNC woman, masc woman, "butch", but none of them felt truly right, because most of them posited that I identified with the feminine gender first and foremost and that's like. Not true, not always. And also all of those posit that I always feel a certain way, which I know that isn't necessarily true, but like, I think this is my main thing - my switch between "woman" and "man" is EXTREMELY dramatic. I have like days in which I want to go to the grocery story in full face of makeup and dramatic neckline to show off my boobs and there are days in which I want to go to the beach with hairy legs and Hawaiian swimming trunks and I hate my boobs with fiery passion.
So like, genderfluid feels the rightest of all because it encapsulates both the intensity of how I experience gender and the dramatic distance between the extremes. Bigender could also be right, but genderfluid seems more elastic - I also have my enby days, thought they're rare, and also I just generally like having a bit more room to breathe.
I think this is the main thing for me. Room to breathe. That's what makes it feel right for me - when I say I'm genderfluid I feel immediately lighter, less constricted. It took a very long time to get here, and I am not in a place in which I can fully express myself yet, but it is still such a relief, to know myself, even if only in the privacy of my own brain.
#the only thing i regret is not starting voice training years ago#but besides that i am happy i took my time#my ramblings#genderfluid#genderfluid visibility week
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SO @keroppi-stims heres my super long explanation on the term bi lesbian if you wanted to rb it for that anon, putting it under a read more bc its LONG
so, to start lets define bi lesbian - which is not as cookie cutter as you might think! mspec lesbian + mspec gay labels are very fluid by nature,and the reasons i identify as a bi gay man may be completely different from the reasons another bi gay man connects with the same label! the bare-bones definition is: someone who identifies with both of the labels “bi” and “lesbian” now that’s not nearly enough information for a lot of people looking into this, especially because these two labels seem at first glance to be contradictory and inherently different this is untrue for a very simple reason (and bear with me here, there’s a bit of binary language used since this was back when the queer community was first finding its footing): lesbian started out to mean a woman attracted to women regardless of any other attraction she may experience as well this means that a woman who was attracted to men and women would have been considered a lesbian, just the same as a woman who was exclusively attracted to other women
you might know this to be what’s now called an Umbrella Term! just like gay is / was, lesbian used to be a broad umbrella term that anyone could identify with now. there was. a certain group of people. that did not like this. they wanted ‘lesbian’ to mean a (cis) woman who was exclusively attracted to other (cis) women. they coined the term ‘gold star lesbian’ to mean someone who only dates and sleeps with other cis women, and then eventually that escalated to them pushing out the people we now would class as mspec! thats why the term bisexual exists, to give them back the sense of community they lost it doesnt take a genius to guess who this group of people are in the modern-day, but i cannot say their names because it WILL attract them to my blog and i dont care to get swarmed by red in my notes! if u know u know anyways, so thats a very very brief and vague history of the term lesbian! i mention this because it’s crucial to understand why people say lesbian is an umbrella term, and why terms like bi lesbian exist and aren’t as Weird as they appear!
now that the history lesson is out of the way, let’s get back to the term itself. there are MANY reasons ive seen that someone might ID as a bi lesbian, and exactly NONE of them are transphobic. funnily enough, most of the mspec lesbians + mspec gays ive seen have been trans, including me!
which, is a GREAT segway into something that too many people overlook in the discourse around bi lesbian and similar terms: multigender people.
when you have multiple genders, sexuality isn’t always as cut-and-dry as it is with monogender people! and as a result, if you want specific, descriptive terms? you gotta mix and match if you’re bigender (example: both male and female) and you are attracted to male and female people, then by definition you are both bi (attracted to two or more genders) AND gay / lesbian (attracted to the same gender) therefore, you might identify strongly with both labels, and decide to ID as bi gay / bi lesbian!
not all mspec lesbians / mspec gays are multigendered, or even trans, and that doesnt make their reasons for IDing with their chosen label Bad or Wrong or anything, i simply bring this example up because not many people even think about multigender people and our resulting experiences with sexuality! note: when i say multigender i’m using it to mean anyone who is not 100% one singular gender for 100% of the time, im including genderfluid people (hi) as well as people who are always two or more genders at the same time for ease of communicating. i’ll even go one step further: all of this? could apply to the labels “straight lesbian” or “straight gay” , which are both valid sexualities!
also to end this super long ramble: every [REDACTED] i’ve come across fucking HATES the terms bi / pan / ply / omni lesbian. you know why? bc they hate anyone who isnt a cis woman attracted to only cis women using the term “lesbian”
it is most certainly NOT one of their “things” i can assure you
i also ramble a little more [HERE] though be warned- it is written in a very angry tone because i was going off on a rude anon
TL;DR: bi lesbian (and its related labels) are most certainly good-faith identities, and the reasons for IDing with it differ from person to person so much that i couldn’t possibly list every reason here
#not stim#long post#very long post#ok to rb#if u want to rb it and youre not the person i tagged feel free#ALSO eli if you dont want to be tagged in this lmk and i'll edit that out!
