#i havent even started i have a graphic thats it

[belovedism]

*looks forlornly over to my forever-wip vessels list*

[gladiatorcunt]

han solo wants what atton rand has

[xuyaak]

just came back from watching transformers one

OH MY FUCKINGHSHDISWJKSKWMSLW THAT WAS OHHH THAT WAS SOMETHING

(SPOILERS AHEAD LIKE I KNOW THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY WATCHED IT AND ONLY SLOWPOKES LIKE ME HAVENT BUT JUST IN CASE)

PaaleOEKSKWOWKAOWOWORIEEB I CANT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT. IT WAS BETTER MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO BE.

ohh i dont even know where to start… well i guess i should state the obvious: GRAPHICS ARE ABSOLUTELY GOAT. its not just about textures, colors and lighting (which are peak honestly i wanted to eat every single frame), but about… how do i say… the feeling of size, volume, construction. its hard to explain, but i think you’ll get what i mean - the way characters feel, the way environment feels, the way interactions between characters and between characters and environment feel. things feel REAL and this is. just fucking AWESOME.

but ofc good graphics can’t save the movie from being garbage. BUT THE PLOT CAN.

honestly, i did not expect the plot to be SO GOOD (especially considering that for the last decade the only transformers we’ve seen on big screens was bayverse… that isnt famous for deep story)

At first, this whole new vision of the great war’s origin is a HUGE breeze of fresh air (so huge its not just a breeze anymore ig). the whole story with war with quintessons, sentinel’s betrayal (ASSHOLE), and miners basically being cogless slaves… damn thats something. (also i especially liked the idea of starscream being a leader before megatron and talking to him as to somebody of lower position. and then fleeing. this mf just cant be the leader. anyway the whole higher guard thing is the topic for another talk)

but wait wait there is orion and d-16’ relationship. probably THE BEST thing in this movie. its oh its just… well, at first, these are probably versions of optimus and megatron that have the closest relationship in the whole franchise. and thats just simply because they start as equals: just two miners who are working together in the dangerous environment almost like slaves, and take care of each other. but their relationships are so tender, so caring… because they don’t really have anything besides their friendship ig? well ofc there are dreams of finding the matrix and taking iacon out of crisis so they don’t really have to work in the mines…. but, its all just dreams, the only real thing that they have right here and right now is each other.

but then came the power. oh yes it did. and you know what happened next. megatron chose revenge because HE was deceived. HIS whole life was a lie. bro doesn’t really think about other cybertronians as much as he cares about himself and oh god it shows. while optimus thought about the people and only then about himself. and thats the true reason behind their conflict, its not the question of violent/pacifistic way to achieve the goal, its about what matters to them.

and we could actually see that even before the team gets their cogs:

“did you do it for me?”

“no, i did it for us”

this “us” is not just they two, this “us” is the whole cast of miners. i mean considering just WHAT participation in this race meant for miners. they arent worthless slaves, they are capable of doing better than this! this is what orion wanted to show. both to his fellow miners and to regular cybertronians.

well im out of words for now. its clear as day that ill come back to tf one more than one more time. ive got really inspired and yes its going to last.

thank you if you actually read all of this. im so glad that somebody listened :3333

[just-antithings]

proshippers r funny to me because of the degree to which yall just lie. "we always tag our content correctly" no the fuck you dont ive been in the world you cannot trick me, trying to filter out all the ""shotacon"" when i still used ao3 was a nightmare because even when it wasnt split between 2293809 different euphemisms which changed frequently as everyone else started realizing "old man/younger man" was being used for like a 6 year old kid instead of age gaps between adults which outside of your roleplay most people do have a different stance on than pedophilia, and people constantly just posting 5 yr old/20 yr old porn ageddown porn of canon adults with zero relevant tags. this has been my experience in all of fandom, telling a proshipper that they need to avoid posting untagged graphic rape porn in tags for shounen is apparently as painful as having your leg sawed off from how people react to it. you have posts insisting that it is at all reasonable for an ao3 user who doesnt want to see pedophilia should simply filter out every possible shotacon ship which is what i did so i can tell you thats incredibly unreasonable because that number is generally in the thousands, doesn't count as "tagging correctly", and also DOESN'T WORK because again people will just not tag shit or do agedown porn without tagging it so you can be in the tag of a ship for characters who are 50 and 60 in canon when lo and behold AU porn where the older one is babysitting the younger one and theyre 20 and 10, no tags except "Au - babysitter". like tbc i do think that even if you have the minimum balls to tag your adult raping a kid porn "pedophilia" you should still be criticized for that which i know the main conceit of the anti anti movement is pretending is worse than murder, but its wild how often people let yall just lie that tagging correctly is the universal or even a common standard. thats not even getting into the fact that ao3 doesn't let you select tags to automatically filter so you have to type in every individual tag you want out every single time you do a search. but no everyone should have to spend 4 hours theorizing every possible way you could weasel words your way around describing an adult having sexual intercourse with a child and then individually type em all in just so they can see read old men fucking without one of them being turned into a middle schooler. like with every other anit anti talking point it runs into the ultimate problem that yall are lazy assholes who are in this community in the first place because youre so allergic to compassion you can only tolerate people esp children if youre jacking off to them and so any measure yall claim you take for the good of others is ultimately a lie. also i still havent forgotten all those times you defended irl pedophilia or that one time you said you had a kneejerk reaction to discredit someone talking about a case study of irl csa by defending the pedophile and blamed "antis" instead of the fact that you spend all day every day defending being attracting to children. which is much worse, obviously

