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civilians-of-nothingtown · 6 years ago

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oc masterlist

sorry i havent gotten around to this until now! ive been busy :(

but here it is! a main summary/overview/list of all my ocs ill be talking about on this blog. its below the ‘read more’ because this is a pretty long post. ;)

Tyler Alexeev ( #tyler alexeev - oc )

Age: 20

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Abilities:

- none, although he is surprisingly strong

Disorders:

- Severe Anxiety Disorder / Agoraphobia / Social Anxiety Disorder

- Bipolar Disorder

Tyler was orphaned at a young age, due to an unfortunate accident. This accident led him to eat his parents and proceeding to run off into the woods. He’s lived there ever since – he built a house, and became a “park ranger”. He’s really just paid by wildlife services since he keeps the animals safe from poachers. He met Elias when he was around 17 and has lived with him since then.

Elias ( #elias - oc )

Age: 18

Sexuality: Bisexual, heavily male leaning

Status: Single (please don’t date this guy)

Gender: Male

Species: Werefox, genetically modified with raccoon genes

Abilities:

- incomplete regeneration ; can put limbs back and restore partial function to lost limbs

Disorders:

- PTSD / Adjustment Disorder / Reactive Attachment Disorder

- Schizoid Personality Disorder

- Antisocial Personality Disorder

- literal god complex

Elias was taken from his parents for government experimentation when he was 10. The facility he was held in was to test the extremities of his kind (werefoxes) and subjected him to gruesome tests and exposure to hazardous chemicals. The exposure led him to develop unnatural regenerative abilities… He’s too undead. He always smells like rotting flesh. And on top of that, they experimented with genetic modifications, giving him modifications of a raccoon. He eventually broke out, somehow getting a guard’s gun and killing everyone who dared stand in his way. He now lives with Tyler and has an odd infatuation with guns and a serious sadism problem.

Ross Allegri ( #ross allegri - oc )

Age: 700

Sexuality: Bisexual, also heavily male leaning

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Werecat (brown Abyssinian cat)

Abilities:

- ancestor was cursed with a third eye

- can die 9 times before it’s permanent

- cannot be killed easily unless with silver

Disorders:

- mild ADD / ADHD

- PTSD

He had a shitty home life when he was young; his mother calls both him and his dad freaks. Soon his dad took off, leaving Ross with his verbally abusive mother. The minute he became mature enough to move out, he did, although he’s mostly broke and is addicted to smoking weed. He currently works at Hot Topic with his cousin Rogue, and acts in snuff films on the side, since he cannot die unless the weapon is silver.

Salem Agnelli ( #salem agnelli - oc )

Age: 19

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Single, very brokenhearted

Gender: Male

Species: Fallen Angel

Abilities:

- eternal life

- superhuman strength / speed

- insane healing factor

- illusion casting

- healing

- telekinesis

Disorders:

- Bipolar Depression / Mania

- Severe ADHD / ADD

Mother was emotionally abusive, father took off. He moved out and went to college, currently studying biomedical engineering. He lives in his friend Alex’s (not MY Alex) house and works at a Wal-Mart. When he first moved out, he got turned into a fallen angel after a hookup with a guy at a bar and is now cursed with immortality. He regularly binds his wings to his back so they aren’t seen.

SR700 ( #sr700 - oc )

Age: technically he was assembled 5 years ago but 23

Sexuality: he’s confused

Status: Single

Gender: Male (they/them he/him)

Species: Android infused with cyberdemon blood (Cyberdemons are a closed original species)

Abilities:

- cyberdemon abilities, which include durability, strength, etc

Disorders:

- n/a

An advanced, weaponized android infused with cyberdemon blood, giving him unnatural abilities. He’s currently a SWAT team member.

Rose ( #rose - oc )

Age: 22

Sexuality: Straight

Status: Single

Gender: Female

Species: Avian (Closed original species) [magpie variant]

Abilities:

- rapid healing / healing abilities

- extreme durability

- high blood volume

Disorders:

- Severe Anxiety Disorder / Agoraphobia / Social Anxiety Disorder

- PTSD

- Clinical Depression

- Avoidant / Paranoid Personality Disorder

Rose’s parents were cruel beings, unable to deal with having a half-bird child. They beat her mercilessly and forced her to bind her wings, stunting their growth and causing them irreversible joint problems. After her parent’s… Unfortunate death, she ran away and followed her dream of being in the police force. She works at the same station SR700 is at, and they’re very good friends. Although later on in her life she got kidnapped by Leo, who did numerous things to her, including keeping her as a pet and digging her eye out - so now she wears a bandanna to cover the scar of the hole, along with numerous other scars that can’t be covered. The feathers on one side of her face are missing and scarred over.

Zeksis ( #zeksis - oc )

Age: 17

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Single

Gender: Male (FtM)

Species: Human

Abilities:

- n/a

Disorders:

- Clinical Depression

Zek is an orphan who’s currently living in his own apartment with a job at Spencer’s. He’s the school’s drug dealer and has had a couple of rough patches in his life, but he’s overall pretty okay. He carries around a crowbar and is often easily angered or pissed off.

Rogue Milano ( #rogue milano - oc )

Age: 170

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Taken by August (Alex’s OC)

Gender: Male

Species: Werecat (gray Nebelung cat)

Abilities:

- ancestor was cursed with a third eye

- can die 9 times before it’s permanent

- cannot be killed easily unless it’s silver

Disorders:

- Severe PTSD / Anxiety Disorder

- Antisocial Personality Disorder

- Depression

He was stolen as a young kit to be used as a weapon for a powerful gang, who basically broke down his sanity until there was none left. Far back in his lineage (he’s related to Ross) a powerful witch cursed his whole bloodline with a third eye in the middle of their forehead. They forced him into a pet mentality, and gave him two extremely strong metal prosthetic arms as a replacement for those he lost during a hit. He killed his ‘master’ (he forced Rogue to call him that) and eventually escaped, but he never truly recovered because he never remembered his actual name. So he calls himself Rogue. He started to work at the same Hot Topic Ross works at.

Adonis Errus ( #adonis errus - oc )

Age: over 1000 years old

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Taken by Max (Peri’s OC)

Gender: Male

Species: Demon

Abilities:

- strong persuasion

- toxic blood

- abnormal strength

- rapid healing

Disorders:

- mild PTSD

Adonis is a demon who was tasked with making humans commit the sin of lust; specifically lust for sex and lust for food. He has snake-like attributes (red-bellied black snake ones, to be specific) and venom that acts as an aphrodisiac. He was also kidnapped by Leo and used as an object, but he’s forcefully forgotten most of that experience. He works at a club as a dancer.

Anxietatem ( #anxietatem - oc )

Age: 23

Sexuality: Straight

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Cyberdemon (Closed original species)

Abilities:

- rapid healing

- abnormal strength

- dense body mass

Disorders:

- Severe Anxiety Disorder

Sent to kill people, hindered by his anxiety. He spends most of his time hiding away in his house in his human form, afraid of being feared. His demon form is a four-armed beast with long black horns and four bright purple eyes (his body is completely pitch black), along with a tail. His blood, just like his eyes, is bright purple. He works at a little bookstore that he loves to death. Currently struggling with the fact that he has to eat humans to survive, and that need is moot with Thorn and Alex since they’re part human.

