#i hope this can help someone out
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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this is coming from the position of a student, so don't take my word as gospel, but i want to strongly encourage people to prepare for the coming years and look outward to find communities in real life. this can be big like getting involved in fundraisers or organizations or small like going to poc/queer/art social spaces and talking to people. making friends and connections will help you and others build support networks, something you will need as we enter the new term. i know talking to strangers in real life can be scary, unfamiliar, or difficult (depending on where you live especially) and it may take a lot of compromising and work –– and i don't want to condescend –– but we have to try starting now. this is about your safety and welfare, as well as the most vulnerable people's.
if leftists/progressives/minorities want to survive and beat back what's coming, we need to do our work offline too and take up space. an example of getting involved would be (if you're an artist) reaching out to fundraising organizers and making prints of your artwork to donate for raising funds.
#personal#this doesn't account for everyone but it's something to think about#also please be nicer to people. leftists especially on social media have a tendency to be mean in a very unconstructive way to each other#and i don't want to discount what they tend to be angry or mean about because it often does matter but i hope our first reaction toward#a dissenting opinion or behavior is a little grace instead of immediately dunking on each other for points#i'm also not saying online communities and spaces aren't any good for support but. it might not be enough. put the work in to prep yourself#it sucks how when right wingers lose they blame leftists. when leftists lose we blame each other.#leftists blame liberals and liberals blame poc voters and it can be completely true and warranted and then we all get killed#please resist doing that this time#be a friend; show some grace; look out for each other please#an example from my life would be i've been going to munches and queer/kink events and meeting friendly people#it's pretty tiring socializing and working through those interactions and by the end i'm also pretty tired#but it's worth it because not only do i know someone irl who's like me but if they're ever in trouble or need help#i can be a potential lifeline to them in an immediate way. and vice versa
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Hello - I was impressed and extremely relieved by what you wrote in the post about the cult mentality of the Left RE Israel and accusations of genocide. You mentioned that you bought into the mindset until recently. If it's all right for me to ask, what was it that helped you break out of it? (Please feel free to delete/ignore if you'd rather not answer!)
thank you!! and no worries about asking— i think i put something in my pinned post about how people are welcome to send asks about this stuff, although my story isn’t super interesting. i fell down the typical online rabbithole, a couple weeks after october 7; i knew what had happened, at least vaguely, but the posts trickling onto my dash were all about the (undeniably tragic) loss of life in gaza, with little to no acknowledgment of the hamas atrocities that had started the war, so my narrative was pretty one-sided from the beginning. it just continued to snowball as the months went on and people became more radicalized, calling into question the reality of the 10/7 attacks and the humanity of all israelis. i never went all the way down the pipeline to full-on endorsing hamas or justifying their attacks, at least on a personal level, thank god, but i would reblog other people’s posts referring to hamas as a “resistance movement” and calls to boycott starbucks and mcdonald’s and condemnation of the “zionist media” etc etc etc. what pulled me out of it wasn’t any one thing— if someone had directly called me on my flawed logic and antisemitic biases while i was in this mindset, i doubt it would have done much, just reinforced my belief that i was on the “right side of history” and zionists were aggressors who couldn’t be reasoned with. it was mostly just passive observance and a slow exposure to other perspectives. i’m pretty sure the first post that led me to question my thinking was an ask on jewish-vents, which popped up on my dash in like, late july. this led me down another rabbithole, first scouring every single post on jewish-vents, then moving on to more popular jewish blogs that i had seen on “zionist blocklists” (applesauce42069, xclowniex, and spacelazarwolf were probably some of the blogs that influenced me the most, though i told myself i was just hate-scrolling at first, lol). i felt incredibly guilty seeing all the harm the movement i was a part of had caused to random jews and israelis just trying to live their lives and i realized how it went against everything i believed about how minority groups should be treated. from there, the aspect of actually undoing my thinking and changing my behavior for the better still took several weeks. denial of jewish indigenity to the levant in the face of tantamount archeological and cultural evidence was the first to go, as well as any ambiguity in my feelings about hamas. after that, it’s mostly been a slow process of redefining the idf’s actions from a “genocide” to a “war.” i still believe that what’s happening in gaza is unconscionable and horrific, and that too many innocent civilians have died, but i also understand how difficult it is to fight against a terrorist group that systematically embeds itself in civilian populations, and that the ratio of militant to civilian deaths is incredibly low compared to most urban warfare. i quietly deleted my old blog in early august— if i had directly engaged in harassment against jews, i likely would have kept it to make amends to the harmed parties and put a face to my actions, but as was, i had just contributed to the larger atmosphere of antisemitism on this site, and i felt uncomfortable knowing that i had a blog full of sentiments that no longer matched my values and beliefs. i decided i would be better if i took my endorsement out of the equation entirely, because when you’re looking through the notes of a post, it obviously doesn’t matter if someone who’s reblogged it no longer agrees with what was said— their notes still count as tacit approval, and i did not want approval of this “activism” attached to my online presence. i still have unwanted kneejerk reactions that crop up sometimes, particularly around the fundraiser posts from people “in gaza”; even though i know logically that they have all the markers of scams, there is still a part of me that really wants to believe i could help.