[t4transsexual]

have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022

[sigmabateman]

thank you so much @velvetcrowbar444 for tagging me to talk about 5 things im obsessed with at the moment!!

this got longer than i anticipated so im putting it under the cut, but for simplicity's sake i'll tag people up here: @nights-decay, @boycentriccplot, @flaming-tsunami, @sourgelatin no pressure though of course!

persona 5... ok i have to be honest ive been really reluctant to talk about this on here and its why ive been quiet the past at least week or so. no idea why. i guess cause its so different from the stuff i usually post about that i feel like, embarrassed? but i started playing persona 5 royal around may and really liked it but i didnt have the time to properly get into it until now and it has completely taken over my life entirely without me even realising. to be honest i could obsess over like a rock on the ground if i saw it at the right time in my life but hands down persona 5 is one the best if not the best game ive ever played in my life. the story is engaging, the characters are distinctive and realistic and i really really care about all of them, the gameplay is so much fun and combat is buttery fucking smooth like nothing ive ever played before, the music is top tier and what got me interested in the game in the first place, and the ART DIRECTION. it speaks for itself to be honest ESPECIALLY compared to the older games. i was shocked starting persona 4 because of how different it is to persona 5 like, persona 5 has SUCH a distinct visual identity as well as tone, themes, imagery etc it is all just so stunning and perfect and i want to live in it. but i think about it so often like literally 24/7 that i may as well be. i <3 persona 5 and i <3 YUSUKE KITAGAWA. he's definitely my favourite character and he came out of NOWHERE but hes actually everything in the world to me. one of the characters ever.

persona 4 is it a copout to say that? i did try and condense both games into one bullet point but 1. they're such a mainstay in my life right now i was struggling to think of more points and 2. it kind of lost its precision and didn't effectively convey just how personapilled i am right now. i originally wasn't gonna play 4, all i knew is that it was more difficult and less good so i thought i should stay away. but if you go anywhere persona-related on the internet (which i would warn against, the fandom is a fucking cesspit the likes of which i havent seen in a long time as an obscure-shit-enjoyer) you'll quickly run into adachi. and as a lover of men with high-pitched voices and sexypedia entries... i couldn't stay away. before even starting the game i had made a d6 and d20 with different adachis on each face so really it was just a matter of time. and you know what... it's not that bad. the graphics were a SHOCKING step down but i find the low(er) poly style really charming. the adachi model is too cute T_T whenever i see it in the game world i just wanna sit with it for ages. i wonder if i could get it like 3d printed so i could keep him on my desk with me at all times... its bad for me ! the combat is fucking clunky espeically compared to 5 and i kind of hate it but that just makes it more rewarding when i can finally stop LOL. some of the characters (especially the main few (yosuke, chie, yukiko)) took a bit to grow on me but its kind of sweet.. its like authentic.. our relationship is growing as i get to know them better... but dojima and nanako ive loved since i first set eyes on them. too cute. it makes me feel so fatherless. its like.. a lot more magnetic than i expected it to be. i love it even with all its flaws. i saw a meme about it being like twin peaks and thats kind of so real. and you know i love a murder mystery... so yeah tldr i like persona now. but its hard to talk about it on here because it is such a big fandom but not like an active one like spiderman or like good omens or whatever slightly more normal people are watching so its kind of intimidating. maybe ill get over myself, maybe ill go silent for 3 months until i get into something new. we'll see i guess LOL

my gender identity TUMBLR MOMENT I KNOW but i dont know.. ive had a lot of time to myself recently and its kind of brought things to the surface that i just didnt have time or space to think about before. turns out there was a LOT OF STUFF i was repressing without even knowing. like that tweet 'im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn'. i posted on instagram "gender around cis people: boy, gender around trans people: girlboy, gender by myself: computer program" and that kind of sums it up i think. can i coin like.. complicatedgender. where your answer to the question "whats your gender?" is "it's complicated..." cause thats me. its just COMPLICATED okay!!!! but my pronouns havent changed or anything so its chilllllll

going to bed at a reasonable time. i phrased that like a joke answer but its true. i downloaded pokemon sleep and now i go to bed at 11:30pm cause at 11 i get a notification saying my pokemon are sleepy and shit i gotta take care of my pokemon!! i dont even know if its doing me any good to be honest like i dont feel much better when i wake up but making myself get into bed and shut my eyes means more thinking time and to be honest my favourite activity is thinking. even if as silly as it sounds i never give myself time to do it. its playing a weirdly big role in my life rn so yeah id say im obsessed with it!!!

this asmr video. im secretly always posting about asmr so really i could just say that, but like, ASMR | The Mortician (No Talking – You're Dead) specifically is such a mainstay i can feel its influence seeping into my life like an infection. this video would actually show up in my recommended for YEARS but i never watched it. gave me a major ick for some reason. but then i got into this guys stuff and saw it again and thought id give it a go and now its like an extra limb. fuck my 3rd bullet point, this is my gender identity. i could not articulate in words what it is about the mortician that i love so much, but i really really do. i am certifiably obsessed. cant believe i made it through this whole thing without mentioning alex. but there you are. yay this was fun :D

[gealachros]

Thoughts while reading Trimax Vol 13!

