#i havent posted anything fandom related in ages

[mrverymello]

So this is a coalecroux song.

[electraslight]

i always hate when i see people make posts on tumblr saying 'i hate it when people say they dont like the like button, blah blah insert funnypost about how you like seeing cute hearts or whatever' like artists and creatives on tumblr havent been struggling to get any sort of interaction or have any fun with this site for a while because no one reblogs anything or even sends asks. like i know youre trying to be silly but likes really are causing the downfall of interaction on the site. a lot of you guys are artists, and i bet you remember getting a lot of asks and interaction a year or two ago, even when you werent actively pandering to fandom interests (i know some of you do this now, i see you, i feel you, that's not healthy because it doesnt work either), and now most people's like to reblog ratio is crazy small. look at any art post, and you can see ratios like 17 to 100, 5 to 150, etc etc. and of course no asks, at least not from people who arent telling you to tag 'food warning' or tell you youre a horrible human being for shipping a one year age gap or whatever. and i get a lot of the point of those posts is that you shouldnt be upset that youre getting more likes than reblogs, because you should be happy that anyone likes your art enough to show you they like it, but i think an artist's urge to grow isn't as clout related as these people assume. its wanting more people to see your work, to interact with it. to feel something from it, and the dry well of interaction has made a lot of people move away from the site, because tumblr interactions always felt so personal and so community driven, and now there's no interaction besides harassment. it's not a sin to want your art to be seen, and it's not 'clout goblin behavior' to want members of your community to interact with you and your work. 'likes are interaction too' doesnt matter, because no one gets anything from the interaction besides number go up, which you may find cute and funny, but cute and funny didnt help me meet my best friends, come up with new concepts, have my art feel wanted. Interaction did. And this site has no algorithm, so reblog things you like, type everything you can think of in the tags, comment, send inane asks, or a lot of your favorite artists, creatives, even mutuals just blogging, wont hang around for long

[cloangi]

Get to know me 🔥

**Post may be updated every so often to change wording, to add/delete things, etc

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Part 1 of Bio - Information for starters⤵️

Fine to interact:

Under my age (15)

A bit over 18

A furry (not the gross kind though. Just the ones who dress up for fun)

Part of LGBTQ+

Overall everyone is welcome‼️

Do NOT interact (I seriously dont want any sort of conflict here):

Homophobic

Transphobic

Racist (if you're going out your way to harass people and be an overall bitch that is)

Phobia against any religion

Into sick activities (you already know what I mean by this 😐)

Against the military in any way (We get the whole propaganda stuff, but don't hate people who are active duty, in the reserves, etc. If someone wants to join, don't hate on them and spread death threats, its sad to see some people sre actually like this)

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If I see any of yall tweaking out or being problematic over some shit, don't be surprised if I block your ass from here 💀🙏. I'm tryna keep this a "good vibe" type place. And keep in mind that I tolerate most types of behavior, and I literally never block people (very high and bold emphasis on "never").

So if I do happen to block you, you done messed up.

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General things about me:

15 years old

I'm AROACE 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

ENTJ personality type

Only do art as a hobby (so no money taking or commissions people)

Art consists of my fandom fixations

You can refer to me as either my username or the names Baaz and Keegan. Either one works, I don't care.

Extra: Besides posting low quality drawings of my fixations, I mostly reblog art or anything I can find of the fandoms/fixations I'm in (or know a bit about), such as art, memes, and such. Or you can find some random art that isn't related to any fandom reblogged on here.

(Adding onto the paragraph above): You can find a lot of my art (at least right now) in the "#cod ghosts" tag and the "#r6siege" tag. So if you wanna get a taste of my work you know where to do

I am fine with people + mutuals sending me DM's‼️ Just don't make it weird (you already know what I mean by that 💀)

Also, please do send me asks 🙏‼️. I enjoy responding to them and sadly never get any 😔

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Note: You can make offensive + dark humor jokes (at least with me in the ask box or DM's) I'm into that shit. Can be racist jokes, sexist, sexual in some way, or whatever. Insulting me in any way doesn't affect me in the slighest as long as it's a joke. The more offensive the better—so go all out (not S/A though, that's something that even I'll never joke about).

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Social stuff:

Quora Account - [Place where I've spent most of my time online, around 4-5 years or so. I post random things of me yapping of all topics or things I've found/seen].

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Part 2 of Bio - Fixations⤵️

The list below is color coded based on the fandoms I'm fixated on, or I just like

Orange = Fixated

Green = Like

Rainbow 6 Siege - Don't have the console to play the actual game so I watch it instead.

Call of Duty - Certain campaigns in it, mostly COD Ghosts though (Yes, I have played the OG versions of some of the campaigns on the old ps3 we have, and I do play MP Cod Ghosts).

Hell Divers 2 - Like R6S, I don't have the actual console itself to play it but it's on my wishlist and I really like the concept of the game, plus the community seems pretty fire.

Eddsworld - Used to have a HUGE fixation on this fandom, prob for up to 1-2 years (shit had a strong grip on me)

My Little Pony - I'm surprised this fandom is absolutely booming now. Watched the entire show (forgot everything though 💀), I love the art the fandom makes though, including the AU's.