#thank you so much for asking i really do enjoy explaining how i got here and i hope these discussions#can help someone like me someday. choosing to unlearn everything i had swallowed is one of the best decisions i ever made#also sorry this took so long i took like an hour typing it out and hit text block limit for the first time ever#and then tumblr decided there was an ~error~ processing my post#so i pasted it into the notes app and then back into a draft. i hope my response makes sense and isn’t too rambly#leftist antisemitism#deradicalization#i/p#hlmoorewrites#ask
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"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"
dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.
but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.
the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.
so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.
we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.
now leave us alone.
#spilled ink#writeblr#slam poetry#i started this as a joke and ended up taking after#the poem about all the women in the world meeting in the bathroom#i can't find it to link it directly i've been googling for like 15 minutes if someone can remember#turns out frantically googling the only lines like ''women meeting in the bathroom''#''secret womens meeting you always believed happened" is not useful for . to search??? help :(#also the reason this says harmless so many times is bc like#this is 100% about like#yeah man when ppl are mean about ppl enjoying things like. fuckin lady gaga#like this is so obviously about ppl who steal ur joy for no reason (i WILL steal ur joy if ur a bigot btw)#also yes it's bc someone was like ''liking the mcelroys in 2023 is cringe''#and im like. dude what the fuck literally just let people like things it's LITERALLY not that deep.#like i dont like centipedes theyre one of like the 2 bugs im squicked out by ... but like.#if u really like centipedes. im like so happy for you. i hope you can put socks on ur centipedes#so they can speedclean ur floors. that would be fun and cool!!!#i love u i hope all of you have a weird passion i love you i hope that passion fills your life like soap bubbles
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They’re out of time (cancelled)
<prev [5/7] next>
#rottmnt#out of touch turts day#leonardo hamato#donatello hamato#raphael hamato#michaelangelo hamato#april o'neil#casey jones#cassandra jones#hamato yoshi#master splinter#Lou jitsu#oh no the anime process! no body stopped it they’re evolved even more into anime creachers#PLEASE SOMEONE HELP THEM BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE#I started this back when I was doing the 2007 one and I’m so glad I got up to the line art finished because I had no time for art this week#but my friend said this has been the one she was most looking forward too and she deserves a win this week so I got up early HERE THEY BE#she hasn’t seen the movie yet and asked who was infront of Leo and I said a surprise xxx#we’re halfway through season 2 we’ll finish rise soon im sure cx#I didn’t study the style for colouring as much on this so I hope it is okay#BUT I have learnt that less shading with angular lines can be fun and just as effective#ralh isn’t as tall and I remembered him being but I’m pretty sure I got the proportions right? hmm#…..just got deja vu when uploading this….
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we don’t acknowledge enough how dee used to be a pageant winner when she was a kid and how much damage it did to her. she worked her ass off and got recognition for being pretty and talented at a young age and it was the only source of self esteem she could garner in a family that constantly berated and talked down to her. she sought after that external approval because it was the only way she could prove everyone around her wrong. her dream of being a performer didn’t come from a self-aggrandizing delusion— she genuinely showed a lot of potential when she was younger. but she went through an unflattering puberty and her spinal condition got worse and that natural talent she had as a kid plateaued way too early. the “former gifted kid” dilemma. she slowly lost the thing that promised her that she was good, but she was so desperate to keep holding onto it that she tried anyway. again and again and again no matter how much people made fun of her because it was always about proving them wrong. but after a while she couldn’t jump anymore without anticipating the way it feels when she hits the ground face first. self-sabotage became her way out, choosing to rather live in the fantasy of her own unrealized potential and blaming those around her for her lack of success, than having tried and crashed again. she’d rather buy lottery tickets over and over and never scratch off the numbers than to see that she lost. that self-sabotaging behavior bled into other aspects of her life too, from friendships to relationships to therapy. her own short lived success is what made her grow into embodying the cycle of failure.
#iasip#dee reynolds#oh deandra#someone tell her she’s good#this may very well be a diary entry vaguely disguised as character analysis but lets move past that#also doesn’t not help at all that im going through my own dennis and dee go on welfare unemployment plotline irl#BUT LETS MOVE PAST THAT#she’s such a fascinating character i really hope they explore her more in s17 bc she’s been like. a side character for the past few seasons#another thing i regret not telling charlie when i had the chance ugh#i wanted to be lighthearted and complain about the promo pics being ugly but when i opened with ‘#‘can i air out some grievances’ he was so open to it and actually seemed kind of disappointed that i WASNT talking about the writing#and it was like. in no universe could i have possibly been prepared to have an in depth convo ab the show with him at that loud ass bar#or like. expected him to be open to WRITING CRITICISM of all things#there’s so much i could have aired out. So much. but alas#what was i talking about#oh dee#anyways yes dee my sweet dee i love her my stupid tragic middle aged girlfailure my wifr#wife#i love you
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— Strip Starchess with Jing Yuan (Female Reader)
Including: Jing Yuan cw: afab!reader, pwp but barely, slight mention of reader having a size kink, unprotected p in v, first time writing a proper fic, first time writing smut (please send help), reader is a little bashful, overall its kind of a self-projection I guess. Jing Yuan is a little bastard (affectionate), stripping (who would've guessed), grammatical errors(I tried), Jing Yuan calls you pet names (dear, love), no use of y/n, light bondage ( reader gets their hands tied with a t-shirt nothing too bad), safe sane and consensual w/c: 3941 (might be a little off since I made a few edits in this post) a/n: I am so sorry for this I am going to die of cringe later but I needed this out of my brain so I made my best attempt at writing. There is a lot of stuff that is bad but I do not have the energy or patience to do it so, you have been warned, this is a first-time smut from an inexperienced writer whose first language isn't english :3 hope someone out there likes this
You were bored.
