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munsonsmixtapes · 2 days ago

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hello! if you have the time could you please write soft Eddie guiding a shy reader when they make out for the first time?

There's a knock on Eddie's door and he hurries to answer it, hoping it's who he thinks it is. He isn't expecting anyone else, but it's not uncommon for people to show up looking to buy from him, but he really hopes it's you. He's been looking forward to tonight for over a week since you suggested it. He opens the door and there you are, beautiful as ever.

He steps aside and you plant a soft kiss on his cheek as you enter the trailer. You hold out a DVD and a few of Eddie's favorite snacks and he can't help but smile at how sweet you are. You've only been on a few dates and hopes he wouldn't scare you off if he proposed. Because if he's being honest, he can't see himself with anyone else.

No one he's dated has ever been so sweet to him. All they seemed to be interested in was using him for his body and rarely anything else. He wasn't really known as Eddie "the freak" Munson (well, maybe in other ways) anymore, but it still seemed like people didn't want anything else from him besides drugs or sex.

But you? All you seem to want from him is his company, genuinely interested in all of his fun facts that he has about random subjects and you even laugh at his jokes. And they aren't pity laughs either. You're a breath of fresh air and he hopes you'll stick around forever.

"You didn't have to do all this," he tells you with a smile as he takes the stuff from you. You're staring down at the floor and he can tell you're getting shy on him again. He doesn't mind, though. He thinks it's cute.

"Of course I did," you insist. "I wanted to treat you for once," you then smile and Eddie never gets tired of seeing it.

"Well I'm not going to say no to that," he responds then takes you by the hand, threading his fingers through yours. "Now c'mon."

You follow him over to the couch and the two of you sit together, but you make sure to leave a little space to be polite. You want to be cuddled up into his side, though. You want rest your head on his chest as his hand lazily runs up and down your back.

A lot of the people you've out with all seemed to be after one thing so it warms your heart that Eddie is willing to go at your pace. He always waits for you to initiate things like hugs or kisses and waits until you pull away, never asking for more. He's nothing but a gentleman and you really like spending time with him.

Eddie spreads out all of the movies you brought, his eyebrows quirking at the variety. You seem to have an eclectic taste and he admires that. He plucks the horror movie from the selection and heads over to the VCR. As soon as his back is turned, you begin to panic. You had only brought the movie to give you excuse to get close to him because of the scary scenes, but now you're beginning to regret your decision.

Eddie turns back to you and you try to hide your fear, debating on telling him that you'd rather watch something else, but you can't yourself to form the words. So you just sit in silence as Eddie moves back over to the couch, sitting even closer to you now and your fear takes over as you throw yourself into his arms.

Eddie lets out a laugh at your eagerness but he wraps his arms around you anyway, pulling you even closer to him as he turns his head towards the screen. You instantly feel better knowing that he'll keep you safe but can't help but think about what Steve told you when he rented the movie out to you.

He told you that it was the scariest movie he'd ever seen and that he couldn't sleep for days afterwards. And you rented it anyway even though he had suggested many more options that weren't nearly as scary and would still help you get into Eddie's arms despite how silly he thought the idea was.

The movie hasn't even started and you're already burying your head into his chest, gripping his shirt in your fists as tight as possible. His hand moves up to stroke the back of your head as he murmurs something to you that you can't quite hear.

"Hey, hey," he says as grabs hold of your face, forcing you to look him in the eye. His are nothing but soft as they look at you, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," you shake your head, suddenly feeling silly for how scared you just were. "It's nothing."

"We don't have to watch the movie," he tells you. "If you were scared, why didn't you say something?" It's a fair question, but you stay silent, not wanting to tell him the truth.

"I-" you start to say but cut yourself off, not wanting to admit the truth nor finding the right words to use.

"You what, honey?" He asks, his hands moving up and down your back exactly the way you wanted him to. Sometimes you're convinced he's a mind reader.

"I just wanted an excuse to cuddle you," you tell him, your voice so soft he almost didn't hear you. And at that, Eddie lets out a laugh before pulling you to his chest, giving you a tight squeeze. You have to remind yourself that he's not laughing at you, but because of you.

"You could have just cuddled me," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world and it is. Well, it should be, but you've always found it hard to voice what you want no matter how badly you want it.

"How about we call off the movie for now?" He asks and turns off the TV then pulls you closer to him, his hands still moving up and down your back. You look up at him as he licks his lips, now unable to think about anything but how inviting they look.

The two of you have kissed multiple times, but it's never gone any farther than little pecks here and there because you've been too afraid to do any more than that. But now you feel the need to go all the way, wondering what he tastes like, if his hair is as soft as it looks.

But you've never made out with anyone and that scares you. Even though you know for sure that Eddie would talk you through it, the whole thing still makes you feel nervous. But apparently not nervous to forget it completely because before you can stop yourself, you're looking up at Eddie, gulping before getting his attention.

"Eddie?" You ask and his head turns to you, those honey eyes boring into yours. You melt under his gaze but trying to muster up the confidence again.

"Hm?" He asks, that stupid smirk making its way upon his face, the same one that's always there when he looks at you.

"Can-" you cut yourself off for the second time tonight but Eddie just sits there, patient as ever as he waits for you to speak. He knows how hard it can get sometimes for you to speak your mind so he doesn't mind waiting for you to finish your thoughts. "Can I have a kiss?"

"Of course you can," he responds, taking your face in his hands and pecking your lips once, twice, three times before pulling away only for you to grumble in response.

"No," you shake your head. "I want a real kiss."

"Oh," he replies, wondering what made you decide on that, but wanting to oblige. He's willing to give you whatever you ask.

His hands move down to neck, his thumbs rubbing back and forth across your jaw as he leans in again, his lips slowly capturing yours as they move together slowly. He's nothing but gentle as he kisses you, showing you how it's done.

Your hands press against his chest and all you can think about how you can't believe you've gone so long without his lips attached to yours. They're nothing but soft and gentle and now you're sure that you can do this for hours.

Eddie breaks away before you're ready and you're breathing hard as you try to catch your breath. He stares down, a chuckle falling from his lips as he presses his forehead to yours.

"You're supposed breathe, baby," he tells you softly and you feel your cheeks heat.

"Can we try that again?" You ask as you pick up one of his curls, twirling it around your pointer finger, staring down at it as you speak again. "Do you think we could...make out? I promise to breathe this time."

"Oh, honey," he sighs before pressing a kiss to you lips. "I'd love to make out with you." Another and another until he's capturing your lips again, taking the lead again. You have no idea what you're doing but Eddie is being nothing but a sweetheart as he guides you through it.

He pulls away again and you whine this time at the absence of his lips, chasing him and getting in another quick kiss before you sit back, waiting for him.

"Do you want to sit in my lap?" He suggests. "I think that'll be more comfortable for you."

Eddie sits with his back against the couch and you do as he suggests and straddle his waist which feels foreign to you but he's right. It's much more comfortable. Your arms wrap around his neck as his rest on the small of your back, a good spot between your waist and upper back because this is just kissing and he doesn't want to give you the impression that he's going to go any farther.

"You kiss me now," he says and your heart races in your chest as you think about fucking it all up.

"Are you sure?" You ask, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth, nibbling on it as you contemplate.

"Positive," he nods. "You've got this. Do whatever you want, baby. This is all about you."

"Okay," you nod, leaning forward and slotting your lips just like he did, Eddie immediately responding to you but he's moving at your pace instead of leading like he previously had.

You remember to breath through your nose as your fingers thread into his hair on each side of his head. His hair is normally off limits because people get too rough with it, but with you, he doesn't care. In fact, he loves when you play with his hair, a little bit of love sprinkles into every touch of it.

"You're doing so good, honey," he murmurs against your lips. "Do you want to try sticking your tongue in my mouth?"

"Please," you whine with a yank of his hair and if you can feel his cock hardening underneath you, you don't say anything. And thank god for that.

"Do you want me to show you first?"

"Yes," you breath against his lips and he's getting even more hard, knowing that he's going to have to get himself off later because there's no way he's going to expect you to go all the way right now.

Eddie captures your lips again as his hands rest against your waist, landing on the strip of skin where your shirt has ridden up. His lips are moving against you to warm you up and then he gingerly flicks his tongue against your bottom lip.

"Open up," he commands against your lips and you do as he says, opening up for him as he slides his tongue into your mouth. He swirls his tongue around yours and you mimic his actions, tugging on his hair as a moan falls from your lips at the feeling of his tongue moving with yours.

Your eyes widen and you can't help but pull away as you suddenly feel embarrassed at the sound you've just made. Eddie, though? Eddie's convinced that's the hottest thing he's ever heard and he really wants you to make it again.

"You don't have to be embarrassed," he says quickly, trying his best to assure you. "It was really hot, actually."

"It was?"

"Definitely," he nods. "Would it help if you made me moan too?" All you can do is nod and before he can say anything else, your lips are on his, only a few seconds passing before your tongue is flicking against his bottom lip. He opens up immediately and you mimic what he just showed you, your tongue swirling around his as you pulling on his hair even harder, a loud moan falling from his lips.

You haven't thought about it until now since you were so caught up in his kisses, but you're soaking wet between your legs and if you had more confidence, you'd ask Eddie to take care of you, but you don't so you don't. You don't think you're ready for that right now anyway.

You try to focus on the taste of him to get your mind off of it. He tastes like cigarettes that you know he smoked before you came over and you don't know why but you can't get enough of it. It's intoxicating.

You stay like that for a while until your lips are kiss bitten and your legs are asleep from you straddling him for too long. You both decide to call it a night and Eddie walks you to your car like the gentleman he is, kissing you one more time before you drive away. He then goes back inside and heads to his room where he collapses onto his bed, deciding that he's probably (definitely) in love with you.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #soft!eddie #soft!eddie x shy!reader #shy!reader #eddie munson x shy!reader

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mejaemin · 2 days ago

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timeless - lee donghyuck

wc: 1.6k

summary: visiting a photobooth, yours and hyuck’s love is evident, and with your pair of photo strips it’s now timeless <3

warnings: not proofread, sexual jokes, so much fluff, don’t read this if you’re single !!! it’s so cute and so romantic it will make you feel lonely !!! (i say while being single)

an: umm i may or may not have written this in one hour… i was completely stuck and decided to write a sentence, see what happens, and then all of a sudden i finished it 😨 i hope you all enjoy !!! i actually love this sm (˶◜ᵕ◝˶) tysm to my love @cigsaftersuh for requesting !!! enjoy ♡

(caramel masterlist here!! ʕ ᵔⰙᵔ⠕ʔ)

───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────

you’re making your way to the end of the amusement park, everyone in your group feeling very out of it. since at least two rides ago, your child, technically your boyfriend, had been dragging his feet. all of hyuck’s friends were getting tired too, you could see it in the way their eyes drooped and they lazily chewed at the cotton candy and other snacks in their hands.

it truly was a fun day, heading out at around noon to go to an amusement park all day with hyuck and his friends. it was something that you were truthfully dreading, being that you never really liked them that much, but the way his face lit up at the idea of attending was something you could never say no to. and truthfully, after a while they weren’t so bad. maybe their frontal lobes have all developed and are finally becoming men with humor that isn’t backed by jokes about farts and genitalia.

anyway, you’re getting closer to the entrance when donghyuck finally stops using you as a human crutch, grabbing your attention before pointing toward something in the distance. following the direction of his finger, you spot a photobooth in the distance and you’re immediately making your way towards it. he takes a large sip of whatever heavily sugared drink he bought earlier in the day, using it to wake up before telling the group where you’re running off to.

“we’re going to the photobooth, so don’t leave us while we’re in there.” he says, stretching and shaking away his fatigue.

immediately, jaemin’s looking at the metal box and its red curtain, smirking. “yeah, we’ll be waiting. don’t do anything other than take photos though..”

hyuck was fully ready to start fighting back, already forming an explanation as to why exhibitionism is perfectly fine but jaemin’s obnoxious cackles overpowered any and all of his rebuttals. accepting the slap on his shoulder, he huffs, making his way over to you.

you’re waiting patiently outside the booth, some other group already in there. he stands beside you, snaking an arm around your waist as you lean against the wall of it. truthfully, hyuck didn’t even have any sort of affinity towards them, but knowing you do he was more than happy to help you take any opportunity to visit them. he’s even bought you one of those cute binders for all your photo strips, pairing the gift with deco stickers for you to cover it in. of course, he got two to keep him and your friends separate as well.

“did you have fun?” you ask, pulling him out of his still sleepy daze.

he turns to you, smiling softly. “of course. best day ever.” he leans in, giving you a kiss to your cheek. “you didn’t have to say yes though, ‘cause i could tell you were hesitating when i asked.”

you flush, despite knowing he always sees through you. “yeah.. but now that we actually did it, i’m really enjoying myself. your friends aren’t that annoying anymore, too.”

he chuckles, sucking air in through his teeth. “of course. you showed me the way, so i enlightened them too.”

you hum, taking his arm in yours, resting your head on his shoulder. the sun is a perfect orange-purple, and the lights adorning all the attractions have flickered on a while ago. it’s truly picture worthy, but you’re more tired than you’d like to admit and choose to stay in the moment. you can see the group sitting at a picnic table, jisung’s flash accidentally turning on as he and the others try snapping photos of you two, and they giggle softly. you turn to point it out to hyuck but the other group is leaving.

he’s already dragging you in, sliding into the cramped booth before pulling you into his lap. before you can even make an attempt at paying for the photo strips he’s pulling his wallet from your bag (yes yours, why get something to carry his stuff when he buys you enough for the both of you?) and making the payment.

“how many?” he asks, gesturing to the screen in front of you. his arms slide around your waist, his hands resting over your stomach. the way his thumbs glide against your stomach make you feel a little dazed as you try reading the options, but eventually you pick the option with two strips.

“two copies. one for me, one for you.” you say simply, reaching out to click your option.

the countdown immediately starts, and you’re both full of giggles as you hurriedly try to decide your first pose. he’s throwing plenty out like spitfire, and through your fit of laughter you’re denying every one. ‘no, i’m not doing a nerd pose!’ or ‘nooo, something cuter!’ coming from you as he tickles you in attempt to stop your protests. eventually, the ten second countdown comes to an end, and the first photo snaps to capture a photo of you both giggling.

“aw, hyuckie, come on! i wasn’t even ready!” you complain, playfully swatting at his shoulder.

“oops. sorry mama, but come on. you’ll look hot regardless of how ready you were.” he dramatically looks you up and down, and you roll your eyes at his over the top flirting.

glancing at the screen, there’s eight seconds left, and you take his face in your palms. “let’s do an actually good one now.” there’s a speaker beeping signalling the last three seconds, and that’s when you lean in, giving hyuck a sweet, slow kiss.

even after the shutter sounds, he’s bringing you closer, pulling away to give you two, three more before he finally pulls away.

you sigh, recollecting yourself. “last one.. let’s be tame this time, okay?”

he nods obediently, ready to listen to you now that his need for your kisses has been fulfilled. you lean in, smushing your cheek against his with the cutest pout, and he mimics it immediately. with your hand brought up to his, you make a heart together, of course not without bending your pointer finger to make it a cat. the camera flashes one last time, and once the large pink bubble letters say you’re done, you excitedly get out of the booth to receive the printed strips.

waiting for them to fall out of the opening, you’re nearly bouncing on your feet. hyuck’s got your bag and he pulls his phone out, sneakily taking a few photos of you in your excitement before pocketing it for later. you’re just too beautiful for him to not capture it forever, your eyes glimmering with the multicolored lights all around you. once the photo strips are printed you pull them out, and you squeal, your smile growing impossibly bigger.

the first photo, of you giggling, is so perfect. you were apprehensive at first, afraid it was gonna catch your worst angle being that it was unexpected but it couldn’t have been better. your eyes are shut, smile big with pure joy. hyuck is looking up at you, his eyes glimmering with so much love. you didn’t notice it in there, but now that you’re looking at the photo your entire body heats at the way he’s looking at you like you’re the entire world.

the second one, you kissing, is adorable. you can’t wait to post it, knowing all your friends will be swooning over your relationship and you’ll be getting so many compliments about it. your hair is covering your face, the majority of it capturing the back of your head, but donghyuck is in almost full view. his eyes are shut, and his hand is making its way to the back of your head. the picture is radiating with love, and there’s no doubt in your mind that you’ll be showing it to your kids one day, and maybe even theirs.

the final one of you in your heart pose is the cherry on top, not outwardly romantic, balancing the other two out perfectly. you two look adorable in your little world together. your hand is on his cheek, pulling him into you, and both your lips are puffing up into a pout with how your faces smush together. it’s so you, and you know everyone will be able to tell you picked the pose out with the kitty heart.

there’s a pink, heart patterned frame around the photos, and at the bottom there’s the name of the park and a date. it blends the three photos together perfectly, and you’re thankful there’s no face warping photo. there’s a little bit of an orangey, hazy coloring over them, but it makes it all the better, giving it an old-timey romance vibe. hyuck’s skin is the right shade in all of them too, his tan being safe from any whitewashing technology.

“damn, can i see them yet?” he complains, coming forward and taking one of the two from you.

you look up at him expectantly, watching his reaction as his eyes trail down the strip. his cheeks flush, and he’s smiling lovingly at them. saying nothing, he looks to you and pulls you in for the sweetest hug, leaving a kiss at the top of your forehead.

as you make your way back to the group, he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “i actually really love this. like, i’m gonna get it tattooed right here.” he turns to you, already laughing at himself as his free hand makes a line across his forehead.

you giggle, leaning into him. “you’re so stupid! don’t do it, the photo is permanent enough.”

“true, true,” he says, laughing as you make your way to his friends, showing the photo strip. they’re all groaning, complimenting you two and your cuteness, all while complaining about their loneliness.

looking back down at his copy, his smile is soft. he’s the luckiest man in the world, having you, and he’ll be sure to never lose the strip as a way to remember and keep you forever.

───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────

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littlegrapejuice · 11 hours ago

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Flatline | LN4

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: Lando parties a bit too hard and needs to be patched up. Luckily, he can count on a pretty nurse.

Author's Note: I'M BACK MFS🙂‍↕️ it's been a while haha but enjoy this lil lando fic that was inspired by the song Flatline by 5sos!! Also happy new year hehe, hope everyone is doing good and i wish y'all the best for 2025🫶🏻

F1 MASTERLIST🏎

King’s Day 2024. Amsterdam, Netherlands.

Amongst all the drivers, people would’ve thought Max Verstappen the most prone to be sighted in public while celebrating his country on its national day. However, the one that was currently trending on social media was Lando Norris. Pictures as well as videos were being posted, reposted, and commented on every second. No one had expected Lando to spend the weekend away in the Netherlands in between two grand prix. But here he was, partying on a boat and even DJ-ing along with his good friend Martin Garrix.

Lando didn’t know whether people just didn’t care about him – seeing as the Netherlands were the home of one of the greatest drivers of the current generation – or if people actually didn’t know him. In any case, he was glad not to be disturbed by fans – even though he loved them – and be able to enjoy the day the same way everyone else was doing it: by partying, dancing, singing, and drinking.

Obviously, Lando was planning to be careful as he knew that his PR team would have his head if he did something stupid during his two-week break. But still, he was having fun like a typical twenty-four year old. He was having the time of his life. Dutch people definitely knew how to party on their national day, that’s for sure.

…..

