#i hope their next album is less cheesy so i can have a reason to see them on their next tour

[10yearsofdnp]

February 1, 2015: So curious to know what inspired this, but more importantly--I ADORE passionate Dan, can we please get more of that in 2025? 🎵🤘🙌

[lia-land]

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

4/5 stars

Spoilers*

I love that the acronym is ACOWAR.

This was a good book, but my hopes were insanely high after A Court of Mist and Fury. This had specific scenes that I enjoyed, like the solstice and the High Lord’s meeting, but I got bored with all the war talk. It’s kind of like Taylor Swift’s Folklore and Evermore albums. Folklore was an amazing album as a whole, and Evermore had a few amazing songs, in my opinion.

The entirety of Feyre’s time in the Spring court was really enjoyable to read about and was a very strong start to the book. All of those chapters were on par with ACOMAF for me. There’s a lot of character development apparent there and I enjoyed SJM’s writing style here im not telling the reader about Feyre’s plans until after she had succeeded. Nothing really caught my interest after that until the conversation in Tarquin’s office, and then the High Lord’s meeting.

The only thing I explicitly disliked was how none of the main characters died. This is not to say that I expect a character to die in every series, but when you have as many main characters as this series has had, it just seems too convenient that they all live. Not just that, but Amren and Rhys did die, only for both to be brought back to life. I have read the rest of the series and cannot see any reason for Amren to have needed to come back to life. The excuse for it was also very rushed over, with Rhys saying that he just found her in the Cauldron when he was dead himself and brought her back. Her death did not surprise me at all as it just made sense and I felt like it was coming, but her revival confused me. Maybe she will have a purpose in future SJM books, but it would have been far more impactful if she had died and remained dead. It might have felt less out of place if Rhys hadn’t also died and been revived a few pages later.

Regarding Rhys coming back to life, I wish there was more justification on why the other High Lords chose to revive him. I can’t see why Beron and Tamlin would ever agree to do so, regardless of diplomatic pressure. Tamlin, I could maybe justify with his love for Feyre being so great, but even then, his character did not seem like the type to make such a sacrifice. I see absolutely no reason for Beron to have given his power. There obviously must have been one and I hope we find out in future books, because as it is now, it just feels like a convenient thing that happened for the sake of a happy ending. Potentially, I can also see why it might have caused some sort of refugee crisis since Rhys didn’t have an heir, but as it’s explained in later books, the Cauldron in unpredictable in how it chooses the next High Lord, so sometimes it's not the son of the previous High Lord anyway. Based on that, I assume the Night Court wouldn’t have been left without a High Lord, so we’re back to square one.

Mor, in general, was a very disappointing character. What even is her power? Her character would have made more sense to me if she didn't had a power, because what was the point if we never see her use it anyway? To be fair, in this regard, all of the characters were disappointing in the sense that we don't actually see their full potential. Feyre, especially, had so much potential with the magic of all seven courts and if this war was not an occasion for her to take full advantage of those powers, then what is? I know we see Rhys' beast form which he says he only resorts to when needed, but I was just expecting more from all of them. This didn't bother me much since I wasn't that invested in the battle scenes anyway, to be honest, so it hasn't majorly affected my rating.

I don't know how I feel about the ending. 1. Rhys and Feyre flying off into the night was a bit cheesy, but I'll live. 2. The death pact. I have manyyyy thoughts on this decision. On one hand, I completely understand that they are two people in love and witnessed each other die and never wanted to feel that pain again, but they are rulers. It is irresponsible and somewhat selfish in so many ways for the only two rulers of a whole court to make that bargain when they had no heir. This causes a paradox because they can either 1. never have kids, and leave the fate of the Night Court uncertain if they both die unexpectedly at the same time or 2. have kids and both die at the same time, whether expectedly or unexpectedly, which can have drastic effects on the child. I wasn't surprised when Feyre proposed such a reckless pact, but Rhys is 536 years old and has been High Lord for at least two centuries and I like to think that if he had thought of it in full, he wouldn't have agreed. (Although this is backed up by the Evil!Rhys theory, which I love to entertain so I'll let it slide for now).

In my review of A Court of Mist and Fury, I mentioned how I thought Rhys’ trauma from Under the Mountain was overlooked and I was hoping it would be acknowledged more in this book, but instead, Lucien faces something similar and that gets overlooked as well. I suppose it is on par with how our society doesn’t always acknowledge men’s trauma, but it would have been significant to have seen some sort of conversation about it.

I'm so embarrassed to say that the Cauldron scares me as of this book. The whole thing with it 'noticing' Nesta and then stealing Elaine in the middle of the night while 'singing' creeped me out.

[justmeinatree]

i LOVE your list because, while my current list isn't super indicative of this, punk rock is one of my favorite genres. i was super into punk music/culture as a teenager who was a little too angry at the world so that genre played a big role in shaping who i am today and it holds a very special place in my heart. and Green Day was one of my introductions to punk music so i absolutely adore their music and am very happy to see them on your list!!!!

i'll be the first to admit that me citing 1D/their solo music as favorites is less because their music is actually better than other artists and more so because i just have so much love for that band and its members. i got into One Direction as a young teenager and i struggled a lot with my mental health during the time that they were at their peak so, as cheesy as it is, they mean a lot to me because they got me through some tough times. i feel like i'm obligated to include them on any list of my favorite artists because i've been a fan of them for 10+ years 😂 but i also do unironically love their music...even songs from Up All Night are still in my regular rotation and it's been like 12 years since that album came out.

so...if i had to rank them, i'm not sure exactly where they'd go relative to the five artists i already mentioned, but Niall would definitely be first, Louis would be second, and Harry would be third. them as a band would go fourth because, as much as i love all 5 albums they did together, i definitely prefer listening to their solo stuff. it feels weird not putting Louis first because i've been a Louis girl since day 1 but i think Niall writes better lyrics for the most part and Heartbreak Weather is just such a good album. and no disrespect to Harry but i have to be in the right mood to listen to a lot of his music, whereas i can just throw something by Niall or Louis on at any time and know i'm gonna vibe to it. and i don't ever listen to Zayn or Liam's solo music because for whatever reason, i don't really vibe with it...so they don't even get to be in the ranking.

sorry for writing a whole essay 😂

-🤘

your list was fantastic as well ! some smiths, LOVE and three days grace, some canadian love 🫶

so funnily enough, i hated the up all night album. still just cannot get into it, and the second album, can’t remember the name at the moment 😬 was just not my vibe at all. i really started liking them more when midnight memories came out, and then the next 2 albums were great. as for solo work, flicker and hs1 have yet to be topped in my opinion 😅 heartbreak weather does not have a single song that i actually enjoy 🫣 and i have no idea how fine line propelled harry’s career, because that one too i just really didn’t like at all 😬 the show and harry’s house were a step up but they still have not come close to topping their first albums in my opinion 😅 ESPECIALLY hs1, it’s honestly front to back such a fantastic album ! louis wise, i really liked walls, and i like faith in the future even more. louis to me is just steadily inclining in quality (i have high hopes for his third album 😂) and zayn and liam have some good songs, love pillow talk a lot and his new stuff is really good too. not a big fan of liam’s newer stuff, but some of his old songs are pretty good bops 🤷‍♀️

please don’t crucify me for this personal analysis 😂

[tintentrinkerin]

Profound Pain

Pairing: Wincest

Tags: Coda to 10.03 Soul Survivor

Created for @first-time-wincest-fest

Warnings: none

Rating: Teen and Up

Word count: 1,609

Sam knocks. Two times.

“Dean, it’s me, got your greasy burgers, cheesy fries and some Johnny Walker.”

There’s a rustling and then Sam hears Dean clear his throat. When he answers, he sounds like a wounded animal. Thin voice. And not really in the mood for company, but-

“Yeah, come in.”

Sam opens the door to Dean’s room. Photo albums lie around, opened, photos taken out of their foils. Photos of Sam and Dean, of Bobby and Jo, Mary and John. Sam notices all of them, even though Dean is busy hiding them away, pushing them together to tiny piles of glossy paper squares. 

“We could also go to the kitchen, if you want?”

But Dean shakes his head. He looks like he’s sunken in, nothing left of the confident posture. Seeing Dean like this hurts so much more than the things he did when he was a demon. Not quite himself. 

“Nah, it’s okay, I don’t feel like leaving my cave.” 

A crooked smile and sad eyes. Sam can’t help but acknowledge how beautiful Dean is, even now. Or, especially now? 

He puts the fast food bag on Dean’s desk and leans against it while Dean is still suspiciously busy with making space on the floor and also his bed. He must be so ashamed, at least Sam would be. Right? 

“It’s fine by me. Here, have some whiskey.”

Dean looks at the bottle. And then at Sam. Raises an eyebrow. 

“That’s roughly half a bottle. What happened to the rest?”

“I happened to the rest”, Sam says. 

He doesn’t feel even close to drunk but he wished he was, because the last months took his toll on him and he would love some fuzzy moments now. Just forget about the whole thing, the hammer, the chasing. Dean’s black eyes and the damn look on his face when he looked at Sam back at the bar. Or when Sam held a demon knife against his throat. But he can’t. It’s all still painfully clear and sharp in his mind. He wishes for some moments of bliss, laughter, childish giggles - and he wishes to be close to Dean. When his cheeks start to burn he realizes he blushed. Damn, he’s not a teenager anymore, but Dean’s demonic games have left him squirmy and thrilled. 

“Sammy, are you wasted?” 

“Not even close.” 

He chuckles. “I wish I was, but I still feel sober. What a waste of booze.”

“Well, there’s still half a bottle and I have a secret stash.”

“I know. The better stuff than Johnny.”

“Yes, actually not made for getting drunk but it’s a special day, right?”

Sam looks up to the ceiling, trying to ignore the stinging in his eyes. Needs to squint away some tears.

“Sammy, I-”

“No, no, Dean, shut up. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But-”

“Really, you don’t have to. It’s okay.”

Dean sits down on his bed, as the creaking of the bedframe tells Sam. He doesn’t dare to look down right now, the tears in his eyes - they’re not worth crying. Not now. He should be happy. Dean is back. His brother is back. He’s human. 

“No divorce?” Dean asks with a chuckle.

“Dean, just shut up for a second, I’m not in the mood for stupid jokes.”

“I hoped I would be funny.”

Dean sighs, Sam still stares to the ceiling, he can’t help it, now a tear is running down his face and he wipes it away. Quite angrily. 

“I’m so sorry, Sammy. I tried to kill you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Only because Cas was there in time. What if-”

“It didn’t happen, that’s all I care about right now. But if you killed me and stayed a demon, I wouldn’t have cared as much as I should. I wanted you back. And I got you back.”

“I feel so--”

Sam now looks at Dean, focuses on him. It’s like he’s seeing Dean the first time in months, because the demon wasn’t him. Not Sam’s Dean. That Dean, demon eyed runaway Dean looked at Sam like he was a meal. Sam’s Dean looks like a beaten dog. 

“Guilty? Aren’t you tired of feeling guilty all the damn time?”

“Sammy, please…” 

Dean gets up again, makes two steps towards Sam and then stays where he is. Maybe an arm’s length away. He’s so close, Sam can count his freckles and see the dark brown rings of his green pupils. Even breathe in Dean’s smell, he still smells of sulfur - but faintly. Nothing Sam would find bothering. When he pushes himself from the desk and closer to Dean, his heart starts beating violently in his chest. Maybe, just a little, now he feels intoxicated but he wouldn’t say that’s Johnny’s fault. It’s Dean’s. 

Dean gasps when Sam’s hand grips him tight on his neck. At first, Sam doesn’t dare to move even an inch closer. Dean’s breath is hitching, mouth slightly open, tongue licking his upper lip. A gesture that drives Sam’s heart rate into new heights. 

“What are you doing?”, Dean asks. 

He doesn’t pull away. He leans in.

“I am sick and tired of feeling guilty…”, Sam whispers.

God, they’re so close. Too close. Way too close, for way too long to ignore it. Not this time. Sam’s ignored so many things they did - things that can’t be explained with them being brothers. They’re more. They’ve always been more.

Dean puts his hands on Sam’s chest. How is that not a confession? Will he push Sam away?

No. No pushing. His big green eyes, intense and seductive, look at Sam.

Sam will blame Johnny nonetheless for what happens next. Pulling Dean closer by his neck and first, only their foreheads gently nudge together. There’s a sigh, both of them at the same time. Dean radiates a certain heat, a needy, an inviting heat, Sam’s whole body tingles at the sensation. 

“Sammy…” 

This time Sam makes Dean shut up. No more words, no more excuses or apologies. He’s sick of talking for once. He presses his lips on Dean’s, feels their softness and their warmth. Sam kissed some people, men, women, people who didn’t fit in a category, but none of them filled him with such a horrendous and profound pain that would soon overturn and become a feeling of thrill and pleasure and need. Dean’s hands wrap around Sam’s neck and pull him even tighter. Soon Sam lets his tongue slide along Dean’s lips, they open slightly, a shattered moan - what a sound, what a damn sound. Nothing Sam has ever heard before! No one should moan this way, it drives Sam crazy. 

They part, just for a second and Sam turns around, sits on the bed followed by a load shriek of the bed frame, Dean follows. Climbs on Sam’s lap. No talking, no other sounds than their heavy breathing and the hammering pulse in their ears. Photos Dean had missed while stacking them together crumble under Sam’s body, but he couldn’t care less. These times in the photos are over. What happens now is all he cares about. 

“Sammy”, Dean’s voice is low, rough, “I didn’t know…”

“Hush”, he commands, “please not now..”

Dean nods, breathless and with his hips rocking against Sam’s. 

They’re careful, Sam is still injured, Dean is still in distress. Too much is left unsaid, Dean has too many things on his mind, Sam can feel it. They curl up with each other on Dean’s bed, their limbs entangled, their body heat combined makes Sam sweat. 

It takes several minutes for Dean to say something. 

“I didn’t know. Why did you never say something?”

“Because maybe for the same reasons you never said anything…”

Sam hugs Dean tighter with his healthy arm and kisses his forehead. He won’t go anywhere anytime soon, even though Cas is still around somewhere in the bunker. Sam needs privacy with Dean now, no interruptions wanted and they’d have that if they leave and go to the kitchen. The burgers and fries have gone cold by now, Dean’s stomach growls anyway and Sam knows he’ll eat it even when the cheesy fries have the texture of wet cardboards. 

“I will make up for it”, Dean says quietly. 

Sam shakes his head.

“Don’t need to.”

“But I want to.” 

“That’s a reason I can live with.”

Dean chuckles. Damn, Sam knows it will take a while. Talk it out, feel into everything. It’s new. It’s oh so fragile. All the what ifs… 

“I thought my mind made it all up”, Dean starts, “that you look at me like a lover, not a brother. I really thought I was just fantasizing because I wanted it to be true so badly… but never thought it’d actually happen… And later… Stanford, Jess, you came with me hunting… it felt unreal.”

“It was always you”, Sam whispers, “no matter what… no matter who...”

“Okay, so, really no divorce?”

“If you mention a divorce just one more time, I swear I will divorce you.”

Dean chuckles. He fumbles on Sam’s cast but leaves it after a couple seconds and rather takes his brothers’ hand. 

