#i haven’t finished it but im about 2/3 done and he hasn’t done SHIT to deserve the male manipulator title

[d1sheclectic]

Why does everyone hate skrunkly holden caulfield all he’s just a silly who has sooo much unprocessed grief and talks about how much he loves his little sister and wonders where the hell the ducks go in winter🙁💔💔

[aloera]

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

[mail-me-a-snail]

House Keys

chase…oh chase i love you so but you’re in for it now. chase brody, the former bro average superstar, comes home for the first time in a year.

part 1 part 2 part 3 Even if Chase Brody had moved out the year prior, he still has the keys to his brothers’ house. He stands now on the crisp, green lawn and swings the key-chain around. He cards a hand through his hair and rubs his eyes—he doesn’t get much sleep these days. Three years before he moved into his brothers’ house, he was sleeping in the back of his car. He’s been conditioned to fall asleep on the hard leather of the car seat, not in his own bed. He didn’t have a bed those weeks. Stacy and him still don’t talk.

He shoots Marvin a text.

hey bro im outside. will come in with the keys. jackie okay? are you all okay? There’s no response. Chase shrugs and tucks his phone into the pocket of his jeans. He’s a little hurt, but it’s fine. It’s Chase’s first visit since he’s moved out. It’s exactly as he remembers it. The lawn is in immaculate condition, with the hedges trimmed neatly and flowers springing up all over the place—Jameson was always in charge of that. He has an eye for lawn care. He takes after Jack. The door and porch are dark mahogany, though it’s washed in orange now as the sun is starting to set. The house itself is painted an egg white. The tiles of the roof are black. Potted plants litter the porch, some new, some old, but all beautiful and trimmed to perfection. No doubt it’s Marvin’s work. The sidewalk he stands on is decorated with faded chalk drawings. Robbie. Of course. Chase is standing on his own face drawn in chalk. It’s a wonderful likeness and Chase can’t help but smile. Robbie even got the faded green in his hair. He steps off. He doesn’t want to ruin a masterpiece. The light in the wide upper story window—Henrik’s room—is off. The doctor’s probably getting his much needed and deserved forty winks. The only light on is in the living room. He takes a deep breath, the kind that pulls his shoulders up like he’s shrugging, and walks towards the door. Anxiety wriggles in his belly. He clutches the keys tightly in his hand—they bite into the skin and leave an impression with their teeth. He remembers the call with Marvin the night before. He had been in his apartment putting together some videos when his phone had rung. Marvin had explained everything to him; finding Jackie bleeding out in the city, teleporting him home, the surgeries…all of it. Jackie was okay, Marvin had assured him, and that he would heal. But the fact that it was…was you-know-who’s work… It hadn’t stop his hands from shaking as soon as he said goodbye and dropped the call nor did it let him breathe. His panic attacks were always bad, but he managed the one he had that night fine. And the one in the bathroom this morning. On the drive here, too. He doesn’t have everything under control yet. Being here again reminds him of all the times you-know-who had been there. He had been there, for Jack and Henrik. It went the same way; a phone call. A panic attack. The fear. Now it’s happening all over again. Why can’t he ever escape the demon? Why can’t any of them? Even a year after…he still looks over his shoulder and tosses and turns at night. When will he stop being afraid? The keys bite into his palm like his old dog had lovingly done. He misses him. Stacy had to take that away from him, too. The sting and the thought of Bulls-eye grounds Chase and he lets go, letting it hang by the key-chain instead. Deep breaths. He slides the key into the lock and turns. The door opens. Chase looks around as he steps into the hall. It’s just the same. The walls are orange. The umbrella stand to the right of the door filled with Marvin’s props, the coat hanger opposite, and the stairs upwards at the very front. To his immediate left is the closed door to Henrik’s makeshift clinic. To his right is the doorway to the living room. There’s a movie on, though Chase can’t identify it as the volume is set way down low. He doesn’t know where to go first as he stands awkwardly in the middle space. “Hello?” He says to the seemingly empty house. “Is anyone home? Marv? Schneep?” “Chase,” His heart skips a beat when he hears the raspy call from the living room, but he brightens when he recognizes the voice. “In here.” Chase has to stop himself from running into the living room. Brown couch, flat screen TV (playing Die Hard, of course), wide windows, and white curtains that blow softly. The coffee table has coffee mug rings on it and abandoned medical supplies like gauze, cotton balls, and antibiotics. Henrik’s neatly folded coat, too. Jackie sits on the couch in a black t-shirt with the brightly coloured graphic of a cartoon dog on a bicycle. He wears the flamingo shorts to accompany it. It’s the first time Chase has seen the hero out of his supersuit; it almost feels wrong. His hair is the neon green Chase remembers it to be. He’s wearing his mask. The only sign he’s been hurt at all are the bandages around his neck and forehead. He’s hardly watching the movie. He has a big smile on his face, the toothy kind of sunshine Chase missed so much. “Jackie,” he breathes. Chase wants to cry with relief. He settles with hugging Jackie as tightly as he can. “I missed you, Jackie,” he says, muffled as he buries his head into the hero’s chest. “I was so worried about you!” “O-ow, ow,” the other hacks out a laugh and winces, patting Chase’s back. “I missed you, too, bud, but…stab wound.” “Shit, right, sorry.” Chase lets go, albeit reluctantly. “Dude, how are you? It’s, I mean—I’ve never been stabbed before.” “I don’t recommend it,” Jackie grimaces. There’s humour in his voice but he also sounds exhausted. “You get here okay?” “Parked out front,” he says, “Came in with the keys. Still have ‘em.” He holds them up to confirm that. He drops them in his lap. “How’re you holding up?” “This thing—” Jackie pats his stomach, presumably where the wound is. “—is a bitch and a half of pain. The neck thing I can handle. It just hurts to talk.” He coughs. It sounds like shaking a dead bush. “Really hurts.” “Oh, I can do the talking, if you want.” “No, it’s okay, Chase. Marvin did something to me, I think, when I was out. Makes my mouth and throat taste like mint. Pretty soothing, actually. Besides, I haven’t seen you in forever! I want to talk.” How can he be so chipper even after he almost died? Chase doesn’t understand it. He really is a comic book superhero. Always getting back up again. “Aw, it hasn’t been that long,” Chase ducks his head, sheepish, but straightens right away. “Can I ask, though? What…what happened?” The silence is thick with tension. Chase bounces his leg, the sole of his sneaker squeaking against the hardwood floor, and pulls at the rubber bracelet around his right wrist under his hoodie sleeve. He picks at the multicoloured bandages on his fingers and arms. Jackie turns the TV off just as John McClain launches himself through a window. He turns to Chase. Their knees touch. “This is what I remember,” Jackie says, and begins. He had met Anti during one of his day patrols, but it wasn’t the song and dance number they usually did; it was in the back-alleys where no one could see them. Maybe that’s what Anti wanted. Maybe it wasn’t. “Anti had…had said something to me,” he mumbles, “that I’m not the hero I think I am. That all of what we do, this hero versus villain thing, is just a show. I-I don’t know why he’s been pretending this long, or…or what he hopes to gain, but…” Chase watches him closely. Jackie stops, shakes his head, and moves on. That’s how the hero has always been. Hit a wall? Just go around. Forget about the wall and keep going. He remembers the fight—and the pinning stab through the gut. The words Anti whispered into his ear. Chase is trembling with raw anger as he sees the large dark bruise marks wrapped around Jackie’s neck where Anti’s hands had been. “But after that,” he growls in frustration, “I can’t remember anything else. By my wound here, I can guess what finished me off.” He taps his neck. “Everything else is beyond me.” “Fuck him” Chase breathes, voice quivering with fury, “You’re a hero to me, to everyone. To Jack.” Jackie flinches when he hears those words. “I don’t have any powers,” Jackie mutters. “What? Yeah, you do! That—that super strength of yours!” “Anti can manipulate objects,” Jackie shoots back, “Time and space, just like Marvin can. How do I know he hasn’t been doing it for me this whole time?” “I…I don’t know.” The anger evaporates as quickly as it came. “I-I don’t want to talk about this.” Jackie throws his hands up. “Please, Chase, let’s…let’s talk about you, okay? I want to hear about where you’ve been—what you’ve done.” Chase bites his lip, trying to find a way to stop the subject from changing. The one frustrating thing about superheroes? They build walls around them, shutting the people they love out hoping to save them from whatever inner turmoil they’re wrangling with. …Chase isn’t stupid or in denial. Even he can admit the similarities between them. But that’s just it. Chase knows he does it—Jackie doesn’t. He’d rather not push further and get into an argument, spoiling the whole visit, so Chase drops it. It’ll sit in the back of his mind, though. He tells Jackie about the new apartment; it’s spacious and less of a dump than the last one. Modest kitchen, shower instead of a tub. “I miss the tub here,” he says forlornly, gesturing to the stairs. “And my little rubber ducky. Shower’s okay, though.” He earns Jackie’s laugh. The apartment is far into the city, maybe ten blocks away from the alley Marvin had found Jackie in, and just across a coffee shop. Having cleaner, more colorful walls than ugly white granite that popcorned helps a lot to take his mind off more…painful things. He hung up posters, bought a flatscreen, had a whole new gaming rig up for himself—he’s doing okay for himself, he thinks. The therapy, the talking, has brought him out of the hole he was in three years before. He tells him about new friends. Baristas at the coffee shop who’ve recognized him as a regular. YouTube is more fun than anything for him right now. The Bro Average brand was dissolved, but he couldn’t care less. It had been time for a fresh start. His channel is up and running and he’s been invited to panels, talks, and conventions. Some people from AA said they had watched his videos. He tells Jackie about how good it is to just. Work. To produce content for others to consume, to make people happy, but not at the cost of his own happiness. He notices he’s rambling when Jackie says nothing and keeps beaming at him. He falters and lets his words trail off into silence. “What?” Chase says. “I’m so proud of you,” Jackie replies, and the pride is trembling in his voice. “Chase, you’ve gotten so far without us. You’ve got a job, a new house—you’re practically shining!” “You’re…you’re proud of me? You mean it?” Chase feels himself smile, too. “Yes. I’m proud.” Jackie puts a hand on his shoulder. “You’re my bro. You’re the bravest damn person I know and you’ve come out of this so strong, so…it’s…Jack would be proud too.” Chase understands why he starts crying. That’s all he ever wanted. To hear those words come out of Jackie’s mouth. It means he’s done it. He’s gotten better. Maybe not recovered fully, not just yet, but better. Even in his joy, he hates himself for crying because whenever he cries he bawls like a big baby. He buries his face into Jackie’s chest, shoulders shaking. He’s staring at the cartoon dog through blurry, teary eyes. The dog says, in a neon bubble, “RADICAL!” The other rubs his back in soothing circles. “That’s it, buddy,” Jackie whispers, “I’ve got you, bro.” Chase swallows thickly, sniffles, and wipes his face with the back of his hand. Jackie hands him a tissue and he blows. His eyes are stuffy. He looks up into Jackie’s eyes, milky white, hidden behind the film in the mask, but he can tell they’re full of soft, unspoken love. The hero holds his cheek. “Chase Brody Mcloughlin,” Jackie declares, “I, your loving bro, will never stop being proud of you. Don’t forget that.” “Thanks, Jackie,” he sniffs, wiping his eyes. “Thank you. It’s…i-it’s nice to hear that what I’m doing is finally right.” “We’re all proud of you.” Jackie’s hand drops but gives Chase’s shoulder one last firm pat. “S-speaking of,” Chase clears his throat. “Speaking of…where is everyone?” Jackie blanks. “Uh,” he says, unsure. “Good question, actually! No idea. I woke up, like, ten minutes before you came in. I kind of assumed Henrik went to work, and who knows where Marvin is at any given time? JJ and Robbie are out on vacation or something. It’s just Henrik, Marvin, and I.” “Huh,” Chase frowns and stands. “You wait here, Jackie. Henrik can’t have gone to work; he’d never leave you here alone.” “Marvin would be watching over me!” He argues. “This is Marvin we’re talking about!” He shoots back as he leaves the room. He considers going upstairs but stops before he can do it. He notices, to his surprise, that across the hall the clinic’s lights are on. How did he not notice that coming in? The harsh white fluorescents bounce off the tiles and under the door. Chase knocks. “Doc? Marv?” He says, “Yoo-hoo. Anyone in there?” Of course, unsettling silence follows. Great. Chase has played enough horror games to know that whatever’s on the other side is bad. He flinches as glass shatters behind the door. A shadow moves under the door. “Henrik?” “Schiesse!” comes a muffled curse to answer. Angry German swearing? Yeah. That’s Henrik. “What the hell was that?!” Jackie says from the couch, halfway to standing. Chase notices he’s wobbling like a newborn deer. “Jackie, get back on the couch,” Chase scolds the hero, “You’re in no condition to walk!” He turns back to the door. “Doc, I’m coming in.” He takes a deep breath, grips the doorknob, and turns. What he finds on the other side isn’t horrible, so he releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding. Henrik, hair messy and eye bags seemingly darker, clutching his head, is kneeling among shattered glass. From the way the metal table beside the hospital bed is on its side, Chase surmises that Henrik knocked it and the beakers that were on it to the ground when he tried to stand. “Doc!” He exclaims, rushing over to Henrik. He takes the doctor by the arm, helping him up, and looping the arm around his shoulders. “Danke,” Henrik grumbles, eyes still squeezed shut. “Chase, is that you?” “A-are you blind, Henrik?” Panic momentarily flares up in him. “Oh, jeez, I can get something for your eyes. Maybe ice—” “No,” Henrik sighs, but in the most affectionate way possible. He opens his eyes halfway, tired grey-blues looking up at him. “Chase, relax. I’m not blind. It’s these damn fluorescents—they could make me go blind. I don’t know why I thought they were a good idea. This nausea…it’s like someone took a hammer to my skull. Might as well have… I see enough of those lights in the hospital. Is it any wonder I wear glasses…” Henrik reaches into his pocket for something. He swears again as he brings out the bent and cracked frames of his glasses. “Oh, that is just great,” he hisses under his breath, “They must’ve gotten smashed in the fight.” “T…the what?” This is plenty strange already, but of course, he just has to notice only now that Marvin is crumpled in a desk chair, long, flowy hair messy and tangled, falling behind him as his head leans back, showing his neck. “Oh my God—Marvin!” “He’s okay,” Henrik straightens, though he’s still too weak to stand. Chase helps him into another chair. The doctor sits down with a sigh of relief, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. “What the hell happened here?” Chase gestures vaguely to the entire room. “To Marvin? Actually, to you? Was it…was it you-know-who?” “Anti,” the doctor spits. Chase winces at the name. “It’s not right to fear his name. He and I had an…encounter last night. I thought I was going to die.” He briefly touches his neck. Chase sees all the scars crisscrossed there; it’s why the doctor wears turtlenecks to work. He’s always been insecure about them. “I thought it was all over but…but I woke up here. My head hurts like a bitch but I’ve got no other wounds. My neck, my concussion—they’re healed, like they were never there. "So, I have reason to believe,” he continues, “Marvin used the full extent of his magic to save me. It’s probably why he’s passed out.” “He’s always been shit at restoration magic,” Chase jokes, but turns serious right away. “Jesus, doc. Are you really okay? Why the fuck did you-know-wh—I mean,—A…Anti go after you?” “Teach me a lesson? Finish me off?” Henrik raises his shoulder in a shrug. “Your guess is as good as mine. God, I’m sorry, Chase, that this is the scene you’ve returned to. You’ve had enough of this…this Anti business, and now we’re dragging you back into it. Forgive me.” “No, doc, don’t say that,” Chase waves him off, “it’s not your fault. Besides, the guy’s messing with my brothers. That’s not gonna fly with me.” His voice shakes. He knows how unconvincing his moxie is. He swallows the stone in his throat and turns away before Henrik can call him out on it. The man crosses the room and takes a trauma blanket from the cabinet—he practically knows the clinic as well as Henrik does—and drapes it over Marvin. The magician barely stirs. He’s completely out. “CHASE? IS EVERYONE OKAY?” Jackie shouts from the living room. Chase startles and nearly knocks some important doodad over. Henrik’s blue eyes crackle to life at the sound of the hero’s voice. “He’s okay,” he says more to himself than Chase, “Oh, God, he’s okay.” To Chase, he says, “Chase, help me up—I must see Jackie.” “But what about Marv?” “He’ll need rest. Neither of us are strong enough to move him upstairs. Please, Chase, let’s go.” Henrik is almost begging. The tone unnerves and stirs Chase into action. He helps the doctor, slowly and surely, into the living room. “Henrik?” Jackie breaths, “What happened to you? Why are you limping? Is Marvin o—” Henrik launches himself from Chase’s arms and onto Jackie, nearly tackling the hero into the sofa. Jackie grunts in pain. “You idiot,” Henrik growls, though with utmost love. “You had me so worried! You could’ve died.” He hugs Jackie tight, despite his weak state. “Don’t ever do that again.” “What, get stabbed?” When Henrik glares up at him, he sobers. “Okay, okay. I won’t. I promise. Chase, where’s Marvin?” “Getting some rest,” Chase explains, “He used a whole bunch of his magic to heal Henrik. A-Anti attacked the doc last night.” “He…what?” Jackie’s tone is dangerously quiet. His shoulders are tense—he looks like an apex predator. It takes everything in Chase not to back away. “Calm yourself,” Henrik cautions, “I’m okay now. Marvin made sure of it. It is true; I had a fight with Anti and…I did not emerge the victor. But it’s alright. I’m alright.” Jackie deflates and hugs Henrik back. “I’m glad you’re okay, doc.” “You too, Jackie.” Chase bites his lip and leaves the room. He knows what he said about Anti, that he’d be ready to fight the demon again, given the chance. It’s one big lie, because he is fucking terrified of Anti, terrified of the fact that this is all very real, and that it had gotten all too real very fast. He wants to run away in that stupid little way of his, where he drives and drives until he can’t or locks himself up in his room, anywhere where Anti can’t reach him. He’s managed not to see the demon for a full year. He can’t do this. He can’t. Not again. Not again. – Chase goes up to his room and finds the hatch to the roof still unlocked. He goes out and sits there, on the uncomfortable tiles, and stares up at the stars. It’s somewhere around 11:30, maybe midnight. He doesn’t check his phone. Henrik’s gone to sleep. Jackie had helped Chase move Marvin to the couch. The both of them weren’t nearly strong enough to bring him up to his bedroom. Some part of Chase is telling him to relapse. To drink. He snaps the rubber bracelet against his wrist over and over instead. It makes an angry red mark. It’s a distraction. It makes him all the more ashamed of how fast he crumbles in the face of all this. He’s hasn’t gotten better. Even in the darkness, he knows what the bracelet says. He’s seen it, worn it ever since the last time Anti had tormented him. Alcoholics Anonymous, in white letters against a garish neon green. His mouth tastes of smoke. His eyes are heavy. He is tired and deflated. His brothers nearly dead—what a sight to come home to. At least now, he’s here for them. He is so tired, he doesn’t turn around when the hatch opens and Jackie sits beside him. He’s changed out of that cartoon dog shirt—he sports one of Henrik’s striped shirts. “Hey,” Jackie greets him softly. Chase can see the hero watching the bracelet snap repeatedly against his wrist, which he doesn’t stop. “Hey.” Silence. Cicadas. Snap. Snap. Snap. “How long have you been sober?” Chase knows how much Jackie wants to say more, but he doesn’t. It’s a simple question. “A year.” An exact year from the last time Anti hurt him. He and Jackie match in scars now. Not on the neck, though. “Dude, that’s awesome. I’m proud of you.” The words are hollow. He doesn’t deserve them. Snap. Snap. Snap. “Chase?” Snap. Snap. Snap. “Welcome home.” Chase breaths shakily. His wrist stings. He cries, the fourth time that day, and bites back the urge to scream. “He’s g-going to f-find me again,” he says through quick breaths, “I’m n-next.” “Chase…” The man shakes his head furiously. “I-I’m not leaving. If he think he can fucking s-scare me,” Chase hiccups, “he’s w-wrong. I’m tired of r-running away. I’m going to fight.” Nothing, for a moment. Then, Jackie says, “It’s what Jack would’ve wanted.” Chase cries harder at that. He wants to toss his house keys off this damn roof and never see them again, because they remind him too much of the doors he’s just opened up. He’s not afraid. Shaking and sobbing, he is not afraid. He is furious.

