#i havent read this one yet bc i know im going to want to read it all in one go
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hella1975 · 2 years ago
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ur making it pretty hard to not be curious about aftg like what is going on can you infodump ur worst to me
so basically it's about a guy called neil who's not actually called neil bc turns out he's the son of a HIGHLY abusive mafia hitman and him and his mother have been running from this guy for years which ofc means changes in identity and a SHIT ton of issues ranging from good old fashioned paranoia to lighting cigarettes not to smoke them but to let them burn down bc the smell reminds you of your mother's burning corpse. but neil is obsessed and i mean OBSESSED with this made up sport called exy which is like lacrosse but with the violence of ice hockey and he joins a pro-team despite aforementioned ABUSIVE MAFIA DAD AFTER HIM and guess what! the guy who signed him is called kevin and his ex-team are affiliated with the mafia too! including neil's dad! neil just screwed himself over big time! but who cares when you have exy! enter: andrew minyard. andrew is a blonde, 5ft, ex-juvie, under-court-surveillance-for-grevious-bodily-harm goalkeeper currently working unofficially as kevin's bodyguard and, while we never get an actual diagnosis bc god forbid we handle mental health properly in this thing, it's implied that he has some kind of psychosis and, as part of his plea bargain, is legally obgligated to take incredibly mood-altering medication that makes him manic in exchange for being allowed to stay on the team (aka with kevin who he's VERY possessive of), done entirely for the wellbeing of those around him and effectively against andrew's will. does he stick to that deal? fuck no! but it doesn't stop there! andrew proceeds to spend the entire book being as violent and unpredictable and generally cunty as possible in order to figure out What Neil's Deal Is bc neil is capital S Shifty and andrew is convinced he's from kevin's old mafia cult team trying to hurt him. we spend an entire book watching the three of them wrestle between neil's paranoia, andrew's protectiveness and kevin's desire to Please Can We Just Play Exy. there are some keys involved. someone dies. there are two more books. inexplicably two of the characters can speak fluent german purely from high school classes.
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toytulini · 1 year ago
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mental health just straight up plummeting
#toy txt post#everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair#constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point#whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into#a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so#much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one#so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad#and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why#i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point#every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of#reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know#like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food#service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and#all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just#wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and#between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so#now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead#trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the#point#vent#ig#i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not#functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep#and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends#not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this#i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get#lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking#distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying#anyway. thats how im doing. bye
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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iwtv is rly getting to me 😭 I feel sooo bad for claudia no one tell me anything bc idk the book lore + I dont want spoilers but istg she's gonna kill herself in that theatre fire...
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rassicas · 8 months ago
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hi guys! im back. i went tokyo for a few days. got back at 7 this morning after taking an overnight 7 hour bus ride.... that i did not sleep on bc i cant sleep in moving vehicles. this will be something closer to a proper blog post i guess. splatoon related convention? experience below
i've kept my mouth shut about my plans to go because its not as well known on the english side of the fanbase and i didnt wanna make people too jealous sorry LOL , but i went to splaket 22! it's an unofficial, splatoon-only doujinshi market/artists alley. this was my first convention-sort-of event ive been to since i was... in high school. i also dont really get to meet many other hardcore splatoon fans irl. i was nervous about it because i don't know a whole lot of people on the JP side nor do i have a lot of confidence in my japanese speaking/listening, but in the end it was SUPER fun. i wish i couldve talked a bit more to the artists i did encounter to comment on what i liked about their works but. Skill Issue very few non-japanese people at this event of course but one of the only english speakers i saw i called out to bc they were wearing a shirt with this exact image printed on it no video and no photos outside of designated areas were allowed so i got like. zero pics of my own. but there was a lot of cosplayers i saw! oh and here's the Loot Haul. a few doujin, a clear file, stickers, microfiber cloth and a keychain. im surprised at how little i got, i think i shouldve gone a bit crazier with it
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the one with Tao Blu and oonie in the top left (by sachikazerick) I came across by chance and bought because it was cute, featured splatband characters, and also because it all in some familiar inkling language (the last point of which i told the artist as i was buying) when i finally got home and saw the back credits...
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SMALL FUCKIN WORLD LOL (i tweeted at the artist afterwards to let him know i came by the table and to thank him for using me and my friend's inkling language fonts!) though truly, i think ardnin deserved the credit more rather than me since he made most of those fonts! ah well, still cool to see more and more fan works using deciphered inkling language. top middle book is a story with some salmonid characters that i havent read yet but im looking forward to it, the art is lovely. top right one was the first thing i bought. the artist is rk_splaworks, whose art i love, and we've been mutuals for a few years and have talked a bit here and there! i was so fucking nervous to meet them in person since my japanese sucks LMAO but they were happy to meet me too and we got a selfie together yippy <3 also havent read their doujin Yet since ill have to rub all my brain cells together and huddle over the dictionary, but i want their oc lore
ok that's all i'll say, next splaket is...june 22. very soon....im already thinking ill. go again. yknow. while im still in japan and all that. i guess ill have to study harder on my jp in the meantime teehee ...i doubt it, but in the off chance anyone following me is going to the next splaket in june lemme know!
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starry-bi-sky · 11 months ago
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ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.
RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.
(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)
(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")
Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.
and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,
and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!
i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.
Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.
And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.
And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.
there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.
and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.
Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.
and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.
Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.
Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.
Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.
Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#cfau#childhood friends au#danny and jason are such best friends i love them so much#BUT YEAH ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT CFAU I'LL SCREAM#AND THEN TRY AND ANSWER THEM TO MY BEST ABILITY#like i could go on RANTS almost SPECIFICALLY about rath (dan) and then about jason and danny#and their friendship like i've thought about this au with a combined soulmate au and immediately hated the idea because no!#no! i can't call them soulmates. i can't it doesnt fit. their bond goes DEEPER than that. its *better* than that#this wasn't written in the stars it was forged in the back alley streets of gotham with all the broken glass under their feet#and the smell of nicotine weaving itself into the fabrics of their shirts. their souls aren't intertwined because the universe said so#they're two balls of yarn tangled together because they batted it at each other and decided to play cats cradle. and then never bothered#to untangle the string from one another. you'll never know where one ends and the other begins#i actually have a cfau miscellaneous facts post in my drafts that i need to finish too and i might do that today because of this ask <33#the fastest way to starry's heart is through her ask box#asking me questions about my aus is the fastest way to make me make more content about them ajshld#see: clone^2 (i've been coasting off the fanart i got from them for the last two days) and now this#i need to stop more before i start waxing more poetic about jason and danny's bond with one another.#also also jason is equally as feral about danny as danny is about him (see: him plotting joker's demise since he was 14) its just not#showing as much since a lot of this is from danny's pov. like dw this isn't one-sided obsession its mutual.#see: jason seeing danny's scars and immediately wanting to find out who caused it and getting murderously angry about it#its not a starry post unless its long#idk maybe im just obsessed with the idea that relationships are chosen and forged with time and that the bonds we have arent because they#were predetermined but because we made them to be. Like how clone^2 said 'i choose to be brothers' and how danny and jason said#'i choose you. i will always choose you. you're my other half. the one who watches my back. i choose you.'
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months ago
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im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall
(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)
im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.
being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers
i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)
im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me
i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings
hi anon,
there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list
1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.
2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.
would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!
anyway moving on
3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?
4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.
5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.
6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.
you're so normal, calm down, I love you
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artstatues · 6 months ago
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Tahiti? - a.k.g × j.w.h
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wc : 622
pairings : avery grambs x jameson hawthorne, from the inheritance games.
synopis : avery has been reading hate comments, way too much lately and letting it get to her heart. constantly comparing herself to jameson's exes, where to one day, it leads to a fight with jameson.
a/n : this is long and angsty asf but its basically js back and forth and back and forth and im being lazy so im like combining 2 things together that is: the arguing req that anon @lxvebelle ( also sorry that it isnt their first fight ) and the anon req on my page for angsty averyjameson. this was 80% inspired by @x-liv25-jamieswife. this is like somewhere in the early stages but not so early that jamie already created tahiti bc theyve fought before. and and i havent read tig in awhile and im sorry if i mischaracterized them 😭 but enjoy nonetheless <3
requested tag : @pockyyasii
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It was late at night when Jameson decided to check on Avery. “Heiress, you alright?” Jameson walked in the room while Avery stared at her phone, sitting on their bed. He closed the door behind him. Her eyes scanned the screen, making it seem like she was reading. It’s been a minute, or over, and she still hasn’t replied, or even acknowledged Jamie’s presence. “Avery? Are you okay?” Jamie repeated, louder. “Do you think I deserve you?” Avery finally looked up from the phone. “Yes, of course, if anything, I don’t deserve you, Avery.” Jameson stepped closer to the bed before eventually sitting on it. “Avery, look at me, I’m serious.” Jameson looked at her before tilting her chin up, forcing her to tear her gaze from the phone. “Yeah, I’m- I’m alright, don’t worry.” She stammered, yet a smile was still plastered on her gorgeous face. “You’re hiding something, yeah?” Jamie raised an eyebrow. “No, never,” That pretty smile was still on her face, even if her eyes didn’t meet Jameson’s since he tilted her chin up. “Heiress, please? I don’t want to argue about keeping things from each other again.” Jameson’s gaze softened. “I didn’t say we should argue.” Avery whispered, gaze still on the bedsheets. Jameson didn’t say anything. Her tone was bitter, but also soft. He could tell she didn’t want to argue. “What are you reading?” Jameson took a glance at her screen, but from the angle he was looking at, it was pure black. “Did you change your screen protector?” Jameson asked. He felt like he was nagging Avery but he’d do everything to make sure they didn’t have to fight, again. “Yea.” She replied, her tone with a hint of being annoyed. “Heiress, please, let me see?” Jameson was begging now. Rarely would he beg. “I’m reading comments! Okay? Comments from articles, videos, anything, everything!” Her voice raised. Jameson only stared at her. “Avery.” He warned her. “No-! Don’t warn me, Jameson. I’m not hiding anything, okay? I told you, I’m reading comments.” Avery snapped, harsher, causing her to get up from the bed, phone in her iron grip, the other hand in a fist. And Jameson knows that her nails are digging into her palm. He knows too damn well. During arguments like these, Jameson tried his fucking hardest to be the bigger person and try to resolve it, but he didn’t think it was going to work tonight. “So many people think I don’t deserve you! That I’m ugly- and compared to your exes, I think I agree.” Avery half yelled, tears forming in her eyes. “Don’t say that. I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve seen, Avery, really. I don’t think, I know.” Jameson tried to explain, trying to keep a steady tone. “No- you, don’t say that! You’re trying to please me and get this over with.” Avery was yelling now. “Your exes were all prettier than me Jameson. You don’t get it!” Avery yelled. They were making full eye contact now. He took her gaze for granted on the bed but screw that. “I don’t get it, really, you’re right. I don’t, but I think you’re still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, let alone be mine.” Jameson’s voice got louder without intention. “Do you think the same?” Avery whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. “No. Never.” Jameson choked out, eyes still on Avery. A tear rolled on Avery’s cheek. Jameson strode to her too fast, hands already on her. “Hey, hey, tahiti? Shh, don’t cry, please don’t” His thumb quickly wiped the tear as he hugged her, hugged her so tight that he could’ve stayed like that forever. “I love you, Heiress. You and you only.”