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so the thing is. i've always been pro non-binary and i want to continue to be but i have been reading some stuff and i'm worried bc it kinda makes sense and ik it's a bad thing but god idk i need to hear your opinion. so there's this post of someone saying trans ppl wouldn't exist in an utopia where genders aren't a thing and someone else explained how that was wrong because of disphoria and then said "while yes, there would be a lot less nb ppl bc gender stereotypes are more their thing..." and it got me thinking bc i never really understood what nb is. i also saw other people say that nb and genderfluid don't make sense because they're not about gender, but stereotypes about masculinity and femeninity. and i think i agree? (what i hear most from nb ppl is that they don't feel like they fit in with society's ideas of man or woman, but as a somewhat masculine cis woman neither do i? or many others at least) because those things are societal, you can be a binary gender while not agreeing with societal gender norms, or gnc. and what confuses me further is that most nb ppl are gender aligned. i reason they're aligned to the gender that corresponds their sex? (i'm asking from the deepest pit of ignorance😅) but if they feel like they don't fit in the binary genders, how can they be aligned with masc of fem? i mean for example a nb person who's female by sex and is very femenine, wears makeup, long hair, basically doesn't look androgynous at all, are they really not a woman who doesn't agree with gender stereotypes? bc i also feel like a lot of people are treating nb as a quirky thing to use to get in the lgbt community (like they wanna be oppressed, for whatever reason). idk. i'm a bit lost (and drunk), gender discourse is quite complex...
you're right, gender discourse is incredibly complex, especially when so many people are ready to jump down your throat and cancel you and destroy your friendships regardless of your intentions and/or level of knowledge. therefore, i'm also going to speak carefully on this subject, bc i feel that nb discourse is rife with people foaming at the mouth to ask any questions at all so :^)
anyway, i've seen that post before, and i think i agree with you as well. binary trans people have a disorder. it's been proven that trans people's brains have the neural pathways and neural structural patterns of the gender opposite of their sex. therefore, even in a utopia without gender roles and stereotypes, they would still be trans. that's also why it's incredibly important to keep transgender as a medical acknowledgement, not just to force insurance to help pay for gender reaffirming surgeries and therapies, but also to acknowledge that it's a real, neurological occurrence--and hopefully gain more research and acceptance of it.
and because of that, i also am in the same boat as you, where it's likely that nb people would not exist in such a utopia, or if they did, it would be an extremely small amount, even smaller than it is currently. from what i've seen in the nb movement is a lot of push against gender roles and gender stereotypes; i would cautiously hazard a guess that there are two main reasons for people identifying as nb
1) they are gnc
2) they don't "feel" their gender, as they believe cis people do, and conflate lack of femininity/masculinity or a neutrality towards one's own body with having a different gender
i personally can't see anyone having nb dysphoria, simply because the science isn't there for it. the body has two setting--male or female (please note that intersex people are not being considered here, as their condition is a birth defect and not the creation of a third gender or a lack of gender). therefore, there are female and male hormones; female and male neural structures; female and male neural pathways. i don't believe that there is dysphoria associated with not having a gender or having a third gender outside the binary--HOWEVER. however, i believe that many things can be mistaken for nb dysphoria
for example, many binary trans people have had a stage wherein they identify as nb for awhile. it's like a stepping stone, from what i understand, between believing they're cis to understanding they're trans. there is also trauma, especially sexual trauma, that can cause a disconnect between one's own gender and themselves. internalized misogyny/misandry can also be a culprit, or simply not wishing to exist within the boxes that female and male stereotypes push people into. and lastly, there's also body dysmorphia, which can be difficult to recognize for what it is. of course, it may be a desire to simply "be different" than other people, especially for those that are online a lot and have been bombarded with "cis is bad" for years and years, but i would like to give people the benefit of the doubt first instead of jumping to conclusions like that
despite all of this, i do think it is important to respect nb people and be courteous and kind to them. this is just my own opinion, and i personally will never attack or dismiss a nb person. the only problem i will ever have is if a nb person uses neopronouns, and that's bc i am neurodivergent and believe that pronouns equal gender. then, though, i believe that's a separate problem entirely from being nb critical
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My opinion on some of the Netflix Sandman rumors
We fans don’t have much in the way of substantial news about The Sandman Netflix series. All we have are rumors and gossip. I have compiled some of the rumors here along with my opinions on those rumors. Consider this a disclaimer. I am only a fan. I do not have any inside info. All the rumors here are ones that can easily be found on various sites online. Now to begin...
