#i havent worked on a legit one in a while and finished it

[fizzlewizard404]

really hope i can finish this one this time

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hiya sex witch

Hope ur having a good one!

I have a sexual health question. Im 28yo M and am as far as i am aware overall healthy, but sometimes i have trouble orgasming during sex, but rarely during masturbation. Im aware that contrary to popular belief men dont always orgasm 100% of the time and that there is nothing wrong with having difficulty with "keeping it up" so long as its not health related (i dont usually have difficulty with this part specifically, i just feel from experience that some times this is forgotten among people so i wanted to mention that)

I enjoy sex with my partners and im mentally very in the mood for it! Im not really nervous and havent felt pressured with them but some times it takes a very long time for me to finish, like more that 1.5 hours and up to 2 or 3 one time, and understandably my partners dont usually want to go that long lol i also find it frustrating because i feel the need around the 30-40minute mark but like i dont get that final push if that makes sense?

I did online searching and most answers are kinda wishy washy about causes other than excess masturbation, ive cut down on masturbation because alot of places say that that can be a cause but i only masturbated like once or twice a week and now im down to twice a month but it still happens.

Ive also heard that a too tight circumcision can lead to desensitisation and is what im kinda thinking this might be, i was circumcised at birth and have what the forskin restoration website ( www.restoringforeskin.org ) says is a RCI-0 or maybe RCI-1 which are considered super tight or tight respectively, both of which can lead to lack of sensation. And am considering maybe working on restoring my foreskin due to this, but i wanted your opinion on how like legit this all is considering it kinda sounds idk farfetched to me? Like being able to just stretch the skin back out with tape, is that even a thing? And does this sound like a possible cause?

Thanks for all your hard (no joke intended)'work and ur also awsome!

P.S. tumblr is being fucky on my phone all the time so if this is not anonymous please ignore/dm me to say make it anonymous again or whatever tanks

hi anon,

thank you so much for your question! it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it already, and it was very interesting to read.

I have some hesitation in declaring that something is physically the matter with your penis, mainly because you mention that orgasm tends to come at a much more typical speed when you're masturbating. in the case of a physical problem I'd usually expect to see similar results whether you were having sex solo or partnered, which to me suggested it might be more of a mental/emotional blockage here?

but, having said that: I'm not a healthcare provider! and it sounds like a visit with one to discuss your observations might be really beneficial at this point.

while foreskin restoration is a thing, it's also a thing that doesn't have much research backing it up, and long-term results aren't very well known. consulting with a urologist before attempting a restoration sounds like it would be a great idea for you, as they could help confirm whether your foreskin is the problem and advise you on safely practicing restoration if it's an appropriate treatment. or, if that isn't the case, they're likely to have a much better idea about what else might be causing your situation.

best of luck!

[tgcg]

Bestie, davekat connoisseur, the man the myth and a legend.

Any davekat prompts you usually go back to or things you enjoy drawing them with the most? (:B

hi thank u 4 asking about it, ill put it under a cut bc my anser got a bit rambly🙂

hehe, erm, idk if therez much in common w/ the prompts i tend 2 go back to, truth is theres lots of rlly fun prompts ive gotten that i have legit ideas 4 but ive just not got around 2 finishing em. i have. so many thngs lying around atm. u guys give me rly fun ideas but my actual delivery is very hit/miss.

i dont think theres rly any way i could say exactly wat kinda promptz i like to get bc a prompt can be anyfin... some of them overlap better w my persanal interests so i can work wth them way easier. eg i sometimes get ones abt their opinionz on xyz but its stuff i have no interest/knowledge/experience in so i cant rly do those ones. i got asks abt kk's fav album, i have a very stromgly-held answer 4 that & i could describe it in detail, i just havent gotten around to finishing it since i got da ask. bc i'm me. r0flmao

i enjoy putting them in all kinds of scenarios or exploring them both in pretty much any avenue, but as it stands i have so little control over wat my brain will let me actually finish hahah.

i guess i like more non-specific prompts that i can run w/ my imagination on & play with a lot. i got one a while back that was just "haiku" & even though i never posted anything for it (yet) i had so many fun ideas i was playing w/ on it.

thank u for asking me abt it, sory if this isnt a very helpful answer

[clubatsumu]

heyaaa! how are you? i'm the anon who sent you that ask about "first love" aaah i just wanted to say thank you for the author recs!! i recently finished emily henry's "beach read" and i???? havent read a book this fast since i was a teenager??? lol i'm honestly just REELING i was not prepared for how good it was. the romance, banter, and chemistry was *chefs kiss* they literally had me giggling and kicking my feet o(>ω<)o but!! i also appreciate how it dealt with grief and heartbreak and hopelessness and all the feelings associated with them. (def cried at the ending) i get what you mean when you said “books that go inside rather than outside” …idk i loved how well-written january and gus were…just two flawed individuals trying to figure out their own lives while also trying to figure out each other…......yeah

anyway!! do you have a favorite emily henry book? i'm still not over "beach read" but i'm going to try "people we meet on vacation" next, then "book lovers",, going to check out mia vincy's books as well after i finish emily's!! hehe i also heard she’s releasing a new one this year and i think it's exes-to-lovers/second-chance?? now i cant help but think of "first love late spring" lol brb rereading it for the nth time (╥﹏╥)….

aahh i apologize for rambling but i hope the new year's treating you well!! sending u good vibes!!

BEACH READ!!!!! join the emily henry cult with me friend! i would die for her actually. im so happy you liked it!!:) she has that kind of introspection that hits Just Right and also her books have so many references it's such a fun time to spot them all. tell u what, if u loved the first one, you'll love the rest too, most likely. poppy+alex are SO dear to me, (alex actually makes me feral), and rn they hit the closest to my heart. sometimes though, it's january gus. and book lovers had me CRYING i swear. im so excited for you to go read the rest bc there's really nothing like reading her work the first time.

and mia vincy!!!! her books are much more... somber? in a way. and what i recommend when u read her is to space her work out bc sometimes her characters get so tiring bc they're legit Idiots like pls seek Therapy, but she's also on that character-understanding-driven tier.

EH's new book is called happy place duuude i requested an arc and realized my goodreads hasnt been updated in MONTHS so i legit wrote 10 reviews for 10 different books in a span of an hour so i could send in a request. (i was denied) oh well.

come back and tell me what u think when youve finished them bc id love to hear YOUR ranking 🥺 thank u for this, i hope 2023 sees your vibes and treats me better! sending good vibes right back!

[imraespace]

HELLOHIHIHIIRIHI dailt checkin but ‼️i yapped very hard again …‼️

i realize how long its gonna acc take to do my hair bc i have to bleach my hair and then color and then get home and then such and such and i have a poster to make for graphic designer UUGUGGHHH AM I GONAN FINISH THIS TODAY I JOPE I DO BC I HAVE HISTORY HOMEWORK TO DO 💔💔

shes like about to bleach my hair rn and like ugh im lowk so pissed bc idk how well i can actually clutch up on this poster esp bc i know i probably dont wven have a chance ☹️☹️ whatever i guess idk …

TODAYINSHCOOL WE WENT TO… church STOP we walked for like 20 mins to the church and then mass and then 20 mins back to school just in time for second period i wanted to miss a little bit of p2 but its okay bc at least i got my steps in fr

in the middle of second period i just started scrolling on my phone and i found bllk figures AND I WANTED TO PAY FOR IT LIKE IMMEDIATELY SO I WAS TEXTING MY MOM BEING LIKE “MOTHER MOMAY MOMMY MAMA CAN I BUY PLS” AND SHE WAS LIKE ok go buy do u have ur card?? and iwas like .. no..! BUT THERES APPLE PAY!! and when i clicked apple pay it legit switched my currency to damn euros??? HELLO?? it was like 10.55?? in cad and then it was 7.01 in euros and its around the same but it said the euros was = 10.72 cad like hello why did u add more cents.. LIKE OKAY ITS CENTS IT DOESNT MATTER BUT STILL MONEY IS MONEY MY MOM DIDNT JUST WORK FOR 8 HOURS FOR ME TO ADD MORE CENTS TO MY PURCHASE 👿 so i havent bought it yet i was planning to buy it once i got home but i ended up getting distracted and eating cereal it was delicious but i finished up all my milk so i kinda want more

FOR MY COOKING CLASS I MADE COOKIE BATTER 😈😈 i ended ip eating the cookie dough and uh lets just say i hipe i dotn get salmonella with the amount of cookie dough i ate … LIKE I SWEAR I ATE MORE COOKIE DOUGH THAN ANYONE ELSE IN MY CLASS HELP LIKE OOPS I GOT A LIL HUNGRY THERE GUYS..

