#i hope not bc i’m dropping my drafts <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[xxblairexxss]

I’m sorry

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x asian!reader

Theme : Angst

Just a timeline of Charles’s girlfriend throughout the years, how she went from a girl who migrated to France when she was 6 years old to becoming a girlfriend of the Formula 1 driver, Charles Leclerc.

I’m not entirely sure about this one but I just wanted to clear my draft. I’m only tagging those who told me they wanted to be included in my general tag list! Please don’t be offended if I didn’t tag you because it’s not Jealousy part 3 😭 so I thought you don’t want to be tagged but please let me know if you wish to in all of my stories!

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2018

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2019

yninstagram

Liked by charles_leclerc and 98,765 others

ynusername dropping a selfie bcs it’s been a while

charles_leclerc Mon amour 🧸🤎

ynusername 🤎

user1 SO PRETTYY

user2 LOVING THE HAIR COLOUR!!

user3 she’s asian? can she speaks french?

user4 she has lived in france since she was 6 so yes she can

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc and 78,072 others

ynusername a quick stop for mirror selfie before rushing to class

charles_leclerc my pretty girl 🤎

user1 oh to be called my pretty girl by charles too 😭

user2 does she always dress like that?

user3 other wags just scream old money with class. this one..i’m not sure myself 😣

user4 lol she can wear whatever she wants

user2 i just wish she wear something more relevant since it’s affecting charles’s image too

user4 that doesn’t make any sense

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2020

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, and 103,665 others

ynusername rainy season 🌧️

charles_leclerc I miss you

ynusername I miss you too 🥺🥺

user1 I love how she still look stunning without all those expensive brands

user2 PRETTIESTTT ❤️

user3 is it just me or she looks so out of place compare to other wags?

user4 how i wish she paid more attention to her style

user5 too simple 😕

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2021

ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, and 277,231 others

ynusername loving this dress! 💛

charles_leclerc beautiful princess

ynusername love youu! 🥺

user1 meeeh tried too hard

user2 lol all those stuffs but still don’t look on par with other wags

user3 omg you look so pretty in a dress!!! AAAAA

user4 charles’s princess ❤️

user5 girl you ate and left all crumbs

“I can’t.”

Charles furrowed his brows to your answer. “What do you mean you can’t? Y/N, we have been together for more than 6 years. Don’t you think it’s time for us to start living together?”

“I got a job offer in London. I’ll be moving away in a week.”

“What? What about us? Don’t you think you should have told me first before you accepted the offer?” He blinked in disbelief, part of him was hoping that you were just pulling a prank on him.

“It was a job that my mom had always been dreaming of, Charles. She sacrificed a lot for me.”You tilted your chin to avoid the tears on your waterline to spill. “She sacrificed her life before she could play with dolls for me. I spent my childhood waiting for the sound of her keys jingling as she came back from her night shift, waking up with just a small note sticked on the side of my breakfast plate because she couldn’t wished me a good morning for having to rush to work. She gave up on her dream, crying from missing her parents in South Korea every night just to make sure I got a chance to draw my life with colours so I wouldn’t have to suffer like she did. I need to accept this job for her. Everything I have been doing and ever will do is for her and you know this.”

Charles remained silence. He had always known your mom’s struggle, raiding you alone as a signle mother and part of him had always known that if you were put in a situation where you had to prioritise your life or your mom’s life, you would always choose hers. He knew it but he was never prepared for the day to come. He couldn’t find himself to say anything else and pulled you into his embrace instead.

“And I’m tired. I’m so, so tired of the constant pressure from everyone. I can’t even wear anything that I want without getting comments about how incompatible I look, how messy I look. I– I don’t know what they– what everyone wants from me. It’s either I looked out of place, an outsider or I looked like I’m trying too hard. I don’t know what everyone expect from me. I’m happy, I’m so goddamn happy that you got to be where you are right now but the more you are building yourself, the more I’m falling apart. I’m losing myself, Charles. I feel like I have been helping you to build your garden while mine is just getting abandoned and forsaken and just full of wilt flowers.”

“I’m sorry.”

That was the last word you remembered him saying as he kept you in your arms, holding you so you wouldn’t fall on your knee from the way your body shook within every sob.

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2022

ynusername

London, United Kingdom

Liked by charles_leclerc, and 277,663 others

ynusername took a day off to play tourist!

comments have been disabled

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2023

lancomeofficial and ynusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, and 377,620 others

lancomeofficial Lancôme newest global ambassador, ynusername lookingall glammed up by jaime.creates.

user1 OMG OMG OMG

user2 THAT’S MY GIRRLL

user3 been here since day 1

user4 She looks unreal

user5 it’s been a while since the last time i saw her in my feed 🥹

user6 still using her ex bf fame to build her name lol she’s worse than other ex wag

user7 are you high???

✧.* tags! @i83andrew @cltrlne @karmabyfernando

[kithtaehyung]

[ 3tan11/3tan12 ] woot woot! final decisions have been made and i’m excited to share them bc my brain and body just took the biggest dang sigh of relief😅

3tan11 will be its own part now, and what was supposed to be the second half will now be 3tan12 to make tagging things easier!

3tan11 will be posted on sunday (12/3), and the word count is 17.7k final draft before serious editing (which i will take the rest of tonight and this weekend to do)

3tan12 is currently 10k and will end up around 15-17k, making both a whopping 34-35k total😭 hence the need for more time to really make sure each part is done the best way possible!

this being said, 3tan12 doesn’t have a definitive posting date bc i wanna post it when i am happy with it, but i have a strong feeling it will still drop within the month or early january🍊

yoongi’s interlude: fugue is still slated to be posted after both 3tan11 and 3tan12🤍

honestly, y’all, it’s just been a week💀 there’s been a bunch of Life happening to sum it up. but i’m realizing that i’m forcing a lot of this out just to meet a deadline that can most certainly move and change. now that i’m giving myself real time, both halves are gonna be infinitely more thought out and cared for before posting. which is better for y’all in the end.

i love you all very much. and the hope is that you will be able to feel even just a sliver of that sentiment with each half of this arc🫂 on sunday, take time to read the first part and digest, and then we can all take a breather before the second one drops❤️‍🩹

[cheolhub]

could you do number 54 or 99 with seungcheol please!!

SAR’S 3K MILESTONE EVENT

prompt. “c’mere, you can come sit in my lap until i’m done working.”

pairing. seungcheol x f!reader

wc. 824 (i literally don’t know what happened im sorry)

warning. thigh riding, needy!reader, soft dom!cheol, lots of teasing, pet names (baby, princess), allusions to dumbification, ummm idk what else — MINORS DNI 18+

note. hi anon! i chose 54 bc i wanted to write thigh riding LOL i hope u like this T-T it was lowkey kinda rushed </3

you’re pacing, probably creating a draft outside of seungcheol’s study. you’d much rather be in bed doing other things, but god forbid your boyfriend take a step away from work even if it was just for a second. 

seungcheol notices the way you walk past the wide-open door several times, an amused smirk sitting on his face while he continues to work. he understands you’re a bit… worked up right now, but he just needs to finish one more thing and he’s all yours.

it’s when you start obnoxiously sighing every time you pass the door that he breaks out into a full grin, a quiet chuckle escaping his lips. 

“hey, baby?” he calls and your ears perk up when you hear the pet name, practically prancing into the room with hearts in your eyes. 

you smile sweetly at him, “yes, cheollie?” you sing.

he gives you a playful look when he asks, “what are you doing?” as if he didn’t already know. 

“nothin,’” you shrug with a toothy grin. “just waiting for you to fuck me into the mattress like you promised you would’ve 2 hours ago– and by the way… is that still happening?”

he leans back in his chair adjusting his glasses. he hums out his response, voice dropping a bit, “mhm it is, is my pretty baby needy?”

your smile dissipates and pout is quick to form on your lips. “cheol, don’t tease, ‘m already a mess.” 

he coos, “oh, my poor thing.” his words are mocking, but he’s quick to make up for it. “c’mere baby, you can sit in my lap until i’m done working.”

you nearly jump him at that, running over and straddling just one of his deliciously thick thighs on the spacious chair. he smiles at you, mumbling something about how cute you are before his hands find your waist. 

you wrap your arms around his neck, “so, how much longer…?”

“not much, princess. if you’re good ‘n let me work, i can be done within the next 30 minutes.” he tells you, hands sliding up and down your sides which seems to be doing more harm than good to your soaking cunt. 

you sigh, nodding your head before clinging to his body, shoving your head in the crook of his neck as he removes his hands and returns to work. your senses are full of him, his cologne making your head spin and the ache in your beyond agonizing.

you don’t even realize how much time passes by before you’re subtly rubbing against his thigh till he’s humming, hands back on your hips to guide you. you whine into his skin at the feeling of his large hands squeezing your flesh and your pussy pulsing uncontrollably. 

he snickers at your helplessness. “aren’t you just the neediest little thing? can’t even wait 30 minutes for my dick, baby?” 

“b-been waiting all day… need it now.”

“oh, you need it, do you?” his patronizing tone has your hips involuntarily stuttering. “gonna show me then? show me how much this pretty pussy needs to get fucked?” 

you whine, his vulgar words sending shockwaves straight to your cunt, “ch-cheol, please.”

“there’s my girl, i knew you didn’t forget your manners.” he praises with another smile though you couldn’t be bothered with the way your overly-sensitive pussy clenches. he flexes his thigh and your desperate whines turn into even more desperate moans. “gonna cum like this?”

you nod your head, one of your hands slipping to the back of his, threading your fingers through the brown locks. the other comes to roughly grip and pull at his shirt desperately. you attempt to salvage any dignity you may have left when your mouth opens and your teeth sink into his neck to muffle your embarrassing moans. 

seungcheol revels in your reaction to simply grinding on his thigh. he has to admit that this might be the hottest thing he’s ever seen in his life and it’s making him so fucking hard.