Rumor: Morpheus will be captured in 1916 but will not escape until present day.
This rumor has been confirmed true by Neil Gaiman on his Tumblr account and other Social media websites. In my opinion this was wise because it enables Morpheus’ capture to continue to overlap with the real-world sleeping sickness outbreak of Encephalitis Lethargica.
Rumor: Michael Sheen is playing Lucifer.
This rumor was debunked months ago by Neil Gaiman but I surmised that the one who started the rumor had found out he was playing Lucifer for The Sandman audio drama and had gotten confused. I was right. I DO however suspect Michael Sheen and possibly David Tennant will have roles in The Sandman Netflix series, just not the same role Michael Sheen had in the audio drama.
My Opinion: I’m all for Michael Sheen having a role in The Sandman Netflix series. Him and David Tennant.
Rumor: Doug Jones is going to be in The Sandman as a supporting character.
This rumor comes from two clues. The first being that Neil Gaiman has spoken about his like of Doug Jones and Guillermo Del Toro almost did a Sandman adaptation with Doug as Morpheus. Doug Jones even brought this up recently, which suggests that the subject might be on mind.
My opinion: Doug is an excellent character actor and I want this to be true. He should be in Sandman. I love Doug. And there are plenty of characters he could play. Lucien, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Doctor Destiny, various nightmares.
Rumor: Liam Hemsworth or Dacre Montgomery will play The Corinthian.
Opinion: I like Liam Hemsworth. He deserves a shot but Dacre is also good.
Rumor: Tom Sturridge is playing Morpheus.
Opinion: I am 90% sure this rumor is true. There are a number of sources claiming the same thing. Also just google how the man looks. I think he’ll do a fine job. I thought Oliver Farnworth would have been excellent too but I’m sure Tom Sturridge would be fine.
Rumor: The Netflix Sandman series will see Dream take many forms including a female form.
Opinion: This isn’t really new. We saw Dream’s feminine side in Overture. If it bothers you to see Morpheus might have a feminine side, you probably shouldn’t be watching something like Sandman anyway.
Rumor: Death will be played by a black woman.
The source of this rumor comes from Neil Gaiman saying something about loving the actress chosen for Death but feeling some people will complain.
Opinion: ...So? She’s an Endless. She can look any way she wants. I would have liked to have seen Jamie Chung in the role though. She voiced her for the Death short that accompanied the Wonder Woman: Bloodlines Blu Ray.
Rumor: Morpheus’ extended capture will effect his reunion with Hob.
My opinion: Uhhhh Duh.
Honestly though this makes me VERY curious as to how their reunion will play out. I hope it is just as sweet as the comic.
Rumor: The Corinthian will appear fairly early in the series and even advise Roderick Burgess how best to contain Morpheus.
Opinion: Well, according to the leaked Corinthian audition this is true. I don’t mind it at all. It makes sense. It fits.
Rumor: Alexander Burgess’ story is now more sympathetic and he as well as his father will age slower because of Morpheus’ capture.
Opinion: This seems likely based on certain leaks. And I kind of hope this means Morpheus will be able to punish Roderick and not Alex.
Rumor: Alex will now have an older brother who died during World War 1, a brother that Roderick preferred, and he takes out his grief on Alex in abusive ways. it also gives Roderick a new motivation for wanting to capture Death.
Opinion: This is likely true based on certain leaks from last February. I have mixed feelings about this because sometimes parents are just assholes. They don’t need a tragic loss to set off their abusive behavior. It also made Roderick worse (in the comics) that he treated his only (known) son the way he did. It’s been recently established in the comics that John Dee was actually Alex’s half-brother. I guess it all depends on how this is done.
