#i havent touched this account in a minute

[im-just-an-angel]

one of the most sick things i have realized in the ppl around me who are still catholic, is how much they are plagued with catholic guilt. a girl who won't get surgery bc she believes its punishment for her sins. ppl who are nearly suicidal in their desire for heaven, and since heaven is coming, they do nothing to change their situation. they dont try to improve their lives or others or the planet bc at the end of the day this is a "fallen world" and "heaven is waiting." it is so sick to drill into a persons head since theyre a child that they were born evil, that they need god to fix them, they need god to sustain them, as if it wont affect their mental state at all as adults. my little cousins who have already shown signs of having anxiety about god, like asking if he'll be mad at them/their parents for doing normal, human things. like really being afraid of what that would mean. my opinion and love for this world and its people shifted sp drastically when i realized i could just stop. i could stop being afraid of god. i could stop thinking we all deserved to burn in a lake of eternal fire. who even makes a lake of eternal fire anyway? that very much does not sound like a me problem. when i left the church, i very much still believed in hell, and i very much believed it was a place i would go, and would deserve to go. but i chose it anyway. i chose the eternal torture, because who does a thing like eternal torture? if god would torture me forever, than that wasn't someone i wanted to associate with, consequences be damned. and slowly, i started to see the world differently. i know the world is on fire, and theres a few too many genocides occuring at the moment, and i do truly have it in me to detest forever the people who hurt innocent people. but still, desite it all, despite everything, i think we're good. yes, we do bad things, but at the end of the day, most of us just want to go home, and cuddle our pets/loved ones, and eat a good meal, and look at the stars and dream. we're not so different, and we're not so bad. idk where i was going with all this exactly, but i think the cure to catholic guilt is choosing to believe in the good. catholism says goodness can only come from god, and thats why were damned. but i think we *are* good. even despite all the reasons ppl give me on the contrary. bc i see ppl wish happy holidays to strangers, holidays they dont celebrate themselves, just to see them happy. i see strangers go out of there way to help people every single day. bc most of us understand that we all just want the same things, and are willing to help each other get them. we arent evil, and bad things arent some divine punishment, sometimes things just suck. the cure to catholic guilt, i think, is a love that can outcompete the divine.

[mondaymelon]

first time in this account lol Idk if you're taking requests but I saw that post some minutes ago and... Idk, wanted to request something lol, if you didn't do it yet! What about headcanons with a reader who doesn't show physical attention until some years of knowing them? Like, they know each other for about 5 years and just then the reader decides to do some small act of physical affection... I wanted the headcanons to be with Childe, Arlecchino, Wanderer and Furina! If you can <3

₊˚ෆ 𝐈𝐅 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔… | childe, wanderer, arlecchino, furina x gn!reader

( childe's part might be a little ooc. havent done that part of the archon quest yet cries. also mwah arlecchino we love her in this household !! )

[ You were always someone who wasn’t fond of physical attention. Fleeting touches and kisses to the cheeks were never your forte, yet what should happen if the lover you’ve had for years is suddenly on the receiving end of such affections? ]

"physical affection... ah- it's okay if you can't show that to me, there's plenty of other ways to tell that you love me!"

CHILDE was the one to say those words to you, and the held the most certain truth. You were his lover, and a hug or two couldn't sway the fact! While the harbinger is quite the puppy and often yearns for your warmth, he'll respect your boundaries and allow you whatever. A lover like Childe places your happiness as a priority over his, wanting more to see your eyes sparkle than his own.

"Love, you wouldn't believe what happened in the courthouse today." You glance up from your spot where you're curled up on the couch, snuggled into a fluffy blanket and holding a warm drink in your hands, one of Inazuma's light novels sitting on the armrest. You hear the door to the two of you's home shut and lock, and listen to... Childe's footsteps. How strange, is he stumbling?

Glancing up, you internally gape at the cuts on his body, your eyes instantly drawn at the red splattered across his features. "'Taglia, what hap-"

He lets out a dry chuckle, grinning sheepishly as he rids his shoes at the door. "No worries, the blood isn't mine. Most of it, at least. I managed to get out of there in time, so all's well, yeah?"

As if that'd provide you any comfort. You narrow your eyes, glaring at him unyieldingly, until Childe has no choice but to force out another tasteless chuckle. "Come on now, I'm home, so let's do something fun instead of just being mad at me, 'kay?"

"Tartaglia."

The man flinches, his deep ocean eyes rounding. When you call him that and not his nickname, he knew that he had landed himself in deep shit. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He says that, but the sentence rounds up in a change of his tone, sounding almost suspiciously like a question. "It won't happen aga-"

The world itself seems to stop.

Your head is buried into his chest, arms wrapped around his waist. Archons, can you hear how fast his heart is beating? You've made him into a complete and utter mess. He's blushing, his ears practically on fire, and any thoughts once in his brain have been seared away in single second. It takes him to the count of three to remember how to breathe once more, his chest erratically heaving up and down as his shaking arms wrap around you hesitantly, wondering if it'd be okay to do so.

"...Love?"

"Mhm?"

"I- I thought you-"

"If it's with you, I'm okay."

Oh, how those words tug at his heart. You look so perfect in his arms - yes, you looked simply perfect all the time, he'd admit in a split-second. The messy nest of hair atop your head when you woke up in the early mornings, the dark bags under your eyes when you didn't sleep until late at night, your smile, your laugh, even your scowl. It silenced any effort to not fall in love with you.

A smile tugs at his lips. A bright one, a warm one, if that was even possible. Perhaps his eyes are shining with tears, or perhaps it was merely a trick of light, but he holds you all the closer, not wanting to let you go.

"Love, I... Archons, I don't think I'd be able to love anyone but you." ₊˚ෆ

"..great. i don't want your filthy hands on me anyways, so there shouldn't be a problem, hm?"

WANDERER's words were just that, would it kill him to be a little nicer? It didn't matter... you knew your lover well, or at least well enough to tell that what he said wasn't the complete truth.

Sure, you had seen him shrug off and make expressions of disgust directed towards particularly touchy people that he'd become somewhat acquainted with. And you most certainly had witnessed his frustrated outbursts and rants when he returned home to your shared abode, whining and grumbling about any trivial error someone had made - that is, brushing fingers with him while passing him papers. Something that couldn't exactly be avoided, yet he had glared at the wall for a good amount all the same.

Ah, but then there were moments when he thought you weren't looking, and that was when his eyes would drink you in. Grazing over your eyes, to your lips, then to your hands, where'd they linger on your fingers for perhaps longer than they should.

And you'd catch the times where you were inclined to say something flirtatious - words that were never all that flirtatious in the first place, Wanderer just happened to be unusually susceptible. Chin resting on your hand, eyes staring into his, you'd say something about how pretty he was, and then he'd just about go into neurogenic shock, likely not speaking to you the rest of the day, the tips of his ears, if one squinted to a certain extent, pink.

"Love." You glance up at him, a slight pout fixed on your lips. He'd been immersed in minor tasks, and those pesky things were what stole his attention away from you. An ironic twist of fate, as you were usually the one to be drowning in work, and he'd be the one practically begging for affection.

He hums, yet doesn't even bother to look at you.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

"No."

"Go get something to eat?"

"No."

"Visit the... House of Daena?"

"No."

"Shall we feed the finches?"

A slight pause. "...No."

"Then... let's hold hands?"

He froze at your words, and it seemed that the male lost the function of inhaling, for he sat there unmoving for what seemed like hours, his expression petrified in its form of his large eyes, raised eyebrows, and mouth slightly ajar.

"...Excuse me?" It seemed that he doubted his own ears, for he set his work aside and fixed his focus upon you, fingers trembling just the slightest.

"Hmph, have you suddenly forgotten how to think?" You frowned, yet your eyes curved into crescents all the same, and Wanderer felt his breath hitch at how ethereal you were. The sly fox you were, you took his moment of shock, settling by his side and intertwining your fingers with his. "Like this, is it not?" You were smiling now, and for the first time you glimpsed the red on his ears, but now on his face too, a rosy red descending upon his cheeks.

"What's..." Perhaps you were right. His vocabulary had suddenly dwindled, and now he had nothing but questions - that, and the growing warmth in his chest. "What do you think you're doing right now?"

Whatever attempt he had to sound "mean" had failed. You knew him too well for that. "Holding hands, what else? Your hands are cold you know-" And at that he flinched. "But it feels nice."

D...Did it really?

"You, no... love, let's stay like this. You're... warm." ₊˚ෆ

"when you sought me, i thought it'd be a serious matter. there's no trouble in it, truly, so there's no need to look so dejected."

ARLECCHINO hadn't even batted an eye. Was there a reason to? Yes, this certainly crossed off any thought of romantic couple things like kissing and hand holding, but it wasn't like she'd gasp dramatically and fall to the ground, blaming you for setting boundaries-

As if she'd ever. Your imagination was running wild today, perhaps it was the lack of sleep finally catching up to you? It was a stark contrast compared to Arlecchino, who went days without rest, shuffling through paper after paper on her desk and constantly relaying messages to her subordinates. She was a hard worker - a trait most easily overlooked, but it was a point of adoration for you. A point among many. Arlecchino was an easy person to love, despite the bristling thorns she'd show at first glance.

"Darling, a cup of tea, please?" Her gaze flicked up from her work to you, a thin smile decorating her lips. It was more a less a habit the two of you established - that is, pouring her tea. Her favorite cup was the one you had gifted her when you first started your relationship, shaded in a dark hue and embellished with roses, their blooms, petals, and thorny branches spreading across the expanse of porcelain. You placed said cup on her desk with a breath of satisfaction, tilting you head in questioning at the unusual amount of papers on her desk.

"Arle, did something happen?"

She merely chuckled to herself, her eyes shining with delight. "Ah, why don't you wager a guess?" You were her "subordinate" of sorts, although your true association was far more intimate. You knew of her plans with Fontaine, and helped carry them out. She revered your loyalty, but your warmth far more.

"...Has the hydro gnosis been secured?"

She snapped her fingers in one swift motion, her small smile widening into a true one that played across her ruby lips. "Correct, I'd expect nothing less of someone as capable as my lover."

"Then, Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet..."

