#i haven’t been able to get them off my spotify top 5 for going on a decade

[boydykebarista]

red flag trait is having emotions and feelings about panic at the disco

[helliontherapscallion]

Going Mining (Adrenaline Junkie Part 2)

Part 1     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, OOC sbi

Word count: 2,582

It had been about a year since you told your family about your tendencies. Since then, you quickly became efficient in the art of redstone wiring. The precious dust became your saving grace in a way, it was because of it that you stopped skydiving. Of course, you missed the feeling you got when you got close to the ground going at mach speed, but they were just intrusive thoughts at this point; you didn’t make any move to fulfill your desire. Redstone wiring took your mind off from it.

Lately, you spent most of your time in the basement where you set up your workshop to craft most of your supplies and write out blueprints. You were working on finding out a way to somehow launch TNT to make igniting it safer. You figured out that you could use a dispenser to plant the TNT, repeaters to prolong the time the TNT gets placed, a button to press to initiate the whole process, and use redstone dust to connect everything together. Now you have a working TNT launcher, but you have to find a block to use as a wall to protect the user from the shockwave of the explosion. You found out the hard way that the shockwave is enough to knock you back a few feet and give you small burns.

You reached over for more iron to make another repeater, but your hand came up empty. You furrowed your brows as your hand patted around the chest before finally looking over to look more closely. The chest was completely empty. You groaned in frustration, you could’ve sworn that you had more iron to work with. Looks like you had to go mining again. Sighing as you checked your redstone dust supplies, you supposed that you could look for more of that too.

Prying your goggles off from your eyes and placing them on your crafting table, you checked the time. It was almost sunset, which means it’s close to dinner time. You walked up the stairs and to the kitchen, where Philza was cooking dinner.

Sitting down at the dinner table, you greeted him. “Hey Dad, what’s for dinner tonight?”

“Steak and baked potatoes. How’s the TNT launcher coming up?”

“It’s coming along. At this point, I just need to figure out what block I could use as a wall to block the shockwave and how many repeaters I need.”

You remembered earlier today when you got the unexpected knockback in your backyard where you were building the launcher. Philza got used to the constant explosions, so he wasn’t phased when the explosion was louder than usual. He just thought you were using more TNT than usual, so he just resumed chopping wood. Soon after the explosion, he heard a thud and a groan coming from you. When he glanced in your direction, he saw you laying in the grass a few feet from the launcher. He chided you for not being careful with how much TNT you used, but he was proud of you for being so innovative. After giving you a health potion for your burns you got, he told you that you were done building for the day.

He hummed thoughtfully as he flipped a steak. “Have you thought about using obsidian? It’s pretty durable and it could withstand quite a bit of damage.”

You slapped a hand to your forehead. Why didn’t you think about using obsidian? Most TNT technicians used obsidian to shield them.

“...No, no I haven’t. You don’t suppose that we have any laying around?”

“I’m sorry hun, but we don’t. I could go mining for some though.”

“No that’s fine, I was actually going to find a cave tomorrow to restock on iron and redstone. I’m running low.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll lend you my diamond pickaxe. The iron pickaxe you have won’t mine through obsidian. Dinner’s almost done, can you go get your brothers?”

“On it!”

You ran up the stairs, hearing the strumming of a guitar growing louder as you approached Wilbur’s room. Knocking loud enough for him to hear over the guitar, the strumming stopped and he called out a “come in”.

Opening the door, you smiled at him. “Hey Wil. Dad wanted me to tell you dinner’s almost ready. That new song sounds great by the way.”

He put his precious guitar back into its case on his bed as he turned around and returned your smile.

“Thanks (y/n). Tell him that I’ll be down in a moment.”

Nodding, you closed his door and went across the hall to Techno’s room. Before you could knock, the door swung open to reveal your oldest brother. 

“I heard you tell Wilbur dinner’s ready. I’ll see you there.”

You stepped aside to let him into the hall and started to walk to Tommy’s room. You swung open his door and chuckled lightly as he jumped.

“Hey gremlin. Dinner’s ready.”

“How come you knock on Wilbur’s and The Blade’s door but not mine? I could’ve been naked!”

“You do the same thing to me. Techno and Wil knock on my door, so I knock on theirs. Now, get down to the dining room before your food gets cold.”

He stood up to his full height and casually walked over to you. In the past year he has grown to be almost 8 inches taller than you and he didn’t show any signs of stopping any time soon. To your surprise, he shoved you to the side and sprinted out of his room.

“LAST ONE TO THE DINING ROOM HAS TO DO THE DISHES TONIGHT!”

“NOT FAIR, YOU GOT A HEAD START.”

You sprinted after him, but he was ahead of you by time you passed your other brother’s rooms. By the time you got to the top of the stairs, he was halfway down them. There was only one way you’d win. You hauled yourself over the railing of the stairs and jumped, extending your wings to slow your descent. You swiftly regained your footing and sprinted towards the kitchen with desperation. You weren’t going to do the dishes when it was Tommy’s turn; it was your night last night. You laughed in an early celebration when you neared the door to the dining room. There was no way Tommy could possibly-

You yelped as you felt your body being pulled back and a slight pain in your wings. Tommy must’ve grabbed your wings. Falling on your ass, you quickly reached to grab Tommy’s ankle to bring him down on the ground with you. He landed on his stomach with a thud as you pulled him back as hard as you could. You crawled towards the dining room door, only to feel Tommy grabbing your wings again to pull you back. Wincing as you felt some feathers being yanked out, you cursed your wings for growing to be almost larger than your body and easy to grab. You slid across the ground as Tommy pulled you back and tried to crawl into the dining room. You reached out with your other wing and started battering his head to disorient him. It worked as he stopped and you felt him trying to swat your wing away so he could see. Making haste, you crawled into the dining room.

“OI THAT’S NOT FAIR. YOU STARTED HITTING ME.”

“All’s fair in love and war, gremlin. Besides, you pulled my wings first, so you technically started it. I wasn’t about to do the dishes for you.”

“I don’t know why you are the one calling me gremlin, you’re short as hell.”

“Oi, 5’2 is average height! You all are just way too tall!”

Despite you and Tommy arguing, you both were giggling and smiling at each other. The rest of your family watched you two in amusement for a couple of minutes before Philza spoke up.

“Alright you two, dinner’s gonna get cold if you keep it up. Tommy, (y/n) won fair and square. You will also pick up the feathers you plucked out after dinner. (Y/n), don’t jump over the railing again. I understand that you can fly but still that’s dangerous.”

You both murmured “yes, Dad” before taking your seats at the table. As the dinner progressed, everyone had small side conversations about how their days were. Dinner went by faster than usual, probably because everyone was tired. 

Tommy grumbled to himself as he picked up the feathers on the ground. Taking pity on him, you picked up everyone’s dishes and took them to the kitchen sink and filled it up with soapy water for Tommy. You washed and dried them by time he got done picking up your feathers. He was an annoying little gremlin, but he was your little annoying gremlin. You loved your little brother.

“...Thanks for helping me. You didn’t have to do the dishes.”

“It’s not a problem, Tommy. You already had to pick up my feathers. Er, sorry for hitting you with my wings, that probably hurt.”

He chuckled, rubbing his head. “It kinda hurt, but I deserved it for pulling out your feathers.”

You moved your wing in front of you to examine it. Only a few secondary feathers were missing, it was probably mostly your semiplume feathers he pulled out. 

“You didn’t do too much damage, no worries. I’m going mining tomorrow, is there anything you need me to pick up?”

His eyes lit up. “If you find a diamond, give it to me. My jukebox broke today.”

“I gotchu. It’s getting pretty late, T. We should go to bed.”

You gestured for Tommy to follow as you started to walk back into the dining room and into the kitchen. You two made comfortable small talk as you walked back to your rooms for the night. After changing into your pajamas, you plopped onto your bed and buried yourself in your sheets. You struggled to cover your wings before giving up and leaving them to droop off the side of your bed. You really needed to ask Philza how he covered his wings, they were larger than yours so he probably had a little technique he uses. 

Having wings kinda sucked sometimes. Besides not being able to cover them with a blanket easily, they didn’t fit on your bed if you wanted to stretch them out to their full length. When you were younger, your wings always fit on your bed and you would always keep them covered. But now with your wingspan being longer than your height, they were a pain to manage, especially at night. You always had to either sleep on your stomach or side and you couldn’t roll over without pulling a muscle in your wing. Because of this, it usually took you a little longer than most to fall asleep.

Your blissful slumber was interrupted by the light peeking in through your curtains. Sitting up, you stretched out your wings, smiling in satisfaction when you heard them crack. You stood up and grabbed your clothes for the day. Since you usually woke up a little earlier than your brothers, you always got first dibs on the shower after Philza. You yawned tiredly as you flicked on the water faucet and stepped into the shower. Now slightly more awake, you stepped out and started to preen your wings. Another downside to having wings is how high maintenance they are. 

After taking care of the rest of your morning routine, you went down to the kitchen where Philza was sitting at the table drinking some coffee looking as dead inside as ever. 

“Mornin’ Dad.”

He grunted in response. He was never a morning person, even after adopting four kids. You walked over to the chest where the food is kept and pulled out some eggs, bread, and beef. Usually, you made breakfast while Philza made dinner. You hummed a small tune as you flipped the eggs and turned over the beef sausages. One by one, your brothers joined Philza at the table and waited while you cooked. 

You grabbed four plates and sets of silverware from the cabinets and put on an appropriate amount of food on each, placing them in front of your siblings and dad. You grabbed your own before joining them at the table. 

“So, I’m going mining today. Is there anything you guys want me to get?”

They all chimed in with their needs. Philza wanted you to grab more iron and diamonds, Techno wanted some gold, Wilbur didn’t ask for anything, and you already knew what Tommy wanted. It sounded easy enough.

While the boys wrapped up breakfast, you excused yourself from the table and went back to your room to grab your satchel, pocket watch, iron pickaxe, and iron sword. Walking back downstairs, Philza gave you the supplies you would need today: a diamond pickaxe and a plethora of torches. “No staying out past sunset. Don’t mine down. Stay aware of your surroundings. If you see a mob, do not try to fight it, just try to run. If you get hurt, come straight home. If you get lost, follow the torches.”

“You worry about us too much.”

He sighed as he pulled you into a hug. “I just want you to be safe, hun.”

You smiled as you hugged him back and wrapped your wings around him. “I know, Dad. I’ll be safe, promise.” 

“You better, or else you’re grounded,” he joked.

You chuckled as you pulled away and said goodbye to your brothers for the day. Heading out into the brisk morning, you took in a deep breath and smiled to yourself. You had a feeling that this mining trip was going to be bountiful. You spread your wings and took off into the sky. 

Flying for a while, you spotted an opening in the ground. Grinning, you gradually landed before walking into the cave.

You spent hours mining precious ores, working your way deeper and deeper into the cave. You still had at least five hours before you had to start heading back to the house, so you thought going deeper wasn’t going to hurt anybody. 

You hummed to yourself as you passed multiple stalagmites. This cave was seemingly never ending, you’d have to mark it on your map so you could come back to it. The mouth of the cave kept getting larger and larger until it melded into a huge, winding cavern. You’ve never been this deep before, so you were excited to explore. Being mindful of placing down torches, you explored the cavern before you came across a strange looking block you’ve never seen before.

It glowed a luminescent green as weird looking projections (tentacles maybe? Was this thing alive?) flailed about before they fell into a relaxed movement and stopped glowing. Reaching out to poke it, you cringed as it felt weirdly moist and it made a slight squelching noise. It flailed about again as it glowed. You saw movement in the corner of your eye and turned to see another one of the blocks doing the same thing. How weird. 

Suddenly, the nearby lights started to flicker on and off, even your torches, as you heard a rhythmic thudding sound bounce off the walls of the cave. The thudding got louder and louder gradually as you frantically looked around for whatever it was and pulled out your sword. Hearing movement from behind you, you turned around only to freeze in fear. 

What the fuck was that?

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey by joybucket Facebook's "Did You Know" questions (2/5)

If I could choose what decade I was born in, I'd choose... I’d say 90s, but I mean I was born a little more than halfway through 1989 so I grew up in the 90s.

The first thing I'd do after winning the lottery is... I’d have to pay off my debt first and foremost.

The videos that always make me laugh are... I don’t really have one that always makes me laugh.

A trend I really love is... I don’t even know what’s trendy anymore.

One of my most original costumes was... I was a zombie Alice (the character from Alice in Wonderland) one year, ha.

Between sunrises and sunsets, I prefer.... Sunsets.

If for one day I could be invisible or fly, I'd choose to... Fly.

My perfect pizza looks like... Extra sauce, extra cheese (feta, mozzarella, and ricotta), extra spinach, garlic, crumbled meatballs, and pesto drizzle on top.

I wish I had hair like... Someone with nice, long, healthy hair.

If I could be feared by all or loved by all, I'd choose to be... I definitely don’t want to be feared by anyone, but I don’t feel the need to be loved by everyone either to be honest.

Once in my life, I'd like to cut my hair like... *shrug*

My feelings about coconut flavor are... I don’t like coconut flavor, but I love the scent.

One of my favorite writers is... One of many is Elle Gray.

My favorite mode of transportation is... Car.

One of my favorite singers is... Ariana Grande.

When I go to a new restaurant and have no idea what to order I... I always get chicken tenders.

What's a favorite hobby of yours? Reading, taking surveys, coloring.

I think a good source of therapy is... For me it’s spending time at the beach.

A friend who I can always be myself around is... --

A friend who always makes me laugh is... --

Something helpful to lose weight is... I’m not the one to ask about this. I’ve never needed to lose weight, but I have due to health related reasons and now I’m underweight. My weight loss certainly wasn’t intentional or done in a healthy way.

In the shower, I like to sing... Ha, I have a whole shower playlist on my Spotify.

The furthest I've ever traveled is... Georgia from California.

The best car I've ever owned is... I don’t drive, so I’ve never owned a car.

A party I had so much fun at was... Low-key get togethers with friends back in the day when I had friends and actually did stuff. 

A fear of mine is... Losing my loved ones.

My favorite season is... Fall and winter.

If you knew me well, you'd gift me... Something from Boxlunch.

Between movies and TV, which would you prefer? I enjoy both. Although, I do tend to binge watch TV shows more often than I watch movies for some reason. 

A new year's resolution I haven't been able to accomplish yet is... I don’t make resolutions.

The image that best reflects my personality is... I don’t know.

The toy I always wanted but never had was... I was very much into Barbies as a kid and had more than enough.

Between bikini and one-piece, I pick... None. I don’t wear bathing suits.

If a genie granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be... Good health.

Junior high or high school? Junior high.

It's not normal that... I find myself getting really sad often about missing my childhood and how I’ll never experience that ever again.

If I could travel back to the past, I... Wouldn’t ignore and neglect things that I did that lead to me where I am now with some health related things. I would take better care of myself.

I hate the smell of... Old food/garbage.

If I could travel to the future, I... I’d be scared, honestly.

The most original birthday cake I ever had was... When I was a kid our family friend’s brother was a cake decorator and made some really cool cakes. I had like a Barney one, a Barbie one, a Disney one of some kind... it was awesome.

Between shopping online or in store, I prefer... Majority of my shopping has been online the past few years and I enjoy it, but it is nice to venture out to the stores as well now and then.

What's a dream you would love to become real? I’m healthy and happy.

London is a perfect city for... I have no idea.

A great thing about traveling is... The sights, the food, and fun experiences. 

My first scare was... Hm. Not sure what my very first scare was.

Where were you when you had your first kiss? At my high school behind the drama department.

I met my best friend when... I was born.

I could spend hours and hours... At the beach.

I always get mistaken for... *shrug*

My favorite Chinese food is... Chow mein, pot stickers, egg rolls, crab rangoon, and chicken in foil.

[peachymarkeu]

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: NCT 127 x OC

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: Fluff, Angst & Suggestive

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: What is it like being an 18 year old girl that had just moved into her new apartment and then suddenly meeting the people she would consider to be her brothers while being away from her parents?

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 1: 𝓢𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓕𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓻

I woke up from my very long nap and searched for my phone. It was 4 in the afternoon and I haven't started to unpack my things. I sat in the corner of my bed contemplating whether I should let my laziness consume me and fix my things tomorrow morning or just do it right away. I decided to just get it done so that I wouldn't have to do anything tomorrow. I got up from the bed and started to unpack my things from my luggage. I turned on some music again just to hype me up while fixing my things.