I also don’t think Roderick needs to be grief stricken in order to want to control Death. This is a cliché, a cliché we saw in Disney’s Gargoyles and even in Hercules and Xena. Someone loses someone they love and tries to capture Death in order to bring them back. Roderick doesn’t need this trope. He was an occultist who wanted to be a big shot in the world of early twentieth century magick users. In my opinion that should be enough but I’ll keep an open mind.
Rumor: They were supposed to start filming in May but it was delayed to late October because of Covid.
This one is true.
Opinion: Hurry up!
Rumor: Roderick Burgess has no real magick in the show.
Opinion: Sadly this is likely true based on a character description leak from the casting call. I shall miss seeing Sykes’ head explode... Honestly I kind of hope this is wrong. I’m tired of magick being diminished in comic book TV and film.
Rumor: The first season of Sandman will combine Preludes and Nocturnes with The Doll’s House.
Opinion: This is likely true. I’m fine with it. It might flow better for TV this way.
Rumor: The “A game of you” storyline will have trans people writing.
Opinion: This makes sense And this is pretty much already confirmed true.
Rumor: The Netflix show will have the same cast as the audio drama.
Opinion: Though I would not mind this, I know it is not true. This is likely the result of an IMDB listing for the audio drama mistakenly calling it a show and some fans mistaking that IMDB page as being the one for the Netflix series.
Rumor: The Netflix Sandman series is canceled and the audio drama is all we’re getting.
This rumor is absolutely false! It’s a stupid rumor made by those who had no idea the audio drama was happening before the pandemic even hit. The audio drama is not compensation because there will not be a Netflix show. Both will exist.
Opinion: Shame on those leaping to this conclusion and spreading it as fact.
Rumor: A character named “Ann” is being cast and she’ll be a major recurring character.
Opinion: I’ve seen this sort of thing before. It’s how you hide what character they are trying to cast. Clearly this is a major female character for the show and probably was a name used as a place holder for Death of The Endless or even Rose Walker. I’m not too concerned about this. Some fans are upset and already raging that they’re making up a new character just for the show, ala Chloe Decker in Lucifer. I don’t think there’s anything to worry about here.
Rumor: Tom Ellis will not be playing Lucifer.
Opinion: Tom Ellis has wanted to move on from Lucifer for a while. He wants season six of Lucifer to be its last. Let him move on. Neil Gaiman also wants his Lucifer to be different from the Lucifer TV show version. The Lucifer TV series deviated heavily from the comics and it might confuse people with the big differences in lore. It is probably for the best that Tom Ellis not play Lucifer.
Rumor: The Sandman is why Lucifer is being canceled.
Opinion: No. Lucifer has been canceled three times now. In fact the first time it was canceled The Sandman TV series had not been picked up by Netflix yet. Lucifer has had six seasons. For a paranormal police procedural that’s a good, long, run. Not everything can be Supernatural. Forever Knight (and most shows of that type) only had three seasons. Lucifer out lived the norm for its type of show and survived two cancelations. Let it go. Do not blame Sandman. The Sandman is what gave us Lucifer, not took it away. The Sandman is where the story of Lucifer quitting, opening Lux, and taking up piano came from.
Rumor: The Sandman is the most expensive show DC has ever made.
According to Variety this is true.
Opinion: It probably has to be expensive. Look at all the stuff they need to show us, the sets and special effects needed.
Rumor: Lucien might be played by a woman.
Apparently this rumor started because some of the Morpheus auditioners let slip that they auditioned with a woman as Lucien.
Opinion: I’m not sure how I feel about this. I love the character of Lucien. A a woman version might take a little getting used to. I don’t hate the idea, I just prefer how he appears in canon. Further note, I kind of hope he has a full head of hair like he does in the recent comics. There is a very high chance she was just reading his lines since at the time the role being cast was Morpheus, not Lucien.
Rumor: The Sandman could air as early as Summer of 2021.
Opinion: *Insert bitter laugh here.* I wish...
Rumor: Alexander Burgess is gay.
Opinion: And in other news water is wet!
Rumor: Desire will be played by someone who identifies as Genderfluid or nonbinary.
Opinion: This is very likely true.
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5 Ways That Bi Erasure Hurts More Than Just Bisexual People
December 2, 2014 by Milo Todd
This year, Bisexual Awareness Day/Celebrate Bisexuality Day was on September 23rd.