A few hours later however, what everyone hadn’t been expecting was for Lando to end the day with bandages all over his face. As the surprise of him being in the Netherlands settled down after a while, pictures and videos stopped circulating around. Until fans all over the world were met with images of Lando with a bloody nose, a smile still on his face. People had no idea what had happened. No context had been given, only the speculation of Lando having drunk and partied too hard that he had hurt himself.

Fortunately for him, Lando had been able to count on you. Being a friend of a friend, you loosely knew Martin but had never really exchanged more than a few words with him. However, he was currently glad that the invitation to his boat party had managed to reach you as you were qualified to take care of Lando’s battle wound – his words. Being a nurse, and the only one with some medical knowledge on the boat, you had quickly reacted when people had started panicking after seeing Lando’s face starting to bleed.

To be honest, people had overreacted a bit. Because when you approached Lando to see the extent of the damage, you realised it was only a cut albeit the consequence of some glass. So although he wasn’t hurt very badly, you still suggested bringing him into the hospital where you worked. Obviously, Lando had refused at first as he pretended that everything was fine. He was. But just to be sure, you needed to give him a general check-up in a clean location as a random boat in Amsterdam wasn’t exactly the most hygienic place to patch someone up.

So after Martin also agreed to the idea, Lando had no choice but to listen to his friend and go with you. The Dutch told Lando that he would come get him later as he needed to bring his DJ equipment back home – he promised to be ready to give him a ride back from the hospital later on as he knew that Lando had a flight the next day. This is thus how you found yourself in a cab with none other than Formula One driver Lando Norris on the way to your workplace. Truth be told, you hadn’t expected to go there today. But you knew it was part of your job to be able to help anyone in need even if you were on your day off.

The ride had mostly been silent. Lando had been on his phone, probably texting a few people about his whereabouts, while you were focused on the next steps to do when you’d be arriving at the hospital. You were pleasantly surprised when Lando paid the driver without a second thought and told him to keep the change.

“I could’ve paid, you know. Thanks,” you told him as you entered the building.

“You’re taking care of me on what definitely seemed like your day off, so that’s the least I can do for you.” Lando smiled at you and even with the bandages around his face, he was still very good-looking.

“Still, I appreciate it. You can go wait in this room if that’s okay?” He nodded and you finished explaining what would happen next. “I just need to inform my manager I’m here, get some stuff for a small check-up, and then I’m all yours. I won’t be long.”

“Sounds perfect”, Lando replied with a grin.

True to your words, you were back in the room where you’d left the Brit less than ten minutes later. He noticed that you’d changed into your uniform – which you’d been lucky to have a spare here as your usual one was at your flat – and enjoyed the view of observing you in your element. Working in the medical field was your calling, and you didn’t see yourself anywhere else.

First, you removed the bandages that you’d wrapped around Lando’s face earlier before you cleaned up the small wound – properly this time, with adequate material. As Lando winced when you disinfected it, you apologised.

“Does it hurt much?” You asked.

“Not really”, he shrugged. “Just uncomfortable I guess.”

“Hmm, okay”, you nodded. “Tell me if there’s anything else at any point.”

Quickly finishing up, you were soon enough putting a band-aid on Lando’s nose. You debated offering to put a silly one originally designed for kids, but decided otherwise as you didn’t want to look weird for suggesting it. However, the driver had noticed your eyes drifting to them when you’d hesitated in which one to take, so he spoke up:

“You think you could actually give me one of those”, he wondered with a smile before adding. “The cute ones, there.”

When you saw that he was pointing at the Disney ones, you stiffled a laugh. You hadn’t expected him to directly ask for one himself, but you were kinda glad that he did. Amongst the different characters present, your choice was easily made.

“I guess that the Cars one caught your eye?” You raised an eyebrow, waiting to see if you were right.

“Bingo!” He laughed. “I’ll admit that Frozen was tempting but I gotta stay true to my roots.”

“Fair enough”, you chuckled. “Your job ain’t really much to do with building ice castles, or I’ve done my research wrong.”

“You looked me up?” Lando asked, the surprise obvious in his tone.

“Well, yeah?” You answered with a ‘duh’ tone as you gently put the Cars band-aid over the plain one you’d previously applied. “Even though the whole country supports Max and not many people care about the other drivers, I gotta know about the competition.”

“You think I’m competition to Max?”

“Of course! Anyone is: as long as Max isn’t the only driver racing on track, he has competition.”

Your explanation made Lando’s grin widen as he was glad to be considered in the same league as the Max Verstappen, especially by someone who lived in the Netherlands. To you, any other driver that had managed to be a part of the twenty that raced in Formula One was a good one – Lando included.

“He does have three more championship titles than me though”, Lando stated. “And God knows how many wins.”

“He’s had a good car for years,” you pointed out. “Your time will come, don’t worry. I can feel the papaya greatness for this year – though if I ever wear orange, it’s for Max.”

Not knowing what to reply to your words, Lando simply nodded while you put away the box of band-aids. You thought about the final steps of your check-up, and turned back to face the driver.

“Okay, so I’ll just put this on your finger to see your heart rate and then I’ll make you do a breathalyser if that’s alright with you?”

“Yeah, no problem. Do your job, don’t worry.”

“Great, thanks.” You carefully clipped the pulse oximeter on Lando’s finger before stepping away. “I'll be right back in a minute.”

“Take your time,” Lando replied. “I’m not going anywhere.”

When you left the room, the Brit let out the biggest sigh of his life. Oh God, he thought. It seemed like you hadn’t realised how close you’d been to Lando as you were only focused on doing your job, but he hadn’t been able to take his eyes away from you. He really hoped you hadn’t noticed anything, as the last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable at your workplace. Get a grip, Lando told himself while waiting for you to be back. Don’t fuck this up if you want a chance.

You came back into the room shortly after, a box in your hands – which Lando assumed to be the breathalyser. He knew he had drunk enough that he wouldn’t be allowed to drive, but he hoped he had sobered up enough after his trip to the hospital. After unboxing the breathalyser, you got close to Lando again and explained to him what he’d have to do.

“Nothing too complicated, don't worry. You’ll just have to exhale into this.” You showed him the object. “And I’ll tell you when to stop. Then, you’ll be good to go!”

Lando nodded in reply, even though he hadn’t really paid attention to the actual words you’d said. He had been more focused on your face and the way you’d gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face. He almost wished he’d been the one to do it, and he wondered if it was the remains of alcohol in his blood making him think that. He also wondered if he would still be attracted to you if he had met you while stone cold sober. But when you gave him a soft reassuring smile as you told him to be ready to blow into the breathalyser, he knew he would find you gorgeous no matter his state of mind.

What he didn’t know though, is if it was the alcohol or his attraction to you that was making his heart faster – both, to be honest. The result was the same: the machine was showing his heart rate quickening and Lando could perfectly hear it echoing in his head, which made his eyes widen at the thought that you would hear it too. Lando’s heart rate was actually the least of your worries as you were focused on the current task of measuring the level of alcohol in his blood, but it became the most important barely two seconds later when you heard the continuing beep that usually meant the lack of heartbeat.

“Your heart is going flatline!” You exclaimed in shock as you tried to quickly assess how Lando looked in order to find the cause. “Oh my God… oh my God, what the fuck is happening?!”

And while you were panicking, Lando realised that he had made a grave mistake. See, as he still wasn’t back to his normal state of mind, the driver thought that it was a wonderful idea to just remove the pulse oximeter from his finger so that you wouldn’t have noticed his heart rate speeding. But of course, you had immediately noticed the lack of constant beep from the machine and were currently still stressing – breathalyser completely forgotten.

Seeing your panicked state, Lando was now feeling extremely guilty and decided to come clean.

“I’m fine!” He was almost shouting. Hearing his voice made you stop in your tracks, and you looked at him with worry in your eyes. “Sorry”, he apologised. “I accidentally removed the thing, please calm down. I’m not dead.”

“Oh”, you could only answer. You felt awkward now. “That’s good, then.” You scratched your neck and nervously laughed. “It’s weird, it shouldn’t come off that easily unless it’s forcibly removed. Sorry if I gave you one that wasn’t properly working.”

And this was his last straw. Lando was now feeling even guiltier at your words, as you were going to blame yourself for using seemingly faulty equipment.

“Please don’t be mad, but… I-actually-removed-it-myself”, he said as quickly as he could.

“What?” You questioned with a tilt of your head.

“I removed the heart thingy myself because I didn’t want you to hear my heart rate.”

“Lando, that’s my job?”

“Yeah, but like…” He didn’t know what else to say, except for the truth – thank the alcohol for giving him the confidence to utter the next words. “I was just thinking about you, and you were looking super pretty while explaining stuff, and I wasn’t really paying attention to be honest, but then I felt like my heartbeat was going really fast, and you’d hear it, and you’d think I’m like weird, and–”

“Oh God, Lando calm down!” You put your hands on his shoulders so that he would look at you instead of the floor, and meeting your eyes silenced him. “You’re good, don’t explain yourself. I know that you’re not completely sober yet so your mind might make you do weird things. I’m just glad you’re alright and not suddenly a victim of a heart attack.”

“I don’t want you to see me as a crazy drunk guy right now!” He retorted, trying to clear his name. “Even sober, I’d think the same. Maybe not do the same stupid shit though…” He muttered the last sentence.

Silence now filled the room as you removed your hands from Lando and put them in your pockets before sighing. You tried to assess the situation and process his words. You’d had your fair share of people complimenting you in your workplace so Lando’s feelings weren’t that unusual, but it was still rare to end up in this type of situation. You thought for a minute about what to do while Lando stayed quiet. He was scared of dumb words leaving his mouth, so he didn’t want to take any more risks.

“Tell you what”, you caught his attention. “We finish this up, I clear you free to go, and maybe we can start over when you’re not my patient anymore. Sounds good?”

Still not trusting his words, Lando simply nodded. You then kept going with the last steps of your check-up before announcing to Lando that he was discharged. He had surprisingly sobered up quicker than you would’ve thought – maybe because of the heart rate incident – and his alcohol level wasn’t as high as you’d imagined it to be.

You walked him back to the entrance hall and asked him if Martin was here to get him. He briefly checked his phone and noticed a couple texts from the Dutch that were notifying him of his arrival in a few minutes. You therefore decided to wait with Lando, having all the time in the world – it was still your day off and you knew that the hospital wasn’t understaffed today, so there was no need for you to stay and give a hand.

As you were waiting in an excruciatingly awkward silence, Lando chose to man up and clear the previous situation up.

“I still think you’re beautiful,” he stated. “And I’d love to get to know you,” he added. “I know I’m not fully sober yet, but I’m almost there and my thoughts haven’t changed.”

“That’s good to know”.

“Good as in positive for me to shoot my shot?” Lando wondered with a nervous smile.

“You can try, I think your chances of success are pretty high right now.”

“Great.” His grin widened, and you couldn’t help thinking about how he was currently the beautiful one. “So, can we go out together one day? I know this great restaurant that my wonderful local friends told me about.”

“That’d be my pleasure”, you replied.

“When do you finish work?” He asked, even though he knew the answer.

“I’m actually done…” You feigned to analyse the time on your watch. “Right now. What a coincidence!”

“Coincidence indeed”, Lando agreed. He then took out his phone and gave it to you. “I’ll text you the location?”

“Sure”, you nodded. “Maybe not a full meal tonight, but I’m still down for a drink and snacks.”

“Works for me. Raincheck for a proper date then?”

“Come back for it once you have a race win under your belt”, you challenged.

“Deal”, he accepted. “I have really good motivation.”

“Tell you what, you can also get a wish if it’s the next race that you win.”

“A wish? Anything?” You nodded and Lando thought about ideas. “Kiss on the first date?”

“Alright, you’re on!” You sealed the deal with a handshake, a playful glint in your eyes.

Merely a couple seconds later, Martin was pulling up in front of the hospital which was yours and Lando’s cue to go your separate ways before meeting soon again.

…..

A week later following your semi-date with Lando, you were now watching him celebrate his first win on the top step of the podium in Miami. You couldn’t be prouder of him, and your first thought was to text him as soon as you saw him go back to his garage. You hoped that he’d have access to his phone soon enough and quickly drafted a message to congratulate him. Right before you sent it, your wish – and eventually his in the process – seemed to have been granted.

Flying back to you next weekend before imola

I’m expecting a welcome kiss👀

You chuckled at his texts, a blush appearing on your cheeks as you thought about how he was still serious about you, and deleted your initial message before sending a new one.

Wouldn’t have it any other way

Congratulations race winner! Can’t wait for the next ones, I knew your time was coming🧡

If Lando never imagined that being hurt could lead to him bagging a pretty nurse and getting his first Formula One win, he was now thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get a small wound before each race if it meant that you would take care of him and that he’d be lifting the winner’s trophy afterwards.

..........

Hope y'all liked this ^^ idk if it's common knowledge on here but I'm a HUGE 5sos fan and when i recently heard flatline after a while, i knew i had to write smth f1 related for this song (esp the chorus)

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated if you enjoy my writing<3 it means a lot to me and i love knowing what people think - apart from my bestie who's often my #1 fan haha

See you next time, take care🤍

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #f1 #formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #lando norris x you #f1 x you #formula 1 x you #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 x you

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totalswag · 2 days ago

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Hey girl so I was wanting more dad drew and I was wondering if you could do something like where Tatum is like a teenager and her personality is a lot like her moms which causes them to buttheads sometimes, and in one argument Tatum says some hurtful thing to her mom making her mom cry so drew had to have a talk with her. You can add Leo to idk I was just kinda thinking but besides the point I love your work and I think your amazing keep up the great work girl love ya

teen tension ⎯ DREW STARKEY

authors note stop i miss writing dad!drew, one of my favorites. tatum as a teenager is a mixture of both parents. thank you so much for the kind words it really means a lot. happy new year everyone, i hope you all had a fun and safe night <3

taglist ⤕ if you would like to be notified every time i post you will type in your username then be all set to go.

masterlist

summary tatum, your oldest, says a few hurtful words to you that make you cry. drew has a conversation with tatum about what she did to you.

warning(s) arguments, crying, child + parent arguing.

Tatum is very much like you when you were a teenager. Moments during the week where you two buttheads about certain things that are typical for a mom and daughters to "argue" about.

However, tonight took a turn for the worse. Everyone was sitting at the dinner table finishing up dinner. It had been a long day at work for Drew and you been home cleaning the house.

Leo was talking about how his day went—recently, Leo, has gotten into basketball and wanted to try out for the school. Drew and you were excited to hear the news and encouraged Leo to try out.

"Tatum, could you kindly get off your phone? "Your brother is talking," you say aloud, attracting her attention as you point to Leo, who has stopped talking.

Tatum rolls her eyes and sets her phone on the table beside her dish. "You can put it on the counter please."

"Why can't I leave it next to me?" She gives you an attitude, "We are sitting at the dinner table eating, and none of us have our phones next to us," your tone remains casual but firm.

"Leo can still talk and I won't be on my phone" crossing her arms over her chest, not bothering to move her phone from the table.

Before Tatum can finish speaking, Drew cuts her off with a clear and serious voice and says, "Tatum, watch your tone and listen to your mom."

Tatum groans loudly, pushes her chair out, picks up her phone, walks to the kitchen, and puts it down after rolling her eyes in frustration.

"There look you happy mom?" Tatum mumbles "so dumb" under her breath as she emphasizes with her palms raised.

You hear her say, "It's not stupid, Tatum." We've had this regulation in place for a very long time, so I don't see why everyone is acting this way—" Tatum slams her hand on the table and interrupts you in the middle of your statement.

"Please, Mom, just shut up already. I'm tired of you being irritating these past few days—" "Tatum Ann Starkey you will not speak to your mom like that, ever!" Drew abruptly interrupts her, throwing his fist on the table, causing everyone to jump. He gestures for her to "go up to your room now," and Tatum gives him a terrified face.

The corners of your eyes well up with tears. Leo comes running to you and gives you utter comfort. You are wondering why Tatum has suddenly started acting this way.

Leo hugs you close to him and says in your ear, "You are the best mom ever, mom. You did nothing wrong."

"Thank you baby."

"Leo, while I comfort your mother, could you please return the little condiments to their proper places? "Thank you, buddy," Drew says to Leo, who nods and follows instructions.

"Are you okay baby?" Drew asks, crouching down and placing both hands on your knees, looking at you with concern.

"I'm fine, just confused as to why she's acting this way towards me," you say gently, sniffling.

Drew and you begin discussing what has just occurred. Drew was not pleased with Tatum's actions toward you, her mother. You do so lot for this family, and Tatum does not need to vent her frustration on you.

Drew soothed you in every manner conceivable, making you feel more at peace about yourself—he's the best thing that has ever happened to you. The sound of his words made you relax, and tears streamed down your cheeks.

"I'm gonna have a talk with her upstairs," he pauses, "I love you."

You give him a soft smile, pulling the front strained away from your face—leaning forward in your chair, thinking what just happened. So many thoughts running through your head.

Drew knocked on Tatum's bedroom door, and you knew he was going to give her a big lecture on how to communicate with your parents. You've discussed this with both of your children numerous times.

Leo walks into the living room with a bowl of ice cream for himself and you—he's always been a momma's boy. Leo brings you the bowl and takes a seat next to you on the couch. "Thank you, Leo," you say, throwing your free arm around him and drawing him into a side embrace.

"Of course mom, I love you."

After five minutes, Tatum and Drew come downstairs. Drew muttered something to Tatum before elbowing her toward you. Leo moves from the couch to wherever Drew is in the home.

As she settles on the couch beside you, Tatum sighs—crisscross apple sauce. "Mom I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you at the dinner table," she says after a little pause. "I shouldn't spoken to you like that."

You take in Tatum's words, "I forgive you, Tatum. What you said to me really hurt," Tatum lets a tear fall from her cheek, "be cautious with your words, darling, I love you," taking her in for a loving, lengthy hug.

You and Tatum unwind in each other's arms while letting the tears flow. Tatum reiterated the same words to you: "I love you, mom, and I apologize." Regardless of how you argue, you will always adore your children.

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its-a-me-mango · 11 hours ago

Text

THANK YOU ALL FOR AN AMAZING YEAR! HERE'S TO MANY MORE!

Alllright, final thing to close off today, and what better than with a great big THANK YOU to everyone for sticking with me for a whole year! Regardless of if you’ve been around since I first joined or if you only just followed me today, thank you so much for your support of me and my work. Knowing there are so many fantastic and wonderful individuals who all enjoy what I make is just indescribable, I get to wake up and enjoy creating things I love for the series I love so dearly all while so many amazing people enjoy what I make too. I really can’t put into words how thankful I am for everyone who follows me but genuinely from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you all for an amazing year and here’s hoping for many more to come!

