#i hope at least someone answer this

[seiwas]

sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe

so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?

:3c

heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3

contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars

deku + light

izuku only sleeps with the lights off.

it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.

you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.

he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.

and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.

the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.

he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.

"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"

he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.

"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."

you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."

"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.

you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.

sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.

on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.

you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.

"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.

"hm?" he clarifies.

"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"

his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.

"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"

"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.

finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—

you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.

—what was hard, was figuring out why.

at first, you suspected it was his scars.

"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."

you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.

when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.

it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.

you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.

he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.

there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.

“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.

he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.

“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.

“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”

“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.

you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.

“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.

it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.

he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."

"it's not."

you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.

"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."

[puppetmaster13u]

<- A/B/O Anon

HI- *coughs* well, they aren’t exactly headcanons, just ideas I have that I wanna chat about.

I’m on a big Omega!Bruce kick so here they are. (these can or can’t be connected but I do love the idea of them being connected)

1. Brucie Wayne is a known Omega, one that flits from date to date. The thing is, Batman is known as an omega too. This time he’s the embodiment of an Omegan Mom protecting their nest Territory from all threats. Like Omegas used to do in the Olden Times™️, feral behavior and scenting is common >:3

2. A/B/O Dynamics don’t actually exist outside Gotham. Sure, some Gothamites have moved out so A/B/O is known, but isn’t seen outside Gothamites.

So when Dick Grayson came to Gotham he was very confused and didn’t really understand what was going on.

When Bruce eventually scoops him up and brings him home, Dick is even more confused. Atleast in Juvie the A/B/O behaviors were stifled except for posturing, but now outside of Juvie? In the home of an Omega? He’s gonna get the full brunt of Bruce both fussing over him and trying his best to not cross the line of Bruce being his Pack Guardian and not Pack Omega. (Either way, for Dick it’s very much smothering)

It doesn’t click for Bruce or Alfred until Bruce comes sulking to Alfred about his pup being broken and not even accepting being scented! Doesn’t Dick want to feel safe??? No one’s going to touch Dick if he’s smothered in Wayne Scent!!! (Maybe eventually Dick gets startled when he starts to instinctively responding as a pup would/is able to smell scents/feel pack bonds)

3. When Jason gets tossed into the Lazarus pit, it actually repairs his pack bonds. Sure, it’s not perfect, Jason can’t actually reach out through the bonds to respond- but he can feel his Pack’s love, not to mention their desperation to get him back as soon as they realize Jay’s bonds are back. (Talia, meanwhile, is still trying to convince Jay that Bruce doesn’t love him and how he replaced him, but that doesn’t quite work as Jason can feel his Pack’s love- not to mention the absolute adoration coming from the newest, weakest, and youngest link in the pack)

4. And finally four- One of the Robins vanish from the Teen Titans for quite a bit- and when they come back, they’re questioned on where they went. Robin sighs and just says Batman was being broody again, and the Teen Titans just think that Batman was brooding.

In actuality, the Robin had to deal with Bruce being broody in the chicken sense. AKA, “You Are My Child And I Will Keep You In My Nest And Focus Entirely On You And Your Well-being. ..What do you mean taking care of myself? I have to take care of my PUP!”

I absolutely adore all of this. Love the idea of it being a Gotham thing because Gotham is just Like That. Like there's so many curses and magic and who knows how many chemicals that they're like, still human but also just built different.

Gosh, if heats are a thing I like to think they're more platonic. Just, fussing over pack members and being the Broodiest Thing Ever with every family member and will get Upset if one tries to leave the Nest where they are Safe and can be Taken Care Of.

Pfft, the poor Justice League are not prepared for Batman to get broody on a mission and force them all to take care of themselves with no context. They're not his pack, but well, they have fought together and they're sort-of friends, depending on the timeline.

Poor Damian is going to get smothered, Bruce is going to get Very broody the moment Jason returns, and with Another Pup. Tim & Dick get yoinked back from the Titans Tower to be smothered and snuggled and absolutely covered in the family's scent.

Absolutely love the idea of them learning how to be a pup and pack together and am vibrating in utter glee at all of this.

[ganondoodle]

rough draft for chapter 2 of my zelda comic has finally been COMPLETED! current page count is 68, but that can change as im going through, cutting and redoing panels and all

i will start (trying) to render the first pages soon (its been so long ...)

