#i hope they brought someone joy the same way these little trolls did for me

[quizzical-is]

[existslikepristin]

Yexercise

This was the vote story immediately after Movie Night. Note: image has all three members from the beginning, but it ended up being all Yeri.

Tags: TheLounge, Red Velvet, Yeri, male reader insert, blowjob, titfucking, anal, va--nilla sex, workout sex, exhaustion, kink talk, appearances from Wendy/Seulgi/Irene but JoY hAs A bOyFrIeNd

~~~~~

"Hey, thanks. You don't need to give me the discount though," you say. You put your wallet back in your pocket, pick up the bag of muffins, and take the coffee from the guy across the counter.

"Nonsense! The Lounge wouldn't be so successful without your help. Besides, the profit margin on that stuff is insane."

The two of you chuckle with each other for a moment, and you smell the coffee he practically gave you free. Fresh roasted and ground on location, not too much sugar, and slightly more cream than usual. "Damn, man. This stuff smells like heaven."

"Heaven? Haha! More like Brazil! But speaking of heaven, who's the lucky lady today? You never get more than one muffin on your own."

You shrug. The man knows you, that's for sure. "Well, not a date this time. Wendy asked me to meet her here,"

"Oh, Red Velvet?"

"Yup. I think it's a business thing. I was asking her about song composing but I'm not supposed to tell you she's getting into that."

"Of course." He raises his eyebrows and flattens his mouth. "You know how Mr. SM can be about these things."

That's exactly what SinB and Eunha said and did a couple days ago, and nobody ever explained what they meant. "Actually, I--"

"Ah, there she is! And Seulgi and Yeri too!"

You turn around to see that he is definitely correct. Holding the door open is Wendy, dressed in a blue-and-white-striped sweater that sags off one of her shoulders, baggy blue jeans, and white sneakers. Her light brown hair is draped over one shoulder. Her casual outfit is contrasted by her exceptional, yet minimal make up.

Yeri has already passed her and entered the building. Unlike Wendy, her make up consists of some lazy eyeliner and not much else. Your heart skips a beat when you see her light gray yoga pants are as tight as a second skin, though her pink hoodie hangs just low enough to see any of her ass. She's cut her hair into a short bob again, and dyed it dirty blonde.

Seulgi follows Yeri, and certainly looks the most put-together overall. Her jet black hair is pulled into a ponytail so you can see her glamorous earrings and bright red lips. She's wearing a nearly wrinkleless white dress shirt barely see through enough to show her bra, black business pants, and short black heels.

A shiver crashes down your spine, nearly making you drop your coffee. You're not sure you'll ever get used to seeing all these gorgeous idols in person, and especially not when they're approaching you.

"Hey, sorry we're late," Wendy opens the conversation, "We got held up for a minute."

Yeri smirks. It looks like she's paying more attention to the menu overhead than to any one person. "Held up by some Canadian grandma driving."

Wendy frowns. "It's called a speed limit."

Seulgi gives you a short bow. You do the same back. Finally, a regular greeting. Then again, it makes sense since she's the one you've spent the least amount of time with. That's not saying much though, since you haven't had much opportunity to get to know any member of Red Velvet. "Good to see you again," she says formally.

"Oh shut up Sluggo, you know why we're here." Yeri points up at the menu. "I'll take the mocha--"

"What she means is... Well, can we talk?" Wendy asks, looking more than a little flustered.

"Yeah, totally. I got some muffins for us to share, but I thought it was just going to be the two of--"

"Fuck yeah, bro! Thanks!" Yeri snatches the muffin bag out of your hand and has one halfway in her mouth before you can protest.

Wendy sighs. "Let's sit down, shall we?"

Getting a table with room for four is a simple matter. Seulgi sits opposite from you, Yeri next to her, and Wendy next to you.

Yeri's busy eating both of the muffins you bought, which may be the only reason Wendy is able to finish her thoughts. "So, we don't have a whole lot of time. We're actually-- well, two of us are going to a gig in like fifteen minutes, but you know we're really busy. I mean, of course, you know us, and we've got a thing in fifteen-- Ugh. I'm sorry, I'm so bad at this. How's your day been?"

Normally in all of your previous conversations, short as they have been, you've noticed that Wendy is generally much more confident than this. "Um, pretty good. It's still early though. Just got here myself, so I haven't had time to do much today."

"Oh geez, that's right. I'm sorry, the last few weeks have really just been blending together, you know? So like, you know Yerin right? I mean, of course you know Yerin. So Yerin has been talking to Joy, and you've been brought up in that, and so we know a little bit about you."

You chuckle and scratch the back of your neck. "Ah, crap. If Yerin's been talking about me, I can only imagine the kinds of things she's said." Obviously, your history with Yerin and her perverted attitude can mean one thing.

Seulgi blushes. "Y-yeah. Is it okay that we're talking to you about this?"

"I mean, we haven't really talked about anything specific yet."

"They mean sex." Yeri blurts out, slightly muffled by muffin.

You laugh. Thinking back on Wendy's texts and her vague word choices, you figured she had a serious question for you, but you still can't figure out what it is she wanted to talk to you about. It's a little awkward that she brought two of her group members with her if she's looking for advice, too. "I kind of figured that's what it was about. But hell yeah, I'm an open book. What's on your mind?"

Wendy lets out a relieved sigh. "Oh my gosh, thank you. I thought I was going to die from my own awkwardness there."

She pauses as a barista walks over with Yeri's drink. You make note of the way, out of the corner of her eye, Yeri watches the barista's ass as she walks away.

Wendy continues with a bright smile that you're a little more used to seeing, "So uh, the three of us are currently looking for something, and wanted to know what your rates are."

You hesitate, piecing together what Wendy just said with the fact that the conversation has been defined as one about sex. "Has Yerin been... saying I'm a prostitute?"

Suddenly, it feels like you're in a pressure cooker. Silence grips the table as the tension rises. Wendy stares at you like a deer in the headlights, her eyes widening slowly and her smile fading.

The sound of the steamer behind the store's counter sets off a chain reaction of noise.

"OH MY GOD," Wendy shouts, "I AM SO SORRY!"

Yeri slaps the table and bursts into laughter, sending crumbs of muffin everywhere. Seulgi is glowing red, shaking all over, and looking frantically between you, Wendy, and the mess Yeri is making.

"I DIDN'T MEAN-- OH GOD--" Wendy grabs your arm with both hands, crushing down as if she's afraid you're about to leave. She lowers her voice to a hushed tone, but speaks at the speed of a runaway train, "I'm so sorry I didn't mean anything by it I supp-- We all support the sex work industry and I'm sorry I didn't me--"

The other two have effectively disappeared. Seulgi, with her arms covering her face and crouched low in her chair. Yeri has fallen to the floor, truly making the scene worse with how hard she's laughing and gasping for air.

For as mildly insulted as you feel, you aren't very surprised, considering Yerin's habit of using insults and crude words as terms of endearment. You smirk and put a hand on Wendy's shoulder. You try to calm her down, but are slightly afraid she won't hear you through her rambling, "Hey, hey. You're good. I'm not a prostitute, but it's fine."

Wendy slows down, but appears to be on the verge of hyperventilation. "I can't believe this. I shouldn't have assumed. Oh god. I am such a dumbass."

You get out of your chair and wrap your arms around her. She immediately shuts up, face melting into your chest. "You're good, Wendy. Honestly, that's hilarious more than anything."

Yeri is calming down a little as well, with the aid of Seulgi furiously brushing away the streaks of black makeup running off of her eyes. Even so, she can barely manage to get back into her chair, still having giggle fits and clutching at her stomach.

"I might not be one, but I think I can help you out anyway. What exactly are you looking for?" You let go of Wendy and watch her dab at a few tears that started with a napkin.

"No, no. I don't think I can say after all that. I am... so embarrassed right now."

Still fighting to catch her breath, Yeri chimes in, "We're too busy to find dick so she tried to find a way to schedule it. Holy shit, 'Sup? How's your day? How much do you charge for a good time, ho?' Right? Wow, Wendy."

"Yeri! That's not what she said!" Seulgi slaps at Yeri's arm and nervously looks around for anyone who might still be watching.

"Might as well have been! This is the best!"

You can't help but chuckle along with Yeri. You stare in her direction, hoping to get her attention with your next sentence, "You don't have to pay to fuck me."

That shuts Yeri up. She stares back. "Woah, you serious?"

You sit back down and glance at Wendy and Seulgi. They're staring too.

"Yeah, why not? Sounds like fun. Hell, I'd go for it right now, but you've got a gig to get to, right?"

Seulgi shakily raises a hand as if she's asking permission to speak. "O-only two of us are going to that."

Underneath the table, you feel someone's foot sliding up and down your leg. You have no doubt it's Yeri's, as she speaks up again, "Why don't you guess which one of us isn't busy today?"

Yeah. Why don't you?

Options for Part 1 [IMPORTANT (duh)]: 1. (Picked:) Is it Yeri? It seems too obvious, given how eager she obviously is. But she could be straight up trolling you. That seems like something she'd do. If it's her, you imagine you'll end up exhausted soon. She seems to have a LOT of energy to burn.

2. Is it Wendy? She's the one who organized this meetup after all. Maybe she'll ask you to come along as she drops the other members off at their gig. If she's the one, you can guess you'll have a very nice, sweet time. She's got those wifey vibes.

3. Is it Seulgi? She's been very quiet this whole time. She definitely took the time to dress to impress today. Maybe it's you she means to impress. If you're spending the day with her, you have no clue what to expect. You've got to watch out for the quiet ones...

~~~~~

You look underneath the table and see it is, in fact, Yeri who is stroking your leg with her foot. Her running shoes aren't exactly making it comfortable or sexy.

"I'm going to guess it's you."

"Sure is, babe." Yeri winks. Wendy and Seulgi both groan in unison. Yeri doesn't seem to mind them at all.

"So," Wendy says slowly, "you really meant that about having sex with us? I don't want to pressure you."

You look across the table and see Seulgi biting her lip, not in an intentionally sexy way, but maybe nervously?

"Yup. I'm not free literally all the time, so we might have to actually schedule it, which definitely feels weird, but I'm up for it."

Wendy grins. "Awesome! Thanks! Thanks? Thanks."

"But hey, to be totally clear, why me? You guys know you can have sex with each other, right?"

Seulgi pops in, "We have. It's just... we all want different things that others aren't comfortable with."

"Yeah, getting fucked softly by strapons is boooring," Yeri says. She glares at Wendy.

"H-hey! You know my hip--"

You're about to ask what they all want to do that's so radically different, or why they assume you're okay with all of it, but Wendy's phone alarm goes off.

"Crap. So, can we talk about this later? We have to get to our shoot."

"Totally, sure. Text me when you're off?"

Wendy and Seulgi are already starting to walk away. Yeri has made herself quite comfortable where she is though.

"I'll text you, yeah! Um, are you okay with babysitting that one for a bit?"

Yeri scrunches up her nose. "The fuck, bitch?!"

You laugh. "Yeah, why not?"

Wendy smiles and rushes out the door. Seulgi follows, but only after giving you a polite bow. "See you again soon!"

The busy life of a big three idol, you muse to yourself.

"Hmmm, seems we've got some time to kill, huh?" Yeri leans forward on the table, squeezing her tits through her bulky sweatshirt.

"Guess we do. I have one formal request to have sex with you and another to babysit you. Bit unusual."

Yeri groans. "Yeah fuck that. You realize I'm well into my twenties right? I want your cock, not a bedtime story."

You decide against telling her about the stories you swapped with SinB just a couple nights ago. "Couldn't put you to bed if I wanted to with that extra large mocha you've got there," you say instead.

“You could put me in a bed.”

“Snappy one. I like it.”

Yeri smirks and takes a sip of her coffee. “I don’t mean right now though. I’ve got something in mind already.”

“You mean what you were going to pay me to do?”

“Sure was, ho. Why? You still want the money?”

You sigh. “Well I’m really not in the business. So if you really want to spend something on me, maybe get me some breakfast? You ate mine.”

“You can eat me.”

After you give her a brief, unamused look, she relents. “Okay. Okay. What do you want? You can eat it on the way.”

“I see you like to make assumptions. And I’ll take a smoked salmon bagel.”

“I’m used to my assumptions being met. And I didn’t know they made those here.”

“Do you assume you’re going to get your way today? And they’re delicious.”

“Maybe I do assume that. I guess we’ll see. And I’ll have one too.”

Yeri hops off of her seat and goes back to the counter to put in your order. Thanks to the lack of a line or crowd, the bagels are ready by the time you’ve followed her. You open the bag.

“Four? Feeling hungry this morning?”

“Oh I’m starving for dick, but only one of those is for me. The others are for you. You’ll need the energy.”

“Question.” You stop, The Lounge’s front door half open in your hand. “Do you always speak so boldly and then follow it up immediately with something vague?”

She smirks and you watch as one of her hands slides around your waist and traces your butt before giving it a tight squeeze. She reaches past you with her other hand and pulls the door open the rest of the way so she can step outside, slowly twirling around you. “No,” she says, “Sometimes, I don’t speak.”

Smooth, you think.

The walk to wherever Yeri is taking you is a pleasant one. She takes your hand, intertwining your fingers with hers. She walks in sync with you. She makes easy conversation about work, food, and ideal local vacation spots. She nibbles on her bagel slowly enough that she finishes right about when you finish all three of yours. You almost forget that less than an hour ago she was making lewd comments about hiring you for sex, and that she is currently taking you to a location where she intends to fuck you.

It’s not long before you reach a building that she pulls you into, swiping a key card to open the door. The inside isn’t particularly remarkable, and you don’t see any signs anywhere that would reveal the building’s purpose. Three flights of stairs going up and one more key card swipe through a door, and you find yourself in a small gym.

One wall is effectively a single giant mirror like a dance studio would have, and there’s a variety of equipment you recognize as being for pilates as well as weight training and a treadmill. The floor is ever so slightly spongy-soft, it’s well lit when she flips on the lights, there’s a large potted fern in one corner with a small stereo next to it, and it’s otherwise undecorated. It smells like sweat.

“Personal, private gym?” you ask.

“Personal, private gym,” Yeri says. She drops her purse and kicks off her shoes next to the door, motioning for you to do the same.

“Not that I’m complaining, but couldn’t we have used a room at The Lounge, or your place, or mine?”

“Maybe. But I’m comfortable here. And there aren’t any company bitches here to get on my case for getting our freak on.”

Yeri walks into the middle of the room and pulls her hoodie over her head. It turns out she was only wearing a purple sports bra underneath.

Although she is still fully dressed as far as modern societal standards are concerned, you find yourself staring at her incredibly sexy body as if it’s totally exposed. Her leggings are exactly as skin-tight as you were hoping, practically revealing her firm ass. If she’s even wearing anything underneath them, you can’t tell. But as she lifts her arms above her head to toss her hoodie behind her and to stretch, it’s her mostly bare back and the toned muscle running up and down either side of her spine that catches you off guard. You can’t take your eyes away. She looks at you in the mirror and catches you staring.

“I’m glad you like,” she says, putting one finger between her teeth in the corner of her mouth and giving you a sultry look you didn’t think she was capable of. She twists to look at you over her shoulder. “Your turn.”

You remove your jacket and pull your shirt off. While it’s over your eyes, you hear padding footsteps coming your way, followed by a body being pressed up against yours. By the time your shirt is totally off, her hands are sliding up your back. This is one seriously forward idol you’re dealing with.

“So here we are. I picked the location. What’s next?” Yeri asks, “I’ve got a naughty thought or two, but maybe you have an idea you want to surprise me with.”

Options for Part 2:

1. No surprise, nothing fancy. Just get naked and get started. 2. There must be a shower in this building if it contains gyms. Ask her to take you there and you can get her wet all over. 3. (Picked:) Yeri was literally going to hire you for this, and “naughty thoughts” sound fun. Ask her what those are all about.

~~~~~

“Naughty thoughts huh? Why don’t you tell me about those?”

Yeri grimaces and looks off to the side. “Uh...”

“Uh…” You look down at her, confused. “What? What.”

“I was, you know.”

You hesitate…

“No! I don’t know! What?!”

“Like, I was expecting you to just rip off my bra or pants and go to town, you know?”

“But you said you have naughty thoughts. Why wouldn’t I ask about those?”

“I don’t know! I was counting on you not asking about them!”

You rub your eyes. You’re about to ask why she would bother bringing up the option if she was going to make such a big deal out of it, but she speaks first.

“I want to get fucked while I’m working out.”

“That’s it?” you ask after a moment of hesitation.

“It’s not all I want to do.”

“Well, care to share with the rest of the class? Or are you too embarrassed about having really normal-sounding kinks?”

Yeri shoves you back and takes a few steps toward the pilates equipment. “Are we doing this or not?”

“I’m all for it.”

She grabs the sides of her bra and with no small amount of difficulty pulls it off over her head. You easily forget about the awkwardness as you watch her breasts squeeze out slowly and eventually drop the rest of the way.

Yeri's breasts live up to the hype. When she beckons you over to her (in the same way you would beckon for a dog, annoyingly), you realize your opportunity to touch them for yourself is at hand. Literally.

You grab her by the shoulders first though, spinning her around so she's facing the pilates bench and the mirror. You wrap your arms under hers to feel her tits from behind. They're more than your hands can take in a single grasp. But you're not in this for speed. You bend down to kiss her neck, which gets a satisfied growl from her.

"Bite me," she says. It's not a softly spoken statement, and it's right next to your ear thanks to your positioning, so you're stunned for about half a second.

You do as she demands, taking a small bit of her neck between your teeth and sucking. If she wants hickeys you won't argue.

You're rewarded with a smack on the top of the head. Confused with her behavior again, you pull away.

"I didn't say nibble. I said bite."

"Oh. Uh, sure."

"Like, draw blood."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah! Like, if you're gonna bite, it's gotta be hard! Really get your canine teeth in there, right? Just fucking give it to me."

You stare at her for a moment. "Let's, um, start with the exercise thing first, yeah?"

Seeming suddenly confident again, Yeri hops onto the pilates bench and flips herself upside-down using the bars. She stretches herself out into a position you imagine can't be easy to hold for long. "Sure, if you can reach me."

You squint at her for just a second. She's switching between embarrassment and confidence so fast you can't figure out what's really going on. But at least right now, she seems fine.

Standing up on the bench, you find you’re at nearly the perfect height to put your face between her legs. And that’s exactly what you’re going to do. You grab the waistband of her leggings and pull them down to her knees. Underneath, absolutely nothing. No underwear, no hair. Just a completely bare pussy and smooth ass tensed with the effort of holding her body weight in an upward arch.

It’s a tight fit getting your head between her legs, given that she doesn’t have a lot of space to spread them apart. The reward is worth the trouble.

You flatten your tongue against her pussy to give it a full, long lick. She responds with a long, breathy moan. And since she gives you no reason to stop, you do it again, and again, and again. Each time, Yeri shivers just a little bit, making it obvious how much she’s enjoying herself.

Hands on either side of her hips, just touching for the sake of touching and not holding her up, you close your eyes and focus on your work. Not work. You’re not getting paid for this. Stop thinking about that.

She’s got a mellow taste as far as you can tell. It’s got the tang you would expect, but it’s maybe a little musky. You don’t try to distract yourself, but trying to figure out how Yeri tastes the same way men’s cologne smells is really messing with your head.

It’s when her hips suddenly drop away from your hands that you realize she has been holding herself in place for several minutes. She’s breathing heavily and she doesn’t fall only because her leggings are caught on your shoulders. She doesn’t seem seriously exhausted or anything though. Maybe this was just the first rep.

“Tired?” you ask anyway.

“I also want to try pet play.”

You stare down at Yeri. You’re sure you heard the words that came out of her mouth correctly, but they weren’t the answer to your question. “So… hang on. Back up. What?”

“You know. Meow.” Holding herself up with one hand, she uses the other to make the classic neko paw.

You tilt your head and rub your temples. “Alright. Um, I think we should probably work out what’s really happening here. You gave me a lot to work with.”

Yeri hoists her legs back over your head and stands on the bench again, kicking her leggings off the rest of the way. “Yeah! What do you think? Those are my ideas!”

“They are varied.”

“Is that good or bad?” Suddenly Yeri looks embarrassed again.

“No! They’re good! I’m not here to kink shame you. I don’t know if I’m really into all of that, or if they can all be incorporated into a single session, but I’m totally up for some of it.”

Session? This isn’t an appointment, and this isn’t my job! you think, furiously. You’re suddenly worried if every minor reference to work or professionalism is going to sound like it’s connected to sex from now on.

Yeri smirks, “Oh, okay. That’s fair. Anything sounds good! What do you want to do… with me?” She punctuates the last two words by grabbing her tits and winking at you.

Deadline for this vote is 12/20 at 12:00 UTC! No guarantees on how fast Part 4 will come out, but work should slow down soon, and it’s not like I’ll be going anywhere for a holiday because of this virus, so you can probably expect Part 5 and maybe also another short over that weekend! Options for Part 3: 1. (Picked:) Workout sex sounds like it will wear you out, but getting sweaty with a partner has never been a problem before! 2. Pet play? What was that meow about?! Maybe you want her to play a cat, or you can convince her she'd be something else? 3. Oh fuck, right. Yeri likes vampires. Bite her. [Warning for blood stuff, though not super gory or anything Red Flavor joke]

~~~~~

“Tell me more about this workout sex,” you say. To avoid letting the mood die down any more than your confusion already might have you inch forward, one hand on Yeri’s breast, the other wrapping around the small of her back. You pull her in closer toward you and put your mouth to hers.

Yeri hums into your kiss. She takes a moment to enjoy it before she pulls back. “It’s exactly what it sounds like, like what I said.” She comes in for a couple more small kisses and continues, “I work out. While I do that, you fuck me.”

You bring her back into the kiss, keeping it chaste for now. At least, as chaste as you can get while you’re more than half naked and she’s completely naked and you’re discussing exactly how you’re about to bang.

“I can start over there and bench while I suck your cock.”

You moan your agreement into another kiss.

“Then I can do my squats on it while you take your turn benching.”

You moan your “Huh?” into another kiss.

“Then you can do your squats by pile driving me into the floor.”

So it seems she plans on you working out too.

“So? Are we going to do this?” Yeri holds you back.

You take a deep breath. Whatever higher power you believe in has brought you this far. You’re not going to let it down.

“Why don’t you get down there and find out?”

Yeri practically jumps across the room. She grabs a couple of dumbbells and immediately gets into bench press position.

When you walk over, ditching the rest of your clothes on the way, Yeri looks up at you and smirks. She wiggles the weights around and, in a sing-song voice, says, “Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.”

You stand above her, unsure how to respond.

“Get it? Dumb Dumb? Dumbbells? The weights?”

“Uh, no?”

“What?! That’s like, a classic!”

“Is that one of yours?”

“Yes! You haven’t heard it?!”

“You just called your own song a classic.”

Yeri rolls her eyes. “Not classic as in old. As in-- I’m about to suck your dick, so laugh at my jokes.”

That makes you actually snort back a laugh. “Okay, I guess I get it now.”

She smiles and hangs her head off the edge of the bench. You make your way next to her head and she licks her lip at the sight of your dick at nearly her eye level.

“Just don’t go too hard okay? I’ve got a gag reflex.”

You crouch just enough so that your dick touches her lips, which she happily opens. The moment her tongue reaches out and touches you, you feel a bit weak in the knees. How you’re going to keep this up and also do real exercise, you have no idea.

Yeri cautiously starts pumping her weights up and down at her sides. You take the same slow pace with moving back and forth. After the mention of her gag reflex you don’t dare thrust for real, keeping it to an inch or so at a time. Yeri more than makes up for the lack of depth with her tongue though, twirling and curling it around randomly.

Thankfully there’s a bar across the bench that you can lean on to prevent a total collapse. Just beneath your head, you watch as Yeri’s chest and arms flex to push the weights up, then relax and spread out as she lowers them. The steady motion, the subtle definition of her body, and her heavy tits are a sight to behold, and so behold it all you do.

Yeri’s tongue sweeps across the bottom of your dick, and you feel a burning desire to be deeper inside of her. You decide to try your luck and push forward a bit farther. She doesn’t so much as lose the tempo in her lifting, so you go farther. Too much more and you’re sure you’re going to hurt her, but her legs are spread to either side of the bench, leaving something else open that you could probably get much deeper in.

You’re suddenly jolted back to awareness by the sound of weights slamming to the floor. Yeri grabs your hips and holds you tightly in place. You think she may have forgotten about the exercise after all with how intensely she’s sucking. But then, she pushes you away and gasps for air.

“That’s one set down!” She grins up at you and strokes your dick.

“Isn’t it bad etiquette to drop your weights like that?”

“Personal, private gym, remember? My gym, my rules.”

“Well not to break your rules, but I want to try something else in your next set.”

“Why? Didn’t you like that?”

“Oh I did, but that’s just the problem. You’ve got me worked up now, and I’m having a hard time holding back.”

Yeri gulps, and you see her whole body shiver. “I-I mean, I’ll try.” She picks her dumbbells off the floor and lays back again, sticking her tongue out and opening her mouth wide.

“I didn’t mean deepthroat! I just meant I wanted to fuck your pussy.”

You aren’t sure if Yeri’s sigh is one of disappointment or relief. “Ah, I see. Well by all means go for it!”

She scoots herself down the bench so her head isn’t hanging off and starts her next set. You walk around her slowly, just taking in the sight, admiring her again. She’s clearly used to the exercise, because her skin is just barely starting to show a few dots of sweat.

Once you’re between her legs, it’s a simple matter to crouch again just a little to maintain the correct height. You couldn’t see it from your previous angle, but Yeri is soaking wet. It’s only been a few minutes really, but already there’s a puddle underneath her. You mentally give yourself a pat on the back for contributing to that.

Yeri’s entrance is tight, but pushing into her is smooth sailing with how much natural lube she’s producing. Every time she lifts her weights, her muscles tense and she subtly clenches down around you. You might have thought this was a weird concept to begin with, but you’re definitely on board now. Not quite in time with her lifts, you thrust in and out. Looking down, you can see her toes curling. She’s clearly putting in a lot of effort not to squirm out of position.

“Seems like you’re having fun, huh?”

You don’t get an answer. You’re slightly annoyed that she seems to be ignoring you, but you realize she’s probably trying to count reps. But it would be fun if you could make her lose track…

You put your hands on either side of the bench and get a good grip, preparing to turn into a fucking machine.

Unfortunately, you’re the one who gets a surprise when Yeri drops her weights again. Her head shoots up to yours for a needy, open-mouthed kiss. Her damp body presses against yours.

“This is...” she says between the moments she has her tongue in your mouth, “so much better… than trying it… with a dildo!”

You try to push Yeri away so you can get a word in, but her arms and legs are both clamped around you. You give in and lower her down so she’s on her back again, putting you right where you need to be so you can roll your hips.

Yeri squeals and her grip on you gets even tighter. “More!” she shouts when she pulls away for a half a second.

You strain to get your hands under her arms and break out of her grasp. Her nails rake across your back quite painfully as you do, but you manage to pin her arms to her sides. She glares up at you, biting her lip and giggling.

“More?” she asks this time.

“Don’t you have one more set to do? Isn’t three sets a thing?”

Yeri scowls. “I changed my mind. It’s your turn to bench. I need to do my squats right now.”

You roll your hips again. You watch, amused, as Yeri’s fingers clench at the air over and over again. You’re a little worried about what might happen when you let her go, considering she seemed to have some kind of blood fetish. But then again, she might just not be trying all that hard to get away. She’s the one with a fairly athletic career and a workout plan after all.

Even so, you can’t help but tease her with another roll of your hips. You have difficulty finding your own words with how good she feels, tight around your cock. “It was your idea to get fucked while you worked out. I’m just holding you to your word, you know.”

A sly smile curls across Yeri’s face, though it trembles when you grind into her again. “I’m keeping my word! I normally only do two sets at a time!”

“I’m not so sure I believe that.” Her legs let up a bit, so you use the leeway to get in a short thrust.

“You calling me a liar?”

“Of course not. Why would I do that?”

“Because if you don’t call me a liar you get to pick what hole I fuck you with while you’re benching.”

She makes a valid argument.

Deadline for this vote will be 12/26 at 6:00 UTC (just in case some of you will be too busy the day before with holiday stuff) Options for Part 4: 1. No complaints from you if she continues with her pussy! 2. Then again, you’ve got a thing for anal, and she’s offering. 3. She could give you a blowjob. It seems like she wants the practice. 4. (Picked:) But also… Yeri is the first person in one of these stories with big enough boobs for a titfuck.

~~~~~

“Well since you’re definitely done with your sets, and since you’re not lying, you wouldn’t mind titfucking me?”

A few quiet moments go by. Yeri puts a hand on her chin, looking down between your bodies, then to her boobs, then at the dumbells on either side of her. She reaches down to grab the weights again.

“There’s lube in my bag. Grab that first.”

You smile and pull out of her pussy, which makes both of you take a sharp breath at the same time. “Doing more benches huh?”

“Well obviously. This is workout sex. I can’t give you a tit job while I’m squatting, so the best solution is for me to focus extra hard on my arms - which is definitely more than I normally do - so you can stand over me.”

Her bluff is pretty obvious, but it’s amusing, and you’re still getting what you asked for so you’re not going to push your luck by calling her out. This is something you’ve been trying to convince Yerin to try for a while, but she’s brushed it off every time. So if you aren’t getting a boob job here, you’re not sure when or even if you’ll have the chance again.

The lube you find in Yeri’s bag is vanilla scented. While you take a moment to enjoy the smell, Yeri lies down and starts another set with her six kilo weights.

You move to stand over her chest and enjoy watching her muscles work again from a different angle. This time you watch her breasts in particular, putting a hand down to lightly cup one and brush your thumb over her nipple. Much like before, Yeri’s focus on her workout is uncanny. You can’t get her to break, so you decide to help yourself.

You pour a generous amount of the lube into Yeri’s cleavage, smearing it all over. Your dick is still wet from her pussy, but this stuff will certainly last longer. The pleasant smell and the sight of her wet breasts turn on your instincts again. You lower yourself until your dick is resting on her, and you squeeze her tits together.

It’s not nearly as tight as anything else you’ve experienced today, of course, but it’s no less of an incredible feeling. When you start to move back and forth is when you realize how heavenly it is, even if it involves some extra effort. As you slide through Yeri’s cleavage, you notice the tiniest glance down from her. Is she losing her focus?

You smirk and reposition your hands a bit so you can casually rub her nipples between your fingers. Again, a small glance down. This time, it’s accompanied by the corners of her lips moving up.

“If you’re enjoying this already, wait until your hands are free to help out.”

“Ssshut up.”

Her arms tremble for a second. It would make sense if she’s getting distracted by the fact that she’s working out. But she hasn’t done that much, has she? Six kilos isn’t too crazy for an athletic idol like herself. You take a look over to the side again when her arms come all the way up.

There’s a mostly worn off line right before the six. She’s lifting nearly triple what you thought she was. Suddenly, you find yourself concerned with where they might land if she drops them again, given where your feet are, and you resolve to not distract her anymore.

That doesn’t mean you’re going to stop the titfucking of course.

You shift your feet back a little and have to lean forward, but you manage to get back into rhythm quickly. You slide in time with her lifting. The next time you look at her face, Yeri’s eyes are screwed shut and she’s biting her lip.

You aren’t able to contain a groan, and her eyes snap open and look into yours. She gives you a smile and after one last pump of her weights, she tosses them (thankfully) to the sides. Her hands clasp over the top of yours. Her breaths are labored, but she speaks through them just fine.

“I’m helping now. What am I waiting for?”

You pull one of your hands from under hers. It takes you no time at all to find her clit. Her knees come up to trap your arm there, as if you needed the additional encouragement. You circle it slowly with your fingers.

“Oh, I see now.” Yeri’s voice is quiet and her mouth quivers. She looks down at your cockhead poking out of her cleavage with hunger in her eyes.

You take your other hand away from hers, but only so you can put it back on top, where you guide her into kneading her breasts around your dick. She quickly picks up on the hint and squeezes down. She even takes the initiative and lifts her head to try to lick you as you thrust.

Unfortunately, she can’t quite reach, but you’re not going to let her effort go to waste. You hover your now free hand next to her pouty lips. You quickly go back in your mind to when she was very interested in biting, but you’ve already sealed your fate, and her mouth is wrapped around two of your fingers.

Something about watching her dutifully crushing her tits against your thrusting dick and sweetly sucking on your fingers with her eyes closed sets you off. You barely have the time to say, “I’m cumming.”

In that moment, Yeri’s eyes reopen and catch yours. She makes no move to change what she’s doing. So with one last thrust, you groan in ecstasy and orgasm.

Your cum first hits the bottom of her chin, then lands on her neck, then seeps out onto her chest, directed into different directions by her collarbone. She hardly reacts where you can see it, keeping her eyes locked onto yours and wrapping her tongue around your middle finger.

On the other hand, literally, her legs wrap around your arm and roughly pull your hand until it’s fully connected with her pussy. Your brain is still in a mid-orgasm haze, but it’s easy enough to realize what you’re supposed to be doing. You oblige, dipping two fingers inside her. That gets a happy hum out of Yeri, which you feel directly vibrating up your hand.

After you blink the stars out of your eyes, you look down and see that Yeri is scooping at your cum to bring it to her mouth. She sucks it in without letting go of your fingers. You would protest at the awkwardness of feeling your semen being swirled around your knuckles, but the greediness she displays is way too sexually charged for you to care about things like that anymore.

Eventually, she vacuums all of it down and off your hand, swallows, and releases you. She gives you an expectant look, eyebrows raised and mischievous smile plastered across her face.

You continue to finger her, but her eyes don’t move from yours. “Um. Wow, damn,” you say, not sure what else she wants.

Yeri’s eyebrows go higher. “You’re not going to mention…”

“Your amazing body? Or how hot it is when you’re sweating like that?”

Her smile turns into an absolute shit-eating grin. “Protein shakes are good after exercise!”

You bite your cheek to keep from… laughing? An exasperated sigh? You’re not sure, with how terrible and cliché of a line that would have been.

“Yup. Definitely something like that.”

Yeri giggles and pushes you back so she can sit up. She takes the hand you were fingering her with now. “So you still up for more? Joy says Yerin says you can usually go more than once.”

She starts to lick her juices off of your hand. You can’t help but admire her weird pervertedness.

Deadline for the Part 5 vote will be 1/1 at 12:00 UTC (because I am guaranteed not to work that day!) Options for Part 5: 1. Of course you’re still up for more, as long as you don’t have to deal with more of this workout bullshit! 2. (Picked:) You’ll do more, but only after she does the squats she said she was going to do. She doesn’t get to half ass her workout just because you’re here! 3. Nope. You’re out of here. See you around, sloot! 4. Maybe. But you'd actually like to maybe get to know Yeri a little first? You kind of jumped into this real fast.

~~~~~

“What? You’re already done with your workout? You’ve barely done anything though.”

Yeri gives you a dirty look. “I’d normally do more, duh. But you’re here right now.”

“Yeah, to fuck you while you work out.”

“Yeah, which you did.”

“Did you cum?”

“No, but that’s fine. I got what I wanted.”

“Do you want to?”

Yeri looks over at the squatting rack, chewing her lip. “I wouldn’t mind, but it’s hard to make me cum. And it would be dangerous while I’ve got something really heavy on top of me.”

“Challenge accepted then.”

She raises her eyebrows at you.

“You go hard on the rest of your workout and I’ll do the best I can to make you cum once you’re done.”

Yeri doesn’t say anything. She walks over to the rack though, and leans back against it. She looks you up and down, straight-faced.

“If you don’t cum, it’s not like you’re not getting your money’s worth.”

She still says nothing, her eyes landing on your dick.

“Because you’re not paying me for this. Because I’m not a prostitute…” You shrug, unsure of how to proceed when you’re being stared down naked.

“Let’s do it. I want to see if you can do it.”

“If I can? Well, what is it that makes it so hard to make you cum?”

Yeri bends over to grab some weights to put on the bar. “I dunno. If I knew, I wouldn’t have the problem.”

“You nervous?”

“It’s not like I haven’t had sex before.”

“Uncomfortable maybe?”

“No, I’m fine. A bit restless, but who isn’t?” Yeri stands under the bar, adjusting herself so her back is comfortably in the curve.

“I know a couple other people like that. We’ll do a little bit of experimenting. Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t.”

“Good enough for me.”

“Good enough huh?”

“Yup.”

“Sounds unenthusiastic. You sure you’re up for it?”

“I asked you for another round, remember? I just don’t want you getting your hopes up.”

You laugh. “Everything I could have hoped for is standing in front of me nude and about to do squats.”

Yeri chuckles and picks the bar off the rack. “Greasy.”

You just smile and watch as she does the first squat. It looks effortless. You don’t know enough about form to judge it, but it seems like it’s been practiced for quite some time. It’s smooth on the way down, and smooth on the way up. Graceful, even.

The grace of the action is slightly undercut by the fact that she is of course still naked, a little sweaty, and her chest is completely covered in lube. But that makes it no less attractive to you.

As she does more, you walk around, getting a good view from every angle. The mirror wall ensures that if she wants to, she can see you as well. But she seems focused again, staring herself in the eye.

Her breaths are labored. She inhales deeply as she goes down and exhales loudly as she comes up. Her skin starts to glisten all over as her effort comes out in her sweat. You reach out to touch her, but you suddenly get an idea and step back. Shortly after, she sets the bar back on the rack with a heavy sigh.

“What’s up? You can touch. It’s encouraged.”

You go back to her purse and pull out a water bottle you had seen earlier. “I’m going to hold off on touching you for a minute. I like this. I’m changing the plan. I’m not touching you until I can see how much effort you’re putting into this.”

