#i havent posted anything fandom related in ages

[mrverymello]

So this is a coalecroux song.

[electraslight]

i always hate when i see people make posts on tumblr saying 'i hate it when people say they dont like the like button, blah blah insert funnypost about how you like seeing cute hearts or whatever' like artists and creatives on tumblr havent been struggling to get any sort of interaction or have any fun with this site for a while because no one reblogs anything or even sends asks. like i know youre trying to be silly but likes really are causing the downfall of interaction on the site. a lot of you guys are artists, and i bet you remember getting a lot of asks and interaction a year or two ago, even when you werent actively pandering to fandom interests (i know some of you do this now, i see you, i feel you, that's not healthy because it doesnt work either), and now most people's like to reblog ratio is crazy small. look at any art post, and you can see ratios like 17 to 100, 5 to 150, etc etc. and of course no asks, at least not from people who arent telling you to tag 'food warning' or tell you youre a horrible human being for shipping a one year age gap or whatever. and i get a lot of the point of those posts is that you shouldnt be upset that youre getting more likes than reblogs, because you should be happy that anyone likes your art enough to show you they like it, but i think an artist's urge to grow isn't as clout related as these people assume. its wanting more people to see your work, to interact with it. to feel something from it, and the dry well of interaction has made a lot of people move away from the site, because tumblr interactions always felt so personal and so community driven, and now there's no interaction besides harassment. it's not a sin to want your art to be seen, and it's not 'clout goblin behavior' to want members of your community to interact with you and your work. 'likes are interaction too' doesnt matter, because no one gets anything from the interaction besides number go up, which you may find cute and funny, but cute and funny didnt help me meet my best friends, come up with new concepts, have my art feel wanted. Interaction did. And this site has no algorithm, so reblog things you like, type everything you can think of in the tags, comment, send inane asks, or a lot of your favorite artists, creatives, even mutuals just blogging, wont hang around for long

[mishmash-webster]

WELCOME

she pinned on my intro til i post heya. feel free to read through my intro post... if you dare. you may wanna read my message/ask rules before interacting or sending an unsolicited ask/message (it's the section highlighted in green). have a swag day unless you bathe in bigotry, in which case i hope you bathe in different things in the near future because you smell horrible and no one likes you.

sorry this is so long this was the most i was able to condense it to (┬┬﹏┬┬)

❂ Greetings!

✦ I'm Blue da ba dee da ba dai, or at least that's my online name and the only one you really need to know.

✦ pronouns = they/he/ey/cos/it (primarily they/he).

✦ gender = transmasc enby, additional gender labels = genderfuck/genderpunk, androgyne, anarcho-queer.

✦ orientation = panromantic, demiromantic, grayace. i am not on tumblr to look for a romantic or sexual relationship. if you are, keep scrolling.

✦ im a minor, and dont feel comfortable stating my exact age.

✦ i consider myself punk and anti-capitalist.

this blog is my main and only blog, so all sorts of things go on it. some of the things you might find here include:

multifandom posting

shitposting

activism, politics, leftism

things that will radicalize you against your government

random rambling

my art maybe if im brave enough

my AU ideas, also if im brave enough

venting? maybe? (sometimes)

whatever random ass bullshit i want babey!!!!!!

if any of these things make you mad or uncomfortable, click away! its not worth it to type me an angry paragraph. if you want an honest non-hostile debate about personal belief systems, maybe, if i feel up for it, but the internet is a place to curate your own experiences and im already recovering from the mindset instilled from being constantly subjected to mentally draining content/discourse on other platforms (even in good faith) and i want this blog to not be like that. ultimately...

(ol' reliable)

❂ Additional info

❂ Tags legend (some tags i may still be going back and sorting through, apologies for that)

🐊.txt (random rambling, thought dumps. dont ask why its a gator)

#go fund them (donation campaigns (may not always be on the gofundme website, but just all donation campaigns in general). please look through this tag and consider donating if you have the time/resources)

#sick art, #godly art (other peoples' cool art, used interchangeably, one isnt inherently better than the other it's just based on vibes)

#vent post (my vent posts, please feel free to filter this tag, I may talk about heavy/personal subjects)

‼️Note: i may reblog posts with nsfw/suggestive content or subject matter (for example, medical diagrams of private parts for trans reasons, artistic nudity, etc), ship posts with suggestive allusions (almost always in a comedic way), or make/reblog suggestive jokes. if you dont wanna see that ill always try to tag with #nudity, #suggestive, #suggestive joke. (plsplspls tell me if i forget, or if theres anything else you’d like me to tag, id be happy to ✌️)

❂ Fandoms

some of these i havent consumed in their entirety, ill mark them with purple if so

Welcome to Hell, The Owl House, Ace Attorney, The Amazing Digital Circus, Amphibia, The Amazing World of Gumball, Beastars, Cherry Crush, I'm In Love With The Villainess, Ramshackle, Heartstopper, Deltarune, Undertale, Bluey, Mob Psycho 100, Calvin and Hobbes

stuff i wanna consume but havent gotten the chance to

Madoka Magica, Sonic franchise (games + movies), Garfield (yes the cat)

❂ Interaction preferences, DNI criteria

not to get all twitter about it but please dont interact with me if it's because of, or if you support/fit the description of, any of the following (if you dont wanna look through all this just ctrl + f search a keyword ig):

✘ NSFW-related anything. Hell no, i am a minor and you WILL be blocked and reported (unless youre just a mutual making a suggestive joke thats fine lmao, im referring to people with 0 life training sending unsolicited naked pics like fucking toddlers)

✘ Conservatives/right-wing/MAGA imbeciles, centrists, homophobes, transphobes, zionists, antisemites/islamophobes (real ones, not Palestine supporters), radqueers/radfems/TERFs, predators, pedos, forced birth supporters, anti-neopronouns, anti-therian, beastiality supporters, sexists of any caliber.