Wow we're reaching the end, its kinda crazy but its been a wonderful time. Thank you to Revenant Ghost for organizing this book club!! This was such a fun way to read Trimax for the first time and to see others thoughts on it as well

Now onto the reading

I love the alt covers, always full of funny details. Also a pirate AU for Trigun would be kinda cool

Wow holy shit... Already off to a strong start

Of course Legato is that kinda villain lol, gives himself a handicap to make it more fun. Hes such an edgelord and its great

Did he just catch the nail with his chin?? Livio is awesome man. Also, these fights are really cool. Very interesting dynamic between each fight

Ewww Legato licking Vashs blood is pretty disturbing. Such a maniacal character. (Not showing the panel here because I dont want to force anyone to see it again lol)

Lol Livio just wanted to get his clothes back. This man is such an amazing character

Oh wow... Shes got a sick as hell design even under the coat lol

I wonder if its supposed to be some sort of armor?

What is happening??? Seems like all the straps came off and that causes something to happen? I'm guessing it makes her more powerful but I'm not sure why

Lol even the people from space know about Vash. I wonder how they heard about him though

Wow this panel is amazing but also, hes fully colored black which is a little scary... Apparently hes used all his power which I dont like what that could entail...

Restraints??? Man she is badass as hell lol, I like her very much

Razlo is back??

LOL this fucking panel, I think Razlo is a little excited

WTF Elendira has a physic attack??? Also wow that was a graphic panel which I am not gonna show lol

Aww the flashback to Wolfwood

Oh cool, Razlo and Livio are working together now. I think they will work very good together since it seems like Livio is pretty good at tatics where Razlo is all about strength

I love this dynamic of them working together really well while still keeping their own personalities. Its really interesting character design for Livio/Razlo and its a great part of their character arc

Wow that design is sick, I love the attention to detail in Trimax

Aw this is really sweet, also holy hell what an awesome fight between Elendria and Livio/Razlo

Oh thats interestin, after what happened at July. Legato and that doctor are the ones who found Knives. It makes sense but thats something I havent seen before so its cool to know more about what exactly happened at July

Man the callbacks to Wolfwood break my heart every time

Ah thats how the space people learned of Vash, thats such a cool detail. Because of how hes been helping everyone all these years, the plants have remembered him

Indeed they do!

Aw its really cute seeing their thoughts on Vash

Some panels just absolutly send chills down my spine and this is no exception

Wow what an insane ending to volume 13, this one was super intense. Next it the last volume which Im interested to see the ending but also that means the story will be over so its bittersweet.

I actually do have the physical copy of volume 14 so Ill probably read that and maybe make a post with screen shots afterwards. I am excited though to read the physical edition since its the only one I have

Anyways, as always what an amazing volume and what an amazing story. Trimax is so well written its crazy

[spamtonromantic]

FNAF fan game recommendation post

alllright, im a big fan of scrolling the fnaf tag on gamejolt, so i thought, hey! why not recommend some of the games ive played from there? maybe someone else will enjoy them!

before i start, i will preface with i have no idea if any of these are popular or well known, im simply sharing them because i enjoyed them

Entry 1 : Tealerland

Tealerland is, by far, one of my favorite FNAF fan games. while it isnt close to typical fnaf fan games at all - i enjoy that fact about it a lot. this was my first FNAF fan game, and it was definitely refreshing. the game itself takes place in a run down carnival, which was the first thing to catch my eye. it doesnt take place in any sort of diner at all! its characters are all appropriately carnival themed as well, along with an exclusion of any "too humanoid" animatronics (ie blank (fnac), something i dislike in fnaf fan games.) the gameplay is as well both new at still familiar. while you do use a computer and sit in an office, you have two other areas you can roam to-but only two, retaining that classic FNAF feel of being a sitting duck.

the mechanics are also quite easy to understand and digest, alongside a very handy guidebook detailing the animatronics mechanics being something you can read when you arent in game. this guidebook, as well as the bonus content (models, and old versions of the game) was what really made me love this game. it showed that the creator cared about it a lot, and its super well polished. not to mention -- if you find the game too easy, theres optional hard versions of every hour (or night). this gives the game quite a bit of replayability in my eyes! id say out of everything here, if youre new to FNAF fan games, this one is a great pick. not too hard, not too easy (if you choose so), and a fresh experience.

Entry 2 : The Return To Bloody Nights

The Return To Bloody Nights is a very faithful-to-the-older-games FNAF (prequel) fangame. It all takes place in an office in Fredbears Diner, but has plentiful quality of life and animations to breath some life into the game. If I had to praise only one thing about this game? Id say its the animations. Animatronics are animated while in the camera, they jump onto the screen if you flash them in the doorway, and so many more tiny details that i adore. The audio is also immaculate -- Red herrings left and right just like FNAF 1 and 2, unsettling stings when an animatronic appears, and even voicelines from one of the animatronics to make you nervous. It definitely isn't as easy as Tealerland, but, thats its charm. Its like FNAF proper! I cant even get past the fourth night in FNAF 1, its only fitting im stuck on the same level with TRTBN. But even though Im stuck, I adore this game to bits.

Entry 3 : Chica's Party World : REBAKED

The style of Chicas Party World is what caught my attention fast. Low poly PS1-esque graphics? Sign me the fuck up. And then, upon downloading, realizing it has amazing voice acting and a great environment? Hell yes. You dont even play as a security guard, youre a security droid! I havent gotten too far in this game yet, but it has captivated me. I also enjoy that the animatronics arent just "(x) freddy" or "(y) bonnie", they have actual names that really help separate them from just "freddy to the left".