Now, I do have a few special dedications to a few certain individuals, if I didn’t get the chance to include you PLEASE don’t think that I don’t value you in any way! There were so many cool and talented people that I wanted to thank but I simply didn’t have time to do so! You are all so important to me and it does kill me a little that I can’t thank everyone, but I am just one guy at the end of the day so again please don’t take it personally, I am still so thankful for everyone and I want you to know this. <3

ANYWAY LONG ASS BLOCK OF TEXT UNDER THE READ MORE

So, in no order in particular

@lizaluvsthis @shygirl4991 @b-r-i-n-g-x - I’m putting you all together as one because I always see you guys working as a group so it feels wrong to split you guys up lol. You were all some of the first people I ever saw in the SMG4 fandom and your contributions inspired me so much to make my own stuff too! Everything you guys make always has so much heart and soul put into it, Brewing Romance, Split into 3’s, Gay Ogres, they’re all some of the first projects I remember seeing and for that I wanna thank you guys for motivating me to make and create my own things within this fandom! Even if you guys aren’t as active now or have moved on from those projects, I still hold them dear to me so keep making and creating because you guys are all so amazing at it! <3

@mothsbakery - Moth my beloved friend, I don’t know where to start, when I first got into SMG4, I was so worried about sharing it with my friends because I was worried it would somehow get turned against me in some way (blame that damn trauma lol), so having you take a passing interest in it was such a major relief to me. I’m so glad I’ve been able to sit down with you and watch the few episodes that we have because they’ve been so much fun! I’m so glad that we’re friends even after all these years. I know I’m not always the best at keeping in touch but I do genuinely appreciate your friendship and all that we’ve done together. Please keep making and creating and enjoying what you love, seeing you come to my DM’s with your newest musical piece is always such a joy to listen to and it’s been so wonderful to watch you improve over the years! Keep being amazing Moth, I’ll chat to you soon I promise! <3

@strange0-0storm - STOOOORM!!! (POINTING AT YOU POINTING AT YOU) FREAK!!!!/J I’m kidding lol, Storm I am so glad I’ve gotten the chance to talk with you, even if it's brief, you are so fun to talk to that I can’t wait to get the chance to chat with you again about OC’s or just anything really! Your work is always so yummy, whether it's SMG4, Gravity Falls, Popee The Performer, and more, your art is always just so full of character and it just makes me wanna keep doing what I’m doing and it helps me not worry about branching out at some point to something else. No matter what I will always come back to your work because it's so amazing and it’s even better knowing it’s made but such an equally amazing person, stay awesome Storm! (also RhythmDoctor 4 life they should kiss and make out more JHBBSGHBSGH) <3

@bluesbox - Blue! Dude you are so freaking cool I cannot put it into words, not only is your work fantastic and such a joy to interact with, but you’re also so dedicated to characters lore and interactions that I can’t help but wanna be just like that! I’ll never forget when you first dropped the TSB lore presentation that shit was SO WILD, knowing there's someone who's so invested in other peoples OC’s (including my own!) to such an extent is honestly so amazing, and it really pushes me to invest more time into my own work! Knowing there’s someone out there who genuinely takes so much interest in it is so uplifting, so thank you for always wanting to know more about what I make as well as everyone else, we need more amazing people like you Blue, keep being you! (also PS, the way you give Mango glasses is probably my favourite thing someone has given him, it makes me so happy to see every time, don’t tell anyone shhhhh) <3

@libbytwq - LIBBY, LIBBY OMG I don’t think I’ve ever met another SMG4 fan who just gets the same sense of humor as me so well, I love being terminally on Tumblr and having someone else who is also terminally on Tumblr, it’s so refreshing lmao! Lore not only are you an amazing person to talk to, you are also so insanely talented to match, all of your work has so much charm and passion put into it that I can just sense it with every piece, I always want to know more with your characters like I NEED the full SMGL:E lore or else I will explode and die, that’s how good you are at getting people invested in your work! You’re so great at creating interesting and engaging characters/stories that it motivates me so much with my own work. You have so much love for what you do it’s so wonderful to see, please keep creating forever and always because your work is such an absolute joy to see. I love getting the chance to chat with you so much and I can’t wait to chat with you again, thank you for being such an amazing friend Libby! <3

@hamlos - Hamlos, your work is truly incredible. I really can’t express it enough, it’s so dynamic and flexible in such a beautiful way, everything you make is just so amazing and that's just talking about your art itself, the characters you have are so interesting I always want to know more about them, especially Cardiac I seriously love him so much and having him paired with Mango is so wonderful, they really go together so well! I’ve never had anyone go so crazy (positive) over my characters before and It’s so amazing to see, every time you come to me with your amazing work it’s always such a nice thing to see! I know I am not always the best at responding but I do always see and read everything you send me and it always leaves me with a big smile on my face. Even if you’re not super into SMG4 right now, thank you for all that you’ve done and all that you’ve made for me, HeartBeet will always have a special place in my heart and I hope it does for you too, they are gay after all lol. <3

@neo91502 @hexsie @aquaproductions - Grouping you all together even though you all couldn’t be more unique and individual, every single one of you is so special and amazing to talk to, I legit get so excited any time one of you joins a VC with me because all of you are so fun to hang out with for so many reasons! Neo omg you are honestly such a nice person to chat to and be around, you’re always so fun to hang out with and you’ve convinced me to sit down one day and listen to Epic the Musical because every time you go crazy over the word Epic, I can’t help but find it so cute lol. Nova your obsession with Hex3 is so sweet and I’m genuinely glad you’re having so much fun with it, seeing you go on rambling about your OC’s will always be such a joy to see and you know what yes one day I will draw Hex3 just for you, gimme a second though (dies first /j). And Aqua, I had no idea how much of a sweetheart you were to talk to, you are honestly so cool and I’m so glad to have you in my DM’s sending me amazing fanart that you know I’ll like, thank you so much for being so awesome and I’m giving you platonic smooches right back at ya so watch out!!! All of you are again so amazing and I can’t wait to keep chatting with all of you! <3

MY BELOVED WHO SHAN’T BE NAMED BUT I KNOW YOU’RE READING THIS!!! - Hai babe, listen, I can’t believe the whole time you’ve been dating me I’ve been an SMG4 fan, that must be so embarrassing to you lol /j but thank you so much forever and always for sticking with me. You are truly the light of my life, I treasure every moment we spend together and I am waiting for the future to come so that I can spend it with you forever and always. Thank you for not only indulging in my interests with me, but for enjoying me for who I am, everytime you call me cute for getting giddy over SMG4 it honestly makes my heart flutter and it reminds me of why I love you so much, I wouldn’t be who I am without you and I hope you can say the same thing for me. I cannot wait to get the chance to see you again in person, I need to kiss you sloppy style soooooo bad it's making me bark and growl grrr grrr bARK BARK BARK anyway I love you so much and I always will. (I will forever kiss you for getting me Smug I can’t believe you got him, he’s like a fucked up and evil son to me) <3

@ominus-potato @theartistisme43 @coralalala64 - Grouping you all together even though I have different things to say about all of you, but regardless, all of you are such amazingly talented people that I’d love to get to chat with you all properly one day, even if I’ve talked with you guys a bit it’s not enough! I’d love to get to know you guys better at some point lol. Ominus your work is just so good I can’t help but feel happy anytime I see it. I promise one day we will meet at a convention, I’m so mad I missed you once I won’t let it happen again! Cantro, your work is incredible!!! Every time I see it I’m so amazed with what you’ve made that it just gets me excited to see what else you can create, I am manifesting with all my strength that if you do ever decide to apply as a SMG4 machinima artist, that you get it because god damn you deserve it! And Coral, THE CREATURE CREATOR!!! I love your lil creatures so much, and OMG you have to teach me how to do such amazing pencil work, your work always inspires me so much and I’m so glad I’ve gotten the chance to chat with you a lil, your gif collection is truly frightening but in the best way possible. Again all of you are so amazing so please keep doing what you’re best at! <3

@tiredsmashbros - Tomm, Mr Tiredsmashbros, holy shit where do I even start with you. First of all, I would probably not be thanking half the people in this piece if not for you, I know how scary setting up a server was for you but I will forever be so thankful that you did. Finally getting the chance to chat with not only you, but so many amazing people in the SMG4 fandom has been an absolute joy and I am forever thankful for you for creating such an open and accepting space, you and Radiant are seriously so awesome for all the work you’ve put into that place. It’s from your server that i’ve learnt how wonderful and generous you are as a person, I really cannot think of anyone kinder than you Tomm, the way you always have an essay planned for every piece of fanart you get, from just your overall positive attitude, I am so glad I’ve finally gotten the chance to meet you after just being a fan of your work for so long. Your work has been such an inspiration to me and you’ve always been someone I wanted to chat with and the fact that I am now is!!! Crazy!!! I can’t believe you were scared of me at one point lol. Anyway thank you Tomm for being such a fantastic friend overall, I need to know TSB’s lore right now, can you whisper it to me I promise I’ll keep it a secret, regardless stay awesome dude, you deserve nothing but joy and happiness forever and always. Qwah Tuh (also Burgerfruit beloved, they should get weirder /j) <3

@doodledev1l - Doodle!!!!! Okay I know this sounds weird but genuinely finding another British SMG4 fan has been so refreshing, not only that but you’re super fun to talk to and be around so it’s even better! Getting the chance to hang out and chat with you is always so fun, I love getting to hear what you’re working on for uni and I always hope that it goes well for you, I know how stressful it can be lol. Regardless, I know you’ll do amazing because I’ve seen how dedicated and talented you are when it comes to your work, again I hope the rest of uni goes well for you because you deserve it, we gotta end your bad luck streak somehow lol. Thank you for being such an amazing person to chat and hang out with, keep up the amazing work dude, I’ll get you a tescos meal deal one day I promise. <3

PHEW, THAT’S EVERYONE, again thank you all so much for sticking by my side for a year! Doesn’t matter what time you showed up, I will always be thankful to know all of you, keep being awesome I love you all. I die now

Mango <3

#smg4 #mango art #smg4oc: mango #im... not tagging everyone lol #thank you all for everything. this year has been so amazing and I cannot wait for what comes next #I'm still in love with SMG4 i'm not quitting anytime soon lol

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madamechrissy · 1 day ago

Text

Keep This Low Key

💜 Pairings: Choso x F!reader Rating: Explicit- MDNI

💜 Contents/Warnings: Very emotional at first, but then it lightens up and gets sweet. Light angst, heavy at the beginning, forgiveness and trying for each other, a little jealousy and hurt, lots of kissing, fingering, oral (f recieving), lots of sexual tension and feelings

💜 Word Count: this chap - 10k (long one)

💜 Summary: You have been Choso's best friend for years, and one night he has a date with Yuki, his girlfriend, while you have a date with Ino, your boyfriend, only for them both to break up with you at the same time! You all think of calling each other, but run right into each other. Choso brings you home since you didn't even have your car, and you two are crying over a couple beers and a silly movie, only to have a sudden idea. Why not say fuck dating, fuck heartbreak, and just fuck each other?

No drama, no mess, no upset, and you two are such good friends, nothing can go wrong, right? The only agreement is no feelings, and if you all find a s/o, you'll end things. But the moment Choso opens his heart to you, and the moment you start falling, things get messy, as you realize he's the best you've had, and you're falling hard. Will you all stay friends, become more, or will everything blow up?

✨️Comments and reblogs appreciated if you enjoy- A/N- I attempt to write a song, I am sure I failed be nice abt it lol! ✨️

Chapter Four 💜 Masterlist 💜 Playlist 💜

Chapter Five

It has been two weeks since you spoke or saw Choso. He finally stopped texting and calling a few days ago, finally stopped showing up at your work every morning with that cup of coffee that you asked your coworkers to take instead. You don't even look or respond to him, it's too far gone, it's too much.

You don't respond to Satoru either, he was clearly there for fun, which is fine but you can't believe what you've done. After being so set on sex being this end all be all, Ino’s dumping you so soon after clearly fucked you up, and hopping in bed with Choso had been the biggest mistake.

You are out with Utahime at the club, dancing together and giggling, enjoying her so much, even as you miss Choso like you live and breathe. It's all too much, and you don't know if you can ever repair what has happened, to undo the tangled mess you both had become.

You're not putting fault all on him, but you're still hurt by him. You didn't go to his concert, you hate yourself for that, but it would hurt too much to see. You sent good luck necklaces to the three of them with a note saying you were sick (you especially hate to let the boys down too) but there's not much hope for it, not when you can't stomach facing him.

If you never kissed him, you maybe could have lived your life just fine, if you never had him look at you that way, if you never slept in his arms, you could have said it was friendship. But now, even your strong, fourteen year friendship is hopelessly gone.

Take a shot.

Dance.

Laugh

Take a shot.

Take a selfie with Utahime.

Dance more.

Laugh.

Hollow laughter, laughter that rings just wrong, your eyes aren't as bright when you look in the mirror, but you think you can puzzle together the pieces.

Men flirt.

You ignore it.

Have a drink now.

Dance under the strobe lights.

Laugh.

You're almost human, or at least you're pretending to be, and it almost works, buzzed off your ass and dancing with her helps, giggling as you all walk out in your heels to your ride helps. Taking more selfies and giggling at the reacting on Insta helps, you feel good…

Well, almost.

Choso haunts all of your damn thoughts, it’s like you can’t even imagine things before him, like this gaping hole in your chest. You are tipsy when you get home, images flash as you walk through the door, Choso holding you against it, him on his knees in front of you. Then more images of Satoru, which make you sick.

You never thought actually doing something with the guy you had it bad for since forever would bring you down so badly, it made everything snap into place, things that didn’t make any sense in your mind. It was never just sex with Choso, not from the moment he kissed you and called you beautiful, because you know what ‘just sex’ is, Choso was beyond it.

Now there was nothing left between you.

Choso hearts your pictures, and something shifts, something almost makes you sick about it, not talking to him. You crave to just forgive and forget, to act like this friendship is fixable, to act unbothered, but you can’t just go back now. The decision was made when he first kissed you on that couch, when his tongue ring clicked on your teeth, when his big hands brushed against your waist.

You see his IG is Amber free, and hers is Choso free. You don't know what that means but you can't bring yourself to care anymore, you'd tried to make any sense of any of this and have failed. When you think too much about it, about your decisions, you sob so hard your eyes burn, your cheeks sticky.

You wash your face, put your hair up into a bun, you go back to all of your routines, without Cho Bear things don't really bring you the same joy, but finally you think you can let some of the heartache mend. Snatching up a book and your favorite plush, you snuggle on the couch, buzzed and dizzy. Luckily Satoru doesn't bother you, just a dick pic here and there, you roll your eyes at him.

He was good at what he did, fuck he was real good, but it was not what you wanted, it was what you thought you had to do, to prove something to yourself, that you were inexperienced and overthinking it. But, you were wrong. Choso pushes you to your worst, and you just can't let it continue, you can’t be that girl.

Choso calls, you go to hang up and accidentally hit answer, cursing quietly, hearing the hope in his voice as he says your name.

“What is it?” You ask, tone soft but cold, you haven't talked and don't want to.

“I know you hate me, and I don't blame you. You should.” You tear up as you hear his voice breaking.

“I don't hate you, I just can't be in your life. I'm sorry.” You sniffle, hiccuping on a cry when you set your book down.

“Will we ever be friends again?”

“I don't think so, but it's not all your fault. We both fucked up.” Choso sighs over the phone, you imagine him in your mind's eye. Sexy and shirtless maybe? Low hanging sweats? Is his hair loose and long?

“I haven't talked to Amber. I never will again.” You blink now.

“It doesn't matter.”

“It does! It does. What I did was horrible to you.”

“It's over now. Don't dwell on this. I have to go.”

“Please, please… anything I could do to make you smile again. I hate that I caused this.” You sigh shakily as you hear his crying over the phone. It almost gets to you.

“I'm okay, I promise. Choso I'll always care, I'll always be rooting for you-”

“Please, please… please forgive me.”

“I do. I'm not angry. I'm sad.” You cover your face, choking on your sobs as he does. “I don't hate you not one bit.”

“I hate myself.” You shake your head and can't stop the sobs from wracking your body.

“I know that feeling well.” You both take a breath, both hating what you've lost. “But I promise I don’t hate you, I couldn’t. Take care, please.” Your voice is just a whisper, but he hears you.

“Please, anything, I will do anything, let me make it up. Let me fix it!? I know I'm stupid, I know I was wrong. Please.” His heartbreak in his voice makes it crack over the phone, you’re devastated then.

“Just let it go, okay? Let it go.”

“I don’t want to let you go. I-”

“Good night.” You hang up quickly, cutting off whatever words could wreck your resolve, your hands violently shaking, you press them between your thighs, staring as the phone rings.

Cho Bear.

Will you miss him forever?

*****

It’s been three weeks since you last spoke to Choso now, he quit calling finally, it’s sort of like it was when you were with Ino, when you two couldn’t keep your friendship, but it’s worse because you know what you could have. God, to have even been able to go on a date with him? To imagine building something so beautiful, but instead you’ve ruined it all.

You’re shocked when Megumi and Yuuji are knocking on your door, you stand there still when Yuuji barrels you with a big hug. You sigh, hugging him back, Megumi snakes an arm around you after as well, you almost tear up a bit, thinking of how close all four of you have been so long.

“I missed you two.” You say softly, shutting the door then. “What brings you all over here?”

Yuuji swipes a hand through his pastel locks. “What did Cho do so bad that it’s been three weeks of you ignoring him?”

“Yuuji…” Megumi says with a sigh, dark eyes looking at you seriously. “What he means to say is Choso misses you, bad.”

“He’s so depressed he won’t even play.” You blink at that, looking away then.

“Won’t play? When has Choso not played?”

“He won’t even leave his room aside from work.” Megumi says, your heart breaks further and further.

“I… we can’t be friends. I’m sorry, you two.”

“What, why!? You’ve been friends almost my entire life? As long as I can remember.”

“Yuuji…”

“Did you two…” Megumi trails off, you blush furiously then. “Oh.”

“Oh what? Did what?” Yuuji’s voice annoys Megumi clearly then.

“Tch, just stop.” He looks at you now, seriously. “Is it that bad?”

You nod quietly, sighing and shutting your eyes. “He wouldn’t wanna see me anyway.”

“That’s not true, not at all. Please, just come over, you don’t even have to hang out with him, just let him see you.” Yuuji begs, yanking on her hand now, pulling you towards him so his hands can rest on your shoulders. “You’re his best friend in the world, you can’t just not be one anymore.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Your tears start running before you can stop them, Yuuji frowns, Megumi brushes a hand up and down your back. “I don’t think me and Cho can fix it.”

“So start new.” Megumi’s voice stuns you. “Start fresh, whatever happened you two can get over it. Have you never had problems, fights?”

“Of course we have. I… I’m scared to even face him.” You cover your face and start crying then, letting the weeks of despair fall out with tears as they comfort you. “Guys I can’t.”

“Just spend time with all of us. I know it would brighten his day, you don’t know how bad it is.” Yuuji’s voice breaks just a bit, and then you realize, Choso must be hurting as much as you are.

“Let me get myself together and I’ll head over.” You say with a small smile, emotional as you think of seeing him again.

Could you all ever go back to being friends, when you are so in love with him… love, yes.

Love.

You’re hopelessly in love with your former best friend, how would you play it casual, how could you even face him?

*****

Choso can’t stand not seeing you, not hearing your voice or your little laugh, god he misses your scent, your presence, your everything. Even if he couldn’t see you, he used to swing by and give you that coffee, and you turned every cup down, not even acknowledging him. The heartbreaking call last week had him finally giving up, realizing he had done too much damage.

How could he hurt you like this?

He thinks back now, to all the signals you gave, to all the clues where he has been so clueless. Choso never got attention from girls, a shy guy, a nerdy guy, it’s been the past couple of years he’s gotten popular with his band. He didn’t realize Amber was that insane over him so quickly, and even so, he saw that hurt on your face before the incident in the car.

He told you one thing but did another, and of course you’re done with him, of course you probably went home with Gojo that night, how could he blame you? There you were, painting things clearly, and here he was, not understanding a thing you meant, like the words couldn’t compute, he couldn’t fathom you felt that way.