Jakkal Sibuna ( #jakkal sibuna - oc )

Age: thousands of years old

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Demigod (Son of Anubis)

Abilities:

- reanimation

- immortality

- shapeshifting (into a jackal)

Disorders:

- n/a

Jakkal is the forbidden offspring of Anubis, the Egyptian god of embalming/the dead, and a mortal who practiced witchcraft. He can morph fully into a black jackal with Egyptian style markings, or just his head, which is his favorite to do. He currently works as a bouncer at the same club Adonis works at.

Thorn ( #thorn - oc )

Age: 22

Sexuality: Straight

Status: Taken by Salias (Lilly’s OC)

Gender: Female

Species: Stunted Cyberdemon (Closed original species)

Abilities:

- rapid healing

- abnormal strength

- dense body mass

Disorders:

- n/a

She’s basically a mutated cyberdemon stuck in limbo between human form and demon form, and so she managed to escape being slaughtered by coming to Earth and hiding herself. She works with Jakkal as a bouncer, and tries to juggle caring for Alex and her unfortunate alcohol addiction. Her blood is electric blue like her eyes.

Alex ( #alex [c] - oc )

Age: technically, since they age fast, 3. but he appears to be 18

Sexuality: Straight

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Human/Cyberdemon hybrid

Abilities:

- rapid healing

- abnormal strength / body density

- four arms

Disorders:

- n/a

Bastard child of Thorn and her long ex boyfriend, a human. He, (sigh) was also taken by Leo and used as an attack dog. He’s stuck in a semi-demon form, having four arms (one pair is retractable), a stubby tail, four eyes and little horns. His eyes and blood are bright red, since all cyberdemons have a random blood color at birth.

Morthraxul / Max ( #morthraxul - oc )

Age: 19

Sexuality: Bisexual, heavily male leaning

Status: Taken by Max but open to a poly relationship

Gender: Male

Species: Demon (Gojira, closed species of my own)

Abilities:

- rapid healing

- possession

- abnormal strength

- persuasion

Disorders:

- n/a

He was sent away at a young age so he wouldn’t be slaughtered, and came to Earth. Tide saved his life and formed a bond with him, even if Tide is unfortunately possessive. He’s a very bubbly person and loves meeting new friends, although he has to eat hearts to live.

Tide ( #tide - oc )

Age: 22

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Taken by Max but open to a poly relationship

Gender: Male

Species: Human (drinks/injects demon blood)

Abilities:

- persuasion

- super strength

- claws

Disorders:

- god complex

A priest who isn’t actually religious; he worships demons and uses his job advantages to summon demons and drink their blood, which he is addicted to. It makes him have violent outbursts and random attribute changes, which are currently only at bright red eyes and sharp teeth. He honestly loves Max with all his heart, but his expression of it is unfortunately twisted due to his deteriorated mental state.

Leonard / Leo Mac Domhnaill ( #leo mac domhnaill - oc )

Age: 20

Sexuality: Gay

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Demon prince

Abilities:

- immortality

- rapid healing

- super strength

Disorders:

- god complex

- Intermittent Explosive Disorder

- Severe Bipolar Disorder

- Schizoid / Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Demon Prince with amazingly sweet parents, until they were brutally murdered. The loss of his parents drove him insane, and it turned him into a sadist hell-bent on keeping people as ‘pets’ - although that may change since as I’m writing this, he’s dead. But he may be brought back. Before insanity took hold he loved to bake and throw parties and sew. He has bright green mint hair and grayish horns, bright amber eyes, and a white lion tail. His dad was a demon with a lion head, and his mother was a lower demon with simple features.

Kiielbeyatt / Kiel ( #kiielbeyatt - oc )

Age: 21

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Salval (closed alien species, mine)

Abilities:

- extremely swift & light

- very fast reflexes

- bioluminescent

Kiel came to Earth to escape his parents, who dislike him due to not having venom glands like he’s supposed to. I’m not going to describe it here (I’ll post it later) but he comes from a planet of humanoid reptilians. His green freckles are bioluminescent and so is his hair, which is also neon green. His eyes are a darker blue, but he has a ridiculous fashion sense and a snake tail. He loves to make new friends and he honestly loves Earth quite a bit.

Reese Volkov (#reese volkov - oc)

Age: 18

Sexuality: Questioning

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Beastkin (a species by @/gatobob)

Abilities:

- quite fast, very agile

- claws, sharp teeth

- can see dead people; can’t interact

- he has snow leopard features

Disorders:

- N/A

Reese and his sister, Sasha, were moved from Russia when they were very small by their parents to avoid the ridicule of having to grow up in a small town who thought all beastkin were evil, etc. Anyway, Reese lives with his sister in an apartment and works at an arcade, and he’s currently taking online college courses. Reese took on his father’s full snow leopard features, giving him brilliant green eyes and three black cuff markings on each of his wrists and ankles. He loves salad and Marvel movies. Reese didn’t inherit his father’s height - he inherited his mother’s. He’s 5'2".

Sasha Volkov (#sasha volkov - oc)

Age: 21

Sexuality: Lesbian

Status: Taken by Clark

Gender: Female (MtF)

Species: Beastkin (again, a species by @/gatobob)

Abilities:

- fast and agile

- claws, sharp teeth

- she inherited her father’s strength

- she has arctic fox features

Disorders:

- N/A

Sasha’s parents were a snow leopard (father) and an arctic fox (mother), who moved them from Russia at a young age. She’s a huge tomboy and loves her girlfriend with all her heart. She loves to watch crime shows and eat fruit - she also shares the three cuff markings (all in the same places) with her brother. She has brilliant blue eyes and the same hair color as her brother as well. She also inherited her father’s height - she stands at a whopping 6'2".

Clark Smith (#clark smith - oc)

Age: 19

Sexuality: Lesbian

Status: Taken by Sasha

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Abilities:

- she can draw really well

- advanced telekinesis

- clairvoyant

Disorders:

- N/A

Clark is a sweet girl who loves Star Wars, history, and video game design. She’s currently in school to become a video game developer, after moving out of her parents’ house. She works at a small café with her girlfriend Sasha and often uses her abnormal abilities to do her work quickly. Her favorite color is purple, so naturally, her hair is long and dark purple. She’s a little bit on the rebellious side, having numerous piercings and small tattoos.

Karnarka (#karnarka - OC)

Age: 21

Sexuality: Gay

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Naga

Abilities:

- immune to poison

- hypnosis

- snake features (feathered tree viper)

Disorders:

- extreme anger issues

Kar is an extreme hothead, his anger mainly being towards the fact that everyone thinks he’s a freak. He has blonde hair with black tips and gray eyes, with a scar over his left eye. He moved out when he graduated from college, after his dad practically kicked him out. He currently lives in a small house of his own with a pet snake named Zeus.

Natalia Amius (#natalia amius - oc)

Age: 394

Sexuality: Straight

Status: Married (to Virgil Amuis)

Gender: Female

Species: Vampire

Abilities:

- superhuman strength

- persuasion

- immortality

- telepathy

- pyrokinesis

- shapeshifting

Disorders:

- N/A

Natalie was born quite a while ago, obviously. She was bitten by a vampire in her village and fled as soon as she turned. She met Virgil in the 1900s, and immediately fell for him when she found out he shared her same… Sadistic tendencies. She lures people (of all genders) in with her looks before draining them; if she likes you well enough she may just turn you. She’s got black hair and bright red eyes.

