#i hope i can pull this off but we'll have to see
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Pretty Girl
Pairings: Derek Morgan x Reader Word Count: 3.4k words Prompt: Praise Kink Warnings: NSFW, smut, praise kink, fingering, teasing, banter, creampie, aftercare... A/N: This was actually really fun to write so...here's some Derek Morgan fanfic (there's not much of him out there). Thank you and enjoy!
“Oh, baby,” Derek smiles. His eyes scan the length of your body, a floral sundress flowing down to your shoes. He takes you in with a kind of adoration that still makes you fluster sometimes.
Derek places a hand to his chest, like he's been shot by Cupid’s arrow and he's struggling to keep his heart pumping.
“Ain't you the prettiest woman on Earth?” He steps into your apartment, hands on your waist to pull you in. He dips his head down, his voice gentle and coaxing as your hands fall to his arms. “I hope you're savin’ some of that honey for your honey.”
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, leaning up on your toes to meet him in a kiss. He hums into your mouth. “I always do,” you smile, enjoying the way he strokes your sides with his thumbs.
You're supposed to go to the park, to stroll around for a bit and have lunch at your spot. With the way he's looking at you now, you don't think you'll be making that appointment.
“I don't know how you expect us to leave now when there's a perfectly good bed in here for us to spend some quality time in.” His lips dip down to your neck, pressing feather light kisses to your skin and occasionally nipping to hear your breath hitch.
“Derek, if you keep kissing me like that, we'll never leave.”
You can feel his smirk against your skin, his hands on your waist pulling you closer so your body is flush against his. “What makes you think that isn't my plan, mama?”
You giggle, his affection seeping into your skin and making it hard to stick to the original plan. “Derek, c’mon.”
He laughs back, his wandering hands only becoming more adventurous. His nose nudges yours. “Don't you ‘Derek, c’mon’ me, pretty girl. How do you expect me to see such a pretty thing like you and do nothin’ about it?”
You wrap your lips up in his again, letting him lean you back as his hand ventures down to the curve of your ass. You let him lift your leg until your knee is pointed out by his side. You chuckle giddily into his mouth, pulling him in even more as you let yourself be lost in him.
As you feel his other hand easing down your other side, you let him lift it as you wrap your legs securely around his waist. He steps into your apartment, nudging the door shut behind him with his foot. Derek effortlessly carries you through the small living room, into your bedroom like you weigh nothing.
Derek lays you on your back, standing between your legs and bending over you with a smile still intact. “God, you're beautiful, mama.” He kisses your collarbone with gentle lips. His hands roam your body, legs still wrapped around him, as he feels every dip and every curve of it with an appreciative touch.
His hands dip below your dress, feeling along the soft skin of your thighs. He squeezes them gently and smiles every time you sigh. “That feel good?” You nod, letting him gather your wrists together in one hand and bring them over your head.
His hand continues to caress your skin, teasing you with feathery touches. “Use your words, pretty girl? Does it feel good when I touch you like this?”
His hand presses flat against your ribcage, cupping your side as his thumb tucks beneath your breast, feeling the heat of it with a smile. He brushes your skin gently, causing your breath to hitch at the slightest sensation.
“Yeah, Dee,” you whisper. “Feels good—I love it.”
“Good, mama. That's good.”
His nose grazes the underside of your jaw, and his hand continues to roam. His fingertips brush lightly against the circle around your nipple, and your shallow breaths turn to cut off little whimpers. Your lashes flutter, and you struggle to keep still.
“Don't tease, Derek.” You peek at him with your brows furrowed in concentration.
His smile shines, embracing you with a loving kiss. “I'm not teasin’, mama. I'm just takin’ my time with you.”
You huff half-heartedly, enduring his “time” a little longer before his touch finally brushes your nipples. The more he touches them, the more they peak beneath the fabric of your dress.
“Can I take this off you?” he asks between gentle kisses to your neck. You nod, giving a little hum of approval as you feel his hands take hold of your dress. He slips the straps off your shoulders, splays his hand along your back to lift you gently, enough to find your zipper and drag it down with a torturous speed.
He takes his time in undressing you, revealing more and more skin to his loving gaze. He hums at the sight of your breasts, a hand cupping one to let his thumb graze over your hard nipple.
“Look at you,” he emphasizes each word. “What did I do to be so lucky, huh?” Your skin floods with heat at his words, and you think you'll get dizzy if he keeps talking to you like this.
You do become dizzy when the heat of his mouth wraps around one of your nipples, licking teasingly and sucking on it to listen to the way your breath hitches, the way you squirm as you try to stifle tiny murmurs. You hum his name with no real intent to say anything, holding the back of his neck in one hand while the other tries to decide what to do.
He grabs it by your wrist, smoothing his hand up the length of it until he's clasping them together. You melt under his touch, under his hand and mouth and the warmth of his body pressed against your now bare one.
“I don't think it's fair that I'm naked, and you're fully dressed,” you murmur between little breaths.
He chuckles deep in his throat. “You wanna undress me, pretty girl?”
You grin down at him, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, I wanna undress you.”
He pulls away from you reluctantly, standing to his full height in front of the bed. “C'mon, mama. Undress me,” he says, one hand held out to help you stand.
You take it gratefully, sitting up so you're standing in front of him. He's taller than you, so you have to look up to see him as you flatten your hands against his chest.
You decide to go slow, as he'd done with you. You start at the top button, very slowly pulling it undone before moving onto the next. When they're finished, you slide the shirt off his body and let it fall to the floor without a second thought.
“Now who's teasing?” he smirks. He eases forward to kiss you, but you lean back with a grin curling your lips, glancing between his lips and his eyes. “Oh, it's like that?”
“It's like that,” you nod. You can't stifle your smile as you look at him, amused by his banter. You smooth your hands down his chest, stroking his warm skin, the curves of his abs.
“Okay, okay. We'll see how funny it is when it's me.”
You furrow your brow humorously, unbuckling his jeans with deft fingers. “Uh-uh, this is pay back.”
“Is it?”
You shove your hand into his pants, cupping his bulge with a light squeeze. He groans, his jaw clenching and his eyes squeezing shut.
“It is,” you beam. You press your body against his and kiss his chin. You can feel him hardening under your palm as his hands squeeze your waist.
“You're an evil woman,” he teases.
You retract your hand to push his jeans down his waist. You glance down every now and then to see the prominent V line disappearing into his boxers. “You gonna arrest me, agent?”
He steps out of his jeans just as you're wrapping your fingers around the waistband of his boxers. “I might have to.”
“What's the charge?”
He lifts a crooked finger beneath your chin, tilting your head. “On account of you bein’ too fuckin’ fine–”
His words break off into a moan when you grab his cock, lightly squeezing with a cocky grin on your face. He pulls you close by your hips, turning his head into the crook of your neck.
“What was that? I didn't catch that last bit.”
“Don't be a smart ass,” he says, though he laughs when he does. You stroke him up and down, slowly and with a tight fist. He curses under his breath, the only sound other than both your sighs into each other's ears.
Derek plants his hands at your sides and picks you up once more, placing you back on the bed to lay you on your back. His lips reattach themselves at your collarbone, exploring your chest as you sigh and moan.
Your hips lightly jerk when you feel his middle finger at the seam of your pussy, dragging up and down to capture the arousal he finds there. “You're good, mama?”
You nod quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, don't stop.”
“I won't. You're too good for that.” He kisses the valley of your breasts, teasing you before thrusting his finger into your pussy. You clench around him immediately, lifting your hips in search of his hand.
“Fuck, Dee, need you inside me,” you whine, holding him tight with your arms locked around his shoulders. “Please? I need you, baby.”
He chuckles, adding a second finger and listening to your tiny gasp. “I know, mama, but I gotta make sure you're nice and ready for me. I'm a gentleman, aren't I?”
You want to roll your eyes, but he kisses any sarcasm away as his fingers pump and curl and test the waters of your desire. You mewl, letting him touch you as you struggle to get your thoughts straight. He feels really good, warm and thick and ever teasing.
He starts thrusting them a little faster, more and more until your breaths are uneven and pitchy. “You like that? S’that feel good, gorgeous girl?”
“Y-yeah. God, yeah.” Your hips keen into his hand, searching for more pleasure.
“Good. Just feel it. I'm gonna take care of you, mama. Just let me take care of you.”
You nod, closing your eyes and listening to his little murmurs of praise and encouragement. They make you feel warm, tingling in your belly like a dull fire.
After a while longer of his lips on your chest and his fingers inside you and his velvet words in your ear, he pulls his fingers out of you. A sound gets caught in your throat, worse when he soothes you over with a gliding finger against your folds.
“How're you doin’, beautiful?” He kisses your neck and you hum.
“I'll be better when you stop teasing me.”
He laughs again, repositioning himself on the bed to kneel between your legs, taking them into his lap. “What do you think I'm doin’ right now?” He smiles at you with an overwhelming amount of love, stroking his cock in his hand. “C’mon, greedy girl, open up for me. You ready?”
You smile back at him, your chest rising and falling with anticipating breaths as you bring your knees up and apart. “Yeah, Dee. Stop makin’ me wait, jerk.”
He tuts, shaking his head humorously. “Look at me bein’ a gentleman, calling you all these nice names, only to have you call me a jerk? You know what I say to that?”
You sit up on your elbows, lifting a brow but unable to erase your smirk. “What?”
“I say,” he presses his tip against you, “that you are,” the head of his cock eases inside of you, “still the most beautiful woman,” you both hold your breath as he keeps pushing inside you, “I have ever seen.”
You both let out long, breathy moans when he seats fully inside of you. Derek leans over your body, one arm braced at the side of your head to keep himself up. He grunts, pausing for a moment as he feels the way you constrict around him.
You wrap your arms desperately around his body for support, your legs coming up to do the same as you cling to him. He's so big. He stretches you out and fills you up until you can't breathe, and you relish in every sensation as he allows you some time to get used to it.
“Fuck, mama, always feel so good f’me,” he grunts, holding your side tightly. “You're so perfect, baby.”
You sigh, nodding into the crook of his neck. “You can move. I got it, baby.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm, need you,” you whisper. You kiss a spot on his neck for good measure.
He nods back, holding you steady as he slowly pulls out of you. When he thrusts back in, it's still slow, but it's much deeper with a lot more fervor. You clench around him, feeling the pleasure beginning to tingle within you with each thrust, building and building until you're a mess of moans and simple words of enjoyment.
“You're doin’ so good. Look at you, beautiful girl.
Derek holds you securely, not letting you go for one moment and ensuring he's always holding you in some way. He keeps you steady by your waist and strokes circles in your side. He kisses your face to ease any crease made in concentration. He tells you how perfect you are, how beautiful, how lovely.
“Make me feel so good, mama.” He glances down between your bodies, watching where he disappears inside of you. “Look at that. You're so fuckin’ perfect, baby. You see how well we fit?”
He kisses your forehead where your brows are pinched up in pleasure. You look down to find where he's gazing, watching as his cock splits you open with each thrust. If you look close enough, you can see the bulge of him in your belly, and it makes you dizzy.
You press your foreheads together, holding onto him as you continue to watch the way he fucks you. He's loving and kind, but he's not overly gentle like he's scared he'll bruise you like a peach. His thrusts are measured, quick and strong and filling without an ounce of unkindness. He listens to the way you moan and, once he finds the angle that has you trying to stifle your sounds, he keeps hitting it over and over until you're gasping.
“There ya go, mama. Right there? Is that where it is?” You nod quickly, looking up at him with watery eyes and lips slightly swollen from all the kissing.
“Yeah—Yes, baby. Don't s-stop.” The pleasure ebbs and flows, fills every crevice and every little nook inside you that it can find until Derek is all you can think about.
“Won't stop. You just keep moanin’ for me, just keep squirmin’.” Derek takes one of your hands, lifting it to clasp them together and hold beside your head as he keeps thrusting into you. Your breaths and moans fill the air, heating in each other's space as you share in the pleasure, the love.
“Oh, baby, look at you, listen to you. You're so gorgeous, so—fuck—so tight. My pretty girl, yeah? You're my pretty girl who likes it when I make love to her? Hm?”
He's going to kill you. His praise is dizzying in the best way. It fills your brain and elevates your pleasure until you feel like there's nothing left but him. “I love it, Dee,” you whisper, holding him with your free hand. “So good, so fuckin’ good.”
He nods. You can feel the subtle change in his thrusts, the slightest shift from long thrusts to shorter pumps of his cock inside you. You know for certain that he's beginning to lose any remaining control when one of his hands drops between your bodies and plays with your clit. He rubs at it in tight, stroking circles.
You moan his name, almost like you're shocked by the action as it immediately makes all the senselessness worse. You clench around his cock, the delicious drag of each thrust makes you moan more.
“See what you do to me?” he asks breathlessly. “How long did I last? Used to do so much better—you make it impossible, mama.”
Derek is a womanizer. Always has been, always will be. He's been with so many women that you had to come to peace with the fact that you fell in love with a player—essentially, a respectful version of a fuckboy—as soon as it happened.
So hearing that you're ruining his stamina one thrust at a time is a very, very ardent thought. It goes straight to your head until you're smiling through the pleasure, even with the slightest giggle on your tongue.
“Now you're laughing,” he says, chuckling himself. “My sweet girl is so mean to me. Calls me a jerk, laughs at me. My pretty, pretty girl.”
You whine, his pace on your clit maddening between all the winding bliss. “Baby, i-if you keep talking l-like that…I'm not gonna last very long.” Your word ends in a muffled cry.
He chuckles, though it's a lot less nuanced between his own struggle to hold on. “Maybe that's my plan… It's embarrassing if I finish first.”
You can't even respond. There's too much to focus on, and it's only getting worse and worse the tighter his circles get.
A knot tightens and tightens in your belly, his thrusts deep inside you only adding to the coil. “I'm gonna cum, Derek,” you gasp quietly, your voice rising by a few pitches. “Please, you're gonna make me cum.”