✘ pro-sh or pro-ed blogs. (i hope you get the help you deserve and stop dooming others to a lifelong struggle. please seek help.)

✘ Donation-related asks. (i'm sorry, but any blog that messages me asking for donations, i'm going to immediately assume is a bot/scam. assuming you're not, i care and empathize deeply with your struggle, but i have no job/source of income in an already relatively poor household, with parents who are not necessarily keen on supporting gofundmes (i've asked multiple times) and with the previously mentioned high scam risk i'm very hesitant to share if im not 100000% sure.‼️‼️if you need donation you're going to have a much, MUCH better chance of fast aid from these subreddits instead of only through word-of-mouth on a site like tumblr. i care about your situation and don't want you to receive little to no aid simply because you're asking in less-than-ideal places.‼️‼️ i will of course still spread awareness of any campaign possible (especially relative to Palestine and Sudan) but even so, im still only a small and unknown blog, and you're MUCH better off using the subreddits, asking a more popular blog dedicated to this sort of thing or both. if you or anyone you know in Palestine/Sudan/otherwise struggling, i care about your safety and i pray you and your family are safe and receive aid as soon as possible. 🍉🙏)

————————————

tell me if i should add anything!!

blinkie credit: blinkies.cafe

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

[winteravian]

well, about time I do an introduction post.

INTRODUCTION

hi!! I'm winteravian, simply known as Bird.

welcome to my blog! if you're looking for a loser who constantly hyperfixiates on stupid media that don't need the overly deep significance I give them, then you found the right place.

enjoy your stay! or don't, I won't judge you

GENERAL INFORMATION

technically I have a carrd for this, so : https://winteravian.carrd.co/

note: in this carrd there are my main info, interests and boundaries/dni. I'm still going to list them here more apprehensively since the carrd is a little old and decrepit

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: currently questioning!

age: 16

nationality: italian (forgive any mistakes in English!!)

religion: catholic christian (even if some of my ideals may or may not coincide with what the church has become in this decade...)

what I intend to use this blog for: art!! I am both a digital and traditional artist, though I have still a lot to learn. art is a forever ongoing process, and I believe sharing it can improve many things.

MY BOUNDARIES AND DNI

got this in bold ass letters bc its important.

BOUNDARIES: first and foremost, do not repost my art or claim it as yours. If it comes to my knowledge that you've reposted my art, you will be blocked and reported.

i am not comfortable with DMs unless i know you irl or we are good friends/had a substantial conversiation over some time. If you send me a message request and i don't reply, do not spam me to reply. it's annoying. (this has happened before on other socials)

if i do anyting wrong (in art or in dialogue), please do tell! i am still in a stage of learning and will happily take constructive critcism. this does not include plain pettyness and insults. remain civil, please.

do not ask me for free art. i will not do it. unless i open commissions/asks/specific post for art requests in the future, any art request is closed.

DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF: -you mock ANY religion in any way (christianity, islam, hinduism, bhuddism etc..)

-you support incest, pedophilia, homophobia, zoophilia, s*xual harrassment etc.

-just if you are a creep in general. if any of the info i gather from your profile fit these criteria and others i havent mentioned (but they are essentially common sense) you will be blocked or muted.

WHAT FANDOMS AM I IN? WHAT ARE MY INTERESTS?

boy, there'd be too many to write!! but, to make it simpler for you, I'll drop my most active fandoms:

-smg4 [hyperfix of almost six years, aka since 2019, and counting] and anything glitchprod related

-Aurora (yes the singer)

-sky: children of the light

-cookie run kingdom [sometimes]

-anything disney (I've had a period where I was obsessed with the Disney fairies franchise. I wish it still existed)

-my little pony

-trolls franchise

and many more to count !

my interests are sporadic tbh, but a consistent one is with symbolism of any kind(color, flowers, crystals, christian symbolism, pagan symbolism, stars and animals and whatever else you can think of), birds and the ocean. and silly shows and games on the internet, of course.

if I'll make a masterpost in the future it will probably be here.

also! please note that this blog is the successor of an older one, @maskedb1rd . if you want to check out my old posts go ahead! this blog is now inactive though.

thank you for reading!

[danvillecheese]

watched pnf as a kid and got back into it during high school which is when i think i would have started calling myself a fan

saw pnf first (when it was on tv) and ive seen all three of the shows! theres a lot i like and dislike about each of them, each in the context of their own shows and all that, plus the nostalgia factor etc

the fans themselves seem to be like insanely chill compared to a lot of fandoms which just makes for such a nice online experience! most personal experiences of the show i share with others so it seems to be pretty universal (for people my age) to have the same opinions lol

my experience has gone from lurker to relatively popular blogger which is still a very weird thing to me lmao!! there have been fandom related events but i havent participated due to some restraints. there are a few artists and writers from back in the day i absolutely adored but they dont post that stuff anymore and the newer ones are so so so talented!!!! there was that one youtuber that covered everything from like before the pnf/mml crossover til like just after catu that was pretty popular but that was the only one i watched. probably not a surprise but i make posts and fanart and fic and analyse and make annual surveys!

i have mixed feelings about it. im super happy it got renewed, of course, but it feels like last day of summer was a good place to let it stop. im keeping my mind open to anything though! we'll see how it turns out lol

Input needed

Hey, fellow Dwampyverse fans! I need some input for a silly little thing I'm working on. Please put your responses in my notes (replies, reblogs, etc. inbox/messages is also fine). I want to get answers from new fans, old fans, and everyone in between!