umumum my old friends made this science club and its kinda run by the guy that i used to like (the one that forced me to confess but ill legit just call him lead while telling stories ab him now so #newsidecharacter!! HELP ME) and like im honestly surprised they made a club but also im just like tf is a science club.. like im a chem person so thats why im like omg science club but also omg science club 🤢🤮 BECAUSE WHAT I THOUGHT CLUBS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE FUN UGGGHHHH whatever im not joining even if during the summer he legit wanted me join so im surprised he hasnt said anything to me but then again im the one who stopped talking to him i cant really expect much and i lowk hope he #stays seven feet away from me #covid #lockdown because i dont want his goofy ahh haircut near me i see him in my fourth period always staring at me …. maybe its a coincidence and hes actually looking at his friend who sits beside me and i swear theyre like #inlove #slowburn #enemiestolovers bc WHY DO THEY GIGGLE AROUND EACH OTHER SM AND THEYRE ALWAYS NEAR EACH OTHER AND U COULD SEE IN THEIR EYES THEYRE LIKE 🤞🤞🤞 YKWIM. but then again thats what everyone said to me about him bc everyone thought he liked me bc of how he looked at me + how he talked to me bc it was “softer” but no he saw me as his best friend who he will get along with for the rest of highschool…!!!!! (he is NOT getting that wish he did me so dirty) like listen i get it i was really close to you and if you just let me confess to you ON MY OWN DECISION then maybe i wouldve still been talking to you and maybe if he also just had more of a personality other than school and his damn guitars like ho no one cares shut up about your damn guitar collection i dont see u caring about my manga and stuffed animal collection..

OHYEAH THAT REMINDS ME LAST YEAR WHILE I WAS HANGING OUT AFTERSCHOOL W HIM CUZ HE WAS WAITING FOR HIS DAD TO COME PICK HIM UP (i stayed afterschool just so he wasnt alone btw i had no reason to be waiting bc my parents cannot pick me up i take THE DAMN BUS) and he randomly blurted out “i dont really like anime…” like bro what do you think i care if you dont??? I REALLT DIDNT UNTIL HE SAID THAT CUZ WHY WOULD YOU RANDOMLY SAY YOU DONT LIKE ANIME LIKE OKAY AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE ????? I STILL THINK ABOUT IT TO THIS DAY BC IT WAS SO RANDOM WE WERE LEGIT TALKING ABOUT ARCTIC MONKEYS AND RELIGION PROJECTS?? like imagine being like “yes so i love arctic monkeys and that one song called-“ “I Hate Anime.” HELP?? LIKE WAS IT WVER THAT DEEP LIKE MAYBE BC I LIKE ANIME A LOT THEN THAYS WHY HE SAID IT LIKE IT WASNA CRIME TO NOT LIKE ANIME but then agajn who am i to judge what someone dislikes

ohyes on the topic of him and how i said id be calling him lead i wanna say the lore of the actual code name HELP i sure damn hope no one from my school/friends know your blog or use tumblr or else theyll probably know who i am but im gonna bet on the fact that they think tumblr is grindr and they dont know anyone here

his code name is (or was??? bc i kinda just refer to his actual name irl) pb which is obv the symbol for lead/plumbum BUT IT TURNED INTO PB BC ID CALL HIM POOKIE BEAR HELP i cant even look at pookie bear the name because of that or pb anymore… like i kinda ruined the element for myself bc plumbum is such a funny name and then i just remember his goofy face ….. LIKE LEGIT WE HAD A LESSON ON SOME RANDOM ELEMENTS AND MY TEACHER WENT ON A WHOLE RANT ABOUT LEAD LIKE HELLO PLEASE STOP I AM HALLUCINATING HIS FACE ATP (okay bachira..) BUT NOW IM SCared for all the future crushes ill get in the future bc what if i end up ruining THE ENIRE PERIODIC TABLE FOR MYSELF LIKE OBVIOUSLY I WONT GET THAT MANY CRUSHES BUT LIKE YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. i mean i already hate chem at this point im fighting my teacher over naming systems and how i legit barely get it because theres so many things to memorize UGH

OKAY DAILT AUESITON TIME BC I JUST YAPPED MY HEART OUT STOP

umumumum which bllk character would have a s/o and make petnames for them but it would be the most cringe code names ever like ummmmm my wittle smoochie smoochie poopoo bear my little pumpkin pie seasoning the toilet to my toilet paper type of thing HELPME

- 🐙

HAII OMGOODNESS THIS IS SO LONG HELPME IM SORRY I DIDNT READ IR YESTERDAY I fell asleep as soon as I got home then spent the night revising for my spanish test which I'm scared for..

SO MUCH YOU HAVE TO DO DANG GIRL DO YOU EVER GET A BREAK? HISTORY?? I hate history

HELP I REMEMBERED WHEN I USED TO GO TO CHURCH IN PRIMARU SCHOOL it was a roman catholic school and the church was literally across the road BUT IN THE CITY THERES ALWAYS LIKE HOMELESS PPL SO EVERYTIME WE CROSSED TO GO OVER TO THE CHURCH THEY ALWAYS STARED AT US now my high school isn't roman catholic it's not even religious.. we do pray tho but not like my old school but I have my rosary in my bag all the time aha!

20 minute walk dang😨 I'm sure jesus is delighted to see yall attend mass HELP

IM GIGGLING they just wanna be extra with the cents!! money grabbers fr...

OMG COOKIES I WANNA MAKE COOKIES I've never before the most I ever made is oreo cheesecake but not the baking kind it was the chilled one

PMAO when I was younger I used to just eat dough idk why.. like when my mommy was making pizza or sada(it's a flat bread I believe its an indian dish but it's common here and it yummy its like a side dish)

omg a science club sounds fun honestly but I don't do science! I say take over the club and become the owner you're better than those side characters

HELP THE HASHTAGS #6ftaway #covidcore ig he stares at you again I'll call my pigeons to pick his eyes out

HELP INLOVE

omg he friend zone you.. I did that once HELP but🤫🤫

HELPME IM GIGFLING he's an oddball fr.. that's like me remaining a random joke that happened 3 weeks ago and start laughing in the middle of a conversation

POOKIE.. BEAR..😨 I saw pb ans thought if peanutbutter help BUT POOKIE BEAR GIRL

HELP bachira core fr...

LMAO THATS WHY I DIDNT GIVE MY CRUSH A CODE NAME my friends just said "mara look your bae!" and I'm LIKE SHADAUP? he's ugly tho idk what I saw I think it was the Christmas spirit that blinded me that year

I LOVE THE YAPPING EVEN THO MY RESPONSES ARE SO SHORT HELP

HELPMEE THE NICKNAMES THE RIGHT THING TO SAY IS SHIDOU I WANNA BE DIFFERENT AND SAY ARYU IDK WHY

[vikab]

I didn't want to clog my post caption longer but I wanted to put additional notes about my process etc

also: [youtube mirror]

So yeah exactly 2 weeks ago, I was on a drive back home from a camping trip and while I was offline I couldnt stream any music, I decided to give some old songs a listen by Ling tosite sigure, my favorite band of all time. It's been a while, I wasn't too fond of their recent releases so I haven't listened to my favorites songs by them for a while.

My favorite LTS tracks btw...

Of course then make up syndrome song came on. I'mperfect album by LTS is how I discovered them (through Psycho Pass OP song Abnormalize) and I love that album a lot, then I started thinking about animating a music video - as one does when listening to something and imagining your favorite characters to the song. Happens often, BUT I usually never act upon it.

I know animation is a lot of work, I didn't study animation at all - I have some random animation experiences but they're not a lot. I know how use Premiere Pro and After Effects, but thats it. I didn't know how to use the Clip Studio Paint animation feature. But I had just recently finished reading ORV... and was obsessed. The themes, the characters, Kim Dokja. I couldn't stop thinking about how good the song is, and how much I wanted to animate some parts of the song (particularly main chorus and some parts towards the end).

I began thinking of a storyboard. Didn't actually end up drawing out, I kept the whole idea in my head (I did write out some text details into my notes but that's it). Next 2 hours in the car I've spent obsessively replaying the song and imagining animation parts. I wanted... a lot of details and animation on that lol. More TV anime style, like an anime opening, looking legit 😅 But as I edited the song into short version (no way I would have finished this if I had done the full song) I opened after effects and started setting up my timeline. I broke it down into 13 segments and realized... oh boy. That's a lot 😅 Maybe I would just stick my own artstyle and do my best.

