#i have zero idea what this is but take it

[heartyluv]

I LOVE how you write the lads guys!!! May I please request taking advantage (in a kind way, of course) of zayne’s medical expertise and asking him silly medical questions? Just like really random stuff! lounging around with him at home or being out and about while asking those questions would be so funny and I’m sure he would kind of like it lol

Note: This idea is too cute, I love it. Thank you so much, luvly. I felt like this works best as headcanons, so I hope that’s okay. 😚 Enjoy!

Creds to @/strangergraphics for the dividers!

Warning: Just a brief explicit headacanon after you and Zayne have been intimate.

Zayne/Reader

✴︎ Dating a doctor meant that you officially had a walking medical encyclopedia for a boyfriend and you had no shame in utilizing his knowledge. Thankfully for you, Zayne was always happy to deliver whenever you asked him all kinds of questions.

✴︎ I feel like when you start getting comfortable enough to ask him, it’s really simple things. Like it’s questions about your personal health at first. You’ve definitely asked him something like; “Babe, how do I make my headaches go away faster?” and “What do you think are the best vitamins I should take so I don’t have to keep taking gross ones that aren’t doing anything?”

✴︎ Not only does Zayne answer your questions, but he gives you some deeper insight so that you have your own knowledge about things. And you like learning from him—especially because of the way he looks at you as you stay hooked onto his every word.

✴︎ He loves the little text messages you send him. You ask him something almost everyday, sometimes even attaching a photo for reference LOL. I picture you at the supermarket, stumbling upon these new health beverages that you want to try out. But if your Dr. Zayne says that they’re simply drinks full of more sugar than actual benefits, you’ll have zero problem putting them back on the shelf. “Do any of these actually work for gut health? I sent you the nutrition label. What do you think?”

✴︎ I believe he always takes your questions seriously, but you have moments where you ask him something so ridiculous that he can’t help but laugh. “Zayne, babe… I ate like three apples and a pomegranate, and now my mouth feels weird. Am I dying?” Don’t catch him on a day where he’s feeling goofy either, because he might scare you a little bit.

✴︎ “You may have oral allergy syndrome, my love.” Just imagine his tone being dead serious and the silence that follows. And when you start losing it over the phone, he tries to calm you down, but he’s just smiling so hard at your theatrics. When you search it up and you start worrying if you’ll ever be able to eat another mango again in your life, he tries to suppress his laughter, all while attempting to soothe you at the same time.

✴︎ You’ll be walking around while you guys are on a date and will randomly ask him how many calories does he think you’ve burned, just to see how accurate he is compared to your walking app that tracks all of that for you. Not only does he get incredibly close, he’s also able to do the same with the amount of steps you’ve actually taken.

✴︎ “Quick, we’ve been walking thirty minutes, normal paced. How many calories? Go!”

✴︎ Just wait till you start watching one of those medical shows. You never watch an episode without him because you have to know how accurate the writing is. He’s gotten through three seasons with you and sometimes, he’d answer questions before you even asked because he just knows you so well. And you legitimately learn so much that even you start pointing out unrealistic things yourself.

✴︎ “That doesn’t even make sense. He was hit in a major artery, wasn’t he Zayne? He shouldn’t even be able to argue with a doctor right now.” He’s so proud of you, by the way. How information sticks with you. And honestly? He finds it sexy—particularly knowing that he’s the reason why you know the things that you do.

✴︎ Times when you try to eat healthier, you always ask him how many calories something will be if you take something out or off. Like you’d still eat junk food or foods that aren’t exactly healthy, but you wonder what the difference will be if you add a vegetable. LOLLL.

✴︎ “Zayne, if I put only mushrooms on the pizza, is that better?”

“Honey, I think it’s best to just discard the pizza entirely in order to properly fulfill the goal you intended to reach.”

“But Zayne…It’s Friday and it’s pizza.”

✴︎ Some more questions off the top of my head from you would be; “If I eat more carrots than usual, will the decrease my chances of having to wear those thick bifocals when we’re old?

