#i hope i don't end up deleting this in the future

[m4ruk4ts]

to the 5 oc x canon enjoyers in the yfm fandom: can.......can i join........pls......

[born-to-lose]

Missing people and regretting shit o'clock

[longagoitwastuesday]

Rereading my own posts about JJK and the tags I left in those posts is making me want to chew wood. I knew virtually nothing but yeah yeah. The parallels between Gojo and Sukuna not only exist, but they are key. Yeah, Gojo indeed knows, trusts and relies on the people around his age he interacts with in that flippant, intimate and vulnerable way (Ijichi, Shoko, Nanami, Utahime); they were his classmates and childhood friends. Yes, Megumi and Gojo do go way back, I wasn't hallucinating it; in the last chapters, this will weight on the scenes in which Megumi laughs and smiles faintly. Yes, Gojo does sincerely care about things and the kids, and tries his best to do good and be good, even if he's also annoying and rude. Yes, indeed it is all very lonely. Yes, indeed there's ontological alienation. Yes, indeed love is like a curse, it is even stated that way. Yes, indeed last words doom, and keep people going; that too is a blessing and a curse, like love is. Yes, there's significance in Gojo using "boku". Yes, "when granted everything, you can't do anything... but just die peacefully" does apply to Gojo's life miserably. Yes, indeed there is a mix of longing for a normal life and being drunk on power, the feeling that one is hindering the future generations and a desire to make it better for them. Yes, indeed it is a mix of selfish and selfless motives. Yes, Gojo musing about Nobara's power being intriguing is indeed shady. Yes, Gojo's death will be done in a way that imply continuity kinda similarly to Cantor's hypothesis on the cardinality of the Continuum. And so on and on. Unfair how well constructed this manga is. Unfair how much wasted potential there is in it too. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop being frustrated about it all. It's so good. It's so unsatisfactory. The last chapter made me smile because oh it made so much sense, of course; it also broke my heart, because of course. I wish I had never gotten into it. It's given me a lot of joy, despite everything. I've drowned in remembrance. I've had a lot of fun. And in short, I love it, quite honestly. I can't even wish I didn't. I resent it, but I can't even wish I didn't. I love it, it's both a blessing and a curse; but that's how it always goes when it comes to love.

[buckyalpine]

Cheating!Steve x reader, Bucky x reader

Oh look, more cheating Steve with sweetheart Bucky to save us

A/N: Last year someone asked me for some mad angsty fic and I posted and deleted it so quick because it was god awful. Just awful. However, I had kept a draft of it cause even though I hated it and everything about it, I didn't want it gone forever. Upon rereading it recently...I kinda like it. So I decided to change some stuff (like most of the entire plot), switch around characters (I'm a Bucky girl) and repost. If you want to see the OG fic, I can post it again or just edit this to add it under the new version

Steve couldn't stand seeing you like this. In the hospital room, the needles prodding you, it all reminds him of hydra and the things he had seen on numerous missions. When you almost die, he's thrown back into the spiral where he has no hope for a future. And nothing changes after you get better. You had almost died once. Missions were getting riskier and you weren't always in the clear. In his mind, everything good in his life leaves him or gets ripped away eventually. Peggy was a prime example of that. It's just a matter of time.

Even in your injured state, your attention was all on Steve. You knew how much he hated seeing you hurt. It sent him into a dark place few people had witnessed. As soon as your eyes fluttered open, your tired eyes met his red rimmed, puffy ones. For days, every time you try to bring him back to you, he has his walls built up again.

He won't let himself love you more.

He drinks.

He drinks enough to get drunk. It takes bottle after bottles but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything any more. So much so, he decides to seek the warmth of someone else.

Because you almost left him.

You could die so easily.

You almost did.

Nothing matters any more. His moans of pleasure are empty but he's wrapped around her none the less. He doesn't stop until his body can't move, too exhausted to even think about guilt.

-

You have it all planned out. You were finally released from the hospital and the first thing you wanted to do was spend time with Steve. The team had left the compound so you could set up a movie night for you and the captain, you don't want to let him slip from your grasp, not after all you'd been through together. You didn't go through hell and back to lose him like this. You fought for your life to pull through.

There are snacks laid out on the table, a movie pulled up, some hot chocolate made just for you and him. You shuffle nervously, your heart beating erratically. You didn't spend 4 years with him just for this to end because you nearly died. No. He was worth the fight. His cold demeanor was not towards you but towards the fear of losing you. And that fear was from love. Love you both shared deeply for each other.

You knew he got back from the bar late; if he was too drunk then you'd help him to his room and talk to him in the morning. It was a new habit of his but you understood.

Except he never came. He always made it home. Not tonight.

Steve stumbled in the next morning, rubbing his eyes, seeing a small sleeping form on the sofa, snacks and some drinks laid out in the living room. He swallowed thickly when he sees you get up from the couch wearing one of his hold hoodies, making your way towards him.

"Steve?"

You have a soft smile on your face, but it drops when you get a closer look at him. Tears prickle at your eyes when you see the way his neck is littered in bruises, his skin still flushed. He can't look you in the eyes, not after what he'd just done.

"I-

You freeze before him, you don't want to ask. You don't want to know. The broken expression his face is enough for you. You wordlessly leave the living room, locking yourself in, giving FRIDAY instructions to make sure no one can enter.

"Did you talk to y/n" Bucky asks excitedly when he sees Steve sitting in the living room. He knows how excited you were about the movie night, spending days planning every last detail. His excitement drops when he sees the food untouched and you're nowhere to be seen. "Where is she?"

Steve remains silent, staring at his hands. The rest of the team enter the living room, hoping to find you both curled on the couch, but no. Nat's eyes narrow when she sees the hickeys on Steve's neck but something tells her they're not from you, you've never marked him like that before, you've always been so gentle with him.

"How could you?" She hissed, while the rest of the team look at her in confusion. It doesn't take long for them to piece things together. And it's a mess.

You come down to the living room, both Sam and Tony holding Bucky down on the couch while he glares at Steve, his hands still in fists. They all turn towards you with broken eyes, this is not what they ever wanted for you. The second he sees you, he breaks down. You're numb to his cries, his pleas.

He finds you leaving the compound at 1:00 AM from where he's still seated on the couch, something you'd never done before.

"Baby? Where are you going"

You ignore him, making your way to the garage. You were never able to sleep since and staying in bed only left you alone with your thoughts.

"I-I need some space. Don't worry about where I'm going"

"Y/n, please, just let me explain"

"No"

"I made a mistake, I-

"I don't care. I just want need some air"

"Promise me you'll come back?"

You shake your head, you can't even look at Steve. You scoff, shoving past him, not caring when he hisses in pain. His cheek is bruised, spots of dark purple and blue bloom around his eye and you'd seen Nat icing Bucky's hand earlier.

"Y/n, please angel, I-I just want to talk, just promise me you'll come back?"

"I promise" You reluctantly mumble, hopping on your motor bike and speeding off before Steve can call after you again.

You loved him so much.

You fought so hard to pull through for him, you heard every word he'd said to you when you were unconscious.

Tears clouded your vision.

It all happens too fast for you to comprehend.

The car doesn't see you.

The bend is sharp.

You bike is sent over the edge.

Darkness.

-

It's been a week.

You still haven't woken up.

It's all his fault. It doesn't matter that the driver was intoxicated. It didn't matter that it was dark out. You wouldn't have left the compound if he hadn't done what he did and it eats him alive.

He's not met with any sympathy.

No one bats an eye at his tears or sobs, too concerned about your well being to go and comfort him. Like clock work, every member of the team visits on rotation since they can't all be there at once. however Bucky is exempt from all hospital rules with one brooding, grumpy stare.

Bucky is by your side every single day. He doesn't say anything when Steve grips your hand, praying for you to wake up, silently praying himself while your heart monitor continues to beep. Steve refuses to move from your side but he's not given much of a choice when Fury summons him personally for someone mission related.

He's only gone for a few hours but that's when you finally stir. Bucky is on his feet instantly, paging for the doctor while stroking your hair.

"Hey pretty girl" Bucky whispers when your eyes finally focus, the knuckles of his metal hand gently caressing your cheek. The cool sensation helps you feel more alert. You smile seeing his baby blue eyes, feeling safe as he talks to you softly.

-

Everything hits Steve all at once. He didn't just betray you. He betrayed the team. His bestfriend. Himself. All the people who had faith in him to make the right choice, to do the right thing, to protect them. And he threw it away. Everyone waited a month for you to fully recover before throwing a welcome back party so you'd actually be able to enjoy it. Steve looked back longingly at the happy group gathered together in the living room, more emotions hitting him again.

He was happy you were alive. His sweet, sweet girl pulled through. H

He was envious of the love everyone was sharing, one he wasn't privy to anymore. He was invited, he was still apart of the team after all but he knew it wasn't his place.

He was jealous.

Jealous of the way you melted into Bucky's side. Longing to feel that warmth that he used to feel himself. Bucky had his arm around your waist, keeping you tucked right by him, taking care of you long after you were discharged. He wasn't going to stop any time soon.

There was something between you two, everyone could sense it. The soft gazes at each other and innocent kisses. Bucky wouldn't let a day go by without pressing his lips to your cheek, your nose, your forehead, the top of your head. He needed you to know you were loved and cared for. He stuck to his guns, claiming his actions were purely platonic but the pink blush on his cheeks proved that he was a bald faced liar.

-

Steve knows theres no one to blame but himself. He sighs and swallows the lump in his throat as you stand on your tiptoes to kiss the brunette, sealing you both together forever. He's always thought it would be the two of you standing together at the alter but how things had changed. The cheers of the crowd are a dull buzz to him. He watches Bucky swoop in for another kiss, this time dipping you and capturing your lips sweetly.

"I love you Mrs. Barnes"

"I love you more, Mr. Barnes"

Your happy, love struck giggles cause the first tear to fall.

He does his best to smile when you both walk by, flashes of what your wedding would have looked like. The white dress. The veil. The flowers.

if only he never-

But it was too late.

[flowersforbucky]

magnetic field

erik lehnsherr x reader

word count: 2k

summary: takes place following the events of days of future past. reader is a mutant with elemental manipulation powers.

a/n: this goes out to the three erik/magneto fans that will read this 🤧 i don't have high hopes for this but i still thought i'd give sharing it a shot. very well may end up deleting it but we will see lol

warnings/tags: a little bit of angst but mostly fluff! kissing, suggestiveness, implied smut but nothing graphic

You just keep me coming back

Something about how opposites attract

You hold me down

I'm in it for real

Love me, leave me high and dry

I'm back in your arms and I don't know why

I can't get around your magnetic field

- magnetic field by lights

It's just past dusk on a Sunday evening when he shows up on your doorstep with drenched clothes and dripping wet hair.

You knew that you were bound to see him again one day. You just didn't expect it to be here, or quite this soon.

“What are you doing here, Erik?”

You cross your arms and lean against the frame of your small cabin's front door, wrapping your cardigan tighter around yourself as you take in his appearance.

It had only been a few months since you had last seen him in D.C., but those few months had taken their toll on him. Dark circles encase his eyes that appear almost hollow.

“It always seems to rain when you're feeling particularly nervous,” he says with a half smirk. Thunder booms from above as rain beats down harder on the tin roof of your porch.

“It's Oregon,” you shrug. You concentrate on keeping your voice even. “It's rained for the last five days.”

He's not wrong. You do tend to subconsciously make it rain when you're nervous.

He chuckles under his breath, taking a step closer to you. Your breath catches in your throat.

“Do you really have to ask why I'm here?”

Now it's you who avoids his question. You have your hopes as to why he's here, but you can't bring yourself to feed into them. Not after all this time - after years of trying to move on while he was imprisoned, followed by a brief reunion during the events of Paris and D.C. that left your heart shattered all over again just a few months ago.

Can you really let yourself believe that he's simply here for you?

You raise a single hand to the side of his neck, your palm caressing the wet skin of his throat. His eyes narrow but he doesn't flinch away, only watches you curiously.

A second later, his previously soaked clothes and sopping wet hair are completely dry. He glances down, realizing what you did as you reluctantly pull your hand away from his skin. You think maybe - just maybe - a hint of disappointment flashes through his eyes at the loss of contact.

“Can't have you dripping all over my carpet,” you sigh, turning to retreat back into the house. You hear the front door click shut and you know that he's followed your lead inside.

“So, why Oregon?” He asks hesitantly as he slips his coat off and hangs it on a hook in the foyer. You turn to find him taking in the appearance of the place you've been trying to call home for the last few months. His eyes skim over the piles of books scattered throughout the small living room, and then to the bouquet of wilted zinnias on your dining room table that you had picked in hopes of making the bland space feel more lively.

“I'll answer your questions if you answer mine,” you offer, leaning against the edge of your kitchen counter. He walks to the dining room table a few feet away from you and pulls out a chair, taking a seat in front of where you stand.

“That sounds fair enough to me, darling.”

Your heart skips a beat at the familiar pet name. It feels as if it's been a lifetime since you've heard him call you that.

“I came here once as a kid,” you answer simply. “After what happened a few months ago, I couldn't bring myself to go back to New York. Charles, the mansion.. everything reminded me of you. I just needed to get away for a while.

He looks down at his lap, unable to hold your gaze. “I have so many regre–”

“Your turn,” you interrupt as you turn to the cabinet behind you. You rummage through it, gathering a tea kettle and a mug.

You aren't ready to hear his apologies. As badly as your heart has wanted to hear that he's sorry for so long, to hear him say that he regrets ever doing anything to jeopardize what the two of you had - you don't trust yourself to not crumble into a million pieces at those words now that he's sitting in your kitchen.

“How did you find me?” You ask without looking back at him. You fill the kettle with water, and bring it to a boil in seconds with the snap of your fingers.

“I'll tell you,” he says over the sharp whistle of the kettle. “But you can't laugh at me.”

You snort, pouring the boiling water over an earl grey tea bag as you try to ignore the swell of bitterness in your chest at the nostalgia of it. Memories of this exact scenario in a different time and place flash through your mind - a happier, more innocent time and place. You carry the mug over to where he sits and place it in front of him before pulling out the chair next to him.

You hold out your pinky towards him, elbow on the dining room table. He cocks an eyebrow at you.

“I pinky promise that I won't laugh at you,” you say, little finger still extended. He leans forward, lips forming a smirk as he wraps his pinky around yours. His skin is every bit as soft and warm as you remember it being and you dread the moment that he pulls away.

“I went to the mansion,” he answers with his finger still secured around yours. “I snuck into Charles’ study when no one was home and found some letters you had written to him. I saw the return address on the envelope.”

“Huh,” you muse. “I guess I see why you made me promise not to laugh.” You're not sure what you were expecting his answer to be, but you didn’t think it would be quite so… human.

“Your turn to answer a question, darling.”

Your only response is a small nod.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” you answer, perhaps a bit too quickly. “I don’t.”

His posture slackens, relief taking over his features. He leans over to where your fingers are intertwined, and presses his lips to the side of your pinky finger. It has been years since his lips have touched your skin, but you melt at the familiar warmth all the same.

“Good,” he sighs in relief. His breath fans over your skin, leaving a visible trail of goosebumps over your hand. “I do not intend to leave unless you order me away.”

Your eyes burn with tears that threaten to spill over. His sudden appearance, his words, his mere presence after so much time apart is overwhelming. Despite it all, you can’t bring yourself to care about the reasons why you’ve had to spend so much time apart.

He’s here, and that’s enough for you. Everything else can be addressed in time.

You bring your free hand to his face, cupping his jawline in your palm. Your thumb skims over the stubble that graces his cheeks.

“What do we do now?” you wonder aloud. His pale eyes crinkle as he gives you the first smile that you’ve seen from him in years.

“We try to make up for lost time.”

••••••

You heat him some leftovers from the dinner you had made for yourself not long before his arrival, a bowl of chicken noodle soup and homemade bread. He scarfs the food and the tea that you'd made for him down within minutes, and then retreats to your cabin’s small bathroom to rinse off the last few days of cross-country travel. He had brought a singular duffel bag that now rests on the foot of your bed - which just so happens to be the only bed in the house, seeing as how it's a one bedroom and you live here alone.