Choso has barely left his home for the past three weeks, but for the past week he has barely left his room, guitars unplayed, notebooks left unwritten and sprawled all around his room. He can barely eat or think of anything but you, aching to call you, to see you, but he knows he can’t anymore, he knows he’d just be doing more damage, how could he be so foolish?

The doors open of his room and he grimaces then, as his little brother keeps trying to energetically get him out of the house, to give him all this hope that you two could make up, as if it’s even possible. He blinks and covers his face with his plaid blanket.

“Go away.”

“Cho?” He hears your voice then, making him jump up out of bed, sheets all rumpled and a mess, thinking he’s dreaming.

But you’re there.

You’re here.

Your eyes look just a little puffy, your lips trembling as you see him, he tries to smooth his hair, knowing he probably looks terrible, he hasn’t even showered in days he’s just rotted away. Choso struggles to pull himself together, walking towards you then, and he sees it, you’re trembling, as if you can’t even handle this, seeing him again.

But he was wrong.

When you see him like this, a whole mess and so depressed, it destroys your heart, you can’t take it, even as much as you both had messed up here, he was your closest friend in the world. He was always by your side through your heartbreaks, and you were by his side, and now? You were both suffering alone, and for what, for the fear of not forgiving each other?

Choso doesn’t even know what you’ve done, he doesn’t know you were just as bad as him, maybe worse. No, you two don’t date, but it felt wrong, what both of you did, especially in your heart, you didn’t do it for fun, you did it for some petty sense of revenge, and now it’s hard to face him, but you do. You face your best friend who looks like a mess, with his eyes glimmering with tears.

It’s quiet then, Megumi clears his throat. “Let’s give you both a minute, maybe you can make him shower?”

Yuuji nods. “Please do.”

They leave, shutting the door to Choso’s room, a room the last time you were in that he had sex with you, but was it sex? Or did he make love to you?

How he’d stared into your eyes, cupped your face so gently, how he’d asked every moment if things felt good, if you were okay. The memories make you ache, and not just physically, they make you ache for all of him, for his sweet smile again, for him to just hold you in his arms. You’re just standing there, and so is he, you both open your mouths, then shut them.

He’s clenching his fists, stepping closer now, terrified you’ll just run away, but you don’t. You stay there, looking at him, as he feels emotions in his throat, as the tears begin to fall. He steps a little closer, and you let him, giving him the silent go ahead to approach you further, your chest rising and falling with your breaths as they come faster and faster.

Another step, and your boots are toe to toe with his bare feet, and Choso is looking down at you, his hands hovering just above your shoulders, as if he’s scared to touch you. You feel the sobs building in your chest now, not a word is spoken, but seeing your best friend who you love in tears, along with your own regrets makes you break apart.

“You’re here.” He says your name then, and you break into tears when he pulls you against him for a hug, those tight ones in his strong arms you’ve loved forever, you feel so safe, so right. He’s stroking your hair, pressing you against his chest as your arms wrap his chest. “I didn’t know if I’d… if I’d… see you…”

He’s sobbing out his words, you look up through your tears, seeing him, his stubble, his dark circles as you sniffle. “I’m here, Cho.”

“Feel like I’m dreaming of you.” He squeezes you so tightly, but you crave it, you love it, against him finally.

The room is quiet, aside from both of you quietly crying, sniffling and laughing softly when you look at each other. “You do need a bath, gosh.”

“Hush.” He’s smiling, that heartbreakingly sweet smile you’ve come to love, but you have to pull back a bit, taking a breath, eyes fluttering shut when he cups your face, like you’re precious. “I missed your pretty face.”

“Did you?” You tease softly, opening your eyes, burning from tears.

“I’m so sorry for everything, I am sorry I didn’t listen, that I hurt you.” You feel almost sick now, shaking your head. “I fucked it all up, I did-”

“We both did. I have to tell you something.” He nods then, shoving aside a bunch of things to clear you a seat in his gaming chair, pulling you by it, arms on either side of you as he sits on the bed.

“Anything.”

You take a breath, hoping it will help you, but you feel sick thinking of it. “I was intimate with Gojo.”

Choso blinks long lashes, frowning before nodding. “I figured, that night maybe you slept with him?” He tries to hide the hurt in his voice, but fails.

“I didn’t have sex but… um… oral.” You feel like sinking into the goddamn carpet below you, Choso clears his throat, looking away for a moment.

“I figured so, but was it because you wanted to? Was it because he’s Gojo, an old fling? Was it… for fun? Or… was it because I pushed you there?” His heartbreak is so clear it affects you physically, you’re shifting in the seat, fiddling with your hair, sighing nervously.

“It was my decision, but it was based on seeing her with you, it hurt so bad, but it’s no excuse. I acted on impulse and felt awful.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t feel bad, please.”

“Cho I… we…”

“It’s because of me.”

“It’s not!”

“You always try to defend me, even when I’m wrong, and I was so wrong here. You tried to tell me.”

You’re nodding through more tears, he rests his forehead on yours, as you both take shaky breaths. “I did try to tell you, but now I don’t know what to do, how can we go back to how it was?”

“I don’t know but I’ll do anything, be anything for you.” Your eyes lock, his a glittering violet, dark sooty lashes wet and spiky over them.

“Maybe we should start new?” You ask softly.

“As friends?”

“I don’t know, maybe something else.” Your brace yourself for impact, but his next words fill you with so much hope.

“How about… we go on a date.”

“A date?” You blink in confusion.

“A date, me and you, I am asking you on a date. A real one, a proper one, and we get to know each other as… maybe more.” Your heart races then, you feel it, the giddiness at the thought, but then the guilt.

“You wanna date me? After what I did?” Your voice is breaking, you’re no better than him really, maybe you’re worse? What he did casually, you did in retaliation.

“Oh, sweetie…” He brushes your hair back gently, it feels so good, so perfect then, in his room, with his touch. “You did nothing wrong to me, I think it felt wrong for you though?”

“It felt wrong, so wrong. I hate myself for it.” You’re just a breath away from his lips, but both of you hold that inch apart, you bite your lower lip, his eyes dart to it, but he stays that distance.

“What you did makes sense, I’m just sorry I made you feel you had to. I don’t want games, or hurting each other anymore, please. Let’s just have a date, and if you like me, we’ll do another.” You giggle then, the sound makes his heart swell, it makes him so fucking happy, to see how it lights up your face, even as he brushes tears away, thumbs with faded black polish barely on.

“So we’re going to take things slow?” You whisper, hands gliding up his chest, making him tense then.

“Yes, you deserve slow, you deserve to be treated right, and to choose what you want. If it’s me or not, I think we should try, what’s here, this connection? It’s…”

“Epic.” He smiles then, nodding, thumb brushing against your jaw now.

“I’d die to kiss you but I’d like to earn it, please.”

“It better be something nice, now. And you’re paying.” He grins, you’re wiping his tears now, running your hand through his dark messy locks.

“I’ll pay, don’t worry. Will you wear something that shows off that perfect body of yours?”

“I could be persuaded to. But you’ll be a gentleman.”

He nods, holding your little hand over his chest. “I will be.”

You feel it, the flutters in your tummy, at the thought of something like this, it seems so silly, but you’re giddy, hopeful. “So we’re… gonna go on a date.”

“Tonight.”

“You absolutely need to shower then, I can’t with all this.” You tease, he pulls you against him tightly, kissing your cheek, your temple, hugging you just so, you feel his heartbeat on your cheek.

“I wish you could get in there, fuck I miss every bit of you.” He exhales, you feel his words hit your core, you’re aching now, clinging to him.

“I miss it too.” You look back up now at him, smiling as you both just sit there, quietly. “I’m sorry Choso.”

“I’m sorry, angel. So sorry.” You nod, trying to pull yourself together then, brushing your cheeks with shaky hands. “I will not ever let you down again, even if you hate this date, even if you decide we should be acquaintances, just any part of your life you have me in, I’ll follow.”

“Shh.” You kiss his cheek now, cheeks that tinge pink under the light brush of your lips. “You text the time, and I’ll be ready. Oh, and you better shave.”

“I will.” You smile so pretty at him, as Choso’s mind whirls once you leave. A date with you, he needs it to be perfect.

You came to him, you were real.

Yuuji and Megumi burst in now, and Choso has this silly grin on his face, much to their relief. “You better not fuck this date up.”

“You all were listening!?”

“Just to some of it! Choso!”

Megumi snorts. “He’s gonna kill you, Yuuji.”

*****

Choso pulls up in his little Mustang, you stand there so nervous in the night, having gone over twenty outfits before landing on a little black dress, you figure you can’t go wrong with that. It’s lacy on the chest, it cinches just so in the waist and flares out flirtatious, along with a black jacket since the night has a chill. You see his mouth drop when he gets out of the car, making you flush.

“You’re so beautiful.” He says softly, like he’s in awe, it makes you feel beautiful then, Choso makes you feel so much, like you are so special.

“You look handsome, Cho.” You smile up at him, taking in his black dress shirt and slacks, fitting his muscled frame so sexy. “I’ve never seen you dressed up like this? Where’d you get these?”

“Put away from a wedding.” He admits, you giggle then, the sound brightening his world, as he takes in your gorgeous face. “Your makeup is beautiful too.”

“Oh thank you! Youtube tutorial.” He grins, brushing his fingers along the backs of your cheek then.

“You nailed that shit.”

“I missed the fuck out of you.” He nods, leaning so close, dying to kiss you, but you deserve the night, a night all about you, to take it slow, so he pecks a kiss on your hand, taking it in his. “Gentleman Cho?”

“Mmhmm. My lady.” He teases, your pulse flutters in your throat as he opens the car door for you now, making a show of dramatically bowing. His hand is on your thigh when he’s driving, yours brushes the backs of his knuckles, so much still left unsaid between you, but the comfort of each other overpowers it.

“Where are we going, Sir?” He exhales, not able to handle you calling him Sir because fuck the thoughts going through his head are insane now.

“We’ll be there soon, I think you’ll like it though?”

“I’m nervous.”

“Me too.” He admits, looking at you as the lights of cars drive by, reflecting against your pretty face as he drives you through the night, catching each one of your features just so every time. “Breathtaking.”

“Oh stop.” He hums a bit, big hands squeezing your thigh gently, thumb brushing along your inner thigh now, you shift just a bit. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for being so pretty.”

“Whatever, you’re too much.” You roll your eyes and his laugh fills the car. “I hated it, Cho, being apart.”

He exhales now, grip tightening. “God, me too. I couldn’t bear it, not at least seeing you for that one minute in the morning, it hurt.”

You feel the pain in his voice, no matter how much he tries to hide it from you. “I couldn’t…”

“It’s okay, angel. I understand. You’re probably still hurting, but you’re here.”

“I am here. Terrified.”

“Me too.” Choso pulls up now, and you see it, a beautiful boat in the night, making you gasp at it.

“What!? Oh gosh, I expected a movie?”

“I thought we could have dinner here and just… talk? Relax together? Enjoy the view.” You nod excitedly, and soon you’re walking along the planks, alongside couples strolling arm and arm, Choso watches you carefully, as the breeze blows your hair around your face.

You look like art to him.

You are art to him.

“It’s gorgeous here my god!” Your hands are on the railing, looking up at the clear night sky, the gentle waves of the ocean rolling. Choso can’t keep his eyes off of you, when he agrees.

“Gorgeous.” You look to him then, heating up at his insinuation, at the way he’s looking at you so sweetly, so enamored. “I never meant to make you…”

“It’s fine, Cho.”

“No.” He tilts your chin up, with two long fingers, making you look up at him now. “I never meant to make you feel less than. Not good enough, or worthy enough, you’re worth everything.”

“Gonna make me cry right now?” You whisper, lips trembling, he aches to brush them against his, aches to make every part of you covered in his kisses.

“Just know I appreciate this night, even if it's only once.”

“Hush, Cho bear.” The nickname, so silly and cute, hits him with the nostalgia, of all the years you both were the best of friends, giggling and spending every moment together.

“I’ll hush then, let’s go eat.”

You find yourself across the table from him, you’re nervously eyeing the menu, eyes bulging out. “This is too much.”

“Stop it, please? I did really well for myself with the last show.” You hate that mention then, that you didn’t go. “Don’t be upset about it, I get it. We got your gifts which were very sweet you know.”

“I wanted to go so badly.” You look away, taking a breath, then he’s yanked his seat, dragging it across the floor with a screech, next to you, and you love it, his thigh brushing against yours, his sweet smile.

“It’s okay, I understand. I do. I know you have supported me always, I don’t know if I let you realize how much I appreciated it.”

“I can’t cry, I have on eyelashes, stop.” Choso laughs softly, leaning close and pulling up your menus.

“I’ve never gone on any kind of date to a fancy place, I wanted this to be with you, okay? It’s nothing. But…” He whispers then. “I have no clue what any of this stuff is?”

“Me either! No pictures!?” You lean over then to a couple near you, they smile at you both. “Any advice?”

“I picked the filet mignon, at least I knew the word.” She says, you giggle, nodding then and peeking at Cho.

“That one?” Soon you’re giving the waitress your order, and you can’t help but notice that she’s flirting with him, but instead of how he’d usually be sweet and hopelessly clueless, he wraps an arm around your waist, as if showing that he’s here with you.

It’s everything you’ve ever wanted in one gesture.

Ino picking his ex over you, Satoru having picked random girls over you, and a serious lack of dating has made your shitty limited experience have you extra insecure, something you realized this past month. Choso even just calling you his friend, though it was true, had hurt deeply once you were intimate.

You’re trying to take it slow, one moment at a time, but god he feels so good, against you, with you. He’s cutting at your steak and feeding you little bites, you both sip wine and just enjoy each other as the boat sways through the water. It’s unlike any date you’ve had, you don’t have to get to know him, don’t have to impress him. He’s Choso Kamo, the man you’ve adored forever.

“So it’s a date, what’s your favorite color?” He teases, you snort in laughter, rolling your eyes.

“Oh stop like you haven’t known since middle school, it’s blue. What’s your favorite color, emo boy, black?”

“Emo boy!?” You are both losing it with laughter, with his every little touch, his sweet smile, he carves his damn place further in your heart.

The dessert comes, a chocolate lava cake with a scoop of ice cream, and you laugh at his messy eating, the way he gets chocolate on the corner of his mouth. “You’re so messy.”

“So were you, I remember.” His husky tone makes your mouth drop open, desire clutching you tightly, especially when he licks it off, you can’t help but remember the taste of him, the feeling of his body against yours, the way that tongue just fucking did things.

You clear your throat, trying to shake the thoughts away. “Not gentlemanly, now is it?”

“It’s not, I’m sowwy.” He gives you puppy dog eyes, and you can’t take how cute he is then. You laugh softly, wiping a smudge of chocolate from his face with your thumb. “What’s so funny?” He asks, licking his lips.

“You are.” You reply, unable to stop smiling.

“Am I?” You nod, he’s so close then, his hand on your thigh under the table cloth, you have insane thoughts, what would it be like for him to play with you, right here?

“Shit.”

“Shit what?”

“Nothing.” You sigh, running fingers through your locks now.

“Open up.” Why does everything sound so attractive!? You do as he commands, opening your mouth for him to fork a piece of the chocolate cake, you chew thoughtfully as he watches you with avid attention.

“Food on my face?”

“N-no. Just so pretty.” He’s blushing now, it takes everything not to completely melt, but you’re still a little scared, a little hurt.

When he’s driving you back and you’re in the car, it also takes everything not to jump him then and there, not to let everything overwhelm you. His hand rests on your knee, smiling over at you when you pull up, the tension is still there, the words so unspoken, you want to say more, do more, but you know you shouldn’t yet.

“Would you like to go to our concert this weekend? I would really love it if you came… I may have a surprise I’m working on.”

“I’d love to, Cho. I miss seeing you guys.”

“Megumi and Yuuji really miss you too.” The guilt eats at you, Choso notices, frowning, dark brows drawn together. “I don’t say that to make you feel bad, they understand somewhat.”

“We fucked up so bad.” You blink rapidly, suddenly the car is too small, your hand going to the handle. “I should say good night.”

“Let me.” Choso is opening your door then, taking your hand in his, and you feel it, those butterflies swirling in your tummy, the desire for him in every way possible, as you give him a little tremulous smile. “Can I walk you to your door?”

“You can indeed, Sir.” You’re smiling so big you can’t stand it, you both are on your porch now, your hand still in his, which he brings to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles. “You’re like an Emo Disney Prince, Cho.”

“A what!?” You’re giggling again and he snorts in laughter, covering his face. He laughs so hard, and soon you’re just both laughing, looking at each other. He cups your face then, making your pulse race, your laughter easing now, as you stare at him. “You look so beautiful like this.”

“Snorting in laughter?” You ask with a quirk to your lips, he nods then, brushing his thumb on the apple of your cheek.

“Much better than tears.” There is so much between you both, a part of you wants to run inside and hide, another part wants to drag him in and kiss every part of him, but your hand goes to his chest, feeling his heart racing just like yours, just feeling him, being with him.

“I love seeing you smile. I can’t believe we ruined it.” Your whisper breaks him, he shakes his head then, leaning even lower.

“We didn’t ruin anything, maybe we… changed things?”

“You think? Can you… forgive me too?”

“Oh angel, there’s nothing to forgive. We both made a mess of this and hurt each other, but I never once was mad at you.” You step even closer now, swallowing nervously, your hands sliding up to wrap around his neck now, one of his arms wraps your waist.

“Thank you for a beautiful evening, Choso Kamo.” You murmur, a little smile on your lips.

“Thank you for being you.” He whispers, the warmth of his palm seeping through your dress, making you gasp at it, just the brush of his fingers down your back ends you damn near. Your eyes flutter shut, feeling his breath against your skin, waiting for it, waiting for his kiss.

But he just watches you, with your lips pursed, and your eyes shut, his heart fucking stopped now. He knew it, that he loved you, he had suspected it for so long, but then and there he knew he was madly in love with you. Part of him wants to give you a sweet kiss, the other wants to fuck you so good you forget Gojo ever touched you, warring parts in his mind.

His thumb tilts your chin up, and he pauses. “May I kiss you?”

Your eyes open in surprise. “You may.”

As his lips brush against yours, it’s at first sweet and lingering, but then it is like a spark ignites a flame, a passionate desperate kiss that you both crave forms, tongues dancing together, tasting the sweetness of the desert on both of your lips, the tart of the wine, and tasting each other.

Your hands are in his hair, his arms around your waist as he bends over you, you’re both lost in it, lost in each other. His thumbs trace little circles on the small of your back, making you arch into him, his kisses becoming more insistent, more needy. You feel it, the desire coiling in your tummy as he presses you even closer against his hard body, as one of his hands entangles in your hair.

You break apart for a moment, both of you panting, staring at each other, his eyes are full of desire, his pupils blown wide, and you see in his own eyes your face, lips parted, your own eyes lidded with desire. You both ease back, he rests his forehead on yours, desire coursing through his veins.

“It’s taking everything in me not to go inside, to have your taste all over me.” His words end you almost, you’re panting softly, nodding then.

“I know, I want it too.” He kisses you again, softer and easier, taking a deep breath and stepping back, leaving just a couple of inches between you now.

“I want to do things right this time. I want you to feel you’re put first. Please, don’t cry, angel.” You can’t help it, it’s everything you’ve wanted and needed to hear from him, tears streaming silently.

“They’re happy tears this time.” You manage to whisper, he exhales then, brushing them gently, kissing your cheeks.