Virgil Amuis (#virgil amuis - oc)

Age: 1,000

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Married (to Natalia Amius)

Gender: Male

Species: Fallen angel (seraphim)

Abilities:

- immortality

- superhuman strength & speed

- advanced healing

- illusion casting

- control over the heavenly fire

Disorders:

- bipolar disorder

Virgil was cast down from heaven after he burned a human being alive – and he’s been doing the same thing ever since. He fell in love with Natalia immediately and they still love each other quite a bit, despite the affairs they both have. He owns a strip joint, and he’s quite the slut, really. Black hair with red tips, and milky white eyes. He also lures people in, but gives them to his wife or kills them himself. He turned Salem into a fallen angel and only did it because he’s quite fond of the boy.

Vazamoth (#vazamoth - oc)

Age: 27

Sexuality: Bisexual (male leaning)

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Demon king (a son of Mammon)

Abilities:

- alternate demon form

- superhuman strength

- persuasion

- mind control

Disorders:

- N/A

Vaz, as he goes by, is a surgeon at quite an uppity hospital. He’s filthy rich, and as a demon of greed, he always wants more. 6’ without goat legs, 7’ with them. Black hair, piercings, many facial scars, and a pair of black bat wings tattooed on his back. His demon form includes reddish-black goat haunches, black spiked tail, sharp teeth, and bull horns. He can control these at will. He’s a bit arrogant, but once he warms up to you (which takes a long while) he’s caring.

Gabriel (#gabriel - oc)

Age: 20

Sexuality: Questioning

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Angel

Abilities:

- control over heavenly fire

- immortality

- amazing healing factor

- persuasion

Disorders:

- N/A

Gabriel is down on Earth earning his wings – he wants to be in the heavenly court one day. Despite this, he experiments with human things, such as sex, drugs, etc. He’s got a big crush on Vaz, but he won’t admit it since it’s basically forbidden. He’s got bright red eyes and stark-white hair, and a cross branded on the nape of his neck. His wings are a bit small, but they’re still growing.

Tenki Gyaltsen (#tenki gyaltsen - oc)

Age: 23

Sexuality: Straight

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Werewolf

Abilities:

- normal werewolf abilities, immune to most everything but silver

- can commune with animals

Disorders:

- N/A

Tenki used to live up north, and he came down to go to school. He wants to be a veterinarian when he gets older, and due to his werewolf lineage, he’s amazing at it already. He can hold his alcohol extremely well and has brilliant green eyes and dark brown hair. His fur is also dark brown – he has the ability to turn fully into a dog since he’s pureblooded.

Lena Metzger (#lena metzger - oc)

Age: 25

Sexuality: Bisexual (female leaning)

Status: Single

Gender: Female

Species: Werewolf (black german shepherd)

Abilities:

- normal werewolf abilities, immune to most everything but silver

- can commune with animals

Disorders:

- N/A

Works as a butcher in her dad’s shop – has a side hustle of being behind most of Rogue’s hits. She works for the government in the ‘tech department’ where she programs targets into their supersoldier’s heads. She’s a bit of a stone-hearted asshole, and it seems like she never laughs. She’s got dark black hair and hazel eyes. Has the ability to turn fully into a dog, and loves it.

Kaskae Tikaani (#kaskae tikaani - oc)

Age: 20

Sexuality: Gay

Status: On / Off Relationship With Andreas

Gender: Male

Species: Werewolf (alaskan malamute)

Abilities:

- normal werewolf abilities, immune to most everything but silver

- can commune with animals

Disorders:

- N/A

Kaskae is from Cali, and he’s wanting to go into fashion when he goes to college. He’s on his way to doing that, happily working at the mall. His hair is red (which he has dyed so it fades to a soft pink towards the ends), which matches his red/white colored fur. He’s got a very bubbly personality and he’s built like a football player, although he hates sports. He loves animals as well. He prefers only showing the ears and tail parts of his abilities, but he can also turn fully into a dog.

Fen Kuang (#fen kuang - oc)

Age: 20

Sexuality: Questioning

Status: Single

Gender: Female

Species: werewolf (chow chow)

Abilities:

- normal werewolf abilities, immune to most everything but silver

- can commune with animals

Disorders:

- N/A

Fen grew up in a strict household, immediately moving out upon graduating high school. She’s extremely femme and wants to have a fashion line, and is actually going to college for that. Blonde, almost cream colored hair and blue-green eyes. She loves bright and pastel colors and loves to draw as well. Her fur color is cream.

Andreas Schmidt (#andreas schmidt - oc)

Age: 25

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: On / Off occasional relationship with Kaskae

Gender: Male

Species: werewolf (doberman pinscher) / pyrokinetic cross

Abilities:

- normal werewolf abilities, immune to most everything but silver

- can commune with animals

- pyrokinesis

Disorders:

- anger issues

His mother was a pyrokinetic, and his father was a werewolf. He’s furious at his father for not ‘keeping the bloodline clean’. He hates the pyrokinetic part of himself, especially the bright red eyes it gives him. He can’t even control it. But he’s a boxer and fights often, so he’s got a little bit of an outlet.

Enid (#enid - oc)

Age: 21

Sexuality: Bisexual, but questioning still

Status: Single

Gender: Female

Species: Avian (closed species made by me) [crow variant]

Abilities:

- rapid healing / healing abilities

- extreme durability

- high blood volume

- umbrakinesis (darkness manipulation)

Disorders:

- Bipolar disorder

Enid went to an underground all-girls school for avians, where she was taught how to use her mutated powers for extremely bad things. It was run by a cult of avians who wanted humans completely exterminated. Luckily, she escaped, but she’s on the run from them. She currently lives with Fen as a roommate, and she’s incredibly happy with that. She has long black hair with an odd sheen to it, crow wings and a tail, and black feathers on her chest and face. Her eyes burn a bright icy blue and she usually keeps to herself, due to her destructive and manic tendencies. She loves to read and is extremely smart.

Njord Sangster (#njord sangster - oc)

Age: appears 26, actually 260

Sexuality: Straight (but possibly gay; hes experimenting)

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Werecat (light gray Norwegian forest cat)

Abilities:

- 9 lives, immune to death unless wound inflicted by silver

- night vision

- purebred, can turn into a cat at will

- able to withstand ridiculously cold temperatures

Disorders:

- N/A

Njord was born in Norway, but moved to go to art school. He's generally very quiet and has difficulty speaking proper English. He’s become a carpenter, taking great joy in building things. He has long gray hair that’s usually in a ponytail, with brilliant golden eyes. His fur is a silvery-gray, and he’s quite tall (6′). He lives in a house he built himself and likes to draw and make things out of spare wood in his free time. He wants to become a comic book illustrator. His father was from Norway and his mother was from Scotland.

Ari Norophine (#ari norophine - oc)

Age: 20

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Avian (closed species made by me) [greater yellow-headed vulture variant]

Abilities:

- rapid healing / healing abilities

- extreme durability

- high blood volume

Disorders:

- N/A

Ari and his brother are practically inseparable, although Nikolas is adopted. He loves to sing and perform, and he even enjoys theater. His hair is oddly yellow with a red streak in it, and his feathers are simply black. Ari works at the local theater as a stagehand/actor.

