#i hope this was okay!!!! and what you had in mind!! i had to change the dialogue a lil bit to make it sound more remy to me i dunno

[izzih22]

you should definitely do a fic of pazzi of when they get into a heated argument (slamming doors , screaming 😼) then one of them ignore or give the other silent treatment for like a day or two. then like they make up and js cute fluff ! I rlly hope that makes sense and you see the vision ykyk😛

The Worst Way to Love You

Note: I hope I got it right also here y’all go stay active pleas and thank you

They’ve been together for years—since high school, since long-distance flights and FaceTimes that lasted until sunrise. They know each other better than they know themselves.

Which is why it hurts so much when they fight.

Because no one else can cut you open like the person who’s memorized every piece of you.

⸻

Thursday, 9:12 p.m. – UConn Dorms

Azzi’s sitting on the edge of their bed, back straight, jaw clenched, arms crossed over her chest. She’s been trying to stay calm. She’s always the calm one.

Paige is standing with her arms thrown up in exasperation, pacing.

“So now I’m selfish? That’s what we’re doing?” Paige’s voice is sharp, edged in disbelief.

“I didn’t say selfish,” Azzi replies, controlled but cold. “I said inconsiderate.”

“That’s the same thing!”

“No, it’s not. It means you don’t think about how your actions affect other people—me. You just do what you want, and I’m left trying to adjust around you.”

Paige’s eyes flash. “That’s not fair.”

“Neither is always being the one who bends!” Azzi fires back, louder now, standing. “I rearranged everything this week so I could be there for your appointment and then you just… bailed. No text. No call. Nothing.”

Paige runs a hand through her hair, jaw tight. “I forgot! I had weights, and then Geno pulled me for film, and—”

“You forgot?” Azzi repeats. “That’s your excuse?”

Paige’s hands drop to her sides. “I’m not perfect, Az.”

Azzi laughs without humor. “I never asked you to be. I just want to matter enough that you remember I exist outside of practice.”

There it is.

The sentence that slices Paige straight down the middle.

“You know you matter to me,” she says, quieter now, but it’s sharp, desperate. “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like you’re just some afterthought—”

“Then why do I always feel like I come last?”

The silence that falls is suffocating.

And Paige—Paige who’s always so quick with words, with fire—says nothing.

Azzi’s eyes are glassy now, but she doesn’t cry. Not yet. “You get to be everything for everyone. The leader, the hero, the player who carries us. But I’m the one who’s always here when you burn out. And I don’t mind—I love you—but it gets lonely when the only time you need me is when you’re falling apart.”

Paige’s voice is barely a whisper. “That’s not true.”

But Azzi just nods once. “Okay.”

And walks into the bathroom. Closes the door.

Paige stares at it.

And then turns around, walks to the front door, and leaves.

⸻

Friday Morning – Silent

They don’t speak.

Azzi makes tea for herself. No extra mug.

Paige comes back after class and doesn’t even change in their room.

They go to practice and Paige leads warmups like nothing’s wrong—voice loud, encouragement booming—but no one misses how she doesn’t look at Azzi once.

Azzi doesn’t flinch when Geno yells at her. Doesn’t smile when Ice makes a joke. She’s locked in. Focused.

But not with Paige. Not beside her, like always.

The team doesn’t ask. But Morgan mutters to Aubrey, “They’re too synced. When something’s off, it messes with the whole vibe.”

Aubrey hums. “It’s like the moon fighting the sun.”

⸻

Friday Night – 11:38 p.m.

Paige is curled up on the couch, hoodie pulled over her head, scrolling through old photos.

Her finger pauses on one: Azzi asleep in Paige’s hoodie, curled against her chest in a hotel room during their sophomore year. Paige remembers the way Azzi had mumbled “I love you” in her sleep.

She presses the screen to her chest, eyes wet.

She wants to say she’s sorry.

But they’ve been here before—where love feels like too much and not enough all at once. Where they push because they’re scared. Where they hurt each other, not out of hate, but because they love so hard and don’t always know what to do with it.

⸻

Saturday – All Day

They don’t text. They don’t fight. They don’t speak.

It’s worse than yelling.

Paige doesn’t sleep. Azzi doesn’t eat.

KK walks into the locker room after a solo shootaround and sees Paige staring at the floor, earbuds in but no music playing.

“She’s not okay,” KK says later.

Ice snorts. “You think?”

⸻

Saturday Night – 10:01 p.m.

Azzi walks into the room after dinner with her mom. She pauses in the doorway.

Paige is sitting on the bed—her bed—knees pulled to her chest.

She looks up.

Azzi doesn’t move.

And then Paige’s voice cracks. “I didn’t forget because I didn’t care. I forgot because everything’s moving so fast and I’m overwhelmed and I didn’t want to ask you to carry more of my weight.”

Azzi says nothing.

So Paige keeps going.

“I let everyone down if I drop the ball. Geno. The team. The program. I can’t let them see me slip. But with you… I don’t want you to see me like that either.”

Now Azzi steps in.

“But I already have. I know you like that, Paige. Messy. Tired. Stubborn. You’re not too much for me. You never have been.”

Paige’s eyes fill. “I just didn’t want to keep being the one who needs. I want to show up for you, too.”

Azzi kneels in front of her, hands on Paige’s knees. “Then let me in before you fall. Not after.”

There’s a pause.

And then Paige folds.

She slides down, presses her forehead to Azzi’s shoulder, and breaks.

“I missed you,” she whispers.

“I missed you too.”

“I was scared you wouldn’t come back.”

Azzi wraps her arms around her tightly. “There’s nowhere else I’d go.”

⸻

Later

They’re tangled in bed, Paige clinging to Azzi like her anchor. Azzi strokes her back, slow and soothing.

“I said some stuff I didn’t mean,” Paige whispers. “About not needing you.”

Azzi kisses her temple. “I knew you didn’t mean it. That’s why I didn’t leave.”

“You’re the only thing that makes all the pressure worth it.”

Azzi smiles against her hair. “You’re not a burden, Paige. You’re mine.”

Paige sniffles. “Even when I’m a disaster?”

“Especially then.”

⸻

Sunday – Practice

They’re back to moving as one.

Paige’s energy is electric. Azzi’s calm cuts through it like a blade. And when Geno calls a timeout, he mutters to KK, “Looks like the wives made up.”

KK grins. “Balance restored.”

Paige and Azzi fist-bump after a perfect backdoor cut.

And maybe Paige kisses Azzi in the tunnel when no one’s looking.

But that’s just between them.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Vil Schoenheit - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Beside Mister S's Mystery Shop]

[students clamor outside shop]

Vil: Sigh… What a waste of a trip. This is what happens after I made the effort to come all the way here?

Deuce: Schoenheit-senpai, hello! That was a pretty big sigh… Did something happen?

Vil: I had just come by Sam's shop here to pick up something I ordered and there happens to be a sign posted on the door saying he's not in right now.

Deuce: Eh!? Really? Man… I had some shopping I had to do for my dorm, too.

Vil: It said he'll return within 30 minutes, but I have plans after this already. Unfortunate…

Vil: Especially since I don't have much free time what with the birthday party we're throwing at our dorm tomorrow for my birthday. I guess I'll have to come back another day…

Deuce: Oh, is it your birthday tomorrow? Then, I can pick it up for you!

Deuce: I gotta buy some stuff of my own anyway, so think of me doing this as my gift to you.

Vil: Well now, if you say so, I'd like that. Would you be able to bring my merchandise to my dormitory after classes tomorrow?

Vil: If you time it right, you may even attend my birthday party.

Deuce: The party!? I mean, I guess I am curious what kind of food you guys'd serve… But is it okay that I join, even if I'm from a different dorm?

Vil: I don't mind whatsoever. I'll let the party planner know. I appreciate you picking up my order. See you later, then.

[Pomefiore Dorm – Ballroom]

Vil: ―98, 99, 100! Whew…

[door opens, Rook greets Vil]

Vil: …What terrifyingly perfect timing, Rook. I had just finished my exercises for the day.

Vil: Then, go ahead and start your report. The first matter at hand are the equipment requests? I see. Show me their applications. I'll look over them.

[flips pages]

Vil: ―I see no issues; I'll submit them as is. How are the ballroom reservation requests looking?

[Rook speaks]

Vil: …Oh, there seems to be quite a lot this week. Have you already put out a coordination notice? Good.

Vil: This ballroom is a place that allows our students to refine themselves even further… So we should do what we can so that they can use it as much as possible.

Vil: We can use the schedule you laid out without any changes, Rook. Next topic.

Vil: Have the students who were cited during last week's surprise dorm uniform inspection fixed their attire?

[Rook speaks]

Vil: Everyone successfully passed re-inspection? Good… As proud Pomefiore students, I do hope that no one fails next time.

Vil: Alright, we'll call it there for today. I'll go take a shower and head back to my room.

[Pomefiore Dorm – Hallway]

Vil: …Whew. I dislike how I can't take my time with my skincare regimen while using a shared washroom.

Vil: It's enough of a struggle just trying to spray my lotion enough across my body. I should head back quickly to finish the rest of my care routine.

[Pomefiore Dorm – Vil's Room]

[door slams, Vil rushes in]

Vil: The sooner I can apply the rest of my skincare after taking a shower, the better my skin will look tomorrow…!

Vil: I took in an abundance of the sun's rays today during flight class, so my top priority would be to mitigate any UV damage!

Vil: I'll apply this beauty cream with a cooling factor thoroughly by hand first… Next comes the face pack.

Vil: The air was rather dry today, so I'll use one with moisturizing cream.

Vil: I need to apply it quickly so as to not let the cream's moisture dry up. Quickly, gently, smoothly… Use a spatula to carefully make everything fall into place…!

Vil: Whew. That should be enough. Now I'll leave it on for 15 minutes…

[sets alarm]

Vil: Now then, time waits for no one. I should finish "this" up while I wait to take off the face pack.

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Vil: Improvements, hm… I know I have many things I'd want to ask for. Above all else, I am sorely in need of a shower and washbasin installed in my room.

Vil: I can't say I'm fond of doing only the minimal care I can in that shared space and rushing back to my room to finish everything else.

Vil: I wouldn't even be so egregious as to ask it for every single room. Even if it were only my… the Housewarden's room, that would be enough.

Vil: To be perfectly frank, I would like my own personal ballroom, as well as a heated pool, sauna, and jacuzzi…

Vil: It would be perfect if I could have an oxygen chamber, as well. That is a vital piece of equipment for our dormitory's pursuit of beauty.

Vil: Who knows how seriously that Headmage of ours would be taking the responses to this survey…

Vil: However, nothing will happen if I don't make the request in the first place. "I would like a shower and washbasin in the Housewarden's room."

[alarm beeps]

Vil: Oh, it's time. Time to take off the face pack. I'll soak a cotton ball with the moisturizer, and gently, carefully pull it off… Hum-de-dum♪

Vil: Perfect. I am still so beautiful today. I'll finish with a massage to help with blood circulation.

Vil: Start with the forehead, then around the eyes, nose, mouth and the face line in turn… Gently massage the treatment oil in…

Vil: …That should be it for skincare. Next, I'll focus on each body part individually.

Vil: This body cream doesn't spread very well, does it? I really expected better from this latest product… Well, what a shame.

Vil: ―What a lovely fragrance. This oil can be used for moisturizing both body and hair, I see. It goes on the shelves… Oh, next month. I should make sure to order some in advance.

Vil: …Delicious. Of course, I blended this herbal tea myself, so it's no surprise I like the taste.

Vil: Whew, I'm finally finished with everything. There is simply too much to do after showering...

Vil: However, every little bit of self-care I do lends itself to my growing beauty. I cannot allow myself to go a single day without putting in the effort.

Vil: Now, early to bed is the key. Beauty cannot be made by neglecting good sleep habits.

Vil: I'll just pour some water in the humidifier… And start my sleeping playlist…

Vil: …That was a wonderful effort today. Sleep well, and look to tomorrow.

Vil: Goodnight, me.

[Pomefiore Dorm – Vil's Room]

[alarm rings, turns off]

Vil: Mmm, ah, that was a good night's sleep. I feel completely refreshed both in mind and spirit.

Vil: Ah, I shouldn't dally about. I need to soak a cotton ball with the moisturizer and wipe off the residual skincare products, then…

[takes off cap]

Vil: UV rays may be the antithesis to radiant skin, but there is still a need to soak in some sunlight in order to maintain a healthy appearance.

Vil: All right, time to fully awaken my body. I'll start with stretching my upper body.

Vil: First, bend both elbows and interlock the fingers in front of my chest… Stretch them forward, far away from the body while exhaling.

Vil: One more time, bring the palms back to my chest… Then reach as high up as possible, stretching both the arm and back muscles―

Vil: Whew… In these moments when I can just focus on working my body like this, I can feel just how gradually everything becomes limber.

Vil: Every little bit of effort I can provide for everything under my skin also helps in maintaining my beautiful looks, as well.

Vil: I should wash my face while my circulation finishes warming up.

Vil: Since I don't have a washbasin, I'll fill a bowl with warm water using magic, then lather up a good foam with some facial soap.

Vil: Carefully and gently, so the fine lather stays plump, rest it on the face's T-zone, then spread it to the rest of the face.

Vil: A book I read a while back recommended using cold water when doing this facial, but it didn't suit me well…

Vil: With how my skin looks right now, I think I can get away with not using a hot towel steam face pack today. I'll dive right in to moisturizing…

Vil: Oh, that's right. I should try out the sample skincare booster I received when I last went shopping in Foothill Town.

Vil: Oh, my. This booster has an abundance of reparative ingredients.

Vil: I can see why the sales consultant said it was one of their prime products.

Vil: However… I think this is too much for my taste. It's a shame, but I'll go with my usual one.

Vil: The one I'm currently using isn't anything too high-brand, but it is perfect for my skin especially during a fickle time like spring.

Vil: Of course, I absolutely would be interested in using a more high-quality brand-name skincare product… But this has far more ingredients in it than I would like.

Vil: It could lead to pimples or rashes, so I truly do need to be selective with what I use.

Vil: I should leave the thought of using those highly sought after skincare products for 10 or 20 years down the road.

Vil: I wonder what today's weather looks like…? Oh, clear skies all day. Heh, perhaps the sun is trying to celebrate my birthday, as well?

Vil: It looks like the UV index is fairly high considering the time of year. I should apply a stronger, longer-lasting sunscreen today.

Vil: Alright… This should be good enough.

Vil: Well then, I'll try to bask in some of the sun's rays while jogging…

Vil: Once I finish, I'll take a shower, go through my skincare regimen once more, and then apply my makeup!

Vil: The question then becomes, should I use the special makeup set I received directly from a manufacturer specifically for my birthday, or use the products that I purchased myself?

Vil: There's so many products I want to try; it's a dire shame that I only have one face! I wonder what will suit me best today―

[Main Street]

Deuce: Good morning, Schoenheit-senpai!

Vil: Good morning to you, Deuce. Were you successful in completing my request?

Deuce: Yes, sir! Just as I promised, I'll bring it by your dorm after school. Anyway… Happy Birthday, again!

Vil: Thanks. Do enjoy the party once you've delivered my order.

Requested by @farfalla049.

[pineconepie]

cullen and august with a traumatized reader who refuses to eat maybe?

CHARACTERS: Cullen, August, Reader

WARNINGS/TAGS: Eating disorder/reader refusing to eat, parental yanderes, implied PTSD, yelling, arguing, hurt/comfort, light angst, light forced infantilization, terms of endearment, cursing, threats of force-feeding, Cullen not following his own advice lol

WORD COUNT: 2.1K

"Hon, what's wrong?" Cullen had expected to see his husband eager to greet him after arriving home from such a long day at work.

Yet only a fool would assume everything is okay by how August is pacing back and forth in the living room with furrowed eyebrows, a grim frown, and his arms crossed tightly over his chest. It's clear something has greatly upset him.

"(Y/n) has been in their room all day," August replies gravely, "I left breakfast and lunch on their nightstand but they didn't eat any of it." He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "I'm so worried."

Cullen sets down his suitcase and loosens the red tie around his neck. "Well, they can't skip dinner if they haven't eaten anything all day, that's for sure. But remember what the doc said. This is gonna take time, and it's not like this came out of left-field."

His husband folds his arms over his chest. "I know, but some foolish part of me was hoping they'd just... be eager to be in our arms all the time now. Like when they were younger." Cullen opens his mouth, to which August cuts him off. "Don't tell me it was unrealistic to think that, I know it is. But I'm still... so scared and worried."

"It's okay, Auggie," he assures with a warm smile. He steps forward to pull the taller man into his arms. Cullen rubs his back and hugs him tightly. "You want to get dinner ready while I try to talk to them?"

August nods slowly and pulls away, taking a shaky breath before heading down the hall to the kitchen.

Cullen turns to his left where a small flight of stairs leads to your room. After walking up the five or so steps, he approaches your closed door. The first knock he taps lightly against the wood, figuring you're not likely to answer. "(Y/n)?" he calls through the door. "It's Dad. You doing okay? Do you mind if I come in?"

No response, but it isn't like he really expected one.

He steps inside your bedroom to see you curled up under the blankets with the lights off. He takes a seat on your bed, making sure to keep as much distance from you as possible so you feel safe.

"(Y/n)," he murmurs softly, "you haven't eaten yet today. Let's try to get at least half of our dinner down, huh?" You shake your head side to side under the covers. He frowns. "Sweetheart, please. Not eating isn't good. We don't want you getting sick." Another head shake. He sighs, eyebrows furrowed as he rests a hand over where your shoulder might be. "Can you at least come downstairs to show your Papa that you're alive?"

You let out a long huff. The silence hangs over the room, and finally, you roll over and sit up. Your face is blotchy and covered in tear tracks.

He smiles sadly. "Hey there, sweet pea." He moves forward to place a gentle kiss on your forehead, then stands up, reaching a hand out towards you. "Why don't we get some food in your belly?"

It's better to just not argue, so you take his hand and allow him to lead you downstairs and into the dining room. You take a seat while he enters the kitchen.

Soon after, August walks back in with a bowl of your favorite soup and favorite meal.

His expression changes from relief to concern again, once he sees your tear-stained face. Cullen, who was pouring lemonade into three glasses, shoots a pointed look at August, silently telling him 'not now'. August forces a smile, and sets the bowl of chicken noodle soup and a spoon down in front of you.

They take their seats across from you.

"Eat as much as you can," Cullen reminds, grabbing one of the saltine crackers for his own stew.

You stare at it, sometimes bringing your gaze up to their happy, domestic faces as they enjoy their dinner.

They both notice you don't eat your food, but don't bring it up in hopes that you'll maybe be more willing if they ignore it. So Cullen rambles about his day and how annoying it was that the vending machine was broken, while August listens and nods, but is much less subtle in his worry for you, glancing at you and your untouched food every minute.

Once their bowls are empty, they both look at you expectantly.

"You gotta eat," Cullen says first. His voice is gentle, but there's no doubt a certain firmness to it.

August tries next when you stay silent. "Do you need Dad or I to feed you? We wouldn't mind at all."

"No," you curtly reply. It's the first word you've spoken aloud all day. They're a little startled by it, yet neither one comments. "I'm not hungry."

"But (Y/n)," August insists, "you have to be hungry. You skipped breakfast and lunch." He reaches forward to brush your hair out of your face, only for you to jerk away. You shoot him an icy glare. He lets out a slow, even breath. "Please."

You narrow your eyes.

"C'mon," Cullen says. "Eat some of it. If you can finish at least half, then you can go straight back upstairs and we won't bug you." You remain silent. Cullen's voice raises slightly. "You better take this offer, because if you don't, then you aren't leaving until every last bit is gone."

"I said," you grit out, "I'm not hungry." The stern glare remains frozen on your face as your hands curl into fists under the table.

"Do you want to be back in the hospital with a fucking feeding tube again?" he snaps. "Because that's what's going to happen if you don't stop with this!"

"Honey..." August cautions in a low voice.

"If you want to act like a baby, you can get treated like one!" Cullen practically shouts, ignoring his husband. You shrink back, avoiding his eyes. "I will literally spoon feed you myself if I have to! Then you'll be grounded for a whole month! Is that what you want?!"

"No!" you shout back. "Why are you doing this?!"

In disbelief, Cullen gasps, clearly offended. "Why the hell do you think we're doing this!?"

He stands up abruptly, chair falling behind him, and you fall out of your own one, raising your hands in front of your face defensively. That shuts him up right away, and he almost looks like he might cry when he realizes the situation he created.

It makes him sick that you'd ever feel scared of him. He's never felt this awful before.

"Oh my God." Cullen steps closer, arms outreached. "(Y/n)..."

August approaches like you're an injured animal. "Sweetie—" He stops as soon as you scramble backwards, trying to put more space between them and yourself. He swallows hard and holds his arms open towards you, invitingly, making sure to keep several feet between you. You stare at him with wide eyes, still breathing rapidly. "No one's mad at you, darling. Everything's okay." His voice breaks, despite how hard he tries to not let it.

Your response is to scramble away from the dining room and up to your bedroom, where you lock yourself inside.

"I'm so sorry," Cullen breathes.

"Don't blame yourself too much," he murmurs tiredly.

He scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. "Don't blame myself? They thought I was gonna fucking hit them, August! They thought I was gonna—" he chokes on his words as a sob threatens to tear through him. "Now they'll never eat."

August shakily sighs. He wants to comfort his husband, but it's hard to when he can hear your cries from your room. He rubs a hand over his face.

"I'm always the calm one," Cullen mutters. "I can't believe I did that... it's been such a long day and I just—I just needed them to eat something—"

"I know." August puts a hand on his arm. "I'm going to check on them, alright? If they're calmer, I'll bring them down so you can talk."

Cullen sniffles and nods in approval. August goes back upstairs. After taking a deep breath, he knocks softly against your door.

"(Y/n)," he quietly calls, "can I come in?" Silence greets him once again. He rests his head on the wooden surface of your door and sighs. "Sweetheart, no one is upset with you. Neither of us are. Right now, it's just me. Papa. Okay?"

"...okay," you weakly respond.

The corners of his lips quirk into a bittersweet smile. "I'm going to come in now." The door creaks open and August quickly shuts it behind himself, stepping further into your room to see you curled up underneath blankets. He carefully plops himself beside you. He feels tears prickling in his eyes when you curl away. "Could you look at me?"

You reluctantly peek your head out from underneath the covers and raise your watery eyes to his.

He gives you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "There's those beautiful eyes." August opens his arms towards you. "Hug?" You shyly crawl towards him, settling onto his lap and letting him wrap his arms around you. He rocks back and forth, cradling your head to his chest.

"I love you," he murmurs. "I love you more than anything. Both of us love you." He places a gentle kiss atop your head. "I wish there were a way you could fully understand how much you mean to us."

"Then why did Dad get angry?" you rasp.

August purses his lips. "He knows he shouldn't have done that, but he isn't mad at you, sweetheart. Not one bit. He just wants you to be okay. And so do I. And we're worried, because if you don't eat, you'll hurt yourself. We lost you once, we can't lose you again." His voice seeps with something darker at that last statement. "But no matter what, we'd never lay a hand on you in anger. Never ever."

You exhale through your nose. "I don't do it to hurt you or Dad."

He shakes his head. "Oh, we know you don't. You wouldn't try to hurt us intentionally. But the issue is that you're hurting yourself, and that hurts us just as much."

Your stomach growls, to which you grimace.

August smiles a little at that. "How about this?" he suggests. "Come downstairs and finish half your bowl, then you can go back upstairs and have some alone time. No interruptions, unless you want them. How does that sound? And while I heat up your food again, you can talk to your dad. He wants to apologize. Would that be alright?"

A slow nod follows, and August helps you stand up before rising to his feet. Hand in hand, you both return downstairs.

There, you find Cullen pacing in the living room. He sighs in relief upon seeing you.

August turns to you. "I'm going to put your dinner back in the microwave real fast while you two chat." He leaves after kissing your forehead.

You feel Cullen place a hand on your shoulder. "Hey, buddy," he murmurs. "I am so, so sorry for yelling. You didn't deserve that, especially after all you've been through. That was wrong of me to scare you like that." He hugs you tight, and you let him. It surprises him. "But you need to eat. Even if it's small. Please. Your old man can't take worrying anymore."

"It's not your fault I can't eat," you mumble.

Cullen buries his face in your hair for a moment, then asks, "Why can't you, (Y/n)?"

"Because I don't deserve it."

When he pulls away, you're shocked to see his eyebrows furrowed in anguish, tears glistening in his eyes. You didn't expect such a strong reaction. His mouth moves without saying anything at first. "That's not—that's not true. That couldn't be any less true." You're startled when he hugs you tight to his chest. "Don't ever say that again. Don't even think it. Of course you deserve good things."

He places two fingers under your chin to tilt your head up, smiling with pure adoration, yet it's tinged with melancholy.

"The fact that someone made you feel otherwise absolutely kills me. You deserve everything good in life, (Y/n). Absolutely everything. All of our love, homemade dinners, hugs, kisses, presents, cuddles, warmth. All of it."

August reappears holding the warm bowl of soup. "All done now," he announces.

As you follow Cullen towards the table, you find it a little easier to breathe somehow.

[bananastarlo]

yandere Isekai trope

What if you wake up in another world and nothing is quite as it was before you fell asleep? Everything looked different—hell, even you looked different, wearing a strange school uniform.

That’s when a screen appears before you:

“In order to leave this place, you must get along with the yandere of this universe and identify—plus avoid—their darling. Good luck, and don’t get yourself killed.“

So that’s why you’re standing in front of the classroom the screen assigned you to. Peering inside, nobody seems to notice your presence. You take a seat and inspect every person carefully… 

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Is he not in this school?

But then he walked in, head slightly bowed to avoid drawing attention to himself. Yet somehow, you knew it had to be him. It was a gut feeling, strong and undeniable. The boy was quite tall and lean, with little muscle, a gentle appearance, and hair that fell over his face. His expression was unsure.

He’s supposed to be the yandere? You smirked to yourself. Definitely manageable.

As he took his seat, you came up to him and warily sat yourself down next to him. He didn’t even bother glancing up, absorbed in whatever he was sketching in his notebook. 

You’d figured you should try befriending him—gain his trust so he (hopefully) wouldn’t hurt you.

Your first interaction with him was short-lived 

���Hey, I’m new here. Uh…what’s your name?“

…

Shit. 

You take a peek at his notebook.

“That’s a really pretty drawing! You’re very talented!“

“…Thank you.“ 

Were you the first person he’d spoken to? It sure felt like it. You almost felt bad for him.

As time went on, you tried every tactic to win him over. After countless failed attempts, you finally earned his tolerance, maybe even fondness. Now, he even waits for you after class, which was…kind of cute. You learned his name was Luca, a shy boy who loved to draw and read comics.

It made sense for him to be a yandere, you thought. 

Eventually, he grew clingy. You didn’t mind. If anything, his attachment meant he wouldn’t turn on you later…right?

But you’d be lying if you said he hadn’t grown on you, too. If not for the yandere thing, you’d actually enjoy your late-night talks (it’s more of a one-sided conversation, but oh well…) and the times when you did school projects together at your house and he gets flustered by being in your space. 

But you’re forgetting something really important, aren’t you? 

“Hey, my name is Lola! It’s nice to meet you all!“ 

She was an awfully cheery girl who just transferred here. The kind of girl boys fell for. Even…

You turn your head to study Luca’s reaction.

His expression was unreadable, but this has to be her—the darling. Now, you just had to avoid her as much as possible.

“Thank you. You can sit now. Uh…you! You’ll show Lola around and partner with her for the upcoming project.“

The teacher pointed directly at you.

Aw, shit.

Arguing was pointless, so you agreed. But you could feel Luca’s glare burning into you as Lola beamed beside you.

“I hope we become good friends!“

You spent the rest of class ignoring him, but dread coiled in your stomach. 

After class, as everyone scattered, you grabbed Luca‘s wrist before he could leave. “Listen, I…I really like you. I don’t want anything to change what we have. Once I finish what the teacher asked, I‘ll stay away from her, okay?“

He blinked in surprise, then smiled. “I-I didn’t think you’d understand. Thank you so much.“

And with that, he left.

At least that went well.

Or so you thought.

Lola was determined to befriend you. No hint, no brush-off worked. The more time you spent with her, the more Luca withdrew. His distance made you paranoid—rightfully so.

Today was another dreadful day and you were the only one left in school working on an assignment—too scared to walk home now that it was already this dark out. After packing up, you sighed and headed out—until a strange noise made you stop in place. 

Against your better judgement, your feet dragged you to the source, scared of what you would find.

That’s when you saw an open classroom and heard a piercing scream from inside. Your stomach dropped and hands started shaking.

There he was, repeatedly stabbing a person, who was so familiar to you, you almost threw up. Lola. Luca was hunched over her. He must’ve heard you, because his head slowly turned, blood splattered across his face.

“You? My darling… you weren’t supposed to see this.“

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!“ You backed away.

He looked like he was the one who had just been stabbed. His lips trembled.

“W-What do you mean? I did this for us! She wouldn’t stop bothering you! She deserved this—ALL OF IT! She wanted to take you away from me, can’t you see? You told me you didn’t want anything to change what we have, so please, please don’t look at me with that look. I love you so much, please…“

What have you done?

[xo2dee]

CAN I MAKE A REQUEST FOR INSECURE!VERGIL X READER (OR REFUSING TO SHOW/ADMIT TO HIS INSECURITY)

PAIRING: Vergil x Reader WARNINGS: MDNI/ 18+ ONLY. Implied sexual content, insecure!vergil. WORD COUNT: 1,647

A/N: thank you for the request! wasn't sure how you wanted me to particularly pick something vergil would be insecure about so i went through the liberty of choosing him to be insecure of letting you see how he looks in his SDT form bc rly it's a personal hc of mine as well. i hope that's okay and i hope you enjoy as well!

DMC MASTERLIST

When you first laid his eyes on him, everything about him screamed having confidence in oneself.

He stood tall (broad shouldered and long-legged), and his face carried the expressions that told you nothing ever fazed him as well as he was never one to be at fault for anything. He was so strong and so fast too, making your head spin when he blitzed across a battlefield with nothing but pure conviction poised with his sword, or that time he lifted a couch one-handed when your shoe had slid underneath it and you needed help getting it, just wordlessly doing your bidding before placing it back down like it wasn’t even a big deal. Perhaps that was what had attracted you to him so much – how confident he was with everything he did, and you just knew when you realized the lingering stares on your form meant he’d been eyeing you the same way you had been him, it was really Vergil’s confidence so gaze at you so openly that fueled your own into making the first move that got you into a relationship.

Surely, a man that looked and seemed so confident could do you so right and knew exactly what to do and say in a relationship… And imagine your surprise when the first time you kissed Vergil he practically froze up and looked absolutely as at loss on what to do.

Of course, you later learned he was just lacking in the physical touch and romantic relationship department, something that was easily remedied with slow touching and patience on your side to let him better feel comfortable with someone touching him so intimately. Just because he’d never been in one so casually didn’t mean you lost all attraction to him, Vergil was more than what you first thought and you loved him for everything he was so of course you were going to as patient as you could with him when he deserved it. However, where you were patient you hadn’t come to realize he was battling an internal struggle with himself to pull away from you when his flesh gave way to reveal the truth he hid from you beneath his skin.

It was only in passing and slight touches hastily pulled away from you that you saw it; blue toughened skin on the backs of his hands as the bones in his fingers cracked and bent before you briefly saw the talons on your waist until he abruptly let go of you and hid them from your view. Or the brief scales you’d see on his temple when you kissed his jawline before he turned his head away from you to catch his breath. And even the sheen of his eyes changed that he fluttered his eyelashes over to not let you ever see – yet you’d engraved that feline blue glow of his eyes into your mind forever, and how mesmerized you were by their gleam and how the slitted pupil expanded for a millisecond until he hid them from your view. And every time it happened in a stretch of intimacy, you began to understand Vergil was fighting self-control to give way to his true form as his instincts itched for it.