[merci-bitch]

Forceful Love Part ll

Rose The Hat x Fem!Reader

Warning (s): angst, sexual tension, swearing, fluff

A/N: Alright! Here it is! Part 2!! @desaulniersbriannes I hope you liked it! I saw you wanted a part 2 so I worked on it and here it is! It was fun to write despite at some parts it being difficult, but I mange!

Words: 2,5k

I stirred awake as I felt air filling my lungs again. I sat up, clenching my throat while scratching my chest for air. My vision was slightly blurry as I tried to blink away the tears that was starting to form my eyes as an result in my eyes being dry. I heard a laughter the my left side. I turned my head and saw Rose sitting in a chair, drinking what I guess was tea while wearing her ironic hat. 

“Stop. Just, fucking stop” She stopped but her wicked grin didn’t die down as she continued to sip her tea. “What the hell did you even do?!” She didn’t answer me, she just sat there. And watched me. “Are you even listening to me?!” She put down her tea cup as she walked over to the bed and sat down. “Are you done giving me lip?” She asked as she crossed her arms above her chest and as she croaked her head to the side. “You said this’d be easy! I felt as if I was dying?” “You were” My eyes went wide as my jaw dropped. She leant forward and captured my lips in a kiss. Pushing me down onto my back again and sitting onto of me. She leant down as she started to kiss up my cheek and onto my lips. She took off her own shirt and instructed me to remove her bra, which in my case didn’t go so well.

“Oh for fucks’ sake!” I didn’t know if it was just me being stupid for not having the skills to open a fucking bra or it was her playing tricks on me. “Hurry up, I’m not getting any younger” She looked down at me as she said it. “Could you maybe turn around so I cou-“ she cut me off with saying, “I gave you one, ONE, job. A monkey could’ve done a better job Y/N.” She sat up and took off her hat and laid on the table next to the bed. “If you’re so good why don’t you just do it?” She looked at me as if she was taken slightly aback. “Alright, watch and learn Y/N.” She turned around so her back was facing me. She laid her hair on her right shoulder as both her hands moved to the lock of her bra. “So you take this piece and unhook it with this one and walla!” She threw her bra onto the floor as she looked over her shoulder. I let out a huff as she turned around, completely exposing her chest to me. “I know how to unhook a fucking bra Rose” She sat on my lap as she took ahold of a piece of my hair. “Clearly you didn’t Y/N” She lifted my chin and made me look at her. “Fuck you Rose” She leant closer to my face as she let her own lips ghost over my own. “Fuck me Y/N instead. Much more fun”

~~~

I had been walking for quite some time now. I had a fight with Rose and needed time to cool off. It was about some stupid shit really. Andi and I had grown close and she had given me a kiss on the cheek then a hug. What’s so bad about that? And what about it? Rose had maybe marked me and called me hers but she never pointed out that I was ‘really’ hers. I’m a living, realistic human being. Oh wait, am I even human anymore? It’s already enough that we have to kidnap children and kill then because pain purifies steam and makes it better for us to survive but it hurts you know?

I was closer to the camp when I heard someone scream. That someone was Rose. I saw her on the ground, digging her nails into the ground as she continued to scream with her eyes closed. Tears rolling down her cheeks. I couldn’t move. I wanted to be there by her side but I couldn’t. She was screaming the names of the people in The True Knot, and of course Crow Daddy. But not my name, not even close. And at that moment I knew Dan was right all along. I threw my whole life away for someone who I thought I trusted. God, even loved. I was just one of her ‘toys’. What I couldn’t understand still was why the box didn’t work.

I started walking backwards. My sight of Rose disappearing as I turned around and walked further into the forest. I started to think. Think of everything that’s happened the past many months, years. It had been 8 years. I hasn’t meet Dan in so long, I wondered how he was doing. I didn’t know where I was going, I just kept walking. I didn’t even notice the tears streaming down my cheeks. I had walked out of the forest and was on a cliff. I stood at the end, looking down at how the water splashed against the rocks down by the coast. I wanted to get a closer look until I felt someone grab my arm and pull me back, making me turn around.

“Are you crazy?!” It was Rose. Cheeks tear stained. I huffed at her. “Crazy enough to fall in love with you” I mumbled under my breath. I felt Rose freeze. Her face expression turned blank as she let go of my arm. Her eyes looking back and forth at me. “Shall I snap my own neck now or later?” I crossed my arms above my chest as I realized she was walking backwards. “Wonderful. Just great.” I threw my hands in the air as I turned around again. “You-you love me?” I heard a weak voice behind me. I felt my eyes start to sting. I looked up at the sky and saw stars starting to appear. “I thought I did” I felt her presence next to me. “What do you meant with that?” I felt her eyes starring threw my face. I dropped my hands to my sides as I felt my cheeks fill with tears. “You-you said you had my back Rose, but as SOON as I have it turned, you’ve fucked off to god knows where!” I turned to face her as I dried my eyes.

“This, us?! Is just complete nonsense! I threw my whole life away because of you-for you! I trusted you enough to leave the people I loved behind. I left my friend Dan because I believed in what you said, you manipulated me, brainwashed me into thinking I actually meant anything to you! 8 years Rose. 8 fucking years! Im just another one of your little ‘toys’. Only meant for your pleasure. You sick son of a bitch” I saw the raw anger build up inside her threw her eyes. I started to walk away when I stopped. Turning around to face her once again. “Look, I get that you have to eat off children’s steam to survive and I lived with that. I accepted that despite it being hard to watch an incident child die in order for us to survive. How I watched you stab a little kid because pain purifies steam and makes it better for us, if you wanna count in that the sex is good or not I don’t really care but what I do care about is that you used me. For you simple pleasure.” I showed her the finger and walked away from the person I thought I had loved for the past 8 years.

As I made it back to the camp I walked into Rose’s RV and took out a back and started to pack my things. I heard the door open. I knew it was Rose but I didn’t care. Why should I? “With all due respect, intercourse yourself” I turned around and looked her straight in the eyes. Something i rarely did. “What?” She tilted her head to the side as she crossed her arms over her chest, making sure to push up her breasts. “Fuck you.” She let out a chuckle. She took her lower lip in between her teeth as she narrowed her eyes at me.

“Nope, nope. Too many eyes. Good luck that eldritch creature back where it came from, I’m out of here.” As I walked towards the door she grabbed my arm, her grip tight as I felt her nails digging into my skin. “There’s no need to be rude, my dear” My eyes went wide as her smile grew. “Are you serious? No-no you can’t be” She took ahold of my shoulders and made me face her directly. “If you don’t want to keep standing, may I suggest sitting in my lap? Much recommend. Great comfort quality.” Rose said as she sat down on her bed. I let out a snort at her cheesy comments. “I hate you Rose.” She took off her shoes as she crossed her legs. “Oh no sweetie. No you don’t” I walked up to her and pointed a finger at her. “Yes! You’re a sick son a bitch! A devil and a sex freak!” She but my finger then sucking it afterwards. Looking up at me. Releasing a deep moan as she let my finger go.

“St-stop!” I heard a low chuckle. “I can’t help it sweetheart. You’re fun to mess with.” “Oh real fun. Thanks”

~~~

I was standing out in the cold. In front of a hotel. Next to Rose. I looked up at the sky and smiled. “Reach for the stars!” I said I stretched my hand up towards the stars. “Reach up my arse!” I took down my hand as I turned to Rose. “We’re Americans here, please call it ass” She laughed as she leant in and kissed me. Lingering it for just a minute. “God, how I love you” I felt my cheeks grow hot. That was the first time she’s ever said those 3 words. “And I mean it Y/N.” I nodded as she took ahold of my hand walked inside the hotel.

As we walked threw the corridors we turned to the right and reached a big room. On the stairs I saw Dan and Abra. Dan’s went wide as he saw me, I even heard him say my name but I didn’t say anything. I kept my head down and stayed by Rose’s side. “Y/N? Is that really you?” Dan held an ax in his hands when it slowly dropped to the ground. I raised my head as I walked closer to him. Dan walked down the stairs and meet me halfway. “You-you look so different. I thought I would never see you again!” He embraced me in a hug. I had just now realized how much I had actually missed my best friend. “Save the crying for later my dear. I wanna finish what I came here to do” I looked over at Rose then back at Dan. “You’re with her? Why?” He raised his hands to my cheeks and rubbed his thumbs slowly under my eyes. I relaxed into his touch.

“Hands of handsome. She’s mine” I felt myself being drawn back towards Rose. “What did you do to her?!” Rose let out a deep laughter as she narrowed her eyes at him. “Oh dear. I haven’t done anything towards her. I gave her a life again, gave her love and a family who loves her! She’s reborn. And more powerful then you’ll ever be” He’s eyes changed from being on Rose to me. “Y/N?” I stood up. “She turned me Dan. I live of steam like she does and if I don’t get it, I die. You lied to me Dan” “what do you mean lied Y/N?!” I took out the box he had given me when we were kids. “It didn’t work.” I gave him the box as I walked back to Rose. She leant in and whispered in my ear,

“Mama’s proud of you, my dear”

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Shins-bro

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: Izuku and Shinso are best buds. Thats it. 

shinsou has a terrible mum and he's complaining about it "ironically"

like : "lmao my mum is gonna beat my ass for this shitty mark" and he's shocked when izuku is like 3 seconds away from tears

izuku drags shinso to his house and his mum is home and shinso is Spooked bc,, adult?? friends???

hes so scared that inkos gonna yell at him for doing something stupid but as soon as he walks in the door izuku trips over his own feet taking off his shoes and tackle hugs his mum

so izuku and inko are laughing and like, half-fallen over bc izuku is a chunky boy and shinso is so lost??? at the door and inko uses her quirk to pull him over by the shirt and join in the hug

udhihdsf she!!! picks both of them up and squishes these good heroes in the best mother hug

izuku is laughing and shinso is sh o o k bc this is the nicest hug he's ever had???

inko puts them both down and flushes a little, says sorry for hugging shinso but she hasn't seen her boy in so long! and he must be a lovely young man if he's friends with izuku

she bustles off to go stir dinner on the stove and izuku just grins and looks at shinso

"isn't my mum great?!"

