#i haven’t been involved in drama on here in so long

[zyx]

there’s some tea between me and this one person on here and i wanna talk about it so badddd but some of my mutuals are mutuals/friends with this person and bdhsjdhjddj idk if i should trust y’all

[kamiversee]

˗ˏˋ My Love Note ´ˎ˗

1 | Something about you

❧ Synopsis | In which Choso Kamo, your asshole of a best friend, starts to change after you get involved with a rather cheeky cashier, Gojo Satoru.

❧ Content | flirting, language, suggestiveness, fluff, & faint sexual tension.

❧ Word Count | 7.1k (we're starting off strong it seems...)

❧ Pairings | Choso Kamo x f!reader & Gojo Satoru x f!reader.

| Chapters mlist |

——Congratulations, you’ve nearly escaped hell— not-so-happily entering your final year of university as time stands currently. And y’know what, you think you’ve coasted through most of your college years drama-free. Well, aside from freshman year you suppose, everyone fucks up around that time…

But that’s a tale for another day, right now, you’re finding yourself waltzing into an entirely different plotline— with your head held high as you waltz toward a newfound cafe that you haven’t had the pleasure of finding for the past four years. Up until today, you’ve just barely been stomaching dining hall caffeine. Which, to say the least, isn’t nearly as savory or energizing as coffee from your local cafe. 

Four years you’ve been going to this school and yet here you were walking right into an establishment you swear simply spawned out of nowhere because you pass this street all the damn time and you don’t remember this place being here a week ago. Yet, when you enter the cafe and spot a sign that says they’ve been there for the past three years, you begin to realize that maybe you should start going out a bit more…

Nonetheless, you mentally claimed that if the coffee here was bad, you’d walk right out and return to never acknowledging the place. But hey, when you do push past those double doors, fingers wrapped around a warm metal handle, a waft of smoky coffee aromas simmering into your nose, and spot a rather attractive cashier first thing, you’re quick to tell yourself that maybe shitty coffee might be worth a few things.

Especially seeing as six staggering feet of height, fluffy bright white locks of hair, and the most dazzling set of blue eyes take notice of your entering seconds after you’ve stepped inside— how could you not tell yourself that terrible coffee may be worth digesting so long as you get to drink in this tall, fine man whose name you note as Gojo as you near him and read the tag on his apron.

“Suguru, it seems the gods have finally answered my prayers,” Gojo yells back to someone you can’t quite see yet. His eyes were all over you, drinking you in just as you were him. The tall man receives a laugh from somewhere further behind him before he redirects his words to you, “To what do I have the pleasure of serving you today, sweetheart?”

Your lips parted as you approached the counter fully, your eyes lingering on his far longer than they should’ve. “Uh,” And you were making a fool out of yourself already, great, “It’s my first time here, so I’m not too sure…” Okay, that’s a decent enough save considering how your words earn a half smile from the man in front of you who tilts his head and eyes you down.

And fuck if he wasn’t every bit of intimidating looking down at you like that. He places a single hand onto the counter space in front of him, leaning forward just a bit before turning his head back to take a glance at the menu hanging up, as if he didn’t have it memorized already, “Well, for first-timers I usually recommend anything but our coffee.”

You bat your lashes at the man for a moment as he returns his attention to you, “Seriously? That’s the one thing I came in here for…”

“Ah, well,” Gojo clicks his tongue and shrugs a bit, leaning toward you just to whisper, “Y’gotta come here when I’m in the back.”

You lean forward, intrigued by his words, “…Why?”

“Cause’ Suguru doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing,” Gojo chuckles a bit and you reciprocate before pushing your brows together questioningly. “Suguru, my best fr-, my coworker.” He clarifies quickly.

“Ohh,” You nod, “So should I come back another time, or…?”

“Nono, you caught me a few minutes before rush hour,” Gojo says rather cheerfully before he leans away from you and flashes a smile, “I can run back there ‘nd make ya’ somethin’ since we’re not too busy?”

At that, you take a moment to glance around the cafe interior, spotting one, maybe two people sitting on their laptops and languidly sipping or munching away at their breakfast. You’re glad you came in when you did.

Not only did you get the chance to talk to Gojo, who you turn back to seconds later with a nod, but you also got the chance to get not-so-shitty coffee according to the man. “Yeah, actually. That’d be nice,” You hum to him.

Gojo dramatically moves to stretch his arms, clasping his hands together before extending them out with a heavy sigh, as if he were preparing to do such a difficult task. “Alrighty then, is there any specific kinda coffee you’re lookin’ for?”

“Still my first time here, Gojo. So, no…” The way you say his name so suddenly has him wondering if you knew him from somewhere. But, you quickly smile a little and nod your chin to his name tag, to which he looks down and laughs at himself. “Surprise me,” You then say moments later.

“Surprise you?” Gojo echoes.

You shrug sheepishly, “If that’s not too much work for you-“

“No, I don’t mind. I can surprise ya’,” His smile at you deepens and you catch the slightest dip in his cheeks as the most enamoring set of dimples pops out to your gaze. “Buuut, before I do… Do you have any allergies or dislikes I should be wary of?”

You hum, “Uh, no I don’t think so? I’m feeling rather open-minded today so, just bring me something good enough to have me returning for more.”

“Yeah? I mean, I’m sure you’ll come back for somethin’ else aside from jus’ coffee,” Gojo laughs to himself at his own comment and your eyes simply widen, a cute lil’ tilt of your head catching his attention.

You chuckle nervously, “What else would I come back for if not coffee?”

He shrugs before slowly turning away, “Oh, I dunno… Perhaps a certain handsome cashier that’s caught your eye?”

Oh, you see where he’s going with this. It may have been a while but, you know what flirting looks like. “Is this handsome cashier in the room with us, or…?” You tease with a smile on your face, watching the way Gojo freezes and he sends you this look that you have to try your hardest not to laugh at.

He nearly pouts, “W-Well, yeah, obviously. You’re lookin’ at him.”

Your brows lift, “Am I?”

Gojo narrows those pretty blue eyes of his at you, “Do you not find me handsome?”

“Say I didn’t,” You murmur tauntingly, “Wouldn’t you be really embarrassed?”

The corner of his lips twitch before he scoffs playfully, “What are you, some kinda masochist?”

You giggle, “No, but seein’ that pout on your face was kinda cute.”

“Pout?” Gojo gasps dramatically, “Hah, what pout?” He scoffs again before straightening his face and attempting to be serious with you, “I didn’t pout-“

“You totally did,” You cut off, peering right into those mesmerizing eyes of his— damn, it was almost like you couldn’t get yourself to look away.

“I did not,” Gojo corrects your statement, lower lip poking out once more into a pout.

You shrug and finally get yourself to glance off to the side, “It was cute.”

He instantly tilts his head at that, ears perking up, “Y’think I’m cute?”

“I do.” You hum simply with your eyes wandering right back over to his face.

There’s this little moment between the two of you, a spark if you will, where you both just meet one another’s eyes and admire each other. Is this what mutual attraction feels like?

Perhaps if you squinted, you would’ve noticed the faintest shade of pink decorating his cheeks, “I-,” Gojo swallows suddenly, “Why thank you, sweetheart,” He utters suavely, as if to save himself from embarrassment. After which, he clears his throat, “That aside, we’ve got about six minutes before people start rushin’ in here ‘nd it’ll take two for me to prepare that coffee of yours so, do you mind givin’ me a name?”

You blink, “A name…?”

“Your name,” Gojo clarifies.

“Oh! Sorry,” You’re quick to apologize for your moment of daze, giving him your name seconds later to make up for it.

He starts to smile again, “That’s your name?”

“Yes?” You utter almost confusedly. Was there something wrong-

“It’s pretty,” Gojo interrupts your thoughts completely and your eyes go all wide all over again, a small feature in which he finds absolutely adorable.

“T-Thank you,” You stammer out, turning away to now avoid the eye contact you once couldn’t tear yourself away from.

“Uhuh,” His eyes scan you up and down once more before he sighs, “I’ll be back in a sec’, sweets,” Gojo says finally.

God, you think the nickname he threw out has your heart racing because it made your face so utterly hot. Almost as if you don’t hear nicknames like that on a daily basis…

Aside from that, you gave Gojo one last nod before looking back over your shoulder to see if anyone was coming yet. He’d told you that there was only a few minutes until rush hour so you were a bit wary that people would appear out of nowhere in the next-

“So you’re the girl that’s got Satoru all giggly, huh?” A voice purrs from somewhere in front of you.

Quickly, you return your gaze forward and spot a man, equally as tall as Gojo, with long dark hair, slim eyes, and a really pretty face— holy shit, how many hot guys work here??

“Uh,” You’re stuttering again, tipping your head to the side, “…Satoru?” You repeat, confused by the person he’s referring to.

The man chuckles, “Gojo,” He tells you, “Satoru Gojo,” You nod at the clarification and he grins warmly.

“Oh, then yeah I guess so,” You shrug sheepishly before flashing a smile, “So then that means you must be Suguru-“

“Geto,” He’s so quick to correct you that you almost immediately shut up, swallowing down your words as if you’d said something wrong. “Sorry, I assume Satoru told you my first name?”

You steadily nod, avoiding eye contact with him out of embarrassment, “He did…”

“As expected,” Geto hums before letting out a long sigh, “Just call me by me last, I don’t know you too well so I’m sure you understand.”

You hum, “Right, sorry.”

It’s a tad bit awkward for the next few seconds after that mild conversation but when you hear Gojo yelling from somewhere in the back, the awkwardness quickly subsides.

You even spot Gojo popping his head out from around the corner just to speak to his coworker, “Suguru don’t scare her off jus’ cause you have a girlfriend-“

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Geto interrupts, sharp with his correction as he glances back over his shoulder.

Gojo snorts, “Fine then, girl who’s a friend that you like-“

“I don't-,” A sigh leaves Geto’s lips before he’s moving to pinch the bridge of his nose, groaning afterward, “Just hurry up with the damn coffee before people start comin’ in.”

Your eyes somehow find Gojo’s and you watch him mouth out something to you, “He’s grouchy because his girlfriend’s ignorin’ him-“

“Satoru,” Geto says scoldingly, causing Gojo to flinch dramatically.

Then you see the white-haired man laugh before winking at you and dipping back around the corner. After which, you don’t even realize you’re smiling until you meet Geto’s gaze and feel your expression drop at the glare he’s giving you.

“What?” You murmur warrily, raising a brow at his plain look.

Geto tilts his head and studies your face for a mere moment, “You new around here or somethin’?”

“New to this cafe, yeah,” You explain, “Why?”

He shrugs, “I’ve learned most of our customer’s faces and majority of them live around the area but I’ve never seen you before.”

“I live not too far from campus but I wasn’t aware this cafe was here until today…” You explain steadily, earning somewhat of an intrigued expression from the man.

“Damn, really?”

You nod, “Mhm.”

“So, wait,” Geto scoffs a little at the thought, “Don’t tell me you’ve been stomaching dining hall caffeine all this time.”

You chuckle and glance off to the side, “Well…”

“If you live near campus, how the hell are you just now finding us??” Geto questions, he seems genuinely confused by your cluelessness.

Your shoulders lift into a shrug, “I don’t go out much.”

“Maybe you should,” He tells you.

A thin lipped smile tugs at your lips, “Starting to realize that now, thanks.”

The man opens his mouth to say something but he’s cut off by Gojo returning from the back and placing a hand on his shoulder, to which Geto glances down at.

“Alrighty Suguru, thanks for not scaring the pretty lady away!” Gojo says cheerfully as he pushes past his friend and makes eye contact with you.

Geto’s brows push together, “You’re welcome? I don’t know how I would’ve scared her, I-“

Gojo unintentionally cuts him off with a laugh, “You’ve been kinda grouchy towards women ever since you met-“

“Fuck off,” He grumbles, brushing off Gojo’s hand on his shoulder and turning to make his way to the back once more.

“See what I mean?” Gojo hums to himself.

Then Geto laughs, “You’re not a woman are you?”

“Suguruuu,” Gojo whines, turning his head back to his friend who’s already disappeared from his line of vision. Then, Gojo sighs and looks to you again, “Ah whatever, ignore him, he sucks sometimes.”

You grin, “You guys are best friends, aren’t you?”

The way Gojo tilts his head almost innocently is kinda cute, “How can you tell?”

“Mine acts similarly,” You explain, thinking of your best friend who’s not the nicest person in the world.

“Yeah?” Gojo hums, “An asshole once they get into a relationship?”

“I’m not in a relationship, Satoru!” Geto calls out from the back.

You watch as Gojo rolls his eyes at his friend's refutation of his claims. Looking somewhat off to the side, your thoughts wander more so toward your best friend, “Well, no, he’s kinda just an asshole all around.”

“Really? Why’re you his best friend then?” You’ve always found this question funny considering most people are confused about how you and your best friend are even friends when most times you two don’t get along.

Instead of really answering Gojo’s question, you look up at him and smile, “I could ask you the same thing, no?”

His brows furrow and he scoffs, “What? No, Suguru’s just grouchy today, I promise he’s usually better than that.”

You nod, “I see…”

“Anyway,” Gojo extends his hand out to you, “Here, give this a try,” He offers, handing a decently sized cold drink to you.

You receive the item and look down at it, “You’re not trying to poison me right?”

Gojo laughs, “Aaand why ever would I do that?”

The cup is steadily lifted to your lips as you lift your eyes to him once more, “I dunno, men are weird.”

“That they are,” He chuckles, “But no, that’d be illegal and I have no intentions of harming you.”

Again, you just nod at that and then take that first sip of the surprise drink he’d given you. A strong taste of vanilla and a nearly overwhelming amount of coffee creamer hits your tastebuds. You smile but you’re a bit taken back by how sweet it is. One, it’s way better than any cup of coffee you’ve ever had from the dining hall and two, it’s a lot sweeter than you were expecting.

“Holy fuck, how much sugar did you put in this thing?” You utter in surprise as you move the cup away from your mouth and glance at it as if that’ll give you the answer to your question.

Gojo lets out a laugh, “You said to surprise you.”

“Yeah but this is sweet as hell,” You tell him, your eyes raking over the cup in your hand.

“Sweet drink for a sweet girl, I don’t see a problem,” He responds with a little lean toward you.

“Right and-,” You scoff, eyes narrowing at the very lousy print of your name on the cup, “Who’s…” You almost laugh, “Christ, your handwriting is shit.”

Gojo lets out a huff, “Okay, first off, my handwriting is not that bad. And secondly-”

You’re quick to turn the cup to him and lift it, “Look at it!”

“Oh.” He squints his eyes at it, “Shit, that is kinda bad…” Gojo mumbles with an amused little smile on his face.

“Yeah, I can’t even read this…” You laugh, returning the cup to yourself, “But that’s okay, I appreciate the effort,” His smile grows at your comforting words as you then look up at him once more, “How much?”

“Since my handwriting’s so shit,” He starts, tilting his head at you and shrugging, “Consider it on the house.”

Your eyes seem to light up, “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” Gojo hums.

“Aw, thank you,” Who would you be to ever pass up something free? Especially given by this cheeky cashier before you.

“Anytime-”

Geto’s voice intrudes from the back, “Satoru I thought I told you to change these filters? And why’d you leave such a big mess, holy shit.”

Gojo yells back to his coworker, slightly looking over his shoulder, “The mess isn’t that bad is it?”

You snort, “If it’s anything like your handwriting then uh…”

“Alright,” Gojo’s quick to look at you once more, “You just got a free drink out of me so I don’t wanna hear anything from you.”

“Satoru, these filters aren’t gonna change themselves,” Geto nags further.

You watch as Gojo rolls his eyes and yells back to his friend yet again, “You’re literally back there already, change them yourself.”

“Nope, it’s your turn,” Geto argues.

Gojo frowns, “But-”

“The girl’s not goin’ anywhere anytime soon,” At that, you blink in surprise. How does he know you’re not ready to leave just yet? “Get your ass back here,” Geto orders.

Gojo turns his head and looks at you almost pleadingly.

You giggle, “What? Sounds like you’ve got some filters to change, Gojo…”

“Y’know what,” He scoffs and nods his chin to the cup in your hand, “$5.45.”

Your head cocks back a little and your brows go up, “I’m sorry?”

“The drink,” Gojo hums simply, looking back to make sure Geto wasn’t on his way out to scold him some more just yet, “Since you wanna take his side over mine…”

The way you frown misses Gojo’s eyes up until he turns to look at you one last time, his eyes going wide as you try to defend yourself, “I wasn’t-”

“S’fine, I got it,” An entirely different voice grumbles from your right, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. So close to you, an arm slips right past your face and you watch as an all too familiar man extends a card out to Gojo.

Your lashes bat a few times as an annoyingly familiar scent of cologne rushes into your nose. You’d literally just escaped said smell a few hours ago after leaving your apartment and yet here it was all over again, directly in your nose and you met the side profile of your best friend, “Choso?” You utter.

Whatever light and fluffy banter that was in the air seconds ago seems to die at the mere presence of Choso standing so closely beside you. Ignoring you, he urges Gojo to take his card and Gojo soon does so with a scoff— he was going to keep flirting and teasing you but here comes this all-too-serious-looking man taking your vacant side as if it were second nature.

The smile Gojo once had on his face simmered down and his expression became a lot more neutral as he quietly moved to charge Choso’s card.

After which, your best friend finally looks down at you, his eyes pointed in a glare that would make anyone feel unloved despite you knowing he feels quite the opposite (to some extent at least), “Don’t you have class in an hour?” Choso asks you in a dull monotone.

Your face scrunches up slightly before you shrug, “I was thirsty…”

Choso stares at you for a long moment, glances at Gojo, then back to you with a scoff, “Yeah, clearly.”

“What’s that supposed to mean-,” You’re cut off by Choso taking his eyes off of you and receiving his card back from Gojo, the two men making eye contact once more and both looking as if the other had done something to offend them. Your best friend openly scoffs in Gojo’s face before pocketing his card and turning away, quickly walking out of the establishment.

Your eyes go wide, “Choso, wait!” You call out as your eyes followed him walking away from you. Only to be ignored again, you let out a huff and start to walk after him but turn back to Gojo one last time, “Sorry about him.”

Gojo’s expression seems to light back up a bit and he shrugs, “You’re fine.”

You nod and start turning away before remembering something and looking at Gojo yet again, slightly pointing at him, “You owe me a free drink by the way,” You remind him playfully.

His face is twisting right back up into that intrigued expression from earlier, “Do I now? And what for?”

“Your shitty handwriting of course,” You hum.

"Hm," He takes a second to think before letting out a slight huff. You then feel and watch the way his eyes glide up and down your body before he responds to you, "Alright."

And with that, both of you smile at one another one last time before you go running off to catch up with Choso. Gojo watches you almost in some kinda trance as you leave, spotting more customers approaching but ignoring them for the most part as his gaze remains glued to you until you’re completely out of his line of vision.

Then, he lets out this breathy little sigh, “Fuck…” Moving to wipe his face off as if that’ll rid himself of whatever the hell he’s feeling after talking to you. 

He didn’t even get to ask you for your number like he wanted to…

With perfect timing, “Satoru, the-”

“Filters, yeah yeah, I got it,” Gojo cuts Geto off completely, turning around to see his friend emerging from the back as they both swap places due to the approaching rush hour.

· ───────── · ꨄ · ───────── ·

Outside, you were met with a slap of heat as soon as you exited the cafe, your eyes searching the area for Choso. A slight breeze of refreshing wind brushes over your skin as you finally spot the man having not gotten too far away.

Barely managing to catch up to him, you nudge Choso on his arm as soon as you meet his side, “Why’d you pay for my drink? I could’ve done that myself.”

Just as he did earlier inside the cafe, he acts as though you’re not even there, keeping his gaze forward and pretending he didn’t hear a single thing you just said.

“Choso? Hello??” You huff out, nudging him on his arm again.

His lip twitches into a scowl and he just barely side-eyes you, “What?”

You ignore all of his attitude, as you typically do, “Why’d you pay?”

“You’re a walking charity case,” Choso hums all too casually.

Your head goes back and you scoff, “I-, what? No, I’m not!” Then the back of your hand is landing on his arm as you hit him and he almost smiles.

Finding amusement in your reaction, he shrugs, “Yeah you are,” And before you can even try to get a response out, the cup of coffee in your hand is stripped from your grasp faster than you could blink. Choso removes the top and takes a sip, “Ew, you like this shit?” He scowls, placing the top right back on and handing you your drink back.

You blink, struggling to process a logical reasoning behind his action, “First off, no one told your ass to take a sip. And secondly-”

“I wanted to know what you got,” Choso cuts off, glancing at you to watch how quickly you get annoyed by him.

You groan, “You could’ve asked if that was the case.” He shrugs your words off and you roll your eyes at him, “And how the hell did you know I was in there anyway?”

“I didn’t,” Choso tells you, “I always go in there but today I happened to see your short ass at the counter when I walked in.”

You’re quick to shoot him a glare, “Stop that, I’m not short.”

He’s got this arrogant little grin on his face, “Look short t’me.”

“That’s because you’re taller than me, which doesn’t make you tall in general nor does it make me short.” You explain to the man simply with your eyes shooting daggers into the side of his face.

Choso continues to act as though you’re not even looking at him, “Being shorter than me makes you short-”

“And y’know what,” You cut off, tearing your eyes off of your overly bothersome friend, “You’re annoying.”

He cocks his head back, “Annoying? I’m annoying?” Finally, he looks at you, now searching the side of your face for answers.

“Yeah, very.” You hum.

Choso scoffs and then sizes you up and down, “Says the one who was gawkin’ over Gojo Satoru of all people.”

You nearly laugh, “Fucks’ that supposed to mean? How would that make me annoying?”

“He’s a weirdo,” Choso shrugs, pocketing his hands as he faces forward once more, “I can’t understand what you could possibly find attractive about him.”

You blink and both of you slow down in the pace of your steps, “I talked to him for less than ten minutes, how was I supposed to know he’s weird. And wait-, how does me finding him attractive even annoy you?”

Your best friend sighs and his words come out all too casually for them to be so offensive, “Cause when he breaks your heart,” Choso looks at you, “You’ll come bitchin’ to me about it.”

At that, you freeze, quickly turning to meet his gaze, “Who says he’ll break my heart? And bitching? Is that what you call me talking to you about my relationship issues?? Bitching? Seriously?” With your eyes narrowed and brows tightly knit together, Choso should’ve sensed that he struck a nerve there.

Yet, he seems to not care in the slightest, blinking as if he’d said nothing wrong, “Fuck else am I supposed to call it? I warn you about every guy you date but you don’t ever listen to me.”

Your face twists up, “That doesn’t make my complaints ‘bitching’…”

“Well, it makes it fucking annoying,” He hums before pulling his lips into a thin smile— mocking you through facial expressions.

Your brows go up, “Really? Okay then, sorry for ever confiding in you,” You set your eyes straight once more, “I’ll just go find someone else to-”

“You know no one else is gonna put up with your shit the same way I do,” He’s so quick to dismiss your little statement, almost as if the implication of you ever leaving him, in a sense, bothered him.

You scoff matter-of-factly, “That’s not true.”

“It literally is though,” Choso deadpans, “You have one friend and that’s me. Who the hell else are you gonna go rant to, hm?”

“Someone that doesn’t call my rants bitching.” You huff, crossing your arms over one another.

Choso scales his eyes down to your arms and he smiles, “Are you seriously mad about that?”

“Maybe,” You shrug.

His feet come to a stop and you follow suit, turning to avoid his eyes as much as possible. Choso stares at you for a moment before leaning toward you, tilting his head and angling his lips toward your ear.

All of which done so he could whisper to you, “M’sorry, princess,” Choso murmurs to you affectionately, “Y’know I didn’t mean that seriously, I’m jus’ fuckin’ with you.”

You remain unphased for a mere moment more before the constant brush of his breath against your skin makes you shudder, your hands moving to his chest to push him away, “Yeah, whatever… And stop calling me that.”

Choso blinks, feeling confused since you act as if he hadn’t been calling you such a thing for years, “Why?”

“Cause I don’t like it…” You so clearly lie— not that you enjoyed the nickname but more so that you’ve always felt indifferent to it. Or, almost always.

He smirks, “Your face is telling me an entirely different story.”

“Yeah?” You chuckle, moving to shoot your middle finger at him, “And what story does this tell you?’

Choso stares into your eyes for a long period of time before looking to your finger, smiling fully and tilting his head again, “…You wanna fuck me?”

Immediately putting your finger down, your brows tense, “What? No!” You exclaim, groaning as you return to your walking, “God, I cannot stand you.”

He laughs and follows right alongside you, “You’re so easy to annoy, holy shit.”

“And you’re insufferable,” You huff.

Choso shrugs simply, “You love me though.”

You glance at him, “Debatable.”

He pouts and pretends to clutch his heart, “Ouch-”

“Anyway,” Returning your attention to someone much less annoying than the man beside you, you nod your head back toward the cafe, “Do you know if he’s single?”

Choso nearly trips over his steps at the sound of that, letting out a cough, “Who-, Gojo??”

You nod, “Mhm.”

“Why?” Choso’s lips twitch, “You lookin’ to get rejected?”

Pausing, you look to him with a quirked brow, “Excuse me? What makes you think I’ll get rejected?”

“You’re uh…” He trails off a little, eyes lingering down your frame before he smiles and speaks to you in this faux gentle whisper, “Not his type, sweetie.”

Your eyes roll at that, “Okay, first of all, fuck you. Secondly, how do you know?”

“Uh, I’ve seen the kinda girls he’s into so trust me when I say…” Choso’s eyes shift to peer directly into yours, “It ain’t you.”

You stare back for a moment before shaking your head and looking off, “Whatever, you’re just saying that.”

“Yeah because I’m gonna lie to you about something like that,” He snickers to himself before rolling his eyes. Within seconds, he goes to look at you again only to see you heading in a different direction, “Hey! Where’re you goin’?”

“Away from you!” You call back.

He laughs yet again, “What, you can’t handle the truth now?”

Glancing back to him, “I’m gonna prove you wrong asshole.”

Choso flashes you a shit-eating grin as if he’s already begun praying on your downfall, “Sure you will.”

He then watches as you further away from him, his smile steadily fading as he catches himself a bit too happy at the sight of you so determined. Choso shrugs off whatever feeling the topic of Gojo Satoru had brought up within him, dismissing the entire thing as he truly believed you’d never really get yourself too involved with that guy.

Unfortunately for him, he didn’t see the way you were taking to Gojo before he walked in so, Choso had no idea of how things were about to play out within the next few hours.

· ───────── · ꨄ · ───────── ·

As such, after that morning class of yours that extended decently into the afternoon, you found yourself rushing back to the cafe as soon as you could.

You knew not of Gojo’s working hours so you had no clue whether or not he’d still be there but you sure as hell hoped so. Choso had really ticked you off with his claims.

You not being Gojo’s type? Yeah right, he didn’t see the way that cashier was looking at you, nor did he hear all the banter that took place. Given that, you were determined to prove your dear friend wrong and yourself right. You know flirting when you see it and that’s exactly what Gojo was doing.

So to say he wasn’t at least intrigued by you would be a blatant lie you had every hope on exposing to Choso.

When you finally find yourself entering that lovely little cafe, it’s a lot more busy in comparison to earlier— something you take note of for your possible future visits. The line wasn’t exactly too long but quite a few people were hanging out or studying throughout the establishment.

That aside, your eyes were quick to search for a certain white-haired barista, gaze lighting up the very second it meets the man it questions. 

Gojo had a weary smile on his face as he handed some girl a coffee and you could tell based on his eyes alone that he was tired of the chick rambling to him. He nodded and nodded, trying to keep himself appearing entertained by whatever she was saying but when he glances over and spots you, all his attention is diverted.

Those pretty blue eyes of his fixate on you and you watch as he finally dismisses the girl, nodding toward you as if to say he had another customer to tend to. She shrugs and finally leaves, to which you take place in standing where she’d been seconds ago, sending a smile to Gojo.

“Long day?” You suggest with a slight tilt of your head, to which he nods.

“You have no idea,” Gojo sighs out to you, “You’re back sooner than I expected though.”

He didn’t know what it was about you, perhaps the way you gaze at him, but there was something that kept his eyes lingering on yours far longer than normal— something that genuinely lulled him in. Perhaps it was the natural flow of conversation and how even from earlier, you didn’t really feel like a mere customer but instead just a person, a woman at that-, a very pretty woman, might he add.

“You owe me a free drink, remember?” You remind him, earning a different reaction than expected.

Gojo pauses, “Ohh… About that…” He hums, moving to scratch the back of his neck, “Yeah see, that offer no longer stands…”

You blink, “I’m not sure I understand…”

He lets out a sigh, then moves to lean forward against the counter, bending down and crossing his arms as he rests on his elbows and comes much closer to your eye level, “Another cute girl came in ‘nd got it before you,” Gojo whispers.

You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not and your brows pinch together, “Seriously?”

“Mmhmm,” He hums tauntingly with this smug look on his face as if to say giving away your promised drink was to get back at you for something.

“Well,” You click your tongue, “I think you owe me a free drink now more than before, maybe two.”

Gojo smiles, feeling amused, “Yeah? I mean, my number’s free. Y’want that instead?”

Your voice gets caught in your throat at how ridiculously smooth that was, trying your hardest not to give in and return a smile. “I… What am I supposed to do with that?” You end up asking.

He snickers, “Perhaps text me? Or call? Y’know, the thing you do with phones-“

“Alright smart ass,” You scoff playfully, grinning as you move to pull out your phone, “What’s your number then?”

Gojo smiles triumphantly and extends his hand out, “Here, lemme put it in for ya’.”

You glance at him, eyes meeting and yet another moment passing before you hand him your phone, to which he takes a second to look down at the device in his hands. Then, he enters his number and a contact name for himself.

After which, your cell is quickly returned to you and you look to see what he’s put in. Studying the name closely, you tilt your head, “Satoru?”

“Mhm, tha’s me, sweetheart,” He purrs, moving to rest his cheek against his knuckles.

You look up from your phone, “You want me to call you Satoru?”

Gojo shrugs, “If you don’t mind, yeah.”

“We’re on a first-name basis already?” You tease, eyes narrowing at the man.

“It seems we are,” He utters. His voice was a bit lower with you now, much more casual and playful. “That alright with you, pretty girl?”

Unknowingly, your face flushes, “Yeah, that’s uh, that’s fine.”

Gojo lets out a hum, “Good.” Then, the two of you do that thing yet again, peering into one another's eyes, unmoving, nearly frozen and dazed for a moment longer than intended before Gojo snaps out of it by almost awkwardly clearing his throat, “So uh, you still want that free drink or…?”

You blink out of your own stupor and shake your head, “No, I’ll come back for it tomorrow.”

“Oh?” His brows shoot up in surprise, “You’re coming back tomorrow?”

“It seems I am, yes,” A smile graces your face and he can’t help but stare.

Gojo mirrors your expression, “Just for coffee?”

Your eyes wander off to the side cheekily, “Perhaps for a certain handsome cashier too…”

He thinks his heart is fluttering. Is this normal? To experience such a genuine infatuation with a woman’s words within less than twenty-four hours? It was unusual for Gojo, that’s for damn sure. Hence why his head is tipping to the side, “Really? Have my charms worked so soon?” He teases.

You return your gaze to him, “Just a little, yeah.”

Mesmerized by you, Gojo nods, “Good to know.”

“Mhm,” After a slight hum, you glance down at your phone and check the time, “Well uh, I actually have another class so I should probably go.”

“Yes… Yes, you should,” He voices out slowly, again entangled into that daze of his until you lift your head once more, “But uh, make sure you text me later, yeah?” Gojo reminds you.

To which you chuckle and start turning away toward the exit, “No promises.”

He’s left in a mere awe of you, not even knowing what to say, and left utterly speechless from such an intriguing yet simple conversation with you. As you wave bye, Gojo had to feel for his heart the very second you leave just to see if it was working correctly because he’s not sure what the hell that was just now.

Whatever it may have been, he knows it was much more genuine and raw than what he’s typically used to. And it came so naturally too, the banter, the gazes, the flirting… Gojo was longing for more already and he’d only just met you a few hours ago.

· ───────── · ꨄ · ───────── ·

All the while you’re just as cheerful at the interaction you just had, beyond ready to brag to your doubtful best friend of your most recent accomplishments.

Which is exactly why you’re facetiming said friend as soon as you leave the cafe. The call rings for less than a second before it’s answered and you’re met with a visibly displayed and… shirtless Choso.

Before you get the chance to even try and take in his naked torso, he’s already scowling at you, “The fuck are you facetiming me for?” He grumbles, taking the smile right off of your lips, “I’ve seen your face enough for one day. Why don’t you ever call like a normal person??”

You bat your eyelashes at the man, “Cho, we just got on the phone and you’re already souring the mood…”

He ignores your complaint, “What do you want?”

Steadily, your smile returns, “Guess who got a certain someone’s number,” You utter cheerfully, voice light in a little sing-song tone.

Choso gives his phone a blank stare, not saying a single word in response to that.

Which confused you, “Well? Are you gonna guess-“

“You could’ve texted me this shit,” He cuts off before you watch as your screen is soon met with the ceiling as he places his phone down.

You pout, “Well, yeah but then I wouldn’t have been able to see your reaction…”

He scoffs and pops his face into the camera for a second, eyes dull, smile nonexistent, eye bags heavy, and tattoo running across his nose the only thing giving some form of expression despite it being nothing more than a dark black line. “Does it look like I give two shits about you gettin’ some asshole’s number?”

You let out a long sigh, “Remind me why we’re friends again?”

And that’s when Choso seems to smirk, “Cause’ you won’t leave me alone.”

“I’m hanging up,” You groan.

His laughter, albeit somewhat of a rare sound, fills your ears, “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

You send him a look, “Are you?”

“Mhm, good job on gettin’ his number, princess,” Choso coos, making your eyes widen, “I’m proud of you.”

Your mouth opens to say something to that but your throat runs oddly dry. Instead, you gulp down his sudden praise and ignore how warm his words make you feel. “…Thank you.” You eventually say.

“Uhuh,” Choso nods before removing himself from the camera again, “Pretty sure he’s just trying to fuck though.” He says bluntly.

Instead of choking like he expected you to, you only scoff, “Fine by me.”

Your best friend is quiet for a moment, feeling almost silenced before he sighs, “Oh… But you told me no-“

“That was entirely different, Choso.” You cut off.

He shuts up again.

“You were drunk, and…” Your voice dies out.

To which he raises a brow at his phone, “And what?”

“And things were different back then,” You sigh, trying not to recall the entirety of your past with Choso at the present moment, “…You were an even bigger asshole, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Choso sighs, moving to dismiss the topic, “Anyway, let me know how things go with your new albino boyfriend.”

You scoff, smiling at the suggestion itself, “He’s not even my-“ 

The call disconnects. Oh how you just love your best friend and his antics. You wouldn’t trade your friendship with him for anything.

Or at least, that’s what you told yourself anyway. What exactly does a new man in your life bring if not drama? This right here was but the beginning of a very interesting journey toward such a fickle emotion we know as; love.

mlist | next chapter |

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[oddinary4bts]

Chasing Cars | ch 7 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: hangover, curses, alcohol, leg day at the gym, jungkook's reputation, a v dangerous game of spin the bottle, explicit content: jungkook's ass, hickeys, oral sex (female and male receiving), praising, fingering, marking, mouth fucking, hair pulling, spitting, degradation, protected sex,

☆word count: 15k (whoops)

☆a/n: more frustration?? and then not. Enjoy <3 and thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here!

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Saturday, March 2nd

[08:12 am] bröther👽: call me when ure up

You’ve been ignoring the text since you woke up an hour and a half ago. Pretending that you never received it, pretending that Jimin held his promise and didn’t tell anything to Taehyung. 

It’s a foolish dream – the text is proof enough that Taehyung knows, or at least perhaps suspects something about you and Jungkook. You don’t know what to do, what to think, so you ignore it altogether.

Maybe if you ignore it long enough, it’ll disappear.

Maybe if you ignore it long enough, yesterday won’t have happened. 

Jungkook invades your thoughts, his drunken kiss chasing everything else away. Your blood heats up, your cheeks redden, and your heart is beating faster in your chest as you relive the scene, again and again. 

You’ve been reliving it all night long, the ghost of his soft lips on yours haunting you in your sleep. 

You sigh, rolling on your side, hiding your face in your pillow. You’re aware you should get up, but you can’t bring yourself to, too afraid to run into Jungkook. Though you haven’t heard him move from his room, and you assume he’s fighting against his hangover, or maybe he’s still asleep. Another sigh escapes your lips as you turn on your back, looking up to the ceiling. 

Maybe Jungkook was drunk enough to forget about last night. It’d make things easier - maybe then you won’t have to confront him at all. But you know it’s wishful thinking - he was steady enough to kiss you dumb, so you highly doubt he’ll forget.

Especially if the kiss stole the breath from him like it did to you…

You groan, turning to hide your face in a pillow again. Maybe you should disappear, vanish into shadows until you don’t have to talk to your brother or to Jungkook. Or maybe you should just move to another country and start a new life.

You hate this. You wish it’d be easier, simpler, but of course you had to get involved with your brother’s best friend. It feels like the start of a corny teenage drama, the kind of thing you’d once watched with reverence.

Now you know it to be hell. 

Your phone vibrates a couple of times on the mattress where you left it, multiple text messages coming in at the same time. You raise your head from the pillow, trying to catch a glimpse of the screen, but from this angle you can’t see who texted you. Annoyed, you roll until you can grab your phone, and you look down at the screen, squinting your eyes.

Your eyes widen, and your heart stops beating far too long for it to be normal. And then you gulp, rereading the messages to make sure you aren’t imagining anything.

[10:12 am] bröther👽: plz call soon, got some plans tonight [10:12 am] Nabi: do u want to go shopping this afternoon? [10:12 am] JK: sorry about last night. do we have painkillers?

The texts don’t change. In truth, you don’t mind about Taehyung or Nabi. You just didn’t expect Jungkook to text you, especially not to apologize. It makes you think about the kiss, though differently this time. 

Is he really apologetic? Or does he only believe it to be the right thing to do? You can’t tell. But you still get out of bed, going to the bathroom so that you can retrieve painkillers for him. You make a pit-stop by the kitchen to pour him a glass of water, and then you walk to his bedroom. You stop in front of the door, heart suddenly beating out of your chest. 

This is just Jungkook, you try to remind yourself. Nothing to be worried about. Except that he’s your brother’s best friend, and that you fucked, and that you can’t really get him out of your head now…

You take a deep steadying breath, and then you gently rap your knuckles on the door. You wait for a few seconds, awaiting an answer, but none come. 

“Jungkook?” you let out.

A long groan replies, and you can’t stop the smile that grows on your lips.

“Can I come in?”

Another groan answers, though this time Jungkook eventually says, “Yes.”

So you turn the doorknob, pushing the door open. Jungkook’s room is neater than you’d expected it to be - a few scattered items of clothing lay on the floor, and the dark monitor of his PC setup faces you. You scan the rest of the room, your cheeks turning bright red when you notice Jungkook.

Mostly, you notice Jungkook’s ass, as he’s lying on his belly, naked, over the covers. 

“Put some damn clothes on,” you blurt, looking away from him.

He groans. “Don’t speak so loud, shit.” A few seconds of silence, and then he adds, “Besides, you’ve seen me naked before.”

“You have no shame,” you grumble, but you still step into his room. “I got you painkillers.”

“Why have shame when you’ve got a body like mine?” he teases, raising his head. A boyish smile sports his lips, though he quickly lets his head fall back down, grunting. “Thanks for the painkillers.”

To your relief, he pulls a blanket over him as he turns, hiding the lower half of his body. He sits up, wincing, and you hand the water and the pills to him. He looks at them like they’re foreign, before patting the bed next to him.

“Don’t be shy,” he says, leaning back against his headboard. The one you’ve heard banging in your wall way too many times. “I don’t bite.”

You roll your eyes. “Just take the damn pills.”

He pouts, lower lip jutting out, and you ignore the way it makes your heart race in your chest. He finally grabs the painkillers, and you blush as your fingers brush, electricity jolting through you.

How can he have such an effect on you?

“Thank you,” Jungkook lets out once he’s taken the white pills and downed the water.

You nod. “I’ll let you sleep it off, now.”

“Is my room so not inviting?” he teases as you’re walking out. 

You turn around, leaning against the door frame, arms folded on your chest. “We can’t do this.”

“We can be friends,” he says, features serious as he holds your gaze. Though you struggle to keep your eyes on his - his strong body invites the gaze, and you seek to explore the planes of his body.

He must have noticed it because he breaks into a smirk

“Friends wear clothes around each other,” you reply.

He rolls his eyes, sighing deeply. “Is my body that bad?”

“Do you really need the compliment that bad?”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “So you admit it would be a compliment?”

You shut your eyes in annoyance. “You’re insufferable, Jungkook.”

When your eyes flutter open to that same boyish grin on his lips, you feel yourself folding. You tell him you’ll just get your phone in your room, and then you walk back to his bedroom, hesitantly crossing the threshold. He’s already lying down again, and he’s thankfully pulled the blanket higher over his body.

You sit on the side of his bed, clutching your phone in your hands as if it’s a lifeline. Jungkook’s gaze is heavy on your profile, and you glance at him.

“Don’t worry about yesterday,” you tell him, meeting his gaze.

Big eyes welcome you in, and you feel entranced. You wonder if he feels the same - if your gaze is prison to his eyes as well.

“Are you sure?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

You shrug. “I kissed you back, didn’t I?”

“You did.” He slowly breaks into a smirk. “You seemed to enjoy it quite a lot.”

“Oh my God,” you let out, making to get up and leave. Jungkook is quick - he grabs your wrist, stopping your motion.

“I’m just teasing you, peach.”

“You can’t tease me like that,” you scold him. “We can’t do that.”

He lets go of your wrist, almost reluctantly. His fingers twitch as they fall on his bed between the two of you. “Sorry,” he apologizes, and you’re surprised at how genuine he sounds.

You nod once. “No worries.”

Eyes locked on his, you both fall silent. You feel like you’re falling forward, like Jungkook really is the sun pulling in the comet that you are. You wonder if he reads everything in your eyes - if he knows that the moment you fucked for the first time, you were gone.

You hate that you are. You feel weak, but how can you resist?

The sound of ringing startles you, cutting through the tension in the room. You look down at your phone in your hands, and your heart drops to your ass at the picture of Taehyung looking back at you.

And maybe you’re hungover too, or perhaps still drunk. Because you don’t think about it - you answer the Facetime call, and you smile a tight-lipped smile as you wait for it to connect.

“Hey loser,” Taehyung greets you when you appear.

The moment his eyes narrow, eyebrows bunching together, you realize your mistake. Somehow, you take it in stride, immediately crafting a lie out of thin air.

Or maybe half a lie.

“Your loser of a best friend got so drunk he needed me to give him painkillers,” you offer as an explanation, and you turn the camera towards Jungkook, who gives a thumbs up, face hidden in his mattress.

“Sounds on brand,” Taehyung replies, features relaxing. “Tough party yesterday?”

“He hosted your friends over here,” you explain, surveying Taehyung through the screen. “He and Jimin got pissed out drunk.”

“Hey, I wasn’t that drunk,” Jungkook interjects, faking offence.

“Shut the fuck up, JK,” Taehyung says, and you really try to read his features. 

Has Jimin told him anything after all?

“What are your plans tonight?” you ask your brother, trying to stir the conversation away from yesterday.

Taehyung smiles. “Date night with this girl,” he says, and he turns the camera towards a pretty girl that you recognize from the Instagram Jungkook showed you. 

“Tae!” she shrieks, and she turns away from the camera.

“She’s shy,” Taehyung says, chuckling. “But we’re going to go eat at a restaurant near the Eiffel Tower.”

“Romantic,” you chime.

His smile grows wider, and you see it in his eyes. You see the light overtaking them, the fond softness that makes him look so young and vulnerable. “Always.” 

There’s a shared silence, interrupted by the shuffling of Jungkook behind you. You look over your shoulder to find him sitting again, and you can’t stop your eyes from dipping down.

You hate that the sheet has slipped. Because you see his semi for half a second before he’s able to hide himself again. If he noticed, Jungkook doesn’t let it show, instead saying into your phone, “Partying without you isn’t the same, bro.”

“We’ll party when you get here,” Taehyung promises. “The French know how to party.”

You stare at Jungkook’s reflection on the screen of your phone, at the smirk that grows on his lips. “Oh, we’ll have catching up to do, I’m sure.”

“Think I can still beat you at beer pong?” Taehyung asks, grinning at his friend.

“Good luck with that,” Jungkook replies. “I’ve been perfecting my form.”

Taehyung bursts out laughing, and Jungkook chuckles behind you. It’s a cute sound - the one he reserves for his close friends. You like the sound, like that he’s comfortable enough around you to let you hear it.

The two friends keep on talking, Jungkook seemingly healed from his hungover as he goes on and on about stuff that happened yesterday. He avoids everything related to you, but he speaks about Lisa, far more than you expected he would. 

So you gulp, listening to him praise the girl, listening to Taehyung asking when he’ll fuck her. It does something ugly to you, and your features fall, though the two men seem to be too focused on their conversation to notice.

Until Jungkook’s gaze dances on your features, and he says, “Sorry, I hi-jacked the conversation.”

You shrug. “Don’t worry about it.”

Yet he slightly furrows his brow, concern seeping into his gaze. It stays for the rest of the conversation, as Taehyung’s girlfriend - Ariane - finally joins in. They look happy, and for a moment, jealousy steals your heart. You’re good at hiding it though, far better than you hide your disappointment from Jungkook speaking about Lisa, and soon enough the conversation reaches its natural end, Ariane and Taehyung needing to head to their reservation.

You tell them goodbye, Jungkook waving at them over your shoulder. The moment the call disconnects, Jungkook says, “You know I don’t care about Lisa.”

You glance at him. “Okay?”

“I’m just trying to make sure he’s not unto us…” he sheepishly adds. “Jimin texted some shit in the group chat last night.”

Your throat goes dry. “He did?”

Jungkook’s tongue darts to toy with his piercings, and he nods once. “Yeah.”

You wait for him to say more, but he only looks at you, features unreadable. “What did he say?” you ask after a few seconds of holding his gaze.

“That you and I are pretty friendly,” he admits. “With a lot of emojis.”

You shut your eyes. “Tae is going to kill me.”

“I wouldn’t be worried about you,” Jungkook reassures you, chuckling lightly. “If he kills someone, I guarantee it will be me.”

“Fuck.”

He nods, then shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not like we can do anything about it.” He holds your gaze for a few more seconds, before glancing outside. “Anyways, I think I’ll head to the gym.”

You tilt your head to the side, a small, disbelieved laugh escaping your mouth. “Aren’t you hungover?”

“Working out helps with headaches,” Jungkook explains. “At least for me.”

Unconvinced, you nod once, and then you get up from where you were sitting on his bed. You cast another glance around his room - your eyes still on a frame with two young boys in Disney World, smiling brightly. You recognize Jungkook in the youngest one, and something about the fact he keeps a picture of him when he was younger on his bedside table is far too endearing.

“You have a brother?” you ask.

His eyes trail to the pictures. “Yeah, Junghyun.”

“I’ve never heard about him before.”

He smiles, winking at you. “You never asked.”

You roll your eyes, though a smile curves your lips upwards as well. “Alright then, I’ll let you go to the gym.”

“Want to come with?” Jungkook asks.

You widen your gaze. “I don’t really go to the gym.”

Jungkook slips out of bed, keeping his sheet around his waist. The muscles on his abdomen move under his skin, and you can’t help but glance down, remembering his semi-erection earlier. You flush entirely red, and Jungkook laughs, clearly knowing where your mind went.

“Never too late to start, peach,” he teases. “I can help you.”

“I’m supposed to go shopping with Nabi this afternoon,” you say, though you haven’t accepted your friend’s invitation yet.

“You don’t need more clothes,” Jungkook says, heading towards a drawer. You watch as he rummages through it, before pulling a pair of black Calvin Klein underwear from it. “You’ve got plenty enough already.”

“And?” you let out. “Girls go shopping for more than clothes, Jungkook.”

He winks at you, before turning his back to you. The sheet drops to the floor, and you immediately look away as he puts his underwear on, facing you again when he’s finally hidden himself from you.

“Please?”

“Please what?” you ask.

“Please come with me?”

There’s a light in his eyes. Something hopeful, vulnerable, and it takes you aback. So much so that you almost take a step back. Your heart goes wild in your chest again, and you hold his gaze.

What would have happened between you and Jeon Jungkook if he wasn’t your brother’s best friend?

“Why do you want me to come?” you ask, sounding a little breathless.

“You’re fun to be around,” Jungkook offers as an explanation, shrugging. “And I prefer working out with people.”

“Can’t you invite Jimin or someone else?”

Jungkook pouts. “Jimin’s hangovers are a lot worse than mine. He won’t want to go out.”

You sigh, holding Jungkook’s gaze as you ponder if you should go or not. If it’s a good idea to spend friendly time with Jungkook after everything that’s happened. But you don’t seem to be able to escape his orbit. Not when his gravity is so strong, his eyes so open.

“Alright,” you say. “But don’t expect me to lift heavy.”

*****

You meet Jungkook in the hall after you’ve both eaten a small breakfast - nothing too heavy before the gym, as Jungkook said. He offers you a friendly smile, and then he looks down your frame, the smile melting into a smirk that makes your blood eat up in your veins.

“You look hot, peach.”

You sigh, rolling your eyes. “You’ve never seen a girl in sports leggings before?” you ask as you make your way to the closet so that you can pull your coat out.

Jungkook is already wearing his, and he watches you as you put your coat on, stuffing your phone in the pocket before zipping it up.

“None that look as good as you,” he flirts.

“Shut up,” you grumble, slightly shaking your head. 

“What! It’s true,” he insists, and you push him towards the door so that he moves away from your boots. 

You put them on, before grabbing a pair of sneakers from the closet as well. Once you straighten, Jungkook grabs the shoes from you, stuffing them in his gym bag as you go to retrieve your purse from where you left it in the kitchen, cursing yourself for not grabbing it before putting your boots on.

You meet Jungkook in the hall again, and he leads you outside, glancing at you over his shoulder. “Careful, it’s pretty icy.”

You nod, and you hold onto the railing of the staircase, following behind Jungkook after you’ve locked the door. You successfully make it to the bottom, and then he guides you to his car. As you climb in the passenger seat, Jungkook throws his gym bag on the backseat, before walking around the car to sit behind the wheel.

As he turns the key in the engine, you pull your phone out of your pocket. You go to Nabi’s conversation, feeling bad that you will have to decline her invitation.

[11:09 am] You: can’t, going to the gym

Jungkook pulls out in the street, and then he’s driving towards his gym, turning the music on. He hums to the radio, seemingly fully at ease. You don’t know how he does it - your heart is racing in your chest at the perspective of going to the gym with him. 

[11:11 am] Nabi: the fuck [11:12 am] Nabi: who are you going with

You debate telling her the truth for the whole ride to the gym, and some more as you walk in. Jungkook hands you your sneakers as you stop in the place where you have to take your boots off, and then he offers to keep your coat and purse in a locker with his stuff. You accept, though you ask to buy a water bottle for yourself first.

“I got you covered, peach,” Jungkook says, flicking your nose. “I brought a reusable one for you.”

“How kind,” you tease, and he grins boyishly before heading into the men’s locker room. 

You wait for him outside, eyes on the conversation with Nabi. You wonder what she would say if she knew - would she tease you about the Incident? Would she freak out like you know Ria would?

You say to hell with it, and you reply to her last text with the truth before turning the screen off, looking up to watch Jungkook as he walks out of the locker room, now clad in athletic shorts and a skintight black t-shirt that leaves little to the imagination. 

“Ready?” Jungkook asks, and he hands you the water bottle he mentioned. 

It’s already full, and you take a small sip before nodding your head. “What do we start with?”

Jungkook smiles softly for a few seconds, and then his features grow conflicted. He looks away from you, his Adam’s apple bobbing once as he swallows. You’d give a lot to know what he’s thinking of right now, though life doesn’t work that way.

And would you be able to handle the truth anyway?

“We warm up with cardio, and then it’s leg day,” he tells you as he motions towards the corner with all the cardio machines. “Let’s see how much you can squat, peach.”

You snort as you follow him. “Are you just trying to get a good look at my ass?”

You’re relieved when he bites, offering you his usual cocky smirk. “So what if I am?”

“You’re disgusting,” you say, though you laugh with him as you reach the treadmills. “By the way,” you let out as you both climb on a treadmill, turning them on. “I’m hosting some friends at the apartment tonight. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh are you now?” Jungkook teases. “And you were mad at me for it yesterday?”

