#i hope again that everything goes well in my adult life and that my 18th birthday also goes well too

[nayiitopia]

Happy boyo! 🩷

February, the day for friendship and love has already arrived and I'm so ready to start drawing Valentine's Day drawings and gifts for all my friends and family. Because every time I draw my sona's family, everything makes me feel very happy and better, and I do it with a lot of love and so much gratitude yippee! 🩷✨️

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Turning 18!

Oh yeah, since we are in February, I only have 17 days left to turn 18 (yes, first my birthday is on February 18th, I'll be an adult and second I need to face all the challenges and works as an adult and won't be easy tbh). I'm proud that my birthday is coming, but I didn't expect to turn 18, time really flies by and damn need to prepare for that.

I hope this year is much better than 2024, since it is the year I lost so many friends... I felt so affected and sad, and I hope that doesn't happen again. And well... I'll take advantage of these remaining 17 days to live my teenage life and prepare for my adult life, hope everything turn out well awee.

[amaretigris]

Could you do a one-shot where the reader gets kidnapped by pirates and Eric goes and recuses her to bring her to safety. It’s your choice if you want to add smut after that situation happens but if you don’t and just want to keep one-shot that just has fluff i’m fine with that as well.

Hello! Thanks for this ask. I am happy to do these for you guys, I only ask that you respect the basic etiquette of making requests. I do these in my free time, which I will soon be short on, so please keep in mind that they are requests and basic manners still apply. Not directing this at you specifically, I just want to avoid any future crass asks. :)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! 1.3k words

Everything

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅

Sailing back to the kingdom to see your Prince, the salty sea air whistled through your hair. You couldn’t help but get excited at the thought of holding him close again. You had taken a short voyage to your homeland to visit relatives that you hadn’t seen in far too long. You weren’t originally from Eric’s kingdom, but your parents made the move there when you were small. You had held only images in your brain of your home island all these years, no solid memories. It was nice to revisit the place and see what it was like as an adult. Having just had your 18th birthday, Eric surprised you with the idea of the voyage. He ordered his fastest ship and his best crew to escort you there and back safely. He wished that he could accompany you, but there were too many things that required his immediate attention at home.

Sighing out of contentment, you let your thoughts wander. How did you get so lucky to have a handsome prince like Eric fall in love with you? You still weren’t used to the idea after about a year of being with him. He didn’t care that you weren’t royalty, seeing as how he couldn’t stand royalty himself. Eric could escape with you and feel normal for once in his life. That’s all he ever wanted. A crashing sound startled you from your thoughts as you involuntarily jumped. Turning from the bow of the ship to investigate, a bottle smashed across your head. Blacking out, only patches of light came in and out of your vision. You thought you were being carried somewhere, from the little sense that you could make of the situation before you slipped into complete unconsciousness.

Your head was pounding. That’s the first thing you felt as you stirred awake. Creasing your brow and lifting your hand to your head, your arm stopped short of it. Something was rubbing against your skin. Blinking your eyes open, you looked down to see a rope tied around your waist and encompassing your arms. You sucked in a sharp breath as the reality of your situation hit you like a freight train. Frantically looking around the room, you saw that you were being held on the lower deck of a ship. Not Eric’s ship though. You didn’t recognize this one. You turned your head from side to side to try to look behind you. It looked like you were tied to a wooden deck beam. You started hyperventilating. This was bad. Really bad. Trying to take calming breaths, you heard a door wrench open behind you. You didn’t move a muscle as you waited for the approaching person to walk into your line of sight.

The man carried an odor with him; the pungent smell of body odor and alcohol mixed assaulted your nostrils. Not your favorite scent if you had to pick one. You examined the man’s back as he stopped a few feet in front of you. He had scraggly black hair and wore a captain’s hat. Shit. Pirates.

Your anxiety was multiplying by the second. You refused to speak first, fixing him with a stony glare as he turned around. As one dark brown eye met yours, you swallowed the lump in your throat. The sudden, chaotic sound of laughter made you jump again. Showing his few remaining yellow teeth, the pirate laughed hysterically at the sight of the frightened young woman in front of him. What a prick.

Settling his laughter down into a cheeky grin, the man finally spoke.

“Sorry for the inconvenience, Miss. It seems that there’s a prince waiting for you to arrive back at his castle. Seems to be a good trading chip to me. This has nothing to do with you, really. You’re just collateral damage. But you’ll feel better knowin’ that your life is worth your weight in gold. Or, ‘f nothin’ else, we’ll see if the prince really fancies you, aye?”

Winking at you with his one uncovered eye and turning to leave, you started to speak before snapping your lips shut. Trying to quell your anger, you reasoned with yourself - there was no point in trying to bargain with pirates. The ache in your head was still quite pronounced. You winced at the pain and tried to find anything to distract yourself. Looking down at the rope again, you struggled to see if you could sit. The tight knot didn’t budge. Instead, you swore that with your wiggling, it got tighter and cut into your arms more. Letting your head bounce back in defeat, you started to sob. You weren’t sure how you could possibly get out of this situation alive.

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅

Back at the castle, news had reached the Prince that his vessel was boarded by pirates on the outskirts of the port. He heard nothing but his rapid pulse in his ears after that sentence. Eric sprang into action. Running past the staff that broke the news and flying down the stairs, Eric raced to his study. He pulled his sword off the mantle, the one he hoped to never have to use, and rushed out to the dock. He yelled at the staff to get all hands on deck before sprinting up the ramp onto the ship. The Siren. It was normally used as a trading vessel but was well equipped for speed and efficiency on the water. He only hoped it could move fast enough. If anything happened to you, he didn’t see how he could go on. Shaking his head of that thought, he set to work to get the ship moving.

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅

After crying for at least an hour, your head was infinitely worse. You relaxed your body as best you could between the beam and the rope. You figured that you could at least try to sleep. The stress of the situation and adrenaline coursing through your body had taken its toll on you. Nodding off, you weren’t sure how much time had passed before you heard metal crash and scrape against more metal. You shook your head and tensed your arms. You weren’t sure what was coming; you just knew that you couldn’t go down without a fight. Even though you couldn’t do much in your current state, you were damn sure going to try. You braced yourself and tightened your jaw. The door crashed open behind you as you let out a squeal. You had to compose yourself. Come on, (Y/n), it’s now or never. Time to be brave.

You were preparing to kick at your attacker when the set of bright blue eyes that you’d been longing to see all morning suddenly flashed before you. Pain and anger were the first things you saw on his face as Eric rushed to you. He pressed a quick kiss to your lips.

“(Y/n), sweetheart, I was so worried. I thought I’d lost you.”

Tears clouded your vision, prickling at the corners of your eyes when Eric cupped your cheeks in his hands.

“Please, please don’t cry, (Y/n). I’ll never let this happen to you again, I swear. Here," he said as he reached for his sword, “let me cut you free.”

With one quick lash of his sword, Eric cut you free from your bonds. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you fell into him.

“Eric. Thank you. I can never repay you," you sobbed into his neck.

Wrapping his arms tightly around you, Eric shushed you.

“(Y/n), having you by my side is payment enough. I thought I’d lost you. I’ve never felt a pain that deep," he choked out as his own eyes welled up with tears.

He kissed your forehead and closed his eyes, sending tears running down his face.

“You mean everything to me.”

[scarletspider-lily]

this is going to be a pretty long rant.

so my family is church of Christ (so like, babtist lite). I am a closeted agnostic. unfortunately, it's getting pretty obvious because my younger sister got babtized a few years ago, and I still haven't. I basically told my mom that since covid I've been disassociating, and can't "feel god".

she has freaked out and is using every chance to push religion on me. it's getting rough. what makes it worse is that our church hasn't had a permanent preacher since April. there's also this guy named C. C's family is very entrenched in our church. C has been both song leader and college group leader (our church is very close with a local college) for several years. C's sons run AV and events. C's dad was a preacher, and is now an elder. now, C wants to be preacher.

my mom is starting to think C is subconciously hungry for power in the church and is considering moving to a different church. however, she hates all the other surrounding churches of Christ. so she told me that we'd visit around and find whatever church helped me "feel god" best.

now I could totally reinvent myself at a new church, get babtized just to please her, and all would be well. except she wants me to do Bible studies on her Bible app and do family devotionals and watch her terrible preachy Zionist leaning YouTube channels. I'm exhausted. no matter what I do she'll keep badgering me because she believes it's her duty to make sure I get to heaven. I can't even ignore her, recently we went on a road trip and she got started on the topic again, and because I refused to talk to her about it, she pulled the car over and wouldn't move again until I talked. she begged me, said that the silent treatment was worse than anything I could throw at her, but I know how terrible my life will be if she finds out the truth. on top of that, I'm gay and hiding the fact that I'm dating one of my best friends.

she's even trying to find a church for me in a different city for when I move away for college. at least I only have 8 more months in this house.

my 18th birthday is in a few days, but I know that me being an adult won't change things. she's the parent, so she has the power. she'll never be happy until I'm under her control.

I know you probably don't have any advice, I just had to say it somewhere. I'm so tired.

hey, sorry for seeing this so late. to be honest, i dont have advice but i hope your situation improves, i can relate to some of it, like the finding a church when you move for college thing. once again i'm sorry for the late reply but i hope you know that youre in my thoughts, and i sincerely wish everything goes well and yeah, being 18 but still under your parents is rough, but not uncommon. it is good you're moving out though, i hope you can somehow find a way to lie that you're attending church or something, or just attend a few services- either way i hope it will be better than you staying at home now!

[jinxxedmisery]

H!

I'm back from the dead!

And I have things to talk about 🤭

Last month into this month has been fucking wild for me!

I was connected to a girl my age through my therapist, her name is Sam. We've really hit it off and I now consider her a friend.

Then... for some reason I felt confident enough to make a dating profile.... and

AGAINST ALL ODDS I MET SOMEONE.

Like I live in a town over an hour away from any cities.. but he only lives a half hour out of town... so not a super long drive.

Anyway, we've seen eachother in person twice but I fell so deeply in love with the guy.. and I can tell he feels the same about me... the way he looks at me.... How he talks... He is also a total romantic.. much like myself, so it's been going really good! I'm hoping we'll get to see eachother again next week.

But I never thought I'd ever get into a romantic relationship... if I'm being honest

Don't read on if you're easily triggered by mental health issues and/or sexual themes.

I never intended to be around this long... I was literally planning on ending it all shortly after my 18th birthday... But for some reason... I kept going.. and I'm super happy that I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have ever met my friend and boyfriend.

Seriously...

Things are finally going right for me after so many goddamned years of being alone, isolated unable to find any real connection and incredibly miserable because of it...

I have finally realized I am not unlikeable, I'm not worthless and I can find friends. And for the rest of 2022 and into 2023, I will work as hard as I can to not let my anxiety control me anymore

My next big leap comes in November. I will be looking for my first job!

And here comes the part where I gush about my boyfriend

I now have this dream now where I'm settling down with my boyfriend.... we move into a little apartment in one of the cities nearby (in fact that dream could very well come true... because we both want to go to the same city for college) and we settle into a peaceful domestic life together.... hopefully with cats!

Ok... but like honestly this guy is literally the one I've been dreaming of. He's very attractive and emotionally available, and he doesn't judge me for who I am! I neglected to mention here, but I have discovered that I am agender and my pronouns are they/them... I live in probably one of the most conservative provinces in Canada and to make it worse, I'm in a small town with like 4 churches of the same exact brand of extremely homophobic and transphobic Christianity... I fully expected him to lose interest in me. But no, It hasn't affected how he thinks of me. and he is very careful to respect my pronouns...

He's also very funny (which I really love in people... I can't be around someone who is super serious all the time) I mean... when I last saw him on Monday, we were at my place, playing around (in an adult sort of way) and he discovered my toys

One of them had a suction cup at the base, so he goes and sticks it on the wall a few times... then he sticks it on his forehead looks at me and says "I'm dildo man" we laugh about it together.... and he goes to pull it off his face only to discover it has suctioned pretty hard to his face, so I help him by wedging my finger under the suction cup and lifting it off...

and HE HAS A BIG ASS BRUISE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD... We're still laughing our asses off... me almost pissing myself with laughter as we frantically search for way to get rid of bruises and hickeys online... we try the fork method, icing it... everything we can do, nothing works.. so we decide to just take a bath to clean up before my parents get home from a trip they were on (at this point my parents don't know we've had sex... and I wasn't exactly ready to tell them) While we're in the bath, my parents get home and my dad calls out to me... I fucking panic and we get out and dress at breakneck speed.

My parents brought home some takeout and my boyfriend stayed for dinner... he met my mom for the first time... but damn... coming downstairs after that was... super awkward... but thankfully my parents aren't the type to be bothered by that kind of thing, all they needed to know was that we used protection (which we did ofc)

It's funny though, he really gets along well with my dad.. Maybe it's their sense of humour. Or maybe the fact they are both quite talkative..

But damn.....

This guy is special.. and I hope we last for years, decades... life even...

And done.. Sorry about all that.. just had to write this all down somewhere.. It's really hard to contain my happiness right now.

[mediocre-writerr]

cardigan [quinn fabray]

Quinn Fabray x fem reader

Requested: Hello! I love your imagines! This is a bit of an odd request, but I was wondering if I can have Quinn Fabray imagines based on the love triangle in Taylor Swift’s Folklore album. The r is betty and you can just go from there! Thank you!

A/N: hey everyone i’m back! finals went well and i’m back, you don’t know how much i wanted to not study just so i can write this one. i was thinking about making this a 3 parter, one for each song? i think by the way this ends we may need it, lmk what you all think!

You place your head in between your legs as you sit in your room in agony. It’s been a couple months yet it still hurt. 

Everything was still fresh. 

Finding everything out from Rachel. Confronting her. All of it. It kept replaying in my mind like a nightmare that just won’t go away. 

“Honey,” your mom knocked on your door and opened it softly.

 She found you in the same spot that you have been in the past two months. The only time you were in a different spot was when you were at dinner or at school. 

“Sam’s here.” she whispers.

Sam comes into the room smiling at you sadly. He takes a spot next to me on the floor of my bedroom. I lied there clutching my cardigan that had too many memories attached to it. 

Wordlessly, you sidled up next to him and placed your head on his shoulder. He places his own head on top of yours as you just laid together. 

It became a routine: Sam or Finn would come by and just sit there with you to make sure you were okay. Sometimes neither of you would say anything and other times they did their best to try and cheer you up. 

“Quinn Fabray, you are drunk right now.” you giggled as the two of you decided to walk home back to your house after the party at Rachel’s. 

“And you are absolutely gorgeous.” she says whispering. 

Her arm was wrapped around your waist as the two of you were walking home. She liked to have a hold on you in anyway that she can. 

Around other people she didn’t like to show off too much, but alone she had a hand on you all the time. It seemed like she couldn't get enough. 

“Dance with me Y/N.” she whispers. 

The two of you were stopped under a streetlight. The streetlight shining onto the two of you. The Lima Ohio air was cool in the month of February. But as she wrapped the both of her arms around you, all you could feel was warmth. 

Your foreheads rested on top of one another’s, lips were mere inches apart. The two of you just swayed to the sound of crickets in the neighbor’s grass. The smell of alcohol filled your nostrils, but you didn’t mind. 

You just enjoyed her presence. How close she was. How warm and safe she made you feel. All of it. 

Quinn’s hand drifted from around your waist to under your sweatshirt. Her cold hands sending chills throughout your body. 

“Love, your hands are cold.” you whispered into her neck softly. 

“I’m sorry.” she whispered back, but she didn’t move them. 

As time went on her hands weren’t icy, but rather warm. And in that moment there was nowhere else you’d rather be. 