Everyone knew Vergil was half-demon and half-human, you just didn’t understand why he didn’t like to let you see the demon part of him.

That night though, you were determined to make him feel wanted and welcome, wanting that confidence you loved back when he showed you how he looked beneath the human guise and assuring him nothing about how he looked or what he was would ever deter you from wanting him. You weren’t the slightest bit surprised whenever things got too intense for a moment and Vergil was pulling back from you and turning away from you to hide what was coming forth, the sheets of your bed sitting low on his waist as you wondered why the rest of his body didn’t seem to be affected like his face was. Then you wondered if that was why he was so hesitant to let you see him…

You sat up as quietly as you could, your fingers twitching to grab his own, but you only sighed out for him instead, “Vergil, it’s okay.”

Vergil only hunched his shoulders more at your words, his face only turning back to you a few centimeters to let you see the beginnings of his scales along his hairline before they dipped down into the slope of his neck. His muscles were strained, and his jaw was clenched as his words came out more grounded and desperate than you had ever heard before. “…A minute.”

Give him a minute.

And then what, go back to acting like he wasn’t feeling insecure over the thought of you judging on how he looked and how he was losing control? You’d told him before you didn’t care and trusted him, but it felt even then your words weren’t enough to soothe his worries and he went right back to that toxicity within his mind of things he conjured up he told himself. You hated it; you only wanted Vergil to know you loved him regardless of who he was, and it was fueled enough to remember that proud man on the battlefield to let him know otherwise that you did not care what he looked like.

Perhaps if your words weren’t enough…

Carefully, and so tenderly, you brushed the backs of your fingers along the scales you could see rising from his neck, stopping yourself when you heard the heavy breath he took once he felt your touch on his skin and only continuing to caress him when his head slightly leaned into your fingers after a few moments. Like you had expected, the scales were tough and leathery to the touch yet you could feel the well reinforced hide beneath them capable of withstanding a brutal attack and protecting Vergil himself. You eyed his jawline cautiously, watching it grind before it loosened a fraction and you trailed your index finger up along his hairline until you were softly tracing the scales raising from his temple and forehead. The sigh from Vergil had your worries easing away, his shoulders relaxing from their tensed position the more you continued to touch him while you began to count the abundance of scales along his face. The rumbling in his chest egged you on, pushing strands of his hair back onto its usual position as face and body began to slow turn back towards you.

You could only akin the feeling of his new skin to that of a Komodo dragon, yet you kept those thoughts to yourself in case you offended him and he pulled away for good, and once you had his face back towards you to let you see more of his flesh giving away you could only trace every inch of in fascination to how it looked. However, Vergil’s eyelashes still laid over his eyes, shielding you from seeing them as you sighed and swept a thumb over his cheekbone, “Can I see your eyes?”

It took a moment and a frown to mar his face before he let you see them, and you got the same glee you felt seeing them for that sparse moment from before when you took note his pupils dilated all the same once he looked at you. He kept his words to himself as you looked over his expression, finding it in beautiful interest how overtime his appearance would change. However, you were keen to show him more how you didn’t mind it as you let your eyes fall to his transformed hands clutching at the sheets – nearly on the verge of tearing them if you didn’t soothe him.

Reaching forward you curled your hand over his new one, interlocking your fingers together as the difference in texture was felt enough for the both of you before you squeezed it in assurance. His hand was warm – warmer than it usually was, and you couldn’t help the sigh that escaped you at the comforting temperature. Vergil was coy in the way he held your hand, but it was even more gratifying to watch his other claw-tipped hand raise and stall for a moment to make sure you wouldn’t pull away before he was idly drawing patterns into your bare shoulder. It was ticklish to an extent, yet you remained still, then watched as his confidence built itself back up and then you were fluttering your own eyelashes when the back of his fingers brushed across your cheeks so tenderly.

He’d never admit it, and you knew it was better to humor him rather than point out the obvious in case he retreated back into himself.

You eyed him with a teasing lift to your mouth, raising your conjoined hands as you rubbed your cheek across the back of his hand, “I think I should feel a little proud. I affect you so much you start to lose control and begin to shift.”

Vergil’s sigh was so loud you could practically feel the eyeroll, but his mood had considerably changed for the better once you felt his form leaning into your own. You welcomed him as you stroked along the parts of his body that had altered appearance, slowly watching as they either shuddered beneath your touch or that began to wane away to the ivory sheen of skin you were used to seeing. His confidence returned in the way that his body moved in tune with your own, no longer feeling shunned at the thought you might’ve turned away from his appearance as your fingertips glided sweetly between the spots of smooth flesh and the leathery formation of scales as the night came to an end.

As long as Vergil had you, he had nothing to feel vulnerable about.

[petersasteria]

Don't Have Much But I Have Love - G Dragon/Kwon Jiyong

Pairing: non-idol!Jiyong x wealthy!fem!reader Summary: all in the title.

A/N: this is for the bigbang april writing challenge! i hope you guys like it. thank you @ldydeath and @wcnderlnds for starting this amazing event! <3

Jiyong knew what he was getting into when he started dating you. He knew he had to prove himself worthy of even being in your space. Of course, your family never approved of him. In fact, you were already betrothed to someone, but when you showed no interest, your parents cancelled it.

Jiyong worked at a small shop his parents owned. They sold cheap school supplies and all the kids loved him because of his kind and welcoming nature. Due to their financial situation, Jiyong never got to finish school. He'd always read books his friends were using in class. Youngbae was always generous in lending him books and Daesung would print worksheets for Jiyong to do at home, so he wasn't left behind. His other friend, Seunghyun, worked part time at a small cafe and Jiyong would tutor him for extra cash. Who could blame him? He wanted to put into use the things he learned and he knew Seunghyun struggled a little bit academically.

In one of his visits, he met you. You were the most gorgeous girl he'd ever seen. When you walked in the cafe, everything was in slow motion and he suddenly felt a light breeze as if he were in a movie. Seunghyun looked at what Jiyong was looking at and chuckled.

"Yeah, I was smitten too." Seunghyun shook his head and nudged his friend playfully. "But please focus. She's always here, anyway."

Jiyong snapped out of it and nodded, "Okay, um, back to the quadratic equation..."

Their study session ended a few minutes later because Seunghyun had to start his shift. Already popular among the baristas and the owner, Jiyong would always receive a free drink and a free pastry that he likes. The owner didn't mind because sometimes, he would get Jiyong to work in the cafe on the weekends as a janitor because they needed extra hands.

Jiyong stayed at the cafe, enjoying his free food when he looked at you again. You were so ethereal; dressed head to toe with designer brands. You were eating alone and Jiyong knew he wanted to be with you. He just didn't know how that'll happen.

Days passed and he was still so hung up on you. He wanted to ask Seunghyun about you, but every time he was going to, he'd suddenly back out and change the topic. On one Saturday, the cafe owner asked Jiyong if he could work for them that day and Jiyong immediately agreed. Jiyong arrived on time and started working immediately. He bussed out tables quickly, swept the floors, mopped, washed the dishes, threw the trash out, and cleaned the restrooms. Just as he was wiping the trays clean, he heard a shriek coming from one of the tables. He quickly set the tray down and went to where it was coming from and was surprised to see it was from your table.

Your friend was freaking out because the drink she was drinking spilled on her. "My dress is ruined!" She cried and you shook your head slightly, wiping down the table with tissues.

"Y/F/N, it'll dry out. You won't even notice." You said calmly. "It happened to me before and I turned out perfectly fine and my dress was fine."

JIyong looked at you in awe. He had never been this close to you before. Your friend glanced at him and said, "Well, don't just stand there. Clean this whole thing up!"

"Sorry." Jiyong wiped down the table and took your friend's glass. You frowned and said, "That's not very nice."

"Yeah, he just stood there and-"

"Not him. You." You looked at her. "You shouldn't speak to anyone like that. You're rich, aren't you? I'm sure you could afford some manners."

Your friend huffed, "Excuse me? Why are you defending him? He's just a janitor."

"That still doesn't give you the right to speak to him that way. He's human." You said casually, taking a sip of your coffee.

If Jiyong wasn't in love with you before, he was now. He had never felt that way before about someone and he did everything he could to be with you.

It took guts for him to ask you out one day when you sat down on your usual table. He had just finished tutoring Seunghyun and he cleared his throat as he stood in front of you. You looked up at him and smiled.

"Hel-"

"Hi! I'm Kwon Ji-yong. I work here part time and I also work for my parents in their school supplies shop. I also tutor my friend, Choi Seung-hyun, before his shift starts at this cafe. I stopped schooling because we couldn't afford it, so now I'm just working a lot of different jobs and gigs."

You stared at him. You didn't know what to say. "I... I respect that."

"Every time I see you, my heart beats a little faster than usual and I get happy every time I see you. You're the reason I want to keep going because... well, I like you. A lot. I'd love to take you out on a date sometime, if that's alright with you." He said nervously.

You smiled and nodded, "You know it takes guts to ask someone out. Of course, I'll go on a date with you!"

That was the happiest day of Jiyong's life. He provided you with everything you wanted and needed. His parents weren't too sure of you at first, but as they got to know you, they started to change their views. Your parents, however, didn't like him at all and they never tried. That's why they betrothed you to some random chaebol that you didn't even like. Jiyong was heartbroken when he found out.

"Why don't they like me?" He cried in your arms. You hated seeing him cry.

"Honestly? They don't like your background."

"My background?" He looked at you with bloodshot eyes and sniffed. You nodded. "What does that mean?"

"It means, they don't like that you didn't finish school, they don't like that you work part time at the cafe, they don't like that you have side gigs just to get by, and they don't like that you're not from a rich family. They do, however, like that you help your parents in their shop because they think that children should help their parents' business." You explained and he nodded slowly.

A moment of silence fell on the two of you. You could only hear Jiyong's sniffles and shaky breathing. You could only rub his back in comfort. You were thankful that you were currently in his room. You didn't want his parents to worry.

"I'll finally do it." He said after a while. He looked at you with a determined look on his face, "I'll finally do it, Y/N."

You tilted your head on the side, "What do you mean?"

"I'll finish my schooling. I mean, that would mean I'd be back in freshman year of high school, but that's okay, right? At least I'll finish it. Then, while doing that, I'll continue my jobs just to get by. I don't want to ask my parents for money. I'll save up too. Then when the time comes, I'll go to college and take a business course and hopefully, I'll get a job at Samsung or something." Jiyong said with perseverance which made you smile.

"I'll be here every step of the way." You smiled.

And you were.

You were there during exam week. You were there when he passed his exams in flying colors. You were there to feed him when budget was tight and he couldn't afford to eat anything. You were there to pick him up from school so he wouldn't be late for his shift at the cafe. You were there when he finally graduated high school and you and his friends were cheering him on. As a special treat, you treated him, his family, and his friends to a meal at an expensive restaurant.

"Thank you for this, Y/N! We didn't expect to be included." Youngbae smiled.

"You're Jiyong's best friends. Of course, you're included! Please keep eating." You smiled as you passed them more food.

Jiyong was looking at you the whole time, smitten and in love. He knew then and there that he wanted to marry you. His only worry? He couldn't afford the lifestyle you were used to. Sometimes, it made him feel shitty every time you buy yourself something new from Chanel or Dior. He wanted to buy those things for you, but he couldn't; not yet. He figured he should start thinking of proposing soon or at least think about living together.

But as he looked at you smiling and laughing with his friends and taking good care of his parents, he knew he won the lottery. He may not be blessed financially, but he was blessed to have you.

Two years have passed since then and you were now living with Jiyong in a tiny apartment. Your parents have already called off the engagement with the chaebol guy and your parents disapproved of you and Jiyong living together. They've already started to like him a little bit because he finally finished high school and he's away at college, but it's not enough. Ever since you told your parents that you'd be living with Jiyong, they only said one thing: "Don't ask us for financial help."

Since then, Jiyong has been trying to make ends meet. You tried to help, but he wouldn't let you. He insisted on being the man of the house and when budget was tight, you'd sell one of your luxury bags just to get by. Jiyong disapproved, but you keep telling him that it'll come back to you, anyway.

You were waiting for Jiyong to come home. He was out looking for jobs at offices so he could get a head start while studying. Today was his birthday and you didn't want him to not celebrate it. Everything was set up. There was cake on the table, all his favorite food were lovingly cooked and prepared by you, you cleaned the entire apartment, you even had streamers hung, and a few balloons were on the ceiling. You already lit up the candles and just as you did, the power went out. You guessed Jiyong forgot to pay the electricity bill.

Jiyong entered the apartment and saw that there was no electricity. "Shit." He mumbled in the dark. "Baby?" He called out.

"I'm here!" You responded with a smile on your face. You were really excited to celebrate his birthday. He followed your voice and saw that your face was illuminated by the candles on his cake. He could even make up the food on the table.

"You did all this for me?" He asked, truly touched by your actions.

"Yeah!" You grinned. "It's your birthday after all."

He forgot it was his birthday. "Thank you." He smiled and gave you a kiss before sitting across from you. "I'm sorry about the elec-"

"Shh, we can figure it out tomorrow. Let's just make this night about you. Happy birthday, honey." You said lovingly as you held his hand on top of the table.

"Thank you." He smiled. Just as he was about to blow the candles, he stopped himself. "We wouldn't have light if I blew the candles."

"Oh, right! Thank god I have a lot of big candles." You exclaimed as you hurriedly grabbed all your candles in the bathroom.

Jiyong laughed as he heard you running around. That's when he knew. He was going to propose that night. He immediately looked around and checked his pockets for any kind of paper. When he found an old receipt in his pocket, he quickly made a ring out of it. By the time you came back, the ring was in his coat pocket and he helped you light the candles and place it at different parts of the apartment.

As soon as you were done, both of you sat down again. You looked at him and smiled, "Make a wish and blow your candles."

"I already have everything I wished for." He smiled at you, making you blush. "Though, I do wish for one more thing."

He closed his eyes and blew his candles. You gently clapped and just as you were about to serve him food, he stopped you.

"Thank you so much for everything, Y/N." He smiled.

"No probl-"

"Please let me finish." He said and you nodded. "I-I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you at that cafe. I always thought you'd end up with Seunghyun because he had a tiny crush on you too, but he said it was just a happy crush, so I pursued you. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met and I'm glad that you're my first girlfriend and I hope that you're my last."

He pulled out the paper ring he made and chuckled lightly, "I don't have much, but I have so much love for you and I promise that one day, this'll be a real diamond ring. For now, this'll have to do. Y/N, my everything, will you marry me?"

You smiled as tears clouded your vision, "The diamonds I have don't compare to this one, Ji. I'd marry you with paper rings over and over again. Yes, I'll marry you!"

He went over to your side and slipped the paper ring on your ring finger as you shared a loving kiss.

"Best birthday ever." He smiled as he mumbled the words on your lips.

-

A/N: AAAAAH this has been my idea for a long time and I used the writing challenge as an opportunity to write it!

permanent taglist: @redhoodedtoad @billiesiousji @hayd3n8 @sherrayyyyy @nbjch05 @ldydeath @wcnderlnds @infinetlyforgotten @emmiesoverthemoon @breakmeoff @sayugarper @gdinthehouseee

jiyong taglist: @loveesiren @aizshallnotbefound

[tikitakatia]

Escape — A. Putellas x Reader

"Write to Me and Escape"

WC: 5.5k

Summary: You couldn’t hold it in anymore, you just had to see them even if it wrecked you. But what you find changes everything, and nothing feels the same anymore.

Pt. 1 , Pt. 2 , Pt. 3 , Pt.4

The rhythm with go4goald2 fell back into place quicker than you expected.

Alexia had warned you about the media days, press events and tight schedule. You’d nodded to yourself, thanked her for the heads-up, and tried not to be disappointed when she used the words “a few days.” It had taken months for her to remember how to tell you things before they hurt. You gave her credit for that. Quietly. Without saying it out loud.

But now with her occupied and off your screen, off your mind in a way that felt both guilty and relieving, you opened Chattr without hesitation. No wince. No weighing what it meant.

Just you. And them.

The message was already waiting.

[go4goald2]: Okay, important: If your life had a laugh track, what moment would it play the loudest?

You grinned before you even started typing.

[lostinthecrowd]: When I waved back at someone who was waving at the person behind me, then tried to cover it by swatting a fly that didn’t exist.

[go4goald2]: Oh my god, I’m cringing in solidarity.

[lostinthecrowd]: It haunts me weekly. Specifically at 11:47 p.m. when I'm trying to sleep like a normal person.

[go4goald2]: Good, it keeps you humble.

You laughed and felt something in your chest unspool just a little.

[go4goald2]: Okay, but now I need more. What's the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done on purpose?

You didn’t overthink it. You didn’t try to be cool. You just told the truth.

[lostinthecrowd]: I once tried to flirt with a barista by ordering “whatever you think matches my vibe.”

[lostinthecrowd]: They gave me a decaf oat milk lavender latte that tasted like sadness and dirt.

[go4goald2]: Nooo. Did you drink the whole thing??

[lostinthecrowd]: Yep. Smiled through it then tipped five bucks out of pure shame.

There was a pause. Just long enough to notice.

Then:

[go4goald2]: You´re such a dumbass.

[go4goald2]: I love you.

You froze.

Not because you thought they meant it.

Not really.

But because it hit different, even as a joke.

Because the part of you that was still clawing for something real? It wanted to believe it. Even just for a second.

You didn’t reply right away.

[go4goald2]: I´m so sorry. That was too much.

[lostinthecrowd]: No. It wasn’t. I just... didn’t expect it.

A pause. Then:

[go4goald2]: I think about you a lot when I'm not talking to you. When something dumb happens. When I see something and wonder if you’d laugh at it. That's normal, right?

You stared at the screen.

Felt your chest clench in that stupid, hopeful, terrified way.

[lostinthecrowd]: Maybe not normal. But... not bad.

Another beat.

[go4goald2]: Have you ever fallen for someone just by how they see you?

That was… something.

Because yes.

Because that’s exactly what this was starting to feel like.

You typed slower this time.

[lostinthecrowd]: I think I'm scared of how much I want to say yes to that.

You waited.

And waited.

Then finally:

[go4goald2]: I won't ask you to say it. Not if it’s not the time. I just want you to know you’re seen exactly as you are. You don’t have to change anything around me.

You closed your eyes. Let the words settle.

Alexia was trying. She was.

But this?

This felt like being chosen in real time.

And you didn’t know what to do with that yet.

So instead, you reached down, scratched behind Tofu’s ears, and whispered, “You’re not helping, you know.”

He snorted. Rolled over like he disagreed.

Your phone buzzed again.

[go4goald2]: Are you still with me?

You hesitated.

Then, without thinking too hard, you typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: Yeah, I’m still here.

And god help you, for the first time in a long time, you meant it.

[go4goald2]: If I asked you something kind of dangerous, would you answer?

[lostinthecrowd]: That depends. Are we talking dangerous like “eat expired sushi” or dangerous like “emotional vulnerability at midnight”?

[go4goald2]: The second one, obviously.

[lostinthecrowd]: Then maybe, ask.

[go4goald2]: Do you think some people are meant for us… But not meant to stay?

[lostinthecrowd]: Jesus.

[go4goald2]: Too much?

[lostinthecrowd]: Not too much. Just… accurate.

[go4goald2]: I think about it a lot. How sometimes you meet someone and they wreck you. Not in a bad way. Just… Like they rearrange everything inside you. And then they’re gone. But you’re still left shaped like them.

[lostinthecrowd]: And then you meet someone else, and they touch that same part of you, but gentler.

[go4goald2]: Yeah. Like maybe the first person cracked you open so someone else could find you.

[lostinthecrowd]: I don't know if I believe in fate.

[go4goald2]: Me neither. But I believe in timing, and maybe we don’t always get to choose what hurts.

[lostinthecrowd]: Sometimes I think I was supposed to love her, just not forever.

There was a pause.

Not the bad kind. The kind that means someone is breathing slowly before saying something that might change everything.

[go4goald2]: And now?

You stared at the screen. Tofu shifted against your thigh. You started typing, fingers shaking.

[lostinthecrowd]: Now I'm scared, because I think I'm falling again. and I don't know whose arms I want to land on.

You didn’t get a reply right away.

But the typing bubble flickered.

Flickered.

Then it disappeared.

Then..

Your phone rang.

Not Chattr.

Not go4goald2.

Alexia.

You froze. Let it ring once. Twice. Four times.

Your thumb moved before you could talk yourself out of it.

“...Hey,” you said, your voice paper-thin.

There was a pause. Then:

“Sorry,” she said, exhaling like the air had been punched out of her. “I didn’t mean to call. I mean, I did. I just…”

You waited.

“I’m at the hotel,” she said, too fast. “Patri and Pina were curled up on the couch watching some stupid romcom, and she was laughing so hard she had to hide her face in her hoodie. It made me think of you. Of us. Of how we used to be when everything still felt easy.”

She paused.

“And I just.. God, I missed you so much it hurt. Like physical, actual pain. And I didn’t know what to do with it, so I called.”

You didn’t say anything and allowed the silence to wrap around both of you like fog.

Her voice cracked. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know that it’s 1am and I heard your laugh in my head and I realized it’s been months since I heard it for real. And that’s my fault.”

She sniffled. Not trying to hide it. “I spent so long trying to prove I could be everything to everyone. I didn’t realize I was becoming nothing to you.”

You swallowed hard.

“I miss you,” she whispered. “Not just the version of you that laughed with me. The quiet parts too. The hard days. The mornings when you hated everyone but me. I miss you. All of it.”

She laughed, watery. “God, I sound drunk. I’m not. I’m just tired, being a little stupid. And a lot in love, still.”

A beat. Then she said, almost childishly soft,

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to call before I got too scared to.”

She hung up.

No goodbye. Just a breath. Then gone.

You stared at your phone like it had short-circuited your brain.

And then it buzzed.

Chattr.

You opened it.

[go4goald2]: Hey, you okay?

Your fingers moved.

Paused.

Then:

[lostinthecrowd]: She called.. She cried and then said things I didn't know I still needed to hear.

A beat.

Then:

[go4goald2]: And what do you need right now?

You blinked. Let your eyes close. Let the weight of that question settle into your ribs.

And then you typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: I don’t know, but I think I need to find out without disappearing again.

Because that was the truth.

You weren’t running.

But you were on the edge.

And you didn’t want to fall without knowing where you’d land.

For two days, you didn’t text Alexia. You didn’t open Chattr either. The silence just settled in, uninvited but familiar, like it had a key. You moved through the apartment like your skin didn’t fit right, trying not to look at anything too long. Everything in here had her fingerprints on it, some literal, some worse.

Tofu had no such crisis. He charged through your day like he owned it. Like this was his apartment and you were just lucky to live in it. He leapt onto the couch without asking, claimed the sunny spot on the rug like a seasoned diva, and barked loudly when you took too long filling his water bowl. He had no patience for emotional spirals. He had toys to destroy and treats to extort.

And still, somehow, he made your chest ache.

Because she gave him to you.

Just a few weeks ago, the night before she left for international break, she showed up with a bag full of supplies and said, “He’s yours now. I think you need each other.” Like he was a peace offering. Like he was a bridge. Or maybe a way to say I still love you, without the risk of hearing it back.

You told yourself it didn’t mean anything.

But she’d remembered the kind of dog you always paused to pet on the street. She picked a leash in your favorite color. She said, “His name’s Tofu,” with a smile so soft it was like an inside joke you hadn’t caught yet. And then she kissed your forehead like she didn’t still live in the ache of your throat.

Now Tofu was sprawled across your lap, toy half-chewed between his paws, utterly unbothered by your entire existential crisis. You ran your fingers through his fur absentmindedly, blinked at the ceiling, tried not to think too hard.

But it was impossible not to think of her when he was like this.

So sure of you. So certain you’d hold him, feed him, love him. No hesitation. No fear.

He trusted you more than you trusted yourself right now.

And God, what did it mean that she’d given you something this soft? This loud? This real?

You missed her. That was the truth. You missed the girl who used to dance in the kitchen while brushing her teeth. The girl who always pulled your hand into her lap when you were anxious, like that was enough to ground you. The girl who said “I love you” like it was a fact, not a performance.

You missed her so much it made your teeth hurt.

But missing someone didn’t erase what they did to you.

Tofu snorted in his sleep and shifted, shoving his back against your stomach like he was trying to merge your atoms. You laughed, quietly and bitterly. Even the dog didn’t believe in personal space.

You were trying so hard not to fall into the same shape you used to hold with her. But everything in this apartment: the blanket, the coffee mugs, this ridiculous little gremlin she gifted you, was a memory dressed like comfort.

And then there was go4goald2.

You hadn’t talked since the night Alexia called. Since everything broke open and left you standing in the middle of the mess, holding pieces of two different people who both made you feel too much.

They hadn’t messaged. Not since that quiet, careful question:

“And what do you need right now?”

You didn’t know if your silence had said too much. Or not enough.

You wanted to miss them. That would’ve been easier. Cleaner. But what you felt instead was worse:

You wanted them. Present-tense. Fully. Still.

Their steadiness. The way they listened without grabbing at your pain. The way they never asked you to perform softness, but you just found yourself being soft anyway.

And maybe it was good that they hadn’t texted. Maybe they sensed the edge you were standing on. Maybe they didn’t want to crowd it.

But God, part of you wanted them to fight for the space they’d carved into your chest.

Just a little.

Not with declarations. Not with pressure.

Just something. Anything. To say:

I’m still here. Even now.

But they didn’t.

By the third day, you still didn’t check your phone.

Not out of resolve, not even out of strength. But just because you didn’t want anything to answer to yet. You got dressed slowly. Took a real shower. Let the hot water hit your neck long enough to make you feel human.

Then you leashed Tofu and left the apartment.

No headphones. No destination. Just a slow walk through streets that didn’t ask anything of you. Tofu trotted like he owned the world, occasionally stopping to sniff something so thoroughly you almost apologized to the sidewalk.

You passed the bakery where Alexia used to make you pick out the pastries because she “couldn’t be trusted around sugar.” The coffee place you found together by accident. The crosswalk she once danced across in the rain.

You didn’t linger.

Not because the memories weren’t still in your chest. But because you finally understood something:

You don’t owe every memory a place in your future.

Tofu barked at a pigeon, almost dislocated your shoulder, then looked up at you like did you see that??

You laughed. Just a little. Just enough to count.

You kept walking.

Past the part of town where the noise softened. Past the old bookstore with the spray-painted sign. Past the bus stop where you used to wait for her, headphones on, heart in your throat.

And at some point, you sat down.

On a bench. Sun on your face. Tofu curled at your feet like a tiny guard.

You didn’t cry. You didn’t spiral.

You just let yourself feel the space in your chest. The one where love used to hurt, but now just… waited.

You didn’t know what you were choosing yet.

But for once, it didn’t feel like something was being chosen for you.

When you finally opened your phone, it buzzed to life with the weight of unread words. First, Alexia. A string of messages you hadn’t seen, each one longer than the last. No guilt, not this time. Just softness. Apologies that sounded real. Updates that sounded like effort. Hope that didn’t demand anything in return. She said she missed you. That she was proud of you. That even if you didn’t say it back, she’d keep trying to be someone worth coming home to.

You read every word. Didn’t respond. Not yet. Your chest was already full.

So you opened Chattr instead.

One message.

[go4goald2]: If we never talk again, I’ll still be glad I got to know this version of you.

You stared at it for a long time. Not because it hurt, but because it didn’t try to make you feel guilty. Just seen.

You blinked. Typed slowly.

[lostinthecrowd]: I missed this. You. I was scared to come back, and I didn’t know if I deserved to.

The reply came fast. Like they’d been waiting.

[go4goald2]: You never had to earn this. Just had to be you.

Something tugged behind your ribs. You let the words linger. You thought about who you were when you talked to them. How safe it felt. How easy. And how terrifying it was to want that ease somewhere real.

Then:

[go4goald2]: You ever feel like... If someone actually saw you, not your texts, not your voice, but you. They’d change their mind?

And after a beat:

[go4goald2]: I’m not as charming out loud. Not as easy to love in real time.

You felt that one like it had hands. Like it gripped the version of you who’d been broken open too many times and still wanted to be seen. It knocked the breath out of you, soft and brutal.

Because Alexia saw the real you, and still drifted.

And here was someone who hadn’t even looked at your face, and already thought they weren’t worth being loved back.

You sat with it. With the ache and the clarity and the ridiculous, inconvenient spark of hope.

Then you typed, slow. Barely breathing.

[lostinthecrowd]: What if I want to see you anyway?

You stared at the screen like it was holding its breath for you.

That message, “What if I want to see you anyway?” felt like too much and not enough, all at once. A confession. A dare. A quiet leap off the edge of something you weren’t sure you’d survive.

No reply came right away.

You waited, chest tight, thumb hovering like you might take it back.

And then, finally:

[go4goald2]: Are you sure?

[go4goald2]: I can tell you where. Or I can come to you. Doesn’t matter how far. I’d show up.

You didn’t know what to do with that. The certainty. The promise. It slid under your ribs and settled there, warm and terrifying.

Your thumbs hovered.

[lostinthecrowd]: Barcelona.

You hit send and stared at it like it might echo back at you.

The typing bubble flickered.

Then:

[go4goald2]: No way! I’m not far from there. Funny how small the world gets when you want to find someone.

[go4goald2]: There’s a park not far from the center. Quiet, not a lot of people this time of day. Benches near the pond. Friday? Afternoon?

Friday.

You glanced at the calendar. That was tomorrow.

Alexia wasn’t due back until Saturday.

You chewed your lip.

Typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: Okay. Friday. 3PM. I’ll be there.

Your stomach flipped.

[go4goald2]: You don’t have to dress up. I just want it to be real.

And god. That hit harder than it should’ve.

You let the words sit for a while. Then replied:

[lostinthecrowd]: I’m nervous. Like… really nervous.

[go4goald2]: Me too. I keep thinking… What if I ruin the version of me you made up in your head?

[lostinthecrowd]: Maybe we’re both scared of being seen.

[go4goald2]: But I still want to be. Even if it’s messy.

That was the one that pulled your chest open again. Not in a loud, devastating way. Just quiet. Steady. Like something soft demanding space.

You smiled. A little.

And then, because the universe couldn’t leave you alone for five seconds, your phone buzzed again.

Different thread.

Different gravity.

Ale: Can we go on a date when I’m back? Just one. No pressure. Just us, somewhere soft. I miss seeing you happy.

You didn’t move. Couldn’t.

It felt like the floor shifted beneath you. Like the walls of the apartment tilted, just slightly. Everything inside you paused, holding its breath.

Of course. Of course she’d say that now.

When you’d already agreed to meet someone else. When your heart was already being pulled in two directions, and you weren’t sure who was holding it tighter.

You opened the message. Read it again.

“Somewhere soft.”

She remembered.

You wanted to cry. You wanted to scream. You wanted to throw your phone out the window and pretend none of this ever happened.

Instead, you typed. Slowly. Carefully. Erased it.

Typed again.

“Maybe. I don’t know yet.”

It wasn’t warm, but it wasn’t cold either. It was honest.

And right now, that felt like the only thing you could give.

You stared at your phone like it had just exposed you. Like it had read your thoughts out loud.

Your fingers hovered. Then curled. Then pulled back entirely.

Because this wasn’t innocent anymore.

This was a plan. A place. A person waiting on the other end of a meet-up that you said yes to.

While your wife started making the effort of trying to mend your marriage.

You pressed the heel of your hand against your chest, like you could quiet the storm happening underneath.

“I’m not a cheater,” you whispered to the quiet. To the dog. To no one.

But god, it didn’t feel like the truth.

Because something in you wanted this.

Not to hurt her. Not to run.

But to be chosen, just once, without the history attached.

You swallowed hard.

And for the first time since this all started, the shame didn’t come from what she did to you.

It came from what you were about to do to her.

That evening, the apartment went quiet in that way that didn’t feel peaceful, just still. Like the world had pressed pause and forgotten to hit play again.