“If I’m on top more often when we have sex, will that tone my thighs out more?”

“How is it possible to drink a gallon of water a day? There’s just not enough time to drink all that liquid.”

✴︎ Omg, you totally believe that ginger is like the cure all and you even make him eat a raw slice of it a day LOLLLL. He admits that it has its benefits, but when he tries to tell you that you have to do more than just eat ginger, you listen, but you’re still so insistent about it.

✴︎ “Despite the benefits and your complete belief in the sacred ginger, love, please make sure you continue to take your daily supplements. Add to your regimen so that you improve your health—don’t take from it believing that something is an optimal replacement.”

✴︎ This one is a little explicit. But, I imagine you and him finish having sex, he’s on top of you, both of you already came and feel good. And even when you’re breathless, even with the glorious man above you, you can’t help it when you ask: “Do you think we’ve met our quota on physical activity for the next few days?”

✴︎ Zayne can’t help but laugh, leaning down to kiss your neck. But he’s also filthy enough to move his hips just a little, hinting that he in fact could go again and says, “I think it’s best to try again… One more time, just to be safe. I’m sure the quota will be more than met once I’m finished with you.”

✴︎ Of course you’re going to let him fuck your brains out again. Why wouldn’t you let Dr. Zayne take care of you? What kind of patient would you be if you didn’t?

[edutainer2022]

Lovely @janetm74 and I had a fascinating discussion about a What If possibility of Jeff, ridden with guilt for having dropped the ball as a parent in grief, having sought to "give the boys a mother". There would certainly be no shortage of volunteers among ladies who lunch. But what if it didn't go well AT ALL. This little convo between John and Scott builds on that premise in the aftermath of Zero-X.

A KING'S RANSOM

"Do you think she can do that? Take Allie away?"

"Dad's ex? She will certainly try. You're single with "no ties to the community". She'd want access to his shares, and then, if she buys Phelps and Carlisle out - she might have the controlling package of Tracy Industries. "

"Oh god! What do I do! I can't give Allie up! I can't! Not to her! I'd rather give her TI!"

"Then we can't fund IR. Ever. We'll never make THAT much money soon enough."

"Oh god! It's all falling apart! The moment Dad's gone - I can't hold it together! I can't loose Allie! Should we buy Phelps and Carlisle out?"

"They won't sell to you. They barely tolerated Dad as an "uppity hick", they make no secret of despising your guts."

"What do I do, Johnny? Ugh! I feel so useless!"

"You can testify."

"Huh?"

"IF she files for custody, you can actually testify why Dad divorced her."

"Johnny, I can't..."

"Then I will!"

"NO!" You weren't there! It'll be perjury! I won't let you!"

"Scott, she married Dad for money, all the while playing our Mom. She eyed you like you were chocolate dipped toffu on a stick. What she did was assault. Dad's divorce came with a restraining order for a REASON."

"I still feel like it was my fault! It's all my fault!"

"Scooter, stop! Virgil, tell him!"

"I can't let Allie know! Or Gordie! I can't let Dad down like that. Again!"

"Hang on! I got an idea. You got a twenty?"

"Huh? I... you need cash, Johnny? Here, I got a hundred on me."

"Good! Then it's fifty for me and fifty for Virg. One second... and... done! We hereby sold you our shares in Tracy Industries for fifty dollars each. You have the control stock she can't contest now."

"JOHN!!! You can't do that! That's your inheritance! Your future!"

"Well, brother mine, a) Virgil and I here have a strong hunch you won't exactly have us work for a paycheck or go on welfare, don't we, Virg? See! Virgil agrees!b) We still have our trust funds that, let me remind you, get padded from the TI profits quarterly. We also got Dad's assets per the will and Mom's inheritance. I think we're good for a couple of lifetimes."

"What if I tank the company? What if I can't step in for Dad?"

