#i honest to god have no idea how women do this stuff

[limpbizkitmutual]

I need to stop shaving parts of my body just to see what it feels like because I regret it instantly every time. I feel so naked

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[yuri-is-online]

hi, i'm not the same anon but i would like to hear more about the fyuuture kid au 👉👈 especially about riddle!!

hello new friend, you picked someone who is having a real bad time in this au (ﾟωﾟ；)

I am going to give some general information about Yutu and then move on to some Riddle specific stuff.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, general au explanation can be found here, and the posts can be found on my masterlist under the series section.

General Yutu Facts

"Yutu" is supposed to be a fake name fyuuture kid is using to help hide his identity, but I am open to suggestions on that. Originally he didn't remember his name and Crowley picked it out for him, but I like the idea of "Yuu two" being a nickname he had in both your world and Twisted Wonderland and picked as his alias to honor his parent. Yutu really admires Yuu, he has nothing but empathy for your situation and respect for your strength, and while he certainly fought with you from time to time (some Yutus more than others) he wants to be like you.

That desire was very much cemented when he heard about how you won against the overblot phantoms. Yutu's unique magic changes depending on who his dad is, but all Yutus have extensive experience in combat magic and have fought a lot of monsters. Including overblot phantoms, same as you. His fights didn't go as well though... he's extremely afraid of the Great Seven's phantoms and has regular nightmares about them.

Back to the names... I didn't have names picked out for every version of Yutu, but Riddle does happen to have been one of them. His real name was supposed to be March, yes like the march hare but if I'm honest I was more thinking about the saying "in like a lion out a lamb" because I thought that described Riddle's temper pretty well.

The other ones I picked out I still like are Merrin (I swear I found it on a list of mountain themed names??? But it means sea born or pearl of the sea), Laurie (yes like little women, his unique magic was supposed to something to do with painting), and Roland (I have an unironic love for French peerage ok please do not judge me).

Some of the Yutus were meant to have older siblings who stayed behind in Twisted Wonderland (Riddle! Yutu wasn't one of them), but that was very much an idea I didn't develop extensively since it was more left over from Fire Emblem Awakening. I wanted there to be a Lucina type older sibling character who was very protective of Yutu and wanting a future where he gets to stay in Twisted Wonderland and they get to be a happy family. But again I didn't cook this idea extensively so idk how to feel about keeping it as a part of the ayuu.

Anyway on to the Riddle specific stuff ¬‿¬

So that bit about Yutu's real name coming from a description from Riddle's temper: I like to leave what Yutu looks like up to the reader, but Riddle! Yutu if nothing else took two things from his father, his (lack of) height and his temper. His facial expressions when pouting and angry are eerily similar, and they both have a strong affinity for fire. Riddle! Yutu is a lot like Riddle Tsum now that I think about it? Very high energy and likes to jump around all over the place, but determined to be at least somewhat dignified.

Since traveling back in time Yutu has been "studying" with Grim to try and get his flames hot enough to burn blue to flex on his dad and to bond with the monster. He usually just ends up watching him though, the mental image he had of Grim vs what the little guy is actually like is really wild.

Back to the temper, unlike Riddle Yutu wasn't home schooled so he got into a lot of trouble for losing it on other students. He had a chip on his shoulder about not having a dad, having a parent with amnesia, and especially about being short oh god he is so spiteful about that. He got sent to detention a lot, and shamefully it made him fight with Yuu a lot too. Not that he hates Yuu, he was just very emotional and not always the easiest to deal with. His last few interactions with Yuu before they died were very strained, and he is filled with remorse for a bunch of stupid things he said.

When he gets to the point where he has to admit to Yuu who he is there is going to be a lot of crying and begging for forgiveness. He was a stupid, angry kid who just wanted to know who he was and didn't feel like he belonged lashing out at the one person who he knew wanting nothing but the best for him. He doesn't really feel the need to ask for forgiveness from his dad (yet)... by the time Yutu was isekaid into Twisted Wonderland Riddle had been corrupted by his overblot phantom and was wrecking the Queendom of Roses so he never really met the real Riddle until he traveled back in time.

He also got compared to Riddle a lot, Yutu isn't stupid by any means but because of all that time spent in detention he is a bit behind on the fundamentals. Not to mention all Riddle has done up to this point is practice magic and Yutu only just found out it was real so of course there was going to be a skill gap! But still, he's Riddle's son and Riddle was a very memorable student for Crewel, so Yutu was guaranteed to hear some comparisons. It didn't help the daddy issues though...

Speaking of Yutu's time at NRC, he did get placed into Heartslabyul by the Dark Mirror and he does know all 810 rules of the Queen's rules. He's not as obsessed with them as Riddle is but he still knows what he's supposed to do and tries to be on his best behavior. He was not interested in being dorm leader and wanted to instead focus on the things Yuu always encouraged him to do, like controlling his temper and getting good grades.

I sort of like the idea of his unique magic being the ability to grow/shrink because in the book Rule 42 of the Queen of Hearts says “All persons more than a mile high to leave the court" and I like the idea of him trying to use his spell to get out of arguments with his dad.

Riddle has no idea that Yutu hates him... at first. This is partially because Yutu is usually very polite to him and partially because he is utterly unaware of how much people are afraid of him in general, but he starts to pick up on it when he tries to interact with Yuu. He wants to have a private tea party with just Yuu? Well Yutu immediately starts acting like this is somehow scandalous and calls him out on his feelings in front of the prefect and he wants to lose it so badly- Yuu agrees anyway and Riddle immediately gets unreasonably smug while Yutu pouts. Take that sucker! He's going to study with the prefect all alone and since it's Riddle you know you really are just going to study.

I don't think Riddle really considers Yutu a rival for Yuu's romantic attention, partially because he isn't fully aware of what it is he feels for Yuu, but even if he was. Riddle knows that Yuu sees Yutu as someone under their care similar to Grim, they actually talk to him about it quite a bit and he has no issue with that. He is actually sort of grateful for Yutu's existence since it has given him an excuse to talk to Yuu more and let them know how he respects them.

Yutu's academic struggles are something that actually bring him closer to Riddle ironically enough. Riddle has created study guides for Yuu and Grim before, he has no problem doing that for Yutu and inviting himself over to give instructions.

"Did you not get a lot of help from your parents?" Riddle sounds nervous, and he should it's an invasive question to ask. Yutu wants to be angry, but when he looks at Riddle, he just feels sad. "Not that it is any of my business really but well. I just noticed you never really talk about them, even to Yuu."

"My dad wasn't really around." He forces himself to look at Riddle when he says it, but it doesn't make him feel any better. If anything it makes Yutu feel worse, he knows about as much about Riddle as Riddle knows about him now that he's forced to look at him. "And my other parent... they tried really hard. But I wasn't always willing to accept it."

"I can't say I understand what that would be like." Riddle looks like he is trying to and that should be what he wants, right? "My mother home schooled me so it's hard for me to understand that someone's parents wouldn't be a constant figure in their schooling."

"You were home schooled?"

Yutu didn't know anything about his grandmother, it didn't even really occur to him that he had one and once he learns about her... well it certainly makes things make a lot more sense. He doesn't want to meet her, but he is curious about what she thought about his parent. What would she think about him? Does he even want to know?

My last concrete thought is that Yutu doesn't really get the whole horse girl thing. He is sort of afraid of horses actually, but I can see him maybe wanting to ride with Riddle once their relationship gets a bit better just to do something with him.

I like the idea of Riddle! Yutu being very into baseball for some reason and there's no way he's going to convince his dad to do that with him ha. Well not in this timeline anyway, I can see good timeline Riddle doing a bunch of research on baseball so he can talk to his kid about it. And showing up to all his matches to scream in support of his kid instead of at the coaches. He is breaking the cycle we love to see it.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Noticed something about zutarians: for people who claim to be "THE femist ship" they spend too much time praising Zuko for doing chores, being empathetic, supporting women and other stuff he didn't really do in canon all that much.

Like, feminists would consider these a basic level that any normal person, man or woman, should do for their own's sake without any praise. Oohing and aahing "look, he spends time with his own child!", "oh, you washed the dishes, my hero!", "where would I have been if you didn't do the laundry, my knight in shining armor, you really are a savior!" is... very sexist, actually! And zutarians do just that. It’s not enough for them to write him doing chores, they have to emphasize this, compare him to Aang/Sokka/anyone else who of course doesn’t do chores (because no one except Katara and Zuko ever does anything chorelike in these fics it seems), or just outright praise him for that.

Of course, zutara never was a feminist ship, so my observation doesn't add anything new. I understand that zutara kinda fits "female gaze" or whatever, though, it's a women's dream about a perfect partner, which is totally fine by itself – it just has nothing to do with Zuko (and, dare I say, Katara – I doubt she would be so ecstatic about a guy doing "women's chores", she is used to dividing the work around camp and takes it for granted). And that's why I cannot read even relatively harmless zutara fluff – it very often is very focused on this exact subject. I like Zuko for who he is and the truth is 1) he's flawed even after his redemption and 2) a huge part of how he sees himself is his prince title. Nothing of it matches zutara fantasy of a male housewife, so they have a whole other character named Zuko to fit into their imagination land, and I just have no interest in that.

I'm still impressed by that one fic (not in English) where Fantara was 100% sure that Fanfic-Firelord-Zuko will never ever "force any hapless woman" to take care of his newborn daughter (as opposed to her awful, awful husband, Fanfic-Aang who can't even feed his son, who's still eating only breast milk, for several days while Fantara decided to be away). Sure, girl, he's a fucking ruler, he has a whole country to think about, tons of very important shit to do every single day, a full palace of servants, of course he will always personally change diapers, no doubt. I bet he'll even do all the breastfeeding by himself, since his wife died at childbirth and forcing other women is out of the question.

I'm bitter now, and maybe taking it too far but what if – just "what if" – there are very few people who actually ship Katara and Zuko? Because it seems that most content creators in zutara fandom actually ship their two OCs who are very loosely based on these two characters (but don't I dare tell it to their faces, haha, they are under impression that their image of Zuko and Katara is somehow the only correct one).

Just one little disagreement: Zutara doesn't fit the Female Gaze because there's no such thing in the first place. There's not a single trope, way to direct a scene, or romance formula that universally appeals to women, and the same thing can appeal to different women for radically different reasons.

