#i hope I won't regret wasting 3 hours on this shit

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

not to be a crazy swiftie, but i have a theory about midnights....

it might not even be new, but it's new to me, okay?

i wanna say, that I don't know shit about Taylor-lore, all i know is just bits and bobs and the bops (haha), that's all the context i have.

if you observe the songs in order:

lavender haze - the start of the relationship, start of lover era. it's a new relatioship, he's so accepting of her and all the drama that was around her, she feels the lavender haze creeping up on her (lover album - baby blue and pink clouds, pink+blue=purple -> lavender haze) she's so in love that she doesn't even care what people are saying ("talk your talk and go viral, i just need this love spiral, get it off your chest, get it off my desk")

maroon - the start of the end, a happy memory in the present, but looking back, it's all shades of red. "Red" is a song, in which she describes love as red. she described the love she felt towards him as golden in Daylight. looking back to the happy memory, she realises that he might not be the one, although she still loves him. comparing red and maroon (with burgundy and the other shades she used) we can feel like she really grew up between the two songs, these darker shades of red feel more mature

anti-hero - it all ties back to being a people pleaser (as she called herself in her newly released song" you're losing me"), the relationship isn't working out, so she tries to find the problem in herself. what I'm unsure about is the identity of the anti-hero. is it Taylor who finds all the faults of the relationship rooting from her, or is it Joe, who does not even seem to notice them? it's also notable, that she didn't leave Joe inher will in the music video. they either already broke up, or she already lost faith in the relationship lasting much longer.

snow on the beach - it was a good night. she thought the spark between them was gone, but that night was different, and it gave her hope. it's weird, it's like a dream, something she didn't think would happen, just like seeing snow on the beach. "I can't speak, afraid to jinx it" it made her so happy to have the spark back, but she's scares to mention it, just in case.

you're on your own kid - this song is a bit different, it could be interpreted in completely different contexts, but it also feels like they started to spend time apart from eachother. she's still hopeful, and is still looking to change herself, in case she can save the relationship. but it's just not working out. the one she loved the most, the one she thought was THE ONE just isn't, she's feeling lost like she's all alone in this world.

midnight rain - i saw someone say this was actually from Joe's pov, and it kinda makes sense. maybe both character's are Joe. "he" is his younger self, maybe from before they met, the one, who was looking for a bride. but it all changed, he changed, just like a day changes to another when midnight hits, a completely new day, a new person. the "I" is his current self, the one who is only chasing fame, wanting to make his own name. the song shows, how Taylor feels it's her fault that he changed. Before he met her, it wasn't a problem, but once they started dating, he was known as Taylor Swift's boyfriend, so he wanted to make his own name. this wouldn't have happened, if it wasn't for Taylor, so she simply blames herself.

question...? - i might be just dumb for this, I don't see anything in this, might be about cheating, or just thinking about cheating??? idk. she might started to realize she can't keep blaming only herself

vigilante shit - she's just in her girlboss era, don't mind her, she's servinggg

bejeweled - she gave him everything, he gave nothing. she's a bad bitch and she shows it. she was less public during the relationship, but she's still bejeweled, she can still make the whole place shimmer. "i polish up real nice". he gave up his chance, of always being first, so he now has to "wait in line" - he didn't put her first, so why would she?

labyrinth - he's trying to win her back, and it's working, kind of, but she knows, she can't let go of her walls, despite that being what everyone expects of her

karma - this song is for anyone who wronged her, but there are three, who got a verse dedicated to them, and i believe the third might be for Joe "ask me what I learned from all those years, ask me what I earned from all those tears"

sweet nothing - finding the pebble brings back a memory, that he might not be the villain she made him to be. she might have realised, that she went to the other extreme, that instead of blaming it all on herself, she was blaming it all on him. but it's not like that, it's not black and white, they both had parts in why it didn't work out.

mastermind - she's thinking about how they met, and the fact, that she was pulling the strings, which is a romantic gesture, kind of, but it does feel a bit artificial. we all have this belief that meeting our soulmate just happens, it's supposed to be love at first sight, and she might be feeling like she ruined their chances by pulling some strings right at the start.

the bonus tracks don't seem to follow any chronological order.

the great war - it ties the songs together, it makes the story a whole. when the relationship started to fail, she had everything bottled inside of her. she fought her feelings alone, although he tried to be there for her, it was just feeding the fire. she was blaming him, and despite seeing the situation more clearly, it was the great war. their biggest fight, they couldn't just "plant a memory garden" and act as if nothing happened. "the worst was over" "we survived the great war" they thought this was a huge fight and it's over, but the first world war was also called the great war, until the second happened, so the song title was also foreshadowing another fight.

some people think Bigger than the whole sky describes a miscarriage. which would make a lot of sense, as that tends to have its toll on relationships.

paris - 'yeah, nothing bad happened, we were in paris, remember?' this might be about how the public had no clue about the hard patch they were experiencing, this is the version, that we heard, thinking everything is fine and they love eachother more than ever. "romance is not dead if you keep it just yours" - that's a fucking lie, their romance was literally dying, but they couldn't just say that

high infidelity - it's either about her cheating on him. or the fact, that his feeling were never as strong as hers "the slowest is never loving them enough". maybe april 29th is not the day she cheated, but the one, where she soent the whole time daydreaming about them being married (second verse)

glitch - it completely disregards how she described their meeting in Mastermind. they weren't supposed to become a thing, it just happened, it was just up to chance, that she wasn't "in someone else's playground". the whole relationship happened because of a glitch, she didn't want to have a serious relationship

dear reader - she's talking about her experiences and giving advice, but her main advice is "never take advice from someone who's falling apart" but she's the one falling apart, you shouldn't take her advice, because she's so hurt that she can't see straight ("you should find another") - at first it's just whispers, then at the end, she's the one who tells the "reader" that they should find someone else to take advice from

hits different - this song is after the breakup, but doesn't make it too obvious, but might be the reason it was not online until now. it's not easy for her to move on, because he wasn't just 'one of those Kens, she'd just ghost'. "now the sum burns my heart" this line is referencing Daylight (love is golden like daylight) - love is burning her heart. the breakup made her a mess, she's crying over objects, she goes on tangents about him, so she doesn't get invited anywhere anymore, she still hopes for him to come back

[val-cansalute]

PICKING UP THE ———- PIECES -———

ch. 5

ch. 1

ch. 2

ch. 3

ch. 4

ch. 6

a/n: 😪 banners by cafekitsune and saradika-graphics

Snow still lays thick upon the soil once you’re gone. Along its boundless surface, specks of silver glisten, basking in the gentle glow of the moon, smothering the town’s bustle.

