#i haven't listened to this musical in ages i went back to it because of merrily lol

[barblaz-arts]

I know you've been making a lot of art of it lately, but out of curiosity, what's your opinion on Hazbin Hotel in general? I'm referring to both the show and the fandom here. Just curious.

God. What a loaded question. Are you ready? Bcuz I'm fresh from Vaggie discourse on twitter and I have a lot to say.

I think that Hazbin Hotel seems worse than it is for people who know the fandom but haven't actually watched the show. Honestly, I think it's a fine show. It isnt super incredible and I'm not gonna sing praises about how deep and thought provoking it is or whether it's an artistic masterpiece. It never tried to be that and was never advertised as such(to my knowledge) anyway. I just had a lot of fun. Like, yeh sure the cussing in the dialogue can be a bit much, especially in ep 1, but there are different writers in other episodes, so it gets better. It can be super crude yeh, but I grew up watching things like the Scary Movie franchise and other dumb american movies (yes, i was too young for them. yes, i still watched them), so it's pretty tolerable for me. It also helps that Charlie is the main character. That's one of the main reasons why I watch HH but dont watch HB. It's probably a fun show, but without a sweetheart like Charlie to balance things out, I'd just get tired of the sex jokes and mean jokes.

Compared to my last hyperfixation, I think I have more things to love about Hazbin Hotel, believe it or not. With Netflix's Wednesday, I had already been an Addams Family fan for a while and hung on because I loved the family and eventually Enid and wenclair. The show itself was honestly meh... so far! I'll give season 2 another shot.

But with Hazbin Hotel, it catered to a lot of things I've always loved. Found family with a bunch of misfits? We didnt get to see it much bcuz of the fuckass 8-ep per season format we have nowadays, but its fine its there! The juxtaposition of a kind hearted woman in a harsh world? Love love Charlie for that, I watched the show in the first place because of her. A canon lesbian lover with a "fuck the world cuz my world is you" type of love for the protag? Fuck yes. How very Pearl-from-Steven-Universe of Vaggie. And the music? The music is soooo good. I didn't know the songwriter prior to watching, so I was nervous about the songs, but I knew most of the theater actors they cast(still cant believe Jeremy fucking Jordan is Lucifer) so I figured even if the songs are mid, at least the performances would be topnotch. And they were! But the songs were a pleasant surprise. Sam Haft did real damn well. I still listen to the soundtrack to this day.

The fandom, however, is probably the worst one I've been in. And I've been in a lot in my big age... Just... lacking media literacy, and based on the replies I get when I say something on twitter, it seems a lot of them lack reading comprehension and just plain emotional intelligence too.

There's a lot of criticisms about this show that I honestly think is fair. Pacing, character design, overuse of the F word, whatever. But in my opinion, claiming that Hazbin is a male-centered show is an unfair misconception that is mostly the fault of the fandom.

Bcuz, sure, the male characters are uber popular. Alastor, Vox, Lucifer, Angel Dust and the many web of ships they're involved in went trending every few business days. But come on now. How often does a fandom even have their main protag as the most talked about character? This has been going on for ages. Just because the boys have the most merch and fics and fanarts and thirsty fans doesn't mean that they had the spotlight for most of the show itself. It only meant that they were the ones the viewers paid attention to, in a fandom filled with people drooling over the next tumblr sexyman and toxic yaoi ship of the month.

But if you actually look back at what the show gave us so far, the boys didnt outshine the women. I actually think the women got to do more and be more as characters than the men did. Let's take a look at the male characters.

Alastor was not in all the episodes. In fact, he was MIA in two out of the eight episodes. In all the episodes he was in, he was a mere side character. His purpose in season one was to stir the pot and be the intriguing mystery that occasionally quips. But he was not the one whose deeper thoughts were explored and whose character and goals was challenged THROUGHOUT the show, merely alluded to at the VERY END of the season, which is hardly him taking the spotlight away from Charlie. If you merely looked at the fan content of him, you'd think he were a father figure to Charlie(or a love interest. whatever) and that he has developed a soft spot for the Hazbins deep down in that cannibal heart of his. But if you pay attention to the show, he never had even a meaningful one on one conversation with the Hazbins. The only time that happened is when (a)he threatened Husk's life (b)when he constantly mocked Charlie while she was down in the dumps and used this as an opportunity to manipulate her and (b)when he told Niffty watching the crew sure can "make one sentimental", even tho he had taken no prior opportunity to bond with them! There's no foundation for all the fandom's claims that he could be redeemed bcuz of a budding fondness for the group, but that's all you see of his fan content(aside from the horniness). I dont have any problem with his lack of an actual relationship with the Hazbins bcuz I believe redemption for him is not what the show is going for, but it's frustrating to see people interpreting it that way BUT not seeing how horridly developed it would be if that is the case, meanwhile they turn around and say that Vaggie and Chaggie as a ship "had terrible development".

Then we have the male Vees. Vox was only ever in episode two, and was essentially a youtube reactor in episode 8. He was in ep 4 but had no speaking lines. We only know of his obsession with Alastor and the toxic relationship he has with Val. Val, meanwhile, is merely shown as the sex obsessed fiend behind Hell's sex industry and Angel's abuse. They did what they needed to do with minimal screentime. It was fine, but that's IT. Despite what little CANON gave so far, you have hundreds of people writing essays and fics and fanarts about them being complicated characters. But to reiterate, this does not mean that they are bad characters or that they don't deserve the fame. But to say that these men are better written within canon than the women is such a bold statement when most of the depth they knew of these characters were lore drops given before the show and their own speculations as they dug into the shallow soil of what the show has so far.

I'm not gonna speak about Angel and Lucifer. Because I think they were characters who were legitimately well-explored so far.

Now onto the women. So many of them were given the opportunity to have their characters challenged or given the agency to push characters and the plot forward or give you intrigue about implications of what's to come for the characters and the plot. I've talked a lot about Charlie and Vaggie. So let me talk about the other, terribly underrated women of Hazbin.

Velvette and Carmilla were the ones who advanced the subplot in the war against Heaven. Because of Carmilla's love for her family despite being a demon, an angel was killed. It gave Heaven the excuse to escalate things, but it also gave Charlie hope later on in the season that they're not powerless. Carmilla was also the first demon shown to make selfless actions that is contrary to what is expected of demons, making it proof that Charlie's belief that demons deserve a second chance isn't unwarranted. She's an interesting character, as an overlord who hangs on to power but clearly has morals. But how often do you see people writing essays about her? Eating up the fact that she's a powerful overlord but would sacrifice anything for her daughters? If Carmilla were a man, hundreds of girlies would be drooling over the crime boss who has a soft spot for his daughters.

Meanwhile, Velvette got to demonstrate why exactly she's an Overlord despite being the youngest demon in there. She's calculating and observant. She gives off a haughty vibe and constantly boasts about how she's young and fresh, but she isn't naive. During that meeting, she paid attention to Carmilla and Zestial's relationship. In order to find out who killed the angel, she riled everyone up, and when she got the feeling it was Carmilla, she mocked Zestial so that Carmilla could slip up. By playing these Overlords who are older and more experienced than her, Velvette showed what exactly her asset was to the Vees and why she's a threat, something that Vox and Val have yet to be given the opportunity to do when they were busy eye-fucking Alastor and literally fucking Angel. But in fan content about the Vees, Velvette is almost treated as an after thought to the boys...

Then we have the Seraphs. Not only were their designs gorgeous, their dynamic and presence as characters had impact to the plot and main characters.

Emily is a much needed character to show that this story isn't meant to tell you that Heaven = bad; Hell = good. There is good and bad in both, and it is so important for the protags to know that they have an ally in Emily who represents the true virtues that heaven is supposed to uphold. And I love the confrontation she had with Sera when her own view of what's right and good was challenged. We got to see the strength of her character and started the seeds of what could be heaven's acceptance of Charlie's goals.

Sera is such an interesting character to me. She was also important to show that not all angels were sadistic like Adam and Lute, but not in the same way Emily was. I have no idea so far which direction this show would go with her. But I'm intrigued by the fact that she seems to be driven by fear, unlike Adam and Lute's cruelty. She knew Lucifer and was there when he was cast out for his disobedience. Whether everything she's doing is to prevent that from happening again remains to be seen, and I'm looking forward to this kind of subplot for her.

And then Rosie! I really really look forward to seeing more from her. Spoilers aside, something I barely see people talk about is how interesting it is that Rosie is every bit the leader that Charlie hopes to be. Rosie is able to be a respected overlord in her own faction without needing to sacrifice her love for showmanship and music and her positive disposition. When we were officially introduced to her, they show how she seems to care about actually taking care of her people, not JUST ordering them around, by talking to them personally and giving advice. That's exactly what Charlie wanted to do for her people, isn't it? The hotel to Charlie was what the emporium was to Rosie. They have a lot of similarities that could set up for Rosie to be the one to teach Charlie in becoming a leader. Now whether that's a good thing or a bad thing remains to be seen, but it is rather compelling.

So yeah! With all that said, I really dont think this show ignores its women at all. Just because a bigger part of the fandom gravitated towards the men doesn't necessarily mean its a misogynistic show so far. But if certain people are claiming that the women are badly written, then I hope they also own up to the fact that their blorbos are just as shallowly presented within the show, maybe even more so. Which wouldn't even be a bad thing! Since when did a show or character have to be amazingly written for a person to like them? That's just no fun at all. All I'm saying is... Fuck this fandom's double standards, hiding behind claims that it's the writing's fault when the problem is they couldn't be bothered to think about the women.

[noys-boise]

21 chump street is weird because I'm supposed to hate Naomi and like i DO but. Lindsay Mendez has such a lovely voice it's hard sometimes

[fuctacles]

<< 😺 | 😺😺😺 >>

Eddie doesn't think more about Steph until there's a knock on the door on Saturday morning. He sighs, knowing it's his duty to open since his uncle would take forever on his crutch. And because he's a good nephew and wouldn't make him do that, of course.

He doesn't bother with the peephole, his sleepy brain basically forgetting of its existence. It's only when he opens the door and finds Steph with a duffel bag on the other side, that he realizes he went to open the door in nothing but his old Iron Man pajama bottoms.

"Good morning!" Steph greets him with a bright smile that falters a bit when her gaze drops to his tattooed chest. Eddie couldn't imagine a sight of zombie and spider tattoos giving him any credit in her pretty, middle-aged eyes. She quickly looks back up to meet his gaze. "Did I wake you up?" she asks, looking apologetic. 

Eddie shakes his head, hoping it would send his hair over his shoulders, and cover him up a bit. 

"I did!" Wayne pipes up from the kitchen. He sounds way too happy about running into a cupboard on his way out of the bathroom.

"Good morning, Mr. Wayne!" she calls out, making Eddie roll his eyes.

"You can just come in, no need to yell through the whole place."

"Right, sorry," she steps inside tentatively, her hand clutching the strap of her bag. She's wearing a colorful windbreaker and her hair is tied up, showing off the soft line of her jaw and the beauty marks on her neck. She heads to the kitchen, seemingly already knowing her way around, and Eddie closes the door behind her. He quickly runs off to his bedroom (/guest room, now that he's on campus most of the time) and grabs a t-shirt to cover his nipples, tattoos, and overall unattractiveness.

"Visiting Robin for the weekend?" He catches his uncle's question when he steps back in. 

It rubs him the wrong way, not knowing who Robin is. Is he Steph's boyfriend? Maybe they're doing long-distance? He returns to the ancient coffee maker he had abandoned to open the door.

"Yeah. I haven't seen Rob since last month. Our days off finally aligned."

"Can't you stay there longer? I'm sure Eddie wouldn't mind taking care of your cats for a day or two more."

"Hey!" Eddie whips around to glare at his uncle. The coffee maker splutters behind him. "Don't just offer my services like that," he scoffs. Then, he turns to Steph. "I wouldn't, though."

She chuckles and he grins, simply happy to make her smile.

"Try dealing with them alone first, and then we'll talk. But, you really wouldn't mind? If I stayed a day longer?"

He shakes his head.

"Not at all." He still has Wayne's words fresh in his mind. That people weren't kind to her, that she doesn't have many friends to rely on. "I'm assuming Robin is someone important to you?" he half-asks, leaning against the counter all casually. 

Just the thought of Robin makes Steph glow.

"She's my best friend. We met at our first job serving ice cream."

Eddie's a bit embarrassed at the relief of knowing Robin is a girl. Still, a best friend is higher in ranks than your friendly neighbour's nephew. 

"What's it been? Twenty years?" Wayne asks. Steph nods, making him whistle. "I couldn't stand any of my coworkers for longer than a shift."

"Maybe you're bad at making friends," Eddie butts in. "I've known Gareth since high school and we're still going strong."

"You guys are band buddies, that's different," Wayne scoffs. 

"You play in a band?" Steph picks up, her eyes shining with interest that Eddie squirms under.

"Yeah, we play metal though. Probably not your stuff."

She shakes her head.

"Any music can be good when you put your heart into it. My friends listen to all kinds of weird stuff, I've heard everything from classical to experimental techno." She rolls her eyes. "I'd love to hear your music if you have anything recorded. Or you could give me a heads up if you're playing somewhere."

All Eddie can do is stare at her, dumbfounded. 

"Uh-huh."

Wayne, bless his sometimes useful soul, saves his ass by changing the subject.

"Coffee?" he asks the stunning woman at their table. She's just sitting there, in the Munson abode at their kitchen table while they're still in pajamas like it's normal. Eddie wants it to be normal. Wants to sit in her lap and listen to her laugh. 

She looks at her watch. It's white, she must be cleaning it often.

"I only have fifteen more minutes before I really have to go."

"Half a coffee then," Eddie decides for her, grabbing the mugs. She chuckles.

"Fine." She rolls her eyes.

Each of them gets their coffee, and Eddie notes Steph takes her with just a splash of milk. Before he can ask anything, to push their small morning gathering further into a friendly small talk, she reaches into her pocket to fish out her house key.

"I came over to drop the keys," she says, pushing them towards Eddie. "And if you have something to write on, I'll give you Robin's house number in case of emergencies."

"Sure, yeah." He nods, standing up immediately to look for the notepad they plan the grocery list in. In his haste, he catches Wayne's amused stare. He sends him a frown, but the man is already looking away, which only further agitates him. 

[neptuneiris]

Cruel Summer (05/10)

Ocean's Whisper

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader

summary: non-communication, misunderstandings and bad times happen at Crown's, which will make or break your situation with with a certain rich boy.

words: 11.7k

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hello! I hope everyone is well 🤗 i had a lot of fun writing this chapter, the writing was easy and i'm very happy with the result. I really loved this chapter and I hope you love it too.

and also, please comment, let me know your comments, and reblog for the story to be more recognized, please 🙏🏻thank you so much for reading and enjoy it!

warnings: language, angst, Floris.

After that kiss in the ocean, you haven't stopped thinking about Aemond Targaryen for a single moment.

The feeling and the more than detailed memories are still fresh in your mind. The way he held you, the way he looked at you and the way he kissed you, remembering every movement of his lips and his big hands on your waist, marking your skin underwater.

Even at work, in every move and every thing you do right there, you do it thinking of him and only him.

And before you go to sleep, you go back to the same thing, remembering the way you both were clinging to each other, in a slow, passionate kiss as you stare at the ceiling of your room with your headphones listening to music.

You can't help it, it's more than clear.

And the urgency along with the excitement of telling Alysanne everything from the beginning until now, grows more and more with each passing moment.

But it's been four days since that night and you haven't heard anything from him.

After the fireworks were over, both pulled apart from one and the other to return to the beach. And neither of you mentioned anything about what happened, you just went back to sitting by the fire to dry off, watching the ocean, the sky and nothing else.

Even though the two of you didn't talk much afterwards, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, but you could feel how he was thinking about it just like you were.

And because you can't try to tell what he was probably feeling from his expression, you still didn't feel any kind of regret. Because you didn't feel regret at any point.

But now that the two of you haven't spoken again, you're slowly doubting that it was a good idea.

You even thought of texting him, just to know if he is okay, but if you had told Alysanne, you could already hear her scolding or advice as she likes to call it, telling you that if he hasn't talked to you, it's because he doesn't want to and you won't be the first one to look for him.

Honestly you are one of those girls who have the thought that girls can also take the first step without leaving it all to the men, but... sometimes.

And now is not one of those 'sometimes'.

Because you've done the math and... you mean... Aemond Targaryen and you? The richest guy in all of Crown's with you? A poor one?

Maybe it's your fault for getting your hopes up for a simple kiss, maybe at the time he didn't regret it but now that days have passed, he must already think about it and that's why he hasn't contacted you... because it was a mistake.

Who rich guy would want to be with you? And of all guys, precisely him?

It's basically a forbidden law among guys and girls your age that a rich guy and a poor girl can't be friends, but now a couple? It's even more scandalous and impossible.

Maybe what happened between him and you was due to the emotion of the moment. And although his relationship with Floris is neither reciprocal nor true, the reality is clear and you don't compete with her for all that she can offer Aemond.

Now you know that the relationships among Crown's are rarely not convenient but that's how they have to be. And you have nothing to offer or share with Aemond.

However... you have the small hope.

The hope that he will seek you out and tell you to meet him at the pier. The hope that he doesn't think it was a mistake. And the hope that there are no regrets.

But the days continue to pass, there is no signal from him and you keep your same routine as always, disappointed and foolishly watching your phone waiting for a text from him. But nothing.

And the kiss won't leave your mind.

"Hurry up, Blackwood. Table three and four."

Mr. Frey says to you from the cash register, watching you with a serious, annoyed look on his face, wishing you were some kind of super human so you could do everything he ask's at the same time.

You avoid rolling your eyes and giving him an ungraceful look, as you're annoyed enough to have to put up with it, but quickly grab your pad and pen to head over to the new customers.

One thing you like about your job is that it keeps your mind busy most of the day. Sometimes the hours go by fast and sometimes not so fast. But you prefer this to overthinking most of the time.

So the minutes tick by, you find yourself taking orders, when suddenly, voices and giggles that you know very well enter the restaurant and catch your attention.

You part your lips and look towards the doors, where you see Floris and Cassandra Baratheon with Cerelle and Tyshara Lannister. But that's not the worst part, the worst part is that Aemond enters behind Floris with an expressionless but almost bored look on his face.

'Great.'

You think instantly, feeling the bitterness but also the nerves completely invade you as well as the memories intensify more at that moment as you bite your inner cheek and only pray it's not your turn to ask them for the order.

But it's not in your favor, as Alysanne is busy writing down orders and immediately Mr. Frey's menacing gaze lands on you.

"Blackwood!"

'Fuck.'

You feel yourself become small in your place and nerves invade your whole body, feeling your hands and legs begin to tremble.

'Oh God'.

You think completely terrified, then steel yourself with a bit of courage, take a deep breath and head towards them with the best look possible and already mentalizing yourself not to stare at him too much.

And pretend that you don't care at all about what happened between the two of them just like he does.

The four girls let out a too outrageous laugh that intimidates you as you start to approach, seeing their impeccable and expensive outfits, besides those accessories that scream all in them money.

But Aemond stands out more.

And it bothers you how damn good he looks with those sunglasses now on his forehead and his typical silver chain peeking out between the collar of his black t-shirt.

You start praying again and finally reach his table.

"Welcome to the Lord of the Crossing, what can I get you?"

You feel his gaze instantly on you but you remain firmly in watching your pad and occasionally them, but you don't watch him.

"I'll have a burger without fries and an iced tea," Cassandra speaks and you quickly write it down, "I don't want to eat any seafood today," she tells her friends.

"For me it would be shrimp broth," Cerelle then says.

Then the others go on telling you and you continue to write it down, though you don't miss Aemond's gaze on you and also her's... Floris.

You watch her back for a second and see how she watches you attentively, with a small amused smile on her lips. But you look away when they continue to tell you what they want to eat.

"Are you going to order a burger too?" asks Cassandra to Floris.

"Ew, no," he says with a disgusted face, "Do you know how many calories that has?"

"And what are you going to order? Salmon toast?"

"Are you crazy? I'm not eating any of that, so gross."

She tells her still disgusted and you don't understand her attitude or her behavior at all. But she clearly has no manners and saying such a thing, where the whole restaurant can hear her, is disrespectful.

"I'll have a sushi, with seaweed and no tampico, please," she says and you write it down.

But you don't miss the way she said it either, so polite and sweet, which is rare. But you ignore her and then turn slightly to Aemond, who is the only one left to order, but you don't look directly at him, you just wait for him to order.

"Just a soda, please."

'May the sound of his voice not affect you.'

You instantly say to yourself as you write it down and are about to ask if that will be all, when Floris' delicate and tender voice speaks first.

"Aren't you going to eat anything, babe? Are you feeling well?" she says worriedly, placing her hand on his arm.

"I'm fine," he replies in a completely different tone of voice than hers.

You press your lips and watch them all with your best look.

"That would be all?"

They all confirm yes and you walk away from there as if they have a contagious disease, really hoping they won't stay long.

You give the new orders to the cooks and clear the unoccupied tables for the next customers. You try not to look in their direction, just keeping busy with your work.

Then Alysanne appears and you point your gaze towards her table, where the Baratheon's and Lannister's are, to which she makes an annoyed face that makes you chuckle under your breath, and then you both continue working.

Then you finish delivering some orders when you see out of the corner of your eye how Aemond get's up and heads for the bathroom, so you quickly turn your back on him and put more distance between you and him.

When you are called to deliver the ready orders.

You place almost everything on a tray and head towards the table, more confident because Aemond is not with them, although you know he may appear at any moment, so you try to be as quick as possible.

You give their dishes first to the Lannister's, then to Cassandra and finally to Floris, and then tell them that you will bring them their drinks right away.

And just when you come back with the drinks, Aemond also goes to the table almost at the same time as you, so once again, you try to be quick and repeat the same process, first to the Lannister's, then to the Baratheon's and finally to him.

But just as you place his soda in front of him, Floris speaks. Or rather shouts.

"Hey you," she says, annoyed, towards you, "What the hell is this?"

'Uh oh.'

The voice in your head tells you and you watch as she shows you her sushi rolls.

