#i honestly didnt think id get that attached to him and now hes half of my mental health

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

they are best buddies <3

[thetriggeredhappy]

recently rediscovered your blog and read the fic from your dad spy au where scout starts out as the "guard" and then becomes scout from there and lemme tell you that shit put me on some s-tier brainrot. like a cranial decay type beat.

i had a concept in my head that instead of being hired as a guard, he could have been hired as a right hand man to the administrator like pauling, because i think hed be awesome in that position. like imagine having a personal merc who can get in fast and out even faster. but maybe he would stay in the base like the rest of them, sort of like a secret on call intel gatherer, who also maybe sometimes has to dig a couple graves. and also like, nobody on the team expects anything from him at first because its this 20 year old newbie kid. hes dressed in his formal clothes and he talks like somebody from relatively around boston but not quite. i can just imagine one day he comes back during a team dinner with his shirt half untucked and stained with blood, hair disheveled as he asks soldier if he can borrow his shovel, or him debriefing them for a mission when miss pauling is busy. same vibe as the fic i mentioned before but scout gets to have a job as cool as miss paulings. honestly id write it myself if i didnt have the attention span of a fly

anyways your scout content gives me life thank you

scout teamfortress but 20% more competent standing next to miss pauling teamfortress while she's doing her job and doing like silly quips and otherwise contributing nothing like it's a buddy cop film is literally my fucking ideal

(warnings for some canon-typical violence)

-

“Oh, Pauling, it’s good to see you again,” greeted the chairman, smiling in an imitation of a grandfather and clasping her hands perhaps too-kindly considering she barely knew him. “Young as ever, and still so stylish, I see. And who’s the new fellow?”

“He’s just here to help with transport, Mr. Montgomery, nothing unusual,” Miss Pauling replied, returning his smile and adjusting her glasses. “Heavy cases, you know how it is.”

“Of course, I remember you almost toppling clean over last time we made a trade!” Montgomery agreed, frowning at the memory. “You’ll pull a muscle that way, better to be careful. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man. And your name?”

“Mr. Normandy, sir,” the new kid replied easily enough despite his slight East Coast accent, giving the man a firm handshake, expression neutral and stony, the picture of professionalism. Internally, Pauling breathed a sigh of relief.

“Firm grip there, young man,” Montgomery praised, nodding approvingly. “Tennis player, perhaps? Or golf?”

“Baseball, sir,” he replied, still evenly. “First baseman.”

“Ah! Of course! Were you any good?” Montgomery joked.

“At everything but playing in front of the crowds, otherwise I’d be in the major leagues,” he replied, tilting his head just slightly to imply that he was joking, his sunglasses glinting at the movement, and Montgomery barked a laugh.

“I like this one, Miss Pauling!” Montgomery said, and Pauling just barely caught herself from physically relaxing at it.

“We do too, Mr. Montgomery,” she agreed. “I was under the impression that you’re very busy today, so we won’t keep you for too long, we just wanted to sort out the final details surrounding the manufacturing rights for the—“

“—Pacific Northwest branch, up into British Columbia and Alberta, of course,” Montgomery agreed, nodding faintly. “Of course, of course.” He turned to regard his own man in a dark suit, the one standing to the right, who appeared to be unsuccessfully trying to stare down Normandy, who was completely ignoring him. “My briefcase, please.”

The man handed over the briefcase, and Montgomery put it on his desk, opening it and pulling out a sheaf of papers. “All our requests are submitted and approved, at this point we just had a few dustbins to take care of regarding initial percentages and making sure everything is wired to the correct accounts, which names are undisclosed, things like that,” Pauling explained as he glanced through the papers.

“Right, right, everything looks good here,” the man murmured, nodding to himself, sending his long-white hair just ever-so-slightly out of place. “I’m assuming these more sensitive documents should be sent some way besides through the mail?”

“If you finish them today I can take them with me, otherwise either me or Mr. Normandy can return to pick them up at your convenience,” she replied, to which Normandy gave a singular nod.

“Oh, it would only take me a short while,” Montgomery said, waving a hand. “We have a lovely lounge just down the hall from here if you’d prefer to wait there, it should only take me ten, fifteen minutes at most. In the meantime, I do believe there’s also the manner of payment for services rendered.”

Miss Pauling tilted her head just slightly to one side, confused.

“I arranged with Helen already,” Montgomery explained, not looking up from where he was initialing a few things. “The payment, rather than being wired, she asked to be made in material investment. A venture of mine from years ago that she’s willing to sit on. Rather than gold or bonds, she agreed to take some old currency of mine that my family collected, from early 18th century New Zealand and Australia. Monetarily it’s worth around the same, and I’m quite a bit attached to it to be entirely frank, but it was at her request to buy the whole collection from me, and after years of the work we’ve been doing together, well, I’d never trust it with anyone else.”

He gestured to the other man, the one on his left, who stepped forward to hand him a manila envelope, which he passed to Pauling.

“Inside is both keys, the door alarm codes, and all other security information for the building where the collection is being stored. They’ll ask for a few codes and confirmation of identity, only because several other art collections and artifacts are being stored there by other affluent individuals such as myself.”

“Thank you, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling said, taking the envelope gratefully.

“Think nothing of it, my dear. Helen talked me into it all her own,” he said easily enough. “Now, gentlemen, if you would let Miss Pauling and Mr. Normandy into our lounge? I should have these wrapped up before any of us can even think about lunch, eh?”

One of the suits showed the two of them through the doors and down the hallway, through two doors bracketed by similar suits who simply nodded politely at Pauling and ticked their chins at Normandy as they passed them.

Normandy posted up beside the door for all of three seconds before they shut and Pauling pulled her glasses up, rubbing at the bridge of her nose and making a vaguely distressed noise. He then promptly relaxed, instead leaning his hip against an armchair probably worth the same amount as a small car. “So, uh, we’re glad that he’s giving us a bunch of commemorative coins from when dinosaurs still walked the earth?” he asked just below normal speaking volume, eyebrows raised.

“Yes. Very glad. Because unlike about six people total on the planet, he hasn’t figured out yet how valuable those are.”

“What, is a picture of a kangaroo on some copper really gonna make up for a couple hundred thousand American dollars?” Normandy asked, sounding doubtful.

“Not copper. Something else,” she replied. “I can’t tell you much more about it other than that, but these coins are made of something priceless to us. And to the Administrator.”

“…Love? Memories? The magic of family?” he joked, cracking a smile, and she rolled her eyes, moving to open the envelope and start reading the papers inside. “Hey, uh, not to question whether my job should exist, but what the hell am I doing here, exactly? Besides carrying a briefcase. Like, chivalry isn’t dead but I really don’t think you need me carrying your bags and holding the door for you.”

“You’re helping with security, basically,” she replied, adjusting her glasses to squint at tiny handwriting about the collection. “Mr. Montgomery is trustworthy, but he mostly hires out to… well, people like us. His security detail is mostly people we’d rather have screened, freelancers, stuff like that. A lot of people we contract out to are like that. Most of them have heard about me and know better than to try and pull something, since I can hold my own pretty well, but if they haven’t, seeing a second person might persuade them to think it over again.”

“Oh, so I’m like, uh, when it says ‘tow zone’ next to the no parking signs even though nobody checks, or when they’ve got a camera in the corner of the store that isn’t even plugged into anything,” he said, and the looked up at him, confused. “Like, uh, what’s the word… I’m a casual deterrent.”

“Sure,” she said, because it sounded like he knew what he was talking about, shuffling the papers back away and closing the envelope again, making a note to ask the Administrator if she should change their current containment procedures to be closer to Mr. Montgomery’s. “Just… if there’s a fight, you deal with it, otherwise you just stand there and look like you’re paying attention.”

“That’s what the sunglasses are for,” he agreed. “I was blinking morse code at the guy across from me literally the whole time.”

“You know morse code?” Pauling asked, surprised.

“Just the alphabet, ‘S.O.S.’, and ‘ass’.”

She rolled her eyes again, and that’s when the door opened.

She expected Mr. Montgomery, not one of the men in suits. “Excuse me, both of you, if you don’t mind,”the man said, accent having the slightest English tilt to it, a Londoner if Pauling had to guess. “You’re Miss Pauling, the Mann Co. affiliate, yes?”

“That’s me,” she agreed, hesitant, and glanced at Normandy.