You didn’t cook. Didn’t clean. You couldn’t even remember if you’d eaten.

You sat on the floor instead. Cross-legged in the warm patch of light near the window. The carpet was soft under your fingertips, Tofu a few inches away, belly-up and blissed out like none of this was his problem.

And he was right. None of it was.

You watched the dust float in the air, caught by the last of the sun. Tried to match your breathing to something, anything, but every inhale felt offbeat. Too shallow. Too loud.

It should’ve been simple.

You loved her. You did.

Even when she let you fall apart quietly. Even when you stopped asking her to notice. You still wanted to believe that the good version of her, the one who used to wrap her arms around your grief like it was something she could carry too, that version still existed.

And maybe she did.

Maybe she was coming back.

But then there was them. The stranger who didn’t feel like a stranger anymore. The one who never saw how you looked like, never watched you shut down in real time, but somehow knew exactly where to speak light into your dark.

And that scared the hell out of you.

Because it felt safe. Because it felt new. Because it felt like something you didn’t have to work so hard to keep.

Your gaze landed on the edge of the couch where Alexia’s blanket was still folded. You hadn’t washed it. Part of you wanted to. Scrub it clean of her. Make it smell like detergent instead of memory.

But you didn’t.

Because the truth was: you still curled up in it on the nights that felt heavier than they should.

You leaned your head back against the couch and let your eyes close.

Am I the bad guy now?

You didn’t say it out loud. Just let it echo.

Because wasn’t that the worst part? That you didn’t even know who you were rooting for anymore?

Yourself?

Your marriage?

Your undoing?

Tofu let out a dramatic little huff and pressed his nose to your ankle, like he could sense the unraveling.

You reached for him without thinking, hand sliding across his soft side, grounding yourself in the simple fact of his presence.

“She gave you to me,” you whispered. “And now I don’t know what to do with any of it.”

He didn’t answer. Just blinked at you with that dumb, unconditional loyalty you were starting to envy.

You picked up your phone.

Didn’t open it.

Didn’t scroll.

Just held it. Like a secret. Like a lit match you were scared to put down or use.

What if seeing them changes everything?

What if it ruins the version of yourself that’s still trying to believe you can fix this?

What if it makes you want something you can’t explain?

The idea of going back to who you were before felt impossible. But going forward, without knowing who would be standing next to you?

That felt just as dangerous.

The sky outside bled into lavender. The room got colder. You didn’t move.

Not yet.

Just sat there in the quiet, heart in your throat, phone in your lap, dog at your feet.

You must’ve dozed off at some point.

When your eyes blinked open, the light had shifted again. Warmer. Golden. The kind that made everything look softer than it really was.

Your head was tilted against the couch, your hand still curled around Tofu’s back, and your phone… still sitting untouched.

But the moment you closed your eyes again, you weren’t in the apartment anymore.

You were in a kayak. Red. Wobbly. Drifting down a lazy river somewhere in northern Catalonia, back when the heat clung to your skin and love felt like it could conquer everything. Alexia was behind you, her paddle mostly useless, feet kicked up like this was a goddamn vacation and not a couple activity. Her hair was stuffed into a crooked braid, her shoulders already pink from the sun she swore "wasn't that strong."

"You’re gonna burn," you told her without looking back.

"Impossible," she said. "I’m invincible. Also I have olive skin, remember?"

You rolled your eyes. "Sunscreen doesn't care about your bloodline, babe."

She laughed. Loud. Carefree. The kind of laugh that made your chest crack open a little wider every time.

Later that night, she lay face-down on your bed, moaning into the pillow like a dying Victorian orphan.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," you said, smirking as you dabbed aloe on the back of her neck.

She groaned. "I regret everything except loving you."

You paused. Only for a second.

Because she said it like it was a joke. But it didn’t land like one.

And in that moment, her skin hot, her hair a mess, her voice low and unguarded, you knew. Not the lightning-bolt kind of knowing. Just soft. Obvious. Like looking down and realizing your hands were already full.

You loved her.

Not the polished version. Not the public one.

You loved this Alexia. Burnt and bratty and too proud to admit it.

The memory hit hard now.

Your eyes opened, throat tight, guilt curling low in your stomach.

Because you hadn’t stopped loving her. Not really. Not even through the worst of it. The silence. The distance. The ache of not being chosen.

She was trying again.

And a part of you still wanted to believe in the version of her who once said I regret everything except loving you.

But then there was go4goald2.

Someone who didn’t carry your history like a weight. Someone who made you feel seen in real-time, even if they didn’t know what your voice sounded like out loud.

You sat up slowly, wiped the sleep from your eyes, and looked at your phone.

You still wanted to meet them.

Maybe not to fall in love. Maybe not to escape.

But to say thank you.

For holding space when you couldn’t hold yourself. For reminding you what it felt like to laugh without fear. For showing you that there was still a version of you left worth loving.

You didn’t know what would happen tomorrow.

But you knew one thing, at least.

You weren’t choosing between love and loneliness anymore.

You were choosing between two kinds of hope.

You woke up before your alarm.

Didn’t check your phone. Didn’t need to. Today was already sitting in your chest like static, too loud, too charged, too much. You made coffee with hands that wouldn’t stop shaking. Brushed your teeth twice. Put on a playlist and turned it off before the first chorus.

Tofu stayed close, like he could sense the storm under your skin. He followed you from room to room, tail wagging, expression confused. You kept petting him like that would settle something. Like you could tether yourself to the day through his fur alone.

You showered. Washed your hair. Put on your favorite jeans, the ones Alexia used to tease you about for being “aggressively soft”, then changed into different ones. Stood in front of your closet like maybe it would whisper instructions. Settled on something neutral. Safe.

Breakfast was two bites of toast and a glass of water you forgot to finish.

You didn’t let yourself think about what the meeting would feel like. You just kept your head down. Focused on the little things. Zipping the jacket. Filling Tofu’s travel bowl. Making sure your phone was charged. Reapplying lip balm for the third time, like it might protect you from whatever this was turning into.

You clipped on Tofu’s leash. Reached for the doorknob. Exhaled.

Then you heard it.

The key.

Turning in the lock.

You froze, heart jamming sideways in your chest.

The door opened slowly, hesitant, like the person on the other side didn’t know if they were still welcome.

And then you saw her.

Alexia.

But not composed, camera-ready Alexia. Not the confident girl you used to trail behind like sunlight. This version looked destroyed. Her hair was half-tied, frizzed at the edges, cheeks blotchy from dried tears. There were shadows under her eyes that hadn't been there before. Her hoodie was stained, clinging to her shoulders like it couldn’t decide whether to hang on or fall off. The duffel on her back was lopsided. Her laces were untied. And she was breathing like she’d run every step from the airport to your door.

You blinked. You weren’t sure if you were hallucinating.

“You’re back early.”

She didn’t smile. Didn’t say anything soft. Just stood there, swaying slightly.

“I wanted to surprise you,” she said, like it physically hurt to speak.

Your hand clenched tighter around Tofu’s leash.

She looked down. Saw the bag. The keys. The phone still lit in your other hand, half a sentence still unsent.

You didn’t mean to say it. But it slipped out, sharp and trembling.

“I’m meeting someone.”

She blinked. Like it stunned her. Like she hadn’t let herself believe it was real until now.

“You don’t have to go.”

You stared at her. “You don’t even know who it is.”

“I think I do.”

You stepped back. Confused. “What?”

Alexia reached into her hoodie, pulled out her phone with shaking hands, tapped something. Then she stopped and looked at you, not as a wife. Not as a lover. As something closer to a stranger asking for a chance.

Your phone buzzed.

Chattr.

One new message.

[go4goald2]: Just say the word. I’ll be there.

Your stomach dropped.

You didn’t look up right away. Couldn’t.

You stared at the message, willing it to be a joke, a glitch, anything but what it was.

Then you looked at her.

And the look on her face told you everything.

“It’s you,” you breathed. Not a question, but a realization clawing its way out of your throat.

Alexia didn’t nod. Didn’t move. She just stood there like her bones couldn’t take the weight of it either.

“It’s always been me,” she whispered.

And then everything inside you, every cell, every thread, recoiled.

“No.” You backed up further, voice rising. “No, that’s not.. It can’t be.”

“I didn’t lie,” she said quickly. “I just didn’t say”

“Didn’t say?” you cut in, a half-laugh cracking out of your throat.

“You tricked me, Alexia. You let me think someone else cared about me.”

“I did care about you,” she said, voice breaking. “Every word was real. I didn’t know how else to talk to you without hurting you again.”

“So you catfished your wife?”

She flinched. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it?” You threw your arms up. “What?! some twisted experiment? You wanted to see if I’d fall in love with you blindfolded?”

“No!” She stepped forward, and for once, she looked scared. “I just... I missed your voice. I missed being someone you trusted. And I knew if I showed up as me, you’d never let me in.”

“You’re right,” you said, and your voice was colder than you’d ever heard it. “Because I trusted you. And you used it.”

She was crying now, full-body crying, not bothering to hide it. “I thought maybe if I gave you space to choose me without the pain, we could start over.”

“But you didn’t give me space,” you said. “You gave me a lie.”

The words hit her like a blow. Her knees almost buckled under the weight of them.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“And yet,” you snapped, “here we are.”

You looked down at Tofu, who was watching both of you with ears pinned back, tail thumping slow and uncertain.

Your throat was tight. Like grief trying to turn into fire.

“I opened up to you,” you whispered. “Whoever you were. I told you things I never got to say to you. And you just... stood there. Letting me think I’d found someone new.”

“I was someone new,” she said, barely audible. “Someone trying. Someone who never stopped loving you.”

You shook your head. Everything inside you was loud now. Blistering.

“I don’t know what the hell I feel right now,” you said, and you meant it. “But I know I can’t feel it here.”

You crouched down, unclipped the leash.

“Tofu, stay,” you murmured, your voice trembling.

He whined, tail sweeping the floor once before going still.

You straightened and looked at Alexia. Not angry, not bitter, just… Tired. Worn through at the edges.

“I’m leaving you,” you said, steady now. “But not alone.”

She blinked. Confused.

You gestured toward the dog, your throat thick. “Because I don’t ever want anyone to feel the way you made me feel.”

You walked to the door, opened it, and left.

Not because you stopped caring.

But because for the first time in months, you needed her to feel what it meant to be left standing in the wreckage alone.

Tofu stayed by the door.

Still. Watching.

Like even he understood that this type of forgiveness doesn’t come with words.

It has to be earned. Step by brutal step.

Pt. 6

[ahundredtimesover]

Something About You (05) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: friends au, vacation au, slow burn, romcom-ish vibe; adulting; inspired by AYS; PE teacher!JK and researcher!OC; fluff, comfort, smut (?)

Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption, minor injuries (18+)

Word count: 22.1k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series Summary: You and Jungkook have been friends for a decade. And while he’s the charming and dependable, often reserved boy-next-door, he’s also just been a friend - a constant in your life, a part of a whole, and someone who’s seen all the flawed and probably unattractive sides of you.

A resumption of your friend group’s out-of-town trips has caused you to spend more time with him. And somewhere in between the morning coffee in the forest, running around in the snow, and watching the sunset on a boat, he’s become something more. And you’re not quite sure how to deal with it.

🎶: Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney || Yes or No by Jungkook

A/N: This is a long one! If you're reading this, I hope you feel the flutter of butterflies and that warmth I felt while writing. ☺️ And definitely listen to  Beautiful Soul and Yes or No!

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?”

You turn to Jungkook with a questioning look, waiting to see if he’ll change his mind. He’s been the one driving whenever you have a trip and you offered to be the one to drive both of you to the airport this time but he refused. While you know he enjoys this, you thought it might be nice to let him rest even a little bit.

“You’ve had a long day.”

“So have you,” he answers. “And you know I don’t mind. You can just sleep during the drive and then again during the flight.”

You pout again because of his refusal to accept your offer but you let him and no longer argue. Perhaps it’s what he needs after the day he’s had.

It’s a Thursday and there’s a long weekend ahead, which is why this trip to Jeju was scheduled at this time. Taehyung leaves for New York in three weeks and Seokjin and Hayoung are getting married in two months. This is the perfect time to get the group together again before the three of them go through major life changes, and none of you would miss it for the world. 

You had a Board presentation that you couldn’t miss in the afternoon and Jungkook had classes until 3 PM, which then extended because of a parent meeting he had to attend. It’s why both of you had to book the later flight while everyone else flew in at noon. They sent a photo of all of them gathered by the pool at the rented house, and you couldn’t wait to finally clock out and switch off so you could relax and enjoy, too, even for just a few days.

Jungkook instructs you to buckle your seatbelt then heads off, undoubtedly tired but still alert and cautious while driving. You look at him and try to see if something’s different, if this really is the same man you’ve known for years. You look away at the reminder that yes, he is, and he’s not the one that’s changed. It’s probably you.

“Everything okay?” He asks as he glances at your direction.

“Yup,” you answer too quickly. “Just… you know, tired and excited.”

“Take a nap then,” he suggests. “Time will fly by and we’ll be at the airport and then in Jeju before you know it.”

“I’m fine. I can, uh, keep you company or something,” you shrug. “You kinda don’t have a choice.”

“I don’t mind it,” he says, the little dip on his cheek forming as he smiles.

Has he always looked this charming?

You shake your head as if to snap out of it. 

It’ll take an hour to get to Incheon. You feel like you’d miss out if you slept and you internally scold yourself because a month ago, you totally would’ve dozed off right away. 

Well, not this time. But even if it’s your own choice to stay up, you suppose that the universe was still playing with you because of all the times to be stuck with Jungkook, it just had to be now when your heart has been acting a little too weird.

It started right after the college reunion party almost two weeks ago. You had him sleep over at your place after some asshole busted his lip, and that’s when the thoughts of possible feelings started invading your mind. You blame Jimin, really, and you’d contemplated on keeping your distance from Jungkook to sort yourself out but that’s impossible given this trip.

It didn’t help that you promised his students you’d watch their final taekwondo match - which they won - so you spent last Saturday with him, too. 

Your heart still kept doing that thing, especially whenever you found your eyes locked on him even if he wasn’t even the one on the mat. You went out to dinner after that, and you couldn’t help but pay attention - to the way he cooked your samgyeopsal the way you wanted, to how he made sure you always had them on your plate, to how he held off the perilla leaf for you so you could peel it off. 

Suddenly, everything he did made you smile, like how he kept scolding himself for eating so much and then cutely asking if you were okay to wait in line with him at this pop-up dessert store. 

So many things also started to seem attractive to you, like the way he stood during the match with his hands in his pockets and the way he combed his hair with his fingers after he removed his baseball cap. Even the way he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel while he drove became quite hypnotizing, just like right now, and you’re unsure where all these thoughts are coming from. Or if they’ll stop.

“So, how was your meeting with the Board?” He asks, disrupting your visions of him.

“Long,” you chuckle sarcastically. “The world’s in shambles and we have to be strategic in deciding which research projects to move forward with since funding is scarce. And you, how was your meeting with the parents?”

“Productive,” he hums. “I stepped out then met with their son. We were playing catch then I bought him ice cream then he opened up. I think we’re getting somewhere.”

Jungkook had mentioned one of his students has been displaying aggressive behaviors and wouldn’t talk to anyone apart from him. He realized early on in his teaching career the weight of his responsibility as an educator, and that just because he taught PE, it doesn’t mean he was limited to just sports or physical health. 

As it turned out, he’s very relatable to his students, and perhaps his laid-back and placid nature has a lot to do with that. It’s what prompted him to read more research and watch documentaries on adolescent mental health and how sports could help with managing it. 

You’ve been directing him to the appropriate resources and even linked him up with a professional who could speak to the faculty regarding child development so it’s a topic you’ve been talking about more. He tells you about their email exchange until he says that neither of you will be talking about work this weekend.

So you tell him about the sci-fi horror film you watched with Mo-eum last night and how you were both screaming at the same time then just ended up laughing at each other. Jungkook says she’s more of a scaredy-cat than you are but you express fear much more openly and you agree. 

“I heard we can set up an outdoor movie theater in the house,” he smirks at you. “We have a couple of options.”

“Jimin’s gonna push me away again if I scream in his ear,” you frown. 

“I won’t,” he says nonchalantly, and you have to pretend to yawn so you don’t have to keep looking at him without saying anything back. 

What’s that supposed to mean anyway? You try to recall if he’s also always been this bold and you’re just getting affected now, but it gives you a headache so you change the subject.

You end up talking about where you’re gonna be eating in Jeju and memories of your first trip there as a group a few  years ago. 

And so time flies. You’re parking at the airport carpark before you know it. You check in at the counter then enter the departure area. It’s when your stomach starts to grumble that you drag Jungkook around to find some snacks that you feel like having. You find a stall that sells various kinds of croquettes, kind of like the ones you had in Japan a few months ago.

You’re wiggling in excitement and so is he. Cheese was his favorite and though it’s not the same, you’re both happy that they at least look like it. 

You buy some drinks and find a spot and begin trying each type you got. He bites one then feeds it to you; you bite one then feed it to him, too. It feels natural, as this is something both of you have definitely done before and you never minded. But now, you have to force your brain to stop overthinking things just so you don’t start acting weird because of it. 

It’s when you’ve both decided your favorite flavors that your phone starts to ring. You pick up the video call and see your friends on the screen, showing you the barbecue and dinner set up in the property’s outdoor space. Mo-eum’s voice goes through, saying that there’s a feast waiting for you and Jungkook when you arrive. Seeing the table now, your eyes widen at the quality and quantity of meat and vegetables laid out. 

“We’ve got ramen, lots of beer, so many snacks… Jungkook’s gonna go wild in here,” she adds. 

“I’m already drooling,” he tells her.

Your older friends greet and tell you to get there quick as the phone gets passed around. Finally, it reaches Jimin and Taehyung, who both surface from the pool and proceed to ask you and Jungkook where you are and what you’ve been doing. 

“Eating,” you answer with your mouth half-full. “I found this stall and they sell croquettes that remind me of the ones from the rest stop going to the ski resort. It’s so goo–”

“Yah,” Jungkook disrupts you with a nudge on your arm. 

You turn to your side to face him. “What?”

He takes a piece of napkin and wipes the sticky sauce that you didn’t realize has dripped on your hoodie. Your eyes follow his hand that tries to remove the stain, and just as you’re about to sweetly thank him, he flicks your nose to tease, catching you completely off guard. You shriek in surprise and smack his chest, which is your natural response to something like that. 

You glare at him but your facade breaks when he scrunches his nose in amusement. 

“Dude, wipe your mouth,” he scolds. “Do I have to wipe the crumbs off you, too?”

“What?” you ask, brushing them off with your fingers.

You take his phone and open the camera to assess your face. Once you’ve cleaned yourself, you snap a photo and return the device on the table.

“Did you just take a picture?” He groans. 

“Yup,” you flutter your eyelashes. 

Jungkook sees that it’s a silly face and decides to send it to your group chat of five to tease, though he doesn’t deny the giddiness he feels at the act. 

It’s something you’d totally do. He’s seen random photos of you in Jimin’s and Taehyung’s photo album and you always say that maybe one of their cute friends sees it and asks for your number or something, but you say none of that to him this time.

“Wow, the one time Kook sends a text, it’s a picture of ___,” Taehyung laughs, earning him a glare from the said man. 

But you don’t seem bothered. Jungkook’s unsure if you even heard it over Jimin’s giggling and the laughter in the background, but it’s enough for him to text his friend to shut up, earning him a chuckle this time.

You talk a bit with Hayoung and she reminds you of the instructions upon your arrival. It’s not long after when you drop the call and start heading towards the gate. 

You don’t wait too long but during that period, you start feeling the exhaustion from the day. You know you’re gonna need to sleep during the flight so you could have enough energy to keep up with your friends for the rest of the evening. You’re definitely gonna make sure to make the most out of this trip to celebrate your cousin and soon-to-be cousin-in-law and of course, to savor your time with Taehyung before he leaves again. 

You’ll do your best to not overthink this whole Jungkook thing for now and decide to just be natural about everything. You don’t want him thinking that something’s wrong if you start acting differently because you know yourself - if he asks, you’ll most likely say something and you’re unsure if you’re ready for what will happen after. 

The call for boarding is announced and you follow Jungkook’s lead to the plane. He sits on the window seat like last time, and you’re reminded of the Japan trip again and how he made sure you got to sleep properly during the flight. 

It’s a smaller aircraft this time and a shorter flight time so you won’t need to lie on his lap or anything. But the thought of being alone with him makes you a little nervous so you try to talk about something to make sure you balance out all the times that you’ll be lost in your thoughts of him.

“Those croquettes were good but the ones at that rest stop were still superior,” you sigh.

“Yeah. That was seriously one of the best things I’ve ever eaten,” he hums, reminiscing about that trip, which he tends to do a lot because of you.

“Do you ever just think about that trip, Kook?” You ask as you gaze out the window and watch the sky change colors. “Do you miss it and wish you were back?”

“I do,” he hums, downplaying it a little. If you only knew. “I miss the food, the snow, the long drives… There’re lots of great memories from that trip.”

“I miss those bits, too,” you smile. “You still have the whiskey I got you?”

“Yup, barely touched.”

“What! I thought you liked it!”

“Exactly,” he points out. “So I have to savor it. I can only get it from that town, and during the Christmas season, and the chances of me going there again are slim. Plus, you gave that to me and you’ve never given me anything. It’s like, a memento–”

“Of our friendship?” You say mindlessly. 

You internally smack yourself because though you could sometimes be a dense person like your friends say - and only because you’re used to expressing your feelings and attraction first, as you like to argue - you’re not that dumb. You’re worried that you just drew a hard line by saying the F word but then again, why is that such a concern to you?

You realize he hasn’t replied and it’s been a few seconds already so you slowly turn to him. He meets your eyes and says that it is, then gives you a soft smile before he looks out the window. 

Jungkook wouldn’t describe that exchange as him being friendzoned. As the optimist that he is, he’d like to think that your gift to him meant that much to you, too. 

You’re the one who offered to get it for him and insisted it was a gift. After years of being friends, that was the first time you’d ever given him anything, and whatever it means, there was a change somehow. That’s a bottle that always brings a smile to his face whenever he opens his liquor cabinet and sees it. He’ll definitely keep it there for as long as he can.

You return your gaze out the window and glance at him. You’re glad that the gift means that much to him. You have the snow globes on the shelf by your desk and whenever you see them, you’re reminded of the snow-covered towns and the warmth from that whole week. 

More recently, you think about the mornings where you watched Jungkook from the passenger seat as he navigated the icy roads. You think about your conversations and how he gave you a piggyback ride and then treated your sore muscles.

He has always been a good friend so you’re not wrong to describe that gift as a memento of your friendship. You know that what you share is something you deeply treasure, but you also wonder if it means the bond has strengthened then, or if somewhere along the way, it started to feel something more. 

The plane takes off and Jungkook turns to you, looking every bit comfortable and comfy with his oversized hoodie and beanie. He gestures towards his shoulder, offering it to you.

“You sleep,” you say softly, knowing how tired he is, too. 

“I will,” he yawns, sinking further down his seat and leaning on the window, his eyes slowly falling.

You nod, knowing that it’s the more natural thing to do. So you take your pillow to hug then lean on Jungkook’s shoulder, immediately finding a position that doesn’t strain your neck. 

But your arms are a bit too awkward being in each other’s way and you see him adjust his. He slightly lifts it and you take the hint, wrapping your arms around his arm instead like an added pillow. 

Now this feels natural, as you feel him settle himself more comfortably next to you and you do the same. You suppose that’s how it is with people you’ve known for years - you just adapt and accommodate each other. You manage the exhaustion and inconveniences and just figure out how to make things comfortable and fun. 

You know it’s always been like this with Jungkook and you think back to these past months and how it’s been easier, more enjoyable, and something you keep searching for. 

Maybe this is what it’s like to pay attention to your feelings. Because as you snuggle closer and he pulls you in, your hand brushes against his, and then the sudden urge to hold it fills you up inside.

You wake up from your hour-long nap feeling only a tiny bit better. You wish there was more time, but you’re also not sure if it’s because of the need for more sleep or something else.

Jungkook still looks tired, but he sits up and pats your head, then asks if you slept well. You nod as you take a deep breath and there’s a moment where you just look at each other, still in your own little world of comfort and peace.

He breaks it and curiously looks around, and you ask him what he’s looking for.

“Trying to see if there are angry passengers who might’ve been disturbed by the snoring from these seats,” he purses his lips.

It takes a few seconds for you to process what he means, and you smack his chest when you do.

“Hey, I didn’t say it was you. It could’ve been me,” he defends.

“Yeah, you do snore quite loudly,” you hum. “But apparently not much when you’re not comfortably in bed. Maybe I’m the same.”

“True. Well, no one’s giving us the death glare so I think we’re clear.”

You just laugh at him in response then get ready to deplane.

You get your bags from the carousel quite quickly and you immediately find your driver holding up a sign with your names. You get inside the car and once you start moving, you open your window to feel the wind blow on your face. It’s the last month of spring and it’s the kind of coolness that you think is perfect for this island life. It’s chilly but not too much. The sun is bearable and gives the right amount of warmth. 

Jungkook glances at you as you enjoy the evening breeze. You’ve both just arrived but it’s felt like a dream since he’s been with you, especially when you cuddled with him on the plane. It felt bittersweet that he was exhausted. He at least didn’t completely lose his mind from the giddiness, but he also wished he could’ve savored it more. 

Still, he’s not one to complain. He gave the opening but you’re the one who moved closer. He decides that maybe that’s how he’ll go about these four days.

You arrive at the house in less than half an hour and you could already hear all the noise that your friends are making. Hoseok is the one who opens the gate and excitedly greets you. 

You enter the property and are in awe with how it’s set up. There are two houses perpendicular to each other. There’s a pool on the left side and in the center of it all is an area with trees and hammocks, a small fire pit, the barbecue grill, and picnic tables. 

You try to take it all in in the midst of hugging all your friends and trying to tell them how your flight went. 

“We just… slept,” you answer as most of them gather around you. “Neither of us snored. I think.”

“There were no complaints so I think we were fine,” Jungkook adds. 

“So, how did you sleep?” Jimin whispers in your ear. “Was it your head on his lap, his head on your lap? Or did you just lean on his shoulder? Did he– ow, fuck!”

You glare at him as you let go of the tiny sliver of skin you just pinched.

“You’re a brat,” you groan.

“And you’re being sensitive,” he bites back. 

“Yah! Can we not have fights during this farewell and pre-wedding party, please?” Taehyung calls you and Jimin out as he walks closer.

“She pinched me! And I literally just asked her a question,” Jimin complains. 

“What was the question?” Taehyung seems curious now. 

“How they slept.”

Taehyung looks at you with wide, even more curious eyes. “Ooh, was it like this?”

He takes out his phone and shows you a picture of Jungkook with a peace sign on an airplane and then there’s… you. Sleeping on his lap. This was during the flight to Sapporo when you were so tired and sleepy. You didn’t realize there was a photo of this moment.

“Where’d you get this?” You ask.

“In the shared photo album of the trip, duh,” he answers. “Mo-eum took it and saved it there.”

“Why is it saved on your photo album?” 

“Because she sent it to me right after she took it. She thought it was cute,” Taehyung shrugs. “Don’t you remember seeing this?”

“I might’ve… But like, we had hundreds of pictures. I guess I just… swiped past it,” you say, furrowing your eyebrows as you try to remember if you’d seen it and what you felt that time. 

“Yeah, because you weren’t really paying attention back then,” Jimin points out. “So, answer the question.”

“I… leaned on his shoulder,” you finally say. “Just like how I do with both of you!”

“Sure, it’s totally the same,” Jimin says while rolling his eyes, causing Taehyung to laugh.

“Jiminie,” you whine. “Hug me.”

“You’re such a baby,” he groans, but proceeds to hug you because he always does, and he knows it’s what you need right now. “You can also hug Kook, you know?”

“No, I’m shy.”

“When were you ever shy with affection?”

“Never, that’s why I’m hugging you instead.”

“Are you… crushing on him?” He gasps. “Like, for real?”

“Shut up. This is all your fault. You put ideas in my head.”

“Hey,” he says, pulling away to look at you. He cups your face with his hands, urging you to meet his eyes. “I asked a question that time because of the conversation we were having. I floated an idea and if it got you thinking, great. But don’t be carried away by what I said, okay? It’s about what you feel.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been paying attention, like you said,” you pout. 

“And?”

“I snuggled close to him and it felt nice,” you say softly with your head bowed down, somehow shy about everything you’re revealing to your best friend.

“That’s good then,” Jimin smiles now as he tilts your chin to face him. “Maybe you’re still figuring things out or letting things progress over time or you’re making sure that it’s all genuine. And that’s fine. That’s… kinda what happens in non-whirlwind romances. Not that that’s bad but… you know what I mean.”

“I do,” you sigh. “But yeah. I don’t wanna act too differently because I don’t want him to ask me if anything’s wrong because I might blurt it all out.”

“Well, he’s gonna ask you either way with how you’re freaking out,” Jimin says, gesturing to the side when you look at him confused. “He was glancing at you looking worried. He might think something’s up.”

“Ugh. Why is he so attentive,” you whine. 

“Well, someone has to be when it comes to you.”

You make a face and before you can say anything more, Yoongi disrupts the conversation and tells you to bring your things inside and dress up because your dinner is almost ready.

“Thank you, uncle,” you hum, hugging him tightly.

You hear him groaning in response because it’s Yoongi and he’ll always make that reaction before hugging you back. 

“Go. The meat’s perfect when it’s just off the grill,” he says.

“Yes, uncle!” you yell before heading inside with your luggage.

But of course, Jungkook catches up to you and asks you if you’re okay.

“Yup. I just had to release my last remaining negative energy about this afternoon’s meeting to Jimin and now they’re all gone,” you lie. “I am going to just have fun these next few days and… go with the flow.”

“Sounds good,” Jungkook smiles. “So uh, they suggested getting our swimsuits on so we could go straight into the pool after. Otherwise we’d be too full to change.”

“Yeah, we should,” you hum. “Can I get in first?” You gesture towards the bathroom.

“Sure. I can dress up in the other bathroom. Want me to bring your bag up already?”

“Oh, okay. Let me just grab my stuff.”

You get your bathing suit and a cover up then get changed. You wash your face and tell yourself to just get it together and enjoy yourself while spending time with Jungkook and maybe that’ll make things clearer for you. 

You open the door and shriek in surprise, as right outside the door is Jungkook, checking something in the cupboards… in nothing but his black swim shorts. 

His taut arm is in view, and when he turns to face you with a questioning look, so are his toned chest and abs. You forget sometimes how built he is underneath all the oversized clothing and that this is literally the body you snuggled to earlier, just with clothes on.

And now that you have this little crush, everything about him is now magnified. Has he always been this… hot?

“I didn’t even scare you,” he says, breaking you out of your thoughts. “I was going to but I was worried you’ll fall back and hit your head on the floor.”

“Wow, thanks for looking after my wellbeing,” you say sarcastically. 

“Of course. That’s very important,” he smiles and pats your head, which again is a normal thing he does. But when he’s half naked doing it, you suppose you don’t blame your heartbeat for racing the way it’s doing now. 

You walk back outside together and you scurry towards the picnic table, forcing your spot between Hayoung and Seokjin. You decide right then that taking a break from looking at or being near Jungkook’s bare body is the better choice, at least during dinner. 

But that doesn’t mean you don’t glance at the pool area where he is because you do, and he just happens to be playing with the water guns with Jimin and Taehyung. You hear his child-like laughter, which is a contrast to the way his body flexes in response to the water. It’s already giving you a whiplash.

The conversation you’re currently having is at least entertaining, so you’re able to focus on this and not on the suddenly-so-handsome half-naked man not far away. 