“alright, baby, you’re close right? cum for me and i’ll fuck you brainless, can you do that? can you cum for me?” 

at the inviting incentive, you nod, huffing and puffing as you feel your impending orgasm swirl in the pit of your tummy. cheol can hear how close you are in your moans, each getting more pitchy and breathless as they come. 

when the rubber band in your stomach snaps, you jolt in his grasp, incessantly crying out his name followed by some vulgar curses. your hips are slowing down but still bucking against his thigh as you’re coming down from your orgasm. soon after, with cheol rubbing your back, your heavy lids flutter close and you slump against his body, still panting. 

“good girl.” he whispers. “did so well, you know that?”

you mumble into his neck, “fuck me brainless.” the words parrot his previous ones and he can’t help the laugh that escapes him. 

“don’t worry, i will.”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[cuttergauthier]

Secret boyfriend

female Smith reader x Ryan Leonard

Warning: injury, soft Ryan, fluff 

word count: 1.3k

let me know what you guys think🤍

let me know if you guys want me to do an insta edit of them soft launching their relationship!

I love Boston College, the only thing that sucks is doing homework, studying and just like home I hate when it rains and I have to walk. We are currently in the middle of October, and we are having a rainstorm. I've been here since the end of August and it hasn't rained this much.

Usually my brother would come and drive me to my dorm room since we both live in the same building but he was currently out in the city with two of his teammates Drew and Gabe, since they wanted to go see the bruins play in their home opener and they decided to spend the night since all 3 of them only had late classes tomorrow along with a night practice.

I didn’t bring an umbrella and even though it was raining pretty bad, a lot of students were making a run for it either back to their cars or dorms.

I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head and started walking fast to my dorm.

I was almost there when another student ran right into me making my fall on my knees on the sidewalk.

I grunted my knee hurt like a bitch. The student just yelled sorry and continued to run. He didn't even ask if I needed any help.

I pulled myself up and looked at my knee. It was bleeding. I groaned and started limping the rest of the way since it hurt too much.

Once i got to the building I opened the door and made my way up those steps and to my room. I am thankfully living in a single dorm room and it also has a small bathroom, i tend to stay up late to study sometimes, so being alone means I never have to worry about keeping my roommate up with the lights.

I unlocked my room and walked in, I dropped my bag on the bed and made my way to the bathroom to see if I had anything to clean my knee. I couldn’t find anything. I looked at myself in the mirror, I was soaking wet. I decided to take a quick shower and I could ask someone if they had anything to help me clean my knee after.

I went to my dresser and grabbed my bc hoodie and a pair of black gym shorts before making my way back to the bathroom to shower.

Once I was done my knee still stings. I got dressed and put on some shoes and made my way to the dorm next to mine. I knocked on the door and Jenna answered she’s the first person i met when i moved here, she’s really sweet.

“Hey Y/n, everything okay?” She asked

“Yeah, sorry but would you have anything to clean wounds?” I ask

She pouted and shocked her head.

“No i don’t i’m sorry”

I smile weakly.

“All good, don’t worry about it”

I made my way back to my dorm room and texted my brother, he’s a hockey player so I hoped he might have something in his room. He gave me a key when we first got to bc in case of an emergency so I could still get in.

Me

Hey, do you by any chance have anything to clean wounds in your room?

Will

Yeah, I should have something in the bathroom if not Ryan probably does. Everything okay?

Me

Yeah, I tripped in the rain earlier. Now my knee is bleeding but I don't have anything to clean it with. Then i remembered that you gave me a key incase of emergency & you’re a hockey player so i figured you might have something!😂

Will

True, go check Ryan should be there! Just tell him what happened and he’ll help you!

Me

Thanks, I love you! Have fun at the game ❤️

Will

Love you too & we will❤️

I made my way to my brother and Ryan’s room & hoped they did have some stuff. My knee is really bothering me. I didn’t really want Ryan to know, but he would have found out eventually.

I’ve known Ryan for a few years, since the untdp days, he and my brother were teammates. We started dating a month before the NHL draft but we wanted to keep it on the down low to make sure we would work out since he and my brother are teammates but also best friends, we didn’t want to make it awkward. Will still doesn’t know only both of our parents do, I’m surprised Will hasn’t figured it out yet.

Once I got there I knocked on the door. A few seconds later Ryan opened up. He looked good, he was wearing some sweatpants and his untdp hoodie.

“Hey, did you forget that your brother went to the Bruins game? Or are you here to hang out with your amazing boyfriend” He asked, confused as to why I was there, since I told him I wanted to study tonight.

“No um, Will said you might have stuff to clean wounds, so i came by to check” i said nervously.

“We probably do, come in.” He said. I walked in beside him and followed him to the bathroom.

“Did you hurt yourself?” He asked, concerned.

“It was raining pretty bad when I got out of class and I had to walk back here, so I was trying to rush and then some student ran right into me, and I ended up falling down, scraping my knee,” I said.

“You should have called me, I would have come by to pick you up” he said, giving me a quick forehead kiss before He took the stuff out of the cabinet and set it down before looking back at me.

“Come here, let me take a look." He said, smiling softly. I jumped up and sat down on the counter without hurting my knee worse.

Ryan looked at my knee.

“It’s not too bad” he said, he grabbed some Cotton balls and put some rubbing alcohol on.

“This is probably going to sting,” he said before cleaning my knee with it.

I bit my lip and turned around so he would see that I had tears in my eyes. I wasn’t as tough as my brother or the rest of them.

Once he was done he put on a bandaid.

“They're all done,” he said softly.

I looked up at him to see he was already looking at me. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, i could have done it myself” i said smiling softly

“I saw how you turned your head so i wouldn’t see the tears in your eyes yn, it was probably better i did it since it probably would have taken you longer” he said and i looked at him embarrassed.

“Right, um sorry” I said awkwardly, I hate that I embarrassed myself in front of him.

“Hey you don’t need to be embarrassed about that, it’s just you and I here, I'm not going to make fun of you, I love you too much” he said smiling.

“Thanks Ry, I love you too,” I said smiling back.

He moved away so I could get down from the counter. He put the stuff away and we went back to the room.

“I was just about to put on a movie, do you want to stay a while?” He asked

“Sounds good to me, I don't feel like studying anymore” I said smiling. He chuckled.

He laid down on his bed and pulled me down with him. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my waist. He kissed the back of my head and turned on a movie.

A few minutes later I was trying to keep my eyes open but I was losing, it didn’t take long for Ryan to notice. His thumb rubs soft circles on my waist.

“Go to sleep beautiful, i’ll be here when you wake up” he whispered.

“Love you” i whispered softly

“Love you too beautiful” he placed a soft kiss behind my ear, a few seconds later i fell asleep.

[mirzamsaiph]

IT’S ME, I’M ALIVE, UR GIRL IS BACK FR FR. 

Okay, calming down now. Hi, how are you doing? I hope you’ve been good. I AM SO SORRY I haven’t commented on your new chapter releases, I’ve been having a rough time, year 12 is hard man, and I still have like two more terms of school after this one, and then university. I promise you I have read every chapter you’ve dropped, even if I haven’t commented. I’ve been lamenting for days on whether or not to send you an ask bcs like, ur my fav and ya know, it’s only fair I do bcs I follow you anyway lol but I also have no idea what to say, ur making me shy, damn. I’ve just been lurking in your Tumblr feed, liking all ur posts like a gremlin bcs sending an ask is too scary, (forgive me, for I am a coward). How long has it been since I last commented, I don’t even know 🙁.

I’m writing this as a draft in Google Docs in the middle of my maths double, who writes a draft for an ask? Me, I write drafts for asks apparently, yikes man. The maths part doesn't matter, I do not care for it.

I still love every single one of your chapters, ESPECIALLY THE READING THE BOOK ONES!! LIKE HELLO?!?!? POSEIDON FOR BEST FATHER!?!?! Sobbing, screaming, crying after reading that, I love the sea fam. Percy is so bbg too, like hold him in my hands and give him lil forehead kisses kinda bbg, so precious. AND just the campers, they're so cute, I love when Camp Half-Blood actually comes across as a family, or like an actual camp, the singing around the camp-fire is so wholesome, and Will being Percy's hype-man, like c'mon man, they're just best buddies, I love that for them.

It is deeply important to me that you understand just how much I love your fics, and just like ur content in general. When I get bored I always check my emails for updates or I go on ur Tumblr and just scroll, like I love u pookie, fr.

I’m just gonna send this as is, I’m psyching myself out over this hahah. I’ll try and get around to commenting on chapters again, especially one’s I’ve missed, and if I have time I might just start sending them via Tumblr. I need like somewhere to list everything I wanna talk abt in the comments.

Anyway, bye bye, see u soon.

Fun fact, in however long I’ve had Tumblr, this is my first ask :3

PS: I just realised I never put my name lol, it’s Smoll_Satan. This is my Tumblr account 👍.

OH MY GOD HELLO??? WELCOME BACK GIRL??? YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED TRUST 🤞🏻

I’m doing great, school is kicking my butt :( trying not fail this semester as the moment. Year 12 (which I’m taking a wild guess and saying that is junior year, in American terms) is known as the hardest and most stressful year, so no judgement here girlie!

Don’t fear girl! I’m not scary at all, I’m like the literal least intimidating person on the planet. I’m just a girl I promise. I saw you go through and like my posts and I was giggling everytime I got a notification bc that was really nice 😭

Writing in your docs is so real because I have done the EXACT same thing so many times, mostly bc I fear tumblr is gonna bug out on me ;( Also I hate math too, it irks my soul.

THANK YOU. POSEIDON IS GETTING HIS REDEMPTION ARK. TRUST ME. I was screaming writing that, i was just so surprised that I wrote that because I lovedddd it.

Will and Percy are best bro’s but Percy is ready to threaten him when he and Nico get together. Trust Percy is a protective older brother… (the singing was so sweet :(()

GIRL I LOVE YOU OH M GEE YOU’RE SO SWEET. I love seeing your comments, whilst you look for my chapters I go looking in my comments for your comment.