“I’m afraid there’s been a mistake. Mr. Montgomery have you the wrong envelope on accident,” the man said apologetically, extending a hand forward. “We apologize for this unfortunate mix-up, it’s really quite embarrassing, but those documents are sensitive and we’ll be needing to see them back now.”

Pauling looked at him, and within a moment, shifted her expression. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she agreed, nodding. “No, right, of course. These aren’t the papers for the currency collection?”

“I’m afraid not,” the Brit agreed, head tilting just slightly, hand still extended, moving a fraction further forward.

“Well, thank goodness we figured out now and not with us halfway back,” she joked, and moved to hold the folder closer to her body. “I’ll take this right back to Mr. Montgomery, then.”

“He’s sent me to correct the error,” the man explained simply.

“Right,” she said, and saw in her periphery that Normandy had already started sneaking a hand in towards his primary, clearly having pieced together something she was only suspecting. “We can bring this to his office, then, right down the hall.”

“You misunderstand,” the man said, taking a step forward again. “I’ll be taking it to his office myself.”

“That’s funny,” Pauling said. “I didn’t realize you had clearance to be in there. Or to be carrying a semi-automatic instead of a standard handgun.”

The Brit reached for the semi-automatic, and before he could even get it out properly, Normandy hit one clean shot to the side of his head and another to his thigh, sending him crumpling to the ground.

Pauling had only as far as pulling her own handgun free, thumb on the safety, and breathed a sigh of relief, glancing over at Normandy, shifting to more comfortably hold her gun. “Quick reflexes,” she noted.

“Just noticed a lot sooner, maybe,” he shrugged, stepping forward to glance over the body, tucking his gun back away.

“What was your hint?”

“He’s here to give us the right folder, yeah? Well, why were his hands empty, then?”

She was just starting to nod and realize that as well when a second man shouldered through the door, holding a gun at the ready. Normandy scrambled to draw his own, but Pauling fired a shot into his knee, shoulder, and neck to send him dropping before he was even close. “There’s quick on the draw, and then there’s prepared,” she said pointedly. “Gotta think of if there’s more than one, new guy.”

He nodded, and drew his gun again, bending to hit the guy on the ground at the temple hard enough to knock him out if he wasn’t unconscious already. He then glanced up at the sound of a shout from the other side of the door, two men shouldering through, guns drawn but lowered. It was only the firm eye contact they made with both her and Normandy that made her pause the millisecond it took to realize these ones weren’t trying to kill them.

“Pauling, what on earth is going on here?!” Montgomery demanded, entering the room and staring with wide eyes at the bodies on the ground. “What could’ve possessed you to—“

“He was trying to run off with these documents,” she explained quickly, gesturing with the envelope. “He knew whatever was in here was valuable.”

“He drew his gun, sir,” Normandy added, tipping his head down towards the body, and Pauling glanced down as well and found herself a little surprised. He’d rearranged the man just slightly, apparently, adjusting the arm to be holding the gun a bit further outward. “Other one was aiming to kill.”

“My, my,” Montgomery tsk’d, shaking his head as he surveyed the scene. “What a mess. My apologies, Miss Pauling, Mr. Normandy.”

“It’s alright, but you need to start doing more thorough checks on your staff, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling stressed.

“He’s only been here two weeks, sir, he was one of the men we hired in a hurry after the incident last month,” one of the bodyguards said, and Montgomery shook his head.

“Thank goodness nobody was hurt,” he sighed. “Mutiny, and besides that, they’re bleeding on my carpet. Here are those papers, Miss Pauling—what a day, eh?”

“It’s really alright, we handled it,” Pauling assured him, giving her bravest smile, a little exasperated now.

“Right, right, you and the first baseman,” he agreed, and Normandy fought back an actual smile.

“If you’d like, we can take care of those for you,” Pauling said, gesturing at the bodies. “To pay you back for the carpet and the scare.”

“Sounds fair to me,” Montgomery agreed, clearly relieved.

-

“My dad’s gonna be pissed, by the way,” Normandy was so helpful as to say on the way back up the path to the base. “And you’re fielding that.”

“About the suit, or the fight?” she asked, glancing at his clothes where he was somewhat covered in a fine dusting of mud and grime from the gravedigging, shovel still in his free hand.

“Both. Mostly the fight. Your fault for saying it’d be an easy one to start with,” he said.

“If it was going to be that much of a problem, you wouldn’t have gotten this job. I’d just have made you go do dishes all day or something,” Pauling replied.

“Point taken,” he said, walking ahead to get the door, holding it open for her. “Wait, we’re allowed to mention what we do, right? Just not names?”

“Or locations, even with travel distance. Round up to the hour if it comes up,” she replied.

“Sure, sure,” he agreed, trailing a step behind her as she led the way through the base.

In the common area, there was a bit of a ruckus happening. Soldier, Heavy, and Demo appeared to be having some kind of arm wrestling competition on a rapidly-toppling table, the Engineer was on a stepstool trying to fix the ceiling fan, and Sniper appeared to be half-watching the beginnings of an argument between Pyro and the Spy regarding use of the oven as Medic patched up a burn on his arm.

“Hullo,” Sniper greeted the two of them, sounding a little bored, Medic giving them a brief, polite nod. Normandy’s eyebrows were raised pretty far as he surveyed the room.

“Hi, Sniper,” she greeted in return, then cleared her throat, raised her voice. “Team meeting in five minutes! New mission for next week!”

Groans from the room at large, the eight mercenaries starting to finish up what they were doing and filing out. Spy moved over, glancing over Normandy and starting to talk to him in rapid-fire French, picking smaller bits of gravel off of his suit as they walked.

“Alright,” she addressed the room, Normandy peeling off from getting mother hen’d by Spy to stand next to the blackboard with her. “Monday, you’re all going on a transport mission. Getting the truck from point A to point B with everything in the boxes intact. Already we’ve had to put up with some people trying to get ahold of these things, so bring your guns.”

“Oh, our guns, you said? Lads, this is a serious one, keep your heads on a feckin' swivel, she’s sayin’ we might even need guns, can you believe it?” Demo faux-gasped, and chuckled when Spy bopped him on the arm, rolling his eyes at the Scot's theatrics.

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved off, flipping through the papers a bit. “So Engie, I’ll need the keys to the truck, me and Normandy are going to be loading those tomorrow, all of you need to be at this drop point bright and early.”

“How early?” Heavy rumbled.

“Six. Hour and a half of drive from here.”

Some complaints from the room that she sighed at.

“Hey, hey, calm the hell down,” Normandy cut in, and she glanced over at him where he had his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. “You chuckleheads get to have all eight of you to unload the damn thing, me and Miss P gotta do all the rest of this on our own and probably kill twenty guys on the way there and back. She had to be up at 6 AM, workin’ since 7 AM, lunch break at noon and nothin’ else, and we just got back now at, what, fuckin’, 10, 11 PM? Any of you work her shift and then see if you even got the energy to complain about wakin’ up early, how about that?”

The room went utterly devoid of complaint or backsass. “Thank you, Normandy,” she said politely, and he just nodded once, glancing off to the side. “Anyways, anything new on this end? Spy, how are you adjusting?”

“Very well,” he said simply. “I have nothing pressing to say. Once I’ve been updated from the stock weaponry provided here to my requested preferred weaponry, I believe I should do just fine.”

“I see you already have Herr Normandy digging graves,” Medic chimed in. “Straight into the hard labor, ja?”

“Eh, hey, y’know, it’s why they keep us young people around,” he shrugged, grinning, and there was a brief uproar to drown out Medic’s entirely offended scoffing and Spy’s snort-laughing.

“Get ‘im, lad!” Demo cheered, and Normandy indeed looked fairly proud of himself.

“Monday, transport mission,” Pauling noted over the noise, writing it up on the chalkboard to hide her own smile from the room. “Normandy, you and me are doing the boxes tomorrow. Everyone on the same page? Good. Dismissed. Oh, and Pyro—stop taking the fire alarms down when they beep. They’re beeping because you light things on fire in the base. Do that outside.”

“Oh, hey, uh, helmet guy, All-American Beef,” Normandy called, and Soldier straightened up. “Here’s your shovel back. Gettin’ my own tomorrow.”


Soldier walked directly over to him, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “That’s a high honor, Cadet,” he said, tone grave. “Do not take this responsibility lightly.”

“I, uh, I won’t?” he said hesitantly, and blinked a few times as the shovel was carefully taken from him before it was promptly marched from the room in double-time. Only then did Normandy look over at her. “So he’s always like that?”