"Male Gaze" and "Female Gaze" were supposed to be a way to point out sexism (and sometimes straight up abuse) in film-making, but it honest God became some bullshit gender-essentialism nonsense REALLY fast. We gotta let that "That is for boys, this is for girls" mentality die.

Aang does chores with Katara. That is completely irrelevant to me shipping Kataang. Aang is not sexist. That doesn't even reach my top 50 reasons to love him as a character. Aang does a lot of things that don't match the idea I was raised to have of a "manly man" and I could not give less of fuck about it. It doesn't bother me, but doesn't particularly appeal to me either.

But for lots of people that is HUGE and some of the main reasons why they love his character and his romance with Katara. And notice I said people, not women.

I like plenty of enemies-to-lovers ships - I don't relate to a single meta/analysis I've ever seen of "Why women like bad boys/enemies to lovers/redeemed villains so much." It all rang hollow to me. But to plenty of women it hits the nail right on the head.

Hell, 50 Shades of Grey is a "romance/erotica" full of accidental misogyny, abuse-apologism, and slut-shaming yet the fanbase is 90% women from all kinds of demographics, and the main thing they praise about these goddamn books/movies is that it did NOT make them feel like they should be ashamed of wanting to have kinky sex with a hot guy.

The Female Gaze isn't real.

[olichat-reads]

Mrow | Part Four

Bakugou x roomate!reader

Summary: you finally get answers on how to break the quirk & return human

Words:

A/n: yall i fucked up :D this isn't the last chapter

Part Three

🌟

Zigzagging through the crowd you kept your eyes on your target, little legs racing as fast as they can, determined not to lose sight of what might be your key to undoing this quirk.

Having not notice the tiny ball of fur barelling towards her, the girl in question yelped in surprise as you launched yourself onto her leg, determined to latch on like a fucking leech until you had answers.

"Its you!" She cried out, big doe eyes looking down at you, snarling & fur bristling.

Yeah its me! Now turn me back human for the love of god!!

You honestly doubt a small furball yowling up at a full grown person was even the slightest bit threatening but the girl looked as if she might keel over in fear. Her wide eyes darted around to uncaring passerbys before returning to peer down at you.

"Please can we go somewhere less, um, crowded first?"

🌟

You ended up at the park not far away, not completely empty but a definite upgrade from the bustling streets.

Wait. You understand me?

"Um. Yeah. Kinda comes with the quirk," she started, fidgeting with her hands before the floodgates burst open with her rambling. "I'm so, so sorry for turning you into a cat. And- and about the other day! I don't do those kinds of things. I was just being stupid. I knew it was a bad idea even if my friends said otherwise-"

You watched the girl as she went on a tangent, babbling on frantically. You sighed, she was young, probably a highschooler.

Alright, alright. Calm down, kid, you're gonna scare yourself into a panic attack. I'm not turning you in, okay? I get it, you made a mistake. And honestly I don't think you could pull of a crime even if you tried, kid.

The girl cracked a nervous smile at that.

"Thanks Ms Y/n." You smiled at the use of your hero name. You didn't mind not being a big shot like Bakugou, but it felt nice to be recognized every once & a while.

Nah, I get it. I did stupid things too when I was your age. Oh. What's your name?

"Its Miyo."

Miyo. You smiled at that, lifting a furry paw to pat her knee. So now, can you turn me back human please?

"Oh, um," she stuttered, her entire demeanor dulling again. "I can't actually."

You felt your fluffy ears droop at that. What do you mean?

"The quirk breaks when you have an unbridled want to turn back human. To be honest, I thought you would've returned human by now. But I guess its not the most predictable, I'm sorry," she said remorsefully.

I just need to want to turn human? You ask, confused. Did you not want to return human this whole time?

"Sort of. But it has to be a very, very strong feeling to override the quirk. Most of the time it helps to feel extreme emotions that associate with needing to be human again. Like intense desperation, fear, stuff like that. Ultimately its all on you though, Ms Y/n," Miyo explained with apologetic eyes.

You sighed at that. Well, at least it was something. Thanks, Miyo. I-

You were interrupted by a loud explosion that made the ground beneath you shook. Switching into prohero mode, your body kick started into action, racing into the streets. Though you skid to a halt before disappearing into the sea of people, throwing one last glance to Miyo.

I'm going to be naked when I turn back human, aren't I?

"Yeah! Sorry again, Ms. Y/n!"

You sighed internally at that. Well. Nothing you could do about that.

Another explosion sending the ground shaking tore you out of your thoughts & had you throwing yourself into the crowd, darting towards the direction of the commotion, the adrenaline in your veins guiding you through the chaos.

"YOU FUCKING PSYCHO-"

You hear his booming voice before you caught sight of the explossive blonde. You took note of the two women that were apparently the cause of all the commotion & Bakugou's arms that covered in frost. You watched as one of the villains aimed for his arms again, creating chunks of ice that engulfed his hands all the way over his elbows. Bakugou blasted them off but you could tell he was struggling, his explosions smaller than usual.

They were aiming to weaken his quirk, you realized.

Bakugou didn't have his gauntlets. Added with the cold weather & the nature of the villain's quirk he was at a massive disadvantage.

Bakugou! You yelped as the other threw your roomate into a wall, her attack reminding you a lot of Nejire's wave motion.

Fuck. Fuck. What do you do. What do you do?? You didn't have your quirk. Even hand to hand combat was out of the question. You were a cat for god's sake!

You felt your heart drop when when you watch the shockwave wielder take aim for another attack.

Yea, no, fuck it.

You let the adrenaline take over & before you know it, you're rushing forward, little claws & teeth digging into the flesh of the villain's calf, eliciting a pained yelp from her. Distracted, she missed her shot, just barely missing Bakugou, her blunder allowing him to dodge.

You didn't have time to feel relieved though, having her attention turn to your little self, uselessly hanging off her leg.

Fuck.

"Sunny, get away from there!" That was all you heard before familiar hands intercepted you as Bakugou dove in for cover with you, narrowly avoiding a hit from the ice quirk's partner.

Having decent cover, those glaring red eyes looked over at you. "Are you insane?! What the hell is wrong with you??"

Bitch, I was trying to save your ass! Fuck off with the name calling-

You were interrupted with another blast that sent the two of you crashing into a boutique, the display of clothes cushioning what would've been a painful slam to Bakugou's back while you flew out off his hold, landing with a thud a little distance away.

Bakugou!

Dread filled your veins as you watched the pair tag team your roomate. You scrambled to get to him despite knowing there is little you can do. You couldn't just watch! But before you could even get close an explosion was sent your way, forcing you to hop backwards to avoid it, stopping you from getting too close.

Bakugou, you bastard!

"Fuck off, pipsqueak. I can handle this on my own," he growled out, eyes ahead but you could tell was directed to you.

Aiming a blast at the ice wielder, Bakugou risked a glance at you. "I mean it, Sunny- FUCK!" he got cut off as the other villain caught him in her wave motion, slamming him into a wall & pining him there.

No.

No no no-

Human. You needed to turn back human.

Now.

C'mon. C'mon c'mon c'mon please.

You wanted to. You needed to. Please. Please.

Please.

You gasped at the sudden shock that rushed through your body. Your sight glowed pure white, before everything stopped.

You dropped to the ground like a ragdoll.

You couldn't move.

You couldn't move. You couldn't open your eyes. It felt like all the energy was zapped from your body. Your heart seemed to beat in your ears. Once. Twice. Faint yelling seemed to seep into the black. You recognized that voice.

"-nny! Wh s wro ith ou-"

The cotton in your head made it hard to hear. But you knew that voice. You were sure of it.

"SUNNY!!"

Bakugou. Its Bakugou, right? He gave you that name?

That's right. You need to help him.

But you couldn't move.

Move, dammit.

You mustered everything to will yourself to get up, to fucking move, but your body didn't listen to you. Even a finger felt too heavy.

"HURRY THE FUCK UP, SHITTY HAIR!"

Bakugou is calling for help? Bakugou? Fuck, things must've gotten bad.

C'mon get up.

You needed to get up. You needed to help him.

"FUCK-"

You heard Bakugou's voice cut off as if he had the air knocked out of him.

You haven't thanked him yet.

He had to be okay.

You still owe him that hug you vowed to give him.

He HAD to be okay.

You felt your heart clench at every pained groan the villains beat out of your roomate. Your throat tightened up with guilt.

COME ON GET UP!

You'd cry if your body worked right now. Unshed tears burned the back of your eyes. You were begging at this point.

PLEASE.

Then, everything came rushing back.

Your eyes snapped back open, before immediately fluttering shut from the bright contrast. Pulling yourself up, you groaned as you reached a hand up to your pounding head. Wait. Hand. Hand!

A rush of victory tore through you, making you force your eyes back open to confirm your suspicions- only to have your heart drop immediately.

Fuck. Thats right. You changed back naked.

A/n: thank youuuu for being so patient with me. i know i take a WHILE to cough out fics but i'm doing my best i promise 🥺. i hope you enjoyed this part. hope the 'action' portion isn't too scuffed. AND I HOPE THE NEXT AND LAST (I SWEAR IT WILL BE THE LAST) CHAPTER WON'T TAKE AS LONG.

🌟

Part Five

Series taglist: @deadpoolsvodka @zbeez-outlet @fixed211 @arael-asuka @sadcookie365 @phrogfungi @trash-heichou-kacchan @sad0ni0n @woodzonesworld @mushi42 @yappydoo @kazxtora @nnubee @chuugarettes @voidsatoru @freakyundercover @momdisappointment @simp4rengoku @yaskna @zane2408 @lynn-writes-things @dinodumbass @jihyuniepark @julietdelamare @captainchrisstan @atrainb @wannabewolf @cupidcole @atsushiki @trashbin-nie @mothmanuwu @skyesayshi @nezykoi @theredtater06 @lanaxians-2 @alextheknight707 @vollkornpraline @misakik28 @carnationhcs @some-ryvant @blubearxy @dangerousluv1 @seokjin-bby @slytherclaw1227 @tjmaxx556 @kuleo26 @answer-the-sirens @stxrrielle @call-me-drartemis @ouch-thats-harsh @coodoritoss @thychuvaluswife @dynakats @naneko-nakooooo @letharue @sleepylittlebarista @moonbinnie0983 @ninashellhole @lovra974

[billthedrake]

DAD'S HABIT

It had become a birthday tradition. Ever since my parents' divorce, Dad would treat me each year to a guys' night in the city. I was a hockey player, and my father the textbook hockey dad, and we were both big Rangers fans. So every year, Dad would drive me to New York, where we'd spend two nights and catch a home game.

