#i hope this is helpful or of interest to people
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Motion Sickness
jason todd x fem!reader
aka jason makes you cry after a fight
warnings: angst with comfort
“Jason—”
He waves you off immediately, “No, I’m not your problem, okay?”
Your arms drop, “You’re not a problem at all, that’s not what I’m saying—”
“Then what are you saying?” he challenges.
You almost bite your tongue but then decide against it, “I’m saying you’re being an asshole right now just because I tried to help.”
He’s angry and you’re someplace in between desperate and tired, but you push on, hoping you’ll be able to solve this without an extended argument. To little avail though, apparently.
A tense exhale from him, “I don’t need your help, I don’t know how I can make it any clearer.”
“It’s not about needing it—”
“No, it’s about wanting it. I don’t want your fucking help,” he snaps. “I’m grown, I can handle my problems myself.”
You drop your hands to your sides, “Then what am I doing here, Jason?”
“I don’t know!” You can literally see the regret sweep over his face but he lets the moment consume him and the words linger anyways.
You know he doesn’t always think before he talks, especially when he’s mad. You’ve seen it plenty when he’s fighting with his family. This is the first time it’s shown up with you though, and while you know it’s not coming from a place of genuinity—it still really fucking stung.
Far from being in your control, tears slip out, more at his tone than his words, and you remove your gaze in favor of the linoleum tiles. He says nothing as you start to cry, which only makes the heat of the moment worsen.
“Okay,” You take a deep breath, pursing your lips. “You need to go away.”
There’s a long, hard moment of silence, but ultimately he doesn’t fight you on it, only exhales harshly and slams the door on his way out.
The resulting reverberation of the apartment has your shoulders shaking, tears falling onto your shirt.
You and Jason don’t fight often but when you do it’s usually about insecurities and fears coming forward. He’d been having a bad night to start with and all you wanted to do was make him feel better but he wasn’t willing to talk to you or let you do anything for him. He gets selfishly selfless like that, but you know why.
You know him, in and out. You could’ve anticipated this—you should’ve. You should’ve approached the topic more sensitively. And it’s not his fault, his life has taught him that it’s safer to believe that other people don’t have his best interest. You know that.
Yeah, you know him in and out, but he knows you in and out, too. He knows you’ve shown him nothing but kindness and generosity since the day you met and you’ve reinforced a thousand times how safe you are for him. But if he still can’t trust you to care about him, then what are you doing here?
You let yourself fall back onto the arm of the couch, huffing in defeat.
It’s nearing two in the morning when Dick awakens, the bandages across his abdomen digging into his skin uncomfortably. He sits up, bedsheet pooling around his waist. The ache of the bruising pushes him towards his old bedroom door before he’s even fully coherent, narrowly missing shouldering the door frame as he passes through.
He’s still half asleep as he thumps down the staircase, cold hands stuffed in the pocket of his sweatshirt. He’s so out of it in his blind search for painkillers, that he nearly misses the large shadowed figure huddled up on the couch.
Dick stills, blinking warily.
“What’re you doing here?”
His younger brother says nothing, only continues to stew in the shadows, staring at the rug.
As his eyes adjust, Dick takes in his appearance: messy hair, tired eyes, only clad in a t-shirt and sweatpants.
He rubs his eyes, approaching with measured steps, “What happened?”
Jason remains silent for a long minute before grunting out, “Got in a fight.”
Dick nods slowly, shuffling forward a little more to sit on the far end of the couch.
“What’d you do?”
Jason doesn’t have it in him to comment on how his brother immediately knew he was the issue. It just makes the entire thing hurt even worse. Instead, he tells the truth.
“Be myself.”
Dick says nothing,
When the silence persists, Jason elaborates, even though it’s the last thing he wants to admit to.
“I made her cry,” he says, voice below even a whisper. He hates it and he hates himself for leaving you when he knew he’d hurt you.
Dick nods, not saying anything. He’s definitely been there before, though he’s not nearly as volatile as Jason can be, so he can imagine how this likely played out. In any case, Jason has never responded well to being pushed to talk about his feelings so Dick lets him get there in his own time.
He’s half expecting to end up with no results at all, but Jason pipes up after a minute, voice broken.
“I don’t know what she wants me to do,” he rasps.
Dick takes a deep breath, adjusting his posture. “When girls are mad you give them space but when they’re sad you definitely don’t. Is she sad or mad?”
Jason exhales desperately.
“Both, I think.”
Dick nods, understanding.
“Then go home.”
Jason shakes his head, defeated. “She told me to leave. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“What did you say?”
He huffs, not wanting to bring the memory back up. “I basically told her to fuck off.”
“Yeah,” Dick drawls. “I wouldn’t let that simmer.”
Jason’s head snaps over to him. “She’ll break up with me?”
“No, I don’t—” Dick pauses, thinking over his words. “It’ll be fine. Just go home.”
Despite taking the long route on the way to the manor, Jason sped back home on his bike, now unwilling to leave you alone for another second longer than he had to.
He creeps through the front door of your apartment, proud and only a little hurt that you’d remembered to lock it.
The apartment’s mostly quiet, nothing but a lamp lighting up the front half. He can hear the shower running from where he stands, the waterfall noise awfully muffled from behind the closed bathroom door.
He bolts the door behind him, pushing forward towards the hallway. He approaches the bathroom door, noticing how there’s no light flooding out from underneath.
“Baby?” Jason calls it out quietly, like he’s scared to commit to alerting you of his presence.
He hears no response, but he knows you heard him. He knows you heard him in the same way that he knows you’re sitting on the shower floor, curled in on yourself under the sensory relief that the pouring water brings. He doesn’t know how, he just does.
So he leans against the door, listening closely, and calls out again, “Can I come in?”
There’s a solid ten seconds of silence before you respond, just barely audible over the cascade of water.
“Not right now.”
Your volume has him wincing, saddened and embarrassed that he’s the one that made you feel like this.
He reluctantly walks back to the bedroom with heavy shoulders, thudding his weight down on the mattress. He sits half folded over himself for the next ten minutes, thinking only of you, sitting alone in the shower with your thoughts.
He perks up considerably when he hears the water shut off, and after several long minutes, you emerge from the bathroom, towel wrapped around your middle.
He stands up when you enter the bedroom, hands stiff and awkward at his sides. You barely look at him, having trouble willing yourself to do more than glance.
Your eyes fall downward, your lips pursing. You instinctually move to clutching the towel tighter around you, more than anything because you don’t know what to do with your hands.
It makes his heart break to see you so out of comfort around him—because of him—so he gives you the benefit of privacy, turning around so you can get dressed. It kills him to do it, makes him feel like he’s just some stranger in your life rather than him. But he supposes that he deserves to feel like that right now.
Whether or not you wanted him to turn around goes unsaid, he can only hear the quiet shuffling of you putting clothes on.
He waits until the movement stops, after he hears the squeak of the bed springs and the faint sound of the sheets being pulled up.
He turns around again with a silent sigh, taking in the sight of you laying in bed, back turned to him.
He approaches slowly, stopping just before his knees hit the mattress. He notices quickly that the t-shirt you’d chosen was one of your own. He frowns.
“Sweetheart. Can I touch you?” His voice is soft and low, like he’s trying to coax you back out to him.
It takes a long few moments, but you nod.
He sits down on the bed, still hesitant to go through with it.
“Will you turn over?”
An even longer pause and you’re flipping over to face him. You don’t make eye contact, only look blankly past him. Your blinks are heavy, and even in the dark, he can see that your eyes are still bloodshot.
He brushes your hair back, his fingers feather-light against you, like he’s scared to touch you too harshly. Like he’s touching porcelain.
He lets you hold the silence for a while, reasoning with himself that you’ll talk when you’re ready.
You let it go on longer than he’d hoped, past the point of him knowing what to do with it. He’d hoped you’d yell at him. He can take that, he knows he can. He can see plainly that you’re thinking deeply and wants more than anything for you to say it, scream it if you have to.
He knows he deserves it and he frankly would take anything over the silence. But then again, he doesn’t deserve the reprieve, does he? No, but he’s not strong enough to deny himself the chance to hear your voice.
“Say it,” he urges. “Please.”
Your fingers tap against the bed sheets for a moment before you sit up, almost defeated.
You face him, taking a breath and relenting. “I don’t like that you said that to me.”
He nods, brow deep. “Me neither.”
Your shoulders sag at that, and you feel stuck in the moment. You feel guilty too but you don’t know if you should. He didn’t mean it, you know that, and they weren’t his words, really. But the snap of his voice when he’d said it and the look on his face—it made you feel terrible. It still does.
You look awkwardly to the left, feeling heavily spectated by him and so hyper-conscious of all of your movements. The downturn of your lips gives way to burning in your eyes and before you can do anything about it, tears are spilling out.
Jason sees it immediately, his head lulling helplessly.
“Oh, baby. Please don’t cry, please.”
But that only makes it worse, the tears falling faster and heavier at his soft tone.
He forgoes asking permission and pulls you directly into his chest, a firm hand on the back of your head. It’s what you needed though, to be close to him right now.
“I’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry, baby—” he murmurs against your hair, pressing a rough kiss as he holds you tighter.
You shake your head, sniffling. “It’s okay, Jay.”
“No, it’s not.”
That sentiment lingers for several minutes, as he holds you cheek to chest and rubs soothing patterns into your hair.
It’s not long before you’re able to fully relax against him, his touch feeling nothing short of therapeutic. Your breathing eventually levels out back to baseline and your thoughts start to find peace amongst themselves.
When you’re ready, you sit back from him, letting him see your face again.
He visibly winces as he scans over the tears on your cheeks, how they’re starting to stain.
You’re still upset, a little, but not nearly as much as you’re sure your face is conveying.
“It’s okay,” you tell him, wiping your eyes with your sleeve.
He shakes his head, “If I ever say something like that to you again, hit me. I’m serious.”
You drop your hand onto your lap, tilting your head at him with a serious look. “I’m not going to hit you—”
“Then break up with me. Don’t ever let somebody talk to you like that, especially not me.”
His voice is hard and you can tell the impact of his words have every bit of weight intended.
Your mouth closes and you waver unsure of where to go with that. Your gaze falls down to where your hands lie discarded on your lap and there’s a palpable shift to the air in the room.
“Hey.” He pushes your chin up to make you look at him, “Listen to me. You’re the love of my life. You hear me? I’m supposed to take care of you, make you happy. I don’t…I can’t talk to you like that. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
Your eyes flicker back and forth across each others and you can see the genuine sincerity etched plainly across his face.
He processes the comprehension across your own before his jaw tenses for a moment and he adds, “Nobody’s gonna talk to you like that, much less me. Yes?”
You start to nod slowly and he mirrors you until he’s convinced of your belief in the statement.
He rubs calm circles into your thighs as you both sit with the conversation, the light sounds of each others breaths the only sound heard. This silence isn’t the same as it was before though, it’s safer, more comfortable. It’s familiar, if not weighted.
“I love you,” you tell him quietly.
His eyebrows furrow like his heart was just shattered.
“I love you too, baby. So much.”
🦟 if you don't reblog things i'm actively sending bad vibes your way 🦟 and maybe also a plague
#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd/you#jason todd imagine#jason todd thoughts#jason todd/reader#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x reader#red hood/you#red hood x you#red hood/reader#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction#dc x y/n#dc x you#dc x reader#dc imagine#dc fanfic
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[ID: reply from @tianlavellan saying “hey op i hope this isn't annoying please absolutely 100% ignore me if it is but - if you're willing to ramble about neve. make me like her? i'm so sad because i just don't care for her and i wish i diddddd please help me change my mind about her?”]
she’s SUCH a male character archetype, is i think what gets me
in veilguard every companion’s world adapts to the genre that the companion belongs to. dock town is constantly in a detective story, because neve lives there. (or neve is who she is because she lives in a detective story? food for thought.) but she doesn’t play the role women usually do in those stories. by rights she should be a femme fatale or a weeping widow or a dead body. instead, she’s the lead, the emotionally calloused private eye who smokes and can throw a punch, the protector of the people
and she gets to be so many other things that are in my experience usually only for male characters!! people respect her and rely on her without question, nobody surprised that she’s capable. she focuses on work while living off greasy fried food in a lonely apartment, none of which is presented as some kind of embarrassing failure of femininity, just what she’s chosen to value. she’s allowed to be suspicious, to make you work to win her trust, to withhold her forgiveness and supportive spells from you if she chooses, without being painted as a bitch for it. she gets to be the jaded lone wolf of the team! that’s crazy! it would be so easy to play her as an ice queen “strong independent woman” whose confidence never cracks, but instead they get the dry, cynical tone and tight hold on her emotions without denying that she has emotions or making her feel like less of a person who gets to have needs and griefs and worries too. they got a really good balance of how she clearly could use more support than she’s had, without it feeling like she needs a rescue. she can live without you, she just shouldn’t have to
she’s just so cool idk... i think she doesn’t reveal as much as easily as some of the other companions, but that’s why to me it feels so much more earned and interesting when she DOES open up
#neve gallus#i think its usually worth challenging yourself ‘how would i feel if this character were a man?’#but especially here bc like. undeniably checks so many male character boxes and would be a fandom darling#if she were one
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♛- Could've fooled me
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
➸ INTERESTS; -timeskip/pro-hero!katsuki bakugo x f!reader
➸ BACKGROUND; - Little drabble/blurb about Bakugo, and how much he claims to hate you. Considering you as someone who's nothing, but an obstacle for him, but like all obstacles you constantly get in his way, and he loves it.