Extremely bored.
Jing Yuan had promised you he’d come home on time so that the two of you could enjoy dinner together. You had something fun planned for the evening for the two of you. Something you were excited to try out.
One problem though, there were still no signs of your boyfriend’s arrival.
You sent him a few messages asking him where he was but to no avail, you knew for a fact he wouldn’t be able to respond anyway.
The sound of a door opening broke you out of your thoughts as you turned around and were met with an apologetic soft smile on Jing Yuan’s face.
“Yu.”
“My Love.”
You huffed at him in annoyance, realising what he was trying to do. He always knew how to soften you up.
“You’re late.” You said as you watched him unstrap his boots and place them near the shoe rack before he turned to look at you.
“I apologize, I overslept in the afternoon and had to compensate as a result.” Jing Yuan gave you a pitiful look.
“Regardless, I am here now,” He walked over to where you were seated and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on your head. “And I’d love to eat what my dear has cooked for me.”
You rolled your eyes at him a little and turned towards the table again as he took his seat opposite to you. You began eating in silence while Jing Yuan served himself some of the food you’d made.
“C’mon, don’t be like that.” He spoke suddenly as you focused on eating and ignoring him.
“Be like what? I didn’t do anything.” You huffed back to him again while continuing to look at your food when you suddenly heard the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor, you looked up, only to be met with your boyfriend’s amber eyes boring into yours.
“What can I do to make it up to you?”
You grumbled something with your mouth full.
“I didn’t catch that, love.”
You gulped down your food,
“I said, play Starchess with me”
“Do we not play Starchess on a regular basis already?”
“We do, yes, but I found a new variation of the game that I thought would be fun to try out. Only if youre up for it, though.” You made eye contact with him again as his eyebrow shot up in surprise.
He leaned in on the table and rested his head on the palm of his hand as he tilted his head lazily.
“Go on.”
Your confidence and annoyance all but vanished this exact second, you really hadn’t expected him to be this interested and knowing him , he probably already has an idea simply based off of the tone of your voice.
“...Nevermind.” You looked away, blushing as Jing Yuan continued to watch in lazed amusement.
“Is it-”
“Yes it’s Strip Starchess, okay? I thought it would be fun to play.” You blurted out as your ears turned a light shade of red.
“I was going to say Blitz Starchess.”
Your eyes widened in horror as you turned back to look at Jing Yuan who was now miserably failing at holding back his laughter as his shoulders shook silently and he pressed his lips together.
“I hate you.”
Jing Yuan laughed and you pouted.
“I didn’t do anything, though?”
“You know exactly what you're doing, Yu.”
Jing Yuan smiled apologetically once again as you pouted while avoiding eye contact with him. He sighed fondly and picked up his chopsticks again.
“Strip Starchess, hm? Let’s finish dinner and begin.”
You huffed again and turned back to your food and soon enough, Jing Yuan started some casual conversation and the whole ordeal was pushed to the back of your mind.
. . .That was until after you both finished eating and cleaning up.
Shit.
You suddenly had very important things to do in your library so you quietly started walking towards it, hoping Jing Yuan had all but forgotten about your earlier conversation. Just as you were about to open the door, a familiar voice called out from behind you,
"Dear?"
You slowly turned around, trying not to look like you were caught committing a crime.
"...Yes?"
"Where would you like to play? I think the living room would be best since it is rather spacious. We can close the curtains but,"
Jing Yuan paused as he looked towards the box in his hands and back to you,
"I'm saying that while assuming that we will be taking off our clothes sooner or later. Am I wrong?"
He smiled innocently. This bastard knew exactly what he was doing.
"... Fine, let's go to the living room then, I'll explain the rules to you."
Jing Yuan hummed pleasantly as he walked behind you, setting the board down onto the hard wooden flooring as the both of you sat down facing each other.
He opened up the box and set up the game and looked at you expectantly.
There was no backing out now, so you might as well give it your best.
"It's in the name, you strip when you lose a pawn."
"Strip entirely? Or just an article of clothing?"
"You know exactly what I mean."
You gave an exasperated sigh as you stared at him with the grumpiest expression you could muster.
"I'm afraid I don't, love."
He gave you a cat-like smile as he patiently waited for you to explain.
"...Only a piece of clothing. The one who has the most clothes off at the end of the game is the loser,"
You made yourself comfortable, you need your initial confidence back desperately.
"We'll play 3 games and see who wins. I won't be going easy on you."
You smiled at him mischievously as he chuckled and re-adjusted his seating position before looking right into your eyes.
"Very well then, let the games begin."