[becca-e-barnes]

Hiii I have nothing to do at work so of course I have to day dream about different dark!Bucky scenarios (I do not condone cheating but this is really hot to me aaaa)😩 like imagine your husband and Bucky have always had an ongoing rivalry, They worked together, went to college together, hated every ounce of each other. One night you’re at the bar with your friends when Bucky comes over to you and buys you drink after drink after drink, taking you back to his house. He’s throwing you on his bed and ripping your clothes off, kissing you hungrily. “Get ready baby, this is gonna be much tougher than you’re used to.” “Please.” “Yeah? Is he not satisfying you baby? This pretty pussy deserves to be treated right, luckily I’m here now.” He’s so rough with you, fucking you harshly, the dirty talking is driving you crazy. He’s so cocky and cruel, bending you in several different positions and pounding into you for hours. If only you had seen the camera… (part 2??? Bucky making your husband watch the video 😭) -💒

This, a thousand times over 😵‍💫 and I can just imagine throwing all the stuff at him that you wouldn't dream of doing with your husband. Maybe your husband really doesn't let you explore your fantasies and if you've got one chance to do that, you're determined to take it.

Especially if Bucky is quite a bit rougher than you're used to while still being so respectful. He got the impression that you're not being fucked how you want to be and he wants to give you everything you dream of when you touch yourself. He's not necessarily rough with you because he wants to be. He's rough because that's what you want.

If he's feeling extra filthy too, he'd fuck you in the bed you share with your husband. You're on your hands and knees on the bed, presenting your glistening pussy to him, enjoying the sensation of him smearing your arousal over the tip of his cock.

"Fuck, do you know how bad I want this?" He hums quietly, trailing his leaking tip over your slick folds. "Do you know how badly I want to press inside you? You've made such a mess. Bet you feel like fuckin' Heaven and he doesn't even appreciate it."

With his free hand, Bucky grabs a handful of your ass, squeezing just enough that you feel it hurt.

"Don't want to rush this though." His tip lines up with your entrance, teasing the little fluttering hole and God, you're desperate. "I want to take my time. Want to make sure every time your head hits this pillow, you remember how it feels to have every. Last. Inch of me slip inside you."

You can't have him wait any longer though so you press your hips back onto him, feeling just the tip slide into you. "Good girl, that's it. Fuck yourself on me. You need this, don't you? You need to be fucked right for a change."

He's not wrong. You couldn't stop now, even if you wanted to so you keep going, taking all of him. The weight of him inside you is delightful.

"Oh God, you're perfect. You feel like you were made for me." He doesn't dare move. Instead, he takes a second to just enjoy the wet heat of your body and the snug fit of you around his cock.

"You are. A fucking. Dream." He tests the water with a few shallow thrusts, rutting his tip against the sweet spot inside you. You're so wet, you're convinced you must be dripping onto the sheets and your eyes roll back in your head at the very thought.

This is how sex is supposed to feel. You didn't think you could crave anyone the way you do now. "Buck, please." You whimper, rolling your hips back against him, pressing him as deep inside you as possible. "Don't be gentle."

You hear him groan and feel his fingertips trail down your spine, making you arch your back into the bed. "Is that what you need, sweetheart? Can tell just by looking at you that you need it hard and fast and rough tonight. I'll be gentle with you tomorrow morning, I promise. Gotta work some of that tension out of you first. Bet you haven't cum in months."

You don't like that he can tell so easily but you're not surprised either. The first sharp thrust knocks the air from your lungs but all you hear is a pathetic sob, followed by the crack of a hard spank to your ass and the blossoming, stinging pain he's inflicted.

You're not surprised that it only makes you wetter.

[theendorisit]

Welp, Q&A questions for Season 1 The Magnus Protocol have opened, apologies to @rq-producerperson @rqbossman @jonnywaistcoat and any poor souls at Rusty Quill who have to sift through all of our utter madness...

[skankhunt44]

Yeah I'm a fucking dick,

But this dick isn't supporting terrorism and isn't sympathetic for people who want to ethnically cleanse the middle East funded by the UN?