“How are you doing?” Sam asks, “You looked pretty out of it during glee club today.” 

“Not the best.” you whisper back. 

Your short answers are something that the rest of your friends have had to get used to. You were always the bubbly talkative one, no one found you annoying, but rather adorable at your childish antics. 

But when reality struck. They lost that. It was like your innocence was gone and every bad thing flooded your thoughts. 

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asks, trying to get you to do anything that’s not lying in a puddle of sorrows. 

“Sure.” you shrug. 

He gets up from the spot on the floor and flips through a bunch of movies that you had lying in a cabinet under your TV. You didn’t bother looking up from whatever he was picking. You just continued to lay there staring at the piece of clothing in front of you.

“My mom used to put this movie on for me every time I was sad or sick. It became one of my comfort movies. Even to this day.” he says as the movie commercials start to play on the TV.

The Peter Pan title screen brightened the room. It caused a blue hue to fill the white walls. Your heart dropped at the sight of it. 

“You know I feel bad for Peter.” she whispered softly. 

Her bare body was on top of you. Your legs were tangled under the sheets of her room. The bright TV screen causing the whole room to light up. 

“Why?” you whisper back as you rub your hands up and down her body. 

From her shoulders, to her back, to her ass, to her thighs, and up again.

“He could have changed the story. He didn’t have to lose Wendy. If he just stayed, they could’ve grown up and had an actual family.” she says.

You hum in response, too captivated by the girl in your arms. You kiss her forehead softly and she sighs in contempt, nuzzling in closer to you. Quinn places a soft kiss to your throat. 

You deepen your head into her hair, taking in her sweet scent. Before you place a kiss to the top of her head. 

You know Sam was just trying to help. He didn’t know that Peter Pan was your go-to movie with her. Whenever one of had a bad day you would just play Peter Pan and hold each other tight. Hoping to drift off into your own Neverland. 

“What are you going to do for your birthday?” Sam asks as Peter and Wendy fly off to Neverland. 

“Nothing. I’m not into the party scene right now.” you shrug, not bothering to look at him.

“Come on Y/N! It’s your 18th birthday! You’re officially becoming an adult. You can’t just not have a party.” he exclaims, “Let me and Finn throw you one. Nothing too big, just the kids in glee.” he suggests.

You finally turn to look at him for the first time since he’s got here. He was staring at you as his trouty mouth was in a huge smile. For the first time in forever you finally cracked on of your own smiles. Everyone’s just been trying to help and this is least you can do to show them you’re grateful. 

“Okay.” I nod.

“Okay?” he asks stunned by your answer. 

“Okay.” I say smiling slightly.

“Yes!” he yells, immediately taking you into a hug. 

The next day during glee club you took your usual seat next to Sam. As Mr. Shue waited for everyone to come in and for the bell to ring. 

You always saw when she walked in, but for some reason your gaze seemed to linger. Her eyes had bags underneath him and her usually tamed blonde hair was disheveled. 

You’ve heard rumors that she wasn’t doing the best either. That she hasn’t been doing well in school or sleeping much. But you didn’t know what to believe. 

Her green eyes met yours and your heart skipped a beat. It’s crazy that she still has that hold on you. That even by a simple look she still manages to make your heart go boom!

“Hey everyone!” Sam announces breaking you away from her gaze. 

He goes to stand up in front of everyone, “Since Y/N’s birthday is coming up. Me and Finn here have decided to throw a party for her! Only us glee kids, at her house, on Friday. Be there!” 

The two of you were slow dancing as Rachel was singing Jar of Hearts. Her arms wrapped around your waist tightly as yours was wrapped around her neck. 

There was a millimeter of space between the two of you. You couldn’t express how much this girl had a hold of you. How much you were falling in love with her. 

“What are you thinking about?” she whispers as she notices your loving gaze on her face.

“All my life I’ve felt like I was just there. Existing for no reason. Yeah, I had friends, but I always felt like the oddball. I was just there.” her gaze softened as you continued, “I don’t know how to explain it, but I always felt like an old cardigan you got when you were younger that you never wore. But you always kept because you felt bad if you got rid of it. So you just stored it under your bed, so it just collected dust.” 

“Y/N-” she begins to say, but you cut her off. 

You shake you head smiling, “But you, Lucy Quinn Fabray, you engulfed me in love and care. You took me out from under the bed and put me on and said that I was your favorite. You chose me despite me being not special. So thank you.” 

“You’re selling yourself short love. You’re so special and if people don’t see that then that’s okay. Because you are special to me and my heart. I love you Y/N Y/L/N.” she says softly. 

You closed that millimeter of space and kissed her softly. Your lips touching igniting fireworks. Every single time. 

“Are you okay?” Blaine asks snapping you away from your false fantasy. 

You shook your head, “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” 

Everything about your relationship haunts you. Even the good. 

Because what if everything was different? 

What if you weren’t just an old cardigan? What if you were actually something special? What if you were enough for Quinn Fabray?

[four-letter-girl]

InuKag Fanfic Recommendations

Hi everyone 🌻

I joined the Inuyasha fandom over the summer, and I’ve been having a good time reading fanfiction since finishing the series. Recommendation posts helped me find some great ones. I’ve decided to put one together for fun [lmao for all 10 of my followers - squad]. These are fics I’ve enjoyed [i.e. binged and used as COVID coping mechanisms]. They aren’t in any particular order. I’m sure there are plenty I’ve read that I’m forgetting, but I wasn’t exactly planning to do this.

I’m copy and pasting the summaries from the writers with each link because that’s more helpful than my fangirl thoughts about each one. Ha. I’ve included ratings, but this list is being made with the assumption you’ll determine if a fic is right for you by reading Author Notes and additional ratings within each link.

I tagged the Tumblrs of the authors I follow/could find. If you see someone on here who isn’t tagged and you know their Tumblr, let me know and I can add them. Also, I’ve been using Tumblr less than a month, and I have no idea what I’m doing. If I’ve done something wrong or something looks weird, THAT’S WHY. 💀

As of 11.22.20

Multi-Chapter In Progress:

(T) Light Me a Lantern by Novaviis / @inuyashasforest: “Picking up the pieces after being separated for three years isn't as easy as it may seem. A quiet, burning kind of chaos sweeps through Feudal Japan, and it's going to take a lot more than a fairy tale ending to put things back together. They defeated a man who would become the Devil. Can they survive a man who would become a God?”

(M) Behind the Silk Screen by Eiennobasho / @eien-no-basho: “When a twist of fate brings the common-born priestess Kagome to serve Inuyasha, Divine Emperor of Japan, will she be able to help him claim his place on the throne and bring order to their country? Or will court intrigues and their own burgeoning feelings tear the two and their nation apart? A historical romance set in Japan’s Heian Era.”

(M) Fate Carving by willowandfog / @willowandfog: “The human world has been brought to its knees by the demons, reverting their culture back a century. Demons now control everything and the humans? Set to be servants forever. Kagome’s city is ruled over by the Inu youkai clan and when she goes to Kaede on her 18th birthday for her required ��Fate Carving,” the tattoo that will determine what her place is in the world, she’s stunned, terrified, and overwhelmed by the results. Everyone she’s ever known has been a worker, but when has Kagome ever been the same as everyone else?” (M) Kintsugi by Evilillusions / @soliska: “Failing to be chosen as her village's miko, Kagome had resigned herself to a humble life. An unexpected summons returns her to the city where she's forced to reconcile the taught virtues and the spiralling, warped reality created by those that abuse their power. She holds the key to repairing the fracture between humans and youkai, and the freedom of her new hanyou friend.” (M) Bound Across Time by wonderwander / @thornedraven: “InuYasha and Kagome are separated for three years, travelling for so long together only to be ripped apart without so much as a good-bye. Pain and heartache manifests itself in different ways. It hardens you or breaks you. How long can one hold on to hope?” (M) The Half-Breed’s Wife by Gypsyn / @gypsin: “On the night of the new moon, a runaway girl stumbles into Inuyasha's life. Little did he realize then what he would be undertaking by saving her. But when Kagome has nowhere else to go will he leave her to her fate Or will he rise to the occasion? And what will the humans think?” (M) Hit The Like Button by omgitscharlie / @omgitscharlie: “After a public breakup, successful social media influencer Kagome Higurashi is single for the first time since she started her career. Trying to cheer her friend up, Sango hosts a party in hopes of getting Kagome out of her stooper; unbeknownst to her, there was a certain person Sango wants her to meet. Unfortunately, the set up does not go as hoped as the two know each other from previous, unsavory interactions.” (M) Youkai In The Mirror by SugarRos / @sugarrosfanfiction: “Kagome Higurashi is lucky. She has good grades, good friends, and the cute, popular boy in class just asked her out. But when she accidentally unleashes a very wicked youkai from a very wicked spell, her luck runs out. Now on the run from a powerful priestess, Kagome must help Inuyasha get his revenge.” (M) Demon Nature by Shardetector / @shardetector: “He spoke low and gently, although his voice was gruff with his demon still so close to the surface, ‘You saved me wench, now I’ll repay the favor.’ With that, his muscles bunched in his legs as he sprung up and out of the well, a red blur in the night as he made his way through the forest to his destination. His precious cargo held safely to his chest, as he raced to save her with his demonic speed.”

(M) A Crack in the Glass by willowandfog / @willowandfog: “Kagome’s being watched, followed, but has no idea who it is or why they are doing it. When Kagome hires the help of a private investigator things take a dangerous turn. Uncovering secrets that Kagome didn't even know she had.” (M) The Shogun’s Daughter by Shnuggletea / @shnuggletea: “Kagome’s father passed away when she was just a child but his Shogun status still makes her a valuable bride to a Lord of lands that border their village. She isn’t given much choice but still agrees to marry the stranger so those she cares and loves would be happy and safe, taking her village under his protection in return for her hand. Lord Inuyasha Tenoe is pushed by the council into marriage, assured his new bride was an excellent choice. He has his doubts but has no choice, agreeing to the match sight unseen. All their fears and anxiety are amplified when they meet. It’s an interesting coupling to say the least.”

Multi-Chapter Complete:

(M) The Kings Concubines by The ReddQueen: “The Concubines of the House of the Moon are the most beautiful & idolized women across the Western Land. A chance arises as they search for another to take such a prestigious position. One will find that a true concubine is more than beauty, but she must overcome the most painful of hurdles, keep the darkest of secrets, & still stay true to her heart.”

(M) Thousandfurs by RosieB: “Based on the little known Grimm fairytale. Princess Kagome is forced from her home and into the demon territories. Will Prince Inuyasha ever figure out who his new servant is?” (M) Base Instincts by ImaniJoain: “When Inuyasha is lost to his youkai half, Kagome must find a way to convince him to return to himself.”

(M) To Summon a Mate by Penthesileia / @pentheseileia: “On Halloween night, Kagome is tricked into releasing a possessive, dangerous, hotter then hell demon from his prison of 500 years. She's in danger, but it's not her life she's worried about…yet.”

Oneshots

(M) Lesson by akitokihojo / @akitokihojo: “After a long night out, tensions begin to build. Kagome gets herself into a little trouble with Inuyasha, and Inuyasha is more than happy to teach her right from wrong.”

(M) Dominance by omgitscharlie / @omgitscharlie: “She'd been teasing him all day, and she knew it. Those fleeting glances and knowing smiles, it drove Inuyasha insane; not to mention she smelled sweeter, more intense. What happens when Kagome pushes Inuyasha beyond his limits?”

(M) It Will Come Back by wonderwanderer / @thornedraven: “A one shot inspired by Hozier's song "It Will Come Back". Slight Little Red Riding Hood inspiration as well. Darker themed Little Red Riding Hood, and much more adult themed.”

(M) Touch by KeiChanz / @keichanz: “’I want…’ He paused, trying to find the words, and growling in frustration when he couldn’t. A grunt left him and he dropped his forehead onto her shoulder. ‘I just…I…dammit.’ Inuyasha sighed raggedly, nuzzled her shoulder, and then husked against her skin, ‘I want…you.’”

(M) After the Well Closes by Shnuggletea / @shnuggletea: “It's been a year since Kagome made the decision to jump back through the well and leave her family and life behind. And she is confused to say the least that things are almost the same. Tired of being Inuyasha's demon-killing partner and nothing more, Kagome decides to start her new life and family. When she is stopped by a manic demon Inuyasha, her new life beings quickly.”

(M) Mine by jaygirl987: “She was so beautiful and pure. And his.”

(M) Diamonds and Moonglow by annabeth: “That whimper, right there, is what Inuyasha loves most about this.“

(M) Together Again by wonderwanderer / @thornedraven: “Some intimacy between InuYasha and Kagome after being reunited after three years, rediscovering each other in some of the more intimate ways one can.”

[vs-redemption]

The Ball (Historical AU)

Teen!Keigo Takami x Teen!Toya Todoroki

Summary: Set in the 18th century, Keigo  goes to his first ball after finally turning sixteen. His family has groomed to be the perfect gentleman, but everything about his upbringing is challenged once he meets an interesting boy named Toya Todoroki.

Word Count: 2,639

Warnings: None

It was the beginning of spring and the cherry trees around the Takami estate were beginning to come back to life after surviving the harsh cold of winter. The tiny buds growing from the formally barren branches would soon bloom into thousands of tiny white blossoms, making the trees look like big fluffy pink clouds. Keigo strolled along the edge of the lake on the property, reminiscing about his childhood when he used to run through the trees and pretend that he was a bird that had taken flight for the first time. Even just imagining that kind of freedom back then had brought joy for the boy who had been cooped up in his family’s manor his entire life.

Keigo’s parents were quite strict and had chosen to keep him close so that they could monitor his education and behavior. They had even hired a private teacher to instruct him in all the necessary subjects as well as proper etiquette for someone of his social standing. The boy had excelled in all his studies, working diligently to prove that he could be trusted if only his parents would relinquish just a bit of their control. Nothing he did ever seemed to be enough however, so he spent his days longing for friendship and adventure.

Things would be a little different this year though. Keigo had celebrated his sixteenth birthday just a few months prior which meant he was now eligible for marriage. His parents had discussed in length over whether or not he was ready to make his debut into high-born society and surmised that even if he wasn’t, continuing to keep him out of the public eye now would just make him look less appealing as a suitor. So, for the first time ever, Keigo had the promise of a chance to finally see the world outside his family’s estate. All he had to do was be on his best behavior and wait patiently for the invitation to the next ball to be delivered. Mercifully, he didn’t need to wait much longer as the unmistakable sound of a horse coming up the road towards the house met his ears.

Two weeks later, Keigo found himself standing in front of a floor length mirror as one of the servants helped dress him in the brand new set of formal clothing his parents had purchased just for the occasion. He couldn’t stop himself from fidgeting with the ends of his jacket and the buttons of his waistcoat as the servant began to tame his wild sandy blonde hair with a comb.

“Are you nervous?” she asks kindly and Keigo shakes his head.

“Excited,” he corrects her. As far as he was concerned, there was nothing to be nervous about. He’d studied the names of all the families attending the ball and had been practicing all the most popular dances since he was old enough to walk. He’d memorized all the proper greetings and knew the appropriate times to stand, sit, speak, or remain quiet. He was ready for this.

“Well you shouldn’t move around so much,” she swats his hands away from his collar so he’d stop messing with it. “Ladies prefer a gentleman that is poised.” Keigo scrunches up his face and earns himself a whap on the head. “Ladies also prefer a gentleman that doesn’t make silly faces.”

Keigo wanted to point out that ladies didn’t sound very fun at all, but knew the comment would not be appreciated. He understood what was expected of him and planned to make a great first impression on all the new people he would meet that day. He didn’t have any particularly strong feelings about marriage, but he knew it was one of the duties he had to uphold for his family. He tried to keep that in mind despite being most excited just to see anything other than the same scenery he’d always been surrounded by.