You glare at him, right as he helps you with increasing the speed of the treadmill. “I got it,” you say, swatting his hand away. “This is not my first time at the gym.” You pause, adjusting the walking speed and the inclination of the treadmill to your preferred setting, and then you turn to look at Jungkook again. “I wasn’t mad at you for hosting friends, I was mad because you didn’t warn me.”

“To be fair, it wasn’t planned in advance,” Jungkook reveals. “Jimin cornered me at the library while I was finishing my shift with Sera and they looked way too excited. I suggested our place because they’re always the ones hosting us.”

You’re not surprised Jungkook would offer - he’s a good friend to those he cares about. 

“Makes sense,” you let out. “So I’m telling you about tonight in advance, see?”

“It’s tonight,” he says, cocking an eyebrow.

“And?”

“I’d hardly call it in advance.”

You sigh, looking up to the ceiling. “Whatever.”

“Hope your friends don’t mind me around,” Jungkook says after a whole minute of silence.

You shoot him a surprised look. “Don’t you have plans tonight?”

“Yeah, your party.”

“It’s not a party.”

He shrugs. “I’ll be there nonetheless.”

The thought of Jungkook staying when your friends will be there makes you anxious, and you quickly shake your head no. “You can’t.”

He frowns. “Why not? It’s my apartment too.”

“I don’t…” you trail off, thinking of Ria and her obsession with him.

You know her enough to know she’d jump on the occasion to seduce Jungkook. If she knew what happened between the two of you, she wouldn’t approach him at all - but she doesn’t know.

None of them do, except Hoseok, and even then he doesn’t really know.

“I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour,” Jungkook says, winking, and then he increases the speed of his treadmill to a run that doesn’t allow a conversation at the same time.

You follow suit, just so that you can blame the hammering of your heart in your chest on something else than the fear of what is going to happen tonight. You’d hoped Jungkook had something planned - anything, really - but maybe that had been wishful thinking.

Maybe you should have told him well in advance, asking him to clear the apartment tonight. But he’s been nice, if you forget about the fact he kissed you stupid last night. You don’t have it in you to push him away when he’s acting so… nicely. 

And he keeps acting that way all through the gym. Even though you’re not nearly as strong as him, Jungkook encourages you, helps you with every exercise. You do notice him ogling your ass while you’re squatting, but you do the same to him, and he calls it even as you roll your eyes, blushing furiously. 

It’s fun. It always is – spending time with Jungkook, that is. His easy laugh and smile keep the conversation alive, alight, and you don’t notice the time fly when Jungkook guides you to the mats, where he claims you’ll do some planks and then stretch.

You plop down on the mat, legs feeling like jelly, and Jungkook’s giggle fills your ear, warming your chest. You glance at him, catching him as he smiles down at you.

“We went easy,” he teases, sitting next to you. “You’re adorable.”

“You call that easy?” you let out in fake outrage. “I won’t be able to walk for a week.”

“Oh, won’t you now?” 

You roll your eyes at the innuendo in his voice. “Shut up.”

He grins, patting his pockets. As a frown moves on his features, you push yourself up, sitting.

“Is there something wrong?” you ask.

“I think I left my phone at the squat rack,” Jungkook answers. “Wait here, I’ll go see if it’s still there.”

You don’t have time to say anything before he’s jogging away, and you follow him with your gaze as he makes his way to the squat rack you used earlier. He doesn’t find his phone there – he shoots a look in your direction, and then he’s heading to the reception, to likely ask if someone brought his phone there.

You sigh before grabbing your own phone. You’re about to turn it back on when someone clears their throat, and you look up, eyes slightly widened in surprise.

“Hey,” a buff guy says. “You’re with JK?”

It takes you an awkward four seconds before you reply, “Yeah?”

The guy smiles, nodding once. “Thought so. I just wanted to warn you, that guy is a dick.”

“Excuse me?”

You can’t help it – the offence that takes over you at someone insulting Jungkook burns like acid in your mouth, and you frown as you look up at the buff guy. He raises his hands in defence, but you just keep on staring him down.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you.” The guy’s hands fall at his side, clenching into fists once before he releases it. “We used to be friends, until my ex cheated on me with him,” he offers as an explanation. “I’d hate to see him hurt someone else.”

Though you do feel bad for the guy, you’re still offended – does he believe Jungkook is out to hurt you?

Is Jungkook out to hurt you?

“Listen, don’t worry about me,” you eventually say, not wanting to fight with someone that looks like they could kill you with one well-placed punch. “We’re just friends.”

The guy’s features relax, and his smile feels more genuine now. “Good, I’m glad.” He doesn’t move for a few seconds, and then he catches sight of Jungkook jogging back towards you. You meet Jungkook’s gaze at the same time as the guy says, “I’ll leave you two to it, then.”

You don’t say anything, and Jungkook stops next to you, barely winded from jogging around. He drops on the mat next to you, phone in hand.

“What did Colton want with you?” he asks.

You shrug your shoulders. “Nothing, really. He was just wondering if we were together.”

“Together?” Jungkook repeats, teasing tone in employ.

You cock an eyebrow. “Not like that, dumbass.”

He pouts, though he doesn’t say anything else. And when you look at him like this, you can’t believe he’d cheat on one of his friends. He’s always seemed like a good friend – hell, an hour ago you’d thought him to be a good friend to those he cares about. Which means he probably never cared about the guy – Colton.

But isn’t there something ugly in the act of cheating with someone that’s in a relationship? 

“So we’re doing three minutes of planks,” Jungkook tells you. 

“Three?!” you shriek.

He chuckles. “One minute of regular plank, and then one minute on each side.”

“Bruh.”

“You can do it, peach.”

He gets into position, and you reluctantly imitate him, mind still swirling with what he’s done. At the beginning of the semester, you wouldn’t have been surprised by that fact, yet now it feels odd, strange, even a little disturbing. As if for a moment you forgot how much of an arrogant asshole Jungkook can be, as if you forgot the reputation that follows him.

You wouldn’t be surprised if he’s broken up other couples than this Colton and his ex.

If Jungkook notices your unease, he doesn’t mention it. He does his planks like a champ, while you’re shaking for your life next to him, and then he shows you his stretching routine. You copy everything, and then you follow him back to the man’s locker room, waiting outside for him to change back into his clothes. 

Colton goes into the locker room before Jungkook comes out, and he nods to you as he passes in front of you. You offer him a tight-lipped smile, and then watch him disappear at the bend in the hall. Jungkook gets out a couple of minutes later, as you’re turning on your phone again.

At the sight of the frown on his features, and the light red tint on his cheeks, you can only assume that he and Colton had a talk.

“Something wrong?” you ask him.

“No.” His answer is curt, almost cold, and you widen your gaze slightly as he hands you your stuff.

He barely waits for you to put your coat on before he’s walking to where you can grab your boots, and you awkwardly jog behind him, thighs burning, almost afraid he’s going to leave without you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” you insist as you kick off your shoes, putting your boots on.

“Honestly peach,” Jungkook says. “Just drop it.”

It’s your turn to frown. “Did Colton speak to you?”

His silence is answer enough.

“Fuck that dude, Jungkook,” you try to reassure him, but it doesn’t look like it works.

Maybe because you’ve changed since Colton spoke to you, thoughts of Jungkook being a cheater haunting you.

“Just put your boots on,” Jungkook dismisses you, and anger starts welling in your chest.

You don’t say anything until you’re out of the gym, Jungkook’s car just a couple of meters away.

“You don’t have to act like a dick with me, you know?” you tell him.

Jungkook spins around to face you, and you almost bump into him. You catch yourself at the last second, and you look up to meet Jungkook’s dark gaze. Even in the light of the day, shadows are hiding behind his pupils. It makes him look raw – like he’s been chased by demons of his own, thoughts haunting him in ways you can’t understand.

“I’m not being a dick with you, peach,” he drawls. “We’re just friends, and I don’t feel like talking.”

Oh.

“Are you upset because I told him that we’re just friends?”

“I’m upset because that fucker told you stuff I’d rather you not know,” Jungkook answers, voice slowly rising as he fails to put his anger in check.

You furrow your brows. “Everyone knows your reputation, Jungkook.”

He recoils. He physically recoils, taking a step back as if you’ve just punched him in the face. You feel bad – you feel infinitely bad, as his gaze grows pained for a few seconds before the anger hides it away again.

“Right.” He scoffs, shaking his head. “Why do you want to be my friend, then?”

“Because people are going to say shit,” you answer, shrugging your shoulders. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

He laughs, but it’s so cold, devoid of any warmth he’s offered to you recently. “Before you start believing some shit, I was fucking the girl before Colton got in a relationship with her. I told him she wasn’t trustworthy, and we fucked at a party again after she told me she dumped him.”

“You don’t need to tell me this.”

“Oh, but I do.” Jungkook chuckles bitterly. “Colton’s always been jealous of me, and when I told him what happened he just got mad, and refused to listen to me.”

You get why – whoever that girl was, Colton probably had feelings for her. And it sucks to see someone you like getting it on with one of your friends.

Jungkook’s gaze moves from yours to the door of the gym, and you look behind you to see Colton walking out. He notices the two of you, and you think you see him rolling his eyes in the distance.

“Let’s go home,” you tell Jungkook, walking around him to reach his car. 

Jungkook doesn’t move for a few seconds, but then he does, unlocking the doors as he makes his way to the driver’s side. You get in, and the engine purrs to life as Jungkook turns the key in the ignition.

There are a few seconds of silence as he adjusts the warmth, and then he looks at you.

“I wouldn’t have slept with her if they were still together,” he says.

His big eyes hold so much innocence that you immediately believe him. You don’t know if you should, if you’ve just been ensnared, the prey to the spider, but you’re in too deep him.

You’re already in too fucking deep.

“I know, Jungkook,” you reassure him. “Don’t let this dude get to your head.”

You see his Adam’s apple bobbing once, and then he nods and faces forward, getting ready to drive. You can’t divert your gaze from his profile, and you find yourself gulping.

You really are in too deep.

*****

Turns out that letting Jungkook stay for your get-together was a good idea. Indeed, he’s cooked noodles for everyone, and your friends have been eating, praising Jungkook for his skills. He only shrugged his shoulders, as if to say it’s nothing, but you know he likes the praise.

It shows in the way his eyes swim with stars, so far from the shadows that invaded his gaze earlier at the gym. 

And you’ve been trying not to think about it too much. Not to think that whenever Ria looks in his direction, you feel something ugly twisting in your chest. So far, Jungkook hasn’t given her any attention, but you know her – she doesn’t stop until she gets what she wants.

Tonight, what she wants is Jeon Jungkook. 

You’re not the only one who’s been monitoring the two – Seokjin, with his quiet and calm presence, has been looking at your friend ever since everyone got to your apartment. You think you see his disappointment as Ria barely speaks to him, though you don’t know him well enough to tell.

Jungkook turns out to be a good barman as well. He takes everyone’s order when you finish eating, and then he heads to the kitchen to make every drink. Ria follows him, and you clench your jaw, though Hoseok immediately follows as well, offering you a wink.

You’re lucky you have him. Otherwise, tonight would surely go to shit real quick.

“Didn’t know your roommate was so chill,” Yoongi says from where he’s sitting on the couch. 

You’re currently sitting on the floor next to Nabi, with Namjoon on the other side of her. They’ve been conversing just them two for a while, but Yoongi’s statement attracts their attention.

“I mean, with the reputation that he has…” Namjoon trails off.

You cock an eyebrow, indignant. “What’s wrong with his reputation?”

Nabi turns to you, eyes going wide, while Seokjin’s lips spread into a small smile. Yoongi snorts, though you keep the eyebrow cocked, meeting Namjoon’s gaze.

“I mean, isn’t he the guy that’s fucked most of the campus?” Namjoon asks, sounding far too innocent.

“What’s wrong with it?” you challenge. “Wouldn’t you fuck the whole campus if you could?”

Namjoon looks scared now. His gaze falls to Nabi, who shrugs and meets your eyes again. “Why are you so pressed?” she asks, though her lips spread into a smile. “Is it because of the Incident?”

You roll your eyes, though a smile tugs at the corner of your lips. “It’s not.”

“The Incident?” Yoongi chimes in.

You send a warning glare towards Nabi, before saying, “Nothing.”

“What’s nothing?” Jungkook’s familiar voice says as he walks back from the kitchen.

He’s holding two gin and tonics, and he offers the first one to you, before handing the other to Seokjin. Everyone stays suspiciously silent as Jungkook walks back to where you’re sitting, before plopping down on the floor next to you.

Nabi loses it. She bursts out laughing, and your cheeks burn as you punch her in the shoulder.

“Ow!” she shrieks.

Hoseok and Ria walk out of the kitchen then. Hoseok has two beers – one for himself and one for Namjoon – while Ria carries a cranberry vodka for herself and a whiskey on ice for Yoongi. You see the slight frown on her face as she notices Jungkook next to you. It’s only there for a fraction of a second, and then her gaze slides to you, an eyebrow cocking.

When a small, knowing smirk grows on her lips, you feel like disappearing through the floor.

After that, conversations start around you once more, as Ria sits on the couch between Yoongi and Seokjin, and Hoseok sits in front of you, on the other side of the coffee table. Jungkook leans closer to you, trying to catch your gaze, and you turn your head towards him.

“What?” you ask.

“Do you like your drink?”

He’s cute like this. Big eyes awaiting your answer as if it’s the most important thing he’ll hear all night, tongue toying with his piercings anxiously. The glint in his eyes resembles a star, and for a moment you bask in its glow.

Until you snap back to reality when he slowly frowns.

“Is it bad?” he asks.

“No!” you quickly say. “Not at all. I like it.” You make a show of taking a big sip, and though it’s stronger than your usual, you still offer him a small nod. “See, it’s delicious.”

His lips curve upwards. “Good.”

You smile softly, your eyes falling to his empty hands in his lap. The tattoos on the back of his right hand are stark on his skin, and your eyes slowly trail up his arm up to where the ink disappears in the sleeve of his oversized white t-shirt. He’s smirking by the time you meet his gaze again, and you gulp, eyes falling to your drink as if searching for a safe haven.

“You’re not drinking?” you ask.

“Never two nights in a row,” he replies.

You don’t buy his act at all, as you’ve seen him drinking more than two days in a row a lot of times already.

“Bullshit,” you call him out.

He narrows his gaze. “What do you mean, bullshit?”

“You drink all the time,” you state.

Though as you say it you remember the parties when you’ve seen him as the designated driver. It makes you furrow your brows, right as he says, “I’ve been trying to drink less. Besides, I work tomorrow.”

“Oh,” you let out.

He’s about to say something else when Hoseok, beaming with mischief, says, “Should we play Truth or Dare?”

A chorus of yes and nos answers, until Nabi says. “We should just play Spin the Bottle. Truth or Dare is for kids.”

“Hey, Truth or Dare is fun,” Hoseok says, pouting, his eyebrows almost touching over his eyes.

Nabi winks at him, especially as her suggestion ends up winning, and Yoongi and Hoseok clear the coffee table and move it to the side so that you can all sit in a big circle on the floor.

“Younger should spin first!” Ria suggests, knowing fully well that she is the youngest. 

You all agree, and she reaches for Namjoon’s empty beer bottle that was put on the floor between you all. She grabs it by the body, then looks at everyone, gaze shining with amusement. 

“Who wants to kiss me?” she teases.

You wonder if you’re the only one who notices Seokjin’s cheek turning pink as Nabi bursts, “Me!”

As everyone laughs, and Seokjin catches up with a small chuckle, Ria finally spins the bottle. You watch as it spins once, twice, thrice, slowing down on the fourth spin until it fully comes to a stop, facing Hoseok. 

“Well, I guess it’ll be you, Hoba,” Ria says, shrugging her shoulders, and then she kneels so that she can reach Hoseok across the circle.

He grabs her by the cheeks, and he lands a big peck on her slightly parted lips. Both of them didn’t close their eyes for the kiss, and they start laughing awkwardly as Ria sits back.

Yoongi’s cool smile tells you everything you need to know, and you hold in the knowing smirk that wants to split across your features.

Hoseok spins the bottle, and it turns for longer than it did with Ria. It stops on Seokjin, who lets out a startled sound as Hoseok turns towards him, grabbing his cheeks.

“Come here, Jinnie!” Hoseok exclaims.

Seokjin lets out a disgruntled sound, which quickly turns disgusted as Hoseok kisses him, with a lot more lips than he did with Ria. It earns a lot of laughs, especially as Seokjin repeatedly wipes his mouth, using the sleeve of his shirt as a napkin.

“Why was that so wet?” he complains, but ever so the good player, he still spins the bottle.

It turns and turns, a never-ending dance until friction finally slows it down.

You purse your lips when it lands on you, and you look up to meet Seokjin’s gaze. 

“Well, well, well,” you let out.

“I’d much rather kiss you than him,” Seokjin grumbles as he leans across the space.

“What do you mean, he’s a good kisser,” you tease, and Hoseok beams as Ria and Nabi let out a prolonged “Ew!” at the reference to the fact that you and Hoseok used to sleep together.

Though they don’t know that you’ve stopped, and that Hoseok is dating Yoongi now. Not that you’ll be the one to tell them.

You lean forward, meeting Seokjin in the space over the bottle. Right before your lips press on his plump ones, you turn towards Ria. To your surprise, she isn’t looking at you – her eyes are on Jungkook, and the knowing smile from earlier comes back in full force.

It’s too late for you to look behind you, and your eyes flutter shut as Seokjin’s lips find yours. They are soft, warm, and his kiss is gentle, as if he doesn’t want to scare you away. If it wasn’t for the fact that Jungkook is here, you think you’d indulge, but you immediately pull away, sitting back next to your brother’s best friend.

Next to the man with whom you’ve been pretending you haven’t fucked like animals just a few weeks ago.

Unable to resist, you glance at him. He is frowning, though he quickly hides behind an easy smile. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and for a moment you want to scream at him that he’s stupid, that he shouldn’t care, that you need to pretend… but you resist.

Not because you’re surrounded by your friends, no. Because you want him to want you – you want to be the moon he chases at night, and you don’t know what to make of it.

You look away from him, reaching in the middle of the circle to the glass bottle awaiting your spin. Seokjin nods encouragingly, and you spin the bottle…

Only to have it end on Seokjin again.

“Bruh,” Nabi lets out. “I want to kiss people too.”

This time, you don’t miss the muscle ticking in Ria’s eyebrows. So you offer her a wink as you lean towards Seokjin, who meets you with a smile on his lips.

You make to pull away again, but Seokjin grabs your cheeks, holding you in place as he deepens the kiss. Your body immediately reacts – heart racing in your chest, blood pumping in your ears. Your friends cheer as Seokjin’s tongue teases your bottom lip, and then he lets you go, sitting back in his spot while you stay still for a few seconds, eyes fluttering open to meet his.

He’s not looking at you. Instead, his eyes are on Ria, who’s looking down at her drink.

So he’s trying to make her jealous… You slowly nod your head, before sitting back in your spot. Jungkook shifts next to you, and his knee brushes against the side of your thigh.

You shoot him a look, and he offers you a tight-lipped smile, before settling his attention on Seokjin as he spins the bottle again. This time, it lands on Yoongi, and they exchange a small peck, though Seokjin fake-gags through it all. 

“What’s wrong with kissing the homies?” Hoseok teases him, elbowing him in the ribs.

“Nothing,” Seokjin grumbles. “I love you guys, but I’d rather not kiss my friends.”

“You seemed to like kissing Y/n, though,” Ria says, an innocent look on her face that you know she’s faking.

You snort, hiding it behind a long sip of your drink, as everyone watches Seokjin as he looks at Ria, gaze wide, trying to find something to say but clearly coming up short with ideas. 

Silence stretches, growing awkward, until Seokjin says, “I’d kiss you like that too.”

Both Nabi and Hoseok let out a long “Oh!” though Nabi immediately follows hers with, “Then kiss her.”

Seokjin flushes fully red, and Ria grins, cocking her head to the side. 

“I’m game unless you’re too shy,” she says, voice a little sultry.

Seokjin seems afraid now. He looks around the group, as if searching for salvation, but everyone is just looking on with expectation lighting up their gazes.

“Well…” Seokjin lets out, and he gulps. “Hopefully we’ll spin the bottle on each other.”

“Come on, bro,” Jungkook interjects. “Don’t tell me you need that to kiss her?”

Before Seokjin has time to say anything else, Ria grabs his face from where she’s sitting next to him, and she pulls him into a languid kiss that, despite his shy demeanour, he reciprocates right away. People cheer, and you smile widely, your eyes turning to Jungkook amidst the chaos ensuing. 

He’s already looking at you. His eyes dip down to your lips as if he’s considering kissing you right then and there as well, but he glances away, sucking on his piercings. Though the interaction might have passed as nothing to an outside gaze, you feel your blood boiling in your veins, far more than when Seokjin kissed you earlier.

Because no one other than Jungkook can have that effect on you.

When Ria and Seokjin finally pull away, Yoongi hesitantly reaches for the bottle, making a joke that everyone laughs at except you, as you’re still reeling from the way Jungkook looked at you. The bottle spins, and it stops on Nabi, who beams.

“Finally,” she jokes.

The peck she exchanges with Yoongi is cold, that of two friends more than anything, and then Nabi is spinning the bottle as well.

You don’t miss the way her gaze slides sideways to Namjoon. You also don’t miss the way Namjoon slightly leans into her – what you do miss is the bottle as it stops.

Pointing towards Jungkook.

“Oh,” Nabi lets out, and she turns red.

Jungkook, suddenly the picture-perfect arrogant asshole that you know him to be, says, “Don’t sound too disappointed, I’ve been told I’m a good kisser.”

Nabi chuckles awkwardly, and she meets Namjoon’s gaze. He motions towards Jungkook with his beer, as if to encourage her, and she nods once before leaning towards Jungkook.

They kiss right in front of you, and you feel the blood leaving your face as Jungkook has the nerve to tease her mouth with his tongue. As she has the nerve to let him in, their tongues meeting for a few seconds before Jungkook pulls away. He winks at her, smiling triumphantly, and she sits back, face so red she’d put a tomato to shame.

Jungkook slides his gaze to you, winking at you next, before leaning towards you. And though he has to be aware that everyone is carefully watching you, he says in your ear, “Had to make you jealous too.”

Yep. The arrogant asshole.

You push him, rolling your eyes. “Fuck off,” you grumble, and you meet Ria’s gaze as she looks at you way too excitedly for your own sake.

He laughs it off, sitting back in his spot, and then he grabs the bottle spinning it. Whether he meant it or not, it spins twice before stopping, and you stare down the neck of the bottle as it points towards you.

You think Ria is about to leap up, screaming, ‘I knew it!’ Especially as you just keep on staring at the neck of the bottle, refusing to turn your face towards Jungkook. You see his smirk in the periphery of your vision. See the way he wets his lips, far too ready to kiss you dumb like only he knows how to do.

“What are you waiting for?” Nabi asks from beside you, nudging you with an elbow.

You take a deep breath, chuckling. “Let’s pray Taehyung never learns about this,” you say, referencing everything that your friends don’t know, and then you turn towards Jungkook.

Your comment has made him pensive. He’s lost the smirk, and his eyes scan your face, lingering on your lips for far longer than necessary. It makes you blush, makes you feel vulnerable and naked, and you try to find a spark of defiance in you.

All you find is his gravity, and you lean towards him.

He meets you halfway – with none of the fire he had for your friend. Instead, his soft, pink lips move against yours, slowly, and your eyes flutter shut as you instinctively cup his cheek. It feels like time stretches, endlessly. Your mouths dance together, like suddenly eternity found you in its hold. 

When Jungkook’s tongue teases your bottom lip, you let him in, circling it with your own tongue. You hear the cheers now – they’re distant, like they are on the other side of a veil, in an entirely different universe. You ignore them, focusing on the man next to you, kissing you.

You feel Jungkook’s hand as it finds your thigh. He holds you, thumb digging slightly into your skin, and memories of your bodies entwined flash behind your eyelids. So much so that you sigh in the kiss, rhythm suddenly accelerating. It grows frantic, though still just as languid. For a moment, you’d wish for your friends to disappear, to leave you alone with Jungkook but…

“Damn, get a room!” Ria yells, then bursts out laughing with the rest of the friend group. 

You startle, pulling away from Jungkook. Your gazes meet, both wide as if scared, as if you just crossed a line. Though you reckon you’ve crossed the line a while ago already.

You can’t focus on the game after that. You spin and kiss Ria, who then kisses Yoongi. You lose track after that, and thankfully the bottle doesn’t point towards you or Jungkook again. All you can do as your friends exchange kisses and saliva is try to tame your wild heart, but it’s started a race you are bound to lose – a race to the man by your side.

You wonder how Jungkook is feeling. If he, too, feels deeply affected by that kiss. If it rendered his mind a blank canvas like yours, erasing thoughts and memories, leaving just him, him, him.

You’re going insane. You’re going insane for someone you can’t have, for someone who you told to never kiss you again, not even twenty-four hours ago. But his lips and his tongue are drugs you’re starting to like too much – they are an addiction waiting to ensnare you in its web.

You only come back to your senses when, bored, your friends decide to stop the game in favour of watching some dumb movie and making a drinking game out of it. You participate in the drinking game, hoping that it will numb the beating of your heart, but it does little to no good.

Perhaps because Jungkook sits next to you, and you’re all too aware of every spot where your bodies touch. And you wonder – in a universe where he isn’t your brother’s best friend, would you be leaning in his side? Would you let yourself be ensnared, even though his reputation follows him like smoke follows the fire?

You think about what Colton said. You think about Shelly, and about all the other girls Jungkook has had under him. It finally douses the beating of your heart, fire returning to a slumbering ocean, and you feel like you can breathe for the first time since the bottle landed on you and he kissed you.

The second movie the group decided to watch after that drinking game is almost over. Ria fell asleep with her head on Seokjin’s shoulder, who sits with a straight-back, his cheeks turning pink when you notice their position. Hoseok and Yoongi sit next to each other on the couch – pinkies subtly linked, which brings a soft smile to your lips. Jungkook is next to you, though his deep breathing and soft snores tell you enough about what state he currently is in.

You don’t know how you missed it. But Namjoon and Nabi aren’t in the living room anymore. You wonder where they went off to, and the answer comes by itself as they walk back in, clothes wrinkled and hair undone, both of them sporting small, satisfied smiles.

You can’t resist. You pull your phone out, heading to the group chat you have with Ria and Nabi.

[2:43 am] You: I hope you guys didn’t fuck in my bed

You snort to yourself before turning off your phone, and the movie comes to an end a few minutes later, rousing those that had fallen asleep. Jungkook offers you a sleepy smile, and your heart skips a beat. So you look away, think about Colton and Shelly, and the emotion passes.

“I guess we should be going,” Hoseok says as everyone stretches.

Everyone agrees with that statement, and you walk your friends to the door. You make round eyes at Nabi, motioning towards Namjoon, and the shade of red she turns to is enough to let you know that she and Namjoon really did it. You stifle your laugh as you hug her, and then Ria comes to you, resting her head on your shoulder.

“I’m so tired,” she whines. “Can I sleep over?”

You don’t know why. But your eyes go to Jungkook, who’s watching the interaction unfold from where he’s leaning against the wall. Your throat goes dry, and you look away from him, telling your friend, “Nabi will get you home.”

Nabi nods, “Come, baby. Your bed awaits you.”

Ria grumbles, but she follows Nabi, and slowly everyone filters out of your apartment.

Everyone but you and the guy you’re starting to think you should maybe avoid.

“So,” Jungkook lets out, and he laughs lightly. “Tonight was fun. I didn’t know your friends were so chill.”

You lean against the door. The cold from outside lingers, but the way Jungkook is looking at you is warm, hot.

“They are,” you reply.

“I should hang with you guys more often.”

You gulp as he tilts his head to the side, toying with his piercings. “What would Taehyung say?” you ask.

“Who cares what Taehyung says? I’m allowed to have other friends.”

“Right.”

Jungkook’s tongue pokes at his cheek and then he sighs. “Are you upset about the kiss?”

You shake your head no, shrugging your shoulders. “It was just for the game.” 

Though, was it really just for the game?

“Right,” he echoes. He changes tactics, chuckling lightly. “Your friend Ria wants me. She told me while we were in the kitchen.”

“I think you lost your spot to Jin,” you quickly reply, and he doesn’t miss the undertone of jealousy in your voice.

“You didn’t look like you liked me kissing Nabi.”

“You didn’t look like you liked me kissing Jin.”

He wets his lips. “Oh, peach. I loved watching you kiss him, looking all guilty after.” Another chuckle. “You think you can fool me?”

“You’re an asshole.” You don’t mean the insult. Or maybe you do. Maybe some part of you thinks about Taehyung, about what Colton has said. Because you want him to be an asshole – a red flag, so easily avoidable. You want him to be easily pushed away, like the emotions you thought you pushed away earlier.

Though maybe you’ve just been fooling yourself.

You don’t want Jungkook taking a step towards you, stopping where he’s now standing a couple of steps in front of you. You don’t want the conflict unfolding in his big, doe eyes. You don’t want any of it. You just want peace, you want to protect a heart that’s barely healed from Sam Hwang’s passage in your life. 

You want peace so much that you walk closer to him as well, stopping close enough that you have to tilt your head back to look up at him.

“I’m an asshole?” Jungkook repeats, making it sound like a question.

You nod. “Yeah. Because we shouldn’t kiss again. Because you said that it meant nothing, that we have to pretend nothing happened.”

He’s so still in front of you you’d imagine he was turned to stone.

But yes, here’s why your heart has been going crazy. You’re trying to blame it on Colton, on Taehyung and on everybody else. But the fault has always been Jungkook’s. The fault was the way he made you feel, and how just a day later he decided that it wasn’t enough, that it wasn’t what he wanted. Though maybe that was you, and your constant fear of Taehyung learning about you and Jungkook despite the ocean between you.

“But it meant nothing, right?” Jungkook challenges, dark eyes searching for the truth in yours. “Is that why I haven’t been able to fuck anyone else since then?”

Your mind empties out.

“Jungkook…”

“Is that why I kind of want to just say fuck it and tell your brother?” His hand reaches between you, and he runs a hesitant finger on your jawline. “Is that why we’re oh so pretending that nothing happened when you’re the only thing I look at when we’re in the same room?”

“You wanted this,” you remind him.

“You wanted Taehyung to never know, peach,” he counters. “I’ve been wanting you since the first time I saw you.”

You don’t know what to make of this revelation. You don’t even know if you believe him, or if Jungkook is just too good at spinning words into beautiful lies countless hearts have wanted to believe in, only to end up broken. 

You do want to believe him. You do want to believe that every time he’s called you peach, he meant something more. That that first kiss in the kitchen, during a power outage that’s brought you far too close for comfort, meant something to him the way that it meant something to you as well.

“Then why the fuck do I still see you flirting left and right?” you ask.

His jaw clenches. “This is about what Colton said, isn’t it?”

It is, and it isn’t. “Jungkook, I saw you at that bar. I saw you tonight with Ria. It is what you are.”

“What I am?” he repeats, chuckling bitterly. “Is your opinion really so low of me, peach?” He leans towards you, and you tilt your head to the side, letting him run his soft lips up the side of your neck.��

Your breath hitches in your throat. “I’ve heard you fucking girls in this apartment.”

“And I’ve heard you touching yourself at the same time,” Jungkook whispers right in the shell of your ear. “I’ve heard you and that Hobi dude too.”

His hand finds your waist, and he holds you in place as you say, “I think we never should have fucked.”

He leans his forehead against yours. “Why?”

You offer him the truth, in all its vulnerability. 

“Because there is no going back now.”

He laughs, yet it sounds void of joy. “And is that a bad thing?”

“You will just hurt me.”

“Not planning on it.”

You wonder if his heart is beating just as loudly as yours, or if this is just an act to him. It’s hard to tell, and your soul vibrates on a frequency you can’t ignore anymore. It takes everything in you and builds you anew, destroys all the restraints you’ve been trying to have in order to protect yourself.

The spider caught you in its web, and you have no escaping now.

“You can’t say that,” you whisper, eyes fluttering shut as he finds the other side of your waist, and he pulls you closer.

“Why do you want to believe the worst of me so bad?”

Because you’ve never given me a reason to believe otherwise, you want to reply, but you can’t bring yourself to say it. Not when his thumbs are tracing idle shapes on your waist, speaking in a language you think your body already knows.

“Because it’s the only way that I don’t end up getting hurt,” you whisper in a voice smaller than the atoms holding you together. “When you believe the worst of people, they never disappoint you.”

Jungkook moves one of his hands to your back, and then it glides up until he’s lost it in the hair at the back of your head. “But if you don’t risk anything, you don’t get anything,” he says.

He’s right, and you almost purr as he gently massages your scalp. “I risked once, and it wasn’t worth it.”

“That asshole didn’t know how to handle you, peach,” Jungkook affirms, softly. “And trust me when I say this – he will regret it later.”

Sam Hwang comes to the forefront of your mind. You remember the summer, remember the easy smiles and the dancing and the driving with the windows down. You remember it all, and then you remember the date yesterday, and the way the dream he’d once been had curdled like milk left outside of the refrigerator for too long. 

Sam was poison shaped like the prettiest flower. His lies were your undoing – has Jungkook ever lied to you?

You don’t think he has. He’s always been crudely honest, playful in his arrogance. But he’s never once lied to you, or at least you want to believe so.

“And do you know?” you ask, murmuring the words so close to his lips you feel them move when his mouth slightly falls open.

Time stops, the whole entire world holding its breath. Your arms are around his neck now – you don’t remember moving at all – and you tighten your hold, just a little bit. As if you think he’ll walk away now, flick your nose and tell you that this is all just a joke.

That he’s played your heart better than anyone before, and that you can laugh about it now.

“Let me show you,” he answers instead, and you think you hear thunder in the distance.

Or maybe that’s your heart, as Jungkook ravishes your lips in a languid kiss that makes you melt into his touch. His large hand finds the small of your back, pushing you into his strong body. You mold yourself to him, arch your back as his feathery soft lips move against yours, his piercings pushing into your lower lips.

He tastes like addiction, like you’ll never be able to kiss someone else. And right now, you don’t think you’ll ever want to. Because you’ve never been kissed the way that Jungkook kisses you. Like he’s branding himself on you, burning his name in your heart so that his flames will keep you warm, always.

He turns you around, pushing you into the wall. A second later he makes you jump so that he can wrap your legs against his waist, and though his lips have momentarily disconnected from yours, he’s quick to kiss you again, to push his tongue in your mouth. You suck on it, and he retaliates by grinding into you.

He’s already hard. He’s already fucking hard and you’ll go insane.

“Jungkook,” you breathe the second he pulls away from your mouth to leave a trail of wet kisses down your neck. He stops at the neckline of your shirt, lips ghosting as he moves back up.

“Do you know how mad you made me when you said you wanted to keep things between us?” he whispers, and he teases your earlobe with his teeth. “When you said that Taehyung doesn’t need to know everything?”

Your head is too clouded with thoughts of him, of what you know is about to happen, so you barely remember. You thought he was the one who wanted to pretend like nothing happened, but then again, he did say that that was you.

You’re confused, and you don’t have time to revisit the past before he sucks on the skin of your neck, hard enough to leave a hickey behind. You run your hands through his hair, and pull at the longer strands on top until his mouth finds yours again.

“I’ll tell him,” Jungkook adds when he pulls away from the kiss. “I don’t care what he says, I’ve been wanting you so bad.”

“Kook…” you trail off, and he grinds into you, before pulling away from the wall to carry you towards his room.

“I’m serious,” he says in your ear, and he does sound more serious than he’s ever been with you. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

You nuzzle your face in his neck, peck the mole you find there. “Can we just figure shit out between us before we tell him?”

You think you feel Jungkook stiffen, but it might just be because one of his hands let go of you so that he can open the door to his room.

“Sure,” Jungkook whispers. “Just let me know when I should speak to him and I will.”

You appreciate it, but you reckon you should be the one to break the news to your brother. You have a lot more chance to be able to handle the tantrum he’ll likely throw, but you don’t want to think about that right now.

You just want to think about Jungkook, about the way he’s gently putting you down on the edge of his bed, amidst the mess of blankets.

And then he’s taking off his shirt, throwing it to the side, and your mind eddies out.

He’s beautiful. You’ve known this, you’ve seen him before, but there’s something about him that’s different right now. Maybe it’s the neon light coming from the street outside. Or maybe it’s just because the fear that’s been plaguing you finally disappeared, and the relief of knowing he wants you too overpowers everything, painting him with all the beauty he beholds.

And he beholds far too much for your frail heart to endure. Yet you still gaze at him, admire all the strong planes of his body as he fishes his cell phone from the pocket of his pants to turn on the LED lights in his room. They shine red, and he winks at you before strutting to the window so that he can pull the curtains shut.

“Red lights?” you tease.

“It’s to set the ambiance,” he says confidently as he walks back towards you.

“You’re an idiot.” It’s said affectionately, with a twinkle in your eyes that you know he doesn’t miss. Because he grins, that bunny grin that does funny things to your insides, and then he stops in front of you.

He drops on his knees, his hands spreading your legs. You widen your gaze, but he’s already bending down, pressing a kiss to your clothed pussy.

“You’ll come on my tongue, mmh?”

Cheeks burning, all you can do is nod your head.

“Good girl.”

Jungkook makes quick work of getting you out of your pants, but he leaves your underwear on. He watches the wet spot where you’ve already soaked through, smirk curving the corner of his lips.

“Gosh, look at you,” he says. “You’re already so ready.”

He pushes your thong to the side so that he can see your glistening pussy. You know you’re wet – you feel your juices dripping out of you, and it only increases when Jungkook leans in, turning his head at the last second to kiss the inside of your thigh instead.

“What do you want?” he asks.

“Huh?” is all you’re able to let out.

He laughs, and he grins up at you. “You’re adorable.” He kisses your thigh again, and then his lips ghost on your clit. You try to move your thighs, but he’s firmly holding you against the bed, refraining any motion from you. “What do you want?” he repeats.

This time, you were ready for the question. “Your mouth,” you breathe out.

He hums, looking up at you through half-lidded eyes. “Where?”

“Eat me out,” you say.

“That’s what you want?”

You nod.

“Then that’s what you’ll get.”

And then his lips close around your clit and he sucks hard, tongue flicking at the sensitive bundle of nerves. You immediately grip at his hair, moaning softly, your eyes shutting as he moves from your clit to your entrance. His tongue pushes in, laps your juices, and all you can do is pull at his hair, as if that will keep you grounded.

As if you’re not already floating towards the ceiling.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you curse.

“You like that?” he queries against your pussy, the movement of his lips making you shiver.

“Yes.”

He sucks on your clit again, eyes shutting in concentration as he switches to drawing circles around it, sending bolts of lightning up your spine. You moan, and you feel him smirk against you as he keeps going. As one of his hands hesitantly leaves your thigh to slide between your legs. 

He teases your entrance with a finger, circling it in time with his ministrations on your clit. The breathy sound you let out is interrupted by a louder moan as his finger slips inside, immediately curving to find the right spot inside of you.

Jungkook shifts, pushing your leg on his shoulder so that he can reach around your frame, his hand resting on your belly. He pushes just enough for you to know that he wants you to lie down, and then he holds you there, the new angle making you see stars.

“How can you-“ It breaks into a moan. “Be so good?” you conclude.

Jungkook laughs, pulling away to meet your gaze. “I’ve seen how you touch yourself,” he reminds you. “I’m just trying to reproduce what you did.”

Which makes no sense because he barely saw anything, but you’re too blissed out to question him. You just take the pleasure in, feeling it rise like the crescendo of a song. 

You’ll come. It only grows more evident when Jungkook pushes a second finger in, and he fucks you like that, relentlessly. His tongue on your clit draws expert figures, and he mixes it with just enough sucking for you to not fall into oversensitive land. No, he keeps you at the edge, pushing you towards your orgasm so quickly you think you’ll explode.

And you do. The second you climax you let out a broken moan, your thighs closing around his face. That doesn’t deter him, and he milks your orgasm out of you, letting you crash into walls and walls of it, until you feel like you’re not even in your body anymore.

Only then does Jungkook sit back on his heels, your juice dripping from his chin. He doesn’t dry it yet – instead he climbs on top of you, pressing a wet kiss to your lips that tastes of you. And the kiss is savage, wild, with his tongue in your mouth and your hands pulling at his hair.

He grunts, pulling away from your mouth to leave a trail of wet kisses on your neck as your hands move to his back, where you leave scratches behind.

“Fuck,” he groans. “Do that when I’m fucking you and you’ll make me come in no time.”

“Then take off your clothes,” you say through the haze. “I want you to fuck me.”

He obeys, standing up to take off his pants and boxers. His dick springs free, proud and tall, precum on the tip that looks far too inviting. So you sit up, hand grabbing the base of his cock, and Jungkook stills as you take him in your mouth, looking up at him.

His precum tastes salty on your tongue, and you lick him all clean before pulling away, jerking him off slowly. 

“Sorry,” you apologize. “I couldn’t help myself.”

He grabs your cheeks, bending down so that he can steal another languid kiss on your lips.

“Don’t apologize, peach,” he says as he straightens. “I’ve wanted to know what your mouth feels like on my dick for a really long time.”

So you dive in, wrapping your lips around his dick to suck on his tip. He bucks his hips, pushing deeper, and you hold the gag reflex in as he hits the back of your throat, immediately pulling out.

“Sorry.”

“For what?” you ask, and the line of drool that connected his dick to your mouth breaks.

“I didn’t mean to fuck your mouth,” he explains.

“What if I want you to?”

He just looks down at you with so much lust in his eyes that you think you’ll drown in it. To your dismay, he says, “Not tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ll come before I can fuck your tight pussy if I fuck your mouth right now.”

Yet he doesn’t move right away, so you keep jerking him off, licking at his slit. “Do you always come so easily when you fuck girls?”

He doesn’t like what you say. Indeed, he pulls on your hair, forcing you to tilt your head back as he bends down. 

“Open your mouth,” he orders.

You obey, far too pliable, and Jungkook spits in your mouth.

It takes you aback, but he doesn’t let you think about it before he pushes your head closer to his dick. 

“Now you can suck my dick.”

You glance up at him as he lets go of your hair, gently brushing it as if to make sure he didn’t hurt you.

“Damn, Jungkook,” you let out.

He freezes, his lustful gaze turning apologetic. “Oh… wait, I’m sorry if-“

“No,” you interrupt. “That was hot.”

“Are you sure?”

Without breaking eye contact, you swirl your tongue around the tip of his dick, mixing his drool with yours that was already there. “Yes.”

And then you unleash yourself, taking as much of him in your mouth as you can. You hollow your cheeks, swallow around him, and then pull away so that you can lick from between his balls up to the tip of his cock. You apply pressure to his frenulum, teasing it for a little longer, and then you circle the head of his dick again, sucking on it.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses.

And he keeps on cursing as you keep going, the taste of his precum far too inebriating. You want more of it, you want all of it, and you give it to him, show him just how much you’ve wanted him too. Just how much you’ve always found him hot, how much you’ve always dreamed of choking on his dick when he bucks his hips again, and this time the gag reflex makes you choke.

You pull away with drool on your chin, teary-eyed as you look up at him.

“Listen,” he says. “If you keep going, I’ll come. I’m down if you are, but I really, really want to fuck you.”

“Put a condom on your fucking dick, JK,” you tell him. “I want you.”

You don’t have to say it twice. Jungkook walks to his nightstand, fishing a condom out of the drawer. He’s quick to rip the tinfoil package, pulling the condom out so that he can wrap it on his cock. You watch from where you’ve lied back down on the bed, fingers mindlessly drawing circles on your clit after you’ve taken your panties off.

“You’re so fucking desperate for me, peach,” Jungkook purrs. “You really are just a dirty slut for me.”

And then he’s climbing on the bed, pulling you up. He rids you of your shirt, and he curses under his breath at the sight of your lace bralette. 

“You’re keeping this on,” he says, and you nod as he pushes you back down on the bed so that he can climb on top of you. “Stop me if it’s too much, okay?”

You blink once, not sure you heard right, and Jungkook bends to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You weren’t expecting it, and your heart melts in your chest, even as his tip nudges your entrance.

“You sure you want me?” he asks. “We can stop-“

“Jungkook, fuck me before I go insane.”

He smirks, and he pushes in unforgivingly, slamming his dick in to the hilt. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as your mouth falls open, though no sound escapes your lips. Jungkook grunts, and his dick twitches inside of you, bringing back stars to your vision.

“How can you be so fucking tight?” he asks. “Am I not turning you on?”

“Oh, you are.” You shudder in delight at the feel of him inside of you.

He pulls almost all the way back, and then snaps his hips forward again. “You better not be fucking anyone else,” he says. “Your pussy is mine.”

A part of you wants to say your pussy is no one’s but yours, but Jungkook immediately starts pounding into you, so hard his headboard hits the wall repeatedly. Once, you would have been on the other side of the wall, thinking about him fucking some girl, but now he’s fucking you.

Now he’s fucking you, his large dick dragging on your walls so perfectly you understand his reputation. He’s good, far too good, and you know he’ll easily be able to get you to come again. Especially as he bends forward to hit a better angle, and your hands find his thighs so that you can mark him there.

“Peach,” he moans, and you’re surprised to hear the nickname in the heat of the action, yet it makes so much sense.

It makes so much sense for you and Jeon Jungkook, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You feel so good,” you cry out, and Jungkook slows down so that he can lower himself on top of you, his forearms framing your face.

He pecks your lips. “It’s because you take me so well.”

You moan as he increases his pace once more, jackhammering into you. It hurts a little, but there’s something so sinful about the feeling of his dick hitting your cervix that all you can do is beg for more, even though he’s already pounding into you.

He doesn’t disappoint, clearly understanding what you want. Indeed, Jungkook pulls out, flips you over, settling himself between your legs so that he can hit it from the back. He raises your hips, just enough so that he can align himself with your entrance, and then he’s fucking you again, the new angle so good your orgasm approaches you at light speed.

“I’ll come,” you warn him in a high-pitched sound.

“Yeah?” he grunts, and all you do is moan his name in reply, right as he reaches in front of you, fingers skillfully aiming for your clit.

The second he’s pressing circles on your clit you climax, vision turning fully white as he slows down inside of you, giving you a respite so that he can milk your orgasm out of you.

“That’s it, peach,” he says, voice so low it’s almost a growl. “You’re such a good fucking girl for me.”

The words barely register, yet they make your head swim with ecstasy, swim with desire for the man behind you, on top of you. And once he’s sure to have milked your orgasm, Jungkook resumes his unforgiving speed, and his headboard bangs in the wall so loud you wonder if it’ll break.

Jungkook breaks first, bending down as his high hits, and he grunts and moans, his dick twitching inside of you. You wrap one hand around his forearm closest to your face, your walls fluttering around his dick as he shakes, spurting his cum into the condom.

He comes for a long time, but eventually his high recedes, and all that’s left to be heard in the room is your heavy breathing mingling with his. He’s wet on top of you, his body covered in a sheen of sweat, yet you don’t want him to move. 

You feel safe here, under him. Like his large frame will keep all atrocities of the world away from you.

Jungkook takes a deep breath and presses a kiss on your cheek. A tired smile grows on your lips, and it only gets bigger when he does it again, his lips lingering on your skin.

“That felt good?” he asks against you.

“Mmh,” you let out. 

“Good.” He pauses, pressing another kiss on your cheek before straightening, returning to his previous kneeling position. He massages your ass, and you almost purr from how good it feels. His softening dick falls out of you, and you look at him over your shoulder.

He’s dishevelled, sinfully so. The top of his chest is red, and wet strands of hair cling to his forehead. Yet he’s more beautiful than you’ve ever seen him, and it makes your heart flutter in your ribcage.

“You look good,” you tell him, even though you didn’t mean to say the words aloud.

He takes it in stride, a grin growing on his lips. “Thanks peach.” And then his gaze falls to your ass, and he playfully slaps it. “So do you.”

You snort, rolling on your back as he moves off from on top of you. He discards the condom, tying a knot in it before throwing it in the trash can, and you watch as he carefully cleans himself with some tissues. You should probably do the same thing, but all you can do is watch, feeling content in the swimming bliss, in the red light and Jungkook’s company.

“Do you want to take a shower?” he asks.

You hum, nodding lazily. “I should.”

“I’ll come with you,” he offers, hand extended towards you.

You can’t say no, so you take a shower with him, revelling in the feel of his large hands as he washes your back. You offer him the same treatment, and he teases you about it, yet it’s lacking its usual bite. His tone only holds endearment now, and maybe that’s why you don’t get angry.

Maybe that’s why you both are a giggling and blushing mess when you step out of the shower, and he wraps you in a towel before grabbing one for himself. He dries his hair first, and then wraps the towel around his waist, uncaring that he’s dripping water all over the floor. It’s usually something that drives you crazy, but right now you really can’t bring yourself to care.

Instead, you brush your teeth beside him, shrieking when he pokes your ribs.

“Jungkook!”

He laughs. “Sorry.”

He doesn’t look apologetic at all, and so you narrow your gaze at him, before spitting the toothpaste in the sink, letting the water carry it away.

“I’ll get my revenge someday,” you warn him.

“I’m terrified,” he teases, and you roll your eyes as you put the toothbrush away, leaving him alone in the bathroom. He’s quick to follow behind you as you aim for your room.

You’re not surprised when he follows you in, looking far too at ease in your space.

“What are you doing?” you ask him.

“Aren’t we sleeping together?”

You widen your gaze, letting out a small laugh. “You want to share a bed?”

He frowns, lips jutting out in a small pout. “Yeah?”

“You’re simping.”

His mouth falls open, and then he laughs, though it’s short-lived. His eyes darken, and he steps closer to you, one large hand wrapping around your throat. You gulp, and he tightens his grip, bending down so that he can steal a languid kiss on your lips. He tastes of mint, and you let out a breathy sound as he deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue in your mouth.

“Then I’ll let you sleep alone, peach,” he says when he pulls away, his hand falling to his side.

He’s already in the hallway when you call behind him, “Wait!”

Jungkook stops, but he doesn’t turn to look at you. So you walk over to him, pulling on his arm.

“Stay?”

He slides his gaze to you, a smirk adorning his lips. “Look who’s simping now?”

You clench your jaw, yet all he does is flick your nose as he moves back into your room, plopping down on your bed.

“My mattress is more comfortable,” he comments.

You glare at him, though your expression softens when his eyes shift from the ceiling to you. 

“Then do you want to sleep in your bed?”

“With you?” he asks. As you nod yes, he adds, “Absolutely.”

And that is how you find yourself in Jungkook’s bed, his inked arm wrapped around you as he holds you close to his chest. He turned off the LED lights, and his breathing is steady and deep behind you.

Your thoughts slide to Taehyung. To how he’d react if he saw you and Jungkook right now, all cuddled up in his best friend’s bed. You wonder, would he kill Jungkook or you first?

You reckon that that will be a bridge you’ll cross when you get to it. You don’t want to ruin what you might now have with Jungkook, not when getting to where you are tonight was such a hassle already. 

A hassle, yes, but worth every step of the way. If only for Jungkook to tighten his arm around you, pressing a kiss on the back of your head.

“I’ve been thinking,” he whispers.

“Yeah?” you let out as he doesn’t say anything else for a few seconds.

“Now I’ll allow you to call me crazy,” he adds, and you laugh, turning in his hold so that you can face him. His features are barely visible in the dim light filtering from behind the curtains, yet you’re pretty sure his eyes are soft as they meet yours. “But I want to go to New York with you.”

Your brows furrow. “To New York?” you press.

“My brother has an engagement party next weekend, and I’ve been dreading going.”

Now you’d say your heart just dropped to your ass because, is he really asking you to meet his family?

“You want me to go with you to your brother’s engagement party?” you let out.

He chuckles. “Yes.”

“But we’re not…” you trail off.

You’re not delusional enough to believe you’re suddenly dating Jeon Jungkook. Just because you both admitted your attraction to the other doesn’t mean that you have to dive head first into a relationship… right?

“No, we’re not,” he says as if sensing your unease. “My family sucks and I just… I’ve been dreading going, but I thought that it could be fun with you.”

You feel bad for him, for that vulnerable mention of his family, but you don’t want to push, so you say, “And what will you tell your family that I am?”

“Would you mind pretending to be my girlfriend?” he suggests. “Just for the weekend, so that you don’t get any wrong ideas.”

You roll your eyes, and he laughs, having probably seen the gesture. “What do I get in return?” you ask.

“My undying love and gratitude?” he teases, his bunny grin on display.

