#i havent been active on tumblr for literally years

[julla]

briefly scrolled though the bigbang subreddit like recommended and - true, it definitely is active! which is fun. one of the first things i saw is that someone got into listening gd bc they knew him from the shoe world 😭😭 i mean that's just amazing lmao

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

LMFAOOOOO RUBYYYY that ask ab ur mommy!hwa series 😭 i mean i kinda get that there might be lots of people like that person who may be uncomfortable about 18+ fanfics but like????? idk why they take those seriously, tbh. it's literally a FANFIC. i dint think those that u write fanfic for would even take their time looking their name up especially here on tumblr. it is very easy to scroll away and let other people enjoy the things that they do.

is it invasive to write stuff ab how he is in bed according to his birth chart? not really but quite? however, i dont think it's something people should take too seriously. astrology is fun. his chart is literally out there for free lmao. u're doing us (whose knowledge ab astrology and stuff isnt broad) a favor. it makes us curious.

and if it's a genuine concern, idk how hard it is for that person to use a tad bit nicer language. fuming mad for something they put themselves into ijbol like plsssss do urself a favor and as per their language, scroll the fuck away???? bahdhshshsh

GENUINE QUESTION THO: what does "mommy" mean when u use it to hwa? is it also like daddy but since hwa is intuned to his feminine side, he's more of like a mommy than daddy? LMFAOFI3IJRKGJJT SORRY I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND ITTTTT : (((( coz i havent read such fic w the same theme— using mommy to a male subject. hope i dont sound rude. ><

and.. pls post more about seonghwa's natal chart observations because i enjoy yours so much. they're very detailed and i resonate with it well since i almost have the same chart as him (as i was born 8 days after him) so yeah!

LOVE UR BLOGS SO MUCH! <3

Hey! The response to this ask is legit over a year late but better late than never and I have been excited to reply to this one for awhile.

For context, this was sent after I was sent a hate anon ask in my inbox stating that I was gross for calling Seonghwa 'Mommy' and analysing his kinks in my natal chart reading.

I just don't understand why ppl won't take the easier route and just scroll, like you're expelling unnecessary energy writing and I'm expelling unnecessary cognitive energy by reading it.

The 'should ppl write smut about real life celebrities' has been a question asked for literal DECADES now and i'm always on the belief that if you don't take it srsly- it's all good.

I just watched an interview with Ryan Reynolds who admitted to reading the smut ppl have written about him and loving every second of it-

If the celebrity I wrote fanfics for actively said 'I'm uncomfortable with ppl writing smut about me' then I would respect their wishes and not do it but until then, I'm going to keep doing it.

Besides, the members of Ateez know about the fanfics written about them from that time San googled actual fanfiction on Naver in one of his lives.

And so I think they're all probably okay with it and too worried about being an idol to care about atiny's writing smut about them

I personally think my smut fics and readings are on the same level of invasiveness as 'the way I would let this man *redacted* *redacted* me'- like it's okay to say to Atiny's but maybe not so much to the members.

(although if the members read my natal chart readings I would love to get their opinion).

MOVING ON!!!

'Mommy' is just another authority title you would use in the same way as you would call someone 'Daddy', 'Sir', 'Master' etc.

It's not an age-play/age-regression thing at all and ppl confuse the two, I'm personally not into age-play/regression- it's not my thing.

For etc, my fics all use the term w/o de-aging the reader in anyway.

I wAsn't the first person who has affiliated 'mommy kink' with Seonghwa, that title goes to @hongism when I read her fic many moons ago and was in love with the concept.

I just found that the title fit with Seonghwa in such a beautiful way with his caring but dominant persona and I found it's a great way of dismantling gender norms and expectations surrounding masculinity.

In terms of not finding other male idols who have been called 'Mommy', there are a few Mommy!Hyunjin ones (I've written some too) and he's a popular idol for the concept too but there are other idols I've seen such as Lee Know and Mingi.

If you go on my blog and type in #mommy!may there are SO many fics I've reblogged where the mommy kink is used for all your smutty needs.

That's so cool you're born in 98 as well! I was born in April too so I completely resonate with parts of Seonghwa's natal chart as well.

In terms of more 18+ observation...uhh I'm not 100% certain that Seonghwa is low-key an exhibitionist but with his Aquarius Venus and the fact he looks at Atiny's with such a lustful gaze when he performs...

The chances are pretty high.