Butterflies fill your belly at the implication. There was once a time where it never would have been a question - of course the two of you would have shared the only bed in the house. Now, doing so could very well mean diving back in too quickly and ending up broken all over again.

But then again, didn't that become a possibility the second that you opened your door to find him on your porch?

“What’s on your mind?” His soft voice sounds from behind you. You had been so lost in thought that you didn't hear him exit the bathroom and wander back down the hallway.

You turn to find him leaning against your bedroom door frame, wearing only a towel that hangs loosely from his hips. His chestnut hair still drips wet.

Your eyes flicker between him and the spare quilt that you have piled in your arms.

“You can sleep in here,” you tell him with a nod towards the bed that you'd just put a set of fresh sheets on. “I'll take the couch.”

He chuckles lowly, standing up straight as you walk towards the door, blocking your exit.

“Don't be silly. I'm not going to kick you out of your bed in your own home,” he tells you in a gentle but firm tone.

“You're not kicking me out of my bed,” you assure him. “I'm offering it to you.”

Your cheeks warm under his gaze that you struggle to hold - your eyes threatening to wander down the expanse of his chest with the rise and fall of each breath that he takes.

“It's loads comfier that whatever cot that you were sleeping on in prison, I promise,” you jab at him lightly when he doesn't respond.

He hums in consideration, taking a step closer to you.

“It's not the cot that I minded so much while I was in prison. It's the fact that any bed without you in it feels empty.”

A clap of thunder booms in the distance at the same time that your heart skips a beat.

“I'm not expecting anything to happen, darling,” he assures you lightly. “We don't even have to touch. After so much time apart, I just want to be next to you.”

You exhale a breath that you didn't realize you had been holding in, and place the quilt in your arms on the dresser right next to you.

“Don't be silly,” you repeat his sentiment from just moments ago. You take a step closer to him, now able to smell hints of Old Spice soap from his shower. “Of course you can touch me. If that's what you want.”

“If that's what I want?” He scoffs softly, inching towards you. You place your hands on his hips, walking backwards until your thighs brush against the edge of your mattress. You're lodged between him and the bed, his bare chest practically brushing against yours.

“As if I’d ever not want that.”

He raises his hands to each side of your face and tilts your head up to look at him. His thumb massages over the swell of your bottom lip, his eyes locked on your mouth.

“Erik,” you breathe, and before you can get out another word, his lips are slated over yours. You pull him flush against you by your hold on his waist.

When you close your eyes and focus solely on the feeling of his mouth moving in synchrony with yours, you forget where you're at and everything that's happened over the course of the last decade. In this moment, you're not in a run down cabin in the middle of nowhere Oregon - you're in the courtyard of the mansion and he's kissing you for the very first time.

“I missed you so much,” he whispers against your mouth when he pulls away. You raise up on your toes, pressing your lips against his one more time before pulling back to stare up at him with a smirk. You sit down on the edge of the mattress and scoot back, pulling him down with you.

“Then let's make up for lost time.”

You don’t notice it until you're drifting to sleep in each other's arms hours later, but the thunderstorm that had been raging upon his arrival had slowed to a silent, peaceful mist.

thank you for reading ♡ comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!!!

[i9messi]

You belong with me — Charles Leclerc

You're Charles best friend and a famous singer. When he announces he is going to get married soon, people start to analyze your songs.

social media au

a/n: happy ending!! I got inspired by taylor's songs, I love her so much

charles' masterlist

charles_leclerc

she said yes 💍

liked by pierregasly, landonorris, arthur_leclerc and 693.183 others

view all comments

user1 no, I can't believe this. pls tell me isn't real

user2 you should marry y/n instead

user3 i'll cry myself to sleep

user4 our girl yourusername was meant to be your wife, not her

carlossainz55 congrats mate!

user5 you're team y/n and we all know it

yourusername I'm happy for you charless ❤️

user5 I'm so sad, i hope he regrets what he's doing

landonorris 😡😡 (comment deleted)

yourusername

new song will come out tomorrow, it's a little personal <3

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend and 923.162 others

view all comments

user1 another song for charles??

user2 my girl need to express her feelings

user3 must be a sad song

user4 "it's a little personal" okay, that means this song will break my heart forever

landonorris I'm not ready for this

carlossainz55 either am I

charles_leclerc ❤️

user5 DON'T GET MARRIED

NEWS! famous singer, Y/N, is in love with Charles Leclerc?

In her latest song You're losing me the singer and songwriter reveals some important details about her love-life.

read more...

You can also read!

Five songs of Y/N dedicated to Charles Leclerc.

landonorris

do something, baby, say something tagged yourusername

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 553.123 others

view all comments

user1 lando is us

user2 say something @/charlesleclerc

user3 three days and charles still haven't showed up. patience isn't my best quality

user4 @/charlesleclerc your best friend openly confessed in a song she's waiting for you to choose her

user5 I would marry her

landonorris me too

user6 Lando! I'm supposed to be team Charles

user5 user6 we can be team Lando too

carlossainz55 🧐🧐

maxverstappen1 I'll go and get some popcorn

pierresgasly this is good entertainment

NEWS! Leclerc and his fiancée ended their relationship?

Some sources confirmed what some fans were waiting for. Charles Leclerc is interested in his best friend, the famous singer?

Read the article.

NEWS!

A month has passed and we’re all asking the same question, What happened between Leclerc and Y/L/N? Since the singer and songwriter has released her latest song, fans haven't stopped mentioning Charles Leclerc, her best friend. Leclerc has made no statement on the matter, nor of his future marriage (have they cancelled it?). Lando Norris and other Formula One drivers seem to be aware of the events, however the protagonist of our story has been inactive in his social media.

Some days ago, fans have met the Ferrari driver at Y/N concert. Does his presence mean they are still good friends or has he finally ended his relationship with his fiancée? Is Leclerc single now?

charles_leclerc

I belong with you ��� tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 2.983.123 others

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landonorris WAR IS OVER

carlossainz55 I KNEW IT

carlossainz55 IM NOT BLIND CHICOS

user1 THANK YOU CHARLES

user2 finally our boy realized who was there for him all the time

pierresgasly 🥹 I'm so proud of you

maxverstappen1 finally, what took you so long?

pierresgasly he was an idiot

fernandoalo_oficial I want free tickets for her show, please!

user3 the world healed

[modmad]

Hey Mod, I don't know what's going on that hurt you, I feel like I missed something that's happened, but I can tell from what I did see that it didn't just hurt you, but scared you and made you feel a Lot of doubt. I've also seen a lot of messages pouring in with support, and I want to share mine.

I have hypermobile type EDS, fibromyalgia, and a whole bucket's worth of faulty wiring in my brain. And I've always had stories to tell but I never felt I was good enough to share them. If it's because I can't focus enough to get through nanowrimo, or because I can't manage the focus and time towards drawing as a hobby, or the fact that an excessive amount of either for me leads to my hands wanting to shut down. But you? You *inspire* me. Your stories, all the ones I've seen, read, experienced in some way or another, they're so good. And you're open and honest with your fans about your own health, and of course, we support you and always would rather you rest and feel as best you can, instead of pushing out something and working yourself too hard. But all of this is to say that. I think I would have given up on my own stories if I hadn't found you and yours.

I hope whatever is going on sorts itself out, I hope you're able to keep telling your stories. At your own pace, in your own way. I think you deserve to be happy. If there's anything we (your fans, especially those of us too awkward to come off anon, whoops,) can do, to help in some way? Even if it's silly videos or cute cat pictures or whatever it is that could just help you smile. We're here. We love you.

woof. I woke up to so many messages I can't even read them all in one go I'm getting too emotional- I do feel I owe an explanation so I'll explain what happened under the cut but all you guys need to know is I'm okay, I got through it, I love you, and you're so important to me and I'm so grateful for all the messages that have asked me to stay.

tw for suicidal thoughts and all that

yeah so I have the bad morning of all mornings: was introduced to the fact there's this one character (Mr Puzzles) on a very popular youtube that. resembles RGB. incredibly strongly. like. I don't want to link to it just look if you want to. Anyway at the time I thought it had just dropped (seems to have been around for 6 months actually), and having commented on it I immediately got an inbox full of hate mail.

My website, meanwhile, had locked both me and my web designer out of it, and- already in a bad state of mind- I went into full on panic/paranoid spiral of 'they have hacked it, and they are going to delete any proof that I was here before them.' This of course wasn't true, and we have since recalimed control of the site (don't know what happened there but hey. it's fine???? haha. ha.)

On top of this my father has terminal cancer of the pancreas, which is horrible for everyone already but it means that- at some point this year- I am going to be the only person with an active income in my house. I am disabled, do not make a lot of money, and the cost of living is skyrocketing. Combine that with months of Despair at the world right now, with the multiple wars, genocide, corruption and AI and the loss of control any of us have over our IP or lives and I just decided it was time to end it all.

I somehow remembered this was a bad idea to act on immediately (hard during a period of entirely irrational thought) and instead went for a very long walk, crossed the bridge I could have jumped off and during that I came out of the worst of it. I then came back home to so much love online I felt deeply ashamed for ever contemplating it, and I cried a lot. My nose is still puffy and now my feet hurt! lmao

Anyway. Yeah. There's your context. I am not going to stop hoping, making, or living. I am prone to moments of weakness and this was one of the worst of them and I am still here, thanks in a large part to all of you. I might need you in the future to defend me against this, or people who take our ideas, but I hope you know that I will do the same for you. We need each other, and to be there for you I need to be here at all.

also fuck Mr Puzzles

[kozachenko]

Here's a digital sketch dump of some pose/anatomy practices and some 2hu doodles, I think from now on if I don't have any big final piece to post, I'll just post sketches I liked that I did digitally (might also reblog some drawings of mine that I want more people to see, maybe idk).

Artist's Notes:

Ok so after the recent Hifuu fanart I did, I've been hoping to experiment more with how I draw faces, how I render, as well as how I stylize things. In some of the earlier sketches I did, I had an idea for a pose that I wanted to try drawing, so I took a ref pic of myself doing said pose (the leaning one btw) and then did a sketch over top of it just to get an idea for the shapes, negative space, and silhouette. After that, I wanted to do some simpler breakdowns of the shapes so I can get better at simplifying the body (these ended up being the bottom right sketches in the post). I also did some experimenting with how to push certain parts of said sketches to create a different body type (via liquify and then a more refined version based on that sketch), as well as figuring out what makes a pose feel natural and not stiff. This was also a bit of a foreshortening practice just so I can get more confident with it, and I ended up using the arms from the liquified version for the coloured Zanmu sketch I did since I liked them so much (dw I'll get to that).

The next thing I wanted to try and draw was Hisami, mainly because.... I am very bad at drawing her in my style. Last time I drew her I made her look really creepy and spindly, and it is my headcanon now that she can switch between a more human, and more creepy look whenever she wants. I'm liking where the face is going a lot, might have to refine a few things about it in the future, but it's cute (I also made the blush purple which I think is what I'm gonna do with her face from now on). I also like how her hair in the sketch turned out a lot, but the outfit..... not as much... Ever since I started changing my style to something less cartoony, I've had a hard time drawing her outfit in my style. Especially the flower veil thing she has on, which, I did try to find a way to draw, but I ended up deleting that sketch because I didn't like it. I'm also not a fan of using the colour purple, like, pure purple, magentas are fine, indigos are fine, but not strict purple. I also have a hard time with drawing all the little pattern details on her dress. I also need to find a way to draw the flower veil in a way that looks good because everytime I try it ends up just looking off (very similar to whenever I try to draw Zanmu's blue spears). I think the only solution to this problem is to do what I normally do and make my own version of the outfit, but with adjustments to suit my style while still trying to keep core elements from the original design intact (like I do with Zanmu and Keiki, and yes I am going to get to that Zanmu drawing just gimme a minute).

Ok next up is Keiki, my favourite Touhou character who I haven't drawn since the beginning of the year. Since my style has changed a lot, I wanted to just do a face sketch of her to get a hang of drawing her again, and I..... really really like how it turned out! When I drew her eyes, I realized that a good way of keeping faces too same facey can be via varying the sizes of their pupils, so that's an idea I'm gonna keep in mind from now on. I had a lot of fun with her hair, I initially was gonna do it like how it is in the official art, but I ended up not liking it, so now I'm gonna draw Keiki with wavy heir like this because it's fun and it looks nice. I also included my base sketch for Keiki's face since I was initially struggling with drawing her bandanna, and in the coloured sketch I added some more detail into her hair.

Now to finally talk about the sketches for Zanmu. Good lord was I having a tough time with her face. I also did this sketch before I figured out how I wanted to draw hair, so that's why the rendering on her hair is different (I did this soon after the Hisami sketch actually). Since I changed my art style a lot, I had to find a way to translate her face from my more cartoony style to my more detailed style, so while the face shape, nose shape and mouth was fine, I was really struggling with the eyes. I did get somewhere eventually though, and I am super happy with how it turned out. I wanted to lean more towards the androgynous side of the gender presentation spectrum, mainly because I think that makes sense for her character. Also made sure to include the silver hairs and some wrinkles just to bring some signs of her aging into her face because those are just staple features of how I draw Zanmu at this point lol. You will also notice that I gave her some scars on the right side of her face, and that's because I am a Zanmu-with-scars truther, I fucking love it whenever I see someone give Zanmu visible scars like that it just adds so much omg (I also tried to put a wolf bite mark on her arm in the full body drawing but idk if it reads well). While you can argue that her not having scars sells the idea of her being this "powerful, untouchable mastermind who is impossible to defeat," I'd say that instead of those scars representing times she got injured, they represent everyone who has failed to defeat her.

As I was drawing Zanmu's face, I referenced my sketch of to help with contrasting their features since I made Keiki's face more traditionally feminine. I also didn't mention this in my commentary on Keiki's face because I wanted to save it for here, but giving Zanmu scars also plays into the fact that she used to be human, wheras Keiki doesn't have any scars because she's a god who doesn't follow the rules of normal human biology. Plus I'm thinking about the two of them interacting again (return of Zan/Keik??? (I'm a multishipper btw) maybe???) so drawing their faces together will definitely help me in the future if I wanna draw them together (again, maybe as a ship? I've kinda been ironing out the kinks in their potential interactions (romantic and non-romantic) for a while now so idk maybe expect that in the future lol).

And now for the full body drawing, when I was doing the face sketch I did this little snippet of an outfit, had a vision, and the made it into a reality. I'll admit, part of me was worried that it would end up looking too much like Yuugi's outfits in the spinoffs and mangas, but I feel like I made enough changes to differentiate them. I tried to keep a few of the major details in Zanmu's design (i.e. the red tassles and yellow lining on her shirt) while putting a new spin on it. I also dialed up the scars to 11 since without them the whole thing kinda looked incomplete. Also, while I could say that the leaves on her kimono are "a nod to the fact that technically she should be a tengu because back then people belived that corrupt monks would turn into tengu but no Zanmu is an oni and they're maple leaves because...tengu...ahahahaha" what really ended up happening was that I looked up clothing patterns from Sengoku era Japan, liked the leaves the most because the red picked up on the red from the rest of her design and just ran with it. I also always had the idea to put Zanmu in men's clothing from Sengoku era Japan and while the accurate thing to do would be to put her in a Buddhist's clothes from that era.... from a character standpoint, I don't think Zanmu is pious enough to strictly wear the proper monk uniform, and also since she's basically the king of Hell, she would probably dress herself like royalty from that era. TBH, I probably could've been a bit more historically accurate, but again, this was mainly for conceptual purposes because I had a vision and I needed to see it through.

