#i hope this makes sense I just woke up

[schizosupport]

hi glitch! no pressure about answering, but I don't have any other schizospec people I can talk to, and I need some support

recently I got diagnosed with Other Specified Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorder/Psychotic Disorder, and I'm starting weekly therapy to get a specific diagnosis and treatment, and I have an evaluation with a psychiatrist to look at meds next week.

the thing is, I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. I've gone through my whole life up to this point trusting my sense of reality, and only had a brief period of time when I self diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (never confirmed).

AND I've started to look into medication, and the one i'll probably be prescribed is Ablify, which seems to have a ton of scary side effects. I'm still in school, and while I'm almost certain I can get accommodations, I can't be sure, and adolescents can be cruel.

truth be told, I'm just scared. I see posts about the opportunities taken away from schizospec people, and I haven't been living under a rock, I know all the stigma that surrounds what I know now to be my community.

like I said, no pressure to answer, I just want some advice and support from a more experienced member of the community.

Hello there!

It's been a while since you sent this message. I hope you are feeling at least a bit more settled in the situation?

It's always wild to get a diagnosis that you didn't necessarily expect. For me, my initial "psychosis not otherwise specified" diagnosis also completely blindsided me, and so did the later schizophrenia diagnosis.

It's true that there's a lot of stigma and bullshit surrounding the schizo spec disorders, but I also want to highlight that schizo spec people are awesome, and we're strong and we got each other's backs. In my experience the psychotics and schizos are the underdogs of not only the psychiatric community but also the mental health community. But that also means that you get a unique opportunity to learn who's a true ally, and to practice your own understanding and acceptance of other marginalized experiences on the edges of life. In my experience our community is one of the most compassionate and accepting communities around, probably bc we know intimately what it's like to have weird experiences and be judged for it. Try to navigate towards a place in your head where you align yourself with other marginalized people and don't get caught up in bitterness about a uniquely fucked situation, but instead take it as a sign to be kind above all else and to think about who else in society might be in a similar position, to find your allies and take comfort in unity.

In terms of the stigma, I think something to keep in mind as a newly diagnosed person, is that to the extent that it's possible, you are the owner of the information about your mental health. And you don't owe anyone disclosure. I'm not saying to necessarily always try to be vague, there ARE safe places and safe people and there ARE situations where you might genuinely broaden someone's horizons by introducing them to the notion that "we are here. We're one of you". But there are also plenty of situations where you don't wanna share that information. You can let them assume, you can omit, you can even lie.

People frequently assume that I'm autistic, and I don't correct them. Maybe I'll respond with "something like that" if they ask. Especially in professional settings. Unless you want someone to know, it's none of their business what exactly is your deal.

In terms of medication, the important thing to keep in mind is that it helps some people, but it is also not (shouldn't be) mandatory to take meds because you're schizo spec. You can give it a try, but if it isn't doing anything helpful for you, you are not obligated to take it. The psych might act like you have to and like it would be completely irresponsible not to. Try to take it with a grain of salt. Think about your life so far, the symptoms that have led to this diagnosis. Can you live with that? Do the meds help with that? Are there side effects and are thet worth it?

I take a low dose of antipsychotics myself and I've tried without and with higher doses too. For me at this point in life, a low dose of antipsychotics are helpful to me.

I'm happy to hear that you've been offered therapy!! I hope that it's any good, and that it's been helpful. I definitely think that therapy (with a good therapist) can be instrumental in dealing with psychotic symptoms.

In the end I just wanna say.. it's gonna be ok. I know it's a big scary new thing, but it is also actually "just" a word that's descriptive of symptoms that you already had. This doesn't mean that you are bound to get worse. Try not to panic about looking for new symptoms or symptoms you might've missed. This can make you worse, as you start questioning all of your experiences and whether they are psychotic. It can be little things like questioning every little sensory input. Try to remember that hallucinations aren't inherently harmful and sometimes you don't have to know if it's real or not bc it literally doesn't matter.

It can often be tumultuous when you've just gotten this diagnosis, before you get used to the thought and reestablish your sense of identity and reality with this in mind. But there is a point of peace coming up. It does normally get easier, as you settle into this new understanding. And you can help yourself along by reminding yourself that the only thing that changed is that you were given a word to describe your existing experience.

I hope any of this is helpful. Best of luck, anon,, and welcome to (knowingly being a member of) the community!