[yenqa]

10 QUESTIONS FOR U - enhablrinas edition get it bc tumblrina + enhablr

favorite color of themes?

moot with best theme?

you can send a love letter to anyone. fictional/idols/celebs. who?

which moot is most active? which moot do you barely ever run into but LOVE?

most rizzful mutual? do you flirt with ur moots?

favorite petnames/nicknames? giving or recieving?

have you ever had an online crush? (or on a moot GASP)

ever been involved in drama?

do u keep up with tumblr drama?

be honest. how many times have u swapped biases? no judgement here :D

were u here for the insaneness that was lockdown enhablr?

MIA moot u want to comeback?

ur fave fic or smau that gagged u when u read it? seungstarss BET was the end of the fucking world for me I WAS DISTRAUGHT oddeonu too grrrr the ptsd fuckkkk too there was someone m1ngh8o or smtg idk w this jungwon smau and it KILLLED MEEE he was yns roommate and always so fucking rude and his gf was legit cheating on him but he didn't leave her. gf made moves on his bff jake too who liked reader. slowburns where the main lead is an ass rlly annoy me but i also will them the shit up bc i luv angst and toxicity :DDD

are you close w ur moots? do u have any on socials?

what is ur biggest ick to see on tumblr?

words u find urself repeating too much? words u love using?

any enhablr inside jokes ur part of?

ever been featured in a moots fic?

have u ever dreamt of enhypen?

ur favorite enha pc u want rlly badly?

DRINK WATER + YOU ARE LOVED <3

thank you so much for sending an ask!! i love these weirdly specific questions! moots so sorry if youre tagged multiple times

1. i lovee pink or like neutral colored themes because i love when themes are super minimalistic !!

2. i love @okwonyo @byhees and @soov ‘s themes!! they always eat down and i use them for inspo sometimes ^_^

3. obviously, would send a love letter to my beautiful boyfriend park jongseong

4. okay idrk most active but i see @flwrstqr on my feed a bunch!! and i lovee talking to @boyfhee on the rare occasion we do talk T^T

5. guys this is all about mutuals but i literally have like two i talk to 😭 but most rizzful is @voikiraz my queen mari <3

6. my name “yen” is a nickname that just stuck with me for tumblr so probably that! but i love saying babe but i can only say that online

7. no 😭 i honestly dont think i could ever have an online crush

8. in real life no! on tumblr…

9. i want to but im so out of the loop 😭😭 @yeokii keeps me up to date though!

10. for enhypen,,, like three times… at first it was heeseung, then sunghoon, then jay!!

11. sadly no!! i joined in like summer of 2022 (happy two year anniversary!)

12. i actually am so bad at remembering my moots. like i have to interact with them to remember them so no so sorry 😭

13. OH MY GOD ODDEONUS SMAUS. but theres this one heeseung smau called “reality check!” i forgot the author, ALSO @amakumos go figure! OH MY GODD STUCK WITH ME FOREVER I DONT CARE ITS DISCONTINUED. also one more. “the language of flowers” by @soobnny GOD KILL ME NOW I LOVE THAT SMAU.

14. i am close with a couple of them!! i have @yeokii @wvnkoi and @jennaissantes on insta and a bunch of moots on discord!

15. people who dont reblog about gaza.. no matter the account size..

16. i use “LMFAO” a lot because its the only way i laugh ERMM and recently ive been calling people just “boy” or “girl” LMFAO

17. uh none! its okay though i am #antisocial girl

18. i have!! check out @yeokii ‘s upcoming smau “love glitch” guys (and upcoming maybe @soov smau *cough* tdwp *cough*🤫)

19. thank GOD i havent 🙏

20. JAY PEACH PC ONE DAY I WILL GET MY HANDS ON U. also sunghoon glasses pc in romance untold 😵‍💫😵‍💫

anyways… thank u so much for sending me these questions!!

[spock-smokes-weed]

saw your post mentioning the video that we don't talk about and I think you need to rethink your place. That video was never meant to be public and was only public by mistake. It was used for years to try and force them into coming out. It's a very serious issue and isn't meant to be hijacked into being cute and amusing. And even if they had posted it themselves, even if they had talked about it in the past, even if it was still up..... they don't owe us anything, they never have to share their personal information or life experiences. I would recommend you rewatch Basically I'm Gay, Coming Out to You, and Gay and Not Proud (as well as really any video) and realize that they are two very real people and that posts like these however "harmless" they may seem does impact them.

Hey anon I think you need to calm the fuck down. I know all of this stuff. I’m never going to demand more from them than they’re willing to give. I’ve been a fan of them for like nearly a decade at this point. I know why those videos aren’t talked about and what the situation was, I really wish you’d give me the benefit of the doubt and not act like I was born yesterday.

There is a difference between 22 year old Phil and 37 (almost 38) year old Phil. They wrote a whole fucking tour satirizing both how they used to act and how we used to act; with the final message being “hey isn’t it beautiful how all of these gay and alternative outcasts found each other.”