“You’ll get used to it,” she assured, dusting chalk from her hands. “You should get to sleep soon, we have to be up early.”

“Sure thing, Miss P.”

[eiro-ae]

Unsure

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: None

It was late afternoon when you had managed to make it home, a cute valentines gift bag in your hands, full with gifts and a card for your one and only valentine. It had taken you so long to hand make half of these items, but it was definitely worth it. You placed the bag on display on your kitchen counter before making your way to your room and pulling out your phone.

[6:23pm] Whatcha doin?

You waited for a moment, a giddy smile upon your face.

[6:27pm] Practice.

The one word response was a little new, he had always made time to give you an appropriate response because he knew you hated one word responses. However, you let it slide, just thinking that he must be super busy.

[6:29pm] I have something for you. Can you text me when you’re available?

Another moment passed, the three dots seemingly permanent on the screen.

[6:32pm] Sure, it’ll be a little bit though.

As much as you had hoped it would be sooner, you understood that he was busy, so you gave a small pout before replying.

[6:34pm] Okay, that’s fine.

To pass time, you laid there, scrolling through youtube. A few funny videos popped up, and of course you had to watch those. One in particular had almost brought you to tears from laughing so hard, so you decided to send it to Yangyang. You didn’t expect any response, and as you expected, you got nothing.

You continued to wait, for much longer than you wanted. It was getting later and later and not a single word from Yangyang. Your heart began to drop, bringing your mind to a thinking state. A state you knew you didn’t need to be in. You always overthought things, and you knew that, but you just couldn’t help it. Yangyang was the first good thing that has ever happened to you and you were just so scared that he too would get tired of you and walk out on you.  

It was now 8pm, and you still hadn’t heard a single word from him. Does he even know what today is? Did he just forget? Those questions brought you to another question, one that you had put off for so long. What are we?

You and Yangyang had been friends for so long, and you obviously had a massive crush on him, but… when he asked you to be his girlfriend, he was so confident. He kind of laughed about it, as if it was a joke. Of course you said yes, you’d be a fool to say no. His face had fallen, he seemed so shocked that you had said yes. You couldn’t tell if it was because he wasn’t expecting you to feel the same way, or if he was shocked you took his joke seriously. He never said anything about it, instead he just said okay before running off with his friends.

Now that you two were… together? You hated that you couldn’t quite label it. Anyway, he doesn’t treat you like his girlfriend. He still treats you like a friend. He never holds your hand, he never kisses you, he never calls you any names other than your name or some stupid nickname he gave you in middle school. You were starting to wonder if maybe he was joking that day, that he didn’t actually want you to take it seriously.

You shot up from your lying position, eyes wide and mind racing. Was he joking that day and now has to deal with you because you said yes? Was he just trying not to hurt your feelings? Did he not want you? Is that why he’s so distant? It would make sense. You could feel the familiar sting in your eyes, trying your hardest to push back the tears, telling yourself it was a stupid reason to cry and that you were just overthinking things again, but it only made it worse.

You gripped onto the pillow you had been holding before shoving your face into it as you cried. You didn’t even notice your phone going off behind you.

[8:22pm] Okay, I’m done. What’s up?

[8:29pm] Hello? Did you fall asleep? It says you’re reading my messages

[8:34pm] I know you’re awake, you never sleep this early.

You still didn’t even notice that he was blowing up your phone, even when he called you.

[8:37pm] 1 missed call

[8:43pm] 2 missed calls

[8:48pm] 3 missed calls

He was determined to reach you, but you just wouldn’t answer your phone. He knew how you were so it was only beginning to worry him.

[8:51pm] Please answer me, you’re starting to make me worry.

[8:56pm] This isn’t like you… what's wrong?

At this point you had calmed down with the tears, instead you laid there in your bed, curled up like a child, completely forgetting that you even had a phone.

[9:16pm] Fuck this, I’m coming over.

The tears had picked back up, and you hated yourself for it. You kept telling yourself to stop being a baby, that it’s a dumb reason to cry. After another ten minutes you had expected it to die down again, but it only picked up even more and you were to the point where you were choking on your tears. You didn’t even hear the door to your apartment open, nor the footsteps that led to the opening of your bedroom door as well.

Yangyang stood there, watching your shaking figure and listening as you cried. His heart had dropped and he was more than confused. He slowly made his way to you, announcing his presence.

“No, no, no, come here.” He lifted you up as he sat on your bed before pulling you to him. You latched onto him, crying into his shoulder. You wanted to stop but it was only making it worse now that he was here.

After a good few minutes, you were able to calm down enough to pull away from him. He looked down at you with a concerned expression.

“Why were you crying?” He asked you softly as he moved a strand of hair from your face. You didn’t know how to tell him, you felt like maybe he’d just look at you like you were stupid for it. However he has a way of making you tell him what he wanted to know so you just learned to give up and tell him anyway.

“I.. um…” You sighed, looking away from him. “What are we?” You deadpanned, bringing a wave of silence into the room. Yangyangs brows furrowed as he thought about the question.

“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely confused at the question.

“I mean.. You asked me to be your girlfriend, but you looked so surprised when I said yes.” You started. He was still quite obviously confused.

“Well I mean, I was…?” How did you even properly explain to him how you felt?

“I know but… it seemed like maybe you were joking when you asked me out? And maybe you were shocked because I took your joke seriously? I mean, you haven’t treated me any different from that day. You never hold my hand, you never call me any cute names, you never kiss me, you never do anything and I was starting to wonder if you were just dealing with me because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.” It was silent again, and you were starting to regret even telling him that.

“That’s not it at all.” He states plainly, going to grab your hand before sighing.

“It was never a joke, I wanted you, I still want you. I was surprised because you said yes so quickly and I was expecting a no. I was so nervous that day but I had to do it. I never do anything with you because I’ve been too nervous to. I didn’t want to move too fast because I didn’t want to scare you off. I guess that was the wrong choice. I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t want you.” The explanation was enough to make you cry again, but you forced them back. Yangyangs hand made its way to your cheek, rubbing away the tears that had already fallen.

“If you want me to hold your hand, just tell me. If you want me to call you baby, I will. If you want me to kiss you, don’t hesitate to ask me. I’d love to do all these things, I just didn’t want to rush you.” You looked up at him with glossy eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity in his own, but there was none.

“Kiss me.” You spoke softly. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he looked down to yours. He angled your face as he leaned down, his eyes closing as his soft lips met your own. The kiss you shared was gentle, but it meant so much to you. You kissed him back with such feeling, and you could almost understand how he felt just by the way he kissed you. When he pulled away, you were slightly disappointed, wanting nothing more then to attach your lips to his once more. He gazed down at you with a smile.

“So.. about that gift.” You let out a giggle before lightly smacking his arm.

“Kiss me again and I’ll go get it for you.” He smiled before leaning down to meet your lips once more.

“Gladly.”

This was based on a dream that I had. I honestly forgot I wrote it but I thought I’d go ahead and post it. 

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hello, Haddock! Now that Voltron (sadly) ended, how would you rank the seasons? Also, could you tell how many times you've rewatched them?

Hey there, friend! WAY happy to chat Voltron and all its seasons!

Unlike most fandom culture, I’m not a chronic rewatcher, and the default assumption is that I’ve only seen any show once. It’s rare for me to see shows more than once, honestly, even ones I love. I certainly will be watching VLD more times, but because of my normal watching habits, I’ve seen a large portion of the show only once. I’ve seen S1 probably about 5 times, S2 thrice, S3-4 twice, and S5+ once. I’ve seen “The Last Stand” from S7 twice.

These are rankings based somewhat upon my emotional attachments and not simply objective elements like narrative structure! XD I already know my preferences are going to be different than lots of people in the VLD fandom, haha. These rankings are also based on memory, which is pretty strong admittedly for VLD, but it leaves room to change with a rewatch.

EIGHTH PLACE: VLD Season 8

Let’s be clear: I don’t dislike Season 8 and there’s much I enjoy. Give it up for S8 love!!! Standout episodes to me include “Launch Date,” “The Prisoner’s Dilemma,” and “Day Forty-Seven.” The women going shopping together and Pidge dressing as 1980s Darrell Stoker made my life. Not to mention… it was fun spending time with the MFEs; they didn’t take a disproportionate amount of time, but gave us good moments to make us love them. I’m thankful for the S8 ending giving us both a sense of wrap-up for the plot conflicts, but also looking forward to what our Paladins will do to rejuvenate the galaxy. There’s much I’m thankful for with S8.