➸ WARNINGS; - wc.1k, mentions of hatred/dislike, indecisiveness, romantic and sexual tension, smut, p in v, oral sex f!recieving, masturbation m!engaging, kissing, orgasms (both f and m engaging), mentions of arguing, hating/disliking to liking/loving relations.
➸a.i; - omg new blurb everyone wake up eek, working on 3 masterlists rn so sad eugh, but i hope u guys enjoy.
༊࿐ ͎. 。˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ༊࿐ ͎. 。˚ ° ⊹ ˚.
Katsuki hates how much you tail or tag around him, no matter how many times he's told you to leave him alone you just keep coming back.
Katsuki also hates the amount of attention you attract whenever you're out, whether a small story the girls are bringing up about random people approaching you, or even if he's stuck in a situation with you himself. He knew better than to bring it up to your attention through an argument though, you can't help who you attract. He just considers you lucky that he's always there at the right times.
He despises how kind you are, it almost seems as if you do it to mock him. You're not nice, but kind, kind to random people you've met, people you've had issues with and even him. It bothers him more like anything before, maybe it's because he believes he's the only person that should be getting that attention.
He isn't fond of how much you two share in common aside from your opposite attitudes. It's almost as if you two were meant to clash with one another. Arguments would always disperse between the two of you, and honestly, it fired him up in a way even he wouldn't expect.
He hates how he's back at his place now, his sweatpants pulled down to his thighs as his wifebeater was now rolled up over his belly button. His breath hitched as he was 'relieving himself of his anger' from your argument prior. He wasn't sure if he was going crazy or was just too caught up in the moment, but when he pictured you on your knees with your mouth wide open it sent him straight to climax, huffing and grunting softly to himself.
Don't get Katsuki started on the entire phrase others repeat to him. 'Opposites attract', he finds it a bunch of bullshit, he hates how often he hears it. Even if whatever he felt for you was what everyone else thought there's no way it was reciprocated. From all of his messes he had to clean up (like last night's mess) there was no way he'd take the risk.
He hates how he wasn't able to realize it sooner, your small remarks and subtle comments were pointers. You did reciprocate whatever he was feeling towards you, and he knew that by how much you were babbling underneath him while he fucked you.
Katsuki loves how you feel around his cock, it's like you're trying to suck him in any deeper from the inside. There wasn't any deeper, his breath was ragged as you were a moaning mess by how his tip kissed your cervix with every thrust.
"Katsuki please, I- ah, I can't" you cry. Oh, he loves how much you try to fight him over it, it's practically making him harder than he was. He could tell you were close; no one just denies their pleasure if an orgasm isn't close.
He's quick to lift up one of your legs, pressing down on the back of your thigh as he pistols himself within you now, your cries getting louder as your clawing at his shoulders and back now. He hates how easily whipped you are for him, one minute you invite him into your place and the next your spread out on your couch.
He hates that you attempt to cover your mouth while he's drilling you so quickly, you're sure that the condom he has on will either snap or come off. He's quick to grab your hands and hold them over your head with his much larger one.
He doesn't like how good you feel now, because now he's getting vocal. He hates being vocal more than anything, and with the other girls he's fucked it hadn't been a problem until right now with you. The way you were biting and clawing at him made something in the pit of his stomach flutter, maybe it was something he ate.
He loves how you kiss him when you come undone, biting his lip softly as you whine and twitch through your orgasm. His thrusts becoming sloppy after your orgasm. You now applied pressure and spoke him through his own orgasm, and even clamped down on him, and it wasn't helping.
He likes the fact that he's doing this to you, that this moment is being shared between the two of you. At first when you two started you admitted out of shame this was your first time, he only looked at you in awe, to him this was an honor.
He hated how much you squirmed and moved around when he ate you out when you started. His tongue never leaving your clit as he dug his fingers deep into you, one by one. He wanted to keep you still, he didn't like how you pushed and turned, but it was all worth it when he made you cum, the first time out of many for the night.
"Ha, are you close? Your- mmm, you're going faster" you moan into him, as he buries his head within your neck and nods slightly. He isn't a man of many words, the two of you knew this already, but for you he wanted to. Maybe the thought was stupid or funny to ridicule him for, but he wishes for this moment to never end, and he hates that.
Katsuki was just on the edge, no words were shared between you two, more importantly him, as he climaxed. His grunts and breathing were as heavy as ever as he cradled into your shoulder, you only rubbed his back and moaned along with him, easing him through it. He hated how you babied him, even though you were younger than him.
Maybe he hated the fact that he secretly loved what you were doing, you weren't able to see it, but after the high faded he smiled. Katsuki smiled at the fact of how happy he was to share such a moment like this with you, but yet again it was going to take a lot to even get a confession from him.
As of now, not even Katsuki Bakugo himself could tell you whether or not he still hated you. Hating someone for who they are and hating someone for what they do are two different things, but maybe it wasn't even you. Katsuki hates how he feels for you because it drives him off in such an animalistic way, he just can't ever get enough of you.
And he loves it.
༊࿐ ͎. 。˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ༊࿐ ͎. 。˚ ° ⊹ ˚.
✴🕷 please do not copy, plagiarize, edit, or translate any works submitted by me. all works are originated and all other pictures used within those works are online images. thank you!! @kryptznnn
#kryptznnn#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugo katuski#katsuki bakugou#bakugo#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo mha#bnha bakugou#bakugo katsuki#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#bakugo smut#katsuki smut#drabble
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The solution is to build up power inside our local communities outside of capitalism by getting involved with (or starting) an organization seeking to do that. We have to look to Leftist organizers for guidance. We have to look to historical Leftist strikes, resistances, and rebellions and learn from them, critically sifting through the actions of the past in order to not make the same mistakes.
“Be A Revolution: How Everyday People are Changing the World and You Can Too” by Ijeoma Oluo is an AWESOME book to read if you are feeling hopeless, drained, or are looking for how to start. One thing Oluo helped me with was realizing how capitalist-fucked my imagination was— every solution I could think of was a half-measure and I always felt overwhelmingly unsatisfied at the progress that my imagined solution could affect. Once you realize how powerful imagination is, you realize how we need to weaponize it as a means of deradicalizing people out of the death cults of fascism and capitalism, and you realize just how possible that really is. The first thing you’ll need to do when organizing is convincing other people to have hope— which is to imagine a better future.
Oluo also relays a LOT of accounts of how specific people went about starting organizations in response to the terrible conditions they were experiencing. There are men who are working against the patriarchy in prison— teaching their fellow men about how they’ve been trapped in a cage of toxic masculinity before ever being imprisoned. There are people dedicated to teaching about hierarchy and the functions of oppression. I haven’t finished it yet but the accounts I’ve read so far have changed everything for me.
So, what can you do?
First off:
Take care of yourself. You matter in so many ways to the cause— more than what you can do to make change, you are a beacon for people around you. You are a lover, a friend, a comrade. We must care for ourselves because we are loved and valued and losing us will only add to the despair people are already contending with. We must remind ourselves and each other that people are relying on us and not better off if we’re gone.
Focus on the humanity of the people around you. Are you surrounded by republicans? Focus on your mutual interests and don’t assert your differences— people will work with you while still calling themselves conservatives, so take advantage of that. You don’t have to be friends with everyone in the movement, even if having friends already engaging in direct action makes it way easier to do so yourself. Remember our goal is not ideological purity— it’s affecting change and change is all about numbers.
Keep moving further Left and continue questioning authority. These problems have been going on for hundreds of years, and they were never going to be solved by a system that exists to arbitrarily prevent people from access to human needs. We must look to the people who have already been in the fight rather than continue deferring to politicians.
If you’re able:
Volunteer at any local organization that is providing food or shelter— even if they are conservative, volunteer. Having that volunteer experience can help you see how those organizations are structured and who in your community is being failed by them.
Start an org for needs that aren’t being met in your local community. Start as small as you can, even as simple as starting a community garden in your backyard. It will snowball if it is helping people.
Find a spot to set up a free store. We all have stuff we don’t need anymore, instead of selling it or giving it to a thrift store, give it away to someone.
Print posters and zines and hand them out outside of high schools. We need to be engaging in tactics that work to bring young people further left and a part of that is simply informing them.
And since this is not a comprehensive list, continue seeking out radical solutions from authors and activists who have dedicated their whole life to studying and explaining. Look to the people who have been doing grass-roots organizing for years.
If you’re disabled:
spread information about how oppression functions and how to organize an assembly— you can explain to people who don’t have the time to study or who have a learning disability that make it difficult to parse the thousands of words that are used in explanation. Synthesizing info so that it is accessible to all is CRITICAL
start an artist coalition with friends and make provocative art that makes people think twice about all this shit. People are not aware of what their options are. They are also just trying to survive under capitalism.
share your knowledge on essential skills with your friends (gardening, opsec/infosec, conflict resolution, etc.) There are people who are working in these orgs that could use the expertise that you have.
Books on my TBR that could be helpful:
They Will Beat the Memory Out of Us: Forcing Nonviolence on Forgetful Movements by Peter Gelderloos
The Solutions are Already Here: Strategies for Ecological Revolution from Below by Peter Gelderloos
Beyond Cop Cities: Dismantling State and Corporate-Funded Armies and Prisons edited by Joy James
Renters Unite: How Tenant Unions Are Fighting the Housing Crisis by Jacob Stringer
Against Technoableism: Rethinking Who Needs Improvement by Ashley Shew
Let This Radicalize You: Organizing and the Revolution of Reciprocal Care by Mariame Kaba, Kelly Hayes, Maya Schenwar
Surviving the Future: Abolitionist Queer Strategies by Shuli Branson, Raven Hudson, Bry Reed
We Do This 'Til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice by Mariame Kaba, Tamara K Nopper, Naomi Murakawa
Becoming Abolitionists: Police, Protests, and the Pursuit of Freedom by Derecka Purnell
Unbuild Walls: Why Immigrant Justice Needs Abolition by Silky Shah, Amna A Akbar
A People's Guide to Abolition and Disability Justice by Katie Tastrom
is this fucking SATIRE??????????????????????
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As bleak as things may seem, I'm reminded that even in the darkest of times—or, maybe, especially in them—art can help get us through; that's my hope for this year's calendar. I want it to be a balm. I want it to spark joy. I want it to remind you of love, and of the strength we find in each other as people, and as fans of this stupid little show with these frustrating boys that mean so much to us. I know it won't solve any of our problems, but it may ease some ache.
If that sounds like something for you, you can preorder a copy now through December 1st here. (Calendar details can also be found at that link!)