Nikolas Norophine (#nikolas norophine - oc)

Age: 23

Sexuality: Bisexual (male leaning)

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Avian (closed species made by me) [bearded vulture variant]

Abilities:

- rapid healing / healing abilities

- extreme durability

- high blood volume

- low form of pyrokinesis (appendages being able to heat up, fire breath)

Disorders:

- PTSD

- Extreme Social Anxiety

Nikolas was adopted by the Norophine family after his birth parents gave him up. Ari was five at the time, and 8-year-old Nikolas was already pretty traumatized. He hates to delve into it because it induces panic attacks. He immediately bonded with Ari, who is the only person he trusts to be around him. Nikolas, who sometimes goes by Nik, writes under a false name for a newspaper column. Nobody has ever seen him since he spends most of his time in his house. He has reddish-ginger hair and same color feathers.

Mezzurith / Project 56 (#project 56 - oc)

Age: 19

Sexuality: Questioning / Not Actually Mentioned

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Cyberdemon (Closed original species)

Abilities:

- rapid healing

- abnormal strength

- dense body mass

Disorders:

- Severe PTSD / Anxiety Disorder

- Antisocial Personality Disorder

- Depression

Mezzurith was captured on the street after killing and eating an agent from the group that is holding Rogue -- they did the same exact thing to him they did to Rogue, although it is taking them much longer to break him than it did Rogue. They’re still in the process of doing so, actually. He isn’t stunted like Thorn, but his blood is bright green and his demon form has wings, a spiked tail, four eyes, and horns. His human form is a black-haired young man, although his eyes are bright green as well as the inside of his mouth.

Theo / Project 57 / DSTR 57 (#theo - oc)

Age: Appears 21 but is actually hundreds of years old

Sexuality: Straight

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Lesser trickster god / god of chaos (stoxali)

Abilities:

- psychological manipulation

- reality warping

- persuasion

- chameleonic nature

- shapeshifting

- escape artistry

- weak to iron

Disorders:

- kleptomania

Theo’s real name is too long and too foreign to actually pronounce; everyone calls him Theo. He got taken after pick-pocketing yet another agent that’s ALSO from where Rogue & Mezzurith are being held. There are rumors that he’s a god from another world -- he has odd, bioluminescent red markings and ram horns. Due to him not being... How you say... A more powerful god, they broke him easily with a little help from a certain demon we all know has hypnosis abilities. He currently is revered as ‘The Destroyer’ because he decimates everything in his path, making him equal in abilities to Rogue. His usual form is odd, with swirling brighter red designs on his skin. His hair is blonde, and the horns on his head are gray. He acts like a cat most of the time, and he has the fangs and claws to match.

Rinen (#rinen - oc)

Age: Appears 19 but is actually at least 100

Sexuality: Bisexual

Status: Single

Gender: Biologically male, doesn’t prefer any specific pronouns. Appears androgynous.

Species: Lesser god of space / god of antimatter (stoxali)

Abilities:

- teleportation

- dimension hopping

- persuasion

- invisibility

- weak to iron

Disorders:

- Social anxiety

Rinen came to Earth to learn more about humans. They’re fascinated by them, and he loves human culture, although he’s easily spooked and doesn’t make a lot of friends. He used to know Theo back on Salvalara, but they’ve lost touch. His hair is a soft white, and he has a soft purple and extremely fluffy cat tail. His bioluminescent markings are bright purple, and his eyes are so pale they’re almost white.

Zephyr (#zephyr - oc)

Age: Appears 25 but is actually millions of years old

Sexuality: Gay

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Lesser god of mind / god of insanity (stoxali)

Abilities:

- psychological manipulation

- mind control

- persuasion

- phasing abilities

- weak to iron

Disorders:

- Intermittent Explosive Disorder

- Impulse-control Disorder

Zephyr narrowly escaped death on Salvalara -- he stole a book from the archives and tried to kill one of the Ancient Ones. He narrowly escaped death by manipulating a guard to send him to Earth. He suffers from vampirism, giving him an undeniable craving for blood. Since he’s on Earth, he can easily satisfy his craving by attacking humans. He usually kills them quick, but if he’s feeling particularly zesty he might ask for a quick fuck first. He has hyena fur on his neck and hyena ears, and his markings glow dark gray. His hair is almost always greasy, and its gray, as is the hyena fur. His eyes are gray as well, although lighter.

Alinar (#alinar - oc)

Age: 18

Sexuality: Straight (although questioning/experimenting)

Status: Single

Gender: Male

Species: Vahhr (closed original species)

Abilities:

- curse inducement

- conjuration

- illusions

- necromancy

Disorders:

- Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Alinar is from Salvalara, and he's actually the prince of their people (the vahhr). He has grayish-pink markings on dark gray skin, and sparse fur, along with a wiry tail and paw/hands. He steals to help Wistari support her family since he can’t exactly give away his fortune. He came to Earth to basically copy Kiel, and to also steal human stuff. He’s pretty pretentious and stuck-up, but deep down he’s extremely loyal and a good friend.

Wistari (#wistari - oc)

Age: 17

Sexuality: Lesbian

Status: Single

Gender: Female

Species: Vahhr (closed original species)

Abilities:

- curse inducement

- conjuration

- illusions

- necromancy

- blood magic

Disorders:

- N/A

Wistari comes from a somewhat poor family, and because of this, she’s had to fend for herself. She works to support her dad, because her mom is manipulative and an overall a jerk. She steals things to sell with Alinar, and she’s also a bit of a jerk herself, but she and Alinar are best friends. Her markings are silvery over her dark gray skin, and her fur is slightly lighter as well. She also has a septum piercing.

#town resident masterlist

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adhdbuzz · 4 years ago

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(Quick note - I have copied this over from my main blog - this is my content...)

ADHD, Neurodivergence, Identity…

I want to start blogging about some of my experiences with mental illness and neurodivergence. Two words, that before this year, I would never of used in relation to myself.

One of the most fascinating and somewhat crippling aspects of learning you are neurodivergent, is becoming so hyperaware of your thoughts, actions, personality, wondering what’s you and what’s your diagnosis, (or what you are imagining/projecting because of your diagnosis). I likely drive my friends mad talking or joking about it, but it’s hard to articulate the complete upheaval that learning this about yourself creates. Suddenly your entire history and personhood is re-defined. You have to change your narrative. I spent most of my teenagehood and childhood feeling removed/estranged from the people and world around me. More than feeling an ‘outcast,’ I felt myself an alien. I believed (and felt that others believed), that I was incredibly lazy and did not have the drive to puruse my passions and potential. This left such a hole in my heart and self-confidence. Imagine that you have this great love for something - or many things, but can’t even motivate yourself to take one single step toward it. You lose interest in every hobby you’ve ever taken up and you don’t understand why you can’t just do the thing. It seems easy for everyone else? What am I missing? So you compensate. Suddenly (and very briefly), you are really into note-taking and study blogs and watching countless hours of videos on how to get organised and ‘change your life’ and you imagine what kind of person you could become. Or you start every new year or semester with the goal to just stay on top of things, just remember, just write it down - everyone else does it? Why can’t you? Inevitably, that falls away.