If it’s still too private for Phil to talk about it then that’s literally fine. I don’t fucking care. It’s just obvious to me that they’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with what they’re willing to share and what they want to revisit. My post was simply “hey that was a really strange moment in phan history, I wonder if Phil would ever be comfortable enough to revisit it.”

it’s not like I’m in dnp’s inbox going “WHY HAVENT YOU ADDRESSED THIS PRIVATE THING FROM 15 YEARS AGO!!!” it was a fucking post on tumblr. And considering how Phan is one of the most active fandoms on here again, I highly doubt they’ll see it.

We are all grown adults here. We’re allowed to have reasonable discussions about where the line is. 

[739337369137371082]

uh apparently this account is getting activity since tumblr considers me the source of a gif i posted on a ask near 3 years ago. a few things

leave me alone im not into this shit and havent been in a very long time

this is insanely funny

now that youre actively reading this post play final fantasy 14. there are men and monsters there that will blow your dicks clean off and you dont even need to play with real people for most main story content now and you can play the base game and first expansion for free (do NOT use the steam version on pc tho, ur literally setting urself up for failure)

[auggietopia]

i started this blog in december 2019. it was the first tumblr i was ever truly active on, and i had no idea how tags or anything worked. i was freshly 16 and at the age where i was just starting to discover who and what i was, and a lot of it came through in the poetry i posted here. i had very rigid ideas of what literature and poetry was, as i had stopped doing it for a very long time. i wanted attention. i was eager, although i didnt know it then. i was hopeful.

covid hit three months later, in march 2020. i was in the year group whose gcses were cancelled. i posted one poem right as covid hit, in march, and then my last poem i posted in september of 2020 around when i started sixth form, after the longest summer i will ever have in my life. it was also the best summer i have had in my life. i spent 5 months calling with my best friends so constantly to the point i woke up at 6pm and went to bed at 9am just to talk to them. i realised my identity and tried to come out to a mother i would quickly find out was transphobic. i made a lot of friends. i started to gain some real footing on who i was.

i blinked and i am in march 2024. it is four years and a few days since i posted my second to last poem, which is a number that feels truly shocking to type out as it feels like it has been a year at most. in 2019 i turned 16, but in 2024 i will turn 21. this fact upsets me as the absolute formative amount of ageing i went through between the ages of 13-16 feels like it was my entire life and that there isnt room for anything else worthwhile to occur. on my 18th birthday, i held the frog teddy i bought for myself and listened to lord huron at full volume to block out the fear blurring its way into the edges like a migraine. on my 19th birthday, i was alone and terrified in my university dorm. i can't even remember my 20th birthday because of how insignificant it was. ageing, past the age of 18, went from being something exciting to something terrifying in a way i told myself it never would. and yet i am still here, and yet i still age. in a few months, it will be my 21st, and it will likely be at home, and it will likely be alone.

in the space between 16 and now, a lot happened. there were some pretty good things. they sit tiny next to the fact i lost my best friend in 2021 because they turned out to be quite literally the worst person i have ever known on this planet. i will never forgive them for what they did. realistically, every problem i hold against them is so small in the scale of the universe that maybe it isn’t worth holding onto at all, but i have not learned that lesson. i am aggressively refusing that lesson, in fact. at least for right now.

my mental health also took the biggest nosedive it has ever taken. sixth form shut down all sense of self discovery i had once i begin to nosedive in my academics and lose all of my friends. i still havent regained my footing. it has been 2 years since i left sixth form, and i still havent regained my footing.

but it is nice to look back over this blog and not regret a single thing i wrote.

all of this is to say i am going to start posting here again. and, in the most cliche way possible, i am going to do it for me this time. and i am going to post whatever i want without caring whether or not it is refined enough, because life is scarily fleeting and i can do whatever i want.

i was first allergictodrowning, and when i thought that was stupid i became autumndrowns, and now i will be something else that i havent decided yet but it will definitely be equally as stupid. :)

[prince-babyface]

I havent been active on this fanblog in literal years but I'm back again!

I apologize to the people who messaged me and asked modding questions, I wish I had been able to get back to you with answers! I sadly wasnt able to post here anymore here when I was going through some very big life changes and lost access to a PC, and I kind of forgot about this blog until recently. It was actually the announcement of Good Omens season 2 coming out that reminded me of my old Crowley skin that I never got to complete, which reminded me that this blog still exists, haha.

I'm not sure if the VTMB modding community here is still active here on Tumblr, but I really want to start using this blog again because I loved making gifsets! It was so relaxing and fun for me. I don't have any of my old retexturing projects but it could be fun to get back into it again some time.