I think Dad thought I'd outgrow it as I got closer to graduation, but I enjoyed the father-son bonding time as much as he did. My father is a brash, blue-collar kind of guy. Very heart on his sleeve, but also not good at talking about emotional stuff. The divorce made him even more closed off, but I knew he always looked forward to his custody weekends with me. Even at the pissiest, moodiest points of my teenage years, I got it.

I could tell Dad was surprised after I went off to college - on a hockey scholarship at a New England college - when I asked if we were still doing my birthday trip.

"You bet, buddy," he beamed with barely contained excitement in his voice. "Though I guess we'll need to wait till your season's over."

So that's what we did. A few days later he got back to me wondering if I'd want to catch an away series in Boston later that spring. That's how a new tradition got started, going to different cities each April.... Chicago, Montreal, and now that I'm 22 this year the trip is in DC.

The first night, Dad and I found a sports bar, where we watched a couple of games, but mostly caught up. About school, life, and just boring stuff. Dad seemed to be in a good mood, chattier than normal, and just happier with life. His contracting work was going well, and he promised that he'd take me out for a nice steak dinner the next night.

I asked him if he was dating any one, but he just cocked a grin and shook his head. "Nothing serious," he said with an uncharacteristic blush. "I mean, your old man gets out there for a little fun now and then, but I don't know if I'm ready to date."

"Dad!" I objected with a laugh. The man had given me the birds and bees talk and had checked in with me a couple of times. I'd admitted to him that I'd become sexually active, though I made up more experience with women than I really had. But we weren't the kind of family who talked much about sex.

"Goddamnit, Joey," he chuckled. "You're not a kid any more. I figure you know the score."

"Yeah, I guess," I said, pressing my leg against my father's next to the bar. "Guess you don't get used to the idea of your parents having a life."

"Could probably use a little more of one, to be honest," Dad chimed. God, he was really opening up this evening. "What about you, son? I thought you'd be going steady with someone by now."

"Nah," I hemmed and hawed, trying to hide my embarrassment. I'd gotten real good at bullshitting with my buddies and my teammates but for some reason had a harder time lying to Dad.

My father's hand clasped on my shoulder. "s' OK, I'm not gonna pester you like your mother does," he said. "I guess I wouldn't be a good Dad if I didn't want to know what's going on in your life."

Looking into his gruffly handsome face and his puppy dog brown eyes, I was THIS close to telling him. About the gay thing, about my doubts, about how I wanted to tell everyone but was too fucking scared. How I seemed to be putting my life off until after college.

Instead I gave a silent nod of acknowledgment and turned my head back up to the big TV screen behind the bar. Dad followed suit.

***

We were three beers in when Dad said the day was catching up with him. "It's early though, you should stay out," he urged. "Have some fun."

I almost said no, but it was barely 9 o'clock, and a part of me wanted to take advantage of some independent time. I told Dad I'd maybe stay out for a while longer.

"You got the spare room key, right?"

I told him I did. "I won't be out long," I said.

"I hope you are," he chuckled. "Seriously, enjoy yourself, Joey," he said as he got up from his bar stool. I try to not to perv on my old man but seeing him in his casual jeans and sweatshirt, it was hard not to admire his sturdy body. I mean, Dad's got a beer belly but otherwise is pretty damn solid. I felt his strength as he gave my shoulder one last squeeze before bidding me good night.

I gave it maybe five minutes after he left, then I downed my drink and found my way to the Metro to Dupont Circle. I'd only been to a gay bar twice before, and each time was nerve wracking as hell. But something about being in a different city made me feel anonymous. I felt giddy and excited as I walked the blocks to some bar I found on Google.

Maybe I picked the wrong place, or maybe it was too early, but the bar was dead. I may have been anonymous, but I stuck out in the place, the only dude under 40 in a place of older man. That would have been fine. I mean, I kind of get turned on by men in their late 30s, or 40s and 50s. But a couple of obnoxious guys made a beeline for me in turn, as soon as I got my beer. I tried to do the thanks but no thanks, thing but they wouldn't fucking let up. It brought out my whole anxiety about being in the place to begin with. I didn't even finish my beer, I just bolted out of there.

The whole way back to the hotel, I was frustrated and maybe a little mad at myself. I maybe should have tried another bar, but at this point I wasn't in the mood.

I tried to be quiet when I got back to the hotel room. There was the click of the key card, but other than that I slipped into the room silently, so I wouldn't wake Dad. It took me a second to realize that the light was on, and that Dad was hardly asleep. I was a few steps in the room, far enough to see half of the beds, when I realized what the fuck was happening.

"You like that cock, Daddy?" the voice was youthful and masculine, and it seemed to match the very attractive athletic younger guy who was boning my father doggy style.

My beefy bodied old man was bracing himself on all fours and actually bucking his meaty ass back against every hard thrust. If I wasn't hard yet, that sight alone made my cock feel more rigid than I'd ever felt.

"You know it, buddy," my father growled in that deep, loud voice of his. "Pound my fucking hole." God, Dad was being really loud and his sex talk seemed to echo off the walls. I hoped to God there was soundproofing, then realized I hadn't heard anything before stepping into the room.

The young dude just gripped Dad's waist and used the leverage to pull my father's body back and forth onto his shaft. "You wanna do the scene we talked about, man?" the guys asked, quiet in his voice now.

Dad nodded and blushed beet red. "Yeah, let's go for it."

The top's chest seemed to puff proudly. I couldn't believe they'd not noticed me. Hell, I couldn't believe I had the balls or the stupidity to just stand there and watch them. But they were so caught up in their mating. The man's hips now slowed to a slow sexy grind and he leaned forward and kissed along Dad's thick shoulder and neck. "I've wanted to do this for so long, Dad," he growled. "After every hockey practice."

"Oh god, yeah, Joey!" my father hissed, not as loud this time.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!

My heart pounded and my dick throbbed, but my mind was in a major head-fuck place now. I was actually hyperventilating, and the voyeurism had gone from a sexual turnon to a sense of invading Dad's privacy, or seeing something I shouldn't have seen. I backed out as quietly as I entered, and let the door open and shut as silently as I could.

"Fuck!" I hissed to myself as I stood in the hallway, feeling my heart race. I tried to gather my thoughts to something that would get my dick to go down. It half worked, but not fully. I thought of going somewhere else for a while, even the hotel lobby. But I had to know. Know who'd been fucking Dad. Probably not a boyfriend, cause Dad never came to DC. Maybe some dude from Grindr, I don't know.

It took ten minutes, maybe a little more. I waited down the hall, by the elevator bank, and when I heard the click of the door, I peered out. The first one was a different room, but the second, a minute later, was from ours. I pretended like I was I just coming from the elevators and walked slowly down the hall. The dude was busy with his phone as he walked, texting or something so I could get a good look at him. I'd seen his body in profile, but now that I saw him head on, wearing joggers and a zip up pullover, I could make out that he was almost a dead ringer for me! Blue eyes to my brown, and higher cheekbones, but otherwise there was so much similar. Same height, same athletic build, same dark brown hair, same jockish demeanor.

"Hey," he grunted in acknowledgement as we passed. Bro to bro.

"Hey," I said, nervously, trying to pass it off as a normal exchange. He kept on his way, and I paused at the room door, wondering if he'd look back. He never did.

I wasn't quiet this time. I wanted to give Dad time notice. I shut the door loudly and called out, "Hey Dad."

"Hey, buddy," he called out. He was lying back in bed, watching some sports news on the TV with the volume turned down. Wearing only a thin pair of gym shorts, his body was relaxed and I got a good chance to admire his muscle. Big bulging arms, rounded shoulders, and full hard pecs. Dad's surprisingly smooth for a guy his age, but there was a dusting of hair on his chest and torso... finer and lighter colored than my own body hair. Below his pecs there was some extra weight... more than middle aged spread, I guess, though his beer belly was shy of a full gut. On Dad it looked hot. The thin fabric didn't leave too much to the imagination, but my father's genitals were soft so didn't form too much of a package. And in some ways those thighs stole the show, with a rounded curve and palpable meatiness. They were hairier than his upper body but not outright furry.

I couldn't believe this man, my father, had just taken dick like a porn star.

I snapped out of my perving reverie and rifled though my bag for my own pair of shorts. No way was I sleeping in just underwear tonight. I even pulled out some compression to layer underneath, to keep any boner in check.

I ducked into the bathroom to piss, change, brush my teeth, and just collect myself. When I got out, bare chested as Dad, he was still on the other bed, absorbed in whatever boring sports talk program was on. I couldn't believe how nonchalant he was being. Then again, maybe getting laid puts you in that kind of mood.

I settled onto the other double bed and pretended to be interested in the TV. I'd sneak glanced over at my father, to get a look at his half naked body but also to imagine that forbidden spot between his legs, deep in his ass. No way did he have the chance to shower off after sex, and I just knew that cleft and hole were still wet with lube.... and if the guy didn't put on a condom, then cum as well.

I had to lift my leg and surreptitiously reach down to pinch the base of my cock to tame the hardon. Compression would only do so much.

"Have fun tonight?" Dad finally asked. "I thought you'd be out longer."

The messed up thing was that I felt guilty for coming back too early, of not giving my father enough time to hook up with a dude. "It was all right," I said. "Just wasn't feeling it."

He looked over at me, his brown eyes filled with normal fatherly concern. "Yeah, buddy? I figured a good looking dude like you would be able to score a hot girl for the night."

"Dad!" I objected.

"What?" he asked. As if his concern were just a normal dad's male bonding with his son. In another instance it might be, but I knew now that Dad got off on the idea of me fucking. That's why he was always asking me about girls.

I had every intention of playing dumb. Of just filing this evening back into my memory bank for stroke sessions. Because this was potentially explosive stuff.

Instead I picked up that stick of emotional TNT. "I, um, saw you guys... just now... earlier," I eked out through a shaky voice.

Dad's relaxed, happy go lucky face turned dead serious. "Oh," he said. "I thought I head the door click." He looked at me and I just knew what he was thinking. He was trying to figure out just how much I'd seen. "Sorry you had to see that Joey."