"They've done well." It'd be hard to forsake the note of pride in her voice. Setting down the sheets in her gloved hands, she stood from her seat slowly, letting her eyes scan over your body. "You've asked your question, now shall I ask mine? Darling, I did quite well myself, did I not?"

Her expectant gaze read one thing, but instead of the usual quality time spending the two of you'd share, this time, you had rather differing plans. Smiling, you walked up to her, not letting the way her eyes sparkled just the slightest escape your sight. Promptly, sneakily, you flung yourself upon her, beaming as your hands found refuge winding about her torso, nearly instantly trapping her into your death hug. "You did, Arle~!"

"..." At her silence, you glanced up, only to be met with a sight that drew blush upon your own cheeks. Her usually composed, mystery-shroud features were now conflicted with crossing emotions... of what, however, was rather indecipherable. Arlecchino was a person of many masks, yet now it seemed that her "mask" displayed but one thing - love.

"Darling, I... you look perfect in my arms, so shall we stay like this a moment longer?" ₊˚ෆ

"is that so? a trivial matter, is it by law that i must hold you in my arms in order to prove my love for you?"

FURINA's multicolored irises and teardrop pupils twinkled, their shine dancing on the moonlit breeze. A hand daintily held a teacup, its fragrant contents swirling about the porcelain basin. Her laugh accompanied the cool evening wind, and she fluttered her eyes shut in a smile that brightened her expression. "Come now, why so shocked? Wouldn't this be expected from someone as benevolent as I?"

It was a scene that would remain forever painted in your mind, like a beautiful mural that one's eyes could not possibly forsake. The way her mouth tugged upwards and the manner in which her eyes curv-

"Hey, are you even listening to me right now?" A familiar voice tugged you out of your reminiscence of the confrontation months prior. Furina displayed a childish frown on her lips, her partly furrowed eyes sharpening her gaze into a rather particular one.

Oh, lost in thought once more. You let out a soft sigh, nodding sheepishly. "Yes, love, I am.."

"Mhm..." Your words left a no, you clearly aren't!" Furina sat up, her intensifying discontentment apparent on her features. "I said I got you access to front ticket seats to the hottest new court case! You know, the one involving the robbery... the one that's quite literally got the entire Steambird in a chokehold? Yet, you're not excited in the slightest!?" She sounded offended, and she likely was, for her cheeks were flushed the slightest in rash frustration and her narrowed eyes creased at their corners. "Appreciate my efforts, why don't you?"

"Appreciate" indeed.

Ah, but was a sudden, tight embrace overshooting it? For she tensed in your arms, her frame absolutely suspended in your hold, her slack jaw giving the slightest tremor. "Mon amour, just w-what are you-?"

"Come now, Furina, am I not permitted to hug my own lover now?" The jesting in your voice faded as the sarcastic grin on your face formed a smaller, more genuine one. "I'm... ah, I'm okay, if it's with you. I'll be okay."

She paused at your words, contemplation of them flashing in her gaze, and let out a gratified exhale. "Then..." she nearly melted in your embrace, leaning her head into your arms compliantly.

"Don't you dare think I've forgotten about your previous transgression, but... ah, it can be forgiven, can't it, mon amour?" ₊˚ෆ

(a/n) hc hc hc hc furina calls youfrench petnames because french oui oui baguette.. AHEM my sincerest apologies to any french or french speakers...

REBLOGS APPRECIATED!! please consider following me as i amm soosososoo close to a follower goal ive been wanting to reach and itd be crazy if i could reach it before christmas!!!

໒꒱ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open! send an ask or a comment ♡) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader

-> teehee what if yall left a message on my christmas tree 😶😶😶

[tzuberry]

(cute) things zerobaseone maknae line do as your boyfriend ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

pairing shen quanrui (ricky), kim gyuvin, park gunwook, han yujin + gn reader⠀⠀⠀details fluff, established relationship, bulletpoint

cw none ⠀⠀⠀wc 410, 418, 505, 462 (1,795 overall)⠀⠀⠀reading time 7 minutes

note HELLOOOO i havent posted a fic since july 15th and that was my first fic ever on this account omg... thank u for all the notes on my other post LIKE i didnt expect so much + thank you for 90 followers!! also i might start writing for tiot and evnne if i have time 🫡 likes are reblogs are appreciated if u can 💟

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ricky 리키

lets you play with his hair

i think ricky is honestly extremely particular with his hair, and especially who gets to touch it

his hair isn’t very visibly damaged despite getting it dyed frequently / basically not having black hair since he was probably fifteen years old (and he’s nineteen now, so that says something) so he has to take good care of it not to have it fried off

there were stories about him during bopeul where they said they always saw him fully ready with perfectly styled hair whenever he left his room, too

like i’m not even kidding he has to care for his hair a whole lot or by now he could’ve been bald i’m sorry

when his friends—mainly gyuvin—try to play with his hair or comb their fingers through it, ricky allows it but is not that pleased because he put effort into styling his hair and doesn’t want it to get messed up

gyuvin jokingly whines a little, but is over it after a few seconds

when ricky started dating you, although he thoroughly knew you and almost all of your habits and mannerisms, he didn’t think you would be into playing with his hair

you’re hanging out, watching a movie at your apartment while your head is rested on his shoulder when he feels your fingers suddenly brush through the strands of his hair

he turns to look at you, partly shocked but also just wondering what you’re planning on doing to his hair

you shrug your shoulders, keeping your eyes on the tv and not minding him one bit

“what are you doing?” he asks, a little amused

he expects you to reply playfully, to exchange banter or something like that

but instead, you say, “your hair is really soft, you know,” as you proceed to curl a portion with your finger acting as the curling iron

ricky quite literally folded that day... now he lets you do whatever you want with his hair

you can braid it, curl it, whatever

he doesn’t mind as long as it’s you, even if he spent nearly an hour fixing it this morning

you’re in a cafe talking to gyuvin and gunwook, sitting at the other side of the table when you lift your arm to twirl ricky’s hair, him not remotely flinching at the contact

gyuvin is pleasantly surprised to witness this sight

“you don’t let me do that,” he sulks, aimed at ricky

your boyfriend scoffs. “you’re not [name].”

gyuvin 규빈

always texts you + makes sure you’ve eaten

okay i think i’ve seen a lot of people say this already idk but i think it’s soooo true

gyuvin texts you excessively

like. about anything

there was one instance when his little brother had a crush on a girl, and gyuvin literally went to you for help and his brother didn’t even have an inkling of what was happening

gyuvin (DO NOT REPLY): [NAME] MY LITTLE BROTHER... is... growing up :(

gyuvin (DO NOT REPLY): he used to be so small i could put him in my pocket and now

yn: what happened???

gyuvin (DO NOT REPLY): he LIKES A GIRL. who told him it was okay to get a girlfriend? at his toddler age??

yn: gyuvin i love you but we started dating when We were his age

and then he continued to ask you for advice on how to help his brother get the girl he liked

there’s more instances of him oversharing his brother’s life with you, but that ends there

he also buys you snacks all the time

even if you don’t want it. even if you verbally, very clearly, straightforwardly tell him you’re not the tiniest bit hungry

he’s basically your mother oml

he makes those little snack baggies for you to take

before you both graduated, gyuvin would bring you lunch. it didn’t just stop at snacks

he would ask his mom to help him cook for you

and he’d make it all cute and stuff like shaping the rice to be your favorite character

he’d pack it to school and give it to you in the morning. omg

mixing those two things together, you get “have you eaten yet” texts all the time

it’s two pm, and you were so stuck while helping a friend that you regrettably forgot to eat lunch. ‘it’s okay,’ you assure yourself, ‘i had a late breakfast’

gyuvin texts you, asking the usual “have you eaten lunch????” and you lie and say yes

and then your phone rings and you know you can’t avoid it anymore because he can see through your voice when you lie

from the speaker of your phone, gyuvin’s voice is unbelievably attractive—but you choose to ignore that fact for now

“[name],” he deadpans. “be honest. have you eaten?”

choosing to accept defeat, you exhale deeply. “no.”

gyuvin suddenly hangs up and only a text is left on your screen

gyuvin (DO NOT REPLY): i’m coming over in. like 30 minutes i have to ask my mom to help me cook

gunwook 건욱

teaches you how to dance

gunwook is SO good at dancing it’s so crazy

i love watching him on stage because he’s the best performer ever. like he seems to genuinely enjoy it and i hope he never loses that love for dancing / singing / rapping

you on the other hand..... you could be good at dancing too, just definitely not as good as gunwook

so whenever your scheduled dates are interrupted by his extracurriculars at school, you decide to tag along with him, if the members of his clubs don’t mind (which they usually don’t)

one of his extracurriculars is the dance team

and most of the time, when your preplanned dates are cancelled because of an extracurricular he has lined up for him, it is almost always dance

so you end up following him to the practice room, silently watching him in the corner so as to not obstruct their view of the mirror by sitting directly in front of them

his eyes light up with the flame of passion you adore so much, and you’re so content that even if your date is cancelled because of this, you’re not annoyed and you still get to indirectly spend some time with him by spectating him as he does what he likes

in the short breaks that he gets, he takes the opportunity to sit beside you on the floor and ask about your day

when the practice session ends, he asks if it’s okay with you if he stays to polish up the routine, to which you say yes and offer to stay with him because everyone else has started to leave

after a while, he grows tired and plops down next to you

gunwook chuckles. “i’m sorry for cancelling our date and making you stay with me.”

“it’s alright, i like watching you dance.” you smile

he abruptly stiffens up, irises reflecting the light, making his eyes glow excitedly. “do i dance well? what do you think?”

you giggle. “you dance very well. a lot better than i can, for sure.”

“mhm, yeah?” he grins widely, and you know what he’s going to do

gunwook jumps up on his feet, extending his hand out to you to help you get up

“you just need a little help.” he nods proudly. “you’re lucky i’m your boyfriend.”

you take his hand, and he leads you to the center of the room and he starts to dance with you ballroom style (???) like the waltz and stuff

he guides your arms over his shoulder to circle his neck, and his hands rest on your waist and then he starts counting, “4... 3... 2... 1... like this,” as he takes a singular step in different directions, encouraging you to mirror his movements

you almost trip, but you tightly cling on to his shoulders before you can fall

gunwook laughs. “enough dancing for today?”