“I hope soon I can ask you to be my girlfriend.” Your heart stutters then, he tenses as if he’s said something wrong. “Not yet I mean… if…”

“N-no, I’d like it soon. I agree we shouldn’t go further tonight though.” He nods quickly, kissing you once more and standing straight, clearing his throat, he’s rubbing the back of his neck all awkward and cute, the Choso you’ve known forever. “You’re still you, hmm?”

His lips turn up a bit. “I’m still me. You’re still you.”

“I am still me. Text me the details of the concert? I’ll be there.” He beams brightly at that.

“Yeah!?”

“Yeah. Good night, Choso. Thank you.”

“Good night.” After he’s watched you go inside, Choso is covering his face, breath coming so quick, he’s kissed you, and not just as some prelude to sex, no he kissed you after a date.

Everything in him is melting, things aren’t completely lost like he thought, it’s like this beautiful rainbow has entered his world again, illuminating the darkness that losing you had left behind. He’s not even sure he deserves your forgiveness, but he knows he will make sure he earns it properly. He stares at your shut door for some time before he leaves, the longing making him ache.

You’re covering your face, a huge fucking smile on it, as your back is against the door, then you have a hand on your heart, feeling it beat again, for the first time in weeks. You take off your heels, unzipping your dress then, heading to the bathroom to start taking off your makeup, mind whirling. Choso wasn’t lost, and maybe you weren’t lost either.

You try not to get your hopes too high, to not be too quick to think everything will be fine, you both hurt each other deeply, and you have a lot to go, but tonight made the dark bright again, made you realize Choso was your brightness. When you’re in bed, snuggled under the blankets, your phone buzzes and you look quickly to see it, a text from Choso.

Cho Bear: I hope you have a good night, but I have to admit… I’d die to have you in my arms.

His text hits hard, it hits brutal, it was only one night he’d held you like that, but you can’t get it out of your head, how it felt perfect. Like you were supposed to be there, safe and protected, cherished. Even now to think of him holding you brings emotions forwards, the longing in his words matching yours.

You: That would be lovely, I enjoyed that night.

Cho Bear: I enjoyed it too much, especially watching you sleep.

You: Creepy sleep stalker!

Cho Bear: A little bit.

You’re giggling again, eyes heavy now, and he sends the details of the concert coming up while you yawn.

You: I can’t wait, good night Cho.

Cho Bear: Good night, pretty.

You also see a text from Utahime, asking for details, you’re half asleep with one eye open as you text her back that it was so fun. She had encouraged you to go and give it a try, and you’re so happy you did. She gives you a million heart emojis then, making you smile sleepily.

To be in Choso’s arms, you don’t know if you’ll get there any time soon, but in your dreams, there you are.

*****

“She came!” Yuuji exclaims that weekend, you and Choso were back to him bringing you that coffee at work, in fact it came along with a little peck on your cheek every morning. It would make you think of him all day, it would put this goofy smile on your face, but aside from that, you haven’t seen him.

The concert is at a very popular club in the city, and it’s packed, there is Choso’s band and a couple others there, when you walk in and you see them. Yuuji waves excitedly, Megumi gives a little nod, and Choso brightens up, calling your name and waving you up to the stage then.

“You came!” He picks you up in his arms then, a giant bear hug that makes you feel so small as he lifts you up, you hug him around the neck as your feet dangle off the ground, smiling against his cheek.

“Of course I did, I couldn't miss it.” He eases you down as some onlookers come, one including Amber, who makes Choso tense as she strides up.

“Choso, I haven’t talked to you! In forever…”

“Is that your girl?” Another girl asks, Amber laughs then.

“They’re friends.”

You gulp now, panicking as several people come around curiously, and you want to fall into a fucking hole, terrified of what his answer will be, you’re not together yet, so whatever he says…

“No, she’s my girl.” You blink up at him, gasping, he eases you down and wraps an arm around your waist as the whispers start.

“Your girl?” Amber asks, arms crossed with a scowl.

“She’s pretty!” Someone else says, making you flush, snuggling up to Choso, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“You don’t have to do this.”

He looks at you then, shaking his head. “I want to.” He murmurs, pressing a little kiss on your lips in front of everyone, Megumi and Yuuji are grinning as the girls are babbling, and people from the crowd ooh and ahh. But Amber?

“Really? Her?” Choso tenses then, glaring over at her.

“Yeah, her, what’s that mean?”

“Cho, it’s okay…”

Amber stomps up to him then, leaning close. “You forgot the last time we hung out?”

“I’d love to forget. You can go on if you mean to insult her, because damned if she’s not perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Why don’t you go on?” Megumi says then, eyeing a bouncer. “Or we could have you escorted?”

“Whatever.” She grumbles, dragging her friends out with her, and suddenly you can breathe just a bit, looking up at him.

“You didn’t have to say all that, it’s okay really.”

“It’s not okay for her to talk that way. She’s nothing.” He cups your face, forgetting the audience right along with you, until Yuuji clears his throat, and you smile at them, tummy doing fucking flips at how good you feel.

“Thanks Megumi.” You say softly, he shrugs.

“She’s a bitch.” You snort a bit, covering your mouth, looking up at Choso again, who has a more serious expression.

“Is it fine I called you my girl?” He asks, you feel it, his nerves then, you nod with the biggest smile, and he exhales. “Okay, good, because I want it to be true.”

“Maybe it will be, let’s see this surprise.” You tease, pecking a kiss on his lips softly again. “I can’t wait.”

As you’re sipping on a drink you watch them start their set, you’re right up front and center, watching Choso’s finger strum the guitar like they’re made to do it, he leans close to the mic and starts singing. His voice resonates through the entire room, earning everyone’s avid attention, including of course, yours.

You watch him intently, as he performs songs you’ve known forever, you’re cheering and dancing and he keeps smiling at you, keeps looking at you. You feel so special then, more than you can ever remember feeling, the fear dissipating with every honeyed flick of his fingers on the guitar, at moments you shut your eyes and just let it wash through you.

You head to get another drink as they prep for the next song, when suddenly there’s a hushed quiet when Choso speaks, making you turn back around and stare at him.

“This song was written in a rush, these two had to learn it so fast, they probably wanna kick my ass.” He says, the crowd laughs a bit, you’re headed back through them with your drink, smiling up at Choso curiously. “But it’s dedicated to someone special, someone I’ve known forever, but who has become very special to me.”

He says your name then.

You can hardly remember your name before he spoke it, before he looked at you like that, and he’s pointing at you, earning the crowd parting just a bit for you. You feel the heat of everyone’s gaze, hear their murmurs, but you’re too entranced and in shock to really see anything but violet eyes across from you on the stage.

“I hope you… I know you’ll get it.” He says then, hoping the lights on the stage didn’t make his blush show too much, then he begins playing, as do Megumi and Yuuji, a melodic tune that sounds nothing like you’ve heard from them.

A/N: *disclaimer I am no songwriter, be easy on me lol*

When the world fades to gray and all I can see is you,

When the nights blend to days and all I feel is you.

The smile on your face it dances across all my dreams,

Feelings so raw it’s like I’m bursting at the seams.

The melody is soft, it’s not their usual rock music, it’s a ballad so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes, hearing the hoarseness of Choso’s voice as he pours his heart into every word. You sniffle and take a shaky sip, trembling as everyone watches you both in wonder, but it is just you two, isn’t it? Hasn’t it always been?

I’d die to have you in my arms every night,

Oh what I’d do to hold you so tight.

To press kisses along your lips,

To touch you with fingertips.

You’re heating up now, breathless as you continue to watch, utterly enamored, it’s as if you feel these words like a physical touch, overheating your body. You break apart that last barrier of fear, piece by piece, because you can’t just make this up, you can feel it, all of him, in all his sincerity.

In a crowded room all I see is you,

Praying at night for all my dreams to come true.

A girl with a smile that can brighten my heart,

A girl with eyes that tear me apart.

Your eyes are a mess, you’re absolutely sure that there is makeup running down your face, as he melody continues, as he starts pouring his heart to you, as he makes you smile, as he makes you melt. You’re trembling so hard your knees nearly knock, aching to be held by him, for him to never let go. You know you have to take things slow, but at this moment it feels impossible.

Feelings I’ve always known,

Feelings I’ve never shown.

She’s the girl that you write songs for,

She’s the girl that I’ve longed for.

By my side through it all,

Never knew we could fall.

The realization that I have come to,

That there’s nobody but you

At that moment you’re a mess, he ends the song but before he can finish you’ve jumped on the stage, he swings his guitar behind him, and you kiss him, pulling him down to you as everyone claps for him. It’s thunderous, but you don’t hear shit, just your pulse racing, just Choso’s heart thudding, he pulls back with tears in his eyes, breaths coming so quick.

“Choso, I hear you. I feel you.” You whisper, brokenly then, and he kisses you deeply, arms wrapping around you.

“I do mean it, I mean it all angel.” You nod, swiping at your tears and smiling so brightly, he leans close, cupping your face, smiling.

“Finish the set.” You whisper, giggling then as you hop off the stage, everyone is enamored as Choso clears his throat, and they start their usual fare. You head to the bathroom, slamming into Amber then, who scoffs at you.

“You, hmm?” She demands, earning your glare.

“What’s your problem with me? It’s not like you and Choso dated.”

“No? Well he sure had his cock in my mouth.”

You tense now. “And? We weren’t together.”

“Don’t you think…” She leans close. “That if he really wanted you, he’d have been with you this entire time?”

“I…” Your mind whirls with doubt, she smiles all nasty at you.

“No worries, I got Gojo’s number, maybe I��ll take your other guy?”

“Psh, like I care about Gojo. Please do, maybe he’ll quit sending me his dick pics.” You say, smirking at her then, she is furious at you.

“He said you’re just friends, you know.”

“Yeah well, I don’t care what he said. It doesn’t matter. We’re not ‘just friends’ any longer, so I expect you to back the fuck off hmm?” You step right to her, damn near nose to nose, and she backs up just a step.

“We’ll see about all that.” She walks off now, leaving you shaky as you peer into the mirror, you feel sick at thinking of them together, once you pull yourself together somewhat you step out, seeing her all clinging to his arm.

Choso shrugs her off though, glaring, and when he sees you he starts walking your way, filling you with so much relief, it’s like you can breathe again. “Was she a bitch to you?”

“Yeah, she’s really salty.” Choso snorts then, kissing you gently for everyone to see. “I hate that you were with her.”

“I hate you were with him.” He murmurs, leaning close to your ear. “How slow are we taking this?”

“Mmm…” You trail your hands down his strong arms. “We said slow…”

“I could eat you out really slow?” Your eyes shoot up to his, god you haven’t been touched that way in so long, and by him especially, you feel his words shoot between your thighs. “I want to feel you cum so badly, watch your pretty face, your last time cumming was…”

“Thinking of you.” You cut him off, surprising him then. “It was playing with myself, thinking of you.”

“Fuck…” Choso kisses you deeper, pressing you against the wall right by the bathroom, his hands on your waist, pressing in. “I’ll take it slow, whatever it is you want to do, I will.”

“You wanna lick me slow huh?” You’re giggling at the thought. “Lick me where, Choso?”

“You know where, you’re so bratty right now.” You can’t stop your giggles, making him desire you even more. “Don’t I owe you a couple orgasms?”

“Maybe you do. Two I think.”

“So I’ll give you two, and we won’t go further… yet.”

“Where?” He exhales now.

“I want you home… I mean… my home.”

“Staying the night is a lot really quick, this is like our second date?” You tease, he smiles shyly then.

“We can just cuddle, we can do anything. Please just come home… over to my home…”

“You’ve said that twice.” He is a blushing mess, it melts you. “I’ll come over for a night cap then.”

“Yeah!?”

You laugh, nodding. Soon you’re pulling into Choso’s home, and it’s a little nerve wracking. Then you remember the last time you were in his bed, you don’t know how you hold back. Choso’s bending down, slipping off your heels, pecking kisses up your thighs then, earning your gasp as you’re dripping wet in your panties.

“Wanna get more comfy?” He asks softly, you nod shyly then, and soon you’re only wearing one of his soft band tees, coming out to see Choso has made you a drink, he hands it to you as you walk in the kitchen, leaning on the counter then. “You’re so beautiful.” He says, brushing your hair back.

“You’re beautiful, Cho bear.” He shakes his head with a little eye roll.

“You always sucked at taking compliments.”

“I know, ugh.” You sip on the drink in the quiet kitchen then, he bends over you, arms on either side of the counter.

“Do you know how badly I wanna fuck any memory out of your head of him?” His words hit you violently, your pussy throbs around nothing. “I won’t yet, but if you think I don’t you’re insane.”

“I… you…”

“I’ll settle for licking the memories out of your pretty head.” You can’t stop the whine from the back of your throat then, only urging him on, he’s got you lifted on his counter then, shocking you. “Let me take care of you, angel, yeah? Just like that first night, when I first tasted you.”

“Please.” Is all you manage, and Choso’s slipping up your shirt, moaning when he finds you bare, sinking to his knees then, he’s so tall it puts him right at face height with your pussy, which his breath alone makes you jerk. “Cho…”

“So fucking perfect.” He swipes a tongue up your slit, your hands enwrap in his dark silky locks, as he shoves your thighs apart, tongue ring hitting your clit. “Mmm… so yummy, fuck.” He huffs now, black blunt nails pressing into the plush of your thighs as he slips his tongue up again.

“Cho!” You whimper, already pathetic, he watches the arousal pool from your little hole, making him throb, cock so hard he can’t take it. He starts drinking you up, the slurping sounds in the kitchen erotic, as his barbell keeps flicking over and over. “Oh my god…”

You’re already close, it’s so quick but he knows you, he knows your pussy, where you like it, what pressure, and when he’s sucking your clit in his mouth, humming on it and watching you, you fall apart. You can’t hold back at all, cumming so much it’s a mess, all over his face, which he eagerly drinks while you’re yanking his hair so hard it hurts, but it makes him harder.

“Good girl, that’s it.” Choso murmurs when he pulls back, you’re blinking vision back, blinded then, taking several breaths as he leans up, slipping a finger in your slick walls, which clench him. “So tight, fuck… soaking me, huh angel?”

“Mnh…” You can’t manage a word, hearing your greedy pussy sucking his fingers so deep. He’s curling it up, leaning to you, lips brushing yours, you lick yourself right off him, hands shaking as you clutch his shirt. “M-missed it… f-fuck…”

“I missed you, missed feeling you.” Choso’s words, his finger curling sends you back over that edge, your eyes roll back, head falling, he kisses down your throat then, slipping another finger. “Feel that stretch, huh baby?”

“Ngh!” You nod, gasping when he’s back down, using his fingers and his mouth at the same time, bringing you higher and higher, all while violet, dilated eyes watch your every expression. Choso’s pulsing himself then, as your walls flutter around him, as your slick pools down his wrist, so slippery now, all while he drinks you, watching you fall apart.

You’re shaking violently, thighs closing around his head as the orgasm washes over you, as the coil in your tummy releases, your scream is so loud your voice breaks in the middle. You’re sobbing when he’s done, it’s so fucking good, gasping for breath, he places a kiss on your pussy then, groaning at it, and you desperately yank him to you, kissing him.

He moans, deepening the kiss, and he feels it then, the sticky hot cum from eating you out start pouring in his sweats, he panics at it, pulling back, and looking at your cock drunk face, eyes dilated so much he can barely see the iris. Your cunt is drooling, he leans down to lap it up again, whimpering as his cock pushes out more cum, picturing it in you.

“Cho, lemme take care of-”

“Ah, no… I already…”

He leans up now, blushing furiously, and your eyes dart down, seeing it now, soaking wet spot on his sweats, sticky white pooling through the material. “I didn’t touch you?”

“You didn’t have to.” He smiles nervously, exhaling. “I’m sorry-”

“No! No… it means you really love it.” You whisper, biting your lip as he eases you off the counter. Choso cups your face carefully, words of love threatening to spill, but he doesn’t know if you’re ready yet.

“Loving it is an understatement, watching you cum? Your pretty face? The way your body shakes? I can’t explain it. And your taste, how wet you get… I couldn’t take it, it just… happened.” You giggle now, earning his glare. “Are you laughing at me? That cruel, hmm?”

“No, I’m just… it’s so cute!”

“Cute? Ugh.”

“I’m sorry it is sweet, and cute… and flattering.” You kiss him over and over, uncaring as his sticky lap presses against your tummy. “I can clean you up?’

“Oh god, I won’t make that right now. No, I want it for you, tonight.”

“Like the first night?”

“Mhmm.” He kisses your forehead now, exhaling. “Let me clean up and we can cuddle, if you want?”

“I want.”

Soon you’re back somewhere you never thought you’d be again, Choso Kamo’s strong arms, he’s got one wrapped around you as you lay on his chest, trailing little circles mindlessly against his bare skin, over his tattoos. You know the story behind them all, you went to him with most of them, but you can’t help but find them incredibly sexy.

His other hand brushes up and down your spine, making you shiver and hum just a bit, you lean your chin up, looking at him then, feeling the words threatening to spill, but not just yet. “I’m still scared, Cho bear.”

He frowns at that, sighing. “I know, angel. I know.”

“I want to say more, but…”

“You can wait, we have all the time, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You kiss him and smile, blissed out from his presence, from the pleasure he brings you.

“How about another date?” You nod eagerly, smiling against his neck as you snuggle up to him.

“I’d love that. I’ll pick it?”

“You’ll pick it.”

“I hope Amber will fuck off by the way?”

“You can beat her up?”

“I could.” He moans at that, yanking you closer.

“Hot.” You both giggle. “I didn’t enjoy it with her. Physical and nothing else? It felt so…”

“Empty.”

“Yeah, empty. But fuck I can’t forget the hurt on your face, and I hate it still, that it made you…”

“Cho…”

“I hate him, I’m sorry. It’s like he knew you were upset and thrived off it.” You wince now, shaking your head.

“He just wanted fun, I doubt it.”

“You’re too sweet sometimes. If I see him? I can’t make promises.”

“You’ll kick his ass for my honor huh?” He chuckles.

“For lots of reasons, starting with high school. Even then, I wish…”

“It’s okay, we have now. Let’s not focus on back then.” He wishes he could change it all though, take away your pain, but he’s so thankful, he nods now, kissing your head and continuing his gentle touches. “This feels so perfect. It’s scary how perfect.”

“It is perfect. Good night, angel.” You yawn, smiling and shutting your eyes, snuggling deeper as you fall into a slumber, the tentative happiness making you sleep quickly, though there’s fear in both your hearts, of what could come between you.

“I… love you. I’m in love with you.” Choso whispers, as he hears you lightly snore, making his heart swell in his chest, hoping one day soon he can tell you.

A/N- I know the last chap was HEAVY with the angst, but they had to go through the worst and a seperation, truly to find each other. The story isn't over, and not done yet, but I hope you're enjoying it even if it got dark for a bit here! I look forward to your comments

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mikkomacko · 2 days ago

Text

Him and I-Do it with a broken heart

Mob Nico Hischier x reader blurb

Warnings: blood, tears, mentions of violence and wounds, alcohol, angst

____________________________________________

June

Nico can’t look away from you.

Ever since you showed up at his apartment on Saturday night, teary eyed and scared. You told him it was done, that you said goodbye to your family. You’d picked him. And even though you were teary eyed and scared, you were also so confident in your decision.

You picked him.