If I were to draw her in this sort of outfit again, I should probably try and use more references, although now that I look at it, if she were to wear it properly this would maybe, probably look a bit closer to a Kyūtai sugata (a very huge stretch, but it just kinda reminds me of that) just without the layers under and over the main piece of clothing (In the website that I searched up to try and compare the outfit in my sketch to, they name the outfit pieces but don't label them on the image, so I don't know 100% what everything is called) so I will definitely have to use that style of clothing as a reference going forward.

Also, I was kind of inspired by the ToTK design for Ganondorf since I have finished the game a while ago and I absolutely love what they did with his design (it's just so fucking cool omg) and I thought that sort of look would look good on Zanmu, so yeah got some inspo from that.

And those were all the notes for each of the sketches, I'm motivated to draw rn but kinda art blocked, so doing these little coloured sketches helps a lot.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Ghost Part 5 (NSFW)

AN: It's been a while, but we're back 🤭🤭

Synopsis: Jack comforts you when he finds out that you're going through a difficult time and you got a lot more than you bargained for. Now you have to make a decision regarding the future between you and him

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Do not engage if underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Walking into work on Monday morning, you were extremely nervous. It did take some convincing on Jack’s part, but you did in fact delete your Only Fans account by the end of that very same night. Now all you had to do was hope and pray no one saw it that was associated with your job.

Once you dropped Ace off at daycare, you made your way down the long hallway in order to get to your classroom and was in for a surprise once you did.

Sitting near your desk was Alicia Hamilton who was the principal of the school. The interactions that you had with her in the past were always pleasant and she always made it a point to ask about Ace and ask about how you were seeing as she was also a single mother and knew how hard it could be at times.

“Alicia, to what do I owe the pleasure?” You asked as you smiled at her, a smile that she in fact did not return. Instead it was a look of seriousness.

“Y/N, it was brought to my attention that you have an Only Fans account that involves explicit material.”

And there it was.

“What exactly does that have to do with my job? I do that outside of here and shouldn't get penalized for it.” You answered as you stood your ground.

“Trust me, Y/N I get it. However I have had numerous complaints and my phone has been ringing nonstop since this past weekend.”

“Alicia, you of all people know how hard it is to live on a teachers salary and be a single mom. I had to do something to make sure that Ace could eat. And I was in college when I did that.” You told her as you tried to plead your case.

“Y/N, I adore you and you are an amazing teacher, but my hands are tied. We could lose funding over this. If there was a way that I could fix this and make it all better, I would but as of right now I can't. I have to let you go. Ace can still come to daycare and get a discount. I just can't allow you to teach here anymore.”

“But…”

“I have a substitute coming for you all this week and you’ll be able to pack up your classroom after school lets out.”

“Just keep everything. I clearly don't have a use for it anymore.”

“Y/N…”

Without another word, you grabbed your purse and made your way back down the long hallway. You decided to let Ace stay the rest of the day while you had absolutely no idea what you were going to do.

As you settled into your car, the waterworks started and you didn't even stop them from rolling down your face. You knew deep down that this was eventually going to happen and you had no clue what to do in order to move forward. In no way, shape, or form did you blame Jack for posting your picture because there were only good intentions behind it. But now, it was probably going to be ten times harder for you to find another job.

Moving back home didn't sound like a bad idea at the moment, but you couldn't do that to Jack after all the progress he's made with Ace.

You simply sent Jack a text because you needed a few days for yourself and to think this through and you needed to have a clear head.

You- Hey, can you take Ace for a few days?

Jack- Yes, is everything okay?

You- It's fine, I just need some time to figure some things out

Jack- Are you sure that you're okay? Just let me know if you need anything from me.

You- I promise I'm fine, if you could pick him up today from daycare that would be perfect

Jack- Whatever you need

Jack told you that Ace was excited to spend a few days with him, but he was also concerned about you. He felt as if there was something that you were keeping from him and he made it his mission to facetime you after he put Ace to sleep.

Currently you were stuffing your face with some stuffed pasta shells that you had made earlier when your phone rang. You glanced to see that it was Jack and sighed. You didn't want to talk to anyone, but had to make sure that it didn't have anything to do with Ace.

“Hey.” You softly said as you propped your phone up so that you could continue eating and Jack could immediately tell that something was wrong.

“Y/N, something is wrong and don't lie to me and say that it's nothing.”

“It's nothing for you to worry about. I can deal with it.”

“I went to pick up Ace and when he took me to see you in your classroom, you were nowhere to be found.”

“I guess not because I don't work there anymore.”

Jack's eyes went wide.

“Fuck. It's because of me, isn't it?”

“I don't blame you for it happening if that's what you're thinking.”

“But it's my fault.”

“It was going to happen eventually. I figured that it would only be a matter of time. Where's my baby?” You responded while trying to shrug it off.

“Our baby is sleeping.”

You glanced at the time on the clock that was hanging on the wall in your kitchen and saw that it was a little past 8 at night. You were happy to see that Jack was keeping him on his normal schedule.

“Hmm.”

“His bedtime is 7:30 so the same thing goes when he comes over here. But we aren't done talking about your job so stop trying to change the subject.”

“There’s nothing left to say. It's just going to be ten times harder for me to find another job teaching.”

“Just take a break and relax for a while.”

“Jack, bills do not stop and I don't have the luxury of doing that.”

“You have me and I'm going to take care of it. Y/N, you aren't in this by yourself anymore.”

“No. I'm not a golddigger and we aren't even together so that doesn't sit right with me.”

“Don't you think I know that by now? Just let me help you. How does it look if I let the mother of my child struggle when she doesn't have to.”

All you did was shake your head and Jack looked at you confused.

“What's that face for? Just let me do this to help you.”

"Why, Jackman? Why now? Where was all of this compassion you had for me when I was pregnant with your child and scared shitless because I literally had NO ONE.” You asked him as you threw your fork down.

“Because we're moving towards a better future, that's why. I know that you have a right to be pissed at me for a million lifetimes all because I was too scared to step up and take care of my responsibilities. But I promise that will never happen again. My parents and Clay would kill me if it did.”

“You've made promises to me in the past and they proved to be empty.”

“This time it won't be.” Jack replied as you took a deep breath.

“Please don't make me regret this.”

You noticed that Jack wasn't looking directly at you and figured that he was doing something on his phone.

“Send me all your expenses for the month so I can add it to my bank account to come out automatically. And I also just put 5,000 in your account and I don't want to hear a word out of you. I'm doing this.”

“But…”

“Matter of fact since I know you'll be free for a little while, pack a bag with a few outfits and you can come over tonight or tomorrow. I think tonight would be better since you won't have to get up so early.”

“Wait, what? For what?”

“I have a few interviews and appearances to do so I'm bringing you and Ace with me. I already posted about having a son so it's not a secret. That way we can really spend time together like an actual family. I know Ace will be excited about that.”

Well, he didn't say anything that was wrong and you had absolutely nothing to lose.

“Fine, give me an hour.”

“Okay, let me get the guest room ready for you. And pick between lavender or vanilla.”

“Oh, you do this for all the girls that stay at your house? And what am I picking this for?”

“No, only for the special girls and you happen to be the first one. I also want you to be the last one if you’ll let me but we'll address that later. Now pick one.”

“I… lavender.”

“Okay your bath will be ready when you get here too.”

“Jackman!”

“See you soon, babe.”

It was around 10 at night when you finally reached his house and knocked on the door. Once he opened it, he was all smiles and took your bag from you and moved to the side so you could pass the threshold.

“I have everything set up for you, come on and follow me.”

Climbing the stairs of his house, you took in your surroundings because you literally hadn't been in it for more than five minutes. You saw multiple awards decorating the walls along with a few pictures of him and Ace, Clay, and his parents. Jack led you into what you assumed was his bedroom and he set your things in his closet.

“I have a little more room in here than the guest room closet does so I put your things in there and my bathroom is bigger so I have everything set up for you in there.”

“You definitely didn't have to do this.” You replied walking into the bathroom and you were in awe. The smell of lavender hit your nose upon entering and were surprised to see that multiple candles were lit. Jack came up behind you to throw in a lavender bath bomb as you were taking it all in. You couldn't even remember the last time someone did something like this for you.

“So that's why you asked me if I wanted lavender or vanilla?” You said and he simply nodded.

“Water is warm and I want you to take all the time you need. Your towel is here along with your robe….”

“What? My own robe?” You asked, cutting Jack off.

“Yes, I got it earlier today. I knew that something had happened and I picked up some things in order to help you hopefully feel better.”

“Well I appreciate you doing this for me. Can't remember the last time that someone was this nice to me.” You said and you caught Jack off guard as you went to hug him. After the initial shock, he hugged you back. This was as close as you two had been since Ace was conceived. Because the two of you were usually arguing.

“Of course, now come on before the water gets cold. I’ll crack the door so if you need me just call out.”

“Okay.”

You stayed in the bathroom for close to an hour before getting out and drying off. After blowing out the candles and brushing your teeth with the toothbrush that Jack had bought you along with giving a quick rinse to your face, you walked out to see him reading with the tv on a low volume. He heard your footsteps and looked up and smiled at you.

“Feel better?”

“I do, surprisingly.”

“I got the guest room ready for you and it's right next to Ace’s.” He told you as he put his book down and hopped up from the bed.

“Okay.”

“Oh wait, you need something to sleep in. Did you want to grab it out of your bag? If not, I can give you one of my shirts.”

“Your shirt is fine.”

Jack handed you one of his many Louisville Cardinals shirts and you held onto it and planned on changing into it once you reached the guest room.

“And make sure you don't steal this one.” Jack playfully told you as he remembered the many shirts that you stole from him during the very short time that you two were together.

“Hmm, no promises. I still have all the other ones and this will just be another one I add to my growing collection.” You answered as you thought about all the shirts that you had of his in your closet.

“Soon, I won't have any.”

“Stop being so dramatic.”

After Jack was back in his bedroom, it gave him time to think as he threw the comforter over himself and got comfortable.

He knew that this didn't fix the amount of pain that he put you through, but was thinking that it was a good enough start. He wanted to really prove to you that he was all in when it came to you and Ace. His end goal was having the three of you under the same roof and truly being a family. He knew it was a longshot, but he at least had to try. Progress was made when you gave him a hug catching him off guard and he felt that it was a huge step in the right direction. You had been doing everything by yourself for too long and it was time for that to change.

It was around 10 in the morning when all of you were on a plane headed to Boston. You and Ace were sitting next to each other and you were doing your best to entertain him while Jack was in front of the both of you when Urban came and sat next to him.

“Hmm so I see you two are talking?” Urban asked, gesturing towards you.

“Yeah, I'm just happy she's giving me a chance to get this right or at least try to.”

“Your ass finally grew up and it was about damn time.” Clay commented as he passed the both of them and went to pick up Ace.

“I'm also hoping that she'll be in a relationship with me again.” Jack quietly said in the hopes that you wouldn't hear and Urban just stared at him.

“You're my best friend and I have to be honest. I want you to be happy, but that sounds damn near impossible.”

“I know it sounds crazy, but I want us all under one roof. So much has happened and I have to make it right.”

“You can make it right by being a good father to Ace. Making it right doesn't necessarily mean that you two need to be together.”

“But I want to be, that's the thing. Truth be told, I see how amazing Ace is and I want more but I only want them with her.”

“You have done some serious soul searching because that sounds weird to hear you say.”

“Only thing is, I don't know if she'll go for it.”

“I mean, do you blame her? Look at how much shit you put her through.”

“But she hugged me last night. I called to check on her and I told her to come over because I knew she was upset. I bought her a whole bunch of things and ran a bath for her. I'm honestly surprised she said yes, but then again I wouldn't take no for an answer.”

“And yall didn't fuck? That was the perfect setup.”

“No! I need to take this slow and do it right.”

“Well…I… I just want you happy and if this will make you happy then okay.”

“What's the pushback for?” Jack questioned Urban as he saw him sigh.

“Look, this seems to be going a little too well and Y/N might pull something because of all the shit you've done to her.”

“Urb, she's not like that.”

“And how do you know? You were in a relationship with her for six months at most. You don't even know her if we're being honest.”

“I know enough to know that she wouldn’t do that, because she would have done it already with as much shit that has happened.”

“Well whatever happens, I'm here for you.”

“I appreciate that.”

It was the last day that you were all spending in Boston and you were currently helping Ace get ready because Jack surprised him and told him that he was taking him to a Celtics’ game. Knowing that Jayson Tatum was Ace’s favorite player, he got him a jersey in his size and he was wearing jean shorts with the New Balances that Jack designed. He also gifted you a pair that you planned on wearing with your olive green pants and white cropped hoodie.

When you were finished helping Ace tie his shoes, Jack walked in and smiled at the scene in front of him.

“Daddy, I’m ready!” Ace exclaimed as he ran over to Jack and he immediately picked him up.

“So that means we should get going. I have a feeling that you’re going to like where we’re sitting.” Jack had mentioned to you that you all would be sitting courtside and you didn’t tell him this, but you immediately got nervous. If you were sitting anywhere near him, you knew for a fact that cameras were going to be on the two of you which also meant that they would be on Ace.

Before Jack told Ace about his surprise, he consulted you first simply because this would be Jack’s first public appearance with him having Ace with him. He made sure that you were on board and assured you that he made a few calls to have an increase in security since the two of you would be with him.

Jack then looked over at you and smirked.

“Not you stealing my outfit.”

You looked at him confused before you looked down to see that the two of you were indeed matching. All you did was laugh to yourself and shake your head.

“I got dressed first so you in fact stole my outfit, not the other way around.” You replied back as you made your way over to the two of them.

“Hmm, I admit you do look good in it.” Jack replied and you tried to stop the smile from appearing on your face, but you failed miserably. It also didn’t help with the series of butterflies erupting in your stomach at this very moment.

“Daddy, can I get a hot dog?!” Ace asked as he looked at him hoping that he would say yes.

“Whatever you want, bubs.”

The three of you were currently outside of the arena and had just gotten out of the car when Jack could sense your nervousness and made a point to ask you if you were okay.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s going on over there in that head of yours?” He asked as he whispered in your ear as the three of you were being led inside by security through the back entrance in the hopes of avoiding too many fans. Last thing that Jack would want to happen is them bombarding him when you and Ace were with him.

“Just nervous, I guess. I’m not used to being around big crowds of people.”

Jack was holding Ace as he quickly went to grab your hand and held onto it tightly as he squeezed it.

“It's going to be fine, you’re with me. Just let me know if you ever feel overwhelmed and need a minute.”

You nodded your head towards him and Jack gave you a small smile in return. Soon after, you three were led to your seats and Ace couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Ace? What do you think of this view, bubs? You like it?” Jack asked and Ace immediately nodded his head as he spotted Jayson who was coming out to warm up.

“Daddy! Look!” Ace replied as he pointed in Jayson’s direction.

“Do you want to meet him?” Jack had sent Jayson a text the night before telling him that he was going to be at the game and that he was bringing Ace and how he was his favorite player. Jayson responded and told him that he would definitely make it a point to say hi to Ace during the night.

Suddenly Ace’s eyes went wide and he proceeded to turn around and hide in Jack’s chest. He would get like this often when he was meeting new people, but once he warmed up to them he was fine. He finally peeked up at Jack and gave him a slow nod which led to Jack smiling at him.

Once Jayson spotted Jack, he jogged his way over to all three of you and immediately greeted you and Jack before turning his attention to Ace.

“This must be the famous Ace that I heard so much about.” Jayson said as he squatted down to his height.

“That's me! How did you know my name?” Ace asked while looking at him confused.

“I know your dad and he told me all about you. I also heard that this is your first game?”

“Yes! My daddy got your jersey for me. Oh I forgot to say thank you. Thank you daddy.” He answered as he looked down at his outfit.

“You're welcome bubs.”

“Ace, I'll make a deal with you. If we win, I'll give you the ball.”

“Really?” He asked as his eyes went wide.

“As long as you're good for mom and dad the entire game, you can have it.”

It was safe to say that the Celtics won and Jayson even signed the ball before handing it to Ace who couldn't contain his excitement.

By the time that you all got back to the hotel and put Ace to sleep, your back was on fire. Your plan was to take ibuprofen and lay down as soon as possible.