"Guess I should have picked up the hint you wanted some alone time," I said. Trying to pass it off like Dad was my dorm roommate needing to get laid. I even forced a chuckle to make light of the weirdness.

Dad turned off the TV and turned toward me. God, I wished he wasn't looking so hot just then. Chest and arm muscle bulging as his body pivoted toward me. "I'm serious, Joe... I didn't mean.... Damnit... I guess you know now... your old man likes to have a little fun now and then."

It was none of my business, but curiosity won out. "He wasn't your boyfriend or anything, was he?" I mean, it didn't seem likely but I had to know if I was getting a step dad my age.

He shook his head. "Nothing like that, son," he said, pausing before adding, "It's just, well, sometimes I splurge on a hustler."

It was a weird first reaction, but I was a little mad that Dad paid that dude when any number of men would be lucky to fuck him. But as the memory of that primal scene flashed in my head, I was getting rock hard again. "Dad, I'm pretty sure you don't need to pay anyone."

Dad's eyes were on me intently now. Deciding how to take my comment. "Sometimes I want someone who's not gonna pass judgment," he said quietly. Damn he was making himself vulnerable now, for sure.

I was too. Meeting his gaze, I said, less quietly now, "I'm not gonna pass judgment, Dad."

"No?" he asked. I could hear his voice catch in his throat.

"Nope. And I hope you don't pass judgment on me," I replied.

"What would I...?" Dad started to ask before he let out a surprised, "oh!"

I'd pulled my legs out and was revealing my hardon to dad. Even beneath the shorts and through the compression, my ridge of college-jock cock was visible. My heart raced nervously but I also sat up proudly in bed and spread my legs further to show my dick off to my father.

"Fuck, you're big, Joey," he gapsed, without thinking before he took his eyes off my crotch and looked back up at me. "How long?"

"I dunno, Dad," I said. "Maybe 7 and a half inches. Almost eight."

"Shit," he grunted. Then shook his head. "But I meant how long have you had a thing for me?"

"Honest, Dad?" I replied. "I don't know. Maybe longer than I realized."

He nodded, taking in the information.

I looked over at my father and could see his dick firming up to a spike again in those shorts. "How long have you had a thing for me, Dad?"

"Maybe longer than I realized, too," he shot back, now sitting up on the bed, facing me. "I swear Joey, I tried not to go there, but you grew into such a hot fucking stud."

I'd had sex with men a couple of times before, and I'd enjoyed the naughty thrill of it. But this just seemed to click, the mutual sexual attraction. The fact Dad was as boned for me as I was for him made me wish we weren't father and son.

Then again, that was the thrill of it, too.

With a playful grin, I hooked my thumbs in my shorts and pulled them up over my boner. Dad was silent and his attention fixated watching this simple, taboo act. I slid off the shorts and the compression and let my long, thick cock ride up. It was fully engorged and stood up from my treasure trail at a rigid angle.

Dad gulped again and looked up at me. "We doing this, son?"

"Yeah, Dad," I hissed, scooting off the bed and standing up. Horniness winning out over my nerves. "We're fucking doing this."

I heard a low rumble as my butch father scooted over and with one hand on my leg to guide me, he took me into his mouth.

"Holy fuck!" I gasped. At first it was just the sheer forbidden fact that my own father was licking and now sucking my bone. But quickly I was going wild at realizing how frickin' good Dad was at this. Not going for the kill, he gave slow, sensual head that seemed to be worshipful and did the trick of working me up to a boil without sending me over the edge.

I'd had guys suck my dick a couple of times, but I'd never fully gotten a blowjob, not for real. Dad was giving me my first.

"Dad," I hissed, spreading my legs to brace my body and running my fingers softly through his light-brown hair to encourage him. I rode out the incredible incestuous pleasure, then had to put on the breaks. "Dad..." I urged, using my fingers to nudge his skull back off me. "I don't wanna cum yet."

My father let out a soft, deep growl as my wet thick prick cleared his lips. And just as quickly as he'd taken me into his mouth, his face dove down to start tonguing and kissing my balls.

"You've turned into such a stud, all right," I heard him say between kisses. "Big fucking balls, too."

I'd had two hookups with older men. Men Dad's age. One was fun, the other I felt a little skeeved out by the man's lecherous fixation on my youth. But with Dad, I responded instantly to his worshipful lust for me. Something about it brought out both my loving and aggressive side. Holding the back of his head, I pulled him roughly into my crotch, then relaxed my grip and patted his head affectionately. Dad seemed to love that.

"I wanna fuck you, Dad," I let out. As I said the words, I knew they were a messed up thing to think, much less say. I was so horny, though, and after seeing Dad practically slut out earlier, my dick was doing the thinking for me.

Dad pulled back, spit on his lips and excitement in his brown eyes. "Yeah, Joey?"

If I didn't know before, I had a pretty good confirmation that Dad had thought a LOT about that very idea. His hand stroked my spit-wet prick, as if he was sizing up how much he'd feel my size.

A nagging doubt hit me. Not incest, but my inexperience. "I might not have the moves that hustler did, but I wanna bone you, Dad."

Dad leaned back, his burly body on display for me, with its hard blue-collar muscle and that extra bulk. He was beautiful and my cock twitched seeing his masculine build offered before me. "How you want me? On all fours?"

I stepped back for a better view, shaking my head. "Face to face," I growled, feeling my cock twitch. I'd had my experiences with men and a hell of a lot of self time with porn. This was better than both combined. "I wanna make out with my dad while I fuck him."

"Joey," Dad grunted, scrambling up to lie back on the bed. I was following him, already greedily tugging at the waist band of his shorts. The elastic snagged on his erection, but he helped me work it over and off his thighs, before I pulled the shorts off and tossed them aside. "This is SO fucking wrong, son," he hissed, and I knew we were on the same wavelength. Riding that taboo.

"Fuck yeah, it's wrong," I growled, the words almost catching in my throat I was so turned on. "A son shouldn't wanna fuck his father."

Dad honest to god whimpered at that. Or maybe it was the feel of my hardon nudging along his thigh as I leaned down and claimed a kiss.

This itself was a line crossed, more than the cocksucking, more than the sex talk. I was French kissing my own father and he was sucking my tongue into his mouth before battling it with his own. We grunted into our kiss, humping our heated bodies and feeling that incredible flesh-on-flesh contact.

This desire had been bottled up so deep inside me, but this evening had brought it out so quickly, I knew it was always there. Knew my father had been deep in my psyche as I masturbated all these years. Knew he was an implicit comparison for any man I went for.

I'd have to ask Dad where I fit into his fantasies, or if there were other men, young men, in his life. All I knew now was how hungrily he held me and felt up my hockey-jock body and spread his legs, inviting me in, then wrapping those feet around to guide me to enter him.

I wasn't hustler-skilled, so I had to reach down and guide my rigid cock to root around for his entrance. But that escort had left a good amount of lube there, and as I nudged my father's recently-fucked pucker, I could tell there was a good deal of cum, too. The idea excited me and made me jealous at the same time. That fucker should have been paying Dad for the privilege...

I thrust inside my old man. Between the suddenness and my size, it was a LOT for Dad to take. Turns out the man liked it that way. He growled into our kiss and used his heels against my strong ass to urge me on.

I didn't need my invitation engraved. I let my body and my hormonal need take over. I fucked Dad, maybe just shy of rough, but definitely hard. And the faster and deeper I went the more the big man's body responded beneath me.

"Fuck me, Joe," he grunted as I broke the kiss and leaned up to get a good look at the man I was shafting, the man who made me.

"You love your son's cock in you?" I prodded.

"Fuck yeah," Dad replied. "Hot fucking incest."

That alone about got me to cum. My hips were a blur of motion and I was THIS close to orgasm.

"Open your mouth, Dad," I urged. I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I think I'd seen it a porn video and something about Dad's need made me wanna try it.

My father opened his mouth and I did it. I spit right into it, hitting the back of his throat like a bullseye target.

Dad actually fucking whimpered once I did.

I hawked some more spit and let it fly once more. And that did it, I was cumming HARD. Harder than I ever had in my life. My hips were now longer thrusting madly but giving a couple of deep jerks into my dad's guts to add my seed to that hustler's.

Dad was rock hard against my abs as we made out and held each other. Holding on to each other and not wanting this father-son fuck to end.

After a couple of minutes I realized I didn't have to end. Dad hadn't gotten off, and I was still rock hard. I could probably go for another... yeah, I could definitely go for another. My hips began a soft, shallow thrust, enough for Dad to feel it inside him.

"You going for another, Joey?" he asked, surprised and excited.

I nodded, smiling down on my father. His hair was matted down with sweat and he had a vulnerable edge to his handsome looks. I felt a strange sexual domination over my old man, but a hell a lot of love, too. It was all in the mix.

"You ever been fucked all night, Dad?" I asked, putting on my deepest, sternest voice I could manage. Yeah, maybe it was a boast, but at that point I felt I had it in me. In any case, I wanted to try.

"God, Joe," Dad hissed. His hands openly massaged my arm muscle, not as big and round as his guns but still with that athletic harness from sports and working out regularly.

I grinned, feeling playful as hell. "Is that a 'God, Joe,' I can't handle that? Or a 'God, Joe, please fuck me all night, Joe'?" I teased.

I felt Dad's heels on my ass cheeks again. "God, Joe, please fuck me all night, Joe.... son."

"You got it... Dad."

[nerdragenewvegas]

Thinking a lot today about how despite my insane thirst for Joshua Graham, looking at him logically for 35 seconds made me realise that my years in the Mormon church were effectively years in a cult and how projection seems to change how people experience Honest Hearts a lot.

Like there's a huge subsect of people who credit the character with reconnecting them with their faith and I mean hey if that's a positive life change for you that gives you grounding, cool. But I really struggle to kind of understand that perspective of in to be honest because the point of the arc (at least to me) is that Joshua was using faith to project his own feelings and traumas and bias in a way that allowed him to somewhat avoid blame or responsibility in the event he learns he's wrong - he even admits this much depending on your ending.

First time around he did this with the Legion taking that place of a "higher power" once he was out on his own and seperated from the accountability that the other New Canaanites gave him, and when we meet him, he's doing the same thing with his Faith. And believe me when I tell you that scapegoating like this is so common in Mormonism that it's actually hard to clock once you've been in for a while, and Joshua is so good at romanticising what he's doing that we spend a lot of the DLC willing to believe him until he's about to actually do a genocide for real and we realise what's happening here.