Don’t psych yourself out when it comes to Tumblr asks! I love them, like I find it so amazing. If you do comment trust I’ll be replying to each one, they are the source of my amusement for each chapter. (literally have cackled reading your commentary)

BYE! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[tmwcs]

Hey! Its my first time sending an ask hehe~ I just wanted to say that you’re such an amazing writer and your series are just sooooo good!!! 😍😍😍 I started getting into your account when I came across the smau for MRE and HHP and I gotta say, you got me hooked so bad onto Heethan that I end up loving all your Hee-leads so far! I’m so invested in HHP, SE7EN, DT and now TO! I’m honestly so excited to read a new chapter everytime you post hahaha! 🤭🤭

The main reason I wanted to send you this is cuz I’ve been having super stressful and bad days these past few days and its mainly cuz its my final year in college, final semester and final week actually 😅 and there’s just like sooo many final preparations needed to be done for my big final year project (having my big presentation today! soooo nervous) and its just been too much and too overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother anyone with my anxiousness so I’ve been keeping it all to myself and having slight panic attacks and just started having random breakdowns as I complete my assignments. Reading your series, whether its new chapters or just rereading older ones have given me comfort, like I really felt alone but its like Heethan, Heelel and the Heebros have become my comfort characters. It’s just been so overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother my family with it, I only have one other friend that I trust with my whole life but rarely see her, we’re all busy and I just felt like I’m falling behind in everything. Even though the Hee-leads might be like crazy obsessed with the reader, its like I really needed them in my life just to have someone to drop everything just to hold and comfort me anytime life becomes too much for me. I’m actually crying while writing this to you hahaha… it just feels like everyone around me is moving so fast and I’m stuck at the back picking myself up just because I feel so overwhelmed and anxious easily. Turning 20 this year is another thing that has me feeling afraid of adulthood, my mum is pressuring me into getting a job immediately once I graduate but I just feel like I’m not ready, or I’m just not ready to give up my teenage freedom and socialise professionally. Being such an introvert and shy and always thinking I’m just dumb and cant do work without help has been holding me back from wanting to grow and enjoy this new chapter in life.

So sorry for this long ass rant but i just really needed to let you know how much your stories, your Hee-leads have been keeping me going. Excited for the next chapters of your series! Hope you’re having a great day❣️

Omg so....I LOVE THIS.....this is so heartwarming and thank you for sharing it with me. Also, thank you for discovering my blog so you can write this to me, bc as you may have figured, receiving asks are just....its so nice. its a nice and wonderful surprise to hear from readers interesting in my work, wanting to know more about the characters and so forth. I am just beyond touched that heethan, heelel, and heebrows have made their way into your heart and to provide you comfort. in fact, reading your message had reminded me of a piece that i had started to draft (it was originally supposed to be a part of one of the HHP chapters but i never went through with it) but i still had it in my folders so after i finished reading your message, I decided to go back and actually finish it and format it specifically for you as y/n. I hope you like it. <3

Heeseung's Message.....

MDNI18+ content below the line.

Warnings: mentions of losing loved ones, fears and worries about the future, smut, car smut, unprotected smut, some....just some sadness....its a very heartwarming and touching piece.

"What's wrong baby?"

Noting how silent you were in the car, right after he picked you up, Heeseung rubbed your thigh, gently shifting your skirt upwards as he softly slid his hand up and down, enveloping you with warmth and comfort. "Something on your mind pretty baby?"

Placing your hand on his, you grabbed hold semi-tightly, keeping your gaze out at the window. You were hesitant at first, noting that Heeseung had a busy schedule of his own, was on his way of finishing his last year in college, aiding his professors, and of course, there was you....picking you up from classes, dropping you off every morning, taking you wherever you needed to go. You appreciated it but the man had completely devoted his time to everything else, you felt it selfish to bring any matters up to him....feeling that whatever time he did have left within the evening, he should at least have it for himself.

"It's nothing." You sighed out.

Glancing over to you, he furrowed his brows and quickly shifted the wheel, stirring the car over to a nearby parking lot on one of the campus buildings.

"What are you....?" raising up in your seat, you looked around before turning your gaze over to Heeseung, who steered the wheel with one hand and in a smooth motion, parked the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt, his gaze meets with yours before he reaches up and places his hand behind your head, softly grabbing onto your hair as he leans in and rests his forehead against yours.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I wanna know. Tell me, y/n."

His eyes were wide and his expression was fierce with rage, however, before he further ventured off into a spiraling path of unhinged presumptions, you reached up and latched your fingers onto his collar, placing a dainty kiss on his lips. "Its not that....I promise nothing like that happened."

Raising his brows and tilting his head, he releases the gentle grip he had on your hair, and replaced it with a soft, petting motion. "Then why are you being so quiet? You seem upset, what is it?"

Looking down at the console for just a second, you raise your sights once more to meet his and began talking.

".....Are you ever scared about the future, Heeseung?"

His face was taken slightly aback as he raised both brows and looked at you with an intent look.

"Is that what this is about? Are you feeling overwhelmed about moving?"

Shaking your head, you looked down once more as you shyly clarified. "Nooo.....its not just that....its more..."

"Like what baby?"

"Like....after the moving.....finishing college, being in an unfamiliar country, not knowing anybody, making new friends, meeting your family, being apart from mine, learning a new language, finding a job after college, and what if I have to do more college? Or ...." pausing, you caught yourself drifting in verbal thought.

"Or....?" He draws out as he bids you to finish your statement.

"Or........what if....what if something happens and we........you know.....what if we just...."

Squinting his eyes slightly, his expression looked a little irked as he rolled his tongue in his mouth. "That's never going to happen y/n. You know that."

"Yeah but....."

"But what?" Slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes for a second, tilted his chin down, and lifted his lids to expose a rather stern and rather angry look. Yet the moment he saw that your eyes began to glisten, shining like diamonds as the tears started to build up, you looked down once more, unable to look him square in the eye as you felt the first tear break free and drip down on the leather padding of the console.

Watching as you faintly sobbed, he nearly felt his heart break into two. He gasped out a faint breath as he reached over with his other hand and cupped your face, no longer expressing a look of annoyance.

"Hey......why? What's making you think that way? Am I not showing you enough love? You know whatever it is you want, all you have to do is tell me and I'll make it happen."

"Its not that i just........there's just some things we can't predict about the future Heeseung......what if some day......what if you stop loving me......or worse.....what if something happens and I no longer have you? What if....just.......you never know.....is it wrong for me to hope for the best, but expect the worse? Because...you know that life can be so unfair some times....and I....I....I'm scared because....I dont even know....what I'm scared of sometimes. I wake up every single morning not even knowing how to live life because there's so many things that I think about....so many things that are thrown at me all at once and I just.....I feel like sometimes......I might fail......I feel like sometimes.....I will let you down.......I feel like its not the world, its me.........its me that's broken, not you or anyone else."

You gasped out tears and soft cries as you spoke straight from the heart. For the first time, Heeseung had sincerely considered if going to Korea was the best option, at least just for a second before he reminded himself of the future that he had waiting for him.....a future that would allow him to continue to keep you....safe....and with him.

Shifting his sights around on the floor bed of the car, his thumbs stroke your cheeks, wiping away the continuous flow of tears that were now coming down harder than before. Gulping down a hard swallow, he turns back to face you.

"Baby.........look at me....please look at me."

Looking up into his gaze, your eyes red, swollen, with eyelashes drenched and your face stained with wet trails of all your fears leaving their mark. With a soft smile, he calmly speaks.

"You're right.....that is tough. There's a lot that we can't control in the future....its precarious, and we're literally just pawns on the board of this silly game called life, where God and the universe are taking turns making each move. It can be cruel, unfair, and tormenting. Its something that we can either overcome with great strife and hard work."

"But what happens if we work so hard and it.....it just doesnt work out? What if everything just falls apart Heeseung?"

"We wont know unless it happens y/n......the thing about the future, as much as we want it here in the present, so we can see and view what it has in store for us, thats....just not the way it works. That's not the way we work....we're not designed to know those things. We didn't become strong because we cheated, we became strong and survived because we, as humans, learned....the hard way."

Looking into his eyes, your vision started to become blurry all over as the next set of tears built up. Smiling as he continued to wipe your tears away, he continues.

"Y/n....for thousands of years, people have fallen, lost, and suffered at the creativity of the universe. Yet we never gave up......people had an urge to survive. Which is why at times, even when the entire world was on fire, times where a soldier never comes home, a woman loses her child, or when a doctor just doesnt have a cure.....we keep moving....we get back up and learn how to walk again. I can't sit here and tell you that I know that everything is going to be great.....I dont know. But what I do know.....is this...."

Shifting his hands down to your waist, he lifts you with his core strength as his abdominal muscles flexed under his shirt. Bringing you over onto his lap, he sat you down in a princess style as he cradled you against his chest.

"No matter what happens....I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there and I'm going to help you, just like you're going to help me. I'll never let anything happen to you....and.....you never have to worry about me not loving you .....noooooooo pretty baby......that's never going to happen, not loving you would be the worst offense against Heaven and humanity. As far as if anything were to happen to me...."

The moment Heeseung touched on that part of the subject, you sobbed uncontrollably against his neck.

"Heeeeeey, come on now. Nothing's even happen, why are you acting like that's a for sure thing?" he chuckles out as he kisses your forehead. "Listen..." Taking your hand in his, he continues.

"I'm not going anywhere......I'm not. I know this because I know what is living for me......you. I will never abandon you. Even if something did happen, you know i'm always going to be with you. You know how?"

Shaking your head, he brushes your hair away from your face.

"Moments like this baby. Every time we talk, touch, feel each other, love, eat, sleep, kiss, and when I fuck your brains out...." gripping onto your waist tightly, he presses his forehead against your own once more. "All the things we do, they never leave. So.......if there is ever a time where I am not physically here......you're always going to remember how i feel..." gliding his hand from your waist, he reaches down and gently trails it upwards under your skirt, his fingers reaching into your panties.

"You're going to remember my touch..." kissing your neck, he latches his mouth onto your soft spot under your ear, and rings the tip of his tongue around in slow circular motions.