",,,yeah"

he and shinso go to his room and izuku pulls out his old console

admits he used to make his mum play this fighting game over n over when he was little, and that she always used to pick this female hero with a big white cape because she liked her hair. he giggles and tells shinso that if he wants izuku can maybbbeee let him play allmight

he picks endeavour for a sec and asks shinso if je just wants to beat up endeavour for a minute before they really start

it turns into them setting like 6 AI to level 9 endeavours and them both playing allmight to beat the crap out of them

inko walks in w tea and little cakes she made and gasps happily bc she loved that game! so they restart the round with 2 allmights + 1 nana plus all the endeavour AI

izuku and shinso keep protecting inko's character from all the fire bc she doesn't deserve this

izuku shoves a cupcake into shinsou's mouth when he goes to ask izuku something

shinsou like, lights up bc he's never had home-baked stuff before and its sooooo good so he just kind melodramatic puts his controller down and says "i guess this is kamino ward 2.0" as all might gets crispy fried by the AI and shoves the cupcake into his face

izuku c a ck l e s

izuku and inko, melodramatically "we can't let allmight 1 fall!! protect him!!!" and they try to save this idle allmight as shinso watches w icing on his face

inko and izuku save idle allmight and shinso cheers softly. inko shoves a cupcake into hers and izuku's faces and hands another to shinso in celebration

she then ducks out to go take care of the dinner again. izuku giggles and puts dollop of icing on shinsos nose, who sneezes then looks offended that his nose dared to sneeze

shinso tries to lick the icing off he nose

but like

it's not working

and izuku is losing it laughing but shinso is stubborn and won't stop just bc what he's doing is v stupid. they end up w shinso's legs on izuku’s bed w his back on the floor, izuku leaning against the bed. shinso isn't really sure why he thought this was a good idea

and they run through English homework and shinso and izuku are both shockingly good and both refuse to admit its bc they spend too much time on tumblr/youtube

shinsou: gee izuku why are u so good at english

izuku, who has been reading self insert all might x reader fics for like 50% of his life: no reason :)))

fdguhdfghufh shinsou, who has been reading angsty fics of all his faves instead of going to therapy: wow same ,,,

also im sorry but, izuku def reads allmight self insert that isn't like "uwu dating you" but its like "what if allmight was ur best friend" or "allmight is your secret dad??? uwu"

u know all those old ass watt pad fics where one direction adopts u, that but all might and all the chapters are just

all might tucks u into bed after a hard school day and tells you he’s proud of you

all might fucking detroit smashes ur class bully into the concrete

u and all might attend the premiere of his latest docuseries and u cry bc there’s a whole preface abt how u changed his life for the better and he could not ask for a better child

izuku and shinso go through their old tumblr/wattpad/deviantart accounts and cry laugh

its all in terrible english and one of the comments is "are you 10 or can you just not speak english"

6 years later, izuku responds

"both, actually"

izuku writing vent fics but they’re like

“all might punches my classmate bc he stole my fuckign apple juice kacchan i hate u”

"all might tells me i don't need my fuckign dad i haven't seen since i was 4 and he becomes my new dad"

“all might tells me i have no bedtime and makes my mom dinner bc she’s stressed and she needs a nap”

"all might adopts me and marries my mum and has a kid who becomes my brother and best friend"

he wrote them all between 6-12 he started writing better shit when he was 12 and made a new account (better, not good.)

his first round of fics were like all in first person and shinsou’s w h e e z i n g like why’d u think this was a good idea. izuku s cryign bc hE WAS SIX HITOSHI STOP IT. its like really terrible english too

izuku is mad but then he realizes he was hitoshi's deviantart open and he g r i n s (its all shitty drawings of cats and his OC Hero ) there are like twenty pictures of his actual cat taken on a shoddy ds camera

also as like, a soft dumb thing izuku is like speed typing on his laptop and shinsou is like??

izuku shushes him n tells him he wants to finish it before dinner

what hes done

is he wrote one of the shitty self insert fics, intentionally shittily but w allmight as izukus dad and eraserhead and shinsous and they live together for no reason at the "hero apartments" and can be brothers

shinso is laughing and crying at the same time and izuku is like

",,,, im gonna send it to present mic"

"nO"

"do you think ill get extra credit?"

"nO DOnT DO IT"

izuku in retaliation sending in some of shinsou’s oldass oc comics and mics just

“i mean

it’s in english,,,”

they get extra credit but it's not really helpful bc they both had As now they both have A plus' but dont wan them

(mic sends it to all might and eraserhead but like, redacts shinso and izukus names and aizawa is twitching w either rage or laughter, all might is bright red and giggling like an idiot)

pls the teachers gc is just “all might and eraserhead tuck u in and call u a Good Boy” for the next three months

as a running joke, whenever they can, that's what izuku and shinso write for English

like in german we had to write plays and act out little skits in german. in english, they do that but like, izuku is eraserhead and shinso is a cat stuck in a tree 

they have to write sentences w different words? and they get "comfort" "rescue" and "light" and its all shit like

"my dad eraserhead rescued me from homework because mic is terrible"

"all might's fatherly love lights up the hole in my heart"

"the fatherly aura of allmight and eraserhead brings me comfort on my darkest days"

izuku gives the ol puppy dog eyes to aizawa who begrudgingly lets them sleep over at inko's house

and there is only one bed! and they cant decide who gets it

so

neither of them sleep in it and they both stubbornly lay on the floor. it takes like 5 seconds for them to start laughing

[cal-puddies]

your kind of heaven || pt 3. RSVP || luke hemmings

pt 1. || pt 2 || pt. 3 || pt. 4 || pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || pt. 7 || pt. 8 || pt. 9 || pt. 10

“Oh, we haven’t really started it.” He gives you a weird, but surprised look, he’s surprised you don’t know this. “Luke and Ash have both been working on some other things. Luke’s outta town with Sierra right now, they’re writing together for her new album. I thought you knew that…”

“Oh… yeah, of course, I… spaced it.” You shrug.

Cal knows that’s not true, beside it being incredibly unlike you that you’d forget, he can tell by your face that you didn’t know Luke was even talking to Sierra, he’d never brought it up. “Well let's get dinner this week, and catch up. You just got home from writing with Shawn, right?”

You nod. “Yeah I did, and sure. I’ll… Ill cook or something.”

“Nah, we’ll go out.” He shrugs, he hugs you one more time before he heads out.

You head to the register with the six bottles of wine, the two bottles of vodka, and the little bit of food you’d managed to get prior to hitting up the liquor section.

You had enough time to put the groceries away and pour a glass of wine before the front door was opening, Ms. P was scampering in and Luke was laughing with another girl. You recognize the voice, it’s Sierra. You wipe your hand over your face, he sets his bag down in the hall and they’re heading straight for the kitchen.

He looks surprised when he see you, “babe! Hey!” He grins. “Wasn’t expecting you.” He engulfs you. And that’s the thing about Luke, how you knew he wasn’t doing anything wrong, other than not telling you. He’d be different if there was something to hide.

“Clearly.” You mumble against him. “Hey Sierra.” You greet when he lets you go.

“Hey.” She gives you a small wave. She still blames you for their break up, though it’d been all Luke and years since it happened. “Im gonna go Luke, thank you again for this week.” She smiles.

“Oh, of course!” He grins, hugging her. “Think we got some great stuff.”

“Yeah for sure, you have a way of pulling it out of me.” She grins.

“Come on Ms. P.” You grab your wine and your phone and go out back.

Luke’s next to you quicker than you expect. “You ok?”

“On a trip alone for a whole week with your ex?” You ask.

“It’s not that different than you working with Shawn.” He sighs, “which I was really fucking cool about walking in on him kissing you.” He reminds you.

“It’s actually very different.” You pause, Luke sets the pack of cigarettes and lighter next to your wine glass. He knew you’d fight.

He watches you light up. “Tell me how.” Is all he says, simple, he’s starting to get irritated, but he just wants your rationale for now.

“I don’t have history with Shawn. I’ve never slept with Shawn. You spent years as her boyfriend, as the man she thought she’d marry. You’ve told her you love her and meant it romantically. So yeah, it’s different.” You inhale and let the smoke billow out.

“Ok, I hear you. But I want to point out again, that I walked in on Shawn kissing you.”

You take another drag and look over at him, giving him your smart ass smirk. “You know what I’m gonna say, just by the way you’re saying it. You’re right, he did kiss me. I didn’t kiss him back though, I didn’t encourage him, I didn’t ask him too. I didn’t want him too. And I left as soon as I could. And you know who I find out where the fuck you are from? Calum. Because Calum thought you told me. I tell you everything. But you don’t do me the same courtesy, apparently.” You take one more drag and put the cigarette out.

You grab the pack and your wine glass and go back inside, Luke’s hot on your heels. “You’re telling me you don’t talk to your ex’s and not tell me about it?” He asks.

“Luke my ex is dead! You’ve visited his grave with me. The only other ex I have is from when I was like 18, and no, I don’t talk to him. I don’t even know where to find him!” You're exasperated. “It’s fine if you are talking to her or helping her with her album. I just want to know about it! I don’t want to look like a fucking idiot, standing in front of your friends not knowing where the fuck you are or where the fuck you’ve been. That’s not fair to me.” You set the wine glass down, because you’re on the verge of throwing something. “Like, come the fuck on Luke! I couldn’t have been more all over you in Toronto, we both know shits been strained but we needed that and I thought we were heading back in the right direction when you left, but you can’t even do me the courtesy of telling me your working with your ex.” Tears spill over, you're hurt, embarrassed, angry. You quickly wipe your eyes, and then head to your bedroom and slam the door.

Luke’s fist hits it once, “babe. Come on.” He calls through the door.

“Fuck off Luke.” You cry.

When you come out, 4 hours later, Luke’s sitting at the bottom of the stairs, holding a beer. You sit next to him, “I’m sorry. I should have told you.” He says quietly.

“You should have.” You agree.

“I was so… upset about you working with Shawn. I felt like I needed to get back at you, but you’re right, you going to work with Shawn, is nothing like me going to work with Sierra. He makes advances at you and you ignore them. And honestly, I planned it before I came to see you. I figured you’d never find out. I didn’t count on you coming home early.” He explains. He’s calm and quiet, aware of what his words might do to you. “It hasn’t felt right between us lately, you know? And then you call and you need me, and more importantly you want me, you want me there. And you were hanging on so tight and i thought ‘we got this, were gonna make it.’ But, we’re unfair to each other, at best. And it’s been that way for awhile. I wish I knew why. I wish I could pinpoint when things shifted.” He looks you over.

“I know.” You nod, resting your hand on his thigh.

“I just don’t know what to do. I love you. I know you love me. Maybe we just need a break.” He shrugs.

You let out a humorless laugh. “I think the last thing we need is more time apart Luke. And what would that accomplish besides giving someone the idea that it’s ok to cheat?”

“No one said anything about cheating. But for the sake of being honest, Sierra did try a couple things. They didn’t work. I didn’t do anything with her. But it’s fair for you to be worried by it.” He sighs. “You’re right, we’re apart more than we’re together… and the guys and I leave on Tuesday for a writing trip.”

You gently grab his scruffy chin and make him look at you, you gently scratch because you know he loves the way that feels. “I know, that’s another reason I wanted to come home early. Spend some time with you.” You rest your forehead to his and press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Then what was the main reason?” He asks.

“I needed to get away from Shawn.” You let out a little laugh and it makes Luke grin. “But I just needed to be with you.”

Luke sets his beer down and pulls you into him, squeezing you tight in his arms. “I can’t believe Shawn was standing in front of you shirtless and you still chose me.” He jokes.

“If I was going for body, I woulda gone for Cal.” You smirk up at him. “But no, I just went for goofy, clunky Luke.” He rolls his eyes. “But you’re sweet, and you’re funny and you love with your entire being. So six feet of that is better than any perfectly in shape body, in my opinion.”

“You’re always too sweet to me.”

You shrug, “because I love you. I want to spend my time with you.”

“We’ll get through this?”

“I think so.” You nod. “Gotta be honest with me  though.”

“Always.” He agrees.

Waiting for Luke to get home after the guys writing trip was horrible, and of course he’d let you know that they wanted to go out for a few drinks after and he wanted you to come too.

So that little black dress with the lace inlays that Luke couldn’t resist was making an appearance.

He comes in and drops his bag and jumps in the shower, you take that chance to brush your teeth and finish your makeup while standing in your underwear.

Luke’s out of the shower quickly and comes up behind you, grabbing your tits over your bra. “Lace hmm? Maybe we should stay in tonight.” He says quietly, lips pressed against your skin.

“I’ve already done my hair and makeup, we’re going out.” You chuckle.

“Fine.” He grumps, gently biting your shoulder.

He heads into the closet to get dressed and you pull the dress on, joining him in the closet to get the Louboutins he’d gotten you for Christmas.

“Baby, are you kidding me?” He asks, looking you over once you’ve pulled them on.

“What, love?” You ask, feigning innocence.

“That dress and the red bottoms? You trying to kill me?” He’s doing up the buttons on the black shirt he put on.

You cross the space to him. “Just a reminder that there’s something else you could be doing. Maybe make it a short night.” You quirk your eyebrow, peck his lips and turn and walk away.

“Oh yeah baby, keep swinging those hips.” He calls, the frustration evident.

Ashton and Calum are already there, drinks in hand when you and Luke get there. Michael is nowhere to be seen, but you aren’t that surprised.

Cal greets you, one armed hug and a kiss on the cheek, “that dress and red bottoms? What’s he apologizing for?” He jokes.

“Nothing… yet. But if he doesn’t take me home and to bed soon, then he’ll be sorry.” You wink.

“I told him he’d want to be at home tonight, but he never listens.” He chuckles.

“Why should he?” You laugh.

Ash stops and hugs you and then Luke is handing you a drink. “Two drinks baby.” He promises.

But you’re still there after four. So you get up to get another drink and Luke happily offers you his lap when you return and one of their friends has sat in your seat. You sit on one of this thighs and your legs fall between his, so you can still talk with the group. He grips your hip.

“Babe. You promised two.” You whine in his ear, gently rubbing your hand over his cock..

He grips your hip a little tighter, “Play fair.” He whispers against your lips.

After he pulls away you mumble, “you have no idea how unfair i’m gonna make it.”

“What was that?” He asks, turning his attention back to you.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” You shrug.

“I’ll go with you.” He says, his hand rests on your ass as you head to the bathroom, he only pulls away when you have to split.

He’s resting against the wall when you come out, he holds his arms out, indicating he wants you against him, he pulls you in. “Can you hold something for me?” You ask.

“F’course.” He mumbles against your lips. You pull away slightly, he holds out his hand and you drop your panties in it. It only takes him a second to realize what it is, and you quickly peck his lips and push away. “What the fuck, babe? We’re leaving. I’m going to say my goodbyes.” He catches up and grabs at your waist. “You’re  naughty. I said play fair.”

“You also said two drinks.” You smirk. “Love you Luke.” You wink.

“You’re right. I’m closing the tab.” He nods. You all wish everyone a goodnight. Luke’s fingers keep playing at the the hem of the dress, and they are immediately between your thighs once you get in the Uber. “You missed me?” He asks, nibbling your ear.

“You know I did.” You grin, turning your head into his for a kiss. You push at his wrist, “this can wait till we get home.” You whisper, biting his lip.

“No baby, it can’t. We were in that club and you put your panties in my hand. That’s saying something.” He whispers back. He uses a lot of teeth in the next kiss, nipping your lip, pulling it and then moving along your jaw, and down your neck, sucking a hickey as he went. You bite your lip and let out a little moan and the driver clears his throat. “Sorry.” Luke mumbles, keeping his fingers on your clit as he pulls away and looks out the other window. You’re thankful that you are seated behind the driver, and it’s dark, so he has no idea what Luke is doing.

You cover your mouth with your hand. Luke looks over at your action and he smirks, but he keeps it up.

Luke’s fingers go straight into his mouth after he helps you out of the car. He pushes the front door closed behind you and then his lips are on yours. You’re pretty sure he pushes you against every wall between the front door and your bedroom, and just outside of the door, he pulls the dress up over your hips, hits the light switch, turning them on, and drops to his knees. “So pretty and wet.” He grins, he takes the first lick, “so sweet baby, so inviting.”

You look down at Luke, holding his curls between your fingers, his blue eyes so mesmerizing while he eats you out. You close your eyes and let your head fall back, “no baby, look at me.” He murmurs into your folds. He knows you're done for, he can have you however he wants you at this point.

“Please Luke.” You whimper.

“You wanna cum on my tongue or you wanna ride me?” He asks, gripping your thighs tight in his large hands, and pulling his face away.

“Don’t care, whatever you want.” You nod at him.

“Whatever i Want?” He asks, getting to his feet. “Want you all over my cock.” He nods back at you.

“Yes, please babe.” You whine.

Luke presses himself against you, grinding his hips against yours while kissing you hard. “Up.” He says, pressing your mouths together, letting you taste yourself. You jump a little and wrap your legs around his waist. He carries you a couple feet into the room and then clothes are coming off.