Jack noticed you wincing as you came to steal his charger since yours was on its last leg and would charge when it wanted to. He quickly grabbed your hand to question you about it.

“What's hurting? You're wincing.”

“My back, but I'll just take something and go to sleep. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does I can barely move for like two days.”

“Umm, I can help you if you want.” Jack replied and you looked at him confused.

“Help me how?”

“I can give you a massage to help get the kinks out. It’ll probably make it feel better.”

“Seriously? Is this your plan to try and seduce me?” You questioned him while laughing.

“No funny business I swear.” He said as he held his hands up in defense.

“Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

“Just let me check on Ace and make sure he's asleep. You can stay in here and take off your clothes so you’ll be ready for me.”

“It sounds weird when you say it like that.” You replied as you plugged in your phone and waited for an indication to see that it was indeed charging.

“I did want to be a massage therapist at one point and I’ve been told that my hands work magic.”

“Hmm, I bet all the girls tell you that, don’t they?”

“Well now these hands are only reserved for you so you’ll have to tell me when I’m finished.” Jack winked at you before going to Ace’s room in the suite that was across the hall. You listened to instructions as you got somewhat undressed and wrapped yourself in a towel and simply sat on the bed and waited for Jack.

Once he returned, he locked the door behind him and told you to lay on your stomach with your chin resting on your arms. Jack undid your towel and moved it so that it was sitting right at your waist when you heard his voice.

“Um, Y/N, you have to take your bra off too.”

“Hmm, close your eyes and don't look.”

“Promise even though I've seen them plenty of times and even had them in my mouth.”

Rolling your eyes, you ignored his last comment as you slid the bra off your shoulders and placed it next to you on the bed. Next thing you knew you felt warm liquid on your back and Jack’s hands rubbing it in.

“What the? Where did you get the oil from?!”

“Shh, don’t worry about it. Just relax so I can make your back feel better.”

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but your back definitely felt better and you were glad that you agreed to let Jack do this for you. As you were about to move a little to the side to get more comfortable, you felt Jack hands on the outside of your back and they got higher until they became dangerously close to your boobs before making their way back down. He had done it a few more times before you decided to adjust again as his fingers lightly brushed against your nipples.

As his hands started to move back down, you quickly caught one of them and moved it so that it was right on the outside of your breast. Meanwhile, Jack is starting to get nervous because he wasn’t quite sure what to make of your sudden movement, but him asking a simple question was all the confirmation he needed.

“Y/N, you want me to do the front of your body too?”

“Yes.”

As you flipped over, your breasts were on full display for him and you laid your head back down as he grabbed more oil to place it on the front of your arms and chest. He massaged the oil into your arms first before gliding it over your chest and moving his way down to your stomach. Once he reached the lower part of your body, he wanted to move the towel to the side, but asked for your permission first.

“Is it okay, if I move this?”

You nodded your head and that was all the confirmation he needed. Moving the towel away from the bed, you were fully naked in front of him and he started to massage your thighs as he was trying to do his best to focus, he noticed that his pants were getting tighter and tighter begging for some type of release.

He had made his way down your entire body and quickly grabbed your hand to help you sit up indicating that he was finished. Once you did, you noticed the bulge that was evident in his pants. No words were exchanged as you immediately undid them and heard a quiet hiss escape from his mouth as you pulled them down to have them pool at his feet. His dick sprung to life and without another word being spoken, you took him in your mouth.

“Oh shit.” Was all he could moan out as he focused on you pleasuring him.

He made a makeshift ponytail of your curly hair so that it could be out the way, but knew because all of this built up sexual tension that he had every time that he was around you that he probably wasn’t going to last long.

As you released him, a river of saliva made its way out of your mouth quickly landing on Jack’s dick as you slowly put your mouth back on him.

“Y/N… fuck!”

You held eye contact with him as you moved him in and out of your mouth as he held your head in place. Your jaw was getting somewhat tired because of how big he was, but knew that he was close once you felt him twitch in your mouth.

Catching him off guard, you released him from your mouth again and he looked at you confused before you began jerking him off and sucking his balls at the same time. That was your go to move to get him to cum when you two were together and by his reaction, it still was.

“Yes, babe. Keep going, keep fucking going. I’m almost there.”

Within thirty seconds he was coming undone in front of you and you made it a point to take him back in your mouth as he was coming down from his high as you milked him dry.

When his breathing returned to normal, you simply looked up at him to see him now peeling off his shirt and removing his pants and boxer briefs from his ankles.

“You missed me sucking your dick, huh? Because I could definitely tell.” You told him as you wiped his cum from the corner of your mouth and quickly sucked it, tasting the last of it.

“I missed so much more than that, but you’re right.” Jack said as he brought his hand up to stroke your face and then leaned down to kiss you.

As hard as it was to admit, that was a feeling that you had missed.

“I figured I would return the favor for you giving me a massage, but you missed one spot.” You said as you took him in your hands again.

“Where’s that?” Jack asked and his voice suddenly got deeper making you become even wetter. Jack knew exactly where you were talking about but he wanted to hear you say it.

“You didn’t massage my pussy and I’m going to need for you to do something about that before I do it myself.” You answered as your fingers went to massage your clit, but Jack caught your hand.

“No need to do it yourself, because I’m here. Spread those legs for me.”

Smirking, you laid back as you spread your legs and soon felt Jack in between them. You felt him kiss it before he gave you one long lick making you moan and he immediately stopped.

“Be quiet babe. Don’t want you waking up Ace.”

You nodded your head and he continued to pleasure you as he slipped two fingers into you and made a note how wet you were for him.

Your hands found their way into his curly hair as you spread your legs even wider so that he could have better access to you. Catching you off guard, Jack stopped leaving you confused as he laid down on the bed next to you but not before throwing your bra that you had placed there clear across the room.

“Get up here and sit on my face.” He told you as he tapped your leg and you swung it over so that you were positioned perfectly with the help of Jack.

He had a tight hold on your legs and you knew for a fact that trying to get away from him would be damn near impossible.

As his mouth began to run over your folds, you placed your hand over your mouth in order to help you keep quiet.

Jack wasn't making it easy for you as he began to give his undivided attention to your clit. He quickly noticed how you began squirming and squeezed your legs even tighter anticipating that you would try to move away from him.

“What did I use to tell you about running from me?” Jack asked as he came up for air and was waiting for a response from you.

“That you wouldn't let me cum.”

“Good. Now stay still.”

In order to give yourself some leverage, you rested your arms on the headboard as you felt that familiar feeling in your stomach become more pronounced.

“Oh shit.” You couldn't help but to moan out.

Hearing your soft moans and whimpers was music to Jack’s ears as he could tell you were close.

Squirting all over his face, he continued to lick your folds as you did your best to stay quiet in the hopes of not waking Ace up.

When he was finished, he placed multiple kisses along your thighs as you rested against the headboard. When you felt as if you could function again, you moved yourself away from his face and scooted down until you were hovering over him leaning down to give him several kisses as you went which he eagerly returned.

“Give me another one. I miss kissing you.” You heard him say as he guided you back down to meet his lips with yours.

In between kisses, you slowly smiled because you felt the same way.

Not knowing how long he had you there for, you slowly felt him lift his hips up to enter you and you met him halfway as a moan escaped both of you.

To make yourself more steady, your hands rested on his stomach while his hands went to your hips to help guide you.

“You're riding me so good, baby.”

Using him saying that was your motivation, you began to go faster as his arms had now wrapped around your waist fully and sat up to suck on your breasts making a loud moan escape from you.

As he continued to kiss all over your chest, without warning, he flipped the two of you over so that he was now hovering above you and placed your legs back as far as they would go as he entered you again, bottoming out and began to move in and out of you slowly.

“Oh fuck, Jack go faster.” You breathed out and no words were spoken as he listened to what you wanted for him to do.

Within two minutes your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks and Jack slowly moved out of you as he came all over your chest and stomach.

The only thing that could be heard was both of your erratic breathing as you were trying to steady it. Once Jack had done so, he went into the bathroom before he made his way back over to you, gliding the warm cloth all along your body. When he was finished, he laid down next to you and immediately turned your body towards him once more so he could kiss you.

When the two of you finally broke apart, Jack still had his arm wrapped around you as you cuddled into his chest.

Waiting until Jack fell asleep and you helped move the process along by playing in his hair which you always did when you two were together, you gathered your clothes and made your way back to your room and took a quick shower before laying down and pulling the comforter over your body.

You were wide awake and your mind was racing thinking about what had just happened between you and Jack.

Regret didn't come across your mind at all, but now you didn't know where the two of you stood. Jack had been hinting on wanting to be in a relationship with you again, but at this moment in time you just weren't sure. He has definitely stepped up and been the father that Ace deserves but could he be the person that you needed when it came to a relationship?

Grabbing your phone, you opened the group chat and sent a text to Nadia, Blaire, and Liv.

You- I just did a thing….

Liv- Explain the thing!

Nadia- Wait, why are we all up? Where's Blaire?

Blaire- Present!

You- I just had sex with Jack

Liv- Oh

Blaire- 😀😀😀😀😀😀

Nadia- Okay, what's the problem? You got dicked down!

You- I think that I'm leaning towards giving him a second chance

[bridgertonnteas]

I have gotten a lot of anons about Bridgeton season 3 & the Polin "deleted scenes", so let me make things clear!

I said it again & again there aren't many deleted scenes, it was only one scene in the end of ep8 a lot of people telling me that on reddit someone is saying that 2 long deleted sex scenes were cut, but that isn't true at all & the same person is saying that people who got early screenings of 1-6 episodes had extra scenes, but again that's false

There wasn't any other mirror scene in ep7 & There wasn't any angry sex scene in ep7 either. There was however a different version of when Colin argued with Pen in the streets at night, instead of him just making her get into the carriage, he gets inside as well & makes her go home

By the way in the version that we got of that scene, he just doesn't leave her in a carriage. I have seen some people misunderstanding it, but he has been following her with another carriage and left after the carriage she took with his own carriage still following her, it was his way of protecting her from afar, the other version might be clearer, but both have the same outcome

As for ep8, there was a montage at the end that was mostly Polin making out/kissing fully clothed, & few seconds of them doing more like him going down on her, him kissing her neck and smiling playfully at their reflection in the mirror, them doing it in bed & her riding him at the end ( the few seconds we got of that was from that montage). In those scenes of them doing more during the montage; she was either wearing a nightgown or a robe, she was never naked in those scenes & he was shirtless or covered from the waist down, but the state of their undress was never like ep5 first-time scene

Nicola didn't have other scenes of her being naked or almost naked, that only happened in ep5 & the furniture-breaking scene was the first time scene in ep5, both Nicola & Luke confirmed that and even posted a picture of it, so why doubt what they said!

Even the showrunner & writer of the show addressed that in a recent interview that was released after part2 was released

In the early script draft, there was indeed a scene that wasn't filmed as far as I know of Polin in bed talking about his journals & her editing them, but again as far as I know it was never filmed. if it was filmed then it never made the cut

There were different takes on the epilogue, but all of them had a similar outcome

And by the way, deleted scenes or different takes of some scenes someone either shondaland or the main show account one day, or someone from the cast & crew could post them in the future, but who knows. It's possible, but at the same time don't get your hopes up

That's all I wanted to say because there's a lot of misinformation around and some people sadly built their idea & image of this season based on fake spoilers and got disappointed when those spoilers didn't come true and I think they should let go of those fake spoilers already & rewatch the season & part2 with a clearer mind because it's rather obvious how those fake spoilers are clouding how they think about the season!....

[deception-united]

Here, have some writing tips.

Celebrating 1000 followers! Love you all ❤

Your first version doesn't have to be permanent.

A lot of writers—myself included—may feel a sort of connection or duty to their original story, draft, plot, or characters. But being afraid to change what you already have will only hinder you. My current WIP (which I'm working on with @leisureflame, check out her blog!) has been changed—and I mean completely flipped around—countless times. We started out in a medieval setting with kings and queens and burning witches, and now it's a dystopian novel set in the future in a country they're forbidden to leave. Our main character was originally dark haired, olive skinned, reserved, fierce, independent, and now she's a sunburn-prone ginger with a sanity deficiency. We've scrapped and replaced multiple characters and sacrificed plot elements we loved to attain what is best for this story. It's incredibly sad, but sometimes, it's necessary.

Don't delete your ideas.

Or excerpts. Or character ideas. An idea's occurred to you at three in the morning? In the shower? At work? Write. It. Down. Immediately. The top surface of my bookcase is littered with random notes in smudged pencil that I've jotted down. Referring back to the last point, if you change or scrap a part of your story, keep it somewhere. I like to keep a notes document that I perpetually add the most random things to: out-of-context lines of dialogue, phrases I like, new vocabulary, character descriptions—anything, really. Even if you know you're probably never going to have occasion to use it, take note of it anyway. You never know when a previous idea will be just the element you need in your story. And if not, well, they're fun to read over later.

Free write.

I know I covered this in a recent post, but I'd just like to stress on it again. Open a document or a page in your notebook and just start writing. Whatever comes to mind. Doesn't matter how nonsensical or embarrassing or muddled, as long as you're writing. This exercise can really help regain or maintain your creative flow. You'll end up with some passages that are horrible and that you will never deign to set your eyes upon in the rest of your years, and others you'll cherish. In any case, whether the result is good or atrocious, you'll have written something. It's a good way to combat writer's block, or boredom. I recommend it.

Hope this helps. Thanks for all your support!

Previous | Next

[nezuscribe]

I have a lot to say but I don’t know how to phrase any of it so I hope that this will make some semblance of sense.

Firstly, I want to apologize if I ended up spam liking with arranged!Gojo. I came across this universe earlier today and I’ve read as much as I could within the scraps of free time I have today. I think I’m fully caught up and I can’t wait to read more of this in the future! (Assuming that you want to or have interest in continuing to post this universe)

For some reason, your reader deeply resonates with me. She’s someone that I’ve tried to outgrow, (sorry again if this gets too personal) out of fear that I could never have a friend, let alone a group of people that I’ve discovered and be honored to have met them. It pains me to say this, but I think a part deep down inside me has given up on finding the person, a person that I click with and will love more than anyone else — platonic, romantic, or whatever flavor of love it’ll come in. However, after years of trying to shake off (although at times it feels more like hiding) things that I coincidentally have in common with your reader, I think I have the hesitant, terrified hope that maybe something like this could happen to me- that I’m not destined to be alone as cheesy as that sounds… So seeing reader get their person is incredibly inspiring for me and I’m beyond ecstatic that they got their happy ending!!

Your writing with arranged!Gojo is everything and more. I’m afraid that it will haunt me for the rest of my life (in a good way I promise!). It’s so melodic, so realistic and raw and… human?

(If that’s not weird to say, that is if it was and I’ve offended you I apologize again, I’ve- never did something like this before so it’s all unfamiliar to me. Forgive me as I stumble through a forest in the middle of the night with a blizzard with only a thin cloak, a faint lantern to keep me company, and hope that this will be well received.)

I guess I’m trying to say that as I’ve read more and more of your works, I feel… something now and I doubt that I could ever absolutely leave behind. A sense of yearning? Hope? Feeling seen maybe? I’m not- quite sure and I doubt I could ever figure it out, nor do I ever want to.

Man, this is probably a mess to read through and understand so I’ll try to wrap things up to prevent torturing you any further with this nonsensical rambling.

Thank you. Thank you, for sharing your ideas and headcannons with arranged!Gojo. Thank you, for sharing your unique writing, that has happened to resonate with me (I’ll spend eons trying to untangle bits of myself from it and I’ll never be done), and probably others so intensely. Thank you, for providing hope and some confidence that someone (I couldn’t dare hope for many people), could like me for me (shy, scared me instead of the more outgoing personality I act like), for being a moment of calm in a storm I never realized I was drowning in. Thank you for so, so much. It might be a bit too early to say, but I think you might’ve changed my life in a small way, if not a large way. Sincerely, thank you.