You focused your eyes on the board and played your first move, positioning the soldier pawn in front of your king 2 steps ahead.
Jing Yuan’s eyes lit up as he countered it by moving the same piece on his side. He knew exactly how you were going to play and he was going to ensure he won.
The game progressed and you eventually lost your first pawn, you sighed in annoyance at the realization as you looked up to see your boyfriend with his cat-like smile and of course, he had the most innocent look on his face.
Damnit.
You sighed reluctantly as you cursed him under your breath and removed your jacket.
“Happy?” You deadpanned at him.
“Very much so. Don’t be upset, you still have a chance to win.” He smirked lazily as he waited for you to play your turn
You were more cautious now, not letting him take any of your pawns when you realized you had a safe opening to take his pawn!
You took the chance and took his soldier with your bishop. Looking up at him in triumph.
He smiled back at you casually as he raised his hands in surrender,
“You got me there,”
You watchedn him in anticipation as your mouth watered a little, sure you’d been living together for a few months now but, nothing beat seeing Jing Yuan’s body.
He place his hand on his shoulder guard and removed it before smiling at you pleasantly again.
You blinked once.
Twice.
Scanning him to see if he removed anything else while you were day-dreaming.
Nope, nothing.
"I said one piece of clothing, your shoulder brace doesn't count as one."
"You never specified if accessories were also counted."
You huffed at him, "You never asked!"
"I don't recall having to ask, I gave you the chance to explain everything to me." He smiled innocently again.
He was right.
He knew he was and continued to play his next move.
Bastard.
Suddenly, it dawned on you that he was still in his armor and work uniform, meaning it would take at least 15 individual games of Starchess to get even the first layer off of him. Your eyes widened in realization as he looked at you and stifled his laughter.
Well, you certainly weren't in your work clothes and barely had anything on in the first place but you might have a few accessories on your person if you looked hard enough.
Two can play that game.
The game continued as you tried your best to defend your pieces from his attacks but he was too good… much to your displeasure.
By the end of the first game, Jing Yuan barely looked any different from how he was when he entered your shared home while you had to remove your own rings and piercings, putting them away in a corner neatly as to not lose them.
Jing Yuan won the first game by the rules of normal Starchess and the two of began your second round.
You were determined, but so was he.
Time passed rather quickly as you watched your boyfriend remove more accessories and you really wondered how he was able to walk or even fight with that much on his body.
You shook your head. Now's not the time for distractions.
The game progressed as you watched your pawns get taken one by one.
Rook, Bishop, a couple of soldiers and the list went on.
…You realized very late that you were going to lose.
You've never beat him in a game of starches, partially because he sneaks away your pieces but also because he's genuinely skilled at playing the game.
You were down to your last game, Jing Yuan in his shirt and pants along with some random trinkets of his uniform that you didn't even know the purpose of, you, however, were a different story.
You'd managed to get down just to your t-shirt and panties, shivering a little in both anticipation and the chill of the night.
“Do you need a blanket? You won't have anything to cover you soon enough, I'd hate to get you sick, dear.” Jing Yuan looked at you lazily.
Bastard.
He knew exactly what he was doing.
“I'm good. This is the last game and by the look of it, you've lost more pieces than I have.”
He made a content noise in the back of his throat as if agreeing with you before looking down at the board and smiling.
“I'm afraid you are correct, I admire your confidence in the face of calamity. However,”
He moved his bishop in line with your king.
“Checkmate.”
You glanced around the board, trying to find an escape route but there were none.
There was no denying it, you had lost the third game as well.
But the rules were about clothes, you looked up at him and back at yourself.
“. . . Fuck.”
You sighed, reluctantly admitting defeat.
“Alright , alright. You win the 3 games and the whole game considering you have more layers on you than I do.”
Jing Yuan smiled in amusement as he crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly,
“So, what's my reward for winning?”
You were already packing up the board as you looked at him with a huff and stood up.
“I'll let you nap in the afternoon more tomorrow, that's your reward.”
But before you could move your half naked self away, Jing Yuan moved closer and swiftly knocked your knees back so you toppled down onto him.
“Jing Yuan! I almost knocked the board on your head!”
You had wrapped your arms around his neck, scared to lose balance and plop onto the floor if he were to drop you.
“I'm interested in another reward.”
“What?”
“I'm the winner so isn't it natural I get to pick my reward? Besides, no proper terms were set for it when you explained the rules to me.”
“You little shit, you knew this was going to happen.”
“Dear, I am the divine foresight for a reason.”
He chuckled as his hands slowly moved down your torso and to the hem of your t-shirt.
He grasped the hem as he leaned into your body and spoke lowly in your ear
“Of course, if you don't want this, we could just revert to my original reward.”
His hold on you was firm but gentle, indicating that he'd let you go if you wanted him to.
“But, something about the way you're trembling in my hold tells me you don't want to stop, do you?”
Your breath was coming out in shaky puffs now. You simply looked away in embarrassment before he pressed himself closer to you, you could feel the warmth of his body through the clothes he was wearing.
“Answer me.”
“. . . I don't want you to stop”
He smiled against your ears and you swear if he had a tail it would be swishing around in excitement by now.
“That wasn't so hard, was it?”