“Are you saying you love me, Jeon Jungkook?”

The silence is a little too long for comfort, and your heart races in your chest, awaiting his answer. Yet he only shrugs his shoulders, before saying, “You wish. So, is that a yes or a no?”

“It’s from next Friday to Sunday?” you enquire. 

He nods, and you truly take the time to ponder. Because you don’t know if it’s a good idea. If it means just getting attached more when one day this is all bound to go up in flames. 

Or maybe it won’t. Maybe Taehyung won’t be the overbearing asshole that you’ve known him to be your whole life, and maybe he’ll let you do whatever it is that you have to do with Jeon Jungkook. Maybe he’ll let you live what you have to live with Jungkook…

But then you think about Colton, you think about Lisa, about Shelly, Jungkook’s reputation once more haunting you. You’re not delusional enough to think you’ll be the one to change him.

Yet a weekend away, just the two of you… It sounds like heaven, though you’re aware it might just be hell disguised as a beautiful memory that will taunt you somewhere along the line.

College is meant to experience things though, right?

So you find yourself asking, “At what time do we leave?”

Prev | Chapter 7.5 | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

gosh where are these two headed :') next chapter is v special to me and i'm really excited for you guys to read! But first, let me know what you thought of this chapter? did we like it?<3

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[thestarrynightslover]

Discreet Not Detached

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1,397

Warnings: None, really.

Summary: Mike goes to Harvey's apartment to deliver some files only to be proved wrong about his boss being a lonely workaholic.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: My first Harvey fic in a while, I had the idea based on an episode (I don't remember exactly which) and tried to elucidate to it here. Anyways, I hope it doesn’t suck and feedback is appreciated as usual!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

Another day in the office, another drama for Harvey Specter: this time it was his associate, Mike Ross, wanting to tell his girlfriend the whole truth about the terms of his employment and Harvey couldn’t let him do it, for obvious reasons. But, as you’d expect, namecallings happened and it all ended with Mike throwing in Harvey’s face his being an alleged workaholic in lack of a personal 一 and, in this case, love 一 life. Emphasis on alleged, cause what Mike didn’t know was that his boss actually did have someone to go home to…

It had been a long day but at least you got to go home to your excentric puddle of comfort of a boyfriend: New York City’s best closer, Harvey Specter. Once you got to your place, where the two of you lived together, you were welcomed with the smell and the view of a freshly cooked dinner that Harvey probably had someone making for the two of you.

As you started taking off your coat and shoes by the door, Harvey came out of your shared bedroom wearing nothing but sweatpants and looking like he’d just taken a shower. “Oh, hey, honey!” He greeted you with a smile on his face. “Sorry I didn’t wait for you to shower but I mingled too much with people of dubious hygiene today, so I kinda really needed to get clean.”

“Ah, that’s okay,” you said while pouting cutely at the same time. “At least dinner is ready, 'cause I am starving!”

“Ha! You say it like it’s cutting-edge news!” He tells you, as he puts on a shirt 一 much to your disappointment. 

“What is that supposed to mean?!” You ask feigning offense while putting away your bag, shoes, and coat.

“It means that you’re always starving, sweetheart,” Harvey answers nonchalantly like it’s nothing.

“That is not true! Or at least it’s not entirely true: I’m always starving if it’s past mealtime and I haven’t eaten!”

“Sure, whatever you say, baby!” He says it already knowing that your hunger and all the pet names will only soften you.

“You know what? After today I don’t even have the energy to bicker with you…”

“That bad, huh?”

“The ED was a complete chaos today, apparently all hospitals were swamped, which is why they called more surgeons downstairs to help out. I’ve been on my feet the entire day! I’m basically dead.”

“Dramatic… But I’m sorry you had a shitty day, baby.” He said coming to hug you from behind in your bathroom. Looking at your reflex in the mirror 一 both of you, together like that 一 filled your heart with love and your mind with peace. Harvey was definitely your happy place.

Some time later, after you’d had your dinner, gotten ready for bed, and watched a sappy rom-com you chose, you and Harvey were already cuddling, almost asleep when you heard insistent knocking on the door.

“Stay here, honey, I’ll go see what that’s all about.” You sorta heard Harvey say to you as you lost your personal space heater.

Out in the living, Harvey opened the door only to find his associate Mike Ross standing there looking all tired and disheveled. Before his boss could even say anything, he went ahead entering the apartment mumbling about the case they were currently addressing in the office.

“Harvey, you’re not gonna believe what I found about our not-so-innocent school teacher!” He said to the older man with such energy that sounded like he had had a few too many energetics.

“What the hell, Mike?! Why are you showing up on my doorstep this late at night?”

“Because I knew you’d wanna see this as soon as possible, besides, it’s not like you’d have anything important going here, would you?” Mike asked sorta mocking Harvey.

Ignoring his employee’s last comment, he took the papers Mike was offering and said: “This better be good, Ross, otherwise you’re gonna meet a whole different side of me.

As Harvey started reading all the documents, Mike started having a look around, cause when would he have another chance at taking a peek at his boss’s house like that again? And he couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing, he would definitely be making a few thousand jokes about it in the near future: there was a romance novel lying on the table, one of those with drawings on the cover that were becoming so popular then.

“Oh my God, Harvey, when were you gonna tell me about your love for reading?” He asked while pointing at the book with his head. 

As Harvey’s eyes emerged from the papers in his hands with a confused look to them, Mike continued: “You know you could have told me, in fact after seeing the kinda genre you like I might actually ask for some recommendations, you know, to get my grandmother a few as presents.” The younger man said already starting to laugh loudly.

“That’s not mine…” Harvey began to answer with his mind still on the documents at hand.

“Oh no? You know there’s no need to lie to me, I promise I’ll try not to judge!”

“Funny. But that’s actually-”

“Mine!” You said as you came out of the bedroom wearing nothing but one of Harvey’s expensive dress shirts. “I don’t think we’ve met yet!” You exclaimed, already extending your hand to shake Mike’s. “I’m (y/n), Harvey’s girlfriend.”

“Girl- g- girlfriend?” Mike looked so shocked he almost choked on his laughter.

“Yes, but it’s doctor (y/l/n) for you.” He answered instinctively moving to your side. “What are you doing out of bed, sweetheart?”

“Sweetheart?” Mike murmured to himself in disbelief of the version of Harvey he was seeing, especially after their argument in the office and the things he’d said to Harvey.

“Well, I assumed it was something work-related when I noticed how long it was taking you to come back and came to drag you back to bed!” You announced to your boyfriend entangling your bodies with certain disregard for the other man standing there in shock.

Only then did Mike notice a framed picture on the sideboard behind him and it displayed both you and Harvey looking at each other with love in your eyes as he carried you bridal style into the water on a beach. Which was another surprise to the young attorney since he didn’t even know that Harvey was a fan of beaches.

“So you’re the famous Mike Ross, then?” You asked, catching his attention again. “You know, it’s very rare for someone to impress Mr. Specter here like you did!”

“Oh, honey, don’t do that, or he’ll spend an entire month finding new ways to subtly bring up in every conversation-”

“Oh, there won’t be anything subtle about it, Mr. Specter,” Mike said mockingly, finally coming out of the shock he had been on. “But I’m curious now, how long have you two been together?”

“About three years, isn’t it, babe?” You answered quickly not paying any mind to the mockery on Mike’s voice.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Wow, I never would’ve guessed it. Harvey never talks about you. Like ever.” Mike impolitely announced. “I mean, I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend and it’s been months since we started working together.”

“Well, that sounds about right since we don’t like to display our personal lives at work.” You said nonchalantly.

“But do Jessica and Donna know?”

“Of course they do. Must I remind you that you’re not a Donna or a Jessica, Mike?”

“Ouch. But do Lewis and Rachel know?”

“No, and no. And as interesting as your findings were, it’s time for you to leave. We’ll talk more about it tomorrow at the office.”

“But-”

“Mike. Now!”

“Oh, Harvey, don’t be like that.” 

“He needs to go now and we need to go back to bed, so bye, Mike!” Harvey said while shoving Mike out the door.

And after he was gone, just like in the picture, Harvey picked you up from the floor and started carrying you back to the bedroom.

“Harvey!” You squealed out. But he didn’t mind it as he tossed you on the bed, got on top of you, and started kissing you. Apparently, Mike’s visit had put him in a good mood. And, apparently, it was going to be a long night.                                                                 

[neobubz]

Hunter (M) - Prey Sequel

this is the sequel to my story prey (m) if you haven’t read that please stop and go read that one first before continuing. for those who have, thanks for taking a look at the sequel! i truly hope you enjoy this wicked little story. this is of course like the other one going to jump back and forth between time frames so please be aware of that. once again, i hope you enjoy and i hope to see you in my future stories 💜

Word Count: approx. 26.7k

Paining: fem reader x jaemin feat. jeno and haechan

Warning(s): time jumping (past and present will be divided by a header don’t worry), mature audiences only, explicit language, crime drama, crime solving, psychological thriller, house fire, very slow burn, storytelling, m*rder, spouts of anger (ch*king), sex, smut, abusive relationship, a long ass story ^^

Disclaimer: though it doesn't need to be said, this is just a story. i do not know any of the parties involved, don't take this sh*t seriously. also, as i am not one familiar with crime/court proceedings/durations of time involving solving a crime/police business some of this information (if this is your job) will be wrong. i tried my best with the dozens of crime dramas i watch XP

Preview:

“Depends on what you tell me here.”

“Do they really think that I would do something as deliberate as to set my home on fire with my child and I barely escaping it unscathed?! What kind of lunacy are they snorting down at your precinct?!”

“I know you would do anything to protect your kid. We all know that but my boss doesn't. So I need you to tell me EVERYTHING. The events leading up to the fire and what happened afterwards. I need to know it all and DO NOT leave anything out.”

Gulping your head slowly turns to Haechan. “Exactly how much of everything do you need to know?”

Holding up his work phone he shows you the voice recording app. Turning your head away he says, “everything.” 

ⓗ ⓤ ⓝ ⓣ ⓔ ⓡ

Staring blankly ahead of you not even bothered by the flashing red and blue lights you watch as men and women bolt towards a fiery beast. This couldn’t be…this wasn’t supposed to happen. And yet it was…

One by one they line up and spray water on this creature trying to tame it — an opening is created and another group rushes inside their silhouettes getting lost in the smoke that pours out of every opening. They were looking for any survivors, or rather one survivor.

Glued tightly in your arms your sons’ whales bring you back to him. Your white button down shirt soaked through from his tears. Wrapping him tighter in your arms you shield him away from the unfortunate event befalling your family. His face buried in your chest he repeats ‘mommy…mommy…mommy…’

If it wasn’t from the shock of everything you  know tears would cascade down your cheeks uncontrollably as are his. Nothing went the way it should have today... There shouldn't have been an accident … this wasn’t supposed to happen… 

The brave souls who tried to tame the beast run away coughing and falling to the ground. Their teammates rush to pull them away before they’re snatched by the beasts’ flames. Inside was far too hot for anyone to withstand for long periods of time. A man giving orders tries to get his team to spray water straight ahead to allow yet another team to enter, but just as a new round of men and women prepare to go inside another massive explosion sends those closest flying back and all others to duck.

Your sons’ cries become louder. Turning away tears finally fall onto the top of your son's head. Your home, the place you’ve lived together with your child for the past seven years, gone. All the memories of his first moments…destroyed. 

“Ma’am… Ma’am!!!” A voice says next to you. “MA’AM!!!!!” They scream startling you. A woman dressed in a paramedics uniform holds her hands out in front of you. “Ma’am, I’m sorry that I startled you but I need to check you and your son for injuries.” She says calmly.

“W-We-We’re fine…” you say but your voice cracks.

“I need to make sure, please,” she gestures to an ambulance that sits a few feet away from where you’re standing.

Looking down at your son, you see a few scratches on his cheek. “O-Okay…”

Leading you away from the firefighters who are desperately trying to get the raging fire under control, you and your son are placed inside the ambulance while two paramedics look both of you over for any type of injury. Your mind drifts away from what the female paramedic is doing, eyes laser focused on the entrance to your home. Your jaw tightens as bile threatens to erupt from within you. You jackass…why did you let this happen?!

“Ma’am,” the female paramedic calls you to attention. “You have a pretty nasty burn on your arm. I don’t think it’s severe but you should still get it looked at.”

Glancing down at your fiery skin you turn to where your son is being fully examined inside of the ambulance. “And my son?” 

“He’s alright ma’am,” the other paramedic smiles happily. “Isn’t that right buddy?” He asks your son who doesn’t speak.

“I’m sorry,” your voice comes out weak and tired. “He’s a little shy around strangers.”

“There’s no need to apologize. What the two of you went through – ” the male paramedic stops speaking, his head lowering to the floor of the ambulance.

“My daddy…Where’s my daddy?”

You freeze at the word daddy. Turning to the paramedics they both give each other unreadable looks.

“Ummm, we’ll go and find out right now. Don’t worry little man,” the male paramedic says before hoping out of the ambulance. “We’ll be right back.” He nods down at you.

Watching them like a hawk they walk over to who you assume is the fire chief. He at first waves them off aggressively. His eyes cold as ice. He appeared to not want to be bothered as he focuses on keeping his team safe. The paramedics, however, don’t leave. Instead the male paramedic steps forward whispering something in the fire chiefs’ ears. Immediately, his head turns to you. The coldness in his eyes vanishes the moment his fall to yours. Instead his eyes show sadness or pity — you can’t quite tell at this distance. Turning back rather rigidly he says something before waving the paramedics off. Moments later both of the paramedics start their trek back to you and your son, but as they get closer there is an eeriness surrounding them.

“The fire chief said he’ll be over to talk to you personally in just a minute. They’re still trying to get everything under control. Also, there were a few firefighters inside when the explosion happened so —” the female paramedic starts. 

“Th-There are people inside?!” You interject. 

“Don’t worry ma’am, he said that they are the best of the best. They’re okay and looking for a safe way out. So it’s best to focus on yourself and your son right now, okay?”

“When will they get out? They need to get out before another explosion happens! Good lord!!!” You start crying uncontrollably. “How in the world did this happen?”

“Mom…my…” your son whispers beside you before clambering in your arms again, “don’t worry… daddy will be okay…” he tries to soothe you but your tears come out faster than before.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Standing before you gleaming from ear to ear is the man who has single-handedly fucked up your entire world. His brown hair slicked back, eyes sparkling with promise and unfortunately, admiration – he wears a black suit jacket, white button shirt, black tie and black trousers. You, a white wedding dress…

How did this happen? How could your life get twist turned upside down like this? Just a year ago you were in your own apartment climbing up the corporate ladder and now you’re about to get…

“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” The judge asks you.

Lawfully, the small sliver of who you once were snickers at the word. If only the judge before you knew what hell you’ve been through. If she knew what this piece of shit did she would arrest him on the spot and open up a whole investigation! 

Taking in a deep inhale, you close your eyes savoring the last moments of your freedom.

If only she knew… if only you could tell her, to give her a hint that the union she was about to officiate is a fraud, but you can’t…

Gripping your hands tightly the man you’re supposed to be in love with smiles his repulsive cheshire-like smile as he awaits to hear those faithful words ‘I do.’ Exhaling once more you do what’s best for you and your child that is currently kicking up a storm inside of you. Either telling you to marry the ass hat in front of you or trying to knock some sense into you and blurt out what you desperately want to say to everyone around. 

“I do.” You speak but your voice is broken and flat. 

You fall prey to the pressure of what would happen if you did reveal everything. The twisted web of lies this snake may whisper to others — it was too much of a risk. You can’t risk anything, not in your current state. 

“Well, if there are no objections,” the judge pauses for a second.

Objections? Why would there be any objections? This fox waited for the perfect opportunity to have this sham of a wedding. Your parents who are currently in a luxurious cabin in their mountain getaway for the next four days – that was so lovingly paid for by the demon in front of you. This little trip is sadly your own dumbass fault. You foolishly let it slip one night that your parents like to travel and remember why they decided to spend the rest of their lives together – away from you, away from distractions, where they can be with each other and remember all the years filled with memories. And of course, the devil used this information against you…

“No objections here!” Your mom shouts a glass of wine in hand via zoom call.

Glancing to the people around you, a group of men whom you’ve never seen before, your actual witnesses to this horrible union — all eyes are bright and happy for the two of you, all except one. Their eyes pierce through your soul as if they can read every thought, every movement of your body. Quickly, before he notices something he shouldn’t, you avert your eyes and focus instead on the hem of your dress as the judge looks around and gives everyone a chance to speak up.

“Well, if there are no objections, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!”

As if you were in some twisted romance movie, Jaemin eagerly leans in. His hands cupping your cheeks ever so gently, he places his lips against yours. His lips are glossy and soft while your painted red lips are stiff as a board. Like hell you were going to kiss him! You played your part. You weren’t going to give him anything more than the bare minimum. But that didn’t stop him at all. His one hand, closest to the judge, drops to your waist as he pulls you to him. The room erupts with cheers and applause from his guests and your parents. Tears prickle at your waterline, the last hope of freedom leaving you as your tears fall to the floor. 

“Congratulations!” Your parents shout.

Putting on your mask you smile gleefully at the screen. “Thank you mom and dad,” your lips quiver for a second. “S-Sorry you couldn’t be here.”

“We are too!” Your mom wipes her eyes. “We need to get together the moment we’re back in town.”

“Of course! A celebratory dinner,” Jaemin wraps his arm around your waist. “Plus, I know my beloved wife will want to talk to her mom about the nursery.”

“Ahhh!!! I can’t wait to get back! We’ll go shopping and help you two set everything up, won’t we honey?” She turns to your dad.

“Of course! Cheers my boy! May nothing but blessings fall upon you both.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Your parents end the zoom call by stating they’ll call later but to enjoy the rest of the day and have fun. As your parents say their goodbyes, Jaemin's guests swarm the two of you. 

“Dude! You did it!”

“Didn’t think you’d be the one to marry first but congrats!” 

“How does your mom feel about this one?” Another glances at you. “On second thought, fuck’em, you’re gorgeous!” He swoops down giving you a hug. “Welcome to the family!” 

“Hey! Hands off my wife,” Jaemin jokes.

“Hands off his wife and future baby,” a soft voice catches your attention. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Jeno.”

“Baby!” Jaemin wraps his arm around Jeno’s shoulders, a huge smile on his face, the same smile that captivated you when you first saw it. “This is my best friend, Jeno! Jeno, this is my beautiful wife! Told you she was gorgeous!”

Nodding and smiling Jeno keeps his lips pressed together tightly before speaking. “You did, you did.”

“Come on! We need to celebrate!” Getting behind you a shorter and rather petite young man smiles sweetly. “I’m Renjun, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Now, I know this is going to seem weird but I need to put this blindfold on you.”

“N-No!!!” You squeak and try to move away but strong arms keep you from going anywhere.

“It’s okay.” Jeno chuckles. “Just a small, very small party we put together to surprise you guys. I promise nothing will happen. See,” he gestures with his chin towards Jaemin who is already blindfolded. “Everything’s fine. I promise.”

As you look into Jeno’s eyes your rapidly beating heart starts to calm down. There’s something about his gaze that makes it seem like it’s okay to believe him. That it’s okay to put your faith and trust in him. Then again, you fell for that trap before too.

“I can put it on myself.” You state bluntly.

“Independent woman, I like her already. Hey toots! The names Haechan! How this guy ended up with a beauty like you is beyond me, but once you’re done with him come and find me!” He winks.

“Really, Haechan? They just got married!” Shoving him aside a rather nervous yet charming man reaches out his hand. “I’m Mark.”

Shaking his hand you then slide the blindfold over your eyes. Hands grip your shoulders as a soft and soothing voice fills your head. 

“The rest of the introductions will have to wait, but if you’ll just keep your hand in mine I’ll safely lead you out to the car.” Jeno whispers. 

“Why exactly do we need the blindfolds again? Isn’t the party at our house?” Jaemin chuckles.

“Who said it was at your house?” Haechan’s voice booms next to you. “Renjun, Mark, get Chatty Cathy out of here. Jeno and I will handle his beloved bride.”

“Princess!!! Don’t worry you’re in safe hands!” Jaemin shouts his voice getting farther away as he continues to speak. “Haechan don’t you dare touch her or this nice judge will have to charge me for murder!”

Giggling behind you the judge speaks up. “Have a wonderful day you two and congratulations!!! But please, no murdering anyone!!!!”

Strong hands intertwine with yours, their hand warm and comforting. “Okay, start walking forward.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Through a crowd of first responders you hear your name. Turning to the voice you see Jeno thrashing his way through trying to get to you and your son.

"Jeno..." you whisper. "JE-JENO!!!!" You scream for him to find where you are.

“Will you move?!" He shouts at a few firefighters. "I know the people of this home! Move!!!" With one final shove he bursts through the barricade they tried to make and sprints to you. Engulfing you in his arms he holds you tightly. “Are you okay? When I saw the news I came right away.” Pulling back just enough to inspect you, he cups your face in his hands. “What the hell happened? Did you get hurt? What did they say?" He checks your face for any injuries.

"Jeno,” you start sniffling. “I don’t… I don’t know what happened. It just…it just…”

Pulling you back to him he holds you in his arms. “Don’t worry, everything's going to be okay now. Is everyone safe?” 

Nodding you step aside so he has a view of his nephew who is still sitting inside of the ambulance. “Little man!"  He shouts, grabbing your sons’ attention. 

“Uncle Jeno,” he starts to cry again. 

“Hey Buddy!” He scoops him up into his arms. Your son’s tears keep pouring down his cheeks just as yours start up again. “There…there…everything's going to be okay."

"Da-Daddy..." he mumbles through his tears. "Daddy was..." he cries more.

Turning slowly to you Jeno’s eyes widen with shock. "Where is Jaemin?"

Covering your mouth you shake your head. "He-He...He…” you can’t bring yourself to utter the words. 

Everything happened so fast. One second the three of you were in the kitchen the next you’re outside with your son taking cover before the house went up in flames. It just doesn’t make any sense…

“Where…is Jaemin?” Jeno asks again.

“He was still inside when the house went up in flames,” you start choking on your tears.

"Mommy got hurt," your son points to your arm. "She saved me!"

Staring down at your arm, Jeno’s grip on your son tightens. "Of course she would," he smiles at him. "She would do anything to make sure you're safe."

"Is that so?" A gruff voice pulls everyone’s attention. "Would you do anything?"

Immediately getting in front of you, Jeno blocks you from this stranger's view. "Who are you?!" He demands.

"I believe I'm the one who should be asking all the questions. I'm the one who will be overseeing this investigation."

"Investigation..." Jeno mumbles. "Wait, this is just a house fire, shouldn't the fire chief be in charge?"

"It would have just been a house fire but now we're investigating a possible homicide."

"HOMICIDE?!" You and Jeno shout.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Your hand grazes over the pictures that were taken from your wedding reception. The smiling faces of Jaemin's friends who have strangely become quite important people in your life since that day. Renjun and Haechan bickering after Haechan shoved some of your wedding cake on his face. A slight smile tugs at the corner of your mouth at the hilarious memory. Those two are like Tom and Jerry, constantly doing things to piss the other off but at the end of the day would feel incomplete if the other weren’t around. 

Then, there is Mark, Chenle, and Jisung smiling sweetly for the camera, but the best part of the picture are Chenle's fingers behind Mark and Jisung's heads while he smiles extra bright for the picture. The little sneak thinking that he would get away with giving them bunny ears – he would have too if Jaemin hadn’t sent everyone copies of the pictures. 

When the guys came over for a meal that’s when the arguing began between those three ensued, thank goodness when you brought out the food they forgot what they were fighting about — making the rest of the evening quite pleasant. 

Finally, your hand stops at a picture of yourself, Jaemin and Jeno. This one being your husband's favorite picture… You can hear his voice ringing in your ears when he printed out the picture,

'My two favorite people in the world... We should frame this one, don't you think?'

After the fake wedding and reception and when all his friends left to go back to their homes the mask you were wearing shattered. You didn’t have to pretend anymore to be happy about what was supposed to be the best day of your life. You could let your sorrow show and make sure the man that has single handedly ruined your life know exactly how you felt. Which meant going back to avoiding him every chance you got. There was no talking, no listening, and no doing anything that he requested you to do. The only thing you did was sit on the window seat staring out at the world that is no longer your oyster. This wasn't a marriage, this was a life sentence.

Slamming the album closed you place it back on the bookshelf next to all the other fake memories he's created to fit his twisted fantasy. The only memories that are real are the moments with your son. Everything surrounding the child you fortunately, yet unfortunately share with him are the realist moments between the two of you.

Opening up the album specified for your first pregnancy, you stare at a picture of the two of you from your first doctor's appointment, the memory playing out in front of you as if you were watching a movie. Jaemin couldn’t stop fidgeting despite the fact he knew you were pregnant before the doctor confirmed it. Whether his fidgety behavior was due to the anticipation of you blurting out that you’re being held against your will, or because he was truly excited to hear if your symptoms were in fact true that the two of you would become parents — you still don’t know to this day, but shockingly his behavior must have been normal for first time dad’s because it sure didn’t flag as unusual to the doctor or nurse. 

Turning the page you push down the memory of wanting to shout to the doctor, to the people in the waiting room that you were a victim of the man sitting next to you. Deep down you were desperately screaming for help, for someone to call the cops but from the moment he approached you at the last gate and told you that you were pregnant you lost the will to fight. The only will you have left in you is to make sure that your son has a happy life and knows NOTHING of what befell you. 

Looking down at the next picture you gently giggle at your first ultrasound photo. That day Jaemin said your son looked like a little lima bean. Strangely, it was a sweet moment. His eyes were glued to the monitor as a trickle of sweat dripped down the side of his face. He was always nervous when it came to your checkups. It was as if he was waiting for someone to pull the rug from underneath him. But the moment the nurse found the tiny little bean shaped baby growing inside of you, his shoulders slumped down and his body relaxed. 

He earnestly asked if you guys can have a photo and turned to you smiling brightly. As if this picture would cure all diseases, as if the child inside of you would solve all the world’s problems — he grabbed your hand gently, pulling it up to his lips where he gave your knuckles a kiss.

‘Thank you.’ He whispered. 

‘For what?’ You asked. 

‘Thank you for making me a father. I swear I will do everything in my power to ensure that you and our baby are safe. I promise.’ 

And you knew he meant every word…

After your son’s first ultrasound there are plenty of photos of your growing belly. Jaemin becoming quite thrilled watching the growth of you and your son. At first it was a little weird to you. You didn’t like seeing how big your stomach was getting and the small stretch marks that started to appear, despite rubbing cocoa butter on your stomach every day. But Jaemin being Jaemin reassured you every day…

‘Princess, you’re not fat, okay? You look amazing!’ He says holding up the camera. 

‘I told you I don’t want to take any more pictures.’

‘Don’t you want our son to see these when he’s older? To know that he has the best mother in the world?! To know that she took the best care of herself as well as him?’

‘Yeah, like a picture is going to show all of that,’ you roll your eyes. 

‘Please, just one more?’

‘Fine. Take it.’

In hindsight these pictures are some of the ones you treasure the most. Knowing the best gift you could ever receive in your life was with you – growing with you day by day, both of you getting stronger helped to heal some of the wounds you’ve suffered. 

But nothing will ever top the moment that both Jaemin and yourself saw your son’s face for the first time with the three-dimensional imaging. This was the moment where you knew everything was real! That this was happening! That you were about to be a mom! And Jaemin's words after seeing your son's face for the first time darn near broke you...

'You did it,' he whispers next to you. 'Look at him... he's gorgeous... great job, mom.'

Those words of validation for some strange reason had your heart and mind playing games with you. The Jaemin you first met was in that room with you, looking at the beautiful life you both created, together. His eyes glistening with tears despite his lips trying to hold back the proudest smile the world has ever seen. At that moment, you had the Na Jaemin back...

But those moments didn't last. The moment you left your appointment realization came crashing down. This isn't real. These moments are fabricated to fit one person's psychotic fantasy. Even the child that grows within you was not created out of love, but out of survival. Those weeks where you submitted to him while you painstakingly planned your escape, only for this gift and curse to keep you tethered to him.

"You know it doesn't have to be this way, right?" An all too familiar voice whispers behind you. "We can make this work between us. For the baby at the very least," his arms wrap around your waist pulling you to his chest. 

The numbing sensation you’ve grown accustomed to starts to slither up your body. It starts from your toes to your ankles, sinking deeper and deeper into your flesh. These past couple of months since the wedding you’ve learned a new skill — how to completely shut down any and all feelings. Letting whoever has control do whatever they please. 

"I've asked for your forgiveness so many times. I've been on my hands and knees for you. I've bowed my head on the ground before you. Yet you haven't forgiven me..."

But just like the venomous beast he is, Jaemin finds a crack in this new skill of yours. Bursting through like a bull he shatters everything before facing the one emotion that is always below the surface, rage. 

"Do you really think you deserve forgiveness, Jaemin? What if the roles were reversed? What if I bowed my head to you? If I begged and pleaded for you to forgive me after kidnapping you and gas lighting everyone in your life for my own fucked up fantasy, would you forgive me? Would you forgive me if I had forcefully rode your dick to kingdom come until I ended up pregnant further linking us together? Knowing full well no matter where you go in this world there will always be a part of me attached to you!! Would you still forgive me?!" You shout, your eyes and fists clenching.

Squeezing you tighter in his embrace, his forehead falls to the top of your head. "No.” He whispers. 

Startled, your body freezes up. Did he… wait, he didn’t just say, “no?” You ask.

“No. I wouldn’t be able to forgive you. I’m not going to pretend that I would. I won’t and I can’t lie to you like that. What I did was,” he pauses sighing, once again his arms wrapping tighter around you. “Is, wrong. The past few months since you’ve started to ignore my existence I’ve done a lot of thinking.

“I was scared that you were going to leave me. I was scared that the one source of happiness I found on this earth was going to disappear. Logically, I know if it was meant to be we could have made it work, but I had never fallen so fast and hard for someone in my life. In fact, I’ve tried to avoid falling in love completely.

“I can say that it was because of my parents, I can say that it’s because of crappy exes who didn’t care about me but about the money my family has, but that’s not the complete truth. When I lost my grandmother a piece of me broke that day. She was the only person who saw me. She was the only person to look me in my eyes and see Jaemin, not Na Jaemin, the son of a multimillionaire, the one to take over the company one day.

“She just saw me, her grandson. When you came into my life and we started talking, it was like I was seen,” he sniffles. “Someone was finally looking at me for me.”

“And you’re telling me your friends don’t see you for you?”

“They see me as the kid who’s from a rich family. Plus, it’s not like they aren’t from well off families either.”

“You’ve doubted their loyalty?”

“Never.”

“Then you trust them and accept that they see you for you.”

“Only one person.”

“Jeno?” You inquire.

Nodding he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, his arms loosening for his hands to rest on your round belly. “Please…tell me what I can do. Tell me what I can do to start over. To show you the kind of man I truly am…please..."

"Confess."

His body stiffens behind you. His heart pounding against your back. Closing your eyes you wait for any type of reaction from him. Whether it be anger, tears, or worse…

“Confess?” He asks, but his voice sounds distant.

“Yes. Confess all of your crimes towards me.”

Instead of answering you, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him. His breath hot on your neck, you pray that he won’t do anything drastic. “I…I need help…” He chokes back a few tears. “Please, I need help… don’t make me… I’m sorry…”

“You need more than help, Jaemin. You kidnapped me, locked me in that room, and had me play that fucked up game for lord knows how long! You need to pay for your crimes!”

Jaemin buries his face into the crook of your neck. “Aren’t I paying for them already? You don’t talk to me. You won’t even look at me! You barely let me touch you. The only time you show an ounce of your true self is when we’re at your doctor's appointments. That’s it…”

“And how exactly am I supposed to act? Do you want me to put on a mask and pretend like I’m happy that my life was uprooted? That I barely get to see my family, oh, and the only time I do is when I’m around you? Come on, Jaemin…”

“Fine…” he sniffs and tears himself away from you. “Just… just let me at least be here when the baby is born, okay? After that…” he takes a deep yet shaky inhale. “I’ll confess to everything, okay? I’ll turn myself in.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“There we go, all better!” The nurse says as she finishes bandaging your right forearm. “Now, you’re going to need to avoid getting your arm wet for a while until it heals properly,” she starts.

“How long exactly?” You inquire.

“Well we’ll schedule you for an appointment in about a week at the wound center. There is a hospital across the river that specializes in the treatment of wounds and Dr. Andrews, the one who came in and initially inspected your arm,” you nod. “Well, he’s the head doctor there so he will be checking on your healing progress. He said that you’re very lucky and it’s not a serious burn, but to be safe for the next seven days if you can avoid getting water on your arm it would be for the best.”

“Wh-What about bathing? And my son, I need to give him baths!”

“I wouldn’t mind volunteering,” a snarky voice startles both you and the nurse. “That is if you don’t mind disrobing in front of me.”

Exhaling deeply you let out a loud groan. “What are you doing here, Haechan?”

“Jeno called us,” he steps forward. “Now, now, don’t look so miserable. You’ll break my heart.”

“He called you and you decided to sprint over here? How nice of you.” You spat.

“Look, I was just joking about the bathing thing. My sister can help you with that if you want,” he shoves his hands in his pocket shrugging. “As for the little guy, aren’t you staying with Jeno?”

“Yes…”

“Well, there you go. Plus, the little dude is like what 10? He can handle a bath by himself.”

“He’s six and a half,” you growl. 

“Easy now,” he smirks. “I was just playing.”

The nurse's eyes bounce between you and Haechan confused. “Exactly who are you, sir?”

“I’m the guy who’s going to be interviewing her for the homicide of Na Jaemin.” 

“WHAT?!” You scream. 

“Shit woman! Do you have to make my ears bleed?”

“I swear!” You look at the nurse. “I swear I didn’t do anything! Haechan! You jackass! What the hell is going on?!”

“Look,” he holds up hands trying to calm you down. “We both know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt Jaemin, especially not with your son around. The problem is that they found a body in YOUR home where there was a fire and Jaemin is nowhere to be seen. I’m not sure about the condition of the body but it’s already on its way to the coroners. 

“To be frank I shouldn’t even be on this case since I know you, but I can’t let this go to anyone else. Jaemin was my friend and when he married you, you became family to me. Until everything is resolved I’m going to make sure you and your son are safe. So just relax, okay? Tonight I’ll come over and explain everything that’s going to happen to you and Jeno. Call it a courtesy visit because we’re friends.”

“Haechan,” tears form at your waterline. “Please, you have to help me… I didn’t do anything! I swear! I could nev —”

He hushes you with his pointer finger against your lips. “I know and I hate knowing that right now you’re the prime and only suspect.”

“But I…”

“Ma’am, if this is your friend I’m sure he’ll do all that he can to help you. And if you said you had nothing to do with this incident you’ll be fine. The most important thing to focus on right now is healing so you can take care of your son.” The nurse rests a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“She’s right. It’ll be fine and I promise I will find out what happened to Jaemin.”

“Thank you, Haechan…”

“Of course.” His attention goes from you to the nurse, a somber look deep in his eyes. “So, is she able to answer a few questions now?”

“I don’t see why not, but please nothing too stressful. Ever since you showed up her heart rate has acted up,” the nurse teases. 

“I always knew you were into me,” he wiggles his brows and blows you a kiss.

“Go fuck yourself, Haechan.”

“If you don’t mind can we have a little privacy please?”

“Oh, yes.” The nurse nods and leaves. “If you need anything just press the button I gave you.”

“Thank you.”

You watch the nurse leave and close the door behind her leaving you and Haechan alone. Letting out a huge breath Haechan joins you on the bed. 

Looking out the small window in your room you ask the dreaded question. “How bad is it?”

“Depends on what you tell me here.”

“Do they really think that I would do something as deliberate as to set my home on fire with my child and I barely escaping it unscathed?! What kind of lunacy are they snorting down at your precinct?!”

“I know you would do anything to protect your kid. We all know that but my boss doesn't. So I need you to tell me EVERYTHING. The events leading up to the fire and what happened afterwards. I need to know it all and DO NOT leave anything out.”

Gulping your head slowly turns to Haechan. “Exactly how much of everything do you need to know?”

Holding up his work phone he shows you the voice recording app. Turning your head away he says, “everything.” 

“That’s a little personal don’t you think?” Peeking back at him you see him press the button and know there is no way to get out of this. 

“Why don’t we start from the beginning? Actually, none of us know this, but when did you first meet Jaemin?”

You shrug, “almost two years before our son was born.”

“How did you meet him?”

“I got lost while taking a back road and ended up at his grandmother’s estate where he was staying. I had gotten hurt while trudging through the woods near her home and he allowed me to stay until I was better. He even invited my parents over so I wouldn’t miss spending the holidays with them.”

Shocked, Haechan chuckles. “Damn he did all that?”

“Yes it was very nice of him.”

“When did the two of you become official?”

“New Year’s Day.”

“How long did the two of you date before getting engaged?”

Rolling your eyes you start growing irritated. “Are these questions necessary? I mean really?!”

“Yes they are. We need to figure out if you had any reason to harm him.”

Turning away from Haechan you can’t help but remember all those months that you were locked up in that fucked up labyrinth of a home. How Jaemin made you play that perverse game hunting you down like you were a rabbit and he the wolf. Not to mention the use of his pride and joy, Nana… 

Your head springs up. “The dogs!!!!” You scream. “How could I have forgotten?! What the hell is wrong with me?! Where are the dogs? Are they okay?” 

“The two males seemed to have run away because they were located a few miles away in a different neighborhood. They’re safe and currently staying at a shelter until you’re able to care for them.”

“And Nana! What about her?”

Haechan shrugs, “we don’t know what happened to her. No one reported a dog that was found. I’ll check with the fire house, but as of now she may have perished in the fire.”

“She’s…she’s gone?” Tears spring to your eyes.

“I’m sorry, I know how much she meant to everyone.”

“Oh, Nana…” you cover your mouth as tears fall onto your hand. 

Your lips hidden from Haechan lightly tug at the ends. Fighting back the urge to smile, you let the appearance of grief take over your body. That hellish beast will no longer haunt you! She’s gone! Finally out of your life for good! 

It’s terrible to admit that you’re ecstatic she’s gone, but you are. She never got used to you being around. She would snap, bare her teeth, snarl, and bark at you. Not to mention all the times she purposely rushed past you making you lose your balance. The only sad part is that you will need to tell your son that his favorite dog in the whole wide world has passed away. Now that is going to be hard.

“So,” Haechan starts the interview again. “You were going to say how long you dated Jaemin.”

“We dated,” you sniff, “for about seven months and got engaged three months after I found out I was pregnant.”

“After your son was born, how was your marriage to Jaemin?”

“M-My marriage?”

“Yes, how was it being married to Jaemin? Did the two of you fight a lot? How did you manage being a new mom and a wife?”

“I… u-ummm —”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Okay, I’m going to need you to give me one more biiiigggg~ push, okay?” The doctor instructs you.

“I can’t! I can’t do it!” You cry out.

“Princess you need to, okay?” Jaemin holds your hand in his. “You can do this, you can do anything you set your mind to.” He kisses your sweat drenched forehead.

“No! Seriously I can’t!” You start to cry. “It hurts!”

“Sweetheart, just think in one more push you’ll be able to hold your son in your arms. In one more push it’ll all be over,” he lays his head on top of yours. “I can’t imagine how much pain you’re in, but you just squeeze my hand as hard as you need to, okay?”

“Okay!!! On three I’m going to need you to push!” The doctor says enthusiastically.

“I can’t!” You now hold onto Jaemin’s hand with both of yours.

“You can do this!” He kisses your forehead once more.

“One…two…” taking a huge breath in, you brace yourself and squeeze the living daylights out of Jaemin’s hand when the doctor says, “THREE!!!”

“Yahhhhhhh!!!” Both Jaemin and yourself shout for different reasons. 

“We’re almost there just a little more,” the doctor instructs.

“Ahhhh c’mon!!!” You growl.

“You’ve got this princess just one more push!” Jaemin winces when you squeeze his hand again.

“AHHHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!!” You scream.

And after the longest push of your life you hear the first cry of your baby boy. Immediately your body falls back onto the hospital bed, drenched in sweat. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you desperately try to catch your breath. Peeking down at the doctor, Jaemin’s eyes widen when the doctor holds up your baby.

“Princess! Princess!” He wraps his arm around your shoulders. “Look!”

Opening your eyes, you see the most beautiful baby in the world. Bursting into tears, Jaemin holds you close to him repeating ‘you did it! You did it!’ While his tears fall onto your cheeks.  

“Okay, we’re going to cut the umbilical cord now,” the doctor informs the two of you. “So, would you like to do the honors, dad?” 

Jaemin glances down at you. “C-Can I?”

“He’s your son, go ahead.” You reach up a clammy shaky hand and place it gingerly against his cheek.

Giving your wrist a quick kiss, Jaemin rushes over shaking from top to bottom. He’s given a pair of surgical scissors and the doctor tells him where to cut. After he is finished, they quickly take your son over to get a quick checkup, weigh in, and clean up, before he is placed in your arms. 

Consumed by this unspeakable feeling of pure love and adoration you stare at this beautiful baby. Feeling his breathing start to match your own, you wrap your hand gently around his. 

“You’re so beautiful right now,” Jaemin whispers next to you. 

Scoffing, you roll your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m all sweaty, my hair’s a mess and sticking to me, I must look like a mess right now… So, don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying. You’re glowing right now. And I never want to forget this sight for the rest of my life.”

Peeking up at him you gasp at the state Jaemin’s in. Eyes and nose red from the tears he’s fighting hard to hold back, but the smile on his face could make the devil himself change his ways. It’s simply angelic. Then again, the bright ceiling light above him helps to create this angelic atmosphere around him. Bending down he rests his forehead against yours as his hand cups your cheek.

“I love you so much.”

Closing your eyes, you bite your lips before uttering, “I know, Jaemin.”

Letting out a hurt laugh he kisses your nose before pulling back. “Thank you for allowing me to be here.”

“Jaemin,” you whisper.

“I’ll set everything up for the two of you to be taken care of for the rest of your lives.”

“Jaemin.”

“I’m sure the guys will be there to help you with whatever you need so you don’t have to worry —”

“STOP!” You raise your voice but not too loud as to wake the baby. “Just… stop, okay? You don’t… you don’t have to say anything…”

“A deal is a deal.”

“This is your son! Even if I’m not ecstatic about it, he deserves to have his father in his life and not through a plate glass window. And before you get some twisted idea that I’ve suddenly forgiven you, I just don’t want to know that you’re in some jail cell counting down the days before you can see us again. I think that would make you crazier than you already are.”

“But I thought…”

“I will never forgive you. This is just me showing you some compassion and leniency which you DO NOT deserve. I’m doing this for my child, but you WILL seek the help you need. The moment you stop going to therapy is the moment I change my mind and go to the police.”

“Absolutely! I swear I won’t…” he chokes out a cry. “I won’t let you or our son down. I know you said you would never forgive me but I will do everything in my power to show you I can be a man you can rely on. I’ll become a man that will be there for you and our child.”

“There will also be a few rule changes!”

“Rule…changes?” His head tilts.

“You will no longer accompany me when I leave the home.”

“BUT –” he starts.

Holding up your hand you stop him. “I am not going to leave you. Not now with our son. I will also not speak a word of what happened in regards to the two of us. I will not speak a word to your friends either of the events that occurred between us and I will keep up my role as the happy dutiful wife. All I ask in return is that you trust me. I need to leave the estate at some point, Jaemin. I need to be free to visit my parents on my own. I need to be able to go to the store without having you tag along. Let me have the life of a stay at home mom, deal?”

Closing his eyes tightly, he nods his head reluctantly. “Okay. Deal.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

The car ride to Jeno’s house is dead quiet. Your son has since fallen asleep with his head resting on your lap. The two of you are sitting in the back of Jeno’s car so your son can stretch out a little more. Across from you in the driver’s seat, Jeno’s hands grip the steering wheel tightly. It’s weird… this morning you had a home, a life, belongings, dogs, and a husband — now you’re homeless with a child, no job, and your parents… well, you can always live with them but after everything… 

“What did Haechan want to talk to you about?” Jeno whispers.

“He wanted to know about my relationship with Jaemin.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m the only suspect so far,” you sigh while stroking your son's hair. “He needed to get background information on my life with Jaemin.”

“What the fu —”

“Jeno!” You quickly interject.

Staring him dead straight in the eyes you look down towards your son. Instantly realizing his faux pas he gives a curt nod. “Sorry, I guess I’ll have to watch my language from now on. The two of you can stay with me for as long as you need to.”

“I’m sorry that this happened, Jeno. This must be such an inconvenience.”

“You’re not an inconvenience, you’re family!” He reaffirms.

“Thank you.”

The car goes quiet again. A thickness in the air of questions yet to be asked and answers that you honestly don’t want to give and can’t give. You’re still trying to wrap your head around what happened. How did the house become engulfed in such a short period of time? 

“So, what exactly did Haechan ask you in regards to Jaemin?”

“He wanted to know when we started dating, how our marriage life was like. I guess just your typical background information on the prime suspect. Jeno, if anything happens to me I need you to promise me one thing. I need you to —”

“Nothing is going to happen to you!” He grips the wheel tighter. “Do you hear me? Nothing! Haechan, the guys and I will never let anything happen to you. Plus, we promised Jaemin that a long time ago.”

“Wh-What?”

“When your son was born and after the plethora of baby pictures, I mean geez did the guy have to send every single one he ever took?” He chuckles, making you smile gently. “Anyway, after all that he called us out to have a round of drinks and said that he was the luckiest man in the world. 

“That he can’t believe that he had you in his life. He was just so happy. He asked us to promise him that if anything were to happen to him, anything at all, that we would take care of the two of you and we all promised without any hesitation.”

“He said that?”

“Mmmhmm. But now…” Jeno’s voice grows quiet. “Now that I’m thinking about it he was talking as if something would happen to him soon. It was strange. He was happy but at the same time he was scared.”

“He was scared?”

“Maybe scared isn’t the right word…worried, perhaps?”

“Worried…?” your gaze drifts off into the dark night. 

“Yeah it was almost as if his whole world would be swept away in an instant. It was strange we’ve never seen him like that before.”

“Did he ever say what was going on?”

“Ahhh!! We’re here,” Jeno states as he pulls into his driveway. “Haechan said he’ll be over in about two hours to talk to us about what will happen next. In the meantime I’ll make you guys something to eat and you can get cleaned up.”

“W-We don’t have anything to…” you whisper.

“Haechan said he’ll bring over some clothes for the two of you. His sister left some of her stuff at his place before she moved out. Tomorrow if the two of you are up for it we can go shopping for some essentials.”

“I promise Jeno I’ll pay you back! I swear!” 

Turning back around he cracks a wide smile. “Don’t worry about it. And I’ll say it here and now so listen up. There will be no saying ‘I’m sorry about this,’ or ‘No, you can’t. This is too much,’ or anything like that, okay?”

“You’re an amazing person, Jeno. Thank you for everything. Truly. We'll forever be in your debt.”

“Nonsense,” he gets out of the car. “Now let’s get you two inside and some food in your stomachs.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Sitting on the front porch on the swing Jaemin and Jeno put together for you a year ago during the early spring – you watch your son gleefully play with all of the dogs on the massive front lawn. It’s bizarre to imagine that three years ago you were holding your son for the first time. That he was this tiny precious baby and now, he’s running, laughing, and playing with all the dogs. He’s learning new words each and every day. How many clothes he’s grown out of, but one thing hasn’t changed – his love for you grows stronger and stronger each day.

“Mama!” He waves.

“Hi baby!” You wave back.

Nana barks, grabbing your son’s attention and he laughs while climbing on top of her. The smile you were proudly wearing starts to fade as the little shit of a creature wags her tail enthusiastically towards your son. Well, if there was one plus side with having Nana around, it was her loyalty. She would probably rush into a burning building to save your son before you took your first steps to do the same. She might be a bitch to you, but she loves your son dearly and for that, you’ll cover your disdain for her with a clench of annoyance with your jaw.

“I made some lemonade,” Jaemin says, coming out onto the front porch. “It’s extra sweet, just how you like it.”

“Ah, thanks,” taking your glass you mix the liquid around with the straw before taking a huge gulp. “It’s good.”

“It’s not too sweet?” He asks taking a seat next to you.

“No, it’s perfect.”

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “I’m glad. I put in a little more sugar than last time. I’ll have to remember to make it this way from now on. So, what is on today’s agenda?”

“I need to go into town and do a little more shopping for his birthday party. Did you call the caterer?”

“Yep, they’ll be here an hour and a half before the party starts. The only problem we might have is the weather. It might rain in the afternoon, so I pulled a few strings and we’ll have a big tent set up the night before in the backyard as a precautionary measure.”

“It’s supposed to rain?” You ask worried. “Should we reschedule?”

“It would be too much of a hassle to reschedule. Plus, it’s just a smaller party this time around. Everything will be fine.”

“I just want his third birthday to be one to remember…” you pout looking out at your son who is still playing with the dogs.

“He’s not going to remember this birthday party at all so why worry? I mean do you remember your third birthday party?” Jaemin chuckles. “Once he hits seven that’s when we’ll have to up the ante.”

“Great, I'll have three years to plan the best party of all time.”

Jaemin starts to swing the porch swing gently, a huge smile on his face. “I know I’ve said this a million times already but I need to thank you for everything. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here for moments like these. I wouldn’t be able to see him grow up at all, to see him laughing and playing with the dogs, or see his first steps. It’s all thanks to you that I’m able to experience all of this.”

“It’s not a big deal,” you mumble. “Plus, who else would take care of Nana? She hates me and only likes the two of you.”

Chuckling, Jaemin reaches over and puts his hand on top of yours. “She doesn’t hate you.” Glaring at him he starts laughing more. “Okay, maybe she highly dislikes you, but I mean, you did try to kill me, remember?” He tilts his head.

“It’s not like I wanted to!” You snatch your hand from under his. “You left me with no other choice!”

“I know I didn’t leave you any other choice. It was a joke, I’m sorry.”

Glancing over you see the smile that Jaemin was boasting to the world has since disappeared. These past three years have been turbulent to say the least. You’ve sporadically burst out in pure rage towards him which could be a combination of many things. Blaming most of these outbursts on fatigue, which you felt was true considering your son would not sleep right until a few months ago – deep down both of you know it’s because you’re still harboring the hatred you felt for being trapped by him. Though admittingly, the feelings have become less and less as the years go by.

Jaemin has been an excellent father. He’s gone above and beyond anything you could have thought of. Even when he was barely getting two hours of sleep a night he would wake up and take care of his precious baby allowing you to sleep. The only time he ever woke you, was when there was no milk in the fridge that you pumped. Jaemin wanted to be present for everything in his child’s life, all of the little moments and all of the big moments. He’s been amazing…

“No, I’m sorry.” You rub between your brows. “I shouldn’t have shouted. Plus, I knew what I was doing back then. I wanted to do it…”

“You wanted to kill me?” He asks quietly.

“I wanted to be free.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Okay, what are we looking at?” Jeno asks Haechan.

“Geez, can’t a guy get himself comfortable before you jump down my throat? Plus, where’s your hospitality? No drink? No offering of food? Tsk, tsk, not a very good host at all.”

“Haechan cut the crap!” Jeno growls. “This is serious! We need to know what’s going to happen!”

“Okay, okay, I know,” Haechan turns to you. “I sent in the transcript of what we talked about to my boss. He glanced over a few things but he’s still not satisfied. Now, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but he wants to look into the specifics of your relationship. I’m supposed to talk to your parents and try to get a feeling of how Jaemin and yourself were like during your relationship. He said something doesn’t feel right and he wants me to look into it.”

“Something doesn’t feel right?” You ask.

“For him, the timeline doesn’t make any sense. Honestly, I can’t blame him.”

Jeno runs an aggravated hand through his hair. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means while I was doing some research I found myself asking the same questions as him. How does someone who was so close to being a major player at her company just up and leave one day, out of the blue? How does she never go back to her job EVER and how does she not go back to her home? I talked with your landlord; he says he hasn’t seen you in over eight years. What’s up with that?” Haechan asks you.

“Why the hell are you looking into her like she’s some kind of suspect? Do you think she had anything to do with this? Whose side are you on?”

“That’s because as of right now she’s the prime suspect! It’s always the spouse who we dig into first with a fine-toothed comb, you should know this already. Look I’m on her side, but I’m going to do my job whether you or,” he looks you in the eyes and you knew what he was about to say, “you like it. This is my job! My livelihood. I can’t just sweep things under the rug. I promised that I would protect you and I will, but you’ve got to throw me a bone, some things just aren’t adding up.”