How did you hear about the Dwampyverse or any piece of it, and when did you start considering yourself a "fan"?

Which show did you watch first? Which one(s) have you not seen? What do you like and dislike about the one(s) you have seen? What are you excited for and not excited for about the one(s) you have not seen/what positives and negatives have you heard?

What is your impression of the fans themselves? How would you describe the fans you've interacted with/seen around the internet? What have you heard about them that contrasts with your personal experience, if anything? Describe an experience you shared with members of the Dwampyverse fandom that stuck out to you.

What experience do you have with the fandom thus far? What fandom-related events have you heard about? Name the first ones you can list off the top of your head. Have you participated in them, and how did that go? Do you have any fanartists or fanwriters that you really like in particular? Do you follow any YouTube channels related to the Dwampyverse? Do you write fanfiction, make fanart, post/lurk on social media, or a secret fourth thing?

How do you feel about the PnF revival coming out next year?

[c1nnamonn]

kido, early pokespe, and evillious chronicles

kido and spe i understand perfectly but my extent of participation in evillious is just really me loving riliane and wanting to drop kick adam into the fucking sun

[twistedtummies2]

if you run a kink/fetish blog you really shouldnt be putting stuff in the main tags. the main tags are not an 18+ space, theyre for minors and adults alike, and kink stuff doesnt belong there. i havent reported you yet because i want to give you a chance to reflect and change your behavior, but if i keep seeing you in the main/character tags, i will flag the posts and your blog as sensetive content. as someone who was affected by seeing a lot of fetish stuff at a young age bc of irresponsible fandoms, im very passionate about this topic. i dont care if you publish this or not.

I was never aware that the tags apparently are "age managed." Plenty of people do things of this nature without having to worry about stuff like this. I also was not (and am not) aware of what "main tags" are. So I sincerely do not know what you are referring to, specifically. And if you wish to call me out and claim I'm playing dumb...no, I'm not playing, I sincerely have no clue. I honestly have never seen any reason or known of any reason to monitor my tags, so I have not done so for that reason above all else. IF, from the way you're speaking, this is some sort of unspoken rule on Tumblr, or if I perhaps missed something way, way back when I joined the site, then I apologize and I am perfectly willing to "change my behavior," as you put it, because the last thing I want is to scar young innocent people for life, the way you claim happened to you. However, having said that, I would like to say two more things. One, there is no reason to threaten me with reporting like this. One other person came to me some time ago to tell me that, evidently, the "g/t" tag is one that is meant for all ages, so I shouldn't use it. I thanked them, apologized, and I no longer use that tag. They, in turn, thanked me, apologized in case they seemed rude, and then moved on with their life. Like I said, I am totally willing to change my practices if that is something that HAS to happen; I do not like breaking the rules. But your rudeness is not appreciated, by seemingly assuming that I am doing this maliciously. A simple "you shouldn't use these specific tags" would have been well and good, then I'd know to either change how I manage that matter, or stop wielding them altogether. Two, and most importantly...if this stuff offends you and bothers you so much, then you have no reason to look at my page. And I do not believe my little kink blog is some blight upon whatever taglines you're referring to; if by "main tags" you're referring to things like my more analytical pieces that have nothing to do with kinks, there's not much I can do there, especially since those AREN'T kink-based. As far as I can perceive, those are doing no harm. If by "main tags" you're referring to character names or whatever...I can search a character name and find tons upon tons of stuff that has nothing to do with kinks long before I run into anything related to my interests. I know, I've tried. My work and others doesn't really pop up too often, UNLESS I'm specifically looking for the kink in conjunction. Also, I should think that anyone reading it will realize it's not for them and turn away.

I appreciate your concern, and I understand it...but do not dictate things like this to me as if you run the website, or have the right to decide what people will or will not post. If you would care to discuss this in a civil and polite manner, please feel free to contact me via PM, so we can engage in such discourse. Until then, I will continue to tag things the way I always have, not because I am trying to hurt anyone, but because it simply the most obvious way I know how. If that bothers you so much, then tell me how to fix it, don't simply say "stop it or I'll report you" when I'm not even really sure what I'm doing wrong. There are many others like me. We are not animals. We are not monsters. And we are not out to hurt anyone. We just want to write our silly, kinky nonsense and keep to ourselves. Do not engage in witch hunts as if we are some hideous plague upon the universe. Most of us are just lonely geeks who want a place to express our darker side. Thank you.

[noneofyourbusiness42]

My progression with Snape is an odd yet insightful one that really opens the eyes and reflects the Harry Potter fandom. I wonder how many entered the fandom in similar ways?

I got majorly into HP when I was about 14 (2013) and, of course, got into the online communities. I wasn't heavily involved (with the online spaces) but became pretty intensely in love with Wolfstar which, in turn, bought me to the main marauder side of the fandom. Along with that came all of the Anti Snape posts you commonly see floating around.

And, of course, like an impressionable 14 year old, I regurgitated all of those posts I saw and spewed all the hateful words an angry traumatised 14 year old has. To the point I ended up passively bullying someone in my maths class/friend group every lesson we had together for loving Snape/Alan Rickman. (Just an edit, we're fine now! Bonded over our love for cats and my stinky cat named Severus)

It wasn't until I was about 16 when I finally broke that spell and realised 'hey, I don't need to be a fucking asshole all the time, and hating things isn't a personality trait ' I decided that maybe I should do a bit of digging into Snape for myself?