He drew on every ounce of self-control he possessed to keep composed after he finally climbed into the carriage with his parents. The driver called out to the horses and they lurched forward. Keigo fought the urge to press his face to the window as the dull familiarity of his estate gave way to brand new views of landscapes and buildings he’d never seen before. It was impossible to keep the wonder out of his wide golden eyes as they made it into town where the streets were alive with people meandering from shop to shop. He saw young children skipping around together as their parents stopped to converse with friends and neighbors. Keigo envied the young ones who would never truly understand the feelings of boredom and loneliness. The buildings thinned out and the carriage rolled into a less populated area with large beautiful brick houses surrounded by various styles of gardens. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed when they finally turned onto a long driveway that would take him to their destination.

As the massive home came into view, it became blaringly obvious that the family hosting the ball was more than a touch richer than the Takami family. Up close, the colossal manor seemed more like a castle to Keigo and he openly marveled at the gorgeous fountain decorating the center of the impressive roundabout driveway. If this was just the outside, he could scarcely imagine what the inside would be like. Once the carriage came to a complete stop, a servant opened the door and greeted them formally.

“I hope you had an easy journey,” he bows and helps each member of the Takami family out of the carriage. “Welcome to the Todoroki estate.” The family is ushered inside so that the next guests could be received. Keigo follows his parents into the building since they seemed to know their way around well enough.

Walking into the ballroom felt like entering into a whole other world. It was larger than any of the rooms in the Takami manor and was filled with more people than Keigo had ever seen. There was so much to look at that it was a bit overwhelming for him. His eyes tried to take it all in as they moved over the multitude of colors and fashions of clothing and jewelry, not to mention the people themselves. The first few minutes were a blur of introductions and Keigo was thankful that most of these people had been described to him beforehand since it would be impossible to remember them all otherwise. Finally, it was time to meet the host himself, Enji Todoroki, along with his wife and four children. It was rather intimidating to meet such a powerful family, but years of meticulous training helped Keigo stay calm and polite. Once the adults were deep in conversation, he found himself the center of attention for the Todoroki siblings.

“It’s so lovely to finally meet you, Keigo. My name is Fuyumi.” The only sister gives a small curtesy and Keigo bows politely back. He didn’t want to startle anyone with his excitement even though he was delighted to meet other people his own age.

“Likewise,” he takes her hand gently for a moment before stepping back. “I like your dress. The color compliments the red in your hair.” Fuyumi flushes a bit but the moment is ruined by a loud scoff from the oldest brother.

“Oh, what a gentleman!” he exclaims sarcastically with a look of bored amusement on his face. He claps his hands together twice before slumping his shoulders and rolling his lazy blue eyes. “Please tell me you’re not planning on using those tiresome lines all evening. If you want to marry my sister, just say it plainly and spare us all.”

“Toya!” Fuyumi looks at her brother in horror. It had been a long time since Keigo had the misfortune of being embarrassed, so the sensation of warmth spreading into his face felt a bit foreign.

“I apologize if my words were misinterpreted,” he tries to recover. “I only meant that…”

“Oh,” Toya interrupts with a frown. “So you don’t think she’s worthy of your affections then?” Keigo tried to keep the stress of the situation off his face but he had no clue just what to do. He had thought he could navigate his way through any situation. Apparently he’d overestimated himself. The second oldest brother lets out a laugh but tries to cover it as a cough causing Toya to smirk. Keigo felt humiliated and wondered if he’d be forced to leave. If that happened, surely his parents would never let him out again.

“Leave him be, both of you!” Fuyumi reprimands her brothers as quietly as possible before looking back at Keigo, her expression softening. “This is your first ball, correct?” He nods once and Fuyumi smiles. “Well rest assured you’re conducting yourself far better than my brothers here. I envy the girl who gets to be your first dance.” Keigo glances nervously over at Toya.

“What are you looking over here for? It’s blatant she wants you to ask her,” He comments flatly before suddenly standing up straight and putting a hand to his chest. There was a strange glint in his eyes as he grinned and leaned forward. “Or were you thinking of dancing with me instead?” The mere suggestion startles Keigo and he falters for a response.

“Toya!” Fuyumi hisses again while glancing nervously at their father who had turned around to check on them. “What will Keigo think of us after a question like that?”

“I hope things are going well over here,” Enji’s fierce blue eyes scanned over each of his children in an almost threatening way. Fuyumi and the two younger brothers corrected their posture under the gaze of their father, but Toya continued to slouch defiantly. It was peculiar that he acted so differently than his family members when he was the one who resembled the father closest with his deep red hair and icy blue stare.

“Things could not be any better, father!” He declares almost obnoxiously, “Keigo here was just about to beg my sister for the first dance.”

“Oh, how lovely!” Keigo’s mother seemed delighted.

“Yes that’s fine, Toya, but you’d do well to mind your theatrics.” The senior Todoroki’s voice comes out low and menacing, and Keigo catches him grab Toya’s wrist quickly and give it a sharp squeeze. Toya winches and pulls his arm away.

“I’d be honored if you allowed me the first dance,” Keigo bows to Fuyumi, hoping to direct the conversation away from Enji’s anger toward Toya. Fuyumi curtsies back and accepts the offer. Enji signals the pianist and an announcement is made for guests to begin partnering up. Keigo walks with Fuyumi to find a place amongst the other couples and soon the song begins. Even with all the hours of practice, he still felt a dash of nerves. Thankfully, Fuyumi was confident in her steps and made it easy for him to lead the dance. Once the first song had ended, she introduces him to one of her friends to share the next dance. Before he knew it, he had danced with nearly every young lady in the room. Before the exhaustion forced him to reject some poor girl, someone else grabbed him by the arm and pulled him from the dance floor and off to the side of the room.

“You know you’re allowed to take a break, right?” Keigo takes a second to get his bearings, then discovers that he’d been dragged away by Toya Todoroki. He glances over at his parents who either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care that he was no longer dancing.

“I didn’t want to offend anyone,” he admits. “There are so many people.”

“Don’t let the attention go to your head,” Toya frowns while leaning casually against the wall with his hands crossed over his chest. “It’s simply because you’re a new face and everyone wants to know why you were kept locked up until now.”

“Oh,” Keigo just wanted to fit in as a normal guest, not double as a sideshow for everyone else’s amusement.

“Hey,” Toya suddenly leans in closer, catching Keigo off guard once again with his piercing blue eyes looking directly into his. “Don’t look so upset. People are attracted to the unknown,” Toya grins while patting Keigo once on the cheek, “and you’re a mystery.” There was no time to understand the boy’s meaning because Toya quickly retreats back to the wall.

“So,” he slides effortlessly into a new conversation while Keigo continued to wrap his head around what had just happened. Toya waves his arm garishly around the room, “which of the girls do you think is the prettiest?”

“I think they’re all pretty,” Keigo replies honestly. Toya rolls his eyes.

“Yes,” he agrees shortly, “they are. They’re all pretty, talented, intelligent, fashionable and every other thing you’d expect them to be. But which of them do you want to marry?” Keigo knew he should probably stop being surprised at Toya asking such questions so abruptly. He didn’t have the faintest idea how to reply, however.

“Do you really expect me to have an answer already?” He ask, “This is the first time I’ve met any of them.” Something akin to victory appears in Toya’s eyes.

“They say dancing is the first step to falling in love,” his voice was teasing now. “You’ve been out on the floor all evening, so it stands to reason you must have felt a certain connection with at least one of them.” Keigo couldn’t help but worry if what Toya was saying had even the tiniest bit of truth to it because not a single one of his dance partners had stood out from the rest. They had all been equally pleasant.

“Is there something wrong with me?” Keigo looks to Toya with uncertainty. Perhaps he shouldn’t have voiced his concerns out loud, but there was something about the eldest Todoroki sibling that consistently made Keigo feel vulnerable anyway. Toya lets out a sarcastic laugh.

“For being unwilling to trade one cage for another?” he asks in amusement. “I dare say the problem is with everyone else, not you.” There was a brief pause, and then Toya moves back into Keigo’s personal space one more time.

“You know my life used to be so dull,” he smirks. “But I don’t think it needs to be anymore. You and I seem to be kindred spirits, so I think that we should be friends.” Keigo agrees right away, though deep down he knew some might frown upon the relationship. Toya challenged everything he’d ever been brought up to believe, but that very fact alone gave him the same sensation of freedom he used to get while running through the cherry trees back home.

The ball slowly began to wind down and Keigo’s parents finally came to find him so that they could begin the journey home. They’d already called for the carriage, but Keigo made sure to find the host and the other Todoroki siblings to thank them for the invitation before departing. On the ride home, he pondered over the discussion he’d had with Toya. Perhaps he wasn’t interested in marrying any of the girls he’d become acquainted with because he already knew exactly what sort of life to expect from them. People were attracted to the unknown, and Toya was definitely a type of person he’d never encountered before. The anticipation of seeing the boy again was almost too much for Keigo and he wondered just how soon they’d be able to meet again. He’d spent sixteen years being locked up in the Takami estate, and now he had found someone that made him feel as if he could grow wings and take flight for the very first time.

[s7-evermore]

𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄 [Preview]

↳ 𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞: Ikemen Vampire x Ikemen Revolution 

↳ 𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖/𝕤: Slice of life(?), misc... 

↳ ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣: Sekiguchi Gin (OC)

↳ ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕤: I will be using some ikemen revolution characters as normal people in this story. Most of them will be around Gin’s age here or older...

𝔻𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟:

After the death of her grandfather, 15-year-old Gin is left in the hands of a mysterious relative of hers. He goes by the name Comte de Saint-Germain and he tells her everything that has been left unsaid between her and her grandfather...

[ GIN ]

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, I never saw things the same way other people did. Some say it's a blessing, some may say it's a curse, but along the way, I lost the idea of what those two words meant. The sky was especially blue today, not completely devoid of clouds, perhaps only small wisps of them, like the left behind cotton candy lingering in the cotton candy machine. They looked sweet just like them, drifting ever so slowly with the pace of the sun. 

I watched silently as people passed by, particles in different colors and shapes trailing behind them, lingering on their clothing or on their skin. The scent of the flowers on my front lawn was carried away by the wind, to the bees, and to the nostrils of my neighbor and his dog. 

My kind neighbor gazed at me with a sympathetic expression, but I paid no attention to it. I think I've had enough with receiving those kinds of looks now.

I sat outside the house I have now been living in alone for a few days since Gramps' death. I was waiting for someone, but I didn't know who.

Well, not exactly. I've seen Gramps writing and exchanging letters with him several times before. I never looked into those letters or read them at all whenever Gramps accidentally left them on the dining room table. But I remember how those letters looked from a distance. Cursive words were neatly written with elegant penmanship, matching the stationery it was inscribed on. 

To me, it looked like Gramps was exchanging words with someone from another time. Someone who was still stuck in the past, writing letters instead of emails, sending long messages through paper instead of simply DMing him. 

Gramps told me this person was a distant relative of mine on my father's side, which made me curious every time. I barely knew anything about my father, other than the fact that he was always craving for adventure, so much that he just... disappeared. 

I don't even remember much of my mother's face. Sometimes I hear her singing to me, the song was a blur, but I remember the tone of her voice, so tender and sweet. I only remember the way her hair flowed in the wind because we had the same hair color, but that was about it. Most of my childhood memories were hazy recollections of my mother and most of them were only about my grandfather and me. 

Gramps was probably the only one I had most memories of. I could remember almost every little thing about him. He would play songs from his old record player whenever we did spring cleaning once a week in the afternoon. His usual breakfast was avocado toast, eggs, and cheese paired with apple juice, and sometimes he'd make me the same meal when I said I didn't mind. 

He had a large study of his own, but I never went in it because I wanted to respect his privacy. I've snuck a few glances whenever he left the door slightly ajar, and I would see his scratched mahogany desk and his old reading lamp sitting on the corner of it. I remembered the tall shelf of books on the other side of the room, as well as the old grandfather clock whose hands were frozen in time. 

Gramps kept grandma's old china in a glass cupboard that I never bothered to touch, I always left Gramps to clean it because I never trusted myself with antiques like that. Also because next to that cupboard was a stash of his favorite sake, and I automatically knew I wasn't allowed to touch those. 

I remember the times when he would drop me off and pick me up from school, he would always tell me old jokes that we'd both laugh at. He always laughed hard when it came to jokes, he'd laugh harder at his own. 

I remember the times when I'd come home late after hanging out with my friends. He would always leave me dinner and he would either be asleep or working and writing in his study. Gramps never cared about who I made friends with as long as they weren't bad enough to make me commit crimes or murder someone. As long as I knew what I was doing, then he didn't mind what I did. Perhaps that was his way of letting me know that he respected my privacy too as I did with his. 

Gramps was basically the only family I thought I had, that was until a few months ago when he told me he'd reached out to an old friend of his, which happened to be the relative from my father's side. He told me he was from France, but he never truly told me his name. Gramps called him 'Comte' and said that was the only name most people referred to him by. 

I remembered my 14th birthday. Gramps received another letter from this Comte that night and told me it had come with a package for me. Although I knew it was from a stranger (that I now referred to as my distant relative who I had no idea even existed), I was excited to open it the moment Gramps said it was for me. When I unraveled the silk blue ribbon, I was astonished to find a golden butterfly hairclip resting against a velvet cushion, gleaming bright with opulence inside the cream white box. 

Gramps was the one who clipped it on my head the next day when I was preparing for school, he even told me not to take it off or ruin it as it was obviously expensive. So, I never did. I never took it off unless I had to take a shower or sleep. I always kept the hairpin near, in my bag, or tucked safely in my pocket. I cleaned it every now and then too, to maintain its gleam. 

Until now, as I waited, I felt the butterfly pin clipped on my hair. I wonder if this Comte guy would notice it?

Averting my eyes away from the sky once again, I look at the large rolled luggage next to me, filled with things I considered 'necessary', and the large guitar case that once belonged to my mother sitting next to it. 

You go through life thinking you need a lot. I thought the same thing when I was thinking about what to pack. Clothes for spring, summer, autumn, winter, a small collection of my favorite mangas and books, the cute stationery I've been collecting over the years, my favorite anime figurines and nendroids, and useless notebooks with stories surreal enough to consider a child's...

But the longer I let my mind roam, the more I realized that everything I deemed necessary didn't seem as important to me now as it was before. I remember taking all those things out of my travel luggage and shoved in the only few clothes I thought was my favorite, the scarf Gramps made for me when I was twelve, the two albums of CDs that I bought over the years with the money I saved, the CD player and the pair of headphones he bought for me during my 14th birthday (it was adorable. Some people would consider that word to be the last thing you'd call an elderly man, but how could he not be when he tried so hard to search about modern trends just to know what a typical teenager like me would like?), my switch, my wallet, and my phone, my camera, and a photo of my mother. 

I was only fifteen, and in the future half of these things might be useless to me, but I just had to keep them as a reminder that I did have a good childhood. One that I would be willing to look back on when I'm old enough. 

As for everything else, I will leave them as pieces of me. I thought that maybe leaving behind things I owned would be evidence that I lived in this house, alongside my grandfather and the memories he had before me. 

I previously thought that it would be too soon for me to get used to not having Gramps in my life. I was aware of the fact that someday, I'm gonna have to live life alone, perhaps start a new family if I was allowed to. Until now, I still couldn't get used to the foreign feeling of having him gone.

I saw the signs that foreshadowed events of my soon-to-be solitary life, but I thought if I innocently ignored them, they wouldn't happen so soon. 