What happens when you can’t maintain this? When suddenly those three assignments are due, you’ve dropped out of your class/hobby, you’ve missed another opportunity, avoided another goal and heard another person tell you, ‘you just need to get organised…’ ‘ you’ve got so much potential, you just need to apply yourself!’ “I don’t understand how you forgot/didn’t do the thing/didn’t write it down!”

I don’t think I can ever effectively describe the impact that this has had on me. There is something so devastating in not understanding there is something different about your brain during the really sensitive, formative years of your life. Because you end up spending so much time trying to work out why you are not like everyone else, why you struggle with things that most people find easy, why it is a constant battle to stay afloat, to have people angry with you/criticising you for something that you both feel should be in your control, but neurologically isn’t.

ADHD is so severly misunderstood. It’s invisible and it is crippling. The image of the little boy in class who can’t sit still or stop talking is such a prevalent and damaging stereotype. Before I got my diagnosis and before I even had looked into ADHD, I spent hours researching what could be wrong with me and doing online ‘tests’. These ranged from anxiety, to depression, Bipolar, PMDD and Personality Disorders, (strangely enough, ADHD often exists alongside other mental illnesses and I was diagnosed with co-morbidities…) But I think this gives a degree of context to what undiagnosed ADHD feels like, because it’s not someone who wont shut up, or sit still. To me it feels like everyone else got a manual on how to be a person and I didn’t. Often times, it’s the depressed, anxious, struggling teenager or young adult, who feels so inadequate, who feels like an alien, who can’t even trust their own passions or interests. Who is in a constant battle to meet the expectations of themselves and those around them. Who’s socially awkward or uncomfortable, who’s disocciated, who can’t follow a conversation, or instructions, who suffers in loud spaces, who struggles with small talk, strangers, shopping centres, keeping themselves and their space clean, uni work, school work, chores, family, friendships, relationships, their identity, their passions, there interests, their personality, regualating their emotions

ADHD is so exhausting, because it’s a constant battle to just meet the base line. Every thing you do from the moment you get up, til the moment you are asleep (and even then) is impacted by it.

Say you have an assignment, and a couple of chores to do on one day. Not a big deal right? Ok so you set an alarm for 8am, except your brain didn’t turn off until 4am the night before, so you get up at mid day, you go to put the washing in, but you forgot to turn on yesterdays load, so you do that first, you go to make a morning coffee, you check the time, it’s 12.30 - where did half an hour go? I just got up?! (Time-blindness). You make your coffee and drink it while checking social media, which sucks you in, because your dopamine depleted brain craves stimuli! You check the time, its 1pm, you tell yourself you’ll scroll for ten more minutes, and that ten minute excuse repeats a few times. It’s 1.30 and now your angry, because why didn’t you have the self control! (Hint: you have a disordered executive function). You put your mug on the sink, promising you’ll come back to it later. You go back to the laundry, you realise you forgot to turn the dryer on. You go to do your assignment, you clear your desk, open laptop, but now you don’t know where to start - you can’t naturally prioritise tasks, or break down the individual steps that need to be done in order to complete an assignment, you must do this with the ‘skills’ you have actively had to learn from a coach, internet etc. It’s like trying to bake a cake with no measuring cups, or recipe! So now you are looking at the assessment outline, and what you’ve worked on already, and trying to close last nights 200 tabs of hyperfixation. You read the outline 5 times without actually reading it, on the 6th you try really hard, you’re fidgeting in your chair, it’s an almost physical pain having to sit there and read it. Your eyes feel glazy, there’s too many words and they look like a big smudge on the page. You quickly check messages (dopamine hit), you come back to the outline. Its been half an hour, you still haven’t started. It’s about 2pm, you havent had lunch or breakfast. You go make a tea and come back. Maybe you need backround music? You spend another 20 minutes finding the right playlist, except its not right because it’s either too stimulating or not stimulating enough. You find another playlist, or you go down the rabbit whole of some movie soundtrack you’ve been meaning to look at. It’s 2.45. The washing! You go back and finally get yesterdays load in the dryer and start the load you meant to do today. Might as well make another tea now that I’m up. Might as well check Facebook now I’ve been interrupted. I’ll start at 3.30. 3.30 rolls around, your sibling gets home from school. Noise, talking, lunchbox rattling, bags being unpacked. Distraction. The noise is painful, your executive function (the impaired part of the ADHD brain) is also responsible for emotional regulation. Suddenly you are so fiercly angry at the noise being made in the rest of the house. It’s so over stimulating it feels like sandpaper on your brain and ears, you feel sick to your stomach with rage, you are crying, sobbing. All because people in the other room are talking. You lay on your bed trying to calm the overwhelm and increasing stress at not having done your assignment. It’s 4pm. Mum asks why you left your mug out, or didn’t do the dishes (you were too busy thinking about doing the washing!) She notes the machine still going and tells you that you wont have time to put it in the dryer tonight, you’ll have to do it tomorrow. But you need those clothes for tomorrow, you’re having breakfast with a friend. You’ll have to reschedule. You message your friend, and repeat the standard script “god I am so sorry, I’m such a mess, can we do later in the morning? I’ve got to do chores…” they can’t reschedule, you cancel. You sit back down with the assignment. You fidget. It feels like a physical pain to have to sit there and force yourself to do it. You’ll do it tomorrow. You pack up, and get ready for bed, removing the pile on your bed back to your desk. Your sheets are unmade, it’s uncomfortable and you feel agitated. You’ve forgotten to brush your teeth, or clean your face. You scroll online, or hyperfocus on a new hobby, project, idea, that wont interest you tomorrow, until 3am. You set your alarm for 8am…

This is just one small example and snapshot of ADHD and the impact of Executive Dysfunction. Here are a couple of examples/descriptions of how it feels from the ADHD subreddit.

“Schrodinger’s ADHD: Everything is interesting and boring at the same time. Every subject, every hobby.”

‘The Two ADHD Moods: I can’t do it / I can’t stop doing it. The two types of ADHD time: Now / Not Now The two ADHD memory modes: I literally can not recall the words that just came out of my mouth / I can recite the opening paragraph of every single magic tree house book.’

I also want to talk Neurodivergence, as this is another misconception when it comes to ADHD. In the way that Autism, Tourettes, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia are all forms of neurodivergence, so is ADHD. ADHD is not a behavoural issue, but a neurobiological developmental disorder. ADHD also has many overlapping traits with Autism, (not to be confused as the same, ADHD is not on the spectrum). These include, sensory overwhelm/sensitivity, memory issues, hyperfocus/hyperfixation, interrupting conversation/trouble waiting in turn, issues reading/recognising social cues, stimming, perseveration, (getting ‘stuck’ on or repeating a thought, topic or idea, even if the conversation has moved on), and avoidance/trouble with eye contact.

To be clear, ADHD is not on the spectrum, a distinguishing feature between these neurotypes is the cause of the symptom. For example someone with ADHD may not recognise social cues due to inattention/overwhelm/impulsivity, where as someone with autism may struggle to interpret these social cues.

It is important for ADHD to be recognised as a neurotype, and not a behavoural issue. When discussing ADHD traits with a neurotypical person, the response is often along the lines of ‘well everyone is a little distracted/unmotivated/lazy/forgetful/late sometimes.’ My response to that ‘Would you say that everyone is a bit ‘socially awkward/shy’ sometimes to an autistic person? Or ‘everyone has trouble reading sometimes’ to a dyslexic person?’ I imagine the answer would be no, as it is understood that these traits are a consistent, uncontrollable and debilitating.

