#i hope you get your well deserved mangoes

[icanseethefuture333]

PAC: How you will blossom in life & as an individual 🌺

"A flower that blooms in adversity, is the most rare and beautiful of all..." - Mulan

Pile 1:

Shufflemancy -

Moonlight Sunrise by Twice

Spring Is Coming With A Strawberry In The Mouth by Caroline Polachek

Fashion by Kamaiyah

Success, Patience, Acceptance, Abundance, Knight of Cups, The Hierophant, Four of Wands, & The World

Bottom of my tarot deck was the world and bottom of my oracle deck was abundance. So it seems that prosperity is right around the corner for you, pile 1! You are going to be entering a period of abundance and the universe will provide clarity and wisdom for you for this spring. I heard "The world is yours", so I feel that through life experiences, you will blossom and grow as a person. You are going to come in contact with a divine counterpart and it will feel almost too good to be true. I almost wrote "gold" so something about them shines the light in you. I also interpret this as embracing all aspects of love, such as allowing yourself to receive it (either from yourself or from others) as well as giving love. People could tell you that you're glowing more and overall your essence and appearance will become very radiant. It is possible that the person, or even people, that you will meet are going to highlight your best attributes. You will be able to be yourself around others and your true self will be greatly admired. I also see that your beauty and personal style will be very eye catching. You could learn to dress for your body type or you will try a new makeup look that enhance your features. Your individuality could be valued and admired by others, the glimmer in your eyes as you talk about your hopes, dreams, goals, or even what makes you happy would really be noticeable. For some of you, you could fall in love, while for others, you will make a friend, perhaps its both. Everything you ever waited and wanted for in life is going to happen to you. In life, you were someone who was always patient and observant of others, but the desires you seek is now time for you to have a turn to experience. You are learning to hoist your sails and steer the ship, instead of going against the water's current. You will be proud of how far you've come and will be able to celebrate your accomplishments soon! You could also be invited to parties or social events where your will get to make connections with others. Fixed energy (Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, especially Taurus) is prominent in this pile, so it is likely you are going to attract opportunities for money as well that could provide you with a sense of confidence, mental clarity, emotional security, and financial stability. The message for you pile 1, is that "you deserve it". You are deserving love, happiness, and abundance. Be sure not to block your blessings by focusing on your insecurities, accept what you cannot change. Find the beauty in the present and what surrounds you.

Pile 2:

Shufflemancy -

LA DI DA by EVERGLOW

Mango Butter by Durand Bernarr

Link Up by Tinashe

Surrender, Friendship, Trust, Change, Seven of Cups, The High Priestess, The Emperor, & Knight of Pentacles

Forming a bond with others and allowing others to help you on your journey, pile 2, will you help blossom as an individual. You are a confident individual who knows their worth and you have a good head on your shoulders, but there is this aspect of constantly needing to be independent that is stunting your growth. Hyper-independence will not get you anywhere in life, it will only add to your stress and frustration. While you are someone who is successful in your endeavors, you do not allow yourself to trust in others. You could have possibly been raised with the mindset of "hustle culture" or could go by the saying I've been "grindin' all my life". Most people who reached to the top didn't do it all by themself. Whenever someone accepts an award, there are people that they have to thank for their contribution to their work. Whether that was a album, a film, a book, etc. It takes a team effort to get the end result. So you can be the star of the movie, you can be the main character, but watching a film that involves only one person doesn't really make sense. Unless this is the movie "Castaway", then you are going to need to have people in your life to help elevate you as a person. You have to be willing to learn the lessons necessary for your character development. Trust others could be something that is difficult for you but you know that you are smart, pile 2. If someone does not seem like a good apple, you are not obligated by any means to stay friends with them. The universe asks you to surrender and let go of the need to control everything, allow situations to unfold unnaturally. As much as we want life to be peaceful and never have to deal with negativity. It's not realistic, life is balanced, it has its ups and downs - good and bad. You need a friend who will help relieve that stress you are feeling in the moment. Learn to relax and unwind, you don't need to be strong all the time. You will blossom in life and as a person when you embrace having fun, letting your hair down, and being carefree.

Pile 3:

Shufflemancy -

Rocky by SAAY

Let Out The Beast by EXO

You Don't Understand by Gramatik

Freedom, Loneliness, Death, Failure, Five of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, Three of Cups, & Ace of Swords

Oh boy, are you in your angst era, pile 3? You could feel misunderstood and attacked by others. Growing up, it is possible that others would put you down and make you feel less about yourself. A select few of you have experienced bullying, some of you are dealing with unreasonable classmates or coworkers, while for others, your parents or family members were the first bullies you had. Whatever the case may be - you do not need to fight with these people anymore. You are free to walk away from at any given moment. I know that sounds easier said done but it is time for you stop letting people walk over you. This also may sound harsh but you have to get over this victim mindset as well. You are awesome person, pile 3, but holding onto grudges and toxic situations is not going to help you. You will blossom as a individual when you just stop giving a fuck about what these people have said or done to you. Do what you have to do to release the pent up emotions and say your piece then move on. Some of you, need to let someone have it. As in cuss them out for their mistreatment and put that asshole in their place. You don't have to let people get the best of you but you do need to set boundaries with people and know when to say "enough is enough". You are too nice to others and being cool, calm, and collected is not going to fix your problems. I see you are going to feel so relieved after you do this and a weight will be lifted off of your shoulders once you finally confront these issues. I also see that your feelings of loneliness and not being able to "fit" in or make connections with people will not concern you anymore. Your confidence is going to transform tremendously and I honestly am loving this for you, pile 3! I see that you could get the promotion you should have had a long time ago, get the grade you wanted in class, etc. Regardless of what it is, your hard work is going to be acknowledged and rewarded. I also believe you will find some sort of remedy in your relationships and people will start to really cherish you and will treat you with the respect you deserve. Some of you could go to counseling and therapy as well that will provide you with the tools necessary to resolve past trauma. Pile 3, you are going to be able to find your voice again and realize your thoughts and ideas should be heard, they no longer have to be dismissed anymore.

Pile 4:

Shufflemancy -

Godspeed by Frank Ocean

Found Love by Sofya Wang

Ribs by Lorde

Forgiveness, Indecision, Worry, Gratitude, The Star, Eight of Swords, Ten of Cups, & Five of Cups (reversed)

I feel you are missing someone or something, pile 4. There is this nostalgic and dreamy energy that you have. It feels bittersweet and for the season of spring, you could be reminiscing on your past. Perhaps you are remembering memories of someone that was dear to you. Some of you could have experienced the loss of a loved one or there is a distance between you and a place, person, etc. This is causing you to feel worried about your future and ponder about if you have made the right decisions in life. I feel that in order for you to blossom in life, you will have to experience "growing pains". This feels like a coming of age story or wishing to regain your innocence and youth. No matter how old you are, as long as you are living at this very moment, you can do anything you set your mind to. Whether you are an adolescent, someone in their 30s, or even middle aged. You have a great life ahead of you but you will not be able to see this bright future of yours if you do not put yourself out there and at least try. Our memories can be great but also painful but we look to those moments for strength for when we need to realize how far we have come. Instead of feeling remorse about your past decisions or worrying about what's going to happen, find the beauty of the unknown. Practice gratitude and appreciate everything that brought you to this very moment. If you cannot forgive others, forgive yourself my love, forgive yourself for your past mistakes. You do not need to harbor these heavy feelings anymore. There are happy times and joyous moments with loved ones going to come to you seen, as soon as you reflect upon your beliefs. Journaling and practicing affirmations will help you navigate these feelings and build self esteem. This is a period of healing, pile 4. Please hold on just a little bit longer and have faith that things will get better!

Pile 5:

Shufflemancy -

Cigar by HA:TFELT

Mizu by Sophia Black

Kerosene by Crystal Castles

Peace, Self Esteem, Service, Happiness, The Temperance, Queen of Cups, Three of Wands, & The Fool

I remember a quote by Bruce Lee where he said "To be like water, my friend" and I believe that means to just go with the flow in life. If try to force things and it does not work, just try another way. It's pointless to get upset about your way of doing things isn't working, try another way! Instead of being stubborn, you can have endless opportunities to use your creative thinking skills to make your life easier and better. I believe for spring you should do some spring cleaning, whether is cleaning your home, saging your room, or going to a river to take a dip in the water. Now would be a good time to bask in the fruits of your labor and enjoy the fruition of things unfolding. To blossom at this point in your life, you need to take things slow, and appreciate what beauty is in your surroundings. You could start noticing things you never have before. Like "Oh I never knew I had this beautiful tree in my neighborhood!" or "Wow I didn't know this great restaurant was right around the corner of my home!". Just allow yourself to explore your options and not think about what needs to be perfect. This is going to be a period of happiness, peace, and relaxation for you. I overall see that you need to rest and make time to enjoy going out or even make your home a beautiful place. You need to Marie Kondo your life, pile 5! Do what it is you need to unwind from all the stress. Be generous and practice some self care. Go to a spa, get a massage, redecorate your home, drink tea, read a book, take a bath with salts or bath bombs, etc. These activities will help put you at ease and give you the time to think about what you like to do with your life. I see that you will travel, take trips, and focus on self love this spring. You are going to be your own best friend and put yourself for once instead of always being at service to others.

Pile 6:

Shufflemancy -

Dusk by Chelsea Wolfe

Happy Without Me by Chloe x Halle ft. Joey Bada$$

You Should Be Here by Kehlani

Pride, Growth, Purpose, Adversity, Queen of Pentacles, Four of Swords, Knight of Wands, & Ten of Wands

I believe you are being prideful and refusing to make a decision regarding a situation, pile 6. You need to face the music about your actions and what is holding you back. This could be pertaining to a relationship that is not helping you elevate yourself in life. Whether this is a ex, current partner, a situationship, etc. This on and off relationship, that you refuse to accept needs to end, is going to continue to drain you of your time and energy. If you are not seeing someone, then there are codependency issues that you need to understand where it comes. You could have this vice that you are very attached to and without it - you become sick, depressed, and unstable. You do not need anyone or anything to make you feel validated and worthy. You are an amazing person but no one can make you see that but you. You cannot want to get better if you keep depending on materialistic things or the feeble words of others to boost your self esteem. No one needs to have a purpose in life to deserve to have a wonderful life. Your purpose is being here. Destiny, fate, or karma cannot define your self worth and affect what choices you decide to make. Take back your power today and stop looking for other people or the universe to be the voice of reason you need. You have a choice and you can do whatever you wish with that said choice. Life can be challenging and there are bumps in the road but pile 6, you will feel so proud of yourself when you overcome the trials and the tribulations. You will blossom as an individual once you learn to dust the dirt off your shoulder and understand that no matter what happens you will be okay because you have yourself.

Pile 7:

Shufflemancy -

Call For Help by Pearly Drops

I know I'm Funny Haha by Faye Webster

Growing by JGrrey

Perseverance, Relationships, Humor, Grief, Ten of Swords, The Magician (Reversed), Four of Cups, & The Tower

Pile 7, I feel that you are someone who is considered to be all "peaches and sunshine". You naturally have a positive disposition about life and could use humor as a way to elevate the mood. You are a bright source of light for others in this world. You are someone people can go to when they are feeling down and troubled and that is a very beautiful thing. The downside to this, pile 7, is that you are experiencing your own troubles and hardships that no one can see. I don't believe you discuss with others about the grief you have experienced despite having loved ones you have a great connection with. To blossom as an individual, pile 7, you need to embrace being open with others and understand that you are still lovable if you are not always happy. You have a gorgeous smile and when you use it to mask your pain, it becomes a concern. You don't have to handle it all by yourself. Call a friend or a family member to talk about everything you've been dealing with, you could see people will understand or care more than you may realize. Yes other people could be dealing with something in life but it is possible to check on someone as well and make sure they're okay. You are not a burden and you are loved. I also interpret this as you needing to call and check on someone close to you. Whether that's a old friend, your parents, your siblings, or someone you have grown distant from. This could be someone you've known since childhood because I smelled crayons and heard "green eggs and ham". I believe this could also mean you need to reconnect with your inner child. You may not believe in things that a child believes anymore such as magic, fairytales, and mythical creatures. It is okay to engage in fantasies every once in a while, for those sweet, innocent moments helps get away from the world during trouble times. Look at pictures of you when you were young, visit your childhood home, eat a snack you used to loved as a kid, go to a park, watch cartoons, or buy yourself some coloring pencils, markers, toys, etc. Just do an activity that allows you to spend time with your inner child and have fun! In your youth, or growing up, some of you may have struggled with acne but for the month of spring I see that your skin will really start to clear up! For some of you, Melanie Martinez and Tierra Whack's music could be significant. You may have had a phase where you were a big fan of these artists or you should get into their music for it may pertain to your situation. Their song "copy cat" is a message for some of you. Your blossoming period could be uncomfortable in some aspects, pile 7. You may end a friendship with someone or feel the need to move on from what it is not serving you. This change in your life will help you find your way back to yourself. You could have felt disconnected or confused about what is your true identity. Once you shed other's expectations and desires on who you should be, you will be able to experience to true joy. Your spring blessing is to be able to feel secure and comfortable with you really are.

Pile 8:

Shufflemancy -

Let Go by Frou Frou

Freefall by KATRANADA ft. Durand Bernarr

Doctor, My Eyes by Khamari

Judgment, Health, Imagination, Balance, The Hermit, The Empress, Five of Cups, & Death

You are being called to take a leap of faith, pile 8. Freefall into this new period in your life and allow you to see the wonders of life. Have faith and trust that the universe to always catch you. Release your need to judge and constantly criticizing your or other people's imperfections. You are the most prosperous in life when you just let go of the bullshit. You have to be able to realize there is abundance even if you do not see it yet. This is a funny example but I remembered the meme of the girl rapping "but did you die tho?". You could be someone who is considered to be "melodramatic" (real) and act as if the world is ending just because of a minor inconvenience. You are here, what are you going to do about it? Are you gonna cry over spilled milk or continue to push on and do something that makes you happy. Find a balance in expressing certain emotions before you react. You will blossom as an individual when you learn to practice emotional intelligence and know that you are always going to be okay in the end. Have the mindset of "Asked me how I'm doing? I'm blessed, yes." I wrote this at 111 so that angel number is a sign for you to pay attention to your thoughts at this time and instead focus on your manifestations babe! I feel like your guides wish to tell you to stop acting bratty like they adore you but you have your moments where you let your emotions get the best of you and you start to act really spoiled. I'm hearing the lyrics "Good karma, that's my aesthetic, keep my conscious clear that's why i'm so magnetic" and I believe that is all I can reveal to you, pile 8. You already know what desires you seek and how to bring it into fruition, just make sure you stay humble and stop reacting to things that are pointless and won't pertain to you in the next 24 hours. Make sure to get a health check up as well this spring, your eye health could need to be examined or you may need to look into getting glasses or contacts.