When you exist in the HP fandom as only a lurker, you're very quickly conditioned to frown upon 'Snovers' and SnApE DiD nOThInG WrOnG type people of the fandom. The moment you see Snape as anything other than the greasy hateful persona he puts on in the books, you're bullied and casted out from the mainstream fandom. The irony being he is a grey character but viewing him as anything but morally black, you'll be an outcast as quick as you can say SnaPeS aN iNcEl.

Which made it really fucking hard to explore this character A T A L L !

Anyway, when i finally snapped and decided that following the herd was stupid, I skipped off to tumblr (there's only so much wiki can give you,) to investigate Snape and what all the fuss was about. I actually started to roleplay him at the time on an old rp forum, using this opportunity to really deep dive. I figured if I could roleplay as him and not fall in love, then he truly was evil.

I fell down a fucking rabbit hole.

A rabbit hole of shared experiences of trauma, poverty, unfit parents, and school bullies. I fell down the rabbit hole into the world of a man i could truly and utterly relate too. Which made it hard, so fucking hard, to sit there and hate him. And in turn, I started to question, maybe I'm just as awful as him? And do I deserve to meet the same hate as Snape?

Needless to say, the moment you start to view Snape as the beautifully complex rainbow of tones across the grey spectrum, many spaces within the fandom become utterly horrendous to exist in.

I havent been able to enjoy Wolfstar or anything Remus Lupin related in... ages because those parts of the fandom have become unsafe to exist in as someone who appreciates both of these deeply traumatised and flawed characters.

I love the Snapedom because they're inclusive, even when their very own fandom has excluded them.

[beetleboo]

long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked. 

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

[enzo-zzz]

A vent on the fandom + cg

If you dont wanna hear any negativity, please just ignore this post. It includes dissatisfication on the yttd fandom and ongoing belief in it. I'm not going to use very kind words here, so just ignore this post. 3b spoilers included.

I like yttd so much, but the english fandom, i cannot interact because how toxic it is. Even the smallest different of which route you choose, will attract anyone to abuse, harrass, ridicule or humiliate you. And to be truth, there are many of them who are so judgemental, to the point that there is only one thing that are right and the other are wrong. Black and white mindset. The term "canon route" is what fans created itself. I guess there are many of them who are teens or kids, since most of kids who havent grown up yet tend to lean towards black and white mindset, even if they believe they are not. If you find people who keep arguing especially on social media, you can bet that its teens. Adult are too tired to involve in things like fighting with strangers. There is one time when the poll asked your age and the age range quite small to teens age. I guess thats why i think so.

OTHER THAN THAT, THERE'S ONE THING I'M ANNOYED WITH. ABOUT THE CG AND HOW THE FANDOM DECIDES THAT THE MORE CGS, THE MORE CANON IT IS. To be perfectly honest, i'm the one who came up with the analysis that on certain route 2-2 ending the cg is more. But people really use it the wrong way and now thought that anything that has more cg is the canon route. The word canon route is wrong in itself, who tf come up with the term canon route in yttd? Is the reason for creating two route is for one to be canon only, or for sparing different characters, or for having different storyline? (I personally think that on different route, the story will change and the ones who got to live at last is probably different ). Now i see those who misuse that information everywhere. "In sou route 2-2 ending evil joe AI dont even have new cg but in kanna route he has. See how biased the devs are? he should have drawn more if he really meant the route to be the canon one. Kanna route will get happy ending, sou route is bad ending." I think thats stupid. B*tch, he keep reusing his old art here and there. You can check for yourself. Joe and midori has same hand based on the cg? He's just reusing the hand art. The arm in 3b and 1-1 is the same arm he reuse. Sou and kanna 2-2 ending basically use the same sou drawing, he just changed it a bit. Sara in 2-2 kanna ending use the same cg as when keiji try to calm her in front of computer, he just changed the face. Midori and sara on the 3b game screen cg basically use the same cg in the 3b content, but changed a bit. So i can think why need to create new cg when joe is still malicious as the hallucination in 2-2 sou ending? If i want to create something i will also reuse this to save my time.

So if you wanna really use this cg argument, then maybe you can consider why alice memory game got so many more cg than reko's? and how ranmaru gone insane has so many new sprite and pose with the hair like that. And why when dummy is dead they got cg's. Especially the ranmaru dying one, he got moving cg's and how it was put more effort into that. Then that means dummy dying is actually the canon route since when they alive they got no addtional cg? This is my assumption, but i think the devs just do as many cg as it takes depends on how impactful the scene he's working on, not because its canon, thats really a lazy take if he is actually unwilling to do extra route but still forcing himself to do it anyway. Imagine if dummy is dying but no cg, instead a message " ranmaru/mai/anzu died ". Do you think that will really give impact to you? This game clearly hinting that joe is going to be the spotlight of the game, even in 3b. So when sou set the real joe ai in kanna route for sara, the script is written for the real joe to genuinely react to sara. of course thats going to be heartwrenching since joe himself is the very important part of sara's life. When the script is made that way, lacking of cgs will hamper down the storytelling nankidai genuinely want to deliver. All i can say is it come from the heart of the author himself. If it is just only text for something as tearful as that moment and no cgs, it wont really touch the feeling isnt it? It is the same with alice memory game that tells about how alice "kill" midori. I'm not sure how many it is but atleast there is 3 cgs with one of them has variant. The story of how alice kill midori is also important and should have impact, thus the extra CG's. I can say its about being passionate and indulged in the storytelling.