“You sure?”

The wind is cruel, lashing auburn locks erratically about Ellie’s face, numbed by the frigidity. In spite of the burning cold overtaking her limbs, her grip on the straps of the saddle tightens and her eye contact with Tommy turns ever so slightly hostile,

"Tommy, it’s been less than a day. She can’t be far. You comin’ or not? ‘Cause I’m doing this with or without you.”

He looks back at her wordlessly with a furrow in his brow, piercing through the tense silence laced with the distant bustle of Jackson,

“Alright… Let’s set off quick then.”

“Okay.”

Something compels her to silence, an impulse to keep her lips sealed over restless secrets. Maybe she knows that going after you is illogical, that it was a choice you made on your own. But she can’t bring herself to indulge in those realisations – all she knows is that she has to find you; there is no hesitation. Thankfully, the urgency in her tone was explanation enough for Tommy.

With a rushed onset, they split up to cover more ground, venturing onwards into the overrun territory encompassing Jackson with eyes vigilant, searching for signs of you, but seconds turn to minutes, and minutes turn to hours of vacillating between trot and gallop, losing sense of direction and fragments of determination to the exhaustion that mutinies her mind.

Thank god the hoofprints come into view when they do - as if by magic or a blessing, the impressed snow shows itself clear as day, juxtaposing the sea of white bordering it,  darkened by dirt and grime. Ellie perks up with desperate intrigue so she pulls the reins and crouches down beside them, muttering to herself,

“Huh, what do we have here?”

And then her heartbeat quickens in anticipation of relief,

“She's close.”

Verily, she follows, the tracks guiding her further into the dense vegetation with senses working overtime to accommodate the fact that it is winter and hordes are rampant. She fucking prays you didn’t run into one, but the forest is deafeningly silent, seeming to hold its breath tonight.

She’s fast on your track; in this moment, the path is hope, a lifeline steering her along.  Every now and then, a rustle of leaves, or the distant echoes of infected throw her mind into disarray, but she scans the area rapidly, shaky grip tightening on her firearm, before pushing on.

Just under an hour, the prints become faded and scattered, and the apprehension makes her stomach twist before she lifts her head to greet the destination - a desolate clearing.

“Fuck me.”

Dim moonlight hangs over Ellie and Tommy’s exhausted figures. The night has been relentless. The trail resulted in nothing more than wasted time and the discovery of a empty clearing, devoid of any sign of you.

Frustration and fatigue etched on her face and lingering in the air around her, Ellie kicks at a loose stone on the ground like a little kid, the full regret of having set off hurriedly with no real plan or navigation overcoming her. They’ve gotten nowhere.

In a see-through attempt at remaining pragmatic, Tommy pats her shoulder and states with a tone of reassurance, though it’s betrayed by the wearied rasp in his voice,

"We'll figure it out, Ellie. We just need to rest for a bit and rethink our strategy. She couldn't have gotten far."

But Ellie's resolve is fixed and her jaw is set in determination. It’s too late to turn back now, she knows that.

"I can't rest, Tommy. Every minute wasted is another minute she's further."

He sighs heavily with complete sincerity, running a hand through his unkempt hair.

"Ellie, she’s probably asleep right now, or some shit. And pushing yourself like this won't help anyone."

Their intermingling voices rise, threaded with increasing aggression until the tension has thickened beyond salvaging, and the rift between their convictions seems insurmountable in the darkness of the night.

Finally, unable to find common ground, Ellie announces,

"I'm not waiting. I'm going to keep searching. You wanna go back? Fine."

And, without waiting for a response, she takes off, leaving her horse and Tommy, who mutters quiet cusses into the heavy stillness of the night. She moves with purpose, the flashlight attached to her backpack tearing through the darkness.

She refuses to let the ache in her feet claim her; every step she takes echoes the silent plea for you to be found. Even as the hours wear on, Ellie's determination refuses to wane in spite of the fatigue gnawing at her bones. She can’t let herself think, she can’t let herself dwell, she has to keep searching, even if she can’t tell herself why.

However, the moon, as always, gives surrender to the encroaching dawn. Ellie's flickering hope of finding you dims as her steps grow heavier and her eyes wearier, and the first light of sunrise bleeds into the sky from the horizon.

Eventually, shattered and running on sheer god-like willpower, Ellie stumbles upon a vantage point, and stands over the landscape, large enough to swallow her whole millions of times over, like she’s the last person on Earth, staring into the face of impending destruction.

But it’s just dawn, and the overcast warm glow showers upon her as the realization that she has been searching through the night hits her. The screeching thought of you inevitably having gotten hurt plagues her mind. Deep breath, in and out, she lets the weight of it all settle upon her weakened shoulders, yet there’s still no time for rest.

The search is far from over.

You strain your neck to squint up at the skeletal structure that has born the brutality of the post-apocalyptic world, barely making out the details past the overgrown foliage seeping out of its broken windows and destroyed walls.

You enter with caution and heightened senses, searching for any signs of danger. The creaking floorboards beneath your feet shatter the palpable silence in the damp air.

Shifting through the shadows, your senses remain sharp and attuned to the slightest noise, scanning the objects illuminated by the dim light of dawn filtering through the cracks in the abandoned building. Shadows loom outstretched along the corridors.

In a shadowy corner, a man is crouched over a bag, and you watch him with a racing heart before you emerge, your silhouette a silent spectre against the dilapidated walls.

Your eyes meet for a fleeting moment before you both jump into action instinctively, but you swiftly disarm him. The struggle is brief but intense, and he is overpowered, because, if there’s one thing fear has taught you, it’s that each movement has to be calculated and purposeful.

And when he’s on his knees, trying to plead for mercy, when he’s scraping pathetically at the scruples of humanity left in your soul, you remain resolute - just don’t think. Your grip is firm as you subdue him.

A few blows leave him incapacitated, and you leave it at that because you have never been able to succumb to gratuitous violence. He lets out a muffled groan with his cheek pressed against the cold stone floor.