A smirk creeps up one side of Yeri’s mouth. “You’re on,” she says. She catches the water bottle when you toss to her and takes a swig from it. Then she puts another five kilogram weight on either side of the bar.

As she gets into the next set, you move next to her and sit down on the floor. “Look at these hard-working legs,” you say. She didn’t respond the last time you talked to her, but she can still hear you… you assume. This is mostly just you saying your thoughts out loud, but you hope she’s paying attention.

“Taking on all of this to maintain the look of a perfect idol, but healthy. Damn, I would kill for your dedication.”

Glancing at the mirror you see another tiny smile on Yeri’s face.

“What would you say the ratio is? Your effort and practice versus your natural talent. What amount of each is it that makes your performances look so easy? Because watching you right now it has to be at least sixty percent or more in favor of the exercise.”

You reach out again like you’re going to touch her as she comes down, but you keep your hand just far enough away.

“And not just what you do, but the way this body of yours looks. If I wasn’t watching you sculpt it right now, I’d have figured it was sculpted by some Greek god. Belongs in a fucking art museum if you ask me.”

Your hand hovers extremely close to Yeri’s leg. You can actually feel the heat of her body, way above what you’d normally feel coming off a person. It’s like she’s a human furnace. And the amount of sweat on her is very noticeable now.

The bar catches on the rack again and Yeri bends over to grab the water again, drinking a few more swallows of it this time. “Museum my ass,” she says through a breathy laugh.

“That’s what I’m saying! One more set, right?”

Yeri stretches her arms, prompting you to wonder why she didn’t stretch before the workout. Your narrator says you shouldn’t think about it because it’s really hard to remember all of those kinds of details, and that’s not the point of word porn. But yes, you should be careful and stretch before working out.

“That’s right. I hope you’re ready to go again because I’m seriously wanting more.”

“Absolutely,” you say. You stand up and run a hand over Yeri’s butt and up her back, pressing roughly. “I don’t think I’ve even gone soft once since I had this scene in front of me.”

Yeri groans and rolls her shoulders as you touch them. “I can stop now, you know. I could go for the fucking right now.”

“I know, I know. But you’re not done yet. And I can’t believe how much I’m enjoying watching this.” You take your hand away and look Yeri in the eye via the mirror wall. “Hell, I might just have to convince you to do more.”

Without another word, Yeri gets underneath the bar again and picks it up. “If you’re so eager to see more, then…” She cuts herself off and dips into another squat.

Your eyes trace her from the floor up as you circle around. Yeri's thighs tremble from the weight. Her ass spreads from the movement. Her chest heaves from her breaths. Her lips part in just a way that you consider telling her to drop the bar so you can kiss her, but you're committed to watching her finish.

Rather than tempt yourself with the sight of her lips, you look up at her eyes. But you quickly regret it, as she looks back at yours. Her normally bright, mischievous eyes turn into black holes that you can't escape from. You feel a drop of your own sweat curl its way down your cheek.

“Holy shit, Yeri. I can’t wait to fuck you again, but at the same time, seeing this is too incredible to stop.”

Yeri is the one who breaks the gaze first, scrunching up her eyes. You look down again to see the trembling in her legs has gotten pretty bad.

"This is more weight than you usually use, huh?"

"Y-yup."

"How many left?"

"Three."

"Five."

"What the fu--"

You interrupt her with a kiss, since she's fully upright. The heat of the fire inside her drafts into your mouth. You don't want to stop, but you manage to pull away. "Just do five."

She looks up at you, her mouth gaped open. "Kay,"

As Yeri dips down, you walk around her again. Behind her, you put your hands out over her shoulders to spot her when she's back at your height. "Four more."

Yeri glances at you in the mirror, but quickly shuts her eyes again and goes down. You follow to make sure she's safe, but keep your hands off the bar.

Back at the top again, you continue the countdown. "Three."

Yeri doesn’t open her eyes this time. You just follow her down again, lightly resting your wrists against her shoulders to make sure she knows you're there. Her whole body is quivering as she rises again.

She gasps loudly when she's upright. "Keep breathing," you remind her, "Only two more."

"Shit," is the one word she gets out before she goes again. There's a moment when she reaches the bottom that she hesitates, and you fear she's going to drop the bar. You brace your arms, but Yeri clearly isn't one to disappoint. She rises again, shaking like a leaf.

You feel a little bad when she's all the way up again, as she is clearly already beyond what she's comfortable with. Even so, you're confident you can keep her from hurting herself, so you lean forward next to her ear and say very softly, "Just one more."

It seems she's got nothing more to say, because she immediately goes down for the last squat. You nearly lose your balance following her this time.

She squirms as she starts to lift herself up for the last time. The sweat practically pours off of her.

Her form must be a little off too, because the bar knocks against one of the middle rungs on the rack. She jerks back. A struggled croak comes out of her throat, and you can see her face screwed up in the mirror, with the tiniest bit of black eyeliner running down one side of her face. You're just about to grab the bar and push it up the rest of the way, but you barely have the time to make the move when she huffs and practically jumps up the rest of the way.

The bar lands on the rack safely, but Yeri's knees buckle and she starts to collapse forward. Thankfully with how close you are, you're able to catch her almost immediately, and avoid smacking your head on the bar too.

Her skin, even through her sweat, is practically hot enough to burn your hands. You help her lay down on her back and grab her water bottle, opening it and holding it ready.

Despite your concern, you're feeling extremely turned on. Her beautiful chest rises and falls rapidly. Her whole body absolutely shines. And on her face, closed eyes and a satisfied smile.

You put the water bottle to her lips and tilt so just a little trickles into her mouth. "Stay hydrated," you say simply. Yeri complies and gulps down the stream of water.

When you take away the half empty bottle, Yeri groans and uses her arm to roll herself onto her stomach. "Fuck me already."

That's a request you're happy to fulfill. You position yourself over her and spread her ass apart with your thumbs. Your dick is still covered in lube from earlier, and she's pretty slippery right now too…

A pleased hum from Yeri is the last encouragement you need, and you slide into her ass much more easily than you would have expected. Yeri's moan is muffled by the floor.

"So I keep going, eh?"

"Mmmfffmm."

You lift her pelvis up a bit so you can get a hand underneath and on her clit like before. You rub slowly, to match the slow thrusting into her ass. She doesn't move at all, but her moans keep coming. Much like earlier, her pussy is absolutely drenching your hand, so you assume you're doing something right.

Now that you're in full contact with her body, you can feel her heat again. It's hot enough to be uncomfortable, but considering what you just convinced her to do, you don't think your comfort is worth stopping for.

"How do you feel?" you ask.

Yeri lifts her head enough to respond coherently. "My legs fucking hurt."

You chuckle. "Yeah, sorry about that. You just looked so good doing that. Do you need some time to cool do--"

"Don't you dare get off of me."

"Woah! Noted. Nice."

Yeri rests her head on her arms. "The burn is worth it."

"Good to hear. I enjoyed it too."

"Oh? You didn't do much though. After this," she takes an extra deep breath. Whether it's because of something you did or her exhaustion you're not sure. "After this, you can do an actual workout you know. I think it's only fair if you take a turn, right?"

Ummm… is it fair?

Literally only even putting this in because this part was starting to get too long and I need to try to keep them short for my own sanity LOL *dies inside*. So the deadline for Part 6 will be Jan. 4th at 12:00 UTC. Options for Part 6: 1. (Picked:) Of course! You’ve been looking forward to your chance this whole time. You’ll happily get your lift on! Save you a trip to your gym! 2. Sure, if you have to. But maybe it’s something you can discuss when you’re not in the middle of this? 3. You don’t want to work out. That wasn’t exactly what you had planned when you came in, but you’re not going to say that now. 4. No way. You’re here to fuck Yeri. If you’re going to work out, you’ll do it on your own time!

~~~~~

In the time it takes you to pull almost all of the way out and slide all the way back in, you’ve made a decision. “Yeah, fuck it. Maybe you can give me a solid tip or two. I could probably use the exercise anyway.”

“I don’t know. Feels like you’re fine to me, but I’m happy to help if I can.”

“Aw, how flattering. And to think I considered saying no.”

Yeri fidgets a little bit. “That would have been okay. Either way, I don’t want you to stop what you’re doing now.”

“That’s good. Because I don’t want to.”

“But don’t forget. It’s okay if I don’t cum.”

“You know, that’s alright. I’m just going to make this as pleasurable for you as I can while I have you underneath me. Let’s not worry about the orgasm right now.”

Yeri holds her head up long enough to look at you in the mirror and say, “Oh my, you caught on. Thank you. But about the orgasm… I do like the idea of your cum in my ass.”

You’re not going to bother arguing against that. If that’s what she wants, you’re happy to provide.

You give Yeri’s ass a few more long, slow, languid thrusts. All the while, you keep a steady pace on her clit.

For as tired as she must be, Yeri doesn’t leave all of the work to you. She grinds her hips in tiny circles and clenches down on her pelvis. She must be doing some kind of exercise for that too, because you know for a fact both Eunha and Yerin have never been able to do that quite as effectively as Yeri is now (though you do feel a sense of deja vu and the name Seungyeon briefly pops into your head). You have to pause each time she does it, and you’re not sure if you’re annoyed by it or if it’s the most amazing thing you’ve ever experienced.

At the end of an extra long stroke, Yeri reaches behind herself and lays her wrist on the back of your neck, pulling you down so your mouth is next to her ear. You take it as a hint, so you nibble and kiss around the outer edge.

Yeri giggles in a low tone. Her fingers stretch their way into your hair and lightly scratch back and forth.

The sensual tone of the moment overtakes your sensibilities for just a second. Just long enough for you to back up and drive in with one powerful thrust. You hear Yeri’s breath catch in her mouth and you bite down where her shoulder meets her neck, just above and behind her collarbone.

It wasn’t your intention to bite especially hard, but you were a little caught up. Yeri’s caught breath turns into the very first bit of a scream before it catches once again. Her fingers spasm on the back of your head, and every other part of her body that’s in contact with yours tenses up.

You also don’t intend to stop. You don’t quite pound into her the same way, but you do move faster than you were moving before. You change your angle to be more vertical, and you manage to get a couple of fingers around Yeri’s clit.

“Oh god,” Yeri manages to say.

Her ass clenches down on your cock painfully hard. Her whole body freezes up, and the hand on your head feels like it’s stuck. You’re just able to keep thrusting. It seems that’s exactly what you needed to do, too.

Yeri screams out incoherently. You’re a little thankful that she’s facing away from you and into the floor, because you feel like you might have lost your eardrums otherwise. Even as it is, your ears hurt.

Her hand falls away and pats the floor. Her voice is much weaker now. “I came… I came,” she mutters.

You cock an eyebrow up. It wasn’t as hard to make that happen as you were led to believe, especially for anal sex. Fully hilted in, you grind your hips around. “That was easy.”

“Shut uuup,” her voice sounds hoarse. You look to the side to make sure the water didn’t get knocked over at any point, because you get the feeling she’ll need it. “It doesn’t usually happen… like that.”

“What do you think was different?”

“I don’t know… the clit stuff maybe?”

“You don’t get your clit played with often?”

“No, I… I said shut up! Can you… let me up?”

You hold back a laugh and do as she asks. Untangling yourself is slightly difficult with her dead weight on your arm, but you help out by pulling her over onto her back and handing her the water bottle.

Looking down at your hand now that it’s free, you see it’s completely soaked. You must not have noticed how wet she was getting with all of the heat and being distracted by the intense fucking. And right where she was just lying down, there’s practically a lake. You’re not sure where her sweat ends and where her sexual fluid begins (but you have a pretty good idea).

Yeri drags herself up into a sitting position against the squatting rack and finishes off the rest of the water. “Well now my legs and my ass are going to be sore for days. Good thing I’m only MCing stuff I can sit down for.”

“Are you going to be okay with that? After that scream, your voice is a little bit…”

“Yeah, I’ll just tell them I’ve got a little cold. They’ll buy anything.”

The two of you smirk at each other.

“God damn though, that was good. Is it weird to say thanks for that?”

You chuckle. “Nah. And you’re welcome. Will you need more water?”

“I’m dehydrated as fuck now, so yes. But there’s a vending machine right down the hall. But this was enough to hold me over for a minute. What are you looking to do?”

Yeri gestures around the room. There’s quite a bit of equipment you could try out.

This will be another short vote period! Voting will close on 1/6 at 12:00 UTC. Options for Part 7: 1. The bench is free. That’s pretty basic stuff, and probably where you’re most confident in showing off. 2. She’s got a leg press machine so you can destroy your legs like Yeri just did. Actually that would have been very convenient earlier… 3. (Picked:) Try your hand (and the rest of your body) at pilates! You don’t know what to do, but you’re sure to get a laugh! 4. You lied! You’re out of here! HA!

~~~~~

You point up at the pilates setup and Yeri laughs.

"Yeah! This will be great! You're totally the graceful type."

You're not sure if that's sarcasm you detect in her voice, but you shrug it off. Her laugh is what you wanted to hear and you're already successful in that.

"Oh of course," you say with a very false confidence, "You know they call me the pilates master? Because they do."

You step over and lift yourself onto the device. You grab a hold of it the same way Yeri did before. At least, you’re close. You're not exactly sure.

Very carefully, you step your way up the bars and find yourself horizontal. Then you go further and completely lose your sense of direction, though you think you might be upside down. The blood rushes to your ears but you still hear the sound of Yeri giggling across the room.

“You weren’t kidding. That’s a super advanced move.”

“Yup. I invented it,” you say, pretending to be sure of yourself despite the disorientation, “I call this move the Reverse Crab with Lion Splash. It’s really good for your kneecaps.”

Looking up, or down, or sideways, one of those directions, you see an upside down Yeri covering her mouth to attempt to hold in her snickering.

You complete your sort-of backflip, so that you’re facing the padded table below you, your knees caught on the middle bar. You can feel your hamstrings, back, and shoulders straining to keep from falling right then and there.

Yeri’s barely contained laughter bursts out. You didn’t think it was that funny, but she’s an odd person, so you’re not surprised. Until, that is, she says, “You’re just freeballing up there with those gymnastics huh?”

It hits you that the sight of your lubed up and mostly softened dick flopping around as you awkwardly twist your way around the bars probably is fairly humorous. And a bit embarrassing to match. You suddenly feel a little bit self-conscious. And yet, you manage one last retort, “Uh yeah. Haven’t you heard of penilates?”

Yeri snorts and pats the floor. “You’re funny, you know that? I like it. Get back down here and I’ll show you how to do some basics if you really want to do pilates.”

Well, as long as she claims you’re funny.

You maneuver yourself out of the bars and drop off the rack. “Alright coach! What do I do?”

“First, come over here and lay down on your stomach. Put your hands to the sides like you’re going to do a pushup, but like, right under your shoulders.”

The lightly padded floor makes the action relatively comfortable. Yeri rolls on her hips so that she’s able to put a hand on the small of your back. A strangely comfortable chill runs up your spine at the feeling.

“Now push yourself up with your arms, but make sure your legs stay attached to the floor.”

You easily follow her instructions.

“Good!” she says cheerfully. She lifts your chin up, putting more of a stretching sensation on your chest. “Make sure you’re looking straight forward. This is called a Swan. It’s not a big deal, but it helps you with stretching out your core.”

“Yeah, I feel that for sure. I was expecting something a little more intense.”

“Most people are. Pilates is pretty easy though. Mostly.”

“Oh yeah? What’s the hard stuff?”

“Calm it down! We’ll get there. Probably not today though.”

“Aw, why not?”

“Because I’d like to do this with you and I can barely feel my legs.”

“Wow, I’m that good of a fuck?”

Yeri runs her hand over your butt. “Yup. It was all you and your sexual prowess and had nothing to do with anything else that happened since we got here.”

The two of you share a chuckle.

“So how long do I hold this?”

“About now would be good. For you, I’d say… do that for about thirty seconds at a time. And three times of course.”

“What if I normally only do two sets?” you ask as you lay yourself back on the floor.

She lightly smacks your ass. “Hey! What did we agree on about not calling me a liar!”

“Oh, sorry. I would never call you out for lying.”

“That’s… pretty much right. Now, up up!”

Once in your second Swan, you have a thought. “Hey, old reference at this point, but I’ve got a question about what you were talking about in The Lounge.”

“Shoot.”

“I asked why the three of you don’t just have sex with each other, and Seulgi said it was about wanting different things and being uncomfortable with it. So uh, have you tried to bite them before?”

“Oh god. Yeah, I tried that once or twice. Real good reactions out of all four of them.”

“Four?”

“Yup. Well, five. All five of us have tried having sex with each other. Still do sometimes, if we’re feeling desperate.”

“But you’re not into it?”

“Basically. Seulgi is in mad love with Wendy but she’s scared to admit it. Wendy is obsessed with Joy, but Joy is trying to convince herself that she’s straight. Irene and Wendy are both only interested in soft, nice sex, but they both want to be penetrated and can’t seem to get their act together with a double ended dildo. Seulgi wants to be a domme, but ever since Wendy was nearly murdered, she has to go easy on her hips. I’m totally into being dommed, but Seulgi is a wimp and when I talk back to her she gets all nervous and shit.”

You assume thirty seconds have passed, so you lower yourself to the floor again. You knew you would get some kind of explanation when you asked, but you weren’t expecting so much information. You think you may have already forgotten some of it.

Yeri keeps rambling, “Irene used to fuck Seulgi all the time, but during their sub unit promotions they got really busy with each other and I think they just kind of lost the mood, you know? Plus, now that Seulgi wants to explore her rougher side, Irene’s just not into it. Joy used to be the perfect fuck buddy for everybody because she was so good at accommodating everyone and enjoying it. Oh actually, she even did the pet play thing with me once! No clue what we were thinking though. I tried to be a puppy, but then I made a joke about Haetnim and that totally shut the whole thing down. And I’m pretty sure that it isn’t a healthy thing for Wendy, because of how hard she’s crushing for a quote unquote straight girl. But yeah, that’s the point with Joy. She’s claiming that she’s totally straight and started dating Cheungae, but I don’t know how long that’s going to-- Oh no, stay on your stomach.”

You had started to roll over after finishing your third Swan, but Yeri holds you back by your shoulder. “Next I’ll have you do a T.”

“A T? Like the letter T?”

“Exactly.”

“Is it like this?” You stick your arms straight out to either side and point your feet straight down, keeping your face on the floor.

Yeri laughs. “Basically, yes, but now pick your head, chest, arms, and legs up as far as you can, looking forward. Hold that for five seconds, five times.”

This move in particular is actually a bit harder, as it sounds like the only part of you meant to stay on the floor is your stomach.

“Sorry by the way. I rant on like a gossipy bitch sometimes. Was that too much information?”

The voting deadline for Part 8 will be 1/13 at 12:00 UTC! Options for Part 8 [IMPORTANT]: 1. “Well, it was maybe a bit much.” You can’t blame her for oversharing, but it’s no big deal. She seemed extremely eager to bring all that up, after all. 2. (Picked:) “Nope! In fact, tell me more!” Should you know all of this? No. Do you want to know more? Absolutely yes. 3. “Yeah, you really shouldn’t say so much.” It was pretty rude of her to say all of that stuff about her members’ personal relationships. Your question was much simpler than that.

~~~~~

"Nope! In fact, tell me more!"

Yeri chuckles. "Just as long as you don't spill any of what I tell you, alright? We could both get in some real trouble."

That's how secrets always work, right? You can keep the secrets and the non-secrets separate and never tell anyone anything that would be a problem, right? Yeah, no problem.

Right?

"Well, I don't think Joy's relationship is going to last much longer. She is trying really hard, but the strain is going to get to her. And one of our members is absolutely going to fuck her soon and restore the balance."

You snort, forcing you to put your hands and legs down. "Restore the balance? What is this, an epic fantasy novel?"

"You know what I mean! She's the perfect fucker or fuck toy for every member, and in the past, she's loved that. She told us so herself. But we've been together for years, so we know when she's not alright. About a month after she started dating Cheungae, she said she couldn't have sex anymore. And it's just been downhill from there. They're fucking each other, but she has said more than once that she misses fucking other people too."

"The things people do for the sake of relationships."

"Yeah, it's cute, but…" Yeri grips your ass cheek as you come out of your last T. "You know how freeing it is to not be in one."

You sigh, thinking for a second about something SinB told you. "Yup… but hey, has Joy talked to this guy about an open relationship? Or like some other kind of arrangement? Just taking a wild guess here, but I'd imagine any guy would die for a threesome with Joy and you."

"I offered. I heard from Wheein that Cheungae's got a dick the size of the DMZ, so I'm all for giving that a spin. Joy rejected the idea though."

"Damn, why?"

"Well Cheungae isn't the problem. Joy is. I don't know if it's selfishness or if she is just trying way too hard to make a normal relationship work, but she doesn't want to share, herself or her man."

"That sucks. I'm sorry."

"Ah, it's okay. Like I said, I don't think it'll last much longer. And as far as I'm concerned, I've got myself a solid replacement!"

"I'm not a commodity!"

"Sure, ho, sure." Yeri giggles and slaps your butt.

You reach between her legs and push a couple of fingers into her pussy. "Sounds like you're trying to get me mad."

"Why would I do that? You… degenerate sack of shit who can't even fuck the right hole?"

Suddenly, you hear the sound of Yeri's phone going off. It's Wendy's voice. "Are you ready for this? Zimzalabim!"

Yeri scowls. "Hurry up and pound my twat into the core of the planet."

You hold in a laugh and push Yeri onto her back and climb on top of her. Your sweat mixes with hers as you press your bodies together. She’s not burning hot like before, but she’s still pretty warm, and there’s certainly fire in her eyes as she pulls you to her lips--

“Are you ready for this? Zimzalabim!”

Yeri’s tongue invades your mouth forcefully. Your practiced cock finds its way into her with no trouble at all. There’s no hesitation from either one of you. She pulls you into her, and you--

“Are you ready for this? Zimzala-- Yeri! I’m calling you on the important line! Why aren’t you picking up?”

That doesn’t sound like a ringtone anymore. You pull away from Yeri’s kiss, but she suddenly sticks a finger against your cheek. “Don’t you dare stop. I don’t want to feel my legs.”

“Didn’t that already happen?” you ask, with no small amount of snark.

“Yeri? Are you still? Oh god. I’m sorry--” Static crackles through the speaker for a moment. “This must be really awkward for you.”

“Oh don’t mind me,” you say, “I’m just doing my job, apparently.” You back up just a bit and start thrusting hard and fast. Yeri’s breath gets pushed out of her with the force of the first one, but she quickly adjusts and matches your rhythm.

There’s a pause from Wendy. “O-okay. That’s good. I mean, wait! No! Yeri! Irene is on her way to pick you up to take you to the studio!”

“God- dammit- Wendy-” Yeri is having difficulty speaking, only managing to get a word or so out for each time you slam into her. “He’s so- fucking- good- Tell- her- to- wait!”

You could swear that you can hear Wendy blushing through the phone. “We can’t! You’ve got to record…”

“He doesn’t- care- about- spoilers!”

“I mean, I kind of do… How did the call start if we’re over here?”

“I had to install an app on her phone to automatically answer the call-- I mean, you’ve got to hurry and pack up! Irene is going to be there any second!”

Yeri whines in staccato, and is about to say something but is interrupted. And you’re suddenly forced to stop fucking her by a voice that chills your spine like being lost in a blizzard.

“Wendy’s right, Yeri. We’ve got to go.”

Looking to the side, you and Yeri both see Irene standing in the wide-open doorway. The lack of expression on her face is unnerving in a way you can’t accurately describe.

“Come on Irene, please! We can just record later! Just give us five more minutes!”

You feel like you could comment on the fact that Yeri sounds like she’s complaining to her mother to stay in bed, but Irene lifts her eyebrows a few millimeters and your motivation to make a joke is suddenly gone.

“Uuugh!” Yeri reluctantly, slowly, pushes you to the side.

Well, seems like that’s over with. But maybe you can convince Irene to let it not be over with… Or not. Hard to say.

The voting deadline for Part 9 will be 1/17 at 12:00 UTC! Options for Part 9: 1. Irene doesn’t scare you! Tell her you’re not done with Yeri yet! SM can wait for her! 2. Okay, Irene scares you. You should apologize and see yourself out of here. 3. (Picked:) Eh. No big deal. Yeri said that Irene is basically just the same as the other RV members.

~~~~~

You lean back against one of the vertical bars of the squat rack. The metal is very cold, making you flinch. But you play it cooler than the metal, propping your chin up on your wrist by putting your elbow on your knee.

“Hey Irene,” you say casually, as if you weren’t naked in front of one of the most powerful idols in the business, “How’s your morning so far?”

“It’s fine.” Irene is just as casual as you are. She seems more interested in watching as Yeri crawls around the gym on her arms, gathering clothes.

“So you have a new comeback soon, huh?”

Her eyes seem unfocused for a moment, as if she’d just spaced out.

“Oh. Yes,” she eventually says.

Irene’s not especially talkative, you surmise.

“Well, if the recording isn’t too urgent, you can hang out with us for a bit longer. I bet Yeri would be willing to share, assuming you were also wanting in on this situation.”

“Oooh, hey yeah. You want some Irene?” Yeri asks. A cheesy grin spreads across her face. “I got him all warmed up for you.”

Irene gestures softly at Yeri’s bra in the middle of the floor. Yeri rolls her eyes and reaches out for it.

“I appreciate the thought.”

You shrug and move to grab your own clothes. Putting them on feels gross considering the sweat and cum all over you. You resolve to take a shower as soon as you get home. “It was worth a shot.”

Yeri gets her sports bra back on and lets out a long sigh. “You sure though? My voice is a little fucked up right now. We could say I’m sick and that you’re just taking care of me like a good leader.”

“Yes. Let’s go.”

A woman of few words, this one.

With your legs fully functional, you’re able to finish dressing much quicker than Yeri, and approach Irene, giving her a standard bow. “Good to meet you, by the way. Sounds like you’ve already heard about me.”

“From Joy, yes.” Irene bows back to you. “Is it okay if I get your contact from Wendy?”

You blink in shock. That was easy enough. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good to me.”

Irene nods, expression still inscrutable. “Do you prefer calls or texts?”

“Either works for me.”

Yeri pops in. “He’s not actually a prostitute you know.”

For the first time, Irene makes a face you can decipher. It seems to be a bit of minor, subtle shock. “Oh, so this…” She points back and forth between you and Yeri. “Was for…”

You finish for her after she pauses. “The hell of it, yeah.”

“I paid you in salmon bagels,” Yeri says.

“Well that and a free pilates lesson, sure.”

The tiniest smile curls up the corners of Irene’s lips. “How fun.”

It gets silent again, besides the sounds of Yeri huffing as she works to get her pants back on.  You nod quietly, unsure of how to respond.

Thankfully, Irene looks you in the eye and motions for you to come closer, which you do. While Yeri is occupied with pulling her hoodie back over her head, Irene leans in close to you and whispers into your ear, so quietly it takes you a moment to process what she’s saying.

“I heard you earlier. Stay away from Joy.”

You back off again, a little struck by what sounded like a very calm threat.

“I’m parked downstairs Yeri. No more than five minutes, okay?”

“Oh come on, you tell me that now?!”

Without another word, Irene turns and walks back out the door. You’re still a little stunned, watching the back of her head, when she looks back over her shoulder and gives you a coy smile and a wink. Your head swims with questions.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been staring at the now-closed door, but you’re snapped out of it by a loud smack on the back of your jeans, just below your ass. Yeri’s next to you, keeping herself upright with her hand on the wall. “A little help here?”

You look down and see her legs are shaking like leaves. “Oh shit, yeah, I’ve got you.”

Scooping your arm under hers, you support as much of her weight as you can on your shoulder. It feels like she’s mostly able to stay on her feet on her own, but she definitely wobbles a bit.

“You going to be okay?” you ask once you’re in the hallway.

“Oh totally! I’ll be able to walk... mostly normally once we’ve reached the studio. But you know how it is. Squat until your legs give out and then immediately get ass-fucked to an unexpected orgasm, and that’ll give you a few minutes worth of trouble.”

“That’s not actually a sensation I’m familiar with.”

“Who knows? Maybe Seulgi will get her domme act together and then you will be!”

You’re not so sure how you feel about that.

“Hey by the way. Irene was asking about getting your number, right? Can I get it now? Faster than getting it from Wendy since she’ll probably be out all day.”

This will be the last vote for Yexercise! *Wipes away tears* The deadline for this vote will be 1/23 at 12:00 UTC, at which point we’ll be talking on the Discord server about what’s next! Options for Part 10: 1. (Picked:) Of course she can have your number right away! You had fun, she had fun, you should have more fun! 2. Don’t let this crazy have your contact info. In fact, you should let Wendy know to give her a fake number…

~~~~~

You don’t even need to say anything. You pull out your phone, open your contacts, and hand it to Yeri. She puts her info in and sends herself some random gibberish in a text.

“Awesome!” she says, slipping the phone back into your pocket expertly as you make your way down the hall together, “No requests for sleazy pictures though. Can’t have anything getting out if something happens to your phone. Or mine.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream-- well, I would dream of it. But I won’t ask.”

Yeri giggles. “Ah, hey. The water’s right there. Wanna stop for just a second?”

At the machine, Yeri swipes her key card just like she did at the door to the gym. It only contains what you recognize as the cheap water brands, unsweetened tea, some dried fruit snacks in plain packaging, and a variety of protein bars. There’s no indicator for payment anywhere though.

���Perks of the personal, private gym?” you ask.

“Perks of the personal, private gym,” Yeri says.

A couple of water bottles are pushed out at arm’s height. Yeri hands one to you, takes the other for herself, and you both gulp down about half before continuing.

“I’ve got to say, I was expecting this to be one of those expensive waters. Blessed by monks, imported from Egypt, shit like that.”

Yeri smirks. “You know what they say. SM water tastes like water. No reason to spend wastefully.”

She finishes her water off, and you get to the stairwell. You think that three flights of stairs might be a little difficult at the moment, but fortunately there’s an elevator nearby you hadn’t noticed when you were following Yeri up earlier.

As you’re gradually taken to the ground floor, Yeri nudges your side. “If I ever share something juicy with you by the way, I expect at least five words in response. None of that ‘LOL’ followed by silence stuff.”

You laugh. “What if I can’t think of anything to say?”

“You can just bullshit an answer. No biggie.”

“What if my life is threatened because I know your gossip?”

“Your life, huh?”

“Well, not specifically. I just assume Irene will break every bone in my body. I guess I can live through that, right?”

“God, she better not be doing that again.”

You stare at Yeri. “Doing that again?”

“Making people uneasy. Point is, don’t worry about her. She’s just got a… uh, an unusual way of communicating, we’ll say.”

“Something like that, sure.”

Yeri puts her free hand on your chest. “She’ll warm up to you, I promise. I’ll put in a good word for you! As long as you do me one more favor.”

Anything to get a good word in to Irene so you don’t end up murdered. “What’s that?”

“Just give me one more, real good kiss in front of her. Right up next to the car window!”

You wrap your arms around her waist and shift Yeri so she’s in front of you. “Like this?” you ask, and half-lift her to your height. The moment your lips touch, you feel the elevator jerk to a stop and the door opens.

“Maybe a bit more than that, but I like where your head’s at.”

“It could be between your legs,” you say, mimicking Yeri’s seductive tone from earlier at The Lounge.

“Don’t tempt me like that!”

All smiles, you help Yeri feebly get outside. You spot a car with dark windows, where you can barely see Irene’s silhouette inside. It also happens to be the only car on the street, and Yeri easily confirms that it’s the correct one.

Yeri is thankfully able to stand on her own once you get to the passenger side. You open the door for her, but before she gets in, you spin her to face you and dive in for a real kiss. She moans and her arms wrap up under your shirt instantly, so you respond by sliding one hand down the back of her yoga pants. It should be right where Irene can see your fingers outlined through the fabric.

Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be a reaction from Irene. You wonder what it will take to crack her neutral act.

“Mmm, even more than that next time, okay?” Yeri pulls away from you and turns to get into the car.

“Of course. I might charge you one extra water bottle next time though.”

“Uh-oh. I’ll be sure to save up for it.”

You laugh together before she sits down. You lean over to pop your head in after her. “See you next time then. And good to finally meet you Irene!”

Irene looks up at you from the book she was reading. “Hm? Oh yes, a pleasure.”

Yeri catches your gaze again. You can see the moment of sudden, unbridled thrill in her eyes, so you wait for her to say…“No Irene! The pleasure was mine!”

Her hand shoots up, and you meet it for an excellent, but questionably deserved high-five. Irene sighs heavily.

You laugh and back up again. “Nice one, Yeri. See you later.”

“See ya, ho!” Yeri shouts before closing the door. As is the case with Yerin, you’re pretty sure you’re stuck with nicknames like that from now on.

You wave the car goodbye and turn back around to make your way back home. You could use a shower.

THE END

~~~~~

Post-story notes:

Hey everybody! Thank you again for joining me for one of these crazy vote stories. I’ve really appreciated the participation, and I think we’ll be getting even more next time!

We’ll be discussing the subject and characters for the next story on the Discord. Suggestions so far include (forgive me if the capitalization is incorrect on these)… Dreamcatcher, WJSN, Mamamoo, Momoland, CLC, Oh My Girl, Lovelyz, more Gfriend, and Fromis_9! But nothing’s set in stone yet! Fill out the form in #announcements if you have even more suggestions to add to the hat.

As for when the next story starts, I’m going to say probably the first week of February. As you may have seen me mention, I’ll be writing some shorts just to spill some of my creative juices. On top of that, I quit my day job! Because I’m starting school! So exciting and nerve wracking! Given how stupidly stressful my day job was, I’m hoping I should be able to pump out stories a little more frequently moving forward.

The storyline unlocks from Yexercise are going to look pretty obvious: [Yeri - Workout buddy] [Yeri - Gossip girl]

And just like with Movie Night, here are some fun facts about unpicked options! At least one of you read these last time, and made a very astute observation about Sowon, so you’ll be getting your wish for that fairly soon.

Part 1. Picking Wendy or Seulgi would have (obviously) resulted in a different name for the story altogether! The names I had in mind weren’t finalized, but the top contenders were “Snow Day” for Wendy and “Dom-Flavored Pringles” for Seulgi.

Part 3. Yeri had two animals in mind for the pet-play: She could have been a cat or a cow. The option to be a puppy would have also been there, but she would have been skeptical about it given her history trying that with Joy.

Part 4. At first, I wasn’t planning on there being any anal in Part 6, but because the vote for Part 4 was SO close, I went back and changed my plans, just so y’all could get what you wanted. :P

Part 5. Again, just mentioning how close the vote was. I was very interested to see that for most of the voting period, the options to keep Yeri working out and to stop and just talk to her were neck and neck. I’m still feeling out what the best balance is between fluff and smut, and you guys are surprisingly wholesome!

Part 7. If you had chosen the leg workout, you’d have been too exhausted to help Yeri out of the gym, resulting in Irene rescheduling the recording session. She’d have stayed to hang out, and that would have blocked off the [Yeri - Gossip girl] storyline (which does have some smaller impact on the relationship with Irene moving forward as well, btw).

[fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan]

My Treasure - William Nylander

Request: Can you do one where you are pregnant with William nylanders baby and getting hate and he makes you feel better

Getting pregnant at 24 was definitely not a part of my 5 year post college plan. Then again falling in love wasn't one of my bullet points either. But when my period was over a week late I knew that everything was about to change. William was thrilled when he saw the bolded word on the pregnancy test, immediately wanting to tell anyone he could. I was a little more hesitant to share the news.

I knew that I wanted children someday and those feelings intensified once my relationship with William became serious, I just figured we would be married and I would be a little more secure in my teaching job before we would add a baby to the mix. We told our families first and they were all excited and happy for us, same with friends and teammates. The real problem came when we started to share the news with the rest of the world. On William's social media everyone was happy for us and wishing us well, but mine is where all of the hate went.

She probably got knocked up so he couldn't leave her.

Hopefully you don't gain too much baby weight, you could already stand to lose a little.

You're not even pregnant with his kid I bet, just went to the guy with the biggest paycheck.

I did my best to delete the comments as soon as I saw them, hiding them from William so he wouldn’t get upset. Some people didn't get the hint after the first deleted comment and I would end up blocking them. Two weeks after announcing our pregnancy the nasty comments were outweighing the nice ones of my post. My pregnancy hormones went crazy one day when my pants didn't fit for the first time of the pregnancy and William was away on a road trip until the morning.

I canceled my plans to go get dinner with some friends and instead had a pity party in some of William's clothes with ice cream and reading through all the horrible things that were being said about me.

I can't believe he is still with her, she is not pretty enough for him.

Fat cow

You are going to ruin his career with the child.

I cried myself to sleep on the couch after midnight and didn't wake up until someone was brushing some hair out of my face. Slowly opening my eyes I saw a concerned William kneeling on the floor in front of me. "Ellie, what’s wrong? Were you crying?" I sat up, making room for William next to me before he pulled me into his lap. "Your friends texted me last night and told me you skipped on going to dinner with them. Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?"

"The baby is fine, I just couldn't find anything that fit comfortably with the bump. I had a pity party with ice cream and must have fallen asleep." Everything I said was true, I just left out one major thing.

"I'm sorry babe, but can I finally buy you some new maternity clothes? Please." He gave me puppy dog eyes as he begged, causing me to laugh and turn to face him more.

"You love shopping more than I do."

"Is that a yes? I'm taking that as a yes. Go get ready, shopping might take all day." With that he was carrying me down the hall, laughing the entire way. When he finally set me down I managed to find a t-shirt dress that wasn't too uncomfortable and proceeded to get ready.