Honorary mention! A Bite At Freddys - I havent played this one personally, only seen playthroughs, but I enjoy ABAF a lot. Its challenge oriented, which is why I havent played it yet, but hey, if you like challenges, itd be right up your alley!

[oliveoilsoda]

Today I Beat: Moon Remix RPG Adventure

Moon is a hard game for me to talk about. Not for the lack of anything, far from it, this game is filled to the brim with charm and strangeness but merely for the fact that I dont quite know where to begin. Ill start with the aspect of the game that I can speak the least about which is the gameplay. The game is best known as an "anti-rpg" and the gameplay reflects this by kinda not being an rpg. It plays a lot more like a point and click game but without the pointing and clicking. Most of the time your walking around and showing things to characters in hopes that they have something more useful to say then "huh?" and when your not doing that, your walking around aimlessly. A good chunk of the puzzles in this game can be pretty obtuse and any consistent flow of progress can be halted simply due to schedule conflicts. And while a part of me often felt frustrated that I had no clue what to do, the other part understood that it just came with the territory of being an "anti-rpg"; a rpg where you dont fight.

The term of "RPG" is used pretty loosely when used to describe games. Despite standing for "Role Playing Game", rpgs are known more commonly for how you play them. Killing enemies to gain XP so you can level up to kill more enemies and so on until you can kill the big bad. This is where the story of moon comes in, by putting you at the other end of the sword. While I wont be spending much time going over the story as I think its best experienced by playing the game and not listening to some autistic girl blabble on, I will relay the general gist of the game. The game starts as a fairly generic rpg, shining armor and all, but just as you reach the end, the perspective changes. You are no longer a knight on a mission to slay a dragon but a child controlling said knight but just as he is ready to walk away for the night, he gets sucked into the tv. It is then your job to save the souls of the "monsters" slain by the knight, acting almost as an angel (albeit in the form of a dead child rather than a divine being but I digress). With all of this being said, its time for me to divulge into what truly makes this game special to me: its style.

To this day I have yet to find a game that quite looks like moon. Its almost as if the developers were throwing art styles against the wall to see whatever stuck and just, nothing fell off. The game uses pre-rendered images for the backgrounds which isnt at all unusual especially for ps1 games but its in moons disinterest of realism where they truly feel unique.

Often, the game will not only used pre-rendered images of early cg settings but will then add real images into them, making them make the distinction between what is real and what is cgi all the more apparent. One could analyze this as a metaphor for the games themes, a digital world clashing with human emotions but I think thats missing the forest for the trees here. The clashing of both elements make for such a distinct style and thats not even mentioning the character designs.

You could have told me that every character in this game come from different games with radically different art styles and I would have no reason to disagree. However with the game being as strange as it is, no one feels out of place. And I havent even gotten started on the claymation sprites.

Im a big big stop motion fan so naturally when i found out that all 51 "monsters" are animated using said medium, I stood up and did 2 cartwheels.

Its a great way to distinct them from anything else in the game as saving their souls is the main focus of the game. It reminds me of old cartoons where you could tell what would move or not based off the coloring. If this doesn't show how you special of a game this is I dont know what will.

My personal favorite aspect of the game, however, isn't the graphics, isn't the gameplay, but the soundtrack or rather lack thereof (in a traditional sense).

In moons ambitious goal to subvert almost every norm in gaming, most of the game takes place in total silence with the exception of your own foot steps, occasional ambiance and a rare dramatic sting. Thats not to say the game has no music in it though, far from it. Instead of your normal scripted music, game features what is, in essence, a built in mp3 player.

However instead of adding your own music, the game features 36 songs, MDs as the game calls it, all ranging in artist, genre, and even tone. Some songs will act as a mellow ambiance and others lean closer to breakcore. This MD is my personal favorite:

As this "review" ,or whatever you wanna call it, comes to a close, id like to talk about my favorite scene in the game.

-SPOILERS AHEAD-

Once you've completed your mission of constructing the rocket, your sent into the abyss of space and for almost 10 minutes your just venturing quietly into the stars with nothing much happening. That is until a character who i will not name, fades in and out of existence on top of your ship and the melancholic masterpiece of a song "Promise" starts to play

He tells you:

"Soon your journey will come to an end.

When one journey ends...another journey begins.

Life is like one night's dream.

Waking and sleeping

Birth and death.

Many things appear and vanish.

What has vanished appears.

You and I are no exception.

Throughout the universe...everything dies, and is born

Life rolls on down the road.

The question is, when you wake from the dream, when will you set out toward another dimension? Will you be able to open the door?

Soon you will reach our final destination.

Perhaps we'll meet again, at the side of some road.

Goodbye."

9/10

[brella-boi]

Thinking about doing art as a life thing. Like in a general sense. Theres this stigma that if you do art as a living youre going to be a starving artist. It isnt that far from the truth but I also dont think its like that entirely either. Of course current economic atmosphere is playing a big part, but thats affecting EVERY family not just artists.

Im thinking how so many families try to drive out the idea of being an artist out of peoples heads as a career when they dont understand how vast the choices are. Is designing this lamp on your desk not art? Is building that dinner table not art? Are all the graphics online and UI and icons not art? All the childrens books, and childrens TV, all the special effects in marvel and costume making and prop design and building in real life and 3D. Is that not art?