"I told you I wanted sushi without seaweed and look what you brought me."

You frown and despite your nerves, which are on edge, you defend yourself with the nicest tone possible even though you would also like to talk to her the same way she is talking to you.

"Excuse me, but you specifically asked for it with seaweed," you say, remembering.

"Are you deaf? Or are your ears dirty or something? I'm telling you that I asked for it without seaweed."

"Floris," Aemond says next to her, looking at her seriously.

"What?" she says defensively, "It's not my fault she doesn't know how to do her job well."

"I can bring you where I write down the orders to show you where it says you ordered the sushi with seaweed," you suggest.

But the nerves and humiliation is great as everyone at the table is watching you, especially him and some customers from other tables around.

"Well, clearly you wrote wrong so take this away, will you? And bring me my order just like I asked you to," she says looking at you completely annoyed and folding her arms.

"Is there a problem here?"

'Oh, oh, again.'

Mr. Frey appears and you feel like you're going to die. Just as you can already anticipate all the stress and exhaustion you'll have to go through to make up for this.

But you're absolutely sure she ordered that seaweed sushi. You must have figured something like this would happen, though.

"Yes, your incompetent waitress here doesn't know how to write down the orders as we asked."

"But you ordered the sushi with seaweed," you explain, clearly offended by her words.

"Y/N," Mr. Frey's serious, restrained voice and his hand on your shoulder makes you tense up, "Go and bring her her food just as she asked. Now."

Resigned, you are left only to obey and completely embarrassed, you make your way towards her, stepping past Aemond to take the plate.

And once you have it in your hands, just as you take the first step, you clearly see how Floris slyly sticks her foot in you and as if this couldn't get any worse, you fall and the food lands on Cassandra and Cerelle's clothes.

"Oh my God!"

"Oh you idiot, look what you've done!" cries Cerelle in horror, jumping to her feet.

"Can't you do anything right!?"

Worried, embarrassed and nervous you quickly stand up, apologizing, but Mr. Frey immediately comes to your side with restrained fury.

"I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose," you try to defend yourself, "She stuck her foot in me!" you point at Floris.

"Stop embarrassing me and get the hell out of here, Y/N."

You look at him completely shocked, not expecting to hear those words, starting to feel the urge to cry.

"Yes, get out, that I didn't do anything to you," Floris corroborates, "That's how you treat customers here? Without serving them properly and accusing them with lies?"

"Will you stop?" you hear Aemond's voice also with restrained fury.

With your lips trembling, feeling all eyes on you, you hold back the urge to cry and quickly walk away from there, where on the way Alysanne stops you, annoyed and worried, but you tell her not to worry and head for your things, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.

Once you leave the restaurant, the area and Crown's to finally enter Black Waves, you finally allow yourself to cry in freedom.

And when you get home, your uncle and aunt are there and are confused to see you come home so early, so you tell them about what happened.

Crying again from the rage, with all the anger and humiliation coursing through your veins as you tell them that none of what happened was your fault.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry," your aunt embraces you in a warm hug as you let it all out, clinging to her, "Nothing that happened was your fault, sweetheart. Nothing."

And your Uncle Ben is looking upset and thoughtful, unable to believe everything he just heard.

"That fucking ungrateful Frey," he says annoyed, "All of them, rotting in money and having no values, treating the people who do everything for them like that," he points at you, "If I didn't have a job to lose, I'd smash the son of a bitch's face in this instant."

"Ben," your aunt gently reprimands him, still hugging you.

"Look how he's dropped our girl!"

He says incredulously, pointing his hand at you.

"Humiliating her in front of all those people and not giving her the benefit of the doubt to give the reason to all those fucking arrogant rich people who make your life impossible for not being like them."

You sniffle and turn away from your aunt, wiping away your tears and trying to calm yourself.

"It's okay," you say in a broken voice.

"No, it's not okay. Nothing they do in there is okay," your uncle insists.

"I'll just... look for another job," you say, "After all, I couldn't stand to be working at that place anymore. Maybe... this that happened was a good thing so I could find something else."

"No, honey. Having to go through that humiliation was not good," your aunt tells you in a soft tone, "That was very wrong of them and you didn't deserve that."

"Yes but already happened," you say without emotion, "It doesn't matter anymore."

Just then, the door opens and the three of you see Alysanne entering the house, worried.

"What are you doing here?" you ask her instantly confused.

"Did Mr. Frey do something to you too?" her mom asks her.

"No, I quit," she says simply, setting her backpack down.

"What? Why?" you ask her in surprise.

"Why?" she repeats incredulously, as if it wasn't obvious, "You still ask?"

"You didn't have to do that, Anne."

"Of course I did. It was only a matter of time," she says as she approaches you.

"But the money—

"Fuck the money. We'll find another job," she interrupts you then hugs you, "I'm so sorry."

You let out a long breath and hug her back.

"What did Mr. Frey tell you?"

"He was obviously upset," she tells you as she pulls away, "I told him what he did was wrong. That there are cameras and he can see what really happened. But he basically didn't give a shit to give the stupid of Floris the reason to make himself look good to his father."

Uncle Ben let's out a snort.

"Typical."

"Then I told him I was quitting and he kind of got worried, then he tried to convince me to convince you to come back so we could both keep working because we are the only ones who have endured him for so long, but I sent him to go fuck himself as well as him to you, demanded our final payment, he gave it to me with his murderous look on his face and I left."

A silence settles in the living room, then your aunt lets out a small breath.

"Well, at least you won't be working for that horrible man anymore."

"And don't worry," your uncle says, "Both will find another job."

Afterwards, you both go to your room and you take a nap, finally resting properly after so long with no more on your mind that the next day you have to go to the restaurant to work.

Despite what happened, you sleep peacefully and then wake up in the night, where you see Alysanne asleep next to you with her headphones on.

You let out a yawn and stretch, thinking you can go back to sleep, but you turn on your phone screen to check the time, when suddenly, you see Aemond's message notification, taking you by surprise.

You frown and read them from the notification, not wanting to go into the chat directly: "I'm so sorry about what happened.'

'Are you okay?'

'Can we meet?'

A bitter feeling runs through your body and you shake your head.

Of course he would eventually decide to text you out of pity, not really because he wanted to or because it was in his plans. And now you're the one who has no interest in hearing from him.

So you delete his notification messages, pretend he didn't send you anything and lock your screen, settling back to sleep.

"Fucking old man."

"If I'd been there I'd have broken his few remaining teeth."

"Besides, it's not like the food is good. That shrimp soup they make, it tastes like shit."

"And how do you know that?" asks Daniel to Chase confused.

"Cregan once came to his port with a bowl of those when I was working."

"We can cancel him on social media, you know? It's not a bad idea after all."

"Getting cancelled by a bunch of poor Black Waves people isn't a bad idea? Do you think we'll even have relevance against all of Crown's who also have more rich friends and connections all over the country and who knows how far beyond that?"

A brief silence settles in.

"Well, when you put it like that... yeah, it sounds bad. Very bad actually."

"Then I propose we set fire to his restaurant."

"Or we fill it all up with live octopus and crabs."

"Really?"

You look at your friends with an amused smile, and all three of them gesture innocently.

"What?"

"We want to defend your honor."

Sam says to you, draping one of his arms around your shoulders as you all walk together along the shore of the beach.

"You see, if you mess with a poor person, we poor people will attack you back. And Mr. Frey has been deserving it ever since the two of you started working for him."

"You're going to burn down his restaurant?" Alysanne inquires.

"What does it matter?" he shrugs, "That he doesn't have the money to make another one?"

You continue to listen to your friends' jokes, planning a plan worse and worse than the last on how to make Mr. Frey pay, all for the purpose of making you laugh.

For which you couldn't feel more grateful to them as you all spend an afternoon at Sunset's Pier.

Although they did get very upset when Alysanne told them everything that had happened, but the harsh reality is that a bunch of poor people can't do anything to a rich man from Crown's. So all that's left to do is settle for imaginary plans.

"Anyway, let's go surfing?" proposes Daniel.

"Yeah!"

"Hell yeah!"

You and Alysanne exchange a glance.

"Hum... we'll catch up with you later," she says, standing next to you.

"Why? Where are you going?" asks Chase in confusion.

"To find a job," you reply.

The search to find a new job has started exactly two days ago, so the only chance you both have and the best chance is here at the pier, but still nothing, though you're not giving up yet.

"Okay, good luck."

"Come back soon!" exclaims Daniel, trotting out to sea with his surfboard.

"And make sure it's not another dick boss!" exclaims Sam as well, following Daniel.

You watch the three of them with a small smile and walk away from the beach in the direction of the establishments, hoping to get lucky this day.

"Are you going to the party tonight?" asks Alysanne.

"Another one?"

"It's been almost two weeks since the last party here," she tells you incredulously and you let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, you're right."

"So?"

"Where?"

"Crown's, with Cregan."

"Oh no, no, absolutely not," you say quickly, shaking your head.

"Oh Y/N, come on!"

"Are you crazy? How do you think I'm going to stand at Crown's after what happened?" you stare at her incredulously, "Surely everyone already knows, as if it wasn't humiliating enough already."

"They'll all be drinking, having a good time and I highly doubt they'll be talking about or remembering at that point the poor girl who threw food on Cerelle and Cassandra."

"And the poor girl who supposedly took Floris' order wrong," you remind him annoyed.

"Come on!" she squeals, insistent, "You need it. We need to have some fun."

"They will all be there, what if they see me and again something bad happens?"

'Not to mention Aemond will probably be there too.'

Your mind reminds you and it's one more reason not to go after you've been ignoring his messages.

"Please, they're all always on the yachts. They never get off there and they won't see us."

"But they might," you suggest.

"They won't," she tells you with an absurd tone, "They think they're the queens of the city and that's their exclusive area, they won't," she repeats confidently.

"No, I really don't in the mood to go."

"Please, Y/N," she tells you desperately, "If you go with us, I'll wash all your clothes for a week," she proposes.

This inevitably gets your attention and you watch her really interested.

"All of it?"

"All of it," she affirms.

"Two weeks," you change the deal.

"One week," she repeats back to you with a frown.

"Two full weeks or no deal."

"Ugh, don't be like that," she reproaches you.

"Do you want me to go or not?"

"Two and a half weeks," she proposes.

You shake your head, with an amused smile and folding your arms.

"Two full weeks and I won't change my mind."

She rolls her eyes and you hold out your hand.

"Fine," she reluctantly shakes it.

"Fine," you smile victoriously.

That same day, instead of looking for a job, the two of you buy bikini sets for the night with Mr. Frey's final payment.

Alysanne wanted to buy more but you were responsible enough to stop her and yourself as well, since you can't spend all the money until you secure a new job.

Then you go surfing for a while with the boys, hours pass, you go home and in the evening, Cregan comes by both of you in his car, with the guys already in it.

And again, you find yourself walking into Crown's, where you start to reflect and think that this is probably a bad idea.

But everyone is so excited and deep down inside you, after the horrible days you've had, you also want to have fun, de-stress and not worry for a while.

And the funny comments from the guys, that they are spreading the excitement to you and that it feels like any other party, helps.

When you arrive at the party, they have not yet arrived, so you are instantly relieved, although the nervousness is still present. For despite Alysanne's words, your mind keeps going back to what happened at the restaurant, all fresh in your memory.

Fortunately, though, Sam, Chase, Daniel and Cregan decide to spend the party in a more secluded part of the beach, to protect you in case anything happens.

You appreciate that and soon enough the party begins.

It's quiet at first, just everyone talking and laughing with everyone, drinking, dancing, Sam and Daniel trying to distract you and keep your spirits up, telling bad jokes, while Chase talks to Cregan about surfing and the waves he hopes to catch tomorrow.

And of course, Cregan throws in jokes about the party and lets everyone know of more dramas that have been going on lately at Crown's with the rich families and how they came to his and his family's ears.

And of course, they all make jokes and throw curses towards Mr. Frey, not leaving him alone, while Alysanne and you laugh.

Also, Sam does a perfect imitation of the rich girls at Crown's, especially Floris and Cassandra Baratheon, who cry if they don't get what they want and always ask for things in a bad way, so shallow and arrogant.

"Don't you know who my father is?" threatens Sam pretending to be Floris Baratheon with indignation and superiority, placing a hand on his hip and watching everyone with a raised eyebrow.

You and Alysanne laugh, as do the guys, who continue to corroborate Sam's imitation for all they know of everyone's rich attitudes and phrases.

"Hey," your cousin gives you a slight elbow and points at you with her gaze, "I told you."

You follow her gaze and there they are, the Baratheon's and the Lannister's, who just as your cousin had told you, with bottles of wine and champagne, amid laughter and expensive outfits board their luxurious yachts.

Although this catches your attention, without being able to help it, you look for a specific person with silver hair, but there is not a single Targaryen accompanying them.

"We'll be fine," Alysanne tells you, beginning to truly relax.

You let out a long breath and take a long swig from your beer bottle, also definitely starting to relax.

There's no way they can recognize you from the great distance, though you still have to be alert because if one of them decides to come down, which you doubt very much, but it could still happen.

And even though your friends are still partying, you can't help but think of him... Aemond.

Where is he? Why isn't he here? Why didn't he come with Floris? Is he thinking about you too?'

You know you're the one who decided not to answer his messages and you know that's the right decision to make after what happened. But still... that fucking kiss keeps replaying in your mind.

But you also know it's not right. Him and you... together? Deciding to get involved like that?

It's a very bad and dangerous idea in which you could get yourself in serious trouble, and him too, after all. You with all of Crown's and him with his family and the Baratheon's.

So, although it hurts you, this is good, so that no one is harmed in any way. It's best not to see him anymore.

"Hey, smile."

Alysanne's voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you watch as she wants to take a selfie of everyone together, so pretty soon the guys pile up behind you, with Daniel's arm around you hugging you and on Alysanne's account, all smiling, then striking a better pose, then making a funny face.

"I got my eye closed."

" In which one?"

"On the second one."

Then you hear the huge laugh Chase lets out toward Sam.

"You look like the baby from Toy Story three."

The guys do their antics by dancing, playing games of who finishes drinking the bottle the fastest, telling stories, and following the pretty girls around with their eyes. Which makes it all the more enjoyable, except for the last part.

“Hey man,” Daniel says to Cregan, ”When are you going to take us to meet your yacht?”

Cregan looks at him amused.

“My yacht?”

“Yeah, I mean, I was waiting until we were confident enough to be able to tell you.”

“The more subtle one,” Alysanne says.

"We have reasons," Daniel defends himself.

"Yeah because the time you were going to take us on your parents' yacht, the damn yacht was suddenly invisible," Sam backs him up.

"Okay, first of all, that wasn't my fault," Cregan clarifies, "I didn't know my parents were gone on it for the weekend because they didn't tell me either."

"I was totally devastated."

"You stole my illusion, man."

"Okay, you want me to invite you guys?" asks Cregan genuinely curious and unconcerned.

“Dude,” Sam looks at him incredulously, “You've been listening to us talk for months about yachts, champagne bottles and partying,” he lists off with his fingers, ”And you ask us if we want you to invite us?”

“It's not like you've been more direct,” he justifies himself.

“If we've been talking about yachts, champagne bottles and partying,” Daniel repeats now, also listing, “What do we really mean when we have a rich guy in our group of friends?” he asks him, expectantly, crossing his arms.

Cregan is about to speak, hesitant, but Sam speaks first.

“Exactly,” he points to him with his index finger, ‘That our friend Cregan, who has a yacht and bottles of champagne, because no one else of us does,’ he says obviously, ”invited us to have a party, just us.”

“You know how convenient you sound, don't you?” you ask them, taking another sip from your bottle.

“No, it's okay,” Cregan says instantly, “All my life I've known people to be conventional. But you guys aren't.”

“So we'll go to your yacht?” asks Daniel excitedly.

“Yeah, sure,” he says nonchalantly, ”Anytime. Just let me know.”

“It's not like it's that cool, really,” Chase says, unconcerned.

“What did you say?” Cregan gives him the expectant look.

“I've seen it. And I think the Targaryen yacht is bigger.”

Your heart flips slightly at hearing the last name.

“It's bigger than all of those,” Cregan points out those now on the dock.

“Not so cool, still.”

“Oh, okay, all right. Then let's have the party on your yacht,” he tells him condescendingly, “Oh right, you don't have one.”

Everyone starts laughing, you included, as Chase shows him the middle finger.

“I was just kidding.”

“Yeah, me too baby.”

“Hey, come here.”

Sam's approaching voice makes you watch him and he takes you by the hand, wanting to dance with you, so soon everyone starts making fun, while you laugh and Sam tries to lead you to the beat of the music.

And you have a good time, laughing, having fun and drinking, trying to do Sam's impossible but funny dance steps, starting to feel the alcohol starting to take its effect on you.

And everything seems fine until a high-pitched, familiar laugh interrupts you and cuts the mood.

“Well, well, look who we have here.”

'You've got to be kidding me.'

You think, feeling your stomach turn, turning your body to see Floris straight ahead, standing there, accompanied by Cerelle and Tyshara, all with malevolent smiles on their faces, especially Floris. 

And you wonder; in what moment did she come down here? And in what moment did she recognize you?

Alysanne rises from the sand as Floris faces them both with a sharp gaze, sweeping over each one, especially you.

“What are you doing here?” she asks with disdain, “Pretending to be one of us? Really?” 

You feel Alysanne tense beside you, clearly ready to answer, or rather attack. But you hold her arm, trying to keep things from getting out of hand. But the venom in Floris' words grows.

“How funny to see you like this, when in reality you are poor people from Black Waves,” she says with disgust, “Though now I see how you manage to mix among us, bringing with you more people from your dumpster,” she says with disdain, watching with a serious look between Cregan and the guys.

Cregan lets out a long breath, really not wanting to deal with this now, but it seems he has no choice. So he speaks, his voice serious and firm, not caring at all about defending you.

“They are here because I invited them, Floris. And I don't care what you think, nor do the others. Just like I don't care if you don't like the idea, because then you can get the hell out,” he clarifies, “You're not the owner of the beach and you're not the owner of Crown's.”

“You're also no one to be disrespecting us,” Chase tells him, stepping in as well.

Floris looks at him with a raised eyebrow and an offended face.

“And who are you to talk to me like that, you poor shit? Do you even know who I am or who my father is?”

Sam lets out a chuckle, unable to help it, with an obvious look at you, but suddenly Alysanne jumps up, fury in her eyes.

“How dare you!?” she yells at him, with full intent in her posture, ”You think you can come in here and insult my friends!? You think I can't really break your face after what you did!?”

The tension mounts and you quickly stop her, along with Cregan, as Sam, Daniel and Chase step in.

“Look at her, always so wild, all you from Black Waves, wanting to beat people up,” Floris says, wanting to leave them as the bad guys.

“Y/N didn't do anything to you at the restaurant! It was you who accused her of bringing you the wrong order and who made her fall on purpose, humiliating her in front of everyone and you think you don't deserve to be taught a lesson!?”

“You better get the fuck out of your shitty side of town, will you!?”

Floris yells at her too.

“All of you and especially you!” she points at you, “How dare you come here after what happened? You should be ashamed of yourself, wanting to pretend you belong here.”

Cregan walks over to her.

“That was enough. Stop it and leave,” he tells her in his firm but not aggressive voice.

Floris ignores him completely, her eyes glued on Alysanne and you, as if they were an insect she can crush effortlessly.

“You're pathetic. You should get the hell out and not come back before you humiliate yourselves any further. You don't belong at Crown's and you know it. All you are is some ridiculous fucking poor people with miserable lives.”

Floris' words hit you with a force you had not expected. You feel the rage burn inside you, but also the pain of humiliation. You can't escape that feeling of inferiority, of being less and being seen as little, instead of what you are, a human being.

And now you react, turning to her, with restrained fury.

“What did you just say?”

“Hey, no, no,” Sam stops you.

“You think I'm going to let myself be humiliated by you again?”

Floris lets out a laugh.

“I'm humiliating you?” she points out, ”But you're humiliating yourself, coming here.”

“We're not pretending to be like you, Floris. Do you think I would like to be a fucking spoiled brat like you who likes to humiliate others to feel good about herself?” you tell her, furious, ”We would never do that. But you're a liar and cruel, and you know it.”

Floris raises an eyebrow, indifferent. 

“Oh, please. No one's listening to you, you poor thing.”

Cregan again interjects, turning to her.

“That's enough. We're not going to let you bother us anymore.”

Floris barely pays any attention to him. In her mind, these guys, nor you along with Alysanne, have any value. And she finds it an insult that you're here, at Crown's.

“How lovely. You defending all these,” she points at them with disgust, ”But really, Cregan? That's how you choose to spend your time, with Black Waves trash instead of us?”

“I already told you what you think doesn't matter to me.”

Again the tension begins to build, along with the expectation that everything will explode at any moment.

The guys hold Alysanne and you, but more so Alysanne, while Cregan tries to get Floris and all of them to leave and calm everything down, but in vain.

Floris keeps talking, Alysanne's blood boils and suddenly, your cousin throws a cup of beer at all of them, soaking them and insulting them, so everything effectively explodes.

Basically the guys try to stop all of them at the same time, trying to calm the matter down, drawing the attention of the other people on the beach, while Alysanne desperately tries to have Floris' head, deciding not to let her insults and humiliations pass once again.

“That's enough!”

“Calm down, girls!

“Hey, no!”

“Stop it, Floris!”

“Alysanne!”

“Girls!”

They're all in a circle, sticking with each other, trying to avoid hitting each other at all costs.

“Hey, dude! Could you calm down your crazy girlfriend here!?”

“Hey! Floris!”

Your breath catches.

And your heart starts pounding at the sound of that voice.

And just as you look to the other side, where they are, Aemond appears, running towards Floris, his face serious and his eyes fixed on her, with his brother Aegon behind him, fascinated and excited by all the drama and fighting, like many others at the party. 

“Hey!” Aemond holds her firmly, pulling her away from Alysanne, “What the hell is wrong with you?” he inquires serious and tired.

“Let go of me!”

“Doing this again? Have you gone crazy?”

Floris doesn't say anything to him, she just arranges her hair and gives you a murderous look, as well as Alysanne and then, you watch Aemond with your parted lips and he watches you too.