Pile 9:

Shufflemancy -

Changing Seasons from the Persona 5 soundtrack

Bluetooth by Piri & Tommy

Borderline by SUNMI

Doubt, Empathy, Fear, Regret, The Moon, The Hanged Man, Page of Cups, & Five of Swords

I feel that this is pile is interested in Y2K, gaming, and technology. You could be more of a hands on person and enjoy objects that allow you to touch, mold, or shape things with your hands. Some of you could be neurodivergent and enjoy using tools that allow you to stim whether that is slime, clay, ceramics, etc. You are really good with your hands and solving things with technology. You could also have a future career in fields such as STEM, video game design, gaming, music production, computer programmer, etc. You are someone who has their unique way of thinking and this is intriguing to others. Your features could be very physically cute as well. This could be weird to say but to people they think of you as a tomodachi, they just want to put you in their pocket, and carry you around. People desire to take care of you. You may think your quirks are considered unlikeable but this is not true. You may not be everyone's cup of tea but there are plenty of people who find you beautiful, pile 9. I feel that there is someone who may even have a crush on you. You could feel things more intensely than others and could deal with feelings of anxiety. You may have trouble sleeping at night due to racing thoughts, thinking of past regrets, and feeling guilty for things that you have done. Pile 9, you have to let go these thoughts and realize that it is just a thought. I am remembering the song "Here Comes A Thought" from Steven Universe. You do not have to suffer because you have troubling thoughts or a mental condition that causes you to be different than others. You may think you are doing others a favor by keeping away and staying in isolation, but it is doing you more harm than good in the end. You may also feel stuck and that you won't be able to get your current circumstances but that is just an illusion. The doubts, the thoughts, the circumstances is all an facade. You can get past this and you can fall in love, make friends, or pursue your dreams exactly the way you are. You do not need to be like anyone else but you. You will blossom, pile 9, once you embrace your remarkable qualities and also your flaws. No one is perfect and just because you have either a condition or personality that may not click with everyone else, it does not mean you cannot be happy, successful, and accepted by others. This spring, you should turn over a new leaf for yourself. Try to start with small goals and take your time. I wish you the best of luck :)!

[menagerofmischief]

Dia's Diner

Welcome to Dia's Diner, here you'll be able to order your meal (fic) with as many specifications and dishes as you want. We hope you leave satisfied ;)

first step is choosing who you want your fic to be about, so pick a server (you can even pick two)

SERVERS:

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Carlos Sainz Jr.

Lewis Hamilton 

George Russel

Lando Norris

Oscar Piastri

Daniel Riccardo

Alex Albon

Fernando Alonso

Franco Collapinto 

Pierre Gasly

Esteban Ocon

Lance Stroll

Ollie Bearman

Kimi Antonelli

Mick Schumacher

Arthur Leclerc

Sebastian Vettel

Mark Webber

Jenson Button

Nico Rosberg

Toto Wolff

every good meal starts with an appetizer, by choosing your appetizer you're setting the main trope of the fic

STARTERS:

charcuterie board (dating)

artichoke dip (brother’s friend)

olives and cheese (friends to lovers)

stuffed cherry tomatoes (sugar daddy)

hummus nachos (teammates)

shrimp cocktail (rivals to lovers)

and how you want it served

HOT OR COLD: 

hot appetizer (sweet sex) 

cold appetizer (rought sex) 

now it's time to order the main dish, feel free to choose as many as you want

MAINS:

lobster (“I love watching my cum leak out from your pussy”)

caviar and oysters (“Gonna look so good full of my babies”)

fish and chips (“Where are your manners?”)

steak (“Made just for me. My pretty little cocksleeve”)

burger and fries (“Hurts? That’s too bad baby, should have thought about it before being such a slut”)

buffalo wings (“Count them for me”)

ramen (“What would your brother think if he saw us?”)

gyros (“Gonna fill you up”)

full english (“My pretty little slut”)

pizza (“My good girl”)

pesto pasta (“Slow down, you just told me to speed up. What’s it gonna be silly girl?”)

carbonara (“Look so good on my cock”)

sausage rolls (“I’ll make it fit”)

sushi (“Better quiet down, you don’t want them to hear us.)

tacos (“I’m gonna give you an attitude check”)

chicken quesadilla (“So pretty with my cock down your throat”)

crab cakes (“Yeah, gonna swallow like a good girl?”)

chicken nuggets (“Couldn’t help being a brat, could you?”)

kimchi (“Be a good girl and take it”)

tomato soup (“Running away from my dick? I don’t think so.”)

cheese fries (“I love making you squirt”)

stuffed potato (“Just where you belong … on your knees for me”)

sarma (“Gonna put a baby in you”)

moussaka (“You look your best covered in my cum”)

caesar salad (“Lie to me again and you’re not gonna like what happens next”)

chicken skewer (“Be a good girl and cum for me”)

mac and cheese (“Only good girls get to cum”)

mango sticky rice (“Next time you try that shit I’ll make him watch while I fuck you”)

chicken fingers (“Yeah, you like being filled in both ends like a slut”)

butter chicken rice (“If you want it then you better beg for it”)

eggs and bacon ("Are you gonna stop moving or am I gonna hold you down?")

spring rolls ("All you do is complain, perhaps I should shut you up")

sloppy joe ("You have the prettiest mouth. Why don't you put it to good use?")

kebab ("Look at that my cock is splitting you in half")

grilled cheese ("I buy you nice things and then I get to fuck you in them. Sounds fair to me")

pot roast ("You going to let me take my anger out on you, sweetheart?")

chili ("Look at you humping my thigh like a bitch in heat")

california rolls ("Scream my name - I want everyone to know who's making you feel this good)

PB&J ("Look at him while I make you cum")

dumplings ("Ride this cock - it's your cock")

black pudding ("There we good, you're such a good girl, taking you punishment so well")

smoked salmon ("My good girl deserves a reward")

fish tacos ("Just lie back and let me take care of you")

seafood boil ("Maybe I'll make a mix tape of your moans to listen to while I drive")

spaghetti with meatballs ("Why don't you put on that pretty little set I bought for you?")

veggie burger ("Feel how hard you make me")

hot dog ("Thought about you while touching myself. The real things is much better")

ratatouille ("I'll mark you up so much no man will dare talk to you again")

bacon pancakes ("I love when you wear dresses. It's so easy to flip it up and fuck you")

chicken alfredo ("You haven't been very good, have you? And you know what happens to bad girls")

avocado toast ("Look at you all dumb and crying on my cock")

lasagna ("Where did all that cockiness go now that it's time to take your punishment?)

gnocchi ("You like when I treat you like a toy, don't you?)

mashed potatoes and gravy ("You had no problem getting fucked in here like a slut. Then you should have no problem walking out there with my cum dripping down your legs")

having a drink with your dish really elevates the experience, drinks represent different kinks

DRINKS:

ice tea (oral giving/receiving)

sweet tea (morning sex)

redbull (filming sex)

mint tea (body worship giving/receiving)

white wine (sir kink)

vodka redbull (squirting)

white claw (pegging)

red wine (daddy kink)

rose (spanking)

champagne (threesome)

old fashioned (drunk sex)

whiskey (double penetration)

mai thai (mirror sex)

cosmopolitan (temperature play)

beer (bondage)

root beer (blindfold)

apple cider (spitting)

apple juice (edging)

orange juice (overstimulation)

pineapple juice (wax play)

smoothie (hickeys)

boba (anal)

matcha (toys)

vanilla milkshake (nipple play)

hot chocolate (dry humping)

chocolate milk (thigh riding)

espresso (dom/sub)

black coffee (chocking)

mocha coffee (degradation)

pumpkin spice latte (losing virginity)

fanta (size kink)

coca-cola (somnophillia)

coke zero (free use)

pepsi (car sex)

lemonade (public sex)

strawberry lemonade (breeding)

coconut water (jealous sex)

sparkling water (phone sex)

iced water (dirty talk)

to end the night you might consider getting a dessert, in this case dessert is aftercare

DESSERT: 

yes (aftercare included) 

no (aftercare not included)

special instructions: tell me your favorite track/race at the end of your request and I'll throw you in a freebie on the house that goes best with your order

Thank you for visiting! Here at Dia's Diner your pleasure is our priority, so be on the look out for new additions to our menu. Come back again.

A/N: I'm so grateful for each and every one of your requests, but I just ask that you be patient about waiting for it since I don't have much free time because of school.

[soulrph]

chaotic unhinged lines from 2022-2023 (prompt edition).

basically in 2021 i made a list of prompts inspired by lines in tiktok videos and instagram reels that made me laugh so hard i cried! and now i have returned with another list! these may provide an alarmingly clear image of what my sense of humor is (aka broken) but i figure a little levity is always a good thing! more prompts are forthcoming, but in the mean time: bon appetit!

knowledge has always chased you, but you've always been faster.

no... no, that was mango apathy juice. from the farmer's market.

of all these people, you are the one i understand the least. i want to get to know you better, but like, not that much better.

i-i will CHEW YOUR MEAT!! WHAT are you doing?!

ooooh god, no, you wouldn't be long getting frostbit!

you are evil. like a hobbit.

WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME SO OFTEN?!?!!?

i have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

AHEM!! fill my cup.

may god ignore you like you ignored my greetings.

i will avenge you mister van gogh.

call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder. here's fifteen dollars.

you're not in love. you may think you are, you dumb fuck, but you're not.

go ahead and put the ranch away.

sadly, "hopefully" doth butter no parsnips.

forget school, i want to be an italian sandwich.

you shouldn't skip work, you are a lawyer and he is a hamster.

you can stop roleplaying now. you're free.

her coupon game was so fucking raw.

i'm sorry guys... he's making a salad.

you could get a straight guy here if you learned to make a good pasta. i'll teach you how to make a risotto that'll get you married and out of my basement.

hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have night meats?

it's not the most ethical thing in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.

no, children, you're wrong. once upon a time, there was a piece of wood.

and i'm not saying she deserved it, but i am saying that god's timing is always riiiiight.

hydrate or die-drate, ya DICK!

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD.

new york city is a fictional place written up by someone with a sinister mind and a knack for comedy.

this is grindr my guy.

wait, i didn't finish teaching you the difference between human and wolf anatomy.

it's time to tell your grandmother that she was wrong. do not be afraid.

vanilla vodka... you fucking child.

without ash to rise from, a phoenix would just be a bird getting up.

you are fucking alive. do what you want.

why are you cradling me like a baby, friend? this isn't how guys of my generation hang out.

i hope a hedgehog shits in your cereal, you difficult person.

you know, i am not as mean as i would like to be. and i think people should appreciate that more.

see, i am not a kangaroo.

well, i'd like to help, but... you see... not as much as i'd like not to.

rest in peace you fucking onion fairy.

when god sings with all his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

i fight for a seat in heaven, every. single. day.

map maker? can you find me somewhere on the map where this big man thinks he's the king?

you bald-headed demon...

so... there are 24 million pigs in australia... and 24 million people... so if you ever feel lonely, there's like, a pig out there that's sort of your cosmic twin.

remember, alcohol is god's apology for making us self-aware.

i'm straight!! stop CONFUSING me!!!!!

you guys want something to eat? because... i know we'll die if we don't eat.

he is a BIBLICALLY gorgeous man. i wanna feed him grapes. i wanna fan him with the frond of a date palm from the forests of Lebanon. i wanna find the alabaster vial of perfume oil that one woman broke for jesus and comb it through his hair. like... he's stressing me OUT.

i'm not sad! i'm freaking HUNGRY!

maybe, if we wait a little bit longer, a fuck will fall into my hand, and i can give it to you.

it's not my fault you thought you lived in this IKEA.

let's leave my mother out of this.

jason may kill people but he's not bad enough to kick a dog.

i run for LUMP!

oh no, i'm all out of caring, baby!

you don't think it mcbe that way... but it mcdo.

what is this enticing bowl of white?

serious question, do his nipples sparkle?

what in the reese's peanut butter fuck is going on here?

if your parents don't buy it, stop loving them!

i just hope you know just how much you've decreased productivity today.

that was poetry at its FINEST.

and if you let that motherfucker shenan ONCE, you best believe they're gonna shenanIGAN!

may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took her mom to the hospital to give birth to her.

that's modern milk for ya. what a time to be alive.

you have attachment issues. please fix it.

remember when people had secrets? we should bring that back.

the moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal.

i don't like the cobra chicken.

i didn't know eggs were this expensive? it's time to lay my own, i fear.

so you're saying the reason i don't have a girlfriend is because i'm not a big enough threat yet.

god gave him a top lip, that's why he's so powerful.

it's a common mistake, but frankenstein was actually the author.

i finally got a pocket-sized diary!!! also i don't get the concept of life.

if a beautiful woman disagrees with me, i will immediately change my view. i've no principles.

how did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?

if so much as one tear drops from their eye... i will slap you back into your mum.

you are ringing a phone that does not like to be rung.

look how Dr. doofenschmirtz had a fucked up childhood but didn't project his trauma onto his teenage daughter. he projected it onto a platypus.

it is mathematically impossible for you to get a wedgie.

i'm breaking up with you. i love you, it's just... i don't think you could protect me from a mummy.

if you can't do fractions....... you will fucking die.

that's right; in the year 1791, all of our bottoms were killed in a Big Bottom Massacre.

people always assume i'm mean. like CAN you BELIEVE THAT CRAP?! like WHAT would make you think i'm MEAN?! I'M THE NICEST PERSON ON THE PLANET!

the chocolate milk is strikingly overpriced and at the same time very easy to steal; another of god's little tests.

someone's gotta tell the waiter that i ordered mashed 'taters and it sure as shit ain't gonna be me.

if i had a week i couldn't list all the reasons that wouldn't work.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Chocolate-Coated Confessions

Pairing: Kakashi x f!Reader

Summary: Kakashi's been jealously hating on Valentine's Day for a very long while, but he's pushed over the edge when you suggest you might be spending the night with someone else.

W/c: 1.5k

Warnings: Fluff, just jealousy really

Notes: he's down bad, lmk if this sucks <3

Masterlist💿

Valentine's day had never been Kakashi's favourite holiday. To him, it was a day filled with superficial displays of affection, a spectacle for those who mistook infatuation for love. Nobody in love would ever put on such a show, Kakashi reckoned as he strolled down the street to the market. As he walked, he let his eyes drift past the loving couples, holding flower bouquets and boxes of chocolates, alight with temporary delight. He couldn't help but wonder if anyone ever truly felt the emotions they so desperately attempted to display.

In his time at the Academy, a plethora of cards would be found on Kakashi's desk at the start of the day. He would always look through them casually, hoping to see your gorgeous scrawl on one of them. But he never did. As a Genin, and into his Chunin years, the girls moved from handmade cards to tiny candies and strange tokens. He'd accept the things, but usually just throw it all out by the night - he'd keep a few chocolates, just to comfort him. Kakashi didn't want their gifts, he wanted just a sliver of your attention. But he never got it, with you only holding conversation with him when he would instigate it.

You never made him a card, you never gave him a sweet - but you were the first to wish him a happy birthday since his fifth. Surely, that had to be some kind of love, right?

Kakashi trudged on, down the street, and into the fruit market. Once he stepped through the doors, Kakashi's eyes clapped onto you. Your back was turned, but he could recognize you anywhere. A picture of casual elegance, the sight of you made Kakashi's heart ache with a mixture of longing and resignation. You were so beautiful, and just destined to be his - but you didn't want him, not as anything more than a friend.

"Oh," you said, turning around to see Kakashi a few meters from you. Your smile was like a ray of sunshine, and as you approached, the subtle fragrance of your perfume enveloped him. "Hi, Kakashi. Lovely day, isn't it?"

"Isn't it just," Kakashi murmured shortly, though his thoughts were racing. "I thought you did your shopping on Thursdays."

"Just like you." The gentle laugh in your tone sent a vibration through Kakashi's body, electrifying him.

In defense, he replied, "I felt like cutting up a pineapple today, but I have no pineapple to cut."

"Don't do it," you said a little too quickly. Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed as he chuckled, amused at the slightly panicked expression that flitted across your face.

"Why not?"

"Er...because...well, just don't, okay? Trust me."

"Okay," he hummed, looking at the top of a pineapple sticking out of the bag in your arm. Curiousity piqued, he asked, "What's in the bag?"

"Not yet, Nosey Rosey," you quipped, skirting past Kakashi with a brush of your hip against his. Despite the confusion, Kakashi found himself smiling down at you as the sun caught your hair so beautifully.

Yet. He would get to find out eventually, to some capacity. It was a small win, but a win for Kakashi, none-the-less.

"I've got to go, there's a lot of work I still have to for today." Like always, you shied away from Kakashi just when you seemed to be opening up. "I'll see you later, Hatake."

Before he could respond, you turned and left the fruit market, going in the direction of your apartment complex. His words died on his lips as he watched you leave him, to go do work for today. Today. Valentine's Day.