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lyrakanefanatic · 5 months ago
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OKAY THERE ARE SOME NEW LYRA CHAPTERS ON THE INDIGO APP SO IF YOU HAVENT CHECKED THAT OUT YET THEN SPOILER WARNING BELOW BC IM GONNA GO OVER SMTH:
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OKAY, SO THIS IS WHEN LYRA GETS THE INVITATION TO THE GRANDEST GAME, AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY, WHY DOES THIS NOTE SOUND SO PREDATORY?? 😭😭
MY GUESS IS ITS GRAYSON WHO SENT IT, (because of the “dark blue ink”, since dark blues his colour, and the fact that only he really knew about her) SINCE HE PROBABLY GOT ZABROWKSI TO LOOK INTO HER AND FOUND OUT ABOUT HER PARENTS NOT HAVING MUCH MONEY, BUT WHY DOES IT SOUND SO CREEPY??
LIKE I CANT STOP READING IT AS “YOU DESERVE THIS 👹👹👺” AS LIKE IN A CREEPY STALKER WAY, BUT IM SURE ITS JUST GRAYSON TRYING TO SHOOT HIS SHOT OR SOME SHIT IDK
OR WAIT WAIT WAIT, SHE MENTIONS THAT “YOU DESERVE THIS” NOTE BEING THE FIRST LETTER AND THE INVITATION BEING THE SECOND, SO MAYBE ITS FROM A COMPLETELY DIFF PERSON?? LIKE MAYBE ITS FROM SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS ABOUT HER PARENTS HAVING TO SELL THAT ONE HOUSE THAT I ALR FORGET THE NAME OF WHO MAYBE HATES HER FAMILY? (the kanes) IDK, BUT IF THEY’RE ALL SIGNING THEIR NAMES ON A TREE THEN THAT MUST MEAN THEY COME FROM A BIG FAMILY, MEANING ONE OF THEM COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING STUPID (prolly her bio dad 😪)
ALSO ITS CONFIRMED SHES 19 WHICH MEANS GRAYSONS 22, WHICH MEANS IF THEY DATE THERE WILL BE A 3 YEAR AGE GAP BETWEEN THE TWO ☠️☠️☠️
GRAYSON RLLY LIKES THEM YOUNGER DAMN, FIRST AVERY NOW LYRA?? 😪😪
LETS JUST HOPE THAT ITS ACC A 2 YEAR AGE GAP AND SHE JUST HASNT TURNED 20 YET BC GODAMN 😪😪
ANYWAY I ALR LOVE HER BUT I STILL HAVE NO CLUE WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE APART FROM HER BODY (the silhouette) BC JLB ISNT TELLING US ANYTHING!!! 👹🤬🤬
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evelili · 6 months ago
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As an immigrant child, your new fic had resonated with me. It made me tear up eating dinner with my family.
When Saffron said, “This selfish desperation to know that I haven’t lost my connection to my home." It instantly took me back to being constantly teased by my friends for not being 'in tuned' with my culture like how they were, or how I desperately tried speaking in my native tongue with my parents, despite having a very clear american accent and them constantly assuring me that speaking in english is fine. My grandmother had passed earlier this year, she was the grandparent that I knew the least. I started asking about her from her sisters as my mother isn't in the state to answer anything, I've tried so hard to pick up the pieces of what her sisters have told me to construct an image of her personality. She used to constantly ask me to call her so when I read about Saffron talking about how video calls have were never the same and never enough, it hit me like a load of bricks.
Your fanfiction is so tremendously beautiful in describing the feelings I have felt all my life. How I know that where I am right now isnt home, but my actual home has been so unfamiliar after my grandmothers passing. I have constantly felt like I have disappointed her, so when Sunset confessed to the same thing, I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore. The ending with Saffron talking about how she would be waiting for Sunset to come home if she was her mother made hope that was true with me and my grandmother, if I were to ever reunite with her again when I pass away myself.
Thank you so much for writing this story. It was the most comfortable yet intense stories I have ever had the blessing to read. I am sorry for rambling and I hope this entire message makes some sort of sense? I hope whatever you're dealing with gets solved to the way you have hoped it would.