Kissing the red shell of your ear he moved your face towards him and kissed you deeply before pressing his forehead to yours.
“Now, allow me to claim my reward.”
He peppered kisses along your jaw as his hands finally, finally took your t-shirt up to your neck as you raised your arms to help him get it off.
You were down to your panties and bra now, coincidentally, you were wearing one of his favourite sets’.
His kisses continued downward, unbuckling your bra with one hand while the other appreciatively squeezed around your body.
He leaned down on your chest, taking a nipple into his mouth as his other hand tweaked with the other and you gasped, sparks of pleasure shooting up your spine.
Your hands immediately found purchase in his soft hair as you closed your eyes and whispered his name.
Jing Yuan always , always made sure to lather extra attention to your chest, you never understood why but it had now become a sensitive spot for you.
He kissed and licked around your nipples, leaving little bites in between so that he can see them in the morning and fuck you all over again.
Deciding he'd done enough to your chest (for now) he moved his attention downwards, chuckling breathlessly at the small wet patch on your panties.
His large hand slid down as he started moving his finger up and down on your panties, making the wet patch grow bigger.
“You call me a bastard and yet have the nerve to be this wet for me, hm?”
“S-Shut up.”
You panted as your brain became fuzzy and warm, not being able to think of anything else except Jing Yuan touching you.
He smirked as he added pressure with his finger on exactly where your clit is and you gasped loudly. The fabric of your panties providing a weird but not unwelcome feeling.
“Do you think you can cum just from this alone?”
“I don't k-”
You cut yourself off with a loud moan as he pinched your clit and rubbed it.
“You don't know? Well, that's too bad. We'll just have to find out it seems, hm?”
You were gasping for air and moaning loudly at this point, thrashing and tugging at Jing Yuan’s hair like your life depended on it.
“I'm feeling nicer today, let's take this off, dear.”
He tugged at your panties and your hazy mind cleared for a second
“Jing Yuan! Don't I-”
A loud ripping sound echoed through the room as you stared in horror at the shredded remains of your panties but before you could utter a word, Jing Yuan kissed you and simultaneously continued to make circles around your clit.
You weakly slammed your fisted hands onto the hard planes of his chest but to no avail, he wasn't going to let up.
He continued flicking your clit at a faster pace before speaking into your ear.
“Be a good girl and cum for me”
You moaned as you clenched his (now crumpled) white shirt in your hands as your eyes rolled back and your orgasm flooded over your body in waves.
The general continued to make slow and gentle circles on your clit as you got down from your high, peppering your body with kisses and bites everywhere.
You were still breathing heavily when you regained your senses again.
“So, my hypothesis was correct.”
“You're gonna pay for that, Yu.”.
You said, not sure if youre referring to the torn panties or the fact that him massaging your clit was enough to get you to cum.
“Of course I will, and any other matching set you like so I can rip them all off of your body.”
His voice was so calm while speaking you'd almost think he was unaffected by the situation but that was far from the truth, sitting on his lap gave away that he was extremely hard underneath you.
He kissed you again, gently this time as he pulled back and bore his eye into yours.
“Do you want to continue?”
You didn't respond, only leaning in to kiss him before bringing your hands to the collar of his shirt and unbuttoning it.
“I'm not the only one that's going to be naked here.”
He helped you take off his whole shirt, watching you as you admired his sculpted and scarred torso.
“Turn around for me, love.”
You did as you were told, sitting in his lap with your back against his chest.
His hands suddenly came up on you again, going downwards to your pussy as he outlined your lips. Pressing gently on the soft flesh.
Your hands immediately found purchase on top of his much bigger ones, your breathing picking up again.
He inserted two fingers in you, pushing them in and out and curling them in just the right spot, hitting your already frayed nerves and stretching you open for him. Keeping the rhythm of his fingers up, slowly getting you towards the edge again when suddenly,
You were left empty as Jing Yuan retracted his hand and wiped it onto his pants as he unzipped them, before hooking both his hands under your plush thighs and lifting your slit above his cock.
“Tell me if you need a break.”
Before you could respond, he was already impaling you on his cock, pushing you down slowly as you reached back with your hands and grabbed his neck while arching your back.
“F-Fuck- too much-”
“You can take it, I know you can.”
He whispered breathlessly as he continued pushing you down until you met the base of his cock.
“There we go.”
Jing Yuan waited for you to adjust while rubbing gentle circles on your clit, watching intently as you fought to gain back your breath.
You were struggling at this point, mind in a haze at the feeling of being so full. Not knowing where to place your hands you blurted our the first coherent thought that came to your mind.
“. . .Tie my hands, please.”
Now it was the general’s turn to be surprised, you were not one to beg usually. He smiled coyly as he grabbed your discarded t-shirt and rolled it up to form a makeshift knot.
“If i was aware we were going to this tonight, I wouldve prepared more.”
You pushed your hands out together in front of you impatiently, just wanting to move but not trusting your shaking legs to carry through.
Jing Yuan kissed around your ears again started working on binding your hands immediately. Securing it as tight as he could, he tugged on it before pecking you on the cheek.
“There. Is that better?”
“Yes.”
You were fully panting now, subtly grinding yourself on his cock.