Saiki K - Started to rewatch it again since I forgot the whole storyline 💀🙏

The Amazing Digital Circus - Caught up on all episodes

Demon Slayer - Watched all seasons

The Amazing World of Gumball - Havent really watched it much, but I really like it including the fan base

Into the Spiderverse - Have never read the comics, but movie-wise I like it

...Damn, you still reading? I mean if you're interested go ahead and drop a follow to this thing (you're likely gonna forget this account anyways, so free follow for me mwhahaha).

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

50% into kotlc, here are some thoughts ive had since the 25% mark :D

@aylin-hijabi @that-multi-fandom-hijabi sorry for tagging yall a lot lmao

first thing that comes to mind thats plot-related n not character-related is prentice. he was exiled 12 years ago, same age as sophie. its so obviously not a coincidence. tho i wonder whats up w him n tiergan (idk how to spell lmao i feel like thats wrong)

also, i wonder just how strong sophie is. like, the way she knocked fitz into the wall ??? thats her not knowing the full extent of her powers. i have a feeling shes always gonna be one of those main characters whos extremely powerful but constantly throughout the series she finds new abilities she has. kinda like percy jackson

im also realizing how stupid ill seem if im just overanalysing everything and my guesses are too far-fetched or too deeply thought out to really mean anything lololol

moving to character-related, i adore dex. he seems kinda spiteful tho ??? esp towards fitz. thats prolly bc the vacker family is apparently rlly famous n shit n meanwhile dexs parents were a bad match. still dont rlly get what that means. i feel like theres more to him. also his crush on sophie is adorable

KEEFE. nothing, just... keefe. havent seen much but from what i HAVE seen, hes hilarious. i remember aylin mentioning that hes like leo valdez in that theyre both hot, funny, and traumatized... still waiting on the 'traumatized' part. she also said hes less major in this book n more major in the second book, so maybe ill find out then

midterms are gonna go wrong just wait i just know it

biana seems acc genuine in wanting to be friends w sophie. but there was one point when she was talking to sophie n there was smth like a glare for a moment ?? idk kinda sus to me. maybe im overthinking it cause i cant think of a possible motive

marella seems cool. in the art, shes absolutely gorgeous, but so is everyone in this goddamn book. also notable that the first time i saw her name i misread it as 'redneck' 💀💀💀

stina is a bitch. nothing else to say, except that she looks terrifyingly like me? except different eye color n i wear glasses loll. i hope to see some character development cause i personally hate the trope of "token mean girl" in books (like drew tanaka or zoya nazyalensky) cause theyre so one dimensional n boring (although zoya does become majorly more likeable throughout the grishaverse books, im hoping to see the same in stina)

irrelevant but the amount of times sophie is ending up in the infirmary reminds me of a roleplay w my friends from like three years ago oml the nostalgia (cause there would at all times be at least one character in the infirmary injured or nearly dead bc we needed that drama to keep the rp going LMAO)

overall, theres not as much to say as there was at the 25% mark. (i feel like theres more i wanna say but i cant think of anything.) prolly cause since then, the book has mainly been abt learning abt the elves' world n culture. i think by the 75% point im gonna have a lot more to say, n then ill post the final update thingie when im 100% done w the book

ill be 75% done in 89 pages, but the last day of midterm is tomorrow, so god knows how long thatll take me :') i promise to try thooo

oh also galvins a bitch but i feel like she has trauma fsr idk shes just giving

[i-sveikata]

I've been reading various fanfics dealing with the series for a year now. Endless variations of Vegas and Pete, Kim and Chay... One shots, novels, longer stories. I feel like almost everything has been said and thought about. The fleshing out of the canon, the back story, the childhood and what might come after.

I developed a real addiction and couldn't get enough, especially of the complex relationship between Vegas and Pete and their respective very multi-faceted characters. The number of authors is huge, but I also spent a lot of time reading them. To my dismay, I am noticing signs of fatigue in me.

Now that everything seems to have been said, every possible happy or tragic ending seems to have been thought out and told, many fics veer off into alternative universes and genres.

It's all wonderful to read and I'm grateful that there are so many unknown but worthwhile authors whose work will never be printed but who are worthy of a large readership.

But: Since fanfiction is tied to concrete people and concrete, and to a readership that has seen the series. How do you see the future? The actors will take on new roles, if all goes well, new beautiful plots will be developed there too and good series or films will be made.

How long can the hype around KinnPorsch and the series continue? Do you have the feeling that everything is coming to an end, now that the anniversary of KP is being celebrated in a big way? Is boredom creeping up on you or is the end not yet in sight and is there still a lot that needs to be written? I have also asked this question to other writers because it really bothers me, but I would be interested in YOUR answer.