Through week 1 I began working on scenes I had more clear in my head and knew what specific effects I need. But still a lot of "after effects [effect i was thinking of]" in my google search bar, I havent used AE in quite some time... I downloaded few free plugins and templates but it was mostly a boil effect and chromatic aberration... some AE plugins are so expensive!!

Work week was busy but I utilized my time well. Then by the weekend I went crazy and got sooo many drawings done. They're all quite quick, I tried spending less than an hour on each, but still had to do like 5 redraws on some of them because I was not happy with some cuts. Running animation cycle at the end was most insane work I did because at first I was like "surely this cant be hard" spoiler alert: it was hard. I drew 8 frames for running and realized it was very... slow running effect. So I cut it into 4 frames, reducing my workload since I had to detail the running silhouette into HSY and YJH. yay?

anyway..... this was a lot of work. Week 2 I finally started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I knew my limits, I hibernate A LOT on drawing regular illustrations throughout the year, how am I supposed to animate a whole video. So I knew I had to push myself to finish by end of the week otherwise I will be too tired to ever finish it. I did become a bit frustrated with my work, I had left the most difficult parts for last, and I was worried I am not doing my best work. But I really wanted to finish this, actually finish impulsive desire to make animated music video to media I'm obsessed about. It's hard for me to put into words how well ORV did what it did, so I can only hope to convey my emotions thru my art.

Uhmmm that's it!! Hope you enjoyed. I struggle with confidence about my work so I was very surprised when my KDJ drawings popped off on here. I wasn't even done with the novel but somehow I hit a nail on the head I guess. I dont expect this to pop off at all tbh, im not good fighting the online algorithm. This was a passion project through and through, but I also feel mega cringe about it 🙈 This project ended up being a lot of drawings.. so many assets. My project file was messy, and my laptop was struggling with some effects. So when I rendered video last night for over an hour, I could finally view the video in proper HD definition (my AE viewport is Quarter quality) I noticed bunch of timing mistakes and had to fix it... then set to render the video while I sleep 🙈 thankfully when I woke up in the morning I havent spotted mistakes and decided yipeee im freeeeee!!!

(free me from orv brainrot)

song: make up syndrome - Ling tosite sigure (edited into shorter version)

[sunmoonchanlix]

hi its newbie! as my name suggests im a legit newbie to chanlix and the group and i started watching kingdom last night up til ep 6 because i got sleepy lol but js there something im missing? what gives you the impression that chanlix were already dating during kingdom because i havent seen much to give that away (although i think they are an exclusive couple) i think i’m struggling to piece together a loose timeline because they can be so hot and cold on camera (which really only further proves their more than friendship). is there something specific that happened or was said that makes it seem that they were involved? also do you believe that one rumor that chanlix were caught during kingdom filming by someone being intimate? thanks as always! im still learning

Hello!

Kingdom is hard enough to get clips because I don't know how much they cut out from the original broadcast to put on YouTube. I mostly deduced from the pieces we were given in the YouTube clips that they very much solidified their relationship.

So their dating ban lifted in late March 2021 while still filming Kingdom, so right off the bat I know they'll be together anyway but I did not expect them to be physically separate on-camera for most of the duration of Kingdom. You haven't seen how the rest of 2020 plays out yet like I have while working my videos, but Chanlix was inseparable that year even on-camera so this sudden shift to being distant means that they're scared of being found out by third-party MNET staff with portions of the broadcast being LIVE.

I'm still very far away from reaching that point in making the videos, but I have enough point of references in Chan's Rooms where he watches the Kingdom performances.... and he just absolutely lights up when Felix is on-screen. These will be separate analysis videos in the future.

During the athlete games, when every single performer had to vote and choose who they picked as the best visual out of any group, Chan was the only one from SKZ to vote for Felix. Everyone else voted for other groups or themselves lol.

After getting 2nd overall as a Visual King, Chan helps crown Felix in a very domestic way. When 1st Place Overall Visual Minhyuk from BTOB reveals he voted for Felix and vice versa, Chan looks 😤 for a half second.

When everyone was doing a relay race, during Chan's leg of the run, Felix ran within the grass and followed him all the way through to the finish line like a good boyfriend who roots for you would do. So Felix would've been one the closest members to hug Chan at that point, but for some reason, all the members had ran up to Chan and hugged him before Felix could. And when Felix finally got to Chan and initiated a half-hug, they both look hesitant as if they were scared of hugging too much or too long.

In the Wolfgang Behind-the-Scenes, there's a blink-and-you-miss moment where there is a hand caressing the back of Felix's hand. It definitely did not look like a stylist because Felix was sitting on the couch and that hand belonged to someone sitting next to him at that same couch height level.

And the most interesting thing in that same video is that when SKZ comes back after winning Kingdom, they open the doors and are greeted by their clapping and congratulatory staff. BUT Chanlix are not present. There's a cut indicating a good passage of time had passed when Chanlix finally arrives and greets everyone. There were no cameras from MNET or Stray Kids staff following the members when they went from the end credits stage back to the dressing rooms. So I am deducing that Chanlix took the time and opportunity to celebrate privately.

There's one other critical moment, but I can't find the source clip just yet to remember how to describe it.

My analysis for Kingdom won't be for a long while, but I hope that helps for now! Thanks for the Ask!

[zmayadw]

Hello to all :)

Time for the next part!

Wish you all a wonderful evening! :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 13

We continued enjoying our time, as Aurora got more crowded with people. At some point Cleo showed up, coming to say hi to us, as she was here to meet with Hannah and the others . She had one drink with us before going to sit with them, telling how she is bussy helping her mom at the Gates of Hope with redecorating and other stuff, but she hopes all will be done soon, so we can finaly meet in peace. As it got more crowded with people, Phil was busy and also didnt have much time to have fun with us. Jessy was in a quite good mood, joking and drinking, it was nice seeing her like that.The music playing was good. There was a mixture of everything, from 80's till present day. A song started and Jessy grabbed my hand „Ohhh, lets dance, Maya, i love this song!“ I had no chance to say anything, as Jessy lead me half way to the dance floor already. She started dancing, and i couldnt do anythign but join her. And we had fun. I needed this, i tought, just some simple fun with good friends. Dan joined us from time to time, showing off his killer dancing skills. Phil was passing by us few times, going to one of the booths or tables, always winking at me with that devilish grin of his. One of the times, as Jessy and me wer dancing Phil came from behind me, wraping his free hand arround my waist and squeezing agains me. We just moved with the rhythm of the music for a while, before he groaned at my ear „Arghh, as much as i would love to stay here with you gorgeous, but work is calling.“ I grined at him, as he let go of me slowely „Aww, next time then.“ As much as i liked it, i hoped Jake didnt see this. I wouldnt want him to get the wrong idea about Phil and me. I really wanted to know where i stand with him, but this noncomunication between us wasnt helping. Lily told me to be patient, but as i told Jessy, my patiance is running short. I leaned to Jessy telling her i need to go sit down for a while, and we returned at the bar. Dan and Thomas wer there talking, and both got up from the stools letting us sit as we came. Thomas smiled at us „You two really got it going on tonight.“ He turned to Dan saying teasingly „You better be careful,man, and keep her close to you“ He pointed at Jessy „They wer smoking hot on the floor, dont let someone steel her.“ Jessy grined at Thomas „Let him sweat a little, he might appriciate me more then.“ „Awww, babe, dont be cruel, you know i appriciate you.“ Dan told her, being dramatic as always, making a puppy face. „Ohh, shus it, you big goof, and lets dance.“ She told him, taking him by the hand to the dance floor. Thomas turned to me „So, can i presume all is good between Lily and you now?“ „I guess you can.“ I told him, and he smiled „Thats good to heare.“ A waiter came with two drinks, handing them to Thomas. „Guess then soon we can all get together again, without any drama.“ „Definatly!“ i said, smiling. He smiled back „Good. Well, have fun, Maya, see you arround.“ I waved at the waiter asking for a mineral water, i was really thursty from all the dancing. I checked my phone, it was after 3, and i noticed a missed call sign. I opened the call log, and when i saw it was another of those hidden numbers, my mood darkened all of a sudden. What is going on here, i touhgt, thess calls are starting to get me worried. Jessy and Dan returned from dancing, and i decided i had enough for the night. This thing shook me up good, and i doubted i could enjoy the evening anymore. I told Jessy i'd be going, to wich she protested a bit, but hugged me and said to call her for coffee any time im up for it. I took my things, waving them goodby. As i was near the entrance, i saw Phil, so i waved at him, he winked and made a phone gesture with his hand, suggesting we'll be talking soon.