If not, that’s okay, too. Just please remember to take care of yourselves, and each other. <3
For anyone interested in a digital copy: it will be released later in December publicly, but it will also be a supporter perk for everyone on Patreon and Kofi, so if you've been thinking of checking either of those out, now might be a great time <3
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𐙚 ᯓ stupid crush — ᡣ𐭩
she didn't understand why she felt like this, why she felt so... warm. especially when you were around. any time you even came within a 5 feet radius of her, she'd feel like she was going to explode. her cheeks would heat up, and she wouldn't know how to act, what to say—she didn't even know how to breathe when you were around her. which reminded her... you were lying right on her chest, and that only made the struggle to breathe worse. she hopes you didn't notice, but with the way your hand ran across her stomach so often, she was sure you might've caught on earlier than she expected. billie had been the one to invite you over after you got off your shift, and you happily accepted her invitation because she was never really the one to ask.
so, here you were, your bodies laying on her bed as a song from your shared playlist plays at a low volume from the speaker on her nightstand. the rain from outside hit her window, the quiet pitter-patter noises making the whole scene complete. it was something straight out of some classic friends-to-lovers film. her bedside lamp was on, lighting the room up just enough so that you could see her face and she could see yours. she was counting each of the little freckles on your face as you shut your eyes, relaxing into her. she ran a hand through your hair, her fingers scratching your scalp so softly, so carefully as she lulled you even further into a sleepy state of mind. she was praying you didn't hear the fast beating of her heart as she held you, not moving too much because she was scared that she'd do something wrong and you'd leave.
she grabbed her phone from her pocket, careful not to make too much noise as she unlocked her phone and went into her voice notes. she was sure you were asleep by now, your gentle breathing and quiet demeanor, a crystal clear sign. but, as she played the most recent one, titled 'stupid crush,' she regretted not making sure that you were actually asleep. her voice erupted from the speaker on her nightstand, and the first words that were heard were, "this is fucking stupid. i... love y/n. there was that—?" until billie finally came to her senses and paused it, the music resuming almost immediately. if her heart wasn't racing, it sure as hell was now. you stirred in your... sleep?—daze?—she didn't know, but now you were looking directly into her eyes with the... softest expression on your face. your eyes spoke for you, but billie was sure she was misreading the smile that began to creep onto your face. you were going to laugh. make fun of her—
"what's so 'fucking stupid' about that?" you giggle softly, voice slightly raspy and eyes glossed over with multiple emotions. all of which were for billie to decipher because she knew damn well she wasn't gonna get any answers from between your pretty pink lips until she finally admitted her feelings. but she didn't know what to say, and not even the music playing softly in the background calmed her anymore. she shut off her phone, tossing it to the empty side of the bed as she gulped quietly, "tell me, i'm quite interested." you sat up, sitting on her lap as you always did because you could never not be at least somewhat in her personal space. maybe that's part of what helped develop her crush on you. her stupid crush. on you. her best friend, of all people. she cleared her throat of the suffocating feeling as she sat up straighter, body tensing as she hopelessly murmured, "because you're my best friend. we're—y/n, we can't be—"
"who says we can't be together?" you scoff, a half-amused, half-annoyed look on your face. when she blinked, it was like you were a million miles closer to her, your lips inches apart, breath fanning over her face. she gulped again, eyes scurrying over to the empty side of the bed, biting on her lip nervously as she tried to think about what to say. it wasn't like she didn't want you to be her girlfriend, she was just... scared of messing it all up. when you cupped her cheek and turned her head back towards you, her eyes widened, "gimme one reason." you whisper, eyes darting down to her plump lips as you scoot closer to her body, shorts riding up your thighs. she doesn't respond, feeling frozen in the same song that just ended began to play again through the speaker, "billie," you murmur, lips only inches away from hers, almost brushing against each other as your hand travels down and wraps around the back of her neck, pulling her in closer. when your other hand comes up to her shoulder, she only then decides to speak, "because it'll be ten times harder to let you go."
"then you better hold me tight so that won't happen." you whisper before your lips crash softly against hers, pulling her closer by her neck. she doesn't pull away, your words slowly processing in her head as her own hands cautiously grab a hold of your waist, almost pulling you onto her lower abdomen in an attempt to get you closer. she wanted you two to be whole, even after all the doubt she spat out before. your words sunk deep into her heart, and now she didn't have a worry in the world. as long as you were with her, everything would be fine. she'd just have to hold you. close. tight. secure. as long as possible... and maybe even forever. she smirks against your mouth as she feels your tongue run across her lower lip, pulling away only a few inches as she opens her eyes, staring deeply into yours and never looking away, "so... i guess i should rename the voice note 'stupid girlfriend,' now?" she giggles as you roll your eyes, pushing her shoulder softly, "i think you're the stupid one."
𐙚 amiyaps : guys the landing of my flight scared the absolute SHIT out of me... cus tell me why we were dropping so fast bro 🙁
𐙚 tags : @mseilishmwah @sophloveswomen @mxqdii @livialifesblog @devynscomet @her-favorite @cannibalsclass @wiidfi0wer33 @loving1dsworld @tan1shere @fallingforfalll2 @cierraonline @dandelions4us @scarlittt @ifwdominicfike @slxtarchive @meliciousmel13 @zayluvss @hrtsdollie
#billie eilish#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x reader smut#billie eilish x f!reader#billie eilish oneshot#billie eilish fanfic#billie eilish fic#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish blurb#billie eilish songs#billie ellish lyrics#billie eilish icons#billie eilish smut#billie#hmhas#hit me hard and soft#hte#happier than ever#wwafawdwg#when we all fall asleep where do we go#dsam#dont smile at me
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Dude yeah Solas going back to the prison is so dumb to me. Like I assumed before seeing Trick’s post they he and the inquisitor were going into the fade itself to where he sealed the dreams or whatever. But instead I’m going to take my wife to my divorcee empty ass apartment where the ghosts of my past call me a wet loser? What?
JHGKEJRGHKERJHGKREJGH no ur right. i think it genuinely only works when you look at it from a mythological story perspective rather than the two of them as individual people... which is interesting because their whole stories are kind of about how they lose themselves to the myth that surrounds them... so i think its supposed to be the ultimate conclusion of that.
they are at once both finally free of the burdens of the myths and expectations that follow them as the dread wolf and the herald of andraste because they have left the mortal world that forced them into those roles and stripped them of their personhood, but they have also completely submitted themselves to those roles by submitting to the logical conclusion of the myths that they could not escape. for the dread wolf, it is earning his redemption through his willing submission to his own trap. its the logical, full-circle mythological conclusion to the trickster who trapped the gods, now trapped for eternity himself (allegedly, he will prob eventually break out... even loki gets his freedom during ragnarok...). for the inquisitor, it is andraste's herald finally sharing andraste's fate, choosing to leave the mortal world behind to ascend to the golden city alongside the god that she loves. both (presumably, for a lavellan) have tried to reject the myths attached to them over and over and over, but in the end they choose them willingly, and that choice at once binds them to those myths forever while simultaneously freeing them from the burden of them. its giving oedipal greek tragedy of attempting to outrun your fate and it finding you anyway, just when you thought you were finally making your own choice, but with a hopeful and bittersweet spin. its actually fucking insanely brilliant when i think about it this way it makes me genuinely foam at the mouth.
however the major caveat to this is i do not think this is presented nearly clear enough in veilguard. the only reason i am able to create such wonderful, deep meaning from this is honestly because my bachelor's degree is in literature and i literally have formal academic training analyzing storytelling. and it took me like a week to actually sift through all this in my brain and go back and sift through lines and images in the game to support my analysis. it should not take that much work, it should have been more clear. because yeah, the first time you play it it absolutely feels like your girly pop lavellan is making the WORST, down-bad delulu decision of her life while the rest of the world is screaming GIRL DUMP HIM!!!!!!!! and im not suggesting im smarter than anyone for looking at it “the right way” or anything like that. im saying that i think in order to get the meaning from it that the writers intended, you have to look at it through a very specific literary lens, and that is something that most people are not going to default to… because why would you? the story should lead you there on its own. there shouldn’t be a niche prerequisite to enjoying the ending. a few more lines about people made into myths, much like those we got throughout inquisition, could’ve helped facilitate this. they did a great job of hammering in the regret and choice themes to the point it was like beating a dead horse with a stick. and there are a few good lines that kind of give this vibe (“you’re not JUST the inquisitor, right?” “they call me the dread wolf, what will they call you when this is over?” “there is no fate but the love we share,” a codex from felassan about solas being forced to play into the dread wolf persona, etc.) but they probably could’ve added a few more to talk about mythological apotheosis and choice in the context of fate rather than just in the context of regret, and it would’ve helped at least a bit.
so i fully understand peoples discomfort with the ending as a result. i think it’s a logical conclusion to come to based on how the story presents itself. however im pretty confident that this mythological vibe was tricks intention, based on a lot of their comments about their writing process and inspiration for solas, and the way they have written him overall. @corseque has a lot of amazing posts in her solas tag that talk specifically about the very deliberately mythological way that weekes wrote solas, and i think this is essential context for understanding the ending that the game simply does not sufficiently provide. it also definitely invalidates a lot of people's perceptions of not just their inquisitor, but the solavellan romance as well. however i hope me blabbing about how it can be absolutely brilliant when viewed through a specific lens might help people feel more at peace with it <3
#OK U GUYS HAVE TO STOP PROMPTING ME TO WRITE ESSAYS I HAVE TO GO DO WORK JERHGKJERHGJKREG#but thank u for this <3#solavellan#solas#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#da:v spoilers#dav spoilers#mine.txt#meta#ask
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@panacea420 : Porto Rico doesn't want statehood. Why. The people would lose their free money. Yes, they get money they won't vote for statehood . Second Trump trying to clean out Washington is a good thing. Think. A more efficient government. More money to keep in your pocket. Third my biggest hope will be flat rate taxes. Think. If we're supposed to be equal then we should pay a flat tax no deductions. Every person bissness. No give backs. Think. About it billionaires can't use tax breaks. If you make a buck pay a dime. No one gets a break. Were equal under the law. Plus a simple 5% national sales tax. Another way to make corporations pay their fair share. (After they try to say we didn't make a profit or pay their ceos too much. ) think about it?? Also stock options still you have to pay taxes on them as income. Then if the make money on them they pay again. Unlike the current policy. Of only when they cash out . Flat taxes are the only fair taxes I am a liberaltarian. Not a republican. And a registered independent. Why?? Think about this. If a political party thinks you'll vote for them no matter what. Then they will. Not care what you want??? Make each party work for your vote. Just think about that . Used to live in Indiana they didn't have a independent group why?? Again think about it. If both party's are in. Bed with each other?? Dick Chaney was the most hated person by the democrats now he was working with the democrats to keep Trump from winning???? Again think about this please
Sir this is a Wendy's and I have no idea why you put these replies on my post. Anyway, let's get a few things straight:
"Porto Rico doesn't want statehood. Why. The people would lose their free money" Puerto Rico has affirmatively voted for statehood four times over the past decade: in 2012, 2017, 2020, and a week ago, on November 5th, 2024. Yes, the exact significance of various individual referendum results is heavily debated due to a variety of local politics (including referendum boycotts, leadership infighting, and differing status choices), but the point stands: Puerto Rico has voted for statehood several times in the past decade, including a 52.52%–47.48% win in 2020, when Biden won. Hence, why I noted that the Democratic trifecta should have done the correct thing and admitted both PR and DC as states immediately upon taking their seats.
Second Trump trying to clean out Washington is a good thing. Think. A more efficient government. More money to keep in your pocket.
One, this is not what's going to happen. By any objective standards, Trump ran an insanely corrupt, incompetent, and inefficient government during his first term in office. He's a six-time failed businessman and convicted felon who cozied up to corrupt dictators around the world and attempted to run the government like he was Vito Corleone. He was literally impeached for corruption and attempted intimidation of another world leader. He's not interested in "cleaning out" anything, and you're frankly stupid for thinking he is. Why on earth do you trust a corrupt businessman who partied with Jeffery Epstein for years to "clean house"? He is part of the problem you're complaining about.
Two, it's hilarious you think anything Trump does will "put more money in your pocket." He has no interest in helping you. He does not care about you. He will not put money in your pocket. He will not lower your rent or put more groceries in your shopping cart. He's a conman who only cares about himself and enriching his own family and billionaire friends. Or did you forget about how US billionaires got over $1 trillion richer during the four years of Trump's presidency, or how Trump personally reported that his businesses made over $1.6 billion dollars in the same timeframe (largely due to the aforementioned corruption and attempts to curry favor)?
What happened to you in that same time period? Did your wages go up? Did your healthcare get better? Were you finally able to buy a house? No. Because Trump doesn't care about you and your "normal working class person" problems, and never has.
Third my biggest hope will be flat rate taxes. Think. If we're supposed to be equal then we should pay a flat tax no deductions. Every person bissness. No give backs. Think. About it billionaires can't use tax breaks. If you make a buck pay a dime. No one gets a break. Were equal under the law. Plus a simple 5% national sales tax. Another way to make corporations pay their fair share. (After they try to say we didn't make a profit or pay their ceos too much. ) think about it?? Also stock options still you have to pay taxes on them as income. Then if the make money on them they pay again. Unlike the current policy. Of only when they cash out . Flat taxes are the only fair taxes
Flat taxes are regressive. People whose incomes are lower end up paying a larger portion of their income than rich people under that model! They do not create "equality." If you're actually concerned about making sure rich people and corporations "pay their fair share," I am begging you to understand that flat taxes do not accomplish that goal. Rich people WANT you to advocate for flat taxes because it means they end up paying less money. Please go sit in on a Political Economy 101 class, I am begging.
But since I'm nice, I'll give you the short tl;dr on why flat taxes are bullshit and make rich people richer, straight from the IRS:
Take a look at Chart A and Chart C. Look at the actual amount of money that Family A is left with vs. Family C in those two scenarios after you take out taxes. Now compare those numbers to Chart B. You taken a good look at those numbers? Do you understand why flat taxes would be useless at "making billionaires pay their fair share" now, when Family C ends up with $98,000 in Chart A and $80,000 in Chart C vs. the $70,000 they end up with in Chart B (the correct way to tax rich people)?