What did you mean? Did you have a valentine? Were you making something for them? Who? Who deserved your love and how could Kakashi prove to you that he was more deserving?

Getting a couple of mangos instead, still craving pineapple, Kakashi kept your command in mind. He left the fruit market and had the mangos back in his apartment, where he read for a long few hours.

The day seemed to melt away, only eating away at Kakashi's beating heart - he didn't want to spend Valentine's Day alone anymore, and he certainly didn't want you spending it with anyone else.

It was time for action. Kakashi didn't care if he would be interrupting your hot date - in fact, he hoped he would be.

Springing from his bed around the stroke of five, Kakashi left his apartment for the confectionary a couple blocks away, getting a kilo of chocolate almonds, before heading to Yamanka Flowers. There, Kakashi bought the most expensive bouquet in the store, ignoring Ino when the little girl inquired about Kakashi's big date. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but he certainly wasn't going to dash the idea.

As he dashed around the Hidden Leaf, Kakashi thought about what to say to you. It was all situation dependant, he came to realize - and, eventually, Kakashi figured he would have to let his heart speak for him, for once.

After dragging his feet, still deeply in thought, closer to the hour of six, Kakashi slowly made his way to your apartment complex. Battling with his internal monologue, he ascended the stairs, and went straight to Unit 36. He had walked you to your door a few times, but you had never invited him in.

His breath was shaking, and the items felt heavier than bricks in his arms, but Kakashi was determined. He wanted you so badly, and he needed you even worse.

Smelling a dark but sweet scent coming from under your door, he rapped upon the wood three times. Kakashi could hear a bang, then a small shout, before the lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing you, as gorgeous as Kakashi had ever seen you.

Your hair was tied up messily, in disarray from the obvious culinary tasks you had taken on. A pastel pink apron hung from your neck, synching your waist, with white frills bordering the fabric. Chocolate was smeared on the front, in thin, abstract lines. The same chocolate was on your arms and hands, even a smudge having made it onto your cheek.

Kakashi took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on," he began, voice trembling slightly. Your smile widened as you leaned on the door, opening it wider for him. Gathering every shred of courage he had, Kakashi continued, "For years... all I have been able to think about is you, morning, noon, and night. Your face, your voice... they bring me comfort like nothing else."

He paused, collecting his breath and searching for any sign of what you were feeling, but something compelled him to go on before you could reject him.

"I've tried to ignore it, tried to move on, but I can't. You have a hold on my heart that I can't break. I...I need you to know...I love you." With a sharpness, you inhaled, and Kakashi sighed, "I love you more than words can describe... and it hurts to not know how you feel about me."

Breathing deeply from his monologue, Kakashi felt as though a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Even if you denied him, even if you told him your heart was for another, Kakashi would be okay, because, at least, now, you knew.

A beat of quiet passed through your apartment corridor as your eyes sparkled in the luminescent lighting. Then you simply giggled, "Do you still fancy a pineapple?"

Blinking rapidly, Kakashi asked, "What-?"

"C'mon, Lover Boy," you teased, motioning into your apartment with a smile that seemed to light up the room. "You don't know how much easier you've made things."

Still in a state of confusion, Kakashi wasn't going to turn down the invitation. He stepped into your apartment, taking in the large window and your twenty-some paintings that lined the walls. Snapping his attention back to you, Kakashi presented the bouquet and you took it up, holding the flowers close to your nose as you inhaled.

"I hope you don't think my thing is lame," you sighed, looking between the flowers and the bag of chocolate covered almonds that still resided in Kakashi's hand. "I didn't spend half as much money as you did."

"You...got me something?"

Brightly, you nodded with a deepened smile. "Yeah- well, no...kinda." You started walking toward the other room in the small apartment. "Come to the kitchen, I'll show you."

As he walked through your apartment, he took in all your little knick-knacks and chachkies. Everything in the room screamed about various corners of your personality, corners that Kakashi hoped to one day know like the back of his hand.

The kitchen was very white - white cabinets, white counters, white cupboards, white fridge, white backsplash, white oven. All white, except for a smattering of brown mess, all over two pots and the stove and the baking sheets that sat beside. You walked over nervously and motioned for Kakashi to do the same. As he got closer, he could decern chunks of various fruits and strawberries sat on the baking sheets, covered in chocolate.

"You...did this?" Kakashi asked, his voice filled with a mixture of awe and disbelief as he took in the array of chocolate-covered fruits. You nodded, eyes shining with anticipation. "For me?"

"All for you, Kakashi. Only for you."

You didn't know just how much Kakashi had prayed to hear those words come from your mouth. It was like he was dreaming, being given everything he ever wanted, and he grew anxious that it was.

Driven by a sudden surge of courage, Kakashi stepped forward and gently pressed his lips to yours. An electric jolt coursed through him as your hands instinctively cradled his cheek and the back of his neck. You melted into his embrace as he brought you close, fitting perfectly against him. Kakashi knew then that this was no dream; he was wide awake and finally living the reality he had longed for.

He also knew that he had to reevaluate Valentine's Day.

[bluehoodiewoozi]

The Cat-Parent Trap

Alternatively: Rocket, Mango, and the Idiots in Love

Vernon Chwe x Reader (gender not specified i think? i hope?)

Genre: fluff (figurative & literal)

Word Count: 8.3k

Wanings: some cursing / adult language. alcohol & drunk decisions. some mild jealousy. there are so many cats.

[Series: Serenity Street 17] You start feeding what appears to be a pair of neighbourhood cats. Turns out they belong to the cute guy living in the rooftop apartment.

Note: is this a Vernon romance fic or a typed-out version of my never-ending dreams of getting a cat with Vernon? no clue.

“Hello there, little guys.”

Your melodious greeting was met with an equally musical chorus of meows, purrs and chirps. The otherwise empty hallway filled with the soft patting of tiny feet, the footsteps getting louder as they rushed to greet you, never once forgetting to let out another chirp to tell you they missed you.

You couldn’t help but laugh a little at the way the smaller black one rubbed itself against your leg, jumping up a little to reach the tips of your fingers for affection. The other, white cat was more passive, merely meowing at you impatiently as she sat down barely a metre from you.

Though you expected no proper answer, you still asked them if they were hungry and how their days had been as you made your way over to the door. The apartment door – a proud golden number 4B shining on it – came unlocked with ease, even with the cats pressing against your calves and bumping against the door frame. 

“Give me a moment,” you told them and opened the door. 

The sight of the two cats running in like it was their home to begin with greatly amused you. Before you could even blink, the black cat had settled down on your couch, snuggling into your cushion. The other one jumped onto your kitchen chair, expectantly staring at you. 

You couldn’t help but wonder where they really lived. Were they just stray cats from the neighbourhood that one of the inhabitants had let in out of pity? Or did they have an owner somewhere in this building? Maybe it was the new couple upstairs: Wonwoo did seem rather fond of cats. Or perhaps they belonged to the grumpy guy from 1B – he seemed to rather adore animals as well.

Whoever their owner was or was not, you did not have the heart to turn these cats away when they asked for snacks so sweetly. 

At this point, it was second nature to toe off your shoes and head to the kitchen cabinet to pull out a small bag of treats and a bigger bag of dry food for cats. 

All it took was just the sound of the bags being taken out and both cats were once again circling you as if you deserved all the worship in the world. They only calmed down once you had placed the food in the little bowl you had bought for them a few weeks back. 

“Eat well,” you sang, and got started on your evening routine. You liked having these cats around – the two-bedroom apartment seemed less empty when the cats visited for an evening. 

Sometimes they stayed the night, with the white one happily curled up on your window sill as the black one in a comfy spot at the foot of the bed. You deeply cherished these nights and once again a thought came to mind: who was the one that got to enjoy their cuddles on most night – on the nights when they weren’t with you?

But even with these thoughts plaguing you, you felt a little selfish. You liked these cats. Asking around for their owner could lead to never seeing them again. And then what? You’d have to get a cat or two of your own. 

Wide-eyed, you paused in the middle of washing your teeth and stared at your reflection. “That’s not a bad idea.”

A small accusatory meow came from the bathtub, where the white cat had somehow settled down for the evening. You took that as a firm ‘no’ and continued your routine. 

Once you were settled in bed, the black cat joined you. Her paws immediately got busy kneading your blanket. You concluded that she either had no sense of loyalty or she really liked you.

You now found that sleep came easier with the cats in your apartment.

The next morning, you did your routine and let the cats out as you stepped out of the apartment. Their little chirps accusing you of abandoning them for the day just about broke your heart. But the show must go on, and they weren’t your cats to begin with. You sighed and began turning the key.

“Wait…” a low voice echoed in the hallway. 

Your head whipped around to face towards the staircase. A guy stood there, eyes wide as saucers.

It took you a moment to figure out what he was looking at so intently. It wasn’t you – unless he had a thing for feet –, so it must have been the two cats standing next to you.

To your surprise, the cats seemed equally baffled to see the guy there, their chirps ending momentarily as they stared right back at him as if they’d seen a shadow of their dark past.

“This is where you guys were the whole night?” the guy finally spoke, finally relaxing his posture and frown. 

As your eyes adjusted to the light, you found yourself in awe. This man looked like someone straight off a coming of age film poster. Did someone this good-looking really live in this complex?

No. There was no way. You would remember this face. He must have been visiting someone on the 6th floor. 

But then… why would he care about the cats?

“Do you live here?” you blurted out without much thinking, barely able to keep yourself from slapping a hand over your mouth right after. “Sorry, that was kind of rude. I–”

He chuckled. “I live upstairs, in 6A.” Your knees almost buckled when he walked over to you, picking up one of the cats. “And these guys, they live with me.”

Your mouth felt incredibly dry. “They’re your cats then?”

“Yep,” he nodded and fondly scratched the black cat under the chin, “raised this one myself. Her name is Rocket.”

You really didn’t mean to snort at the name. “Your cat’s name is Rocket?”

He shrugged, completely unbothered by your evident judgement. “I like it, she likes it, … my roommate likes it a bit too much.”

“Roommate?” 

Now you put the two and two together: the elusive pair of guys in the rooftop apartment, 6A. The guys that were rarely seen outside the apartment because they – or so it was rumoured by Seungkwan and Mingyu – were unapologetic introverts. That would explain why you had never seen this guy in all your months of living here.

“What were you guys doing here?” he asked the cats so softly you barely heard it. He never once ceased to scratch them. “I was all worried the whole night and here you guys are, cozying up to the pretty neighbour.”

You wondered if it was always this hot in the hallway. When was the last time somebody opened a window here? Maybe you needed to go out and get some fresh air. 

“Oh, right!” You slapped your own forehead and locked the door, giving it one last tug to check if you had really finished the task, before dashing down the stairs. 

“It was nice to meet you!” you called over your shoulder all the while running. You’d be damned if you were late to work because of a man and his cats. 

Once you were out of his line of sight and out of the building, you paused for a moment. The moment replayed in your head like a broken record and you slapped your cheeks to wake yourself. Why did you have to be so damn awkward?

You couldn’t help but sulk as the reality sank in on your way to work. 

“I didn’t even ask for his name.”

A week passed without the two cats. An uncharacteristically depressing and boring and long week. 

You had grown so used to their chirps and meows every other day. You had even bought a new bag of treats for them like you always did on Thursdays – even though the old one was still half-full.

When you made your way home after a walk on Saturday and saw a lump on your doorstep, you froze. Anxious hope filled you as you inspected it from afar. One step, two steps… On the third step, your anxiety turned into joy. 

“Rocket!” you called out to her sweetly and rushed over to pet her head. She purred at your touch. “I was starting to fear you moved or something.”

She only meowed in explanation and stretched while you unlocked the door. She was in before you could even fully open the door – you laughed at the familiarity of it all. Even if it was just Rocket with no sign of the other cat, you were glad to have this moment.

You gave her treats and food before bringing your soft blanket to the sofa so you could commence your favourite Saturday activity: cuddling your neighbour’s cats while watching whichever TV show called to you the most. 

It seemed that Rocket was just as glad to partake in the routine. She jumped into your lap before you could even turn the TV on, already purring and kneading the fabric. Maybe she missed you as much as you missed her.

Would her owner be mad if you stole her from him?

You shook the thought out of your head and pressed play on your show. The familiar atmosphere and routine were exactly what you needed to relax after a long week.

Then, just as you reached the halfway point of the first episode, a knock sounded on your door. You decided to ignore it at first – the show was just getting good – but then a second knock sounded, a little louder.

With a sigh, you gently lifted Rocket off you – not before she could accusingly meow at you – and headed for the door. The door opened to reveal her handsome owner.

“Hi,” he started somewhat awkwardly, lifting a hand to give you something similar to a wave, “is my cat here?”

You didn’t really want to give Rocket back, honestly. But you reminded yourself that you were a law-abiding citizen and nodded. Still – maybe you could use this situation to fix a different mistake.

“I’ll give you your cat if you give me your name,” you told him. 

His eyes widened at those words. “I– What?” He laughed in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

You nodded. “You can’t expect me to give Rocket to a stranger, can you?”

He seemed to contemplate for a moment, his brows furrowing in thought. “You… don’t know my name?” Seeing you shake your head, his frown deepened. “How? We’ve been neighbours for months.”

“I know almost everyone in this block,” you informed him, “so, it’s clearly not my fault. Maybe you’re just too introverted.”

“... Fair.” He straightened his back and turned his frown into a smile. “Hi, I’m Vernon from 6A. 

You smiled back brightly. “Hi, I’m–”

“(Y/n) from 5D, I know,” he finished for you before even realising what he said. When the realisation hit, he matched your wide eyes and began spouting apologies: “Oh, I don’t mean like I’m a stalker or anything– I just– I swear I don’t–”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his awkward ramblings. Without another word, you opened the door wider and invited him in with a small gesture of your hand. He breathed out in relief and wandered inside, almost immediately zeroing in on the black ball of fur on your sofa. 

“Rocket,” he called to her. The cat’s ear twitched but she made no move to look at him. He sighed. “Rocket!” Still nothing. He turned to you with an apologetic look. “She’s usually more cooperative.”

“I’m sure she’s just very comfy,” you told him with a chuckle. “Her belly’s full and the blanket’s soft, so she’s probably just being lazy.”

Vernon’s brows furrowed again. “You fed her?”

“I always do.” You shrugged. “It’s either that or she steals the cheese off my sandwiches. I chose the lesser evil.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement. “Clever.”

With that, he toed off his shoes and walked over to the cat, picking her up. The cat didn’t seem to like the handling much, lowly growling before settling against his chest. Vernon made a show of bouncing her before looking at you somewhat accusingly, “So that’s why she’s been getting so heavy.”

You had no excuses. 

He laughed again. “It’s fine. It’s not like I’ve been saving on treats either.” As he put on his shoes again, his cat in his arms, he told you, “I’m sorry she got out again, by the way. I thought I cat-proofed our apartment, but she’s clearly smarter than I am. I’ll try to figure something out. Sorry again, for the inconvenience.” 

Then, with a friendly “goodnight!”, Vernon was gone again, and Rocket with him. Back to lonely weekend depression you fell.

When another week passed without a cat nor a boyfriend, you reached a conclusion: it was time for a pet. 

On your day off, you walked to the pet store and headed straight for the rodent cages and fish aquariums. The small animals scurried and swam around in their enclosures, perhaps hoping you’d choose them. 

But you were hesitating. After ten minutes of just watching them, contemplating if you were more of a hamster or a rat girl, you sighed and gave up. Sure, a rodent would be a good beginner pet, but, god, you missed the cat.

With a defeated frown, you turned around to leave. Without looking at where you were going, you walked into a warm body. Stumbling back in surprise, you began rambling apologies. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” a familiar laugh sounded. You looked up from the floor to sigh in relief when you recognised Vernon. He offered a wave and a smile. “You okay? You seemed pretty deep in thought.” 