The decision has sat heavy on his shoulders ever since. Why the fuck would you do that? The people that raised you, the people that put a house over your head and love into your soul, and you just walked away?

For him? What can he offer you? He can’t be your boyfriend, can’t step in as your family. Nico knows for certain that he can’t be what you need right now. There's no way he can take care of you, be there for you. Not now, when he can barely take care of himself.

It’s all ruined. He should’ve told you to go back and apologize to them, to agree to your parents terms and stop seeing him. And then when the two of you couldn’t hold that promise, he’d just be a fun little secret.

That was the plan, wasn’t it? When he met you? To just be the guy you came to when you didn’t want to sleep alone, when school was too much, when you both needed the world to just slow down for a moment.

Because it’s always been like with you. Time standing still, everything fading away until it’s just you and him. He should’ve known then what he was doing. What that feeling meant.

He’s going to love you. Not in a fleeting way, where he loves that you’re always a call away, or that you always fall into bed with him so effortlessly, or that you ignore the fact he's running one of the largest growing businesses in the US. But that he’ll love you with everything he’s got. When he’s laying on his deathbed he’ll have the taste of your lips on his tongue, your name on his breath.

He’s going to love you in the kind of way that changes everything.

And he’s not ready for that.

He pictures you walking across the stage at graduation, the way your smile took over your whole face. You didn’t look back towards your family, didn’t turn to wave at them. No, you somehow found him, found his eyes even through the obnoxiously dark sunglasses he was wearing. Your smile turning shy, the hand not holding your degree lifting to wiggle your fingers at him and the boys that were hooting and hollering louder than everyone else.

You should’ve been looking for your family in a moment like that, not at him. He knew it then too, that you’re going to love him one day. Maybe you’re already there, or at least on your way to being there. You’ll love him the way he’ll love you, endlessly. Dangerously.

Nico needs to be ready for that. He needs to be someone capable of loving, deserving of it. Especially if it’s going to come at the expense of your family.

Softly, you giggle at something on your phone, scrolling momentarily. Nico glances at you again, looking over when the stop light’s red or lapse in traffic allow him too. He wants to see the details of your face for as long as he can, commit it to memory. Not that he'll ever forget it. He'll just need it to keep him going, to keep working towards you when life starts to get tough.

Sooner than he'd like he's pulling up in front of your apartment complex, eyeing the window on the fourth floor that he knows is yours. You lock your phone, gathering your bag from the floor of his car when he looks at you.

Will he ever step foot in that apartment again? Ignore the cold looks of your roommates? Sneak in after they've gone to bed because neither of you wanted to deal with them that night? He hopes so, but deep down he knows he probably won't.

"Meeting with the boys tonight?" You ask, tilting your head curiously. He wants to touch the strand of hair that falls away from your face. Instead he nods, clearing the dry lump in his throat.

Right, it's Wednesday. Meet day for the Devils, and you know that. The fact that you know that squeezes his chest, painfully constricts his lungs. "Yeah," he tries to say. It comes out as more a whisper.

You frown, eyes squinting in thought as you look at him. He wants to look away, knows he needs to because you'll see right through him like you always do. He can't though. He wants to see you, aches to have his eyes on you and that fucking hurts.

"What's wrong Nico?"

He shakes his head, throat burning and he thinks he might cry. God he hasn't cried in probably years, but then again he hasn't let himself indulge in sweet things like you in years either.

Knowingly, you sit up straight and sigh "Say it Nico." Of course you know, you know him better than he knows himself. In the few months he's let himself have you, you've read him like a book from the very beginning. Perfect, you've always been perfect for him.

He can't say the same thing about himself, though.

"If you already know it, why should I-"

"Because I want to hear it," you interrupt, and for the first time ever he can't tell if your angry or sad, or both. You sound like you've already known this was coming. Numb to it. "If you're going to do this to us Nico at least have the guts to actually say it out loud."

It hurts to hear but you're right. He inhales, bites at his bottom lip as he tries to get the words to form on his tongue. All he can feel are those stupid cries hiding in the back of his throat.

"I don't think we should see each other any more," he finally voices, and this time he does look away. Staring out the windshield as the neighbor that lives above you walks those monstrosities they call dogs.

He can't help but think of you and your Moose, hopes that one day he gets to see you with a big and snuggly St. Bernard, just how you wanted. Even if he's not the one walking the dog with you.

"That's it?" you ask, bored. "No excuses, no 'it's-not-you-it's-me' or anything?"

"It is me," he winces when you laugh, unamused and cold.

"Of course it's you Nico. I'm not stupid, I know that."

"I know you're not stupid!" He defends, outraged and insulted that you'd even insinuate he think that. "You're the smartest fucking person I know and that's why you should know this isn't good. You can't throw everything away for me and the Devils."

"You can't choose that for me! What if it's what I want?"

"It's not," he insists, finally looking at you. You’re not crying, but you’re close to it. Your nose has gotten all read, eyes glassy and furious. Nico’s not sure what he looks like, but he hopes he too looks more angry than sad. You can’t know he’s sad, that he doesn’t want to do this.

“And it’s not what I want either.”

He can see the way the words hit you, the way you flinch back from him. Nico’s chest cracks, stinging with every shaky inhale he forces himself to take. You’ve never been scared of him, he doesn’t want you to be either. But if that’s the only way he’s going to get you to listen to him…well then flinch away.

“I can’t believe you,” you mutter in disbelief, more to yourself than him. Teary eyes look him over, calculating, like you don’t even recognize him anymore. He fights against the urge to cry, blinking furiously and staring out the front windshield as you gather your things. He hears your seatbelt in click, hears the door open. He still doesn’t look at you.

Not until you’ve gotten out of the car, pausing as you tell him the one thing he’s most afraid of.

“I hope that one day you’ll finally let someone love you, Nico.”

The door slams shut and Nico winces, not sure if he’s shying away from you or from the loud bang of the door. He’s not an asshole, as much as he’d like you to think, so he waits until he’s certain you’ve gotten inside safe. Checks just to make sure.

You’re not on the sidewalk, the door to your building sealed shut. All that lingers is the faint smell of you, of your vanilla perfume and shea butter condition. Nico sniffles, wipes at his eyes before the tears that have leaked out can get too far down his face.

Then he put the car in drive, doesn’t look in his mirrors as he heads back towards Hoboken. Alarm bells go off in his head.

You’re forgetting something.

You can’t leave without her.

Turn the car around.

He ignores them, biting his cheek and pressing on the gas harder. Nico doesn’t cry, not until he’s far enough away, panicking enough for his mind to finally scream at him.

You’re in love with her.

He doesn’t go home that night. He heads straight to the bar.

~~~~

July

The Rock is loud, even all the way in the back office where Nico’s been hiding. Muffled chatter, glass hitting the bar top, bottles clinking together. He can hear it all, even through the wall shaking music.

Nico groans, thankful he can’t be heard as he presses the disinfecting cloth to his ribs. He doesn’t know what hit him there, a knife, brass knuckles, maybe a key tucked between someone’s fingers.

Doesn’t matter. The wound is still gaping and messy, a mush of torn skin and blood. Gritting his teeth, Nico presses in tighter. His shirt lay in front him, dirty and torn, stained with blood. His, theirs, everyone’s probably.

That doesn’t matter either. He can get a new one whenever. Nico pulls the cloth away, dropping it into a wet and bloody mess on the desk top. He’s never been particularly good at stitching, especially not on himself, so he grabs for more gauze, planning to just wrap the stupid thing and hope it holds.

But by the time he’s got the gauze on and is starting to wrap the bandage around his torso, it’s already soaked with blood, sagging and drooping away from the wound.

“Fuck,” he curses, throwing it all to the floor in a soggy mess. He’s reaching for more gauze when they door to the office opens, the sounds of the bar hitting him clearly. Then it shuts, muffling it all again and Nico looks up to find Jesper there.

“Where have you been,” his friend asks, arms crossed over his chest. He’s looking Nico over, eyeing the fresh and old bruises on his torso, the scrapes. And of course, the gaping hole in his side.

“Had a job.” Nico grunts, attempting his bandaging again.

“I don’t remember you ever doing jobs alone before.” Jesper says pointedly, and Nico knows what he’s really trying to say. He’s being scolded for being reckless, for getting hurt, for not including them.

“Was a one man job,” he lies, but his fingers and the bandages have gotten messy and soaked again. “Fuck me!”

He throws them to the ground, grabbing his ruined shirt and holding it to his side. Squeezing his eyes shut, Nico starves off the wooziness, trying to take calming breathes.

“That’s gonna need stitches.” Jesper says and Nico stays silent, listens to Jesper putter around the office. He’s collecting thread and a needle, disinfecting and prepping everything. All while Nico sits there, grinding his teeth so hard he thinks they might crack and shatter.

He might crack and shatter.

“What was this about?” Jesper swats his hand away, Nico leaning back in the chair and letting his friend takeover.

“Those guys running around the Heights won’t be bothering us anymore,” is all Nico says. It was a small group, more a posse than anything else but they needed to be put down before they thought themselves competitors with the Devs.

“Thought we said we’d let it run its course?” Jesper pinches the raw skin together, Nico jolting in pain as his friend stabs through the untouched skin and begins knitting him together again.

“It wasn’t safe,” Nico grunts, white spots sparkling behind closed eyelids. “I have to-it couldn’t wait.”

It goes without saying what he means, what he’s been doing. Tearing himself apart at least once a week trying to clean up Jersey. The more power, the more dominance he has over the city, the less threat there is.

And when that happens, he can put the prinzessin laws in place. He can go get you. If you’re still there, that is.

“What’s she gonna say?” Jesper mumbles quietly, “when she comes back and sees you like this?”

Nico swallows heavily, wishes he had a bottle of whiskey or something back here to drink. “If she comes back.”

Jesper snorts humorlessly. “I hope you have a plan,” he says, tying off the stitches. Nico winces at the tug, blinking his eyes open to look down at the patched up work. “And I hope you’re still in one fucking piece by the time it’s over.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Nico deflects, and Jesper wipes away the blood staining his skin with an alcohol wipe. “The plan is that she’s safe.”

“You’re crazy if you think she’d be ok with this.” Jesper laughs, applying a bandage over the stitches. Maybe it’s Nico’s imagination but it feels like he presses it on unnecessarily rough. Nico doesn’t know what to say, so he just sits there, body aching, heart aching.

Almost a month later and he doesn’t feel any better about what he did. But growth hurts sometimes, even if it’s needed.

“Put a shirt on.” Jesper sighs, getting up and moving towards the door. “I’ll have a pint waiting for you at the table.”

Nico grunts, shifting to get up. “Get all the fucking girls out of there,” he demands before his friend can leave. “I don’t want them in my booth.”

~~~~

“Come on, that one’s cute!”

The man isn’t cute. Not even close. He’s got wavy golden hair, long and messy but in an intentional way. Even from here you can tell he’s got dark eyes, probably tragic and beautiful, just how you like.

But he’s not cute.

You shake your head, taking a drink from your vodka soda. The girls groan in protest, most of the noise overpowered by the music.

“Getting over and getting under, remember?” One of them says, leaning in close to your ear. For a month it’s been getting under to get over. But you’ve yet to get under anyone.

You can’t even look at anyone, no matter how much vodka you take in to try to blur the image in front of you. Because it does blur them, but it also sharpens the image of someone else.

And you don’t need that sharpened at all, don’t need any help to make that one hurt.

“Yeah,” you agree, “I just don’t feel like getting under anyone tonight.”

“So get on top.” One of them laughs and you try to do it too, giggle lifelessly like it’s actually funny. It’s not funny though, and you think if you had any water in you at all right now you might cry.

“At least get his number so when you do feel like getting under, it’s there.”

It’s not a terrible idea and it’ll get them off your back for the night. A step forward, away from where you’d been before, where you’re stuck right now. Away from him.

So you get up from the table, stumbling slightly in your knee high boots and the girls holler. You cheers them, downing the rest of your drink before making your way across the bar. Dazed, everything slightly blurring. But this guy spotted you the minute you got up, was already turned and waiting for you when you get there.

“Hey,” he greets and you repeat it back, gripping his arm when you stumble and his hand finds your waist. Not your hip, not like he used to do. Wordlessly, he’s gesturing to your phone in your hand and you unlock it, hand it over. He types in his number and you swallow down the urge to vomit.

He texts himself, his own phone buzzing as he hands yours back. The name on his contact reads Jack and your stomach twists uncomfortably.

You know a Jack. You miss Jack. You miss…

Swallowing heavily, you flutter your eyelashes at him, too drunk and sad to know what else to say. He does have dark eyes, almost black as they look at you with interest. Not warmth, not protectiveness, not…

“What’s your name?” He asks, thumb hovering over his phone where he’s saving your contact. You tell him, trying your best to smile all cute and flirty.

It must work because he smiles back, shy and maybe in another world cute. His eyes don’t crinkle though, not how you like. And his cheeks don’t dimple, not like…

“You’ve got a pretty smile.”

It knocks the wind out of you, makes you suck in a breath and suddenly you can’t look at him. Because different eyes are looking at you over his shoulder, sad and brown and beautiful. And he’s not smiling either, not even saying a word but you can read him.

I always told you that.

You can hear his voice in your head, feel it in his gaze. That’s his line, one of the first sweet things he’s ever said to you.

“I’m sorry,” you say with faux politeness, “I think my ride is leaving but uh yeah you’ve got my number.”

He says something back but you’re already moving towards the exit, turning away from that stupid face watching you so knowingly. Except now he’s behind you too, hovering and watching from just out of reach. Just like he is every time you drink this much.

You blink, try to will him away but his features get clearer and clearer every time you open your eyes again. A friend intercepts you, asks if you’re ok.

“Yeah,” you blow-off, “we’re gonna meet up later. I just need to go home and freshen up.” You lie, motioning to the blonde behind you.

He’s over her shoulder now, listening intently. Dark and thick eyebrows raise with amusement, a teasing smirk on his face. Dimples and all.

So you’re lying now too?

“Ok, you need help getting a ride?”

You shake her off, declining. You’ll order an uber outside, outside where you can breathe and cry and hopefully not see him anymore. “No I’m ok, promise.”

You’re not ok, baby.

She lets you go, and you push through bodies and around tables to get to the door. He follows you, moving slow and effortlessly but always there. Just like how he is in real life, presence looming and dominant.

You fight him, ignore him until your sat in the backseat of a Honda with the window cracked, sucking in ragged breathes.

He’s right, you’re not ok at all.

Your phone buzzes, and you look down, expecting to see a text from what’s his face at the bar. Instead it’s one you know, one you should probably call and ask to come over before you do something stupid.

Timo

Hey sweets, how was your night out? Home safe?

You’ll text him when you get home, you tell yourself. Let him know you’re ok, even if he doesn’t believe it. Eventually it has to be true.

Right?

~~~~

August

Timo and him haven’t been the same. Not in a while, no matter how much his friend likes to pretend everything is normal.

Nico can feel it though, in the silences Timo won’t fill, the questions and comments he ignores when they’re working. He’s stopped sitting with Nico at the bar, stopped drinking with him as much. Even if Timo acts like they’re ok, Nico knows better.

“Think Jack needs a sober weekend,” Nico says, conversationally “put him on security next weekend.” Timo hums, unlocking his phone and typing it into the schedule.

They’re not drunk, not even buzzed really. They’d been too busy making sure Jack didn’t bust his head open running around the bar tonight, feeding girls drink after drink and trying to send them Nico’s way.

He appreciates the kid, he does. But he was tired of his shit. So they loaded him into the car and dropped his skinny butt off at the loft. Then they decided to just head home, too late to want to go back and drink in peace.

Truth be told though, Nico doesn’t think Timo would have a beer with him anyway.

“Got it.” Timo says glumly, locking his phone. They drive in silence for another moment, Nico’s throat itching to say what he should say.

That he’s sorry, that he shouldn’t even have fucked with you in the first place. You were Timo’s friend first, and now he doesn’t see you, doesn’t talk to you. Because of Nico.

But he doesn’t, because he knows he did what was right. And if Timo’s gonna be mad at him for that well he can handle it.

Nico reaches to turn up the music, but the screen in the car flashes and Nico’s heart jumps into his throat.

Speak of the devil.

Your name is on the screen. For a moment he thinks it’s him you’re calling, that it’s him you need. But Timo’s phone is connected, he’s the one that was playing music. He’s the one you’re calling.

Before Timo can answer it privately Nico is tapping the green button, answering it for him.

Muffled music comes through the speakers, indistinguishable voices yelling and partying in the background. You’re out. You’re out and having fun at a bar or a club or something. Probably looking just as good as you did in his bar and he’s not there to see it. To see you.

His blood rushes, anger burning under his skin and he grips the wheel tighter, jaw ticking. He did this, this is his fault.

“Hey,” Timo answers, cautiously. Nico can feel his friend eyeing him, scared and tentative. “What’s up sweets?”

Nico waits with baited breath for the sound of your voice, to hear you drunk and happy as you slur to Timo in that sweet voice of yours.

He gets the exact opposite.

“Timo?” You sniffle, and it’s like all the air in the car gets sucked out. You’re crying, you’re out somewhere and something is wrong and you’re crying.

Nico bites his tongue to stay quiet.

“Yeah it’s me, what’s wrong?” Timo asks, calm and steady. “Where are you?”

He sounds…knowing. Like he’s done this before, has this conversation with you before. Nico wonders how many times you’ve actually called Timo, if you two still talk even after everything.

“I’m at a party,” you hiccup, and for a moment everything goes quiet, the party muffled. Nico wonders where you went, who you’re with. Even if it’s not his right to know. “I-will you come get me? Please?”

“Yes of course.” Timo agrees, “just tell me where you are.”

“I don’t know,” you cry, sniffling even more. “I-it isn’t my-Timo.”

Nico’s panicking, ears ringing as your cries fill the car. Timo’s already on his phone, pulling up his Find My app. You’ve given him your location.

Smart girl, Nico thinks proudly and bitterly. You’ve always been so smart.

“It’s ok I’ve got you,” his friend promises, “I found you. Gonna come get you right now, ok?”

You make a whimpered sound, like you’re choking on whatever you were trying to say. Nico is helpless, driving numbly as Timo shows him the address silently. He turns, changing directions to head to Jersey City.

“Y/n,” Timo says sternly. “Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah,” you say quietly, a hushed whisper. Like you’re hiding from something.

“I need you to breathe,” Timo instructs, and Nico steps harder on the gas. Imagines you hurt and scared, in a house you don’t know with a bunch of fucks that shouldn’t be anywhere near you.

“Ok,” you reply, but neither of them actually hear you trying. Nico just hears the party, muffled and far away.

“Are you somewhere safe?” Timo asks, glancing at Nico again.

“Yeah,” you agree, just as quiet.

“Are you ok?”

It silent for too long, long enough for Nico to know that you’re thinking about it. Trying to decide what to say.

Instead you say, “I love you T.”

Nico sucks in a sharp breath, hopes you can’t hear it. Then he imagines you saying it to him, hates Timo a little bit because he never got to hear that from you.

“I love you too kid.” Timo says, gentle and comforting. “Just hang on for a bit, I’ll be there soon ok?”

“I’m upstairs,” you say, “the last door on the right. Because he’s downstairs.”

Nico doesn’t know who he is. Doesn’t know if he wants to know. Maybe you did move on, maybe you tried and it didn’t work out. Maybe this guy is a fucking asshole. That’s who you’re hiding from. Someone who hurt you.

And from the looks of it, has been doing it for a bit. Because Timo seems to get it, knows who you’re talking about. He looks at Nico sadly, a tormented look in his eyes before answering.

“I know sweets, just hang on for me.”

“My phone is gonna die.” You say, the drunkenness in your voice coming through for the first time tonight. Not in that fun and flirty way Nico’s used to hearing, but in a pained way. Guilt gnaws at his stomach. “I’m gonna hang up.”

He doesn’t want you to. He wants to hear you, to listen to you until he knows you’re safe. But this isn’t his conversation.

“Ok, I’ll see you in a sec.”

“See you.”

Then the line goes dead. Music filters into the car again, not that Nico is listening to it. Timo shifts uncomfortably in his seat, turns to watch Nico’s profile curiously.

“Who is he?” Nico finally asks, certain that even if it hurts, he has to know. He can’t just ignore the fact that you and Timo have been hiding this asshole from Nico for who knows how long.

Timo sighs. “It’s you,” he admits, “she gets drunk and she sees you. Everywhere.”

Nico’s been shot before. Not fully, just nicks and grazes that bleed and burn, need stitches. But he imagines it’d feel like this if he were to fully get hit, if a bullet dug its way into his chest and settled there, breaking his ribs and shattering everything inside.

Him. He’s the asshole. He’s the one that hurt you, that’s been torturing and scaring you. You’re hiding from him, crying because of him.

It’s poetic, Nico thinks, that he was ready to run in there and get you, save you from whoever wasn’t treating you right. Whoever was taking advantage of you. And this whole time it was him.

“How often,” Nico asks, voice breaking and he has to clear his throat, steady himself. “How often does she call?”

Timo shrugs. “We talk almost everyday. She’s only like this a few nights out of the week, when she’s with her friends.”

A few night. Nico’s never known you to drink like that, to get wasted almost every night. Aren’t you working? Doing something with that degree you were so proud of? He was so proud of?

You’re supposed to be working and be happy, doing something you love. Not partying, drinking yourself into hallucinations of him hurting you.

“I-I didn’t know, Timo.” Nico admits, pained. “I didn’t know it’d end up like this, I never thought she’d…”

“Who cares,” Timo huffs, annoyed and bitter. “She drinks herself stupid and calls me. You go out and get your ass kicked, and call no one. So who cares?”

Nico doesn’t know what to say. He just keeps driving.