“So she quit her job and moved in with Jaemin. What does that have to do with anything? Plenty of couples move in with each other. If this is the kind of talk you wanted to have you can just leave!”

“Why are you getting so pissed? I’m keeping the two of you in the loop of EVERYTHING that’s going to happen. I’m not hiding anything.”

Jeno rises from the couch. “Because you’re making it seem like she’s guilty!”

“And who’s to say she isn’t?!” Haechan shouts while standing up as well. “Just because she’s family doesn’t mean she’s innocent!”

“Can we just keep our voices down, or take this conversation outside?” You ask.

“We made a promise to Jaemin! WE, as in all of us, promised to keep her safe as well as her son if ANYTHING were to happen to him.”

“And why did he make us promise something like that? Hmmm?! Maybe he expected that something would happen to him!”

“Are you fucking serious? Why would he think his life is in danger?”

“I don’t know, why don’t we ask his corpse that is in the fucking morgue!” Haechan screams as tears fall down onto his cheeks.

“H-Haechan…” you grab ahold of his hand. “Please, stop, both of you.”

“No! He’s being an asshole!” Jeno shouts.

“I’m trying to put together a picture so I can prove she had nothing to do with this!”

“And looking into her work history is how you do this?”

Sighing, you stand up between them. “Jaemin and I,” you start to speak but stop. “Jaemin and I had a fraudulent marriage!” You shout.

Silence fills the room as you finally speak some of your truth. Frankly, it felt nice to speak about things. Having kept this secret, this charade up for the past seven years has been tough. With Jaemin gone, perhaps…you can finally be free…

“What did you just say?” Haechan grabs your shoulders.

“I mean it wasn’t fraudulent in the literal sense. I lied to you when I said that Jaemin and I had been dating. We, well, the thing is –”

Scoffing Jeno rolls his eyes flopping down on the couch.  “So Haechan is right,” he shakes his head. “You’re going to sit down and tell us everything. No more secrets.”

“E-Everything?”

“Everything,” Haechan sits down as well. “This is only going to help you in the long run. If everything checks out then you won’t have anything to worry about.”

“What if I do have something to worry about? What if I say what happened between Jaemin and I and I lose everything?” Tears start to trickle down your cheeks. “Look, all you need to know is that towards the end, we were working on things. We even started to sleep in the same bed again! I swear!”

“You weren’t sleeping in the same bed?” Jeno questions.

Shaking your head anxiously, “I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

“Tell us what happened!” Haechan states firmly and while you shake your head, your eyes close tightly, repeating ‘I can’t, I can’t’ over and over again until Haechan grabs your hand and soon you hear it click.

“H-Haechan!” Jeno gasps. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Haechan!” You squeak.

“Tell us everything or I’m going to take you down to the precinct and interrogate you the proper way. I’ll put you in our holding cell until you decide to talk. So, which do you prefer?” He holds up the other end of the handcuffs making your arm raise slightly.

Your eyes bounce back and forth between your hand and Haechan’s intense gaze. He wasn’t joking at all. He’s being dead serious. Gently turning to Jeno he motions for you to just talk, clearly exhausted from this situation and most likely today’s fiasco. Nodding, Haechan lowers your arm. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out his phone and goes straight to the audio recording app. Clicking the button he asks you the question, ‘what exactly happened between you and Jaemin?’

“Jaemin and I were married legally but we weren’t in love,” you start your sorted tale. “Well, at least I wasn’t in love. Jaemin, he was the one who was in love with me. I guess the real truth was he was madly, enthusiastically, crazily, in love with me. When we were married, I hated him. I was numb from the inside out. I only went through with the wedding because of my son.”

“Why would you marry someone you hate just because of your son? You were making quite enough money for yourself and any children you would have, so why go through everything to marry someone you hate?”

Shrugging you coil in on yourself. “That’s something I can’t explain. Like I stated I was numb. I had shut down all thoughts and feelings for the most part. It was as if I was looking at my life from outside of my body. I liked Jaemin when we first met. I even thought I found the person I would spend the rest of my life with, but he went crazy when I told him I had to go. He started acting erratic and, well, there’s really no other way to say it, but he kidnapped me.”

Haechan stops the recording quickly after you finish speaking. “What the fuck do you mean he kidnapped you?!”

“Jaemin slipped something into my drink the night before I was going to leave. I fell asleep in his arms in his bed and when I woke up I was in a different room chained to a bed. The chain was long enough for me to move around the room and to use the bathroom, but I couldn’t leave. He had Nana, for the most part, watch the door I was in. That little bitch hated me.” You roll your eyes. “The tears I was shedding in the hospital when you told me she was gone, were tears of joy. I couldn’t stand that dog. She would always try to trip me, she would bark at me, snap at me. She was acting like a jealous ex-girlfriend. She was like that the moment I stepped into Jaemin’s life.”

Shaking his head, Haechan stands up. “No. This… This didn’t happen.” He grabs his phone.

“It did happen, Haechan! I was locked in a fucking room for months and was made to play some stupid game where he was hunting me!”

“Shut up!” Haechan growls.

“No! You wanted to know what happened between us, so I’m going to tell you what happened between us. Every week I had to attempt to escape the estate. That was the game. Try to get through the fucking maze below the house to the main floors and escape past the three gates that were locked – the kicker, he had put the key to the locks to the gates on my collar that he had me wear around my neck. I was given breaks only at dinner time and at night where I had to enter a designated room.

“Once I was inside there was a light that turned green indicating that the game was officially on hold until the next morning. He would use Nana to sniff me out which made escaping damn near impossible. When he found me, he’d hook a chain to my collar and drag me back to the room I was staying in like a fucking dog! But when I got hurt, the games stopped and I was put on bedrest –”

“I’m not hearing any of this,” he puts his hands over his ears.

Standing up you grab hold of his wrists tugging at his hands. “So I did what I needed to do to survive! I pretended that I wanted him. I gave into every touch,” you hiss venomously remembering those moments. “That’s when the numbness started,” a dark cynical smile spreads across your lips. “I shut down completely and surrendered to him.

“I let him fuck me how many times a day he wanted to. I begged and pleaded for more like a wanton whore!” You shriek tears pouring down your face. “But that only gave me a chance to think about my escape. I waited until he felt comfortable around me. Until he could trust me, until he would free me of my chains that held me back from doing the one thing I couldn’t do before…”

“What did you do?” You hear Jeno’s shaky voice behind you.

Turning back your eyes darken over with a chilliness that has him shrinking back. “I tried to kill him. I thought I did honestly. I used a pillow to suffocate him in his sleep. I made my escape only to be stopped by Nana at the top of the steps. I pointed to where Jaemin was, and just like the dutiful dog she is, or was, she went to go and check on him.

“I sprinted through the halls that I mapped out many times in my head to get to the main floor as quickly as possible. I was afraid that at any second he would materialize before me. I made it out of the house and through the first two gates. I could barely breathe. My body was so tired, I don’t know how long I was locked down in that labyrinth of hell, but the brightness of the sun almost blinded me. When I got to the final gate and opened it, I was about to take my first steps to freedom when the gates closed automatically. And that’s when I realized I made a huge mistake, and the rest, well you guys know the rest of this fucked up tale.”

Out of nowhere Haechan lunges at you, his hands wrapping around your neck. “You fucking bitch! You killed him! You did this!”

“WHAT THE HELL!!!!! HAECHAN!!!! LET GO OF HER!” Jeno shouts as he rushes to stop Haechan.

“You wanted him dead! You made sure to end him this time didn’t you? Didn’t you?!” His grip on your neck tightens.

You claw for Haechan to let go of your neck when you start gasping for air, your vision beginning to gloss over from your tears. Maybe this was for the best. Haechan’s anger, though delayed, is justified. You did try to end his friends’ life, but it failed, and you were still trapped with that monstrous beast.

“Haechan! Stop! She’s turning purple!!!” Jeno screams. “She didn’t kill him! He lived you jackass!”

“She waited seven years to finish the job! I know she did!”

Your hands that were gripping Haechan’s wrists go limp at your sides. Jeno will take care of your son, you know he will. Plus, now your baby will never know what happened between you and his father. The secret of his conception will forever be hidden from him. No questions like ‘mommy how did you and daddy meet?’ ‘Mom what did dad say that won you over?’ ‘Mom, how long did it take for you to plan your wedding?’ Tears sprinkle down into your ears. The only sad thing is, you won’t see your baby boy grow up.

“Fuck man! Stop!!!!!” Jeno uses all his strength to punch Haechan square in his jaw and only then are you freed from his grasp. Not bothering to gasp for air, Jeno catches you in his arms. “Breathe!” He screams as the two of you fall to the floor, your body resting in his lap.

Why? You ask yourself. Why breathe? No matter what happens, no matter what truth comes out you’ll be thought of as guilty, so why bother?

“FUCK BREATHE!!!!!!!” Jeno’s tears fall onto your face. “PLEASE!!! BREATHE!!!!! FUCK!!!! HAECHAN CALL FOR AN AMBULANCE!”

“Let the bitch die, it’s what she deserves,” he hisses.

“What the hell are you talking about? Shit! D-Don’t worry, just stay with me, okay? Stay with me…” Jeno scrambles for his phone in his pocket.

“She deserves to die after what she did. How can you sit there and defend her?! She tried to kill Jaemin once, what makes you think that she didn’t try to kill him again?”

“For fucks sake man! I knew all of this shit already! I knew everything!”

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears. Your body is now screaming for air to fill your lungs. What did he mean he knew everything? He…He couldn’t have. Jaemin would never tell anyone his secret…he wouldn’t…

“…When you came into my life and we started talking, it was like I was seen,” he sniffles. “Someone was finally looking at me for me.”

“And you’re telling me your friends don’t see you for you?”

“They see me as the kid who’s from a rich family. Plus, it’s not like they aren’t from well off families either.”

“You’ve doubted their loyalty?”

“Never.”

“Then you trust them and accept that they see you for you.”

“Only one person.”

“Jeno?” You inquire.

Nodding he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck…

“Mom…my…” You hear your son’s voice enter the room.

GO AWAY! BABY!!! PLEASE!!!! You scream in your head.

“Little man,” Jeno’s body trembles under you. “U-Ummm… your mom is just sleeping, go back to bed, okay?”

“Mommy…” you hear your son’s voice again. “Mama!!!!!” His voice comes closer to you. “Mommy!!!!!” He cries out your name.

AHHHHHH FUCK IT!!!!! 

And finally, you gasp for air. 

“Finally!!!” Jeno holds you in his arms. “Are you okay?”

“Mommy?” Your son sniffs. “What’s wrong with mommy?” He starts to cry.

“Uhh, she was just sleeping deeply,” Jeno lies. “Hae-Haechan, why don’t you tuck him back into bed, okay?” Haechan doesn’t move, his face blank and unreadable. “Haechan!” Jeno cries out. “Please, take him back to bed. It’s past his bedtime.”

“We’re not done here,” he replies, his voice cold as ice.

“Yes, yes, now go…”  Haechan reaches out for your sons’ hand and you watch your little boy disappear into the darkness of the shadowy hallway. “Shit woman,” Jeno exhales, his head resting on top of yours. “What the fuck were you thinking? You have a kid!”

You try to answer him, but your voice doesn’t come out. Again, you try to speak, but nothing.

“Don’t you ever do something like that again, got it?! Shit… I thought I’d have to bury two friends and I can’t do that. I can’t!”

“He’s back in bed,” Haechan returns into the living room entryway, leaning against the wall. “Now, would someone care to explain to me what the actual fuck is going on here?”

Suddenly tears well up in your eyes as you stare at Haechan. The numbing feeling that coursed through your body when he was beyond pissed at you vanished, now the only thing in its wake is fear. Fear that you’ve ruined your chances of freedom. Fear that you won’t be able to clear your name when you did absolutely nothing this time around. Fear that you were actually going to let yourself chase the white light and leave everyone including your son behind.

Holding out your hands you lower your head in shame and let everything out. Your body quakes as tears fall onto the floor beneath you uncontrollably. You deserve to be behind bars. You deserve to face your fate for so many things. Lying, manipulating, gas lighting, attempting to… you can’t even think of the word, for even contemplating ending your life, you deserve all the hell you’re about to face. Every bit of it…

Footsteps ring out into the quiet room, getting closer and closer to you until they stop right in front of you. You feel Jeno’s arm wrap around your waist protectively. A burning sensation pierces the skin of your hands, they are hit away. Peering up you see Haechan’s cold gaze staring you down as if you’re a piece of shit. His hand goes up again and Jeno’s grasp on you tightens even more, his body starting to turn you away from Haechan.

Clenching his hand, Haechan sighs. “Pull yourself together; you’ve got a kid to take care of.” He gets up, shoves his phone in his pocket and grabs his jacket. “We’re not done talking about what just happened.” He states before heading out the door.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Leafing through the papers on his desk, Haechan rolls his eyes annoyed. How could things have gone unnoticed for so long? How were you able to keep up the charade of a fake relationship with Jaemin the whole time the two of you were together? Staring at the home you and Jaemin shared he starts to bite his nails. The answer to everything felt so close and yet so far. Were you being honest about the happenings between the two of you early on? Were you hiding something?

The chatter and phones fill the precinct, but he’s since blocked out all of the noise. Three weeks have passed since he last saw you. Three weeks since he lost his temper and tried to…

“Shit!” He groans. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” He whispers to himself.

“Everything alright there?”

Haechan raises his head to see his co-worker, Mikayla. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Mmmhmm, is that the reason why you look like hell because everything is fine?”

“Don’t you have a job to do? A case to solve or someone else to bother?”

Sliding her chair into her desk she looks across from her, smirking at Haechan. “Nope. But, if someone doesn’t mind handing over one of their cases I wouldn’t refuse.”

“You want the murder suicide case that badly huh?”

“Who wouldn’t? It was at the Governors’ Ball! Plus, it’ll look good with the higher ups.”

For the second time in five minutes Haechan rolls his eyes before opening one of the drawers at his desk. “Here, be my guest.” He grabs a file and tosses it over onto Mikayla’s desk. “I’ve got too much to deal with on this case anyway.”

“Are you talking about the house that burnt down?” She pouts. “What’s there to solve with that one? Didn’t the fire chief say that it wasn’t an act of arson?”

“Yes, but something isn’t sitting well with me. He stated that a gas pipe had a crack in it, but even then his words were ‘things happen sometimes. The house was old and didn’t have any updates to make sure that things were up to code. If it wasn’t a cracked pipe it would have been something else.’”

Nodding she looks through the case she’s just been handed. “And you don’t think the fire chief of all people knows what he’s talking about?”

“It’s not that…”

“Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for the lady of the house already,” she chuckles. “Or,” she gasps. “Do you think she’s the one who caused this?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” he runs a tired hand through his hair. “I think I need to take a break for a second and clear my mind.” Pushing his chair out he takes out his keys and unlocks the front drawer, grabbing a pack of cigarettes. “Care to lend a friend a shoulder for a bit?” He asks her.

Heading outside Haechan and Mikayla bow their heads and chit chat lightheartedly with a few of their fellow detectives and cops before heading around the corner to an alley next to the precinct. Leaning against the wall of the precinct, Haechan pops up a cigarette and offers one to Mikayla.

“You know I don’t smoke.” She waves a dismissive hand.

“Not now you don’t,” he puts the cigarette between his lips. “Wait a couple years, it’ll either be these or drinking – pick a poison now so you won’t be blindsided later.”

“What’s gotten into you these past couple weeks? Obviously you’re not sleeping well. Your eyes look like a panda’s. It was a house fire, it’s terrible but what more could there be?”

“There was a victim of the house fire, a body, but I don’t know how it all connects together.” He lights the cigarette and takes an extra-long inhale. Blowing out the smoke he turns to Mikayla defeated. “Would you ever stay in an abusive relationship?”

“What kind of question is that? No!”

“Even if the person started out kind in the beginning, you still wouldn’t?”

“It doesn’t matter if they were a saint in the beginning, no one man or woman should deal with an abusive partner. Why are you asking me this?”

Taking a smaller drag of his cigarette Haechan puffs out another round of smoke. “The woman whose house burned down, I know her. I’ve known her for the past seven years. She’s practically family at this point.”

“And you’re working on her case? Haechan you know you shouldn’t be near this case!” Mikayla pushes herself off the wall to stand in front of him. “What were you thinking?! If the captain finds out about this you’ll be dead meat!”

“I’m the only one who can work this case. Plus, I promised her husband that no matter what happened to him I’d be there to protect her and her son. I’m not breaking that promise, no matter what.”

“Even if it comes back that she was somehow involved in the death of her husband? Haechan you’re not thinking clearly, pass this case on to someone else, let them look into things with an unbiased mind.”

Flicking off the butt of his cigarette Haechan chuckles, “you know I watched them get married. I was there the day her son was born. I've smiled and laughed at all the dinner parties, birthday parties, every Christmas holiday, but it was all a lie.” He takes another long inhale of his cigarette letting the smoke fill his lungs before blowing it out once again. “He kidnapped her,” he mumbles.

“Wh-What…?”

“My friend, the man I thought I knew was a monster this whole time. According to her, he kidnapped her, kept her locked in that house for God knows how long before she tried to fight back and get free.”

“What did she do?”

“She tried to kill him,” Haechan’s jaw tightens. “With a pillow apparently. That was over seven years ago.” He blows out another puff of smoke.

Shaking her head, Mikayla takes her spot next to Haechan once more. “An attempt of murder?” She whispers.

“At that point it would be self-defense, would it not? Worst case scenario most she’d get is a couple months or a year if the news of this was brought out.”

“If? You’re not going to put that in the report?”

“Is it necessary?”

“It would show that she had a motive in the past to hurt your friend, why wouldn’t you clarify this?!”

“Because she said they were making things work, that’s why…” with one last inhale he finishes his cigarette, puts it out on the wall next to him and flicks it off to the side. “If you were in my shoes would you let this go, or would you put it into the report?”

“How long was she married to your friend?”

“About seven years.”

Lowering her head, her arms fold across her chest. “Get the full story and then come back and ask me.”

“Or, you could listen in on an interrogation. I called her in to be here after lunch, so you down to do this?”

“Yes.”

“Right this way,” Haechan opens the door to the interrogation room and you walk in. “Do you need anything to eat or drink?”

Pulling out the chair on one side of the table, you sit down placing your purse on the floor. “No.” You answer curtly.

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” He asks taking a seat in the chair across from you.

Clenching your jaw, you unwrap the scarf that was around your neck, folding it neatly off to the side. “Why would I be mad?”

Haechan’s expression falls quickly. Traces of his outburst are still visible on your neck, red bruising that anyone with decent eyesight could tell that someone had tried to hurt her. Scooting his chair uncomfortably, he leans forward. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened… I –”

Interjecting you ask, “what exactly did you want to discuss?”

The three weeks Haechan stayed away from both you and Jeno gave you a lot of time to think. It wasn’t that you were mad at him for what he did, hell if the roles were reversed you might have tried beating the shit out of someone who dared tried to kill your best friend – that being said, he would never be able to empathize with you. He’ll never know what kind of pain you were in psychologically, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Talking to Jeno before he dropped you off here before heading out for some light shopping, he mentioned one thing that stuck out to you. Jaemin and Haechan had a very interesting relationship, though they were friends, they had their fair share of bad blood in the past. Arguments that resulted in small misunderstandings, fist fights that broke out because one said something they shouldn’t have. Their relationship was always swaying back and forth like a pendulum from good to bad. There were only a handful of moments where their relationship was neutral, but even then – even in the bad moments, Haechan respected Jaemin.

“Please, I’m sorry… I was just so angry and I wasn’t thinking…” Haechan tries to explain.

“I’m not mad but I’m also aware that your loyalty is with Jaemin more than it is with me, it always has been and always will be. No matter what, you are his brother and I am his wife. Now, what did you want to discuss?”

Glancing behind him, he sighs and pulls out his phone. Going through the motions of setting up the recording for the interview, he starts with the basics, your name, age, and association with the deceased. Information that you’re sure is well known by all.

“When we last talked you mentioned that your husband hurt you, is that correct?”

“Yes I did.”

“In what ways did he hurt you?”

“Like I stated I’m not 100% sure but I believe Jaemin slipped something into my drink the night before I was set to leave to go back to my apartment in the next city, approximately three hours from here. I woke up on what I assume is the following morning and I was no longer in his bedroom, but in another room deep below the main house. The rooms were white and at first it hurt to open my eyes.

“My clothes were different from what I went to sleep in. I was only given a white shirt and white leggings, white undergarments, and white shoes. I then noticed that I had something wrapped around my neck, it was a leather collar and attached to it was a long heavy chain. As stated it was long enough for me to move around the room, to use the restroom that was inside of this bedroom, but to get out and leave, there was no way I could. I tried tugging and using anything I could to break free, but it was no use.

“In the beginning he just came in and provided food and drinks for me. Brought in some books for me to read, but no matter how much I begged and pleaded he wouldn’t let me go. After a while, during this time I had no concept of time or how many hours passed, how many days. There were no windows, but after a while he came in and said that he wanted to play a game with me. The concept of the game was for me to get out of this long maze of corridors underneath the house and make it out of the house and past all of the gates on the property.

“He put a key onto my collar, removed the chain, stepped aside and told me to go ahead. I bolted out the door and from down the hall, where I was staying in — he said if I don’t make it out we’ll keep playing until I do. He knew very well it was going to be impossible for me to leave.”

“Why did he keep you in this room and chained up?”

“He stated that when I told him I was going to leave and go back home he started freaking out. He was right, he did start acting really weird. I mentioned this as the second week of the New Year was rolling in. He started to become extra clingy, and begged me not to go back. He said things like ‘I can provide for you,’ ‘please don’t leave me, please!’ ‘What do I need to do to get you to stay.’ I was slowly starting to think this might not work out because of how he was acting, and then suddenly, he stopped acting like this. He simply asked, ‘are you serious about this relationship?’ To which I said, ‘yes.’”

Haechan’s brow quirks up in confusion. “You mean to tell me this is all because you were going to go back to your home and to your job?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry but that doesn’t make sense.”

“When someone has a psychotic break a lot of things don’t make sense. He confessed that he was scared that he would never see me again. He was scared that after all these years someone who saw him for him and not as some rich guy was going to leave his life forever. That wasn’t true. I liked him a lot. I wanted to be with him. I fell for him, fast and hard, as he did with me. The only problem is that I wasn’t alone locked up in a house in the middle of nowhere, like he was.

I didn’t have a job that for the most part kept me away from people until absolutely necessary. I didn’t have a family that seemed to not care if I spent the holidays alone. Actually, speaking of the holidays, why didn’t any of you spend time with him?”

Pressing the pause button on his phone Haechan lets out a deep sigh. “Let’s keep this about you, shall we?”

“What? I can’t ask questions when you know the victim as well?” Tilting your head you smile. “Or does everyone still think you’re not involved in any way?”

“Only one person knows and I’d prefer to keep it that way until we solve this case. As for your question, off the record, Jaemin never told us anything. If we’re talking about the time period of seven years ago, he secluded himself from the rest of us. We didn’t even know he was at his grandmother’s house. So there was no way we could have talked to him about getting together.”

“I see.”

“Shall we get back to the real line of questions?”

“Proceed.”

Pressing the pause button again the recording starts up. “You said he had a psychotic break, how are you so sure?”

“I don’t know, I would assume chaining someone in a room for months would be defined as a psychotic break, wouldn’t you agree Detective Lee?”

Rolling his eyes, Haechan smirks. “Okay, let’s say that I believe you and he kept you in this so-called room, where is it exactly? There was nothing about an underground room in the blueprint of the house.”

“Why would there be something on the blueprint when it’s supposed to be used for something you’re not supposed to be doing. It’s like having a hidden passageway, not really hidden if it’s in the blueprint. Or, having your safe room listed in the blueprints. If an intruder had the blueprints to the house, for whatever reason, it would be really stupid to have that room listed, now wouldn’t it?

“But to answer your question, the room itself was the last room in a long corridor of many corridors. I can’t tell you how deep below it is, but there was an opening behind a large painting on the main floor. It was right before you would head up to the second floor. You pull the painting away, unlock the door – Jaemin always had the key on hand, and go down a long narrow staircase. Once you reach the bottom it’s like a secret bunker.

“The hallway is this bright light gray tone that almost blinds you. You keep walking down that hallway and you reach a door. Now this door was always unlocked, unless Jaemin wasn’t down there with me. If I somehow managed to free myself he would need something else to keep me down there until he could subdue me once more.”

Shaking his head, Haechan clicks his tongue while leaning back in his chair. His arms cross over his chest as he sports the cockiest grin you’ve ever seen. “You expect me to believe all of this was underneath his grandmother’s house? Are you serious?”

“I’m telling you the truth. You just refuse to believe it because it sounds outrageous.” Leaning forward you lean your elbows on the table, propping your head up with your hands at your cheeks. “There are a lot of things in this world that are beyond imagination Haechan. There are people in this world who do terrible and evil things all the time. Perhaps think back on one of your cases that shocked you beyond imagination. How did you feel before you knew the truth versus after?”

Readjusting in his chair he turns away from you. “Continue.”

“There were cameras everywhere. It wouldn’t surprise me if Jaemin didn’t have a room that was for watching me during our downtime. No matter where I was in the house, I was being watched. The only place where there were no cameras was the hidden passageways. They’re not exactly escape friendly. There are a lot of rusted nails sticking up from the floorboards, broken glass, not to mention the dust and bugs.

“I favored those routes, but Jaemin learned this after a few failed attempts. As soon as he figured out my plan he had Nana sniff something of mine and she always led him directly to me…” you pause, closing your eyes slowly. “Sometimes he would taunt me. He would pretend as if he had no idea where I was, but I knew that was a lie. I knew that with the sound of her footprints walking next to him, her nails clicking against the white tiled floor. I tried to keep moving, to keep a good distance so I could at least make it to the first floor, but I was always caught. Always.”

“The last time we talked you had mentioned off the record that you had gotten hurt, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“How did you get hurt?”

Sighing, you give an I-don’t-know shrug. It wasn’t that you didn’t know, it was that there were plenty of times you ‘got hurt,’ but the incident he wants you to talk about is what you told him in front of Jeno, when you confessed shortly after that you tried to kill Jaemin. To say anything on record is certain doom.

“I’ll repeat the question,” he says sternly. “How did you get hurt?”

“Which time?”

“Pardon?” He looks confused.

“Which time are you referring too? There were a few cases that I needed bed rest before his twisted game started up again.” Snickering, “I guess I have to give him some credit. He didn’t want his little rabbit to be hurt while he hunted.”

“The last time you were hurt.” Haechan specifies.

“I got startled by how close he had gotten to me and tumbled down the stairs. I sprained my ankle and when he got me –” you pause.

It wasn’t as if these past two years of working things out with Jaemin have wiped everything he did off the face of the earth. It wasn’t as if you forgave him for keeping you away from your loved ones, but spending time with him, seeing him in almost the same light that you saw him when you first met… It almost was like a scar showing the first signs of healing, but talking to Haechan is like picking at the scar and opening it up.

The pain, the hurt, and psychological damage that you both faced resurfacing once more. What’s worse, he doesn’t believe you. He doesn’t believe anything that you’re saying and even if you could prove that it’s true… there’s no evidence…

Clearing his throat Haechan gestures for you to finish. “When he found me he linked the one end of the chain into my collar, and started to lead me away as if I was some animal on a leash. I told him I was hurt and he got mad. He brought up the rules and –”

Haechan interjects. “Rules?”

“There are seven rules to this game. Seven rules that you need to follow or else,” you stop again shocked. “Or else something bad would happen. It took me months to learn all the rules, but once I did I didn’t dare break them. I mean I was already being held prisoner, the logical thing that would happen if I break all the rules would be…”

“Death?” Haechan asks.

Shrugging you fidget in your seat. “I don’t think he would have ever killed me, but I wouldn’t have, during this time mind you, put it past him to destroy everything I loved so there was nothing else in the world I could have and hope for.”

The room falls silent. It was true you never tried to break every single rule in one round of the game. Yes, getting hurt is bad and it would hinder your escapes so you always tried to at least notify him of your injuries. Denying him once he caught you fair and square – with the help of his most loyal companion, was like whining after losing rock, paper, scissors. Jaemin never mentioned what he would do but the eeriness in his voice that first time he read you the rules still chills you to the bone.

 ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Everything around you is dark. A few minutes ago, Jaemin had placed a blindfold over your eyes and stated that he wanted to play a game with you. A strange aura started to radiate from him and immediately you crawled away from him. Something about this game didn’t feel right, though it hasn’t even started. Pulling you back to him by your ankles, your body pulls the freshly made covers down on your bed.

“Don’t make this harder on yourself, princess,” he whispers close to your ear. “This is going to be a fun game, you’ll see. Plus, you’ll be able to leave this room. Don’t you want this?”

“I want to go home,” you whisper.

Grabbing your arm from under you, he manages to flip you over to your back, climbing on top of you. Your blindfold exposes one of your eyes, but he simply pulls it back down. “What have I told you a million times?” He asks, taking both of your hands into his grasp. Something cold touches your skin and before you can put two and two together, Jaemin has your hands bound by a zip tie. “You are home.”

Tugging on your neck you try to escape Jaemin’s grasp, but it’s no use. He has a firm hold on the chain that is attached to a leather collar around your neck. The sounds of his loyal companions' nails click on your right hand side, while Jaemin is on your left a few feet ahead of you.

“Please Jaemin! Please, just let me go! I promise I won’t tell anyone what you’re doing, okay? I just want to go back home!” You beg.

“Princess, I’m not in the mood to argue with you over this matter. You are home, this is your home. Your home is with me.”

“Jaemin, please, you have to stop this! Why are you doing this? I thought you liked me! Is this what you do to someone that you like?”

“Oh, I don’t like you,” he stops walking and you bump into him. Feeling his hands run up your arms, you scrunch your shoulders close to your ears, visibly uncomfortable with the gesture. “I love you,” he kisses the top of your head. “I want us to be together forever. I want us to start a family, to get married, to grow old together.”

“Then why are you doing this?! Huh?!” You scream only to notice your voice echoes around you. Startled you look around like an imbecile. There is no way you can see anything with this blindfold, but it was a natural reaction to the sound of your voice.

“I’ve waited for people to return before,” his voice grows soft. “I’ve waited and waited for the people I love to return to me but you know what princess,” his voice leaves your side and ends up behind you. “They never came back. I waited and waited and waited like an idiot for someone who I loved to come back into my life. For that person who I cherished more than anything to save me and I was left alone!” He shouts causing you to shrink down in front of him. “But,” he clears his throat. “I’m a reasonable man. I want you to stay with me because you desire to, but until you see this, how about a little game?”

The black fabric that was tied around your head slowly unravels before you. Squinting at the brightly lit room your hands come up to cover your eyes. “Wh-Where am I?” Your voice comes out barely a whisper.

“Take a look around,” Jaemin moves back in front of you. “Now for these,” he digs into his pocket bringing out a Swiss Army knife and removes the zip ties from your wrists. “There we go.”

Rubbing your wrists, Jaemin steps to your left side allowing you to get a view of where you’re at, but what you see doesn’t make any sense. In front of you are four different hallways. All of which are the same light gray color, all of which appear to be the same length. The area you find yourself in is like the end of a road. A small enough area for someone to choose what path to go, but that’s about it.

“Wh-Where am I?” You start to shake.

“You’re at the starting line. Every time we play this game you will start here. But, before you begin, I think it’s best if we go over the premise of this game as well as the rules. So listen up, okay?” Nodding in shock you stare down each of the long hallways, your heart starting to beat faster and faster. “The premise of the game is for you to leave this underground maze and reach the main floor of the house. After you reach the main floor, you’re to leave the house and go through each of the three gates on the property.”

“We-We’re still at your grandmother’s house?”

“Yes. We haven’t left. This is an underground maze of hallways that my great-great-great grandfather had made during a time of war. This was to insure that the family would be able to escape unharmed if the home were to be invaded for any given reason.”

“B-But why am I down here?”

“To play a game, silly.” He chuckles. “Think of this as a HUGE escape room. There are plenty of secret passageways, doors that you can enter, and plenty of hallways that you can travel down,” he starts walking around the room, his eyes closing shut with a little smile on his face. “Grandmother and I liked to play hide and seek down here. She knew this labyrinth like the back of her hand. From generation after generation, all of the kids came down here to play, so that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to play!” 

Your body starts to tremble uncontrollably. “I-I don’t want to play! Wh-What if I get lost? What if I can’t make it to the main floor?”

“The game will last for four hours. You have exactly four hours to get from down here, to upstairs and out of the house and off the property. After four hours, if you are down here, whichever door you’re near will have a green light above it. That is to signify the end of the game for that day, and for a meal and sleep break. You’ll hear an alarm and that is when you wake up, get dressed, have another meal, and get ready for another four hours to try to escape. This will continue until you get to the main floor, or if you get hurt. Simple, right?”

Shaking your head you back away from him and the strange hallways. “I don’t want to play this. I…I want to go back to that room.”

Tilting his head, his lips pucker out in a pout. “It’s either we play this game, or you’re trapped down here until you submit to me, forever.” He smiles brightly when he says forever, a cold chill raking across your body. “So, what’s it going to be? A shot at freedom, or a lifetime with me?”

He can’t be serious… This is just some joke that he’s trying to play. An ‘I got’cha’ moment where he says it’s all a joke and that he was just messing with you this whole time and you can pretend this nightmare never happened. No… no… this HAS TO BE a dream, no! A fucked up nightmare! There’s no way the man you were cuddled up against, after a beautiful romantic dinner, and a night of making love is the same sick sadistic monster in front of you. This has to be a nightmare…it has to be!

“Tik tok, princess, we don’t have all day.” He leans down so he can look into your eyes. “Should I explain the rules so you can understand better?”

“YES!” You squeak.

“Okay,” he moves away from you and starts walking back and forth, waving his arm as if he’s giving some grand speech. “Rule 1, 'the one being hunted may try to escape the property by any means necessary unless they are in a safe room, or have been injured. Rule 2, if the party being hunted finds themselves hurt they are to call out the safe word 'red' or push the red button that is located on the wall outside of all of the designated safe rooms signifying that the game is over.

“Rule 3, the hunter will give their prey a specified amount of time as a means for a head start before starting the hunt. They may extend or cut back on the amount of time given per round. Rule 4, it would be wise for the prey to keep themselves well-hidden and keep quiet to ensure the game does not end too soon. Rule 5, if the hunter catches their prey, the prey needs to come quietly as the round has ended. Rule 6, the hunter will then inspect the prey for any injuries once they have been captured. This is by no means a rule that can be skipped or looked past. Rule 7, if the prey tries to resist – the hunter will have to make their prey submit by any means necessary.”

Stopping right in front of you, a gentle smile on his face that makes him look like a sweet angel in disguise he asks, “do you understand the rules, princess?”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Plopping back in his chair Haechan stares at you in disbelief. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but instantly closes his mouth and looks away from you.

“I’m not making anything up. I played that sick game for months. I tried and tried and tried again to escape. Every time I thought I was so close to reaching the main floor he would randomly appear, with Nana by his side. It was only then I discovered that he was using her to help sniff me out. Then, I found the secret passageways and started to learn how to navigate them. The games were prolonged for more than just a day. He enjoyed it. But there was one thing I wasn’t going to do and that was to submit to him.”

“So then why did you submit to him and let him have his way with you?”

“I was at my wits end and I thought if I gave him the idea that I was his and his alone, he would just take me up to the main floor. But he saw right through me. After I made it to the last gate he said –”

“You mean after you tried to kill him with the pillow?”

Your jaw tightens. How could he just utter this out as if it’s okay? He promised to protect you. He promised to keep you safe and to make sure that nothing was going to happen and now it feels like he’s trying to throw you under the bus. Was he this mad and upset? Could he not see how terrible Jaemin was?!

Letting out a shaky breath your head lowers, “yes.”

“You may continue what you were saying prior.”

A tired pathetic laugh passes your lips. Running a hand through your hair, you peek up at the man sitting across from you. A man that was supposed to be your friend, but is now a complete stranger to you. “Does it even matter? You got what you wanted. It’s done, it’s over with. No matter what I say from here on out it won’t be taken seriously. I can scream it to the heavens that I had nothing to do with Jaemin’s death but no one is going to believe me because of what you just made me say. Which if I’m remembering correctly, was supposed to be kept private after I talked to you, at Jeno’s house, off the record that is.” You decide to throw in this tidbit of information into the recording. If he wanted to take you down, you were going to be sure he was going to get accosted in some shape or form too. “So,” you look up, eyes clouded with anger. You place your hands as far out in front of you as you possibly can. “Slap the cuffs on me. I know you want to. I know you want me to be in jail. You made that clear the other night.”

Haechan reaches forward and stops the recording on his phone. “You’re fucking ridiculous,” he hisses. “Do you think I want you behind bars? Do you think I want to take a mother away from her child? That’s not what’s going on here.”

“Then what is going on? You made me confess that I tried to end someone’s life! You think I don’t feel guilt over that? You think I didn’t look at him every day and realize what I tried to do? I never wanted to do that in the first place. I didn’t want to be put into a position where I would contemplate ending someone’s life. But I was forced into that position. My rights, my freedom, my life was taken from me. I tried fighting for it by getting out of that damn maze, but I couldn’t escape. No matter how many months I was down there I never won once. I never got close to getting to the front door until I thought he was gone.

“When I finally made it to the front door and past the first two gates and attempted to step across the line to freedom the last gate closed and he materialized out of nowhere. He said he knew what was going on because I changed my behavior. He knew everything so he pretended to die. It was just another sick game of his and I fell right into his trap.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you get married to him? Why were you with him all these years?” He shouts, tears running down his cheeks. “This is the part that I don’t understand. If he was so fucking terrible why did you stay?”

Seeing Haechan unravel before you has you pulling back your wrists. Sitting back into the chair more comfortably you let out a long exhausted breath. “I lost the will to fight, Haechan. I was tired. I was scared, I was disgusted with myself most of all. I ended up pregnant because I thought I could win. Like the stupid idiot I am, I thought by showing him what he believed was love I could be let out of my cage, but I was wrong and ended up pregnant all while simultaneously trapping myself in a whole new cage.”

“Why did the wedding even happen then? Why didn’t you give us a sign?”

“I was a zombie for the longest time. I didn’t feel anything. I was only alive and breathing because of the child I was carrying. Everything else didn’t matter to me. So, I put on a mask and played a role. Even if I wanted to say something, he would have stopped me or tried to switch the subject. I hesitated for the tiniest second while I was standing before the judge with him, his hands holding mine – for a millisecond I was going to tell the judge as quickly as possible I was being held against my will, but with a strong squeeze of his hand in mine, I knew he would stop me the moment I tried.”

Suddenly a knock is placed on the door. Haechan quickly wipes his tears away before standing up. “Give me a second. Do you need anything at all? A drink? Something to eat from the vending machine?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Walking out of the interrogation room, Haechan closes the door behind him seeing Mikayla is the culprit who interrupted him. “Why did you call me out here?” He rolls his eyes in annoyance. “We were finally getting somewhere.”

Mikayla tilts her head, “that’s not what I saw. By the way, she’s innocent. Her entire body language is screaming it so you can cut her some slack. Also, if someone was willing to work out the relationship after that shit show, they are in love. Whether or not it’s a strange form of Stockholm Syndrome is a topic for another day. But, that’s only a part of why I pulled you out here,” she hands Haechan a vanilla colored folder. “It seems you’re going to be working on this case for a little bit longer.”

“What do you,” he opens the folder, his eyes scanning over the documents. “Mean…?” He looks up shocked.

“I know,” she sighs. “Good luck, you’re going to need it.”

Slapping him on the back she takes her leave. “What the fuck did you do, Jaemin?” Haechan whispers.

Haechan returns to the room with a somber look on his face. He heads straight to the table, and presses the pause button again, starting the recording once more. “You mentioned things were getting better?” He asks tirelessly.

“U-Ummm, y-yes…” You eye him suspiciously. “When our son was born he actually was ready to turn himself in. Two months prior we had a discussion and he asked me how he could make everything up to me. I knew he was sorry. I could tell with just a glance into his eyes he regretted everything, but he did what he did. I wasn’t going to forgive and forget all the pain he caused just because he spoke the words ‘I’m sorry.’ I told him the only way that he could make up for even the smallest bit of what he did was to turn himself in. He said he would, but asked for one thing and that was to see the birth of his son.

“However, just after he saw his son for the first time he was talking about making arrangements for the two of us to be well taken care of in his absence. I knew what he was talking about. I knew why he was saying everything. He asked for one thing, I obliged and he was prepared to face the consequences, but I don’t know what came over me. I didn't want him to leave. I didn’t want him to be in prison miserable, and long for the life he could have had if he didn’t fuck it up in the first place. I told him I thought it would have made him crazier if I kept him away from his kid. So, I asked instead that he seek professional help and if he did I would keep his secret.

“If I’m being honest I wouldn’t have told anyone of his wrong doings. So, the next day he sought help and went every week to a therapist. In the beginning we both went and talked about what our issues were but afterwards it was Jaemin who needed the help. He never broke that promise to me. Then, on my birthday things started to change. I don’t know if you remember the birthday party he threw for me but that’s the moment I decided to give him a second chance.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Happy! Birthday! To! You!!!!” Everyone sings out.

Eyes brimming with tears you glance around at all of the smiling faces. Everyone showed up for your big day. Your mom, dad, all of Jaemin’s friends, and of course your sweet little guy all day has made it his mission to make you the happiest mom on the planet. Blowing out your candles your only wish is to have more days like this.

“Thanks everyone,” you wipe your eyes before any tears fall onto your cheeks. “But you really didn’t need to do this.”

“Are you kidding?” Chenle chuckles. “How else are we going to get free food?” He jokes.

“Plus, we technically didn’t do anything,” Renjun wraps his arm around Jaemin’s shoulders. “This guy right here planned everything. He just told all of us when and where and we showed up.”

“Y-You did this?” You ask Jaemin.

Scratching the back of his head he nods bashfully. “We haven’t really celebrated your birthday. I thought I would give you a birthday to remember.”

Without realizing you spring up from your chair and wrap him in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Jaemin, truly.”

His face falls into the crook of your neck, his arms wrapping around you tightly. “Anything for you…” He whispers. And just like that the moment was gone. “So, who wants cake?” He asks stepping away from you.

One by one your friends and parents come up for a slice of cake, laughing and smiling together as if these people were always meant to be in your life. As if this very moment was supposed to happen all along. Placing a hand on your shoulder, Jeno leans down, handing you a piece of cake.

“Happy Birthday,” he gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Ehhh?!!” Haechan starts pointing. “What do we have here?! I didn’t know we could kiss the birthday girl!” He puts down his cake and charges towards you.

“N-No!! Haechan!” You start backing away.

“Don’t you dare run from me, woman!” He starts laughing while approaching you. “Now give your favorite person in the world a kiss,” he puckers his lips.

“YAH!!!!” You scream but a giggle comes from you when he starts chasing you around the backyard.

“Mama!!!” Your son giggles. “Run, mama!!! Run!!!”

“I’m trying, baby!!!”

“Al…Most!!!! THERE!!!!!”

Haechan sprints for you, reaching out his hand when you collide into a body knocking the person down. A low grunt comes from beneath you. Quickly scrambling off of the victim you see Jaemin was the person who you crashed into.

“Jaemin!” You squeak. “A-Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Snickering, he sits up smiling at you. “I’m fine, but I couldn’t let anyone else kiss you before I kissed you.”

Suddenly your heart skips a beat. His smile softens, his hand reaching out for yours as he pulls you down to him. Gulping your eyes scan his for some sign that he’s joking, that he wasn’t really going to kiss you especially not in front of everyone. Behind you you hear Haechan complaining that Jaemin stole you away, but his complaints are soon muffled by the pounding in your ears, your heart picking up speed the closer Jaemin’s lips get closer to you.

“Happy Birthday,” he whispers and just as your eyes flutter, and the tips of your noses touch, he slides his hand around your neck pulling you down to him. “I love you,” his warm minty breath cascades down onto your face and just when it feels like he’s going to kiss your lips he pulls you down further to give you a kiss on your forehead.

He chuckles, sliding away from you. “Go ahead, Haechan,” he winks at his friend. “Okay so who hasn’t gotten a piece of cake yet?” He asks everyone.

“Me daddy! Me!”

“What?!!! Well come here!” Jaemin scoops up your son into his arms and walks off with him.

“Well, now you’re all mine,” Haechan’s voice brings you back to the reality you’re about to face. Before you can even object, he plants a wet kiss on your cheek. “Finally!” He laughs. “Now I can get back to my cake!”

Sauntering off, head held high you’re left on the ground still in shock. Your mind races with thoughts you’ve kept quiet for the past five years. Feelings you thought were completely gone, but now have resurfaced. 

How? When?

“Need any help?”

Looking up, Jeno has his hand stretched out. “Uh, yeah, thanks.” You take hold of his hand and he helps you up.

“Don’t mind Haechan, he's just being…well, himself.” He laughs. “I guess I should say sorry for starting all of this.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. Really.”

“Now, I know that you haven’t opened any of your gifts yet, but I wanted to give you mine personally.” He holds out a cutely wrapped box with a sparkly pink bow wrapped around it. “It’s nothing much but I saw it and thought you’d like it.”

“Je-Jeno…” you feel tears starting to well up in your eyes again. “You didn’t need to get me anything. You’ve done so much already,” you unwrap the gift to find what looks like a jewelry box inside. “Wh-What is this?” You ask opening it.

Inside is a beautiful silver heart-shaped locket. Pulling it out, he instructs you to open it and when you do one half has a picture of your son, the other, a picture of yourself, but only you. A little surprised he takes the locket from your hands.

“I had asked Jaemin what I could get for you. He said he had no idea and to get you something that would make you happy. So I said what about a locket with all three of you inside, but he said to make it extra special for you and have it of you and your favorite person in the world.”

Jeno claps the latch for you, and the new piece of jewelry dangles around your neck. “He’s a dumbass,” you mumble.

“He is, but I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.” Jeno laughs.

Reaching in, you hug Jeno tightly. “In any case, I love this. Thank you, Jeno.”

“No problem,” he hugs you back just as tight. “And just between the two of us, inside the box there are alternate pictures for you to put into the locket, but don’t tell the dumbass I told you.”

“I won’t!” You start giggling.

The rest of the party went by without a hitch. You couldn’t have spent your birthday any better than how you spent it today. Being around those who you’re close to and sharing such a beautiful memory will go down as one of your favorite birthday’s to date, and the best part, having your little guy part of this big day as well.

“Rest well, sweetie.” You kiss your son on the cheek.

“Night night mommy,” he yawns.

Quietly you exit his room, but not before turning on his nightlight. Closing the door halfway, you peek at him one more time before heading back downstairs. In search of your husband, you head straight for the kitchen where he was last seen hunched over doing the dishes. His back turned to you, you watch him quietly. Leaning your back against the wall, your hands grow clammy as you attempt to speak to him. For the past five years you’ve barely uttered a word to him that didn’t have a purpose behind it. Not knowing how to talk to him anymore you clear your throat before walking up to the kitchen table.

Turning around at the sound of you clearing your throat, his sleeves rolled up to the bend of his arm, an apron wrapped around his waist, Jaemin stares shocked to see you… alone, in the kitchen… with him. 

“Ummm, I… I thought I would tell you juniors in his room sleeping, so if you wanted to say goodnight you might have to do so at the door.” You mumble.

Nodding, Jaemin turns back to the dishes and continues. “I’ll do that. Thanks for letting me know.”

Your fingers run down your face, exasperatedly – pulling at your bottom lids, as they stop at your cheekbones. Was talking to him always so hard? You ask yourself. “I, uh, I wanted to say thanks for today. I really appreciate it. You didn’t have to go through all the trouble, but I’m truly grateful.”

Shaking his head he turns to place a dish on the drying rack where you see the faintest hint of a smile. “It was no trouble at all. You’re a terrific mom and I wanted to do something to celebrate you. There’s no need to thank me.”

“No,” you move from the kitchen table, and head straight for him. “I really do need to thank you and for more than just the party. I’ve given you a hard time these past couple of years and while I want to apologize, I still feel like because of what happened I shouldn’t.”

Placing down the dish cloth in his hands he turns to you. “You shouldn’t apologize. What I did… I should be on my knees everyday thanking you for allowing me to be in our son’s life.”

Holding up your hands you shake your head in protest. “I want to make things better between the two of us. I want our son to grow up in a healthy household. So, I believe in order to do this I should change the picture on the one side of the locket.”

Jaemin snickers and returns to washing the dishes. “Jeno told you what I said?”

“He did. While I don’t know how to feel exactly you deserve to be in the locket as well. I wouldn’t have been able to raise our son by myself. Those first few months when he wasn’t sleeping you stayed up with him every night so I could rest. You fed him, bathed him, and played with him more than I did and it was all because you saw how exhausted I was. You’ve sacrificed so much of yourself for him as well as me.”

“It’s the least I could do after everything. I’ve royally fucked up my life, your life, and our sons’ life.”

“Jaemin…” You whisper while your heart pounds in your ears.

Turning to face you his eyes widen when your lips press against his. You hear the dish cloth plop into the water and immediately after, Jaemin grabs hold of your upper arms and pushes you away from him.

“Pl-Please…” he keeps you at arms length, his head bowing down before you. “You don’t want… You can’t do this.”

“Why can’t I do this?”

“You’re not in the right headspace. What I’ve done to you, you shouldn’t even have to look at me unless absolutely needed. Please, just get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”

“No,” you place your hand on top of his. “I kissed you because I wanted to. And if you wouldn’t mind lowering your arms, I would like to kiss you again. That is, if you’re okay with it.”

Jaemin’s arms start to lower, but he keeps a firm hold of you. “I don’t deserve your kindness… I don’t deserve your… your…” his voice gets softer and softer as you draw closer to him.

“What I give you from here on out will be what you deserve for your actions going forward. I want us to have a clean slate,” your hand slides up his chest, causing him to shrink inward. “I want what could have been, what should be, and what may be a life with you.”

Your hand travels up from his neck, skates over his collar bone, to his neck as you pull him closer to you. His eyes flutter wildly as if he’s unsure if he should accept this or flee. Then again, your eyes were doing the same weird dance as his. His pulse pounds crazily against the palm of your hand, mirroring your own. A strange desire to feel his lips on yours, and possibly (at least you hope) yours on his. Mere inches apart, Jaemin’s hand slides onto your hip making you gasp, and before you know it, his lips land on yours. 

Not wasting a single second, you wrap your arms around his shoulders trapping him in your grasp. He complies, by wrapping you in a tight embrace as well. Your lips sliding across each other’s in a feverish kiss. It felt like after years of fighting, years of distance, years of hatred, pain and hidden lust — everything was pouring out from the two of you in one single moment.

Jaemin’s tongue skates across your bottom lip asking for entrance and as if you’ve been kissing him this whole time your lips part. The once sweet gentle kiss turns to hot then wet in a matter of seconds. Your tongues sliding across each other’s a battle for dominance ensues and has both of you breathing heavy. Jaemin’s lips wrap around your tongue and immediately you become putty in his hands. Your knees give way, and quickly he pushes you against the counter for support. Holding your face in his hands he switches between sucking the shit out of your tongue, and shoving his down your throat.

Eyes watering, you grip onto him for dear life while you try to keep your wits about you. Pulling back for air both of you breathe heavily. His skin kissed with redness as he stares into your eyes like he did that night when he stole your heart. The memory smacks you in the face and before you can think about anything else, you grab the hem of your shirt and rip it over your head – tossing it onto the floor next to the two of you.

Scrambling, Jaemin unties his apron from his waist, and with shaky fingers you unbutton his button down shirt until he swiftly throws it down with yours. Your bottom lip snags between your teeth as you stare at the still sexy man in front of you. His muscles, though smaller still have your legs clenching together tightly. Jaemin grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in for another kiss, this time softer, this time sweeter.

“Where to?” He mumbles against your lips.

“Your room?” You ask. “I don’t want to risk the chance of you know who seeing.”

“A little risk adds to the excitement of it all,” his lips travel from yours and down to your neck.

“And last time was my father, I don’t want this time to be our son.” Jaemin clamps down on your neck roughly causing you to moan. “J-Jaemin… please…” You beg.

Turning from you, he grabs hold of your hand and both of you rush out of the kitchen a lightness in your steps and a massive amount of giggles coming from you.

Maybe this can actually work out, just maybe…

The moment you enter Jaemin’s room, he closes the door behind you and locks it. Pressing you against it, his lips capture yours. The moment your lips touch, everything becomes blurry as you sink into the lust you’ve kept at bay. Jaemin’s hand grabs hold of your waist, pulling you closer to him. He nips your bottom lip before his lips travel to your cheeks and back down to your neck. Your eyes flutter, a smile rests on your face – lord knows how badly you’ve needed this moment, to feel someone touch you, kiss you, and caress you.