“I have a lot of questions, just like you”, Sam then adds, looking at their entangled hands. “I just don’t know where to start.”

“Me neither… but, I think… let’s start living it, ask questions and tell stories along the way.”

“Sounds good.”

They might have some very serious issues to fix, but now Dean is human again, he’s with Sam now, there will be nothing in their way. It’s like they said so many years ago. They’re stronger together than apart. And now, they’d be unstoppable.

[regrettablewritings]

Modern!Jaskier x Reader Ship Meme

Prompts taken from this ship meme

Which one texts like a straight white boy?: Of course it would have to be our resident white boy. It isn’t even that he necessarily means to, there’s just an embarrassing amount of overlap between the messages a straight white boy tends to text, and those of your rising star boyfriend. You’d look more into it if it weren’t for the fact that you know there’s no actual malice in it, and because it’s just so sad that it’s funny. If one were to go into the photos saved on your phone, they would’ve surely come upon an entire album of screenshots you’d taken over the years, from when Jaskier would be on tour without you to when he’d just be resting at home while you were out at work. Things like: “Wat r u up to 2nit, cutie? ;)” “I’m probably just gonna play whatever’s on my Watch Later backlog on youtube until I conk out.” “Wild!!! anyway wat would u do if i was there rn~?” Or “Do u miss me? :(” “Of course I do ya dingus!” “Ok....Can we do a quickie over videochat?” “Jas i’m at the store.” “The point still stands.” Or “Watcha thinkin bout? ;)” “About how The Great Gatsby becoming public domain means there’s nothing stopping anyone from making a drag show interpretation called The Gay Dragsby.” “Aaww w/o me? ;)” “...” “WAIT NO I THOUGT YOU’D SAY YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT ME SHIT NO.” “BUT ACTUALLY DO GO ON IM KINDA INTERESTD.” If it were anybody else, you would’ve blocked them. But this wasn���t anybody else. It was your Jaskier: Your foolhardy, constantly horny, but never-short-of-loving Jaskier. And besides, not for nothing, at least they were something you could get a laugh out of.

Which one cried during a fucking Disney movie?: Once again, Jaskier is the guilty party. It’s no secret that he’s the more emotional of the two of you -- he wore his investment in Titanic with pride, after all. But it is a secret that the particular Disney movie to make him cry was Hercules of all things! Not Bambi, not The Lion King, not even Beauty and the Beast, but goddamn Hercules! (On another note, he also cried to Coco. But that barely counts: Literally everyone and their mother has cried during Coco. The only difference here was that Jaskier could relate to being a young man so in love with music while coming from a family that discouraged the pursuit of it.) This isn’t a knock on anyone who enjoys the movie, mind you, but let’s be honest: Out of the Disney animated canon, Hercules isn’t exactly the most . . . emotionally cathartic or heart-string-plucking of the bunch. But just because it didn’t go out of its way to create a crying frenzy doesn’t mean that it’s lacking in some humanity. It is, after all, still a Disney film. The problem is, Jaskier can’t even quite express why it made him cry the night you both decided to watch it. Maybe it had something to do with a young man most people took as a joke trying to achieve greatness? And to be fair, “Go the Distance (Reprise)” and “A Star is Born” differently when you’ve done some growing . . .

Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?: It only happened once, but you’d never let him live it down. You like to joke that you’d left him to his own devices for just fifteen minutes so that you could take a shower -- of which was completely true -- and that was all he needed for things to go downhill. Nobody wants to think they’d be in the wrong for trusting a 20-something year-old to not be his usually somewhat distractable self. But that particular day, said 20-something year-old decided to occupy that little spot of time to himself with TV and a plate of leftovers. And normally this would’ve been fine and dandy. But normally, Jaskier would’ve just waited for the food to heat before searching for something to watch. It shouldn’t have been too big of an issue that it went the other way around that day, but apparently it was. As much as he wanted to (which honestly wasn’t by much), Jaskier just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the images flashing on the TV. The baby blues were set on the screen the entire while -- up until he heard a faint popping. Followed by a sound he normally only heard in a cheesy sci-fi movie. The problem was, he wasn’t watching anything even remotely science-fiction-y . . . All you were doing when you exited the bathroom was going to grab your lotion. That was literally all you had any expectations for. What you hadn’t expected to come upon was your boyfriend, hollering and diving over the sofa in order to scramble into the kitchen and stop that strange, not-good-sounding sound. Suffice to say, you had to put your shower on hold; it simply had to wait for you to finish fussing, then again for you to finish laughing your ass off. And again because if you entered the shower still laughing, you’d probably slip and break your head open and then Jaskier would have to deal with another possible emergency caused by himself.

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who?” thing?: You can both be guilty of it, but Jaskier without a doubt does it more. Sometimes he’ll emerge from “his cave” (aka the little nook in the apartment where he likes to mess around and write lyrics or arrangements) on a break and catch an unsuspecting you sitting on the couch or at the dinner table. Other times, it could just be when he comes back from running some errands or doing a quick interview at the local radio station. You don’t mind it much . . . Especially since you can get a rise out of him by purposefully guessing the wrong person. (“Hmmm . . . Could it be . . . my mail-order husband? Boy, that was quick. And all the way from Russia, too . . .” “Uh, no.” “The milkman, finally accepting my invitation to commence a torrid love affair?” “Okay, you know damn well -- ” “Or better yet: My hopes and dreams have manifested, oh, Waluigi, could it really and truly be you!?” “What in the absolute fuck --”)

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?: Because it’s usually himself who presents as being the more mischievous of the two, and because he tends to run the warmest, it always shocks Jaskier when you decide to play dirty and put your cold limbs all over him. Is it childish? Yes. But are his reactions to the sudden feeling of icy flesh hilarious? Also yes. You love to creep up on him when he’s tuning his guitar or scribbling down lyrics, or just minding his own damn business by trying to actually turn in relatively early for once. You love even more to watch him jolt and release the most high-pitched yip a man of his build could ever even joke about making. You’ll still be laughing about it as he scowls at you, cursing your “ghoul hands” and demanding to know if he’s dating a corpse at this point. Of course, no matter how peeved he might be, you can always count on one other thing from his dramatic reactions: Him huffily grabbing your hands into his own and rubbing them warm, or him forcing a park of fuzzy socks on your feet. And just for extra measure, you can be sure that he’ll spend the rest of the night holding you close or cuddling you -- “For exchanging bodily heat purposes,” he will always reason.

Who had that embarrassing reality TV marathon?: You both are guilty of it, actually. The question should really be, who is the least shameful about it. As with most things regarding a lack of shame, it was, of course, our dear Jaskier. Being a musician with a growing following, the little attention whore just can’t miss out on an opportunity to show himself off to his awaiting public. A rising star with relatability and a taste for trash? People eat that shit up! So you’ve learned to be less surprised every time he decides to liveblog himself watching things like Love Island or any of the 90-Day Fiancee spin-offs. In fact, in more recent times, you’ve come to join in with him, adding your own corresponding Tweets and commentary. Though don’t be too shocked once he starts holding polls and letting the public decide what show the two of you should watch next.

Who laughs more during sex?: You do, completely through Jaskier’s own efforts. Jaskier’s always had a pretty lax view of sex. This didn’t change when he met you, of course, but how he specifically portrayed that laxness did undergo some metamorphosis. Before, the entertainer was much more intent on his bedroom experiences being a display of power and an ability to please. Something dramatic and to be taken seriously. He still sees the importance of satisfaction in the bedroom, mind you, but with you, he can’t help but feel more . . . comfortable. With you, it’s a little more okay if he accidentally makes a dumb noise that in no way can be salvaged as sexy. With you, it’s a little more okay if he struggles to get his or your pants off, or if he struggles with removing your bra. And with you, he’s come to find that he’s a lot more okay with sharing a giggle or being a little more loose about things. It’s fine if your fingers tickle him or if he struggles to think of something proper dirty. But it’s even more fine if you think something he says or does makes you laugh, but not in a way that discredits his efforts. When you laugh, it shows that you’re comfortable with him. Comfortable enough to be with him, and be truly vulnerable. So do forgive him if he can’t help but run his fingers up your sides in a tickling fashion, or sloppily string together an innuendo. He simply loves how golden your laughter sounds, even in the throes of passion, intermingled with sweet whimpers and pleas of his name. How the heave of your chest and rippling of your tummy bumpily sync in with the rhythm of his thrusts . . . He just wants to see your smile, your genuine mirth, and bask in it with you. Besides, it serves as excellent song inspiration for him . . .

Who is the little spoon?: It depends on the sway of the day, really. As a whole, you both take turns without much thought simply because you tend to just fall into your positions. Some days, you just happen to lay into him in a way that makes you the little spoon. Other days, he conks out next to you in a manner that most could consider would make you the big spoon (or jet pack). Neither side really fights how it plays out unless one or the other may feel small and vulnerable, or just plain tired and in need of comfort. You often find yourself playing the role of the more dominating position during those first few days after Jaskier returning home from either a quick tour, or after finishing a long week of hours upon hours in the studio, or whatever kind of press-related nonsense his management team told him he needed to do. For as much as your boyfriend loved the spotlight, the truth was he was still quite capable of burning out and needing time to himself. Or, at the very least, just time with you. Even if that means he’s asleep for most of it, with you clinging to his back as he drifts off into a much-needed sleep. He makes sure to return it tenfold when you need just the same. Sure, your occupation may not be of the same nature as his own, but that didn’t mean you were in any less need of his cuddling. In fact, with him being gone as often as he was, Jaskier couldn’t help but feel almost guilty for not always being able to provide you with the basic comforts of being a constantly present boyfriend. Hence why the moment he would see your fatigued body crossing the threshold of your apartment, he would be all over you, ushering you into a quick shower, followed by a quick and simple dinner or snack, and capped off with him cuddling about you from behind. It didn’t matter if you’d come home right in the middle of a writing frenzy, or even if he’d been in the middle of searching for a breakthrough with an arrangement -- for as vain and bullheaded as Jaskier could be, he knew he owed you at least this much. You already put up with so much of his nonsense; this was quite literally the least he could do, both for you and for himself. Besides, he who was he to fight against the feeling of you wiggling closer into his hold, to deny himself the sound of your soft breathing as you lay yourself vulnerable to him? The fact of the matter is that he simply isn’t. He couldn’t be. Maybe in the beginning when things were still so unsteady and uncertain, but never now, when things had become so . . . well, what he could only describe as being “the both of you”. The both of you, molded and entwined, never wanting to let go. Never planning on it, either.

[fanfictiondreamscape]

When One Wants Ice Cream

Title: When One Wants Ice Cream

Genre: maybe a little bit fluffy, but primarily comedic (hopefully - i make no promises) 

Pairing: Rin Matsuoka/Haruka Nanase/Nagisa Hazuki/Makoto Tachibana x Reader (all separate) 

Notes: Okay, so this was a random idea that popped into my head while going to get ice cream about a week ago. What happened before going was what inspired this was, when my mom asked me to take our dog outside, I randomly had a craving for ice cream. Instead of answering her question about taking the dog out, I just randomly said, “I want ice cream.” 

The rest of the night we couldn’t stop laughing about it, and I still can’t get over it. (Seriously, typing this up was hard enough as I couldn’t type anything correctly while laughing). 

So, I hope you guys enjoy a rendition of my random sense of language combined with swimmer boys! 

Below the cut! 

Rin Matsuoka

we are all aware that this boy would die for you 

seriously, certified best boyfriend #1

but that also means that he isn’t afraid to make fun of you when you do or say something weird

which made this moment leagues funnier than it initially seemed

earlier, he had come into the living area of the apartment you two shared with a question

he seemed upbeat, but you were severely drained due to schoolwork aftermath and work stress

unlike him, you worked in a clothing store as a manager

it was v e r y stressful

and sometimes, you just need some comfort food

“hey, babe, what should we do on your day off?”

he was excited, that’s for sure - it’s the first night you’ve had a day off in a while, and he wanted to go out on a date with you. 

but he wasn’t expecting your answer to be so...random.

“i want ice cream.”

he paused, smiled, and bust out laughing. 

“w-what did you just say?”

you weren’t 100% aware of what you said, but that made it all the more funny

“i want ice cream, rin.” 

he continued laughing while you continued to fully realize what you said. 

“like right- right now?”

“yes, i have a craving for ice cream right now.”

he eventually calmed down enough to get out more than giggles.

“well, you wanna go? we can walk up there, but you gotta hurry, babe.”

you were up off the couch in less than a second.

“already on it!’

you both walked up there with your hands connected, smiling and laughing at the most recent occurrence.

and for the trouble, you paid for the ice cream under the circumstance that rin pays it next them.

in general, though, the statement became a small inside joke between the two of you

(seriously. kou, haru, sasuke, you name it - when you pulled this out in front of them and busted out laughing right after, they were so confused.)

(contrary to rin, though, you had to take a photo of every time their reactions came - you have an album dedicated to it and you post the images to tease them) 

Haruka Nanase

haru is soft despite what he comes off as

but he still has his moments of randomness.

and this was one of them.

you two were walking next to each other, side-by-side on your way to the park. 

you were hungry, he was hungry, and you didn’t want fish for the umpteenth time in a row.

and he knew this, as he really does love you and wants to expand his tastes for the future you two have planned. 

so when you decided to ask a question in regards to what to eat, his answer shocked you just the slightest.

“hey, haru, what do you want to eat?”

“i want ice cream.”

you giggled the second you heard his response to your inquiry, watching as he turned to you

though he kept a straight face, you could see the confusion in your eyes

which just made you laugh harder

you two had to stop and he had to hold you up as you nearly collapsed from laughing too hard

“what’s so funny?”

you were still laughing.

“you- you- ohmygod- you’ve never said anything like that before!”

poor boy was still confused

seriously confused

it kind of hurt, if he were to be honest

but he couldn’t help but smile at your expression

or your laugh

or just you in general

and you saw it as you were calming down from your laughing high

“we can get some ice cream, haru. that was just odd coming from you.”

he was confused again.

“i like it, though. it’s sweet.”

he returned to his mellow expression, still stoic and his eyes soft

his hand was held out as you stood up, and you both continued your walk to the ice cream shop from there

now, from time after time, you tease him about his smile

(and you may have asked his friends how to get him to smile and/or laugh)

(to which they told you to tickle him when you could)

(and now he’s on guard constantly)

(look what you’ve become)

Nagisa Hazuki

boi is upbeat

like-

very upbeat

and this translates to college life as well.

so he makes the boring days so much better when they hit a terribly low point.

and while you didn’t deal with these types of days very much, the heat was starting to get to you.

nagisa was still bouncing around and trying to find something to do

even suggesting some crappy board games

you didn’t even bring anything up until you felt your stomach grumble.