That said, S8 isn’t my jam as much as other seasons. I’m not much of a shipper and I wasn’t into the Allurance, nor did I get pulled into the magic-heavy plot conflict with Haggar and her Alteans. And while S7 does give great screen time to Allura, it felt a little less like an ensemble cast and more like a spotlight on her. Enemies’ minds changed too fast for me to feel realistic, and the magic-wonky plot didn’t feel as gripping and intense as S7. It’s the reason I’m placing S8 here: from my own preferences, I attached with other seasons more.

SEVENTH PLACE: VLD Season 5

For whatever reason, S5 didn’t make as much of an impression on me as other seasons. I wasn’t as invested in concepts like “Kral Zera” and “White Lion.” Given as S5 is an odd numbered season in the middle portion of Voltron, it has an innate disadvantage: it’s written in all but name as the first half of a season, which means story arc ending payoffs wouldn’t happen until S6. I also feel like S5 is where plot writing is at one of its most tangled or muddied, given as there’s lots being juggled and introduced conflict-wise and lore-wise and universe-wise and character-wise.

However, S5 - like all seasons - gives us cool stuff. We got Matt (one of my favorite characters) participating in an adventure, lots of Lotor screentime, and a callout to 1980s DOTU that I never thought they’d be able to turn into a good episode (“White Lion”). And!!! We get to meet!!! KROLIA!!!

SIXTH PLACE: VLD Season 3

I have particularly fond attachment to S3. This is the season where I started getting actively involved in Voltron fandom discourse, giving my own take on Project Kuron theories. This is the season that gave us the first glimpse of the Classic Voltron formation - Keith in Black, Lance in Red, Pidge in Green, Allura in Blue, Hunk in Yellow. I felt a thrill go through me as Keith, for the first time, said “Form Voltron!” Also… Lance really stepping up to show his leadership potential??? So good. And this is the season where we meet Lotor, another long-anticipated character… and oh my goodness is his character introduction gold. So there’s lots of stuff I hold strong affinity for in S3.

The reason I have to rank Season 3 back here is because it’s more about the Paladins floundering around than anything else. It’s meant to create a new sense of chaos and instability… their leader Shiro is gone, and now there are new unexpected threats like Lotor to handle. However, at the same time, since half of the season is just the Paladins floundering around not knowing how to work together, it makes me less attached to particular episodes. None of the episodes are favorites or standouts to me on their own. There’s lots of cool moments throughout S3, but I think the only episode I notably emotionally attach to is “The Journey.” But still? Good season!

FIFTH PLACE: VLD Season 1

I can’t believe I have this amazing season all the way back here. I want it to be higher, except that I do have to rank other seasons above this one. 

Season 1 is what gets everything started. It sets the stage for what Voltron’s all about, teaching us about lions and robeasts and Zarkon and the Galaxy Garrison and all that good stuff from 1980s nostalgia… all the while creating a new vibe and energy to the franchise. In retrospect, S1 feels much calmer and less high-stakes than the rest of the series (especially post S2). However, it’s a solid season with good episodes that never feel less solid and good. We get great Hunk material with him finding conviction; great Shiro and Pidge moments as they share different worries over the abduction; hilarious Keith and Lance clashes; lots and lots and lots of good things. It’s a very solid season, especially once we launch off Arus.

FOURTH PLACE: VLD Season 6

If you want to know how tight my season rankings are to each other, S6 was almost listed second place.

I attach to specific episodes in particular for S6. I love the visuals in “Razor’s Edge.” I died howling with laughter in “Monsters & Mana.” I fell into so many emotional feels regarding Keith and Shiro in “The Black Paladins.” We get one of the all-time best emotional, action-oriented episodes of VLD… and one of the most amazing, hysterical filler episodes in S6. Despite being seven episodes long, S6 is an incredible ride and adventure start to end. It’s hard to believe so much occurred in that amount of time!

There’s hoards of great stuff in this season. We get the Kuron arc resolved, with lots of emotional content between Keith and Shiro. We get the Lotor arc resolved, learning whether or not he can be trusted, with great Lotor and Allura time. We get Keith returning to the Paladins. We get the introduction of Romelle, which all DOTU lovers have been waiting for forever.

THIRD PLACE: VLD Season 4

I have to put VLD S4 here because of its emotional power. There are damned AMAZING moments this season, alongside some of my favorite episodes and moments of all time. I know I and some of the other fans aren’t huge on “The Voltron Show!” But fuck it, guys, S4 gave us “Reunion” and “A New Defender”!!!

Matt is a delight this season, from his first meeting of Allura, to his tour around the Castle of Lions with Pidge, to his technological connections with his sister and Hunk, to his participation in the Rebels’ fighting forces. We also get some of the funniest moments for me in Voltron, between learning how to milk Kaltenecker and seeing HOW Pidge finally managed to rig up the video game system.

Then there’s the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. “Reunion” is the single most emotional episode in all of Voltron for me. Even though I’d seen screencaps of Matt prior to watching S4, I felt as shocked and heartbroken as Pidge to come to his gravestone. There’s so much POWER to this gravestone scene; it’s one of the moments that resonates with me the most even after I’ve finished the whole show. It might even be my Number One FAVORITE moment in the entire show. It’s not my place to analyze that scene here, but DAMN. 

Furthermore, the climax with the battle of Naxzela was INTENSE, with Keith almost sacrificing himself getting me screaming. That was such a great battle and climactic moment in VLD. This was a great culminating moment, in which the series has officially built up from a small team to a universe-wide conflict.

We get standout moments with Keith being badass with the blades, Matt taking initiative, Pidge seeking out her family, Allura helping Voltron flee the gravity field, Kuron becoming increasingly more suspicious. VLD S4 ramps everything up from the emotions to the excitement, resulting in an awesome and intense six episodes.

SECOND PLACE: VLD Season 7

It’s really hard for me to put this as second place instead of first place. I originally had it in first place. I want it to be first place. I LOVE the second half of S7 so much. This is, possibly, my favorite season from an emotional standpoint because wow.

It’s all-around outstanding. S7 showed us how far the Paladins have come as heroes; they operate with great teamwork, skill, and professionalism that is oh-so-cool to see on screen. They’re still the characters we love and cherish, but they’ve grown SO MUCH since their first days on Voltron. This is fully-fledged heroes doing fully-fledged battles and it’s GREAT.

S7 gives us standout moments to so many characters, including Hunk, Shiro, Sam, Colleen, Veronica, and Keith. We even get some good adventure time with Romelle! And as far as character interactions are concerned, we get touching moments between Keith and Lance, Keith and Hunk, and so many other combinations.

The story raises the stakes to higher levels than ever before, with an emotional and exciting conquest of Earth. There’s nothing more horrible and high-stakes to audiences than a homefront war. We feel extreme pain for Hunk with fears for his family, and Shiro for the loss of Adam. We feel the great sense of danger and desperation starting with “The Last Stand.” We feel the drama of a long and extended climax fighting for Earth’s freedom, including moments where the Paladins control the Lions outside their body (so cool), Shiro commands the ATLAS (SO cool), and the ATLAS also transforms into a fighting robot (SO FREAKING COOL!). This has some of the most exciting, badass stuff of Voltron ever. I love it.

Highlight episodes for me are “The Last Stand” (two episodes without the Paladins about Earth fighting for its freedom? this was fucking amazing), “Trial By Fire,” and “Lions’ Pride.” Essentially - all of the second half of the season.

FIRST PLACE: Season 2

Season 2 is probably THE MOST solid season in all of VLD. 

Almost every episode is good, memorable, fun, lovable, enjoyable, classic. It highlights the full ensemble cast. It creates an EXTREMELY exciting, exhilarating, fun climax. It is a strong narrative season, cleanly and proudly finishing the first 26 episode long arc for VLD. This season shows VLD at its best. Since it consistently delivers, there’s nowhere else S2 belongs except the top.

We get great Shiro time, what with his arc spent learning to trust Black… leading to him being a badass unlocking the Lion’s wings and taking Zarkon’s bayard. We get great Pidge time, whether it’s her freaking out over video games or drawing deeper into the beauty of the world - technology and biology both. We get great Keith time, with him fighting for answers in the Blade of Marmora and infiltrating Zarkon’s base in an extremely dangerous mission. We get great Hunk time, between unlocking his Lion’s claws and taking initiative in the Weblum adventure. We get great Lance moments, where he shows us he truly can be a sharpshooter for the team. We get great Allura moments, especially in how she fought against Haggar in the finale. This season rocks it for EVERY Paladin.