Angel by NCT127 is now playing on Spotify

One by one, I started to place my dresses in hangers, folded my t-shirts so they were all neatly placed inside my closet. I also arranged my shoes inside the shoe cubbies and placed my other stuff orderly inside the drawers. It took me roughly an hour to finish everything since I haven’t moved in all of my stuff. My parents told me that they will be the one to bring my other stuff over on another day.

5:30 it said on the clock and I started to feel quite hungry. I went to the kitchen to search for something to cook or to eat. I opened the refrigerator and found nothing, opened the cabinets and saw nothing but cobwebs and dust.

‘Well that’s great.’ i thought to myself. Now I have no choice but to go out and buy food from the grocery store. I rolled my eyes and went to my bedroom to change into some decent clothes.

It was quite chilly outside so I decided to wear blue jeans and a white turtleneck. I put on some white Nike socks and my Nike Air-Force 1’s. I topped it all off with a big furry coat so that I’m sure I won’t be freezing while I was out. My hair was tied in a ponytail so that the wind wouldn’t blow my hair and make it all messy. 

I grabbed my keys and a hot pack and started to head out. I put on my earphones and started to listen to my playlist. Since it was rush hour, more people were seen on the streets. The sidewalks were illuminated by colorful lights from signs that are welcoming customers. To be honest, I kind of enjoyed being outside at this time. It gives me a very warm feeling seeing people around me in such a wonderful city. After a few crosses and blocks I reached the small grocery store. 

“Annyeonghaseyo! Welcome to SG27.” the sales lady greeted me as I entered the store. I gave her a small smile and a bow to acknowledge her greeting.

I went straight to the rack where they kept all of the shopping baskets and carts and decided to grab a cart so that I could fit all the things that I needed to buy. I then went through the aisle and bought food, toiletries and other household items that I needed for the apartment. While strolling through the food aisle an idea popped into my head.

‘Maybe I should give something to neighbors and befriend them?’ I said in my mind and proceeded to call my Eomma and ask what ingredients I needed in order to make homemade kimchi.

Ring...Ring...Ring…

“Eomma!” I called out to her through the phone.

“Oh, wae Yuna-yah” she replied

“Eomma, what are the ingredients that I need to make homemade kimchi? I wanted to make some and give them to my neighbors.” I asked her

“Aigoo my daughter is so sweet. Listen carefully and list down everything that I will say ok?” she then listed down every ingredient that I needed.

“...and chilli powder, that’s all you need. You remember how to make it right? You used to help me whenever I made them for my coworkers.” she said to me which made me remember all the time I would help her in the kitchen which made me smile.

“Nae Eomma don’t worry I got this” I replied.

“Ok finish up buying your things and head home already it's getting late.” my Eomma said.

“Mhm…” and I ended the call.

I continued buying everything that I needed and filled up my whole cart. I went to the sales lady near the exit of the grocery store and checked out the things that I bought.

“Cash or credit?” the sales lady asked.

I gave her my card and she processed the payment and gave me my shopping bags. They were pretty heavy but I managed to carry them back to my apartment complex. As I entered the building, I dropped the shopping bags near the couch in the lobby and stretched out my arms and legs. Exhaustion was really evident in my face which made me really embarrassed knowing how haggard I looked. A few seconds later a group of people wearing black bubble coats and facemasks entered. It creeped me out seeing these tall figures, with faces well covered as if they were trying to get away from murder or some crime. I didnt realize that I was staring until someone tapped my shoulder.

“Um... excuse me, are you going to sit down? If you are going to not please move, you are blocking the seats.” the fair woman told me.

“Oh-uh sorry” I apologized and grabbed my shopping bags and went to the elevator.

As I entered the elevator the scariest thing happened to me. One by one, the mysterious tall figures entered the elevator.

‘What the fuck, Holy Shit, this is not ok. I just moved here and now I'm going to die. What are they? A mafia? No.. No.. a cult? Please save me’ I was screaming in my mind while being pushed to the very corner of the elevator.

I wasn’t able to press my floor button but say that it was already pressed along with the 5th floor. I’m not even exaggerating, this might be the longest elevator ride I’ve ever been on. I couldn’t breathe for a second with all the anxiety that was crawling up my body. 

“5th floor” the lady elevator voice said. 

4 of them got off the elevator and before the doors closed the last person said something to the others.

“Rest well guys, we’ve got a long day tomorrow” 

‘Hold up that sounds really familiar. I know I’ve heard that voice somewhere’ i said in my mind.

We waited a few seconds again until we reached our floor. Once  the doors opened I was the first one to get out of the elevator and turned to the left. I told myself not to look back but I did anyway. I saw the 5 other tall figures go the same way I did. I quicken my pace, scared of why they were following me. I looked back again and they were still following me so I started to jog to my door. When I reached my door I searched for my keys in my pockets while they were getting closer and closer.

‘Come on, come on’ i thought to myself.

They were literally a few feet near me when I found my keys and opened my door. In a rush I started to throw the shopping bags into the apartment one by one. Easy to say that luck was not on my side because the very last bag ripped in the bottom and everything inside it was now on the floor. I spaced out for like 3 seconds then...

“Yah!” one of the tall figures shouted. He then went to where I was very quickly with their long legs.

I got so scared that I left the things on the floor and went straight inside of my apartment leaving my things on the floor. Before shutting the door I saw a glimpse of the tall figure's face.

‘Wait… Jaehyun Oppa…?’

BAAM! The door closed.

[cadecaptain]

The Post Everyone Has Been Waiting For: Cade’s Top 10 Albums of All Time

Honorable Mentions:

The Beastie Boys Paul’s Boutique (1989)

A few years ago this album would have definitely cracked my top 10, and it is still so solid. The production on this thing is out of this world, and if you ever have a day to kill, listening to this Spotify playlist that has all of the samples Paul’s Boutique holds is an adventure, and truly shows what a labor of love this album is. 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/59FdNgdN0lHFNdr3ZsTTPa

Best Song: High Plains Drifter

The Rolling Stones Exile on Main St. (1972) 

As a general rule of thumb, I don’t like long albums. Blame it on my short attention span, but it is hard for me to believe any album over 11-12 songs couldn’t have anything cut. This album is one I can easily have on repeat, despite its 18 song tracklist. Truly the best of the Stones. 

Best Song: Tumbling Dice

10. The Black Crowes The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion (1992)

Bringing 70′s rock back to the 90′s, this is one of the first albums I remember loving as a kid. It is the epitome of Dad Rock, and each song has the entire band firing on all cylinders. Chris Robinson’s vocals on each and every track gives me chills, as he wears his heart on his sleeve with an emotional and powerful delivery with each lyric. Every time I listen to this record I come away with a new favorite track. 

Best Song: Thorn in My Pride

9. Only Real Jerk at the End of the Line (2015) 

Every time I tell someone about this album I always say “This is what Ed Sheeran would sound like if he was actually good”. He has the British, fast speaking, break-up sound down to a science, with each track feeling like it was meticulously crafted both lyrically and production-wise. This album had such an impact on me in high school that it is hard not to have it higher. If Only Real dropped a new album, y’all wouldn’t hear from me for a few days. 

Best Song: Cadillac Girl 

8. Alvvays Self Titled (2014) 

So up until about a year and a half ago, I swore up and down that the newest Alvvays record, Antisocialities, was better than this one, their first, self-titled LP. I have been fully converted by my girlfriend (@peppermoths​) that this is the superior album. This album feels like a gloomy summer night in the best way possible, and has a diverse tracklist of songs that make me feel sad, happy, and like riding a bike.

Best Song: Next of Kin 

7. Billy Idol Rebel Yell (1983)

This is the album I have based my personality on this summer. This, to me, is the quintessential album of the 80′s, with every track feeling like it could be playing in the background of The Lost Boys. I love everything about it. Every time I listen to this album, I realize how similar it is to David Bowie’s Let’s Dance both in length and general 80′s feel. 

Best Song: Eyes Without a Face

6. Camp Lo Uptown Saturday Night (1997)

It is impossible to not have fun listening to this record. One of (if not THE) most slept on 90′s hip-hop albums. It is a shame there aren’t more 90′s Camp Lo projects, but at the same time, this album is so flawless to me that I would be worried it would make their image less cool. USN has every kind of song you need off a 90′s album, and it always makes me want to boogie. 

Best Song: Tied: Sparkle & Killin’ Em Softly 

5. Parliament Mothership Connection (1975)

What is there to say about any George Clinton project that doesn’t include: AHEAD OF ITS TIME. Mothership Connection is the epitome of this. I have always claimed that this is the album that got me out of my emo music phase, as my cousin played it for me once and I fell in love and ditched Fall Out Boy. This album is short but it doesn’t feel like it, and every song will make you get up out of your chair. (Also, if this was a list of best album covers of all time, this would probably be #1). 

Best Song: Handcuffs 

4. David Bowie Young Americans (1975)

I’ll die on the hill that this is objectively the best Bowie project. This album is stacked without a single skip, and is the perfect length at a meaty 8 songs. From beginning to end, Bowie is able to construct an album that is as diverse as it can get while still feeling the most consistent out of any of his albums. You can tell that Young Americans had a lot of work put into it, and it paid off. 

Best Song: Right 

3. Grapetooth Self Titled (2018)

Do you ever hear a song and think...wow...I wish I had wrote that? That’s how I feel with every track on the Grapetooth self titled. If you are a Twin Peaks fan, you should hear a familiar voice gracing the tracklist, and the iconic sound of Clay Frankel’s voice is put on full display on an album straight out of 1985. There isn’t a song on this LP that ever stops growing on you.

Best Song: Tied: Violent & Hangover Sq. 

2. Bruce Springsteen The Wild, The Innocent, & the E Street Shuffle (1973)

This is an album that requires about 10-20 listens to fully appreciate. The tracklist is short, at only 7 songs, but the average length of a song on Springsteen’s sophomore LP is around 6-7 minutes, so it is still about a 50 minute listen. I heard in a Bruce documentary that this album was considered a flop because of this exact reason; they couldn’t play these weird, long songs on the radio. However, I genuinely think this is Bruce at his finest, spinning a complex lyrical web that makes you feel like you are 17 and on the boardwalk. This was the album right before Born to Run, so it is often overshadowed, but don’t tell me listening to Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) doesn’t make you want to speed down the highway. Also, Bruce looks very sexy on the cover. 

Best Song: Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) 

1. The Sundays Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic (1990)

I don’t even know how to do this album justice with words. I have never found an album with as much lyrical depth, ear-worm, jangly, timeless instrumentals, and repeat value as this one. Everything that this album is is sold by lead singer Harriet Wheeler leaving nothing to be desired with a perfect vocal performance on every single track. I could listen to this album for a week straight and never get tired of it. I have pretty much done that all summer, and I’m still not sick of it. Please go listen to this album if you haven’t yet.

Best Song: I could not choose one if I tried. Literally all of them. 

[jebazzled]

SOOO the Drama: Making it Work with Tragic Backstories

Hi everyone, how are we doing? It’s been a while since my last unsolicited tutorial. Is everyone eating well? Is everyone drinking water? Dressing warmly if it’s cold wherever you live? 

Today we’ll be talking about tragic backstories, and how to use them rather than abuse them. 

This tutorial will mention a number of triggers, though not with great detail - more in the interest of providing context. 

Specific triggers mentioned: abandonment, verbal abuse, child neglect, car accident, transphobia, animal death, cheating, bullying, parental death

In the rp community we often joke about loving to put our characters through hell - about really running them ragged - making ourselves weepy. For a lot of us, writing Heavy Emotional Content is a lot more fun than fluff, or characters who are happy, fulfilled, and well-adjusted. I’m literally planning to kill off one of my characters in the next couple of weeks. I get it. 

But there’s also a fair amount of discourse in the rp community about what is pejoratively called “trauma porn.” It’s discourse that is warranted! Because while we love fictional drama, the truth is that sometimes...

well, sometimes it can be too much, can’t it? 

Here’s the thing about trauma: a tragic backstory does not a well-developed character make. Too often, too many of us lean on these traumatic histories as a crutch towards building a character, without meaningfully exploring that trauma with any depth. The truth is, in fiction, tragedy only builds character when when you do. And tragedy is far from the only way to create a nuanced character. 

In this tutorial, we will examine common approaches to character backstories, alternatives to tragedy-as-a-default, and figure out how to have your cake (the feels) and eat it too (with purpose.)

BUILD-A-BACKSTORY

In my experience, the most common approach to writing a freestyle application is writing a chronological history (you can read my app guides, including thots on alternative styles of freestyle, here). Ain’t nothing wrong with that! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! 

It’s an approach that makes sense, as it forces you to fill in the blanks to answer the question: why is my character Like That? And often, as writers, our first instinct is to provide the saddest answer possible.

“Why is Susie so clingy?” 

Her parents abandoned her at a fire station when she was an infant, and rather than being raised in foster care, she grew up at the fire station. But the entire company that raised her died while fighting a wildfire, and she is certain that any time anyone walks away from her, they will never come back. 

“Why is Brent such a misogynist?” 

His mother never wanted him and told him so every day of his youth. When he hit puberty, she stopped speaking to him entirely, and the day he turned eighteen, she changed the locks while he was at school. 

“Why is Lichen such a high-achieving go-getter?” 

Lichen was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning they break their legs, and every afternoon they break their arms. At night, they lie awake in agony until their heart attacks put them to sleep.

Feels like a lot, doesn’t it? I may have done a little exaggeration, but - not a lot, frankly. 

Especially if other characters on a site are loaded with tragic histories, it can be hard not to equate a certificate from the school of hard knocks with a Pulitzer. You want something juicy to write about, yes? And this is all so juicy! 

But here’s the rub: often, these histories will never come up again outside of an application, or will not be practically dev’d out beyond shock value. Susie will never be reminded of Frank, the fireman who taught her to ride a bike. Brent will focus his sexist comments on objectifying women’s bodies rather than degrading their personalities and motives, which were the issues with his mother. Someone who didn’t read Lichen’s app would have no clue that they have had a total horror show of a life. 

If you are writing a tragic backstory that doesn’t have a continual impact on your character, you are writing trauma porn, and it is doing nothing for your character. 

This doesn’t mean that your characters should be fully and constantly occupied with memories of their trauma - in fact, constant introspection is an easy way to stall threads (per my “why aren’t people writing with me?” guide here) - but it does mean that if your answer to the question, “why is my character Like That” is a compelling one, it is one that a reader should be able to answer even if they haven’t read your app, if they’ve read a few of your threads or other writing. 

This is a careful balance, of course, but think of your characters the way you think of yourself! For example: probably the most Potentially Dramatic thing about my personal life is that my older sister is developmentally disabled, and I am one of her legal guardians. When my parents die, I will inherit my older sister, and will uproot my life from wherever I am living at the time to move back to my hometown and make sure she is taken care of and happy. This is not something that I constantly think about, but it is difficult to know me for any meaningful length of time and not be aware that I have a developmentally disabled sister, as I mention her in passing, think about her when her favorite music comes up on Spotify, and tell people to donate to her favorite charity, Special Olympics. 

If I were writing an app of myself as a character and spent a good portion of the app untangling my relationship with my sister, and then never mentioned her in any of my thread posts, then is she really important to my character? Or was I flexing her for depth?

Do you see what I am getting at here? If it matters, it will come up more than once. If it only comes up once, and it’s in your app, you should think of something to explain your character’s personality and motivations that is perhas a little less loaded. 

BUT WITHOUT THE SADS, HOW DO?

The good news is: you absolutely do not need a tragic backstory to write a nuanced character! Again - think of your characters the way you think of yourself, or of other real people. While everyone has gone through heavy things in their lives from time to time, chances are that your life does not resemble that of a soap opera protagonist. And aren’t you a multifaceted person, full of depth and life? Aren’t you someone whose story is worth telling, even if it feels like your life is pretty ordinary? 

After all, it’s not the past that makes a character - it’s the present, their current voice, actions, and missteps. That is where you want the real juice to be, because that is the shit you’re writing! 

Some potential “everyday histories” for our above cast of characters:

“Why is Susie so clingy?”

