cause-i-am-a-mastermind

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

Dear professor this assignment did not nourish my fundamentally curious soul so i did not do it No penalty full 100 points please Goodbye!

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

lacy by olivia rodrigo

GUTS is about Olivia's experience as a teenage girl. the whole album is about teenage struggles and how society affects our perception of ourselves and our struggles.

because as a teenage girl you have to be perfect, smart, sexy, pretty, and you are constantly compared to other girls. both by society, your family, your friends and by yourself.

"she's smarter/sexier/prettier" "she has a boyfriend" "she's in a long term relationship" "she's already settled down"

//

"Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?" the girls, who others are compared to don't actually have it better than anyone else, it's a living hell for all teenage girls

"my stomach's all in knots"

"You poison every little thing that I do"

jealousy feels like knots in your stomach, and when you're reminded constantly, how others are better than you, you can't help but be reminded of your 'inferiority' every and any time you do something

everyone's been speculating who is this song about? is it Sabrina Carpenter? or is it Gracie Abrams?

i think it's neither and both of them. it's about all those 'perfect' girls others get compared to. it's about everyone and nobody. because nobody is perfect, you'll always find someone that is prettier than the funniest girl you know, or someone that is smarter.

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

these spot the difference games keep getting harder

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

not to be a crazy swiftie, but i have a theory about midnights....

it might not even be new, but it's new to me, okay?

i wanna say, that I don't know shit about Taylor-lore, all i know is just bits and bobs and the bops (haha), that's all the context i have.

if you observe the songs in order:

lavender haze - the start of the relationship, start of lover era. it's a new relatioship, he's so accepting of her and all the drama that was around her, she feels the lavender haze creeping up on her (lover album - baby blue and pink clouds, pink+blue=purple -> lavender haze) she's so in love that she doesn't even care what people are saying ("talk your talk and go viral, i just need this love spiral, get it off your chest, get it off my desk")

maroon - the start of the end, a happy memory in the present, but looking back, it's all shades of red. "Red" is a song, in which she describes love as red. she described the love she felt towards him as golden in Daylight. looking back to the happy memory, she realises that he might not be the one, although she still loves him. comparing red and maroon (with burgundy and the other shades she used) we can feel like she really grew up between the two songs, these darker shades of red feel more mature

anti-hero - it all ties back to being a people pleaser (as she called herself in her newly released song" you're losing me"), the relationship isn't working out, so she tries to find the problem in herself. what I'm unsure about is the identity of the anti-hero. is it Taylor who finds all the faults of the relationship rooting from her, or is it Joe, who does not even seem to notice them? it's also notable, that she didn't leave Joe inher will in the music video. they either already broke up, or she already lost faith in the relationship lasting much longer.

snow on the beach - it was a good night. she thought the spark between them was gone, but that night was different, and it gave her hope. it's weird, it's like a dream, something she didn't think would happen, just like seeing snow on the beach. "I can't speak, afraid to jinx it" it made her so happy to have the spark back, but she's scares to mention it, just in case.

you're on your own kid - this song is a bit different, it could be interpreted in completely different contexts, but it also feels like they started to spend time apart from eachother. she's still hopeful, and is still looking to change herself, in case she can save the relationship. but it's just not working out. the one she loved the most, the one she thought was THE ONE just isn't, she's feeling lost like she's all alone in this world.

midnight rain - i saw someone say this was actually from Joe's pov, and it kinda makes sense. maybe both character's are Joe. "he" is his younger self, maybe from before they met, the one, who was looking for a bride. but it all changed, he changed, just like a day changes to another when midnight hits, a completely new day, a new person. the "I" is his current self, the one who is only chasing fame, wanting to make his own name. the song shows, how Taylor feels it's her fault that he changed. Before he met her, it wasn't a problem, but once they started dating, he was known as Taylor Swift's boyfriend, so he wanted to make his own name. this wouldn't have happened, if it wasn't for Taylor, so she simply blames herself.

question...? - i might be just dumb for this, I don't see anything in this, might be about cheating, or just thinking about cheating??? idk. she might started to realize she can't keep blaming only herself

vigilante shit - she's just in her girlboss era, don't mind her, she's servinggg

bejeweled - she gave him everything, he gave nothing. she's a bad bitch and she shows it. she was less public during the relationship, but she's still bejeweled, she can still make the whole place shimmer. "i polish up real nice". he gave up his chance, of always being first, so he now has to "wait in line" - he didn't put her first, so why would she?

labyrinth - he's trying to win her back, and it's working, kind of, but she knows, she can't let go of her walls, despite that being what everyone expects of her

karma - this song is for anyone who wronged her, but there are three, who got a verse dedicated to them, and i believe the third might be for Joe "ask me what I learned from all those years, ask me what I earned from all those tears"

sweet nothing - finding the pebble brings back a memory, that he might not be the villain she made him to be. she might have realised, that she went to the other extreme, that instead of blaming it all on herself, she was blaming it all on him. but it's not like that, it's not black and white, they both had parts in why it didn't work out.