Not only does every individual Paladin get good spotlighting, but S2 also rocks it with character interactions. How Allura handles Keith being Galra is a memorable moment of character development for both of them. How Hunk and Keith interact in “The Belly of the Weblum” is a delight. How Shiro loses his cool with Slav is hysterical. I can never complain to Lance and Hunk combinations, like in “The Depths.” And of course every episode focused on Keith and Shiro gives us good feels.

Standout episodes for S2 include “The Ark of Taujeer” (THE COLORS), “The Blade of Marmora,” “Blackout,” “Space Mall.” I cannot believe I watched an episode where the character dressed as space pirates and rode on a flying cow to escape a mall cop. That happened. It’s a delight. And S2 kept rocking it with the humor, down to Pidge creating all her Paladin buddies out of space junk and imitating them. But S2 also gives us some of the most memorable moments of VLD storytelling, what with “The Blade of Marmora.” That episode is a staple for many reasons. Not to mention… all of S2 works together cohesively for the long-term arc structure.

And then there’s the climax. So well-done. So exciting. So immersive. So intense. So cool. So badass. Great colors, great flow, great plot, great everything start to end. I was in a THRILL at the end of S2 because this climax was so unbelievably fun. In retrospect it’s got competition with S7, and S7 probably takes the cake now… but fuck it, S2′s end will always be awesome.

Every single season in VLD gives me something to be excited about. There are things to love each step of the journey. I’m thankful for every episode from S1 to S8. 

What a ride this journey has been.

[ssj4]

Sorry to bother you, but I keep seeing posts about a future Goten AU and I keep getting really curious! However, when I try to find links to anything about it I end up at some abandoned URLs.

SECOND TIME TRYING TO ANSWER THIS CAUSE MY IDIOT ASS FORGOT I HAD ONE TYPED OUT AND CLOSED EVERYTHING :)

some disclaimers im getting most of this from an old draft i had written about the au, i havent watched the specific scenes in dbz and dbs that these are based on in well over 2+ years so i dont remember the timeline of events that well so im sorry if some of it just straight up doesnt make sense lol

this whole thing did start out as an excuse to replace the romantic scenes with mai in dbs with goten actually so the truten themes are pretty significant but that aside future goten is a very good boy with a much different personality and outlook on things… much like how future trunks is compared to his main timeline counterpart :3c the whole thing was developed by me and my gf together and we never rly posted too much about it and the broken links you did end up finding were probably from like the one or two times we did but here u go im glad u asked 

I HOPE THE READ MORE LINK WORKS ON MOBILE IF NOT IM SORRY

the big change is it starts out with chi chi getting pregnant before goku dies of heart disease or whatever in the android saga instead of the cell saga, so even after he dies in that timeline she still has their 2nd son and he grows up in the future timeline with trunks.

when they were kids (like 10-15) goten was stronger than trunks just bc gohan and chi chi were there to teach him just a little bit. trunks and goten sparred a lot though so he was able to keep up but never really passed him. (that part isnt really important but i figured it was a nice detail that made sense)

thats when history of trunks comes into play, and they both get really serious about gohan training them. the scene in the movie where gohan knocks trunks out before flying off and getting killed is the same except now he just knocks out 2 kids instead of 1 i guess. 

i feel i gotta add that this au was created when the future trunks arc in dbs was airing, and mai was introduced as his love interest, and honestly in my opinion the scenes were written really well but i just wasnt digging the fact that before she was granted a younger appearance she was already middle aged, like she was old enough to be his mom if that makes sense. so it really isnt a dig on mai at all cause i love her and id die for her its just the romantic plot that i didnt like. so when that was airing i thought “WELL what if that was someone else” 

she’s still with them though in this timeline and she still has her younger appearance! 

the future timeline is still progressing the same as it did in canon, the androids still wrecked the place and no one was strong enough to do much about it so trunks is still set up with a time machine to meet with the other timeline. goten stays back and does his best to protect everyone while hes gone just in case

some stuff happens in between here but skip ahead to trunks coming back from the trip after the cell games i guess! lots of stuff happened obviously like trunks literally dying, spending years in the time chamber with his dad, meeting a whole gaggle of clowns that he’d only heard stories about, seeing gohan as a preteen. hes got a lot of stuff to share!!! now hes back and he can take care of the androids + cell + and goten can catch up and lifes pretty good over there! 😇

during the rebuilding period goten would spend a lot of time with chi-chi and ox-king and still slept over there occasionally which she really appreciated, and he invited trunks and bulma over there with him frequently.

despite this he wasnt present when she died as no one really expected goku black to wipe out the landscape so far from the city, but she and ox-king died along with more than half of the population. (ugh god im so sorry queen i love you😓)

as i said before mai is still here and she’s still the leader of the resistance!

events of future bulmas death is the same as well as mai originally intending to go with trunks when they meet up together in an abandoned building. goten is already there as the three of them rest up a bit and start making their way to capsule corp. goten was planning on staying behind anyways but he wanted to see the two of them off. when goku black interrupts them as they arrive, trunks and goten encourage mai to escape, seeing as she only has a gun and everyone already knows bullets arent gonna work. 

this scene is the same as it was in canon, where trunks tries to rush black but gets beaten quickly. mai trying to buy him time to let him escape is replaced with goten actually fighting him and taking a hit for trunks but getting knocked out as mai did. trunks under extreme stress from already losing his mom today assumes hes dead instantly, (he has dumb bitch disease, he didnt even check for a pulse in canon!🤔) and fires a masenko to escape into capsule on his own 

after trunks pops back in time and black is focused on searching for him, mai sneaks back in to retrieve goten (even though they told her to leave she really just ducked behind some rubble and stayed close, because she wasnt just gonna leave them!)

she takes him back to an underground bunker with other members of earths resistance and when he wakes up she tells him that trunks made it to the time machine and that hes presumably in the other timeline now. 

idk if yall remember it well but i rewatched some of the episodes just for this, and trunks in the main timeline believing goten was killed and mai is alone and he wont be able to get back is so sad. and when he spent that day with gohan and his family and cried thinking about how if black hadn’t have shown up, he couldve had a family too… he doesnt deserve to be this sad 😥

skip to when he’s finally able to get back home with goku and vegeta with him and they make their way to the bunker where he sees mai and goten together! the scene in canon where he rushes over and starts spilling his heart out is the same, with him telling goten he thought he died

they get a really sweet hug moment here when theyre both happy to see the other is still safe and it gives both goku and vegeta some Food For Thought, because goku actually didnt know there was a goten in this timeline, and he doesnt really recognize him at first. vegeta has the idea in his head that this is probably goten.

goten never really had any sort of real attachment to his dad. it makes sense hes never met him, hes only ever really heard about him through others, (his mom, his brother, trunks, and probably bulma has mentioned him as well) so he definitely knows OF him its just that, he doesnt know him. so when he sees the real goku standing there for once a lot of thoughts run though his mind, like, “that looks A LOT like goku black!” “thats definitely my old hairstyle” and “holy shit is that my dad?” but the first thing he actually says out loud is “Holy shit its goku orange” and vegeta really almost loses it because cause any doubt in his mind about this kid being related to kakarot just went right out the window cause only someone related to him would say that

and as you probably know a lot happens after that with them all finding a way to defeat zamasu but i dont want to include all of the rest when you can probably just interpret which scenes were changed  

ANYWAYS now instead of trunks surviving the apocalypse its trunks and goten surviving the apocalypse. thats why its not a really super romantic deal like Who has time for dates when goku black Might possibly be hiding in this abandoned olive garden?? so theyre just very close and privately affectionate

the ending where trunks and mai get to live in a new world with their counterparts is the same except gotens there with them of course, dbs left their ending pretty open 

so that takes care of the story changes, heres some additional details and information on gotens character in this au! 

heres his design, drawn by my girlfriend @ssj2 uwu !! 

he kept his natural hairstyle for a while, but i think he changed it sometime during the rebuilding period after the androids and just let it grow out a bunch. up until then he kept his natural style purely to honor the guy he’s heard so fondly of even if it brought him a lot of mixed feelings when people said he looks just like him. a really distinct feature about his new hairstyle is that the spikes look like horns and i love that a lot !!

and the shawl he wears was the same one chi chi wore 

some personality traits for future goten is that he has a habit of bottling up his negative emotions and has trouble taking care of himself, as hes always more focused on the well being of his loved ones. he can be mischievous and cocky but hes not overconfident (or he hasnt been since gohans death) however in some situations he can be charismatic and assertive which works really well imowhen their timeline is erased and theyre temporarily in the main timeline, goten gets to meet a bunch of people like gohan and his family, chi chi, and even his counterpart 

sorry if this post was messy i wasnt really sure how i wanted to make it look and im kinda bad at dumping information out so if any of its confusing just redirect me to it and ill try again gdjfksjdgsfk 😭❤

hmmm anyways thank u for reading!! its an au we made years ago and we love a lot and i hope u do too! be nice pls!! and send asks about it if you’d like cause its fun to think about! 