The more I have learnt and read about ADHD in the context of neurodivergence, the more I have tried to recognise the ways I hide or detract from my symptoms, by ‘masking’. This has included, taking on certain personas or feeding someone elses assumption about me as ‘the messy one,’ ‘the disorganised one,’ ‘the chaotic one.’ In the past I have almost embraced these stereotypes about myself, as it gave me a sense of identity, a framework with which to see and understand myself. Frustration and anger masked over-stimulation/overwhelm, I was not able to recognise the root of these feelings and I also learnt to fidget/stim in the ‘right’ way. When engaging in small talk with someone I am unfamiliar with, I often resort to mimicing or imitating how I have seen other people interact, speak etc and I am conscious of eye contact, (too much, too little?). I catch myself looking at people/staring too much and am constantly trying to gauge what the right amount is, where else to look, etc. I struggle a lot with taking turns in convesation, as I don’t always know where to interject, or I worry I will forget the thought, this has led me to just stay silent instead in conversations and present myself as serious, or elusive.

That’s really all I have to say for today. I think overall ADHD is far more complex and challenging than it is perceived to be, and these stereotypes are so harmful to people who have it and are trying to navigate not only their symptoms, but a world that is not understanding nor knowledgeable of the limitations and struggles of ADHD or neurodivergence.

I have a lot more to say on all this and will try and write more about this going forward. DM/comment etc if you have any thoughts or criticism of anything I have said. Disclaimer, I am still learning and may make mistakes regarding information, or discussing other neurotypes !

Here are some links you might want to check out if you have/think you have ADHD or you have a friend or family member with ADHD. I also highly, highly recommend the ADHD subreddit!

ADHD explained simply:

https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-adhd-symptoms-causes-treatments/

“ADHD is a developmental impairment of the brain’s executive functions. People with ADHD have trouble with impulse-control, focusing, and organization.

“’Attention deficit’ is, some experts assert, a misleading name. “Attention deregulation” might be a more accurate description since most people with ADHD have more than enough attention — they just can’t harness it in the right direction at the right time with any consistency.”

Comorbidities https://adhd-institute.com/burden-of-adhd/epidemiology/comorbidities/ “The majority of adults with ADHD have a diagnosed or undiagnosed comorbid psychiatric disorder, which can complicate diagnosis and treatment of ADHD.1-3“ ADHD and Autism https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/decoding-overlap-autism-adhd/ “A growing number of genetic studies support the notion of at least some shared causation between autism and ADHD. But imaging studies comparing brain structures and connectivity have yielded a confusing mix of similarities and differences. And some behavioral research has highlighted the possibility that outwardly similar features mask distinct underlying mechanisms. Inattention in a person with autism, for example, might result from sensory overload, and apparent social problems in someone with ADHD may reflect impulsivity. Perseveration https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/common-challenges/self-control/perseveration-adhd-and-learning-differences

“(Kids) who perseverate often say the same thing or behave in the same way over and over again. And they do it past the point where it makes sense or will change anything. It’s like they’re stuck in a loop that they can’t get out of.”

ADHD and social skills https://chadd.org/for-adults/relationships-social-skills/#:~:text=Social%20Skills%20in%20Adults%20with,their%20inattention%2C%20impulsivity%20and%20hyperactivity.

“Social skills are generally acquired through incidental learning: watching people, copying the behavior of others, practicing, and getting feedback. Most people start this process during early childhood. Social skills are practiced and honed by “playing grown-up” and through other childhood activities. The finer points of social interactions are sharpened by observation and peer feedback.

Children with ADHD often miss these details. They may pick up bits and pieces of what is appropriate but lack an overall view of social expectations. Unfortunately, as adults, they often realize “something” is missing but are never quite sure what that “something” may be.”

ADHD and stimming https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/adhd/repetitive-behaviors-in-children-with-adhd-stimming-fidgeting-and-what-these-actions-may-mean/

“Many believe that stimming and fidgeting is reserved for those on the autism spectrum. However, it is now known that children with ADHD are just as likely to use repetitive body movements to self-stimulate. In fact, autistic stimming and non-autistic stimming are different. The main difference is that those with ADHD typically only use stimming for a short period of time while they are trying to concentrate. For example, someone with ADHD may stim for under an hour while those with autism will stim for several hours at a time. While stimming and fidgeting are typically seen as tapping or rocking, there are many other things that children with ADHD do to self-stimulate. There are actually five different variations of stimming, which include olfactory, vestibular, visual, tactile, and auditory.”

#adhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

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masterserris · 5 years ago

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the rise of skywalker = good

spoilers under cut you were warned

we love sheev the movie

best movie? no. room for improvement? yes. a really good movie overall and the characters were good and made overall good/decently logical choices? absolutely.

fin good. i love him. and the obvious hint he can use the force is 10/10 he did so much work in this movie. i like poe/fin or rey/fin. or all three together, fuck it, they all hugged in the end anyways

poe is good he’s a good boy him and finn are so good. poe gets a lot of development and care and we love that he struggles but loves his friends and wins in the end by believing in others to come. (he did think they lost but only for a second. he was proven right that people would come. thanks lando we appreciate you here.)

rey is amazing and her growth/struggle is great i love that she’s a palpatine that’s so metal. and she stays good oough yess. palpatine wins in the end? or at least A palpatine? the only survivor? no more sith OR jedi. just. rey palpatine and any other new force users like fin. FINALLLY, evil wins! kinda lmao hahhaahhaha

i like how technically the series stared with palpatine and ended with rey.

it started with a slave child in the desert (anakin) who became dark, and ended with a child soldier in the dark who became light at the end (ben)

the sheev-ening. we love emperor step peppers. he’s so good in this. force storm ya’ll!!

“hiS pLaN MakEs nO sEnSe!!1!”

shut tf up. either he possesses rey once she killed him, or he sucks the life outta her and restores himself once he found out about that bond power with ben or force healing whatever it was if she refused (like he did), or just kills her and sends his troops out to take everything over like. that’s not a bad plan bro. he wins either way. the only reason he lost is because the dummy killed himself with his own force lighting (AGAIN, DIDNT YOU LEARN FROM EPISODE 3 OLD MAN????). she did not strike him down, she defended. he killed himself, technically. she pulled a luke in that sense. it was not the jedi way. (though i guess by the end she is neither sith nor jedi)

plus he made an armada in secret the man was geared for success and had access to cloning tech too, as shown by snoke. if he couldnt have rey, he would have cloned himself or some shit. he has space voodoo, the man is scary and i love him for it.

ben was. ok. kylo was much more intimidating and straight forward with his actions at least. and ben switching sides made sense. what i didnt like was his ending very much. why tf did he and rey kiss????? they were enemies for 2 and 3/4 movies. they didnt even speak until he showed up to help fight palpatine.

there is a bit of tension but not romantic whatever, he just poofed once he resurrected rey anyways. rip all skywalkers 2019

she is an adopted skywalker and that’s nice.

side tangent bc i’ve been seeing some fans crying over ben’s death, which i get it if you are a big fan of him:

((i guess i was just way more invested into rey as a character than ben solo. he was. there. he was alright, i could see the struggle but the tone-shift from TLJ really threw things wack and i just ended up not caring too much when he died unforntuately. i wish i did more. i mean it was sad, it would have been neat if he lived, but i kinda saw it coming as soon as rey “died”

im like, oh, he’s gonna climb up bc of course he’s fine and then save her since he saw her use force healing, so he’s gonna try it. he’s resurrecting the dead so it’s either gonna kill him or really make him weak. we got the former so. yeah. it was anticipated kinda. leia dying was much more emotional for me i guess. the love between her and her son was way more impactful than ben and rey.

like i said!! they were enemies for so long!! he tried to reach out, but he was a slimey dark side bitch who was trying to convert her and she knew it and wasnt down with that shit!! that aint romantic ya’ll!! christ! he was only good for 20 minutes before he died and they didnt even talk before he just showed up! if they had more time really getting into it and if he was good and reached out to her to talk, that would have been way better and more convincing is all im saying.

sure they fought together on snoke’s ship and talked, but it was still very. scary for rey. and then he attacked her friends and rebellion again! bitch, why did she kiss him!?

nothing against reylo shippers, i really dont care, that’s your business, i personally enjoy fin/rey much more, im just saying it seems forced in this situation. they tried to kill each other so many times. that’s animosity, not love.))

WHERE WAS ANAKIN AND OBI FORCE GHOST UGH. at least we got all of the voices of the jedi past helping rey in the climax that was awesome (including jin, obi, yoda, anakin, luke, leia, ect)

yeah also rip leia. she should have died in the second movie but she was good in this and it really hit the feels since carrie is... dead for real.

luke was good in this!!!! helpful boy!!! nice boy!!! i liked the flash back to when he trained leia it was so sweet to see them young again, if only for a moment.

the han solo scene was good ough my heart.

all of the character’s choices were overall good and made sense in the scheme of things, everything was streamlined bc it had to be.

it kinda felt like 2 movies crammed into 1 but it kinda worked and that makes sense bc of TLJ’s.... choices and changes in direction.

i dont think this movie was a train wreck. it’d place it as my 3rd fav star wars movie. for now, i may shift things around but you get the idea.

my current rankings so far for main line live action sw movies

(rogue one would be at 4 along with revenge of the sith and i didnt care enough to see solo.)

1. empire strikes back (obvious pick)

2. a new hope (luke is best boy)

3. rise of skywalker (as listed above)

4. revenge of the sith (clone wars show really got me to like older anakin. and obi is just. 10/10 in general. speaking of generals, i love grievous. and commander rex. rip all clones and jedi tho. F)

5/6. return of the jedi/force awakens (about even)

[the thing about return of the jedi is that the ending whole section with the death star and vader and palpatine and the struggle against jabba were really good! it just a lot of other stuff is... meh in the film]

7. the last jedi (sorry had to do it to ya. also rip Phasma)

8/9. phantom menace/attack of the clones (ya’ll know why)

im so glad im rewatching the clone wars show it was so good and oughghghg so good. i love the clones so damn much and everyone so much

star wars good ya’ll

anyways, i already loved palpatine and im just wildin’ right now we love a emperor. a queen. a bad bitch you cant kill. just vibin. like damn, iconic. he said “do it” and everything. a meme legend and godsend

in sheev we trust. you belong with sheev. real sheev hours. the sheev-ening. palpatine-ception. you name it, we vibe with it

NOW I WANT A NICE AU WHERE THE CHARACTERS LIVE AND PALPATINE IS JUST A GRANDDAD. scary but nice granddad to rey or some shit. anakin is still around, they are all still around. just silly fun alright?

LMFAO ROTTEN TOMATOES PUTS IT AT A 56% BUT HAS AN AUDIENCE RATHING OF 86% WTF LMFAOOOO THESE PEOPLE ARE HACKS

the reverse of TLJ and i can see why the stupid irony lmFAO

the “thank you rian johnson” tag trending on twitter is wack and it’s dumb. his movie was dumb ya’ll. that’s my take and im not alone. im not some crazy hardcore fan either nor do i care that much about the politics or what ever. the characters in TLJ made REALLY dumb decisions that got their butts kicked and people killed over and over and it was not fun to watch everyone being dumb and dying, alright? wack. bad vibes.

i didn’t care for the “thank you jj abrams” tag either bc both tags ended up just being one taking pot-shots at the other and it was full of nasty vibes. just a lot of negative bullshit and only a few good comments just saying what they liked about those movies. i appreciate when people just say they like something. even if it’s something i PERSONALLY dont like, it’s neat to see. but when people bitch and moan, even if i agree personally, it isnt that fun. it’s annoying as hell, esp if it’s mostly unfounded or just repeated a million times.

like months later, or also about something from years ago, people still havent shut up about it. that’s when i get pissed off. like, sure, hate something. say you hate it, whatever. your blog your platform, go off queen, but then shut up please and dont drag it out forever. people dont like negativity so expect people to leave your ass behind if you keep at it. or get blocked or whatever.

negative shit all the time just aint a good look is all im saying. just love what you love and show it. it’s nice. the good part about fandoms is sharing love for media.

but hey, it’s your life. you do whatever, who am i to say anything?

#spoilers #the rise of skywalker #star wars #private

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positivefishglub · 7 years ago

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Good Morning!

Two Apps I Suggest!

Hey guys I wanted to show you guys two apps I use on a daily basis for self care. Im super bad at remembering to do simple things, even more so while im at work so these help me a lot and I thought they might help you too!

Keep in mind I use android, im unsure if they are on all platforms

1)Water Reminder-Water Tracker & Drink Water Healthy

Yeesh long name but it says it all! This app helps you track your water intake throughout the day and you can set reminders to be sure you dont forget!

You set it up by putting in your gender and weight and how active you are (sadly there isnt a non binary option but maybe a future update?) As well as when you get up in the morning normally and when you go to bed.

The time you put in to go to bed it will send you an alert that it has white noise music ready for you to listen to so you can get ready to sleep, but ive noticed they all seem to not loop correctly so instead I use the second app ill talk about in a moment.

This app also leaves a constant notification on your phone and you can add in water from it. But there is a way to turn it off!

Overall id give it probably about a 8/10? I really enjoy the water aspect but theres updates that could be made to the music part, but its a great app!

2)Tide

This is an app I use in place of the music in the first app. Usually I go to bed earlier than everyone else in my house due to my job and since my rooms on the bottom floor I hear every step of my family and our fuzzy friends (5 dogs!) Ill usually sleep with headphones on at night so I dont hear anything, or just have it playing without headphones

You have a choice between a sleep timer (you can customize the time) or a nap timer, (it has set ones for 15, 30 and 60 minutes, but you can customize it too)

Theres a few diffrent sound option to choose from, some you have to pay for but you get Storm (My favorite), Night, Stream, Muse, Supper, Her City, and Journey for free. The paid ones are Stove Fire (.99 cents), Spring Rain (1.99), Ocean (.99 cents), Flight (1.99) and Train (.99 cents).

At some point during the night it turns the sound off but the alarm it sets with what time you wake up stays.

It also has a whole meditation/focus area of the app I havent even looked at yet, but if its as good as the rest of the app itll be great.

Also on the home page it has super nice quotes each day. For example today it says "Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. -Rock Band, Coldplay"

It also has a lovely aestetic to it, its very simple but colorful and cute.