That same day, the National LGBTQ Task Force thought it’d be a good idea to post an article entitled “Bye Bye Bi, Hello Queer,” in which leadership programs director Evangeline Weiss said “she is ready ‘to say bye bye to the word bisexuality.’
She said it does not describe her sexual orientation, and she encouraged readers to cease using the word as well as she felt it reinforced a binary concept of gender.
Let me drive that home a little more. The National LGBTQ Task Force not only thought it would be a good idea to publish an article insulting, misrepresenting, and forsaking the bisexual letter in their own name, but did so on Celebrate Bisexuality Day.
Rude.
And a fantastic example of the constant, ongoing erasure bisexual people have to deal with. This one just happened to be incredibly blatant.
What happened as a result of that article? People got pissed.
People got so pissed that the Task Force not only removed the article from their website, but posted in its place this non-apology (it keeps being referred to as an apology, but I’m not so easily pleased): “Having listened to a wide array of feedback on the timing and content, we recognize that this blog offended people. For this we sincerely apologize. It has been removed.”
In other words, “Sorry you got pissed off. Hopefully you’ll shut up if we take it down.” Which, as far as I can tell, isn’t much of an apology for a blatant disregard of an entire community of people.
Misunderstanding of the bisexual community has been the crux of biphobia’s history and the ongoing battle to erase bisexuality from the LGBTQIA+ community.
It’s a scary time to be bi, especially when your lesbian, gay, pansexual, and queer siblings and allies are calling for your blood simply because they’ve fallen victim to the mainstream agenda without realizing it. (Say what?! Jump to #5.)
It’s time for a change.
It’s time for all of us to properly understand one another and to — hope of hopes — become allies for our incredibly similar endeavors. To help initiate that friendship, I ask you, dear reader, to go through the following three steps.
Step 1: Look below. If I’ve played my cards right, virtually every reader should find at least one category with which they identify.
Step 2: Approach your designated section(s) with an open mind, an unprejudiced heart, and a desire to further enhance your own community/ies. It’s difficult for people to learn new things and see different views if they automatically approach them with resistance, which is often the case with bisexual topics.
Step 3: See how bi erasure hurts you as a person and, while you’re at it, likely hurts the people you care about. Because it really is happening.
So here are five ways in which bi erasure is hurting people of layered identities.
1. Female-Identified People and Feminists
Bisexuality is one of the only non-monosexual* identities currently recognized in the English-speaking world. If bisexuality is kept underground, it suppresses our limited, precious resources for open discussion about non-monosexuality. This hurts female-identified people and feminists regardless of their sexual orientation.
To this day, female-identified people can’t get a fair shake. Pay is unequal, birth control access is limited, and objectification is a daily thing. Non-monosexual women in particular are often not taken seriously because they’re seen as sluts, greedy, or unable to make up their minds.
Also, the general fetishizing of women is particularly intensified in the bisexual realm by (straight-identified) men, turning the very act of women’s sexual freedom, empowerment, and self-expression into nothing more than something for male gazes. (This is most often seen through the relentless prompts for female-female-male threesomes and masculine catcalls in bars when two femme-appearing women make out.)
By participating in or casually allowing bi erasure to happen, we’re ignoring the specific plights and abuses of bisexual women, thereby contributing to the ongoing problem of female inequality, objectification, and silence.
As feminists, we can’t pick and choose which women to fight for. The complexities of womanhood — and all of its cultural suppressions — are an all-or-none deal.
*Note: Non-monosexuality usually refers to someone who is interested in more than one sex or gender. (In other words, somebody who isn’t gay, lesbian, or straight.) Another way to say “non-monosexuality” would be “polysexuality” to help keep it from sounding negative.
2. Male-Identified People and Male Liberationists*
Just like with female-identified people and feminists, bi erasure hurts male-identified people and male liberationists regardless of their sexual orientation.
Allow me to make this pretty basic: Men continue to be fed the message that being gay is bad. Being gay means you’re not really a man, which means you lose your dude membership and the bulk of your male privilege. And since gayness equals the slightest shred of attraction to or intimacy with another male, all manners of bromance must be squashed.
In short, many guys live in a state of silent terror in this regard.
Bi men are afraid of being banished from the world of lady-loving, gay men are worried about losing all of their connections to hetero land, and nothing is worse for a straight man than being called a fag.
Constant monitoring, constant filtering, constant stress: Is this really the kind of world we guys want to keep living in?
By being able to talk about bisexuality — remember: one of our only non-monosexual identities — male-identified people can begin to break free from the masculine ideal.
