#i havent looked further on the list but im. pretty sure theres more that i have yet to find. maybe

[ajdrawshq]

no wonder i didnt know how to activate the bad touch achievement . i already did everything EXCEPT properly talk to the poor guy for the actual event. man.

[cerberus-new-owner]

I've returned with yet another headcannon / rant thingy on the brothers / everyone buuuuuuuuut anyways

so we all know about the devilswitches and if i remember correctly the devildom equivelant (is that the right spelling??) of mario kart is devil kart or smth idrk what im on about rn lol buuuuuuuuuuut (and this has probably already been talked about before i just cant remember/ havent acctually gotten that far into the games) who would be the best at the game other than levi (in my opinion, sorry if this is a bit ooc)

so without further ado the list from best to worst out of the brothers in my opinion at the devildom equvalent of mario kart with explainations (theres a summarised version with the dateables at the end for those who dont wanna read my ramblings)

Levi - do i have to explain why

Belphegor - he and beel seem to be the ones who hang out with levi the most (other than mammon but he steals more than he plays) so i feel like with their own mini game nights beel and belphie would've picked up some form of skill when it came to the multiplayer games levi owns also i get weird speed demon vibes from belphie i know his sin is sloth and all but i feel like he'd be eerily good at racing games

Beel - pretty much the same as belphegor but he doesn't give me those kind of speed demon vibes like belphie does when it comes to video games and stuff he gives me more 'I'll play if you guys want to play' kinda vibes yet still manages to get a decent score everytime cause he would have picked up some form of skill from playng with

Satan - lets be honest he probably plays the game secretly when he doesn't have anything to read or do purely so he can be better than lucifer at family game nights whenever levi gets to chose the game, satan probably has a secret chart of the games his brothers tend to chose most offten and any new games that enter the house of lamentation mans is doing the most he can whilst still being secretive to master as many of the games in the hol aspossible just so he can hold it over luci's head the only games on his chart that he hasn't been able to master to a point where he can beat lucifer are the games lucifer choses on the gamenights

Lucifer - i dont know man i just feel like lucifer would be better than mams and asmo at the game

Mammon - he's literally just getting distracted by the coins on the track and blabbering on about the coin limit and how he can hold so much more grimm than that before attempting to prove himself by asking (begging) his brothers for grimm so he can prove his point if they decide to give in and hand him some grimm so he can prove his point he's dropping all of it trying to run way with the grimm in his arms before sheepishly returning with a singular coin in his hand picking up some of the grimm he dropped

Asmodeus - lets be so for real right now he probably refuses to play this game because he hates how focusing so much distracts him from time he could be spending pampering himself or making sure his nails are painted just the right shade or the fact that when most game nights are happening they start to eat into his precious beauty sleep (dont worry asmo i get you i should be sleeping rn) he probably only participetes in the games he knows he'll win in (aka the games he gets to chose) or the games where he can team up with someone and have them do most of the work (usually satan) if he's acctually plaing this game with everyone else he's acctually not he's going through every character and talking about their outfits before chosing who he dubs the cutest for that night and then making the cutest cart he can to suit the charcter until one of the other brothers gets bored and tells asmo he can sit out of the game and just watch

if i were to add the others the list would probably look something like this and i dont wanna write that much so i'll just summarise my reasons for everyone

levi - the reasons are obvious

belphegor - like i said speed demon vibes

barbatos - also gives off speed demon vibes

beel - some sort of stange skill gained

satan - wants to be better than luci

solomon - wants to get a pact with luci

lucifer - would just be better than asmo and mams

diavolo - he just wants to enjoy the game

luke - no particular reason other than it'd be funny to watch mammon lose to him

mammon - idiot

asmo - beauty sleep / pampering self / takes to long to decide

simeon - i love simeon but lets be honest he probably wouldn't even be able to use the controls

if anyone acctually read through all that thank you if you just skipped to the summarised part also thank you it makes my day to know someone at least looked at these (expecially this one it took me atleast an hour between me playing mario kart and me getting distracted) i may return with more ideas that may not be original but i've put my own spin on dont expect any big fics maybe a drabble or rant here and there but if i do decide to continnue posting obey me content it will most likely be dumb little headcannons like this or funny things i find in the games as i continue to play them through (for the third time in the past 2 years, barely made it past lesson 18 and then my laptop died so i had to restart) (

forgot to add this before posting buuuut) I hope everyone have a good night/day (evening, morning, breakfast lunch?? diner????)

racing to the masterlist

[funkylittledemon]

autism and emotions is so.... well it fucking sucks is what it is. i need my mind to slow down for a second to get all these thoughts down bc i will explode if i dont get them out there (hence why this post - only bee is gonna see this & knows me enough to be worried for more than an hour or so and if i put this where nobody can see it aint actually out there) (wassup bee dw i am okay)

anyway

i say that life is just getting to me rn and it is but thats too vague a statement. current affairs (an impartial term but a useful one here) are getting to me - I'm trying to navigate adulthood while it feels like the life i was promised is being taken away by whatever event you want to pick; global warming, late-stage capitalism, multiple genocides, the list goes on. and I'm one of the lucky ones!! how fucked up is that! so there's that constant stress hanging above my head.

then there's more abstract life: navigating uni and living alone and looking after myself while forming relationships and starting to try carve a path for myself. this one isn't as bad but still can't be ignored and the fact that interpersonal relationships have become so scrutinised through social media doesn't help. no matter the insecurity you have or your own specific factors there will be someone online telling you your worst fears are right - i cant say how many times ive scrolled past a reel saying that i havent had a message back because "he" doesn't care. does the person saying this even know I've seen it, let alone who i am or who "he" is? No!! but the sentiment sticks with you despite only seeing it for 3 seconds before scrolling on, despite logically knowing it can't apply to me because its a catch-all statement to everyone who feels insecure pushed onto us by an algorithm that thinks we want to hear that. social media is feeding into our fears and insecurities and we can't stop it. as an autistic person whos insecure as fuck and who knows they dont understand a lot of societal cues being told by some random person that im right to be insecure really doesn't help - i get the idea of something stuck in my head and bc i know its bs i try get it out which cements it further into my mind and lends it credence.