Finally:
I am a liberaltarian. Not a republican. And a registered independent. Why?? Think about this. If a political party thinks you'll vote for them no matter what. Then they will. Not care what you want??? Make each party work for your vote. Just think about that . Used to live in Indiana they didn't have a independent group why?? Again think about it. If both party's are in. Bed with each other?? Dick Chaney was the most hated person by the democrats now he was working with the democrats to keep Trump from winning???? Again think about this please
I have no idea what you're trying to say here with your rambly little rant except "I hate the system as it stands." Which like. fine. Whatever. so do a lot of us. But this has absolutely nothing to do with anything I actually said and no, actually I don't have to "think about it." I would actually very much like you to shut up and stop rambling incoherently in my replies about something that is wholly irrelevant to the content of my post.
Anyway, this is all to day...sir, this is a Wendys and I am uninterested in you. Go back to high school civics class and come back only when you can actually explain to me, a political staffer, how any level of government (federal, state, or local) actually works on a basic, operational level.
Ok it's been 24 hours and my official post-mortem is literally just "Elizabeth Warren was right: Democrats should have appointed an Attorney General who was committed to prosecuting Trump and everyone who enabled him, cleaned house of Trump's appointees, nuked the filibuster to pass DC and Puerto Rico statehood, and prioritized dealing with corruption"
#us politics#this is partially why I stopped talking politics on here lmao. bc I CONSTANTLY get weirdos on my posts whenever I do so
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hey there! i don’t mean this in bad faith at all, and i’m not trying to use a term that’s a fascist dogwhistle. i promise i’m just confused😭
so i’m not a guy, nor have i ever been perceived as one, but in one of your recent posts, you said that men can’t experience oppression solely based on the fact that they’re men. which was kind of confusing to me — i don’t think you’re wrong, i think it’s me but i don’t know how to get to how you see it like that.
because in my experience, men can experience oppression because they’re men, although i don’t know if i’m saying that right or conflating the meanings of certain terms. i’m probably wrong, and would just love some clarification?
for example, my brother and i were always held to different standards growing up — it was expected of me to always cry and be emotional, and i was a ‘stone cold bitch’ if that wasn’t the case, but if my brother wanted to show negative emotions like sadness he was treated like there was something wrong with him too. and i know it wasn’t my brother — i spend a lot of time working with my high school’s diversity team, and in a lot of the events we organise, guys talk about how they feel enormous pressure to be angry and never sad, and to have stereotypically masculine interests and never deviate from that norm.
i also know men who’ve struggled to get jobs such as teaching as those are viewed as ‘female’ jobs and it’s a common view that men who want those jobs are ‘only in it to be around kids’. i’ve heard many women around me perpetuate sentiments like that, so i know they’re not making it up, even if it isn’t equal to the systematic oppression women face in almost every aspect of their careers.
i’m not providing these examples to prove you wrong, since i do think you’re right. i’m hoping that a window into the way i’ve always thought might help you clarify this in a way that can help me to change my mind, since i just think i’m lacking some clarity or context here. i think i’m conflating abuse and stereotypes with oppression, but i’m really not sure. any advice would be really appreciated!
i’m so sorry if this comes off badly, i don’t mean it that way. i’m just trying to learn, i promise i’m not trying to promote the kind of hate and close mindedness you’ve been seeing in your inbox as of late.
Hi! As always, I do not mind answering genuine questions!
The things you're talking about growing up and seeing boys around you pressured to present only certain emotions, that's part of the patriarchy!
Certain emotions are supposed to be "feminine" and thus boys shouldn't show them, while girls are often always considered "emotional" in some fashion. That's not oppression based on those boys being men that you're talking about.
It's the backlash that the patriarchy, and by addition trans/misogyny has on men. It's boys being pressured not to show certain emotions because those emotions are "feminine" and they're supposed to associate feminimity with weakness and shit.
What you're talking about there is also trans/misogyny!
The idea that men who do things perceived as feminine are predators, the idea that specific jobs are "female" jobs [while even in those specific female jobs, men are generally paid better and find it easier to get into those jobs than women trying to get into traditionally "male" jobs"]
[Though obviously this varies based on race and whether they're trans, etc, etc.]
To be a little more clear, all of the things you're talking about don't primarily affect cis men/boys. They fuck up transfems, because it's trans/misogyny.
You're right! It's not systemic oppression.
You might wonder if it's social oppression, which is also a no. Social oppression would require a historical/systemic oppression behind it. But that doesn't exist in this case.
What it is is the common issue oppressors run into. While they benefit greatly from oppression, there is also backlash they face from their own systems of oppression.
Like white people who fall into suicide cults trying to work towards white supremacy, or TERFs who fall into groups where they slowly pick each other off as they discover they're not all exactly the same and wind up accusing each other of not being "real" women, systems of bigotry simply do not work out perfectly even for the oppressors.
They never do.
To create the patriarchy, you must establish trans/misogyny, you must establish intersexism and you must push people to conform to those ideals, even if they hurt your own.
It's similar to how white supremacy can harm white people, despite white people obviously not being oppressed racially. The backlash of oppression hits even the oppressors sometimes.
Suppression, as a term, would honestly work far better to describe what you're talking about.
So yes, it's stereotyping, yes it's abusive to tell your children not to show/feel their emotions but it's not oppression based on these guys in your life being men! It's part of how trans/misogyny, transphobia and intersexism are enforced.
I understand exactly where you're coming from! It doesn't sound bad and I genuinely don't mind answering questions! Especially since you've got some good ones!
I'm not sure if I rambled too much to explain this properly but I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions and/or need me to clarify anything here. <33
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Racing Hearts Pt. 5
Pairing: F1!Driver!JasonTodd x Reporter!Reader
A/N: sorry for the late late late update 😭 i was having so much problems with trying to enjoy this series again that I felt that if i rushed it it would ruin the series for not just me but a lot of people. Thank you for all the patience and i hope u enjoy this much needed chapter. ENJOY and flowers for all of u 😫💐 like if you’re comfortable and please tell me your thoughts as the story continues <3
Check out the Racing Hearts Masterlist!
Word Count: 1.9k (sorry but i’ll work my way up again 💪)
Jason finally had time to check his phone. He removed any miscellaneous notifications he forgot to silent before getting to the track this morning, but he was checking for a familiar name and icon.
It was like a little surge was invading his bones. He couldn’t help smiling at your conversations, it was like he was back to a teenager nervously trying to talk to a crush, but he didn’t have a lot of experience with those.
The times he rarely did have a fling, he kept it private, left it before it could be a scandal that he would be chewed out for.
But this.
This was new. He knew it was different when he was trying to get any attempt to still make sure you were fine with being with him.
What really made his stomach churn was when he couldn’t bring you to the airport to see him off. It felt wrong to leave your place without you behind him, leaving you to kiss only him goodbye, but not asking to follow him to the airport.
He tried to brush off the feeling the entire flight, but he couldn’t squish the thought that he wanted you here. That other than a quick romance, he could talk to you about his personal life, and he was fighting to throw you on the next plane so you could watch him race.
Maybe a dramatic kiss after he won would be nice. But, that was too cliché.
While deep in his thoughts, Roy tried to peak over Jason’s shoulder, trying to see what he was looking at, but it was not smart to try that on such a tall man. All he could manage to see was an open browser with plane flights.
“You tryna leave me here by myself?” Roy calmly asked, keeping his eyes down at the phone.
Jason frowned, not surprised at the nosey man.
“You get a little friend and now you want to leave me?” Roy feigned tears, placing his hands gently onto Jason’s shoulders. “If you must, then go! I can get us a championship. I can handle that for us.”
Jason sighed, closing his phone.
“Shouldn’t you be watching Lian? Why are you bothering me and what are you talking about?” He asked.
“Lian’s always with the crew, she’s more interested in the buttons than behind the wheel—don’t try to distract me, I’m not stupid, Jaybird. I knew you were a two timer.” Roy pointed an accusing finger into Jason’s face. “I saw that interview and I know that look in your eyes. I even commented on that video.”
“Uh, huh.” Jason ignored him and walked away, this time looking back at his phone to try to type, not reacting to Roy’s antics.
“I’m surprised your brothers haven’t bothered you about it. Dick’s gonna be jealous when I tell him you’re trying to get a flight back for love.” Roy aimlessly followed Jason, adjusting the cap on his head as he playfully wiggled his brows.
“That dickwad is probably too busy hiding behind a badge for that. He needs to find better things to do than bother me.” Jason stopped pacing, looking back at the red hair tail that can’t seem to get off him. “And you need to watch your daughter and also stop bothering me.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” Roy sung. “Just me and you on this track forever, plus Lian, never leaving each other while we embrace—with Lian, of course.” He opened his arms for a hug.
Jason gave Roy an impassive look, not bothered to even give him an expression.
Still with open arms and a smile on his face, Roy waited before a small voice shouted out.
“JayJay! JayJay!” Lian’s small shout catches Roy’s attention.
“My Lian!” Roy reached out to grab his daughter walking with one of the crew members, finally relieving them from their babysitting duty. “No Jaybird today, Lian, he’s trying to run away.” He cooed happily to his daughter as she laughed, large noise cancelling headphones were bouncing around her neck and a bright smile spread on her face as he booped her nose.
“I’m not—the flight isn’t for me.” Jason sighed, not willing to look at Roy fully in the eyes.
Roy’s eyes widened as he heard the admission. A small silence lingered.
Lian broke the pause by reaching out for Jason. She made small grabby hands before he immediately gave in to grab her underneath her arms, settling on his chest.
She whispered a small “JayJay” before laying her head down, exhausted from an hour of playing while Roy and Jason were busy racing in the practice sessions.
While Jason patted Lian’s back soothingly, Roy watched as the two most important people in his life were embracing. It brought a smile to his face.
“I’m happy for you, Jaybird.”
It was all that was said between the two as Lian closed her eyes, but Jason felt content. He was given support.
—
“I’m never afraid of the track, it’s the fastest you can ever be on the ground and I wanna be the best.” Jason spoke to the interviewer on your TV screen, the Australian sun surrounding his face.
“How important is this race for you?” The off-screen voice asked Jason.
“Every race is important. I’ve gotten RedBull multiple wins these past couple years and I want to add another one. I feel better than I’ve ever have.”
You sat on your couch, dinner in your lap, watching your partner on screen wave goodbye, giving one final dazzling smile while taking off to his car.
He looked like he was in his element, a kind of happiness that only sprouted in him from Formula 1. A kind of motivation used for racing.
“Welcome to another race of the Formula One World Championship. What a great weekend to continue a new season.” The introduction boomed from your TV, setting up the Sunday excitement, ready to end another race weekend.
Ding. Ding. Your phone notifications rung next to you as you took a bite of your dinner.
You: I told you to hold a peace sign to the camera, now you owe me dinner
(Handsome) Mr. Todd: *thumbs down your message*
You laugh at your phone screen.
You: Loser
(Handsome) Mr. Todd: *thumbs down your message*
You: Send me a picture of you in your gear
As you wait for the reply, your TV catches your attention. A driver you’ve never seen before now standing in front of the microphone.
“Todd? How is that guy a threat? He just hides behind the RedBull emblem, but he’s nothing but another racer.” The raspy voice sent a chill through you.
“Jason Todd is a back-to-back four-time World Champion, do you plan on breaking that streak?” The interviewer pressed on.
“Ha! Like that’s hard, did you see how he crashed his vehicle last year? Bet he wouldn’t want that happening again, huh?” The man’s voice twisted something in you.
Formula 1 did have it’s competitive moments, but how was someone like this rude man competing?
Ding.
(Handsome) Mr. Todd: please I am more than my body
Despite Jason’s words, a flattering picture of him came in. A good look at his hands and body in the RedBull uniform. Gosh, you missed him.
You saved the photo with a smile on your face. A new lock screen.
You: don’t injure that pretty face of yours <3
“Thank you for the interview, good luck on your race.” The interviewer finished up, stepping in front of the camera to replace the rude driver.
You glanced up to get one final look at the screen, watching the rude racer walk away, expecting him to get bombarded with another interviewer and a brand new set of cameras, but he walked in a different direction, away from the crowd.
You were confused at the racer breaking the long chain of interviews happening on race day.
At the very edge of the camera, you could see the racer joining another man, adorned in a suit, turning his head sideways, but you couldn’t recognize who that was.
You whipped out your laptop. Maybe you missed an upcoming rookie the last year or there must’ve been a change you missed in the racing industry.
Your mind buzzed remembering the blurry man putting his arm around the rookie racer before your ringtone shouted at you.
Life is a Highway started to play as Jason’s contact picture brightened on the screen, a nice side view picture of his smiling face when you took him out for dinner.
You quickly picked up.
“Hey Jay! How’s Australia?” You gleefully asked, contrasting glancing back and forth to the TV screen and your laptop before the camera changed to the racetrack, no longer seeing the mysterious men.
“It’s fun when Roy isn’t talking his ass off.” Jason’s voice faded as he yelled at Roy to back off from him. “I gotta race soon, but I just wanted to hear ya before I had to leave. God, I miss you.”