He’s got you in front of him in just your heals, and he’s stark naked, hard cock in his hand. He slowly strokes it. “I just wanna fuck the hell outta you in those red bottoms.” He groans. He didn’t care for them on a single other woman, you’d tried to see if it was the shoe or you. It was definitely just you in the shoe. Luke liked you in expensive things, it was a huge turn on for him. So your lingerie was expensive, and your jewelry… any wearable gifts he got you. “Take em off.” He decides. Once you step down out of them he lets go of his cock, it slaps up against his stomach with a small noise. Both his hands are on your waist as he spins you around so he’s backing up against the bed, he lays back on it and pulls you on top of him. “C’mon baby, fuck me.” He groans, you grab his cock and sink down on it.

“Oh… fuck.” You whimper. Luke’s hands rest at your waist while you adjust to him. Your hands stay on his chest while you work yourself up and down on his cock, building a rhythm.

“Oh that’s it pretty girl… make those tits bounce for  me.” He moans. And it causes you to whimper, you love Luke’s moans and you love his dirty talk even more. He keeps it up while you ride him hard.

The first time he’d ever talked dirty to you, you were out at a club together with some friends and he was in your ear all night about how good you looked and how he couldn’t wait to get you home and fuck you, have you naked on him and begging him to make you cum.

You were so worked up by the time he got you home, you could barely stand it. He pulled your panties down and you were dripping for hm. He loved it.

Luke pushes himself up and pulls you close, you’re working hard to make sure this lasts and feels amazing for both of you and he can see you’re tired. The dirty talk stops, his lips now press to every inch of skin they can reach while you work together. The urgentness is gone for both of you.

“C’mon my love.” He says quietly, with his lips to yours, “let me.” He gently lays you back, keeping you as close as humanly possible. It’s slow, his hips working against yours. The moans are so soft, and they get lost between kisses and the two of you quietly saying each other’s names. You bite his lip and dig your nails into his back as you cum around him. He gives his final few thrusts and then his cheek is pressed to your chest as you guys try to catch your breath. “I love you.” He whispers, lips ghosting over the side of your breast.

You thread your fingers in his hair and gently tug it so he’ll look at you, “love you Luke.” You whisper back.

“Shower?” He asks, hand coming up to rest on your shoulder.

“Yeah.” You nod.

He’s gentle, pulling out slowly, “c’mere.” He whispers, pulling you close and into the en suite.

Being wrapped up in Luke is the best feeling. He’s so tall and broad, and he loves having you close, so it’s easy to tuck yourself into him. Your legs are tangled together, face pressed to his chest. His arm is wrapped around your back, hand on your hip, and he’s using the fingers of his other hand to play with the ends of your hair. You wiggle yourself closer to him and he laughs. “Always wanna be closer.”

“I cannot be close enough to you.” You giggle.

“That’s ok, you’re never close enough.” He kisses the top of your head and you both drift to sleep.

You wake up with the urge to pee, not uncommon. So you work yourself out of Luke’s grip.

“Si, baby, stop. That tickles.” He groans, half awake.

You stop dead in your tracks. You don’t say anything but carefully slip off the bed. You grab a t shirt and leggings from the dresser in the closet and move on to the bathroom.

You don’t bother to get back in bed. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want to be with Luke if he thought he was with Sierra, and you couldn’t even fathom why he’d think that… unless something happened with her.

Taglist: @cocktail-calum @1dthewantedlove @september09241994 @youngblood199456 @lustingforwunder @calumsphile @neso-k @rosecoloredash @radmcqueen @justayoungandwisefangirl @itsnotmyblood @slimthicccal @softboycal @lietoash @pushthetide21 @5sosfanficrec @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @therealmrshale​

gc tags: @sublimehood​ @sugarcoated-pain​ @5sosnsfw​ @angelbabylu​ @aspiringwildfire​ @irwinkitten​ @lashtoncurls​ @myloverboyash​ @singt0mecalum​

masterlist || ashton || calum || luke || michael

wanna be tagged? go here

[riverrunfar]

"Im home my love."

Ay I don't normally do this stuff. Ya know. Writing. But it's literally 3:00 AM and I have nothing else to do so why not write some fanfiction! :D (Also some things might be spelled wrong but its late so leave me alone)

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human

Paring: Deviant Connor (rk800) x Detective Reader (fem)

Summary: Connor and Hank had left to investigate an Abounded house because of reports of suspicious activity going on near by. Which means you were left alone. When they don't back a couple hours later, your start to panic and wonder if there okay or not. This goes on for days. Untill your love of your life finally comes home but to what? Are you okay? (Read and find out :))

Warnings: Swearing. Idk maybe some other things so just look out.

(I wanted to write a angsty, fluffy little fanfiction, but the only thing is, is that im not that good at writing. I used to write fanfiction but I quit for a little bit but im back at it! I might be a little rusty but man cut me some slack! Anyway I hope you like!)

You were pasting around your living room waiting for Connor to come home. He didn't live with you, you just liked him stay over night a lot. But since he stays over at your place all the time, he pretty much lives with you.

You were worried sick! Your anxiety was kicking in and you were shaking, wondering where Connor was and if him and Hank were safe. Fowler didn't let you go with them on there investigation because you needed to finish up some paper work.

After arguing with Fowler for a little bit, you finally agreed to stay back at the station. Hank made fun of you for acting like a little kid that couldn't get their candy. You pouted and then chuckled slightly, punching him softly in the arm. You both laughed, then hugged. After you looked at Connor and gave him a hopeful smile.

He had become a deviant about 6 months ago, and you two had started dating about a month afterwards. You walked up to him and gave him a hug. He hugged you back with a little squeeze, which made you giggle. He backed up to look at you and gave you a little kiss on the nose. This also made you giggle. "We'll be back soon. We just need to check out this abounded place to see if there's any illegal drug selling there." Hank said after you and Conner released each other. You nodded and looked at the both of them, " Okay, you idiots better be safe and come back to me quickly! Tonight's movie night and I don't wanna miss it, you hear?" you said as you pointed at both of them. They both chuckled and nodded. You smiled, then waved goodbye as they walked out the door.

That was 8 days ago. You've barley gotten any sleep.

You showed up at DPD the next day after they left but no one had heard from Conner and Hank since. This made you start to panic. You hurried up and finished your paper work, then went straight to Fowlers office to ask him what the hell was going on!

You threw open the door and walked up to his desk and slammed your hands down on his desk. More forcefully then you were intending to do. "Where the hell are Connor and Hank??" You said loudly. Fowler looked up at you with an annoyed look. "I don't know. I haven't heard from them since yesterday." he said with a stern tone. "Why-" he cut you off, "Im sure there fine! Hank is the best detective I know and Connor is just as good and twice as skilled with a gun. I wouldn't worry about them." He said as he looked back down at his papers.

"But they were sent out to investigate an abandoned place! It shouldn't take them over night to do that! What if something happened to them? What if they got ambushed and at being held hostage?! What if they got kill-" He cut you off again. "Okay okay calm down! Jesus christ. If you're that stressed about it, then I can send some back up out there to see if there okay, okay?" He said with an annoyed tone. You relaxed slightly and then nodded.

You took your hands off his desk and stood up straight. He nodded and rubbed his brows. Then he picked up his phone and made a call to one of the sheriffs to send reinforcements to Hank and Connors location. This slightly but you at ease, but you were still stressed about the hole matter.

He sighed again and put the phone down. "Alright. Now that that's done, get the hell outta my office and get back to work. You slowly nodded and walked out with a stressed look on your face. You weren't able to sleep that before because you were all worried.

You still haven't heard anything since then. The only thing you heard was that there was a shooting somewhere and 8 people were wounded. This didn't help put you at ease at all. You had bags under your eyes and you walked around your house. You had stoped at Hanks early that day to go feed Sumo and take him out for a walk. Since you had a spar key and all.

Now you had nothing to do to keep you occupied while Hank and Connor were gone. You had the next 3 days off so you could relax, but, relaxing was the last thing you could do.

You couldn't sleep because everytime you closed your eyes, you could just picture Connor and Hank getting shot. Which didn't help you at all. So you were feeding off of coffee and energy drinks for the past 8 nights. You knew it wasn't healthy but what choice did you have.

You sighed shakily and sat down. You put your head in your hands and began to cry quietly. If this were any other situation, you would be mentally smacking yourself to keep yourself together, but you just couldn't help it.

It was morning and all you could do was just stair at the ceiling as you sat on your couch. Your forehead hurt from having your brows furrowed all night and you had a major headache from thinking to much about what happened to your partners.

The day had passed fairly quickly and it was already 2:00 AM. You were tired shitless and just wanted to sleep and cuddle with Connor. Your eyes wanted to close so bad and just drift to dream land but you wouldn't let them. You turned on your TV to keep yourself awake.

A few ours had passed and it was already 5:00 AM. You felt like throwing up because you were making yourself so stressed. Or maybe it was all those energy drinks you drank. Either way you still wanted to throw up. And so you did. You ran to the bathroom and puked your guts out. After about 15 minutes of throwing up, you finally finished and felt more sick then ever. All you wanted to do was sleep but you wouldn't let yourself do it. You slowly walked back to the living room, only to see your favorite android standing there.

You froze.

"No way." you thought to yourself.

You felt like you wanted to throw up again.

------

Connor and Hank had finally rapped up there investigation with little wounds. Some bruised and scratches here and there but there were fine. Connor got shot in the arm once to shield Hank from a bullet. But other then that they were both fine.

It had been 8 days since they left to investigate the abandon house. Luckily reinforcements got there and helped them out. There was a lot more people there then Hank and Connor expected.

They had to stay over night at a hotel to talk to the officers about a plan they could use to catch the remaining criminals. Meanwhile Connor got fixed and his arm was good as new.

They were on there way home when Connor realized something. They haven't made contact with you since they left. Connors LED went yellow as he looked over to Hank. "What is it?" Hank asked. "How do you thing Y/N reacted to us being gone for 8 days?" Connor asked worriedly. Hank glanced at him with a slightly shocked expression. "Shit, I haven't thought about it. We've been so busy i completely forgot about her. She must be worried out of her god damn head!" Hank said with a concerned look plastered on his face.

Connor nodded and looked down at his hands. He mentally slapped himself for not calling or texting you that they were fine and that they needed to stay longer then intended to. Damn he knew that you must be stressed as hell. "Can you just drop me off over at Y/N's house?" Connor asked with a sort of pleading tone. Hank looked over and him, then nodded. "Make sure she's okay. Knowing her she probably hasn't been looking after herself while we were gone." Hank said as he looked back at the road. Connor nodded and looked back out the window. "I hope she's okay..." Connor said softly.

After about an hour drive, Hank dropped off Connor at your place. His LED went to yellow as he saw all the lights were on. He quickly walked up the stairs to your front door and opened it with is spar key. He swung open the door and looked around. He couldn't see you but the first thing he was was energy drinks. And lots of them came with coffee cups and a couple of plates.

Then he heard what sounded like throwing up. His LED when red, but then went back to yellow when he heard the toilet flush. Then he saw you. Walking down the hall back to the living room. You were a little wobbly, but you were okay!

At least that's what he thought at first.

When he got a closer look at you he froze for a second.

You had dark bags around your eyes, you looked paler then you did before, and it looked like you lost at least 15 pounds.

If he had a real heart he knew it would have stoped when you looked up at him.

You stoped in your tracks and just looked at him.

He was fine. Not a single scratch was on him. You were so shocked you didn't know what to do or how to react. You looked at Connors face to see a worried look plastered on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was slightly open.

Suddenly the room when dark and the last thing you heard was Connor yelling your name.

-------

You woke up the next day in your bed. You have no idea how you got there. But you had a raging headache that made you grown with pain. You slowly sat up with your eyes still closed, knowing that it would be to damn bright if you opened them. You scratched your head and slowly opened your eyes. You looked over at your clock to fine that it was 3:30 PM. Then you looked down at yourself to see that you were in different, comfier clothes.

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked around. You didn't see anybody. So who could have...

Wait.

You remembered last night!

Connor!

You quickly got out of be only to get light headed but you didn't care you swung open your door to be hit in the face by the smell of food! Or more like breakfast. You quickly run to the kitchen, to see no one there. Your were confused. Where was Conn-

"Y/N?"

You quickly turn around to see your android boyfriend. A huge smile came to your face as you ran to him and tackled him into a hug. He hugged you back tightly, not wanting to ever let you got. Eventually you had to let go though.

You looked at him with the biggest smile you could muster. "You're home!" you said with a raspy voice, which kinda broke Connors heart know that it was because of all the crying and throwing up you did.

You put your hand on his cheek and rubbed it softly with your thumb. Connor leaned into your touch and smiled while he looked at you with a sad look on his face. He kissed your hand, then hugged you again.

"Im sorry it took so long. I-" You cut him off. "That doesn't matter right now! All that matters is that your home safe and in my arms." you with your raspy voice as your voice cracked. He nodded then sighed, holding you tightly as he buried his face in your neck. He missed you.

After a minute or so of hugging, you released him and just looked at him, and he looked at you. Slowly, he leaned in and kissed you. There was so much passion and love in it that you thought your legs were gonna give out on you. Luckily he was there to hold you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your fingers though his hair, as he did yours.

Slowly, the two of you pulled apart for air as you needed air. You panted softly as your noses touched. You smiled at him and he smiled back at you. Tears of joy slowly made there way to your face as you kissed him all over his face. He let out a little giggle as you kissed him when you stoped, he wiped your tears away, then kissed you head. Then hugged you again and whispered in your ear,

"Im home my love."

End

AAHHH ITS DONE! And now its 5:30 AM so thats cool. I hope it was good and i hope you guys liked it. Being my first fanfiction an all. Maybe I'll do some requests but idk we'll see. Anyway thanks for reading! :D

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #2 - “Shit ain’t over till the fat lady sings and I didn’t warm my pipes.” (Cameron)

Day 4: Well. I survived my first tribal council of the season, and even though it went exactly according to plan, while I slept my entire day away, I'm still really hesitant to tell myself that I'm doing well on my tribe. I'm really nervous that my tribe mates are playing me, and that I'm really boo boo tha fool here. I called Megan post-tribal, and I was finally able to get some closure on something that happened between us in our personal lives, which felt really good. After that, she asked me about the idol, to which I had responded "Wait, Julian didn't tell you?", which hopefully sows some seeds of doubt in Megan about Julian. Ideally, if the Enlil tribe has to go back to tribal council, the four of us can bear witness to a Megan vs. Julian war. Because unfortunately, the connections I have outside Enlil, are shared with either Julian or Megan. If Megan and Julian are going after each other pre-merge, or during a swap scenario, I don't have to share those connections anymore. After that, Megan and I just talked about the nudes we received during quarantine ~ I then promptly ran to Will to tell him about the potential crack I just formed between Julian and Megan, which was met with genuine excitement. I think I'm really gaining Will's trust, and I think we vibe so well together. Love that guy! Overall, it wasn't a very productive day because I woke up at 4:30p PST. Love that for me, thanks for shading me @ Tribal Bodhi.

going into this scavenger hunt as the tribe that went to tribal last is worrysome. It's a challenge that's fully dependent on our activity, so we are at a serious disadvantage against the other two tribes that get to choose someone less active to sit out. We don't have that luxury. The point/life system eases the blow, however, since we can get less active players 1 life while more active players can get 3. In case we lose, I'm trying to connect with everyone on the tribe. I really don't want to vote anyone out though. I have an alliance with Julian and JJ, and one with Will on the side. Chrissa wants to work with Julian, JJ and myself, and I think Megan and JJ have something on the side. I'm nervous for who would be the target in the vote, and any vote would hurt all of our games collectively. Hopefully we win because the next vote will not be easy AT ALL.

Done w typing this sheet

jj and zachary are so fucking annoying to this challenge and if i vote for you first at the swap, its probably because youre typing too much during this challenge sorry not sorry xoxo - sincerely johnny a month from now

let me be clear with andrew I was not calling his hosting unfair i was calling the fact that a majority green item giving him a point unfair not the hosting but lack of yellow, also i have a headache i don't feel that good. and I just don't think zach should have had a point for it nothing against hosting obviously i watch a movie trivia thing where literally they have a challenge to challenge any questions that are unfair, that doesn't mean they are calling the question writers or the answer writers unfair. 