[emetkoto]

anyway heres that velaw answer but now (hopefully) under a readmore

General:

  Rate the Ship -      Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs | Its MY ship and i WILL go down with it

  How long will they last? - listen i try not to think about how young law is (inevitably) gonna die but yknow as long as he’s got left theyre soulmates todd

  How quickly did/will they fall in love? - not even gonna lie it was pretty quick on veras end bc yknow she hasnt had a lot of human contact in her life so developing a crush on the first person to show her real kindness in 10 years isnt too much of a surprise but its more than that she just keeps falling and falling and before anyone knows it you have to pry her off him with a crowbar and stitch her mouth shut to stop her from loudly announcing how much she loves him.......not that he minds

bUT on laws side im honestly kinda attached to the idea of him initially being like “its ok if we stay like this but i cant respond to your confession right now theres just too much going on and id rather wait until we’re all not constantly about to die if thats ok” and vera being totally ok with that bc if its important to him its important to her

  How was their first kiss? - honestly this can go two ways: cute or angsty but either way its almost definitely vera initiating and its definitely super sudden

Wedding:

  Who proposed? - neither of them ever really thought about a wedding per say it was just kind of law being like “stay by my side forever” and vera being like “cool” but ofc the other heart pirates overheard that and would NOT let them get away without making it a big deal

  Who is the best man/men? - law had three (3) best men and ill give you some hints:

one was a polar bear

none of them were luffy despite his whining and begging

two of them wore sick shades

  Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - nami, robin, and ikkaku! vera tried to talk bepo into being one of her bridesmaids too bc she thinks hes neat but in the end they managed to get her to drop that   Who did the most planning? - honestly it was 99% the other heart pirates but vera was definitely very involved once stuff really got going   Who stressed the most? - law bc he knew the strawhats would show up and he knew he had to figure out a way to keep them from ruining everything (see my post about the lawlu wedding for ideas on how to contain luffy)    How fancy was the ceremony? -    Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 it was definitely a pirate wedding but it was a damn good one | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.    Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - luffy (he was only half not invited bc law didnt invite him but vera did so he got the equivalent of schrodingers wedding invite) and caesar clown (law didnt think it was necessary to put him on the blacklist since what were the chances he’d even find out about this but it was important to vera so he did it anyway)

before you ask: of course HE wasnt invited. obviously. he got a dark invite. meaning he was invited to be on the exact opposite side of the world from where the wedding was happening. being off the planet entirely was also an option

Sex:

i can count my sexual experiences on one hand so

  Who is on top? - depends on who starts it really, both are pretty happy either way....ive said it before and ill say it again: law has taken the strap and he WILL do it again   Who is the one to instigate things? - its a pretty equal split but definitely leans more towards law   How healthy is their sex life? -    Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now    How kinky are they? -    Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 i have shared my thoughts on laws interest in being called ‘doctor’ during so yknow roleplay is definitely on the surgical table and im sure with a power like laws im sure things can get weirder | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - again i can count my sexual experiences on one hand so all i can say is law seems like a strong man with a lot of stamina but vera isnt incredibly fit so yknow, average?   Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - yea law always makes sure its as good for vera as it is for him and vice versa    How rough are they in bed? -    Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time depends on the mood that day really | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.    How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -    No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | You’ll have to pry them apart with a crowbar

Children:

  How many children will they have naturally? - 2! Jade and Axel!

   ive talked about them before but yknow ill take any excuse to remind ppl of them...esp jade i love her and ugh i miss drawing

  How many children will they adopt? - none most likely   Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - dont have to get stuck with diapers if you can just shambles them off   Who is the stricter parent? - it’s law definitely law he wants to make absolutely sure his kids dont turn out like him but unfortunately both of them still do    Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - vera, law never says anything bc every time he tries jade reminds him of something stupid and/or dangerous he did in the past and hes like “yeah thats fair i have no room to talk theyre all yours vera-ya”   Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - vera!   Who is the more loved parent? - jade likes vera more and axel definitely prefers law but its not like they dislike the other parent   Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - both bc vera will MAKE law go   Who cried the most at graduation? - oh definitely vera   Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - law. law. law. law.  law. law. l

Cooking:

  Who does the most cooking? - bold of you to assume the heart pirates would let either of them lift a finger when it comes to cooking   Who is the most picky in their food choice? - vera is a pescitarian and law cant have gluten so id say theyre both disasters and hard to cook for especially when youre cooking for both of them at once.......god help sanji while planning the menu for their wedding   Who does the grocery shopping? - see the first answer in this category   How often do they bake desserts? - once vera discovers baking she does not stop. ever.   Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - i mean if you mean like, animal meat then vera is a salad eater but if its like fish then she prefers that...law just doesnt care as long as its gluten free and not anyhting resembling bread   Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - they both take cooking lessons from sanji to try and surprise the other but then they both walk into the kitchen intending to cook for the other and they end up cooking together :weary: im weak   Who is more likely to suggest going out? - law likes when life is easy so he’ll never turn down the opportunity to just sit back and wait for someone to serve him food   Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - l a w if theres one thing he learned from his stupid bird dad its how to set a fire when you dont mean to

Chores:

listen life is easy when youre law cleaning and chores in general just arent an issue

Misc:

  Who takes the longer showers/baths? - vera forgets the side effects of devilfruits sometimes so she’ll run a bath thats slightly too deep and be stuck in the tub for a while.......meanwhile law casually broods in the shower for hours at a time like the emo kid he is   Who takes the dog out for a walk? - vera, she loves running with dogs    How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - law isnt big on holidays but the rest of his crew is and their excitement rubs off on vera so she always drags him into it   What are their goals for the relationship? - overcome their trauma together and help each other grow   Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - LAW the mans sleep schedule is worse than mine   Who plays the most pranks? - vera...shes terrible at it and he can usually see it coming from a mile a way but sometimes he plays along bc every time she laughs its like watching a star being born and how could he pass that up

[huangfilms]

School Pres!Donghyuck & Secretary!You

summary: you and i work as a team and before our last year of high school we didnt really talk much outside of our meetings and preparation plans but now that we have i think i have a big crush on you

requested by: this lovely anon!! <3

(A/N) here it is bubs ! im sorry i made you wait so long :( BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING ! this trope really pulls at my heart strings cause i really b in my feels LMAOO but i hope you enjoy ! <3 (ps,,, she is unedited)

school pres!donghyuck

thats cute wow i love this already although idk how its going to turn uout because i always: wing it HAHAKDJSF

okay well!!! donghyuck being the school president would be a shocker to most because he doesnt seem like the person to go for a position like that

but hes actually really good at what he does

and thats scheduling all of the student council meetings, planning fundraisers, school dances, all the Great Stuff

but he honestly couldnt do it without his trusty secretary

which is you

youre his secretary

you write down all of his ideas cause he trusts you like that also cause he has no physical stability to do it himself smh

even though you guys are like,,,, attached to the hip in student council, outside of it you guys barely talk LMAO

but people seem to ship you guys

youve been the secretary for 3 years of high school and donghyuck was the pres for 2!

so you guys have a good dynamic

it was kind of awkward at first because you admired him from afar,, so like a crush,,, and you didnt really know how to act around him

 and you were used to the old school pres ,,, it was weird to just have a shift and a big change so quickly

but it was okay cause donghyuck had a great work ethic

before you two became the secretary and president, donghyuck had a lowkey crush on you too

i think thats why he has been just a bit awkward with you at first as well but both of u are oblivious

but then he got used to having you around and used to having 1 on 1 meetings with just the two of you guys

he saw it as an opportunity to get to know you but you??? you didn’t really talk much about your personal life

all he knew was that you hung out with that one sophmore and one junior, jisung and chenle

oh and one person from your grade, jaemin

donghyuck never really bothered with you after your first encounter LOL

like !! youre nice and all but you just talk to him for work purposes! but thats okay! cause its better than not talking at all no?