Suddenly you feel a sense of freedom. Looking down, you find your bra straps inching down past your shoulders. Giggling, you quirk a brow at Jaemin who smirks before stealing another kiss from you.

“I need to see your body again,” he confesses.

Wiggling out of your bra, he throws it across his room. His eyes go from yours down to your face, to your décolletage, and down to your breasts. Feeling a little shy, you cover yourself, but he grabs hold of your wrists pulling your arms apart.

“Never cover yourself. You’re still as beautiful as the first day I saw you,” he reassures.

“R-Really?” You ask, your face warming up by the second.

“Actually,” he takes a step back, his hand resting under his chin as he glances you over, a dark hunger in his gaze. “Now that I’m looking at you, I have to say no.”

Your head shoots up in shock, eyes instantly becoming watery. “Wh-What?”

“You’re even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.” He smiles sweetly. “It must be the glow of a strong, beautiful woman and mother,” he wraps an arm around you. “Honestly, you’re a lot hotter than before too.”

“Jae-Jaemin!!!!” You slap his bare chest lightly.

“If things go well,” he dips his head down placing a kiss at the center of your décolletage, “maybe we should try again – this time however, with both of us on board.” He glances up at you.

“You mean another little one?”

His lips slide to one of your breasts. Jaemin keeps a firm hold of you, your back arching up as he wraps his lips around your nipple. Nodding he sucks on the erect bud before giving it a playful nibble causing you to squeak. With one final suckle he pulls back smiling from ear to ear.

“That is, if you’re okay with the idea.”

Whether it was the crazy storm of emotions roaring through your body, the lust of wanting Jaemin to take you here and now, or deep down you would love to see your little boy have a brother or sister to play with – you eagerly wrap your arms around him, jumping up and down where you stand.

“Let’s do it!”

Jaemin chuckles as he watches you turn into the cutest person in the world before him. “Are you sure? I mean we could talk to Dr. Kwon and see if she –”

“Na Jaemin!” You state firmly. “If you do not drag me over to your bed and plow into me in the next two seconds I will never forgive you for ruining the moment!”

Before you even realize it, you’re dragged from the door and flung onto the bed with Jaemin crawling on top of you. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I ruined this moment. Your wish is my command, my love.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Haechan covers his mouth as he turns from you. “So essentially you two –” he becomes quiet.

“Had sex and started to restore our relationship? Yes, we did.”

“But that was a long time ago. There is no saying things didn’t turn south once more.”

“It was not even three years ago, Haechan. How can you think that I would not only lie to you about what happened but actually hurt my husband? Yes, in the past I was in a different head space but that doesn’t mean that I was or am even remotely in the same headspace. We were once a family. I know what I was about to do was wrong. I know, I understand and I myself regret telling you. It was something that Jaemin and I promised we would never bring up again.”

Glancing your way, his face looking exhausted he asks, “did he really do those terrible things to you?”

Standing up you grab your purse. “If you want to know the specifics of Jaemin’s state of mind and what happened to not only myself but to him, I suggest talking to Dr. Kwon. I stopped seeing her personally after the first year. I got what I could from her, but Jaemin –  he kept his promise to me, he promised he would keep going so nothing like what he put me through would happen again, and he kept it! And I kept my promise as well by keeping my mouth shut of all the shitty things he did to me.

“The only people we ever told were Dr. Kwon, apparently Jeno (which I didn’t know Jaemin told him), and now you – or should I say and now anyone and everyone who will hear that stunt you pulled. You can be mad all you want, you can hate me, you can try to end my life yourself because what I did was terrible! But unless you were there, unless you went through what I did you have no fucking idea how badly I wanted to escape, how badly I wanted to get back to my life, to my parents!”

Opening your purse you take out one of Dr. Kwon’s business cards you took from her office. Slamming the card down onto the interrogation table in front of Haechan you turn to the door. “Call her before coming back to talk to me. I’m not running and I’m not hiding anymore. But I swear to you Haechan, I didn’t hurt him. I could never hurt him!”

You head to the door and just as you are stepping out Haechan calls your name, halting you before you take one more step. “The body,” he utters. “It’s not…it wasn’t,” he twitches with irritation. “The body wasn’t Jaemin and there are absolutely no traces of a dog there at all.”

Slowly you turn back to him, eyes widened and mouth hung open in shock. “What did you just say?”

“When I was called out I was handed that vanilla folder.” He looks down at the table before him, your eyes following as you both stare at the folder sitting haphazardly at the table's edge. “Inside is the report from not only the coroner, but also the officers on site and pictures of the scene. It’s of a person’s body, badly burnt, but they are not Jaemin’s remains. According to the coroner they seem to belong to someone by the name of, Michael Krest. Do you know who this person is?” He asks.

In that moment your body gives out and you crash to the floor, hard. “Shit!” Haechan rushes over. “Help! Please!” Within seconds multiple officers plow through the door, some almost running both you and Haechan over in their haste. “Please someone get me a water and damp towel. She just fell.” He orders the others.

“On it!” You hear one of them speak.

“You know who the man is don’t you?” Haechan asks you while you’re lifted off the floor and placed back in the chair. “Who is he?”

How can this be? You haven’t seen him in years. What was he doing at your house? Why was he at your house? And why is he dead?!

“Here’s the water!” The officer who left rushes over to you handing you the bottle but instead of taking it from him, he starts to freak out. “Ma’am, ma’am,” he gets down on his haunches trying to get you to respond. “Ma’am, please say something…”

“H…H…” you huff out the sound of the letter h.

“H?” He looks at Haechan who shrugs.

“He’s…He’s…” your body starts to tremble. “H-How?” You look at Haechan. “HOW?!” You scream as if you’re seconds from being killed – scaring Haechan, everyone in the room and those outside of it. “Why in the hell was he at our home? Why is he dead? How did he die?!!! What the fuck is going on?” You grab at the roots of your hair. “I dumped him!!!! I haven’t seen him since I left him?! Why the hell was he at my home?”

“He’s an ex?” Haechan glances down at the folder shocked.

“He never tried to contact me before. I never heard from him after I left him. Why was he at my house?” You ask Haechan, tears pouring from your eyes.

Scratching the back of his neck his eyes dart from the folder to you. “I believe I’m supposed to ask you that question.”

“Well how the fuck do I know?!” You scream once again – this time those not involved in the interrogation slowly start exiting the room, leaving Haechan alone to face your wrath. “Honestly,” your bottom lip quivers. “I haven’t seen him since I broke up with his cheating ass. There’s absolutely no reason for him to have been at my house. Hell, how did he even find me?!”

“There is a reason for him to have been at your house, and that reason is you. As to how he got there, I don’t know, did your parents meet him or something?”

“Yeah they met him once or twice in the later stages of our relationship. I thought he was going to be the one before I found him balls deep in some slut backstage.”

“Backstage?” Haechan raises a curious brow.

“He’s in a band, or was… I guess… When I saw him cheating on me I dumped him right then and there. I even cleared out his belongings from my apartment and left them at the front desk for him so I wouldn’t have to deal with him personally.”

“So you had an issue with him as well?”

Your head whips around towards Haechan, a furious glare in your eyes. Not again, not this time. He will NOT try to blame you for Michael’s death.

“Did I have an issue with him, yes I did. I was cheated on. I caught him in the act of cheating. I was pissed the fuck off – hence throwing his stuff into boxes and taking them down to the front desk. I didn’t hear from him after a simple apology note after a week of me catching him, with a simple ‘I’m sorry ~ Michael’ on it. I never once looked for him, or cared to look for him. But despite the dislike I have for him I would never wish any harm such as this to come to him. I swear, Haechan. I do not know why he was at our home.”

“I believe you,” he rubs the bridge of his nose. “But now we have a whole new set of problems. Why was he at your home in the first place? What happened to him prior to the fire before his death which appears to be smoke inhalation due to the fire. And where the fuck is Jaemin?”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Wiggling about in ecstasy on the couch, your hands at the bend of your knees while your legs are spread wide open for Jaemin – you let out whimper after whimper as he runs his fingers up and down your glistening folds. His eyes staring daggers into yours, he watches as you come undone before him.

“J-Jaemin,” you cry out. “Please!!!”

Snickering he brings his fingers up to his lips and one by one he slides his fingers into his mouth coating them in his saliva. When he’s finished he brings his fingers back down to your pulsating core and slides them over your sensitive nub.

“Does my baby need a little attention?” He asks you sweetly.

“Mmmm…” you respond, lips clenched tightly together.

With the flick of his middle finger he starts to toy with your clit. Closing your eyes tightly you do your best not to make a single sound that would wake your sleeping child. At night and his nap time are the only times the two of you manage to have time for yourselves. And while you were expecting a little quickie when your baby is asleep – the sensational feeling of Jaemin teasing and edging you has you thinking otherwise.

“Wow, look at this,” he grabs your attention. Holding up his hand he shows you how his fingers are now coated in your juices. “You’re so wet baby,” he smiles before popping each finger into his mouth. “So good,” he hums delightfully. “But I think you can do better, don’t you?”

“B-Better?” Your body starts to grow warm all over. The goosebumps you felt in the beginning have multiplied, your breathing starts to get faster turning into small pants. Your toes wiggle and curl the more he rubs his fingers over your bundle of nerves.

“Yes, a lot better, or should I say wetter?” He gives you the darkest smirk you’ve ever seen before plunging two of his fingers into you.

Your head and eyes roll back as your grip on your legs tighten. “Jae-Jaemin!!!” You squeak. Chucking with glee, he lowers his head down to your pulsing clit and slurps up all of your juices he’s caused to spill from you. “Shit!!!” You say a little too loudly.

“Shhh, baby, don’t wake him.” Jaemin warns. “I have another round planned for us during this break.” He smiles against you.

“Th-Then go easy on me, please…” you beg.

“I can’t do that, not when you’re this irresistible.”

And with that he dives down again smothering his face into your folds. His tongue and fingers working together at lightning speed to push you closer and closer to the edge. Your chest rises and falls quickly, your mouth hangs open as saliva trails down onto your chest. Small whimpers and moans keep coming from you the more Jaemin lapse over you and rams his fingers inside of you.

“Jae-Jae-Jae…” you can’t get out his whole name as your body starts to loosen up from your grip. Your hands unclenching from your knees has them lowering down to Jaemin, but with a quick reaction he catches one of your legs which causes you to stop.

Popping his head up for a second, his lips swollen and coated in your slick he gives your clit a little lick which has you clenching around his fingers. “Keep your legs up and open for me baby. As much as I wouldn’t mind being smothered by your thighs, I want to see your beautiful face when you cum, okay?”

“Shit!” You clench around his fingers once more.

“Tell me when I’ve found the spot, alright baby?”

“Mmmmmm…” you slide down further into the couch.

Curling his fingers inside of you, Jaemin feels around trying to find your most sensitive spot. Only having found it a few other times (purely by accident as he pounded his cock inside of you until you came around him) the exact location is still trying to be blueprinted. While one hand is coaxing you into bliss, his other hand hovers over your clit, his middle finger occasionally brushing against you.

“Jaemin!” You whine.

“Not until you tell me when I’ve gotten the right spot,” he pulls his fingers out of you, but not completely.

“WAIT!” You gasp, alarming him. “Slowly push them back in,” you instruct.

Doing as instructed, Jaemin pushes his fingers back inside of you until he feels your body shake below him. Not needing a word of confirmation he curls his fingers, and goes to town pushing you beyond your wildest dreams. In a matter of seconds you go from feeling wonderful, sweetly nestled into the couch – to scrambling to sit up a little, almost as if to get away while Jaemin’s fingers work you over from both inside and out.   

“Jae-Jae-Jae!!!” You start chanting. “Faster, faster!!!!!” Foregoing your clit, Jaemin holds onto his wrist and uses both his arms to shove his fingers inside of you. “Yes! Yes! Yes!!!” You scream behind your hand to keep your voice to a minimum.

Suddenly a burst from you has your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your body quivering and shaking. Your hands grip onto the couch while wet noises come from you and fill the room along with your panting.

“That’s my girl!!!!” Jaemin smiles proudly when he sees your pussy squirting, coating his forearm, fingers, shirt and lap. “I knew you could do it.”

As you come down from your high, Jaemin drinks up the remaining juices that drip from you before standing up. “Ready for round two?” He asks while unzipping his pants. Not saying a word you open your arms wide for him – inviting him into your space to do whatever he pleases. Sliding out of his jeans and briefs he runs his soaked fingers up and down his shaft while his bottom lip is trapped between his teeth. “Shit, baby…” he runs his other hand through his newly dyed blonde locks. “I could get off just staring at you like this.”

“No…” you pout and whine sitting up onto the couch. “I want you inside of me,” you pull him towards you, his hand moving away from his cock. “Deep,” you take hold of his length. “Deep,” you give the tip a little smooch. “Deep inside of me,” you state before wrapping your lips around him, sliding your mouth and tongue up and down his shaft coating it with your saliva.

“Fuck,” he curses. “Keep it up and I’ll need to eat you out again before I’m ready to go once more,” he chuckles.

Pulling back a sinister look on your face and a speck of mischief in your eyes you wiggle your tongue across the slit of his cock. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“Neither would I,” he pulls back from you, dipping down for a kiss. “But like you said so sexily, I want to be buried deep,” he starts moving down to you, your body moving away allowing him more space on the couch. “Deep,” he hikes up one of your legs while he settles in between them. “Deep inside of you,” he mumbles against your lips as he slides his cock inside of you.

Hissing at the feeling of entering you, he resituates himself until he’s comfortable. “We’ll need a third, fourth, and fifth round tonight.” He chuckles and starts to move in and out of you. “Fuck baby,” he smiles while ramming his hip into yours, your hands instinctively go to his wrists as you hold on tight. “You feel so good…” he grunts and starts moving faster driving you deeper and deeper into the couch.

Your hips meet every single thrust of his pushing both of you further into sensuous bliss…

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Sitting in the car next to Jeno your mind races while your fingers are snagged between your teeth. What the hell is really going on? Your leg shakes nervously as the conversation with Haechan replays before your eyes again and again. Jaemin…He’s… but if he was why hasn’t he shown himself yet? If he was alive he wouldn’t just leave you and his son alone, right?

As you draw closer to your old neighborhood the memories of that fateful day start to replay before your eyes…

‘Babe,’ you call out to Jaemin who was upstairs in his office. ‘Can you come down here please?’

‘Mama, where are we going?’ Tiny little hands tug on your shirt.

‘Well, we’re going to have a little picnic so I can tell daddy some good news!’ You boop your son's nose.

‘What news?’

Playfully putting your hands on your hips, you puff out your cheeks. ‘Not so fast you little trickster. You’ll know when daddy knows.’

Mocking your pose he pouts. ‘But I wanna know now!’ He whines.

‘What do you want to know, little man?’ Jaemin swoops down picking him up and causing both of you to giggle.

‘Mama has a secret to tell us!’ He squeals with laughter as Jaemin throws him over his shoulder.

‘A secret? What is this secret?’ His brows wiggle.

Sighing you shake your head and turn to the picnic basket you have in your hands. ‘Like father like son,’ you wave both of them off. ‘I was hoping you could spare the afternoon for a nice picnic at the park. We can bring Nana and the boys with us too!’

Huffing behind you, you leap forward at the familiar growl of discontent from Nana. ‘Speak of the devil (literally…)’ You whisper under your breath.

‘I…’ Jaemin puts your son down, sighing. ‘Why don’t you go outside and play with Nana and the boys, okay buddy?’

‘Okay!’ He squeaks and pats his tiny lap. ‘Come on Nana, let’s go play!’

Rushing out of the kitchen you watch your son and the happiest demon dog to ever walk the face of the earth, gleefully leave out the front door to the front yard.

‘Babe, I can’t go out this afternoon. I’m expecting a call from a client. Is there any way we can reschedule?’

‘I thought that call wasn’t going to be until tonight,’ your shoulders start to slump forward. ‘Can’t you just bring your cell phone and step away when the call comes through?’

‘It’s a business call, you know I don’t take them on my personal phone. Plus, it’s an important call. I can’t exactly bring on a new client while our son is screaming –” as if knowing his cue both of you jump at the sound of your son's laughter coming through the opened door. ‘See,’ he points to the door. ‘I can’t have that going on.’

‘But I mean… not even for two hours? You can’t spare us two hours?’

Running an exasperated hand through his hair, he looks from you to the basket, to your son. ‘Really babe, I’d love to but I can’t… Not this time…’

‘I see…’ you turn from him and grab the picnic basket. ‘I guess we’ll just go and give you the evening to have your business call. We’ll be back after dark.’ You head out of the kitchen and into the living room.

‘Babe! Please!’ Jaemin shouts behind you. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘I understand, Jaemin.’ You wave him off. ‘Sweetie, head over to the car and I’ll meet you there.’ You shout to your son.

‘Why does daddy look sad?’ He stops immediately when he sees Jaemin’s solemn expression.

‘Daddy can’t join us, he has a very important phone call to make.’ You bend down to him and stroke the top of his head. ‘He said he’ll join us another day.’

‘B-But the sandwiches, the secret…’ he looks back at Jaemin. ‘Daddy we need to hear mama’s secret…’

Glancing at you, you quickly turn from Jaemin. ‘We’ll find out another time buddy. Don’t worry I’ll make sure mommy doesn’t forget.’

‘Promise?’ He walks up to Jaemin holding out his tiny pink finger.

‘I promise…’ Jaemin bends down to him and wraps his finger around his baby boy's finger. ‘Now, as the man I’m going to need you to protect your mom for me while we’re apart, okay?’ He asks. ‘If any strange person tries to approach her, what do you do?’

‘GET BACK YOU CREEPY MAN!!!!!!!’ Your son shouts loud enough to scare both you and Jaemin. ‘Right, daddy?!’ He asks proudly.

Holding back a laugh, you roll your eyes. ‘That’s right,’ he gives him a kiss on the cheek before standing up. ‘Really, I’m sorry. We’ll do this again soon, okay?’ His eyes quiver with uncertainty.

Nodding, you take hold of your little boy's hand. ‘Of course, I still have a secret to tell.’

‘I’ll see you when you get back sweetie,’ he wraps his arm around your waist bringing you in for a sweet kiss.

‘Maybe we’ll be back a little earlier than expected,’ you wink. ‘Okay, let’s get to the park before all the good swings are taken!’

‘YEAH!!!!!!!!’

‘Be safe!’ Jaemin shouts as you leave through the front door.

‘We will. We’ll be back in about two hours.’

‘I’ll be here!’ He waves before closing the door.

Just as you were heading for the garage you realize you left the bag that has a blanket and a few treats and toys for the dogs inside.

‘Sweetie, come back here for a second. Mommy forgot something inside.’ You call back to your son. He runs back up to you with the two boy dogs, Nana having walked into the home after you parted with Jaemin. ‘Do you remember where you left mommy’s bag with the blanket inside?’

‘I left it by the door.’ He points to the front door.

‘Okay we just need to –’

Shaking your head you stop the rest of that memory from resurfacing. In the matter of seconds a loud, powerful, gust of wind blasted through the door sending both you and your son back and the dogs running away. Covering him up with your body you kept him safe from what felt like a raging ball of fire spewing from inside of your home.

When you felt it was safe enough to move you told your little boy to run and to not look back, but you yourself looked back to see your beautiful home engulfed in a beastly fire. Tears poured down onto your face, your legs froze where you stood – your heart reaching out to where you knew Jaemin was still inside. Almost dragging you back to the fiery beast if not for your son’s small hand clenching your own – no one could have survived that… not even…

Pulling into his driveway Jeno parks his car, turns it off and immediately you hear a tired breath come from him. “What happened?” He turns to you. “What happened with Haechan? You’ve been eerily quiet since I picked you up. Did he say something? Or,” he pauses and gulps loudly. “Did he try to hurt you again?”

“Jeno,” you whisper quietly. “What are the odds of someone surviving that fire?”

Taken aback he takes off his seatbelt so he can turn to you. “What are you talking about? You were there… and I drove back a few days after. Your house is completely leveled. No one, not even Superman himself could have survived that fire.”

“The police found a body…”

“Yeah but we both knew that, remember? That’s why you were down there to talk about the body. Did they prove you didn’t do anything?” He takes hold of your hand worriedly. “Is this mess going to end?”

“Not even close,” slowly your head turns to Jeno, a wild look in your eyes. “The body they found wasn’t Jaemin’s. It was of Michael Krest…”

“Michael Krest, who the hell is that?”

“My ex-boyfriend.”

Jeno drops your hand from his ever so slowly as he leans back, his back now resting against his car door. “What the…”

“Jeno, I think Jaemin is alive… and I think… he had someone else trapped in that maze after me…”

Speechless, both you and Jeno sit in his car in an eerie silence. Both of your heads spinning out of control with the news that you’ve just found out and uttered. Jeno was right, no one could have possibly lived through that fire, hence Michael’s body. The real questions still remain: why was Michael at your home in the first place? Did Jaemin do something terrible to him? Did he lock him down in the maze as he did to you? What caused that explosion? Is Jaemin still alive and if so, how did he escape? Is Nana with him? If he did escape and is out there why hasn’t he come to get you and your son?

“We-We should get inside and you can tell me everything that happened at the precinct. Alright?” Jeno asks in a shaky voice. “None of this makes sense…”

“You’re telling me,” you sigh, undoing your seatbelt. “Haechan did say that he was going to stop by at the end of the week so maybe he’ll have found more information by then. I just… none of this makes any sense, Jeno. None of it…”

“I’m sorry,” he reaches out and places his hand on top of yours once more. “I’m sorry for everything he’s caused and is still causing. I should have said something years ago when I found out, but I…”

Shaking your head you pat the top of his hand. “It’s okay, I did this to myself. I chose him once, then hated him, chose him again, and now I just have question after question for him. Maybe when this is all said and done I’ll finally have all the answers to them, hopefully that is.”

“Yeah, hopefully...”

Jeno gets out of the car and quickly comes over to your side and opens the door for you, and helps you get out. Giving you a secure arm to lean against the two of you walk up to his house to find a piece of paper taped to his front door, with your name on it.

“Were you expecting someone?” Jeno asks, taking the paper and handing it to you while he opens the door.

“No,” you open it up. “I…”

Immediately all the blood drains from your face, and for the second time your knees give out and you fall to the ground.

“Yah!!!!” Jeno quickly grabs hold of you and pulls you back to your feet. “What happened? Are you okay? Here, let’s get you inside…”

“Jeno…” you start crying. “Jeno….”

“What happened? What hurts?” He leads you to the couch in his living room. Crouching down in front of you, he holds the side of your face in his hands as he looks at you terrified. “What is it?” Holding out the paper to him, it shakes and jiggles frantically in your grasp. “The note?” He asks. Taking it from you he opens it and just like you, the blood drains from his face and he falls back onto his butt on the floor. “What the fuck is going on?”

Rule 8, if the hunter finds himself incapable of being the hunter then the title of hunter goes to his former prey. When this change happens it is now the new hunters job to seek out the prey.

Come find me, hunter.

~ Jaemin

[neutron-stars-collision]

I’m starting a “debunking bullshit” list because I’m tired of this shit. Warning: it’s long. And possible with typos lol. So, if you want logical approach, Luke-centred bc that’s just my angle, here it is:

- Luke and Nicola are just friends. Very good friends, with cool chemistry and a close bond, but friends. Here’s to hoping all this fandom drama doesn’t destroy that.

- I doubt they’re “beefing” because why would they be? Two adults, who have known each other for the past five years, are both likely in relationships and maybe had been since before the press tour. There’s no reason to beef and no signs are actually pointing to that as soon as you drop the Lukola-tinted glasses.

- If there’s anything they want to discuss, share, vent, they do it in private, not via social media. They’re not petty teenagers.

- Related to that: Instagram activity and interaction doesn’t mean shit about their actual relationship. Lack of comments/likes doesn’t mean they are arguing.

- Sometimes, an ig story is just that. Not a secret message. Luke posting about travelling (maybe with his girlfriend) is not “trolling” - it’s choosing to share something with fans and hoping they’re normal (fans failed, I’m afraid).

- Same with Nicola. The plane story wasn’t a secret message, it was her thanking an airline and sharing something alongside it. The fact that it came after Luke’s story is just a coincidence.

- Both Luke and Nicola aren’t obliged to share anything with us - relationships, plans, etc. If they choose to do so, we have no right to expect anything from them.

- Neither Luke nor Nicola should need to “hard launch” relationships on socials for us to see. It’s as official as all four involved parties want it to be. If Luke chooses to never post A, then it’s likely because he doesn’t want to deal with the shitshow.

- They haven’t manipulated you with the press tour. They offered as much as they were comfortable with, never lied that they’re more than friends. If anyone has manipulated anyone else, it’s Lukolas themselves.

- If, as I think is true, we won’t get a Polin selfie, it’s those crazy fans that should be responsible. Not Luke. Not Nicola. Not A or J.

- Neither of the four parties deserves hate, bullying or stalking.

I’m not talking about age gaps here because I think that’s a thing everyone has to determine for themselves. But whatever you think, hating on Luke or Nic is still not cool. Just stop following them if it bothers you so much. Don’t engage, it’s simple.

So that’s it, a little essay from someone who’s annoyed with the discourse. This might be the last thing I say on the topic, unless you piss me off again. Either way, take it or leave it, idc.

[feyhunter78]

Lost Notebook - Nerd!Miguel

Description: You left your notebook behind, and Miguel ends up with more than he bargained for when he returns it.

Shout out to @smokeywhalee for the idea🥰

Nerd!Miguel headcanons!

It’s your notebook that stops him. Pastel pink with your name written in black sharpie in the bottom right corner. He grabs it, unable to resist the urge to flip through it, to admire the way you take notes, it’s so chaotic, but he can see the genius behind the madness. Miguel knows you don’t think you’re smart enough for this class, but you are. You’re smart enough for anything you put your mind to. Genetics just seem to be something you can’t get your mind on board with, though.

He should return it, your notebook. You’ll be worried, anxious, he’s surprised you haven’t texted him asking if he’s left already, if he’s seen your notebook. He smiles to himself, tracing the loops of your handwriting. He loves when you text him all frantic, loves that he can put your mind at ease, loves when you make time in your schedule to come meet him somewhere on campus to retrieve your forgotten items. It makes him feel needed.

He should return your notebook, sooner rather than later, you’ve been on the edge of tears nearly every lecture, and he doesn’t want you to worry more than you already are.

Miguel knows your schedule, as embarrassing as it is to admit, he’s memorized it. After lab, you usually walk through the courtyard to get to your next class, it’s across campus so if he moves quickly, he can probably catch up with you. So, he grabs your notebook and hurries out of the lab, backpack slung over one shoulder.

The sun is shining down through the trees casting patterned shadows across the stone walkways, chatter fills the air, as he enters the courtyard. It’s a large square, each side opening up to a different part of campus. The library, the student center, the Humanities buildings, and then the labs he just came from. Along the low brick walls that box in parts of the courtyard, he can see the large colorful Frat letters. Each decorated differently with a variety of guys hanging around them, a scattering of girls, sorority girls he assumes, mingling with the various groups.

He spots you almost immediately, your hair shining in the sun, your pink backpack hanging low on your back, your scuffed sneakers moving slightly as you shift your weight from side to side.

You’re talking with someone; a man Miguel doesn’t recognize. He’s taller than you, shorter than Miguel, with short blond hair and striking blue eyes. He laughs loud, it rings out in the courtyard and for a moment Miguel thinks you’re laughing too. But then he sees the way you tense up, how you nod awkwardly and turn away from the laughing man, your steps measured but hurried, your head buried in your phone.

He catches up with you easily, long strides nearly double yours, and calls out your name.

Your head shoots up, a frigid, prickly look on your face that melts into a brilliant smile when you realize who called your name. “Miguel, hey, what’s up? I thought you had Calculus after lab?”

You know his schedule? His heart skips a beat, and he pushes his glasses up, holding your notebook out to you. “Yeah I—you left your notebook, and I know you’ve been stressed about class, so I thought I’d—”

You burst into tears, completely stopping him in his tracks.

He steps closer, anxiety swirling in his chest. “I’m sorry I should’ve texted you; it was weird of me to just show up like this. Please, please don’t cry.”

You shake your head and wipe away your mascara stained tears the best you can, bottom lip trembling even harder when you see the black marks on your finger. “No, no, you didn’t—I’m sorry I’ve just had a really tough morning, and then this asshole in KA, he was running his mouth and like I’m not even involved in that drama, so I don’t know why he started coming at me, and you’re just—you’re so sweet. I know you hate being late to class but here you are bringing me my notebook that I stupidly forgot and I…”

Miguel steps even closer, tentatively resting a hand on your shoulder. “It’s nothing, really.”

You shake your head again, crying even harder, and throwing your arms around him, burying your face in his chest. “I just—he was so mean, and I don’t even know him!”

“What did he say?” He asks softly, wrapping his arms loosely around you, rubbing his hand up and down your back as soothingly as he can.

“He said that I’m just a dumb bitch who needs to mind my own business and learn to shut up.” You sob, your fingers gripping his sweater.

Rage flares in his chest and Miguel wants to march over to that bleached blond douchebag, but the warmth of your body against his, the sound of your sobs, keeps him rooted in place.

Not like he’d even have the courage to go confront the guy, he’s not Gabriel. His brother would waste no time telling the guy off, maybe even punching him.

“He’s an ass, y/n.” He says softly.

“Yeah but…I mean, you sit beside me in lab; you know I’m not all that…I don’t know, and I do talk a lot, maybe he’s right.” You pull back and look up at him, crystalline tears on your lashes. “Do you think I talk too much, am I too in your business?”

“No.” It comes out more forcefully than he intends, and he clears his throat before trying again. “No, y/n, I don’t think you talk too much, or that you’re too in my business. I enjoy hearing your stories, and the fact that you’re in my business is just proof that you care.” He gathers his courage and wipes away a stray tear with his thumb. “You’ve got a big heart; some people don’t appreciate that...but I do.”

His face is burning, and he prays you can’t see him blushing, or feel his heart pounding, or hear the tremble in his voice as he forces himself to voice a tiny fraction of his feeling towards you.

You blink up at him, sobs dying down to sniffles. “Miguel I—” Your phone buzzes, and your eyes dart down to it. “Sorry, it’s my big, I texted her about what Clayton said.”

Miguel steps back, lets his arms fall to his side as you answer the call, your notebook in your hand as you throw him a quick thank you and a smile over your shoulder and rush off to class.

His arms still tingle from where he held you, his shirt still slightly damp and stained with mascara as he watches you walk away.

TL: @bat-bae, @nyctophilic0vitnir, @smokeywhalee, @obi-mom-kenobi, @prowlingforfood, @penggion, @crystal-crax, @oharasfilipinawife, @generalkenobitrash, @melsimps, @chrishy973, @farrowroyale, @palesatan

[psychics4unet]

🔥 Crazy Secrets Your Future Spouse is Hiding From You! Pick a Pile to Reveal the Truth! 💍✨

Instructions: Look at the 3 images of the piles below. Choose the pile that you feel most drawn to. Trust your intuition and select the one that resonates with you the most. Once you have made your choice, scroll down to read the description for the pile you selected.

I put a lot of effort into this reading, so please show some love by leaving comments, likes, reblogs, and follow me! ❤️💬✨

Paid psychic reading (7 questions for just $7) is available here:

Pile 1:

The Moon 🌙

Seven of Swords 🗡️

The High Priestess 🌿

The Moon represents hidden emotions and deep secrets that your future spouse may be keeping. They might have a mysterious past or unresolved feelings they haven’t shared yet. The Seven of Swords indicates some sneaky behavior — maybe they've kept things under wraps, especially regarding their life decisions or even past mistakes. The High Priestess tells you that your future spouse is highly intuitive but might be keeping their spiritual side hidden from you.

Together, these cards suggest that your future spouse is secretly quite complex, with hidden layers that they don’t show right away. They might hold back certain emotional truths or spiritual experiences, and it’ll take time to fully understand them. 🧐🌑

In real life, this could mean that they may have been involved in a secretive situation, like hiding a past relationship or financial issue. Maybe they haven't told you about an important decision they made long ago that changed their life path — like changing careers or dropping out of school. It could even be that they're into spiritual practices like meditation or tarot, but they haven’t shared that part of themselves yet.

Pile 2:

The Devil 🐍

The Lovers 💕

Nine of Wands 🛡️

The Devil indicates a strong attachment or obsession that your future spouse is hiding, which could be related to past relationships or desires they haven’t shared yet. The Lovers shows that they feel deeply connected to you but may struggle with balancing their emotions. There’s definitely love there, but also internal conflict. The Nine of Wands tells you that they’ve been through tough times, and they may have some emotional scars they keep hidden out of fear of being vulnerable.

Altogether, these cards reveal that your future spouse may be hiding deep emotional wounds or intense past relationships that could create tension. They might not be fully open about how much they've struggled emotionally. Be patient with them as they heal. ❤️‍🔥🛡️

In real life, this could manifest as them having gone through a toxic relationship in the past that they haven’t fully let go of. They might still be haunted by feelings of mistrust or fear of getting hurt again. Alternatively, they could be hiding an intense emotional challenge, like dealing with jealousy or attachment issues, which might not show up until later in the relationship.

Pile 3:

The Tower 🌩️

Ace of Cups 🏞️

Ten of Swords 💔

The Tower signals a shocking event or major transformation that your future spouse has gone through, but they haven’t fully shared this with you yet. The Ace of Cups reveals that they’re still healing from a past emotional upheaval but are also ready to start anew. The Ten of Swords indicates they’ve experienced betrayal or heartbreak, and they might be hiding this pain out of fear of being hurt again.

Together, these cards reveal that your future spouse has endured a significant loss or emotional blow in their past. This hidden pain may surface later in your relationship, but they are open to emotional healing and starting fresh with you. 🥀💧🌈

In real life, they may have experienced a huge life shift like losing a job, going through a messy breakup, or even something like family drama that completely changed their worldview. This could explain their reluctance to open up fully. They might be hesitant to share details about their past because it still hurts, but they’re willing to move forward with love if given the space to heal.

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best. Remember to reblog, like, comment, and follow for more cosmic guidance and positivity!

Paid readings (7 questions for just $7) are also available for more in-depth insights and personal guidance! 🌟💫

[melancholy-of-nadia]

love u lately (m) #9 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately​ chapter title: #9 - pour up pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; summary: welcome to your "fuck it" era. you ran away and haven't returned back to the house since the fight with yoongi and jimin. you're not sure how namjoon hasn't caught on to anything yet... but now taehyung, hoseok, and jungkook just invited you to go out to party at some random frat not at your campus and get you to destress from the drama. oh you're going to destress alright. pour up a drink and well, you might... regret... this decision... warnings:  ANOTHER LONG CHAPTER, flashback pov, angsty, stressful, alcohol consumption, dance battle, FIGHTING, multiple fights?, blood mention, crying, THE TRUTH, AND MORE CONFESSIONS, txt appearance, sakura appearance, soyoon and john eun and san appearance, jin lowkey snitching, ANGRY NAMJOON, soft namjoon, throwing up, kissing, SMUT, creampie, fingering, no other smut warnings it's a surprise but its very tame no worries, reader is on BC, good end?, EXTRA POV at the end, a lot happens i can't remember hehehe maybe i am drunk too note: again pls send love to @daegudrama who is in charge of editing these terrible chapter total word count: 14.3k drop date:  April 12th, 2024, 6:00PM PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #8 | Series Masterlist | #10

March 1st [Friday]

It’s been 2 weeks.

2 weeks since the fight.

2 weeks since you have last been “home”.

That’s not to say you haven’t taken a shower or changed out of your clothes since then. God, no.

You’ve been staying in Hwasa’s dorm ever since. Her roommate went on an immersion program abroad, so she has no roommate for this semester. Luckily, you’ve had access to her dorm’s shared bathroom to freshen up and her roommates' baron bed.

As for clothes and other stuff, Jungkook has been bringing you everything you need. He’s the only one you can rely on from the house as you’ve always been the most comfortable around him outside of Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi. He’s also the one who knew about the deal and didn’t tell anyone, aside from blabbering to Jimin back in October. 

You’re not 100% sure what the aftermath was like in that house after you left. But one thing for sure is that the other guys—not involved in the deal—have covered up things to Joon about your disappearance. They know how rocky things are, and if Namjoon knew all of this, you think it could make things a million times worse. You appreciate them stepping in like that though, no matter what they think of the situation.

Jungkook did attempt to recap it all through text, rather thoroughly.

+++++++++++

 — past —

February 15th [Friday]

“You guys done fucked things up now. A three-way relationship? Are you fucking kidding me?” Jin was seething as he scolded Jimin and Yoongi in the living room. The other guys were sitting at the dining table as Jin told them that they had to stay for this ordeal. They sat there in silence, waiting for this to (hopefully) end as soon as possible.

If the argument from earlier didn’t sober everyone up, then Jin’s yelling definitely did.

“And you! Taehyung! What were you thinking asking that?!” Jin pointed his finger at Taehyung.

“Huh? Me!? Jimin was the one who told me to ask something risky if Yoongi pulled that block.” Tae tried to avert his gaze from the older man. 

Everyone groaned. Jenga blocks still remained scattered on the table and on the floor of the living room. Unfinished snacks and drinks remained a mess around the table as well. Jin made a mental note to make Yoongi and Jimin clean up the aftermath of Friday Night Game Night as punishment for what happened.

“But you know what, I expected something like this at some point. Hoseok and Taehyung, please pay up. I take Venmo.” The two men—that Jin name dropped—groaned, pulling out their phones to send him the money. “Hyung, what the hell, man?!” Jimin glanced at them back and forth, appalled. Even Yoongi was confused that there was something like this going on, but he really shouldn’t be the one judging right now. “What? Did you think we didn’t suspect anything? That y’all were slick? There were signs...” Jin’s words drifted off.

“Like?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes at the older man. “Well should I mention the blowjob that Honey gave you in Mr. Kang’s office?” Hoseok interjected as he turned around from his chair. Yoongi’s eyes widened, “What the fuck? H-How did you—” He stumbled on his words. Hoseok didn’t come in until after it ended, he thought. How would he have known!?

“The door may have been closed, but people approaching the door can still hear what goes on behind it. Especially in that old ass building…” Hoseok sighed, “Thought it was just you jacking off in there at first, but when I heard you say, and I quote,  ‘Fuck. You really drive me crazy. You know that, Sunshine?’ I connected the dots quickly. I sat out there waiting until it ended so I could come in to drop my shit.” He emphasized, leaving Yoongi completely speechless.

“Jimin sent me Y/N’s nudes accidently one night!” Taehyung stood up from his chair in an instant, abruptly confessing. “He unsent them, but I caught it! He had to fes’ up to me after that. I thought it was just the both of them in a situationship. Then when Jin said Yoongi hyung was also involved, I couldn’t believe that. But I started connecting the dots during the trip.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes at Jimin, snarling a bit. Trying to avoid further questioning, Jimin mouths out to him that it happened while he was drunk when he stayed over at Taehyung’s during Christmas break. Though of course, Yoongi cannot read his lips.

“I didn’t lose the bet because I always knew there was a possibility it wasn’t just hyung and Honey after I caught them having sex. Especially based on the conversation Jimin and I had during his birthday party. So I was on Jin’s side.” Jungkook added, then he shrugged. 

“Interesting. Yoongi had told me about a dilemma he had with someone he was seeing. Jimin was also acting a little too clingy to Honey than usual, so I put the pieces together and realized what these two were doing. I thought I was wrong, but Jesus Christ…” Jin sat down in the loveseat, wondering if he had failed as president of Beta Tau Sigma. Should he have not let you move in to prevent this? Or should he have brought it up privately to you three and warned you all not to do it? Whatever scenario he thinks of doesn’t matter. What happened, happened. Now people are hurt and humiliated. He has to step it up to help you guys in any way, especially you. “Does Namjoon hyung know?” Taehyung inquired, earning everyones’ immediate deadpan stare at him. The silent action makes it seem that there is a shared understanding of something. No one wants Namjoon to know what happened. They know that if he finds out, they might have to be ready for their own funerals. “No.” Yoongi answered. “Fair enough. So what’s the plan now?” He followed up with another question. “We don’t even know where Honey went? Is she even somewhere safe?” Taehyung’s attitude towards this situation has been nonchalant, but in reality, he was actually very concerned for your mental wellbeing. He may be a social butterfly fuckboi, but whatever Jimin and Yoongi hid from you was a new low to him. You weren’t very close to him before, but he has grown fond of you in the past 2 years he’s known you. “We’re not telling Namjoon hyung that’s for sure!” Jungkook chimed in, scrolling at his recent messages. “I texted Hwasa because it’s the first person I thought she’d go to. She said that Honey was with her, asleep on her bed. Doesn’t seem like Honey wants to come back anytime soon.”

The guys let out a sigh of relief, though guilt shadowed Jimin and Yoongi. Feeling worn out, Jimin decided to get up from his spot, stumbled a bit and headed up to his room. Jin’s about to follow in pursuit to get him to come back and help clean up, but Yoongi stopped him. “Just let him be, I’ll help clean up if you need it,” The cat-eyed man said, reading into Jin’s intentions. “He’s already mentally punishing himself over this.”

After this, the other guys went into their rooms and called it a night. Yoongi remained in the dimly lit living room area, cleaning the mess that was left behind and reflecting on his frustrations. +++++++++++

You asked Jungkook about Namjoon. You knew that he would start to find things suspicious and eventually interrogate everyone about your whereabouts, like the older sibling figure he is. But Jungkook said that wasn’t the case. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:24PM]: No, Hyung’s been holed up in his room working on his polisci papers or in the lib’s lab room helping his buddies with stuff.

Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: He did ask about you though. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: But me and tae said that you’ve been busy working on a mid-semester project with her so you would be staying over at her dorm for a while. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:27PM]: Yoongi hyung and Jimin have been closed off since then, but Namjoon hyung hasn’t noticed much.

You keep going through your past texts between Jungkook and rereading what was sent. There are more messages from him mentioning that Jimin and Yoongi have been more standoffish towards others, making you feel concerned for them. Wait. No. You shake your head. Why are you even worried? They were the ones who started it. Did they not realize that things were better off platonic, instead of messing with your heart?

You breathe out, locking your phone. You go back to lying down on your side on the bed, closing your eyes to stop yourself from spiraling. The door suddenly unlocks, and the creaking sound marks Hwasa's entrance into the dorm. Opening your eyes, you observe her movements as she places her backpack on the desk. “Hey Hon, did you go to your class at noon?” She asks, her eyes searching yours. You nod, answering, “Yeah, couldn’t skip it today. Professor Watanabe said we were having a quiz because no one asked questions last class. Came back here after class.”

“Ah, gotcha.” Hwasa comes over to settle on your bed, arranging a throw pillow against the wall for comfort. She shifts her position, making herself at home. "How are ya feeling?"

“Better than before, but still not that great.”

“Maybe you should go out tonight. I think Nu Kappa is having a party tonight? Oh wait, Sigma Lambda is for sure having a house party. Let me check in with Joshua for that one because–”

“No.” You cut her off, though the word coming out of your mouth sounded much harsher than you had wanted it to. “I just don’t want to be around people that I know or potentially know me. Or just run into them.” You refer to Yoongi and Jimin with that line, maybe even Namjoon too. 

You want to talk this whole thing over with them, but you’re not ready yet. You just can’t organize your thoughts yet, and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s the anxiety of knowing that a conversation about this would eventually lead to you guys to cut off contact completely. And that could be it. Maybe that’s for the better. 

You will move out of the Beta Tau Sigma house.

Maybe you can ask Student Housing if they’d be willing to let you officially move into Hwasa’s dorm for the rest of the semester.

Yeah, you can manage to make this work out. But is it what you really want?

No. Of course not. But at this point in time, you can’t imagine this going any other way. “My bad, girl. I just wanted to help cheer you up.” Hwasa’s expression becomes somber.

No, no. You didn’t mean it like that. Why can’t your brain work properly?! “No, it’s just— sorry.” You apologize, trying to think of something to brighten up the mood. “But if you want to go out, don’t let me stop you, bestie! Maybe you want to see a special someone out.” 

Hwasa lets out a giggle, “It’s okay, I know you’re going through a lot right now.” She places her hand on your back to give you reassuring rubs. “But I’ll take that suggestion. Joshua told me his friend is making his DJ debut at Sigma Lambda so I wanted to drop by and support.”

Concern crosses your face, “That sounds pretty awesome, but are you okay going alone? I can go with you if you want.” She shakes her head. “Nah, it’s cool. I don’t want to force you to be there when you’re not feeling too hot. I’ll hit up Annie and ask if she’s down to come with me.” “Okay, that sounds good.” You reply, appreciating her understanding and the attempt to bring some normalcy back into the evening.

+++++++++++

Hwasa was in luck because Annie did respond not long after she sent her a text. She invited Hwasa to get ready over at her dorm, which was the nice apartment-like dorm on the northernmost part of campus. Hwasa says that she might come back late, but more than likely, thinks she’ll be knocked out at Annie’s dorm. She’ll keep you posted. Before she leaves that night, she gives you her access card (since you’ve been entering her dorm before thanks to the shared bathroom she has with the 2 girls in the next dorm) and tells you to feel free to go out to get something for dinner. After that happens, you’re left alone now. The Hello Kitty clock on Hwasa’s table read, “8:46 PM” Maybe you should grab something to eat. You honestly haven’t been eating properly. But you are tired of the dining hall food after almost two weeks of eating it. You hated it even when you used to dorm last year. “Maybe I’ll order from DoorDash to treat myself after a tough week,” You say to yourself while you lay down on Hwasa’s big fluffy pink floor rug. Netflix movie night and take-out sounds ideal, right?

Just as you’re scrolling through your phone trying to find an option you’re craving, you hear a loud knock at the door. 

Oh shit.

It’s not Hwasa, right? She would’ve texted you that she was coming back because she forgot something. Then is it the RA? No. Hwasa said she was cool with him, so he wouldn’t snitch you out. Did something else happen?

You get up from your comfortable position to walk towards the door. You’re not gonna lie, you’re a little nervous to open it.

Who the fuck could it even be on a Friday night?

You open it slowly, seeing tall figures coming into view.

“Honey, come out!” “Taehyung!?” You yelp out. Once you recognize the voice, you rapidly open the door wide enough to find Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok on the other side. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” You ask. You don’t remember telling them to come over. Even if you did, there’s not much they can do in such a small dorm. This is the first time in two weeks you’re talking to any of the other guys besides Jungkook. “We came over because we want to invite you out,” Hoseok responds this time, signature heart smile showing. “We know you haven’t been feeling well so we want to go with you and let loose!”

You’re getting deja vu from the same conversation you had with Hwasa earlier.

“So go get changed out of your…pajamas.” Jungkook looks down at you as he speaks, somewhat checking you out. A thought in your mind just clicks that he was looking at your chest, wearing no bra and cleavage all out. Men… You’ve been wearing your lace tank top and My Melody pajama pants since you got back from class. You didn’t have any plans of going out after class, so why be dressed up in tight jeans, a shirt and whatever else for the whole day? 

“Look, guys. That sounds like a mighty plan you got there, but I really don’t think I should go.” “But why not? There’s nothing better than drinking and forgetting your regrets! Please come with us!” Taehyung steps in closer, trying to welcome himself inside.

“Because… I’m feeling a little sick…?” The guys look at you in complete disbelief before you admit the truth. “Okay, fine, I don’t want to party around here and see these people.”

“Who said we’re partying here?” Jungkook smirks, “No, we’re going… somewhere else.” “Where is this ‘somewhere else’ you speak of?” You narrow your eyes, mild interest sparking behind them.

“Stop asking so many questions and just get ready. I’ll even help you pick out something.” Hoseok takes this as an opportunity to enter the dorm, where you direct him to your closet of stuff. The two other guys follow in as well and stand there as Hoseok is sifting through the rack mixed with jeans, blouses, skirts and sweaters.  

“Here, this is cute.” He hands you your black heart ring detail halter top, flared jeans, and a black knit cardigan. “Oh, this isn’t that bad of a look? No wonder people say you’re the most stylish on the dance team.” 

Hoseok grins, his eyes lighting up with pride at the compliment. "Well, you know, I've got an eye for these things. Now, go change into this. The night may be young, but we’re not getting any younger here!"

You take the outfit from him, a small smile playing on your lips. "Thanks, Hobi. I appreciate it." You look back at the guys who are still standing in the dorm, chuckling. "Um alright, can you guys step outside the door while I change?"

“Oh whoops!” Jungkook yells out, The three guys scurry out of the dorm, giving you a moment of privacy to change. 

Hoseok calls after you behind the door, "Let me know if you need any makeup tips! I'm a pro at this too."

You chuckle, appreciating the effort to lighten the mood. In the bathroom, you quickly change into the outfit Hoseok picked out. It's a mix of your style but with a touch of Hoseok's fashion flair. The black heart ring detail halter top fits snugly, paired with flared jeans and a cozy black knit cardigan. You glance at yourself in the mirror, the reflection showing a slightly different version of you.

After a deep breath, you open the door, greeted by the approving nods and smiles of Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Taehyung claps his hands together. "Looking good! Now, let's get out there and have some fun!"

With excitement now in the air, you grab your bag before you go and you all head out the building.

+++++++++++

Jungkook leads the way to his car, a sleek 2017 Mercedes-Benz C300 parked in the student parking lot next to Hwasa's dorm. The soft glow of the streetlights reflects off the polished surface, and you can't help but appreciate the comfortable luxury of his car. You will always remember that he begged his parents to sign off on it so he could get it as his graduation gift.

Jungkook unlocks the doors, and you all pile in, anticipation building for the night ahead.

The drive is filled with a mix of laughter and excited chatter as you navigate through the city. The atmosphere in the car is lively, the previous stress of weeks ago momentarily forgotten as you stare out of the car looking at the skyline of city lights on the freeway. It feels less suffocating over here. No Jimin. No Yoongi. No Namjoon. Just you and the other boys. You weren’t too keen on coming along with them, but now that you’re sitting here, DEAN’s Pour Up bass boosted on the car speakers, you know you made a good choice. You gotta let loose.

After 20 minutes on the road, Jungkook exits off the freeway into a residential area. As he finds a parking spot, you can hear the distant bass of music and the chatter of college students walking around. Is this another college’s Greek row?  The car engine turns off, and you all step outside looking around the neighborhood.

You're immediately struck by the grandeur of the fraternity houses. They are much bigger than the ones at your college campus, their size and architecture exuding an air of privilege. These houses are easily identifiable by the prominent display of large Greek letters or flags proudly adorning the front, signaling the presence of each fraternity.

Lights spill out from the windows, and the distant sounds of music and laughter grow louder as you approach the houses. The atmosphere is charged with anticipation, and you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness being here. Though, you’re glad that you won’t run into people you know here. And even if you do, the chance is likely really low. Who would come 20 minutes away to party at another college?

Once this question comes to your mind, you feel a little odd. Wait, are you forgetting something?

Before you can think about it more, Jungkook gently holds your wrist, leading the way through the lively crowds of students walking around, and you follow suit. 

The four of you approach the entrance of one of the bigger fraternity houses, the thumping bass becomes almost palpable. The flag outside says ΗΨΒ— Eta Psi Beta. You’re honestly not familiar with this one as it seems to be one that doesn’t have a chapter at your college. Without hesitation or restrictions, you guys walk into the side entrance leading to the backyard. After several steps of walking along the slightly lit path, you're engulfed in an atmosphere of sights and sounds. The massive backyard is packed with people, the air pulsating with the beats of a 2010s party mix blaring from the speakers. You see a pretty girl with a colorful knit top and black hair DJing the party from the far end of the backyard, along with several people behind her overseeing the vibes. Color-changing lights crisscross above, connected to tall oak trees, casting a warm glow over the lively scene below.

To your right, a makeshift bar is set up, complete with a variety of drinks and colorful cocktails. Students are chatting, dancing, and moving in synchronized rhythm with the music. The atmosphere is infectious, and you find yourself getting into the groove, the worries of the past weeks slowly fading away. 

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Hoseok lead you through the crowd, their excitement contagious. You can't help but marvel at the sheer scale of the party, a stark contrast to the more intimate gatherings you're used to. 

"Isn't this amazing?" Taehyung exclaims over the music, and you respond with an enthusiastic nod.

“How the hell did you guys find this party?” you shout back at him, catching yourself staring at the DJ Girl changing the setlist to some House and UK Garage music to hype up the crowd more.