"Well then, brother dearest, there's a d) we strongly suspect you won't and you can, and e) that's a good thing Dad made us all get those fancy degrees and loads of marketable skills. We'll be alright."

"We're right beside you, Scotty!"

"What Virgil said. Now let's think how we banish the Evil Stepmother for good!"

[cyree]

answering the age old question of why i hate pesos mother 🤑 (this is also an excuse to yap about the great penguin race)

i made a video on this but it’ll take fifty years to upload so i’m just re typing it and i shortened the great penguin race to tgpr bc i am not typing allat 😭🙏

yes this is me losing it over fucking octonauts i am very normal about a certain episode ahah

okay so first this isn’t some random ass beef i came up with i have many reasons #d1hater

number one:

assuming you have watched tgpr then you know that peso did NOT sign up it was his mother and pinto who did.

why?? why did they have to go behind his back to do it?? why didn’t they ask peso about this??

like brother you are signing up your kid for the PENGUIN OLYMPICS and you don’t get his input?? did she just not gaf about how her son would feel about this 😭

neither pinto nor his mother gave a flying fugly fart about if peso would wanna participate which is odd considering HES THE ONE PARTICIPATING and considering this doesn’t seem like something peso would want to do.

number two:

okay so maybe i could get past that but no pinto and his mother just had to go and surprise peso with ts???

BROTHER WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN SURPRISE??? THE ONLY SURPRISE IS HOW HE DIDNT CRASH OUT PESO IS BETTER THAN ME GOODNESS GRACIOUS

so not only do they surprise him they do it HOURS before the race starts.

so pesos mother wants to send him into a race he is not prepared for, very OBVIOUSLY doesn’t want to do and that he had no say in.

not only is lil broseph going up against the REIGNING CHAMPION with little to no training but pinto and his mother want peso to win??

listen you guys i fucking love peso but he stood absolutely zero chance against hugo lets be honest

number three:

why is she going along with pintos stupid plan because this bs is a disaster waiting to happen and anyone with a working brain knows that pintos idea is astronomically stupid

now pinto has some excuse since his brain probably isn’t even halfway developed but his mum?? a grown ass woman?? how the fuck did you hear this and think “hell yeah lets do this!” like??? are you insane?? lacking braincells?? diseased?? idk anymore

number four:

okay so like i said earlier pesos mum really doesn’t seem to gaf about pesos feelings like at all and theres one scene that really pmo.

shockingly the first event goes horribly for peso since hes extremely unprepared and so he lands in that bigass pile of snow so pinto and his mum run over

and you might think “oh is she gonna comfort peso?”

no.

no comfort, no “you did great” all she says is

“peso you’ll catch a cold”

YOU LIVE IN THE SNOW?? THATS IS THE LAST THING THAT SHOULD BE ON YOUR MIND ARE YOU DUMB????????

then she says nothing else and walks away not even a “good luck” like girl do you have any sort of empathy for your kid?

number five:

ok this is more yapping about the race itself but it ties into my point.

so i cannot be the only one who thinks this race is like extremely dangerous not in the extreme sports way but in the extreme lack of safety precautions

some examples include multiple animals in the water where the swimming races take place, its because that there’s other animals that peso and hugo get stuck under the ice

now this is not me blaming pesos mother for them getting trapped because no one saw it coming but you would think shed put more thought into sending her child into the olympics yk

also there are literally predators in the water LIKE THERES AN ORCA THEY EAT PENGUINS ITS IN AN EPISODE IN ABOVE AND BEYOND RIGHT??? LIKE I SWEAR THERES ONE WHERE PESO AND PINTO ALMOST GET EATEN BY ORCAS??

heres the aforementioned orca btw

also there is ZERO first aid or rescue teams at all like if the octonauts hadn’t been there to rescue peso and hugo they likely would’ve run out of air by the time a rescue team arrived

considering they watch the race every year pesos mum had to have known this and intentionally or not she put her son in danger because of her decisions.