He grunts, channeling his thrusts and working faster at your clit. Tension invades every muscle in your body until it all snaps with a deep gasp.
You cry out as you lay your head back on the bed. Derek's head rests beneath your chin as his tongue laves lazily at your chest between kisses. You hold onto whatever you can, gasping and moaning as your brain goes fuzzy and your body stays suspended in air.
“Oh, fuck—’m cumming, baby. Please don’t stop,” you mumble, tightening your legs around his waist and your arm around his neck.
His hand tightens in your own, pushing it farther into the bed as his thrusts become short and deep. “Oh, mama,” he moans into your ear. He ruts into you in a few tempered thrusts, seeking that impossible closeness in the throes of pleasure.
You both stay like that, breathing and moaning and holding onto each other for dear life. He sits deep inside of you, flooding you with a warmth that has you sighing.
When he can think straight again, both of your combined bliss reduced to a buzzing in your homes, he lets out a deep breath.
“Oh, fuck,” he sighs. “You're so perfect. Most perfect girl in the world.” He turns his head to kiss your temple. He stays close enough so that you're still sharing in the other's warmth, pulling out of you slowly and kissing away any discomfort he finds in your face. “You know how amazing you are, sweetheart?”
You still hold onto him, not letting him go for even a moment as his hands stroke your sides slowly, lovingly. “You're amazing,” you whisper.
He cups your cheek, stroking his thumb over it with a smile and kissing your lips so softly, you think your heart might burst. “Was that okay? You feel good?”
You nod, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck and sighing when his voice reverberates in his chest with his laugh. “Yeah. Really good. Perfect.”
“Good, mama.” He kisses your temple again before unwrapping your arms reluctantly from him.
“No,” you whine, tightening your hold with no real fight.
He laughs, the sound almost loud as he breathes in your scent. “I'm just gonna clean you up, baby. We made a bit of a mess.”
You huff but relent, loosening your grip. He leans back and takes a nice long look at you, still so, so pretty as you stare at him with full eyes and kiss-swollen lips. “Can we…take a nap? And then lunch after? I'm so tired now.”
He leans down to kiss you. “I think that's a great idea, pretty girl.”
You hum against his lips, nuzzling once more before letting him go to clean you both up. Once he's done, he's scooping you into his arms and cuddling you under the covers like a lover boy, rather than a “playa”. You don't mind it one bit.
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your obstinate charge | astarion ancunin
Astarion has never been allowed to say 'no' before. When he does, he realizes who he wants to say 'yes' to. You realize that he could kill you here, right now, in any number of ways. He could slit your throat, drive a dagger beneath your ribs & pierce your heart, bleed you dry until you're nothing but a memory upon this land. You realize this, and yet your body relaxes in his hands. You trust him completely.
warnings: 18+, MDNI, afab reader but any pronouns, durge reader, act 2 spoilers, previous abuse, smut, oral (f! & m! receiving), blood drinking
word count: 5.3k
masterlist | link to ao3
notes: hello! i wrote this last year and posted on ao3, and i wasn't going to cross post since my blog is mostly jjk, but i reread it and was really proud of it, so here it is on tumblr! ty for reading & hope you enjoy!
Everyone at camp can see that Astarion is in a foul mood.
You arrived back at Last Light after your first journey to Moonrise Towers, finally having arrived at your end goal to destroy these tadpoles, and before you could all share your discoveries with the rest of the party, Astarion strode off towards the waterline, ducking into darkness before you could grab him.
You stare after him for a moment and shake your head. Then you turn towards the fire, folding your legs under you as you ready yourself for dinner.
Gale passes you a wooden bowl of the same stew you'd been eating since arriving in the Shadow-Cursed Lands. "How did it go?" he asks.
You shake your head again, shoving food in your mouth, and lift your shoulder in a shrug. "We found Ketheric," you explain, offering the memory of your meeting to Gale through your tadpoles. He grimaces as you share the images of Ketheric pulling the axe from his chest. You withdraw your mind from his and continue to eat. "We've convinced them that we're True Souls, for now. We'll see where it takes us."
Gale begins to speak over his own meal, airing his many ideas to the party as the others gathered around the fire. But your thoughts drift, and you aren’t even lucid enough to feel guilty for ignoring him; all you can think of was how you know Ketheric was somehow involved in your previous life, that life you can't remember. Determination begins to burn deep in your chest; you must find out what this all means.
Before you can try to sort out your disordered thoughts, Karlach plops down beside you, the heat of her warming you on all sides as she digs into her stew.
"Hey," she says through a mouth full of food, "what's wrong with Fangs?"
You shrug, pulling apart your warm roll of bread. "How am I supposed to know?"
"'Cause you're all cozy with him, or whatever." She looks at you, her bright eyes keen and knowing. "Whatever happened today, you know what must be bothering him. Maybe you should go check on him."
You almost laugh. "He doesn't want to see me," you tell her.
She gives you a stern look before returning to her meal. "Just think about it, soldier," is all she says.
You all finish your meal and talk about your plan for the next day before retiring to your own tents for the night. You change out of your armor and clean it, rubbing off stubborn stains of goblin blood. You try to lose yourself to sleep, but it does not take you, with your many worries for the next day. And, even though you don't want to, you can't help but think about what Karlach said.
"Maybe you should go check on him."
So, unable to sleep, and unable to think of anything else to do, you leave your tent and make your way towards Astarion's.
You walk over, the chill of the night making you shiver. You almost hope to find the tent closed up for the night, to find him already trancing for the night, but the entrance is still tied open. You peek inside, expecting to find your companion reclined and reading a book by candle light; you try to prepare yourself for whatever sly flirtation he has for you.
Instead, you find the tent empty.
You frown; you know that Astarion hasn't been able to find suitable prey since you'd arrived in the cursed lands, so you can't imagine that he's out prowling. You stand there for a moment, at a loss and trying to decide whether or not to just go to bed. But you sigh, as whatever blackened heart inside you pushes you forward.
You, thanking your lucky stars that he wasn't trying to hide when he skulked away, follow Astarion's tracks down towards the river.
—
You find him propped up on his elbows across the river, staring out across the water. You don't bother to try and hide your footsteps; you simply cross the river, taking care not to lose your footing on the loose stones along the way.
"Come to collect your obstinate charge?" Astarion sneers without looking at you as you approach.
You sit beside him, tucking your knees against your chest. You try to keep your dirty shoes off his cloak that he spread out on the ground beneath him.
Those words are familiar enough; that dreadful Drow called him that to your face when she asked for him to bite her. "She really got to you, huh?" you ask, resting your cheek on one knee as you turn to look at him.
He's still in his armor from the day, and he'd found a bottle of wine somewhere in the crates surrounding Last Light on his journey over. It's something cheap, something you're sure he finds repulsive, even as he drinks. He stares across the river towards the inn, and he's silent for so long you resign yourself to the fact that he's ignoring you. Then, as you're deciding if you should just leave him to his thoughts, he shakes his head and says, "I can't get it out of my head. The way she leered at me."
You watch him, waiting for him to speak. He swirls the bottle of wine and takes a drink, then grimaces at the taste and lets the bottle hang loosely from his fingers. He doesn't look at you as he thinks.
Eventually, he sighs, the sound light and airy. "I was being too precious, wasn't I?" You can tell he's trying to convince himself, to talk himself back into some dark line of thinking he'd grown accustomed since being turned. "We could have used her potion. A moment of unpleasantry doesn't matter if there's a fine reward. I should have just gritted my teeth as always and let her have me for a bit."
You feel your heart sink at his words. "Astarion," you whisper, unsure of what to say next.
He barks out a laugh, a short, derisive sound. "Oh, darling, I don't need your pity." He throws the bottle of wine towards the water, and the glass shatters against the river bank. Wine starts to spill into the river, spreading like blood.
You shake your head, confused by how quickly his mood shifts. You struggle to keep up. "Astarion, I don't pity you," you tell him. You turn to face him properly, to take this conversation seriously. He still doesn't look at you. "But you have the right to say 'no.' You don't belong to anyone anymore."
At those words, he shifts his gaze from the waterline to finally examine you. His eyes are narrow, the expression behind them inscrutable. "You really believe that, don't you?" He laughs again, but he's not amused. His voice is bitter as he continues, "Yes, well, I must admit, a part of me feels sick when I think about getting on my back for breadcrumbs again." He tilts his head, suddenly curious. "But you, you could have convinced me to take the deal. To just push through and get the potion, and we would've all just moved along with our lives. Why didn't you?"
"Didn't you hear me?" Your voice is slightly incredulous. "You said 'no,' and that's your right. I'm not here to force you to do anything." You, now, laugh without mirth. You know enough about not having a say in what you do, with your strange visitors haunting your every move.
Astarion is still watching you. He has to admit to himself, he doesn't understand you one bit. No one in this life or his last ever showed him any ounce of kindness; even the gods couldn't be bothered to look his way. But here you are, some insignificant wanderer with gore for brains and a strong propensity towards gruesome violence, sitting beside him and telling him he had a choice. "But you could've," he pushes, and he suddenly reaches forward, dragging aside your neckline to reveal bruised teeth marks from where he'd last fed. You stiffen slightly, caught off guard by his quick movements. "What have I done to deserve any of your grace? I deceived you, tried to hunt you in the night, have taken everything I could from you with no promises to give any of it back."
"Astarion," you whisper, and for the first time, you think you are finally seeing him. "What makes you think you have to earn it?"
And that, finally, is what breaks him.
He rises up on his knees and takes your face in his hands, and there's a frenzy there, a desperation that makes you tense. You think he might shake you so hard your ruined brain will rattle around in your skull, and you watch the thought form behind his eyes. You realize that he could kill you here, right now, in any number of ways. He could slit your throat, drive a dagger beneath your ribs & pierce your heart, bleed you dry until you're nothing but a memory upon this land.
You realize this, and yet your body relaxes in his hands.
You trust him completely.
The look in his eyes is suddenly wild, confused, exasperated. Of all the prey he's ever hunted before, why did you have to be the one he showed the monster to? Anyone else would've run; you should've, too. Yet here you sit, on this riverbank beside him, looking into his blood-red eyes because he's led you right where he wanted you. Surely you aren't too stupid to see that.
Yet here you are, staring at him with those big, trusting eyes as he holds your life in his hands.
There must be something wrong with you, he decides then. Beyond the parasite in your head, and beyond the spells of very bloody memory loss; there is something fundamentally, elementally, seriously wrong with you. It's the only way he can explain to himself why you're still sitting here, prey in its predator's sight, unwavering & unafraid.
At that look in your eyes, that brave, corruptible expression, he leans closer. He says your name, and it's like the last prayer he'll ever speak. "Tell me what you want," he whispers, and he's almost begging.
You lean in, too, until the tip of your nose brushes the slope of his, and you breathe, "You."
And then he's kissing you, and you let out a small gasp, because you can't believe this beautiful elf has chosen you. He breathes you in, his hands still cupping your cheeks, and you thread your fingers into his silvery curls, beckoning him closer. One of his hands traces down your side, wrapping around your waist and holding you closer so you can feel the lines of him through your camp clothes. You gasp again, surprised by his unyielding grip, and his tongue slips between your parted lips, searching, exploring, tasting. You groan quietly, low in your throat, and his other hand traces from your cheek to your neck, fingers searching for the source of the sound. They find it, and they squeeze…
With his hand on your throat, feeling your pulse through the delicate skin, Astarion is nearly hypnotized.
He wishes that hunger deep in his belly would fade, would disappear and leave him to enjoy this, to lose himself in the moment like he hasn't in two hundred years. But it burns hot, and he can hear your heart beating strong in your chest, quickening as he moves against you, presses into you. It gnaws at him, spurned and getting harder to ignore, and you feel him bracing, beginning to pull away because he shouldn't do this to you— he can't—
You pull back from him, and he wonders how you could have possibly known his thoughts and braces for the impact of a stake in his heart—
Instead you tilt your chin and arch your back, and your hands in his hair lead him right to where he needs to be. His mouth brushes the pulse at your throat.
His vision flashes red; he can feel your blood thrumming against his lips, feel the seductive brush of each pulse against his mouth. He groans, and he wants to fight it, because gods he wishes things were different, but his lips part and his jaw opens, and he's biting into your throat.
A breath hisses from between your teeth at the sensation, at the ice traveling down your spine and chilling you to the bone. His mouth on you is unyielding as he cradles you in his hands, drinking you in in every way possible. Your eyes fall closed, and you begin to float, your thoughts becoming lighter than the clouds. You smile, because you can still feel him grasping at you, wanting you, needing you.
You trust him completely.
That hunger inside him pushes him to drink you dry, to tear your life from your hands until it burns in his chest instead. But he pries himself away from your throat, mouth dripping with scarlet and breath stuttering from between his lips. You can feel his chest heaving against you, can feel air fanning against your neck. You're still smiling.
"You," he gasps, easing you back down against the ground beneath you as he licks his teeth clean, "you ruin me." And then he kisses that smile on your mouth, and he's hovering over you, holding himself above you. It feels like a question.
When he pulls away, you open your eyes to see the stars painted over his shoulders. He looks predatory, like he's standing over the tattered remains of his latest hunt, but you see the softness in his expression, the vulnerability. He doesn't want to hurt you; he doesn't want this to be like all the other times, and he surely doesn't want this to be the first of its own terrible kind. He wants you, you realize. Not your blood, not your power, not your protection or your loyalty or your allegiance; he wants you.
You're ready to let him have you, if he'll take you.
"Astarion." You whisper his name, and he leans closer, his curls brushing your cheek. It tickles, and you giggle under your breath.
He tries not to stiffen at the sound. He forgets how soft you are sometimes, how gentle. It creates an air of innocence, though he watched you tear through goblins and cursed undead only hours before, and he knows without a doubt you can handle yourself. For a moment, he feels like the monster under the bed again.