For a moment, everything else seems to fade away, where your mind remembers the kiss, his hands marking your skin, his breath hitching against you, the fireworks and his face close to you. 

But the memory and sensations are only for a second, as both you and he focus on stopping this. Which, you finally succeed.

The last thing you see is Floris being led by her friends towards the yacht, with Aemond and Aegon following, watching him going after her, his posture tense.

When Cregan lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

“It's unbelievable. Her and all those fucking arrogant, thinking they own everything.”

It's obvious that neither he, Alysanne, the boys or you are in the mood to stay.

“Let's go,” Chase says, having no choice.

Alysanne nods, still furious. 

“It's not worth it.”

You press your lips together, still feeling the helplessness coursing through your body.

You watch again where Aemond is going, when suddenly, he turns his head without stopping walking and looks at you, giving you one last look. But you turn around, following your friends, leaving the party along with the lights and music behind.

And as you leave, the sound of the waves seems to envelop you, but the weight of what happened crushes you, reminding you once again that you will never belong in this world.

You know it might be a bad idea to come but... you couldn't help it.

After everything that has happened, more bad things than good, you needed it. Walking onto Crown's beaches, you always feel that change in the air and it feels like a different place. Which is understandable because of the clear difference between Crown's and Black Waves.

But... it's not exactly that. You feel space and time differently, like it's running slower.

And you feel like you're on a distant island because of all the feet of the ravines that surround this section, enveloping you, making the view even better and feeling the tranquility in a better way.

And looking out at the deep ocean, sitting at the end of the pier, rocking your feet gently in the salt water, you wish you could have a place just like it in Black Waves, so you wouldn't have to come here and risk more.

Although you know that if you change places, it won't feel like it's like being in this place.

There is a calmness and a unique essence here, something that only this place seems to have and that is irreplaceable, just as nothing else compares to it. And you know and feel that every time you come here.

So you just have to resign yourself, close your eyes, take a deep breath and try to forget everything that bothers you, repeating in your mind that what happened, already happened.

You can't change it and you can't be hurting yourself by overthinking it all the time.

You fill your lungs with the salty air that envelops you, let the ocean breeze caress you and let the waves crashing against the shore be the only thing that reaches your ears.

You try to think of all the good things that will come next, a stable job, money and the finish line getting shorter and shorter to finally be able to go to college and fight for your dreams, which is the most important thing for you.

So you let all that fill you up and let the place do its job, which is to fill you with peace and tranquility.

When then, the creaking of wood near you catches your attention, interrupting and completely disappearing the whole moment, to quickly turn your head, alert and scared, fearing that it is one of the guards or a member of the Targaryen family.

But strangely you didn't think it might be Aemond. For you see him in surprise, entering the pier, just as surprised to see you here, neither of you expecting that.

And you both somehow just stand there, paralyzed, not knowing what to say or what to do.

It's as if both of you at the same time have memories flooding into your minds, of absolutely everything, the kiss, the restaurant, the party and the looks.

But you're still paralyzed, having no idea how to react.

When you are the first to look away, you press your lips together and swallow hard, nervously, feeling somehow vulnerable and having no idea what to do, as you continue to feel his burning gaze on you.

Then you stand up, shake your feet and put on your sandals, not intending to stay here any longer.

And Aemond seeing that, takes a cautious step towards you, watching you attentively and almost too... hopeful.

"I didn't see you when I was coming."

He tells you in a soft voice, not wanting to scare you or push you away, as you keep your gaze down and hug yourself as you feel a strong breeze with icy wind wrap around you, bristling your skin.

"I didn't hear you coming either," you tell him, somehow staying even.

He watches you silently, looking like he wants to tell you something else, but he thinks his words very carefully before he speaks. You, though, feel the slight tension in the air as the two of you stand here, in each other's presence, not knowing what to do.

'Great, weird.'

You think with some irony and disappointment, taking this as a sign to leave, since it's for the best and because he, like you, needs his peace and quiet.

"But don't worry, I'll leave so you can be alone."

You say to then start walking, passing by one side of him but making sure to keep a huge distance, fully intending to leave, when that exactly makes Aemond react and quickly act.

"Wait," he gently but firmly stops you by the arm.

You feel a strong and unexpected electricity run through your body at the contact, tensing you up and Aemond releases you almost immediately upon sensing this, your body rigid and seeing the surprise in your gaze, really not wanting to pull you away.

And he pulls away from you a little, bringing a hand to the back of his neck, nervous and a little uncomfortable, having no idea how to behave nor finding the right words to speak.

"I-I..." he begins, "I texted you. Multiple times."

You let out a long breath, beginning to feel the nervousness completely envelop you. You have no idea what to say or how to evade the conversation, as he clearly waits for an explanation.

"Um... yeah, I know. I-I'm... sorry, I was busy."

He frowns and watches you more closely.

"Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Yeah, very sure," you try to sound convincing, acting nonchalant.

"Really?" he gently inquires you, having none of it.

And that starts to bother you, so you straighten your back completely and raise your gaze to him, almost looking tired, crossing your arms.

"What's your point?"

"That you didn't really want to talk to me," he answers you honestly, watching you intently and with a soft gaze.

"Look I-I... I don't know, I just... I thought it wouldn't be a good idea."

He frowns again.

"Why not?"

You shake your head, not wanting to have this conversation, because you know it won't get you anywhere.

"Forget it. I should go."

You try to walk, away from him, but he again stops you.

"Wait... please," he tells you insistently, "I just..." he lets out a long sigh, "I just wanted to apologize to you for what happened with Floris. She—

"It's okay," you interrupt him, shaking your head, downplaying it and not seeing the point about talking about it, "It... it doesn't matter anymore, Aemond. And I really should go."

Again you try to leave, to walk away, but he again stops you.

"You have somewhere else to be?"

"And what's that for?"

"I want to talk to you," he tells you bluntly, not wanting you to leave.

And you feel the bitterness run through your whole body, watching him in the same way.

"Now do you want to talk?" you inquire, unable to help yourself.

You had been holding it back too long, especially since he texted you, that it needed to be said and you see the slight surprise appear on his face, clearly not expecting to hear that from you.

And you look at him seriously, daring him to tell you something about it, but he remains silent, having no idea what to say.

And the bitterness inside you intensifies, feeling that really all you're doing is wasting your time. And you don't want to do this anymore.

"Look, it's clear that neither of us expected to see each other tonight..." you say firmly and clearly in your tone of voice, "And the best thing, for both of us, is for me to leave."

Again you try to leave, but eventually Aemond loses it too.

"You're upset with me, is that it?"

He asks you, stepping in front of you, his brow furrowed and his expression slightly confused. It's as if, finally, he's starting to lose patience too.

"Cause I didn't look for you after we kissed?"

You feel your heart start to beat too fast and you watch him with your parted lips for a moment, not expecting him to be so direct in finally speaking the things that have been going on between the two of you.

"I—

"Because to be fair, you didn't look for me either," he reproaches you, not feeling like the one completely to blame for the whole situation.

"I'm not the one with a girlfriend, Aemond," you remind him, firm with your words.

He lets out a long breath, tearing his gaze away from yours, looking around as if that might help him continue the conversation and show him what he has to say, ruffling his hair in frustration.

"Well, yes, I... that's part of why I didn't contact you," he confesses to you, "It wasn't right if I did, nor for her in spite of everything and nor for you."

You press your lips together and lower your gaze for a moment, feeling the icy, salty air caress your face and blow your hair as well.

"Yeah, it wasn't..." you shake your head, "It wasn't a good idea if you did. Certainly what happened was a mistake because of your commitments and responsibilities and..." you nod, "It was for the best."

"A mistake?" he repeats looking at you confused and bewildered.

"I'm just telling you what I see," you explain, serious.

"Do you think that I think that kiss was a mistake?" he asks you incredulously.

"You don't?" you inquire back, "I mean...you and me? A rich guy and a poor girl doing this? Having this... whatever it is?"

You point between him and you with your finger, watching him in confusion, as he watches and listens to you intently, wanting to understand you.

"I could confide things about my life to you and I wanted you to finally express yourself to someone. I didn't see it as such a big deal because of our differences but... this?" you inquire, "Getting involved in this way when you have a girlfriend, risking your relationship and your position with all the people at Crown's? Do you even understand the trouble that will be made if people find out?"

Aemond understands very well everything you are telling him and what you are referring to specifically.

He also thought about it every night since that kiss happened, remembering your closeness, your touch and the sensation. Then reality hit him like a bucket of cold water and snapped him out of his fantasy.

The fantasy that this... it can be. Even he doesn't know how but maybe, just maybe, it can be.

And being here, with you, having you so close, with that kiss replaying in his mind over and over again, he doesn't think straight.

He doesn't think about the consequences, about what could go wrong, about how dangerous it is and he wants to feel it all again, to be close to you, to breathe and feel that sense of freedom he feels only when he's with you.

He knows he shouldn't, he knows what's at stake, that he has all eyes on him but still... he can't help himself. And he only wants to do it because it feels right.

"And you were thinking all this when we kissed?" he asks you in a low, soft tone.

You let out a long breath and lick your lips.

Obviously no, you didn't think about it because you didn't even think or imagine at any point that you would end up making out with Aemond Targaryen himself.

But now that it's happened, it's also a reality check and it only makes you see more at why it shouldn't have happened and why it can't go on.

"No."

"Do you regret it?"

He asks you suddenly and you swallow hard as you watch him nervously, again taking you by surprise by asking that question. But you decide to be honest.

"No."

Then he again comes closer, placing himself in front of you, looking somewhat desperate, as if the idea of you walking away is unbearable to him and he will do everything he can to make you stay, that answer being all he needs to hear.

"I know we're both different," he tells you, his voice now low, as if he's confessing something, "You and I... we don't belong on the same side and that's why I shouldn't... we shouldn't."

He doesn't let go of you and although you could easily pull away, you stay in place, watching and listening to him intently, feeling the tension inevitably grow between the two of you.

"But I... I haven't stopped thinking about you," he tells you and watches you with an overwhelming intensity that captivates and paralyzes you at the same time, "Ever since that kiss... I haven't been able to get you out of my mind."

Your heart pounds in your chest and you say nothing, surprised, disoriented and longing, unconsciously, for that more.

"And another reason of why I didn't contact you was because... what I feel when I'm with you, it's... dangerous."

He confesses to you, his gaze becoming darker, more intense and more honest, as his hand comes up to touch your arm gently, moving closer towards you.

"Because I don't measure the consequences, I don't think straight, and being with you makes me want more, so much more than I should."

His honesty hits you hard, and for a moment, the air between you both seems to grow thicker, more charged with an electricity that is impossible to ignore.

You feel your breath hitch, and though you try to keep your composure, his words disarm you.

"I know it's not a good idea, I know this can bring us a lot of trouble and I know we shouldn't but I've spent my whole life letting my father and almost everyone around me make decisions for me that now... I want to make this decision," he tells you sure of his words.

"Aemond—

"I-I've never done this before," he interrupts you, wanting to make it all clear, "I don't even know what I'm saying exactly. But I want to do it because it feels right and because I feel like it's the right thing to do... for me."

He pauses, but doesn't look away from yours. You can see the internal battle in his eyes, the struggle to maintain control as emotions consume him inside.

And you, you're speechless, not expecting that he was going to tell you any of this.

"And I want you," he makes clear, voice firm but soft.

Those four words float in the air, suspended between the two of you, as you watch him with parted lips, the weight of his statement crashing over you like a wave and you feel the world around you seem to fade away.

You look him straight in the eye, searching for some sign that what he is saying is not a lie, with the slight hope in your gaze.

But there is no doubt in his gaze, only sincerity and you see him as you have seen him before in this place; vulnerable, honest and completely exposed.

Then you feel your own emotions swirl inside you, overwhelming, contradictory, but undeniable. And before you can stop or think, you take a step toward him, closing the distance between the two of you.

"Are you sure?" you ask him in a shaky whisper, because, suddenly, it all seems too much, the words, the emotions, the moment, everything.

He doesn't answer you right away, he shortens the distance between the two of you and his hand goes up to your cheek, caressing your skin with a softness that surprises you and you too raise your hand to caress his skin.

His fingers trace a line from your cheek to your jaw and the warmth of his touch envelops you completely.

His nose touches yours and you are both only inches away from each other, letting the closeness and the feeling envelop you completely along with the magic of the ocean and the shore.

"More than sure. I want you," he repeats, his voice low and soft, honest.

Then he leans his face closer to you, tilts his head and his lips meet yours.

It's as if you've been waiting for it for weeks, replaying the moment and reliving the sensation, which you reciprocate immediately, leaning closer to him if possible.

It's not rushed, nor is it gentle. It's intense, full of what you've both been waiting for.

And definitely the world around you fades away, because there is nothing but the contact between the two of you, the warmth of his lips on yours and the press of his body against yours.

Your arms curl around his neck and you feel him wrap his arms tighter around your waist, clinging to you.

The kiss becomes deeper, more demanding, and you find yourself losing yourself and letting yourself be completely carried away in it.

Everything looks and feels out of control but, at the same time, it feels absolutely right.

And you smile in the middle of the kiss, not wanting to let go of the moment, as you feel his long, pale fingers mark your skin, as you run your hands down his neck and through his hair, gently stirring it.

When you both run out of air and separate a few centimeters, catching your breath, with his forehead touching yours. Then a small smile also appears on his lips and he brushes his nose against yours.

"I have something to show you."

This catches your attention and you watch him through your eyelashes, still smiling softly and putting no distance between his body and yours, still hugging him.

"Hm?" you say slightly confused.

"You'll like it," he says to again leave a kiss on your lips, sounding like a promise.

Curiosity overcomes you and it is he who takes distance again between the two of you, to then entwine his hand with yours and begin to lead you, off the pier.

All the way off the beach you ask him what it's about, but he won't tell you anything about it, just that it's a surprise, which frustrates and confuses you but excites you more.

When you both leave through a main entrance to the beach with a booth and security guard and not jumping over a wall, as you are used to, and then he directs you to a black Jeep.

And you watch in surprise as he pulls some keys out of his front pocket.

"This is your car?" you ask in surprise, unable to help yourself.

"Yes," he observes you with a small smile, "I went to take care of some business at my father's work and on my way back, I didn't want to go home yet nor did I want them to know I was around so I decided to stop here and go to the pier," he explains to you.

You pay attention to him, but your attention is more on the beautiful Jeep he has. And he watches you almost tenderly, watching as you stare fascinated at his car, opening the door for you.

"Get in."

"But where are you taking me?" you ask amused.

"You'll see."

He doesn't give you any details and you enjoy the little ride in his car, so clean, so modern and having that very expensive smell, clearly.

The ride is not long and soon enough, he parks at Crown's pier, a pier that only he has access to and all the people who live on this side, obviously.

A pier where the rich pay to have their yachts or boats cleaned, maintained and cared for. And he clearly has no problem getting in, and then directing you towards a row of huge, expensive and elegant yachts tied up to the dock.

You've never been this close to one before and you have to remember to close your mouth at certain times and remove your fascinated idiot face when Aemond directs you and watches you.

When he stops in front of a huge three-story yacht with terraces, very luxurious and screaming money and power to the owners.

"This is my family's yacht," Aemond says to you, as you stare at the yacht with big bright eyes.

"And we're going up?" you ask him excited, thrilled and surprised.

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah, come on."

You follow him and watch as he strides confidently toward the gangway connecting the dock to the yacht, where you can't help but notice the familiarity with which he moves in this space, as if it were as commonplace to him as walking through his house.

However, for you, this place is a completely different world.

You contemplate the immensity of the yacht in front of you as you walk. And Aemond watches you over his shoulder, noticing your reactions again.

His lips curve into a small smile, and he holds out his hand, inviting you to come up.

You don't hesitate to take his hand, your eyes still watching the yacht, feeling your heart beat faster and faster with excitement with every step you take, because you've never been on something so luxurious before.

And once you set foot on the main deck, everything stretches out to you, with the air seeming to feel different, lighter.

And you stare in amazement at the deck furnished with huge white leather sofas that look very comfortable, as well as glass tables, expensive decorations and exotic plants in designer pots.

Aemond walks around the deck, showing you every corner as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He also shows you a huge dining table and an outdoor bar.

And you follow in his footsteps, feeling like you're in a dream.

"This yacht is mostly used by Aegon to bring his friends, girls, have his parties or when he wants to be alone. Daeron and Helaena also come when they don't want to be at home, sometimes I come with them or I also come when I don't want anyone to bother me," he explains to you as he gives you the tour.

"This isn't the yacht that was at the pier when you caught me, is it?"

"No, that one was smaller and my mom's."

You look at him in surprise.

"How many yachts does your family have, then?"

"Only three," he tells you amused, "My mom's, this one and another one about the same size as this one."

And he says it so simply, as if it's the most normal thing in the world to have three luxurious yachts and as if it's so easy to buy them, which... yes, it is easy, because his family has plenty of money.

"The other one is used more by my dad and when my mom wants to go on little trips, celebrations or things like that, it's on that yacht that we all get together but never on this one."

'I wish I had a lot of money too.'

Your mind tells you, making all your poverty clearer to you.

You listen to everything he tells you, but you're also too focused on absorbing every detail, from the sleek, minimalist design to the breathtaking views of the nighttime ocean stretching out in front of you.

Everything here looks like something out of a glossy magazine, and at times, you find it hard to believe you're really here.

"Come."

He says to you, as he slides the glass doors that take you inside the yacht and you follow him, stepping inside with him behind you.

'God.'

You think, gazing in wonder at all the interior that is most... extravagant.

White walls, white floor, black and gold details decorate the whole place. First is the large living room with white sofas, black furniture, soft carpets and windows big enough to give you an amazing view of the outside.

You can only imagine how beautiful you would see both from the deck side and from in here the whole ocean if the yacht was in motion.

Everything here is spacious, with those expensive decorations, air conditioning and a huge TV that takes up almost an entire wall.

And on the other end, there is a huge kitchen with black cabinets, refrigerator, stove, oven, dishwasher, island and basically equipped with absolutely everything, with nothing missing.

"Wow," you murmur, walking around the kitchen, observing everything.

Aemond doesn't stop watching you, because there's something about your expression, the way you watch everything in wonder and how your smile widens with each new discovery, that makes him smile too.

But you just can't help it. All of it breathtaking, every corner screams richness and exclusivity.

Then he briefly shows you the bathroom and takes you to the second floor, where you climb the stairs all too excitedly, peering in every direction.

"This is so cool," you say with a smile, watching the second floor hallway.

He shows you room after room, which is four in all, where each has its own luxurious bathroom, king-size beds, television and ocean views that look like something out of a dream.

Your mind tries to process all this, but it's as if every time you look around, something new surprises you.

Then he shows you the second-floor terrace, where there are also sofas, glass tables, an open bar, loungers and a hot tub.

"No way," you murmur in amazement.

You approach the edge of the hot tub, touching the water with your fingertips and feel the warmth of the water against your skin.

If Daniel were in this place, he would have passed out. And when you tell him, he definitely won't believe you. Or he'll believe you but he'll be very envious.

"I've always wanted to get on one of these yachts. But for some strange reason, I never thought they'd have hot tubs. I mean, I should have guessed," you tell him with a little smile, "It's great."

Every step you take inside this place makes you feel smaller and, at the same time, more excited. You enter a world to which you have never belonged, but which now opens up to you in the most unexpected way.

And deep down, you feel a strange mix of emotions, excitement to be here, but also a slight regret as you remember that this is not your world, that this is Aemond's life, not yours.

But Aemond doesn't notice any of this. He just keeps watching you, drawing his attention to the way you are amazed by everything.

There is something in your innocent amazement that moves him, something that makes him smile every time your eyes light up at the discovery of something new.

He knows that all this is new to you, and he likes to see you enjoying yourself, exploring this world that, for him, is so familiar but for you is completely unknown.

Then he takes you to the top floor, where there is also a small terrace that allows you to have an incredible view of the whole yacht and the ocean. And also where is the cabin to navigate the yacht.

"And do you know how to navigate this?" you ask him as you watch and walk through everything, looking at the details of the control panel and the helm, curious.

"Of course," he tells you slightly offended, "What's the point of owning a yacht and not knowing how to sail it?"

You can't help but let out a small laugh at the way he says it, almost as if it's a duty for someone like him.

"This is like a house, it already has everything you need and you could basically live here with no problem and without needing to sail."

"Yeah," he says thoughtfully, in agreement, "But the point is to sail it and show it off."

You let out a small laugh.

"Typical of those who live at Crown's."

He watches you with a small smile on his lips, realizing that for you, being here, getting to know his yacht, is enough. But not for him.

"Do you want to go sailing?"

"Now?" you look at him surprised, "In the middle of the night?"

"No, not now."

He answers you in a soft tone, moving closer to you, raising his hand to cup your cheek, watching you attentively and tenderly.

"But someday. Soon," he tells you then.

And you watch him in complete anticipation, leaning into his touch.

"Really?"

"Yes," he tells you softly, "We will."

You smile, excited, thrilled, excited, surprised, incredulous, all of it.

"I'd love to."

The idea of being here, of coming back and sailing the ocean together, seems almost unreal. It's something you never thought you could experience, much less with him. But the illusion settles deep within you.

Your smile widens even more, your eyes shining with excitement as you lean slightly into his touch, wanting to feel more of that warmth he brings you.

He watches you silently for a few moments and leans closer to you, kissing you softly.

His hand on your waist burns your skin and you cling to him completely, enjoying the taste of his lips, the warmth of his body, the way he makes you feel and the way he makes you forget everything and focus only on him.

And in the middle of the kiss, he pulls away just enough to murmur against your lips, his breath mixing with yours.

"We can spend the night here... if you want."

You watch him, somewhere between confusion and surprise.

"Here? Really?"

The idea is exciting, but forbidden, yet more exciting.

And he nods, stroking your cheek with his thumb as he watches you intently and gently, where you watching him back, you notice now that you are this close with him, his real eye and his prostatic eye, being able to see the difference.

But you don't care. He is still beautiful. Intrigue comes over you, though.