Of course, I knew about his sickness. Despite my intelligence, I tried to keep hoping that he would at least be alive to see me grow into an adult, to send me to college, or even live long enough to see me get married like he did, like my mother did. I noticed the whites in his eyes getting yellower. I noticed his usually tanned skin getting paler and paler. 

I saw the bloody handkerchiefs he stuck into jars. Whenever I did the laundry, I took them out of there and removed the stains like it was the most natural thing. I recalled his lessons on stain removal, not just on clothes but on various things such as carpets, rugs, or even curtains. I folded those handkerchiefs like they hadn't been tainted with blood moments ago. I acted like he was still okay, like he was taking care of himself. 

But it all backfired in the end.

...

In front of my house stops an opulent car, causing me to immediately straighten up as I freed myself from the thoughts that plagued my mind. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, my brows twitching when I spotted a man dressed in fine clothing stepping out of the car. 

Almost everything about him felt 'out-of-this-world'. His suit was obviously in the style of 18th-19th century European fashion, but it felt somehow modern that he stood out enough to be mistaken for an actor who had the role of a nobleman (the kind you see in anime or in dramas). His hair seemed to shine like specks of gold under the sun. His eyes were just shrouded with mystery, the kind that makes you think he had already seen everything, from the beginning of time up to the day earth is shattered by an asteroid. 

To conclude, he looked like a man straight out of a drama, and I never thought I'd live long enough to meet such a person. 

I slid my headphones around my neck as he approached me with a gentle smile, the kind that could mean a lot of things other than 'kindness'. I knew he was being genuine with his actions, but it was the constant wariness that I felt around other people that made me think otherwise. Things that don't appear to be what they truly are throw me off, I forgot if I was ever like this before.

He looked human, but he didn't feel like it. 

The man crouched in front of me. I was sitting on one of the steps, clutching tightly on the CD player in my hands. 

His gaze softens as he speaks, "You must be Gin."

I nod, "Yeah. Are you... Comte?"

I’ve been thinking about posting this for a while now, though I think it will mostly end up being a series of random one-shot stories of my OC interacting with IkeVamp and IkeRev characters. Since Gin is only fifteen (15), her relationship with the ikevamp characters will remain platonic, their interactions are going to be a brother/sister kind of thing. 

Such is not the case with the ikerev suitors though. Like I mentioned in the notes, they will be around Gin’s age. 

Also, if you still can’t tell, Gin has a type of synesthesia that allows her to see smells or scents as small shapes and colors.

[enesjay]

let’s talk about the novel

I keep vaguely mentioning the novel as if I didn’t create this blog because of it. It’s time to talk about Ever Yours. 

「Meet the Characters」

To those around her, Devi Viridian is living the perfect life: she’s ambitious, talented, and successful. She’s also the best liar in the world. And everyday, Devi lives as though she is running out of time – soon, that pristine mask will slip and reveal the ugly truths she’s spent her life running away from. 

After the funeral of her beloved mentor and friend, Devi is thrown back in time by an unexplainable freak accident. Waking up, she finds herself in an unfamiliar world, far away from home. Will she be able to find her way back – or rather, does she want to find her way back? 

----- ----- -----

At the tender age of 23, William Pitt has fulfilled his destiny: to follow the footsteps of his father and become one of the most powerful man in country. Aloof, ingenious, and unstoppable – the whole world sees nothing past the facade which he has spent his entire life building up. Just as it should be. 

Fast forward four years: Christmas recess, 1787. It was supposed to be just another tedious journey back to London – until he finds a young woman lying unconscious on the road. Nothing could have prepared him for what was next, and how their lives will forever be changed. 

A young woman from the 21st century. An 18th century Prime Minister. A whole lot of chaos (and Whitney Houston). This isn’t your typical history flick. 

(I plan to write a proper blurb at some point, but we’ll see). 

(Top left: Robert Home, Portrait of a Malay Woman, c.1770-1778; Bottom Right: Gainsborough Dupont and Thomas Gainsborough, The Right Honourable William Pitt the Younger (1759-1806), c.1787-1790. )

One of the greatest challenges is deciding to have a main character who’s a WOC, and fitting her into a historical setting that was extremely hostile towards POC. But in truth, I didn’t think twice about it because as a WOC myself, I’ve been waiting all my life to see somebody who looks like me in historical fiction. When southeast Asian women are shown in the media (generally speaking), we’re usually portrayed as degrading stereotypes and caricatures, which (it goes without saying) are not representative of who we are. I hope my novel will make things right – you know what they say, ‘be the change you wish to see’. 

Also, In light of everything that’s going on today, I think it’s important to go beyond the white-washed history of our textbooks. The historical domain characters (bar a few), are all elite white men and women, which is unavoidable. But in my process of creating the rest of the novel’s cast, I’ve been able to explore the lives of those who didn’t fit into that description, and it has greatly enriched my understanding of the 18th century and deepened my love for one of most vibrant periods in British history. 

Again, this point deserves its own post, which I can’t wait to write some day!

「So, how’s it actually going?」

Ah, the hard part. 

In my return post, I already mentioned some adjustments I made during my hiatus, viz. the new title and the re-write. The new title is pretty straightforward, as I’ve explained, the re-writing less so. 

To start with, let’s talk structure. The novel is split into two parts: Part I covers January-August 1788 (+ December 2017, pre-time travel chapters), and Part II from August 1788 to April 1789 (+an epilogue set a few months after). Each part contains ~40 lengthy (1k words+) chapters give or take, and the story is told chronologically, with the exception of some flashbacks. So yes, I have my work cut out for me. 

I decided that it was worth investing in a proper word-processor, so I bit the bullet and bought Scrivener*. Since I’m going into my third year, I’m sure I’ll make extensive use of it for my dissertation so that the slightly hefty price tag is justified. Google Docs, you have been a worthy companion, but my computer does not thank me for having 25 tabs running simultaneously, and I the last thing I need is organisational inefficiency. 

(*this post is strictly NOT sponsored by Scrivener or anybody related to it but hey feel free to hit me up if you’re reading this, Literature&Latte). 

I hope to make some progress throughout the year, but it’s definitely going to be challenging. Research is unbelievably intensive, and I’m not willing to compromise (too much) on authenticity. So far I’ve read secondary materials on topics ranging from Georgian kitchens to the printing business to POC in the 18th century. And that’s not counting primary sources like letters and newspapers! Again, this research is something that I hope to share with you all as I go along – I’ve already researched many things so actually, I have quite a massive backlog I could work with. 

「The Playlist 」

Before I go, I’d like to leave you, dear reader, with a very crucial element of the novel:

Throughout the story, these songs are either directly mentioned, or snuck in as cheeky lyrical references in the narration. I don’t want to give away too much away just yet, but you have to trust me when I say that this is an important part of Devi’s character, and by extension, the entire novel. 

This 80s heavy playlist is inspired by the hours I spend listening to Smooth radio, which is always on blast in our living room (cheers, mum). Generally, I’d say that the music of our parents’ generation are enjoying a sort of Renaissance because streaming apps has increased accessibility to these oldies but goodies – and of course, it may as well be that we inherited the taste for it from the adults around us.

Also, 1780s vs 1980s, duh. *galaxy brain*

Well. I think I’ve done enough rambling for now – see you next post! 

- nsj

[lightscamerabitchsmileee]

Happy Birthday Taylor ❤️❤️

I know I’m a little late writing this but @taylorswift I literally can’t believe that you’re 30 now I feel like it was only yesterday when I listened to Tim McGraw on CMT and instantly loved it from the first listen at that time you were 16 and I was 13 and like with many as a fan I got to watch you grow from country girl-next-door to the legendary pop queen that you are today your music has been an important part of my teen years and still important to this day as an adult every album that you’ve made has helped me at a certain point in my life including your latest album Lover ❤️❤️.

Your first two albums your self titled debut and Fearless were a huge part of my junior high to high school years I remember in high school when songs like Our Song, I’m Only Me When I’m With You & You Belong With Me was truly my jams and there was sort of a reliability to it 😊😊 The Best Day was definitely one of my favorites at that time because it reminded me of my mom and my family in general & Jump Than Fall, The Outside, Picture To Burn & Fearless were some other faves that I enjoyed around that time too (although I love every song on both albums 😊😊)

I think the moment where I knew that I truly became a full on Swiftie was when you released Speak Now your self-written masterpiece that’s not only my favorite album of yours but also the most relatable to my life it came out at the perfect time in my last year of high school when during that album cycle I graduated, went to university and also gotten into my first serious relationship and had my first breakup songs like Sparks Fly, Ours, Enchanted & Mine represented the relationship aspect part of my life while songs like Last Kiss & Haunted represented the early part of my breakup (Red took care of the rest haha), Never Grow Up is probably one of my favorites on a personal level it really struck a cord with me when I first moved away from home to go to university I remember my first night in Rez and I listened to that song and nearly cried because I was homesick and this song really got me through it and then there’s Long Live the song you wrote for the us fans and I just couldn’t get over how amazing that song is and it still holds up to this day especially now where it really is “the end of a decade and start of an age” haha but this album is what truly made me a Swiftie 4 life ❤️❤️

Red came after that and by this time I was going through my first breakup and if any album really got through it was this one (along with your other albums at that time haha) songs like I Almost Do, Come Back Be Here, Treacherous, Sad Beautiful Tragic and especially the best song you ever written All Too Well these songs definitely tugged at my heartstrings because those songs really related to what I was going through at the time it was therapy for me and songs like 22, Holy Ground, State Of Grace, Red, Starlight & Everything Has Changed definitely helped with the healing and making me smile and dancing and singing it all away (22 was even a better song when I actually turned 22 and jammed to that song the whole year I was 22 haha) and Begin Again is literally the perfect closer because it represented what was to come and it was the song I needed to move on. This was the album where you experimented with pop and I literally loved that you took that step and I loved seeing you evolve as an artist and that love grew even more when you released 1989.

1989 was your big bold crossover into pop and while I did love your country-side I was all for your pop pivot and when I hear Shake It Off I was literally dancing and singing to “this sick beat” and it was on repeat every since and still is to this day my go to get up and dance song every time. At this time you started trying to connect with your fans a bit more and this was when you joined Tumblr and being the super fan that I am like everyone I was pretty excited because I was on Tumblr (had it for 2 years at the time) and I was trying so hard to get you to notice me and one day on October 18th I was casually blogging and trying to get noticed by you and all of a sudden you followed me out of the blue and I was so incredibly happy I was jumping up and down and blasting your music at 2 am in my dorm room in Rez (I was lucky I didn’t wake anyone up haha 😂😂) so in awe that someone as famous as you would follow my little blog and I can’t thank you enough for following me and liking and reblogging my posts all these years so thank you from the bottom of my heart for that 😊😊

Anyways when 1989 came out it was amazing I remember taking two buses to Target to buy the album the day of the release and I remember coming back to my dorm room and just listening to the album over and over ❤️❤️. At this time I was in a second relationship but it was short lived and I was still in university at the time but I ended up failing later (by only half a point) and I had to come back home and get a job to try and go back and I remember being very upset I did a lot of soul searching and finding myself at this point and this album got me through those times and you & 1989 really taught me how to truly love myself and that I don’t need a relationship to make me happy and I stayed single for almost 4 years. Every song was just magical and fun like Wonderland, New Romantics, I Wish You Would and especially Style one of my all time favorites and slower songs like This Love, You Are In Love, Out Of The Woods and Wildest Dreams really tugged at the heartstrings a bit.

My favorite moment during this time was when I did an album review for 1989 as a Communications Studies project for my university newspaper The Muse and I remember taking a picture of the article when it got published and posted it on Tumblr and trying to get you to notice it and anyways a few days later you liked my review and I was literally so happy and was jumping up and down and couldn’t believe that the biggest pop star on the planet loved my review I never forgot it even to this day literally the best day of my life (until I meet you someday that is haha) so thank you for liking it and hopefully I can get your thoughts on it someday 😊😊.

Reputation came next and by 2017 I was back in the big city, I have a best friend and later found the love of my life Kim today ❤️❤️ Repuation while not the most relatable to my life was such an interesting and fascinating listen start to finish it was Taylor like we never seen her before and I really liked the badass side of you Taylor haha calling out the haters and the press doing things on your own terms and taking an emoji like a snake and turning it into a symbol of empowerment and I just loved that 😊. Look What You Made Do was such a jam through and through and Ready For it was the perfect starter ❤️❤️. The album was amazing Getaway Car is all time favorite on the album with its hint of 1989-ish synth pop throwbacks, Delicate was my favorite single because it was such a lighthearted pop song to bop to, End Game was truly amazing and probably the most relatable to me was the last two songs Call It What You Want and New Years Day where it definitely to when I met my Fiancé early last year ❤️❤️

And finally we get to Lover an album that I can honestly say is your best since Speak Now and truly another relatable album that reflects my life with my fiancé ❤️❤️ the title track is our song actually as it totally relates to our relationship and we are planning on making this the song that we are gonna dance to when we have our wedding ❤️❤️ and other songs like The Archer, Paper Rings & Daylight all reflect my relationship with Kim in some way and that make me truly happy ❤️❤️ and my favorite out of all them is Cruel Summer it’s such a jam and probably one of your best Taylor honestly 😊😊 and other songs like The Man & Soon You’ll Get Better are just amazing 😊😊. It goes to show that even to this day Taylor you still make such a huge impact on my life and I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d be if you and your music wasn’t there and for that I thank you so much for being a major part of my life ❤️❤️

So to conclude Taylor I truly grew up with your music and it was amazing to watch you grow as an artist and grow as a person you’re a fighter, you’re an independent strong woman, you’ve overcome many obstacles, You’re kind, generous, hilarious, you care about your fans and go above and beyond for us every day whether it’s 13 hour meet and greets or the secret sessions or Swiftmas or inviting one of your fans into your house or paying a fan’s student loans you’ve always took the extra mile and that’s one of many reasons why I love you and why you’re my favorite artist of all time you’re also very vocal about many issues that are near and dear to your heart like LGBT rights, voting rights and (especially recently when it comes to trying to regain ownership of your music) artists and other musical acts rights in the industry. You’re an inspiration to many thank you for being that voice.

I’m so happy that you and your music exist and thank you for being such an important of my life musically you’ve always been my role model and you and your music inspire me every single day. Happy ThirTAYth Birthday Taylor I hope you had the best day 😊😊 thank you and I love you and I hope someday we get to meet 😊😊

[portable-wing-wang]

Gender, Sexuality & Me

Right, here goes.

I've never properly talked about my gender or sexuality on here and feel as if I need to clear things up for friends, family and even myself.

Of course I'm very gender positive, I think everyone should explore themselves thoroughly in order to better understand their place in this world. What I experience will be different from other people and I may even disagree with others who share my experience as everyone is different. Just good to clear the air before we continue.

My name is Will(iam) Kirton. I was born at 1:04 AM on the 10th of April 2000. I was born with male attributes and was such designated a "boy". I have little problem with this. A baby knows itself very little and cannot comprehend itself properly and so adults assign labels which, for the most part, do help with development as a child is introduced to social spaces (schools etc.).

When young, gender means little and so I thought little of it. I never felt apart or different from my schoolmates. I did however feel uncomfortable and didn't know why. Constantly feeling as if I wasn't explaining myself properly and getting confused easily. I was bullied for this by many of the other boys and when trying to defend myself, I was made an outcast. This led to me to very female dominated spaces.

I tried my hardest to join the other boys (as I thought I was supposed to) but time and time again, I'd be pushed away. I did, however, make good friends with a few boys a couple of which I'm still friends with today. But my fondest memories come from my friendships with the girls and how they shaped me as a person.

I didn't know it then but through them I began to question myself, sub-conciously at first but very soon after it started to dominate my thinking. By the age of 14 I knew something was off for sure, but I didn't know what, so I started researching to find an answer.