Swiftly, you bind is wrists and ankles taut, ensuring he can’t pose a threat before confiscating his meagre supplies and rifling through them. Food, water, anything that could sustain you on the journey ahead, you take, and then you drop his bag my his side and arise.

You turn to leave, but you glance back at the man over your shoulder, meeting his eyes with a solemn expression. You haven’t done this in a while, not since you arrived at Jackson, and your penchant for showing no mercy has been buffed down.

There’s so much you have to beg your mind to steer itself away from, beg it to not to linger on the helplessness in his eyes as he looks back at you, or how you would’ve slit his throat without a doubt when it was just you and Soren.

With the stolen supplies secured, you walk through the entrance. You have to convince yourself of one last thing.

Mercy takes on different forms.

Out into the muted light of dawn, the air is brisk, and the horizon enlightening drags the worry of not making it out of the treacherous night you endured off your shoulders. A new day. A momentary respite washes over you; you’re only a little scathed.

With the first light of dawn illuminating your path,

“Only an hour or two away …”

It is a small victory in the grand scheme of things, but it’s enough for someone with your past.

Mounting her horse, the familiar weight of the saddle grounds you as you set off once more into the unknown. The rhythmic, muffled thump of hooves against the snow-blanketed floor, and the shadow of the horse and rider stretched long over the ruins, a lone traveller navigating the remnants of a world.

You ride on, your mind numb to the thought of returning to Soren. Back to the old house, to the doorstep where your heart lies dormant.

Crestfallen, the fruitless landscape stands before Ellie, as if to mock her hunched over figure, bathed in the warm hues of the noontime sun. She has been traversing since the wee hours of the morning after stopping momentarily to map out a journey in her relentless pursuit of you, trying to stay determined, but the urgency that keeps her moving forward is dulled by the incessant pangs of hunger and the desperate struggle to keep her eyes open. Doubt creeps in as the vast emptiness erodes her resolution.

Just as thoughts of turning back infiltrate her sleep-deprived mind, a faint sound carries along a whistling gust of wind, drawing her fading attention. Pained noises, barely audible, leave her instantly alert, and Ellie follows the source of the sound with a subtle limp in her step. Though her senses are sharpened by the urgency of the situation, everything still seems blurrier and muffled.

Guided by the haunting echoes, she carefully weaves her way through the silent surroundings, every step weighted with anticipation, into a derelict building.

She approaches cautiously, entering a room where the sound is amplified and she comes face to face with the source: a man, bound and gagged, his eyes shut as he lies, weakened by his restraints. Without hesitation, Ellie kneels beside him, pistol pressed to his pained temple, her gaze unwavering,

“Who did this to you?" she demands, her voice edged with a fierce determination. His eyes fly open, looking up at her fearfully.

“Shit! Some fuckin’ girl – I don’t know!”

“… When did she leave?”

“Like ten minutes ago! I haven’t got shit, she took everything! I’m begging you, please untie me!”

She stands, contemplating it for a moment, before she kicks him over so that he can contort his body into a sitting position, eliciting a sharp groan. He wasn’t tied up beyond hope of managing to undo the knots, you made sure of it,

“You can figure that out on your own, I got shit to do.”

With a sense of exhilaration, Ellie jogs out and circles to the back of the building, her eyes scanning the snow-covered ground for any sign of movement where she notices a fresh set of foot and hoofprints, meeting at a point along the line where they become one trail of hoofprints, a delicate dance littering the frozen canvas.

Hope surges within Ellie as, once again, she follows the tracks. She has to move fast; you have a horse and she has only her feet. The air is tense with anticipation, but she somehow manages to power through the all-consuming exhaustion and hunger with the promise of getting closer to the elusive figure she seeks.

The sun dips lower on the horizon; the bitter cold forgotten in the warmth of purpose.

Nothing is left of your house but the gnarled bones of the home it once was. The memories of all you left behind seep through the cracked walls – the good and the bad, a silent witness to the passage of time.  You hold your breath captive in your tightened chest and push open the door, its rusty hinges protesting your return with a shrill creak.

The air is thick with dust dancing in the slivers of dim light that manage to pierce through boarded windows. Everything surrounding you, once thriving and familiar, is now reduced to mere echoes, whispers. Your fingers gently trace the life left in the fray, your gaze sweeping over the remnants of all you lost to the destruction. There’s nothing but blood left to salvage, to hold onto.

You lay in the centre of what used to be your bedroom, save for the actual bed, beside the shadow of the place where Soren used to lie, but there is no reprieve. You can’t look at it, your gaze pointed to the damp-stained ceiling, rust-coloured organic forms scattered across it.

If there’s one thing you can trust to remain a constant in your life, it’s that memories flood your mind no matter when or where you are, unbidden and unwelcome. Here, you can let them play out wholly, succumb to the deserved guilt that you cannot let yourself escape.

Trace the mustard outline of the leakages in the wallpapered walls with the movement of your weary pupils, stop trying to battle the thoughts as they influx from the depths. Turn your head to look at the ruined wall – no matter how hard you scrubbed, droplets of what once was his blood, and his blood only, taken over by that cruel evil, seeped through and infected it just as the clicker infected him. They still burn as hot and bright as they did that night, staring back at you.

You had been splayed out on the floor, over tattered blankets, similar to now, waiting for Soren, who had heard a noise beyond the gate. The worry was becoming an annoyance, so you got up and ran out into the night to find him, further out than you usually would on your own.

You should’ve stayed. Never should’ve wandered. It was your fault he had to fight off that clicker, the scar etched into his back for all eternity, evidence of your fatal error. Even though you made it home with adrenaline pumping through your veins, the nagging sting eventually became an undeniable ache, and from that point, Soren was already dead.

He begged and begged, eyes glassed over for the first time since your mother died, but your pathetic selfishness left him shrinking beside the new force overcoming his body, till he became what he prayed he would never become.

Then, and only then, did you do it. Coward that you are, bashing his obliterated skull over and over in the haze, blood and brains sent adrift, consuming all the surfaces they landed on, your mind, body, and soul, for the rest of your life, and anything that lies beyond.

There’s a violent shift and you jolt back to the surface, gasping for air like you were drowning with sharp, shallow, greedy breaths.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Ellie's urgent voice cuts through the remnants of the memory.