I do plan to restart this blog as a multi-fandom gif blog. You can probably expect to see future content from:

- VTMB - Morrowind - Skyrim - Breath of the Wild - Fallout - Pathologic 2 - Prey 2017 - Vampyr

So TLDR; I'm back from a very long absence, definitely going to be posting more gifs and maaaybe restart some of my old retexturing projects! :)

[markets]

hi markets how is life going for u bc basically the guy who was my best friend for years well we stopped talkign last spring completely bc long story short he was Very in love with me and i could not get myself to feel the same even though i TRIED girl i genuinely tried sohard but that just ended up with him feelinbg led on and hurt and asked to never speak to me again hahalol well yeah he just texted me out of the blue bc he got a leaked frank ocean song and sent it me. because he knows i love frank ocean and knew i wouldg love it and whAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT DOESNT HE REALIZE THAT NOW THIS SONG WILL BE FOREVER ATTACHED TO THE FEELING OF GUILT AND HEARTBREAK AND ILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT A SONG THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE RELEASED AND WILL ONLY EVER EXIST AS AN ATTACHMENT IN OUR MESSAGES????? anyway yeah. the song wasgood

ANON. anon listen to me because i literally had this exaxt same situation with my (now ex) best friend SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL almost two years ago. i also tried and i also accidentally led on and hurt them and they didnt ask me to never speak to them again and actually jsut ignored me all summer instead and likely got all our shared friends (aka most of my friends lol) to do the same so i just didnt bother trying to reconnect once school started again. im also currently on the other end of this kind of as the best friend who took that old best friends place (though we probably wouldve ended up becoming best friends even without that whole mess i hope) broke up with me after a few very good months of dating and a few very bad ones and i asked him not to speak to me for a while but then decided to reconnect with (which judging by the fact that im active on tumblr could be going better).

so yeah now that ive given you my credentials heres what you do you thank him if you havent already and tell him you hope hes doing well and then you put your phone down and go on a walk far far away from it and think about the whole thing. that isnt the best advice because there realyl is no good advice for this situation its one of those things that tears you apart and then points at you and says haha oh YOURE torn apart you say wow what a selfish asshole haha!! but honestly its so clear to me just from this one ask that you care about him so much and im sure he can see that too. if hes texting you he can at least see it a little, and if you would like to do so im sure your friendship is salvagable. the person who put me as the heartbreak emoji in their "people i had feelings for this year" tik tok last december invited me to their house last month and we laughed and joked even though last time i had been there i had been pretending to feel something i could only wish i truly felt. and i dont think theirs an effort more admirable and beautiful than trying to save something like that, than looking the world straight in the eyes and saying "you want me to leave this for dead but i wont because i CARE and that means something." i mean if he wants too of course. which if he sent the text he might thats kind of how i wnet about it when i tried to reconnect too. maybe take this with a grain of salt because im in a highly emotional time in my life but all im going to say is im sorry anon. i know how awful it is to lose a best friend. and im hoping everything goes well for both of you

[its-koili]

i need to be active again. i desperately want to talk to my friends but ever since i was sent irl gore and physical threats back around 2017 on my original tumblr (and later found out a few ppl i knew got it too just bc they were associated with me) i just havent fully recovered.

i talked abt this a bit on my priv twitter over the years and i dont want to delve back into it but i still feel so guilty still knowing that its my fault bc i was friends with those people and unknowingly brought my other friends/ex-friends into a crossfire. ig moving back to tumblr is just bringing up old memories and thats why i cant stop thinking about it. (these were the friends i had that made me cut off all of my other friends in the first place. they took up 99% of my time and would get angry if i talked to anyone else. they thought sending nasty anons like that was "funny" and i found out they did it after it was too late and ive blamed myself ever since. i trusted these ppl and took the fall for them multiple times bc i didnt have many friends but i had to put a stop to it and set up boundaries and thats when they turned on me. i was 18-19 and they were in their almost mid 20s. they scared the shit out of me and physically threatened me.) i have witnesses and im very grateful for that. these ppl arent online anymore from what ive gathered so im grateful for that too. they swatted one of our old mutuals successfully after what they did to me. i still feel so horrible for the individual who was affected and anybody who was hurt by them.

i know not everybody would do something like that (hell, hardly ANYBODY would do smthng like that.) but im still terrified of people bc of this. even people ive known for longer. if ppl i trusted with every inch of my being would do something so horrible im absolutely petrified itll happen again.

i still blame myself. maybe if i wouldnt have been friends with them this wouldnt have happened but i didnt know theyd be like that. they were so manipulative and it was terrifying. idk how to get over it and i dont know if i ever can. im terrified to open up and i just hope that these ppl have grown and changed because. fuck. it literally ruined me as a person. i hope theyre happy.