“hey, nagisa, are you hungry?”

he jumped up from his cross-legged seat on the floor and yelled his response

“i want ice cream!”

you couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the reaction, as you were in the mood for something cold to counteract the scorching heat

he had to pull you up from your position on the couch, but you were down for ice cream

which was also reflected in the way you two walked to your favorite ice cream shop.

he had you by the hand, you were dragging your feet behind you, and he had decided to mess with you from time to time

of course, those moments were out-of-the-blue in your zombie like state, but they were fun

people had even watched as you squealed when he’d tickle you or hug your torso like his life depended on it.

still adorable to the bystanders. 

either way, the fun was continued from that point on.

you both got your ice cream, he got his, and you both sat on a nearby bench beside each other

you were happy it was under the shade, he was happy that you both got ice cream

you both enjoyed the fact that this was practically an impromptu date, as well.

at one point, some of his ice cream melted off onto the grass beneath your feet

he pouted, you laughed

and patted his head.

he blushed, and you got your revenge :)

he still enjoyed it, though :)

(he got you back when you both got home by sending you into a tickle frenzy)

(pillows were involved and he still won)

(he’s vicious when he wants to be)

due to the both of you enjoying the experience so much, you’d both be 100% down to do something like this again

which translates to ‘who’s gonna say it first?’

and those impulse dates usually end in one of you getting tickled when you get home.

so yeah, fun times

(if you wanna include the time that you managed to knock your head in against the wall from one of his pillow hits)

(you hit him back hard enough to make him tumble off the couch arm and onto the floor, though)

(but, you know, just couple things i guess-)

Makoto Tachibana

yet another swimmer boi that would 100% die for you

certified best boyfriend #2, everybody!

no seriously

this is the type of guy you want to take home to meet your parents/parental figures

and he will then manage to inadvertently make them fall in love with him within five minutes

but one of the reasons he is so loved by them is his care and patience.

which is why he was worried for you at the moment

you were staring blankly at a wall in your house, despite the sound of the tv playing a screaming match in a show

he noticed, of course, and he was lost

“are you doing okay, s/o?”

you rarely did this, and it usually meant that something weird would be coming out of your mouth within the next-

“i want ice cream.”

there it is.

he laughed a little at the statement, and when you were able to fully process it, you did the same thing.

his lasted for about 5 seconds while yours lasted around 10

good times, as he got to see your smile for another time tonight.

(you’re adorable. he is soft for you. like, more so than usual)

so he was worried for nothing, thank god.

but he still didn’t know what to do about it as the shops were all closing down soon.

so he decided to check the convenience stores

a few were open!

so, at around 9:30 at night, you two were walking out to get one

it wasn’t very long, but as you two were holding hands tightly 

(and swinging them. again, the sight was adorable)

(god, that was so cheesy, holy shit-)

it went by faster.

upon entering your choice of store, the cashier just peeked up from their trashy magazine

makoto was driven to find the ice cream for you as he was getting a little scared, 

but you were driven to annoy the cashier upon the nonchalant interaction that just occurred.

yes, you definitely did want ice cream, but you also wanted this. 

you were reaching for a two liter of soda near the machine, and luckily for makoto, he stopped you

he could see the gears turning in your head.

don’t tell me he can not and would not stop you.

(it was dark, he was scared - leave him be) 

he had stopped you from causing trouble multiple times in your endeavor to get late night ice cream

thank god, cause you both knew that you’d most likely get kicked out if that were to happen. 

either way, you both had your cheap ice cream after a few minutes

and the rest of the night was spent peacefully at your place, watching cheesy movies 

and of course, scaring the crap out of makoto with a horror movie to provide an excuse to cuddle him when you both went to sleep

(your tsundere jumped out)

(also #savemakoto)

[krreader]

call me maybe.

pairing: jeon jeongguk x foreign student!reader fandom: bts warnings: language genre: fluff word count: 1.6k+

summary: these things didn’t happen in real life. there was just no way. you wouldn’t let yourself think otherwise.. not even if Jeongguk tried his hardest to convince you that this wasn’t some sort of joke.

a/n: so, because I felt a little weird doing this with a high school student, you’re a college student in this story who does a semester abroad. just to make that clear lol. also, why do I feel like I might make a part 2 for this :’)

You still didn't know how your friend managed to get you into this fan meeting, but now that you were here and staring at the faces of the seven boys that you used to admire from afar, you couldn't care less anymore.

To be in the same room as them was definitely a once in a lifetime experience.

To talk to them, probably even more.

You felt a little odd, because the people in this room all seemed like they were such die-hard fans and you, despite really liking them and their music, couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t deserve to be here..

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” your friend who stood in front of you started bouncing up and down, “They are right there you guys! Right there in front of us!” this is exactly what you meant. Die-hard fans.

“Can you please calm down? We don't want to look like total fangirls. The calmer we are, the better,” another one said and tried to smooth out her hair.

You were a group of four, you were the last one, had decided to watch your friends go first and boy, was that a good decision.

It was so nice to watch them interact with their favorites, it was so.. fulfilling somehow? To see them so utterly happy and while it was also a little cringy at times, you still smiled throughout the whole thing.

In fact, you were so busy watching them that you completely forgot you were waiting in line as well until one of the managers kindly asked you to step forward.

With a quick apology you walked up to the first member.

Your Korean wasn't perfect yet, but it was enough to hold a conversation and it didn't matter who you were talking to, Jin, Tae, Yoongi.. they all understood and encouraged you to at least try. They didn’t laugh when you made a mistake and you were sure that you weren’t always using formal Korean correctly, but they didn’t mind at all, they were just very kind.

You thought you'd be nervous once standing right in front of them, but all of them had a talent of making you understand that you had no reason to be. When they realised your nerves were getting the better of you, they reached out to touch your hand, always kept eye contact with you and never once made you feel like you being here annoyed them.

It was going incredibly well.. until you were standing in front of Jeongguk.

“Hi,” you smiled a little. The beginning was always the most nerve-wrecking.

However, unlike with the others who immediately said hello back and started up a conversation with you, Jeongguk just stared at you, then gulped down hard and shook his head a little.

Did you.. do something wrong?

“Hey,” he cleared his voice after it came out a little shaky, “Your name is.. (Y/N)?”

“Yeah..”

“Where are you from?” it was hard for him to keep eye contact, he quickly started to sign your album and seemed to take his time with it, unlike the other members.

“(Y/H/C). I'm doing one semester here.. maybe two if I really like it.”

“A.. year then, huh?” finally he looked up at you, staring directly into your eyes again. And it seemed like he let out a breath he had been holding.

Was he okay?

“Yeah, I arrived about three weeks ago, so this is a nice start,” you tried to break the ice, “I loved your recent comeback, seriously. You did so great.”

“Ah.. thank you,” finally, he started smiling, “Which school are you going to then? If.. that's not a secret,” Jeongguk chuckled.

“Not at all,” you smiled, “It's Hanyang university.”

“Oh, wow.. you’re a smart one, aren’t you?”

“Wasn't easy to get in, but I'm glad I managed,” you grinned from ear to ear.

Jeongguk was going to say something else, especially now that you two seemed to have a topic to talk about and he was just beginning to really smile and laugh, but Namjoon was already waiting with a smile and the manager were impatient.

So instead he said, “Well then.. see you around, (Y/N).”

You didn't think much of it that day. You were sure that he said that to everyone. Why wouldn't he? This is like their go-to line to make their fans feel good and like they were special, you weren't naive to think you actually were.

But.. well..-

                                                  one week later

“(Y/N), wait up!” your friend caught you just before you left the main building, “Are you going to the library?”

“A little later, I need to run home real quick to get something first.”

“Alright, I'll be waiting for you there, then. I'll text you where I'm sitting.”

“Sounds good,” with a smile you left, your book pressed against your chest as you made your way down the stairs and towards the exit of the campus.

But you didn't get very far.

You weren't exactly day dreaming, but you still weren’t prepared when someone suddenly appeared in front of you, making your book fall to the ground.

“Sorry, I didn't see you,” you didn't even look up, you just crouched down to pick up your things and were going to continue walking.

But he also crouched down to help you.

And even though he wore a hat, you could clearly see who it was.

“Oh.. my god?” your eyes widened.

“Please don't freak out, I know this is probably super creepy and weird, but I just had to try..-”

“Try.. what?!” for fuck's sake, this was Jeon Jeongguk and you were just casually meeting him here? “What are you doing here?!”

“Listen, I don't usually do this.. not even with girls that work with me, so I know this is a risk, but I can't stop thinking about you and I think I'm going mad.”

You stared at him with an open mouth, then started to look around, making Jeongguk furrow his eyebrows, “Okay, where's the camera? This is really funny, ha ha, stupid (Y/N), let’s pull a prank on her and post it on YouTube so everyone will see how stupid she is.”

“This.. isn't a joke,” he got back up when you did, “The reason I was so weird at the fan sign was because I.. liked you. And I know that's weird to say when I don't even know you, but I'd like to.”

The more he said, the lower your jaw dropped.

Was he actually serious? Did he really think you were that daft?

“Listen, I don't live in a Cinderella fantasy and I'm not twelve years old anymore. I'm not stupid enough to know that whatever this is, it's not real. Pull that prank on your delusional fans, but I’m not one of them.”

“But that's exactly why I'm here,” Jeongguk gently pulled you along with him, to a spot that was a little less busy, “Usually the people that come to our fan sign are die hard fans. I know that the moment I'd give them my number, screenshots of it would be on social media. I know that the moment I’d compliment them, they’ll twist my words in their heads and make them think I now want to marry them.”

“You don’t know me. You have no idea whether or not I'd do that too,” you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“Would you?”

You were taken aback, then shook your head, “Of course not.”

“Then I'm right about you. You went there by coincidence, didn't you? You probably got a ticket from a friend? And you like BTS, but you're not obsessed with us? You like our music, but you know that we're just people like the rest?”

Why was it feeling like he was calling you out?

“So what?”

“So go out with me.”

This was the weirdest situation you’ve ever been in. Seriously.

First and foremost, you were still convinced that this was some sort of joke, that the moment you'd say yes, he'd be like: 'Surprise, you got pranked, I'd never go out with you, bye'. But at the same time, you were curious..

“How did you even find me?”

“You told me you studied here.. I just waited and hoped you’d leave through the front exit.”

“How long did you wait?”

Jeongguk shifted his weight from one foot to the other, “A.. while.”

“And.. why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I told you.. I think I like you. I can't stop thinking about your smile, I can’t stop thinking about your life or your perfume and I know that all sounds so weird. I don't take a lot of chances in my life and I regret it every time I don't. But I want to stop doing that. I want to take a leap of faith this time.”

So, so, so stupid, (Y/N). Don't fall for it. This isn't real. There is no way this is real. It doesn't matter that he's looking at you like this, this is most definitely a prank, it’s way too cheesy to be real.

You just opened your mouth when you could hear a friend from afar yell: “Yah! (Y/N)! You said you were going home, what are you doing?! Are you skipping our tutoring session today?”

Jeongguk instantly started to panic, grabbed the pen and notebook out of your hand and scribbled something inside it, then pushed it back into your hands, “Please don't let me be wrong about you..”

And with that he ran off.

“Who was that?” your friend asked as soon as she was right next to you, both of you staring after the guy.

“A very strange man.”

“Ugh, I hate those,” she rolled her eyes and hooked her arm with yours, “Anyways, let's get lunch.”

You had been staring at his number for days now, over and over again.

You had ripped it out of your book once and thrown it into the trash can, only to pull it back out five minutes later.

You couldn't do it.

Something inside of you told you not to throw it away.

Maybe it was foolish hope? Most definitely.

You had expected a clip of your encounter with him to be online by now, titled with: ‘Jeon Jeongguk tries to get date with fan’ but there was nothing of the sort.

You kept checking, every single day, but there was absolutely nothing.

You sighed deeply and fell back onto your bed, the piece of paper in one hand, your phone in the other.

“Fuck this. What did the kids used to say? You only live once. Might as well make a fool out of myself.”

And so you dialed the number, with each peep your heart sped up, full on thinking that you'd end up with an old lady on the other end yelling at you why you were calling her in the middle of the night and that she had to get up early the next day to watch the newest home shopping episode.

But no old lady answered.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Uh.. hi. This is.. (Y/N)?”

Then it was quiet.

For a long time.

You almost would have ended the call if it weren't for that soft voice, so full of disbelief, yet happiness: “You actually called..”

Oh, fuck.

[thesimonkshow]

My thoughts on Folklore

This is about to be a long ass Taylor Swift post, so strap in for the ride.

I along with many others were going about their business (looking at Adam Driver gifs) before my phone alerted me to the notification that Taylor Swift was releasing her eighth studio album Folklore the very next day. Chaos everywhere, my sleep schedule went out the window as I went into the Swifties tag to see how everyone else was dealing with this news. So I eagerly awaited 2PM (Australian time) for the album to drop and after a few listens (sleep got the better of me through my first listen due to my previous sleep schedule), I eventually picked out some album highlights.

The 1 - I love how freely she’s cussing on the album (a point that will be reitriated throughout), and I know Gossip tabloids and casuals will be shooketh because they’d think Taylor & Mr. Alwyn have ‘broken up’ due to Taylor’s personable lyrics but this gave me Better Man vibes. Remember when the Bridge said ‘You might have bern The One if you were a Better Man’ and this is basically that without the angsty fire.

Cardigan - I LOVE how Alternative Folk fits Taylor’s voice, it sounds like she’s telling us a story and we are entrapsed by her. It also works perfectly with the love triangle songs, which I had to understand a bit through a few listens.

The Last Great American Dynasty - The moment I saw this track, I knew it would be epic. I pictured her taking the piss out of the Trump family, but what I got was an awesome song about the woman who owned Taylor’s Rhode Island house and the antics she got up to. I love the descriptors she used when describing the weddings and the party’s Rebekah & Bill had and especially the bridge of antics Rebekah got up to later in her time. The ‘And then it was bought by me.’ Part of the bridge, I love a good twist!

Exile - OH MY LORD. When I saw Skinny Love Bon Iver on this album, I knew this would be something and low and behold it was. The concept of the man in exile in her intro caught my attention but seeing it up close and personal was amazing. The vocals interlaced with each other was perfection, especially as Taylor responds to Bon Iver. I really connected it to the struggles of Seth Rollins in the latter half of 2019, how he seemed to be exiled from the WWE, how his initial opponent Kevin Owens was having his flaws disregarded to drag Seth down, the ‘Always Keep Fighting’ shirt that he wore (raising money for mental health chairties) adding insult to injury for Seth, who had even briefly deactivated his twitter to clear his headspace following attacks/death threats from a fellow wrestler’s fan base. ‘I gave you every sign’ rings true here, the man was struggling and no one seemed to care.

My Tears Ricochet - My WWE ass was happy to see another Wrestler reference after The Man. So this was an interesting look, but I got another story that intrigued me, a man having been involved in a tumultous connection with the songs narrator showing up to her funeral to save face. Listeners drew parraells with the recent Masters drbarkle with Scott Borchetta, head of Big Machine Records with whom Taylor was once signed to, and I have to say it’s a good perspective to take.

Mirrorball - This one took a while but I ended up loving the fact she could sing from a Mirrorball’s perspective and still make an epic song. I loved the part about always fitting in with the crowd because at functions/discos where mirrorballs are used, the lights will change to fit the mood and being a reflective surface, Mirrorballs will reflect the colour change.

Seven - This was a nice ditty about a past friend Taylor once had. I really loved the line ‘Please picture me in the weeds before I learned Civility’ it gives a more sophisticated parraell to Never Grow Up.

August - This is the second in the love triangle songs, and I loved the storytelling aspect as Taylor paints the picture of an affair that Summer Nights would quake in it’s boots if it heard about it. She sweeps up the adience in the Mistresses POV, showcasing the sweetness of love and the sting of toxcisity.