Bi talk helps bridge the gap between being a man (straight) and not being a man (gay) and realizing, hey, having some manner of attraction to or intimate interaction with another guy is totally okay, masculinity unscathed.
Gay men can begin to regain their identities as men, bi men can finally start coming out, and “fag” will lose its strength as an insult from one straight man to another.
*Note: Male liberationists are more or less seen as allies to feminists and vice versa. Both will argue that patriarchy is bad, but while feminists talk of how it’s bad for females, male liberationists talk of how it’s bad for males. Examples include the inability to romantically or sexually love another male, the emasculation of men of color, and the physical, verbal, and mental abuse that comes from society’s expectations to be stereotypically masculine.
3. People Who Identify as Trans Sexual, Trans Gender, Genderfluid, Genderqueer, or Gender Non-Conforming
This one’s pretty easy. Some people on the trans spectrum identify as bisexual. But then they’re told they can’t or that it’s an insult to their trans siblings because bisexuality is believed to be trans-exclusive.
The problem with bi erasure is it adds to the ongoing problem of cis people — LGQ or not — telling trans people what to think. Cis people have a bad habit of thinking they need to speak for people on the trans spectrum even when trans people are quite capable of speaking for themselves. This is even more frustrating when it comes from a community supposedly meant to support them.
Despite the personhood for which they’re continuing to fight, trans people can receive backlash from the lesbian, gay, and queer communities as their identities and bodies are turned into political battlegrounds.
Sometimes, they’re used without consent by some cis individuals so that points can be made for non-trans-specific agendas, and sometimes they’re ironically used in the attempts for cis identities to help better the trans worlds.
For instance, automatically dismissing bisexuality as trans-exclusive and guilting any person on the trans spectrum that wants to identity as bisexual, if I may make so fine a point.
As blogger Aud Traher writes, “If you want to support trans people like me, don’t erase me or speak over me or cause me harm out of self-righteous biphobia. Look into yourself and deal with that internalized biphobia and then help others get over theirs. Don’t advocate for the destruction of a community in the name of ‘saving’ it. And, especially, don’t do it in my name.”
4. People Who Identify as Gay, Lesbian, or — Yes — Straight
Quite simply, it makes gays and lesbians (and straight people) look bad, too.
Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently upholding the gender binary by saying they love only (cis) men or (cis) women, but isn’t that pretty much exactly what gays, lesbians, and straight people are saying when they identify as gay, lesbian, or straight? That they’ll only love either (cis) men or (cis) women?
But where’s their rampant backlash from the rest of the community for upholding the gender binary? I’m just sayin’.
Even when these groups extend their definitions to include trans people and people on the gender non-conforming spectrum, it’s often still as long as those trans people exhibit some manner of gender representation that falls into the lover’s category of desire.
Now, I’m honestly not trying to rag on gays, lesbians, or even straight people. They have as much right to identify how they want as anybody else. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling primarily attracted to only, say, cis or trans men if your brain simply tells you that you only like guys. That’s fine. Go ahead and do that. I’m not saying you can’t.
What I am saying is you can’t be spewing bi hate or letting bi erasure slide because 1) it’s incredibly one-sided and unfair, and 2) in the end, it’s making you look bad, too.
What do you think will happen if bi erasure is a success? You’ll be next, dears.
*cue Jaws theme*
5. People Who Identify as Queer, Pansexual, or Another Fellow Non-Monosexual
In late October, Lizzy the Lezzy — who I quite enjoy, by the way — shared a photo on her Facebook timeline explaining sexuality in terms of guests at a BBQ.
This would be all well and good if it didn’t include a glaring misconception about bisexual people, especially when compared to pansexuals. While bisexual people were defined as getting both hot dogs and hamburgers, pansexuals were defined as getting hot dogs, hamburgers, “and a salad.” Oops. What year is this again?
I’m going to make something very plain to you, dear reader: Bisexual people don’t just love (cis) men or (cis) women. That’s not how the ballpark definition goes. The “bi” in “bisexual” does not indicate a binary. Well, okay, it does indicate a binary, but probably not the one you think.
Instead of “bi” meaning a love for only cis men or cis women or otherwise putting men and women at two opposite ends of a spectrum, “bi” means a love for identities bisexual people identify with themselves and identities that they don’t.
Or, as the popular Robyn Ochs definition goes: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”
Look at that very closely. That’s still a binary. That’s still “bi.” And there isn’t a thing wrong with it, no exclusion to be seen.