“Jungkook says he knows a guy here!” Hoseok adds.

“Yeah! We go to the same gym off-campus and box a bit,” Jungkook explains closer to your ear so you could hear amid the lively ambiance. “Oh look! Speak of the devil!” His eyes widen when he sees the man he’s referring to step right up in front of you guys. “Woah! Jungkook! You came!” The man speaks with excitement in his eyes, facial features reflecting a youthfulness that adds to his charm. Like Jungkook, he possesses captivating doe eyes that convey both innocence and a hint of curiosity. He is seemingly younger than your group, however, his height is exactly the same as the trio with you. Jungkook chuckles, going in for a bro hug. “Didn’t think I was going to, but I dragged some friends with me.” Jungkook moves aside to introduce you three, “This is Hoseok, Taehyung, and Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you guys! I’m Taehyun Kang.” He extends a handshake to each of you, catching you off guard. Awkwardly, you take his hand in yours. His politeness radiates, and you can't help but find it adorable.

Taehyun leads the way, gesturing toward the makeshift bar. "Oh! Since you guys are here, let's get some drinks!" he suggests, guiding you through the lively crowd towards the vibrant bar area. “We have a special jungle juice just for tonight’s event. We call it Sugar Rush Ride!” He leans close to you guys, “We basically dumped a bunch of blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers in it mixed with other alcohols!” “Oh that seems pretty cool! Let me get some!” You say.  Taehyun smiles, pouring you some in a blue plastic cup and hands it to you. “You guys want to try some too?”

“I’m the DD for the drive back home, but these two can get some.” Hoseok reassures the younger men it's okay to get wasted. He’s always been a reliable upperclassman and brother to them.

You take the chance to sip the cup. Mm. It’s a little too sweet for your taste, but the strong burning sensation (of what you assume is rum and vodka), helps it lessen. Good. This is what you need right now so badly.

Fuck it.

For a moment, you're content to let go of your troubles and embrace the carefree spirit of the night.

+++++++++++

“Where’s Y/N? She’s not in her room.”

This question catches Jin off guard as he sips his wine, slightly choking on it before setting it down on the coffee table. He’s hanging out with Namjoon, John, San and Soyoon watching a Ghibli movie in the living room. Not that he was paying much attention, he was on his phone playing the new Maple Story update. Yoongi went to play basketball at the intramural gymnasium on campus, while Jimin went drinking with an upperclassmen, Taemin.

Of course Jin knew where you were this whole time since the fight, and even tonight when Hoseok said they were inviting you to the Eta Psi Beta party at the neighboring university. But is he about to tell Namjoon?

He’s not sure. Jin pauses the game on his phone, glancing at Namjoon. "Yeah, she mentioned she's spending the night at Hwasa's place. They've been hanging out a lot lately," he says, attempting a nonchalant tone to avoid revealing any hint of the tension between you and the others. His eyes flicker between the screen and Namjoon, unsure whether he should disclose more information.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, a slight frown forming on his face. "Is she okay?"

Jin hesitates for a moment, debating how much to share. "I guess? She just said she needed a change of scenery, you know?"

"What do you mean?" Namjoon presses, sensing there might be more to the story.

Jin takes a deep breath, his gaze shifting away momentarily. "Look, there's been some tension lately. I think she just needed some space to clear her head."

Namjoon's expression tightens, concern deepening. "Tension? What happened?" John, San and Soyoon’s attention from the movie has been diverted to the conversation happening between Jin and Namjoon. Jin sighs, knowing he can’t divulge more information in front of them. So he gets up, grabbing Namjoon’s wrist, and dragging him into the hallway leading to their rooms. “God, I hate having to hide shit from you of all people.” Jin whispers aggressively, putting his hands on the taller man’s shoulders. “Fine, basically, Y/N ran away two weeks ago and is staying at Hwasa’s dorm.” “...What the fuck, Seokjin?!” Namjoon reins in his emotions, realizing that getting upset won't help him understand the situation better. Now, more than ever, he needs to find out what's going on with you. “Why didn’t anyone tell me—”

He interrupts the younger man, sighing in frustration. “It’s not my place to tell you what happened exactly and neither was it anyone else’s. I think you might have an idea, though, even if you weren’t there. If you want to know, go find her.”

Namjoon is left speechless, brows furrowing as he absorbs the information, a surge of worry overtaking him. 

Jin nods, understanding Namjoon's urgency. “And we didn’t want to get you upset and probably wreck anything…or anyone.”

“Where is she, Jin?”

Jin, once again hesitates for a moment. “She’s at a party with Hoseok, Tae, and Jungkook. It’s at the…Eta Psi Beta house at that neighboring university, not too far from here.”

“Oh Sh–” Namjoon looks like a deer caught in headlights, evident concern plastered on his face. “Did you not fucking know that’s the frat that he is in?”

“He?” Jin pauses for a moment confused about who Namjoon was referring to before it all clicks in his head, panicking. “Holy fuck! How was I supposed to remember that? Jungkook said he had a friend there. And I mean, it’s a big frat…what are the odds that she’ll run into him?”

Namjoon takes a deep breath, frustration and worry battling within him. He has been keeping tabs here and there on this guy for over a year, just out of concern for you. He wasn’t sure if you’d ever plan to seek him, or vice versa. No, this isn’t good. 

He doesn't want to waste any time. 

“I’m going out!” Without another word, he heads towards the front door.

John gets up from the couch seeing the commotion. “Woah, Joon, what’s going on?” His brows furrow, searching Namjoon's face for answers.

Namjoon's jaw clenches as he sighs, concern etched across his face. “I need to go find Y/N. She’s at Eta Psi’s party at UOX 20 minutes away, and she might be in some trouble soon.” As he speaks, his eyes dart around, calculating the steps he needs to take.

John senses the urgency in Namjoon's movements and offers his assistance. “I’ll take you! I didn’t drink at all earlier so I’m good to drive.”

Soyoon, catching wind of the unfolding situation, joins in, her eyes wide with concern. “We'll come along too and help you find her!”

Meanwhile, Jin, trying to compose himself, acknowledges the chaos. “I wanna go, but I’ll stay here. Yoongi will be back later, so it’ll be suspicious if we’re all gone,” he says, his demeanor calm but resolute, a stabilizing force amid the growing turmoil. Namjoon’s gaze flickers briefly to Jin, silently thanking him for staying behind. He then nods appreciatively at John's offer, grateful for the immediate support. "Thanks, John. Let's go."

 He gestures for San and Soyoon to follow as well, her worried expression mirrors his own. As they make their way to the door, John grabs his jacket, his movements quick and purposeful.

The front door closes, leaving Jin alone with his own contemplations. The room, once filled with casual conversation and the glow of the TV now feels empty and eerily quiet.

He glances at his phone, pondering whether he should reach out to Yoongi. He knows Yoongi hates that man’s guts just as much as Namjoon, but he knows that you will be even more troubled if you see him as well. As he debates internally, Jin takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever repercussions may follow, hoping that Namjoon can find you and the other boys swiftly and ensure you don’t end up seeing him.

+++++++++++

After several drinks, you’ve gotten lost in the humongous crowd of people filling the backyard of this frat house. The last time you remember seeing Taehyung’s social butterfly ass was when he was striking up conversations with a couple of girls. His infectious laughter and charming boxy smile drew them towards him, and soon he was engaged in a friendly game of beer pong with a group jealous guys and trying to show off his skills and impressive aim to the girls. They loved it.

You believe Jungkook was dragged away by an excited Taehyun wanting to show him something inside the house, though you’re not sure if he’s back…and somewhere in this crowd.  

So that leaves you with Hoseok for a while, and when 4 Walls by F(X) starts playing, he nudges you into the middle of the crowd.

You dance with him for a bit, enjoying yourself as you attempt to follow along the movements he does. This ends with you awkwardly laughing at your own failure. You could never pop and lock, or whatever he did.  You’re just not that flexible at all or well-versed with dance moves that aren’t “The Robot”. But Hoseok is gentle when teaching you. Compared to how strict he is with his students during his dance class sessions, according to Jungkook.

Dancing with him was short-lived, as he tells you to stay put because he wants to enter the dance circle emerging from the middle of the crowd in front of the DJ. He might be the DD for the night, but he isn’t going to miss out on the fun while being sober.

You don’t want to be squished with drunk, sweaty bodies around you, so you end up next to the DJ booth, where the same girl is still spinning tracks and taking charge of the party’s setlist. Her effortless grace and commanding presence behind the turntables catch your attention, and you can't help but be intrigued by her.

"So, how did you get into DJing?" you ask, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the music. Usually, you’re not as courageous to start conversations with random people, but today, the alcohol in your system said otherwise.

The girl flashes you a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "Well, I've always had a passion for music," she replies, adjusting a knob on the mixer with practiced ease. "Back in Japan, I used to DJ at small local events. When I came here for my exchange program, I jumped at the chance to share my love for music with a new audience."

You nod, impressed by her dedication and talent. "Oh wow! That's amazing. You're really good at it," you comment, nodding towards the crowd as they groove to the beat.

Her smile widens at the compliment, a hint of pride in her eyes. "Thanks! I love seeing people enjoy themselves on the dance floor, connected by the music."

As you continue chatting, you come to find out her name is Sakura, and is in the same year as you. Before you get the chance to tell her your name, your attention is suddenly drawn to the makeshift dance floor where Hoseok is engaged in a spirited dance battle with another party-goer. The two of them move with grace and precision, their movements synchronized to the pulsating rhythm of the music.

You watch in awe as Hoseok dazzles the crowd with his fluid dance moves, his energy infectious as he captivates everyone around him. The other dancer, who you couldn’t see well from your angle, seems to hold their own with impressive skill drawing impressed sounds from the people watching. The guy keeps matching Hoseok move for move while Summer Walker’s Dat Right There plays in the background. After they finish, two other guys are up and dancing to the next song on Sakura’s setlist.

Sakura follows your gaze as you watch Hoseok get mixed into the crowd once again, a smile playing on her lips. "Looks like your friend knows how to move," she remarks, her eyes twinkling with amusement. 

You nod in agreement, feeling a swell of pride over your friend getting complimented. “Yup! He’s won several dance competitions in the past.” You sip your blue cup. What even is the alcohol inside this cup? You think maybe you should stop drinking before you start to get the urge to puke. Though, when else can you go all out like this without their supervision?

“Competition!? Woah, that’s on a whole other level than Jun! He’s in the school’s dance team too.”

You want to continue your conversation with Sakura, but suddenly, you feel your vision spin. Shit, maybe you are at your limit. You used to be able to drink more, why are you so weak tonight? You try to hold onto the table for stability, which then catches Sakura’s attention.

 “Wait, hey…you okay?”

You quickly look up at her, and wave her off. “Uh, yeah! 100%. Just need some water.”

“There’s cases of bottled water in the kitchen, just head in through the back door. Think you can make it there? I would help, but I’m—”

You manage a weak smile, grateful for Sakura's concern. "Don’t worry! I'll do that. Thanks, Sakura," you reply, your voice sounding more slurred as you attempt to maintain your composure. With a determined nod, you push yourself away from the table, focusing on steadying your steps as you make your way toward the back door.

As you navigate through the throngs of bodies, you can feel the effects of the alcohol weighing heavily on your senses. The music seems louder now, the lights brighter, and the voices around you a chaotic blur. You press a hand to your temple, willing away the dizzy spell that threatens to overwhelm you.

The sudden shift in atmosphere hits you like a wave as you step inside the house. The air is thick with smoke, a potent mixture of cigarette and weed fumes that assault your senses. You cough slightly, your eyes watering as you try to adjust to the stifling environment. 

The dim lighting casts long shadows across the room, adding to the hazy ambiance. People are scattered throughout the space, lounging on couches, leaning against walls, and mingling in small groups. The music from outside pounds in your ears, reverberating through the walls and floor, making it difficult to think clearly. 

Making your way to the kitchen, you find the bottled water, grab one and twist off the cap, taking a long gulp of the refreshing liquid. The relief is short lived though, as you glance around, searching for a familiar face in the sea of strangers. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Taehyung are nowhere to be seen for some time. 

You feel a pang of unease at being separated from your friends at a random frat party, God knows where. You’re also passed the point of being tipsy. 

What school are you even at? Why didn’t you bother asking about it in the car earlier?

Maybe you should try finding Jungkook. Yeah, he should be inside somewhere. You didn’t see him come out earlier.

You walk to the living room to try to search for him amongst the lax bodies taking hits from bongs, but suddenly you hear your name called out.

“Y/N!”

Jungkook?

Wait, did that sound like Jungkook calling out to you? Maybe? Maybe not?

You’re drunk, but the voice sounds familiar, though. Who is that?

You turn around.

And when you do, you immediately regret it.

The familiar voice that you deemed to be Jungkook was not him, but it wasn’t completely unfamiliar to you at all. You used to hear this voice so often. A voice that would whisper sweet nothings to you in the late summer nights and would annoy the hell out of you with his comments.

It can’t be him, you think. You’re drunk! You’re just drunk, Y/N! Why would it be him, here, right now? As much as you tried to refute the appearance of that man before you, the image became clearer.

Choi Yeonjun.

Once you realize this, everything around you seizes movement. Soon, it feels like you stepped into a dream with how hazy everything has become. The atmosphere consumed with smoke from people smoking weed here is definitely not helping. 

You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol running through your veins or your anxiety making the world spin once more, but there’s a curdling feeling in your stomach now.

Before you can even think, your legs start to move you back, very slowly. Away from the man who left you devastated and heartbroken not too long ago.

“Y-Yeon–”

“Y/N…” 

Fuck. It’s been almost two years and you still can’t fucking say his name. What’s wrong with you? You’re over him. Why are you somehow standing here in fear just from being in his presence?

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Me either.” That’s all you can mutter out? Wait. Is the “Jun” that Hoseok was dancing against earlier. Holy shit, this is all making sense. Of course you knew he went to a university close to you, but there’s thousands of students going there too. You would’ve never thought you’d just see fucking Yeonjun out of all people at a random ass frat party.

You wonder if he could sense the fear crawling through your skin, controlling your muscle movements. Your vision quivers twice as much as it should. Don’t make eye contact dammit.

Too late.

Despite your overwhelming urge to flee, you force yourself to stand your ground as Yeonjun approaches closer, his presence looming over you like a dark shadow. Every instinct screams at you to run, to go find the guys, to escape the memories that threaten to engulf you, but you swallow down your fear and brace yourself for what comes next.

"How have you been?" He asks, his voice soft yet filled with a tinge of uncertainty. 

You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of softness. And perhaps weakness. Your heart pounds in your chest, your palms clammy with nerves as you struggle to find the right words to respond. You’re gonna puke at this rate and it’s going to be embarrassing.

"Good... uh, how are you?" you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. You can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, the fear of what you might see reflected in them too overwhelming to bear. Instead, you focus on a spot just over his shoulder, willing yourself to remain composed despite the turmoil raging inside you.

Yeonjun's response is brief, almost curt. "Good," he says, his voice devoid of any emotion.

There's a tense silence between you two. You can feel the weight of the past pressing down on you, threatening to suffocate you with its suffocating embrace. But still, you refuse to break, determined to weather the storm no matter what.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Yeonjun speaks again, his voice hesitant yet persistent on something. "Okay, look, I know it’s been awhile, but I noticed you talking to Sakura earlier and I thought it was fate that I saw you after so long. Can we talk?"

“Huh? What?” 

Now what’s this about? You’ve been through too much and having a conversation about whatever the fuck is on his mind is something you do not want to do tonight. Or ever. You guys have been done. You have no more tears left to cry. You know your heart lies elsewhere.

“I know things ended badly when I left you, but—”

You’re not sure if he’s apologizing after reflecting on the past some time ago or if he’s trying to get back together with you, but you cannot stomach this. You want to leave. He’s probably drunk anyways. If he sincerely feels either of the two ways, he would’ve come to find you earlier to tell while he’s sober.

“Yeonjun,” You sigh heavily as you interrupt him, giving him a stern expression to show that you’re serious, “I’m not feeling too great right now. I need to go find the guys.”

“The guys?” Yeonjun scoffs. “You’re still hanging around with them?”

“Who?”

“Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin.”

What? You’re not even going to tell him that’s not who you’re here with, but now you have questions. There’s something he’s clearly insinuating here that he never told you when you two were dating. You wonder if it’s related to the reason why he ended things when you thought they were going so well. 

You want to keep edging him on until he spills.

“What’s wrong with that?” You raise your eyebrow, getting progressively more pissed off.

Yeonjun’s gaze hardens, his features contorting with a mixture of frustration and disbelief. “What’s wrong with that?” he echoes, his voice tinged with bitterness. “Can’t believe you’re still so dense after all this time.”

No, never mind. You’re not going to stand here and be degraded until you get a piece of a puzzle that doesn’t matter anymore.

“If you’re going to fucking insult me, then I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not leaving yet!” Yeonjun suddenly grabs your wrist, preventing you from leaving. His fingers dig into your skin with a painful intensity. You cringe for a moment. Panic courses through your veins as you struggle against his hold, desperate to break free from his grasp.

Before you could fight against his hold further, you turn to see a man, similar in height to Yeonjun, shoving him roughly against the nearest wall, his expression dark and menacing. This action makes Yeonjun let go as his hands are now elsewhere.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch the altercation unfold, fear and uncertainty swirling inside you like a raging storm. Who is this man?

Holy shit. 

Looking at him closely, the realization hits you like a ton of bricks—it's Namjoon.

Why is he here? How did he know you guys were here anyway?

"What the fuck is your problem grabbing her like that?" Namjoon's voice cuts through the chaos, his tone filled with anger and concern.

“Wait, Namjoon! Just stop. Let it go!”

Hoseok's voice breaks through the chaos, drawing your attention. He strides towards you, his eyes blazing with fury and worry. Taehyung and Jungkook follow closely behind, their expressions a mix of concern and determination. A crowd starts to form around them, even bringing in more people from outside after hearing the commotion.

Namjoon moves quickly, grabbing Yeonjun by the collar. “I don’t like violence, but you’ve really been pissing me off since that summer.” he growls, his voice dripping with menace.

Yeonjun staggers backward, out of Namjoon’s hold. Though his eyes remain wide with shock. He seems uncertain of what to do next, caught off guard by Namjoon's appearance and sudden aggression. His expression shifts from surprise to defiance, his jaw clenched with determination.

"Pissed off at me?" Yeonjun's voice is laced with poison, his eyes narrowing as he locks gazes with Namjoon. "I'm the one pissed off at you knowing she liked you this whole time and you never noticed a goddamn thing."

You remain frozen while hearing the words coming out of Yeonjun’s mouth. You liking Namjoon this whole time? Gears turn in your head. Did you never realize those feelings slip out of you? During the times you’d lovingly call Yeonjun, ‘Junnie’...did it feel so right because it was the same nickname Namjoon had? Yeonjun suddenly interjects with a sharp tone, "So you should stop acting up." 

The room falls into a momentary silence, punctuated only by the muffled thud as Yeonjun swiftly grabs a book from a nearby table and hits Namjoon's head with it. There's an audible gasp from the onlookers, some leaning forward in their spots to get a better view, while others recoil in shock at the unexpected turn of events.

Namjoon, caught off guard by the sudden blow, winces as the book makes contact with his head. He instinctively brings a hand up to rub the spot where he was struck, his expression a mixture of surprise and discomfort.

You, too, are taken aback by Yeonjun's action, your eyes widening as you and hoping they’ll just stop. 

Namjoon regains his posture and immediately goes back to gripping Yeonjun's collar, this time more tightly. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he retorts, his voice low and dangerous.

Yeonjun laughs, a bitter edge to the sound. "How thick is your skull? You can’t see how she’s looking at you, even now?” he sneers. "She's always been thinking of you all this time! Even when I was fucking her—"

Before Yeonjun can finish his sentence, Namjoon's fist connects with his jaw, the force of the blow sending him staggering backward once more. Yeonjun stumbles again, his balance thrown off by the unexpected attack and he falls to the floor.

The room erupts into chaos as people nearby shout and gasp in surprise. Namjoon steps forward, his expression dark and unreadable as he advances on Yeonjun, who raises his hands defensively.

"Namjoon, stop!" Your voice cuts through the tumult, your tone urgent as you rush forward to intervene. 

“Y/N, get away from them!” Jungkook runs towards you, trying to pull you away. Hoseok and Taehyung's faces are etched with concern as they rush to restrain Namjoon. Two other guys you recognize as Yeonjun’s close friends Soobin and Taehyun try to restrain Yeonjun as well. 

You run towards Namjoon and with a strong pull, manage to move him away and make him snap out of his sudden rage. When he looks down at your eyes, he notices you're slowly sobbing, frustrated.

He turns to look at Yeonjun, sitting on the ground as Soobin and Taehyun tend to his bloody nose as a result of the punch. 

As Namjoon's eyes meet yours, he registers the anguish reflected in your tear-filled gaze. The sight of your distress is like a bucket of cold water, jolting him out of his blind rage. Guilt washes over him as he realizes the impact his actions have had on you.

"Y/N," he murmurs, his voice thick with regret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

But before he can finish his apology, you turn away, your shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Your heart feels heavy with a mixture of emotions—anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness. You feel stupid in a way. What are you upset about? Is it because he fought and hurt Yeonjun? Is it because of the pact he had with Yoongi and Jimin? Is it because Yeonjun touched upon growing feelings you tried to repress?

Probably, it’s all of the above.

Namjoon reaches out to touch your arm, his expression pleading. "We need to talk."

Should you talk to Namjoon? You’re starting to sober up a bit after all that, so maybe you should come clean to him about everything that has happened not only in the last few weeks, but the last few months.

And perhaps, it’s time to put an end to your feelings or let yourself be consumed by them.

“Okay, fine, let’s go outside," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the din of the crowd. You wipe your tears, calming your breathing to stop the sobs. Namjoon nods in agreement, his expression somber as he follows you through the crowd. 

+++++++++++ 

“Why are you here?” You look down impatiently at Namjoon, who is now sitting on the sidewalk outside of the Eta Psi house. 

John, Soyoon, and San stand outside, their expressions etched with concern as they searched for you earlier. Namjoon waves them away, urging them to retreat inside and grant you both some privacy. They comply reluctantly, casting worried glances over their shoulders as they leave. They didn’t witness the fight or Namjoon getting hit, but it is evident from the tear stains on your face and Namjoon's deflated demeanor that something bad happened. They will likely learn the details later from Jungkook, who will be sure to fill them in once they are indoors.

“What? Why are you here? At this party a few towns over, all alone?”

“I wasn't alone! I came here with Tae, Jungkook and Hoseok. But what the hell is wrong with you?” “What do you mean what the fuck is wrong with me? Yeonjun suddenly grabbed you. I was trying to protect you.”

“You didn��t need to protect me because I could’ve handled that! Way better than you, who started a fight!” you retort, your voice rising with anger.

Stunned, Namjoon huffs in disbelief, jaw working overtime. “You were standing there for a solid five minutes, hands shaking, and stuck in place!”

He saw that too? Shit. He’s right. You couldn’t even move, and once again it was just like the summer right before freshman year of college. Right when he broke up with you and the last time you ever faced him. You hate having to recall that day when it felt like all the love you poured into this human you cared for so dearly became dried up and nonexistent.

Not wanting to admit your faults and being in a partially drunk stupor, you let your cold nature take over.

“Who even asked you to do that?” you snap, your tone cold and defensive.

Namjoon only stares at you, unblinking and feeling the distance you suddenly put in between him. “Who asked me? Who–” he begins, but his words trail off.

This silence cuts through the night air. For once in your life, Namjoon cannot find the right words to articulate his thoughts. He suddenly looks flustered, debating what he should even say.

And in that second, your harsher features start to soften in realization. You regret your bitter question aimed at him and reflecting on your past trauma. Why did you have to say that? What the fuck is wrong with you?  You used to be more calm and collective for fucks sake. Who even are you anymore? 

Namjoon can be petty by nature too, though he’s never been like that toward you. 

“Says the same person who’s been in a fuck buddies deal with Yoongi and Jimin.”

Silence once again. Except now, it is accompanied by a light shower. It’s raining.

Your mind, however, is very loud right now. Screaming internally with millions of questions. More importantly: How the fuck did he find out? Did the other guys spill to him? Or did he know all along? Since when? 

“Joon, that’s just…it’s not…” Cat has your tongue now.

He chuckles bitterly, “Am I even mad? Nah, ‘mad’ doesn’t even cut it.” he mutters, his voice tinged with sadness. He looks down at his hands, now covered in droplets of rainwater, and sighs heavily. “I’ve been good at hiding it, but it’s been so fucking upsetting how stupid you three are for doing that. But how the fuck could I have confronted y’all?”

“Well if it weren’t for you making out with Jihyo at the party right in front my eyes, then this wouldn’t have happened. I just got so upset and ran off. Yoongi was only trying to comfort me, but I was the one who initiated everything. So if you’re going to hate someone, hate me.”

You may have lost Yoongi and Jimin, but the idea of Namjoon hating you and losing him hurts so much. But if you have to end things, might as well do it now.

So fucking much.

“No.” He mumbles.

“What?” “No.” Namjoon’s voice is much clearer, and definitive. He stares into your eyes, but before you can fully process his response, your own words spill out in a rush of guilt and self-loathing. 

“Uh I’ve been sleeping with our other two best friends, and even that won’t get you to hate me?” Tears blur your vision and you struggle to formulate a coherent discussion of every selfish thing you’ve done. “I feel like the shittiest person alive right now! Yoongi and I basically did that out of frustration against you and Jimin becoming distant and changing. Then Jimin ended things with Irene because he liked me all this time and then he got caught up with me and Yoongi and now we got into a fight and–”

“I’m never going to hate you, Y/N.” Namjoon interrupts, his voice steady and filled with unwavering conviction. “Because even if you did that shit, it’s clear as day to me why you did all of that. It’s because you’ve been in love with me all this time too.” His words hang in the air, a profound acknowledgment of the truth that lingers between you. 

There it is.

The thoughts you never wanted to address, not even to Yoongi on the night of the Gamma party.

Namjoon finally realized too. You hate to thank Yeonjun for making the dots connect in his mind.

“Well, congrats on opening Pandora’s box, because you’re right.” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

Is he going to say something sassy, like ‘I’m always right!’? You wouldn’t even mind him shoving it in your face, because you deserve it after all. You got yourself into this mess.

Namjoon rises from the sidewalk and you find yourself enveloped in his warm embrace under the rain, his arms a comforting anchor amidst the turmoil of your emotions. In that moment, you realize that perhaps there’s still hope for the two of you, despite the mistakes and misunderstandings that have plagued your relationship. As you stand in Namjoon’s embrace, surrounded by the gentle patter of raindrops and the soft glow of streetlights, you find the courage to bare your soul to him.

“Namjoon,” you begin, your voice trembling with emotion, “Ever since we first became friends, I’ve felt something for you. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s always been there, just lingering beneath the surface.”

You pause, your thoughts drifting to the countless moments you’ve shared with him—the laughter, the tears, the late-night conversations that stretched into dawn about the most existential topics. From elementary until now. Each memory is etched into your heart, forming a tapestry of emotions that binds you to him in ways you never imagined possible.

“But it’s not just you,” you continue, your words spilling out in a rush of honesty. “Yoongi and Jimin, they’ve also carved out a place in my heart, each in their own way. It’s complex, messy, and kinda overwhelming.”

Your voice wavers as you confess the tangled web of emotions that have plagued you for so long. “But you, Namjoon…you’re the first love I never wanted to admit. I really wanted to take this to the grave if I could.”

Namjoon’s arms tighten around you, offering silent reassurance as you lay bare your deepest fears and desires. You already know how he feels, but him having the chance to hear you out probably eased every one of his own doubts and concerns.

As the rain continues to fall around you, casting a soft, ethereal glow over the scene, you feel a sense of serenity wash over you. The world around you fades into the background, leaving only you and Namjoon standing amidst the gentle rhythm of the rain.

With a newfound clarity, you tilt your head up to meet Namjoon's gaze, the air thick with anticipation. His eyes, dark pools of warmth and understanding, reflect the same emotions swirling within your own heart.

In this moment, there's no need for words. The unspoken longing between you hangs heavy in the air, a silent symphony of desire and yearning that binds you together.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, you reach up, your fingers tangling in the damp strands of Namjoon's hair. His breath catches in his throat as you draw him closer, your lips hovering just inches apart.

And then, with a surge of courage born from the depths of your heart, you close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his in a tender, tentative kiss.

The world seems to stand still as your lips meet, a symphony of emotions surrounding you, with a euphoric dizzying.You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol in your system doing that anymore. This is purely you in this moment suspended in time while the soft caress of your lips are against his.

For a heartbeat, you linger in the sweetness of the kiss, savoring the taste of rain and desire on his lips. And then, as if Namjoon becomes more confident in the moment, he deepens the kiss, your bodies moving in perfect harmony as you lose yourself in the intoxicating embrace of each other.

And this is where you realize, in the gentle patter of rain and the soft glow of streetlights, that this is where you belong—in Namjoon's arms, with his lips pressed against yours, in a world where love knows no bounds.

You pull away from the kiss, a soft giggle escapes your lips. The sound mingles with the gentle patter of raindrops around you. "I've wanted to do that for so long," you admit, a playful glint in your eyes. "Even when you were being annoying and scolding me at times, I thought it would've been better to shut you up with a kiss."

Namjoon's cheeks flush with a delicate shade of pink, his gaze shifting away shyly. "I...I wouldn't have minded," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. You love seeing this flustered side of him, and hope you can see more of it.

Before you can respond, the sound of wet footsteps interrupts the moment, and you turn to see John emerging from the house, followed closely by Soyoon, Jungkook, Hoseok, Taehyung, and San, who peer curiously from behind him.

"Are you lovebirds done over there?" John teases, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he gestures to you and Namjoon.

You feel your cheeks heat up at his words, feeling embarrassed that you were likely caught kissing Namjoon. Though, besides John’s question, no one else comments on the situation. "Um yeah, I think I wanna go back home," you say, your gaze shifting to Namjoon, who nods in agreement. "I wasn’t feeling good earlier, had too much to drink." "That’s why I told you to be careful!" Jungkook chimes in, scolding you jokingly as he tries to earn some brownie points from Namjoon for looking out for you. “You didn’t say anything!” You expose him, eliciting laughter from everyone present. Even amidst the lighthearted banter, your mind drifts back to Yeonjun, more or less because you’re worried about him taking legal action against Namjoon. “Wait, is Yeonjun…”

“Yeonjun’s going to be fine," Jungkook reassures, making you sigh in relief.  "Hueningkai and Beomgyu helped take him up to his room. He was pretty drunk, so we don’t think he’ll remember anything that happened tonight.”

Relief washes over you at Jungkook's reassurance about Yeonjun's well-being, the worry in your chest easing slightly. 

“Alright, I’ll take you and the others back,” John announces, motioning for you to follow him to his car parked across the street from the frat house.

As you approach the vehicle, you turn to Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook across the street. “Are you guys heading back too?”

Hoseok shakes his head with a smile. “Nah, we’ll stick around for a bit longer, make sure everything's all good here.”

“The night is still young for us, but go get some rest, Honey,” Taehyung says, gesturing for you to get in the car.

You give them a grateful smile, appreciating their willingness to stay behind and look out for any potential trouble.

With a final wave, you climb into John's car along with Namjoon, Soyoon, San, and John himself, ready to return back to campus. The engine revs to life, and soon you’re turning the street corner, leaving the chaos of the frat party behind you. As the streetlights flicker past, you lean back in your seat, feeling a sense of relief and contentment wash over you. 

+++++++++++

“I’ll help take Y/N inside and then walk back home,” Namjoon tells John as he shuts the door of his car. “Alright, just text me when you make it back. Have a good night, guys.” John waves, exiting the parking lot in front of Hwasa’s dorm and disappearing in the distance. He dropped off Soyoon and San at their dorms across campus, so he is just headed back to his off-campus apartment. Before you swipe Hwasa’s student ID to enter her dorm, you suddenly feel your stomach churn with nausea. Maybe it was the ride back that made you queasy, or the fact that the only contents in your stomach were alcohol. Without warning, the urge to vomit hits you like a tidal wave, and you bolt towards a nearby bush, clutching your stomach in distress. Namjoon's eyebrows furrow in concern as he watches you rush away. He quickly follows, his footsteps echoing against the pavement as he reaches your side. Without hesitation, he holds your hair up to prevent the puke from sticking to it accidently.

You continue to retch, emptying the contents of your stomach into the bush, Namjoon stays by your side, offering silent support and comfort. His reassuring presence helps to calm your racing heartbeat, grounding you amid your discomfort.

“I-I…really hate throwing up so much,” you admit between gasps, your voice trembling with embarrassment.

“I know,” Namjoon replies softly, his tone understanding. “You should’ve been more cautious.”

You nod weakly, acknowledging his words even as you struggle to regain your composure.

“I know that,” you murmur, pushing yourself upright and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “But I was upset...sad…needed something to take my mind off of the stuff with Yoongi and Jimin.” You swipe access and enter the building together.

“Yeah, how did all of that happen?”

“Well, it’s a long story…”

And you proceed to tell him everything that happened, from the night you first had sex with Yoongi all up until the fight that Jimin initiated at Friday Night Game Night two weeks ago. While you told him the story, you got changed, brushed your teeth, and drank some water to rehydrate you after the vomiting. He sat on your bed, watching you do each task and listening to you carefully. 

Once you’ve completed your routine, you join Namjoon on the bed, sinking into the soft mattress beside him.

“I think the answer is obvious, but we made that pact because we’ve been in love with you for a long time,” Namjoon begins, his voice soft as he gazes up at the twinkling string lights that adorn the room. “Sometime during junior year, we were at Yoongi’s house and just started talking about our feelings and didn’t know what to do.” He lays back against your pillows, sighing. “We didn’t want to ruin our friendship with you and we also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Namjoon continues, his tone tinged with regret. “We didn’t think you’d like us back because you were occupied with other guys on your mind back then. So, at that time, we decided to agree that neither of us would pursue you and move on.”

“Except that Yoongi decided to say fuck it,” you interject with a wry smile, remembering the impulsive decision that changed everything.

Namjoon chuckles softly, shaking his head in amusement. “Yeah, we had tried to move on, though Yoongi probably couldn’t let you go, so he went for it. Can’t believe he did that, but I would’ve done the same if I were in his shoes.”

He turns to you, his expression earnest as he asks, "So, what are you going to do, Tiny? How are you planning to reconcile your friendship with them?"

You pause, feeling stress settle heavily on your shoulders once again. It’s a dilemma you’ve grappled with countless times, each solution more elusive than the last. "I still don't know," you admit, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "In an ideal world, I'd love to be with you and them, but is that even possible?"

Namjoon's eyes soften with understanding as he listens to your concerns. "That’s a thing, you know," he suggests tentatively. “It’s called being in a polycule together."

You gasp, the concept both surprising and intriguing. "A polycule?" you repeat, your mind racing with possibilities. "Do you think...could that really work?"

Namjoon nods thoughtfully, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity. "Maybe," he replies, his voice tinged with cautious optimism. "It's definitely something worth considering, but we'd all have to think about it more and talk it through together."

A polycule. You can’t deny how much you’d be down for the idea. The thought of being in a loving, supportive relationship with Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi is undeniably appealing. However, there are other things to consider, like the future of the relationship and how you could ever present this to your own families. No doubt your parents would get a heart attack. But maybe, you’d figure out how to make this work. You don’t have to publicly get married, maybe you could just frame it as being single forever with your other single best friends. It’d be like that article about the seven Chinese girlfriends buying a mansion to retire and die together. 

You move to straddle Namjoon’s lap excitedly, “I want to try that,” 

Namjoon's expression shifts from contemplative to surprised as you straddle his lap, the sudden change in proximity catching him off guard. He blinks, momentarily taken aback by your boldness, before a soft smile spreads across his lips.

You look at his beautiful deep brown dragon eyes, always so mesmerizing.Your heart flutters at the sight, reassured by the warmth in his gaze. You're acutely aware of the intimate closeness between you, the heat of his body seeping through the thin fabric of your clothes, igniting a flicker of desire deep within you.

For a moment, Namjoon doesn’t respond. He’s caught off guard, thinking about how cute you look being on top of him like this. When he doesn’t respond right away, you give him a puzzled look.

"You're only wearing underwear under your oversized Pokémon t-shirt?" He teases, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Huh?” Your cheeks redden, “Y-You could tell?”

“Yeah.” 

Your heart skips a beat as Namjoon's hand brushes against your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. His touch is gentle yet electrifying.

Before you can fully comprehend what's happening, Namjoon pulls you down, your lips meet his in a kiss full of need and desire.

As your lips meld together in a tender embrace, the kiss deepens, becoming more passionate and intense. You feel the gentle pressure of Namjoon's lips parting, inviting you into his mouth. With a soft whimper of desire, you accept the invitation, allowing your tongue to dance against his.

He starts undressing you, from your t-shirt to your panties, eager to finally have you after all this time. Once you’re naked, you pull yourself back up and let him bask in the view of you. He’s awestruck by the sight of your perky breasts.

He takes a moment to admire your curves, his eyes lingering on the way your rounded hips fit perfectly into your waist. He traces the line of your belly button with his fingertips, marveling at the way your skin feels under his touch.

You watch him, enjoying the way he looks at you, and suddenly you're desperate for more. You reach down and cupping his face, pulling his lips to yours in a deep, passionate kiss.

Your fingers trail down his arms, tracing the muscles beneath his shirt, as his hands slide up your sides, grazing your ribs before moving up to cup your breasts. His touch feels divine, his fingers gently tugging at your nipples, sending shivers down your spine.

His lips travel down your neck, leaving a trail of warm, wet kisses as he goes. You can't help but moan softly, your head falling back in pleasure. He runs his tongue over the swell of your collarbone, and then moves downward, his lips leaving a hot, wet trail as he goes. He sucks gently on your nipples, his tongue flicking against the sensitive skin.

You arch your back, enjoying the sensation of his mouth on your body. You feel his hands slide down your belly, the warmth of his fingers tracing circles on your skin. He kisses his way down your stomach, his lips leaving warm, wet kisses in a trail that leads to your hips.

You can feel the anticipation building up inside you. Your breath catches in your throat as he reaches the top of your thighs, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin. You're not sure what he's going to do next, and that's part of the thrill.

He looks up at you, his eyes filled with desire. He moves to remove his sweatpants, his shirt, and finally his boxer briefs.

You watch him, your eyes widening as he stands before you, completely naked. It's the first time you've seen him without clothes, and it's a sight that takes your breath away. He's been your best friend for so long, and now here he is, vulnerable and exposed in front of you.

His erection sticks up prominently, a testament to his arousal. He's bigger than you expected, and the sight of it makes your heart race and your breath catch in your throat.

Before you can think about it, you reach out and touch him, tentatively wrapping your fingers around his shaft. It feels warm and hard in your hand, and you can't help but marvel at how it's throbbing beneath your touch.

He moans softly, and you can tell that he's enjoying your touch. You run your thumb over the head of his penis, feeling the slit that moistens with pre-cum. It's an intimate moment, and you can’t believe this is the first time you’re able to touch him this way.

You stroke him gently, feeling his muscles tense and relax as you do. His hips move subtly, as though he's enjoying your touch. You're grateful for his trust in you, and for the connection that's brought you to this moment.

As you continue to stroke him, you feel his hand on your thigh, gently running his fingers up and down your leg. It's a small gesture, but it means the world to you. It's a sign that he's not only comfortable with where this is going, but that he's also enjoying himself.

He leans in close, his lips brushing against his ear. "I'm so glad we're doing this," he whispers. "I've wanted this for so long,

“And I'm so glad you're here with me."

You can't help but feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you. This wasn't just about having sex with Namjoon, but the long, slow burning affection you and Namjoon have likely had for one another. You nod, your cheeks flushed with a mix of arousal and affection.

He smiles warmly at you, his eyes filled with love and desire. "I know you're nervous, but don't worry," he reassures you. "We'll take it slow."

You nod, swallowing hard as you take a deep breath. This moment feels like something you've been dreaming about for years, and you're both nervous and excited all at once.

Namjoon's fingers trail up your inner thigh, and you can't help but moan softly as his touch sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your core. You reach down, and tentatively guide his hand towards your now soaked core, your legs parting slightly to allow him access.

He gently slides his fingers between your labia, feeling the dampness and heat that awaits him. You gasp as his fingers brush against your clitoris, sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your body.

"Is this okay?" He murmurs, his voice low and filled with concern. You nod, unable to speak past the desire now coursing through you. “Words, please baby girl.”

The nickname immediately catches you offguard but you don’t comment on it. Your horniness yet again clouding your ability to question things.

“Y-Yes!”

With this confirmation, his fingers slide inside you, two, then three, stretching you gently as he explores your depths. You can't help but moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.

"You feel so amazing inside," he whispers, his fingers moving in and out of you in a steady rhythm. You can't help but thrust your hips into his hand, desperate for more.

He leans down and kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as his fingers continue to thrust inside of you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending waves of pleasure through you.

As he continues to fuck you with his fingers, you can feel your orgasm building. It starts as a gentle tingle, then grows into a throbbing need that courses through your entire body.

"I'm going to come," you gasp, your voice shaking with desire. Namjoon grins, his eyes shining with need as he increases the pace of his fingers, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles.

"That's it, baby girl. Cum for me," he urges, his voice low and filled with lust.

Every thrust of his fingers and every circle of his thumb brings you closer to the edge, until finally, you can't take it anymore. The band unwinds and you start to squirm in place.

You lay there, breathing heavily, waiting for the high to go down. You feel somewhat embarassed that he just did this to you and saw you come. You can’t help but want him more of his touch. You want him inside you.

"Namjoon," you breathe, your voice rough with desire. "I want you to be inside me."

His eyes flash with desire, and he pulls his fingers out of you with a soft pop. He moves towards the bed, his erection leading the way.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice deep and filled with anticipation.

You nod, your heart racing as you watch him position himself at your entrance. You can feel his knees between your legs, and the heat of his body presses against yours.

"You can do it without the condom, I’m on BC." you whisper, your voice shaking with nerves and desire. “I-I’m ready.”

With one smooth motion, Namjoon pushes himself inside you. You gasp at the sensation. Holy fuck, he’s huge. Can you really fit him in you? You’ve never experienced someone this big. Namjoon senses your discomfort and is about to ask if he should stop, however, you wave him off.

“Please keep going, Joon.” Your body clenches around his erection as he continues, filling you completely to the brim.

"Fuck," he mutters, his eyes locked on yours. "This feels better than I imagined."

He places his hand right below your stomach, and you can see the switch in his demeanor become darker. He smirks at you. “I can even feel myself right here”

“H-Holy shit,” These are the only words you can let out as he starts to further dominate you.

“I’m going to start moving, okay baby?”

“Mhm.” Just nodding in agreement, you brace yourself for what is about to come. Namjoon's eyes never leave yours as he begins to move inside of you, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first before growing more forceful with each passing second. You cry out with each stroke, your nails digging into his back as he fills you completely.

Your hips start meeting his movements, your body craving the sensation of him inside of you. You moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.

His cock slides in and out of you, each thrust bringing a new wave of pleasure that leaves you breathless. You reach up, your hands gripping his shoulders as he continues to fuck you.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he growls, his voice filled with lust. "You're so tight."

As he plunges deeper into you, he leans down and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue dances with yours, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he fucks you harder and faster. You don’t want it to end, but you can feel the building tension within you again, the waves of pleasure threatening to overflow.

Every thrust brings you closer to the edge, and you know that you're not far from coming again. You arch your back, your hips moving in time with his thrusts.

"I'm going to cum," you gasp, your voice shaking with need. Namjoon groans, his eyes locked.

"Then cum for me, baby girl," he growls, his voice deep and filled with lust. He thrusts harder and faster into you, his body bucking against yours as he drives himself deeper into you.

Every thrust of his hips sends another wave of pleasure coursing through you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending you higher and higher.

You can feel your orgasm building, pulsing through your core, and you know that this time it will be even more intense than before. Your body is on fire, every nerve ending alive with desire, and you can feel your climax reaching its peak.

"That's it," Namjoon mutters, his voice ragged with desire. "Cum for me, baby girl. Let me feel you come on my dick."

The words send you over the edge, and you scream his name as you come, your body convulsing around his dick.

"F-Fuck!" you scream, your voice echoing through the room. "Joonie!"

He feels your muscles clenching around him, and he knows that he can’t hold on much longer. He slams into you one last time, his own release building to a shuddering climax inside you.

"I'm cumming," he groans, his voice hoarse with passion. "Fuck, I'm cumming!"

As you both reach the peak of your orgasms, your bodies are shaking with the intensity of the pleasure. Breathing heavily. Sweating tremendously from the heat. Your nerves feel alive, and the overwhelming desire for him grows stronger. 

As the waves of aftershocks subsided, he pulls out of you gently, his cock glistening with your wetness. He breathes heavily, his eyes filled with laughter as he helps you clean up. It has been quite the experience, and you both know that this will probably become a regular part of your love life.

After cleaning up, he helps you into bed, spooning you from behind. You can feel that he was still hard under the sheets, and you giggle at his persistence.

"Joonie, you're still hard," you whisper, a smile on your face.

"I know, but I don't want to cum again just yet," he replies, his voice low and filled with desire. "I want to hold you like this for a while." He caresses your cheek gently.

You snuggle into his arms, your heart full of love for him. You drift off to sleep for a bit, before you wake up again wanting to do it again. This time, spending time pleasuring him. You suck his dick and deepthroat it, despite his worries. 

With this event, you know that your life will never be the same again. Namjoon has forever changed you, as well as Yoongi and Jimin and you couldn't be more grateful.

All that is left is figuring if you can make the polycule idea a reality.

Would it be insane if you’d try it? If you helped initiate the virginity race, then you could do this too. +++++++++++ [Extra POV]

Meanwhile, inside the house, chaos slowly dissipates as Soobin and Taehyun rush to tend to Yeonjun's bloody nose on the floor. Jungkook, guilt-ridden, is apologizing profusely for his friend's actions, his words tumbling out in a rush of remorse.

Beomgyu and Hueningkai, Yeonjun’s other close frat brothers, arrive on the scene. Beomgyu's laughter ringing through the air as he chides Yeonjun for his reckless behavior. 

"Man, you're lucky Namjoon didn't knock you into next week!" he jokes, though there's an edge of concern in his voice. “Can’t believe you thought it was fine to go up against a guy three times bigger than you!”

“Beomgyu, shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it.” Yeonjun groans as he holds a crumpled tissue paper to his nose waiting for the bleeding to stop.

Hueningkai turns to Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok, sighing, "Guys, your friend Namjoon needs to get out of here soon before the cops decide to show up from the commotion," he says, his tone urgent.

Hoseok nods in agreement. "He'll be out soon," he assures them. “They’re outside talking it out. If they don’t wrap it up in 15 minutes, I’m dragging his ass to John’s car or Jungkook’s.” 

“Yoooo, what the hell happened?” Soyoon chimes in with John and San trailing behind her. She looks at the sight in the living room all confused.

“The guy on the floor is Honey’s ex and Namjoon fought him because he was being an ass.” Jungkook summarizes, make the three nod in understanding.

“God, can you all shut up and stop talking about–” Yeonjun winces in pain, making Soobin panic.

Taehyun, his patience wearing thin, scolds Yeonjun sternly. "Well, what did you think was going to happen?" he chastises. "Jungkook told me Namjoon is in the gym five times a week, and all you do is shotgun beers and chase tri delts."

Taehyung chuckles at the remark, unable to resist the humor in the situation. "Yeah, you might want to rethink your strategy next time, buddy," he quips, though there's an underlying seriousness to his tone.

“I wanted to be friends with Y/N again.” Yeonjun slurs, his lips pouting out. “Can I have another drink?”

“But you see where that got you!” Soobin intervenes. "And no!” He firmly denies Yeonjun's request for another drink. "You've had enough drinks for one night, Jjun.” 

Yeonjun grumbles in protest, but Soobin's resolve is unwavering. With a supportive arm, he helps Yeonjun stand up, steadying him as they both rise. "I think you should go to bed," Soobin suggests softly, his tone gentle yet firm. "We'll handle slowly dispersing people out and tell them to go to another party."

Yeonjun nods. Beomgyu and Hueningkai step forward to offer their assistance. Beomgyu slings an arm around Yeonjun's shoulders, offering him a supportive grip, while Hueningkai moves to steady him from the other side.

"Let's get you to bed, man," Beomgyu says with a sympathetic smile, his tone reassuring.

Yeonjun leans on them for support, grateful for their presence as they navigate through the crowd. 

But as he stumbled along with his friends' support, Yeonjun couldn't ignore the nagging feeling of regret gnawing at him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hostile, towards you or Namjoon. It wasn't fair to you at all. It wasn’t why he wanted to talk to you anyways

He couldn't shake the guilt that washed over him as he thought about your past together. He'd acted out of jealousy and hurt, hoping to reclaim a piece of something that was long gone. But now, faced with the consequences of his actions, he realized how foolish he'd been.

With this, he’s closing the door forever.

All he wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep off the alcohol-induced haze.

-

-

-

tbc !!!!! :D

a/n: 3 MORE CHAPTERS LEFT. we are getting closer and closer to the eventual polycule we might get... or not. this was probably the most exciting chapter to write because it was planned since LAST AUGUST. literally before any chapter of this series dropped. rae and i had been plotting the yeonjun v. namjoon fight since then and ironically yeonjun was in apartment 404 and filmed a fight scene. so thank me for manifesting yeonjun fighting lmao. it took me a little over a month to write because i had job interviews and rae was busy with life/school to edit as well so apologies on the delay, but it is here now. i will try to work on ch 10 and make sure it doesn't take to long, but i have to be job searching so it might take some time again. the goal is to finish this series before the anniversary in late august so we will see. would love to hear y'alls thoughts or theories on what will happen to our favorite quad and the rest of the house next chapter. thank you all for reading!

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist

[darcytaylor]

I recently found your blog after hearing you mentioned on a discord I joined. I’m very glad I have. I’ve got very caught up in speculating the ship and it’s become draining and, I realise, unhealthy. After reading back over last few weeks, I’ve enjoyed your observations and insights, I have come to the realisation that we really don’t know anything for sure, it’s all speculation. And, as a fandom, perhaps avoiding certain realities by changing narratives. As a result, the fandom has become so whipped into a frenzy. So, it’s been a refreshing wake up call reading your blog.

Regarding Nicola and Luke, I have some thoughts I’d like to share ( for no other reasons than it feels a safe space to share and perhaps for others to read and acknowledge they’re normal human beings like us) I actually really feel for Nicola at the moment. She’s at an important stage in her life. A point where you may be thinking about where to go next and what you want for your life in the future. She’s a very giving, nurturing person, we can see she cares and supports her friends. My hope is that she has strong support back as her life is changing. She’s certainly in the spotlight and I think she’s at risk of overdoing things and burning out as she finds her way up. She’s appeared overwhelmed at times recently. This is my intuition.

re Luke, I hope he’s doing well. I’m very fond of him. He’s been very quiet and has had a lot of negativity on him for his life choices . I do think he’s made some unwise choices. Which. I think may have been impacted by the pressures of being a lead, perhaps personal pressure to change his outward appearance, a long term relationship break up, and then all the promotions. As an introvert, I feel this may have overwhelmed him? I also wonder if he’s afraid to take the next step ( like Nicola has) as it may impact the dynamics of friendships/relationship in terms of his and their own status ? It can be very hard to navigate higher achievements if you’re moving forward more quickly than the people in your life. There are always feelings involved from each side, both good and bad. So maybe it’s easier to stay lower key. Who knows? But I do feel , again, just from my own intuition, that there’s a lack of confidence behind decisions made, which is sad to think.

Thank you for reading if you’ve got this far. It has been quite cathartic to write it down before I take a step back, and remain hopeful for them finding true happiness, however that looks.

Sorry for the late response to this ask! I’m really glad you found my blog and that it’s given you a bit of a wake-up call with all the speculation going around. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in fandom drama, especially when narratives keep shifting and people start projecting their own feelings onto public figures.

I appreciate your insights about Nicola and Luke - just from reading your ask, I can see you have some empathy! Nicola is at a pivotal point in her life, and having solid support as she navigates these changes is incredibly important. It’s tough that she doesn’t live close to her family, but I know she views her friends in London as family because of that (she said that in an interview once). The pressures of being in the spotlight must be overwhelming, so I totally understand why you’d feel concerned for her well-being.

As for Luke, the pressure of being a lead is a lot to handle, especially for an introvert. Your intuition about his lack of confidence is an interesting take that I haven’t really considered, but I have wondered if he’s trying to figure out what kind of actor and celebrity he wants to be.