This happens a lot in Mormonism with things like LGBTQ+ and gender stuff, where nice things like the Plan of Salvation (which can genuinely be quite reassuing and warm in a spiritual sense) are co-opted to justify homophobia and transphobia and misogyny. "I, personally, don't have an issue with trans people at all! But the plan of salvation is so clear about our bodies and how we need to respect gods choices in our design!" - despite the Plan of Salvation saying nothing about gender identity or expression and honestly kind of validating the idea that transitioning etc is also part of gods plan for some people. "I love lots of gay people and so does the church, but the word of God is clear that temple marriage is for men and women only." That kind of thing. "The whitelegs are gods children, too, but the bible is clear about how we handle those who would seek to harm this Zion we've built! I don't enjoy murder, but it's what God wants, it's a chore."

Realising this and then looking at times in my life where I saw this happen in the Mormon Church is what took me from "gently deconstructing and still believing some of it" to "I was brainwashed and in a fucking cult." So i always kind of struggle to see how anyone can get "I should seek God again" from this, but at the same time? I think that's the best part about Honest Hearts and a lot of Fallout NV in general: it forces you to learn not about yourself than anything else in the actual game. It's such a wonderful game when it comes to getting players to self reflect - maybe this is why it's so known for being the "omg I'm trans now" game.

What a special fucking game, huh?

[wooziorgans]

About hoshi: this is such a spat on your face when you realize that women in korea are still fighting tooth and nail for their rights. and yet these men actively choosing to collab happened. And i know hybe has lots of power, but at this point of their career svt must have a lot to say about what they do too, they always worked on their stuff from scratch, are rich af, so don't say that hybe forced them... After today, as a women, with friends from Palestine i unstanned hoshi

if I remember from nana tour,,,, I think seungkwan said something about “svt doesn’t have to work on something if they don’t want to”,,? So I am hoping that this decision was made to collab with djk before anyone was aware of anything,,, and by the time they realized it was too late to pull out of the collab.

because im gonna be totally honest, i have no idea how the kpop industry works from the inside but i know how the American music industry works and pulling out of a collab is a MASSIVE no. with djks history of being super shady towards ppl he’s collaborated with,,,, it’s super risky to pull out Now when the album is so close to release.

I understand that it’s realistically,,, not an option. they could just redo the title track without him, sure, but it’s a very risky move to make. And im sure royalties have already been paid to djk so,,, that’s another very very complicated thing that has to be dealt with.

im just,,, super fucking disappointed in hoshi. there was absolutely no need for him to double down on the collab when (with how chronically online a few members are,,,, some of them have to have seen) carats are so against it. they Must know. but again,,,,, kpop industry level censorship is god awful for any idol to speak up about a situation like this. if they can’t actively speak up about anything (gay rights, Palestine, women’s rights) they’re definitely not allowed to bash someone they collaborate with.

but this was a conscious decision both svt and hybe made so im,,,, idk. i think i sometimes live in a little bubble of ignorance about specific women’s rights issues because ive been living as a man for most of my life. so i don’t really understand the gravity of how bad things are,,, especially in Korea,, but i cannot imagine having a sister and a mother (like hoshi) and doubling down on a collab with someone who actively hates women the way djk does. the more i think about it,,, the more horrific it is.

as much as I would hope for svt to say something,,, anything,,, i know they can’t without god awful repercussions on the group. and they most likely won’t explicitly say anything. but they absolutely do not need to over promote this collab.

the most i expect from them is to say silent on it. that’s really all we can expect because of how things are in the music industry. this would be an industry wide blow to woozis career as a producer if he said anything,,, especially against someone as big as djk,,, whether djk is a good person or not. realistically,,, it would completely sabotage svts chances of collaborating with anyone in the western music industry and it would almost entirely ruin their credibility.

the more i think about this,,, especially as someone who knows how things work in depth in the American music industry,,, the more complicated it gets.

but there is absolutely no excuse for hoshi doubling down on the collab. that’s absolutely horrific.

[nevermore-ocs]

Dravakin with a chubby fem reader maybe pls?

-Lemme start this full out, completely transparent and honest: Dravakin LOVES himself a big, plus-sized and chubby woman.

-He prefers it over anyone thinner, cause pushing it too far like that, to him, can just make a person appear unhealthy and too weak to go on. Having that certain agenda on women nowadays is something that he particularly loathes about the modern world.

-Being bigger will always be beautiful to him, and his love should never be ashamed of that, he'd happily go on for hours onto hours about just how effortlessly capable you are to felling a literal vampiric God-King simply by being.

-Proud and confident but not an asshole about it, Dravakin adores to show you off to the denizens of his domain, walking through the streets of Bludhaven, he holds out a bent arm for you to rest your hand on his bicep and grasp onto him for as long as you wish, always referring to you in the most painfully obvious in love tone he can muster as his wife/his mate whenever addressing you to someone, his, and his alone to have and hold and cherish till eternity itself is extinguished.

-Absolutely being betrothed to a king does result in being lavishly spoiled on a regular basis. However, it is, rather hilariously easy that noticeable portion of his gift giving to you consists of dresses that are, a couple sizes smaller than what you're used to, or if they are the correct size, they also show off more than you're used to as well - an exposed back, a deep v cut over the chest area, sheer sides.

-"You know, Drav, you can just like, ask me to wear smaller stuff if you're gonna keep sneaking stuff in like this, you dork-", "I have absolutely no idea whatsoever what you're talking about, my light-"

-The main reason, although, why he does gestures like that is because you deserve to feel beautiful, and gorgeous, as wondrously breath-taking as he always sees you. The last thing that he ever wants you to do is feel like you have to change yourself to fit the standards of other people who don't matter.

-Are you content with the size that you are? Then he will be your biggest fan in your corner that will be searing the heavens themselves with how much he'll be belting out. Do you want to lose weight? Then by all means, you have a personal coach in the shape of him, but he wants you to do it for you if that's what you wish, not for anyone else, not for your family, and certainly not for him, cause to him you're already perfect.

[enthusedbambi-jjba-au]

monster au fun facts (OOC)

diavolo keeps having to try to prevent doppio from summoning any more demons

Thanks to the monster hunter's guild, italy doesn't really have prominent lycanthrope packs.

I'm sure someone could figure out how to make a drug out of moondust and im sure it's very likely to fucking kill you

ghiaccio is mildly allergic to himself, at least according to melone

squalo can't swim in his land form

tiziano makes accessories out of his own moulted and preened feathers. this is actually a sphinx tradition!

melone never met his father but was raised with constant reminder that whoever he was, he was pretty horrible, and growing up in that 'shadow' made him swear to himself he'd never turn out like his father. this is why melone acts sort of 'fatherly' towards babyface and often avoids actually even touching most women

i dont know if pesci actually knows hes undead assuming we go with idea 2 about him. he does kinda black out every full moon but nobody including himself addresses this. he knows well and good that prosciutto is undead but he assumes he himself is a normal human and that the Necromancy Doses that prosciutto uses for their form upkeep is just a Magic thing he doesn't Understand

Prosciutto literally has no beef with illuso illuso just keeps calling him a fucking bitch for having the nerve to zombify himself when illuso didn't really have a choice in becoming a ghost

illuso appears if you say his name 3 times in a mirror but says he does this by choice.

melone is immediately drawn to the sound of his own name (as in 'melone', not his real name) but conversely implies this is involuntary

my two ideas with cioccolata (hang on give me a few seconds for the rage to pass) and secco were 1. cioccolata is his own frankensteinian creation and experiments with other cryptians, secco is a werewolf and 2. suggested by others, secco is the frankensteinian creation but honest to god he still gives me werewolf vibes.

Ghiaccio always curls up to sleep and everyone who has seen him do this wonders about his spinal health

i cant tell whats the funniest way to go with gelato and sorbet: 1. Gelato is human, Sorbet is nonhuman (perhaps was once human). Gelato is insane and just a monsterfucker because of course he is. 2. sorbet is a human, gelato is a fucked up monster thing. unfortunately, sorbet is into that. 3. werewolf vampire romance. 4. gelato is a demon yet his stand is still angeleyes and sorbet still calls him angelface. 5. gelato is a turned being of some kind and sorbet is the one who turned him and gelato voluntarily let him do this because he thought it was hot

i had a thought that Limbo (my OC) could work at libeccios as like. a waitress and thats why (other than her being with narancia) she's super close with the bucci gang

squalo knows nothing of capitalism and relies completely upon tiziano

babyface glitches when going up against giorno

Fugo might have magical lineage, but it's been surpressed

Pesci knows a lot about the other members of la squadra due to Beach Boy's ability; in the monster au, rather than just hooking hearts and stuff, Beach Boy also just goes right for the soul and hooks the aura. unlike mista pesci knows well and good that hes surrounded by nonhumans but like what do you want him to do about it

animals are pretty much naturally alarmed by Formaggio's presence. ghiaccio tends to fluff up when Formaggio is too close to him.

prosciutto's eyes don't follow movement but he can still see

gelato is afraid of seagulls, chickens and most fowlbirds. this isnt monster au specific i dont know why but i imagine gelato is STUPIDLY fearless but when a seagull comes after his sandwich or a bird starts strutting towards him a little too fast he starts screaming and grabs a knife

regardless of what he is, gelato bites without warning whenever he gets the impulse

Narancia isn't too careful with hiding his formshifting from Mista but as long as he doesn't take a lupine form mista just assumes narancias weird like that

The bucci gang 'have' a 'cat' that's named narancia. it's actually just narancia in a cat form that he takes when he wants to seek physical affection or just be a weirdo, but mista doesn't know that

squalo knows how to write but can't spell or read. so he doesnt actually know how to write he just knows how to copy the letters.

narancia WILL tear up the couch if you leave him alone too long

along with turning blood into metal objects, in monster au, metallica also works the other way, allowing risotto to turn iron into blood. he eats a very iron-heavy diet to get his fix of blood without needing to directly drink it.

i also had the idea that he can drink your blood through your aura

melone and ghiaccio possibly have known each other for a really long time, and assuming ghiaccio is a turned ailuranthrope, melone might have known him before he was Turned and helped console him after the Incident.

bruising is common in physiological shifters like narancia, ghiaccio and limbo. Narancia, unlike the other two, though, is in semi-complete control of the way his cells assemble, so he's able to un-bruise himself, though the spot is usually still a bit sore. since he's been able to formshift most of his life, he's used to it, and doesn't really react beyond his weird 'teething habits.

with limbo and ghiaccio, they're more unfortunate, and often look bruised upon shifting back from theriomorph. most zooanthropes have 'morph hangovers' when a night is particularly bad, but they often learn to cope with it and carry on with their normal lives regardless.