***

After a full day of shopping William took me out to dinner at our favorite Spanish restaurant. I excused myself after we ordered a bunch of small plates to share to run to the bathroom and when I got back William was standing at the table with a large plastic bag and shaking hands with the owner. "What's going on?" 

"I thought you might be more comfortable if we went home and ate. I've kept you busy most of the day so I know your feet must be bothering you." His tone was off but I brushed it off as we headed out. The drive home was a tense silence without even the radio playing.

I didn't say anything until we were in the apartment and William started slamming cabinet doors as he got plates. "What's wrong?"

"I just don't get why people spend so much time trying to make other people down! Like, what does it do for them?" He had a fire in his eyes I had only ever seen on the ice, and I wasn't sure what was causing it.

"I'm going to some more context here. Did something happen at the restaurant?"

"Before we left the last store I took a couple of pictures for our shopping day and posted them to Instagram. I thought it was no big deal, just sharing what I was up to on a day off. And then when you were in the bathroom your phone started buzzing like crazy so I thought someone was trying to call you. But all of your notifications were for Instagram, and I know I shouldn't have opened the app on your phone but I thought maybe it was your girlfriends' group chat and Sophie finally got engaged." I let out a small chuckle at that, we basically were taking bets on when her and her high school sweetheart would finally take the next step.

"I'm guessing that isn't what you saw." I knew what he was going to say next but I was hoping with every fiber of my being that I was wrong.

"No, I saw the worst of humanity in your DMs. I just- how can people be so cruel?" William slumped into the bar stool next to me at the island as I reached for my phone having to see what was sent to me now. "Ellie…" I ignored his worried warning as I opened up the app, going to my DMs.

Fat cow, you only got pregnant so that you could lock in some who is far too good for you. I hope he sees he could do so much better and kicks you out before that baby ruins his career and life!

So you are just using him for his money. I bet the baby isn’t even his, probably a teammate who makes less. Whore!

Bitch, why are you even with Willy? He is a literal hockey god and from what i can tell you are just some stupid high school math teacher. He can do so much better than you. 

There were over 50 messages just like those, all sent within the last hour. I didn't even dare look at the comments on my latest post, even though it was a few days old the braver trolls put their nasty messages there for the whole world to see.

"How long has this been happening?" I had hopped off my stool, going to plate up the food we brought home and trying to avoid the conversation I knew we needed to have. "Ellie… Please talk to me. How long?"

"Honestly, since we started posting that we were dating. It's gotten worse since we posted that we are gonna be parents."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because part of me thought that if I just deleted the messages and comments that it wasn't real. That if I was the only one who knew that I could just pretend that it was all in my head. Then there is that stupid voice in my head that likes to play up my insecurities, that made me feel like if you saw what people were sending me that you would believe it. And I know that thinking that is stupid and unrealistic but it can sometimes be the loudest thing in there." William also got off his stool, coming to stand right in front of me. He kissed my forehead before cupping my cheeks and holding eye contact.

"Min skatt, never feel like you have to hide this from me. You are the one I am in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the only one that can make me smile and laugh when I am in a bad mood after a game. You are the only one I see myself growing old, and possibly bald with." I let out a gasp at the word bald, he was so protective about his hair.

"See, the rational part of me knows all that."

"Well, let me make it clear to every part of you. I love you with every fiber of my being and as soon as I meet with your father next week to ask for his blessing, I will be asking you to marry me."

"Will…"

"But I am going to need you to act surprised when I ask." That got a small chuckle out of me. 

"I'll do my best." William's stomach growled then, making both laugh. "Let's eat before your stomach starts communicating with us again." William just nods, a thoughtful look on his face that I'm sure would cause problems later but right now I just wanted to live in the happy moment.

After reheating the food and settling at the kitchen island to eat, I went through and deleted all the DMs and comments. I barely registered what they said as I deleted. What I didn't know was Will was looking at the comments as I deleted before pulling out his own phone. It was only when my phone buzzed with another notification that I found out what he was doing. 

@williamnylander tagged you in a post

The post was two pictures side by side; the first was from our first date at a Christmas market, all bundled up and snuggled into each other as we took the photo in a mirror. The other picture was a selfie he took of us at my last doctor's appointment for the pregnancy, both of us were all smiles as I sat on the exam table with a picture of the sonogram on the screen behind us.

Two pictures of the love of my life. One from our first date, where I was a clutz and spilt hot chocolate all over her light grey coat and she still agreed to a second date. The other from a few weeks ago when we got another look at our baby. 

I can say without any doubt that having Ellie in my life has only made it better. She has become my sounding board for when I'm frustrated, my motivation to score more goals, and my ray of sunshine on any cloudy day. 

I knew from that first date that Ellie was the one for me, no one can tell me otherwise. And now she is carrying our first child. My heart continues to grow and fall in love with this amazing, kind, dedicated, caring, loving, and perfect woman each day.

I am so lucky to spend time with you each day and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and jealous of what we have.

Min skat, I am so excited to watch our family grow and experience the joys and challenges of parenthood with you. Ellie I love you and can't wait to see where we go next. 

Together.

The tears started flowing before I even read the caption, the pictures enough with my pregnancy hormones. But the words William managed to write push me over the edge, I was crying at the love he put into the words but also laughing at the not so subtle 'fuck you' to all the nasty people who sent you messages.

"Did I overstep? I don’t want to embarrass you."

"It's perfect. You're perfect. I love you."

"I love you too, and I plan on showing you that everyday. Even if it is something as simple as an Instagram post."

"It's not just the post, it's that you are saying to all the people who see your pictures and then come trash talk to me that you know about them. And that will probably stop some of them from doing it again. And anyone who doesn't get the message gets blocked."

"Good. Now, let go watch some TV and cuddle." Nodding grabbing my plate of food, following William to the couch before curling into his side.

As William pulled up the next episode of a show we were binging, I thought of something. "You never have told me what 'min skat' means."

"It means 'my treasure'. And it reminds me how lucky I am every day to have you in my life."

[gloves94]

To Be So Lonely [Draco Malfoy] 26

Rating:  Pairings: Draco Malfoy/OC Chapter warnings: Anxiety! Phobia!

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

MY MASTER-LIST

Did Professor Snape actually think she was stupid?

Probably. Ellar Lestrange had tried to kill her. How- why on Earth would she ever considering being around him ever again? An unpleasant chill went down her spine at the thought of being around him. She thought of the crazed look on his eyes as he attempted to drown her, his rough grip on her body, his cold lips. Consider it done Snape.

It wouldn’t happen again.

However, the thought of getting even – the need to make him feel just as small as he had made her feel – the thought was more than tempting, but how could she hurt him? As far as she knew it didn’t look like Ellar had a weakness. She tried to empathize with him, to think of his intentions and have the benefit of the doubt yet couldn’t reach a conclusion.

‘Mr. Lupin, I apologize it has taken so long for me to write to you back. I hope the gloves I sent you fit you well. I’m not the most skilled knitter so I have enchanted them with a charm that should keep your hands warm (it is still a work in progress, so I hope the charm sticks).

Hogwarts has been well Hogwarts. I’m happy to be home. Work has been keeping me busy. I have a lot to make up to from last year and every year I get more and more clients. It can get exhausting, but work is work and I shouldn’t complain.

The Yule Ball was fine-‘

It wasn’t. The Yule Ball was a complete catastrophe. Not just for Nel but for almost every student that attended.

‘-I went stag. Found a dress from the ‘Come and Go Room.’ Did you know Hogwarts has a secret room? My friends are-‘

She looked up from her scribbling to see Daphne and Theodore playing and holding with each other’s hands in the middle of the Slytherin table. Both of them completely lost in each other’s eyes. Some Durmstrang students glared at them with revulsion at the romantic public display of attention. Nel almost threw up. To think she wanted that to be her and Ellar Lestrange only a couple of weeks ago. Leanne who was sitting next to Tracey in the Slytherin table was showing her the latest photographs she had captured of the Whomping Willow shaking off some snow. Both were also completely absorbed with each other leaving Nel to constantly feel lonely or like a fifth wheel.  

When they asked why she had returned to the dormitory with parts of her clothes soaking wet she lied and said it had been a prank by the Weasley twins. When asked who had been the one behind the anonymous flower arrangement, she, again, lied and said the person never showed.

“Was it Ellar?” Daphne had asked leaning over her bed, eyes wide in astonishment.

“No,” Nel said dully. “Why would he send me flowers?” She rolled her eyes dramatically. Another lie. None of them questioned it. Specially after the showdown that went on in the Yule Ball.

Of course, all of them were too engrossed with each other to noticed how she had begun to avoid the Black Lake. How she began to make excuses not to run around it in the mornings with Tracey and Viktor, how she starred at the green tinted windows in the Common Room it with unease, nails burying into skin leaving half-moon crescents in her palms, or how her breathing would become irregular when in the presence of a large body of water or even the mentioning of the lake.

She tried to compartmentalize. To push the memory to the back of her head. To ignore the painful memory of your lungs screaming and burning for air. The dark coldness of the underwater and the crazed look on that maniac’s face.

If you’re lying to your friends, you are doing something wrong. However, she felt like they wouldn’t understand. If they knew- if any of them knew it would only complicate things. If Snape, a Hogwarts professor, wasn’t able to do anything what help could her friends be? It didn���t seem like Ellar had a weakness. Even Professor Snape had said it himself, his reeking privileged had saved him from Azkaban once before. They might give him a piece of their minds but that would be about it.

In regards of her other friends- Harry was too impulsive, so were the Weasley’s- even talking about it- it would just be problematic. Even Nathair was absent since he was hibernating the cold winter somewhere inside the greenhouse.

Then again, these weren’t things they talked with each other. The less they knew about each other the better.

She wanted to talk to somebody who wouldn’t be biased to judge, someone who would just listen-

Her eyes left the letter she was writing and slowly wondered a couple of seats away to Draco who was pointing at something in a magazine Zabini was showing him, no surprise probably roasting someone. He was a good listener; he was good at this kind of thing.

“Why is Saintday starring at me?” Blaise narcissistically asked Draco when he felt a pair of eyes on him. “Think she’ll ask me to Puddifoot’s?” He laughed in reference to the pink Tea Shop were students usually went on dinner dates at Hogsmeade. She turned away quickly when Malfoy turned in her direction. Her mind went to that same place it had the night after the Yule Ball. The grip around her pen became a little tighter when she felt her face burning from the embarrassment of the memory.

‘My friends are great.’

She dotted that statement harshly.

‘I haven’t been practicing my Patronus charm as much as I should be. Other than that, professor, I was wondering,’ She wanted to scratch off the word professor. It was a force of habit to call him that. ‘Have you ever heard of Ellar Lestrange? He used to be a student at Hogwarts.’ He’s also a real foul git.

‘Other than that – I hope you are well professor. Hopefully by the next time we meet my Patronus will be fully functional.

Take care, - Nel’

Looking over her shoulder she fed a piece of sausage to her owl which had been loyally perched on her shoulder all this time and handed it two sealed letters. One for Lupin and another for Cedric who was just a couple of tables away.

‘Meet me outside in 5.’ The note read.

Cedric read it and their eyes met from across the Great Hall. Looking up he nodded with a lazy smile and made his way outside.

“Where are you going?” Tracey asked when she saw her friend rise without saying a word.

“Common Room,” She half lied. “See ya,” She said curtly.

“Nel you’ve been acting very wei-“ Tracey didn’t get to finish her sentence, her friend leaving her hanging. “Weird,” She dead panned and turned to give Leanne an irritated look. “I think she’s just upset about the Yule Ball,” the Hufflepuff suggested.

“I mean something did happen with Lestrange, right? People say she went mad and struck him, then he sent her flowers- you’d think she’d be elated. Didn’t you say she fancied him?” Moon added to the group of Slytherins. Daphne pinched the bridge of her nose irritated at the missing puzzle piece.

She was missing something, but what was it?

“Ced,” Outside of the Great Hall, Nel greeted the older Hufflepuff as they walked down the corridor in no particular direction. “Ever heard of the ‘Come and Go Room?’” She asked with particular interest.

Cedric looked a little confused by her question. “You mean the Room of Requirement?” He arched an eyebrow.

“The Room of what?” Her expression mimicked his.

“Come, I’ll show you,” He said turning in the direction of the moving staircases and leading her up. “Is this what you wanted to talk about?” He asked as they headed up the stairs to the seventh floor.

No. She wanted to tell him about what she knew about the lake. She wanted to tell him- someone about what had happened with Ellar Lestrange that night. About how his mother would most definitely kill her in cold blood for wounding the pride and joy that was her only son. She didn’t want to think of Cloelia rigidly sitting at home with her palms flat on the dining table as she plotted her vengeance against her. “I want to see you go mad,” the Beuxbaton student’s cruel words still haunted her. The thought of the dark water-

“No,” She said quicker than she intended. Wanting to shut out the memory of the dark water. “It’s about the Second Task of the Tournament. I am more than certain it’s at the lake. Are you prepared to go underwater?”

“Underwater?” Cedric’s thick eyebrows burrowed deep in thought. “Yes. Unless you can grow gills, I have a feeling you’re going to need some help in that department.”

“How do you know this?” He asked curiously.

She could’ve confessed. Told her about what Ellar had done to her and how Professor Snape knew. How Snape had been there and had done nothing about it, but it brought so much shame to her. It had been her fault in the first place, for being there, for trusting Ellar, for putting herself in that situation. Besides- what would Cedric do about it? Nothing. Ellar was beyond privileged, it would come to his word against her and in the end his, being a Lestrange, weighted more. It weighted enough to get him off the hook from Azkaban.

“Never mind that,” He shrugged. “Anyhow-“ Cedric said as they entered the Seventh Floor. “Here it is,” he finished with confident as they stopped in front of a large empty wall across from a tapestry of Barnabas the Barny trying to teach trolls to dance ballet.

She was silent for a moment looking for the entrance to the Room of Requirement. The door must be really small, she squinted her eyes to try and see.

“But there’s no door,” Nel observed.

“One thing about Hogwarts is, nothing really is what it seems,” Cedric reached for her arm and pulled her along as he walked away. She was more than perplexed by the missing room.

“The Room of Requirements only reveals itself to those who require it,” He explained as the two walked in front of tapestry three times. It was then that he stopped a massive door with intricate swirling carvings then revealed itself to the two of them. It even seemed to slightly shimmer. “Tricky, aint it?” He said with his hands on his waist.

“How-How’d you?” She looked at him wide eyed with a broad smile.

“Walk in front of the tapestry three times while focusing on an intent. If you do it correctly the room and whatever you desire should appear.”

She made a mental note of this. “How do you know about it?” She looked at him oddly.

A coy grin grew across his face and he ran a hand through his neat copper hair. “Well,” He chuckled. “Prefects use it as a snogging room,” he said cheekily. He laughed at her stunned expression. “Why? Are you thinking of having some company over?”

She slapped his arm and looked away hoping he wouldn’t notice her flustered reaction.

“Knock yourself out,” He once again laughed. “That reminds me-“ He waved his finger. She noted he was stepping away from her. “I have an idea. Meet me outside the prefect’s bathroom in half an hour.”

“What?” She turned back to look at him with that same confused look she had been wearing on her face all evening long so far.

Xxx

It would take hours- no days. To look through all of the vials, books, trunks, boxes and other magical trinkets that are all inside of the room. And who knew what Cedric meant when he said the room would shift into whatever its user required.

Elowen even lost track of her time and arrived outside the Prefect’s Bathroom later than expected. She waited outside but Cedric never showed. Maybe- she looked around the corridor shiftily hoping no other prefects or professors would be doing rounds tonight. Maybe he was already inside?

“Hello?” She croaked as she crept inside of the Prefect’s Bathroom. She was distracted looking up in awe at the animated mermaid stained glass windows and the massive organ like fountain that was pouring down a rainbow of water that descended into a bubbly lagoon that she didn’t even realize Cedric half underwater. Did people actually come and bathe in here?

“Took you long enough!” He laughed a little and swam towards the edge and reached for the golden egg he had received in the First Task.

Normally she would’ve had a clever retort at the tip of her tongue, but the sight of the dark water grounded her in place. He didn’t seem to notice her rattled reaction. Her eyes were frozen on the water. She knew it had a bottom. She knew Cedric wasn’t struggling. She knew she wouldn’t fall. She knew she wouldn’t drown, but the memories.

The vivid feeling of her lungs burning for air as salty lake water flooded her mouth and choked the air out of her suddenly came back to her.

“Well come on then,” he waved his hand over in his direction still wearing a cheery grin. She didn’t share his enthusiasm. “Welcome to the Prefect’s Bathroom. You’ll be able to use it next year. If you are chosen to become a prefect. I think you’d make a rather good one.”

The cold darkness that engulfed her beneath the lake still pricked at her with the sight of the dark water.

The fact Diggory was shirtless and in the water didn’t cross her mind, she didn’t snap out of her fearful trance until she heard a dreadfully familiar laugh.

“Is this the- handsome boy – you brewed that foul-smelling Love Potion for?”

Moaning Myrtle.

“Myrtle,” Nel dropped her name from her mouth with much nasal distaste. The ghost girl’s remarks cause her to snap out of her trance and drag her heavily grounded feet towards the pool.

“I would disagree,” She said woefully with a bit of an incredulous laugh answering his comment.

Nel? Prefect? Could you imagine the chaos and havoc? Students would be getting points for jinxing people on her shit list.

“You brewed a Love Potion Nel?” Cedric laughed; his eyebrows arched in surprise. “Maybe the snogging room will come in handy!”

“The only snog Snelly Nelly is getting is from a Welsh troll,” Myrtle cackled and Nel wished she could toss something in her direction. Both ignored her.

“I am not getting in the water Cedric,” She warned kneeling on the edge.

“Are you sure?” He rested his elbows on the edge. “Waters nice,” He said splashing some warm water in her direction. She stiffened up petrified. Again, he chuckled slightly interpreting her response as a girlish nervousness.

“I was thinking-“ He pondered for a moment. “Since the task is underwater, what do you think would happen if I sink the egg underwater?”

Xxx

“You have to come!” A week later Tracey was pulling on Nel’s hand as she insisted her friend came to attend the Second Task of the Triwizard tournament which would take place in the Black Lake.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do,” She lied shiftily nervously playing with her book bag’s strap. Never in this lifetime would she admit she was afraid and less to a room full of Slytherins. “Oh, come on,” Tracey insisted still pulling on her friend’s hand. “It’ll be fun! Leanne even got butterscotch popcorn for us!”

“Thanks Trace, but I’ll pass really,” Nel averted her eyes and kept them glued to the floor. She withdrew her hand from her friend’s coldly.

Tracey looked at her with a concerned expression. “You’ve been acting really odd lately,” She said with a hand on her waist.

“Odd?” Nel kept busy by tossing meaningless items inside of her bookbag. “Odd how?” She dodged the subject tossing in more parchments, ink, an extra quill and a pillow. Wait- she didn’t need a pillow. She put the item back in her bed and took in a deep breath her eyes moving from one end of the Slytherin dormitory to the other eventually focusing on Mildred’s cat.

“Nel,” Tracey said softly as she took a seat on the edge of her friend’s bed.

“You can talk to me – to us – your friends. About anything, really-“ She said tenderly her worried eyes still lingering on her roommate.

“There is nothing going on!” She snapped in return. She didn’t even realize she had raised her voice. “Nothing Trace! Stop being so damn bloody nosey!” She shut her book bag before standing up and storming out of the room. Tracey sat stunned at the volatile reaction.

Halting by the door, Nel rested a hand on the door frame. “Trace- I’m…” She turned with her head lowered. “I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t have snapped. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that,” She hesitated before walking back to the bed. “I’m sorry,” She pinched the bridge of her nose and Tracey suspected she was wiping away tears that dared prick at the inner corners of her eyes.

She sat in the bed next to her and Tracey took her hand in hers patting it sadly.

“Who do I have to kill?” Tracey laughed slightly which in turn made Nel break into a smile. “Was it Malfoy?” This time she spoke in full seriousness.  

Feeling drained Nel held her breath. “Draco?” She shook her head and put her head on her friend’s shoulder before sighing deeply. “No, not this time.”

“Draco?” Tracey was in turn more than surprised at her casual use of his name. “That’s new,” Tracey huffed slightly before nudging her shoulder up. She was about to further press on the topic when Pansy Parkinson walked into the dormitory. “Forgot my binoculars,” She tossed over her shoulder not paying the two Slytherins much attention.

“By the way my money’s on Potter,” She added with pomp before walking out.

“’On Potter?’” Nel repeated still with her head comfortably resting on Tracey’s shoulder. How odd for Pansy to be rooting for Harry in anything. “Interesting choice,” was all she commented.

“They’re not betting on winners,” Tracey said with an exhausting sight. “They’re betting on who’s drowning first.”

Like that Nel’s head jolted up as she sat extremely straight and looked at Tracey with a horrified expression. “What?” She gaped.

Tracey couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s reaction. “Calm down,” She said through small laughs as she attempted to comfort her friend. “Dumbledore and the Ministry of Magic will be there, there’s no reason why anything could go wrong.”

The thought of Harry or Cedric or Viktor or even Fleur de la Couer whom Nel had never exchanged a word with drowning made Nel want to retch. She pictured the horrifying image of pale body floating in the contrasting waters of the Black Lake. She paled at the thought and felt her stomach twist uneasily. There it was again that tight sensation in her throat.

“I’ll catch up,” She croaked after a moment. Tracey hugged her and promised they would save her a seat since Daphne and Theodore were probably already there waiting for them in the audience bleachers.

Xxx

The day was freezing. Air was cold as strong gusts of wind blew through the eager crowds which sat on the bleachers in a makeshift dock in the middle of the Black Lake. It was definitely not a good day to take a dip in the freezing waters.

The Ministry of Magic sat in the audience as a spectator, next to him sat Lucius Malfoy, on the same row was Albus Dumbledore, Ludo Bagman and Barty Crouch.

In the row below Tracey looked around the crowd anxiously. She sat in defeat when she came to the realization her friend was nowhere to be found.

Lowering her binoculars Nel blew a hair out from her face in great frustration as she watched from a far. There was no way she was going to walk across a bridge and sit in a dock for who knows how many hours waiting for anybody to come up from the water. She was safe and sound witnessing the events from the edge of the lake actually standing on solid British soil.

A gun had been fired and the contestant had been underwater for some time now.

Sighing she once again picked up the binoculars and this time observed as the champions got ready to take a leap. She knew that Cedric would use a Bubble-Head Charm one that he had endlessly been practicing in the Prefect’s Bathroom. She helped him practice, convincing herself that it would be ideal to know, especially when in such a close proximity to a large body of water. She was curious as to what the other champions would use.

“What are you doing here?” A voice that ran a chill down her spine struck her.

She said nothing and stammer a little imagining how ridiculous she probably looked standing alone on the edge of the Black Lake witnessing everything from a far.

“You’re scared of the lake. Aren’t you?”

Irritated she again lowered her binoculars yet didn’t turn around, her gaze remained fixed on the end of the dock where the Second Task of the Triwizard tournament was happening.

“So perceptive of you,” She said dryly.

“Why?” She could hear the pebbles on the edge of the muddy lake crunching under his feet as he approached her side. His voice, it sounded like he had genuine concern. Yet with Malfoy it was hard to know if he was being sincere or not. “Are you here to make fun of me?”

He stood there for a moment “I’m not,” like Tracey’s earlier his voice was soft, unthreatening, he sunk his hands in his black jacket’s pockets shielding them from the bitter winds.

Her lips were tightly drawn into a line. She still didn’t want to look at him. Wasn’t his father in the audience? Why was he here with her?

Unsure of what to say she was silent for a moment.  

“You were right,” She decided to break that silence. She hadn’t even realized she was biting her lip, nodding her head slightly with a distant look of disdain in her eyes. He looked at her with curiosity.

“Lestrange,” She thought of the perfect way to describe him. “He’s a monster.”

She didn’t notice how his expression hardened when he registered the apathetic look in her eyes. That son of a bitch. He wondered just what was going through her head. His eyes looked for any trace of injury on her exposed skin, but it was hard to see beneath the gloves, scarf, knitted cap and all winter gear.

“Seems to be quite fixed on you as of the late. Sending you flowers and all.”

“How?” She finally turned to face him. How was it that he always seemed to know?

“The Weasleys can barely afford to breathe, Potter is too daft to send something so elaborate. It has to be someone with a strong intent that can afford such an unimaginative gesture,” He looked at her with full seriousness. “Alright Sherlock,” She rolled her eyes wearing a half smile before once again focusing on the tournament through her binoculars which were strapped around her neck.

“What did you call me?” He asked sounding offended by the unknown word.  

“Muggle reference,” She added wearing that same coy smile. The moment was short lived. The smile wiped from her features as there seemed to be some action in the tournament.

“I think Krum is coming up-“ She described. “Is that? With Granger?” She squinted through the glass making sure she was seeing correctly. “You’re missing the task,” She said to Malfoy hoping he’d go away and return to his father’s eyes to witness the tournament. Instead he said nothing and took the binoculars from her and she was tugged to his side by the short strap that was around her neck. He didn’t apologize for standing so close to her, nor did he seem to care.

She could smell his strong cologne. Could see the beauty marks and freckles on his pale skin.

She didn’t mean for it to happen, but her heart picked up pace. This time there was no alcohol involved. She stood on her tip toes hoping to keep a distance between the two. Struggling to keep her balance standing over the slippery pebbles. Slipping she braced onto his arm to hold herself up. “Sorry,” She mumbled ducking her head.

“Fancy a swim Elowen?” A voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard interrupted. Ellar stood a couple of feet away from them about to cross the bridge which lead to the makeshift island were audiences were viewing the Tri-Wizard Tournament. He wore a smug smile as he hid his hands in his coat’s pockets.

Malfoy glared at the Beuxbaton student with hatred.

“Cowering behind Malfoy. How typical,” The other shot. Nel didn’t even realize she was hiding behind Malfoy, or maybe he had pushed her behind him. Did it really matter? Triggered she stepped forward and whipped her wand ready to hex him. Yet her hand was held back. Draco gave her a knowing look. He knew when to pick his fights. She didn’t.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Lestrange raised his hands up mockingly. “Might want to put a leash around her Malfoy. I heard she bites,” Ellar bit down on the edge of his lip with a wink before haughtily walking away with his head tossed back as he retreated. His loud laugher a faraway echo from the windy spot where Draco and Nel were standing.

Nel kept her head lowered not wanting to think about what had happened with Ellar. After all it had all been her fault.

“Nel,” She felt a rough hand on her shoulder turn her. “What did he do?”

Sullenly she simply shook her head in small movements. “What did he do to you?” He repeated his tone stronger, grip on her arm tighter. “Nothing,” She lied dismissively , like she had rehearsed a thousand times. “Tell me,” He ordered. “He forced himself on me,” word vomit. She hadn’t even realized she’d said it. “Kissed me,” She paused. “And then tried to drown me in the Black Lake,” She admitted not wanting to look at his judging eyes. She waited for him to blame her just like she blamed herself from the shame of it. “Son of a bitch.”

Draco wasn’t looking at her he instead marched in Ellar’s direction beginning to cross the wood bridge. Lifting his wand dishonorably hexing the teen with his back turned; Lestrange was propelled high into the sky and across nastily splashing into the lake’s water. His father, the audience and everybody else would’ve been way to distracted by one of the champions emerging from the water to even realize what he had done. “And coming up!” Ludo spoke as he continued to narrate the events of the tournament to the audience.

Nel watched with her mouth ajar again bringing the binoculars to her mouth as Ellar spat out some cold water and rise up in the tournament. “Is that a student? Somebody get that fanatic out of the winter waters!”

Students in the audience pointed and laughed.

Wearing a triumphant and very satisfied smile Draco flipped his wand in his hand before turning to face Nel. Lowering her binoculars, she rubbed her eyes and buried her face in the palms of her hands.

“Nel?” He called her name quickly approaching her. Again, she could hear the pebbles shifting under his steps. “Are you crying?” He asked sounding more blatantly surprised than concerned this time.

“No,” She removed her hands and wore a broad smile she attempted to hide behind her knuckles.

Satisfied Draco looked back at the audience from a far. He let out a laugh when he saw the way Lestrange was pitifully fished out of the freezing cold water by a Beuxbaton Professor. People laughed at him as they did.

“What a tosser,”  Draco grumbled with great distaste. Still hiding her shy smile, the girl admired his face profile from the side. He completely missed the large doe eyes she was looking at him with. “Worse than mudbloods I tell you.” And… Just like that it was gone.

[3starsquinn]

Let’s Get Down to Business || Alain & Orion

Timing: Current

Parties: Alain ( @carbrakes-and-stakes ) & Rio

Content Warning: Abuse mentions

Summary: Rio is desperate for some answers and Alain is willing to provide. Until they get interrupted. Rude.

Orion didn’t know what he was about to walk into. When he messaged Alain, it had been in a more emotionally fragile state than he had cared to admit. There had been so much going on this week. Between the love potion and his run in with Athena. But even with all of that drama, he still couldn’t get that troll out of his head. Couldn’t stop thinking about how Rio had stopped that troll from ever doing anything again. He had taken that life. Justified or not, Rio couldn’t shake the guilt. And he needed to talk to someone that understood what that felt like. 

When Orion found Alain, he was thankful that the man was alone and not currently tousling with a vampire. He offered a small wave as soon as the two spotted each other and continued his sulk across the abandoned pilot to close the gap between them. “Hey” he added once he had finally joined up with him. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.” That was true. In his rush of emotions, maybe Rio had an idea what he wanted to say in the back of his mind as he was furiously typing the message out to him. But standing here with Alain face to face, any semblance of a clear thought Rio once had all but washed from his mind. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

Alain was dusting his sword clean when he heard Orion approach. Lost in his thoughts, he had not been paying much attention to his surroundings, figuring that if undead rose, he would feel them before he could see them anyway. He was not sure what it was Orion wanted, but if he had agreed to meet him here, in the middle of the night, it had to be important. Sitting on the front steps of a now clean mausoleum, the hunter watched Orion approach and waved back. “Hey,” he replied, scooting to the side so that the kid could sit down too, if he wanted.

The kid looked completely lost, however, and Alain, since he had no idea what this meeting was about, found himself with both his eyebrows raised, puzzled. “That’s okay,” Orion spoke again and he could feel his heart sink in his chest. How was he supposed to help someone who felt lost when he himself had no idea where he was headed either? “Sit down. Tell me what happened, I’m sure you’ll remember why you’re here.”

Orion followed Alain’s instructions, taking a seat next to him. He sat quietly for a long moment, still trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say or how he wanted to say it. Why was this so hard? If there was anybody that should know how Rio felt it was a hunter that showed some sense of apprehension for the job too. Rio couldn’t think of Alain without thinking of the first conversation they had ever had in his garage. Maybe Alain was still doing the job, maybe he even thought it was necessary. But there was something about him that made Rio think that he sometimes wondered what could have been. “I don’t know how you do it.” Because of course Rio knew why he was here. He just didn’t know why he had to do this right now, “I got attacked in the woods a few weeks ago. There were these trolls and they tried to kill Kaden and I. And it was going to kill me and I-” He pulled his knees up on the step with him and hugged them, “I killed it. And I can’t stop thinking about it. How do you train yourself to take a life?”

Alain remained quiet the whole time Orion was speaking. He put down the sword, the rag, and crossing his arms, he leaned back against the step behind to listen to the boy. “Kaden must have already told you that it was either you or him,” it felt like this was the kind of justification most hunters gave to justify many things, him included, but it was a justification that truly made sense when speaking of creatures that  behaved like wild animals. “A normal person wouldn’t have made it out alive, maybe you saved a bunch of people,” and maybe a bunch of others died before Orion took care of that beast. He could have said this too, but he felt like it would not really cheer him up. 

Then came the question of How. “You and I were both trained since we were in what.. 1st grade? Earlier?” But this was not what made you a killer. You were trained, sure, but a killer. Accidents aside, killers had a purpose, something to fulfil, and in hunters’ case, it was an idea : the sense of duty. “You don’t train, you are told to, and usually, it begins by killing things that look nothing like people,” in his case, it had been spawns. The human looking vampires came later, once spawns had become a habit, some sort of routine. “Most people assume that I like doing this,” it was not entirely false, otherwise, Alain wouldn’t be here, but it was his sense of duty that always brought him back here, not his hatred for vampires. 

Orion nodded. “He did.” And he had, along with anyone else that heard about what happened. It was an easy defense, one that should have helped Rio feel better. Logically, he knew it was true. It had been self defense. The troll fully intended on killing Rio and then Kaden if nothing had been done. The troll had said it themselves. But Rio still couldn’t help but think that the reasoning left a sour taste in his mouth. Like something had been missing. “It’s just- I replay it over and over again in my head. I could have done something differently, right? Why were they violent to us in the first place? Did they know what we were?” Did they deserve it? Rio almost asked the question but decided against it, “What if I could have said something differently. Or anything. Why did it have to end that way?” He wiped at his eyes. He had done so much crying recently he was surprised he had any tears left. But it was just as embarrassing now as it always was. He wished he could switch it all off. Although, Rio hadn’t considered Alain’s second point. If the trolls were so quick to kill Kaden and Rio, would other people fall victim to them just as quickly? Ones that wouldn’t survive being thrown against a tree or crushed under the grip of a rocky giant? “I don’t know. Maybe. That’s why I hate this. I can’t even see the full picture. How am I supposed to decide something as important as taking a life when I can’t even see every angle?” Orion was a patient person. He never liked acting before thinking through every scenario his mind would allow him. It was why Athena would complain whenever the two played chess. He always took too long to move, examining all of his options before finally pushing a piece forward. 

“Yeah. I mean, Not sure if mine could be considered training or not.” Orion had been rebelling in his own way since childhood. Maybe he wasn’t as loud or as confrontational as Athena could be, but he had learned his own tricks to annoy his parents. And he could do it without ever raising a fist or even speaking. Alain was right. From a young age, the two were first introduced to the more monstrous side. Fed stories that would have made any normal kid cower beneath their sheets. It wasn’t until the two got older that they slowly started to get introduced to the more human side of their victims. “I don’t think you like doing this.” Rio offered. He wished he knew for sure. But as it was, he didn’t know much about Alain’s hunting habits at all. Besides that he was resigned to the same sense of duty that most hunters seemed to be. “I think you do it when you feel like you have to. But that doesn’t mean you get any joy from it.” Maybe Rio was wrong. Off base. He hoped that he wasn’t. “My sister killed a Fae right in front of me the other day,” Rio began. “I don’t know what it was. To me, it just looked like a cat. I think she did it to get under my skin. How could someone do something like that? She likes it. It scares me.” 

“I don’t know Orion,” Alain turned his head to look at him. With a heavy breath, he reached out to put his hand on the boy’s opposite shoulder, so that he would look at him, and also know at the same time that it was okay if he wanted to cry. “No one can see the full picture,” he assured him. God knew that Alain had tried, but no matter how much planning any hunter did, nothing usually went exactly as planned. Feral beasts were too unpredictable. Usually the human looking ones were a lot easier, or at least that’s how it felt to him. “I try to think of the bigger picture instead,” he explained, always looking him in the eyes. “It’s like I said, you can’t know what would have happened if someone else had ran into that troll,” and he highly doubted that those made a difference between hunters and regular folks. “This is what I always think of, and it sometimes kept me up at night,” he frowned. “What if I didn’t get them all? What if one got away and attacked someone? Someone’s mom, a child, an elder?” This was why he did this at least one out of two nights. Sometimes, he could go back home having not seen one single vampire, and on nights like that one, get rid of an entire nest of them. 

“I must agree with you on that one, you’re the most lanky hunter I’ve ever seen,” laughing under his breath, Alain let go of his shoulder and took out his coffee thermos, pouring himself a cup. “I’m glad that you think that,” he smiled a moment before he took a long sip of the hot beverage. “Joy comes from knowing you got people rid of something that wouldn’t have hesitated to hurt them, feed on them, turn them, or kill them,” with vampires, you never knew. Some had their own little army of spawns, which they created by biting party goers or people walking back home after their night shift, and God did it feed his hatred for them. “What did she think she would achieve by that? I mean, it was most certainly not a cat, but clearly that thing did not attack first,” he cleared his throat. His lack of knowledge on fae was showing, but clearly, Athena had fucked up here. “I’m sorry. You know,” he paused, sighing. “You always will have a choice, but when it comes to things you cannot reason with, I’d say just do your job. It’s not easy. I know I wasn’t fond of it either then, but you get used to it. And that does not mean you’ll suddenly want to kill all the beasts you see.” Another sigh. “This is what I would do, if I were you. Not hunt, but rather get rid of threats when you happen to cross paths with one.”

No one can see the full picture. So how come anybody killed? Why did people take a life when they can’t see the full extent of how it will affect things? Orion winced when Alain’s hand grabbed onto his shoulder. Even living around friends that did the same thing, Rio still wasn't used to the nonviolent physical touch. Still cowered away from it. But knowing that this had not been meant as an attack, Rio settled into it, relaxing beneath it and eventually looking up at Alain. This time, when the tears streamed down his face he didn’t immediately wipe them away. “The bigger picture” Rio nodded to himself. He didn’t know if he believed it, but he at least understood the idea behind it. Kaden and Rio left the rest of the trolls. Sure, they had sworn their vengeance on the two of them. But were other people going to be in danger because of the actions of the two of them? The thought made him sick to his stomach. “I don’t want anything to get hurt because of me. Human or otherwise. I’m not cut out for this life, Alain. I never have been.”