Your breath hitched hearing Jason be so direct. You tried to reason with yourself that it was from the adrenaline before the race, but it made you feel like you were floating off the couch.
“I miss you too. Maybe when you have a chance to get back here, we can go out to eat like we normally do.” You suggested, a little more brightness in your voice.
You watched the compilation of Jason’s previous races playing on the screen. You saw him zooming down the narrow lanes at horrifying speeds as you heard him softly speak to you through your phone.
“I wanna fly you out here before then. I mean, I’ll be down for Vegas, but that’s too long. I gotta get you down here next to me.” Jason’s voice smoothly went in and out of your ears.
Your felt yourself reddening at his delightful words to you.
“I’ll see what I can do about work leave, but maybe i’ll take a couple sick days?” You spoke to Jason, happiness surging through you. “I would really love to fly out there.”
A loud engine roared through your phone, cutting off Jason’s voice briefly.
“Shit, sorry about that, I gotta go. I lo—” Jason hesitated before he was about to end the call, following up by several louder engines revving, overshadowing his voice despite how close he was to the phone. “I, uh, I’ll call you later.”
“Stay safe, Jay.”
“Wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Beep.
The call clicked to end. No longer hearing the bustle around Jason as he was inching closer to his race.
Your heart beat rapidly in your ears as you continued to hold your phone in your hand despite the call ending moments ago.
You can’t assume.
There are numerous words that start with that sound. Maybe it was a mistake?
—
“What the fuck, Roy?” Jason yelled over Roy revving his engine multiple times. “I was almost done—will you stop—Roy!”
Roy lifted his foot, no longer making the obnoxious noise.
“Get your helmet on, we gotta go. If you win, then you can talk on the phone all ya want.” Roy was ready to pull onto the track. “Unless you want to stay on the phone and I can win this for us?”
Roy laughed as he sped off.
Jason sighed in disbelief as he walked back to get make sure the final checks on his car were done.
Roy was the only one who could compete with him on the track, so maybe his words weren’t just to instigate him.
He needed to focus because he wanted to see you and win while you were with him.
Jason put on his helmet, getting any last-minute safety precautions checked before he got the signal to drive out.
Tag List: @jaybirdstreet @kalzzen @meowkn @velvetberries @i0lovepink00 @rayaskoalaland @spidernuggets @janybabyy @deimks @yasmin-oviedo @bigraga-sk @indulgentdaydream @uhhellnogetoffpleasenowty @idontknowanythingsblog @xakilicious @livvyliv15 @whatsupstark @maxi-ride @kolmikaelsonslover
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After a very long week of diving headfirst into this fandom I think it’s only right that the champagne bottle we smash into this here ship is a four thousand word Chuuya x reader. Here’s to what I’m sure will be another few years of this, everyone; hope everyone is down.
Candies
He was glaring at you.
You had no idea when he got on the train. You did not care enough to wonder. What you knew was that he— the man in the hat on the opposite side of the train car— had been looking at you for the past three stops, and while you were fairly certain that you had no idea who he was, you were almost as certain that whoever he thought you were had another thing coming from how intensely he was watching you. Sure, he had the decency to look embarrassed by his staring, but that in no way stopped him from looking at you like you had something to apologize for. It was disconcerting. It was borderline creepy. But neither of you moved, because it was a train, and the two of you would not see each other again anyway.
The train slowed to a stop. Most people filed off. You did not. Neither did the man. You checked your watch, head falling back as you considered the pros and cons of waiting for the next train. You would have to eat dinner late, but you would not have to wonder why exactly he seemed to hate you this much for nothing.
You heard the rustling of clothing next to you. “Excuse me.”
You opened your eyes to the man. You took him in, identified any features that might be helpful for a police report: cold eyes, reddish hair, too many layers. Pretty, but not reassuring. You pulled your headphones off, fearing the worst. “May I help you?”
A pause.
You smiled tentatively. “Is something wrong?”
“I’ll give you five hundred thousand yen if you’ll go out with me.”
You blinked. “Excuse me?”
Reality seemed to catch up with him. “Shit. Uh.” He pulled his hat off, fiddling with the brim as he lowered his eyes. “Is that too little? I can go higher.”
“Do you think I’m a hooker?”
“Huh?”
You leaned away from him a bit. “What kind of thing is that to ask someone? ‘What’s your price?’ Seriously?”
The realization seemed to strike him like a baseball bat to the head. He immediately backpedaled. “That’s not— shit, I mean, that’s not what I meant to—“ he stammered. “I— no, I didn’t mean anything like that!”
“Yeah?” You raised your eyebrows. “That work for most people, asking them what they charge for a night? For fuck’s sake, man.”
“Hey!” He sat up, defensive. “I never said I wanted to take you home!”
You crossed your arms. “Then what exactly are you trying to do?”
“Ask you on a date!”
“You sure have a funny way of doing it.”
He huffed, face red. “Look,” he grumbled, “I don’t ask many people on dates; I’m trying my best here.”
“You could just ask me,” you pointed out. “You could ask me in a way that doesn’t involve offering me money.”
He rolled his eyes, seemingly— and audaciously— annoyed. “I can’t just walk up to a stranger and ask them on a date. Why would you go? You don’t know me; what if I’m a creep? How do you know if I’m worth the time?”
An incredulous smile crept onto your lips. “And you thought that offering me money would make you seem less creepy?”
“At least then you have a reason to show up! At least then I have a financial interest in showing you a good time!” He buried his face in his hands. “It took me a while to get this far and my stop is next and I do not have the time nor ability to actually woo you.”
The absurdity of this whole situation— the sight of an extravagantly dressed pretty boy bemoaning his romantic failings— was starting to get to you. “This all seems like a lot for someone you just met.”
He sat up quickly, steam practically pouring from his ears. “Well,” he explained seemingly in an attempt to regain some composure, “I may not know you yet, but I know that I’ve never seen anyone who looks as good as you do, and we’re on a train; I may never get the chance to see you again if I don’t do something right this second.”
You grinned. “Really?”
“Really. I am fucking this up.”
“A bit,” you agreed. “But you’re bringing it back around, calling me hot.”
He brightened. “I am?”
You shrugged. “More or less, yeah.”
His hands were shaking. You wondered how long they had been doing that. “Well,” he mumbled, “does that mean your answer isn’t a hard no?”
You leaned back in your seat. “I can be convinced,” you said. “Try again.”
He cleared his throat. “Hello.” He made eye contact with you again, the sharpness you had assumed was being weaponized against you seemingly inherent in his gaze. You tried, for a moment, to make out what color his eyes were, but the answer seemed to elude you. “My name is Nakahara Chuuya.”
“Hello, Nakahara Chuuya.” You crossed your legs. “See, this is better. Keep going.”
He gave you a confused look. You liked him, you decided. “Well,” he continued, disgruntled, “I couldn’t help but notice you. You’re easy to see.”
“Interesting word choice, but alright.”
He shot you a look. “You’re nice to look at. Is that better?”
Your smile softened. “Much. Keep going.”
He looked down at his hat. “I was wondering,” he continued, “if you were already spoken for.”
You snorted. “Spoken for?”
“Single,” he amended, irritated. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
You stretched out your legs in front of you, thoroughly enjoying this. “I am both single and without boyfriend,” you assured him.
He nodded sternly. “Then, can I take you out? On a date?”
You considered it for a moment. “Yeah, sure.”
He blinked. “Really?”
“Really.” You leaned back in your seat. “You’re cute, and I don’t think you’ll murder me, and those are my two big requirements, so.”
He chuckled. “High bars. No wonder you’re single.”
“What can I say? I’m hard to please.” You dug around in your coat for a pen, holding your palm up towards you. “What’s your number?”
The redhead paused. “I don’t have a number right now,” he said. “I’m having trouble with my provider. I can give you a time and place, though.” He held out a gloved hand. “May I?”
You gave him the pen and your bare hand. Quickly, he scribbled down an address (someplace in Yokohama), a date (the next Saturday) and a time (six o’clock). As he finished, the train came to a halt at the platform, doors opening with a quiet hiss.
Nakahara Chuuya stood up, fixing his pork pie hat securely atop his head before straightening out his clothes and giving you a stiff nod. “I will see you then,” he promised. “If you’re late by more than fifteen minutes, I’ll assume you stood me up.”
You gave the strange man a smile. “I’ll come early, then.”
He averted his eyes. “Thank you.” And with that, he left you on the train with a date, a time, and a great deal of confusion.
Foolishly, you showed up. You lived neither in nor near Yokohama. Getting to the address the man had given you— which he wrote with poor penmanship— took you some time too. You went through the trouble of dressing as well as he had been the day you met him— which was more formal than you would typically be for a first date with a stranger you met on a train— and went so far as to plan to be there fifteen minutes early. You had no idea why you were so interested in the man. You had no inclination as to what possessed you to show up to meet a stranger in the first place; after all, his assumption that you might think of him as some sort of predator would have been a reasonable one to make. But you had an inarticulable feeling that told you that this meeting would be worth your time.
Or you just thought he was pretty. You weren’t sure which it was.
The address he had given you brought you to a small restaurant close to the Tsurumi river which, if its sign was to be believed, primarily dealt in soba. Despite your planning, you arrived a mere five minutes early instead of fifteen which, in your defense, was still early, but apparently not so early that your date did not beat you there. As you approached him, a look of bewilderment briefly crossed his face.
“Damn,” you joked. “I thought I’d get here first.”
He looked over your shoulder. “You came,” he said, sounding surprised.
“I did,” you confirmed.
“Alone.”
“I was unaware I was meant to bring a plus one on a date.”
“No, I just mean—“ He stopped himself. “Whatever. I’m glad you came.”
You held your hands behind your back. “So am I, though I’m feeling a bit self conscious now.” You looked down at your clothes, then back to his. He had dressed much more casually than you in a loose, short sleeve button up, loose pants and a large dark jacket. He had kept the hat and the choker— which you had not until that moment realized you remembered— but you looked too formal next to him. “I thought you would dress the way you did on the train.”
He gave you a once over. “You look fine,” he said. “You look great, actually. Don’t worry about it.”
A smile spread across your face. “You've gotten more confident since then, too. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t look totally plain next to you is all; you look so stylish.”
He paused, eyes cast down towards his feet. “Thank you. I drank before I came.” He opened the door to the restaurant for you.
You walked past him. “Thank you. Did you drive?”
“Nah.” He shut the door behind the two of you. “This place is out of the way enough to make it not worth the trouble to park. I walked.” He nodded to the hostess, who sat the two of you in a corner away from the door.
The restaurant was a hole-in-the-wall: exposed crossbeams, warmly lit, nearly empty despite it being a Saturday. You took your seat across from him as the woman set a cup of water in front of each of you, leaving you to your conversation. She made no eye contact with either of you before she left. You picked up your cup, taking a sip as he draped his coat over the back of the seat and set his hat beneath his chair. The gloves, however, stayed on. “How long was the walk?” you asked.
“Not far. A couple minutes.” His elbows came to rest on the table. “I can walk you back to your car if you drove, or to the train station if you need. Just let me know.”
“Thank you.” You took a menu from the center of the table, scanning it absently. “To be honest, I’m glad you asked me to do something earlier in the evening; I’m not super interested in being on my own in the dark.”
He hummed in agreement. “Nobody does. I have work to take care of later, but I can’t imagine wanting to stay out past twelve alone otherwise.”
You groaned sympathetically. “Terrible. What do you do?”
He paused. “I… it’s complicated.” He laced his fingers together. “I operate a shipping company under a parent organization operating out of Yokohama. I technically and practically own the shipping company, but I can’t legally operate it unless it’s under the parent organization, so I have all the stress of a business owner with none of the freedom.”
Your lips twitched nervously. “Are you on a list or something? Why can’t you operate a business?”
“What do you– oh.” The brief look of confusion left his face. “I’m a skill user.”
“A what?”
“You know,” he repeated, “a skill user?”
You stared at him blankly.
“I have a gift?”
“Isn’t that a dog whistle?”
“What? No!” He crossed his arms. “I have supernatural abilities.”
You considered it. “You know,” you mused, “I’ve never been on a date with a guy who came out as being possessed to me.”
He opened his mouth to protest, blinked. “Well,” he conceded, “I guess that’s what I’m saying, but that would be a bad assumption most of the time; most gifted users aren’t possessed.”
“Wait, seriously?” Skepticism and deep curiosity battled for supremacy in your mind. “By what?”
He shrugged. “A god, I guess?”
“You guess?”
“It’s complicated.” To your– and his– surprise, he laughed. “It’s funny; I can’t think of the last time I had to actually explain what my deal was.”
You cocked your head to the side. “Do most people just know?”
“More or less.” He shrugged again, looking towards the door. “It’s practical. I use it a lot.”
“I see.” You sat up, taking your cup and turning it over in your hands. “What does it do?”