MANY cryptians experience moon hangovers after the full moon.

though many aquabound maricrypt don't have lungs, maricrypt like sirens are able to take in air for the sole function of mimicking human speech.

selkies retain human vocal chords in seal form, and can seaspeak as well, but have a "seal" accent

most seafolk are sleek and pretty (in their water forms, at least) and that's why many seafolk are mistakenly thought to be all-female, because a lot of the males look twinkish or have "breasts" (breast-like organs which serve non-breast-like functions, usually).

limbo and narancia developed a stupid ass greeting of barking at each other in human form. they blame this on the adhd. they also blame the fact that the barks are REALLY convincing on the adhd.

honestly soft machine arc is just fucking disrespectful

squalo used to sleep with his eyes open until tiziano got too freaked out by it

[deusexlachina]

Cheesage Exocolonist Age 11: Ruin Valentine's Day as soon as it is invented by blorboing so hard that it becomes existentially horrifying

In which Sol tells Tangent about her other lives for free candy and uses fashion to save people's lives before they are in danger.

Age 11 is kicked off by Marz inventing Valentine's day for free candy - you have to pick your Best Friend. Normally, I would do something sensible, like weigh all the different options to see how to maximize Friendship points and choose the Best Friend most optimal for my run. Unfortunately, Tangent is my blorbo and my shameless favouritism cannot be suppressed.

This is the first time I've picked Tangent after completing a run, so I only just now discovered this rather unsettling wormhole dialogue: when she asks for a reason you should be friends (Tangent being one of the harder characters to befriend, you do need a reason!), Sol can tell Tangent about the timeline where they were married.

Obviously this ruins your friendship completely, and...wait, she thinks it's cool? She gives friendship points?

"Grow old together" is a bit of a stretch - in the timeline Sol is referring to, my first playthrough, the marriage dissolved quickly because Tangent can never keep a relationship going with anyone, and also because Tangent lost her brother, had a supervillain phase and burnt out in like her twenties. (God forbid trans women do anything). Canonically, future memories aren't 100% reliable, but this still feels like burying the lede.

Despite this being one of the weirdest dialogues in the game, which is a very high bar, this is one of very few options where you can be completely honest about your other lives without being diagnosed as Delusional. (The twins are both very open-minded).

I really like the wormhole dialogues, because they start out awesome but the more of them you pick, the more you realize just how horrifying this whole situation is. This poor kid just trying to deal with having numerous other lives and no idea what to do with them with PTSD from stuff that hasn't even happened yet. They just get more and more detached from the world around them the more they loop. And they keep looping forever.

Marzipan gives me -2 Friendship for picking Tangent instead of her. But I like to think the penalty is really for ruining Valentine's Day by being 11 and reminiscing about married life/the only life Sol ever lived organically. I mean, she doesn't mention that. But would you? Really, this was a suboptimal choice, but I want to share some neat Easter eggs along the way.

Most of the year proceeds as usual, by which I mean neglecting my studies in favour of deckbuilding. I get Marz's friendship high enough for her to give me her jacket. Unfortunately, because she's my coworker, she knows how much money I have and, seeing I have more than 50 kudos in the bank, she will instead sell me the jacket. I take the L; it's fair for ruining Valentine's Day.

Besides that, the jacket is crucial. Tammy's dad Tonin is living on borrowed time - late this year, he will be killed in a manticore attack. I could go out and save him just in the nick of time. But that would be traumatic for him and poor Tammy. More importantly, it would give me more cards [bad]. Another route is persuading him to stay home, but, having neglected my education, my persuasion is at 0. Fortunately, I have Marz's jacket, which makes me cool enough to persuade him to babysit instead. Tonin joins his daughter in being saved without any idea of the danger they were in.

A couple months later, I save Hal. This is the first time I've saved someone and gotten recognition for it. This is a sign that these mortals will eventually bow to me as their ruler.

[lxve-and-lxght]

funny honey

pairing: thomas shelby/ reader

warnings: afab! reader, jazz, booze, murder, all that fun stuff. eventual smut perhaps?? slow burn?? mean! tommy.

a/n: hyperfixating on chicago and peaky blinders at the same time. also this is not proofread so i'm sorry for any mistakes.

pt. 1

the long night that followed your arrest at the garrison, could ONLY be described as tedious. inspector campbell was nothing but a ruffian with a badge. no better than tommy, but unlike tommy, inspector campbell really did have no fucking manners. you were a heathen whore in his eyes despite the fact you were a married, working, woman. wasn't that enough? of course it wasn't.

you'd spent the night being interrogated by campbell.

"i've already told you, i don't know," you said to the inspector and sergeant moss, a man who'd been on the peaky blinders payroll for quite some time now if you were remembering his face correctly. "i must've blacked out, i don't remember a thing."

"so you don't remember taking a bloody gun into the garrison tonight?" sergeant moss asked, an eyebrow quirked at you.

"i have no idea what you're talking about..." you were stonewalling them. what did it matter if your sister and bastard husband were dead? it's not like they had money or power, just a poor couple of suckers who'd gotten the kinder end of the deal in your opinion, truthfully you would have much rather been dead than stuck here listening to these fucks debate your innocence and whether or not you were as good in a bed as you were on stage.

after enough time had passed and campbell could say he at least tried to pull a confession out of you it was the wee hours of the morning and you were taken back to a cold, grey holding cell till the bus could take you to a women's jail, apparently only god knew how long that was going to take. so you lied on the hard, uneven, concrete and waited.

did you really have to shoot them? yes. when you found them together in the hotel bed that the money you earned paid for, you saw white. your sister was a dummy for thinking charlie was smart enough to avoid getting caught and charlie was just the same for assuming that of her.

all that time busting your ass, working as many shows as you could, travelling all throughout europe with them. how many times had they done it? how many times had he kissed you after he'd had your own fucking sister in his mouth? stupid son of bitch, you thought. how you ended up with such scum you'd never know.

"l/n! time to go." you sat up from the ground and saw sergeant moss standing with john shelby through the bars. your brow furrowed. moss opened the cell door and gestured you up.

"ya'd better move if you wanna make it to the garrison before tommy leaves." john said. you stood up and walked to him, he had a coat to cover up your show dress. "christ, you're freezing." your dress was covered in whatever dirty muck had been on the floor and your stockings were torn from the brawl that transpired at your arrest. " go on." john nodded.

you walked a couple feet away, peaking over your shoulder to watch moss and john share a sly handshake. john withdrew first and approached you, putting his arm over your shoulder. the two of you didn't speak till you were out of the jailhouse and settled into the motorcar.

"be honest, john, i'm fucked aren't i?" you said quietly, eyes darting to his.

"agh hell, don't ask me, y/n. i'm just the driver." he chuckled, blowing smoke out the window. "but we both know tommy prefers you to that bastard inspector. you make us money."

"great," you sighed, arms crossed in disdain. "now i owe the shelby's a debt."

"that you do, love." john laughed.

when the car finally stopped in front of the garrison john didn't waste anytime pushing you out to the curb.

"he's still in there." john called out as he pulled the car away. you bit down on your tongue in frustration and then stepped inside the pub. it was still so early, it must've only been harry and tommy in there.

you didn't even have to ask after him, the second you were passed the threshold, the private room's door opened and thomas stood waiting for you. he didn't say anything. just nodded his head, telling you to step inside.

"mr. shelby--"

"stop." tommy spoke finally, putting a hand up to silence you. "what'ddya say to him?"

"... nothing." you said, "i blacked out, i don't know what happened." thomas choked on his cigarette when he chuckled.

"and that's what you've told him? that you don't remember?" you nodded. a little blown away that he was laughing in your face about the situation.

"mr. shelby, i can't go back to him," you said firmly, talking about campbell, "he'll string me up or he'll make me a whore. i refuse to do either, so cut him up or cut me."

"ya want me to cut you?" he asked, taking a seat at the table.

"it's not about what i want, it's about what i don't want, and i don't want that pathetic excuse for an officer to have any say in my future."

"well sweetheart, you've managed to create a cluster fuck of problems for me in a matter of a night, i've already lost one of my showgirls because you seem to have a fuckin' temper and now i have to find someone to pin her and your husband's murders on."

"why?" you scoffed. "what good would that do you? or me for that matter? they already think i did it."

"that's cause you did do it." thomas said snidely, taking a sip of whiskey. "and i can't afford to have harry looking for new acts while i'm trying to conquer london. he needs to mind the pub and you need to mind the crowds of men that come here to gawk 'atcha."

you bit down on your tongue again.

"do we have an understanding?" he asked. you sat with it for second, thomas was offering to get you off the hook for damn near free, it was too good to be true.

"i'm not working for free." you countered.

"course you're not, you're working to dig yourself and me out of the hole you've put us in."

"three shows a week." you said. yeah beggars couldn't be choosers, but that didn't mean you had to starve and sleep on the streets especially because if there was one person who could get you the fuck out of this mess, it was thomas shelby. his eyes narrowed at your half-assed attempt to negotiate, like he was at least pretending to think it over.

"five shows a week, you get three hundred and i keep your bonny ass out of the jailhouse." he said finally. you sighed and sat down to shake his hand. tommy put his cigarette out and shook your hand. "you better get ready." he said. you nodded going to leave till he spoke again. "and i'd take a bath, love, you've got a show tonight and not even the soldiers will want to touch you smelling like that."

you scoffed. what a fucker.

[im2tired4usernames]

@oceanlaceagate

Well ok you asked for explaining so I'm so sorry about the rant that's bound to happen I have beef with this woman like many many MANY homeschool co-op mothers I would like to meet her IN THE PIT

uh I guess trigger warning possibly would be like food diets and possibly eating disorders I'm not sure but I would rather be safe then accidentally harm you friend?

my mother was a crunchy homeschool nutter and her entire social group was crazy homeschool mom cultists.They were all obsessed with clean godly eating and losing weight they constantly kept repeating that they needed to treat their bodies like temples and it really wasn't healthy or good for so many reasons.

well one of the women in that group for as long as i can remember (I've know this lady since I was a lil kid) she believes it's impossible for European women to get fat because of *spins the wheel*

She just has some fucked up made up facts about Europe in general like WARNING SHE'S ACTUALLY ON PURPOSE STUPID

like she has for as long as I can remember believed with E V E R Y FIBER in her body (i have argued so much with her she will not budge in her world this is fact) no one once they hit preteens in france eats bread.