I dont even know if joe will ever heal sara in sou route, but based on how the story still keep joe relevant til the end, then there must be something that need to happen between them in the end right? Nankidai even made sure that sara see the dog keychain in 3a if player probably choose to not ask gin about the dog keychain he's hiding in ch 2. Its also for relating ranmaru and joe. Having closure or conclusion with joe in the middle of game is still valid, and having a closure with joe at the end of the game is still valid. Imo, having closure with joe at the end of the game after all of those suffering involving him makes the better climax or impact for sara chara development since the game build up to highlight joe and mr. Policeman, it can be even better if all of it are to be pull together in the ending.

Even if the devs has route he prefer, he's not abandoning any route he less prefer, only if its true that he ever have a route he prefer. Plus you dont know which route he's prefer if any. He's taking his work seriously, it just some "fans" looking down on him, even to the point calling him biased, he's punishing the one who take another route, treating like he only use his career for egostatiscal reason (it somehow clearly mirrors that you are the one who egostatiscal to the point of wanting to find any excuse to punish other, you just using the devs name to validate your mindset). If he's dislike people who chose that route that much, then why create that route? If he know its tiring to make alternate route, then why still make the choice to let 3 dummy alive route at the end? It will make more work. I can only assume its out of passion, or just that he deep down wants the character to be alive atleast in a route ( idk if this is correct, i just read google translated version of his public fanbox that he's actually very reluctant at first when the time comes and "crying" so hard when he had to kill joe in chapter 1. So the part where he wants to spare some character is only my assumption ). By this punishing logic, shouldnt he not make alice die when you push reko ai to spare gin, and only do it to those who dont push the ai to save gin by killing real reko? I am more sure that the variants is to tell a different story or who to spare, and specifically for who sara actually was.

Happy endings? I'm not sure. I've expected that once from story with a lot of deaths, wishing for atleast the protagonists alive. Anime or story with a lot of death is definitely my jam, but from what i see, most of them has bittersweet ending, it depends on how the author wants it to be. Some author dont mind killing them all till the end, and some author just easily kill them all because they plan to revive them later. And everyone sense is different. Some japanese people sense in storytelling is a bit different imo. As the one being the audience, happy endings is the most common wish the audience wants. But its all up to the sense of the author. This is why i'm annoyed with some kids from overseas who rarely watch or play many things that involves a lot of death from japan suddenly says that this "one happy ending, this one bad ending! Everyone will survive in this route, everyone dead in this route"

Just play any route you like, nothing wrong with that. Whats wrong is to start this war of ridiculing others or have that irritating attitude towards those who play their own first route and start bad mouthing or desperately throwing bad assumption that one route will end very bad just for the sake of feeling better for your choice and to scare others.You do know that when you read a book, you'll only know if the overall story is good or bad until you know the ending right? The ending will conclude everything that happened. What happening in the fandom is now like, you only read 3/4 of the book and already expecting that this one will have good ending and bad ending. What if its not about the binary, but for the difference in direction? Its not that bad if the story of the book is kinda predictable, but with how plot twists become the main part of yttd's charm, its getting more difficult to predict how it will end. There's a lot of story which was masterpiece in every part as seen by fans, until the ending hits. Its what the author wants, but its not what the fans wants.

If you pick fights with others, even passively, the consequence is all on you. Good luck taking care of your mess.

Thats why i'm reluctant to publish any theory because the fandom will always use it as an excuse to pick fights with other and say " i'm more right bcs i got this proof" . U see in my caption i dont want any of those harasser to even digest my theory. If you are one of them get out of my blog.

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[wickymicky]

you know, i used to say that Egoist or Hi High were my number one favorite kpop songs (it went back and forth, i think i was most vocal about Egoist being my number one but there were times when i felt like it was Hi High), but like... idk... like aside from So What, i feel like i’ve barely listened to Loona at all so far this year, and honestly it’s been like six or seven months, maybe eight or nine, since i regularly listened to Loona every day (again, aside from So What).... i’ve listened to Egoist, a song that i considered my favorite kpop song hands down for the majority of the time i’ve been into kpop, like ten times this year and that’s it... and some of those times were because i had the thought “oh jeez i havent listened to this song in a long time, i should do that... i’m betraying it...”

i wonder if i only kept saying/thinking that egoist is my favorite kpop song because i said it once and i had to stick to it... i think its pretty clear to any mutuals i have that my actual favorite kpop song is something like picky picky though, a song i actually post about all the time and listen to really frequently...

:/

so yeah, there’s no easy way to say this, but it really feels like i’m hanging on to Loona out of a sense of loyalty more than anything else :( it’s hard to put into words but listening to Loona feels kinda different these days. knowing more about how they decided things on the fly and how rushed the selection of the final members was (and how little the members were told) kinda... like... doesn’t it change how you listen to a song like New or Egoist? it certainly gives a lot more context to Yves being really shy in those first loonatvs she was in... and Olivia’s experience with her debut was such a whirlwind, like, she was just kind of thrust into the group... i have soooo much respect for all the members for being able to handle it, and i think it’s a fuckin miracle that it worked and they ended up with twelve incredible members, all of whom are so talented and any group would be lucky to have them, but even still just... some of the fun is lost a little bit for me. and I can’t listen to Everyday I Love You, one of my favorite Loona songs, without thinking of how much Vivi’s potential has been wasted. it turned a song that i have fun while listening to into one that makes me frustrated or sad. 