In elementary and middle school, Susie was bullied on and off - a few weeks spent hanging out with the in-crowd, followed by a month as a social pariah. She could never understand why. When she moved to a different state for high school, she attached herself like a barnacle to the clique the Tulips, and has made it her goal not to let herself get shaken back to the outskirts this time. 

This isn’t as dramatic as Susie’s earlier backstory - in fact, it could apply to any number of people, being passed between friend groups for years on end. But again: your character doesn’t need a one-of-a-kind daytime talk show-worthy backstory to have a unique and compelling history and voice! 

“Why is Brent such a misogynist?”

Brent’s mother never wanted children, and made it pretty clear to him throughout his youth. His father, though, as always there for him - including when his mother walked out and never came back, after cheating on Mr. Brent’s Dad for years. From then on, Brent and his dad only had each other - and their bitterness towards the woman who wronged them.

This still gives you some family drama - unloving mother, and some adultery - but having Brent be raised by someone who has their own beef with women eliminates the shock value of locking your son out merely for being a boy. Also, this take acknowledges misogyny as a learned behavior.

“Why is Lichen such a high-achieving go-getter?”

When their parents divorced, Lichen only came out to their mother as nonbinary, and presents a fully different persona when they are with their father. Being in the top 5% of their high school class and being a national champion Lincoln-Douglas debater is the only thing Lichen and (deadname) have in common. 

I acknowledge that Lichen’s previous story was a meme. The above story could be made much more intense (for example, if Lichen’s father were a member of the Westboro Baptist Church and then Lichen’s supportive mother dies in a freak accident and Lichen, unable to hide their true identity, is imprisoned in their father’s basement until they pretend to have seen the error of their ways and identify as cis again) but the above gives plenty to chew on! 

While drama and trauma can be satisfying to write, there is plenty of drama to be found in the everyday. Building a well-rounded character is much less about what happened to them and much more about what they are doing, thinking, and feeling now. 

That said, 

TIPS & TRICKS FOR WRITING TRAGIQUE CHARACTERS

Don’t go overboard. If it is not going to come up ever again after the app: leave it out. 

Impact is about the character, not the reader. If it was important enough to leave in the app, it should have an identifiable impact on your character. The main purpose cannot have been to shock the reader. 

It’s not meaningful JUST because it happened. If someone can follow your character’s story for any extended amount of time and not realize that, say, your character’s mother died in a boating accident, then it isn’t actually important that your character’s mother died in a boating accident, and you should let her live. 

If ALL of your characters have a heavily dramatic backstory, ALL of your heavily dramatic backstories lose their meaning. Dramatic backstories are fun but they should not be a constant: they will begin to feel cheap and lazy. 

Your character does not need to dwell on their tragic backstory! While a character should acknowledge their history, a character does not need to realize that their backstory is meant to be tragic. For example, Sally might have been raised by her Aunt Agatha after her parents disappeared in a hot air balloon when she was a baby. Rather than being sad about her missing parents, Sally might think of them as total strangers and of Agatha as her sole parental figure - and her sadness might be for Agatha, who does miss Mr. and Ms. Pumpernickel. 

And that’s literally all she wrote! I hope you find this helpful when you’re writing your characters - tragic or otherwise - and developing their plotlines. The world is not made of trauma and fluff alone, friends. Go forth and contain multitudes!

[turnabout4what]

You used to be diagnosed with ADHD, but then got diagnosed with autism, right? Aside from needing a lot of time to recharge after social stuff, can I ask what kinds of things tipped you off as to the difference? My psychiatrist is looking at an ASD diagnosis for me after years of being labeled ADHD... and I don’t really know what to think. If this is too personal feel free to ignore it!

I’m still diagnosed with ADD, but I’m strongly suspected of having autism. I haven’t been able to pursue a diagnosis because of COVID, but I’ve been in therapy for both. Before I answer your question, I’m going to go over the overlap between ASD and ADD, because you can work on these things regardless of the diagnosis. It’s very stressful to not have a clear idea of what you’re “supposed” to be experiencing!

1.      RSD, or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Do you feel physical pain whenever a stranger on the internet implies you’re a bad person? You may have this common symptom of ASD and ADD.

2.      Difficulties with executive functioning. Lots of people have trouble motivating themselves to do things, but ADD and ASD make it even harder!

3.      Emotional regulation. You may become angry or anxious very easily, and you may be oversensitive. This often comes with impulsivity, especially in ADD.

4.      Hyperfocusing. Do you ever start cleaning your room and then find yourself unable to stop? This frequently is accompanied by forgetting to eat. Generally, this happens with things that you enjoy doing, but when I’m stressed, it often involves cleaning.

5.      Being prone to addiction. This can be drugs, or it can be video games or any number of things that give you a boost of dopamine. Additionally, you may get short-term obsessions. Watching a TV show may be incredibly stressful unless you can binge the entire thing in one weekend.

6.      Not being able to make and keep friends in elementary school. I was great at making friends, but I could never keep them. Combined with RSD, this was devastating.

7.      A lack of focus on work and school. Notably, if you also have anxiety, you may still be able to pull off good grades by using your anxiety to rein in your focus. I was once told by a psychiatrist who sat down with me for only ten minutes that kids with executive dysfunction couldn’t have a 4.0 GPA and that he didn’t believe I had trouble focusing. Two appointments later, he apologized and officially diagosed me with ADD. There’s a reason I don’t totally trust his diagnosis. I do find it interesting and relieving that your psychiatrist is looking at an ASD diagnosis; a lot of psychiatrists don’t consider that a possibility if you weren’t diagnosed in early childhood.

8.      Forgetting deadlines, leaving things you needed at home, and generally being an organizational disaster by neurotypical standards. My third grade teacher gave me the “tornado award” in front of the entire class to publicly shame me for how messy my desk was.

 Now, to answer your question, here are the things that stood out as being indicators of me having ASD:

1.      ASD runs in my family. My dad didn’t speak until the age of 6, and my younger brother was diagnosed as autistic when he was about two years old.

2.      I have a sensory disorder that frequently interferes with my everyday life. I’m the type who can’t be inside of a candle store for more than 10 minutes because the smells are too overwhelming. At homecoming and prom, I could be found as far away from the speakers as possible, wishing the evening would end and we could all go home. Interestingly, my issue isn’t with volume, but with how unfamiliar a sound is—I went to a TOP concert with intense earplugs in. For the opening band, I got so sick that I went to the bathroom and curled up in a ball with my hands over my ears. But when TOP started playing, I was able to take my earplugs out and I felt perfectly fine. Notably, I know every lyric to every TOP song on Spotify, and I’d never heard the opening band before.

3.      People who are AFAB and high intelligence frequently don’t show the standard signs of ASD due to how we’re socialized as infants. If you’ve ever stood in a mirror and practiced making facial expressions and hand gestures, it’s a sign you intellectually learned how to act neurotypical. Most people pick up on that intuitively.

4.      I only recently discovered that when someone asks, “How are you?” you’re supposed to ask them that question back. I always hated when people asked me that, since I was expected to say that I was doing well, so I never returned it. I didn’t realize that was rude. I still occasionally find things that are considered basic communication that I never realized.

5.      My dad was physically abused as a child whenever he showed symptoms of ASD, and unfortunately that meant my younger brother and I were verbally abused any time we stimmed, talked about our special interests, or reacted strongly to sensory stimuli. Because of this, I didn’t indulge my childhood special interest until I was well into college: insects. As soon as I started taking classes about insects, I occasionally scared classmates and even professors! I’m normally a soft and smiley person, but when I’m hyperfocused on something that really interests me, I fall into a certain state that my friends have described as “intense.”

6.      Stimulant ADD medications like Adderall and Vyvanse did not work for me. They made me more anxious and didn’t improve my focus well. You know what did work? Wellbutrin. My doctor actually just upped my Wellbutrin dose and I feel incredible

This was extremely long, but hopefully helpful! Note that all of the problems I’ve had with my ASD or ADD came from surrounding myself with people who never tried to understand me. Now I have friends who plan events with my sensory sensitivities in mind, who point out my mistakes without making me feel rejected, and who are excited to see me even when I���m 15 minutes late… again. Neither diagnosis means there’s something wrong with you. It just means people have to put in a little extra work to understand you, and I promise you’ll find people who know you’re worth that extra work.

Best wishes, anon!

[purplesurveys]

1195

survey by n0b0dysp3rf3ct

—:: Who ::—

... was the last person you saw face to face? I passed by my brother last night when I had to go to the kitchen to fill up my tumbler.

... was the last person you texted or messaged online? Angela; I was just asking her for the difference among A4/A5/A6 since I’m now planning to buy a binder and sleeves for my rapidly increasing collection of photocards and postcards. It really frustrates me that A4 is the biggest one and A6 the smallest :((((

... was the last person who asked you for a favour? Kata, my manager. She filed a half-day leave last Friday to get herself and her family vaccinated in her town, so she had sent me over a very long to-do list of deliverables that she asked me to fulfill while she was out. Eventually she ended up filing a whole-day leave since she felt feverish after being under the sun all day, and also possibly from side effects of the vaccine, so I ended up carrying the entire workload for the day. I like Kata and she’s a very easy person and superior to work with, so I honestly couldn’t complain about it.

... was the last person you lent something to? Ooh, I don’t remember. I don’t really lend people things.

... was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Andi was just sharing to me their worries about taking the LAE (scheduled for today) and how they’ll be okay if they don’t pass.

... is the tallest person you know? Jo is like 5′7″ and we all look like beans when standing next to her. One of my uncles is also very tall; around 5′10″ or 5′11″ if I’m not mistaken.

... the shortest person you know? I think Aya? That’s just a smart guess, though; I haven’t seen most of my friends in more than a year.

... your oldest (in years) friend? Mik is turning 28 this year. Sometimes I forget just how much older he is than me since we vibe really well together during the rare times we did get to hang out. I’m still bummed we never got that smoke break we wanted to have.

... is the oldest (in length of time) friend? Angela.

... is your youngest friend? Hannah was born in 2000. Peter was born in 2001 but we aren’t that close yet.

... is your newest friend? I haven’t made any new friends recently. Stan Twitter is lonelier than I thought it would be; everyone is already friends with everyone so it’s hard to break that space. Not to mention everyone is also grossly younger than I am – I keep seeing profiles with ‘2004′ on their bio :/ I should start making an effort to look for older ARMYs lol, I definitely feel like I’d have more fun that way.

... is your closest relative? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, my Kuya.

... was your favourite teacher? My music teacher from high school. I neeeeeever liked music as a subject and it was never a priority of mine, but she always kept our classes something for me to look forward with her advice and the way she was always able to make lessons interesting.

... was your least favourite teacher? Those who made it clear they didn’t like me, even though I didn’t do anything to deserve such hostility.

... did you spend the most time with when growing up? My siblings and cousins since we all lived together at one point.

... knows you the best? My two best friends.

... always beats you in games or sports? Andi would probably be able to beat me in any game. They just let me win because they know I can be a sore loser.

... who is the most creative of the people you know? My family is pretty artistic and I have a lot of talented relatives - my sister and my cousin Maggie paint and draw; my mom can make any kind of craft she wants, with her hnds; and one of my grand-aunts regularly does paintings. I think all of them are amazingly creative in their own way.

... is the funniest person you know? Probably Andi. Hans makes me crack up too.

... is the most organised that you know? My mom.

... that you know has travelled the most? My dad. Both our fridge doors are filled from top to bottom with magnets from places he’s travelled in due to his line of work. He’s toned down quite a bit in the last few years and has taken to staying within Asia, but back then his traveling history was super expansive – Germany, Jamaica, Italy, Belize, Aruba, Italy, France, Monaco, Denmark, Norway, the UK, US, Estonia, Portugal, etc.

... has always been there for you? Angela never left my side.

... has given you the most personal gift? I can’t possibly pick, my friends are pretty good at giving me gifts...like Andi getting me a Petals For Armor CD and a Punk shirt that hasn’t been produced in a while, and Angela giving me a personalized Friends mug because she knows I like my coffee and she knows I like Friends.

... has an annoying laugh? I don’t think anyone I know has an annoying laugh.

... never forgets a birthday? That would be me.

... do you live with? My parents, my two siblings, and our two dogs.

...,do you have the most in common with? I’m not so sure about this one, actually. I share bits of my personality with a lot of people - like me and Jo liking BTS, me and Andi liking wrestling, Blanch and I having similar personalities, me and Laurice being super meticulous when it comes to our work, etc. - but I haven’t met anyone who’s virtually a duplicate of mine when it comes to my traits and interests.

...is the sportiest person you know? I’m also not sure. Most people I know are into watching a bunch of sports, but none of them actually play.

...was your last missed call? It was an unknown number that I kept ignoring because THEY WOULDN’T TEXT WHO THEY WERE. If you have enough load credits to call me multiple times, then surely you can text me and introduce yourself first, and maybe then I can pick up the phone.

...did you last open your door for? My sister knocked last Friday because someone wanted to talk to me via landline. It was weird since no one calls via the phone anymore, but I have a gut feeling it was that ^ same person who had been trying to call me through my phone but never texted me. Eventually I learned it was one of the bloggers I’m talking to for work who just wanted to ask a few questions about our ongoing engagement.

... has your heart? Kim Taehyung. Expect the same answer for this type of question moving forward.

... has your respect? I gotta hand it to Tina for consistently doing well in her studies and excelling in every subject while doing photo and video editing for two orgs, working on her thesis, and being a board member in our mutual org, all while living alone. She does so well I wish I can tell her to give herself the occasional break to avoid burnout.

...do you share a special song with? I don’t think I have that with anyone.

...do you miss right now? Literally allllllll my friends.

...last made you angry? It’s been a while since I’ve directed my anger towards another person. When I get pissed off these days it’s usually over a situation that goes awry or out of my control.

...did you last buy a gift for? So this was not technically meant to be a gift, but what happened was I accidentally secured two orders of the same poster set, which was a part of this new BTS photobook coming out later this month, from two different shops. One of the shops merely posted an ‘interest check’ for the poster set so I signed up for it thinking it was harmless, but when they got back to me they already attached an invoice :/ I ended up having to pay for it just so things won’t get complicated between myself and the shop anymore; and I told Angela she can just keep the extra set I bought and that she can consider it a gift.

...did you celebrate your last birthday with? My family and technically my workmates since I didn’t file a leave that day. I also had food delivered to their house so I guess that can count as my ‘celebration’ with them.

...have you gone to a concert with? I went with Angela for my first Paramore show.

...can make you laugh? Anyone can tbh. It’s not very hard to make me laugh.

...has taught you how to do something? Nina taught me how to embroider and do basic needle/thread skills back when I was still getting into the hobby.

...has lost something of yours? I am almost certain my ex never kept the handwritten letters I used to write her. She never seemed to remember or bring up the things I wrote.

...has broke your heart? Gabie but I’m over it.

...has stood you up? Hasn’t happened to me before.

:: What ::

Is your favourite colour? Pastel pink.

Can you do that most your friends can’t? Type fast, apparently.

Is your birthday? April 21.

Colour eyes do you have? Dark brown/black.

Form of transport do you take to work/school? I work from home. But under normal circumstances I would drive my car.

Music do you like to listen to in the car? I connect my Spotify to the car’s Bluetooth and listen to whatever artist or playlist I’m into at the moment. The music I put on could also depend on my current mood for the day.

Languages can you speak? Filipino and English. I’ve also been able to pick up looooots of Korean phrases and expressions because of the amount of content I watch. I’m nowhere near fluent, of course, but I’m increasingly able to pick up what people say based off a few Korean words I’ll hear in a sentence.

Was the last thing you drank? Continued from idk. I finished off my glass of water from dinner.

Was the last thing you ate? My mom made pasta.

Time did you wake up this morning? Depends on how late I slept the night before and how tired I was, but it usually ranges between 5:45–7:30 AM.

Colour are your bedroom walls? They’re white.

Drink do you usually order when eating out? I never order drinks unless I’m at La Creperie, in which case I always get their San Gines hot chocolate; for everywhere else that isn’t a bar, I just get water.

Food can you cook well? ...I can’t cook.

Animals have you had for a pet? Dogs, rabbit, lovebirds, goldfish, and technically a cat but she was mostly Nina’s.

Are your initials? RC.

Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I’m still kind of stuck at home during the weekends :/ so I can’t do much, but I’m not complaining since I actually prefer staying in these days. Anyway, most recently I’ve taken to catching up on BTS content I’ve missed over the last 8 years, so I like watching shows they’ve done like Bon Voyage, Run BTS, etc.

Movie do you know line by line? Two for the Road, TITANIC, and probably most of White Chicks.

Band(s) have you seen in concert? Paramore, One Direction, a bunch of local bands.

Do you buy/get to treat yourself? It’s usually food - I like giving myself a feast every Friday night - but I’m putting that in the backseat for now as I’ve realigned my money to be spent on BTS merch. My big purchases are saved for the albums for now, but every now and then I’ll see a postcard or photocard I like and buy them. Once I complete the albums I’ll be moving on to the concert DVDs, then the special packages, then probably BT21 plushies. Needless to say I have a longggggg way to go haha.

Colours your phone cover? I have a clear case.

Part of the world would you love to visit? Another continent would be nice.

Question do you dislike being asked? Even though I know people mean well, I don’t like being asked “How are you?” but tbh it’s more of a me thing because I just never really know what to say.

Subject were you good at in school? History.

Careers do your parents have? They both work in the hospitality industry.

Brand of clothing do you buy most often? For clothes clothes I’m not really loyal to a particular brand; I buy from different brands and shops all the time. But for shoes, I like sticking to Nikes.

Chocolate bar is your favourite? Not a big fan of chocolate bars. I love Reese’s Cups, though.

TV show have you watched every series of? Friends, Perfect Strangers, Breaking Bad.

Radio station do you listen to the most? It’s a little hard to tell at this point considering I haven’t driven regularly in over a year. But back when I used to do it, I usually flipped among 93.1, 99.5, and 87.5.

Podcasts are you subscribed to? I’m not the biggest fan of podcasts. Find them a tad bit boring.

Is your favourite dessert? Macarons or cheesecake.

Can’t you do that most around you seem to? Ride a bike.

Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? Loyalty, thoughtfulness, honest, sensitive to my needs and those of others, and intelligent.

Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? ^ Pretty much the same thing.

Size pizza do you usually order? Family size usually.

Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I’ve been getting Japanese so many times recently. I rarely go outside sushi.

Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black and white, and colors that were in at one point like mustard yellow and pastel pink.

Toothpaste brand do you use? Colgate.

Sounds can you hear right now? My insanely loud aircon.

Is the weather like today? Like hell. I believe we’re reaching a heat index of over 50ºC every day now, so...that’s fun. It gets absolutely difficult to work in the afternoon when the temperature is at its most brutal, and its times like this I wish I got to work in the office so that there’s aircon and I could at least work comfortably :/

Are your plans for tomorrow? Just work and have tons of meetings, the usual.

:: Where ::

Do you keep your phone when not using it? I keep my phone near me even when I’m not using it since I could always get an important notification.

Were you born? Manila.

Do you go to unwind? Most days it would be the rooftop, but under normal circumstances I like staying at a coffee shop somewhere to escape life and my responsibilities for a short while.

Is your best friend right now? I believe they’re both at home since they have no reason to be out anyway.

Can you go nearby to have a good time? Personally, I would just go to the Starbucks near our village lol. If I’m feeling a bit more adventurous I’d head to Katip, which is prrrretty close by but not quite.

Is the nearest restaurant? We have a McDonald’s literally right beside the village. Then besides that is a Shakey’s, and right across that is a Burger King, then the aforementioned neaby Starbucks. Just makes me realize how urbanized my town has gotten in the last few years.

Is the nearest beach? If I had to guess, the nearest beaches would be in Batangas which is 2-3 hours away, but it really depends on how fast you can drive lol. I’m not too good with long car rides so in both times I’ve driven there I had always taken 4 hours.

Did you meet your closest friend? I met Angela in grade school, and I met Andi at a local rally in my university.

Did you go for your last vacation? Tagaytay, though it was a staycation more than anything else.

Is the nearest mall or superstore? It’s like a 3-minute drive away from the village.

Did you last get an injury? I have loadsssssss of new scratches and gashes all around my wrists from playing with Cooper.

Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? It’s a toss-up between Aids’ or Gian’s house. Gian would probably win since I never actually got to go inside Aids’ place, and his was the first house I’ve been to that was able to literally take my breath away. OH and Shaun’s house was pretty fucking swanky as well.

Do most the local kids play? I would have no idea since I’m neither a kid nor a parent.

Have you been with your family? This is a very vague question lol...what do you mean where have we been? We’ve been to different towns around the country and several countries together, if that’s what you’ve been asking.

Did you spend Christmas last year? We visited a couple of relatives, and we also spent it at home.

Did your parents grow up? My mom grew up within Metro Manila; my dad in a city a little outside of it.

Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? I’m barefoot at the moment and always am at home.

Would you like to go right now if you could? If life had still been normal I would probably be having after-work drinks at a bar near the office.

Do you miss the most from your childhood? I’m not sure how to answer this with where.

Is the best restaurant you know? I’m still searching for it.

Will you never go again as it was so bad? It’s not that it was bad, but I’d probably never dine at 8Cuts again because their burgers are not worth the hype and are very overpriced for their size.

:: When ::

...was your last vacation? My family’s last legit vacation was in August 2019; but we did have a quick escape to Tagaytay in January of this year.

...did you graduate? I officially ‘graduated’ from college in August, if you could even call it that.

...did you decide what career you wanted? Somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd year of college. That was when I decided I hated journalism and preferred PR, but since PR is under journalism’s umbrella there was no need for me to shift courses.

...did you have your first kiss? Continued. Like WHEN when or how old was I when? In any case, it was in January 2015 and I ws 16.

...did you learn how to swim? Idk, pretty early on. My parents liked taking us to water parks when we were younger, so we had a lot of exposure. I’m not sure if there was ever a time where something just clicked and I learned how to swim; I believe it had just come naturally.

...did you have your first relationship? By the end of 2014.

...did you meet your best friend? I met both of them in school, but at different points.

...do you feel the most at peace? Probably when I’m able to stay at the rooftop all alone.

...do you usually fall asleep? I’ve readjusted my body clock now (I used to want to be in bed by 9 or 10 PM, lmao) and I stay up until anywhere between 12-2 AM on weekdays.

...do you usually wake up? Ranges between 6-7:30 AM.

...did you last watch a movie? September.

...did you last go to a party? Around Februaryish, 2020.

...did you last cry? I can’t really recall. The last moment I can remember was crying over Life Goes On sometime last month, when I heard it for the first time. I’m just not sure if that’s accurate or when exactly in April that happened.

...did you laugh really hard? I always have a good laugh at least once a day.

...did you buy something pricey last? Idk what you would count as pricey but I bought the new BTS photobook set when it dropped back in April. Cost me around ₱3750. I wasn’t able to buy from the first press (it sold out in like 7 minutes lol) which included an exclusive poster set, so I had to look for a local shop that was already offering the poster set separately, and ended up shelling out another ₱2200 for it...which means all in all I spent around ₱5950 for it or roughly $125.

...did you have an argument last? Earlier this evening but I don’t want to get into it as it made me cry from sadness and frustration for the first time in months.

...did you last have a sick day? May last year.

...did you last recieve a hug? I have no idea. February, I think? when I hung out with my friends.

...when is your best friend’s birthday? July 22 or September 15, depends on which best friend.

...did you learn how to drive? I started getting lessons when I was 17, but I didn’t start feeling comfortable with it until I turned 18.

...did you last receive a surprise? Around a couple of weeks ago when my dad came home with Jollibee for us.

:: How ::

Many pets do you have? Two.

Many houses have you lived in? Three that I can remember, but I know my parents moved around a bit when I was a newborn.

Often do you shower? Every morning before my shift. I hate feeling sweaty and icky when I report for work.

Well can you cook? I can’t at all.

Many close friends do you have? I have two people I count as my absolute best friends, but I have a handful of close friends as well.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? One of each.

Often do you go swimming? I don’t swim much at all, really...I haven’t done it since 2019, so that should say enough. As relaxing as it is, I feel like the clean-up afterwards can be such a challenge lol. Like if you swim in a pool you have to rigorously wash the chlorine off of you; and if you swim in the sea you have to also be thorough about making sure you’ve removed all the sand from your body.

Many times have you texted today? I don’t think I texted today but I did spend my whole day on chat platforms.

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? I don’t have super particular preferences; I just like mine on the burnt side.

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? My coffee has to be sweet for me to enjoy it. I can take black coffee/Americano; I’ll just wince a lot with every sip. No tea for me thanks.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? With a lot of food.

Are you feeling today? A little frustrated because of an argument incident this evening. But I’m shaking it off and just focusing on the release of Butter tomorrow. My first BTS comeback!!!

Serious are you about your career goals? Very.

Many rooms are in your house? In total, 9.

Many bedrooms in your house? 4.

Did you do in your school exams? I was never consistent. I slacked off a looooooot in grade school; couldn’t give less of a shit about my classes then. I got a bit more hardworking in high school, but I still was a bit lax and I allowed myself to not put a lot of effort in subjects I didn’t care a lot for and that I know I would never have to use in real life, like chemistry or accounting, so there were exams I really excelled in and others that I would fail. It was only in college I started taking my studies incredibly seriously and I believe that showed in the grades I eventually got.

Close do you live to your parents? They’re like, five steps away.

Close do you live to your siblings? My sister’s literally in the room next to mine.

Sensitive to criticism are you? I know it’s something that can never be avoided, so I’m always open to hearing them, especially if it’s meant to help me. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it as it is being given.

Motivated to make changes are you? Depends on my mood and mindset. 

Creative are you (1-10): -0.5.

Hard working are you (1-10): Probably a 22 if I really put my head into a task.

Sporty are you (1-10): I dunno, maybe a 6? I do like playing table tennis, but I’m pretty meh at any other sport.

Musical are you (1-10): 0.

Do you prefer your eggs? Runny yolk; scrambled; or a really packed omelette.

Often do you go out to eat? Before the pandemic, I liked eating out 2-3 times a week.

Would your best friend describe you? Not sure, I never tried asking them this. I hope it’s all nice things, though.

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? Send me photos of V. Hahahaha

Often do you meet up with your friends? ...What do you think? D:

Important is religion to you? It is not a part of my life whatsoever.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? 15 or 16, I can’t really remember.

Old were you when you got your first pet? I was maybe 6.

Tech savvy are you? I know enough to survive my own, but I obviously can’t hack into other computers or things like that.

Do you show you appreciate those you care for? Buying them food.

Often do you cut your hair? I only take a trip to the salon once a year.

Often do you paint your nails? Never.

Many countries have you visited? Six.

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Just one.

:: Why ::

... did you choose your username? Because it was straightforward.

... did you take this survey? I like surveys made in categories, and this seemed interesting and varied enough.

... did you choose the career you did? I found that I enjoyed it MILES more than journalism.

...did you last leave the house? I had to go to a local LBC for a work errand.

...did you last give up on something? She wasn’t worth the effort anymore. She hadn’t been for a while, but it took me forever to realize.

...did you search the last thing you searched? I wanted to sing along to the song but it was in Japanese, so I had to look up its lyrics.

...would you give up on someone completely? Oof, I guess you can refer to one of the previous questions. ^

:: If...::

You could live in any country which would you choose? Canada.

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? I’m perfectly content with dogs.

You could be famous for something what would you like? Being known for a funny tweet would probably be enough lol. I have no desire to be famous.

You are sad, how do you combat it? I don’t really get sad anymore these days, so I can’t super remember the go-to tactics I depend on...I guess I like listening to sad songs and allowing myself to wallow in the sadness, because I know I have to accept and process my feelings first before I can be able to calm down.  

You can drive when did you learn? I learned shortly before I started college, when I was 18, because no one was going to be able to take me to university when the school year started.

You could have any job what would it be? Idk, I like the one I have now.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? Somewhere with a completely different feel and atmosphere, like Norway, Sweden, Finland...that part of Europe, basically.

You could eat anything right now what would it be? Samgak gimbap :/

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? It would be a book of essays or maybe a memoir.

You had a theme song what would it be? Idk I don’t really think about this.

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? Billie Eilish seems awesome and easy and fun to talk to.

You could act in any movie which would it be? No thanks.

You get married what venue would you like? Hotel.

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I have one name picked out for a girl but that’s it.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? Brutalist and minimalist, with large windows, cove lights, and a lot of white space.

You could go back in time what would you change? Break up with Gab earlier.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? Could’ve been better.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? When I would die and how, just so I can have peace of mind.

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money, because of course.

Meet anyone who no longer lives who’d you choose? My great-grandfather, mom’s side.

:: Can ::

... you ride a bike? No, never learned.

... you ski? I’ve never even seen snow, so no.

... you bake a cake? I can try but it will probably be very clumsily made as I don’t bake.

... you sing well? I wouldn’t say that. I like singing when I’m alone, but it doesn’t mean I’m any good.

... you do your own taxes? I’ve never tried haha so I guess not.

... you remain calm in a crisis? Depends on how serious it is.

... you do first aid? Let’s just say I wouldn’t volunteer if it comes down to it because I feel like I’d commit one fatal mistake that would make the situation graver. 

... remember your best friend’s family members’ names? Both of their families, yes.

... you fire a gun? I’ve never tried so I doubt it.

... your parents drive? Yep.

...your best friend dance well? They’re not ‘dancers’ per se but sure, they can bust out a move or two.

...you make people laugh easily? Not everyone, but sure.

...stand up for yourself? That’s what I’m trying to learn these days.

...you do a martial art? No.

:: Would ::

You like to learn a new language? That’s always a welcome opportunity.

Save the life of a stray animal? Absolutely.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? We have several ones come in the country every year so yeah, I can definitely say we’ve long been well-prepared for them.

Try a new cuisine? I do this as often as I can.

Risk your life for anyone? Yes.

You like to get back in touch with someone? No, I’m good now.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? Ina heartbeat.

You Know how to perform CPR? In relation to the first aid question, I wouldn’t volunteer myself in case I make a wrong move.

You likely win in a game of chess? I don’t even know how it works, so no.

You stop talking for a day for $100? Easily.

[jessisvibing]

for the obscure asks: ALL OF THEM!

Oh gosh okay

1. Fave way to dress

Glam. Like Steve summers, Sami yaffa, and mark slaughter all had a child

2. If I could change anything about myself

Probably either my stomach or my face but perhaps i would just like a new self esteem

3. What movie/game/etc helps me calm down

Rock n roll high school

4. What does your room smell like?

Depends if I wanna use the hot chocolate candle, the marshmallow whatever it is candle or the one that reminds me of Disney.

5. Do you like to organize?

Oh heck I have to be organized or it bothers me.

6. What kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one?

If we mean genre then perhaps 2000s Finnish rock. Or maybe 80s glam. But if we’re going for bands Poison and Pretty Boy Floyd never get old.

7. What song is your aesthetic?

MOONCHILD!!!

The song, the video, ALL OF IT!

8. What color do you think goes best with your personality?

Although my favorite color is green I’m usually associated with black or red.

I’ve been told if I was a color I was without a doubt the color black

9. Do you believe in auras?

Perhaps so.

10. What do you wish you hated but actually like?

Apulanta 😂

Well not really but it’s hard to explain them to people. I could probably name a few things but nothing comes to mind off the top of my head.

11. Vague about your crushes.

Well, he’s got the most beautiful eyes and voice and the warmest smile. I think he lives in France with his girlfriend so he’ll never like me but something about him just gives me a warm feeling. He has a message with his music and I just wish I could be like him. Is that too much to be vague?

This ones definitely been through a lot but I feel like I need to try and make a difference in his life. Frankie knows who he is cause I’ve told her this before but ever since I first discovered him I fell in love with him and most people don’t support that I like him but that’s okay. He’s funny to me and his music is comforting to me.

12. Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards?

It’s hard to pinpoint my emotions. Especially when I first meet people. Sometimes I just don’t know how I feel about one of my friends that I dated once. Do I love him or not? I’d like to know.

13. An Au or story I came up with.

I have a lot of crack stories about poison and Jekyll and Hyde I’ve yet to write. All I gotta say is cc’s insults give me life.

14. Do you like makeup?

I liked it better on me when my hair was long now I just don’t vibe with it but concealer has saved my life a few times. It’s just better on guys.

15. Do you prefer space or ocean?

Y’know it may come as a surprise but I’ve always kinda wanted to visit space. I absolutely love the stars and I’m kinda a space geek.