Despite the serious tone the two had for the night, Orion appreciated the break for humor and he found himself chuckling through the tears and grinning. “Ha ha. Very funny.” Rio crossed his arms to feign pouting. As if being called small or lanky was something new that truly offended him. “That makes sense. I like helping people. All people.” Supernatural people included. At least Alain seemed just as taken aback by Athena’s actions as Rio had been. “I don’t know. I can’t tell if she’s just that brainwashed by my parents. Or if she genuinely wanted to hurt me. She’s mad at me. Angry that I left the house. I think she wanted me to feel her pain.” It was just a guess, but he was pretty positive he was close. “I like that idea. I just… I don’t know how to do it. I don’t want to feel like I’ve felt these past few weeks. I can’t stop thinking about that troll. I hate it.”

“I know, you have told me this before,” Alain wasn’t sure what to say to this except that few were cut for this, and that most hunters did this because they felt that  they had to. Was this going to help Rio with his moral dilemma? Probably not. This was all confusing. Alain wished he had the answers, but clearly, it was not the case. Although over the years, he did gain some wisdom and the decisions he made now weren’t the ones he made back when he was a teenager or a young adult. 

“Thank you,” with a smirk, he raised his cup of coffee as if to toast on this, and took another gulp. “I know, you are a good person, pure of heart. Those are rare,” and Alain genuinely believed that him not being a hunting hunter was actually a big loss for the rest of them. Hunters could use someone like Orion, who was willing to see what it’s like to be on the other end of the weapon. It was naive to think all creatures deserved his kindness however, and Alain really wanted Orion to finally accept that some things didn’t have many goals in life other than to sleep, eat humans, and sleep again. “I don’t know. I think you should speak to her, maybe not in person, but… see what she has to say about this. I doubt her explanations can excuse what she did, because that was cruel to you, but at least you’ll know why,” having cut all connection, all contact with both his sisters, Alain sometimes had regrets, he wondered if Orion would follow that path. Even though they were different, he could see some similarities here and there. “You know how to do it, you just don’t want to do it,” tossing the last drops of coffee in his cup, he screwed it back onto the thermos. “It’ll pass. This much I can actually promise you. And I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” he breathed through his nose, amused. “I’ll show you my notebooks, if you want. So you can see all the things I’ve seen,” maybe it would help him picture what hunting was really like when you did it for others. 

People told Orion that a lot. That he was a good person. That he was innocent. Rio didn’t feel pure of heart. He felt complicit to the evil things that his family did. He felt like a murderer. Most of the time, he felt like a fraud. Someone that was desperately trying to do good deeds to make up for the bad he had been a part of. “I know you’re right, but I really don’t want to” Rio groaned. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to her. But Alain was right, obviously. Even if it meant learning the truth and cutting the ties. He needed to know. Eventually. For now, he needed the space. Rio wasn’t sure he wanted to ever learn how to do it. Or get over these feelings of guilt. As soon as he did, would he turn into the exact monster that his parents had spent their lives trying to create? But regardless, Alain had the best intentions. He truly wanted what was best for Rio. That was something he couldn’t say about the adult figures in his life growing up. “Thank you. Seriously. I don’t know who else to talk to about this stuff. I-“ he perked up at the idea of reading Alain’s notebooks, “Really? Like really really? That’d be so cool. Let’s do it.”

Before Orion had the chance to move, a sound off in the trees beyond the steps caught Rio’s attention. His body stiffened immediately, freezing in place as Rio tried to pick up on any other sounds with his hearing. When he heard another cracking sound off in the woods, Rio jumped into his feet. “Something’s in the woods.” He stared at the trees. It was dark, but Rio’s vision didn’t mind the darkness. He stood  until he saw a flash through the trees and he jumped back, almost tripping into Alain. It wasn’t until the first thing broke through the clearing of the woods that Rio could finally make out what it was. “It’s a spawn.” 

“..” Alain couldn’t exactly project his own regrets on Orion, and if the young man prefered not to speak to his sister, Alain was not going to argue with that. He had given him his advice and now, it was up to Orion to either follow it or not. The boy seemed a lot more excited by the idea to have a look at the older hunter’s notebooks. He heard that he thanked him, but his attention went toward something else. Something was nearby, he could feel it. His hand reached out to grab the sword on the ground. 

Orion had been just as quick to notice, and that did not go unnoticed. Even if the boy wanted to deny his hunter heritage, he would never be able to get rid of his instincts. “The woods, huh?” Obviously, he was hearing things Alain couldn’t, and Alain was glad he could count on his cat like vision to catch a glimpse of whatever was lurking in the woods. Damn fucking spawns. “It is a spawn, or well… spawns. They aren’t lonely creatures, unfortunately,” Orion had a few options. Either help Alain with those, or watch the hunter get rid of all these foul beasts. “Time to choose if you want to help or not. Look into my bag, you’ll find weapons,” he motioned toward the mausoleum, where he had left his things. 

If the number of spawns was not critical, help was never negligeable, and it felt like a good occasion for Orion to see that not all things deserved to live, and that sometimes, saving them was putting them to rest. 

Time to choose if you want to help or not. Orion had not wanted to have to make a choice that quickly. He eyed the bag that Alain had pointed towards. “Oh god, oh god, oh god” Rio scurried up the steps and towards the bag. The swords, daggers and stakes were all sharp to the touch, and dangerous in the hands of someone like Rio. He was a liability, more likely to end up stabbing himself than being any help against spawns. He chose the least dangerous weapon he could find, an average wooden stake, and hopped back down the steps, stopping just feet behind Alain. 

He was the vampire expert, so of course he had been right when he said that they traveled together. Orion should have picked up on it. That the noises out in the woods were created by multiple creatures, not just one. Now, a few jumped back and forth between the trees while others were already in the clearing and heading towards the two of them. Rio didn’t deal with vampires. Not that he dealt with much of anything, but vampires and the undead were his lousiest subjects. Rio studied them, maybe seven or eight total but it was hard to keep track from the way that bounced around, weaving between each other. Rio couldn’t move. His knees were shaking and threatening to give out completely. He was just going to slow Alain down. Risk him getting hurt trying to protect him. This was all a big mistake. “I don’t- Don’t get hurt protecting me, please.”

“It’s fine,” Alain did not need someone panicking in his back, and he would not wait for him to get his shit together either. The first spawn spotted by Orion reduced to dust, the hunter moved toward the second, keeping them from approaching the boy. “Orion, you have to trust that you can do it. I wouldn’t ask you this if I didn’t think you could do it,” technically, he had no idea if Orion could do it, but one thing was sure, if he told him that he couldn’t, Orion would never try and that would be a damn shame. Obviously, he would never be an excellent hunter, but if he could help keep humans safe at his own scale, it would be enough. 

“Look around, don’t let them get in your back,” Alain trusted that if Orion listened to simple advice like that, he would be okay tonight. And if he wasn’t completely repulsed by all of this, maybe the hunter could actually offer to train him, eventually. 

“Orion, I’m going to be fine either way,” Alain did not want to force him to do anything, but rather push him to make a decision. In the end, hesitating was what could get you killed, and maybe this would be what he would have to first teach Orion. 

A spawn lunging for the hunter’s throat, Alain held up his sword, shoving it through its body. Falling to the ground, he pushed the spawn off of him, but before he could get up, another one was coming for him. Fuck. 

Alain wasn’t forcing this on Orion. There was a choice to be made. One that Rio would have to make for himself. It was so radically different from anything that Rio had been used to growing up that he felt a bit dizzy from the freedom. His parents never acted like there was a choice. In the woods… well maybe Kaden and everyone else had been right. Maybe there really hadn’t been a choice that night. That no matter what he did or said, those trolls were going to attack the two of them and Rio’s only choices were to fight back or get killed. Tonight, Alain was giving him an out. That freedom was liberating, but also crippling. Because now Rio actually had to choose.

Orion was pretty sure that he wouldn’t be able to do it. He was convinced that he would just be a distraction, and when the moment came he would hesitate and not be able to make the kill. Even if these things were clearly not human. They didn’t have the thoughts or feelings that people did. They truly were just creatures led by bloodlust and instinct. Rio felt his grip on the stake loosen, his resolution wavering. A spawn lunged at Alain and the two tumbled on the ground. Rio twitched but didn’t move. Seconds later, a sword went through the creature and Alain shoved it off of him. Rio breathed with relief but his grip tightened when another one came up fast, running for Alain who hadn’t yet gotten back to his feet. “Alain!” this time, Rio ran without thinking. He headed straight for Alain, close enough that the spawn was ready to attack before Rio dived into him.

Orion and the creature rolled once hitting the ground, both fighting for the upper hand. Unsurprisingly, it was the spawn that ended up on top. It clawed at him, scratching and tearing at his hoodie and catching on his skin more than once. It’s fangs were bared and aiming for Rio, Rio using all of his strength to keep the thing away from him. Rio’s legs flailed out from under the creature, trying to get some footing to get the upper hand. He had been training with Adam. He should be able to do this. But he was losing the battle against this spawn. Finally, he pulled a leg free, lifting it around to wrap around the spawn and pull it to the side and off of him. He pressed down, using his leg to pin the spawn and fumbled for the stake he had dropped in the struggle. With all the chaos, Rio didn’t have time to think about that choice he was so enamored with earlier. He swung the stake around and plunged it into the creature, dust exploding from it almost immediately. And suddenly the struggle was gone. Rio sat there on the ground and breathed heavily. He dropped the stake and stared at the pile of dust. Though he didn’t have much time to dwell on what he had just done, considering another spawn tackled him from behind. 

Alain had just started to accept that Orion had taken his decision, that he would not come and help him, when the exact opposite happened. While he had a few things to say on the boy’s technique, now was probably not a good time. Besides, spawns were not the kind to wait politely for their turn to jump at hunters’ throats. It was hard to keep an eye on Orion and at the same time take care of them. Clearly, this short moment had been enough for the experimented hunter to have exactly what he had warned Orion about, happen to him. 

The claws dug deep in Alain’s shoulder, in his side, and he had to drop his weapon to grab the vampire with both his hands, and throw it to the ground. A stake to the heart later, the hunter was glancing once again at Orion. It seemed like the boy had taken his decision and had thoughts about it, but now was not exactly the time for hesitation. And so Alain saw the spawn rushing toward the young boy. Ineluctable. 

“Orion,” Alain warned, too late. Now getting rid of something that had the higher ground was a whole different kind of job, and with yet another spawn coming for him, Alain hoped Orion would have the will, the strength to get rid of it, in the meanwhile, the hunter would try to get rid of the few spawns left, as he wasn’t sure a 3rd spawn was something Orion could survive tonight.

Orion’s body was pressed against the ground, the spawn on top of him and it’s claws digging into his back. The pain was sharp, the panic even stronger since he couldn’t move. He wiggled against the creature’s weight but only managed to crawl out slightly before the claws dug in further. He cried out a bit at that one, the sudden increase in pain taking him by surprise. Rio could hear the creature’s snarls, saliva dripping from its mouth and down on the back of Rio’s head, dripping down his neck. He was close, probably about to bite. Purely on instinct, Rio threw his left elbow back, connecting with the creature’s face and causing it to screech in defiance. It perked up, it’s hold on Rio loosening just enough that Rio could shove himself out from under the creature to break free. The claws had not completely dislodged, and scraped across his back on the way out, tearing at his clothes and ripping at his skin. 

The first thing Orion did once he got back to his feet was find Alain. He was fighting off more Spawn, still going strong. He must have taken down so many already while Rio had barely managed to stab one. And now, Rio was left weaponless against the current spawn. He could see the stake, abandoned across the field. The spawn blocked Rio’s path. Reaching it would be next to impossible, especially with the damage the creature had already done to Rio. He had three options here, run for Alain and hope that he could save the day. Try to fake out the spawn and get to his stake. And with the creature stirring and looking particularly unhappy, Rio didn’t have much time left. He went with option three, darting off in the opposite direction towards the tree line of the woods. The spawn was fast, hot on Rio’s trail and swiping out towards him. The claw caught on Rio’s leg at one point, almost knocking Rio over. Instead, his palms caught against the grass and he pushed himself back into his run. He all but collided with the tree when he finally got to the woods. He dug his fingers into it, finding a weak spot and ripping off a section of the bark. It wasn’t much, but it was still wood. 

There was something utterly terrifying about not knowing how Orion was doing. All the slayer had to know what was happening, is sounds. He heard the boy cry, then the creature protest. There was no way of knowing what happened. The spawns rushing at him made it impossible for  him to check on the boy, and Alain was starting to regret putting him in this situation. Maybe he should have locked him up in the mausoleum instead.

Each cloud of dust felt like counting down to when he’d be able to check on Orion. 3, 2, 1 spawn left. Orion’s spawn. Alain was not the kind to panic, but he couldn’t put the feeling in his chest on anything other than this. And so, the few seconds during which he searched for the boy and the spawn stretched into eternity to him. “Fuck.”

Maybe it would have been better to let him handle the spawn on his own, but considering what he had heard just seconds ago, he was not going to take a chance, and so he rushed to the woods, catching up with the pair. “Oh putain,” grabbing the beast from the back, the slayer threw it to the ground. His stake found the heart and they were all gone. But their trouble? Alain was mostly fine, safe for a few scratches, but Orion? 

Carefully, because he’d seen how he had reacted to the hand on his shoulder earlier, the hunter approached the young man. “Let me have a look, please,” the claws had torn both fabric and flesh, exposing skin, scarred skin. How? Orion did not … fight. “How did you… When?” They looked quite old, and Alain was growing confused, and horrified. 

Orion hadn’t noticed that he had been shaking until Alain crept behind the creature and took it down, staking it and finally leaving the open field empty aside from the two hunters. Suddenly, Rio couldn’t hold onto the piece of tree bark any longer. It slipped through his trembling fingers, cracking into smaller pieces against the ground. Rio followed soon after, resting against the tree next to him and sliding down it until he was resting on his knees. The pain from his injuries were nothing more than a dull pain in the back of his brain. Everything felt numbed, a humming taking the forefront of Rio’s attention as he tried to process the fear. Those spawns had been terrifying. He had seen them in pictures, read about them on multiple occasions. He couldn’t imagine being attacked by one of those with no knowledge of the supernatural. The idea was nightmare inducing. Even with the experience Rio had grown up with, he still wasn’t sure he’d sleep much tonight.

Orion was vaguely aware that Alain had started to creep closer towards him, muttering a French curse word. Rio stopped himself from calling out the language, just as he had done with Kaden once before. Rio twitched as he got closer. Because he knew what was visible, what was coming. The injuries from today had been rough, but surface level. A quick cleanse and bandaging session and they would be healed in a few days. But Alain didn’t mean those injuries. The spawn’s claws had done more than tear at his skin. They had stripped away the only defense Rio had. Now, he had no choice but to sit here, completely exposed. “It’s nothing....” Rio tried, feeling his body slump even further in defeat. His body was still shaking, his voice joining in on the instability. “It’s from training and stuff. They’re all old anyways.”

Having knelt down to get on his level, Alain fell silent watching Orion. He tried to think, to think and think again, but he could not think of one thing to tell Orion that could have solved anything. Sitting on the dry leaves, the hunter was not sure whether to avoid or search for the other hunter’s eyes. He felt bad for making him help, for asking this of him when he knew so little about his past, his experiences. It was time for Alain to take a decision however, his turn. 

“I’m so sorry,” he spoke softly. 

His heart had sunk in his chest. It seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Maybe it would bury so deep that the hunter would finally stop feeling, who knew? Now did Alain want to stop feeling? Sure it would have been easier, but feelings were what made him human, not a monster. The answer was easily found. “Orion, you told me that you had found ways to skip training,” from the way he fought, you could tell that this had not been a lie. That thing about his injuries, however, felt like bullshit. “Now skip the bullshit. What happened.” 

If Orion wanted to hear terrible stories from long ago, Alain would be happy to provide, but right now, he was worried for the young hunter, and he was not going to let him get back to wherever his home was like that. “You know what, you can tell me this once you’re all patched up,” there was no need to talk about this in the middle of a cemetery. It wouldn’t be long before the wind would start to carry ashes their way. “You can get up, kid?” 

More people had learned about the scars than Orion had ever wanted. Some by accident, some on purpose. Orion hated seeing their initial reactions. The initial confusing followed by the horrified understanding. The pity. Rio had spent so much of his life in fear of people seeing them. “I couldn’t always skip the trainings” Rio shrugged. That was the core of the scars, wasn’t it? Battle wounds from the trainings his parents had forced him and his sister to endure. Punishments if he didn’t participate. In some ways, skipping the trainings proved to be more harmful than brawling with his twin in the first place.

Alain didn’t force the story out of him. At least not yet. His priority seemed to be the fresh wounds on Orion’s skin. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” Rio wasn’t, but physically he could move. On shaky legs, Rio used the tree to pull him back to his feet, and fell slightly behind Alain as the two walked. He fiddled with the torn sleeves of his hoodie absentmindedly, distracting himself from the pain in his calf and the pit in his stomach. “Do you have an extra shirt I could borrow?” Rio asked, acknowledging that both the hoodie and shirt he had on underneath would be too damaged and blood stained to salvage. At this point, Rio supposed that it didn’t matter if Alain only had a short sleeve to offer. He had already seen the scars. Was there anything left to hide? 

“You got all of those only from training?” Alain had trained as a child, but he did not recall having this many scars then. Even after years and years of hunting, he probably did not have as many. The thought made his blood curdle. His parents might have been the way they were, as far as possible from loving, or caring, they at least understood that you did not learn anything through pain and suffering. Obviously, they would have been happy if Alain had ever decided to drop out of hunting, but the hunter’s desire to fit in had always been strong, and to this day, he had yet to find people who made him feel like he belonged. Nic and Kaden did that, in a way, Evelyn did too, in another, and in yet another way, Orion made him feel less lonely, even though their struggle was different. And so, the tone he had used could  only tell one thing : he did not believe that training could do that. Not the kind of training he had, at least. 

“I’ll give you mine,” it would probably be a lot too large for the boy, but that did not matter much right now. The hunter in his undershirt, handed the plaid shirt to Orion and went to gather his things, kicking at a pile of ash on his way to the mausoleum. Fucking pest. “I’ll get you home, okay? Give you that reading I promised you earlier, and if you want to talk about this, we can talk about this. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. Just know that I can help.”

Orion shrugged at Alain’s question. How else was he supposed to answer that? They both knew the answer. At least, Rio was fairly certain that Alain knew what the both of them were avoiding saying. He grabbed the shirt that Alain shrugged off and handed to him. “Thank you.” Rio held onto the flannel for dear life, using it as an anchor to keep himself from going into full panic mode. “I’ll uh- I don’t want to get blood all over it. So maybe I should like, wait until I can get the wounds washed off.” He didn’t want to ruin Alain’s flannel. From what Rio could tell, he seemed to really like his flannels.

“Seriously? I can still read your books?” Even with the pain Orion was in and the panic he felt, Rio couldn’t help but perk up at the thought of getting a look at Alain’s notes. Vampires weren’t exactly Rio’s specialty, and what he did know about them he wasn’t sure applied to all different types. Learning about the differences would help him decide. “I- Thanks for helping me. I don’t mind talking about it.”

Alain looked over at Orion and shook his head. “I am very well versed in getting blood from clothes. That should be part of hunter training,” he remarked, smiling at the kid a little.  There was no need to be grim and sad the whole way back to his place. “Now you put that shirt on and you stop being silly. I’m not afraid to use elbow grease to get stains out,” he explained.

Orion’s reaction to being offered books to read drew a laugh out of the hunter. “That was both incredibly endearing and scary,” Alain admitted. That kid was really committed to gathering knowledge, much like Alain was with fulfilling his duty. “Alright, then why don’t you tell me what you want to tell me.”

[redvoid-40]

In the woods there grew a tree - part 3

So, now we have a part three for this thing...

Did I finally figure out what I’m doing? Not in the slightest! But writing this little family-drama with mom Angor Rot sparks lots of joy in me, and I hope it does the same for someone else out there. :)

As always, hope you enjoy and let me know what you think of it! :D

Previous chapter / Next chapter

Angor Rot was whistling a little song for himself as he carved a large totem by himself. He had been working on this particular golem for almost a whole moon now; it was an ambitious project that took much of him - literally. He even took to wearing a leather vest while he healed from the large chunk of living stone he had to tear off his chest to build this totem. While little Charo had grown used to his missing pieces, an area as big as the one he took this time was bound to worry her.

The little girl was out with Veena, a female River Troll who sometimes visited their village. Like all River Trolls, Veena was elusive, preferring the solitude of her soft waters to the busy village, but she came around every once in a while to check their market and play with Charo. Ever since she was a baby, Charo had won over the kind troll’s core - much like she had done his - and she always loved to go explore the riverbeds with her.

It took Angor some time to get used to it, but after eight years he grew to trust the River Troll to care for Charo as he would. It was good for the girl to learn how to swim and fish, and Veena was the best instructor there was. Also, it allowed Angor some much needed time for himself.

Which he was using to build Charo a Golem.

Wizards have familiars to help them and keep them safe. Magic as she is, why can’t Charo have one?

Angor couldn’t go around looking for a dragon or chimera for the little human, but he could do the next best thing. He could carve her one from his own living stone. A piece of him to keep watch over her when he was not around.

With a final slash of his knife, Angor was done. Smiling, he raised the large totem to his eye.

It was in the shape of a crow, as big as his head. Angor had carved the totem in great detail, imbuing as much of his magic as he could, be it in the form of runes he wrote all over it or in the warm piece of his core stone he had put inside it.

Satisfied with his work, Angor Rot made his way deeper into their cave. A while ago he had found a large deposit of corundum stone in their home. It was a good, hard stone.

It would make perfect flesh for Charo’s familiar.

---

The moon was still high in the sky when Veena brought Charo back to Angor Rot’s village. The little girl had a head of soaked hair and a big smile on her face as she ran inside the cave, clumsily carrying a fish that was almost as tall as she was. She had fished a large carp tonight, and she was eager to show it to Angor and ask him to cook it for her.

More slowly because of her enormous size, Veena followed the girl inside. The Troll Village was mostly safe for Charo, but, like Angor, the River Troll still didn’t like to leave Charo anywhere but under her guardian’s care. As Venna reached the edge of the village Charo was already halfway across it, the large fish’s tail leaving wet markings on stone as it dragged over the ground.

“Dad!” Charo called out, even though Angor Rot was nowhere in sight. “Look what Veena and I caught! Dad!”

Excusing herself with little grunts, Veena tried to carve a way for her among the trolls around, watching Charo’s shape grow smaller the further she got from her. It was a good thing she was a River Troll; her height allowed her the advantage to watch over the little girl at all times.

And from that advantage point she saw, clear as day, a troll stuck his foot out in front of the little girl. Fast as she was, and with the large fish impairing her sight, Charo tripped over it at full-speed. Veena let out a disgruntled noise as the little girl let out a startled scream and took flight. The troll tried to charge forward, but she was much too large and Charo was much too far for her to reach her before she hit the ground.

However, out of one of the cavern’s many tunnels something flew by. Speedy and sleek as a shadow, it darted towards the girl, grabbing the back of her sweaty shirt and hauling her up in the air.

It was a sort of... crow. But made of stone. The creature cawed once, bright blue eyes looking down at the little girl in its talons as it gently lowered her to the ground.

Wide-eyed, Veena moved faster, and when she reached the little girl, she was staring at the creature with wonder in her big eyes. Hugging the fish to her chest with just one arm, she reached a hand towards the creature. The crow perched itself on her arm, butting its small, stone head against her softly. Its eyes seemed to glow even brighter at the touch.

Charo let out a delighted giggle, turning bright eyes to Veena. “Veena, look! I made a new friend!”

The River Troll made a disgruntled noise and pulled Charo in her arms, away from the creature. The stone crow didn’t seem to appreciate it, flying in front of her face to caw accusingly at her. Veena made to swat the thing away, but her arm was held in place by none other than Angor Rot.

“It’s alright, Veena.” The troll leader said as the craw settled on his shoulder. “This is my creation.”

Slowly, Veena relaxed her arms, allowing Charo to poke her head out of the protective hold.

“It’s okay, Veena!” She spoke happily. “It’s my friend! I can feel it!”

Angor Rot chuckled, and with a nod from him, Veena lowered the little girl to the ground. By now, the entire village circled them, observing the scene.

As soon as Charo’s little feet touched the ground, the crow was back on her, this time perched atop her head. It chirped once, satisfied with its spot, and the little girl giggled once again, eyes crossing as she tried to look up at it.

“His name is Corvell.” Angor Rot spoke, yellow eyes scanning all the trolls around them. His next words were loud and clear; not meant only for Charo. “I’ve carved him from my own living stone and core for you. From now on, Corvell will be your familiar. To watch over you when I’m not around.”

“That’s so cool! Nice to meet you, Corvell.” Charo spoke. Then, remembering the large fish in her eyes, she turned back to Angor Rot. “Look what we caught, dad! It’s a carp, a big one! Can we cook it tonight?”

Angor nodded, taking the fish from Charo’s struggling arms. Then his eyes moved to Veena and he smiled gratefully. “Thank you for taking care of Charo, my friend. Will you stay a little longer with us?”

Veena looked from the leader’s calm eyes to Charo’s hopeful ones and shook her head. Crowds were not for the River Troll, no matter how small they were. She much preferred the peace of her rivers and lakes.

Charo pouted, walking to hug one of her legs. “When will I see you again, Veena?”

Veena made a circle full in the air with her index finger, and Charo smiled. “Alright, next full moon. Thank you for playing with me today.”

The River Troll nodded once before walking away from them. Charo never stopped waving as she watched her leave, and even Corvell cawed twice in goodbye.

Angor laid a large head atop her head, disturbing the stone crow from its rightful place. Despite being literally made from his living stone, Corvell still cawed unhappily at the troll for his affront. It seemed one touch of Charo’s magic and the little golem was already molding its own personality.

“Now you’ll go bathe, little one. You smell like fish.”

“Yes, dad.”

---

The trolls who distrusted Charo still found ways to try and pick on her. The mean eyes, the hurtful words and the occasional shoves still continued but, while the little girl didn’t fight back, Corvell did. And the golem - familiar Charo would tell herself, giddy with happiness - had eyes as sharp as his creator’s. He’d fly on the face of any troll that said a bad word to Charo and caw loudly at them until they left. Anyone raising a hand to “accidentally” stumble against the girl and he’d be there first, pulling her back by the shirt and out of harm’s way before pecking the offender’s hand away.

The little girl didn’t like her familiar’s combative nature, more often than not pulling it away from the offending troll as she exclaimed apologies over her shoulders to them. Charo couldn’t blame them for disliking her. She was human after all, and more than once humans drove them away from their homes with their unquenchable thirst for power and land. She was young and didn’t understand much, but she understood that humans were cruel and selfish.

Humans had abandoned her, leaving her to die in the woods as a baby.

“Not that it matters anymore, right Corvell?” Charo spoke. Corvell and she were at the cavern’s entrance, playing stones as they waited for Angor Rot to finish his assembly with the other trolls so they could go set wards around the forest. “I love it here. I have dad and you, and Veena. Most trolls here are so nice too, especially when I give them my old socks to eat. Even the gnomes play with me sometimes. I’m better here than I could ever be at a human village.”

Corvell chirped his agreement as he flew in circles above Charo. The little girl smiled, using her magic to make hoops of stone in the air for her familiar to fly through. It was a little game that improved Corvell’s agility and Charo’s skill with magic.

“Charo? Are you ready, little one?”

The little girl lost her focus, and the hoops fell into pieces in front of her. Sighing at her lack of control she turned around to see Angor emerge from the cavern’s entrance with an oil-lamp in his hand. Hopefully she’d do better with setting wards.

“Yes, dad,” She said as Corvell lowered itself to fly closer to ground-level. “Corvell and I are ready.

Angor smiled and stretched his free hand for the girl to take it.

Hand in hand, they walked into the dark woods.

[punkpoemprose]

December 3rd-A Union

Universe: Canon (Post Frozen 2)

Rating: G (General, this is very fluffy!)

Length: 3851 Words

A/N: Can you say “troll wedding redux”? You knew I had to do it, right? We couldn’t get all this new beautiful gorgeous content without me taking another crack at a wedding fic. We’re truly living in the best time KA fans.

By the dark of night, a wagon slipped through the streets of Arendelle. In the front seat sat a couple holding hands and leaning together closely. The reindeer pulling them knew the way and needed no guidance, the silence of the night was undisturbed by the soft clomp of his hooves on the cobblestones and by the rolling of the wheels. No one stirred or thought twice of the pair as they left the city and road for the cliffs and up further into the forest that sat below Arendelle’s mountains. Save, of course for one man out late, who gave the pair a glance but little more.

“Are you sure that this is what you want?” the man asked gently placing his hand on the side of the woman’s face once they were far from the city. He had pulled a blanket tightly around her, keeping the summer night’s chill from settling into her bones.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything,” she answered as they continued into the night together.

***

The affair was anything but solemn. It was assuredly not like any wedding she had ever seen before she met him. She knew that some weddings were happy, but the aristocratic ones she had experienced as a child were deeply somber affairs with little rejoicing and more politics than celebration. Here, however, as she was being dressed in a cloak of moss and a crown of crystals over the simple white gown she’d had made for just this purpose, she found joy and merriment surrounding her on all sides.

“You look lovely your majesty,” a small rock troll called from somewhere close to her feet. A young one, whose name she had yet to be told.

“Thank you,” she said softly, “But please call me Anna, we’ll be family soon.”

“You’re already family,” Bulda replied, reaching up from her place stacked upon sisters and aunts and cousins and other female relatives to tuck Anna’s hair behind her ear with a practiced gentleness. For all the ways in which she differed from Iduna, species perhaps being the most obvious, Anna was glad to call the troll family, to call her a mother of sorts.

“You are,” a familiar voice called from behind.

As she turned Anna watched Elsa step into the clearing from the forest’s edge. She’d dispatched word of tonight’s plan to her just a few short days before, and she was happy to see that her sister was able to make it.

“Elsa!” a few of the younger trolls ran to her gleefully and were rewarded with a pat on the head before the woman set back off on her course to her sister’s side.

“The Northuldra send their unofficial congratulations and anxiously await sending an emissary for the royal wedding. I had to talk Ryder and Honeymaren into staying behind until next week. You should have seen Ryder’s face, he really wanted to know what a troll wedding looked like.”

Anna laughed at her sisters words and stretched out her arms to embrace her. It hadn’t been as if she hadn’t just seen her a few days before, but now that they were living apart, she always looked forward to seeing her sister.

Elsa, of course stepped up immediately and threw herself into the embrace. Anna couldn’t imagine anything better than having her sister there with her, surrounded by other key members of her found family.

“I’m so happy you could make it!” Anna said, kissing her sister’s cheek before releasing her from the hug. She knew of course that Elsa would always come when she called for her, as quickly as Gale’s wind could bring a letter and as fast as Nokk’s legs could carry them across the border, but seeing Elsa enter the valley was the final weight she needed to lift from her shoulders.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world Anna. I’m so happy for you both.”

Anna watched as Elsa scanned the space for Kristoff, he was of course, getting his own troll treatment on the other side of the valley, obscured by boulders from their current location. She flushed thinking about him, Kristoff had been so thrilled when Anna had been the one to suggest a troll wedding, and when she had decided that it needed to come before their royal wedding he’d kissed her with such zeal she would have fallen back without his arms readily catching her and pulling her tight to him.

She wanted to marry him in front of their families and no one else. It wasn’t an option for a Queen to have a private wedding, and she knew that it would bring too much joy to her people to have a small closed ceremony, and as such the idea of absconding to the woods with Kristoff by the cover of night to have their troll wedding was equal parts thrilling and deeply satisfying. She’d have a secret no one knew when they watched her court wedding, she and Kristoff and their family and close friends would be able to spend the day reveling in the fact that the pair was, in fact, already wed.

“May I?” Elsa asked her sister, looking down at the simple white gown she was wearing. Anna had selected it specifically for the fact that it was simple and unadorned, knowing for a fact that upon seeing her in it, Elsa would contribute her own magic to the evening.

She nodded enthusiastically, “I was hoping you’d ask.”

Grinning broadly, in a way that had been all too rare to see when she had been Queen, Elsa flicked a hand out towards her dress and Anna found with little shock, but plenty of glee, that her sister had covered her simple gown with small ice flowers.

She couldn’t help but smile in return when Elsa took in her work and looked up to her tearily, “You’re a beautiful bride Anna.”

Anna felt tears form in her own eyes and the adoring oohs and ahs of the trolls admiring the additional work Elsa had provided were not enough to drown out her sniffle.

“No! No crying on your wedding day!” Elsa said, sniffling in return, “If you cry I’m going to cry and Bulda…”

She trailed off and Anna knew it was because, of course, the female troll was, with her relatives, already wiping away tears.

“Too late,” Anna said sheepishly, letting a few tears fall from the corners of her eyes. Her chest was tight, but it was because her heart was full. She had imagined her wedding a hundred times as a child, she’d imagined the dashing Princesses she’d wed and how pretty they would all look in their finery. But now, standing in a gown covered in ice flowers, her shoulders draped with moss and crystals, and her sister in her white “goddess” gown, surrounded by loving family and friends, knowing that she was about to marry a man kinder, braver, and more loving than any Prince, she knew all of her imaginings were put to shame.

“I suppose,” Elsa said, opening her arms for another embrace which Anna walked into gladly, “a few happy tears couldn’t hurt.”

***

Kristoff smiled broadly as Cliff placed the crown of sticks on his head. It felt good to have this wedding to share with his family, and he couldn’t deny the perks of a wedding where he only needed to wear his shirt and trousers along with the traditional wear rather than a full fitted suit. The fact that this was all Anna’s idea made his heart swell. She’d wanted to marry him before their public wedding, she’d wanted to share a tradition with him.

He couldn’t help but to think back to how far they’d come from the first time they were in the valley together, preparing for the same ceremony under completely different circumstances. That Anna was on the other side of the valley from him, obscured from his view by boulders, getting ready to marry him was something he still could scarcely believe.

“Oh Kristoff my boy, you have no idea how long we’ve been waiting for this day.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, his adoptive father looking up at him from his place stacked on the shoulders of other family members. Nothing about this, he thought, was likely how Anna imagined her wedding day, but he had always known just how his family expected this to go for him, whether or not they ever believed he would find someone to love was a different story of course, but they all seemed so happy to watch it happen. That they loved Anna too was something that brought him immense pride and joy.

“I don’t know if I should say you clean up nice or…?”

Kristoff grinned and turned to the side, seeing a familiar woman break into the men’s space. He supposed she was welcome to do so, even if she was no longer the Queen, she still commanded immense power, and who was anyone to try to stop her? Not that anyone seemed to be making a move to do so. She was family as well, and welcome to engage in the rules or break them as she saw fit.

“Well the moss and sticks doesn’t exactly give the illusion of “clean” does it?” he asked in return as some of the youngest trolls reached up to her so that they would receive small touches and flakes of snow from Elsa. She was well loved in the valley. The magic in her spoke to the trolls just as it did to the forest’s elements and combining that with the fact that she was family meant that the youngest were entirely unable to keep themselves from seeking her attentions and affections.

That she gave them so willingly was another reason Kristoff loved and respected his soon to be sister-in-law. She was already, of course, family to him. She had been since he and Anna began their courtship.

“Well you look nice,” she said gesturing to his regalia, “Mind if I give you a little something extra?”

Kristoff shook his head and smiled, “Elsa, ice is my life. How could I say no?”

She snorted when she laughed, and Kristoff in return chuckled. She looked like she’d just been crying, and it was all he needed to know that she’d gone to see Anna first. The ceremony was to begin very soon, so he fully expected her to return to her sister in short order.

With a grin and a flick of her wrist Kristoff found that pinned to his shirt, just over his heart and only slightly obscured by his moss cape, was an ice flower.

“It’s perfect Elsa, thank you!”

She nodded pleasantly and he opened his arms to embrace her. They’d grown close over the years, their relationship becoming something that he could trust in. She was Anna’s sister, but in a lot of ways she was like the sibling he’d never had. They shared a sense of humor in a lot of things, and their love for Anna was only rivaled by the other’s. Despite how refined she always seemed to be and how rough he knew he was, they’d been able to create a meaningful bond.

She squeezed him tightly before they both let go of the other.

“I have to get back to Anna before things start, but I wanted to say that I’m so happy this is how you two chose to do this. It reminds me of the stories Anna used to invent when she was little about forests and princes and trolls.”

“We’re happy too!” Cliff replied, gesturing for Elsa to come close. She giggled as the old troll pressed a kiss to her cheek, “Welcome to the family officially Elsa.”

She reached a handout to the troll and one to Kristoff, squeezing them both as she said her thanks and returned to her sister.

“Ready?”

Kristoff nodded to the group of trolls around him, his family, and felt his heart race as they started rolling around him, indicating that it was in fact time for him to get moving.

He was about to marry the love of his life.

***

Anna’s heart raced when she saw Kristoff walking towards her. She wanted to break out into a run, to leap into his arms instead of calmly walking to meet him in the middle of the valley as she was meant too. She tried to keep her breathing even, to put one foot in front of the other in measured steps.

He was handsome, as he always was, but seeing him in the troll regalia, as she had nearly three years to the day before, made her tear up again. They’d done this once before, but this time it was really happening. She was going to marry Kristoff Bjorgman, her best friend, the man who loved her unconditionally and in the ways she’d always dreamed of being loved.

She only hoped that she would be the wife he deserved, she would do everything she could to be what he needed, though she suspected that she only needed to be herself in order to do so. She was still learning to love herself in a lot of ways, but seeing the way he did it so effortlessly over the past three years had helped her immensely. Kristoff loved her, and she loved him. His love was not fragile, and neither was hers. She would love him with all that she was because it was what he deserved.