As i left the Aurora, cool night air washed over me, so i put my jacket on. I got to my car,  just leaning on the side of it, my mind still thinking of those damn calls. They are starting to freak me out a bit, and that sinister feeling started to creep up to me again. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, when a voice said „Are you ok?“ I opened my eyes, seeing Jake standing infront of me. I managed to barely make a smile at him „Yeah, im fine.“ He was looking at me, those deep eyes scaning every inch of my face, like he knew what i said wasnt true. „Just tired, i guess.“ I added, giving him a bit bigger smile, wich seemed to make him belive me. He leaned on the car next to me, and we just stood there in silence for a while. I get restless every time im close to him, my hands itch to just grab him and pull him closer. „You look good, by the way.“ He said after a while, giving me a shy look. His words snaped me from my fantasizing, and  i smiled and winked at him „Thanks, glad you noticed.“ „Ofcourse i did, i do have eyes, you know.“ He said teasingly. I turned towards him making a gesture of bevilderment as i said „Oh my, he can joke!“ „I try my best.“ He said, smiling. Oh that beautiful smile, i tought again, making me smile, too. „You going back in?“ he asked. „No.“ I started „I'm actualy contemplating should i walk or drive back to the motel.“ „And how's that going for you?“ he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. „Well, considering im still standing here doing non of the above, i would say not good.“ I replied, sighing desperatly. He chuckled at me „Hmm, well, how about I drive you back to the motel?“ I looked at him surprised, not really expecting it „You would do that?“ He smiled shyly at me „I would“ pausing a bit, before adding „For you.“ My heart started beeting like crazy, and i could feel heet comming to my cheeks. This night really is interesting. „Umm, well, sure, i'd like that.“ I told him. „But, you dont mind walking back again?“ i asked. „No, its fine.“ „Alright then, lets go.“ I told him, taking my keys out of my purse handing them to him. Our palms touched as i gave him the keys, and our eyes met. He moved his hand slowly away, taking the key, giving me goosebumps. I barely glued myself of the car to let him get in. I got in myself as he started the car and we drow from the Auroras parking. It wouldnt take us long to the motel, and i wished the ride wasnt that short. I noticed he was driving slower then you would normaly drive, as if sharing my toughts himself. I felt nervous, my head was blank, i didnt know what to say. All of a sudden, a tought crossed my mind. „Hey, Jake, can i ask you something?“ „Sure.“ He said, sounding relieved the awkward silence got broken. „Well, i just tought, i havent had a chance to ask you before. Wern't you in some kind of trouble, if im not mistaken?“ i paused before continuing. „I mean, we never discussed it any further. And since you're here at Duskwood for quite some time now already, i was just wondering what's up with all that.“ „You're right“ he started, glancing shortly at me, focusing back on the road „Short version: lets say i made a deal with some people, making sure i'll be left at peace.“ „A deal“ i started „You didnt threaten anyone, or something like that?“ „What?“ he said, „Ofcourse not! What made you ask that?“ „Hey, its a legit question.“ I told him, rising my hands up. „You can understand why a tought like that might cross my mind.“ He was silent for a moment before saying „Ok, fair enough. But, no, i didnt threaten anyone, if that makes you feel better.“ „It does. I just dont want for things to get complex for you again.“ I said, adding after a little pause, my voice getting a bit sadder „Or you dissapearing again.“ He looked at me with such tenderness, slowing the drive even more now „Dont worry, Maya, i'm not going anywhere.“ I smiled at him „Good.“ He turned his head, focusing on the road again, and i realized we came at the motel. He parked close to my room. Neither of us was eager to leave the car, so we just sat there in silence for a moment. I had a felling he wanted to say something, but wasnt sure about it. I finaly managed to force myself to leave the car. I was about to pull the door handle, when Jake suddenly said „Wait.“ I turned towards him. „Can i ask you something now?“ „Sure“ i said, even tho i had a feeling i wouldnt really like the question. He got all nervouse, but finaly asked „You and Phil.. is there something happening?“ Oh,no,no,no, i tought, why he had to ask it. The night would end perfectly without this. I groaned pleadingly at him „Ugh, can we not talk about Phil now, please.“ „Why not?“ he asked, and i noticed his nervousness intensifing. „Because i dont know what to tell you, Jake.“ „How about the truth?“ he said. „I cant do that.“ He looked at me confused „Why not?“ „Because i myself dont know what the truth is.“ I groaned, leaving the car. He left the car, closing the door and walking over to me handing me the keys „What do you mean?“ „I mean, i'm a mess, Jake.“ I started „I dont know what to think any more. You want the truth? Fine. Yes, i like Phil, i cant denie it. We clicked, i feel good arround him, thats the truth.“  My words  stung him, and he barely managed to say „I see.“ He leaned with his back against the car, steadying himself. But i wasnt finished yet. „And then there's you, Jake“ i started, my voice full of compassion and tenderness. He looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. „I like you, too. I like you so much, that it hurts.“ I paused a bit before i continued. „Im drawn to you like a magnet, i cant pull off. But, its like, every time the magnets are about to connect, one switches polarity and the other is thrown aback. Its driving me insane! With Phil, everything flows easy. But with you, its everything but easy.“ „Maya, i know i'm not the easiest person..“ he started to say, but i held my fingers to his lips, not leting him speak.They wer so soft and warm, i had to focuse hard on what i wanted to say. „I know, its not easy for you to open up, to let people in. I get it. And i know i said i can wait, that i'll be patiente. But my patiance is fading. I dont know how much longer i can go on like this, Jake. Its tearing me up inside.“ As i said it, i leaned my forehead to his, putting both of my arms to his chest,leaning against him. We just stayed like that for a while. Being this close to him, and the warmth of his body radiating - i felt serene. His heart was beeting fast, probably matching mine. I could stay like this forever, i tought, but i needed to continue. I was waiting for this, to finaly tell him what was on my mind. „I need to know what might be of us.“ I said „If there even exists the posibility of 'us'.“ We stayed like that for a while more, non of us daraing to move or speak, before i slowely pulled away from him. I sighed „You dont have to say anything now. Just, think about what i said. You know where to find me if you want to talk.“ I leaned to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek „Good night, Jake. Thanks for the ride.“ I turned walking slowly towards my room, when i heard him say „Good night, Maya, sweet dreams.“ I turned back, not stopping in my steps, giving him one more smile, him smiling back. I hoped me opening up like this will make him finaly understand the depths of my feelings. I knew there was a posibility he might not feel the same, but i didnt care of it now. I did what i could, i told him how i feel, now he holds all the cards. I unlocked my door and entered the room, kicking my boots off, throwing myself on the bed. What an interesting night it was, i tought smiling, covering myself with blanket and letting sleep take over me.

[akatsvmu]

ok hot take — but also because I’m genuinely curious — I’ve seen a lot of discussion about the anti - Asian racism in shadow and bone and how it was unnecessary + obvious that the writers were white, etc.

*this ended up being long so I put the rest under the cut*

before I begin I just want to say that im just putting this out here to hear what others have to say !! I’m open to whatever u have to say legit I just want to talk to others about this hahah. I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but if I do then I apologize and if you feel like it, to let me know why exactly so I can be more aware next timee

okk so, reading what everyone else had to say after finishing the season made me question myself BIG TIMEEEE because tbh ..... I didn’t really see what the problem was as I was watching the show 😭

I didnt watch any trailers or promo vids before the show bc I didnt want to expect anything. so the first time I heard about Alina being half - shu was when she said it in the show — and TBHHH I was actually so happy (since I’m South East Asian) it was a pleasant surprise, I was like “omg I can relate to uu !! <33” kind of thing ya know.

After i watched it, I read the discussions on how they handled it and everything and I was worried bc I was still having such a hard time seeing what was so wrong about it,, I genuinely felt really bad at this point bc I was thinking like ... am I racist ?? Or am I actually contributing to racism and all that ?? soo I wanted to just share some of my thoughts here and if you actually finish reading this maybe like share some of your thoughts too ??

okok so hear we go — Alina being changed into half - shu didnt bother me at all, as I said earlier it was a nice surprise since it allowed me to relate to her more, i remember i even texted my friend bc i was so happy lmaooo (plus I thought it fit well since Jessie is actually half chinese).