[chl3borzoi]

SOOOOO i blocked my sister

Youre entitled to not like family after theyve done shit things.

Yes, my sister was a great resource when i was i my preteens letting me live with her during the summer, and for getting on my brothers for their behavior when i was in my early early teens but by that point it was kinda far too late

The thing that did it was on Thanksgiving last year she came with a woman weve never met before thats shes only known for 4 months saying theyre getting married in 2 weeks and moving to texas immediately after.

Our brother and his partner brought them out to lunch and tried to say hey we think youre going kinda fast you should take more time to get to know each other etc. They flat out told him theyre not invited to the wedding. Then when she gets home after that, she comes downstairs to find me and tells me theyre getting married, and she leans in and whispers "you're inviiiiteeeed~"

Shes in her early 30's

The thing is our MOM couldnt even attend because it was such short notice. And the marriage place couldnt get the shitty zoom stream to work. Our mom had to watch a recording of the service.

I looked out the deck window and saw her lying on her back on the porch watching the video and I knew her heart was broken.

Like. Christ im gonna put it all out there

I could tell stories of how my sister used to make me cry as a child, too. And where our parents failed to parent and the eldest should have taken the place of responsibility and etc she didnt give a fuck and YES a child should never have to act a parent role thats shitty but she was 15+ yrs old she shoulda fucking known better. (I have literally my entire family to blame for almost all of my issues, But still. During my crucial years i really do feel she did not care, and it didn't help that between me and her we have 3 THREE brothers who (one of which legitimately hated me ) too)) I DIGRESS

She let our childhood home turn into a jungle because she was too busy sitting in sweatpants smoking pot and drinking starbucks and begging our mom for more money to be put on her account,

(its all torn down, now too.)

We havent spoken very much,

Mostly just snapchats here and there

And a few days ago she sent me a chat on here saying shes revamping her account and wants to be active on here, so i blocked her.

Not only because i want tumblr to be an escape from personal real life shit but because i don't really wanna communicate or be reminded of her selfish dumb behavior.

Shes extremely hard to communicate with in person, too. Literally! I feel like im crazy trying to explain it. Shes so slow... it feels like trying to have a convo with her sometimes it feels like shes unintentionally gaslighting you. I know that sounds dumb but im fuckin serious.

She was so helpless when we helped her move, too. Pacing back and forth and fretting over all her shit (we're a packrat family yeah but holy fuck shes gonna end up being a fuckin hoarder) and me and our mom were just lifting stuff and carrying it out like :/

Sheesh

I don't hate her or wish her or her wife any ill will, its just. Fuck man. Walk in, break our moms heart (as if it isnt already broken after all the shit weve been thru as a family...) and act like everythings fine and perfect.

Also I literally witnessed my sister do/say this to her wife

"Hey, -blank-, come fight this pokemon go tournament for me."

Like

?!?!?!??!?

She was like "okay :D" but still thats so fucking bizarre

[crowhyun]

Hi crow!! Just wanted to check up on you! How's everything? Are you feeling ok? Any big changes in life you'd like to share? I hope you're doing great. Srsly. I rly do

Its been awhile since ive been on tumblr and when i say awhile i mean its been like mayb 2 years 💀. I still rmb when i first started reading ffs on tumblr, u were one of the first few i read and really really liked. I remember going through so many of your works after reading my first from you. Throughout the period of time when i was active on tumblr i wld always check to see if you posted anyt new and just reread ur works over and over again. I genuinely loved them so much!

The last time i was properly on tumblr, i found out u deactivated ur old acc and had recently opened this current acc. Which was crazy long ago, and that is precisely how long i havent been on tumblr. Ofc me getting busy w school was one of the main reasons i became inactive, but u also being inactive/ getting ur writers block also played a part. Pls pls plsss dont take this the wrong way, i just wanted u to know that i really do enjoy your work!

If im not mistaken, i came back on tumblr bc i was looking to reread one of ur taehyun ffs but i couldnt find ur old acc and i was panicking like crazy. Thankfully i found your new acc n found the ff i was looking for shortly after. Im telling u the sense of relief i felt when i found ur acc, crazy. U are literally the only acc i rmb now, genuinely.