This is me trying - Where are those who said Taylor Swift plays the victim in her songs? Because this is for them. Taylor states in this her regrets of wasted potential, broken relationships etc. at the end of the day no matter how many awards she has, records she breaks, or money she possesses, Taylor Alison Swift is a human being, and we should give her boundries to grow and flourish.

Illicit Affairs - This track title also intrigued me, and whilst it does what the title says, and discusses the highs and lows of the secret passions of mismatched lovers, the second verse & bridge stood out to me the most. The way Taylor’s voice went up on him in the line ‘Leave the perfume on the shelf that you picked out just for him.’ Drew my attention as she later did the same thing on the word high, this had to mean something. And given that we don’t know the narrators gender, this could also be a song about a closeted gay man who’s found love but is struggling to accept this relationship. Whereas the bridge reminded me a lot of the Adam & Hannah breakup in Season 4 of Girls in the episode Sit In where Hannah denounces Adam’s nickname of kid, which he had called her by since the first season, with the episode before that showing her heartbroken that Adam has gotten a new girlfriend behind her back and thus turns into a mess locked in her apartment for a day and two nights. it was a heartbreaking part of the show, one that shifted it into a new era for better or for worse, and the entirety of this reasonated with me.

Invisible String - Around this point was where melotonin kicked in for me on my first listen, so I’ve heard this less than the other songs, but I love how it discusses her relationship with Joe & how for better or for worse, he is hers. It continued the theme with them on Lover of not having a great picturesque love, but having ups and downs like any couple.

Mad Woman - The calmer sister of The Man, she won’t throw big production and actions around, she can take you down with words alone. The track stings brutally as Taylor takes down sexism as it exists in our world today, and even sadly paints a visual of how it must have been for women back in the day fighting for equal rights. ‘Does a scorpion sting when fighging back?’ Line was annother connection, as I was reminded of Vanessa Ives from Penny Dreadful and how the animal symbology that stuck with her was a scorpion, used to great effect in the Season 2 finale in a confrontation with Lucifer’s makeshift doll of her. The chorus line ‘And you’ll poke the bear till her claws come out, and you’ll find something to wrap your noose around’ stuck with me on my listens, and really shows how men will strike and then run away saying ‘it’s a joke, she’s hysterical’ etc. the part about women loving to hunt witches also reminded me of a Doctor Who episode called ‘The Witchers’ and also reminded some listeners of how Demi Lovato took Scooter Braun’s side in the Licencing debarkle, in fact in the first part of the bridge, the song also has a double meaning. It’s also about the state of affairs following Taylor’s songs being stolen from her. The part in the bridge about the wives knowing about their Spinster husbands having affairs and not wanting to show their anger for fear of being outcast like the titular woman is angsty but so lyrically genius.

Epiphany - I had to listen to this a couple of times but once I realised what it was about, I was in shock. This is about her Grandfather Dean who she mentioned in the intro who fought in a war. The song paints the war setting with the helmet, the flesh wound and the rifle within the first few words, and I especially loved the line ‘And some things we don’t speak of.’ because it talked about how some soldiers develop PTSD from their experiences, yet don’t want to discuss them for fear of being perceived as weak. Also the outro beat sounds like a radar scanning for a plane, and the beat of the drum sounds like bombs exploding, really adds to the War theme.

Betty - This is the final track in the love triangle story as it tells the story of James as he fights to earn back Betty’s love after he has an affair with Inez. The eventual pitfalls of Illicit Affairs have come for Inez which causes her to tell Betty of their affair, which is a nice link. This songs gives a classic Greese/Christine/Cheesy 80s Film meets Trixie Mattel vibe which I loved. I also loved the callbacks to August & Cardigan, along with the casual F bomb droppings.

Peace - This is another sweet love song for Joe which calls back to Cruel Summer, Cornelia Street & Dancing With Our Hands Tied as Taylor struggles with the connection she has established with Joe, and contemplates escaping, but eventually knows she’ll stay. How the entire world will be on them, but she’ll be by his side through it all. Similar to Invisible String but different all at once and a perfect penultimate track to lead to the last song.

Hoax - The sweetness brings us to the double edged sword of a closing track. Giving a shattering realisation that love can be tricky at times, the references to Call It What You Want ‘I am ash from your fire’, The Archer ‘You know the hero died so what’s the movie for?’ & ... So It Goes ‘You knew you won so what’s the point of keeping score’. Taylor loves Joe so much that when they fight it’s as painful as when she became Pop Culture Enemy #1 back in 2016. But no matter what, she says herself ‘Don’t want no other shade of blue but you. No other sadness in this world would do’ relationships are always painful, there is no happy endings all round, but there is still love to be found.

All in all this is an incredible album & @taylorswift you have created magic and I hope you know that myself & all the Swifties are so proud of you for flexing your writing skill and crafting such a stunning album.

[you-turn-it-into-light]

KEIKO – Lantana (2020) Album Review

I’m a bit late to the party, but I was hoping to review Keiko’s debut album after it came out. I’m so happy this album is finally out, it’s been a long time coming. 

Overall thoughts:

The cover for the Limited-Edition A is super pretty. It’s simple and effective. The Super-Duper Limited Edition’s cover is super ugly to me though. I hate the brown and the pink and the way there’s just a square in the middle of the cover. Yuck.

 I don’t like the main outfit either. The two pieces are okay separately (the jacket’s still kind of gaudy) but together it just looks messy. Two different textures and patterns and two different colour pallets is just a no go.

It’s a bit of a shame that there was only really one new song but hearing the studio versions of the other songs were nice and it gave some room to compare.

Be Yourself

Nope, still don’t like it. The song is so generic sounding I didn’t like it when I first heard it and I still don’t. The lyrics don’t make the song any better either. The arrangement is also weird – Why does the pre-chorus try to bring to mood up with a couple of interesting drum phrases only for the chorus to go to a boring repetitive rock beat, with the bass and guitar just plodding along? The only ‘outstanding’ thing about this song is that is has Keiko hit an F#3 and an F#5 which is pretty cool.

七色のフィナレ (Nanairo no Finale)

I was disappointed by this song. It’s boring and repetitive and I’m not a big fan of the arrangement. The lyrics are generic, but I don’t expect much from a beginner lyricist like Keiko. I wish there were more because the ‘lalalala’s got a little annoying. The only part I kind of like is the first verse and the ‘todoku kana’ part because it sounded a little dramatic.

 始まりは (Hajimari wa)

I like the instrumentation and beat of this song, it’s catchy and interesting to use such minimal phrases to get such an interesting sound. I’m not a fan of Keiko’s singing style here at all, the vowels are pronounced in a way that seems so forced. Keiko’s voice doesn’t suit this type of song very much, but I would’ve preferred her usual singing style to this. Overall, it’s a fine song and I don’t dislike it?

茜 (Akane)

Okay, I know I haven’t been very positive thus far and I’m disappointed to say that this isn’t the exception. I don’t like this song at all really. It sounds like a discount worldly Yuki Kajiura song and to me everything about this song is forgettable. The instrumentation, the arrangement, the melody, the lyrics, and even the singing is forgettable. The ‘nobashitemo’ is also super annoying imo. Let’s hope I can be more positive in the next song.

溜息の消える街 (Tameiki no Kieru Machi)

I wish this song sounded like the live. The live version was more atmospheric with emphasis on the acoustic guitar, but this studio version has emphasis on the electronic rhythm which really isn’t my cup of tea. If the lyrics were less world building and mysterious I think it’d fit the song more and make the lyrics and the instrumentation sound less like two contrasting elements of a weirdly jumbled picture. Speaking of lyrics, I wish the ending weren’t just a repeat of the first verse. It would’ve been nice for a conclusion of sorts. The melody of this song is very nice and Keiko’s voice in her normal deep timbre makes it sound lovely. I especially love the ‘itsumadedemo uuuuhhh’ it hits my heart in a special way.

Ray

This song is pretty dramatic, it has interesting electronic elements which leads up to a heavy (but a bit generic sounding) chorus. I really love the melody in the pre-chorus, and I like the melody of the chorus. The disappointing factor for me is Keiko’s singing style. Unlike Hajimari wa, this song fits a deeper voice so much better but she for some reason decided to go with this style of weird vowels shapes that don’t fit the song at all and sound like she’s trying too hard. It doesn’t change much in the chorus which unfortunately makes the high notes sound more shouty than resonant.

夕顔 (Yuugao)

Very pleasant surprise. When I first listened to the song I found to be quite melancholic and depressing and that still sticks with me. This song isn’t relaxing to me at all. The melody in the verse is a little annoying and repetitive (I kept trying to end the second phrase with B3 instead of an E4 because I thought that sounded more conclusive), the melody for the rest of the song is so nice and melancholic I love it. The ‘futari de’ especially is lovely. Keiko’s voice is lovely in this song, very quiet and controlled and not cutesy.

エンドロール (End Roll)

Very cool! The arrangement is quite simple, but I think it works rather than detracts. The chorus is my favorite part with the parts that go back and forth, it’s super catchy to me. I quite like that digital effect they use in the chorus, I can’t describe it well but it sounds like an explosion that comes down at the song continues. The only thing I’m not a fan of is Keiko’s singing style of the verses, she uses that annoying vowel sound again (The ‘o’ sounds especially are quite grating imo) and I prefer the live version. If I were to describe this song in a sentence, it’d be ‘Simple yet effective’.

Change The World’s Color

Nope, not a fan. The first thing I thought when I heard the first 10 seconds of this song was ‘wow this sounds like an anisong’ and boy was I right. This song is on about the same level of generic as Be Yourself, but only with added cheesy anisong strings. I found it impressive that Keiko reached a C5 twice in the song, good on her. Not much to say other than even though I don’t like it, it somehow still ends up in my head 24/7.

命の花 (Inochi no Hana)

Keiko’s debut song… it’s boring. The melody is fine but ultimately forgettable. I like the ‘kimi no negau michi e’ part in the bridge but that’s really about it. Keiko’s singing is as lovely as usual, but the song simply doesn’t carry it. For her first lyrics, they’re fine, about as good as I expect from a beginner lyricist. I also cannot forgive using synth violins when you’re a big record label and you’re using them for an artists debut song, ugh.

Overall, I’ve been pretty harsh and negative. Keiko’s singing skills are as great as always, but her singing style can be wonderful and immersing at best and grating at the worst. The songs have a lot of variety, but only two of them really stood out to me as being anything interesting compared to songs of the same style. I’m hoping that Keiko as a solo artist has more interesting things coming up!

[untitledtallgeesepodcast]

There were a total of five OSTs released for Gundam Wing (the fifth was dedicated to the music of Endless Waltz, which will not be covered in this post or this playlist). Caitlin asked if I (Cathy) would create a playlist of my favorites. I didn't think she expected I would also write a novel. But here we go.

Let’s listen to some of the music of Gundam Wing!

(All song titles will be described with their English name and also the strangely romanized Spotify name.)

There are three main categories of Gundam Wing OST songs: (1) shoot 'em up fighting tracks which usually feature loud riffs, drums, and blats and blares coming at you at the same speed and frequency of mobile suits firing pointlessly at the Gundams, (2) instrumental, orchestral songs meant for the intermission period of a ballet that was never written or performed, or (3) synthy stuff with saxophones that wouldn't be out of place in a dingy rainy bar scene of a tame movie from the 80s. Most of the really recognizable tracks are in the first OST. OST 2 tends towards less interesting instrumental waltz-like stuff, Sanq Kingdom ballroom music as I've termed it in my head. They're fine, tolerable pieces of music, but you don't hear them and instantly think "Gundam Wing." By the time you get to OST 3, you're digging into the really deep cuts of Gundam Wing OST tracks, some of which I don't remember being in the show at all. (OST 4 is almost entirely character songs.)

We open with two of the best OPs—nay, songs—to have ever been made, "Just Communication" and "Rhythm Emotion," both by TWO-MIX. "Rhythm Emotion" was not, as you may have imagined, a mid-season swap-out. It was only used for about 10 episodes, and you may have even forgotten what it sounded like until just this moment, but "Rhythm Emotion" is no slacker. With alien, wintery synths that make you feel like you're soaring through the sky and between enemy mobile suits, this is one of those songs you would hear heavily remixed for knock-off DDR machines in arcades for years to come. The breakdown is cheesy, overemotional, and yet gives me the same goosebumps I would feel, years later, when listening to Love Live's "Snow Halation." Its more accomplished older sister, "Just Communication," dates itself from its opening note, but it owns its place in time and history unapologetically. Timeless, instantly recognizable, and eminently singable, you could, as Caitlin says in Episode 1, play this in a karaoke room full of randos and you're guaranteed to have someone scream along. There are some songs that make everyone feel like the star of their own shounen anime when they hear it, and "Just Communication" is one of them. Turning it up full volume in your car is like blasting "Take My Breath Away" while speeding on a motorcycle with a leather jacket. You are invincible through all 4:20 minutes of this song.

After that, perhaps one of the most famous instrumental tracks from the series: "The Wings of a Boy that Killed Adolescence / Shisyunki wo Koroshita Syonen no Tsubasa." (That boy is Heero Yuy. I know you know that, but this OST makes it explicit with its last instrumental track, "Code Name Heero Yuy," which is just another version of this melody.) There are a lot of songs like this, fighting tracks that hurry along at a clip, heroic but a little bit anxious ("When the Dragon Swims / Ryu ga Oyogutoki...," "Break Out," "Scattering Left Light / Kakusansuru Zanko" which barely sounds like music and is clearly hoping to be the soundtrack to your next laser tag game). I want to call out among them "Mission Accomplished / Ninmu Suiko," which has a last half that is so tied in my head to the world of Gundam Wing that when I hear it, I am instantly transported. It's almost a letdown that it's just an OST track, because it builds up such amazing tension that it releases just as quickly. "Mission Accomplished" is a bridge between these energetic tracks and more headbang-y, hard metal type fight songs like "Use the Cloak of Darkness / Kurayami Karano Tsukai," one of my all-time favorite guitar riffs from the GW OSTs. A lot of OST 1 is full of this "Enter Sandman" type stuff, though you still get reprises in the later OSTs, like "Well-Planned Tactics / Butsuryo Sakusen." The back half of "Cloak of Darkness," though, is a completely different track, this time pure fascist military fantasy. A lot of OSTs were like this, two short BGMs together masquerading as a one- to two-minute track. I'm not sure if it was just more expensive to list out a bunch of 45 second tracks, or if Otani Kou just ran out of emo names for all of them.

One thing I didn’t realize until this project is that there are no less than five variations on Relena’s theme in OST 1 alone:

Soft Hair and See-through Eyes / Yawarakana Kami...

Inside the Girl's Heart... / Syojyo no Mune no Oku Niwa...

To Beauty, to Elegance, and to Noble-mindedness / Karen ni Yuga ni...

I Feel Like I Can Cross Even That Rainbow Bridge / Ano Niji...