About how the racism was ‘unnecessary’ since it’s a fictional world and all >> I get how they technically didn’t need to add it in — BUT... I kind of liked that they did add it ?? since it showed me that, oh you know she went through all of that, was discriminated against, etc. but was still able to do all the things she did and she didn’t let any of that stop her (I've finished the trilogy so I know how her story ends, assuming they stick to the books in later seasons lmao).

I mean tbh I even felt kinda better ? Hopeful even ?? My line of thinking was like “even the sun summoner faced some racism yet she was able to push through her journey !!” and all that ++ plus how she didn’t let it affect her — she even said, “don’t change my eyes” in that one scene which made me feel really proud for some reason.

about how they only centered the racism around Alina >> like how Jesper or Inej didn't really have to face any racism ++ and how it was all anti shu ..... again that didn’t rly bother me bc like ..... she’s kind of the main character ????? Not to say that the other characters stories don’t matter (lmao im not done w crooked kingdom yet but I already prefer their duology over the trilogy 😭🤚🏼) but given the fact that this particular adaptation of the story (or even season) is about Alina and Her experiences,, it’s kind of a given that the story will literally revolve around her and the challenges she faces ?????

the books obviously talked about what inej and the others went through + but that was because they had two books and individual chapters to flesh out their characters, plus we learned about their origins through a flashback type thing, it wasn’t a linear storyline.

This season had 8 episodes, so I really didn’t expect them to focus on their backstories since it's established that they’ve been working together for a while (the three crows, not Nina and Matthias). In the show, Alina has just discovered her powers = meaning her arc has just started.

lastly, about how it was unnecessary that Zoya was racist to Alina >> This one confused me a lot im ngl, because in the first book zoya does act like a lil bitch to Alina and everyone in the little palace — Marie and Nadia constantly talked shit abt her behind her back — bro even Genya didn’t like her lol — ALSO she even admitted to this in the second or third book right ?? So considering where her arc goes — I thought that this was obvious ?? she was meant to be disliked at first bc she literally has a redemption arc (AHHH don’t get me wrong here I loved zoya in the end pls shes so snarky ahidhshshs she a lil bitch but she owns it 😌😌 as she should)

I know she wasn’t outright racist to Alina in the books — but she was mean to her — *if I’m not wrong doesn’t she also whisper to Alina in front of the king about how she was an orphan peasant?* given the changes in the show, I thought it was understandable for her to treat her that way (not that it’s ok for anyone to be treated that way but you get the point right...) also idk if this counts but she does correct that one lady saying that Inej was suli and not whatever she originally said.

okk that’s all I can think of now, if you made it this far I wanna say thank uuu so much ily 🥰 ,, I know this was long I didnt think I had this much to say.

if you want then pleaseee share some of your thoughts 🤲🏼🤲🏼 i don’t want to subconsciously be a racist apologist or anything 😭😭 so I’m open to hearing what u have to say ++ also I’m really just wondering why I saw this so differently compared to everyone else ahshsjhdhs.

edit: ive only read the trilogy and six of crows so far. i havent had the time to start crooked kingdom or nikolai's books bc school :/ soo if youre gonna comment, please dont mention anything about crooked kingdom and anything after that !! huhu shhshshsa

SECOND EDIT: someone commented on this but i posted it accidentally and deleted the old one and didnt see their comment im gonna cry aaaaaa

[surveysonfleek]

1606.

Do you like using cinnamon on or in any of your food? not particularly but i put them in my banana smoothies from time to time

Did you ever make fortune tellers as a kid? yes, always! we even made one at work with all our names on it

Do you know how to cook or bake? yes, not well but ive made some standouts here and there :)

Who is the best cook in your family? my parents are equally as good as each other. my sister is the worst lmao

Which berry is your favorite? honestly... i dont like berries. if i had to choose, strawberry

What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? scrambled eggs, avocado and bread

Do you prefer cappuccinos or frappuccinos? frapps. theyre always fun to drink lol

Have you ever tried to learn a foreign language? only at school because we were made to. 

Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? ugh idk, neither! it depends what kind of animals are in the water if im honest lol

Do you own any leather-bound books? nope

Which baby animal is your favorite? i feel like legit all puppies are cute

Do you like jam on your toast and biscuits? i never have jam! i only ever eat it when i have scones, which is already rare

What was the scent of the last candle you burned? burning one now. it’s called poolside paradise.

Are there any plants in your home? yes, plenty!

Do you prefer honey, sugar, or something else as a sweetener? i use honey for my smoothies

What food does honey go best with? honey soy chicken, yum

When is the last time you were lazy and just curled up to read a good book? last year lol

What was on the last sandwich that you ate? tuna salad (not really a salad btw, just onions and mayo lol)

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? nope

What is your favorite type of weather? sunny but cold in the shade

Do you love seeing frost hanging off leaves in the Winter? it never happens here

Do you love all the rain that Spring brings? i never really noticed how much it rains in spring until now! i dont mind it but i hate driving in the rain

Do you prefer wrapping presents or putting them in a bag? honestly, if a bag is available it’s so much easier lol.

If your friend made you a batch of cookies, what cookies would you like them to be? white choc macadamia

What is your favorite book? harry potter series and i have sooo many more but im just at a blank rn

Have you ever reread a book? always!!

What is your dream house like? just spacious. it doesnt even have to be a ‘big’ house, i just want open plan living, dark decor and a lot of plants

Would you ever like to own a chandelier? i dont mind, not something on my list

What scent is the last body wash you used? coconut

Do you have any religious symbols in your home? yes

What religion do you identify with, if any? none really but i was raised catholic

If you could have a small garden in your backyard, what would you plant? monsteras

What pets have you had while growing up? i only ever had budgies, fish and one dog. idk if i want anymore.

If you went to an art museum, what do you think you would want to see first? id look at their most famous piece first

What type of museum would you like to go to? any!!! i love all museums

Do you enjoy those tins of butter cookies? haha i used to love them as a kid but i only liked one type. once that particular type was finished, i was over it

Are you diligent with your studies? not super but i wasnt a slacker either

Do you prefer to eat ice cream from a cone or a cup? cup

When is the last time you went to a carnival? honestly, years ago

Have you ever been to the circus? yes, again, years ago. i havent seen any around in a really long time

Do you own any art supplies? sure do, it was something i picked up during lockdown lol

Do you have a favorite glass, cup, or mug? my mum collects starbucks mugs. i loved the las vegas one until it broke lol

What are some of your favorite scents? sooo many. fruity scents, fresh scents, freshly baked bread, vanilla etc

What is you favorite flavor of pudding and/or yogurt? i dont eat either often tbh

Do you have a daily planner that you write in? nope

What branch of science interests you the most? bio

Do you prefer writing in pen or pencil? pen

How many notebooks do you own? Are they all filled? none lol

Do you enjoy flavored coffee? If so, which flavor is your favorite? vanilla, caramel and irish cream

What kind of tea is your favorite? earl grey is my fave :)

[therianomalocaris]

Hey I don’t know if you remember me but a long time ago or maybe not so long ago it’s hard to remember.

But I was mildly freaking out because I felt like I was kin but didn’t know who, kin from homestuck yet I haven’t finished homestuck due to my availability to read being cut off during a trauma in my childhood. I was unsure of these kin/troll type therian feelings, so I dismissed them.

Well today I bought pesterquest on steam after having an irl type homestuck internet to irl friend experience. And man the feelings they just come back.. I’m not sure but I think I’m sollux or gamzee or someone else? But it’s weird because I’m trans feminine in this lifetime. Also because like kin type and therian is a spiritual thing for me (past life belief) but it conflicts with some of my Christian upbringing and I still believe in God, but my mentality with the man upstairs is kinda fucked and confused

So I am here once again, asking for your help.

How do you figure out your kin type/therian type, especially when you’re like unsure as to who you may have been in a past life. It’s hard to tell between like a “me feeling” and “oh this person was a friend and or enemy feeling.”

How does one gain memories or seen into ones past life? And would you recommend I take out the tomes that are the homestuck books so that I can see if it sparks anything (I don’t spend much time online anymore to read online)

Also what was your experience when first figuring this stuff out?

Sorry, for talking your ear off. Also I saw you have a webcomic and just wanted to say your art is amazing.