Until, of course, Yoongi calls him over because dinner is ready, and Jungkook rushes towards where you are, quickly wipes himself dry, then takes the seat between Namjoon and Suhyeon that they offered. Right in front of you. Yoongi places a platter of grilled meat and vegetables on the table while Seokjin passes two bowls of rice. 

Jungkook’s hair is quite damp and there are beads of water sliding down his very visible chest and you find yourself being hypnotized by how he looks that you don’t hear him calling your name.

“Hmm?” You finally shift your gaze to his face.

“I was calling you,” he says. “What are you even looking at?”

“You took all the meat with fat,” you frown, lying like it’s second nature. 

You take some pieces from his plate and he laughs at your expression.

“What did you want?”

“I was gonna ask if you wanted beer,” he shrugs.

“Yes,” you smile. “And a bottle of soju, please.”

He nods and jogs towards the cooler then returns with exactly what you asked for. You get back to eating, feeling like you’re in heaven with how perfectly the meat is cooked. You sing your praises to Yoongi, who says his joy in life is making sure his friends are fed with good food all the time. 

There’s a lot of laughter and singing to accompany your meal. Mo-eum takes you around the property when you finish, saying how much prettier it is when the sun’s out. When you feel like you’ve digested enough, you head to the pool where the rest of your friends are hanging out.

“Obligatory rock-paper-scissors match underwater!” Taehyung yells. “Loser drinks a cup of my brother’s terrible concoction. Seriously, it sucks so don’t lose.”

It takes a while before it registers that he’s talking to you and Jungkook as the latecomers. Everyone has played and five already had the drink, so both of you make your way to the pool. 

You moan at the feel of the warm water and you’re glad you didn’t pass up on the night swim. With the soft music and your friends laughing about, it’s the kind of vibe that you’ve been needing, nevermind that you have to sit on the pool floor in front of Jungkook, play a game, then get smacked on the cheek every time you lose. One side is see-through, so your friends watch you from there.

You try your best to act naturally around him, so you bicker and whine like you normally do. It’s a best of seven and he’s up, 3 - 0, needing only one more win. But you score on the next game and in your excitement, you smack his face a little too hard. 

You're surprised with how forceful you were, so you surface from the water and he follows after you. Your hand is still on his cheek and you’re apologizing immediately, palming the spot and asking if he’s okay. Your friends are laughing hard and you giggle while also looking apologetic. 

“What did I do to you?” He wails, as he places his hand on top of yours. “I was hitting you so softly!”

“I know but I got excited!” You reason. “And your cheeks are so soft and so smackable.”

“Wow. Thanks,” he deadpans.

You laugh in response and say you’ll give up the point as punishment, making him the winner, but he insists that he can keep playing and you might even win. 

You mask your giddiness over him pulling you back with his fingers with a look of competitiveness and resume the game. You score the next one but he gets a point after you, and you concede immediately. He’s always been good at this game anyway.

He follows you out of the pool and you get the cup that Taehyung hands you. You smell it and gag, but you take the penalty and take a sip. You gag even more and Jungkook asks you how it is.

“Terrible,” you wince, making him smell the cup until he’s drinking it himself.

“Oh, that’s torture,” he says. “I can drink it for you.”

“But I lost.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugs.

“I drink half and you drink the rest,” you offer, and he nods in agreement.

He follows through, earning you boos from your friends who say that you didn’t fully honor the punishment, including Jimin who’s smirking at you while doing so. 

You wave them off and say that you’re too tired to finish all that on your own and they let you off the hook.

“Okay, I’m eating something to get that taste off my mouth and my memory,” you groan as you walk down the stairs to go to the eating area.

You start looking around but then you hear Jungkook nearby, saying that there’s Samanco in the freezer. You follow him but stay outside because you’re dripping wet, whereas he seems to have wiped himself before coming down so he enters the house and grabs the red bean flavored fish ice cream. 

“Here,” he says, tearing it open then handing it to you.

“What about you?”

“There’s only one left. They said there wasn’t enough at the store. I don’t need to eat.”

“Have a bite at least,” you offer.

“Fine,” he says, letting you feed him as you push the ice cream towards his mouth.

You watch him as he takes a bite, then you meet his eyes without meaning to do so. He briefly holds your gaze and for a moment, you get lost in it, suddenly feeling this odd mix of shyness and tension that you’ve never felt before. It’s mostly because you’re rarely shy about how you feel but more than that, you’ve never felt this around any of your friends before, and Jungkook is one of them. So this is very… new.

He moves the ice cream away and you come back to your senses. You take a few bites then offer him another one then he lets you eat the rest until it’s all finished. You don’t even realize you both have just been standing there in one corner until you hear Mo-eum yelling your names, so you quickly get back to the group and explain that you just had ice cream.

You return to the water and just soak yourself. You stay with Mo-eum and Jimin on one end, while Jungkook is with Namjoon and Taehyung as they headbang to the music on the other. The rest of your friends are either wading their feet or sitting on the lounge chairs but it’s all good fun. 

Yoongi finally gets up to announce that it’s just past 12 AM and he’s gonna get some sleep, and you reminisce about that one trip you had where most of you were still swimming in the pool and it was 1 AM. 

“Yeah because you drank so much and passed out at 8, then woke up at 11 PM demanding us to swim with you,” Jungkook reminds you. “Then you fell asleep on the floatie.”

Everyone laughs at the memory but you scowl at him and act angry in the midst of stories being shared about that time. 

“Why are you so far from him?” Jimin whispers in your ear while gesturing towards Jungkook. 

“She’s probably still getting over their alone time earlier,” Mo-eum teases, earning her a surprised look from you because she rarely calls you out.

“Seriously, both of you,” you groan as quietly as you can. “I… I’m trying to balance it out. I’m gonna lose my mind if I’m constantly exposed to that… body.”

“So what, he just needs to put clothes on then you’ll act normally?” Jimin cocks an eyebrow.

“He just needs to… I don’t know,” you sigh. “This is on me. I’m feeling and thinking things that are weird and new. I just have to get my shit together.”

“But you spent so much time together recently and it might make him wonder why you’re not calling for him or something,” Mo-eum reasons, which is something you’d also thought about. 

“Yeah and if he asks, you’ll tell the truth but you might also say things prematurely,” Jimin adds.

“I actually considered to kind of distance myself from him,” you admit. “I wanted to know if I’ll miss him and stuff until I remembered we had this trip and I just had to suck it up.”

“Well, you might still miss him even while on this trip if you deliberately stay away. And then things might be even weirder,” Mo-eum says. “Don’t overthink, just feel.”

“And wouldn’t it say a lot if, without thinking too much, you actually look for him?” Jimin adds. “That’s probably a bigger tell.”

“Fine,” you sigh. “I’ll let my body do the figuring out, then.”

You disperse from your little huddle and submerge yourself in the water, as if symbolic of your decision to just let yourself be drowned in whatever you’re experiencing, in hopes that you come out of it more sure of what you really feel. 

Eventually though, you all call it a night, and they let you and Jungkook go first in washing up, given the long day you’ve had. 

You take the bathroom upstairs and quickly get cleaned. It’s after you’ve blow dried your hair and dressed up in pajamas that you feel the weight of today weigh you down, and you suddenly feel like you’ll pass out. 

You lie in bed while Mo-eum takes a shower. Jimin is back and says that Jungkook helped clean one of the platters because it was heavy. You want to see him before you sleep just to say good night but exhaustion overtakes you, and your eyes shut before you know it.

Jungkook sighs - partly out of tiredness and partly out of regret - that he didn’t get back to your room early enough to make sure you were okay for the night. He still would’ve helped Suhyeon and Gyu-rim in cleaning up but still, he could’ve worked faster so he could return to you sooner. 

He shouldn’t be wondering why it’s even a big deal for him, as he’s accepted that he wants to spend time with you as much as he can, especially during a trip like this where the vibe is exactly how he likes it. Even more, your good nights to each other have been quite sentimental to him. 

He remembers that camping trip where he taught you a trick to fall asleep faster. Then in Sapporo, you talked and slept in the same room one night. He also can’t forget when you shared the same bed. 

Outside of your trips, there’s the time you let him stay over, and many others after he’d dropped you off or you spent the whole day together only to separate in the evening. And so now being able to wish you good night this time makes him a little sad.

He’s back in the room that all five of you share - which is the entire second floor - and he finds you already asleep next to Mo-eum who’s on her phone. Jimin is on the other bed next to Taehyung who’s wincing in pain as he rotates his head.

“Kook, my neck hurts from headbanging earlier,” Taehyung pouts. “Can you give me a massage?”

Jungkook nods, as this is one of his roles in the group given his background, then proceeds to knead and stretch his friend’s sore areas. Taehyung moans and asks for an extension.

“Yah, do I look like a massage therapist to you?” Jungkook frowns.

“You could be. That was good,” Taehyung sleepily smiles. “Anyway, thanks. I’m gonna sleep now.”

Jungkook decides to take the floor mattress because he prefers its firmness, so Jimin stays in place and eventually falls asleep. The light from Mo-eum’s phone disappears and she mumbles her good night, leaving him as the only one still awake.

He’s exhausted but his mind won’t let him sleep just yet, even as he tries the tricks he’s taught you. He doesn’t force it and resorts to playing a mobile game under the covers instead. It’s about an hour later when he decides he’ll try falling asleep again and right when he pulls away the covers, he sees you sit up from the bed, rotating your neck and groaning.

He gives a thumbs up sign when you look his way to ask if you’re okay and you shake your head no. So he stands up, heads to you, then kneels down.

“You didn’t headbang with Tae, did you?” He chuckles.

With sleepy eyes and mussed hair, you shake your head again.

“I fell asleep in an odd position and strained my neck,” you mumble. “It hurts.”

He immediately tries to find the spot near the nape of your neck, asking where it hurts and you guide his hand until he finds it. He massages it thoroughly and he takes his time. He gauges from your reaction which areas he should focus on then instructs you to rotate your head in various directions. Your moans are low and even more pronounced given how quiet everything else is. 

“Is that alright?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you respond with a smile. “I feel so much better now. And I don’t want to tire you.”

“You can let me know if it still hurts in the morning.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Without thinking much, Jungkook tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his hand lingering as he fights the urge to do more. 

“I thought I wasn’t gonna be able to say good night to you,” you whisper. “I fell asleep right away.”

“You did,” he chuckles. “I thought the same but then you woke up.”

“I get to say it then,” you smile once more. “Good night.”

Your face is just inches away from his that his heart beats extremely fast and he likes it, he likes the thrill and the calmness from the way you make him feel.

“Good night. I think I’ll be able to sleep now.”

He watches you lie back down and tuck yourself under the covers before he heads back to his mattress. A minute later, he falls asleep.

You wake up to the sound of steady breathing coming from the other bed, and you peek to see that Jimin and Taehyung are still in deep sleep. Mo-eum’s probably washed up, as the space next to you is empty, and you sit up to check how Jungkook is. 

He’s sitting on the mattress, clearly having just woken up, but he turns to you to greet you good morning and ask if your neck is still hurting.

“Not as much, but it’s still a bit sore,” you mumble.

“Just do what I told you. It’ll feel better soon.”

You nod and start rotating it like he said. You check your phone. It’s 10 AM and you’ll have to leave in an hour for lunch, so you head to the sink that, oddly enough is located right outside the bathroom, and start washing your face.

You’re brushing your teeth by the time Jungkook starts walking towards you and you signal for him to give you another massage. He chuckles and stands behind you.

“You might choke,” he warns, and you wave him off and gesture for him to start.

Like you expected, he hits the spot immediately. You get so lost in how good it is that you don’t notice that you’re drooling until he tells you, so you signal that you’ll rinse. He pulls your hair in a ponytail so you could spit and once you’re done, you stand back up and let him continue.

You moan under your breath. You see him with his head turned and realize it might be a bit awkward, so you tell him that you’re all good. You turn around to face him, noting then just how close you are and when you meet his eyes, there’s that urge again to boop his nose and trace his face. You let your eyes wander to his lips for a millisecond before pinching his cheeks so hard that he winces in pain. 

“You brat,” he growls, but it just causes you to laugh and run away from him. 

He washes up while you change in the bathroom then you head downstairs to wait for everyone else. The sun is shining brightly but the breeze is a little cool. You think it’s perfect for what you’ll be doing today and you jiggle in anticipation once you’re complete.

Jungkook and Taehyung take a separate car with Jimin and Gyu-rim because they’ll be retrieving their rented motorcycle and Vespa before heading to the restaurant. You yell out your concern and tell them to be careful before heading to the car with Mo-eum where Seokjin and Hayoung are. 

You arrive at the restaurant and eventually decide on getting some braised kimchi, hairtail fish, and a bunch of other dishes that get you excited. You’ve been looking forward to this after Jungkook said how good the food was since he’s the only one who’s eaten here before, and you truly can’t wait. 

The rest of your friends arrive shortly after all the food has been served. Your attention shifts to Jungkook, who sits towards the end of the table while you’re in the middle, and your eyes briefly meet before you indulge yourself. Hayoung and Suhyeon alternately fill your plate as they often do, and moans of satisfaction quickly fill the restaurant.

The view of the ocean is as perfect as the meal and you’re truly thankful that you get to share all this with your friends. The seat next to you frees up, and you make Taehyung take it so you could hug him, as it slowly sinks in that he’s gonna be leaving in a few weeks.

“We’ll be back to video calls and you scolding me when I’m not getting rest and worrying when I’m not well because you can’t just show up at my apartment to make sure I’m taking care of myself,” you sigh. 

“Nah, I won’t be too worried,” he smiles softly at you. “You’re in good hands.”

“Jimin and Mo-eum are worse than I am,” you point out.

“Kook isn’t.”

“Hmm,” is all you say, unsure if you want to openly talk about your feelings now, although you probably will before he leaves. 

“You’ll be fine, ___. Just follow your heart,” he whispers.

“Have you been talking to Jimin?” You cock your eyebrow, suspicious now if they’ve been discussing things behind your back.

“I don’t know what you’re implying,” he says. “You know me, I say random shit. Take it how you want.”

You groan at him for being another person who’s making you think. But he just laughs at you and leaves you to your own thoughts when Mo-eum calls him to go to the balcony because she needs some air.

The others have also gone outside except for Yoongi and Gyu-rim and you’re honestly too full to even stand up. Just then, Jungkook takes the seat next to you and asks if you’re indeed too full to even move because you usually like looking at the views. 

“I can’t breathe,” you frown at him. 

“Yeah, you looked like you enjoyed yourself,” he laughs.

“So did you. You ordered like, three cups of rice,” you say. “We’re still going to a cafe after this.”

“So? Coffee and dessert are separate things.”

“True,” you hum. “How’s the motorcycle by the way?”

“It’s good. It’s a similar model to what I have in Busan.”

He rides occasionally. He doesn’t have an extra parking slot in his apartment so he left the one he has at his parents’ house, which he drives around whenever he’s home. 

“So it’s safe and stuff?” You ask.

“Of course it is. Jimin even rode with me on the way back here.”

“Did he enjoy it?”

“Always. I’m a very safe rider,” he assures you. “Do you want to try?”

“I’m kinda scared. I’m not good with balancing and like, being steady,” you explain.

“But that’s my job. You literally just have to sit there and hold onto me and enjoy the wind and the scenery. Sounds good, right?” He tries to convince you.

It’s very tempting, you’d admit, especially since you’ve committed to just letting yourself feel everything and enjoying a ride with him is one other way to do that.

“I’ll think about it,” you shrug.

He tells you more about riding until Hayoung says you’ll leave in 10 minutes. So you attempt to stand up to at least get a better view of the ocean on this side. Jungkook is there, pulling you by the hand while laughing at you. Your fingers linger, and you quickly let go of him before he notices a hint of desire for his touch.

He goes with you outside and while earlier, both of you couldn’t stop talking, now, it’s just quiet. You suppose he’s basking in the sights and how peaceful everything is as well, and you just feel that calmness being next to him. 

And it’s… new. Not the feeling, but the fact that you could feel giddy and content right after. So you savor it a little more.

You all eventually leave and head to your next destination. It’s a nice ride to the cafe, too, and you sit on the backseat with your window rolled down, looking at the ocean.

Jungkook pulls up next to you in his ride and this is a look that gets your heart racing, too. He’s got his black helmet on and with his exposed tattooed arm, he looks pretty cool. 

Your chin settles on your arm that’s by the window and you watch him. He turns to you at the stoplight and pushes his shades up.

“Be careful,” you say from inside the car. 

He gives a thumbs up then extends his arm for a fist bump, which you give. It also makes you laugh. The light turns green and you’re off again. Mo-eum and Jimin laugh at you from the front but you wave them off and no longer threaten them with physical injury. 

You’re accepting it, you think. It’s like getting used to this feeling, letting it embrace you, the way you’re allowing yourself to embrace all of it. 

You head to a quaint cafe near the mountains. It has a homey vibe, not just because it literally is an extension of the owner’s house, but also because of the warm interiors, the shelves of old books and manuscripts, unfinished paintings… and two cats, which Jimin plays with and almost cuddles. 

You take up the entire space and it gives some of you a chance to speak to the owner, a former author whose wife is an artist. You mostly listen though, especially once he talks about how life in the country and this town was several decades ago. You opt for a cup of tea to help warm your still very full belly, but you do get a taste of Jungkook’s misugaru and pretty much almost everyone’s else’s drinks because that’s how you are.

Sitting next to Hayoung, you have a good view of Jungkook from the side, and you take notice of how he smiles at certain parts of the man’s tales and when he turns serious and contemplative when the man talks about his wife. 

The stories prompt you to ask your cousin how she’s feeling as she counts the days to the wedding. She sighs as if she’s still in disbelief that it’s so close. Or perhaps that she found a man like Seokjin who truly makes her feel like it’s possible to feel content and happy in this life.

“I’m marrying a man who makes me laugh, ___. A man who laughs at my jokes even if they’re not funny,” she smiles. “And I know it may sound so simple but I don’t really know what else could be better than this feeling, you know? He makes me feel good about myself. He enjoys things with me. He shows me how to be a good and happy person. And I get to spend the rest of my life with him.”

You think of your definition of simple and it used to make sense to you. You meet someone, instantly become attracted to them, find things about them you like that mirror what they like about you, be overwhelmed by the unrelenting yet unexplainable feeling towards them, then decide you want to be with them. 

Looking back, nothing about it was simple. Perhaps it was just all shallow. The intensity was surface level and never really got the chance to dig its roots.

With Hayoung, simplicity is in the consistency, you think. It’s in the everyday and every second together.

You spot Seokjin looking to where you are and upon realizing that she was admiring him from afar, he gives her a flying kiss, causing you to snort.

“He’s so ridiculous, it drives me crazy,” she laughs.

“You’re perfect for each other,” you smile as you hug her tightly. 

“It took a while for us to realize that but I guess that was the whole point,” she hums. “We’re as committed and as happy because it wasn’t too early nor too late.”

“So it’s really the timing huh?” You ask, recalling the conversations about relationships during that camping trip. 

“It is but it’s also a choice. You both decide you want to be the right person for each other,” she says. “Regardless of who confessed first, the other person could’ve chickened out but neither of us did. We knew enough about each other that we were willing to make that move.”

“Oh, to be mature like you,” you sigh. “I can’t relate.”

“You’re honest about your feelings, ___. Not everyone is that brave nor that true to themselves. That’s maturity in my book.”

You drive out and head to the port next. The rented yacht you enter is pure luxury, and this is one of the moments where you thank the universe that you ended up being friends with a rich pair of brothers, one of whom also happens to be your future cousin-in-law. 

The size is perfect for all 12 of you - not huge but cozy enough to not feel too separated from each other. There are so many areas to hang out in - the front, the back, the top, and inside. You’d forgotten what they were called and was just in perpetual shocked mode when you were being toured around. There’s lots to do, too, and you have all the time to entertain yourselves, as you’ve got this boat until past sunset. 

You all gather at the lounge area while waiting to get to the snorkeling spot. You play music, drink some mocktails, and dance around. Half an hour later, you’re told that you’ve arrived, so you all move to the other end of the yacht and jump in the water. 

It’s the right temperature for this afternoon. It’s cold but not freezing, and the feel of the ocean is every bit refreshing as you remember. 

Yoongi and Hoseok sit on the swim platform. You stay near the boat with Suhyeon and Gyu-rim - the most cautious of the bunch, while the rest dive and explore farther out. You watch them enjoy themselves, especially Jungkook, whose laughter you can pick out even from where you are.

He removes his mask and waves at you before disappearing under the water again, only for him to end up next to you.

You shriek in surprise when he does, and you smack his chest to call him out because you thought he was a shark or something.

“Seriously?” He laughs. 

“You never know,” you shrug.

“Well I’ve gone deeper and there’s none of that. Only more fish and prettier corals. Wanna see?”

You hesitate. You’re only a little bit terrified of the water; having siblings who watched Jaws all the time did that. While you know it’s safe, there’s something about the open water that’s insanely overwhelming for you because there’s so much you don’t know and much more you’ll never know. There’s a whole world down there that’s too terrifying for your human mind to comprehend and it makes you feel so small and insignificant. It’s like that cosmic horror shit that Jungkook was telling you about this one time. 

But you also know that the little bit of what humans do know is pretty amazing. And just like how you are with your horror films, you suppose the fear is part of the experience, too.

“Fine, I do wanna see,” you finally reply. “I’m just a little scared.”

“Alright then. We won’t swim too deep. I’ve got you,” he says, gesturing for you to get under.

You follow him and reflexively take his hand, allowing him to guide you towards the reef that you see isn’t far away. You know your basics in swimming so it’s not hard, but just the idea that there’s all this around and all over you is what gets to you. 

But with Jungkook right in front, holding you tightly, and constantly looking back to check how you’re doing, you suppose it’s not bad at all. And when you finally see what he wanted to show you, you understand that that initial fear, the immediate relief from the safety he provides, and then the beauty of what’s waiting for you is all part of the experience. 

When you’ve taken it all in, you begin swimming back to the surface and don’t let go of his hand. The light from the sun penetrates the ocean and it makes the scene before you even more captivating. You emerge from the water and breathe, then smile at him for keeping his word. 

“How was that?” He asks.

“Pretty,” you say. “Thank you, Kook.”

“Glad that didn’t disappoint,” he says. 

You waddle back to the yacht and you’re more independent this time. You meet with the rest of your friends and just float about, enjoying the sun and the feel of the water on you. 

One by one, you all head back up. Some stay by the steps, the others have begun fishing, and a few have started washing up. You announce that you’ll go back to the lounge area to get your phone and Jungkook follows because he wants to dry his shirt.

He removes it and grabs a towel that he wipes himself with. You glance at him as he dries his hair with it then wraps it around his waist, disturbing you with what you’re supposed to do. 

Of course, of all times that he has to be half naked again - and during the day - is when you’re both alone and you have nothing to distract you nor keep you from ogling him. 

Because now that you care, you actually pay more attention and realize that his type of ripped is exactly your type. 

You’ve generalized your guy friends and said they’re all handsome. You’ve said it mostly to Hoseok before he got a girlfriend and to Seokjin because, well, he makes everyone say so. You always told Taehyung that you found him cute, but perhaps the most honest you were was when Namjoon showed up in a green sweatshirt and glasses one time and you whispered “daddy,” not realizing the words didn’t  actually remain in your head. The teasing started right after that. 

You’ve often passed off Jungkook as having these charming, boy-next-door traits which wasn’t really your vibe. You were always too intense for that and the men you pursued tended to match your energy and so Jungkook, even physically, felt a bit tamed or reserved to you. 

But now, you can see that you were really just a silly girl. His abs aren’t too pronounced when he doesn’t flex them but even you can tell there are eight of them there. They also hold up a pair of perfectly toned pecs. His entire torso is smooth, including his back that’s divided by that deep line that lets you know just how hard he works on it. 

And his arms. They don’t seem much but he’s flexed them a few times since last night and you have to pretend you need water every time to mask that you’re actually really just thirsty for them. Maybe it’s the fact that one is covered in tattoos and the other isn’t. The contrast gives you a whiplash, even more when you realize that connected to the feet that you make fun of because of his toe socks are massive thighs that could—

“___?”

“Hmm?”

“Is there anything else you need?”

“My phone,” you stammer.

“You’re holding it,” Jungkook says, gesturing towards your hand that is indeed holding it. 

“Right, I got it,” you reply, turning around because suddenly, it’s hard to breathe. 

You were definitely ogling him last night but now, he’s half-naked with the sun out so you’re noticing everything, including his tiny waist and—

“I’m gonna go and watch them fi— ow, fuck!”

But of course, you hit your head on the side of the roof that has a sign that says “watch out” next to it. Not that you were paying attention anyway because you were, in fact, trying to get away from the man who’s been invading your thoughts in ways that are so unexpected for you.

You slowly fall on your butt and wince in pain. And who else would go to your rescue but him?

“___, it literally says there to watch out,” he chuckles as he crouches to face you. “You’re not even that tall.”

“Yah!” You smack his chest in reflex, only to feel the tingle from touching his bare skin. “It hurts.”

“Oh shit,” he says now, his face turning serious. “Is there a bump?”

You feel around the top of your head and discover something that definitely wasn’t there earlier. His hand hovers so you guide him to where you feel it.

“Yup, that’s a bump,” he sighs. “You’ve got to be careful.”

You only pout and whimper when he puts pressure on it. 

He grabs a can of soda from the cooler and places it on your head. He instructs you to keep it there while he looks for a cold compress, which he does, a few minutes later after going to the cockpit and asking for it.

He sits next to you on the ledge while he holds it in place because you say your arm is getting sore. But he turns towards you now, so you also pay even more attention to his face. 

His dark doe-eyes are filled with worry, and you realize they’re captivating like this just as much as when they’re painted with joy or admiration. His nose is even cuter this close, and you don’t know how to convince him that you’re sincere about your attachment to it, even more now. His eyelashes are so long and they flutter against his honeyed skin. And then his lips, they’re so pink and chapped that you just want to—

“___?” He calls your name again. 

“Hmm?” 

“Seriously, did being underwater and then hitting your head make you dizzy? Do you have a concussion that’s why you’re unresponsive?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not a concussion,” you say. “I’m just—”

You fake yawn to make an excuse. Only for you to actually feel sleepy right after. 

“I think I need a nap.”

“Okay,” he laughs. “Get dressed then you can lie on the sofa.”

You rid yourself of your wet clothes in the bathroom. From there, you hear Jungkook inform your friends that you hit your head and Jimin yells that you can’t lose your memory because you still owe him dinner. 

You get back on the lounge to cuss him out then say you’re okay but that you have a bump and now you’re sleepy.

“I hit my head there earlier,” Taehyung says.

“Why didn’t you warn people about it!” You exclaim.

He shrugs but Jimin pipes in. 

“He probably didn’t think that anyone would be dumber than him.”

“Yah!” You yell, threatening to flick his forehead. 

He runs away and heads back to the other side. Most of them follow, as Seokjin and Yoongi compete with each other on who can catch more fish. Suhyeon and Hoseok stay near the railing, leaving you and Jungkook semi-alone in the lounge. He at least has a shirt on this time.

You’re both sitting on the couch and you give in, grabbing a small pillow and placing it on his lap for you to rest your head on. It’s too late by the time you realize that there’s so much space elsewhere but you chose this. You chose to be this close, so you just let it go. You’d made yourself look stupid earlier already, might as well own this. 

But you do peek at him and see that he’s got his head leaned back, perhaps taking a nap, too. He feels you move and he turns to you, seemingly unbothered at your obvious lack of respect for his personal space.

“You okay?” He asks, placing the cold compress on your bump once more.

“Hmm,” you nod. 

“Go sleep.”

You turn to your side and savor the sight before you as you slowly drift away, the blue sky with threads of the clouds strung around making you feel at peace. Jungkook pulls your hair back so you’re more comfortable, reminding you of last night and how his fingers brushed your face. 

You smile to yourself. You’re definitely owning this feeling.

You wake up to light taps on your shoulder. Jungkook tells you that you’ll miss the sunset if you keep sleeping, so you sit up and look around. Your friends have returned to this side of the boat, with some of them sitting on the other couch while the others are by the railings, enjoying the last bits of light. You see a bowl of tteokbokki on the table in front of you, and your eyes widen, as you realize right then that you’re quite hungry. 

“Can you–”

“Want me to heat it?” Jungkook finishes his question first.

“Yes please,” you shyly smile, remembering that he knows you don’t like eating your food cold.

“Sure,” he says, then grabs the plate and heads inside.

“Did you sleep well?” Jimin appears out of nowhere. 

“Yeah,” you hum. “I feel better now.”

“Good,” he smiles. 

He walks to the lounge area with Mo-eum and they sit next to you.

“You missed out on the fun parts! Tae caught some fish,” Mo-eum excitedly says. “I told him it was probably genetic.”

You laugh. “Did any of you catch anything?” 

“Nope. But Gyu-rim did. You should’ve seen Yoongi’s face, he was so proud and he was blushing,” Jimin gushes. “Kook probably would’ve caught some if someone wasn’t sleeping on his lap,” he smirks at you. “He missed out on the fun thanks to you.”

“I–” you frown. “He told me to take a nap.”

“On his lap?” Mo-eum asks.

“No but like, it was there,” you sigh. “Okay, can I just say? I completely lost it earlier. I was staring. Like, I was literally ogling him. This isn’t normal.”

“___, chill. We’re all used to you already. You literally always hug Tae’s arms and say how they’re so big. And you always call him handsome. You also called me hot before,” Jimin reminds you.

“I totally would’ve dated you for your body alone,” you remark. “But I’m not the type to do that.”

“You dated Seungho because he was hot though,” Mo-eum points out.

“Shush, that was only 92% of the reason,” you correct her. 

“Back to my point,” Jimin nudges you to look at him. “You called Joon daddy one time, remember? You ogle, ___. We know that.”

“Wow, you make me sound like a perv,” you scowl.

“None of us literally care.”

“Fine. But I was all of a sudden speechless with Kook. Like, I always knew he had a nice body but I just never really bothered to look look. And now I have and he’s so hot and I’m–”

“Sorry it took a while, the microwave was being weird,” Jungkook returns to the lounge. “Got you soda, too.”

He places your meal in front of you then heads farther out the deck with the other guys.

“Shit, do you think he heard me?” You panic.  

“Doubt it. But if he did, so what? Not like you don’t compliment him about his looks,” Jimin shrugs.

“I tell him his nose is cute,” you deadpan. “That’s totally different from saying he’s hot.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jimin shakes his head. “You just have to get used to it. This is an island trip, ___. He’s gonna be half-naked for two more days.”

“I need saving,” you sigh, prompting your two friends to laugh at your dramatic antics. 

You eat your snack while they talk about what happened earlier. It’s a good distraction from your thoughts of Jungkook, even if they’re technically still there because it’s his back that you’re currently looking at. You laugh at yourself this time because you’re being silly. 

Sure, it’s a bit unfamiliar to suddenly be physically attracted to him, but even more because you’re unable to express it, which is unlike how you normally are with your friends. You’re usually very open and playful about it with them but with Jungkook, you’re quite cautious. You’re worried you’ll say too much or that he’ll even feel the heat from your entire body as your natural reaction. 

This is perhaps another indication of how you really feel. You’re more shy than usual, but as you look at him from where you’re seated, all you want is to bask in that shyness, too. It at least tells you that it’s not all shallow and superficial when it comes to him.

You stand from your seat and clean up. When you go back out, you see that all your friends are now on the deck, lounging on the chairs and the netted structure as the sun starts to set. Seokjin and Hayoung are being all couple-y. Yoongi and Gyu-rim are in their own world in the corner. Namjoon’s dancing to some song with his earpods on, and Jungkook and Jimin are going Titanic mode and laughing at each other.

You laugh, too, and it’s another feeling that’s new or perhaps, just more pronounced. You like seeing Jungkook be silly and enjoying himself. You like seeing him feel free. It’s something he experiences and all you can do is watch, and that makes you feel good.