But you touch his face, so very gently, and kiss him. Softly, sweetly, you call him back to you.
"I'm yours," you breathe, "if you'll have me."
And oh, it’s not even a question.
He’ll have you, he decides, pressing you back against the ground until rocks dig into your shoulders. He’ll take whatever you will give him, and when you’ve had enough, he will probably still be on his knees before you, begging for more.
Before that thought can scare him away, he trails his touch over your thin, casual clothes, grasping at the hem of your shirt. He pulls it over your head, leaving you naked from the waist up. He pulls back to look at you, to admire you, but you — suddenly cold and bashful — wrap your arms over your chest.
You hide from him, and he’s suddenly confused.
He examines the nervous look in your eyes, the way you're flushed in embarrassment and trying to hide beneath him, and all the little puzzle pieces suddenly click into place. This is new to you, he realizes. Maybe not truly and entirely; maybe you were taken to bed in whatever life you had before, but you don't remember that now. For you, with your absent memories and shattered persona, this was your first time.
It's suddenly all too much for him, and he shrinks away from you, leaning back into his heels. He holds his face in his hands, and he shakes his head ever so slightly, because it's too familiar a sight, to pin down bright innocence beneath his hips and drag it into the darkness. He wants to run away, to curse you for ever asking him to come to your camp and join your little band of misfits.
For a moment, he wishes he never met you; at least he wouldn't have to question every action he takes.
You prop yourself up on your elbows as he recedes from you, and very slowly and gently take one of his hands in yours. He's shaking, just barely, but your throat seems to close with a flood of emotion.
"Astarion," you whisper, and you gently pry his hand away from his face. His eyes are shut tightly, his lips twisted in a grimace. You bring his hand towards your lips, and you leave a kiss on his palm, feather light. "Astarion," you say again, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to."
Of course, you have to be the first person to say those words. The first person to encourage him to say no, when all he wants — for the first time in two hundred years — is to say yes.
For a moment, he’s bitter, and you can see the flash of frustration in his eyes when he finally opens them. But it’s gone in a moment, and he grins, flashing his teeth as he leans back in. “My dear,” he says, his silver tongue and honeyed words his only protection against the overwhelming confusion that’s threatening to settle over him, “I want this, trust me.”
He moves to catch your mouth with his, but you put your hand on his chest and stop him before he can. Your brows are creased, pulled together in concern.
The message is clear; you won’t let him use you to destroy himself.
His eyes flutter closed once more, and he breathes deeply, reminding himself where he is, who he is with. When he opens his eyes, they are gentle, softer than you’ve ever seen. You think, for a moment, maybe he has grown to trust you, too.
Slowly, without that same underlying malice, he leans in, close enough that his lips brush yours when he speaks. “I want this,” he repeats, his voice so quiet you can almost convince yourself you’ve imagined it. But then his mouth is on yours again, and he returns to his work removing your clothes.
His movements are slow, now, methodical. Like he’s trying to shake off decades of ghosts as he slides your pants down your thighs; maybe he is, you think. The fabric reaches your ankles, and you help him wriggle you free, and he tosses the clothing aside. Your underwear soon follow. Then, for one long, languorous moment, he looks at you, naked under the moonlight. Your mouth is red and sinful from kissing him, and the chilly breeze of the ever-present darkness raises goosebumps along your skin. Your nipples grow hard and pink, and you shiver. His gaze continues lower, to where you nervously squeeze your legs together in one last attempt at preserving your decency.
He wants to ruin you.
He brushes your thighs apart with one commanding swipe of his hand, and you shiver at the look in his eyes. Pupils blown wide with desire, he stares up at you through his lashes as he dips down, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the valley between your breasts. He settles his body between your legs, and he veers to one side and licks a line towards one nipple, catching it between his lips. The wind cools his saliva until you’re shivering, and you’re not sure if it’s the cold or the pleasure as your head tilts back, your body arching against the ground.
Astarion suddenly sucks, his cheeks hollowing slightly as he pulls at your nipple. You gasp, and he relishes in the sound, watching you bare your throat to him. He gazes up at you, admiring the sight, as his hand slips between your thighs.
Suddenly, you gasp when fingertips stroke against your core, revealing your glistening slick. Astarion groans, the mound of your breast still in his mouth. “All this talk,” he teases, reaching up and grabbing your jaw in one hand. With the other, he rocks his touch back just slightly, barely brushing against your clit. “You should be the one telling me how much you want it, desperate little thing.”
Your face burns at his words and his casual tone, but you can’t even argue with him before he sweeps his tongue into your mouth. He licks your teeth, and at the same time he presses two fingers inside you, and you let out a broken moan against his lips. You can feel his wolfish smile as he pulls back before pumping back inside you.
You can feel how wet you are, can feel it dripping down the inside of your thighs. He moves slowly, though, allowing the gentle stretch of his fingers as he kisses you. His thumb draws lazy little circles over your clit, and he catches each of your moans with his mouth, learning exactly what you like with a few strokes of his expert hands.
Then, just as your breathing starts to hitch and break, he pulls away, taking his hand from the wet heat between your legs.
The sound you make almost comes out as a whine, and Astarion laughs, watching you flush deep crimson. “Someone needs to mind their manners,” he chastises playfully, and then he lifts his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean, maintaining eye contact the entire time.
Your flush impossibly deepens, and you almost look away in embarrassment. But you can’t tear your eyes from the shameful scene, and you can tell that he knows how much it turns you on to see him like this. He grins again, and then he dips his head, disappearing between your thighs.
Before you can process his quick movements, you feel him lick molten heat up your core, and you throw your arms out to the sides, scrambling for purchase. You gasp his name, and you feel him chuckle more than you hear it.
”Yes, my dear?” he asks before running the flat of his tongue against your clit.
Your body stiffens, and your face lifts to the heavens. “Don’t stop,” is all you can muster.
And he doesn’t.
He eats you out until you’re shaking, falling apart under him. He presses his fingers back into you, three this time, and sucks on your clit while he strokes you from the inside. He stares up at you while he does it, watching you writhe in breathless, beautiful agony. One of your hands finds his hair, brushing through his curls with a touch that’s much too gentle for what you’re suffering at his hand.
You can feel your pleasure mounting, tightening like a coil deep in your belly while heat flames between your legs. Your moans are coming out in pants, now, barely intelligible noises that break against the riverbed. Your hand in his hair tightens, gripping for dear life and holding him there and pushing him away all in the same movement, and your back bows off the ground, your eyes nearly rolling back into your head as he pushes you higher and higher—
Then, like a band snapping, your orgasm rocks through you, and your vision goes black while your hips stutter and your core clenches and quivers.
Bliss washes over you, and you slowly come back to earth, and you find Astarion unbuckling his armor, nearly frantic in his movements.
”Astarion,” you croak, reaching for him.
He leans over you, kissing you, letting you taste yourself on his lips, his tongue. His hands tug feverishly at the buckles.
”Astarion,” you sound like you’re begging. “Astarion, please—“
He huffs playfully, still pushing off his leather armor one layer at a time. “What is it?” he asks, sparing one hand to stroke gently at your throat. “Do you need some attention? Aren’t you just obsessed—?”
”No,” you whine, finally rising up on your knees and reaching for his hands. “Let me— I want you to feel good.”
By now, his chest is bare, and he’s kicked off his boots. “Sweet thing, the thought of being inside you is driving me insane.” His leather pants slide down his thighs. “Do you want—?”
”Astarion,” you say again, your voice emphatic. You take his hand and bring it to your mouth, parting your lips against his fingers. “Please.”
Astarion freezes suddenly, staring at you with an expression of recognition. His eyes trail from yours down to your mouth, where his fingers sit. He can feel the heat of your breath, and he grows impossibly harder at the thought of what you’re asking.
It’s something he’s so rarely done since being turned. A pleasure he’s so rarely accepted.
Your lips brush his fingertips when you speak. “I want to make you feel good,” you whisper, and then you take two of his fingers in your mouth.
His stomach drops as he watches you, and his cock twitches at the sinful sight of your lips wrapped around his long pale fingers. You watch his pupils dilate, and his lips part slightly as you slide your tongue down, swirling gently. Your own desire pools in your belly, watching him watch you.
Please.
He nods, his breath starting to hitch slightly at the idea of filling that mouth. You smile, and you draw back until his fingers leave your mouth with a pop. Then you ease him back gently onto his elbows, picking up where he left off by dipping your fingers into the band of his underwear. You look up through your eyelashes, watching his chest heave up and down.
”Tell me to stop,” you say sternly, and he nods, understanding your meaning. So, having his confirmation, you continue.
You slide his last layer of clothing slowly down his strong thighs, watching every reaction your movements elicit. Watching for any sign of trepidation, of apprehension. But you only see desire, and one of his hands goes to your hair, knotting in your tresses. Encouraging you further.
You move your hands lower and lower, and your mouth begins to water as you follow the shaft of his cock. He’s gorgeous in every way, and when you finally reveal the pink head, glistening with precum, you have to hold yourself back from devouring him.
You tug his underwear the rest of the way off, and then you kneel in front of him, sure that whatever gods may be listening have placed him here in front of you.
You dip your head forward, wanting only to touch him with your mouth. With his hold on your hair, hopefully that would give him enough power to say no if it became too much. Tentatively, and watching for his reaction, your tongue slips out from between your lips and licks a gentle line along his shaft, giving you your first taste of him.
Astarion’s entire body stiffens at the sensation, and you do not move again, waiting for some sign that this was okay. After a moment, he tugs at your hair and very gently touches your cheek, and the look in his eyes is clear direction for you to continue.
You brush your lips against him, leaving gentle kisses, and then your tongue follows to the head of his dick, tasting his precum before swirling and bobbing deeper.
Astarion throws his head back, and he keens as you take him into your mouth. It’s a broken sound, but his hand in your hair pushes you deeper, and you obey. You drool when his hips cant forward, and you match his movements by swirling your tongue and pulling back before sliding all the way back down. He almost can’t believe the skill of your mouth, with how innocent you looked not five minutes ago, but then his thoughts scatter again when he hits the back of your throat.
He wants to press you down until you’re choking on him, wants to cum in your mouth and make a mess of you—
But he stops himself, pulls you back by your hair and kisses you, because he needs to fuck you.
He’s panting when he grabs you by the throat and lowers you onto your back. “Say it again,” he tells you, half delirious with the need to be inside you. “Say you’re mine.”
”I’m yours,” you respond immediately, eyes shining in the moonlight.
He groans your name, cupping his hands under your thighs. He wraps your legs around his waist, lining himself up at your entrance. Your cunt is still dripping for him, and he presses his fingers against your clit, watching you jump as he touches the swollen bundle of nerves. He laughs, a breathless sound, and then he places one hand beside your head, staring into your eyes as he slides inside you.
Thank you, he wants to say. Thank you for saving me.
But that’s much too vulnerable a thought to share, so he simply rocks his hips into yours, watching your mouth fall open in pleasure.
He’s perfect, you think as he slides back out of you before slamming back in, setting a brutal, unrelenting pace. He’s perfect and he’s here and he’s yours, and you want to tell him so, but you can’t even speak, so you squeak out moans and scrabble at his chest as he fucks you.
He watches you quickly come undone beneath him, and when he decides he needs more, he lifts one of your legs and props it over his shoulder. The new angle lets him hit a target inside you that has you seeing stars, and you’re a drooling mess beneath him, eyes glazed over with pleasure. His fingers once again find your clit, and he rubs those practiced circles, just like before. He watches your chest heave, and your lips try to form his name, but he’s knocking the wind out of you with every thrust. You feel him inside you, on top of you, all around you, and you know that this is dangerous, that this is the sort of magic that will keep you coming to his tent every night.
And oh, how you both want to tear each other apart each night.
You feel your second orgasm building, so much faster than the first, and you gaze up into his eyes, watching him fuck you, and it quickly becomes too much.
“Astarion,” you finally gasp, your voice pitched so high it almost breaks, “pleasepleasepleaseplease—“
The sound of your voice threatens to send him over the edge, and his thrusts begin to turn wild, frantic. He shoves himself into you until you come apart, unraveling at the seams. Your cunt clenches over and over again, pulling him closer from the inside, and before he can pull out to empty himself on your stomach, you grab his shoulder and tilt your hips forward, begging him to stay there.
Begging him to cum inside you.
The thought shatters him, and he moans into the crook of your shoulder, thrusting erratically as he rides out his own orgasm. You feel his cock twitching inside you, and you hold him close as his thrusts slow, then stop.
As you hold him, you press gentle kisses to his face. His forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose, his chin. His lips. He kisses you back, slowly, deeply. Then he pulls himself out of you, and you almost regret the sudden emptiness. But you can’t think about it for too long before he lowers himself to the ground beside you, and you follow him, still kissing every inch of him that you can reach.
”I’m yours,” you remind him. And even as you both start to clean up and head back to camp, he remembers those words.
He belonged to no one, but maybe one day, he wouldn’t mind belonging to you.
thanks for reading! -luna xx link to ao3
#bladurs gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion x tav#astarion x durge#astarion bg3#astarion baldurs gate#astarion x reader#astarion fanfic
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I'M ABSOUTELY SCREAMING AT THE SNEAK PEEK THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR SHARING AJSDLKFJASLKFJDASKLFJSDA
no because like this series is one of my hyperfixations atm and I keep coming back to reread Not Tonight and Not Here and linger on the blog and the sneak peek was so good!!! the anxiety and anticipation all bubbling together in my chest like some sort of sick halloween cocktail (in the best possible way)!!! The inner monologue about just taking advantage of the moment!! The realization of who's at the door!!! the anxiety of the whole city as something is wrong!!! Its so so so so so good thank you so much for giving us a teaser!!!! I can't wait for the next chapter!!!! (but also this isn't me trying to rush you please by all means take as much time as you need! If you waited until 2025 to post chapter three I would still be over the moon!)