Hi there!! hmm interesting question and I don't really want to discount how youre feeling or anything but i do very much doubt that everything that could be possibly said and thought about for this fandom has been done already.

because this show isn't really that old? and the age of the show or when it finished really has no bearing on the existing fandom if you think about it. at a certain point fandom breaks away and becomes its own separate entity.

like i wouldnt say im an expert but the things that keep fandom alive are not really even directly related to whether there's new episodes or video clips or content about the actors from the show that the fans can consume.

take teen wolf for example (because its a fandom ive been in the longest) that show ended in 2017 and literally as of now when i've just checked it on ao3 it has 106,344 works written for it. A show that started in 2011 and finished six years ago. And people are still posting stories for it today! (i myself still have some WIPs which i eventually intend to finish off and share) ignoring the fact that there was a teen wolf movie recently that hardly anyone in the fandom watched it's still inspiring fic, and fanart even now six years later.

and why is that? because there's no time limit on a fandom, it's because of the fans creating things like fanart, fanfic, playlists, gifs, meta analysis, tumblr posts, twitter posts, fandom discords etc. because having a constantly running tv show or a movie or book doesn't keep a fandom alive. fans do.

to compare right now, the works i can see in kinnporsche tv series tag in ao3 havent even topped 10,000 yet. like seriously let that sink in. 106,344 fics to 9,556. like im not really trying to compare right now but its just to give you some idea that KP in particular is really just starting out, like we are literally dealing with a baby fandom here so i wouldnt despair just yet that people have already run out of ideas or that its already finished because if you have dedicated fans behind you you can end up with literally over one hundred thousand stories to read about that fandom. and tbh teen wolf isn't even the biggest fandom out there!!

And if you are feeling fatigue with the KP fandom right now then of course i would recommend stepping away from it for a while in order to give yourself a break. because at the end of the day it is totally up to you to customise your own experience.

im not really sure why it matters whether authors writing for this fandom will be published or not? im mean they literally cant legally publish fandom works? or profit off it? not without sanding the story down to repurpose it for entirely new characters. but you can always save or download copies of your favourite KP fic and if you are interested in a physical copy you could always get these bound into a book yourself (with permission from the fic authors of course).

im also a little hesitant to address the comment about 'worthwhile authors being worthy of a large readership' because it kind of discounts all of the other authors who are putting their time and effort into posting stories and might not be getting the same level of comments or kudos or attention as others. like the whole point of keeping a fandom alive is to interact with all of it and if you want to encourage more content than that means dealing with the fandom at a community level. (im not talking about the dont like/dont read elements of fandom obviously the rule of thumb there is to just click out)

But i personally really dont like the idea of setting some authors above the rest because their stories might have gotten more attention or traction within a fandom. it's meant to be a community. not a hierarchy. nobody should be on a pedestal in fandom. and i would hesitate to put any number of people above anyone else for this reason. like we really all are just people being inspired by the things we watch and experience. and by suggesting that some authors might be 'worthy' it also implies that others are not, which kind of goes against the spirit of fandom imo and can be really discouraging for people creating art or fic that might not be getting as much likes, reblogs, kudos, comments etc compared to others.

I also just want to point out that a lot of people come into fandoms without having ever watched the specific content that the fandom might be about? its actually a very common thing and they still read and engage with the fandom anyway in spite of this? so its really not tied to specific people or a readership that has watched the series.

At the end of the day i really don't think hype is what keeps a fandom alive, it's the dedicated people within that community who like and share and comment and talk to each other about the stories they love.

personally im not at all bored with this fandom (and tbh im still not bored with teen wolf lol) so i hope you aren't discouraged by the idea that a fandom simply will fall apart without its tv show because i absolutely can reassure you that it wont!

and also, taking time from a fandom can also mean that when you are ready to come back there's always the possibility of falling in love all over again. so really dont let the fatigue bother you! just because your love might be waning for the show doesn't mean that others are feeling the same way! there's always plenty more for people to share and enjoy and talk about so its not really over.

tbh fandoms dont ever really finish or disappear completely anyway. like at the end of the day you have platforms like ao3 where peoples works are archived for all time and tumblr where hints of fandom will always still roam about in reblog land. that kind of love doesn't just vanish!

welp this was a long response lol but i hope it helped in some way!

[winteravian]

well, about time I do an introduction post.

INTRODUCTION

hi!! I'm winteravian, simply known as Bird.

welcome to my blog! if you're looking for a loser who constantly hyperfixiates on stupid media that don't need the overly deep significance I give them, then you found the right place.

enjoy your stay! or don't, I won't judge you

GENERAL INFORMATION

technically I have a carrd for this, so : https://winteravian.carrd.co/

note: in this carrd there are my main info, interests and boundaries/dni. I'm still going to list them here more apprehensively since the carrd is a little old and decrepit

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: currently questioning!

age: 16

nationality: italian (forgive any mistakes in English!!)

religion: catholic christian (even if some of my ideals may or may not coincide with what the church has become in this decade...)

what I intend to use this blog for: art!! I am both a digital and traditional artist, though I have still a lot to learn. art is a forever ongoing process, and I believe sharing it can improve many things.

MY BOUNDARIES AND DNI

got this in bold ass letters bc its important.