As Relena Peacecraft / Relena Peacecraft Toshite

When you've heard one, you've heard them all, so I’m putting on "Soft Hair...,” the wonderfully 80s and slightly boozy "adult contemporary" version of it, completely with a Kenny G sax. The others feel much more pure and dignified, especially "To Beauty...," which I think of as "waltz music" as it shows up in many of the early series' ballroom scenes. ”Rainbow Bridge..." is a worthy remix/variant, and for another similar boozy 80s feel, also try "Coolheaded Bloodthirstiness / Reitetsu na sakki" from OST 1. While I’ve left most of this playlist in chronological album order, I’ve moved up "I Believed We'd Meet / Kanarazu Aeruto Shinji” from OST 3. This track is not particularly noteworthy to me, but I leave it here as an example of how even later in the series, Otani Kou makes references to this refrain, even if it's not played note for note.

Because like any good soundtrack, Gundam Wing reuses themes and motifs. "Searching for Peace Buried Amid the Corpses / Shikabane ni Umoreta..." and "That Clown Doesn't Need Make Up for Tears / Sono Doukeshi..." share the same melody, only one is a fighting song and another is a mourning song. I actually like the rendition in "Hourglass of a Sad Color / Kanashimi-iro no Sunadokei" (also from OST1) better, but while "Hourglass" is a straightforward BGM track, "That Clown..." shows off one of the more interesting aspects of the Gundam Wing OSTs: its frequent blending of synths, cheesy sax, and more classic orchestral strings. You can hear it in second half of "That Clown...", but also in tracks like "Unknown Pressure / Michi no Pressure," or OST 3's " Behind The Scenes of The Blackout / Anten no Butaiura de," which is a typical "woe is me" orchestral track that is for some reason constantly interrupted by digital "beep boop" mumblings. Without that blend, you're left with a lot of grave-sounding tracks with bombastic Phantom of the Opera-worthy brass sections, like "Soldiers Who Don't Have a Gravepost / Bhyounaki Senshitachi" or "Legend of Zero / Zero no Densetsu." Not that those songs are bad, which is why I include the last of the instrumental tracks from OST 3: "Who Will Give Their Life / Darega Tameni Inochi," which takes itself very seriously and very earnestly, just like the show itself.

One of the other frequent moods of these OST is anxiety, perhaps no better demonstrated than "You Can Hear a Voice Calling the Soul /Tamashii wo Yobu Koe ga Suru", which has a guitar emitting screeches of existential despair. “Signs of Consciousness / Ishiki no Taido" is from this same school, but its second half is more "I am walking into a rave already a few minutes into what I know is going to be a bad trip," which is not really a mood I remember from the series itself. By the time you get to OST 3, you start venturing into tracks that wouldn't be out of place in a horror film. You can hear an example of it in "The Eyes of a Mobile Doll / Mobile Doll no Me," which is on this list because it sounds like a fever dream, but you could also check out "The Abandoned Horse of the Age / Jidai no Sutegoma," which is not on this playlist and has the same effect. Some of them, like "I Don't Like Fairytales / Otogi-banashi wa Sukijyanai," are inspiringly atmospheric, almost hypnotic. Is Gundam Wing horror? [Treize Voice] Yes, the Horror of War.

Some quick call-outs in the odds and ends group: “Tokimeite Harmony” is the 3x4 theme, a literal duet between a violin and a flute, and it’s there for that reason and that reason alone. I could not tell you for the life of me where in the series “Yasuragi no Hitotoki...”, “Kizuna,” “Sonzai Syomei,” or “Kioku no Gyakuryu” come from, but they sound like beautiful tracks from a video game I’ve never played. Similarly, “That Day Was The Last Day I Saw Your Smile / Anohi Saigo ni Mita Egao” is uncharacteristically fluttery and beautiful for a Gundam Wing OST piece, an almost Ghibli-esque track which nevertheless ends on an anxiety-inducing note of unrest.

And finally, the character songs. I leave you with one for each of the six main characters, and then a bonus.

Heero Yuy: "With Only My Words / Oredake no Kotoba de." Did you expect Heero's singing voice to sound like this? Neither did I. I have no idea why they thought this was a good image song for Heero. It's not. I leave it here because you must listen to it. The better "sounding" song is "Flying Away," which shows up in this CD later, but it doesn't give me the same dissonance as this one.

Duo Maxwell: “Wild Wing.” "Good Luck & Good Bye" is the superior song. (there's a little bit of Wang Chung “Everybody Have Fun Tonight" to it), but the sheer hilarity of this chorus (WILD WING BOYS!) means that i have to include it.

Trowa Barton: “Clown / Doukeshi.” What to say about this? This is a typical ballad, something you may play during a romantic moment of a kdrama or during the slow motion death scene in a Hong Kong film that would be released around the same time as GW was. I feel bad for Nakahara Shigeru who clearly is straining himself singing this. but it is nothing if not period accurate.

Quatre Raberba Winner: “Star’s Gaze / Hoshi no Manazashi.” Poor Orikasa Ai. Quatre’s voice is passably bishounen in the series itself, but it's hard to hide that his seiyuu was a woman when it came to the image songs. That said, her voice has a much fuller quality than her fellow pilots, and this is actually a decent-enough filler song. You could imagine debuting an idol maybe in the late 80s with this track.

Chang Wufei: “Knock at Tomorrow's Door / Asu eno Door wo Tatake.” If Wing were a kpop group, Wufei would be the rapper. You don't get to argue with me here. It's hard enough to imagine Wufei actually singing, but Ishino Ryuzou's singing voice also doesn't bear that much resemblance to the voice he adopted for the character. 

Relena Peacecraft: “Love is Not Crying Yet / Ai wa Mada Nakanai.” One of the most unexpected of the image songs is this bossa nova inspired track for Relena. Like Orikasa's ballad, this song almost works as a real song, and the purity of Yajima Akiko's voice is incredibly charming, which makes it all that more surprising that she's actually best known for being the seiyuu to the eponymous Shin-chan of Crayon Shin-Chan.

I do not include the image songs for Zechs and Treize, simply because they're boring. Both of them are extremely well-known and popular seiyuus, who have since done a number of musical projects. You can tell that they will fare better at that endeavor than Trowa’s seiyuu, but there's really nothing interesting to say about their songs. As always, the men of Gundam Wing are shown up by their female counterpart: Lady Une's "Brightness & Darkness" is positively anthemic and fun to listen to. Sayuri doesn't hit all the notes perfectly, and you can sense there is Fleetwood Mac / Stevie Nicks impersonator out there who could really knock this one out of the park, but if I were to keep one image song out of the whole bunch, it'd be this one.

[artxmisery]

ANSWER THEM A L L L LL LL L H AH HAHHEHAHEHAHAHAHAH HAH AHH AHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAH AHA HAHAHHAHAHA

Here we go! 1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? No reason, in particular, just the fact that my life is a confusing mess.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? Not really, no.

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Yes, but mostly because I’d be concerned for their safety.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Hell no.

5: What were you doing at 11 PM last night? Failing quite badly at sleep.

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? Hopefully a friend.

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Cut ties and tell them to do better next time.

8: Are you close with your dad? Eh, relatively.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? God, I wish. Sort of.

10: What are you listening to? The Silent Confessions album by sad boy with a laptop

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Plain old water.

12: Do you like hickeys? Not particularly.

13: What time do you go to bed? Before midnight, if I’m lucky.

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Nope.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? More or less.

16: Do you always answer your texts? In time, yes.

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? A minute or two ago.

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Most of my friends tbh.

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I haven’t the foggiest.

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? Nope.

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Absolutely.

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? For sure.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? A little bit.

25: In the past week, have you cried? Yep.

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Grey.

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? Once in a blue moon, yeah.

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? I hope not.

29: Do you have a best friend? Not one person in particular, no.

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? Not particularly.

31: Who was your last call/text message from? My mum.

32: Are you mad at anyone? Myself.

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? A few times.

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

35: How many more days until your birthday? 167.

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Stay inside. And that’s about it...

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Yeah.

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? Perhaps.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Absolutely.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Not really.

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? Depends on the context. Most of the time, yes.

42: Are you available? Quite.

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? A few.

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Nose, probably.

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? Absolutely.

46: Do you regret anything? Nearly everything I’ve ever done.

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Entirely too much.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Sort of, but not really.

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? No.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? Assorted reasons, mostly because I’m a coward and it’s complicated.

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Yes.

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Yes.

53: What was the last thing you ate? Fried rice with an egg over the top.

54: Did you get any compliments today? Not really.

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? I don’t know yet.

56: Do you own anything from other countries? Quite a bit, even if we’re only talking souvenir-type stuff.

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Guys, I guess.

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Washington.

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? A couple days ago.

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? Once or twice, yeah.

61: Have you ever TP’d someone’s house? House? No.

62: Who do you text the most? Text? My immediate family, probably. Discord, who knows.

63: What was the last movie you saw? I honestly don’t recall, it’s been a long time.

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? Ahahahahaha...

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? None.

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Yes.

67: Do you curse around your parents? I try not to.

68: Are you happy with where you live? More or less, but there are definitely places I’d rather live.

69: Picture of yourself? Nah.

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? Depends on the context, but I think that a healthy open relationship could 100% work.

71: Have you ever been dumped? Not really.

72: What do you most like about making out? Physical intimacy.

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Maybe once? But no, not really.

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Generally the other.

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Eyes, most of the time.

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? A friend of mine.

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? Nope.

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? Nope.

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Depends on the person, but most of the time probably not.

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? A few times.

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? I certainly hope not.

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? A good deal.

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? A couple of months now? I think?

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? Nope.

86: How can I win your heart? Just existing is sufficient most of the time. Kindness helps.

87: What is your astrological sign? Capricorn.

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Failing quite badly at sleep.

89: Do you cook? A few times a week.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? No.

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? Somewhat, yeah.

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I generally stick to one relationship to see if it works out.

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Not many, honestly.

94: Name four things that you wish you had! The ability to shapeshift. Or go back in time. Significantly more money. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

95: Are you a player? Nope.

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Once or twice

.97: Are you a tease? Sometimes.

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Don’t think so.

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yes.

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Absolutely.

101: Hugs or Kisses? Hugs.

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? Always.

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their voice, generally.

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? Can be.

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in a relationship, would you go for it? Depends on if I know them and their partner(s). Generally, no.

106: Do you flirt a lot? Sometimes.

107: Your last kiss? It happened, yes.

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? Yes.

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? I wish.

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? [redacted]

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? Nope.

112: Does someone like you currently? I doubt it, but I can hope.

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? Yep.

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious, all the way.

115: Ever made out with just a friend? The ones I have didn’t stay that way long, one way or another.

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? I think it generally goes the other way around, honestly.

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sounds-like-humpty-dumpty]

Mistakes (Part 2)

Summary: “"Y/N?" He breathed down the line. His voice unbelieving. "What?" She tried to sound snappy but it came out rather sad than angry. "Fuck, Y/N." There was shuffling on the other end. Then: "Hi. How are you? How have you been? Shit. I can't believe you actually picked up." He had the audacity to chuckle. She could tell he was drunk by the way he slurred the words a little. Y/N remained quiet.”

Angst, Van x Reader

Part 2 of 10 

(Part 1)

Y/N

She was sitting in her small single room that she occupied in a flatshare in the east of London. Tapping away on her laptop.

A couple of days after Van left, she managed to form this void inside her. She called it the grey void of nothingness. She could feel neither happy nor sad. She just existed. Numb. It was a coping mechanism. 

Every now and then she would slip. The grey turning black and the emotions crashing down on her. Then she would cry and howl and curse the whole fucking world.

But the grey void of nothingness helped her get things done. 

Helped her find a flatshare, where she could afford the rent. 

Helped her pack her stuff together and leave the house she had called home for years. 

Helped her wipe away any traces of her existence in it.

For a short moment when she packed all her belongings into boxes, she thought about leaving all the presents he had bought her. The dress she had tried on during their visit in New York, but after looking at the price tag, decided she would leave it in the store, just to find it in her suitcase after landing back home. The necklace he had given her with his initials as pendants. The cheesy love letter he had written her once after they had a huge fight and she pretended to move back to her parents.

However, she decided that she didn't want him to have those things of her either. So she gave the dress and necklace to charity and burned the letter. The void of nothingness helping her being less sentimental about the memories. 

....

She had a good streak that week. Hadn't slipped for four days. Just lived and breathed and worked. Distracted herself from the memories and emotion that lurked behind the thin wall in the back of her mind. They were ready to emerge and overwhelm her whenever she made the mistake of thinking about him. Even if it was just for a second. Last time she slipped was because she was shopping with a friend when she found a jacket. She thought about how good it would look on him and then remembered that it didn't matter because she would never see him again anyway. The emotions came crashing in then and she had to excuse herself and dart to the restrooms so people wouldn't see her crumbling down in public. She cried herself to sleep that night and woke up in nothingness the next morning.

She was sure she would have lasted longer than four days if it hadn't been for her phone ringing. Van's picture appearing on her screen. She couldn't pick up.

——— Van

He rang again. And again after that. And again. He even left a couple of voicemails: "Y/N pick up. I just wanna talk, okay?" "Fuck Y/N. Pick up your fucking phone." He even sent her some texts: "Please, can you pick up your phone? I just want to talk." "Y/N?" "Y/N, please. You don't have to say something. Just pick up yeah?"

He just wanted to know she was there. Wanted to know she still existed. But his texts and calls stayed unanswered.

——— Y/N

Van gave up after an hour. She hadn't turned the phone off. Just cried harder with every call she didn't answer. Like a masochist who couldn't get enough of the pain. Her crying lasted well through the night and into the early morning hours. How easy it would have been, if she could have just picked up. If she could have just listened to what he had to say. But the pain kept her from answering. Fear and a tiny bit of anger, too. What could he have said to make this better anyway? Nothing.

Nothing could make this better. The pain was there, he had caused it and it wouldn't go away. Nothing could make it stop.

——— Van

It's been a month since he came back home to their empty house. His empty house. He had bought it. It was his. And yet it didn't feel like it. It didn't feel like his house or his home. It just felt like another place to stay at. Like one of the houses, he and the lads stayed at while recording their last album. Familiar but not home. Not like it belonged to him. Not like he belonged in it.

He threw himself into work. Wrote song after song. Made the band fly to Berlin and then to Oslo just to write and record a few demos for their new album. Everything so he wouldn't have to spend too much time in that house. But the others quickly grew tired of his relentless work ethics and intervened. Van had no choice but to take a break. He decided to spend it with his parents up north.

However, he already began regretting this decision the first day he went home, as his mother asked him how Y/N was doing. Of course, he lied, said she was doing fine, just busy with work. He couldn't admit that they had split. If he mentioned it, he would also have to justify why. And he couldn't explain why he did what he did. He was too ashamed of it. But his parents could see how restless he was. They wanted to help. When they recognised that Van wouldn't spill what was bothering him, they turned to the only other person who would know. And while Larry didn't want to rat Van out, he, too, was worried about his best friend's behaviour. So Larry, who knew Van had broken up with Y/N, told them just that, hoping Van would finally come to terms with it.

...