First, I started to look at trans-folk and see how they saw it."Trans," Such an illusive word. To me it seemed so simple to begin with. Someone wanted to be something else because they felt uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable. "Maybe there's something in this?" I thought, so I kept digging here and there with little motivation until I was about 15 when GCSEs took over and I didn't have time to think about it much until the summer of 2016. The thoughts came back in a big way. Why? I started going to parties.

Now it may seem a little silly but getting drunk and forgetting to hide myself allowed me to express myself in ways I'd never had the chance to before. Mannerisms began to appear that I wasn't controlling intentionally. I started speaking differently, stopped feeling like I had to explain myself and started having fun. This was the next big step of my self-discovery.

I then started playing DnD. Now, laugh if you wish but I had a human bard character names Steve who I categorized as a projection of myself if a little exaggerated. While playing as Steve, those mannerisms I gained started to take over even when sober. This was the last proof I needed to know I was queer but I didn't know what labels to use. I settled with saying I just had "queer tendencies" and left it at that but I still felt uncomfortable when I wasn't playing Steve.

So, I'm definitely queer, that's for sure but what kind?

I'm researching properly now. And not just gender, but sexuality as well. Bi, pan, gay, ace, etc.. I looked up everything and kept finding new labels. To help ease my brain, I focused on sexuality first. I knew I liked girls but I also liked boys however both in different ways. I timidly said I was bi for a couple years and then came out properly soon after my 18th birthday. I felt comfortable. For now . . .

I was still, however, confused. I couldn't work out whether I was a boy or a girl and it kept making everything else seem so confusing. At this point (16 or so) most of my good friends were male, I was decent at sports and I had a big ol' bass voice. BOY, right?

But there was something still bugging me.

I couldn't figure it out. Not until the summer before Uni, something slipped into place. I had completed my A Levels, I was out as bi, my shitty friends had left me, all was good. Wrong. I was more tense than ever. All I could think about was gender. Gender this, gender that. Constantly thinking, even with the distraction of the Edinburgh Fringe. I was also listening to a lot of Steam Powered Giraffe who, of course, have a trans woman playing the "Rabbit" character. I was obsessed. I wanted to find out everything about her and luckily, she posted a whole set of videos cataloguing her transition and thoughts all the way through. Finally, someone was essentially saying to me clearly what "trans" actually meant. Things began to make sense. I knew then that I was probably not cis but i didn't really feel comfortable saying I was "fully" trans, if you get my meaning.

But then I went to Uni. I finally had a chance to express myself freely and boy oh boy, did I do just that. I became so much more feminine than I ever had been in my life. It was so freeing. But I still didn't feel trans.

Then, someone introduced me to the concept of being "non-binary". A new term. I hadn't heard of it before. Is it like being trans? Or something completely different. I dived in head-first and came out the other end with even more answers but so many more questions.

Finally, I took the plunge (I'm sorry for so many swimming metaphors).

One evening in February 2019 after Uni I was in the loo before a musicals rehearsal. I hadn't felt well all day and was wearing something particularly feminine and caught myself in the mirror. I studied myself for a good few minutes. Each detail, each curve, how my body felt and looked in the clothes I was wearing. I stood there staring. Luckily no one walked in on me.

And something just clicked. After so many years of worrying and tensing, I finally understood. I was genderqueer.

Now, I should explain (here I go again), I didn't just decide then and there. I few months prior, my new uni friend "tom" (she goes by a different name now) had introduced me to a youtuber called Contrapoints. Before anyone says anything, I know she's caused a lot of discourse but I don't feel as if this is the right time to make any cases. Anyway, she didn't used to be openly trans and used to go by the label genderqueer. At the time, she made a very comprehensive video explaining what is and what it meant for her.

It intrigued me so, naturally, I did some more research and found that it fit my situation quite adequately but I didn't feel comfortable falling myself "genderqueer" yet either.

For those who don't know, genderqueer is an umbrella term for a wide range of traits which are either predominantly female, male or androgynous. It doesn't necessarily have a perfect definition and can be different for anybody who identify themselves as such.

My own genderqueerness could be described as a complete rejection of the male binary and so I carry more female and androgynous traits. This affects the way I speak, move my body, dress and my perspective on greater society. I also experience gender dysphoria. Now, to some, this would mean I was most likely just trans and using this a stopping-point before going further. This I feel is not the case. Whilst I am made uncomfortable by my flat chest, copious hair and broad shoulders, I do not feel the same about my genitalia or Adam's apple.

There are also more political connotations with the term genderqueer over non-binary. Genderqueer is a lot more aggressive but it gets the point across more clearly but I wouldn't say I wasn't non-binary. In fact, I think they're one and the same in practice but I do use my identity as a statement and so the genderqueer label feels more appropriate.

So yeah, I came out as genderqueer that February evening. First to my partner, then my friends and only now, almost a year later, am I attempting with my family.

I am so much happier for it too. I kept myself hidden for so long and have only now started to just accept myself and give in to the voice in my head telling me to let go. I'm much more relaxed too. Since coming out and using more neutral and even feminine pronouns, my dysphoria has become less of an issue. I still get it and I have bad days of course but for the first time in a long time, things are looking up.

I can't change the world, but I've been able to find myself in it more clearly and that helps a bunch.

TL;DR: I'm genderqueer. I'm bisexual. I've been out for a considerable time now and feeling better because of it.

Anyway, if you did read the whole thing, thank you. I'm not saying this'll be the same forever but this is me now and I'm still breathing so come get me world!

Feel free to reblog this, I hope it helps others realise themselves too.

[princeescaluswords]

Tragedy of the Good Boy

One of the things that attracts me to Scott McCall is how much I can relate to a particular burden his character carries throughout the seasons: the expectation that he has to be better than everyone else on the show.   All the heroic things that Scott does – and they’ve been listed out time and time again – are done consistently without expectation of reward and, in the end, most of them are actually done without reward.   In fact, his attempts to save people often cost him a lot in physical pain, emotional pain, and life opportunities.

Scott’s aware of this, yet he does it anyway because he’s the good boy.

The production starts out establishing his attitude when they introduce him.  He was dedicated to improving himself so he can make first line, but he wouldn’t blow off his best friend to do it.  He won Allison, not through sports prowess, but through kindness.  He offered her a pen when she needed one, and he comforted her when she hits a dog with her car.  His teachers were surprised at the drop in his grades and truancy. Melissa worried that his new behavior wasn’t like him.   Deaton said “You’re literally the least slacking kid in this city.”   He’s presented as a kid who doesn’t act out, even though he had a father who is obviously voluntarily absent from his life and a mother who worked ridiculous hours.  He got up to some hijinks, like playing ball in the house with Stiles, but he didn’t get into any serious trouble.  He’s responsible, he’s compassionate, and he’s moral.

We can reasonably assume these are part of the reason he rejects the idea repeatedly put forward by Peter, Chris, Derek, Gerard, and Deucalion – all the villains really – that he has to abandon this part of himself.   We can reasonably assume it’s why he tries to save Jackson and Lydia and Boyd and Isaac and all the other people he tries to save.  It’s who he is.    

But’s it’s also why he submits to letting Stiles make him his pet super-hero; why the only way he reacts to Derek is to employ him in defeating Gerard and then refuse to follow him after Derek has consistently hurt and betrayed him and tried to murder innocent people; why he doesn’t hold it against his mother when she refuses to talk to him for a week.   It’s why he only expresses his anger at Isaac for moving in on Allison after Isaac has moved into his house and his life when he’s consumed by the darkness of the Nemeton sacrifice.   It’s why he follows Liam into the tunnels under Beacon Hills after Liam nearly beat him to death and only expresses his anger about this terrible betrayal when white boys give him permission to do so.

Because he’s the good boy.   Good boys save people.  Good boys help people. Good boys stuff their fear and their anger down so they can be what everyone else needs rather than what they need.  It’s why he can try to stop Theo from falling for the Surgeon’s taunts even though Theo tried to destroy everything that Scott cherished and even takes a step forward to save Theo from Hell mere moments after Theo tried to kill him once again.

Why is this a tragedy? Because when someone is established as the good boy, the audience comes to expect them to be good, in the same way as when someone is established as a bad boy, the audience comes to expect him to be bad.  Derek feeling up Erica in the hospital isn’t taken as a sign of him being a sexual predator because Derek’s already a bad boy anyway.  After all, he’s been through the metaphorical ringer, so we’re supposed to give him a break. Yet Scott sitting on Allison’s roof to make sure she doesn’t get attacked by the alpha is stalking, because he’s a good boy.   Stiles lying to the entire pack about Donovan, sabotaging the investigation into who was taking the chimeras’ bodies, and allowing himself to be blackmailed by Theo wasn’t taken as a sign of selfish treachery, because Stiles was already a Bad Boy anyway.  After all, he was possessed and his mother died hating him.  Yet Scott not believing Stiles after catching Stiles’ lying to him is a sign of bad leadership and bad friendship, because Bad Boy Stiles can be flawed, but Good Boy Scott must be perfect.  

Fandom sorting these men into these categories is a tragedy because people don’t really work the way those categories require.   There is no biological factor that makes you morally gray, just as there’s no secret blessing from the universe that makes you effortlessly good.   All these things are choices – and sometimes characters make the good choice for which we should cheer, and sometimes characters make the bad choice for which we should hold them responsible. 

In my opinion, the production – I’m not sure whether they did this on purpose but hope springs eternal – focused on this as well.  The longer the show went on, the more they indicated the price of Scott being the good boy by portraying him as trapped by his own virtues.  Think about it: in 5B, there’s not even a single moment when any character wonders if the True Alpha is going to get back up and battle against people who’ve demonstrated that they can defeat him effortlessly.  There’s not a single scene where Scott ponders saying “Fuck it, let Sheriff ‘The Law is the Law until My Son is Involved’ Stilinski deal with the Dread Doctors, I’m moving to San Francisco.”  We get those moments like this for Stiles, for Malia, for Liam, for everyone, but never Scott.  His behavior is taken for granted by ever other character, and even by himself.

In Season 6, they don’t even bother to have Scott try to send Peter back to Eichen House or punch Theo in the throat a few times to balance things out.  In Season 6, there’s not even a moment where Scott contemplates going to UC Davis and letting the adults handle the Anuk-Ite.   Even more telling, not a single character really gives Scott’s future that much thought – Melissa tries half-heartedly in 6B, but she abandons that position as soon as humanly possible.   Malia gets to whine about going to France, and Liam gets to pout about not being able to handle things, yet Scott is not only there to fight the Ghost Riders and Monroe’s crusade, but he also has to give up his position as Lacrosse team captain to focus on his grades, like a Good Boy.  And in the end, giving it up was all for naught, because the show ends with him miserably fighting a war years after he’s graduated.

The worst scene ever is the one where Argent, of all people, goes to Melissa with an evaluation of his father’s plans in 6B, and Melissa – completely unrecognizable as a mother – scolds Argent for even suggesting that Scott’s life is worth more than fighting for a town that is turning against him.   She’d rather see him dead and in the ground than have Scott put himself first for even one second.  I mean, his life has already gone to shit by his 18th birthday, with torture, violation, betrayal, mutilation, a girlfriend murdered and a girlfriend lost, possible forever, so if he gets gunned down in the street like a dog, is it really a big deal?  The whole concept that Scott might have a choice about whether he wants to risk his life and future after everything else he’s done is simply not addressed.   Why should it be?

This is what happens to Good Boys.   If they make the correct choice, if they do what they should do, other people consider them boring, take them for granted, or even worse – when they finally do decide to do something for themselves, it’s seen as a betrayal.   Eventually, they’re not even given a choice; it’s simply what is.  Instead, they’re supposed to be good and do good in the background forever and ever, while the Bad Boys violently scheme or angst uselessly in the foreground.

[defencelesslou]

the year 2037

Summary: Just read it :) (includes an aged up morgan stark, 18, i wrote it so she was born in 2019 because to me that just makes sense, also steves dead sorry, he an old old old man, aNYWAY HAVE FUN KIDDOS)

Word Count: a little over 2k?

Tags:  @2girlsofpallettown @what-the-hell-mate @zooniah @starkslovebot @spidermansmj14 @tomholland-mcu @trustfundparker @dorkerooni @captainfabulous1 @keylla-dunspeh @avatar-astrid @gabiatthedisco @firewhiskey-and-butterbeer (strike through means I was unable to tag you)

(I apologize if the read more button does not work and I apologize that this fic is absolute trash I tried my best but I’m the worst writer. But I hope you all enjoy anyway). 

It’s the year 2037.

It’s been 14 years since Tony Stark sacrificed himself to save the universe from Thanos.

It’s been 14 years of living in a world without Tony Stark/Iron Man.

It’s been 14 years since Pepper Potts-Stark lost her husband.

It’s been 14 years since James Rhodes and Happy Hogan lost their best friend.

It’s been 14 years since Peter Parker lost his third father figure.

It’s been 14 years since Morgan Stark lost her father.

And today was Morgan’s 18th birthday.

“Morgan the guests are coming soon!” Pepper yells from the kitchen where she was preparing all the food for the small gathering she had arranged for Morgan. “I’ll be down in a minute!” Morgan yells back as she slips on her shoes and looks at herself in her full-length mirror. She stares at a picture of her father which she taped onto her mirror and softly smiles.

“I’m 18 now dad..” She whispers to herself as she sighs. She wipes the lone tear that streaked down her face as she breathes out shakily. It was hard. It was hard knowing she had the best dad in the world yet had very few memories of him. But that’s life. People lose their dads. That’s life. Morgan smiles as she remembers a memory from when she was 13, Harley visiting her and her mum and telling her about the time Tony had told Harley that dad’s leave and that’s life. That’s life.

Morgan shakes her hands and opens her door walking out to go downstairs. Right as she gets to the bottom of the steps there’s a knock on the door. She runs to answer it and open’s the door to see her Uncle Clint and his family.

“Happy birthday beautiful!” Aunt Laura exclaims as she leans in for a hug. Morgan gladly accepts the hug as she closes her eyes. She hugs her Uncle and his kids one by one as she welcomes them inside. “Mums in the kitchen but feel free to go out back,” She says to them with a smile as she gratefully grabs their gift from them.

-

Once all of the guests had arrived they all mingle with each other greeting Morgan with smiles, hugs and cheek kisses. She sits next to Peter on the jetty as he has an arm around her shoulder, her head resting against his shoulder.

After their dad died they had gotten significantly closer, relying on each other constantly. They had an unbreakable brotherly sister love. It was beautiful.

“Peter?” Morgan asks softly, moving her head away from his shoulder as she looks up at him, he sends her a small smile.

“What is it Morgs?” He questions looking down at her. Morgan looks out at the river, looking down she sees a lone, wilted flower floating. “Do you miss him?” She asks looking back up at him. He tightens his arm around her as she asks that, stifling his breath.

“I always do,” He whispers to her, she hums leaning her head back on his shoulder.

“I always wondered what it would be like to see him again, even just for a second.” She says playing with her fingers.

Peter’s head snaps to her as she says that, knowing in his mind that there is a way for that, it’s all up to if they’re allowed to. Because he would give anything to see him again, anything.

Before he can reply, Pepper yells for them to come back so that they can open her presents altogether. He motions for Morgan to get up as he does and they walk together back to where the others were waiting for them.

“Okay, it’s present time! Morgan go ahead,” Her mum says with a smile.

Morgan opens all the presents one by one, thanking her family for them. She tears up at a few of their presents as they remind her of her dad. Her favourite present so far was Peters. It was a mini version of her dads first arc reactor in the form of a necklace. She puts it on straight away.  From the corner of her eye, she could see Pepper wipe away some stray tears that fell down her face.