It’s definitely good to take a step back and process everything going on. It’s completely valid to care about their happiness while recognizing how wild their situations are. Here’s hoping they both find what they’re looking for in life, however that looks!

[jiminniethemarshmallow]

I Remember pt. 3

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Jimin is insecure and anxious so he does things that don’t make a lot of sense :(

Word Count: ~15,500

(A/N): I don’t usually write angst so bear with me y’all 😭 Also, sorry this took so long, I started taking classes again this year and things got crazy. Hope you enjoy!

Tag: @13-manggaetteok

The sight of Jaebeom at your door makes you sick to your stomach as you realize he’s just seen Jimin standing behind you. But you try to play it off and act casual after slamming the door shut at your back, greeting him as usual.

“Jaebeom! Hi!” Forcing a smile.

“Good morning!” His smile returns and you nearly sigh in relief at his laid back personality. 

“So… what brings you here this early in the morning?” You would have liked to sleep in a bit longer, but now you have a situation to deal with before you’re even fully awake, still wiping sleep from your tear ducts. 

“Well, I was cleaning out my car and I found your jacket in my backseat so I thought I’d deliver it to you.” He offers it to you with a dramatic bow of the head, presenting it with both hands like it’s an important artifact, and you would have laughed if you weren’t so disturbed by his presence. You’d been avoiding him because you have yet to figure out how to tell him that you no longer want to see him, so this meeting is less than ideal. Especially with Jimin here. “I felt bad that we haven’t been able to see each other these past few weeks and I missed you, so I really just needed an excuse to see you. I hope I’m not intruding on anything.” He finally starts looking bashful as he reaches up to rub his neck, looking back at the closed door behind you where you assume Jimin is still near. Knowing him, he’s probably still standing there trying to eavesdrop on your conversation to see who this mysterious new man is because Jimin just simply cannot ignore drama. Even when it somewhat involves himself. 

Catching your wandering thoughts, you feel horrible for having strung Jaebeom along like this. He came here because he missed you. Missed how you used to talk and text almost every day and go on dates. And now it’s practically radio silence from you and he has no idea why. Well, he might have a clue now after seeing the man in your home. 

“That’s… really sweet of you Jaebeom.” You can’t find anything else to say. He is intruding if we’re being honest, but you don’t want to give him the wrong impression. But then again, maybe having him think Jimin is here for that type of reason will push him away and he’ll break things off with you first so you don’t have to do it to him.

“So, may I ask who that is?” He gestures past you and you’re surprised by how straightforward he’s being. 

Jimin watches from a few windows over, making sure not to press his face to the glass so you and your mysterious visitor can’t see him. Just as you thought, he is far too nosy to pass up watching this interaction. You look very uncomfortable talking to this man, body facing slightly away from him, arms crossed protectively over your front. Your eyes shift back and forth as you shift your weight to your other foot, taking a long time to speak after his last question. Jimin wonders what the man said to you to make you look like this. Were you talking about him? He’s pretty sure he made eye contact with the man when you opened the door so that is completely likely. 

Finally, you say something back to him, speaking slowly, and Jimin wishes he could read lips. The man blinks once, twice, swallowing deeply before nodding. His mouth opens like he wants to say something, but it doesn’t seem like he does, closing his lips again and processing your words. You frown at this reaction, facing him head on as you give a lengthy explanation, he assumes. The guy at your door doesn’t say anything for a long while and Jimin can practically feel your anxiety through the walls. Were you telling him about him? Who is this man to you in the first place? Jimin can only assume this is the one you were talking about when you went out to dinner that one night, where you said your relationship wasn’t that serious and you could “drop him” whenever you felt like it. But watching you interact now, it seems that you value his opinion at least a little bit and are maybe a little closer than you let on originally. Jimin’s not sure how to feel about that just yet.

“So that’s Jimin.” Jaebeom trails off. “Is he living with you now?” 

“No, he’s not.” You reply stiffly. “He’s-“ For some reason you feel the need to explain yourself to him, even though you’ve determined that him getting the wrong idea would be to your benefit. But you just can’t stop yourself. “We were only hanging out. As friends.”

“As friends.” He repeats, taking in the information and digesting it, processing it with a nod of his head. You can’t decipher what he’s thinking and it’s beginning to frustrate you that he’s so unreadable. Though, you still don’t sense any jealousy from him. He never did come off as the jealous type anyway. He takes a step back from you with a half smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and doesn’t say anything until you question it. 

“What’s that look for?” You don’t try to hide your confusion.

“Oh nothing, just looks like I’ve got some competition.” This time there’s a mischievous glint in his eye as he walks away, bidding you farewell with a wave of his hand and commenting that he’ll see you later. You kinda hope he doesn’t see you later because it seems that things just got a little more complicated for you. 

Even though Jaebeom didn’t stay long, it feels like that conversation lasted hours. All you want to do is curl up under your sheets and hide from everyone as you try to figure out what to do now. He’s obviously not going to give you up easily it seems but you wonder what he plans to do moving forward. Sighing, you watch as his car drives away from your home before turning around and entering your house again, only to be faced with problem #2. Jimin.

He’s still standing a few steps from the door, not even hiding that he had been watching you talk to Jaebeom, feeling brazen due to his curiosity. You stand there staring at each other for what feels like an eternity, neither of you knowing what to say, until you break the unbearable silence finally.

“I’m guessing you want to know who that was?” Pointing a thumb behind you at the door. 

“I mean… you don’t have to tell me anything, it’s your life, you have a right to privacy.” He states, which you find funny because he was just eavesdropping not even seconds ago. You call him out on it.

“Says the person who was just standing with an ear pressed to my door to listen to my conversation.” You sass with a click of your tongue, letting a tiny smile creep up your cheeks so he doesn’t take your sentence as being hostile. He rolls his eyes at you, countering that he was not “listening in” with his ear to the door, but he does admit that he was watching from the window. “Just admit it, you were curious.”  You say with a laugh.

“Fine. But who wouldn’t be when a mysterious and handsome gentleman comes to your door in the middle of the morning to hand you- what is that, a jacket?” Jimin gestures down to your hands where you’re still holding your jacket, prompting you to walk into your bedroom to put it with the rest of your dirty clothes in the hamper. He follows closely behind you. “So, is that the guy you’ve been seeing?”

“Yeah, his name is Jaebeom.” You concede, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “But like I said before, it’s not that serious. He just came to give me back this jacket I left in his car. Don’t think too much about it.”

“It’s not serious but he drove all the way over here at the crack of dawn to give you back something as trivial as a jacket?” He questions, giving you a look.

“I haven’t been able to see him in a while so he just wanted to return it in case I needed it, you know, since he doesn’t know when or if he’ll see me again.” Your voice starts to take on a defensive tone, it going up in pitch with every word. You idly begin to tidy up, walking around to the other side of the bed to fix the sheets and put some distance between you and Jimin. He doesn’t buy your explanation, shaking his head.

“I can tell you right now that that’s not true. I bet he just missed you and was using that as an excuse to see your lovely face again. It’s what I would do.” You pause at his subtle compliment and at how spot-on his assessment of the situation was. Sure, he’s always been perceptive like this, but it catches you off guard every time. You don’t have anything else to say to him, so you continue to make your bed. “And what do you mean by ‘if’ you see him again?” He uses air quotes with his fingers for effect. “Are you not planning on seeing him anymore?”

You sigh again, moving to the other side of he bed to finish your work, pulling at the sheets more aggressively than necessary at his line of questioning. “I don’t know, Jimin. I haven’t decided yet.”

“Well why not? He seems like a nice enough guy, do you not like him anymore?”

“I don’t know.” It’s not that you don’t like him, it’s just that you’ve been distracted by someone else for the time being.

“How long have you been seeing him for?”

“A few months.”

“A few months is a long time to not know if you like someone or not, (Y/n). It’s obvious you do like him.”

“So what?” He’s starting to annoy you.

“So, you have no real reason not to see him again.” Jimin steps a tiny bit closer to you.

“Okay?”

“What I’m saying is, if you like him then you should continue seeing him.”

“That’s not really your call to make, Jimin.”

“But you’re already practically dating.”

“No we’re not, it’s just casual.” The thought of dating anyone else that isn’t him sends a chill up your spine for some reason.

“So you just casually like each other and have been seeing each other for months?” When he puts it like that it does sound like you should be dating. And your chemistry with Jaebeom is undeniable. But you both decided to take it slow and go at your own pace to see how things turned out. And it just so happens that things took a drastic turn when Jimin returned so of course you wouldn’t know how to feel about him yet. You don’t say any of that though.

“It’s- complicated.”

“I don’t understand.” 

“It’s not for you to understand, it’s not your relationship.”

“I’m just trying to make sure you’re not throwing away an opportunity here. If you like him, you should keep seeing him. If you didn’t like him that would be different, but I can see how awkward you got when he saw me. You clearly didn’t want to give him the wrong impression, which means you care about what he thinks of you.” He’s completely right and you know it, but it really isn’t his place to say any of this to you. He doesn’t know anything about you and Jaebeom. And why does he care so much in the first place? It’s almost as if he wants you to date Jaebeom instead of him. You can’t, for the life of you, figure out why he would want that though and it hurts to think that he isn’t planning on being in your life in the way you want him to be. Your sadness then turns to anger.

“Can you please just drop it?!” You hate to raise your voice at him but he’s pissing you off. “It’s actually making me uncomfortable to talk about this with you. And no offense to you but I didn’t ask for relationship advice.” You say this as neutrally as possible and Jimin knows you truly didn’t mean it in a hurtful way. But somehow it seems to hurt worse when you say it like that. He drops the subject immediately.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to… sorry I overstepped.” He looks down at his feet when you turn to look at him. He can hear you take a deep breath. “I should probably go soon, I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“You could at least stay for breakfast.” You offer quietly, trying to show him that there were no hard feelings after your mini argument. Of course, you expect him to reject your offer now that you’ve told him he made you feel uncomfortable. You prepare yourself to say goodbye to him earlier than you’d like. But surprisingly, he agrees to stay, possibly because it’s a free meal and he’s excited to eat your cooking, though you warn him that you’re no master chef. 

He helps you cook a simple breakfast then you both sit at your small dining table in silence. It feels so domestic and familiar eating with him like this in your own home. What makes it feel even more like your old relationship is how you two can have a disagreement then turn around and go back to normal like nothing happened. Eating with him now reminds you of your last dinner together, when you cooked together and sat across from one another at this very same table, discussing his work trip and you trying to convince him not to go. The air was tense back then, all of your stress bubbling to the surface as he did his best to ease your nerves. You’d raised your voice at him then too, accusing him of invalidating your emotions and not taking you seriously, but he remained calm and tried to listen to you more actively, hearing you out genuinely and even expressing that you were starting to make him nervous with how serious you were. But ultimately, his response was that he couldn’t skip this work trip just based on your bad feeling alone since his boss already had it out for him and would almost certainly fire him if he skipped out. None of his coworkers were available to go on the trip so it would damage the company’s reputation if they didn’t send someone out to the conference. He explained all of this to you and you shook your head with every word he said, pointing out that his job wouldn’t matter if he’s too dead to attend the conference. You remember him sighing, thinking hard, but concluding that he simply couldn’t miss it. In hindsight you were absolutely right, and a cloud forms over your head when you think of this.

Noticing your unexplained change of mood, Jimin clears his throat and speaks. “Jungkook mentioned you the other day.” You look up from your plate.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He said you didn’t keep in contact after I disappeared.” Biting your lip, you look back down, pressing your lips into a line. 

“I didn’t keep in touch with anyone after you disappeared.” You mumble, picking at your food. Another minute passes.

“You went through a tough time after losing me, didn’t you?” Jimin’s eyes meet yours and there you find sincerity, sympathy, and a tad bit of guilt. Shocked by his sudden statement, flashes of those three long years play back in your mind, almost sending you into a spiral. Looking away, you try to force your eyes not to get glassy. It takes you a while to find your voice.

“It was… hard. Really hard.” Is all you can say. The low that you hit after losing Jimin was something that you never thought you’d come out of alive. But you made it anyway, so you try not to think about the worst of it. “It took a lot of work for me to get to where I am now. Or at least to where you found me when you first came home. Which, admittedly, still wasn’t a great place. You would not have wanted to see me back then.”

Your eyes tell a story of a million words and he can see the pain still fresh in them even as you lower your head. He nods in understanding, taking a shaky deep breath before addressing you again, something changing in his face. “I don’t know if anyone has told you this before, but I’m so sorry you had to go through that. And I’m so so proud of you that you made it through.” His hand reaches across the table to find yours and this time a tear rolls down your cheek before you can catch it. You use your shoulder to wipe it, apologizing for getting so emotional. 

“No, no one has ever said that to me before. Thank you, Jimin.” You muster a smile, tightening your hand in his.

This is the kind of intimate moment that you missed having with him. He’s always been amazing at giving reassurance and encouragement, at telling people how he feels regardless of the reaction it gets from them. Sometimes it sparks arguments like the one you just had. Other times they can be really touching. He’s always had a way with words and you don’t think you’ll get to have moments like this with anyone else but him. Jaebeom at least has never said anything like this to you. He did show sympathy when you told him about Jimin initially, but it wasn’t the same. Could you be with someone who wasn’t like this when you needed them to be? Could you be with someone who isn’t Jimin?

After the moment passes, Jimin lets go of your hand in favor of picking up his utensil to continue eating as if he hadn’t just said the most impactful thing you’ve heard in a long while. You blink away the rest of your tears and stuff another mouthful of food in you cheeks, hoping it will make the lump in your throat go away. 

You found processing the events of last week to be challenging. You went through a rollercoaster of emotions from the moment Jaebeom appeared on your doorstep and now you have to deal with the aftermath of it. Jaebeom apparently took you having Jimin over as a sign to try even harder to win you over, and it has been an interesting few days to say the least. 

You currently have an audit at work and your boss has been working you to the bone to make sure everything is perfect, so you haven’t had much time to do anything but eat, sleep, and work. Again, you are struck by a mix of emotions because you feel relieved that you have a real excuse not to see Jaebeom, but at the same time you feel guilty and anxious about not having time to see or talk to Jimin. Jimin has been acting strangely ever since your encounter with the other man. You found out that his old friend Namjoon helped him get a corporate job that he seemed excited about (which you find funny because he always used to say that he never wanted to work in corporate), so he’s been just as busy as you settling into his new job. But that doesn’t excuse him from not responding to your texts and being standoffish when he does respond. He seemed fine when he left your home last week, but after that he’s been… odd. You get the feeling that he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore and you have no idea why. Maybe he took offense to something you said during your argument. The line about not asking him for relationship advice was pretty harsh and Jimin is a sensitive guy so that could be it. But then again, why didn’t he show that he was hurt while he was at your place? Why would he wait an entire week to be upset? You just can’t seem to wrap your head around it and it’s been driving you nuts.

Speaking of driving you nuts, Jaebeom has been the exact opposite of Jimin. He’s been more interactive with you than ever, sending you good morning and good night texts, checking in with you throughout the day, offering you a space to vent after you told him you’ve been stressed (though you haven’t taken him up on his offer because you really shouldn’t be talking to him anymore in the first place), and writing you cute little paragraphs to encourage you with your audit even when you don’t respond. He really would be the perfect boyfriend, but all his efforts do is annoy you at this point.  Everything that he does to win you over is a mirror image of the things Jimin used to do when you were together, so even when he is right in front of you, all you can think about is Jimin and how badly you want to be with him instead of with this other man. The longer you’re away from Jimin, the lonelier you feel, and you think you’ve spent enough time without the man that you love. Jaebeom is nice and all, but he’s just not the one that can fill the void in your heart, no matter how hard he tries. Not when Jimin is still around. It’ll be a tough pill to swallow for him, but you’ve decided you’ve dragged this out long enough. Plus, your level of irritation grows with every romantic gesture he attempts.

When you walked into work this morning there was a bouquet of flowers on your desk along with a teddy bear— flashy and oh-so-embarrassing. All of your coworkers (the sons of bitches) were crowded around you as you opened the card attached to see who they were from, and instead of your heart soaring from the gesture, it sank. The flowers were from Jaebeom, of course, and they also contained a short message that read:

“I tried to find flowers as beautiful as you, but it was impossible so I just got you your favorite. See you tonight at 6pm, your place ;)”

What. The. Hell.

First of all, he doesn’t know if you’re even available tonight so he’s got some nerve planning a spontaneous date like this. Second, nearly everyone in your office has now seen his invitation and are gushing over how you have a hot date, asking you a million questions about who this person is and how you got so lucky. They’re all assuming that this is your new boyfriend after getting over Jimin and you’re too embarrassed to correct them, silently moving the flowers and bear aside to start your tasks for the day. At the end of the day you give the stuffed bear to the wide eyed intern and leave the flowers in the break room to wilt in the dark.

Six o’clock sharp rolls around and you get a knock at your door.

You’re still dressed in work clothes, bags under your eyes from working an overtime shift, and no patience to deal with the man at your front door. You’re going to have to break the news tonight before this goes any farther; he doesn’t deserve to be strung along. 

“Good evening, madam!” Jaebeom greets, presenting you with a basket as soon as the door is opened all the way, filled with candies and snacks. Immediately you’re hit with flashes of memories of Jimin doing this exact thing, showing up at your old home before you moved in together with a basket of your favorite goodies “just because” and showering you with love and affection after you told him about the shitty day you’d had. You’re forced to blink the memories away and you’re at a loss for words, unsure of how to tell this other man that he’s wasted his time and money on you because you just simply cannot get over your past. 

He seems to get embarrassed by your silence, lowering the basket when it becomes apparent that you have no intention of taking it. The air around you becomes awkward but he shakes it off, still sporting that handsome grin. He really is good looking, and if Jimin didn’t exist you would have been dating him by now. In another universe you probably never meet Jimin. Never get to fall in love with him or get to know what an amazing person he is. In another universe Jaebeom probably doesn’t meet you when you’re at your lowest, broken almost beyond repair and he doesn’t have to work so hard to get you to like him. He probably does all of the things he’s doing in this timeline and you crumble into his arms at every gesture, at every text, at every smile. In another life you end up with Jaebeom and you live happily ever after. But in this timeline, in this life, you don’t want him the way that he wants you. You long for someone who you thought was out of reach, but has returned to you once again out of thin air like magic. They say if you love something you have to let it go, and if it comes back it’s meant to be. Well, you let Jimin go once, albeit unwillingly, and he came back from the dead to be with you again. You’d be wrong not to take the opportunity to get him back, even if that means losing the man that’s standing right in front of you. Ready and willing to give his heart away to you if you’d only have him. You can’t have them both so you have to break someone’s heart to have what you really want. That thought makes you a bit sad and you try not to show it on your face, steeling yourself for what you have to say.

“I’m kinda surprised you actually showed up.” Is the first thing you say to him, wiping your hands on your pants.

“Of course I showed up, I’m the one that planned the date!” He laughs, but you don’t do the same, only offering him an awkward smile. “How was work?”

“It was fine.” Your answer is curt and he notices immediately that something is off.

“You sure? You seem a little down.” He steps closer, expecting you to move aside and let him into your home, and when you don’t move his eyebrows lift in surprise. “May I come in?” He tries, starting to get nervous. Well that makes two of you.

“Um, sure. But I- can we talk?” You’re stuttering now and you clear your throat to get the nerves out of your shaky voice. He nods solemnly like you’re about to tell him that someone died, dread filling your gut as you try to prepare your words to make this go as smoothly as possible. Finally, you move aside to let him into your home, and he hesitates for a moment before stepping inside.

Jimin has been thinking of you all week. Thinking about all of the things he’s learned about you over the past few months and feeling that ache in his heart from missing you. He’s been a bit cold to you recently because he felt like he was in the wrong for pursuing you since you had already been seeing someone, and he doesn’t want to get in the way of that if you truly want to be with that other person. He’s also been distancing himself because of the heavy guilt that he’s been feeling after grasping how tough losing him was for you. He knows it wasn’t his fault but deep down he feels like it was. He’s the reason you struggled during those 3 years, and even though he doesn’t know all of the details, he can sense that you are still struggling in some way. His biggest fear is hurting you and he’d rather lose you than hurt you so deeply again.

So why is your place the first place he thought to drive to after getting his drivers license today? He’s got his GPS out and is turning the corner onto your street with no real goal in mind, simply wanting you to be the first to know that he passed. And also because he missed seeing your face. Of course he feels terrible for being so stand-offish to you too and wants to apologize in person. He just can’t sort out his emotions between you seeing Jaebeom, him being the reason for your poor mental health, and his heart wanting him to just confess his feelings to you, everything is all jumbled up. But seeing you tonight might clear some things up for him and he knows that once he sees you he’ll make up his mind on how to proceed.

Pulling up to your house, he can see a car that isn’t yours in the driveway. He’s seen it before, recently, and it doesn’t click whose car it is until he sees the man standing outside your door. There Jaebeom stands, basket in hand, dressed nicely like he’s going on a date. And you are in the doorway talking to him, dressed in a lovely pants suit with your hair pinned up, stepping aside to let him into your home. As Jimin gets closer he sees Jaebeom nod, then take a step forward to enter your home and his heart sinks. Again he feels like he’s intruding on something and his face gets hot in embarrassment. Of course you’re going to continue seeing Jaebeom, you never said you would stop seeing him even though you denied that you were dating. And he’s the one that was encouraging you to continue seeing him in the first place, so there’s no real reason for him to be upset. Except he is upset. But more than that, he’s disappointed. It hurts more than he thought it would to see you with someone else, and it feels like his world is crumbling apart at the thought that you might end up with this man instead of him. 

He continues driving past your house with stinging eyes, feeling silly for feeling the way he does. Like he said, you shouldn’t throw away the opportunity to be with someone you like just because of him, and part of him still feels that way, but the bigger part of him wishes you would ignore his words and still choose him.

Inside your home, Jaebeom sits awkwardly on your couch playing with his fingers as you take your time locking your front door and trudging over to him. You sit next to him, turning your body slightly towards his and it is a lot like the last time you had him over, except the air is much more tense. 

“So what did you want to talk about?” He asks, though he probably has an idea of what you’re going to say. Swallowing hard, you wrack your brain for the right words to say.

“I don’t really know how to say this so I’ll just cut to the chase. Jaebeom,” you start, talking with measured words. “Getting to know you over these last few months was truly a pleasure. You’re smart, handsome, funny, and all around one of the most patient people I’ve ever met, and I am really attracted to you, truly. But-“

“You’re still in love with him?” He cuts you off with a quiet voice, a whisper so quiet you almost don’t hear it. 

You pause with a frown, nodding slowly, and he lowers his head. Your voice takes on a deeper tone, soft and almost as heartbroken as his. “I know how much effort you put into trying to make me happy. When we met, I was a shell of who I used to be and you were one of the main people that stayed patient with me and helped bring me back to life. Even though you never saw who I was before… everything that happened… you still had faith that I was more than that lifeless lump of flesh that couldn’t even muster a smile at the nice gentleman who offered to pay for all of my groceries when I forgot my wallet at home.” You half laugh at the thought, recounting how Jaebeom had been in front of you in line at the store, packing away his things into his cart when he overheard you talking with the cashier about how you had left your wallet and would have to abandon the small cart of items you needed. You didn’t have much, only about 10 items, and Jaebeom graciously walked over and paid for them after hearing the sadness in your voice. You thanked him profusely without making eye contact and he admitted that he found it cute, finally causing you to look up at him. His smile was almost blinding and it only caused your heart to ache as you remembered another blinding smile that you thought you’d never see again. He asked for your number when you asked how you could repay him, and selfishly you gave it to him, knowing it was only because his smile reminded you of Jimin, and even now you feel guilty about it because you’ve roped him into more than he bargained for just because you were looking for a replacement to pull you out of your grief. You feel like a terrible person. And maybe you are. “And even now, you continue to bring me gifts and wear your heart on your sleeve for me even knowing there was a possibility that Jimin coming back might change things between us.” You gesture at the basket of goodies sitting on your coffee table. “You plan spontaneous dates and send flowers to my job and show up to my house all dressed up— you do all of this for someone that you aren’t even sure likes you the same way, and that just tells me that you are so, so genuine and thoughtful, and it’s crushing me that I can’t reciprocate. I do like you, it’s just that my heart is pulling me in a different direction. And it is totally not fair to you that you did all the work to get me back to a place where I can accept love again and you don’t even get to reap the rewards of your labor. But it’s also not fair to you to be strung along like some toy. I’m so sorry that I wasted your time, you deserve so much better than me.”

Looking down, you end your monologue and wait for his reaction, a little scared of how he’ll respond. Jaebeom doesn’t seem like the type to lash out, but with all that you’ve just said who knows what his response will be. What you don’t expect is to feel his hand gently on your thigh, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You look up to find him giving you a sad smile, not an ounce of malice in his gaze as he looks at you.

“Why do you look so sad, beautiful? It’s not your heart that’s being broken.” He gives you a half smile and you nearly burst into tears, feeling so yucky for rejecting this sweet man. He removes his hand from you, running it from his forehead to the back of his head with a sigh. “I kinda knew this was coming, you’ve been dodging me for weeks.” Your face goes pale and he laughs. “Yeah, I noticed, but don’t feel too bad. This is a hard conversation to have so I don’t blame you for putting it off.” Your wide eyes cause him to grin, lifting his head to look at the ceiling. “I wasn’t sending you flowers and bringing you gifts solely to win you over. Partly, it was because I love seeing you smile and I hoped it would brighten your day at least a little. You always seem so conflicted when we see each other. Like you’re battling with yourself in your head about something no one else would understand. First it was with grief, now it’s love, but it seems like two sides to the same coin to me. I understand that it’s probably so hard on you to be between the idea of moving on from your past and going back to what you know, and I commend you for actually coming to a decision about it. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t know what to do and I would probably keep both options in limbo for much longer than you did. But, man, it really sucks being on the losing side.” He sighs.

“I’m sorry.” You find yourself apologizing before you can stop yourself.

“Don’t apologize, you had to choose someone. But just know, I don’t regret anything that I did within these past months. I don’t regret meeting you or getting to know you. Or being a part of this love triangle and trying to win you over. Though I have to say, it wasn’t a fair competition.”

“What do you mean by that?” Your eyebrows knit in an adorable way and he has to look away from you before he can let his heart flutter.

“I mean, how could I possibly compete with someone who brightens your life that much? Ever since you told me he came back you’ve been so much happier. I can see it in your entire demeanor, with how you carry yourself now, with how your eyes look lively and free. I was only able to bring out glimpses of that in you, but- Jimin, was it?- he is able to change your entire world. So how could I be upset when in the end you’ll get to be yourself again after all these years and live happily ever after? I only want the best for you, and if you are your best self with somebody else, then who am I to get in the way of that?”

Feeling your eyes well up with tears, you close them and take a shaky breath. Jaebeom is just too good to be true. You never thought you’d be the one brought to tears in this situation, but here you are, crying at the heartfelt words of the man you didn’t choose. You tell yourself that that other version of you in another universe is happy with him. Running into his arms and accepting his love instead of crushing it under the heel of her foot like you are right now. That picture of the other version of him stays with you as well, hugging you and pouring all of his love and adoration onto you instead of swallowing it down like he’s doing now, putting on a brave face to save your feelings even when you’re trampling all over his. 

Opening your eyes, you spread your arms to ask silently for a hug, and he scoots closer to accept. Nuzzling your face in his shoulder, you let a few tears slip free. The hug you share communicates all of your remaining emotions that you don’t have the words for, and you hope he hears them loud and clear. The way he squeezes you tells you he does, and it’s a long minute before you’re pulling away, wiping your eyes with a smile and observing how his are now glassy too. 

“So this is it, huh?” He asks, looking at you longingly.

“Yeah.” You frown.

“I… guess I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.” You choke out.

He sits there for a second longer, staring at you as if committing your face to memory, before getting up from your couch and heading to the door. You don’t follow him and he lets himself out, leaving you staring into space with a heavy heart, listening to the sounds of his footsteps getting farther away until you hear his car door shut, the engine turn on, and the sound of his wheels leaving your driveway. 

The ache in Jimin’s heart grows every day that he doesn’t talk to you. It wouldn’t be too far off to say that he’s pouting by not texting you back, but he just can’t seem to bring himself to reply after what he saw that night. Plus, he’s been caught up with his new job and things have been hectic as he looks for a place to move out of his parent’s house to. No, that’s an excuse. The reality is that he has all the time in the world when he’s not at work, and he has chosen to use that time to sulk about not being with you instead of trying to continue your friendship or even ask you for answers. But even if he were to ask you for answers, he’s almost positive that he won’t like the answer to the question “why did you invite Jaebeom into your house that night?” You would probably only break his heart more by saying that you decided to be with Jaebeom instead and that you were inviting him in to make sweet love in his absence. That thought makes him frown deeply, a pit of jealousy forming in his gut. 

But that’s what he wanted, right? You should have the chance to move on with someone else after the pain you’ve endured. You should be with someone that makes you happy and if that person is Jaebeom then he has no right to speak against it.

Blazing white shines through his window and angles right into his already open eyes, no need for an alarm as he’s already been awake all night. One cup of coffee, black, and a bowl of his favorite cereal. His mother is in the living room crocheting as he walks past to use the restroom, watching him as he drags his feet with eyes half open. A fleeting thought of you crosses his mind, of how you told him you used to find it so funny that his eyes barely open in the morning when he’s still sleepy and how you found it so endearing how clingy and cuddly he used to get. He’s still like this, craving the warmth of your body this morning, but you’re not here to supply him with cuddles or love and affection because you’re giving it to another man. His mother watches as he nearly runs into the doorframe of the bathroom on his way out, still locked in his heartbreaking daydream of you snuggled up with that handsome stranger.

“Jimin-ah,” his mom calls, concerned by how disoriented and sad her son looks. “When is the last time you left the house, honey?” 

“Hm? I leave every day to go to work…” he replies back quietly.

“That doesn’t count. When is the last time you left the house for something that wasn’t work?”

Since he saw you at your house about 5 days ago. She already knows the answer so he doesn’t have to say this out loud, and she forces him to call up Taehyung and Jungkook to spend some time with them to raise his spirits. And hopefully they can talk some sense into him.

Jimin sits uncomfortably at the table as his two best friends stare back at him with blank looks of disbelief, looking at him as if he were stupid after he explains what he saw that night. The boba shop buzzes with people on this busy weekend afternoon, somehow making their silence that much more unsettling.

“What? Why are you guys staring at me like that?” He whines after an excruciating minute passes without them saying anything. He can’t read either of their thoughts from their expressions and it’s making him nervous. 

“I’m so sorry to say this, but that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” Jungkook states, shaking his head in dismay at his friend’s stupidity. “So you just assumed they were going on a date and drove off without confirming?”

“What else was I supposed to do? Go knock on her door and ask her “hey are you going on a date with him right now?” just for her to laugh and say ‘yes’ and slam the door in my face?”

“Could it be possible that she didn’t set up the date and he was just coming over to surprise her? You know, since he’s kinda competing with you to earn her affections?” Tae asks, trying to wrap his head around Jimin’s thought process.

“I mean, that could have been what was happening, but I think it’s much more likely that he came over to go on a date with her.” Jimin pouts, taking a sip of his boba drink. 

“Okay, say that was what happened and they were going out on a date. That doesn’t mean that she’s made a decision to date him instead of you. Wasn’t (Y/n) going out on dates with this Jaebeom character at the same time that she was seeing you?” Jungkook tries to reason, earning a frown from Jimin.

“Yes, but this just felt different. It looked like there was some tension between them when he was walking into her house, like something was about to happen between them.”

“I mean, tension isn’t always sexual, she could have been about to break his heart and tell him she doesn’t want to see him anymore. Were they smiling or was the vibe serious?” Taehyung swirls the liquid in his cup, watching as the tapioca pearls spin around the bottom, seeming half uninterested in the conversation.

“It was more serious, but I don’t really know because I didn’t get a clear look at their faces.” Jimin admits, trying to think back to what you looked like. He definitely doesn’t remember you smiling or anything though.

“Then there’s a possibility that I’m right and she was inviting him in to have the breakup talk with him. Well, it isn’t really a break up if they weren’t actually together.” Jimin doesn’t say anything to this so Taehyung continues. “The way I see it is, it doesn’t really matter what they were doing or talking about that night, what matters is your response to it. Are you just going to roll over and let this other guy steal your girl from you when she’s clearly still into you?”

“Tae’s right, are you really going to just let him have her?” Jungkook adds, both of them looking at Jimin expectantly. He lets out a deep sigh, looking sadder than ever. 

“The thing is, she’s not my girl, I don’t own her and she doesn’t owe me anything. I can’t just treat her like I’m entitled to her heart when she clearly has feelings for someone other than me.”

At this, both men laugh, causing Jimin to look up at them, confused. “Yeah right, tell that to her.” Jungkook says through a snicker, taking a sip of his boba.

“Huh?”

“Dude, the way you’ve got her heart in shackles is ridiculous. I’m not sure if she even knows you don’t literally own her, I haven’t seen her even glance at another man since she met you.” Taehyung laughs.

Jungkook nearly bounces with excitement as he recalls something from the depths of his memory, nudging Taehyung with his elbow. “Hyung! Remember in high school when that guy from her class confessed to her in front of all 3 of us and she told him she had “feelings for someone else” while making direct eye contact with Jimin?” 

“Yes! And she didn’t even know his name! She called him “Daehyun” when his name was Doyoung.” Taehyung laughs uproariously, slapping the younger man on the shoulder. “Man, we teased her about that for years after you two finally got together,” He addresses Jimin, who looks lost as usual. But he’s gotten used to being the odd man out when people reminisce, simply wanting to know more about the story, especially if it involves him. “And just like you are now, you were completely clueless to how she felt.”

“I don’t know how you didn’t catch on after that, she was literally staring you down when she said it. I could almost see the cartoon arrow sign above her head pointing at you saying “it’s YOU, Jimin, I have feelings for YOU”. I still can’t believe it took you almost 2 months after that to ask her out.” Jungkook sighs, shaking his head.

“Yeah, because he was “unsure” if she liked him back.” Taehyung says, rolling his eyes as Jimin looks between the both of them.

“How can you be unsure if someone like (Y/n) likes you back? She’s not the most subtle, at least not when it comes to you.” Jungkook is right. You have never been able to hide your expressions around Jimin, or stop yourself from getting shy, or stop the word vomit that comes with being nervous and oversharing things about yourself because you don’t want Jimin to misunderstand anything when it comes to you. Jimin has seen the word vomit first hand, when you were trying to explain Jaebeom’s relationship to you, desperately trying to get him to understand just how insignificant Jaebeom is to you. 

“Thanks for bringing that up, Kookie, I’m now 100% convinced that (Y/n) doesn’t even know that other men exist. She’s only ever had eyes for you, Jimin.” Sounding completely certain, Taehyung leans back in his seat as if to say that that’s the end of the conversation. But that nagging voice in the back of Jimin’s head reminds him of how nervous you looked when Jaebeom came to your door that day and saw him standing there. And how stiff you got when he started questioning you about Jaebeom.

“But she clearly does know other men exist, she’s been dating one for months.” Jimin says quietly, crossing his arms on the table and resting his chin on them. “Things have changed since high school. Both of us have changed so it’s not impossible to think that she grew to have feelings for someone else.”

“Even if she does have feelings for this guy, her feelings for you obviously outweigh her feelings for him. I’m not sure how you don’t see that.” Jungkook is starting to get irritated with the back and forth resistance that Jimin keeps giving them. Why is it so damn hard to get him to see that you want him and only him? “Wasn’t she the one who kept saying that the two of them weren’t dating when you were asking her about it? That doesn’t sound like someone who wants the other man.”

“Right. Plus, she waited a whole 3 years before even attempting to date. She wouldn’t even think about breathing in another man’s direction after your disappearance because she didn’t want to be disrespectful to you and also because she still had such deep feelings for you that it was sickening to even think about anyone else. You think those feelings just disappeared overnight because some other guy came into the picture?” Tae tries to reason, but it only makes Jimin feel worse. He’s already held you back so much, he’d hate to be the reason you give up on finding love elsewhere. 

“I- I don’t know.” Jimin buries his face him his arms, a headache forming behind his eyes at the rushing thoughts running through his mind. He’s torn, and even though his friends tell him otherwise, he can’t help thinking that your feelings reside with someone else. He’s frustrated with himself that he just can’t accept that you want to be with him, and he doesn’t know how to convince himself that it’s true.

“Well, we’ve said all we can say to convince you. Now it’s up to you to decide whether or not you’ll pursue her.” Jungkook concludes, finishing the rest of his drink and using his straw to suck up the remaining pearls at the bottom of his cup, nearly choking as one flies up the straw and down his throat.

“But just know,” Taehyung starts, patting Jungkook on the back as he coughs, “if push comes to shove, we’ll be on (Y/n)’s side so you better not fuck up.” His ominous warning sends a chill up Jimin’s spine as Jungkook nods in agreement. He sounds like a protective older brother threatening his little sister’s boyfriend, and there’s a flash of familiarity in the feeling it gives him. As if Taehyung has said or expressed the same sentiment to him before. He wants to ask if he’s said that before, but Jimin is far too intimidated by Taehyung’s deep voice to ask.

Jimin goes home with a lot to think about, both of his friends having made valid points. His room feels empty and large and he cuddles up with a pillow to try to replace the warmth that he craves from you, thinking about how he could have you all to himself if it wasn’t for Jaebeom. He picks up his phone and begins typing, wanting to let you know that he didn’t mean to ghost you, that he’s been missing you like crazy, and that he wants to see you soon if you’ll let him. But he ends up deleting his message when he thinks back to your face, how you’ll probably be upset with him for reaching out to you after all this time. Or maybe you’ll be nervous and hesitant to reply because you don’t know how to tell him that you’ve chosen Jaebeom instead and only want to be friends moving forward. Or worse, you’ll leave him on read just as he’s done to you and block him and he’ll never get the chance to talk to you again because you no longer want him in your life and he has to respect that. Jimin is spiraling, the bad thoughts mixing with the good: your beautiful smiling face followed by thoughts of you kissing Jaebeom, the feeling of your warm hands cradling his face like you did the first time he saw you, followed by his name being blocked in your phone. He starts to feel a bit nauseous and stands up from his bed, dragging his feet on the way to the shower where no one can see the tears that begin to drip from his eyes as he runs hot water over his face. 

It’s the next day and you wake from a dreamless sleep, not feeling rested at all. In fact, you haven’t gotten a good nights sleep since Jimin stopped responding to you almost a week ago. You’ve always known Jimin to be a stubborn one, but this is just too much. It has been far too long without hearing from him and you’re starting to get nervous. Did you do something to make him angry? You’ve barely spoken to him in the past 2 weeks, with him not even bothering to reply beginning about 6 days ago, so you doubt you’ve done anything wrong. Has he simply given up on you? You sure hope not. Jimin is a lover, not a fighter, you know this, but you desperately hope he hasn’t been intimidated by Jaebeom to the point that he’d stop chasing after you. But maybe that’s exactly what happened. He told you he wanted you to move on, to find happiness with the opportunity right in front of you, but you had no idea he would completely take himself out of the running by ghosting you. Just the thought of him doing that pisses you off and you are 5 seconds away from calling him up to ask for an explanation before another thought pops into your mind. 

Taehyung has always been on your side with these types of things. In the past, when Jimin would do something to piss you off or if he was being unreasonable, it was always Taehyung who played the middle man and talked some sense into him. Maybe that’s what he needs to do now.

You: Hey, I need your help with something

Taeddy Bear 🧸: If this is about Jimin then I’m in

You: …You don’t even know what I’m going to ask

Taeddy Bear 🧸: I’d even be down if you said you wanted to murder him for ghosting you

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Cuz honestly? Same

Taeddy Bear 🧸: What is it?

You: So he told you he’s been ghosting me?

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Basically

Taeddy Bear 🧸: He seems torn between talking to you and giving you space

You: Space? Why the hell would I need space???

You: We didn’t have an argument or anything

Taeddy Bear 🧸: 🤷🏻 but it seems like he convinced himself that you’ve chosen the other guy over him

You: No??? Why would he think that?

Taeddy Bear 🧸: He saw him at your house last week and assumed you were going out with him

You: 😐

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Hey don’t shoot the messenger

You: I literally told Jaebeom I don’t want to talk to him anymore that night! All he had to do was wait a day 🙄

Taeddy Bear 🧸: I tried to tell him! He was convinced that something spicy was happening between you two

You: Spicy how 🤨

Taeddy Bear 🧸: He thought you were *inviting him in*😏

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Not inviting him in to talk

You: 🤦 God he’s such an idiot 😭😭

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Yeahhh but you love him

You: I do 😫😭

Taeddy Bear 🧸: So we have to do something about this!!

Taeddy Bear 🧸: What do you need me to do?

Just as you thought, Taehyung is as helpful as ever in devising a plan for you to confront Jimin. You both agreed that if you told him to just meet you that he’d either say no, or say yes and be extremely anxious about it to the point where he’d almost be in tears from stress, so you decided to surprise him with your presence at a neutral place.

The doorbell rings at Taehyung’s place, the weekend finally here again and the boys lounging around together. Taehyung’s ears perk up at the sound like a dog, struggling to hide his mischievous grin as he knows exactly who is at the door. 

“Jimin-ah, can you get that?” He asks politely, motioning for Jungkook to sit when the younger man begins to stand. The muscle bunny looks confused, but Taehyung gives him a look that says he’ll explain later.

“Why can’t you get it? It’s your house.” Jimin yawns, not loving the idea of getting up from his comfortable position. His eyes are fixated on the tv screen and he whines when Tae hits pause and the action stops.

“You’re closest to the door.” Tae bickers back, throwing a piece of candy at his best friend. The doorbell rings again and this time Jimin shifts to get up, groaning like an old man as his knees crack when he stands.

“Fiiiiine.” He sighs, dragging his feet to the door, unsure of what to expect on the other side. Maybe there’s another one of Taehyung’s friends coming over that he has yet to meet. Or maybe it’s a package or food delivery. Whatever Jimin is thinking, he sure doesn’t expect to see you on the other side of the door, standing there picking at your fingers nervously, glancing up at him with almost as shocked an expression as him.

“O-oh, I wasn’t expecting you to be the one to open the door.” You stutter out, having expected to have a little more time to prepare before seeing him. His face goes pale at the sight of you and he takes a step backwards. His heart jumps because all he’s wanted to do for the past few days was see your face, but now that you’re here he doesn’t know what to say. Was this a set up? He looks behind him in the direction of his friends, though he can’t see them from the doorway, and silently curses them in his head. “Can we talk? Please?” 

He takes a deep breath, the consequences of his own actions and cowardice looking him right in the face with those beautiful eyes, so deep and genuine that he has no choice but to agree. “Sure. But let’s go in the back.” He suggests, not wanting any of Taehyung’s nosy neighbors to intrude on your conversation. The sound of his voice sends a shiver through you and you hide it with a nod. He moves aside to let you into his friend’s home, cutting his eye at the two men as they wave at you on your way to the back door, giving Jimin a thumbs up when you look away. 

The thought of having to talk to you makes his stomach twist because he has absolutely no idea what to say to you. You don’t even know the reason why he stopped responding, and knowing you, you’re probably thinking you did something wrong to deserve this treatment from him, when in reality, it’s his own cowardice that’s kept him from seeking the truth. But at the same time, he doesn’t think he’s prepared to hear what the truth is. He knows how shattered you are without him, but he has no idea just how shattered he’d be if he found out for certain that you won’t be his. 

He swallows hard when the back door finally shuts behind you, the two of you alone and staring at each other, almost daring the other to speak. He decides to take the lead when he sees that your lips remain in a fine line, swirling thoughts not coherent enough to speak yet despite you having practiced what you were going to say all night.

“I’m assuming you and Taehyung came up with this brilliant plan to corner me, huh?” He starts, turning his attention to the spider web that rests between the posts of the railing of Taehyung’s small deck. There sits a spider toward the center of the web, swaying in the wind and waiting for its prey to fly into its trap. Dark clouds roll overhead, the threat of a storm brewing.

“I’m not cornering you. You can leave whenever you want.” He makes no motions toward the door so you continue. “I only wanted to have a conversation with you and get some things off my chest, and since you’ve been ghosting me, this is the only way for me to do that.” Your pretty lips form into a small frown and all Jimin can think about is the way they look stretched into a smile. He’s the reason you aren’t smiling now, and he feels absolutely terrible about it, a knot forming in his stomach at the guilt he feels for not contacting you. “So, why the hell have you been ghosting me?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard it from Taehyung already…” he mumbles, looking away from you again. 

“Yeah, but I want to hear it from you.” You respond immediately, not letting up.

He takes a deep inhale, letting it out slowly as he thinks of what he saw at your place and all of the terrible nightmares he’s been having of you with Jaebeom and him ruining your happiness with him. “I… saw Jaebeom at your place last week. I know you’ve been seeing him for a while and that you like him so it’s only natural that you’d still be going on dates and inviting him in. It just felt like I was being a home wrecker by interjecting myself into your life while you were already seeing someone, and seeing you invite him into your house made me feel like I was intruding on your relationship. I mean, you guys would be practically dating at this point if it wasn’t for me showing up out of nowhere, so I decided it would be best for me to take myself out of the equation and let you be happy with him.”

“So you made the decision all by yourself to walk away based on an assumption that I had chosen him?” When you put it like that it sounds like he made a bad call. He nods regardless. “Why do you even think I chose him in the first place? Because he was at my house?”

“Because he was dressed up like you were about to go on a date, bringing you gifts and you were inviting him into your house. It didn’t seem like you were rejecting him.”

“So you decided to ghost me after seeing 5 seconds of an interaction with no context?” Your voice raises in volume just slightly, starting to get pissed off.

“What else did I need to see? Did you want me to sit outside your window and watch you have sex with him to determine if you were still seeing him or not?” He snaps back, looking irritated himself. He ignores the way your face contorts. “Listen, it’s fine if you want to be with him, just tell me. I was wrong for ghosting you, and I’m sorry, but I thought it would be easier for you if you didn’t have to decide between the two of us. I have feelings for you but I don’t want you to throw away your relationship with him because of me.”

“What relationship?!” Just listening to him say so many incorrect things at once is making your blood pressure go up. “Jimin, I invited him inside to reject him. I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore and that I had chosen you!”

At this he blinks, taking in the meaning of your words. You think he’s going to have an epiphany moment where he realizes just how dumb he was acting and apologize to you for assuming incorrectly, but instead he seems to get angry, which perplexes you.

“You broke up with him for me? But he’s literally the perfect man. You deserve the world and he looks like he could give it to you. Why would you throw away that for me?”

“I did not “break up” with him— for the millionth time— we were never together! And Jaebeom is a great guy and all but he is not the perfect man. You know how I know that? Because you are the perfect man. You are the perfect man for me.” You take a step closer to him, trying to get through to him. He’s always been like this, doubtful of himself and his worth. 

“How can you say that so confidently? I’m not the exact same person I was when we were together, (Y/n). I can’t remember any of the time we spent together before the accident so our relationship wouldn’t be the same if you do go back to me. You barely even know me anymore.” He looks down at his feet, feeling so insecure that he almost wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He just can’t wrap his head around the fact that you would choose him, someone with his memory and identity in shambles, over another man who has his life put together and memory intact, who is settled and has a great personality with an equal desire to make you happy. Your eyes squint at him at his last statement as if that was the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard in your life and the look on your face makes him take a step back. You look like you could strangle him for being so stubborn and thinking so lowly of himself.

“I do know you, Jimin! I probably know you better than you know yourself. I know that you like sleeping in on weekends but feel guilty if you sleep past 11am; I know that when you laugh too hard, your eyes shut and you can’t see until you stop laughing; I know that you had a friend in 2nd grade that made fun of you during show and tell and that’s why you don’t like speaking in front of crowds.” He looks at you incredulously, not expecting your word vomit. “I know that you like to drink! You can hold about 4 or 5 shots before you really start feeling it, but you prefer wine or whiskey on most nights. I know that you pride yourself on being meticulous and neat, and that you love when people notice and praise you about it! I know that you cry every time you watch “Inside Out” because Bing Bong was your favorite character.” 

“But that’s all surface level-“

“I know that you’re an overthinker that tends to doubt his self worth when it comes to other people, just like you’re doing now. I know that you haven’t changed from the person who proposed to me and cried his eyes out when I said yes because you had convinced yourself that I would say no. I know you value your friends and family more than anything in the world and would do whatever it takes to see them happy, even at the expense of yourself. I know that you’ve got a thick skull and won’t let anyone tell you otherwise once you’ve got your mind set on something, whether it be for work, relationships, or fun. And if it’s something negative about yourself that you’re struggling with, I know that you need a lot of reassurance to feel comfortable because you hate being an inconvenience to others.”

The entire time you ramble on, you don’t notice his flickering resolve. It both fills and breaks his heart because of how well you know him, and it only confuses him more. He should run from you and let you move on, he was your past and you deserve to step away from him and continue with your future. But at the same time, he hasn’t changed at all and your rant is proving that. Everything you say about him is true, and it shouldn’t be difficult to rebuild what he lost. Maybe he’s just afraid he won’t live up to who you once knew. But everything you say proves that he is still that person, and you still very much know him. 

Dropping your voice, you draw closer. “I know how amazing you are at listening to other people’s problems and offering emotional support, yet you find it hard to express your own feelings verbally sometimes. I know that you think you’re holding me back. And most importantly, I know that we once loved each other with all our hearts, and that I still love you just as much— if not more— than I did before.” Taking a breath, you stare at him, trying to understand what’s going through his head. “The point is, I don’t want you to distance yourself from me. I don’t want a new life with a new person. I don’t even want our old life together because even then we weren’t perfect! I just want you with me; the one that’s standing in front of me right now looking clueless and dumbfounded,” He closes his mouth, embarrassed. “The one that doesn’t remember our past but was willing to follow me around the city making new memories anyway. Who you are right now is more than enough for me. So please, let me choose you. I’ve already made my decision, it’s up to you to accept it.”

Heart in your throat, you wait for him to say something, anything, but he stays silent. The longer the pause the more you worry, wondering what he’s thinking. Scratching his neck, he struggles to find the words, opening and closing his mouth as he fights an internal war. 

“I just- I need some time to think.” He finally speaks up, not meeting your eyes.

“What do you still need to think about? You either want me or you don’t, you accept my confession or not.” When he stays silent again your frustration reaches a fever pitch and you have to remove yourself from him before you say something you don’t mean. “You wanna know what I also know? That you’ve always been oblivious when it comes to me, so I’m just going to say this plainly for you: I love you and I can’t imagine living without you again. I don’t want Jaebeom, I only want you— so you get back to me once you figure out whatever is going through your head. I’ll wait for you, even if I have to wait forever. But I’m really hoping you don’t take forever because I really miss you.” Your voice breaks a little at the end of your sentence and you turn toward the door quickly, opening the sliding glass and making your escape before he can see the tears welling up in your eyes. You leave without saying anything to Taehyung and Jungkook, your scent wafting after you, filled with sorrow and despair. 

Jimin stands there, sucking on his lips and wondering if what he did was the right thing. He takes his time coming back into the house, finding his two best friends staring at him in anticipation. “How did it go?” Jungkook asks, looking back at him with doe eyes.

“Judging by the way she stormed out I’m guessing it didn’t go well.” Taehyung surmises, pausing the tv and turning his full attention to Jimin as he sits back down on the couch with his head in his hands. He explains the conversation/argument he just had with you and waits for his friends to respond.

“Jimin what the hell!” Jungkook is almost in tears for you, face getting hot from the second hand embarrassment he’s getting from the way you put yourself in such a vulnerable position for this imbecile. Jimin blinks at the anger the younger man is displaying on your behalf. “I should hit you for putting her through this.” 

Taehyung does the honors and slaps Jimin on the back of his head, not saying a word. 

“So let me get this straight. You disappear for three years, (Y/n) is miserable. You return and she’s happy. Then you ghost her because you think she’s chosen to be with another man, making both of you miserable. She breaks things off with the guy she was seeing to be with you, giving both of you the chance to be happy again, and you tell her you need to think about it? What else is there to think about, hyung? Do you not want to be with her?”

“It just feels selfish of me to want to get back with her. I’ve hurt her so deeply before by almost dying and I’m just really scared of hurting her again. And what if I’m not good enough for her anymore? What if I can’t love her the way she wants to be loved and I end up disappointing her? I can’t remember all the things I used to do, nor do I know her well enough now to know what she wants. Jaebeom seems like such a good guy and I can see her being happy with him, it only feels right to let her move on from me instead of selfishly trying to keep her for myself.”