Bernie sighed as he watched his son mindlessly strumming on the guitar. He knew Van, knew how stubborn he could be. How easily offended he could get if he felt ganged up on. "You need to talk to Y/N." He said and Van looked up at the mention of her name. Van furrowed his brows, not quite realising that his father knew.  "Even if it's just to end things properly. But son, you can't go on like this." Van understood then, that Bernie somehow had found out, and he clenched his jaw. "I tried, yeah?" he spat back. "I fucking tried but she won't answer the fucking phone. I don’t even know where she lives now." Mary, who had listened to their conversation from the kitchen, came into the room and commented "I still don't understand why you did it in the first place. I thought you were happy, the two of you. Last time we saw you, you went on about marrying that girl." Van got up, not caring about the guitar that hit the ground with a painful sounding thump. He wordlessly walked out of the room and towards the front door. He opened and slammed it shut, leaving his helpless parents behind. Heading for the next pub.

——— Y/N

It had been about a month since Van had called her. Two since they broke up. No, since he broke up with her.

Van's name appeared on her screen. This time it wasn't accompanied by his photo. She had deleted it. It was late in the evening and she was watching a movie on her laptop, trying to fall asleep, when he called. She contemplated whether she should answer it or not. But she felt stable enough in that moment. And she reasoned that she could hang up any time if she should need to. So she pressed the green button to accept.

There was silence on the other side. For a moment she wondered if he would say anything at all. She definitely wouldn't make the start. "Y/N?" He breathed down the line. His voice unbelieving. "What?" She tried to sound snappy but it came out rather sad than angry. "Fuck, Y/N." There was shuffling on the other end. Then: "Hi. How are you? How have you been? Shit. I can't believe you actually picked up." He had the audacity to chuckle. She could tell he was drunk by the way he slurred the words a little. Y/N remained quiet. When Van noticed that he wouldn't get an answer, he sobered up a little. "Can we talk?" He asked. "We are talking." She answered. "No. No, I mean face to face." "No." Silence. "I miss you." Now it was Y/N's turn to chuckle. It was cold and sarcastic. Designed to mask the pain she was feeling. "Is that all?" She asked and was glad she didn't choke on the words. There was silence on the other end of the line, only Van's breathing. "I'm going to hang up now." She said and did just that, without giving Van the chance to object.

——— Van

He called her again the next night. This time less drunk. Hoping she would pick up again. To his astonishment, she did. "Hi" he greeted her. "What?" She sighed. "Just wanna talk, is all." He tried to sound nice, unthreatening. "I have nothing to say to you." She retorted. "That’s fine. You don't have to. I can do the talking." "Van, I'm tired." Silence. Van wanted to ask her to say his name again. But he feared she would just hang up if he did. "Ok, you can fall asleep while I talk, just- just don't hang up ok?" She didn't answer but also didn't hang up. "I-" he wanted to apologise. Wanted to tell her how sorry he was, but it just didn't feel right over the phone. "The lads and I were in Berlin a couple weeks back. Remember that time we went together?" He was met with silence but he kept on going. He told her news from Bondy, knowing how well she got on with him. Told her about Larry and Bob and Benji and what they were all up to. He kept on rambling over an hour, always finding new stories to tell her. So much had happened in the two months. 

Of course, he left out the stories that happened during the nights when he was drinking too much, picking fights with his friends because he wanted to scream and make them feel as angry as he felt. 

When he didn't have any more stories left to tell, he quietly asked into his phone: "Y/N?" She mumbled "Hm?" He knew she was almost asleep, so didn't answer. Just kept quiet and pressed his phone closer to his ear so he could hear her breathing. When it evened out and he was sure she was fully asleep he softly said "I'm sorry, I fucked up." and hung up.

2/10

(Part 3)

[curious-minx]

Heat Lamp vol. [i]

A how-to guide on harnessing the very best light for your under-lit overly priced hovel! In Style!

“Lighting is everything, you goon!” spits Magda Marlene, and, of course, she’s absolutely correct.

“Don’t call me a goon, Magda! I’m trying my best. Have you ever tried shopping around for the best possible lights? Of course not. The challenge of conceiving of wattage and luminosity in the abstract blue light tech etching our basic human retinas will never compete with the likes of you. “ Elroy wipes away the trail of verbiage slipping down his prominent jawline. He attempts to grab at Magda to make her take him seriously, but it was impossible, because after all she is enshrouded in light. She is the kind of bruising overwhelming beauty that is perpetually well lit. Magda has endured a panorama of over stuffed suits of testosterone tossing off a clip of one-liners about her “lighting up a room,” because she had already brightened her entire surrounding vicinity. Light seeping out as far as several stories above and below whatever apartment is lucky enough to grace her presence. You had to alert your local neighboring Vampire’s of someone like Magda coming around. To forget would be akin to a hate crime. 

“I do take pity on you sallow beef man. You are close, so close I can nearly taste your success, but this lack of suitable lighting! This will  be your ruin. That’s what all the Entertainment and Arts are all about-,”

“Yes, the lighting! The wonderful bright, but not too bright lighting. I know Magda. Ugh! I much prefer if we go back to when you would stick to sending me laymen articles on the anatomy of human eyeballs and the latest breakthroughs in light-based therapy, but now all I hear is your dogmatic barking.” 

“You sure do talk a lot for a layman. Why did you want to touch me? Don’t tell me you’re starved for human contact!” 

“Of course not! Don’t be foolish! You know I’m not attracted to you. It’s the only reason why you even bother gracing me with your infernal light. Why won’t you sell some of your light source already?”

“Oh no no no, not this this again. I will have no further discussion about the selling off of my light.” 

“You won’t share your light, you won’t sell your light, but all I ever hear you go on and on about is the importance of light! Don’t you think you’re being a little selfish?” Elroy tries sizing Magda up and all around with his big soulful hazel  brown dopey puppy dog eyes. 

“What is this, ‘on and on’ slander? That’s a complete and total falsity! I barely even talk to you! You asked me to come over and help you pick out a new light. Yet here you stand insulting me and everything I represent. I knew all men were trash! I really wanted a reciprocal  easy going friendship receptacle. Like the ones you see on flashy American sitcoms, but no! Instead you reek of man boy desperation. You are not Easy Elroy, nor are you sleazy enough to warrant a pass. Good day!” And with that Magda leaves Elroy in his room. A room that is painted a banana baby sick off-scrambled eggs shade of yellow that made Elroy think of himself as a “warmed over Simpson” whenever he looks at himself with his overhead lights on. Magda leaves him behind so that she can go attend a life devoid of preening men devoid of any elevated levels of cognitive stimulus. Magda had a strong feeling deep inside that being eaten out by Elroy would feel either like the confectionary sugar clinging to a beater or a cow pondering the universe with a cud.  Magda has bigger prospects to attend such as the purchasing of a new Ultrasonic Television, a television for people too interesting to own a regular television. Now this is a process more grueling than picking out some sort of pathetic LED lights set out to emphasize poor life choices. 

Magda’s candles burn ferociously for the scented perfume wick of her occasional beaux Hillary. Oh sweet sister Hillary.  Magda flips a dizzy spell as she gets behind the wheel of her space craft. In the driver’s seat she grabs and teases pinching caresses onto her sides, hands running underneath her shirt and imagines Hillary’s hazy visage.  Magda turns on The Quick’s Mondo Deco, the album is lodged into the fourth track already, “Hillary.” The porto-phrenetic ASMR zipper crunch! The perfect symmetry of a song making sense for the right woman in the right space and time. Magda wishes she could be some special somebody’s Kim Fowley. She knew she has the making of a Valkyrie companion. Mostly a bottom, but occasionally there’s a switch…a candy striped hypnosis stick being cradled in Magda’s hand turns her space craft into autopilot. The space craft assumes a sensible soaring speed, sharing the sky with all the other avians and sky ships. Magda lands onto the fetid grassless knoll where she finds the manor of Scent Maven Monique. A west coast equivalent of a Hobbit Hole in the Hills. Except instead of a 5,7” English gentleman it is a 5,7” Black American bohemian scientist woman. Magda lights up one of Monique’s Pixie Stix a jolt of nicotine, THC, estrogen, nootropicals, and most importantly caffeine. Cigarettes that don’t make you smell like cigarettes, that don’t make you smell like anything, but a hint, a wink, a whisper, and a prayer of exotic bubblegum. 

A Vaping Assassin is prowling on her rooftop. Antonia, The Daycrawler, of course. A woman so intimidating in strength and beauty that all law officers around the country worship at her talon toes. Lines of swat teams, cops, and military official personally see fit the they get their asses beaten by Antonia’s hand each and every year at The National Cop Christmas Party. Monique is constantly alienating, offending and inspiring everyone she works with, but they usually only send soft assassins like Soy Hands Flannigan or the Detangler. Magda believes that this must be the opening salvo of a new killer regime. 

“Quit your daydreaming Magda Marlene! Are you really about to let me red rover your special number one gal? I am dropping through the ceiling now! Catch ya later!” Antonia is always narrating her actions to her blind brother Donovan who makes glass sculptures for an assassin’s memento. Some assassins keep locks of hair, some assassins keep emails, some assassins bond and indulge their impotent’s brother pop art. The giant blocky neon green rotary telephone with each notch designed with a mysterious suggestion of a dreary person. A lot of guilt trips about being sent to  mental institutions and the occasional rainbow clamshell birth control pill case. All glass blown by the Daycrawler’s blind and naive brother. Monique doesn’t stand a chance! 

“Oh no,” mouths Magda. She’s going to be vaporized by that tall Nordic pillar of mayhem. Quentin Tarantino might as well be hanging himself up here on Monique’s roof turning himself into the human satellite, beaming this impeding cyclone of beautiful woman on beautiful woman violence for all of his cronies to see. “Not today,” mouths Magda. With a flick of her wrist, bracelets of light begin forming and overlapping. Discs of light coursing up and down Magda’s forearm. Magda then hides her arms underneath her long and flowing cherry blossom trench coat. Magda’s light does not instantly light up the rest of Monique’s abode. Antonia is hiding her frustration and she looks around Monique’s mostly spacious and poorly lit living quarters. Seeing only a completely stainless steel coated mini-kitchen and a chest level table top. No chairs. No other furniture or trace of personality. Magda hopes that this cat and mouse game will grow less cheesy and the Daycrawler will soon leave irate and hungry. 

“Aha! You got me good Light Bright. Of course you knew she wasn’t here and distracted me. For such good work I will personally see to killing you myself. I haven’t murdered anyone in over twelve hours. Do you know how rusty an assassin can get in that time? First, I must take a shower. Surely this lab rat has some sort of hose or bucket and pulley system to wash herself?”Antonia begins sizing up the space, trying to squint a bathroom into existence. 

“I believe her bathroom is right next the front door. You must have accidentally passed in when you were getting yourself worked up into this bloodlust.” Magda suddenly feels completely at ease. Yes, she could easily blind and frankly obliterate this toned and blonde killing machine. Doesn’t matter though, because Magda realizes that she has this whole ordeal in her pocket and it’s only a matter of Antonia getting into that shower. Magda goes to raise her fist in conquest but then meets resistance. Antonia’s silent rope snakes! They are giving Magda the world’s most cold blooded group hug. Magda knows she must submit to the plan. She grimaces feeling the ridges of her teeth and wait to unleash her light show. 

////

Antonia has been in the shower for over and hour and half. Magda is only now starting to bruise because the rope snakes have grown lethargic and weak ever since the water started. The rope snakes are clinging on to Magda out of obligation and lethargy. The water stops and a shrill elongated sigh is heard from the bathroom. Antonia, the Daycrawler, emerges from heavy plump clouds of perfumed steam. Magda thinks she can detect a hint of Ceylon Cinnamon and gun smoke, but you can never tell with Monique and her smells. Antonia is a lot drier than you would expect for someone who has ostensibly been bathing for the past two hours and she is wearing an oversized clumsy kimono with her hair wrapped up in a towel. 

“Alright, where is she?” Antonia asks in a voice that is almost saccharine and faint. 

“She’s clearly not here. Let’s revisit the fact that you were going to behead me as a house warming gift. How about instead you rob me of one of my kidneys? They are oozing with glow-stick fluid, but they never stop glowing! Please don’t kill me!” Magda says fully aware that Antonia is not going to kill, at least not while she’s so fresh out of the shower. 

“That’s what I need to talk to her about. I suddenly no longer have my urge to kill! Not you, you, or anyone else ever again!”says Antonia breathless like she is hearing her voice for the first time.

“I thought you were killing out of profession?”

Antonia crouches down and is almost blushing as she asks, “Why are you still on the floor like that? Can’t you not fry us up some rope snake snacks? Or wait! Are you like me and need the sunlight to fully operate?” Antonia begins opening up every window and even trying to create new windows in Monique’s house to let the light in. 

“Fine! I’ll do it! You made me do it!” Magda unleashes her light that sets off as a retina unfriendly supernova. The light charged specifically around her arms were even still lit up and racing to be shot off as blades of light into the nearest surface. 

“See? That’s wasn’t so bad! Why do you get so…so conservative about using your light whenever you’re around me?”

“I don’t want to end up blinding or hurting anyone.” Magda says still on the ground facing onto Monique’s steel plated sterile floors. 

“Even someone who was moments ago trying to kill your friend and you for the thrill of murder?”

“Your an easy target Daycrawler,” Magda gathers herself back up into a standing stance,” You are exactly the type that would change your mind if given half a chance. I still feel like you could plunge your famous ribbon blade into my personal generator… ” Magda trails off realizing that Antonia is no longer listening to her. She is still running her reformed(?) killer’s hands through her honey flaxen unwieldy tower of hair that only a towering murderess could support. 

“That shampoo it’s, it’s going to help a lot of people. I’m waiting to see the catch. Like with her cancer-free candy cigarettes they’re too good to be true, right?”Antonia takes in another long inhalation of her own hair and takes one lock and flecks her tongue only at the tip of the follicle. The one blank wall inside Monique’s apartment spins around revealing Monique on the other side who steps up and says without missing a beat:

“They’re called Pixie Stix!” Monique fully emerges from her illusion wall hiding the hint of a laboratory.  She lights up a Pixie stick of her own which begins flooding the spartan space. Who needs furniture when you bask in a smell this sweet? Magda lets her guard down and lights up the rest of the space turning the formerly drab and empty hovel into a chic and spacious boutique. “Lighting!” Continues Monique, “With the right lights and an overwhelming pungent odor reveals the path to an enveloping inner peace. No matter how small or unfashionable your home or hovel happens to be there could possibly be an outlet for a chosen few people that the three of us could use to build our own society or something?” Monique turns on music by malodorous mall core cyborg nu metal pop band called Neon Betty Degenerates. Antonia goes over to Monique and gently forces Monique’s bangled and gloved clammy hand into a boisterous hand shake. A Kashmir blossom shaped pin attached to Monique’s vegan leather newsboy cap opens up and contracts. The blossom is spraying out a mist invisible to the human eyes, directed into Antonia’s face. Antonia then immediately releases Monique and she turns away from the gangly scientist, she unravels the towel from her hair and starts sprinting outside of Monique’s house. Antonia begins climbing up the lone ancient hundreds of feet tall redwood tree watching over Monique’s property. Antonia climbs up to the tree in record time, she is nothing but a blur of momentum and rustling branches. Antonia, the Daycrawler, jumps out into the sky with the grace of a flying squirrel leaving her nest, and she’s reached enough height so that she can use the heel of her shoe to write, “I’m sorry! <3 I will work on respecting your personal space” in a cloud-based font. 