You have also made me see dal in a new light, it was never a food that I used to like, but I am willing to give it another shot lol
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i looked at this ask earlier and had to take some time to process how to respond to this. i think tho i still dont really know how to, so i hope thats ok!
first of all, thank you so much for being comfortable enough to tell me ur story. it really means a lot that you would open up to me, a stranger, and the fact that you did so bc something i made had an impact on u quite actually moved me to tears. im a bit of a soggy mess rn lol. thank you again, truly.
second, i want to express my empathy for you and your situation with your grandmother. my grandad passed away before i could graduate, and it was during the height of lockdowns, so i hadnt seen him in a while. i didnt go to visit him in the hospital, so theres always this feeling of "what if i had called more? what if i had tried harder to visit? what if i spent more time with him?" that doesnt really go away. and, as a kid of 2 immigrant families, i can also really empathize with feeling a disconnect from your culture--when ur not surrounded by ur parents culture but u also visibly dont look like ur "from" the one u were raised in, it can feel really alienating, even though you havent done anything except just. exist in this sort of inbetween?
all of this i guess is to say that, i put a lot of my own experiences into this fic. and it's almost relieving in a way to know that u saw what i put there, and that this experience is something that other people have felt as well. thank you so very much again for reading ;v;
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quodekash · 6 months ago
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I didnt get enough sleep last night but its not my fault qtoey fuckin kissed
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hes literally the most babygirl in this entire show
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HIM FRANTICALLY CLEANING UP I LOVE HIM SM
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I love this more than I can ever possibly describe
it's so silly
so goofy
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HES SO GOOFY
they should kiss again I think
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babes your voice just got three octaves higher, do better at lying next time
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who the FUCK is this guy and why is he being introduced in episode 7 of 16 (apparently 16??? it's wild that this show is supposed to be 16 episodes long (according to mdl?) cos we're not even halfway through the show and 2 out of 4 of the main couples have officially kissed, and 1 is officially together. which is insane when you think about how msp is 12 episodes long and tinngun didnt properly kiss til thE END OF THE LAST FUCKING EPISODE)
(no im never getting over this, they COULD have counted 67 FUCKING TIMES throughout the show and they fucking DIDNT)
anyway this guy is probably gonna be a main part of the drama that's gonna go down in order to keep this show long enough 😭
why cant we just keep the light and fluffy show as it is and keep spreading joy and dopamine straight to my bones
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two adorable little munchkins standing next to each other
theyre my sons
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THAT LITTLE GIGGLE I CANT
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whAT rEAlLY???
he asked if he could hit on you, then asked if he could KISS you, AND THEN YALL FUCKIN MADE OUT IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
AND THEN WHEN YOU SAW HIM TODAY, HE MADE SILLY KISSY LIPS AT YOU
so I suggest you all give up on this "plan", and change to this real plan: march up to him, ask him out, plant a kiss on his cheek, take your fuckin artist easels and canvases to a fuckin beach at sunset, paint and make out
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oml pun's an astrology girlie
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HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENING
what the fuck no why does it look like its gonna get angsty, I cant do this :(
dont make me watch toey sob, I dont want that, I want them to make out again :((
im so confused dude why is he so angry
I genuinely dont get it
I mean im watching at 2x speed so I can get through this quickly so I might've missed some dialogue somewhere or smth, but still
why's he angry
idk why he's angry but I do know one thing: satang is too fucking good at portraying anguish
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im too tired to process words so im not entirely sure what he means but I think it sounds poetic so we're gonna go with that
(ahem) THATS SO BEAUTIFUL WTF
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WHAT THE FUCK
brb just gonna rip my fucking SOUL out
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"its like im sitting in a vast grassy field with a gentle breeze under a bright sky" OKAY WTF ARE THE GMM WRITERS READING MY TUMBLR POSTS OR SMTH
THATS LITERALLY HOW I DESCRIBED THE WAY WIN PROBABLY FEELS ABOUT SOUND
its why his heart doesnt beat fast for sound, he just doesnt have that kind of crush, its more of a relaxing crush, like a gentle breeze
ill fucking find the post if I can
I literally wrote an extended metaphor poem combined with a fic about it
what the fuck dude
if they're watching my posts then why havent they given us my satang and perth siblings agenda yet
and where is the markford series
gmm I know you're looking at this, answer my fucking questions guys
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I LOVE THEIR FRIEND GROUP SO FUCKING MUCH DUDE
they all just make me so happy 😭😭😭
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okay but he didnt know you were milk frappe boy when hE FUCKING MADE OUT WITH YOU IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
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theyre holdin hansssss
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is what I think and want to happen about to happen
that wasnt grammar but its fine
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THEYF CYKING END IT THERE??
BUT HES ALL PUCKERED UP
HES READY
ALSO THEYRE IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY AND IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY
WTF
I HAVE TO WAIT A FUCKING WEEK TO FEEL JOY????
COME ON MAN
oh fuck yes next week theyre goi g to a volunteer camp
volunteer camp episodes are always comfort episodes so thjis is gonna be GOOD
PUN DID IT BC HE WANTS QTOEY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER??? BRO HE'STHE WINGMAN OF ALL TIME
well anyway I just wanna see qtoey kiss again :(
ill rewatch that one scene in the meantime
buhbye for now my friends, see yous next week
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watchyourbuck · 7 months ago
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it's just to me a bad sign on how things will go moving forward especially if the buck/tommy ship doesn't go away come season 8 like you are all clearly thinking it will or if it does but they revisit it later. eddie isn't confirmed to be queer in canon yet, he might never be so what's the plan? shitting on the canon romances buck gets and/or patronizingly praising them as long as they serve buddie endgame?