Families have this immediate train of thought of traditional paintings set up in galleries selling for millions once the artist dies. When in reality thats not really the case. Most fine arts artists set their prices as fairly affordable. They dont want art to be a rich people thing. They want you to enjoy the piece and not break your back while still being paid for their labor.

Its crazy to me. An artist I used to be taught by did childrens workshops and earned a living that way. Almost every member of the museum I know has a main job (whether it relates to art or not is up to them.)

If you want to take up art as your primary source of living then of course you need a backup. But theres isnt any unmarried/unpartnered person that works and can afford their own home. Hell, I got a job that pays pretty average and I wouldnt afford living alone. People who know the risk, still do it, and have no extra funds or savings under their belt have a hard time when they DO move out suddenly realise it wasnt a wise choice. But not because the career is art. Its because any starting job doesnt allow for living alone. Not in this economy.

Which goes back to that stereotype of a failing artist.

Listen when you put your mind to something you WILL achieve it. It will be hard there will be hurdles but if you have the determination and perseverance you. will. achieve. your goals. With help or without. Whether its in your 20s, or your 30s, maybe even 50s. Life doesnt end at 20.

But theres still this one thing that nags me. Because growing up (and im sure others can relate) all the negativity from family only spurred me on. I was going to be successful in one way or another. And you know what? Im proud of where i am. I have a job in the industry with 3 years under my belt now. I have an online shop and can table at cons. Im part of a local group where we sell our art. And, I am part of a gallery now. Im pretty stable, and I am happy. I havent moved out but Im building my savings until I can.

And you know what my family tells me?

"Why dont you become an accountant since this isnt working out?"

Its this paradox of wanting to prove yourself to someone who will never see you as equal, who is never going to see the world through the eyes of an artist and opportunist (because lets be honest, thats what we are) and watch you succeed and climb and do things they once told you were unachievable.... And then still hold your hand and gently ask you, with eyes filled with pity and worry for things which dont exist, if maybe you should consider an office job instead.

[exnihilo-etc]

im packing to move soon and i thought as long as im packing i could show off my bookshelf, one row at a time, starting with the bottom: graphic novels, comics, and puzzle books

most of ex nihilo i still have in its original physical form. im not too sentimental for it, but it is hard to throw it away. if theres literally anything ive drawn that you want, just lmk and ill ship it to you 👀

my old notebook

i fucking LOVE this graphic novel. i found it at a thrift shop, signed by the author, which probably means whoever this belonged to was a kickstarter backer for the project. it tells the story of a young artist and his wife being revisited by an old friend just released from prison. a story about drug use, lost friendships, and how your own memory can lie to you, and by extension, lie to your loved ones. maybe the very last line of the novel inspired the name of my comic?

seconds is an amazing graphic novel by bryan lee o'malley, who might be better known for creating scott pilgrim. this is a contemporary fairy tale of the disastrous consequences you might face if you could literally undo anything that might happen to you during the day, and how katie, a restaurant manager learns to abuse that power to send her own world crashing down around her. find it, i know its for free online somewhere but if you buy it thats even better!!

moon moth started as a short story by jack vance (who in his own right created rules for an internal magic system within his stories now called "vancian magic") about a sci fi murder mystery on a utopian planet called Sirene, a planet so accustomed to luxury that crafting and artistic expression are the sole pastime. everyone always wears a mask on sirene, and the social order is complex to learn and navigate...all communication is done through musical accompaniment as well. how will ambassador edward thissel know who is friend or foe??

i havent read 'everything is teeth' yet

a graphic novelisation of one episode of angel where a tv station is sucking souls out of kids and angel becomes a felt puppet

a great graphic novel going over the history of anti scientific conspiracies, like why ppl think the moon landing was fake, homeopathy, the quack history of chiropractics, anti vax, global warming denial, evolution misunderstandings, and fracking

what the hell?

a collection of wondermark, which i would classify as having the old found artstyle of married to the sea, plus the zany writing of oglaf. its a webcomic, look fer it!

part graphic, part novel. the fog mound explores a world of talking animals where humanity's existence is rumored as a legend. but thelonious chipmunk has proof: an old postcard with a human city on it. when thelonious accidentally gets lost and finds himself in the very city on his postcard, he has to wonder...where did the humans go? are there any left?

i met jeremy at an expo a few years ago and regularly visit him every year now whenever hes at a showcase or expo. putting watercolor illustrations to music, writing little creepy poems, fan art of all kinds of franchises, i just really vibe with his artwork.

like isnt she just gorgeous???

issues 3-6 of kingdom of loathing bc ill always be such a die hard fan of the loathing games, especially the stick figure mmo that started it all

[grasslandgirl]

4, 13, 14, 19 for the fanfic writer asks? <3

mwaaahhh bev!!! <3333 xoxoxo

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

oh god. uh. so many. i have like six different gdocs open on my browser RIGHT NOW as i answer this ask, and thats not even a small amount of how many wips i bounce around between or have started

i have 26 discrete wips logged on my word counter spreadsheet- including ones i started last year- but that's only fics that i started/have worked on in the last like. year and a half. i have more wips lazing around in my gdrive i havent touched in even longer, and that number isn't counting original works/ oc fic wips i ALSO have. so many of ksjfnbskfjbnsb im a monster