Jungkook loses his breath from role playing and play-fighting with Jimin. It’s something they’ve always done as kids and they never really outgrew it. But his best friend surrenders after a while and Jungkook decides to have mercy on him. 

Instinctively, he turns towards the lounge to look for you, and he finds you there, sitting on one of the chairs, smiling at him. He’d spent pretty much the entire afternoon with you - swimming, snorkeling, icing your head, and serving as your pillow yet again for your afternoon nap. 

And he has nothing to complain about, especially because you held his hand while you were in the water, and you looked him in the eyes more times than he could count, and you snuggled close to him after he told you to sleep.

He gestures for you to come over and you do. You take your spot on the floor and he takes his next to you. You scoot closer and rest your head on his shoulder, just like always and he likes this. He likes how you seek him, knowingly or not, and that you find comfort in whatever he could give. 

He’s unsure of what it means on your end but he doesn’t want to assume nor impose; he decides he’ll hope only a little. He’ll savor whatever this is as part of the experience. He’s hoping it’s something you’re doing, too.

Everyone is quiet during the sunset, as you all bask in the changing of the sky’s colors and how majestic it looks from where you are. You eat dinner on the boat and find that a hearty meal of pasta, pizza, and steak in the middle of the ocean is the perfect cap to what you think is a perfect day, even with the head bumping and the spacing out. 

Hayoung and Seokjin say a few things, as it’s their pre-wedding trip, and you’re tearing up by the end of it. Taehyung gives a speech, too, and you all burst into laughter. It’s practice for the real deal during the wedding, he says, but you already know he’ll be crying then. 

You head back to the house after and make sure to remind Jungkook to be careful during his ride. You notice that he tries to stay next to your car and gives you a smile when he sees you look at him, as if in assurance that he’s okay. 

You spend the rest of the evening drinking indoors while playing games and singing karaoke. It’s later on in the night when you feel the pull of the cool breeze. 

Some of your friends have tucked themselves in bed already. Jimin and Mo-eum are dancing and singing like they’re at a club. Namjoon’s passed out, and Taehyung and Hoseok look like they’re having a heart-to-heart near the hammock. Jungkook’s gone to take a shower so you head out to the pool, dip half of your legs in the water, then lie on the ground to look at the night sky.

The full moon is stunning and your only regret is that you’re a little tipsy so your glazed eyes can’t fully savor its beauty, but you try. Cozy in your hoodie and with your hands behind your head, you take a deep breath and take everything in. You don’t always get to have this time to be away and just live in the moment, but you know you’re lucky enough that you even have the opportunity to.

“___?”

You turn to the side and see Jungkook, drowning in his oversized hoodie, approaching you. You gesture to your side and he takes the spot next to you. He lies down and rests his head on his hands, too. 

“Haven’t you taken a bath?” You ask.

“Yeah, and I can do it again,” he shrugs. 

He takes in your sluggish state and asks if it was too loud for you inside.

“A little,” you say. “But I also needed time alone.”

At your words, Jungkook apologizes and tries to stand up, but you pull his arm and shake your head.

“And I already had it,” you say. “I don’t need you to leave.”

“Sorry, I should’ve asked.”

“You don’t need to though. You - anyone, really - are always welcome. More like, needed,” you smile. “I enjoy having you around, Kook. I don’t know if I’ve ever said that before.”

“You have, a few times. Mostly when you were drunk though. Like now,” he teases. 

“I always mean it though, especially now,” you tell him, more seriously than he is.

“Well, I’ll always be,” he assures you. “You know I’m always there for you, right?”

“You are and you have been - driving me around, changing my lightbulb, shopping with me, cooking for me…” you say, somehow feeling this heaviness at the thought that maybe you haven’t done much for him the way he’s been doing things for you.

“I like doing them, the way I think you like helping me with my workplans or talking me through tough days at work or watching my students’ games to cheer for them and me,” he responds, somehow knowing that you needed to hear that, too. “And you know, making me laugh. A lot. You’re clumsy and a mess sometimes and it makes my day.”

“Why does it make your day?” You turn to him.

“Because you don’t care, and I mean that in an endearing way,” he clarifies. “You… just let yourself be who you are in front of us. That’s refreshing, you know? I think we all have our quirks and habits but we’ve spent so much time together as a group that it just feels like we’ve adjusted to each other.”

“That’s the great thing about friends, right? About people you’ve known for years? You don’t have anything to hide from them. Over time, they just learn all these things about you and just… live with it,” you say. “It just becomes a part of who they are, too, like how my being clumsy and clueless and spoiled and dramatic has just become an aspect of all of you being caring and dependable and understanding. It’s as if our qualities and parts of our personalities kind of just intertwine in that way.”

“That’s true. It’s like how romantic relationships end up being. Or should become. At least that’s what Seokjin and Hoseok tell me.”

You’re quiet for a while as you realize that yours never got to that point. It makes sense though, as they only lasted two years max but you never felt your personality intertwine with your exes in any way.

“Hmm, can’t relate,” you sigh. “Jimin and Mo-eum made me realize that there were parts of me that I didn’t really wanna show Jeong-su and Seungho.”

“Do you know why?”

“Could be dozens of reasons. Maybe it was them. Maybe it was me.”

“Maybe you just didn’t know them long enough,” Jungkook says, hoping that nothing he says is triggering for you. “I mean, it’s how it is with people and relationships. You learn about yourself the more you spend time with them and the more you do, the more of yourself you’re able to show or adjust or fit theirs.”

You hum in response, as you process what he says.

“I was kind of a selfish kid and only thought of myself and Jimin’s kindness taught me to be more thoughtful,” Jungkook continues. “I was still pretty shy when I got to college but I let out my playful side with Tae that I didn’t really know was there. And Mo-eum was so smart that I tried to keep up with her and I realized I was pretty smart, too.”

You laugh at this, as you think about how different your friends are with him and with you.

“Jimin and I always butt heads and he calls me out because he knows no one will and I need someone to,” you state. “Tae is very soft with me because he knows I’m hard on myself all the time. And Mo-eum… ever since we were kids, she just always asked me about life in general, like what career she should pursue or how she should manage all that trauma from work and still have enough of herself to give.”

“Such contrast,” Jungkook laughs. “I think it’s because you and I are so different, too, but that’s the point, right? They’re not different people. They just have sides to them that fit with others more but that’s still them. And I know comparing platonic and romantic relationships is a bit simplistic but it’s kinda the same. You spend enough time with someone and get to know them, and I mean genuinely get to know them, and you’ll figure out which ones fit.”

“It happens naturally, yeah?”

“It should. But it requires baring yourself to the other person.”

“And that requires vulnerability, too, doesn’t it?” You ask, turning to him now. 

“It does. It requires honesty, too.”

You look into Jungkook’s eyes and see the moon reflecting from them with how round and dark and captivating they are. You’d think that given your topic of conversation, this is the perfect time to just confess about how differently you’re feeling about him. 

But there’s still something that pulls you back, and you suppose it’s this need to be sure - not of whatever he feels for you but of what you feel for him, and what you feel about you. 

You don’t want to dive into this when you’re unsure of yourself. You don’t want to doubt if you’re able to truly be vulnerable to him. You don’t want to get into anything with him when you don’t know if you like this version of you now, because you know that what he deserves is someone who likes herself enough to treat him the way he should be treated. His exes have been insecure people who took him for granted, and you don’t want a reminder of them in you.

“And that requires trust,” you add.

“It does,” he smiles, knowing that both of you are just pulling from all your experiences of failed relationships and uncertainty.

He hopes that maybe just like him, you’re trying to get to that point where you trust him and yourself enough before seeing if what you both have could be something more.

Both of you spend a few more minutes just staring at the sky before deciding to head back inside. You help your remaining friends clean up, wash themselves, and then lie in bed. 

You take your place next to Mo-eum, on the side that gives you a view of Jungkook as he sleeps on the floor. You ask him if he’s comfortable and warm enough for this chilly night and he responds with a nod.

You like this side of you that seeks him, not just because you need to be taken care of, but also because you want to take care of him, too. You think that for now, that should be enough. 

Jungkook flinches in his sleep, catching himself by surprise this time and prompting him to wake up. He slowly opens his eyes, already used to the light coming in with how thin the curtains are but he doesn’t mind much, not when the first thing he sees in the morning is you - cuddled with the pillow, looking peaceful as your brain rests for a while. 

It was a little thing he did, moving the mattress just a tiny bit during the first night, because he saw that the curtain slit would be right across his face and the sun would be unbearable. It ended up giving him a much better morning view. 

He grunts as he sits up and starts cracking his back and stretching his limbs. He sees that Taehyung and Jimin are half awake and he nods at them. Mo-eum is already up as the early-riser of the group and of course there’s you, still steadily breathing and softly snoring. 

It’s a slow morning and there’s no rush to do anything. Jungkook likes this about your recent trips, which is also why you’re all able to stay up late to drink and talk and do whatever people your age are still able to do until the wee hours of the morning. Perhaps his body has adjusted as well; regardless of what time he sleeps, he doesn’t need the entire next day to recuperate. 

Mo-eum gets back to the room and sits next to him.

“How was last night?” She asks with a playful smile.

“I had to carry your drunk ass to the bed, and then Jimin’s,” Jungkook shakes his head.

Maybe not a lot has changed. 

“___ helped you though.”

“Yeah well, we were the only ones still in our right minds,” he laughs. 

“I was still lucid when I saw you walk out to look for her,” she smirks. 

“Hey, I was just making sure that she was still on the property,” he defends. “Who knows if she followed some rabbit out there and fell into a hole or something.”

“You’re getting ridiculous with your reasons,” Mo-eum rolls her eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with her, you know?”

“I’m not denying that.”

“Good. Because I think she’s been liking that. She’s always got a lot in her mind and you help ease her a bit. Like, Jimin matches her energy, Tae comforts her, I hype her up and you…” she smiles. “You seem to do that and more. Like, you become what she needs at that time.”

“I’ve always tried to be there for her and it’s the same with her,” Jungkook shrugs, not wanting to reveal too much to your best friend. “I guess at this point it’s just become easier. And nicer. I’m happy I get to be what she needs.”

“Hmm. I’m sure she is, too.”

Mo-eum’s smile is comforting. Whatever you’ve told her or haven’t, her words are enough to assure him that he’s doing right by you. He’ll just continue and savor the moments you have together, like last night by the pool where you looked him in the eyes again and he’d been tempted to just lay his feelings out to you. 

But he hesitated, wanting to make sure that you’re ready for what he has to say. He’s certain about what he feels now but he doesn’t want to just spring it on you in the middle of celebrations and farewells. He’s just been basking in seeing you slowly settle into him, and perhaps that’s part of the whole experience, as you like to say. 

Mo-eum ruffles his hair before going back to bed, hugging you like a baby and asking if you’re hungry because she already is. Jungkook watches as you slowly get to your senses, look around, slightly sit up, then sleepily wave at him. It’s a bit random but he waves back and laughs. 

It’s not long after when the rest of you finally get up and start fixing up. You stand in front of the sink outside the bathroom to brush your teeth and just like the day before, he stands behind you as he sees you stretch your neck.

“Does it hurt again?” He asks.

“No, but a massage would be nice,” you mumble with bubbles in your mouth. 

He playfully shakes his head but proceeds to press his thumbs against the nape of your neck. 

“Such a princess,” he laughs.

You close your eyes at the pleasure, feeling like you could fall back to sleep with this. He eventually stops, which is perhaps good because you would’ve choked with how much you were quietly moaning, but then he lightly drags his fingers down your back. His touch pierces through your shirt and your body shivers. You don’t see his face in the mirror, but you quickly rinse your mouth to mask your smile over how it felt.

“I’ll wash up,” he says as he heads inside the bathroom.

You yell out your thanks and exhale deeply, but then Mo-eum skips next to you and wiggles her eyebrows.

“So domestic,” she teases. 

“Shush,” you pout at her. “Dude’s a master at teasing, who would’ve thought.”

You get dressed, too, and it’s not long after when you’re all on your way to a restaurant for your lunch of the famed spicy braised chicken. You take the passenger seat of the car that Jimin’s driving and watch Jungkook ride his motorcycle again, who fortunately put on some sunblock after you reminded him before leaving. 

With Mo-eum at the back, you all laugh as Jungkook and Taehyung dance to some music at the stoplight, busting out moves that make them look ridiculous and adorable at the same time. 

You arrive at the restaurant and there’s a long table reserved for your group. You see your friends make eye signals to each other to get you and Jungkook to sit side by side, and you wanna smack them but also thank them for doing the work for you. Even if you have been making an effort to get close to him, you don’t want to be too obvious.

Which is also why you spend those moments right after you take your seat talking to Hoseok, who makes you laugh so hard that you almost fall off your chair. 

But of course, Jungkook is there to make sure that doesn’t happen, as he manages to hold onto your arm before your ass hits the floor.

“Yah, are you Jimin?!” He scolds you.

“Excuse me, I’m offended,” you gasp dramatically.

“Brat. You wish you were me,” Jimin bites back.

“I wish I had your ass,” you hum.

It’s pretty amazing. You’d give him that.

“But your ass is already nice!” Mo-eum chirps. “It’s very spankable.”

Your older friends laugh, already used to the unfiltered conversations of the young ones, and none of you really care about it. You glare at your best friend, though, because Jungkook definitely did not laugh.

The conversation shifts to something else and the food finally arrives. The mild spiced dish is closer to Taehyung, so you ask Jungkook to give you a serving in your bowl. He hands it back to you filled to the brim, and he reminds you to let it cool first so the heat level isn’t too extreme for you.

You look at the dish in front of you. It looks so delicious you might actually cry. Except for the vegetables.

“I don’t like carrots,” you pout, transferring the two large chunks from your bowl to his.

“You need to eat carrots, ___,” he says sternly. “They’re good for your eyesight. It helps you see warning signs that tell you to watch out for things that might hurt you.”

You stare at the piece that he puts on your bowl.

“Yeah, a small chunk will definitely help my eyes,” you sarcastically say.

“Then a big one, then,” he counters, putting back the one you just gave him. And then another. “And one more for both eyes.”

You’re back to where you started and you scowl at him.

“You’re so annoying.”

He responds with a smirk. A smirk! One that looks teasing more than anything.

“You could always just feed her,” Jimin suggests.

You glare at him. 

“What?!” He mouths, and it hits you that this might be more obvious because this type of teasing is normal, but you’re being so sensitive about it.

“I’m not a baby,” you frown.

And just as you’re about to take a spoonful, your hair flies to your mouth, causing the sauce to stick to the strands and then on your face. 

You groan in frustration, prompting laughter from your friends, but you reflexively turn to Jungkook with a pout.

“Say that again?” he chuckles, as he wets the napkin and wipes the sauce off your hair.

You wipe your face, too, while he pulls your hair back so you could tie it. He looks at you with a mix of teasing and endearment, yet something about it makes your heart race. 

All you can do is laugh at how ridiculous you look and he laughs along because he probably thinks so, too. He watches you take your first bite to make sure it lands then he resumes with his own dish and reminds you to eat your carrots. 

You actually do cry, as even the mild spicy version of the chicken is still a little too hot for you, but you can’t stop eating. The fried rice and ramyeon are so intense yet heavenly, and nothing’s ever hurt so good and satisfied you like this. 

Jungkook ends up wiping out the rest of the food. The only reason why you stayed in the restaurant as long as you did was so he could finish eating, and you have to remind him of what you’ll be doing after, prompting him to pass up on the dessert he was about to order. You take some time to walk around the area so you can digest though, and it’s not long after when you’re back on the road.

Jimin had suggested going to Active Park so you could all compete against each other on wall climbing, with the losers doing penalties tonight. As you agreed on, everyone joins, even the ones who aren’t really into things like this. That doesn’t include Jungkook though, as he excitedly skips to the receiving area like he didn’t just stuff himself with food an hour ago. 

But he loves these things and this is his playground. He likes being active and on the move - a contrast to you - and experiencing the thrill. He also happens to be really good at it. 

You all get briefed and get proper shoes on. He scurries inside and already chooses his first activity where he walks up high poles then free falls to the ground. Then he climbs three walls consecutively and goes mission impossible mode when he rapells down. The others start playing and you let them go first, as you secretly enjoy watching them freak out and squeal while falling. 

You eventually decide to psych yourself up by climbing up the poles so you call for one of the staff to repeat the instructions. Just then, Jungkook appears next to you - you swear you saw him competing with Taehyung just a second ago - and asks if you’re ready.

“Yes, and I’m not scared of heights,” you remind him. “I’m just clumsy.”

“Please make sure you land properly. And don’t mistakenly unhook your cord.”

“I won’t,” you roll your eyes at him. 

But you do call for him to look at you when you’re at the top and then ask for his praise when you get back on your feet safely.

He laughs at how excited you are and encourages you to try more. You tell him to just enjoy and do everything he wants and that you’ll be fine so he goes, competes with almost everyone, and wins it all. You follow your own pace and lose a few match-ups, but it’s loud and intense the whole time that you’re torn between trying things out for yourself and watching your friends do it.

Half of you get tired right away and choose to sit around to watch the more energetic ones as they keep going. You all cheer for Taehyung on the circular slide. You all encourage Suhyeon in the spiderman climb. And when Jimin hits his lip on the sandbag during the jump, you gather around him to ask if he’s okay.

“It’s just a cut,” he shrugs.

“Nope, you gotta ice it,” you say. “Mo-eum’s already getting one.”

“Listen to ___. She’s good at treating busted lips,” Jungkook hums.

“Of course you’d know,” Jimin smirks at him.

“We are not talking about that night,” you frown as you press the cloth-covered ice cube on your best friend’s wound.    

“Why are you the one triggered when it’s Jungkook’s who got elbowed?” Yoongi asks you. 

“Because she got so angry and even attempted to run after the guy who hurt Kook,” Mo-eum informs them. “You know ___ when she’s angry. It ain’t good.”

They rehash that night and you kind of block it out, not wanting to remember what those intense feelings were like. But then again, maybe that’s when this whole Jungkook thing started so maybe it isn’t all that bad. 

Jungkook finally decides that he’s done and sits next to you on one of the chairs. You hand him a bottle of water and ask him if he's satisfied.

“Yup,” he heaves. “Hands are just a bit tired but they’re fine. And oh, my busted lip has healed.”

You snicker and look away.

“I don’t know if I ever properly thanked you for that night, ___,” he says. “So, uh, thank you. I don’t think I’ll ever forget all the times that you stood up for me.”

“Technically, it was just one time. It would’ve been more if people weren’t stopping me,” you laugh. 

“Well, there’s a reason for that, you know?” He nudges your knee. “You can actually get in trouble or get hurt. I… I don't really know how I’d be able to handle that. So don’t get yourself hurt, okay?”

“Is that why you were tailing me this whole time? You were scared I’d hurt myself?” You cock an eyebrow.

“___, you hurt yourself in your own house. Because of your couch. This place is filled with hazards.”

“Oh shush,” you laugh now. “Well, nothing happened to me. I think I’m improving.”

“No injuries today so you might just be,” he winks.

“You’d still look out for me, though?” you turn to him.

“Always,” he smiles. 

You head outdoors after a bit of rest to go-kart. Just when you thought that most of you have drained all your energy from wall climbing, it turns out that driving can actually restore it, as all of you quickly choose your karts and start riding around the track. With the breeze pushing you and the fluffy clouds against the blue sky as your background, it’s actually very relaxing.

You go only a few laps. Hoseok, Seokjin, Jimin, and Taehyung race five rounds because someone is always complaining or cheating. Jungkook skids like he’s on Fast and the Furious, and Suhyeon and Hayoung are just happily going about in their lanes.

There’s that feeling of calmness when you all take your seats on the benches in the adjacent playground with your iced drinks in hand. You laugh at Namjoon constantly being stuck in the track because he was confused over which foot had to press what, and then Yoongi bumping him because he couldn’t stop earlier. You’re laughing about last night, too, and just everything that’s been happening on this trip.

As always, Jimin and Taehyung play with the horse rockers, then Jungkook joins them when they spin in the merry-go-round. Mo-eum goes with you when you scurry to the big slide. You run up the steps, squealing as you do, and then trip on one of them.

Mo-eum goes to your rescue and tries to hold in her laugh. But the thump and her constant chuckling gets your friends’ attention and as you look up, you see Jungkook incredulously looking at you.

“So… about me not having injuries today, I think you jinxed it,” you smile sweetly at him. 

In Jungkook fashion, he laughs, helps you up, then puts a band-aid over the scraped skin on your shin. 

He might not always be next to you, but he’ll be there whenever you need him. You think that perfectly describes these last few months of getting closer to him. You hope it’ll be like that from here on out.

Watching the sky turn dark from the property’s outdoor area is quite magical, as you’re learning now. You’d just woken up from a long nap after arriving home and you’re now on the hammock, with your hands behind your head, taking in how stunning the view is. You’re next to Mo-eum who’s doing the same, and the others have taken their spots in different areas, too.

Not long after, you put on a dress and head to a restaurant for an omakase dinner. It’s another one of those spoils from Seokjin and Hayoung and you pretty much thank them after praising the chef with every dish. 

The ingredients are so fresh and they’ve been prepared so delicately. Taehyung dramatically walks around in awe and Jungkook jumps on his seat all night with how much he’s enjoying the food. It’s hard not to laugh when watching everyone react, and that includes you. You’re just as expressive as everyone is, including Yoongi and Gyu-rim who often just say the simplest things when describing their appreciation for food.

Hoseok buys a fancy bottle of sake to take home where you all finish it, alongside the other drinks you bought on the way back. 

It’s a beautiful evening but you suppose that everyone’s just spent from everything you’d done today, as you all just take a seat around the fire pit and talk. The penalties will have to be be done tomorrow, you all agree.

You fall asleep on Hayoung’s shoulder in the midst of the tired laughter and end up lying on her lap. Your lower body spills over to Jimin’s lap as well, and he just chuckles and says that the princess is tired.

“Want me to help you get ready for bed?” Your cousin whispers in your ear.

You’re still a bit aware of your surroundings and could hear what she says, and you tell her it’s fine and that they should all stay while you take a nap. But you don’t know how long you’re asleep for until you feel yourself being pulled up.

“Let’s go, I’ll help you wash up,” Mo-eum says to you.

You let her guide you up until you’re lying in bed in your pajamas, ready to fall into deep sleep. 

Jungkook sits on the edge of the bed right next to yours. Taehyung is on the floor mattress this time after lying on it to have a feel and then falling asleep right away, so Jungkook gets to have a different view of you this time.

He chuckles as he watches your breathing deepen and then steady. You must really be tired after all those activities and the amazing dinner and he wouldn’t be surprised as he’s exhausted, too. 

But it felt nice spending the day like this, even if he wasn’t next to you all the time. He’d been too excited with the wall climbing but he always made sure to watch you whenever you did it. He was having so much fun during go-karting but he always looked for you on the track and smiled at you whenever he passed you by after you stopped driving. 

Even during dinner, you were sandwiched between Hayoung and Namjoon so Jungkook just glanced at you to see how you found the food because he was losing his mind. And then after you all got home, he just softly watched you slowly fall asleep. You looked so cozy though, like he just wanted to hug you until he fell asleep, too, just like now, as you finally turn towards your side facing him. 

You’re hugging a pillow and Jungkook laughs to himself at how much he wished that was him. It must feel nice, he thinks, to have you that close. Maybe you’d talk until someone knocks out mid-sentence like what happened in Sapporo. Maybe you’d laugh until you get tired. Maybe you could do more, just like the home he wants to cuddle in.

He shakes his head at the thoughts in his mind. He’s thinking too much and definitely too far ahead. He has that hope that you might feel the same way. After all, he’s seen you space out while looking at him, whether up close or from afar, and he knows that means your mind has travelled to so many places. He could only hope your thoughts were about him, perhaps about settling into your feelings, whatever those are. 

But he’s quite a patient man when it comes to things he really, really wants. He’s holding out hope that somehow, you’re thinking and figuring things out yourself, and as long as you are, he’ll just admire you and enjoy what he gets to share with you as much as he can.

The morning comes longer than you expected, and that tells you that you probably had a really good sleep. You remember seeing the blaze from the fire pit and dozing off, then briefly washing up before crashing out again. 

But the light is blaring through the blinds now and you let out a yawn. You stretch your arms and look around to find yourself alone in the room, and you check your phone to see what time it is and what everyone else is up to. It’s 9 AM and it seems that there’s takeaway breakfast downstairs. 

Just then, you hear Mo-eum calling for you as she climbs up the stairs.

“Hey, you’re up!” She chirps. “You didn’t wake up even with the guys’ early alarm, huh?”

“Nope, I was passed out. But I slept so well,” you mumble. “Where’d they go?”

“To the other side of the island. Tae and Kook wanted to ride their bikes then decided to buy breakfast for everyone so they called Jimin to pick up the food,” she laughs. “Let’s go eat!”

You nod and wash up before heading downstairs with her. People have gathered at the kitchen while some are already outside, enjoying the sun and the cool morning breeze. There’s an array of breakfast wraps and sandwiches and sweet and savory pastries that it’s hard to choose. But you pick up a few and look around to try your friends’ choices, knowing they’ll let you.

You get a bite from Mo-eum and Hayoung then Jimin, then you see Jungkook going back inside to get another serving. He chooses the bacon bun and you think he sees your eyes light up, because he’s walking towards you and offering you a bite. 

“Hmm, that’s good,” you smile satisfyingly. 

“It is, right?” he smiles. “Is the wrap okay?”

“Yup. It’s very filling.”

“Nice. I thought you’d like that,” he hums. “Did you see the iced black sesame drink I got you?” He asks as he grabs a cup from the bag. “I told them to tell you it’s here. I thought you’d like it. But there’s hot coffee and uh, my barely touched iced americano if you want.”

“This sounds like my kind of drink,” you smile at him now, taking what he got you.

It’s delicious and you tell him so. You walk out towards the lounge chair by the pool where he follows and you ask him about where they went to earlier.

“There’s this stretch of the ocean where you can see some dolphins and Tae wanted to check them out,” Jungkook says. “So we took our bikes there around 7 and just drove around the town. He was chatting with the locals and they told us what other areas to check out. Then we got some breakfast and called Jimin.”

“Oh, that sounded fun! Where did they say to go?”

“The lesser known parks that also have the cherry blossoms in full bloom, this hill with wildflowers, a pier that has a nice view of the ocean,” he shares. “They said where we watched the dolphins is a good spot to watch the sunrise and we should go back but I said we leave tomorrow so probably the next trip.”

“We leave in the afternoon though,” you remind him. “That actually sounds nice.”

“Do you… want to ride and catch the sunrise in the morning?” he asks, testing the waters. “We could still take the car but the bike is just a different experience. It’ll be cold but they swore by it and said the fishermen love that area because of how pretty it is.”

“You’ll make sure I’ll be safe right?” You nervously ask, as the thought of riding a motorcycle with him is both a thrilling and terrifying thought for completely different reasons. “I mean, you know how dramatic I am with a stubbed toe. Imagine me injured, so I’m sure you’ll make sure that won’t happen.” 

“Definitely not letting that happen,” he chuckles.

“Good! Wake me up, okay! And should, uh, should we invite the others?”

It’s a courtesy question, you think, even if you’re unsure you’re ready to be alone with him to do something that you think is quite intimate - not only in riding his bike with him but also watching something beautiful together. 

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook hums. 

It won’t hurt, you convince yourself, even if you hope deep down that no one will take the offer.

[to: My Elders] Kook and I are riding his bike to this spot to watch the sunrise. Anyone want to join?

It’s barely 10 seconds in when Jimin replies. 

[from: jiminie pabo] nope. and i speak for everyone.

You know what he’s doing so you quickly turn to where he is by the hammock and try to glare at him but he only smiles and gives a not-so-subtle thumbs up sign. You could only hope he didn’t say anything to anyone about what you feel and that this potential alone time with Jungkook is something that you’d want to have.

[to: My Elders] K then. Just tell us if you change your mind.

You turn to Jungkook. “They said they don’t want to. Well, Jimin did but he probably asked them. Are you still good?”

“Of course,” he smiles. “I’ll wake you up early then and we could get back here and still have time for a nap before we head out.”

“Sounds good,” you smile, hoping that the constant smiling isn’t giving you away too much, given that you’ve been doing that to him all trip. “Can’t wait.”

You talk a bit more about the sights he saw until your food and drinks have finished. You’re heading back to the kitchen for water when Taehyung suggests swimming in the pool before going for a ride around some areas of the island, just like what the locals had said. 

Everyone agrees, except for Yoongi, and you all change into your swimsuits and take advantage of the nice weather. 

You think at this point that you’re already immune to Jungkook’s bare body. You’ve seen it so many times before this trip and even just these past days, even if you technically zoned out in admiration this time. 

As the universe would have it, you are actually not immune, especially when you head out to the pool and find him on his hands and knees, trying to balance himself on the watermelon floatie, with all his muscles working full-time to keep himself from falling into the water. 

Your stupid mind conjures up images that you definitely should not be thinking about, and you turn away in time before he catches you staring at him again.

Mo-eum walks over to you and you both walk towards the pool to have a dip. But of course, Jimin and Taehyung cannonball into the water and start playing like the children that they are. They play with the water guns, too, and with Jungkook and their recruit, Hoseok, they run around the house and try to shoot each other as if they aren’t already wet.

The rest of you adults just chill around, content enough with the cool water and the fact that the sun doesn’t seem too much yet. It’s when the boys return that Seokjin reminds everyone of the penalties from yesterday’s game and suggests playing more games until there’s only one person left to receive the punishment. There's a handstand race, which Hoseok loses, and then there’s the chicken fight, which is a three-way match between you, Gyu-rim, and Suhyeon. 

Jimin says that the men with the sturdiest shoulders should be the other half of the pairs, and with Suhyeon being paired with Namjoon and Gyu-rim calling dibs on Taehyung, that’s how you end up with Jungkook as your partner. 

You try your best to not look affected even if you’re freaking out inside. You ask Jungkook instead if he’s ready to win and save your ass from drinking Seokjin’s terrible concoction. 

He chuckles and says that he trained his whole life to always win at chicken fights and that he has amazing grip. While you should’ve taken that lightly, your mind goes somewhere again that you have to pinch your cheeks as a reminder to get away from that place and instead focus. 

He asks if you’re ready then assists you in getting on his shoulders and he’s right, his grip on your thighs is pretty good and you just know he’s gonna be holding you steady all throughout. You practice some moves and he advises you on what to do. 

“Will you hate me if I pull your hair,” you ask.

“Nope. I will if you fart, though.”

“I’ll try. Let’s hope I don’t get too excited,” you tease.

“Yah!” he exclaims, threatening to drop you in the water.

You hold onto his cheeks for support and you laugh and say he’s being dramatic. 

When Seokjin calls for the start of the match, you and Jungkook get your game faces on. He told you earlier to be aggressive so that’s what you do, and he expertly maneuvers his body so you can have the right angle for a good hit. You pull his hair only a little, but he doesn’t mind, especially when Suhyeon falls first, and then Gyu-rim follows right after. 

You celebrate your win with cheering and tender taps on Jungkook’s cheeks. He slowly drops you and you reflexively hug each other in joy. You feel the tingles at being so close to him, especially with your skin being in contact with his, and then your hands brushing against each other and lingering under the water. 

You sit next to each other on the pool ledge as you watch the two other women play rock-paper-scissors, with Gyu-rim losing and facing Hoseok for a palm push match while standing on a floatie.

It ends up being so intense. Hoseok has crazy core strength and can balance well but Gyu-rim is playing aggressively. It’s especially funny when Yoongi gets so into the match and keeps yelling out instructions for her to follow, even going as far as taunting Hoseok, causing him to laugh and eventually lose. 

Everyone explodes in laughter at the series of events. It has truly woken all of you up and you feel energized. You stay in the pool for a few more minutes before getting changed, ready for a drive around the island.

Mo-eum is on the wheel this time while you make yourself comfortable next to her. You all watch Jungkook and Taehyung enjoy themselves again on their bikes as they guide you and the other cars to a quieter part of town. 