Zach just won the tribal challenge for us which is fantastic. We can maintain the illusion of a unified tribe longer, which keeps us together in a swap situation, and Zach has clearly painted a challenge target on himself over the last two challenges which will make him go before me if our Triforce ever becomes the minority. I'm really happy with my position in the game right now

me and monty trying to find the idol and decode this annoying ass video https://imgur.com/a/lu7sbMu

Forgive me father for I have sinned it's been approximately three days since my last confession so far can't complain really we be winning they hating we be riding pretty damn clean I've got a majoritu alliance I didn't start so odds of it falling around me and being the first voted out slim to none thank the sweet baby jesis and all that good shit. Oh well that's all for now

JULIAN’S HOST CHAT GUEST, ZEE:

I am filling in a confessional because you told me to. I am in front of my fan because it's hot. I'm thinking that it seems pretty stupid to ask me for a confessional. Julian's prod chat isn't very interesting because he's distracted.

also just threw out madison's name to johnny. if this shit backfires on me ill be ):

https://youtu.be/Pqck1gayfJU

https://youtu.be/FMay7NycsPw

yo yo yo homies!!! fuck the scavenger hunt and the mobile Skype app !! Lowkey scared but I think I’m close with everyone on the tribe except madi soooooooooo that’s probably who will go tonight. I’ve connected a lot with Monty and am hoping we can work together closely moving forward 💕not sure how useful my relationship with Zach is going to be come swap/merge bc it seems like he’s ALREADY making himself a target like the big doof he is. More later 💋

https://youtu.be/Qg47yupj1bQ

https://youtu.be/vUK8A1qWVoA

Hello tumblr survivor world! Sorry I didnt confess for episode 1, I was going to but i accidentally exited out of the page when i almost finished writing it. Anyways, it was just a cast assessment for my tribe so tl;dr everyone on my tribe is great and its really sad that we have to vote someone out now. So this whole weekend I was away so I was REALLY worried that I would be voted out since I sat out of the challenge. But after talking to Johnny and Isabelle, it seems like Madison will be voted out tonight. Which is so bad bc this her first game in a year, but hey it's our first vote and it's not me so it's not really the time to make a stand. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Okay I took a break from writing this confessional and there's moreeeeeeeee so part 2 I guess. So I had a call with Johnny and we came up with an alliance of me, him, Isabelle, and Benji. What an iconic alliance, right? But also while Johnny and I talked we got onto the topic of idols and why it is that there hasn't been an idol post yet. I brought up that wayyyyyy back when in Malaysia and some other games around that time, some of the idol hunts were less clear cut. We ended up looking at the blog and clicking the "idol system" tab and it brought us to some weird crab video with audio that sounds like a pokemon cry? Idk part of me thinks its just a joke but I also have to consider that it might be SOMETHING. It said remember to like and subscribe so I sent a screenshot of me liking and subscribing to see if that would do anything but nope. Johnny said he'd do some thinking about it and get back to me later if he figures something out. Also tribal seems super clear cut so I'm a bit less worried now but y'know how it is I can't not worry about tribal.

i just spent $8 on a spectogram and STILL cant find this fucking idol im gonna kms... monty im sorry im steam rolling ahead looking for this thing without telling you, but thank you for the first clue xoxo... if i get stumped in the future ill reach out for SURE (but idt you trust me that much so this seems kinda valid to me) ((FOUR HOURS LATER: i told monty lololol)) ALSO FOR FUCKS SAKE I think madison is gonna go, and truthfully, im fine with it because it's the easiest thing to do due to her poor performance in the past few challenges and just being the least AROUND the tribe, but i know that it'd probably be better for me long term to get rid of abby because i just dont see her as a long term ally for me. i think she's close to JJ and Megan on the other tribe, and she's becoming much more acclimated to the tumblr survivor community that i just BET that she maybe has an additional connection on the rookie tribe. If I can attempt to break that up before we get to a swap, I think that's what im going to have to do figure out if we lose another challenge before a swap... i dont really want to see ANYBODY else go besides abby if im thinking about a second boot. i bet it wont be easy to take her out tho also, if madison goes, this is like...... lowkey vindication for game changers???? last night i talked about this with monty and i was like hmmmm "is it ugly to bring up past game history?" and his response was "not if it's within the same series" .... so. vindication

---

omg i just told madison how to find the idol system thing i hope she doesnt tell anyone i told her about it LMAO........ this almost seems too easy.i got added to two alliances today. why do i not feel safe? is it me going? WTF IS GOING ON

excited to be first boot because no one will TALK TO ME! 

Things haven’t changed much since my last confessional! As far as I know the tribe hasn’t started into alliances and we’re all riding some excitement at having so far avoided tribal. I think the rest of the tribe and I are all feeling good and just focusing on making the tribe switch without losing any members.

from round 2 https://youtu.be/fk002uG2HoI

Hi sorry I forgot to do a confessional this round so this will be short imma just say a few things 1. I don’t trust julian one bit he can stop being shady to me 2. I can’t believe we aren’t going to tribal I’m so fkn happy i was able to pull out the win for our tribe because I didn’t want to lose anybody else 3. I love and adore will with all of my being and he’s my number 1 ally right now 4. I find it highly doubtful that there’s only one idol in this game and that you can’t find it until merge but that’s as far as I can get in the idol search for now so I guess there’s nothing I can do about it 5. I’m still having fun can’t wait to fuck up another flash game yay!!!

My Purple edit is amazing right now. But having played more games than most of these newbies, I have decided to take on the role of teacher and becoming more of a "role model" for these newbies. I feel like I have the closest bond with Zach, and I need to get a little closer with Collin. I have Grace from past games, and then there are the others who I do not really have any strong bonds with at the moment. I guess I need to start going to them more and show that I want to work with them.

https://youtu.be/yhwXzqrTcsA Confessional 2 for round 2

https://youtu.be/TVnpwqc8XLY

Madison voted out 6-1

[st0ned-butch-blues]

resolution updates

It’s important to check-in w myself so I don’t fall through with these 2018 resolutions...

1. Be healthier physically and mentally

idk how but I fucked up my sleeping schedule even more and am basically nocturnal now??

doing rlly well with avoiding the vending machine

the whole self-love thing is def not getting any better but tbh I didn’t expect it to (it’s gotten a lot worse recently)

yo girl won’t be having sex any time soon and is too drained w life to try masturbating, rlly gonna have to push this one off until I’m in a better place mentally (and prob when I’m out of Colby)

still not journaling ahhh (but I rlly am trying to make more personal posts on this blog) I get too frustrated w writing because it’s not fast enough to catch up to my brain, so I may have to start journaling digitally or some shit

found a friend that volunteers at the humane society, will hopefully start volunteering w her next semester. maybe ask ana and jean to join me

I cleaned my room for the first time this year and that was super nice and cleansing and ahhh

decided to add a resolution to drink more water cause I usually drink water once a day and... that’s not good. Downloaded the Plant Nanny app to keep me on track

try to stop drinking alcohol as ur prime social activity -> maybe try weed? don’t wanna fuck up my health lmao

2. Improve your social life

am planning a lot more social programming for clubs, which I think is a good club goal to have. we need to build community first before trying to accomplish anything else.

social anxiety has gotten worse and I need to learn how to socialize but also take it easy and stay in during rlly bad mental health days instead of forcing myself to go out and feeling even shittier

have continued to not make friends and be a passive friend to the friends I do have. fuck.

I consider myself a rlly good friend to turn to when you have problems (and my friends have been having A LOT lately), but you can't base an entire relationship off of negativity... Plan to do things w ur friends that are FUN and not just talking about problems/complaining

I'm continuing not to fuck w cishet boys as much as possible. But tbh it can be rlly hard when everyone around you still gives a fuck about them and ur rlly just trying to quit ur unhealthy thoughts associated with them

still pining after a relationship tbh. or maybe just the validation of being unconditionally loved by someone or maybe I just miss cuddling. but it’s p much confirmed that ill never get in a relationship during my time here. or get any queer sexual experiences. or sexual experiences in general. so focus on just surrounding urself w a queer community because that is the epitome of fun and love and acceptance and ahhhhh

3. Get your academic shit together. Plan for your future career/life.

most of my resolutions for this section will have to wait till next semester, so we’ll see...

have learned that taking a shower is rlly good for combating unproductivity? It’s a very relaxing, cleansing thing for me and I should start doing it earlier before I want to get shit done rather than right before I go to sleep

got into WOCA board, will start doing this food/gardening youth education volunteering thing, got a social media-y internship (still debating if I want to drop Oak Committee and whether or not to apply for CA/COOT leader)

jan plan hasn’t been strenuous academically at all. but im worried moving into second semester how I’ll handle balancing all the shit in my life on top of my unstable mental health

still have only read one book this year. get on that.

have def been watching more content, but usually in an unhealthy binge-watching, sleep depriving way. at least I have netflix now eyyy

some media I’ve rlly enjoyed recently are: Wasted! (one of the best food documentaries I’ve ever seen. rlly well done), Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (amazing stand-up comedy by a first-gen indian-american), RuPaul’s Drag Race (has been slowly helping me make queer friends on top of just being some quality entertainment), The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo (just finished binge-watching this web-series and wow this is the queer life I wish I was living)

cleaning up my personal blog is a sloooow ass process but have worked on it a liiittle

have been having problems w food again, this is a good reminder to lay off the red meat. ill rlly be able to accomplish my food resolutions when I'm in co-op next year. esp when I can go to farmer's markets and sustainably source seafood ahhh

should rlly start budgeting, logging my purchases, calculating reimbursements (for clubs and parents), and get a consistent job

haven’t done too much work w korean shit. BUT I stayed up until 8 AM listening to all of Jonghyun’s solo albums and holy shit he has some jams but like also some rlly fucking beautiful songs and his voice is so relaxing and wow I’m so fucking sad he’s gone. Even though I got into him rlly late, he was coincidently the one korean artist that kept showing up in my life randomly on social media and through friends. idk I just realized how calming korean music is for me, like I put Jonghyun’s "Before Our Spring" on repeat when I had my mental breakdown last night

applied to a summer program!!!!!! Rlly rlly rlly hope I get this one (partially so I can see heejin again tbh)

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 3 - “hopefully failure does not turn into fracture” - John

Dylan C

oh nvm, it was Jack lol

Timmy

I was half a second from muting Ellie on my own during the tribal. Also JACK LEFT 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

John

first vote, check. first blindside, check. feels good knowing i helped spearhead the vote flip from stephen onto jack, but if jack comes back he might be out for blood. luckily enough for us worms, the vote morphed into a 7/1 landslide, so he might come after maynor or stephen or keith before me and my peeps. but only time will tell.

Timmy

ELLIE DRINK WATER CHALLENGE, DO THAT CHALLENGE

Keith John

Last night was a tough vote. Jack made people paranoid. Even though i wanted him to stay. No one in my alliance felt easy with him. Even though i wanted jack around as he was good in chllenge and wanted to work with me. But it is what it is. 

Raffy

I finally managed to get into an alliance with Ellie and Timmy. Though it is not the biggest, I feel confident that these two will serve me well, at least in the premerge. It's called the Just Go For It Alliance, courtesy of Timmy. And we almost got caught forming it because of Cormac which is iconic. Speaking of him, I don't really know what to make of him. He's very... weird. Like it's hard talking to him, but I feel the same way about Keith so whatever. Plus, I don't really trust Cormac considering he basically made a day 1 alliance with two people on my tribe and Sierra. I need to keep an attentive eye on him.

Ellie

I am so immensely thankful for the tribe call last night. It was filled with things I needed to hear, of course we joked around with the fact that I can’t turn on a stove but I was also so thankful for the amazing people in the call making sure that I take care of myself which I haven’t been doing lately. Life has been really hard on me and it feels like a never get a break, sometimes I neglect taking care of myself because I feel that I physically and mentally can’t. I function on caffeine and I get 2-5 hours of sleep on a good night. Last night was kind of a wake up call because I learned that I am putting myself in danger by neglecting myself and my needs. It was really hard for me to accept that but I feel like I have bonded with these people BEYOND the game, they feel like my family now. Life sucks and I get really unmotivated sometimes and can’t bring myself to get out of bed or even eat, but I’ve gotten a lot better and I hope to continue getting better and the people in that call have already played a huge part in that by motivating me to care about my wellbeing and take care of myself, I will always be thankful for that. 

Raffy

I feel like I am bonding well with people? It's hard to get a read on some of them, but I think it's fine for now. Other than that, John came up to me asking for a game bond that I thought we already have. Either way, that seems to be my way into an alliance with him. Hopefully we can grow our numbers and build a trustworthy yet powerful group. We're suspecting a swap pretty soon so I hope that I've bonded with the right people in order to be successful.

Dylan C

I haven’t been socializing enough lately with anyone, and wasn’t going to today but then today was Yikes so. I did miss the tribe call for the challenge because I was on the phone with my friend. Maybe I could’ve made it but eh. Hopefully that one point isn’t going to make or break us. And if it did, well I’ve also done a lot for this challenge already soooo

Ellie

I’m going to be picking flour out of my eyebrows for days

Raffy

I hope we win the challenge. I'm kind of scared that so many things were left blank, but this has got to be enough

Dylan C

BITCH

several of us on this tribe were just on a call saying we didn't wanna vote anyone out smh

I keep agreeing when people say they can't come up with a name for tribal but I do actually have one in mind. I'd say Justin since he seems to be around somewhat less, but it's still not great. I mean, I'd rather not vote anyone

So I've talked with Raffy and Joseph and they agree w/Justin. Haven't specifically mentioned names with anyone else. Ellie says she's just going to listen, and not throw out any names. Also didn't ask my thoughts lol. I'll expand on this more when I record my next video confessional

Timmy

Ughhh we lost, I say we but like I did nothing for the challenge so I was a big contributor to the loss. But now people want justin out and like Justin wants to work with me so I’m not here for that. Honestly I have an alliance that will half the tribe after tomorrow so i would like to have a majority group with him, but I’m still in a good spot without him here. I would rather get Joseph or Dylan R out this round though.

John

okay so apparently cormac wants sierra out after stephen now which is news to me. i just agreed and nodded and was like “okay cool” bc i don’t want to draw negative attention towards myself by acting like i’m trying to protect them, but like i don’t think blindsiding them would be the best move? this game is going to get crazy quick. plus if he’s thinking of taking them out, what if all of a sudden they wanna flip on me? in engineering terms, cracks are propagating on the surface of the material, and it’s not long until failure occurs. hopefully failure does not turn into fracture.

Timmy

Joseph and I haven’t spoken in a few days yet he messages just saying “so, tribal” in bold and I’m like wtf like I’m not gonna talk to you about tribal yet, I need to see if I can trust you first.

Dylan C

What is the big risk I'm taking for the idol and risking my vote at tribal? A fucking puzzle with a shit ton of blue sky and snow, and the piece are weird and r o t a t e. I'm not getting this shit done by 11pm tomorrow! Not when I'm in classes all day, and then have DnD not long after. And I made an account to save my progress, putting my name in it so if I do finish and end up on the leaderboard for someone else to see. You know what I've got tonight? BDE. That's right: big dummy energy. At least the vote seems almost unanimous at this point, so that could easily change, but if it goes like it seems like it will then my vote won't matter too much.

Dylan C

41 minutes and 40 second in, 32%, brain is fried JustinAlright so I am a bit nervous for this tribal considering I have not been too active for this round, but I am still confident I can move the target onto someone else. I was thinking I can possibly get people to vote out Dylan R considering he has been more inactive than I have. Although, the other tribe blindsiding Jack makes me weary because it might have caused people on my tribe to make a move against a more active player. So, I need to be on my toes to make sure that is not me. Also, remember how I said I want to work with Timmy? Well I messaged that bitch asking if he wants to work with me officially, but he hasn't answered even though he has been online since I have sent the message. So, honestly I might try to target him considering he has not been super active either.