"I got you," she whispers, a breathless relief in her voice. You, disoriented and still caught in an intersection between past and present, struggle to hold back the already fallen tears and even in spite of the glaring truth that you came here wilfully, the sight of her brings sweet relief.

“Ellie-”

“Shimmer.”

“Huh?”

“The horse’s name is Shimmer.”

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. mango eater iced coffee drinker bread lover honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag princess😅

Hm so with my second account, it follows the same blogs I follow in the first one. I don't really know how to just follow certain blogs for each account lol cause I tried to see if I can follow people with my second account name but I can't 🤔

But yeah 😁 it is like incorrect quotes, and right now it's mostly focused around Wanda hahaha I am making it mostly funny because I really don't know how to write anything else. I suck at writing things in detail.

Ah I know what you mean. My best friend is the same way, she is constantly cleaning or just playing with her daughter. I think she will have a hard time when my niece goes to preschool soon lol

I say get drunk! It's the end of the year, let go of it ahahaha let go by getting drunk then having a really bad hangover the next day. Hm, maybe I won't give you my other tumblr name, I don't wanna get weird drunk text from you 😂 just kidding

Okay, I'll see if I can find the movie in the store or stream it somewhere 🤔 I am the same way, I hate when people talk to me during the movie. But if I am at home, I always pause the movie so I can make comments lol

I usually don't mind gory movies. I get iffy though when they show something being done to the characters skin or nails. Hahaha! Thats exactly why I can't watch filipino scary movies. I feel like the ghosts or supernatural stuff are actually there and will haunt me.

Hm I don't know either. I never pay attention to ratings until after I watch the movie. Oh actually there is one that people loved but I hate it because it was so bad. It's the cabin in the woods. It's supposed to be scary, but the whole time I was watching it, I kept going what the eff. 😂

Ok, last question for the night. 3 movies or shows that awaken your sexuality or was your sexual awakening. I hope the question made sense.

-CuriousGeorge

Hi hi righty eyebag!

Wow, that was a long nickname plus the princess nickname at the end..😁🤭

Ah i see. So it means ur second account follows mine..i wonder which none is u 🤔 hahahah.

I love incorrect quotes! Some of them can make me really laugh out loud..😅😆 n how they make y/n sometimes stupid but funny n how wanda or nat very patient with y/n. I love it!

Hahaha okay, it's understandable that u dont wanna give me ur tumblr because of not wanting to get drunk text from me. 🤣🤣🤣

Im.not sure if i wanna get drunk. The last time i got drunk, i shared a big bottle of vodka with him n other cocktails, i got so drunk n i felt like shit the next morning.. 🤣

Hahah yeah pls find it n let me know what u think about Knives Out.

Well, that's not fun either if u keep stopping the movie to comment. Just kidding.😆 at least it's bettter than miss the movie because someone is talking. It's still very thoughtful of u.

I will talk in the movie sometimea if we rewatch a movie n the other person already watched it too.

Im like that too with indonesian ghost movie.. i think asian ghosts r described a little more eerily weird.hahaha. n they look scary.

Ah i see.i never really remember movies that i regret watching that people love it.

Oh oh! I remember! I watched Hunger Games Mocking Birds with my friends n they all were excited about it. But i fell asleep watching it.😅 a movie thats called Yesterday also got me bored like hell that i have to stop watching it not even half of movie. The most recent bad movies i watch that people seems to love it is the latest Jurassic Park movies. I even feel like almost 3 hours of my life was wasted 😅 it's just my opinion though, i hv nothing agaisnt the fans of that movie.

Hmm 3 movies that was my gay awakening

1. The Mummy Returns (Rachelle Weisz was sooo hot in it)

2. I Can't Think Straight (the story is quite similar with my story with my ex-gf)

3. Kyss Mig or Kiss me (it's a sweden movie but good story in it.)

4. Iron Man 2 (when Natasha first appeared in MCU)

Whats urs?

Next question

Cheerio!

[harleenfleck]

“Despite the danger (Part 2)”

Arthur Fleck/Joker x Reader

Summary: Joker is the love of your life; despite the reputation it carries. You know that, but you don’t care, after he rescued you from a horrible hole you were trapped in. Now, you both live your lives together, but you ignore all the risks that come with being the lover of the Clown Prince of Crime.

This is the continuation. Part one here (Idk how put links in tumblr AAAAAA)

Warning: Description of violence, smut (Oh yeah), unprotected sex, oral sex, and fluff cause why not.

Words: 3.2k

Notes: OMFG I’M SO SORRY I KNOW I KNOOOW It took me about a month to post the second part, you have no idea what happened to me in all these weeks! New job, a little move, trying to survive, creative block (I’m suffering with this one), I almost itchy a scorpion, I didn't have Internet for two weeks, for a moment I thought I was in contact with someone with COVID-19 and fortunately that someone was sick from something else (Pneumonia in case you had doubts), I started to be attracted to a guy who turned out to be a criminal (HAHA later I'll tell you how this shit was over) anyway, too many weird things happened to me.

Finally I can post the second part, and the truth is that it is the first time I write smut or something in English :'0 honestly I think it was sexy, but I still feel a little ashamed (that’s the correct word?) to post it, ahhh, it's weird the feeling. But wow, I think the thing was beautiful:3 I honestly hope I can beat the creative block and keep writing more stories like that, shit, anyway, Arthur it’s my beautiful muse.

Time for thanks! Thank you to the Microsoft translator for helping me translate things I don't know into English, thank you to Lana del Rey for helping me get out of the creative block with your songs, my two neurons for not giving up and doing synapses, and thank you for your patience <3

And fuuuuckinggg agaaaain the fucking same apology, I’m sorry if I make some grammatical, spelling or writing mistakes, english is not my native language blablablablablalaaablablablaba just enjoy the porn.

Hope you like it! <3

...

 He’s out of his mind.

He was yelling at his men to do the damn job, to search the whole damn city. His beauty doll is missing

You were missing, you weren’t by his side, and that was a tragedy.

He was going crazy, and how cannot be? His enemies don’t leave no clue, just the threatening note. He read it, trying to find something, some sign. But nothing.

“In every fucking corner! In every fucking street! In every fucking neighborhood! I don’t fucking care! You have to find her!”

He yelled at his men in clown masks, they were orders that were to be fulfilled. But everything was more complicated than it seemed.

