#i haven't had time like this since college
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LIKE A LOVE SONG- JOSH WASHINGTON
pairing: best friend!josh x fem!reader
word count- noo idea yet... writing this rn
summary: you and josh have been best friends for years, and the crush youve had on him hasnt subsided. things are all fine and dandy, until one night, the cat is pulled out of the bag...
warnings: implied SMUT, hella dirty talk, voygerism, dry humping, josh being a huge tease, pet names, some mocking, reader and josh are intoxicated, biting, etc etc
notes: hey so i need this man sexually! thats it thats all, im gonna open my account up to write for more fandoms and hop around:) just testing out the waters with this one
"josh we are sooo gonna get caught.." you slurred, hiccuping with a giggle as he tugged your arm, pulling you down the empty hallway, leaving your scattered friendgroup behind in the abyss.
a glint was in his eye as he looked back at you, full of mischief and hunger, and you couldn't help but bat your eyelashes at him. he was so dreamy it was making you swoon.
you had always thought he was beautiful- like a dream come alive. ever since he had accidently bumped into you during freshman year of college, you had be under his trance.
"shit, shit i'm so sorry, i shouldve watched where i was going. are you okay?" he had asked as he quickly bent down to help you gather your spilled papers. it was straight out of a chick flick, and you had finally felt like the main character instead of the extra.
he made you feel so special, always making flirty comments (though he did that with everyone), and giving you looks that had your head spinning.
tonight was no different.
the booze in your system made you extra giddy, and you felt his grip tighten as the two of you neared an empty bedroom down the hall.
not a doubt had passed through your mind when josh asked if you wanted to escape from the group for a while- clearly a bit intoxicated, but still stable enough to make a coherent decision. not in a million years would you pass up a chance to be alone with him.
"isn't that what makes it so much more fun?" he cooed, tugging you into the empty room, slamming the door behind you with a whoosh. without a second to gather your breath he had pinned you back against the door, hand darting out to turn the lock.
"do you actually-" you hiccuped nervously. "-wanna do something with me? do you wanna have sex?" you giggled, your bluntness making him laugh.
"yes, i wanna have sex with you. i have for years. is that okay?"
your eyes widened. did this man just say for years?
"oh."
he bit his lip, eyes roaming down your body, stopping to admire every trance from under your fitted clothes. "you gonna let me fuck you? or are you too scared chris is gonna wanna join in?"
"oh shut up."
he smirked, breath hot and heavy on your skin as he placed a soft kiss on your collarbone, nipping it with his teeth enough to make you hiss in shock.
"he does, cause you're so sexy. like a porn star. you have such a tight bod. wonder if your pussy is just as tight."
his dirty talk had your face heating, brain turning to mush as you moaned, leaning into his touch.
"you know how much i've wrapped my hands around my cock wishinng it was you? too many times." you squealed as he bit down on your neck, hard, hard enough to make a mark for anyone with a set of eyes to see, but you didnt care.
"j-josh fuck i-"
"whats up baby? need some cock to make you think straight? you've been giving me those pretty googly eyes all night, thinking i haven't noticed. so naive." he cooed as you ran your fingers through his hair, back arching into his touch as his large hands traveled down to your thighs before swooping you up so you clung wrapped around his torso.
"you're so fuckin hot. makes me so hard just thinking of you."
you rutted against him, sighing at the friction it caused, sending shocks down your spine stright to your core. his lips found yours, teeth and tounge clashing, nothing nice about the kiss. it was rough and hard and full of need.
"fuckin pathetic, humping me like some bitch in heat." he growled, his mocking turning you on even more. you reached down, struggling to tug at his belt, needing it off.
the less layers between you two- the better.
you gasped as your wooden support was removed, as he took you over and tossed you down on the bed with ease- as if you were a doll. you barely had a second to look at him before he was on top of you, smirk coy as he rutted his denim clothed cock on your cunt, already soaked through your shorts and tights.
he was toying with you.
"im gonna fuck you so hard you're not gonna be able to walk for days." he murmred, lifting your hips up as he tugged at your bottoms, nearly ripping them in half.
"then how are you gonna explain to the group why you're limping around like some fawn hm? cause joshey fucked you so good and so deep and your tight little cunt couldnt take it."
#josh washington#josh washington smut#until dawn 2#until dawn#until dawn josh#until dawn x reader#until dawn remake#josh washington x reader#josh washington x you#joshua washington#josh washington imagines#rami malek#rami malek x reader#until dawn remaster#until dawn fanart#sam until dawn#Spotify
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Hi Mark,
My name is Isaac Holguin. I sent a detailed email regarding your work on the color pie over the years to [email protected]. I hope that is the correct avenue to reach out to you. I had the pleasure of being answered on this blog as well, so I thought I'd double check by contacting you here. In case the email listed isn't in service anymore, I've copied my message below. I hope this reaches you and that you're doing well. If you're able, I'd love to hear back at [email protected]. Thanks for all you do!
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Hello Mr. Rosewater,
My name is Isaac Holguin and I'm a nurse studying leadership and education in Tucson, Arizona. Before I get into the topic of my email, I'd just like to say thank you for being a spokesperson for Magic the Gathering all these years! I've played the game since I was thirteen years old, all through college, and well into my career. Magic the Gathering has helped me make new friends and deepen bonds with people I already had in my life. Though I've stopped participating in recent years, the game will always hold a special place in my heart and I've still got an Alpha Serra Angel that is as old as I am!
One of the best memories I have from my time with Magic was diving into the color wheel breakdown series from your "Drive to Work" podcast. During my pursuit of a Bachelors in Nursing Science, I often cited the color wheel as a tool to determine personality traits and compared it to other topics in my studies. Now that I'm pursuing my Master's degree in Nursing Education, I'm interested to see if there were any references or inspirations for the development of the color pie. With the recent popularity of the Myers-Briggs assessment (16 Personalities), Ten Faces of Innovation, and other similar tools I'd like to try and adapt the color pie as a leadership/personality assessment. I understand there will be multiple steps involved to publish such a study with respect to Hasbro and Magic the Gathering as a company, but I would like to attempt to lay the foundation of this project during my studies.
The goal of this project would be to introduce an existing, incredible, fun, and easy to use tool to a vast new audience. Helping others acknowledge that all aspects of the personalities presented exist within them to some degree and can evolve over time has become a core belief for me both personally and professionally. Examples of "your greatest weakness is your greatest strength pushed too far" and the idea that the capacity for good and evil exists in any aspect of a personality are incredible insights that I haven't seen cited enough throughout my studies. My wildest hope is that this tool would be utilized in coursework for multiple professions, similar to the curriculum I'm studying now, to help future leaders reflect on their strengths and develop effective leadership styles.
In short, I hope that you're doing well and would love to hear your insights, recommendations, and references for the work you've so passionately brought to thousands of others of the years. Even if you're unable to share certain aspects of your work, I'd like you to know that your endeavors have not only brought relief and happiness to healthcare workers like me, but that you've inspired so many others to apply the lessons of fictional works to improve our reality. The lessons gained from my long history with this franchise have helped me connect to others in their most vulnerable moments, and improve their quality of life. Thank you for all that you've done, and I wish you continued success in a field you've already become an exemplary expert in.
Sincerely,
Isaac Holguin
BSN, RN
I’m always excited to hear about ways people can use the color pie outside the context of the game. I’m not sure what I can do to help you.
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Hello!! Your aot fics are so adorable!! Especially that Eren one, I really loved it. Since you said you would expand on it in the future, I was wondering if you'd want to do something like they get into a fight or something? Maybe one of them gets too busy with work/classes and just ends up neglecting the other and it leads to some hurt but hey, they're soulmates. They find their way back. If not though, just some more college! Eren x best friend! Reader? I love it!!
This happened before they got together, a moment that made Eren realise he would rather chop an arm and a leg off than make his best friend upset again.
At the time, y/n had a falling out with her group of friends, a misunderstanding happened and one of them blamed her which made everyone else turn their backs on her and unfriend her.
Eren on the other hand was saving up money so he could spend the three months of summer break at a specific beach he wanted to surf at, so he was trying to balance long hours of school and work and whenever he had free time he was extremely tired and most likely sleeping. He didn't know what was going on with y/n, in fact, this was the longest they went without talking to each other. He's embarrassed to say this but he would've forgotten about her if it wasn't for the fact he was constantly getting notifications from her.
If he was honest, he did get annoyed, but he tried to ignore it all. She was bombarding him with calls and texts, asking him where he was and why he wasn't answering her. What he didn't know was that y/n was trying to seek comfort from the only person she knew wouldn't hurt her the way the people she used to call her friends did, and was panicking when he kept leaving her on read or delivered.
One evening, there was a frantic series of knocks on Eren's door which woke him up in a panic thinking something was wrong. He opened the door to find his best friend standing on the opposite side, a grin on her face, “Eren! I've been knocking for so long, why didn't you answer?”
He let out a shaky sigh when he realised nothing was wrong and let her in, “fuck, y/n... I thought something bad happened.”
“Probably has something to do with the fact you look like you haven't slept in a decade.” Y/n raised an eyebrow while taking off her shoes, “what's up with that ?”
She was trying her best to cover up the fact she was crying an hour ago. She stumbled across a picture that her ex best friend posted of all of her old friend group together with the caption that was clearly shady towards her. It made her have a full blown break down and she couldn't think about being with anyone after that other than her best friend.
Eren ignored what she said and tried to wipe the tiredness from his face. The day wasn't going well for him, he forgot to turn in his assignment, he messed up at work multiple times which made his boss scold him at the end of his shift, and many other things happened that ruined his day more and more. But he couldn't let her know, he didn't want to seem weak in front of her.
“Nothing, just... Long day.”
He sighed when she took a seat on his couch, he was hoping to finish his nap at least until dinnertime, but it seemed like she had other plans.
“Sooo, What have you been up to? other than ignoring my texts and calls.”
“You know I wouldn't ignore you on purpose, y/n.” he murmurs softly, a hint of frustration present in his tone.
She shrugs, arms folded tightly across her chest as though she was holding herself together. She thought after spending over an hour crying she would stop feeling so emotional, but clearly she thought wrong because a new wave of emotions hit her again. She can feel her throat tighten and the sting of tears pricking her eyes once more.
“I don't know, you've left me on read a lot for someone who's not doing it on purpose,” she mumbles and looks away from him, a slight tremble in her voice, “but why did I expect more, since that seems to be the treatment I'm getting from everyone.”
“alright listen,” The sudden shift in his tone made her head snap towards him, his voice was sharper now, she never heard him talk to her like that before, “I don't know what bullshit made you catch an attitude, but I'm not in the mood to tolerate it. You've got plenty of friends so go complain to them instead of bothering me, god!”
She watched him with wide eyes as he slumped back against the couch and threw an arm over his eyes followed by a long and frustrated sigh. She couldn't hold back anymore and silently let the tears go. She never expected such harsh words to come from Eren, someone who she trusted to never break her heart and hurt her She went to stand up, but he quickly put his other arm out to stop her,
“No, sit down, we have a lot of talking to do.”
“There's nothing else to say-” she tried to say while holding back her son's, but he cut her off.
“I need to apologise, so sit.”
She wiped the tears from her cheeks despite the fact she was still crying. He removed his arm from his face and sat up to face her. He could tell now that something happened that led to what she said, and he needed to get to the bottom of it, but he needed to address his actions first.
“I'm sorry I said that, I promise you I don't mean any word that came out of my mouth,” he gently took her hand in his, and she let him, too weak to fight him off, “I've just had a rough day, everything that could possibly go wrong did and it all pissed me off.”
She nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but he lifted his free hand, stopping her gently. He held her gaze to make sure he had her full attention before he continued speaking.
“With that being said, I shouldn't have let it out on you and I am willing to apologise a million times to show how much I regret my actions.”
“No it's okay, once is enough,” her voice was strained as she tried to keep her emotions in control so she wouldn't burst out in sobs, "it's just-” she looked down at their interviewing hands and sniffed, “I've had a couple of bad days, so many things kept piling up and you weren't with me like usual,” her voice broke, unable to hold back anymore as the tears flew down, “I felt so alone.”
Eren's heart shattered at the sight of her breaking down and immediately wrapped his arms around her to pull her to his chest, “shh, it's okay, let it all out, I've got you now.”
He let her cry for as long as she needed, offering her comforting touches and words, and slipping an apology here and there because despite her telling him one was enough, he still felt very guilty over what he said and as she told him what happened with her friend group and all the horrible things she heard them say behind her back, his guilt grew so heavy it brought tears to his eyes.
His best friend, his sweet angel, his entire world, how could anyone think she would do anything to hurt others? One time she felt bad because she didn't turn on her TV for over a month and she didn't want it to feel useless, how would someone who thought that try to harm a close friend of hers? He felt so mad, so angry, how could he not? They hurt his most precious person.
He tried to comfort her in any way he could to make up for the days he wasn't there, and it seemed like being held and heard was all she wanted from him, so he did, the only time he separated from her was to pick up the food delivery. She ended up spending the night and fell asleep on his chest after venting her heart out to him.
As he held her sleeping body close to his, he started thinking about all their previous arguments, and how they always resolved them on the spot, never going to sleep mad at each other. That ended up being brought up in a conversation while he was out with friends and how he doesn't like making or seeing her upset because he could physically feel her pain, like he was the one hurting.
“damn bro, that's some soulmates shit,” Connie said before taking a huge bite of the fried chicken they were eating but kept his mouth open to cool it down while huffing "ah fuck, too hot" which made Eren laugh.
“he's right though,” Armin chimes in, a soft smile on his face, “remember when you got mad at each other and stormed off but ended up both going to the same spot? Or how you both caught the flu at the same time even though you were in two different cities? Or how she was out of town but knew something bad happened to you when you broke your leg? I don't think those are normal things that happen to everyone.”
Soulmates... Yeah, they're right. He couldn't describe them in any better way. They're meant for each other, whether they like it or not.
#ᯓᡣ𐭩 requested story#ᯓᡣ𐭩 beloved's stories#divider by v6que#aot x reader#aot x you#aot x y/n#aot x female reader#aot x fem!reader#eren x reader#eren x y/n#eren x you#eren x female reader#eren x fem!reader#eren jeager x y/n#eren jeager x you#eren jeager x reader#eren jeager x fem!reader#eren jeager x female reader#aot fanfic#aot fluff#aot angst#eren jeager#eren fluff#eren jeager angst#eren jeager fluff#eren angst#self insert#best friend!eren#best friends to lovers#college student!eren
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[Image descriptions in order: photos of character bios from the Hazbin playbill, which say:
Charlie Morningstar: (Hotel Manager) Is honored to be starring in her first ever big series. Charlotte "Charlie" Morningstar is the princess of Hell, who has won numerous musical theater awards throughout college, none of which matter much in Hell but she is still very proud of them. She loves to bring people together through song and dance, and wants to remind everyone to please consider checking in to the Hazbin Hotel! She'd like to give a special thanks to her girlfriend Vaggie, and all of her friends and family. She hopes her mother is proud of her for this accomplishment!
Alastor: (Facility Manager) (all capitalized) About me? Hah! Wouldn't you like to know? i'm the host of hell's number #1 rated radio broadcast, the best and most reliable source of media in all of pentagram city. Despite my short absence, radio's back and better than ever! Catch my broadcasts everyday day at noon, or whenever I feel like it. Haven't had a lot of time for guest stars recently since I have been helping Charlie run the hazbin hotel but who knows?!?! You could be next! Just wrong me. do it. :)
Angel Dust: (Hotel Resident) Is an award- winning adult film actor, dancer and singer in Pentagram City. Angel made his first onscreen debut in the Valentino produced film "My Cousin and Me." He has since starred in others such as "Morning Coffee Gone Sexual?," "Stepdads 4," "The Mysterious Stranger enters.... You," "Boystory," and many more, including the upcoming "THE PURE BOY." Angel has won multiple SE-XXX-Y awards, including one for "Interrogation." Angel has a pig named Fat-Nuggets.
Vaggie: (Head of Operations) Is the head of operations at the Hazbin Hotel. Trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat, as well as synchronized dance. She is proud of her work keeping the hotel patrons focused on the road to redemption. Willing to do whatever it takes to make Charlie's dreams a reality and protect her and the hotel at all costs.
Husker: (Bartender) "Whaddaya wanna know? What's this for? Regardless, I ain't tellin' you nothin' about myself!"
Niffty: (Housekeeper) I'm Niffty! I clean! There is this little roach society under the floorboards of the Hotel! They think I can't hear them but I can. Sometimes I wait patiently by their hole and stab all who scurry out. It's like a little game we play, you come out, I stab you! This makes staying at the hotel so much fun! THAT and all the rooms it has, since they are always empty 'cause no one wants to stay there, it's really easy to clean! I like the smell of bleach.
Sir Pentious: (Hotel Resident) is an award-winning Hell inventor. He is the coolest and most popular "overlord" in all of Hell. Technically not an overlord-overlord but he's basically an overlord. He has done weapons development for Carmine Industries and Voxtek. He created his own helpers he ingeniously calls "egg bois" all by himself. He had absolutely no help at all with this incredible accomplishment. He is incredibly excited to be included in such a starring role, and to be able to thank his friends for the first time ever. He's never had friends to thank before. #Swag #Basedonfact
Lucifer Morningstar: (King of Hell / Sin of Pride) Ringleader of Hell, and Ruler of the Sins! Lucifer is most known for his performances with his iconic troupe the Deadly Sins! Lucifer loves his family and dedicates everything he does to them. He is the self-awarded #1 duck collector. He really misses his wife.]
[Carmilla Carmine: (Overlord) The CEO of Carmine Industries, top weapons dealer in Hell. Provider of the highest quality arms in all of Pentagram City. Carmilla's proudest achievement is discovering the uses of Angelic technology to advance Hell's weaponry. Awarded most-decorated Overlord. Host of the board of Pentagram City Overlords. For inquiries about Angelic-based weapons, an in-person consultation is required.
Rosie: (Overlord) wants everyone in Hell to know - if you on your soul, please stop by Rosie's you need something taken care of, for Emporium in the heart of Cannibal Town! If you're gonna sell your soul to somebody, leave everythin' to Rosie!
Sera: (Head Seraphim) The highest Seraphim, who works directly under the speaker of God. In charge of Heaven's hierarchy and laws. Highly respected and dedicated. Honored to be blessed with her position.
Emily: (Seraphim) The second Seraphim in Heaven, bringer of joy in charge of entertainment and comfort of all heavenly people. Bright-eyed and welcoming to everyone and open to fresh new ideas, her only goal is to spread happiness! "Spread love, and kill only with kindness!" :D
Mimzy: (Sinner) Still in her prime. Mimzy has starred in too many shows to name. Most of them were before she was in Hell, but they still count! She owns one of Hell's classiest clubs the "Ragtime." She appeared on a radio special with Alastor entitled "Singa for ya Dinna!" She is hoping she can star in more episodes, because she deserves it more than everyone else.
Vox: (Overlord) The CEO and founder of the Voxtek corporation, the Pentagram's #1 Media/ Entertainment provider. Hell's most powerful Overlord, director and humble entrepreneur. Award-winning producer, actor and Talk show host. Creator of over 50 classic hit shows such as "Yeah I Fucked Your Sister So What?" and "Late Nights with Vox." So when in Pentagram City remember to put your money and trust in the Voxtek brand. "Trust us with your entertainment!"
Valentino: (Overlord) Hell's sexiest overlord Multi-award winning porn film director. Known for his incredibly good looks and unmatched fashion sense. You will find him shooting up the night in the Entertainment District, owned and ruled states and I guess Vox. Be sure to check his latest film that's owning the charts "Cum My Way" starring Angel Dust, Hell's #1 whore/slut. Looking for a really good time? Call him ;)
Velvette: (Overlord) She/Her | Voxtek Influencer | Problematic | 100+ Million subs | #Girlboss - The youngest and spunkiest Overlord in all of Pentagram City. Running Hell's leading fashion empire directly out V Tower, her influence is ever-growing. Makee keeping up with the trends look easy! How does she do it? It's honestly kinda scary. Also known as the Head Developer of "Love Potions in collaboration with Valentino, known for their sweet taste and 100% customer satisfaction. Award winning spells and top selling brands.
Travis: (Sinner) First time directing but happy with the result, "The Pure Boy" is sure to become a classic amongst porn fanatics and collectors alike. Of course I'd be nothing without the support of Valentino and the Voxtek studio! Well not nothing I mean, I'm worth something? I mean come on, I was in the pilot. That's gotta mean something?? Right??
Buddy Mcsluggy: (Sinner) "Someone please touch my parts!"]
[Saint Peter: (Gatekeeper) is pretty stoked to be included! He is the lead singer in Heaven's royal choir as well as the founder of the Angelic drama club. He is an accomplished harp and french horn player in the Sera-ymphany orchestra. At least that's what he calls it!
Lute: (Lieutenant Exorcist) Classified information.
Adam: (Archangel/Leader of Exorcists/Dick Master) First Man, rock and roll legend, voted biggest dick in all of Heaven. Leader of Heaven's exorcist army, in charge of leading and commanding Hell's yearly extermination to prevent overpopulation. A total badass that ladies can't resist, except for that one chick, what's her fuck? Anyway he and Lute are coming, buckle up bitches!
Zestial: (Overlord) Oldest living Overlord in power. Once one of the most feared Overlords for many centuries, now effectively retired. Spends his days roaming Hell and enjoying the spoils. Currently assisting Carmilla with her endeavors due to them being on friendly terms and similar mindsets.
Cherri Bomb: (Sinner) She likes to fuck shit up, and cause problems on purpose. Self-awarded best explosions expert in Hell. Can't be fucked to say more, just happy to keep having fun!
Vivienne Medrano: (Creator/Director/Writer) Vivienne is beyond fucking thrilled, and truly honored to be in her first real authentic Playbill!!! AHHH!! She is glad she finally got to bring her very queer, very raunchy, animated musical cartoon to life! She is pretty happy her love for musical theater. and connections as a fan at the stage door really paid off. She is the founder of the indie animation studio SpindleHorse, and creator of Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Timber, Zoophobia, and much more (and more to come)! She played Grace in Urbana Elementary's production of "Annie".... in 5th grade.
SpindleHorse: (Production Studio) Founded by Vivienne Medrano to create the original Hazbin Hotel pilot, this is SpindleHorse's first ever collaboration with a major studio and first ever experience creating an episode of television for a client! The studio is proud of its incredible and talented team, and its work on the season and]
There's a lot of really interesting new information in the Hazbin Playbill!
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I have so much free time now that I am (temporarily) freed from the yoke of capitalism. What if, instead of doing anything useful, I spent 27 hours a day napping with my kitty cats?
#how could you tell me that i was wrong#i haven't had time like this since college#if then#it's literally unprecedented#and it's just so nice to rest#unencumbered#(except by the impending financial stress of my savings running out)#(but let's not think about that right now)
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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i started a supercorp portrait of a lady on fire au like three years ago. i'm never going to finish it, but the writing style is pretty cool, so i want to share it. so um enjoy the prologue and a bit of chapter one?
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Prologue. Bonnelles, France. 1786.
“First, my contours,” Kara said, her voice soft and level. She looked out upon the dozen or so young women, their eyes darting back and forth from their papers to Kara herself. “The outline,” she continued. The increasingly swift sound of scratching charcoal prompted Kara to further instruct, “Not too fast. Take time to look at me.” She paused. “See how my arms are placed.”
At that moment, Kara saw the painting.
She swallowed and took in a breath; she schooled her expression before letting out the air with a pathetically soft “My hands.” Her students’ gaze followed her verbal direction, now observing as Kara’s fingers curled with remembrance. Their own hands now began to sketch the slope of hers—the slope that had once coaxed breathy moans from a lover, the slope that had once created that very painting in all of its hollow longing.
Kara felt her heart rate accelerating, and her attempts at calming deep breaths only made her shoulders shake unsteadily. “Who brought that painting out?” Her eyes darted around, landing on each possible offender, as she tensed her core and adopted a stern countenance.
Every student dutifully turned to look at the work.
It was an especially young girl who finally lifted her hand. “I brought it. From the stock room. Should I have not?”
Kara’s “no” felt like a brick, its weight threatening to pry tears from her reddening eyes. So Kara took another swallow, a handful of blinks, a few more steadying breaths.
“Did you paint it?” the girl asked innocently. Nia, her name was? She stared at Kara, oblivious to the flood of sound overwhelming Kara’s mind and echoing in the cavern of her heart.
“Yes,” Kara uttered softly, the word barely audible as they fell from her lips. “A long time ago.”
Nia’s head snapped back to examine the painting once more. It stood on an old but sturdy easel, tattooed and scarred but still standing. The artwork itself was brooding, with a white sun bleeding into a dark vignette. Heavy clumps of clouds occupied the sky and caged some of the sun’s rays, so the fire burning behind the woman was bright enough in comparison to create a dragging shadow of her figure. The flames crawled up the back of her windswept dress, bringing sharp tension to an otherwise lulling, melancholy landscape.
“What’s the title?”
The sound of the sea began to swell in Kara’s head. Her lips trembled. Her body unwittingly swayed slightly. “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.”
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Chapter I. The island of Brittany, France, and the surrounding sea. 1779.
Kara squinted into the distance, her face scrunching up a bit as she desperately tried to shield her eyes from the harsh glare of the sun on the water. For all its gorgeous teals and sparkling peaks, it certainly did make her wish for one of those brimmed hats the rowers were all wearing. With every one of their paced paddles, the cork-like little canoe bobbed haphazardly. Kara rather felt as if she were in the wine glass of a thoroughly drunken Marie Antoinette.
At least she wasn’t prone to seasickness.
She still felt quite unsteady, though, being thrown about and forced to pathetically grab onto the boat’s low walls. She leaned forward, trying to regain her balance and ground herself despite the absence of ground.
The wooden pallet holding her canvas was, apparently, as unstable as she was, and the next thing Kara knew, it had been lurched off of the boat like vomit from a drunkard. Kara watched helplessly as it thrashed among the choppy waves, the sea carrying it a few feet from the boat.
The chief rower met her desperate look with exhausted resignation; he ceased his paddling as Kara shed her overcoat and placed a precarious foot on the edge of the canoe.
With a strained creak from the boat’s wood, she jumped into the water, dress billowing behind her. Her first gasp for air upon emerging from the water was audible; she could feel the effort in her throat. Her arms moved in laborious little arcs as she slowly made her way towards the floating pallet and finally made a desperate reach for it. Kara’s fingers grasped onto a wooden board, and she pulled herself up onto it with a grunt.
---
The incessant wind upon the sea was certainly not helping Kara. Dripping wet, she wrapped herself up in her overcoat in a pitiful plea for warmth. She held the edges of the garment up to her lips, the sensation of the dry fabric bringing her some comfort as she closed her eyes and left herself to the mercy of the mighty sea.
But the interminable rocking of the feeble boat wouldn’t allow her any rest.
Kara wasn’t very religious, not anymore. Yet, the sight of the cliffs and coast of Brittany moved her to relieved prayer.
---
The sun had already begun to set as Kara trekked up the sandy coast. Her legs ached with every stumbling, unsure step—maybe she was a bit seasick after all—and her hands were tired of having to grip her full skirt to keep it out of her way.
She paused on the rocks, taking a moment to manually wring some of the water out of her skirt. She filled her lungs with an arduous breath before slinging the rope holding the pallet over her shoulder. Next came the fabric sling, which housed her trunk of personal items—she positioned it on her back with careful poise.
The journey up the cliffs and towards the trees was exhausting. Kara’s skirt required repositioning every few seconds, the rope was digging into her shoulder, and the pallet and trunk slammed into her back with each wobbling step. By the time she reached the straight path up to the residence, her breaths were heavy and pained, and the sun was nearly fully hidden beneath the horizon.
A soft light emanated from the windows above the mansion’s door, helping Kara feel a bit more secure as she knocked. A short blonde woman answered her summon and introduced herself with a flat “I’m Eve.” She opened the door a bit wider and gestured with her body for Kara to come in.
Eve held a small candle as she guided Kara up the stairs, the sounds of their shoes echoing through the grand yet starkly undecorated hallway. The walls of the stairwell were cement bricks, and the wrought iron bannister was rather plain and geometric.
They came to a stop in front of a similarly void room, bare save a few heavy curtains and a daybed. The raised panels along these walls matched the white-painted wood of the window frames, and they gave the chamber some elegant character.
While Eve entered the comparatively less intimidating room, Kara stayed back a moment, taking in the shafts of muted blue light from the windows and the contrasting warm glow of leaping flames from the central fireplace.
Eve crouched down to poke at the fire as Kara set down her belongings. “It was a reception room,” Eve explained. “Though I’ve never seen it used.”
The fire crackled pleasantly. “Have you been here long?” Kara inquired.
“Three years,” Eve answered, directing her attention back to the fire.
Kara peeled off her overcoat and draped it along the wainscoting. “Do you like it here?”
“Yes,” Eve said simply as she stood up. She turned to Kara, meeting her eyes now as her hands smoothed over her skirt. “I’ll let you get dry.” And with a nod, she was on her way.
Kara watched her every step.
Once the door closed, she hastily began removing her overskirt. It fell to the dark herringbone floor with an unglamorous thud.
---
There was no method or grace to the way Kara wrapped her hand around the rusting crowbar, but with a few jerks, she’d managed to successfully pry the top off of the pallet.
After setting down the wood cover, Kara extended her hand, letting it fall clumsily onto the slick canvas in front of her. It was still wet, and her hand’s small circular movement caused moisture to pool at her fingertips, as if her touch had beckoned the water. So her hand withdrew, and Kara slid the canvas out from its container. Her eyes danced over the surface as she considered how to dry it, holding it in front of herself like the Communion host of an evening Mass.
---
Kara decided to accompany her drying canvas, which was now positioned next to the fireplace. Stripped naked, she sat in front of the fire and pulled her legs towards herself—she was vulnerable, sitting there bare and in a new environment, and the action made her feel a bit more small, compact, and safe.
Kara set down her candle so she could light her tobacco pipe with the flames. Her large, smoky exhales grounded her, in a way, with the familiar sight and smell acting as a sort of sedative. And she stared forward, expression blank but unmistakably worn.
---
Kara walked barefoot along the cement floor, making her way through the hall and to the pantry room wrapped in nothing but her robe-like smock.
#again i have no intention of finishing so be forewarned etc#supergirl#supercorp poalof au#i have been feeling a bit weird going through my old work bc. i don't think i've really improved in the three years since starting this???#and i quite literally haven't written anything in 2023 other than like the 1000ish words to finish up this final chapter of tree of my song#&those thousand words genuinely feel worse than my old writing#because i'm out of practice i think#it's weird bc writing is something i think of as super important to me - like in less than a month i'll literally be at community college a#ain despite how bad my experience was last time with it bc i theoretically want to take classes that will make me a better writer#so like blah blah blah do i want to dedicate more of myself and my energy towards writing long term or do i just like the idea of being a#writer.#blah blah blah if i had to do a rose colored glasses on this all it would be. since january i have read 60something books and before this y#ar i hadnt been an avid reader in ages. and most of those books have been in the genre/niche i want to end up writing in#so i was learning writing by reading in that sense#hmm etc etc#i should probably stop taking myself and all of this so seriously lol idk#i'm theoretically back into writing and trying to prioritize it more again so (thumbs up emoji)
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Where do you shop for your clothes? Are there any particular brands you look out for?
OH SO- this is kinda gonna be a frustrating answer.
i shop almost exclusively at this re-sale/second chance/excess store that puts together the unsold clothing from places like free-people and anthropology and the indy brands that they carry. It's INCREDIBLY local to my stretch of the woods- it's called retail 101 in naugatuck connecticut. i got a 350$ dress new with tags for 30$ and that was the most expensive clothing item listed in the store. it's definitely worthwhile to make the drive. it's about an hour for me, at least two if you're in nyc.
shopping there helps me feel better about getting clothes- because they're generally a lot bit better quality than like h and m or primark (which is what i can reasonably afford). it's also not directly supporting like- all those big businesses and keeps unsold clothes out of the landfill ect. It's helped me get some very very nice clothing for very cheap. it's a very overstimulating experience because it's basically just a football field sized warehouse filled with clothing.
i greatly recommend it if you're overly small or overly large because their greatest selection is in the Xs and Xl range like- I think i saw a size 14 jeans that were originally 400$ on sale for 14$ so- if you're more middle sized it definitely requires some hunting.
but tbh i also hit up the target clearance section for most of my jeans because they have really reasonable sales. i got my favorite pair of ripped jeans there for 6.50$. Target just for some reason happens to fit me pretty reliably- which is honestly rare because i have a 28 inch waist but a 40 inch booty.
#i love clothes and shopping because when i was a kid i never got new or nice things.#like we were a one new pair of shoes a year household#and i got like maybe 4 outfits at a time because that was all we could afford#and even then they were holey and didn't fit me right.#I give myself a budget cuz i know i spend too much on clothing generally#but it's very healing for me to express myself that way#because when i was growing up and until i was in college really- expressing myself that way wasn't really an option.#not to mention the other aspect of my life and needing to be able to run in whatever i was wearing#this is not new holly lore but old holly lore but yeah#being stalked really does do a number on you#its funny because as a result i sort of hate sneakers now like#this is just a me issue but i had to wear sneakers for safety every day#littterally every day#just incase my stalker was following me wherever i was and i needed to run#he hasn't chased me like that since like- the first week of the pandemic so <3#healing is still happening and i don't wear sneakers anymore#wouldn't be caught dead in em'#not that i haven't tried to get back into liking them and wearing them because some of them are comfortable
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i had a dream and Ren was there so i came back here what happened with the notifs hiiii
#my mind has gone crazy since i haven't drawn him for a long time iwill pass away if this keeps going hte punishment is not working#i have to do my stupid ass thesis and i dont want to i hate doing personal projects for college it ruins everything#andn my face is going to be beside it literally the worst and i have to talk to an audience i will literally cry and forget everything#in the dream he didn't do anything remarkable. it was like an open world rpg#but i remember he had blue hair sometimes idk why. and we were using normal looking armor like level 1 armor leather boring#i said nothing remarkable because i didn't speak to him we were in different groups and they explored somewhere else i saw him for 14 seco#then i had to do puzzles and normal dream stuff for some reason i would use 4 weapons in the same battle i was stressed as shit#i was paired with just one person now that i remember but i don't know who it was i think i was trying to protect them or something#because they didn't do anything in battle#man i cant take this anymore i have to draw i have to draw i have to draw#and i couldn't use the feelings of the new update to draw because i was really stressed about college and AUGHII WANT TO DRAW;;;;#silly squeaking time
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🗒
#blessings roll call!#feel free to hop in the tags or replies <3#started my new job this week-- working as a PT tech at a rehab clinic#that training is going well and it's such a blessing to not have to be actively searching for a job during the semester#since I've got a very full class schedule trying to find time to apply and interview would be a nightmare rn#so grateful that got done literally right before the semester picked up#and now I can focus on learning the job. also praise that all my coworkers are kind and patient.#school is going better than expected. there's a lot to do but so far I'm doing really well in all my classes#and singing in choir has been such a joy!#we have so many gorgeous pieces including a Sara Teasdale poem arranged for chorale#it sounds heavenly! the solo is lovely and the alto part is a lot of sustained notes that come together with the other parts to make this#insane almost organ-like sound#got to chat with my bestie today at my other job which was good#homemade soup!#food in general actually. The first week or two of the semester I was subsisting on nothing or junk food#and got to the point where I was starting to feel like crap and went grocery shopping#I've been bringing meals to college and work the last 2 weeks and it's made such a difference!#and I missed eating vegetables and actually getting protein so now I have nutrient-dense meals and it's great#actually getting close to enough sleep and it's been great#talked to my grandparents about visiting over Christmas break and they're down so I might be going to see them soon!#hanging out with my sister a bit more now that we drive to school together#despite being super busy it's been a good month. ups and downs but overall the best September I've had in a while#prayer request-- the one thing I haven't been consistent with is my quiet times.#definitely struggling in that area right now. please pray I can spend time in worship and prayer and study even when I don't feel like it <#college chronicles#journal
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going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao
#still on the fence about it bc the burnout i experienced at the beginning of may extended to aubrey#especially bc so much of my aubrey stuff is comedy about gender and my brain was more in ''set everything on fire'' mode#and i think i've gotten to a good place with that burnout but i still haven't worked on any aubrey stuff since i got home from college#but even still even tho my mental health is better than it was a few weeks ago#recently i have had this horrible insomnia where i haven't been able to fall asleep at night in over a week#(i've made up for it with naps but still i am not mentally 100% rn. i've tried so many things and nothing has worked.)#so that's my justification for *not* doing aubrey tomorrow. however.#i reeeally need to get more performance experience bc there's only so much you can develop a sketch character without performing them#and this venue is so good. it's an art gallery like an hour away that's designed to be part gallery and part performance venue#especially for comedy. like the venue owner is this veteran comedian who used to work with bobcat goldthwait and a lot of other big names#and it's a low-pressure environment bc everyone there has seen me do comedy before with my improv troupe#but they still haven't seen me do aubrey at all so it's bringing a new side of my comedy to some of my main collaborators#like this is so much better than my previous aubrey performances bc they were all either#1. shows in CLASSROOMS with a bunch of my classmates who generally don't get my comedy (very clique-ish)#or 2. a guest spot on a show at a coffee shop where everyone knew each other except me#plus the biggest thing for me is the lack of a strict time limit. like as much as having a good 3-minute monologue can be#i think aubrey is a character you need to get to know a bit longer than 3 minutes. and a lot of my stuff is long while also being very tigh#like not every monologue is like this but my best aubrey monologues are almost like aubrey is telling you a sitcom storyline#and removing too many lines makes the whole narrative jenga tower fall over#and as much as i want to figure out how to make every monologue a good starting point#having the chance to perform multiple monologues if i get to go twice so that they can build off each other would be perfect#idk i'm not sure how often the open mics are there. at least monthly tho i might be missing next month's depending on when i'm in toronto#so like this wouldn't really be my only chance. but yeah i'm on the fence about whether to bring aubrey back for a performance tomorrow#i probably wouldn't do new material. i'd do the 5 minute version of my uncle reg monologue bc it's the one that's worked best so far#and if i get to do multiple. maybe i'd do the ''nom de plum'' monologue bc i think it's also very strong#and it has a good callback to uncle reg#but idk i also think doing the song would be very fun and on-theme since it's pride month and the song is a satire of rainbow capitalism#tho i'd probably have to rework the monologue that leads into the song bc even tho i loved the concept i don't think i articulated it well#or i could write an entirely different lead-in and make the previous monologue (''C/H/M'') a separate thing to revise later#which would probably go better and somehow be less work to write. but even so i don't know what the venue's sound setup is
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I got a new mouse and surprisingly but not unwelcome that rollerball mice are making a comeback and aren't all $60 and are a little more ergonomic, AND some are wired and sometimes the brands offer wired and wireless
also that I'm apparently insane for gaming using one of those because everyone else hates doing that
#I've been using this type for years since I was like 3 or 4#we have been a computer family since the 90s at least#only time I haven't was late high school and early college when I just had cheap regular ones#vena vents#not art#That being said I am avoiding the logitech ones considering the left button issue is a blanket issue with most of their ball mice apparentl
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i need to get more into filipino music please does anyone have any recs
#we're going through another im ''''not filipino enough'''' phase. whatever that means.#i'm so disconnected to being filipino that it sometimes feels like a deep physical ache#(for context i grew up in a completely white town that had so few people of color for most of my time there)#(and then i went to an online school for most of college where we didn't . like. make friends.)#the issue with wanting to learn more about filipino culture tho is that i'm afraid that i'll be invading people's spaces#or be appropriating the culture which ???? brain what.#(i am only half filipino my mom is white but i've got a complicated relationship with calling myself half filipino or mixed tbh)#(i'm trying to sort it out but it's hard. it's hard!! ok!!!)#my filipino family lives about 13 hours away and we haven't seen them since um...my cousins cotillion in like 2021?#sorry i'm having a moment i'm having a night does anyone have any music recs from filipino artists#i'll try anything tbh#i actually did a final paper on the evolution of filipino music so this is slightly embarrassing but asldkfjsdkjf its. fine!#this is embarrassing i'm gonna queue it#not pjo#chitter chatter
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Really not feelin it this week. Tag rant incoming
#it's just been a slew of horrible things this week and idk how to handle any of it#we had to take my childhood cat to the vet on Monday bc she's very sick and very skinny#and we thought we'd have to put her down#I'm so thankful bc she still has a bit of time and really all I want is for her to be comfortable again before she dies#but shes in such bad shape#and I hate seeing her like that. I found her when she was just a few weeks old#and now she's 15 and she just got old out of nowhere#and I'm not gonna be able to see her anymore soon#I'm going to a funeral Saturday for one of my aunts#I wasn't close to her since I was a kid but my family more or less abandoned her#and now she's dead and I never went to see her when she was alone#and today my other aunt died. and I was close to her.#I haven't seen her in years either though bc of more family drama.#and I never visited her either. idek if she was alone or if she had people.#I should have visited her when we found out she was sick but I just didn't#idk what to do. it's all just piling up#I feel worse rn than I have in years#and more bad things just keep happening#I was excited this week bc I got some work done on my college application#but now my motivation is just gone#I just wanna sleep and wake up and find out that my aunt is actually alive and someone just got it wrong somehow#but I can't fall asleep and that won't happen so waking up won't even be worth that#I would call off work tomorrow but I don't wanna be alone and my coworkers are the only people I know in town#at least they're all nice people#this all sucks so fucking bad#personal#negative
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I honestly wish my birthday wasn't in 2 weeks. I always get really depressed around my birthday.
#october 23rd everybody mark your calendars!#it's a monday and I have sweeney todd rehearsal that night so I probably won't even get to have my birthday on my birthday#I'm gonna be 24 years old it really shouldn't matter so much to me anymore but it does#but I'm not a kid anymore. my birthday isn't special to anyone but me anymore. to everyone else it's just another day.#well it's all I've got it's the only time I ever feel seen and like people care enough to pay even the slightest attention to me#i just recently realized that receiving gifts is a love language for me too and i honestly hate that i feel like such an asshole#it feels worse because I haven't been able to get even a shitty job since i graduated college and my family is fucking broke too#so when my sister said she already had my birthday present my mom just jokingly says 'at least someone's getting you something' !#i seriously almost started crying when she said that. i did not find that funny at all. she said the exact same thing about christmas#which i feel the same way about. I've just been having a horrible last like 2 years and now it's almost my birthday again and I'm still#exactly where I was last year. I'm trying so hard and I just can't make any progress.#I'm stuck and it just feels like there's nothing I can do about it at this point.#anyway sorry to be such a downer I'm gonna at least try to go to sleep#abby's self deprication hour#abby's insomia thoughts
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Just gotta make it through next week...just gotta make it through next week....just gotta....*falls flat onto the floor*
#echo rambles#personal#my posts#this month's been nothing but assignments upon assignments so i'm sorry for the lack of anything lately again y'all 💀#like this month has collectively gone by way too fast and slow at the same time. all i know is that my throat and eyes hurt a lot#like damn they weren't lying. college sure can get overwhelming at the very last minute. all i want is a nap....#but as soon as my break starts i'm booting up the new zelda game since i haven't had time yet and none of y'all will ever hear from me again
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