BOUNDARIES: first and foremost, do not repost my art or claim it as yours. If it comes to my knowledge that you've reposted my art, you will be blocked and reported.

i am not comfortable with DMs unless i know you irl or we are good friends/had a substantial conversiation over some time. If you send me a message request and i don't reply, do not spam me to reply. it's annoying. (this has happened before on other socials)

if i do anyting wrong (in art or in dialogue), please do tell! i am still in a stage of learning and will happily take constructive critcism. this does not include plain pettyness and insults. remain civil, please.

do not ask me for free art. i will not do it. unless i open commissions/asks/specific post for art requests in the future, any art request is closed.

DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF: -you mock ANY religion in any way (christianity, islam, hinduism, bhuddism etc..)

-you support incest, pedophilia, homophobia, zoophilia, s*xual harrassment etc.

-just if you are a creep in general. if any of the info i gather from your profile fit these criteria and others i havent mentioned (but they are essentially common sense) you will be blocked or muted.

WHAT FANDOMS AM I IN? WHAT ARE MY INTERESTS?

boy, there'd be too many to write!! but, to make it simpler for you, I'll drop my most active fandoms:

-smg4 [hyperfix of almost six years, aka since 2019, and counting] and anything glitchprod related

-Aurora (yes the singer)

-sky: children of the light

-cookie run kingdom [sometimes]

-anything disney (I've had a period where I was obsessed with the Disney fairies franchise. I wish it still existed)

-my little pony

-trolls franchise

and many more to count !

my interests are sporadic tbh, but a consistent one is with symbolism of any kind(color, flowers, crystals, christian symbolism, pagan symbolism, stars and animals and whatever else you can think of), birds and the ocean. and silly shows and games on the internet, of course.

if I'll make a masterpost in the future it will probably be here.

also! please note that this blog is the successor of an older one, @maskedb1rd . if you want to check out my old posts go ahead! this blog is now inactive though.

thank you for reading!

[danvillecheese]

watched pnf as a kid and got back into it during high school which is when i think i would have started calling myself a fan

saw pnf first (when it was on tv) and ive seen all three of the shows! theres a lot i like and dislike about each of them, each in the context of their own shows and all that, plus the nostalgia factor etc

the fans themselves seem to be like insanely chill compared to a lot of fandoms which just makes for such a nice online experience! most personal experiences of the show i share with others so it seems to be pretty universal (for people my age) to have the same opinions lol

my experience has gone from lurker to relatively popular blogger which is still a very weird thing to me lmao!! there have been fandom related events but i havent participated due to some restraints. there are a few artists and writers from back in the day i absolutely adored but they dont post that stuff anymore and the newer ones are so so so talented!!!! there was that one youtuber that covered everything from like before the pnf/mml crossover til like just after catu that was pretty popular but that was the only one i watched. probably not a surprise but i make posts and fanart and fic and analyse and make annual surveys!

i have mixed feelings about it. im super happy it got renewed, of course, but it feels like last day of summer was a good place to let it stop. im keeping my mind open to anything though! we'll see how it turns out lol

Input needed

Hey, fellow Dwampyverse fans! I need some input for a silly little thing I'm working on. Please put your responses in my notes (replies, reblogs, etc. inbox/messages is also fine). I want to get answers from new fans, old fans, and everyone in between!

How did you hear about the Dwampyverse or any piece of it, and when did you start considering yourself a "fan"?

Which show did you watch first? Which one(s) have you not seen? What do you like and dislike about the one(s) you have seen? What are you excited for and not excited for about the one(s) you have not seen/what positives and negatives have you heard?

What is your impression of the fans themselves? How would you describe the fans you've interacted with/seen around the internet? What have you heard about them that contrasts with your personal experience, if anything? Describe an experience you shared with members of the Dwampyverse fandom that stuck out to you.

What experience do you have with the fandom thus far? What fandom-related events have you heard about? Name the first ones you can list off the top of your head. Have you participated in them, and how did that go? Do you have any fanartists or fanwriters that you really like in particular? Do you follow any YouTube channels related to the Dwampyverse? Do you write fanfiction, make fanart, post/lurk on social media, or a secret fourth thing?

How do you feel about the PnF revival coming out next year?

[c1nnamonn]

kido, early pokespe, and evillious chronicles

kido and spe i understand perfectly but my extent of participation in evillious is just really me loving riliane and wanting to drop kick adam into the fucking sun

[twistedtummies2]

if you run a kink/fetish blog you really shouldnt be putting stuff in the main tags. the main tags are not an 18+ space, theyre for minors and adults alike, and kink stuff doesnt belong there. i havent reported you yet because i want to give you a chance to reflect and change your behavior, but if i keep seeing you in the main/character tags, i will flag the posts and your blog as sensetive content. as someone who was affected by seeing a lot of fetish stuff at a young age bc of irresponsible fandoms, im very passionate about this topic. i dont care if you publish this or not.