Jing yuan took it as his cue to move and hooked his hands under your thighs again before lifting you off his cock.
The split second where you were left empty was enough for you to whine. He wasn’t a cruel lover, though, he thrusted back in, filling you instantly.
He kept the tempo of fast but deep strokes and before long you could feel your second orgasm approaching.
Suddenly, there was a change as he pushed you down onto the wooden floor face first and ass up, the angle making him reach in different areas.
Your tied hands were above your head as you got rubbed on the floor like a mop cloth from his powerful thrusts. Jing Yuan bent over and draped his larger frame over your back, holding down your shaking hands with one of his own and thrusting faster.
“Come on, come for me.”
He whispered into your ear, again, reaching his other hand down to play with your clit.
And that's all it took for you to orgasm, releasing over his cock as he kept his pace.
For a few seconds, you blanked out completely, caught up in the haze of your orgasm that you didn't even notice Jing Yuan continuing,
That was until you were brought back to reality by a hit of overstimulation, tears already collecting at your lashes as the pleasure soared through your entire body.
“Y-Yu-”
“Just a little more.”
He continued rubbing fast circles over your clit and you could feel the tendrils of your third orgasm creeping up on you as you clenched around him hard.
It pierced through you just as your boyfriend finally released inside you, hot liquid filling you up and you felt so full.
Jing Yuan panted as he rested some of his body weight on you, essentially pinning you in place and having no way to move. Just the way you like it.
He grabbed your hips with both his hands as he gently thrusted a few times to get the last few seconds of pleasure in, wrecking your already overstimulated pussy.
“. . . I think my reward is incomplete.” He said after a few beats of silence.
“Absolutely not.”
Jing Yuan laughed breathlessly as he pulled you back onto his lap and rested himself against the sofa, wrapping his hands around your waist and putting his head on your shoulder.
The both of you relished in the afterglow for a bit with him still stuffed inside you, just enjoying and soaking each other’s presence, you were the first to speak.
“Horny bastard, you really piledrived me on the floor of our living room.” You laughed while pecking at his cheeks.
“Me? I’m the horny one now? You were the one that suggested this game in the first place!”
Jing Yuan feigned hurt as he tightened his hold on you, eyeing you cheekily as your ears turned red.
“I didn’t proposition sex! It was a game to-”
“To what? Play house with each other?” Jing Yuan asked in an amused tone before continuing,
“You wanted it to end like this, didn’t you?”
“Not on the goddamn floor! I’m gonna have bruises from this tomorrow, I hope you're happy.”
You pouted and held your (still bound) hands close to your chest, hearing Jing Yuan snicker and feeling his chest shake.
“I’ll give you a massage right now, on the bed this time, to make up for it”
“And then what? Escalate it into having sex again? I need to walk tomorrow, Yu.”
“You know me too well.”
You looked at him into his eyes and he simply gave you a crooked smile
“Untie my hands, we need to clean up and get to bed”
“Hmm… How about I let you go now and you let me enjoy my reward in the shower again?”
You sighed before nodding in acceptance, you weren’t going to feel your legs tomorrow.
This is the price you pay for provoking the sleeping lion.
“Horny bastard.”
#jing yuan#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you#fem!reader#god i am not your strongest soldier#i am coming up#i just need him inside me#i had to let the demons out#send help#first fic#can i even call it that#in god we trust#i hope someone finds this ok#jing yuan smut#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail smut
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A canon compliant guide of Bruce Wayne’s officially adopted children
I noticed there has been some confusion about who all in the BatFam is actually legally adopted by Bruce Wayne so I thought I’d try and help clear some things up.
(Full disclosure you can of course headcanon whatever you like, I made this is strictly to help newer fans know what is actually canon💕)
Dick Grayson: Adopted
(Batman: Gotham Knights #17 and Batman #600)
Many fans argue over whether or not Dick is officially adopted, many saying it was never official and he is still just his ward.
Though he does admittedly usually spend the majority of his actual childhood as a ward, Bruce ends up officially adopting Dick as his son(as I have explained before here)in multiple timelines
Barbara Gordon: Not Adopted
(Batgirl and the Birds Of Prey Rebirth)
There was never a need for Barbara to be adopted because she still has a Dad. She is however still very much in the BatFamily and has trained under and with Bruce
Jason Todd: Adopted
(The New Titans (1988) #55 and Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying)
Now I couldn’t track down a comic where we actually get to see Bruce adopt Jason, but there are plenty of instances in which his adoption is referenced -including but not limited to these two- throughout several timelines and reboots
Cassandra Cain: Adopted
(Batgirl 2008 #6)
Now this one is a bit more debatable as aside from this one instance, Cass’ adoption is never really mentioned again even after the timeline gets rebooted. Still the general consensus is that Cassandra’s adoption is considered canon.
Tim Drake: Adopted
(Batman #654 and Red Robin #4)
Though Tim declines Bruce’s offer of being adopted at first, we get to see Bruce adopt Tim as his son about a year or so later. His adoption is also referenced across multiple reboots
Stephanie Brown: Not Adopted
(Batgirls #13, Robin (1993) #174, and Robin (1993) #126)
Now the main reason Stephanie is not and probably will not be adopted is because both her parents are alive. While her Dad is a villain and out of the picture, her mother is a nurse and fully capable of taking care of her.