16. If I could pick any planet besides earth, where would I live?

I wanna say Uranus as a joke but on a serious note I think Venus or Mars would be neat.

17. What form of government do you like most?

Monarchy. It’s just easier than this american shit.

18. What animal would I keep as a pet?

Omg omg I always wanted a snow ermine🥰

19. What do you think the purpose of our universe is?

Well I’m a Christian so I could go deep into it but I’ll just leave it at that.

20. Do you believe in god(s)?

Yes if my last answer wasn’t obvious enough.

21. Is there a song you can’t handle listening to even tho I like it.

It was hard enough to get into this song but when I discovered why mark wrote it it’s hard not to cry when I hear it.

22. What ex do you miss most?

Well I wouldn’t quite say I miss any of them. I’m still best friends with my most recent. I feel like I haven’t found a great relationship yet. Sorry val babe.

23. Do you like soft fluffy rough or smooth blankets.

I have a fluffy one hanging on my bed frame haha.

24. What is your fave thing to learn about?

Hmm I love a lot of stuff, as much as finnish fascinates me I absolutely adore mythology.

25. What country’s history do you find most interesting?

I’ve been in too many American history classes to enjoy it anymore. The Finnish history is very neat to me.

26. What do you think about genderbent characters?

Heck I used to love them but now I’m neutral

Perhaps depends on the character.

27. What breakup was the hardest.

Oh none hit me very hard but my last boyfriend took it the worst I’d bet.

28. Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend?

Still with Val. I just don’t know how to feel.

29. What do you think about tumblr discourse?

Ugh I came here to get away from it but as long as it’s sporadical and not constant I can put up with it.

30. What instrument do you wish you could master?

I’d just like to pursue bass decently rn, we’ll talk about that later.

One day I’ll drum hot for teacher. I just needa buy a better drum set. I guess just being able to play both instruments decently would be a blessing.

31. How easy is it for you to be honest?

As easy as it is to lie.

I’m very honest and trustworthy but I could also be the exact opposite.

32. Do you have any strange interests?

Oh god okay so while y’all are over here obsessing over guys hands I can’t help but look at their stomach like omg I just wanna lay on it while my man tells me how much he loves me.

It’s not weird but I love Finnish accents. Just less common to hear someone say that rather than English.

Well I could go on and list a lot of stuff but then again

33. Do you have any strange fears?

Peter steele 🤣

Obviously a joke but anyways

34. What food do you binge when you’re lazy?

Fries usually but I could eat pasta or fish sticks or rice galore.

35. When you get angry how do you show it?

Usually through cursing a lot but when I’ve got the hots for someone I curse a lot too. I speak more violently when I’m mad though I probably won’t act as violent as I sound. Don’t be afraid.

However as much as I say it I will gladly break your nose and you’d better believe it so it better not come to that point.

36. Do you have any impulsive movements?

Eh idunno but when I get bored I’ll put my index finger on my nose (up to about my eye. So if my hand is on my nose you better spice up the topic.) oh I also play with my hair when I get bored.

And if I get anxious it’ll be obvious. I’ve also been told when I get scared I have a death grip so if you try and work up my nerves just expect your hand to be broken 😝

37. What do you listen to music on?

That depends. If I want 80s music I’ll go to amazon, if it’s not on Amazon or I want something specific from Spotify then I go to YouTube. If I don’t know what I want or I want Finnish music I’ll go to Spotify.

38. Are you left brained or right brained?

I don’t think I have a brain. As much as my mom wants to tell me I’m left I seem to be more right brained.

39. Earbuds or headphones?

Ugh earbuds. I don’t like headphones unless I’m using my Walkman. Headphones are so 2010s/elementary school 😂

40. Do you like light blankets or heavy?

Meh light. I just don’t get the thing about heavy blankets. Plus they’re frustrating to get settled in.

Yay that was super fun! Thank you!!

[radramblog]

5 RNG’d Songs

After being burned out yesterday I spent a lot of today relaxing and doing shit for myself because yknow its Sunday and all that and now it’s 10:55 PM 11:05 PM and I haven’t written shit so time to do that.

I’m gonna hit shuffle on my spotify Liked Songs 5 times and discuss what comes up. Linkin Park Pt.2 tomorrow.

(Remember when this was just a music blog? Good times.)

1. Robot Rock- Daft Punk (Human After All)

…fuck, I keep forgetting to take this off the list. Ok, this one’s a freebie, I’m not counting it for shit. I like Daft Punk a fair bit, and French house music in general if I’m honest, but Robot Rock is a repetitive mess that goes for 2 minutes longer than is justifiable. Its just the same line, over and over again, and it gets really obnoxious eventually. Human After All is far from their best work.

1.(again) Prequel to the Sequel- Between the Buried and Me (Colors)

Oh now we’re talking. Colors is an album that I spent a while hunting for on CD, being one of those really fun ones where everything blends together like one big song, such that on a first listen you aren’t going to be able to tell where the tracks begin and end (PttS’s ending is more obvious than most, but I digress). Prequel to the Sequel is the 6th of the 8 tracks on the album, clocking in at 8:37 making it the 4th longest song on the album. Prog Metal be like that.

Most of the track is the fun proggy metal stuff I love from albums like these, developing new lines and having moments that come out of nowhere but are extremely satisfying- those piano notes at ~4:50 are so fucking good. Shortly following this is one of the points on Colors where everything cuts back and we’re suddenly listening to a different genre- one of the previous tracks has a deadass hoedown breakdown and in Prequel’s case it’s a little polka-y accordian bit. Moments like this add levity and a breather from the otherwise intense onslaught of riffs and percussion the album gives, and are easy to appreciate as a result. Prequel follows it with what is in my opinion the best section of the album, where everything suddenly builds back up again as the vocals hit their most desperate note, crashing down into the most intense part of the song so far. It’s a really great time, and I think on its back Prequel manages to snatch the title of favourite song on the album for me from the former head, White Walls, the album’s closer.

2.       Powerless- Linkin Park (Living Things)

fuck off ill get to you soon enough

2. (again) Land of Confusion- Disturbed (Ten Thousand Fists)

Eh. It’s been a long time since I listened to this, actually, having entered my list as I went through some metal bands I’d heard of when I was a wee babo trying to find workout music. It took embarrassingly long for me to find out it was a cover, with the Genesis version being probably better. Genesis is just a better band than Disturbed, and I would be hard-pressed to call myself a fan of either.

Out of curiosity, I checked the top listened to songs on Spotify for Disturbed, and this doesn’t even make the top 5, which I didn’t expect to be honest. Also, how the hell is their Sound of Silence cover ahead of Down with the Sickness? One is their iconic song, one is an overdone piece of shit. Ah well, Stricken is better anyway.

(also the music video is the least subtle thing I have ever seen)

3. Serious- Stuck in the Sound (Billy Believe)

I mean, I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk about these guys, I guess. Stuck in the Sound is a French rock band (that sings in English) somewhat known for their really cool music videos- while Serious is mostly silly, the animated videos for Let’s Go and Alright are excellent, and Badroom’s is fucking hilarious.

Serious is probably my favourite song from the band’s 2019 album, Billy Believe, and is a loose, fun song with a friendly vibe. It’s a great example of the somewhat odd accent of the vocalist- I don’t know what part of France he’s from to be honest, but its not a bad thing- and while I’d argue it isn’t representative of the band as a whole it’s still a pretty great track. Despite it’s name, it is not very serious.

 4. Skyscraper- Touché Amore (Stage Four)

Well, I was thinking about doing a full runthrough of this album at some point, but sure, skip to the end why don’t we. Stage Four is an excellent, heartwrenching album about the band’s singer coming to terms with his mother’s death from cancer, told largely through a lot of brutal screamo vocals that aren’t probably as harsh as that sounds- it’s more frustrated than angry, you know. Skyscraper is the closer to the album, representing the passage away from the fourth stage (geddit) of grief and onto the final stage, acceptance. The screaming is replaced by almost spoken word verses, and a simple chorus sung by not the same bloke as the rest of it- save for an almost ethereal repetition of the lyrics at the song’s climax. The line (you lived there, under the lights) is such a simple thing, but its one of those wistful memories you get when dealing with loss, and the way that can make you feel is conveyed by the weight of these lyrics. I’ve been fortunate enough to have not had to deal with losing a direct family member like this yet, so I can’t possibly know what it’s like, but this song represents the point in that process that you hope to get to eventually.

One of the previous songs on the album (I think New Halloween?) ends with a line referring to a final voice message left from the singer’s late mother that he hasn’t had the courage to listen to. Fittingly, Skyscraper ends with this voicemail playing. It’s such a mundane little message, but it makes for a really meaningful little moment.

 5. Black Fingernails, Red Wine- Eskimo Joe (Black Fingernails, Red Wine)

Shoutout to that one time a mate of mine was like “Hey what’s that song called where the lyrics go black fingernails red wine?”. To be fair, I didn’t know the song at the time.

Eskimo Joe is one of the more popular bands out of Perth, so I’ve gotta give them some home team love, though they’ve been less prolific in the last decade as they were back in the 00s. BFRW, their 2006 album, is pretty clearly their most popular, and I’d argue the title track is the best song on the album. It’s this oddly melancholy little alt rock tune backed by some lovely percussion and piano lines. Unfortunately for this ramble its one of those tunes where I don’t have an awful lot to say about it, I just like it. Oops. Randomness has its drawbacks. I went to go watch the music video for the first time to have something else to talk about but it’s like, kinda boring? I like how it just cuts out at the end though.

[theshinsun]

A-Z for honesty hour because I'm an asshole. :D

A - If I’m in love.

...yes. I never thought I would be again, I thought I’d been too hurt and jaded to feel this way again, but against all odds, I’m back to being 17 in full force.

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.

The only one who ever calls me is my mother. And customers at work.

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.

damn, almost a year now… not since my last relationship ended back in October-ish. even then, it was mostly casual pecks idk if we ever seriously made out tbh.

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.

already answered (twice) but I'll keep going… I've got a definite preference of guys over girls, but I'm also a bi disaster and sometimes it doesn't make a lot of sense why this person is instantly attractive to me while that person isn't. certain aspects of femininity do appeal to me, but weirdly other aspects seem to be a turn-off and I can't always put my finger on what or why. ...that caveat does not apply to masculinity though, even if it's traditionally "masculine" features on a feminine-presenting individual I am 100% down every time.

E - How many holes I have in my ears.

two and a half? I got a third piercing at some point halfway up the lobe but it got infected and scarred over I think. the holes I do have are also stretched (I'm up to 0G now) and I've been meaning to get some more.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’

wasn't given any options, so I guess I'll go with hot or cold lol. I prefer hot, I'm one of those weirdos who loves summer because of the heat and I'll usually take a hot food/drink over a cold one.

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.

my mom, over the phone just now.

H - The last person I hugged.

my roommate. we're not always super touchy-feely with each other but I've been feeling kind of down and she noticed.

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

I'm not usually a very jealous person, but the last time I really felt that way… I'd recently broken up with my ex, and they were sitting on someone else's lap and I… felt things. part of the reason I realized I may have made a mistake.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

K - What my full name is

already answered, my first and middle are Jacob Brooks, I'm not putting my last name out there sorry I don't trust like that.

L - If I have siblings.

already answered, I've got two, an older brother and a younger sister.

M - If I forgive betrayal.

I mean, I forgive but I don't forget, ya know? like I'll accept an apology if it's sincere and welcome the person back and never bring it up again, but I'm probably gonna be cautious around them in the future, and not trust them as readily as I would have before.  

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

if I call someone my friend it means I really feel close with them, and I treat my friends basically like my family. I try to always be honest and supportive of them, bc I love and appreciate them and just want them to be happy. 

O - If I like my school.

I love my school. the campus is beautiful, the teachers are fantastic, and I just love being there and learning and growing in my classes. I'm really sad this semester is probably going to be mostly online because I really feel like I belong in those studios and on that campus and I miss it.

P - What kind of music I like.

already answered, and it mostly boiled down to all over the fuckin place, so this time… band recommendations, here we go. no you have no say in this.

here, have a clump of random favorite bands off the top of my head: mother mother, bad suns, nothing but thieves, hozier, shearwater, the neighbourhood, steam powered giraffe, rainbow kitten surprise, the oh hellos, gregory alan isakov, caravan palace, mystery skulls, khai dreams, autoheart, muse, silversun pickups, thousand foot krutch, two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, blue october, jukebox the ghost

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

I'm not a partier at All, but I did have a bunch of friends over for the 4th (okay I say a bunch but it was like four people from our usual less-socially distant circle). I have no idea when the next get-together will be, it's kinda hard to plan those kinds of things lately.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

the phrasing of this question is weird but I'm gonna assume it means things I'm curious about? let's go with that.

travel. I haven't ever been out of the country and I'd like to see other parts of the world at least at some point in my life.

tattoos. both getting them and learning to do them, it's a niche branch of art that I'm just fascinated by and I might like to do it as a career if I knew more about it.

same thing with being a florist. I'm really drawn to it as a concept and I'm super curious how it works, but I have no idea what kind of… qualifications and whatnot I'd need for that.

 surfing. I'm surrounded by the lifestyle and now kind of own a surfboard, I just want to know what the appeal is.

this may be a bit tmi, but I'm really curious what it's like to have a dick. I don't suppose I'll strictly ever know, but I still really want to… probably one of the biggest things to clue me in that I'm definitely trans is the literal penis envy ngl. 

I've always kind of had a fascination with the ocean, and I'd love to go like, scuba diving or something someday, to see it up close and personal.

I think everyone has the impulse thought of shaving their head at some point. maybe someday I will I don't quite have the balls to do it now.

I've gone this long in my life and never wielded a sword? a travesty. I don't pretend to have the grace to actually know how to use one, but I've like, never even held a real one and the idea interests me a lot.

this one might be slightly morbid curiosity, but I don't think I've ever been like, properly drunk or high before, like I've been tipsy but I've never been wasted, you know? the idea kind of scares me and I don't think I'm going to go out and remedy it, but it's still there, and even if I know it's not a good idea, I do still wonder what that's like.

same vein, maybe even a little darker, but I've got at least a little morbid curiosity about like, death and real danger. again, not planning to act on it At All, but the thought is still lurking in the back of my mind like what if…? you asked for honesty.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

S - 2 habits.

bit of a new habit, but I have a whole ritual of disinfecting groceries when I bring them home, and then disinfecting the door knobs and counters. I don't know if it'll persist after the pandemic is over, but it's already ingrained in me and I don't feel comfortable if I skip it or do  it differently.

I apologize for things that aren't my fault. it's such an instinct at this point to say "sorry" when I'm uncomfortable or anxious that it doesn't even register anymore, even when people tell me not to be sorry, I'm still gonna say it, sorry.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

already answered so here's 5 more

my family. if I haven't got my family I haven't got anything, we've got each others' backs and I won't turn on them for anything

my friends. same deal, I owe so much to my friends, I love them, and that won't change no matter what they decide to do or be.

sleep. I love sleep so much, even if it's just an involuntary nap, though for someone who loves it so much I sure don't get enough of it

spotify. I know it has problems, I know there are probably more streamlined/cheaper music streaming services out there, but at this point, I've sunk too much of my time and energy into this one and I'll never give it up

my ocs. I don't talk about them very much on this platform, but I have them, they're my children, and I love them even if they're assholes and never easy to write/draw. 

U - How many texts I send daily.

already answered, the number varies, and sometimes swings drastically between like, 5 and 35 on any given day.

V - 3 big dreams.

graduate art school. it's gonna be a serious undertaking and probably take several more years and a lot of loans at this point, but I'm still determined to get there someday.

someday I want to write a book. I know I've said that before on a different prompt, but it wouldn't be a list of dreams without including this one that I've held onto since childhood. 

this one's kind of vague, but someday… I want to not be afraid anymore. like I want to finally be in a state of mental/financial security so I can live my life without the fear of what's coming next. 

W - An idol.

it's probably really basic to list a youtuber, but I've still gotta go with Chase Ross. the guy was an inspiration and a major source of information and support for me early-on in my transition, and even watching him now I still want to approach life with the pure positive energy and confidence that he has. 

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

yes. a couple things, really… some of which I don't think I'll ever be able to make up for.