I was never aware that the tags apparently are "age managed." Plenty of people do things of this nature without having to worry about stuff like this. I also was not (and am not) aware of what "main tags" are. So I sincerely do not know what you are referring to, specifically. And if you wish to call me out and claim I'm playing dumb...no, I'm not playing, I sincerely have no clue. I honestly have never seen any reason or known of any reason to monitor my tags, so I have not done so for that reason above all else. IF, from the way you're speaking, this is some sort of unspoken rule on Tumblr, or if I perhaps missed something way, way back when I joined the site, then I apologize and I am perfectly willing to "change my behavior," as you put it, because the last thing I want is to scar young innocent people for life, the way you claim happened to you. However, having said that, I would like to say two more things. One, there is no reason to threaten me with reporting like this. One other person came to me some time ago to tell me that, evidently, the "g/t" tag is one that is meant for all ages, so I shouldn't use it. I thanked them, apologized, and I no longer use that tag. They, in turn, thanked me, apologized in case they seemed rude, and then moved on with their life. Like I said, I am totally willing to change my practices if that is something that HAS to happen; I do not like breaking the rules. But your rudeness is not appreciated, by seemingly assuming that I am doing this maliciously. A simple "you shouldn't use these specific tags" would have been well and good, then I'd know to either change how I manage that matter, or stop wielding them altogether. Two, and most importantly...if this stuff offends you and bothers you so much, then you have no reason to look at my page. And I do not believe my little kink blog is some blight upon whatever taglines you're referring to; if by "main tags" you're referring to things like my more analytical pieces that have nothing to do with kinks, there's not much I can do there, especially since those AREN'T kink-based. As far as I can perceive, those are doing no harm. If by "main tags" you're referring to character names or whatever...I can search a character name and find tons upon tons of stuff that has nothing to do with kinks long before I run into anything related to my interests. I know, I've tried. My work and others doesn't really pop up too often, UNLESS I'm specifically looking for the kink in conjunction. Also, I should think that anyone reading it will realize it's not for them and turn away.

I appreciate your concern, and I understand it...but do not dictate things like this to me as if you run the website, or have the right to decide what people will or will not post. If you would care to discuss this in a civil and polite manner, please feel free to contact me via PM, so we can engage in such discourse. Until then, I will continue to tag things the way I always have, not because I am trying to hurt anyone, but because it simply the most obvious way I know how. If that bothers you so much, then tell me how to fix it, don't simply say "stop it or I'll report you" when I'm not even really sure what I'm doing wrong. There are many others like me. We are not animals. We are not monsters. And we are not out to hurt anyone. We just want to write our silly, kinky nonsense and keep to ourselves. Do not engage in witch hunts as if we are some hideous plague upon the universe. Most of us are just lonely geeks who want a place to express our darker side. Thank you.

[noneofyourbusiness42]

My progression with Snape is an odd yet insightful one that really opens the eyes and reflects the Harry Potter fandom. I wonder how many entered the fandom in similar ways?

I got majorly into HP when I was about 14 (2013) and, of course, got into the online communities. I wasn't heavily involved (with the online spaces) but became pretty intensely in love with Wolfstar which, in turn, bought me to the main marauder side of the fandom. Along with that came all of the Anti Snape posts you commonly see floating around.

And, of course, like an impressionable 14 year old, I regurgitated all of those posts I saw and spewed all the hateful words an angry traumatised 14 year old has. To the point I ended up passively bullying someone in my maths class/friend group every lesson we had together for loving Snape/Alan Rickman. (Just an edit, we're fine now! Bonded over our love for cats and my stinky cat named Severus)

It wasn't until I was about 16 when I finally broke that spell and realised 'hey, I don't need to be a fucking asshole all the time, and hating things isn't a personality trait ' I decided that maybe I should do a bit of digging into Snape for myself?

When you exist in the HP fandom as only a lurker, you're very quickly conditioned to frown upon 'Snovers' and SnApE DiD nOThInG WrOnG type people of the fandom. The moment you see Snape as anything other than the greasy hateful persona he puts on in the books, you're bullied and casted out from the mainstream fandom. The irony being he is a grey character but viewing him as anything but morally black, you'll be an outcast as quick as you can say SnaPeS aN iNcEl.

Which made it really fucking hard to explore this character A T A L L !

Anyway, when i finally snapped and decided that following the herd was stupid, I skipped off to tumblr (there's only so much wiki can give you,) to investigate Snape and what all the fuss was about. I actually started to roleplay him at the time on an old rp forum, using this opportunity to really deep dive. I figured if I could roleplay as him and not fall in love, then he truly was evil.

I fell down a fucking rabbit hole.

A rabbit hole of shared experiences of trauma, poverty, unfit parents, and school bullies. I fell down the rabbit hole into the world of a man i could truly and utterly relate too. Which made it hard, so fucking hard, to sit there and hate him. And in turn, I started to question, maybe I'm just as awful as him? And do I deserve to meet the same hate as Snape?

Needless to say, the moment you start to view Snape as the beautifully complex rainbow of tones across the grey spectrum, many spaces within the fandom become utterly horrendous to exist in.

I havent been able to enjoy Wolfstar or anything Remus Lupin related in... ages because those parts of the fandom have become unsafe to exist in as someone who appreciates both of these deeply traumatised and flawed characters.