- a new supporter

And again, if any of this made you uncomfortable or was too personal or too anything, feel free to ignore and delete this ask! I just- wanted… no needed to try and convey a fraction of what I felt and thought today.

Also, I don’t want to rush you or make you uncomfortable or anything but I would love to have the opportunity to bind everything arranged!Gojo in the future if you’re comfortable with it? I’m happy to talk more details in a private chat, if you would like? (Is that the correct term? I’m not too terribly sure.) I’m also planning on giving you your own personal copy too, if you would like it that is I don’t want to accidentally force you to do anything.

omg thank you so much for sending this in it really made my day <3

and i totally get you nonnie don't apologize. the reason why i write my reader the way i do is because i've lived my entire life believing that something is inherently wrong with me, and that i have to fix myself in order to make somebody like me. and so i get what you're saying and feeling.

i'm so happy that my fics changed your mind, however. i write in hopes that other people can relate and maybe be able to know that they're not alone. and don't apologize for spamming, i get happy knowing people actually read the stuff i write !

and at the end of the day i really hope people take away the simple idea that they'll be loved no matter what. if not with my fics, then with all the other wonderful authors tumblr has. i think we all hope to be loved like that one day, and to know that it's possible and deserving too!

and i would love to see what you have to offer with binding! i've never considered it before but that sounds really cool:)

[genshinluvr]

Failed Attempts

Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: An AU in which you and the men aren't dating (yet). This is about the men and their failed attempts at flirting with you and getting some alone time with you away from the others.

Note: Hello, I typed this out while I was sick, so I have no idea how this turns out. I did have a first draft at first, but then I didn't like how it was turning out, so I deleted the first draft and started a new one. Which is this one! ;v; I hope you all like it or at least find it decent. I type the entire thing while having a fever and during my midterms week 💀 Since Valentine's Day is coming up in two days, I guess this can count as one. Especially towards the end of the fic, maybe 🤔 To the new and returning readers, please remember that I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: None that I know of unless Childe wanting fourteen children counts.

Word Count: 10.1k

There are many times when the twenty-five men have attempted to flirt with you and ask you out on a date, but their attempts would fly over your head. Imagine trying to ask your crush out or flirt with them, only for them to stare back at you cluelessly or brush it off as any other comment. The reaction is like a kick to the gut, but in this case, a kick to the ego and pride. It’s a hilarious sight for Lumine, Paimon, and anyone who witnesses it in person. The failed attempts are entertaining for any person that sees them in person. Not only is it funny, but it’s also hard to watch.

Here you are, pinned against the wall. Childe’s arms cage you between the wall of the estate and his body. He gazes at you with intensity while you stare back at him owlishly. The look on your face is so cute that it makes Childe want to lean down and bite your cheeks. The upstairs cheeks, but the downstairs ones are good too— for the bedroom.

“So, [Y/N], what do you think about us having a future together? You, me, us living in Snezhnaya and having fourteen children?” Childe asks casually.

You look at Childe with wide eyes. “Fourteen children? I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that many children, Childe. I can barely handle twenty-five men living under the same roof as me,” you say lightheartedly.

Childe opens his mouth to reply, but the timer next to the oven chimes, startling both of you. You peek from under his arms, and your eyes light up. Before Childe had you pinned to the estate’s wall, you were baking cookies because you were craving chocolate chip cookies. And now they are done baking in the oven!

“The cookies are ready!” You said.

You duck from underneath Childe’s arms and trot over to the kitchen, grabbing oven mitts, opening the oven, and pulling out the tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. The smell of freshly baked cookies wafts in the air, almost making you moan at the delicious aroma. Childe is left standing there, his mouth agape, looking at you in disbelief.

Pantalone snickers and props his arm on Childe’s shoulder with a smirk. “Maybe [Y/N] doesn’t like the idea of being trapped in Snezhnaya with mini Tartaglias running around,” Pantalone teases Childe.

“I don’t blame them for avoiding Childe’s strange proposition! Sounds like a nightmare for us all! One Childe is enough already,” Scaramouche rolls his eyes, smirking at the annoyed ginger Harbinger. 

Itto snorts and smirks at Childe. “Maybe they’re not interested in you, Childe. I think they might be into onis like myself,” Itto says, flipping his hair over his shoulders.

Childe makes a face at Itto, brushing Pantalone’s arm off his shoulders with an eye roll. While in the kitchen, you place the chocolate chip cookies on the cooling rack and take your oven mitts off after closing the oven. You set the timer to five minutes for the cookies to cool down, placing the timer next to the cooling rack.

You walk out of the kitchen and dust your hands on your apron. “The cookies should be ready to eat after five minutes! Although I can’t guarantee that it won’t be hot. I think it’s better to eat them fresh than eat them days after it's fresh out of the oven,” you said.

Kaeya approaches where you’re standing and stands before you. Kaeya caresses your face in his left hand, brushing the tip of his thumb against the apples of your cheek. Kaeya smiles at you and gazes at you with the softest expression you have ever seen. You look at Kaeya, breathless. Kaeya brushes a strand of hair away from your face, tucking them behind your ear. Childe, Itto, Pantalone, and Scaramouche stare at Kaeya blankly. How dare Kaeya make such a suave move on you right in front of their very own eyes? Especially after Childe’s failed attempts of getting you to elope with him, move to Snezhnaya with him, and raise fourteen children together. Not that they think about it— Childe, Itto, Scaramouche, and Pantalone can see why the red-headed whine tycoon dislikes his adoptive brother so much.

“Once the cookies are done cooling down, care to eat the cookies with me in front of the fireplace? Just you and me?” Kaeya asks.

To you, Kaeya’s voice is soft and gentle. But to the other men around him, Kaeya’s voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Of course, the Calvary Captain is suave with the ladies! It’s no surprise that someone like Kaeya would be able to scare a total babe like you. Right? You stare up at Kaeya, and a big smile appears on your face.

“That sounds perfect, Kaeya! We can all sit in front of the fireplace and eat freshly baked cookies! It’s a perfect atmosphere!” You said.

Everyone almost burst out laughing. Kaeya didn’t have a strong reaction to your obliviousness. Instead, Kaeya continues to smile at you and nod. Kaeya doesn’t mind that other people will be joining the both of you in front of the fireplace, eating freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that you have baked. As long as you’re sitting next to him, he doesn’t mind having other people join you two.

Kaeya’s bottom lip juts out. “You’ll be sitting next to me, right?” Kaeya asks. He reaches for your hand and interlocks his fingers with yours.

The little display of affection causes the men in the room to go silent. Eyes narrowing, their eyes zeroed in on your and Kaeya’s laced fingers. You squeeze Kaeya’s hands and nod.

“Of course, we can sit next to each other, Kaeya! You don’t need to ask,” you reply. “Besides, I think everyone sitting around the fireplace while eating cookies would be a perfect time for us all to get to know each other more,” you said.

Itto holds his hand in the air. “What if we don’t care about the others, but we only care about you?” Itto asks.

You snort. “Itto, I think you all should care about each other regardless. Plus, since we’re all living under the same roof in the abode, it would be nice if we all got to know each other and formed a friendship,” you reply.

“What about a relationship?” Aether asks.

You stare at him and at the other men, who are all anticipating your response to Aether’s question.

“I mean, if you all want to get into a relationship with each other, go ahead!” You shrug your shoulders.

Everyone in the room either face-palmed or stared at you in disbelief. How are you this dense? Well, technically, Aether wasn’t as specific as he should be, but your response is something they did not expect.

“No, no, no, sweetheart. I think Aether meant forming a relationship with you,” Capitano says, rubbing your shoulders.

You shrug your shoulders again. “A relationship can mean anything. There are many terms for relationships,” you murmur, stroking your chin.

Kaveh slams his forehead on the table. “Dear archons! This is getting us nowhere,” Kaveh groans.

You wince at the sound of Kaveh’s forehead meeting the wooden table in front of him. The tension in the room is interrupted by the sound of the timer chiming from the kitchen. You walk to the kitchen to check on the chocolate chip cookies, leaving the men to their thoughts.

“I can’t believe that [Y/N] assumed that we wanted to date each other,” Gorou shivers, shaking his head.

Ayato sighs and rubs his temples. “I can’t tell whether they’re pretending to be oblivious about us trying to make a move on them or if they’re being serious about it,” Ayato murmurs, looking over in your direction.

“Judging by the expression on their face, I’m afraid they’re not joking around,” Diluc replies.

A few minutes later, you emerge from the kitchen with a plate of chocolate chip cookies in your hands with a big smile. You gesture for the men to follow you to the living room and set the plate of cookies down in front of the fireplace. The cookies are warm, and you broke one cookie in half in the kitchen to see how well the chocolate has melted, and it was perfect. 

“The cookies turned out perfect! It’s a perfect amount of gooeyness to the melted chocolate, and it’s warm and soft,” you said.

Thoma walks up to you and drapes his arms over your shoulders. “The cookies look perfect, [Y/N]! I can never get my cookies to turn out as perfect as yours. Care to show me how to bake a cookie as perfect as yours?” Thoma asks, smiling down at you. 

You smile and nod. “Of course! I’ll write down the instructions for you and give them to you tonight!” You said, grabbing a piece of cookie and biting into it.

The chocolate melts on your tongue, and the flavor bursts in your mouth, making you moan. You close your eyes with contentment and lick the chocolate from the corner of your lips. The cookie tastes heavenly, and you certainly died and went to heaven after taking a bite of the cookies. When you open your eyes, you notice that no one is eating the cookies. Instead, their eyes are focused on you, more specifically, your lips. 

“What? Is there something on my lips?” You ask, feeling around your lips to make sure there aren’t any crumbs sticking to your lips.

Albedo nods his head and steps forward. He cups your face in his hands, tilts your head up, and wipes the small piece of crumb near your chin. Albedo wipes a tiny bit of chocolate stain at the corner of your lip before lifting the same finger and licking the chocolate from the tip of his finger. 

Albedo smiles at you. “There’s no need to worry about stains and crumbs on your face anymore, [Y/N],” he says softly. 

Albedo walks back to where he was standing earlier and crossed his arms over his chest with a faint smug smirk. The men around him look at Albedo in disbelief. How can someone like Albedo make such a bold move on you? Especially when it’s in front of other people who want [Y/N] almost as much as Albedo does. 

Kazuha lets out a low whistle. “How suave of you, Chief Alchemist,” Kazuha says, smiling at Albedo while gazing at the Chief Alchemist from the corner of his eyes. 

“So… are we not going to eat the cookies?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. “Of course, none of you have to eat the cookies if you don’t want to! I’m not going to force any of you to eat the cookies,” you chuckle, walking over to the couch and plopping down on it. 

Baizhu leans to Al Haitham and whispers, “Did Albedo’s action not affect [Y/N]?”

“I’m not entirely sure. [Y/N] is hard to read,” Al Haitham mutters.

Heizou grabs a chocolate chip cookie and sits on the couch beside you, looking over at Kaeya with a smirk on his face. Kaeya stares at Heizou with his eyebrows raised, a humorless smirk appearing on Kaeya’s face. Heizou taps your shoulder and motions for you to rest your head on his shoulders.

“If you need a shoulder to lean on, you can always lean on my shoulders. Only someone as special as you can lean on my shoulders,” says Heizou, shooting you a charming smile.

Without a second thought, you happily lean your head on Heizou’s shoulders while taking a bite of your cookie. You look at Kaeya and reach your hand out, making grabby motions with your hands. Kaeya feels his face heat up before walking over to you. Kaeya sits beside you, pulls you onto his lap, and reaches for a chocolate chip cookie to snack on while the men are glaring daggers at him.

“You’re really comfortable,” you murmur, snuggling into his arms after finishing your chocolate chip cookie.

Tighnari purses his lips. “I will not eat a chocolate chip cookie unless [Y/N] gets off of Kaeya’s lap,” Tighnari comments, sticking his nose up in the air with a huff. 

Cyno raises his eyebrows at Tighnari. “Well, that’s an unusual thing for you to say, Tighnari. I can see Childe be the one to make a comment like that, but you?” Cyno asks.

Pierro rolls his eyes. “Not only is it unusual, but it’s also childish coming from someone of his caliber,” Pierro looks at Tighnari from head to toe with an eyebrow raised.

A few minutes later, you end up getting off of Kaeya’s lap and walking back to the kitchen to grab a glass cup of milk. The cookie would taste even better with milk, so why not get some milk to drink with your chocolate chip cookie? When you walk back to the living room, everyone is already standing, and the cookies are missing from the plate. You look at the men and notice that their cheeks are stuffed.

You point at the plate and back at the men in front of you. “Did you all eat the cookies while I was gone?” You ask.

Venti quickly chews the chocolate chip cookie in his mouth and nods. “Yes! The cookies are delicious! We couldn’t help ourselves and decided to eat them,” Venti clears his throat after almost choking on a piece of crumb.

A big smile appears on your face after hearing what Venti said. “That’s great! What do you guys think of the cookies? Anything I need to change or improve on?” You ask.

Xiao shakes his head. “There’s nothing you need to change. The cookie is perfect, just the way it is. The same goes for you,” says Xiao.

Xiao hears a faint chuckle coming from behind him. Xiao’s head snaps towards the person’s direction, and he sees Dottore chuckling behind his hand while standing beside Pantalone, who is also chuckling.

“The Yaksha flirting with [Y/N]? How precious,” Dottore coos, giving Xiao a teasing grin.

Zhongli gives Dottore a disapproving look and shakes his head. “Dottore, I wouldn’t be speaking if I were you. Xiao has a subtle way of complimenting someone without being overbearing like someone in this room,” Zhongli says, turning to look at Dottore. 

The corner of Zhongli’s lips quirked up when Dottore’s smile slipped off his face. Dottore narrows his eyes at Zhongli and rolls his eyes, looking away from the ex-archon with his arms crossing over his chest. 

“Should I make more cookies?” You mutter, staring at the plate intently.

Dainsleif smiles at you. “That is up to you. Do you have enough ingredients for extra batches of cookies?” Dainsleif asks.

You puckered your lips and sighed. “I don’t think I do, but that’s okay! I can make more cookies next time!” You said.

You look at Dainsleif and notice that he has tiny little crumbs at the corner of his lips. You place your cup of milk down on the table before walking over to where he’s standing. You stand on the tip of your toes and wipe the crumbs away.

You look at Dainsleif through your eyelashes. “There were crumbs from the cookies at the corner of your lips. I had to wipe it away,” you murmur. “Although you look cute with cookie crumbs at the corner of your lips.” You giggle.

Dainsleif stares down at you, his cheeks bright pink. You give him a small smile and let your hand fall to your side. You turn and see the others looking at you and Dainsleif with a blank stare; all of them have crumbs at the corners of their lips.

Heizou points to his face. “I have crumbs on my face too. Care to wipe them away for me?” Heizou asks, flashing his pearly whites at you.

You snort and playfully roll your eyes. You walk up to Heizou and dust the crumbs from the corner of Heizou’s lips and cheek. Without saying a word, the men all line up behind Heizou, waiting for you to wipe the chocolate chip cookie crumbs off their faces. 

After Childe and Kaeya’s failed attempts at flirting with you, everyone assumes that you are either not interested or they just suck at flirting. Your stay at the estate continues to be peaceful, albeit a little bit awkward, because of the tension between the men and their unspoken competition to see who can ask you out first. While the men have been trying to flirt with you, you see their comments as them showing that they care about you and how attentive they are to you.

One way the men showed that they care about you is when that one time when you fell ill and couldn’t get out of bed because of how fatigued you felt and how weak your limbs were. You woke up one day and could barely open your eyes. All you wanted to do was to sleep in and do nothing at all but sleep. 

Your eyes crack open to the sound of knocking coming from your bedroom door. You roll over on your side and keep your eyes close, snuggling up against your blanket and pillow, feeling yourself drift off to sleep. You’re woken up by the sound of a knock coming from behind your door.

You swallow your saliva, feeling it slide down your severely dry throat, causing you to wince. “Yes?” You call out weakly.