then there's uni itself - i am now faced with the realisation that everything leading me up to uni and my course has been about me helping other people, often to my own detriment. i chose a counselling course because i was always the therapist friend, the one who everyone else went to for help. and wouldn't you know it I've been burnt out for years and literally don't have it in me to help strangers, or give a shit about their lives. i cared so much and made my entire life about helping other people that i had no idea what i wanted to do. im switching to just psychology now, because it is interesting and i do enjoy it but im kind of lost now i dont have that purpose. it also scares me just how much of my life hadn't been about me at all and im still not sure who i am if im not helping someone. obviously thats the dramatic version but you get the gist. uni's been a wakeup call i wasn't prepared for and theres the work and exams on top of that

christ this is long. okay. what else was there. emotions. god i hate emotions. this is the hard bit. all my emotions are so so big and i am so so small and it feels like they would devour me whole if they could. anxiety is a big one. recently pretty much all ive been feeling is anxiety - a deep anxiety that makes me nauseous pretty much 24/7. last week on friday i had what i call a breakdown. i still dont understand it (which is scary enough - every other breakdown i can disect and point to the cause). i just sarted screaming in the middle of the street and couldn't stop and its making me anxious just typing this up. then there was a day of panic attack after panic attack (lost count after the 4th i think) and then a few days later and some bad decisions (booze. ik i shouldn't have drank but i thought i was ok to drink) i had another breakdown. i dont remember much of this one but it ended in me being locked out and sobbing - security had to let me in and it must've been bad bc the guy gave me a card with hotlines on it. (again, i am okay). i lost my leather jacket that night which both sucks bc i loved that jacket and also the fact that it's gone is a constant reminder of something im ashamed of. after that it was just this constant nauseating anxiety, occasionally spiralling into something more but not significant enough to include. the thing about me and emotions is that my strategy for dealing with them is to ignore and repress them until they're not my problem anymore. which is bad. but idk how to cope with them healthily and when i feel okay i never know if its because i repressed them again or because i genuinely feel okay. being around other people helps but thats probably not a great thing - i hide my emotions from other people to avoid being a burden. not that its always a bad thing that my friends make me feel better its just not a sustainable approach to constantly avoid being alone. i have this constant struggle of feeling emotions so intensely then feeling shame because of how intensely i felt those emotions or how they made me act.

going on from emotions fucking me over and moving on from Life being an issue anxiety is a fucking bitch. all my life I've felt like an outsider and so constantly nervous about everything. it was hell and then in 6th form i made friends who were so so confident and i finally started to relax a little bit more and not feel bad about taking up space. uni was even better! i had flatmates i loved and i was going out doing things I'd never dreamed of and i was making friends!! i barely recognised myself and i loved it!! then the breakdown happened and i was plunged headfirst back into the old cycle of anxiety and going back to that after feeling what life could be like? that was worse than the breakdown. it feels like ive never felt worse and the knowledge that theres no reason for it, that nothing had actually changed other than me and i could still be out there with confidence but i wasn't was such a crushing feeling it felt like i was never gonna feel okay again. dramatic i know but the truth.

im home for easter break now and typing this out has helped and going back to my old stomping grounds has shown me i have still changed and i do still have the confidence even if i couldn't access it for a hot min. I'm still anxious but thats okay. my emotions don't have an all poweful spell over me and anxiety can suck my dick. there's still the fear that I'll go back to uni and it'll all come rushing back however im just gonna see how this break goes. im gonna be alone whether i like it or not while im down here and if i can manage to be okay with that then I'll be fine. and i do have a support system both here and up at university.

[la5t-res0rt]

Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

[takusanno]

ship biases for macbeth & loke !

( ship bias! ) in no particular order.

Macbeth:

+ Sorano: Its one i’m happy with either otp or brotp (its an original ship from way back but i havent developed it or had a chance to think much about it so its probably more sitting in brotp land atm, it needs more love in any case). They have been together forever, they Know each other. They Get it. Which could also be bad in a way but idk. She is also one of the few people he actually cares about :’) and they just have such a Look 

+ Meredy: Ever since Oracion Seis joined CS i’ve been thinking about these two! They’ve done bad things, she’s working to be good. He’s.......well, not really working on that. It could all go so Bad but also just be interesting. He might mess with her and i dont think my boy is really capable of a good kinda love but kjngkfjn they look nice together ok. And i think they could have a good dynamic and she really just. Puzzles him. I’ve also kinda actually had a bad experience with this ship in the past but I’m trying not to let it taint the ship as a whole! 

+ Levy: She’s a feisty little nerd and he is here for it ok. I have been craving at least a brotp with them for like 5 years for real 😭 i think her intelligence will get him hooked especially. But also again, he’s gonna mess with her and tug at any insecurity she has, so theres gonna be some rough patches for sure. But also i just think they’d look cute.

+ Juvia: HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT HER OK she and gajeel destroyed some of the guilds Oracion Seis were running and in my book he was impressed. He has long been interested in her since then, she’s highly skilled and she’s smart and he also just doesn’t really understand her

+ Millianna: they’ve both survived the Tower and he remembers her from there. A running theme for him in any sort of relationship is for him to push the boundaries and just be an ass, he likes to get into peoples minds and mess with them (it isnt until they either break or he starts to respect them more that he eases up) but with Milli i think he will just let her be. He knows what she’s been through and for once he doesn’t want to further someone’s pain. She’s also super frickin cute and I’m a sucker for the bubbly girl and emo dude aesthetic. Also he really likes cats so they can bond over that.

Honorable mentions: 

Erza (honestly just hateship all the way 😂), Cana (fun and chill vibes im thinking), Flare (in a verse where she’s joined CS maybe and idk. they both have fabulous hair and are pretty but with a vein of psycho), Lucy (i used to ship it a lot, i think her intelligence and strength would interest him, i like the light and dark aesthetic too, but its also another ship i had a bad experience with, so its a little lower on the list for me atm), Mary (shhhhh ok they would be fun brotp or otp)

Loke:

+ Cana: Canon teammates, good friends. Beautiful looking pair. They have such great potential and with the right plotting it could hurt so good. I imagine they had a lot of trust before he was called out as being a spirit and i’d love to explore them working on rebuilding their connection. Angst and tension central.

+ Lucy: Their bond is so so so so important to me in whatever form it is. I’ve shipped them for a long time but also its difficult because of him being under her contract, so honestly I’m absolutely happy for some one-sided love or tragic forbidden love/believed unrequited stuff. He would do anything for her in any case.

+ Juvia: a guilty pleasure ship tbh. She deserves someone as generous and open as he is, and he’s a gentleman who will treat her right. I imagine mostly a soft friendship to lovers kinda thing (but obvs with some Drama bc he’s a spirit), he’d just be a very supportive and good friend to her and then the feels creep in? She’s also hella pretty. Also his friendship with Gray could also come into play too, like in a version of Juvia and Gray being close (bc gdi i would support a healthy friendship with those two) which leads to Loke spending more time with Juvia and he would approach her more without Gray too.

+ Yukino: I mean, again there’s some difficulty with the spirit/summoner and spirit/human thing but at least Yuki isnt his summoner (tho hmu for an AU maybe) and like. She just deserves someone nice like him.

+ Levy: she’s pretty and smart and deserves more love. I would love to explore their dynamic in general tbh bc i mean they were guildmates for a few years and i think he would have had some fun flirting/teasing her a bit and she’d maybe blush or roll her eyes or think nothing of it and never guess he actually does like her !

Honorable mentions:

Millianna (cute kitties, ok more of a brotp probably but still adorable), Hisui (the whole noble knight and princess thing gets me every time, plus i’ve seen a couple of cute interactions once upon a time), 

[lilulo-12fanfiction]

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart: Chapter 2 part 1

So I had to split this into 2 chapters because it’s really long. I’m not big on regurgitating content but it was a good way to set the story up further. Going forward there will be more original content with some cannon thrown in. P.S. IDGAF about Cannon if it doesn’t work well for my story.