I love the Snapedom because they're inclusive, even when their very own fandom has excluded them.

[beetleboo]

long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked. 

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

[enzo-zzz]

A vent on the fandom + cg

If you dont wanna hear any negativity, please just ignore this post. It includes dissatisfication on the yttd fandom and ongoing belief in it. I'm not going to use very kind words here, so just ignore this post. 3b spoilers included.

I like yttd so much, but the english fandom, i cannot interact because how toxic it is. Even the smallest different of which route you choose, will attract anyone to abuse, harrass, ridicule or humiliate you. And to be truth, there are many of them who are so judgemental, to the point that there is only one thing that are right and the other are wrong. Black and white mindset. The term "canon route" is what fans created itself. I guess there are many of them who are teens or kids, since most of kids who havent grown up yet tend to lean towards black and white mindset, even if they believe they are not. If you find people who keep arguing especially on social media, you can bet that its teens. Adult are too tired to involve in things like fighting with strangers. There is one time when the poll asked your age and the age range quite small to teens age. I guess thats why i think so.

OTHER THAN THAT, THERE'S ONE THING I'M ANNOYED WITH. ABOUT THE CG AND HOW THE FANDOM DECIDES THAT THE MORE CGS, THE MORE CANON IT IS. To be perfectly honest, i'm the one who came up with the analysis that on certain route 2-2 ending the cg is more. But people really use it the wrong way and now thought that anything that has more cg is the canon route. The word canon route is wrong in itself, who tf come up with the term canon route in yttd? Is the reason for creating two route is for one to be canon only, or for sparing different characters, or for having different storyline? (I personally think that on different route, the story will change and the ones who got to live at last is probably different ). Now i see those who misuse that information everywhere. "In sou route 2-2 ending evil joe AI dont even have new cg but in kanna route he has. See how biased the devs are? he should have drawn more if he really meant the route to be the canon one. Kanna route will get happy ending, sou route is bad ending." I think thats stupid. B*tch, he keep reusing his old art here and there. You can check for yourself. Joe and midori has same hand based on the cg? He's just reusing the hand art. The arm in 3b and 1-1 is the same arm he reuse. Sou and kanna 2-2 ending basically use the same sou drawing, he just changed it a bit. Sara in 2-2 kanna ending use the same cg as when keiji try to calm her in front of computer, he just changed the face. Midori and sara on the 3b game screen cg basically use the same cg in the 3b content, but changed a bit. So i can think why need to create new cg when joe is still malicious as the hallucination in 2-2 sou ending? If i want to create something i will also reuse this to save my time.

So if you wanna really use this cg argument, then maybe you can consider why alice memory game got so many more cg than reko's? and how ranmaru gone insane has so many new sprite and pose with the hair like that. And why when dummy is dead they got cg's. Especially the ranmaru dying one, he got moving cg's and how it was put more effort into that. Then that means dummy dying is actually the canon route since when they alive they got no addtional cg? This is my assumption, but i think the devs just do as many cg as it takes depends on how impactful the scene he's working on, not because its canon, thats really a lazy take if he is actually unwilling to do extra route but still forcing himself to do it anyway. Imagine if dummy is dying but no cg, instead a message " ranmaru/mai/anzu died ". Do you think that will really give impact to you? This game clearly hinting that joe is going to be the spotlight of the game, even in 3b. So when sou set the real joe ai in kanna route for sara, the script is written for the real joe to genuinely react to sara. of course thats going to be heartwrenching since joe himself is the very important part of sara's life. When the script is made that way, lacking of cgs will hamper down the storytelling nankidai genuinely want to deliver. All i can say is it come from the heart of the author himself. If it is just only text for something as tearful as that moment and no cgs, it wont really touch the feeling isnt it? It is the same with alice memory game that tells about how alice "kill" midori. I'm not sure how many it is but atleast there is 3 cgs with one of them has variant. The story of how alice kill midori is also important and should have impact, thus the extra CG's. I can say its about being passionate and indulged in the storytelling.

I dont even know if joe will ever heal sara in sou route, but based on how the story still keep joe relevant til the end, then there must be something that need to happen between them in the end right? Nankidai even made sure that sara see the dog keychain in 3a if player probably choose to not ask gin about the dog keychain he's hiding in ch 2. Its also for relating ranmaru and joe. Having closure or conclusion with joe in the middle of game is still valid, and having a closure with joe at the end of the game is still valid. Imo, having closure with joe at the end of the game after all of those suffering involving him makes the better climax or impact for sara chara development since the game build up to highlight joe and mr. Policeman, it can be even better if all of it are to be pull together in the ending.