I'm so glad!!!
I think the additions will also be nice for those who have read both the teaser and the official post when it comes out, so what you read there isn't just a whole copy and paste of what I've actually written. And you get a bit of insight into how that character feels in that moment, even if I didn't add it.
Though seeing how far along I am- I might post a second teaser when I'm almost finished, since the first half and the second-ish half are pretty different? With the second part being where the real angst kicks in- which if I do it right, may arguably be the heaviest ansgt moment of the series?? Which I only say that since- y'know, it's a direct face-to-face, in person kind of deal. (I wouldn't get my hopes up too high only because that's if I do it correctly. And I also don't want to disappoint you guys or anything, y'know?) Though I also might not, since I don't want to ruin or spoil the biggest part of the chapter- but again, that's if I pull it off.
We'll see- it depends! But I'm excited to give you guys the next part as well!!! And no worries, I won't be taking that long!
Even if I'm not exactly half way there (which, to be fair, it is a little difficult for me to determine where the half way point is since I've kind of 'divided' Part 3 into like, 7 parts????(with 3 of them already being done, and I'm working on the 4th bit right now.)), I'm almost to what I consider to be the biggest part of the chapter, since it's important, and where the angst really comes in. So we're getting there! And we'll see how long Part 3 ends up being as well from there.
Regardless, I'm happy you enjoyed and are so excited!!! Again, I'm excited myself to post the 3rd part, but that'll have to wait a lil bit longer. Though hopefully not too much longer!
#talking daydreams#no but really i'm super excited as well!#i hope i can pull this off but we'll have to see#the worst that can happen is that everyone is too ooc and the angst flops big time#but i'm just not going to think about that :]#not right now anyway-
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The towering creature comprised primarily of metal spikes looks at you with its nine optics.
#warhammer rogue trader#pasqal haneumann#pasqal rogue trader#UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i got yelled at for staying up past time to finish this but. i am admittedly very happy with the direction on this#i might colour it properly. we'll see if the skill matches the idea [cat hairball noises]#this is for the amarnat-heretek ending for him btw. pasqal constructs a totally-not-abominable-intelligence cogitator#that combines all the separate components from the amarnat collective. only now it needs judgement to complete itself!#abel is still fine btw hes basically been dismissed bc who needs imagination. very pandoras box hope situation there#i very much think pasqal's time in commorragh is akin to sa for him. i have complex ideas on his sense of relationship andsexuality#n he struggles alot with processing it. thus amarnat. thus he ends up accepting his fate as the carcass tm and primary motion system#choices are run through him and his spine is the mod's sternum basically. but pasqal himself doesnt really exist past that#when he reacts strongly to something it generates little convulsions in him that annoy the mod terribly.#he can and eventually will tear himself off the frame btw. this breaks the mod bc it cant move or decide#but pasqal also kinda ends up pulling out his own spine alien v predator style so. abel and heinrix if you wouldnt mind. ty#i thought the poll thing was fun is it fun
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everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;・∀・)
#i may have made a bad decision with the meat i cooked shdjdkl BUT I THINK IT'LL BE FINE#it was past the date on the packaging but it didnt smell or look or feel off at all so . i decided to risk it#and now im panicking bc i think perhaps that was actually rly stupid fhdkdl#but it was. so much money. i had no idea the date was so soon on the package when i got it from mum#I would've frozen it if I'd known dhdksl i should've looked#alas !!! i think it'll be fine tbh bc it genuinely did not seem spoiled at all so ... now we just pray#i had a fairly small serving of it and I'll see how i feel to figure out if the rest of it is safe to eat or not#im just fhdjdkl crying a little rn bc the past two days have been so awful and im so tired#i rly dont want to get sick on top of everything else going on#i would like one thing to go well fjdkdl just like. one thing. this feels like divine punishment for having the old lady group go so well#im just kind of losing my mind rn i think actually fhfkdl i have a therapy/counseling appt on monday though so we'll see if that helps#i do not have high hopes fjfkdl#MANNNN. can the universe give me a break PLEASE. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks to do well 😭😭#im putting in so much work and effort fhdksl can i PLEASE have this one thing go okay djdksl i do not want to get sick !!!#if i do get sick then im just. hhhhh. idk djdkdl it's just one more thing to add to my pile of Bad ig djdkdl what can ya do djdkdl#i am going to pull myself together and stop crying and go play stardew maybe idk fjdkdl i feel like im starting to crack a little bit#augh. augh. i would love to catch a break djdkdl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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OOO and. 19. smiles cutely :3 i love ur writing ros im going 2 chew on my computer more wip snippets pls i wanna read more wip snippets 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
YAYAYAYAYYY hiii :33 <3 ASHE FOR U!!!!! i meant to watch pd tonight & accidentally got sucked into the tranches & now it is. midnight. oops.
#i am working with the LOOSEST most reasonable postcanon assumptions here bc this in my head takes place like. 24 hours after whatever final#battle takes place. i wanna get it done b4 i find out what actually happens so u guys can point n laugh at meee :3#BUT. i also have a really fucking good track record for predicting things in pd so maybe ill be entirely on base. idk. we'll see!!!#this is the wingfic btw.horror of having a body vague evildeadisms ashe wingfic. mildly like pulling teeth bc i haven't rewatched s1 yet#so im working off my memory & also i have not written his pov before...#anyway hii whiskey catkiss.gif i hope u r having a good nighttttt <33 or. a good morning probably. same thing!!#whiskey tag!
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One thing I really like is that the whole Unhallowed Vespers trilogy (so Litany, Descant and Antiphon) is that is really served as my brainstorming test grounds for Thralls.
There are ideas in there I realize I don't like as much as I thought in hindsight, or conflict with other stuff I decided I'd rather pursue instead, and I get to have explored them before committing to those in a more long-form kind of project --or some that are too subtle or complicated to be carried out outside of writing (mostly thinking of a ton of Ganondorf character details, some things about gerudo culture that I want to tweak, characters that are getting axed because We Don't Have Time, etc).
On the contrary, there are things I set up in there I never actually got to explore, and I get to pull out that thread in here instead (basically every single of the hylians' character arc roughly, Nabooru, even Impa in a way). It's pretty weird and interesting to revisit the same core ideas twice, but in a different medium and with different character arcs in mind starting off the same thing.
#thoughts#thralls of power#animatic project#descant of greatness#litany of betrayal#antiphon#unhallowed vespers#ganondorf#impa#nabooru#thinking about that as I try to pick and choose what idea actually interests me about gerudo culture and especially its nuances#there are things I plan to do in Thralls that I much prefer#this new iteration of Ganondorf and Saeruk's relationship is soooo much more compelling to me for example#I think I didn't spend enough time unearthing Saeruk as her own character then with her own arc#but I still want to re-inject some of the ideas I had but with subtler worldbuilding this time#I just realized today I am still pretty attached to Ganondorf as somewhere on the aroace spectrum#and this being a very VERY subtle cause of conflict as to how he perceives his relation to belonging in gerudo culture#without having the society being as rigid and oppressive in gender roles as in Unhallowed Vespers#which can be done I think --and become more understated and alienating and heartbreaking in a way#because it is not as clearly stated as a pillar of expectation --but still slowly he still comes to realize he was never “a sister”#and what that does to him --and to the gerudos who both love him and fear/endure him all at once#at least that's my hope#Also. My dream of Serielle as an interesting piece of that even though she is a nightmare of a character to pull off right#I had two friends rereading two different versions of the outline#the first one thought her arc came out of nowhere#the second one perceived her as a one-note villain#and I want neither of those things!!! so!!!! where is the truth#we'll see#anyway
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trying to check out to see if i'll ever manage to get top surgery this year and. let's just say i thought the delay would be bigger but. the price is still always such a big ass problem i kinda wanna bash my head against a wall but. anyway
#living with 600/month and having no idea if i'll ever get a job after this semi-work that ends in march but. oh well!!!#already tried to calculate if i could ever save any money from the little time i get to work there but!!! only make me wanna cry#im afraid this will be another year w/o top surgery 😀 dying in the summer and wishing to rip my skin off. w/o the hope i'll at least#get a date some day. cos at this rate i have absolutely no hope ngl.#the whole organisation to get to one of the potential surgeon 2h away is already making me want to explode#i have absolutely no idea how i'll ever be able to pull this off. ever. i don't even know if we'll be able to stay in this flat by the end#of our contracts. so. yeah#i can't see past 4 months away how can i think i'll ever be able to start this thing going. trying to but i stay silly ing the situation but#!!!!! im so desperate i feel so drained and exhausted. the mere idea of summer makes me wanna kms i'm dreading going through it another year#smh.#absolutely no one gives a shit i shouldn't vent in da tags for the 1 day of the yea#but im suddenly hit with an enormous wave of despair that i know won't go away cos it's always on my mind#and seeing the facts once again that i'll prob never be able to afford it is not helpiiiinh#yes i live in france no not everything is paid by healthcare cos it's still considered as non vital </3333#dental/ear/teeth problems started to get fully refundable (on specific little things) only a few years ago#so we're like decades of getting top surgery refunded 100% im afraid</3#i shouldn't complain but then again what's the use of cool healthcare if we can't ever have access to a doctor. of any kind.#smh smh smh#rent over I'm sick of myself i'll shut up sorry
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Okay I will admit I was nervous going into Chalice of the Gods but I did love it
#ive been so distanced from the riordanverse since blood of olympus and i was very scared because this book is my og babies again#but rick pulled it off#were there things i didnt like? such as him forgetting Percy wore the invisibility cap before? yeah#and i wish there had been some more dialogue and meaningful conversations between characters. he's still shying away from that lately#which is disappointing#but im intrigued about what hes setting up and the little moments hes weaving in#we're still getting hints of percy's extreme power. like him with the river god?#rick what does it all MEAN#dont be a coward and commit to it#plus percy's growing resentment towards the gods and their treatment of everyone they see as less than them#give me the dark!percy storyline#but i also loved percy wavering on new rome (sorry girlies i am a new rome hater first and foremost)#and him mourning the fact that he wont be at chb much anymore#which i still think is so stupid but whatever im dealing with it#i loved all the callbacks to the og series. bit surprised rhea was introduced so casually but whatever#i feel like that could have been very cool#and the god of old age! gary! THAT was a great scene but again rick you can give us more#its okay the feelings and emotional dialogue wont hurt you#anyway im hopeful#this was just a first book in a trilogy so im hoping we'll get more into the deeper and darker themes as we go just like with pjo#you can do it rick#riordanverse#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#chalice of the gods#yes i finally read it today because i am finally reading again after weeks of work kicking my ass
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Fandom things I'm looking forward to:
Kingdom Hearts IV and Missing Link
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
Final Fantasy IX Remake
Final Fantasy Tactics Remaster or Remake (whichever it is. I've heard both things)
The fourth Madoka Magica movie, whenever that comes out (seriously. Where is it? First it was announced as the Concept movie. Then it was re-announced years later with a new name, and it's still missing)
The Percy Jackson TV show
The Infernal Devices TV show
Maybe the Twilight TV show. Maybe.
The animated Smallville continuation that Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum are working on, whenever it comes out
I was going to put Baron and Toluca on this list (that's, like, a spiritual successor to the OG "Roswell" TV show. Majandra Delfino who played Maria in the show wrote the script, and she and Brendan Fehr who played Michael star in it. They're also planning for more Roswell cameos in later episodes), but it came out and I didn't even know it? But I have no idea how to watch it, though, as I guess it only came out in theaters in Albuquerque. Here's hoping it comes out on DVD or something...
The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
The alleged Firefly reboot
The new Daredevil show
The Batman Part II
The next part in Tom Holland's Spider-Man movies
The DCU, starting with Superman Legacy in 2025
The Five Nights at Freddy's movie and Help Wanted 2
The Iron Lung movie
The TV show that it sounds like Markiplier will be working on after he's done with the Iron Lung movie
The next Bendy and the Ink Machine thing being worked on
MAYBE the Hello Neighbor sequel. I know. I KNOW! (It's really only because the second game had to end on a cliffhanger.)
Five Nights at Candy's 4
Frozen III
Disney's "Wish"
The next and final season of the Clear Card arc of Cardcaptor Sakura
The new Avatar series (the one about the third Avatar in the cycle: the Earth bender)
The live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender series, perhaps
The Chosen season 4
#As for things that haven't been announced#Ffxvi when that of course happens#The ffx remake if that rumor is true#I'm still hoping we'll get one more season of full metal panic to finish off the show. Please don't end things on a cliffhanger!#And no matter what I'll forever and always be pulling for a twewy3. Please give it to us Square. Pretty Please? With sugar on top?#I also still (mostly? Kind of?) wish we had a new Buffy show to look forward to. but alas. maybe someday#also after khiv nomura's all but confirmed that next is a verum Rex. And I'm. Like. Already pre-excited for that if that makes sense. Lol#And I don't know how to feel about the new death note movie adaptation I want to have faith in the Russo brothers but mostly I'm afraid#And I just- I LOVE death note. You all KNOW I love death note. But I just don't know what can be done with the story that hasn't already#been done#Unless you just completely change it and then piss off all of us fans. Again#I said it once and I'll say it again: i wish they were making a code grass movie instead (which has the beats they're looking to adapt in#death note. but other stuff too. and has never gotten a live-action adaptation so at least if nothing else it would be original)#there's also a part of me that wants to get caught up on winx club and see if this new season (that's maybe a soft reboot? but don't quote#me on that) will be better than some of the last ones and start getting the series in the direction in needs to be going again. hopefully#and isn't there some new pokémon season coming out where brock and misty reunite with ash (i read an article about it) which confuses me#because i thought the show ended?#unless the article was just talking about an english dub of the season that already aired in japan or something like that#i also should really get caught up on all of the sailor moon crystal stuff. shame on me for not being so!#somewhat. kind of. the next garten of banban game. God help me#kindergarten 3 if there ever is one#slayers: a buffyverse story would have been on here if they hadn't announced it after i made this list and if i'd remembered to come back#and add it. but i listened to it and loved it:)
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vent tags
#we just got a bill for over 700€ for electricity. it's got two months of charge that it shouldn't#since we only moved in in september and the bill is from july on#and our contract is a yearly thing so it shouldn't even be a thing. but if the two months get taken off it'll still be around 500#and no amount of budgeting will leave us with enough money to cover the entire thing#ri is pummeling headfirst into burnout so he can't work any more he shouldn't even be going to school#and i can't work i can't get any extra income for us#and it feels like we're drowning#i have never felt dread like i feel now i'm the optimistic one and i'm sobbing bc i can't see a way out#we'll figure it out we always do but things are worse than they have ever been for both of us and it's so fucking hard#i do not know what to do. i can make it work with the little we get from aid monthly. i cannot factor this into it#no amount of budgeting will make it up there is no money to pull from anywhere to cover several hundred euros extra#and we have a vet bill to pay it's only 57€ but it's due in may too on top of this#it will be okay. it has to be. it will be. i really hope it's a fluke and we don't have to pay it but#it's scaring the crap out of me there's nothing i can do to make it better#things seemed better mid month so i unpinned my donation post and now can't find it ugh
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Yandere batfamily x neglected reader
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7b40b043b0d72f2329726c50c4904955/b924959a95b0f83c-dd/s540x810/c8cd40857a82786f52626f18ff34c5b27501cc13.jpg)
The manor is cold, silent as a tomb, and for once, it feels like a fitting home. You lie still on the bed, too small and fragile in the heavy, towering room. They all gather around you, each staring in shock, faces pale, breaths shallow—as if hoping that, by holding their breath, they might somehow trade their own life to coax warmth back into your cold form.