I’d love it if you reblogged, gave feedback, etc.

Let me know if you want to be tagged

Series Masterlist

Tag List

@shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112

Nora smiled to herself as she approached Bruce Banner, Natasha and Steve. She was ecstatic to meet Bruce Banner. She hadn’t seen Natasha in a while and well Steve was another story altogether.

“Is that the only word on me?” Bruce questioned Steve looking incredibly apprehensive.

“Only word I care about.” Such a Steve Rogers thing to say. She watches as Banner seemed to relax, if only slightly.

“Well he won’t be doing it alone.” Nora beamed at the 3 of them. “Besides myself I’m quite positive that my Uncle will show his face after getting through Coulson’s information bomb he gave us last night. No way is he missing out on this.”

“Nora Stark.” The red headed assassin smiled back at Nora.

“Good to see you Rusty. It’s been too long.”

“Well Tony isn’t my biggest fan. So I’ve steered clear.” Natasha shrugged.

“Well stop it. No one cares what he thinks.” Natasha shook her head at Nora. The attitude was 110% Tony Stark.

“Hello Nora.” Steve finally spoke after observing her.

“Hello Captain. Good to see you again.” She watched as the heat rose to his face and turned to Bruce Banner before she reacted and stuck her hand out.

“Well apparently my friends here forgot their manners. Dr. Banner, I’m Nora Stark. I’m a huge fan of your work. I’m really looking forward to working with you.” Bruce tentatively shook her hand.

“You’re not scared to be around me?” Bruce looked at her small stature and assumed she’d be terrified. She shrugged.

“Why would I be?” She smiled. Her kind eyes put him at ease. She linked her arms through Bruce’s. “C’mon Dr. Banner. Let’s go do what we nerds do so the super heroes can get to work” Nora gave Steve a wink only he could see and led them towards the Helicarrier.

“Okay Bruce, apparently Loki is in Germany. I highly doubt the Tesseract is with him.” Nora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I agree.” Bruce didn’t look up from the computer screen.

“I’m going to head out to Fury. I need to see this. Let me know when you need me.” Bruce nodded again and Nora headed out of the lab and down to the main section of the Helicarrier.

As she made her way out to the main deck, she could hear AC/DC over the comms and then her Uncle’s voice. “Agent Romanoff, you miss me?”

“I see I made it just in time for the show.” She crossed over to where Fury was standing and he Gave her a smirk.

“Make a move Reindeer Games” Nora watched as Natasha landed the Quinjet to capture Loki.

“He doesn’t have the tesseract with him. And we haven’t located it yet. But the staff he carries, the one that turned one of your best parents into a puppet. I’m thinking that might help us.”

“I agree, Nora. Go let Dr. Banner know what’s going on and both of you join us back here once they’re back on this ship.” Nora nodded at the order and headed to retrieve Dr. Banner. She turned her comm on so she could listen in to their ride with Loki and was privy to the fight between the three men.

A little while after Loki was on the ship, Nora made her way back down to the main deck to discuss Loki. Dr. Banner would be joining them shortly. As she approached she heard her Uncle refer to someone as “Point Break”. She rolled her eyes and made herself known.

“Oh good. You’re all done playing swords. Did you find out who’s the biggest or did you just waste our time?”

“See that’s what makes you my favorite Stark. You’re infinitely more funny than Tony.” Natasha and Nora smiled at each other.

“What? No! Absolutely not! You’re not helping on this mission!” Tony wasn’t exactly surprised to see Nora but he wasn’t going to allow her to jump into the line of danger.

“You say that like you still have a say in the choices I make” Nora scoffed at her Uncle. “You need me. If you didn’t Pepper wouldn’t have asked me to come and Fury wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Nora I know you’re brilliant but we can do this without you.” Tony shot back. Steve watched on with interest.

“No you can’t. You need my memory and my professional abilities.” Nora was just as stubborn as her Uncle. This wasn’t going to end quickly.

“Your memory? What does that mean.” Nora looked over to the heavy accented voice that was sitting at the table.

“You must be Thor" He nodded. I have a photographic memory. I remember every detail of everything.”

“That sounds very useful and overwhelming.” His understanding and empathy took Nora by surprise. It was overwhelming and incredibly useful. There were some things she wished she could forget, yet instead they plagued her dreams. “And what are these professional abilities?” Thor was intrigued by this tiny human.

“I have some pretty stellar computer skills.” Before Thor could question Nora further Tony was interrupting.

“Uh hello??? I have some pretty decent computer skills myself.” Nora rolled her eyes at the exact same time Tony did and the resemblance between her and Tony couldn’t be ignored. It made Thor smile.

“Obviously you know your way around a computer. But you know full well that you can’t hack like I can.”

“She’s right Tony.” Fury finally spoke. “She hacked the Pentagon on a dare in High School.”

“You what?!” Steve was shocked and Nora stood there with a proud smile on her face. He wouldn’t have thought she would do something like that.

“Sorry Captain. Sometimes you just have to bend the rules. Especially when your sexist classmate thinks he’s superior because he has a teeny tiny appendage between his legs” Thor audibly laughed.

“Yeah that was pretty impressive. I’m still pretty proud you did that.” Tony finally conceded. “Fine. I’m not going to argue with you anymore but if you’re going to be on this mission you need something a little more protective than whatever this is that you’re wearing.” He pointed up and down her body. She was clad in a leather pencil skirt, a denim button down shirt and sky high leopard print heels. Her normally long curly hair was straightened and in a high ponytail with braids on the top of her head.

“Well I asked you to make me a suit.” Nora shot back. Thor watched on enjoying the verbal ping pong match. He liked the fire in Nora Stark.

“So you can put yourself in more danger? Yeah, not likely.” Nick Fury stood up to put an end to the bickering.

“Nora- I had some special Kevlar made for you. There’s a locker with your name on it. You can change when you're ready.”

“Thanks Uncle Nick.” Nora gave Tony a dirty look and went and sat down next to Thor. She was drawn to him for some reason. She couldn't explain it. "So tell me about Asgard and this brother of yours" Steve watched as Thor and Nora seemed to be in a bubble. He had her undivided attention. She laughed at the things he said that weren’t meant to be funny but were because of Thor’s lack of Earth knowledge. She would place her hand on his arm as they spoke. Neither of them seemed to pay much attention to the people around them. He had to force himself to pay attention to what Fury was saying. He was surprised at how jealous he felt. He barely knew her. And he didn’t ever expect to find anyone that stirred feelings in him. Not the way Peggy did. It wasn’t the same, Peggy was Peggy. But Nora somehow set off a spark inside him. The first real connection he made before coming out of the ice.

Nora sighed and sat down on the bench in the locker room. She wanted her own “Iron Man” suit. Tony refused. Nora had contemplated just hacking into his system for the plans, but she couldn’t break her Uncle’s trust like that. She didn’t want him doing this alone. Maybe now that Steve was out of the ice he wouldn’t have to. She was always afraid that when he left in that Iron Man suit he wouldn’t come back. She knew Pepper had the same fears. Nora and Tony both had lost so much. They had been betrayed by people they had loved too. He wasn’t her father. No one could ever take Grant Starks place in her heart, but the relationship she and Tony had was something beyond parent and child. They were connected by loss and pain. They were connected by their similarities. They had the same snark, the same attitude and the Stark swagger. The swagger that sometimes acted as a protective bubble. Tony was Nora’s protector. Even when he was missing he was still protecting her. He had always had a plan in place with Rhodey and Pepper to keep her safe and loved if something happened and he couldn’t. All Nora wanted to do was protect him as well.