“yes, please,” you agree, letting your body fall forwards into a hug with him

“alright. if you’re not that tired, are you still up for that date?”

yujin 유진

(tries to) initiate / enjoys physical touch

yujin doesn’t seem like his love language is physical touch.... i know gyuvin does it a lot to him and he kinda pretends to not like it but it’s so endearing and i sooo believe he deep down loves it

it’s the same with you, but he’s the one intiating it

he never thought he liked skinship all that much, because he would even jokingly say it pestered him a little at times when gyuvin would dote on him

but when it came to you, and when you first started dating, he was itching to hold your hand

it was so new to him because he never craved for anyone’s physical affection before

all his older friends like gyuvin and gunwook would always just.... initiate skinship for him and he thought he didn’t like it but

suddenly you come along, and you don’t even try to hold his hand

he thought couples were supposed to hold hands?? and hug??

but you’re not budging and it’s so frustrating

while walking you home from school like usual, as you tell him about your day, he tries to gather the courage to intertwine your hands

it doesn’t work, and he’s left with cold hands as he stares at you enter your front door

“next time,” he whispers to no one but the wind

next time comes and still... he’s too nervous to hold your hand

the distance between your palms is less than four inches, and all he has to do is take the leap—besides, nothing could go that wrong. you like him and he likes you

he purposely bumps the back of his hand with yours, but doesn’t actually take your hand in his

he awkwardly rubs his nape, unsure of what to do now

your brows knit together, as you’re now aware of yujin’s weird behavior

“yujin?” you tug on his uniform sleeve. “is something wrong?”

“no! nothing’s wrong,” he quickly denies, “don’t worry about it.”

“okay... can i see your hand, though?” you request, and it successfully confuses him because why do you want to see his hand?

he obliges, giving it to you palm up when you lace your fingers with his

“i’ve noticed you trying to hold my hand since last week,” you say, giggling. “i was waiting for you to do it, but i guess you’re too shy.”

“i’m not that shy,” yujin defends, looking down at your interlocked hands... ‘this is a good feeling,’ he thinks

you nod passively. “it’s fine. it’s one of the reasons why i like you.” you swing both your hands back and forth in the space between you

yujin doesn’t try to retort, only relishing the feeling of your hand in his

skinship isn’t so bad... maybe he could get used to this.

[devnmon]

on account of attention

astarion x gn!reader

summary: all you want is Astarion's attention, and you'd do anything to get it.

warnings: handjob, lil bit of subby star, reading while being touched, teasing

wc: 2k

a/n: this is part 1 to a 2 part ficlet thingy but i havent even came up with a concept for the second part but i loved this idea that came to me in a dream and figured i would make it a reality. i also love the idea of having to read aloud while being touched tehe. hope u enjoy reading this xx

There’s no reason for you to be this turned on. Then again, there’s absolutely no reason for him to look like he does. Especially not with his nose stuck in a book, silver swirls adorning his head, all alluring, and those eyes peeking over at you from time to time. 

“You’re staring again.” Astarion breaks the silence for the first time in an hour. 

“Can’t help it, Star. You’re too pretty.��� 

He scoffs, “Darling, I know I’m beautiful. But don’t you have other things to be up to?” 

You blink up at him, doe eyes sparkling in his presence, “Like what? Can’t I just admire you in the moonlight?” 

Astarion knew you adored him; hell, he had to stop you from offering up your neck to him every time after battle because you’d have ended up passing out from blood loss. He’d just recently fed, it just so happened to be, ultra focused on the content of his pages. Astarion couldn’t give in to your antics, because they always escalated and he always got carried away. 

He’s genuinely minding his business and you’re curled up next to him, soaking in his everything. He was an art piece with silver hair that shone and eyes like rubies, lightly glimmering in the darkness. Like a true star did. The fact that you couldn’t take your eyes off his slender fingers– and when his arms bulged under the cloth of his shirt– was entirely his fault. You couldn’t not admire his beauty. He was truly the most ethereal being you’d ever met. To call him yours– that was a trophy in itself. 

With every turn of his pages, you felt the heat in your core intensify. The vampire’s soft breaths were the only thing you could hear, fully tuned into him in the present moment. Nothing else occupied the space in your mind except him. 

Astarion was sat back, relaxed with his book lifted in his palms. It would be so easy to reach over and touch him, tease him, pull him away from his precious reading to bless his lips with yours. The palms of your hands twitched with anticipation and desire, calling to him from inside your body. 

You dared to press your luck tonight. 

His toned stomach peeked out from the unbuttoned shirt, rising and falling with each breath. Your sly, yet eager hand inched towards him, along with your body. There was no chance Astarion didn’t pick up on your quickened heartbeat, or the pheromones emanating from your skin. Either he truly was not paying attention, or he was playing dumb. As one snarky vampire had done many a time before. 

He clearly does not mind when you crawl up next to him, nuzzling into his side. Your arm wraps around his torso, the slightest bit of your skin touching. 

You want more, you need more, and you want to see if he’ll say anything. He relishes in your contact and finds himself tempted to move closer into you. Then again, he is quite perceptive, and knows if he inches closer to you at all, it’s over for him. 

“You’re all warm. Feels so nice.” you mumble. 

Astarion sighs, “Thank the blood of the boar I drained an hour ago.” 

You kiss his neck, still feeling that same warmth under your lips. 

“Thank you, blood. For warming my Star up.” He chuckles a bit, but the pink twinge in his cheeks gives away how he really feels. A couple minutes of silence pass, and you wrap your other arm around him, letting your hand trail across his stomach torturously. Slowly letting your nails drag across his skin lightly, catching the breath he’s inhaled while you did so. 

Astarion only blamed himself for over indulging on his meal, because the second you settle into his touch again, he’s already feeling the effects of his actions begin to protrude. Though he had a knack for remaining calm, the flush of his cheeks and heat began to spread down his lower half. In fact, the pages of his book become more fascinating in that moment, sticking his nose even further into it. Somehow you could tell that movement of his was a surefire sign your touches had flipped a switch inside him. 

Your eyes like headlights, shining innocently in his direction. Waiting patiently for him to grow tired of the ancient pages and turn to you. Desiring the inch of attention he gave that book, when you always took a mile. One he gives you nine times out of ten, but one mile nonetheless. Sometimes you grow tired of playing the long game when your mind is focused on the one thing you want: him. 

While you believe he’s distracted fully by the book, you move one hand down his stomach, fingertips rubbing the waistband of his pants. His eyes don’t budge, which falsifies you into thinking you’ve gotten away with your scheme. That is, until his skilled hand wraps around your wrist. 

“We ask before we touch, darling.” You whine, feeling the heat between you both start to become overwhelming. He places your hand back by his side; thinking you’ll truly halt your antics was a fool’s game. You always got what you wanted, him being the main cause of that. 

“Darling, it’s very hard to focus when your hands seem to go wherever they may please. And you’re not very good at listening…” 

His lowered tone of voice is enough to make you blush. You huff a breath, pouting the slightest bit. He still doesn’t move his eyes, but he’s fully aware of what you’re doing. Once again, you run your hands over his chest, noting every goosebump arising on his skin. It’s not like he doesn’t want you– no, anything but that. It’s just that you knew what you were doing to him. Once you start touching him like that, especially after he’s fed, it’s very hard for him to stay composed. 

When you touch him softly– the way you know he likes– oh gods you’re doing it now… it completely snaps him from focus. 

Astarion can’t help but sigh again when he notes his pants tightening from your touches. Your hands haven’t even left his chest but his whole body is aflame. 

“I’d really like to keep reading this– love… hhng..” 

“Then keep reading,” you reply, “I’ve heard that reading aloud is good for staying focused too. Why don’t you try it?” 

Astarion scoffs, the moment lingering until he realizes you’re very, very serious. That’s the moment his eyes finally pull to you. Rubies shining once you’re in his field of view.

Finally. 

There’s nothing in this moment that could mask the way you’re making him feel, and the tightness of his pants is enough of an indication. You smirk at him, hands inching closer to where he truly needs them. 

“Thank you, blood, for warming my Starion right up.” you mutter, keeping a tone that makes him shiver. 

“Fuck…” he mutters under his breath, before turning back to the book and feeling your greedy hands claim their prize. The leather of his pants is pulled down, revealing his swollen length to the cool night air. Even with that, he still felt a beaming heat in his chest, spreading throughout the rest of his body. When you finally get your hands on him, it takes everything in him to not drop his book. 

“Go on, read.” 

Astarion begins, reading a sentence aloud as your hands grasp him fully. 

“A-And comfort found… in comrade’s arms and bed… hhng– She… oh gods, licks her lips and cries h-his name… oh my…” 

Those eyes dart over to you, noting you’ve licked your lips in tune with his reading. 

“Beautiful,” you state, unaware of the disarray you’re making of him. Your hands find their motion up and down his hardness, ghosting over his tip when he twitches in your hands. 

“H-How does a stranger know… such things, I ask…” Astarion swallows thickly, unknowing of how long he’ll last at this rate. “Hah…” 

He’s throbbing in your hand, warm and struggling to stay composed. One of your fingers drags up and down the side of him, enjoying how he shudders under your touch. His eyes squeeze shut, head tipping backwards towards the sky. Little breathy sounds spilling from his lips, movements both steadying his mind and pulling it off track. Then your movements slow, and his eyes dart open, turning towards you. 

“I don’t hear reading…” you tease, threatening to stop before he ascends to another plane of being in this moment with you. He pouts, the needy side of him making a rare appearance. But you give him that look through hooded eyes, and he turns back to the pages. 

With a breath, he continues, “I… watch you from the sh-shadows and see…” 

You begin moving again, reaching down below his length to cup him and truly send him exploding far earlier than you’d expect. 

“And see… mmh– your shame and… grief for nature’s malady.” The words are shoved from his lips before a rather boisterous moan escapes him. 

“Finish the passage, my love. And then I’ll let you finish.” 

He bites his lower lip, looking at you again. Your hands move smoothly, up and down each inch of him, slick from the arousal that’s leaked from him. Astarion clenches his thighs together. 

“You seek to win… nnh– the lady a-and her bed… To h-have your– uuhh, name upon her lips instead– fuck…” 

You smile at him again, movements at a steady pace, and you know he’s teetering on the edge. Once his hips start to thrust upwards, stuttering under your hands, he’s almost done for. 