Bruce’s hand hovers over you, hesitant. His calloused fingers, so accustomed to war and violence, seem clumsy when they brush against your cheek. He trembles, silent, fighting against the whirlwind in his chest, his stoic mask cracked beyond repair. “I promised to keep you safe,” he whispers, his voice breaking in a way none of them have ever heard before. “I promised… and I failed you.” His hand, heavy with the weight of every failure, drops to his side, useless.
Dick’s hands cover his mouth, choking on a sob that won’t stay hidden. He’s the eldest, the one who was supposed to know better, to set the example. But he looks at you now, his eyes red and raw, remembering each time he walked past you, too busy laughing with others to notice you slipping away. “Why didn’t I tell you…?” he whispers, agony etched across his face. “Why didn’t I show you that you were loved?” The words fall into the silence, lost, and he knows you’ll never hear them now.
Jason kneels beside the bed, clutching your lifeless hand in his, as if he can pull you back with sheer force. His shoulders shake, his body radiating rage, despair, regret. His lips tremble as he remembers the countless times he shrugged off your gaze, ignored the quiet plea in your eyes. He thought he was sparing you from his darkness, protecting you from the world. But now he sees it for what it was—neglect, cold and unkind. He bows his head, the unbreakable Red Hood shattered, silent tears falling onto your still fingers.
Tim stands back, his face white, hands trembling as he presses his fists to his sides. The detective, the genius, who noticed everything—except you. He let the days slip by, assuming there’d always be more time, that you’d understand he was busy, preoccupied with saving the world. But now, as he watches the life drained from you, he feels a pang in his chest sharp enough to cut through bone. “I should’ve been there,” he whispers, voice barely audible. “I should’ve been a brother to you…” He stares at you, eyes rimmed with despair, the guilt hollowing him out from within.
Damian’s usual steel has melted into something unrecognizable. He doesn’t know how to touch you, where to place his hands, and the hesitation makes him feel powerless in a way he’s never known. He’d prided himself on being stronger, colder, above such weakness—but now, faced with your absence, he finds himself wishing he’d let you in, softened just a little. “You… you weren’t supposed to…” He can’t even finish, his words broken. He reaches out, almost unwilling, to touch your hand, flinching when it’s cold. His lips press into a thin line as he tries to hold back tears, but they fall, betraying the ache he’d been too proud to acknowledge.
They stay by your side, each of them reliving every lost opportunity, every moment they could have held you close and didn’t. Days pass, blurred, and they linger in the same room, surrounded by memories of what should have been.
When Alfred brings them food, they push it away. They can’t bear the thought of comfort while you lie there, untouched by life. They whisper to you, sometimes out loud, promising things they can’t ever deliver: "We'll make it up to you…we’ll fix this." But no voice answers back.
Driven by desperation, Bruce turns to ancient books, rumors, magic, anything that offers a hint of hope. He works night after night, chasing the impossible. The others follow him, each digging into their own corners of madness, driven by the need to correct what they destroyed. But every ritual fails, every lead falls cold. And the bitter truth gnaws deeper: there is no cure for regret, no resurrection from guilt.
The night finally falls silent, and they’re left alone with you, as if the universe itself mourns. Each of them curls beside you, their heads on the bed, hands on your arm, your hand, your chest, wherever they can cling to you, trying to pretend for one last moment that you’re still there. They hold on, eyes shut, whispering prayers to a god who’s deaf to their pain.
When morning breaks, none of them rise. They stay beside you, unwilling to face a world that doesn’t have you in it. They’ve lost you, their last chance to be the family they should have been, and they know now they’ll never be whole.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7b40b043b0d72f2329726c50c4904955/b924959a95b0f83c-dd/s540x810/c8cd40857a82786f52626f18ff34c5b27501cc13.jpg)
(A/n: no one asked and I also didn't but INSPIRED BY DIS IDEA FROM @steor-ra ILY BESTFRIEND BUT PLEASE UPDATE 💜👩❤️💋👩)
#yandere batfam#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere dc#batfam x reader#yandere batman#yandere batman x reader#batfamily x reader#😻– one shot
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It's Hard to Believe | Jungkook One Shot
Summary: Getting pregnant with your best friend's baby definetly wasn't a part of the plan... Pairing: f!Reader x Jungkook (fwb, f2l) Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy a/n: This is something I started writing at like midnight and it's kinda shit but I thought I might as well post it since I haven't posted in a while (Like five days short of a month wtf?!?!? How has it been that long?!?!) (I just barely checked rn lmao my bad 🥲) p.s. I kinda wanna do a full on series on a concept like this but it'll be different and less fluffy but that won't be happening for a long ass time but yeah lol Requested by a lovely anon 💜
"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask my friend Sam for the millionth time since I found out. "Y/n just tell him. You guys have been friends for how long?" she asks and it's like I'm having deja vu from both of our responses. "Like ten years" I mumble and pull my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands in an effort to stop my nervous fiddling but it only makes it worse.
"Right and you guys have been messing around with each other for over a year now, maybe even more...I don't wanna know" she says while holding her hand up in a way to assure me that she doesn't need the details. "Just tell him. If he's as great of a guy as you keep on telling me he is then I promise everything will be okay" she says and places a hand on my shoulder before she gets up off my couch.
"Where are you going?" I ask while she shrugs on her jacket. "Didn't you say he's supposed to be here around five?" she asks and I nod my head, checking the clock and seeing that it's already 4:30.
"Yeah...are you sure you don't wanna stay and say hi?" I ask and she glares at me. "Let me know what his response is to that bun in the oven and then we'll talk. I wanna figure out if he's an asshole or not before I decide to waste anytime on him" she says while lacing up her shoes.
"Promise me you'll tell him tonight?" she asks and lifts up her hood, getting ready to shield herself from the pouring rain outside. I nod my head reluctantly, that being way more progress than I've made for the past few weeks since I found out. "I promise" I utter under my breath and she smiles, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug.
"Text me if you need me" she says, worried for what might happen but hoping for the best. "I will...thanks" I whisper and she nods her head before walking out of my door and turning slightly and waving to offer me one last farewell.
I close the door after I see her get into her car and lean my back up against it, steadying myself for a second and taking deep breaths, trying to stop my racing heartbeat before pushing off of it and tidying up before Jungkook gets here to distract myself.
Sam has been the only one I've been able to count on and honestly the only person I can trust since I haven't told anyone else. She was the one I called when I missed my period and she's the one who brought me a pregnancy test...and then when out and bought me ten more because I couldn't actually grasp the concept that I was pregnant...am pregnant.
Jungkook and I have always been careful and taken all the necessary steps to keep this from happening but I guess we got careless this time.
Through out this whole arrangement we've made it very clear to each other that we're not sleeping with anyone else but neither of us are looking for any sort of commitment either so that's why this has gone on for so long.
Like it or not though we're going to be committed to each other in one way or another no matter what because I'm keeping this baby. No matter what he says I'm keeping them.
Jungkook is my best friend, the one person who has been there for me through everything. He's seen me at all of my highest highs and especially at my lowest lows and no matter what he's never made me feel shitty about it. I know he's not the kind of guy that'll turn on you because of something like this but I can't help but still feel terrified.
This wasn't supposed to happen but even if this child wasn't made with love from his side...it was made with love from mine.
I don't know how long it's been since I fell in love with him but I know I shouldn't have said yes to this whole fuck buddy ordeal. I just couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else so when he offered up the idea I said yes.
I figured that if this was a way to prevent him from getting his heart broken by all those sorry excuses of girlfriends he's had in the past then I guess I'll be okay with breaking mine.
He's been acting different lately though. He's been a lot touchier, asking to come over more often, going out of his way to help me with things, offering to feed me all the time and all of it is making me feel like he already knows.
Does he know? Have I started showing already? I haven't really noticed a difference in my body yet but he looks at me naked a lot more often than I pay attention to myself naked so I mean I guess he could've noticed right?
Only one way to find out though...
A half an hour later I hear him take out his keys and unlock my door and soon I'm greeted with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings.
"Hi baby" he says, using that pet name he's become very fond of since this whole ordeal started. The sound of it after finding out I'm pregnant with his baby has made me a little uncomfortable though since I haven't told him yet.
Don't get me wrong I love it when he calls me that but I can't help but think that if this goes south that he won't ever call me that again.
Maybe the hormones have started to scramble my brain already because those uncomfortable feelings are quickly thrown away when I take in the sight of him after he shrugs off his rain coat. A simple black baggy hoodie and jeans engulf his form and the comfy sight just makes me want to curl up in bed with him and forget about everything and everyone.
Just him and I, it's always been him and I. I just don't know if this little one is going to change things.
I place a hand on my stomach for a second as a way to gain some strength from my itty bitty baby before finally working up the courage to greet him.
"Hi" I greet him softly, walking over to where he's stopped to take off his shoes and when he looks back up at me he smiles again and kisses me. I sigh into it, savoring it for just a little bit longer and when it finally breaks he looks down at me with concern now written all over his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks, sensing that something's off right away from the just the small change in the way I kissed him. I hesitate for a second then simply hold out my hand for him to take and he does, following behind me as I lead him over to my couch.
Getting this over with sooner rather than later is my best option right now so there's no reason to delay.
He needs to know, he deserves to know.
We sit there in silence, longer than he would like us to since I can tell how tense his body has gotten in a matter of minutes. "Y/n you're scaring me" he whispers, not wanting to pressure me but relaying his feelings.
I take a couple more deep breaths before finally starting. "I need you to listen to me and I need you to please not speak until I'm finished" I say while looking down at my lap, not being able to meet his eyes.
He murmurs a soft 'okay' and waits for me to continue, taking one of my hands and placing it in his lap. He needs some form of physical contact to keep him grounded since he's not too sure what to expect and I let him, knowing I need some reassurance too.
Even if I don't know what his reaction is gonna be, in this moment I need it more than ever.
"I guess there's really no right way to go about saying this because this wasn't supposed to happen so I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I start off and he squeezes my hand, encouraging me to keep going.
"I missed my period...over a month ago...and I haven't had it since then" I say and finally look up at him where he has an unsure expression. It's not one that's mad or disappointed with what I've said thus far which is a good thing but more like he's trying hard to hold himself back so he can keep that promise.
His hold on my hand hasn't loosened, in fact it's gotten even tighter and that gives me hope that we'll work this out so I take another deep breath before continuing.
"I tried to kid myself into thinking that it was late but when another week passed by I got nervous. I asked Sam to get me a test and it came out positive. I didn't believe it and thought it was a false positive and so to ease my mind she went a bought ten more from a bunch of different brands and...all of them came out positive" I say and he still looks at me with that same expression, waiting for me to give him the okay to speak and so I do.
"How long have you known?" are the first words out of his mouth and although they're not negative they aren't necessarily positive either. "About a month now" I say and he nods his head, taking another second or two to formulate what he's gonna say next.
"I'll support you no matter what you decide" he says and I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. "I wanna keep it" I say and he nods his head and smiles softly at first and then as the seconds go by it gets wider and wider making my heart beat faster.
"Am I allowed to get excited now?" he whispers and I can't help but chuckle as tears start to prickle my eyes and give him a nod. "You're excited?" I say, my whole being slowly overcome with emotion.
"How could I not be?" he scoffs playfully but that answer has me confused. "But Jungkook we're not together. I mean we're not in a relationship, we're just friends" I explain and there's a playful glint in his eyes after I say that that's making me even more nervous.
"You wanna know what I thought you were gonna tell me?" he offers up, slightly changing topics but I look at him in a way to urge him to continue. "I thought you were gonna break up with me" he says and I smile, "Jungkook we're not together. How could I break up with you?" I chuckle in disbelief.
"Correction, I thought you were gonna break up with me before I even got the chance to ask you to be my girlfriend" he says with a grin and my jaw drops, the dots all connecting as to why he's been acting so different lately. "You were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?" I utter quietly as if we were in a crowed room and I had a secret for just the two of us.
"I had actually planned on asking you tonight" he explains, walking over to where he had placed his backpack on the floor, taking out a bouquet of slightly squished flowers. "Sorry they're all beat up. I forgot and rode my bike over here so I didn't really have any other option but to put them in there" he says almost as if he was nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and it's then that I notice how pink his ears have gotten.