for whatever reason, i feel less of that when listening to ot12 stuff, even if some members get shit for lines, tho tbh, and this is a really hot take and i’m sorry... but i’m really mostly just into their three title tracks (and Favorite i guess), i rarely listen to their bsides.. they don’t hit me the same way, i guess. anyway though it’s the predebut stuff that makes me frustrated or sad. i cant help but empathize and think of what they must be feeling in the predebut era... happiness and excitement sure, but also nervousness, anxiety, stress, etc... the one by one debut concept was novel and it ended up working out in a sense, but at what cost? it was able to work out because the yyxy members were brought in at the last minute, Hyeju literally with only like 24 hours before they were gonna reveal the next member, and with all the changes we know about like Vivi probably being intended to be in OEC and things like that, and trainees that BBC had who for whatever reason ended up being rejected also probably at the last minute in favor of the yyxy members who were brought on... sigh... idk

it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to be a fan of this group, too. as they get more popular and more recognition, the fandom is growing, and with that comes a lot more drama, none of which i particularly care about (aside from the stuff relating to the group itself, as i’ve been talking about). they got their first win, and i was happy at the time, but... i’m worried about their future. it’s not that i wish they didnt get their first win, it’s just... i hope this doesnt make BBC feel validated in overworking and over-controlling them, you know? i want to believe that a lot has changed for the better since after Butterfly, especially when Jaden Jeong left, but we just have no way of knowing that for sure. there’s evidence for both sides, so at the end of the day, all we can do is speculate, and that doesnt really help anything. 

it sucks to admit this to myself but i feel like i’m losing interest in this group because of all this. whenever i’ve watched loona content from the So What era, sometimes they do seem happy, but even then there’s this feeling that they’re stressed and tired. are they happy? again, we can only speculate, so it’s best not to, but i cant stop my idiot brain from assuming the worst and picking up on signals that might not even actually be there, it’s just confirmation bias. maybe i only feel like theyre not at 100% because i’m already worried theyre not at 100%, you know? hmmm. also, i just... don’t think i feel the same connection with this group that i used to. maybe i never really did, tbh. they were my first group, my introduction to kpop, and i genuinely love some of their stuff still, but i feel like as i’ve gotten sooooo much more understanding of this whole kpop industry and i can put loona’s discography in context with aaaaaallllllll the other kpop songs i’ve listened to.... i feel like a lot of their stuff hasn’t aged as well as i would want, for me. you know how sometimes you wonder how much of what you like is really stuff you like, and how much is only because other people like it so you subconsciously feel you have to too? well, at first i would have said i genuinely love all of it and i could explain why, but idk i think i was convincing myself of some of it... as ive found more stuff that i genuinely love, it becomes clearer what are my things and what arent, you know? when i only knew 30 kpop songs and had 5 super-favorites, it was easier to overestimate some things, but now that i know hundreds and have a really deep pool of super-favorites, some of that early stuff i found is overshadowed, i guess. maybe egoist isnt as special to me anymore cause like.. at the time, i hadnt heard many kpop songs like it, but now... i have. and some of them do what it does just as well................. if not better............... sigh, i feel like im punching my past self in the gut

if this hurts you to read cause you’re a huge orbit, trust me, i know what you mean, it hurts to admit this. it kinda sucks to realize that you’re slowly losing interest in something you once loved and was incredibly important to you. 

oh and by the way, when i talk about losing interest, i dont mean that i dont care about loona anymore lmao, i just mean theyre going from my number 1 or 2 or 3 spot down to like my number 5 or 6 or 7 spot haha, alongside other groups that i like a lot but don’t follow the same way i follow my ults. so like even if i continue feeling this way about them, theyre still one of my favorite groups lol. like i guess i would kinda place them around where i would place twice or another group like that in my top 10? anyway... i just had to get this all off my chest. it started out being a post just about egoist and kinda hi high too, but then i realized i had a lot more to say haha, sorry. hopefully this doesnt upset anyone, idk, i hope you understand where im coming from :(

[antiquechampagne]

Writer Tag

tI was tagged by @lothrilzul. I am pretty new to writing, but I will answer as many as I can! Feel free to take these prompts and answer them yourself!

Author Name: fuzzyizmit on AO3 and tumblr

Fandoms You Write For: Fallout and a single Kingdom Come: Deliverance one-shot.

Where You Post: AO3 and tumblr

Most Popular One-Shot: I only have one... so it would have to be my one-shot for KCD.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Antique Champagne, but Beastly Kingdom is creeping up there!

Favorite Story You Wrote: I don’t know if I can say I have a favorite... but I do remember my favorite line I ever wrote and it is from some short story I wrote back in middle school or something. I remember writing the description of a mean old woman, and I included something along the lines of -“Her black eyes looked like tiny black beads pressed deep into clay.”- and my teacher (and I) really liked that. Maybe some day I will get the chance to use it again.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Anything remotely smutty... if you’ve noticed, there isnt a whole lot of that in my writing (yet). It doesnt mean I havent thought about it or that it isnt planned, but I get REALLY nervous writing and posting it.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: I normally can find some random reference or something related that I like, but one of the last chapters I posted I literally chose a random Korn reference because I, for the life of me, couldn’t come up with anything else.

Do You Outline: Yes, I do. Poorly, but it seems to work so far for me.

Complete: Only my one-shot. Some day I will wrap up my larger stories... but today is not that day.

In-Progress: Antique Champagne and Beastly Kingdom (duh)

Coming Soon: I have a Venom and a ‘crazy-mash-up’ story including the Fallout, Elder Scrolls and Dragon Age universes in the planning stages.