You find a stunning waterfall and then go to the hill with wildflowers, which also has a nice view of the mountains. You buy some rice cakes from a store then get some iced drinks from a cafe before heading to a park to look at all the springtime flowers in full bloom. 

Much as you want to just stay next to Jungkook whenever you hang around a new place, you find yourself enjoying watching him just be. Whether he’s looking around and enjoying the view or being rowdy and playful with your friends, you’re captivated by what he does and how he is, which is totally new to you. 

“Even you weren’t that endeared with your exes,” Mo-eum points out when you’re back in the car to head to a beach. “I mean, I guess I get it. They weren’t exactly charming people, no offense.”

You look at her in question, wondering what made her say it.

“You were looking at Kook with sparkly eyes,” she shrugs. “Just thought you should know in case you didn’t know.”

“I—” you stutter, clearly unaware. 

“It’s fine, dude. It’s just us,” Jimin chuckles. “It’s how it is when you like someone, you know?”

“Was I not like this with my exes?” You ask them.

“Hmm, not really. You were ecstatic at the start, obviously,” Mo-eum says. “But I don’t recall you being this… soft. It might come with age, who knows? You’re probably exhausted from feeling so intensely all the time.”

You let her words settle as it turns quiet in the car, save for the blowing of the wind through the open windows. It must be tiring to experience such strong feelings all the time; you suppose that’s why you never really got to pay attention to them.

With Jungkook, you’ve been having these feelings for a few weeks now, and they’ve been ruminating, like you’re settling into them as you try to make sense of how this could happen. You suppose in your constant questioning or even disbelief, it’s allowed you to take things slow. With this trip and being around him as much as you are, you’re gradually getting used to feeling this way while not throwing yourself completely into it right away. You’re also getting used to you being like this.

You suppose that’s made you take notice of everything else about him. It’s also what’s making you look at him more softly, as if you’re getting to know him from afar.

Your thoughts are suspended for a while when you arrive at a quiet beach. It’s the perfect spot for a swim and you watch your friends put on their sunblocks and rush to the water. You’re surprised at how much energy all of you still have but it’s probably the most free you’ve all felt in a long time. 

You sit on the beach towel that’s been set on the ground. You’re watching them play around while putting on your sunscreen when you hear Jungkook call your name before sitting down next to you.

“Hey,” you say. “Why aren’t you there with them yet?”

“Tae and Jimin made me put on their sunscreens then ran to the water,” he pouts. “Do I still have some on my face?”

You look at him when he turns to face you. You spread the bit that’s on his nose and chin then tell him he’s all good. He puts on his arms and you have to turn away and act unaffected when he spreads the lotion on his chest and torso. He turns to you again with his bunny-like smile and asks if you could put on his back.

“Sure,” you smile. 

You do it as calmly as you can, forcing thoughts out of your mind because while this isn’t the first time you’ve done this, it’s the first time that you’re desiring him.

He asks if you’ll swim, too, and you instinctively nod so he offers to put some on your back. You nod again, not at all ready for his palms to press against your skin like this. 

Of all times to wear a two-piece suit, it really had to be now and you think that you could’ve stuck to what you wore this morning. You remove your cover up dress and turn around, hoping that he won’t feel the shiver on your skin once he touches you.

But you feel it, not because the lotion is cold but because his hand is rough and gentle at the same time. He’s quiet, too, so you don’t know what’s going on in his mind and you suddenly feel tense, especially when he moves down to your waist and you jerk in surprise. 

But he doesn’t say anything until he’s finished. You mumble your thanks and he faces the water once you start spreading the lotion on your arms and legs. 

Mo-eum yells for both of you to come so Jungkook stands up and offers his hand for you to take, which you do. Your fingers brush against each other again and you can’t help the small smile that forms on your face, until you find out that there are pebbles that line the shore which you have to cross to get to the water and you express your dismay.

“It’s just like acupuncture on your feet,” Jungkook explains.

“I don’t like them. They hurt,” you pout.

“Come on. It’s not that bad,” he says.

You still look unsure so he offers his hand again and you take it, letting him ease the pressure on your feet as you walk over. You make it, and you sigh in relief once you’re submerged in the cool water. 

Your friends join you and you all just soak in the feeling of being here and wave at the others who opted to stay on the shore. 

When you all collectively start getting dehydrated, you decide to head back. You groan when you reach the pebbled part of the shore again and Jungkook chuckles next to you.

“Do you want to ride on my back? Do you want me to throw you to the other side or build you a bridge?” He teases.

The piggyback ride is definitely tempting but you opt for something else.

“Hold my hand again?” You ask.

He softly smiles and offers his and you gladly take it. You almost don’t want to let go but you do, hoping for another chance to do it again. 

You all lay on the towels to dry up a bit before heading back on the road for a last drive to a pier before heading to a restaurant for some black pork belly for dinner. 

You sit next to Jungkook, given the realization that it’s your last night and tomorrow’s your last day. When you get back to Seoul, it’s back to the daily grind and your usual schedule. You want to see him again. In fact, you want to see him more. 

You could reason that you’re just doing what you’ve been doing these past months if you ask him to hang out or go with you to buy something or watch a movie in your apartment. Or you could just be honest with him and tell him how you feel, perhaps see if he feels the same way and figure out where you go from here. 

The thought makes you giggle and butterflies explode in your belly thinking that he might like you, too. You don’t want to assume. It could be that he’s always been this attentive or affectionate to you and you never really paid attention because maybe, he stayed the same and you’re the one that changed. 

It’s also possible that alongside you, he also changed. Or you may also just be reading too much into it and you’re completely off the mark and it may be the worst thing in the world but then maybe it isn’t. Not having him around you in any way is definitely much worse and that thought makes your heart skip a beat for all the wrong reasons. 

You don’t want to think of a life where he isn’t around, same as you can’t imagine the last 10 years without him. Would trying to have something more put all that in jeopardy? 

But you’ve always been a risk-taker. You’ve been rejected before but you got over it and you never regretted going for something you want for fear of what you’ll lose. 

Then again, Jungkook is different; he’s your friend. Losing him because he doesn’t feel the same way would be terrible for you.

But who’s to say you’ll lose him even if he doesn’t like you back? You’ll make sure you won’t and—

“Yah,” he nudges your knee. “Can your wandering mind get its ass back here? We’ve got dinner to eat. I’m cooking this pork perfectly so you better be present for it.”

You turn to him who’s teasingly laughing at you and you shake your head, knowing he’d seen your face probably express all the different thoughts and emotions you just experienced all in one minute. 

“Okay, better get going and cook it to perfection then,” you say smugly. 

Jungkook shows off when he’s challenged and that’s what he does. He gives a commentary of how he’s grilling the pork and even does tricks of opening the soju and beer bottles to the delight of everyone. But he’s right to boast because the meat does taste amazing. He’s rendered the fat well and it’s so juicy, everyone moans through dinner. 

You all stay in the restaurant a while to make sure everyone’s sobered up before heading back to the house where you watch an outdoor movie - a sci-fi horror film that Mo-eum insisted on because she thinks she’ll be less scared with more people around. 

She wasn’t right about that and you fared much better with Jungkook next to you, mostly because you were actually nervous to do something silly, like snuggle with him or hold his hand. You screamed only in one part and managed to cover your mouth in time. He teasingly laughed at you though and said he wasn’t going anywhere even if you screamed again.

There’s dancing and singing right after to get over what you just watched. There’s also definitely more alcohol. But you hold off a little, knowing you have that sunrise ride in the morning with Jungkook, which you’re really doing alone with him because everybody else passed up on it. 

You see him drink less, too, and you look at each other after rejecting Namjoon’s drink offers and know you’re thinking the same. 

The night still ends right before midnight though, and once you’re settled on your side of the bed and Jungkook is tucked under the covers on his, he asks you again about tomorrow.

“You sure you’re ready to wake up and brave the cold?”

“Yes. You’ll make sure I will,” you laugh.

“Okay then. See you in the morning.”

Waking you up before 5 AM isn’t as bad as Jungkook expected. You open your eyes after the fifth tap and raise your arms for him to pull so you could get off the bed. You trip on the floor mattress but thankfully don’t wake Taehyung up nor stub your toe so that’s a success in Jungkook’s books. 

You insist on washing up downstairs so you don’t wake your friends up and he has to guide you down the steps because you’re still half asleep. You do your business then wait for him to do his.

You jerk in surprise when he exits the bathroom in just his joggers, and you grumbly ask him why he’s always naked. When he laughs at your question, you ask him why he’s laughing, and he just waves this off as you, speaking your mind like always. 

You ask for his jacket though, since the thickest one you have is still wet and he’s got one he could lend you so he wears the thinner one so you’d feel warmer.

There are a dozen things that could’ve gone wrong with just getting you out of the door but they didn’t happen so yes, this isn't as bad as Jungkook had imagined. 

You make your way to his motorcycle and he faces you to put on your helmet.

“Don’t be scared, okay? Tell me if you are then I’ll slow down,” he instructs. “But just hold tight. You know I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“Okay,” you smile softly. 

He gets on the bike and you follow his instructions for getting behind him. You wear the backpack with the hot drinks inside then you wrap your arms around his waist as security. 

You quickly settle in and loosen your hold around him just a little. It’s still dark everywhere so there’s not much to see so you just focus on how he feels in front of you, liking the warmth he emits and the stability he provides as he carefully drives around. 

It’s not a long drive but you suppose that’s fine. You get to the viewing spot and quickly see the start of the sun’s ascent.

“Not bad, right?” He gestures to his bike. “It rides pretty smooth and it’s not too loud.”

“It was fine,” you assure him. “I didn’t feel like I was gonna fall off or anything.”

He smiles in response and helps you sit on the ledge of a wall that gives a good view of the ocean. With cups of hot tea in hand, you sit in silence as the sky starts to lighten, as if you’re witnessing the changing of the guards and it’s now the sun’s turn to watch over earth. 

It’s breathtaking and you think of all the times you’d taken the sunrise for granted. It’s slow but it’s constant. It may look different, depending on where you’re watching it from, but it still happens everyday and you either go through your day without thinking about it or you stop and look at the sun and think that it did its best in showing up today. 

That’s how it is with things you’ve gotten used to sometimes - you stop paying attention, and perhaps that’s when you miss out on important things. 

You recall the sunrise during your hike a few months ago when Jungkook stayed back to make sure you made it to the top. You don’t even know where he was when you all sat down by the rocks to watch and perhaps that says a lot with how you looked at him then. Because you’re here alone with him now, and you already know this moment will last with you for a long time. 

Maybe your friendship is like the sunrise. It will always be there, but you could watch it on top of a mountain or by the ocean or along Hangang River and the view changes. You know you changed, and now that you’ve paid attention, you want to know if this friendship could change into something more, too.

“Now that’s satisfying,” Jungkook hums as the sun settles above the water now.

“Thanks for telling me about this place and bringing me here, Kook,” you turn to face him. “It’s uh, it’s something I’ll always remember.”

“Yeah. Me, too,” he responds. 

You don’t know if it’s the sincerity in his eyes or it’s just you being caught up in the moment, but you glance at his lips and think for a millisecond that crashing yours against his is a good idea. 

His phone alarm ringing fortunately knocks some sense into you and you turn away in time for you to not do anything abrupt and maybe unwelcome. He remarks that he forgot to set it off for this time and you nod, internally thankful that he did. 

It’s at that moment when you hear sounds from the water and see that dolphins have come to swim on this part of the ocean. You’re so surprised and excited that you reflexively hold his hand but he doesn’t seem put off and he lets it stay there.

You don’t mind at this point. All you know is that it feels right and you want to feel it again. 

The moment ends and you look at each other in awe at being able to experience something so wholesome and beautiful together. You suppose it’s too much for words, as you get back on the bike and ride around town with not many words. 

It’s a longer trip this time, as he says that he’ll take the other route so there’s more of the town to see, and you don’t mind at all. You’d like to hold him like this as long as possible.

You make it back to the house and take a nap until everyone else wakes up. You pack your bags and load them in the trunk before you head out for some stir fried pork lunch. Jungkook and Taehyung follow after returning their bikes and you watch Jungkook from afar, beefing with Jimin about the sausage and then finishing more portions than he said he’d have.

You drive to the airport and don’t wait long before you board the plane. You sit next to Jungkook again and you lean on each other just like the flight coming here. But you suppose something’s really changed now, as you comfortably snuggle closer and think that you want to keep doing this, maybe hold hands, too. Perhaps share a kiss?

It’s all too much and probably too soon but you’ll care about all that later on. You want to bask in the possibilities first; the thoughts of consequences will come soon after you separate from him. 

And it does, after you hang out at Jungkook’s place with Taehyung, Jimin, and Mo-eum and then he drops you off at yours. 

“So, Tae invited himself and you guys to my apartment on Saturday,” you say when you open your door and he rolls your luggage inside your home. “You’ll be there, right?”

“Of course,” he smiles.

“I’ll return your hoodie all fresh and washed then!”

“No problem. You take care, yeah? Hopefully the trip gave you a bit of energy for the week.”

“It did. It gave me a lot actually. You, too,” you smile back.

“Same,” he nods. “I’ll head out and see you, yeah?”

“Good night, Kook!” You yell out.

“Good night!”

You lie on your couch once you close the door and take in his scent on his hoodie that you don’t want to remove just yet. You already can’t wait to see him again. You also know you’re gonna have to find a way to deal with all this and you’ll have to do it without losing him in the process.

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[jude-duarte-wannabe]

the broadway bug; pt one

@hugleclerc and @isaadore it's finally finished! I hope it turned out alright <3 love you guys and thanks for taking a look at what i'd written.

pairing; charles leclerc x marcy lace montgomery faceclaim: gracie abrams

blurb; when artist met athlete and they turned eachothers world's upside down.

warnings; grinding, dirty thoughts, google translated french, hair pulling, dirty talking, being mutually horny, oral fem!receiving, unprotected sex [wrap it before you tap it], one night stand, morning after awkwardness, drunk/tipsy sex, sloppy kisses, slight mention of a belly bulge [let me know if i missed anything!]

currently playing; woke up late by drax project ft hailee steinfeld "last night we met at one, drank 'til two, danced 'til four, walked you home, awake 'til dawn, slept 'til noon and now i want more, i got that taste, it's in my mouth, it's like i had too much last night but it just felt so right"

marcy.on.stage

liked by anthonyramosoffical, windsormusic and 176,988 more marcy.on.stage: there's a stranger in my bed...

pwindsormusic: so this is where you ended up! ↳ marcy.on.stage: he was cute okay!

anthonyramosoffical: mother.... what about father? ↳ lin_manuel: wife.... this is not you ↳ marcy.on.stage: haha your so funny.. kidding i fucking love you guys <3

usernameone: mother got it good!!

kaiamayfairmusic: bestie!!! i miss you!! ↳ marcy.on.stage: i miss you more my british biscuit!! ↳ pwindsormusic: bitch!! i am your british biscuit...

~tap to view more comments~

your back hit the door with a thud as you gasped into the mouth of the tall firm body pressed against you, hands sneaking under his shirt with an eagerness of seeking out new territory.

his skin was warm beneath your hands and you could feel the muscles tense under your delicate featherlight touch, his hands gripped at your hair as you lips met in a sloppy wet kiss.

"i didn't catch your name" you giggled in a moment of respite from his heavy assault upon your mouth "charles" he muttered before attacked your mouth once more as the door to your apartment fell open sending you both tumbling back inside.

"marcy" you murmured but it seemed this charles character couldn't care in the moment as his fingers began to play with the strings of your lace up cami, fingers pulling in earnest.

you'd had no clue that you'd be going home with a guy tonight let alone one that you didn't know, your best friend of fifteen years had decided to take you out in celebration of landing the role of eliza schuyler in hamilton the musical.

you'd first met this charles when you were around four drinks in, already at the bar asking for your fifth and he'd appeared beside you, ordering another round for his table.

it was the off season and he was celebrating with his future teammate lewis who said that he just had to see new york and others including his current teammate carlos "i'm going to miss you mate" charles mumbled "it won't be the same without you" he'd told carlos, they'ed become like brothers and while it was nothing like the relationship carlos had with lando, charles would trust carlos with his life.

"buy me another drink and then we can get sappy darling" carlos chuckled, it had been a running joke the past four years that they had spent together, calling eachother endearing names.

"yes sweetie" charles chuckled back, finding his balance as he stood, already being a little tipsy and that's that how you both came to stand at the bar at the right time to meet eachother while waiting for new rounds of drinks.

he'd accidentally bumped you as he'd approached "m'sorry" oh now that was a smile you knew would be worth sinning for you thought as you gazed into those perfect soulful green eyes "it's alright" you smiled back.

god must have a cruel sense of humor throwing you in charles's way, he wasn't looking to go home with anyone but he was quickly changing his mind, was the temperature in this bar getting warmer or was that his mind playing tricks on him for the way gazed at you.

but he couldn't help himself, you looked so pretty in your lacy little camisole, he swallowed when he thought he caught sight of your pebbled nipples beneath the fabric, his mind began to wander as he thought about what they might feel like beneath his fingers or better yet.. between his lips.

he shook his head to get rid of the thoughts as the bartender placed his drinks on the tray in front of him, he looked down and when he gazed back your way, you'd started walking away, he reacted quicker than he would during a race.

his hand reached out and grabbed your arm gently, he had to get to know you, you spun around when you felt the hand on your arm, although the touch was featherlight, you felt it... the touch sending shivers zapping up and down your spine, he'd barely touched you and he already had heat pooling in the pit of your stomach.

"do you want have your drink with me and my friends, i can pay for it too, make up for bumping into you" he offered in that smooth husky voice that you'd begun to realize you'd do just about anything for including dropping to your knees right then and there to give him a blowjob that would have him writing his vows on a bar napkin.

and oh how you'd wanted to agree so fast but the lingering thought in the back of your brain told you no.. you were here with your friends.

but his eyes were begging you, those sweet soulful eyes and well fuck it.. it was a night to have fun "you know what.. sure" you nodded as you glanced back your friends who were all tangled around eachother on the dancefloor.

when charles returned with you, his friends looked surprised "now who is this mate" lewis chuckled but charles dismissed them with the words "a friend"

great you thought, already friend-zoned but if you had anything to do with it, you'd change his mind by the end of the night, you however had no clue that he'd already begun to regret his words.

you watched as he sat and offered you a seat on his lap, you swallowed at the thought of it, the idea of being able to feel him through his jeans and your skirt.

fast forward two hours later and your basically grinding against eachother as you made your way out of the dingy little downtown bar, hailing a taxi at a fast pace, you and charles had talked for hours and yet neither of your names came up and right now neither of you could care as his lips met the sensitive skin behind your ear as you still tried desperately to hail a taxi which led to the current moment.

you couldn't keep your hands off eachother as you stumbled back towards the bedroom of your studio apartment, pulling eachothers clothes off in hast, you were desperate to feel the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips, to hear the groans that would slip past his lips as your nails dragged down his back.

you were stripped bare of all but your lacy black underwear while he was still adorned in his jeans as your back hit the bed and the little oof you let out at the impact made him sigh.. fuck you were adorable.

you weren't sure if it was the mass amount of alcohol floating through your bloodstream or the heat radiating between your bodies but the sight of him standing before you made your mind even hazier than it currently was, it like all your thoughts had vanished as you gazed at the muscles of his taught chest and his strong arms.. oh yeah no your thoughts were long gone, floating on a phantom wind like autumn leaves in a cool afternoon breeze.. this man was about to be the death of you.

the weight of his body pressing against yours as he climbed over your trembling frame was heavenly "you excited sweetheart" he muttered as his lips found your collar bone, that was the first time you'd noticed his accent, french and it was thick in his throat and fuck did you love it.

"please keep talking" you gasped as your fingers gripped at his hair, tugging gently, your whispered breathless words brought a chuckle from his throat "you like my accent sweet girl" he asked darkly to which you merely nodded, as you pulled him closer.

"et si je parle en français, c'est gentil" [and if i speak in french sweet thing] he murmured against your skin which caused you to shudder underneath him "relax sweet thing" he chuckled as he felt the movement.

your fingers threaded through his hair to pull him even closer which theoretically wasn't possible but you couldn't help but try.. charles on the other hand couldn't help but believe that he was finally able to make his earlier thoughts to come to life.. he felt like he was living in a dream as his lips enclosed around you breast, sucking and licking at the skin as though he was a man starved.

"oh god.." your head tipped back against the mountain of pillows that made up your bed "your hardly doing anything and your driving me insane" you groaned out fingers tugging at his brown locks, you could have sworn you felt the cocky smirk that spread across his face at your words.

it wasn't long before his lips released your breast.. thumb rubbing over your nipple in fascination.. before he once more began to kiss his way down your body, lips tracing every dip and curve of your body.

your stomach tensed as his lips kissed his way down the length of your body, tongue darting out to lick at your skin as he went, tasting every inch of you.

"so sweet darling, want to eat you up" the grin that adorned his face was deadly, when your body shuddered beneath his touch, he knew there was no more denying eachother of the thing you both wanted.. his mouth on you and the taste of you on his tongue.

the soft featherlight kisses that he placed against your core through the lace of your panties had you tensing and bucking your hips against his face, with a smile even deadlier than the last, he wrapped his arms under your thighs and across your stomach, pinning you to the mattress.

"gotta stop squirming sweet thing" charles breath was hot against your core as he chuckled, pulling the barely there scrap of lace you called underwear to the side, it was torturous the way he placed soft kisses to the pussy lips.

as your fingers tangled through the soft locks of his beautiful brown hair, he knew you'd had enough of his teasing, your hands pushing his head closer to where you desired him most, when the tip of his nose brushed against your sensitive clit, he could have sworn the sound you let out was orgasm worthy.

he wriggled a little, trying to get rid of the feeling, he was not about turn back into the insecure teenage boy he once was, the boy that would be so close to cumming in his pants when a girl simply said hello to him.

cloud nine was really the only way to describe the feeling zipping through your body when he finally made his move, tongue dipping into your folds and licking one gentle swipe up across your cunt.

charles felt his eyes roll as he finally tasted you, so sweet like honey or maybe even champagne, you were addicting, a new drug he couldn't get enough of.

you felt he was treating you as some kind of meal with the way he was eating you out, his tongue dragging through your folds and licking up every drop of your sweet juices like he hadn't eaten in days.

it wasn't long before he had you cumming on his tongue, juices flowing into his mouth but he didn't stop, he merely pinned you harder to the mattress and kept going at you like some three course meal.

it was overstimulating the way he kept licking and sucking at your cunt, the whines that slipped past your red raw lips you'd been gnawing at the whole time were like an angel's voice to charles ears but the tug you gave to his hair let him know it felt the opposite "no more... no more" you gasped.

charles pulled back unwillingly "but you taste too good to stop.." he whined in protest "later" you promised, grabbing at him, trying to pull him closer, his body clambered back up and above yours, hands caging around your head as he leaned down close to your face.

your lips smashed together, hands coming up to cup his face as your kissed sloppily, you could taste yourself on his lips and tongue "i see what you mean" you purred as your tongue wiped across your bottom lip.

"holy fuck... your gonna be the death of me" charles groaned out, his voice turning hoarse at the sight of you, it wasn't long before his jeans had been discarded and joined the rest of your clothes on the apartment floor, scattered around to hunt for tomorrow morning.

"shit!" you squealed as charles's hands took a firm hold on your hips and lifted you closer to him, aching to slip inside you but not wanting to cum too fast, he took a moment to admire your fully naked quivering form beneath him, the mere sight of you was becoming embedded into his memory for later use, it would also haunt his dreams later... not that he knew that fact in the moment.

with a few soft reassuring words and your hands tightly gripping the sheets beneath you, you tensed as the first nudge of his cock entering your wet, tight, hot walls could be felt.

the position he currently had you in made the feeling all that more breathtaking, the groan of pleasure mixed with utter relief escaped your mouth, head slamming back against the pillows, eyes rolling to the back of your skull as he railed his hips in and out of you like a rabbit in heat.

"oh god... fuck" his voice was low as the words escaped his parted lips, charles's head pressed against the mattress next to yours, hips picking up speed with every thrust

"how the hell are you deep" your words a rasp in charles's ear as your body moved, hands gripping at his shoulders for support, holding on for dear life, almost though you'd tumble over the edge and not return if you let go. the pleasure zipping through your body was intense and yet you never wanted it to end.

charles gazed downwards at your words and almost came from what he saw "oh putain" he cursed, hand pressing to the base of your stomach and pushing down on the little bump that formed there with every thrust "shit!" you squealed at his actions, teeth biting at his shoulder to avoid anymore overly loud sounds coming out of your mouth, you didn't need a noise complainant tomorrow morning.

it wasn't long before the both of you were tumbling over the edge, multiple curses slipping out, your grip on his shoulders loosened as you slowly came down from the highest peak anyone had ever brought you to "what the fuck was that" you breathed out softly.

charles slowly rolled off of you, body landing with a soft thud on the mattress next to yours, being ever so smug he merely gazed you with a soft smirk playing at his lips, he rolled onto his stomach and moved around a little until his fingers trailed across your skin, his touch featherlight as his fingers created little patterns out of your freckles and his lips pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.

the two of you lay there in silence for a good while, unsure of what to say to each other in that moment, the silence was only slightly awkward yet comforting in way that soon lulled you both to sleep, charles's arm still lightly draped across your body as soft snores filled the room.

_________________

waking up the next morning, you had to squint to keep the sun out of your eyes, why the hell didn't you close the curtains you cursed yourself but at the same time, the warmth was nice to wake up to, it helped to ease the headache pounding against your skull.

"this is why i don't drink" you muttered, rolling onto your side, when you did you had to rub your eyes to make sure that you weren't hallucinating the man currently laying face down on your bed just small shuffle away, that's when all the memories and thoughts from the previous night hit you hard, how good he'd made you feel and the accent he held which made every word that tumbled from his soft yet slightly chapped lips sound even better.

you also couldn't stop yourself from thinking how nice he'd been to talk before you'd even made it back your apartment, if only you could remember his name; chris.. no, carl.. definitely not, charlie sounded almost right but not quite there and so in order to avoid hurting your brain anymore, you decided to just settle on his name being charlie for now.

as you there gazing at him, you couldn't but admire him, the way the morning sun peaking through the windows of your studio apartment illuminated his features in a way that made him look like some kind of greek god, his soft lips lightly parted as even softer sounds escaped them. you admired his slightly flushed cheeks and cute fluffy morning bed hair, he looked adorable.

the thoughts that swirled in your brain as you admired him were consistent, he was cute, he is really good in bed and others like it but there was one that more prominent than the others, how awkward this would be when he woke up and it's not like you could sneak out while he still slept, you normally would but that was when it was their apartments or hotel rooms, this time, it was yours.

as you contemplated the predicament that you had currently found yourself in, the man you had dubbed as charlie began to stir next to you "shit, shit, shit" you cursed under your breath, you watched as his eyelids slowly began to flutter, letting you know that he was slowly waking up. you quickly debated your choices in your head, you could either pretend to still be asleep for face the morning after conversation that was about to take place head on.

however before you could decide between choices, his eyes fully opened, revealing the most striking greenish blue you'd ever seen, you felt like you could almost drown in them, in the current morning light you couldn't stop yourself from thinking that his eyes looked even more captivating in this moment than they ever did in the lights of the cheep shitty bar you'd him in last night.

"buongiorno.." he mumbled, voice still rough with sleep was like heaven to listen to and that accent.. it was distinctly European you couldn't help but think but there was something else to it was well, he sounded french but you didn't want to assume, his accent overall had made his simple greeting sound effortless, you watched as blinked several times, seemingly taking in his surroundings with ever growing confusion.

"morning.. charlie" you greeted awkwardly, testing out the name that you'd settled on after not being able to fully remember his real name. you watched as he brow furrowed slightly and he cleared his throat "it's ah.. it's charles actually" he offered you a polite but strained smile "but ah.. close enough I guess"

you groaned at your own mistake before gazing at him again "marcy.." you muttered softly, "i'm marcy.. in case you forgot"

"marcy.." charles repeated, as if he were testing the name on his tongue. "I.. I didn't forget" the slight hesitation in his voice betrayed him completely. "sure you didn't" you replied with a knowing smirk.

the awkward silence that followed was almost palpable as you both lay there, two strangers who knew each other's bodies but very little else. charles shifted uncomfortably, causing the sheet to rustle around him "this is your apartment then.. i'm guessing" he asked, stating what you both knew was painfully obvious all while his eyes continued to dart around your studio apartment, taking in all the little details that made you, you.

"no.. last night I broke in and brought you along for the thrill" you deadpanned before you could stop yourself, your hangover was making your word filter malfunction "oh god.. un, sorry, yes.. this is my place" you groaned out quietly, hiding your head under your pillow in embarrassment.

he chuckled nervously, running a hand through his disheveled hair, you peaked out from under the pillow at the same time and your gaze couldn't help but follow his movement, the way his bicep flexed with such a simple action, the memories of those arms had felt wrapped around you last night flashed through you mind as you moved your back out from under the pillow so that he could see your face fully again.

"I like your.. ah" charles gestured vaguely around the room, his eyes landing on the framed playbill posters on your wall "... your ah.. theater things" ah bless him you couldn't help but think, trying to break the awkward tension between the two of you with casual conversation.

"theater things.." you repeated, unable to hold back a soft snort "that's.. very specific" as his eyes lingered on one particular piece of your framed memorabilia, you saw the recognition slowly begin to dawn on his face "wait.. you're.. are you that marcy? marcy montgomery from thoroughly modern millie.. my maman loved you in that" he murmured as he gazed at you.

you felt your cheeks heat up, it always caught you off guard when people recognized you, your role as dorothy in the hit broadway show back in 2012 had earned you some recognition in new york but you weren't exactly a household name, at least you didn't think that you were.

"ah.. guilty as charged" you admitted, pulling the sheet higher around your chest, suddenly beginning to feel much more exposed than you had just mere moments ago "though i'm surprised that a.." you trailed off, realizing that you had absolutely no clue who charles really was or what exactly it was that he did for a living.

"formula one driver" he supplied, saving you from your own embarrassment "I drive for ferrari.." your mouth dropped open in shock, now it was your turn to be impressed and yet mortified at the same time, you'd gone home with a race-car driver and had spent the morning calling him by the wrong name.

"formula one" you repeated dumbly, almost like he had done with your name earlier "as in like.. the cars that go really fast?" charles's lips quirked up in amusement then "well that's.. one way to put it, yes" he replied

"that's why you've got the accent.. italian.. right?" you guessed, knowing immediately from the expression that came to adorn his face that you were wrong "monégasque" he corrected you gently "from monaco"

you laughed then, face falling into your hands as another soft groan escaped you "alright well now i'm glad i guessed italian, my original guess was that you were french.." you admitted.

charles couldn't stop himself from laughing at that, it was a genuine sound that momentarily cut through the awkwardness "well, you weren't entirely wrong.. monaco is very close to france and many of us speak french so your instincts weren't completely off" he replied with a soft smile

"small victories.." you mumbled, attempting to smooth down your bed head with one hand while still keeping the sheet secured with the other "so.. you're like, pretty famous then.. yeah"

charles shrugged at your question, a gesture that was somehow both humble and confident at the same time "in certain circles.. yes but not like you and broadway thought, that's real talent"

"oh.. says the man whom drives death machines at three hundred kilometers per hour" you shot back. "that's a fair point" he conceded with a small smile that made your stomach do an inconvenient flip, you were just going to blame it on the hangover.

another silence settled between you then, it was less awkward than before but still had a sense of lingering uncertainty, you both seemed to be calculating your nest moves as if planning a race strategy or blocking for a complicated dance number.

"I should probably.." charles finally broke the silence, gesturing vaguely towards a pile of clothes on your floor that were unmistakably his.