Thanks if you answer this if you don’t well thanks you seem like really cool and your blog gets a thumbs up emoji x2

hello! i do remember you, yes! thank you for your kind words about my art, and don't apologize because i love receiving long messages ::::)

i dont have any advice for getting past life memories, apart from directly interacting with your source. im actually really bad with memories which is why it takes me a really long time to "confirm" anything. it took me a very long time to figure out my kintypes, and most of that was spent basically trying kintypes on? saying "im this" for a while, then dropping it when i realized it didnt fit. theres kind of a stigma against this in 'kin communities, it's kind of the brute force way of doing things, but it worked well enough for me.

for homestuck trolls though, a solid piece of advice i can give to figure things out is to try writing with quirks! after i had eliminated most possible candidates i didnt know if i was vriska or terezi, but writing with terezis quirk felt wrong whereas writing with vriskas quirk felt like me. this may not work for everyone, but it's the best ive got.

i would NOT recommend reading the homestuck books to someone who hasnt read the webcomic. they are heavily edited and annotated, and pretty much only exist to be a collectors item for fans of the comic looking for author commentary and a sweet series to have on their shelf.

maybe you should try let's read homestuck from voxus instead! it's basically a homestuck audiobook with visuals, but honestly most of homestuck visuals dont really matter that much so you can just let it run in the background until you hit a flash. still ongoing and currently goes up to act 6 intermission 4, i havent listened to it myself but ive heard good things so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i hate to tell this to people, because i legit think it's Bad Advice™ for reading homestuck and obviously i have Opinions™ about that, but if you SPECIFICALLY want to know about the beta trolls, you might have an easier time skipping to act 5. thats the part of the story that focuses on them!

also quick thing about the gender thing: im transmasc and was transfem as vriska. gender is weird like that, dont focus too much on it if you wish to retain your sanity lol.

i wish you the best of luck in figuring yourself out, you got this!!!!!!!!

[an-american-whovian]

• The Story Thus Far:

After Martha Jones takes a hint and drops the Doctor like the shitty fuck boy that he is -- he gets his first platonic companion in Donna Noble.

All the while, we get the culmination of the Russell T Davies era (well, this and the specials that followed before Moffatt took over as of series five).

• I Keep Getting Ahead of Myself:

Just before we reintroduce Donna -- the Doctor teams up with that lady who played Cammy in 'Street Fighter: the Movie' (Raul Julia was LEGIT in that film, yo).

'Voyage of the Damn' is fine. The Doctor boards a spaceship made to look like the Titanic, gets a brief companion, hangs out with an obese couple, fights off some angels and then a half robot dude. Lady sacrifices herself to save the day . . . (That's gonna be a theme fer a bit.)

That's basically it. One of the most inoffensive episodes of NuWho.

• Y'all Might Hate Me fer This One:

A LOT of people LOVE series four; and fer good reason. The chemistry between Tennant and Tate carries over from 'The Runaway Bride'. They're SO MUCH fun together -- and it's great to have a companion not be head over heels on the Doctor. (They've even continued their chemistry over on the Big Finish audios. Still haven't gotten around to hearing any of those, yet, tho'.)

Be that as it may, this MIGHT BE the most overrated series of NuWho. Like, yea, the mystery of Rose's return is legit -- and the epicness of the three part finale is DOPE; but aside from (MAYBE) 'Planet of the Ood' and 'Midnight' -- everything else is just kinda meh.

• Mediocrity at its Best:

'Partners in Crime' is a fun little opener. The Adipose havent aged well (Baby Yoda they aren't). That ending with Rose pulling a Houdini was a nice set up fer the series arc.

'Fires of Pompeii' is aight. Like, if anything, it works better in retrospect as they use this story to explain Capaldi's "face".

The Sontaran two parter and 'The Doctor's Daughter's do nothing fer me. Love me some Sontarans -- and I love that genius austistic dude's sacrifrice at the end; but it's a skippable story. Jenny in the latter should've been more. She's (KINDA) the fucking Doctor's daughter. (I think she's only showed up in the comics or audio since then . . . )

(P.s. She sacrifices herself, too)

'The Unicorn and the Wasp' is serviceable at best.

• I Always Get Ahead of Myself:

Fucking hell -- I almost forgot about the River Song two parter! Gah! Those two episodes and EVERYTHING after is sheer perfection.

Alex Kingston as River Song is just one of my favorite things ever. That look on her face when she realizes the Doctor has NO IDEA who she is? Her sacrifice at the end? HOW DID SHE KNOW THE DOCTOR'S NAME!? (Has that even been resolved!?) "Spoileeeeers . . . "😭

'Midnight' is just one of those perfect bottle episodes that does everything right.

• And in the End . . . :

Then we have that three part finale. Not enough can be said about Catherine Tate and Bernard Cribbins' Wilf! I'm always a fan of when DW tries something different and this episode checks every box.

Alternate universe? ✔.

Mystery of Rose? ✔.

Donna sacrificing herself (fourth sacrifice fer the series)? ✔.

Cliffhanger? ✔.

Then you have what's basically the Avengers Infinity War/Endgame of Doctor Who before the MCU even tried it! Torchwood! Sarah Jane and company! Martha Jones! Mickey Smith! Harriet Jones (ANOTHER fucking sacrifice)! Even Jackie FUCKING Tyler! The return of the Daleks AND DAVROS! If there's ANYTHING that can be said about Russell T Davies: he really knows how to craft an EPIC series finale.

Like, that ending with Davros cursing out the Doctor!? So dope. That cliffhanger with Ten FINALLY being reunited with Rose -- only to get shot and begin to regenerate!? An entire TARDIS crew navigating the TARDIS -- only fer the Doctor to end up all ALONE after erasing all of Donna's memories of him!? 😭

In short: You can pro'ly watch the series opener and then skip to 'Silence in the Library'.

From then on? Doctor Who at its fucking BEST.

Siskel and Every would've given it ALL the thumbs up.

👍🏽x💯

[pbandjesse]

Im in a really good mood right now. My allergies are bothering me a little but I feel really positive. Which is nice. I havent felt that easy all day, but for the most part today was pretty positive. 

I slept alright but  I had very weird dreams. Getting up was a little easier today. James told me he was going to leave to do errands. Something I asked to do together last night. So then I was upset and I went to started getting dressed and I heard him in the other room putting his shoes and coat on and I was like hey what the heck I just said I wanted to go. And it hurt my feelings. But he waited and seemed to get why it upset me. I just dont want to be left out and I hadnt gone anywhere for days and I just want to spend time together. He is afraid of annoying me and wanted to like. Take care of the chores without making me do it. He wasnt trying to make me sad. 

It was nice going out though. We went to the pet store first. The store we get sweetP's food from is going out of business so we loaded up on the discounted food. It probably would have been weird being in a store that had whole shelves empty if 2020 wasnt what it was. But we got good deals and lots of food and then we headed out. 

We went to the grocery store next. I knew I wanted to make a cheese plate so I was pretty focused on that goal. It was nice just walking around. I felt real cute today and I was just having a nice time being out. We got basically everything we needed and headed out. 

The next thing was our plan to get a christmas tree! Not a big one. Just a little buy. Tucker suggested we get a bush or a topiary. And I liked that idea. James took me to the fancy garden store I had requested visiting someday. And it was fun walking around and checking out the different plants. I want to go back and buy more plants sometime but for now we were focused on small tree. We decided on a legit dwarf tree. Its so cute. I asked James to find the fatest one and I think he did a good job. I have never had a real tree before. I dont think we ever did a real one when I was a kid. I did go to a tree farm a few times with friends' families but I had no concept of price. James said that his family usually went for a tree around $100. Seems wild but alright. So that was our budget. 

And we fell under that budget so I was pretty pumped. I also just like that we got a living tree and not a cut one. I am hoping we can keep it alive for a good amount of time and maybe plant it someday. 

James buckled our tree in the backseat and we headed home. 

We brought everything inside and while James unpacked the food I got the tree set up on one of our small tables. I cut some green plaid fabric to make a base and we just need a pot or something to put the tree inside. But I am pretty pleased. 

I played animal crossing for a bit. It was Peach's birthday And I kept working on the big changes. But I didnt play for to long. Instead after me and James had lunch, I painted his toes in red and green for christmas and then we worked on the next part of our lego train. We did part 3 of the 4 parts. But I didnt want to finish it today. So once we got the top of the engine car complete I tapped out and went and laid in our room and watched videos for a while. I was very tired but I couldnt sleep. 

James was playing video games in the other room. But eventually he came and cuddled me before he had to leave for work. I hope he comes home early again, I have been enjoying that a lot. 