After she finished opening all the present she thanks them all again before going to put all the wrapping paper in the bin but is stopped by her mother.

“Morgan there’s one more thing. You haven’t opened your fathers present yet.” Morgan freezes, dropping all the wrapping paper as she turns around slowly. “M-my dads present?” She stutters out her eyes wide. Pepper nods before pulling out a small hologram device from behind her setting it on the table. The whole room is silent as Morgan moves towards it.

Her hand hovers over the play button as she looks up at Peter, he nods his head, his eyes also wide. Shakily she presses play and a hologram of her father appears and she covers her mouth with her hands as she sits on the floor staring at him.

“Hey my Morguna, I hope that your mother actually did as was instructed on the note and you’re receiving this on your 18th birthday. I don’t really know what I should say. I’m sorry I made you wait until you were 18 for you to receive this. Happy birthday Morgan. Wow 18, that’s huge, you’re an adult now. I’m uh, sorry that I couldn’t be there to watch you grow up, I wish I could have been but, hey, saving the universe. I hope everything’s going good, that you and your mother are happy. I hope you’re all together as a big happy family. They’re good, yeah all of them, they’re all good. They love you so much, even the ones you don’t know yet, well you would have met them by now. Peter. Yeah, Peter is the one I’m most excited for you to meet, I hope you two get close. I always saw him as your big brother, he’s like a son to me. He’s a good kid, and you’re a good kid, so you will be safe with him, always, I trust him. But this isn’t about Peter, this is about you. My beautiful daugher, I can’t believe you are mine. It’s unbelievable really. I never thought I was going to be a good father, but I think I’m doing a good job so far. Anyway, Happy birthday Morguna. I love you 3000. Always.”

As the clip finishes Morgan has tears streaming down her face and she chokes out a sob as her dad disappears from in front of her. Her family surrounds her in a big group hug, all of them in tears after that heartfelt message.

-

After the majority of the people had left, leaving only Peter and Uncle Bruce remaining with Pepper and Morgan.

“So Morgan, I actually have something I want to give you but I need to talk to your mother first,” Bruce trails off as he goes to talk to Pepper leaving Peter and Morgan alone. Morgan furrows her eyebrows, “What do you think it is?” She asks, Peter answers with a quiet “I have no idea,” and they wait for Bruce and Pepper to come back from their talk.

After around 15 minutes Pepper and Bruce come back and Pepper has tear marks but she wipes them away hastily. Peppers smiles at the pair as Bruce walks over closer to them. He kneels down in front of them giving them a comforting smile.

“Okay so, I talked to your mother and she said that she thinks this would be a great idea but both her and I want Peter to go with you and I agree,” He stops talking looking at them. “What are you talking about?”  Morgan asks confused.

Bruce hands over two red and white suits and 4 viles of red liquid. Morgan instantly knows what they are and she looks at Peter who’s eyes are wide in shock. They’re both speechless. “U-Uncle Bruce..” She whispers and looks at her mum before shooting up and running to Pepper giving her a hug, afterwards pulling her uncle into a hug. Peter was still sitting on the couch in shock but a smile makes its way onto his face.

Pepper looks at Peter and says, “What do you say, Pete, you up for a little time travel?”

-

Morgan, Bruce, Peter and Pepper walk down the porch steps, walking over to the machine which was going to help them to see their dad again. Peter carries a bag carrying the clothes they were previously wearing so that they could change once they’re back in time. 2016 to be exact.

“Okay so we have 2 passes into the MIT Alumni Presentation, then make sure you use your other passes to get backstage where you will hopefully, meet him. Peter, yeah you already know you have to use the mask that Nat used to conceal her face. Don’t say anything that will mess all this up, I know you won’t, you’re good kids.”

Morgan and Peter both stand on top of the machine, Pepper sends both a small smile and kisses them both on the cheek before standing next to Bruce.

“Are you guys ready?” Bruce asks, the pair look at each other before nodding and pressing the button on their watches and suddenly they were in Massachusetts 2016 inside the university.

“Huh, I thought that was going to feel a lot weirder,” Morgan says as she looks at Peter who has a hand on his stomach. “Well I definitely feel weird,” Peter laughs and hands Morgan her clothes out of her bag motioning towards a closet for her to change in.

-

“Is this really happening? Are we really going to see him again?” Morgan whispers to Peter as they sit in their assigned seats waiting for Tony’s presentation to begin. Peter nods before swinging an arm around her shoulder for comfort.

Then all of a sudden holograms appear and it’s a set up which shows a young Tony Stark and his parents. Morgan lifts a hand to her face and Peter rubs her shoulder holding his breath.

“That’s how I wished it happened. By merely augmented retro framing or ‘B.A.R.F’. God, I got to work on that acronym.”

Both Peter and Morgan tense as they see Tony Stark talking on the stage. A huge smile lights up Morgan’s face as a few tears slide down her face. Peter has the ghost of a smile on his face, wishing that this was 2023 Tony that was alive and not dead from the snap.

“An extremely costly method, of hijacking the hippocampus to clear… traumatic memories. It doesn’t change the fact that they never made it to the airport or the things I did to avoid processing my grief. Plus 611 million dollars for my little therapeutic experiment. No one in the right mind would ever fund it. Help me out.” As Tony continues talking Morgan and Peter get up using Bruces technology to conceal themselves from the world to sneak off backstage.

When they’re out of sight they can hear Tony still rambling on. Peter puts on the mask to change his face and Morgan puts on her new pass, Peter following suit.

“Starting now. Go break some eggs.” Tony finishes his presentation before heading backstage where Morgan and Peter get a closer view of him. They see him talking to a few of the workers though he looks dazed and as if he doesn’t care. Peter looks at Morgan and she nods as they go ahead with their little plan.

Tony walks to the bathroom but before he gets close to there Morgan bumps into him in her fast paced walk and falls to the ground. Tony stops and turns around as Morgan wipes her hands on her pants, he lends her a hand.

“I’m s-so sorry Mr Stark,” She says quietly looking into her fathers eyes her hand in his as he helps her up, Peter then comes along to stand beside her asking her if she’s alright.

“It’s alright, sorry for bumping into yo- hey nice necklace,” Tony says pointing to her mini arc reactor necklace, “You a fan?” He asks.

“I mean, who isn’t?” She says, her hand withdrawing from his. He chuckles before mumbling something a long the lines of “quite a few people” under his breathe, but Peter picked up on it, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Well, would you kids like a quick photo then?” Tony asks and Peter scrambles to get out his phone as Morgan nods her eyes wide but a smile permanently stuck on her face. They take a selfie as Tony puts up a peace sign and both Morgan and Peter have big smiles on their faces.

“Thank you, Mr Stark, this means a lot to us you have no idea,” Peter says as he puts his phone back in his pocket. Tony shakes his head a small smile on his face as he mumbles a “no problem,”.

“What’re your names?” He asks the two as they stutter out responses,

“My name is Morgan Stark,” “Uh R-richard Stark sir,” Both of them yelling at themselves inside for saying Stark. Tony’s eyes widen slightly and he lets out a small laugh,

“Starks hey? Huh, maybe we’re related,” Tony exclaims jokingly.

-

When the pair are finally back in 2037 Pepper, Peter and Morgan are huddled together in a group hug on Morgans bed, with the latter holding a newly printed picture of her, her dad, and her brother.

[harryandmolly]

i could write it better than you ever felt it - FINAL

summary: fuck growing up. this is freedom, this is life, this is youth – 2007 Warped Tour style.

warnings: Language, vintage Something Corporate, oversugaring tea amidst Londoners

word count:��5.2k

A/N: this is it, fam! thanks for coming along in my time machine. I hope it’s everything you dreamed it would be. Shawn’s song is “As You Sleep” by Something Corporate, highly recommend a listen. thank you for everything you are and everything you give me. I love you guys.

Lucky 13.

The emblem of the 2007 Warped Tour has surrounded her all summer, but it feels especially present today somehow, on the last day of tour in Carson, California.

It seems a contradiction in terms, lucky 13, which Val supposes is probably the idea. She knows it’s a cheeky nod to the counterculture vibe that Warped Tour represents, but it also feels representative of her in some ways.

Val’s had a very contemplative and quiet three weeks since she gathered her things and walked out of that hotel room, leaving the scribbled note on the pillow behind her. She’s turned inward, no longer hounded by her conflict with Raf or Bea, able to focus on herself for the first time in a few months. And she’s picked out a few things that coincide with the theme of the summer.

Val is often reckless, and sometimes maternal. Val is book smart, and also street smart. Val embraces academia, but sometimes thinks she could drown herself in music and never read books again. Val is vibrant even when she is broken.

Humans are made up of contradictions, Val knows that as well as anyone. She is not suddenly realizing that she is not only one thing -- her dichotomies are not really news to her. But as she thinks about the people she loves most, she sees the way certain parts of their personalities bump up against other parts and fight for dominance, and she loves them more richly for it.

Humans are made up of contradictions and Val is embracing that from here on out. She arrived on the first day of Warped wearing a blink t-shirt with a textbook on Ming dynasty art in her trunk. All summer, she studied the ways she doesn’t fit in here in the scene anymore like she was looking for reasons to make a clean split and join her adult life across the pond. But the truth is, she failed. She looked for the ways that made her feel different from this world that she helped in her small way to build, but it’s as much a home to her as academia is and it will never truly feel foreign, no matter how many hours she spends crouched over a 9th century vase with a tiny brush. So her biggest contradiction, her inner strife over choosing academia over pop punk, it fades into her skin like her tattoo, as much a part of her as the dimple in her chin or the curls in her hair that she decided not to straighten today.

Val walks the grounds as the sun begins to fade. The last sets of the day are in progress or being set up. With earbuds in playing Boys Like Girls, she strolls between booths of merch people clinking beers and congratulating each other on a summer well done, between groups of kids comparing signed merch, between crew guys beginning to break down and pack away equipment to be pulled out next June for another go around.

She imagines who she’ll be next June.

She walks slowly on her way to Smartpunk. It seems her body is just as hesitant as her mind to attend this one last set, but she’s doing it anyway. She’s not sure why -- to prove a point to herself? To indulge in the talent one last time? To try to believe in a miracle?

She doesn’t like any of those options. She settles on curiosity and keeps her feet moving in uncharacteristically small steps.

She stands at the back, nice and far from any moshing action, by the All Time Low booth so she can sit on the edge of the table without getting grief from Vinny Vegas.

She wears a small smirk as the space around her fills in. It seems every Warped attendee is a Forefront convert now. She doesn’t blame them. But damn is it a far cry from their first sets in June.

They’re announced over the yelping cries of fans wearing out their last screams of summer. They hustle out in a group, with their tall, gawky frontman bringing up the rear as usual. He plants himself in front of the mic and swings one powerful arm above his head with a wild grin to wave as his adoring fans.

And it begins.

They put on a hell of a show. It’s not a given -- just because you’re good in the studio doesn’t mean you have the chemistry or energy to do well live. There are special bands that make a live concert a nearly religious experience -- her friends in Paramore and All Time Low among them. Forefront has gotten their sea legs this summer and won’t easily lose them now.

She takes the time to notice each member -- passionate, goofy Francis on rhythm guitar, hard-hitting, soft-spoken Seth on the drums, raucous pretty boy bassist Bobby. And then Shawn, switching between his keyboard and guitar effortlessly like he was born with a damn instrument in his hand, charisma leaking out of him all over the stage, making everyone in a fifteen mile radius certain that he’s born to do this.

She closes her eyes through the end of “Open End” and waits for “Swim” to start. When Shawn switches back to the keys at this point in the set, he usually engages in some chit chat with the boys or yammers on to the fans about how much they inspire him or whatever. But he’s quiet and the air around the stage is tense because everyone knows something’s up.

Val opens her eyes. He’s where she expected him to be, propped at the edge of his bench with his fingers resting over the keys, looking down at them frozen.

“We’re gonna play you a new one today.”

Val’s stomach falls out and flops into the dirt at her feet. She’s glad she’s sitting on the table because she can’t feel her legs. She overwhelmed by certainty that whatever’s about to happen, it’s going to be personal. And it’s going to hurt like hell.

Shawn is quiet for a few more electrically charged moments before he closes his eyes, rolls his shoulders forward and leans into the mic, singing before the instruments join him.

“Close your eyes and I will be swimming, lullabies fill your room, and I will be singing, singing only to you. Don’t forget I’ll hold your head, watch the night sky fading red.”

His fingers work furiously against the keys. The piano line is so intricate and shows off his talent for the instrument in a way she’s never seen. He keeps his eyes down at his hands as they dance, distracting him enough from the content of the lyrics so he can get through them without breaking down like he did when he wrote it.

“But as you sleep, and no one is listening, I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking. Don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you. Soon I'll be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me.”

Val closes her eyes again and lets herself fall back into their last night, into their frantic lovemaking punctuated by irresponsible, unkeepable promises. She thinks about the weight of his legs between hers as she drifted off with him in the last full night sleep she got on tour. She remembers the way she let her hand rest on his side of the bed to try to tell when he left by how cool to the touch it felt.

“In the car, the radio leaves me searching for your star, a constellation of frustration driving home, singing my thoughts back to me, and watching heartache on TV.”

It feels so good to get this out, Shawn thinks as he hits each note just the way he wants it. This song came spilling out after their last night together in a way that felt too easy. After all that he put her through, he doesn’t deserve to have his art come easy. But art is never fair.

“But as you sleep, and no one is listening, I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking. Don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you. Soon I'll be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me.”

By the second chorus, Val knows the words. It’s hard not to zero in when you know they’re about you. She notes the way the crowd reacts, arms in the air waving at him like he’s Jimi Hendrix, cheering along, eating up everything he gives them.

Good, she thinks, he deserves it.

The lead into the bridge is still piano heavy, but his fingers know the strokes of the keys as well as his heart does, so he gets to sit up and look around, grinning as their fans cheer, watching the sky explode vibrant summer watercolors over the trees on the horizon. A thick, soothing breeze passes through.

He looks back through to where he saw her a few songs ago. He lets his gaze stay there long enough that she knows now that she’s been spotted. He licks his lips and leans into the mic, but keeps his eyes up at her, perched on the ATL merch table like she owns it.

He repeats the lyrics even though each word feels like tearing at scabs that won’t be healing for a while. He pours it all in, everything he has left, every piece of I’m sorry, every hint of thank you, every whisper of I love you, it soars out over the heads of the fans who love the words but don’t know the boy that wrote them.

They’re for her.

As the final note fades out under sweeping cries of gratitude from the scene kids that came to celebrate their home and community, Val stands, brushes the dust from her skinny jeans and secures her earbuds back in place. With a final nodding smile to Vinny, she turns from the stage and walks off in gigantic, loping steps to read about John Singer Sergeant and listen to Dookie on repeat.

+++++++

December 18th, 2017

Shawn doesn’t often fit most musician stereotypes -- he doesn’t drink too heavily, he doesn’t do any drug harder than weed, he’s kind of a serial monogamist.

But he does love a moody walk along a body of water.

With a pair of good headphones, a carefully curated playlist and a path along the water, Shawn can figure out anything. When he gets stuck on a song, he goes to the water. When he’s in a weird spot with someone he’s dating, he goes to the water. He doesn’t like to get too spiritual about it, but it does feel somehow clarifying.

So one afternoon in London when the sun is out and the Londoners are out with it, Shawn decides to join them. He’s there on business promoting the latest Forefront album with a Live Lounge performance on BBC Radio 1 with Nick Grimshaw. He’s jetlagged and a little turned around by the Underground system like he usually is when in London but he’s otherwise feeling just fine. He just needs a walk by the water today. He tries not to look too closely at why.