Y - If I like my town and why.

my current town? yeah, it's got its problems but it's also beautiful and full of life and art and unique energy and I miss the days before the Corona End Times when I could actually go out and enjoy it.

Z - Ask any question you want.

??? I did not receive any specification for this one, and given that I didn't skip even the duplicate answers and this is ridiculously long, this one I'm gonna SKIP.

[lovemesomesurveys]

do you sing in the shower? Yeah, I have a shower playlist on my Spotify I sing along to.

do you think money makes people happy? It certainly helps, sure, but you can still be unhappy and unfulfilled. It’s not everything.

what's your relationship status? Very much single.

what time is it? 3:29AM.

what emotion are you feeling right now? Tired and irritated.

do you have netflix? I do.

have you ever traveled outside your home country? Once.

coffee or tea? Coffee, of course. 

shower or bath? Shower.

what's your favorite pizza topping? Extra cheese and sauce, spinach, cilantro, green onion, garlic. 

what's something that makes you happy? Beach days.

do you have siblings or are you an only child? I have two brothers.

what's your favorite instrument? Piano.

what's your favorite food? Italian, Mexican, and American.

what is something you are always losing? My mind, probably. <<< That’s how I feel.

are you good at spelling? I think so.

what is one goal you have? Get my health stuff under control.

did you get a flu shot this year? No. I never have.

what's your favorite Disney movie? A few of my top favorites are Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, Toy Story and A Goofy Movie.

are you bored? No.

what are you listening to? An ASMR video. what's your favorite foreign language? Spanish.

what do you do when you can't sleep? My nightly routine consisting of scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, and listening to ASMR.

do you like cats or dogs better? Dogs.

do you have any piercings? Just my earlobes.

what's your favorite vegetable? Potatoes, spinach, green onions, broccoli. do you eat meat? Yeah.

what's the best concert you've ever been to? All of ‘em. Concerts are just a fun, cool experience.

what's your favorite season? Fall and winter.

do you still write letters? No.

what would make you really happy right now? If I was able to have beach vacay.

what's your favorite song? I have a lot.

are you good at giving advice? I wouldn’t recommend asking me for advice; I’m a mess.

what's your favorite hobby? Reading and doing surveys.

do you prefer to talk or text? Text over talking on the phone.

what's your favorite pair of shoes? My Adidas.

how often do you read? (as in books) I read a lot. I finish one and start another. There’s a few different series I’ve been into that’s been keeping me occupied.

do you have any pets? I have a doggo.

what's your favorite day of the week? I don’t have one.

are you in college? No, I’m done with school.

are you/have you ever been in a long distance relationship? No.

how do you typically listen to music? I use Spotify.

do you like going to the beach? I love the beach.

did you make any new year's resolutions? No, I stopped doing that years ago.

how old are you? 31 years old.

do you know anyone who is blind? No.

who is someone you admire? My mom.

do you have a good singing voice? No, unfortunately. 

are your nails painted? Nope. It’s been a few years since I’ve painted them.

Are you an extrovert or introvert? I’m definitely an introvert. 

what are you having/had for dinner tonight? I don’t know, yet.

do you ever write in a journal? This is my journal/diary.

if you could time travel when/where would you go? My childhood. what's your favorite animal? Doggos and giraffes.

what's your favorite kind of cereal? The sugary ones.

how was your day? It’s only 4 in the morning. 

do you ever listen to classical music? Not often or regularly, no.

what inspires you? I haven’t felt inspired in a very long time.

how many pillows do you sleep with? Finally had to pack away a lot of them cause they were just taking up too much space. I currently have 4 on my bed, but prior I had like 10. I only actually use 2.

how many hours of sleep do you need? I never have enough.

do you have big or small feet? Small.

what's the weather like where you are? Miserably hot.

what's the most interesting thing you can see out the window? It’s pitch black out right now. 

does/did your high school have a school song? Yeah.

what month is your birthday in? July.

what's your dream job? I don’t have one. :/

are you excited for summer? Noooooo. D:

what foreign country would you want to live in for 6 months? Hmm. I’d have to really think about that.

did you have to go to school today? No, I’m done with school.

win a million $$ or never have to pay for anything again? Never have to pay for anything again, obviously. <<<

do you throw coins into fountains? Sometimes.

do you have a trampoline? No.

what's your favorite song lyric? I have many.

what did you eat the last time you went to the movies? Popcorn and mini KitKats. 

do you ever measure time in songs? When listening to music I sometimes do that. Like, when in the shower I measure how long to leave my shampoo in my hair that way.

do you know how to play chess? Nope.

what's your favorite game? (any type) Mario Bros, The Sims, various board games..

do you enjoy traveling? I don’t get the opportunity to do a lot of it, but yes.

do you tend to wait till the last minute? Yes.

have you ever owned a goldfish? Yeah.

how do you relieve stress? Cry.

without looking it up, guess the outside temperature? 82F.

now look it up - how close were you? Ha, I guessed way too high it’s only 52. It’s been getting really warm in the mornings so I assumed it was already high.

do you prefer digital or analog clocks/watches? Digital.

do you prefer to shop in stores or online? I’ve been doing a lot of online shopping the past few years even pre-COVID, but since COVID that’s all I’ve done until just recently as I’ve started to venture out to places like Target and Walmart. I haven’t gone to any clothing stores or any other store, yet, but I’m working towards it. Anyway, all that being said I do enjoy shopping online, but it’s nice to get out there and shop once in awhile. It’s definitely more comfortable and convenient for me right now, though.

do you enjoy coloring? I love my adult coloring books. <<<

do you like to dance? I don’t really dance.

have you ever owned a horse? No.

do you take selfies? Rarely. I did for the first time in a long time recently at my bro’s grad party.

do you ever listen to music in languages besides English? Not often, but sometimes.

have you ever cried from listening to a song? Oh, definitely.

what's your favorite song from a movie? I have several favorites. 

do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds.

who was your favorite music artist when you were 10? Britney Spears, N*SYNC, Backstreet Boys, etc. <<<

when was the last time you had to go to the dentist? It’s been a few years.

can you speak Spanish? Very little.

what's the last thing you watched on youtube? I’m currently watching an ASMR video.

now what time is it? 6:09AM. I clearly took a break. Well, actually I feel asleep.

do you ever watch musicals? Yeah, some.

do you know anyone who's a twin? Yeah.

do you ever get carsick? Yes.

what's your opinion on wolves? They’re gorgeous, but I wouldn’t want to be near one.

when you're sad do you prefer sad music or happy music? I go for the sad.

do you like seafood? Nooo.

do you enjoy going to the zoo? I enjoy seeing zoo animals, but I hate that they’re in captivity like that. <<<

are there any celebrities from your hometown? Yes.

do you shower in the morning or at night? At night.

do you prefer to work alone or in a group? Alone.

do you go to the gym alone or with a friend? I don’t go to the gym.

do you like coconut? I like the scent but not the food. <<<

who is someone you're jealous of? No one.

what's your favorite place to go out for breakfast? IHOP, Denny’s, and this local place.

do you still have your christmas tree up? Ha, no. And I actually have the decorations in my room put away as well, which prior to this year I had up for two years. 

do you have a favorite type of bird? No.

have you ever had an overnight flight anywhere? No.

if you use them, tell me 5 of your recently used emojis I don’t feel like checking.

do you know anyone that plays the violin? *shrug* I might.

how much money is in your wallet right now? Not sure, exactly.

anything you're looking forward to tomorrow? No.

have you ever auditioned for anything? Nope.

did you have a webkinz when you were younger? No.

how would you describe your aesthetic? I have no idea.

have you ever been told you look like a celebrity? No. 

when was the last time you rode a bus? Back when I was still in college, so 6 years ago.

if you saw $50 on the ground what would you do? If no one was around, I’d pick it up and keep it. If it was in a wallet, I’d turn it in. <<< That’s what I would do.

do you know how to play any unusual instruments? No. 

are you an early bird or a night owl? Both, really. Here I am at 6:17AM basically up all night. I dozed off for a bit, but still.

have you ever had trouble understanding someone because of an accent? Yes.

do you ever go to Massachusetts? I’ve never been.

do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Not that I know of.

what was the most memorable rainbow you've ever seen? (if any) Uhh.

do you remember anything from when you were 5 or younger? Just spotty preschool memories.

do you need to do laundry? No.

do you know anyone (including yourself) who actually enjoys math? Ew, definitely not me.

do you have a favorite poem? No. I haven’t read a whole lot of poetry.

if you were from somewhere else, would you visit your town on vacation? Uh, no. There’s absolutely nothing to do here. We’re not a vacation/touristy city.

where would you spend $100 if you had to spend it all in one store? Ooh, probably Boxlunch.

would you rather go to Japan or Greece? Greece.

now what song are you listening to? I’m not listening to a song at the moment.

what are you wearing right now? Leggings and a Mario Bros shirt.

any fun plans for the weekend? Nope.

[eldritchsurveys]

865.

Are you still in quarantine/under stay at home order? (if you're taking this during Covid-19, that is) >> No, the governor’s executive stay-at-home order ended in June. Personally, I still stay at home except for weekly grocery trips and trips to the Wayland house because... well, where else am I going to go? Aside from take walks.

Has stuff been opening back up where you are? >> Eh. It’s been kind of confusing. Many restaurants are still closed / doing takeout, but I’ve heard that they’ve tried opening bars back up, which sounded completely dumb to me, like... of all places? but whatever. Most stores are open, I believe, with mask-wearing encouraged (I say it like that because it really is just a suggestion. There are no actual consequences for walking into a store without a mask, unfortunately, so some people still do it).

What have you missed most that you haven't been able to do due to Covid-19? >> I’ve mostly missed J. Gardella’s Tavern, which was on its way to being shut down anyway because they’d been bought out by some gastropub fuckers. But because of the executive order, I never got to go there for a last round. :( Also, I miss just being able to go downtown etc and walk around and do stuff. In general.

What state do you live in? >> Michigan.

Do you personally know anyone who has had Covid-19? >> No.

Have you had it? (or think you might have?) >> I have not had it, nor do I think I have it. Sometimes I get paranoid because there’s apparently quite a few “non-obvious” type symptoms that have gotten connected to COVID infection (like digestive issues), but, whatever.

Do you know anyone who is a healthcare worker? >> No. Sparrow works in a podiatrist’s office, but that’s not really the kind of healthcare worker I think this question means.

Have you still been working these past few months or not? >> I don’t work, period.

If you weren't working, are you still in school? >> No.

What is/was your major in college? >> ---

Or if you're not in college yet, what do you want to study? >> ---

If your school closed due to Covid-19, do you miss it? >> ---

What are you most excited about when life goes (somewhat) back to normal? >> I will be glad when we can stop wearing masks. You know, in like late 2021 or whenever. Because it sure won’t be any time soon, I can tell that much.

Did Covid-19 impact any major plans you had for this spring/summer? >> I didn’t have any major plans. All my ideas for the summer were pretty minor.

Do you collect anything? >> No.

What's the name of your favorite restaurant? (chain or local) >> Long Road Distillery.

What is your favorite thing to order when you eat there? >> I don’t remember, we were only there for dinner once but I immediately fell in love with the menu (and the drinks, by god).

Have you still been able to get food from there during Covid-19? >> Yeah, they have online ordering and curbside pickup. They make cocktail kits, too, which is cool.

Are you planning on eating there anytime soon when they reopen? >> Oh god, yeah. Definitely not any time soon even if they do reopen sooner than I think is safe, but... yeah.

Have you discovered any good new music during quarantine? >> I discover new music all the time.

What's a new song you've been loving lately? (not necessarily newly released, just something you've recently discovered) >> Heard a cover of Huey Lewis and the News’ Stuck With You by Twelve Foot Ninja recently that I thought was fun. Honestly, that song is just fun no matter what, though.

Have you been able to keep in touch with friends during this time? >> The majority of my social interaction was online anyway, so.

What is your favorite Starbucks drink? >> ---

Do you prefer Starbucks or a local coffee shop? >> I prefer local everything.

What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid? do you still ever watch it? >> ---

Have you been watching a lot of movies during quarantine? >> No more than I would be usually, since my daily life didn’t change as dramatically as most people’s did. But yeah.

What is your favorite Disney movie? >> Lilo & Stitch.

Do you have Disney plus? >> Nope.

Are you a fan of Hamilton? >> Never seen it.

Are you planning to watch Hamilton on Disney plus? >> No, because I don’t have Disney+...

Have you seen Hamilton live? (Broadway or elsewhere) >> No...

What is your favorite musical? >> Phantom of the Opera.

Have you watched any musicals online recently? >> No.

What was the last live performance you went to before quarantine? >> The last live performance I saw was the various acts at the Endless Night Vampire Ball in October.

What was the best concert you've ever been to? >> I’ve been to too many concerts to answer this.

Do you volunteer anywhere? >> No.

What is your favorite movie on Netflix? >> ??? There are... so many movies on Netflix.

Did you relocate due to Covid-19? >> No.

What is one positive thing about the past few months for you? >> I’m not sure.

Do you prefer streaming music or buying it? >> I stream it. I can’t in any way afford to buy the amount of music I listen to.

Do you use Spotify? >> Yeah.

What was the last book you read? >> The last book I finished was Making Friends With Death.

Have you been baking during quarantine? >> No. Sparrow did when she was furloughed.

What is your favorite thing to bake? >> I don’t like to bake.

Do you enjoy doing crafts? >> Eh.

Have you ever done crafts for money? >> No.

Do you shop on Etsy? >> Yes.

Have you ever sold anything on Etsy? >> No.

What song are you listening to right now? >> None. I thought about putting some on and then I forgot.

What genre of music is your favorite? >> ---

Can you speak any foreign languages? >> Not fluently.

What is/was your favorite class in school? >> ---

Who was your favorite teacher most recently? >> ---

What is the lock screen and home screen on your phone? >> Lock screen is a shot of Sam from Death Stranding. Home screen is from a live performance of Phantom.

Do you play Animal Crossing? >> Sometimes. Sparrow plays it more than I do, but even she’s stopped playing it as much because of that whole “get your island to a 5-star rating!” bullshit. It’s just aggravating.

Do you have any pets? What kind? What is/are your pet(s) name(s)? >> Sparrow has a cat and his name is Spooky.

what is a song lyric you love? >> Right, I’m definitely not going to think of that off the top of my head right now.

Have you done anything recently to support Black Lives Matter? >> No.

Are there any songs you feel transport you to a world that doesn't exist? >> They transport me to worlds that do exist. Just not on this plane.

What songs do that for you? >> Wardruna is good for it. But there are plenty of others, I’m just not trying to think of them all right now.

What is your favorite ethnicity/cuisine of food? >> Can’t choose.

What are some popular things that you don't like/aren't interested in? >> TikTok is one. Sparrow loves it and I watch the videos she shows me, and I don’t hate it or anything, but I would never download the app myself. Just not interested.

When was the last time you got a haircut? >> I last cut my hair... uh... a week ago? Roundabouts.

What was the last movie (or musical) you watched? >> The last movie I watched was The House That Jack Built.

What was the last movie you saw in the theatre? >> Birds of Prey.

How soon are you planning on going back to work? (If you've been off) >> ---

What is an item you own that means a lot to you? >> I finally got my Death Is the Road To Awe t-shirt and it means a lot to me because of what it references.

Do you have a favorite t-shirt? >> No.

What other proshot musicals would you love to see streaming online? >> *shrug* Haven’t thought about that.

What is something you're looking forward to? >> This heat wave to be over. I’ve had to skip so many daily walks because it’s just so hot so early lately.

How do you plan on celebrating Covid-19 being over, whenever that is? >> The problem with this idea is that... it’s not that simple? From what I understand, it’s not like one day we’re all gonna say “that’s it! we’ve officially eradicated this virus from the earth and we will never have to worry about it again!” I’m guessing it’s going to be a slow process of reopening with a lot of false starts and rollbacks (as new waves crest and protective measures have to be re-implemented). Even that first day that I go out to a restaurant is probably going to feel really weird and even a little “wrong”. I’m not sure how much celebrating is really going to be happening.

[yaachtynoboat711]

Fonder 6

A/N: Yes, I’m back like I never left! I’ve been hella busy this summer and I’m just happy to be checking back in. It’s been a little over a year since I began writing and I must say, I’m happy to still be doing this. I love y’all and the encouragement, support, and creative guidance some of you all have given me for the past year!