"You're going to remember my scent...." with his free hand, he reaches behind your head and gently pushes your face inward, causing your nose to become burrowed in his thatch of dark long, shaggy hair, inhaling the scent of his cool-mint cologne and his shampoo.

"You'll also remember what I taste like...." placing a soft peck on the spot he was sucking on, he tilts his head up slightly and brings your head down to kiss him.

"And best of all......pretty baby.......you're going to remember what it feels like when I fuck you......when I love you." Shifting your body to face forward, your back completely spooned by his chest and groin as you both remained seated in the drivers side, he spreads your legs open by pushing our inner thighs apart. You were so caught up with the sensual four play, you hadn't realized that he tore off your panties. Unbuttoning your blouse, exposing your breasts, he shifts you up as he levels his length to align with your slit, before proceeding to enter inside you. Feeling full of his flesh, you moaned out as the overwhelming sense of pleasure hits you........taking you away from the abysmal depths of your fears and worries.

Steadying you in a reverse cowgirl position, filing you, his cock melts inside you as he begins thrusting slow and steady, picking up the pace as your walls become more moist.

"You feel me pretty baby?"

"Y-yes!"

"Yeah? You gonna remember me forever?"

"Y-yes...yes! He-Heeseung!"

"You gonna remember what this feels like?"

"Yes!"

"What does it feel like baby? Tell me."

"F-f......fe-feels......ssss......goood......soo....soo.goood....ugh!"

"Harder or faster baby?"

"ugh! both! please both!"

Thrusting repeatedly, your body falls limp as he holds you upright, with one arm wrapped around your waist, and his other hand shifting a grip between your neck and your exposed breast, he muffles your moans and screams with his mouth as he swallows every single bit of your precious tones.

"Gonna cum for me?"

"Y-ye.....yes!...yes.......ugh! He-Heeseung!"

"Yeah? You gonna cum because you're a good girl?"

"Mmm!mmmmmm....mmmhmmm!....ugh!"

"You my good girl?"

"Y....yes!!"

"Yeah you are.......now fucking cum on me. Let me feel it."

Adding more depth to each thrust, you gasped out your screams of pleasure as he rams his cock deep inside, separating new found walls and extracting the moisture out of your body. Reaching orgasm and releasing all over his member, your thighs shake relentlessly.

"Good girl.....my turn."

Cupping your lower tummy, he pushes in and feels his thick length as it slides in and out, he found it amusing how your sensitive body could take him like this, especially feeling it inside you as he was doing right now. Jacking his member deep inside you at a rapid and hard momentum, he finally reaches his moment and with one last punctured thrust, he bucks his hips upward as he shoves you down, mashing your bodies together as he releases inside and fills your body up.

Pulling your head back as he latches his mouth on your neck yet again, suckling as your body bounces rigorously from the tenacity of his performance.

Feeling the pleasure of his tainted love, you somehow were to understand his message clearly, all due to Heeseung extracting you from your fears......which he had done before, back when Samuel sent you his email......back when you and Heeseung came together for the first time.....the start of your guys story. Just as he did back then, he helped you to understand, that the reality of what life gives, is never necessarily the ending to your story. The more he kept pumping into you, the more you were reminded of that clarity. Yea sure, you still felt scared, but knowing that if at first you dont succeed....reach happiness.....or if things just dont work out, you can and should always, try-try again. A lesson you were always reminded of, all thanks to Heethan.

Authors note: Lol, sooooooo...yeah this original draft did have some smut....and i was going to take it out but it was too crucial for me to do so. I hope you dont mind that. But, this chapter was originally drafted, back a few months ago. I had this thought in my head, since I have only taken a few college courses, and am about to start back up on it, I was feeling so dreadful and felt too nervous about doing well. I want to succeed in reaching my educational goals....but what also kind of bugged me was....will i still find time to write? I love writing, truly do. Mainly because it brings other people joy and brings out their most inner feelings. I had so much on my mind that time that i had began drafting this, but as i was writing it, i left it unfinished bc honestly, when i drafted heethan's message.....literally its like his voice was telling me what to write....i felt better. like it was a nice little reminder....realistic...very rational....and honest...but still positive and holds truth. there's a lot of things we can't control, but we should never give up. Its okay to be scared and to worry, that's natural, and that is exactly why people such as myself are here, writing these chapters and stories for you all because i know that there is such a thing called 'life' and sometimes....we just need a break from it to refresh ourselves. I know you have alot on your plate, but dont worry because everything will be more than fine. We have to pace ourselves, work hard, but also rest, and play from time to time. Eat and drink well, and finish strong. finish college, work with your mother and teach her to work with you, if you dont get the job you really want, no big deal. no matter what job you get, if its one you dont want, nothing lasts forever. just think that whatever you do now, it is only making you more marketable for the dream goal you have. I hope you continue strong because while you do have alot on your plate, you've been slaying....you've been killing it! and that's a major accomplishment in itself, last of year of college? woohoo! finish strong!

So now i should apologize for responding with the longest post ever lol. but i really hope this makes you feel better. Reading your message had reminded me of this piece and i am so glad you sent it to me because....looking at it now...and actually finishing it......this was something that was meant to be published and shared. bc it holds an important message for all of us. <3

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[daycourtofficial]

hey there, i'd be really interested in finding out more about your writing process. how do you start? how do you draft? where do you get ideas from? do you have any tips on how to stay focused on a story? i hope this isn't too much, i'm just curious!

Definitely not too much, don’t feel bad at all! Let me break down each question. Every writer has very different things that work for them, and it’s okay if whatever you do isn’t like what I do!

1. How do you start?

Usually one of two things will happen. I’ll either get an overarching idea and I will say “okay I need to write down these ideas”. I will then maybe write a quick summary of what I want. I did this with one of my recent fics, Domestic deceptions. I wrote down a bulleted list of what I wanted, so it looked similar to this:

Something else I do a lot is I create a conversation or a specific scene I want and I write that down. Usually when I write dialogue I write just the dialogue, with very minimal descriptions outside of that. Then I come back later and fill in gaps. After writing this scene, I will build everything else around it.

A good example of this is my fic ‘you’re losing me’. I knew I wanted to end it with that gut wrenching line from the song “I wouldn’t marry me either”. So from that I had to build and nestle the insecurities to get that punch. I wrote that fic around two things - that ending line and the knowledge that Azriel wants to feel like he belongs, like he’s accepted, and he doesn’t feel good enough for anything. So I wrote him getting lost in his work - missing dates, missing any info about what she’s been doing, neglecting her needs.

This is actually how I write most of my fics bc most of my fics don’t really have plot. It’s a lot of dialogue.

2. How do you draft?

This depends heavily on plot. If I’m doing something plot heavy and I know how I want it to flow, I usually make a numeric list of what I want to happen. I do this as I go too. Then I start writing from that list. I start filling in scenes from the list, and I focus on the things on that list. Then I look it over and think about how the flow - do I need to add more? I’m trying to convey something (e.g that a character is in love with another character) - do I have enough to convince someone else of this? Or would a small scene do well to connect and tell more about them?

Sometimes if the plot isn’t too intense or difficult I do just write from the beginning to the end and then I do edits to make sure it sounds good and flows well.

3. Where do you get ideas from?

Everywhere. I’ve gotten them from books, from tv shows, from driving my car and letting my mind wander. A lot of times I get ideas from what we know of the world of ACOTAR. For instance I’ve written at least two fics about the bond and how food plays a role in accepting it, so like what if one person knows about and the other doesn’t? I just like exploring possibilities in the world.

Sometimes my ideas come from thinking about the characters. A lot of my Eris fics come from thinking about his trauma. Like okay, yes he’s killed Beron. But he spent five centuries under him, he won’t just magically be accepting of himself and open and willing to share. What kind of situations does this put him in? What kind of problems can this cause when he does experience love?

4. Do you have any tips on how to stay focused on a story?

This one’s really difficult as I have a hard time focusing on one story. I think this just depends on how you write. I write like I read - I have 8 million drafts going at once, and I hardly am ever just reading less than 4 books at a time.

Something I do is float around a couple drafts for a bit, adding here and there to each of them, until one of them either is fleshed out enough for me to get super excited or one of them just grips me. I have plenty of fics that have just been dropped bc they just weren’t working or I got in a rut with it.

Sometimes I have to let fics sit on the backburner a bit. I did that with ‘his shadows know’, but I knew I wanted to come back to it eventually

Hope this settles your curiosity! If not feel free to ask more 🥰

[urgonnagofar]

9/2 now i’m over the worst of it

hiiii everyone <3 (like two people) i hope you’re doing well. i got really fucking busy since i last journaled. but i really am doing better i made it to september fr. like i was seriously torn up about leaving my home and all of my friends. and especially my dog i miss her so bad it’s not even funny. but now that i’m here i’m not sure i’ve even cried once since i got dropped off. my duolingo streak did die and i almost cried over that. but i didn’t ! mostly just bc i was on a public bus. i also almost cried when i accidentally skipped one of my classes ON THE FUCKING THIRD DAY OF CLASS but that’s fine she’s persisting (i might’ve had a panic attack and called my mom) i have a super nice group of friends but they’re like literally all premed. the engineering college is literally the biggest one here where tf are they (they’re all guys) but oh well. i’m joining baja (build off-roading vehicle and race it competition team) and it seems like a lot of fun all of the people there are really nice. i do have my fantasy football draft tn so idk if i can go to the meeting 😭

tw depression, anxiety, panic attacks, suicidal ideation, self harm, hallucinations

so my there it goes moment. (this isn’t about anything romantic in the slightest) last september i was doing Really fucking shitty. like i was insanely stressed out all the time. i spent the spring of my junior year absolutely going through it. i quit self harming in march, because i saw what it was doing and how bad it was for someone i was sort of friends with, and decided that i really needed to quit. and it was so fucking hard. i wanted to go back to it so fucking badly. i started seeing shit all the time. if i saw anything red or felt something red i would just see/intensely imagine that it was blood until i checked. i’m pretty sure it was just stress induced from being so worried about quitting, but i don’t really know. through the summer it went away and things got a lot better. but my mom had been worried about how hard the classes were i was going to be taking senior year and i started getting extremely stressed out again. i was like paralyzed by worry that things were going to get as bad as they had been last year again, or even worse. they didn’t, but i spent a couple months with paralyzing anxiety. on the first day of school i could barely sit through my classes, and my heart was racing because i was so stressed out. but things got a lot better as time passed. i remember one day in december realizing for the first time in years that i could actually picture myself being alive more than a couple years in the future. and that i didn’t really want to die anymore. which was an absolutely insane thing for someone that has wanted to die since sixth to realize. things didn’t really get better linearly since then. there were a couple months where it was really really hard not to go back to self harming. but i didn’t. and things have gotten a lot better since. i was super worried about leaving my friends this summer, and though i absolutely do miss them, i made new friends here and im happy with my choice of where to go to school. im actually doing really well and am really happy with where i am. i’m a little bit sleep deprived, but isn’t every college kid? i finally feel happy and like im actually getting to enjoy my life. i do love my parents, but i also needed to get out of their house. last year when september started i don’t think i could have been further from having my there it goes moment. i wrote in the tags on a post abt there it goes that september and doing better would never belong in the same sentence until i was done with school. and i’m so glad that that changed for college.