Do You Accept Prompts: I haven’t had the opportunity to accept or decline prompts... but I am open for them.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: That massive mash-up has got me super pumped, but I need to finish Beastly Kingdom before I am going to allow myself to start writing it in earnest.

[ryoshan-a]

ok. listen i know i havent been here in ages and this isn’t an original idea but hear me out:

RWBY as a live action tv series, and our characters as the actors, actresses, and crew.  

set in our world modern verse. featuring a small production company, employing and casting crew and actors from all over the world. not convinced yet? here’s why y’all should indulge me: 

your muse canonically dead or afk? not anymore!! they produce the show now. or write it. or just hang out on the set when they’re free. 

your muse a villain and hard to rp with other folk? not anymore!!! let them be pals with the most unlikely of other people. see how they deal with fndm hating their character. (or loving their char too much)

your char an oc? nOT ANYMORE. theyre canon chars now. maybe they write the show. direct. tell qrow off when he almost posts spoilers on twitter. ANYTHING

whats a crossover? the ocs you rp with are now actors/crew in their own universe’s movie/game/tv show. the chars from other fandoms are actors/crew in their source’s show/movie/game. 

your ship a rarepair u jump through hoops to put together? not anymore!! their actors are shacking up. 

lbr we’re all suffering the hiatus. who needs canon material for this!! they’re in shooting for the eps that’ll air in october. 

seriously, how easy would it be to get,, literally the entire community involved in something like this. TAG ME IF YOU DO!!! i wanna see what folk come up with!!

still not convinced? here’s some ideas i came up with, with the help of @iruzurru and @rosescattered. obv if i mention your muse and you wanna get in on this dont feel like you have to follow these!! these are just meant to inspire™

under the cut, cause lONG: 

taiyang and summer club together every year to fund a holiday for the entire cast and crew to celebrate the end of a season. they buy out an entire plane for the journeys and instigate travelling songs 

taiyang is a writer for the show who played ruby and yang’s dad more as a cameo, but got given more scenes when the character proved rlly popular 

summer is a writer too. noone, not even tai knows she’s gonna be playing summer when she shows up later in the show >:3c 

emerald and cinder being best friends who play up icly for the fans. emerald throws down on twitter with anyone who harrasses cinder for playing a baddie 

winter wasn’t an actor originally. she writes novels, but she was on set one day waiting for weiss to finish shooting so they could go to lunch. 

she was given first dibs on an audition to play weiss’ ic sister and nails it. weiss insists she’s not even acting, she’s just Really Like This 

winter writes fanfic of emerald/cinder on ao3 for shits and giggles dont @ me. noone knows its her bc she uses winter’s ic callsign as a username and ppl just assume its a winter fan

this is yang’s first big acting job, but she’s Known in celebrity circles because her mom is the Very Famous Raven Branwen.raven’s a household name 

raven subsequently gets cast as her real mom because it just makes sense and would boost the series’ popularity following her guest appearance at the end of volume 2 

qrow is very vocal about his character’s storylines and supports charities relating to substance abuse. he frequently finds himself in twitter discourse with fans because he loudly discourages romanticising his character 

this gets him accused of hating his character, which he doesn’t. fandom either loves him or hates him 

qrow and raven arent siblings but they might as well be because they’re so fking close and roast each other on twitter all the time 

neo’s actress is actually a really famous opera singer who’s breaking into acting. this gives rise to the popular fanon that neo actually can talk and has a bitchin’ voice but chooses not to. 

emerald’s an orphan. she bounced around kids homes and developed a great talent for lying in the process. hearing a drama teacher describe acting as ‘lying really well’ sealed the deal for her career choice. she’s had bit parts and lives in a shitty apartment until rwby becomes her first big break. 

coco was a big actress in france. she came to america seeking to break into hollywood, and found it pretty difficult. she’s emerald’s roommate, and it’s emerald who tells her about the opening for a member of team cfvy and pushes her to audition. 

ilia has to wear one of those green screen suits all the time so they can animate her scales. yang gets a selfie with her every time she’s wearing it. takes upon takes have been ruined by blake and sun laughing at her. 

it annoys ilia at first. then, she starts to find it funny. then, she gets her own back by purposefully making people laugh. she does the yoshi mlem every time she cracks her whip. 

pyrrha’s actress routinely gets bit parts and cameos in future volumes bc the cast and crew love her so much they want her around all the time. she’s like 50% of the reason a comedy mini-series where nothing bad happens exists alongside the main series. 

the entire cast and crew rallying around cinder after v3 when the fan backlash comes from pyrrha’s onscreen death. they throw a party after to celebrate pyrrha and cinders great performances. its a greek theme

team rwby, smartasses that they are, all come dressed as achilles with little papier mache arrows stuck in their heels

weiss is a Career Showman. she started off in ballet, then moved to broadway, then onto the bigscreen. she’s had a huge amount of success despite how young she is, and was continually pushed to land greater and greater roles. she suffered a very publicised breakdown because of the stress. 

she ‘disappeared’ in the showbiz scene when she went to live with winter in her remote little writing shack in the middle of assfuck nowhere to recharge. 

rwby is her first acting job since then. she was hesitant to start back at all, but finds herself extremely supported and refreshed by the small, close-knit production. 

blake’s had to work twice as hard for every role she’s ever landed due to being an ethnic minority. her professionalism makes her seem closed off and cold, so she hasn’t made many friends. she has a small, devoted fanbase, though.

summer is one of those fans, and has always wanted to cast blake in something. her character was written with her in mind, and summer was elated when blake accepted the proffered audition and subsequent role in rwby. 

ruby is summer and tai’s daughter!! they are not shy at all about saying that her part was written For Her. they don’t apologise for it either fuck u they created this show they cast who they want. 

the red trailer only initially existed for ruby to do a screentest of her character. it was so well produced and nailed so hard they made it promotional material and wrote the white, black and yellow ones to go with it. 

ruby grew up reading her parents’ stuff and writing her own, too. in school, she wrote, directed and produced an entire play for her classmates, but never thought of acting until her parents suggested she play the lead in this new show they’ve been thinking about. 

ruby and yang met on set. they’ve been thick as thieves ever since. 