"right.. yes" you nodded too quickly, wincing as your head protested against the sudden movement "and I should probably..." you trailed off, realizing that you actually had nowhere to go, this was your apartment after all.

charles seemed to slowly register your dilemma "I.. I can go to the bathroom while you.." he made another vague gesture that somehow encompassed the entire concept of the morning after composure. "that would be.." you couldn't seem to find exactly the right word "helpful"

as charles gathered his scattered clothes from the floor, you couldn't help but notice a flash of red fabric - ferrari branded boxer, of course it was, you quickly adverted your eyes, feeling your face become flush again as charles made a quick dash for your bathroom.

the moment that the bathroom door clicked shut behind him, you scrambled out of bed, suddenly very aware of your complete nakedness, you grabbed the first two things you could find - an over sized 'nyu drama club' shirt and a pair of black yoga pants that has definitely seen better days, you ran your fingers through your tangled hair, knowing your hairbrush was in the bathroom. you couldn't help but grimace at your reflection in the mirror of your dresser, last nights mascara had created quite the impressive raccoon circles under your eyes.

"great.." you muttered, your licking your thumb and attempting to smudge away the worst of it "very fucking glamorous marcy" you muttered to yourself

from the bathroom, you could hear water running, followed by what sounded like a hushed phone conversation, probably calling his friends who were wondering where he'd disappeared to last night, you suddenly wondered how just how famous charles might actually be, famous enough to be spotted at breakfast spots or maybe famous enough that you should be concerned about paparazzi outside your apartment building. the thought sent you scrambling to your bedroom window to check the street below you, just the usual morning traffic and hurried new yorkers with coffee cups in hand running late for work, no suspicious characters with zoom lenses.

you breathed a sigh of relief just as the bathroom door opened, charles emerged looking considerably more put together than when he'd entered, hair damp and face clearly washed, he'd managed to make yesterday's rumpled clothes somehow look intentional, in that effortless european way that had always eluded you.

"I'm sorry about that" he said, holding up his phone "my friends were.. concerned about my whereabouts" he mumbled "well did you tell them that you were with dorothy from thoroughly modern millie" you joked weakly.

"actually, I told them I was with another friend.." charles replied, his eyes meeting yours with a strange sincerity that made your breath catch "I hope that, that's alright"

"a friend.." you repeated, unsure why such a simple word made your heart do a little stutter "yeah, that's.. ah accurate, I guess" charles rubbed the back of his neck, looking around your apartment as if searching for the right words "well.. I should probably get going"

"right, of course" you nodded, suddenly feeling oddly deflated, this was how one-night stands were meant to end, polite and quick goodbyes with absolutely no string attached.. so why did this feel so different "it was very nice meeting you.. marcy" he said, extending his hand as if for a handshake but realized the absurdity of the gesture after what you'd shared last night and dropped it awkwardly to his side.

"you too.. charles" you replied, crossing your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling very shy despite everything, he moved towards the door and as he went to grab the doorknob, you stopped him with your words, suddenly wanting to get to know him better when you realized that him leaving meant that you'd never see him again "do you want to stay for coffee" you blurted out.

charles froze with his hand lingering on the doorknob, clearly caught completely off guard by your sudden invitation, he turned back to face you, his eyebrows slightly raised in surprise "coffee?" he repeated, as if testing the word.

you immediately regretted your very impulsive offer, "I mean, if you have time that is.. you probably don't, you've most likely got plans with your friends or whatever it is formula one drivers do" you were rambling now, your hangover causing words to spill from your mouth quicker than your brain could filter them.

"actually.." charles glanced down briefly before looking back up to meet your gaze "I don't actually have any plans today.." you hadn't been expecting that, now what to do "oh.. well um, my coffee maker is completely ancient so don't be expecting anything fancy"

charles smiled, the tension in his shoulders visibly easing "i'm not too picky about coffee after a night out..." he trailed off "right.." you nodded, heat rising to your cheeks again "well make yourself comfortable.." you gestured towards your couch with a soft smile on your face

you moved from your spot, making your way towards your kitchen, the open layout still allowed you to be able to communicate with charles while you worked, you couldn't help but fumble with the coffee maker, the familiar routine gave your hands something to do as your mind raced with one singular question repeating itself; what were you hoping would happen by inviting him to stay..

"nice place.." charles commented, flopping down onto your couch "it's very... new york"

"well that's a polite way to say small and overpriced" you replied with a wry smile as you continued measuring the coffee grounds "I meant it has character" he clarified "monaco is beautiful but can be a bit.. sterile at times"

"I've never been, so I wouldn't know" you admitted, pressing the button on the coffee maker before turning to look at him, your body leaning against the edge of the kitchen counter "to monaco or any part of europe actually"

"never" charles seemed genuinely surprised by your words "even with your career" he questioned to which you shook your head "broadway shows don't typically tour europe, you have the odd west end show that comes here from time to time but it's not usually the other way around" you explained.

"well that's a shame" charles murmured, looking thoughtful "european audiences would love you" the compliment caught you completely off guard and so you busied yourself with pulling mismatched mugs from the cabinet just to hide your pleased smile "so what brings you to new york exactly.." you questioned, trying to change the subject.

"my new teammate for new year, lewis, he loves new york and said I just had to see it" he explained in brief "and so.. how are you liking it so far" you asked, raising an eyebrow at his words, a faint blush began to cover his cheeks "it has been.. memorable"

the coffee maker sputtered to completion and so you poured two mugs "milk, sugar?" you asked before picking them up "black is just fine" he replied, wrapping his hands around the mug as he watched you take a seat on the small couch next to him "thank you" he muttered.

as you sat, pressed close together due the small size of sofa, you suddenly became aware of just how intimate this felt - sharing coffee in your tiny living room, the both of you still slightly disheveled from the night before, yet a strange domesticity hung in the air, completely at odds with your usual one night stand protocol, you couldn't help but think that this was something you could indeed get used to.

"so.." you began, not knowing where you were going with it "formula one huh.. must be intense" charles gave a small laugh "well, that's one word for it.. it's my whole life" he offered in return

"how did you get into it?"

charles's eyes lit up your question and so he launched into a story about karting as a child, the influence his father had on him, a story all about chasing his dream and you found yourself genuinely fascinated, not just by what he was saying but by how he was saying it, the passion for his job evident in his voice and the animated way his hands moved as he spoke.

"sorry.." he said suddenly, cutting himself off mid sentence "i'm talking too much"

"no" you assured him, surprised to find that you really meant it "it's interesting.. really" you reached across, hand squeezing his gently in confirmation before falling back into your lap.

he swallowed as you squeezed his hand, having not have expected it at all "so ah.. what about you" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee "how exactly did you end up on broadway" now it was your turn to tell your story, about dance classes from the age of four, about the local community theater where you'd grown up all up to the audition that changed everything. as you spoke, you realized how long it had been since you'd talked about your journey with someone who wasn't a close relative, friend or someone who was already in the business, it was nice being able to talk to someone who asked you questions out of genuine curiosity rather than just professional networking.

"and now?.." charles asked you "what are you working on now?"

you smiled at the question "I just got casted as eliza in hamilton for the cast reunion shows, the original actresses couldn't do it cause she was too busy.." you explained

"hamilton?" charles's eyes widened with recognition. "even in monaco we know it, those songs are everywhere."

you smiled, "it's pretty surreal, honestly., i've been understudying for months, but when they called me for the lead..." you trailed off, shaking your head. "it still doesn't feel real."

"I understand that feeling," charles said softly. "my first time in a ferrari was like that, something you've dreamed about for so long suddenly becoming a reality."

your eyes met and there was an unexpected understanding between you, two people from completely different worlds who yet somehow recognized the same emotional landscape, the coffee in your mugs had since grown lukewarm yet neither of you seemed to notice as you discarded your mugs on the nearby coffee table, the late morning sun filtering through your windows casted a gentle glow across your apartment. you were about to ask him more about racing when your phone buzzed loudly on the coffee table.

"oh.. i'm sorry" you muttered, glancing at the screen to see it was your best friend; phoebe calling, charles merely stood "I should go anyway.. I've already imposed on your morning more than I intended to" a pang of disappointment hit you as you watched him collect himself, straightening out his shirt and running a hand through his soft hair, you silenced your phone, letting the call go to voicemail.

"it's just my friend, she can wait.. you don't have to rush off" you blurted out quickly "unless you have somewhere you need to be" you really didn't want him to go, you were enjoying his company far too much.

charles paused, already halfway to the door, his expression shifting as he considered your words. he turned back to face you, running a hand through his dark hair.

"I don't have anywhere urgent to be," he admitted, his voice softer than before. "It's just... I didn't want to overstay my welcome."

"you're not," you assured him quickly, perhaps too quickly, but the genuine smile that spread across his face in response made your momentary eagerness worth it, he settled back onto your couch, his lanky frame relaxing into the cushions. "so hamilton, huh? that's a big deal."

"yeah," you nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you settled beside him, close but not touching, which was surprising considering how small your couch really was "i still pinch myself sometimes, just thinking about it" you admitted with a soft smile adorning your features, charles smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I know exactly what you mean, I still do the same with ferrari."

"so how long have you been racing?" you asked, genuinely curious about his world that seemed so far removed from broadway, "since I was four," he replied, his expression softening with nostalgia. "my father put me in a go-kart, and that was it, i knew even then what I wanted to do with my life." he paused, studying your face, "what about you, huh marcy? was performing always the dream?"

hearing your name on his lips sent an unexpected warmth through you. "my mom took me to see hairspray when I was six, I came home and announced I was going to be on broadway someday." you laughed softly. "she probably thought it was just a phase."

"but it wasn't," charles said, his voice warm with understanding, "no" you agreed. "dance classes, voice lessons, community theater, i was obsessed and then nyu for musical theater and after graduation, there was the endless cycle of auditions, rejections, waitlisting..." you shrugged.

"and now hamilton," he finished for you "that's amazing.. really" the sincerity in his voice touched you, so many people in your life had supported your dreams, but few truly understood the sacrifice and dedication required to make them reality, yet here was this not so strange anymore stranger who seemed to get it immediately.

"racing seems even more competitive," you offered. "I mean, there are what, only twenty formula one drivers in the world?"

charles nodded. "twenty seats and hundreds of drivers who would kill for just one of them." his accent thickened slightly as he continued, "the pressure is...intense, one bad season and sometimes even a few bad races, and they're looking to replace you."

"how do you handle it?" you asked softly, he was quiet for a moment, his gaze drifting toward your window "i remind myself that i'm living my dream, even on the hardest days." he looked back at you. "and you, how will you handle opening night in one of the biggest shows on broadway?"

"probably by throwing up backstage," you joked, though there was truth in it. "but then the music will start, and everything else will fade away." you hesitated, then added more seriously, "it's the only time I feel truly present, when i'm performing, it's like nothing exists outside that moment."

"that's exactly how it feels in the car," charles said, leaning forward slightly, his eyes alight with recognition. "the focus narrows until there's nothing but you and the track and the absolute edge of what's possible." you stared at each other for a beat, the connection between you palpable, two people who understood what it meant to pursue something with every fiber of their being, who understood what it was like to live for those moments.

"it's strange," you murmured, "how someone who drives at 300 miles per hour could understand my world so well."

"perhaps not so strange," he countered softly. "passion is passion, no matter what form it takes." your phone buzzed again from the coffee table, but neither of you glanced toward it, the space between you had shrunk somehow, though you weren't sure which of you had moved closer.

"how much longer are you in new york for" you asked, charles's expression softened as he considered your question. "i'm actually here for another week," he revealed, leaning back slightly against your couch cushions, you couldn't help the smile that spread across your face at his words.

"so this is going to sound a little weird.. but i'd like to get to know you a bit more.." you admitted then, unsure of how he would take it, after all this had all started as a one night stand.

charles smiled, his green eyes crinkling in the corners softly "I don't think that sounds weird at all" he said, voice soft "I was actually hoping that you might say something like that"

relief washed over you. "really?" you asked him, just wanting to double check on his answer "really," he confirmed, shifting slightly closer on the small couch "there's something about you, marcy... I can't quite explain it but hen I woke up this morning, I should have been thinking about my friends waiting for me at the hotel, but all I could think about was finding a reason to stay a little longer."

your heart fluttered at his admission. "so what does your vacation look like for the rest of the week?" you asked, trying to sound casual despite the warmth spreading through your chest.

"well," charles ran a hand through his dark hair, "my friends and I had plans to see some sights, check out some restaurants, it's very rare that I get time away from racing to just be... normal." he paused, looking at you with a hint of vulnerability in his expression "but I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I disappeared for an evening or two, maybe you could show me your new york? the places tourists don't know about?"

"i'd like that," you said, unable to contain your smile, the conversation flowed easily between you, minutes stretching into hours as you discovered more about each other. charles told you about growing up in monaco, about the weight of carrying on his father's legacy, about how these rare getaways with his childhood friends and sometimes the other drivers kept him grounded during the whirlwind of the racing season. and you shared stories of your hometown, the countless auditions and rejections before finally landing your big break.

as afternoon sunlight shifted across your apartment floor, you both realized how much time had passed, charles glanced at his watch with evident reluctance.

"i really should go this time," he said, though he made no move to stand. "my friends have probably been texting me wondering if I'm still alive."

"i know," you replied, equally reluctant to end this unexpected connection. "I have rehearsal in a couple of hours anyway." charles nodded, finally rising from the couch, you walked him to the door, a comfortable silence falling between you, at the threshold, he turned to face you, his tall frame almost filling the doorway.

"thank you for today" he said softly. "and for the conversation, this wasn't exactly how I planned for my day to go, but..." he smiled, "it's turned out better than I could have imagined."

"I know what you mean," you admitted, looking up at him, charles took a step closer, his hand gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. the touch sent electricity through you, and you found yourself leaning into his palm as it cupped your cheek.

"may I?" he whispered, his accent thicker than before, his eyes searching yours, you nodded, rising slightly on your toes as he bent down, the kiss was gentle at first, tentative, his lips soft against yours but as your hands found their way to his shoulders, the kiss deepened, becoming something more certain, more promising, you could feel the rapid beating of his heart matching your own, the warmth of his body as he pulled you closer.

when you finally broke apart, you were both slightly breathless. charles rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed.

"my friends will tease me endlessly about this," he murmured with a soft laugh. "disappearing after a night out and coming back with stars in my eyes."

"worth it?" you asked with a playful smile.

"completely," he answered without hesitation. "I'll text you later?"

"You better," you replied. "I want to know which tourist trap your friends are dragging you to next so I can suggest something better."

with one last quick kiss, he reluctantly stepped back into the hallway. "until tomorrow, then.. tour guide" his last words before disappearing down your apartment buildings hallway pulled one final laugh from you.

as you closed the door behind him, you leaned against it, fingers touching your lips where his had been moments before. your phone buzzed again—probably phoebe, desperate to know where you disappeared to last now and why you'd been ignoring her all day but for now, you wanted to savor this feeling: the unexpected connection with someone who, despite coming from a world so different from your own, somehow understood you completely.

you smiled to yourself, your life had always been about the stage but suddenly, your world seemed to have expanded to include the city monaco and a certain formula one driver with green eyes and a soft accent who had come to new york for a vacation with friends and somehow found his way to your door, as you lent against it, you couldn't help but think about nothing except for seeing him again.

marcy.on.stage

marcy.on.stage: today's occupation: tour guide

comments limited

pwindsormusic: call me now!

[sy-ki]

𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚

word count: 1.4k

tags: caleb x afab fem!reader, smut, implied psuedo incest, creampie, cum eating, panty sniffing, pussy eating through panties (? idk what else to call it), cunnilingus, light nipple play, clit stimulation, light face licking, implied aftercare

note: uhh so this is like my first time ever writing smut, its not even beta read so forgive me for any mistakes, anyways.. it's 2:30am and i should definitely be sleeping so lmk if i missed any tags or anything like that

“Caleb hurry”

“Have some patience pips I'm trying to find the right angle” he says as he sets up the camera to catch you in the bed sitting cross legged, only wearing his old worn out tshirt and panties. Fleet work demands the attention of their colonel and not knowing when exactly he'll be able to wrap it up this is…. "motivation" for the time spent away from each other.

“Alright there” He says, satisfied with how the camera captures all of you and moves back in frame, climbing on the bed he settles in front of you hands on your knees rubbing soothing circles before prying them open, and they are immediately soothing down your thighs “You feel okay?” Caleb asks which in all honesty is very sweet of him, considering you haven't ever done anything like this but right now you can't bring yourself appreciate it, given how his lips were on yours minutes before he got an alert that the Fleet would need him tomorrow morning for a confidential case, so you nod wrapping your arms around his neck hoping he won't notice your disappointment.

But he does.

He always does.

“But you are. I hate that stupid fleet of yours, they always take you away from me” you say, spoiled. Absolutely spoiled by your gege, always needing him by your side, wanting to carve a space open in his chest and fit yourself inside. You had always been like this, it's a lot worse now though, ever since the explosion, thinking you had lost him forever and then finding him again, it has made you more possessive of him and his time, always clinging to him even after how much he changed in your eyes, how different he became from the Caleb you knew and grew up with. His heart sores at the thought.

“Don't be like that baby, you know I'm not leaving because I want to” he tries to soothe you like he has done countless times since you were children, trailing soft pecks from your forehead to your cheeks

He's quick to kiss away the sad little pout on your lips, “I'm here right now yeah?” he tries to reassure and distract you, kissing and nipping at your neck, which seems to do the trick since you were already worked up from earlier, he gently lays you down on your back and lifts your legs over his shoulder, kissing down your calves down to your core, there's impatience in his movement, how he grips the back of your doughy thighs pressing your knees to your chest as he mouths at the seam of your cotton panties, all tongue and teeth as he bites, sucks and licks just a few inches away from where you need him the most.

A choked “Fuck-” is all you manage to say before you throw your head back, hips lifting from his hold as they try to chase the pleasure his mouth gives, but he is faster, stronger it's easy to forget on normal days but when Caleb’s like this, hands pinning your thighs back down— manhandling you it sends a shiver down your spine “You liked that” he say, smug bastard “Shit- just- quit fucking around” you demand, a little frustrated now.

“Calebbb you're teasing again” you whine breathlessly pussy throbbing and gushing “I’m savouring you” he replies pressing his nose right up against your clit through the now slowly soaking panties and he breaths you in “Fuck— god you smell so fucking sweet”. He pays no mind to you squealing and trying to push his head away as he presses his nose deeper, breathing shakily, before you can yell at him he flattens his tongue over your pussy through the fabric.

All it does is make him chuckle “What a spoiled girl, didn't I teach you to ask for the things you want” he chides all too satisfied having you unravel beneath him, it makes you flustered, frustrated, hot like molten lava flushing your face warm, you want to hide from him, bury your face in the pillow but you know better than to do that, so you do what you've always been taught, you ask, nicely politely, “Want you, please” you beg to which he shakes his head “Be specific pips i can't read your mind on how you want me” he says, his thumb pushing under the elastic of your soaked panty as he pulls and snaps it on your skin “Shit- fuck. Okay, want your mouth, please.. gege use your mouth”

He grins before he adjusts you so your soaked cunt is on full display, the camera capturing it, before he licks a stripe up your silt fabric clinging to your puffed up lips, the tip of his tongue presses down where your hole should be then sucks the soaked fabric into his mouth before he pulls back just enough to slide it to the side and latch his mouth onto your clit, sucking and pressing down on it with his tongue, and all you can do is grip his hair and moan, legs wrapping around him, thighs trapping his head in place and Caleb thinks he can die happy here.

It isn't long when the coil in your belly is pulled tight “Caleb im g-gon—” “Go on baby, make a mess” it's all you need before you unravel on his tongue, his tongue fucking into you to taste every last drop, when it gets too overwhelming he gently pulls away with a kiss to your sensetive clit, you pull him up and into a kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue, it's messy, it's filthy, drool dripping down the sides of your mouths when he rubs his tongue against yours, swirling and sucking on it, you don't want to pull away, never, you want to be attached to him in every sense of the word, fused together, but the need for air takes over and your both separate with a filthy swipe of your tongue, Caleb however leans down to lick up the sides of your lips catching drool spilling over.

“Do you feel okay to continue?” Caleb asks to which you eagerly nod, you've been waiting for this the whole evening, moving you both in the middle of the bed, he picks up the camera, kneeling between your legs as you spread them open, the camera catching the wet shine of it, your hands bunch up his your tshirt up to your neck, Caleb can't help himself from pawing at your tits, leaning down to take one in his mouth, swirling his tongue around your nipple and lightly biting it, which earns him moans upon moans from you, popping it out of his mouth, he thumbs at your bottom lip, you take that as an invitation to wrap your pretty lips around it and suck, his cock throbs in his pants, has been leaking pre since he started touching you

You look up at him from under your lashes, still sucking on his fingers as you take his cock out stroking him, it earns you a delicious hiss from him as he slides his thumb out from your mouth, pressing and circling it on your neglected nipple, you gasp pussy gushing as you run his tip on your clit. Up and down, up and down as it catches on the entrance of your hold making both of you shudder, losing composure second by second, Caleb holds himself at the base and taps his cock on your wet cunt, pushing in all in one go.

The stretch leaves both of you breathless, and he sets a punishing pace, seemingly all thoughts and composure leaves him and he hastily sets the camera back down, in a somewhat coherent position so it at least keeps you both in frame, wrapping his hands around your hips he all but buries himself in you with each stroke, the camera shakes as well the recording definitely turning blurry. You wrap yourself around him, clinging and surrounding him as he reaches deep within you, tears of pleasure cling to your eyes as you hide your face in his neck, clenching around him as he momentary stutters his pace and he latches onto your nipple, two-three well angled thrusts and you both are coming undone, ropes and ropes of hot cum spilling inside you as you go limp under him, too boneless to move or ask him to move as he crushes you under his weight.

By the time he's finds the strength to pull away from you, you are floating between the edges of sleepiness It makes something fond bubble inside his chest “It's okay honey, you can rest I'll clean you up” He says kissing your cheek and reaching to switch the recording off, you give him a sweet smile before succumbing to sleep.

[cobaltperun]

Love Song Requiem - No Roads Left

Mabel x Female Reader

Story summary: Damn near everything in your life was purely business. So was this. Just go in, get the job done with the girl that's been building a reputation of her own, and that was supposed to be the end of it. And it was the end of something, you just didn't think it would be the end of a whole damn drug empire!

Chapter summary: "If I could do this all over again, I'd still make the same decisions," because they led you to her. You never truly believed in love, or that it could change you, but it did, she did. Lives neither of you chose connected, and the chain of events that would follow could not be stopped.

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.9k

-When did I lose my sense of purpose? Can I regain what's lost inside?-

You sat at the table, looking at the landline phone in front of you. Seriously? What was this? Last century. You sighed, figuring you should have gotten used to it by now as you dialed a familiar number. Every week, at the same time, the same number, the only number you still had the right to call and expect a friendly voice on the other side of the line.

Mabel picked up immediately, just like she always did these past eight weeks. “Y/N!” she exclaimed your name, and it almost hurt to hear. It sounded so much different than it did a few months ago, the excitement and flirty tone were replaced by longing and relief, but it was worth it.

It had to be worth it.

"Hey,” you smiled, forcing the negative thoughts out of your mind for a moment, hoping that Mabel would take this all a bit easier if you didn’t show how this was affecting you. “Is everything okay there?" you hoped you'd be able to notice if she was hiding anything from you.

And Mabel was doing the same thing, focusing on the positives. "Mhm," there it was, that casual got-everything-under-control response that made you relax. "Me and Charlie are just fine. He's a bit cautious and jumpy, but he'll get used to the new apartment," an unreasonable rage filled you.

"Charlie? Mabel, you know I love you, but quit trying to rename Charcoal," you whisper-shouted at her, ignoring the warning looks people around you gave you. It was worth it, especially since Mabel laughed, actually it was more of a semi-evil cackle.

"By the time you come back he'll only respond to Charlie!" she promised.

And despite the awful future she promised, you still smiled, wishing that future would come soon. At least your cat, Charcoal, would be happy with Mabel and not left to fend for himself. That cat wouldn’t last a day on the streets.

“It’s tomorrow, isn’t it?” Mabel suddenly asked, the light-hearted tone was gone, and though you could hear Charcoal hopping onto the table and purring as Mabel pet him it did little to ease your pain.

“Yeah, it all ends tomorrow,” your smile was just sad as you sank back into the chair as much as the phone cable allowed. You couldn’t even have that without tugging at the technology from a past era.

Mabel paused, but you knew what she would say before she even began speaking. “I should come,” she kept insisting, even if you argued against it.

“It’s not safe. Besides, you know what I want you to do,” you reminded her of the promise she vowed to break, even if you made her say the words. In her own words it wouldn’t be the first lie she had to utter.

“And you know I won’t do it,” she reminded you, but then she sighed and you could hear her burying her face in her hands, and you could picture her sitting at her new table, in a new, still unfamiliar apartment, away from everything happening here, her hair tied and messy, and her lower lip trembling slightly due to the emotions she tried to bottle up. “Did this have to happen?” she asked, and even though it was a rhetorical question you still answered.

“If I could do this all over again, I'd still make the same decisions,” those decisions led you to Mabel, led you to turning your life around, and to her finally finding a way out of the life she had before. You’d pay the price for her second chance, and maybe eventually you’d get your own second chance as well.

~X~ Eight months ago ~X~

Whoever decided that morning was the right time to start a day needs to be held responsible. And whoever decided that your cat needs to be fed at six in the morning also needs to be held responsible. “Come on Charcoal, I fed you last night, let me sleep a little longer,” you pleaded, seriously considering just never getting up again. An ashtray hitting the floor made you groan, which only prompted the black menace that snuck into your life to knock something else off the table. Judging by the heavy thud it was probably your notebook. “I’ll buy a table with raised edges, just to spite you,” you muttered under your breath and sat up like you were pulling the weight of the whole continent up with you.

You rubbed your eyes, trying to wake up as your body ached. Charcoal jumped from the table onto your lap and sat there, just looking at you with his sharp, alert eyes. “You’re too awake buddy,” you scratched his head with a tired smile, once again promising you would never sleep on the couch again. You were just too tired to reach your bedroom last night.

Stupid deals.

Stupid crimes you couldn’t pull out of anymore.

Charcoal purred and you figured, what the hell, he was comfortable on your lap, so surely, he wasn’t that hungry. You fell back on the couch and closed your eyes, hoping to go back to sleep, only for the damn black cat to hop from your lap onto your chest and tap you right on the chin.

You opened your eyes and looked at the ceiling. “Fuck,” you accepted your fate, picking the cat up and dragging yourself off the couch so you could go and feed the ungrateful, impatient, adorable, lovely cat that happened to be the boss of your life. “I’ll sue you, you know. Don’t know which court can find you guilty when you’re that cute, but I’ll find one,” you leaned back against the kitchen counter and watched as your one-year-old cat devoured his food.

Little glutton.

“Get up or go to sleep?” you wondered, glancing at the drawer where you kept your laptop, safely tucked away from your cat, because nothing in your apartment was safe from Charcoal unless it was under lock and key. Glasses? Plates? Anything breakable? Locked! Decorations? Almost nonexistent, aside from plastic ones that either didn’t break easily, or were easily replaceable. Other decorations? They were proven to be unable to resist Charcoal’s need to push them off whatever they were placed on, thus they had no place in your home. The number of TVs you had to either fix or replace because he’d scratched the screen was so high you no longer had the will to count.

You may be rich, but new TVs were not something you wanted to keep spending money on.

The thought of all those TVs drained you of what little energy you had this early in the morning and you headed toward your bedroom, with Charcoal, now fed, running after you. Work could wait, you needed sleep, and as you slipped under the covers with your cat choosing to spread on the bottom of the bed you figured that was the smartest decision you made in a while.

The heavy feeling that always came with big jobs made it difficult to sleep well, but Charcoal near you helped with that.

You still felt like you were missing something.

~X~

Around noon you walked into a almost empty bar near the edge of the city. Away from prying eyes, with just enough privacy to be acceptable for your job, but casual enough to pass it off as regular meeting between two law-abiding citizens. You came in early, about fifteen minutes before the scheduled meeting time. It was a habit you picked up along the way, wanting to be more careful of your surrounding and notice any potential problems before they could even happen.

Yet twenty-five minutes later you were annoyed and getting impatient. The woman you were supposed to meet with was nowhere to be found, hell, the only person that was on their own was a beautiful girl sitting in the corner. Despite her beauty you dismissed the girl, not really willing to get involved with anyone right now. Your life was a bit too messy for your liking, too tangled up in all the crime going on in the city to risk pulling an innocent woman into all of this. You noticed her right away, she couldn’t blend in even if she tried, she just stood out too much, drawing attention with her beauty and demeanor.

You glanced toward the girl again, noticing she was annoyed, frustrated even. As if she was waiting for someone.

‘No fucking way,’ you thought, nearly spilling your drink when the thought that she could be the person you were supposed to meet crossed your mind. She was too young! Well, that was rich coming from you, but your circumstances were different!

You approached her, a bit too hastily to your liking and she looked at you, cautious right from the start. And your heart sank, that cautiousness probably meant you were right. This was Mabel. But her eyes, there was just something in her eyes, serious, intense, dark eyes drawing you in, threatening to drown you in a sea of black. “Mabel?” you asked and those dark eyes widened slightly before she regained her composure.

“Y/N?” she was just as surprised as you were, definitely not expecting this. The two of you, close to same age, maybe even the same age. In this situation.

You nodded and then tilted your head toward the chair across from her. “May I?”

Mabel raised an eyebrow, as if she didn’t expect the question. She probably didn’t. She was here to meet with you, it was business; asking if you may sit was actually quite stupid, it was a given that you may sit, that this meeting would happen. Yet you asked, maybe out of some obligation, maybe subconsciously giving her a way out. “Not a question I expected from the daughter of one of the bosses,” she pointed out and you shrugged, silently waiting for her to allow you to sit down.

When she remained silent you smirked slightly. “I’m a vampire, you need to tell me I can sit before I can do it,” you joked and she snorted at that.

“Not how it works,” but she waved dismissively at the chair. “But sure, go ahead,” you couldn’t tell if she was amused or not, but you sat down.

“I come from a long line of vampires, I make my own rules,” you joked, making her roll her eyes.

“You come from a long line of criminals,” she huffed, suspicious, not trusting you one bit, which was fair, if you were being honest. You heard of a new girl, efficient, quick, bringing in money, even if she was still a small-time drug dealer mostly working with Weeks. You also heard she was dragged into this either by or because of her family, which would explain her disdain toward you. Born into privilege, choosing to continue the family tradition because it brought you money. You couldn’t blame her for thinking that.

“We suck people dry. Whether it’s blood or money we’re sucking hardly matters,” yet you kept joking. Though people do tend to believe there’s some truth in each joke.

Mabel raised her glass of wine, probably cheap, considering where the two of you were. “To vampires then,” you accepted, raising your own glass, filled with the first non-alcoholic drink you saw on the menu, happened to be some juice that you were yet to try.

“To vampires,” you agreed, not knowing this meeting would change the course of your life. You took a sip of the juice and immediately winced at how sweet it was. “I’m sorry it took me a bit to approach you,” you ignored the sweetness and regret over not getting literally anything else. “I didn’t think you were, well, you,” you admitted. “How old are you again?” you couldn’t stop yourself from asking.

She gave you a flat look, as if she was already tired of your bullshit. “Twenty-two,” she still answered, so she was the same age as you. “I didn’t figure out I was supposed to meet with you either, you look like you went for a run, not to talk about deals,” she pointed out, even if she herself was dressed rather casually.

You grinned a bit as you looked down at your choice of clothing, you really did look like you went for a run and stopped by to grab a drink on your way back home. “Better to look like I’m going for a run, than to catch someone’s attention and be on a run instead,” you pointed out, finally making Mabel crack a tiny smile.

“True,” she agreed, her smile spreading even as she tried to suppress it. Guarded and not willing to show even a hint of weakness or vulnerability in any way. Your parents would be proud if you had this kind of composure instead of making everything a joke. Well, jokes had their own advantages. Most of the time you seemed like you were so in control you could afford to mess around.