[cousinshipper]

I was looking at your rentry with the emoji combos and I was wondering what the “underage” one meant. Is it like two underage characters or is there something more to it? Sorry I am an overanalyzer and overthinker to the fullest 😭

(when used on a blog) means someone who enjoys underage ships or (when used in a fanfiction or smthn) means there's underage ships in the fic!! ^_^

[wc-confessions]

(hawkash anon) i think im starting to get it. one more thing that confuses me is i see a lot proshippers say similar things about their bad ships where they say they don't condone it & acknowledge it's bad but think the ship dynamics are interesting and that's why they draw it or make fanfic of it. what would make acknowledging hawkash's actions different from those certain proshippers? also im not trying to argue im autistic and a lot of things have to be spelled out for me and i say stuff bluntly ;~;

the main difference is their approach to it. if they really acknowledged that their first instance wouldnt be to endorse or create smut of these characters and romanticize the toxicity involved. a proshipper will convince you bc they know its bad its fine, its common for them to say that, but what determines if they handle it wrong is how they treat it.

normal people wouldnt just do that basically if they acknowledged it was bad. ive never seen proshippers respond to the ship the same way as a normal person would. if you feel like someones interaction with ot crosses a certain line youll recognize it.

"these two guys suck but theyre interesting bad guys i wanna make silly fan art" ≠ "these two guys suck and im going to focus on the abuse in their relationship and make nsfw/suggestive content bc i think its hot"

[syzygyblvd]

I think the biggest thing is How these tropes are approached. obviously nothing wrong with a bi character who's poly, or who was many exes, or whos in a toxic relationship, so on and so forth. all of these are actually quite realistic scenarios. but it's the reason Why we put our characters through these scenarios that makes it good or bad. Your bi character is polyamorous because you think it'll be good representation or because you think it'll just fit the character? Hell yeah sounds good! Making your bisexual character polyamorous (or a cheater by making it so they don't communicate with their partner before going to someone else) because it's part of the story to show exactly how much of a slut said bi character is? Less realistic, encourages stereotypes, and is not the best bisexual representation. Be realistic, but just think as to WHY you are making the storytelling choices you are.

Hey you know what's super funny about the idea of "good bi rep"?

For a character to be canonically bi you have to make sure and establish that they're attracted to multiple genders. Not all mediums allow you to get inside every character's head or show what they're thinking. Flirting can be read ambiguously, and god forbid they flirt with a character who's not into them and be read as pushy or predatory. So it can be super handy to just mention an ex or two! But you better not mention too many exes because that would make them a slutty bisexual which is (checks notes) bad, and you definitely better be careful about making them poly, because that might make them, uh... greedy. Oh, and those exes? They better be perfectly amiable breakups with no conflict or drama, because it's bad to represent queer people in toxic or abusive relationships (especially queer women! very bad), and you definitely can't have them have lost a partner if the partner was queer because that's "bury your gays..." You should probably also eliminate all trauma from their backstory, just to be safe. You should probably also make sure they're not involved in crime, deception, or anything of the sort, because that would make them "deviant" and a stereotype.

But don't worry! Once you've carefully crafted your nice, monogamous, experienced-but-not-too-experienced Lawful Good bi character, you will be rewarded with your audience deeming them "boring" and quickly passing them over for other characters. :)

[housewifebuck]

Hi! I saw your beer post and i love it but i also dont get like in the first pic buck is drinking from a green bottle and the ones that eddie keeps on his freezer are not the same and then the one buck is drinking on his house is also different i think? Am i missing smth?

HI so in the original post they’re at bucks apartment drinking two separate types of beer. And in the addition, Eddie has another type of beer stocked in his fridge, which is the same as what Buck has at his apartment in the next episode (and possibly on other occasions that I haven’t noticed). This beer is different than the two they were drinking in the original post.

[imaredshirt]

Give me a Stan who thinks Fiddleford doesn't know how to throw a punch, much less defend himself in a fight with your average goon, so one morning he takes it upon himself to show the nerd a few basic jabs and hooks and maybe an uppercut or two behind the cabin, because let's face it, there's gonna be a time when Stan can't be there to take a hit for the guy or defend his nerd butt. So he's gonna teach him some stuff for his own peace of mind.

Fiddleford just kind of genially goes along with it, following Stan around the back of the cabin and watching with hands on his hips and a smile as Stan gets into position.