conclusion:

i really dislike pesos mum due to her stupid decisions she made and her frankly concerning lack of consideration for her son’s feelings. considering we never see her again. there’s no real redeeming qualities for her for me, atleast.

okay yap sesh over sorry for the wall of text i’ve been waiting to talk about this

@hers-underwraps hope you don’t mind being tagged in this you seemed like you wanted to hear abt this 🤑

ok thanks tee hee

[walks-the-ages]

I know they're mostly just shitposts but nothing pisses me off more than people reading Wicked and coming away either

A) presenting Elphaba as an abusive parent who actively hates and neglects her child

Or

B) legitimately complaining that Elphaba 'never gained any true maternal instincts to redeem her through motherhood"

And like. Guys. I think you need to reread the book again.

Elphaba is not a Perfectly Motherly Mother because she did not want or even truely comprehend that she was pregnant and gave birth to a child, being near comatose for years with severe depression, depersonalization and in general disassociating from her life in order to try to cope with the guilt and trauma of 'causing' Fiyero's death, and the realization that she'd almost taken measures that would have made her a monster in order to take out 1 horrible person, done the personal math, and realized she could never work for an organization that views children as acceptable losses for one single military target.

Elphaba does not "hate" Liir, nor is she the Perfect Mother, nor should she have to be, because she is a human being who did not want a child or even know ever for certain that Liir *was* her child, only that he had been put into her care when she left the Mauntery.

If you come away from Wicked either genuinely believing that

"Elphaba is a horrible abusive mother who hates her son"

OR that

"Elphaba is a horrible mother because she never embraced motherhood and her innate maternal instincts inherent to being a woman"

instead of

"Elphaba is specifically a flawed human being doing the best she can with what she has, who literally never wanted to be a mother and didn't even know she was one until years after she was randomly put in charge of a young child on the eve of what she intended to be a literal suicide mission"

Then Idk what to tell you except you need to read the book again and contemplate what it means to have zero control and awareness over your body and not know what has happened to you until you are randomly told to take a random young child with you on your cross-country trip and still literally not know, ever, with certainty wether or not you ever had a child with Fiyero since you have absolutely no memory of being pregnant or giving birth, or wether this child really was just one too many orphans for the mauntery to feed so he was given to you to travel with and everyone you meet assuming he's your kid just implanted that idea of "what if he is?" In your head?

[peanutheaddd]

For divine au, once Petey has left dm’s body and seen the damage possessing him has caused is he afraid that he’s accidentally killed him at first? Is he afraid that dm won’t wake up? Fellas is it gay to stay by the bedside of the man you possessed and formed a soul bond with while you wait for him to wake up? I imagine that Petey would be very protective of dm for a while after while he’s recovering and would help him tend to his injuries

ur au’s are so good Peanutheaddd they make me so crazy please don’t explode and disappear lmao

AAAAAABSOLKUUUUTTEEELYYYYYYY THANK U FOR THIS ASK YES YES YES A MIIIIOKIM TIME YES!!!!!!!!!!! ohhh my god post possession detey save me save me post possession detey

he knows abt the soul going dormant and the comatose state Yes but he has No idea if dms body can handle all the physical damage he took . and he feels So So So guilty . he is 100% terrified that hes accidentally killed him . and he has no way to tell . yes his heart is still beating but he has No idea if it will Keep beating .

in my head the possession actually ends prematurely . i think dms body Couldnt keep going . like it physically broke down and petey was like wtf happened so he left his body . so theyre lwk still in hot water when the possession ends and petey sees how fucked up he got . so its just thjs shit ass situation where lp is Still at active risk of getting taken by heaven, dm is completely out of commission and they have No idea if hell even Survive the next hour, and peteys lwk spiraling bc this is quite literally the Worst thing that could happen

its important to note here that petey actually doesnt believe that god is alive . he fully believes god has Been dead for a while . i think graces death made him completely apathetic bc he had this mindset of if god was alive then she wouldnt have died .