Word Count: ~3.2K

Warning(s): Fluff, Language, a dash of angst

Thursday, March 19, 2015, 6:19 p.m., Philadelphia

Today was the day: Michael and Khalida were meeting each other’s parents. Due to the filming of his upcoming film Creed , Michael temporarily relocated to Philadelphia. With him three hours away, Yaa was able to visit him as much as her schedule would allow her to. Now, here they were in his car headed to dinner. Both were visibly nervous and reasonably so. Michael paid special attention to the road as he drove his anxiety away. Yaa was deep in her phone checking and responding to work-related emails. In any event of distress, her first choice of relief was work—a drug of choice. As much as she tried to keep her composure, the constant shaking of her foot was the dead giveaway. In an attempt to console his nervous girlfriend, Michael gripped part of Yaa’s thick thigh.

“Hey...it’s ok to be nervous, sugar bear. Not to make you any more nervous than you already are, but my parents can at times be...a lot to handle. Buuut, I’m more than confident that you can be able to handle them. I’ve seen you go against lawyers that’ve practiced law longer than you’ve been alive and you don’t even flinch. So if you can deal with them, then Donna and Michael A. are the least of your concerns.”, Michael comforted as he kept his eyes on the road.

Yaa finally sent her last e-mail for the weekend and locked her phone. “Yeah, but the biggest difference between those old ass lawyers and your parents is that I haven’t slept with any lawyer’s son. Even further, you haven’t met my parents; they take bougie to a whole new dimension. I just don’t know how our parents are going to mix, y’know?” Michael drove in silence, contemplating on what Yaa had just said. “I’m sorry, Kari, that was a lot. I’m just...nervous.” Yaa lowered her head as she realized that she may have spoken too much, at least in her head.

Looking out of the car window, Yaa got lost in the Spotify playlist playing throughout the car. Without a word, Michael took Yaa’s hand into his and kissed the top of her knuckles gently. Her straight face quickly turned into a slight grin. “I love you, Peanut.”, she muttered.

Michael rolled his eyes, “I love you too, sugar bear.”

Forno Rosso, 5:36 p.m.

By the time Yaa and Michael arrived at the restaurant, their parents were already seated and well into conversation. The circular table was located towards the back in a corner, which according to the restaurant’s owner, was the best spot for an intimate dinner despite the sounds of people conversing and plates clacking. The couple walked to the back hand in hand to find the other only Black people in the restaurant--their parents.

“Well, speak of the Devil, there go our babies!”, Khadijah announced as she got up. After the seemingly never-ending round of hugs ended, the couple began introducing each other to parents.

“Mom, Pops, this is my girlfriend, Dr. Khalida Abdullah. Baby, these are my parents, Donna and Michael A. Jordan.”, Michael announced as he observed his parents’ reaction to hearing their son’s girlfriend’s name be prefaced with Doctor.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, sweetheart. Michael hasn’t shut up about you since New Years, and I must say, now it makes sense to see why you were the only thing he talked about. Isn’t she a pretty girl, baby?”, Ms. Donna greeted as she shook Yaa’s hand. With her husband’s affirming headshake, the handshake turned into yet another hug for Mr. and Mrs. Jordan.

“He talks about you two all the time also and thank you so much!”, Yaa replied. “Now, Kari, these are my parents, Drs. Khadijah and Mustapha Abdullah. Baba, Umi, this is Michael B. Jordan, my boyfriend.”

“Well, praise the Lord! Dreams do come true. My ibby has been dating you in her head for about 12 years. Finally a pleasure to meet you, son.”, Mustapha greeted, making sure to embarrass his daughter. Mission accomplished. “How are you treating my baby? Sublime, I hope?”

Michael looked to Yaa, who was in a side conversation with Khadijah. “Of course, Dr. Abdullah. There’s no reason for her to be treated any less or different.”

He was definitely keeping that Gatsby energy up—he sent her a dozen sunflowers every other Thursday and treated the office to lunch every now and again.For Valentine’s, the two went to Paris, where he officially asked her out. Apart from the lavish showering of affection and bomb sex, the two had a friendship and a connection that couldn’t be denied. Unlike Winston, Michael supported her career and her work ethic. In times she had to leave or cancel dates because she was called to emergency meetings? He didn’t want to, but he encouraged her to go on. The countless nights she was knee-deep in research? He definitely understood. Spending the night at the office? You bet your last dollar Michael was up with her. In those instances, he’d be sure to have food delivered to her. He even came to some of the trials she had to serve in. Though he didn’t want to admit it, seeing her in her zone turned him on. He respected her craft and her passion and vice versa. Their budding romance had actualized significantly slower than hers with Winston—she preferred that. Apart from the sugar daddy shit, she was finally in a “normal” relationship.

*****

The group’s dinner was running smoothly. The parents got along surprisingly well. Being that they were around the same age, the four related to each other. As for Michael and Yaa, they got along with each other’s parents really well. Hell, they were the lost son and daughter their parents secretly wanted.

Everyone took turns telling general stories about current life happenings and the parents even took the time to tell embarrassing stories about their children. The more they told stories, the further Michael and Yaa slumped in their chairs in shame. Yaa definitely didn’t want to re-visit her first day of high school, which if you were coming into high school at 11, a nightmare was destined to happen on the first day. Mustapha still found it especially funny after almost 14 years. Thankfully, Khadijah found a way to keep her first-born from dying at the dinner table.

“Enough about Khali’s first day at St. Dominic’s, honey. Ibby’s still a bit traumatized. But since we’re on the subject of first experiences,the question of the hour has yet to be asked or answered: how’d you two lovebirds meet?”

Silence. Because neither wanted to explain to their parents that they’d spent the wee hours of 2015 fucking each other senseless, Yaa especially preferred her father tell more embarassing stories about her awkward middle school-esque experiences at St. Dominic’s Girls Prep. But instead of conveying their anxiety with their facial expressions, the two stared at each other until Michael finally spoke up. “Well, Dr. Khadijah... I had the privilege of meeting your daughter at a Great Gatsby-themed New Year’s party that I hosted. Tanisha told me about her and I would’ve been stupid not to invite her...so I did. We...talked all night and up until the…next morning. We haven’t stopped talking to each other since. ” Michael looked to Yaa from across the table whenever he paused, attempting to make his “story” appear more credible than it was.

“Well...son, I’m happy you’ve finally found someone who makes you happy as Khalida does. Moreover, I’m happy to have met two new friends in Khadijah and Mustapha. Here’s to new beginnings and relationships!”, Donna saluted as she raised her glass of water. The table toasted and continued on with the night.

*************

Even after their children pleaded for them to come, the Jordan’s and Abdullah’s decided to opt out of going to the 76ers-Pelicans game following dinner. Though a blow, Michael and Yaa continued on with their date night. As the two sat in game night traffic, Michael couldn’t help but to take in his girlfriend’s beautiful profile. Her thick, oversized tortoise-shell glasses rested perfectly on the tip of her wide button nose. Her full lips were painted with the brightest red lipstick she could get her hands on. Her simple white turtleneck and jeans outfit was so simple, yet so...Khalida. Since the 76ers were playing Yaa’s New Orleans Pelicans, it was important for her to bring her Big Easy pride to the City of Brotherly Love. Though she wasn’t much for flashy jewelry, she made it a point to wear both her gold fleur-de-lis necklace and her Super Bowl ring. Such a flex.

Wells Fargo Arena, 9:17 p.m.

“YOOOOOO! THAT WAS A FOUL, REF, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?!?!”, Yaa shouted out as she shot up from her courtside seat. Michael was being entertained by the antics of his passionate date. She basically coached the game while sitting down, one hand interlocked with Michael’s and the other hand occasionally used to give direction to her beloved Pelicans, and nursing her second glass of moscato. Michael found himself laughing at her sincerity, gassing her up every now and then to reaffirm her sideline gripe.

“That’s right, baby!” “Y’all heard the lady!”

The two really looked like a couple. Not saying that their chemistry indicated otherwise; but this was their first public outing. The Paparazzi seemed to take notice of the two—cameras from all around the arena were tuning in to see Michael B. Jordan and his non-model date be boo’d up with one another. It was obvious that the two were being photographed. They could’ve given half a collective fuck what social media said about their relationship. If anything, they kinda absorbed the sudden attention.

It was Kiss Cam time. Couples throughout the arena were caught off-guard and gave their significant others quick, yet meaningful kisses.

“Well, damn, I guess niggas on the front row ain’t in love?”, Michael joked as he watched the other couples display their affection.

Yaa downed the rest of her wine, her eyes fixed on her sulking boyfriend.“I know you fuckin’ lyin. I just know you are, Kari.”,Yaa quickly responded as she started laughing.

“Naw, I ain’t. But I’m saying, if you had a date that looked good enough to eat, you’d want for them to be seen, too. That’s all I’m saying, baby.”

Yaa rolled her eyes at his antics, “You’re pathetic, you know that, right?”

Just as it seemed as the segment was over, the cameraman saved the best for last. The camera pointed at Yaa and Michael mid-laugh. Without hesitation, Michael gripped her chin and allowed his lips to taste the wine left on her lips. Damn, he’s a good kisser. Yaa pulled back first, her face more red than an Alabama home game.

“Oh, so you frontin’ for the cameras, I see.”, he whispered in her ear. A genuine cackle escaped her lips. “You gon’ stop, Kari!”

11:36 p.m.

Even though the game was in overtime, Yaa and Michael decided to leave early, in the interest of beating traffic and grabbing some late-night munchies. Clear and confident with their decision, the two made a quick beeline towards the tunnel. Unfortunately, with their decision came a flock of paparazzi behind them. The closer they got to the exit, the more cameras seemed to appear. Fuck. Whatever you do, don’t let go of his hand! Their brisk walk quickly turned into a jog. “Michael! Who’s the lucky lady?” “What’s your name?!” “I thought you only dated models, Mike? She doesn’t look like a model.” That last comment got the best of Yaa. “Aye, ya mammy doesn’t either, yet here we are!”, she scolded. As they made the last left turn to the exit, a group of maybe 10 camera people began their flashing light dance. This time, they weren’t moving out of the way. Michael stopped to assess a strategy.

“The hell you stop for?!”, a clearly shaken Yaa demanded.

“I need a plan. They don’t look like they’re going to move out of the way.”, Michael replied as he stared off in the exit’s direction. Yaa’s chest rose and fell as quickly as her heart was beating. Suddenly, her hand trembled in his and a slight sweat appeared on her forehead. Her fear-driven adrenaline was going into overdrive as the paparazzi came closer.

“Fuck, Winston, they’re everywhere!”, Yaa commented loud enough for only the two of them to hear. But before Michael could get pissed, he snatched her hand and made his way through the thick media jungle. Shuttering cameras, seizure-inducing flashing lights, and loud overlapping questions further added to the circus they walked through.

“Michael!” “Michael!” “ Mr. Jordan!” “Who is she? “How long are you in Philly? “Can you tell us about the movie?” “Michael, who’s your friend?” “How’s Cre—”. The clearly rambunctious questions being asked became muffled as the car doors closed. The two sat in somewhat silence as they tried to catch their breath. “Remind me...to never go anywhere else with you. Because that...that... was... bullshit.”, Yaa remarked in between breaths.

“I’ve never had the paps out on me like that. You ok? That was jus—did you really call me Winston back there?!”, Michael answered.

“I did? Oh shit, I’m so sorry!”

SOMEWHERE IN LOS ANGELES, 8:40 p.m.

“Aye, bro? Your ex, Klarissa, the real thick one, got dreads, right?”, Winston’s college friend Jamar asked as his furrowed brows remained glued to his phone.

“Klari-...you mean Khalida? Yeah. Why you ask?”, Winston asked as he handed Jamar another water.

“Looks like she’s on a date with...hold on…”, he took his glasses off to clean them and put them back on, “...Michael B. Jordan? She all up on this nigga, Duke.”

A date? Winston snatched the phone out of Jamar’s hand, “Gimme that and stop messing around, bro.” Sure enough, Jamar was right.

DEVELOPING: ACTOR MICHAEL B. JORDAN AND CINDERELLA DATE SPOTTED AT BASKETBALL GAME IN PHILADELPHIA

As he read the brief article, he began shaking his head involuntarily. He went numb with every paparazzi picture he saw of his Yaa and Michael holding hands. But when he saw the kiss cam picture and another picture of them exchanging smiles, that’s all his heart could stand to bear.

His chest felt numb and totally void of any sensation or urge of movement. She looks...happy. It’s one thing to lose a loved one in death, but to lose the one you truly love to someone else and to see them happier with them is a different kind of hurt. His heart had been dropped onto a cactus; pricked and pained, but not yet bleeding. In that very moment, Winston wanted to ball up into the fetal position and isolate himself from the rest of the world. Career, family, life in general be damned. Duke...yo, Duke!

“DUKE!”, Jamar snapped Winston out of his moment of despair.

“Yeah?”, Winston replied dryly.

“Aye, bruh, you good?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” He didn’t realize his face and the top of his tank were wet from the excessive crying he’d did. Hell, he didn’t even know he was crying.

“Well, your ex is off dating movie stars and you’re funeral sobbing. She ain’t dead: she’s just moved on. You gotta allow her to move on and be happy. Besides, she ain’t say shit when you were with that crazy ass chick.”

“You know...I’m uh...gonna go to bed? Yeah, I’m going to bed. Lock the door when you leave . Goodnight.”

Before Jamar could get another word in, Winston walked briskly to his bedroom, slammed the door, and began to pace the floor. His chest began to heave as his sobbing intensified with every step. I fucked up, I fucked up, shit, I fucked up. No,no,no, no, no. She’s really moved on? All the women in the world, and he chose Khalida?! MY Khalida?!?! Fuck.

At some point, he was in denial that he saw Khalida in those pictures, because she surely wouldn’t have been kissing Michael B. Jordan. As much as he didn’t want to, he forced himself to go back to The Shade Room’s website to look at the article. Maybe, it could’ve been another thick woman with now ash blonde locs that shared similar tastes in optical wear. Maybe it was another beautiful Black woman that rocked bright red lipstick and wore black nail polish. Maybe, just maybe, the pretty lady in question’s embellished “K” brooch stood for something else, like, Kenya,Kenzie, or Kayla. Yeah, that was it: mistaken identity. Jamar knew how his best friend felt about Khalida and wanted to play around. Yup—case closed. But, when he looked at a new picture, his already confirmed suspicions were confirmed once more. As the two walked out of the arena and into the pool of flashing lights and voices fighting each other to be heard, Yaa naturally shielded her face with her right hand—the hand her Super Bowl ring always inhabited. Damn.

“FUUUCK!” ,he yelled at the top of his lungs.

He took deep breaths to calm down, certain that he’d startled his neighbors with his tantrum. “Why are you doing this to me, Yaa?”

Back in Philly, 12:30 a.m.

The maddening silence in the car made the 25 minute ride feel like a 12 hour ride. For Yaa, the obvious feeling of shame veiled over her. How could she call Michael “Winston” of all people at a time as that? Now, bitch, you knew better than that. You knew not to call that man no damn Winston. Try to fix it now. Her quick glances over to the driver side were calculated in the hopes that he wouldn’t see the shame over her face.

For Michael, it was much different. He knew that he obviously couldn’t be pissed , but he wasn’t necessarily fond of being called an ex of Yaa’s. He took the sound of silence to figure out what he needed to feel. Slight disappointment. Yeah, that was it: upon close self-deliberation, he had determined that he was just disappointed. Yet, the wave of his current emotion wouldn’t overtake him, as he knew that she wouldn’t be a repeat offender. A simple mistake made in the heat of the moment. Besides, he needed to meet that Winston fellow anyways.

Yaa finally broke the silence, “Baby, I’m sorry that I—” Her eyes crossed to take note of the index finger Michael had placed over her mouth. She looked over to see a silent Michael nodding his head subtly.

“You don’t need to apologize, love. I get it: in the heat of emotions and the moment, you reverted to calling a familiar name. You haven’t found yourself to be in a difficult situation with me, so now I understand.”, Michael explained as he finally removed his finger from over her lips,

“If anyone should be apologizing, it should definitely be me. I brought this attention to us. But, I can’t promise that that’ll be the last encounter with those nosy ass niggas.”

“Sooo...you’re not mad?”, a confused Yaa inquired for clarification.