Even if the devs has route he prefer, he's not abandoning any route he less prefer, only if its true that he ever have a route he prefer. Plus you dont know which route he's prefer if any. He's taking his work seriously, it just some "fans" looking down on him, even to the point calling him biased, he's punishing the one who take another route, treating like he only use his career for egostatiscal reason (it somehow clearly mirrors that you are the one who egostatiscal to the point of wanting to find any excuse to punish other, you just using the devs name to validate your mindset). If he's dislike people who chose that route that much, then why create that route? If he know its tiring to make alternate route, then why still make the choice to let 3 dummy alive route at the end? It will make more work. I can only assume its out of passion, or just that he deep down wants the character to be alive atleast in a route ( idk if this is correct, i just read google translated version of his public fanbox that he's actually very reluctant at first when the time comes and "crying" so hard when he had to kill joe in chapter 1. So the part where he wants to spare some character is only my assumption ). By this punishing logic, shouldnt he not make alice die when you push reko ai to spare gin, and only do it to those who dont push the ai to save gin by killing real reko? I am more sure that the variants is to tell a different story or who to spare, and specifically for who sara actually was.

Happy endings? I'm not sure. I've expected that once from story with a lot of deaths, wishing for atleast the protagonists alive. Anime or story with a lot of death is definitely my jam, but from what i see, most of them has bittersweet ending, it depends on how the author wants it to be. Some author dont mind killing them all till the end, and some author just easily kill them all because they plan to revive them later. And everyone sense is different. Some japanese people sense in storytelling is a bit different imo. As the one being the audience, happy endings is the most common wish the audience wants. But its all up to the sense of the author. This is why i'm annoyed with some kids from overseas who rarely watch or play many things that involves a lot of death from japan suddenly says that this "one happy ending, this one bad ending! Everyone will survive in this route, everyone dead in this route"

Just play any route you like, nothing wrong with that. Whats wrong is to start this war of ridiculing others or have that irritating attitude towards those who play their own first route and start bad mouthing or desperately throwing bad assumption that one route will end very bad just for the sake of feeling better for your choice and to scare others.You do know that when you read a book, you'll only know if the overall story is good or bad until you know the ending right? The ending will conclude everything that happened. What happening in the fandom is now like, you only read 3/4 of the book and already expecting that this one will have good ending and bad ending. What if its not about the binary, but for the difference in direction? Its not that bad if the story of the book is kinda predictable, but with how plot twists become the main part of yttd's charm, its getting more difficult to predict how it will end. There's a lot of story which was masterpiece in every part as seen by fans, until the ending hits. Its what the author wants, but its not what the fans wants.

If you pick fights with others, even passively, the consequence is all on you. Good luck taking care of your mess.

Thats why i'm reluctant to publish any theory because the fandom will always use it as an excuse to pick fights with other and say " i'm more right bcs i got this proof" . U see in my caption i dont want any of those harasser to even digest my theory. If you are one of them get out of my blog.

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[wickymicky]

you know, i used to say that Egoist or Hi High were my number one favorite kpop songs (it went back and forth, i think i was most vocal about Egoist being my number one but there were times when i felt like it was Hi High), but like... idk... like aside from So What, i feel like i’ve barely listened to Loona at all so far this year, and honestly it’s been like six or seven months, maybe eight or nine, since i regularly listened to Loona every day (again, aside from So What).... i’ve listened to Egoist, a song that i considered my favorite kpop song hands down for the majority of the time i’ve been into kpop, like ten times this year and that’s it... and some of those times were because i had the thought “oh jeez i havent listened to this song in a long time, i should do that... i’m betraying it...”

i wonder if i only kept saying/thinking that egoist is my favorite kpop song because i said it once and i had to stick to it... i think its pretty clear to any mutuals i have that my actual favorite kpop song is something like picky picky though, a song i actually post about all the time and listen to really frequently...

:/

so yeah, there’s no easy way to say this, but it really feels like i’m hanging on to Loona out of a sense of loyalty more than anything else :( it’s hard to put into words but listening to Loona feels kinda different these days. knowing more about how they decided things on the fly and how rushed the selection of the final members was (and how little the members were told) kinda... like... doesn’t it change how you listen to a song like New or Egoist? it certainly gives a lot more context to Yves being really shy in those first loonatvs she was in... and Olivia’s experience with her debut was such a whirlwind, like, she was just kind of thrust into the group... i have soooo much respect for all the members for being able to handle it, and i think it’s a fuckin miracle that it worked and they ended up with twelve incredible members, all of whom are so talented and any group would be lucky to have them, but even still just... some of the fun is lost a little bit for me. and I can’t listen to Everyday I Love You, one of my favorite Loona songs, without thinking of how much Vivi’s potential has been wasted. it turned a song that i have fun while listening to into one that makes me frustrated or sad. 

for whatever reason, i feel less of that when listening to ot12 stuff, even if some members get shit for lines, tho tbh, and this is a really hot take and i’m sorry... but i’m really mostly just into their three title tracks (and Favorite i guess), i rarely listen to their bsides.. they don’t hit me the same way, i guess. anyway though it’s the predebut stuff that makes me frustrated or sad. i cant help but empathize and think of what they must be feeling in the predebut era... happiness and excitement sure, but also nervousness, anxiety, stress, etc... the one by one debut concept was novel and it ended up working out in a sense, but at what cost? it was able to work out because the yyxy members were brought in at the last minute, Hyeju literally with only like 24 hours before they were gonna reveal the next member, and with all the changes we know about like Vivi probably being intended to be in OEC and things like that, and trainees that BBC had who for whatever reason ended up being rejected also probably at the last minute in favor of the yyxy members who were brought on... sigh... idk

it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to be a fan of this group, too. as they get more popular and more recognition, the fandom is growing, and with that comes a lot more drama, none of which i particularly care about (aside from the stuff relating to the group itself, as i’ve been talking about). they got their first win, and i was happy at the time, but... i’m worried about their future. it’s not that i wish they didnt get their first win, it’s just... i hope this doesnt make BBC feel validated in overworking and over-controlling them, you know? i want to believe that a lot has changed for the better since after Butterfly, especially when Jaden Jeong left, but we just have no way of knowing that for sure. there’s evidence for both sides, so at the end of the day, all we can do is speculate, and that doesnt really help anything. 