Bruce does however train her during her brief stint as Robin and much like Barbara she is no less apart of the BatFamily, she’s just not in the Wayne Family
Duke Thomas: Not Adopted (technically)
(All Star Batman #1 and Batman & the Signal #3)
Now Duke is never officially adopted because technically his parents are alive just insane due to Joker’s toxin of which there is no cure. However Bruce does take him in and let him stay at the manor and it is heavily implied he becomes Duke’s foster parent so do with that what you will
Damian Wayne: Not Adopted/Biological child
(Batman and Robin (2011) #0)
Damian is Bruce’s one and only biological child -of the main canon- and therefore does not need to be adopted because you don’t need to adopt your own child
And that’s all of Bruce’s official and unofficial children in the main canon!💕🖤
#Don’t even get me started on the whole Meta verse “everything is canon” nonsense because I straight up don’t even know#I’m pretty sure everyone can pick and choose canon at this point and not be entirely wrong#So don’t let this stop you from head canon-ing your heart away#Babs and Steph not being adopted is a good thing because that would make them brother kissers#don’t take this too seriously#I didn’t have time to go track down more sources so hopefully this is sufficient#batfam#dc comics#bruce wayne#A guide for Bruce Wayne’s children#hope this helps#Honestly I don’t care much either way if people make Duke Bruce’s official son#Pop off#let people enjoy things#canon is a suggestion#I left Damian out once cause I was just doing adopted kids and someone told me I “forgot him”#So he’s here this time#But like I hope everyone knows Damian is not adopted#Ignore my aggressive italicizing#I do it a lot#Batfamily guide
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I just think there is something so inherently beautiful about choosing to live, despite it all. You have touched the depths of hell, sunken in magma, drowned in blue fire - and yet, even though your fingertips have touched death's in some sort of cruel, twisted dance, you choose to live. You shouldn't have had to go through those things, and I am so sorry that you did. But it's going to be okay.
Not every day is going to be easy. Life isn't easy. But it is beautiful to wake up and choose to continue, even on the days where you don't want to get out of bed. I think those good moments in the future - the future that you do have, mind you - will make it worth the run. There are people waiting for you, out there. There is someone, there, in the future, even if their face is blurry, who is extending their hand to you.
They will be real. You can grab their hand and pull yourself out. You can hang on just a little bit longer.
You can choose for yourself. You are not anybody else's puppet.
Choose yourself. Choose this hellish life, because when winter blows over, spring will come again.
Even if it's for something small - it's worth it. You are worth it.
Please, continue to live.
#poetry#aurae rambles#mental wellness#tw for suicide#choose to live#despite it all#please#i hope that this can help someone#mental health#mental heath support#mental heath awareness#nice words for your bad days#i just thought this should be put out there
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I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together – all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.
But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.
The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans – especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.
We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.
Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes it’s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.
No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.
#QSMP#mod talk#Additionally: we should avoid stereotyping entire communities for reasons I hope are obvious.#I think everything will work out in the end#I don't typically see this kind of stuff on here but I figured I'd post this anyways since I'm posting it to Twitter too#It's understandable that emotions are high because of everything that's happened to the QSMP community the past few months#but it's very sad to see fans attacking each other#everyone's a bit on edge it seems. I rarely use my personal Twitter but I opened it today and saw some close mutuals snapping at people#then after stepping away and calming down coming back to a conversation and apologizing#it's sad to see everyone in this state#So... comments from the peanut gallery I suppose. I do hope this helps someone though#I don't usually post things like this because frankly-#I don't think every single drama / controversy / whatever necessitates a public statement from every single member of the fandom#but I've been thinking a lot about this#Anyhoo. Hopefully I can start sharing clips again tomorrow. I've been moving the past week and life was hellish#hopefully things ease up a bit now
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YANG JEONGIN for @foxinys
#jeongin#yang jeongin#i.n#stray kids#skz#createskz#*gifs#*m#flashing tw#LATE....#im cursing everyone esp my isp because of how long my internet was out this morning#and i thought i loaded a reminder into my calendar a WEEK in adv but apparently nawt !!!! so thats me :sob:#ok ok i hope yew like this#i just picked blue bc i feel like i can colour blues well and I FELT LIKE ITS TOO OBV IF I ASK UR FAV COLOUR#but i see now per mary's set its probably PURPLE HELP FAONIWFOAWI#anyway its ok <3#hope u like this <3#my psd has drastically changed since i left tumblr so idk do with that what we will#anyway i love giffing him and im so happy u bias someone i bias bc OIFNOWAIF it makes this so much easier#this took like 2 hrs LOL#n e way sorry for it being late and i hope u like.. happ brith
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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desperately need people to understand that alicent is a victim but she’s also an abuser and a perpetrator
that she actively makes choices to harm other women because of jealousy and envy and the greed deep in her bones because submitting to suffering didn’t get her what those women fight to grasp for themselves.
she is absolutely a victim, in show.
that doesn’t change that she abused rhaenyra and her children, her own son, most likely helaena given how she flinches every time her mother touches her, and is actively weaponizing the patriarchy of westeros against other women- rhaenyra primarily, but also mysaria and dyana.
she isn’t the moral, righteous force of good that even she thinks she is, she’s a wounded woman directing all of the rot, pain, and fury inside her at the wrong people and forces.