He nodded, “Nah, in that moment, my ego was hurt, but since I’ve been driving, that fake anger was reduced to understanding. You’re good, mamas. Believe that.”

The two exchanged a glance and a laugh. Finally, the tense air had been cleared to play music. Yaa opened up her Spotify driving playlist and pressed shuffle. Ironically, “Say My Name” began playing, prompting a duet of a “Yoooooo!” to play background to the song.

“This shuffle ain’t shit!”, Yaa moaned with disgust.

THE HOT GIRL TAG LIST:

@muse-of-mbaku @kumkaniudaku @eriknutinthispoosy @whoramilaje @mbakusthrone @mbakuwife @crushed-pink-petals @forgottenthoughtsandmemories @eclecticblkgirl @jackburtonsays @randomwordprompts @bartierbakarimobisson @wakandan-flowerz @blackpantherreblogs @ljstraightnochaser @babygirlofwakanda @eerythingisshaka @washyourlinens @turn-thy-paige @doublesidedscoobysnacks @wakandas-vibranium @oceanscorazon @oshasimone @destinio1 @sonofnjobu @teheeboo @sarahboseman @thememoireeofme @iamrheaspeaks @chaneajoyyy @lovelynervouschaos @cay-cah @coonflix @katasstrophey @mareethequeen @jozigrrl @great-neckpectations @jellybean531 @yofavcocoa @storibambino @maya-leche @blackgirloneshots @royallyprincesslilly @texasbama @certifiednatural @abeautifulmindexposed

[theexecutionerssong]

I’m replying to everyone who’s sent me a message regarding the being nicer thing from yesterday under the cut because I don’t want to be annoying by publishing so many asks. thank you, all of you ♥

Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that people are accusing you of sounding mean/rude etc. sometimes I think you’re still too nice to the rude anons and I feel like a lot of this is passive aggressive on their part. They come at you because they think you’re an ‘insider’ fan and they’re jealous, and if you come back defensively, then they accuse you of being rude blah blah blah. If these people are making your experience on tumblr a negative one then just ignore those asks and enjoy yourself bb! 

Hmm idk I mean it wouldn’t cross my mind to go after someone because they know some things I don’t? So they probably have a point somewhere in telling me I should be kinder, I know I can be short when I answers asks because I get so many and sometimes the same ones every other day so it gets a bit tiring...

hello! for sounding "nicer" i know when it comes to like texting friends and stuff. i always over use emojis and 'lol' bc i think when you don't it makes people (including myself) read it in a kind of boring/unimpressed tone in my head. LIKE HOW CAPS MAKES ME YELL IN MY HEAD LOL. (disclaimer: i'm a recent follower and find you nothing but nice. and you definitely don't owe any of us to go out of your way to type differently so you come across as 'nicer'. your english is fantastic!)

if I ever use lol then it’s because I find the thing extremely not funny and it’s ironic ahah I try to use emoji but when on my computer I can’t really be bothered... Thank you very much for your message!

I don’t think you’re rude, I think sometimes you get defensive because you’ve been getting the same questions over and over again and you must get tired. And you’ve talked about having insomnia so you must also be physically tired on top of mentally. That’s normal, we’re all humans. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah it’s true, I do get defensive when I’m more tired. Sometimes when I need to vent, I read my inbox outloud to a friend - the asks I don’t publish I mean - and it helps but sometimes I don’t have anyone next to me to do that with so I get cranky when I see people prying into the cast’s lives, asking personal questions, things like that. It’s hard to ignore when you read the same disturbing things every couple of days. Thank you ♥

You're not annoying at all, on the contrary, you're the sweetest! It's just that I think people are frustrated that you know so much without sharing, and maybe also the fact that you continue to think you're a normal fan, even though you're clearly "in". I don't know, I'm trying to understand... I think it might be jealousy as well.

The thing is, I can’t say for now how I’ve come to know some stuff because it would spoil way too much and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to ever. I’m not really “in”, that’s the thing. I am a normal fan, as normal as a fan who’s lucky enough to live in Paris and who could go to a lot of events - and that’s a couple hundreds of us. I don’t know how much the international fandom is aware of that but David and Niels and the cast know hundreds of us by name just because we were lucky enough to meet them several times. I’m not really more “in” than those other people. Some from the cast have not a clue who I am at all and others only know my @ on instagram because I send them the pics. I’m a bit closer to some for reasons I can’t talk about. The team got a lot of complaints about everything always happening in Paris and some fans ending up being more priviledged than others. I’m hoping there will be more events outside of Paris, maybe screenings or something in the future so it doesn’t feel as ~Parisian elite~ as last year.

I think you’ve always been receptive when people came to you with a different opinion and from what I saw, you’re always willing to learn. Some people are just too entitled and come barging in and that’s when you raise you hackles. It’s not really on you, it’s hard to be kind to everyone when people don’t always deserve it.

Hmmm yeah, my friends have told me I have strong opinions and don’t change my mind easily so... idk. I could maybe be more receptive, like you said, at times. I went from getting one ask every six months to dozens a day in a few weeks last year and it still blows my mind. I wasn’t ready for that. There must be people who disagree with me in my followers. Idk. Something I need to think about. Thanks ♥

bonsoir tumblr grandma! 💫 in my humble opinion, you do not come off as rude. I just think sometimes people tend to read what they wanna read and make the worst out of it. Plus, the whole Even season is a really touchy subject because everyone would love one and when such announcements of possibles seasons happen, they can't help but be hopeful. So of course they don't like it when they're told it's not gonna happen. You're not rude, you're just saying things they don't want to hear. 🤷‍♀️ ily!

I know how much people must be upset to see their hopes crushed, I was disappointed too back when I first heard about it, and my hopes were not that high to begin with since David had said before Eliott wasn’t considered as main. I get asks every week about Eliott being main, almost every gifset I make will have a tag about how whatever is clearly a reference to Eliott being main and I’m just like... let it go. Or talk about it on your own posts. I’m sad it’s not happening. Don’t rub it in my face, you know? I didn’t say anything for months and accepted it was the way it would be so I couldn’t complain but then Henrik mentioned it to someone at HOS2 and I thought that finally those asks and comments would stop but they don’t and it’s very tiring. Anyway, thank you as always!

I don't think you're rude and i don't know you irl it's just that some of your anons are creepy and acted so demanding like you owe us something and it pissed me off actually. Like those anon who asked something like you know this right? How you know abt this? Why you know the cast? It sounds so suspicious that you know them etc. these anons are so nosy like why so negative. Istg i thought they would interrogate you yesterday after you mentioned abt working with assa before skamfr.

I’m gonna say something I haven’t really shared in details before but it’s weighting on me. Some anons are really creepy, so I don’t publish them. For exemple, somebody found my spotify recently and through it found my old Facebook. My friends have sent me screenshots of people following them on their instagram after being tagged in my stories and they are always Skam stans, even when my friends have never posted about anything Skam related. Someone once went digging into my personal life so far that they could have ruined the theme of season 5 in september if they had decided to make what they had found public instead of sending me an ask about it. That shit is not okay. I blew up about this once last year and somebody told me “why do you make it sounds like we’re creepy fans of yours” and well, because some stuff IS creepy. I understand being curious but I will never share anything about the personal lives of the cast or anything that could spoil the seasons so I’d just like it if people stopped asking, you know? Thank you for reaching out ♥

gaëlle you never even once came off as rude (i started following you in february-march when s3 was airing). you're always helpful and patient. it's obvious when ppl go to cons/projos/meet the cast they might unintentionally find out smth that's not public knowledge. and it's a good thing actually that you don't immediately run here to share bc maybe a cast member didn't mean to reveal smth etc. in any case you don't owe us any information and those who demand answers are the rude ones

Thank you, love. yeah I’ve lost counts of how many times they’ve accidentally spoiled something at cons or screenings or in the background of ig stories, especially in the beginning. They are more careful now and some even let slip fake spoilers to see if it will spread (and by some I mean Axel after his play when he stays to talk to fans lmao). The fans who’ve learned stuff that way are usually super protective of the show though so nothing really spreads and that’s really nice to see - sorry Axel, joke’s on you ahah

Hi Gaëlle! Just want to say that I followed you because you always sound soooo sweet and sincere when answering asks. Never thought you're rude, even sometimes I thought you could be ruder because the ask was rude😂 Anyway, just thought let you know my opinion on the last ask, have a good day!🥰

Thank you darling. I’m sure I must have been rude at some point, I don’t think the anon from yesterday would have said that out of the blue, and I’m very sorry that I don’t realize it. Unless when people are REALLY rude then I allow myself to tell them to fuck off dfghjk

You don’t know me but I saw you a lot at HOS2, I recognized you from your instagram. Every time I saw you, you were cuddling people, laughing, singing - I heard you sing with your friends and Maxence joining in, it was adorable! The cheers the cast let out when they saw you come up for the group pictures weren’t fake. You have an aura around you that brightens the room. I really hope this isn’t too weird of me to say. I don’t think you could ever be unkind. You wouldn’t have so many friends otherwise - I mean, it looked like you do - and the cast wouldn’t have reacted like that upon seeing you. That alone convinced me you were a good person.

Oh my god I don’t know what to say. This is very unexpected, why didn’t you come say hi if you knew who I was? I wouldn’t have minded at all! Thank you, I don’t know what to say, really this is so kind. Have a lovely day. Thank you. thank you.

You're one of the nicest people I know, you're a literal bundle of love and sunshine (I'm not even kidding, really). And you're always so considerate about everybody when you're responding to asks that are asked NICELY... so really I don't know how you can come across as rude. And you deserve all the love 💕

Merci @littlhedgehog love you so so much and I’m so happy Skam brought us together. It’s been way too long since I gave you a hug ♥♥♥

and at 3 parts anon with advice who told me not to publish, thank you too, I’ll remember everything you said ♥

[purplesurveys]

1030

1. What did you do on the last nice weather day? I’m guessing ‘nice’ here universally means sunny and fair, even though that isn’t my weather of choice. But that said, yesterday I just stayed indoors and caught up on rest by binge-watching Friends, which I haven’t done in a while. I also ordered another embroidery kit online since my first kit, which I had mostly used as a trial since I’ve never done one before, has since run out of the given floss.

2. What do you love the most about your work? I work in an agency, so I’m not forced to do PR under just one company which I think would get boring for me pretty quickly. With the nature of my work, it’s fun working with many different brands/companies at one time because I get to be exposed to and learn about different industries, and I’m also challenged to come up with campaigns that would best fit the different groups that we work with which is always fun. Also, PR is a great way to keep up with the trends and always remain hip because I always know about upcoming campaigns or promos before they’re even unveiled to the public, lol.

3. What do you think about what is going on in the world today? I think wealthy people and big corporations are a crucial, if not the main, root of the world’s problems and it’s frustrating that the task of mitigating those issues is always delegated to everyone below them.

4. What is your favorite way to work out? By not doing so, hahaha.

5. What motivates you? I don’t know if anything has been lately. I’ve been taking life slowly and easily these days and I’m allowing myself to just go through the motions as I digest all these big adjustments currently going on in my life. For now I’m not putting any pressure on myself to be motivated to do anything big. I’m still a little overwhelmed with everything as it is.

...where’s #6?

7. What is something people do that drives you crazy? When people need something from you so they message you, but do unnecessary small talk before asking for a favor. The fact that they need my help does not bother me; the fact that they are only talking to me because they need something from me does not bother me. It’s the small talk that irks me. I’ll be ready to help anybody at any time and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve spoken – but just go ahead and ask for the damn thing and don’t waste my time trying to sound like you care about what’s going on in my life.

8. What are some things on your bucket list? Go to Wrestlemania, travel with my own funds, have my own place, have kids.

9. What are some of your deal breakers in a relationship? Do I even have any? Gab dropped so many red flags in our relationship that should have been dealbreakers and my dumb, ever-forgiving ass always saw past them. I think the thing with me is that I think I have a list of dealbreakers, but when actually confronted with them I’m too afraid to speak out about it, so I just forgive and forget and eventually they just stop being dealbreakers. I have to work on that.

10. What do you never leave your house without? My top three are phone, keys, wallet. And of course, as a given – a face mask and face shield.

11. What was your most memorable vacation? Sagada and Singapore/Malaysia, since that was my first trip abroad.

12. Do you have any phobias? Needles and fire.

13. What is your favorite ethnic food? Indian, Thai, Indonesian, and Korean. 14. I love Italian/Thai etc. Would you like to go to my favorite place sometime? I love both, though I like Thai a tad bit more. And yessss, I’m always open to anyone’s recommendations so long as it’s got something to do with food.

15. What TV shows have you binged lately? I’ve been rewatching Friends again and I’m in between seasons 5–7, which I believe to be the show’s peak. Currently, I’m several episodes away from the Ross/Elizabeth storyline and Chandler’s proposal.

16. Send me a funny meme that you shared recently. I haven’t been active on social media, so I haven’t seen any new memes lately. I hate missing out.

17. What do you hate about technology? This is more nitpickiness on my end than anything else, but battery power. I hate being constantly cautious over my gadget running out of power or dying on me especially when I’m out. I often find myself wishing for technology to evolve to the point that we won’t need batteries or to charge stuff anymore, which idek if it’s even possible haha.

18. What sites do you find yourself visiting the most? YouTube, by a mile.

19. Do you have any favorite apps? Again, YouTube. I also like going through Reddit at the end of the day.

20. What is the best part of your day? Any point I don’t find myself feeling miserable.

21. What time period would you like to visit the most, if you could time travel? 70′s punk/rock scene, maybe? < Ooh, this is a good one. Also, late 90s Attitude Era-era WWF/E. And whenever Pompeii was around.

22. What scents do you really enjoy? (a certain flower, cut grass, fireplace, perfume) Bakeries, a newly-cleaned hotel room, coffee shops.

23. What is something that you are terrible at? Giving and following directions, drawing, and cooking.

24. What are some favorites on your playlist right now? Because I mentioned The Japanese House on a survey last night, I am ALL over Saw You In A Dream again. Seriously, god-tier. One of my favorites ever. Outside of that, haven’t been listening to music lately because I’m still sad; but I might find myself back on Spotify soon. As much as I haven’t been tuning into music, I do miss it.

25. What comedy movie is your favorite? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Also, a bit of a garbage choice but White Chicks.

26. Have you ever meditated? No. I don’t think I have the patience/required attention span for it.

27. What is your dream job? I wanted to be in PR. I currently work at an agency which is my dream for now so yay for me achieving that, but like I’ve said before it would be such a dream come true if I can come work for WWE, my dream company, in any capacity. Getting to work for their in-house PR team would be the perfect icing on the cake.

28. What comes to mind when you think of a great moment in your life? Being in a relationship, and how much I miss that feeling. Now that I’ve experienced both singlehood and having an SO, I can definitely decide that I don’t particularly enjoy being by myself.

29. What do you miss the most about college? The independence I learned to gain. My campus was such a freeing environment and it allowed me to grow so much, to wear whatever I want, to join whatever protest or rally was going on, to meet new people, to hear different perspectives from my classmates. I miss being there.

30. Whenever you text it makes me smile! ???

31. What are you planning this weekend? My weekend is nearly over, actually...for the remaining 10 hours and 20 minutes of it, I willllll probably just watch a bunch of wrestling and maybe find something to watch on Netflix just so that I have something interesting to share for the weekly check-in tomorrow with the team.

32. Who is your favorite band? Paramore, but you knew that already.

33. How do you like to spend your free time? If I manage to find a few free minutes while at work, I gobble that shit up by lying in bed and finding a video to watch. On weekends I like doing embroidery, taking surveys, maybe even find a black hole of articles to read on Wikipedia. I’m also looking forward to playing video games once I’ve finally bought the ones I’ve been eyeing to get.

34. What do you like about springtime? I don’t know. I can’t relate, we don’t have that season.

35. Is your personality similar to anyone in your family? I’m most similar with my mom, but I share traits with my dad as well.

36. How have you handled having to stay in? It was sucky at first, but after eight months you kinda get used to it and just make the most out of things you can do only at home.

37. Are you able to work at home? Yeah, we’re all on a WFH set-up right now.

38. How would your friends describe you? The most popular opinion would probably be ‘shy.’

39. Did you ever take a really big risk? Sure.

40. What do you want to be known or remembered for? Anything but negatively.