He is nervous
I take them from him and smile, waiting for him to say it but he simply stands there and admires me and I can't help but laugh. "What so funny? I told you what happened to them" he utters through pouty lips which only makes me laugh more. "No, no it's not the flowers it's just that...don't you have something to say?" I ask, calming down my chuckles and when he looks at me with the same confused expression I have to try my hardest to keep the laughter at bay.
"Do you have something you would like to ask me Jungkook" I rephrase it and after a second his lips go from a pout to the shape of an 'O' as he's figured it out. "Oh um, yeah, right. Well I um" he starts off, rubbing the back of his neck again while stuttering and trying to find the words and after struggling for a second I decide to poke fun at him again.
"Jungkook I am literally carrying your child and you're too afraid to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I laugh, giving him a slight reality check which he scoffs at before responding.
"I was trying to remember what I had rehearsed to say to you but now that you're being a little brat I guess you'll never get to know all the nice things I was gonna say" he retorts, his voice suddenly taking on a darker tone that sends a shiver through my body and he smirks when he sees my reaction to it.
He cups my face and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, making them part and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops just shy of my lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers, nudging his nose against mine and making me smile.
"I'll have to think about that" I play coy with him which he chuckles at. "You know if you weren't pregnant right now I would have thrown you over my lap for that smart mouth" he warns and I smile before leaning in and kissing him for just a second before pulling back.
"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" I say and nudge my nose against his as well and before I can register it my back is on the couch and his lips are pressed against mine, the kiss not rushed but full of so many words that have yet to be said and he gives in, not being able to hold it in anymore.
"I love you" he says, pulling back and looking down at me to see my expression which is completely dumbfounded to say the least. "You what?" I ask and he chuckles, "Is it really that hard to believe?" he points out and I guess now that I think about it it really isn't.
"I guess we've both been in love with each other for a while now huh?" I smile and his eyes light up at my round about confession. "Say it" he says, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I hadn't planned on actually saying those three words to him even though I've felt them for so long but I don't want to hold them back anymore.
"I love you" I whisper and he smiles, "Say it again" he repeats, clearly not believing it just yet. "I love you Jungkook" I say and the little switch up with attaching his name to the end darkens his gaze. "I guess there's no chance in me getting you pregnant a second time right now huh?" he asks, sliding his hand up my thigh and I giggle.
"No I think that's pretty much impossible but the odds are never zero" I say and he rolls his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I wanna hit it raw" he states the obvious while rolling his eyes. "I know I know...and the answer is yes Daddy" I tease, testing to see how that word affects him now that he knows.
He tongues his cheek at that making me bite my lip, knowing that's gonna be even more of a trigger word for him from now on. "Daddy huh? Well I guess that title is a little more fitting now isn't it?"
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part twenty-five —other parts
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/97cb8be1171aef9064bd9bd723ee54a2/a12293deb377ec57-7a/s540x810/01a4cdb3389bca2bcdbbd0f80147dd87e60012c7.jpg)
pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 4k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn’t here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival.
A hand grips your shoulder. "We'll take care of them. Keep low and find a place for all of you to hide. Do not come out until we say."
His words blur together, but you manage to act accordingly, ignoring the pit in your stomach when he disappears around the truck. The concrete is covered in glass and rusted debris, so you keep low without letting your knees touch the ground and motion for the others to follow.
The closest place is an old café, the door closed with chains but the glass window shattered enough for you to crawl through. You pull the knife from your ankle as you move everyone behind the cash register, gripping the handle tight once you lean your back against it. The café is quiet. Still. No one else is here. You steady your breath. Staring at you are the double doors to the kitchen in the back, a thick waft of mold radiating, and behind you are tipped-over chairs and tables.
The noise outside has drifted. When you take a quick peek, you don't see anyone near the truck anymore. It is as if the three of them have followed whoever was shooting.
"Twix, I—"
You look back. Blue is holding her hand out, a shard of glass thrust in her palm.
Blood oozes.
You have no supplies on you, but you carefully pinch the glass between your thumb and forefinger. She bites her lip as it wriggles free, releasing another gush of blood. As if on cue, the kitchen doors burst open with ear-splintering screeches, and three Greys surge toward you.
Blue's bloodied hand reaches for her ankle knife as one tackles you, grinding your spine into the counter's edge. Two gunshots ring out over the snarling in your face. You thrust your arm against its throat, keeping the chomping jaws at bay, and with your other hand, stab the knife into its skull three times, until it whines like a dying animal.
When you shove the corpse to the tile floor, you see the two others on the ground. Blue is pulling her knife from one skull, and Ari has a gun in his hand.
"I only have one more bullet," he pants, double-checking the barrel.
"Someone could've heard the gunshots," Nereida whispers frantically.
"Then we find somewhere else to hide. Come on." Your eyes land on a graffitied door on the side wall. It leads into an alleyway that smells putrid. You motion for Ari to give you the gun as you lead the way, sandwiched between brick walls. You can still hear rounds firing from the street. They stutter in sync with your heartbeat.
You shove a rusted crate that blocks the path. You catch sight of movement, and something scurries between your boots. Blue squeaks and grips Ari's arm, your hand tightening on the gun—but it's only a raccoon.
"There."
You spot a sizable dumpster around the corner, where the narrow alley widens enough for cars to pass behind the buildings. Nereida helps you shove off the debris on top and heave open the lid. A thick waft of rot rises, along with a buzz of fruit flies. The dumpster is half-filled with blackened garbage and charred bones, but no Greys. You don't have time to find another spot as two male voices echo from down the alley.
"I heard it over here!"
"Let's check, come on."
Shit.
You lace your fingers for Blue to step on them. "Quick, get in."
Once the kids are inside, Nereida grabs the edge and hoists herself up. You glance back, stomach coiling as two shadows approach the corner. Quickly, you close the lid after her, scatter the debris back on top, and scurry behind a nearby crate, palm sweaty around the gun.
A fevered study of the shadows reveals two healthy, fit men. One bullet. Something in the second one's gait seems slightly off. You make a split-second decision, peek over the crate, and aim for the first man's chest, doubting your ability to land a headshot.
He falls dead with a thud and then you are launching blindly at the second man with your knife, but you fail to pierce flesh when a strong grip snatches your wrist. The man's rifle skids across the ground and your back is slammed against the wall, your skull colliding with the brick hard enough to make stars dance across your vision. A muscled forearm presses into your neck, effectively cutting off your air.
"Fucking bitch."
Even through the blood rushing between your ears, the growl in your face is—familiar.
You blink up at a man swallowed by a massive burn scar.
The tip of his nose is gone, with eyelashes and scalp burnt away, revealing poorly healed ripples of flesh.
One eyelid fails to open properly, the skin too scarred.
The recognition unfurls your eyes.
He presses harder. "I know you, don't I?" Anger cuts through his gaze. "Ah. That's right—a thief and a killer. You're full of surprises, sweetheart." The curl on his burnt lips makes you flinch, but there is nowhere to go. "I guess you found new friends."
"I guess—I guess you did... too..." Short gasps leave your mouth.
"Shut up," he growls. "I don't want to hear a word from a stuck-up bitch like you who thinks her tits and her cunt are worth more than my goddam face." He is yelling now, spit flying in your eyes. "Don't you dare look away from it! What, not proud of your handiwork?" He breathes hard and looks you over with a snigger. "Finding you is just my luck. I was going to go easy the first time, but now I think I'll kill you then enjoy you. How's that sound? Your corpse being passed around? Hope your cunt is as good when you're dead—"
White-hot anger ripples through your veins and you snarl before hurling a wad of saliva in his face, using the brief distraction to drive your knee into his groin. He staggers back enough for you to escape his hold and push away from the wall.
Gulps of air feel painful down your throat. You back away, readjusting the hold on your knife while he rubs his eyes furiously.
"You're sick," you growl, voice hoarse and low.
"And you're not, princess?"
"I'm not a goddamn rapist."
"You ruined my fucking face," he retorts, stalking you down the alley. At least you are drawing him away from their hiding place—you make an unnoticed glance at the dumpster to ensure no one else has approached, relieved to see the lid unmoved. When your eyes flick back to him, a sick curl twitches on his lips. "You're not innocent here. You're damned like everyone else. That ride of yours now has a shot tire, and that boat—" he chuckles, "—what? Thought you were gonna get out of this hell? We made sure to put a hole in that, too."
His words sink in.
For a moment, horror grips you.
But you channel it through your veins as something useful—rage—and launch at him without abandon. He anticipates an attempt to stab his side again, so he blocks there, but instead, you reach for his marred face and claw the unhealed wounds, reopening them. He howls like an animal, stumbling back and cradling his cheek as blood seeps between his fingers.
"I'm going to kill you, bitch—"
He blindly reaches for the rifle on the ground but you are quick to kick it away. You jump on him, this time bringing him to the concrete, which scrapes against your exposed skin as you wrestle to come out on top. But he is stronger. Heavier. For the second time you become pinned, he tries to dig his hands into your throat. The lack of oxygen threatens to turn the world black, but you slap a hand back on his face and rip off his scarred eyelid before it can.
He roars.
You spit in his face.
Your knife—you lost it in the midst.
As blood pours from his eye, you outstretch an arm and feel for the handle.
The leather is in your palm.
You stab his side.
You shove at his shoulder to get him off.
Then you pin him down, and plunge the knife over and over into every piece of him you find. Neck, chest, cheek, shoulder.
Again and again.
A slashed jugular. Ripped arteries.
Your vision is consumed by blood. You let yourself drown in it. Hot, thick—
Arms grab you by the waist and lift you into the air.
You attempt to wriggle free and dig your knife in them, but the person is quick to disarm you.
"Twix."
A skull face stares down at you. Your bloodied fingers wrap around Ghost's shirt as you pant heavily. It's him. He's here.
"Where are they?" he shouts over the ringing in your ears.
He sets you down, gripping your shoulders to steady you. It takes a moment to gather your senses, to comprehend his words. Your hands, shirt, and face are drenched in blood. Your head throbs with weight. Slowly, the world snaps back into focus. You glance around, spotting Kyle and Price standing behind him.
"There," you finally breathe out. "The dumpster. They're...they're in there. Safe. They're safe."
His eyes flick over the length of you, perhaps to ensure all of the blood is not yours, before the three of them thrash off the debris and lift the lid to the dumpster around the corner. They help out Nereida, Ari, and Blue.
"Ghost." You try to swallow, but the pain hums with each attempt. His eyes snap to yours just as he checks over Blue. "He... They've shot a tire."
"I know. I've got a spare."
"The kayak, too. How are we—"
"We figure that out later. We need to leave." Price slings the rifle over his shoulder and grabs his wife by the arm. "Those fucks are going to be drawn straight to us now."
Blood. Right.
You push through the ache in your head and run after them back to the truck. The absence of gunfire signifies everyone else has been taken care of, but just as predicted, a chorus of moans begins to filter through the buildings. From windows, underneath cars, and benches—Greys begin to crawl out. The faster ones are quickly shot by either Kyle's handgun or Ghost's rifle. Price helps everyone into the car and slams the door shut as Ghost and Kyle continue firing.
"Wipe yourself, quick. And change inside." Price throws a rag at you. Your backpack.
You get into the passenger seat, wiping your face and hair with a splash of water from Blue's canteen, then toss the stained rag out onto the street.
You don't care if anyone can see as you slip off your shirt, throwing it out the window, and slipping on a clean one.
Outside, Price and Kyle shoot away any Greys that approach as you suspect Ghost is changing the blown out tire, because you can't see him even in the side mirror.
Within ten minutes, he flings open the door and takes seat behind the wheel. This time Price and Kyle hop in the truck bed with their guns as Ghost starts the ignition with a loud rumble, veering sharply back onto the road.
Time has been stolen. It is high afternoon, the sky a clear blue even though the streets you leave behind in Halstead are tainted red.
Now the map is in your hands, but Ghost seems to know the way from here.
"How long can the spare go for?"
"Long enough." His words are clipped. "But the kayak we need to figure out."
"It can't be fixed, can it?"
His silence is your response.
Your mind races.
Minutes blur. Behind you, Nereida quietly helps wrap Blue's hand.
Colchester whirls by without obstructions, but you keep looking out the window and squinting, paranoid. You make it to the coast within an hour. The buildings turn into colorful, seafaring cottages and the streets turn to uneven cobblestone. Seashell chimes dance in store fronts that are plastered with old signs reading KEEP OUT IF INFECTED. Ghost makes a sharp right down a narrow street and parks the truck in front of a lone, blue cottage that seems remote enough to be safe. Even if the kayak was fine, you'd have to stop for the night in order to get out on the water at the start of morning.
A flock of oystercatchers scatters as the truck doors slam open and close. The air, thick with salt and spume, is cooler here, the breeze tugging at your tangled hair, where bits of dried blood still clings. The view of the sandy shore and rocky pier would be beautiful, if your mind weren't elsewhere, if the day hadn't been marked by panic.
Ghost circles around to look at the kayak. "How bad is it?"
"Bad," Price mutters.
He helps him pull it out.
Blue and Ari sit on the steps to of the cottage's porch and listen in silence.
Nereida watches from beside you, tucking a sweater on against the chill.
Ghost flips the kayak, revealing a bullet hole that goes through one end and out the other. Anger radiates from his tense shoulders. "Christ."
"We can't patch it like we did the raft, can we?" Kyle asks, bending on his knees to look at the damage.
Price raps his knuckles against the hollow sides. "No, it's hard plastic. It would need welding to fix holes like that."