Keith John

I have been a bit busy these past few days, havnt spoken to everyone much. Good thing we won immunity. So scrambling is at its minimum. i got a feeling a swap is coming up. Makes me nervous. I dont have many connections on the other side.

Except Justin, spoke to him a few times. Raffy and Ellie I spoke to but they feel like people who talk to everyone. so I dont know if they have my back. Whilst Timmy even didnt reply to my hi. As guess he is clear about not working with me

Stephen

Hi. My name is Mr Immune, which I almost misspelt as Mt Immune, wouldn’t that be entertaining? Anyway the tribes feeling good, John and Sierra are cool, Zoes nice, Maynors nice but oddly distant. Everythings middle of the road atm, nothing great but nothing sucky. I’ll probably try and cruise for a bit on social connections until swap or something equally spicy pops up.

Maynor

I have continued doing the puzzles and I have 3 of them left. Hopefully the idol isnt found yet. We’ll see. Im so happy we were able to win immunity cuz i was slowly freaking out that Jack said my name. Atleast i just screamed inside my head and didnt become as paranois as Jack. He literally made himself the target. Everyone agreed on Stephen then his paranoia happened and it switched onto him.

P.S. ❤️ Jay

Sierra

After Jack got voted out, I was worried that we were going to lose the next challenge. I was so relieved when we actually pulled through and won! We all really worked so hard to win that one... and even though I’m in an alliance, I’d rather not have to test things again just yet.

Raffy

God I hate tribal. It’s ugly. Though I instantly have a name in mind: Justin. He’s the person I trust the least and have talked to the least. I talked to Ellie and Dylan C about it. They seemed to be on board with the whole thing. We just need one more vote which should be easy to get. After all, I am in an alliance with Timmy, so it should be easy for me to get four votes. I’m just hoping that he doesn’t have an idol.

Last night, I was talking to Dylan a little bit. Apparently, they are are scared that they haven’t been added to any alliances and they feel like alliances are being made. So I suggested making an alliance with them and I. They’re in a vulnerable position which is great for me since it means they’ll be more willing to work with me. After tribal, I’m hoping that we can create an alliance together with some other people. I’m excited!!!

Ellie

So it’s between Justin and Dylan R and I have the deciding vote?? More drama coming soon

Justin

Ok these bitches are making me mad. I approached Ellie and Dylan C for alliances. Luckily, they both said yes to individual alliances, but as soon as I brought up the idea for all of us to join together plus Raffy they go mute. That is definitely concerning, but I brought up Dylan R’s name to all three as a target this vote and I can only hope they stick to their word to vote them out. I also made an official alliance with Keith, and he spilled the beans that he has been talking to Raffy a bit which makes me nervous. However, I have changed my stance on Raffy because he actually talks to me quite a lot. But, I am aware he is definitely playing this game hard and is talking to almost everyone. That is why I want to keep him close for the time being and then perhaps blindside him in a swap or early merge. Back to Keith tho, he is ITCHING to make a move. He told me it is his first time playing an ORG and he definitely wants to blindside people which as long as it ain’t me I’m good.

Joseph Collins

Me and Elle have been working so good together. I hope she doesn’t stab me in the back lol. The tribe consensus was Justin but I flipped them all to Dylan r. Blindsideeeeee coming. Hahahahaha. *evil laugh* *winky face

Joseph Collins

Lemme break down how I flipped the vote. I just told Dylan c that “look. I respect you. And I’d want someone to do this for me. The tide’s changing and I think the vote is gonna be Dylan R tonight. I don’t want you to be left out of a vote because I wanted to work with you so I feel like you should know” that establishes trust and kinda gets Dylan to switch her vote

John

i’m ready to make a legitimate move in this game. but it’s all about timing. our best move, if we lose again, is sending stephen outta here. WITH THAT BEING SAID, it’s on after that. bring on the bloodbath. not everything will be happy go lucky for long.

Joseph Collins

I orchestrated this blindside and took no credit in my voting message. Like a true mastermind. *maniacal laugh*

Justin

Biiiiiiiitch. I just found out bitches have been conspiring against me cuz of the time zone difference. So, I was right for being paranoid omg. The person who initially told me was Joseph of all people which was shocking since I probably talk to him the least besides Dylan R. But, I’m glad he did and then Timmy further confirmed it which I’m like hello again Timmy it’s been a bit bud. From what they have told me is that the majority is still on Dylan R. and I talked to Dylan C. about the vote and I straight up talked about the time zone difference not being an issue. They said they have a friend in Scotland so it doesn’t bother them so if at least those three and myself vote Dylan R. then I should be good.

Raffy

The tribe has switched their mentality and have decided to go with Dylan R. with this vote which I am fine with considering he does not talk to me at all either. Plus, Justin came up to me asking if we could align together in this game which is always a good sign. So, I was more inclined to keep him throughout the day. Either way, I think I should be safe at this tribal council.

Zoe

I’m a wild bitch.

For the scavenger hunt challenge, I definitely got a tattoo (of the water tribe symbol from avatar, don’t @ me) for a whopping 20 points, and we definitely won the challenge. While riding on that high I accidentally talked about the idol hunt and got a strike from the god-host, which made me feel like the ultimate failure. Other than that, I have several strong alliances which I am confident in going into the swap.

Dylan C

https://youtu.be/gpUevTrixLo

https://youtu.be/_Qpn_dE6fxs

Not feeling like typing this up in detail but the vote has now changed to Dylan R and I’m down with/that. I talked to some people about it and they agree. Joseph messaged me and was like “I feel I have to tell you since you said you wanted to vote Justin.” I was like “that’s sweet but I already knew.” And kinda tried to play it off after that like I’m a little worse at socializing than I actually am but idk how well that worked. I really should’ve made this confession 5 hours ago but oh well. (Those videos were filmed almost 12 hours ago). 

Dylan C

I actually finished the fucking puzzle and I can’t believe it. Also if I hadn’t, it would’ve counted against me next tribal, not tonight’s. Either way, I’m not losing that vote via that puzzle babey. 

[meepface]

i’m kind of having a panic attack about school starting tomorrow so i am just trying to distract myself feel free to ignore me

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? 

closed 

(2) Do You Have Freckles? 

i used to have a lot as a kid but they kinda went away but you can still sorta see them. when i’m out in the sun a lot though they come out and it makes me so happy i wish they would stay like that

(3) Can You Whistle? 

not very well

(4) Last Song You Listened To. 

Most Girls by Hailee Steinfeld, honestly this song is such a bop n it makes me !!!!!!!

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour? 

cerulean blue and yellow

(6) Relationship Status. 

taken !!

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? 

78F !! it’s nice n cool, thanks Harvey

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? 

probably

(9) How Many Followers? 

3,933

(10) Zodiac Sign. 

aries

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? 

green

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? 

no

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? 

no but i dance sometimes lol

(14) What Books Are You Reading? 

furiously happy by jenny lawson lmao i keep forgetting im reading it though so i haven’t gotten very far

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14. 

“Sometimes she wondered if the shape of his eyes effected how he saw things” - this sounds bad out of context

(16) Favourite Anime?

rwby

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? 

caitlin

(18) Do You Collect Anything? 

hats, i used to collect stuffed animals, bouncy balls and littlest petshops when i was a kid though lmao

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? 

chicken bites from whataburger

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? 

definitely

(21) Favourite Animal?

i like grizzly bears and bunnies

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? 

yes my family and i get into them usually

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? 

lately like 1:30 AM but hopefully earlier tonight since i have school in the morning lmao kms

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? 

yeah i need to take this shit off i am ready for beddd

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? 

pool

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? 

slimetony

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? 

bottled

(28) What Makes You Happy? 

i’ve been really into watching slam poetry videos lately

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now. 

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? 

depends on my mood but usually without or if it’s chill songs that i’ve heard one million times before so i can just tune em out

(31) Dogs Or Cats? 

dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? 

a bright obnoxious yellow

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox. 

xbox

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? 

yeah i’d swim in both, i enjoy lakes a lil more than the ocean though

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? 

no

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing? 

a light gray sweater

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? 

no but i can make it do that clover thing

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? 

save unless i’m really sad and have free time bc in that case i buy myself $70 of new clothes to make myself temporarily feel better

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? 

a coloring book w a pink cover

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? 

wouldn’t say obsession but i’ve been really into blackbear’s music, the my favorite murder podcast, videos of people exploring abandoned places and hi-chew candies lately

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? 

yes i caught a monarch one time when i was little and i accidentally touched its wing and my mom told me if i touch their wings they could die and i cried about it

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? 

yeah lol i try not to be but i definitely have no idea how to be my own person at all whatsoever. no clue who i am

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? 

i had one where i was shot in the back of my workplace and died kinda recently and it really freaked me out bc i’ve never had a dream that i died in so i’ve been doin a lot of research about the meaning of dreams lately lmao

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? 

i enjoy airports and being on planes but not after the initial excitement is over and then you have to wait for like 5 hours 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. 

i cried like a baby when i watched hachiko

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? 

sunflower seeds for sure

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? 

blackbear

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? 

nah i don’t think i’m that picky, i will try just about everything

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? 

i want to say no but i have slept through a fire alarm before so idk. it takes me forever to fall asleep though it’s the worst

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? 

not at all

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? 

i love writing even though i don’t think i’m all that good and i used to love to read but now i just have depression

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? 

yes unless i’m feelin overwhelmed then i like a nice soft playlist of chill music. i’m listening to the lumineers’ cleopatra album real softly right now and it’s so nice

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? 

i’m bad at both but probably carve a pumpkin

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up? 

destroyer // saint motel

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

summer

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? 

takis lmao idk why i’ve been intensely craving those lately bc they always make me so sick but they’re sooooo good

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed. 

nothing nsfw tonight

(58) What Is Your Gender? 

female

(59) Coffee Or Tea? 

coffee

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? 

school hasn’t even started for me but i still had homework today lmao i finished it a few hours ago but it was a quick quiz over the syllabus for history. if you did it before the class met you got 1 point added to your overall grade at the end of the semester and i’m bad at history so you know i was all over that

(61) What Is Your Sexuality? 

bi but probably gay i really don’t know i never experimented quite enough

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? 

no i don’t believe in that

(63) Favourite Pokemon? 

espeon

(64) Favourite Social Media? 

instagram

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories? 

they’re fine i just always forget to watch them or use them. i like the boomerangs though

(66) Do You Get Homesick? 

i mostly just miss having time by myself in my room to just chill

67) Are You A Virgin? 

no

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

idk pantene something and it smells so good

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? 

probably the motel, i’d feel safer

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? 

yes

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? 

It!!! i wanna see it with my brother realllll bad

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex? 

not oooooone bit

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

"look. life is bad. evryones sad. we're all gona die. but i alredy bought this inflatable boumcy castle so r u gona take ur shoes off or wat"

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? 

i mean i wouldn’t say sexiest i think that depends on the person but i feel like brown eyes are jus like, deeper u know. i love em

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? 

yes yes

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? 

some lays limon chips bc i didn’t eat enough dinner

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone? 

flow, gin rummy (my personal fave), 1010, gardenscapes, tiny tower, tripeaks, snake vs block, ballz, adcap and this morning i downloaded dumb ways to die and roll the ball bc i am bored w the games i have and wanted to play smth else

78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not? 

i would if i knew CPR but i do not so i would try to find someone that does so i don’t waste time trying and doing it wrong

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? 

yeah probably but i don’t do that so much anymore

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? 

not like stalk in the bad way but i’ve checked up on people and i’ve done some digging before

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? 

it makes me anxious but i really like meeting new people 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. 

i just wear this one!! it’s my gf and i’s promise ring, she got em for us as our 1 year anniversary gift and i wear it every day

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed? 

closed !!! 

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? 

1. i had lunch with my girlfriend 2. i picked my brother up from school and we talked shit 3. i had a full blown panic attack about school being tomorrow

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? 

usually just underwear but if i’m cold i’ll wear a big t-shirt too

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. 

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? 

night

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc. 

answered the phone on already but i have sooo many games bc my brother plays a lot of videogames lmao but i have an xbox 360, an xbox one, a playstation 2, and a wii and i have a ton of games for each of those that we’ve collected overtime lmao, plus some for our old PC and i also have access to everything my brother buys on steam. out of all that i only really play call of duty, LA noire, GTA V, just dance, harvest moon for wii ?? that’s it lol, i’ve been meaning to play life is strange and gone home and the wolf among us though

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened. 

had a really bad nightmare recently that someone was robbing my workplace and killed my best friend, Caitlin and my brother in front of me and then we went on business as usual like nothing happened and it was so scarring i honestly only think about that when i think about my dreams anymore

(90) Favourite Soda Drink? 

coke

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? 

i like real ambient upbeat music that you’d listen to on like a road trip or smth

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? 

jeans but only bc my favorite pair of sweats got bleach all over em and i keep forgetting to go buy some new ones

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? 

like an undercooked fish fillet

(94) Ever Had Any Suicidal Thoughts? 

oooooooo boy have i

(95) Name Something That Relaxes You. 

soft music, driving, my girlfriend when she talks real gently to me n rubs my back

(96) What Tattoo Do You Want? 

right now i am tryin to decide if i wanna get a big ol B&W half-sleeve of sunflowers on my right arm

(97) Favourite YouTuber? 

still love grace helbig a lot bc she’s funny n i have a crush on her but i’ve been binging elijah and christine so much lately

(98) Post A Picture Of Yourself. 

this was me yesterday when i let my hair do it’s natural thing and i looked like a lion. i was into it though

(99) Do You Have Any Illnesses? 

my brain is not a good one but thas ok it happens

(100) Favourite Place To Relax? 

my room or my car

[kangdan101]

questions tag :)

tagged by @hwangminyeo :’) lmao im sorry my life is so uninteresting but it was fun to answer these still heh

THE LAST

·        drink: water! Recently I’ve been trying to drink more water bc I am extremely dehydrated; i tend to drink like 1 cup a day (lol) stay hydrated kids

·         phone call: this morning!

·         text message: like one min ago I was just arguing with my friend whether or not our math teachers first name is jose or not (update: I was right, it IS jose xD)

·         song you listened to: ENERGETIC BY WANNA ONE!!11

·         time you cried: maybe like 15 min ago…????? Lmfao I was watching wanna one sing always and I got emotional (i cry about everything)

·         HAVE YOU EVER

·         dated someone twice: it’s hard to date someone twice if you’ve never dated someone at all lol (motae solo like minhyun)

·         kissed someone and regretted it: no

·         been cheated on: no

·         lost someone special: yes :’(

·         been depressed: yes. This last year was really really hard for me. Balancing dance and school and everything made me super stressed and I started to pull myself away from ppl :/ tbh produce kinda got me out of it lol and im 100% ok now

·         gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (lol bc I’ve never drank before hahaha theres so many things I haven’t done)

·         3 FAVORITE COLORS

·         Baby blue

·         Mint green

·         Peach pink ;)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

·         made new friends: yes

·         fallen out of love: no 

·         laughed until you cried: literally I laugh way too much for my own good

·         found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so :o

·         met someone who changed you: yes, many of them! (esp kangdan tho)

·         found out who your friends are: yes :)

·         kissed someone on your Facebook list: yikes no

GENERAL

·         how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: mostly all my fb friends go to my school but I don’t actually know some of them? So I’d say like 70%

·         do you have any pets: I’d like to think my little brother Anthony is secretly a dog bc he resembles one and can get hella wild sometimes lmao

·         do you want to change your name: my name is legit the most basic Chinese name ever I know like 3 other people with the exact same first and last name and alskdjgowaei;lskdfj it gets on my nerves sometimes I always liked the name lilia / lily but in 7th grade I met this girl whose name was Philomena and its now my favorite name ever

·         what did you do for your last birthday: lmao I studied bc I had a hUge test the next day and your girl’s serious about her grades man

·         what time did you wake up: LMAO I woke up twice this morning: first time at 4:40 to catch WANNA ONE DEBUT and then went back to sleep @ 6 am; woke up again at 7:30 am for class

·         what were you doing at midnight last night: I was on tumblr watching everyone hype about wanna one it was gr8

·         name something you can’t wait for: finishing junior year + SAT shit :/ lol my junior year hasn’t even started yet but im so nervous I hope I don’t screw up and thinking about it is making my heart beat faster yikes (wish me luck guys hopefully im still alive by june)  

·         when was the last time you saw your mom: a few min ago~

·         what are you listening to right now: my little brother Anthony is singing shape of you and its not pretty lol (he’s eleven)

·         have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t really remember

·         something that is getting on your nerves: the SAT omygod I just really want it to be over and im SO NERVOUS also anthony’s singing is starting to bug me (he changed songs and now he’s singing gibberish and it’s very distracting)

·         most visited website: probably youtube/fb/tumblr

·         hair color: blackish-brown. my roots are black but the ends seem to be browning a lil? Probably since it’s summer now and the sun is working its magic 

·         long or short hair: medium length! Like halfway down my back???