but its This moment . where hes terrified bc he has no idea what theyll do to his son and he has no idea if dm will live or die . that he prays for the first time in. Forever. and the Only thing hes praying for is lp and dms safety . zero regard for his own safety . and ultimately Thats what wakes god up . love that makes even the worst sinner not only Have Faith again but pray for something in an Entirely sefless manner . Oh my god im sick.IM SICK IN THE HEAD BRO

i dont have the deets yet but essentially god is the one who ends the altercation . but once it ends petey Stil has no idea if dm will live or die . basically the end of the altercation only guarantees that lp will be safe . since it only happened in the first place to try and take him away . so once the altercation ends yes hes So So So relieved lp is safe and will be safe but he cant say the same abt dm and thats freaking him out .

i think he js hauls ass to the church and gets dm to his room . and he just . sits there . doesnt rlly move . and he js keeps watching him . for however long it takes for dm to wake up again .

i actually think the church people and lp tend to him while hes in his comatose state not petey . i feel like petey wouldnt wanna touch him bc of The Guilt. like Hes the reason hes like this so how could ge even think of laying a finger on him .

i also think petey leaves before dm wakes up . like . its js this idea of like Oh theres No Way hed be happy to see me not after what i did to him . so when dm wakes up lp is there and dm is like oh thank god ur ok. bc that means the possession was successful and the altercation ended in their favor but then hes like ?? wheres ur dad . and lp is like 😬😬. bc lp knows damn well this is peteys self sabotaging behavior coming out . and he tells dm this and dm is like holy fuck is that cat stupid bc literally all he wanted after he woke up was to see his kitty cats plural 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

i reckon he gets up to try and find him (which is stupid bc he could be Literally anywhere) and peteys lit js camping outside the church where hes out of eyesight but he can still kinda keep an eye on him and js be around should anything happen .

i mentioend in a prev ask that demons can feel their vessels pain and i thinm pt gets like a body ache and hes like That cant be right. so he looks around and lo and behold he sees dm meandering about outside when he Should be resting and he Knows that hes not fully recovered yet bc he can literally feel how it hurts for him to even walk . so without rlly thinking he immediately confronts him and is like WHAT THE FUCK . GO BACK TO BED BRO and dms response to that is to hug him . and he can feel his heart beat . feel the strength in his arms. and hes like Oh my god. and the relief js completely floods his system . like Oh hes alive . hes well . hes still in one piece .

but theres still this Guilt thats making it impossible for him to let his guard down . the hug goes unreciprocated even tho its lwk all he wants to do at that moment and he goes kinda stiff bc he is So terrified of hurting him again . its so palpable dm can Sense it . all the guilt and the fear . so hes like js stay with me will u ? like damn . 😭😭😭 and at this point peteys lwk weak to him so hes like Okay . I guess .

and then i reckon its js petey awkwardly hovering around the room keeping an eye on dm like a nervous mom and dm having to gradually go pspsps to him and get him to stop being freaked out all the damn time

there is def a scene where dm insists that petey helps him with changing his bandages or smth bc hes trynna ease him back into just . remembering that dms not made of glass and remembering that hes not an inherently dangerous person . and that he fully has the capacity to be gentle . i reckon seeing the injuries kinda makes dms plan backfire bc peteys like Ohhh my god this is literally my fucking fault

seeeeemi unrelated but i think pt also starts subconsciously keeping his wings away from dm which sucks for dm bc he likes peteys wings LMFAO when hes not adrenaline pumped theyre kinda js pleasantly warm

its just this whole sich post possession where dm almost dies and petey starts seeing himself as inherently a dangerous person . even tho their relationship up until this point has been implicitly amicable But more explicitly kinda hostile and antagonistic (enemies to lovers L) dm has to kind of put that aside and be gentler w him js to remind him that he still cares abt him and that he did the right thing and that hes fine and he will be fine . so its js them kinda spending day to day w lp doing whatever . DOMESTICITY WIN!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and i think thats where my thought process ends for now . #motherfuckign awesome I LOVE MY AU