"Yes, yes we can. There won't be any problems. No one from my family comes here," he assures you, his tone calm.

"Are you sure? And Aegon?"

Aemond flashes a half-smile, cocking his head slightly to one side.

"I doubt he'll show up. He hasn't in a while.... Besides, if he come, he probably wouldn't even notice we were here."

Your thoughts race at full speed, the thought of staying there, in such a luxurious and private place, just you and Aemond alone, causes you a mixture of nerves and excitement.

You look around once more, feeling the cool evening breeze and the calm sound of the ocean in the distance. Everything seems magical. And you don't want to miss an opportunity like this.

"Okay."

Aemond leans into you again and kisses you more intensely this time. You cling to him, your hands exploring his neck and hair as the kiss grows deeper, more desperate, as if neither of you want it to end.

After a few minutes, when you both need to breathe, Aemond pulls away slightly, his lips barely brushing yours as he murmurs to you in a voice that is barely a whisper.

"Come. I'll show you where I usually sleep."

Without letting go of your hand, Aemond leads you back inside the yacht, down the stairs. The atmosphere inside is warm and welcoming, with dim lights illuminating the way.

You pass through several doors until you finally arrive at the last one, the room he showed you before and which is the largest of them all.

And as you both enter, tension, anticipation and excitement envelop both him and you. Where Aemond wraps his arms around your waist when your back is turned to him and rests his chin on your shoulder.

"Do you like it?" he whispers, his voice deep and calm.

You don't respond right away, as he begins to leave soft, wet kisses on your shoulder, then moves down to your neck.

You close your eyes and tilt your head to the side, giving him more accessibility, feeling the shivers run through your entire body and your breathing heavier.

"Yes," you reply on a shaky sigh.

His large hands caress your waist without ceasing to mark and kiss your skin, only for you to begin to lose patience and turn towards him in his arms, kissing him deeply.

And you feel how the ocean whisper mixes with yours.

general taglist:

@zenka69 @strangersunghoon @deliaseastar @thefireblaze @kythefangirl25 @p45510n4f4shi0n @saturnssrings @bellaisasleep @primroseluna @tinykryptonitewerewolf @barnes70stark @tssf-imagines

[babyseraphim]

1910's music: Edwin Payne style

Hi ya’ll! Friendly music teacher/opera singer here to answer a question that pretty much no one has asked (except me): what music would Edwin have listened to/enjoyed when he was alive?

I’ve separated this into three different genres (classical, jazz, and pop), so the entire thing is pretty long. I've also tried to give references for any additional information provided, but most of it is coming straight from my brain after years of music history classes, so feel free to correct me if I get anything wrong.

Classical Music

So, the first thing to know about me is that I’m a big pianist!Edwin truther, and I'm going to be talking about it a lot in this post. It was extremely common for families (especially wealthy families) to have their children train in some sort of instrument from an early age back then, so learning music was something that Edwin likely would have been forced to do.

There are some classical pieces that I have already heard mention of amongst the fandom, so I will stick them in the 'honorable mentions' section, but I want to feature some music that I haven't seen mentioned in conjunction with Edwin's character yet. 1. Erik Satie's Trios Gnosiennes (1893)

So, I've always associated the first three Gnosiennes with Edwin not only because they're so hauntingly beautiful, but also because they're rhythmically very different than a lot of other classical music of his time. The Gnosiennes are largely played in 'free time' (with no time signatures or bar lines), which is a bit unusual for the genre (though modern classical music has a lot more of it). Satie's music really pulled away from a lot of musical customs, spurning traditional forms and tonal structures in favor of more creative options, and I think Edwin would have really enjoyed it.

Edwin's possible interest in breaking musical customs will come back a lot throughout this post, but given that he is often characterized as going against the social grain (whether he was trying to or not), I think he really would have enjoyed Satie's works as a whole. However, Trios Gnosiennes just really speak to me for his character.

2. Igor Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring (premiered in 1913)

The Rite of Spring was a Russian ballet that Stravinsky was commissioned to write for the Ballet Russes company. The work was known for its dissonance and barbarity, and the dancing was described as 'jerky' and 'hedonistic'.

Now, do I think that Edwin would have particularly enjoyed the sound of the the Rite of Spring? Maybe not, but I imagine he likely would have respected its departure from the musical decorum of his time (the piece later went on to be considered one of the the earliest examples of modernism in music). The first public showing of The Rite of Spring caused the theater to break out into a riot partially due to the fact that they thought the music/dancing was a work of blasphemy, and I just think Edwin would have found that hilarious.

3. Gaetano Donizetti's Lucia di Lammermoor (1835), particularly Spargi d'amaro pianto (the famous 'mad scene' aria)

I don't think Edwin would have been a fan of opera as a whole, but I do think that this work's entertaining twists, literary origins, and technically challenging composition might have caught his eye (I even went so far as to sing through this aria a few nights ago because I was curious, and yeah, its really fucking hard).

Lucia di Lammermoor is a tragic opera based on the 1819 novel The Bride of Lammermoor by Walter Scott, which was based on the real life story of a woman named Janet Dalrymple. Lucia was performed at the Met nearly every season from 1903-1972, and I imagine that if it was doing well in America, it must have been doing numbers in Europe.

Honorable Mentions - Claude Debussy's Clair de Lune and Deux Arabesques - Frédéric Chopin's Noctures (particularly Op. 9, No. 1) and Études (particularly Op. 25, No. 11) - Erik Satie's Trios Gymonepdies

Jazz Music

So, this is where my pianist!Edwin headcanon starts to diverge from the pretty much all of the other music-related headcanons I've seen.

Technically speaking, 'jazz' as we know it didn't really exist when Edwin was alive; he died literally one the cusp of the the Golden Age of Jazz, which is a huge fucking bummer. Jass (as it would've have been referred to in the 1910's) mostly consisted of ragtime and early blues, and was considered to be a 'fringe' style of music (pretty much entirely due to racism). As far as acceptability went, being a teenager with a love for 'jass' in the 1910's would have been the social equivalent of being a teenager with a love for ska or punk music in the 80's (the parallels!!!)

I think its pretty well argued within the fandom that Edwin is a bit rebellious when it come to authority and societal standards, and even though I think he was probably less of a little shit while he was alive, there's no way he was just totally fine with living inside the lines. I posit that, as a rebellion, he would have spurned classical music and became a ragtime pianist (which was one of the main precursors to jazz as we know it today). I actually wrote a fic about this way back when I first joined the fandom, for anyone who's interested!

1. Scott Joplin's Sugar Cane Rag (1908), Fig Leaf Rag (1908), and Paragon Rag (1909)

Scott Joplin (the King of Ragtime) was the most famous ragtime pianist of all time, and one of the driving forces behind creating the jazz genre as we know it. I guarantee that you guys have heard his most famous song, The Entertainer, at least once, and have probably heard his Maple Leaf Rag as well. If Edwin was into ragtime, then its a sure thing that he would have been a big fan of Scott Joplin's rags. I picked the three that I thought suited him best.

2. James Scott's Frog Legs Rag (1906) and Sunburst Rag (1909)

James Scott was also a famous American ragtime composer, and both of the listed songs would have been released when Edwin was pretty young. He probably wouldn't have been old enough to play them for a few years, depending on his training, but thinking of a little 12 year old Edwin learning to play these (as well as Scott Joplin's rags) in his free time just fucking tickles me. I love it so much.

3. Davy Peyton and Spencer Williams' I Ain't Got Nobody, recorded by Marion Harris in 1916

I Ain't Got Nobody was an early jazz standard from 1915 that eventually developed into a multi-genre standard (meaning that it was considered a standard for multiple genres, ranging from jazz to pop to country). I don't have a lot of reasoning for this one other that I think that Edwin would have just really liked Marion Harris' voice.

Honorable Mentions - Euday L. Bowman's Twelfth Street Rag (aka the Spongebob song) - Artie Matthews' Weary Blues

Pop Music

So, a disclaimer here. My music degree required me to take jazz and classical music history classes, which did not cover pop music of the 1910's, so I have fewer historical insights to offer about this genre. However, whenever I think about these songs, I always picture Edwin listening to them through a phonograph while doing homework on his bed, like a teenage girl listening to Sabrina Carpenter or Chappell Roan while studying (I know that's silly, but I think its just such a fun visual). 1. Leo Friedman's Let Me Call You Sweetheart, recorded by the Arthur Clough in 1910

Let Me Call You Sweetheart was one of the highest charting songs throughout the early 1910's, and the most popular version was recorded by a group called the Peerless Quartet. Edwin doesn't really strike me as a quartet enjoyer, though, and this version by Arthur Clough was released the same year. I think he would have enjoyed the tonal quality of Clough's voice much more.

2. Grace Le Boy's The Good Ship Mary Anne, recorded by Nora Bayes in 1914

Nora Bayes was a very famous vaudeville performer of the 1920's, and lot of her biggest hits were recorded shortly after Edwin died (like, literally 1917-1925). I wrote a snippet for a fic that got left on the cutting room floor a while back about the song itself providing a positive association with the term 'Mary Anne', and I still stick by that. In this song, the name 'Mary Anne' only refers to a ship.

3. Irving Berlin's Alexander's Ragtime Band, recorded by Arthur Collins and Byron G. Harlan in 1911

So, this song could technically go under the jazz section, but I'm going to put it here, and I'll explain why. Jazz is an art from that was created and popularized by black musicians, which is why it was seen as such an undesirable art form for such a long time. People liked the music, but they didn't like that it was made by black artists. Alexander's Ragtime Band originated in Tin Pan Alley and was one of the top charting songs for much of 1911 (first in America, then overseas), but it was created by a white artist that was simply 'jumping a trend'. Strictly speaking, genre-wise, its not even a ragtime song—it's a march. It's just about ragtime.

I honestly don't really even like this song that much, and I'm not sure Edwin would have very strong feelings about it either. However, it was an extremely pivotal song for the time period, and likely would have been inescapable (or as inescapable as music could be back in the 1910's, given that music required either records or live performances). Think of it as the equivalent of a pop song that you could really do without, but its so popular that it keeps winning awards and playing in every Forever 21 and H&M within a ten mile radius.