You shrugged. “Just contemplating my options, I guess.”

“Options?” Vernon wondered and adjusted the bag of cat food in his arms. He glanced at the cages behind you before understanding dawned on him. “Are you thinking of getting a hamster?”

“Or maybe a chinchilla,” you half-joked. “They seem pretty cuddly too.”

“Oh.” His smile dropped as realisation hit him hard. “You liked having Rocket visit you, didn’t you? I stole your cuddle buddy. I’m sorry.”

For someone who you had formally only known for a week, Vernon was awfully good at reading your mind. You decided to ignore the thought and nodded, trying to seem as playful as you could. “I’m a little mad at you, actually.”

“Can I…make it up to you?” he wondered after a moment, eyes sparkling. 

For a moment, you contemplated telling him a date would be a great compensation. It wouldn’t hurt to shoot your shot, right? And then you could maybe have both: a boyfriend and a cat to cure your loneliness. A double win!

But before you could find the courage to even jokingly ask your handsome neighbour out, Vernon came up with his own idea: “You know, I volunteer at a cat shelter in the city. I’m going there tomorrow, actually. Maybe you’d like to come along? Sort of like a date, if you want.” He mistook your silent processing for hesitation, short of rejection, and quickly added, “Maybe you’ll even a find yourself a cat there. Who knows? Doesn’t hurt to try, right?”

You couldn’t have said yes fast enough.

“Ta-da!” Vernon cheered somewhat monotonously as you stepped into the shelter after him. “Welcome to Kiki’s Cat House.”

As he led you further into the lobby, he continued, “I’ve been volunteering here for years. It’s like a second family, honestly.”

“So, where are all the cats?” You looked around the empty room: only a counter, some shelves, a houseplant and beanbags. 

He chuckled at your impatience before taking your hand – you tried really hard to not think about the gesture – and leading you into a hallway. There, he opened a door, revealing a room full of spacious cages. 

“This is where we keep the spicy, the grumpy, the horny and the antisocial,” he explained as you walked into the room. “They’re gonna take some socialising before we can let them hang out with the other cats, but we’re trying our best. Some of them are just plain assholes, though. This one—” he accusingly pointed at a scruffy orange one-eyed cat, “tried to take my hand off last month. I had to get stitches.”

“Sounds painful.” 

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m sure he’s had to go through a worse life than I. I forgave him this time.” 

After letting you wander and look around for a while, he nudged you. “Do you want to go see where the fun happens?”

“And by ‘fun’ you mean…?”

He chuckled, took your hand again and led you to a room across the hall. Your jaw dropped at the sheer amount of cats wandering around the cosy room. Some were napping on a sofa. Others were climbing on carefully crafted carpeted shelves on the walls. A fluffy grey cat rushed to meet the two of you – or just Vernon, most likely – and chirped cheerfully as your companion crouched down to give her endless head pats. 

“Hello there, June,” he greeted with a smile and picked up the cat, straightening back to his full height while holding her to his chest. “She’s kind of new here but she’s a cuddly one.”

When he leaned a little closer to you, you took the invitation to raise your hand and scratch under the cat’s chin. She let out a loud purr at your actions, all the while kneading the fabric of Vernon’s grey hoodie.

“Who knows,” he mumbled, “maybe you’ll want to take her home at the end of the day?”

You chuckled. “It sounds like you have an agenda.”

“Yeah – I need you to stop overfeeding my and my roommate’s cats,” he joked. “They’re chubby as it is.”

“They’re the perfect cuddle size,” you argued. 

Vernon offered you a playful glare. “Do you want to tell that to my vet the next time I’m taking them for a check-up? I got scolded last time.”

You laughed. “Alright. Fair. I’ll try to give them less treats the next time they visit. Is the white cat your roommate’s then?”

While waiting for his answer, you crouched down to offer your hand to a black-and-white cat passing by. He gave your fingers a sniff, did a little twirl before pressing his head against your palm for a moment, and then continued on his journey to the food bowls. 

Vernon watched him closely, probably already making a list of tasks to accomplish before leaving, and answered absent-mindedly, “Yeah. Snowflake. Jun got him from this shelter. I got Rocket from here too. That’s Kiki, by the way. He’s the shelter’s mascot.”

“And here I was hoping he could be the one,” you joked, already reaching out to another curious cat. 

Vernon smiled at you before placing June down onto the floor again. “I’m sure we’ll find your perfect cat. Don’t worry.” As he was crouching next to you, his eyes searched the room for familiar faces. His eyes lit up all of a sudden. “Mango!”

“Mango?” you wondered.

He nodded enthusiastically before practically crawling over to a cardboard box with a door hole on its side. Curious, you followed after him, your heart melting when you saw exactly what had caught your neighbour’s attention: a calico cat lying in the box, on a yellow fleece blanket, nursing two adorable kittens – a black one with white socks and a fluffy orange one. The mother let out a little purr when Vernon reached over to pet her head. 

“She had kittens last month,” he whispered as if to not disturb her peace. He glanced around. “I guess the other cats aren’t troubling them too much, otherwise the staff wouldn’t have let her back here.”

“They’re so tiny,” you whispered, eyes sparkling at the sight. “I didn’t realise kittens could be so small.”

“They’re already pretty big, actually,” he chuckled. “You should’ve seen them when they were born. I could’ve fit both of them in my palm.” After another minute of watching the mother and her children, Vernon nudged your side. “Come on, we have work to do. If you do your chores, maybe she’ll let you play with them.”

“Yes, dad,” you joked and joined him in the tasks. But even as you busied yourself, you couldn’t stop looking back towards the box. You had fallen in love with the sweet Mango. 

As if, once again, reading your mind, Vernon smiled at you empathetically. “If you want to adopt Mango, you’ll have to take the kittens too. Or wait a little. They should be old enough to be adopted in less than two months.”

You pouted; you weren’t sure you could handle three cats. For the rest of the little date, even Vernon’s blatant flirting and adorable smiles couldn’t cheer you up and bring you out of your thoughts. And so, you left the shelter with a regretful heart. 

“You know,” Vernon tried to cheer you up on the way back, “if you want, you can adopt all three of them. Kittens aren’t too difficult to raise. She’ll do most of the work.”

“But I don’t know if I’m ready for that responsibility,” you whispered dejectedly as you slumped into the seat of the bus. “Three cats is a lot more than one.”

“Well,” he sighed softly and reached over to hold your hand, “if you change your mind, I’d be happy to help you bring them home.”

Little did he know the feeling of his hand in yours, fingers interlocked, his thumb caressing the back of your hand, was enough to distract you from your thoughts. 

The gnawing regret in your heart did not go away until Wonwoo and Eunmi drove you to the shelter three days later. The engaged couple was more than enthusiastic to help you bring Mango and her kittens home.

You had planned on calling Vernon and inviting him along too, but in the excitement of this new step, you completely forgot. Instead of him, you had turned to Wonwoo, Eunmi and Jihoon (the grumpy guy from 1B) who had all pitched in to help you get your apartment cat-ready. It was the three of them that had encouraged you to take this step anyway – it was only fair that they help.

And now, on this Saturday evening, you could cuddle with your very own cat as a drama played on the TV. You couldn’t stop smiling at the fact that she already trusted you enough to snuggle with you under the blanket, hidden from view, and let her kittens wander around your bedroom without supervision. Who knows, you thought, maybe she’s trying to rest from the responsibilities of motherhood. You couldn’t blame her.

Then, like déjà-vu, a knock sounded on your front door in the midway point of the first episode. Unwilling to leave your comfortable spot, you tried to ignore it. A second knock sounded louder, this time followed by Vernon’s voice, “Hey, can I come in?”

You sighed and called out, “The door’s unlocked.”

“Is it?” he wondered and tried the knob. To his surprise, the door opened immediately. He frowned. “Dude, I don’t think that’s safe. Do you always leave your door unlocked like this?”

He closed the door behind himself and walked into the apartment, keeping his eyes down. 

You chuckled. “No, do you think I’m stupid? Wonwoo and Eunmi only left a little while ago – I didn’t get around to locking the door after them. Was a little preoccupied.”

He hummed, still not looking at you as he untied his shoes. 

“So,” your eyes narrowed at him, “what brings you to my humble abode?”

“Uh,” he sighed deeply and looked up, “I came to tell you something. I… I got a call from the shelter. They said that…” His frown deepened at the way your eyes sparkled with what he assumed must have been hope. “They said that Mango and her kittens got adopted today. I’m sorry," he breathed out, eyes sad as he cautiously watched you, as if afraid of your reaction. When you only shrugged and nodded, his brows furrowed even more. “Aren’t you upset? I thought you wanted to adopt her yourself…”

It was only then that you realised you had, in fact, forgotten to call him and tell him your plan. He must have thought you'd be heartbroken at the news. Maybe he had even asked the people at the shelter to keep Mango for you. Suddenly, your heart ached at the sight of his sorrowful expression. “Vernon…”

“It’s okay, though,” he quickly interrupted. “We can always go and see if you like any of the other cats." You couldn't find the words to say and once again he took your silence for sadness and rushed to comfort you. "Actually, there’s this girl called Citrus. I’m sure you would like her too. We could go see her tomorrow, if you wanted.” You remained silent, trying to figure out if you wanted to laugh or cry at his thoughtfulness. “(Y/n)?”

You couldn’t take it any more. Instead of saying anything, you gestured for him to come over to you on the sofa. Obediently, he followed your orders and approached you, sitting down next to you. 

Once he was seated, you took his hand and led it over to where your cat was snuggled into your stomach under the yellow blanket. Vernon’s brows shot up in surprise.

“Is Rocket here again? I swear she was at home…”

You laughed and rolled down the blanket to reveal two pointy ears, one grey and one orange. His jaw dropped as he reached over to pet her head. Eyes shining, he asked, “You got a cat?”

“Not just any cat,” you told him in a conspiratorial whisper and rolled the blanket down even further until he recognised her calico pattern. 

He gasped. “Mango!”

You giggled at his reaction and the way he immediately leaned down to coo at her, her purrs getting louder by the second. 

“So,” he realised, smiling brightly, “it was you who adopted her!”

You nodded proudly and gave her a little scratch on the back. “I couldn’t stand the thought of just leaving her there. So, Wonwoo drove me to the shelter and we brought her to her new home. She seems pretty happy to be here.”

“She’s already cuddling with you,” he mused. “It took me weeks to get Rocket to even let me pet her.”

“Maybe she was waiting for me,” you whispered, happy at the thought. 

“And the kittens?” he suddenly wondered, sitting up straight. You pointed to your bedroom door. 

“Jihoon and I spent the entire morning kitten-proofing my room so we could let them loose there. But I’m sure they’ve gotten to some trouble already.”

Vernon frowned, seeming almost offended. “You called Jihoon but not me?”

“I was going to call you,” you swore, “but it’s been an exciting day so I just–”

“Have you named the kittens yet?” he changed the subject suddenly, as if the previous topic bothered him too much to even consider talking about it. “I don’t think the shelter staff gave them names yet.”

You smiled. “Well, the black one is called Socks.”

“... Because of his white socks?”

“Obviously,” you nodded. “And the ginger one's called Peaches – I guess Jihoon wanted to keep her name on theme.”

“Jihoon named her?” Vernon seemed surprised before nodding. “They’re both very cute names.”

“You can go and play with them, if you want,” you offered with a smile, hoping to cheer him up because he still seemed a little out of it. “Or you can bring them here for a cuddle. I don’t mind.”

“Nah,” he sighed and reached over to pet Mango again, “I’m sure they’re sleeping already. Wouldn’t want to bother them.”

Your lips pouted at his dejected tone. “Do you… want to watch a movie with me? We can cuddle Mango together.”

He lips curled into a half-smile at the idea. “I’d love that.”

“Great,” you cheered, “you can pick the movie.”

(And perhaps he wasn’t as good at picking out movies as he would’ve liked to think: you were leaning against his shoulder in a sleepy haze half-way through the movie. 

Still, he couldn’t be mad at you – not when he’d been waiting for a moment like this ever since he saw you step into the building on a Monday ten months ago. He’d been smitten ever since he saw your smile for the first time – even if the smile had been directed at Jihoon giving you the apartment key instead of him hiding behind Mingyu in the hallway.

Even though he’d wanted to watch this movie for weeks, he couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering over to you instead: resting against his side, curled up in your blanket with Mango spread over your lap, a dazed smile on your face as you stared at the screen.

Feeling his gaze on you, you twisted your neck to look up at him from your position that made you seem impossibly smaller than him – even if your height difference was minimal to none in reality. Your smile never faded as you looked at him expectantly, waiting to hear what he had to say.

Your new position had your nose brush against his ever so slightly, but it didn’t seem to affect you as much as it did him – at least not in your sleepy daze. He wasn’t sure how you could look so peacefully cheerful while he worried his heart might break out of his rib cage at your proximity.

His eyes flitted between your eyes and your lips; he was hesitating. Just one lean and he could cross another dream off his list. Less than an inch. 

He gulped and tore his gaze away, forcing it to focus back on the screen. You soon settled back into your previous position, your head on his shoulder, cheek pressed against his collarbone. He closed his eyes and willed his heart to slow down before it betrayed him.)

Your blissfully calm day was once again interrupted by a knock on the door. You sighed and made your way to the source of the sound. 

“Coming, coming,” you called out to the person on the other side. When you unlocked the door and finally saw him, you couldn’t help but smile. “Why is it always you?”

Vernon could only offer a shrug and a hopeless smile. “You don’t seem too bothered by it though.”

“Don’t tell Rocket, but,” you leaned in closer to whisper, “you’re my favourite visitor.”

He grinned wider at that, his ears taking on a red shade, before he cleared his throat. “Um, so, speaking of Rocket…”

He didn’t need to speak another word because you knew exactly where this was going. You sighed. “Did she get out again?” He nodded. “Do you need help finding her?”

“No, I just assumed she’d be here,” he answered, smile dropping into a worried frown. “She isn’t?”

“I definitely haven’t seen her today.”

“Can you check?” he asked, looking nervous all of a sudden. Sensing your confusion, he quickly added, “Just in case? She’s good at hiding so maybe she’s snuck past you or something.”

You agreed and let him inside – if nothing else, it was at least an excuse to spend time with him. He only made it barely halfway through your apartment before letting out an excited cheer: “There you are!”

You blinked in surprise. “Found her?”

“Found her and you’re gonna want to see this,” he called back before just about running (or, really, speed walking) over to you. 

As you watched him with wide eyes, he took your hand and practically dragged you over to your bedroom. And there, low and behold, cosily snuggled up on the bed with your own cats was Rocket. 

You sighed and offered Vernon a half-accusatory glare. “Is she your cat or mine?”

He shrugged. “I’d like to think she’s mine but– Aw, she’s cleaning the kittens!”

You watched the four cats snuggle even closer together, like a little family: the adults cleaning the kittens who let out accusatory meows and happy purrs. It made you almost jealous in a way. 

“How did she even get in?” you wondered to distract yourself from the fact that you were clearly severely touch-starved.

“How did she get out?” Vernon mumbled in similar disbelief before sighing. His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Now I feel bad about bringing her home.”

You nodded. “They’re getting along so well. It’s weird, almost.”

“Yeah,” his brows furrowed in thought, “I thought they’d for sure get in a fight the first time they met. Are you sure this is her first time here since Mango came?”

“If it isn’t, I certainly was not aware of the other times.”

Vernon breathed out a little huff before nudging you. “Have you eaten dinner yet?”

“No, why?”

A shy smile appeared. “We could eat together. I mean, Rocket doesn’t seem to have any plans for leaving, and I’m not leaving without her, so…”

“Well, if Mingyu’s words are anything to go by, I am not letting you into my kitchen,” you declared with a chuckle as his face morphed into a grimace of offended disbelief. “I’m serious. I heard you almost burnt down his apartment once.”