The understanding lingers in the air as you cross arms over your chest. "I'll stay behind, then," you speak up. Nails cutting your palms. You're damned like everyone else. Nereida looks at you with wide eyes, touching your arm. "If we can't fix it, then all we have is the raft and it only fits six. You guys take it in the morning and I will stay behind here—"
"No one is staying behind," Ghost grits fiercely. He gestures at the truck bed. "It doesn't even matter if we got rid of a person. The supplies have to fit, too. Even if we make it across, we're dead without the ammo and food."
Price trails his thumb over the hole in the plastic. "Two would have to stay behind in order for us to fit all the supplies." Your breath hitches as you watch him calmly stand up. "Or... two would have to swim."
"Swim?" you repeat. "You can't just swim it. I mean—it's open water."
"Nothing we haven't swam in before." Kyle leans against the side of the truck, crossing his arms. "But it's further across than the strait. Jesus, what is it? A 40, 50 kilometer swim?"
"Then we take turns," Price says. "Two of us at a time."
"I can take a turn," Nereida offers. "I used to swim in college. I mean, it can't be so bad if we go in intervals, and hold onto the raft."
You breathe deep, looking at the water that crashes upon the shore in the distance and then at Ghost, who is already staring at you. "I can take a turn, too."
"The three of us will start it off. If we need you two to cover, then you'll be ready to go. The kids stay in the raft."
You swallow. "It's not just about getting tired, we need plenty of water to drink. You can still get quickly dehydrated, and the temperature of the water—I mean, hypothermia can set in fast even it is warm."
"We load up on clean water tonight and have blankets and towels ready to go," Kyle says.
You glance back at Ghost. The rise and fall of his chest turns more steady as he nods his head in resignation.
"That's our only choice, then."
The evening is thick with silence.
No one has the energy for conversation, only exchanging brief requests or simple instructions. Starting a fire is risky even here, but you need clean water. A freshwater creek lies a few kilometers back, so Price and Ghost take the truck while the rest of you work on inflating the raft for tomorrow. Whatever happened between you and Kyle goes unspoken, both of you focused on the task at hand, taking turns pumping and checking the seams for anymore holes. When the two return, you help boil the water over a small wood-burning stove in the cottage, praying the smoke rising from the chimney isn’t too noticeable in the growing breeze as the sun sets.
The cottage is mostly bare, with only a dining table, a knocked-over chair, and a stripped bed frame in one of the rooms. The bathroom is quaint, its sea star wallpaper faded, and a warped mirror hangs above the sink. You stare at your reflection while the others lay out sleeping bags on the dusty floor, turning in early to conserve energy for the new plan to cross the channel. Ghost has taken first watch, sitting out on the porch with a rifle.
You listen to their soft murmurs outside the bathroom door as you work on getting out the rest of the blood in your hair. There is a red mark on your throat that is sore to the touch, and the back of your head still feels like someone has taken a hammer to it. Your eyes seem darker than the last time you saw them. You take another rag, wet it, and wipe it all over your skin. Then, you pad back out where the last lamp has been turned off and only moonlight through the boarded windows is left.
You slip into the empty sleeping bag next to Blue and stare at the ceiling. It is impossible to sleep—to even close your eyes for longer than a few seconds. Your heart refuses to even its pace, furiously pumping blood through your veins.
After an hour of lying still, the itch becomes intolerable. You slip silently from the sleeping bag, grab your backpack, and creep to the back door by the kitchen. It opens to a patch of overgrown grass. The cold air raises gooseflesh on your arms, but after emptying your bag, saving only the clothes, and tying it up on a branch, your blood runs hotter. Teeth gritted, you pound your fists into the makeshift punching bag, breathing hard through your nose to keep the noise to a minimum.
You hit it until your lungs burn cold, and take a pause only to grab the backpack, close your eyes, and lean your forehead against it while breathing deeply.
"I would say you can't sleep because you're excited for a swim tomorrow, but I know better."
His voice is just behind you, a rough murmur over the distant lapping sea.
You don't turn around. "I'm thrilled for it, actually."
A pause. Then, "Quite heroic of you. Offering to stay behind."
"I wasn't trying to be a hero. It just made the most sense."
You let out one last huff and then settle back into your stance, reopening your eyes to take another swing, but a hand on your wrist wretches you away. You glare up at him as he holds both of your closed fists, peering down at the raw, reddened knuckles.
You’re ready to argue—to tell him to leave you alone and let you hurt your own hands if you want to—but instead, he surprises you by letting go and stepping back. He chucks off his jacket and tosses it to the ground, unrivaled strength evident in the width of his bare, inked biceps. His feet widen, and his fists rise, silently beckoning you.
It’s been over a week since your last sparring session, but as soon as your fists are raised, the familiar rhythm takes over. He doesn’t hold back—not here, not ever. You abandon strategy, driven by the primal satisfaction of ramming your knuckles into his ribs. The adrenaline surge becomes the perfect distraction, each punch feeding your hunger for more. Your breath quickens, harsh and ragged, as you throw punch after punch. Most of your hits are deflected with effortless grace. He mirrors your every step, matching your intensity with his own.
He sweeps his leg out, sending you to your hands and knees. A growl escapes your lips as you spring back up.
He circles you like a vulture.
"I saw his face."
Cold sweat trickles down your bruised neck. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"It was burned. Well, what was left of it. You fucked him up more than necessary." He lowers his fists, eyes locking onto yours with an intense scrutiny. Your nostrils flare as you aim a swipe at his jaw, but he catches your forearm, yanking you close until your chest is pressed against his. With a firm grip on your chin, he tilts your face upward, forcing your narrowed gaze to meet his."You can't hide, Twix. Not from me."
"He was the one who almost raped me, is that what you want to hear?" You dig your free hand into his chest. "And I killed him."
The shade of his irises darkens. "You did what you had to do—what I knew you could do when I left you. You protected yourself and the others."
"I enjoyed it. I wanted to kill him, and I have never wanted that before." You swallow through your sore throat and feel a subtle tremor up your spine as the fresh images brandish your mind. "I wanted to feel his blood on my hands, and if you hadn't stopped me, I would've kept going."
"He deserved it ten times over. I would've done the same."
"And what do I deserve?"
His voice is harsh. "You deserve to cross the channel tomorrow, and keep going. It was life or death. He got death, and you got life."
"And how much longer do I get it? Until the next time people start attacking us? The next horde of Greys? Even if we make it there alive, it will never be a normal life. I can never be a normal person again. Never. I feel like...like there is something broken and rotten inside of me, a-and maybe it was always there, like you said. But only now can I truly feel it."
By the last word, your voice has quieted to a harsh whisper. You avoid the stare bearing down at you by turning your chin. You failed to realize how close your faces have become. Your gaze drifts to the arm still holding you, prominent veins trailing beneath the inked skin, and you swear you can see a pulse in them as fast as your own. Heated breaths pass between your bodies in silence before you look back up at him.
"You murdered someone, didn't you?" you breathe out. "Before shit happened. Outside of the military. Actual murder."
His jaw ticks. "Yes. I did."
The blunt admission doesn't surprise you, nor does it frighten you.
He lowers his face a bit, enough for his exhalation to leave gooseflesh across your cheeks. "Ask me if I enjoyed it. Go on."
"Did you?"
"Very much so."
You swallow hard. "I guess you haven't been normal for a long time."
"No. I guess not," he murmurs.
The air feels thick between you. He studies you intently, fingers uncomfortably tight around your wrist, when the tip of his masked nose nudges tentatively—experimentally—against yours. Your breath hitches at the top of your throat. Your fingers absentmindedly slip under the hem of his mask on their own accord, peeling it up his neck to reveal a stubbled, scarred chin and full, pink mouth.
He doesn't move to stop you.
You study the sight before you—one you didn't see so close up even when he broke his nose.
Then—the last thin thread of sanity within you snaps. With a surge of abandon, you firmly close your lips over his.
Heat instantly spreads through your mouth, through your limbs, and down to your socked toes. It is enough to flood you with the raw need to taste more of it. Your hands lower to twist tightly in the fabric of his shirt, drawing him closer, and for a moment, those warm lips move slowly against yours. Then, he firmly presses on your shoulder and breaks away with a thin thread of saliva joining your mouths.
"Ghost." You pant raggedly, eyes darting across his face. Humiliation is ready to sink in at his rejection, but he growls under his breath and kisses you again—harder this time, drawing you in with a hand to your jaw.
It quickly turns into a clumsy, greedy mess of clanking teeth. One of your hands curls around the short hair at the nape of his neck. It is difficult to comprehend that it is his tongue, hot and demanding at the seam of your mouth, pushing in once you part it open. It is his hand moving from your jaw to your hair, fisting it to the point of pain, while his other grips your hip and backs you into the tree.
Your spine presses roughly against the bark. The heat and solidity of his chest against your breasts makes your mind go numb. You can't think about anything, not the day behind you or the one ahead, only feel. Blood courses through your veins with the same heat as when you fight him, but instead of growling in anger, you release a throaty sound of desperation, moving your hands to the backs of his shoulders and digging your nails into the flexed muscle. It encourages him to grind his hips against yours with a low groan, striking an unfamiliar wave of warmth between your legs.
You try to recreate the satisfying friction, greedily bucking into him, but it's difficult with the standing position. The mess of emotions inside you is impossible to sift through, but one certainty stands out: you need more of this, whatever it is.
You attempt to lift your legs and lock your ankles around him, biting his lip as a demand for him to help you, but his hand suddenly releases its hold on your hip and he rips away from your mouth, breathing hard through his bitten lips.
"That's enough," he says roughly, stepping away.
What?
It doesn't feel like even close to enough.
Before you can reach for him, he gives you his back and leaves you there, trying to regain your breath.
#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost#simon ghost riley#cod#zombie apocolypse au
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hiiiiiiiii mae <3 i have an idea for thawing out series. what about if reader has a 'moment' w one of them and the other boy gets slightly cranky bc of it but then is also confused bc he doesn't know if he wants r or the other boy.........and then EPIPHANY 😈
Thanks for your request! The mood of it got altered some but I hope you like it :)
collab with @ellecdc
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16
cw: modern au, chronic pain, some hurt w/o comfort but dw we'll fix it down the line
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 2.6k words
“Pads!” Remus shouts across the ice. “Focus!”
Sirius’ cheeks pinken slightly as he tears his stare away from the Russian soloist practicing her quads. You laugh and say something to him that makes him pinch your waist meanly, as if you’ve been acting any better.
You and Sirius are completely starstruck. Remus wants to be irritated at your distractibility, but it’s sort of adorable. You nearly fall on your bum watching the Austrian team run drills, Sirius is too busy eye-flirting with a Swedish skater to remember he’s supposed to be going into a turn, and you both stop your routine entirely when the Canadian duo steps out onto the ice.
You and Sirius draw plenty of stares yourselves, though naturally only Sirius appears to notice. He shoots a wink at a skater admiring him and a glare at another looking too closely at you, his hand possessively on your lower back anytime you’re not running your routine.
Altogether it means you have to spend a couple of extra hours learning to work through this specific brand of stage fright and running your drills again after you all get your heads turned multiple times, but Remus lets it slide. He remembers being just as dazzled during his first Olympics, seventeen years old and feeling like he’d somehow snuck into the hall of fame, an imposter among legends.
Part of him hopes that the embarrassment of having to do a half-ass death spiral in front of so many professionals will make Sirius finally go all the way, but no such luck. He keeps you firmly above where you ought to be, expression impassive even as Remus can see you pleading with him with your eyes. Still, the rest of the routine goes well, and Remus tries not to let it get under his skin. He hopes you’re right and Sirius really will pull through in the final hour; your faith in your partner is absolute, and Remus finds it easy to put his faith in you.
He lets you loose to spend the afternoon as you’d like, but it comes as no surprise when he sees you both on the ice again. Remus knows you’ve likely got plenty of nerves to work off. It’s one thing to compete in your home country, another entirely to represent your home country while competing amongst the best figure skaters in the world. He calls you off the ice before one of you can overexert yourselves and pull something. Sirius swears up and down that his ankle hasn’t bothered him since the day after he hurt it, and Remus hasn’t seen anything to make him suspect differently, but he knows better than to take risks with a healing injury. You spend the rest of the afternoon playing cards and gambling for candies in Sirius’ room.
Eventually you disperse to go to bed. Remus’ hip has been bothering him since the flight the previous day, so he goes on a walk to stretch it out. It’s odd, he thinks, how easy things have come to feel between the three of you. When he first arrived, Remus had every intention of setting up strict professional boundaries, of knowing you only as your coach and seeing you only during practice times. And then you started practicing together, and it seemed like his boundaries wouldn’t even be necessary. Sirius hated him, and besides that the two of you existed in a bubble no one could penetrate, intimate and trusting only each other. Now, after learning about what your former coach did to you, Remus understands why that was necessary. You were protecting each other, safeguarding your partnership and your careers. It would have made sense for you to keep Remus at more than an arm’s length, taking his coaching with grains of salt and keeping him well away from your private lives.
But then there have been days like today. Still bickering with Sirius, still watching the two of you interact with a familiarity only years of history can grant, but feeling warm and welcome despite it all. It feels easy, to tease Sirius and let him snipe back. To let you lean your shoulder into his and not move away. It feels good.
Remus’ hip is feeling fairly good too by the time he gets back, sore from the exercise but not so stiff. As he makes his way to his room, passing Sirius’ and then yours on the way, he sees light sneaking through the crack underneath your door.
He frowns. It’s late, and you’re meant to practice again early tomorrow morning, your last day of practice before you compete. You should be well rested. As he approaches your door, he hears sound coming from inside. Low, crackling voices, and a song that tugs at the fringes of his memory. Then a sound he knows too well, the shushing of skates on ice.
Remus knocks. The door is thin enough that he hears your little gasp and a quiet snap, and when you say “come in,” it sounds like a question.
He suppresses a smile, opening your door cautiously in case you didn’t really mean it.
You’re sitting on your bed, one hand atop your shut laptop. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he says, leaning against the doorway. “It’s late.”