...AND SO ON I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY GUYS 

[jisxngie]

mutual / friend appreciation post !!

so because i love all of my buds in my groupchats and all of my mutuals, id like to thank some people for making the late half of my 2017 super fun !!!

==

@felixmosquito kate sksndksk where would i be without you my constellation angel ???? you're so nice and sweet and you're always concerned about me whenever it seems like something's wrong. you're so super pretty too !!! as well as being one of my v few aussie internet friends !!! im so glad we grew close and i hope that one day we'll be able to meet in person !!

@stanstraykidsstantalent rose,,, ,, boi i love you <33 you're hilarious and an amazing person with a beautiful soul !!! thank you for always giving us advice and overall just being a wonderful person in general !! ksnsmsks im still crying over your sparknotes ver of my au that made my year tbh

@douxzi maE SKNSKD ive literally only known you for like a month or so but we've already become really good friends (thank you rose :'>>) and i really hope it stays this way for a v long time !!!! thank you for always brightening my day whether it's by making a joke or just by complimenting me !!! however i dont think im alive after all of those pictures of ten you sent to the gc ksnsksk

@lollipopp3725 fath !!! i love you !!!! thank you for always being so enthusiastic about a lot of things and thank you for always being honest to us in the group chats <33 and thank you so much for helping me with my minsung au !!! i really only thought that this would be us just talking about it and inputting random shit that we felt would go with the storyline :'>> but now we're actually writing it and im really happy about it !!!

@3rachaa neha,,,, what an angel yall go give her some appreciation bc she deserVES IT SKSMKSN i really havent talked to you as much as the others but i still feel as if we've become really close compared to before when i literally had like no friends on this site lmAOSKNSSK i love you !!!

@seungminty mar my favourite fellow sungjin stan !!! thank you for always coming up with bomb ass au ideas in the gc and for always showing your love for sungjin sksnaldn it makes me soft bc of how much you gush over him jsns i relate

@jeonginsbracessavedmylife georgie,, the group chat's mum,,, i love and appreciate you with all my heart <333 thank you for always looking after us since you're the oldest in the gc and thank you for always being so responsible and caring and willing to listen to us <33 please stay safe and healthy !!!

@str4y-k1ds austin,, , thank you for being such a warm and comfortable person to talk to nksnsjs you're like one of my only male friends and im gonna treasure that fact bc im usually really nervous and tend to get really shy around boys sksndka (at least on the internet i am oof)

@mosquitofelixsfreckles lee !! when you see this please know that i thank you for always being such a nice person !!! you're also another one of my few male friends and honestly ily !!! you always look 105% great n soft in photos and i hope you stay happy n healthy !! if you need anything please come talk to me or one of the others in our gcs, we're always willing to help :>>

@dirtysuburbs haruuu, ,, , thank you for being relatable as hell and thank you for being such a great person in general !!!! you always look so great in the photos you send to us and hh,, , i wish i had hair like yours but i prolly wouldnt suit it (eh maybe ill cut it after i move out idk) but thank you !!! you're doing a good job !!

@hellavator emily ksndkdj where do i start ??? okay first of all girl you cute af and secondly thank you for acting so mature at your age (youre literally my age but im so immature sigh,,) youre like a steady rock in our group ?? like a support ??¿ does that make sense skbsksk anYway i love you and stay healthy and make sure you dont get sick !!

@stray6 daphne,, , my girl, my fellow stray kids and day6 stan,,, i love you so much adnsksnd thank you for always making us smile !!! you always hype us up when we send selfies to the gc and always argue against us whenever we say we look ugly in a certain picture or something <333 please stay as sweet and as amazing as you are now !!

@busanschubs vale !! honestly you arent that active in our gc but hey at least whenever binu is mentioned youre there in a flash right ?? lmao anYwAyS we havent talked a whole lot but id just like to thank you for always making sure to pop into the gc every so often to see whats happening and so that we know that youre actually still alive lmao i love you !!!

@straykeeds guan min the Angel™ and also the og gc member who is in basically every gc !!!! ksnsks girl youre so lovely and wonderful and really really nice like sksnsks when will any of my school friends ever get to that standard dam n but thank you for being such a wonderful friend and thank you for always making us happy with your presence !!! we all love you !!!

@jahehyung lu,, , , we havent talked in so lo n g omg but i still love you !!! you were a big part of my 2017 and you're seriously one of the sweetest human beings i know ksndk im so sorry i dont use my main acc that often anymore !!! :'<< but thank you for being there for me and thank you for blessing the day6 fandom and me with your Perfect™ writing !!!!

and to all my mutuals and all of my friends who i sadly couldn't fit into this post:

thank you. each and every one of you has made me so so happy these past couple of months and i really couldn't be any happier that i joined this fandom !!! you all deserve the best for your studies, work, and your physical as well as mental wellbeing. please always remain happy and healthy and remember that i love you all !!!!

let 2018 be a good year for all of us !!!

love,

your golden maknae, vita <333