Yk one of the ffs i was really looking forward to was wired hearts (i think u refer it as AI taehyun?) It really caught my eye and peaked my interest when i saw the teaser and was crazyly looking forward to it. I even sent in an ask just to find out if u were planning on continuing it if u could repost the teaser. I was a little sad when u said u didnt really know where it was going n wasnt sure how to go about it and that u probably werent gonna post it. I was looking through ur asks and saw a few ppl asking about ai taehyun (cmiiw but i am talking abt the same thing right?) and u said u were working on it(?). I was rly happy to see that and again am looking forward to it if u decide to work on it! Again dont take this the wrong way, and dont feel pressured or anyt! (Cough cough would still love to see the teaser again at some point :''), pls dont feel pressured abt it tho)

Anyways, i came on tumblr tdy rly j by chance and the first post i see is one from u!! I was rly happy to see ur user first thing whn i opened tumblr i checked ur profile to see what youve been up to and found out youve also been inactive for a pretty long time. So i j wanted to check on u while u were here! It seems like many things hv changed in ur life, like u arent a flight attendant anym??? my memory is still stuck at that point of time 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Again i hope you're doing well. Dont be too hard on yourself and always remember there are always ppl supporting thing even behind the anon user! Lots and lots of love 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

(ps. Sorry for the super long msg😅, love u!)

(pps. Sorry if theres any typos or sentences that dont make sense, did read through what i wrote😅😅, again love u lots! 🩷🩷🩷)

Okay so, I woke up randomly at like 7 am and decided to check Tumblr bcs I'm a technology obsessed Gen z and omggggg 😭 this is gonna make me cry

Like why are we fated

I really do want to keep writing, and I've started up some works, so be prepared to have some put this week! I also really do what to continue with AI Taehyun bcs I've had a pretty good prompt in my head for a while and it's a bit angsty, but I love writing angst, it's just that one will probably be longer, so maybe around 7k-10k words I just gotta LOCK IN

And as for my life, I'm doing pretty good! I'm in school now, studying medica laboratory science alongside a pre-med track, so it's fine for my freshman year, but I do know that it's going to get quite rigorous soon enough so wish me luck hehe. I also miss yapping on here about drama in my life, and I wanna get back to that too lol

And do not worry about sending long messages, I LOVE to read them, and they make me so happy! You've really pushed me further into wanting to get back on here to post frequently, and I'm really going to set my sights on doing so. I miss Tumblr and I miss yall, so although I won't be posting everyday, I'll try my hardest to post at least once a week!

Also, Thanksgiving break is starting tomorrow, and then after that, it's presentations and exams, so I'll also be kinda busy with studying 😅 I'll Mae it work tho

[saltcxrcle]

my darling!!

i saw your little rant post about asks and interactions and all that, and i know that i'm probably one of those moots these days who gets lots of asks but i do want to say that i've felt that way for a long long time!! i really really relate to it; i've been actively writing on tumblr for like four years now and this is the first time i've received asks this often (which i'm so grateful for ofc)! but i assure you that it's not you!! i don't really understand what makes people consistently send asks to specific blogs and i wish i did, but alas. i do not know lol.

idk if it helps much coming from me these days, but you're not alone in that feeling! i've felt it on this blog and my other one pretty consistently for a while now and (it feels like) i've only just begun to get more asks. and i think that comes and goes too; i used to have a decent amount of asks on my other blog for a bit there, but that tapered off for one reason or another even before i became inactive. idk, it's all sort of odd!! you can be the nicest, most inviting, and actively online person, and still not get much interaction for who knows what reason T_T

either way, it's so so valid and something that authors experience all over tumblr all the time i think. there's just a general lack of interaction on fics a lot of the time, and it feels discouraging not to have interaction through your inbox or other more personal ways especially because one of the nicest parts about running a blog is feeling a sense of community within it. i wish i knew what it is that attracts more asks but either way i hope people realize just how fun and lovely it is to be in your inbox <33

-mari @prentissluvr

ngl i almost started to sob when reading this (also sorry it took me a bit to get to this i was avoiding my inbox all day yesterday because i was in a bit of a mood after making that rant lol)

yeah being on a site like this is weird with user interactions since i've literally never experienced online interaction like this before since i got the app like 3-4 years ago and didn't have much of an online presence as i do now. like i only really started to write more frequently this year and before that id post a fic maybe once or twice a year? idk id have to check but it def wasn't as frequent as it has been in the past 3-4 months.

but im glad it's not twitter since its slightly less toxic (from what i've heard about twitter since i havent used it a day in my life) and yeah i just was feeling lots of things when i made that rant and needed to get it out.

thank you thank you for sending this in my love it made me feel better about just everything in general and i always smile when i see you in my inbox <33