“Darling, I’m… not going to last much longer. Shit…” His head is thrown backwards once more, breathing heavily in all his glory. 

“Astarion, do you truly wish for your name to be upon my lips like your filthy little book suggests?” 

He’s dumbfounded by your question; it’s all he’s ever desired since realizing he loved you. How could he not? For you to make him a mess this easily, push his buttons and make him squeal in pleasure, you’d have to be so far embedded in his soul to overpower him the way you do. 

His book falls a split second after you ask him. 

“Yes, it’s all I want, love…” 

“Then come for me.” you whisper against his ear, warm breath against his skin. His eyes lock on yours, never wavering and without shame. Astarion knows you’ve got him wrapped around your little finger, and he’s grateful for moments like these because of it. 

The pathetic noise he lets out truly fills him with a different kind of appreciation and need. His hips stutter consistently while his spend coats your hand. The warmth of him is welcomed by you, shaky breaths steadying as Astarion rides out his high. When his breathing finally steadies, he reaches a hand out to cup your cheek, flustered and appreciative. 

“Thank you, my sweet.” Astarion leans in and presses his lips to yours, filled with devotion and warmth and love. He knows how much space he takes up in your heart and relishes in these moments the two of you share, unlike no other type of bond he’s ever had in his life. 

“Just wanted to make you feel good. I love you.”

“I love you more, if that’s even possible. You always know how to distract me. Always pulling me away from any focus I can manage. Especially when your gorgeous self taunts my very mind on the daily.” 

“Anything to see you like this for me, my heart.” Your hand cups his cheek and caresses his flushed skin with your thumb. 

“Thank you for that, truly. But…” and then his voice lowers, “You’re going to wish you never pulled me from that book.” 

Your eyes widened, watching Astarion tuck himself back into his pants and go back to his reading as if nothing ever happened. His tone of voice was mischievous, suggestive and ran a chill down your spine. You knew what was coming to you, unbeknownst of when; it was only a matter of time before you found yourself helpless at the hands of your vampire companion. And you couldn’t wait.

[h2bakugou]

hello hello, old friends, fans and readers!

god its been AGES. hi im alive ish-we’ll touch on that in a minute, but hi!

i miss writing so much, so much has happened, and i wish i could say im coming back, but i truly dont see a future for this blog, as much as it means the world to me, it wouldnt feel right coming back when i havent watched mha in years.

for starters, i wanna say thank you for the continued love and appreciation of my works, i know they’re not the best, but they’re what i considered some of my best work, for the time being lol. im 21 now, and its crazy to think about how long ago it really feels to look back at this stuff. i still love writing, i still love to read, i havent written anything worth posting in my opinion but if i do, this blog will be the first to know about it!

onto the health side of things, tw for cancer

i was diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkin’s lymphoma around the end of 2023, and have been undergoing chemotherapy for the past few months. my last scheduled treatment is the beginning of april but things are looking good. im hoping to make a decent recovery or at least have hair by the end of this year. i truly truly want to write again when im done with chemo. i keep telling myself i need to write again, work has kicked back into full gear after taking three months off, which i thought would’ve been the perfect time to stage some sort of writing come back, but life has been so utterly utterly busy. i hate that even with every fibre of my being, most of my ideas trickle down and out of my brain before i can even write them down on a piece of paper or a sticky note.

i miss the connection that writing brought me with like-minded readers and artists, and enjoyers. i miss the bliss of publishing something that felt ready to be published. i miss it all, and im so so so looking forward to that breath of fresh air again when i can calm down and write something that truly feels worth reading. and again, i want all of you to be the first to know about it.

i sound a little silly im sure, i havent posted in ages, and i know this account lays dormant for the most part but i still think about it all the time. this account is truly something special and i hope it is for someone else out there too.

no matter what you face, or what you’re going through, you’re not alone. you are loved. take care of yourselves!!

i shall be plotting a return of some kind, for now one battle at a time, oh yeah and fuck cancer.

[0w0tsuki]

what a great thing to come back to after having my dental extractions. a "Euro American" accusing me of white woman tears. Saying i hate all intersex people and think that they're all terfs becuase i *checks note* pointed out the obviousness that 3 accounts that sprouted up overnight that were all doing "PERISEX AFAB transfeminism" were an obvious pysop while including the fact that one of these blogs was straight up editing her timestamps to make it seem like here blog had been around since 3 months before the discourse had popped up even though there are people who check the transmisogyny tag daily and would have seen her before it that was the case. Also with the accusations of being chronically online because you know i havent been told to "go out and touch grass' by dispassionate assholes who don't understand the harresment ive been subjected to for so much as walking 15 minutes to by groceries enough

[chellestrash]

okay okay fuck you’ve told me about camboy!frank and now i literally CANNOT get the sight of it out of my head fuck

like the idea of you just schooling through the websites until you stumble across him and once you click open the stream, he’s sitting there on the couch with his thighs spread open. they’re thick and you can see a few scars on his hip. the angle shows his mouth down, and you can see the bit of stubble lining his jaw. his hand is wrapped around his cock and he’s slowly touching himself, thumb rubbing over his head when he sees your donation come in GAAAAAAH

michelle i literally am losing my fucking mind at this i can’t i can’t we have GOT to talk about this more fuck

Oh well you‘re welcomeeee!

FRANK CASTLE SMUT BELOW

YEP! Okay yeah exactly, i see it like that you just stumble across his livestream one day, you watch him toch himself for a bit, notice his pretty thighs his big hands his cock, you check the username, “the big bad punisher”, is it a bit weird, yeah but you don’t mind. (Maybe in this scenario frank doesn’t kill people as a hobby.) You enjoy what you see but it’s nothing you havent seen before you know? So after a bit, you decide to leave the livestream. But before you do, you get to hear it, you see the donation come in with a little message, you hear his raspy chuckle and then his voice as he reads the message a deep “Thank you for that sweetheart.” at the end and you feel your your stomach do a fucking backflip. You never closed a tab on your computer faster before. You shut your laptop and sit there in silence, eyes wide as his voice, the words replay in your head over and over again. You try to just not think about it and focus on other things as days go by but it’s just impossible. You can’t get his voice out of your head, you can’t help it, you want to hear him again.

So, after sitting in front of your computer for good 15 minutes you pull the site up and log into your account, you scroll for s bit and just as you’re about to just search his username up you recognize the frame in one of the livestreams. You join quickly and shove your headphones in. It’s a good moment, you can tell he’s getting close now, the little grunts and means only add onto your need to hear his voice again. So as you watch his hand work over his cock, watch his body tensing us slowly his chest starting to move faster and faster, you quickly grab your card, typing the details in as fast as you possibly can. You add a little message, something you piece together as you try to focus on something that’s not his cock on the screen of your computer. You hear the alert go off as your message show up on the screen and you almost whine out loud at the sound of his voice.

“This should be more but I need to get dinner still.”

He read the message and scoffs loudly, his hand pausing for a moment as his laugh rings in your ears.

“Shit, thank you sweetheart, dont want you spending money on me and then going hungry.”

He squeezes his cock before he begins to move his hand again and you feel almost embarrassed for how hard you reacted to that.

“You get yourself something good after, yeah?”

You feel your blood rush between your legs as he continues to talk. Some of the words get cut off by the grunts but you really don’t fucking mind.

“Come back tomorrow, tell me if you liked it.”

He mumbles under his breath as the precum starts to drip down his cock. You can’t tell if he means the food still or is he asking you to let him know if you like to watch him like this but nod, you nod at the screen quickly realizing what yiu just did but you really don’t care at the moment. You push your hand under the waistband in your pants before slipping it into your underwear. You touch yourself, quickly getting close and his voice, reading another donation, pushes you over the edge. You shut your laptop the second you realize what you did but you know, you know you’ll log back tomorrow.

…well that’s about it for the backstory c:

but I have more ideaaaas

I also, I KNOW I saw a post about Camboy!frank on here a while ago and I looked for it but I can’t fucking find it, anyway… yeah that’s just what’s been on my mind lately

[merlins-mushrooms]

.

[uwua3]

Hello! Sunflowers hold a really special meaning for me so when i read the "sunflower dreams" My heart was so happy!! I havent felt this happy in a long time since quarantine started so thank you for taking the time to write it! It really made my day. If i could request a kazunari x reader where they're both artists that would be amazing. Maybe the reader can be a famous anonymous art influencer? Its up to you! Again thank you so much for writing "sunflower dreams" 💜

i’m so happy i could make you smile ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) it’s messages like these that absolutely make my day! thank you so much for taking your time to even read it, i’m glad to know it touched your heart ♡ i hope you have a good rest of your day—please know all of a3! love you vvv much!!! ｀･ω･)9 i hope this makes your heart happy just like before! thank you, anon, for everything

summary: every time you fell in love, you made a new art piece

author’s note: please smile from this absolutely soft and endearing kazunari fluff! in times like these where negativity is all around us, it’s good to take a break and purposely give yourself happiness. i hope this is a light in your day and makes you experience all the goodness of love! ♡ — concept based on “to all the boys i’ve loved before”

word count: 3,389

music: i like me better – lauv

to everyone i’ve loved before.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

you created art every time you had a crush so intense, you didn’t know what else to do

no matter how big or small it was, or how long or short it lasted, love is love. even if it was a random stranger you’d never see again or someone you knew for a lifetime, love is love

therefore, there was no exact total. because even if you didn’t remember every single person you’ve made art for, you clearly remembered what it was like experiencing the euphoria of love. the phenomenon of your heart selflessly beating for someone else. the attack of getting hit by cupid’s arrow out of no where. the rush of emotions unlike any other

love was everywhere and you made sure to create something that was a memory of it. that was when you decided to practice art after being unable to recall a person’s face a moment too long

it was your form of a love letter. a picture spoke a thousand words you couldn’t write, and art was the perfect way to convey that. online for everyone to see were your love letters in art form: portraits of everyone you’ve loved

you fell in love again and again, a new art piece posted soon over the years of your life. under the username, to-everyone-ive-loved, a lifelong project was in the works for all of social media to see

unknown to the rest of the world, you were the artist behind the blog “to-everyone-ive-loved” who created portraits from memory