He was looking at her like she hung the stars, or like he would reach out and catch them for her if only she asked. He often looked at her that way, but today it was special. She couldn’t help but appreciatively take him in in return. Seeing him comfortable in his skin, looking every bit like a prince of the forest, she couldn’t help but to think that maybe every fairytale she’d read as a child had prepared her for this day. He was her happily ever after, and he was quickly approaching her.

When they reached the center of the valley she saw Pabbie waiting for them standing on a raised stone dais above a hole in the ground which was partially covered with a moss and mushroom covered arch. Kristoff offered her his hand and as she took it she felt butterflies in her stomach.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered as he helped her gently, one hand on her back, into the hole and followed her in with ease.

She flushed and she could hardly take her eyes off his eyes to look at Pabbie as he started to address them and the accumulated crowd of trolls, humans, reindeer, and magical snowmen. She knew Kristoff meant it whenever he said anything to her, he wasn’t one to say anything he didn’t mean, but she could see adoration in his eyes, and in the tight space they’d lowered themselves into, his hand still holding hers closely, she could feel it too.

“Thank you,” she whispered back, “You’re handsome as ever.”

When she saw him blush, she nearly giggled. He always went red when she complimented him, and she thought she’d never tire of his reactions to her affections. After three years of being together she doubted that being married would affect the way they interacted at all, except of course, it might allow them to be a little more bold in public. That, she was certainly looking forward to.

“I’m so happy we’re doing this,” she whispered to which he nodded in return.

“Me too,” his voice was so low it was barely a whisper. Anna wondered if anyone noticed that they were in their own world, because try as she might to focus on what Pabbie was saying, all she could do was focus on Kristoff.

His fingers were running gently over her knuckles, a comforting gesture that told her that while he was just as ready to say “I do” as she was.

She heard Pabbie clearing his throat and when she looked up to him he was smiling at them expectantly. She couldn’t help but give a little giggle when Kristoff realized they’d been caught making eyes instead of listening. From the smiles she saw around them though, she knew no one was holding it against them.

“Your vows?”

Kristoff nodded quickly and then turning back to her and squeezing her hand softly, he began to speak.

“Anna, for years I thought that I wasn’t made for loving someone. I never really thought much about being with someone, or what it would mean, but the day I met you, everything changed. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, you have so much love in your heart and so much life in your smile and because you’ve chosen to share that with me, I want to live everyday with you doing my best to be the man that you deserve.”

“You already are,” she said subtly, perhaps low enough that he could only hear her. It interrupted him for just a moment, but she was rewarded for it with the softest smile she’d ever seen him give.

“I will live every day, every moment I can being there for you Anna. I will catch you when you fall, I’ll cheer you through every success and hold you through every difficult moment. I promise you that no matter what happens in our lives, I’ll be there at your side because I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone.”

She felt the tears coming from her eyes before she could think to hold them back. She knew for a fact that she was an ugly crier, but Kristoff didn’t seem to mind, holding her hand even tighter and reaching up his other hand to gently wipe her tears away. He wasn’t rushing her, he was giving her all the time she needed before giving her vows in return. She squeezed his hand back, taking his sign of patience and love for comfort before doing her best to compose herself.

“Kristoff, when I was little I always dreamed of romance and I probably read too many stories about true love, but when I found you I realized that maybe the reason those dreams and stories exist to begin with is because true love is real, and I know now that it is, because that’s what you’ve given me. You’ve loved me through pain, through hardship, through fear, and I can never repay you for the many times you’ve saved me by being there, but I promise you that I will try my hardest, every single day to give you the same love and trust and feeling of safety that you’ve given me.”

“There’s nothing to repay,” he whispered in return, his thumb running over her knuckles lovingly.

She melted, leaning in even closer to him as she continued. “I promise to love you through every bump in the road, through every season, and to take every challenge in stride with you at my side. I promise that I will never let us go to sleep angry, that I’ll always make time for you and for us no matter how hard it seems to manage. I will always love you Kristoff, because you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more.”

She heard Pabbie instruct them, heard the crying and the joyous murmuring of their assembled guests, but all she could focus on was that he was reaching into his pocket and drawing out a beautiful green crystal. It’s bottom was fractured, and she reached into the small pouch at her side, retrieving it’s mate and holding it’s fractured end out to him.

They were two halves of a whole, like the crystals they had been given for the ceremony. As he reached out, connecting them, she heard the trolls excitedly start to cheer, but even more so she heard Pabbie announce them husband and wife.

Kristoff, as always, didn’t seem to mind how quickly she closed the space between them. He always seemed to smile at her enthusiasm, and so when she kissed him, she could feel the soft upturn to his lips. His nose nudged gently against hers, and she felt his hand slide up the crystal until their fingers interlaced with the now magically whole and glowing gem closed inside their joined palms. She closed her eyes and pressed ever closer to him as his other hand slipped down her back.

***

Just before the first of dawn’s light a wagon rolled down the cobblestone streets of Arendelle. Everyone in town, either still asleep, or busying themselves with baking of the day’s bread and eating their breakfast, paid it little mind, save for a young girl peering out the window of her home.

“Mama! Papa!” she exclaimed as she watched the cart pass, “It’s the Queen! She’s with Mr. Bjorgman and their reindeer. They’ve come back from the woods!”

From the kitchen her mother sighed, “Now Leah my darling girl, again with the stories? You should be in bed still my little thing. What would the Queen possibly be doing riding into town at such an early hour.”

Leah smiled broadly, “They must’ve been out there kissing all night!”

She excitedly ran over to the small fainting couch in the corner of the room and collapsed on it dramatically, “They’re so in love!”

Her father chuckled, drinking his morning tea from his chair nearby, “That they are my dear, perhaps you’re right.”

His wife laughed in the kitchen, “Oh don’t encourage her Jakob, she’s already up in the clouds.”

He smiled setting down his teacup on the end table to walk over to where his daughter still lay sprawled out dramatically.

“We should all have our head in the clouds sometimes Birgit,” he called to his wife before stooping down to his daughter’s level to whisper in her ear, “Perhaps they were being married by the trolls? I read about such a thing in a storybook once when I was young like you my girl.”

Leah popped up from her reclined position excitedly, “Will you tell me about it Papa?”

“After breakfast!”

Jakob laughed and scooped his little girl into his arms. He certainly could not tell his wife that he had seen the couple head for the woods the night before. She’d never believe him either! She liked to think that their daughter got her romantic streak from him, but he thought that no one in Arendelle could possibly see the way in which Mr. Bjorgman, a humble ice harvester from the mountains, loved their Queen so purely and she him, without feeling at least a bit romantic themselves.

He kissed his daughter’s cheek and brought her with him to the kitchen to take their early breakfast. He only hoped that the royal couple, returning to the palace, would find as much joy in life as he had now found around his breakfast table.

[fericita-s]

Including Anna

A new story in the When All is Lost series that @the-spastic-fantastic and I are working on to tell the story of Iduna and Agnarr.  This one takes place as they are new parents, and leads up to the night of the accident and the visit to the trolls for healing.  Thank you @the-spastic-fantastic for the beta read and especially for the wonderful line about parental worry. Is it any wonder we feel a kinship to these characters?

***

“Agnarr! Quick, grab her! Before she goes to the fireplace again!” At Iduna’s words, Agnarr rushed into the room and scooped up his youngest daughter before she could push on the screen separating the fireplace from the girls’ bedroom.  The fire wasn’t lit, but the soot would be a mess and his formal Naval uniform was still being cleaned from the last time Anna had gotten into it and given him a hug.  Elsa might have magical ice powers, but Anna seemed to have magical mischief powers.

Agnarr picked up Anna and threw her up in the air, laughing with her as she gave a delighted shriek. "We have a whole staff! Maids! Cooks! Nannies! Can any of them keep you out of trouble, my dear?" He set Anna on the bed, tapped his nose against hers gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Iduna paused again in the story she was reading to Elsa and smiled at Agnarr. "Yes, but you're her father. And I don’t want a maid or a cook or a nanny to put our children to bed. Besides, the staff are all through for the day. Now the mischief management is up to us.”

Anna had been with her mother and Elsa until the draw of the fireplace had lured her out of bed. Now all four of them sat together, Agnarr wedging himself between Anna and the side of the bed, trying to keep her from any more bedtime adventures. Iduna continued the story about a mermaid and a prince, Elsa listening raptly, Anna getting sleepy. Agnarr smiled as she read, not paying attention to the story.  He was lost in a memory of when Iduna had surprised him by jumping down from a tree while he read the very same book. When they had both been lonely and without a family.  He looked at his daughters and his wife, and felt a rush of love at their presence. He didn’t want to be without them, without his family, ever again.

The story read, lullabies sung, prayers said, kisses given, denials for last glasses of water issued, Agnarr and Iduna closed the door behind them and walked down the hallway to their sitting room. Agnarr sat down with a heavy sigh and pulled Iduna down next to him on the couch. She turned and laid her head on the end of the couch and put her feet in his lap.  He slipped off her shoes and began to rub her feet, their own nightly ritual.  They were silent for a while, enjoying the quiet after the joyful chaos of putting the girls to bed. It was especially hard in the summer months when the sky stayed bright long past when they wanted to girls to be asleep.

As he massaged her soles, Agnarr mulled a thought that had been nagging at him with increasing persistency for some time. “Before we were married, you told me about a tea you could make to be sure any…premarital activities didn’t result in a baby.”

Iduna smiled, thinking of that conversation. “Yes, and I believe you told me you had to stay pure and kingly, duty over desire, something something.  Aren’t you glad we’re married now and you don’t have to worry about that anymore?”

“But I do worry.”

Iduna tilted her head with a quizzical look. “Worry?  About what?”

“About having more children.” His hands stilled, but kept holding her feet.

“Is this because Anna climbed out of the window last week? And used your scepter for a fairy wand? She’s two.  It will get easier.” Iduna rubbed her forehead.  Sometimes it was exhausting to even think about the antics of her youngest daughter.

Agnarr hugged her knees to his chest.   “It’s not about that. When you carried Elsa, I worried for you, cold all the time and shivering instead of sleeping. Anna’s birth was difficult.  And…Revna’s before that.” His voiced hitched on the name of their second born daughter.  Who was born but did not live.

Iduna swung her feet to the floor and sat up, her body facing him, her hands taking his. He felt her closeness and drew strength knowing that she was now with him and whole once more.  He cleared his throat and continued. “And it’s not just the magic – the ice, the heat. My mother died during my birth.  My father said she seemed strong and healthy right up until the end. But nothing helped her, not even my father begging the mountain men to comb for trolls and bring any healers to the castle.”

“Agnarr, I’m fine! I’ll be fine.” she brought a hand to his face, running her thumb over his mustache, cupping his cheek like he was one of the girls when they felt scared.

Gerda knocked on the door and entered with a tray of glogg and chocolate.

“Now I’m really fine! Thank you Gerda!” Iduna reached for the tray, broke off a piece of chocolate, and sighed as she ate.  

Agnarr picked up a mug of glogg and handed the other to Iduna. He tapped his against hers, saying “Skal,” good health, a toast as well as a wish.

***

It was a warm October day, and Iduna was harvesting the last of the lingonberries on the castle grounds. She was hoping to make a batch of vattlingon for Captain Calder who would distribute it to the departing vessels bound for long journeys.  It was the best remedy for preventing scurvy, and the sailors enjoyed the taste of home.

Elsa was helping, and had only squished a few berries while adding to the basket Iduna held. Anna had tried to eat one on off of the shrub, but made a face at the tart taste and spat it out in the dirt.  Now she was sitting in a particularly comfortable patch of dirt, trying to plant the half-eaten berry so a new shrub would grow. Mostly, she was stabbing the trowel into the soil and then placing the dirt over her legs while giggling.

Soon Elsa tired of helping and sat down next to Anna, trying to make a trowel out of ice. Anna stopped her digging to admire her sister’s attempts, clapping and laughing as Elsa’s efforts looked more and more like the trowel Anna held.

Iduna paused in her work to watch them, grateful that her daughters had each other, grateful that she had them.  And then, the prickling sensation of sadness came. Like a harvest, it kept cropping up, never lay fallow for long. Her grief for family lost never quite went away, just appeared anew in unexpected ways. Like watching Elsa clasp her hands together and recognizing her mother’s mannerism.  Seeing Anna’s laugh and thinking how it was an echo of Duvka’s. It was a joy and a sorrow. To see what was lost in what she had gained.

Maybe later she could pull Agnarr from his duties so the four of them could pick some more berries in the woods nearby.

As if by thinking about him summoned him, he appeared, walking out of the castle towards their spot in the garden.  He must have been able to see them from his meeting with Minister Wollen.

“Good afternoon!” he called, getting closer.

“How was your meeting? Did you convince Minister Wollen to take on teaching duties at the academy?”

Agnarr drew close and kissed her, his arm around her waist.

“Convincing her was easy. I can now talk Anna into taking naps, so anything pales in comparison to that.”

Hearing her name, Anna looked up. “Papa!” She pulled herself out of the dirt and ran over to give him a muddy hug.  He bent down to embrace her, and gave her a tight squeeze. She released him and went back to her patch of dirt.

“What are you doing, Elsa?”

She held up the ice trowel and Agnarr marveled over it, exclaiming, “What a wonderful likeness! Will it work?”

Elsa smiled and showed him how she could dig with it. “This is the fifth one.  The others weren’t so good.”

Agnarr leaned over to give her a kiss on the head. “It’s good you kept trying.  First tries are not usually perfect.  You have to keep working to get it right sometimes. That’s good for a future queen to know.” Elsa grinned at him and then went back to perfecting the trowel, trying to add the rosemaling design that was on the handle of Anna’s.

“I was planning to ask you if you could spare some time from your duties to go on a walk in the woods with us. I’m sure you could use the break.”

Agnarr laughed. “Governing is difficult work, but keeping up with these two is harder.  But a better job no one could find.” He kissed her again and said “Let’s go now. We have time before the Sundbergs join us for dinner. And my jacket is already muddy, so it’d be a shame to waste that.”

***

After dinner and dessert and a little bit of dancing, Iduna and Agnarr said goodnight to Henrik and his family. Elsa and Anna had been put to bed by the nanny a few hours earlier, and were hopefully asleep by now.  Walking upstairs, Iduna asked “Did you mean what you said earlier? That being king is easier than being a father?”

Agnarr nodded. “I do believe that to be true. But I know ‘king’ is the only title out of those two that I would willingly give up.”

Iduna linked her arm in his, voices quieting as they walked past the girls’ room. “As king, you can assign all of our best people to the task at hand.  Minister Wollen for any delicate matters of diplomacy.  Captain Calder for trade disputes.  With the girls, we can’t have someone else decide how much dinner is enough to warrant a chocolate course, or how well-behaved a two-year-old should be during a church service.”

Agnarr thought to himself that was exactly what a royal nanny usually did, but didn’t want to speak it aloud.  He hadn’t liked spending more time with a nanny than with his father as a child, and since Iduna had no experience in the lives of royalty prior to living in the castle, he saw no reason to tell her of the traditions that neither one of them would like.

“It’s a weighty responsibility, taking care of their wellbeing.  I suppose a king has the wellbeing of an entire kingdom to concern himself with, but it’s more about the structures and policies that allow the people to thrive. With Anna and Elsa there are so many things I want to get right, so many things I want to say and experiences I want them to have and to avoid. I’m glad we don’t have as many children as we have subjects.”

Iduna laughed. “What a thought!”

Agnarr opened the door to their room and put his hand on her back to guide her to the couch. They sat down and took their usual nighttime spots. Iduna’s head rested on the end of the couch, her feet in his lap.  Agnarr took off his formal coat and they sat that way in silence for a time, Agnarr thinking about his conversation with Henrik in the library as they waited for dinner to be served.

“Henrik told me you helped his wife with some preventative measures after their last.  That was a frightening birth, he said. Each of ours have been a terror for me, and hearing him tell of how she almost died, I – “

He stopped, unable to continue, unsure of what words to use to convey what he felt. He took a breath, and then his voice changed, like he was in a council meeting strategizing for the best way forward out of a crisis.  No emotion, just a plan that needed to be put into motion. “I don’t want any more children.  We have two healthy daughters and I am blessed.  I don’t want to risk losing you, Iduna.  I couldn’t.  I lived without a family for years before we were married and even then I had you as a friend. I need you.  Please – do what you have to do to keep it from happening again. If there’s something I should drink, I will. No more children.” The pleading in his eyes belied the king’s command of his statement.

Iduna’s hand dropped, but she kept it in her lap. “But a son – don’t you want a son to take over as king?”

“We don’t need a male heir. Elsa will make a fine queen. The English were fine with Queen Elizabeth and now Queen Victoria is doing well. Arendelle’s flag will always fly.  It doesn’t need to fly under the rule of a king. As you show me daily, queens are very capable. If it means your life or a son, I choose you.” He turned to look at her, smiling with a sadness behind it. “Did you want more children?”

Iduna looked alert now, the relaxed sleepiness in her posture gone. She paused before answering, her voice quiet. “I hadn’t thought about not having more. But I will give it thought.” They were silent, Agnarr tense and still.

He stood, an abrupt motion that unsteadied her position on the couch, and she felt unmoored, shifting back and forth.  “I’ll go down the hall and get Gerda to bring up some glogg. Perhaps the chocolate cake from dinner?” Iduna nodded and he left.

***

It was good to have a minute alone with her thoughts.  She so rarely had that luxury. Being a mother was more wonderful and more difficult than she had imagined, and though she had longed for it, she sometimes mourned the loss of freedom and loss of sleep.

Since becoming a mother, she had never felt completely calm.  There had always been worry, a constant companion as she thought about what was best for Elsa and Anna, what she could do to protect them, what she could do to prepare them for the life of a princess when it was still so foreign to her. Her capacity for joy seemed to have increased, as well as her capacity for fear.

And then Elsa’s powers – it hadn’t opened her forest homeland the way she thought it would, but it could at any moment.  At any moment, more people could find out about Elsa’s magic and their reactions might not be as delighted as Agnarr’s had been.  She hadn’t forgotten the Arendellians’ suspicion about the magic her people used in the forest. Suspicion and fear were unpredictable.  She worried daily, hourly, about what that meant for Elsa. It was with her when she woke, when she saw her daughter perform her enchanting miracles, when she tried to drift off at night with troubled thoughts.

Iduna thought about the fear in Agnarr’s tone as he made his request and realized that he wasn’t asking this for her sake or for the kingdom. She understood that he was asking her to do this for him, a request not from a King to a Queen, but a husband to a wife.  

She knew what it was to be fearful. She knew what it was to lose a loved one and never quite recover.

Agnarr entered the room with two mugs of glogg. “I couldn’t find anyone still awake to serve us the cake.”

Iduna reached for the cup and squeezed his hand as she took it, thanking him. As they settled back into the couch, she pressed her body against his, head on his shoulder, thigh against thigh. She wanted him to feel her closeness, to feel that she was alive and well.

“I like that I can see my mother in Elsa’s face, Duvka in Anna’s playfulness. Having a child is like a way to see, to remember, the family I’ve lost.  A way for them to live on.”

Iduna placed her mug on the floor and took one of his hands in two of hers and held it tightly.  “But I don’t need more children.” She sought his eyes and spoke, willing him to hear and believe what she was saying. “It would be nice to not end up like that poor Queen of the Southern Isles.  She just had her thirteenth son the year Elsa was born. Thirteen boys! It’s a given at least one of them won’t turn out right.”

Agnarr relaxed into the couch as she spoke, receiving the gift of her light-hearted acquiescence, his laugh one of relief and joy. “Probably several of them won’t turn out right.”

“Tell Midwife Jora the sad news that she is out of royal work indefinitely. And don’t keep doing that with your hand or else we will need her after all. I’ll need a few days to get the brew going.”

“I think I can figure out something for us to do in the meantime.” Agnarr leaned in to kiss her, his relief at her agreement making him feel giddy, and he felt he had secured a future of joy.

***

The winter was the best time to take the girls to Market Square. No one noticed in the chilly weather if Elsa’s touch made something turn to ice or grow cold. Anna in particular liked watching the busy activities of the market, the sailors unloading goods, the fishermen stacking their catch on mounds of ice, the Yuletide bunting being hung over doorways and windows. Now the yearly royal visit to Eir’s came before the bell was rung, to give out coats and mittens to the children so they were well dressed for the ceremony within the castle gates. Eir smiled watching Anna and Elsa at play in the snow with the children in her care, and if she noticed that Elsa was able to make more snowballs than anyone else, or more than seemed possible from the pile of snow she had been near, she didn’t say anything.

***

When the royal family stood in front of open doors and rang the Yule Bell, everyone noticed the pride in the king’s smile as he and Elsa held the rope, the queen holding Anna. Elsa’s bare hands clutched the rope and she pulled.  Agnarr, gripping it further up, pulled as well and the loud tolling startled Anna who laughed and reached for the rope herself.  Agnarr smiled to see it, and hoped she would always reach for what she wanted, and that it would always be within her grasp.

***

In August, Anna was three and she was a little easier than she had been at two.  She was now a constant companion to her sister, begging her to “do the magic” and utterly enthralled with the ice and snow Elsa conjured. Iduna and Agnarr liked to watch them at play, creating worlds and voicing stories that were so imaginative, they thought of inviting that Danish author to come listen and be inspired.

But bedtime had gotten harder, and Anna, now out of a crib and in a bed, would wake her sister up and beg her for a nighttime session of playing with the ice. And one night, it ended in disaster.

***

Iduna clutched Anna to her chest as she slumbered peacefully, so relieved that she would heal from her injury that she couldn’t speak. Magical wounds were not something she could cure, and though the trolls were no friends of hers, she was grateful for the healing. She was not grateful for the words of prophecy Pabbie spoke. The last time she heard his voice, he was telling her to leave her home.  Now, he was showing her a vision of a mob pulling and tearing at her eldest daughter, and she thought about the body in the woods, the murdered Northuldra man. The fear she felt as a fourteen-year-old was just as pressing, just as strangling as it had been then. She had no words, it felt like they had been pulled out of her by a frenzied mob. Agnarr’s rang out in the clearing, echoing loudly among the trolls and the rocks. “No, we’ll protect her.  She can learn to control it I’m sure. ‘Til then we’ll lock the gates. Reduce the staff.  We will limit her contact with people.  We’ll keep her powers hidden from everyone.  Including Anna.”

Iduna looked down at Anna and thought that this was a death after all. A death of a kind. Certainly an ending, and one from which she did not know how to begin again.

[rmg91]

Meant To Be (In Any Form)-1

Main Summary: Branch and Poppy are meant to be in any way, from canon to AU. Join them in these stories. Oneshot Collection.

Chapter Summary:  Branch has decided it's time to ask Poppy a very special question.

Heya everyone! Here's the fluffy start of a new oneshot collection! Lots of AUs, canon, canon divergence and more is coming your way here! Since I have no real motivation (at this time) to start another full on multi-chapter fic but lots of ideas I'll be focusing on oneshots and usually dumping them here, will be updated when something's done XD I'll usually say something before hand as not all these will be related to one another (But some will!) Anyway...without further ado....

This little oneshot features a headcanon of mine that Trolls sing their proposals with specially chosen songs. If a troll sings said song and the one being sung to sings back, they are considered engaged. Rings aren't necessary but some choose to give their future spouse one sometimes. Also please listen to the Peter and Evynne Hollens cover of the song sung here, it's the whole inspiration behind it!

Next Chapter; AO3/FF.Net

@writerofberk-Thought I’d tag you for this fluffy thing since it involves a song from HTTYD c: Hope you don’t mind c:

                                                 ~*~*~*~*~*~

The night was dark, calm, stars shining brightly in the sky with all sorts of nighttime critters scurrying around the forest. Most would consider this time for calm reflection, cuddles with loved ones or sleep but not the tiny forest kingdom known as Troll Village. It was alight with flashing colors and pulsing beats, the bass pounding through the ground and into the feet of many dancing trolls. Glow bugs flew through the air, casting multi-colored light everywhere, glitter bombs were shot across the sky to sparkle down and glitter trolls hung from branches letting the flashing lasers catch their sparkling skin, sending rainbow specks of light over the moving mass of bodies. Fireworks were even shot up high into the sky, exploding and letting more glitter rain down on the tribe of Pop trolls. It was all very reminiscent of a party thrown from the, then, princess three years ago.

Queen Poppy danced atop the largest mushroom in the village square, skirts twisting around her legs as she twirled and danced to the music. She was resplendent in her high low gown, the short skirt allowing her free movement and the longer train giving her an air of regalness. Her crown sat inexplicably steady in the center of her head as her bright pink hair waved in the air as she moved. Pink eyes glowed with happiness with a large grin stretched wide against her face as she watched her people dance and sing and enjoy the night. And as she laughed, joy echoing loud and clear, she shined brighter than any star.

Branch sighed as he watched the party, watched Poppy, from where he was hiding behind a large bush, waiting for the right time to give the signal. She was beautiful, as always, so carefree and happy as she danced, her inner light bright enough to warm the darkest of nights. And hearts. She was his Sunshine and he would be forever grateful for all she had done for him and that she loved him back. Watching her now though, surrounded by all the citizens, dancing and singing to their hearts content, a panic shot through his otherwise amorous thoughts and he turned away, intent on running away.

“I can't do this.” He mumbled, trying to rush off to hide in his bunker. As much as he wanted this, wanted her, this plan was stupid. He needed a better one, a more romantic one! No big gesture in front of the entire village. What had he been thinking?!

A kind but strong hand gripped his bicep before he could get too far, “Whoa there, my boy.” Peppy, previous king of the tribe, maneuvered Branch gently backwards until they were facing one another, a soft but amused smile on his face, “It's going to be alright.”

“How do you know that? You can't know for sure! What if I forget the lyrics? What if someone else decides tonight's a good night to do this too? What if we're attacked right as I start?! What if she doesn't want it this way?! What if she doesn't sing back?!” Branch was on the edge of hyperventilating as he thought of all the ways this could go wrong, worrying about all the ways this night could be ruined. One wrong note could through everyone off! Someone could trip or fall and cause an accident before he could even start! Poppy could say 'No.'!!

Peppy firmly placed his hands on Branch's shoulders, holding him steady as he spoke softly, “Deep breaths, Son, deep breaths. There's no reason for Poppy not to sing back, she loves you. It's going to be fine.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “Breath with me now.” He did it again and again until Branch picked up the rhythm and calmed down, the crazed look in his eyes fading. “There we go. Nothing to fret about.”

Branch sighed, “Right...” He wandered back over to peek out at the party, leaf shaped cape fluttering behind him. He watched the continuously dancing trolls, shoulders dropping as he wished, once again, he could be as carefree as them. Maybe then he wouldn't be so nervous. But twenty years of being gray and self-isolated weren't easily washed away.

Peppy watched the younger troll for a moment, comparing the once scared and angry kid to the brave, caring and willing to try young man in front of him, before smiling fondly. There was no one else he'd rather have ruling aside Poppy. And he knew Alder and Willow, and Rosiepuff, would beyond proud of him. Perhaps hearing that would help calm his nerves a little. “You know, your parents would be so proud of you. Your grandmother too.” And for a moment Peppy wished his old friends were here to see how far Branch had come.

Branch turned, a shocked expression crossing his face, “Really?”

“Oh yes,” Peppy nodded as he approached Branch to look out at the party, “You've become a quite remarkable troll, Branch.”

“But I was...gray for so long...”

“And?” Peppy raised an eyebrow as he turned and placed his hands on Branch shoulders, making eye contact, “You've come such a long way since your 'bunker days', my boy, and you're going to continue to grow and learn. So what if you were gray for a little while, you found your happiness again and that's what counts. And I know your family would be...just as proud of that as I am.” The orange troll chuckled, “Probably more. Cammy too, come to think of it.”

Branch blinked in surprise at the mention of the late queen, “Really? You think so?”

Peppy nodded, smiling as he chuckled some more, “Oh yes. She'd be over the moon this was happening.” He suddenly had a thought, placing his finger on his chin, “You know...she probably would have seen this coming if she were still here. Maybe even would have gotten you and Poppy together long before now.” The old king gave a hearty laugh as he thought about his wife and the match making she'd have gone through for their daughter.

Branch shook his head in disbelief but there was a curious smile tugging at the ends of his mouth, “You can't be serious.”

“Oh, I am! Camellia had the uncanniest ability to know when two trolls liked each other and would do everything in her power to help them realize it. There is no doubt in my mind she'd have done the same for you and Poppy.” Peppy continued to laugh softly as he thought about his wife and her brilliant spark. Oh how he wished she was here.

Branch wasn't really sure how to feel about that, the thought of possibly being with Poppy before now both terrifying him and making him wistful it had happened but he chose not to think about that right now. Instead he focused on Peppy's words of his parents and grandmother being proud of him and how far he'd come since he was gray. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he watched the party, “Thank you.”

“Anytime, my boy.”

“And...It's still alright I use your song?” While he felt just tiniest bit less nervous, or at least less panicky, the teal troll was still a little wary about using the same song that Peppy had sung to Camellia for this same occasion.

Peppy chuckled again and gently slapped Branch in the back, “Of course you can! Cammy would want you to, as well. And...I know how much it'll mean to Poppy.”

“Right.” Branch took another deep breath, trying to center himself before going out there and changing his life in one of the biggest ways yet, “Alright....Let's do this.”

                                              ~*~*~*~*~*~

Poppy laughed, her voice getting lost in the loud music, as she bounced to the beat of the song playing. The party was going amazingly well! Everyone was dancing, singing, enjoying themselves to the fullest and she didn't think she could be any happier. Her village was safe, happy and there didn't seem to be anything on the horizon to try and ruin that! The only thing she wished was here, or rather the only one, was Branch. He had come to enjoy parties, at least for a little while before he felt the need to leave, so to not have him here, by her side, was the tiniest little bit disappointing but Poppy didn't let that stop her. She'd party with her people until they grew tired and the party ended then she'd go find her ever sensible other half and tell him all he'd missed. She did wonder briefly where he was but then decided he had probably gotten caught up with a project and lost track of time. Which was fine, she'd just have to pull him away from it later.

Twirling around with another whoop of joy, Poppy was surprised when the next song didn't immediately start playing. In fact the music had stopped and just as she was whipping her head around to look at Suki a whistle started to echo around the square. It was familiar to Poppy, something she could almost place when a voice started to sing and it was a voice she was intimately familiar with. It was the one that brought back her colors after all.

“I'll swim and sail on savage seas with ne'er the fear of drowning...” The surrounding trolls had also begun to hum, adding background music to the angelic voice, “And gladly ride the waves of life...If you will marry me...”

Poppy watched, eyes wide, as they moved, parting and creating a pathway for the now spotlight illuminated troll to walk down. She covered her mouth in happy shock, recognizing the song now, as she watched Branch, dressed in a white suit with a cape fluttering behind him, walk towards her, singing her parents proposal song, “No scorching sun nor freezing cold will stop me on my journey, if you promise me your heart...”

Bouncing on the balls of her feet, she could barely contain herself as she dropped her hands, revealing her smile, and let her own voice sing out and answer Branch's, “And love me for eternity~”

She couldn't stop the tiny giggle as she watched Branch's shoulders drop, the tension he had been holding in escaping. As if she wouldn't sing back, she loved him and wanted him by her side, to sing, to laugh, to have a family, forever. That was when the trolls on either side of the mushroom she was standing on created a staircase for her, and forcing herself not to fly down them and into Branch's arms, Poppy descended, singing sweetly, “My dearest one, my darling ear, Your mighty words astound me~ But I've no need for mighty deeds when I feel your arms around me~”

Confidence settled into Branch as he watched Poppy descend and he strutted forward, letting the song and music guide him, “But I would bring you rings of gold,” He'd a ring for months waiting for this day, “I'd even sing you poetry,” He did that, frequently, “And I would keep you from all harm, if you would stay beside me~” He would do anything to keep the holder of his heart safe and happy, she was his everything.

Poppy couldn't stop grinning as she and Branch got closer, “I have no use for rings of gold, I care not for your poetry!” She playfully tossed her head back, hand on her forehead thinking about how much she actually adored his poetry. She smiled up at him, reaching out, “I only want your hand to hold...”

“I only want you near me~” He sang back, taking her hands and pulling her close, his own matching grin gracing his face before he pulled her into a twirling dance, dancing for all the village to see as they harmonized.

“To love, to kiss, to sweetly hold~ For the dancing and the dreaming~!” They spun around, Branch guiding her and holding her close, “Through all the sorrows and delights, I'll keep your love beside me~!” He gave her a spin, twirling her away before gently pulling her back and touching their foreheads together as the village's voices rose to match them, “I'll swim and sail on savage seas with ne'er a fear of drowning, and gladly ride the waves of life, if you will marry me~!” Their spinning slowed until they were just sway back and forth before Branch pulled away enough to drop to one knee, “If you will marry me~”

“YES!” Poppy cried the moment they stopped, tackling Branch and kissing him soundly as the surrounding trolls cheered. Smidge could be heard over the celebration shouting 'About time!' The couple slowly sat up once Poppy pulled away, happy tears in both their eyes as Branch carefully pulled out and slipped a delicate golden ring with a blue gem in the center on her finger. Poppy laughed joyously and pulled him in for another kiss.

Peppy smiled from where he had watched the procession, chuckling at his daughter's excitement. And as he watched the two of them interact and the village celebrate, he knew things would be in good hands and there would be many years of joy to come.

                                               ~*~*~*~*~*~

Yay! Proposal fluff!!! Hope you enjoyed and stay tuned for more! And as I said please listen to the cover of 'For The Dancing and The Dreaming' by Peter and Evynne Hollens~ I love that version. Also Happy Thanksgiving!

[halothenthehorns]

THE MAN WITH TWO FACES

  THE MAN WITH TWO FACES

Remus took a deep, shaky breath, and stalling a bit said, "there's not too much of this left. Your first year should be almost over."

"I sure hope so," Lily muttered, "I can't take too many more heart attacks."

Harry just smiled at them, but warned, "I can tell you now, you're probably not going to like this chapter. I can't remember what all Quirrell says, but I know it made me angry."

"Great," Sirius rolled his eyes, "something else to look forward to."

The man inside was Professor Quirrell. He greeted Harry very calmly, and stated that he had been wondering whether or not Harry would come down here.

"He's not stuttering," James asked in surprise.

Harry shook his head sadly, feeling like he should pop himself in the head and saying, "No, he was faking it, I should have remembered that."

Harry insisted he thought that it had been Snape, and while Quirrell agreed that Snape seemed the type, what with him swooping around the place like a giant bat,

All three boys couldn't help but snort at this, how many times had they called him that?

who would suspect the stuttering Professor? Harry insisted that it must have been Snape, he tried to kill him! Quirrell just laughs and says it was he who tried, and would have if Hermione hadn't knocked into him during that Quidditch game.

Lily muttered something incomprehensible, she felt like an idiot for not noting that when the book had mentioned it.

Hermione had broken his eye contact that he was using to curse Harry, as well as Snape's who was trying to mutter a countercurse trying to save Harry.

"Bless my soul," James breathed, looking like someone had just punched him in the gut.

"You've got to be joking," Sirius demanded.

Remus was just sitting there, staring blankly down at the page.

Then Lily suddenly let out a whoop of joy, saying smugly, "You see, I told you he..." then she trailed off, looking suddenly confused as the others.

"If Snape was trying to save you, if he didn't hate you like we thought he hated James, then what was all that crap all year?" Sirius demanded.

"Oh he hates me," Harry disagreed, "but not enough to want me dead."

"That, actually made me feel better," James said, blinking spastically in surprise.

"I can hardly believe it," Remus agreed.

Sirius snorted, but even he couldn't think of anything to say just then. Severus Snape had actually tried to save Harry Potter's life? What was this world coming to?

Lily looked like she was about to start crying all over again, but they were tears of joy this time.

Shaking off the last visages of shock he had, Remus now read on quickly.

Harry was still in shock as Quirrell laughed at the absurdity of anyone trying to save Harry, when Quirrell was going to kill him now.

They had all listened to this revelation in stunned silence, but at this last sentence any happy feelings were tossed out of the room, to be replaced by protective anger.

"You throw one curse at him, and no cell in Azkaban will stop me killing you," Sirius vowed.

"That's being kind," James snorted, a manic look gleaming in his eyes, "I can think of much worse things to do to him rather than killing."

"Sign me up for that," Remus and Lily agreed.

Quirrell snapped his fingers, and ropes sprang up out of nowhere and tied themselves around Harry.

"Dammit," Lily snarled, "he's actually competent?"

"That's beyond a normal magical level," Remus said, voice edging into panic. "Wandless magic like that, the only wizard I can think of with that kind of ability is Dumbledore."

"Or Dumbledore's opposite," James breathed.

Sirius whipped his head around and looked at James like he'd grown a second head. "What do you mean by that? Harry would have noticed if Voldemort was there."

Harry groaned suddenly, pressing a fist to his temple, but quickly shook it off, sitting back up and saying, "I think he is there, but I can't remember, he's hiding or someone," he trailed off again, losing colour by the second.

"That's enough Harry," James said at once, then he turned to Remus and said, "keep reading, it should explain soon."

Harry was still trying to process this, demanding to know if it had been Quirrell who had let the troll in on Halloween. He admitted he had, stating he had a gift with trolls,

"Is it because you act like them," James grumbled.

and that he had let it in so that he could get a proper look at what had been guarding the Stone. Sadly that hadn't worked out, nor had the troll killed Harry, and the dog hadn't even managed to tear Snape's leg off.

"We're all so sorry for your failed plan," Remus hissed. He didn't particularly like the mental

image of Fluffy attacking Snape in particular, it brought back too many nightmares of him once almost doing the same.

Then he told Harry to stop asking questions so that he could have a proper look at this mirror.

"Mirror?" They all asked in surprise.

Remus didn't bother to think on it, but kept going.

Only then did Harry look around and find the Mirror of Erised in the same room with them.