~~~~

Nico shouldn’t be here. He knows he shouldn’t, knows you’re going to go berserk when you see him, but he’s a dumb man and he can’t stay away.

Even if it hurts you and him.

He’s pacing on the sidewalk outside the stupid house Timo had disappeared into ten minutes ago. Anxious, Nico’s fighting to not go into the house himself and find you.

He can’t though, you’re not his to be rescuing.

Truth be told, he’s scared too. The last time he saw you was a little over a month ago, a Wednesday afternoon when he realized that he was falling in love with you. Even worse, he realized you might be falling in love with him.

So he broke off whatever it was you guys were doing, not dating, not friends with benefits, but something in between.

“I hope that one day you’ll finally let someone love you, Nico.”

Your final words replay in his head as he slumps against his car, checking his phone for the umpteenth time. Still nothing.

After what feels like years, the front door of the house opens and Timo emerges, gently guiding you by the elbow with him.

Nico feels like he’s been hit in the gut. Even when you’re a drunken, college party mess you look beautiful. He’s frozen, just staring at you with wide eyes until you spot him.

Eyes glossy from crying on the phone, you stop walking and hold his gaze for a moment. Frantically, you’re tugging out of Timo’s hold and backing up towards the house again.

Nico can’t stop you, what’s he supposed to say? That he’s sorry? That he’s changed his mind? That maybe you two can be friends?

Timo follows you, harsh whispers and hushed arguing as he shields you from Nico’s view. Then you fall silent, Timo stepping aside so he can see you again.

“Y/n…” Nico sighs, stepping forward and half reaching out for you. You’re crying again, silent tears slipping down your cheeks and the tip of your sniffling nose red.

“I don’t want to see you,” you say, voice wobbling. “I didn’t call you, I didn’t ask you to come here.”

Despite the wave of emotion in your words, Nico would have no indication of how much you’re hurting. Your gaze is firm and angry, so compelling that he feels two feet tall even though he’s the one towering over you.

“You can’t honestly think that I’d hear that call and not come,” Nico explains, sighing in disbelief. He pauses, thinks about how his heart fell into his stomach when Timo answered your call on the car bluetooth and you were crying. You sounded so small, so scared and nothing could ever keep Nico from you after hearing that.

Not even his own stupid decisions in the past.

“It’s not you’re right to come here,” you argue, glancing over at Timo who’s decided to give you two space. “You didn’t want me Nico, you made that very clear. You can’t just decide to finally be my hero again because you feel guilty.”

Nico likes to think he’s good at keeping his emotions in check. He can keep his calm, cool demeanor in the face of almost anything.

He can’t right now. Not when all these new and raw feelings were eating at him from the inside out, constantly. And you were acting like he didn’t feel anything for you, like this is fun for him.

“Of course I want you!” He shouts, “You’re the only one I’ve ever want, but I can’t have you!” His outburst catches the attention of some of the college kids milling around the front porch. You huff, taking ahold of his wrist and dragging him back towards the car.

“What do you mean?” You sniffle, wiping at your cheeks and crossing your arms over your chest. “I tried Nico, I was ready to give up everything for you and you sent me packing. You told me what it takes and when I said I could do it, that I wanted to do it, you took it all back.

“The only one who’s kept us apart is you.”

You’re right. And it hurts. Even drunk and upset, it’s clear in your mind what he’s done. He’s turned you away, after asking you for everything, he said no. He’s a hypocrite. A hypocrite that has hurt you so badly he doesn’t even deserve to be standing here in front of you.

But he’s selfish. And he loves you.

“Timo wasn’t supposed to bring you,” you spit, “so leave.”

It’s mean, you’re mean. Nico has no right to be offended by it, but he is. So he smiles, tilts his head all mockingly and pulls open the back door.

“Tough shit baby, this is my car so get in.” He motions for you to move. The pet name stirred something in you, knocked you off your axis because you’re blinking at him with a fresh wave of tears in your eyes.

“Don’t call me that,” you shake your head, eyes fluttering closed and he can see the way your chest rises and falls heavily, the red splotches on your throat.

Guilty, he reaches out for your elbow, wants to touch you, to make it better. His fingers graze your skin, but you move away from him, hugging yourself.

“I hate you,” you whimper, stepping back again and Nico follows. You’ve locked onto that though, crying and wailing that you hate him, you hate him, you hate him. And you’re pushing at his chest and hands, manic as you cry and hit him.

Nico can’t do anything but stand there and take it. He doesn’t even try to catch your swinging fists, lets you hit his chest and shoulders with a strength that’s shocking for how drunk you are.

Timo eventually comes over, when your words have turned to heartbreaking cries and then the hitting stops. He opens his eyes, blurry with tears as his friend wraps you up in his arms, muttering something into your ear. You cry quietly, leaning into Timo as he gets you into the backseat of the car.

Pausing at the door, Timo turns to him, blue eyes ablaze with anger. He’s never looked at Nico like that before. “You were supposed to say sorry or something nice, you fucking idiot. Not mock her.”

“Timo I-“

“Just shut up and drive the fucking car.”

Nico shuts up, goes around to the drivers side. He’s silent as he gets in, silent as he buckles up, silent as he starts it and puts it in drive. You’re all silent, except for the low sounds of you still crying.

Nico glances back, sees you lying in Timo’s lap with a shine of tears over your eyes. Your cheeks are wet and ruddy, bottom lip trembling and Timo strokes through your hair.

“Should I take you home?” Timo asks gently, and Nico looks forward again. He can’t stand looking at you, looking at the mess he made.

“No,” you whimper, “I can’t go home.”

“Why not?” Timo’s so good at this, at being soft and comforting, at speaking to you like you’re the most precious thing. Nico always thought he could be good at that, but he guesses tonight proved that he’s not.

“They’re not my friends.” Your voice cracks, and he can picture the tears rolling down your temples again.

“Sure they are, why wouldn’t they be?”

“Friends don’t say things like that to people they care about.”

Nico thinks maybe you’ve forgotten him, drunk brain too jumbled and hurt to remember he’s the one driving the car. He can’t imagine you’d want to say these things around him.

“What did they say?” Timo asks and you must shake your head or something because he repeats the question, more stern this time.

“They said I was stupid,” you sniffle, embarrassed. Nico wants to turn around, to stomp into that house and show them just how stupid they for saying anything about you. “That I was stupid and naive for following Nico when they told me to run.”

Ouch, Nico winces. He knew they never liked him, pretty much only tolerated him for free drinks at the Rock. He had no idea how many people in your life were saying to leave him.

“They said I deserve to feel like this for giving up everything for him. It’s what I get for being stupid.”

Deserve this? No one deserves this, especially not you. Nico thought you’d thrive without him, that when he found you again you’d have your dream job and a nice apartment and Moose and you’d be happy. That maybe you’d be happy with him again.

Not this. If he knew at all that it’d be like this he never would’ve done it. He can’t even begin to imagine how this happened, how you got like this. He was this important to you?

“You’re not stupid,” Timo assures, “remember we said that? It’s not stupid to give up something for something better?”

Better, you thought he was better than everything you had before. Nico swallows heavily, wiping at his own cheeks because he’s started crying too.

“It’s not a sacrifice if what you got in return is worth more.”

You sniffle, a whimpered noise coming from deep in your chest. “Yeah well now I don’t have him either.”

Timo goes quiet, meets Nico’s crying eyes through the mirror and in that glance Nico knows his friend is about to say the worst thing possible.

“You love him though, and that’s worth it, right?”

You never answer. Nico keeps driving towards Timo place, fighting to see through his own teary eyes. He’s starting to see why Timo’s been so cold lately.

~~~~

Nico didn’t sleep.

He went home and paced. Took a hot shower. Texted Timo to check on you. And then paced some more when he didn’t get an answer.

He laid in bed until the sun came up, stared up at his ceiling and thought of all the nights you slept next to him, that he stared up at the exact same ceiling but you were pressed into his side. Your head on his shoulder, his hand on your hip and he thought “holy fuck, how did I get her here?”

You loved him. That’s how everything got so out of hand. Nico thought he’d caught it sooner, that he called it off before it got that far. But you already loved him and he broke your heart.

He thinks back on it now, if there were signs of you being in love. At the time, he thought you were just like that. Sweet and caring by nature, generous and loving. You weren’t giving him special treatment, you were like that all the time.

Now though, he think maybe he was wrong. He was special to you. And that love he knew was coming for him with impending doom had already settled deep in you.

Idiot, he thinks, knocking on Timo’s door. He’s a fucking idiot and he doesn’t deserve a chance to fix this but he wants one. He wants to fix you. He’s ready to do it.

It’s you that answers the door, eyes still puffy and red. Your hair is tied back in a terribly messy braid, a black shirt and sweats from Timo on your frame. You’ve got no socks on, and Nico internally cringes, knowing how much you hate being barefoot.

“Timo’s asleep,” you say, not looking at him but rather at his chest.

“I came for you,” he says, and then he’s holding out the matcha latte he got for you. One from that cafe under his apartment, the one you love so much because they carry the pistachio flavoring you like in your drinks.

You take the cup, holding it awkwardly in your hand as you stand in the doorway.

“I don’t really want to talk to you.”

Oh, Nico doesn’t really have any argument for that. To be honest, he thought you’d be mad enough for another round to fight with him.

“You were mean last night,” you say quietly, dropping your gaze to his shoes.

“I was scared,” he says in a lame excuse. “You being like, it scared me. I didn’t-I’ve never seen you like that.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, looking up at him through your eyelashes. He sees the moment you notice the bruise on his jaw, eyes frowning with a guilt you shouldn’t carry. “Did I do that?”

He shakes his head. “No, that was…I’ve been working a lot.”

“Oh.”

“You got me pretty good on the shoulder though.”

Nico tries to smile, hoping it would make you too. Instead you look at him, eyes locking on the dimple in his cheek and you’re looking away again.

“I used to be able to take care of myself,” you mumble, almost ashamed. “I just never thought you’d be on the other end of it.”

Nico swallows, watches the way condensation is building on your fingers from holding your drink. The ice is melting.

“Will you walk with me?” He asks, desperate. “Please y/n?”

Maybe it’s the way his voice shakes, or that he’s using your real name, but you finally look at him. Then you nod just once. “Let me find my shoes.” The door closes on him and he’s left waiting outside, like an idiot in love.

~~~~

You walk next to him along the water front, finally sipping on the latte he got you. He wants to reach out for your hand, wants to wipe away the little bit of foam on your lip but you get it before he can.

It’s awkward, the way you won’t look at him and he can’t stop looking at you. Manhattan stands tall behind you, towering across the river and glinting in the morning sun. Nico wishes he could take a picture of you, with your drink and your messy hair and the pretty background.

He loves you.

Now he just needs to say it out loud.

“I wasn’t lying last night,” he finally says. “When I said that I’ve always wanted you. I’ll always want you.

You don’t miss a beat. “Why’d you lie to me?”

He frowns, wonders what the hell you’re talking about. You look at him, raising an eyebrow.

“When you broke up with me, you said I wasn’t what you want.”

Nico thinks back to that day in the car when he’d dropped you off for the last time, tries to remember everything he said.

“It’s not what I want either.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Nico gasps, mentally kicking himself. You thought he meant he didn’t want you, this whole time. “I meant that I didn’t-I didn’t want you to want me.”

You stop walking, furious as you glare at him in the middle of the sidewalk. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I wanted you,” he begins, soft and careful with his words. He can’t screw this up again, can’t hurt you like before. “I could feel it, the way you fit with me so perfectly. But I was-I was just a fucking kid with a lot of money and no idea how to grow up. I never had a reason to grow up.

“I couldn’t be selfish and drag you into that. What kind of man would I be if I brought you into a life like that? It wasn’t safe, I couldn’t protect you.”

You look him up and down, those pretty lips of yours pulled into a frown and your eyebrows pinched with anger. “So what? You grew up in a month? You’re finally an adult now?”

A lady runs by, scoffing and glaring as she ducks around the two fighting in her path. Nico huffs, flipping her off. She gasps, outraged and before Nico can tell her to fuck off you’re shoving his hand down.

He looks back to you, eyes guilty and pleading. “No, I mean yeah. I just needed time baby, I need to make sure that I could do this with you.”

Another couple is coming by, and he reached for your hand. You don’t shake him off when he pulls you off to the side and into the grass, away from everyone. He lets go of you before you have the satisfaction of rejecting his touch.

“You did all this just because you needed time?” You laugh, humorlessly. Then you’re stalking away, and he follows after you like an idiot, tripping on his feet because he thinks you’ve really given up on him this time.

You’re just throwing your drink away though, turning to find him stumbling after you. His desperation must show because you soften, letting out a careful sigh as he holds his breath.

“I wasn’t asking you to marry me Nico,” you say, “I just wanted to be with you.”

“I know that,” he agrees, ashamed as he looks down at his feet. “But I wasn’t getting in this to be with you for just a bit. I knew once I officially had you that I could never let you go, so yeah I needed to be ready.”

He looks up and to his horror you’re crying again, tears reflecting the morning light and cheeks red. Nico can’t stop himself this time, can’t ignore what his hearts been telling him to do for weeks now. His hand finds your hip, drawing you into him and you go easily, like you’ve been waiting for it too.

It’s perfect, the way you fit into his chest. Your hands tucked between you and him, perfectly in the curve at the base of his ribs, head in the junction of his neck and shoulder. Safe. Protected. You shudder, a sound of content leaving you and then you’re crying again, like all you needed to know was that you’re safe to be vulnerable here.

“I would’ve waited for you,” you hiccup into his hoodie, and he squeezes his eyes shut, fighting back his own tears. His nose presses into the top of your head, breathing in the smell of you and the faint smell of Timo lingering on your clothes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve waited.”

He shakes his head, holds you tighter. “I couldn’t ask you to do that. What if it took me longer? What if it had taken me years? No I wanted you to be you, to use your degree and that big brain of yours and be happy. And that way when it was our time again, you’d be ready.”

You wail even more, the sound hurting something deep in his chest. “I was ready,” you swear, “I was ready for you Nico. I didn’t want anything else. I’ve been waiting anyway, haven’t I?”

He doesn’t know what to say, what else to do. So he just holds you, shushing you quietly. He waits until you’re sniffling, calming down before speaking again.

“I didn’t know, I didn’t know you loved me until last night. Baby you have to know I would’ve done it differently if I knew.”

Much to his dismay, you pull back just enough to look at him, chin pressed into his chest. Your eyelashes are dark and clumped together, lips red and raw. “I still do,” you murmur. “I have for a long time.”

Nico winces, sucking in a breath. You still haven’t said it, not really but he knows that you’re going to. He needs to say it first though.

Licking his lips, he blinks back tears. “I love you,” he whispers, “I love you so much it’s all consuming and it’s dangerous and I’ve been miserable without you.”

“I can’t fix you Nico,” you mumble sadly, “if you decide that you suddenly can’t do this again I won’t- I can’t fix you.”

“You don’t need to fix me,” he promises, “I did it all. I did the work, I fixed me. And I love you.”

Shockingly, you laugh. A beautiful and wet giggle that has you shaking against his chest. You’re smiling at him though, bright and oh so pretty. “I know Nico,” you roll your eyes, teasingly. “I’ve known you loved me since January.”

His birthday, he thinks. You threw him a party, brought him a gift. The only one of them to do so, even his friends since childhood had never done that. They always said it wasn’t something they think he’d like. You knew though, and you wanted to do it for him.

Yeah, he thinks you’re right. Even if he didn’t know it at the time.

“I was really stupid then,” he mumbles, brushing your hair away from your wet cheeks. “Breaking up with you like that when you already knew.”

“Yeah you were a fucking idiot.” You agree, and he frowns, only the tiniest bit offended. But then you’re wiggling an arm out to wrap it around his back, fingers gripping the hem of his hoodie at the small of his back. “But you’re my idiot, right?”

Nico brushes a kiss to your forehead, nodding “I’m your idiot, if you’ll still have me.”

You scoff, like it’s the dumbest thing he’s ever said. Truth is, it’s not. Not by a long shot. “Of course I’ll still have you.”

He hums, laying his cheek on your head and closing his eyes. He wants to soak this in, feel you with him exactly where you’re supposed to be. Your nose ghosts over his cheek, lips right where that bruise on his jaw is.

“You didn’t move on?” You ask him, almost afraid to hear the answer. Nico thinks maybe you’re stupid too, for thinking he could ever move on.

“No,” he assures, “I was only trying to catch up with you.”

You kiss his jaw, just once. A soft little butterfly kiss to the bruise there. Goosebumps raise on his skin, mouth aching to feel yours. He doesn’t dare move a muscle. “Did you? Move on at all?”

Your hand finds his chest, pressing back until you part enough to see him. “Not a single bit,” you say, “even if I wanted to I couldn’t.”

He smiles. “Good.” You rise to your toes, mouth just a breath away from his. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wonders if you brushed your teeth this morning. If the hangover stopped you, if the heartbreak did. He doesn’t really care though.

“I love you Nico.”

Nico doesn’t know if it’s possible to physically hear how own heart break, opening up for you in a way he’s never done before. It’s hurts in the best way possible, scary but beautiful. He sniffles, leaning in and finally kissing you.