France home of the croissant, baguette and many other carbs bready bakery wonders...

Yeah no one there eats bread that is why French women are so thin and healthy they don't eat bread or any kind of sweets! (She and my mom then tried to make me do that for a bit they were always "suggesting" diets on me it sucked in expecting the thm diet and the melted butter+coffee+ apple cider vinegar diet to have fucked up my body somehow)

Apartly in her world no one in Ireland uses any kind of fat when I asked her to explain wtf that meant she said no one in Ireland uses oil or butter which like..

No that makes no sense where did she even come up with that?!I

Once I took a picture of like some fancy imported butter from Ireland at the store to show her and she and the other moms all straight up walked away and would not look at it. They would not talk to me kept actually doin the "talk to the hand" thing and covering their ears and telling me I'm wrong and stupid and to shut up they will not look at the evidence.

This woman is in her late forties to early fifties she has convinced half the homeschool mother cult that no one in France eats bread with no evidence other then she said so!!!!!

They honest to God believe it also!!!!

Recently she was trying to tell me that no one in the UK eats chicken that it's "looked down on as a disgusting poor man's food" she just went on n on on this long crazy rant that made no sense at all but she acted like she was very intelligent and cultured for knowing this.

My best friend and wife is from the UK and frankly i quickly asked them and they were able to point out this lady is just batshit insane.

Like my wife mentioned there's Nandos everywhere in the UK and that serves chicken mainly I have no clue where she's getting her info or ideas.

She got super angry amd defensive and has gone off saying she has two sources "two very reliable very real and very British people who totally aren't made up there her real Facebook friends that told her yup no one in the uk eats chicken only the USA makes fried chicken poor England is missing out on chicken because they're a bunch of snobs who think it's poor people food" so that's what she believes despite a lot of common sense and evidence to prove otherwise but "how dare I question an elder?!'

I really can't explain it like there's no logic or facts in it I myself don't understand it? I have gotten into many fights with this women.

So many fight

so so so many fights

Stupid amounts of fights

not just over this but like over everything under the sun I swear this woman is living a different reality then everyone else.

she just makes stuff up on a fly and then somehow convinces herself and like a dozen other women in they're 40s-50s that everyone in Europe is significantly skinner because they just happen to not eat the food that one lady dislikes...

like I can't really explain more then that this woman has no evidence, refuses to listen to evidence and has the firmest faith in stupidity I've ever seen it's truly kinda terrifying i wish i had her self confidence but also just wow....

I don't think that she's normal I think a lot of American children do actually learn about other countries? I learned about other countries when I was really young my mom would focus on one a month and then I'd have to do a lil presentation at the end of the month in front of my grandad and we'd cook a meal with some traditional foods from there if possible I had a lot of fun learning recipes from all over the world and we'd get a monthly cd with music from all over the world it was so cool! one of my favorite games when I was little with my grandad was he'd spin the globe point at random n then i had to say thw county, the capital, a famous food item from there and one history fact is famous person if I knew one and it was SO MUCH FUN!!!

maybe it's a new homeschool thing or a church thing or maybe this lady is just straight up purposely stupid I'm not sure? I have no fuckin clue this woman is insane I avoid her every chance I can.

[sweetheradevil]

AUGUST COURT REPORTING THOUGHTS

Hiii :3 since court reporting takes up most of my time, I wanted to do a monthly write-up on my thoughts. I have a lot to say and I feel bad for subjecting all my friends to my yammering about it HAHAH

Current Speed: 140-160 WPM

The 2024 summer quarter has been the most challenging by far. This is the longest I've been stuck in a speed level (June-September) and I have had many, many frustrating moments with my typing abilities. I hit a wall for most of July, so I am currently two levels behind where I want to be. Fortunately, it looks like I'm just about to exit my 140s.

Despite my exasperation with my typing, I feel like this wall presented me with an opportunity to slow down and actually engage with the court reporting community as a whole and learn things about this career I wouldn't have considered if I had just continued speeding along.

In my stupor, I began talking to other reporters to learn why they pursued this career, what they struggled with as students, and also how things will start looking once I go out there and start working myself.

But before I get to that, I kind of wanted to talk about a realization I had about court reporting as a whole. I never doubted that this was the career I wanted, but I feel like being a court reporter in the era of misinformation takes on an entirely different meaning. With the rampant use of AI by people on the internet, peddling of malicious/false ideas, and the intake of large bodies of information, there's a distinct charm about being able to take down something verbatim. This is by no means me condoning the justice system (because as we all know, there are so many issues with it); however, I am glad that I'm a court reporter because should I come across injustices in court, I am taking that down on paper. I am preserving the history of the courtroom and in a time of rampant misinformation and downright manipulation of information, that is so important to me. I plan to work as an official in a courthouse (because to be so honest being my own boss sounds like hell on Earth) so I'll be present for so much stuff that happens.

The internet was once an endless source of knowledge, but now its function has been severely limited by incorrect information, censorship, and paywalls. I used to be in awe at the vast amounts of knowledge I had in the palm of my hand, only for it to be rendered insufficient by all of this bullshit that's out there. It almost feels integral to my values that I will be sitting and preserving a vital part of history in the justice system. Perhaps my efforts will be useful for someone who needs to look back on the record for evidence of various misdeeds, because god knows we need it.

Having to go through court reporting school is hellish, but because I believe it's for a good cause, it's worth it. It also pays handsomely, which I'm very happy about due to financial strife my family has in my adolescence, but that's a topic for another day.

That is one of my biggest inspirations for trekking through school. Another is the fact that this almost feels like a refuge from the horrible job market most people are at the whim of right now. Most reporters chose court reporting as a second career after they were made miserable by their previous jobs. Most of the court reporters I've spoken to are single mothers who had a better opportunity at life after pursuing this career. I'm on the young side for going through court reporting school (most of my schoolmates are middle-aged) but I'm glad to see that there are opportunities for people beyond university. I'm kind of relieved I'm not in a field dominated by men that will undermine my abilities, but rather with other women I have a lot of solidarity with. I really do love this community and the path I'm on.

I'm so, so excited. I think I am just about to pass out of my 140s, so let's hope I can make it to my 200s by the end of the year. Yippeee!

[utilitycaster]

Sorry to keep the string of im*dna questions in your ask box, but I've been wondering, in your opinion are laura and marisha having their relationship be this... offputting on purpose, and we will get to a point where they develop out of it, or are they trying to write their relationship as cute/romantic (and it's not coming out well)? I always thought it was an unhealthy dynamic on purpose, but after how fast they resolved the gnarlrock fight I wonder when they're going to sort their stuff out, if they're planning on it at all. I know I'm not too good at picking up subtext but the fact most of the fandom seems to think they're just cute girlfriends leaves me very confused on the whole situation, I'd appreciate hearing your perspective.

Hi anon!

I don't know what Marisha and Laura's intent is, but I have to assume they're aware to an extent of how this relationship comes off (ie, incredibly unhealthy). I think anything else diminishes their skill as actors, their intelligence as people, and feels outright incorrect based on what we've seen and heard from them in the past. Their answers during talkback and a few in-game moments across campaigns have led me to believe that in general, the cast in general, and Marisha and Laura in particular, have a good sense of how to portray relationships in a thoughtful, nuanced way. Which, you know, for a group of voice actors, some of whom also direct or write, is a pretty crucial skill! So anyway, I believe that their choices have been intentional.

I can only speculate as to why the fandom thinks they're just cute girlfriends, and will put it under a cut.

Again, speculation, but: people have been shipping this since quite literally the minute the two appeared on screen as characters who knew each other. As for why, I suspect it's one of the following: some are genuinely interested in the potential or the characters and aren't as attuned to how toxic this is. Some would like an F/F ship no matter what and don't care about the characters or how toxic it is (although like...honestly if you're shipping this as horrible toxic codependence, more power to you, it's not my cup of tea, but it's fiction, you're valid, and you're also not saying Cute Girlfriends so this doesn't apply anyway). Some are weirdly obsessed with Marisha and Laura specifically playing lovers despite consistently playing Two Women Who Don't Get Each Other/Can't Be Honest With Each Other across three separate campaigns, which is how we got the "Beauyasha is For Straight People" nonsense.

It's been fascinating to track the bargaining going on in the Cute Girlfriends camp. It went from early campaign "they're girlfriends already!" to "oh they've been in love for a long time" to "they realized they loved each other during the gnarlrock incident" (itself a backtrack from how Imogen sucked for being mad at Laudna) to "I would give anything for them to talk" and then when they did talk, began rapidly backpedaling. The idea of this being anything but explicitly romantic love would have gotten you anon hate a few months ago, but the popularity of it as a QPR has suddenly spiked as of the last episode (which, honestly, is weird, because like, yes, people in a QPR don't necessarily kiss, but also, I would still expect someone in a QPR to tell their queerplatonic partner 'hey it is fucked up that you can't promise me you won't SIDE WITH MY MURDERER'. I mean. I would expect you to be able tell any friend of two years that.)

It's like they're trying to hang on to their first impression in the early episodes - why they cling to such minor characters as Zhudanna or this idea of a static hypothetical dream cottage where nothing happens - but canon keeps diverging more and more, and I wonder what will happen.

Anyway. I guess I leave you with this thought:

Imagine that Ashton had entertained siding with the god-killing cult in conversation with Laudna. Do you think the people who ship Imogen and Laudna would have tolerated that?

Imagine that Imogen had said "I know loneliness you don't" to Laudna. Do you think the people who ship Imogen and Laudna would be mad about it?

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

As promised - here's my final thoughts on The Golden Girls, my way of honouring this show that has kept me such good company in the past few months. Before I begin, I'd like to thank all the people who have liked/reblogged my rants about this series: I've appreciated each and every one of you, and while we might be few, it's been nice knowing I wasn't alone shouting into the void. I hope you had as much fun as I did.

Be advised: this is long and rather messy, but if you're interested, here you go - under the cut!