Once he left I sort of mopped for a bit but I decided I would go out and go for a drive. And I ended up going to a few thrift stores. Mostly to look for a pot for the tree. At savers I did not have luck with that but I did find some christmas gift things. Some fabric. And then I headed to the 2nd avenue. Where I had luck finding a very cool pot but the line was literally around the store so I was like. Hah! Nevermind! And bounced. 

Finally I went to the big goodwill. I found a big metal bucket there that I thought I could paint to look more christmasy. And I also found pants with a frog print all over them??? I thought they might be too big but when I got them home and tried them on they fit me great and are hilarious. 

I headed home after that. The sun was almost down by the time I got home. But it wasnt even 5. I put away my stuff and put together a cheese board for myself. Which while it would have been nice to have some more berries or something for color, it tasted great and I ate the entire thing. 

I have had a nice night though. I did a bunch of cleaning. I started painting the bucket I bought but its dark outside so I dont know if it will need a second coat. Im just assuming it will tomorrow. I changed the sheets and cleaned the fridge. Its just been a really nice night. And now I am going to go take a bubble bath and wait for James to come home. 

Tomorrow I hope to have a good studio day. My store has not been having a very good sale weekend. But I will keep trying. I hope to workshop my new patterns too. I hope you all have a great night though. Sleep well yall. Goodnight.��

[prorevenge]

Want to go on Vaction and not pay us for the work? Wont be home for a few days after informing us? Sure.

My grandpa is on my "Do not ever fuck with" list. In any way. Short list:

Taught Shotokan overseas in Korea

One of the highest ranked black belts outside of Japan. I have seen security footage of some of his bar fights. Its legit.

Was a personal bodyguard during the 70's for some Governors in our state

Worked construction for decades: one of two Master Carpenters in my state - which leads to this story

During summers, I would work with Gramp doing a lot of his manual monkey labor: Shingles up to the roof, mix concrete, sand floors, keep everything tidy, etc. He'd been screwed over the years as many general and subcontractors are, and as the years went by his contracts for work go more and more specific: IE payments on a certain schedule, new/unexpected cost and how they're dealt with, etc.

One particular job started out pretty normal: He's hired to build a new deck with a new patio/driveway patio for this guy, lets call him ShitBrain. New construction, newer house, easy job. Gramps had even done work for him in the past, no problems. Deck is to be partly covered, 10x50 on the front of the house, 4ft up with concrete stairs. Brand new door. Brand new picture window (4x8). Driveway is to be stained, freshly poured between the new deck and garage grandpa built a few years ago. Guy was even going on vacation for a few weeks, we can get the job done in those 3 weeks if we bust it.

Guy pays 50% of the estimated cost up front, and was to pay the remaining 50% over the agreed time. Now, this first payment covered all material for the original estimate, and paid us basically minimum wage for the hours we'd put in. The next few installments would cover the subcontractor for pouring the driveway, and the remaining hourly wages.

Weekend 1 passed: No agreed payment. Hmm... guys on vacation, maybe he forgot to setup auto-pay. Whatever. Send him pictures on AOL email. The original concrete stairs had been removed, new door was in place. Deck was framed out. But we didnt hear from Shitbrain

Weekend 2 passed: Shit, no pay yet but work needs to be done. Concrete guys are here for the new slab and stairs: Lets get it done so we can move onto new jobs. Subcontractor is a long time family friend and distant relative (Call him Timmy), does us a favor and pours/stains on an IOU. Send more pictures on AOL. No response from Shitbrain.

Week 3. We've finished our work two days early. Subcontractor has finished their work. It looks amazing, up there on a nice hill. But... we havent been paid for this work. Gramp finally gets ShitBrain on the phone:

​

Gramp: Hey Shitbrain, hows was vacation? (blahblahblah skip forward 3-5 min: Gramps is a talker, and lived in the vacation state for a few years) Great, glad you had a great time while I was busted it here. Holy hell its been hot. What did you think of the work? Shitbrain: "Oh it looks great! we'll be home later day after tomorrow. We're having a get together with XYZ"

Gramp: Well glad you're going to enjoy it. Oh hey, seems like your bank didnt pay us on the schedule agreement.

Shitbrain: "So?"

Gramp: Excuse me?

Shitbrain: "So what? I not paying you the rest of the money. Works done. Tough luck you old fucker"

Gramp: I understand.

Click.

Gramp: Well OP, lets get to work. Oh, and get Timmy on the phone…

​

Shitbrain had that large garage Gramp had built years ago, and the guy let us use to store equipment while they were out. First, the brand new door was removed and placed in the garage. Then, each piece of the brand new deck was removed, and placed into the garage. Sadly, the post were 36in deep but hey, a 4x4 truck pulled those out of the ground nice and good after a bit of shoveling. Those were also placed into the garage. Window was also removed from the frame, and placed on top of this pile. Deconstruction is MUCH faster than construction afterall.

Timmy was rather unhappy as well about not getting paid, but hey... We found out that the new stairs we poured moved well enough across the new driveway/patio. And, some bleach took care of the stain we put onto the patio. Sadly it had a few chips in it from all the ruckus, and someone made the time to take a diamond saw and cut all the way through the seams. Sadly it'll now settle at an un-even rate. But, all the material Shitbrain paid for: He got to keep. We even went into the garage in the evening and made sure his front door was locked. You know, for security. Even the few tools we needed for the job which Shitbrain paid for, stayed in the garage

Fast forward two days: Shitbrain comes home and throws a shitstorm. It had stormed, and his AC had been running non-stop with the increase of draft into the front of the house. Of course he threatens Gramps with a lawsuit and the police, which just makes Gramp laugh: A close relative was the Assistant Chief of Police in our small town, unbeknownst to Shitbrain. We did everything we were contractually obligated and paid to do: All the equipment, all the materials were in Shitbrain’s possession. That is, after all, what he paid us for. Shitbrain blustered a lot, but it did fuck all.

Fast forward a bit. No one in the local union will deal with the guy. Gramps and Timmy are both pretty well respected and do a lot of great work around town. Someone from out of town ends up ‘fixing’ the issues, and does a shit job of it. Darn.

TLDR: If you want to fuck over the General Contractor, do it after you get home, and string it out. Dont fuck them over before you’re home from vacation.

GCs and SCs generally have to move quickly to the next job if they want to make $, and the vast majority of the time wont have the funds or time to try and collect. We have no idea why Shitbrain tried to pull that shit, but since Shitbrain had paid us well and on time for the garage job, Gramp ignored the inner voice.

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[gizkasparadise]

kdrama rec: welcome to waikiki

master kdrama reclist Series: welcome to waikiki, laughter in waikiki, eulachacha waikiki, go go waikiki (there are like a thousand variants on the name) Episodes: 20 Genres: comedy, romance, slice-of-life, being a tired millennial, found family, friendship  Spoilers in the Review: for basic premise and otherwise marked Rank: 10/10!!! If You Like, You’ll Like: the Chaotic Good to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Chaotic Evil, it’s been compared to New Girl though i havent seen that show, age of youth/hello my twenties!, Friends but better like way better, my first first love but funnier, Concentrated Himbo Energy

“Gwaenchana, gwaenchana!”

PREMISE

the show opens and you’re like “ugh fuck is this going to be like The Hangover?” and, thankfully, the answer to that is no. 

dong gu, joon ki, and doo shik are long-time best friends who run a guest house/hostel called Waikiki. in addition to the guest house, they have dreams of making it in the film industry: dong gu as a director, joon ki as an actor, and doo shik as a writer. they’re barely getting by when one morning they wake up and there’s a baby hiding in a bunk bed.

the show’s a lot better than what im selling, but it follows these three, yoon nah, seo jin, and soo ah as they go through nonsense, love, and more nonsense

MAIN CHARACTERS

kang dong gu

my favorite character in the drama. a dude who never has anything go right for him, dong gu comes across as a grumpy tall boi and that’s because he is. the beginning of the drama sees him freshly dumped by his girlfriend of four years, soo ah. an aspiring director, he wants to make Filmes but in the meantime makes videos for baby birthday parties.

petty. p e t t y. p e t t y. p��  e   t   t   y. i love him so much, like so so much. barfs on the first date, has a weakness for cute things, does not make flashy love confessions. single-minded with spite

lee joon ki

an aspiring actor, joon ki only gets extra/background roles without any lines. the most concentrated himbo energy in one person. in fact, probably accounts for at least 17% of all himbo energy in south korea. 