but, you didn’t mean to fall in love with another artist as well

all it took was one comment and you were theirs

it was one of your most recent posts, a finished piece on a stranger you saw. you found yourself in veludo way, the ideal street to find people you’d never forget. after witnessing a sudden street act, only one actor caught your eye that day

you didn’t know his name, but you didn’t need to. you were in love

you immediately rushed home without a second thought, the inspiration and creativity infectious after watching him perform. something about his energy was wildly entertaining and bizarre, like a modern pop song as a person. he was effortlessly trendy, popular, and charismatic just from the few minutes you saw him

the moment he stood up on that street corner like it was a stage, all eyes were on him and he knew it. as you sketched into the day, you remembered the small details clearly. dirty blonde hair with no dark roots in sight, glittering green eyes, wide welcoming smile. he had the face of an actor, that’s for sure

when you posted it right after finishing, you didn’t expect any major attention. on average, your posts got 100 likes or so. while it was an impressive feat, nothing could’ve prepared you for that one comment

kaz-PIKO: i’m in love with your art ♡

as your popularity and fame grew before your very eyes, you clicked on his profile and realized it was him. the actor you had seen earlier at veludo way

you didn’t know what happened, but all you knew was you couldn’t forget this one person, miyoshi kazunari, no matter how hard you tried

no matter where you went, you couldn’t draw anyone else except that boy named kazunari. after scrolling through his entire instablam account, you found out he was an actor for mankai company’s summer troupe. he was a star in his own right, with a stage presence like the spotlight was constantly on him and a heart of gold

this was the first time you ever got so caught up on someone that they didn’t leave your mind. hours became days, and days began becoming a week before you let yourself follow him back

everyone you had ever drawn had never recognized themselves before. it was all because a follower connected the visual similarities between your art and kazunari’s unique traits that kazunari knew you had seen him before

if only he wasn’t a social media influencer with followers reaching the hundreds of thousands. at least, his popularity attracted attention to your profile...

this was a problem, however. because if you couldn’t draw anyone else, what could you do? once again, you stalked kazunari’s blog once again like it was a habit

it was never really a rule to make one love letter per person, but you never had wanted to make another for the same person. until, now

video after video. picture after picture. story after story. you could see kazunari’s face even when you closed your eyes. what about him made you daydream about him constantly? was it his charming voice that could make anyone stop and stare? his intricate piercings that were different every day? his ability to make you feel at home? whatever it was (or maybe it was an accumulation of everything and more), you had to draw kazunari again

when you posted it, you typically didn’t add more to the caption than the date and time. except this time, you felt like all your rules were being broken over someone who had no idea who you were

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 A.M.) — social butterfly

you watched it upload. it was a piece you had never done before. glowing butterflies of all colors surrounded the center of the masterpiece, a smiling kazunari

hopefully, this would solve whatever feelings you were having and the world would go back to normal. you’d move on, fall in love with someone else, and repeat

it didn’t work, because some time later, you woke up to a comment that made you feel the butterflies in your stomach

kaz-PIKO: like a butterfly, i’ll fly to you, wherever you are~ ☆

and for some reason, you wanted kazunari to find you

you had never felt so motivated to draw before. however, your muse was the same. a beautiful boy named miyoshi kazunari who was slowly capturing your heart without even knowing it. you watched the pages in your sketchbook lessen and lessen. the corners of assignments and napkins and anything in between was covered in doodles. if there was a writing instrument in your hand, something related to kazunari would come out of it

it was a fascination. a fixiation, even. you had only seen one performance before falling in love. was it because kazunari responded that it made you feel like you had a chance?

you wouldn’t admit it, but it was becoming embarrassing with how much you were staring at the few unread messages from kazunari in your dm box. they came in right after you had followed him back, and more arrived when you posted the “social butterfly” piece

what was stopping you from talking to your muse? you knew the answer without thinking: what if these feelings were real?

obsessions and crushes come and go, but... love, love stayed. there wasn’t any possibility you could love someone from afar without knowing anything about them, right?

but, then again... you did know some things about kazunari. you knew kazunari was the best actor of all time, with expressions and gestures the equivalent of art. kazunari was art—in every single way possible. everything about him made you want to draw and draw and draw

you only drew kazunari for a certain time, no matter which stranger crossed your path. people you knew you would’ve sketched simply became passer-bys, and it was all because of kazunari’s sunny smile that you were in love. or, what you thought was love

the more you thought about kazunari’s unread dms, the more you wondered what this was. why did kazunari make you so happy? was this truly the first time you were experiencing... a crush?!

for the first time since that street act, you found yourself in veludo way. while half of you was hoping you’d randomly bump into summer troupe’s moodmaker, the other half was petrified about how kazunari was a real person. a very much popular, recognizable person

it was the weekend, and the burden of university projects was telling you to go back and focus. yet, with a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil tucked behind your ear, you were very much prepared to draw to your heart’s content

as you tried to flip to a clean page, you heard something that made your heart flutter. despite the noise and busy atmosphere of veludo, a distinct laugh was audible above the crowd. when you looked up, your eyes barely registered a deep blue jacket before walking straight into the person

you nearly tumbled to the ground before two hands steadied you, a surprised “whoa!” leaving their mouth before being followed by a gentle laugh. the usual embarrassment didn’t set in until you went to go thank the person, only to stop

oh my god. you had just bumped into miyoshi kazunari, your muse for the past month or so

kazunari grinned, even though it faltered slightly at your wide-eyed expression and awkward silence. he didn’t seem to mind as he adjusted his black top hat, pocketing his phone and confidently meeting your gaze

“i’m so sorry~! i hope you’re okay, i’m kazunari!” kazunari introduced and you realized he didn’t know you were behind to-everyone-ive-loved-before. you quickly adjusted yourself, pretending as if this wasn’t the highlight of your entire week

when you introduced yourself, kazunari’s eyes sparkled with interest as he easily led you into conversation. despite being a bit of a socially awkward artist who preferred being alone over anything else, kazunari was... comfortable. you didn’t feel self-conscious of how you acted, because he readily accepted how you were with a smile

was he like this was everyone or... did he find you to be a work of art, too?

standing off to the side, you finally noticed several members of mankai were advertising their latest play. bright, aesthetically pleasing flyers were being handed out to everyone walking by, and you seemed to look a moment too long before kazunari followed your gaze and suddenly snapped his fingers

“oh! are you interested in theatre?” you really weren’t, but you nodded anyways just to see kazunari’s excitement. he pardoned himself for a moment just to snatch a flyer, returning to show it off with a proud smile

“please come to mankai company’s summer performance!” kazunari’s smile sparkled and before he looked around to see if anyone was watching, he winked. kazunari covered the side of his face that was facing his troupe members, pretending as if you two were sharing some big secret

“plus, i’ll be there. if you come, i’ll make sure to do my very best~” kazunari bargained, even though you already knew he was already planning on wowing the audience with his charisma. you took in his genuine want to impress you and the butterflies came back

“i’ll come.” you agreed without even checking the date or reading anything. now all of you just wanted more & more opportunities as the person kazunari was surprisingly interested in, not as the artist who was basically in love with him

agreeing right away was worth it when kazunari shot you a grateful, blinding smile in return. you stumbled over your words with how taken back you were, but asked anyways, “do you like flowers?”

kazunari’s eyes softened for a moment, his usual energy suddenly gone before returning. he seemed genuinely moved by your question, and you wondered how many flowers it’d take to see him smile again like that

“i do, especially if they’re from you.”

“what kind?”

someone called kazunari’s name, insisting they were going to be late for practice. kazunari shouted back an agreement by telling them to go ahead first, before putting all his attention on you once again

“hibiscus.” meaning delicate beauty

before kazunari could ask for your socials, with his hand already reaching for his phone, you cut him off, hoping your voice wasn’t off

“next week. 7 P.M., mankai theatre. i’ll be there, front row.” you promised and took off, rushing off with a wave as kazunari stared after you for a second before waving back enthusiastically

as you left, kazunari was about to leave before he noticed something on the ground. it was a plain sketchbook, unassuming at first but it was nearly bursting at the binding with how many pages there were

when kazunari picked it up, he was about to flip to the first page before mankai called his name again, impatient this time. kazunari held onto the book and sent one last glance towards your direction before disappearing, hurrying to make sure the director wouldn’t penalize him for being the reason everyone was late

when you arrived home, you instinctually reached for the pencil behind your ear. at the same time, you put your hand in your bag, attempting to feel the familiar edges of your sketchbook

then, after turning your bag inside out and finding nothing, you collapsed onto your desk chair with shock and disbelief

you lost your sketchbook in veludo way the moment you met kazunari. what if he had it?

you drew another piece and stared at your screen, wondering if you should post it. it was kazunari once again with a yellow hibiscus flower behind his ear, the same gentle smile you couldn’t perfectly capture gracing his lips

you typed the caption and backspaced before settling on something that only you and him would know

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (8:01 P.M.) — delicate beauty

you hesitated before deleting the post a second after. maybe, you’d keep some artwork to yourself

kazunari had the sketchbook open next to his bedside, his phone in his hands and your profile open. he could recognize your art style a mile away, and the moment he saw the first sketch after practice, he couldn’t believe it

did this explain why he felt such a natural attraction to you? when you bumped into him, kazunari swore he could see the sparks flying. you made him feel like he was falling in love and you only proved him right when you two talked earlier. he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to see you again

was this what love at first sight felt like? kazunari giddily typed a message over and over again, the unread messages of his filling his screen

kaz-PIKO: heya!! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆ just wanted to say i LOVE your art fr!!! we should totes collab, you know???

kaz-PIKO: thanks for drawing me btw :0 does this mean you live near veludo? let’s meet up!!!