"Dumbledore put something up to," James repeated from, looking confused. "Is this what Hagrid meant?"

"I don't get it," Sirius said, "the mirror shows your deepest desire. So anyone whose deepest desire was the Stone could look into it, and what, find out where it's really hidden?"

Remus snorted, saying, "I hope so. That means that it's actually hidden somewhere else, and then Quirrell will have to go off and find it there."

"All that set up, and it was never even down there," Lily rolled her eyes, still a little irked at the whole situation.

Harry set his mind then, determined to keep Quirrell talking and keep his concentration off of that mirror.

"I'd rather you do the opposite," Lily huffed, "let him find the Stone and walk away. He might forget you're there."

"Then I'll have come all this way for nothing?" Harry said in surprise.

"We'd rather you didn't come all that way at all," Remus sighed.

"But boy are we impressed you did," James added on at Harry's rather hurt look.

He said the first thing that came to mind, which was that he'd seen Quirrell and Snape in the forest. Quirrell admitted that Snape had been on to him by this time, wanting to know how far he'd gotten.

"Which reminds me," Sirius said, "what did Snape mean by Hocus Pocus? Quirrell's wasn't an anti-defence spell."

"I've no idea," Harry said honestly, feeling that no one had ever explained that one to him.

Snape had tried to frighten the information out of Quirrell, which he wasn't able to do, because he had Voldemort on his side.

"I'll give him that," Remus sighed, "even Snape isn't as scary as him."

"I'm just impressed this nit called him Voldemort," Sirius said in mild shock. "Normally his

followers call him the Dark Lord, that was pretty bold of him."

"Maybe he's just preening cause he thinks he's about to win," James shrugged, still not really interested in whatever this loon had to say so long as he stayed away from his son.

Quirrell turned his attention back to the mirror then, claiming he could see himself in it, presenting the Stone, presenting it to his master, but he still had no idea where it was.

"Well that's as tricky as it gets," James laughed. "His deepest desire is to give it to Voldemort. So long as that's true, he'll never find its real hiding place."

"Ingenious when you think about it," Sirius agreed, "because your deepest desire would be what you actually do with the Stone. Not the actual Stone, therefore its location."

"Only Dumbledore," Remus said in happy exasperation.

Harry was still talking, bringing up that he thought Snape hated him, which Quirrell

agreed that this was true. Snape had known Harry's father in school, and they hated each other, but that didn't mean Snape wanted Harry dead.

"I'll take that," James said with a weak smile.

Harry reminded that he had heard Quirrell sobbing in an empty classroom, and that finally broke into Quirrell's calm. He looked almost frightened now as he admitted that it was hard for him to always do what his master wanted, and Harry blurted out that Voldemort had been in the classroom with him!

"No way!" All four of adults said at once.

"It's not possible," Remus added on, "Dumbledore was still at the school at the time, Voldemort could never get in."

Lily and James shivered in disgust at the very idea Harry was that close to such a lunatic.

Quirrell didn't seem phased by the question, saying that Voldemort was everywhere he was. How he'd met him while out traveling, how he'd been younger then, with foolish ideas about how good and evil worked.

Sirius groaned, saying, "do we really have to hear the ravings of Death Eater lunatics? I got more than enough of that at my parent's place."

"Sorry Sirius," Remus said, and he sounded like he really meant it. "I'm not skipping."

Voldemort had showed him a different way though, and Quirrell had served him ever since. However when he did let his master down, Voldemort would punish him severely.

"Hope it hurt," James muttered, any kind of pain he more than deserved for what he had tried to do to his son.

He had punished Quirrell quite harshly by deciding to keep a closer eye on him, when Quirrell had failed to steal the Stone from Gringotts. Harry felt like an idiot then, remembering now how he'd seen Quirrell that day in Diagon Alley.

"Yes, but I would have never thought anything of it," Lily sighed, "teachers come and go there as much as anyone else."

"Though I do hope he explains how he broke into Gringotts," Remus scowled, "as that is

supposed to be impossible."

"Don't hold your breath," Sirius muttered, "probably some Dark Magic, or maybe a bribe to one of the Goblins told him it had been removed or something."

Quirrell then turns his attention back to the mirror, and curses that he still doesn't understand what to do, should he break it?

"I feel like that wouldn't actually work," James said, a small smile gracing his features.

"But please, do try," Remus said happily, "that way the Stone will be lost forever."

Harry felt his mind flying, as he realized something. What he wanted most in that moment,

"At the moment?" Lily asked, "I don't think you get to pick your deepest desire. It's simply what it is."

"Maybe," Remus said slowly, "well, it is called the Mirror of Desire. Perhaps you can, in a sense, simply see what you desire at will. Dumbledore was the one that said it had to be your deepest."

"Dumbledore," James said the name like he'd never heard such a thing in his life.

"Alright James?" Sirius asked.

"Dumbledore showed Harry how to use the mirror," he said, running his hand through his hair in agitation, "and the last thing he said, next time you see it you'll know how to use it." He shook his head, he didn't believe in coincidences. Not one bit. "It's almost like he knew Harry-" but then he cut himself ,off, looking about the room like he expected someone to tell him he was being daft.

Instead, they were looking at him like he had just made absolute sense, and they looked furious.

"Are you telling me," Lily said slowly, "that Dumbledore intended for Harry to do this?" She had been thinking this same thing a little earlier, but had hardly been able to fully form the thought, it was just too horrible to consider!

"Not possible," Remus said, though his tone wasn't very believable. After all, if the Headmaster could be fooled by an idiot like Quirrell, what else could he be up to?

"But there's too much of a coincidence," Lily said, beginning to name the tasks out loud. "Hagrid giving Harry a musical instrument for Christmas, Dumbledore surely knew Harry and Hagrid were friends, could he have suggested a gift like that? The flying key room, testing his skills as a Seeker? The chess room, where one of his good friends could test his skills? I'll give you the rest are questionable, but the others just line up to well. To be perfectly honest considering the magic those teachers are capable of, I'd almost say it was easy!"

Sirius was looking about the room like he expected someone to say 'got ya' any second. When no one did he finally said, "I'll agree with you Lily," she turned to face him, because his tone didn't really match what he said, which made sense when he continued on, "but I think you're still a little sore at him for leaving him at the Dursley's. I am too, don't get me wrong on that, but come on. The man's had nothing to do with Harry's life since he dropped him off there. What possible reason could he have for 'testing' him and his friends?"

Remus sighed, rubbing his temple, before glancing over at Harry and asking, "Got any input?"

Harry shrugged, saying blankly, "I, yeah I feel like Mum might be right, but I kind of agree with Sirius, I don't know."

The momentary shock and thrill at Harry actually referring to her as his mother, out loud like that, actually did distract her enough that she really did decide she could let this matter go for now.

Remus nodded, and by now he had come to the conclusion Harry's first instinct was usually right. Still, with nothing to do in the meantime while they all pondered this, he kept reading.

was to get the Stone before Quirrell did. He knew that if he saw himself in front of the mirror now, he could find the Stone first, but how could he do it without Quirrell realizing what he was doing? Quirrell was continuing to speak aloud, admitting he didn't know what to do, and asked his Master for help.

"Great, the nutter talks to himself now," Sirius said absently, all of them who weren't reading were still only half listening, still stuck on the oddity that was their old headmaster.

Then a voice came from seemingly nowhere, whispering to use Harry.

"What?" James yelped, coming out of it first.

"Remus, read that again," Lily said, eyes almost falling out of her head she was so wide eyed.

Remus complied, and they all sat there like stunned fish for a moment.

"How could that have happened?" Harry asked, rather concerned by this reaction.

"I've no idea," James said.

"And that's why it's so bad," Sirius agreed.

"And if none of us knows how to do that," Remus muttered, "then this clearly isn't anything

good."

"My question," Lily said, ignoring how high pitched her voice is, "was who said that?"

Remus glanced back down at the page with ice cold fear, forcing himself to read.

Quirrell dutifully turned his attention on Harry and told him to come stand in front of the mirror. Harry did as told, and looked upon his reflection, which smiled back at him.

"Did that happen before when you saw us?" James asked, not really curious to know the answer, just trying to keep himself in the here and now so he didn't freak out that Harry was now in such immediate danger.

"No," Harry answered honestly.

As he watched, his reflection self-put his hand in his pocket and came out with a ruby red Stone. Then he winked and put it back, and as he did so, Harry felt a weight fall into his own real pocket.

"You're joking," Sirius groaned, "please tell me that was a really awful joke in which Harry now has the thing that lunatic wants, in his pocket."

Remus didn't even glance up at him, but shook his head swiftly from side to side as an answer before blasting on.

Harry now had the Philosopher's Stone.

"But how?" Lily couldn't help but blurt out.

"Really, scary, over the top magic," James grumbled, only having a few vague ideas himself.

Quirrell demanded to know what Harry saw, and he quickly lies as he says that he sees himself winning the House Cup for Gryffindor.

Sirius couldn't help it, he snorted in amusement, saying, "Come on, you could lie better than that."

"I was under a lot of pressure," he defended, mentally adding he had no desire to share what his real deepest desire was with that man.

Quirrell pushed him out of the way again, and Harry considers whether he dare make a run for it.

"Yes, please dare to," Remus said fervently.

Then the voice returned, again from nowhere,

"Dammit," Sirius groaned, this Dark Magic, whatever it was doing this, just kept getting worse and worse.

saying that Harry was lying.

"How, what-" Lily spluttered.

"I don't know, and I won't if you keep asking me that," Remus snapped at her.

At Lily's hurt look, he said, "Sorry, we're all a bit on edge."

Lily nodded, accepting the apology.

Quirrell rounded back on Harry and demanded to know what Harry saw. Then the voice requested that it wanted to speak to Harry, face to face.

"Don't want that. Absolutely the last thing I will ever want," James was muttering.

All four of them couldn't get the idea out of their head, Harry was in the same room as Voldemort! It was impossible, but...

Quirrell turned on the spot and began unwinding his turban,

Harry knew, instinctively somehow, he did not like what Remus was about to say next, if the reaction to feeling like screaming meant anything.

and sticking out of the back of Quirrell's head was a face,

"A face?" James said faintly.

"Out of the back of..." Lily whispered.

"I'm going to be sick." Sirius groaned, and the green colouring made it seem like he wasn't

kidding about that.

"He, what, merged bodies with..." Remus tried to say, trailing off in confusion or horror they

didn't know.

"That's not, he's not even-" Lily stuttered.

"Explains the magic beyond Quirrell's level," Sirius muttered bitterly. He felt itchy all over, like he needed a hot bath just from hearing about this.

"It gets weirder as you go on," Harry said, rubbing his temple again in agitation. His scar wasn't hurting him now, but he seemed to know that it was about to start hurting soon.

Remus wouldn't have believed that, until his twenty year old cub fell into the kitchen yesterday. While the baby he knew and loved sat in Sirius' lap.

that was the palest of whites with dark red eyes and snake like nostrils.

"There's a nightmare I'll never forget," James said in disgust, he really wanted to go wash himself in pure soap.

The face looked on at Harry, whispering that this was what he'd been reduced to, only a vapour,

"I might be fascinated if that wasn't the most twisted, darkest thing I've ever heard in my life," Remus said in disgust.

that he only really had form when he shared another person's body,

"Great," Lily snapped scornfully, "so our plan should be that no one ever wears something that covers up their head, ever again."

but he has always found someone willing and able to share. How he's always convinced people to drink unicorn blood, like Quirrell had been doing that night in the forest.

"I am going to be sick," Sirius vowed.

Once he found the Stone, he wouldn't even need that, all Harry had to do was hand it over.

"Run," they all whispered, that thought the only thing any of them could really focus on anymore.

Harry tried to run then, and the face merely cackled, saying that Harry may as well save his life and join Voldemort, or he'd go the same way as his parents, begging for their life.

"LIAR!" Remus and Sirius snarled, angrier than they had been yet.

Harry could feel blood pounding in his ears, this was the part he had been remembering, he hated listening to someone say anything about his parents, but he also feared that the pain would be coming soon.

Harry shouted that this was a lie!

His parents beamed at him, pleased to know that if Harry knew anything about them, it was this one truth.

Quirrell had been turning on the spot to make sure Harry stayed in the faces line of sight.

"I might laugh if that wasn't the most disturbing sentence I've ever heard in my life," James said faintly.

Voldemort seemed to be enjoying himself now as he taunted Harry, saying that he had he had killed his father first,

Remus voice almost stuttered out, he really didn't want to be the one to read this.

Then James surprised them all by puffing out his chest and saying, "I'm not surprised one bit. He'd have to kill me to get to you two."

Lily's lower lip was quivering, while she didn't appreciate that statement one bit, she wasn't about to argue it either.

"Do you want me to read?" Harry offered, when it seemed Remus might pass out.

"No," he said, bolstering his courage. If James and Lily could hear this without crying over it, he could certainly read it.

how he had tried to fight him off while his mother made a run for it, but she shouldn't have died, she was just protecting Harry.

"Of course I did," she hissed, her wand appearing in her hand, looking ready to curse the world any second now to protect her family.

Then he told Harry to give him the Stone, unless Harry wanted to die for nothing. Harry shouted back he never would.

"And we don't blame you one bit," Lily whispered to him.

Harry smiled around at his parents, never having been more proud to be their son then in this moment.

"Hoping that bastards done now," Sirius muttered in disgust, hearing that had been almost as bad as hearing they were dead the first time.

Harry ran back towards the door which was still on fire,

"The potion would have worn off," Lily yelped in concern.

"Would you rather he stayed in there with them? Him? How would you even..." Sirius began hotly, but faded off into mutters at the end.

Harry couldn't help but burst out laughing at him, which calmed them all down.

Since Harry was alive and laughing, and didn't have black burns all over his body from that fire, Remus read on with only medium anxiety.

but then Voldemort yelled at Quirrell to catch him.

Which immediately flew up to the highest level of anxiety it could get. Harry may be fine now, but how much had Voldemort/ Quirrell hurt him before Harry gave up the Stone?

Blinking the red vision out of his eyes, Remus quickly read.

Harry felt something catch his wrist,

"He's dead." Sirius spat, looking quite deranged at hearing anyone put their hand on his godson. "I don't care where he is right now, he is dying."

"Not going to stop you," the others agreed, privately thinking they would all help.

and the moment that happened he could feel the sharp pain returning across his scar,

Harry winced, putting his hand to his scar again, there was the pain he had been remembering.

it made his head feel like it was being cleaved open,

"Why?" Lily yelped, pushing Harry's hand out of the way so she could look him in the face,

"what spell was he doing to cause that to happen to you?"

"It wasn't a spell," Harry muttered, frustrated that he couldn't remember why this was happening, even though it felt really important.

"Keep going Remus," James said evenly, he wanted to get past this part already.

and Harry tried to pull away, and to his astonishment, Quirrell did let go.

"Who'd have thought yelling and struggling would actually work," Sirius said to himself, pleased beyond measure it had.

The pain began to dull enough that he could look around and spot Quirrell who was kneeling and looking down in surprise at his hand, which was blistering.

"I've never heard of anything like that," Remus whispered.

"Why can't he touch me?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"Don't question it, run for it," James said quickly.

Remus pushed the thought aside for now so he could read on.

Voldemort was still yelling to catch Harry, and Quirrell still obeyed, getting to his feet only to knock Harry on his back and straddle him, wrapping both burnt hands around his neck.

"Remus!" Harry yelped in shock as the book actually split down the spin as Remus ripped it.

He didn't look very sorry, looking at the remnants of the pages in his hand like they themselves were Quirrell's skull.

Lily waved her wand, and the book flew back into his grasp, completely repaired, then she

snapped at him, "What did I tell you-"

"You told Sirius he couldn't ruin the book. You didn't say anything to me," he pointed out.

"Wohoo, loophole," Sirius cackled, slapping a high five with his friend.

All four adults were still breathing more rapidly than normal, the mental image of Harry being pinned to the ground and strangled one that would leave a scar on them for the rest of their life they were sure, but the distraction had done its job.

Harry was again laughing along at these antics, safe and sound right here with them. Sirius cuddled the baby closer to him, and both of Harry's parents leaned in to their son as Remus forced himself to go on.

The pain in his scar returned, so horrible it nearly blocked everything else out, like Quirrell shouting that his hands hurt, and he couldn't hold him,

"Hope you can't heal that," Lily said nastily.

and Voldemort snapped that he should just kill him already, and so Quirrell pulled out a wand and was fixing to do just that,

Remus couldn't help but stutter over those lines, but one glance up at the black haired youth squished between his parents and he was able to finish.

but then Harry lunged forward and pressed his hands against Quirrell's face, causing a scream of pain.

"Who was screaming, you or him?" Sirius asked.

"Both of us?" Harry muttered, still rubbing his scar.

"You're rubbing that an awful lot," James frowned.

"I just remember the pain, really, really well. That's something I wouldn't like to have had back."

His parents smiled sadly down at him, but no one could really think of anything to say to that.

Quirrell got off of him and stumbled around, moaning about his now burnt face and hands, and Harry realized that Quirrell couldn't touch him without being burnt, so Harry decided he could work with that.

"Hopefully die from pain overdose," Sirius said in a chipper tone, then added on, "though that would kill my fun."

Remus' mouth twitched at that, but Sirius seemed so sincere, he decided not to ruin that comment by pointing out that this act was clearly hurting Harry as well. It wasn't hurting him now though, which gave him the strength to read.

Harry ran forward and caught hold of Quirrell's face again, hanging on for dear life as Quirrell was screaming in pain, and Harry was screaming through the pain of his scar, and Voldemort was screaming that he had to die, and someone else screaming his name...

"Oh I doubt that," James breathed.

"Help arrived, maybe Ron and Hermione," Lily offered, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice.

He felt his grip being torn away from Quirrell,

"Bloody hell," Sirius groaned, that wasn't a good sign, was it possible other Death Eaters had arrived?

and then Harry blacked out.

"Jeez, if you had actually stopped there-" James began, then broke off his own sentence, not even wanting to say any of those next words.

"It's okay," Harry said into the awkward silence. "I'm alright then. Nothing else happens for the rest of this year." Except going back to the Dursley's he privately added.

"Well I should hope not," Lily yelped, "isn't five deadly situations more than enough for all seven years at school!"

Harry gave her a sheepish expression, but didn't seem like he was going to answer.

Remus didn't give him the chance.

There was something gold above him, and his mind went to a Snitch. He wanted to grab it, but his arm felt weighted.

"Are you dreaming again?" Lily asked.

Harry shook his head no, smiling now. His scar, he remembered, didn't hurt anymore. The

opposite in fact, he felt quite content and happy, if a bit drowsy.

He blinked a few more times and found it wasn't a Snitch, but glasses.

"Strange indeed," Remus said, rubbing his jaw, more grateful than anything that whole ordeal seemed to be over.

"Who wears golden glasses?" Sirius asked redundantly since he knew Remus was fixing to read.

After blinking once more, the face of Albus Dumbledore swam into view.

"Oh," they all muttered in annoyance. None of them had really decided on their feelings about him just yet, this book was certainly implying a lot of bad stuff about him.

Harry tried to begin explaining at once, that Quirrell was after the Stone,

"Right to the point then," James said, frowning slightly. He really would hate it if Quirrell had gotten the Stone after all of that hard work his son did.

but Dumbledore was quick to calm him, saying that Quirrell didn't have it.

"I will admit, that's a relief," Sirius sighed.

Harry was still wound up, demanding to know who did have it then, and Dumbledore tried to relax him once more, saying he had to calm down or Madam Pomfrey would kick him

out.

"That she will," Remus actually chuckled, amazed he could feel alright again after that awful last scene.

Harry forced himself to settle and look around properly, finding himself in the hospital wing. On his bedside table was a mountain's worth of candy.

"How come you guys never gave me that much candy when I was in there?" Remus demanded, unable to hide his smile.

James snorted, saying, "Please, if we gave you candy every time you wound up there, we'd put every candy shop in the country out of business."

"You're only encouraging him," Lily reminded, "since buying that much would in fact be good for their business."

"Fine, then all of our teeth would simultaneously rot out," Sirius grinned.

"Never stopped you trying before," Remus smirked, but then he finally admitted he had let the joke drag on too long so quickly kept reading before anyone else could throw something out.

Dumbledore noticed Harry's stares, saying that these were tokens of gratification from his friends and admirers. What had happened below the castle was supposed to be a complete secret, so naturally, the whole school knew.

"Sounds about right," Sirius laughed.

"Really though," Lily asked, "what did the school know about that?"

Harry shrugged, answering, "I honestly have no idea. I never wanted to ask anyone."

He even mentioned that Fred and George had tried to send Harry a toilet seat.

They couldn't help it, all five of them cracked up laughing at that. It seemed a lifetime ago they were reading about Mrs. Weasley scolding her boys on the platform.

Sadly though, Madam Pomfrey had taken it away, claiming it wasn't hygienic.

"Killjoy," James sighed.

Harry asked how long he'd been out for, and Dumbledore replied three days.

"Three days," Lily moaned.

"If it makes you feel any better," Harry said, "that's the longest I'll ever be in the hospital wing." Then he frowned and rubbed his temple, annoyed at this random habit of his gut speaking, and his brain paying for it.

Lily looked like she dearly wanted to ask why Harry had wound up in there any other time, but felt it wasn't worth it right this moment.

He concluded that Ron and Hermione were going to be very relieved to hear Harry had awoken, but Harry went back to asking about the Stone then.

"One track mind eh?" Remus chuckled, honestly curious what had happened to it as well. His cub sure went through an awful lot of trouble to keep it safe, he did deserve to know.

Dumbledore admitted that he had arrived just in time to separate Harry from Quirrell, and Harry asked if he'd received Hermione's owl. Dumbledore says that he must have just missed it, as he'd arrived in London only to realize what was going on. He turned around at once to get rid of Quirrell.

"Okay, I'm not mad at Dumbledore any more," James sighed, he clearly had come at a time when Harry needed him, which was the most important thing to him.

"Remembered why Dumbledore was supposed to be gone so long yet?" Sirius asked.

Harry nodded brightly and said, "Oh yeah, it's because he said he flew. When he got to the

ministry though, he apperated back. I don't know how he flew, he didn't say," he trailed off with a shrug, having remembered asking him this shortly before he headed to the boats at the end of the year.

"Might have used a Thestral, like Hagrid at the beginning of the year," Lily speculated.

"We never even proved that's how Hagrid did it," Remus pointed out.

"Why would he fly anyways?" Sirius demanded, "Hagrid I can understand, but Dumbledore has every means at his disposal-"*

"Sirius," James broke him off, "let it go. We're not going to find that out."

Sirius huffed, but did indeed let the matter drop.

Dumbledore admitted that he feared he had almost been too late, and Harry begins to agree saying he couldn't have kept the Stone safe much longer, but Dumbledore corrects saying he thought he'd almost been too late to save Harry who had nearly died in trying to hold off Quirrell.

Remus shuddered in disgust. How many times was he going to have to read that?

"I guessed as much, from the way Harry was passing out," James murmured to himself, the only reason he had been able to hold himself together was because of his living son at his side now.

"Then yeah, I guess I forgive him to," the other three agreed.

Then he said that the Stone was destroyed.

"Destroyed?" Sirius said blankly, "after all that, he went and blew it up."

James snorted, asking, "Why do you assume the only way to destroy something is to blow it up?"

"That's just what came out okay, I didn't mean it literally," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Harry was astonished, asking what would happen to Nicolas Flamel, and Dumbledore seemed pleased that Harry had done this thing right.

"The thing," Lily said at once, eyes narrowing dangerously. "I think I might reconsider my

forgiveness."

"Now Lily," James began, but then she looked at him, and James quickly redirected, "keep going Remus."

Then he explained that Nicholas and his wife had set their affairs in order, and then they would indeed die.

"To be honest, I don't think I'd want to live that long anyways," Sirius said, "be bloody depressing outliving everyone you know by a couple hundred years."

Harry simply sat there, staring for some time. Dumbledore tried to explain that death was merely a new adventure. The Stone really wasn't such a good thing, as it gave man everything he would have wanted, but then again, man usually had a knack for wanting exactly what was the worst thing for them.

"Nutter, I swear," James snorted.

Harry started to ask that if the Stone was gone, then how would You-Know-Who, but Dumbledore corrected him and told him to call him Voldemort, that fear of a name will only increase his fear of the thing itself.

"Glad Dumbledore taught you that," James said proudly.

Harry corrected himself by asking if Voldemort could somehow find a way to still come back.

"I'm not even going to ask if he said 'no, of course not,'" Lily sighed, pressing her face into her hands in preparation for this answer.

Dumbledore agreed that he is still out there, biding his time, perhaps looking for another body to share,

"Well, then Lily's thing about having to show your full head should at least be applied to all future teachers," James muttered, still forcing down a shiver of disgust.

but since he wasn't really alive, he couldn't really die. He left Quirrell to die,

"Deserves it," Remus said without any remorse. None of them disagreed.

which only showed he cared as little for his followers as he did his enemies.

"You would think his followers would realize this," Sirius pointed out.

"Nah, they're too dumb to work for themselves, they need someone telling them what to do," James snickered.

Harry had only delayed his return, but if people kept on delaying forever, then perhaps he would never truly return.

"Let that be as true as it ever gets," Lily vowed, personally thinking about starting up a new

Department just for this job alone if it kept Voldemort out of their lives for good.

Harry wanted to ask another question, and Dumbledore said he would try and answer if he could, but said he may not, but promised not to lie.

"Again," Sirius snorted, thinking back to the mirror.

Harry began by saying that Voldemort had killed his mother because she had tried to stop him from killing Harry,

"Which I would do every single time forever," Lily growled, a glint of something in her eyes none of the boys had seen before this day.

but why had Voldemort gone after Harry's family in the first place?

"Yes," James said eagerly, he had been wanting to know this since the first chapter!

Dumbledore said that this was one of those questions he couldn't answer.

"Why the bloody hell not," Sirius groaned.

"Cause I was too young," Harry said sadly.

"Was?" James asked, eyeing him hopefully, "are you saying he does tell you then?"

"I," he hesitated for a moment, then accepting the pain that was coming he spoke with his gut, "yeah, I think he does." The pain flowed through him, and he brushed it off as soon as he could, allowing Remus to go on.

That Harry was too young, but perhaps when he was older, then he'd tell him.

"I'm pretty sure we all hate to hear that right now," Lily muttered.

Feeling disgruntled, Harry decided to move on to another question, why hadn't Quirrell been able to touch him?

"Yeah," James sighed, "I hope he bleeding answers that question."

Dumbledore happily answered that one, saying that when Harry's mother died for him, it left a mark of protection. Not anything visible, but something he would carry with him forever.

The longer Remus kept reading, the more curious his tone became. This was something he'd never heard of, and he still loved learning new things.

Quirrell, having shared a soul with Voldemort, could not touch Harry, because the mark that was left on Harry, something so truly good, meant someone like Quirrell could not touch Harry without feeling great pain.

Lily hadn't realized she was crying until she blinked, a tear traced her cheek down her face. Then she saw that Harry was smiling at her, and she whispered, happier then she could ever remember being, "so I saved you?"

Harry nodded, unable to speak himself.

The three boys exchanged happy smiles, all thinking that if they had to die, at least they had left Harry with this small precious gift. Their love and protection over him, even if they couldn't be there in person to deliver it. Each of them had questions of how this had really worked, as surely Lily wasn't the first mother to die for her child, but they decided to wait until much later to question the actual act of that magic.

Harry sat and thought about this for some time before moving on to another question, and asked if Dumbledore knew who had sent him his invisibility cloak?

"Just out of curiosity, though I'd really like to know the answer myself, why on earth would you think he'd know that?" Remus asked. "It's not like you knew then what you know now."

"He's the headmaster of the school," Harry tried to explain, "I thought he would know everything that goes on there, I don't know, I didn't even have anyone else to ask really."

"Fair enough," he agreed, albeit sadly.

Dumbledore said that his father had left it in his possession,

"I did what?" James balked.

"So we were right," Sirius said slowly, "sometime in the next year, the Order must find out about it, and everyone starts using it. Or Dumbledore could mean him specifically, in which case," he trailed off.

"Why would he need it?" Lily asked what they were all thinking, "he's already said that he can be invisible without it?"

"Well maybe he couldn't," Remus offered, "there could be a million reasons why he couldn't have turned himself invisible, and he needed an untraceable way."

"Well, remind me never to offer it up anyways," James sniffed, privately thinking that he didn't care what the bloody Order needed it for, his family was going to need it more all too soon.

but Dumbledore decided that it belonged in Harry's hands. His father had made good use of it by sneaking around the castle, stealing food from the kitchens.

"Can't deny that," Sirius chuckled.

Harry began to ask about Snape, but then Dumbledore corrected him it was Professor Snape.

"Ah no," Remus interrupted himself, "if Harry actually ever calls him that, and means it mind you, I'll eat a quaffle."

All of the boys laughed, while Lily simply rolled her eyes indulgently.

Harry just said, yes him,

"Best answer you could have given," Sirius snickered.

and how Quirrell had said something about how his father had hated him, and was that true?

"Yes, and no," Lily said sadly, "but since you already know that complicated answer," she trailed off, eyeing Remus expectantly, who took the hint.

Dumbledore agreed that they did detest each other, but then his father had done something Snape couldn't forgive, he saved Snape's life.

"What?" Harry yelped.

Remus couldn't help but burst out laughing, and without looking up read.

Harry exclaimed what!?

Harry ignored this, still eyeing his father.

The three boys exchanged rather uneasy looks, that was a rather nasty tail for all parties involved, so James said slowly, "well, you see, ah-"

Then Sirius cut in quickly, "Let's start with, it was my fault, end with the bugger didn't actually die, and we can fill in the middle bit later, yeah?"

Harry nodded grudgingly, very curious to hear this.

"Maybe Dumbledore will tell you now," Lily offered, though none of them really expected him to give Harry the full story.

Dumbledore explained that Snape hated being in his father's debt, and that he'd done so much this year to protect Harry because he felt it would make them even.

"Well," James said, looking like he'd just swallowed a lemon he spat out, "okay fine. Yeah, call us even. But anything he does to you over the next six years is fair game for me to hate him again."

Lily snorted, but none of them could disagree.

Now he could go on hating Harry's father in peace.

"And I'm sure he did," Sirius said in a false happy voice.

Harry tried to understand this but it made his head hurt.

"That was a bombshell out of nowhere," he explained to the kind of confused looks.

Then Harry asked how the Stone got out of the mirror.

"I think we've kind of worked that out," Remus said.

"But I'd like to hear him explain it anyways," Sirius said in a stuffy tone, "so no cutting out."

Remus gave him the stank eye before reading.

Dumbledore beamed as he said he felt that was one of his more brilliant ideas, which was saying something,

James couldn't help but snort with mirth at that.

and explained that only someone who wanted to find the Stone without using it could get it out of the mirror.

"Yeah," Remus nodded, "about what I worked out."

"Know it all," James snickered, while Remus stuck his tongue out at him.

"But Quirrell didn't technically want to use it," Lily pointed out with a ruffled brow. "So shouldn't that still count?"

"But Voldemort did," Sirius reminded with a renewed shudder of disgust at the thought, "and I think that's what made it count. If Quirrell had just been down there on his own, then maybe he would have gotten it on a technicality. It all depends on how liberal the mirror was with the spell, if Quirrell's intentions to give it to someone who would use it still nullified him."

"You scare me when you get all logical like that," Lily smirked back without argument.

Dumbledore then turned his attention to Harry's candy and exclaims when he finds a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. He says he'd come across a vomit flavoured one once,

"Blech," Sirius retched, the nausea he had been feeling had died down, but he didn't appreciate the reminder.

but decided he'd try one again with a toffee colored one.

"Never assume what flavour it is by the colour," James said wisely, "otherwise chocolate

flavoured can look like bark."

He chewed on the bean for a moment before gagging and saying it had been ear wax.

"My point," he laughed.

The narrative returned, explaining that Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, was a nice woman, but very strict.

"You can say that again," Remus nodded in agreement.

Time had clearly passed, and Harry was now trying to convince her to let his friends in now that Dumbledore had gone, and she had let him in.

"Another benefit of the cloak," Sirius snorted, "we never asked for permission to go in there."

"You never asked for permission to go anywhere," Lily reminded.

She said she had because that was the headmaster, but Harry still needed his rest.

"She thinks resting will cure every disease in the world," Remus muttered.

Harry promised he wouldn't get out, just please let them in, and she did.

"Poor kids, not being allowed to go in and see him," Lily sighed, then perked up at once saying, "Oh, Ron's okay. Poor thing, I've forgotten all about him."

"Well, since Harry didn't wake up and find him in the Hospital with him, I'm sure he wasn't too badly hurt," Sirius said brightly.

Hermione ran in, looking ready to fling another hug on Harry, but she held back to which Harry was grateful for, as he was still feeling rather sore.

All four adults again exchanged superior looks, they had a feeling Hermione liked hugging Harry a little more than as a friend, but as Harry had shown no reaction to this, since he only had eleven year old memories it wasn't too surprising, they said nothing.

Hermione exclaimed how worried they were, while Ron wanted to know what had

happened. Harry filled them in on all the details, and Hermione screamed out right when she heard what was on the back of Quirrell's head.

"Damn near did as well," Lily shuddered.

When he was done Ron's first question was that since the Stone was gone, Flamel was just going to die?

"Well when you put it like that, it sounds awful," Remus chuckled.

Harry agreed that's what he had said, but then repeated what Dumbledore had told him. Ron said that Dumbledore was crazy, but hardly looked upset over this.

"A feeling I share," Sirius laughed.

Then Harry asked what had happened to them, and Hermione says how she went back and got Ron, and they were going up to the owlery to write a note to Dumbledore when they met him in the entrance hall,

"Entrance hall?" James said, frowning, "the owlery is up in the turrets, and they were on the third floor. What did they go down for?"

"Took a wrong secret passage," Harry answered, he had asked them this himself later. "Hermione was leading, and they were in so much of a panic, they decided not to risk taking any more. They wound up at the top of the stairs and there was the entrance hall..." he trailed off, then waved Remus on.

and Dumbledore's only words were that Harry had gone after him, hadn't he? Then Ron asks if Dumbledore meant to set the whole thing up, like by sending Harry the cloak.

"I'll kill him," Lily vowed, "encouraging you to do that!"

"Lily," Remus said uneasily, but she looked like she was going red in the face as she snarled, "No Remus. Nothing you say will make this alright. Nothing Dumbledore says could make this alright. If he intended-"

"I'm not defending him," Remus said hotly back, "what I'm saying is give the bloody man a

chance."

Lily paused, giving him an odd look, while he explained, "You made us promise not to kill Snape because of what we thought of him, well now I'm asking you to do the same. Dumbledore is the greatest wizard there is, and while I can fault him for a lot of things in this year," he waved the book around just to make sure they understood what he meant, "I'll not have you condemn him without all the facts. Six more books Lily, then you can go kill him if you want."

Lily deflated, but finally said, "Yes, alright, agreed."

James and Sirius were looking between the two wide eyed like a tennis match, but after a few more moments Remus continued.

Hermione disagreed, he wouldn't do that, Harry could have been killed.

Lily muttered something under her breath, but not loud enough for anyone to hear.

Harry said that he thinks instead of Dumbledore discouraging them, he may have just been trying to help them along, like he thought Harry had a right to face Voldemort.

Lily opened her mouth in protest, but quickly snapped it shut. She came to the conclusion that if she started nagging on everything she thought Dumbledore did, rather than the man himself saying it, she was no better than the four boys around here this whole book. So she kept her mouth shut, and contented herself with mental scathing.

Ron repeated that Dumbledore was off his rocker. Then he changed the subject to the end-of-year feast tomorrow. Even though all of the points were in and Slytherin had won, because Harry had missed the last Quidditch match,

James groaned, saying, "this is why you have a reserve team."

"Maybe they still won with a quick replacement," Remus offered without any real hope.

that Ravenclaw had pummelled them without Harry,

"Never mind," he sighed.

"Who did replace you anyways?" Sirius asked.

"Some seventh year who Charlie beat out of the team all those years ago," Harry shrugged, he'd never asked for details, to angry at himself for missing the match.

but at least the food would be good. Before Harry could respond though, Madam Pomfrey came back over and told them they had to get out now, Harry had to rest!

"Bossy, bossy, bossy," Remus muttered. As good as her intentions were, the thing he hated the most about his condition was being cut off from his friends so much.

The next day Harry was trying to convince the matron to let him go to the feast, and she agreed that Dumbledore had allowed this in a rather stiff tone, like she thought feasts were far too dangerous.

"Well you can't blame her since that time we released a horde of fire salamanders our last day there," James chuckled, no one would ever forget that ceremony.

Then she told Harry that he had another visitor, and Hagrid walked in, took one look at Harry, and began crying.

"Aw," Lily smiled, "in all of this, I can't even be mad at Hagrid for his slip."

"Agreed," the boys all said.

He began sobbing that this was all his fault, if he hadn't slipped about Fluffy, and how he shouldn't have fallen for something like a dragon egg.

"In consolation, he didn't know that at the time," Remus said bracingly, like Hagrid was really there to comfort him. "Otherwise I'm positive you wouldn't have said a word."

Then he swore he'd never drink again. Exclaiming how he should be forced to live with Muggles.

"I think they only do that to wizards who can't be rehabilitated in Azkaban," James said,

frowning. "Hagrid's never done anything to deserve that."

"Rehabilitated?" Sirius snorted. "They bloody lose their souls in that place."

"Can we not talk about this," Lily groaned, she didn't want to think about that horrid place any more then possible, and Harry was looking a little funny at the mention of the place.

Harry tried to comfort him, saying surely Voldemort would have figured all of that out some other way.