This overall gets a solid 9/10, I love the set up and choices, a few mre would be nice buts great as is. Since I havent used the meditation/focus area of it k, not including that but maybe ill update this with a review for that part.

But yeah thats all for this good morning post, ive been away from this blog on and off (yet again lol) but I cant be sure it wont happen again just due to time and energy but im gonna try to check it more often, and start shedueling post on my days off so its still something to brighten your day a little!

In other news we almost reached 2,000! Thats crazy! Again im sorry I havent been as active but thank you so much for staying! Maybe eventually ill do a contest if we hit something but im not sure yet. If you guys have any ideas let me know what youd like to see! While im not good at digital art, as you can tell by our little purple mascot, im great at arts and crafts (id show you some but theyre posted on my main too I think and im super secret mod ;D unless im not then whoops haha!)

Anyways I hope you guys have a good day! Stay positive!

#positivity #positive #self care #self love #motivation #self care reminder #app review #positive fish #mod speaks #drink water #sleep #meditation

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mindovermilitante · 6 years ago

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Morning Ritual Day 2

Good-morning All,

Before we start today I am going to go ahead and try to make this blog post as correct and grammatically error free as possible. However seeing as I struggled to spell “good-morning” im sure this will still probably be crap English. Sorry once again but I must continue on. Ive been thinking a little about this blogs format and how often I will be updating my “journey” and although I do want to make the commitment to post every day, i do want to try and post multiple days if the occasion does arise. I see this blog as a potential escape or a funnel of some sorts to really expel what im feeling at the moment. I guess if you're reading this or if im reading this in the future you can be the audience looking into my life. Potentially acting not only as an audience member but even someone to vent to, preach to, or even gain understanding from. Lastly i want to preface by sayin that i want these to be public knowledge. I think hiding all of these emotions and feelings in my life for what seemed like forever wasn't quite different from when its put in a private folder in my computer. But alas i digress and so begins the blog post for day 2 of my journey into getting my life back...

This morning I awoke with an uneasy feeling both in my mind and my stomach. the day was about to start and so was my journey into “whatever it would lead me to”. As I stretched around and hugged my girlfriend as she made her way into the shower I began to structure my day based on what needed to be done.

“okay nathan you're going on your morning walk. keep it light, but maybe add some distance. when you get back lets make some breakfast. Possibly two eggs with spinach some avocados and blue berries. Ya thats sounds great for the beginning meal for the day. Oh also remember to grab some snacks for the day to keep you going until lunch.”

At this point my girlfriend had already left for work and i was left alone in the room. Now at this point it really is a decision for me to get up or hit that snooze button 5 times. Not going to lie i hit it one time but got up as soon as the second alarm hit. I put on some nice sweat pants and a comfy sweatshirt, filled up my hydro flask with cold water, and put on a video of Tony Robbins. I believe todays topic talked about “understanding what you want in your life”. If you havent heard about Tony i highly recommend listening to a couple of his seminars because they are incredibly worth the the listen. And so i was off on my walk from this point on.

Now back in my hard running days i usually had a solid route i would take that i was fairly used to. Something that I could constantly improve on and soemthing that to me could be constant. But in a quite opposite fashion I went the other way hoping for at least an ounce of change in my life. I should probably preface by saying that I live in a place where we do have four seasons (kinda) and fall was the season just starting. The cold weather on my skin, and the smell of morning dew helped me focus on the walk at hand. As I was walking ahead i focused on the seminar i was listening to through my headphones. I cant remember to much about what was said but the main points i got from it were building a tradition or somewhat of a habit to better ones life.

And that hit me. I think for the longest time i had been developing these wrong habits and ultimately was steering myself into the ground.

Hitting snooze on the alarms to bypass my runs

Going out to eat when I could cook at home

Finding time to relax and letting things play out

Eating unhealthy and not portioning meals

skipping meals all together

brushing off new adventures just because they cant fit in my schedule

I think its one thing to say we have a bat habit, but to have a plethora of bad habits can ultimately lead us down a road of failure. But what about the good habits? I think ever since we are little we a programmed to think of habits as bad things? Well why does it have to be a bad things. Why cant a habit be a good thing. something you're absolutely fixated on and potentially obsessed with can make you a better person in the end. I think so habits need to be looked upon more.So on my walk i developed some habits that i need to start following. They are as listed

Wake up early to walk( run in the future until Blood pressure is situated). Walk for even30 minutes. Figure out a new route every time or maybe increase the distance you walk

Start eating healthier and practice proper portion control. Incorporate a wide variety of vegetable. Dont be afraid to skimp out on the red meat and go for the vegetarian meal.

Drink water and dont stop drinking water. Add a couple lemons or other fruits to it to add somewhat of a flavor profile.

Talk to your girlfriend, friends, and family more about whats going on in their lives and my life as well. Friendships are built on conversations and it starts wit opening up to them about how you are doing.

Start understanding things come as they must. Life is filled with ups and downs. Understanding how to enjoy them is the goal. Trying to understand why something happens will get you now where in life.

Meditate. Even for 15 minutes. Practice on your breathing and understand that you are in control of how you breath and the stress you put on your body. Clear all thoughts in your mind and understand that your body needs to take a break.

Habits define who we are and can lead the bridges to how our goals are accomplished. Before I knew it i had already walked a fair distance away from my house. I had absolutely no clue where I was. But yet I found myself at ease. As i began my walk back to my home i stopped and looked around. Ive been doing this thing lately where I will focus on three things. For todays list it was a school, a corner house, and some school kids playing around. I dont know why I focused myself on these things but it happened. As i continued on i felt myself feeling something i had not felt in awhile.

A high of some sorts. The type of high you would only get after a hard run. Had a really gotten myself to the point where a walk would give me that feeling. Or maybe it was because my body had thanked me for getting out of the house.

“Maybe im on to something”

I say this to myself feeling great, but slowly the anxiety comes back. I know im on to something but in time it will tell fi that something works out. Until then im here for it.

As i prepared my breakfast the idea of going back to work kept coming up. What would it be like to be back in the clinic. would it be the same. would I like it again after all of this. Case in point... I dont know if I will but I have to make a change. not necessarily a change in occupation but a change in “habit”. A habit to do good agin to understand that im changing the loves of everyone around me and those people I do meet in the medical field. Thinking about all that made me realize i love what i do. But what i need to do is different from cutting out the thing i do already and changing them. Wow that was a little strange to type but okay. haha.

As i finished my breakfast headed into the shower i took my blood pressure. For me blood pressure can be read as the force being imprinted on your arterial wall and heart walls. This pressure reading can be an indicator for a lot of things; stress, diabetes, hyper tensions, heart failure. The list goes on and on. Currently based on medical standards a normal reading should be under 120/80. This implies the heart and arteries are working at its normal functions. When I checked into the doctors my blood pressure reading was around 140/90. Yesterday my blood pressure reading was 136/ 85. This morning at 820am

117/82

Now i thought to myself this cant be right? how can it lower so drastically over night. Im sure its due to my heart resting after a work out or the drastic food diet i have been eating. But I do think in part, its because of stress. Managing my stress is a main part of me getting back to my old self. Now do i believe that its fixed... oh god no... its going to be a long journey. But until that day comes.

Im going to be okay...

Thank you for listening :)

#depression #anxeity #mental health #positivity #takingmylifeback #running #walking #purpose #habits #its going to be okay

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