“We've searched all over Gotham and there's no sign of her”

“Keep looking!” He screamed again.

The clowns have never seen their leader so tense and stressed. It wasn't for nothing. His darling was kidnapped by something he had done, and time ran. Anything could happen to you with every hour wasted in found you.

"Mr. Joker, we've searched everywhere, but there's no way to find her, do you really think it's worth it?"

“What? What do you mean by that? What are you implying about that?”

“I mean Mr. Joker, you found her in a disgraceful place... You could do that with any other slut, you can find another-”

Bang!

Before he could keep opening his mouth, that man was already dead.

"I don't have time for this stupid shit! You must don’t give a shit about my doll's past! You must do your fucking damn job!"

The rest of the clowns, seeing the violent scene, came out of the room. Joker ordered two of his men to undo the body.

Sitting on an elegant red couch, he took a hand to his face and breathe out heavily.

Where were you? Would you be ok? You’d be safe?

Every question stressed him. And he felt guilty leaving you alone, he shouldn’t have done that.

Knowing that sometimes his clowns could become useless, he got out of his seat and walked outside of the room. "If they don't find you, I'll do it myself”

He got into the car and went to Gotham.

“My y/n, where are you?”

…

Your hands behind you back were tied. Your feet too.

Could barely remember what happened to you. Hours before, you were reading a book in complete calmness, but someone broke in the house. You screamed and ran for the emergency gun, but the assailants caught you first and put a damp fabric in your face.

You slept soundly for a couple of hours, when you woke up with a blindfold. Immediately, you went into fear.

“Look! The bitch woke up”

Your eyes saw again, they took you the bandage off. Looked at some men you didn’t know who they were.

“Just look, the little whore of Joker” One of the kidnappers took you by the jaw “Are the rumors true? The Joker pulled you out of a brothel after you fuck him so good?”

A big spit came into the kidnapper's eye. You pointed very well at his face.

“Fuck you!” Was the only thing you yell to him “That's something you don't give a shit!”

The others men laugh a lot, making fun of your little defense. The affected person rubbed himself with a tissue and you realized spitting him was a big mistake.

Scared, you looked everywhere, you had to find a way out, you knew that if you stayed there, they could kill you, but there is no escape.

“What idiot would want a whore like his couple?” The kidnapper spoke as he approached you and lifted you from the ground "Although if it's true that you were a prostitute... We could take advantage of that…”

They looked at you with malevolence, you knew your Joker had done terrible things to them, and they revenge were going to drop it on you.

“No, no, no! Don't you dare! If you do, you'll be dead men!”

“Maybe, but the first one to die will be you”

They pulled out a knife right in front of you, played with this one, gently passing it down your chest and face.

They started ripping the fabric of your dress. You cried. They laughed.

Please Arthur come, come for me, please Arthur

“We are three, you're going to have to give each of us pleasure at the same time, you know what that means? Anyway, you're already experienced in that”

They took your dress in pieces, staying only in your underwear, they began grotesquely touch your body and make fun of you. You just implored that it wasn't painful and that your death wasn't so violent.

Although that was improbable.

You closed your eyes, accepting your unfortunate destiny.

A violent noise was heard, and one of the men fell to the ground.

"Leave her alone right now!"

Hearing that scream you felt in heaven, protected. You were safe. Joker was there, pointing the bastards who wanted to hurt you with his gun.

“Oh! Look who's here! Just when we were going to have our banquet, don't you want some?”

Another one fell to the ground. You tried to escape the only one left alive, but he catched you, putting the knife around your neck.

“Let her go of or you're going to regret it!” Joker screamed in a tone of voice you'd never heard before. He was heard so rude and furious, and at once determined.

“Let her go? You ruined what my men and I built for years; I'll take away what you cherish most in front you. And you can’t do anything to avoid it”

Joker's blood boiled with angry. How did he dare to hurt you?

"I won't warn you again, let her go right now, NOW!"

The guy, just for enjoying Joker's furious, put the knife down and cut your abdomen, you cried in pain. Joker went crazy, and when the knife stopped touching your skin, bullets were raining at your kidnapper.

You ran away, tripped and fell, but you could see Joker unloading the bullets on his enemy.

No enemy was left alive. You were free. But you were so scared too.

Joker looked at you, put away his gun and ran to you.

"Arthur!" You hugged him very tightly.

"y/n are you okay? He cut you, that motherfucker, I must to take you to the doc—"

"No! Please Arthur, take me home! Take me with you!"

"But y/n, you’re hurt—"

"It's nothing! I swear, just take me with you!"

Crying, you begged him to get you out of there. Joker took off his red coat and put it on you, covering you. He hugged you and both got out of there.

…

You two came home. He carried you in his arms and you hugged his chest. He left you in the bed while you still crying.

"I won't let you get hurt again, my doll" Arthur drew his fingers to your face, drying away your tears. He hurt him see you crying.

"Arthur, I thought I'd never see you again”

"No, y/n, I'm here, I'll always be here. No one will hurt you again"

You hugged him a lot, you didn't want to let him go. Despite the facade of the worst criminal of all and Gotham's worst lunatic, he saved and protected you.

Arthur left the room for a moment and came back with a medicine cabinet. He healed your wound while you were trying to relax, but that was almost impossible. Once you bandaged, Arthur lay down next to you, and you couldn't help hug him. He did the same thing, caressing your hair and smelling your scent, like the first time he and you met.

You and him slept soundly. You were so afraid you wouldn't sleep in that bed again. However, your night wasn't quiet, you dreamed of those three horrible men again, you dreamed that those men did what they wanted with you, and Arthur never appeared.

You woke up upset, in tears again.

But at the same time, you calmed down, because you were home. Arthur woke up with your crying, he immediately paid attention to you.

"What's going on? y/n, what happened?"

"A nightmare"

He took you carefully and kissed you on the forehead. You hugged him back, you clung to him, you never wanted to leave him in your life.

He really is the love of your life.

And you wanted to thank him for being.

"Arthur..."

"Yes?"

You took air, you never thought you’d be shy to ask Arthur that, even when you did this night after night.

“Could you love me, please?"

The eyes of Arthur lit up, and a big sense of desire ran through his body. But despite that, you were always above everything.