You almost didn’t recognize your voice because of how scratchy and dry your throat feels. You clear your throat and weakly reach over to your nightstand for a glass cup of water. You sit up and pour water from the pitcher into the glass cup. The door to your bedroom cracks open, and several men peek into your room and see you chugging the water as if you haven’t drunk anything in days.

After drinking an entire cup of water, you put the cup down on your nightstand and wipe the water from your lips. Even though you chugged a whole cup of water, your throat continues to feel dry and scratchy.

“You don’t look too good, sweetheart,” Gorou frowns.

You smile at him weakly. “I don’t feel well either, Gorou,” you reply. 

You clear your throat and plop down on your bed, staring at the ceiling. Baizhu and Dottore push past the men and rush over to your bed. Baizhu and Dottore look down at you. You look like you’re about to pass out at any minute. You have dark circles underneath your eyes, your skin feels cold and clammy when Baizhu presses the back of his hand against your forehead, and your neck feels almost hot.

Dottore frowns and caresses your face in his hands. “Oh, sweetheart. It looks like you have a cold,” Dottore whispers, tucking your hair behind your ears and wiping the sweat from your forehead. 

“Stay in bed, alright? We’ll get you medication, and Thoma will make you some soup to eat,” says Baizhu; he turns to look at the blond.

Thoma nods and quickly rushes out of your bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen to make some soup for you to eat. Baizhu and Dottore leave your side and walks to the infirmary in the estate, leaving you under the care of the other men. Diluc walks over to your bed and sits at the edge, watching you slowly get under the blankets, pulling it up to your chin.

Diluc leans down and presses his lips against your forehead, catching you and the others off guard. Diluc slowly pulls away and brushes the strands of your hair away from your sweaty forehead.

“Get well soon for us, alright? We don’t like seeing you sick,” Diluc murmurs, brushing his thumb against your flushed cheeks. 

You pout and attempt to poke his cheek in return, but you feel so weak that your hand falls onto the bed halfway. Diluc’s gaze softens, and he reaches for your hand, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

“I don’t know how I got sick. Maybe it’s my lack of sleep that got me sick,” you murmur, curling up into a fetal position and gazing at Diluc with bleary eyes. 

Al Haitham leans against the doorway. “Have you been around anyone that’s sick? None of us are sick,” Al Haitham gestures to everyone in the room with an eyebrow raised. 

You shake your head. “I don’t think so, but then again, I’ve always had a weak immune system. Unfortunately, having a weak immune system makes me vulnerable to many illnesses and diseases,” you reply. 

“Oh no,” Tighnari breathes, rubbing his temples with a sigh.

Kaveh points at you. “So, what you’re telling us is that we should put you in some kind of a bubble to protect you from all kinds of sicknesses, got it.”

You snort and nod, clutching tightly onto your soft blanket. “Yes, Kaveh. That is correct,” you murmur.

Aether looks like he is about to burst into tears; seeing you sick and in this condition worries him a lot. You mentioned that you have a weak immune system means that you’re very vulnerable and are susceptible to getting sick easily. Aether doesn’t want to see you suffer and be bedridden because your immune system isn’t strong enough to fight off many diseases and illnesses. Aether walks to you and sits across from Diluc, close to your thighs.

Aether leans down and rests his head on your stomach, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Please get well soon. I want you to be healthy, happy, and with me,” Aether looks up at you with a small pout on his face.

You chuckle and run your fingers through his soft blonde hair. “Aether, I’m always with you and the others. I hope I can recover from this cold because it’s a pain in the ass to be sick,” you murmur, pinching his cheek lightly.

Aether pouts after seeing that you didn’t know what he had implied earlier. The sound of stifled snickers fills your bedroom. Aether narrows his eyes and slowly turns to the group of men by your door, hiding their grins behind their hands. 

“Another failed attempt, but this time, it’s by Aether,” Venti whispers to Xiao, hiding his snickers behind his hand.

Xiao rolls his eyes, looking away from the bard while biting back a smile that threatens to appear on his face. Aether gets off of you and walks over to the two anemo vision wielders, scrunching his face up at them. A few minutes later, Baizhu and Dottore walk into your room with medicine in their hands and a surgical mask for you to wear while you’re sick.

Thoma enters the room a few minutes later with a tray of food in his hands, setting the tray down in front of you after you sit up on the bed. The aroma of the soup made your stomach rumble with hunger. You place a cloth napkin over your lap while Diluc holds your hair back, adjusting it so your hair wouldn’t fall into your soup while you eat. 

“You should take your medicine after eating because the medicine might make your stomach feel queasy when you take it on an empty stomach,” says Thoma. 

You nod. “You’re right, Thoma. Especially when it’s a liquid medicine for a cold,” you murmur, holding the medicine bottle up to your face and reading the words. “Are these the type to be taken during the day, or is it the one that will knock me out cold?” You ask, looking up at Baizhu and Dottore.

“Since when are there two different kinds of cold medicines?” Scaramouche asks, walking over to where you’re sitting and taking the bottle from your hands. 

“One type of cold medicine is taken during the day, the other is for the night because it should help you sleep through the night without waking up to a coughing fit,” replies Ayato.

“Which is what happened to me last night,” you sigh, eating the porridge that Thoma cooked for you. “I feel like I got run over by a sumpter beast,” you grumble.

“You look like you got run over by one too, but that doesn’t take away from your beauty, snookums!” Childe says, trotting over to you with a smile on his face.

Dainsleif rolls his eyes. “What a charmer. Is this how you land the first date with [Y/N]?” Dainsleif asks Childe, the corner of his lips quirking up into a smirk.

Childe stops in his tracks, turns around, and stares at Dainsleif with his mouth agape. You’re too busy eating your food to notice the tension growing between Childe and Dainsleif. You suddenly drop the spoon in the bowl and reach for the cloth napkin on your lap and sneeze into it.

“How heavy is the dose of medicine? I need it to knock me out cold,” you sniffled.

Albedo grabs the medicine bottle from Scaramouche’s hand and looks at the label. The bottle didn’t have a specific label on how strong the medicine was, but what it did have were instructions on how much a certain age group should take. 

Albedo holds the bottle out in front of you and shows the instruction to you. “It didn’t specify how strong the medicine is going to be for your sickness, but it does have dosage on how much you should take. Since you’re an adult, it’s best to take the highest dosage every five hours,” Albedo says, pointing at the top of the mini chart.

Your face pinches up, and you reluctantly grab the bottle from his hands. “Alright, I will take these after I’m done eating,” you grumble before continuing to eat your breakfast (or is it lunch?).

After finishing your bowl of soup, you take the tiny plastic cup off the bottle and place it on the food tray in front of you. You attempt to twist the cap open, only to fail. You stare at the bottle before squeezing the sides of the lid and turning it. You let out a frustrated huff of breath and put the bottle on the food tray, glaring at it. Either you’re weak from your sickness, or you’re dumb.

“What’s the matter?” Kazuha asks.

You grab the bottle and try to open the lid, failing once again. You let out an annoyed groan and nearly slam it on the food tray.

“I can’t open it,” you grumble, looking over at the twenty-five men with a deep frown on your face. “It’s a new bottle too! I swear, I followed the instructions, and I still can’t open the dang bottle,” you groused. 

Without saying a word, Xiao walks over to you, takes the bottle from your hand, and inspects it for a moment before twisting the cap open with ease. He hands you the lid and bottle, staring at you.

“You were supposed to squeeze the side of the bottle,” Xiao says.

You stare at Xiao in shock and grab the bottle and lid from his hands. “I did do that! It also said to press down on the lid, pinch the sides, and twist the cap,” you explain.

Xiao gives you an odd look. “You don’t need to press down on the lid. You just squeeze the side of the lid and twist it open,” replies Xiao. 

Xiao takes the bottle from your hand, closes the bottle with the lid, and demonstrates how he opened the bottle. You stare at Xiao’s hands, watching him twist the bottle open with ease. You try to do the same, only to fail.

“That bottle has favoritism,” you accuse, pushing the bottle away from you with a glare. 

A few seconds after pushing the bottle away from you, you grab the bottle, mimic what Xiao did, and successfully open the bottle. You let out a slow sigh, shaking your head. You pour the liquid medicine into the small measuring bottle for the appropriate measurement. After getting the perfect measurement of the liquid medicine, you close the bottle and down the liquid medication. The taste of the medication was something you had never tasted before. It’s disgusting, but you know that if you want to get well soon, you need to take it. 

You force yourself to swallow the medication and reach for the water pitcher and the glass cup, pouring water into the cup and chugging the water. Once you have emptied the glass cup, you put the pitcher and cup down on your nightstand; violent shivers rack your body.

Your face pinches up with disgust. “That tastes disgusting,” you shiver, shaking your head.

Cyno shrugs and chuckles. “Hey, it’s medicine. Medicine isn’t supposed to taste appetizing like candy,” says Cyno.

Dottore and Baizhu take the liquid medicine from your hands while Thoma takes the food tray and napkin off your lap. You want to lay down on your bed, but you think you should let your food and medication settle down in your stomach before lying down. Or else there’s a possible chance that the food and medicine will come back up.

“Are you not going to go back to sleep?” Pantalone asks.

You shake your head. “Not yet. I’m letting everything settle down in my stomach first before going back to sleep. Other than that, have any of you eaten anything?” You ask.

“We ate already. We assumed you were going to come downstairs for breakfast, but you never came down,” replies Capitano.

You give Capitano a weak smile and run your fingers through your hair. “I was so tired that I could barely get out of bed. I didn’t even notice that I slept in until I woke up to the sound of knocking at my door,” you said.

“When you’re feeling healthy again, what do you think about joining me in having lunch or dinner at the Liuli Pavilion?” Zhongli asks, sitting down beside you and caressing your face in his hands.

Your eyes light up, and you nod eagerly. “Ooh! I would love to, Zhongli! I just hope I heal soon because dining at Liuli Pavilion sounds amazing right now, even though I just ate,” you said.

Zhongli smiles and strokes the apples of your cheeks with the pad of his thumb. Zhongli looks at the others from the corners of his eyes, a faint smirk appearing on his face. The men shoot a glare in Zhongli’s direction after seeing a smug smile on the former archon’s face. 

Pierro clears his throat. “I heard that Liuli Pavilion serves a lot of food for their customers. If it’s just you and Zhongli going alone, would you two be able to finish all of that food? I think everyone should be able to tag along as well,” Pierro says gruffly. 

You blink at Pierro and look at Zhongli, who seems displeased. You shrug and rub the back of your neck awkwardly. You have gone to Liuli Pavilion before, but it was never alone with Zhongli or anyone else that lives in the abode. You think they only bring out a certain amount of food if you ordered certain food on the menu.

“I mean, Zhongli did invite me. I think it should be up to him to make that decision,” you murmur, looking at Zhongli through your lashes.

Zhongli stares at you, then look over at the men, who are giving him puppy dog eyes and mischievous smiles. Zhongli rolls his eyes and sighs through his nose, rubbing his temples. If Zhongli declines, it will make him look bad. If he agrees, then he wouldn’t get to have some alone time with you away from the others. It’s a lose-lose situation for the former archon either way.

“If the others are free and have nothing on their schedule, then they can join us, dearest. If they’re unable to join us, then it’ll be just you and me at Liuli Pavilion,” Zhongli answers, squeezing your hand gently. 

You turn to look at the men. “Zhongli says it's up to all of you whether you guys want to join Zhongli and me or not,” you said.

“We’ll clear our schedule when the day comes,” Pierro states.

The men behind Pierro nod their heads in agreement. While you give them small smiles and prepare to take another nap, Zhongli is giving the men a not-so-subtle glare. Some of the men collectively smile at Zhongli innocently, while others give Zhongli a smug grin at Zhongli’s irritation at not being able to spend time alone with you.

After you have found a comfortable position to lie down and sleep, Zhongli presses a gentle kiss on your forehead. You smile up at Zhongli and caress his face in your hand. Zhongli places his hand over yours and closes his eyes with contentment. Feeling a sneeze coming up, you pull your hand from Zhongli’s face and sneeze into your elbow twice. 

“Alright, little one, you need to go to sleep now. If you don’t get enough sleep, your body won’t be able to fight off the illness,” Dottore says, smiling at you at the entrance of your room.

You feel Zhongli press one last kiss on your hot forehead before getting off your bed and walking over to your bedroom door. The others soon follow behind Zhongli: they all give you forehead kisses before leaving your bedroom to let you sleep in peace. 

A few weeks later, it was Venti’s turn to attempt to flirt with you. The anemo archon has a stack of ballads prepared just for this very special day. He is excited to perform for you and impress you with the poems that he has created. You have always been the source of his inspiration, and he cannot wait to showcase something special with you.

You’re laying on a hammock outside of the estate under the trees. The wind rocks the hammock back and forth while you look at the early afternoon sky through the orange leaves. You stretch and let out a groan, feeling a satisfying pop. You hear a soft melody flow in the wind, making you prop yourself up on your arms and search for where the melody is coming from.

You see Venti strolling up to your hammock while gently strumming his lyre. Venti smiles at you and stops next to your hammock. You sit up and hug the pillow against your chest, looking at the bard curiously.

“Care to listen to a few ballads of mine? Just to let you know, you’re the source of my inspiration,” Venti says, winking at you.

You feel your face heat up. “I would love to listen to your ballads, Venti!” You chirp.

You scoot over to the left and pat the empty spot next to you on the hammock. Venti gracefully lifts himself onto the hammock, sitting beside you. Venti clears his throat and adjusts his lyre in his hands. Venti begins strumming the lyre, the soft melody filling the quiet air between you two. Venti starts humming and swaying to the song. He looks up at you and gives you the sweetest smile.

Before Venti could sing, the strings of the lyre snapped. Venti gasps in horror and looks at the lyre, freaking out about how he is going to fix the lyre before the other men start to butt into your and his quiet space. You and Venti hear a slow clap coming from a distance, looking up to see the men walking toward you and Venti.

“What a performance of a lifetime, Barbatos,” Kaeya chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest.

Venti gives the twenty-four men a fake smile before turning to you with a fake laugh, the apples of his cheeks almost as red as Diluc’s hair.

You look at Venti and his lyre worriedly. “It’s okay if you’re not able to perform for me, Venti. You can perform for me any time!” You reach for Venti’s hand and squeeze it gently. 

Venti looks defeated; if he had dog ears, they would be flat on his head while giving you puppy dog eyes. You give Venti a sympathetic smile and pull him into a hug, catching him and the others off guard.

“When you get the strings fixed, come to my room, and you can play all of the ballads you like,” you murmur into his ears, tucking his hair behind his ear. “I’ll be expecting your visitation, Barbatos,” you stroke his hair.

Venti audibly gulps, pulling away from your hug with a red face. A big smile breaks out on Venti’s face, and he nods his head eagerly, planting a big kiss on your cheeks before scrambling out of the hammock to get the lyre fixed as soon as possible. Sure, he can fix it by snapping his fingers, but the look on the other men’s faces is scary, and he needs to disappear for a few hours.

“So much for ruining the moment between [Y/N] and Venti,” Itto mutters, crossing his arms over his chest with a frustrated sigh.

Childe nods. “Yeah, no kidding. Instead of ruining their moment together, we pushed them together. And now Venti will be showing up to [Y/N]’s bedroom after he gets his lyre fixed,” Childe grumbles, kicking the dirt beneath his foot like an angry toddler. 

“It would be a shame if we walk into [Y/N]’s room before the performance starts,” Aether shrugs his shoulders. 

If you think the men walking in on your and Venti’s supposed quiet moment, imagine the men insisting on keeping you company while you’re in the hot springs. Butt naked. You dip your hair into the hot water and wring the water out, leaning against the walls of the hot spring with a sigh, feeling your muscles relax.

The sound of water running in the hot springs is interrupted by the sound of chatter approaching the bathhouse in the abode. Your eyes shoot open, and you sink into the water until the water reaches your chin, your arms over your chest to preserve your modesty. The doors to the bathhouse open, and the men walk into the hotspring. All are shirtless, wearing towels around their waist. The towels hung low at their hips; the towels looked like they could slip off at any moment. 