"True as well," Remus agreed.

Hagrid told him not to say the name, and in retaliation, Harry screamed Voldemort, which stunned Hagrid so much he stopped crying.

"I've never tried that," James said thoughtfully, "you think if we just yell it loud enough people will get over it?"

Lily snorted and shook her head in disbelief, but since James clearly didn't mean it she didn't say anything.

Harry said that because he'd met him, he was going to call him by his name.

'Wish you hadn't met him' they were all thinking.

Harry tried to convince Hagrid to cheer up, and handed him a Chocolate Frog.

"That cheers everyone up," Remus said, smiling eagerly.

Hagrid did marginally cheer up then, and said that he'd gotten Harry a present.

Dumbledore had given him the day off for him to work on it, though in his opinion he should have been fired instead.

They were all very curious to see what Hagrid had gotten Harry this time. Despite the disastrous consequences of his Christmas gift, he was still the one person through this entire story that had been keeping an eye out for Harry, that wasn't a student anyways. True he had made some disastrous mistakes, but who hadn't in their life?

Hagrid gave him a book, and when Harry flipped it open, he found a photo album filled with pictures of his mother and father.

"Oh," Lily murmured, looking about ready to burst into tears again.

"Thank Merlin," James breathed, "I'd hate for your only image of us to be some spooky old

mirror."

Harry was smiling sadly, very much wishing he had that book now, having looked through it so many times he would have wanted to ask exactly when and why each picture had been taken.

Hagrid had apparently sent owls off to all of Harry's parents old school friends asking for these, then asked if Harry liked it.

Remus and Sirius exchanged very depressed looks, knowing that they probably hadn't been on that list.

"You were in the book," Harry said slowly, looking at Sirius with a new light, then he smiled and said, "I knew it. I thought I had some memory of you, but it must have been your picture I'd seen. The wedding photo."

Sirius went bright eyed at that saying, "You saw me? That's awesome, here we were both getting depressed you'd never even know we existed."

Harry smiled and nodded, but the moment Remus kept reading, the less sure he felt. There was a picture of Sirius in his parent's scrapbook, but that wasn't the feeling he had of Sirius. It must be though, what else could it be?

Harry was speechless with gratitude.

Harry was finally released from the Hospital wing after that and made his way down to the Great Hall, finding the place decked out in Slytherin colours, but trying to ignore that plus all of the stares he was receiving as he sat in between Ron and Hermione.

"I just had deja vu' to your first day there," James wanted to laugh, but at Harry's annoyed look, he held himself back.

Then Dumbledore took to his feet and began addressing the students, saying that he was happy they had a good school year, and happier they had a whole summer to forget it all.

"I wish some students hadn't taken that to heart," Lily said lightly.

James and Remus gave her annoyed looks, but Sirius actually laughed for a moment before he realized Lily had meant them, then he just scowled at her without any real heat.

Then he began addressing the House Cup, stating all of the house points. Slytherin cheered wildly, and Harry felt sick at watching Draco Malfoy cheer along.

"Maybe next year you won't go pulling as many stupid stunts, and you'll actually earn points," Lily said without any real hope.

James snorted, for some reason he highly doubted that. Then Lily looked at Harry's face, and she agreed it was wishful thinking.

Dumbledore gave them congratulations, then said that recent events had to be accounted for.

"Recent events?" Sirius asked.

"They stop counting the last day before exams start," Remus puzzled.

Then Dumbledore said he was going to give out some last-minute points,

James went wide eyed before he gasped, "you mean he's going to award you three with house points for what you did?"

Harry muttered, "us four," but not loud enough that Remus stopped to ask.

and started with Ronald Weasley, who went bright purple in shock, looking like a sunburnt radish.

"I officially cannot meet your friend without laughing at him," James chuckled.

Dumbledore awarded him fifty house points for his champion chess skills.

"That bumped you to third place," Lily sighed, this didn't seem fair to her at all. Through the

whole of their first year, Harry and his friends had constantly broke the rules, and been awarded for it. The only time they had been punished, and still Harry was almost put in danger because of it. She really, really didn't like this pattern that was forming.

The Gryffindors all began cheering, Percy beside himself with pride as he boasted that was his kid brother who had gotten past McGonagall's chess set.

"So they do know some of what happened," Sirius said in surprise.

Once things had quieted down again, he went to Hermione, awarding her fifty points for her use of logic.

"The three of you are going to win that hundred and fifty points back," Remus surmised.

"But that would leave them twenty points short," Lily added up.

"So Dumbledore's rewarding you guys for what you did, but not so much that you beat out

another house," James said approvingly.

Lily sighed, she wished they weren't rewarded for it at all. She was proud of her son for what he did yes, but if he came to the conclusion that it was alright now to go breaking rules and then expected to be awarded, they were going to have a hard six books to come.

Then he went on to Harry, awarding him sixty points for his use of courage.

"Never mind, they did tie," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Has there ever been a tie?" James asked.

"No, not that I can think of," Remus said, "so this might be interesting."

Harry was cheering along with everyone else, but then as he added it up, he realized they were now tied with Slytherin. Dumbledore wasn't done yet though, as he finally went on to Neville, awarding him ten points for having stood up to his friends.

All four adults couldn't help themselves. Despite how wrong they felt this was, they all said,

"Congratulations," and Harry's eyes light up like Christmas all over again. Mostly though, they were just proud of him, and happy that Neville had been rewarded as well for what he had done. What's done is done.

The whole Hall went wild, everyone was pleased that the Slytherin's had lost the cup. McGonagall and Snape got to their feet and shook hands, a rather forced smile in place on the later.

"Oh, I'm sure he's very pleased about all of this," Sirius laughed.

Snape caught Harry's eye, and he could tell that Snape's feelings towards him hadn't changed one little bit.

"Can't say I'm surprised," James sighed.

"Disappointed though," Lily muttered.

Harry knew that this was the best night of his life, better than playing Quidditch, or his Christmas, or even knocking out trolls.

"Knocking out mountain trolls is a good memory now?" Lily asked.

"Well when you look back, yeah, I was pretty proud of that incident," Harry shrugged.

Before he knew it, the school year was over, they were being handed their final grades, and even the neanderthal students like Crabbe and Goyle had managed to scrape through, but as Ron said, you couldn't have everything.

"Has anyone ever gotten such bad marks they were thrown out?" Sirius laughed.

"You should try it sometime," Lily said sweetly.

"Why do you keep picking on me," Sirius grumbled.

"Because you know I don't mean it," she shrugged, eyes twinkling.

Sirius couldn't help it, he smiled back.

Notes were handed out reminding that magic wasn't allowed on holidays,

"Pointless really for the purebloods," James laughed.

despite Fred saying how he always hoped no one would remember to hand those out.

"Even if they forgot to give them to you, the rule would still apply," Lily giggled.

Their suitcases were packed, and they were all back on the boats with Hagrid to head back to the train. The three friends had a memorable trip, filled with candy and games, and then they were pulling back onto the platform.

"Oh no," Remus groaned.

"What's the matter," James demanded, Remus looked like he didn't know whether to be angry or sad, and it was rather an odd, torn expression.

"I've just realized where he's heading back to," he sighed.

"Crap," Sirius hissed in disdain.

"You know what, I lied," Lily told Harry, going a shade of red in the face at remembered anger, "I'll take the mountain troll."

"Last you left, they weren't speaking to you," James groaned. "So I suppose if you just have to put up with that for three months, it won't be too bad."

Harry kept quiet, knowing full well it was better not to say anything he was thinking about the Dursley's to this lot, and just mentally preparing more calming speeches about why they shouldn't kill them yet.

It took some time for all of the wizards to pass back through the barrier, as it would be kind of obvious if they all crowded out at once.

Despite the sudden dread, they all couldn't help but laugh a bit at that mental image.

While waiting, Ron mentioned how he wanted Harry to come over during the summer.

"Yes," all four of them said at once, glad Harry's friend didn't wait till another year to ask.

"Hell, please let him stay all summer," James begged.

Harry blinked, having an odd feeling about bars being ripped off of windows? Something involving Ron? He had no idea.

As people were passing by them, random people called out a farewell to Harry. Ron laughed and said that Harry was still famous, and Harry corrected not where he was headed to.

"Wish you had told them exactly why," Lily muttered.

"Why didn't you?" Remus demanded.

"I just made some snide comments every now and then, like that first day I met Ron," Harry

shrugged. He hadn't really believed that, whatever he said, he'd be taken away from the Dursley's, so he never thought to tell anyone. What good would it do?

It was their turn to exit then, and the first people they spotted was Ron's family, including his younger sister who squealed in delight at seeing Harry Potter.

Lily rolled her eyes, how young was this kid again?

Harry however was smiling indulgently, like he thought that was the cutest thing in the world. Odd though, since back then he'd just felt embarrassed.

Mrs. Weasley greeted Harry with warmth, asking if he had a busy year. Harry's only response was to say, very.

"Why do you over exaggerate every punishment you should have gotten, but can't be bothered in these moments," James laughed.

Harry thanked her for the sweater, but then he spotted the Dursleys, as outraged as ever to see the nerve of Harry existing.

"I can't believe the nerve of your ugly face," Remus grumbled.

Mrs. Weasley greeted them as well, asking if they were Harry's family.

"Hardly," Lily muttered scathingly.

"Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid are better family than that lot of slugs," James hissed.

Vernon's reply was only in a manner of speaking, then he turned to Harry and told the boy to hurry up, he didn't want to wait all day on him.

Remus half considered it a bleeding miracle the man had even shown up to get Harry, considering the last time he'd only dropped him off as a cruel joke.

Sirius puzzled over something, thinking back to those awful first three chapters when he had felt like a murderous psychopath, and came to the suddenly odd conclusion that Vernon had never actually called Harry by his name. He had just called him boy at every opportunity. It seemed a miracle Harry even knew his name. Well the first chapter said Vernon never even learned Harry's name, maybe this was implying he never had. Sirius couldn't decide whether to laugh at the man's stupidity, or crack the man's head open and let all the dust out.

Harry still hung back for a last word with his friends, Ron promising he'd see him over the holidays, Hermione wishing him well with an uncertain look over at Harry's Uncle, clearly shocked at how unpleasant he as.

"You haven't heard the worst of it," Lily snapped.

Harry suddenly got a huge grin as he promised that he would have fun over the holidays,

"Why?" James asked, "cause you know how to curse Dudley now?"

Harry just chuckled, that momentary memory of something bad happening gone in an instant to be replaced by what he had been feeling then.

because the Dursleys didn't know he wasn't allowed to use magic outside of school. He was going to have a lot of fun with his cousin this summer.

"Oh," they all said brightly.

Lily frowned in concern at once, as she knew full well Petunia did know that rule, as she

constantly reminded it of her whenever the slightest odd thing happened. Hopefully Harry

wouldn't get into too much trouble because of it...

"Okay, that could be some potential for a lot of fun," James said, an evil grin spreading across his face.

"That's the end of this book," Remus said, glancing down at the last two words.

"Well I think it's time for dinner then," Lily said getting to her feet.

"I can help," Harry offered, following her into the kitchen

"No dear, I won't even let your father help, this is my thing. Go badger the boys with fifty

questions I know you've been holding back."

Harry smiled at her, but did as he was told, walking back in to find them all laughing about some of the pranks they had pulled back in school, but there was a dark undertone to it. They seemed to be focusing on the ones that had disastrous, unplanned side effects. Several students seemed to have wound up in the hospital wing because of them.

Harry didn't want to think about the Dursley's when he was in such good company now, so he threw out the first question that came to mind. "So about that awful Quidditch match?" Harry began cautiously.

"Really?" James laughed. "You want to bring that up now? After everything we've just read?"

Harry merely shrugged, as far as he was concerned, he was alright. He didn't even feel any lingering trauma from this, which didn't bode well for his mental health, or this gut feeling that this wasn't his only deadly encounter. So he did what he had been watching his family do this whole time, deflect. "Yes," he said simply.

Sirius sighed and began, "Alright, yeah, you've earned it. So it was my fifth year right, and just before the game I was mad and distracted, which is probably why I didn't notice that my little brother, Regulus, was a Seeker for the Slytherin team, in his second year! Scrawny little git, I wouldn't have believed he could stay on a broom that was almost as big as him."

Shaking his head in remembrance, though with his mixed feelings about his brother he really couldn't decide if they were fond or not, he kept going, "anyways, so after I had basically ignored him for the past two years, I didn't see any reason to change that now, and the game went on as usual. That is until James went to make our fifth goal in a row, and one of the Slytherin beaters on the team lost it. I'll admit, I was distracted by watching Regulus, so I didn't see him, guy's name was Runcorn I think, big ol' sixth year. Yeah anyways, he knocked a bludger right at James, who didn't have the quaffle at the time mind you, and I did what any beater would and dove down to intercept."

Sirius paused again, frowning a bit and saying, "Don't rightly remember the rest of it, since that's the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital wing."

"Well we do," Remus said, looking pale as he glared at his friend, who clearly looked like he wanted the story to end there. Knowing that wasn't fair, he turned to Harry and finished, "Sirius was coming in from one direction to block the Bludger, and Regulus came in from the other, he must have seen the snitch or something. James tried to cut away, but having three things pelting him at once, it's no wonder he collided with one of them, which happened to be Regulus. All three boys managed to dodge impact however, but then Runcorn blew the second Bludger in their direction, and still disoriented from that three way near knock out, one of the three didn't have time to move out of the way..." he trailed off, wincing in disgust.

"It was awful," James agreed, "that thing hit Sirius in the back of the head, and he fell nearly forty feet to the ground. Everyone was distracted by calling a foul on both teams."

"I thought he was dead," Remus said, looking like he was going to pass out while looking his friend full in the face, "I didn't even realize he wasn't in the air any more, and when I saw him on the ground below-"

"But I'm not," Sirius said loudly, mimicking Harry earlier, but hey it had worked then right.

"Spent a while in the hospital wing, and then I was as good as new."

Lily was looking genuinely upset for all of them, not having attended this game, she couldn't even imagine the trauma of seeing that now. She had been listening in from the kitchen, rather curious to hear that story herself.

Harry smiled around at them, as he decided to let the story go. His family clearly didn't like revisiting the incident. Yet this shared memory only reinforced what he knew for a fact back when he had first woken up and laid eyes on these people. They were all loving, caring, and his. Nothing would ever change that.

HPHPHP

Finally done! ...redone? Not the point! I'll have the next book up within the week, and before we

know it we'll be right on track again in the third book! Thank you all so much to infinity for your

constant support of this, it never would have made a comeback without you all.

Thoughts on Philosopher's Stone:

The first book of this series does an excellent job right off the bat of showing you exactly what you're getting for the next seven, yes still seven I'll get to that latter, books. Whimsical fun mixed with a healthy dose of 'this is some real shit you need to learn to survive.' Magic is only introduced and teased until you hit chapter 6, and even then you only get the real life experience of what's been building up in 8. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is such a fascinating space I swear you could throw the most boring person in the world, like Vernon for instance, in there and you'd still find something interesting in that school. Harry being the focal point really makes you feel like you're there, because he's not much of an opinionated person. While traveling through him you don't get his impressions, you just see what he does and you gather your own opinion of

it. The characters are introduced at an excellent pace, it quickly sets up their character, but then at the story progresses you realize there's more depth to them and you get to watch them interact and change throughout the year. Even subtle future plot points are laid out that you won't even notice until your second read through. Fourth favorite in the series, 10/10 for me, would recommend to anyone of any age.

*I couldn't find a way to work it into the book, but the reason Dumbledore flew instead of getting there quicker was because of Fudge. At the beginning of the book Hagrid mentioned how Dumbledore got messages from the man all the time, and Dumbledore was more than tired of having to arrive and help the man, so he was dragging his feet if you will to go up there. They don't even meet Fudge until the second book, and they don't see his true colors until the fifth, and by that time this really wouldn't have a reason to cross their mind. Found that interesting.

Works inspired by this one

Thin Pages Book 1: Philosopher's Stone by Queen_Of_Creating

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!

[otdderamin]

Transcript: Wednesday Club Ep19: Love is Love

Looking for some good Queer content? The best Wednesday Club was Episode 19: Love is Love! with Marc Andreyko. They talked about the Love is Love anthology made in memory of the Pulse shooting and talked about the history of queer representation in comics.

This is also the episode where Taliesin and Amy came out as bi. It was so soft and empathetic and empowering the whole way through that I think it gave them a push of confidence to say it.

Interesting history, they pulled this VOD after this aired and edited out that coming out. I suspect someone felt they got caught up in the moment and weren't actually sure they did want that out there. But word spread anyway and a few weeks later it was quietly restored.

The only depressing thing about this episode is how hopeful they were for the future and how much everything's gone to shit in the two years since it came out.

Official Twitch VOD, Bootlegged YouTube VOD

 If you can handle the sorrow, I really can't recommend "Love is Love" enough. It's one of the most beautiful books I've ever read. A lot of it is heartbreaking, but there are also a lot of uplifting pieces about pride and joy and love, and those were so special.

 This episode is so fascinating because there's are dozens and dozens of little ways Taliesin's subtext was "I'm queer," but it was such a surprise for that subtext to be text at the end. I think it's greatly affected how I read his queer coding in acting.

Reading Taliesin himself in this episode of Wednesday Club is a major reason why I feel somewhat confident in my analysis about the queer subtext he shows in Caduceus (and Percy). He's very deliberate about his subtext, I think the joke is always that it's genuine.

"Well, those are then the Schrodinger's representations which are 'Are they? Aren't they? We're not going to say.' [Stage whisper] But they are."

I think about this quote all the time. What he says sideways is deliberate, and something he personally delights in reading into. This is, after all, him playing out people in the way he would interact, not really for other people. We don't ask straight people to tell us they're straight, they just show it and we all assume it's true. I strongly suspect that's a freedom Taliesin looks for in queer portrayal.

One of the dynamics going on here that's SO INTERESTING is how apparent the age gap is between Marc and Taliesin and Amy. I don't know Amy's age, but I'd guess she's a decade younger. Marc and Taliesin are so much more okay with clunky, subtext, and or tragic representation.

Partly this is just a difference of Taliesin liking sad stories & Amy liking happy ones, but the difference is so much more magnified in this episode. Her standards for what makes good representation are noticeably higher, I'd guess partly because she grew up in a better world.

 One of the books they mentioned is "My Brother's Husband" by Gengoroh Tagame. there are two volumes and it's such an outstandingly soft story. One of the best comics I've ever read. Yaichi and his daughter Kana get a visit from Mike, his brother's husband, after his brother died. It's about Yaichi trying to get over his homophobia and teach Kana to be a better, more accepting person than he was. Kana just accepts Mike straight away and thinks he's amazing.

 Here is a selection of comic picks from the episode (by no means all of them). Here's Amy's crowdsourced queer comics recommendation thread, which is full of excellent reads, some of which they talked about.

 4:45 Marc: "I'm glad [the Pulse shooter] is dead because he did a horrible, unforgivable thing, but part of me wishes someone had been there to give him a hug, you know?"

[I've been thinking about this sentiment and grace for two years.]

 10:54 Marc: "We need to hold our government responsible with the same passion we do when Marvel has Spider-Man's costume wrong in an issue."

 0:16:08 Taliesin: "It is a thing that happens to me occasionally on the internet, and this book brought this back up pretty significantly, and I don't do this all the time 'cause I only have so much emotional energy for a human being, especially, you know, times being what they are. I've only got so much of my brain power before I turn into a quivering mess."

0:16:25 Marc: "I can't wait for the day we can wake up and not be angry."

Taliesin: "I know. I'm so…"

Marc: "I'm so tired of being mad!"

0:16:31 Taliesin: "I take moments every morning, and of course being on the internet you get a lot of- there's hate and trolling that come my way, and a lot of it is nothing I didn't hear in high school, nothing that I'm not use to, you know, I've got a pretty thick skin, and I don't delve into the comments sections of videos or anything like that because I'm, you know, sane. But every now and then some body gets through and I just kind of want to have a moment of, like, I wish- and I want to test the theory that if I just find this person, I grab them for a second, and like, "Dude, are you alright? Like, do you need therapy because I'm in therapy and it's fucking great, and what can I-" I feel like, "When was the last time anyone asked you if you're just okay, if you need something 'cause, like, what the fuck, man?"

…

0:17:18 Taliesin: "I wish I had the energy for all these kids. I mean, like, it's so- and in real life I can do this, and I've had those moments in real life where you see someone losing their shit and you're like, 'Do you just need a fucking drink and someone to listen to you talk about your shit and not tell you that you're being, like-'"

Amy: "Or fewer drinks."

Taliesin: "I mean, like, often times just sit down, and I promise I'm not going to make fun of you, I'm not going to tell you you're being weak, tell me, like, what, man, what hurts?"

 0:17:59 Marc: "I don't think most people are evil. I think that there's a percentage of people that occupy the White House that are pure evil…"

Taliesin: "I've had a couple roommates that I'm not even making a joke that are definitely into that spectrum, but most people are just lonely and sad."

Marc: "Well, most people want to live their life, be happy, and be left alone, and I think for me it all boils down to education is the key because when you have- when you're not educated, you're easily scared and when you're easily scared you look for scape goats. It's what one political party has been making their hay on for a number of years."

 31:27 Marc: "We're all the same. We come up with things as a species to divide us when we're actually 99% the same. And we just let that 1% get in the way of everything."

 36:01 Taliesin: "I started to figure out that this was the beginning of a process. And I was starting to notice, 'This is going to lead to the types of characters I want to see in my fiction. And I started breaking down this formula of there's things that you have to do in the momentum of pop culture to get the kind of characters you want. And this was one of the thing that you have to do. And I broke it down to metaphorical representation with books like the X-Men where there are no—there were almost no gay characters in the X-Men." Marc Andreyko: "Or Peppermint Patty, or Schroder."

Taliesin: "Well, those are then the Schrodinger's representations which are 'Are they? Aren't they? We're not going to say.' [Stage whisper] But they are.

"But we have the metaphorical, we have the Schrodinger, we hate the stereotypes, which are the these are the things people think they know about these people."

Marc: "The gay hairdresser, the black drug dealer…"

Taliesin: "Then you have the buddyism, which is you have the established characters going, 'Some of my best friends.' And then we can just have a character where this is part of the tapestry. Once we've gone through all of this stuff so that everybody has gotten it out of their system, we've kind of sifted the pop culture to the point that now you can just do it."

Marc: "But that's not just limited to LGBT."

Taliesin: "No, that's any."

Marc: You look at female characters, you look at African American characters, and what's interesting about the LGBT experience now is it's taken 100 years for Black characters, it's taken 100 years for women characters, the LGBT representation- In my lifetime- if you told me 20 years ago that the Supreme Court would say that marriage is a right, I would have said, 'No way.'"

Taliesin: "No."

Amy: "No way."

Marc: "If you had told me there was going to be a gay-straight alliance at my high school, where my graduating class was 1000 people, 99% of the them I'd say, 'No.' My high school reached out to me after the book came out to send copies to their library. The learning curve for LGBT- we have gotten the privilege of having a very accelerated learning curve on the backs of other minorities who are still struggling to get ahead."

Taliesin: "We got to live- you actually get to live to see the work pay off. Which is rare in human history.

Marc: "As you say, that's just the way it starts out. It starts with exotic, then it becomes noble savage, then it becomes villain, then it becomes minstrel, then it becomes best friend, then it becomes lead. That's just the evolutionary trail."

 54:32 Taliesin: "Culture is not a rocket ship. We all don't get on the rocket ship to the planet culture and go up to the moon. Culture is like life: it is chaotic, it is violent, it is hungry… It is not normal for everything to just keep getting better all at the same time. It's normal for everything to get better over a period of the long game. In any internal point, chaos—"

Marc: "Well, Love is Love, a tragedy made that book come to life."

Taliesin: "That is the soil in which these things get planted, sadly."

Amy: "But that kid who graduates high school [because the book encouraged them when they thought they couldn't do it], who knows what happens."

 0:55:04 Matt: "We've got Blackmarket Bingo asking, 'What does Pride mean to each of you individually?'"

0:55:11 Marc: "Well, pride to me is a loaded word because, as a writer, I think 'pride,' I think 'hubris,' I think pride can be a detriment. There's pride with a lowercase p and there's Pride with a capital P. I think, for me, Pride in the LGBT sense of the word is lack of shame, is owning who you are, and not apologizing for who you are."

Taliesin: "Personal honesty."

Marc: "And being a good person who's an honest person. If you're an honest person and you live your life by the only direction we need as people: treat people the way you want to be treated. I don't care if you're gay, straight, Black, white, Republican, liberal, conservative, whatever, if you treat people the way you want to be treated that is living Pride because you should be proud of us not yourself; you should be proud of the change you can affect to make the world a better place. And I know that sounds like fortune cookies or Opera, or Yanla (sp?) changed my life or something like that, but it is very true. So, a lot of these clichés are become cliché because they are very true. And I think if you just try and live your life honestly and be nice to people. Hold the door, let someone in in traffic, you know, talk to the old lady in line at the grocery store, you never know what difference that's going to make. You never know how that's going to change the course of someone's life, so why not?"

…

0:56:48 Taliesin: "The notion of, 'We're all in this together.' And I will say Pride for me has always been about… and I got a lot of, well, for various reason I got a lot of crap as a kid, but one of the things I got crap about was this notion from some people, this was the weird one, that I was somehow putting effort into being this kind of person. That this took effort, that I was somehow pushing forward a pretense, and I just kind of had to do the, "No, this is actually…"

Marc: 'Who has the energy?"

Taliesin: "Who has the energy to pretend to be this weird and awkward! This is just me letting go and if every- like-"

Marc: "I'm not Andy Kaufman, this is all real."

Taliesin: "This is not an act! this is just- I mean, occasionally it's curated, which is different, especially this being the internet, but like, just the notion that if we all are- and the honesty that I was talking about, it was not honesty to other people necessarily, but just waking up that morning and being the person you feel like being and then just treating everybody the way- and just finding that communication between real people, not people trying to live up to some notion of who they think they should be."

0:57:50 Marc: "Well, once again I'm going to circle this back to a quote Patty Jenkins said, she talked about how the word cheesy is banned on her sets because she said, 'When did we become afraid of genuine emotion and sincerity.' And I'm guilty of this; we've all become too cool for school; we've all become the kids in Heathers and all that. And that's kind of why we're at where we're at now: We're afraid to cry, we're afraid to let down our walls, and I can't even read the quote because I start bawling, but she talks about we're in a really difficult place as a species right now. We should be embracing sincerity and genuine emotion and that sort of thing. We shouldn't be afraid of it anymore. And I just responded to her, I tweeted back, 'Fuck yes!'

 1:09:28 Marc: "There's something to be said for the hidden and the metaphor, you know?"

Taliesin: "Yes!"

Marc: "It's great that there's so much acceptance for LGBT characters and LGBT people today, but part of me wishes it was still back when I was in my 20s when you would get- you would see someone as a party and be like, [knowing nod] 'Yeah, I know,' and it was just unsaid or your would know that Peppermint Patty and Marcy are going to have a bed and breakfast in Oregon when they're adults."

Taliesin: "Obviously."

Marc: "And all that secret handshake stuff was… It's immeasurably better now and I'm putting this in… I would never want it to change, but there was something that the not knowing, the not having everyone be in on the joke, was nice because it also gave us an ownership of ourselves where it was the club we could control, we were the bouncer at the door of this club, and of course, ironically, homogenization is a good thing and to an extent of everyone being missed up, but there's something to be said about the subtlety of that, and I think a lot of times the subtlety and the metaphors are far more impactful than the direct."

 1:15:41 Taliesin: "You have to be open to new ideas and you have to have faith in your ideas, if you think they're good ideas, that they're not… if they're good enough ideas, the world is not going to break them in half. They don't need to have a fence built around them. If you have good ideas and philosophies about the world, the world's not going to break them, it's going to enforce them.

 1:20:10 Marc: "'Cause I always say that being gay is a huge part of who I am, but it's also an utterly insignificant part of who I am. We're all, once again, we're all have the same day to day struggles."

 1:54:18 Amy: "I don't talk about it much, but I'm the B in LGBT, for the record. Doesn't tend to come up a lot."

Taliesin: "Are we going there?"

Amy: "Well, I am."

Taliesin: "Yeah, I am, too. Fuck it."

 Taliesin looked at her with intense trepidation after she said it. Worried about what that step might mean, but also what it said about him if he did that whole episode about Pride and but was too scared to show it. And then wrote it off with a brief shrug and "Fuck it."

If you enjoy my work, consider supporting me through ko-fi, Patreon, or my shop. I'm severely disabled and it all helps justify my time spent on this project. Learn more about how and why to support me, including links.

[rosemaidenvixen]

You are my Sunshine

Chapter 3: Five part 3

Ao3

 Barbara hadn’t slept a wink. She had a kink in her back and one of her arms had gotten pinned by Jim’s weight and gone numb. Her legs were cramped into position after being curled up on a too-small mattress for hours.

 She was in a nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from.

 The logical part of her knew that ignoring Jim’s condition wouldn’t make it go away, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t tempted. Even after racking her brain all night she couldn't think of any good way to protect Jim and keep his condition a secret. The only two options she had come up with were to immediately move somewhere as isolated as possible; or hide Jim, lie to the police, and pretend that he really had disappeared. Neither plan was feasible or practical and both would be the end of life as they knew it.

 Despite how terrible her either plan was, Barbara knew that she had to start implementing one of them. The consequences for Jim would be dire if she didn’t.

 Even knowing that, she still couldn’t force herself to get up and take action. Barbara desperately wanted to not think about the unavoidable consequences of Jim’s transformation for just a little longer.

 When she thought about the terrible things she was going to have to keep her son safe, it was almost enough to make her start sobbing all over again.

 Barbara was trying to summon the will to get out of bed for the upteenth time when something inexplicable happened for the second time in twenty four hours.

 Jim shrank right in her arms.

 Shock froze her for a moment before she scrambled upright, desperate to see what had happened to Jim now.

 Barbara blinked repeatedly, lightheaded from sitting up so quickly, not quite believing what she was seeing.

 Jim, soft and small and normal Jim, stared straight back at her, looking confused and now positively drowning in his father’s t-shirt.

 “I….I’m me again,”

 A jubilant smile slowly spread across Jim’s face “I’M ME AGAIN!”

 Somehow Barbara still had enough tears left to cry, only this time from joy.

 The nightmare was over.

 All the worries, all the fears, all the dread of what might happen to Jim melted away. Whatever the bath bomb had done to him, its effects had worn off. It was the only explanation she could think of.

 Jim giggled and jumped on the mattress, ecstatic at being back in his own skin. Barbara gave a warbly laugh at his antics before glancing at her watch.

 6:17am

 Well now was a good a time as any to start the day. She snatched Jim up during one of his celebratory circuits around the bed and brought him in for a tight hug “Time for breakfast kiddo, How do you feel about pancakes?”

 “Yay pancakes!”

 Half an hour later, Jim sat at the table, wolfing down pancakes that had to be at least eighty percent syrup. Barbara hung up the phone, having just finished calling both of them in sick for the day. After last night’s trauma, both of them needed a mental health break.

 Jim appeared to be bouncing back just fine, the resiliency of youth no doubt, but she didn’t want to push him.

 “Hey mom?”

 Barbara turned to address him “Yes, what is it?”

 He shuffled pancake crumbs and syrup around with his fork “What….happened to me last night?”

 “Well Jim, I’m not quite sure,” she replied “I think that something in the bath bomb changed you for a little bit,”

 “But why?”

 Barbara bit her lip, how to give him answers when she had none “Sorry sweetie, I really don’t know,”

 “Oh….” Jim pondered that for a while “So where’d the bath bomb come from?”

 She took a seat across from him “I bought it at an estate sale last summer,” she paused, thinking of the best way to explain further “An estate sale is when someone dies and their family decides to sell all of their stuff by letting people come into their house and pick out things to buy,”

  “So the bath bomb used to belong to someone that’s dead now?”

 “Yes, that’s right,”

 Jim gave a small frown at the unsatisfactory answer “So where’d the dead person get it?”

 “I don’t know,” Barbara did her best to keep her tone light “I guess it’s just a mystery,”

 Honestly she didn’t even know who the estate sale had been for, she and James had dropped in on impulse while driving back from getting the car fixed. Barbara didn't know how or why someone would have anything like the bath bomb that had changed Jim, and quite frankly she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

 The bath bomb in question had been purchased as part of a package deal, two dollars for a whole grocery bag full of bath bombs. She’d used some of the other ones from the bag over the past few months and they’d been perfectly normal. There was no way of knowing if the bath bomb that had changed Jim was the only one of its kind or not. But either way, after last night, there was no way in hell she was letting any of the rest near water.

 Jim didn’t appear happy about the lack of information, but he accepted that Barbara simply didn’t know the answers to his questions. They finished their breakfast in comfortable silence. Cleaning  and wrapping up their morning routine at a leisurely pace.

 Early in the afternoon, they took a break from relaxing at home and ventured out for a trip to the library. Barbara left Jim to his own devices in the children’s section. The sort of books she was after were somewhere else entirely.

 She was tempted to forget that this whole ugly episode ever happened. Never speak of it or acknowledging the strange form Jim had taken ever again. But part of her refused to let it go.

 After all, she still had no idea how or why the the bath bomb caused this to happen, who’s to say it couldn’t happen again?

 Her eyes darted back and forth between the mythology and the science sections. Where to even begin? Before last night she had never thought bath bomb induced transformations were possible, let alone read books about them. The only option seemed to be to cast a wide net and hope for the best.

 Approaching the shelf, Barbara started browsing the stacks and pulling off anything that looked halfway promising.

 Once she was done, she retrieved Jim from the Kid’s Corner and brought him and all the books he’d chosen to the front desk to check out. Book bags in hand, they headed home, making a side trip to their favorite takeout place to pick up dinner.

 Later in the evening, dinner eaten and boxes discarded, Jim was watching cartoons while Barbara sat at the kitchen table, pouring over the books she’d gotten earlier.

 So far, all the information she had found was frustratingly unhelpful. Right off the bat the science books proved to be no help at all. None of them described any kind species that resembled what Jim had turned into, let alone mention any kind of transformation.

 The mythology and folklore books weren’t much better. Some descriptions of mythic creatures lined up pretty darn close to Jim’s changed state, but there were always a few characteristics that prevented her from categorizing Jim’s blue shape as on thing or another.  

 Gargoyle currently topped the list of possibilities she had going, but even that hypothesis had some glaring flaws. Namely, should couldn’t figure out whether a supernatural creature had inspired the architectural feature or vice versa.

 Furthermore, for every type of cryptid she read about, descriptions varied wildly from source to source. Every book she picked up had a different idea of what made a Gargoyle, Minotaur, Yeti, or Troll. Barbara was positively drowning mythological knowledge. It was impossible to separate descriptions of actual creatures that had inspired these fables from the whimsy of iron age story tellers.

 The descriptions they had on transformations were even worse. The transformations described in books ranged from semi-plausible to highly doubtful to completely ridiculous. Quite frankly, she wasn’t sure where bath bombs fit on that scale.

 Maybe it was time to throw in the towel and mix herself a drink..

 An ear splitting scream rang out from the next room, shattering her focus. Barbara shot out of her seat, knocking her chair to the floor.

 Jim.

 She dashed into the next room only to be instantly paralyzed with shock. Jim was standing in front of the hallway mirror, his eyes locked onto his reflection.

 He looked exactly the same as he did when she had found him in the woods the night before. His clothes looked painfully tight over his longer, thicker limbs, and Barbara was certain that if she touched his blue skin it would have the same stony feel that it did last night.

 Icy tendrils of fear snaked into her chest.

 This wasn’t over, not even close.

 Jim hadn’t moved, his eyes still fixed on the mirror, too stunned to react. It only now occurred to her that he had never seen his reflection last night.

 How had this happened? Had the effects of the bath bomb not worn off, but instead, laid dormant only to return in full force later. If so, what had caused it, why now, why hadn’t Jim changed back at some other time?

 The window caught her eye; no one could be allowed to see this. Barbara darted over to the window and fiddled with the blinds, shutting out the fading light of the sunset.

 Wait….sunset….

 Jim had turned back to normal early in the morning, about the same time the sun would have risen, and when he changed just a moment ago, the sun had just gone down.

 It wasn’t certain, but Barbara had a gut feeling that she’d figured out something important. For whatever outlandish, unnatural reason, Jim’s transformation was connected to sunrise and sunset.

 “....mom….” Jim said softly “....what’s happening to me….”

 That was the million dollar question wasn’t it; if his transformation was tied to sunrise and sunset how long would it go on. Would it eventually stop? Would each change be the same or would Jim be altered more with every passing night? What if the day ever came that he didn’t turn back to normal again?

 She gave him the only answer she could.

 “I don’t know sweetie,”

 The blinds shut against prying eyes, Barbara went over to Jim and gathered him up into her arms, trying to give comfort in place of explanations.

 The nightmare wasn’t over, it was just getting started.

 “I just don’t know,”

[biscuitcrow]

So...thoughts about the Homestuck epilogues under the cut

I picked [Candy] first because number 1, no way I’m eating raw meat and number two, it seemed more interesting to go against *cough* Rose’s advice I’m done following her. ‘Meat or Candy’? Iconic. Enjoyed the less than subtle symbolism.

After reading both endings I’m actually happy I read [Candy] first. Even though some people say to read Meat first, reading Candy really makes the situational irony count, specifically the Obama spiel and like, the parallel timeline concept is really engaging for me because you can compare the constants like Jane’s reign and Karkat’s resistance while observing the little fluctuations but you can also see how they interact or are similar.