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

uh it depends! not usually that much, if i'm honest- i've found that planning/plotting out my fics tends to make me lose the enthusiasm and motivation i have for writing them, but if i have a clear idea for a scene/beat i want to write next ill scribble it down before going back to the scene i'm in the middle of

and ofc the beast that is noble pining is the exception to that rule, bc if i didn't try to plan and plot out the arcs of that beast it would probably be even more of an incomprehensible mess than it already is lmao !!! i have like 3k of notes and outlines and character arc planning at the bottom of my doc for noble pining so i an always go back and refer to what i mean to write/have already written

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

oh god. this is a really interesting question uhhh

first gut instinct is like. comic book/graphic novel adaptation of slasherfic?? like one of the classic all black/white/grey ones with a lot of dark red for emphasis/highlights etc ?? i feel like that would be really visually cool skjvbsnkbj

uhhh other than that i'm not sure ?? i have really clear visualizations for most of what i write but i don't know how much of it would like. cleanly translate into art/animation/live action etc lmao

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

ohohoh :))

Ayda’s mind is still spinning with the newfound information that Fig finds her pretty enough to be tongue tied about. “I don’t think you’re being weird,” she answers, and Fig chokes a little as she swallows, lowering the bottle from her mouth. There is lipstick on the clear plastic rim, and the dark red makeup around her mouth is even more smudged. Ayda isn’t sure whether she wants to fix it, or wipe it all clean away- smudges of dark red on her fingertips, Fig’s mouth beneath her hand- “But often times, people find me weird, or unnerving, or awkward. So I don’t know if my judgement is the most reliable in this circumstance.”

“I love weird people,” Fig says, immediate and fervent. She still hasn’t looked away from Ayda, even when she briefly attempted to drown herself via plastic water bottle. “You seem like the best kind of weird, no offense intended.”

“Why would I take offense at that?”

Fig shrugs. She’s tapping a rhythm against the thin plastic of her watter bottle, now, short nails making the water jostle and the plastic crackle under her hands. “Not everyone likes being called weird, I guess?”“I don’t- usually, I don’t enjoy it. People use it as an insult, or they say that it’s a good thing, and don’t actually mean it. But I believe that you mean it’s a good thing, Figueroth. Which means I- I like it. It’s nice.”

send me numbers from this fic writer's ask list !!!!

[imraespace]

HIHIGIIGJijihihigiihihih dailt chekcin becofe i start my work

today was actually kinda okay ish i finally participated in my chem class and actually said something that wasnt as stupid than what i usuallt say AND THE TEACHER DIDNF SAY I WAS WRONG SO YAYAY

in my cooking class i was looking at… BOOKING FLIGHTS, HOTELS, RENTAL CARS AND RESERVATIONS FOR RESTAURANTS?? HELLO WHY IS THIS PROJECY REAL IM ABOJT TO WORK ON IT BUT I WANAN DELAY IT EVEN FURTHER CUZ IM A LITTLE UPSET RN

ididnt get jnto the graphic designer position and im like forcing myself to be upset over it or else im gonna be sad over it later and i feel like thats worse bc then at that point its gonna be irrelevant so BUT IM ALSO LIKE WHO?? CARES?????? ITS NOT THAT DEEP AND EVEN IF I DID GET IN ID BE PISSED OFF THAT IM MAKING A POSTER AND NOT STUDYING FOR A TEST OR SOEMTHING HELP and the club is actually irrelevant as hell so it doesnt even really matter

plus anyways theres another thing i signed up for so ill wait for that one instead mueheuheheh but i dont think im getting in that either but at least i applied idk …….

UMUMUM theres nothing else that happened today OH I FINISHED MY NAGI EDIT ITS BEEN FINISHED ACTUALLY HELP IDK WHEN TO POST IT EXCEPT ON SATURDAY WHEN IK IT PROBABLT WONT FLOP AS HARD 💔💔 BUTITS OKAY 😈😈 i need to think of another edit idea or finish that sae edit its been .. pending for like two months now i swear.

i have a test on friday and then another test next week tuesday for history I WANAN DROP OUT OF THE CLASS SO BAD WHY DID I CHOOSE TO TAKE HISTORY AND IM IN THE ADVANCED CLASSES TOO 💔 chem isnt that bad but im scared for the unit test but her tests dont seem as hard HELPME I FEEL LIKE IT SHOULD BE HARDER CUZ ITS CHEM BUT THEN AGAIN ITS ALSO LIKE IM HAPPY IT ISNT AS HARD ITS JUST I STILL DONT GET THESE TWO CONCEPTS AND I REALLT NEED TO LOCK IN FOR MY SUBJECTS

how do i even study for history cuz other than stuff like all i know is inflation, the fiat money system, and how my history teacher hates the united states and they can all suck his bald head bc they all suck and “EW AMERICANS!!!” apparently AND I SEE HIM FOR TWO PERIODS TOO HELP 💔 HE LEGIT ENCOURAGEd US TO DROP OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL AND IM LIKE HELLO ARENT U SUPPOSED TO MAKE US CONTINUE SCHOOL URE LITERALLT A TEACHER BUT OKAY.