Magda turns to Monique who has completely flipped open her furtive laboratory, revealing the glow of scent analysis technology calling out to Magda begging her to crank up the wattage. Before submerging back into her lab, Monique turns to Magda and tells her, “Antonia is seemingly the only person my Perfumed Personality is working on. Do you think that will be enough?” Monique directs this question more to the ether than to anyone in particular. 

“Looks like it’s really working on her though. Oh right, before you leave. I am going through this really tough crush on someone and was hoping that you’d have some-“ Magda stops talking. Monique enters her lab leaving Magda behind in the empty kitchen and the lingering vapors of the ethical strawberry and lavender pacifist shampoo. Magda knows that she probably won’t see Monique emerge back out from her work for another two weeks at the latest. Magda shivers and steps outside and all of her pent up light energy continues bursting forth from her navel, banners of light shooting from her forehead, spotlights dancing out of each of her fingertips. Magda’s light even causes the clouds that Antonia used as calligraphy to break into a sweat. The extreme daylight and the small patch of rain causes a family of foxes to burst forth from out of the ground and carry on a quick and sweet wedding. Magda climbs on top of a dune and watches the wedding ceremony from afar. She remembers Hillary and groans, a sticky and somber sound. Magda has her revery broken by the sound of a voice calling from below the dune.

“cOuld yOu pleeze take Our picha, lamp lady? Da lurvely cOupa wOuld be sO grateful!!” The source of the voice is coming from an approaching silver fox who has a slight wobble in his gait. Magda looks at the silver fox further and notices that he also has two plastic and springy legs. Magda not wanting to seem judgmental, sighs and takes the fox’s hefty Kodiak bridge cam and without even taking time to focus the lens takes the picture. The newly wedded couple and the silver fox open up the camera’s finder and look at the results and start panting in approval. They have never seen themselves look so well lit before. 

“Daddy! You must pay this kind lady Beacon mucho ancient coins! I’ve never looked this good!” Magda smiles and shakes her head and puts her hands into her pockets, leaving the foxes behind. She readjusts her trench coat and puts on a large wide-brimmed blackout hat she keeps in a box shaped fanny pack. Even while wearing her light suppression accessories each and every passing streetlamp emits a powerful sphere of light that dims with each of Magda’s passing step. Most of the houses in Magda’s neighborhood are heavily tranquilized and sleeping in deprivation tanks so the dramatic light fluctuations don’t bother most. One overhead apartment pulls back its drapes and an angry shirtless and chiseled man has taken out a mirror and trying to reflect the light back down at the street. The power of the light’s heat creates another pothole into the road, which causes the man to start swearing and yelling incoherently. Magda kneels down onto the empty sidewalk and rubs her palms together causing the street lights to dim back down to their normal level. Magda’s face looks pale and she begins moving at a slower pace.

“Damn…I’m so close. Being mindful of so many people really sucks. I think I’m going to lie down in this pile of moss and maybe I’ll wake up back in my bed.” Magda hums a lullaby to herself and begins folding herself into a ball of fading light. Magda is blacking out.

///

She opens up her eyes as soon as she registers motion. Magda is being carried in somebody’s arms! Magda almost cranks up her internal light furnace but then she smells the tangy coconut cologne of Elroy. 

“What did I tell you about picking up tramps?” Asks Magda with a yawn. “Put me down you goon!” Elroy immediately does so and gives Magda her space.

“Of course, I’m sorry Magda. I was out scouting shoot locations for a new headshot this week and saw your abandoned space craft on the side of road. Knowing you as well as I do I had a feeling that you were probably enjoying one of your unnecessary sojourns. Thankfully you left it in one of the bougiest possible neighborhoods so I think you’ll be fine with picking it up tomorrow. I’ll leave you be. Clearly you are wanting some time alone.” Elroy brushes off a twig out of Magda’s hair and starts walking back into his own shabbier Electric Hover Desert Rabbit.  

“Any luck with your lamp search?”asks Magda causing Elroy to stop in his tracks and turn around revealing an excitable grin.

“I found this Ponce de Leon Torchier that promises to age and de-age me based on what kind of bulb I put into it. There’s  this audition for a movie about a man breastfeeding his own child I got. The role comprises of both the child and the father, it’s a student film but the kid directing is supposed to have a real stash of connections.” Chatters Elroy, clearly trying to regain a sense of joviality between him and Magda. 

“I have actually never really bothered playing with light in that way before. How are you so good at online shopping? And here I was about to actually consider giving you a droplet of my very own light” sneers Magda as she enters through the lamp shaded gate of her parent’s compound. 

“What?! Really! Wait Magda I’ll gladly take some of your light off of your hands! Come on, come back!” Magda leaves Elroy behind once again and a roving street sweeper pushes him up the current of streaming sidewalk leading deeper into the Energy District. He calls out to Magda yelling her name as he’s being street swept away. Magda turns copper green with regret with even toying around with the idea of sharing any amount of light. Especially with a total goon like Elroy! The family leopard spotted moth, Sapphire, comes whooshing up to Magda giving her a silky kiss. Magda grins and brushes the silk away from her face and picks up a floating torch, lights it with her finger and tosses it as far as she can throw, which due to the pent up hormonal surging emotional cycle Hillary has gotten Mega into, turns out to be quite far. Sapphire flap flap flaps her wings into a column of speed and chases after the floating torch. The outside ladder leading to her room has been rolled up. 

“Because of course!” Sighs Magda as she slips off her cycling light up shoes, the tongue of her shoes light up with a balloon showcasing the amount of miles Magda has walked from Monique’s house, nearly fourteen, if only Elroy hadn’t gotten in the way. Inside both of her parents are stationary as always. Wires running from the back of both of their heads so that when they glance over at the door in unison you can see the pulses of light traveling at the same speed from both of their skulls. Magda parents disgust her and she really tries getting up stairs into her room as fast as possible. 

“Magpie! Get your cute little grown ass over here and tell me about this nice young man you’re considering giving up your light to!”

“Journey,” Magda says addressing her mom by her proper name which causes her mom to feign a twinge,”Why must you two always insist on watching the security feed whenever I am coming home. Every. Single. Time. Do you two expect me to be still be living here until either one of you finally burn out? Just so you can always have a little show of someone else’s lives to watch? You’re almost as much as a goon as that ‘boy’ you are referring to. You know him already, that’s Elroy, we’re just friends.”

“See Enterprise? What did I say?” Journey says peering directly into her husband Enterprise’s vacant light producing sockets. 

“Aw dawlin looks like I owe you thirty pulses! I knew I should have betted on our Magpie giving her light away to some respectable enterprising lesbian. You’re donating your light to science right Magpie? That’s why you left today?”

“I am not donating my light to anyone! I am not anyone’s generator ready to be milked and sapped away for all of my worth.”

“Magda you know your light is strong enough that you could be a really successful crime fighter, or you could even be just another lamp builder like your lil brother and sister.” Coos Magda’s father, Enterprise.

“Or, she can be nothing too! Fine by me! Keep on going missy, I can see how much you are burning to get back into your precious room. All I ask is that at some point tonight please help your siblings make some kind of dinner. Your dad and I are going to be all tied up for the rest of the night running double concurrent shifts. Those damn strikers! We don’t need em! Ow ow ugh I’ve got to be quiet and focus.” Journey rubs her temple which emits a spark. 

“Relax my love. This is just a rough patch. Once there is a serum manufactured we’ll be able to import more workers and we can recharge for the next decade. Maybe even more.” Enterprise says this to Journey and they hold each other’s hands not even minding that they are becoming entangled within one another’s connecting wires. Magda hears the quiet scrape scraping of her younger brother and sister’s lamp and neon shop that takes up most of the second floor. Magda ascends up one more floor and reaches her bedroom at the end of a hallway adorned with family portraits. Mainly of her siblings Gidget and Chester selling lamps around the world. See Gidget and Chester in Bali with a lamp made from resurrected coral reefs. There’s a picture of Gidget, Chester and both of her parents soft shoeing on the grave of Thomas Edison. See Gidget defile the Tesla’s tomb. Chester burning an effigy of Musk. There’s one picture of Magda and Sapphire, Magda is only visible as a beam of light. Magda opens up her bedroom and finds Antonia, the Daycrawler waiting for her, suspending herself from the ceiling. Rotating around like a monk’s slimy finger circling around the lip of a singing wine bowl. 

“Hiya there Miss Shiney! I brought you a present!” Antonia says this in her persistently chippier and bubblier voice that has not  subsided since taking her shower with Monique’s personality shifting scented shampoo. Monique raises her right eyelid causing  one of her dimmest overhead lights to come on. The light reveals reveals the sight of a  tied up woman sporting a bouncy pompadour sprawling out across Magda’s bed. Soy Hands Flannigan! 

“What am I supposed to do with an assassin? All I want to do is curl up and shop. God I sound pathetic.” Magda says attempting to hide the  anxiety spiking through the roof of her dome  coursing down to her toes. 

“She knows how you can find Hillary!”

That’s all it took. All Magda needed to hear was her name. The utterance of Magda’s one and only Hillary causes each and every one of Magda’s three hundred and eighty five lights adorning her bedroom to flare out bright beams of all encompassing light. The kind of light that only glows for a woman once thought lost and dead to the world soon to be rediscovered. Maybe, thinks Magda, having a reformed violent and dangerous assassin as a companion wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

[fmdxsujiarchive]

summary: a little word play, a reminder of her age, and the longing to reach higher  date: sometime in april word count: 1,427 words, excluding lyrics + a short explanation i included about the translation of the lyrics notes: creative claims (full lyrics & composition) verification self-para for 26! 

“have you ever considered rock before?”

suji’s obviously taken back by the question because no, she has never considered rock as a genre that she’d sing or even create. to her, rock appeared as a genre that was so far out of her line of interest that she hadn’t given a single thought to it. she imagines black leather and heavy electric guitar sounds along with a loud drum accompaniment. if she were asked to produce a rock song, perhaps she could from these elements that she knows of, but she does not think she would ever write one for herself. 

“i’m not talking like KISS level rock, but you know buzz is a rock group as well, right? or at least they started out as a rock group. there’s rock ballad, pop rock, and so on. your songs are all too slow, suji-yah. i think your fans might enjoy a one or two uptempo songs, don’t you think?” 

she wanted to argue that ballads were her forte, and those slow songs that the in-house producer was commenting on was what helped her gain her fans in the first place. “but i did write you and i, didn’t i?” she brings up her last title track which was also a self-composed song in hopes that it’d convince him that not all her songs are mellow. 

he hums in his chair before leaning his head back onto the headrest. “i guess, but that’s still a little r&b inspired, don’t you think? i just want you to expand your genres, that’s all. i think an upbeat pop rock song might fit well into the album.” and with that last suggestion, he tells her that he needs to go attend a meeting, leaving her to drown in her own thoughts, and his words popping up in her mind constantly.

— // —

for some reason, the producer’s words haven’t left her mind since she last saw him, and so she decided to look up rock songs. after a youtube search of “pop rock”, suji’s left with a newfound appreciation for the genre. now, it didn’t seem completely impossible for her to venture into that direction, and so she sat down and started to think of a way she can incorporate her own sound along with the new genre that she has discovered. 

the first question that came to her mind was what aspect of her music do her fans love the most? usually when she asks that at fansigns or through social network, the answers vary tremendously. however, the general consensus seems to be that they like hearing her personal stories being told through songs. though she doesn’t like to admit it, most of suji’s songs do indeed come from her own experience. whether it’s the feelings that she felt while watching a drama or movie, her relationship with her family and friends, the love that comes with the job she holds, and so on. there’s not a single song that she’s written that didn’t have a drop of personal touch in them. 

and so she once again starts to write about the thoughts and emotions she holds at the moment. suji looks at her phone to check the time. it’s 12:27pm, and she can’t help but laugh because her fans would refer to the time as 수지시 (suji time). a stan lingo that she learned that fans use on the time that coincides with their artist’s birthday. she doesn’t fully understand how it started, but she thinks it’s cute. all it does for her is remind her how old she is. 

twenty-six. it’s an ambiguous age for suji. she’s heard from rude people about how a girl starts being considered old or less beautiful the moment she passes twenty-five. it’s ridiculous, and she does her best to ignore such comments, but she can’t help wonder where that absurd saying came from. twenty-six is still a perfectly young age where women can start their lives or perhaps discover something new about themselves. 

twenty-six is an age where women can still fly. 

she scribbles down 26 and repeats it to herself a few times. two and six. ee and yook (note: ways to pronounce the numbers in korean). suji realizes that it kind of sounds like 이륙 (note: ee-ryuk, used when airplanes are taking off; can mean to fly). 

it’s when it hits her. 

afterwards, the lyrics come out almost instantly. the urge to push women to fly and fight against the common misconception that twenty-six is an old age. suji’s living proof that people can thrive at this “old” age. here she is still discovering herself, trying out new things and navigating through the world in search of her true self. fuck anybody who tries to tell her or any other woman otherwise. 

slowly i count the numbers backwards i’m going to take my leave now i’ll get away from you into the distance now, i’ll say goodbye to this star

the play on numbers and on her age can be considered silly and cheesy, but she’s so motivated to show that there’s still a world of exploration out there for people her age. suji knows that most of the audience for her solo music are either around her age or even older, and so she hopes that this can be a form of encouragement or comfort to those struggling young adults who need a place to turn to.

goodbye bye, i’m telling you goodbye i’m going to that far away place i love if i happen to hear your name again i’ll try my best to smile vaguely

i jump up once again at the end of the world pass the hills, to the other side i fly

— // —

the lyrics must have been too easy because suji finds herself struggling with composing a new genre. the melody lines need to progress a little faster, and she needs to make sure that the song doesn’t bore out in the middle from its faster tempo. she’s not sure how to moderate the speed of the song because she’s so used to builds and rises in ballads that are much easier to incorporate. usually, all it takes is a final bridge that’s a little different and a few powerful adlibs in order to differentiate the multiple parts of the song. 

the best that she can do is continue to go back to listening to pop rock songs on the internet, trying her best to find the inspiration to compose her own. first, she just boosts the tempo from her usual slow beat. then like most of her songs, the melody of the chorus comes first. she imagines the same airplane that she had in mind back when she was writing the lyrics and tries to characterize an airplane taking off into the melody line. 

she throws away all the preconceived notions that she has of pop rock and just starts out on a blank slate. what she’s trying to do is incorporate her own style into this new genre so she decides that starting out slow isn’t a completely bad idea. she scraps everything and just starts from the start. she thinks it’ll be better to build it up.

the airplane is back in her mind, and she tries to imagine the anticipation and nervousness that someone may hold when they first board an airplane. what if this is someone’s first ever flight? they’re probably unsure of what to do or staring out the window because they don’t know when the next time they see land so clearly will be. 

the drum beat gets laid out first, and then she adds a few more sides that express the fluttering of the stomach or the beat of the heart that slowly beats faster. she decides to leave out the electric guitar until the first chorus hits because that’s when the take off will be. the drum beat becomes more energetic around the chorus as well, and that’s when she knows that her verse and chorus melody and composition sounds just as she wants it. 

it’s a repeat from there. back to the mellow beat because now the airplane is soaring peacefully through the sky. the leap has been made. the bridge isn’t too different from the chorus, but she thinks an electrical guitar solo will be the cherry on top. it symbolizes the airplane coming back down to land. the moments before someone’s about to walk on new land; a place that they’ve only been dreaming of but scared to explore. 

when she later shows off the finishing product to the same in-house producer that had suggest rock, he gives her a pat on the back. “this is exactly the sound that i was expecting from you.” the compliment takes her by surprise, and she feels like she’s taken one step forward by exploring this new genre. it’s completely different from any other song that she’s written before which makes her wonder if it’ll make the cut for her album or not, but she’s just proud that she took this next step.

she’s proud that she boarded on a new flight.