i miss u all so much <3 sorry for the kinda intense trauma dump there it will probably happen again

[sabotsen]

Hi there! First of all, your perception of Roland is absolutely impeccable. I don't generally read fics as they tend to spoil/contradict my image of a char, but your Roland? Pure canon. In a single paragraph you are able to convey such complex images, wow. I even find myself with same longing described in a text, and it lingers. Also your signature tripple "burn"s. At this point I can recognize your work without captions. Hope you are having a good feedback! I also did not find any request closed/open status or rules so please forgive me if you don't do requests.

With that, may I take the liberty and ask for a Roland fic where we hug him? Because Re-reading Knight's longing for 3rd time and ugggh I just wanna squish him with a hug. I also thought the idea of "if you need anything — ask for it" "but no everything has to be 95 steps long and complex" is fun, but what if he does actually ask for something, and we give it to him, and it works, and he's shoked? Kinda?? Since he usually doesn't speak plain and honest, and things usually dont actually go his way. But hey he did this time and that single shot got through! It's a little bit like teaching a child to say "pass the salt please", except it's a grown man and we try to tell him not everything has to be attained through suffering and hinting, he can just ask. Or, on a different note, maybe he does not actually say it out loud but we still guess, since after so much time we know him well enough? Regardless of whatever he builds of himself, he still has some patterns he follows unknowingly in any of his instances, and those could be learned and read. I just wanted for Roland to be comforted a lil'. ;< maybe not a lil'. Maybe actually very much.

Even if this req is not to your liking, I still wish you the best with your art, thank you for your hard work! Bye have a great time 👋

I’ve had to walk laps around the room several times before I could even fathom a response to this message so forgive me if I’m incoherent in spots.

But firstly — thank you??? ( ; - ;) this is such a kind message I’m honestly really fucking humbled and at a loss for words, especially for speaking so kindly of my interpretation of him. ;;;; thank you truly for taking the time to send this, it means a lot to me. ( & I can’t help the burns repetition with him lol, the irony when your in game element is fire but you’ve long since forgotten the warmth of human kindness and contact so even the gentlest of brushes feels like scorching heat. The man is a clown)

I’ve never actually gotten a request before lol so you’re the first, hun. I’m open to ‘em, especially since they can be a way to talk to people about different hc and interpretations; I find it really fun. And I really like the view of him I see in your message. Roland blue screening is always a highlight to me tbh

it’s actually a bit ironic Knight’s Longing is the one you’re most fond of. The second part is in the works, told from Chrome’s POV about your closeness with Roland, and there is a short scene that plays off Roland’s affection line where you fall asleep against him. It’s mostly a fun experiment bc they’re just such fascinating foils. (There’s also a nutcracker inspired fic with Roland that has been in the works for a shamefully long time….)

But yes! You’re welcome to suggest ideas hun! And yours actually gave me a brain worm so consider that wip added to the fic list. I just… I either churn out 3 fics in a month or 1 fic every three months — there is no inbetween I’m so sorry….

I did draft a few lines tho based off the images I got from your message tho, so I don’t forget the emotion I want to go for (the despair of waiting for the other shoe to drop bc he can’t trust your kindness as something that isn’t attached to strings or the guillotine). I can’t promise it’ll make it to the final draft but here’s a little snip for now if that’s ok?? I gotta chew on how I want to shape the scene but I’ll toss the snip beneath a read more break. please know I’m tucking four leaf clovers in your pocket in hopes you have nothing but wonder days ahead!! ♥︎ thank you again for taking the time to talk to me ♡

[...]

It's the weightlessness – the moment of bated breath when the stage crumbles beneath his feet and the scaffolding overhead groans as it collapses. It's the loaded silence – the millisecond between the trigger pull and the expected result in roulette. It is the corpse of every script, every scene, every line that always, always, always ends with the flourish of the guillotine. 

He feels it, scorching and molten – the seeping, slow spread of warmth like molten glass. There's a sharpness to it, biting in the way it cuts through the cold metal of him until it sinks into his wires. It burns. It burns. It burns.

The weight of your arm around his shoulder, your foolish flesh and bone hand on the small of his back, the faint brush of your breath against his temple – you're close, too close and it burns. He feels the subtle rise of your chest with each slow breath, and it's the casual defenselessness of it all that turns the heat into something boiling. It churns with all the jagged, rusted blades that have burrowed into tender places he thought lost beneath the metal. You're completely open and every single vital point flashes through his mind in an instant. How easy would it be to press a little here or cut deep enough there to bring you to your knees in blooming crimson glory? 

His hands move – too late and too early all at once – and you don't even flinch when the cold metal of his fingers wraps around the back of your neck.

[crouching-vinus]

16, 43, 77.

I CANNOT believe Blackmail is coming to an end! I think I found it when you were only on chapter 2 or 3. it is by far my favorite fic above all that i’ve read. you’ve become my inspiration to being a good writer lol i hope to be as good as you! 🩷

alsoooo drop the Naoya/Reader fic you mentioned in another ask. i must read it for scientific purposes

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

I never write by hand, but I’ll use my phone to document basic notes/ideas/dialogue/etc. I have for when I’m away from my laptop, which I use exclusively for outlining/drafting. This way I never forget anything. 

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Yes- well, kinda. There’s a few tropes that I like reading that I would love to write for Sukuna specifically- Soulmates, Arranged Marriage, Fuck or Die, possibly(?) ABO (scary)- but I haven’t really developed any story ideas around them yet. Maybe I’ll save them for a future poll!

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

This is a really good question 😭 I honestly spent so many years just reading it, and struggled to find a lot of Sukuna fics when I was first getting into JJK, that I kinda just said ‘fuck it, I’m probably okay enough to do it myself, and if people like it that’s cool, if not, whatever.’ But now I think I do it because I just genuinely enjoy sharing pieces of my mind with people and hearing their thoughts about it and knowing they enjoy it. Like I’ve always imagined Character x OC stories with whoever I’m fixated on, but now I can put them on paper and actually write them out properly and it’s a fun little hobby that’s turned out to be unexpectedly rewarding 💕

And I know! I honestly can’t believe it’s over either. Bless you for sticking with it as long as you have. I definitely bit off more than I could chew but I wouldn’t regret anything, it’ll feel good to move on to other stories but I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for those two little idiots. And it’s an honor to be your inspiration! I am undeserving!!

Alas, I am unable to drop the Naoya fic bc I have not yet written it 😭. The outline is going by… disturbingly quickly/easily though? So hopefully you’ll have it sooner rather than later! I promise it’ll be nothing but absolute filth.

[psychewritesbs]

even though I do not mind the weekly or bi weekly chapter releases and enjoy them, I kind of wish I would wake up one day and the final chapter of jjk would be here lol

I mean this as like the time left with the series is fast forwarded. I don't like rushing in any context, but I feel like I want to know the ending before I fall out of love with the series. I've enjoyed what gege has given in the story so far, but there is plenty of choices I would say I do not agree with imo. He seems like he has a vision of how things need to go, but getting there seems to have some issues. I also kind of hate it when authors say they want to end the story especially when it feels like it will be rushed, and is JJK's case it's sometimes hard to enjoy the story after its been said bc I'm just wondering if we're spending too much time on one thing before we need to move to the next point, but I'll still try to see the story's good and the bad and enjoy what I can. I'm going to reread the culling game arc soon, but I feel like those first fights were about gaining allies, but I can say I wasn't expecting it to go like that if that was the intention. I don't mind kenjaku having secret plans bc it's obvious when it comes to them, but I feel as though that plan overshadowed the point of the cg?? I thought there would be more focus of to kill or not, etc and I see that the most for megumi and yuji (they had my fav colony battles), and I get it somewhat with yuta, but I dont see it too importantly with hakari or maki. I'm going to reread the arc regardless because I can always be confused or a bit slower in catching on so forgive me if my insight is lackluster. I liked the running themes during yuki vs kenjaku, but her "death" felt very unnecessary because she seemed really important in achieving a curse free world and idk about you but that seems like an important goal imo and yeah someone else could lead that charge but what was wrong with yuki doing that? I don't know, but I can only hope the remaining part of the story alongside its ending is something not only we can gain some satisfaction with, but the author too can look back and say, "hey it was pretty good at least"

Gege doesn't seem to drop the ball too much with Yuji or at least megumi too, and I'm not too worried since they're my characters of interest currently, but I want to reread this story and actually believe it when I say I thought all the cast was good and I believe the writing can be better or can get worse (idk) but time will tell it all. I'm a recurring anon, so I'm sorry if the apologies are constant and sound like emails at the end 😅

Dear Recurring Anon,

HOLA! Thanks for being my recurring anon and reaching out again!

Ok but listen... I’ve been sitting on your ask for a while thinking of what I wanted to say and how to say it. I’ve probably started 3 different drafts for my response. So thanks for your patience!