im lowk tweaking because i reallt dont know how to study for history and my test on friday i feel so unprepared but to be fair I LEGIT HAVENT STARTED STUDYING YET AND I DONT PLAN TO UNTIL TOMORROW .. and i feel like i should start studying for my history test and im like erm maybe tmr ..! SO TECHNICALLY IF I STICK TO THE SCHEDULE I MADE FOR MYSELF IN MY HEAD WHCIH IS FINISH ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS TODAY (impossible) IT GIVES ME ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO STUDY FOR MY TWO TESTS WHICH LEAVES TIME FOR ME TO STUDY FOR MY CHEM TEST IN LIKE ESTIMATED 2-3 WEEKS BUT THEN I KNOW I CANR STICK TO SCHEDULE 💔 if i finish my cooking assignment today somehow then ill be able to do this and i sleep at like 11 pm today bc momi got mad i slept at 12 yesterday HELP. IMSORYR MOM I FELT GROSS I HAD TO SHOWER AT 11 OR ELSE I WOUDLNT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP

i usuallt shower once i get home from school but yesterday my dinner meal thign project was due so i wa slike ok i have to prioritize this over my own stinky AND I DID FINISH IT MUEHAUYAIEGAPBX NOW I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN BUT FINISH IT IN LIKE 4 HoursHELP HOW LONG SHOULD THIS EVEN TAKE HE SAID ITS REALLT SIMPLE AND COPY PASTE BUT IM ALSO REALLY SLOW WITH ASSIGNMENTS IN GENERAL .. ☹️i get distracted too easily HELP.

i dotn even have a lock in playlist like i do my liked songs on shuffle and skip wvery songim not innthe mood to listen to i actuallt need to invest in playlists or else i cant do this shuffle liked method anymore ……

illcome baxk if i finish my project early ….. ILL ACTUALLY LOCK IN TODAY TRUST BUT DAILT UQRSTION TIME

would you rather be a gojo plushie or a smiski figure im just starign at them and theyre like right next to each other HELP I HAVE TWO FIGURES FROM THE CHEER SERIES??? IDK EXACTLY BUT THEYRE CUTE I WAS GONNA COLLECT MORE BUT 15 DOLLARS PER SMISKI MYSTERY BOX IS KINDA A SCAM FOR ME 💔

- 🐙

HAII today was okayish for me as well my typing class was kinda fun the teacher wasn't scary today!

YIPPEE!! GOOD JOBB

HELP WHAT ALL OF THAT INN COOKING CLASS??

LMAO i hope you get upset or something.. that sounds mean HELOME IDK IF I SHOULD COMFORT OR NOT

LMAO making posters sounds fun tho.. yet I make legal documents in class🙄🙄

DANG GIRL DO YIU HAVE A LIST YOU CHECK OFF WHEN SIGNING TO CLUBS?

OMG NAGII I'm gonna work on my drafts maybe on friday.. and rin smau.. I got a random rin spark of inspiration when reading these romance mangas..

OH WAIT THAT REMINDED ME THAT I NEEDED TO GIVE YOU AN EDIT IDEA ILK THINK OF ONE

ew I hate history ALSO YOU CAN DROP OUT OF A CLASS? I mean i heard of it but idk.. I'm too caribbean for this HELP

when I used to do chem I was so confused but I somehow passed history on the other hand idk what i did or if I passed or not THATS HOW UNINTERESTED I WAS IN HISTORY BC THEY DONT TEACH US STUFF THAT APPARENTLY EVERYONE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS LIKE LOCAL STUFF AND IT WAS kinda boring.. SAME WITH WHEN I USED TO DO GEO THEY DIDNT TEACH US STUFF LIKE THE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS N STUFF MY FRIEND THOUGHT EGYPT WAS IN EUROPE I wasn't that bad like him.. BUT THATS MY POINT THEY DONT TEACH US IMPORTANT STUFF HERE so luckily I had business! well I chose business bc I wanna own my nursery or maybe a pre-school I like children and I have patience I think.. everyone thinks I'm crazy heh.. maybe I am..

HELPME THAT TEACHER REMINDS ME OF MY OLD DRAMA TEACHER he saw my gc messages once and HE TOOK OFF WITH MY PHONE

DANG SM MOTIVATION I wish I have that LMAO I asked my momma for help and she said when she used to go to school when she comes home she just go n play games ans she never studied she just had a good memory😂😂😐😒😒😒 I DONT I FORGOT WHAT I DID THIS MORNING I have no motivation hahaha..

YOUR MOM GETS MAD AT YOU? well mine does as well bc since I'm anemic I need 8 hours of rest bur (I don't go to sleep early) so I always get yelled at when I feel lightheaded BUT I TAKE NAPS IN THE AFTERNOON sometimes SO I HAVE A BURST OF ENERGY IN THE NIGHT plus I'm reading so

LMAO I GET DISTRACYED EASILY AS WELL that's why I'm up at 11pm and haven't started my notes bc imON MY PH9JE

ou playlisys are my favorite thing ti make! I have like 20 playlists public bc apparently I learnt my friends use them bc one asked me when I'm gonna update it and I'm like whag ans I have a bunch more in private

i woukd rather a smiski bc i searched it up and it looks cutiepie!