He did not say anything for a second, brow furrowing. He looked back in your direction, holding out his hand. “Give me your cup.”
You did.
He set the cup down on the table. Slowly, as though it had been set in a pool of water, the cup began to float upwards. “My ability,” he explained simply, clearly taking pride in the way your eyes lit up in excitement and awe, “allows me to manipulate gravity for any object I touch.”
You reached out towards the cup, moving your hand above and below it. If there was a trick to what he was doing, you had no idea what it was. “That is so freakin’ cool,” you gushed softly. “How can you keep it from flying away?”
He was practically glowing. “Basically, I’m counteracting the force of Earth’s gravity for just this object by creating a second center of gravity that only affects the cup.” He pointed to a spot near the center of cup. “It’s around here. So long as the force of the gravitational field I'm creating is greater than Earth’s, the cup will naturally try and be as close to the center as possible. If the gravitational pull were too strong, the cup would go through that point–” he pointed towards the ceiling, “-- and through the roof before coming back down. But if the force is weak, it’ll stay right around the center.”
You took the cup, moving it towards you before letting go. As if attached to a string, the cup moved back to its place, the water inside is sloshing.
The pure, childlike joy on your face was enough for the man across from you to forget, for a moment, the price of his gift.
The date continued on. The two of you went back and forth on a variety of simple, surface level topics. You learned that Chuuya was a dog person and that he enjoyed fashion. He said he had been in Yokohama practically all his life. He told you about his coworkers– no details, but enough to get a sense for the type of Motley Crew they were– and how that day was an anniversary for something, though he never got around to telling you what it was an anniversary of. At one point, before your food had gotten to the table, you asked about his gloves, which he had apparently not realized he was still wearing. He explained that he wore them all the time– he said it made work easier– but that he did have the good sense to take them off.
“I’m not a monster,” he had insisted. “I don’t want to get food on them.”
The conversation was surprisingly easy. He was nervous at first and clearly inexperienced– an observation that you chose to keep to yourself– but funny and over dramatic in a way that made the discussions flow jovially between the two of you. He was a sailor-mouthed, irreverent, sensitive man, you found, and he seemed to take great pleasure in your company and a surprising interest in the more tedious parts of your life: your occupation, your friends, your earlier life, all of which he found strangely fascinating. Though you knew little of substance about him by the end of the meal you shared, you could not shake the feeling that the sort of things you learned– the simple, stupid things most people gave out as icebreakers– held more weight than you could understand.
But you were grateful, nonetheless. You enjoyed talking to him.
Despite your protests, he paid for the both of you, and the two of you left the restaurant cracking up over some embarrassing story about school.
“Three days straight?”
You waved him off, laughter still bubbling from your throat. “I know; it was stupid!” you cried. “I swear I was possessed; by the end of it I thought there was a chance– assuming I didn’t have heart attack first– that I was immortal.” You sighed, trying to regain composure; you were gigglier than normal. “But I passed the class, so fuck that guy.”
He set his hat back on his head, pushing it down to rest snugly. “Fuck that guy,” he agreed, having about as much success as you did in wiping the stupid smile off his face. “God– being a teenager fucking sucked.”
“Dude, amen to that.” You looked in his direction, tears from the cold and from excessive laughter in your eyes. “Chuuya,” you sighed happily, “I am having an excellent time.”
“What a coincidence,” he grinned. “So am I.”
You looked up at the sky, which was significantly darker than you thought it would be; you supposed that you had spent more time in the restaurant than you thought. “I shouldn’t walk back to the station any later on my own, though.” You slipped your hands into your own pockets. “So–”
“Can you stand to be out later if I can get you back to the train?” He cleared his throat, apparently hearing the eagerness in his voice as clearly as you did. It was the same eagerness he had when he first asked you here. “What time is it?”
You took your phone from your coat, flipping it open. “Nine-ish.”
“Nine?” He pursed his lips. “Shit, I— no, I can make that work.” He leaned his weight onto one side. “I have to get somewhere at eleven, but it’s not a formal thing.” He looked away, swallowing. “If you want to, I mean.”
You held out your hand to him. “Nothing in this moment would make me happier than spending more of my time with you, Chuuya.” You wiggled your fingers in invitation. “Where should we go?”
He was staring at you, at your body bathed in the warm light streaming from the restaurant’s windows, at your face which betrayed nothing but pure intentions, to your hand which you offered him freely. He wondered if you knew how easy it would be to kill you if he touched you. He wondered if that was something someone like you considered at all.
“Chuuya?”
He blinked, clearing his throat. It did not matter. He took your hand. “Sorry.” He was breathless. “Lost in thought.”
You let him pull you closer, nudging him playfully with your side. “You’ll end up swallowing a fly if you keep your mouth open like that,” you teased. “Do you really like looking at me that much?”
He straightened up, heat flushing his cheeks. “So what if I do?”
“Well, I don’t imagine it’d taste very good.”
He snorted. “Shut up.” He nudged you back, looking forward. “We can sit by the river for a while if you’d like; the streets will be sketchy here pretty soon but nobody goes by the part of the river we’re by.”
“Really? How come?”
He shrugged. “It’s impractical. Nobody important goes to the river, anyway.”
“Nobody important?”
“Huh? Oh, right; you’re not from around here.” He looked back in the direction of the river, starting to lead the two of you there. “The Port Mafia doesn’t dump bodies into the rivers; they throw them out by the dock.”
“The mafia?” You started. “What, like La Cosa Nostra?”
“What you do and don’t know is really confusing.” He rolled his eyes. “The Port Mafia is a smuggling ring operating primarily out of the city; it has nothing to do with the Italian mob.”
“Oh.” You squeezed his hand, following close behind. “That’s terrifying.”
“It is?”
“To know that people are just chucking bodies frequently enough that you know about it? And that there’s more than one group doing it?” You tittered nervously. “I mean, I’d heard a little about Yokohama, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”
He squeezed your hand back, looking over his shoulder in your direction. A wry smile crossed his face. “Huh. That’s funny.”
You walked a bit faster to stay beside him. “What’s funny?”
“That you think it’s weird. I guess it never occurred to me that it was strange.” He tugged you to his side. “You don’t need to be scared, though; I’ll protect you.”
“Oh, will you?”
He shot you a look. “What,” he challenged, “you don’t think I can?”
“I never said that,” you protested. “It was just a very old-fashioned thing to say.” You lowered your voice to a growl. “‘Don’t worry, dollface; I’ll protect you.’ It sounds like something you’d hear in a noir.”
He opened his mouth to argue, considered it. “I guess if you found that weird, that would be an odd thing to say, wouldn’t it?”
“A little, yeah.”
“Because what would you need protecting from?”
“Exactly.”
A funny look came onto his face. “That’s funny,” he repeated. “That’s…” He trailed off, slowing to a stop on the road.
You looked back at him. “Is something wrong?”
“Nothing,” he mumbled. “Just that…” Startling eyes– they seemed to shine under the streetlamps– met yours. “You said you stayed up for three days straight,” he said. “Do you sleep well now?”
You looked away. “I don’t know if I sleep well, exactly; I don’t sleep as much as I should, at least.”
“But it feels normal, doesn’t it? To not sleep much?”
“I suppose.” You turned to face him properly.
His gaze shifted from you to the sky. “You know, I just remembered something.” He started to walk again, pulling you behind. “When I was little, none of us– none of the people I hung out with– had much pocket money, so we made a game out of stealing from the convenience stores in town. The competition was to see who could pay for as little as possible without getting banned from the store. I was never really good at it because I was an easy to read kid, but I remember always going for those… what do you call them? Bonbons?” He made a circle with his thumb and forefinger. “The little wrapped chocolates. I’d always shove one into my pocket because they were always left out and who’s going to give a kid shit for taking a piece of candy?”
You followed beside him quietly, watching him.
He continued. “The other day,” he said, “I went into a convenience store for the ATM, and I must have withdrawn twenty thousand yen or something like that– a good amount. I bought a pack of gum before I left because I didn’t want to be the asshole that just uses an ATM and leaves, and I realized– I think I’d walked a block away when I did– that I had one of those candies in my pocket.” He led you off the path. “I guess I must’ve picked it up while I was paying for the gum. They weren’t even the good chocolates; they were the hundred yen ones, and I knew why I’d grabbed that piece– because nobody’s going to lose their mind over a hundred whatever yen– but I couldn’t for the life of me remember why I’d grabbed it.”
The two of you came to a stop by the riverbed. It was quiet for a Saturday. The water shone under the moonlight, and the man beside you– whose gaze was now transfixed by the reflection– stood next to you, seemingly lost in thought.
You never let go of his hand. “Being a kid kinda sucks,” you said, running your thumb over his clothed knuckles. “You usually don’t have many responsibilities, but you don’t know enough to know what you should and shouldn’t get involved with.”
He looked to you.
“And you get so jealous of the Huck Finn kids– you know the type: no responsibilities, nobody to tell them no– until you get older and realize– too late– that the habits you picked up when you were left to your own devices probably weren’t the healthiest, but by the time you put that together they’re so deeply encoded in your being that they’re a part of who you are and part of how you got this far, so even if they’re unhealthy it’s not like you can give them up now.” You shivered. “It’s frustrating, looking back and thinking about what you could’ve been.”
The two of you stood there, staring at the water. Chuuya wrapped an arm around your shoulders, trying, in vain, to keep you from the cold.
Finally, he spoke. “I don’t think I’ve ever had this kind of conversation with anyone before.”
You closed your eyes, leaning against him. “It’s funny,” you said. “I don’t think I have either.”
His voice was soft. “I want to see you again.”
“So do I.”
“Then we should.”
“We should.”
You did.
#Chuuya#chuuya nakahara#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bsd chuuya#chuuya x reader#chuuya x you#nakahara chūya#nakaharachuuya#bsd nakahara#chuya nakahara x reader#bungou stray dogs#bungou sd#bunguo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd#very mild angst#but we’re starting off slow#fluff#mostly#chuuya is a loser#but we love him anyway
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wr.t. leaks (spoilers, duh!). Viv really chose the most boring and uninspired rendition of Alastor possible, and I could not be more disappointed. The signs were definitely there in Season 1, but if you wanted to you could easily dismiss as sloppy writing and one-time reactions to extraordinary events.
Like, I know no fan is *entitled* to have their particular interpretation of a character be validated, but... really? He's been reduced to the form of a one-dimensional, entitled manchild you might find as the villain of a self-insert fanfiction. Ohhhh nooo luci hurt his feefees and Rosie didn't actually make him an all powerful god, so time to storm out and whine about it. Why make a deal in the first place? Well, duh, he gleefully murdered so many people for trivial inconveniences he didn't wanna end up a tortured soul in Hell. He's basically Valentino, but, on the 'good team', and not a rapist (yet.), or Adam, or Vox, or Mammon, or Stella (frankly, you could even put Stolas in this bucket, if he weren't so unintentionally manipulative). A parody of a threatening character, incapable of creating conflict in any way that doesn't involve waving around a big stick and reminding everyone and the audience who the author blessed with magical power don't you forget it!
I've said this about pilot!fanon!Lucifer too, but, the fandom interpretations are just objectively more interesting. It's not like you can't write a story, or even a good story, about an entitled man drunk on power obsessed with his own image and getting what he thinks he's owed. But why would you 1) choose an enslaved racial minority character (!!!) to do this and 2) do it instead of multiple more compelling options given you already have multiple of this exact character on the cast?
Fanon!Alastor has emotions other than anger and insecure whining, he just can't express them because decades of crawling his way up two different hostile societies have beaten into him never expressing vulnerability. His very smile is symbol of societies like Hell ultimately victimize both the powerful abusers and their victims. Fanon!Alastor had a deal with ___ not because he's drunk on his own desire to murder but because he's vulnerable to the very same weakness and temptation he's learned to exploit in others. Fanon!Alastor has a natural dual conflict with Charlie: Alastor's connections and practical knowledge represent a way of making her dream a reality, at the cost of potentially corrupting her and having her get there in an incorrect/immoral way. And Charlie's dream presents Alastor with a pathway to more power and stability, but unbeknownst to him threatens to unwind his entire psyche in allowing himself to care about something. Fanon!Alastor, far from being image-obsessed with a need to be constantly in the limelight, is capable of being subtle, fading into the background when it benefits him.
I could go on, but I'm just tired. It hurts me that, come release, fan works which I enjoy making and reading will be expected to comply with this. I don't want to write Alastor this way. I don't want to be told I'm writing him 'wrong' for not doing it. I hope that in some way the earlier fanons are preserved and kept alive even as canon is polluted with all this slop.
It's sad and exhausting, for sure. It also doesn't help that the standom will attack you pretty viciously if you have the audacity to prefer the pilot to the actual series.