babe you went on a TRIP. ok so im not sure which answer you want me to give you here. fandoms work in specific ways, and this fandom has always been primarily buddie. granted, up until 7x04 they only dated women, but alas, they havent dated each other is my point.
its only natural that people who ship buddie endgame may like to partake on Buck's newest relationship but only as a relationship bound to break to make space for buddie - because thats what they (or we, i guess) ship.
i dont know whats gonna happen next season, or god, this one, but i know ive never taken a shit on any of their partners unless they have done something wrong. never liked taylor bc she was so selfish and played dirty, but lucy and ana and shannon i never had any trouble with, i just didnt see them as that character's forever (and marisol i dont like bc of the actress, but we can get into that later).
thing is, people are gonna ship whatever they ship. you cant change that. im not exactly sure why you went on the bisexual tangent, but as a queer person i can tell you its got nothing to do with sexuality. my advice to you as a person who curates her fandom experience is to blatantly stay away from blogs, fics and fanons you dont enjoy. fandoms are optional, this is supposed to be something that you do in your spare time and love, so why go meddle where you know you dont feel comfortable?
personally, im riding both trains right now, and i enjoy fanfics in most of their forms, so im gonna write/read fanfics where tommy isnt his final love, or some where he is, or threesomes where they end up together (all of them), or where they dont. its fiction! it can vary and spiral and - you get it.
about canon queer eddie, its not something i have the power to decipher. if you follow me, or if youve seen my posts, you should know i think hes queer, but im not gonna go down that road right now bc technically, that doesnt matter for the question. if he never becomes canonically queer, then, well, sometimes we lose. not for that im gonna "shit" or "praise patronizingly" any of their love interestes as long as they are good people who make them happy, whatever gender they are.
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dyslexic-asexual · 28 days ago
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A while ago I had a lot of different types of pants I wanted and was getting frustrated trying to find them and also trying to figure out how to acquire them all without buying anything redundant to my wardrobe... Well Ive finally figured it all out and Im so excited Im going to tell you about my plans- all of these have some element of diy so youre not just reading a shopping list:
I wanted those black cargo jeans with the white contrast seams, this is what was giving me so much trouble to find. I did finally find some but they needed hemmed (as ALL of my pants do, 5'3" problems), but I didnt have time to before college, and I DEFINITELY didnt want to hand sew them, so i just held the hems up with some safety pins I had. I only used two on each leg tho so the hems were still coming unfolded, and well you know me I liked the safety pins so much I just decided to add a bunch more. Like Studded the Whole Hem with Them -more. And that inspired me to eventually turn these into crust pants. I dont have many patches atm but I dont want that many on the pants themselves, and I do want a battle jacket* to go with them. They dont have the painters(?) loops on them so I also want to add those, and the seams are extremely itchy so the waistband needs lined with something softer so Im no longer forced to ALWAYS tuck my shirt in with them.
*Battle jacket: I already had this idea as a tween and started putting ALL my pins and patches on this one vest I have, but its so messy I never wear it. Im going to take the ones I actually want to wear and get a black jacket for them to match the jeans. The vest can stay and hold on to some of the more fun ones, the rest I will probably just give away bc theyre not worth selling.
Copia jeans: holy shit I want these so so so so so so bad 😭 Luckily I have a base to diy them- my current ripped black jeans that I was not at all careful with and completely shredded the elastic, which at first I was sad about but for their new purpose it totally works! And the cut is similar enough for me. Now all I need is matching black fabric to go underneath the rips and something to make the crotch corset (but I want it to just be topical somehow bc even a shitty #fashon button fly is faster than having to painstakingly unlace them every time I have to piss).
Mary jeans: if you dont know already Im putting together a lil Mary goore cosplay and my current jeans^ just arent it, but Im less sure about what I want here. Obviously I want something I can get the most wear out of and still have it look accurate, but I dont really like tight pants. We will just have to see, bc Ive looked a little bit and havent found anything yet.
Patchwork jeans: Ive wanted these for a while and they would also be good to diy (bc I think theyre starting to go "out" and already have in stores) I just need enough different base fabric. I do have a lot of old worn out jeans but as for the colors I definitely dont have any super pale denim.
Current jacket: I want to put something spacey on the backpiece, space is like "my thing" and this is my "signature jacket" so I want to combine them but idk how yet.
Possum cosplay(???): theres a meme on here about wearing a possum outfit and as soon as I saw it I was inspired but I need pretty much every single piece so this is pretty low on the priority list lol 💀
Thanks for reading I love rambling about my future plans bc it helps me get my thoughts in order!
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freckliedan · 1 year ago
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omfg so im reading your linguistics paper rn and im at the part where you talk about how its taboo to post abt the vday vid or dailybooths etc. but i feel like the chains have loosened over the years so to speak? cuz like, on twitter people have just. posted full dailybooth screenshots, or reference the 2009 phan song all the time which itself refs vday. and im wondering if thats like, because the community had gotten smaller after the dapg hiatus that ppl were more lax about it, or if it felt like dnp were more lax about it, or if these are all younger fans who werent aware of this etiquette at all but since so many younger fans have been joining like post coming out they just dont see it as taboo at all? some self-policing does still occur, specifically w ppl reposting dans nakedbooths, but its def not the case of YOU HAVE TO BE COMPLETELY SILENT ABOUT THIS anymore. i havent even finished reading yet but im enthralled
OOH thank you for the question i have so many thoughts on this actually. (context)
i think there's multiple reasons why the taboo on discussing the vday vid & other deleted social media things has grown lesser? under the cut bc i got wordy.