“In my defence–!” he loudly started before sighing and nodding. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”

You laughed and nudged his side. “Come on, you can help me make cookies.”

Dumbfounded, he raised a brow. “I thought I wasn’t allowed in your kitchen.”

“Consider it a trial period. Besides, it’s not like you have anything better to do right now.” 

(He didn’t have the heart to tell you he had a whole report due by the next day that he hadn’t even started yet. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make if it meant more time with you.)

[hey, do u have a cat tree yet?]

[this is vernon btw]

[i’ll take ur silence as a no]

You didn’t get around to answering his messages before he appeared at your door once again, this time carrying a giant IKEA bag on his shoulder. His trusty (but clearly not very loyal) companion Rocket stood at his feet also and greeted you with a meow, which Vernon was quick to mimic with a smile.

“Hello, you two,” you greeted with a laugh. “What’s with the IKEA bag?”

“Child support,” he told you simply and walked inside like he owned the place. He placed the giant bag in your kitchen and turned to smile at you brightly, proud of his work. When you only offered him a quizzical smile, he explained, “Food. A lot of cat food.”

You continued staring at him, absolutely confused. “But they’re not your kittens?”

He gestured towards Rocket who had jumped onto one of the kitchen chairs, patiently waiting for her treats. “Well, she seems to disagree, so here: at least a month’s worth of cat food.”

“I’m guessing you don’t accept returns?” He shook his head no. “Money?” He shook his head again, more aggressively, and you sighed. “Thank you, then. I’ll be sure to put the food to good use.”

“Good, because I’d honestly be a little upset if you didn’t,” he confessed before walking back out of your apartment, leaving the door open. 

You looked after him in wonder before turning to Rocket. “Should I be worried?”

Before the cat could give you a conclusive answer aside from a tired blink, you heard a grunt in your hallway. 

When you went to look, you found Vernon carrying an enormous cardboard box your way. He placed it down with a tired gasp and gave it an affectionate pat. “Your cat tree, Your Highness.”

“You–” Your jaw dropped. Not a single thought in sight; only a laugh of disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” He smirked. “You didn’t get my messages?”

“Oh, I got your messages,” you argued, “but I didn’t think you meant this. Where did you even get this thing? It looks like it’s going to be huge.”

He shrugged. “I have a friend.”

“A friend who gives out free giant cat trees?” you wondered. 

He nodded somewhat hesitantly, his eyes narrowed in thought. “He does that sometimes, yeah. So,” he gave the box another pat, “shall we assemble it?”

“You’re going to be the death of me,” you mumbled and opened the box, already eyeing the pieces of furniture in horror. “Please tell me you’ll help put this together?”

He scoffed. “You don’t trust me in the kitchen and I don’t trust you with a screwdriver. So, yeah, I’m gonna stick around and build this for you.”

Just ten minutes later, all of the pieces of the cat tree were out of the box and waiting on your floor. The box itself had already been turned onto its side and occupied by a quartet of fluffy cats, only their eyes shining out of the darkness as they scrutinised Vernon slowly assembling their new home. 

“So,” you started, while (much like your cats) watching him in fascination, “what’s the real reason?”

He glanced up, eyes wide. “For what?”

You gestured vaguely.

“I’m just trying to be nice,” he shrugged and turned back to his task. 

“No one’s just this nice.”

“Maybe I am,” he mumbled.

“Vernon,” you tried again, reaching over to place your hand on his own, effectively pausing his movements, “why did you get me a cat tree? There’s no way you got this giant thing for free either, so the least you could do is at least tell me the truth.”

"I just–" Shoulders slumping, he took a deep breath before confessing, “Hearing you talk about how Wonwoo and Jihoon helped you bring the cats home and kitten-proof the bedroom and how they named the kittens– I just want to help too.” He frowned and sighed. “I just want you to be able to gush about me the way you talked about Wonwoo and Jihoon. Is that weird?” He grimaced before you could say anything. “Yeah, it’s weird. Very weird. But… I don’t know. That’s just how I feel.”

He forced a smile onto his face and finally looked you in the eyes. “Let me put it this way: I want to be an active part of your life and of this journey of yours. So, please, just… Just let me do this.”

Without another word, he turned back to his project. As if he hadn’t just spoken words that would leave you speechless for hours. But despite not finding anything to say to him, a squeeze to his hand still resting under yours had to be enough until you could give him the world. 

Just like you, he barely said another word until he left the apartment, leaving behind a finished black cat tree. You wouldn’t hear from him again for days.

Vernon knew alcohol didn’t fix problems: it didn’t make anything disappear, it didn’t make anyone less upset, and it certainly wouldn’t magically give him the confidence to confess. But that knowledge didn’t stop him from going over to Chan’s apartment for a Friday night drink after three days of acting like you didn’t exist. 

It’s not like he wanted to ignore you – really, he wanted to do anything but that. He watched enviously as Rocket slipped out of the door and down the stairs, headed straight for your apartment. He watched from afar as the black cat scratched at your door and meowed insistently before you opened the door and happily greeted her. He watched as you glanced around after, as if hoping to get a glance at him who had hidden behind the corner, afraid that he’d say something stupid if your eyes did meet. 

He tried to tell himself that perhaps the silence that had followed his kind-of-sort-of confession three days ago hadn’t been one of disgust but rather of endearment. He didn’t dare to hope though. It was easier to just act like none of it happened. 

After all, how embarrassing is it to buy a girl a cat tree and assemble it out of jealousy for your neighbours? 

So, he drank. Shot after shot. Enough so that Chan and Seungkwan worriedly wrapped him in his jacket and gently led him back up the stairs. He vaguely remembered the latter sweetly reminding him that his apartment is on the 6th floor; not that he’d ever make it there.

Instead, to his own surprise (and the chagrin of his formerly sober self), he found himself standing in front of the door of 5D. 

Without even acknowledging his actions, he raised his hand to knock on the door. Following a rhythm like always – just so you’d know it was him and not a stranger – he kept knocking until he heard your footsteps on the other side of the wall. 

You opened the door and he blinked. Why was he here again?

“Vern?” you wondered, yawning. You glanced back at the clock on your living room wall before turning to him. “It’s like 2 am. What’s up?”

He wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying. His eyes were fully focused on your lips, so pouty and so, so soft. He suddenly remembered what had brought him to your door.

Growing worried as his silence, you waved a hand in front of his eyes to catch his attention. “Hey, did something hap–?”

Before you could finish your sentence, he leaned forward. Perhaps alcohol had, in fact, given him the courage he needed because he didn’t hesitate this time. He just leaned forward. It was so easy: one arm wrapping around your waist to pull you closer, the other lifting to hold your cheek as he pressed his lips against yours just like he’d imagined for so many weeks now. 

It was as if the touch of your lips alone sobered him up and he leaned back almost immediately, eyes wide in panic. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”

But you weren’t mad – a little annoyed, perhaps, but mad at him? You didn’t have it in you to do that. You only laughed a little as he rambled apologies, his hands still in position because he wasn’t yet sober enough to realise, and then you took the leap. 

You lifted a hand to grab the material of his shirt just below the collar and pulled him back towards you, all the way until his lips were against yours again. He melted into your affection, only pulling you closer as each second passed, unwilling to let this moment end.

When you finally pulled back, he was wearing a dopey smile, his half-lidded eyes sparkling with joy. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Mad at you?” you wondered and scoffed out a laugh. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I’m a dumb jealous–” He cut himself off mid-sentence, his eyes narrowing as something behind you caught his attention. “Is that Rocket?”

You followed his line of sight before humming in confirmation. “Yeah, I thought you let her out in the evening.”

“I never–” he began to argue before pausing. “Oh, I did. I did let her out. I watched you let her in. Oh.”

You stared at him. “On a scale from one to ten, how drunk are you right now?”

He frowned before whining. “I’m not drunk!”

“Vernon,” you said sternly, watching him in amusement as his frown softened into a tired pout and he nodded before confessing that he’d probably had a shot or two too many. You chuckled. “Do you want to stay over?

“I don’t want to intrude…”

“You woke me up at 2 am to kiss me dumb,” you reminded him, “I think we’re past the whole intruding debate. So, yes or no?”

He didn’t say another word, instead opting to lean closer to rest his head against your shoulder and hold you tight. You took that as the answer and led him inside.

For the first time in heavens-know-how-long, it’s the smell of waffles that wakes him up instead of Junhui’s shower singing. To his mild confusion, Vernon realises he’s woken up in your bed. Then, after a quick attempt of taming his bed hair, he stumbles out of your bedroom and over to the kitchen.

“Welcome back to life, Sunshine,” you joked at the sight of him as he slumped in your kitchen chair. The clock on the wall read 1:25 pm.

“Did I–” He frowned in confusion. “Did I sleep over?”

“You also got drunk, woke me up at 2 am, and kissed me,” you informed him with a teasing smile. His face flushed red immediately and he let out a whine before hiding his face in his hands. 

It was a whole minute later that he dared to finally look at you again. “I’m sorry… Do you hate me?”

“Nope,” you said and placed a plate full of waffles in front of him before placing your finger under his chin and tilting it to affectionately kiss his lips. His eyes fluttered closed at the contact and  memories of the previous night flooded his brain: the shared kisses, the hushed promises of real confessions, cuddles in your bed with Rocket and Mango trying to separate the two of you in a selfish pursuit of extra warmth.

When he opened his eyes again, stars seemed to be swimming in them as you confessed, “I quite like you actually.”

“I… I like you too,” he whispered back a fondly kept secret. “I’ve liked you since you first moved in – when you smiled at me because I helped Joshua carry your sofa up.”

It was your turn to feel a flustered burn on your cheeks. 

The two of you spoke no more, basking in the blissful moment of acknowledgement, trying to wrap your heads around the implications of it all as you ate brunch together, side by side. 

Rocket soon joined the two of you, yawning as she jumped onto her owner’s lap before looking at you with a look you knew all too well. You scoffed out a laugh and got up to fill her bowl. “I swear she’s going to eat me poor.”

Vernon chuckled. “You know, I think she’s here more than at home these days.” He smiled fondly at the sight of you petting Rocket’s head. When you finally joined him at the table again, he added, “ It’s like she’s decided she’s yours now.”

You saw the opportunity and took it. “You could be mine too.”

He could only smile and hide his burning cheeks. A laugh bubbled in his chest and before long he burst into joyous giggles: “This is the best morning of my entire life.”

“So, is that a no?” you teased, leaning closer to him. Tempting him.

Vernon was done hesitating. “I’d love to be yours.”

BONUS!

“I’m going to miss them so much,” you whispered, holding Peaches to your chest protectively. The orange kitten, like her brother, had grown big enough to go to a new home. 

Vernon could only sigh as he watched you cuddle the kittens. “Baby, you will still have Mango.” An accusatory meow sounded from his side. He quickly added, “And Rocket is here too!”

“But the kittens won’t be,” you whined and pouted at him as if he was the person you’d have to convince to keep them. “It’s not the same.”

Vernon fought the urge to roll his eyes. “They’re going to be living in the same building as us, baby. You can visit them whenever you want.”

“No offence but I’m not climbing all the way to the 6th floor to see Socks,” you argued with a scoff. “I’m not even doing that for you.”

Vernon felt a little flattered at the implication that he was still more important to you than Socks.

“Maybe if you ask Wonwoo and Eunmi nice enough, they’ll bring Socks over for a play date every once in a while.”

But it was as if you hadn't heard him. “And the first floor is so far away too…”

“You can drop by Jihoon’s place any time you come home from work,” Vernon reminded you. “Please. Come on.”

“But��”

“Baby,” he spoke sternly, resting a hand on your shoulder to keep you grounded, “the kittens are going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. Mango’s going to be very happy to be freed from the shackles of motherhood – I mean, she’s been practically avoiding them all week.”

“But I’m going to miss them,” you whispered, “and the apartment’s going to feel so empty without them.”

“Well, you still have me and Rocket,” he tried to comfort you.

You frowned. “Yeah, but it’s not the same. You only visit.”

“I could… move in… with you and Rocket,” he suggested after a pause of thought. “I mean, we’re here almost all the time anyways.”

Vernon swore his knees felt weak all of a sudden when you looked up at him with sparkling eyes. “You’d do that?”

“Is that a serious question?” he joked and patted your head. “Your apartment’s, like, way better than mine. I’d be dumb not to.”

“Oh.” You seemed dejected, on purpose – not that he’d know that. 

Eyes widening, he panicked. “I didn’t mean it like that! That was a joke! It was a joke and a very bad joke at that. I just meant that I– Why are you laughing?” He frowned before whining. “Don’t laugh at me!”

[butch-reidentified]

DNI if you believe "everyone has a price." you're pathetic & I don't trust your morals.

Skip to bottom for About Me section.

Preface: Most of this blog is not dedicated to trans-related topics. However, seeing as I get nonstop harassment regarding trans matters, almost always from people assuming my views, experiences, and thoughts entirely incorrectly, a disproportionate number of the links in this Pinned will be aimed at this subject in order to provide legitimate insight as to my views, my feminism, and my experiences - both with my transition & the trans community in general. Chances are, you are very wrong about me in all those areas. Only one way to find out 😉

1. What is a woman?

Deep dive into my perspective on gender identity ideology (GII) & my response to an anon regarding "autogynephilia" [this includes the article above]

Argument for Using "Cis-Identifying"

Pitch: New Terminology to Replace "[Biological] Sex"

And related: A conversation with a "NERF" about radical feminism, gender identity ideology, and what we/I actually believe.

2. Inform yourself on some of the work I've done for trans people before you continue the trend of cowardly hypocrisy.

No, I obviously don't hate trans people, and if you believe that, you have a black-and-white way of looking at things. Trans people deserve safety and equality; this must not come at the expense of women/girls, homosexual people, people with DSDs, or any other marginalized and vulnerable group. If you think these opinions cannot coexist, maybe ask yourself why. If you think they can coexist, why do you have a problem with me?

3. My primary thread responding to the way much of the tumblr trans community handled my sharing my story of surviving the 2016 Pulse Nightclub shooting (often by stealing my lived trauma and removing my url) is easily one of the most - if not the most - important posts pertaining to trans discourse I've made to date. And a bonus: This lovely ask.

4. Hope for Women (this is a very new project, WIP)

5. Comparative Analysis of Cult-like Patterns in Gender Identity Ideology, Radfeminism

Another post (not mine) listing indicators something may be a cult

6. Response to an anon asking why radfems team up with conservatives (spoiler: we don't), including THE QUESTION I have about gender identity ideology that would make me change my views completely if answered; response to a similar anon simplifying the differences between TRA, radfem, & conservative views on gender.

About Me:

I am a butch lesbian, married to a badass gnc (but not butch) radfem lesbian goddess whose misandry surpasses even my own; she does have tumblr but rarely uses it - @psychichologramnightmare is hers. I'm 28/Taurus/May baby, though I'll be real, I've never liked astrology and found my birth chart n whatnot always laughably wildly inaccurate to me (sorry astrology girlies). Former competitive rock climber, still in love with hiking and climbing. Wilderness survivalist. Trained & armed woman, advocate for female-only firearm ownership.

My wife and I run our own business, and bought our first home together at 24 & 25 respectively - it's a lovely 4/3 on a quarter acre where we have 5 mango trees and more, plan to start growing our own food and herbs, foster kittens, and provide free housing (and more) regularly for those in need. We do a LOT of IRL feminist action/work/organizing. I post about some of that work pretty often, but I couldn't possibly post about all of it (even if it were safe to do so). I am basically organizing (mostly offline, but some online as well) full-time now.

Survivor of abuse, CSA + captivity, trafficking in my teens where I was forced into porn as a minor, the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando 2016, and more. I am no longer affected by any of these in any negative psychological manner. I own my past, every moment of it, and wouldn't change a thing I've experienced. What I often tell people is, "I'm not glad it happened; I'm glad I was there."