kaz-PIKO: ,,, i don’t usually say this but, that social butterfly piece was breathtaking. you must really like me, huh? (･ω<)☆ jk haha

kaz-PIKO: no but really, it’s beautiful. thank you, honestly. it made my day, you make me happy ♡

kaz-PIKO: you must be really beautiful, too. i would want to draw you as well. lmk if ur up for that haha

kazunari read back his previous messages, all of them delivered but unopened. he realized how... how open he already was with the anonymous faceless artist, despite never interacting with them

now that he knew what you looked like, it only reassured his intuition that he was rightfully head over heels for you

kazunari typed something before deleting it, closing out of instablam and throwing his phone somewhere on his bed

kaz-PIKO: i was right, you are beautiful. i may have fallen in love, too

some things were better left unsaid. after all, you two had until next week to figure everything out

for the rest of the week, all you and kazunari did were think about the other person. a small part of you was afraid kazunari wasn’t the dream boy you imagined, but he was much more. you noticed he started posting more often and turned his notifications, wanting to be one of the first to see his practice videos and university selfies

you didn’t post any of the art you made of kazunari, making it the longest you hadn’t posted ever. kazunari couldn’t help but refresh your account every now and then, hoping he’d see his face again, as selfish as it was. kazunari wouldn’t know how’d he feel if he saw someone else had your heart

the longer time went on, the more you were certain. every fascination you had with someone was temporary, and you remembered the feeling rather than the person. but, with kazunari, you liked him for who he was. everything kazunari made you feel was new and exciting, but even when that went away, you still liked him

kazunari was your first crush, for real

kazunari liked making people like him. so, your online confession through art wasn’t exactly a surprise. but, yours was different. it was earnest, honest, and everything he didn’t know he was needing

kazunari looked through your sketchbook again and again, tracing over the notes you wrote in the margins and admiring your skill

kazunari liked you, and he was certain he would’ve still liked you even if you weren’t to-everyone-ive-loved-before

when showtime arrived, kazunari was oddly nervous. peeking from behind the red curtain, kazunari could already see you were one of the first sitting front row, just like you said. he had practiced his lines a thousand times and summer was fully prepared, why was he nervous?

before he went on, kazunari ignored the urgency of the mankai staff and quickly texted a message to your profile, hoping you’d at least see the notification this time

kaz-PIKO: i like you, too

(when you felt your phone buzz, you quickly silenced it)

the show moved you to a standing ovation, just like everyone else in the audience. as summer walked out to bow and express their gratitude, you watched kazunari’s eyes search for yours as he tilted his head towards backstage. you nodded, knowing you’d do anything to see this kazunari. actor kazunari, who was on cloud 9 with his performance and glowing from praise

you wanted to see, to experience, to draw, all versions of kazunari

after the applause, you looked around backstage before feeling a hand on your arm, the feeling reminiscent of the first time you bumped into kazunari

“you came.” kazunari breathlessly stated, as if he was surprised. before he could say anything else, you presented him with a bouquet of hibiscus flowers. the same shade of yellow you drew him with

“of course, i wanted to see you again.” you honestly admitted, knowing it made you flustered. kazunari carefully took the flowers before grinning, gently placing then beneath his chin. he looked like a vision, you wish you could’ve asked him to stand still so you could capture this moment forever

“i wanted to see you, too.” kazunari softly said, all the energy of being on stage gone. it was tranquil and peaceful, like you two were the only people in the entire theatre

kazunari took a moment to admire you before realizing something, taking something from behind him and presenting it to you. it was your sketchbook on the bottom, but a smaller version was on top of it, signed in silver sharpie. kazunari’s signature was glittering like his eyes as you took it

“next time, let’s draw together.”

kazunari’s sketchbook was filled with you. anything from small doodles to encouraging messages was found inside, with tens of post-it notes of just thoughts about you. kazunari’s art was colorful and extremely out of the box compared to his usual traditional style. it made you smile

kazunari watched you flip through it, already knowing this was the greatest act of love he could’ve declared this early on. he anticipated for you to reach the end

when you landed on the last page, you saw a note

do you want go on a date with me?

“next time, respond to my dms! that way i don’t have to write everything~!” kazunari teased and you two shared a laugh, knowing everything was going to be okay

“yes.”

“yes...?”

“yes, i’ll respond to your dms. and yes, i’ll go on a date with you.”

eventually, you ended up closing your blog for good. your last post was a picture of you and kazunari, with one caption

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 P.M.) — to the one boy i love now, i love you

kaz-PIKO: i love you, too ♡

[batfamtv]

kaiju shifter au

kaiju shifter au; godzilla and the other kaijus can shift into humans

Since no one is writing it, i’m going to lol

Tw: kaijus, BFG (big freaking godzilla)

Imagine godzilla and the other kaijus being able to shift into humans

There’s got to be a time when i can map out some pseudoarchaeology about an ancient race of shifters, who can shift back and forth from being human to predators

Like, the group of modern humans, the ones who can’t shift, is due to some group of people who decided to move away from hollow earth and eventually found their way up to the surface (see founder effect)

While the rest of the shifters in hollow earth do not see the point of shifting back, and are now incapable of shifting back to human form; that or some shifter was born unable to become human and reproductive fitness is higher when one is a kaiju (being in human form is more dangerous and is not being selected for after generations)

Anyway after years and years of evolution, we are in the monsterverse

And godzilla and the other kaijus have re-discovered, or rather, independently evolved being able to shift back into humans

Godzilla would be so handsome im gonna cry lmao

Imagine you’re just some villager living by the ocean, so connected to it that you already knew how to swim long before you could talk

And one day you see these huge spikes far far away, almost to the horizon

Not scared at all, you decided to go out for a swim anyway--you didn’t approach it--but you didn’t get out of the water either

So you’re there, just floating away, enjoying the sound of the waves crashing, the saltiness of the water, the heat of the sun

And later this dude just bumped into you out of nowhere

“...” you didnt freak out, just looked at him

“Hi” you say

He stares back and says hi back

And that’s how you met Gojira

He hadnt expected you to just gesture towards the shore, where you see your parents outside your cottage, preparing your lunch

“Let’s go, it’s almost lunchtime”

Gojira, almost hesitantly, asks you what you eat--poor guy doesn’t know what these...humans? (that’s what they are right? Tiny, puny humans)...eat

He only eats food he finds in the waters

You just shrugged “i dunno, fish maybe? We’ve been trying to find female crabs recently, but to no luck”

Gojira just nods as he processed what you said, thankfully you guys were eating the same things he does

He said “you can go on ahead, i’ll catch up” and dives into the water underneath you

Confused but hungry, you took his word for it and swam to the shore, letting your parents know that you met this guy called gojira, he said he’ll catch up

Your parents are a little wary, they dont know anyone with that name, but they were also unbelievably kind and generous

And it didnt hurt when gojira emerged from the sea a couple of minutes later, carrying an armful of crabs

Female crabs! You took some from gojira, trying not to get pinched by the crabs’ big claws

You all had an awesome lunch! And your parents are really amused by this gojira kid you met, just a quiet kid who really enjoys cooked crab meat

He has never eaten cooked crab meat before, it was one of the best things he’s ever tasted!

After lunch you asked gojira to come with you back into the waters, this time you wanted to get hunt for some pearls maybe or even just clean out the ocean a little

You see lots of plastics being drifted deep into the waters, and you hated it

When you were so far away from the shore, in open waters, he shifted back into a kaiju! You were shocked at first but then fascination became the more dominant feeling

You touch his big face, scaly! And you go for long swims!

When you get tired you just get on top of gojira’s back, or even on top of his head, and he just breaches the water so you can breathe!

gojira he comes by from time to time! He always brings food and your parents love him for it!

You become really close to him, becoming best friends!

Until maybe like one day, you see these people, foreigners, come to your little village by the sea

You didnt know they were there until you saw your parents’ waving at you from the shore, gesturing for you to come ashore

You do and they introduce you to this group of scientists

They said they came here because there have been eyewitness accounts of a giant “marine organism”

And based on their radiological maps, there has been a huge surge of radiation in this area

When you approached the scientists, the thing on their hands started beeping rapidly

They all looked at you confused

Asking you why you were radioactive? And you shrugged, you said you’re fine, you havent been exposed to any radioactive materials

“Except gojira, i think” you said

And the scientists lost their freakin marbles

Like what??? You talk to godzilla?? Gojira??

And you were lke yea? We go out for a swim almost everyday!

That’s how dr serizawa and monarch came to find a villager who has a bond with gojira

A radioactive human under the kaiju’s protection

pls... i love binggg. monsters.

send me a message! (barry allen voice) i need friends

[pinkjeanist]

“just take care of yourself.” || fatgum

     ⇥     After his doctor tells Taishiro to slow his eating for his health, you start to sit with him while he eats. Talking becomes a good way to distract him, but it soon becomes his path to healing- and surprisingly, it does for you, too. [1.5k words]

a/n: this one has a lot of feelings. i just really love him. i also think it’s wild how this is the second fic i’ve written today. wack. this is another fic to add to the lofi collection, which i havent done much for recently, so it’s nice to get back to that!! [navigation] [just take care of yourself]

A lot of people didn’t realize just how much Taishiro had to eat to get all of his fat back after using it in a fight. Of course, he gained weight much faster than most, but one must also take into account that he’s eight-foot-two, and has to gain at least twice his minimum body weight if he wants to ensure that he has enough fat for his jobs to go well each and every time. But despite eating being one of the main components to his quirk, there always came a point where he just couldn’t eat more than he already had. His stomach was hyper-functioning, but not limitless. 

You knew this, and you knew Taishiro did as well, but he’d always been a go-beyond-plus-ultra kind of guy, and put the public’s need for his quirk and heroship over his own well-being. This resulted in a lot of long nights with him bending over the toilet to throw up what he couldn’t keep down, and you giving him belly massages when it started acting up. But eventually, it got to the point where even his own doctor told him he needed to slow down, and take more time to eat instead of rushing back to duty. 

This was very hard for him. You knew you wouldn’t be able to ever completely understand why, but you were there for him nonetheless. Long nights turned into sleepless ones for him over his growing anxiety. The stomach pains came and went a little less than they had, but the dark clouds kept looming over him all the same.

At first, you weren’t sure if you should try to help him. Despite his outgoing and friendly nature, he was a rather independent person, and it just didn’t feel like your place to try to get him on the right track. So you started to spend more time with him while he ate, just to keep him company and make sure he was okay, instead of trying to do anything too direct.

Most of what Taishiro ate was fast food, since it was easy to gain fat with it and even faster to get his hands on. You couldn’t eat much of it, but he could eat it for hours if he went slow enough, so you ate a couple fries every now and again and spent the rest of your time at the table getting him to talk as to slow down his intake. It was sometimes hard to think of things to talk about, but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t working like a charm. 