[shizunitis]

i need someone to recognise what a fucking insane idea a Queen of Tears Binggeyuan AU would be before i have to promise to write it and then disappoint everyone again. please. i need a win. need.

they meet at work and shen yuan goes all heart-eyes while telling himself the world is suddenly pink for any other reason that bingge is just so fucking cool and hot and kissable. he scores a date by complete fucking accident, and they go steady soon after and are in a relationship for 3 years before shen yuan proposes.

bingbong the fool gets engaged to shen yuan because he 1) likes him enough not to dismiss him outright and 2) was a just-expelled-from-uni golddigger with a real step-by-step on how to become a rich widower when they met. shen yuan is the pretty layabout son of a rich family who meets bingge and immediately crumples, as stated above.

(too long, so sorry)

shen yuan never had any intention of pursuing a better position in his family’s company, and so shen jiu, just-found distant cousin, feels almost zero (it’s never zero) reticence towards him. until shen yuan gets engaged to bingge and suddenly he starts showing up to work and getting promotions (their family believes in “no-nepotism” or whatever. it’s a kdrama rework, so that doesn’t exactly apply as it should, but whatever. shizun can be hired through nepotism, as a treat.) and actually giving a fuck about the family “legacy”.

bingge is left at home to grow more and more bitter and finally has enough—shen yuan is always at work, forgets anniversaries and never takes him out on dates anymore. they haven’t fucked nasty, or even fucked normally, in months. he complains to a very much annoyed mobei and finally gets the divorce papers when mobei presents the option to him. “why have i never thought of that?” (dumbass. because you never would have divorced him if it wasn’t for the drama. for the chance to marriage story all over the place.)

then shen yuan remembers, oh shit, I Do It For Him! (bingge accidentally let it slip that he likes ambitious men when they first started dating, so now shen yuan has been Trying and Overdoing It at work for some years) so he tries to get bingge smiling again by way of Woo The Asshole. they go on a trip! they go on dates! they fuck nasty again!

shen jiu orchestrates shen yuan finding out about the divorce papers, just when bingge was starting to regret ever thinking about it, and is relieved he never managed to bring it up. and shen yuan, as is right, defends binghe to shen jiu’s face and then, when shen jiu calls him an idiot and worse things and then exits stage left, finally starts crying. BAM! “shizun, are you crying?” scene in my almost-divorce binggeyuan! as everything is meant to be! as i deserve!

bingge! grovel! in a three piece suit in their penthouse! the money could never mend the tear he’d put there himself! shen yuan can never forgive himself for (almost-)fumbling bingge! pathetic, both of them!

and all that i need for this vision to become reality is to write it. which is an impediment of impressive proportions.

[vampiilure]

HII I saw you write for Kai Parker and I got so excited (the Kai lovers are starving I fear) but I also fear I’m terrible with ideas and have no idea what to request..??

So I suppose I’m asking for Kai Parker X reader authors choice!

Sorry if this is annoying ily

i took forever on this cause i didn't know what i wanted to do but it turned out fine! kai i think is a little out of character imo. (more people should write for him i love him) and don't worry it's not annoying ily :)

Chemistry

Summary: Damon ropes you into helping with a spell, but you didn't sign up for Kai Parker and his nonstop mouth- or how irritatingly attractive he is when he's not being a total menace. 

Kai Parker x fem!reader (i think) 

Genre: slow burn, flirty banter, humor

WC: 2932

The problem with Kai Parker wasn’t that he was a sociopath.

It was that he was a charming one.

You were reminded of this fact every time he opened his mouth, and unfortunately, he was doing a lot of that today.

“Do you have to pace?” you muttered from the couch, flipping another page in the grimoire you were supposed to be studying. “You're giving me secondhand anxiety.”

Kai stopped mid-step, turned with theatrical flair, and cocked his head at you. “Well, I could sit. But I'd have to sit next to you. And given how high-strung you are, I'm not sure that's a safe idea.” 