partially i'd chalk it up to the change in phandom demographics. like, there's a way lower proportion of us now who were around for the direct aftermath of the first major leak in 2012, or who even were a part of the phandom when a majority of folks had been present for that. things were so bad and painful then & in the era directly afterwards! people still learn about that but the knowledge of how bad things got is always going to be different from the lived experience.
so that's reason one: i think that within the fandom the strongest emotional reaction to the existence of the vday video & deleted social media posts will always exist in ppl who were around in 2011-2013 & similarly deeply ingrained in folks who joined right after that in 2014-15. and i think there's still a lot of us but there's also just like.. so many less of us now, too. the vast majority of my mutuals from 5 years ago have abandoned or deleted their blogs.
i do think another part of why things have gotten less taboo is bc it's no longer something that has the potential to out dan and phil/how directly they've acknowledged the social media posts (& to a lesser degree the vday vid)?
like. dan literally used screenshots that he almost certainly got from the phan directory in basically i'm gay. they acknowledged that the manchester eye meant something to them in giving the people what they want/witl (watched them at the same time, can't remember which had that in it). i know they knew how people would react to them mentioning iconic teen dalien moments in the big wheel in the sims.
there's also the fact that like... angry phil DMs/copyright strikes are a thing of the past? i'm not going to tell people where to find the vday video but it's stupidly easy to locate on more mainstream platforms at this point in time. shit, that brings me to another point: fans who joined more recently weren't around for the era where blogs were getting taken down for what they were posting. another reason it's more chill now.
like, the openness of the secret is like, something that makes seeking out the taboo less of a thrill?
but on the other hand! learning in detail abt the vday vid and old social media posts is something i think people find less necessary now? that used to be the most concrete like... phan proof. proof they were queer. and now that they're explicitly gay and openly together to the degree that they are it's like. the value of the information has lessened.
to go in a different direction. i definitely wouldn't call it a formalized etiquitte that the youngun's just don't know, especially when it comes to the social media posts—they've always circulated and even 5 years ago when i wrote that paper they were more openly talked about even tho the vday video wasn't (though again: 5 years ago was still wayyyyy more lax than 2013/14).
ultimately there's always just been so much clout tied up to knowing about the vday video & social media posts? so even though being too blatant has always been a taboo transgressing that norm with skill has also always been a phandom value.
i'm not going to get too far into the ways that dan and phil's fandom literacy and the fan response of archiving everything play into things bc i think i covered that well in my paper but yeah!
i don't have a good conclusion but: less % of the fandom being present for the aftermath of dnp being outed by the leak + greater aknowledgement of these subjects by dnp + less value for the information in the vday vid & deleted social media posts = more casual attitude towards vday vid & social media posts and a healthier phandom overall
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colourful-void · 2 months ago
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alright closing umineko for the night!! i had a great time with it so far!! i really like the writing style, and for the most part its actually a lot less dense than i was expecting. I thought it might be some house of leaves stuff but no this is pretty easy to read, at least so far! im rlly glad for that like it doesn't feel too simple, not too complicated, its good!
current character thoughts run down, though i've barely started so i dont know much yet: ginzo: he sucks he totally sucks and im convinced that he made some kidna deal w/ beatrice in order to take advantage of the earthquake and war and such. not entirely convinced hes not about to just murder the whole family bcs he seems like he would do that. krauss: also sucks. just a real dick, but in like. he's a standard asshole really. natsuhi: much in the same vien, but she's got that matriach of the family thing going on i hope will b explored more <3 jessica: she's neat i like her! looking forward to more on her. Eva: i was digging for her a while and then i saw how she treated shannon and it went out the window hideyoshi: ive yet to expirence a thought on this man George: he's very tropey in a good way and i enjoy he's friendly guy swag. looking forward to it inevitably falling to pieces rudolf: DICK!! kyrie: girl leave your husband. i can treat u better <3, im glad she has some decency but my mind aint set on her yet battler: HES SO CRINGEEEE <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 sometimes he does genuinely offput me but mostly he's just stupid <3 rosa: be a bit nicer to ur daughter, but beyond that shes chill i think. no big thoughts here. i do like her dynamic in relation to the rest of the siblings so far maria: MARIA MY DARLING MY DEAREST SHES SO SWEET AND SILLY AND CLEARLY OMINOUS I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT DARK MAGICS OVERTAKE HER OR WHATEVER <333 maria for whatever the fuck she wants 2024 love her so much no crazy thoughts on the head butler or doctor but i think in a different world the butler and ginzo had crazy gay sex shannon: shes soooo sweetie <3 suspiciously so this game wants me to like her so bad and i do <3. i am aware of one key spoilery fact about shannon uncovered in some content warnings i recieved, but its kinda fun seeing the set up for that! everyone be nicer to my girl kanon: hes suspcious but overly so and i wonder what his deal is. i also think all the servants need to be treated better this fucking furnature stuff <3 its awful i love it narratively gohda: i think he would kill someone with very little hesitation. i wanna try that panna cotta. kumasawa: shes like a grandma to me <333 i like her!!
i havent met beatrice yet but im looking forward to it she looks super neat.