"y/n… But you’re hurt"

"Art… I’m fine, it was something superficial, it's nothing” And that was true, but on his face could you see he wasn’t so convinced “Please Arthur, I need your love”

He looked at you with concern, with silent, perhaps he feared to hurt you.

But at the same time, he looked at you with desire, in need and lust.

Arthur needed you very badly too, but he was afraid to revive your pain. However, you started kissing him, at first shyly, because you didn't know what his reaction would be.

But you knew him perfectly, you knew that with a simple touch of yours he could go crazy. He gently took you from the back of your head and quickly got on top of you. His hands started stroking your neck, your collarbone, your chest. His fingers started playing with the straps of your bra and at the same time left little kisses on your breasts.

Fear left your body, and desperately asked for Arthur.

Arthur took your bra off and threw it somewhere in the room. Hypnotized, he admired your body. You blushed, he always saw you as a deity, even though you two made love a thousand times before.

"You're the most fucking beautiful woman I've ever met"

He bit his lip when he saw you. You, on the other hand, put the shyness aside, your hands went to the buttons on his yellow vest, unbuttoning them. Arthur noticed your intentions and helped you with that. You did the same thing with his turquoise shirt, looking now his chest.

You exhaled. You kissed him deeply, his tongue entered your mouth, and you couldn't help pass your hands through his chest and abdomen.

Without warning, you started to kiss his neck and shoulders, he didn’t wait that, but with a smile, he let you continue. You kept kissing him, went down to his red pants. His lust trapped in that red pants was already evident.

With little kiss on the fabric of his pants, you unbuttoned and zipped down. You looked him before continue. Arthur looked at you in need, desire and a huge smile on his clown face.

You backed off his pants and his underwear, his length appeared on your face and something inside you burned. You took it with your hand and let a little kiss in the top.

With more desire, you pass your tongue, sucking it, you really enjoyed that moment, more when you put it in your mouth and heard his deep moan.

"Damn it, y/n!" Arthur almost cried out loud. He was wet in lust, he looked at you with his green eyes, saw as you gave him pleasure, as you loved making him feel good. He took your hair, started directing the movements.

You relaxed your throat, took some air and got on with your work. You used your tongue to drive him crazy, and hearing his moans caused you to get wet. “Fuck! y/n you… you’re amazing…”.

You viewed that he grabbed the sheets with his free hand, his head was back and his chest became large and small as he breathed deeply. You could think he was close to finishing. But he decided to change things.

He took your hair and forced you to apart himself, you looked at him a little confused, but his gaze said he was going to back to you everything you caused him. Taking your shoulders, he dropped you in bed. He quickly got between your legs, starting to play with the elastic of your lace panties.

He dropped your panties, stared hungry at what these were hiding. And he realized you were already wet.

"Art... Do-Don't be so rude, please" You pled him timidly. Arthur blinked, setting aside his desire, remembering what you had spent the last night. He looked at your reddened face, and felt slightly guilty. He didn't tell you, but he thought maybe he scared you.

"Of course not, my doll" slowly lowered his face until you reached your entrance "If you want to stop, I will, just say it y/n" kissed one of your thighs, and seeing you, started playing with his tongue inside you.

Now, it was your turn to yell.

“Oh fuck!” You remember why Arthur loved that game. He was very skillful. He kissed you, licked you, played really well down there. You took his green hair between your fingers, begging him to go deeper. You heard a little laugh.

“I want you Arthur…” You couldn't take it anymore, you started begging him, as tears of pleasure fell down your cheeks “Please Art, I want you, make me yours…”

He didn't listen to you, he just kept licking you, and you couldn't do it anymore. You cuming in his mouth, and he drank you all.

Bastard you thought You wouldn't let me do the same with you

As you recovered from the orgasm, he stands up, his makeup was already a mess, but that's what you loved, as you could see Arthur and Joker at the same time.

“Come here, boy” You extended your hand to him. He took it and placed himself on top of you "I really want you for me”

“You just want me?”

“Why the question?”

"You seem to need me" Arthur kiss your hand, as you felt the rub of its length in your entrance, he was torturing you.

“Arthur, please…”

“Please what?” He passing his tongue in your hand and finished with a kiss.

“I-I need you…”

“Yes darling?” He saw you again with those emeralds that drove you crazy. How much you love him, and how much he loves you "Did you know I always need you, y/n?" With that deeply voice, he began to play again, giving small blows with his tip, causing you to moan.

“Y-Yeah…” Your voice became trembling at the end of that word “Arthur, please…”

“Please what?” He repeated that question again while without warning, he passed his tongue through your breast, provoking you more and more.

“…Fuck me…” You didn't ask him, you pleaded him. He laughed a little, and kissed you on your lips, looking for your tongue with his. And as your tongues fluttered in your mouths, he entered in you.

You moaned in his mouth, that strange sense of pain and pleasure was so addictive to you. He moved inside you, going out and in. You could hear him moan, and that excited you more, hearing his voice full of pleasure.

With more desire, you hugged him, moaned and cried. You didn't want anyone else in your life. You only want Arthur, just him.

It was so much pleasure and delight that you even forgot the wound on your abdomen.

You raised your hips just to join him more. Arthur kissed your neck, while he too got lost in lust. The bed hit the wall hard, it could break at any time, and you wouldn't mind. You two couldn't separate, nothing could separate.

You didn't know how much time was going on, but every time Arthur made love to you, time seemed to stop alone for the two of you.

“Arthur…” You cried his name “I love you… I love you”.

“I love you, y/n” you heard his hoarse voice against your ear again. He raised his head, only to see you adore this intimate moment “I love you too”

You kissed him, so much passion overflowing. You felt close again.

Before you could tell him, your body couldn't keep it anymore and gave into the pleasure, you screamed so loud. Arthur began to penetrate you slowly and deep at the same time, prolonging your orgasm, making it more torturous and pleasurable.

Breathing deeply, you looked at Arthur, taking his cheek with your hand, you still felt weak, and loved too.

He came out of you, and he started masturbating in front of you. "Could you help me, doll?" Oh yes, you knew that meant.

You knelt in front of him, took his member and carried him into your mouth. He tried to suppress a groan but failed. A few seconds later he made you stop, and you'll look him in the eye from where you were.

"You want it, don't you, doll?" you didn't answer, you just moved your head up and bit your lip. Like the first time you saw him. You began to masturbate him and kiss his member.