I practice "witchcraft" (kind of...) as a form of artistic expression. I don't subscribe to any literal metaphysical/supernatural/whatever set of beliefs or narrative, and have had a lifelong inability to believe in such things, but I am passionate about lesbian-centered/lesbian-exclusive (esp butch & gnc lesbian) witchcraft. I am also using this practice in part to connect further with my ancestors and their culture & way of life, but this would take a full essay to elaborate on/explain.

I got my Bachelor's in Neuroscience/Neuropsych, used to work in a top neuro research lab, and have been a coauthor on a peer-reviewed scientific journal publication. I wrote my undergraduate thesis on POTS, ADHD, some of the relevant epigenetics, and norepinephrine dysregulation. I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos & POTS in 2015, before pretty much anyone had heard of them (including most doctors). My POTS is very well-managed now, but chronic pain from EDS is more of a struggle. I recently went for testing for EDS subtype and was diagnosed with Type IV/vascular-type EDS (VEDS).

Adoptee with complex history. Working through a lot of feelings surrounding my ancestry - one birth parent was white, other was almost entirely indigenous Mexican (Nahua), and I have like zero personality traits in common with the former but have only been able to meet them irl not the other side - and the fact that my adoptive family (white) has not always handled things well in raising adopted kids. I only learned my full biological family history as an adult and was lied to by them about it my whole life. Which, looking back it feels like I always knew on some level, as adoptees often seem to, and it puts a lot of my childhood difficulties etc in context. Adoption-critical but not abolitionist - I plan to adopt with my wife in a couple years. I've talked a fair bit about my experiences, adoption trauma, ethical adoption, and more. Check out my tags such as #ethical adoption, #adopted, #adoptee, and so forth (tagged on this post for easy accessibility).

I spent many years surrounded by majority-trans-identifying friends/acquaintances both irl and online, deeply involved in trans spaces & activism, and even identified for a bit & was on T for a while. I am not "uneducated" or unfamiliar with trans-identifying people, their experiences, or gender identity ideology in general. You, like me back then, very probably have been lied to about radfems ("terfs") and what we believe and fight for. I am happy to talk in good faith (provided you do the same) 1 on 1 with anyone who is curious about what we actually believe and what we stand for, what common radfem takes on gender identity ideology & trans identity actually are and why.

I have a history of purely physical sex dysphoria (physical sensation like pain or itching). I got "top surgery" (elective mastectomy) due to this and other reasons: constant painful breast cysts & very large breasts (DDD even when I weighed under 100 lbs). I was not trans-identifying by the time I got this surgery (though I tried to briefly identify as nb/transmasc just bc I felt obligated, but hated it). I have never wanted to be a man socially and genuinely hated the very thought. I came out the womb feminist, got in trouble throughout primary school for fighting boys who tried to pull sexist bullshit, always lowkey believed in female superiority (I mean just look at our biology, lifespans, pain tolerance, the things we've done throughout history despite violent patriarchal oppression...). I spent years preparing myself. I read from & spoke to women who regretted this surgery, challenged myself at every turn, dove deep into my mind and thought processes, tried alternative treatment attempts, worked with a non-affirming therapist, made sure my past traumas were fully healed, and waited until I was in my mid-twenties so my brain was more or less fully matured. I have no regrets about it. I still have some (still purely physical sensation) dysphoria ("phantom male genitals" type of thing) at times, but have come to manage this very well. More on this here.

Formally assessed psychopath & participant in research by leading psychopathy experts (read on before jumping to conclusions). Check out this post and my #psychopathy tag (tagged on this post for easy accessibility) for info, particularly about high-EQ female psychopathy, & to find out everything you think you know about us is wrong 💕 (what you know about male psychopaths is usually right tho 💀)

Note: When it comes to politics, I strive to discuss exclusively that about which I am *uniquely knowledgeable* - by which I mean, essentially, that I (believe I) have something to contribute that is unlikely to be found on every other blog. I do not and will not make posts or reblog posts about topics I do not feel this way about. You are not entitled to know my views on every hot-button issue, and I have no intention of speaking on that which I know little about, or that I don't know enough about (through study or personal experiences) to contribute something you can't get a thousand other places.

Tag Guide (WIP):

#mine -> original posts, including ask responses

#ask -> ask responses only

#anon hate, #anon love -> should be self-explanatory. anon love does include some non-anon love for simplicity.

#catposting, #dogposting, #petposting -> images of cats, dogs, and both, respectively (not always my own)

#Wilder wives -> posts pertaining to me & my wife (last name Wilder)

#mvawg, #mvaw, #male violence -> male violence against women/girls

#ethical adoption -> my takes as an adoptee on the issues within the adoption industry & how adoption can be done ethically

#nahua, #nahuatl, #mexica -> ranges from personal journal style posts about my process of reconnecting with the Nahua community to sharing facts about the language (Nahuatl, pronounce it Nawat) and stories from Mexica mythology etc. posts I make specifically as part of the facts-and-stories series are tagged #indigenous reconstructionism.

#what we believe -> fairly new tag for posts trying to educate on what radfeminism is actually about/damage control for disinformation & misinformation about it

#trans violence -> violence committed by trans-identifying people, including threats of and graphic violent fantasies (primarily misogynistic ones)

#trans misogyny, #trans lesbophobia, #woke misogyny, #woke homophobia, #woke lesbophobia, etc. -> what it says on the tin

[thebetterdevil0]

When Angels Cry

3,000 words. A short story about a Blood Angel, and his brother who has fallen to the Black Rage.

My first time writing something like this. Please enjoy.

=================

Sergeant Marneo was well built, even for a Primaris Marine. The Blood Angel was already a tall boy before the surgeries, and he emerged from them even taller. His brother Hadrian had joked with him that the apothecaries had switched Sanguinius’s gene seed for Vulkan’s during his surgeries. He was less than receptive to these jests. As Hadrian placed his hand on the console to open the door, he remembered those joking moments fondly.

Whatever jokes Hadrian may have made before, they were quickly put to bed by the sight that lay before him. His former Sergeant was chained to a wall at the far end of the room. Needles and tubes filled with various fluids and pharmaceuticals probed his skin in numerous places along his chest, upper arms, and thighs. Marneo appeared to be in a state of delirium, but the burning black eyes that stared at Hadrian betrayed that conception. What stared at Hadrian were not the eyes of some washed out drunkard, or half asleep vagrant, but the eyes of a killer overcome by rage.

As the door closed behind him, Hadrian slowly removed his helmet, and mag locked it to his side. The sound of the armor clicking into place caused Marneo to stir. His head rolled upwards, and his eyes narrowed at Hadrian. He said but one word, filled with malice and hatred. “Brother.”

Hadrian felt his hearts sink upon hearing the hatred in the word. “Hello Brother. How are you feeling today?”

Marneo lurched forward from the wall in an attempt to claw at Hadrian. He was held back by the chains and various needles holding him back. “Why do you care Traitor? Why do you continue to torment me with these visits?”

Marneo seemed to relax in the chains, but the black orbs of hate in his skull remained fixed on Hadrian. Hadrian reached into his back pocket and produced a small, orange fruit. “I brought you something brother. Mangoes. From our home world. Chauntea. Do you remember it brother?”

The scent of the fruit worked it’s way into the air toward Marneo. The scent only seemed to enrage him. “I remember we ate these together before you betrayed our father. Before you led your Black Legion against him.”

Hadrian was disappointed by this response, but he remained determined to get through to him. “Would you like a mango brother? It will help you feel like yourself again.”

Marneo’s face tightened. “Is it poisoned? I would expect nothing less of you traitor. Now I ask again, why are you here?”

Hadrian’s hearts sank further. Still he refused to accept the truth. “I’m here to bring you good news brother. I’ve been promoted. I have your job now brother.”

Hadrian tried to force a smile onto his face. Marneo thrashed angrily in his chains in response. “TRAITOR! YOU DON’T DESERVE THE GROUND YOU STAND ON HORUS! NOW GET OVER HERE AND FACE ME!”

The stone door opened again. The figure of a Blood Angels Chaplain stood in the doorway. The Chaplain called forward for Hadrian. “He is gone brother Hadrian. He belongs to the Death Company now.”

Sergeant Hadrian hung his head low in defeat. He put the mango back in his satchel and turned to leave. Marneo’s continued thrashing and screaming echoed through the room as the door closed once more. Outside, the Chaplain pressed a button on the door console. A warning klaxon sounded inside the cell, followed by a rush of pharmaceuticals flooding into Marneo’s body. The anger drained from his eyes as the drugs worked their way through him. He slumped back against the wall, propped up by his bindings as he entered a deep sleep. “Brother… why…”

=================

Lieutenant Hadrian Antinous of Wyvern Squad entered his brothers cell once again. It had been many years since he had seen his brother Marneo, and he was eager to deliver the good news to him. A small part of him hoped that Marneo would have come to his senses by now, that he would take Hadrian in his arms and cry out in joy at his brothers success. The rest of him knew this to be a farce.

Marneo was chained to the wall, in the exact way he had been when Hadrian left him. Marneo was fully awake upon entry this time. He made no effort to acknowledge Hadrian's presence. Just like before, Hadrian removed his helmet and hung it at his side. A faint smile adorned his lips as he spoke to his brother. “Brother Marneo, it is good to speak with you again.”

Marneo looked up at him, but made no effort to speak. Hadrian continued. “I’m a lieutenant now brother. We fought a mighty battle against the Orks on Madrigal. We killed so many my armor was green rather than red when we were finished!”

Hadrian forced a short laugh, hoping for his brother to respond. A glance. A movement. A word. Anything. His apparent lack of aggression gave Hadrian hope. Hope that maybe the Rage had left his brother. Maybe he had been cured. Maybe he had been saved. Maybe the Sanguinor-

“SHUT UP TRAITOR!”

Marneo lunged at Hadrian from his position on the floor. Once more, the chains and needles kept him from attacking his brother. In the rattling of chains and the screams of his brother, Hadrian heard the sound of his hope shattering. He watched on in despair as his brother continued screaming at him. “YOU BETRAYED ME! YOU BETRAYED OUR FATHER! YOU BETRAYED THE IMPERIUM! WHY HORUS? WHY?”

Hadrian hung his head low. He removed his helmet from it’s mag lock at his side, and placed it on his head. His HUD blinked back to life, displaying readouts of Marneo’s physical condition. Several warning klaxons blared at him pointing to elevated hormone levels in line with the Black Rage. He felt a tear well up in his eye as he turned to leave. Marneo called out after him. “YOU SCORN ME HORUS! GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT!”

Hadrian wheeled around, his hearts pounded in his chest, anger flowed in his veins, the Thirst flared in his mind as he spoke. “I AM NOT HORUS, BROTHER! I AM HADRIAN! I AM YOUR BROTHER! YOUR… friend…”

He took a deep breath to pull his emotions back under control. He felt his Angel’s Teeth had been stirred from his gums, and he forced them to retract. “Goodbye brother.”

He knocked on the stone door three times. The door grinded open slowly. He turned to look at his brother one last time before leaving. Marneo continued screaming after him, until the warning klaxons in the cell blared again, and once more he was sedated.

===============

Captain Hadrian Antinous of the Blood Angels Third Company was a sight to behold. His armor gleamed from a fresh coat of polish put on by his serfs, while numerous trophies and embellishments decorated his Gravis pattern Primaris armor. His helmet kept his face hidden as he stomped through the deck of the ship. Chaplain Relus followed him closely, listening to every word he spoke. “I want them ready to move by the end of the next planetary rotation.”

Relus stroked the head of his crozius staff and nodded. “Will you speak to… him, before deployment brother Captain?”

Hadrian froze. He hadn’t even considered that. He had been too wrapped up in the battle preparations to remember. “I-”

He felt a tear welling in his eye. He took a breath and tried to force it down. Relus looked at him quizzically.

“Brother Captain?”

“Yes. Yes brother Chaplain. I will speak with him.

Relus had his own reservations about his Captain’s decision, but the sound of thundering guns outside reminded him there were more pressing problems at hand. “Very well. I will leave you undisturbed.”

Hadrian continued down the hall to the cell of his former sergeant. The Death Company had already been deployed three times before Hadrian had been made a Captain, and each time Marneo had survived mostly unscathed. Protocol would have dictated his immediate execution, but Chaplain Relus felt he could still be of use to the Emperor, and so he was allowed to live. As Hadrian approached the cell, he had a feeling in his gut that this would be Marneo’s final stand. As he punched the authorization codes into the door console, memories replayed in his mind of their time together. Joyfully stealing mangos from their neighbor on Chauntea, playing various games together with their other brothers in training, fighting together on Talos III where Marneo was lost to the Rage…

Hadrian blinked that last memory away as soon as it appeared. In time for the stone door to grind open once more, for what Hadrian hoped would be the third and final time. He stepped into the room, leaving the door open behind him. He did not intend to stay long this time.

Marneo again, was already awake. This time instead of being chained to the wall nude, he was fully armored in the black battleplate of the Death Company. He lunged for Hadrian the moment he entered the room. The eve of battle always stirred the thirst of the Blood Angels, and the Death Company was no different. Marneo’s eyes screamed with intense fury, scanning the room for any possible threat. The only threat he could identify was Hadrian, so he focused on him. Gnashing his teeth and pulling on his restraints. “WHERE ARE THEY? WHERE ARE THE TRAITORS?”

Hadrian smiled under the helmet. Part of him was glad he wasn’t the target of Marneo’s fury for once. “They will be here soon brother Sergeant. You will have your revenge.”

Marneo threw his head back and roared. “BRING ME THE TRAITORS! BRING ME HORUS! I WILL TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB!”

Hadrian stepped closer to Marneo. He reached into his satchel and produced a small, orange fruit. He had pocketed the mango from the mess hall earlier, intending to eat it while in his quarters, preparing for battle. Instead, he held it up in front of his brother. “Would you like a mango brother? It will help you keep up your strength. You will need it if you are to emerge victorious against the traitors.”

Marneo snarled as the scent of the fruit worked it’s way into his nose. He breathed it in deep. Hadrian thought he saw the Rage flicker in his eyes for a moment. After a moment of deliberation, Marneo leaned his head forward, and took a bite of the fruit. Hadrian continued to hold it for him, as if he were feeding a large animal. Soon, only the pit of the fruit was left. Hadrian placed it in his satchel to dispose of later. “How do you feel brother?”

The Rage returned in full force as he struggled against the chains. “I feel like tearing off Horus’s head and presenting it to Father stuffed!”

Hadrian removed his helmet and held it under his arm. He held his brothers gaze for a moment. The thought of what was to come returned to his mind, and his head drooped. “Brother… I know you do not remember me anymore, I know you do not remember the things we did together, but I want you to know I am proud to have fought at your side, and I am eager to see you fight once more.”

Hadrian turned to leave, placing his helmet back on his head. He was about to exit the room, when he heard a voice. “I am proud of you too.”

Hadrian paused. The words came from Marneo, but they did not belong to him. He suddenly felt his blood slow. The Red Thirst had been dancing in him as he awaited the coming battle, but now it fell completely silent. He felt a uniquely divine presence radiating from behind him. He wanted to turn around, to face whatever was there behind him, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He felt as if he was frozen in place.

“Your brother cannot say it, but he is as proud of you as I am, my son.”

Those final two words finally snapped Hadrian out of his stupor, and he wheeled around to face whatever was behind him. What he saw defied all logic. Throughout the halls of the Blood Angels ships and fortresses, there were countless paintings of Sanguinius. His golden blonde hair flowing magnificently from his head while pristinely white wings carried him across the battlefield. The face of his dead Primarch was well known to all Blood Angels for this reason. Standing before him was that same divine visage. The form of Sanguinius appeared to hover over Marneo, emanating divine power and grace. In one hand he held a mighty golden sword, and in the other a golden chalice filled with blood. Hadrian’s jaw dropped open as his armor’s sensor suite failed to identify what was happening. “F-father?”