[akutahaha]

just angry ranting about the news in the furry community if you know you know, i didn't know the dude nor did i hear great things about him and stuff but it's how the healthcare system absolutely killed him and how the system doesnt care about helping but rather care about money, it's so triggering and upsetting

putting my angry ramblings below because blah trauma talk (a bit trauma dumping lol and being angry)

ive been ranting about this system for literal years i hate it so much they fuck over so many people just to squeeze out every bit of money out of them

seeing people go through shit like this is so triggering because it's what my family has to go through constantly because we are poor, because we are disabled, because we don't have insurance (or expensive ones they can get more money out of)

going through the very traumatic events of mom needing emergency brain surgery the hospital she was sent to kept shrugging her off, saying she's probably on drugs, and was not only rude as hell but wanted to instantly kick her out. if it wasnt for that ONE doctor with common sense to actually check her brain with a scan she would have been dead that same night.

but not only that the hospital they sent her to also ended up kicking her out literally right after her surgery with tubes and all still connected to her because we didnt have insurance, she should have not been sent home. she should have stayed there longer because for the month she was at home me and my father basically had to play doctor and take care of her, her tubes and other things she came home with, her tons of medicine that had to be given on the hour, EVERYTHING. this is ON TOP OF her not mentally being there because of the brain trauma and her having a literal piece of her skull missing that could easily have gotten infected or worse. (which would have been ANOTHER trip to the hospital)

and then on top of all this if we had not made donation posts and asked for help we would have been in debt and lose everything. we couldn't afford bills that were coming up, mom who was unable to do anything was literally the only one with a paying job and now that was gone. (still to this day im so fucking thankful for tumblr fandoms here and for you guys donating i am not exaggerating when i say that you guys literally saved my life and i will forever appreciate that)

the system also didnt do anything to help my grandmother but send her to her grave quicker when she fell and broke SEVERAL bones but instead of helping her they just let her lay there in her bed to suffer

i know people, especially abled body ppl will wanna celebrate and dunk on this but you guys have GOT to see the bigger picture in how fucking terrifying this is that the system does this to people. YOU ARE ALSO INCLUDED IN THIS. the system doesnt give a fuck about anyone all they see is money.

but also literally listen to us disabled and poor people when we talk about these things and point out how horrific this is. it's not "hehe evil person died uwu" it's "OPEN YOUR EYES THIS SYSTEM IS ACTIVELY KILLING PEOPLE" and it can and will kill people you are close to and love and care about, not just the evil people.

because of me being poor i literally live with the mindset of "if i die i die" because im fully aware that all it takes is one bad illness, one bad infection and i'm gone for good. being poor and disabled means living life knowing full well you are going to die and not get the help you need. is that depressing as hell? yeah. but thats the reality of our health system.

they do not care. they do not care about people or wanting to help. i havent been to a doctor in forever and im honestly terrified to because i know damn well they are gonna slap me with a bill that i will never be able to pay off.

[bunglegaydogs]

no worries and AAA welcome back!!!!!

☺️🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

how are you???? and bruh you got kicked out of college?? what happened? mind sharing some life lore?

(It's totally okay if you'd rather not btw!! No pressure)

XOXO

So good to have u back bro 😚😘

THANK YOU RAHHH

and BAHAHAH yes i got kicked out of college

new bunglegaydogs lore just dropped

its not anything that deep and when i tell ppl the reason it makes me seem so uncool BAHAHAH

i got kicked out bc they told me that i had no life experience, no job, and that i was apparently bad/not doing work in class when i literally was lol

the main reason was attendance and they called me in to the office to talk about it and then they were like "yeah we just dont think its for you rn so we think that you should take a gap year"

bearing in mind i had the most VALID fucking reasons. and then she was like "well you never message ahead when youre going to be late blah blah blah" and i showed her my phone which was literally shattered and i couldnt see the screen and she jsut went "...to be honest, thats a you problem"

so they kicked me out lol sadly i didnt get much of a say in it but also fuck college im going back for art this september but i am going NOWHERE NEAR any other teachers or them at all

SORRY FOR THE DUMP BAHAHAHAA hope you enjoyed the sweet ahh lore

and THANK YOUUU its nice to be back on tumblr lol i havent been as active the past few weeks but im going to start trying to be ^^

THANK YOU DUDE MWAH MWAH MWAH <3 have a lovely day ^^

[chlorinecake]

idk if u didnt reply to my last one or it didnt show up again 💔💔💔💔💔 ok so i literally forgot what i wrote last time soooo im screwed

i think i wrote

blueberry diaries log one

i mean i love jake land but the thing is idols they rarely come here like.. world tour literally means japan korea america americans are sooooo lucky 💔💔💔 i wish i could see enha but they havent come here even ONCE but its ok ive still had the chance to go to some concerts 😄😄 but the thing is i was literally resisting the urge to fly to singapore to watch enha 😞😞😞

speaking of did u go to the enhypen concert when they went to 29393288283 places in ur country 😄if u did hope it was fun (dying on the inside) if u didnt thennnn.. theres always next time