i also apperciate how slow burn this is, a few hours in and very little has happened yet it's nice. there's already a lot building but like. nothing big yet it's nice. i like it. it feels like it's moving at exactly the pace it wants to and i enjoy it a lot. the sound design is also rlly good. the music is really nice a couple times i got distracted and just listened to it in the bg. the sfx r nice too.
i do not regret my sprite choice i like these designs they're fun, but i do think maria looks a little off for her alleged age of 9, but it's easy to ignore after a min or two.ironically when i was loading the game and saw her on the steam page it def aligned better, but at the cost battler to my eyes is now yassified. he cant be a pretty boy to me he's too lame.
voice acting is great everyones putting fucking everyting into it and i enjoy that. fully commited to the enviroment and its great.
where i left off: everyone just finished having lunch! kumasawa covered for shannon not knowing the red sauce's ingredients. that's all for now! not sure when ill paly more, probably tomorrow, but its been good!! good game so far i like this setg up!! im also eagar to get more into the murder and violence and witch stuff but like, it does a good joib of setting up the characters so i dont feel impatient, and unlike a lot of games w/ murder n mystery that get right into it i kinda find it refreshing how slow this one is to start its like we all know itll get there so the tension of everyone being relatively calm is great.
anyway, umineko day 1: it was good =D
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deathclassic · 9 months ago
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monthly fic rec
some fics, old and new and some i have added to my reading list during february
It Started With A Demodog by melanie_bxx - one of my favourites, i try and read every update as soon as i can and ive been following it since the start, so amazing
C.O.C.O.N.U.T by @bawlbrayker - mandi, this was amazing and thank you for gifting it to me!
Tied Together With A Smile (But You're Coming Undone) by @mourntheantagonist - im so excited to read more of this one! and the art that accompanied it was stunning
standing in the doorway by @whenyouwishuponastar7 - looking forward to reading this one and seeing that ive read all their other fics and have loved every word of them, no doubt i'll love this one just as much
They only want you when you're seventeen by TooAceForThisShit - what an amazing fic!! had to read this again as soon as i had finished it
In the water with you by @azrielgreen - i could NOT put this fic down once i started like holy fuck, this was EVERYTHING and the artwork? *chefs kiss*
Taking Notes by thei - re reading this one bc it's amazing and i am always down for rereading their fics
i'm not the way i was by @sam-loves-seb - okay i havent read this yet but it's sam, of COURSE im gonna love it and everyone else should read it too
The Cleaner by @notherenewjersey - such a good fic!!! i cant wait for more
last night at the verona grand hotel by @the-rat-wins - im super excited to read this one! super cool idea
highway star by @discodeviant - i am OBSESSED with this fic holy shit i couldnt put it down and everything about it was driving me insane in the best way possible
where the gay weiners go by @spacerockwriting - comet i cannot wait to sit down and read this! youve talked a lot about it and im excited to read about emo mickey amongst other things
casual sabotage by @weird-an - everytime there's a new chapter update i feel like i need to read the whole fic again bc it's just that good and i dont want it to end
unexpected beginnings by @shannee10 - this was such a good read and im so glad i was able to finish it the other day. i love galla dads so much!
among my stillness was a pounding heart by @ifallonblackdays - you KNOW i love my whump and this hits the spot with every single update
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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 30 days ago
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WHAT TERRIBLE THINGS ARE YOU DOING TO MY BUG [mallrad] [i saw ur repost of nhw mal lmao]
I NEEEEED INFROMATION RN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT PLEASE
HI KOI!!!!!!!!!! sorry this has taken me forever to answer ive had a busy work week ouagh. but its MAL TIME NOW. well. technically amity time bc im gonna talk about the setting in general because i love it. whatever go my scarab!
IM GOING TO ANSWER THIS ASSUMING U KNOW WHAT NHW IS. IF YOU DONT IM SO SORRY but also the masterpost is HERE which has basically all the context u need i think.
awesome place to start is reading This Post because it basically lays out the essentials for amity in general and gives you a good idea of their whole deal (theres also this one. which is a joke. but its my favorite ever and i think you will appreciate the clarence)
since i mostly ran thru the basics of their plot timeline super quick in that post i can get into details in this one :] putting a lot of it under the cut so its not 12 miles long hehe
i really like leaving a lot of the amity stuff to be mystery partially because it will literally NEVER come up in the "canon timeline" or whatever since it all happened x number of years ago and partially because giving it an air of mystery makes it seem more myth/legend than anything concrete. which!! since its supposed to be the nhw equivalent of the spirit world i love the idea that its vague and mysterious and hard to comprehend that the Chaos Zone (colloquial name for the quarantine area around the city where they keep the trickster trapped) used to be like. a relatively peaceful idyllic city with only a small handful of capes and not a lot of action. that being said i do in fact have clam flavored brain worms which means i cannot help thinking about clarence and mal in so much detail that is SO unnecessary to the rest of the story other than serving to make what happened to them more tragic.