He bundles up in the Barbour jacket his mum got him last Christmas and sets off down the stairs into the opulent Savoy hotel lobby decked out with a Christmas tree in every corner and fresh garland wrapped around every non-moving object in sight. He smiles at it -- nobody does Christmas like the Brits. He’s looking forward to going home in a few days to see his mum and the rest of his family and decompress for a few weeks before heading back over to the UK to write and record their next album.

He gets reflective like this -- the combination of the water and the music offer him perspective he can’t usually reach otherwise. He tucks his hands in his pockets and sets off through the garden that opens up into the Victoria Embankment Gardens, usually lush and green in the spring and summer, full of life and people. He likes it like this, though, cold and quiet and almost like a little secret.

2017 has been good to him. Forefront played seven new countries this year on their world tour in celebration of their sixth studio album. He’s gotten a little better over the years about being more present in those moments rather than looking forward anxiously to the next album and the expectations that surround it. That attitude really spoiled the last few records, but the new friends he’s made in the industry have helped guide him through that. He’s even becoming friends with the Irish guy from One Direction now, though they had very different paths to the music industry. He seems like a cool guy.

Personally, 2017 wasn’t really a banner year. He broke up with Jess in April after almost a full year. He’s had a few of those lately -- relationships that start hot and don’t make it past a year mark. He should take a closer look at that and figure out why he can’t seem to stay in a relationship for longer than 11 months, but he’s too tired to think about it now. It’s been a long fuckin’ year.

It’s been a long ten years, actually, since Joy Ride. He thinks back to the show they played at home in Toronto over the summer to celebrate the big anniversary. They played the whole album start to finish, something they’ve never gotten to do. Being immersed in it like that brings back a lot of memories of that summer when everything really kicked off. Not all those memories are ones Shawn likes to think about.

He doesn’t think about Valentina much. It’s by design. He doesn’t even play “As You Sleep” as often as it’s requested. It just… doesn’t feel healthy for him. He’ll pull it out every once in a while when curiosity gets the best of him, when it’s been long enough that he forgets how sharply he still feels every word of that song. He usually regrets it.

He lets himself wonder about her sometimes, like today when he’s knee deep in nostalgia anyway. He still sees Raf and the other Streets guys. They went on a hiatus for a while around 2013 but are back again recording a new record somewhere in Malibu, from what Shawn’s heard. When he sees them, he doesn’t ask about her. He doesn’t want her knowing he’s asking. And he thinks sometimes he doesn’t want to know what she’s really up to, he’d rather imagine.

He falls into his favorite daydream. He likes to think she stayed in the UK (he always felt like that was the place for her to end up). Maybe she got a job in conservation at Oxford or Cambridge or some other hoity-toity university. Maybe she met a nice, polite, skinny, bookish English guy who looks at her like a miracle every time she speaks to him. Maybe they had a small wedding at his local church and his family loves her because she’s colorful and articulate. Maybe they have dogs -- sheepdogs or setters or something, good country dogs. And maybe they’ve had a little girl.

That’s where he usually shuts the daydream down. For obvious reasons.

But when he doesn’t, he thinks about her and who she might be. He thinks about thick, lush curls flopped over a tiny forehead. He thinks about pouty little lips and a chin dimple that matches her mother’s. He thinks about little feet that kick hard because she’d have to be strong, of course.

Now that he’s letting himself think about it, he thinks maybe she’d look kinda like the kid that’s staring at him, reaching out from her pram that’s parked next to the bench he’s strolling past. He smiles at her and she beams back with a grin that has only two teeth. It makes Shawn laugh.

He glances over at her lucky mum or dad.

And it’s almost like he expected it, like it had to be her. I mean, this kid really couldn’t have been anyone but Val’s. She’s just… so Val.

So when Shawn looks her over, from her sweeping dark curls and her leather trousers and her ankle boots, he’s barely even surprised to see her. He just tips his head back and chuckles at the universe.

“Hey mister,” she calls, and her voice sets his skin rough with goosebumps, “Can I have your autograph?”

Shawn lets go of where he’s holding on to the wrought iron fence above the banks of the Thames and walks over, his chelsea boots scratching at the frosty stone.

She doesn’t stand to greet him. She’s got a similar look on her face, bemused acknowledgement of fate and its tricks, like she was thinking about him too and they both somehow willed this to happen. Her long slender legs are crossed. She has one black leather-gloved hand in the pram in the grasp of her little girl who’s chewing on her finger and no longer paying Shawn any attention.

“Hey, Vally,” he sighs. He doesn’t mean to call her that, it just happens. She doesn’t visibly react beyond a slightly deeper dimple in her cheek, so he figures he scraped by with that one.

“Were you on your way somewhere?” she asks, glancing back as if she realized she might be taking him away from something.

He shakes his head. “No, I just-- I’m staying at the Savoy and I like these gardens. I just wanted a walk.” He has enough presence of mind to pause his music. He doesn’t bother to mention it’s an old Streets song. That she wrote.

“We like it out here. We live over by the Farringdon stop but we take the train out here because we like the waterfowl.”

Val looks down at the pram as she speaks. Shawn takes that as an invitation to acknowledge her more formally.

“Who’s this?” he asks breathlessly.

“This is Alice,” Val replies with as much pride as he’s ever heard from any mother, “Alice Fernanda Moreno, she’s nine months old and very hefty for her age because we run a body positive household and she loves mashed carrot and swede.”

Shawn lifts a hand and waves in that open-close way he does like he’s a big toddler himself. Alice kicks hard and squeals at him.

“She’s… so beautiful,” he marvels. Val’s smug smile tells him she agrees. Shawn doesn’t share his next thought because it feels like a line and he doesn’t want to go there.

Because she looks exactly like you.

“I picked out a real pretty one,” she jokes, tightening the wrap of the thick wool blankets around Alice as she yawns.

Shawn continues staring at her openly, trying to pick out features that could belong to any potential father, but as far as he can tell, Alice is simply a clone of Val. It’s Val’s throat clearing that brings him back.

“Sit, Mendes,” she suggests, patting the warped wooden bench. Shawn lowers himself on the other side of the pram as Val rocks it back and forth with her foot.

“She’s been fussy today, but it’s naptime. She has to give in eventually,” Val mutters like she’s reasoning with herself. Shawn grins.

“You have a daughter.”

Val doesn’t look up from the pram as she rocks it. She just nods and snuggles into her prim peacoat.

“I have a daughter.”

Shawn can’t bring himself to ask. She’s wearing gloves so he can’t see if she’s wearing a ring. He stays quiet and studies her instead.

She looks largely the same, barely even older than she did at 22. Her sense of style is maybe the only thing he can see that’s changed in the ten years since he’s seen her last. There’s something comforting in that.

He wonders if he seems different. He works out more now, eats right. He’s definitely put on a whole lot of muscle since he was scrounging for burger scraps on Warped. He’s gotten a few more tattoos she can’t see. He also has an actual stylist now, which is sometimes weird, but he’s elevated the black skinnies, Vans and band tees to black skinnies, $800 boots and silk button-ups. So there’s that.

He’s still got that lip ring though.

But… he wonders if he seems different. If he carries himself differently. If he comes off more confident, more calm, less wide-eyed and wondering.

Because she seems the same. She’s always glowed from the inside out like this. Maybe the glow feels a little stronger now. Or maybe it’s just because she glows through herself and her baby girl all at once. Shawn sits back and watches them -- he could bathe in it all day.

“You know it’s been ten years?” she breathes.

Shawn nods slowly. “I know. Kinda feels like 40.”

She laughs and a piece of him astral projects back to nights tangled up in her bunk kissing her neck and trying to keep her quiet so her brother won’t come mock them from outside the bunk curtain.

“It does,” she muses, “But sometimes it feels like fifteen minutes ago, too.”

Shawn tips his head back and sniffs, looking up through a tall pine as its needles shiver.

“Has your decade been good to you?” she murmurs. He lifts his head back up. She’s staring down at the baby.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s been great. We’ve toured a lot, done a few more albums. The guys and I, I mean, you know us, we’d push each other in front of a bus most days, but we’re brothers and maybe obsessed with each other, too. We’re on a great ride.”

Val lifts her eyes to his briefly, all too knowingly, and lowers them back to the pram. “That’s good.”

Shawn shakes his head. “That’s not even at all what you meant, was it?”

“Nope.”

Shawn goes quiet, contemplative. Val waits him out until he’s ready.

“It’s harder than I thought it would be,” he chokes finally, “Everything about it. Writing after Joy Ride, it was… it got bad. I mean, I was ok, like fundamentally, but I didn’t feel good. We had so many eyes on us. We had no idea what to do, just like no one else does. Some tours were great, some were bad. And the whole deal makes everything else harder. It’s hard on my family, my friends. I… I haven’t been in an actual good relationship in… five years, at least. This year was better. We’ve gotten our feet back under us. I let it all out in the last album, and that helped.”

“I know, I heard it.”

Shawn looks up from Val’s hands in the pram. For the first time all morning, he’s really, truly shocked to the bone.

“You did?”

Val doesn’t answer him exactly, just mutters something about needing to get the baby inside and announces they’ll head down the lane for a cup of tea. She leads them to a little corner coffee shop made for hipsters, not for women with very expensive prams, but Val doesn’t seem to care and parks in the corner by the fire. She layers down, stripping off her scarf and coat to a black turtleneck. Her cheeks go warm as she settles in and orders for them.

Shawn keeps his mouth shut and tries not to do the mental math of how many of the songs he’s released in the last ten years have been written about her, and exactly how many of them she might have noticed are definitely, totally written about her.

She folds her manicured hands together and looks up at him. His brain mercifully shuts off.

“It took a while after that summer for me to get there, but about three years later, I was around Oxford with some friends and I saw your latest album, on vinyl no less, in some indie record store. I suddenly got this feeling that I had to stop my whole life for a minute and go in and buy it. I bought it and the one that came before it, I said goodbye to my friends and I shut myself up in my flat for a couple days with a bottle of whiskey and just… let it happen.”

Shawn winces. “Wish you’d have just skipped over Making Midnight.”

Val smirks. “I wish I had, too.”

Shawn scoffs and leans back in his chair, mock offended. Val giggles and dumps an ungodly amount of sugar in her Earl Grey.

“I was glad to just hear your voice again, actually. I’d done a good job of avoiding it. Too good, maybe, because it was a real shock to the system when I heard it again.”

Shawn knows how that feels. He went through a Val cleanse too, a much shorter one because he doesn’t have her willpower. And then he heard a song she wrote with Alex Gaskarth for All Time Low’s Dirty Work and he let her back in.

“From then, I just bought your records when they came out. I really loved this last one. It really… I dunno, it just really felt like you, I guess.”

Shawn keeps his head down as he stares at his tea. He hears Alice coo. He looks up to see Val lifting her out of her pram to bounce her in her lap, baby in one arm, cup of tea in the other.

“God, it’s so fuckin’ good to see you,” he croaks, shaking his head a little, “Especially…”

He trails off, unwilling to finish. He ducks his head again.

“Especially with a kid I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to have?” Val guesses.

Shawn glances up and nods.

“Do you want to hear about this?” Val murmurs, ignoring Alice as she yanks at some silky curls.

Shawn chews on his lower lip. “Yeah, I think I do.”

It’s Val’s turn to look down. She stirs the mountain of slowly dissolving sugar at the bottom of her mug and sighs.

“She’s just mine. Last year I started to get a little anxious about my biological clock, especially given the last time I got pregnant. I saw a fertility specialist and we discussed my history and she agreed if I want to have children, it’s probably better to start now. So I went in for IVF. On the second cycle, I got pregnant with Alice. The pregnancy was complicated, but my doctor was a saint and did everything absolutely right. The birth went perfectly. So now it’s me and Alice against the world.”

Shawn slides his tongue against his lower lip, taps his foot impatiently against the leg of his chair. “Just you two?”

“Just us two,” Val replies easily, “There were a couple guys in and out before her, but I haven’t gone out with anyone since I got pregnant. I didn’t feel the need. I just wanted to focus on her. I’m glad I did.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, reflective. Then Val stands and looks down at him.

“Would you mind holding her for a minute? I need to use the loo.”

Shawn bites his lip and nods, standing to complete the transfer. Alice is asleep in her mother’s arms, but, as Val explains with a chuckle, “she’s a snuggle whore -- she’ll go with anybody for a little cuddle.”

Shawn sits. Alice curls up against his chest and pops her tiny lips in her sleep. She radiates warmth from her little swaddled bundle. As he stares down at her, Shawn fundamentally understands why Val hasn’t needed anyone else in her life since Alice arrived. He thinks if Val let him, he’d never put her down.

Alice stretches a tiny arm out in her sleep and punches Shawn in the chest. He snickers, jostling his little bundle, but it doesn’t wake her. He starts to get comfortable, sliding down in the chair a bit so he can rock her, but Val’s hand on his shoulder startles him.

“It’s ok,” she says, “Keep her, if she’s not fussing. I’d rather she stay asleep.”

Shawn nods eagerly and strokes Alice’s back with his long, rough fingers. Val sits across the table with her elbows propped up like she’s physically restraining herself to keep from snatching her child out of his arms. It makes Shawn grin.

“You ok over there?”

Val blushes, caught. “It’s usually just the two of us. I don’t ever have to share her. I’m not used to jonesing.”

“I’ll give her back if you want,” Shawn mumbles reluctantly. Val giggles.

“No, it’s ok. She looks happy.”

Shawn hums. She does look happy.

“So are you working?” he asks quietly, not wanting to wake Alice.

Val nods. “We are, we work at the V&A in the medieval department. We just started back about a month ago after my maternity leave. The museum’s been very generous. They let me walk around with her strapped to my chest all day. She helps consult on various matters, charms my coworkers into letting me leave bottles of breastmilk in every fridge in the museum. I shifted from conservation to curation a few years ago, which is a steadier, more lucrative track. I think it’ll be better for us.”

Us. We’re working at the V&A. We started back at the museum. Shawn’s enamored. He goes pink and brushes through the curls on the back of Alice’s neck.

“Sounds like you’ve got a great partner here,” he quips.

Val is quiet for a minute. “We’re very happy together. But we get a little lonely sometimes. Like when it’s cold and mummy really doesn’t want to get out of bed but Alice is screaming bloody murder. Those are the only moments when this isn’t the greatest thing in the whole world.”

Shawn looks up. Val is watching him carefully. Before he can speak, she swallows and lowers her gaze.

“But we get along, you know. We’re ok.”

“Yeah,” Shawn says, “I know you are.”

They chat. They talk about Raf and his wife Rachel and their little ones -- Val and Alice will be heading across the pond to spend Christmas with them and her parents. They talk about Bea and how she’s spent five years with the same guy up in Edinburgh and she seems actually happy. They talk about their near miss at Alex’s wedding last April -- she came for the ceremony but had to skip out of the reception, Shawn the opposite. They chat through several more cups of tea, an array of pastries, and another nap cycle until it’s dark and quiet outside. Val stares mournfully out the window as she puts on her jacket with Alice back in her pram, gurgling quietly.

Shawn is silent, brow furrowed. He pays the tab with a ghost of a smile and thinks about walking back to his hotel to sit in his room with the TV to try to drown out this day. It’s… unappealing to say the least.

They walk to the door. Shawn holds it open for Val and Alice and considers that they probably look to anyone else like a young family that spent the day together and are headed home to a warm dinner and a cozy night in.

Val’s heart pounds in her ears faster than their boots’ steps on the crunchy ground. She wants to swallow the words, but she doesn’t think she can. Not with him.

“Would you like to walk us home?” she breathes.

Shawn’s smile is extraordinary. He looks up from Alice’s curious brown eyes.