"This is one of the most basic punches in the world, so pay attention, 'cause I'm not gonna show you again," Stan says, knees slightly bent and fists up.

Fidds nods. "You've got my full attention, Stanley."

Stan isn't sure if he's imagining the way Fidds is eyeing him up and down, but he automatically flexes his arms a little more than he needs to. Up ahead, Ford is sitting on a tree stump and taking samples of the air or something (Stan had stopped listening to Ford's explanation once his words went from interesting to Big Science Shit that Stanley Does NOT Care About) and he's watching them with this amused grin, rolling his eyes skyward when Stan won't stop flexing and showing his arms off.

Stan ignores him and rolls his shoulders before jabbing his fists forward in a quick one-two. "There - you catch that?"

Fidds has got his arms crossed now and gives Stan a thumbs up. "Sure did!"

"See, just like this," Stan says, and shows him again despite saying earlier that he wouldn't.

He shows him a few more punches, going over each one a couple times before telling the engineer to mirror him, even getting in close to adjust the guy's scrawny arms and balled fists. He's being real professional about it and everything and doesn't understand why Ford keeps grinning and shaking his head at them, which is making him a little incensed but he stamps it down because Fidds is watching him with this nerdy, dopey smile while letting himself be maneuvered around and he's gotta learn to defend himself 'cause Stan can't stand the thought of some jerkwad wiping that smile off the nerd's face.

"See," he says near the end of the lesson, tapping his fist right against Fidds’s chin. "Do it right and your fist'll hit right here."

Fidds tilts his head a fraction at the touch. "Well alright then, seems easy enough."

"Yeah, like I said, if you do it right. Gimme your hand-" he takes Fidds’s wrist and taps the guy's balled fist against his own stubbly jaw. "Right here. You got that?"

Fidds nods. "Sure do!"

"Good." Stan drops Fidds’s wrist and gets into position again. "Then come on - lay one on me."

Fidds pulls back and blinks at him. "Come again?"

"Hit me!" Stan taps his jaw. "Right here!"

The guy suddenly looks nervous and galnces over at Ford for help. "Hit you? Stanley, I don't think-"

This is what Stan means. Fidds isn't always gonna be able to look to him or Ford to save him. He gets this weird, uncomfortable feeling in his chest at the thought of Fidds facing off against some asshat on his own, and that alone is enough to keep him from letting the guys off easy, if only to get rid of the weird feeling. Maybe a bit selfish but he doesn't care.

"Ah, come on, one little punch ain't gonna hurt ya, Fidds."

"I'm not worried about me," Fidds says, and then frowns when Stan barks a laugh.

"You think you're gonna hurt ME?"

Fidds is still frowning when Ford calls over in an amused, warning tone, "This is not a good idea, Stanely!"

"Just worry about your air test or whatever and leave us alone," Stan calls back. Ford shrugs and scribbles something in his journal, and when Stan turns back to Fidds, Fidds is finally getting into position.

He looks unsure, watching Stan nervously as Stan stands before him with his arms crossed.

"Hey, not bad form - you ready?"

"Well, I suppose so," Fidds says, accent coming in a little thicker than before. "Stan, if you're sure, I should probably warn ya-"

"Don't tell me nothing, just punch me!"

Fidds presses his lips into a line and throws his fist - and jabs Stan on the chin just hard enough to tilt Stan's head half an inch to the side.

"That's it?" Stan guffaws and shakes his head. "That was barely a tap!"

"I don't wanna hurt ya!" Fidds says, sounding so conflicted that Stan gets this urge to pull him into a headlock and ruffle his hair and drive the worry away.

Instead he riles him up.

"Please," he says. "Fidds, look - one of these days I'm not gonna be there to take a hit for you, and then what're you gonna do? Just let some jerk punch ya around?"

Fidds looks slightly perplexed. "Where is this all comin from? No, Stanley, I am NOT gonna just let some jerk punch me around."

"Good! So you gotta learn to defend yourself!" Fidds still looks unsure, so Stan tries a different angle. "Okay, how 'bout this - what if some jerks are beating up on me and Ford, huh? You're just gonna let em?"

Fidds looks up. "What? No, I am not!"

"You're gonna defend us?"

"Dangnabbit, Stan - of course I am!"

"Not gonna let us get our teeth kicked out?"

"What!? No!"