IDK WHAT'S A SMISKI OR WHAT SERIES IR HAVE

[summer-2024]

i will be a senior in high school in the fall and im very excited!

my main goals for this summer are:

1. apply for scholarships

2. learn to wake up with alarms and not my parents

3. be kinder to everyone (including myself)

4. (and the most unrealistic) get into a relationship again!

elaborating further:

1. the college i would like to go to is quite expensive but i fell in love with the campus and its only about an hour from my town, so i need to make up the change using scholarships. merit based scholarship through the collage covers most, and my parents will help with room and board, but there is still a good chunk i need to make up through other specialty scholarships. im doing a camp there soon to make sure i really love it so im just researching a bit right now. im planning on looking on wensites like bold.org etc

2. i need to learn how to do this asap. the camp i mentioned previously is in eleven days and breakfast starts at 7:30 and i struggle with alarms a lot. i just set one for 7:30 tomorrow morning so fingers crossed. its 11:25 now so quite late, but lights out at the camp is at 11 i think. im worried i wont get enough sleep

3. im really not a very kind person, im mean and its not good at all. im rude to myself and others and its not okay and it negatively impacts me and others. i want to be more kind, and that includes to my body. the gym has a free summer program so im planning on starting to work out as well so hopefully that will help improve my kindness as well. i need to find an exercise plan however. if i put in effort for myself thats like humility right? i got a gratitude journal as well so we will see.

4. my ex girlfriend broke up with me a little over a year ago, and ive had crushes since then but i havent even flirted with anyone i dont think. the guy i had a crush on last summer is dating another girl but the other guy i have a crush on (ironically they have the same name) just began following me on instagram so maybe theres something there. time will tell! i dont think we will have many classes together next year because i only plan to take one ap class, and this year most of our shared classes were aps (i took four this year and it was decidedly wayy too many.). regardless, im really hoping he will do this one class where they do writing for a book that my class puts together (im in graphic design) because he does creative writing and ive been fantasizing us working together on the book because the writing class this past year was all older than me and i wasnt close to many. nothing will likely come of attempting to date but we will see!

here is to hoping this summer is good!

also the reason i have so much time to do all of this is because my job isnt scheduling me but 6 hours a week so i have time to kill. i might get a second job though.

[smolcuriouskitten]

Out with the old, in with the new

California never failed to amaze her with new experiences. Being so close to America's hot spot for start up wannabes and potential somebodies, she met some interesting people. Some were nice, some were unpleasant but anything is better if you pretend to not understand them. To get out of many weird experiences, she would pretend to only speak Korean. It helped that not many spoke it, outside of one woman who shes now friends with, so she could get away with alot.

Driving to her local comic book store, she always played the same game. Nerds who havent felt the touch of a woman besides their mothers gazing over at her like sad puppies, the store clerk asking her if she needed any help, mimicking a Korean accent to say she didnt understand, all so she could shop in peace. No one paid attention to the fact of the comics within the store all being written in English, with the exception of some French and Korean graphic novels that shes read 100 times before.

Everything went off without a hitch....until one nerd approached her. She stood at a comfortable 5'2 and the man was 5'7. Not just that, he looked like he had a pasta bowl put on his head and had his hair cut around that. His approach immediately made her uncomfortable, making a comment of how 'lovely it would feel to have her caramel wrapped around him' with a gesture that made her stomach turn.

She began her routine of pretending to not understand English and hoping she could keep the contents of her stomach down, responding to everything he was saying in Korean. Mostly no's and some forms of hell no's but he wasnt budging. Great, now he was calling her exotic. Now another one approached, tall, lanky with a graphic tee and coordinating sleeves to match. At this point, she was ready to pay for her stuff and never come back here.

"I have been observing this conversation and it has occured to me that you do understand him. In one way or another, you respond to what hes telling you. How odd, when he made a comment of your beauty, you responded with 제발 저리 가, 이 소름 끼치는 괴물아. And you lie with such ease! No increased heart rate or even a twitch...!" And as he rambled, her heart dropped to her ass. How she wished the Earth would create a hole right where shes standing and swallow her.

Now the creep wouldnt leave her alone, GREAT. "Well since you understand me, whats say you and I leave this store and we can create our own chocolate factory." The creep said and she quickly looks up at the taller man. "Look I only do it to keep men like him away from me. I hate to lie but he wont leave me alone." Rockelle flatly responds and the lanky man tilts his head then made a soft 'hm' noise.

"He doesnt know how to talk to women. His success rate is less than desirable given his crappy pick up lines in a failed attempt to woo you. Howard, shes not interested in you and your 'chocolate factory', in fact you used it in the wrong context as well. You arent a candy master, nor do you have whimsical features. If you did, you would continue to contexualize Willy Wonka with some stupid sex euphemism." Oh so his name was Howard? Ick, his name fits his nature.

As the shorter man walked away, she opened her mouth to thank her 'hero' and before she could get a word out, he lets out a sigh. "Glad thats over. Now move over, you are standing in front of a limited edition Green Lantern comic I wanted. You both were in the way and I had to made someone leave. Who attempts coitus in front of limited editions?" He directs, which she promptly moves out of the way, raising a brow.

"Um..." And she made the executive decison to never come back to that comic book store.

[szif]

portal stories: mel first impressions

-the subtitles are incorrect. th. thats it. theres no hun subs so im doing english and its a fucking mess. its bad. like its so bad not even a "ah-ah, i caught something thats not whats being said!" its just. way too messy and inconsistent with the voice

-the characterization of cave johnson is really bad and feels so watered down to this like really annoying aspect. i didnt even like the guy as a character in portal 2 but i found him respectable and well written in there. here its a uhhh umm . not good.

-hey the graphics are nice, this might be subject to change though. i am still captivated by them and is the reason i havent quit yet! means a lot i think

-seeing humans is so fucking weird like this is aperture...? theres humans here? ughh...

-i like how the game starts like how half life does... its soo funny. idk if the voice lines are similar cuz half life doesnt have subtitles but i think the situation itself is similar so thats worthy of a mention

-we'll see what the game is like!