You didn't bother looking up. “Please. You’d be lucky to sit next to me.”

“Oh, believe me,” he said, strolling over anyway, “I am very aware of how lucky I am.”

He dropped down beside you with zero regard for personal space. His thigh brushed yours. On purpose.

You inched away. “I don't remember inviting you over.”

He reached for the edge of the grimoire, tugging it down so you had to meet his eyes. “You didn't. But you looked lonely. All that brainpower, no one to irritate you into using it.”

“Don't flatter yourself,” you said, dry. “I was ignoring you successfully before you sat down.”

“Lies,” he grinned. “You live for my attention.”

You rolled your eyes. “I live for the day Damon snaps your neck and leaves you in a ditch.”

Kai clutched his chest, mock-wounded. “Ouch. So violent. Do all your crushes get death threats or am I just special?”

You snapped the book shut and turned to face him. “You're not special kai. You're annoying. Like a mosquito in human form.”

“Then why haven't you swatted me yet?”

You opened your mouth, closed it, then sighed. 

“Because you'd probably enjoy it.”

He leaned in, smirking. “You're not wrong.”

You met his eyes, that signature glint of chaos dancing in his expression. His proximity ws infuriating. Not because it made you uncomfortable- but because it didn't.

His presence was magnetic in the most inconvenient way possible.

“You really have no shame,” you said, voice flat.

“Why would i?” he asked, tilting his head. “Shames just insecurity with bad PR.”

You snorted despite yourself.

He lit up. “Was that a laugh? Are you enjoying my company?”

“Don't get excited,” you said quickly. “It was a pity laugh.”

“Mm-hm,” he hummend, still grinning. “You know, the more you insult me, the more I think you like me.”

“And the more you talk,” you replied, “the more I think about setting you on fire.”

Kai leaned even closer, breath warm against your cheek. “Kinky.”

You shoved his shoulder, but he didn't move far. Just enough to flash you that irritatingly perfect smile, the one that made you want to kiss him and slap him in equal measure.

“I'm serious,” you muttered.

“About the fire?” he asked, feigning innocence. “Because if it's a slow burn, I'm all in.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling. “You're unbelievable.” 

“I've been told.”

You sighed, shook your head, and turned away- only for him to casually drape his arm across the back of the couch behind you. Not touching. Not quite. But there.

“You want me to leave?” he asked.

Yes, you should’ve said. Instead, what came out was, “only if you take your ego with you.”

“So never?” he teased.

You glanced sideways at him, caught the gleam in his eye, the hint of something sharper beneath the grin.

“I hate you,” you said

His smirk softened, just for a heartbeat, “No, you don't.”

Your jaw clenched. You turned away, eyes on the grimoire again, pretending to skim the text, but your heart was thudding too loudly in your chest to read a single word. You felt the heat of him beside you, the slow drag of his gaze across your profile. He was watching you, waiting. Not with that usual smug satisfaction he wore like cologne, but with something quieter. Hungrier.

“I should, you muttered, flipping a page just to do something with your hands. “You're arrogant. Obnoxious. Completely incapable of shutting up.”

He leaned in closer. “You forgot devastatingly handsome.”

You gave him a flat look. “I was being generous.”

Kais fingers brushed your wrist, light, barely there, but enough to send a shiver straight through you.

“And yet,” he said softly, “you haven't moved.”

You hated that he was right. Hated it even more that you didn't want to move.

“Maybe I'm just waiting for the right moment to hex you.”

He laughed under his breath, the sound low and genuine. “You know what your problem is?”

“Oh, please,” you said, crossing your arms. “Do enlighten me.”

“You want to hate me. You tell yourself you should. But you don't.”

Your pulse spiked. “You're delusional.”

He shifted, sliding his hand across the back of the couch until his fingers ghosted against your shoulder. You could smell him now, cedar, magic, something stormy and charged beneath the surface. 

“Maybe,” he said, voice lower now, more careful. “But I know what I see when you look at me. It's not just an annoyance. Or disgust. Not even close.”