·         do you have a crush on someone: nope & haven’t had one for like two years

·         what do you like about yourself: my monolids? But my mom wants me to get surgery lmfao also i like that i have a naturally high foot arch bc its helpful for dance :)))

·         blood type: a… I think?

·         nickname: name: sarah; nicknames: sawa, sala, salad, swisso (I promise this makes sense in context), moon, moonmoon (these make sense in context too lol)

·         relationship status: single mom of my 98 produce children and always have been lollll

·         zodiac: capricorn

·         pronouns: she/her

·         favorite tv show: descendants of the sun, suspicious partner, I hear your voice, once upon a time, produce aka a horrible show that hurts u in all sorts of ways (pls rec me some bc I wanna binge some tv shows before school starts)

·         tattoos: none atm but maybe when I’m older I want a tiny star, or a tiny moon, or maybe my Chinese name?

·         right or left handed: Right

·         surgery: I got eye surgery done when I was rly young bc the gland between my eyes and nose was blocked which basically made me cry ALL THE TIME (like even when I’d be staring at nothing)

·         sport: I dance! And I used to do rhythmic gymnastics but I had to quit bc school was getting too busy I miss rhythmic gymnastics so much u have no idea

·         vacation: I think I’m going to go out touring colleges along the east coast near the end of august!!!

·         pair of shoes: I wear my converse a lot as well as my nike free runs. But other than that my shoe collection is p limited rippp

·         MORE GENERAL

·         eating: just finished dinner

·         drinking: nothing atm xD gdi in the beginning of this tag I wanted to be more hydrated and look where I am now lmao

·         I’m about to: wash the dishes that we used for dinner

·         waiting for: the day I graduate high school so I can go to college and take classes I love and alskdgjaowlfkdsfj (lmao im such a nerd im sorry)

·         want: to eat some ice cream (I love ice cream)

·         get married: that would be a miracle tbh

·         career: high school student / summer school teachers assistant  THE KIDS I TEACH ARE SO LOUD AND WILD theyre legit animals everytime I step into the classroom i can’t believe these 8th graders are capable of such chaos

WHICH IS BETTER

·         hugs or kisses: I luv hugs and I luv kisses

·         lips or eyes: both???

·         shorter or taller: taller (its not hard to be taller than me lol)

·         older or younger: older

·         nice arms or nice stomach: I think…. Arms 

·         hook up or relationship: relationshiip

·         troublemaker or hesitant: jesus idk I’ve never dated so I really wouldn’t know alskdjgoalkdsfj (but i mean troublemaker is a gr8 song??)

HAVE YOU EVER

·         kissed a stranger: no that sounds scary :0

·         drank hard liquor: no

·         lost glasses/contact lenses: I LOsT MY GLAssES IN FLORIDA ONCE agldkgjaosdfkj I swear I put it down on the airport seat and when I turned around THEY WERE GONE I spend a good 2 hours looking for them but they legit disappeared :/ to this day I am still wondering where that pair of glasses went

·         turned someone down: yes

·         sex on the first date: no 

·         broken someone’s heart: i sure hope not 

·         had your heart broken: no

·         been arrested: no

·         cried when someone died: so many times

·         fallen for a friend: lowkey yes but they still don’t know about that

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

·         yourself: I try to

·         miracles: yes or else what will happen to me in the future I need miracles to carry me bc my luck is trASH

·         love at first sight: no

·         santa clause: maybe for the first few years but then I caught my parents

·         kiss on the first date: no

·         angels: idk actually… I guess?

OTHER

·         eye color: brown; I feel like my eyes have been getting lighter over the years bc the outside of my iris is like brown but near the pupil its more of a hazel

·         favorite movie: I have so many omg I luv spirited away, howls moving castle, the book thief, and I recently watched wonder woman (pls rec some movies too im always in the mood for one :D) 

im tagging anyone who wishes to do this! 

[paperbackphoenix]

yet another fucking tag

thanks to @bvkspine aka the person who tags me in everything

1) Rules : Tag 9 people

@boneseasonofglass @kat-from-minasmorgul @word-stuck @readthebloodybook @introvertedbookworm24 @phoebe-does @zoyalina @xpaperbacksandteax @happybibliosaurus

Last song I listened to: How Would You Like It? by Lauren Aquilina

Last book you read/listened to: the last book I finished was a Pirates of the Caribbean book called Jack Sparrow: Age of Bronze (research and stuff)

Favorite color: blue

Top three shows: ummmm I don’t watch a lot of TV???? Game of Thrones..... Avatar the Last Airbender and..... idfk detective/murder mystery shows in general

Top Three Characters: wHY AGH Luna Lovegood, Lila Bard andddd Arya Stark

Top three ships: Kell x Lila (wtf is their ship name?), Percabeth and stop asking me for 3 I don’t have 3

2) Rules : BOLD the statements that are true for you.

APPEARANCE :

I am 5'7 or taller. For those who use m (170m) guys im really short im like 5′3″

I wear glasses only for reading/watching tv

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have short hair how short is short?

I have brown eyes

My abs are at least somewhat defined I have good core strength tho, and some good ol defined biceps yep

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY :

I love meeting new people sometimes. depends who they are lmao

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me It’s not like a “I MUST HELP EVERYONE thing, but I do give advice when it’s needed

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically now I can’t stop saying it

There’s something I would change about my personality

ABILITY :

I can sing well too many of these things are subjective

I can play an instrument violin and piano kind of

I can do over 30 push ups without stopping I can do this with sit ups

I’m a fast runner HOW FAST IS FAST???

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head I was (I haven’t done maths beyond averages in a year) good at maths but not really mental maths

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling yee boi

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch I don’t go around punching people btw

HOBBIES :

I enjoy playing sports depends on the sport. I was part of a tennis club for about 7 years and I enjoy playing sports non-competitvely. p.e. was awful

I’m in a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else not atm but I have been in 3 orchestras

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week whats that (ok but I do walk like 1.5 hours every day)

I’ve gone for runs once a week in the warmer months

I’ve drawn something in the past month I say ‘drawn’ hesitantly

I enjoy writing

Fandoms are my #1 passion

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES :

I’ve had my first kiss

I’ve had alcohol and it’s gross

I’ve scored the winning goal in a sports game

I’ve watched an entire season of a TV Show in one sitting

I’ve been at an overnight event does a sleepover count

I’ve been in a taxi

I’ve been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I’ve beaten a video game in one day

I’ve visited another country

I’ve been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS :

I’m in a relationship

I’ve had a crush on a celebrity who hasn’t?

I have a crush on someone I know

I’ve been in at least 3 relationships

I’ve asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I’ve had a crush on someone for over a year

I’ve been in a relationship for at least a year

I’ve had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE :

I’ve at least one person I consider a ‘best friend’

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling an annoying ass brother

I live in in the United States

There’s snow right now where I live

I’ve hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT :

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I’ve had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I’ve dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I’ve punched someone in the past week look I said I don’t go around punching people but it’s hard in a family setting ok. (they deserved it)

I know someone who has gone to jail lmao a kid in my psychology class said he had a “good excuse” for not doing his homework, and it was because his parents called the police on him

I’ve broken a bone

I’ve eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life study eng and creative wrting at uni, become an editor and hopefully an author!

I speak at least 2 languages

I’ve made a new friend in the past year

I’ve been given flowers before

ok nice

[lovelesswiki]

Post-Moonless predictions— Well-Kept Secrets (6/10)

previous part<–[here] –> next part

for the last week or so, i’ve been talking about a large theory i’ve been writing. since finishing it, i’ve decided to publish it in parts, since it’s actually about 10 different theories all on one subject. since it’s all written out, i’ll try to be publishing one part of this per day.

essentially, this is a set of theories about what i believe will have to happen in order to properly lead up to a climax–the one we’ve been building up to for years and years now. so, these are what i theorize will happen after the first moonless vs beloved battle, broken up into ten different parts. each theory is explained and theres images for each one.

table of contents (bolded is the post you’re looking at):

moonless and beloved will rematch (1)

soubi will fall into a deep depression and possibly become suicidal (2)

ritsuka will arrive at seven voices, SM’s activity will be revealed (3)

SM will reveal that there was a mole in their organization (4)

kio will be the one to take ritsuka to goura (5)

ritsuka will find things out about soubi and the aoyagi family (6)

SM’s true purpose will be revealed. ritsuka will have to make a decision about good vs evil (7)

seventh SM member will be revealed (8)

nagisa will find out what really happened to sanae (9)

ritsuka will be asked to join SM to fill the aoyagi seat (10)

Theory: soubi keeps secrets well for many reasons, but now that he’s gone, they’re going to have to come to light, and ritsuka will find out more about him and his own family, forcing him to realize just how strong and terrible seimei’s hold over soubi is.

Note: this theory heavily discusses the topic of rape in terms of soubi being both the victim and the perpetrator and in terms of nisei’s rape of mikado. proceeding with caution is advised. 

we’ve already been a little bit introduced to this. or, should i say, ritsuka has been a little bit more introduced to this.

soubi keeps secrets from ritsuka. soubi keeps secrets that he has not explicitly been told to keep. ill write up another post someday about this, but i suspect that soubi keeps secrets about his past from ritsuka because seimei already knew all those secrets and used them against him, and he thinks that not telling them to ritsuka will prevent them from hurting, so he can just ignore his past and pretend like it never happened. this actually isnt uncommon in people who have been through constant abuse, and it makes sense why soubi hasn’t told ritsuka (or anyone) anything yet.

not even kio or natsuo and youji seem to know about soubi’s complete past, involving mainly ritsu’s treatment of him, but also involving what soubi did under seimei’s rule. it is pretty clear from the angry, verbally violent way that he responds to tokino with that he did some pretty terrible things under seimei’s rule. when tokino implies that like nisei, it was soubi’s job to rape and murder enemies, soubi loses his shit but never really denies it. aside from this, we have hard evidence of soubi murdering other teams for seimei, including this being explicitly stated in a drama CD where someone that soubi took pity on comes back to haunt him, and the fact that one of the crimes seimei’s being prosecuted for includes murder, and seimei doesn’t do the dirty work to say the least. there’s also the fact that in the beginning, he kept asking ritsuka if he wanted soubi to murder their opponents, which strongly implies that he’d been put in a situation previously, where that question was necessary and appropriate, and where the answer was ‘yes’. this is a secret long-kept, and i do believe it’s key in understanding soubi, which is something ritsuka (and by extension kio) desperately need, and it’ll play into ritsuka’s later development of understanding that not everything falls into ‘good’ and ‘evil’.

(pictured: soubi starts an yelling argument with tokino over one comment, resulting in youji telling him to calm the fuck down.)

soubi has let a couple things go to ritsuka. he confirmed that ritsu raised him and was very cruel to him, but he didnt expand much on either point. with the few stories that soubi did tell ritsuka, ritsuka seemed a bit distressed and commented that the things ritsu did were horrible. in addition to this, ritsuka learning about seimei and nisei raping mikado seemed to be a huge turning point for him in the way he viewed seimei, and i suspect that there will be something similar when ritsuka learns that soubi was raped at a young age by the man raising him. and i suspect he’ll become very confused and disorientated when he realizes that seimei had soubi do many of the same things that nisei did. while i think their situations are different to where soubi had no capacity to enjoy it or even want to do it, whereas with nisei and in the case of mikado, nisei seems to have gone above and beyond whatever seimei ordered him to do and going along with his personality, enjoyed it, especially given his comments of liking it when listening to ritsuka cry through his wiretaps. 

(it’s probably safe to say that he enjoyed what he did to mikado.)

ritsuka is a particular character, because he’s young, and young people tend to view the world in terms of ‘black’ and ‘white’. for a long, long time, ritsuka viewed his brother as ‘good’ and in the series, mostly towards the beginning, he struggled with whether or not soubi was a ‘bad guy’. however, hes quickly discovering that the world isn’t so clear-cut, which we’ll get to in a hot minute (or more, in the next part of this series).  

by some way or another, probably by just directly asking ritsu or nagisa and by spending an extended amount of time at seven voices, ritsuka will find out about soubi’s childhood. he will also go deeper into what the flashback chapters introduced and we’ll find out what further transpired with ritsu, nagisa, akio, and the rest of the kids in that particular year. i say this because, at this point, it’s detrimental to the story. we’ve gotten to a point where we sort of need to know why these older characters act the way they do and why there’s so much bad blood between them. this will also help ritsuka understand SM more, too, but ill get to that in the next point. there’s also the fact that, you know, theres two potential people that could be ritsuka’s father, the fact that soubi’s mother and ritsuka’s mother were friends, and the fact that a kid suspiciously drown in knee-deep water. so, a lot of unsolved mysteries we haven’t gotten to yet.

so, we have ritsuka and kio finding out about the horrors of soubi’s past, and i think this will heavily impact the way ritsuka sees ritsu and septimal moon. right now, ritsuka seems to sort of respect ritsu, but i doubt he will after he finds out about everything, especially the fact that ritsu raped soubi when he was incredibly young and abused him in every way before and after that. this will cause ritsuka’s opinion of ritsu to drop incredibly low, which will affect what happens in the next part of this series.

ritsuka may also find out about the things soubi did for seimei and will find out that many of the crimes that seimei is held accountable for were actually done with soubi’s hands. i don’t believe in any way, shape, or form that soubi can be held accountable for this in this world, nor do i personally believe he should be held accountable, but i’m unsure if ritsuka will immediately see it this way. ritsuka will be forced to make a choice about good vs evil regarding soubi, and will be forced to come to the realization of just how strong seimei’s hold over soubi and nisei is and what the extent of his power is.

in addition, we’ll find out more about ritsuka’s family, too. i should say that im a firm believer that yun has been building up to something having to do with ritsuka’s father, who he is, and why he’s never present, and ive thought this ever since we got the indirect confirmation that seats are passed down throughout the family, meaning that it was most likely the elder aoyagi who held it beforehand. notice that i say elder aoyagi and not ritsuka’s father, because we don’t know if ritsuka’s father is seimei sr or aoyagi masaki, misaki’s biology professor in high school. this will play a huge amount into who ritsuka is and what he discovers about himself, and how it could even relate to seimei’s motives and his own memory loss.

the way i see it, ritsuka and seimei are masaki aoyagi’s kids. or, at the very least, seimei is his, but i personally believe ritsuka is, too. however, there’s a very real possibility that ritsuka thinks nowaki seimei--who will be referred to as seimei sr, mostly because i think it’s funny--is his father. i’m fairly certain that seimei sr is the one that ritsuka calls ‘dad’ and the person that we see for a couple panels in the early volumes of the manga, and im unsure if he knows that he was fathered by someone else. seimei jr alludes to knowing more about their family and why they’re named what they are named in an extra chapter about ritsuka’s birthday, but doesn’t say much about his family beyond that. regardless, there is something fucked up going on with the aoyagi family seniors, since misaki, ritsuka, and seimei jr all take the last name ‘aoyagi’. the kids look like aoyagi masaki, but the person ritsuka calls ‘dad’ is never home and is most definitely not aoyagi masaki. there’s also the fact that when seimei jr is being taken to the hospital for ritsuka’s birth in a flashback, we don’t actually see daddy. on top of this ‘dad’ is never home and ritsuka even states at one point while he’s tied up that he won’t come save him, and he doesn’t attend ritsuka’s school functions (in fact, soubi seems to be the person his school considers his parent, since he’s asked to come help out at an art museum and he offers to go to the dad event at school for ritsuka in early series loveless).  

i’m of the belief that something is going on with the aoyagi parental lineage, since i don’t really see any evidence that ritsuka’s father is just absent a lot. there’s too much pointing to the fact that something suspicious is going on. and i think this is something seimei knows, but ritsuka does not. i also think that ritsuka will be finding out more about his memory loss, and i theorize that ritsuka at one point found out something he shouldn’t have, resulting in seimei ordering to have his memory taken, and that soubi is probably the one to have done this, given that soubi is able to alter memories, since he did so to hitomi in relation to natsuo and youji.

to put it simply, there’s a lot of very well-kept secrets that i think are about to come out, and it’s going to be detrimental when they do.