Lol yes, Karen, you're totally on the right side of history here, you're quoting antisemetic tropes from both the Nazis and the KKK handbooks, and openly calling for ethnically cleansing Jews from Israel which they call "isn't real" or whatever but it's named over 100 times in the Quran, and I've read the xtian bible it's mentioned probably twice that at least. But it isn't real. Sorry it's hard not to laugh at that logic.

Glad we had this chat.

[triglycercule]

So i've seen a lot people state that due to horror's circumstances surrounding his eye and the *cough* forced *cough* removal of it, its basically turned him into a zombie as he can no longer die to phyiscal attacks and if he were to be harmed, he be KO for a bit before gettingg up and continuing like nothing had happened. Do you have any clue where I could find the origin of this because I REALLY don't know if its been a rumor spread across the fandom or its been started ofifically by sourapple somewhere and I can't find it.

(btw I love you headcannons their so great)

hello!!!! thank you 4 the ask :333 alright lets get into it ‼️

from what i've seen of my scouring of horrortale content there isn't exactly a DIRECT confirmation of SAS being like "oh btw horror's immortal lul". i think that the horror's immortal unless the eye is destroyed thing came from the scene where horror's eye is put into the core to power it and then he comes back to life. one of the royal guards literally says that the eye is keeping him alive!!!! so the train of thought probably went off 4 some people that "hey since horror's eye literally REVIVED him from the dead and he's still alive doesn't that mean that as long as the eye is intact he'll stay alive?"

however just because the eye is keeping him alive doesn't mean that he can't take damage, we dont know that because nobody has actually attempted to attack horror b4!!! actually there WAS the one scene where horror paps bashed him over the head 4 a stick (the only person we've seen attack current day horror is paps 😭😭😭) BUT it wasn't like a total OH CRAP HE'S BLEEDING AND DEAD type thing (didn't pierce through his body either it was a blunt hit) like we saw right before horror got reanimated. it was probably just a bit of a headache thing,,,,

BUT ALSO just because we've never seen him get hit HARD on screen before like he did back @ the core, he is the only ht character to be able to sustain himself and deal with the chronic pain of starvation for SEVEN YEARS (snowdin has humans, toriel probably finds her own unique way, & everywhere else past snowdin it's just monster on monster cannibalism left and right) so he probably has some sort of increased defense to damage to be able to deal with that likely because the of eye since aside from it there's not much else seperating him from the normal horrortale monster (which are seen dying just a couple of months in)

personally i dont think he would be fully immortal because just. how would that work??? it's not like the core has the power to jumpstart his life a second time since he literally destroyed it???? and even if the core wasn't obliterated it would be the one TAKING power and energy from horror, not the other way around which could feasibly revive him (in my eyes),,,,, maybe it's something comparable to how boss monsters' souls survive a few seconds after they dust away but with horror's eye instead and by putting it in the suspended state necessary to power the core that achieved some sort of "temporary (permanent?) in between dusting" state 4 horror,,,,,

SO BASICALLY!!! it hasnt been OFFICIALLY stated by SAS that horror is 100% immortal, but he does seem to have some sort of increased defense to be able to deal w hunger pains & a hit from paps that would probably kill him if he still had his 1 HP from prior to the core incident. we dont know for sure if he's actually immortal immortal since horror's only been shown to take a fatal hit once and that was when his eye was put into the core, so it mightve just been a one off thing and if he takes another fatal hit, he would actually die. we'd never really know until we see horror get into a fight and get hit HARD! basically it's just a fanon theory that's supported by a LOT of canon material

[wildstar25]

What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?

(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)

Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:

[theodora14pines]

not seen you post about it. So what is T-H30's backstory or lore? if they have any ofcourse.

their name and namedropping of Hedo in the first post tagged with them I assume they're an android of some flavour

Long response to this one and lore drop so heads up!

Theodora Cellamoun is pretty much my base OC for any universe, since she ended up being a dimension traveler at a very young age. (Gravity Falls reference because that's what started me to do any of this in the first place and don't really want to forget my origins)

Each variant of this OC goes through similar events up to a certain point:

- The loss of her house and family from a young age and having to manage on her own.