He caressed your head, closed his eyes. If that wasn't heaven, he didn't know anything else it could be.

His body tightened, and his breathing became heavy “y/n, I’m gonna coming, come here”.

You stopped, opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue. With a little scream from him, you got his climax in your mouth. Every drop fell into your mouth, and some escaped through the corners of your lips. He tasted so good; you loved his taste.

Arthur took a deep breath, his eyes were still under in his eyelids, recovering. He lowered his head and opened his eyes, watching you. You gave him a naughty smile. He caressed your cheek, and stroked you with his thumb.

"Where have you been all my life?" For a moment he thought about it, but he really said it. And you blush at those words. The naughty smile was replaced by a shy smile.

"Lost, like you, my love"

Smiling at you, he went to kiss you one more, one more loving, more romantic. “Arthur Fleck, you really are the love of my life” You said to him in the middle of the kiss. You could feel it how he trembled at your words. He separated from you and looked you in the eye.

“You too, y/n, you’re the love of my life”.

He kissed your cheek and pulled aside some locks of hair that fell on your face. "Come here" Took your hand "Look at you, you're a mess, we're going to have to clean you up"

You knew that was just the beginning, it was going to be a long day.

But you didn't care because you loved him, you loved Arthur Fleck, and Joker too, despite the danger. You didn't really care about danger, Arthur would always protect you from adversity, and somehow, you also protected him.