[heechulhamster]

Play Pretend - Heechul

Kim Heechul x Reader (Idol!AU)

Slightly Suggestive, 16+ for Language

Synopsis: SM Entertainment has been in hot waters, leaving them in no choice but to put you and Heechul in an agreement to pretend as lovers. 

I might make a Part 2 for this, tell me if you want one! 

With a sigh, you pressed the down button on the elevator. You just finished a meeting with some of the higher ups in your company, your manager, and your apparent boyfriend.

You’re still unsure of what you've gotten yourself into. All the possible outcomes, positive or negative, even the catastrophic ones have already panned out in your mind. But in the end, it’s not like you had a choice. 

“I’m surprised you agreed to that.” A familiar voice rang behind you. One that belongs to your new beau, Kim Heechul.

“Why wouldn’t I?” A chuckle followed after. “You’ve probably heard that I had a thing from you even before debut.” 

“Everyone has a thing for me.” You shaked your head while laughing at his insurmountable confidence. “I mean, you know you’re gonna get a lot of backlash for this.” 

You nodded in agreement, Heechul belongs in one of the biggest groups in the industry - ever. And you’re an idol who debuted three years ago but only have a modest amount of followers.

 “Publicity is publicity. I’m currently working on an album and I need my name to be heart as much as possible.” You saw him nod in silence, understanding your situation. 

The elevator opened, both of you got in and an imminent silence flooded the air. Almost everyone who knows you knows that you have a crush on Heechul. It’s even the reason you chose being in SM than other companies who offered you. But you weren’t the kind to gush over a person, intimidation was more of your game.

 “I actually didn’t expect you to agree to it either.” You spoke, breaking the ice. He just looked at you in confusion. 

“A rookie that is more than a decade younger than you surely isn’t your type. I don’t fit your physical type on girls either.” You sure did not, your features are far from Momo or Sohee. You didn’t have the monolid that he gushes over and other qualities that his other types shared. But your legs could make him give you a second look, anyway. 

“At this point, you know I don’t have any other choice.” Heechul answered in a defeated tone. 

You surely understood him, a couple of events have unfolded recently that led the company to put you two in this agreement. An idol in the company had a scandal involving drunk driving, Heechul’s gay rumors became increasingly imminent as photos of him and a guy flooded social media, and a big dating news from a rival company was the word of mouth for weeks on.

 “I need this as much as you need it, if not more.” It was true, a handful of conservatives are now bashing Heechul for his gay rumors and the evidence only worsened the situation. The worst part is that the whole Super Junior is affected. 

“Another thing is that...” You delayed your speech, confusing him even more. “What?”

You gazed at his brown eyes and his forehead that had formed folds. A sly smirk formed in your lips as you prepared to blurt out what was in your mind. “You’re not straight.” 

Heechul was obviously perplexed by your statement. He let out a forced laugh, “I’m not gay.” “I’m not saying you are gay, oppa.” You bit your lip to hold your laughter.

 “I’m saying you had a dick in your mouth in some point of your life.” 

You played it off as it was not a big deal but you could sense Heechul had his mouth agape beside you. A few seconds of silence after, he laughed. 

“I didn’t.” He said still in laughter. 

“Then you had your dick in another man’s mouth, for that manner.” You said confidently.

“If that’s the case then yes, I’m not straight.” You laughed in chorus with his. You could feel as if you two would be close, or at least form a good friendship from this agreement. 

“You’re so sure about that but you still did have a thing for me?” He asked you.  

“Yeah, that made me more interested, honestly.” 

 You looked again in his brown eyes, his head tilted by your words. You bit your lip, trying to play with his mind. 

“Queer men are less boring, less predictable, more adventurous.” You made sure to slowly speak your words to build up tension. If you have no other choice but to be with Heechul for 8 months, you’re gonna make the most of it. 

“I would actually like to try if the case is true for you, but I remembered that we’re only together because of a contract. So... nevermind.” You laughed and he did too. 

The elevator landed on the ground floor. You expected to part ways with him when you heard your name being called behind you.

 “Want to start off this contract with a drink?” Your apparent boyfriend asked, to which you agreed. 

You both headed to his apartment, an event your heart surely had hoped for before - that was until the industry messed up with your capability of emotions. Your work made you feel alone and as if everything around you is a set up built by the big players of the companies.

 “Pretty sure I could see your undies by the way you sit there.” Heechul warned you.

Your dress was pretty short and the way you sat didn’t go with that fact. “Why, would you rather have it off?” You joked as you fixed the way you sit. He laughed too while shaking his head in disbelief. 

“You sure have one heck of a mouth.” 

“Well, I make sure to be myself whenever I’m not in front of a camera. Pretending to be someone else can make you go crazy.” You sighed. 

The company made you portray a cute image, which was really far away from who you are. But you had to do it, this was your dream after all. And you weren’t gonna waste that 4 years of training for nothing.

 He sat in front of you, you grabbed the bottle of Soju and poured a drink for the both of you. He started the conversation by asking about your past, your history, as if getting to know each other. You both felt it was necessary as you’re gonna act as lovers for the remainder of the year. Heechul was such a relief to talk to, you didn’t have to hide anything, or control the words that came out of your mouth because he wouldn’t judge. He was a very open minded person, and he really knows how to lighten up a conversation, joking every then and now. 

As the alcohol started to hit, you became very touchy - a usual thing when you’re tipsy. Even sitting beside him so you can put your head on his shoulder.“I guess we gotta get used to being like this, eh?” You said. 

“Skinship never bothered me, darling.” He chuckled. Heechul has a very high tolerance to alcohol so you’re certain that he’s not drunk yet, but probably tipsy. 

“Let’s make the most out of this eight months.” You proposed a toast, to which he happily reciprocated. 

“So we have one month before that announce this relationship.” He said after the toast. 

“What do we do?” You sat upright. “Obviously we have to give out hints that we’re together so that press wouldn’t get the idea that we’re faking this.” He agreed.

 “What about we start now? Let’s post a story to instagram, the bottle of Soju, perhaps?” Heechul suggested. 

“Yes, but not the same background, so it’s not too obvious.” 

And you both did. You both laughed at what you just did, you didn’t even caption anything on the photo. You just posted it in the same time, to fuel speculations.

 “What else can we do to get the rumors going?” He asked. 

“Oh!” You raised your index finger in your idea. “You know what other idols do? Like wear similar accessories?” 

Heechul shook his head. “I’m too old for that cheesy crap, you know. And that’s so corny!” He laughed, which made you laugh too. 

“What about we check in the same hotel on the same day?” He suggested, you thought it was a bright idea. A lot of paparazzi has been following Heechul since the gay rumors sparked. And you two being in a same hotel on the same time can cause a rumor, knowing how the minds of the public work. 

“And then the next day I’ll put makeup of hickeys in my neck! God, they’ll shed their hair off thinking about what we did on that hotel!” You busted in laughter in the crazy thought. 

“Or...” You stopped laughing when he spoke.

 He moved his face closer to yours. You blame the alcohol when you felt the surroundings get warmer.

“...maybe we could ditch the need for makeup..” A lump formed in your throat when Heechul was only a breath away from you.

“.....and put the hickeys there myself.”

Part II https://heechulhamster.tumblr.com/post/181653273215/play-pretend-ii-heechul

[blurry-fics]

Chapter Eight

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: Mention of one particularly annoying dude

Word Count: 1618

Author’s Note: Quick question for those of you who read on mobile! I personally thought the new font makes reading fics a bit harder (less distinction between paragraphs), so if there’s anything I can do to make reading a little easier, just let me know! It might also just be me being silly, in which case, enjoy this chapter 💛

“Are you ready for another amazing day on tour?” was the first thing that you heard when you woke up that morning. Tyler was the one who had said it, as he had a habit of doing when you slept in late.

“No,” you mumbled as you clambered out of your bunk.

“Hey, we are not going to tolerate that attitude on this tour bus,” Tyler said, pointing a finger at you.

“What are you going to do, throw me off?” you laughed.

“He’ll do it,” Josh said as he took a bite of his cereal.

“I will!”

You shook your head as you grabbed your change of clothes and slid into the bathroom. Getting dressed in the bathroom was a pain, but it was better than changing in front of everyone on the tour bus, even if you did have a bad habit of bumping your elbows into the walls.

“Shoot,” you muttered as you did it yet again while pulling on your sweatshirt.

“You ok in there?” Josh called.

“Funny bone!” you answered.

You walked out of the bathroom and tossed your pajamas into your bunk. Tyler and Josh were at the table, eating their breakfasts and looking over their phones.

“Hey, Y/N/N,” Tyler said. “Come check this out.”

“What?”

Tyler held out his phone for you to look at. It was a tweet that he had made earlier that morning with some of the photos you had taken at last night’s show. The tweet had hit nearly five thousand likes already, which seemed crazy to you.

“No way,” you smiled, grabbing his phone. “Five thousand likes in two hours?”

“People really like your photos.”

You shook your head, “I’ll never get used to that.”

Just seeing your twitter handle on a tweet with that many likes was amazing to you. It was nice to know that people were loving what you were doing just as much as you were.

“What are you doing?” Josh asked as you opened up the breakfast cupboard.

“Making myself breakfast?”

“No, wait!” he said, temporarily abandoning his cereal.

“What?”

He walked off towards the back of the bus. You looked at Tyler, who only smiled at you. Josh returned a few moments later, carrying a white box in his hands.

“What is that?” you asked.

He set the box down on the table near Tyler. You walked over just as he opened the top of it. Inside was a cake that said “Happy One Month of Tour!”

“Happy first month of touring!” Tyler and Josh said together.

You couldn’t help the smile on your face, “For me?”

“Who else?” Tyler laughed.

“We wanted to celebrate you surviving your first month on tour with us. It’s not an easy task,” Josh added.

“Thank you,” you smiled, giving each of them a hug.

“Aren’t you going to eat your cake?” Tyler asked as you walked back over to the breakfast cupboard.

“I can’t have cake for breakfast!” you laughed.

“Sure you can!” he said. “We’re on tour.”

You shook your head, “I’m going to have some cereal, and then we can all share my celebratory cake.”

“Fine,” Tyler sighed. “But only because that means I get to have cake too.”

You were hard at working editing photos at the table. The boys were on the other side of the room, quietly doing their own thing. Tyler appeared to be working on lyrics and Josh was on his phone, although he looked pretty close to falling asleep.

Since it had grown so quiet, you decided to listen to some music while you worked. You grabbed your bag from beside your feet and began to fish around at the bottom of your bag for your headphones. Instead, your hand came into contact with a piece of paper. Curious as to what it was, you pulled it out and unfolded it.

Y/N,

You recognized Matthew’s handwriting immediately. The letter was from a year or two ago; it had been one that you used to read when you were worried that Matthew didn’t love you. Knowing what you knew now, the concept made you laugh.

You know that I’m not very good with words, but I wanted to write you this letter to celebrate our third anniversary. In the time that we’ve been together, you have made me the happiest guy in the world. I look forward to every minute that I get to spend with you, even if it’s something as simple as doing homework together in the library.

Before I met you, I felt like there was nobody in this world that really understood me. Then you came along and took the time to learn all of my weird habits and quirks. What’s even crazier to me is that you love me because of them, not in spite of them. If you ask me, that’s pretty special.

I don’t think words will ever be able to describe the way that you make me feel, although I’ll try. Your smile is infectious. Your laugh is contagious. I could stare at you for hours and never get bored. I love that we can talk for hours about the simplest and weirdest things. That’s something that’s rare nowadays. You never fail to make me laugh, and that’s something that I will be endlessly thankful for.

You are the stars in my sky, the sun to my moon, and the reason I wake up in the morning. I’m so happy that I get to call you mine, and it’s a concept that I’m not sure that I will ever get used to. I hope that I’m never dumb enough to let you go.

Ok, that’s enough of me being cheesy. But really, I love you so much, Y/N. I can’t wait for what the future has in store for us.

Much love,

Matthew

You crumpled up the paper and tossed it across the room into the trash can, hoping that you never had to look at it again. Knowing him, he had probably pulled that off of some website and passed it off as his own. He had never been the romantic type.

“What was that?” Josh asked.

“A letter from my ex.”

“From recently?”

“No. I used to keep it in my bag to read when I was feeling down. I had forgotten about it until just now.”

He nodded and went back to looking at his phone. You remembered what you had originally set out to do and went back to digging around in your bag for headphones.

“Wait, that was a letter from your ex?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah. It was weird to read again. I realized how much better I’m doing now,” you explained.

“Good,” he smiled. “I’m glad. Hey, Josh, what do you think of this?”

You continued to edit photos as you half listened to the poetry that Tyler was performing for Josh. Your hand was beginning to cramp up from editing photos for so long, so you decided to take a break and make yourself some lunch.

“You guys want anything?” you asked as you grabbed ingredients.

“I’m good,” Josh said.

“Me too.”

“Ok.”

You made yourself a sandwich and then walked over to the couch. Josh moved his legs so that you had room to sit, but was quick to put them right back over you when you made yourself comfortable. He smiled innocently at you when you gave him a look.

“Are you guys excited for the show tonight?”

“Yeah, but I’m even more excited for our day off tomorrow,” Josh answered.

“I thought we had Tuesday off?”

“Nope, tomorrow,” Tyler answered.

You nodded and took a bite of your sandwich.

“Hey, look at this,” Josh said, passing his phone to you.

You grabbed his phone and watched the video. It was a fan edit made using your photos from the concert.

“That’s really cool,” you smiled. “I’m so glad that your fans are liking the pictures that I’m taking.”

Josh nodded and took his phone back from you.

“Ok, guys, listen to this,” Tyler said.

You and Josh both listened as Tyler recited what he had written. Moments like this had grown to be your favorite, when it was just you and the boys relaxing on the bus or after a show. It was almost like being young again, hanging out with your best friends and not having a care in the world.

“That’s really good, Ty,” you said.

“You think so?”

“I agree,” Josh chimed in. “We should try to get that on the next album.”

Tyler nodded and made a little mark in his notebook before flipping through the pages. You finished your sandwich and got back up to wash your plate.

“How are the photos coming?” Josh asked.

“I’m almost done with last night’s,” you said, taking a seat at your computer once again.

Josh got up and walked over to where you were sitting, leaning over your shoulder so that he could see.

“These are looking really good, although I guess that shouldn’t really come as a surprise,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” you said, trying your hardest not to blush.

“Y/N/N, do you mind sending me some of your favorites when you’re done? I’m going to try and get another tweet out tonight.”

“Yeah, no problem, Ty.”

Josh went back to laying on the couch and you plugged in your headphones so that you could start focusing. You were getting closer to the next venue, meaning that you would have to pack up and help out the rest of the crew. It was a routine that you had quickly gotten used to.

One month of tour down, two to go.

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