"Then show me!" Stan slaps a hand against his own chin. "Right here, come on! I'm some jerk who just threw your friend Stan to the ground and I'm about to kick him in the gut, what're ya gonna-"

The blow lands hard. Stan's head jerks to the side and he's thrown off balance, and he sees actual stars before his vision clears again and he realizes he's crumpled on the ground. His head swims as hands pull him around onto his back.

"Mother o pearl!" Fidds gasps. He's got his hands on Stan's face, careful touch at complete odds with the punch he'd just landed in the same place. "Are you alright? I am so sorry! I hit ya and you weren't even ready and - you just got me so riled up and I tried to tell ya and I shoulda said earlier instead o just lettin ya show me all those moves, but I just wanted to, well - goddangit, Ford, this ain't funny."

Ford's laughing as he comes up behind them, looking down at where Stan is staring kinda dazedly up at Fidds, who's kneeling by his side in the cool grass. "We did try to tell him, Fiddleford."

"Tell me what?" Stan demands. His jaw is already aching but Fidds’s hands feel kinda good so he doesn't tell him to move.

"Fiddleford was a boxing champion back back in his hometown," Ford says.

Stan blinks. "Bwuh-?"

"Not much of a champion," Fidds says with a wince, but he's blushing a bit as he goes on, "It was never anythin official, but - well, I did win more than a few matches at some backyard parties, see, and - well, people usually don't think I got any hittin power or can defend myself, but my Ma's been all too happy to teach me since I was little, and-"

The guy's rambling, and Stan quits being able to understand what he's saying half way through cause the accent is coming in thick and Ford’s chuckling and standing there looking proud of his best friend and Stan’s a little worried that he's still jarred from the hit, cause when he looks at Fidds kneeling there, one hand one Stan's chest and the other bashfully rubbing his neck while he rambles on - he's still seeing stars.

Later, while Stan sits in the living room with an bag of ice in his jaw and Fiddleford sitting next to him, still rambling about all the times he'd knocked a few guys into the mud in some backcountry hoedown get-together or whatever, Stan can lean back and relax and grin, knowing Fidds is gonna be just fine.

He can't wait to teach him wrestling.

[pickleddandelions]

This took way longer to make than I expected and/or wanted it to.

I've collected some stray thoughts and ideas I had into what I've been calling Shape!Caz AU. The name might be subject to change because I'm terrible at naming things. To be honest I haven't completely fleshed out the AU yet and I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it.

The basic premise is that after destroying the Shape, Caz becomes the eldritch horror instead. He doesn't know about that part. What he knows is that all of the sudden he's back on an oil rig that should have been destroyed, surrounded by people who died horrible deaths at best but are suddenly alive and well and there's creepy shit happening around him that gets worse the more he panics.

It’s December 27th. None of the crew remember the 26th happening, but the people calling from the outside insist on that. They say the Beira D was completely unreachable for a whole day.

Caz just appeared at the derrick at some point. He didn’t walk in or anything, all of the sudden he just stood there, screaming. Gibbo was the first one to get to him, but then he started freaking out and yelling about not wanting to do something and ran away. It’s impossible to get him to stop crying for long enough to explain anything. It’s even harder to get any explanation from Caz. The guy just keeps rambling about people dying and monsters. Looking at him for too long hurts.

Apparently Rennick tried to fire Caz. No idea what made him change his mind, but his office has been destroyed and the guys from Administration say that he called some random guy just to threaten him. They also said that Caz is now banned from using any form of long-range communication. This was not elaborated on.One of the first things Caz did after getting to Accommodations was punching Addair. Nobody thought anything of it at the time but now Addair’s wandering around Engineering muttering something about the engine and calling his kids. He’s not responding to anyone trying to talk to him. It’s really bad for the crew’s morale.

There’s something big moving on the deck that you can only see when looking out of the windows. Some of the deckhands keep insisting that it’s Muir, but none of them have any idea how they know that. Muir himself is currently trapped in their cabin where Innes locked him in after Caz mentioned his name. Innes went missing a few hours ago. Muir is starting to get pissed. Caz seems really upset by this.

The hallways are alive when Caz is upset.

[nomoresleep]

okey i kind of agree but i think their could be several readings and the actual point is more will became violent because he fell in love with hannibal and he has very high levels of empathy. And him breaking out hannibal from prison is him choosing love over morals. (This is so queer-coded!!! I love it!)