ANYWAY. all that being said that is my excuse for not having any solid ideas on mals trigger event. ive kind of played around with the idea that he's a case 53 (cauldron dropped him into the city mid-ghoul transformation and full of amnesia so he had. basically no identity before then and no idea where or who or what he was so he just kind of started breaking things) but honestly i havent thought abt it all that much bc its just not that important. either way. he started out as an unaffiliated rogue/villain. as ghoul, he was in his brute form like 90% of the time and behaved pretty much like a less cannibalistic venom. just kind of like. causing damage just because he can. really the ONLY two capes in amity at the time were Whisperer (clarence) and Afterlife (duck) (<< first duck mention btw!). Afterlife is a lot more apathetic to things like this (hes old. hes tired. hes survived WELL past the cape life expectancy but theres no real protocol for capes retiring because usually they just. die. so hes still here) and he really only responds to things he deems an emergency, and some rando causing property damage isnt enough to put ghoul on his radar. so that left Whisperer to deal with him. his powers are very nonviolent non-confrontational so his way of dealing with villains is to use his. basically tranquilizer powers to get them to stop doing whatever theyre doing (its a good thing amity is peaceful. this is NOT a. super great awesome offensive power and he can get very easily overwhelmed against more than one target). so he does this to Ghoul and since his he's a new cape and is not fully under control of his changer powers yet, his brute form drops as soon as hes calm and hes just. some sad disheveled looking guy.
so clarence sees this guy who is just. so incredibly lost. whether thats because of case 53 amnesia or like. post-trigger, post-changer state disorientation, hes just. like. pathetic. hes not being a villain because hes evil hes just doing things because he doesnt know what else to do. so clarence, who is way too kindhearted for his own good, offers to help him. and mal, who has probably never given this sort of softness in his life. just immediately fucking melts into it. of course he accepts that offer he has nothing else to do! he doesnt really care about being a hero or a villain or anything like that (having a morality crisis is boring and a waste of time) but this man is literally glowing and offering him a hand to hold and a purpose and something other than just mindless destruction
so mal drops the name Ghoul and gets his changer powers better under control and properly develops his master powers instead of his brute powers and becomes what essentially ends up being Whisperer's sidekick under the new name Purgatory (which. i really made on a whim at the time but now that i have had time to think about it really has a lot of significance to his character and state of mind and it makes me SICK)
mal has a sort of hero worship crush on clarence like. thats His Hero. thats the guy who picked him up off the ground and helped him stand out of the kindness of his heart and they know each other out of costume now and even in his civilian life clarence is funny and laid back and so easy to talk to and. mal is not those things. god he is so down bad. relationship wise i will point to this convo which i still stand by
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but i think like. both in and out of costume theyre kind of inseparable. mal is like. suuuper super protective over clarence to the point where its kind of an intimidation factor to other people. scary dog privilege or whatever. i like to refer to it as like... if clarence was a prince mal would be his loyal knight. if mal was an animal he would be a falcon (fast, sharp, dangerous, always returns to its master etc etc etc).
its also really important to me that clarence DOES NOT see their relationship like this at all he is so. oblivious. or if hes not oblivious he just doesnt do anything about it or puts it out of his mind or whatever. i think one of clarences big flaws is that hes almost too laid back about certain things that he maybe should care about a little more? big "itll be fine" in situations where things . PROBABLY will not be fine if he doesnt do something about it. so while he doesnt really purposefully encourage mals weird hero worship with him he also doesnt really do anything to dissuade it either. so thats how we get to. where we get to. with them. ouhghhh boy.
i already talked abt this pretty in depth in the other post but trickster appears, kills clarence in front of mal, and it just BREAKS something fundamental in him. once the trickster throws him out of the city i think the prt has to drag him away kicking and screaming because theres NO way he would willingly walk away from that (ESPECIALLY because... clarence's body is still there. he never got a proper funeral or burial or anything hes just.... there on the street or on the roof of a building like hes nothing). they probably put him in some kind of custody which he inevitably breaks out of and goes out on his own. i think he tries to go back to the city only to find the walls already in place and no way to get in without fighting a LOT of soldiers and ripping through a lot of anti-cape measures. which he is emotionally willing to do, but hes not stupid. he knows he needs backup. so he seeks out the worlds most dangerous most awful notorious capes ever. and thats how he ends up with the slaughterhouse 9! his eventual goal with them is to manipulate them into helping him get back into amity and kill the trickster. which is OBVIOUSLY not how things turn out, but thats his motivation at least.
when wraith ends up in the public eye with the new haven wards and his costume is sooooo so eerily close to the whisperer, mal kind of Leaves the s9 for a bit? hes still a member and everything, he doesnt actively quit or betray them or anything bc thats like asking to get killed, but he stops travelling with them in order to. whats the nicest way i can say this. research? the wards. specifically wraith. that little unhinged piece of his mind that snapped when clarence was killed gives him this horrible idea that wraith is just.. clarence reincarnated. its probably been close to 20ish years since the amity incident at this point, so the timing even lines up close enough for him to be convinced. so that starts his weird obsession with william, which eventually involves him nominating william as a potential candidate to join the s9 in the trials (william has a Complex about this) and other fucked up things like the tide fridge (<< our loving name for when mal kidnaps tide and keeps him in jars or whatever in the spirit world in canon etc)
hes my favorite fucked up little guy!!!!!!! i hate him so much i want to hit him with hammers but also ive had a specific stained glass art piece depicting the biblical purgatory that i really want to draw as him and clarence so like. take that as you will. im obsessed with them i think abt them so much even though clarence has like no bearing on the actual plot of nhw since the whole "william is the next whisperer" thing is nonexistent. i got distracted writing this a FEW times so i maybe forgot some things so if theres anything else u want to know about them... hmu. i love 2 talk abt them so much <3
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