Let me preface by saying that I knew basically next to nothing about TGG before I started watching, last September. I had seen the couple of very famous posts about it circling around tumblr, which gave me the idea that it was an old but relatively progressive and very good show, and I knew that Betty White, beloved American actress, starred in it - so, in general, I had a favourable disposition, but being both non-American and born in the late 90s I had literally no idea what I might be getting into.

To be honest, I knew I wanted to watch it eventually, but I would have waited even more if not for a certain occurrence - that is, I read the Good Omens book. It is mentioned a couple times in there that Crowley considers TGG one of his favourite sitcoms (there's even a scene in which hell communicates with him via Rose). I was at the time (and still am...) completely obsessed with GO S2, and in need of something to distract myself: I took the bait, expecting it to be a good way to spend some time.

I did not expect to like it this much.

Some stuff you probably already know - it's really very progressive, especially for its time, and it's certainly got an original premise: how many shows do you know in which the main characters are all middle-aged and old women? And, of course, you probably know that it's a funny comedy show. Here's the thing, if you've never watched it: it is way, way funnier than you think. Yes, funnier than that. My God, is this show hilarious. I am, in general, an emotive person when watching stuff, but I've never watched a show that had me laughing so much, so loudly and so consistently during its whole airtime (B99 got close, but nowhere on this level). The writing is (almost always) great, the jokes and gags are delightful, the characters all have amazing chemistry, and the actresses are EXCEPTIONAL. Rue McClanahan, Bea Arthur, Betty White and Estelle Getty deserved all the praise and awards they got for this series, and even more. It's almost miraculous how so much talent - in the cast and crew alike - managed to end up in the right place at the right time like this.

Let's delve into a little more detail, shall we? So - the writing. As I mentioned, the premise is already original in and of itself - a show about four ageing ladies living as roommates in Miami would be groundbreaking even now, let alone in 1985. Not only that: it's a show in which four ageing ladies live as roommates with very full, enjoyable lives, fulfilling hobbies and platonic relationships, romances and sexual relations; it's a show in which four ageing ladies deal with life, death, old age, health problems (especially "feminine" ones: that episode about menopause was scandalous!), family, love, sexuality and a plethora of other subjects, while at the same time embarking on shenanigans and incredible adventures.

I always say that, while the opposite is not always true, great comedy actors are also great dramatic actors, and this is true for the writing as well: the same actresses and writers that make you laugh until you wheeze one second will have you a sobbing mess in the next one. The girls face together a lot of heavy subjects and events (Blanche's relationship with her estranged children, Dorothy's first marriage and divorce, Phil's death, Rose's childhood in the orphanage and the identity of her parents, and so, so much more), which creates the space for some truly moving performances by all actresses. Hell, there's a scene in S7 that lasts less than a couple minutes, in which Rose talks to a dog, that still makes me tearful when I think about it.

Not only that: this show delves into a lot of themes that are still controversial today, and while a few jokes here and there might be outdated by today's standards (although there's much, much less of these than I expected), you can always tell they treated these issues with love, care, and genuine respect for all the people involved. The episode dealing with AIDS has already reached tumblr fame, but just off the top of my head I remember episodes about the life of immigrants, queer identities (both in terms of sexuality and gender identity), artificial insemination, racism, poverty, homelessness, ageism & the treatment of people in nursing homes, assisted suicide (yes, you read that right). Compare this with sitcoms aired years later (I'm looking at you, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and The Big Bang Theory), and then tell me this isn't a Very Special show.

Above all this, though, TGG is a show about four ageing women who become a family - who sometimes fight, sometimes keep secrets from each other, sometimes get involved in absurd circumstances, often bicker, but always, always, always have each other's backs and take care of each other. That's why, while the series finale was touching (once all the circumstances are taken into account: I wouldn't have forgiven such a hurried romance for Dorothy if not for the very strict constraints the writers had to work within), the actual, real finale to me was the next-to-last episode, Home Again, Rose: Part 1&2. Let me explain why.

There's an episode in S4, E22: Sophia's Choice, which deals with the condition of people in nursing homes, and how so many slip through the cracks of the system and live out their old age in horrible situations, alone and without any support. The three younger girls are understandably shaken by this thought: old age is growing closer for all of them - what if they end up slipping through the cracks too? What if they have to live out their days in solitude and abusive conditions? In the end, Rose (met with enthusiasm by her roommates) finds this solution:

I know, girls: let's make a pact that we'll always take care of each other. That we'll never desert each other, no matter what.

and in Home Again, Rose, Dorothy restates this same promise to Rose's daughter, Kirsten:

Honey, we made a pact a few years ago that if anything happened to any one of us, the other three would take care of her. Sort of an extra insurance policy.

She says this after an entire episode where the theme is that of family by blood vs chosen family: an episode in which the girls are barred from seeing Rose, who has to undergo an operation that might leave her dead or unable to take care of herself alone, because they're not her relatives; an episode in which they spend hours upon hours at the hospital anyway, waiting and hoping, and they are ready - they actually suggest the idea - to put themselves in horrible debt to cover Rose's medical expenses, because while they might not be related, they are family. It's just like Blanche states at the end of the very first episode, S1E1 The Engagement:

I was humming. And humming means I'm feeling good. And then I realized, I was feeling good because of you! You made the difference. You're my family, and you make me happy to be alive.

Do you see? They set the scene for how these characters interact in the very first episode, and then spend 7 seasons showing how true it is, up until the very last second. Sure - the girls argue, they bicker, they hurt each other at times, but you never doubt that they love each other deeply (except in the very, very rare occasions when the writing wasn't up to par - and even then, the doubt is very fleeting and quickly resolved). All of them have both blood relatives and romantic relationships (although not all of those are happy), and yet these other bonds are never portrayed as more important or more significant than what they share with each other. This is the very heart of the show, and it's a heart that beats thunderous and warm throughout all seven seasons of it - it's what makes TGG such a beloved, well-remembered sitcom.

(Since this is tumblr, aka the shipping old people site, and since you've all read my comments in the past few months, let me also spend a couple words on the queer romance reading of Blanche/Dorothy/Rose. For my own enjoyment, and because I needed some old woman yuri in my life, I decided in S1E1 that these three were in an open polycule and watched accordingly; can you blame me? They're always touching, they send each other some quite smitten Looks, they have great romantic chemistry, they're committed to each other, and quite a number of scenes are actually explicitly suggestive in that sense, although it's usually as part of a bigger comedic setup. I like to think that maybe, in a different and kinder world, this series would have ended with the three of them staying together as partners - if only for the fact that such a romance would have had incredible comedic potential. In any case, the point stands: these women love each other, whether there's some romance in there or it's all platonic, and that's the beating core of the show.)

Of course, even the best plots won't work if the characters involved fall flat; luckily, all the characters in TGG are spectacular. They're all very distinct, identifiable personalities without ever becoming stereotypes or growing stale; they have incredible chemistry in a comedic setting, but are so well-rounded that they work perfectly in a more somber setting too.

I've already commented in the past on how great a decision it was to keep Sophia a main character of the show, instead of just a recurring one: her special brand of caustic sarcasm is a crucial part of the dynamic between the main girls, and her one-liners are always iconic. Her bond with Dorothy is so sweet and realistic, and the way she gradually becomes Blanche's and Rose's mom too was delightful to watch. Dorothy herself, of course, is my very first love: the character that left the best impression on me in E1, and the one I resonate with the most. Her stares are iconic, her comebacks are legendary, and her regal poise and steadfast delivery make for a uniquely enjoyable kind of humour that I don't think I'll ever find anywhere else. And this is only her comedic side: her sweet and dramatic moments are equally memorable, and make her a favourite in no time. Rose is a testament to both the genius of the writers and Betty White's one-of-a-kind talent: her gimmicks and traits would have left me bored after a while in any other show, but in this one they just make her endearing. Giving her a heart of gold (on the good side) and an incredibly competitive streak (on the bad side) were clever choices, and they combined with her naivety and absurd anecdotes to make a character that is always, always funny, and always, always lovable. And finally, Blanche - oh, Blanche! I didn't expect to like her this much. I'm guessing this is equal parts due to the amazing character writing and to Rue McClanahan's exceptional ability - it might be because she's wonderfully charming in her usual, confident self, and even more compelling in her rare moments of vulnerability. What I can tell you with certainty is this: at some (early) point while watching I realized that I couldn't get enough of her character, and the feeling never went away, up until the very end.

You really can't help but love them all! The way they interact with each other, they grow with and thanks to each other, they support each other - it all makes for such compelling characters and dynamics that it's impossible not to enjoy. Betty White stated once, during an interview, that these four ladies are nice to visit for a half-hour every week, to see what they're doing, and I agree with the sentiment (although much more than 30 minutes a week would be wonderful!): they feel like real people, with real lives, and you just want to know what they're up to this time and how they're going to power and laugh through it. To misquote what Neil Gaiman once said about Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens: you could lock these four in a dark basement for a half hour and you'd have an entertaining show.

There's so much more I'd like to talk about (it's real hyperfixation hour, boys!) - from the amazing work of the costumes department to more character analysis to specific plotlines and themes, I could stay here rambling on for literal hours. However, this post is already long enough - I'll just keep this steam to fuel my creative endeavors.

Just briefly - so, what's next? Technically speaking, there's still The Golden Palace to watch, but I haven't made up my mind about it yet. According to the internet, Bea Arthur left TGG in part because she felt the writing was declining in quality, and I can see why she thought so; although the general level of the show always remained high, I also had my issues with some episodes in S7, and from the few reviews I've read about it it's a decline that's felt in Golden Palace as well. There's also the elephant in the room of Bea Arthur's departure: I think it was once again Betty White who said that Golden Palace felt like a table with a missing leg, without Dorothy there, although I'm sure Don Cheadle and the other actors did their best to compensate for her absence. This being said, I do love Sophia, Blanche and Rose, so I might decide to watch it eventually - although I'll probably opt for something else for a while, now.

If you've gotten this far, thank you so much. Watching this show and sharing my love for it with you all has been a delightful experience, and I'm truly grateful for it. I'll keep interacting with the fandom, of course (I have so many ideas for stories and vignettes!) - and I'll be sure to rewatch an episode here and there anytime I need to wrap myself in laughter and warmth. To you all, to Sophia, to Dorothy, to Rose, to Blanche: Thank you for being a friend!