It’s soft and sweet, a short kiss but so worth it after so long of not having you. That crack in his chest throbs, soothed by the feeling of you holding your hand over his heartbeat. You love him.

You’re smiling so wide when he opens his eyes again, falling back to the balls of your feet and beaming up at him. You’ve always looked at him with so much warmth, so much joy. Like he’s the sun and you’re the flower chasing after him, growing in his attention.

“I missed that pretty smile.” He murmurs, and you laugh, wet and broken but happy. “Can’t believe I get to see it again.”

“Yeah well you’re not off the hook that easily.” You murmur, moving to wrap yourself around his arm. Then you’re pulling him back onto the sidewalk, walking back towards Timo’s place. “Get me breakfast. And Timo too please.”

Nico squeezes your hand, looking forward with a smile. “Yes ma’am.”

#mob boss nico hischier #nico hischier #new jersey devils #him and i chats #him and i #nj devils #fluff #angst #nhl

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bluem1lls · 13 hours ago

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HEYY, I LOVE UR WRITINGG

i have an idea where thanos flirts with reader and immediately reject him, giving him a dirty look or just being rude to him. se-mi is around there so when reader sees her their entire expression changes, giving her a smile or something like that idk 😭

it doesn't have to be exact to that, just take the idea of u like it and use it however u want!!

✦ content: short fluff, how you met your girlfriend at the game while rejecting her friend!

✦ authors note: thank you so much! i was just rewatching and i kept thinking about this idea so i wrote a short fluff, i hope you like it! thank you for your request♥️

⋆｡°✩ ever since the games started, you've been along player 120 and player 095. until the third game, where you lost them out of sight. as you heard "group of 5", you kept thinking that maybe this was your last round.

⋆｡°✩ i mean there was nothing else to do.. right?

⋆｡°✩ until a girl pulled your hand, and somehow you ended up in a room with a purple hair guy, his weird best friend, this girl and a guy who seemed to be her friend.

⋆｡°✩ she leaned against the wall, catching her breath, crossing her arms on her chest while staring at you. she has nice piercings.

⋆｡°✩ "well, well, well... look at what the wind brought us. a new friend" the purple haired guy spoke, looking at me. "i'm thanos, and who brought this pretty thing?"

you rolled my eyes, trying to copy the brunnete's position.

turning your head to look at her, her piercing gaze stays on you.

"thanks..."

"se-mi" she introduced herself.

"i thought i was about to die out there, thanks se-mi" i said to the girl.

she nodded, thano's best friend chuckled.

"we've been trying to get her name for days, but a pretty girl shows up and that's the first thing she tells her"

i snort as she rolls her eyes and scoffs, mumbling something that sounded like "idiot".

⋆｡°✩ of course you couldn't stop talking to her after the third game ended.

⋆｡°✩ eating with her, chatting and even laughing. it was easy to forget about everything when you were with her.

⋆｡°✩ but sadly, you could never find her alone. if she didn't had min-su following her around, thanos and nam-gyu were teasing her. so that meant you always had to chat with them too, as you tried (really hard) to get her alone.

⋆｡°✩ "doll face, came to hear your boy throwing a few lines?" thanos said getting closer to where me and se-mi were sitting down.

"oh my god" i covered my face as i hear her laughing. "i like talking to you so much, but i dont know if it's worth... this" i pointed at thanos.

she smiled, her arm sneaked to rest on my shoulders.

"it's worth every penny. althought you may wanna tell him that you're not really going for boys" she whispered in my ear. i softly laughed as i stare at her. she's so pretty. and her friends so annoying.

"prettiest girls in the planet, listen out, this one's for you-" thanos started.

"listen" i cut him mid-sentence. "you're such a fun, amazing guy" i said, standing up and placing my hands on his shoulder. "and i bet any girl would be so lucky dating you"

he nodded, proud of himself, as se-mi stared smirking.

"but i think there's something that would make you even a better person" i said looking at him, straight in the eyes. "leave to a corner and please let me have ten minutes alone so i can flirt with se-mi"

⋆｡°✩ his expression quickly fell as se-mi and nam-gyu snorted.

"so im not about to be your boy-"

"you're not. i'm not into guys, thanos. but you're...so...nice"

⋆｡°✩ he quickly understood. apparently. at least he went away along with his best friend. it was more than enough.

⋆｡°✩ "so.. can we go back to the flirting part?" se-mi said, her smile never fading as she played with her lip piercing.

"yeah, i think we finally can" i said, dragging her to sit with me in one of the beds.

⋆｡°✩ no need to clarify anything else. the guys understood when the next time they saw you, se-mi was hugging you from behind, resting her chin on your shoulder.

⋆｡°✩ se-mi couldn't stop teasing thanos for falling for two times for two lesbians girls, which always ended up with him telling her how he'd release a rap called 'revenge is sweeter than girls' against her once they were out of here.

⋆｡°✩ you believe him. you'll hear more about it once you're out of here, holding your girlfriend's hand.

#se mi x reader #se-mi x reader #player 380 x reader #player 380 #se-mi #se mi #squid games #squid games 2 #squid games x reader #lesbian #wlw #fluff

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sorchathered · 13 hours ago

Text

Got my sights set on you- Jake Seresin x reader

Pairing- Jake “Hangman” Seresin x reader

Warnings-language, drinking, Jake being a massive flirt

A/N- I don’t have much of a summary for this, just clearing out my wips for you all and found this little gem I wrote last summer! Hope you enjoy!

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If there was one thing you knew about Jake Seresin it was that he was a massive flirt. Men, women, non-binary, didn’t much matter your gender he was a tease and everyone knew it. Lately he’d set his sights on you, and he was relentless. You had to admit you liked the attention, and dropping him down a peg with snappy comments was always entertaining. You enjoyed the banter between the two of you, it had been fun and games until one night you noticed another girl from the bar had seemed to catch his attention, pulling out all the stops for her instead of sitting and chatting you up. It shouldn’t have bothered you, it was just a game right? Neither of you had ever made a move and he had every right to talk to whoever he pleased. Rooster could see through all your bullshit, sidling up next to you as he followed your eyeline to Jake and the brunette that seemed to have him enthralled in conversation.

“So Vixen, when you gonna admit to yourself that this little thing you’ve got going with Hangman is more than a schoolgirl crush?” You glared up at him and opened your mouth to snap at him but it died in your throat when you saw the sympathetic look on his face, you hated that he could see how transparent you were. “It was just a crush, really, I thought I just enjoyed the back and forth but… shit rooster what am I supposed to do here? It’s Hangman we’re talking about, he doesn’t do relationships, and in the end I’ll just get hurt so what’s the point?” You cradled your head in your hands against the bar top as Bradley patted your shoulder. “Kid I hate to be the one to burst your doom bubble but if you gave that man the time of day he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. I've seen him when he’s just looking for a hook up and that’s not what this is with you. He may be chatting that girl up but he won’t take her home, in fact I don’t think he’s taken anyone home in months, most of the time he just moons over you. I bet if you walked over there right now and told him to take you home he’d be putty in your hands, you wield more power than you know honey.”

You rolled your eyes at him, there was no way in hell he was into you like that, but as rooster passed you a shot of tequila you glanced back at Jake and he was looking right at you. Fuck it, you were going for it. Tossing back the shot you squared your shoulders and swayed your hips as you walked towards him, he wasn’t paying a bit of attention to the girl talking his ear off anymore, eyes completely focused on you. “Hey Vix, haven’t seen you all night-“ he said as you pressed yourself between him and the brunette, shock crossing his features as you waved her off.

“Uh we were talking!”

“And now you’re not, see how that works?”

You hit her with an icy glare and blessedly little miss tag chaser seemed to take the hint, off to lick her wounds with god knows who. That wasn’t your business or your problem. Right now you need to keep the momentum going and get your man.

“So a little birdie told me that I should shoot my shot, how about it, Seresin? You talk a big game, wanna take me home?” For once in your life Jake Seresin was at a loss for words, mouth opening and closing like a fish, completely in shock.

“Uh-I- yeah-yeah absolutely. Sweet Jesus darlin’ please don’t fuck with me, I don’t know if my heart can take it.” The cocksure grin is back, but you can tell he’s still unsure, so you slide even closer and press your lips to his. It starts out completely innocent, just reassurance that you are actually into him, but you quickly remember who you’re dealing with and Jake Seresin certainly isn’t all talk, sliding one hand into your hair and the other into the back pocket of your jeans, running his tongue along your lips as you give him entrance, letting him make out with you right here in the middle of the bar, where all your coworkers can see.

You can hear whoops and whistles from your friends and it breaks you both apart, taking in deep breaths between your giggles. “Still up for taking me home?” You whisper as you smooth your hands through his golden hair, and where you expect more sexual innuendo and banter you’re left with something more. He smiles down at you and kisses your nose, the look he’s giving is melting you from the inside out, maybe Rooster was right; maybe this wasn’t just fun and games. “I can definitely take you home sugar, but I don’t want just a hook up from you, I’m thinking tomorrow you let me take you on a real date, you deserve to be treated to all the bells and whistles baby girl.” If you gave him the chance he’d wife you up on the spot if he was honest, but he’d give you some time before he told you all the ideas he had for the future.

You looked a little shell shocked at that, sure he’d been flirty but he’d never once made you think he was interested in more than a night or two.

“I can see the wheels turning in that pretty head y/n, don’t overthink it baby, just let me show you how good I can be.”

And he was, in fact, very good.

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Tagging- @roosterforme @shanimallina87 @jessicab1991 @honeytwrites @heavenssins @dizzybee03 @kissmecaitie @sio-ina-bottle @sunsetsimpsblog @mynameismckenziemae @trickphotography2 @seitmai @callsigns-haze

#top gun maverick #top gun maverick fanfiction #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you

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blueberrypancakesworld · 3 days ago

Text

You are never a mistake

Dmitri Smerdyakov x betrothed!reader

warning : kissing, hurt/comfort, cuddling, emotional, abuse (beating), family problems

Summary : Dmitri thought for a moment that he would be accepted by his father, but when he felt the blow and his wife's intervention almost backfired, the Kravinoff son realized that he had to become strong, not weak. For his love, for someone who loved him as he was, he himself would stand up to his father no matter what a disappointment he was.

info : Finally the first one-shot for Dmitri the cute little beaten up bastard who just needs a little love. I hope you enjoy reading ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many couples around the world meet in cafes while they are both reaching for coffee, looking for life books in the library.

Maybe at a party or through friends, there are moments that last forever and are cherished when you find your partner for life, a relationship that becomes a marriage and an eternal bond with the exchange of rings.

Something that symbolized love and strength a bond when you had your own family maybe even about to start and then there were still the couples that met and a shadow seemed to lie over them forever, a shadow that had a name and didn't even seem to be happy for the love of their own child.

The first time they had met was in their music store, the best and biggest in New York, a store for the elite and those who could afford it.

An old family store that was the heart of every musician and singer from strings to wind instruments to keys and to microphones and stands.

A business that adapted to the talent.

Behind the counter, glancing up every now and then to greet the new buyers, she had seen him first, the slightly wavy blond hair, the cute nose, the little smile on his lips and the gentle demeanor.

The first time she had seen him, she had dared to leave her seat and come to him, seeing how he looked a little lost as he stood in the piano section.

She knew the feeling of being lost in a place you were interested in, not quite knowing whether to move or stand still.

The first time she had heard him play in her shop was the day she no longer saw her customer as just a customer, she saw his strength, his art, his beauty as he seemed to be absorbed in playing the piano.

There was a talent, a dedication in it and his voice, that voice she could have listened to for hours, made her hum along even when it seemed to be just the two of them in her shop.

,,A wonderful talent, really beautiful" her praise came from the purest heart...but for him, for Dmitri Kravinoff, it was the first time anyone had recognized him in what he was good at.

It was the first time for Nikolai's son that someone had inspired him in what he did and it was the first time that he lost his heart to her on the spot.

The day they exchanged numbers so that he could deliver the piano she had chosen to the club and also so that he could take her out for a meal at the end of the day.

It was on that day that two people had found each other and that only some time later it was more than just a relationship and fleeting dates, it was a bond between the two young people to whom the world was open...or so it seemed at first glance.

For the first few months it was like that, moving in together, partying, having fun, traveling everywhere, gifts that went from expensive to cheap to homemade and then to something more intimate the more they opened up and trusted each other.

The more she realized who his family was, what he was, but most of all what he had experienced, his ,,I-I understand if you hate me now...I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to leave” surprised her but most of all hurt her that he gave up on him so easily.

That her talented, precious, wonderful, gentle Dmitri, who kissed her on the forehead every morning, who did everything you could do with her and who dedicated every song in his club to her with such love and kindness, thought so little of himself.

Who had hurt him so much?

Who hurt him so much that every loud noise made him flinch, that he almost cried during an argument over trivial things and how he hated it when animal documentaries came on TV, little things she would have overlooked but with what she knew she just wanted to hold him in her arms.

Who had hurt him so much that he saw himself as nothing, which she tried to talk him out of every time ,,Dmitri my beautiful star I don't care who your family is, it's us who are together and not your last name” she tried to explain to him that he was the most important thing she had.

That her kisses and hugs, her words and gestures had the same loving effect as he had on her, that they had each other and when she threatened to kiss him every time he thought something like that again.

Dmitri finally seemed to find his smile again, ,,Do it," he just said, and he pulled her into a kiss as they lay cuddled together on the couch.

Together they gave each other the support they needed, Dmitri kept her motivation up whenever she wanted to give up with her msuik and she lovingly told him every day how good he was, that he was loved and above all that he was not alone.

The two of them in the club they had built with Dmitri's family money was their common pride, a club for the rich customers of the city.

A club where she could recommend her regular customers and the best entertainment was guaranteed with his piano and singing as well as her violin playing which made for a pleasant atmosphere.

Almost every evening, the two of them stood on the small stage and performed their harmony, ,,I dedicate this song to my beautiful fiancée,” he announced, while she joined in with her violin and the soft music amused the guests.

His blue eyes kept going to her, the smile was returned and she gave him a wordless ,,I love you” which he reciprocated, it couldn't have been better for the couple... until the moment when Dmitri's eyes fell on a man, a certain someone who came into his club and almost made the Russian play the wrong music.

With a hand movement that made the music continue to play by itself from the equipment hanging on the walls, and she saw how he smoothed out his jacket.

Everything will be fine, she thought he wanted to tell him, but he had already gone to his father, who had sat down in one of the recesses in the walls, looking directly at the stage from which she also came down to follow her fiancé.

Nikoali was a man of strength, a man you didn't want to mess with and yet there was no avoiding him, ,,Father, we're glad you're here, can I offer you something?” Dmitri asked and got a hug and a gesture she didn't get instead Nikolai gave the back of her hand a kiss and she gave him a quick friendly look.

It seemed that Dmitri was the only thing keeping her future father-in-law from killing her-what a luck.

But as long as Dmitri was happy and had his father, the two should get along, ,,I'll get a few glasses,” she let the men know as Nikolai gave his son a bottle of expensive wine.

A gift of value not from the heart but it made no sense to the son his father was here and happy that was all that mattered...so she thought.

It was just a moment when she pulled out the wine glasses in the kitchen at the back of the club, not wanting to take any more advantage of the waiters who had a long shift ahead of them.

The glasses in her hands and a smile on her lips, she heard the muffled noise and a crash, rushing back into the main room she saw Nikolai had pushed Dmitri against a wall, knocking over the table and no one was doing anything.

,,Dmitri! Let him go!” she shouted at the older man, afraid that he would seriously hurt his son, because the horrible stories that sent shivers down her spine told her everything she needed to know about the underworld boss.

Her fiancé's attempts to get free were unsuccessful, so without hesitation she picked up one of the glasses and threw it against the wall next to Nikolai, ,,Let him go and get out of our club,” she continued to threaten.

An empty threat that amused the dark-haired man, who was already lifting the next glass when he let go of his son, who slumped to the floor, barely able to support himself.

,,Even your bitch has more courage than you, shame on you,” Nikolai said to his son and walked past her with an appraising look, hurrying to her fiancé as soon as the door closed and he fell onto the nearest chair, ,,Are you all right? To the hospital?” she asked, trying to wipe the blood from his lip with a slapped hand from the blow his father had given him.

He looked terrified, as if all joy and hope had drained out of him once more, but he just shook his head before he simply poured out a tearful ,,You're fine” into her arms and she embraced the couple just lying in each other's arms for a few moments.

They held each other until Dmitri calmed down and his tears had stopped, the decision to close the club early was hardly one because it looked like a mob had gone wild there and not just Nikolai, ,,Your heart is too big for the world,” she told him as they rode back to the apartment together in a cab.

Her hand didn't leave his and stroking his head at least reassured him but the look in his eyes, she had never seen such hatred, whether it was just the confrontation or something else she couldn't say.

Whatever it was it seemed to keep him occupied the whole time no matter what they both did, no amount of embracing or kissing could break his blcik until the moment they lay in bed together.

She cuddled up to him and he gave her a good after kiss she couldn't shake the feeling that something else was going to happen.

Even though she felt safe in his arms, he stroked her side until she fell asleep like he did every night, usually soothing them both, the sound of the door opening and closing was something she didn't realize, didn't realize how Dmitri had to do something.

It was one thing when he was pushed around, he had been pushed around all his life but now that he had his fiancée he wouldn't let his father get away with it.

Knowing she was safe in the apartment sleeping peacefully, it was the Kravinoff who set off through the city at night to his father and it was only the clanging and rattling of cupboards that woke his fiancée from her slumber.

,,Dmitri?” the question came cautiously as she groped beside her but he wasn't there, but the sounds from the apartment frightened her.

No one had a key except for the two of them, pulling the covers aside she reached for the water bottle next to her bed, quietly and carefully venturing out of the bedroom, she saw the shadow in the hallway that seemed to be raging in the kitchen.

She should have called the police, anyone, but what if Dmitri was in danger?

She was ready to sleep with the bottle tighter if ever, she cried out in fear when she saw Dmitri, who seemed to be looking for something in the kitchen and looked completely exhausted, ,,What the hell? Dmitri darling what are you doing?” she asked putting the bottle down.

Seeing the torn clothes, the fuzzy hair, the black eye but most of all the bloody knuckles as if he had hit himself or better said as if someone had hit him.

Seeing what he had failed to find, however, she grabbed the first aid kit and went with him to the couch, ,,I well...I told my father never to insult you again and then there was a little altercation” he began to confess as she gave a makeshift dressing to his wounds which fortunately did not require stitches or hospitalization.

His courage touched her as she realized that he had pushed away the person he had once needed the most for her, ,,I've never loved you more and well...next time we'll both beat him up” she suggested and felt the kiss he gave her as they both laughed at the idea.

But in his eyes the look of gentleness and love was there again and not the hate ,,I love you too" he replied and she pressed a kiss to the bandage on his hand which should make the pain less.

At least Dmitri didn't seem to be in pain, not when they kissed, not when she continued to nurse him and he proudly told her how he had told his father off, and not when his hand stroked the engagement ring on her hand as they made love and finally seemed free of the gray of the Kravinoff family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @tori111777 , @bel0ved-heretic , @amecchii , @xxxibgdrgons , @lordbelzeebub , @simonsrealwife

#kraven the hunter #marvel cinematic universe #dmitri smerdyakov #dmitri smerdyakov x reader #kraven the hunter movie #male x female #reader is female #fred hechinger

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