- ending up in Gravity Falls and meeting up Stanford Pines and being her little assistant but also more since Ford enjoyed her presence and curiosity and wanted to teach her so she homeschooled her the best he could. (She ended up in that town around the age of 10)

- skipping to the age of 14 when on one faithful night, Cipher took over Ford's body, things seemed eerie around that time, the portal project was complete and Theo got too curious and ended up being beaten up to death by her possessed father figure and thrown into the interdimensional vortex.

- 4 years of dimension traveling on her own and having to learn how to adapt and survive through any means necessary. (There's also and AU regarding Theo in the DB universe that is different from her usual storyline but that's just because of a decision she took, but we'll talk about Never Left AU another time)

- age 18, she finally reunites with Stanford but he's much older. For her it was only 4 years, while for Ford it was 24 years and still counting as fugitives, outlaws and keeping up dimension hopping.

- 6 years later the two return to Gravity Falls, Ford acts pissy on Stanley because he tried to get his brother back, she doesn't comment anything and just listens and watches and is immediately rather pleasantly impressed by the twins.

- takes part in some cannon events of that universe but her presence doesn't affect the course of the events and they all go smoothly (even if unpleasant like the Weirdmagedon)

- post Weirdmagedon and twins leaving Gravity Falls, Theo at the age of 24 is left with uncertainty in her heart, since she feels like after all this time she no longer belongs there and thus embarcs on a journey of her own volition and continues to dimension travel on her own.

- as fun as the journey is, she still fights with that feeling of unfulfillment and emptiness and doesn't fully comprehend it.

- ends up in the Dragon Ball universe and heard the rumors of some wishing orbs that can grant you any wish, and that seemed like a fine promising idea.

- tries to steall the dragon balls from Bulma (because obviously she collected them all and that's where they all ended up) and was successful, however Goku and Vegeta chased after her, until they finally found her trying to figure out how to activate the dragon balls. Vegeta recognized Theo (they met in the past and it wasn't pretty for either of them), and warned Kakarot, but Goku used his charisma and diplomacy and ended up befriending her after finding out that she just wanted to wish for something to make her happy, but didn't really know what.

- because of Goku and Bulma being rather impressed with her skills, she ends up in the FighterZ inner circle and works at capsule Corp along with Bulma on all sorts of projects.

- Bulma and Theo would work on a very ambitious project, that will end up disastrously, since Bulma got away almost unscathed and Theo pretty much died in the process and saving Bulma from having a similar fate.

- because the dragon balls have been used at the time, and Bulma felt partially guilty about what happened, she decided to "fix her up", thus Theo's corpse being used in order for her to be reborn as T-H30.

- T-H30 has some attributes that Gero's previous creation have and even more, but even so T-H30 is still an experimental somewhat unstable prototype that needs to be under surveillance and tested periodically in order to make sure everything is in check.

At the time I wasn't sure where to place Theo/T-H30 and I thought at the time that Bulma and Hedo working together to save a life was a nice idea, but then I remembered that Trunks and Goten were teenagers at the time and the attribution of T-H30 being their babysitter wouldn't fit so instead I decided to place T-H30 somewhere, perhaps after Resurrection F. The idea of Hedo having an android lab assistant is still something I want to keep in mind and I think the two would get along nicely.

So yeah, T-H30 was still a work in progress and she still is, but at least now I have set some more things about her. Sorry that this ask was long but I wanted to explain as best and briefly as I could.

Anyways, this is basically the OC's evolution up to the T-H30 point. Enjoy!

[skeletalheartattack]

I was scrolling through some of your posts and I saw the one about gender nullification and it made me feel so much better to know that not only was it achievable but that someone else wished for it too.

anon, seeing this ask in my inbox really put some lightness in my heart honestly. for a lot of my life, i had always felt rather uncomfortable with that aspect of my body - so much so that i can't really look at myself in the mirror before/after showering for example - and having learned about it a few years ago was honestly so validating, knowing that there is a form of bottom surgery to be able to achieve a neutral look, that would finally allow me to feel comfortable in my own body. thank you for your ask anon. may we both some day see our true selves in the mirror.

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

tumblr glitched and spared you all the most heated rant of my entire hoa fandom tenure

[thedailyvio]

Day 253

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

[not-poignant]

hi pia how are you? im not a native english speaker and wanted to ask you, when you wrote that caleb is negging faber its not like flirting but manipulation? 😅 i tried looking up the definition. im rereading utr (my fav spin-off i am eagerly waiting for) and would an example of negging be when caleb comments on faber looking like an omega? i thought it was more him talking out loud tbh. or is it when he says about fabers sex toy, one that he didnt give up on? 😂 i really like him haha

Hi anon!