End

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & Grace

Ava: Please tell me you're free this weekend and if not please tell me you can make yourself available Grace: I obvs can be, why though?? Ava: Because Buster and Rio have imposed themselves on me Ava: or been imposed by my mum, anyway Ava: I was planning a party and they'll be way more chill if you come 'cos it's evidently not a rager Ava: but then we can still have a party and I don't have to kms/them 🙄 Grace: excuse you I can hang! but duh I will come cos you so wanna see your 💍👰 man, I see you babes Ava: You know what I mean though Ava: there's an assumption if fam is invited there's not also dealers and roadmen on the guestlist Ava: My brother is in an annoying mood and I cannot with that Ava: He won't be there, obviously 💍👰 Grace: 🙄 yeah Grace: UM tbh when is Buster not Grace: but I'll do the babysitting so you don't have to 👌👌 get you time to be 😍💖😘 Ava: Obvs it'll be good to see you too Ava: even if it clearly seems that shameless Grace: idc I'm that shameless at the prospect of hot london boys sooo Ava: 😂 Ava: I'll make sure there's plenty Grace: I'm not sorry that the accent is like !!! Ava: 😏 It's a fine line Grace: I'm walking a fine line here babes Grace: we don't even need to get into it Grace: get me on a ✈ literally Ava: Fair enough Ava: We can get into it when we've got into enough bottles Ava: They're coming over Friday at some point, ask 'em for the deets Grace: mhmm can't 🤐😶 me after the 🍾🍾 pops Grace: ugh Grace: texting Ri rn though Ava: Your accent is pretty !!! too so it's chill Ava: 🙌🙏 You're a lifesaver Grace: oh honey, you know boys love to hook up with me cos of my mouth but it's also what sends them running like Ava: Good thing it's just a weekend Ava: no time for running Grace: it's my turn ⏲🏃 Ava: Just not too soon, eh Grace: I got you, girl 💜 Grace: but we literally do need to get into what's going on with you & 👰💍 Grace: I'm so not waiting for you to make a 🍾 toast about him before I get any goss! Ava: I'm not planning on getting that wasted Ava: I don't even know where to start Ava: it's really gone 0-100 since we last spoke Grace: 😱😱😱 OMG! 👌 did you hit him up or did he hit you up?? Ava: Well Ava: Speaking of shameless Ava: I did legitimately lose a bracelet that night but I didn't really need to ask him if he'd seen it/could check for me Grace: your [expensive brand 1 that idk] or the [expensive bracelet 2]? Ava: My [expensive brand 3 plot twist] Ava: I got it for my birthday, actually Ava: Anyway, he rang everywhere up but obviously it was long gone, who isn't taking that if they can but I didn't even care 'cos it got us talking again and it was Ava: he wanted to see me the next day, so we arranged to meet at lunch Ava: but before I went to school, I got a delivery and he'd replaced the bracelet Ava: I was like...what Grace: OMG AVA! Grace: that's so cute Grace: he's so Grace: LITERALLY OMG Ava: He really is Ava: and he says the most amazing things and it doesn't just feel like talk but Ava: obviously, it's always going to be complicated, there's no way it can't be, he's said that too and I know it Grace: I'm totally shook Grace: like I thought this would be a one off, obvs no shade Grace: I'm definitely babysitting for you now! Ava: Me too Ava: it's ridiculous but somehow not Ava: not when we're talking like we've always known each other or when he's here Grace: how are you even living a 💖📽🎞 rn like ???!! Ava: I know like fully someone is gonna yell cut or jump out on me and tell me it's just a prank Grace: you literally have to get him over at yours before your parents come back Ava: Hopefully Ava: He can definitely do Monday, so I need Buster and Rio fully distracted then Ava: Friday is up in the air so I'll just let you know when it's safe for you to all head over, yeah? Grace: 💜🤞 Grace: I'll have the freakout that's SO overdue about my own love life Grace: once I start 😭😭😭💔 I can go for hours duh Ava: 🏆 to Miss Grace Cavante Grace: like it's not a lie 💜🙏 there IS a boy & I AM freaking out, I just don't need their advice about any of it 🙄🙄 Ava: Hint taken, no advice but I'm all ears 😶👂 Grace: it's fine you're not really old & 💖😍 smug & just GROSS Ava: Cheers, babe 😏 Ava: Lay it on me then Grace: ugh I can't even Grace: he's just not Grace: he's not any kind of boy I know how to deal with Ava: What's he like then? Grace: like he wants to talk to me?? but actually not just 😏😘!? Ava: Like you're a human? Ava: Where'd you meet him? Grace: at the gym so I was LITERALLY blindsided cos every lad in there is so 💪🤳🏻 Ava: + 1 for not being that kinda douche Grace: but if he was I wouldn't have to leave every 🗨 like ✔ Ava: You don't know what to say Grace: duh what can I even Ava: Well, if you have nothing in common, not a lot Ava: but you gotta do some talking before you can find out if it's worth doing any more, like Grace: ive gotta run away so thanks for the party invite, babes Grace: v well timed tbh Ava: You can do that too Grace: yeah Ava: Why not give it a shot though Ava: you clearly wanna, even with the freaking out Grace: UM hello?? do you not remember the cringefest that was my life not that long ago?! Ava: We've all made questionable choices Grace: & now I'm doing this thing™ where I like don't make a total fool of myself 24 7 Ava: Can't relate, clearly 😂 Grace: well you're in a rom com sooo Ava: Yeah and we could be about to see me 💔💀 eating my weight in ice cream Grace: that would barely be a 🍦🍨 binge 👌👌👌 Grace: & boys don't just buy bracelets cos they're lost Grace: this bitch can't get a boy to do the clasp on her necklace Ava: They do regret in almost instantly though Ava: maybe he thought I was guilting him or some shit Grace: if he thought that he wouldn't still be 😍😍😍 Grace: which he obvs is Ava: It's a headfuck but hey Ava: what ain't Grace: mhmmm Grace: you're about it though Ava: He's a really good guy Ava: I'm aware how naive that sounds given but still Grace: he can be a good guy & bad for his 👰💍 Grace: or she's bad for him Grace: some couples don't work, can't even Ava: She's Ava: a whole other story Grace: how well do you know her? Ava: Her reputation preceeds her in a lot of ways Ava: and I know some of it as fact, basically so Grace: Ew Grace: she sounds so #goals honestly 🙄 Ava: You have no idea Ava: but there's nothing I can do about it Grace: it's the worst Ava: yeah Grace: anything else I can do I totally will Ava: Thanks, babe 💙 Ava: all you need to do is distract, and we'll have a good time to celebrate Grace: 💜 Grace: seriously looking forward to it Ava: Me too Ava: I'll invite every hot boy I know Grace: ILY you know Ava: Duh 😏 Ava: ily too but save it for the 🥂 Grace: 🙏 that's all I say Grace: I don't 💕 gym boy Ava: Just chatting about your 😍 Ava: stop me mentioning mine, please 🙄 Grace: shh no Grace: I wanna hear everything about yours Grace: & your lunch date, thanks Ava: Okay, that was pretty cute Ava: so he picked me up from school in an uber so we got to make the most of the limited time we had Ava: then we went to get coffee and tried like everything on the menu Ava: and we watched a kinda dumb kinda everything film and you know Grace: it's SO rude that he's already married & you can't 💍 him cos that's such a MOOD Grace: like okay never tell Jimmy about the whole menu cos he'll khs but whatever Ava: I know, had to tip the baristas and the uber driver so handsomely Ava: but it was worth it Grace: I can relate, mine have definitely 👀 some shit 😂😂 Grace: less worth it though & obvs not as recently 🙏😇 Ava: I'm sure they found it entertaining Ava: miss it, if anything Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: but for real, I don't Grace: not my reputation & everything Grace: though if your bf's wife can get a 💍 there's obvs hope still Ava: Good Ava: for real Ava: you don't need any of that bullshit Ava: oh girl please 🙄 Ava: you ain't about to force a marriage Ava: or even more shaming, have your parents come together to force a marriage Grace: declaring myself a no fuckboy zone has been good Grace: even if that does mean staying single cos duh Ava: There's far worse things in life to be 🤷 Grace: yeah like I thought it would be the WORST but Ava: Can't be worse than fuckboys Grace: true Ava: even the ones that ain't Ava: or seem like more Ava: total headfuck Grace: preach! literally living my BEST life until gym boy got on my radar and got me like !!?? Grace: 🙄🙄 Ava: yeah Ava: tell me about it Grace: gonna have to put my phone under 🔐 somewhere when we're 🥂💃 Ava: Confiscated at the door, naturally Grace: yours too so you don't call up a divorce lawyer for your boyfriend 😂 Ava: not even funny Ava: 😏 Grace: sorry babes Ava: it would be funny if it weren't true Ava: not for my sake though Grace: I know Grace: I can't even imagine how tragic he's living Grace: ugh Ava: It's genuinely fucked Ava: and like, not in a 'he's told me to get in my pants' vibe Ava: you can tell, even without the full story Grace: & like there's little kids involved it's so 💔 Ava: I don't even know how to feel about them Ava: or if I should think about them Grace: I don't know if you'll be able to not Grace: think about them Grace: & not just cos like he has to Grace: cos you're you Ava: They'll never know Ava: so I don't have to feel bad Grace: 💜🤞 Ava: It sounds like their mum's whole vibe Ava: and their relationship Ava: is like, Ava: enough trouble Ava: I'm not gonna bring anything else to the table for any of them Grace: well yeah she sounds like an evil 👑!!! Ava: She is Ava: was Ava: Ugh, idk Grace: you're not gonna tell me who they are like EVER, are you?! Ava: I can't Grace: it's okay Grace: like it's soo not but I'm not gonna be that bitch about it Grace: or any of your secrets Ava: You can fill in the blanks Ava: it's not as if anyone is gonna know so put whatever hot face suits Grace: I'm here, just like tell me what you wanna tell me, yeah? Grace: no drama Ava: 😘 Ava: I know its so frustrating though, I'd feel it too no doubt Grace: it's this fam & our track record with secrets getting me worried Ava: I know Ava: it's Ava: nothing to worry about Ava: I've got it Grace: just keep hitting me up whenever you need to 👌👌 cos that's something else none of us obvs ever do Grace: & everything's such a mess literally always Ava: I know Ava: I bet Edie would have some advice Ava: super dubious Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: she'd have taken the bracelet & ✌ out Ava: Honestly Ava: is that not the right thing to do tbh Grace: duh depends how hot he is Ava: I doubt he'd be much her type Grace: I'd totally have to hook up with him though Grace: sorry not sorry Ava: 🙄 Grace: 😂 Ava: Ugh, I need to start drinking now Grace: what's he doing? invite him out Ava: He's with his family Grace: then he'll definitely wanna come Ava: Stop Grace: okay sorry 🤐😶 Ava: It's fine Ava: I am gonna go though, gotta get ready Grace: I should totally pick & pack a party outfit or I'll never be able to decide on a make up look Ava: Get busy, babe Grace: mhmmm Grace: you too hun Ava: 💙

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