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OKAY HERE IT IS FOLKS!!! - thank you to @chaotically-gay and @paraphwrites for giving me permission to quote them :3
(i couldn’t figure out how to get the actual word doc in here without doxxing my email and real name so sorry for the shit formatting lmao 🧍- also let’s hope my prof doesn’t decide to look through my page and figure out who wrote this 😟😟)
also, the end is a bit EUGH bc i was nearing the deadline so pls pls don’t judge me too harshly 😬
also also, it was meant to be 2-3 pages… it’s 5 🧍 LMAO DONT ASK ME TO WRITE ABT MY POOKIES IF YOU DONT EXPECT THIS LEVEL OF COMMITMENT 😭😭
Sociological Concepts as They Relate to Netflix’s “Dead Boy Detectives”
Netflix and Steve Yockey’s Dead Boy Detectives is a TV show that effectively addresses several different sociological concepts such as sexuality and gender, race and ethnicity, and deviance, in a very refreshing and enlightening way. This program was released for streaming on April 25th, 2024, and its popularity skyrocketed among adolescents and young adults in particular, as it follows two boys who are eternally 16, living their afterlives as phantasmic detectives with a strong and diverse supporting cast. One of these protagonists, Edwin Payne (played by George Rexstrew), was alive in the mid-1910s whereas the other, Charles Rowland (played by Jayden Revri), lived in the late 1980s, yet they navigate the modern world as they interact with people from the current times, such as the primary supporting cast, Crystal Palace (played by Kassius Nelson), and Niko Sasaki (played by Yuyu Kitamura).
This show not only has a supernatural aspect to it, but it details stories of love, loss, and goodness despite the bad that must be faced. These themes hold significant relevance to the current times as we actively witness human rights lying up for debate. This show helps to teach people to remain kind in spite of the evils of the world.
One such example of the use of sociological concepts is the majority of well-represented queer characters. Many fans have reported feeling a sense of accuracy in the queer representation within this show far surpassing that of other queer content in media, as Tumblr user @diangelodork states, “this show exemplifies queerness through a queer light, and it’s very clear who the intended audience is for dbda” (dbda being a shortened form of Dead Boy Detectives commonly used by fans). Another user, @chaotically-gay, added to the sentiment within the same thread, writing, “i don’t really know how to explain it, but it’s like hs and rwrb have QUEER characters, while dbda has queer CHARACTERS,” when discussing this sense of representation in comparison to shows in the same vein of queer stories (hs standing for Netflix’s Heartstopper, and rwrb referencing Amazon Prime’s Red, White and Royal Blue, being a rather popular queer show and movie, respectively). It is very evident that the fanbase feels strongly about the importance of this show. It represents several different queer relationships, attractions, and identities whilst also never labeling a single one. One of the primary protagonists, Edwin Payne, has several different love interests, all of them being men, and he very clearly struggles with the implications of that, having been born in a time that oppressed him so heavily that his cause of death was, undoubtedly, his queer identity. Edwin was sacrificed to a demon for his lack of conformity and is even called an offensive term from the time period whilst being sacrificed, even though his queer identity is not given an explicit label. The Cat King (Lukas Gage) is another character that effectively plays with both his sexuality and gender presentation, acting as a symbol of desire within the show and wearing a skirt in nearly every scene he appears in. It is important to note that we see him acting as a symbol of lust and desire for Edwin, despite also having a romantic subtext with the female antagonist Esther Finch (Jenn Lyon). The difference here, once again, is the way that the show never forces stereotypes or conformity onto these characters, providing a more genuine and honest feel to the queerness exhibited within this show.
It also has a rather large focus on feminism, with a significant portion of the characters being strong and willful women who have explicit motivations that drive their characters rather than being considered flat supporting characters to the protagonists. There are several subplots that follow themes of female justice, power, and vengeance, especially within the character of Crystal Palace. In one episode of this show, episode 6, “The Case of the Creeping Forest,” Crystal enlists the help of all of the women in her bloodline, tapping into the feminine and mystical powers of all those women she descends from. Furthermore, the primary antagonist, Esther’s power, comes from a deal she made with a Goddess of wronged women to take vengeance upon those who harmed her in her past, harming young girls in her desire to maintain her power. She is then defeated in the name of justice for the young girls she took advantage of, which tells us that the focus on feminism is prevalent in both the motivation for the antagonist as well as in the protagonists and their eventual success.
Another sociological concept addressed within this show is the implications and mistreatment of individuals based on their race and ethnicity. One of the most prevalent characters, Charles Rowland, died because of his decision to stand up for a person who was part of a racial minority group. He saw a boy of Pakistani heritage being berated and physically assaulted and stepped in, the bullies redirecting their abuse onto him. He eventually died from his injuries. He himself states that it “Just didn’t seem right. Letting that kid get beat on ‘cause he’s from Pakistan. I mean, I’m half-Indian. Why am I so different?” To which Edwin replies that this is “…a fair point. They were the same country back when [he] was alive.” In this exchange, we see the boys break down the barriers of ethnicity and showcase how unimportant a thing like ethnicity is in relation to a person’s character when it can change in a matter of decades. Despite their generational gap, they can still connect and understand the lack of importance of their backgrounds. Furthermore, of the main four characters that we see, Niko, Crystal, Charles, and Edwin, only one of these is a Caucasian person; although, like how they treat the sexual and gender identities of the characters, they never play into any racial stereotypes. Their ethnicities make a small impact on their characters here, too, never shying away from the fact that Niko was born and raised in Japan, that Charles is half-Indian, or that Crystal is Black, but it never affects the plot in a significant or archetypal way. They are very clearly and adamantly racially diverse, but it is never made a spectacle or a show. Another Tumblr user, @paraphwrites, said, “he's lonely because he attends a boarding school [with] rich racist pricks. he's lonely because never once in his life has he admitted how the intersection of all his identities puts him in a situation where he is completely alone,” in reference to how Charles deals with the aspects of himself that isolate him. They touch on a very important aspect of his character, which is his intersectionality. The main topic of their original post was how this show caters to the lonely, discussing several instances in which the characters feel isolated and alienated from the world, Charles’ race and ethnicity are one of many reasons of this within his character in particular. They also discuss the parental abuse he faced and the subtext of his mother not doing anything to stop it. There is some subtext that the abuse he and his mother faced from his (White) father may have to do with his mother’s heritage and that they also faced suppression of expression of their culture by their father and husband, respectively.
Finally, the concept of deviance is represented in just about every aspect of this show. Edwin was murdered for his deviance from the norms of masculinity the times forced onto him, further deviating when he escapes Hell not once but twice, defying the institution he is forced into and having to resocialize into society. Charles deviates not only from the racial norms of the school he is in but also in his style, wearing punk clothing and an earring and refusing to follow the rules placed onto him by the Afterlife institution. Crystal is a deviant because she is neglected and ignored by her parents, causing her to lash out and cause problems for herself and others. Niko is a deviant because of her interests and her more childlike and whimsical nature. Jenny Green (Briana Cuoco) is a deviant because of her style, donning a neck tattoo and dark clothing in this somewhat conservative town.
All of these different concepts and ideas are well represented within this show. Marx’s conflict theory would have interpreted the show to be an indicator of the social change that happens through societal conflict. Had deviation in the same vein that the characters Charles and Edwin exhibited not occurred, society would be far more regressed than we see now through the more modern lens of characters like Niko and Crystal. Marx would say that all of these different characters, especially Charles and Edwin, experienced inequalities and that these inequalities gave power to the individuals who placed these boundaries on them, allowing for their groups to be pushed down even further. Postmodernist theory would likely have a stronger focus on the differences between Edwin and Charles in comparison to the characters like Niko and Crystal, looking at the way that they interact and especially at the way that they were/are treated in their respective time periods. Postmodernist theory would highlight the differences in the treatment and identities of the boys in comparison to the girls because of the times in which they were born, also looking at the differences between Edwin’s time period and Charles’ and how their different identities would have affected how they were raised.
Overall, this show successfully represents several different sociological concepts and is reflective of both this time period and the ones represented by the characters in the show. This provides for a very sociologically active show.
References
holy shit guys.
my assignment in my sociology class is to fucking write an essay on the sociological aspects of a favorite piece of media of mine.
THATS LITERALLY WHAT I DO EVERY NIGHT. I GET TO WRITE ABOUT THE IMPACT AND WAY THAT HUMAN SEXUALITY, GENDER (the emphasis on the feminine characters being well-rounded and dynamic as well as tck’s gender non-conformity), THE WAY RACE AND ETHNICITY (mainly charles’ death/the bullying of the pakistani boy that he stood up for), AND DEVIANCE (edwin going to hell for his orientation and then escaping hell which is an institution and how he has to resocialize into society as well as the way that the antagonists are presented) ARE REPRESENTED WITHIN DBDA. FOR A GRADE. I DO THAT SHIT FOR FUN ALL THE TIME. THIS IS THE BEST ASSIGNMENT EVER I LOVE COLLEGE 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️
#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#save dbda#we will save this show#essay writing#essay#college student#sociology#dbda meta#sociological concepts#erebus psychoanalyzes things nightly!#i <3 psychoanalyzing things!
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Right again • Tom Riddle x f!reader
Requested: No
Pairing: Tom Riddle x f!reader (+ SPOILER x f!reader)
Summary: Tom, who always thought relationships were meaningless, changed his mind when he met y/n. He plans on telling her how he feels, however, it doesn't go as planned, and he finds himself to be right - again.
Word count: 1.1K
Warnings: Fluff; angst; English is not my first language.
A/N: It wasn't supposed to be this long lmao. I will write the same plot with Mattheo, Draco, Lorenzo and Theo in the future - hopefully with a better title lol. PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET THIS FLOP OR YOU WON'T SEE ME ON HERE AGAIN LOL. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Sorry for the typos. Hope you enjoy it! xx
Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus @wolfyychan @blocked-zombieartist
Tom Riddle was in his dorm, one of the only places in Hogwarts where he could be by himself, and where he could be doing the things he enjoyed the most - studying and reading, both in silence. But, despite being currently sitting on his desk - always perfectly arranged -, he was not currently reading a book or studying. Instead, he was doing something he never thought he would do and was feeling something he never thought he would feel: thinking about a girl, and being nervous about a girl.
Contrary to Mattheo and his friends, Tom has never cared for relationships - he could barely bear being around Mattheo’s friends if serious, meaningful discussions or activities weren’t involved. Sure, he cared for Mattheo, more than he cared to admit, because they were of the same blood. And for Tom, blood was one of the things that mattered the most, alongside loyalty, knowledge and influence.
And y/n.
Tom had always thought Mattheo was the only person he could ever care for - after all, they needed to have some sort of loyalty towards each other if they wanted to have a chance to fight their father - but, just like he was surprised to learn he did not want to follow his father in his quest for tyranny, Tom was surprised to find himself caring for y/n.
Just like he had never cared for friendship, Tom had never cared for love. He did not think it was a weakness as his father did, but he did think it was not as important as people made it out to be. And, also, why care for love when something terrible, something that would likely cost lives was being prepared?
But then again, y/n challenged that idea. Despite being in the same house and the same year, it took Tom several years to properly notice her. He knew she was one of Mattheo’s close friends outside of his usual group, and that gave them occasions to spend time together. Strangely, Tom had first found her company more tolerable than the others - she seemed to understand his will for silence, deep conversations and his interests, seemed to have the same thirst for knowledge. She was kind as well, having what people called “a heart of gold”, always ready to help anybody in need. She was also warm and funny, two things she shared with Mattheo, and it usually didn’t take people enough to want to be her friend. Tom had considered y/n the closest thing he had to a friend, and he thought he would stay that way until, one day, he saw her and Mattheo sitting closer to each other than usual, and he felt something strange, something he didn’t expect to feel, and something he struggled to understand - jealousy. He didn’t think it was that at first, but it became obvious it indeed was jealousy when he found himself wishing that he was the one sitting next to her, and not Mattheo.
From that moment, he kept thinking about y/n in ways he had never done before - how beautiful she was, how he loved her smile, how he wanted to hold her hand, to smell her addictive perfume, to be the person who mattered most to her… how he wanted to hold and kiss her. He had considered those thoughts as foolish at first and tried to not have them, but everytime he was with y/n, they came back running, and he sometimes had to restrain himself from sitting closer to her just to smell her perfume when they were in class, or to hold her hand when they were studying in the library. He didn’t have anybody to ask questions to - Mattheo would laugh at him - so, like he always did, Tom gave himself the answer: it was love. At first, he thought it was only temporary and it didn’t even cross his mind to tell her about it, but he was forced to admit that, instead of disappearing, those feelings became stronger with each day passing. The idea displeased him, and he tried to avoid y/n so these feelings would go away, but it was in vain, and only made him miss y/n - and made him love her more. But one day, as he was sitting on his desk busy thinking about her instead of studying, the idea of just telling her how he felt seemed right. Of course, the idea of rejection secretly terrified him, but he would accept simply being her friend. y/n deserved a loyal, sincere friend and that is what Tom was. All she had to do was give him a chance he could be the boyfriend - the word seemed so meaningless compared to what he felt - she deserved, a boyfriend who would be loyal, caring, sincere, and who would put her and her needs and safety first.