america is very cool tho i went there a while ago long flight tho but it was fun i went back in time sooo

im very curious what happens when an idol sees an au about themself.. 😭😭 how would they react LMAOAOA

anyways about universe ticket its really not traumatising some of the contestants even have tiktok accounts 😄😄 it feels a little rushed tho.. BUT THE THING IS THE DEBUT GROUP HAS ONE ADULT AND ONE 12 YEAR OLD I FEEL SO OLDDDD

also i never knew that you can change the size and the font of words on tumblr i feel so.. uneducated 😭😭

ok signing off,

- 😹

Omg, the “Blueberry Diaries” 😍 Sign me up, I love this show alreadyyy !!

Flying out to Singapore just to see them perform would’ve been such a fun experience I’m sure, but at the same time, very expensive and maybe even scary if you went alone … Crossing my fingers in hope that one day tho, Enhypen will show some love to Jake Land and it’s residing engenes 🫶

But no, I’ve actually never been to one of their concerts before, and as much as I’d love to go one day, my mom is SO ANTI kpop to the point that if she even knew that I listened to their music, she’d take my phone away again 😭 Like ong, she literally had a panic attack when she saw pictures of Hyunjin & Niki in my gallery, but that’s a story for another day … 🍵

And omg, which state did you visit (if you don’t mind sharing) …. You also just reminded me of my childhood fascination with Australia… I don’t know why, but I’ve always wanted to visit there as a kid, and even more NOW as an adult knowing that so many of my favorites idols are from there :’3

About the ff thing tho, I honestly feel like most of them would be flattered by it while others would just find it flat out weird 😭 Sometimes, I get the feeling that Enhypen knows abt ppl writing stuff for them, mostly bc it just seems like they’re always in on our inside jokes and strange engene ways 🫠

But trainees having active social media accounts is new :0 ?!? And ‘11 liners working alongside adults is crazyy !! Hell, I can’t even believe I just said 11’ liners, HELP-

Good to hear no one’s being traumatized tho 😭 And yeah, you’ll learn that tumblr has a lot of cool features and quirks once you keep using it !!

Anyways, thanks for reaching out again, Blueberry !! It was fun responding to this lengthy ask huhu 🤭 ~

[tooliltoolate]

FUCK

So. Haven't posted in a while. Man. Life. First things first. College! I'm in college! LFGGGG Even better, I'm dorming!!!! I feel so much better now to be honest. I'm eating better, getting out more(though im not like 'physically active' yet) and just living more. But well, I'm still to scared to go bar hopping and shit. But man, my quality of life just skyrocketed. Still fucking depressed though. Sigh. I feel so alone sometimes. Also. Watched Bee and Puppycat. So goddamn good. Well, not the netflix thing which I've learned also exists but the 1 hour original first season thing. Sad but so, so heartwarming. Idk, just something that really spoke to me. Happy I get to write that detail down here, that I didn't forget it. What else. I'm studying computer science. Funny story, I tried looking up job sites for internships(I know I'm still first year but you know shoot your shot!!!!!) and learned that there are a lot of web development related jobs. Guess I know what to study. Also!!!! Posted the first chapter of my story on royal road. First draft, completely unpolished, literally haven't done any worldbuilding or anything yet but I wanted to just force myself to write and post something. I did, but I kinda forgot to update on it. Shiet. But at least its something!!!!!! Reading Spivak's calculus as well. Might start writing shit about it actually. Were having precalculus this sem and since I basically had calculus already during high school wanted to read something more rigorous since I'm basically just cruising through math. Still at the prologue(funny how theres a prologue to a math textbook) and, well, I guess it's cool? I don't really understand why I had to learn this, like if its just a way of gently introducing adult math stuff like proofs or if the properties and facts(theorems?) will actually come into play. Also, its been like some months and we still havent coded shit. What is going onnnnnnn. Were basically still at number systems? Like, other universities have started already, and were supposed to be like one of the best. Sigh. These nights I suddenly get... uneasy? anxious? depressed? in my dorm room. My chest just tightens and I just want to cry. Maybe its just loneliness or home sickness. Suddenly remembered tumblr exactly because of that feeling tbh.

How does one start going to bars and shit anyway, Im ugly as fuck. Really jealous of these peole who can just, be themselves.

Man. Havent like, watched anything or read anything so far besides Bee and Puppycat.

Anyway!!! Just really happy to have an outlet, even if no one will ever read this, since I just recently left my old hs friend group. A part of me is super afraid someones gonna connect the dots and realize, wait isnt this x?, but like, I dont really care.

Sorry for the messy dump lol, nonexistent reader. Good night!