so you guys have one of those 1 on 1 meetings at the library about an upcoming fundraiser to fund prom (cause its a new year and u need to think quicc abt ideas so people can vote on the theme)

you guys talk for hours on end about preparations and what you guys want to sell

you guys decide on doing a bake sale because who doesnt like baked goods !!

so you and donghyuck set out a date to bake EVERYTHING 

and after the meeting hes just like, ‘its lunch now, do you wanna go somewhere with me to eat?’ and he smiles so sweetly 

this is the first time youre really looking at him too

he looks,,,, really good

and his smile? the sun cant compete n e x t

and youre like wow this boy handsome

but you agree on getting lunch with him because youre pretty hungry and idkmaybeyoucouldgettoknowthisfineman

SO you guys walk to a nearby food joint and on the way you guys are just chatting away and youre finally opening up to him

!! wow hyuck: head over heels his headass prolly in love by now LMAOOO

and then you get into the topic of how you guys came to be the secretary and president

hyuck says ‘i wanted to prove everyone wrong,,, they always say im a trouble maker or whatever so honestly i started out of spite but i love being the school president’

all you said was ‘oh’ but you nodded up at him cause its cool that he likes being it but its badass that he proved everyone wrong and Still Loves What He Does

so you guys get to the food place and you guys just joke around th e majority of the time

it feels like you guys have been actual friends since forever

when you guys go back to the library u guys forget about what u 2 were supposed to b doing

and then you open up your notebook and then-- oh yeah Prom Preparations and Fundraising

so then you and hyuck plan ahead that every other sunday you guys are going to mass bake a lot of sweets so you can try and sell them all on monday

and everyone has tasted your baking before,,, so they usually sell a l o t

so the following sunday, you meet hyuck at his friends cafe,,, cause it has a big kitchen

and then you guys get cracking cause you have a l o t to do 

half of the time you guys are throwing ingredients at each other but you guys Get Shit Done

you get to know hyuck more and you now understand why a lot of people have a crush on him

hes the sun!!! hes charismatic!! hes funny!!! hes got everything omg

his only flaw? he can’t frost a cupcake to save his life

youre just laughing at all his attempts but anywho

its the next day! so the first monday to sell sweets

you and hyuck made a schedule of who would be selling the cupcakes during what lunch period

you assigned jeno, jaemin, and mark for 1st lunch, then you, hyuck, and chenle, for the second lunch, and then for anyone who wanted to buy after school would buy from renjun and jisung

interesting that u guys would be selling together and have poor chonlu third wheeling 

ANYWAY

the whole bake sale was a success,,, you sold every cupcake and chenle was honestly just gagging the whole time when he was with you guys cause you two sat really close to each other and being r e a l l y friendly

chenle swore he could see u guys heart eyeing each other but whatever

‘just friends,,, okay y/n’ ‘shut up chinlin’ ‘hello??? yes, can i get some new friends’

so over the course of id say a few months??? you and hyuck are literally everywhere together

you guys plan together, you guys eat together, you guys do everythin g together

people are starting to think that you guys are dating cause,,, yall sure act like it

and i dont know maybeyoulikehimalotnowthatyouvegottoknowhimmore

maybehelikesyoualottoo

but you guys are just pining over each other and the dreamies are so s i ck of it

so they tell you guys that hey!! emergency council meeting in five lets all meet in the board room!!

you guys are just laughing on the way there about a stupid meme or something and when you walk in the dreamies are quiet and Looking At You Guys

‘what?????’ ‘nothing. absolutely nothing.’

you and hyuck are just like,,, well whats this meeting about???

so the dreamies are just quiet for a second, they all look at each other and nod their heads like they have some secret code

and they all stand up and renjun says, ‘we know u like each other,,, so we’regoingtolockyoutwointhisroomuntilyouconfessyourloveforeachother BYE’ and they all run out

you hear a click,,, you couldnt comprehend what the heck renjun said but now you did and youre both just frozen

so you just clear your throat and then you say, ‘i mean we might as well get some work done’ and you sit down

and hyuck just deflates a bit cause?? do u not like him??

POOR BABY SAY YOU LIKE HIM Y/N YOURE HURTING THE SUN’S FEELINGS

and then he goes, ‘haha right.’

and you could hear the shift in his voice cause hes a bit upset

and then you stop what youre doing and go,

‘listen hyuck, i like you more than a friend,, but i thought it was obvious? we were pretty much acting like a couple already so i didnt realy understand why i have to spell it out for you? i mean i understand if you dont like me like--’

and he kisses you

right on the lips

what a dream amirite kids

you could say that you just got,,,, sunkissed LMAOOOO IM SO LAMEKJGFJHSG

but you kiss him back cause you like him so much this means he likes you too!!!

when you guys pull back hyuck is just shyly grinning up at you and its??? adorable wow

and the dreamies all have their ears up against the door

so they hear everything

and chenle says ‘my parents!! finally!! are!! together!!’ and hes just so l o u d omg

and you and hyuck just burst out laughing and then it dies down after a bit an d hes just like,, ‘will you be mine : )’

‘course i will !! : )’

and so you guys just walk out of the room hand in hand

okay but your 1 on 1 meetings?? not a lot gets done

you know why?? hyuck is always staring at your face and is trying to kiss you 25/8

‘hYuck we need to actually do work thi-- Will You Stop Throwing French Fries At Me.’

and he just l a u g h s

‘oh yeah?? youre laughing now but how about when i say no kisses for a Week.’

and he just stops and sits up straight cause you give him The Look

‘suddenly i love doing work lets talk about our next fundraiser’

and you just chuckle and hold his hand

‘i think im in love with you.’

and hyuck freezes

he squeezes your hand and then he says, ‘im in love with you, too.’ and you guys just break out into big smiles

oof okay wow uwus: officially gone

school pres!donghyuck is a whole ass hard working sweetheart

im going oto end it here before my uwus spill out some more

hyuck! existing! in this trope! sign me up.

Masterlist

[bipedalseal]

re: playing dante's route: went for the bad end today! its so funny that nearly all the problems in the 2nd half of dante and nicola's routes would have not happened at all if nicola and dante had a dialogue first. like, "bro, hey, when we were kids u said u didnt want to be mafia anymore do u still believe that", and dante went, "lol ive been groomed into this role, i cant imagine doing anything else also ive found that this id my way of protecting the town and i want to continue that", and idk maybe nicola would say "ok then *cancels plans wirh gilbert*" and tell him togive more shits abt actually managing the family.

anyway that's my imagination, i dont want to actually write a fanfiction on this so ill stop

but this bad end was??? so???

1st of all. the anti church sentiments during dante's meeting with the lao-shu was. hm mr yang are you sure you're not just doing this for entertainment lmao. after having to do some cl homework it was a very satisfying read

2nd. the voice acting. the way the casino guy said "grazie, signore!" rlly made my day then reminded me he had the same va as shirotani from ten count. also reminded me that i wanted to do voice acting and singing back then but i never worked on that. nobuhiko okamoto's roles are always the same archetype?? back then it was karma akabane, then rin okumura, bakugou from bnha, and idv merc theyre all very delinquent type people. tho id say yang isnt like rhe general delinquent, more like some evolved version of karma akabane. im not complaining tho i love his stuff. and dante's voice actor. idk who he is but his delivery during ch9 bad end was pretty great. cherry on the icing. or ice cream??

3rd. i could mostly predict what was going to happen in the bad end but admittedly i was surprised by dante or mc not getting sacrificed. u shouldve heard me muttering to myself when they were abt to go to church. "gilbert is pious he wouldnt kill anyone at church" yeah he wouldnt but NICOLA WOULD. he didnt and that also surprised me. i thought dante wouldnt kill gil, bc he killed nicola out of surprise right? then he pulls the trigger. ok fam, st peter can talk to you himself.

4th. seeing lan alive and not going mad out of grief reminded me. im pretty sure lee drugged her but why? i mean im also pretty sure yang instructed him to. was she not an instrumental subordinate? or was she too distracted from fei's dying that she became unproductive.