Yes! Your example is spot on - re: commenting on Faber looking like an omega. I'll give you (and others) some more examples, because I think it's definitely worth talking about in general!

I really like Caleb, but he doesn't always speak to Faber very encouragingly in Underline the Red, and some examples are here. He often gives back-handed compliments - things that make Faber feel 'lesser' while making it seem like a compliment at the same time.

It would be like if a guy said something like 'wow that's such a weird laugh, it's so brave of you to laugh like that in public.' It's not really a compliment.

While Caleb doesn't go that far, exactly, he definitely says some things that put Faber in an insecure headspace and keep him there:

‘You taste great,’ Caleb said. ‘But fine, shower then. You’re a prissy little thing, aren’t you?’ Faber had heard far worse his whole life. ‘Yes, I am.’

This happens early on, and Faber takes it as an insult that 'slides off him' (i.e. had heard far worse means he doesn't think it's great, but it's also not going to turn him off). Prissy is not a good thing to be called in general! It's a term for someone who is uptight, and annoyingly fussy - and usually effeminate in nature).

‘It’s pretty. That blond red, I like it. Pretty like all of you. It’s so easy to imagine you’re an omega.’ Faber didn’t tense, but the words slid through him uneasily. Was that what Caleb was doing? He couldn’t find an omega, so he settled for a slighter, leaner beta?

This - Caleb has no reason to bring up omegas as often as he does, and Faber already knows that alphas prefer omegas (and Caleb makes it clear that he prefers omegas). So he's already making it seem like in order to get through sleeping with Faber, he's going to pretend he is one -> This makes it sound like he's not really wanting to accept Faber for who he is.

He could say anything: 'I'm so excited to sleep with a beta' or 'it's my first time, you'll have to help me' or 'You're so pretty' but he adds on a little sting right at the end - it's so easy to imagine you're something you're not.

This kind of 'negging' implies that Faber isn't good enough as he is, while also praising him for being close to it.

And from Faber's reaction, we see he doesn't like it, and it makes him very insecure.

‘Your ass gives a whole new meaning to the word tight,’ Caleb said, sounding a little impatient. ‘It really is much easier with omegas.’ It was a criticism that Faber wasn’t prepared to handle...

Complaining/being impatient on this, and comparing Faber to omegas in an unfavourable way, while also using the compliment of 'tight' is another example of a back-handed compliment. It's not being 'tight' that Faber notices here, it's being told that sex for Caleb is easier with omegas.

There's a couple of other examples - Caleb complaining that it's going to take 'so long' to work open Faber (in comparison to omegas) etc. so the constant 'I'm comparing you to omegas and you're not always measuring up' is happening in the background.

Now don't get me wrong, Caleb also just straight up praises him! He calls him perfect, he actually says a lot of very complimentary stuff. But it's a lot harder to take those comments at face value, when some of his comments have been quite back-handed, or been the kind of compliments that aren't really just straightforward compliments.

This is combined with the fact that Faber wants to be an omega, and feels very insecure about not being one, so all those veiled kind of 'this is harder for me because you're not an omega' compliments hit Faber really hard. He's just pretty good at masking it!

I also think Caleb does some of this on purpose. I think while he's very nurturing with omegas, Faber's not an omega as far as he's concerned, he doesn't have to be as nice and attentive as he normally would for a one night stand.

Caleb and Faber have great chemistry, but they also have some stuff to work out between them. Caleb starts from a position of valuing Faber less because he's a beta, and Faber starts from a position of not valuing himself much, and so taking all of that very much to heart.

We'll see more of how this plays out in future chapters! But for all that their chemistry in the bedroom is really magical (like they are definitely a hot couple!), their relationship as it starts to unfold definitely has some areas that need communication.

They're one of my favourite pairings and the reason I've actually stopped posting chapters is so that when their story is ready (because it properly picks up after Underline the Black), I won't have to put it in hiatus during a really angsty part!! And I can write it more steadily :D

[altschmerzes]

I’m legally obligated to ask about loneliness into loneliness if you post any time of ask aka FACE SMUSHED AGAINST GLASS.