Truth of the matter is that when I read your words, what it comes down to is that, even though you don’t like the recent direction the manga has taken, Jujutsu Kaisen still holds an important place in your heart. 

So I think the most important question to keep in mind is that, in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the most overwhelming sense of self... where does your sense of self stand in all of this?

What do you want to take with you from JJK? 

The stuff you didn’t like because it didn’t live up to your expectations? 

Or the stuff you loved even though JJK was incredibly flawed?

Of course there’s more word vomit under the cut lol... you know how I roll.

I’ll start by asking you to forgive me if I’m wrong and you just really needed a container where your thoughts on the current state of JJK would be honored and acknowledged. The truth is that I totally get where you’re coming from. 

I do. 

I hear you.

It’s just that it’s in my perhaps annoying nature to be stupidly optimistic even when I am being a realist. There’s always a silver lining to everything if you are willing to make the effort to find it. 

So, yes, I agree, and I’m also going to challenge you to find a way to continue loving JJK if that’s what you want for yourself.

That said... lets get on with the bitching lol.

Problems with JJK, problems everywhere!

Your concern regarding the pacing in the story is something that I share with you. Most especially the concern that, moving forward, Gege is going to cut corners. I’d also say that at this point this “concern” is factually canon lol. 

I also agree so much with the sentiment of “is he taking too much time on this when he should be addressing this other plot point?” And I think nothing captures that dilemma quite like the Culling Game arc does--ESPECIALLY with the way he handled the chosoyuki ordeal.

Like we got pages upon pages of all of these characters and exposition and dialogue and like... wait, what was the point of the Culling Game again? 

Why has no one died yet?! 

Why is Yuta kissing a cockroach and why are Kashi-chan and Kin-chan trying to see who has the biggest ego (pun intended)? 

Like I swear for weeks I've been like “ok it’s going down!!!! yeah here comes the angst and the deaths aaaaaaand ok never mind then.... maybe next chapter? ok.... next chapter? ok next chapter for sure. no? next chapter?”

FOR WEEKS! It’s all recorded in my chapter liveblogs lol.

Truth is, to me, the Culling Game is a weird arc because I am still trying to understand its significance within the larger Jujutsu scheme of things.

Perhaps he bit more than he could chew with the Culling Game? And as a writer myself I find this kind of relatable. I’m actually seeing what is happening with JJK and taking note of how having too many themes and plot lines can ultimately be detrimental to a story if you can’t, or are unable to execute them all to a satisfying conclusion.

So to your point about re-reading the Culling Game arc... let’s hope that Gege manages to bring it all full circle. But as things stand right now, we’re in the middle of whatever Gege has in mind so it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.

What I’ll say is that I have enjoyed parts of it with reckless abandon...

Literal picture of me reading through the absolutely ridiculous battle between Kashi-chan and Kin-chan:

I also think that, at best, we have gotten in-depth character studies (because Gege is harping on the idea about the sense of self being at the core of power in JJK) and needed exposition. 

For example, even though Naoya coming back was soooooo cringe to me, I can still see the purpose it served in the narrative. Did I enjoy the journey? Not really. Same for Maki’s development.

The thing is that even if I agree with you on everything I just mentioned... I can’t unsee the story written between the lines even if the execution of the panels falls short, because I am always reading at a meta level.

I am passionate about story telling and how stories move humans, so to me, now that I’ve seen and acknowledge these flaws in the work, reading JJK is less about what’s on the panels, and more about the story he is trying to tell on a meta level through the panels.

My chosoyuki meta is a great example of me recognizing the story being told between the lines. And once I went down all of the rabbit holes I went down, even though I agree wholeheartedly that the execution fell short, the story told in the symbols was amazing to me. It honestly made me wish that Gege would have had the patience, time, energy, and space to birth that side story into the world the way it deserved to be told.

To me, I want Gege to be able to ground his vision onto the page, but if he is not able to, I’m still there for the “story” told between the lines because there’s so few mangaka whose imagination has captivated me.

In the end, as you say, it does feel like Gege is struggling to ground his vision into the page. And it kind of does suck because we, as an audience, have to work that much harder to understand the story he is trying to tell.

But the story being told is still there... so now it’s up to you to decide what you want to focus on: the flop, the bad execution, the failed attempt, JJK not living up to your expectations, or Gege, the flawed human behind the manga, trying and showing up.

What is good enough for you? That’s something for you to decide. 

I’m not saying to ignore the execution. 

I’m saying to remember that this is Gege’s first manga and that JJK is not what it started as--but not because it’s gotten worse, but rather because JJK is now more like Gege than it has ever been... because in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the strongest sense of self... yadda yadda yadda.

Trust the process: life is a journey, not a destination

I think your concern that you want to experience the ending makes a lot of sense and feels very relatable even at this point in my life. 

But the truth is... 

Foregoing the journey in favor of the destination is a recipe for perpetual dissatisfaction. Look at what happened to Denji after he finally got to touch boobs!

Ok yeah, there’s a lot more to it than that in this particular case but the concept still applies.

It also applies to JJK. Again, right now we can’t see the forest for the trees because Gege is executing a complex arc.

The timeline is confusing af, and I think it’s because he may be trying to pull a similar literary trick to what happened in Westworld’s season 1 and 2 where the timeline is scrambled out of order to purposely confuse and mislead the audience. 

Perhaps the timeline is out of order for another grand purpose. Perhaps he just thought it would be fun and wanted to try to execute a fun literary trick.

But we won’t know until he delivers--and delivering is a process, not a destination.

And you know what... if you still get to the end and realize that you didn’t like JJK and the latter part of the story ruined your love for JJK, well...

It’s personal

Dude like... I respect that people LOVE Chainsaw Man, and I also think Chainsaw Man is ridiculously overhyped. I’ve seen countless of videos with people hyping it as the all end be all of manga and that Fujimoto is a genius and...

I. 

just. 

don’t. 

get. 

it.

I am just not a fan of Fujimoto’s brand of navel-gazing existentialism. It feels so anti-climatic to me.

Does that mean that CSM objectively sucks and is bad?! No. It’s personal.

Similarly, I overhype the hell out of CLAMP manga, and I am also aware that people might read CLAMP manga and not like it. 

Even so, to me, the four women behind CLAMP are genius story-tellers.

Shameless Subaru and CLAMP plug because this is one of my favorite Tokyo Babylon panels.

It comes back to personal taste, right?

For me, I love JJK despite the flaws because I still love the story being told between the lines, I find Gege’s brand of ironic humor funny, and I like how the story has progressed. 

Say goodbye to mainstream, Gege’s work might become a cult classic moving forward

Now... I bring up Fujimoto and CLAMP to illustrate the idea that there are people who are going to be dedicated fans of a mangaka and their work, people who enjoy and appreciate their work but don’t necessarily love it,  people who are in it for the hype, and people who don’t like their work.

CLAMP’s Cardcaptor Sakura is mainstream hype. Tokyo Babylon and Clover are what you read when you’re a hardcore fan.

Fujimoto’s CSM is mainstream hype. Fire dude punch something something and Goodbye Eri is what you read when you’re a hardcore fan. 

Watanabe’s Cowboy Bebop is mainstream hype. Zankyou no Terror and Carole and Tuesday are what you watch when you’re a hardcore fan.

Akutami’s Jujutsu Kaisen is mainstream hype. 

Gege followed the Battle Shonen recipe, added his own twists, and created an accidental mega hit. In fact, oddly enough, JJK has always been known as a story that defies expectations and uses tropes in new and unexpected ways.

So what happened? Why are people not liking Gege’s current execution?

To me, there’s something about how JJK is written that has changed, and it has nothing to do with Gege’s ability to write, and everything to do with his sense of self, who he has become in the process of writing JJK, and what he wants to express through his work.

In other words, JJK is more like Gege than it has ever been. Some people are going to like that, and some are not. 

Truth is that Gege is one of the VERY few mangaka who can write beautiful, multidimensional, engaging and extremely human characters who are true to their nature and aspirations.

He also writes on a very meta level and you don’t see that very often... like at all. 

All this to say that I think this is why you see such vastly different reactions in fandom right now. 

Some people still think he’s a fantastic writer and that he’s writing a unique work that has transcended generic Shonen tropes (like yours truly), and some people think that the way JJK is right now is generic Shonen. I don’t understand this last take but...

Who is right?

Who holds THE ultimate truth?

It doesn’t really matter because it’s personal.

All I know is that I am going to keep up with anything Gege publishes moving forward because I like the story he is telling through JJK.

Above all, I’m curious to see what other stories want to be born through him into this world.

Now, I HIGHLY recommend you listen to this 20 minute Ted talk by Elizabeth Gilbert to understand what I mean when I say that Gege is giving birth to stories. Her talk is a mind-opening take on what happens to your sense of self when you accidentally write a mega hit, and how that in turn affects your creative process.

I don’t know that this is how Gege sees his work as a mangaka, but I have to wonder about the possibility that Gege, someone who has very clearly studied the psychology of Carl Jung, sees JJK as an exercise in creative imagination, and/or as a story he’s been handed from the collective unconscious.

His job as a mangaka is to show up and write, to play, to express himself creatively.

That means that sometimes what he writes is going to be magnificent in the eyes of others, and sometimes it’s going to fall short of everybody’s expectations.

And that’s what it comes down to... 

Expectations

I see a lot of people complain about JJK failing to live up to their expectations without acknowledging that their expectations are simply that, expectations.

There’s nothing wrong with having expectations per se, and it is also important to realize when expectations are defining what we think is and isn’t good enough. 

And let’s not forget that you too probably don’t live up to other’s expectations. Does that mean that your effort too isn’t good enough? Gosh now I sound like Lacus.

Again... who holds the ultimate truth?

In the end, Gege is the one telling the Jujutsu Kaisen story. 

I also cannot emphasize enough that Gege is also a mangaka in the very early stages of his writing career. 

I don’t buy that his writing was better in the beginning of JJK. 

Quite the opposite, I see his writing AND art in the beginning of JJK as having followed a recipe: the three man team, found family, the strong mentor figure, etc... all the tropes are there executed in fresh and unexpected ways. 