Yet her smile made your heart beat faster and you realized just how dangerous she could be if you didn’t play this right. “So, is everything going according to plan?” you asked, getting serious mostly out of some barely developed sense of self-preservation. Mabel nodded, confident, sure of herself, and you could physically feel the power balance shifting as she gained control.

She drank wine with smooth elegance, practiced ease, and with the glass still covering her lips she made her offer, all the while looking right into your eyes. “I can get it to you a week in advance if you pay extra.”

“I can pay you double if you deliver it tonight,” you countered, matching her gaze.

Mabel whistled. “Deal,” she agreed.

“Liar,” but you weren’t that naïve, or green, you’ve been dragged to these meeting for years before your parents made them your problem to deal with.

Mabel leaned back a bit, shrugging. “Worth a shot,” she figured and yeah, you supposed it was.

“Was it really? Staining our relationship with a lie right from the start is a bold move, Mabel,” yet she didn’t flinch.

“Expecting honor among thieves, Y/N?” she challenged you, not backing down for a single moment, and damn did you like that.

“I’m no ordinary thief,” you leaned forward. “I’m the thief in charge, and I don’t like being lied to,” her confidence wavered for a split second, before it returned with a smirk as she leaned in, almost too close, so close you could feel her breath tickling your skin and she stood up to close the distance further, putting her lips right next to your ear.

“True. You’re not in charge of me, though,” she whispered, and you felt a shiver run down your spine, but then she pulled away, taking a few steps away from the table. “We’ll fulfill our end of the deal, make sure you and your thieves pay on time.”

You heard her, but what really caught your attention was your drink that was now in her hand as she drank it, winked at you and left you with her wine and the bill.

“The fuck just happened,” you blinked a few times and then noticed the bill. “How the fuck do these guys have this wine?!” you exclaimed and could hear Mabel cackling in your head. How did you even figure she would cackle? Not that it mattered, what was this overpriced bullshit?! Did she order the most expensive wine the place had? “Damn, she’s good,” you leaned back against the chair, chuckling slightly to yourself, she got you good.

~X~

You entered your apartment, feeling tricked but somehow satisfied. Mabel’s actions were stuck in your head like an annoying song you couldn’t get rid of no matter how much you tried. “She really got me good,” you muttered to yourself as Charcoal hopped into your arms. “Hey there buddy! Did you make a mess while I was gone?” you asked, scratching the cat’s chin as he meowed and purred in your arms, and sure enough, there was quite a number of things knocked over. Pretty much anything that wasn’t locked up was on the floor. It wasn’t that many things, you learnt your lesson a long time ago, but it was still annoyingly endearing to see.

Some small plastic figures, a couple of notebooks, university guide you picked up a few years back, before your life’s path was decided for you. How did Charcoal even get it? Why wasn’t it stuck in the back of some drawer, never to be seen again until you had to clean it? Maybe Mark left it in your line of sight when he conducted a search of your apartment the last time? That was probably it.

Good old Mark, always trying to get you to turn your life around. “A life worth living,” he would often tell you while he and his partner questioned you at the station, trying to get you to crack under the pressure and the good cop bad cop dynamic because they had nothing definitive to prove your involvement.

“You’re awful, you know that?” you scolded the unbothered cat and figured you could clean the mess up tomorrow morning, after good night’s sleep. Perhaps morning would make your thoughts more coherent.

A/N: And here's a story I meant to write like a year ago. Taglist? Anyone?

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

@melodicwriter I'm borrowing your meme to start a tag post, hope that's okay! 😁

So, my writer friends...

What's a line/scene you've written that you're REALLY proud of?

(Doesn't have to be Shakespeare, just one that makes you feel like everything you've written to get to that point in the story is worth it 😄)

No pressure tags: @lifblogs @niobiumao3 @kybercrystals94 @archivewriter1ont @gonky-kong @indigofyrebird @fanfoolishness @ireadwithmyears @royallykt @apocalyp-tech-a and anyone else who wants to share!!!

*********

For me, the first one that comes to mind is a specific exchange between (Star Wars) Bad Batch's Hunter and Crosshair. Picturing this scene - and hitting on the last few sentences shared here (in bold) - is what convinced me to turn some of my post-season 3 finale Hunter headcanons into a full fanfic. (I'm including some of the initial dialogue from the scene for further context.)

“I wasn’t there for him.”

Crosshair spoke quietly, and Hunter almost flinched at the words – he could guess where this was going. “Crosshair, don’t…”

“I’m the sniper. I’m supposed to watch your backs. I wasn’t there to watch his.”

“His death was not your fault,” Hunter insisted.

“I… I know that now,” Crosshair said, briefly dropping his gaze before looking up again at the memorial, though now not seeming to really see it. “Even if I had been there to help you all find Hemlock, Tech might have died anyway. Still, I failed all of you. I’m trying to make up for it. Omega says Tech wanted us to live and be happy, so… I’m trying. I’m trying to live up to what he sacrificed himself for. But that doesn’t change the fact that I failed him, I wasn’t there for him, and now he’s gone, I can’t make it up to him, and I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

Crosshair was relating his own personal thoughts and feelings; yet it was as if he had reached into Hunter’s brain and pulled out all the darkest thoughts lurking there, giving them substance in words. But those thoughts shouldn’t belong to Crosshair, those words shouldn’t be coming from Crosshair’s mouth; that guilt was Hunter’s to own, and Hunter’s alone.

“Crosshair, I am – was – the sergeant. I’m supposed to lead. Protecting you all is my responsibility.”

“And you have,” the other replied, now looking Hunter square in the face. “You still do. You’re not watching just our backs, either – you’re… you’re everywhere all at once, all the time, protecting us. We’re going to make our own decisions, Hunter, and you couldn’t stop Tech from making his; but you were there for him all the time. You were there with him. And that matters.”

[defuckingthrone-dot-com]

Hi! So I’ve been into shy nerdy Noah lately. Can you please write a one shot about Noah who’s really shy and geeky like he’s never had any womanly contact before, but turn it into a smut

Nerdy Noah you say? I got you! (And I'm sorry this took entirely too long to post) I hope you like it!

Tag List: @bloody-spades @chey-h

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please go here.

Smut below the cut!

Noah had spent most of his life mastering playing video games but zero-time mastering women.

For being a tall boy that was heavily tattooed much less the singer of a very prominent hardcore band you would guess that what you couldn't see from his twitch streams how he adorns the other side of the wall with comic book and action figures

But that started to change after he met you. his neighbor.

You had both crossed paths once or twice, just casual good morning or good afternoons, but nothing more.

So, he was just as surprised when one day you knocked on his door.

"Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, I'm having trouble setting up my new tv on the wall, and I'm embarrassed to say that I didn't know who to call, I'm new here" you take a deep breath, "oh god I'm rambling. So would you be able to help me?"

There was no denying you thought he was handsome and the thought of having to ask for his help made you nervous but here you were.

"Yeah... yes. of course, no problem i will help you." he said a bit shy which was something you didn't expect all

Of course, you knew zero to nothing about it except for the fact that he lived next door to you.

With a smile you signaled him to follow you into your home. you showed him the living room where you had already unboxed the tv.

"Thank you once again for helping me, I don't know what I'm doing with this sort of thing," you said and gave him a sheepish smile.

All he could do was nod. You quickly realized that maybe he wasn't much of a talker as he got to work on setting up the tv on your wall.

You watched as he got to work and you tried to not ogle too much but something about him made your eyes be glued to him. His bright tattoos, his comically large hand. the way he focused on the task? you couldn't quite put your finger on it but there was something.

After about 40 minutes of you just staring at him while he worked, he finally finished.

"Uh, it's all done, tv is on the wall now, you can take a look" he said in quite possibly the smallest voice he could do. You find it a bit odd how he behaves. You would think that by the way he looks his confidence level would be out of this world, and he probably would have a line of girls waiting for his attention.

"It looks perfect thank you, i appreciate it so much, let me pay you for this, just let me grab m...." you started searching around for your wallet before he cut you off.

"Please don't. I don't. need to be paid.."

"Please? at least let me do something for you, i would feel horrible with you walking out of here and not getting nothing for your work"4

He just stared at you without saying anything.

The silence was making you a bit anxious, so you blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Your girlfriend must be very lucky to have you and be able to do things like this."

He chuckles so subtlety that you barely noticed "I don't have a girlfriend actually"

"No way, you're tall, handsome and tattooed" you say without thinking and watch as he begins to turn a bit red.

Your feet started moving involuntarily towards him and in a matter of seconds you were standing in front of him.

Once again, he stayed silent just looking down at you with the softest bobba eyes you had ever seen.

You don't know what came over you but you grabbed his hand and felt the smallest twitch from him.

"You seem nervous, are you okay?"

"No... I mean yes... i mean, I've just never really been with this close to a girl before" he says with a nervous laugh

" How close?" Now you're intrigued.

"Like this" he looks down at your hand grabbing his.

"Oh" you say but don't make even the slightest attempt to move your hand. The little devil on your shoulder whispered into your ear to make a proposition that even you wouldn't dare say out loud but something came over you that you couldn't resist. "Okay you haven been close or touched by another woman?" you make a small pause not really expecting an answer. "Do you want to change that? I could help you out if you would like"

You could see the wheels turning inside his hand and before he could turn you down you started speaking again

“Ok I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.. i don't know what came over me” you nervously laugh

“Yes i want you to help me” he blurted out before you could continue

“You do? Okay yes i can do that” you guided him over to the sofa where you had him sit down and without a second thought you straddled him. “Is this okay?” you wanted to make sure that he was okay

He nodded quickly. “Please tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable” he nodded once more.

You started to let your hand roam, first up his tattooed arms, next down over his clothed chest. He made no move so you decided to make the initiative and grab his hand to place it directly on your ass. 

“It's okay Noah, you can touch me too.” he nodded and with the smallest movement he squeezed on tenderly. 

Your left hand found the hem of his shirt and tugged on it. “Can I take this off?” you asked in your sweetest voice.

“ye.. yes…” 

You fisted the hem of the shirt in your hand and raised it to pull it over his hand once it was off you threw it to the floor behind you.

As you looked down at his chest you started to trace all the intricate ink adorn it. “I love your tattoos, they look so good on you”

“Thank you, i love getting tattooed, my best friend is a tattoo artist and he has done most of them, if you want one i could let him know..” 

You chuckled at his response.

“i'm sorry i tend to yap when im nervous.” he says apologetically

“Don't be, I think it's cute.” you said, leaning into him, lips just inches from his. 

Hands still roaming you decided that for now you would leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth and leave a trail down from mouth to his jaw, down his neck and moving down his chest. 

You were now down on your knees in between his legs looking up to him. without breaking contact you unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. You could feel the shivers he was getting. 

“Do you want me to stop Noah?” you asked once more to make sure he was really okay.

“¡No!” he blurted so fast. 

That's all you need to hear, you grabbed onto the waistband off his boxers and pulled it down to free his now throbbing cock. Pink at the tip and veins running down to the base,

This time you decided not to ask and moved your hand to touch it and with small up and down motions you started to stroke it. 

A smirk grew on your face as you saw Noah's eyes roll back.

“Does it feel good Noah? Do you want more?” 

“It feels so good oh god” he threw his head back “Please more”

You saw a few beads of precum on his tip and used it as lubrication to move up and down a bit faster. 

You moved your head down so your lips could meet the tip.You gave a quick lip while maintaining eye contact with.

“Will you be a good boy for me Noah? Will cum in my mouth?” Hearing yourself saying it outloud shocked you a bit , you never been like this with anyone else but the feeling of dominating Noah and teaching him new things had you on a high.

“Yes, I'll be a good boy! yes..” he said with heavy breathing.

With that you went to town. You grabbed his cock at the base and brought the tip up to your mouth again. You licked once, twice before you fully opened your mouth and put it in. You started slow at first, moving your head up and down and licking all around. 

As the minutes passed you started to set a faster pace, now going down past the tip and to the middle almost reaching the base. You moved your hand that was at the base in unison with your mouth and moved it along up and down. 

You can feel Noah starting to shake and if it wasn't for all of your senses being heighting you would have heard him saying he wouldn't last much longer.

With your free hand you gripped at his thigh which still had his pants midway. as you make sure now to reach the base of his cock with your mouth. One small gagging sound you were knowing hitting his pubic hair with your nose.

A few head bobs later you felt the string of cum hitting the back of your throat, slowing down the motion off your head you detached and made a swallow sound, your hand grabbing on to him once more to give him a few last strokes. 

“Wow, that was…incredible…” he said in his shy voice again “no women has ever touched me or like this” he said turning red again

You chuckled while whipping your mouth  and said “Yeah? Maybe i can help you out more often, we can make it into a few lessons” you finish with a wink

“I'd like that…yes!” he said without hesitation while buttoning his jeans again. 

[highly-flammable]

What do you think Peeta is trying to say with the if I can grows wings I could fly after Katniss says it is good if he can start to identity the shiny memories as then he can figure out what is true? He then says mockingjays need wings to survive when she says real people don’t

This scene is a very subtle and tentative display of compassion between the characters.

Peeta at this point is starting to sort out some of his memories, but bear in mind that all he can do is separate the shiny ones from the ones that are not shiny. He cannot actually recover the memories which have been already tampered with, at least not by himself, and even if he is shown footage of those moments and told that the truth is different from what it feels like to him, the emotional consequences of his hijacking are still not wholly removed. All of this is to say that his mental state is extremely confused.

Katniss is trying to comfort him by offering him a simple solution, but his situation is actually not simple, and that is why he uses quiet sarcasm here. It’s like this, “Yeah, I can just sort out of the memories and learn what is true, the same way I can just grow wings and fly.” He is not being unkind towards her, but rather bleakly pointing out how unlikely it is that he will ever be able to fully understand and internalize what was true and what was not.

In response, Katniss gently tells him that people don’t need wings to survive. With this line she acknowledges that he is right and the task she spoke of like it was so simple might be impossible for Peeta, and he doesn’t have to do anything impossible to survive. It is okay that his perception of reality is a mess, it is okay that he is damaged, he can still live. (By the way, this is a big piece of development in their relationship, because as far as I remember this is the first time Katniss has been able to voice her acceptance for hijacked Peeta. This is her letting go of the near-perfect image of the old, resilient, strong Peeta, and acknowledging that Peeta is not gone, only changed, and whoever he is now, that is okay with her.)

But this kind of grace is hardly ever extended to Katniss herself. She had been turned into a symbol of revolution before she even knew it, and then she was paraded around, made to look like an inspiration and source of strength, pressured into compliance, even when she was traumatized and afraid and grieving. It is a deadly game for Katniss, with no out. She can either be the Mockingjay, or she will be destroyed.

Haunted, broken Peeta, even though he had been programmed to hate and fear her, has come to understand some of this as he tries to work out who Katniss truly is. This is perhaps especially because Coin has sent him to join Katniss’ squad. Confused as Peeta is, he is smart and likely has worked it out (especially after the psychotic break when he tried to kill Katniss roughly a day ago) that Coin actually wants her dead. He and the rest of the squad have also figured out that Katniss is lying about the mission for Snow’s assassination being sanctioned by Coin, that it is actually her personal mission. They understand, or at the very least Peeta understands, that this means Katniss knows her situation is dangerous enough that she cannot go back to anyone who can then hand her over to Coin. She feels like she herself has to end this and buy her freedom and safety through that Herculean feat. All in all, Katniss is immensely burdened. She cannot afford to be her authentic, flawed self, to be afraid or weak. She has to be a symbol of strength and hope, even now. To choose otherwise is to choose death or some other form of annihilation.

This understanding is why Peeta says, “Mockingjays do (need wings to survive)”. He cannot offer her the comfort that just being who she truly is, is going to be enough for her survival. But he can acknowledge what a difficult situation she is in.

By the way, after this exchange is the first time Katniss voluntarily touches Peeta to soothe him since his hijacking. And Peeta feels safe enough with her that he lets her.

[rosenclaws]

Missing Piece || Leopold Mountbatten x Reader

summary: Leopold has come back from his time travel adventure heartbroken and unable to see who was right in front of him all this time.

warnings: gn!reader, leopold's uncle is a bitch lmao, Leopold gets slapped once like in the movie, angst, happy ending, very bad attempt at a Victorian accent.

wc: 2.8k

a/n: LEOPOLDDDD. Okay I've been in such a Leopold mood and I wanted to write something and I remembered this idea from a while ago and I finally sat down and wrote it. I apologize for the shitty British accent attempts I don't have the energy to try to be historically accurate. Anyways I hope u enjoy our victorian pretty boy <3 I hope it makes sort of sense I'm a little iffy about my writing rn

He's doing it again. Staring out the window with this, love sick look on his face. Ever since the party his uncle threw Leopold has been off. You knew he had been dreading it since his Uncle was practically forcing him to marry, but somehow Leopold changed his mind and he has another year until he must finally settle down. ou thought he'd be happier but he just looks sad.

That night you found him staring at the sky. You were just to bring him an evening snack but he wasn't feeling very hungry. He looked at you with those, beautiful green eyes of his and weaved the most outlandish story you had ever heard.

That he time traveled 200 years into the future. There were buildings that touched the sky and strange machines that could do the unthinkable. There was this look in his eyes. One of loss. Cautiously you stepped out of your servant role for a moment and asked. Placing your hand on his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I fell in love..." He stated plainly and you had to pretend like he didn't just destroy your soul with four words. Pretend like you weren't in love with him and had been for years. You smiled as he told you about her. Kate. She sounded, amazing. She was strong and commanding. The more Leopold talked about her the more you could see in his eyes just how much he missed her.

"I loved her. I asked her to run away with me. But she said no." His lips formed a tight smile. He glanced down at your hand which was still resting on his arm and you quickly pull back.

"My apologies." You bowed as you backed away from him. He looks as if he wishes to reach out but a knock at the door interrupts. His Uncle comes barging through.

"What are you still doing in here?" He asked looking at you with narrowed eyes.

"Nothing my lord." You bowed your head.

"Go fetch me a cup of tea." He shooed you away without a second thought and you listened because you were just a servant and that's all you'd ever be.

Tears in your eyes as you headed down to the kitchen to fix Lord Mountbatten his tea. Thank goodness it's quiet as the only thing that can be heard is your sniffles.

"Are you alright my dear?" You wiped your eyes to see Otis standing at the door.

"Yes of course." He gives you a look and your shoulders sag. He walks over and takes the tea cup from your hand.

"It's silly Otis really, I'll be alright." You smile as you try and take the tea back but he doesn't let you.

"You know, I remember the day you were hired here. You were so nervous and almost tipped over a very expensive looking vase in the foyer." You winced at the memory.

The Mountbatten estate was huge and you had never seen so many expensive things all together. You had knocked back into a vase and it would have fallen and crashed to the floor if not for Leopold. He saved it and instead of scolding you he just laughed.

"You may be fooling everyone else my dear, but your eyes that day could never lie." Otis saw the lovestruck look in your eyes at once.

"Now, I will take this upstairs, you get to bed."

"Leopold treats us so well Otis, sometimes I forget that I'm nothing but a servant." You whispered, ignoring the sad look in Otis's eyes as you walk back to your bed.

You vowed that day to never forget it again. You were hopelessly in love with him and had been since the day you let. But Leopold was a Duke. He was expected to marry someone rich and bring fortune to both families. You stood by the side and served drinks.

In all your time Leopold had never shown interest in anyone. A few failed attempts at courting but nothing ever lasted. Perhaps that was the reason you let your mind dream such idiotic dreams. Leopold treated you as his equal, he was warm and kind. You thought that maybe, just maybe he could be yours. But that's nothing but a silly thought now.

You put distance between you and Leopold, choosing to take care of the chores instead to keep busy. Unfortunately tonight, you were the only one left to serve him his tea and you couldn't say no.

"My grace, I have your tea." You say softly as you place two fine china teacup by the table near his window. It was odd he asked for two but perhaps he was extra thirsty. He's standing with his hands behind his back. Watching the lights of the city.

"She had this balcony you know, we'd sit and watch her neighbors." He sighed.

Leopold missed Kate. But he also missed Charlie and Stuart too. To be introduced to that magical world and be forced to go home. It was a tough pill to swallow. You don't respond as you place down the milk and sugar next to it.

"Is there anything else my grace?" You ask quietly.

"Yes, would you care to join me?" He gestures to an empty chair. You're hesitant to sit but you could never say no to this man. You sit quietly as he sips his tea.

"My Uncle is fast asleep by now, you do not have to worry about him."

"It's not that your grace." You say quickly. The truth is you can barely stand being so close to him right now. Just seeing him hurt your heart. To see him so in love with another.

"I've told you many times to call me Leopold." He furrows his brows as you shrug him off. He sets down his tea and turns his full attention towards you.

"Have I done something wrong? I've noticed you have been avoiding me." You almost choke on your tea. You didn't think he even paid attention to that.

"No my grace." He gives" you look and you correct yourself.

"Leopold. I've simply been busy." Leopold doesn't believe you fully but he does not press.

"I think you would have liked this future world." He says, looking out the window. The view is nothing compared to New York two hundred years from now. He missed the bright lights and the city that never appeared to rest.

"Oh yes, a place where my job is replaced by unearthly contraptions." You say with the hint of a smile. He spoke of one that cleaned dishes and a tiny machine that could send your voice anywhere in the world.

"Perhaps it does, but that just means you could do something more. Something amazing."

"Leopold I do not think I am the person to do anything amazing." You dismiss him. He has big dreams and a brilliant mind. Leopold was destined to be more. You were not.

"Do not say that. You are more than what you think you are. I mean it." He places a hand on yours and you flinch. His hand is so warm. It sends shivers through your whole body. You quickly pull your hand back. Holding to close to your chest.

"May I ask you something Leopold?"

"Of course."

"Do you still love her? Kate I mean." His face turns sad as his head falls.

"She made her choice and it was not me. I respect that." Honestly he's unsure about his feelings.

Perhaps they were real, or maybe it was just the rush of emotions from being thrust into such a strange situation. There was no doubt she was a beautiful woman but in hindsight, the two of them were never meant to be.

"She was unlike anyone I have ever met. Headstrong, focused, successful." Everything you are not you think to yourself.

"To uproot her whole life, it was unfair of me to ask." He says as stares out the window. But does he still love her? The way his eyes sparkle when he speaks of her, you wish he saw you that way. For him to pick you over his suitors, to forget his duty and love you.

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason." You notice his cup is empty and you take the chance to leave. Wishing to be far away from the man you love so desperately right now.

"Thank you for the tea Leopold, but I must be going now." As you stand he reaches for your wrist, his hand curling around it firmly.

"Promise me my dear, that if I have insulted you in someway you will tell me." He whispers. Leopold has felt you pull away and it's confusing him. You were always the one he'd seek for comfort besides Otis. You were his age and understood his longing for more than just fancy parties with boring people. He never cared about status or money. He just wished for good company.

"Leopold I..." You turn to face him, he's so close. He smells like lavender and you close your eyes as the scent fills your nose. Tell him. Just tell him. Your mind screams at you to just let it all out.

"Yes?" He whispers back. His voice sending shivers down your spine.

"I love you." You confess. You wait for a response but it never comes. He lets go of you and takes a step back, eyes wide as he stares at you.

"Leopold please, say something." You beg with tears in your eyes. You reach for him but a voice stops you.

"What on Earth!" You jump back at the sound of his Uncle's voice. Eyes wide as you put as much difference between yourself and Leopold.

"Leopold!" His uncle stomps over and Leopold sees the fear in your eyes. He's still stunned by your confession but seems to act on instinct. He stands in front of you without hesitation, blocking you from his Uncle's angry gaze. You gasp as he slaps Leopold across the face.

"What have I told you about this? You are a Duke and you need to act like it." He grabs Leopold by the collar and drags him out of the room, leaving you shocked. You clean up the tea cups and hurry to your sleep quarters. Otis is sitting by his door, reading a book when you come rushing down.

"I cannot do this anymore Otis." You cry as you collapse at his feet.

"What do you mean?" Otis lets you cry on his leg as he offers you comforting words. He was always like a father to you.

"My heart, it belongs to him but he loves her." You stand to your feet as you wipe your eyes.

"And his Uncle. Forgive me for speaking ill of the man of the house but he is horrid. Only caring for wealth and nothing more." You start to pace back and forth as you vent your emotions out.

"I love him Otis, You are right I've been in love with him since the day I met him. I told him tonight and he said nothing. Not a word." You wipe your eyes as you sigh in defeat.

"Give him time dear." Otis says as he stands up, giving you comforting hug.

"He loves another Otis. It's clear as day and I could never compare." You say sadly.

"Perhaps, it's time for me to move on." You couldn't stay here anymore.

Being around Leopold, you could never move on if you worked for him. Every day you feel the ache in your heart, the longing to be with him overpowers everything else in your mind. You love him. So much. But he doesn't feel the same and therefore you must go to protect your own heart. Maybe one day you could return, but truthfully you do not think that was possible.

You cannot see another marry Leopold. You cannot see them live the life you dreamed of. So you must leave.

You spend the night packing your things and writing two letters. One of your resignation and another for Leopold. To tell him you are sorry and explain why you're leaving. You hope he understands. That next morning you handed your resignation to Millard Mountbatten and gave Otis the letter to deliver to Leopold. With one last look back you set off in search of a new home.

Given your past experience, finding another servant job does not take too long. They're a nice family and they treat you kindly but in your heart you still miss Leopold. You keep in contact with Otis, sending him letters every now and then but you never ask about Leopold. Not wanting to know if he's found another to marry. If he even misses you.

A loud knock at the door echoes through the manor of your new employers. They were out for the day meaning it was just you. You open the door, ready to shoo away the visitor. That is until you look to see who it is.

"Leopold?" You ask in disbelief. He looks, unkept. His hair is messy and there's bags under his eyes.

"You're really here, oh thank goodness." He steps inside and you close the door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" You ask as he runs his hands through his hair.

"How could you leave me?" He holds out the letter you wrote him.

It was like his world came crashing down when Otis handed him that letter. He ran to your bedroom but your things were already gone. He confronted his uncle he just shrugged and said they'd hire someone new. It filled him with rage hearing how little his uncle cared about you. Your absence, it left a bigger hole in his heart than he ever felt. Not even when he was forced to return to his time period. He missed Kate yes, but he missed the time. The life that she lived. Losing her and Charlie and Stuart were losing close friends.

But knowing you were gone, it hurt him down to his core. He searched for you, going to every neighbor to find you but nothing. Until Otis came to him one night and asked him one simple question.

Do you love them?

It took Leopold all of ten minutes to decide where his heart truly lied and it was never with Kate, it was always you. Your confession shocked him to his core. All this time how could he be so blind. He wanted to say more but his uncle ruined the moment.

"I apologize my grace..."

"Enough! Enough with the formality. I may have been born a duke but I could care less about my status." He drops the letter and slowly walks towards you. You back up until you hit the door. You're afraid to even breathe, wondering if this was some dream.

"My heart belongs to you my love. It always has."

"What about Kate? Your...adventures?" You ask. You want to give in, ignore the doubts that swirl in your head.

"I was so swept up in all that insanity that I thought I felt something for her. She's a friend yes but we would never have worked."

"It was hard to see you so heartbroken, I thought you loved her. That you could never love me." You whisper and Leopold cups your face in his hands.

"And I will spend every day of my life making it up to you." His thumb brushes over your lips. Goodness is he handsome.

"You've always been there for me and I am truly a fool for never seeing what was clearly there." He tilts your head up and kisses you. His lips are soft and his hands slide down from your face to your waist. Pulling you closer to him.

"I love you Leopold," You gasp as he pulls away. His lips finding the edge of your lips. Kissing all over your face.

"I love you too." He mumbles.

"What about your uncle?" The worry comes back but Leopold kisses you again to silence it.

"Forget him. I refuse to let him control my life anymore. If I wish to marry you then I will. I don't care what he says." Your heart flutters at the mention of marriage.

"You wish to marry me?" He smiles pulls you closer in his arms.

"Of course I do." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gorgeous ring.

"This was my mothers. I've kept it locked away for a long time, dreading the day I had to place it on the hand of someone I never loved." He takes your hand and slides the ring onto your finger.

"Perfect." He holds it up to the sunlight and it shines.

"Now, will you come home?" You nod.

This would be hard to explain to your new employers but you could care less. Hand in hand with your new lover. The man you've been dreaming of. You finally have him and nothing was going to get in your way again. Not time travel or his uncle.

Just the two of you taking a leap of faith into the unknown.

[apollabarnes]

part one // part two // part three // part four // part five // part six // part seven // part eight // part nine // part ten // part eleven // part twelve // part thirteen // part fourteen

tommy finds a spot on the second level of the parking garage and checks the clock. it's been four minutes since he dropped evan off at emergency. he drops his forehead to the steering wheel and breathes in deep, shuddering as he exhales through his nose. he almost lost his job today. he almost lost his team today. never mind that they haven't worked together in almost a decade, they're still his. it could have been so much worse.

he feels terrible for being grateful that evan got caught on the other side of the safety doors. he has no idea what he would have done if athena had called him and all of them had been inside, but it would have been… worse isn't the word. reckless, maybe.

tommy texts sal, tells him everyone's okay but the 118 had a bad call and it almost went wrong before gathering up the trays of drinks and pastries. it's been six minutes since he dropped evan off.

athena's text says that they're on the third floor. he should be able to make it before ten minutes is up.

evan's sitting at the end of a row of chairs, the same as he was when they were waiting for denny. athena's two seats down from him. tommy eyes the empty seat between them, gives evan a look and arches an eyebrow at athena. lucy's right, they are just like each other. he should have expected this would happen.

he spins on his heel and starts with karen, handing her a drink. "really hope you haven't changed your order in the last seven years," he murmurs quietly, not wanting to break the quiet atmosphere of the waiting room.

"i'll get the occasional seasonal flavour, but no," she reassures him, looking over his shoulder briefly. "what's that about?"

"firing squad. if they're still at in half an hour send help," tommy says ruefully. "you want a bear claw?"

lucy laughs at him when he hands her coffee off, taking the jelly filled doughnut he ordered just for her. "i'll say nice things at your funeral," she offers.

"dirty pool," he accuses.

he's not even sure that maddie realizes it's him handing her a drink, and normally tommy would be offended but this time he's just glad that he can hand off a chocolate croissant and escape.

since he's escaping to evan and athena he might prefer getting grilled by maddie buckley-han. he folds himself into the chair between them, handing them their drinks and taking his own before stashing the tray under his chair. evan opens his mouth and tommy shakes his head, handing him a sprinkle doughnut.

"let me eat my doughnut before you restart the inquisition," he says, offering the box to athena. "honey crueller?"

"you remembered," she says, and it feels like —

"i asked you five questions," evan butts in, and tommy laughs.

"buck, let the man eat his doughnut," athena says firmly.

tommy feels the tension start to drain out of his shoulders. he takes a bite out of his fritter. taps his foot against evan's and relaxes enough that their knees knock together briefly. "what are the docs saying about everyone?"

"ravi's got to stay overnight for concussion protocols, hen's in for a few days to make sure that her emergency surgery doesn't get infected, chimney's in for a week while they transfuse blood and make sure he's not going to…" athena waves her hand and tommy nods, able to fill in the blanks. "bobby's going for x-rays and an mri and we'll see if he needs surgery. obvious cracked ribs, but it's not much you can do for that."

"and i'm fine. no one asked," evan grumbles.

tommy looks over at him, his eyes softening. "i'm relieved," he says quietly. guilt over the fact that he and evan are able to sit next to each other while everyone else is still waiting to get the okay to go in and see their family tries to eat away at him, but athena notices and flicks his arm.

"don't start, tommy."

"yes ma'am."

"i missed something," evan says, looking between them curiously.

"she's bossing me around."

"is she allowed to do that?"

"he hasn't told me to stop yet."

"wait, was that an option?"