“Oh, [Y/N]! What a pleasant surprise to see you here at the bathhouse!” Pantalone says casually, smiling at you as he stops in front of the hot spring you’re currently sitting in.

You couldn’t tell if your face was feeling hot because of the temperature in the bathhouse or if it was because of the twenty-five shirtless (almost naked men) in front of you. You audibly gulp and give them a wary smile, continuing to keep most of your body submerged in the waters. 

You laugh awkwardly. “I didn’t think all of you would be coming to the bathhouse at the same time that I do,” you say, keeping your arms pressed against your chest.

“Oh? Are we not allowed to visit the bathhouse while you’re here?” Capitano asks, propping his hands on his hips.

Your eyes trail over Capitano’s bare chest. His chest was littered with scars, fresh and old scars. His pecks are definitely bigger than Al Haitham and Itto’s pecks. But they don’t compare to Pierro’s pecks. Your face gradually becomes hotter, making you sink further into the water. You look away from them after seeing knowing smirks on their faces. 

“No, no! You can visit the bathhouse whenever! But uh, there are empty hot springs over there,” you point over to the hot spring three feet away from where yours is located.

Kaveh huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “What if we want to keep you company in the same hot spring?” Kaveh asks, raising his eyebrows at you with an overly exaggerated frown.

“Then you can keep me company from a distance! Just not in the same hot spring as me,” you reply as you point over at the hot spring three feet away from you. 

There’s no way in hell you’re going to let these men sit in the same hot springs as you. All of you are naked, and you don’t want people to see you naked. Heck, you never looked at yourself naked in the mirror before! These men have great physiques, and you have seen them shirtless plenty of times before, but have you seen them naked before? That is something you won’t be talking about right now.

“Alright, but that won’t stop us from coming over to talk to you,” Tighnari says, patting your head as he walks to the nearest hot spring.

You shut your eyes and cover your face with your hands when you hear towels dropping to the ground and splashes of water coming from the hot spring near yours. You assume that everyone has gotten into the hot spring a few feet from yours and uncover your eyes. You look around for your towel and nearly cry when you realize that your towel is hanging on the wall five feet from where you’re at. You sink into the water, feeling shame and embarrassment for leaving your towel there because you’re unaware that the men are going to join you at the bathhouse. You continue to press yourself against the wall of the hot spring, praying that no one will approach the hot spring you’re sitting in. You’re not in the mood to talk to anyone because everyone is naked, and you don’t want to see anyone’s bare asses (that’s a lie, you do, but let’s pretend that you don’t), nor do you want them to see your bare ass.

“Are you okay, [Y/N]?” You hear Gorou call out to you.

You turn your head and see Gorou looking at you curiously, his head peeking from the edge of the hot spring. You give Gorou a fake smile and nod. You might as well pretend that you’re okay, or else they’ll approach you while naked. If you continue to stay, who knows what’s going to happen?

You clear your throat. “I’m fine, Gorou! I, uh, I’m trying to relax in the hot spring,” you say, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“You know, going to the hot spring alone isn’t fun. It’s too quiet, and it feels a little bit lonely, don’t you think?” Heizou asks, resting his arms on the edge of the hot spring.

You nod. “That is true, but sometimes, it’s nice to have some alone time for yourself. It’s a good way to clear your mind and relax,” you say.

You push yourself away from the wall of the hot spring before fully submerging in the water. You emerge from the water and push your hair out of your face, wiping the water from your face while keeping most of your body hidden in the water.

“You look lonely over there. Doesn’t [Y/N] look lonely over there, Thoma?” Ayato asks, peeking over at you from where he’s sitting before glancing at the blond man beside him.

Thoma peeks at you and nods. “Yes, they look quite lonely over there, my Lord,” Thoma agrees.

You narrow your eyes at the men and slowly sink into the water up to your chin. “What do you guys have in mind?” You drawled out. 

“Oh, nothing you need to worry about! We’re just commenting on how lonely it must be over there. If you do feel lonely, you can always come over here and join us all, or let us keep you company over there,” Baizhu says, leaning back in the hot spring.

“I’m actually going to leave the bathhouse very soon,” you reply, internally panicking about how you’re going to leave the bathhouse without the others seeing you butt-ass naked. 

With your towel hanging far from the springs, there’s no way the others wouldn’t see your bare ass when you hop out of the hot spring and run to the towel. Plus, running isn’t permitted in the bathhouse because that is a hazard waiting to happen. You’re not going to risk slipping and cracking your skull open in the bathhouse in front of everyone with your bits on full display.

“Oh? You’re leaving so soon,” Albedo says, frowning while slicking his hair back.

You laugh nervously. “I have been here for a while. My fingers are starting to get pruney,” you said, holding up your hand to show the men your wrinkly fingertips. 

“You can still hang out with us while wearing a towel. We’ll make sure that everyone behaves,” Kazuha says, turning to look at the men with a look.

You point at the towel on the wall. “I would get my towel, but the towel is far, and I don’t want to leave the hot spring to grab the towel,” you said, puckering your lips.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I got this,” Scaramouche says.

Scaramouche uses his anemo vision, ignoring the look the other anemo users shot in his direction. Despite Scaramouche possessing both an anemo and electro vision, he uses his anemo vision the most and his electro vision to zap those around him. You grab your towel that was hovering in the air and gesture for the men to turn around or shield their eyes. The men turn around and cover their eyes.

You get out of the hot spring and wrap the towel around your body. Once you have tightened the towel around your body, you let the men know you’re covered. The men uncover their eyes and motion for you to walk to where they’re sitting. While walking over to the hot spring where they’re relaxing, you wring the water out of your hair and grab an extra towel on the towel rack and wrap your hair in the towel, letting it sit on your head.

“Are you free three days from now?” Al Haitham asks, watching you dip your legs into the hot spring.

You pause and contemplate. Three days from now? What day will that be?

“I think so? I don’t think I have anything planned that day other than going to school….” You murmur, tightening your grip on the towel around your body. “Why?” You ask, looking at Al Haitham quizzically. 

“He’s just wondering if you’re free on a Tuesday, that’s all,” Cyno interjects, shooting Al Haitham a not-so-subtle glare.

Al Haitham glares back at Cyno and rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his bare chest. You look away after finding yourself staring at Al Haitham’s chest. You clear your throat shyly and shrug your shoulders.

“Well, I don’t think I have anything planned that day. I should be free,” you said, trying to distract yourself from the naked men in front of you.

Diluc nods. “Good, then that settles then,” Diluc states.

“Settles what?” You ask.

“You’ll know when the time comes. For now, we can’t tell you what it is,” Dainsleif says, slicking his hair back.

You scrunch your face at Dainsleif’s response and the men’s vagueness. “Aw! You guys are no fun for not telling me what you guys have in store,” you huff.

Pantalone chuckles and squeezes your calf under the water. “You’ll see when the time comes, sweetheart,” Pantalone says.

Fast forward to a few days later, you’re out in Mondstadt buying flowers to plant in the abode. Recently, you have decided that you wanted the abode to have a garden. To be more specific, you wanted the other floating island (next to where the estates are located) to be full of flowers from all over Teyvat. It would be nice to sit in a field full of flowers from different regions, and why not start doing it now?

Plus, the men gave you this idea earlier in the morning and sent you out into the world to gather some seeds to plant these flowers in the abode. Now, what they didn’t tell you is that you can buy these seeds from Tubby. After purchasing the seeds of the flowers you’re looking for, you bid Flora goodbye before turning to leave the city. The next city you’re going to stop by is Liyue. When you’re about to leave the city of Mondstadt, Diluc, and Kaeya walk up to you.

“Oh, Diluc and Kaeya! What are you two doing here?” You ask, placing the small packet of flower seeds into your bag. 

“We’re here to keep you company, if you don’t mind,” Kaeya says, smiling at you.

Your eyes light up. “Of course, I don’t mind! I’m about to leave for Liyue to buy flower seeds! I’m thinking glaze lilies, silk flowers, and violetgrass,” you said, pulling your small notepad out from your bag.

“Instead of silk flowers, why not go for Qingxin instead?” Diluc asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

You purse your lips and sigh. “You know, I would do that, but I already placed my order for glaze lilies, silk flowers, and violetgrass,” you sulk.

Kaeya gives you a sympathetic smile before pulling you into his arms, stroking your hair, and pressing his lips on the top of your head. Diluc crosses his arms over his chest, looking unamused after seeing the display of affection between you and Kaeya. Kaeya smirks, and Diluc turns and walks off with you in his arms. Diluc rolls his eyes and follows the two of you, pulling you out of Kaeya’s arms. 

While you, Diluc, and Kaeya are in Liyue, the men are scrambling around the abode, making sure things are going well and according to plan. So far, everything has been going smoothly. The flowers are arriving on time, and so are the decorations. Diluc and Kaeya are instructed to return to the estate while you’re in Sumeru, picking up the last order you have placed for Sumeru roses and Padisarahs. Their main goal is to keep you distracted and out of the abode until you have picked up every last order of the flower seeds from the four nations. 

“You don’t think [Y/N] is going to return to the abode so soon, do you?” Venti asks Dainsleif nervously.

Dainsleif shakes his head. “I don’t think they are. If they were to return to the abode earlier than expected, then everything should be fine,” Dainsleif says.

“Exactly! Plus, things have been sailing smoothly, and arriving earlier than expected. It’s fine because we don’t know when [Y/N] will return to the abode with the flower seeds they have ordered from four different nations,” Aether says, fixing his shirt and smoothing out the creases.

“Was it necessary to have [Y/N] run around Teyvat to buy flower seeds when they can buy them from Tubby?” Heizou asks, pointing at the teapot spirit. 

Cyno walks into the estate, holding a vase of Sumeru roses. “For today, yes. It’s necessary,” Cyno replies.

“What if they’re allergic to some of the flowers that are being brought into the estate?” Itto asks, poking the Sumeru rose when Cyno walks past him.

Al Haitham rolls his eyes and fixes the sleeve of his blazer. “They’re not from this world, Itto. I don’t think they would want to have a large garden if they were allergic to the flowers we’re bringing into the abode,” Al Haitham mutters.

“Nor would we send them out into Teyvat with Diluc and Kaeya to buy flower seeds,” Kaveh interjects, giving Itto a look. 

Back on Teyvat, you, Diluc, and Kaeya step into Sumeru. You smell the fresh air and tuck the flower seeds into your bag. Sumeru is your last destination, and you can’t wait to go back to the abode and start planning how you want the garden to be arranged. You weren’t sure if you wanted to have a large dome for the separate island or let the flowers be fully exposed to the abode’s sunlight.

You walk to the flower shop in Sumeru with Diluc and Kaeya by your side, checking off the items on your list. You made sure to choose around two to three flowers from each nation. You’re mainly choosing the flowers the men have recommended for you to get. That includes an amakumo fruit, and you’re not entirely sure why they wanted you to pick the amakumo fruit, but you did, and that is probably the last time you visit Seirai island. Needless to say, you didn’t like the atmosphere of the island, nor did you like the sound of thunder booming in the sky while you were searching for the fruit. 

While you’re waiting for the merchant to come out from behind the shop with your order, Diluc and Kaeya informed you that they have businesses to tend to and would meet you back at the abode. You watch the two men leave before looking at the list in your hand.

“I don’t think I’ll have enough seeds to fill the floating island with flowers,” you grumble, pulling the small packets of flower seeds. “Five packets for each flower is not going to cover the entire island,” you deadpan.

“[Y/N]? I have your order here! Five packets of Sumeru Rose seeds and Padisarahs, am I correct?” The merchant asks, emerging from behind the curtains and holding up your order.

He walks toward you with a clipboard in his other hand. You give the merchant a nod, now realizing that the number of packets you have isn’t enough. The merchant has you sign the paperwork to confirm that you stopped by the flower shop and picked up the order Tighnari has placed under your name.

After signing the paper, the merchant hands your order before giving you a small note on how to take care of the flowers. You put the packet of Sumeru rose and Padisarah seeds into your bag before walking out of the shop, reading over the note the merchant wrote. To be honest, you don’t think the instruction was necessary because Tighnari has informed you that he will be showing you how to care for the flowers. 

“Back to the abode I go,” you said.

The abode is located in the small corner of Sumeru City, tucked away from the public eye. Only you and the men know where the teapot is placed. You yawn and stretch your arms. You stand in front of the teapot and let it whisk you home. Once you have entered the teapot, you walk to the estate and stop in your tracks almost immediately when you notice the entrance to the main estate is wide open.

“Did someone forget to close the door?” You mutter.

You adjust the straps of your bag on your shoulder and jog to the entrance. When you enter the estate and close the door behind you, you notice the interior of the estate is very pink and red. Flowers are lined up against the walls of the estate; balloons are tied to the railing, and party streamers are hung from the ceiling. 

“What is the occasion?” You ask, turning to the formally dressed men in front of you. “Also,” you pull the packets of flower seeds from your bag, “these are not going to cover the entire area of the floating island next door,” you said.

“[Y/N], what’s important right now? The flower seeds, or us attempting to ask you to go out with us?” Thoma asks, quirking an eyebrow at you.

You stare at Thoma blankly and at the other men. Not only are they dressed nicely, but each man is holding flowers from their respective region. Some flowers you have never seen before, but they’re beautiful. Speaking of them dressing nicely, how come they look nice and you look like you’re going on a walk? 

“Are you guys trying to ask me to be your significant other, or are you guys trying to ask me to be your Valentine?” You ask, taking your bag off and setting it down on the table near the entrance.

“Uh, both?” Baizhu says.

“What’s Valentine’s Day?” Scaramouche mutters, looking at Xiao quizzically. 

Xiao shrugs his shoulders in response. How in the world is he supposed to know what Valentine’s Day is?

Childe steps to the front and pulls you toward him, your chest pressing against his chest. Childe caresses your face in his hands and smiles at you.

“Do you know how hard it is to flirt with you?” Childe asks.

You blink at him. “What do you mean?”

“You’re intelligent, but you can be a little bit dense. I think the better term for it would be oblivious,” Albedo interjects, the corners of his lips curving up.

You hold your hand up in defense. “Listen, I have never had anyone flirt with me before. Whether in this world or my world, I never flirted with anyone, nor have they flirted with me. Even if they flirt with me, I wouldn’t know how to respond because, well, I….” you trail off.

Do you have to explain to the men that you have no game? You never had a boyfriend, you never flirted with anyone, no one has ever flirted with you, and you’ve never been out on a date before, so how in the world are you supposed to be able to notice it?

“Oh, trust me, many of us have tried to flirt with you. It would either go over your head, or one of us would ruin each other’s chances of asking you out,” Ayato chuckles.

“And some of us,” Tighnari looks over at Childe, “has made it blatantly obvious too.”

Dottore pushes Childe away from you, grabbing your hand and planting a kiss on your knuckles. “What do you say, [Y/N]? Will you be my Valentine?” Dottore asks, gazing at you through his mask.

“Your Valentine?! I’m sure [Y/N] would much rather be my Valentine and not yours,” Xiao huffs, glaring at the icy-blue-haired Harbinger. 

You puckered your lips, your eyebrows narrow, and you gestured to them. “I have to pick between all of you?” You ask.

“That is correct. Unless you have another thing in mind?” Zhongli raises his eyebrows at you.

“What if…. I reject all of you?” You ask jokingly.

Gorou looks at you nervously. “Please don’t. I don’t think my heart will be able to handle it,” Gorou whispers, clutching his chest.

“Well, if I can’t choose all of you, then I might as well reject all of you,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest.

Kazuha raises his eyebrows at you, and a small smirk appears. “You want all of us?” Kazuha asks.

You press your lips into a thin line and nod. “That’s correct. I mean, we all live in the abode together. I either take all of you for myself or none of you,” You said, shrugging your shoulders. “I know what I want, but do you know what you want?” You ask.