[wizard-in-olympus]

1 - 102 and if you answer them all i'll do the same.. thats the deal

its a deal then

this is gonna be long

                                                         1. Think of the last person who said I love     you, do you think they meant it?                                    

it was mydad so, yeah                           

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age     you are now?

        im 18, so obviously i would

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated     and happy at the same time?

when i left college, 5 months ago. i’ll be back next semester

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i’ve done it, what’s the big deal?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re     dating/talking to the person you are?

i dont think she knows and i dont think she’d even care

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of     someone today? 

yeah andit was awful

 7. What exactly are you wearing right     now?

i’ve heard that line right there too many times, you sound like a 15 yearold trying to get nudes. anyways, im wearing blue pjs

8. How often do you listen to music?

on long rides, while studying, while doing chores, while reading, whilewasting my time on social media. so, most of the time i guess

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? 

jeans

10. Do you think your life will change     dramatically before 2015?                   

ok its 2017 already but im gonna change it to “...change dramaticallybefore 2018?″. not so much, it has changed a lot in a year already

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

social

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name     begins with the letter ‘A’?

yes, my guy best friend, we were both drunk, shit happens. it kind ofbrought us together as friends hahaha

13. What about ‘R’?

no

14. Can you drive a stick shift? 

thats the only type of vehicle i drive

15. Do you care if people talk badly about     you?

i’d like to say no but yeah, i do. it depends on what people tho

16. Are you going out of town soon?

probably tomorrow. i go “out of town” a lot

17. When was the last time you cried?

i dont remember. about two months ago i think

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah.huge mistake

19. If you could change your eye color, would     you?

maybe i’d change my eyes from hazel to a deeper green

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely     everything for?

i thinkso

21. Name something you dislike about the day     you’re having.

i haven’t finished the essay i was gonna present today, now i’ll have topresent it tomorrow                                                      

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your     forehead?

i loveit, yesss

23. Are you dating the last person you talked     to?

no

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my couch

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family)     tell you they love you?

my bestfriend

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t     have?

i do

27. Who was the last person you talked to     before you went to bed last night?

mybrother

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no, i get colds once a year, twice a year tops

  29. Where is the shirt you are wearing     from?

idk, idc

 30. Does anyone hate     you?

i thinkso. im sorry

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles     hidden somewhere in your room?

no, im asocial drinker

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

hate them

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

hell no

34. If you had to delete one year of your life     completely, which would it be?

either 2014 or 2015. big parts of 2016 too... maybe a little bit of thisone but its been the best year i’ve ever lived since 2013.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah, the seniors in my old high school were 10x better than last yearseniors -when i was a senior- and teachers loved them (teachers hated mygeneration) and they all graduated from IB and had their diplomas linned up inthe hall (i didnt graduated from IB or get the diploma and everyone hated me bci was the only student in my generation that failed and so no one could say“gen16 was a 100% IB generation! the first one in this high school!” bc of me)

36. When was the last time you told someone     you loved them?

a coupleof weeks ago

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

i hopenot

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

a couple of people, tiny andd small feelings but i now they do

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you     right now?

maybe wondering what happened to me, yeah. but probably no one is

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

yes, areally good one

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a     relationship?

not a serious one but yeah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out     with a girl?

yeah, lots of girls. but im a girl and i like boys so who cares if ihang out with a girl

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to     ever lose you?

yes and lots of times and they did lose me. i just couldn’t handle themany longer, my patience couldn’t take it anymore, it had been YEARS of dealingwith the same shit and enough was enough. but i couldn’t break theirheart so i just told them i had changed and left. that probably makes me anasshole but idc

44. What’s the best part about school?

meeting new people all the time, learning new amazing things and gettingto test them and the late night bar celebrations when we nailed a test

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

of course, why wouldn’t i?

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in     school?

i used to do that in 7th grade, not anymore

47. Do you replay things that have happened in     your head?

yes i wish i could change so many things, so many situations in which idid the wrong thing

48. Were you single over the last summer?

oh yeah and i had never been so happy of being single

49. Is your life anything like it was two     years ago?

just a little bit but it has changed A LOT and im grateful for it

50. What are you supposed to be doing right     now?

finishingmy essay...

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a     conversation with?

im hating him rn but most of the time i love that guy. stupid guys

52. Are you nice to everyone?

most people. im not nice to one single person but im nice to the rest ofthe human population. fuck that bitch tho

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t     expect to?

i’ve only liked people i didn’t expect to. except one guy probably.

54. Do you think you can last in a     relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

i’ve never cheated, i think i can last a lifetime without cheating.cheating is a horrible thing to do, i don’t wish it on anybody

 55. Are you good at hiding your     feelings?

i used to be very good, lately i suck at it but idc anymore, its ok

56. Do you think you like someone?

kind of

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts     with a ‘J’?

yes and i would do it again

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or     boys?

girls are sketchy, boys are chill. i get along better with guys but theyare also clueless idiots so... some guys

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you     cry?

yes

60. Do you hate anyone?

no

61. How’s your heart?

confused but healthy and happy like it hasn’t been in years

62. Is there something that happened in your past     that you hate talking about?

plenty ofthings

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

no and i dont plan on ever doing it

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap     about you right now?

the same boring bitches that always have, “”friends”“ and also their stupidparents that care too much about what i do with my life. fuck off

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

no

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

i really hope not, not again

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry;     correct?

no, i hate sensitive, dramatic people. if he cries for a good reasonthen ok but i wouldn’t love it, i’d be sad for him too

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in     public?

no

69. Who was the last person you were on the     phone with?

my bestfriend from Peru

70. How do you look right now?

ok, butmessy

71. Do you have someone you can be your     complete self around?

plenty of people (family and friends), im an open book                 

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes, but it looks like however made this questions cant

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex     you can tell everything to?

thought i did, turns out i dont

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes, a couple of times. always by friends tho

75. Did you wake up cranky?

not today, i had an amazing night of sleep

76. Are you a jealous person?

no

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yes yes yes, SO WORTH IT. you just have to find the right person

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not rn

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

more like craving to see him. fuck my life

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

turn in this stupid essay i’ve mentioned twice already

81. Last person you cried in front of?

bestfriend

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yeah

83. Do you think the person you have feelings     for is protective of you?

a littlebit

84. If the person you wish to be with were     with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably taking a walk and talking and staring at his beautiful smile

85. Are you over your past?

most of it. the latest “past” is still haunting me but im getting overit slowly

86. Have you ever liked one of your best     friends of the opposite sex?

not morethan physical attraction

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING     to?

three tofour people

88. If your first true love knocked on your     door with apology and presents, would you accept?

if i had one i could answer this. i think i kind of did and i wouldn’taccept it

89. So, the last person you kissed just     happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

what do you want??, what is the matter with you??, what on earth are youdoing here?? FUCK OFF.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your     friends hated?

yes                                                 

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

no

92. Is there anyone you know with the name     Michael?

yeah

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

i live in Costa Rica, im latina. guys here have names like “Jose, JuanPablo, Andres, Gerardo, Alonso”, not “Matthew, James”. so of course i haven’t

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

no and i lived the single life at its finest

95. Were you happy with the person you liked     in March?

no

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you     texted attractive?

he’s a fucking model for fuck’s sakes, he’s a GOD. he’s so hot. why am ifriends with him?? itcomplicates everything

97. Who do you have texts from?

my best friends, my guy friends, my family group chat, my girl friendsgroup chats, my crush

98. If the person you like says they like     someone else, what would you say?

thats great, and do you think she likes you? hey good luck! *pretends idont have feelings and keeps on being a good friends*

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than     you?

the first person i ever kissed was a year older than me

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

ok in my tumblr icon im with my best friend, in my whatsapp, twitter andfacebook profile pictures im alone

101. Ever kissed under     fireworks?

no

  102. Has anybody ever given you     butterflies?

no

done!  that took me like an hour damn... sorry to the people who’s dashboard i interrupted with this post

[triathlol]

RACE REPORT -- “THE DREAM” -- 2017 cherry blossom 10 miler

THE INTRO if you don’t want to read the whole thing, at least like the post

After a few years of reading mostly garbage race reports — and telling myself that i should add my own garbage voice to this concert of narcissism —  I’ve decided to finally get in on the action. Yes, try to remain excited. Getting mad about the clickbait that got you here is, at this point, just sour grapes. You’ve already committed. There is no going back.

We all know that my parents, plus the three or four friends I claim to have, really haven’t heard about this race enough, and i’ll be damned if i don’t give the consumers what they want. After all, the “invisible hand” and “market driven forces” are what’s truly behind these words you’re currently reading. I feel compelled to provide this report--no big government takeover necessary.

you dont need a PHD in econ to know that people like writing about themselves more than they like reading about others.

Okay, lets get on with it.

THE PREP an approach based loosely on science

My body is my temple, except that it runs on mostly chipotle, ice cream, and “what IPA’s do you have on draft?” In complete and total acceptance of this fact, my goal for the week leading up to the race was to cut back on the frozen, sugar-infused, dairy-heavy pillar of my diet. This was a wild success (I have literally never been able to pull this off despite trying at least 3 times).

there is no shame in my game. 

The other two pillars continued to bare the weight (shouts to you guys) like champions. By race morning, i was about 3 pounds under my normal training weight, which to me made sense bc that is how much ice cream I eat every week. Confidence from said prep (plus a successful light week of training — 2 swims, a chill AF 4 mile run) was sky-high. Whatever happened during the disaster that was the second half of my brick last Sunday was a distant memory.

THE PREGAME “you wanted to do this, remember?!”

Alarm went off at 0530. At this time, I was reminded, the sun hasn’t even considered coming up yet. Pre-race fuel consisted of a banana, a cookie-dough flavored picky bar, 1 cup of rocket-fuel-strength-coffee, and 2 aleve.

After paying an embarrassing amount of $ for an uber to the race (thanks, WMATA, for continuing to suck to the point where you can no longer open early for this race), i found myself texting fellow competitor “double dinner” Dan Paltiel with basically frozen fingers.

context: we make jokes about things that flywheel instructors yell. basic formula = white girl name + motivational/aggressive line

Not joking--the concrete around the Washington monument had transformed into something resembling dry ice. Also the sun was still not out.

Once Triple-D rolled out of bed and got to the race, we dropped our gear and immediately proceeded to sidestep the 45 minute bathroom line (he deserves all the cred here) for the lawless, clusterfuck that was the area between the two rows of porta-johns. Big government had no effect in this space, and we found a line with literally 2 people. We then found a large tree to block the wind, made a couple more flywheel jokes (so many basic girl names in this race--we couldn’t help ourselves), and then packed in among the “sheeple” in our designated wave.

THE ACTUAL F’ING RACE probably the least interesting portion (which is saying something)

I don’t participate in Black Friday shopping, but I can only imagine that the first few miles of every CU Cherry Blossom 10-Miler has some similar characteristics. It’s a crowded fucking nightmare where everyone is really pissed off and cranky. Like, running in a phone booth-level tight. I was cut off more than a few times, and am sure I was guilty of doing the same. Every year, these guys oversell the concert, and the patrons suffer. But it’s a deal we all make for sweet instagram pics and race times that make us feel like we are real runners. There is no such thing as a free lunch (or a free like).

too slow in the first mile, maybe too fast after.

My self-proclaimed “dream” race was 1:15 (7:30 minutes per mile pace). I had a back and forth with myself (the sign of a true narcissist--cataloging discussions with yourself) as to whether this was realistic, but decided that it wasn’t totally out of the picture. DDD and I weaved our way around traffic to keep up with the 8:00 minute pacers through the memorial bridge, and for the north turn up rock creek parkway, but once we made the turn back south and caught the gale at our backs, the governor came off and I started relatively hauling some ass.

That was the last I saw of Dan until after the race. Nice try, brah (seriously though if he beat me at my own game after hardly training, retirement wasn’t out of the question). Also, worth noting that he ran 1:16 which is fast as shit and I would’ve totally been happy with that number, too. 

The next mile was straight down gale and I rode it--hard (don’t!). The increased pace kind of just stuck from there on out. Miles 4-8 (mentally, what I would consider to be the most challenging) were about 75% downwind. I almost didn’t believe my watch (”oh shiiiii....”) when the splits started coming in under 7:10. While I felt pretty good, I have literally only run 10 miles one other time in my life, so the last few miles were quite opposite of a guarantee. Shot block went down at mile 6, along with some gatorade--the only things that went into my body during the run other than insecurity + self doubt.

“50% chance this is really happening/50% chance im gon’ die”

Speaking of the Hains Point--god daaaaaamn am I sick of this piece of property. I mean, I get why they included it, but riding in DC for a couple years has got me to the point where I know not only every pothole like the back of my hand, but also all of the golf holes at East Potomac Golf Course like the back of my hand. I’m pretty sure I could mock up a decent yardage book for the holes along the road, none of which I’ve ever played.

not even these abrasive watermarks will force me to buy this photo. no shame, remember?

Major props to the fans, volunteers, and musicians all along the course, but especially to those who were out at HP. I’m not sure if that DJ who was off by herself was officially sanctioned, underground, or what, but she was great. Also the drummers around mile 9--you guys continue to crush.

Miles 9 and 10 were a serious slog. The wind was back at us, and everyone was obviously hurting from the last 60 minutes of running. My mile 9 split was surprisingly at pace, but I burned a lot more matches to keep that up. We were in the “audibly moaning” portion of the program by the 15K mark, and pure misery by the small (although it feels like K2 by the time you get there) hill that’s a quarter mile from the finish. Although I was pretty wasted by this point, I told myself that even if I completely crashed I could drag myself the rest of the way while still beating expectations and, crucially, Dan.

Well, thankfully that didn’t happen--I crossed the finish line at 1:14:01. Immediately, in what I can only assume was a last form of protest, my body engaged in a couple very serious dry heaves . There was definitely an “oh shit, im gonna be THAT guy” moment, but it it passed, and I made the next slog (another half mile(!) walk) to the guys with the water. Done.

yo those 8 dudes need to srsly chill. 

THE TAKEAWAYS you made it this far--don’t quit now!

This course couldn’t be any faster, and the weather was what an old coach of mine would describe as “dome like conditions.” Light winds, no humidity, temperatures in the 50s and sunny--literally “no excuse” weather. The chances I get that same gift for any of my triathlons this year is obviously not that great. That all being said, I am super stoked about my first race of the year, and what I can potentially achieve in 2017.

not pictured: jennifer--who’s name is on my bib. thanks jms! 

It’s clear that spending the winter/early spring doing a lot more training on hills, and mixing in some weights has really helped catalzye my improvement without totally overloading my schedule. I’m going to need to continue all of this plus some additional swims/rides for my first tri of the year which is now only 5 weeks away. If I don’t break break 7:30 m/pm on the run there, then I will blame this stupid turbo-charged race for destroying my expectations game. Which, at the end of the day, is the only one worth playing.

your moment of zen courtesy of HANNAH F’ING TRUSLOW. thanks for reading--more to come soon -R