Sanguinius’s mouth did not move when he spoke. His words came from Marneo’s mouth, as Hadrian looked on in awe. “You care deeply for your brother. You care for your Chapter. You care for the Imperium. You are the heart of your Chapter, Captain Hadrian Antinous. You are the swift hand which will guide them to victory this day, and beyond.”

Hadrian fell to his knees. No amount of effort from him could stem the tide of tears streaming from his eyes. A direct vox line from Chaplain Relus opened on his HUD. The Chaplain’s barrage of inquiries and commands were ignored by Hadrian, still too enraptured by the sight before him.

Sanguinius’s face remained stoic throughout the whole exchange. He turned his head to the side and raised the chalice. Blood overflowed from the chalice and spilled onto Marneo, coating his black armor in red. Hadrian watched his brother bathe in the blood flowing from his Father’s chalice, before a hand on his shoulder pulled him back to reality.

“BROTHER HADRIAN! DO YOU HEAR ME?”

Hadrian snapped his head to attention and launched off the floor into a battle stance, the Red Thirst suddenly pounding in his veins. Chaplain Relus yanked his hand from his shoulder in surprise as Hadrian scanned the room for threats. He turned back to look at Sanguinnius, and saw he was now gone. Marneo was no longer covered in blood either, and he was back to screaming and thrashing angrily, demanding to be loosed upon Horus and his legions.

Hadrian took a deep breath and focused on quelling the Thirst within.

“Hadrian?”

Relus’s tone was marked with a single shred of worry, something he often did well to hide. Hadrian rolled his shoulders and took another breath. “I am fine, brother Chaplain.”

“Brother Captain I must insist on-”

“I said I am fine!”

Relus sensed the hostility in his words and decided to back off. Hadrian looked back to Marneo’s screaming, thrashing form, and finally closed the door to his cell. “Continue your preparations brother. I will check in with you before we deploy.”

He did not wait for Relus’s response before leaving. The tears streaming down his face persisted for several minutes before he finally reigned himself in.

=================

“Are they dead? All of them?”

“Yes brother. All of them.”

Hadrian’s battleplate had sustained significant damage in the battle against the Necrons of this world. He was missing a pauldron, and his breastplate was in pieces. Saying nothing of his various trophies and embellishments which had been destroyed in the fight. Chaplain Relus finished reading off the Death Company battle report, while Hadrian listened attentively. “…Brother Marneo died gloriously. He tried to fight an Overlord by himself and nearly won. He died in the battle, but his efforts weekend the beast enough for one of our tanks to land a scorching final blow.”

Hadrian nodded curtly. “Thank you, brother Chaplain. You are dismissed.”

Relus saluted Hadrian, and both men left the war room. Hadrian returned to his chambers, and called in his serfs to begin the rites of unarmouring. As he waited for them to arrive, he realized one of his side pouches was still intact, and that it had something inside it. He reached into the pouch and fished out a small seed, with bits of orange still stuck to it. The mango pit. He had forgot to throw it out before the battle.

His serfs entered the room, and hastily began preparations for the rites of unarmouring. One of them noticed the seed in his hand and approached him. “My lord, do you wish me to dispose of this?”

Hadrian looked to the serf, then back to the seed. “No. Have it cast in amber and hung on my breastplate. This will serve as a replacement for the many trophies I have lost.”

The serf bowed and took the seed from him. Hadrian watched him leave, before stepping up to allow the remaining to serfs to begin. As the armor was stripped from his body, and the glove underneath was unfastened and removed, he felt the weight of his sorrows lifting from him for but a moment. While he waited for his serfs to fetch him proper clothing, he stood at the viewport in his quarters, gazing into space. The Cicadrix Maledictum would be coming into view soon, and he would need to close his window. For now, he simply took in the sight of the endless stars, and the ships that danced through them. Picturing his fallen brother, dancing somewhere amongst those stars.

[soleilnomoon]

Ayoooooooo congratulations on 1.3k!!!!

May I have a mai tai with a side of diced mangoes. And may I request songs 20, 36, 42 and 46 from the playlist for Izou x fem reader 😗

ty so much, it feels so surreal tbh lmaooo (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) lissen, lissen i’m so happy u requested izou bc i’ve been wanting to write him; i had to stop myself from writing more bc i said i was gonna keep things short but!!! 🥴️ sometimes u have to lie a lil. anyway, i had more fun than i should have, i hope you enjoy 😌

1k words (i...know i know, but! in my defense it's izou, what was i supposed to do, oppose him?? never), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; feat. izou being the worst™ & overall menace, fingering, edging, orgasm denial, dom/sub vibes, idk other stuff probably i can't think rn. anyway!!! y/n deserves a purple heart for surviving (or barely surviving idk u tell me). (if u see grammar/spelling errors no u didn't &lt;3)

the rain is relentless — pelting hard, angry droplets against the window, accompanied by a cacophonous, echoing boom from the thunder. nerves get the best of you, make your skin feel like it's being pulled taut against your bones, stretched thin enough to make you want to pull your hair out. being trapped indoors is never ideal, but when izou notices your discomfort and graciously offers to take your mind off the storm, who are you to refuse?

still, you should’ve known better; with izou, there’s always a certain… price you have to pay.

the room is stifling with the window shut, the temperature even more unbearable when he takes his time undressing you.

part of the show, he tells you as he touts an extremely convincing facade of a man with all the grace and patience in the world for you. except, it doesn’t feel that way when his lithe fingers coast along the curve of your jaw, leaving behind a scorching phantom touch that will surely haunt you well into the night. 

you know he’s doing this intentionally, especially when you whine and plead for him to hurry up — to touch you properly.

“oh, now you care?”

you stare at him, wide-eyed, mouth slightly agape at his accusation. normally, you’re always willing to go at his pace, but now you’re barely holding on as an unexplainable greed pours into you at an alarming rate. 

he clicks his tongue, disapproval stamped all over his pretty, delicate features, a frown tugging on his lips as he pinches your nipple roughly through your bra; you let out a shameless moan and almost apologize for it. 

almost.

“be patient,” he commands evenly, his voice terribly deep and hypnotic as you find yourself nodding despite wanting to scream at him to hurry up. the determined look in your eyes makes him chuckle darkly; he brushes his lips against yours, softly kissing once, then twice. a menacing warmth snakes its way up your stomach and lands aggressively in your chest. you grip the edge of the desk tightly, your nails harshly digging into the wood as you force yourself to breathe.

you doubt you’ll survive at the rate he’s going, but if you move, he’ll leave you to fend for yourself — and you don’t want that.

not after he teased you for so long.

izou knows he’s incorrigible, but the desperation in your strained movements brings him a sick pleasure that he’s not ready to admit to. he often wonders how you can make him act as if he’s lost all common sense; and he’s reminded of it when you shift your hips forward, inching your ass closer to the edge of the desk.

he has half a mind to drag this out for as long as he can, but he knows his patience is practically nonexistent right now, despite his words earlier.

on your next inhale, izou gently grabs your face and kisses you; the thunderstorm is the furthest thing from your mind as his other hand travels down your thigh slowly, palm rough and warm against your skin. goosebumps prance down your arms and legs at the sensation, and when his tongue glides deftly in between your parted lips, your back arches, and your chest presses against his. 

izou has assured himself, time and time again, that he doesn’t care for kissing — except when it comes to you, that is.

he nearly loses his focus when you whimper against his lips; you taste every bit as sweet as you look, something he’s come to enjoy every time his tongue caresses yours. you’re not sure how much longer you can hold out, your fingers strain as you struggle to keep gripping the edge of the desk.

there’s a haze that clouds your mind, so much that you barely register when his fingers push aside your panties, an amused smile crawling onto his lips when you tremble against him. you pull away from him while panting lightly, lips now stained with the remnants of his lipstick. 

“izou,” you gasp when he rubs the tips of his fingers along your slit, gathering up a bit of your arousal. his touch is feather-light and you let out a frustrated groan, as your hips roll forward on instinct. “damn it, stop teasing me.”

even though he cuts you with a sharp look, you can tell that he’s having too much damn fun teasing you like that. 

“what did i say earlier?” 

the question is rhetorical, you know it is — which is why you swallow hard and put on a brave face, despite not knowing if izou keep edging you throughout the night. he doesn’t let you marinate on the issue for too long, instead sliding two fingers inside of you without warning. he swallows every moan and gasp you let out while working his fingers in and out of your wet cunt. 

your legs tremble as he fingerfucks you fast and hard; when you get too loud, he slows his pace, thumb hovering over your throbbing clit.

again, you forget yourself and forget izou’s little “rules” rather quickly.

“fuck!” 

he reminds you in between ardent tongue-kisses that you agreed to behave, but he knew you were talking shit. dragging his lips down the length of your neck, izou curls his fingers and rubs firm slow circles against your clit with his thumb. you buck your hips against his hand recklessly and sink your teeth into your bottom lip as you try to stifle another loud moan. it comes out garbled and wholly unintelligible; he bites your neck in warning while your pussy squeezes around his fingers.

it must be audacity that compels him to remove his fingers prematurely, your slick arousal slowly gliding down his fingers — his secret honey, he told you once.

“you really are a greedy little thing, aren’t you?”

his tone is daunting now, giving you a different kind of thrill as you shake your head at him.

“i don’t like liars,” he says smoothly, his own lie spoken with ease as he pushes his fingers in between your lips. “but i’ll give you a chance to make it up to me.” his eyelids lower as you begin to suck and taste yourself on his fingers; he’s already forgiven you, but you don’t need to know that just yet — not when he’s planning to push you to your limit so that you’ll be every bit as obsessed with him as he is with you.

[mk-writes-stuff]

OC Questionnaire

Rules: answer the questions as some OCs, then come up with new questions for the next people

Thanks @elsie-writes, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling, @willtheweaver, and @somethingclevermahogony for the tags! I’m going to do two OCs for each of these - mostly Seven Stations, but I’m going to do Pirates’ Roost for the first one (and yeah you’re getting Malcolm - even though he’s technically not an OC I basically redesigned him from the ground up so I count him)

What is your favourite small nature item? Pinecones, rocks, leaves, seashells?

Merry: “I like seashells! They’re all so unique, and they make pretty jewelry.”

Malcolm: “Wildflowers. They grow everywhere back home. Sometimes I miss them.”

Do you have a go-to or favourite idiom?

Merry: “‘Getting sailclothed’ was always my favourite one on the Belligerent. Amelia wraps people up in sailcloth if they don’t behave.”

Malcolm: “Most of my idioms didn’t survive the language change. I’m the only one I know around here who swears by the stars, so perhaps that counts.”

What is your favourite fruit?

Merry: “It’s hard to pick. There’s so many good ones. I do like mangoes, though!”

Malcolm: “I’ll reluctantly admit that those pineapples they grow in the Sun Empire are pretty good.”

What’s the last thing you replaced and why did you have to replace it?

Belladonna: “My bodyguard. The previous one is no longer with us.”

Cassie: “Some of the wires in my arm kept electrocuting me, so I had to swap those fucks out before I died.”

Where’s a place you’ve been that you felt out of place?

Belladonna: “That’s a very personal question. But, if I’m honest, some of the parties I feel quite out of place. I never feel like I can live up.”

Cassie: “Anywhere where there’s more than two nobles. They have too much shit going on.”

Do you trust your instincts?

Belladonna: “To some degree, but they have to be tempered with reason.”

Cassie: “Well, they’re better at keeping me alive than anything else I’ve got, so yeah.”

If you had to erase one thing from your memory, what would it be?

Nellie: “Narcissus.”

Rhys: “Um, probably the time I spilt a pot of hot water on myself. It hurt a lot and everyone laughed at me.”

What’s your favourite thing about your appearance?

Nellie: “I love how pretty I look now!”

Rhys: “Honestly, I haven’t thought about it. I’m a clone, it’s not really my appearance.”

What’s your stance on the trolley problem?

Nellie: “I’d try to save everyone, or at least as many people as I can.”

Rhys: “I suppose I’d try to minimize suffering, but I don’t know exactly how to do that. I don’t think I really have the authority for something like that.”

What was your happiest memory?

Cassiopeia: “My coronation. Everything I’d worked for was finally coming to pass.”

Stellaris: “Probably discovering the First Station digital museum. There’s so much history in there!”

When was the last time you got sick?

Cassiopeia: “I don’t get sick often, probably a few months ago.”

Stellaris: “Honestly, I don’t feel very well right now.”

What are your hopes for the future?

Cassiopeia: “To lead my station to prosperity, of course.” (This is a lie)

Stellaris: “Um. That’s very abstract. I hope dinner tonight will be good, does that count?”

Is life going the way you hoped it would?

Narcissus: “Of course. My life is perfect.”

Bee (new character!): “I guess it’s going as well as it could!”

What is in your pocket right now? Why?

Narcissus: “Does this dress look like it has pockets?”

Bee: “Mostly just a few cleaning supplies for work. I don’t own much of anything.”

If you could relive a single minute of your life, what minute would you pick?

Narcissus: “Becoming head of Third Station. I finally had all the attention I deserved.”

Bee: “I’m not sure, my life is pretty ordinary. Probably one of the days the other girls and I got off early because of a banquet and we just hid in one of the storerooms and chatted like regular people do.”

This was fun, I hope y’all enjoy! Bee kind of snuck in there at the end - she’s a very minor character in book 1 who’s currently planned to get a small supporting role in book 4. She’s a clone of Belladonna, if y’all want to know more about her I’m happy to share :)

@illarian-rambling @touloserlautrec @rkmoon want to play? Your questions are:

What’s the worst insult you’ve ever been given?

How would you react if someone catcalled you?

If you suddenly appeared in an unknown city, what would you do/look for first?

[bakery-anon]

hi hi bakery anon <3333 good morning/evening/afternoon !! it’s been a while, i hope you’ve taken care of yourself and that everything’s been well <3333 how’s your day been? make sure you eat and take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and sleep well !! <333 xoxoxo

Hi mango anon!!! I’ve missed you!!! How have you been??? It has been a while but I’m so glad to have you in my inbox again! Don’t worry about not being here often though <3 nothing you need to stress over <333

I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself too <3 to be honest I’ve been really stressed with school lately </333 our chef has pulled us out of academics at least two times a week and I’m just feeling a little behind in my class work. Especially English, mostly bcs we have like two essays a week…yes I did sign up for a writing class but I had more faith that I wouldn’t constantly be pulled out of class and would you know actually have time to write </3

My day was okay, definitely not the worst day in the past two weeks lol. The other day (Monday 😮‍💨) I was going through it </3 nothing was going right and I actually asked Q if their dad would take me home bcs I didn’t feel safe walking home. It was really hot and was on the verge of passing out in a cool room so-

I must’ve looked pretty pitiful cause my mom is letting me stay home tomorrow! YIPEE!!!! I will be sleeping until like 12:30 at the earliest. I just finished dinner lol! I made my mom buy me hamburger meat so I made cheeseburger macaroni (my favorite <3) cracking open another bottle of water just for you mango anon <333

Make sure you drink water and take care of yourself too!!!! <33 eat a snack, your body deserves nutrients! Make sure you get some rest too love! <3 thank you for checking in and if you read my little rant <333

I love you mango anon! Take care <333

[causenessus]

MANGO ANON IS THE CUTEST THING EVER OFC U CAN CALL ME THAT!! but good morning! evening or afternoon or night to you ness!! i hope you’d eaten U BETTER HAVE or i will have no choice but to get on my knees and offer u the best of the best !! and don’t worry about not answering these when ur busy LIFE IS HARD SOMETIMES AND ITS OK!! i just wanted to let u know that the people love u and hope ur taking care of urself!! xoxo today i’m having home cooked food because i’ve went out to eat one too many times this month and i miss the taste of homemade food LOL OH and also today the weather is getting nicer which YIPPPEEE but it’s raining like here and there so there’s so many mosquitos like soooo many…. like i went outside for a little picnic with my friend and i got bitten 3 times in the span of 5 minutes its terrible (AND I GOT ONE ON MY KNES WHICH IS LIKE ONE OF THE WORSE SPOTS) but i hope ur day is going good!! if not i hope it gets better bcuz u deserve it!!