She stood and opened up the locker with her name and smiled at what Nick had left her. It was an all black Kevlar suit that looked like leather. It had straps across her hips and boots that went over her knees. There were a number of holsters to hold weapons or technological items. She wasn’t sure where Nick had found it, but it was perfect. It held her body like a glove. She was curvy but strong. She has never been skinny. Her body wasn’t built to be that small. She had accepted her flaws a long time ago and learned how to use them to her advantage.

She headed out of the locker room with plans to head back to the lab. Her eyes caught the door that she knew Loki was behind and she just couldn’t help herself. Her credentials allowed her to enter the room. There he stood. The God of Mischief in a round glass cage.

“Hello Loki.” He snapped his head up and studied her.

“The Dróttning av Gimsteinn” Loki’s voice was almost breathless. He hadn’t been expecting to see her and the words had poured from his mouth before he could stop them.

“What did you just say?” Nora stopped in her tracks and stared him down. Loki’s eyes bore into Nora’s and he didn’t respond. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out soon enough I suppose” Loki acted as uninterested in her as he possibly could. I’m reality he was buzzing on the inside. He thought it would be more difficult to get eyes on her. Nora narrowed her eyes at him. She took a step towards him and stopped.

“I’m not going to let you goad me into a reaction. When you get bored of this and want to tell me where the tesseract is, let me know. If I find it before you tell me, I can’t help you.” Before Loki could respond, she was gone. Loki smiled to himself. She was feisty. She liked to spar. This was going to be more fun than he originally thought.

Nora was wracking her brain trying to figure out what Loki called her as she was heading back. She didn’t even know what language it was. She was about to pull her phone out and try to search for what she thought he had said when she stumbled upon Steve trying to pry a set of doors open. Captain America breaking and entering? This was surprising. She crossed her arms in front of her body and leaned against the wall.

“Need some help Captain?” She smiled with a suggestive voice as Steve jumped. He turned and faced Nora sheepishly with red cheeks. He had on hand on the back of his neck and looked impossibly adorable.

“I was…I uh…” He was embarrassed for getting caught but what really had him stuttering was Nora. No one should look that good in Kevlar. He silently chastised himself for behaving like a 13 year old. Nora shook her head and without a word pushed herself off of the wall and approached the door Steve was trying to bust open. She pressed her palm to the lock pad. It read her palm print and prompted for the 2nd security key. “Stark, Nora Margaret”. Steve froze. Was Peggy apart of her life? It couldn’t be a coincidence that she was related to Howard Stark and her middle name was Peggy. Howard and Peggy has founded Sheild together. He wondered if Peggy had any sort of relationship with Nora’s father. He wanted to ask her about it, but it wasn’t the right time. Nora motioned him inside.

“After you.” Nora followed him into the room and the door shut behind him. “Mind telling me what we’re doing in here? What are you looking for?”

“I’m honestly not sure. Your Uncle is trying to get all of Sheild’s files as we speak. He seems to think Fury is hiding something.”

“Oh what a jack ass. He’s trying to hack in on his own instead of asking me. He’s trying to prove he doesn’t need me. I could have had those files in 5 minutes, 10 tops. Plus I have access to a lot of shit around here. Sheild is my family birth right. My father would have taken Howard’s place.”

“Wait- so you agree with Tony? You think he’s hiding something?”

“Don’t be so naive Captain. Of course he’s hiding something. He’s a super spy. His secrets have secrets!” Steve laughed. “What’s funny?”

“Your Uncle literally said the same thing. Word for word.” Nora’s eyes shone with pride. “Are you going to help me look?”

She threw her arms up in a shrug. “Kind of hard to help when I have zero clue what to look for. And how do you know I’m not in on it?”

“Call it a gut instinct.” Nora liked to banter and Steve was feeling brave. He was still feeling a little green after seeing her with Thor. Now was his chance to see if she was as just flirty or interested in him. He was a God. A good looking one at that. And while he felt like an idiot worrying about it when they had more important things to focus on, he had to know. “So you’re done flirting with Thor? You two seemed to hit it off right away.” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I wasn’t flirting! Why? Are you jealous?” Nora sauntered over to where Steve was leaning over a crate. She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned over so she could whisper in his ear. “Believe me Captain, if I’m flirting, you’ll know it.”

Nora’s breath was hot on his neck and it sent a chill down his spine. He was about to respond but his attention was pulled to the container in front of him. Steve opened a container. “I think I found what we’re looking for.” Steve watched as Nora pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Dammit.” The disappointment was radiating from her voice. “Sometimes, it’s really hard to separate the spy, the head of Shield, from the man that helped me become who I am today. The person my father revered. I just can’t.”

“I’m sorry Nora.” Steve put his hand on her shoulder.

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do this Steve.”

“No, but I know that feeling. And I’m sorry that you’re feeling it now.” Nora gave Steve a small smile.

“Thank you. God this is all so messed up. Let’s go to the lab. I’d like to talk to Nick and I need to ask Thor some questions about his brother.” Steve picked up the container and the two of them headed back to her Uncle and Dr. Banner.

Nora could heat heated voices as she and Steve approached the lab. So heated that they didn’t even notice the two of them enter in the middle of Bruce’s sentence.

“…When we get a hit, we’ll have the location within half a mile.” Nora could tell he was trying to control his temper. Tony picked up where Bruce left off. The two of them were a team already.

“And you’ll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. What is Phase Two?” Tony wanted answers. Nora knew that look in his eye.

Nora jumped as Steve slammed the case down on the counter. “ Phase Two is SHIELD used the Cube to make weapons.” Steve answered for Fury and then directed himself towards Tony. “Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.”

Nora gave Tony a dirty look. “I literally could have gotten it within 10 minutes tops. Stop trying to prove that you don’t need me.”

“Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we’re-“ Before Fury could finish Tony flipped the screen to reveal a plan for a missile. Nora pit her face in her hands. This was only going to get worse.

“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” Nora clenched her jaw. She didn’t know what to say to calm the waters because she was just as angry as the rest of them. She pulled herself from her thoughts as Natasha and Thor came into the lab.

“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?” Bruce laughed in Natasha’s face.

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.” Nora ignored their verbal ping pong as she went over to the monitor to check on the Tesseract. She paused and eyed Loki’s staff curiously. When she focused back on the group Fury was explaining why Sheild wanted to create these weapons.

“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly- hilariously, out-gunned.” Nora was going to tell Nick he was right but that he should have been upfront but Thor interjected before she had the chance.

“My people want nothing but peace with your planet.”