At first, it was mostly like the afterwork small-talk you usually made: “How was your day? Anything exciting? Whose asses did you kick? Is Amajiki doing okay? What do you mean Kirishima got his hand stuck in the printer?” And he was content talking about it. But after a few days, all of his answers were the same, seeing as not much had been changing. So you had to get creative.

“What’s your opinion on pineapple on pizza?” 

“Absolutely delectable. Food of the Gods. Next question.” You chuckled to yourself and bit into one of the many sandwiches stacked on the table. 

“What about pickles? I’ve never seen you eat those.” 

“If you saw me eating pickles, that would be an evil clone of me. Pickles are detestable to mankind.” You laughed this time, and he smiled warmly at you before taking another bite of his sandwich. You silently pushed his drink towards him to remind him to wash it down after. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about a food you didn’t like except coconut.” You set your sandwich back down in the box and took a drink. 

“Well, most stuff goes down easy, but I can’t stand coconut for the life of me. Pickles are even worse.” 

“What else don’t you like, then?” 

You spent the rest of that night talking about food until it made you feel more full than you were. For the first time in a while, he didn’t ask you to massage his belly and back, and you didn’t wake up in the middle of the night to find him in the bathroom. But what made you happy the most, was that he seemed happier, too. 

But after a while, you were finding deeper conversations making their way to the table (no pun intended) more often. One minute you’d be discussing things that should be recyclable, and the next you were talking about how useless you felt seeing all of those terrible landfills and the rising emissions and not being able to do much more about it than putting bottles and plastic in the right bin. And, on some of the nights that veered in that direction, you both started talking about things you didn’t have the time or guts to have said before. 

“I think my quirk is gonna kill me one day, darlin’.” You paused in your eating, but his eyes remained downcast at his food. “This kind of eatin’ isn’t good for a regular person, and even with, uhm- how I am,” Taishiro loosely gestured to his body. “I don’t think it can take this much. Not in the long run, anyway.” 

You’d considered it a few times before, but nothing had ever happened to cause real concern. The doctors never said anything. You were starting to realize that maybe they didn’t have to. Maybe it was something you should have seen before, something you should have realized a long time ago. Hearing him say it made your heart sink. 

“I don’t like hearing you talk like that, honey. I don’t-” You gave a frustrated sigh, setting your food down and resting your arms on the table. “-I don’t like to think about...about not having you here.” 

“I’m a hero, darlin’. I’m surprised you don’t think about it every day.” He was slow when he took a bite of his sandwich. He seemed distant, now. 

“Do you?” He turned to you, stilling again. You swallowed. “Do you think about dying? Every day?” 

He set his food down again. You could tell he probably wasn’t going to pick it back up for the night. “I think about what would happen if I left you all alone. What would happen to you if I were gone. Not so much thinkin’ about dyin’ as I do about you.” 

You could feel your eyes grow wet. You could see emotion welling in his own, too. You didn’t think you’d cry that night when you sat down for dinner, but anything could always happen, you guessed. 

The two of you started talking more about the future after that night. Death seemed a little too real, a little too close for comfort, so you talked like you could outlive it. You hadn’t considered marriage much before he brought up how much trouble he’d have to go through to find a dealer who could make a ring in his size. You hadn’t considered having children until he started talking about how cute all the babies and kids were on his patrol, and how good you’d look with one in your arms. 

So you told him all the places you wanted to go one day, and where you might want to have a wedding. You discussed all the baby names you’d thought of, and which ones would fit a baby of what you thought your offspring would look like. You would want a girl named Honoka, Taishiro would want a girl named Sumiko. You both thought Mamoru was a good boy name, though. 

You could see the progression of Taishiro’s health every time he gained weight, and you could also see the light grow brighter in his smiles. You could swim in his happiness when he laughed. You could feel his love for you in your bones every time he kissed you, or touched you, or when he whispered little nothings to you in the dark. He was becoming whole again, if you had ever known a time when he was completely there in the first place, and you could feel yourself growing with him. 

His soft touches on the small of your back and on your cheeks made you feel more grounded. When you asked about his day, he responded in earnest, and you clung to every word. He pulled you back to Earth when you hadn’t even realized you were drifting away. 

You hadn’t realized how unreal everything felt until you thought of what lay ahead, both for you and Taishiro. It was like you were close to graduating again, having to consider what you wanted with your life and where you’d go from there. You’d always thought getting married. You’d always thought about having kids. But you had never considered it- not genuinely, not when it was an option available to you. You could feel a change bubbling beneath your surface. 

But you could see him changing, too. Even when you weren’t there to eat with him, you could tell he took his time with it. You could see him start to care about his own thoughts and needs as much as he cared about your’s. He started to feel whole to you, no matter whether he had fat on his bones or not, and you could tell he was starting to feel it, too. 

-

taglist: @knifeewifee @keigos-dove @hanniejji @bvnnyclouds @wesparklebitch @katsukis-sad-angel

- dm/inbox to be added or removed from a taglist.

[staarshines]

hi it's me im just here to say a few things lol

1. MERRY TFATWS EVE EVE

2. i took a benadryl earlier and i feel like im gonna pass out any second now lol

3. i touched a stingray for the first time today and i didnt like it

4. my feet hurt

5. i have sneezed more in the last 10 minutes than i think i have in my entire life send help

omg this is so late im so sorry i saw this when i was logging off for vacation (john lemon is still on my instagram account if you ever want to check if im on vacation if i dip like this bc her account looks like a spam and its not necessarily identifiable like a main is)

1) i still havent seen it

2) did u pass out. are you feeling better.

3) OMG REALLY HOW DID YOU NOT LIKE IT I REMEMBER SWIMMING W STINGRAYS IN BORA BORA AND IT WAS THE BEST

4) do your feet feel better

5) babe what the fuck

[birdantlers]

first thing that came to mind is the uh. the face touching scene in i see you,, 🥺 I havent reread that one in a fat minute but it just sticks with u

I completely forgot to answer this one somehow ahhjshsjshs but thanks! I actually feel hella self conscious about that scene now on account of that not being a thing but somehow I. I thought that was a completely unique idea that only I had lol,,

[theforce]

presumptive horrible rotten case of corona: symptoms

presumptive bc i couldnt get a god damn test i live in new york and while there are testing sites all over the state and our state govt is doing what they can now, i don’t want to be the person taking away a test from someone else especially now that i am mostly better, most of this went down at the beginning of the month and i’m still dealing with the effects of it. 

there was a lot of confusion here even as recent as 2 weeks and we are the state that’s testing more than the rest of the entire country so here is my account of what went down w me, and honestly, what might go down with you or someone you know as soon as this reaches your state

1) i threw up all night long, thought it was a stomach virus, had a lot of stomach issues for like 24 hours, very strange i haven’t had a stomach virus in YEARS since i was a literal child, anyways right before i started puking up my life i developed this weird cough, it felt like it was from my throat, like i was trying to clear it? but it was often and annoying 

2) after my 24 hours of hell i felt feverish and exhausted but i chalked it up to being on the floor of the bathroom all night, exerting my esophagus and body to throw up the devil himself, i tried to sleep it off, i woke up a few hours later in a fog, i was shivering but i was also burning up, i couldn’t tell left from right, up from down, my fever was 100.3, at this point i had my mom call my doctor and make an appointment, she made it for me w the receptionist, everything was fine until 20 minutes later i got a call back from my actual doctor not the receptionist who was like, oh no not you’re not coming here with those symptoms baby and i was like ?? ok cool thanks, she said to keep watching my symptoms, slam some tylenol and if i felt shortness of breath to call or text her personal cell phone and she would get me set up at the nearest hospital i said ok sounds fucked up i mean i didn’t say that bc i was too fucked up to even speak, she also gave my mom instructions to keep me in my room, to not go near me, to give me a designated bathroom, to have food and water delivered to my door, my mom was like u dont gotta tell me twice (she has lupus) during this time my cough become dry and horrible, i could feel my lungs rattle, i would cough so hard and for so long i’d wake from my feverish coma to kneel over my bed and just let loose on the world, it felt like i was drowning, i couldn’t get enough air everything hurt, everything was sore 

3) things continued on like this for 5 straight days, i was literally in and out of consciousness, my fever got up to 102 and my mom said that if it raised at all from there we were going to the fuckin hospital and i was like listen la rona i know u wanna take me out but i havent even ever eaten a krispy kreme donut, please let me survive this i can’t leave this way, in that moment i literally had a fever dream of god herself, i said take this from me and i’ll stop being such a cunt in life. i started slamming hot toddy’s, i’d drink as much water as possible in between the time i wasnt literally trying to expel my lungs by way of my mouth

4) woke up from that whole ordeal drenched in SWEAT from my feet to my head i was soaked, it was gross, at that point i still had a sense of smell so let me tell you my last and final symptom should have kicked in a bit earlier but i checked my temp and it was normal! i didn’t feel like my head was going to explode! but i had new things going on i had a new stuffy/runny nose, my cough was producing some liquid which i proceeded to throw up into a mcdonalds cup i took a shower, i brushed my teeth, i felt like a brand new woman, i had cold like symptoms but i can live with cold like symptoms, i had an appetite for the first time in a week, felt like i could eat my whole family out of house and home given the opportunity, i’d lost 20 pounds in less than 2 weeks and ya girl was honestly, looking good but THAT’S A BAD WAY OF THINKING disregard please thank you, at this point i went into my doctor with a full on mask, gloves, hair pulled back, she gave me every test you can think of, most importantly a flu test which is all she could do since getting a test was impossible at this pint, which of course came back negative 

5) things continued like this for weeks, up until right now actually, exhaustion was gone, fever gone, cough still here and there but not like how it was, i’ve put on makeup in my room, i’ve watched every season of law and order svu, i’ve gone on drives in my car just to drive, i’ve tried to keep myself as busy as possible, 3 days ago the strangest, most inexplicable and hopefully last symptom arrived, a complete loss of smell and bc of that taste, i’ve tried smelling candles, essential oils, laundry detergent, canned meat, my brother lit a match with my back turned and asked me what the smell was, i ate extra hot cheetos, raw onions, shot of vinegar, there’s nothing there, i just hope it comes back 

during this time i haven’t been even close to my mother, who has lupus or my sister, who has asthma, i stayed in my room, i’m still in my room actually 14 full days out from the last time i left the house, one month since this whole thing started, i eat in my room, i use a different bathroom than my whole family, everyone talks to me from my door frame besides my little brother who also was sick but recovered super fast, he bleaches the bathroom after i use it, he puts all my food on single use plates, he brings me jugs of water and reminds me of what it’s like to at least talk to another person. 