But that was 5 years ago. Again... in a story like JJK where the strongest sorcerers have the strongest sense of self... what does that mean for Gege?

That said, Gege isn’t following the same recipe anymore, he’s coming up with his own recipe and he’s learning how to write his own recipe.

This is not to make excuses for him, it’s just something to think about because most people aren’t born naturally talented at anything that requires mastery, and writing is a craft that requires mastery through execution. 

As a quick side note, if you read Tokyo Babylon and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle by CLAMP, the 10+ year gap between both manga shows a marked improvement in the writing. AND EVEN THEN CLAMP MANAGED TO FUCK UP THE TSUBASA PLOT!

In other words, Gege has to fail to get better. 

Now add to that the pressure of a weekly publishing schedule that dampens the creative process with tight deadlines, and then on top of that having to draw the whole thing. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Gosh, if I had to guess, I would have to say Gege is ready for an extended vacation. 

But, as you say, I also just want for him to be satisfied with his story. 

As for us being satisfied with his story... well, it depends on what we choose to focus on.

Will you focus on how he failed at executing his vision?

Will you focus on the beautiful story he told between the lines?

Or will you focus on how how he managed to tell a beautiful story despite failing at the execution?

Can you hold the tension of opposites?

Ok SO SORRY this took me so long to get back to you my dear recurring anon. I just had so many thoughts because, like I said before, I agree with you, and I also wanted to challenge you to see things a little differently without being patronizing.

In the end, you want to continue to love JJK, right? 

So love JJK! 

Acknowledge its flaws and be at peace with them for the sake of that love. Nothing is perfect.

Anyways, I love that we can be in conversation about this and that you have come to me to share your thoughts on jjk. 

Merci beaucoup. 

[carmenized-onions]

i was gonna send u an ask about this but then i deleted it cause i didn’t want to be annoying but you mentioned it in your reply soooo-

i literally saw the new chapter an hour after it dropped (also thanks for tagging me<3) but i’ve been working late every day this week grrr so i’m waiting to read it to give it the time it deserves. bc 1. i want to enjoy it properly and 2. yes it does take a little - lot - more time to read when i’m making notes along the way sjsjs

so i’ve been walking around at work thinking about how much i wanna read it and whenever i have a break i’m like hmmm. but then i’m like no i need to be patient. i’m going to treat myself and relax when this week is over, take a shower/bath, put on a facemask and then read the chapter and enjoy every last word. i’m hoping that will be tomorrow after work (i should be off earlier tomorrow), if not then monday which probably means you see the ask on tuesday cause of timezones (or whenever you have the time to read it)

so yeah master’s thesis inbound at some point in the near future!! but also you looking forward to reading it??? my heart went ✨🦋✨🦋✨ fr!!

My perfect little wonderful angel, as you and i both know, you've sent in your master's thesis, and i've read it multiple times, time to draft up a reply for 10 years before jumpin in the shower and doing my night routine like i'm supposed to be doing

consider this a warning everyone though: the thesis is so long (and wonderful), so your feed might get fucked, and that is our bad. sorry.

This is all to say, I'M GLAD YA GOT A CHANCE TO READ IT IN PEACE-- God makes his strongest soldiers work a nine to five. Frfr. I just got invited to join my local film union and i'm considering jumping ship on everything for it atp. Probably will.

I ALWAYSS LOOK FORWARD TO READING WHAT YOU AND ALL YOU SILLY LITTLE READERS SEND TO ME (sorry i'm not always fast to respond, typically it's because I'm writing the next chapter) Which speaking of, might drop tommorow? I feel like I should give more breathing room, to let you bitches like have a second, but to be fair, we stopped on a cliffhanger. So if my last review/syntax editing goes well, hey, maybe new chapter tomorrow? But also maybe the syntax edit goes terribly or maybe I decide to think on it longer, idk. we'll see.

[youcantwaitforsnow]

12.27.22

[amoreemioo]

🧍‍♀️ if i drop my drafts will anyone hate me

[harksness]

Midnight

Gwen Stacy x Reader

A/N: Okay so I promised to write this/wrote it before I went mia from this blog for the fattest of minutes and I have no clue why I didn't just post it. I think it's bc I didn't like it at the time, but now that I reread it I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. So I hope you enjoy this dusty Gwen x Reader I dug out of the pit of hell that is my drafts!! Also, I'm working on chapter 3 of No Longer Yours and it'll be out soon I promise!!! I've just been so busy!!

Summary: Gwen had a rough night out on patrol and she needs her girlfriend to ground her.

Masterlist

Word Count: 1,320

Warnings: None

You've always been a light sleeper. So, when you felt your bed dipping next to you, it startled you awake. Initially, you freeze. Waiting for the stranger to do something, your heart is pounding in your chest. With your brain still foggy from sleep, you roll over quickly, the sheets tangling around your waist. You don't know what you were hoping to accomplish with that. 

“It’s alright, it’s just me.”

Immediately you recognize your girlfriend's voice, and you feel yourself let out a breath that you had been holding, the tension leaving your body. You blindly reach out as you blink the remnants of sleep from your eyes until you feel her arm, then proceed to give it a soft, lighthearted smack.

“Jesus, Gwen! You scared the ever loving crap outta me!”

You exclaimed, your voice still slurred from sleep. You suddenly sense the tense air surrounding her. She stays silent, staring out the window and into the night sky. That’s when you notice your apartment window is still cracked open from her entry. The cool night air drifts into the warm room, and it feels nice against your overheating skin. That’s when you remembered- Gwen only comes in through the window like this after a bad night. Like, a really bad night. Like, someone died or got seriously injured sorta night. You feel your heart tighten at the realization.

You sat up, scooting a bit closer to her. You slowly raised your hand and rested it on her shoulder. Her suit is still on, her hood bunched up at the base of her neck. You squeeze her shoulder comfortingly. When she didn’t protest, and she never does, you brought up your hand and began combing your fingers through her soft, blonde locks. Gwen only continued to look out the open window, and at that moment a gentle breeze came through and danced with her hair. 

“What do you need, baby?”

You asked softly, gently. Once again you moved your hand to her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. You wanted to remind her that you’re here, that you’ll always be here for her. Gwen’s gaze shifted to her lap where her hands rest and you follow her eyes, finding her mask clutched tightly between her gloved fingers.

“I just need you.”

She finally spoke. Your heart aches at how broken she sounds. She turns her head to look at you, those stunning blue eyes of her finally meeting yours. Concern etched across your features at the ruined look in her eyes. Your heart aches again. All you want to do is hold her and protect her from the world- let someone else be Spider-Woman. Let someone else save the day. All you want is for Gwen to be okay, and she can't be okay with the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

“You have me, Gwen. I’m right here.”

She shifted so that she was facing you, one hand bracing herself on the bed, and the other coming up to cradle your cheek. Gwen pulled you towards her, and you didn’t resist. You didn’t want to. Her lips met your own, desperate and needy. It knocked the wind right out of you. You did your best to return the kiss, but still, drowsiness slowed your thoughts and your movements. You leaned forward, tangling your hand in her hair as she slipped her tongue into your mouth. 

She pulled back abruptly, and you took a moment to catch your breath.

“God, I’m sorry. I come in here in the middle of the night and wake you up, then just grab your face and just shove my tongue down your throat? I’m so stupid.. I should’ve asked you if it was okay. I shouldn’t have woken you up, you need your sleep. I’m sorry.”

She sighed, dragging her hands down her face in embarrassment. You grab one of her still gloved hands and shake your head.

“Never apologize, Gwen. I’m here when you need me. I’ll always be here... And I could never turn down a makeout session with my extremely hot girlfriend. I love your kisses, Spider-Woman.”

You smile playfully at her, with your fist still tangled in her hair, you bring her face closer to yours and simply rub your nose against hers lovingly. She smiles softly in return, a quiet laugh falling from her lips.

“What would I do without you?”

Gwen smiled, and you smiled back.

“You would be so lost."

"I would be."

She says quietly, her smile turning soft as she looks at you with eyes full of love. You lean in and leave a kiss on her forehead. 

"Even though you look really good in that suit, it's time for bed. And I'd prefer that you don't sleep in that thing."

Gwen hums approvingly as you get up from the bed and make your way to your closet, the moonlight illuminating the room in grays and whites, only tints of color. Giving you just enough light to clearly search through your closet. 

"I love wearing your shirts more than this thing, anyways. I love wearing your shirts more than anything, actually."

You grin at her words as you find a ratty old grey t-shirt. Hopefully this one will do.

You turn around just as she’s bending over to shimmy the suit off of her feet. You can’t help but admire how good she looks- the moonlight hitting her back makes her look radiant. She's so beautiful and stunning, in moments like these you can't help but be in awe that she's even real. 

“My eyes are up here.”

She wiggles her eyebrows at you and you feel your face flush. You clear your throat and laugh it off. 

“You’re too observant, I never get to secretly oggle you.”

You pout and she laughs as she folds her suit and stuffs it into her backpack. Her laugh makes you relax a bit, happy that she’s starting to become a little more normal.

“Here, catch.”

You interrupt before she can say anything else. You throw the shirt at her, and she catches it with her amazing reflexes. She holds it out in front of her and studies it for a moment, a slight pout now making its way onto her lips. She’s so cute.

“I want to wear your Fall Out Boy shirt, it’s my favorite.”

You throw yourself back into bed, bouncing slightly as you do so before getting under the blankets. 

“It’s dirty, gorgeous. You’ll have to make do with this one.”

Now you’re the observant one, because you notice a hint of red on her cheeks as she slips the shirt over her head. You smile to yourself, happy to have been able to successfully fluster her. 

She slips under the covers next to you, and you open your arms. Gwen scoots in closer, and she rests her head on your shoulder, bringing up her hand to rest on your chest. You bury your nose in her hair and kiss the top of her head as you wrap your arms around her. You feel her relax in your embrace, a soft sigh leaving her lips. 