“But you’re not the only people out there, are you? And, you’re not the only threat. The world’s filling up with people who can’t be matched, they can’t be controlled.” Fury shot back quickly. Nora couldn’t focus on what they were saying anymore. Her attention was drawn back to Loki’s staff like it was pulling her in. Bits and pieces of the argument would break through. She couldn’t focus on who was saying what as her head started to pound and the sceptor started to glow..

“Nuclear deterrent! ’Cause that always calms everything right down.”

“ I’m sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-“

“How is this now about me?”

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?”

“I thought humans were more evolved than this.”

“I swear to God, Stark, one more crack...”

Nora felt more dizzy and tried to focus on Steve’s voice, though she wished she hadn’t. “Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?�� Why was Steve attacking her Uncle? He didn’t know what he was talking about. Nora felt too woozy to feel any anger at that point.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” He was wrong. He didn’t know what Tony Stark was about. He put on a front but he was a hero. He took the world on his shoulders. Nora remembered Tony destroying all of the weapons sold to our enemies. She wanted to scream at Rogers but her head hurt too badly to speak. Tony’s voice cut through the pain.

“A hero, like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

“Put on the suit, let’s go a few rounds.”

“Steve, Tony- Stop” Nora begged. Her voice wasn’t loud enough for them to hear her. She was sure it was Loki’s scepter causing them to act like this. It was what messed with Barton’s head. Loki had wanted it to be here, to cause this dissension. Finally Bruce’s yelling caused everything to stop.

“IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KILL ME. BUT YOU CAN’T, I KNOW, I TRIED!” He stopped and saw that everyone is staring at him and he continued. “I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?”

“Oh Bruce...” Nora could feel his pain and anger, how broken he felt. He was holding the scepter while Fury and Natasha hand their hands on their guns. Nora was white as a sheet.

“Please Bruce. That thing is making you all act like this. Please put it down. No one is going to cage you, I promise..”

“Nora?” Tony’s voice was full of worry. She looked sick. She had barely said a word during the argument. She normally would tell Tony if he was being an ass or defend him if he was right. Steve took a deep breath, sighed and looked at Bruce.

“Doctor Banner, put down the scepter.” Banner looked down, surprised to see the spear in his hand. Suddenly the monitor made a noise, signaling the Tesseract has been located. Bruce put the scepter back on the table and walked over to the screen on the other side of the room. Nora walked over to the table and lightly touched the scepter, knowing it was the source of her pain. She just didn’t know why. She yanked her hand back and turned towards her Uncle.

Suddenly Tony turned to leave but Steve put his arm out to stop him. “You’re not going alone Stark!” Tony smacked Steve’s hand away.

“You gonna stop me?” Nora groaned. Taking steps towards the two men.

“Put on the suit, let’s find out!

“ I’m not afraid to hit an old man.”

“Will the two of you stop acting like children?!” Nora was pleading with them. Then she heard Banner yelling and then an explosion. Nora flew into Steve, he grabbed her by the waist as he and Tony fell near the entry way. Steve turned her so she would fall on him instead of the floor protecting her head and neck. The next thing she knew Steve was pulling her along with Tony.

[baek--honey]

1-50 bitch

well since u asked nicely how could i resist

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? paint/draw or the like, or knit maybe,

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you own/owned? MY HOT MOMS SHIRT THAT I LOST ;n; also the big grey hoodie i have & a pierce the veil shirt i borrowed from my gf that im never giving back :)

4. How often do you play sports? never

5. What fictional place would you most like to go to? The Digital World

6. What job would you be terrible at? probably anything involving extensive memorizing and maintaining information for long periods of time. so basically a lot of things…… or maybe like. working at starbucks cos i cant make coffee OR remember lots of drink recipes omg

7. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning a medal for? playing kingdom hearts 2 on easy mode. i would have a good chance at winning because all the people that are good at playing kingdom hearts are gaming elitists that think playing on easy is for losers and if you dont play on critical mode you arent a real gamer :)

8. What skill would you like to master? making an omelet OR knitting

10. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? some out of town adventure with my girlfriend where money and time dont matter 

11. If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would you change and why? uh i’d like to be less haunted by my traumatic past maybe! or be a few inches taller that would be cool i feel like both of these are pretty self explanatory 

12. What’s your favorite drink? W A T E R or milk tea 

13. What do you consider to be your best find? my girlfriend 

14. Are you usually early or late? way too early. too mcuh time i dont know what to do with it

15. What pets did you have while growing up? hm lets see i had a couple turtles, some fish, i had a gerbil that i got from a friend, an african grey named solomon, boston terrier named Tiny, two white boxers named Floyd & Lloyd, a mix named Macy, 4 chihuhuas named Dude, Pooty, Flout & Chief, and now we have a cat named Schrödinger :~), oh and an amstaff/dalmation mix named EL

16. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? anything and everything but never really asking for advice i guess? its more of them talking about a problem cos im easy to talk to and then me trying to help them come up to a solution if they need it

17. What takes up too much of your time? S L E E P I N G 

18. What do you wish you knew more about? cats!!!! also dogs cos i know a lot but i want to know more

19. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? why am i still alive?

21. Who’s your go-to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to? seventeen or monsta x, exo’s LMR repackaged album

22. What shows are you into? the office, lost, honestly nothing thats still running on tv, i havent watched a show in forever, oh god wait does anime count cos i could write the longest list of anime i love: haikyuu, nge, digimon, noragami ,,,,,,

23. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? Seventeen (Hangul: 세븐틴), also stylized as SEVENTEEN or SVT, is a South Korean boy group formed by Pledis Entertainment in 2015. The group consists of thirteen members divided into three sub-units, 

24. What age do you wish you could permanently be? a dog mom & i hope i can make that wish come true

25. What would be your ideal way to spend the weekend? napping on and off in bed with my girlfriend and then going to town for sushi & milk tea and then uhhhhhhhhhhh coming back home to nap some more and then go out for noodles for another date :} oh and a dog would be involved if possible because cuddling dogs is best

26. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? physically writing and sending cards/letters in the mail i guess? i dont know if that really counts as doing something the old fashioned way but i definitely dont get as many cards or anything in the mail anymore. i also like to keep physical hand written to-do lists & schedules and stuff

27. What have you only recently formed an opinion on? how bad exo are at dancing  turtlenecks and scarves. they are good 

28. What’s the single best day on the calendar? october 10th my dogs birthday and also narutos birthday

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? asmr??? 

30. What is the most annoying question that people ask you? “did u have a little lamb?” OR when my grandpa asks me anything about his iphone 

31. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on without absolutely no preparation? my dogs or seventeen. OR a half ass presentation about kingdom hearts, trying to explain it while getting around all the plot holes and not nailing down my arguments cos i dont really get it either and theres a lot i dont pay attention to but i could come up with 40 mins of info im sure

32. If you were a dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? no waking until 10am. no crime or anything will be allowed ill figure out some way to make everything perfect so women can go out alone at night and not be afraid. no discrimination !! all the poc, lgbt, disabled, any minority  will be welcome and have safe spaces and any hate will be punished by law. also everyones allowed to have pets in their homes and no home goes without food or power. am i doing this right

33. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? travel out of your comfort zone. like physically travel somewhere and make the most of it but do it with someone cos the buddy system is important

34. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? jackets. i will pay up to 100$ for a good jacket and wear it forever cos itll be confirmed long-lasting and also most likely very comfortable!!!

35. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of? i just want to point out that its not that i dont get the point of it because everyone has their likes and i have my own that other people dont i like that people are into whatever they want to be its just that i am Not into it. and that thing is yuri on ice

36. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? being able to wake up every morning next to my girlfriend and out pets :~)

37. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? corning museum of glass was super neat……. , dollywood, gatlinburg, chicago chinatown, idk i havent been to many interesting places 

38. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? i wana get a tattoo !!!!!!!!

39. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? getting a job interview at barnes & noble because now i have a job there!!!

40. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again? diamond edge chicago

41. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? all i really want is that job where im paid to sleep 

42. How different was your life one year ago? tbh not that much different?? other than i was in school and now im not. i didnt have a job and now i do. i was a year further away from moving 

43. What’s the best way to start the day? talking to my girlfriend and also let me just say that first pee in the morning. perfect

44. What quirks do you have? what are quirks exactly i looked up examples to help me think of some but all im thinking of is…i cant have the volume on my tv or radio on an even number it has to be on an odd number??? i have to sleep with a fan on. idk dude

45. What would you rate 10/10? [MV] 몬스타엑스 (MONSTA X) _ 걸어 (ALL IN)

46. What kind of art do you enjoy most? abstract w lots of colors and shapes. geometric stuff 

47. What do you hope never changes? my ability to collect myself (unless it gets better which then i hope it does), my passion for art of any sort

48. What city would you most like to live in? anywhere except charleston and somewhere thats not extremely highly populated

49. What movie title best describes your life? Scooby Doo 2 - Monsters Unleashed

50. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? sleeping or hanging out with their pet

[survivortongatapu]

Episode #2: I Never Learned How To Fuckin’ Read | Carson Chapman

Honestly Ryan. I expected this scavenger hunt to be a bit harder. No self humiliation or stripping? No needing to go to grocery stores to find things that are clearly not there, but you make us look for and ask employees anyways? Or going up to random people asking them to put on nametags that say Ryan or some other bizarre name? Drew would not be proud.

The Conor vote was an easy thing to get done. It is a blessing to have such an easy vote early on. I need to start being more active and social with the members of my tribe, though. Or else I might be the next boot. I've already set a foundation with Tim, Stephen, and Kaci. I just need to further extend my reach without being too suspicious. I might use Jordan as a number since he has come forward with being one to me. Plus a Pines shield is a nice one to have since he never dies. Everyone always wants him out, so he would be something to hide behind.

"I once shunned Samuel L Jackson." CHARLOTTE HOW ARE WE SUPPOSE TO PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED IF WE KEEP TELLING PEOPLE. AND to be fair, it was for a good cause, Alan Rickman was close by. Rickman > Jackson. (watch me have the sign backwards or some shit)

hi my name is charlotte and my entire tribe never learned how to fucking read

YOU'VE ALL BEEN IN THE COMMUNITY FOREVER HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?? NOT TO CALL ANYONE OUT BUT CMON Y'ALL KNOW BETTER.

Anyway, now that I've yelled, I guess it's time to do a review of everyone on my tribe. Chrissa - Honestly we haven't talked much before this game or in this game. I think we actually got into a fight in the VL once. I used to think Chrissa was just the shipname for Chris and his wife and didn't realize that Chrissa was a real person. Fun fact! Adrian - We were in a BB game together but that's about it. It wasn't very memorable so I doubt they remember me. I should probably talk more to people on this tribe I don't know but we're so early in, it just doesn't seem worth it. Carson - I've played with him before so we have a pretty good relationship even if he spent half of CB calling me weird lmao. I think he would be a good person to ally with but I can never fully trust him because when I did that last time? He had a secret #1 ally the whole time. Lesson learned! Jay - I've known Jay for awhile but we've never really played together so I'm hoping we can in this game. I think it'll be interesting to see if we mesh in a game scenario so - I'm excited. Owen - I'm glad Owen is on my tribe because he seems good at challenges?? Or at least historically he has been. Whew! Antoine - THEY ARE CANADIAN!! honestly I always want to work with the canadians thats my kink. Pocket - I've talked to them a bit and they seem cool?? They at least know how to read a damn post so that puts the +1 above some of the others. Bryan - We've played games together before so they seem like a good bean but again, I don't really know them that well. I NEED to start talking to people more god this is ugly. We love a flop. Andrew - I don't know him but LA says that he's a good bean, he hosted her in Solomon Islands and again in whatever game she just died in. I need to talk to him more. Willow - I love Willow!! She's so sweet and it's kind of hard to talk strategy with her sometimes but ima try anyway!! 

Purposely sabotaging my social game to be more UTR and pretend I'm not around much anymore? Perfectly working in my new Tumblr Survivor strategy wooooooo

Honestly, I just get bored and don't entirely want to talk to some of these people that much, so I just sit here and cry when I have to talk to the likes of Tim and Stephen. I know they're really really cool people, and I like them a lot, but by having never heard of them before, it means that there's this preconceived notion, in my head, that I have to talk to them more, so instead I just dismiss them so they don't see me as a threat, and they can just have the impression that they've 99% got my vote. I'm fine being people's number. Someone just tell me how to vote and I'm more than likely to do it for the first 75% of this game, if I make it to that point. My new strategy is the best of all time. You can't beat it.... Except going off in the main chat about the challenge may not have been my SMARTEST idea, but that's because the challenge was stupid, the new scavenger hunt rules were dumb, and next time I invest four hours into something, and you tell me it doesn't count, don't expect that same motivation level to come out of my body for at least another 3-4 rounds out of shear stubbornness.

Everybody is doing their best to win the challenge and I feel a little bit bad that I'm doing something cause I'm sitting out. Hopefully, it doesn't put a target on my back if we do lose. Right now, I trying to get to know these people more and figure who I want to work with.

I guess I should make a real confessional now. I mean.... We all voted out Conor last round, which was cool. I feel I should initiate a tribe call tonight, with hopefully a win. I don't want to initiate it if we lose tonight's challenge, because then that'd be bad. I'm trying to really think of ways to keep my social game stepped up, and the fact of the matter is that I don't really think I need to do much more, it's such an overthink at this point. I know if my name comes out, I'm going to be able to outtalk a lot of people, and on top of that, I know that LA, Tim, Kaci, Jordan and Carson feel a pretty good relationship with me, and i'd kinda like to think that Stephen does too because I've just been overall active in the main chat, and talking to him a bit on the side. I'm struggling with how to connect to Raffy and JD, and kinda Rob, but not really because Rob seems to be very talkative on my end. I am going back to the thought of Jordan mentioning wanting the strong players to work together, and from the group he listed, that leaves out Kaci, Tim and Stephen, which is interesting because I like them, but they'll also have to go. I'm hoping that Jordan Pines can be the real kicker of strategic talk on this tribe, and we can see what happens. I know whenever I pinpoint targets, I make it my mission to send them out the door, and I know it's dumb to do because some people don't want it to happen, but in a tribe this big, if I talk about it with enough people, then it just happens.... Same thing kinda happened with Ruthie in Japan, where I just saw her as a long term threat, and wanted her gone............................ I'm feeling this way with Raffy. I know it's early, and I know going after him probably isn't the smartest move, but I thought he was just a nutjob from seeing him a little bit of me hosting him in Kuang Si and watching his antics in JP, and all his VL Confessionals of REALLY hustling, it's hard to want to work with him if he's actually that smart, but at the same time, reminds me of a player that is going to do himself in at some point so hmph. We'll see. I still intend on sitting back for now and playing nice, even though I want to give all these people a slow and painful death We'll see what happens after the challenge. If I were to bet, i'd bet that Kaci is going to be in trouble, but I don't wnat her to go, but also.... effort ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