“Yes, please.”

Support your local Ho for Happy Endings and buy me a ko-fi!

Taglist: @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @stillinskislydia @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn​ @alone-in-madness​ @alone-in-madness @singanddreamanyway@accioalena @randi-eve @shawnitsmutual @embracehappy @itrocksmysocks @yslsaint @peacedolantwins2 @kitykatnumber

[lawbreaker13]

Listen, I wanna feel bad coming up with this theory, but I really don’t know how so here it is

Okay, picture it.

Audrey, Emilie, Gabriel, and Nathalie were all in university together (a common theory, really).

Gabriel and Nathalie were best friends and Nathalie developed a crush on Gabriel somewhere along the way.

Gabriel fell completely in love with Emilie and left Nathalie heartbroken.

Before Gabriel and Emilie officially got together, Audrey expressed interest in Gabriel.

Audrey was already engaged to Andre, but really just because Andre was from a wealthy family and Audrey was totally there for that.

Gabe was super reluctant to do anything with her, especially with the engagement, but Audrey told him there was something in it for him.

She told him it would be completely under the radar and that in exchange, she would put word in for him and his designs.

Gabriel was still pretty weary of the whole situation until Audrey said she’d start him off as a top-level fashion designer with, oh I don’t know, maybe a million dollars or so from her fiance?

Now Gabe’s no gold-digger but holy crap, that’s a lot of money.

Against his (and Nathalie’s) better judgement, Gabriel accepts.

Soon he begins to go out with Emilie.

He informs her from the start that he’s casually seeing another woman but that he and this other woman do not expect or want their relationship to go much further.

Emilie is okay with this since they’ve only been out a couple times.

But Gabe falls for Emilie super hard, and vice versa.

Just around graduation, Gabriel tells Emilie that he’s breaking off his affiliations with this other woman because he wants her, he’s only ever wanted her, she’s the light of his life blah blah blah.

Gabriel informs Audrey that their little affairs need to come to an end.

Audrey gets incredibly angry about this and tries to put an end to his fashion career.

Gabriel reminds Audrey that if he goes down, she’s going down with him.

At least he’s been honest in his endeavors, but she’s about to marry into the incredibly powerful Bourgeois family and she’s been cheating on her fiance like a madwoman.

Audrey is angry but incredibly impressed that Gabriel is willing to hold such high stakes over her head like that.

The two of them break off their affairs, but Audrey tells Gabriel she’d like to keep him around as he might be of some use later on.

Gabriel is honestly a little afraid of her and the two of them decide to keep in contact.

(Which works out pretty well for Gabriel years later when Emilie tells him she wants to trying being an actress and he knows someone with the money and the means and he’s got the blackmail and the balls to call and ask and oh look, now Emilie’s in a movie!)

Gabe tells this whole story to Nathalie and Nathalie is excited because she thinks Gabriel is finally available.

Until Gabe’s all like “Oh and I didn’t want to tell you until it was official, but I’ve actually been seeing Emilie lately and uh I actually have the engagement ring in my pocket do you think she’ll say yes to this???” and pulls out this monster of an engagement ring.

And Nathalie’s totally heartbroken again.

So when her best friend Gabriel asks her to be his fashion partner, she’s very conflicted.

On the one hand, this is a huge opportunity--Gabriel’s already become one of the biggest names in fashion and he’s only been out of university for a few months.

But on the other hand, it’s never a good idea to go into business with the love of your life, especially when they’re engaged to someone else.

Nathalie asks to get back to him about it in a day or two and Gabriel agrees that she should take as long as she needs to think it over.

So when Nathalie gets back to Gabriel that weekend, she thinks he’ll be happy to hear that she’s going to accept.

Until Gabe tells her that he’s already offered the same opportunity to his soon-to-be wife who accepted without a second thought.

Nathalie’s getting all too used to this Gabriel-Agreste-inflicted-heartbreak.

Gabriel apologizes for doing this to her and says he wants her to stay close to him and Emilie.

Nathalie is feeling very used at this point but asks what he wants.

Gabriel requests that Nathalie work as his and Emilie’s live-in assistant.

Nathalie immediately turns it down, but Gabriel promises she will never be required to do anything she wasn’t 100% already on board with doing for him just as a favor from a friend (although that’s pretty much everything given how much she’d do for him) plus he’s offering her a wicked pay and a really nice home and Nathalie’s looking him in the eye and she’s still totally in love with him and she gives in and says yes.

Gabe is delighted and he hugs her and says he appreciates her so much and is super excited to start off this huge project with the two most important women in his life and Nathalie doesn’t even know what to do this man she’s known for so many years has only ever hugged her once and it was when he was blackout drunk at his 18th birthday and she was in love with him then and she’s in love with him now and oh my gosh what is she even supposed to do.

Nathalie’s gotten good at suppressing her feelings over the years so acting totally stoic around Gabe and everyone else isn’t that hard at all.

Until stuff with Emilie does down about 15 years down the line and Gabe is a total wreck.

Forget the 5 stages of grief, he’s adding his own stages called “renovating the mansion to build a freaking evil lair” and “murdering half of Paris” plus “ignoring my son as much as humanly possible” and “magic evil butterflies.”

Nathalie is basically Gabe’s only support in what he views as a world against him but gosh darn it she’s gonna be there for him through all of it.

And when he starts to show some weakness and he tells her he’s giving it just “one more shot” she thinks he’s finally gonna move on.

She doesn’t even want him to herself anymore, she just wants him to be happy and not depressed and basically killing everyone in the country anymore.

He leaves the house for the first time in almost a year and Nathalie is so happy to see him in public and hugging his son and maybe there’s hope for this lonely psychopath after.

Until he relapses and is back to being Hawkmoth within like an hour.

And Nathalie’s sad, because what is she gonna do for the man that she’s loved for practically her entire adult life?

Well what is there to do?

Steal his wife’s miraculous?

Sounds like a plan.

[ruserious-hi]

180: Chapter I

Summary: You’re entire life you had felt that you were special, like you were mean’t for something greater. You weren't ordinary. You had a mother, friends. You were even at the top of your class. It wasn’t until your eighteenth birthday that you discovered you were right all along and yet wrong in so many ways. 

Pairing: Bucky x Reader ? ;)

A/N: Hey y’all trying my hand at fanfiction, we’ll see how it goes. Lmk how I do. 

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Time. Reality. Light. They all used to be so clear, so finite.

 7:15 am meant it was time to go to school. 8:00 am, meant meeting Jesse in the courtyard and then heading to AP Chemistry. 12:00 meant lunch time and 1:55 signaled the end of the school day. Another day closer to graduation. 

Drip.

Friends meant drinking green tea with Jesse in the mornings discussing the latest celebrity gossip, debates over stealing seats and fighting over whether the easter bunny had two legs or four with Courtney, it was clearly four. And of course meeting in the library with Andy to talk about the latest book we’ve read.

Drip.

Family meant Disney movie night Thursdays. Ski adventures, shopping trips, and fights over whose turn it was to do the dishes. Beach walks. Oh, how you loved collecting shells and giving them to mom. Mom...

Drip.

Light. Now that was something that had started to become a distant memory. When was the last time you saw the sun. Was it still out there? 

Drip.

You stared at the ceiling of your cold, damp cell. It was roughly three feet above your head providing you minimal movement. God, you hated tight spaces. You hated everything. But worst of all, you hated that you didn’t have anything to hold onto. Not a schedule. Not family. Not friends. Not light. No. That was all taken away from you.

June 13, 2011. Your eighteenth birthday.

“Y/N, sweetie. Are you up yet?” With a long stretch accompanied by a yawn, you wiggled out of the sheets you had somehow trapped yourself in while sleeping.

“Mom. I am technically an adult now. You don’t have to bring me Mickey Mouse pancakes and chocolate milk.”

Your Mom shook her head, still wearing a smile, replied, “You may be an adult now but you'll always be my baby girl.” She then squeezed your cheeks. You always hated when she did that. Regardless, you could never say no to pancakes and milk.

“Alright, Y/N. You have an hour to eat and get ready. You better not be late to school.” 

“Yeah, yeah... When have I ever been late to school.”

On that note, your mom shut the door and left.

After gobbling down your breakfast, you threw on the first thing you could get your hands on: a pair of black, Nike shorts and an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia shirt. 

Racing down the stairs, you dropped your dishes off in the kitchen. Your Mom had already left for work at the hospital, so without needing to say goodbye you grabbed the car keys and headed outside ready to begin life as an official adult. Maybe you would go to the gas station after school with Jesse and get a lottery ticket. Or maybe even buy a pack of cigarettes just because you can. Although you mom might not be too happy about that.

 Even though you had to go to school on your birthday, you didn’t really mind it. School was always something you excelled at. You didn’t need to stay up passed the late hours of the day just to pass a class. Or copy off someone else. It just came natural to you. 

It was 7:45 in the school parking lot when the first strange thing happened.

With 15 minutes before having to meet Jesse in the parking lot, you figured you would go over your electrochem homework to check for mistakes. There was word going around that Mr. Ingleton was planning on collecting and grading the homework as a quiz grade. Unzipping your bag, you started to dig through it in search of your red three subject notebook that contained all your chemistry stuff. With the same classes everyday, there was no excuse for it not to be in there. Sifting through it was no longer enough. Grabbing all your notebooks, binders and folder, you placed them all on the passenger seat and started to frantically put them back in.

Then it hit you. You knew exactly where that damn notebook was. It was sitting right on your desk. You could see it. Pissed at yourself and seething in anger for being so stupid, you closed your eyes. 

1. 2. 3. 4. 5., everything will turn out fine. 6. 7. 8., everything will turn out great. 9 10 you are calm again. 

It was a weird little saying your mom taught you as a kid. It was stupid and didn't make sense, but for some reason it helped.

You were brought back from your self pity state by a knock on your window. It was Jesse. Green tea in hand, she opened the door to the back seat of the car.

“Hey birthday girl! Umm whats up with the mess in the front seat?”

“Oh, you know,” you replied. “Just me being a dumbass.”

“What did you do this time.”��

“Forgot my red chem notebook that contains, you know, the homework assignment that Mr. Ingleton will most likely grade.” you responded. “What a great way to start adulthood.”

“Honey,” Jesse said. “First of all, you are one of the smartest people I know and one bad quiz grade is not going to kill you. Second of all, if you look to your right there is a red notebook covered in doodles with paper sticking out of it that looks an awful lot like your chem notebook.”

Gazing to your right, you started at the passenger seat in disbelief. You could have sworn that wasn’t there before. Rubbing your eyes, you looked again and the notebook was there. Strange.

“Thanks, Jess. What would I ever do without you.” You said sarcastically, putting your hand to your heart.

“You wouldn’t survive a day without me,” Jesse replied with a smug grin. 

As you and Jesse, left your car, something still felt off. You could have sworn that notebook wasn’t there before. 

It was 12:00 when the second weird thing happened. 

You were sitting at your usually lunch table. Courtney sat across from you talking to her boyfriend Sam who was sitting next to her. Meanwhile Jesse was making her way over to you guys with her lunch tray in hand.

“Hey, Y/N.” You turned to your right where Andy was sitting. “Are you doing anything fun for your 18th birthday?”

“Probably the usual. Out to dinner at Olive Garden, cheesecake, and movie of my choice with my mom. Especially since this cou-

Before you could finish telling Andy your birthday plans, you were interrupted by a ringing in your ears. The noise sent a short stabbing pain to your head. Your hands flanked to your head in the hopes that they could hold it together. It felt like any minute your head could explode. Gripping as hard as you can, you began counting.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5, everything will turn out fine. 6. 7. 8, everything will turn out great. 9. 10 you are calm again.

In an instant, the headache was gone and you were met with a worried glance from Andy.

“Y/N,” he said placing the back of his palm on your forehead. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“Yeah I just had a bit of headache. I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick.”

As quick as you can, you gathered all your things and stumbled to the bathroom. You were glad you had gotten there fast because just as you entered your mind became flooded with noise. 

It wasn’t like anything you have ever felt before. It was a combination of words, emotions. It was too loud, too scattered, and too many to even begin to decipher. The emotions were heavy and debilitating. Some were sad, some joyful. But all you could feel was pain. An extraordinary amount of pain.

The last thing you remember was your head hitting the bathroom floor and Jesse shouting through the cracked open door, “Holy shit Y/N!”

Weary eyed and exhausted, you woke up in the Nurse’s office. You had never been in there before. Mostly because the Nurse gave you a weird vibe and you hated missing school. So if you were sick? You would always just walk it off and go to class.

Barely conscious, you could just make out what sounded to be a heated discussion in the hallway.

“Ms. Y/L/N. Your daughter needs to go to the hospital! She just passed out in a bathroom stall. I highly recommend we call an ambulance.” The Nurse stated urgently.

“No! I am a nurse. I work at the local hospital and I can take care of her.” 

“But I-”

“She is my daughter. My child. And it is my decision.”

“Alright fine. Just sign her out.”

You heard footsteps approaching, so you quickly closed your eyes. The door creaked open and the nurse entered with your mom. 

“Hey sweetie.” Slowly you opened your eyes, to see your mom standing next to your bed. “You passed out in the bathroom. I'm going to take you home alright.”

You nodded. In a daze, you followed your mom out of the nurses office, past the school front door, and into your moms car.

“What about my car?”

“Don’t worry about it sweetie. I’ll take care of it. You rest. I’m going to take you to the hospital.”

Just as you were about to tell her you had thought you were taking her home, you decided not to bring it up. She had nursed you back to health when you got strep throat in the third grade, helped take care of you when you broke your wrist in a basketball game freshman year, and even rocked you to sleep whenever you would get stomach aches in the night and couldn't by yourself. You trusted your mother with every piece of you. She was your only family. She loved you more than anything in the world. She would help you get through whatever is going on with you.

With that in mind, you closed your eyes, succumbing to the darkness, and sealing your fate.

Drip.

That was all you could remember from that day. The day your life made a complete 180. Because after that day all you knew was cold cell walls, LED lights, belts, straps, tie wraps, rock beds, electrodes, syringes, vials, blood, and pain. Unrelenting and debilitating pain. It was your new infinite reality brightened only with occasional dim LED lights.

Drip.

God you wished you could stop hearing that annoying dripping noise. 

BANG.

Well thats a new sound. Slowly, due to the bruises on your ribs and the broken hand you were sure you were sporting, you sat up in your cell.

BANG.

On the second bang, the ground started shaking. You couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad thing. The guards outside your cell left their post. Leaving you unguarded and completely and entirely alone.

Red, flashing lights began blaring. An audio recording came with it.

Alert! This HYDRA facility is under attack. The building will self-destruct in two minutes. Remember children, cut off one head. Two more will grow in its place. Hail HYDRA!

Shit! Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

You were too young for this. You were going to find a way out. You were going to graduate high school, go to college, and become a doctor. You can’t die like this! You were meant for so much more.

1. 2. 3. 4. - fuck it.

“HELP!” You screamed with all the fight you had left in you. 

Hydra had taken everything from you: a childhood, a family, real friends, first boyfriend, first kiss, first house, and a first real job. You weren’t going to let them take your hope. 

“HELP! HELP! HELP!”

You screamed until your voice went hoarse. Smoke had already consumed most of the floor and had already began filtering into your cell.

With your remaining energy, you banged your good hand against the cell wall and let out a weak “help.”  

Mid-coughing fit from the heavy smoke you were interrupted by a bang from across the hall close to where the elevator stood opposite you. A shadow appeared through the smoke. From what you could tell, the shadow had a gun and was heading straight for you. 

Unaware if the shadow was a friend or foe, you unwillingly surrendered to the darkness and prayed  you would make it out alive.