OF COUUUUUURSE

here's a clip from loneliness into loneliness, the ted lasso fic about dani and jamie both being out injured at the same time, staying together at dani's house, and starting a queerplatonic relationship - figuring out what that means, what they want it to mean, how to navigate something neither of them have a roadmap for.

this is from the night where dani is, to put it succinctly, the big spoon for the first time, bc they started sleeping in the same bed so that jamie could help keep him from rolling onto his bad shoulder. now that he's healed enough to have his shoulder brace off, and has noticed jamie is having troubled sleep the last few nights, dani has offered to hold him tonight and see if that helps him sleep. it's also the first time we get into the thing with one of them putting a hand beneath the other's shirt, direct skin contact, etc, which ends up being. A Thing. this scene could be subtitled 'two people try to have a conversation where nobody says a full sentence the entire time and they both want the same thing that they don't have any language for or idea how to talk about'. it's a bit long, so, under the cut it goes:

When Dani’s hand slips under Jamie’s shirt, pressing against his side just above his hip, the feeling of skin against bare skin is electrifying. He twitches, the muscles under the point of contact giving a small, instinctive spasm. It’s something like a flinch and he feels Dani go still.

“Sorry,” Dani murmurs. He starts to pull away, lifting his hand from Jamie’s side while the rest of his body tenses like he’s getting ready to move. “I should have asked before I-”

“No,” Jamie says. He barely breathes it, really, lower than a whisper. Just as quickly as he’d interrupted Dani’s self-rebuke, he reaches down to grab the retreating hand and keep it there, gripping Dani’s wrist gently but firmly. “No, it’s…” He swallows hard. There’s something strange and uncertain fluttering in his chest, something anxious but hopeful at the same time. “It’s okay. I… It’s fine. I mean, are you… What do you…” What do you want? seems accusatory, What are you looking for with this? just sounds weird. Jamie can’t figure out how to ask, what he’s even trying to ask.

“Nothing. Just this. Just…” Dani’s fingers flex a little where their hands are hovering in an awkward tangle, still caught under the fabric of Jamie’s shirt. “I’m not trying to… Just to… When you helped with my shoulder, it was- was nice. That’s all.” He doesn’t seem to have the words for what he’s trying to say and there’s more hesitation now. His voice sounds embarrassed and it has a nervous edge, and there’s a tension at the grip Jamie has on his wrist like he’s going to pull back again.

“That’s okay,” is what Jamie settles on saying. “I don’t mind. That’s…” He swallows hard, thinking about the press of skin against skin, the warmth of being touched so directly and unflinchingly. The thought of being touched like that, just for the sake of it, the way he had touched Dani when he’d massaged his shoulder after physical therapy, just touch without the expectation of it leading to anything, something more following, is… Well, Dani had been right about that. “That’s nice, actually. I think. That’s- yeah. That’s okay.”

Even after he says it, Jamie waits for a long, still moment before releasing his grip on Dani’s wrist. He hopes he didn’t fuck things up somehow, that his reaction hadn’t made it so that Dani didn’t want to touch him anymore. The more he thinks about it, the more Jamie wants him to do it. His side aches, feeling oddly cold and prickly.

There’s a hovering pause where Dani’s hand stays in place, not quite resting against Jamie but not pulling away either, still there tucked beneath his shirt. There’s barely a centimetre between them and it feels like forever that it stays that way. The longer it goes on for, the more Jamie feels cold and exposed and small, and then everything changes.

Then Dani’s hand moves, settling on Jamie’s side. He leaves it there, his thumb moving in slow strokes over the ridge of bone at the bottom of Jamie’s ribcage. There are callouses on his palm that Jamie can feel, slightly rough against his skin. It’s beyond frightening but he doesn’t want it to stop. The chill is gone, and he feels grounded, anchored to this place and this time, here in this bed. It’s like he’s pinned there, but without the threat that word seems to imply - not pinned. Held. And honestly, Jamie thinks that he might die if it stopped, if that gentle touch was gone and he was left to lay here, cold enough to shiver without it. It doesn’t leave. It stays, pressing a little harder after a while, like the way that Jamie has relaxed and leaned back into Dani’s chest, not flinching again since that first time, has given him permission to settle in too.