The sacrifice was successful. Conor may be gone but we won the next round so yay. But still Kaci didn’t contribute so next tribal she might be in trouble. While we don’t go to tribal I’ll still maintain some social play, but will back off a tad to not seem too eager.

we lost. thanks adrian for telling Ryan you could be excused but not saying a word to our tribe! it takes 10 seconds to take apicture and i dont believe he doesnt own at least a towel. so now im stuck going to tribal and having to strategize. which.. is nice. i get to see how people play/strategize/all that and it thrusts us into strategy mode where we can FINALLY really talk game. i want adrian because its easy tbh! ------------------------------------------- [6:53:09 PM] jay: Yeah same [6:53:14 PM] jay: big andrew fan [6:53:27 PM] carson: and I trust everyone else vaguely bc like.. I haven't gotten into [6:53:33 PM] carson: deep strategy talk yet with anyone bc we haven't had tribal [6:53:44 PM] jay: we can trust chrissa tbh [6:53:59 PM] jay: and probably charlotte right? [6:54:24 PM] carson: I agree with that for sure [6:54:30 PM] carson: theyre trustable ppl just in general sdjsd [6:54:33 PM] carson: like loyal [6:54:45 PM] jay: whomst the fuck is antoine [6:56:28 PM] carson: wait no [6:56:30 PM] carson: Quebecois [6:56:45 PM] jay: pocket is hard to talk to idk i dont GET THIS who literally plays based on people they know god. LIKE ANTOINE HAS GIVEN SO MUCH MORE TO ME THAN JAY and put in way more effort? like Antoine's such a nice guy and just because he doesnt know him.. SAME WITH POCKET. POCKET IS THE EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO ON THIS WHOLE TRIBE AND SO TALKATIVE??? LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. pocket is so fun and..  idk. jay when you read this i still love you but bitchwhat the fuck not sure whats gonna happen. gonna probably push for Adrian to go and get that easy vote out of the way. Pocket + Andrew offerened an alliance to me but havent said anything about it since soo.... also bryan told me to "remember to stay low" and im like ????? thats not good for my paranoia at all.like at ALl at all so now im kinda freaking out. hopefully we can make this tribal easy.. but if not theres outcast island but im not taking my chances with that.

So in typical Johnny fashion, I can't just let us win immunity and not do anything with the time we have that we can utilize to make more connections, do things to advance my game, so I go to Stephen, and pull my typical Johnny move: [1/12/18, 11:03:22 PM] ~~Johnny~~: And I know we haven’t spoken much, and you may have spoken to people a lot more than me, but I get a really good vibe from you, and in each game I play, I just pick one person that I’m like “this is my dude, and regardless, I’m going to make it happen with THIS GUY, and if they turn on me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ” and I’ve kinda wanted to ask you if you… gets down on one knee Stephen, will you be my ride or die? ;) [1/12/18, 11:03:54 PM] ~~Johnny~~: like tbh, I think you’re smart af, I can tell that you’re here to play, and I think I’m here to play too, and you always gotta survey the field before you make a leap like that, but I feel confident that you and I can really do some damage here [1/12/18, 11:04:41 PM] Stephen: haha, id be honoured [1/12/18, 11:04:47 PM] ~~Johnny~~: (party) [1/12/18, 11:04:49 PM] ~~Johnny~~: Honestly [1/12/18, 11:05:02 PM] Stephen: I do feel like you are smart too, and sane enough not to wig out early on [1/12/18, 11:05:17 PM] ~~Johnny~~: Having one connection with someone, where you know they won’t spill what you’re thinking, and you can tell an actual person who RESPONDS (fuck you RTP), is great So now I've got this relationship with Stephen, that I think is really going to blossom my game and make it grow. I am continuing to lay low, and I am going to continue to just build social bonds and not even talk game with anyone that isn't Stephen. I know he MIGHT be moderately sketched out by what I just proposed, simply because we haven't spoken nearly as much as I'm sure he's spoken to other people, but I've got faith that my relationship with Stephen is going to carry me a long way in this game, and jesus take the wheel if I can make this go well, I think I'm in a great spot. I've gotta just keep up tabs again during this 24 hour period. I didn't find anything during the idol search, which sucks. I really really really REALLY want SOMETHING, even if it's a disadvantage in the game, I'm willing to take the risk to continue on with an idol search every time because I know people are finding things and I'm not. That's my biggest motherfucking motivation to win a damn immunity challenge, but we'll see. Praying someone I don't know on that other tribe ends up going home because I need my friends to stick around. Chrissa going home before I get to her, or maybe even Owen or or Charlotte, just since they're strong players who I've either been hosted by, or hosted, and I'm just not sure about the reactions once I make my way to a tribe with either of them. Yea... Sorry for my long confessionals, but that's me, and also all you'll get for right now, but I'm sure something very minor will happen later tonight and I'll write another 8 page long confessional LMAO

So Ryan reminded everyone about alliance chats and I am *shook*. I’ve been trying to play slow but how slow is too slow? I need to calm down and remind myself that suddenly making alliances is no way to reacting to being excluded for alliances. In this scenario social game trumps strategic game. And so far its working, maybe, Johnny came to me and proposed a f2-but-not-f2 alliance and i was like sure. But he might be lying, I do doubt it though considering we won immunity. Now I just have to decide if I’m going to tell Tim. He’s my mate and I love the guy but I have to decide if I really want to tie my game 100% with his, or keep options he doesn’t know about. Then again talking to him could expose if this is a lie. hmm

So Ryans brief comment about alliance chats has sparked a ton of debate. Ive been approached by Johnny, as I said before. But we have talked about literally everyone else on the tribe, and Ive talked about a few people have JD. Johnny has a lot of knowledge and experience which scares me. But if I can use him to bring myself further then thats good, I can easily paint a target on him when i need to. Still solid with Tim, but Ive decided if people get concerned about our history Im not above voting him out.