on a more serious note, i haven’t touched another person in 20 days nobody has even been within 6 feet of me besides my doctor who was administering the only tests she could administer, fully decked out in a hazmat suit, she was scared for me, i could tell, she was trying to put on a brave face and downplay the severity of my symptoms but thank god for her, she’s checked up on me, she’s tried everything, she’s put in calls, she’s made herself as available as possible even though she’s probably going through the same thing with countless other patients, i worry for her, i’ve worried for my family, i’ve stressed beyond the point of no return which has for sure slowed my recovery and i was one of the lucky ones! all of this and my case was considered mild because i never really had trouble breathing beyond being choked by my own coughing. 

people have been there for me during all of this, in ways that are further reaching than touch, i have been very vocal about not liking when people touch me but i do look forward to the day i can hug my mom, where i can tell my friend to take a sip of my drink to see if she likes it, to have someone pat me on the shoulder and tell me to keep my head up or whatever 

hopefully im on the other side of this, my more at risk family members are about to be 14 days from the last time any of them were near me or my brother, they’re at the end of a long tunnel and i’m just so happy that maybe soon we’ll all see the light 

take care of yourselves

[thatssonanii]

Birthday Girl

Bloodline Family Series

Even though Simba complained about Kennedie, he loves her so he wanted to make her birthday as special as possible. He started to complain that her birthday is literally seven days after Valentines Day but he sucked it up just for her and accepted the fact he was going to have to be mushy twice in a weeks time.

Teddy ended up going back home so his dad could fill out his transfer papers from school. He planned to finish his senior year of high school in Florida with Simba. But before he went back he helped Simba plan what he was going to do. Usually he picked Kennedie up for school and got breakfast before going but he had Porshe take her. As far as Kennedie knew, he had an appointment and wasn't coming.

After second period, Kennedie walked with Porshe to their next period with a slight pout on her face. Porshe bumped her shoulder.

"Girl, it's your birthday. You're finally eighteen. What's with the face?"

Kennedie shook her head, thanking a classmate who wished her a happy birthday as they passed her. "I havent talked to Simba at all today. Last time I heard from him was last night when he told me he wasn't picking me up."

Porsche bit back her smile, "Well he did say he had an appointment, Ken. Maybe he was nervous or something and forgot."

"But how? I put those annoying reminders on his phone that he hates," she pouted walking into their next class.

Porshe laughed loudly earning a glare and pout from her best friend. She tried to calm her laughter as they walked through the classroom to get to their seats.

"Maybe that's why then. You know how he gets when he's annoyed. Teddy's the same way."

Kennedie sulked in her desk, "But it's my birthday."

Porshe shook her head at her best friend and pulled her phone out to text Simba without the teacher seeing. Simba was standing in Party City when he got Porshe's text. He couldn't help but smile imagining the pout on his girlfriend's face.

Simba waited for the associate to come to the balloon counter and gave a small smile. "Hey, I came to pick up my balloons."

She smiled politely, "And what's your name?"

"Simba."

After a while, she gave him his balloons and he was out of the store headed to his aunt's bakery to pick up the cake he ordered for her. When he walked in he saw his mom and both aunties behind the counter, he walked behind the counter to hug them.

"What's up? The cake ready, TK?"

Kandice smirked at him and pointed to the counter on her right. "Its over there in the box."

He laughed a little, "Why you lookin at me like that?"

"Same reason we're all looking at you," Trinity teased pinching his cheeks.

Apryl laughed, "Your mean ass being all nice. Took the day off from school to make sure she has a good birthday. Being all secretive and cute."

Shaking his head, Simba went to grab the large cake box so he could leave. "Ima see yall later. I got one more stop to make before she gets outta school."

"Uhuh. I'll see you at home. I got your outfit for later."

Simba thanked his mom, said his goodbyes and left the bakery. After making the last stop to drop the cake, her gifts and most of the balloons off, he sped a bit to get to his high school before school let out. Parking in front on the sidewalk where the student parking lot is, Simba got out with her balloons and roses and leaned against his black challenger waiting for her to come out.

Porshe saw Simba's text and started to coax Kennedie to put a bit of pep in her step.

"Why you rushing me?"

"Cause it's the end of the day," she sassed as they walked towards the exit with their classmates, "And I am ready to go. It's thr weekend, girl. My Teddy bear is coming home today."

When they got outside, Kennedie didn't pay any attention to her classmates grouping up a bit and stopping to talk because they did it every day. After a nudge from Porsche, Kennedie looked up from her phone looking directly at her boyfriend and smiled.

Simba saw his girlfriend smile and smiled back. Her smiles were contagious for him. She walked quickly down the steps with Porsche behind her and hugged Simba.

"Baby, I thought you forgot!"

He laughed hugging her back as best as he could then kissed her. "How could I forget my girl birthday? Especially when she put seven alarms on my phone."

Laughing, Kennedie pulled away them looked at her best friend.

"You knew?"

"Of course I knew, Ken. If I really thought he forgot your birthday, I would've cussed him out by now. But have fun, call me whenever you get back home."

Porsche hugged them both then jogged to her Chevy sonic. Some of their classmates lingered to watch the couple. Simba passed her the balloons and her roses.

The smile on her face grew even wider.

"My favorite colors! Is that money, Josiah?"

He sucked his teeth, "Aight now, ima let that slide cause its your birthday. But yeah it is."

Kennedie counted the roses then stared at him, "There's ten roses."

"I know that," he laughed.

"That's $1000, Simba."

"I know that too," he nodded opening the passenger side door for her, "Get in, baby. Let me get them balloons."

As they rode through the streets, Kennedie kept a smile on her face. She took pictures and videos for her social media accounts. Usually would complain about her doing it but he joined in for her laughing and smiling. He let her play her favorite music as well.

Thirty minutes later, Simba pulled up to the valet of the Four Seasons Hotel Disney Resort. He hopped out with his engine running and opened Kennedie's door helping her out them grabbed her balloons out the back. The valet worker handed Simba a ticket before he entered the hotel.

This was the stop he made prior to getting Kennedie from school. Jey had met him here to check in, since Simba was only eighteen Jey put the room in his name.

The couple went straight to the hotel and up to the tenth floor. Opening the room door, Simba allowed her to go in first and him behind her. Setting her stuff down, Simba approached her from behind putting his hands over her eyes.

"Keep walking," he whispered in her ear.

She laughed nervously, "You not about to kill me or nothing are you?"

He laughed, "Man just keep walking till I tell you to stop."

He led her into the bedroom and took his hands from her eyes. When he didn't hear a reaction, he peaked around at her. He laughed loudly when he saw her squeezing her eyes shut.

"Man, open ya damn eyes, baby. Ain't shit here gon scare you."

Slowly, she opened her eyes. Her hands went to her mouth as she looked around the room.

"Simba," she said touching the cards attached to the balloons, "This is beautiful. Thank you."

"You welcome, Doll. I'm glad you like it."

"What are these attached to the balloons?"

"I wrote down all the reasons I love you, all the things that I love about you and my favorite memories with you."

"Awwee, Simba. I love you."

Kennedie moved to hug him and cried softly into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight and rubbed her back.

"Love you too, Kenni. Now stop that crying big baby."

She pushed him playfully taking a step back. "Not funny."

"Aight aight," he laughed, "But um I talked to my parents and your mom about us staying so this is us for the weekend. As you can tell it's a Disney resort cause your childish ass loves Mickey and shit. I got us passes for the whole weekend but tonight we have a dinner date and fireworks to see. How that sound?"

Kennedie smiled at her boyfriend still wiping her face, "It sounds amazing, Simba."

"Aight, we don't gotta do nothin that's not why I brought you here. It was just something for us to get away and to be closer to Disney. Aight?"

Kennedie nodded starting to look around the room.

"Cool. Your mom packed your bag and I had my mom pick some stuff out for you, it's all in the closet. Your makeup and all that other shit is in the bathroom," He explained pointing as he went, "You go ahead and start getting ready its three now and dinner is at seven. I'll be back by six thirty."

She frowned, "Where you going?"

He kissed her forehead then started to back away, "Hope you didn't think I was done with the surprises, baby. You'll see when I get back."

Before she could stop him, Simba was gone and she stood looking at all the balloons with a goofy smile on her face. Of course she took pictures and read the notes while she sat on Facetime with Porsche

[wheremyscalesslither]

I just got home from an hour and a half drive to the vet's and back.

Kahlua died in my hands last night. I do not know why or have any indication of what happened. She was eating fine, had bowel movements, got vet clearance when she got out of quarantine, etc. 3 days ago she was looking a little dehydrated, but nothing bad enough for me to worry about. I rehydrated her enclosure and kept humidity high, and when I checked her last night she was listless and limp. Panicked, I picked her up and dialed the 24 hour emergency vet. They told me to bring her in, but it didnt matter was dead in the next 10 minutes.

I called the vet as soon as they opened to get her in for a necropsy and they said to bring her down. I felt really bitter, and I know its not the vet people's fault, but they told me it should be about 10 days to two weeks to get results. The face I made at the receptionist was obviously nasty, because she looked surprised. It wasnt her fault I was just pissed off because that's what wells fargo told me about my bank and it's been 2 weeks and they havent touched my case file. They also stole my $120 from etsy because of overdrawn charges which they wont reverse until everything is sorted out.

I literally dont know how much more bullshit I can take from the universe. I feel so defeated and broken. Bad things keep piling higher and higher and none of the issues are being resolved despite me working to do so. I still havent gotten any info about being hired for a new job, amazon is still fighting my bank on charges I didnt make to my bank account so I have no access to money, and nothing seems to be getting better. I wish I could keep a positive mindset on anything right now but everything Everything is so so so bleak and i just do not see the purpose in continuing to try to make it better when every attempt to fix my problems just ends up with me getting punched in the face by something new.

To make matters worse, I forgot to silicone the vents onto Harley's brand new cage, one of the screws popped out of the old melamine because its shitty and crumbly and Harley escaped.

So it's like here add insult to injury