5th, disappointed at how "being mad" is used for reasoning of anyone slightly villainous. its v dehumanzing when its actually being caused by humane reasons. for example the casino guy. he didnt do it bc he was mad he did it for the bottom line; lan didn't go berserk at falce just because of the drugs she was already thinking abt it beforehand; bad end nicola was an extreme response to death and grief and roberto is well, typical serial killer stuff, some feeling of oppression and the only way out is by violent justice. it loses all nuance when "going mad" is the reason.

6th, good end dante and mc consider themselves equals within the mafia and their relationship, with each their set of duties (dante protects victor, victor makes sure he doesnt forget his goal). in contrast, the bad end duo has a clear distinction between them despite deliberate public attachment. dante very clearly sees himself as a protector while mc worries about him, a more passive sort of role, also theyre both not so honest with each other.

7th, pretty sure dante is a *ghosts one-night stand* guy.

all in all it was a very, very different flavor to nicola's bad end. i like the relationship presented here, pretty good mix of side characters, lore was a lot but not so infodumped (bad end was a great palette cleanser), pretty sure therell be some good closure in the best end regarding dante and nicola's relationship, and nice set up for the future routes. its a nice contrast against nicola's route lmao. did i mention i got that guy's best end yesterday? contrast indeed. still havent written my post abt that. i will say tho, i think nicola's route spoiled me i keep expecting dubcon scenes now lmfaoo

going for orlok's route next, then back to dante's best end or maybe nicola's good end, we'll see. i like yang a lot more honestly, but save the best for last ig? also where tf is orlok lol. i still cant believe he has a route while roberto doesnt.

[silkhedge-blog]

IN RESPONSE DK

YEAH a lot of you know im back its kian (kistu but stop calling me a name i used for a week) and i use he/him now

im not bothering with another apology post since i already made one out and touched base on each and every topic pertaining to YBC so if you want to take up that issue then i welcome you to inbox my twitter about it like a mature person would since i refuse to interact with 14 year olds that werent even here during the entire ordeal

@hopespeakacademy @despairkomaeda (:

ive already proven my race and disorders and if my personal statistics really make u that sweaty then i implore you again to INBOX MY TWITTER and ill send you both transcripts of diagnosis, pictures of my father and paternal grandmother, and if youre still not convinced ill throw in a little video of me getting an abilify shot for my schizophrenia now get to work boys!

THIS IS MORE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE FACTS AND ITS FOR NO ONE ELSE BUT THEM SO U CAN BOTHER WITH IT IF YOU LIKE BUT ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS i just know they definitely will read this and jump to a little defense since they dont expect me to come back to sort out their little fantasy world theyve been making up

RE:RE:ANTI-AUTISM: i was dating “satoko” at the time and things were fine right like it was all good. i very vividly remember looking at the chat where they were repeating what kuro was saying

keep in mind this is an alter that sent “satoko” gore/misgendered me intentionally before/encouraged numerous people to cut themselves/WAS THE ALTER YOU SAID RAPED THAT GIRL/generally was a fucking asshole to everyone and as much as you want to say “well he has aspd! cant be helped” thats insinuating people should just Stick it out when someones abusing them when anyway i went to sleep and then i woke up and everyone was like OHHH WHAT THE FUCK! and it had turned out kuro had cut the sclera of the eye! im also going to point out thats the white of your eye and there was no damage to the iris/pupil/cornea or none of that junk....... just the white part and yet you were like “i have permanent eye damage” at first you didnt blame anyone but it was just funny that you decided to want to cut out satoko all of a sudden after i started dating her and after all the shit she put up with kuro to be your friend you still thought this was like ok to do and by “do” i mean you started heavily pressuring me, a kid with bpd, to pick between you two Hmmmmmmmmm something isnt right there! this brings us to the next piece of our timeline

RE:RE:ME TRYING TO KILL YOU:

really bitch i asked 4 different people and they all remember me posting a picture with a handful of pills in my hand asking if that would kill me and even though people said it wouldnt guess what happened? i took them and almost fucking died!!!!!!!!! i woke up with a tube in my nose while my stomach was pumped with charcoal and then was sent to the psych. i have no memory of the hospital but i do remember this: you telling me not to kill myself because hinata would, his mom would, your mom would, and you would SO theres your fucking suicidal cult you pushed the idea of me leaving satoko so much i literally wanted to die and thats why i did what i did theres no other reason even if i said there was in the past it was literally because i wanted to still be with both of you but you were the only one trying to push me away from them BRINGS US TOOOOO...... RE:RE:I ABANDONED YOU

you or kuro had me unadded on skype when i got back from the hospital after that attempt; that attempt that was on the 13th of sept the day after you claimed i was making a “suicide cult” to kill you with just due to me being “annoyed” you absolute scamp you! one would say you...abandoned me?

RE:RE:I ABUSED YOU

i just

while i shouldnt even bother with this because its so obscure, a little twisted, and you didnt even bother to explain how i was abusing you when all i did our ENTIRE relationship was let you step all over me and tell me how to interact with my friends like rememeber when i called luca my “funky little monkey” and you yelled at me in PUBLIC in front of EVERYONE because i was joking around with my best friend of two years, the person i depended on for years before you came around, in a way you didnt like? RIGHT!!!!! how ableist of me you conveniently forgot that and even if you remember its because your BPD so i should just let go of that /sarc again; NO ONE HAS TO DEAL WITH YOUR DISORDER AT THEIR EXPENSE RE:RE:YOU DIDN’T ABUSE ME

of course i remember this differently and all my friends seem to think the way you treated me was FUCKED UP aside from that i seem to remember there was a point in time where you had no one but me and being an emotional vulnerable person due to my own BPD you had to milk it juuuust a little dangan ronpa was and is my special interest and you decided to guise out first conversation as innocent when now its makes sense? remember? your monster komaeda and hinata? how you started placing little things pertaining to your kink into it? some shit about this big fish komaeda sticking hinata in his big old fish mouth? accidentally swallowing him? oh but. i didnt catch on so like ITS ALL GOOD but its not all good because theres a lot more to this than youre letting on too and we both know it (; me being a sexually abused person in the past has skewed me and before i even mentioned being an alter to you i told you about being raped by someone (that person being my abuser) because you told me so much about yourself and i thought “hey i can let me guard down!” instead you started using the fact that i was clearly becoming heavily attached to you since i only really had you and luca at the time to depend on as many people have pointed out this would make me very consistent for your abuse range you pushed weird kinks i was clearly uncomfortable with to the point of dissociating but every time you asked if it was ok i said yes because i loved you and thought it was alright and sure this was partially my fault because i never felt like i could speak up and that i was obligated to talk about these things with you to appease you when i really wasnt this only made it worse when you took that time that i CHERISHED because it was the time where i FINALLY opened up to someone about something that was hurting me for all that time to just..... try and tell me it was all kuro??? when i know it was you then i dont like vore or micro/macro i never have anyway then there was things you did like split on EVERYONE that dared to breathe the wrong way and pressuring without question and basically turning mentally ill autistic kids into a weapons (im DEFINITELY not the only victim) to defend yourself against the shit you and your alters shoveled on to the plate on your own accords theyre people who can fucking atone for their sins like everyone else without you trying to label it as “ableist” because A FUCKING GAIN SINCE YOU DONT SEEM TO BE ABLE TO DRILL IT INTO YOUR HEAD NO ONE HAS TO DEAL WITH SOMEONES DISORDERS AT THEIR OWN LOSS RE:RE:SUICIDIE BAITING

honestly? fucking probably did and im sorry for that. none deserves it

RE:RE:YOUR RACE

JUST HAVING A LAUGH BECAUSE I LITERALLY TOLD YOU THIS ABOUT ME THOUGHT ID POINT THAT OUT SINCE WHEN I DID YOU DIDNT CHANGE YOUR TUNE ABOUT BEING HALF JAPANESE UNTIL NOW OVERALL

take it with a grain of salt but youre fucked and going no where in life by sitting around at home but feeling sorry for yourself and making it oh so obvious to us who have been preyed upon that youre out for blood if your mother really does have you locked away why not go here or here where theyll help you get a home of your own and to get treatment instead of rotting away and becoming so bored and bitter with yourself that you switch between fucking with peoples heads and fucking with your own? you can delude yourself in to whatever you want but the fact doesnt change that you can either take my kind gesture of trying to get you out of a shitty situation or spit in my face like youve been doing for years now?