Honorable Mentions - Gus Edwards' By the Light of the Silvery Moon, recorded by Ada Jones - Percy Wenrich's Moonlight Bay, recorded by Dolly Connolly

~~~~

I hope you guys enjoyed this! I also made a playlist, if you'd like to take a look (I couldn't find all the songs, and not all of them are time period accurate, but I tried my best).

If ya'll liked this, I might make one for Charles and dive into ska and Rude Boy culture a little bit. Feel free to send me any questions or ideas you have about all this stuff, too! I love talking about it.

For the people who asked to be tagged: @likemmmcookies @edwinspaynes @asnottoldbyginger @rexrevri

@l-nightmare @ricebees @aroacespacerock @haledamage

(plus i'm tagging you, @laiqualaurelote, because I feel you would appreciate this)

[sugdenlovesdingle]

A different first meeting AU inspired by Blink182 - The Rock Show because I think Tommy is a rocker (no pun intended)

I'll post to AO3 when I've had some sleep.

🎵 fell in love with the boy at the rock show🎵

---

It wasn't his usual hang out, but after his break up with Natalia, Buck was desperate to surround himself with as much life as possible.

Some hole in the wall bar advertising live music, outside the 118's jurisdiction, seemed the perfect place to do it.

And also to forget he was currently the only single member of the 118 A shift.

The music was decent, the drinks not too expensive, and he liked the general vibe in the place. Even if he didn't recognise the majority of the songs the band was playing.

"Haven't seen you here before." someone said in his ear and he turned around.

The guy was gorgeous. Bright blue eyes and cheekbones that could cut diamonds.

"Oh uh... yeah... I mean... no, you haven't. I just wanted a change of scenery, I guess."

"Yeah? And how is that working out for you?" the guy asked, sitting down on the barstool next to Buck.

"Not too bad." he replied. "I think I like it here."

"That's good to hear. It would be a shame if we'd never see you again." the guy smiled and Buck was almost mesmerised by the way his eyes crinkled when he did. "Do you want another?" he nodded at the almost empty glass in front of him.

"Sure."

The guy got up and rounded the bar, grabbing two bottles of beer from the fridge.

"Is this your bar or something?"

"It might as well be with the amount of time he spends here." a woman of around their age said, as she walked back behind the bar carrying a serving tray with empty glasses.

"I keep telling you Gina, you should let me buy into this place. Tommy and Gina. Living on a prayer."

"Why does your name get to go first if its my bar?" the woman asked, hand on her hip.

"Because that's how the song goes. Take it up with Jon if you don't like it." he told her and laughed when she rolled her eyes at him.

"Get back to your side of the bar, you menace."

The guy, Tommy apparently, laughed again and went back to his seat next to Buck.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"He wishes! I'm a catch!" Gina said while preparing a cocktail.

"Sure you are. If I was into women I would have made a move on you years ago." Tommy told her, looking at Buck from the corner of his eye to gauge his reaction.

"If I was into men, I might have appreciated that."

"She loves me really." Tommy told Buck. "Has done since we were kids."

"He was the new kid in the neighbourhood and my mother made me go say hi and play with him. Haven't been able to get rid of him since." Gina commented, and walked away with the cocktail.

Tommy laughed and took a swig of his beer.

"So now you know my name and how my best friend was forced to befriend me... but I don't know anything about you... yet."

"Well... what do you want to know?" Buck asked, trying to tear his eyes away from Tommy's lips when he took another swig.

"Everything." Tommy replied. "But let's start with your name."

"I'm B- my name's Evan." Buck told him, holding out his hand.

Tommy raised an eyebrow at the stumble but didn't mention it.

"Nice to meet you Evan."

They talked for a while. Laughing about everything and nothing, with Tommy getting mock offended when Buck admitted he didn't know the song Tommy insisted was one of his favourites and not many of the others either.

"Hey I spent most of my twenties travelling!" Buck laughed, defending himself. He liked talking to Tommy. He was fun and friendly, and definitely easy on the eye.

Objectively speaking of course. He'd always been able to appreciate a hot guy when he saw one. Just like he'd look at hot women. It meant nothing.

"And you didn't listen to music on your travels?" Tommy asked incredulously.

"I did... but I didn't pay much attention to it I guess" Buck shrugged, taking a swing of his drink. He hadn't really kept track of how many he'd had but he was starting to feel the buzz. "My sister's..." he shook his head trying to think of a word to describe Chim's relation to him and Maddie. "My brother in law..." He settled on. "He's this movie buff and he's always rolling his eyes at me when I don't get his references."

"Not a movie guy either?"

"Not really. I get distracted. I prefer documentaries. I like learning new things." Buck explained and took a good look at Tommy, taking in the amused look on his face. "Let me guess... you're a movie buff too?"

"I like the escapism, sue me." Tommy replied. "But I'm happy to teach you all about the classics. I've been told I'm a good teacher." He smiled and leaned a little closer, and for a minute Buck thought he was about to kiss him.

And how much he wouldn't mind that. At all.

"Thomas, get your ass up here and make yourself useful, man!" the singer from the band that had been playing all night suddenly called out.

And suddenly the moment was gone. Tommy laughed, leaned back, quickly finished his beer, and got up.

"Duty calls... are you sticking around, Evan?"

"Uh y-yeah, sure."

"Great." Tommy said happily and squeezed his shoulder in passing, letting his hand linger just a fraction too long.

He walked up to the stage and someone handed him a guitar.

As the band started playing, Buck recognised the song as one of Tommy's favourites he'd pointed out to him earlier, and couldn't help but stare at the man.

He was laughing with the others and making playing the instrument look effortless.

He was confident. Interesting.

The band played a few songs before Tommy handed the guitar back to a woman Buck hadn't noticed before and he stepped off the stage again.

Buck made his way over, suddenly eager to talk to him before anyone else would have a chance to.

"Hey!" Tommy greeted him and the crinkly smile was back. "Glad you stayed."

"Y-yeah me t-too..." Buck stammered, his brain somewhat disconnected from his mouth. "S-so... you play guitar?"

"Bass actually." Tommy corrected him. "Everyone knows the bass is the most important instrument in a band." he grinned. "I've been playing since I was a teenager and I play with these guys sometimes when I'm around."

"Yeah? You sounded pretty good. You made it look so easy. I wish I could play."

"I could teach you." Tommy offered without missing a beat.

"Yeah? Is that before or after you teach me about classic movies I need to watch?" Buck tilted his head and smiled as he stepped closer to Tommy, only vaguely aware he was doing it.

Tommy glanced down at his lips.

"No reason we can't do both."

Suddenly there were two fingers under Buck's chin, tilting his face up and Tommy's lips on his for the softest first kiss he'd ever had.

It was over before Buck's brain had really caught up with what was happening and he just stared at Tommy with a dazed and confused look on his face.

"Sorry I - " Tommy started but Buck cut him off, putting a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close and kissing him until neither of them could remember their own name.

~ A few days later ~

"There he is, Tommy Kinard, the man of the hour. Long time no see. " Chim said, pulling the guy that had just walked up to them in for a quick hug.

Buck couldn't get a good look at him from where he was standing. The guy was just muscles under a straining blue flight suit and slightly messy brown hair, until Chim stepped away and Buck choked on air.

Chim's buddy was the Tommy from the bar. The bassist who had turned his world upside down with two fingers under his chin in a dark corner of a bar he'd ended up in by chance.

"Let me introduce you to these two knuckleheads. This is Buck and Eddie." Chim gestured at them. "Guys this is Tommy, he used to be at the 118 when you two were just a twinkle in Bobby's eye."

Eddie stepped forward first and shook Tommy's hand.

"Eddie Diaz, thanks for helping us out."

"Sure thing. If Howie calls I answer. I owe him my life."

Eddie nodded and stepped back and gave Buck an expectant look.

"Oh. Right. Yes." Buck stammered and walked up to Tommy holding out his hand. "I'm Evan... E-Evan Buckley."

Tommy smiled as he shook his hand and Buck's knees turned to jello. Again.

"Nice to meet you Evan."

[jayflrt]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 15. ugly truths

YOUR CHILDHOOD DREAM WAS TO MARRY PARK SUNGHOON.

Even before you developed a genuine crush on him, you fantasized about marrying Sunghoon at a young age. Your parents always fawned over the young boy's appearance, and they would constantly pester you about how they wanted a handsome son-in-law like Sunghoon. You would brush their comments off back then, but a small stir in your chest dared to daydream about how wonderful of a boyfriend your best friend would be.

When he asked you out, you thought you were in the clouds. It must have been one of the best things that happened to you because you were certain that Sunghoon would meet some drop-dead gorgeous model after he was signed under Prada. You hardly entertained any talks of dating him before because you were so scared that something would burst the swell of hope in your chest.

Now that you tasted the reality of being Sunghoon's girlfriend, it was awfully bitter.

You knew that there were several consequences going into this decision; not only were your parents going to be upset, but you were possibly ruining years of friendship with both Sunghoon and Heeseung with this decision. Although you cared about the two boys deeply, you were so tired of feeling drained by your own relationship.

Plus, Heeseung had been acting weird, too. You weren't convinced as of late that he had purely platonic intentions, but it made your stomach turn every time you pondered on it for longer than a few seconds.

You knew what you were getting into. Sunghoon was so entangled and twisted up in your life that you couldn't see any comfortable way out of this relationship. You would no longer be able to listen to a Bruno Mars song without thinking about how he'd blast the music in his car and sing along with you; you would no longer be able to wake up in the morning and shake off the ceaseless anticipation of a good morning text from him; you would no longer be able to even reach for his hand under the table to give it a comforting squeeze.

After this, you wouldn't have to worry about checking menus to make sure your boyfriend liked the food at the restaurant you wanted to go to, or wait for him to show up to every date you planned, or sulk around after he shot down any couple activities you proposed.

You'd be free.

You wondered if this was going to be the last time you'd spend in Sunghoon's apartment. As your finger ran over the embroidery on one of his throw pillows, you noticed that your boyfriend was tapping his foot nervously.

He was the first to speak. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

His words were like a jab to your gut, making tears pool at the corners of your eyes before you turned to blink them away. You dated him for three years just for everything to end like this. Yet, you weren't sure he could say anything to salvage your relationship; you were tired of trying to reach out to someone who wouldn't even hold out his arm.

"Yeah," you answered quietly. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Hoon. It's been so hard."

His foot started tapping faster. You felt the knot in your chest tighten.

"Okay," he mumbled. "Then... that's that, I guess."

"Seriously? That's all you can say?"

"I can't stop you from doing what you want."

"No, but you could ask," you replied, incredulity thick in your voice. "You seriously don't even wanna know why I'm trying to end things?"

"I know why you're breaking up with me," he said, raising his voice over yours. "I haven't been putting aside time for y—"

"It's not just that!"

Sunghoon immediately fell silent, and, for a few moments, the only sounds in his living room were your shallow breaths. As much as you wanted to stand up and start yelling at him, you couldn't bring yourself to be too harsh when you noticed his repetitive tapping and fidgeting.

"The night you came over after Yuna went crazy on live," you started. "I want you to be transparent with me. Was all of that just so you could tell me to stop hanging out with her?"

His lips pressed into a thin line before he answered, "Not completely."

"But you still came over because of that?"

"Yeah."

Of course, that was the answer you expected.

Still, you didn't know the full weight of the truth would shatter you into pieces all over again.

Sort of lost and disconnected, you nodded. "Okay."

Sunghoon let his head hang. You weren't sure how many minutes had passed, but he just stared straight down at the floor while his knee bounced over and over again.

Your boyfriend, whom you had trusted and given all your love to, had just admitted to using your body for his own personal gain.

And all you could say was okay.

"Sungjin found out about Yuna's video," he tried. "I left early that morning because he wanted me to defend you and Heeseung to the Order, or he'd tell Dad. I thought I was doing the right thing."

You could only stare back at him wordlessly.

"I'm sorry," Sunghoon mumbled, and it sounded distorted in your ears, like he had been a broken record droning on and you had just now realized it, but he didn't dare make eye contact with you. "I'm so sorry, Y/N."

He finally raised his head to look at you. The maddened, agonized look in his eyes made your heart twist painfully in your chest.

"Please say something," he begged.

"I just don't really know what to say."

His voice was more fragile, more broken when he said, "I don't wanna—I can't lose you."

"I think you already have."

Although there was little venom behind your words, it appeared to sting Sunghoon all the same.

"I'll tell you everything," he continued with sickening sincerity that made your ears hurt and your head spin.

Why now? Why couldn't he say all of this before? You weren't sure if it was meant to sway you in his favor, but it only made you feel more and more dreadful. You had been begging to listen to him this whole time, but he shut you out until he was about to lose you.

But this was what you came here to do—to talk to him. It wouldn't have been fair if you got your two cents out and left him in the dust. Either way, you wanted everything to come to light, anyway, so you were going to have to let him speak eventually.

"Okay," you agreed, "but I want everything you didn't tell me."

He swallowed thickly and began, "You know how my dad and brother are... all the back-and-forth over who gets Park Pharmaceuticals. Well, now that Sunjin's cleaned up his act, apparently Dad promised it to him, even though I've been preparing to inherit the company my whole life. Everything he's made me do has been for Park Pharmaceuticals, and he just took it all away from me like it's nothing.

"I mean, I've volunteered and done countless internships to prove that I have what it takes; I golf every weekend with company executives or people from the Order; I'm signed under Prada and Chopard; I attend those stupid socials every other day on top of keeping up with coursework for two majors; I know Park Pharmaceuticals like it's on the back of my hand because I've studied the organization inside-and-out and spent months shadowing at the company; I've been slogging day and night to become the man my brother failed to be—the man my father wants me to be—and I still lost to Sungjin. Nothing I do is enough, Y/N—nothing.

"My family keeps expecting me to become someone important, but they're also the ones holding me back. You're the only one who makes me feel like there's a meaning to all of this."

You sucked in a sharp breath, letting his words sink in deep until your bones felt cold and hollow. "You can't say I'm all you have after you pushed me away countless times, Sunghoon," you started. "I really wish you told me all this when I'd beg you to let me help."

"I know," he said in a soft voice, head dipped low again. "I'm sorry. I thought I was protecting you from my dad."

"Your dad? Why would I need protection from your dad?"

Sunghoon hesitated before he spoke, "He... didn't interfere with our relationship because he was banking on us getting married."

"So?" Noticing the guilty look drawn across his features, you prepared yourself for an incoming blow. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

A mumble. Eyes that refused to meet yours. It was clear as day that he was hiding something.

"What is it?" you repeated sharply.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"If it concerns me, then I'd like to hear it."

His chest swelled from the deep breath he took. "He wanted us to get married... so that Park Pharmaceuticals could acquire your father's hospital chain."

You let it echo in your head once more, and the words swam.

If you thought this conversation was nauseating before, now it was so gut-churning that you could hardly tell if the Earth was spinning at its regular speed. You felt like you had been tugged from right behind your navel and dunked into icy water.

Someone like you, with your family's background, should have expected an outcome like this.

But you never thought Park Sunghoon would be the one to drive the knife into your back.

There was a loud ringing in your head, and you weren't exactly certain if the world was supposed to be swaying around you, but you screwed your eyes shut and asked, "Why Mercy Health? Why would a pharmaceutical company want to acquire a hospital?"

"It's 'cause medical manufacturers pay hospitals a lot of money," he explained, although he was mumbling again and it was getting on your nerves. "I guess Dad's plan is that a joint operation would make more money for both of us."

"A merger between two pharmaceutical corporations would make more sense."

"Dad's always wanted to be a revolutionary. Sales have been flatlining for pharmaceutical giants these days, so that's why he planned for something bigger. Theoretically, it's a smart plan, it's just..."

You scoffed. "You're defending him."

"I'm not—"

"You're sitting there and justifying your dad's actions as if this whole plan doesn't depend on you manipulating me!" You stood up and wedged your Dior clutch under your arm. "You didn't even think to tell me any of this before we started dating, and"—your eyes started watering and your voice was thick with emotion—"you were gonna marry me just for my family's hospital?"

"I never agreed with what my dad was doing, Y/N," he said firmly. "I never wanted you to get involved with him, so I kept it hidden from you, but my feelings for you had nothing to do with the acquisition. I'd never take Mercy Health from you."

"You should've told me before you asked me out!"

"I... thought I was doing the right thing," he replied wearily. "I didn't think it would come to this. I'm sorry."

Anger was rising in your chest. At this point, you didn't even care what you were spitting out at him because you were so infuriated.

"This is exactly your problem," you said, cold as ice, "you think you have a handle on everything, but if you were anyone but Park Sunghoon, everyone would be sick of you by now. You constantly put your company over everyone who actually cares about you. I get that you've worked your whole life for this, but there are people out there who've worked harder than you ever have, and they'll never get the opportunities that you get handed to you."

Judging by the way Sunghoon stiffened and his jaw clenched, you were sure your words had gotten to him—struck him right in his heart.

"I never once said I wasn't privileged," he muttered darkly, standing up to tower over you, "and I wouldn't mention privilege either, if I were you. We're birds of the same feather in that sense."

"I can talk about privilege all I want. You're sitting here complaining about being entitled to inherit an entire company while there are people who can only dream of that opportunity. Heeseung—"

"Don't lash out at me just because you're not motivated enough to inherit Mercy Health," he fired back. "I'm privileged, yes, but I did everything that's been expected of me since I was born. This is what I've been brought up my whole life for. Just because you're terrified of what's expected of you doesn't mean I don't deserve what I've worked for."

Motivated enough. You felt your whole body on edge at his words. How could he bring up your insecurities and anxieties over your future just to argue his point? You remembered the countless nights of you laying in Sunghoon's arms and telling him you were worried that owning Mercy Health wasn't what you wanted for your life. Worried that you could've been doing something you actually loved if you weren't pushed into a career path because of your status.

"This is the real world, Y/N," Sunghoon continued. "Maybe it's not fair that we were set for the rest of our lives as soon as we were born, but this is who we are, and you need to accept that. Face it: I'm probably the only person you're gonna fall in love with that won't have an inferiority complex around you. You're not innocent either, so don't look down on me for my father's actions as if you don't form transactional friendships yourself."

"What? I don't—"

"I remember your notebook very well," he cut you off.

Your blood ran cold.

He continued, "You can talk about our power and privilege, but don't you dare use Heeseung against me when you were the one writing about how 'expendable' he was."

You stiffened. "That—that was a really long time ago. I didn't even believe what I was writing."

"Yeah? Is it 'cause he's rich now? Now he has some worth that makes him good enough for your little circle?"

"You know that I don't think that way anymore!"

"Is that so?" But it didn't sound like a question; Sunghoon wore an impassive look on his face as his eyes bored into yours. "So you're telling me you don't constantly update that little notebook about whose family did what and who you need to get closer to?"

Years ago, back when you were a child, your father handed you a notebook with several pages of information on the children of his business partners and other wealthy families. You were instructed to either get close to certain people or stay away from others. He would draw diagrams for you, essentially ranking who was of importance and who wasn't. Naturally, as you kept having to use and update it, you created your own notes and decided for yourself who you would keep in your circle.

It was maybe a few years ago when the sight of that notebook made you feel sick. You had been categorizing everyone in your life unknowingly without realizing how messed up it was.

Sunghoon naturally was ranked high, but you were already close with him, so your father wasn't too strict about who else you got close to. That was why Heeseung was able to wriggle his way into your friend group, and although you truly valued him, you never said anything when your father had you put him down as expendable in your notebook.

And, although you deeply regretted it, the mindset of collecting information on the people around you had already been engrained into your mentality. Keeping tabs on everyone around you came far too naturally to you.

You supposed that was why you had so many barriers up in your friendships. You always held your friend group at arm's length because of the reputations you all had to uphold. Sunghoon and Heeseung were the only ones you could be yourself around, but that was before your love lives got so complicated.

But the matter at hand was breaking up with Sunghoon. After everything, you were just too exhausted and drained for more fighting.

"Heeseung may have forgiven you for that notebook," Sunghoon pressed on, "but I won't forget how anxious you made me feel back then." All I could think about was if you "

"I know it was fucked up and I'm sorry," you said, "but I seriously don't think of Heeseung—or anyone—like that. He's always been one of my best friends."

Sunghoon's anger seemed to subside, settling back under the sand. He sat back down on the couch with thinly-veiled sadness weighing him down, and he placed his elbows on his knees.

"I'm gonna leave now," you said, "unless you have anything else you wanna say."

"Don't leave yet." He was looking at the floor again. "I'll call you an Uber."

"It's a five minute walk."

"It's late; I don't care."

You sighed and went along with his request, watching as he booked the ride on his app in silence. After momentary confusion dawned on his face, Sunghoon stood up again and walked back over to pull you into a tight embrace.

After everything that he said, you were so certain that you didn't even want to look him in the eye. After feeling his arms around you, though, for what could be the last time as a couple, you ended up wrapping your arms around him and burying your face into his chest. A couple tears fell from your eyes and lingered on the fabric of his sweater.

"I'm sorry I wasn't a better boyfriend," he murmured into your hair. "I don't think our parents are gonna take this well."

You sniffled. "They won't. I don't think I'm gonna tell them yet."

"Do you think we can still be friends?"

You chewed on the idea for a moment. It was the rising hope in Sunghoon's voice that made you feel almost sorry for him.

"Not right now," you ended up saying. "We'll have to once we're in the Order, but I need some time for myself now."

"Okay."

More tears slipped down your cheeks. It was strange but you already missed him, even though you were still holding onto him. Maybe it was because once your ride was here, you knew that would be the last time you would be holding onto Park Sunghoon like this.

Neither of you said anything and just held each other tightly, hands nearly trembling in fear of letting go for the last time. When Sunghoon's phone buzzed, the both of you reluctantly separated and peered at his screen.

The Uber (which he paid a ridiculous amount for) was parked outside.

"So this is it," he said.

"This is it."

Without even thinking, you two gravitated toward each other with ease. Sunghoon held your face as if it were glass while you drew him in for a kiss with your arms wrapped around his neck. You pulled away before either of you could get carried away and gave him a sad smile.

"I'll see you later, Hoon," you said.

With longing etched deep in his eyes, Sunghoon murmured, "See you."

You felt numb during your short ride home, hardly keeping conversation with the driver. Everything that happened only sank in hours later, so you drew a hot bath and cried until you couldn't cry anymore.

prev | masterlist | next

SUMMARY ▸ private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

TAG LIST ▸ @zdgx1 @smouches @heesdazed @teawithbucky @leep0ems @peachpie4you @niniissus @kgneptun @jaeyunluvr @hooniesuniverse @zerasari @enhalov @sophiko22 @iselltulips @hoondiors @baekhyunstruly @jays-property @woninluv @heerinnie @fakeuwus @yizhoutv @en-happiness @theothernads @y4wnjunz @dammit-jjk @en-happiness @mari-oclock @enhypens-baby @soonyoungblr @jakeslvt @taetaenic @jebetwo @fairysungx @hsgwrld @shmooooo @ineedsomezzz @mrowwww @enha-stars @isawritesss @seongclb @lockburn-castle @alyssajavenss @enczen @calumsfringe @w3bqrl @luvyev @uhsakusa @luvnicho @wildflowermooon

[cityofmeliora]

kinda late but here is the Terzo childhood headcanons AKA new yorker Terzo post. for @plaquerat <3

ok so. i don't really have a solid interpretation of the lore, and my headcanons aren't very detailed. i'm open to floating a lot of different ideas. here are some that i like:

i've liked the idea that Terzo was primarily raised by his mother ever since i first saw the interview where TF (as nameless ghoul) suggests Terzo may be nicer than Secondo because "he seems to have, i dont know, a kinder mother?" and then i found the official instagram post mentioning Terzo's mother attending his concert in New York, and i was like 'oh! maybe she lives there. maybe Terzo used to live there with her.' it got me thinking...

Terzo was born in california and then moved to new york with his mom after she and Nihil split.

seeing the skyscrapers in new york for the first time was a really formative experience for him. that sense of awe he felt eventually inspired his interest in art deco and futurist art. new york became the base for his imaginary city of Meliora. (this is partly inspired by my own experience as a native californian because we don't really have tall buildings in california and i FREAKED OUT when i visited new york and chicago and saw REAL tall buildings.)

Terzo's mother was an artist and he spent a lot of time in the studio with her and her artist friends. their apartment walls were covered with Terzo's own art.

art and music and culture have always been at the center of Terzo's life. he and his mom would always be listening to music or viewing art galleries or watching movies together. i think Terzo's dynamic with his mother was very much like this anecdote from Carly Rae Jepsen:

My mom and I would sit and meticulously go through Leonard Cohen and Joni Mitchell lyrics together. Even from a young age I remember her being like, “I’m playing this Leonard Cohen song called ‘Famous Blue Raincoat,’ and when it’s done I want you to tell me what’s going on in it.” She would give me like a fake glass of wine when I was 8, and I would listen and be like, “I think there was an affair.” Pitchfork - Carly Rae Jepsen on the Music That Made Her (2019)

Terzo turned out to be a gifted child. super smart and naturally talented at a lot of things, but he particularly loved to build with lego / blocks and play piano.

Terzo had a great relationship with his mom. she always supported him and encouraged him to pursue his interests and to do his best.

Terzo missed his dad though. his parents had been together long enough for Terzo to remember him. he was just a kid. he didn't know any better.

when Ghost debuted and Nihil became an internationally famous one-hit wonder, Terzo developed this idealized image of Nihil as a cool rock star cultural icon in his head. idolized him a bit.