( i also think maybe thats what op said but i just had this thought and wanted to write it down)

Let me elaborate. You generally care more for people your close with/ love then complete strangers and even though will can understand (every)anybody he can't let himself care for (every)anybody because that would break him (this is why he self-isolates in the beginning of the show.)

But in season 1 he cant help but start caring for hannibal because hannibal not only establishes himself as a safety net but he also, just, gets him.

Like the very first scene they are on screen together hannibal full on psychoanalyzes the shit out of will and will looks genuinely scared because everything hannibal says is right and He leaves immediately.

But due the curse of the first season he starts to trust hannibal, in the end hannibal breaks his trust by framing for all the murders etc.

In season 2a will is establishing an equal power dynamic by sending a killer after hannibal therefore showing him you can't fuck with me and in season 2b will is trying to lure hannibal, getting to trust him and is in the process reminded of how he fell in love with hannibal in the first place/ he starts to enjoy killing.

In season 3 will wants to understand hannibal after he left him and in the process not only sees hannibal as who he is but also himself. Because he is a mirror. He picks up on speaking patterns around him (that happens several times but the most noticeable scene i can think of is when hes drinking with margot the first time and shes says :" Did he have it coming?" Will: "What do you think?" Margot: "Can't say i know" And than will says "Neither can I" in a way that sound much more like margot talking than he himself.) He feels the feelings of people around him in almost the same intensity as his own and is very sensitive about it (season 1: when jack realizes his wife probably has cancer and will is (in the end of the episode) just like okey lets sit down and talk)

(i'm just saying that because i read people on here saying he is less emotionally intellegent than hannibal and like have we not seen the same show?? Will is incredibly emotionally intellegent this is why hes so good at manipulation (season 2a))

Okey anyway about season 3a he says to chiyoh that he has never known himself as well as he knows himself when hes with hannibal and thats literally just the definition of love!!

Like you'll always feel more like yourself with people you love than with strangers because they know you and you know them. (I know - you know thing)

Okey i think the point that i'm trying to make is will is not an inherently morally bad person like hannibal who was just kind of born with this disposition (i would probably say an anti social personality disorder combined with god complex and psychological trauma that resulted in his habit of just sometimes killing people who are rude (the only morals he cares about are aesthetic ones) anyways i'm losing track..) but he becomes a morally bad person for loving hannibal and therefore kind of adapting his habits (sometimes killing and eating people)

Again it's so queer coded!! It's basically saying what if love was morally unacceptable by society?

This all very meta and there are obviously several readings but thats just what i got out of it watching the show several times the last half year and reading a lot of analysis online and also with the background knowledge of bryan fuller being gay and saying in interviews (2007 i think) that he wants more authentic gay characters in television.

Anyway i love this show so much because it's so smart and well done!!

The whole plot twist in Hannibal nbc is that in fact Will had a dark side that enjoyed killing not because he was getting into the minds of the killers but because that's just how he was inside. That was a part of him that he was repressing and denying. The thought that he could blame it on his job helped but after he meets Hannibal he reaches his full potential. Hannibal sees right through him from the start and helps him accept himself as he really is, promising that they will be alone together, that he won't have to endure everything on his own. That they can create their own world and have their own rules, religion and morale. And I think that is wonderful

[problemcore]

like yea when i was. freaking 16. i saw buccellati as a very parental figure to the passione kids. but im 20 now and im overcome with dread at how the entire world is at his shoulders the entire season. its terrifying. and you reduce him to the mom friend? whatever is actually going on with him is much more intriguing

[sefynarose]

okay this is on my mind in regards to the comic i just saw, but Zayne, Xavier, and Rafayel had to be CERTAIN that MC was gonna be safe, because what do you mean you let this girl go into the N109 zone, and even assisted her in getting in there?? like despite all the dark rumors we heard these men literally did not do much to persuade her or try to stop her otherwise. i know there was the whole “linkcon city won’t be safe for the next few days” that we all saw and discussed, but obviously with the story update we got absolutely nothing out of that. and despite how premature the romantic aspect of the relationships with each of them might be, I don’t think they’d willingly let her walk into somewhere too dangerous unless they had an absolute certainty that she was going to be safe and protected. and now that makes me wonder if they know about Sylus and his link to her. Because what other certainty do they have to go off of?