My personal favourite is [Candy]. Meat feels direct, more linear, like ‘this is the way this is going now.’ but Candy is basically, well I’m not sure if it is but it feels like an offshoot with its lack of Relevancy, which means it reads more like ‘what could have been’ which is really interesting to contemplate because on the surface it feels good, fluffy, but it’s also hollow? But it's not written as if hollow is bad, you know? Hollow is not good, or bad, just, well hollow. It’s written as if the conflicts are very blown up from the character’s perspective, which is is, but if you take a step back its honestly laughable. But like if I remember correctly, somewhere somehow Rose said she had never been this happy? When I read that I honestly thought she was drugged, but if she was really that happy then I guess that’s how the story frames hollow as being a neutral thing? Which I agree with so it’s refreshing, because we get a lot of content saying that being substanceless or meaningless is bad. But I feel this timeline approaches it as a trade off in this case probably happiness for relevancy. It’s a bittersweet ending.

Can’t really remember but I feel like that was the contrast between Vriska and (Vriska) in the original Homestuck.

Also I was really happy to see Vriska come back!! Oh boy am I ready for Vriska. The Gamzee thing was really weird and distasteful, frankly, I did not like that part at all, but at least she regretted it so I was all like WHEW man.

So Meat was meatier in terms of plot, but the tradeoff was a bunch of people dying. I’ll discount the edginess because it didn’t really feel that way to me. But I do feel like the deaths in the battle were a little rushed over, like it was just a fun montage of deaths, and I’m not sure if that’s intentional. If it was then I can only guess that it was written for their deaths to feel inconsequential in the grand scheme of things? Candy is more personal-feeling but Meat seems to have themes of for the greater good, whatever that can be defined as. Apparently relevancy, cough Rose. Oh yeah, Candy was also more subtle in my eyes. I relish subtlety. It wasn’t really that subtle, but I still think it was more subtle than Meat.

What I liked about [Candy] was all of the above, and also the cute Roxy/Calliope. Oh wait one big thing. The Jade/Dave/Karkat thing. In my opinion, that was a huge clusterfuck and it read that way and I sure hope being read as awkward and unnatural was intentional because if it was oh boy was that unnaturalness good. I enjoyed that tone greatly. Got kind of mad at Jade, pitied her for a little bit, then got annoyed. All the Dave and John bro times were really good too I liked them. When Dave flash stepped away from that Awkward Cafe Meet I felt that. Your mom felt that. Obama felt that.

Also I liked that it broke my heart with domestic issues. Small things can be big things even if they’re small in the grand scheme of things.

What I didn’t like about it was the kids. And also kid Vriska. That’s just unsettling to me. I got used to it after a while but well, if there was a way to take them out smoothly perhaps I would. The Roxy/Calliope low-key-break-up was also kind of weird for me? So was the John/Roxy, but I think John felt a little of that weirdness and rushedness too so that’s a plus.

And the Dave/Jade marriage. But I didn’t hate it entirely, because it brought out the idea of settling for something more clearly. Like… the notion of whether settling is like, a thing. Okay, it’s difficult to put this into contextless words but I’m sure you get it.

I also can’t believe they let Gamzee out of the fridge. Who thought this was a good idea. Which actually brings me to another thing I like about it the whole spew about his ‘redemption arc’ even though he clearly didn’t redeem himself. That was the point, I think. Words don’t equate actions. This was minor, but also the whole xenophobia thing. I thought that both sides had good points to be honest. Possible mockery of political correctness. I was glad how neither party was completely crazy or didn’t make sense. Both parties had words held weight, so to speak.

What I liked about [Meat] was well, the plot. I know I complained about this before but that’s all it’s got and it wasn’t half-bad so I’ll give it some credit. Oh, but it was good at the shift from narrative text to speaker text. You know the one. That was fun. And so was all the Dirk after that. I’m happy we got to see more of Dirk.

Also the focus on the political power of Jake’s ass is hilarious to me. And how dense he is.

ALL the Davekat. Oh, joy, don’t we all love watching two disasters figure out how much of a disaster he is and then guess how much disaster the other one is? Not as much weird Jade stuff.

The manipulation everywhere. Fun to spot. Fun to read. Fun to break your heart.

The John/Terezi thing was cute, but I think I might have preferred it in Candy. It was more open-ended in Candy. Everything was more open-ended in Candy, I think? It felt that way to me, and I like open-ended things. But those were the themes they were trying to push, like the contrast in the existence of a free will, that happiness and relevancy are two different things, something about personal and impersonal meaning, ultimate knowledge, settling or chasing after a possibly unattainable ideal, certain sacrifices, trade-offs, and definitely metafiction.

I’m awfully dense so I could be missing the mark on the Real Overarching Themes here but feel free to enlighten me if you’ve even made it up to this point.

Also, I sorta remember one line about someone saying something about when you have a perfect world it is natural to turn to inconsequential made-up conflicts. Interesting hot take because I compared it with 17776 whose entire premise is that in a utopia where everyone’s needs are met everyone just plays games like football.

The other relationships that got less screen time on Candy was also aired here so that was really nice because I definitely wanted to see people like Calliope, Dirk, Dave, Karkat, Kayana, and Meenah.

Wait actually right… now that I’m thinking about it, what was the point of the whole political fiasco in this one. I thought the focus should have been on the big battle in canon. Which I suppose it was, but seriously wait did I miss something? Is it like a foil to the big bad battle Lord English battle? Screentime for Jake’s ass? Jane’s diabolical Schemes? Pushing the political correctness troll xenophobia theme agenda?

Also hilarious that Lord English kept eating John’s hammers. Not so hilarious when John refused to let go like seriously you are committing a stupid please John look at that big gold tooth in your torso now. At least you’re more valuable to the economy now right.

What I didn’t like about Meat was that it felt fast-paced, like the bits that I wanted for it to have more exposition was too short and rushed over. I didn’t really have that feeling with Candy even though I think there were more timeskips. But at least it was explicitly stated as a timeskip. Neither did I feel the emotional investment in the characters, not that much, since it was fast-paced and plot driven. I didn’t like how Obama wasn’t in it physically. Just kidding. Also more linear and closed, as previously mentioned.

Actually now that I think about it maybe I didn’t like Candy over Meat that much. Both have their merits and weaknesses. Maybe I like it just a little bit more because it was the first one I read and it had Obama.

Okay, after I read this again in the future I’ll probably sound really pretentious and also dumb at the same time but it’s okay! I just like analysing the shit out of content of dubious quality just let me have things. I’ve seen some people say they were lacklustre, and their analysis has merit, but honestly I’m just happy there’s so much more to read. I’m just writing it down so I don’t forget, because I always do. If you made it to this point and got anything I missed or forgot to bring up or disagree with I would love to discuss it: shoot me a PM please! Alright that’s it folks I can’t wait to draw more fun stuff.

[patricia-von-arundel]

Shards of Life: Chapter 2

Rating: T

Summary: There is magic in the world - perhaps there always has been. But the world is changing. The wielding of magic is changing.

All of the chapters from Anna’s POV occur in the time between the end of Frozen: A Dark Retelling and Elsa’s leaving for Leisalla.

"That was so fun." Collapsing in the nearest chair, still trying to catch her breath, Anna, despite her exhaustion, still couldn’t hide a delighted grin. "I’m glad you’re back, Elsa."

Elsa’s expression - eyes flitting away, cheeks flushing, mouth curling into a self-conscious smile seemed to make it clear she knew Anna was talking about more than her physical return. "I think I was finally getting the hang of it, too!" "We can practice." And Anna could feel the muscles in her cheeks stretch and pull, the joy of it in her heart and her soul and her grin. Long shadows filled the sitting room - day fading, lamps not yet lit - but Anna was going to draw this time together on for as long as she could. Elsa was here, here and happy, and the world felt set to rights. Except - she searched the room, found him hovering around the door, hands in his pockets, closely examining the rug under his feet. “You can come in, you know.” Kristoff’s eyes found hers, then flickered to Elsa. “I really should probably get going, actually. It’s a long way home. I mean - if your majesty gives permission?” “Your majesty?" Anna burst out laughing. "How come I’m Anna and she’s your majesty?” But it was Elsa who answered, voice smooth and even: “Just one of life’s little mysteries.” She rose and approached Kristoff - and bowed to him, deep and respectful, before rising to offer him a warm smile. “So you’re my new ice master. I understand I have you to thank for my sister’s life. I am in your debt.” Kristoff looked surprised, but shook his head. “She took care of herself. The whole time. Uh, your majesty.” "Much as I enjoy Anna’s consternation, let’s try Elsa, okay?" She stepped back, held an arm out. "Please stay. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with you leaving so late." "We have plenty of rooms," Anna added. "But Sven-" “And we have stables.” Elsa caught her eye, gave her a look of pleased conspiracy, an unspoken mission accomplished, and it was all Anna could do to keep still, to not wriggle with sheer, overwhelming delight. The feeling was only made worse when Kristoff took a deep, visible breath - and finally fully entered the room. He let himself perch precariously on the edge of a chair, sitting hunched forward, large and uncomfortable. Anna ducked her head to hide her smile. After all the time he had spent huffing and sighing and rolling his eyes at her, up in the mountains, turnabout seemed like fair play. Besides, he needed to get used to this - to the castle, and to Elsa. Because she thought maybe he would like to continue spending time with her, and she with him, and those things were the center of her world, and she supposed they always would be. He might still be uncomfortable with both - the castle and Elsa - but he was here, making an effort. He had been out on the ice with them all afternoon. He had accepted Elsa’s offer of a new position, Anna’s accompanying offer of a new sled. He had kissed her. The kiss - she still wasn’t sure what to make of that. Her first kiss, and it had been wonderful, of course it had, and she still felt a funny little fluttery warmth in her stomach thinking about it. But she hadn’t expected it - not with Kristoff. She’d only known him for a couple of weeks, and she had yet to feel she understood him. Then again, if she considered what had happened last time she thought she understood someone, maybe being uncertain was for the best. And she was equally uncertain of Elsa, and she’d known - thought she’d known - Elsa her whole life. Inscrutable might be more common than she would have guessed. "Tell me about yourself," Elsa said - a valiant attempt at conversation, and one that forced Anna to hide another grin at the vaguely panicked look that came over Kristoff’s face. "Uh, well…" He ran a hand over the back of his head and looked to the walls, the window, the floor, Anna - anywhere, clearly, but at Elsa. "There’s… really not much to tell. I sell ice. That’s pretty much it." “No, it isn’t,” Anna said - because it wasn’t, and he was selling himself short, and she wouldn’t allow it. She turned to her sister: “Elsa, he knows everything about the mountains, and ways through the forest, and finding food and safe places to sleep, and-” “Anna…” But she talked over him: “And Elsa, he lived with the men of the mountains! The trolls!” At that, Elsa started visibly, turning wide eyes back to Kristoff “Do you… you have…” She looked frightened - and Anna felt the subtle shift in temperature, something she never would have noticed, before. Elsa clearly noticed as well; she grimaced and fisted her hands in her lap. “I’m not one of them,” Kristoff said quickly. “They just… took me in. When I was younger.” “Ah,” Elsa said - and no more. The silence that fell was more than little bit awkward. Anna waited as long as she could - looking from Elsa, who was staring fixedly at nothing, to Kristoff, who appeared to be memorizing the patterns in the wallpaper. She allowed herself an internal sigh. This was clearly not going to be a simple task. “Everyone seemed to have a lot of fun today,” she said. “Even Kristoff. Didn’t you?” He shrugged. “It was all right.” Her next sigh was external, but she pressed on. “So, uh… what are we doing tomorrow?” “Working,” Elsa said, just as Kristoff said, “Back to work.” And Anna was left - for once in her life - speechless. Just like that - the adventure was over, everything went back to the way it had always been? Except it wouldn’t be. It couldn’t be. The gates were open, Elsa had promised they would stay open. But all those days - piling up again before her, days to weeks, weeks to months, months to years. There had been so much to anticipate - the coronation, the parties, the people - and then everything that came after, terror and pain but also excitement, exhilaration, freedom such as she had never known. What was she supposed to do now, after everything had come, once more, full circle, back to the castle, back to everyday life? Of course it had all been temporary - that shouldn’t come as a surprise. But the spoken reality of it: it still hit like another blow to her heart. Nonetheless, she attempted a smile. “Of course. I should have thought.” But the smile must have shown false - Elsa’s brow creased. “But we can…” She hesitated, took a deep breath. “We can… meet for dinner? If you’d like.” There was no way Anna could temper her response - she felt her eyes widen, her lips stretch into a grin. “Yes! Of course. That would be great!” She looked back to the discomfited figure now staring vaguely at the ceiling. “You’ll come too, won’t you? Dinner here, tomorrow?” Back to Elsa: “I mean, sorry, is that all right?” Elsa’s smile certainly appeared genuine; she brought up a hand to hide it, then nodded. Back to Kristoff: “You’ll come, right? Please?” “Uh… I guess. If I’m back.” “From where?” “I… I usually help. With the harvesting.” “Harvesting?” “Ice. I harvest ice.” “Oh.” Harvesting - she had thought it was a word for plants. And while she had been vaguely aware that Kristoff’s profession involved ice, and his sled, she had given it little thought beyond that point, nor had she thought to ask. She had kissed him. He had seen her safely back to Arendelle. She had wrested from him the skeletal outline of his life - his parents, his sister, the men of the mountains. But who was he? What was his favorite food, his favorite thing to do on a day off; where did he live? The insecurity planted, she found herself dwelling on thoughts such as these, as the days passed and long hours alone returned. Kristoff did not visit as often as she might have hoped he would and her mind drifted, perhaps inevitably, back to Hans. It wasn’t the same, of course it wasn’t the same, but she noticed, suddenly, anything that hinted at secrets, half-truths. But the hardest blow, the darkest secret, came - unexpectedly and unannounced - from Elsa. Anna was in her room, and the day had been a pleasant one - the weather warm and breezy, and though no one had been available to accompany her, she had gone out for a ride along the coast road, and had fun all by herself. She had spurred her horse to a gallop, leaving the stone road for the rocky headland along the fjord, the wind whipping her braids against her shoulders and her skirt around her legs. In the afternoon, she had gone into the city - now accompanied by a guard, at Elsa’s gentle request - and explored anew streets that were finally beginning to seem familiar, manageable. She went to a shop that sold knives, and one that sold luggage for travelers, and one that sold only hats. She bought a snack from a cafe, and the kind proprietress gave her a free cup of tea. It had been a very pleasant day, indeed. She was sitting before her vanity, dressed for bed and trying to patiently comb the snarls from her unplaited hair, rather than jerking them, when the single, soft knock came at her door, and Elsa’s hesitant voice: “Anna?” “You can come in.” Of course she could. But Elsa said, “Thank you,” as she carefully closed the door behind her. She kept her hand pressed to it for a long moment, her back turned. Anna looked out of the corner of her eye, still fighting - now blindly - with her hair. “Is everything all right?” Elsa turned, managed a smile. “Fine. Everything is fine. I just.. wanted to talk to you.” “Sure, I’d-” But the brush snagged hard against a knot, fire rippled across her scalp, and her pleased acceptance was swallowed by a hiss of pain. Before she could stop herself, she threw the brush - hard - and clamped her hands to the throbbing place on her head, closing her eyes. She heard Elsa’s footsteps; a pause, a soft clatter, then a sigh. “You always did have sensitive scalp,” she said. “Now - scoot over?” Elsa sat beside her and - after a momentary hesitation - began to work the brush through her hair, gentle and patient; long, slow strokes. Anna closed her eyes again, resisting the urge to hum with pleasure. Once, Gerda had brushed her hair, her mother when she could spare the time - but how many years had it been? Her mother had been so patient, teasing out the tangles, and Elsa’s hands now felt like a beautiful memory. The same hands she had kept so long encased. Her fingers were cool against Anna’s scalp, but not cold. And Anna knew there was no danger in them. She was safe, and Elsa was here. Anna let the calm, easy contentment wash over her. “What were you doing today?” Elsa asked after a short time, gentle humor in her tone. “Riding. It was windy.” Elsa tsked, but kept at her task, her fingers now sliding through after the brush, combing and smoothing. “Where did you go?” “Along the coast. Oh, you should come next time! You can smell the salt and watch the gulls flying and there were rabbits, big fat ones, and-” And she was off, trying to remember every detail of the day, and Elsa nodded and smiled and brushed, endlessly patient. But as her words finally ran out, so did the knots in her hair - and Elsa put the brush on the vanity countertop and left Anna’s side, retreating to one of the stiff-backed chairs against the wall. Anna was glad she stayed - but she didn’t know how to cover her disappointment at the move. “When is Kristoff supposed to visit again?” Elsa asked - as if nothing had changed. Anna shrugged. “Late summer’s busy, he says.” “And he feels obligated to help with the harvesting.” It was more a statement than a question. “I guess so.” Elsa smiled. “We’ll work on finding more he can do around here.” And Anna felt something in her heart swell and lift, warm and buoyant. She grinned at her sister, and though Elsa’s smile was tight, controlled - it was there. This was her blessing. And how Anna loved her for it. A lovely end to a lovely day - but then Elsa said, “Has he taken you to see the… the Tsandskiyi?” “The what?” “The, uh… the… the trolls?” “Oh - yes. We went… after we left… uh… left your palace. On the North Mountain.” “Did he say… why?” “He thought they could help. After. He said he’d seen them do it before.” As when the trolls had been mentioned in her presence before, at that first formal meeting with Kristoff, Elsa’s expression sharpened, and the air temperature dropped noticeably. “What’s wrong?” But Elsa shook her head - stiff, abrupt movement. “Nothing.” “Do you… not want me to go see the… the… what did you call them?” “Tsandskiyi. It’s their word for themselves.” “Why do you know that?” Elsa smiled, but it looked suspiciously forced. “I’ve come across it in books, here and there over the years.” “That doesn’t answer the question though.” Anna had learned the hard way not to push too far but Elsa had come to her, this time. And Anna wouldn’t allow her to let unnecessary secrets fester and rot again. “Is there some reason why Kristoff shouldn’t take me to see them?” But what came to mind, unbidden, was the choice they had forced him to make, and the haunted look in his eyes after it was made. He had chosen her - but surely Elsa couldn’t know that? It was likely neither Anna nor Kristoff would ever see the men of the mountains - the Tsandskiyi - ever again. But Elsa once more shook her head. “No, it’s not that. I just wondered if he told you… if he told you who he saw with them before.” “No,” Anna said - but almost immediately, another thought occurred: “Wait - do you think it might be someone else with magic?” “No.” A long silence - and Anna could see that Elsa’s hands were shaking, even as she clasped and twined them together. Once more, the temperature in the room began to drop. Elsa closed her eyes, and Anna saw her swallow hard. “It… it wasn’t someone else with magic.” Her voice trembled, low. Anna went to her - without hesitation, crouched before her. Elsa closed her eyes and shied away, hunching as though trying to close in on herself. “You can tell me,” Anna said softly. “It’s all right. Whatever it is. I promise.” “It’s not.” Elsa opened her eyes, but they were unfocused, distant. She bit down - hard - on her lower lip. “But I have to tell you anyway. I… someone should have told you a long time ago.” “Told me what, though?” “The person Kristoff saw with the Tsandskiyi, Anna, I… I think it was… I think it was you.” And now it was Elsa’s turn to tell a story, sparing no details, Anna still as stone before her. Except when - as Elsa spoke haltingly of the castle being closed off, the servants going, things Anna actually distantly remembered - she reached out and put her hand over Elsa’s. Elsa instantly jerked back and trembled, pulling her arms up at an angle, hands fisted. A radiating spray of ice spread up the wall around the back of her chair, like a halo in the ancient art in the chapel. She cringed, trapped and terrified, eyes squeezed shut. Anna retreated - not far, but away. She chewed her lip, uncertain of so much - Elsa herself, and all the things Elsa had just told her. She watched the ice crawling along the wallpaper, slow and inexorable: long, thin fingers. Elsa’s breath was harsh. “Thank you,” Anna finally said - hardly louder than a whisper. Elsa’s eyes came open, wide and scared, owlish, deep shadows across them. She said nothing. Her hands were still shaking. There was frost on the floorboards now too, snow drifting lazily in the air. “It’s all right,” Anna said. “I told you it would be. I just need… a little time to think about it. All of it.. It’s a lot. To think about, I mean.” Elsa just stared - then gave a tentative nod. “Of course.” “But I’m glad you told me. Really. I am.” “I’m sorry, Anna.” “You told me now. That’s all that matters.” And she believed she was telling the truth. But she couldn’t stop thinking about it - or understand why doing so left her feeling so off-kilter, uncertain. She wanted to be angry: at her parents, at Elsa, at Kristoff; at everyone who had decided they knew better than silly, flighty Anna, Anna who could handle nothing but herself, her own problems, and even those just barely. Best not to burden her with anything more. She wanted to be angry. But instead, she just felt empty. Sitting with Kristoff in the courtyard a few days later, her bare feet dangling in the pond, she said, “Elsa told me about the first time with the men of the mountain.“ She hadn’t brought them up with him, after he had made his choice, fearing it would hurt him. But she had to talk to someone, and Elsa, she feared, was in danger of going into a full emotional retreat once more, burdened with guilt that should never have been hers at all. And besides that, some bitter little part of her wanted him to know that she knew. She looked at him. He looked at the stem of grass he was rolling between his fingers. “I wasn’t sure,” he said, “if you knew. Not at first - and then, I don’t know, I guess there was just never a good time. None of my business, anyway.” Once more, she wished for anger, hot and cleansing. Once more, it would not come. “Everybody thinks I can’t do anything.” She kicked at the water, sending out ripples. “Can’t handle it. Incompetent Anna, good for nothing.” “That’s not true.” “Yes, it is. For fourteen years. Stuck here, no explanation, no answers, no reasons. Nothing. My whole life.” “Anna, that’s not-” “Yes, it is!” No anger, but something had her now; not hot, but cold and indignant and insistent. She got to her feet, hands fisted at her sides. “I lost everything! Do you understand that? Does anyone? My parents and my sister and my freedom and my memories - they took my memories. They took my life!” Tears broke free, running down her cheeks, and she turned away from him. “They took everything.” Strength gone, her voice low and thick. “How dare anyone presume to take anything else?” “No one is-” “Yes, you are! Every time you think I can’t handle it, you’re taking something else away.” “Anna, c’mon. I know you can handle anything. I’ve seen you do it.” She felt herself deflate - just a bit. “I’m just… I’m so tired of it.” “What?” She turned back to him, wiping her eyes on her sleeve; he was still cross-legged on the grass, eyes on hers soft and sad. “I’m tired of waiting for the next time.” He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Silent - but his eyes never left hers. Slowly, so slowly, she felt the tension inside her begin to dissipate. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. He smiled, shook his head. “There’s no reason to be.” And he stood, came close enough to take her hands in his. She was looking up at him, now - the world reverted to rights. “But Anna - you can handle anything. I know that. And I think probably your sister does, too.” She nodded, giving ground. “No more secrets? I mean - not ones about me?” “I’ll do my best.” She took it.  

Strange, uncertain days - Anna felt untethered, relishing the world as it had opened up for her, fearful of the hidden dangers she now knew it might contain. But most days were good, too. Most days were good.

[talking-head-productions]

Post Perspective: The Flash Season 4 Finale

WARNING: SPOILERS!

Sometimes, not often enough, I review things on YouTube under this title (Post Perspective). But those videos take a stupidly long time to write notes for, record, and edit. So I’mma do this instead.

The Flash has been decently good for its entire run. I can’t say I’ve ever been super blown away by The Flash, unlike Legends of Tomorrow (Army of Thawnes, Beebo vs Mallus, and more). But of the finales, I think this might be my favorite.

The Flash has tended to have a bit of a problem where it’s penultimate episodes are not surpassed by the finale. In season 1, Flash Arrow and Firestorm all took on Thawne in episode 22. In Episode 23, they... have conversations with Thawne. There’s also a bit of time travel and a wormhole at the end, but much of that episode was about making the audience cry over Barry’s mom. 6.5/10 

In Season 2 episode 22, they fight Zoom’s army, Black Siren, and Zoom himself. Wally learns about Barry, and then Zoom murdered Henry! Episode 23 comes around... and they have a race in a giant loop-de-loop. The ending with Flashpoint had me excited for season 3, and Zoom becoming Black Flash was cool, but the episode was otherwise a huge “meh”. Especially since we’d just had an episode about Barry letting go of his trauma but now he decides, “screw it, I’m gonna save my mom”. 6/10, tops.

Season 3 was better. Episode 22 was awesome with Past!Snart, King Shark, and Team Flash’s apparent failure at the end. However, episode 23 was also awesome, with the reveal of H.R.’s sacrifice, then Black Flash’s appearance, then the incredible 3 vs 1 speedster battle, and finally the take-down of Savitar. All amazing. The very end is what brought it down, since there was no way they’d let Wally stay as Central City’s main speedster for... any length of time. So their try for an emotional “and now I mus go” scene with Barry fell flat. 7/10.

This season... I think breaks the curse by having episode 23 be a bit better than episode 22. The Flashtime use and Caitlyn’s new backstory kept me interested, and that hallway scene was fantastic beyond measure, but overall the episode felt like filler. The finale didn’t even acknowledge it in their recap. The finale itself, however...

Let’s start with the bad.

There were a few moments that took be out of my immersion- mostly having to do with Ralph, and how his powers were utilized/visualized. I love Ralph as a character, he’s fun and I really hope he sticks around. But his stretchy-ness just did not suit the seriousness of this episode. When he and Bary combo’ed it up, the sight of Ralph’s girly-scream-making face just made me laugh when I should’ve been cheering. The same with him turning into a cape during their escape, and his voice coming out of DeVoe’s mouth once Ralph took back control. Changing those moments would’ve helped out a lot. The first and thrid example I’m not sure how, but that escape would’ve been 10 times better if Ralph had stretched his legs to run alongside Barry like Plastic Man in the comics and cartoons (I know, I know, he’s Elongated Man, but come on).

The other thing that upset we was... they just killed DeVoe. Erasing his consciousness is the same thing as killing him. Barry had been telling Ralph all season that heroes don’t kill. And what’s his solution in the finale? “Ralph, overwrite DeVoe’s mind like some kind of virus. Just erase him.” No hesitation, no real discussion, no one really protests. It’s not OOC, but it does feel like a sudden switch that could’ve easily been avoided. Just have it be that someone else suggested it first, Barry protests, but then Marlize throws support behind it by saying that DeVoe, the man she married and loved, is dead already. All that’s left is a monster that deserves to be erased. Then have Ralph complete his character arc by being all, “I can do this, Rookie, I can be the hero!” And Barry accepts it then. Boom, perfect.

Okay, enough bad. Time for the awesome.

First, that opening with Captain Singh. So cool, purple sky and we get to see the perspective the average person has on these world-ending events. Very nice. (Question, did everyone with pacemakers die because of Kilg%re’s powers?)

After that, the iconic image of Barry in the Thinking Cap, I love it. I love Cecile’s temporary powers being used in such a smart way. I love how quickly the episode gets into the action.

That scene with Cisco and Harry had me legit tearing up, which is a big deal because usually only Steven Universe can get me to do that. Tom is such a great actor.

Ralph’s re-appearance had me fist-pumping pretty hard, just because we got to see him at least one more time. I was hoping the other metas would come back, too, but sadly no.

That bait and switch with Good!DeVoe was well done. I was expecting them to actually follow it through, especially after last season’s attempt to reform Savitar, but they totally subverted me. Well done.

I cannot express my sheer joy at seeing the Matrix Revolutions style fight between the DeVoe avatars and our heroes. apart from things mentioned above, those scenes were simply spectacular.

I also really like what was happening in the real world, seeing the growing desperation and their fear of when, not if, DeVoe would find them. (why were Barry and Ralph so sweaty and oiled inside his mind?)

And when DeVoe did find them, seeing papa bear Joe almost shoot the bastard was great. Seeing the bastard toss Joe aside and almost murder Cecile while she’s about to give birth was... just plain horrifying. But in the best way.

That moment where Barry stood up with lightning in his eyes felt very triumphant, if a bit off. Usually at that moment he would charge into battle and kick major ass, but there was no ass to be kicked.

There’s a bit of a lull after that, in which DeVoe becomes basically an AI for a few minutes. I’m hoping one of 2 things will come of that in later seasons: one, DeVoe uploaded a copy of himself to the internet before gloating to Team Flash, much like what Ultron did in his movie; or two, Marlize ripped out the hard drive and kept it, with plans to use DeVoe’s intelligence to further her goals in the future. If she did, she will likely lose control of him. Either way, DeVoe could then become a recurring villain, one with significantly less of a threat level.

That satellite scene has some BS going on with how all the debris comes down in a small area, causes very little destruction, and kills no one that we can see. Not at all accurate. Also, why didn’t Cisco just breach the whole satellite to someplace lest populated? Say, the vampire dimension? Good riddance to that place. Sigh. They never make proper use of Vibe’s powers.

But that supersonic punch scene was like two scoops of cookie dough flavor in a waffle cone with chocolate chips and syrup on top. Mmmh. Go Nora!

Speaking of, that ending party was fun before she arrived, but once she did things got... Bitchin’? (Troll-lol-lol-lol-lol...)

So excited for next season, expect a post on that at some point, too.

TL;DR: Flash season 4 finale was amazing because of DeVoe, Raplh, Matrix fights, Falcone Punches, and Nora. There were a few problems, but it was overall the best Flash finale yet. 8.7/10!

[vacationcalendar]

8/13/21

Today’s creative project, an private letter (it could have been an open letter, but who the hell is reading this besides myself and maybe the person receiving it) to Voyboy. He’s been in a rough place mentally/emotionally. He’s had some deaths in his family which is never easy, and his attempt to de-platform a twitch streamer with a known history of sexual abuse has earned him undue (and as is sadly routine, SEVERE) ire from fans of said streamer. 

It’s so weird, there’s obviously people who are like, “I’m not getting involved. I don’t care enough to inform myself well enough to have an opinion.” And those people are also split into camps that either approve or disapprove of “rocking the boat” as it were. Some people think this level of calling-out is too incendiary for the offense. Some people find the subject uncomfortable and wish it would go away, with the unfortunate default to that view being an acquiescence of justice for the accused.

And some people are also hung up on the justice part in particular. This entire affair is being conducted in the infamous “Court of Public Opinion.” A forum that has been dragged out MUCH more frequently in this modern age than in history. That fact alone upsets people. Hell, it’s bothered me in the past. I see the Court of Public Opinion make a ruling, and I think, “I didn’t elect this Judge, I did not approve this jury, there is no precedent here!”

It does feel like things are moving fast. They are. Dan Harmon said in an interview earlier this month, “Progress isn’t a scalpel, it’s an avalanche.” And he welcomed it. We should be welcoming progress. Even if it’s messy. Some might say “especially if it’s messy!” I don’t know who is saying that, but I feel in my gut someone on twitter would say that and get 80.3k likes. I know my Twitter.

I digress. Some people are of the view that they can’t be the judge. Leave it up to the real judges and let me just do whatever it was that I was going to do, please. So when Voyboy does all this work to put a spotlight on this problem, people see him handing them a pitchfork and come help him kill The Beast. And some people balk at that. Some people shy away, and just stay inside (this is mostly me, I’ll admit. The inside people go, “I didn’t watch that guy anyway, this is all fine with me! Now please leave me alone”). And some say, “Hey man, I’m opposed to violence, and by the way, the Beast is a really chill guy if you ever got to know him. In fact, people like you who are so quick to hand out pitchforks to make yourself look like some noble saint are actually pieces of shit!” And then a bunch of that guy’s friend go “Yeah, he is a piece of shit!” because that’s how bullying works. And then the bullies spend all day trapped in their miserable bodies, stuck in their miserable lives. And they go on Twitch and watch their friend stream to them, and their friend makes them feel wanted for once in their shit existence. And then later they’re on twitter and see Voyboy say something about how your friend’s an abusive monster and needs to see justice, and you KNOW that it’s all bullshit, and Voyboy just trying to get points with his girlfriend or something, he doesn’t care at all. What an asshole. Fuck him. Fuck this loser. I should reply to him, since it’s the easiest thing in the world for anyone to do. And generally people don’t follow people they hate like this, so that would limit this extremely toxic interaction, but Voyboy is followed by all the LoL streamers, so people that follow league generally hear from all the content creator’s in the community. And maybe they’re streamer friend mentioned that Voyboy was a fake ass cuck or whatever on stream and told his followers to go check out the shit he was spewing. 

So Voyboy says grooming is unacceptable and disgusting, sexting teens is deplorable. And we as a modern community don’t need to hear him beat a rap sheet like that in court to act, because we as a community have the power to shape it how we see fit. And under that tweet is 100 replies saying that he’s a piece of shit and should die.

And then the uninformed masses see that and go, “why is Voyboy a piece of shit?? What am I missing?” And then they see Voyboy tweet something like “this is really hard, these guys are out to get me but I won’t back down.” And if you’re like me you think, “Oh I’ve never supported this kind of drama in my life. This is boring at best and uncomfortable at worst. Let’s all stop (aka bail)!” And then Voyboy goes “I won’t!” And then everyone level-headed and sane goes “boo, I’m bored, knock this off!” And everyone that is now LIVING for this bullying. I mean, what a payout. You bully this dude every day and he feeds you attention every time? This rules! So the detractors get WORSE and the supporters settle down. And Voyboy has now learned the harsh truth of social justice. It just beats you down. Everyone’s in this game for themselves; the moment you set aside your own interest to help someone else out, you are instantly and forever outnumbered. And the whole time you’re just like, “what the fuck is so hard about this? I am proposing an objectively good idea that would make everyone happier! I only even started trying to say something because I knew I was right! This is like getting fired for hitting a home run!”

I’m learning, and I should say digesting maybe, more about power this year than I have in a long time. It’s the answer to a lot of equations that don’t add up under my current philosophies. Like if everything I think is true, then was does X Y and Z still happen? Why do I feel like ____? The answer is something to do with power. And I’m starting to figure out what that is. Ha, I think part of me is a little ashamed it’s taking this long, I guess. Like, I’M learning it, but it’s been learnt. I’m catching up. But that’s ok. That’s literally all I’m doing. Catching up. Keeping up. I’m not even trying to do something once I’m caught up. I just don’t think there’s any other place to be. Well, I mean, I would truly hate to write something that got read that was just plain not-caught-up. Something that would make a reader go, “hey, doesn’t he know better?” I SHOULD. That’s literally the goal.

Anyways, I’ve lost my train of thought, and need a bathroom break. Here’s the letter I sent to Voyboy, to try and help him through all this. Talk to you tomorrow love ;) : Hey Voy I hope you are doing better, and I hope you get a chance to read this. I started League of Legends back in Season 1 when I was in college. I remember the first time I heard of you, you were one the few people ahead of HotshotGG in the rankings, and I remember thinking, "what the hell, how did this kid get so lucky?!" lol. Then I got to see you play with RS, and mostly thought you were lucky again to be getting carried by Scarra 🤣 I'm sorry! By the time you joined CLG I finally caught wise. You became one of my all-time favorite players on the scene. Your Olaf looked like a cheat code, I swear to god. I love League of Legends so much, and back in college I spent almost every waking minute thinking about it. It was one of my great passions. And at that time I was struggling to find anything else I was truly passionate about. I got depressed in college, and by that point I had realized my goal of being an engineer wasn't something I actually cared about. So I dropped out. I was in a truly dark place. I felt like life had left me behind and that I was worthless. I still had League, but League couldn't give me what I needed. I have this distinct memory from one of my last games in Season 4 where some Ranked Soloqueue bs was making my blood boil out of my body. I literally had to stand up and walk around outside after the game. I was pissed, but I knew the real reason was because I just wasn't good enough. That was the moment I realized I was never going to get to walk the path of Voyboy or Doublelift, I was not going to be one of the great ones that League would pick up and give them an opportunity to do something great. I would need to find something of my own.

After that League stopped being as fun for me. I knew I had to do something else with my life and League was only holding me back. All my friends I knew through League started to feel less like my friends. So I quit. After almost 4 years nonstop. And the years after that only looked worse. I was still depressed, still struggling desperately to find my way, and now the thing that brought me the most joy in the world was long gone from my life.

Five years went by and over that time I moved, got a real job, and somehow became a real adult. Life was still hard work, but I was now ready for it. I bought myself a real gaming computer after using crummy laptops my entire life. And once I realized I could finally see LoL at something other than the lowest graphics setting, I decided to download it again. I don't need to tell you that coming back 5 years away made League feel like a completely new game. I might as well have been playing Dota for all I knew. And I felt terrible. I felt like the person that used to play this game was dead; I had no memory left in my fingers. "Well, it was worth a shot," I said.

And then I found your videos on youtube. "Hey I know him!" After just two games, it all came rushing back to me. Your games, your stream reignited my love for League of Legends. And now I'm healthier. Now I can play for a bit and return to a life I that I care equally about. I learned how to love League AND love myself; and the entire time, you were there. The Kid, with his million-watt smile, raising the bar.

I can't say I see the exact same circumstances with what you've been going through lately. I just know what that cloud can feel like. And maybe it's similar, feeling like League and the other parts of your life are at odds with each other right now. And the further away the game gets, the more you see the cracks appear. Hateful kids and useless trolls come to this game not for the experience, but to talk crap and feed their ego. It's so sad that our society still needs to work so hard to treat sexual abuse with the weight that it deserves. But I think because of that, it only highlights that you're doing work that's worth doing.

I don't know what you're planning on doing next, but no matter what it is, I'll support you. I don't know what it's worth, but you're genuinely one of my favorite people. You're worthy of love, you're worthy of happiness. You've worked hard, you've put your heart into making League of Legends a community something to be proud of. I've seen it time and time again. And it won't be for nothing, I swear.

Cya nerd, be well. Thanks