“And you don’t think you’re hurting her by doing this?” Taehyung’s voice seems to get deeper as he finally speaks up, trying to control the volume of his voice. “You don’t think it was selfish to make the decision to stop talking to her on your own without consulting her first? I think it’s very arrogant of you to think you know what’s best for her without even considering how she feels.” His harsh words cut deep and cause Jimin’s eyes to sting. Taehyung has never been one to mince his words, unafraid to tell his friends when they are in the wrong. And Jimin can tell that you and both of his friends were— and still are— very close by the way they defend you in your absence.

“I’m with Tae on this one,” Jungkook says when Jimin looks in his direction. “All this time she’s been telling you how much she loves you and how much she missed you and you’re still saying this? She told you point blank that she doesn’t want to be with Jaebeom and that she wants you and you are completely disregarding her feelings by forcing her to be with him. Do you think it’s fair to her to have to lose you all over again? You didn’t see her while you were gone, you don’t know the suffering she went through without you, do you think she deserves to go back to that? (Y/n) is the sweetest, most caring, patient person any of us has ever met and here you are playing with her heart like a toy. She said she would wait for you, but I doubt she’ll wait forever. I wouldn’t if I was her. So you better figure out what you want before she moves on for real. Do you really want to see her with someone else?” Both of Taehyung and Jungkook’s words strike a cord in Jimin’s heart and he thinks about how utterly depressed you’ll be if he decides to leave you again. He thinks back to everything he’s heard from the people around him, how they all said you struggled alone and separated yourself from the world, how you said you had to claw your way up from the depths of hell to become a functioning human again after those 3 long years of misery. He can’t imaging causing you that level of hurt again, and he hadn’t even thought about that when he was spiraling. Plus, he doesn’t think he can stomach the thought of seeing you around town with someone else, hearing about how well you’re doing with another man through your mutual friends. 

“This insecurity about yourself that you’re feeling is completely unjustified. I know she loves you more than anything and I’ve seen you love her before. That’s why I’m confident that you’ll be able to make her happy, whether you remember your past or not.” Taehyung says, sounding more encouraging now after seeing Jimin’s change in demeanor. “Do you want the chance to love her again?”

Jimin swallows, thinking about how badly he’s missed you over the past few weeks and how he wants nothing more than to have you in his arms. Despite the fear he holds in his heart about not being able to live up to who you think he is, he still desperately wants you to be his. “Yes.” He chokes out, scared that he’s ruined things by not telling you this a few minutes ago. 

“Then if you have feelings for her the way you say you do, I suggest getting off your ass and chasing after her.” Jungkook concludes, pushing Jimin’s back and forcing him to stand from the couch. “Now!”

The sky is dark as it begins to drizzle. You find yourself jogging from your driveway and fumbling with your keys to get into your home before the sky opens up and starts raining buckets. As soon as you get inside you speed dial your friends, plopping down on your bed with a forearm covering your eyes. The entire ride home you managed to control your emotions by cranking up your music so high you couldn’t think, but now that you’re alone in silence, everything comes bubbling up to the surface.

Joy and Mina both answer your group FaceTime call, having been told about your plan to meet Jimin in person, and they expect you to be squealing in excitement, so when you stay silent on the other end for more than 2 seconds they know something is up. 

“Oh god, what happened?” Mina asks, looking at your ceiling as you place your phone on the bed. “Did he reject you? Because I swear if he did I’ll drive over there and kick his ass myself, just say the word.” Always the fighter, Mina would go to bat for you anytime you needed and you’ve always been thankful for that.

“No, he didn’t reject me.” You mumble, frowning at how weak your voice sounds. When you don’t elaborate, Joy finishes for you.

“But he didn’t necessarily accept your confession either, huh?” There’s empathy in her voice and it causes a cascade of tears to flow down your face, the dam breaking and destroying everything you’ve built. You try to cry as silently as possible, embarrassed for your friends to see you like this for some reason. They’ve seen you worse than this, seen you at your lowest and helped to drag you out of it, but this hurt feels different. You’re not mourning or grieving the loss of anything and you haven’t been flat out rejected so it almost feels like your pain isn’t justified. 

“He said he needed time to think.”

“What is there to think about? He either likes you back or not, it’s simple.” Mina scoffs, balling up her fist behind the camera.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n).” Joy drawls, frowning when you finally pick upon your phone and reveal your tear-stained face. “Do you need us to come over? We can bring alcohol and watch a movie or trashy reality tv until we get sleepy.” She offers, knowing exactly what you like.

“Yeah, I can bring some of that plum sake you liked last time and we can get fucked up and cry our eyes out singing love songs.” You want to crack a smile at the memory of you and Mina singing “Love” by Keisha Cole several years ago when she got her heart broken by a guy she was seeing. They were just friends with benefits and he apparently didn’t see her as anything more than that, so she was left completely shattered when she hinted that she had feelings for him and he broke things off with her shortly thereafter. You spent two days at her place, just the two of you, watching horror movies, ordering food, drinking, and scream singing heartbreak songs until her neighbors came banging on the door for you both to shut up. It made her feel slightly better to have that catharsis, but you aren’t sure that would fix you this time.

“I don’t know… I don’t really feel-“ You are cut off by the sound of your doorbell, followed by a few knocks. At first, you consider not answering it and letting whoever was at the door think that no one was home, but then you remember that your car is out front and it is possible that whoever it is saw you come him. Sighing deeply, you get up and trudge to your door, annoyed when a few more frantic knocks echo throughout your home. Wiping your eyes, you pause before opening the door, mentally preparing yourself to talk to a neighbor or solicitor or even a door-to-door salesperson, but what you don’t expect is to see Jimin standing there in the pouring rain, hair wet and sticking to his forehead, panting as if he was out of breath. You blink at him, instincts telling you to slam the door in his face. Sensing this, he puts his hand on the door beside your head, standing closer than you were prepared for. You stiffen up, but he doesn’t move an inch away from you. Water drips from the ends of his hair and you can’t help but remember the way he looks after a shower, your chest tightening as the visual of him alone is enough to steal your breath away despite your best efforts to be upset with him. 

“Wh-what are you doing here, Jimin?” You manage to stutter out, unable to make eye contact with him when he’s staring at you so intently. You hear a small gasp from your forgotten phone that is now dangling at your side, Joy and Mina sporting surprised looks not unlike yourself.

“Please, just hear me out.”He says, taking in how you glance up at him with innocent eyes, and it is then that he sees how red and puffy they are, sure signs that you had been crying. It breaks his heart and before he can stop himself he’s pulling you into a hug. 

It’s sudden and this is the most physical contact you’ve had with him up to this point, so he isn’t sure how you’ll react, especially after the heated conversation you had not even 30 minutes ago. You don’t say anything, but you haven’t pushed him away and locked him out of your home yet, so he takes that as his sign to continue.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry, I’ve been such an idiot.” He starts, and those words are music to your ears. Because yes, he has been a complete idiot, but you want to hear him say why. His arms drop from you and he takes a step back, hand reaching up to push back his hair. Rain continues to fall on him, soaking his clothes and dripping down his face, but he doesn’t seem to care as he forms his thoughts.

“Go on.” You prompt, letting him know that you’re willing to hear what he has to say. He visibly relaxes at this, genuine eyes meeting yours with an almost pleading stare.

“I know you probably hate me right now for not saying this sooner, and I’m nervous as hell to say it, but I drove all the way over here to tell you this so I’m just going to come out and say it.” He sounds like he’s trying to hype himself up, despite all of your feelings being out in the open for him. You brace yourself for what he’s about to say still, already feeling like crying because Jimin seems so sincere at this moment, reminding you of when he first confessed his feelings for you all those years ago. 

“What is it?” You ask quietly, praying that this is headed in the direction you’re hoping it is. He takes a deep breath.

“(Y/n). It hasn’t been that long since I’ve known you, but it’s been long enough for me to know that I don’t want to lose you. I feel so connected to you in this inexplicable way, like my soul knows you even if my brain doesn’t remember, and it’s made being without you hell. It felt like I was going through withdrawals when I wasn’t talking to you, but I couldn’t bring myself to face you when I thought you had chosen Jaebeom because I was scared you wouldn’t want me in your life anymore, even as a friend. And if we were just friends, I wasn’t sure if I could handle seeing you with someone else all the time, so I decided it would be easier to just let you go without knowing all the facts first or consulting with you to see what you wanted. I was just playing the hero, thinking it was so noble of me to let you go and be with someone else instead of listening to how you felt and letting you actually be happy. And I was ignoring my own heart that was telling me to go after you because I didn’t want to seem selfish by overshadowing your feelings with mine if what you wanted was to be with somebody else.”

The tears welling up in your eyes begin to fall and he reaches up to wipe them, wet thumb grazing your skin in the gentlest way possible that makes your heart do somersaults. 

“But now I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes and it’s okay to follow what I want. (Y/n), I know what I want now. I want to fall in love with you. I want the chance to be in love with you again.” A small sob escapes your throat and you cover your mouth with your hand, turning away from him as you are overcome with emotion. His hand slides down to the side of your neck, caressing it gently as you cry. “I can’t imagine my life now without you. You’ve been there ever since I came home; and even when i was being a dick, you checked in on me and asked if i was taking care of myself. I haven’t done anything to earn your love so far, but I promise that I’ll do everything in my power to make you as happy as possible, because that’s what you deserve. I’ll be your knight in shining armor if you need me to be, I’ll be your pillow and shoulder to cry on, and I’ll try my damndest to make sure to never make you cry sad tears because of me again.” You collect yourself enough to turn toward him, eyebrows arched sadly as the unstoppable tears continue to fall. Even though you’re crying, he still thinks you look absolutely stunning, the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and he doesn’t need his memory to know that. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. Both in the past and now. But I promise I’ll spend a lifetime making up for it. So please, will you give me the chance to love you again?” He pleads, trying to read the expression on your face. 

You take your time answering, ingesting his words and feelings as he stands there getting drenched by the wrath of the skies. If you’re trying to sweat him out it’s working because Jimin feels a knot of anxiety forming in his stomach the longer you take to answer. You’re still frowning, wiping your face and sniffing when you finally look back at him, almost looking more upset than before. For a spilt second he thinks you’re going to reject him. Tell him that you don’t actually want to be with him anymore because of everything he’s said and done up to this point. But then you crack a small smile, almost imperceptible, and his heart soars.

“Of course, Jimin.” Is all you say, and he breaks out into the widest smile you’ve seen from him in a very long time. The only other time you’ve seen him smile like this is when you said ‘yes’ to his proposal, but that seems so far away that it feels like it happened in another lifetime. In this life, however, Jimin is reaching out to pull your face to his before you can register what’s happening, pulling you into a kiss that makes fireworks go off in your brain. He holds you close to him, moving his mouth against yours, and it is the single best kiss you’ve ever had. It feels like you finally got your man back. Oh, how you’ve missed him. 

Cheering from your phone causes you to break the kiss, both of you startled by the noise. You bring the phone up to see Mina and Joy clapping and cheering as if they were watching a live show, causing you to laugh.

“Is that Mina and Joy?” Jimin asks, having heard about them from you, but not having met them yet recently.

“Yeah,” you chuckle, telling them to quiet down.

“Oh god, did they hear that whole thing?” You can see his cheeks turning red out of embarrassment, not expecting to have an audience.

“Unfortunately, yes.” You nod your head, watching the embarrassment grow on Jimin’s face.

“You should be saying “fortunately, yes” because I was 5 seconds away from going over to Taehyung’s house to beat your ass for making my girl cry.” Mina rolls her eyes, earning a disapproving shake of the head from you.

“Alright, well now that you’re in our good graces again I think it’s time for us to hang up and give you some privacy, right Mina?” Joy asks, though it’s less of a question and more of a command. Mina lets out an exaggerated sigh followed by an “I guess” and they both say goodbye to you and Jimin before your phone goes silent. 

“Speaking of privacy,” Jimin starts wiping water from his face. “Can I please come in now?” Not even noticing that he was still half outside of your doorway, back still getting soaked with rain, you gasp and pull him inside. The door closes behind the two of you and a warm feeling washes over him as you escort him to your bedroom to get him some dry clothes. It feels familiar and domestic, like he’s finally home again.

(A/N): Part 4 will contain smut!! But this concludes the main story. Thanks for reading!

[anonymous-dentist]

Quite frankly some of y’all are getting too parasocial again, especially with the ‘LGBTQSMP’ stuff. By y’all, I mean the fandom at large, but don’t think I haven’t seen some weird stuff on here too.

Last night on Quackity’s stream, one of the first donos called him a “fruit loop”. And like okay, whatever, that’s bad, but then I managed to find the dono’s twitter literally by accident going through my twitter feed and here’s their reason why they did it:

And that’s really fucking weird! You all see why this is weird, right? And all of the replies to the clip of the dono I found (where I found this person) were all in agreement that this was a funny and totally normal thing to do. But, as I’m sure everyone is aware, this is not, in fact, normal. It’s parasocial as fuck, and it’s weird at best and harassment at worst.

Donation etiquette posts are something that go around the fandom every couple of days, and for good reason. Some people are too goddamn parasocial. You don’t know these people, and they don’t know you. It’s like if you walk up to the cashier at McDonalds and call them a “fruit loop” because you saw her talking to another girl earlier. That’s fucked up. At best, it’s fucking weird to do. At worst, it’s outing/harassment. (Not that I think Quackity is queer or anything, that’s none of my business, and it’s not anyone else’s.)

I’ve seen some weird stuff on Twitter recently. Truthing, really, and that’s something parts of this fandom have struggled with for a really long time. But take this tweet by the same person as above as an example:

There’s a difference between jokes about “haha the qsmp is just a gay dating show and jaiden”, but some people are taking that way too literally. I’ve seen truthing on both the English side and Spanish side of the community recently, and you know that I’m not searching it out for the sake of drama because I don’t speak Spanish. I’ve seen multiple Spanish accounts on Twitter telling people to stop being weird in chat because it’s gotten to the point there that the mods are getting involved (I was watching Roier’s stream last night, and I’m pretty sure I saw this myself in chat.)

Jokes are fine. Fandom jokes are fine. But that’s where the jokes should stay- in the fandom. Yes, Quackity made a joke on day one stumbling over his words and “accidentally” calling everyone his boyfriends. Yes, the Spanish creators are a lot more chill with shipping content than the English ones. That doesn’t mean anything irl. Calling it the first bisexual smp is fine as a fandom joke, but people seem to be considering it truth when, as far as I’m aware, there’s only one actual bisexual on the server, and there’s, I believe, only two LGBTQ+ members. While the default shouldn’t be straight, it isn’t cool to just assume people’s identities, and especially not from what they do in minecraft roleplay. That’s called acting, not real life.

Truthing is dangerous. Anyone older than 16 probably remembers the way Markiplier and Jacksepticeye stopped interacting online entirely, and it’s because truthing and shipping actively damaged their friendship. Dan and Phil struggled with this, too, with them actually being gay but being unable to come out until years after they were popular because of all the truthing going on with them.

It’s dangerous! It’s weird as hell! Not everyone is dnf. Even if their boundaries don’t mention it specifically, it should be common sense not to openly speculate on a cc’s sexuality. It should be even more common sense not to call them a literal slur in their text-to-speech donos because you think it’s “telling the truth”. For a straight person, it’s just uncomfortable. For a queer person not out, it could be dangerous.

As a whole, the fandom has been behaving. We’re just under a week in as of today when I’m writing this, so I guess we’ll have to see what happens next. But please remember to be normal. These people aren’t your friends. You don’t know them. You barely even know their characters right now. So calm down and touch some grass before someone actually gets hurt.

[dangermousie]

Pre-Joseon Sageuks: a Biased and Incomplete List

So, as promised way earlier, a post on pre-Joseon sageuks that I’ve either watched or plan to watch so am aware of them. I am sure there are others but here is what I got. Obviously my takes on them are subjective blah blah blah.

Jumong - arguably the Daddy of all Traditional Sageuks, this one ran for over 80 episodes and had insane ratings. It follows the rise of the mythical founder of Gogureyo tho it takes fantastical elements of his story and changes them for historically plausible ones. It’s very long and very meaty and politics/battle heavy and has a large cast of complex characters (including pretty nifty women and a LGBTQ supporting OTP) but it is anchored by the incredible performance of Song Il Gook as the titular character as he slowly but believably grows from nothing to a hero if at the cost of losing his marriage.

The King of Tears Lee Bang Won - this is basically a half and half beast as (you can tell by the title), it’s set in the last days of Goryeo and early days of Joseon. The time period covered is the same as in My Country and Six Flying Dragons, but this is the most traditional take of them all, even more so than 6FD. Not a single pretty face in the cast (tho Joo Sang Wook is a mighty fine man, emphasis on “man”), this is for the real fans of traditional sageuks. I enjoyed it a lot but if you want to check out pre-Joseon sageuks but have mainly watched youth sageuk stuff before, you should probably start with another drama on this list.

The Great Seer - set in the reign of King Gongmin, the last proper king of Goryeo (his son King U is technically the very last but there are questions as to his status), this is for those of you who want to watch Ji Sang in a sageuk. It’s centered around seers but don’t expect mysticism, this knuckles down to politics.

Shin Don - hi there, another story set in the reign of King Gongmin! From the title, you can tel it centers heavily on the powerful monk who ruled for the King at one point. This has been on my to-watch list forever because this appears to devote a decent chunk of its time to Gongmin X Noguk and I am dying for a proper drama for those two. This is from 2005 so if you do watch, keep that in mind in terms of visuals etc. That cast is lit!

Bicheonmu - this is sort of cheating because it’s pretty much set in China but it involves Koreans so. It’s a drama take on the same story told in a pretty awesome movie. Tragic love, battles, young Joo Jin Moo etc. i am very fond of it. This said, find and watch the Chinese version, Korean one was shredded.

The Iron Empress/Empress Cheon Chu - set in Goryeo, this was another of women ruler centric dramas that had a mini popularity peak in late 00s/early 10s (a trend I wish continued.) it got overshadowed by Queen Seonduk but by all accounts is a solid drama. It’s on my list but I haven’t watched it yet.

The King’s Daughter, Soo Baek Hyang - by the writer of The Rebel and My Dearest. Have I got your attention? Another woman centric ruler tale set in Baekje. Yes, there is a love story. That cast is great, to boot. I have started and liked what I’ve seen but got sidetracked. Need to get back to it. Before you look at the ep number and faint seeing the number 108, keep in mind that the eps are half an hour long so it’s an equivalent of a normal 54 ep sageuk so if you can watch eg Empress Ki, you are good with this.

My Country: The New Age - Lee Bang Won but make it gay. OK, I kid, sort of (not really) but this is smart and passionate and heartbreaking. If you want a wide scope or lots of politics, probably not a take for you (Six Flying Dragons is RIGHT there), but if you want an intense, emotional tale, come right in!

Six Flying Dragons - to me, this is THE drama about Lee Bang Won. It’s smart and emotional, deals with politics and has heart. It has a large cast of characters I got invested in, OTPs that will blow your mind etc etc.

Faith/The Great Doctor - if you are a fan of old school shoujo like Red River, Basara or Fushigi Yuugi, this or Moon Lovers are your best bet on this list. A time traveling tale with other fantasy elements about a modern day plastic surgeon who ends up being kidnapped into Goryeo during the early days of King Gongmin’s (hi!) reign by a tormented, oath bound warrior played by Lee Min Ho at his hottest (and playing historical General Choi Young. Do RPS at your pleasure), this one is one of my all time favorites.

Seodonyo/Ballad of Seo Dong - I am actually currently watching this one tho I haven’t been posting about it. Set in both Baekje and Silla, this is an angsty love story with a side of politics. It’s filmed in 2005 and looks accordingly but if you don’t mind dated visuals, this is pretty great!

Emperor of the Sea - set in Silla and Tang, this was a huge hit and deservedly so. Our protag is a slave and gladiator and a great naval hero. This is grim and smart and epic. It’s from 2004 so once again, if dated visuals are no-go, skip, but if you want a great story and performances, this has your name on it.

The Kingdom of the Winds - an epic cursed prince narrative, our ML (Song Il Gook at his sexiest) rises from abandoned prince and slave and abused assassin to general, royal and king, sparing time for an angsty delicious love story with an enemy princess. This has serious sageuk bits AND the best shoujo tropes in the business, plus enough whump to keep anyone happy.

Gye Baek - Lee Seo Jin, another sageuk stalwart, stars as the title character in this tale of a Baekje commoner, war slave and general. This is grim but glorious.

Soldier/God of War - this is a traditional war-centric sageuk and grim as hell. Another slave to general tale.

King Geun Chu Go - this is on my watch list; it’s about a warrior king of Baekje. Haven’t seen it but heard good things.

Ja Myung Go - smart and unrelentingly tragic, featuring Jang Ryeo Won and Jung Kyung Ho as doomed lovers and Park Min Young in an evil role, this is great and has deeply flawed characters in the very definition of doomed by the narrative tale.

Arthdal Chronicles - this is obviously a fantasy but the tale of prophesied twins, magical priestess, wars and mysticism is clearly set in a pre-Joseon in terms of aesthetics world.

Alchemy of Souls - like Arthdal this is pure fantasy but also like Arthdal, a lot of its styling is pre-Joseon so on this list it goes.

Moon Lovers/Scarlet Heart Ryeo - ok I think if people have heard of only one drama on this very long list, it’s probably this one. Modern time traveling heroine ending up during the reign of Goryeo’s King Taejo, in the middle of his sons’ fight for the throne, having an epic but doomed romance with shoujo catnip tortured bad boy Lee Jun Ki.

Shine or Go Crazy - if you want a more historical take on Moon Lovers succession fight but still with plenty of hotness, angst and doomed romance, come right in. This baby stars Jang Hyuk, so you know it’s bound to be good. I actually started it and enjoyed it but got sidetracked. Need to get back to it. Fun fact: while Moon Lovers was hugely popular internationally, domestically Shine or Go Crazy (they aired around the same time), did much better.

The Legend/The First King’s Four Gods - for a long time this was my favorite kdrama of all time and is still probably in my top 10. Ignore the odd first episode, the rest is perfection. Expensive and wonderfully written, this was Bae Yong Joon’s last drama before he retired to rest on his pile of money (if you are young, you probably don’t remember what a big deal he was, bigger than all the Hallyu stars nowadays put together. He basically was singlehandedly supporting the kdrama industry at one point), but what a worthy way to go out. It’s an epic Goguryeo fantasy tale of a prophesied prince coming into his own, with such amazing characters and relationships and OTPs and battles and points about destiny versus free will. It is everything and I kinda want to rewatch now.

The Blade and The Petal/Sword and Flower - ostensibly a star-crossed Gogureyo love story, this really is more about politics. It’s a mixed bag. The visuals are insane but Uhm Tae Woong, while always solid in modern dramas, is out of place in a sageuk (in QSD Kim Nam Gil stole his thunder; there is nobody to do so here but that doesn’t help him.)

Queen Seon Duk - probably the most famous entrant into female power sageuks, this was a mad hit and centered on the titular character’s rise to power and fight for the same with her female nemesis Mishil. If you want love stories, angsty fighter Bidam propelled Kim Nam Gil to stardom as he stole the leading man mantle from Uhm Tae Woong.

Empress Ki - currently rewatching this. It’s set in the waning days of Goryeo but takes place mainly in Yuan. Still, the FL is Korean and a lot of the story revolves around one of her suitors’, a deposed Korean king, attempts to get his land back. As you can tell by my rabid posts, this is a great drama - politics, romance (I ship FL and the Yuan emperor like mad), murder, dysfunction and everything good.

Hwarang - it’s so brain dead it might as well be a brain-eating amoeba in drama form but it did give us both Park Hyung Sik and Park Seo Joon before they made it big in drama world. It’s terrible tho, stay away.

River where the Moon Rises - I have such a love/hate relationship with this drama - I loved the beginning, with our tormented assassin heroine slowly being warmed by the loyal rustic ML with his own trauma. And then Ji Soo’s bullying scandal happened and he was replaced by Na In Woo, aka the actor I like least from any country in all my close to two decades of watching dramas. I tried but I simply couldn’t and I am still mad. This said, if you don’t share my NIW allergy, it’s probably worth a watch.

The Great King’s Dream - if you liked QSD and can’t get enough of the period but want an even more traditional tale, you can do worse than this drama. I liked what I saw but this baby is 70 eps and lacks Bidam so I peaced out. Maybe I will get back to it sometime, but probably not.

Jeong Do Jeon - as you can tell by the title, centers on JDJ and the last days of Goryeo. Not really my bag (time period been done plenty in other dramas and I don’t have that much interest in JDJ) but supposed to be solid.

My Only Love Song - a short silly mess but still probably better than River (which tells the same story) because it doesn’t have NIW.

King Gwanggaeto the Great - 92 eps. I can’t!

The King Loves - delicious love triangle (that goes ALL ways), angst, prettiness, a side of bodyguard romance. What’s not to love in this Goryeo tale?

ETA: this post was so long that when I tried to tag every drama I mentioned, tumblr told me you hit the tag limit of 30 tags no more tags for you. Oh well, sorry dramas that ended up I tagged!

[warmsol]

im curious why elia allows kai to get away with disrespecting her relationship so much? i understand her assuming the best for people but his hatred for makoa and his constant ignoring of manners ((Like if they were alone koa was touching elia like he was Kai would lose his mind)) is conflicting meee not a hater i promise this drama is so juicy im just curious to know whats going thru her mind!!!

nooo you’re not a hater, i totally get what you’re saying! we are going to see what’s happening in her head once we move forward so i don’t want to reveal too much. but we can dive into it a bit!

it’s clearly evident elia has a difficult time with setting boundaries, especially if it involves someone she deeply cares about. she’s a people pleaser and extremely passive until she reaches a breaking point. (which has been her biggest downfall as we’ve seen in lune) that being said, off screen her and kai have had a platonic relationship that’s been pretty healthy and respectful. they’ve become close friends and have learned to avoid certain topics (makoa, lol) which has helped them maintain said friendship. aside from kai’s little jokes/digs about makoa here and there, which she shuts down, elia hasn’t experienced behavior that would make her angry. and i want to emphasize, makoa is aware of their friendship. while it can annoy him at times, he understands she cares for kai. he trusts elia, and he doesn’t view kai as competition anymore, more so a pest. (and obviously as of now he isn’t aware of what kai has said or done upon his arrival, so that is subject to change of course.)

now considering their friendship has been long distance, and is maintained via phone.. it’s been easier to avoid any awkward or uncomfortable encounters. they haven’t been around each other physically in a while. they haven’t learned what it’s like to be friends in a shared space. when they were around each other this much in the past, it was while they were romantic. so now, the lines between friends and ex lovers are feeling a bit blurred. being around elia, kai feels heavily drawn to her, the subtle touches feel reflexive and normal for him. as for elia, i’d say it’s a mix of, “oh.. why does this feel normal?” and “wait. what the fuck.” she hasn’t fully processed what is happening, or how to navigate it.

[kitramune]

Hello!

Fellow inukagger here *shakes your hand* I noticed your tags on an inuyasha video edit post where you stated inuyasha was seeing kagome during their almost first-kiss. I want to believe this soo badly, but I have actually made a post where I argue the opposite bc that’s (unfortunately) my interpretation.

I would genuinely love to hear why you think this as I’m more than happy to be convinced 🥺❤️ If you’ve posted about it before, apologies that I haven’t seen it; please kindly drop a link.

Thank you very much! (It’s all 🫶🏼 and interest in civil discussion, certainly not looking to start anything otherwise)

Sure thing! I think there's a lot of misconception firstly because Kagome herself says this. That he hates her for looking like Kikyou, but when he looked at her in that moment, it looked loving, so she herself put two and two together that he must still be seeing her as Kikyou, but therefore have been in love with Kikyou. Which is partially true in that we know he did have feelings for her back when she was alive. (I have my own InuKik-critical perception on this, but that's a whole other rant and probably not what you're asking.) But I think it's VERY important to keep in mind that Kagome is an Unreliable Narrator in her own story here, particularly where it comes to interpreting Inuyasha's feelings at times. This holds true for pretty much the entire story, but particularly early on, when she doesn't know him as well. First off, I'm going to fast-forward slightly to give examples of Inuyasha himself making it clear he does NOT see Kagome as Kikyou, to prove my point that he's not lying when he tells her so at the almost-kiss. Keep in mind a lot of these are only available in the source material and the anime DID cut them to fuel love triangle drama. The manga is the original intended canon, so that's what I'll be going with for this entire conversation.

(Let it be said that as far as Japanese subtleties are concerned, he is asking Kagome to date him, here.)

For the sake of argument, let's look back at this "very beginning" he mentions, and how long it took him to realize Kagome LOOKED a bit like Kikyou, but was not Kikyou:

Well that was quick. He does compare them a few times after this, but it's always about how different they are. (Usually to be rude, but let's face it, this is early Inuyasha.)

(I include this "comparison" just because he's RELIEVED here at Kagome NOT being Kikyou. It's the first explicit indication that he likes her for her and would be heartbroken if the girls got switched.)

(Then he proceeds to make it even more explicit, and even Kaede spells it out.)

He completely stops comparing them in any capacity after this, and the way he does it says to me that he sees and values them very differently IN SPITE of the slight physical resemblance, not BECAUSE they look alike.

"But Kit!" I hear you say, "These examples are meaningless because they are AFTER he tried to kiss her!" Well I disagree his feelings would have changed that drastically in the small amount of time given the context, but let's still look at all InuKag have been through at this point. I'll just do a montage of Inuyasha feeling pride or affection for Kagome in said arcs because I am self-indulgent like that, lol.

(My boy did not need to protect her, here. If she was gone, he'd be free of the beads and thus free to just take the Jewel. He did it purely out of valuing her life in some capacity.)

(Knowing her scent already? Lending her your only armor just so she won't get hurt? Why Inuyasha, that's not extremely intimate at all!)

(I find him saying her name significant not just because of differentiating her from Kikyou in his mind, but in that Inuyasha doesn't say ANYONE'S name unless they are important to him. Exceptions.)

("I refuse to get involved!" *Kagome's in trouble, immediately gets involved*)

(I love this arc overall SO MUCH cuz they not only have their first friendly pouty BFFs spat, but Inuyasha then immediately comes running to save her after smelling her blood THROUGH SPACE AND TIME, and is so desperate to be relied on cuz it makes him feel good to protect her and he's realizing that.)

(Lest we forget he had SOMETHING TO TELL HER right before threading their fingers extremely intimately.)

(Inu wasn't in this arc much but he WAS very worried and impressed with her.)

(I could honestly put the WHOLE spider head arc in here and gush about every detail of their character development, but we all know the highlight and I think Rumiko put it best in the Profiles Book that Inuyasha had never encountered or thought of anyone who would be saddened by his death before. I truly believe this is when he decided to open up and give his budding feelings for her a chance to bloom. And more importantly for this particular argument, decides NOT TO LIE to her again.)

And it's at this point we come to him trying to kiss her. It's true Inuyasha's emotions are slightly volatile from Kikyou being brought up. It's a definite sore spot, which even Kagome picks up on. Kagome asks point blank if he still sees her as Kikyou and hates her for it. To which he says she has it all wrong.

Considering her previous statement was if he HATES her, we can pretty easily infer that he's answering that directly, here. As in, no, he does not. Reading into context clues and what we see before and after this moment, I'd go so far as to say he's implying he LOVES her, here. Or at least is beginning to realize he likes her much more than as a friend. The last arc was huge for him, let's not forget that. He'd never ever been vulnerable like that with anyone: both in letting them know his night of weakness, and emotionally. All signs point to him having realized he's fallen for Kagome pretty hard and is ready to finally LET himself fall. (Though clearly Kagome's not quite ready herself, yet.) I'd argue that Kikyou's resurrection arc and the arcs following shortly after that I linked moments from earlier are there to just cement that he doesn't see her as Kikyou to any viewers who are still skeptical. In the manga anyway, we're never shown Inuyasha pining for Kikyou or wishing she was back to life. Quite the opposite, he only wishes her to rest in peace and reach Nirvana, which he has said to her more than once. The closest we get is this line right after the resurrection arc comes to an end and Kikyou's presumed dead from the cliff:

Which I personally interpret as him still being heartbroken, yes, but the fact he brings up the idea of falling for another woman tells me he's still mulling over how he has romantic feelings for Kagome, and his trauma regarding romance making him wonder if he should backpedal on that or give up his initial goal that was a symptom of his heartbreak in the first place. (As in, he immediately stole the Jewel after Kikyou betrayed him essentially to make the hurt go away as soon as possible. Also note this is AFTER the almost-kiss, right before Miroku makes his appearance.) So I have a pretty hard time believing that he suddenly decided to lie to Kagome right after his entire breakthrough night of vulnerability with her, and how that affected him. Also keep in mind that Kagome doesn't have concrete feelings for Inuyasha yet, so there is no jealousy or lack of confidence where Kikyou is concerned at the point of time in question. One could (shakily imo) argue that he might lie to protect her feelings later on, when he's worried about her becoming angry or jealous, but he has no such reason to lie, here. Therefore I believe he's being extremely genuine, and probably the most genuine he's been so far since he decided to abandon his previous lie about disliking her scent. I truly think he wanted to find out what kissing was like with this spitfire girl who'd run away with his heart already and made him feel and share things he'd never felt or shared with anyone. I hope this at least elaborated on why I see that scene the way I do! If you have questions or want me to discuss an aspect of it further, don't hesitate to hit up my inbox again! I'm happy to share my thoughts on the series and especially InuKag!

[stories-and-chaos]

Tarnished pt 3

[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved. Trying to stick with established lore but taking some liberties to make the drama work. Multiple headcanons from various sources I’ve come across included as suits the story. Starts roughly five years before Murder Family, I’m making assumptions about the timeline]

[18+ rating for language, sex, violence, alcohol consumption, abuse, and general Hellaverse-ness]

[Part 3/?? Word count 3826 Mostly SFW]

—————

His dreams were pleasant nonsense until they shifted to something prompted by memory in the early morning hours. A growling hiss, searing pain in his palm, his own childish voice repeating “don’t hurt him, don’t hurt him.”

“WHAT THE FAWK STOLAS!” A screech unrelated to the memory/dream jerked him awake. Blitzø was crouched over him on all fours, that growling hiss rumbling from his chest. It had deepened over the years but the sound must have been enough to trigger memories.

Stolas didn’t have time to think about that however. Stella, the vulture his father insisted he marry, was shrieking next to the bed. Blitzø was crouched over him protectively. The imp’s chivalrous actions were marred by the facts that he was still naked and that in order to face Stella, his crotch was right over Stolas’s beak. His dick flopped against Stolas’s face; if he’d had any sort of erection the prince would have taken him into mouth just to piss Stella off more. But Blitzø was flaccid and his genitals slapping facial feathers was more hilarious than anything.

“WHY THE FAWK IS THAT PEASANT IN OUR BED AGAIN?!” If his wife’s voice could be compared to music, it was an out of tune oboe played at full volume by an amateur DJ.

Blitzø’s tail whipped around. “Oh fuck off you dusty whore. You knew exactly what fucking night it was. Satan’s taint, you even had your personal Chucklefucks bring me in.” He shifted his posture to look her closer in the eye. Now he was straddling the prince’s chest, tail still flicking around Stolas’s head. “Thanks for that by the way bitch; they scratched up my hooves, motherfuckers.”

Stella loomed over the male demons. Blitzø flinched at her approach but stood his ground. “I couldn’t let you just saunter in here like you own the palace. Especially when you keep forgetting your place, you foul mouthed cock sucker.” She refused to put herself at eye level with any lower ranked demon. “And I know you being late results in some sort of punishment. Which apparently this excuse for a man is too weak to follow through on.” Her dark pink eyes glared at the two down her elegant beak. She looked the part of a distinguished prince’s wife, but five seconds in her company made that illusion fall apart.

Blitzø couldn’t help himself; he stuck his tongue out with a smirk. “What can I say, I’m verrrrrry good at apologizing to Master Stolas.” He ran his hands down his chest and thighs seductively. “You’d know if you ever unclenched your cloaca long enough to try.” He kept smirking, his forked tongue sticking out and flicking at Stella.

She squawked, her hair feathers rustling in anger. “How dare you, you little bastard.” She raised a manicured claw to back hand the imp. Before she could swing, Stolas grabbed her wrist. He squeezed with just enough pressure to keep her attention.

“Firstly Stella, this is my bed in my chambers. You and I haven’t shared a room since Octavia hatched.” He matched her glare, the frustration over his marriage boiling up in a rare show of anger. “Secondly, Blitzø is bound to me and has been since before you and I ever met. So you, my bitch of a wife, have no say in what happens between us.” She opened her beak to interrupt but Stolas kept on. “And thirdly, if you ever attempt to harm Blitzø again, I will lock you out of the expense account.” This might have sounded like a weak threat but all three of them knew Stella cared more about her appearance and status than anything else in life.

“You wouldn’t dare.” She hissed and yanked her hand away. This year’s fashions had just debuted and Pentagram City’s elite party scene was just getting started for the year. If Stella showed up in last year’s gowns, all of the Goetia and Hell’s other notables would know she’d made some sort of mistake in her domestic life. Rumors would start. Any damage control she attempted would just fan the hellfire. She’d done the same to enough rivals to see that outcome. But Stolas didn’t back down. “Fine,” she turned dramatically, the layers of her gown fluttered against the floor. “But this isn’t over, imp fucker.”

Blitzø stretched and fell into the pillow nest after Stella slammed the door. “Shitbiscuits, I swear she gets crazier every day. Christ on a stick Stolas, you’re gonna have divorce her at some point here.” They’d both dealt with her abuse for years; Stolas’s threat would only keep her at bay until the end of this year’s party season.

Stolas lounged next to him, tail feathers swishing around as he thought. “I know Blitzy dear. I’m trying to hold out until Via reaches her majority. Then we don’t have to worry about custody or child support.” He lazily stroked Blitzø on the back. His talons stuttered slightly over a patch of white scarring, a reminder of a time Stella had been alone with Blitzø. “But I don’t know if we can wait that long.”

Blitzø could tell what part of his skin Stolas had come across. It had been nearly twelve years since Stella and her brother cornered him alone. Octavia was still in the egg and Stolas had a meeting with one of the Sins that day. He shuddered at the remembered pain. “I’d hate to think of what she’d do to Via if she had any custody.”

The imp loved the gangly owlette as much as Stolas did. He’d known her for her whole life. From a crowned egg (he still thought the Goetia’s egg portraits were ridiculous) to a fresh hatchling (Blitzø compared her to an angry peeled potato) to a downy ball of excitement (the cutest fucking stage in his opinion) to the clumsy molting preteen she currently was. The idea of Stella treating his Puffball like she did him was terrifying.

“Sir?” A voice piped up from the door to his room. “Is everything alright?” Right! Moxxie was here.

“Yeah, the bitch is gone for now.” Moxxie entered, fully dressed for the day in pressed trousers, a button down shirt and tailcoat jacket. Blitzø recognized the outfit from when some of the staff tried to push him into a more subservient role. Obviously it hadn’t worked. The clothes fit the other imp decently enough. “I’m just glad we didn’t have to deal with her last night, just her lapdogs.”

“I’m sure she’ll be out shopping as soon as possible today, just in case I do lock her out of the expense account.” Stolas put on his robe for a bit of modesty. “Good morning Moxxie. That out of tune alarm wrapped in feathers is my wife and mother of my child, Stella.” Blitzø snorted a laugh. He launched himself off the bed, not giving a shit about being on full display. “Darling, you should probably get dressed or I think our new friend will pass out.”

“Whaaaaaat, we’ve all got cocks here. I’m down to compare. I’ll fucking win too.”

“Yes but I doubt our guest is. Not to mention if Stella is about, Via may be coming by soon. She’s missed you as well after all.”

“Oh shit. Yeah, I don’t need Puffball seeing this. Be right back.” He grabbed the clothes he stripped off the night before and popped into the other room.

“My apologies if Stella disturbed you. There’s no excuse for her behavior but I do lock the doors when Blitzy is here. Apparently I need to change the locks again.”

“Oh, uh, no I was already up your high- Stolas.” Moxxie corrected himself quickly. He’d actually had some fruit as a light breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen before he’d heard the wall shaking shriek. Considering how well sound proofed the palace seemed (he’d barely heard anything from Stolas’s room last night) he was sure it had been ear splitting in person.

Stolas glanced over at Blitzø’s room, as if debating something. “Might I have a moment of your time Moxxie? Blitzø will take a bit and I have something I’d like to ask you.”

“S-sure thing sir.” They took the same seats as last night and Stolas pinned him with that four eyed stare. Moxxie was certain this was how mortal rodents felt when trapped by a bird of prey.

“You’re connected to Greed’s mafia families, correct?” Flustered, Moxxie gaped at the demon prince. “I’m sure Blitzy didn’t pick up on it, but your surname caught my attention.” He lazily shrugged his shoulders and continued. “I have no intention to inform Blitzø, nor to prevent him from hiring you. I just prefer to have you and I on the same footing. Or as close as we can manage.” There was no avoiding that a prince of Hell had so much power over even the head of an imp mafia, much less a fledgling member like Moxxie, that being on the same footing was laughable.

He nodded nervously, claws reflexively clenching the chair cushion. “My father’s head of the family. I was inducted just over a year ago.”

“That does explain your prowess with firearms. I assume your presence here means you’re distancing yourself from the family.” A statement, not a question.

Moxxie knew what happened to demons that crossed his father. He knew what would happen if Crimson got his claws on him again after trying to leave. But no one from the family or their muscle had done anything for him when he was caught. “Yes sir, I am.”

The red pupil-less stare became less severe. “Very well then. You’ll be glad to know there are very few in the Pride Ring that will recognize your name as being part of Greed’s crime families. The vast majority of the Ring is filled with Sinners after all. I’ll let you and Blitzy discuss your employment.” He paused, realizing something. “Or if you decide being involved with the Goetia family is too much, we can attempt to find you an alternative solution. It’s the least I can do in thanks.”

That was more than Moxxie could have hoped for. “Thank you sir.” The imp decided to press his luck. Stolas seemed open to talk at the moment. “Stolas, sir, what is this binding you mentioned between you and Blitzø? I thought the Ars Goetia were all powerful.”

“Is that what the rest of Hell thinks of us? Good to know the illusion of omnipotence is working. Sadly however, we do have limitations.” His gaze turned to the not quite hidden door. “When we were very young, before I even started my studies in the arcane, my father King Paimon used my own blood and sigil to bind Blitzø to my will. ‘To teach me a lesson in status and the dignity of the Goetia,’ he claimed.”

Stolas sighed dramatically. “Nothing I’ve learned has been able to break the binding. The only thing that might do so is my death…but that would likely cause his as well.” He glanced at Moxxie. “Please don’t tell Blitzy. It’s something I’d rather he not concern himself about.”

“Of course sir.” Secrets for secrets it seemed.

The owl prince continued. “In lieu of breaking the bond, we’ve done our best to test and bend it. At first Blitzy had to be within thirty feet of my person or my grimoire. As my power has grown, he can now traverse all seven rings with my permission and even the mortal realm. But he cannot be away forever. We’ve concluded his presence on the estate for a day every lunar cycle satisfies the conditions of his binding.”

“Who’s talking about me out here?” Blitzø emerged dressed in a long dark suit coat accented in red. A frilled high collar covered the gold sigil around his throat. Black and yellow bracers covered his forearms. The clothes were well fitted; not tailored to perfection but not something snagged from dozens like it off a department store rack.

“Moxxie inquired as to the specifics of the binding spell on you.”

“You mean besides the fact that it sucks ass?” Blitzø checked his reflection in a wall mounted mirror and adjusted his shirt collar slightly. “Whatever, I’m fucking hungry. Yelling at the feather duster worked up my appetite.”

“We’d best accompany him, else he’ll likely end up eating Fizz-Os with water,” Stolas remarked dryly. “Hey it works and I don’t burn the building down.” Blitzø opened the door with a flourish to let everyone out.

“It’s vile and I refuse to let it happen again if I can help it. I believe pancakes and eggs are in order.” Stolas led the way to a well stocked kitchen with a breakfast nook overseeing one of the gardens. Moxxie was just offering to help cook when a high pitched voice yelled “BLIIIIITZYYY!” At least this one was cheerful.

Blitzø braced himself as a fluffy weight landed on his back. He quickly supported the two long legs that stuck out under his arms as downy feathers fluttered around his head. “Oof, where’d these tent poles come from?” He waggled one of the young bird’s legs. “Stolas, you sure there isn’t some flamingo in your family?”

“Noooo!” The adolescent demon kicked her legs with a giggle before standing up to give Blitzø a proper hug. “You were gone so long this time, Blitzy. Dad was starting to freak out.”

“Sorry Puffball, I got held up in Greed. Made a new friend though; this is Moxxie, he might be working with me if we don’t scare him off.” He hugged the girl back, realizing his head didn’t reach as high as he expected. Octavia had hit a growth spurt evidently. “How’s the molt going?” She’d just started losing her baby down and was growing her juvenile plumage. She’d have another full molt in a few years when she reached adulthood. After that she’d go through partial molts to refresh her feathers about once a year.

“Absolutely awful! I’m so itchy!” Octavia was dressed in an oversized band shirt and loose fabric shorts so as not to rub the growing feathers. Normally she had a crown stitched beanie on as well but her scalp was too irritated for that.

Blitzø gently patted her arm. “I can help with that. Been helping Stolas whenever he molts since we were kids.” He stood on the window bench so he could reach her head once she was seated. Normally parents would help their fledgling avian demons, sometimes siblings. Paimon was the least attentive parent possible though. All of Stolas’ grooming had been handled by servants growing up, including his molts. Seeing his friend so uncomfortable, Blitzø had the servants teach him what to do.

So he had years of practice gently removing dead feather sheathes, giving delicate scratches and checking that the new feathers were coming in properly. Stolas could handle most of his body feathers at this point but his head and neck were hard to manage alone. Via had smaller isolated molts throughout childhood but this was her first full body one. Blitzø focused on her head, since that was likely the worst part. Her soft hooting sighs sounded just like her father’s when Blitzø did this for him.

Blitzø kept up his preening assistance; he had to be careful as feathers right next to each other could be at vastly different growth stages. Stolas and Moxxie meanwhile started on breakfast.

“Let me help you, Stolas, sir,” the imp pulled over a chair to reach the counter easier. “I can take care of the pancakes.”

Stolas blinked well…owlishly at him. “I should say you’re a guest and to allow me but assistance would be appreciated. Do you need a recipe?” Stolas placed ingredients on the counter. In consideration of Via’s molt and her increased nutritional needs at the moment, he decided to defrost some mice as well.

Moxxie started measuring and mixing. “No thank you sir, I’ve got it. Although if you’ve got some almond extract I’ve found it gives a refreshing flavor profile if you’re used to vanilla in the batter. Or perhaps some fresh ground cinnamon. If anyone prefers something sweeter I can add in blueberries or honey, I personally enjoy honey from Gluttony on mine.”

“Ooo! Can I have chocolate chips?” Octavia’s eyes popped open and she waved her hand to get their attention. The thought of personalized pancakes made her stomach growl in a very undignified way. Chocolate chips were more important than dignity at breakfast though.

“Make that two Moxxie!” Blitzø said from his perch behind Via. He was currently checking around the base of her neck. “If you jerks are gonna keep me away from Fizz-Os then I want some chocolate.”

Stolas set a bag of tiny chocolate chips next to Moxxie mixing bowl. “May as well indulge them.” Moxxie fired up the griddle section on the stovetop. “Coming right up Miss Octavia, sir.”

“Just Via,” the girl said through soft hoots. Blitzø’s attention really was helping her itching head. Her dad was helping her preen throughout the day but first thing in the morning was the worst. She let her eyes close, the comforting sounds of her dad and Moxxie prepping breakfast was accompanied by Blitzø’s unending chatter.

She’d never tell him, but his talking was basically like white noise for her at this point. It was comforting, similar to listening to the acid rainfall. Unfortunately the thunderclap that was her mother ruined the moment.

Stella strode in, wearing a gown only slightly less sumptuous than her evening wear. “As if seducing my husband isn’t bad enough,” she spat at Blitzø, “now you’re going to have your claws on my daughter?”

Via sighed. From a young age she’d known that her mother despised the imp that she’d come to think of as an uncle. Blitzø and her father had recently explained some of their complex relationship. Blitzø in particular was quick to reassure the girl that despite being forced to stay with the Goetia, he loved Via and her father. No mention of Stella however.

“Mum, I told him to help with my molt.” She’d learned that framing interactions with Blitzø as things she’d ordered seemed to mollify her mother. Stella huffed and waved her taloned hand dismissively, allowing them to continue. Via caught sight of Blitzø slowly flipping her mother off as she turned away.

Now she spotted Moxxie pouring the next batch of pancakes. “Another one Stolas?” She knew the current crop of imp servants (by sight, not by name obviously) and this wasn’t one she recognized. Like Blitzø he wasn’t dressed in a staff uniform, another giveaway. “Are you going to fuck this one too?” she sneered.

“Language! And no, of course not!” Stolas knew she didn’t have any respect for him, but it wasn’t like he went sleeping around with every demon that crossed his path. “He simply rendered some assistance to myself and Blitzø.”

“G-good morning ma’am,” Moxxie caught a glimpse of Stella before he remembered Blitzø’s warning about not making eye contact with “the overdressed bitch.” He quickly turned back to the griddle. He’d gotten the impression of pale height that rivaled Stolas’s, draped in layers of fashionable silk. Despite not looking directly at her, he knew this was how prey felt. The owl prince’s glare seemed almost gentle compared to the open hostility from Stella. Moxxie gulped, searching for some way to ease the tension. “Wo-would you like some breakfast ma’am?” Maybe he wouldn’t get chomped into pieces if she was distracted by food.

Another moment of her glaring. “Have it and a pot of coffee brought to the dining room.” She whirled back around, making sure her full skirt swirled with the proper flair. She clap her hands with glee, as if coming up with an amazing idea. “Octavia, poppet, do you want to go shopping with Mummy today?”

The owlette perked up. “Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult? Or Eclipsed Shore? There’s a new album by-“

“Pwah ha ha! Of course not dear, we won’t be going to plebeian shops like those. No we’re going dress shopping. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“Not really.” Even on good days going dress shopping with her mother was exhausting. It couldn’t be called clothes shopping since Stella only wore gowns and would only purchase dresses for her daughter as well. The thought of being a giant doll for a day, shoved into unfamiliar clothes, made her already itchy skin crawl. “Trying on a bunch of dresses is gonna make me loose even more feathers.”

“I suppose you have a point poppet. Another time then.” As quickly as she entered Stella swept out of the kitchen, not sparing any more attention on her husband or the imps. Used to this, Stolas simply buzzed for a servant. Once Stella’s portion was plated to her preferred level of elegance the small imp server left with the meal, a carafe of strong coffee and a bottle of coffee liqueur on a cart.

Moxxie and Stolas delivered stacks of pancakes with eggs (and defrosted mice for Via) to the table. Blitzø had already finished the mini preen so they’d just been chatting as they waited. Via and Blitzø’s identical looks of sparkling glee at the sight of their chocolatey breakfasts proved they had spent a lot of time together. Blitzø launched into his stack while Via ate in a more refined manner. Except for the mice. There was no refined way to swallow mice whole.

Sipping his own coffee Stolas asked, “Do you want to go out today sweetheart?” Yesterday she’d been too tired for much of anything. But if she was up for it, it could be a nice distraction from the molt.

“You and Blitzy won’t be too busy Dad?” She was used to them being inseparable the day after Blitzø got back.

“Nah, I really do gotta talk to Moxxie about a job. Haven’t seen Loonie Toonie yet either.” He’d been talking about the Hellhound girl since her recent adoption but Via hadn’t met her yet. “I’ll be back tonight or tomorrow though Puffball.” He’d normally ruffle her head feathers but that’d ruin all the grooming he’d just done.

“Besides, I want to just treat my little Starfire on occasion. We can go wherever you like. Make a day of it.”

“I’ll get dressed!” She popped out of her chair and rushed off to room, legs tangling a bit on her way out. “See you later Blitzy! Thanks for breakfast Moxxie, it was great!”

“I suppose I should dress as well; I doubt she’ll be long with how excited she is.” Stolas snagged a mouse left on Via’s plate and gulped it down. “Mm, delightful.” He stroked Blitzø’s head between his horns as he unfolded out of the seat. “Send a text when you’re heading back darling. Have a good day you two.”

A/N: Taking a few liberties with Octavia here as she’s much younger than in the show and not so jaded or angsty yet. Hopefully the wall of text isn’t too daunting, I’m trying to break things up in manageable sections.

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