GOOD EVENING MANGO ANON AA!!! THE NAME IS ADORABLE I'M GLAD U LOVE IT <33 thank u so much 😭 DW I ATE GOOD TODAY!! i was def craving this like poke bowl from a grocery store....💀 SO THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY!!! AGAIN IT'S ALWAYS SO COOL TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT U EAT AND I'M SO AMAZED BC I EAT THE SAME THING EVERY SINGLE DAY IT'S REALLY BAD 💀💀 BUT U HAVE INSPIRED ME TO HOPEFULLY COOK TOMORROW!! i totally get missing homemade food 😭 AND YES THE WEATHER HAS BEEN GETTING BETTER!! i'm hoping for an early fall and like literally i tried to take a walk today and got soaking wet bc it started raining heavily.... 😭 i'm sorry about the mosquitos tho!!! i always react so bad to them so i totally get your struggle </33 I HOPE THEY HEAL SOON AND DON'T ITCH TOO MUCH!! and thank you my love!! today was honestly pretty good <333 besides being reminded that school is starting up soon..... someone save me 💀 i hope your day was good as well!!!

[drivingsideways]

SFD rewatch, episodes 1-5

One of the best first episodes of a series. Quickly and indelibly establishes the characterization of all the major players.

Love the kid actors, but mainly Lee Re as Boon-yi.

Piglet scene still as unacceptable as the first time. Come on.

Absolutely in love with the theatrical scene constructions, including how we meet Jeong do jeon (stealing a potato); the farce at Yi In geom's residence, Ddang-sae telling the story of "Viper", and the first time we see the Do Dang. I do love Jeong do-jeon inciting a riot (and Kim Myung-min's sexy sexy voice) but also? I think on the first watch and now, it felt a bit off. Mostly because the song becomes a swelling soundtrack over the scene- I wish they had just let it be Jeong do jeon's voice going hoarse and a few people singing it.

Got impatient with the segue into Gongmin's assassination, and at some points the name drops become tiresome. I know SFD was written for an audience familiar with these characters, and so this is on me, but having to pause every few minutes to look up wiki or bodashri's tumblr (seriously MVP of the SFD fandom) is not a great viewing experience for me.

Gil Tae mi -11/10 no notes, especially in that mango-yellow robe. Park Hyuk-kwon completely pussy out in this drama, playing twins who are polar opposites in everything except that they fight like ballet dancers.

Had to ffwd Yeon-hee's rape scene and aftermath. Yes, we get it, losing his mother and his lover are foundational to everything about Ddang-sae, but hoo boy, how about they'd...just not?

I just really, really enjoy Hong In-bang's villainy- his turn to it makes 50 times more sense to me that whatever is going on with that little psycho with his murder grove. [When he went on about justice preventing evil, my eyes rolled back in my head so hard. OKAY, you pathetic little meow-meow, if that works for you, I GUESS.]

Love that the writers re-used a line from TwDR- paraphrased, it's that "the people endure, while monarchies rise and fall". In TwDR, when Sejong says it to Jeong gi-joon, it's to refute his rather nihilistic view of the chaotic future where people are able to choose their own leaders; here Hong In bang uses it to justify raising taxes on an already overtaxed population. Writers nim, your minds.

Boon yi is THE BEST

Moo-hyul is a baby. Imagine watching the extremely boring Jo Jin-woong playing this character in 2011 and then waking up to Yoon Kyung-sang's adorable himbeaux portrayal in this.

Byun Yo-han is such a genuinely lovely actor; I just wish that Ddang-sae's whole trajectory wasn't unmitigated misery. It's harder on the rewatch because at least the first time I had hope. I think writer nims are fond of reminding us that being born poor , and consequently often powerless to resist constant degradation, is a lifelong curse that only a few escape- you see it in Kang Chae Yoon's fate as well- but I think Kang Chae yoon's fate felt like less of a punishment by capricious gods than Ddang-sae's.

Ok, but Byun Yo-han and that marketplace performance. LOVELY.

Ddang-sae's leaving Baek Yoon's dead body in the street like a prom invite for Sambong. (and then he went and left and actual note that says "whom do i kill next?") made me laugh. C'mon Sambong, take some time out from fulfilling your divine purpose to give this boy the railing he deserves. I feel like so many of both their problems would have been solved by this.

[mangospams]

Also don’t feel band about not posting fics, Mango 🥹 you’re doing your best and your mental health is important. I appreciate you taking so much time to write these but you deserve kindness too!-🌻

It’s just that I want to write but I somehow just can’t 😡😡 So I just hope that I start feeling a bit better and can get back to the things I like to do, if you know what I mean 🥺 Thank you, you’re too sweet to me, you deserve kindness as well, don’t forget that 💗

[emawinslow]

how has your day been? in as many words as possible pls

wow. aiming for the stars. bold since you know how much I love to talk but I’ll give the people what they want

my day was pretty good all things considered. the things we’re considering is that I worked 3-8 instead of 12-5 today and I don’t even have a show to watch with my family tonight. the bachelorette was crazy last night kallie you would have loved it.

anyways the play by play of my day was I woke up at 9:55 bc my friend has her radio show from 10-12 and I listen as often as I can. but it wasn’t even her on the radio it was some other bitch but I was already awake so I just stayed up even though I was up late last night reading fanfiction and texting bi guy jason and journaling. so I ate my breakfast which was an overripe mango which I ate peel and all over the kitchen sink and gas station potato wedges I got from work two days ago. it was fine. and I watched a youtube video on the barbie movie by a youtuber I’m subscribed to while I ate. but I was still tired and I had enough time to take a nap so I did and let me tell you the last fucking thing I wanted to do was get up but alas I did. and I was hungry so I had a struggle meal (so you could call every meal I have these days) it of an entire can of green beans. I heated them in the microwave ofc but honestly they were fucking delicious.

I left for work a little later than I wanted and that was stressing me out and I started listening to my playlist from last summer and I must have played that shit to death bc I skipped like a million songs before I got to one I could listen to. I got to work and I liked all my coworkers that were there which is a fucking miracle and my three favorite coworkers (the guy my age, the woman who got hired the day before me, and the manager who doesn’t give a shit how much work anybody’s doing and has been perpetuating the wheels vs doors debate for a week) were all there so I was content. even if all the customers were fucking cunts for some reason like idk what was in the air today but people were being such assholes but it was fine bc every time they walked away my coworkers and I would just talk shit about them. btw I didn’t like the woman who got hired the day before me at first but now me and her are like this 🤞 ily sandy. she’s so fucking real and every time I tell her that she’s so real she laughs bc she thinks it’s such a funny phrase. but she literally is I swear to god I would have lost it if I was the only new cashier. but apparently she got a way better training process then me bc she’s constantly like “nobody taught you how to do x or told you that you need to do y? that’s so weird” like yeah sandy it is weird. and both of us have the same irrational fear that every other one of our coworkers hates us but at least we like each other so it’s fine. bottom line I love sandy she’s my best friend and I hope when summer ends and I quit that she goes and finds a better job she deserves it. also both of us got soooooo excited when we saw the new halloween candy display like fuck yeah you know what time it is

all the coworkers were talking about arbys at work and I’ve never even gotten anything other than fries and I was starving and we have no food at home because my family sucks at grocery shopping so I went to arbys and got a french dip sandwich and some mozzarella sticks. the sky was beautiful on the drive home and when I got there my mom was sitting on the couch in the front room crocheting but I opted to be a hermit and eat in my room. I got some grease on my bedspread but it’s fine. I started the new garrett watts video bc I have to watch all of his videos it’s tradition. well it’s usually tradition to drink starbucks while I watch his videos. maybe instead of finishing it while I go through my drafts I’ll watch it tomorrow after work and get myself a lil drink as a treat. bc that tradition started back in 2020 when every thursday after my last online class instead of killing myself like I wanted to I would go and use my years and years of starbucks gift cards to buy myself a lil drink then go on a lil drive and go home and drink my drink while I watched the newest sweet boys (garrett watts and andrew siwicki) podcast episode while I embroidered. anyways after that greasy ass dinner I was feeling like collapsing and dying so I ate half a green bell pepper in the kitchen. and even though that was all like less than an hour and a half ago I’m really fucking hungry again. I literally don’t understand how I’m always so hungry. it’s pissing me off.

since then I’ve just been fucking around on my phone and I think I’m gonna write my diary entry of the day then take my shower (I have to wash my hair boo👎👎👎) then try and go to sleep I’m fucking exhausted. speaking of my diary thanks for asking me this bc I’m probably just gonna copy paste it instead of actually writing the diary entry for today. which I’m ideally gonna write in a week but I’m back to being two weeks behind on my diary again. I knew that was gonna happen with dani visiting and all but it still sucks. hopefully I can get my act together before school starts. thanks!

[bookwyrminspiration]

yes, that's exactly the difference! and particularly in the talks about quality--it was really strange to hear people talk about the quality standard being so low when i personally grew up in the junior section with really well-written and designed books that still hold up upon rereads. of course there are books that don't appeal to me at my age now: i read a book recently by an author i used to love and it was almost as if i could physically see the difference between my life experience and the intended demographic, but at the same time there are still a lot of books i read back then that are still fully capable of taking my breath away.

i know at thirteen would not have picked a book with this cover up from the library without the prior knowledge that this was sophie and fitz!!! because i was a child with Taste^tm and almost always judged books by their covers (which, tbh, i still do! is that saying actually meant to apply to books too because if so, the entire graphic design industry says a collective ouch). especially when so much of what i read was from artists like Kazu Kibuishi haha, there was a lot of criteria i remember having! so i was absolutely disappointed when i saw the graphic novel cover reveal and it was just like any of the ones that you'd see on the side of the shelves at the end of the week when all of the older kids had taken all the interesting books, and then you ended reading the entire Geronimo Stilton series in like half a year (there was a borrow limit) instead.

to backtrack a bit though, from an artist's standpoint i don't think it's terrible! i don't think it's badly designed or maliciously designed--i think it's the job i probably would have done if i were hired to do something like that without any prior knowledge of the series. i don't even know what's in the first issue to make sense of what scene they "should" have illustrated for the cover, so it was kind of just like.... well that's a thing. that happened. and i talked to my friends about it privately instead of posting because in what way would it be productive to complain publicly about how mediocre a book cover is, but then people started bringing up the children's media arguments again and it was just so frustrating to me. i'm sure they didn't mean to belittle children's media, but it was just like... i am struggling to articulate but just a why are you here, in the children's media playpen, saying "yeah these plastic toy guns mass-bought from dollar tree suck but it's okay the toys don't have to be manufactured with great quality because the kids won't care!" like to some degree yes but there are also i didn't spend my days searching for the best quality my little pony toys for nothing? if that makes sense.

(2/2) i am concluding that long thing with um. i have just eaten a piece of the most truly awful mango i have ever had. is this what the mango haters mean when they say they don't like it. this tastes like coconut

(and also thank you for adding your tags to my post! i am glad you did because i hope it helped people look at it with a more attentive eye and didn't let them take my words at Face Value. and my brain is now melting from all of that writing haha but yes, as much as there is a huge difference between the majority of us and the age of the intended audience, kids also deserve quality things and that was what i was trying to get at! + hope you are doing well and that you have a lovely day)

----

Thanks! I'm doing alright and hope you're having a lovely time as well. You articulated yourself very well in this, so I don't want to detract from that with a long response. But you make several great points, and I agree that I don't think I would've picked up this book as a kid without already being invested in keeper. Which isn't meant to criticize or be rude to those behind it, just acknowledgement that the cover is what draws you in to a book, and that doesn't have the elements I look for or typically find appealing--or in this case what I found appealing at that age, as my tastes have changed.

Based on what I know, I do think the scene they chose is an appropriate one and makes a lot of sense! It's the huge transition in Sophie's life, leaping to this new world where "magic" is real and there's so much fantasy and otherworldly yet mundane things to discover. It completely flips her world upside down, but that's not really reflected in the image itself. It's just two tweens smiling with a burst of light; I think that could've been represented better, but I don't have the technical skill or knowledge to do a truly thorough and meaningful critique.

But getting to your overall point: children deserve good media, you're right. I don't think anyone here (at least that I saw) was truly trying to make that argument, but there can be a fine line that takes some awareness that you walk in these kinds of conversations. The distinction between not liking it because it's not for you, and not liking it because it's lower quality regardless of it's for you is an important one--I don't know if I've worded that well, but I hope you get my meaning.

I think something like this may also remind many of us of the trends we seen in books overall recently: the booktok book. The appeal to tropes and popularity instead of creativity and care taken with the medium. More generic and impersonal designs, which one could argue the cover is. So perhaps the cover isn't bad, but in it we can see evidence of a wider trend and how it could continue, and that's bad.

There's a lot of ways to look at this and things that can be considered. At the end of the day, children deserve good media and that cover doesn't seem fully representative of the story---in my opinion, but I don't have much familiarity with graphic novels so take it with a grain of salt. And your welcome, I hope my additions help as well! I feel like I've inevitably forgotten something or left something unsaid because of the length, but if anyone thinks I've missed something or wants to continue this conversation further, my ask box is open! (just please be respectful, I'm a real actual person)

also oh shit just remembered there's two mangoes in the kitchen i sure hope they haven't gone bad because i totally forgot about them

[mangobubbletea7]

I posted 7,126 times in 2022

196 posts created (3%)

6,930 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@noobsomeexagerjunk

@cupsmp

@420technoblazeit

@neapolitantoebeans

@everwizard

I tagged 1,034 of my posts in 2022

#mango replies sometimes - 271 posts

#mango speaks sometimes - 191 posts

#dream smp - 126 posts

#dsmp - 124 posts

#/personal - 69 posts

#dreamwastaken - 36 posts

#dream - 30 posts

#favorite - 28 posts

#foolish gamers - 28 posts

#mcyt - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#but nope it’s stuck around and i’ve gotten into a few things in the time i’ve been into dsmp usually interactive fiction games but i haven’t

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It’s extremely funny that we’ve learned during this stream that a character trait of Foolish’s is occasionally saying “I hate Badboyhalo” to himself out loud every few minutes 😂

What’s wrong with him???

803 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#4

I think anyone who was online yesterday participating in the exile discourse on any side might want to watch this clip. BBH just explained a bit more about what he said on Foolish’s stream.

984 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#3

Happy two year anniversary to the OG, you deserve every bit of success Sad-ist!

1,655 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

#2

I feel so bad for his friends, they’re all so young, what a shit thing to deal with when your job is to act happy on camera. What a shit thing to deal with in general. What a shit thing to happen. I hope they’re okay. I hope they take time to grieve and to all take care of themselves.

But also please don’t judge them if they’re trying to distract themselves with a stream, let them do whatever they feel comfortable with, they’re adults and can handle their own feelings.

Take care. Be kind. Enjoy each and every little thing life has to offer. Hug your friends and tell the CCs you follow how much you appreciate them. Smile at random people on the street. Live life and be good to yourself as well as others.

4,537 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Take care of yourselves everyone, it’s going to be a very rough couple of days. It’s going to be a very rough couple of months. It sucks. I’m so sorry to everyone in this community, to the CCs and his family. It’s such a rough hand he was dealt. Drink water, make sure to eat, reach out to friends if you need, try your best not to beat yourself up, I know Techno would want all of us to remember him at his best and be happy for the good times we got. I don’t know how we’re supposed to move on like this but we’ll get through it and always remember the amazing man he was. Technoblade never dies.

16,465 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →