#i haven't backed up my shit since 2019 which is. bad.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

i’m spending my sunday evening going through my google drive, saving everything to my external hard drive (don’t @ me i should’ve done this ages ago), and deleting it from the internet, and hoooo boy am i already having A Time™

[sage-green-matcha]

Hello! I absolutely adore your writing and I think it is amazing 🫶 could you do something summer camp based? (like anything summer camp related)

CRULE SUMMER - ETHAN LANDRY 🏕️

“It’s cruel summer, with you” - Taylor Swift

MINORS DNI!

Content includes: Mean Ethan, enemies to lovers, summer camp! Sexual tension!

A/n: two requests in one!

<3

<3

<3

You couldn't stand Ethan Landry. His annoying voice ticked you off, acting like he was so innocent. Everything about him annoyed you. His style, and god, his stupid hair. Even when you heard him breathe or chew too loud you got annoyed.

"Alright, Team! The only goal for today is to beat the blue team's ass! Alright?" You blew your whistle, gathering all the campers. "Stop chewing on your shirt, Timmy" you cringed, a frown on his face.

"Okay! The annual water balloon capture the flag contest! Honestly dumb name but whatever, don't get hit, and whichever team gets the flag first wins! Which will be us, so don't disappoint me"

You hated it, and it annoyed you. When the teenage campers would drop to their knees for you. There weren't hot people at this camp, well maybe Ethan. But his attitude took away from his looks.

They would do anything for you to notice them. And so would Ethan Landry. He was on the rival side of the camp, captain of the blue team.

"You're funny if you think your team is gonna win" he smirked, filling the blue tub up with balloons. "Haha, we are. We haven't lost since 2019. We got this" you shrugged confidently.

"Right, we'll see about that" You wanted to slap the smirk off his face, maybe knee him in the balls while you were at it. "Shut up" you grumbled through your teeth, fixing the whistle around your neck.

"Alright! Everyone round up" You stood on the chopped tree, balancing yourself on your dirty platform Converse. You liked them cause they made you taller, like Ethan. But you would never admit that.

"Who's ready?!" You smiled as the crowd of campers screamed, water balloons in hand. "3...2...1!" You quickly ran away, taking cover in the lunch room before anyone could find you. Or so you'd thought.

"Found ya" You looked up to be splashed with water, Ethan smiling at you. "Wow, congratulations" you smirked, throwing one right back at him. Your eyebrows furrowed as you noticed his eyes wandering, just to end up on your chest. "What?"

"I...nothing" He scratched the back of his neck.

You looked behind you, to your sides, and then down your body, that's when you realized. You didn't remember about the fight when you were getting dressed, the white baby tee hugging your boobs perfectly. Your ripped blue shorts showing off your thighs. You weren't wearing a bra either, you had been swimming all morning and forgot it at the dock, and couldn't find it after.

"You fucking pervert!" You let out a small gasp, covering yourself quickly. "I'm not a pervert!" You rolled your eyes, bumping him out of the way as you left. "They're just gonna attack you"

"I'm already out" you mumbled, storming away while trying to hide your frustration.

You couldn't believe it, he was staring at your boobs! He's a pervert, he's annoying, he's disrespectful. You could go on and on about it.

You walked outside to see a bunch of the blue team kids splashed in water. A small smile back on your face. At least you had that. Quickly, you made your way back to the cabin, finally putting on a bra and a red tee you had laying around. Too bad you had to watch what you wore now, there was a pervert in the camp.

But honestly, you didn't care, finding your way back to camp in the loose red shirt.

"Looks like my campers beat yours" Ethan grinned, your eyebrows furrowed at your sad group of campers. "You helped them, didn't you?" He gave you a surprised face. "No? Your team just sucks"

You knew he was lying, his team was full of shit runners. "You helped them" he mocked you, his classic smirk shining back at you.

You leaned over, grabbing a balloon from the bucket before throwing it at his face. "Whoah! Okay, you really wanna fight?" You didn't respond, instead holding back a smile as water splashed his chest.

Harsh splashes of water started hitting you, while you tried to collect more balloons. You threw them back at Ethan. "Ethan! Stop!" You smiled as he got closer, missing his body every time you threw a balloon.

"You said you wanted to fight" he chewed on his lip with a smirk, picking you up by your waist. "Get your hands off me, Landry"

You wiggled around in his arms, pushing yourself off of him.

"Who knew you were strong" You didn't mean to say it out loud, but the thought slipped out of your lips. "Have you not seen my muscles?" You cringed at his words, shaking your head.

"Enough playing around you two, clean the mess up" Your eyes turned into lines, twisting your head at the Camp manager. "She's so annoying, doesn't know how to have fun. I mean, it's a kid's camp" Ethan joked, pulling the blue tub closer to his body.

"And you do?" You asked, your back turned to him as he scanned you down. You gave him doughy eyes, turning your head. You noticed his face was slightly pinker than before. Blush looked really good on him. You scoffed, a small smile on your lips.

"I do" he shook his head, getting noticeably closer to you. "Really?" You teased, trying to hide the fact that you were panicking on the inside.

"Mhm"

“Show me”

You didn’t think he was actually gonna make a move, but the way his eyes stared at you  should’ve told you otherwise.

You let out a small gasp, it sounded more like a moan. The lewd sound got Ethan excited. You tried to pull back, but Ethan stayed dominant, pushing you back against the wall.

You prayed the manager wouldn’t come back, enjoying the moment too much. The way his hands squeezed your waist made you melt. His kisses traveled down your neck, sucking and pecking you all over.

“Enough E, you’re gonna leave marks” you tried to sound confident, but you were too flustered. You felt his heart race in his chest, heavy breaths falling from his pretty lips as he pulled away.

“Am I not fun enough?” He smirked, making you scrunch your nose. “Your fun…but I’m way funner” you teased, biting back your lip with a smile.

“Back to being bold?” You nodded, trying to hide your shyness. You slipped under his arm, running back towards your cabin. “I’ll see you at the campfire?” He yelled, making you turn back.

“See you!”

[utilitycaster]

@notstinglesstoo replied to your post “The thing is, and I haven't gotten a chance to...”:

I saw someone not long ago say cr has always felt like a product to them vs D20 feeling organic and I protected my peace but I did want to ask them if they were brain dead

​Oh man I wanted to address this at length because I feel this. My posts have been centered, again, specifically on published journalists picking Daggerheart aprt critically and applauding themselves for doing so despite it being within a couple of hours of its release and therefore any analysis is necessarily going to be based on at best, a skim, when they just as frequently will claim D20 seasons/Kollok are flawless works of genius based on only a partial read, but man D20's got a fandom problem too. (and all of the following comes with the caveat of "I really enjoy D20, and Dropout, and while we're at it WBN and NADDPod which both are half D20 Intrepid Heroes cast, and think Brennan is a particularly brilliant GM, and also it's obvious that the D20 and CR casts are on great terms, and wish the fandom for D20 were more welcoming and enjoyable because I feel it wasn't like this when I first started watching, as a CR fan, in late 2019 and has since curdled into something really weird and bad.")

The first point is the obvious one: technically speaking these are both products. These are performers doing an art form; it is also a portion of how they make their money with which they can buy goods and services. Believing that art is inauthentic when the artist gets paid and acknowledges that is a thing that happens is a fucking libertarian position at best. Like cool, you think only people who are independently wealthy by other means can make art, because it's not real labor, my kid could paint that, etc etc.

The second point is also pretty obvious. I have pushed back pretty hard on the "uwu CR is just watching friends! it's like we're in their living room" mentality among the fandom, which has decreased, thankfully, but like...it did in fact start organically as a private home game, and they decided, when invited, to make it A Show For An Audience. D20 was created on purpose as a show for an audience. This doesn't make it bad or fake - reread the previous paragraph - but in terms of "this is an group of people who really played D&D in this world together even before the cameras were rolling," Critical Role literally is that, and D20 is not.

I think beyond that...my biggest issues with the D20 fandom are first, the level of discourse is abominable. The tag is almost always just shrieking praise and the most surface-level readings possible. I keep bringing up the "Capitalism is the BBEG" mug but it genuinely sums up so much of how I feel; people who want their existing beliefs fed to them as surface-level no-nuance takes. I mean capitalism is fucking terrible but I do not need every work I watch to have a character turn to the camera and say "capitalism is bad" to enjoy myself, and indeed it makes it harder due to the lack of subtlety and grace. For all D20 fans complain about how unhealthily parasocial CR fans can be (and some can be), I find that a lot of the most unhealthily parasocial "how dare they BETRAY my TRUST by having a ship I don't like or not speaking up about every single societal ill" ex-CR fans move over to D20 and then pull the exact same shit; it simply doesn't get called out. Every time D20 fans are like "we don't want to become the CR fandom" it's like "your toxic positivity and unhealthy parasocial behavior exceeds the HEIGHT of what I've seen in CR; the main difference is that CR started in 2015 when D&D was still shaking off the raging bigot dudebros and so in the early days it acquired more of those fans, whereas by the time D20 came around the landscape of who played D&D and watched Actual Play had shifted wildly, and you need to judge September 2018 D20 fans in parallel to September 2018 CR fans, not September 2015 CR fans."

I also feel, and I alluded to this in the post about journalism, and other people have said this better than I have, but the pedestal people have put D20 on does feel like a single...not even misstep, but just, difficult choice that doesn't capitulate to the loudest fans will bring a good chunk of that fandom crashing to the ground. And that includes the journalists. For all the fans of CR can still be obsessed with the cast to an unhealthy degree? The cast and company have put up pretty strong boundaries and have not budged. D20 hasn't, and I think the second they do - and I think it will be for their benefit as a company and a channel - a big chunk of their most vitriolic CR-hating portion of the fandom will viciously turn on them.

[millerflintstone]

It's been a while since I've pushed myself to do something out of my comfort zone for career related purposes. In my mid to late 20s, it was getting out recruiting and recruiting related admin work and getting into something technical. I started learning object oriented programming at a community college after work hours to see if I liked it and no one was more surprised than me that I did like it. I made a career switch into software engineering right before I turned 30. Was an intern and everything.

In my 30s, it was getting really good at that. I aimed to get to a senior level and ended up focusing on a specific niche and carving out a path to get better at that. Then I kind of got myself stuck in healthcare software development land because it offered me remote work back when that wasn't a popular option. It helped me deal with financial crap related to my mom and sister and provided flexibility. I really love working remotely but I also got a chance to travel a bit and learned I was good at being a consultant. I did enjoy a lot of the problems I helped solve across the different places where I worked. But travel gets old. I did that for a decade until about 2019 and that last consultant job became full-time and then turned into the TX job from hell.

The one good thing about the TX job from hell was that I got exposure to more Microsoft development things like Visual Studio, SSIS, SSMS. But I do often wonder if I didn't feel the responsibility towards my mom and sister if I would have gotten out of my the hell I let myself get into a lot sooner than I did with regards to the industry and type of software development. My burnout really started when I stopped attempting to challenge myself. Or maybe the fact that I stopped attempting to challenge myself was a sign of that burnout starting? IDK.

Anyway ...

With the content writer / reviewer thing, I've gotten exposure to Python and I've gotten good at testing short scripts. I haven't really had to work my brain, though. But it has been nice to feel that excitement again.

However, with my first official technical writing project, which kicked off on Tuesday, I kind of got into panic mode the past couple of days. I noticed I was avoiding really starting on it because I was terrified I'd hate it or that I'd feel completely overwhelmed, like I did at the last job that did the whole bait and switch on my role and its duties. I realized what I was doing though. It felt akin to self-sabotage and maybe it is that in part. Today was really tough and I was texting Unfriendly about it to voice it because I was so frozen. I identified that I had to start getting out of it by calling it out. Naming it. Not tricking myself into doing other shit, though I had been doing other shit to avoid it. I had to ask myself WHY I was doing this other shit when the thing I had been really wanting to try was in front of me.

Now that I've been working on the project for the past hour, another part of my brain has kicked in that I haven't really had to use since my English major. It's not something I'm bad at, but I recognize that I am rusty. And it is at least slightly more interesting to me than the torturous class section I had on the Romantic Poets in undergrad, so there's that I guess.

[sp00kymulderr]

5th Nov.

This week has been fucking weird. I don't want to go in to detail but the mental health was not it. But then the last couple days have been ??? oddly good. Thanks a lot to this place, this community. Idk. I'm not much of a good at talking to people person but there's just something about people in this fandom that makes life feel alright. I'm obsessed w you guys honestly 💕

I didn't do much this week. I got ghosted. I went to a Rammstein tribute. I ran around the park with my nephew. I had a shit few days at work but what's that but normal right now?

I've read some good good stuff this week.

Who would I be without mentioning into the beat of the night chapter one - transmission by @perotovar - one chapter in and this fic is already everything to me ❤️

Every Colour Illuminates by @the-blind-assassin-12 was a beautiful way to start my week off, a gorgeous read.

Not a fic, but this Self Care with Dieter & Jett post really put me on a good track after some bad days. Thank you @morallyinept

And because I didn't post my recs last week I have have to mention two fics by @covetyou which changed me fundamentally: Send in the Clown

open hand or closed fist would be fine (I'm reading the rest of swat now and um wow 😮)

Lo, how can i convince you to write a bravo the clown fisting fic?!?!

I actually posted quite a lot this week??? somehow??? The notes are shockingly low and tbh I nearly deleted one of these the day after posting but I am resisting and trying to remain proud that I even wrote anything.

I finally posted Our House of Flames pt 3 - Afterburn which I my ongoing 4 part Joel series. Great if you like grief and misery and guilt lmao.

Put up chapter one of Lucida Sidera, my Ezra series featuring my first original character! This fic is an update of something I first plotted and posted in 2019 and has a special place in my heart.

And I also posted these Pedro boy gender and sexuality headcanons!

Tomorrow I have a job interview…I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but I do need a new job and this one helps me stay in a similar position to what I'm in now. The rest of the week is lacking in any plans bc I’m boring, but I'll definitely be back at the gym and I'm starting a new program so maybe I'll get back into heavy deadlifts since I haven't done any in a few weeks!

Also writing, with hopes to publish a dirty Joel oneshot and possibly a Dieter thing if I can get my act together!

Love you guys. Thanks for the things you do. You're incredible 🩷✨🩷✨

[golbrocklovely]

Didn’t Elton trash Colby’s first car and asked to show his wrists when he knew he was harming himself?

All in all. I watch both accounts but Elton is just crazy. I also think he’s desperate to prove himself and to prove the paranormal like Sam. But then again, they both want to spread a message. But they both differ I guess.

He was at the Hellfire 3 days after I went there. So crazy!

this turned into such a rant omg i'm so sorry

he did wreck colby's car, but a lot of us personally believe he actually just trashed a car that looked like colby's since in the end he "gave" colby a car that look suspiciously like his and was just slightly nicer looking.

and the wrist thing NEVER happened. i've had to reiterate this on several occasions so if i seem a bit snippy about it, my apologies. but this has never happened. colby has never self harmed before, and elton has never made him show scars… since they don't exist.

here's where the rant starts in case anyone wants to read it:

the only reason this rumor infuriates me so much is that it wasn't until last year that ppl started talking about it and bringing it up but there is literally NO PROOF of it's existence. and when you ask ppl where they heard it from, they say "oh someone said it was in a video that got removed" or you also get "someone said it was in a livestream that's been deleted". my issue with this is that the last time snc collabed with elton was in 2019. and it took until 2022 for anyone to talk about this event. if that's the case…. you don't think someone would have brought it up before?? like the ENTIRE fandom just let elton make colby "show" self harm scars and it took three years for anyone to say that wasn't cool? if it happened in a livestream, which notoriously never gave saved or screen recorded all that often, how do you know it happened unless you were there and watched it and WAITED three years to say something about? and if it was in a video that only got deleted recently, no one… not a single person…. recorded it??? i've been in the fandom since 2018, this did not occur bc i've heard NOTHING about it ever until 2022 and the only place i've heard it from is tiktok.

idk who started the rumor, but i really wish they didn't. bc elton is an asshole for a lot of reasons, but this is not one of them.

sorry this is turning into a rant about elton and the tiktok fandom but i gotta vent a bit: i get that some of elton's pranks back in the day were a bit intense. and if you want to harp on the ones that got snc hurt or really emotional, also valid. but some of these fans are being upset for snc when snc don't fucking care about these pranks and SIGNED OFF on them existing and being posted in the first place !! you are talking about the same boys that did the killing best friend prank. clearly, snc can handle a douchebag who possibly destroys their car or slams a hand into their face or whatever. again, i agree that elton went above and beyond with his pranks, but like…. dear lord, please dislike him for the actual bad shit he's done.

he made a rape joke in 2020 and then tried to argue with fans about the semantics of it since he didn't "actually" make a joke about sexual assault. then he bitched about have to remove the video since the clip was at the tail end of it and only lasted like 10 second or whatever. he can't take a lick of criticism and will block fans that don't kiss his ass just bc they have something to say that isn't positive. for YEARS NOW, he has been petty and shit talking snc's name just bc of a video series they haven't done since the early half of 2021 that he believed they copied off of him BUT HE WASN'T CORRECT ABOUT THAT. tfil and 25x25 were not copies of one another. similar? sure, kinda. but not copies. and the single time snc went to the same place as elton THEY GAVE CREDIT IN THEIR VIDEO. but since then, elton has made it his mission to shit on snc any chance he gets and literally has bad mouthed them to crowds of his fans during tour (and most likely to the owners of some of these haunted places since snc weirdly can't go to some of these places for one reason or another but elton and other creators can). elton was BANNED from the conjuring house, and that alone tells me all i need to know about him. when demons can vibe in a space, but not you…. that's proof that you suck deeply as a human being. the only reason he was allowed back recently was bc of it having new owners.

everyone is harping on the old fucking pranks and dumb made up shit and not focusing on ACTUAL shit elton has done. it's like when the anons i had a couple years ago where focusing on shea lying about her age…. who CARES? there are bigger things to pay attention to !

sorry, none of this was directed at you, anon. i've just been really annoyed about tiktok and the dumb shit the fans on there say and it's getting on my last nerve that ppl are focusing on shit that does exist or lying about elton when there is plenty of proof of him being a dick irl. no need to lie on his behalf.

i just realized i never got to the rest of your ask. my bad lol

personally i can't sit thru elton's content bc i deeply don't like him. but if other ppl like him and his content, that's fine ! watch whoever you enjoy more of. my whole thing is elton is the reason i know who snc are, and i don't want to hate him. i would much rather live in the world where they're all still friends with one another and collab when they can. instead we live in the world where elton did all of that and then on top of it didn't even wish colby well when he was going thru his cancer treatment... so fuck him :)

and that's kinda cool that he was there after you. he was definitely copying you, you trend setter haha

[annoyed-galaxy]

So I finally got to a doctor yesterday and man, it was nerve wracking at first. I haven't been to the doctor in five years (the last time being 2019 when I got my diagnosis for PMDD) and this was the first time I was going without my parents. So it was really terrifying for me.

However, I was fortunate to have the sweetest doctor and nurse and they helped me get my prescription back for my medicine and a new "inhaler" (it was, in fact, not a new inhaler, but something for a nebulizer which I do not have resulting in me having to contact my doctor later about that). I also was able to finally do the wretched pap smear. And ever since hearing about that shit, I have always dreaded it. However, ovarian and cervix cancer is in my family so my mom urged me to get that ASAP. And when I told the doctor, she was like: "We can do it today." I cried inside because I really didn't want to, but better not to procrastinate. So that's out of the way and we'll see in two weeks whether or not I have anything.

AS for my medicine and inhaler stuff, here is where y'all can see the true trash of the American healthcare system (since I know a lot of my moots are not American): 1263$ was the total cost of my medicine and inhaler stuff. Yeah that's right. One thousand, two hundred and sixty three god damn dollars for medicine. Around 200 of that was for my medicine alone and the other thousand for the inhaler stuff.

Obviously I can't fucking afford that as a full-time student and part-time worker. But, I have MedicAid. So when I went to the pharmacy to have them put me in the system (because this was a new pharmacy therefore they did not have my information yet) they told they couldn't bill me because MedicAid thought I still had insurance...I have not had health insurance for two god damn years. So they told me to call MedicAid and try to figure out what the fuck was going on. While I'm on hold with MedicAid, I get a call from the pharmacy; I hang up on MedicAid and answer the call. They say they were able to fix things and put me in the system and that the MedicAid stuff went through. They told me the new price because of my copay:

8$.

Eight. Fucking. Dollars.

It went from twelve hundred to eight. EIGHT.

It's a 4$ copay for each medication. So 4 for my medicine; 4 for the inhaler stuff.

We already knew the American healthcare system was bad but holy FUCK. There's no reason that should be a fucking thing. Why not just offer the shit at four dollars anyway???

Anyways, I'm medicated once again!!! The medicine probably won't kick in before my next PMDD week, but I am going to attempt to keep track of myself and journal some more for the time being just to keep an eye on the effects of my medicine.

I'm so fucking happy that I finally got that shit done and am pretty much perfectly healthy. Hoping the medicine kicks me back into gear.

[haloguyfttp]

Hi, my name's Rode. What follows is a very long post because I'm depressed and feeling very lost, confused, and hopeless.

In 2016, I was diagnosed with Autism. At the same time, I was in a (questionable) relationship with someone, which ended in failure. The solitude and sadness of a failed relationship, coupled with this diagnosis, drove me to an extreme depression.

Funnily enough, I persevered for a while, coming to school regardless, and a friend of mine brought a new person into our small 3-person friend group. After a bit of a mess, I would enter a relationship with this person, one far more fulfilling than the 1st. Despite this, I for some stupid reason threw it away, saying things I had no reason to, and since he too wasn't 100%, the relationship and friendship ended there. Despite my attempts, he never contacted me again.

At this point, I've stopped attending school. I was taking medicine to help with my now horrid depression, and I only left the house on occasion to buy groceries for my parents, or go to my friend's house. Frankly, I don't know what happened after this. 2017 is pretty much lost to time, that's how bad my state was. What did happen was that 2017 was the year I became a NEET. I was technically still enrolled in school, if only for the next year until I "graduated", whereupon I would have a result sheet of nothing but Fs, as I never went to the final exam, nor attended any classes.

I don't know when in this timeline, I think somewhere in 2016(?), but the person from the 1st relationship returned and we reconciled as friends. Thus, there were 4 of us, all 3 of them continuing their studies, while I fell behind. And it has stayed this way.

2017 came and went, 2018, 2019

In 2019 my family had to make a choice. Money was slowly being eaten up, as my mom was laid off from work, and she earned the bulk of our finances. By the end of the year, our stuff was packed up and we moved to the Philippines, their home which I have no ties to beyond my bloodline.

2020, 2021, 2022

Pandemic didn't matter, I was a NEET anyway. In late 2022, I tried to get a job. With my parents' help, I got a simple job that I actually quite enjoyed. Just packing shit into bags essentially. Yet I couldn't do it. The noise of people outside the work room, the temperature changes as the room didn't have aircon, but the outside did. The 1 hour car ride both to and fro, with my dad needing to drive me. I quit in a week.

2023

We are here. Well the year's almost over, yet here I am. Still a NEET, having not had a single relationship since the 2 that ended in failure. I finally learned about the concept of being transgender, and that it aligned greatly with what I've felt for this whole story in the background, just another small thing eating away at my sanity as all this time passed. An answer to so many questions I'd had since I was a stupid child.

But the worst part? There's no end in sight. I still can't trust people. I still don't have any friends besides the 3 who thankfully stayed with me, even though I can't even meet them as the plane ride drives me insane. I haven't left my house except for rare times of necessity, like getting vaccinated.

I don't know what to do. It's funny. It's been 7 years. I've spent so much time reflecting, and learning, and even understood that I'm trans. Yet that sentence, "I don't know what to do" has persisted. I know I said that back then. And it's still true now.

Thanks for reading, if anyone did. I wish you a good day, afternoon, evening, and life. Oh and just in case, don't worry about my life. I will not be doing that. I'm not capable of doing that.

[babydinojojo]

Day One/Entry one

Hello everyone, my name is Jordan but y'all can call me Jordie. Usually im on discord but i need another place to post my thoughts about everything on here. Well Here I go

I just finished cleaning my bathroom finally after my mom kept rushing me to fucking finish it as usual breh ;-;, but its okay now cause i can just chill out. So let's start on todays topic because I only have two things on my mind. So lets start with my partner Krisy she's just amazing and the girl of my dreams, i'm really glad i met her and have her in my life, she has her ups and downs and moments when she gets really angry but that's okay because at the end of the day i value our time together and the fact that we spend everyday together really puts a smile on my face. She's everything i wanted in a girl, she's pretty, amazing, adorable, chill, and I would do ANYTHING for her even if it means beating the shit out of someone who dares crosses her or upsets her in anyway shape and/or form. She isn't perfect to be honest here yes, but she's perfect in my eyes and she will always be no matter what.

I just hate the fact that i can't tell her shit sometimes and i struggle to tell her things that go on, just like a few days ago... I couldn't tell her that Kasu was my ex and the fact that the day we started dating.. i was heading home from the emergency room because I had a major anxiety attack that day at school. She tells me things all the time, and yes she lies but still we all lie we ain't perfect, but too be honest it's not fair that she tells me everything and i sometimes forget to tell her things, i always stress on myself there are no secrets, but yet.. I fail even at that.. I really don't wanna hurt her or lose her because i can't tell her things.. and im actually started to keep things fresh cause she's been doing the heavy lifting with that and I haven't. Yesterday I suggested that we watch Maleficent or however the fuck you spell it and then i started picking some new games more and more instead of picking the same old shit everyday.

But with all that said, I love her so much more than anything and anyone in the entire world and i wanna keep her in my life.. Hell i even plan on Moving to Missouri with her soon hehe but first we gotta get there anything and everything is possible and i don't wanna jinx things you know??

The next topic i wanna discuss is trains and the upcoming Class 700 release for Train Sim World 3. I was operating an R32(2007-2010 Phase I) on the B Line in Openbve this morning it was actually a decent run and i only overran one station, im slowly getting the hang of it but I wanna explore other things, that where Train Sim World 3 comes in to play. That game made me discover something new about myself and made me more open to trying other countries and seeing how their train system works. My personal Favorite UK line is the Brighton Mainline and my favourite UK Trains are the Electrostars(Classes 375,377,387), and the Thameslink Class 700(Which is coming out for Train Sim World 3), at the end of the day tho i always stick to the NYC Subway especially the R32s and R42s since they were my childhood and those subway cars were always there for me even during my darkest days back in Middle School, now a days you don't really see them anymore just for fan trips, I like the R179s Yea.. but i just wanna see the 32s and 42s come back because I miss being a child, not 17 going on 18 and this bullshit. The last good year for Humanity imo was 2019 and the fact that everyone was to realize that nuclear war a seriously a bad idea, but look at the world now, we are on the verge of a devestating war. America is more divided than ever OVER sexual orientation,there is a good chance i might end up coming out as Demi(He/They) but Im still straight i mean I feel like i am guy and i do identify as one, but yet i feel like i don't fully identify as one I know my parents and Krisy will support me and so will Dexter but will Jayden Support is the question, eh its fine. Im getting off topic I know but yea America is more divided over LGBTQ and it's such a shame because at the end of the day nobody should have to feel ashamed of who they are and what they identify as, it's not fair to them because the community fought for these rights and its about to be all for nothing only for them to be taken away.

We really need to stand against this, and even as a straight person i always support the lgbtq community no matter what.

The Class 700 i am really looking forward to running it in Train Sim World 3 on Tuesday and Mainly on Brighton Main Line. I was gonna pick up the Glossop Line, but then i thought Nah. Alright that's all i got for now see y'all soon

[innestahtinen]

it's been a while since things about a movie, probably, i don't remember, and i'm not going reading through old posts. last year I watched all three Channel Awesome anniversary movies, and despite them being bad, i have been thinking about them, mainly it's in the third one, how they continued the running thing of not seeing Todd's face by making him Robocop. and they're in my movies yt playlist, so I'm doing it again.

Kickassia (2010):

last year, i gave it a 1.5/5.

i hadn't noticed it, but i think Lindsay Ellis is doing a Sarah Palin impression, but an impression of Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin; the whole 'I can see Russia from my house' thing.

'but Mars Girl is a woman' "sure she is, and I'm the tooth fairy' what? [ok, so this bit's from after I finished, and i was going to come back and say something about not knowing who wrote it, so I can't pin it on singularly that person, but then I remembered that this movie has opening credits, and Doug Walker volunteers himself. so I correct this] Hey Doug, what?

this movie shits on Jimmy Carter as a politician, the guy who warned about how the US needed renewable energy in the 70s, then the Reagan and Bush Sr. administrations said no.

i used to watch nostalgia critic for about a year in 2019, so i don't know who most of these people are, the only one i recognise is Linkara, so they're trying to do dramatic scenes with character stuff, but it means nothing currently.

'we heard gunshots!' "did they come from a gun" - unfortunately, that is the exact kind of stupid comedy i like.

unfortunately, that single point is counteracted by a line 3 minutes later; 'I feel like a puppy that got raped by a bulldozer' not really one for rape jokes.

is this a cutaway gag, but one that's the instructions for risk?

cameos work so well, especially when you don't know the people, but i've said that already.

there was a scene that really reminded me of the classic: 'but i didn't even get her email address' from Spy Kids 3D. for better or worse, given I haven't seen that movie either.

previously it was a 1.5 because it was just dull. and it's still 1.5/5

Suburban Knights (2011):

previously, this was a 2.5/5. it was more interesting, but still not good

ha ha, referring to character in one property by the name of a character from another property played by the same person, ha

i'm going to guess that Doug wrote this one too, in which case; What's his issue with Jimmy Carter, he seems like a nice guy. the guy from inside a book, from the 80s went; 'did we ever have a president worse than Carter?' but i guess that makes more sense, Reagan administration shitting on his legacy, making him look hapless, and all.

I've got less to say, the plot's more interesting, the acting's the same, but it's intended to be a fantasy not a drama, so it can work.

it's probably satisfying for the people who left Channel Awesome to see Doug lose twice in two movies.

To Boldly Flee (2012):

this was a 2/5, there's plot, it just relies even more heavily on knowledge from their videos.

I'm watching this three days later, had work so i couldn't watch it the next day. instead i watched Fantasia 2000 and The First Avenger, both much better movies than this.

there's a joke about 'Spoony' being attracted to his sister, which is kinda distasteful to begin with, but then i thought i remembered that he was the contributer who had a mental breakdown, looked it up, and he tweeted about having sex with someone, and people took it as being that he would rape her. i haven't seen the tweet, so I'm not sure. even so, jesus christ mate.

acting, emotions, the characters are seeing one of their friends maybe die, but they're blank, masterful, the layers of their performances, etc. etc.

poo jokes and penis jokes, sick. I'm not against a good penis jokes, and good thing too, because this one is... fine.

'zombies, dressed in confederate uniforms, fighting women in bikinis' does sounds like a B-movie that I'd hear about, go 'ergh, seriously?' and then never think about again, so i guess they get a point, good job Bradikan.

if any of the idea for the aftermath of the email-writing scene came from the people on-screen, then it's still concerning, but if Lindsay Ellis wanted to dress as Seven of Nine, sure, whatever. if it came from Doug, which it most likely did, what the fuck.

I don't know who she is, but the woman who got 'mind-altered' was pretty good.

not entirely sure what the death star parody is meant to be, it looks like a curling stone to me, but for the life of me i can't remember a scene where it was referenced.

i don't think that's the guy who played Ma-Ti.

'... I'm British, our only contributions to culture is comedic cross-dressing and spotted dick' - "FilmBrain", 2012.

turns out i'm an idiot, the death star is a bomb.

'you've got to point out the things that don't make sense' you mean what they were already doing, isn't that the bread-and-butter of this MCN, finding the small issues, and making references to other media and jokes out of them, then surely it shouldnt' expand any more, because they'll have already said it, and put it out into more public consciousness.

i bet the "that was a good crossover" 'this was too' was added in later in production, when they were getting to the end of the one week of filming.

it's still a 2/5.

if Dominic Noble was in them, it probably wouldn't have made them better movies, but i like the guy so it may have helped my enjoyment of them at least.

[posallys]

ya know reiley has been trying to encourage me to go see a therapist for like over two years now (since october 2019) because that was like 2 months before i moved and on top of that one of my closest friends had just died unexpectedly from a pulmonary embolism and i was Going Through It. and i remember bringing up a therapist to my mom and she was like 'no, you're fine' (little back story she was like genuinely intolerable for YEARS and like randomly last year it was like a switch flipped, but ANYWAY) and told me that there was no way i was depressed or anything because my grades were all As and hadn't slipped, etc. etc., and at the time she definitely didn't help my mental health. but like. it's been almost two and a half years and i'm over moving, i'm over my friend dying, my mom isn't a source of stress anymore, but nothing's gotten better, ya know? like about two months ago my dad told me that he thinks im depressed and then just. never brought it up again.

and like idk. i'm genuinely exhausted all the time and talking to anyone other than reiley literally drains me (and it's getting to the point where it's a struggle to even talk to him) and nothing except these stupid fucking books makes me happy lol. like i love softball...i've played it since i was seven and i'm good at it--i've gotten awards, i'm captain, i've gotten offers to play in college...and i've said no. because it's not even fun for me anymore. it's feels more like a burden than fun and i've thought about quitting so many times just because the thought of going and doing something that i loved for so long but don't like anymore makes me insane. the only reason i haven't quit is because i'm the captain and that would be a pretty shitty move. and like there's so many other things that i used to like that i just can't do any more because the thought of actually have to do them is overwhelming. and like my grades aren't bad by any means, but they're not what i'm used to getting (which could be because i'm doing the IB diploma, but.) and it's kind of concerning because i literally studied for this last math test i had for hours and i went to take it and i couldn't focus at all and it was the worst grade i've ever gotten, and idk. the grades don't bother me that much, but yeah. everything else really bothers me though

i don't know where i was going with this but. i'm currently crying over nothing? like idk i was writing this and started crying. i just want to not feel like shit all the time? like why is the only thing im capable of doing over analyzing fucking children's books. why is that the only thing i can do.

im slightly going through it right now idk what to do <3

[amethystblack]

hello~! i'm trying to learn programming and heard that cass is self taught. that's such an inspiration and i would love to hear about her journey(and any tips) if she's willing to share! thank you all for making such an inspiring game!

ok so let me tell you a story. (you can skip to the bottom if you just want the tips.)

it was the year 2014 and i was visiting a college. one of the events of the day was a department fair where some professor would tell you all about what their department does. so i went up to the chair of the computer science department and said "hey, so, I think computers are neat, but I hate to code. do y'all have anything for that?"

man, those were the days.

fast forward to 2019. i didn't go into computer science. i still hate coding. however, i'm also now on the development team for this fucking video game. i believe it's called, uh, punkymen "james" reborn. this video game runs on an engine called essentials. many of you haven't heard of this "essentials" before (especially from me), but this engine has a reputation for being- and this is a technical term, just stay with me- "bad". it's okay if you're unfamiliar with the term "bad"- you'll become very familiar with it and its association to the aforementioned engine very soon. now i'm still just a lowly text file editor (a term used by assholes who code to describe people who don't code) making a whole bunch of battle content for postgame (wow e19 has been in development for literally ever). i had made the theme teams and had moved onto battle tower sets. i looked into the text files (lol imagine looking at TEXT files) to see what the base sets were and saw. things. horrible things. awful things. things that no one should ever have to see. brightpowder mons? focus band? quick claw? c'mon no one wants to fight that. and they topped out at gen 3! gen 3 wasn't even real c'mon now. so i was like "okay. i gotta redo all these." so i did! but then i got to a pokemon called "deoxys". now you might be thinking "hey, wasn't that still gen 3?" and you're right! but deoxys was banned. (imagine getting a legendary mon and never being able to use it. don't worry we fixed that*.) i'm going through these pokemon alphabetically, and deoxys was the first pokemon to have different forms! (*for most of them. the really strong ones are still banned. sorry kids.) the text files (i know they're so 16th century but stay with me here) don't allow you to change those! they also don't allow you to change abilities. now that i think about it, that was probably the real reason for what i'm about to say. which is that i went into the code to fix it! so i dug into the scripts. (i'm going to take a quick break to say that no one should ever ever ever use the script editor in rmxp. it's really bad. technology has come a long way since dinosaurs roamed the earth. in fact, just don't use rmxp. it's really bad. anyway *coughs) so this wasn't technically my first foray into coding- i took an online c++ class sophomore year of high school (which was online, so it didn't count) and i took ap computer science my senior year (the teacher didn't know anything about computer science, which meant it was self taught, and yeah uh-huh i definitely did all the homework and worked very hard in that class and did not just fuck off to the library every day to play civilization or some shit)- but it was definitely my first real foray. it ended up not being too complicated- i figured out what lines read the text file and just added a few extra parameters to them. it was enough for it to legally count as coding. i had also offered to fix some bugs. my first bug to fix was related to meloetta transforming in battle (ironically, something that i ended up removing entirely later). i didn't fix it. battle code too complicated. didn't wanna. back to text files thanksbye (somewhere in here i did a little more coding in grad school. it was kinda unnotable and got derailed by this "corona" thing you may have heard about. it was in c++ and was frustrating.)

so i mentioned that rmxp was bad and essentials was bad. one way that this manifested was that the game was really slow. i mean really slow. rmxp was an engine made in 2003. essentials was a scriptset made out of silly string. if you managed to get it to run smoothly then, well, you were probably lying. it ran like shit for everyone on every computer. i fuckin hated that. so two things happened. first was that i dug up an engine called mkxp and it made the game run a bit better. still not great! but better. then someone by the name of perrence dropped into ame's patreon server (hello did you know that ame has a patreon? you probably don't because she never talks about it, but this is MY post and IM talking about it and it's right here) and was like "hey this game is really slow and i have a thing called a profiler that will tell you where it's slow". oh man. this was, like, my calling. my sworn duty. my mission. i went apeshit on those scripts. i am not going to go into detail about what i did, since you can read about it on the dev blog. this post is about me. and not only did i go apeshit on those scripts, i googled the fuck out of them, too. my optimization binge was really a perfect storm of factors: i was very highly motivated, had a script with lots of inefficiencies to experiment on, and had a shitload of free time because it was summer during a pandemic. i think i spent 70-80 hours a week for, like, a month or two, just tinkering around with the scripts. anything i wasn't familiar with (which was really a fair amount of stuff) i looked up online. i tried tons of different ways to improve the code until i got tired of the specific issue i was working on and moved on. this whole experience was important because 1.) it made me realize that, hey, maybe i'm not too bad at coding! and 2.) i really like writing clean, pretty, efficient code. so that was really what got me started. i've done a lot since then! the original optimization blitz wa- oh my god it was two years ago what the fuck-- sorry, sorry. i'm ok. whew. the original optimization blitz was (*breathes) two years ago, and it made me comfortable enough with the scripts that whenever i found an issue that annoyed the hell out of me, i could just get rid of it. and i've done that a lot since then! (there'll be another coding post soon, trust)

i, uh, it's been almost an hour and a half.

oops!

so i'll just put in a few general tips:

- coding classes suck and you shouldn't take them (or, at least, nothing beyond the basics) anything you can learn about coding from a class you can learn on the internet. there are tons of tutorials online for general knowledge. even beyond that, if you have a more niche/specific question (hey is there a speed difference between a case statement and a conditional) there's probably a bunch of other people who have also wondered that and one one of them has almost certainly done so on a message board. there's lots of information out there if you're searching for it. which...

- coding class assignments suck and you should avoid them there is not a single person in the universe who has gotten passionate about homework. the only exception to this is when an assignment goes beyond just being homework. part of why i got so into my work was because it wasn't just work- my efforts resulted in a meaningful difference that i could visibly see (granted, i was seeing it in an FPS counter, but that's not nothing!). if you can find something that you can tinker around with and have an enjoyable time doing so, it'll be far better for you than a stupid c++ class. which...

- c++ sucks and you should avoid it ok this isn't actually that true, i'm just sticking to the format. there are a lot of coding languages. they all have their quirks and specific syntax and different uses, but they all follow the same fundamental rules: all you do with code is use logic to mess with data on a computer. that's basically all it comes down to! you tell a computer "hey, this thing does this, and that thing does that, and if this thing is equal to some other thing it should do something else" and you've coded. so find a coding language that you like. i don't like c++! it has a lot of rigid syntax rules and isn't very flexible. low-level coding languages are like that. ruby is great. i like ruby. you can make some really pretty code with ruby. coding in ruby is a little more like writing prose, where coding in c++ is like writing an instruction manual. high-level languages like that are much more pleasant.

one last thing.

- watch out for assholes! so i don't know what gives, but there are a lot of people in this business with really big egos. this is incredibly anecdotal, but i have a running theory that coding classes teach you that there is a "right" way and a "wrong" way to code and, as a result, there are a lot of comp sci majors with their heads up their asses. there was actually a guy who made fun of someone because "real developers" coded and he just edited text files! please never be like that. there was another guy who dropped into my comment section to chadsplain* how to program to me. that guy is still probably off running relic castle, too. coding's more of an art than a science, and "good code" isn't really a thing. obviously i really care about pretty, optimized code, but the thing about code is that most people aren't going to see it anyway. *chadsplain (v.) an explanation given under the assumption of the superiority of the person offering the explanation.

fuck it's been another half hour. i'm just bitching about people at this point anyway, so i'm going to do everyone a favor and cut myself off.

tldr: find a project you like, in a language you like, and google things you don't know. that's all i did.

[cherryonclouds]

I miss 2017-2019 YouTube. My favourite people really popped off back then like Sade Watkins and bestdressed.

They seemed really authentic to me - just two women navigating their lives and also posting content on the internet.

Sade was always vibes, whether it was her GRWMs, conversations, or room decor. I think somewhere along the line her trauma got to her and she blames everything on spiritual forces. Not really my cup of tea.

I remember having a few solid videos I loved from her. The room makeover and tour, the dick appointment video, her 70s fluffy wig and a whole lot more. She took a lot of them down.

Honestly I haven't watched a whole lot of her new content because of the whole religious perspectives. I just sense the negative energy, so I don't even want to engage. So basically I know nothing except that everything is spiritual and you can't have anything because you know... Demons and shit.

Honestly after having grown up hearing my parents tell me that the reason our family didn't have a lot was because of God's will and he was testing us - best believe I no longer want to hear that. It wasn't God, it was your beliefs, which guided your actions and then my siblings and I suffered as a result.

I will never say that it's some external entity that does anything to me because I know better.

But everyone has their phases. I used to believe that if it was God's will it would happen but now I disagree. I never went so hard about things though because I dislike being a victim and constantly blaming my issues on external sources is never taking control... And maintaining that victim status.

So I've chosen not to engage. It would be really nice if she were to come back with her old content and stuff. Because she brought hot takes, her comment section was always full of stories from the other women who related to her, and I for one was happy to see her flourish, make her coins and leave her toxic life behind.

Now she just seems like she's holding on to Christianity as a crutch to justify her pain and suffering. Which I have no doubt is entirely real, but maybe the help she needs is different from the types she's gotten so far. I know. I was there once. I was actually hard core into atheism as a way to demonize Christianity but even that's a lot of work to constantly be justifying.

Bestdressed was cool. I adored her stuff so much. I think I was watching her for a solid year and a half before unsubscribing. At some point I even had post notifications on, and I'd be excited every Thursday for when she'd post.

2019 was a hard year for her. She did her best. Her mental health was all a whole hot mess, she had gotten into and out of a relationship in a year, suffered immense burnout from upping her video quality, but not decreasing her upload schedule or outsourcing certain things.

Then 2020 came. She posted her NYFW Trilogy, a couple more videos and one of her talking about how 2020 had affected her. That last video apparently was taken so poorly that she took it down and just went to other platforms to continue her content creation.

And I guess I was seeing it coming, since despite her editing skills being top tier she seemed like she was losing her shit. And she was changing. She moved to NY which is a really stressful looking place, and life kinda hit her, especially with covid and living alone.

I stopped following her on ig because she always looked depressed and the self deprecating humor, while funny in 2018/2019 was not after that for me.

I still miss that era though. It seemed so expansive and open. Like even though they had bad times or hard moments, it was more expansive, creative and fun. Kinda reminds me of me in 2016 when everything seemed that way in my life. It was nice knowing there were people online living in that same way.

I hope Sade ends up ok. I hope bestdressed is also ok.

And maybe at some other point in their lives, they'll come back how they used to be - open, expansive and authentic. Although I do think both of them are being authentic, since authenticity is about being true to yourself in the moment, maybe just more open, expansive and in control.

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts day 6

From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven't written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. Anyway I've finished the first draft (it topped out at 88k words) and will be unlocking each post as I edit.

***

read from the beginning here

Day 5 here

***

7. “Can I… can I touch you?”

18. "You. Me. Bed. Clothes off. Now.”

***

Tim managed to keep himself so busy for the rest of his patrol that he only obsessed over what would happen later for fifty percent of it. Considering his brain's tendency to worry at any sort of uncertainty like a Chihuahua with a mail carrier's ankle, that was pretty impressive.

Once he'd showered and entered his patrol notes back at the Cave, he straddled his bike and waved goodbye to Steph, who was still typing at a workstation. Damian had somehow managed to be near him during their entire debrief period, although he betrayed no signs of tracking him or aiming for his side.

"See you there?" Tim murmured, bent to check his side stand as if he suddenly doubted his ability to raise it properly.

Damian appeared to be engrossed in replacing one of the Batmobile's armored panels, but the corners of his mouth tilted up almost imperceptibly. "Forty-five minutes behind you."

The ride back to the Nest and the wait afterward seemed to take forever. Tim finally flipped open his laptop and started working on the weapons trafficking case he, Jason, and Damian had been collaborating on just to keep himself from spiraling. He clicked from open file to open file, unseeing.

It isn't a bad idea. We'll have one more night and get it out of both our systems. This is just a weird interpersonal hiccup because we have too much proximity to really walk away. It doesn't mean anything.

If he'd been interviewing a suspect spouting the same nonsense his brain was churning out, he would have said they were full of shit. He decided he was going to be convinced regardless and went to prep. Efficiency was important, or something.

A soft knock on the door thirty minutes later had him rushing to open it. "Hey," he greeted, trying not to sound out of breath although he had no memory of the journey between his couch and the entrance. "Everything okay?"

Damian didn't look perturbed, exactly, but he did have a line between his eyebrows that usually signified confusion. "Father wanted to know why I was coming to see you."

Tim watched him kick off his shoes and line them up against the wall. After a brief hesitation, he pulled off his socks as well and tucked them into the shoes. "You told him you were leaving? Why?"

"I didn't. He just knew, somehow. I thought we were too discreet for him to have noticed. Anyway, I told him we were working on the weapons trafficking case." Damian shrugged. "He didn't seem overly interested in my coming here, but he did ask several questions about the case itself."

Tim scoffed. "So he was testing you out to see if we were really talking about the case. If he bothered to read our notes more often he'd know that we've been prioritizing it for weeks now. Oh, well. If he checks my activity tonight he'll see I opened up the files so that'll back up your story."

"As you say." He fell silent. Tim waited for a second, but just as he was about to suggest going to his room, Damian asked, "May I touch you?"

It wasn't like him to sound so tentative, but Tim thought it was a good sign that Damian, whose grasp on common courtesies was what could often generously be termed as "loose," knew that sex was one area where he couldn't make unilateral demands.

"Yeah." He stepped close enough to wrap his arms around Damian's neck. "Please do."

He expected Damian to kiss his mouth immediately. Instead, he brushed back a wayward strand of Tim's hair and then kissed the tender skin just below his ear. Tim shivered and leaned into his warmth.

Damian kissed down his neck, each imprint of his lips making more goosebumps break out on Tim's skin despite their heat. He didn't seem quite as overwhelmed as he had last time, but that would probably turn out to be a good thing. Still, the gentleness was feeling a little too intimate for a no-strings-attached type of night, so Tim decided to change the tone.

"C'mere," he said, holding Damian's face in both hands to direct his mouth up.

Tim took care to make this kiss unmistakably horny, biting his way past Damian's lips and pressing his tongue deep as soon as Damian let him in. Damian's groan resonated into his own chest as Tim slid one hand down to grab his ass. Tim dragged him flush against his body and parted his legs to grind against Damian's thigh, thick with muscle. Fuck, why did he have to feel so good? Tim's stomach was already melting into a churning mess of heat and want.

He pulled his head back to find Damian looking dazed, flushed with arousal and reddened lips parted. Tim wanted to destroy him. "Okay, I've got a plan," he breathed.

Damian's mouth quirked, and his gaze sharpened slightly with amusement. "Why am I not surprised?"

"No, no, listen, I think you'll like it." Tim stood on tiptoe to kiss him again, fully hard now and making no attempt to hide it. "You. Me. Bed. Clothes off. Now."Damian nodded. "You are a master strategist." And he grabbed Tim's hand to rush toward the bedroom.

day seven here

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[ingravinoveritas]

About this whole shipping situation. 1. I don't ship real people, nor do I ship DT and MS, but it's quite understandable why so many people ship them. Although, I think people shouldn't take the "lover", "marrying MS" thing seriously. It's just them teasing the fandom for the sake of Good Omens. I even have serious doubts that they're as close as they appeared during the press.

2. Three months ago someone said MS actually tweeted he doesn't want people to ship him with DT. They said it was in a tweet from 2019. I've been searching, but I haven't found it. Do you know know anything about this?

Hello Anon. I’d like to start my response to this by thanking you for voicing your misgivings so respectfully, as I have had several rude and sometimes nasty Anons come at me on this topic, so this is a most welcome change of pace.

To address your first point, I will agree that some things that happened during the GO press tour were probably exaggerated. One example being the eggplant emoji thing on Graham Norton, as well as pretty much any instance of David acting clueless about something sexual because he is nowhere near as innocent or naive as he pretends to be. I’ll even give you that the “Maybe I should’ve married Michael Sheen” comment from David was him teasing the fandom, as he is wont to do, knowing full well what kind of reaction that would elicit from the fans.

But the wild card in all this, the "x” factor...the Welsh fly in the ointment, if you will...is Michael. Michael has certainly had his moments of teasing the fandom, but it’s almost impossible to talk about that without also acknowledging that Michael IS the fandom. We know how much the GO fandom has meant to him, how this community is something he’s honored to be a member of, and how he’s the biggest Ineffable Husbands shipper this side of Alpha Centauri. Yet so much of what Michael has said goes far beyond normal fandom teasing, and certainly beyond him just talking about Aziraphale and Crowley.

One of the wonderful things about Michael is that he has a tendency to let slip his true feelings--for good and for bad. So even when he does tease the fandom, there is some nugget of truth in there that puts it onto a different level. And because he is part of the fandom, it seems like he says these things not just because it’s what the fans want to hear, but because he wants to hear it. When David made the “Maybe I should’ve married Michael Sheen” comment, there was a context--he was asked a question about which co-stars he’s had the most chemistry with, and there was a perfect lead up to that comment based on his answer. But Michael calling David his “lover” had no such context. It wasn’t a fandom audience, and the conversation wasn’t even about Good Omens, so why say that? Then there was Michael describing David’s hips as “slinky” earlier this year, which... I have yet to find the straight man who would notice that, let alone make such a comment. (But more on that in a moment.)

I’m not sure what it is that makes you doubt Michael and David’s relationship is what it comes off so strongly as, but I truly believe their friendship/relationship blossomed over the course of filming GO, and then during the press tour as well. They probably did work out how they were going to approach the repetitive interview questions and the red carpet banter, but it’s not the big, flirty remarks or jokes that have stood out to me most. What convinced me of Michael and David’s closeness were the small moments between them--certain looks and little offhanded comments which occurred both when they were together on the press tour and separately long after, feeding into a chemistry that is palpable in pictures and video alike.

In regard to your second point, I have been following Michael on Twitter since May of last year, and I can’t think of anything that sounds less like him than what that person is claiming he tweeted. In all honesty, having dealt with similar issues in other fandoms, that sounds to me more like what someone says because they are uncomfortable with RPF, not something the celebrity said themselves. And in this instance, the idea is so laughable because that statement runs completely contrary to everything Michael actually HAS said and done, so it makes zero sense for him to tweet that.

To go back to the “slinky hips” remark I mentioned earlier: Why on god’s green and verdant earth would Michael talk about David’s hips being slinky if he DIDN’T want people shipping them together? Why would he call David his lover if he was NOT okay with people thinking that David is his lover?  If he was as opposed to shipping as that alleged tweet suggests, none of the things he’s said about David over the last year--hell, the last six months--would ever have happened.

So, no, I am not aware of any tweet from 2019 of that nature, nor have I found one after searching (I’d be curious to know if the person who told you that has a screenshot, though somehow I doubt it). I also highly doubt Michael gives a shit if people ship him with David, if only because he could’ve erased all doubt ages ago if he actually wanted to...but instead he just keeps encouraging it. Just my $0.02, anyway...