When compared with the general concepts of pansexuals and queers, our orientations suddenly sound pretty darn similar: We love everyone.
Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently being transphobic. While we’ve already seen a little bit in #3 as to why we aren’t, I want to further drive the point home here. A large portion of the transphobic accusations toward us come from the queer and pansexual communities, which in turn seem to derive from some serious misinformation and misdirection by the mainstream.
For the record, queers and pansexuals are cool. I like them. But the fact of the matter is that the misconception of the “bi” in “bisexual” as meaning an attraction to only (cis) men or (cis) women — and therefore upholding the gender binary — was created and imposed upon bisexual people by the mainstream. You know, the people that want the gender binary to stick around.
And some queers and pansexuals ate the propaganda they were fed? That’s terrifying. It starts to show just how large and sneaky the mainstream’s gender binary monster truly is.
By defining and erasing bisexuality on the grounds that it upholds the gender binary, pansexuals and queers are not only reinforcing the binary they so sorely wish to dismantle, but they are losing important focus on where the problem actually resides: the mainstream’s insistence to force the gender binary on non-mainstream groups such as bisexual people.
Further, holding bisexual people responsible for the abuse they’ve suffered is simply wrong. All that’s doing is blaming the victim. But, by recognizing and respecting bisexual people as they truly are, bisexual people can not only help dismantle the gender binary and put a new definition on the concept of the spectrum, but finally be allowed to team up with pansexuals and queers to crush mainstream abuse on non-mainstream identities.
Doesn’t that sound nice? I think it sounds nice.
TL;DR
Dear non-bisexual identities, please stop shooting yourselves in the foot and then wondering why you’re missing toes.
We’re here for the same reasons you are: for the right to love whoever we want and for the right for others to do the same.
So let’s finally be friends. We’re never going to get anything done if we keep spending our time putting each other down.
#bisexuality#lgbtq community#bi#lgbtq#support bisexuality#bisexuality is valid#lgbtq pride#pride#bi pride#bi tumblr#bi erasure#bisexual love#bisexual male#bisexual education#bisexual youth#bisexual nation#lgbt+ community#bisexual community#lgbt education#respect bisexuality#support bisexual people
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Long unscripted un-grammar-checked rant about the terms inclusionist/exclusionist being really frustrating without further context on DNI/BYF type descriptions.
absolute worst fucking thing about the lesbophobia discourse that erupted on twitter over the past few years is that its made the term “exclusionist” actually muddy enough that i have to actually question whether someones BYF applies to me or not when “exclusionists dni” is given with no further context. The exclusion of ace, aro, and pan people is obviously included in the definition and a shitty thing to be exclusionist about (genuinely like whether or not aphobia is on the same “level” as other lgbtaq-phobias like fucking hell who gives a shit its 2021 people are marginalized and oppressed for lack of attraction its a *thing* trying to tier list levels of lgbtaq discrimination is fucking garbage).
But then the whole twitter shit brings in both Completely Fucking Okay Things For Lesbians To Be (Identifying as transmasculine (transmasc =/= a trans man, its not that complicated.), using pronouns other than she/her, being genderfluid, being capable of attraction to nonbinary people) which are ALSO bad to exclude, and also like. Things That Are Kinda Fucking Structurally Unsound (using lesbianism as a modifier on other orientation identities just to signify a preference for women, as if solidarity as wlw can only be achieved through trying to normalize lesbian being as broad as possible) and some fringe shit that frankly doesn’t matter bc it doesn’t come up as much as the “identifying as contradictory identities at the same time” thing and frankly doesn’t matter nearly as much as even *that* fringe nonsense
basically, annoyed that people don’t clarify what they think should or shouldn’t be excluded. the vast majority of things are bad to exclude but *christ* if we could just used “aphobes/transphobes/nbphobes/panphobes/lesbophobes/[etc] dni” instead of a nebulous catchy buzzword to indicate the good and or bad people we do or don’t like thatd. be good.
(as i write this i realize that its *also* completely applicable to “inclusionist” as well. they’re both crappy outside of their more specified contexts and the fact that one wave of bigoted internet arguing has defined the language of that going forward without the words being actually *clarified* in common use is just fucking tiresome)
#aphobes panphobes lesbophobes homophobes and transphobes go away#antisemites also arent invited to the party even tho you bastards arent at all relevant to this
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