AND I THOUGHT TONIGHT WOULD BE QUIET. Honestly, I normally write what happened, and then my thoughts about it, but I'm going to summarize because I just don't have it in me to write 85 million words for you tonight RTP - LA and JD want a four person alliance with Stephen and I, which I find funny because LA wanted this to happen right as I made my ride or die deal with him - Tim told me he thought I was cool, and tried to develop more of a relationship with me - Stephen and I went in depth with the people on our tribe, and we haven't really picked out who we do/don't want to work with, but we're laying as low as we can for as long as we can, and no one is going to know it Yea. that's cool. not as intense as I thought, but making a f2 and being in my first alliance of the season is kind of a big deal I suppose. I gotta REALLY work on my functioning relationship with Carson, because I really really really need Andrew to trust me this game, and I'm not super sure if he will. He knows how I play better than anyone in this cast (besides maybe Willow and Pocket), so I've gotta really maneuver myself carefully there.

.i feel bad now because Adrian's having an emergency ofsome kind and I'm pushing his fucking name. I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow and see his thoughts. Hope he's ok. but other than that... im playing so aggressive what the fuck. i NEVERRR play like this and i literally said I wanted to play UTR because this is Ausvivor and the merge is in like... 8 years, but I'm playing hard! Literally had basically my first REAL conversation with Owen today and it was pretty much ALL Strategy. Antoine wants out Jay. Jay wants out Pocket/Antoine probably because he said no to Adrian. Ideally, Charlotte or Adrian would go, but the push of "newbies" vs Jay is bad because it's people I could potentially trust. Also because im actually saying names is like... im super paranoid that people will be like "oh he's overplaying let's get him out." and just vote me out ughhh. Outcast Island is there though and if I did get voted out, Katie is there and I trust Katie to work with me so IDK, but I don't want to be out. Hopefully strategy will pick up steam tomorrow, and alliances etc will be formed and I can get in a good, longlasting position.

So we won the immunity challenge and I am ecstatic! We don't have to go to tribal and that's amazing. But that doesn't mean that the game stops. We got to go to reward where I and Stephen found absolutely nothing! I started bonding more with Johnny who is a very intimidating player. I'd love to work with him but I'm hesitant that If I do I'll get played. Apparently he has done his research on our tribe members and has his own assessments of each of us. To him I'm naive and doesn't know much but boy is he wrong! I may be new but I've got plenty of game to play, votes to survive, challenges to win, and strategy to form. /// Also JD thinks I'm "social". I dont know what that means but it frightens me! Does that make me a threat? does that make me an ally? Am I gonna go home for being "social"? Who knows? But at this point I'm gonna try and lay low. Until next round? (PS: I have yet to be put in an alliance chat >.>)

JD and I set up and alliance with Jordan. And we're planning to do something with Johnny and Stephen, maybe Tim as well so we'll have majority. But we'll see how this all works out. Thankfully, we won though so we don't have to worry about a vote. 

i went to outcast island for fun but these two really suck

fun suck

What up nerds. This game is lit, im a cute alliance, im putting in minimum effort getting maximum reward right now. I will start doing things later but for now.... nah

I lowkey feel that I don't connect with anyone. There's no like Eddie or something. It's just talking because we have to. We won and that's good because we took all of those advantages and such in the previous challenge. I feel that Kaci might have gone but I like her way more than LA and JD right now. However, they stepped up and I don't think they would leave tbh. Whatever

Listen! If you want confessionals you should never have casted JP and you should have cases Emily... Just saying O.O

So right now, it seems like it could be an unanimous vote for Adrian since he didn't really participate in the immunity challenge. And i'm like, really? It wouldn't have change anything. I don't think an unanimous vote is the best thing for my game right now. It would just narrow down the number without me really knowing where people's head at. I'm gonna try to make this a little more complicated for people. I'm taking risks but i'm not here to be a sheep following orders.

Hey everyone! It’s me again. Here with another confessional. Ok so like. There’s too many people on this tribe tbh. I would give my opinion on all of them but I wouldn’t be able to remember all of their names. But anyways. We lost the challenge because the other tribe took more advantages than us in the last challenge so that sucks. But it seems to look like Adrian is going. It’s too bad that he had personal stuff, but he still hasn’t really talked to anyone. There would’ve been a chance of someone else going if there wasn’t the outcast island. No one wants to cut throats cuz it could come back to bite them in the ass. I just. Gotta lay low and stay there for awhile. I’ve got some good connections on this tribe and that’s enough. I’m chill with willow, Antoine, Charlotte, Carson. Probably more. But I can’t remember them. O wait pocket too. Anyways. Until next time fellow followers!! 

So apparently I'm the name on the chopping block for tonight's Nukuleka tribe. Which is fine, but like half of these people have not interacted with me at all and they want to say that I'm a weak link? Hello, we have fucking Chrissa who really can't do shit other than apply for games and be super shady... like look down the road. We lost because I couldn't take pictures, and that most of them kept a medium-sized advantage for them and gave us large disadvantages. Pathetic really. 

We lost the challenge bc of the advantages lmao but!!! I made an alliance with andrew jay Chrissa Carson and pocket oop jdjdjd and since Adrian abstained I think he’s gonna be the vote. If it’s me then oh well grrrr. I didn’t want to work with pocket bc his hair and beard scare me but both andrew and Carson mentioned him ugh. I also like bryan and Charlotte a lot and willow tbh so like.....yeah. There’s one person I’m missing? Oh the guy that sat out he can go. JD It I guess on a more game related post. I'm excited about the group that I wanna work with. I've touched based and talked with most of them... Or LA has.. we've talked to the people anyway. We only have a chat with JP because... Well it should have happened before anyway. But we'll see how she goes! I think that our group is going to end up having me, LA, JP, Stephen, Johnny, and Tim

Made an alliance with Owen, Jay, Carson, Chrissa, and Pocket. Tryna kill Adrian. That's the tea with Andrew G! Also I'm tryna lay low on this tribe while keeping up connections with everyone. Social queen uwu

I’m glad we won immunity. I don’t think I have the social standing to avoid the target. However, the reward was interesting. I hope no one found anything immediately. That would suck immensely. 

adrian's the vote and THANJK GOD. i like adrian, he's okay, but this is SUCH a much better move for me than Jay or Antoine going. adrian isnt reall with anyone, but Jay is with all his friends from pregame, and Antoine is with Pocket/Bryan/Andrew. so this means, i cut out someone who leaves me with 2 people who still trust me.

Also, Owen added me/Pocket/Andrew/Chrissa/Jay/him to an alliance and i'm so happy? my goal for this round was to get in an alliance, and I have close alliances with Pocket and Andrew, mini-duos with pretty much everyone minus Adrian, and now a bigger alliance to help me get through. Willow not being in the alliance is gross though! Hopefully this vote goes well even though I'm stressin a bit.

It should be Adrian going tonight rip 

So i heard today that Adrian was trying to target me. We had a talk the other day and i said i wouldnt vote him. But he shouldn't take me for a fool. Im voting him and so is my new alliance of Owen, Andrew, Chrissa, Carson, and Pocket. As well as Charlotte anf Bryan. Don't try me (:

Our tribe was SUCH A MESS during this challenge JDKDKD We pulled through tho and that’s what matters. Now it’s time to begin my witch hunt for who the fuck too the tickets

I thought I did this earlier but I guess not!! Maybe I forgot to submit but anyways this round is easy we have no tribal