it sucks to admit this to myself but i feel like i’m losing interest in this group because of all this. whenever i’ve watched loona content from the So What era, sometimes they do seem happy, but even then there’s this feeling that they’re stressed and tired. are they happy? again, we can only speculate, so it’s best not to, but i cant stop my idiot brain from assuming the worst and picking up on signals that might not even actually be there, it’s just confirmation bias. maybe i only feel like theyre not at 100% because i’m already worried theyre not at 100%, you know? hmmm. also, i just... don’t think i feel the same connection with this group that i used to. maybe i never really did, tbh. they were my first group, my introduction to kpop, and i genuinely love some of their stuff still, but i feel like as i’ve gotten sooooo much more understanding of this whole kpop industry and i can put loona’s discography in context with aaaaaallllllll the other kpop songs i’ve listened to.... i feel like a lot of their stuff hasn’t aged as well as i would want, for me. you know how sometimes you wonder how much of what you like is really stuff you like, and how much is only because other people like it so you subconsciously feel you have to too? well, at first i would have said i genuinely love all of it and i could explain why, but idk i think i was convincing myself of some of it... as ive found more stuff that i genuinely love, it becomes clearer what are my things and what arent, you know? when i only knew 30 kpop songs and had 5 super-favorites, it was easier to overestimate some things, but now that i know hundreds and have a really deep pool of super-favorites, some of that early stuff i found is overshadowed, i guess. maybe egoist isnt as special to me anymore cause like.. at the time, i hadnt heard many kpop songs like it, but now... i have. and some of them do what it does just as well................. if not better............... sigh, i feel like im punching my past self in the gut

if this hurts you to read cause you’re a huge orbit, trust me, i know what you mean, it hurts to admit this. it kinda sucks to realize that you’re slowly losing interest in something you once loved and was incredibly important to you. 

oh and by the way, when i talk about losing interest, i dont mean that i dont care about loona anymore lmao, i just mean theyre going from my number 1 or 2 or 3 spot down to like my number 5 or 6 or 7 spot haha, alongside other groups that i like a lot but don’t follow the same way i follow my ults. so like even if i continue feeling this way about them, theyre still one of my favorite groups lol. like i guess i would kinda place them around where i would place twice or another group like that in my top 10? anyway... i just had to get this all off my chest. it started out being a post just about egoist and kinda hi high too, but then i realized i had a lot more to say haha, sorry. hopefully this doesnt upset anyone, idk, i hope you understand where im coming from :(

[antiquechampagne]

Writer Tag

tI was tagged by @lothrilzul. I am pretty new to writing, but I will answer as many as I can! Feel free to take these prompts and answer them yourself!

Author Name: fuzzyizmit on AO3 and tumblr

Fandoms You Write For: Fallout and a single Kingdom Come: Deliverance one-shot.

Where You Post: AO3 and tumblr

Most Popular One-Shot: I only have one... so it would have to be my one-shot for KCD.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Antique Champagne, but Beastly Kingdom is creeping up there!

Favorite Story You Wrote: I don’t know if I can say I have a favorite... but I do remember my favorite line I ever wrote and it is from some short story I wrote back in middle school or something. I remember writing the description of a mean old woman, and I included something along the lines of -“Her black eyes looked like tiny black beads pressed deep into clay.”- and my teacher (and I) really liked that. Maybe some day I will get the chance to use it again.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Anything remotely smutty... if you’ve noticed, there isnt a whole lot of that in my writing (yet). It doesnt mean I havent thought about it or that it isnt planned, but I get REALLY nervous writing and posting it.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: I normally can find some random reference or something related that I like, but one of the last chapters I posted I literally chose a random Korn reference because I, for the life of me, couldn’t come up with anything else.

Do You Outline: Yes, I do. Poorly, but it seems to work so far for me.

Complete: Only my one-shot. Some day I will wrap up my larger stories... but today is not that day.

In-Progress: Antique Champagne and Beastly Kingdom (duh)

Coming Soon: I have a Venom and a ‘crazy-mash-up’ story including the Fallout, Elder Scrolls and Dragon Age universes in the planning stages.

Do You Accept Prompts: I haven’t had the opportunity to accept or decline prompts... but I am open for them.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: That massive mash-up has got me super pumped, but I need to finish Beastly Kingdom before I am going to allow myself to start writing it in earnest.