She’s safe here, in your bed, in your arms. She can drop all of the stress of being a superhero at the door and pick it up again in the morning. Moments like these are her only bits of peace amongst the chaos, the only thing that keeps her sane and grounded. She really doesn’t know what she would do without you. You’re an angel, and she doesn’t understand how she got so lucky. 

After a moment of silence, Gwen says your name softly.

“Yes, dear?”

You whisper into the roots of her hair.

“Thank you for always being here for me.”

She says, even softer than before. You smile, running your thumbs against her skin.

“Of course. I’ll always be here when you need me.”

[bittersweetmorality]

— chuuya boyfriend headcannons (sfw & nsfw)+ drabble

☾ genre: SFW and NSFW Headcannons (NSFW section is marked-- 18+)

☾ pairing: Nakahara Chuuya x GN!reader (reader is given the name ‘mommy’ in the drabble)

☾ warnings: none for the SFW– general smut for the NSFW ??

☾ w/c: 1,978 words

☾ a/n: hey lol :D as a certified chuuya fucker, i just had to.  i literally have like three other chuuya drafts that i’m currently working on.  hopefully they turn out like i want and i can post them bc :| the chuuya tag is starving.  anyway i hope i can populate it just a tad.  thanks for reading bugs !

— SFW 

lemme start off by saying that he will treat yo ass RIGHT.  ON MY MOMMA.

not to bring his trauma into this already but :| my man has major abandonment issues.  he will not do anything to jeopardize your relationship, and he honestly just values your happiness above anything else

you just know how much he cares about the fellow members of the mafia– even though they don’t requite the same amount of love that he gives them, he still loves them wholeheartedly

even dazai

little shit

his love language is definitely touch and gift-giving.  no i don’t accept criticism because i’m right

you’re telling me he wouldn’t absolutely spoil you with expensive gifts ?? mans is a mafia executive– he’s making hella bank, and he is spending it all on you

he’s also definitely a pretty clingy significant other, but good luck trying to get him to admit that :|

his life is… well… yaknow

there’s always a lot going on there..... he’s stresst

he wants nothing more than to just hold you in his arms after a long day-- especially if he just came back from a hard day at work

times like this are when he’s most clingy-- he feels like he almost lost you, and now he never wants to let you go

many, many times he’s fallen asleep like this; you’re basically suffocating in his grip as his eyelids flutter closed, either on the couch or your bed

but of course you’re not going to complain

and he’s so glad you don’t

he’s also the type to almost never explicitly say that he loves you at first, it’s simply not something that comes naturally to him

instead he indulges in his love languages profusely, and he just hopes you get the message

he’s also afraid that you’ll leave him if he says something like that, so for a long time he doesn’t :(

so when you come home to a bottle of expensive wine wrapped in an exquisite red ribbon, you know he just wants to tell you how much he loves you

eventually, of course he’s comfortable with you enough to say it, and it comes completely natural

and since he’s such a romantic, he says it every morning when you wake up, and before you go to bed without fail

he’s definitely the type to show you off too

like, as he’s having a conversation with someone, he’ll suddenly get really loud when talking about you so everyone within a three-mile radius can hear

“well, you see i would go out drinking with you tonight, but i actually have a date.  with my partner.  you know them, right?  here’s a picture i took of them a few days ago, just look a-”

also: biggest hype man

you could open a jar of jam and he’d be like “holy shit, you go babe”

nakahara chuuya kiss me rn challenge

anyway, basically he’ll love and support you no matter what

like truly you’re like a walking ray of sunshine to him

anyway !!!! DATES !!!!!!!

dates with chuuya are planned.  always.

like i SAID he’s a hopeless ROMANTIC MY GOD

he absolutely loves picking you up at your doorstep and taking you for a ride around town on his motorcycle

speaking of which, your arms wrapping around his middle and squeezing him tight as he drives the bike is literally his favorite thing in the world.  oh my god you’re going to make him melt

and i know for a fact your first kiss with him was after he dropped you off at your door when your first date was at its end

it was almost completely perfect honestly, except when your faces were just mere inches from one another, his hat bumped into your forehead and fell to the ground

baby was so embarrassed-- he went bright red and picked up his hat, basically shielding his face

he just wanted the date to be completely perfect– and it was!! until that happened

but obviously you just let out a light giggle and pulled him against you, and he quickly closed the gap between your lips

also, chuuya sleeps in

he sleeps a lot <33

that being said he loves lazy mornings

it’s well past 11, but you’re still laying in his arms– who is he to get up?? and disturb the peace??????

he will not.

also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can’t even emphasize this enough, but please comb your fingers through his hair

there’s a chance he might melt into a puddle on the spot and never recover but still

on the rare occasion where he’s the little spoon--

(which, speaking of which, @dazai-centric​ has a headcannon that chuuya always insists on being the big spoon no matter what, but on rare occasions he lets himself be wrapped up in your arms and THEY’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.)

anyway, so on this rare occasion

where his head is basically buried in the junction between your shoulder and your neck, and you just rake your fingers through his hair softly

he dead.  dead as hell.

and ERRRRM.  kisses with him are just……… wow…………

naturally, he always wants to be the best at everything-- it’s just his personality

and kisses are no exception

he has to be the BEST

and he is

so, kisses are always so passionate and rough

okay hold on maybe this should go under the NSFW category 😐

ANYWAY!!!! 19472946/10 boyfriend

— NSFW

so rough sex is very common for y’all 😁

he likes to take his frustrations out from the day like this, and honestly you don’t complain

he definitely has a high sex drive so 😁

obviously you have an established safe-word and talk about everything before anything transpires because the LAST thing he wants is to hurt you in any way

but if you ask him to spank you he is definitely not gunna say no <3 chuuya said spanking kink

speaking of kinks

bondage xoxo

this goes both ways— he likes to tie your wrists to the headboard with rope and tie your legs down if you’re okay with it

for him, he likes his wrists cuffed to the bed

but he definitely doesn’t like all of his power stripped away by having him completely tied up

also he loves eye contact

that’s why missionary and mating press are his favorite positions <3

he likes to grab you by the jaw and make you look at him when he’s fucking you

“hey, hey, princess what did we say? if you want to cum, look me in the eyes when i fuck you, yeah?”

he loves praise and degradation equally

but if you’re degrading him don’t go too far :((

degrade slightly him while he’s on the bottom and he’s putty in your hands

now, if you praise him while he’s on top, get ready to not be able to walk for the next 3-5 business days because that’ll feed his ego a LOOOT

and he’ll just get lost in the moment because he loves you....... so much

he degrades you slightly, but only during foreplay

he calls you his little slut, or his whore

“aw, so wet for me and we’re barely getting started, doll.  such a little whore, aren’t you?”

when you actually get into it, it’s all praise from him

he wants you to know how important you are to him, how good you feel and just everything on his mind

he loses his filter in the moment awn god

“so fucking perfect, i only want you.  you’re mine.  god, you feel so fucking good.”

he loves to hear you too-- it really feeds his ego

but sometimes if he’s really had a rough day, he’ll make you gag on his finger or wrap his hand around your neck

he doesn’t squeeze too hard nor genuinely make you gag, he just likes the way your eyes are barely able to meet his because he’s making you feel so good

but ANYWAY pet names are a MUST with him

he calls you doll, sweetheart, princess, baby, dove, doll

basically every sweet name under the sun during sex

he likes you to call him sir 😁

this man has no shame when it comes to noise

like absolutely none

since he’s possessive, he wants people to know he’s fucking you, and how good he feels because of you

no one else can make him feel that way and he wants everyone to know

so he’s LOOOUUUDD,,,, especially in your ear

he likes leaning down and moaning in your ear, just to get a reaction out of you

he makes fun of you for it later on, and you have his full permission to smack that smug little smirk off his face

but the amount of times you had to stop mid-way because y’all got knocks on your door from your neighbours 😐 they’re so sick of y’all

on average, you have sex at least 4 times a week

that’s not including quickies tho

did i mention that chuuya loves quickies <3

especially when it’s in his office and he fucks you on his desk

and because he doesn’t care who hears him-- you bet your ass the entire Port Mafia has heard you

he likes to go down on you for quickies more than actual sex, and he will respectfully never decline a blowjob

because he’s a gentleman

anyway

sorry to any of y’all who have a breeding kink,,, but chuuya definitely does not

he’s so afraid of having kids

moving on

onto sub!chuuya

did somebody say SWITCH 🤨☝️

chuuya did <3

now for a long time he doesn’t really let his submissive side out because,,, it’s a really vulnerable part of him yaknow?

but after a while, and after he’s completely trusted you to take care of him like that

oh boy

bottom bitch <3

still loud as HELL

except it’s less of moaning and more of whining

he’s such a whiner

and a brat

mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink mo

also i don’t really know how else to describe it but-- if you force him to look you in the eyes and use a stern tone

..........dead.  dead as hell.

now take this drabble as a tribute to sub!chuuya

“and why should i listen to you?  what are you gunna do?” chuuya furrowed his brows at you, as if he was challenging you.

“aw, baby,” you leaned down from your position of straddling him, caging his head between your arms.  “you still have so much to say even though your hands are handcuffed to the bed.  so bold, aren’t you?” you stroked his lower lip gently, and he whimpered lowly in response.

suddenly, you sat up, getting into a position to prepare to get up off of him completely, “but, you’re right.  what am i going to do?  i guess i’ll just leave you here for the rest of the night.  go-”

“WAIT!! NO- I-” he bit his lip to stop any more words from escaping him.

“’wait’?  is there something you wanna say, baby?” your legs trapped his once again.

“... please.”

he averted your gaze, and you reached down to grip his jaw sternly, moving his head to face you completely.

“please what?”

no answer.

“you know i can’t read your mind, baby.  you’re going to have to use your w-”

“please fuck me.” the words tumbled out of his mouth, almost too quickly to even be audible, still, your lips shifted into a gentle smile.

but you weren’t completely content with him yet.

“and what’s my name?”

“...mommy.”

“and you want mommy to fuck you, is that right?”

“...yes.  please...”

you planted a passionate kiss onto his lips, and upon breaking it, you shifted closer to his ear.

“well, i can’t say no since you asked so nicely, now can i?”

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