Thus, he got her favorite flowers, and, having thought about what to say to her for hours, decided to go and ask her to have a moment of her time. And now the time had come. He grabbed the bouquet, and, trying to pull himself together, left his dorm. At that hour, y/n should be in the common room. With a bit of luck, she would be alone. Tom headed for the common room, which was nearly empty except for two first years laughing. He started looking for y/n, and his heart, which had started to beat faster with nervosity and hope, almost broke.
y/n was indeed here, standing in a corner of the room - kissing Mattheo, who had a hand on her waist and the other in her hair. He broke the kiss, looked at her in a way Tom had never seen him and y/n had a smile before Mattheo pressed his lips on hers like he couldn’t help it.
Tom took a step back, and the only thing that stopped him from dropping the bouquet was the noise he knew it would make. He turned around and quickly yet silently went back to his dorm - where the flowers finally met the ground. His back against the door, he almost wanted to laugh now. How could he have been so foolish? It should have been obvious to him from the start that y/n, warm and kind y/n, would prefere Mattheo, Mattheo would everybody loved or at least fond of, who had no problems making friends and be with people, Mattheo who had never been anything like their father. Mattheo, who people didn’t intimidate or rightfully found cold and strange.
You’ve won, brother.
As always, Tom Riddle found he had been right. Love was meaningless, and he should never have cared for it - should have never cared for her - in the first place.
He was right, but for the first time in his life, he wished he wasn’t.
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Before you/After you
"I love you, it's ruining my life." As the future heir of Serulla, you have your mind set and path in order. But everything changed once you met him– Zaros. (What happened eight years ago) Zaros Kymen Atha'lin x Reader
Everything is set in place ever since you were born. The road that you're taking was taken before, the thought comforts other– but it cages you. Every moment and every step you take was for Serulla— they hold your present while you hold their future.
For you, the small talks are for formalities, the conversations are for information, and connections are for upper hand. You'd often glance at the ladies, with how they easily converse with one another. You'd quietly observe viscounts laugh with each other.
You would be lying if you said that you didn't want to find a connection like that. A conversation with no intent, a friendship without negotiations. You tried in the past, but to no avail. No one seems to scratch the surface, no one seem to try.
Academy seems to aid with your loneliness. The more work and tasks they gave, the less you have to ponder about whatever thought your mind can conjure. For a moment, it did not matter that you're the heir to the throne, nor you're alone.
You quickly adjusted to the academy, it helped that some of the topics and subjects interests you. Even if you're having a hard time with other subjects, you have mentors to guide you through. The life was monotonous, but somehow, you found comfort in that.
The cafeteria is bustling with students packed with their snacks and stories. Sounds of metal and glasses along with conversations and laughters filled the area. You wished that those noise would visit you often, but that is almost impossible.
"Is this seat occupied?" A blonde young man asked, tearing your attention away from your food. As you looked up at him, his eyes widened, recognizing you. There was the familiar look in his eyes, one that you're almost used to seeing in other people's faces.
"I apologize, I did not—"
"Please seat, it's alright," You quickly spoke. It was strange, but a part of you wants him to stay.
He sat down, a flicker of intimidation in his gestures. He was careful, as if waiting for judgement. You wanted to roll your eyes at how tense he is— it was almost ridiculous.
"What's your name?"
He looked at you, clearly taken aback by your question, "My name is Zaros, your grace. Zaros Kymen Atha'lin."
"Zaros, nice to meet you."
You held your hand out and to your relief, he accepted.
Somehow, life in the academy became bearable. The monotonous mundane life that you usually led became tolerable. Awkward lunches and small talk became comfortable silence as you continued to spend time with each other. It also helped that you share some classes with him.
The more you spend time with Zaros, the more you know him. Zaros is filled with dreams and aspirations. You can't help but admire his outlook in life. He was a breath of fresh air and it felt like you finally found what you were looking for.
"Once I finish studying, I'll make sure to apply what I learned in my community. Giving back what I can is the least I can do for the people who I grew up with," His eyes filled with hope and aspirations– almost as if he can grasp the dream that he longs for.
Your heart warmed at the sight knowing that he's few steps away from achieving what his heart wants.
"What about you?" Zaros stopped his steps, tilting his head as he tried to examine you.
"My dream is to lead Serulla with honor and integrity. I want to continue its legacy" You answered, dictating the same words ingrained in your brain ever since you were a child.
Zaros only tiled his head at the answer. "But what about your dream?"
You looked at him with surprise as he asked the question once more. This time, you knew what he meant.
"I want to see the world myself." The words flow freely from your mouth as you let your guard down to him for a bit.
Zaros held your hand, giving it a gentle caress, "What's stopping you?"
Serulla is a wonderful nation; the more you explored it the more you loved the place and the people. You can't help but thank Zaros for his guidance. He showed you places you haven't seen before, leading you to paths that you never thought you'd traverse.
You seized your free time with him, often advancing your studies and sneaking past the guards so you can explore the kingdom more. Both of you knew those moments were limited, but you made sure that it was worth it. You and Zaros became inseparable and you wouldn't have it the other way.
"Just close your eyes. Do not peek," Zaros continued to guide your steps as his hand covers your vision.
"Oh, please. If this is one of your tricks, I'm punching you," You chuckled, anticipation building up at his said surprise.
"It's none of that. You can trust me."
Zaros halted his steps and so did you as you finally arrived to your destination.
"I present you the most beautiful view in Serulla." As he removed his hand, your eyes finally adjusted to the view.
What welcomed you is a beautiful landscape showcasing the city. The view from here was high enough to make everything seem small and distant. Cold breeze gently touched your skin; as you inhale, you feel yourself floating– soaring the skies.
You glanced at the man beside you. His soft gaze made your heart beat faster, but you didn't mind. A soft smile plastered in your face made his smile widen.
Then you felt it: the warm feeling in your chest, the heat in your cheeks, and the security that you never felt around anyone but him.
Zaros placed his arm around your shoulder, "Did you like it?"
You leaned to his touch, not minding the physical contact. With a smile, you answered, "I love it."
People are intrusive and curious. You understood that it will never change, but it still irritated you.
Once people got caught wind of you and Zaros, rumors began to spread. Some are almost harmless, but most of them are ridiculous. Whenever you hear it, you can't help but roll your eyes. It did bothered you at first, but you learned how to pay no mind.
After the exam, unwinding is something that you looked forward to; the park was the perfect place for that. A soft sigh of relief escaped your lips as you felt the grass beneath you. Being confined in the halls made you appreciate the nature. You finally found a way to break free from things that was weighing you down.
Your eyes wandered at the lush surroundings: the fresh flowers, the beautiful butterflies, and the clear blue sky.
As you looked around, you felt as if you're being observed. To your disappointment, you saw a group from the academy, whispering to each other, giving you not-so-sublte glances. You tried to ignore them, but you found more and more people looking at you like a spectacle– exchanging words as if dissecting you right then and there.
Taking a deep breath, you focused in your surroundings once more, ignoring the feeling of their suffocating scrutiny. You are a public figure, get used to it. The words repeat in your head like a mantra, but it didn't help. Your clothes felt tighter, your heart beats faster, and everything around you feels smaller and sma—
"Ignore them," His voice seems to pull you awaw from your thoughts that you almost drowned you. As you gazed at him, the weighing feeling in your chest gradually fades.
"I know a spot," Zaros smiled, holding his hand out and you happily took it.
That moment, you knew that he knew you in a way that no one would.
"The academy seems to treat you well," Your mother spoke with a soft smile, carrying a hint of pride in her voice. Her presence always soothes you. She always carries this grace and elegance in her actions and words; it was those traits that made you admire her as a leader and a mother.
You nod, a small smile visible on your face as you recallled your life in the academy and with Zaros. Back then, it was the topic that you dreaded to talk about, but now it felt like a distant past.
"I'm seeing a new side of you. It makes me wonder if you're ready to take after me," She spoke with a hint of joke, her gentle hand tapped against your cheek. For a moment you did not see Queen Roena— you saw a mother gently scolding her child.
A chuckle escaped your lips, "I still have a long way to go, Mother. My studies are well taken care of and I am not falling behind," You spoke, trying to appease her.
"I understand, my dear. Your little tardiness and unruly behavior is just bothering me," A small sigh escaped her mouth. "Few years from now, you will hopefully rule Serulla. I expect responsibility and strong sense of duty."
"Mother, I was just having fun with a friend. I assure you my studies are still my priority," You insisted like a petulant child.
She held your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as she looked at you, "I know, dear. As a mother, I advise you to be wise and careful. Trust is a gift not quickly given. Some people have different intentions."
You felt a cold coil in your stomach, not liking the direction where she was headed. It felt as if you knew what it was about— who it was about.
"Zaros, that is his name, right?"
You nodded, you wanted to open your mouth to defend him, but your mother immediately spoke.
"I apologize for intrusion. I know that you're growing up and being your own self, but I cannot help but worry about your current behavior and the rumors circulating around you and that man. Threats and dangers are everywhere, you have to be wary. Sometimes you need to listen to others, maybe they're seeing another perspective that you're blinded by."
A feeling of dread and hurt filled you at her implications. You're in another predicament once again, choosing between yourself and Serulla.
"Please, I speak to you as your mother. I cannot take another heartbreak, I cannot lose you," She caressed your cheek, her eyes filled with hurt as she recalled the distant past.
"Of course, mother. I will choose what is wise for us and Serulla." You spoke, cursing yourself as the words escaped your lips.
If you were able to condese the rumors that circulated, it will only boil you down to one thing:
The heir is a gullible fool, led astray by a traitor.
The future heir of Serulla is either a genuine dunce or seemingly a dunce. It was an insult to the ruler to raise someone as ignorant as you. You can't help but believe it. After all there's a thin line between losing your inhibitions and losing yourself.
You spent your days pondering about the rumors, considering your mothers words. Maybe they are right, maybe they saw something that you didn't. Gathering your resolve, you decided to face the possible truth. You have been led astray by him, it was now time to get your life back.
"Why did you befriend me?"
Zaros chuckled out of bewilderment, "That's a strange question."
"Just answer it," Your gaze sharp, catching him off guard. You saw him falter at your firm voice, leaving no room for friendly banter.
"Because I thought that we can be friends," Zaros spoke carefully, looking at you in the eyes, trying to figure you out. He could feel the tension filling the air– gone was the comfortable silence.
"Is that all?"
"You're asking as if you want to hear a specific answer."
"And if I do? Because it's strange how a person like you could take a liking in having a connection with me? Unless…" You glanced at him from head to toe.
"Unless what? Say it," His eyes daring, not leaving your gaze as he braced himself.
"Unless you're after something more valuable than friendship. Even others can see that."
Zaros' eyes widened, scoffing at your accusations, "Is that how think it is? After all the times you spent with me, you decided to believe them? That's preposterous." He let out a bitter chuckle.
"I am just considering their opinions. You can't blame me for being careful, especially with how desperate people can be," Your words venomous as you spoke.
"I may be 'desperate', but at least I am not a pathetic being whose worth is attached to a throne destined for them."
"Well, at least I am not desperate enough to intrude in someone's life!"
His jaw tenses as he clenched his fists, all the hint of the previous connection and bond gone in his face. "Maybe they were right. Maybe you're truly a fool. And if I am being honest, Serulla is doomed to fail under your guidanc—"
Silence filled the room after the loud sound of your palm making a hard contact in his cheek.
“You are a disgusting leech who won my trust, only to break me after. Knowing you is my greatest regret, I never want to see your face again.”
Before he could respond, you immediately left the scene.
As you walked down the hall, your chest felt tight and your mouth felt dry. You tried to ignore the stinging in your eyes, but before you can prevent it tears starts to well up.
You knew that there's no coming back after the words that you exchanged with each other. The bridge was burnt, you made your choice. Whether you'll truly regret what occured, you have yet to know.
Divider: Cafekitsune
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already had to post a psa before, but one of the biggest outsiders blogs has deactivated after a lot of hateful anons yesterday and today
hope you’re proud of yourself for ruining the fun someone was having by sharing useful and helpful information with the community, many of whom don’t have the chance to see the show themselves so relied on that blog for updates about something they’re interested in and excited about
i know it’s a minority as opposed to a majority, which i’m thankful for, but some of you really need to pull yourselves together because you’re not gonna make it very far if you treat people like that in person. doing it behind a screen is fucking stupid
sorry to put it bluntly and rather unkindly but it’s becoming a bit of a joke that i had to post even 1 psa, let alone 2
(posting more later, just trying to figure out how to say things politely)
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