[floweyseviltwin]

helloo. your palettes rule do you maybe have any tips on how you choose your colors :^) no pressure

Ah!!! Thank you!!!

my main tips are to keep values in mind, to not be afraid to saturate the HELL out of your colors, and to use the tools you’re given in digital programs!!!

elaboration & extra tips vvvv

Values- every hue has an inherent value, blue is the darkest, yellow is the lightest, so a saturation or hue change does mean a value change! Whenever i’m working on something more serious, i add a layer with a solid gray on “color“ mode to check my values throughout me making it. (do this as often as you flip your canvas, which you should also be doing fairly often) Values are super iimportant to the composition of your piece, so zoom out really far and see if your piece is still readable off of values!

Saturation- SATURATE YOUR COLORS. every time i color things, i start with a very (halfway to the full saturation or more) saturated color blocked in- often a color i want my character to be tinted- and start from that main color whenever i choose a new one. Though I like to use INCREDIBLY EYE-BLEEDINGLY saturated colors, greys have their place too!!! especially in more soft pieces. I never use fully desaturated greys, whites, or blacks. Again, i keep in mind the inherent value of colors, and use that to keep even my white tones saturated. (often i use a decently saturated cyan or yellow instead of white, and blues, purples, and dark reds instead of black) i also never touch the sides of the color picker when choosing my colors by hand, because it looks nicer.

Tools- this one’s for digital art specifically. Digital programs come with SO MANY useful tools that can improve your pieces so much, it’s silly to overlook them! USE filters, USE curves, USE layer modes!!!!! They’re there for a reason, and they can totally help if you’re too timid to saturate or darken your colors too much.

Other random tip i thought of while writing this that really opened my eyes recently. Try Starting by blocking in your LIGHTEST color, if you change it to be a wildly different hue than your character, then you can use that “white“ hue as reference for the rest of your colors. boom, LIGHTING!!!

^a doodle that came to mind using this. i started wanting the whitest color, their skin, to be this purple hue. so the color of their sweater, normally green, ended up a desaturated Orange because that’s how far it needed to go to appear green!!! Its really good to practice doing colors like this, it gets your artist brain flowin~

i freakin LOVE color theory, i’ve absorbed a lot of my color knowledge from learning from other artists. I reccomend the youtube channel Lighting Mentor for some really good tutorials on color and lighting. That’s one of my favorites, but there is literally a million channels and videos out there for you to learn from! If you type just “color theory“ into the youtube search bar you’ll find so many amazing videos by amazing artists. Don’t shy away from learning more about art!!!!! Embrace it!!!!!!!!!!!!! And GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!! x^)♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

[gurenmonster]

Haven't seen the 3rd movie yet so please for the love of God don't spoil me, but I dreamt we got that Eddie and Venom kiss, not in the movie, but in a Halloween short special, where they are decorating for Halloween and get... distracted.

It was so specific I genuinely thought it was real lmao they were even using that cgi Venom they use in promos... the kiss still looked good tho lol

It started with Venom being excited about getting decorations right and sort of thinks about it for a second before asking Eddie like a "what are we" question because this moment feels too intimate. Eddie tries to dodge the question, it's implied he doesn't want to say they're romantic partners? But Venom is sorta pushing him to say it playfully. Also while he does this he is in his full body form too lol

When Eddie is about to say it, Venom apparently can't resist anymore so... the scene goes like, Venom quickly leaning in- and then it cuts to them sorta making out on a couch?! Eddie is making his little noises, grasping desperately at Venom's back before Venom pulls away, hollering and cheering and I remember the very specific line of "Oh baby! The taste!" meanwhile Eddie is kinda flustered, complaining, wiping his face and again, I remember the very specific line of "is this what it was like when you were trying to eat me?!" ???

So yeah, already having dreams of these two and still haven't seen the 3rd movie. God help me.

[transmascutena]

Good evening (or morning, depending on your timezone).

Absolutely no hate, but I want to ask how you reconcile your enjoyment of the show with the reality of what Ikuhara has (most likely) done?/gen

I understand Death of the Author, but what drew me to Utena in the first place was its theme of critiquing the patriarchy and calling out abuse, which feels somewhat hypocritical now. I resonate with this show, and many of Ikuhara's other shows, on a personal level, which is why I am especially disappointed with the accusations since I now have to wonder how that reflects onto me as a person...?

Obviously I don't know you personally, but you seem to spend a lot of time and care on your analyses (which are great btw) so have you also struggled with this?