#anti team green stans#anti team green#anti alicent hightower stans#i don’t wanna say it’s anti alicent bc honestly it’s more ‘accept her for who she is bc she’s so much more complex and interesting when you#but i made this bc someone genuinely tried to say that the reason people hate her is that they don’t see her as a victim#most rational people know show!alicent is a victim#it’s the point that’s she’s an abuser as well#that makes them dislike her#that she’s a hypocrite and a traitor#i don’t even like young alicent bc i don’t at all think she was a good friend to rhaenyra#‘it’s not your place to question the plots of lords and men’ to the named heir#dismisses rhaenyra’s hopes and idealism entirely out of hand#is baffled that rhaenyra is more worried for her fathers happiness and mother’s wellbeing than her position#she knew as early as ep 3 that otto was conspiring against rhaenyra and never told anyone#condemns ‘targaryen customs’ only to wed her daughter to her son even younger than she was when otto dangled her before viserys#acts entitled to rhaenyras secrets whilst condemning and judgemental even though she did not give rhaenyra that same courtesy#made no attempt at apology for the insensitive comment of aegon’s birth#though rhaenyra DID try to apologize for the ‘imprisoned in a castle’ line and tried to comfort her#uses her power as queen to push past the space rhaenyra is trying to create because she feels heartbroken and betrayed#rhaenyra took part in alicent’s culture with prayer at alicent’s urging because she cared about alicent and alicent was trying to help her#alicent is never once shown to return that favor instead condemning it for ‘queerness’ and growing to later#erase and remove all targaryen and valyrian heraldry from the red keep to replace with her own#like alicent is a victim and i DO have empathy for her. but i don’t like her and never will#especially not after the way her stans behave#she deserved better than otto’s machinations and viserys’…. viserysness#but that can also be true whilst i condemn her actions and behaviors
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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Only 5% of college students with ADHD graduate. A statistic that's disheartening on my good days and terrifying on my bad ones. Still, I know that I (and many others!) have so, so much to offer in my field of work once I get past all the hurdles of getting a higher education.
Hang in there, fellow ADHD students, I see you and I love you.
#art#adhd#comic#fully embracing the bad drawing style at this point because we're working on Finishing instead of Perfecting#(and also I'm not an artist. so.)#idk if this reaches anyone but I drew this to pull myself out of my head when it comes to school funk and maybe it'll help someone else?#anywho turns out that I LOVE drawing actually because it's the only creative expression where I don't feel like it has to be Good#it can just Be#(because I'm still a beginner and I have no expectations of myself)#I hope I never get better because I don't want this to become the way writing has become#original art#bad comic#bad art#but said with love!!!!!
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Reading/thinking about Sol some more, and I do think there's a need from some viewers for him to be either the pure selfless "healthy romance" choice OR purely selfish and unworthy of Joe, and imo he's neither, and that's what makes him interesting and human.
He hurt Joe by assuming the worst of him (in like, a very specifically, viscerally hurtful-to-queers way) and running away; he expects to be able to pick up where they left off as soon as he comes back, and really struggles to calibrate to the fact that Joe neither held a grudge against him nor pined for him this whole time. He just... moved on.
A lot of the ways Sol tries to support Joe or intervene in his toxic relationship with Ming are blatantly compromised by how much Sol wants Joe to choose him instead, but he's also right about Ming. I find him compelling because he goes harder than anyone before Ing in consistently, materially trying to be there for Joe, but there's always that level of selfish motivation to Sol's actions where he doesn't just want to protect Joe from violence or danger, he wants to redirect Joe's feelings from Ming back to himself. (And sometimes he fails to protect Joe not because Joe won't let him intervene but because he's too busy fighting Ming to pay attention to the guy they both just knocked to the ground!!)
If Sol really let go of the idea that Joe could ever want him again, would he still be as ride-or-die for Joe? Is the sincerity Joe showed him something he's repaying in kind, or is there always something he still wants from Joe lingering in the background? Is it possible to sincerely support someone you haven't stopped hoping will one day choose you? And when Joe refuses to let Sol help him, is it because he can't let himself burden a junior, or because he is intuiting and avoiding those strings that come attached to Sol's help, or both?
To me all of those questions are a lot more interesting than like "does Sol deserve Joe" or anything along those lines.
#my stand in#too sleep deprived to be posting but its on my mind!!!#it's so easy for the secondary romantic lead to get slotted into Nice Guy framing#and i think sol has sidestepped that for the most part#but he's still not perfect#when he helps joe get out of a sticky situation with ming and tong#he's still hoping to prove to joe that him and ming are incompatible#his selfishness and sincerity are both present at the same time#i find that compelling idk#i personally think he would be happy supporting joe any way he can and never expecting anything in return#but he will also never stop hoping#does wanting someone to love you back fundamentally taint the character of your devotion or support for them?#idts!!! otoh it can compromise your judgment and choices#in ways you aren't always able to stay cognizant of or honest about#and i think sol and how he tries to support joe really portrays that complexity well#dear diary
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