crazy positive. like all the time. will romantically shave your face and dress up as a pink octopus--not necessarily in that order. makes a situation go from 0 to 10 to 100. fakes his own death then blows his cover because he wants a hug really bad

bong doo shik

rounding out Those Three Guys, doo shik is an aspiring writer who also works a lot of part-time jobs. as he works on his Masterpiece, Bruce Lee Is the President, he gets roped into writing for the erotic film industry.

only owns sweat/tracksuits. has never had a girlfriend. sings sad songs with a hamster voice. smelly feet are a Trigger. stay at least 100 yards away

han yoon nah

the single mother to baby sol who stumbles into becoming a long-term resident of the guest house. clueless but well-meaning, she ends up working for waikiki and tries to pursue her dream of becoming a rapper. is quickly discouraged from this dream and tries to pursue Her Other Dream of becoming a professional baker.

tragic backstory so long the show had to finish it off-screen. sick beats. terrible present giver. so cute people almost die from it (people is dong gu)

kang seo jin / “chewbacca”

dong gu’s little sister and resident of waikiki. at the beginning of the drama, she’s graduated from college and is in the process of finding a job as a reporter. has the unfortunate nickname of “chewbacca” due to growing facial hair at an alarming rate (she has to shave 2x a day)

will slap you with a hunk of meat. will slap you with a car. will slap your body ever so far.

min soo ah

dong gu’s ex-girlfriend who ends up moving to the waikiki guest house for Reasons. formerly a model, soo ah tries her hand at fashion designing (results? mixed) and roping doo shik into creating an online shopping mall

makes babies cry. has clear political perspectives on THAAD. confesses feelings during an endoscopy. legend tbh

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS

baby sol

the best actor on the show. the baby to end all babies. the epitome of babies. will watch the baby shark song over and over again. seems to know that her uncles and dad are complete buffoons.

son hyun joon

hot pastry daddy. 

rebecca

this car will kill us all.

REVIEW

drawbacks

the screenwriter seems to have a Weird Thing about girls farting. it only happens like 4 times throughout 20ish hours but it’s still really...something

i dont understand any other criticism of this show and i wont respond to it

reasons to watch

i fucking cackled from beginning to end on this one. like. gross, ugly, loud laughs that woke up my spouse at 3am. it’s legit the funniest kdrama i’ve seen 

the. ships. they’re all so amazing. there’s three main ones and they’re very distinct and heartwarming in different (and, in one case, very strange) ways. we got tall and small, grumpy and happy, friends to lovers, found family, sensual face shaving-

HERE’S MY FAVORITE: so the show sets up all these kdrama scenarios that im so tired of and then subverts or sidesteps them. for example:

The Ex-Girlfriend Moving In........has the male lead constantly yelling that he doesn’t like her anymore while low-key checking for the new love interest’s reactions to make sure she doesn’t believe he likes her. the ex-girlfriend also has zero interest in the male lead and gets along great with the New Love Interest

Oh My God She’s A Single Mother.....so don’t be an asshole to her (TAKE NOTES CAMELLIA)

spoiler A Friend Wants To Date A Friend’s Ex-Girlfriend..........literally no one cares. it is, in fact, not even brought up that the ex-girlfriend is an ex-girlfriend

spoiler the Rich Stable Man in the love triangle plans to confess his feelings....and tells the female lead to go after the guy she actually likes. he also helps the other side of the love triangle win a camera because his broke and he can’t afford a new one

spoiler The Baby’s Father Shows Up Wanting A Second Chance......and is told to leave 3 times then does. he doesn’t even get a name tag

it does play some relatively straight (ex: brother finding out about his sister and best friend dating and Not Taking It Well), but they’re done in an entertaining way and the melodrama throughout the story is really light/over quickly

so yeah. watch it

[labetalol]

psycho-pass s3ep3 summary + thoughts + analysis (spoilers)

hi! i’m typically making this post for those who can’t watch it but wants to read spoilers! so here we go!

this episode mainly was to progress the mystery of a supposed suicide of a doctor who worked with a current candidate for some sort of political office. i CANNOT remember the names and the wiki pages havent updated, but theres 2 candidates as of now, a former wrestler and a pop star. the doctor worked on the pop star’s campaign but developed a stalking tendency towards her. he gets checked into a mental facility and then he supposedly jumps out the window. arata shindo believes he was actually trying to escape, thus leading kei ignatov + arata shindo to look into this further. they basically break off and conduct mini-investigations, unauthorized by chief shimotsuki. 

in this episode, we mainly see development of character between all the main cast. below i will talk more about this, but lemme continue the main arc: kei and temma todoroki, the older enforcer, usually are paired up to investigate the wrestler candidate while arata and irie pair up to investigate the pop star. the main thing i think they figure out is that there is some sort of third party between the candidates that can be undetected by scanners and do evil bidding without people noticing. this is exemplified through an attack on the 2 enforcers, 2 inspectors, and someone from the wrestler’s campaign. a few disguised men came and attacked them, killing the campaign manager and injuring irie. they weren’t flagged down by anything and got access to the hotel in and out, so obviously something is off if these bad guys are able to move around like that.

the episode ends with kei becoming suspended due to him hitting someone due to personal reasons. below i will explain more because that deals with his characterization development!

ok finally some character development!!!!

arata:  “we need to exercise human judgement. that’s why the dominators have triggers.” HUGE STATEMENT! this is such an akane thing to say, i am really happy someone made this observation! obviously, this characterizes him to definitely have empathy. the context was todoroki was about to kill someone with the dominator, but arata stopped him and allowed kei to arrest him instead. this is huge because this is what akane did in season 2 as she attempted to talk someone down to 299 so she could do nonlethal attack rather than killing a latent criminal. 

kei: ok he definitely had a lot of lore added in here and i LOVED IT! his fighting skills from his time in the military obviously is shown in this episode with his easily disarming a man with a shank with a FLASHLIGHT! but i really like this societal issue on immigration. context: kei is married and has a blind wife, who he accompanied to the doctors on consultation for eye treatment. some old guy was angry he had to wait, and noticed kei coming out, being done with his appointment and all. the old guy started yelling and getting angry that an “immigrant” went before him. kei maintained his cool but you can definitely tell he was having none of it! next scene was him and todoroki interrogating some people from the wrestler’s campaign. so context: todoroki is related to a few people working on the campaign, so they express their disgust at how a family member became a latent criminal and look down upon him. todoroki is shown quiet, small, insecure, whereas in the office hes all big talk and strong, so it shows how it really hurts him. kei notices and then PUNCHES the dude, who reports him to shimotsuki who puts him on suspension. its only episode 3!! anyways i liked this because it shows kei’s empathy as well, where he knows family should mean the world and seeing how todoroki’s family treats him makes him upset.

-todoroki: we learn here that he actually was a product of genetic engineering, so him turning to a latent criminal makes everyone be like: he was supposed to be amazing, superior, but instead he’s just an animal, etc... and he is obviously deeply hurt by this mentality. he’s all alone and it defintely reverts my initial opinion that i didn’t really like him. 

-irie: there was a funny scene where (as i explained above) there was a scene that a few men broke in and launched an attack on the group, so irie was there getting beat up and a little robot thing, those yknow the ones with the high pitched voices and big heads was like: you are being hit with a large force on the head, meaning you are probably being assaulted! probability of winning is small, best strategy is to escape! and irie was getting absolutely pummelled and was like OK I WOULD IF I COULD DUMBASS!!! and i loved it! i like his character now, he definitely has his own charm where he likes the looseness and freedom of not living under sibyl. i also liked this scene because another whole essay can be written on how psycho-pass’s society reliance on technology doesn’t always work.

-akane: AKANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY MENTIONED HER SAYING “wasn’t she the killer inspector? the top notice inspector who lost her mind??” LIKE???? do they mean killer inspector like shes great :) hah! or like SHE KILLED SOMEONE???? i am so lost and i dont know if this was in the sinner of the system cases but i have no clue whats going on with akane and apparently she just upped and killed a man and i need to know why and how and please give me more akane please.

-irie x arata: ok i cannot finish this post without mentioning... there was a scene where arata and irie were off investigating together and LEGIT the sun shone down on arata, lighting up his eyes, irie watched him pet a cat, they talked about how even without hope, some of the latent criminals irie knows are the best people around, and arata agrees... i almost feel a relationship coming along! i know psycho pass had yayoi x shion so perhaps they’d also have a gay relationship too. 

-speaking of yayoi... GUESS WHAT BITCHES SHE’S BACK! AND SHE GOT HER HAIR LET DOWN AND A SMIRK AND I AM READY TO SEE WHAT SHE BRINGS IN NEXT EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WIG