mastermind - she's thinking about how they met, and the fact, that she was pulling the strings, which is a romantic gesture, kind of, but it does feel a bit artificial. we all have this belief that meeting our soulmate just happens, it's supposed to be love at first sight, and she might be feeling like she ruined their chances by pulling some strings right at the start.

the bonus tracks don't seem to follow any chronological order.

the great war - it ties the songs together, it makes the story a whole. when the relationship started to fail, she had everything bottled inside of her. she fought her feelings alone, although he tried to be there for her, it was just feeding the fire. she was blaming him, and despite seeing the situation more clearly, it was the great war. their biggest fight, they couldn't just "plant a memory garden" and act as if nothing happened. "the worst was over" "we survived the great war" they thought this was a huge fight and it's over, but the first world war was also called the great war, until the second happened, so the song title was also foreshadowing another fight.

some people think Bigger than the whole sky describes a miscarriage. which would make a lot of sense, as that tends to have its toll on relationships.

paris - 'yeah, nothing bad happened, we were in paris, remember?' this might be about how the public had no clue about the hard patch they were experiencing, this is the version, that we heard, thinking everything is fine and they love eachother more than ever. "romance is not dead if you keep it just yours" - that's a fucking lie, their romance was literally dying, but they couldn't just say that

high infidelity - it's either about her cheating on him. or the fact, that his feeling were never as strong as hers "the slowest is never loving them enough". maybe april 29th is not the day she cheated, but the one, where she soent the whole time daydreaming about them being married (second verse)

glitch - it completely disregards how she described their meeting in Mastermind. they weren't supposed to become a thing, it just happened, it was just up to chance, that she wasn't "in someone else's playground". the whole relationship happened because of a glitch, she didn't want to have a serious relationship

dear reader - she's talking about her experiences and giving advice, but her main advice is "never take advice from someone who's falling apart" but she's the one falling apart, you shouldn't take her advice, because she's so hurt that she can't see straight ("you should find another") - at first it's just whispers, then at the end, she's the one who tells the "reader" that they should find someone else to take advice from

hits different - this song is after the breakup, but doesn't make it too obvious, but might be the reason it was not online until now. it's not easy for her to move on, because he wasn't just 'one of those Kens, she'd just ghost'. "now the sum burns my heart" this line is referencing Daylight (love is golden like daylight) - love is burning her heart. the breakup made her a mess, she's crying over objects, she goes on tangents about him, so she doesn't get invited anywhere anymore, she still hopes for him to come back

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

i wanna do so many things im gonna explode i wanna finish my silly sitcoms and rewatch the ones that give me comfort and continue my long dumb animes and start really good interesting animes and read the fantasy book ive been trying to finish for months and pick back up the classic i didnt finish last year and read the philosophy book my friend gifted me and watch serious movies and dumb movies and horror movies and gay movies and listen to horror podcasts and comedy show podcasts and find old music and find new music listen to all the albums of one band listen to one album of 20 individual bands i wanna concentrate on my favorite music genres but also explore new ones i wanna paint on canvas and get better at watercolors i wanna draw with black pencil and get better at realism and learn other styles i wanna find my own style i wanna learn digital art and go back to embroidering and make clay figurines and write songs and poetry and get better at playing the guitar and learn bass and drums i wanna sing i wanna be serious and introspective i wanna be silly and fun i wanna revisit every little thing that ever made sense to me i wanna evolve in meaningful ways

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

do you actually want a partner that bad or do you just want to be important to someone. do you just want to be loved without the boundaries that you think comes with an appropriate friendship. do you just want to feel special and love someone who loves you back wholeheartedly. do you just want someone to depend on

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

being aromantic is sitting in class, while the teacher brings up that she read somewhere that there's a new sexuality called "aromatic" and then spending the next 30 minutes listening to the class breaking out in laughter like "wtf is aromantic haha, what fucking losers!! they make up anything nowadays!" and holding back tears, hoping nobody notices, cuz I'm not ready to be out yet

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

Whenever someone came to stay with us for a few days, they either slept in my or my sister's bedroom. I really disliked this, so around the age 15 I proposed a deal to my dad: nobody, absolutely no one can sleep in my room other than me. He thought he was being slick. Like, he still full-heartedly believes, that he fooled me, and that he got the better end of the deal..

Little does he know, that he not only spared me from sharing my room, but also from the annoying questions of when will I bring home a boy.

Be careful what you ask for dad,

Happy ace week!

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

"isn't being aroace so sad?"

it is but not in the way you expect. i'm not sad because i don't have a partner. i'm sad because i am isolated in a society that is obsessed with sex and romance

[cause-i-am-a-mastermind]

Just realized something:

The only reason I‘ve been wanting a romantic relationship (without having a romantic relationship), is because I just want to be someones most important person.

As an autistic aro, it can be very alienating when all of my friends are in romantic relationships. I don‘t understand why they want to cancel seeing me (after a few months of no contact) because they want to meet their partner (that they‘ve been with for a week straight)

No matter how tight I feel like my relationship is with someone, as soon as they fall in love, I feel like air.

I want someone to feel that way for me, without actually having to see each other all the time, without kissing and hand holding and all that jazz.

I think what I need is a dog.

Thanks for listening to my ramble