“Yes, we know what we want, and it’s certainly not each other,” Capitano says, earning a snort from you.

Pantalone pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “Is this going to be another failed attempt of asking [Y/N] to be ours?” Pantalone murmurs to Pierro.

“Archons, I hope not,” Pierro sighs.

You shrug and look around the estate. “It won’t be a failed attempt if I get to choose all of you,” you said nonchalantly.

Heizou clasps his hands. “How about this: you will be our Valentine, and we’ll be your Valentine. None of us,” Heizou gestures to him and the other men around him, “will be a couple of any sort with each other. We date you, and you date us. We have no interest in each other. We’re only interested in you.”

You squint your eyes. “Okay, that doesn’t sound bad. But what about the jealousy? I know some of you can get jealous and possessive,” you said, giving certain men in the room a side-eye.

Dainsleif sighs. “We’ll get used to sharing you, eventually,” Dainsleif says.

“So? Will you be our Valentine? More importantly: will you be ours?” Thoma asks nervously.

“Did you hear a no?” You smile at them.

“We didn’t hear a yes,” Childe scrunches his nose at you.

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yes, I’ll be all of your Valentines. And yes, I gladly accept being your partner,” you said.

Did that make sense? You scratch your head. 

“Oh, thank archons, this isn’t one of the many failed attempts,” Aether sighs in relief, tackling you into a hug.

Tighnari bats at Aether. “Hey, move it. I want to give [Y/N] a hug, too,” Tighnari’s ears twitch with irritation. 

Cyno pushes Tighnari to the side. “Then get in the back of the line and don’t cut,” Cyno retorts.

Al Haitham snorts. “How juvenile,” he mutters, gazing at Tighnari and Cyno with an amused look on his face. 

Note: I'm going to try to update my navigation post soon because I don't like how it looks. I think a makeover is what it needs, but I never got around to it. The only thing I'm debating on is to make a new navigation post or change the one I have currently pinned to my blog 🤔 Anyway, next week's fic is a request. I have been planning this one request for a few weeks now and I hope it turns out how I want it to. Anyway, for those who want to be on my new taglist, here is the link to the taglist [Genshinluvr Updated Taglist Form]! Please make sure that you allow people to mention you/tag you in posts, or else I won't be able to tag you in any future fanfics! And as usual, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Taglist for my Isekai'd!Reader one-shot series and my overall taglist: @alhaitham-scribe, @xyji, @kazuhasmuse, @chirikoheina, @yoru-trash, @kaoyamamegami, @kwelibeeery, @yumakj, @deartoru, @luminarymoonlight, @toobytub, @ins4nebish, @bokuto-kinnie, @honeybedo, @exhaustedcommunist, @jadedist, @mompt2, @living-my-best-life5, @chalksdreams, @rinswriting, @thelost-in-time, @mxn14, @ventisweetheart, @unwantedsleep, @kattythesimp, @hispasian-otaku, @Orah-s, @juuuuuj101010, @nxns3nse, @sickly-falling, @alteeeeyang, @wind1y, @wh0-ta0, @samarill, @testsubject0012, @irisxiel, @HistoryNerd™️, @kazuhaprnt, @lunarapple, @urlocalhothuman, @emilymikado, @vinnie-w, @n8mareee, @bajifairyy, @al-haithamsforeveryone, @heyimkay, @smolbeaniezz, @milkpeanuts476, @eliciana, @jellyslimesoffical, @blesstosuisen, @goldeneclipsedragon, @jjvr4yxc, @sovermike-21-blog, @vox34, @wynncrites, @peter-the-pan (If your name has been crossed out, it means that your account did not show up (or multiple accounts came up under the username you have entered) when I try to tag your account. Please make sure to allow people to mention you and tag you in posts and make sure the spelling, symbols, and numbers are correct. I'm going to start removing usernames that are crossed out)

Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^

[httpiastri]

okay so i started writing on a boyfriend!paul blurb for after the race today, but then i deleted it and wrote this instead: a short snippet of a future chapter of the "the way i loved you" fic 😋 pretty short but it's all i can produce rn lol. will likely have some changes when i post the actual chapter. aiming to post the first things from the fic soon !!! hope u enjoy 😚

series masterlist

paul is beaming when you see him stroll back to the paddock after his media duties. his cap is perched on top of his head – the right cap, finally – and his fingers are still tightly wrapped around the neck of his champagne bottle. when he notices you leaning against the doorframe leading into the f2 hospitality, his smile grows even bigger.

you meet him halfway, arms wrapping around his shoulders easily, just like they have so many times before. one of his arms drapes around your waist and he holds you close, a hum vibrating from his chest. "congrats, paul," you tell him. "that was amazing. you were amazing."

"thank you," he says before pausing. then, he lets out a chuckle. "to be honest, i wasn't sure if you would care."

you frown at him when you pull slightly away from him, just enough to look into his eyes. is that what he really thought? that you wouldn't care about his driving? "oh, please. you still mean a lot to me, okay?" your hand moves down to his upper arm, giving it a soft squeeze. "i still consider you to be one of my closest friends."

friends. the word stings like a knife in his heart. it's been months since you broke up, and yet, it still feels like a raw wound.

paul forces a smile. he understands that despite how painful it is, there's something good in it. there's still a place for him in your heart, even if he's forced to share it with someone else.

he pulls you in again, and the hug is even tighter now than before. it's a comforting feeling; you're both at peace, with a good weekend behind you, in the arms of someone so close to you. after everything you've gone through together, but especially everything he has gone through these last few months with the mercedes academy and so on, you're finally through to the other side. "it all worked out in the end, huh?" you ask after a few moments of silence.

"i guess it did." you part from each other to leave that oh-so-familiar gap between you yet again. "will you be celebrating with us tonight? i think pepe had something planned. you know how he is."

you snort. "yeah, i do know. maybe i will." you shift uncomfortably, crossing your arms over your chest as your eyes dart to the ground. "but, um... i'll have to check with..."

you don't even say his name – you don't have to. ollie didn't just have a bad race today; the entire weekend has been so far from everyone's expectations. and if you know him correctly, he will not be in the mood for celebrations tonight.

paul just nods slowly, pressing his lips into a thin line. "right."

the silence that follows is so awkward you can't help but chew on your bottom lip, a tiny sigh escaping through your mouth. he must be hating this, you think – today is supposed to be only a good day for him, he shouldn't have his ex's new relationship pushed up in his face.

"well, i have a debrief to get to," you make up, flashing him a quick smile. "congrats again, paul."

"thank you." he gives you another nod, before turning away and making his way towards the paddock. "pepe will text you!"

and just like that, he's off, and your mind wanders to the thought of actually going out to celebrate. ollie will definitely not join you, though you're not sure why you don't want to go without him. is it because you'd rather stay and comfort him?

or is it because you're scared of what you'll do, or feel, when you're alone with paul for the first time since you broke up?

[whoify]

photopea gif tutorial!

i recently started learning the craft of gifmaking with the free software photopea. when i first started, i had to piece together several different tutorials as well as extrapolate from some photoshop tutorials because-- no one uses photopea.

but they should! it's free! it can run in your browser! it can do most everything photoshop can do and you don't have to deal with adobe or torrenting. so i'm making a tutorial of my photopea gifmaking process because that's what i needed a couple months ago, and i hope it can be of use to some others. let's go!

1: PREPARING

source the scene you want to gif. it's best to download your video when you can, but screen recording can work in a pinch. this is the video downloader software i use.

once the source video is downloaded, i like to pick out the specific moments i'm going to gif and save them as their own files-- this makes future steps easier. an individual gif shouldn't be more than 4ish seconds, so limit your selections to about that. name your files in a way that makes sense to you:

2: CONVERTING TO .JPG

i like to convert my video clips to .jpg format. it is possible to load video clips directly into photopea, but unless it is a very short <30fps clip, it is likely to freeze or crash in my experience. i use this website as it downloads a higher framerate (~25fps) than others i've used.

convert your video files and download the .zip folder containing your frames. make sure to unzip them and name them something helpful if you need to.

3: OPENING YOUR FRAMES IN PHOTOPEA

photopea looks like this when you open it:

select "open from computer" and select only the first frame of your first gif:

your environment should look like this (ignore the other projects i have open, you should just have 0001.psd or similar):

go to file> open and place, and select ALL of the rest of the frames from your first clip:

they'll load in one by one, and your environment should look like this:

notice how all the frames have a little square in the corner? that means they are smart objects, and we need them to not be for our purposes. select all of your frames, right click, and choose rasterize:

in order to make the series of jpgs move as a gif upon download, select all of your frames and go to layer> animation> make frames:

all your layer names should now start with _a_. you can really do this at any point in the process so it's not a big deal if you forget at the beginning.

finally, you want to limit the frames in individual gifs to around 50 or less. if you find you have more, delete some frames off of the beginning or end by right clicking and selecting delete.

4: CROPPING AND RESIZING

select the crop tool on the left hand panel:

at the top bar, select fixed size:

gifs on tumblr are limited to 540px wide for single column gifs, 268px for two columns, and 178px for three columns. the height is up to you; i like to use 350px height with the 540px width.

enter your values into the W and H fields and do not press enter yet. drag the cropped area to where you want it to be-- try to line up the top and bottom edges so as not to lose too much of your image. once you're satisfied with the selection, press enter. your gif is now cropped and resized to tumblr standards.

5: SHARPENING

(if you are working with low-qual video, check out this tutorial by @hellboys before sharpening. basically filter> filter gallery > grain, select soft and play with the settings. then proceed!)

still making sure all of your layers are selected, navigate to filter> sharpen > smart sharpen:

you should see this dialog box:

these are the settings i like to use, but you can play around to see what you like. here's the before and after of my sharpening settings:

the difference will be more noticeable once we complete the next step-- brightening and coloring.

6: BRIGHTENING & COLORING

navigate to layer > new adjustment layer:

at any time, you can edit your adjustment layers by clicking this button in the right hand panel:

for each edit you make to your gif, you will add a new adjustment layer. always make sure they're at the top of your layer stack. i like to start with adjusting the brightness and exposure, which are both pretty straightforward.

additionally ,you can select a curves adjustment layer, choose the RGB channel, and drag the curve just slightly upwards to further brighten your gif, like so:

here's a before and after:

now for coloring-- i mostly use the saturation/vibrance, curves, color balance, and selective color adjustment layers. just play around with all of these until you find a style you like. i like my gifs to look really bright and colorful, so i push the saturation and try to draw out warmer tones in the color balance:

7: CAPTIONS

the font i like to use for captions is arial bold italic. you can download it (or any font of your choosing) from pretty much any free font website. if you choose to download a font not in photopea, go to file> open and select your font; it will now show up in the list of fonts.

navigate to the text button in the left hand panel:

and type in the captions for your gif. i make the font size 20 for 540px gifs.

next, while only your text layer is selected, navigate to layer> layer style > blending options:

click on drop shadow, and play around with the settings until you get something you like. here's mine:

next, click on stroke and do the same thing:

when you're done, make sure your text is your top-most layer.

8: EXPORTING

you're done! head to file> export as> GIF. you'll be prompted with a dialog that looks like this, with your gif playing (you can also do these steps without saving if you want a preview of your gif during editing):

the only thing you should need to adjust is speed. this is the main difference between photopea and photoshop. the only way to specifically adjust the delay in photopea is to manually enter "_05" (or whatever amount of delay) at the end of every layer name. if you're like me you'll agree that is simply too much and settle for the speed slider.

i don't really know what logic governs the speed slider. it doesn't seem to be consistent across gifs, so play with it until it looks right. i've had it on 200% lately which seems insane but looks visually normal.

once the speed is adjusted, hit save and you're done! here's a final before and after of all the work:

BONUS: SAVING .PSD PRESETS

did you think manually creating and editing all those adjustment layers was a lot of work? here's how to streamline it for next time.

at the very bottom of your screen, below your layers, select the icon that looks like a folder (third from the right).

it will create another layer called folder 1. drag your adjustment layers into this folder, making sure they stay in the same order. your layers should look like this when you're done:

ONLY ONCE YOU HAVE SAVED YOUR GIF, delete all other layers that are not in the folder. then select file> save as PSD. save it somewhere convenient.

next time you're making gifs, after you've cropped and sharpened your frames, select file > open and choose your .psd file. it will open as another project. select the layer that says folder 1, and drag it to whatever project you're working on at the top bar. voila! your adjustment layers are applied to your new gif!

i still like to play with the settings, as coloring and brightness needs will differ from gif to gif.

thanks for reading! here's the gifset i made while making this tutorial :-)

[furiousgoldfish]

(tw mention of suicidal thoughts)

Alright so I am writing this because I can't find anyone to talk to, and my brain is letting me know that I need to talk about it somewhere.

I am falling depressed, and I'm unsure if it's genuine depression, or some sort of deep grief that is just feeling very similar. And I've already looked up what you're supposed to do if you're trying to break out of depression; I am sleeping full 8 hours on a regular sleep schedule, I shower regularly, I do my best to eat regular meals (sometimes it doesn't happen due to lack of energy), if I have any energy left in me, I take a little walk, I pay attention to my surroundings. I do my best to answer messages and to socialize, even superficially, with the people I see.

However, despite me doing all that, the deep feeling of sadness is persevering, in fact it gets worse after my walks, I end up going home in worse feeling of dread than before.

I was going to keep trying to break out of it, and then today something bad and triggering happened, and my mind just went very dark. Like what is even the point anymore? I started considering if anyone around me would be impacted by my suicide. And then just tried to dissociate from the bad thing that happened, tried to create reality in which it didn't. Like I could ignore it out of existence. Like maybe if I just curl up over there and never look at anything ever again, maybe then bad things would go away.

I tried to comfort myself thinking I could, at least, tell people around me and see if anyone would say anything kind or helpful, but people around me did not care at all, would go on about their troubles instead and looked at me like I was weirdo for complaining. Which again, made me feel like talking to people was the worst idea ever and like I was dumb for even engaging, I should have known I'm alone in this.

So now I'm back to sinking down in my grief, occasionally getting numb from it and sinking again. I had periods, years of grief in the past, and it just feels like you're slowly dying, right, and it doesn't stop and it feels suffocating and like you'd do anything for it to stop. But also in the past, I knew what I was grieving; it was the loss of my delusion of family, loss of hope that I will have family members who are in any way safe for me, loss of security and safety that comes with family, acknowledgment that I was abandoned and left with predators for the most of my life. I thought I was done grieving about all that, because for a while I just didn't think about it, and it didn't bother me. I don't think that's what I'm grieving now.

It's actually hard to pinpoint it, because my memories are mostly gone, but I think it's the loss of friendships in my life. I've tried hard to build connections with other people, even as scared and reluctant I was feeling about it, but it always fell trough, and left me feeling with less hope. The ends of friendships were so traumatic for me, that my memories of the entire friendships got deleted. And I can tell right now that hearing anything about people having friends, spending time together and helping each other, that usually sets my grief off, and causes me to start crying regardless of where I am. I tried to recall my past memories of friendships, but all I get back are things I never want to feel or live trough again. Every memory feels like enough reason never to interact with a person again, all of them cut so deep I have to dissociate from them right away.

And basically I don't know what to do. I am losing every bit of my willpower or energy to do anything. Even with my best efforts to stay upright, to interact with my environment and go to walks, I'm only out of bed while I'm working. And I'm randomly bursting into tears and collapsing while I'm doing my job. I am messing up basic tasks. There isn't any activity that isn't exhausting. And everything I cared about feels like nothing to me. I can't even imagine a future, which is usually what I did to pull myself out of bad moods, I would imagine a future where I had a home of my own, and security that I would be able to survive there without having to fight for my life. Now it feels like even if I had that, I would just still want to die.

I've been slowly falling into this place for months, but it is more real today than at any time before. I've put so much effort not to end up feeling like this but... it only makes me more sad to know I'm in this mess anyway. I don't know what to do. I've tried interacting with people, I've tried befriending people, every new interaction feels like it's going to drown me further.