after this, Terzo decided he wanted to get serious about becoming an entertainer / musician. started doing piano recitals and competitions. youth theater. film club. all the things.

if anyone asked Terzo why he wanted to become an entertainer, he'd tell them it's because it's what he's good at. and he's always wanted to be famous. which was true, but...

what he wouldn't tell them is that a part of him was trying to emulate [his idea of] his dad and secretly hoping that if he shared that interest / became famous his dad would want come back into his life.

he knew his mom was always there supporting him, but every time he went onstage he would look out into the audience hoping his dad might be there to surprise him. (he never was.)

Nihil was the first of many many disappointments in Terzo's life.

oops! i made it sad.

anyway here's a doodle of kid Terzo getting a postcard from his dad... he didn't hear from his dad again for a very. very long time after that.

there are a lot of details i haven't square hammered out, but it's okay because these headcanons are mostly for me to like, frame Terzo's character development over time. might post more later :)

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Idea:

hero broke their arm, and is now trapped in their bathroom trying to bathe (only lit by candles because light went out) when Villian (their roommate) comes looking for them and then help them in bathing and wearing clothes afterwards

Just some hurt comfort please.. No teasing, just them basking in each other's comfort

"You know you can ask me whenever you need my help, right?" The villain helped them into the bathtub, one hand on the hero's waist and the other holding their hand. They had never thought the hero would be their roommate. But the city was big and apartments were expensive.

The villain couldn't move and the hero couldn't either. And somewhere along the way, the hero - despite their hatred - had decided not to report them to the police. Maybe it was pity, maybe compassion. The villain wasn't sure yet.

"So you can break more of my bones?" the hero asked quietly.

"I didn't break your arm," the villain said. They let go of the hero and sat down next to the bathtub, eyes glued to the ground. It was difficult, the villain had to admit. The hero was a horrible roommate, trying to make the villain's life as miserable as possible. Never cleaning up, bringing over random people, listening to loud music, ignoring them all the time.

Of course, the villain didn't blame them. They were enemies. But they didn't want this.

"You have broken much more than just my bones." The villain closed their eyes. Did the hero not know that this was the exact reason why the villain couldn't sleep? Why they had developed several questionable methods of distraction?

God, the villain knew they were no saint. They worked with dangerous people, built dangerous stuff. They could barely live with themselves.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just really need the money," they whispered. Shame had become a companion. The villain wasn't quite sure if they could ever get used to it. "I don't mean to be...violent."

"That doesn't give you the right to bite," the hero answered and the villain was quiet for a long time. The hero didn't look at them. Their eyes stared into the water, the broken arm - still blue and green - put onto the edge of the bathtub and their legs pulled against their chest. They could've put their chin on their knees but the hero hadn't done that.

Their body was decorated with scars, each an individual and unwanted present for the hero. Usually, the villain covered their own scars and they knew the hero did that, too. So, it was the first time the villain saw them like this. And for the first time, they didn't see scars as something disgusting. They wanted to stretch out their arm and trace the large scar on the hero's back. But they didn't do that.

"I know. I'm scared...I'm sorry." Slowly, the hero's gaze softened and they looked at their nemesis, somewhat pitiful.

"Why are you kind to me?" the hero asked. "Why aren't you trying to murder me here?"

"I really do it just for the money and you pay half the rent." It was an attempted joke and to the villain's surprise, their enemy smiled.

"We both know you're not kind out of convenience. I haven't seen you out there in months but I have seen the bloody bathroom or the open window at night. You're still out there, you're still fighting. But you're avoiding me," the hero said.

"Well, it is strange to break your bones now. I got to know you. I know your coffee order, I know your favourite food. I know your favourite movies and your favourite books. I know when you go to bed or when you wake up."

"Still, I wasn't kind to you," the hero said. Their cheeks were glowing, maybe out of embarrassment, maybe because the bath was hot.

"I can't blame you. I get attached to people too easily." It was the truth. Every time, the villain fell in love with their best friends. They couldn't help it. Being around someone their age was like a curse. Whether that person was good to them or not, the villain fell for them eventually within weeks. They loved like a dog. But the hero did not need to know that. "I don't want you to hate me."

"I'm sorry," the hero said. "When I was being rude, I didn't see the person, I just saw my enemy. Maybe I am the one who has to learn not to bite."

They reached for the villain's shoulder.

"Maybe some peace will be good," the hero said gently. "Maybe we could become friends."

The villain was doomed. They would lose this relationship too.

[pedripics]

Pedri via Residency - May 28, 2024

What is something you still want to accomplish in life? - " A lot of things. I am still very young or do you already want to kill me?"

Favourite teammate at Barça? - "I am close with the group in general but Ferran"

Do you play any instruments? or would you like to learn how to play one? - "Better not for the sake of the rest of the people. I like to listen to music but not much else" Favourite series or movie? - "Mi reno de peluche and the one about chapo guzman; favourite favourite is Prison Break and La que se avecina"

Do you know anything about Armenia? - "not too much, to be honest… but recently a very nice driver took me to a shooting was from there. His name was Ara"

Favourite moment of the season? - "It wasn't the best season. On a personal level, I would say the brace."

How do you deal with criticism? - "I try to stay out of it, although it's not always possible, of course... you have to try and keep going and keep believing in yourself"

How do you feel about being able to play for Spain after such a long time? - "Very happy. I haven't been able to play for Spain for a long time. Hopefully we will have great EUROs and also a great 24/25 season with Barça"

How did you feel after the brace? - "crazyyyyy"

"I always try to stop and sign, because I remember when I asked for signatures as a kid"

Plans for the summer? - "I hope to go on vacation, but in a month and a half… that will mean that we go far in the euro with the national team"

Have you eaten German food before? - "Yesss... a member of my marketing team is German and he made us German food a long time ago, with sausages and so on"

How is your English? - "I still have to improve a lot. Give me a few months and I will answer in English"

Do you miss doing anything in your daily life? - "I can't complain. I like to live in peace"

Would you like to go to China? - "Of course, yes. Althpugh in the season there is not really time for anything and during holidays I prefer to stay close and rest. Let's see if we ever have a tour in China"

How many trophies have you won? - "With Barça, La Liga, Copa and Supercopa"

Do you feel ready for the EUROs? - "Siiii"

5 UCL Trophies or a World Cup? - "I don't want to choose. I would like to win it all"

Would you like to play against Portugal in the EUROs final? - "Sure. As long as we play in the final, I don't care against who it is"

Pele or Maradona? - "Maradona... Because he played for Barça and my father told me about him when I was younger. I remember the day he died very well because it was my 18th birthday"

Have you been to New York? - "Yes"

Favourite team to play against? - "Obviously Barça" (he did NOT understand that question lmaooo back to duolingo it is)

Visit Uruguay? You have a lot of fans here - "Ronald also told me once... We'll have to listen to him, because otherwise he gets angry"

How was it going to the Spanish GP in 2022? Are you going this year? - "It was a crazy experience. I don't think I can go this year because it clashes with the EUROs"

Do you like going to concerts? - "I haven't been to many, honestly... I have yet to go to one of Quevedo's. And last year they invited me from Spotify to see Coldplay in Barcelona but in the end I didn't go and I regretted it a little. Teammates went and they love it" (who tf turns down coldplay tickets??? 😭)

Your dad is a great person. - "The best"

How do you feel about receiving so much love? - "Very proud and privileged"

Do you want to score for Spain during the EUROs? - "Clarooo. Let's see if I can make it happen, because I haven't scored for Spain yet"

Red or blue? - "Azulgrana"

Do you like to cook? - "I'm not very good at cooking... My brother and mother are much better"

Pedri or Pedro? - "Pedri... Pedro sounds strange to me. From a young age they already called me Pedri, because there was another boy in the team whose name was Pedro and it was to differentiate us... and everyone calls me Pedri"

What do you think of Alexia, Aitana and Marta? - "They are top footballers!"

Is it difficult to have a 'normal' life? - "It's not easy, but mine doesn't change that much because I really like to be quiet and at home"

Only fish or only meat? - "I prefer meat... but for nutrition, fish"

When you were a kid did you make trouble in class? - "I was more of a quite kid"

Who do you think will win the Golden Boy award? - "Well, I hope a Barça teammate. Lamine, and if not Cubarsi"

What inspires you to perform at such a high level on the field? - "I do what I like the most"

What do you think of your season at Barça this year? - "I was saying this the other day. It hasn't been an easy season and I hope the next one will be much better in every single way and we will win titles"

Have you ever wished to have a sister? - "My mother always wanted to have a daughter, but in the end she had to settle for Fer and me hahaha"

How do you feel for the EUROs? - "Very good. Better and better"

Blue or Black? - "Blue"

[joes-sha-la-la-la-girl]

'I'm In Love With You' - Jon Bon Jovi x Reader

A/N: Thank you once again to @elliotts-personal-property for helping me overcome the writer's block I had for this fic. To the anon that requested it, I hope you like it. I haven't written for JBJ for ages as my other fic was written months before I posted it, so I hope this is alright 💖💖

Masterlist

The day I met Jon for the first time in the record store started out like any other. I hadn’t anticipated that I would meet the rockstar at all, in fact I was hoping for as little human interaction as possible. Purely because I just wanted to be left in peace whilst I searched through the records.

However, that was not to be. As soon as I walked in the store, I saw that there was only one other person in there. I recognised him straight away. Everyone around here knew who Bon Jovi were. Not that I cared much for them. I didn’t mind their music and had their debut record at home, I just didn’t fall at their feet like most of the people here. 

At first I tried to ignore him, moving my way through the store and looking over the stock of records. However, it became more difficult to ignore the singer as when I next looked up he was standing only a few feet away from me. Trying not to catch his attention, I slowly moved away again. 

However it was too late. Before I knew it Jon was standing right next to me and I could feel his eyes staring at me. 

“Can I help you?” I asked him, barely looking up. 

“Not really, just wanted to talk to a pretty lady s’all.” He responded with a wink and a cheeky grin.

“Well unfortunately for you, I’m not in the mood to be spoken to today, sorry.” I lamely excused myself. Part of me felt bad for being rude, but the other part couldn’t find it in me to care. Jon just carried on standing there with a grin on his face, not deterred by my bluntness in any way.

“Do you really listen to this?” He questioned me as he looked at the records I was flicking through. Admittedly synth-pop wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea but that was part of the reason I listened to it. I liked the way that the music I listened to was created for people who didn’t quite fit into society. It was for the misfits who didn’t fit in with the misfits. Listening to artists create music to stand out made me feel more confident in myself. 

“Yes I do.” I answered his question. Jon didn’t respond to that and instead just carried on looking at the records I was searching through. 

“I’m Jon by the way.” He smiled at me, ignoring the obvious tension between the two of us.

“I’m Y/N.” I half heartedly responded, earning another cheeky grin in return. 

*

Over the next few weeks, this became a regular occurrence. How one manages to bump into a rising rockstar nearly every week I’ll never know but for some reason it kept happening. Our encounters consisted of heated arguments over music, each time we met the disagreements got more intense. At one point I was sure that we would get kicked out of the store but when the owner recognised Jon, he thought against it and just told us to keep it down instead.

I had resigned to the fact that no matter how much I tried to avoid him, every power in the universe was ensuring that I would run into him again. Despite our differences of opinions when it came to music, I found myself almost looking forward to seeing Jon. That should have been my first clue that I was falling in love with him; however, the stubbornness inside of me refused to believe it. 

It wasn’t until he went on tour that I realised how badly in love with him I was. I found that our senseless squabbles and the ridiculous comments that were made purely for the sake of it, was actually just me covering for the apparent love I held for him.

When I came to that dreadful realisation, I decided that the best thing to do was to try and stay away from him as much as possible. I didn’t know the specific date in which Jon got back off of tour but it was soon. 

*

Eventually I saw him walking towards the record store one day. Rather than go in like I had planned, I promptly turned away and made my way to another store. If I saw him on the street then I went the other way. Maybe I was being ridiculous but that sounded more appealing than admitting my obviously unrequited feelings.

It was only two weeks after I first saw Jon when he got back off of tour, my luck of avoiding him ran out. 

“Y/N.” 

Upon hearing my name I turned around, only to see exactly who had called my name. I quickly spun away again and continued walking. The rain was pouring down and all I wanted to do was get home and curl up in my pyjamas. I did not want to face any altercation that may be coming my way.

“Y/N, wait.” Jon called again. Just as I went to speed up, I felt his hand clasp down on my shoulder. “What are you doing? Why are you ignoring me?” Jon asked, inquisitive as always.

“Look Jon, I have to go.” I tried to pull away from him but he was having none of it.

“Why? I haven’t seen you since I got home, where have you been?”

“I’ve been busy Jon.” I tried not to snap at him. Afterall it wasn’t his fault that I had fallen in love with him. 

Jon just looked at me. I couldn’t help but stare at him, the way his usually fluffy hair stuck to his face in the rain. How his brow was furrowed in confusion. Even in the rain he looked like the most ethereal man to walk the earth. His lips pouted slightly as he tried to work out why I had been avoiding him.

When I realised that I was staring, I started to pull away, only for Jon to grab me gently by the wrist and tug me back towards him. Being in close proximity to him made my heart race and I could only hope that he couldn’t hear over the noise of the rain.

“Y/N what’s going on?” Jon asked softly as he stared into my eyes.

“Why do you care?” I asked him, though there was no malice in my tone. “We only talk when we are arguing about music, so why do you care if there is something wrong?”

“Because…” Jon stopped for a moment. 

Whilst Jon looked for the words to say, I wriggled out of his grip and started to walk away again. I wanted so badly to be wrapped up in his arms and pulled into his chest whilst he kissed me senseless, but in the back of my mind, all I could think about was the consequences of being rejected by him. 

I didn’t think my heart could take it if he didn’t feel the same way, which was almost inevitable. 

I didn’t get far again before Jon ran in front of me. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he looked into my eyes.

“Something is obviously going on. Please tell me. I can’t help if you won’t let me.”

“You can’t fix this Jon. Just leave me be.” The look in his eyes was nearly killing me.

“Y/N please.” Jon's voice broke into a whisper, it was at that point that I felt tears running down my face, mixed with raindrops. No wonder the man was concerned about me when I stood in front of him crying. “Just talk to me darlin’.”

As soon as he said that the waterworks became unstoppable. The realisation that I was about to be rejected by the one man that I have ever felt like this for, tore my heart into tiny pieces. The emotional pain transformed into a pain in my chest as if my heart was about to break.

“I’m in love with you.” The words spilled out before I could stop them and the shock on Jon’s face replaced the concern immediately. When Jon didn’t say anything I found myself nervously continuing.

“I know that you probably don’t feel the same way and that's why I didn’t want to say anything but now I have and I am making an-” I was cut off from my rambling by a pair of lips on mine. 

Jon moved away before I had a chance to reciprocate. “Sorry you were just talking and talking, it's the only way I could think of to get you to calm down.” 

I stared up at him, probably resembling a deer in headlights. Before I could even think about what I was doing I stood on my toes to reach him and pressed another kiss to his lips. He immediately reacted and kissed me back with so much passion that I thought I might pass out.

I couldn’t even feel the cold from the rain as I stood in his embrace. My arms wrapped around his neck whilst his hands rested on my hips, pulling me closer to him. When the two of us pulled away again, Jon rested his forehead on mine, not allowing me to move backwards.

“In case you couldn’t tell, I’m in love with you too. I don’t tend to argue with just anyone over and over again.” Jon laughed before pecking me on the nose. Smiling up at him I connected our lips yet again before pulling away and tugging at his hand.

“Where are we going?” He questioned with a small grin on his gorgeous face.

“My place.” I winked, “Gotta get out of these wet clothes.”

[americas1suiteheart]

This is also another one that hasn't been requested, but the FOB brain rot is real guys. Anyways, this one isn't exactly age accurate I guess?? More so of an AU if anything.

How Misery Loved Me

Patrick Stump x Fem! Reader

[Tumblr did it again and ruined the quality of my gif..]

Summary; I don't know how to write summaries for works that aren't requested, my bad, guys this is my own fault, especially when I know I have asks.💀

Notes; I'm sorry it's another fem reader but school is piling up and finals week is coming up and I still want to write, but fem readers are easier right now. I also just gave the girl that went to the dance with Pete a random name. (This is one of the corniest and most cliché things I've ever written).

Warnings; Mutual pining, foul language, some angst, and there's multiple pov changes.

Word Count; 10,307

<Now playing - Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy>

0:54 ──ㅇ─────── 3:00

"So, which one do you think looks better?" You ask, turning around to look at Patrick, who was sitting on your bed.

"That one's nice, but I think the second one you wore was better. But seriously, I think you should pick which one you want."

"That's the thing though; I don't know which one I want to wear because I like three of them," You say, falling face down onto the bed in the spot where all the previously discarded dresses were.

"Then take all the other dresses out and pick just those three, and then we can narrow it down to what you want," Patrick says, looking down at you.

You groan and turn over, then get up again, beginning to pick all of the other dresses except for the three that you liked, hanging all of the other ones back up and putting them into your closet.

You take the three other dresses with you behind the divider you had in your room, changing into one of the dresses and walking back out.

"Okay, this one has a pretty colour and it's comfortable, but I think it's just a little too short for my liking, so I think this one can go." You say, looking at yourself in the mirror, smoothing out the dress.

You walk back behind the divider, changing into the second dress and hanging the other one back up.

"This one is a perfect length, and it's a nice colour but the straps constantly fall off my shoulders, but I think if I were to sew them to fit me, or even just safety pin them to my bra, it would probably be okay."

You do the same as you did before, going back to the divider, changing into the other dress, and walking back out.

"This one is comfortable, and it fits good, as well as a good length, but I'm afraid that it's going to end up being too much." You say, looking at yourself in the mirror and turning around.

"That's the one that I liked. I don't think it's too much, though. It looks nice on you," Patrick says, scooting farther back onto the bed.

"So, should I wear this one or the other one?" You ask, looking down at yourself, feeling the material of the dress in between your fingers.

"I think that one,"

You nod, smiling as you go back to behind the divider, changing into your pyjamas this time and laying the dress down nicely for Friday's dance, then putting the other one away into your closet.

After doing so, you close up the divider and lay down on your bed halfway with your legs dangling off of it. You close your eyes and listen to the music playing from your CD player, nodding your head to the song.

You open your eyes slightly, looking up at Patrick and admiring his features. His hair was medium length, with those sideburns that you adored so much. Oh and his smile, he could light up a room with that smile. His eyes were such a pretty blue.

You see Patrick look down at you and then quickly look away when he sees that you were staring at him, you doing the same.

You quickly sit back up from your bed and walk to your player to change the CD.

"I still haven't completed the math homework that's due Thursday and was thinking about what other ones I still had to do. Have you done them yet?" You say trying to get rid of the awkwardness, taking your Catalyst CD by New Found Glory out of its case, then taking the other one out of the player and replacing it, pushing the play button and turning up the volume dial.

You turn back around and see Patrick's eyes widen.

"Oh shoot! I forgot about that! What was it again?" Patrick asks, his hands covering his face.

"We just have to do the problems on page 27 from our books, it's not that hard but I can let you copy mine if you want, I'm not done with it yet so you'll have to finish the rest." You say, walking over to your bag to get your book out.

"That would be awesome, I'll just copy them down on a paper if you don't mind it,"

"Knock yourself out, 'Trick,"

You place the book down onto your small desk in the corner of your room. The desk had scattered sheet music, old graded history and english papers, a table lamp and pencil jar placed on the left, and your closed laptop sitting in the middle of the desk.

The wall it was facing was decorated with old concert tickets and wristbands, framed pictures of you and your family, as well as unframed pictures of you and the rest of the boys, most of them of you and Patrick.

Patrick walks to the desk, sitting down in the chair and grabbing one of your blank lined papers from a spot where more sheet music books were stacked up.

You sit back down onto your bed, humming the beginning of All Downhill From Here to yourself and picking at the fibers on the plush throw.

"Has anyone asked you to homecoming yet?" Patrick says, still looking at the book and copying it down.

"No, not yet. I honestly wouldn't mind not getting asked and just hanging out with you and the rest of the guys though,"

"Really? I'm surprised no one has yet. But Pete has a date to homecoming now actually so I think it would be just me, Andy, and Joe together," Patrick says, placing the pencil down and turning around in the swivel chair.

"Pete got a date? Did he finally ask that girl?" You ask.

"Yup, he lit her yard on fire with the word "homecoming?" and she said yes," He explains.

"He lit her yard on fire?! I don't know about her but if someone lit my yard on fire to ask me to some dance saying yes would be the last thing i'd do, I think that's just common sense though, or at least it should be, but apparently not for her!" You exclaim, looking at Patrick in shock.

"Yeah, I told him it was a bad idea too and he still did it. I've got to give it to him though, at least he was confident enough to do that and it actually got him a date," Patrick laughs.

"Are you going to ask anyone to the dance?"

"I want to ask this one girl, but I don't think I'm going to end up actually doing it, I'm not as confident as Pete is when it comes to that sort of stuff," Patrick says, spinning around in the chair.

Ouch.

"Anyways, I should probably get going now though, it's going get dark out soon and my curfew is coming up, I don't need my mom yelling at me again," Patrick says, getting up from the chair and walking over to you.

"Oh shoot, have you really been here that long? I didn't mean to keep you here that long, sorry about that," You say, getting up.

"Don't apologise, I like hanging out with you, it's much better than just sitting in my bed reading comics the whole time. I mean, I love those comics but again, I much prefer hanging out with you instead," Patrick says awkwardly.

"Okay, get going though, it'll be too dark for you to walk home soon enough," You say.

You give Patrick a hug, him leaning down a little bit as he was just ever so slightly taller than you.

"Alright, bye Y/n, I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for letting me copy, you seriously just saved my ass," Patrick says, opening your door and leaving the room.

You close the door and sigh, sitting at your desk, finishing the last three problems you had, then turning off your lamp and CD player.

You get your bed ready to sleep in, putting the extra pillow on the floor and get under the covers.

I'm so stupid, he's nothing more than a friend and it's always going to be that way, stop creating these stupid thoughts in your head.

You sigh and close your eyes, falling asleep within a few minutes.

---------------------------------------

-Patrick's POV-

"Dude just ask her. If you don't ask soon then some other guy will. There's only two days until homecoming, she's going to get asked, Patrick, believe me." Pete says, leaning against the lockers next to mine.

"I don't know, Pete. I mean, if she says no then it's going to be awkward between us or something, I don't want that." I say, rummaging through my locker for my math book.

"Believe me, Patrick, she'll say yes." Pete puts an arm on my shoulder and gives me a look.

I sigh and close my locker, not being able to find the book. It's fine, I didn't need it right now anyways. I'll have to look for it when I get home though.

The bell rings and I walk to my class with Pete, him departing ways with me shortly after as he had a different class this period.

God I really don't want to be here right now.

Ding! -"Good Morning everyone! Today is Thursday and it's currently 20 degrees out. The yearbook club is meeting today during lunch, as well as chess and game club. Those that need to retake their photos have today and tomorrow to do so, and those that need to retake any midterm tests will do so next week on Tuesday in the Algebra classroom or room B213. And now for the most exciting announcement; homecoming is coming up tomorrow and tickets are still being sold during lunch time, so maybe get yourself and a special someone a ticket as they won't be sold at the door. Those that are helping plan the dance will need to meet in the student lounge until Friday. Have a great day, and once again buy those tickets!"- Click!

'Ugh. Another reminder that I still don't have the balls to ask her out to the dance.' I think to myself, pinching the bridge of my nose and getting all of my things out for the class.

I sit through the class, taking notes as the teacher talks, ignoring the balls of scrunched up papers being thrown across the classroom. The class seemed to go on so much longer than it usually felt like it did, but maybe it might be the rowdiness of my classmates.

I finish the class and continue to go to all of my other periods until lunchtime. Finding my regular table with everyone else and place my bag down and head to the lunchline, which was almost always shorter except for Wednesdays as the food tended to be much better then everything else all the other days.

Honestly though, most of everyone's lunch breaks are just spent waiting in line unless you either got lucky enough to be first or if you brought your own lunch for the day.

After standing in the line and finally getting my tray, I head back to the table.

"...No, no, no, no, no. You don't understand guys, this is like, the first time I've ever been asked to any kind of dance ever. This is huge for me!" Y/n exclaims, slamming their hands on the table.

"I don't know man, the guy that asked you is kind of an asshole," Andy says, everyone else other than Y/n agreeing.

Shit, I should've listened to Pete.

"Come on dude, you're really gonna ditch me, Patrick and Andy for some guy that you've never had a conversation with?" Joe says as he continues chewing on his sandwich.

I place my tray onto the table, sitting down in between Pete and Y/n in the seat that I was always in.

"Pat! Hold on I was looking for one of my CD's this morning when I was getting ready and found this under one of my blankets I had on the floor. I think you might've left it the last time we studied together." Y/n says, pulling a large math book out of her bag and handing it to me.

"Oh shit, thanks, Y/n. I was looking for this earlier this morning," I say, taking the book from her hands, looking at it for a second and then placing it inside my bag.

"Yeah no problem. Oh, oh! You'll never guess what happened during the second passing period," She says excitedly, grabbing my left shoulder and shaking it slightly, then patting her hand quickly on it.

"What happened?" I ask, taking a bite out of the sandwich on my tray of food.

"So, you know that guy Mark in our chemistry class right? He kinda has like this dark brown semi-curly hair, the one that always wears that letterman jacket,"

"The guy that pushed me directly into that one girl because I wouldn't give him my notes?" I say, swallowing the bite of my sandwich and opening my carton of milk.

"He did that to you?" Y/n asks, gently placing her hand on my back.

I dismiss her hand, "That doesn't really matter, did he ask you to the dance?"

Y/n's face had a hurt look, one that I couldn't quite place my finger on. Her face then softened, continuing with what she was saying.

"But uh, yeah. He asked me if I wanted to be his date to homecoming and I said yes. He's not a bad looking guy so I figured why not," She finishes, giving a small shrug.

I nod slowly, staying silent as I continue taking bites out of my sandwich, listening to everyone else talk about their own things for the remainder of the lunch period.

I get up and throw my tray with everyone else, grabbing my bag and waiting for Y/n at the table so we can walk to class together.

How come you always have to chicken out on things like this? If you don't start saying something soon to her she's going to-

A sudden light punch on my arm brings me out of my trance, I turn to see Y/n and gently punch her back, smiling at her.

"You okay, Pat?" She asks, a soft smile on her face.

I nod my head, starting to walk with her to our next class together. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just got lost in my head for a second there". Y/n hums and continues walking, pushing past everyone else in the crowded hallway.

Does it make me a bad friend for not being completely happy for Y/n, anyone would be but I can't seem to shake off this feel of jealousy in my body.

Me and Y/n enter the classroom, going to our shared work table and place our bags down on the floor next to it and take our seats.

"What did we work on yesterday in this class? I dozed off," Y/n whispers.

"Oh, I could tell. Did you know that you snore?" I say jokingly.

"Oh shut up, I was out for forty minutes, but can you please tell me what we did?" Y/n says sarcastically, giving me a light punch in the arm.

"We just had a study hall for class. Mr Hadford didn't feel like teaching so he just told us to do whatever, so you're fine unless you absolutely needed to work on something else,"

"Good to know," Y/n places her head onto my shoulder.

---------------------------

-Reader's POV-

"Come on, Y/n. Are you sure you really want to go with Mark Anderson? The guy is a douche, you've seen how he treats people like us!" Pete exclaims.

"What do you mean by people like us? Pete?" I ask, turning around from my desk to look at Pete.

Pete was over at your house because you two wanted to hang out together. He was in the same spot that Patrick sat in your bed the other night. You couldn't help but feel slightly upset with yourself that you agreed to go with mark instead of asking Patrick to go with you. Or instead, hoping Patrick would ask you.

Sure, it'd always been fun just going with the rest of them, you guys just did your own thing and stayed together, dancing how you wanted without caring if other people thought it was odd, because all five of you always had fun.

But for once someone had actually asked you, wanted to go with you, and to be honest, some terrible part of you wished that Patrick would get jealous and ask you to go with him instead.

"You know what I mean by that, Y/n. We've always been the geeks no one else really hangs out with, we've always been the only ones that hang out with each other, because be honest with yourself, when was the last time we ever talked with other people for more than a class period?" Pete explains.

You turn away, going back to what you were doing before. You hated that he was right. Why would some asshole jock ask you in the first place, you'd never even talked to him until earlier, and the conversation lasted 2 minutes at most.

"I didn't mean to be mean, well, maybe just a little, but I have a bad feeling that Mark didn't have good intentions when asking you." Pete says, getting up from the bed, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"But what if Mark is being genuine? What if I said no and missed out on something that could be serious?" I sigh, turning to face Pete.

"But Mark really isn't the best person at all. I mean, he's done something shitty to most of us by now, who knows if he'll do it again, or to you.. As your friend, I don't want you getting hurt, and neither would the rest of the guys, especially Patrick, and you know that. At least I would hope you do,"

"I know, I know.. It's just, ugh god. I mean, you can't say anything, you asked that poor girl by lighting her front yard on fire!"

"So? At least I'm a better guy than Mark Anderson. The guy is notorious for being a douchebag, don't compare me to him." Pete says, falling down onto my bed dramatically.

God, Pete is starting to make me question my decisions, maybe I should listen to him, what if Mark really does have bad intentions.

"I can't believe you didn't ask Patrick to go with you. You know he wouldn't have said no, right?" Pete says, his arm over his eyes.

"When he was here the other night I asked him if he was going to ask anyone to the dance and he said that he wanted to ask this girl. I didn't bother after that, if he already had someone in mind I wasn't going to ask, I don't want to be that type of girl. I've seen other girls do that to guys and it either makes them feel like they're being pressured or in an awkward sort of position." You sigh, finishing organizing the plethora of loose sheet music on your desk and placing it in a folder.

"Whatever man. All I'm saying is that you could've said no to Mark and hung out with the rest of the guys. You didn't have to go with him."

"Piss off, Wentz. I don't want your shitty advice, it's just making me feel worse," You say annoyed.

"I had the balls to ask someone I liked to homecoming, you didn't. You made a mistake and still insist that 'oh come on Pete, he can't be that bad, even if he made your guys' lives miserable, I'm pretty sure he'll be nice even if we haven't ever talked to each other, I want to give this dumb asshole a chance.' And to be honest Y/n, you're kind of a dumbass for that." Pete was now standing up, stopping in front of you two feet away, rolling his eyes and mimicking you.

"Get the fuck out of my room, Pete.." You say, your voice starting to get that raw feeling and tears threatening to form in your eyes. You felt stupid for starting to cry over something you started.

Pete storms out of the room closing your door, you could tell how annoyed he was by the sound of how loud his footsteps were, then leaving your house with a slight slam of the door.

What he said hurt. A lot. And just as before, you hated how right he was, how he was able to tell you every single thing you could've and shouldn't've done and he was still right. He acted like an ass but you knew it was with good intent and that he didn't want you to have the possibility of getting hurt, he was like an older brother in that way, but it pissed you off that he felt the need to scold and talk to you as if you were a child. How did something as simple as hanging out with each other turned into an argument so quickly?

You were too frustrated at that point, and on top of that, homecoming was the next night. God I'm an idiot, I need to sleep..

-Timeskip the next day-

The girls in the hallway giggled and talked to their friends about how excited they were for homecoming. How they were going with their boyfriends or how someone cute or popular asked them.

Despite how excited everyone was around you, you remained nervous and the feeling of anxiety only grew stronger every step you took down the hallway, finally making it to Patrick's locker where Andy, Pete, Joe, and obviously Patrick were standing.

"Good morning, Y/n, or not such a good morning..? Are you okay, man? You look like shit," Joe says, reaching across to examine your face.

"Thanks, Joe. Good morning to you too, I'm just fine," You say, swiping at his hands to get them off of your face.

"Hey, Y/n," Patrick says, giving you a small wave with a smile on his face. Gosh he was always so cute without even trying.

"Hey, Patrick, good morning," You say, mustering a small smile despite how you currently felt. "Good morning, Andy. How are you guys feeling other than excited like the rest of everyone else?" You ask, letting out a sigh.

Groans emit from everyone except Pete, one would know exactly why.

"I don't know, man I'm pretty excited, shouldn't you be too, Y/n? Are you excited to go with Mark?" Pete says, looking at you with a grin on his face.

"Sure, whatever you say, Wentz." You say, glaring at him.

The bell rings throughout the hallways, everyone starts to scramble to their classes, seemingly still talking to their friends about the dance as they do so.

"Me and Andy gotta go to pre-cal, we'll see you guys during lunch. Try not to die from excitement," Joe says, walking down the hallway, giving a monotone "woo-hoo".

We all depart and walk to our separate classes. Math was probably one of the worst first classes to have, or more specifically Trigonometry. It wasn't even that you hated it, but rather the kids in it. They were loud and were often rowdy, and the teacher didn't care enough to say anything about it, and today you knew it was going to be much rowdier than most days. And when you walked in, you were exactly right.

You sat at your desk, placing your bag down and grabbing your book out of it. One more day until winter break starts, just one more day until you don't have to be around this chaos and sleep in.

The class went by quicker than it usually did, you just finished some problems in your workbook and listened to music on your iPod to drown out the sound of your classmates not very quietly talked to others.

After finishing your other two periods you walked through the hallway to get lunch.

Someone from behind grabs your shoulders and gives them a squeeze, "Boo," the voice says quietly. You turn around to see Pete standing in front of you

"Oh uh, hey, Pete." You say, adjusting the straps of your backpack awkwardly.

"Hey, Y/n. I'm sorry about last night by the way, I was kinda being a dick to you and said some things to you that would've been better if they were left unsaid. I don't want our friendship to go to shit so I wanted to apologise." Pete says, looking at you sympathetically.

You sigh and look up at him, "I'm sorry too, Pete. You were right and it upset me that you were, I also don't want there to be any sort of tension between us. I'm honestly kinda glad we resolved it,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pete asks, smiling as he begins to walk with you to the lunch line.

"Well, I mean I could've totally lived without being your friend, you're not all that important or whatever," You sarcastically reply.

"Pfft, I think I can say the same for you too, L/n," Pete says and gives you a small punch to your arm.

Both of you get lunch and then head to your usual table where just Andy was sat, reading an issue of Uncanny X-Men with one of his earbuds in.

"Hey, Andy. You're not gonna get any lunch?" You ask, placing your tray onto the table and sit next to Pete.

"Nah, not right now. I'm gonna wait for the line to clear up so I can finish this," Andy replies, taking his other earbud out and wrapping the cord around his iPod.

"Where's Joe and Patrick? Did they come by yet?" Pete talks with his mouth full, shoveling the spaghetti on his tray into his mouth.

"No, they haven't come by yet, I'm assuming both of them got stuck in computer lab, I heard the teacher's an ass so I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Hey, does the spaghetti come without the meat in the sauce or is it just that?"

"Ah okay, thanks, Andy. Yeah they have just the tomato sauce, the meat is an add on type thing," You reply, taking a bite of your food.

Andy gives a nod of affirmation and continues to read the comic in his hands.

You and Pete continue to eat, Andy soon finishes his comic to go get lunch and comes back shortly after.

"Have Patrick and Joe still not come by yet?" Andy says, as he sits back down in his seat and sets his tray down.

"Nope, nothing yet," Pete replies.

Worry began to set in your stomach, nothing could've happened to the two, except maybe Joe getting in trouble and dragging Patrick along with him.

You decide to pull your phone out and ring Patrick and after a couple of rings it goes to voicemail. You hang up and look at your phone for a moment before closing it.

"Patrick leaves his cell on silent during school, try Joe instead, or you could always go look for them." Andy says, swallowing a bite of his pasta before talking.

Shoot you forgot about that. You open your phone back up and dial Joe's number, it doing the same thing as when you tried Patrick's number.

"I'm gonna go look for them, do you guys wanna come with?" You ask, getting up from the table.

Pete looks at Andy then back at me, "Nah, I think we can just stay. Me and Andy still have to finish our food,"

You nod and walk out of the lunch hall, heading down to upstairs building C to get to the Computer Lab. Once you were at the classroom you knocked on the door, not long after the teacher opened it.

"What is it you need?" The teacher says seemingly annoyed.

"Have you seen Patrick and Joe? I believe they have you as their 3rd bell and I haven't seen them." You ask, slightly intimidated by the teacher's height and demeanor.

"They're in lunch detention right now, actually."

You let out a small 'oh' and thank her before walking back to the lunch hall. Wow, Andy must've been right about her being mean.

You return back to your table and sit back down next to Pete, sighing. "They got themselves stuck in lunch detention,"

"What? How did they do that?" Andy says, Pete snickering next to you.

"I don't know! I went to the computer lab, knocked on the door, then asked the teacher if she'd seen them or knew where they were and she just told me that they were in lunch detention," You explain, running your hands through your hair.

Pete is now laughing even louder and so is Andy, now you can't help but laugh a little with them too.

Lunch finishes and all three of you dump your trays. You grab your bag and start walking to your 4th bell History class.

As you walk in you see Patrick sitting at the table you two share with his head down. You walk to it and place your things down and sit next to him.

"What happened, Stump?" You say, placing a hand on Patrick's arm.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Patrick says with his voice muffled from still having his head down.

"Alright, I won't pry about it, but you have to put your head up so that way we can work. I can't have a partner if he's got his head buried in his arms the whole time." You chuckle, taking your hand off his arm and getting your things out of your bag.

The rest of the day went by and soon enough you were in your room blasting AFI's Sing The Sorrow album as you got ready for the dance.

You had the dress that Patrick helped you pick out and some simple makeup on, just a little bit of eyeliner on your waterline and a light coat of mascara on your bottom lashes, just leaving your top lashes curled.

You pause your music and put the CD back into its case, grabbing your phone on your way out of your room.

You spot your dad sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal, "Hey dad, how do I look? Does it look okay or should I change something about it?"

"Hey, kiddo. You look nice, that looks just fine. Let me take a picture before you head out, okay." Your dad gets up from where he was sitting and gets the camera out

You stand in front of an empty space where paintings he made were the only thing that adorned the walls behind you. You smile and he takes the picture, then he comes next to you and takes a picture of both of you.

"Alright, have fun and don't do anything stupid. Take your coat too, it's cold out." He says as he gives you a hug.

You grab your coat and tell him bye before going outside. Joe was your ride to the dance, so you waited outside for him to come. In a few minutes he pulled up with his hand me down 1998 Toyota Corolla, Andy sitting in the passenger seat.

"Hey, Joe, thanks for taking me. Hi, Andy," You say, getting into the backseat of the car.

"No problem. You stoked for it? Your date is that Mark guy, right?" Joe asks as he begins driving.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You seemed to be stoked about it yesterday, what's wrong now?" Andy asks.

You shrug your shoulders and sigh, regardless of the fact that they couldn't see you. "I dunno, I just- feel bad about leaving you guys, we've been going with each other the past two years now. And on top of that Pete won't be there either because he has a date too."

"Don't worry about us, Y/n, we'll be fine, and you can always come with us and hang out if you get tired of Mark," Andy says and Joe nods in agreement.

"It's not really that, I guess. I mean, I didn't get to ask the guy I wanted to and just kinda said yes to Mark even though I didn't want to go. To be honest the guy is a dick and I've seen how he reacts to other girls rejecting him, and I just didn't want him to spread gross lies about me like he did with the girls that said no to him."

I was stupid for saying yes, but I would've also been stupid if I said no. It was a lose, lose situation and my grave was already dug when he asked me. I'm hoping that he just ditches me and says that it was a joke that he asked me, that no one would ever ask me. You wanted to get out of that situation even if it meant him humiliating you in front of a crowd of other people. You knew that's exactly what would happen if he did do it.

"Why didn't you ask the guy you wanted to before? We had like, two weeks to do so." Joe asks, his eyes still focused on the road.

"Honestly, Joe, I don't know."

Other than the soft music coming from the radio, the rest of the ride to the school was quiet. All of you get out of the car once you make it to the car lot and park. Joe locks his car and you guys walk to the building that leads to the gym, all three of you giving your tickets to the teacher that had a table set outside.

You head into the hall and tell Andy and Joe to go on ahead while you wait for Mark. You felt uneasy about it, just as you thought on the way here, hoped that he would come to say something about you and ditch.

Mark arrived and greeted you and walked next to you until you were inside the gym. You see Pete and wave to him, then spot Joe and see Patrick peeking over to wave to you. You smile and wave back to him but it was cut short as Mark took your arm and pulled you to a spot where other guys and girls he often hung out with were standing.

God, this is not gonna be a fun night..

He introduces you to his friends. Some waved but most of them snicker and sneer at you. You shuffle in your spot uncomfortably as all of them talk to each other, not really knowing who they were and not wanting to be included in the conversations.

The band that was supposed to start the dance off with one song started to play and everyone began to clap to the beat of the beginning.

'She says, she's no good with words but I'm worse. Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue,'

These guys are pretty good, holy shit.

'Way down with words too over dramatic. Tonight it's "It can't get much worse," Vs. "No one should ever feel like"'

You would like to dance and enjoy the music but it just wouldn't feel like it does when you were with the guys. You had no clue what to even do, you just kinda, stood there as everyone in the group just continued talking to each other.

'Dance, dance. We're falling apart to halftime. Dance, dance. And these are the lives you love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love, if they knew how misery loved me,'

"Hey, uh, I'm gonna go to the food table, alright?" You tell Mark awkwardly.

"Yeah, uh-huh, whatever, go do what you need to." Mark says, dismissing you with his hand and immediately going back to his conversation.

'Why don't you show me a little bit of spine. You've been saving for his mattress, love,'

You walk to the table, having to push past the crowd before getting there. You grab a cup and pour some punch into it, then grab one of the dessert cups and a spoon.

You sit at the bleachers to eat the dessert and drink your punch, throwing the empty cups and spoon into the trash once you were done and grab a dessert cup for Mark then head back to where he and his friends were.

You tap Mark on the shoulder and raise the dessert cup to him, motioning that you got it for him. "I got you one of these while I was over there."

Mark looks at you with a look on his face you can only decipher as disgust and destain. "I don't know how someone such as you can think that anyone other than your weird little friends would actually want to be next to you. I thought you were supposed to be the smart girl and somehow you still didn't get it." Mark says, laughing at me. His friends doing the same.

'Why don't you show me a little bit of spine. You've been saving for his mattress. I only want sympathy in the form of you. Crawling into bed with me,'

You look at him for a brief few seconds with a blank look on your face before shrugging. "Yeah, that's fair enough, but if you wanted a reaction out of me like all those other girls you could've at least tried a little harder. Thanks, man." You say before walking away, the dessert cup in your hand. You walk back to the table to put it back so it wouldn't go to waste and head to the bleachers. You see Andy sitting, reading one of the comics he brought with him.

You head over and sit next to him. "Hey, Andy. What are you doing here by yourself? Where's Patrick?"

"I could ask you the same. Patrick's in the mosh pit." Andy says, pointing to the pit that formed in the middle of the crowd.

"He's what? How'd that happen? He's not one for that sorta stuff. I'd expect that from Pete," You laugh.

"I think I saw someone drag him in. He was just kinda dancing by himself, I saw some girl slap Joe in the face earlier too, we can only guess why," Andy sighs, setting his comic down.

"So, what happened with Mark?"

'Dance, dance. We're falling apart to halftime. Dance, dance. And these are the lives you love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love,'

"He asked me just so that he could embarrass me in front of his friends," You shrug.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry that happened, dude." Andy says.

"Oh I'm fine, it only bothered me a bit but most of it was because he included you guys into it. I'm glad it happened, I get to hang out with you guys now, that is if Patrick comes out of that pit alive." You say, laughing at your own words.

"That's good, I'm glad you're okay," Andy says, picking his comic back up and continuing to read it.

'Dance, dance. Dance, dance. Dance, dance. Dance, dance.'

The song ends and the dance circles and small mosh pits begin to empty, most of everyone else going to their own group as the band starts taking all of their stuff down.

Joe makes his way to where you and Andy were sitting, a glass of punch in his hand. "Oh hey, what's up, Y/n?"

"Nothing much. What earned you a slap on the face by the way?" You ask, Andy snickering next to you, his nose still in his comic.

"We're not going to talk about that, okay.." Joe responds, rolling his eyes and taking a sip out of his cup.

Pete makes his way towards you guys with his date and introduces her to you guys. You wave and say hi, introducing yourself to her as well. She seemed like she was a nice girl.

"Y/n, what happened to Mark?" Pete asks, his hand holding the girl's.

"He just asked to try and embarrass me in front of his friends. It didn't bother me though, I was kind of expecting it honestly. I just walked away after telling him it didn't and came over here and just hung out with Andy," You explain.

Pete gives you a knowing look as a way of saying "I told you so," without saying anything. You roll your eyes at him in response and look at Amy. "So, I'm just curious, what made you say yes to Pete when he asked you to homecoming by lighting your front yard on fire?"

Pete looks at me and then back at Amy. "You don't need to answer that, how about we go and get some punch?" He says. Amy giggled as he began to pull her along with him. He glared at you before he walked away with her.

You stand up and groan a little from your aching feet that the heels were causing, turning around to look at Joe and Andy before telling them you were going to look for Patrick, earning a thumbs up from Andy.

You push past a few people to try and look for him, finally spotting him talking to some girls and then them walking away giggling and whispering to each other.

You walk up behind him and cover his eyes with your hands. "Guess who?" You whisper into his ear.

"I guess Y/n." Patrick chuckles.

You remove your hands from his eyes and he turns around, adjusting his glasses a little bit.

"You look good, Pat." You say, smoothing out his suit jacket with your hands.

"Thanks, so do you." Patrick responds. Both of you look at each other for a few seconds, not paying attention to anything else going on around you. You look away in slight embarrassment, stepping back a little and clearing your throat.

"How was your first mosh? And how did you not die?" You laugh.

"I was just kinda thrown into there unwillingly but I guess it was cool, a little more aggressive than I thought a mosh pit would be, especially for a high school homecoming pit, and I fell once and then left after that happened," Patrick says, looking at his shoes.

There was another awkward silence. You'd known each other for almost 4 years and this is probably the one time where you two didn't know what to say to each other.

"If you guys are done being weird, we were all going to get the picture taken before it starts to get too crowded," Joe says, standing in front of you two and motioning to go with him. You thanked him in your head that he broke that silence

You and Patrick follow Joe to the wall that had a fancy background for students to take pictures, where the rest of the guys, including Amy, were standing waiting for you.

"God, we've been waiting ages for you guys. What were you doing that took Joe so long to find you two?" Pete scolds. He sounded like a mother that had a teenager stay out too long after their curfew and was upset with them. Pete was just always kind of the parent of the group, though. Surprising for someone that acted like such a child sometimes.

"Shut up, Pete. We have people behind us that want to take a picture too, just get the picture taken and then we can do whatever we want afterwards." Joe says, pushing you and Patrick forward to the area as Andy hands the teacher his digital camera.

Everyone gets into their spots, Pete was next to Amy and had his arm around her waist, Joe and Andy stood next to each other smiling, and you put your hands on Patrick's left shoulder and leaned on him like you always did with these photos and smiled. The teacher counts down and takes a couple pictures to get some good shots.

"Do you guys want to do a silly one or are you all too old for that?" The teacher asks.

Everyone says yes and we all get into a new position. Andy and Joe made a heart with both of their hands and leaned towards each other like they were going to kiss, Pete and Amy had their tongues sticking out, and Patrick was holding you bridal style and you put your right arm up in a sort of cheering motion. The teacher then took those pictures and when she was finally done you all got out of position and thanked the teacher as Andy got back his camera from her.

"Let's see, did they get the pictures better than they got them last year..." Andy whispers to himself, but just audibly enough to where people next to him could hear.

You laugh to yourself as you recall last year's pictures. The teacher that was taking them took nothing but blurry pictures or ones where some of us had our eyes closed, there was only one picture that was decent enough that we printed out for ourselves.

You all look over Andy's shoulder or arm as best as you could as he went through the pictures, deleting a few blurry or bad ones here and there, and laughing at the shots of the funny ones.

"We actually got good pictures this year, guys. I'll look through them some more and print out the best ones for all of us." Andy says, turning off his camera and putting it with the rest of his stuff.

"Are you gonna want some prints too?" Andy asks Amy.

She looks at Pete for a second, and then back at Andy, "Yes please, that'd be great."

Andy sends back a thumbs up to her, and Pete takes her back to the "dance floor". That is, if you could even call it that.

"Alright, I'm gonna go find a girl to dance with, maybe more than just to dance with if I'm lucky. Peace!" Joe says before walking away.

"I don't know about that, but maybe you'll be lucky enough to earn a punch to the face this time," You call out, earning a glare and an angry grumble from Joe.

There was a silence for a minute or so after you laughed at what you said and the reaction you got from him. But it wasn't an awkward silence, just one where there was nothing to say afterwards.

Patrick takes a long and deep inhale, not letting it out before saying something. "Maybe I'll find a girl to dance with." Patrick clears his throat and and adjusts his glasses as he turns to look at you.

"I'm sure you will, Patrick. Go to the floor and ask someone." You say, smiling as you encourage him.

Patrick lets out a sigh and looks down at his feet, then back up to you, avoiding your eyes as he speaks. "I'm trying to.. What I'm trying to say is do you want to dance with me, Y/n." He stutters out at first, speaking a little faster as he says the rest. His cheeks and the tips of his ears were flushed red.

You freeze in shock and stare at him with wide eyes, your mouth was slightly agape and you would only assume that your face was probably the same shade of red, if not darker than Patrick's based off of the way you can feel your cheeks starting to burn up rather quickly.

"Um, uh, y-yeah. I'd um, I'd love to, yeah." You stutter out awkwardly, smiling at Patrick.

You look out of the corner of your eye to see Andy with his face in his hands, shaking his head as he does so.

Patrick awkwardly holds his hand out, looking everywhere but at you. You take it and walk with him to the dance floor, and just as you do, a sappy slow dance song comes on.

How on earth could this be one of the only times that a slow dance song comes on? You would've assumed that Pete might've been up to it, but it was probably some unlucky 1 out of 1,000 chance.

"Uh, Y/n? Can I please have this dance with you?" Patrick awkwardly asks. You turn your head to look at him then quickly look at your shoes after a few seconds out of embarrassment.

"Yeah, that'd be great." You say quietly with a smile. You laugh to yourself, glad that you weren't the only one that was nervous. And you had no idea how, but you felt your cheeks getting even hotter than they were before.

You and Patrick face towards each other and you awkwardly place your hands on his shoulders. It was especially awkward when Patrick asked if he could put his hands on your waist.

You both stayed silent and avoided eye contact for the first couple of moments of you dancing together. And no matter how much you were enjoying it, how euphoric it felt, you just couldn't look at him. Though not in a bad way.

You finally look at each other and Patrick gives you a nervous smile, his cheeks still a reddish tint.

You smile back at him and wrap your arms loosely around the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you. It was a bold move even for yourself, and you quickly regret it, wondering if it might've been too bold of a move.

Patrick stiffens a bit, but quickly relaxes and proceeds to dance with you, slowly swaying with you to the music.

"Hey, Patrick. Can I tell you something?" You say, your voice shaking a little.

"Yeah, go ahead." Patrick says just as equally nervous, or at least it sounded like it.

You think for a moment, debating whether if you should tell him what you were going to say or not, then finally deciding you should.

"You can't laugh at me or anything, please." You hesitate for a second. Patrick looks at you with his brows furrowed, what seemed to be a confused look.

"Um, I like you. More than one should be for being just friends with someone. I- what I'm trying to say is that I like you romantically." You admit, shutting your eyes closed in fear for what his face would turn into.

Patrick stops dancing, yet not letting go of you and stays silent for a few moments. You open your eyes to look at him, knitting your eyebrows together to try and pinpoint what exactly his expression was, but not being able to.

Patrick pulls you closer and gently places a shaky hand on your cheek and leans in to kiss you, his lips touching yours.

You freeze for a moment in shock, but ease into it and kiss him back, wrapping your arms a little more tightly around the back of his neck to pull him down, deepening the kiss.

It was definitely an inexperienced kiss, not that you would know that, being this was your first, but it soon turned into a more enjoyable one.

You two pull back, breathing just a little heavier than you normally would. You two looked at eachother, laughing lightly to yourself as you feel the high of exhilaration.

Both of you don't say anything the rest of the song, you just continue to dance holding each other closely, your face buried into his neck and his cheek pressed to your hair.

The song ends, too quickly for your own liking, and another upbeat pop song starts to play.

You hold onto each other for a while longer.

"Do you wanna go back to the bleachers?" You ask, finally pulling away from him.

"Yeah, there's not really much to dance to with this music, it's kinda weird when everyone else isn't with us." Patrick replies, adjusting his glasses.

You smile and slip your hand into his, walking with Patrick to the bleachers where Andy was.

Patrick stops when you two were a few feet away from the bleachers. "Am I just going insane, or do I see Andy making out with that girl over there."

"I was just thinking the same thing." You say, your mouth slightly agape at the sight.

Someone from behind grabs your shoulder, you turn around to see who it was and to no surprise, it was Pete.

"Hey guys, what are you two doing standing here like weirdos? Why aren't you guys dancing together?" Pete says, shaking both yours and Patrick's shoulder gently.

"Because we were just looking at that." Patrick says, briefly pointing at the scene happening on the bleachers.

Pete looks in between you and Patrick to look. "Oh wow, they're really going for it, huh? When did that happen?" He says, seemingly having the same reaction as you and Patrick did.

"We have no clue. We came here to plan on sitting with Andy and it was just already kind of happening. Oh, by the way, where's your little girlfriend, by the way?" You ask, teasing Pete.

Pete rolls his eyes at you and his face quickly turns into one of what you immediately recognised as mischief, one that induced fear upon you. He was about to say or do something you knew you wouldn't like or be happy about.

"How was that kiss by the way? It looked like you two really enjoyed it, me and Amy are happy for you! Maybe we should tell the guys so they can congratulate you guys too!" Pete says enthusiastically with a shit eating grin on his face.

Patrick looks at you with a mortified look, you mirror his expression and turn back to Pete. You couldn't find any snarky remark to say back to Pete, you were just completely speechless after what he had just said.

Amy walks up to Pete and taps him on the shoulder and puts her hand in his when he notices it's her.

"Hey guys! Are you having fun! I saw you two dancing a little while ago." Amy says, a sweet smile on her face.

"Oh uh, hey Amy. Yeah, yeah, we're having fun. Um, what about you?" You ask, stumbling over your words a bit, still thinking about what Pete said.

"Thats good. Me and Pete going to go back to dance, do you guys want to come with us? The dance is about to end in 15 minutes."

You open your mouth to talk only to have Patrick beat you to a response.

"No, we're alright. But thank you for asking, Amy." Patrick replies.

"Alright, have fun! If you need us we'll be somewhere in there." Amy says, grabbing Pete's arm and dragging him to the dance floor. Pete looks over his shoulder and sticks his tongue out at you and Patrick.

"Do you wanna go outside?" Patrick asks, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah. It's kind of noisy in here." You respond, following along with Patrick. You slipped your hand into his as you continued to walk with him.

You now realized just how sweaty you were. You don't know if it was because of how hot it was inside of the gym or if it was because you were with Patrick. Now that you think about it, it's kind of gross.

As you walk out the doors, you feel the cool wind blow on your face, immediately cooling down how hot your cheeks felt. You both sit down on the grass.

There was a calm silence around you, only having faint music playing from the gym and distant chatter of students and teachers keeping the noise present.

"I would've never thought that would've ever happened." Patrick says, a faint blush on his face as he looked in the distance.

"What? Pete finally getting a girlfriend or Andy making out with that girl?" You snort.

Patrick looks at you and rolls his eyes. "Well, yeah maybe the Pete part, but I mean us. It sounds so cliche but I wouldn't think that I would ever get to, well y'know.." Patrick shrugs.

The way the moonlight illuminated his face made the light freckles peppered across his face more visible, and the way it made the colour of his eyes look all the more beautiful. The chill of the wind made his nose slightly red, and his cheeks had a flush to them.

You smile and look at him. "Honestly, me either. But I'm glad it did."

"I don't know what they put in that punch because I do NOT remember being that confident or bold." You add on, laughing a bit.

You lay down on the grass and look up at him, admiring his features like you did the same way you did the day he was helping you pick out your dress, except when he looked at you this time, you didn't look away.

"It's kind of cold." Patrick says, rubbing the tip of his nose.

You smile and laugh, getting up. "Do you want to go back inside?"

"No, I think I'm ready to go back home. It's too crowded and hot in the gym and too cold out here." Patrick replies, getting up off of the grass and offering you a hand to pull you up from the grass.

"I agree with you there. Do you think you can drive me to my house?" You get up, brushing your dress of from any dirt of dead grass that may have stuck onto the fabric.

Patrick nods and you both walk to his car.

"Should we say bye to the guys before we leave?" You say, getting into the passenger seat of his car and closing the door.

"No I think they should be fine. And Pete would probably just tease us." Patrick says and starts his car, pulling out and exiting the car lot to get onto the road.

The drive to your house was almost the same as the ride Joe gave you to the school, but it wasn't an awkward silence that filled the car but rather a pleasant and calm one.

After about 10 minutes of driving Patrick pulled into your driveway. Both of you got out, as Patrick had insisted on walking you to your doorstep.

"Thank you, Patrick. I had fun with you tonight."

"Yeah, of course. I had fun with you too." Patrick smiles.

You grab onto Patrick's shoulders and lean towards him, gently placing a peck on his cheek, pulling him into a hug after.

"Goodnight, Patrick. I'll talk to you later on, okay?" You say, burying your face into his shoulder.

"Goodnight, Y/n. I'll talk to you later." Patrick says, placing a kiss to your temple.

You two break the embrace and you turn around to open your door, walking into your house and closing the door.

All of the lights were off and it was silent, so you would only assume that your dad was already asleep.

You take off your shoes and take them in your hands and walk into your bedroom.

You close your door and change out of your clothes, throwing them into your hamper and changing into your pajamas.

You smile to yourself as you recall the events of the night, only to be interrupted by a knock at your door.

"Yes?" You shout before opening your door.

"Your friend Andy is on the phone right now, he wanted to talk to you. Here, can you bring it back to me when you're done?" Your dad says, handing you his phone.

"Yeah, of course, dad. Thank you." You say before going to sit onto your bed.

"Hey, Andy, what's up?" You say, holding the phone to your ear.

"Where are you? We've been looking for you for like 15 minutes now." Andy says worriedly.

"I'm at home right now, Patrick drove me. Why didn't you call my cell?"

"Because when I called you I heard your phone ringing in your bag. You left your bag and jacket over here and we thought you were still here because it was left here on the bleachers." Andy scolded.

"Shit! I'm sorry, dude. I didn't mean to worry you." You apologize.

"It's fine. But I'm kind of upset you didn't say bye to me. Do you want me to drop your stuff off later?"

"I'm sorry, I should've said bye. I'll make it up to you, Andy I promise. But if you could bring my stuff for me later on tomorrow that would be awesome."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight, Andy. Thank you."

"No problem." Andy says, hanging up.

You shut the phone and get up, walking to your dads room to put his phone onto his nightstand and walk back to your room.

You close your door and pull your covers up and slip into your bed, immediately falling asleep due to the exhilaration of the night wearing off.

<Now playing - Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy>

3:00 ─────────ㅇ 3:00

AN; I think I started this in early December and now it's already the third of February so it's been a process. I'm sorry this took me so long to post but it's probably one of my longest works and because I also kept hitting parts of the story that I had no clue what to write. I do hope that you enjoyed it, though. I also have another Patrick Stump x Reader fic that you could find in my masterlist.

[vaguely-concerned]

I listened to the first episode of vows and vengeance and... god. god forget waiting for veilguard, how the fuck am I going to survive the wait between each episode of this???? tl;dr: I loved it, I love dragon age, I love audio dramas, I love voice acting and music, I love thedas, I am IMMEDIATELY painfully invested. if nadia doesn't get her sweet fancy lad back whole and unharmed by the end of this I am killing everyone in tevinter and then myself.

more thoughts under the cut! not a lot of deep analysis just flailing and feelings today haha

I hadn't realized that elio would be a magister! idk if it was in any marketing beforehand, but if so I didn't pay enough attention to remember it lol. he sounds like he might be prime lucerni-material politically, so I'm a little sad we didn't get even a subtle dorian or maevaris easter egg in there, as far as I could tell, but hey, you can't have everything. (honestly unless BIG changes are upon us (which tbf they probably are) it might be just as well that this went down as it did, b/c I'm not sure how long elio would survive in the magisterium that we've heard tell of, he's quite -- either soft and shortsighted, or politically reckless, I think nadia was right there.)

I found nadia, elio and their dynamic very effectively introduced -- the fact that they haven't quite figured out how to be good to each other yet but so clearly both desperately want to be and are willing to work for that is a smart place to start the story. it makes it feel all the sadder if they never get the chance to work it all out, because I think they could have every chance to, given the time.

The voice actors for the central characters are all wonderful (orin's was. fine! doing a good enough job with a slightly more thankless role, let's call it that.) also so nice to hear people humming the tavern songs we heard in inquisition. god I love thedas I'm so glad we're getting to go right back in there soon

The episode was longer than I thought they would get, and it was all the better for it! I'm so happy it seems they'll get the space they need to tell this story, especially since nadia appears to be setting out on quite a continent-spanning odyssey here (I'm so sorry about your life nadia)

SOLAS solas solas! solas. solas!!!! he is such a BITCH and I love him so much. he is being aggressively himself and I didn't realize just how much I'd missed him. no one gets me frustrated quite like you baby you know better than this I KNOW you could know better than this why do you never learn a single thing I know you have the capacity somewhere in there. patron saint of endlessly fucking up. WHERE do you get off being condescending to nadia when all your ~*brilliant*~ plans backfire catastrophically on you every single time solas. yeah of course you're sorry, and you fucking better be, if she stabbed you I'd be sad but also like 'yeah I mean you had that one coming sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯' about it!!! what the fuck. come home please

such a weird feeling to have him be an ominous stranger on the road to elio and nadia while I was standing there with my arms crossed and my foot tapping irritably like 'oh so now he shows his face, there he is. my husband. my ex-husb -- my nemesis and poor little meo -- it's complicated alright. he's in the dog house, but the dog house he's in is still mine'. I do adore how unstoppably solas clearly wants to be a teacher, he works so hard to be mysterious and aloof but the lonely insufferable chatterbox knowitall jumps out at every turn.

neve trying and almost succeeding in freezing the whole bay I'm

like. okay then! much to think about

the only thing I'm not a big fan of is the characters calling out in-game spells in sort of a self-indulgent way, but hell if I know how else you'd communicate exactly what's going down magically in an audio format like this so y'know. very easily forgiven from my side honestly

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not calling out my little brother on his offensive behavior earlier?

For a bit of backstory, I (F21) am autistic. I was diagnosed was diagnosed with ADHD and autism at age 7. I have been in and out of therapy for it (against my will) until I turned 19 and went to college. For years, I have been trying to prove to others that I am capable of taking care of myself. I don't feel bad about being autistic. It's not an injury or a misfortune or whatever. It just is. But I don't speak up for myself when people insult me (directly or indirectly) for it.

I've been called crazy by my entire elementary math class for a class assignment (we had to say one nice word about each of our classmates). I've been called deviant by my college friends. I've been infantilized and compared to a pet by literal adults even after I tell them that I am autistic. I haven't been good at reprimanding this behavior, and I think I might've gotten used to it, hence why I even allowed my little brother to call me the r word in the first place. I haven't been mentally well for a good while, and I've only recently started to get the hang of managing my ADHD symptoms, so only now have I started paying attention to other people's lives.

Now here's where I may be the AH. My (M14) brother is neurotypical, and although I haven't called him out before for calling me the r word, he recently started calling me it in front of his friends. He's also in a lot of trouble as well for being racist and sexist at school as well, and I've started to wonder if I've been too soft on him. I've been going to a out of state college, so it's not like I was too involved in his life, but I was present, on occasion, when he was saying offensive things with his friends. I feel that as the adult in the situation, I should have intervened. I feel that my autism or mental state doesn't change the fact that in those situations, I am the responsible party. I feel that by being non confrontational, I was hurting my little brother. He trusts me, and I want him to be able to rely on me for help, but I feel I need to stop reinforcing this behavior. I just don't know how.

Maybe it's a too little, too late thing, but I'm really worried about him. He has a different dad, so he passes for hispanic, and I'm white, so I've always been unsure what role to take to confront him about his racism. I've experienced sexual harassment before, but I don't know how to talk about that with him either. I've told him multiple times that I am uncomfortable when he says things of sexual nature, but he hasn't stopped trying to get me to listen to his favorite (highly sexual) rap music. The one thing I was certain about that I could potentially ask him to stop was regarding my autism. I thought, since it was personal to me, he would understand and would stop. Maybe it would help him reflect on how others feel regarding the other stuff if I set one boundary. So I tried to ask him politely to stop making fun of my autism because it makes me uncomfortable. He got really upset and asked why I had a problem with it now instead of before. I've always been uncomfortable, I just never said anything. It's not like I can go back in time to change my past behavior, but I can see his point. I never called him out on it before, so why now? We aren't talking to each other anymore, but I can't help but think about the role I've taken in his life to make him act the way he does.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[nyrasbloodyclover]

ghost stories (tate langdon x reader)

a/n: FIRST OCTOBER FIC LET'S GOOO

It was the beginning of October when my family decided to move into our new house. I was already in love with it, even though my mom said it made her feel depressed by just looking at it.

It was much bigger than our previous home, so the exploring part made me excited. We dropped our bags and I immediately went to see each room.

It was getting pretty dark but I didn't bother turning on the lights. The air smelled of rain as I entered one of the rooms. It looked like it belonged to a boy, probably around my age. There were a lot of records of many different artists, some books and even an empty hamster cage.

"What are you doing in my room?" I turned and almost screamed when a boy appeared behind me. He looked young, with blond curls and pretty brown eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I finally asked when I gathered myself.

"This is my room." He was still not answering my question.

"We just moved in, and I don't know what are you talking about or how you even managed to get in without us noticing but if you plan on staying, I suggest you explain that to me."

And he did explain. But how was I supposed to believe him that he was a ghost who died in this house and is trapped in here forever?

"Prove it." I crossed my arms.

"Fine," he almost rolled his eyes. Then he disappeared. Like literally. From thin air.

"What the fu—" But then he appeared. I shook my head in disbelief and started to laugh. "Oh my god, that's so fucking cool."

"You think so? I'm Tate, by the way." He looked genuinely happy to introduce himself to me.

And so I became friends with one of the ghosts that lived in our house. We talked most of the time, he made fun of my music taste and made me listen to Nirvana (which I surprisingly liked). I read to him sometimes and he listened. He was an amazing listener.

But my parents didn't know about him and I meant to keep it that way.

He was okay with that and it was pretty easy to hide him. I mean whenever we were in my room and someone tried to come in, Tate just had to disappear.

The more we hung out, the closer we became. Sitting beside each other on my bed turned into him laying between my legs while I did my homework and he listened to his music. But we never tried to point that out. At least I haven't.

I pretended not to notice him drawing circles on my skin or playing with my hair, his hands wandering carefully, trying not to be too obvious. That made me feel...something. Something towards him. I hated it because we had such great friendship and admitting my feelings would just ruin it.

Until one night I was pissed about my school and I was just rambling to him, saying the worst stuff I could about everything and I had a feeling that he was trying not to laugh at me, but I didn't care.

He called me to join him on my bed and take a break from studying because it was getting late. For the first time, I listened to him.

And at some point, both of us fell asleep. I was exhausted and my body was screaming thank you when I finally closed my eyes.

But in the middle of the night, I woke up in panic because I never planned to fall asleep. I didn't even finish all my work!

In all my distress, I woke up Tate and he looked at me with his adorable sleepy eyes while I ran around the room and gathered all my books. He realized what I was doing and immediately stood up with intention to drag me back to bed.

"No, Tate, I have to finish this!"

"Relax. You need sleep. It's three in the morning."

"Yes, but how will I sleep when I know I left half of my assignments unfinished?"

He smiled innocently at me while I looked at him, not understanding his sudden mood change.

"I can help you fall asleep. If you want to." I looked at him, then at my books.

I was still confused. "I do, but...You have sleeping pills or something?"

At that he grinned at the floor and my chest fluttered.

"Let's just get to bed. I'll show you, but you have to relax." I couldn't hear a thing in that moment, not even the rain, not the pounding in my chest. I wasn't oblivious anymore. I knew what he meant and I still let him do whatever he pleased.

In seconds I was on bed with Tate slowly climbing on top of me. My face was burning and I couldn't see straight, but I didn't move.

He slowly put his hand on my pants, tucking his fingers beneath the waistband. "May I?"

I just nodded, not being able to form a proper sentence, but it was enough for him to take both, my pants and my underwear down.

His dark eyes were literally glowing while his mouth watered at the sight of me. Tate spread my legs and lowered himself enough to reach my aching cunt.

He looked up, smiling innocently before he went to work. His tongue licked me, up and down and I immediately grabbed his blond locks for support. He repeated the movement and it made me want to let out ungodly sounds, but I remembered we weren't alone and my parents were probably sleeping. If they found us like this, with Tate's head between my legs and my fingers in his hair...I would be joining Tate at being dead.

He put one finger in while his tongue circled my swollen clit and I accidentally pulled his hair. He let out a soft groan and I almost smirked for myself. I did it again and Tate groaned into me.

He didn't plan on stopping, apparently. Tate wanted me to see stars. I just wasn't sure how was this going to help with my sleep. I felt like I wasn't going to be able to close an eye for the rest of the night.

Tate decided to add another finger and I almost lost it there, but I couldn't let myself ruin this perfect moment. Not yet.

"If I add one more will you stop being to stubborn?"

"Let's find out." And he wasn't kidding. He stretched me put enough to put his third finger in and I moaned into my hand, not being able to control myself anymore.

He continued working with his tongue and it didn't take me long after that to lift my hips as I came on his mouth. He pressed his hand over my stomach to pin me back on bed as I clenched around his fingers.

He got up, licking his fingers and cleaning up his swollen mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. He took it off and did the same with my mess.

My legs were weak, I could barely change, but he helped me and got under the covers.

I joined him and realized that I haven't once thought about my assignments.

"Tate?"

"Yes?"

"Are we still friends?"

"Of course. Especially when you're in the need of sleeping pills."

I fell asleep with the weight of his hand on me while rain pounded on my window.

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Wolff/Sekemoto

Granny's warmth

Later. By now it was early evening. After Sam came home from school, he was still quite quiet. But he had been given some homework to do. “Thornton, can… Can you help me with these tasks?"/ ‘Um, sure, let me see…’.

The tasks were not unsolvable, but Sam only joined the class late. As a result, he is a little behind on some things. But he quickly understands the connections, which then lead to solutions in the end. “OK, I didn't get it into my head that quickly back then. That was good"/ ‘thanks… There's someone at school who I've known a bit longer’.

“Oh yeah? And who is it?"/ ”Malcolm Landgraab. He's just as clever as me”. Thornton had to smile and looked a little skeptical. “aha, you mean, yes?"/ ”mhm. And we can draw at school when there's a break. Someone made music today… That was great"/ ‘So… Do you like the school?’. Sam looked at his paper and shrugged his shoulders. “I can't say yet, but I'm going back tomorrow”..

Morgana listened to the conversation while she summarized a few things for work on her laptop. She was amazed that Sam showed little sadness despite the great loss of his grandmother. Either he was adept at hiding his grief or he was processing everything a little differently. “I'll get dinner ready for us.”.

For dinner, Morgana had made something she hadn't had for a long time. And she happened to have the ingredients in the house. Even if the sauce came out of a bag. “I hope you still like spaghetti?"/ ”mhm. Dad liked it too, I think"/ ‘Yes, I remember when I was at the restaurant once, he was there too and he ate a big plate of spaghetti, hn.’.

“I overheard your conversation earlier, Sam… You met Malcolm?"/ ”mhm. I knew him from kindergarten… But he wasn't there often because he was always sick"/ ”that's right, he didn't have such a strong immune system as a small child. It's slowly getting better now… He's a really nice boy. Maybe you'll become really good friends later on”.

“Let's see… Did you actually have many friends, Thornton?"/ ‘Me? Hm, not many, no… But there was one I did all sorts of nonsense with’/ ‘What?’/ ‘Um, I think I'd better tell you when you're the right age’/ ”Hm… All right. I'll go to bed after dinner"/ ‘o.k., would you like…’/ ‘No, no bedtime story.’..

After dinner, Sam retired to his room. He changed into his sleeping clothes and was about to go to bed. Then he noticed that Morgana had put his grandmother's book on his bedside table. He looked at it silently and without any expression on his face. “Dad said it contains everything I need to know. I haven't had that feeling since Grandma left”.

“So that means…That no one will die in the next few days or…hours. Hh-hh…It's strange not to hear her breathing. I wonder if she'll mind if I sleep in her bed? Mine always squeaks like that…”. Sam thought long and hard about whether he should lie in his grandmother's bed. But he just felt the need to be a little close to her…

What no one really paid attention to in the last few days was a letter on Yumi's bedside table. But today it caught Sam's attention. He took a quick look at it. It said “For Morgana & Thornton” in small letters. “hm, I'll give rhem the envelope tomorrow. Grandma's bed… It's much warmer than mine”. He quickly slipped under the covers and fell asleep faster than the nights before.

The adults are usually the last to go to bed. But when Thornton came into the bedroom, Morgana was sobbing in front of the crib. “Is something wrong?”/ “h-h, no, I… I was just thinking about how she used to stand here and talk to Maureen”/ “She really liked the little one”.

He went to her and gave her a loving, comforting hug. Then she plucked at a crease in his sweater with her fingertips. “Yes, she really has. And Maureen will soon be a bit bigger again. Time goes by so quickly"/ ”That's true. I miss her too, even if it was strange every time she thought I was her son"/ ‘but you always acted the right way’.

“So you're… A little proud of me?” he asked in a quiet, almost mischievous tone. This allowed him to elicit a small grin from her. “Yes, I'm really proud of you, hn. But… Don't look at me like that, I…"/ ”Hey, don't worry, I'm not in the mood either. But can I still look at you?"/ "‘hnhn, sure.’.

While her parents went to bed, Maureen looked around a little. Her field of vision didn't give her many options, but sometimes there was a fine veil that hovered over her bed. It made her smile. As if there was something familiar there.

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@greenplumbboblover ⭐