Again, there is like zero judgement when I say this and I'm absolutely not trying to come off as hostile (in case that is how this reads). And, there is no pressure on you to answer this and I'll completely understand if you want to ignore the ask.

Thanks.

hi, i've been thinking about this as well since yesterday, and it is kind of tough to figure out how to feel about. i think it's important to remember that ikuhara did not make revolutionary girl utena alone, for one. he had a whole team of writers and animators and producers and so on, that it would not exist without. obviously ikuhara played a big part in the show's creation, but far from the only one (if it was, i have no doubt it would be very very different), and . idk what my point really is here but i don't think his actions reflect on the show as a whole. it still is what it is, it still says the same important things about our society's systems of abuse that we've always talked about, even if the director didn't understand it or didn't want to understand it or however you want to put it. and by extension i don't think it reflects on to all the people who have enjoyed the show, who have seen their experiences in it, who have learned from it more about how this kind of abuse works and so on. and i think we need to be aware of what has (allegedly, but again, i believe it) happened, but i don't necessarily think we need to write off the show just because he had a hand in making it. because it is just as important as we've always known it to be, you know? though i think there are (as there has always been and there always is in anything) elements of the show to be critical of, and maybe some new things as well in light of this. i'll have to think about it more.

[devflamme]

im so tired of people talking more about the "w. maximoff" in the trailer than agatha herself. like oh my god theres leaks saying that joe lockes character will be using a book throughout the series and that fucking piece of paper is from westviews LIBRARY. if joe lockes character is actually billy, im 100% sure thats his name there - william maximoff, not wanda maximoff. in the day wanda died, WILLIAM went there and got a book about magic. thats it. thats not fucking wanda. shes dead

and about the body in the woods: thats actually agatha. its a spell that rio is using to take agatha out of wandas own spell. rio even says "is that how you see yourself?", as if she had taken that from agathas own mind - as if agathas identity was erased, killed because of wandas spell and mind control.

does this make sense

[having-conniptions]

I think one thing people don't realize about Tommy's "I'm your first, not your last" is that the beliefs of a character do not necessarily reflect the beliefs of the writers. Characters say dumb shit all the time. People make irrational decisions all the time. People make mistakes. Tommy is not perfect, so he's obviously gonna make mistakes, too. A character making a mistake is not necessarily bad writing. Hear me out.

We don't know what Tommy has experienced. He's clearly putting his walls up to avoid being hurt. Maybe he's wrong, maybe Buck wouldn't end up breaking his heart. But Tommy "knows how this ends" because it's probably happened to him before. So this time, he leaves first. This time, he ends things before they get too good to be true.

Idk I just think maybe we were supposed to see through Tommy's calm words and see that he's deeply hurt and scared of getting hurt again. Maybe we were supposed to feel like Tommy was making a mistake, an irrational decision, because he's only human. Maybe we weren't supposed to love this breakup.

I don't think the writers were trying to sell us Tommy's words as "the objective truth" and that Buck being bi automatically means he's gonna sleep around and cheat on Tommy.

[limonjarritos]

The wine bottle and symbolism

this is personally my take on the symbolism of the wine bottle/bottle opener as based on a post by galaxitic

The wine as a symbol for obsession for a loss of control. For how Vincent feels about his fixation with Rody. Of even in a way a symbol for Rody himself.

The wine opener being Vince's semblance of control over that obsession. That he believes he has control on his feelings about Rody. But when he goes to open that bottle its not in a semblance of control but that of panic, that of impulse but he still tells himself that it's something, not realizing that with a sip of the wine he's consumed back. His rational is consumed. Just like how this whole time Rody has made him drunk with impulse.

How the wine is admittedly what does him in.

Vince breaks the bottle, breaks 'Rody' through a lack of control. He uses the bottle opener to try and open the real thing, drunk and searching for more, willing to truly give into his impulses and be intoxicated.

Vince has for the most part up until this point been bottling up his feelings, playing the part of mild mannered and in control (though his control isn't perfect. The rat, the watching through the peep hole-)

Rody taking that broken bottle in hand, takes said obsession and kills Vincent with it. Because a broken bottle is going to hurt you. Because Rody is so broken right now, shattered, reeling from the revelation that Manon has been killed. The love bleeding from his body and a hot demand for revenge coming to him that results in the burning of Vince.