“I know.” You look almost shy. Between that and the pajamas you have on, plaid little shorts and a bulky sweatshirt, Remus has the urge to pinch your chin between his fingers. “Sorry, I was just watching some, um…”
“Figure skating videos.” Your lips part, and he says, “I could hear them from outside.”
“Oh.” You laugh. It’s a nice sound, one Remus can happily say he’s come to know well, but this one is woven through with nerves. “That’s embarrassing.”
“Why is it embarrassing?” he asks honestly. “It’s normal to want to study your competition. And they’re fun, I still watch them all of the time.”
“It’s not…” You give him a tentative look, then scoot over on your bed. “Do you want to see?”
Remus can’t imagine you’re watching anything he hasn’t seen a million times, but he is curious which are your favorites. He’s careful to sit on top of your covers, a few inches between your leg and his. The bed doesn’t allow for anything more.
“Fuck, did they really have to go back to making them out of cardboard?”
That gets another nervous laugh out of you as you open your laptop screen, playing the video. And Remus knows then where he’s heard the music before. It’s his music. You’re watching his old routine, a niche one from a small competition back in Wales. Remus was fourteen when this was filmed.
He glances at you, and you’re watching the video with your bottom lip trapped between your teeth, the colors of the screen dancing across your eyes.
“I’ve always admired how tight your form was,” you say. “You were so young, but it was obvious you were putting the work in.”
“I practiced a lot,” Remus agrees. “Too much, really.”
The nostalgia he feels for figure skating is bittersweet when he watches videos like this. He remembers spending all his time in the rink, every hour he wasn’t in school or at home, nothing spared for friends or hobbies. He did love it, but in loving it he forgot to build a life outside of it. Life was constant motion, training and competitions and awards whirling around him like the rink during a spin; by the time he had his accident anyone that might have been his friend had their own friends, and Remus realized he may have been lonely for years.
“I’m really glad you agreed to coach us.” You’re still watching the video, young Remus doing a camel spin. “You’ve made us a lot better, both of us. I know Sirius is going to end up fixing the spiral, and I’m going to try my best, and…I really hope we can make you proud.”
“You will,” Remus says, instead of you already do. It feels wrong to take any credit for how incredible you are, either one of you, but that is what he feels when he sees you out on the ice. Proud. He looks at you carefully. “You’ve seemed wound pretty tightly lately.”
Your eyes drop, no longer looking at young Remus but not at the older one either.
“It’s alright to be nervous,” he says gently, “so long as you know that you deserve to be here. You’re going to do great.”
You rub your lips together. “Were you nervous during your Olympics? Is it okay for you to talk about?”
“Yeah,” Remus says, a bit surprised, “it’s fine. I was nervous. I was…” he chuckles “I was freaking out, honestly. But when I got out there, it was really just like any rink. The music and the routine were the same, so I just let myself get lost in it. I almost forgot where I was until it was over, and people were waving flags at me and all that from the stands.” He feels his lips curve with the memory. Bumps your shoulder lightly with his. “It’s not so bad. Anyway, I think it’s got to be better to go through it with someone else. I was on my own, but you’ll have Sirius with you.”
You give him a little sideways smile. “And you, right?”
A fond warmth blooms in Remus’ chest. “And me.”
“Has it been difficult for you to coach us?” you ask him tentatively. “I mean, to come back?”
Remus takes a deep breath. “Yeah,” he says after a minute. “At first, it really was. I’m not proud of it, and I don’t think I really knew it at the time, but I was jealous of both of you. Anytime you did something differently than I would have, I got so frustrated that you were throwing away these opportunities I would kill to have again. It was easy to look at either one of you and wish I was in your place.”
You’re nodding, not a trace of hurt or offense in your expression. You look at him like you understand.
“But that stopped a long time ago,” he says. “After I worked with you for longer, it became clear you’re both very different skaters than I was.” You huff a laugh, and Remus nudges your shoulder admonishingly. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think early on I wasn’t a very good coach to you because I couldn’t see your individual strengths. But now I think I can, and it’s really a privilege to watch you skate together. It’s lovely. And I’ve loved getting to know you and Sirius, too. So, yeah, it was difficult at first, but I’m really glad I came on. And I’m glad you were patient enough to let me stay.”
That got a bit more earnest than he intended. Remus feels heat rise to his face, but you’re still nodding, thoughtful, like you’re trying to wrap your head around it. He sees you rub your lips together again.
“I really want to do well,” you say softly, “but I’m not the skater Sirius is. I don’t have his natural talent, and I don’t flourish under pressure the way he does. I—that’s usually when I mess up.” Remus’ chest aches at the vulnerability in your voice, his hand moving unconsciously to cover yours on the bed. Some of the tension goes out of you at the touch. “I’ve tried my whole life to keep up with him, but I’m never quite there, and you guys, you’ve both been these incredible, talented skaters…” Your eyes meet his, timid and ashamed. “I’m afraid I’m going to let you both down.”
“Are you kidding?” You drop your gaze, and a surprised little laugh trips off Remus’ tongue as he ducks his head to follow, holding your hand more securely. “I’m sorry, that was rash, but really. How can you think that? You’re one of the most talented skaters I’ve ever seen.”
You’re still avoiding his gaze. He takes your chin in his hand, gentle, an encouragement more than anything, but you let him turn you towards him.
“I don’t care how much of it comes from natural aptitude,” he says firmly. “You’re an incredible skater. Even when I didn’t know you at all, it was obvious that you care about this more than Sirius or I likely ever have. That’s important. You can see it in how hard you train, and in how you move on the ice.” Remus shakes his head, expelling a breath. “It’s mesmerizing. You’re beautiful to watch.”
You’re not shying away from him now, but Remus doesn’t let go of you. Your expression is wide open, diffident but curious. He goes on.
“The way you skate, it’s not just about the motions or the art of it, it’s joyous. Anyone can see how happy you are out there. That’s what makes you so good. You really love it.”
“You did, too,” you murmur.
His voice softens in kind. “I did. But not the way you do.”
Your eyes lower, but this time he allows you it. Remus is suddenly acutely aware of your leg where it's pressed up against his, of his own heartbeat. He’s still holding your hand.
You wet your lips. “Do you really mean all that?”
“Why would I give you a whole speech I didn’t believe?”
You crack a smile. “Some coaches call it a pep talk.”
“You’re beautiful to watch,” he says again, voice dropping to a murmur as he realizes you’re staring at his lips. He breathes in, and the distance between you lessens. “You’re beautiful.”
Remus knows he’s judged you rightly when your hand comes around his waist, pressing into the softness of his jumper to glean an impression of the skin underneath. You kiss like you skate, with a sweet eagerness, ready to explore and wanting to learn. Your lips part, inspiring a similar parting in Remus, and you let out a breath with a soft humming sound.
Remus' nerves are alight underneath your hand on his side. He angles his torso to get you closer, free hand coasting up your thigh. Your fingers bunch in his jumper, kisses picking up heat as he lets his hand settle at the small of your back, an echo of how Sirius touched you this morning when—
Sirius.
Remus draws away from you so suddenly he hears you gasp. He still has your face in his hand, can feel the flustered warmth of it before he removes that too, putting distance between you.
“Sorry.” His voice is hoarse. Guilt burns in the back of his throat. “Sorry, it’s not you. I just, I—”
Sirius. Sirius. Sirius.
“I didn’t think that through.” He can feel his heartbeat in his mouth. Sirius is in love with you. Remus is only just starting to feel like a part of your team, but this could send you all back in time. Kissing one of his skaters, who the other is in love with? His stomach hurts. “I’m your coach, and you—we have a big competition coming up. I shouldn’t have done that.”
He edges off your bed, looking at you while he does. Your lips are still parted, eyes wide.
“It was a really shit idea,” he says, “and I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.”
You rub your lips together. Remus feels it like you’re still moving them against his own. “It’s fine,” you say on a breath. “We can forget it.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says again.
“It’s okay.” You’re shaking your head, and he’s backing away, both of you like deer caught in headlights. “You’re right, it was silly. We’re professionals, we can get past it.”
Remus feels himself nodding, feels the handle of your door in his hand.
“Practice in the morning?” you ask weakly.
He pushes out a breath as he opens the door. “Yeah. Six thirty.”
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If You Were My Little Girl II
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: Things are looking up
Alexia watches from the stands.
They're mostly empty, like almost all Barcelona B matches.
Women's football has only really started picking up steam recently but only at the top flight. The lower level leagues are still having a bit of a popularity issue.
But Alexia, for once, finds that she doesn't mind.
Because it means she can sit practically alone in the stands as she watches the home match.
A notepad sits on her lap, a pen tapping against the pages thoughtfully as she watches.
Barcelona B are good and Alexia has never expected anything different. She's seen the system at work many times as La Masia churns out players like Aitana and Pina and Jana, and more recently Vicky and Martina.
There's a reason so many clubs wants La Masia products.
They're all good players but even now, Alexia can tell a great player when she sees one.
You rise up among the crowd in the box and slam the ball into the goal, the net rippling with the force of the shot.
The best part, Alexia thinks, is that you didn't even need a moment to control the ball, hitting it in on the volley and grinning as your teammates practically dogpile you.
A hattrick in ten minutes is impressive in any league and Alexia makes another note in her notebook, humming softly to herself.
She rises out of her seat at the end of the match, disappearing into the building and out the doors.
It takes another half an hour for you to appear again, hair damp and an old crew neck sweater that Alexia's pretty sure is Alba's being tugged over your head.
You slip into the passenger seat, throwing your bag into the backseat and Alexia pulls your head down to press a kiss against the side of it.
You smile shyly at her as she offers up the fries she'd bought for a job well done.
"You did good, kid," She says," Very impressive."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. But I think we're going to work on evading slide tackles next," Alexia says as she drives off," We're trying to keep those ankles of yours intact, alright? I'm going to need them this season."
You roll your eyes and Alexia clicks her tongue.
"Don't roll your eyes at me," She says," I've got a good feeling about that meeting later in the week. A great feeling, actually. You should have one too."
"I'm managing expectations."
Alexia looks at you fondly. "Well, we'll see which one of us is right in a few days."
She lets you choose the music in the car, like she always does when you've scored a goal and you pull up to the apartment a lot quicker than you want to seeing as you're in the middle of singing along to your favourite song but, still, you drag yourself out of the car and up the stairs.
"How was the match?" Olga asks as she greets Alexia with a kiss on the lips.
"She did very well," Alexia brags," A hattrick within the first ten minutes and another goal in injury time."
"Exciting," Olga says indulgently as Alexia grins, already giving her running commentary of everything that happened during the match.
You escape though, hurrying to raid the cupboards before Alexia finally comes to her senses and tries to stop you 'spoiling' your dinner.
You don't know if there's any way to thank Alexia for what she's done for you.
Just three months ago, you were convinced that you were going to quit. You had no passion for the game, no hope of what your future was going to be but now all of that had changed.
You had direction. You had a manager. You had new boots and a place to live that wasn't a group home and support and love and everything seemed to be coming together for you.
A toe pokes you in the leg.
"Move."
"Alexia says that if you're trying to nap on her sofa again then I don't have to move," You tell Alba, who huffs and pokes you with her toe again," She also says that you have your own apartment and should stop mooching of us."
"But Olga's a better cook than me," Alba complains and you roll your eyes.
"Aren't you an adult? Even I can cook."
"Yeah but it's not like you could mooch off your sist-"
Alba falls silent quickly and you pretend to not notice what she was going to say for both hers and your own sakes.
The topic of your sister is kind of off limits when you're in the room. It's not completely banned because Alexia's still Jenni's national teammate but she's not really spoken about if you're in the room.
Alba's face flashes with terror for a moment so you pretend you don't notice her slip up ever though it sends a bolt of lightning into your stomach, a deep pit forming there.
It works for the most part, everyone in the house pretending Jenni isn't who she is to you, pretending that she's just Alexia's teammate and not her friend and ex, pretending that Alexia fostering you isn't her walking on a tight rope because Jenni doesn't know.
All Jenni knows is that you didn't quit when she told you to.
Jenni doesn't know that you live with Alexia. Jenni doesn't know anything. You doubt she even thinks about you when she's got a life far away in Mexico.
She lives there, far away from you and your life here in Barcelona.
She lives there and her presence is hardly ever mentioned around you.
Life is good at Alexia and Olga's house. Life is even good at training, though you could do without the smug little smirk Alexia has on her face when she picks you up.
"You already knew!" You accuse her, waving a finger in her face.
"Knew?" She asks, lips curl up in what can only be described as pure smugness," Knew what?"
"Right, who told you? Go on. Who was it?"
Alexia grins. "You do realise I am the captain? Any time they're looking to bring someone in, they ask me my opinion."
You roll your eyes. "Yeah and I'm sure you gave it."
"You're a good player. A great player," Alexia says," All I did was tell them what they already know."
You look down at your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. You want to be mad at her, to yell at her for keeping this from you. Maybe even yell at her for promising to the staff something you're not but you know she hasn't done that.
If she thought you weren't ready, she would have told them that.
But Alexia didn't. She didn't tell them to let you have a bit more time with the B team. She didn't tell them that you don't quite have what it takes.
"Thanks."
Alexia smiles at you as she drives home, a comfortable silence enveloping you both until your hand is on the door handle.
You stop.
"When I open this door, there's going to be a party, isn't there?"
"I may have told Olga...who told Mami...who told Alba...who told the rest of the family..."
"Is that a yes?"
"Possibly..."
"And there's no getting out of this?"
Alexia ruffles your hair, a soft kiss being pressed to the side of your head. "They're here to celebrate you."
You suck in a breath, just ready to turn the handle when the sound of the lift doors opening chimes down the corridor.
Both you and Alexia turn your heads towards.
It's just a fleeting second.
Just a moment.
But your good mood plummets as the door opens.
Alexia's hand tightens on your shoulder, pushing you slightly behind her and putting herself between you and the elevator.
Between you and Jenni.
#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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