You swallowed hard, throat suddenly dry.

“Don't flatter yourself,” you said again, quieter this time.

He smiled, smaller now. Not mocking. Not teasing. Just..present. Real.

“Flattery’s boring,” he said. “I’d rather tell you the truth.”

You glanced at him, really looked this time, and saw it, the way his mask had slipped just slightly. He wasn't trying to manipulate. Not this time. This was kai without the showmanship, without the deflection. Dangerous, yes. But honest.

It was unsettling. 

Worse, it was disarming.

And you hated that even more.

You shifted your posture, straightening your spine like it might somehow reestablish control. “You always talk this much, or is it just a nervous tic when someone isn't impressed by your personality?”

His lips curled. “I dont think youre unimpressed. I think you're trying really hard to be.”

You snorted. “What gave it away, the eye-roll or the deep, bone deep loathing?”

“Neither,” he said smoothly. “It's the fact that you still haven't hexed me. Which, for a self-proclaimed hater, is kind of suspicious.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but didn't. Mostly because he was right, and partially because you couldn't stop noticing how close he was again. The kind of close that made it very obvious he had no concept of boundaries. Or maybe he just didn't care. He was Kai Parker, after all. Personal space was a myth and the rules didn't apply.

He leaned in just slightly, not enough to be obvious, but enough to make your breath catch. “If you wanted me gone,” he murmured, “you wouldn't still be sitting here playing spellbook footsie with me.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “I am not-”

He nudged your ankle with his under the table.

“You just did it again,” he said innocently.

You glared. “You're insufferable.”

He grinned. “Yet here we are. Suffering together.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You know, there are probably potions that could fix your personality.”

“And yet,” he said, tapping the grimoire in your lap, “you're not brewing any.”

You tilted your head. “Maybe I'm saving them for something worse.”

“Worse than me?” he gave you an exaggerated look of disbelief. “What could possibly be worse than me?”

“You with a megaphone.”

He laughed. Actually laughed. It was a sound that scraped under your skin in a way you weren't prepared for. Too genuine. Too easy.

You hate that he could do that, disarm you, rile you up, get under your skin like some spell you didn't remember casting.

“Admit it,” he said, voice low, almost sing-song. “You like me. A little.”

“I like you the way people like thunderstorms,” you shot back. “Exciting from far away. Catastrophic up close.”

He let out a low whistle. “Damn. That was poetic. Almost turned me on.”

You rolled your eyes again, sharper this time. “Do you ever stop?”

He pretended to think about it. “Nope. But you like that about me.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” you said, but your voice didn't have the bite it shouldve.

Because somewhere in the middle of all the sarcasm, the distance had strunk again. His knee was brushing yours. His hand, casually thrown across the back of the couch, was just barley behind your shoulders. Like he might let it drop, or maybe he wouldn't. Like he knew exactly what kind of game he was playing.

And damn it, you were playing it too.

Which only made you more irritated.

You leaned just slightly away, breaking the proximity like it was no big deal, even though your heart was thudding like you'd just sprinted through a spell. “You always this handsy, or am I just special?”

He didn't miss a beat. “You're definitely special. Most people would’ve stormed off by now. But not you. You're just sitting there, soaking in my presence like its sunlight.”

“More like a migraine,” you muttered.

He gave a dramatic sigh and rested his chin on his hand studying you. “You’re like the mean girl I never got to have a crush on in high school.”

You raised a brow. “Let me guess- you were too busy stabbing classmates with pencils and emotionally scarring your siblings?”

He made a face. “Wow. You have been reading my file.”

“I skimmed it,” you said casually. “Right between ‘homicidal tendencies’ and ‘chronic inability to shut up.’”

His mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “And here you are, trading insults with me instead of helping Damon with the ritual prep. Almost like you'd rather be here.”

“Don't flatter yourself again. Damon asked me to babysit you.”

“Mm. And what an excellent job you're doing.” his gaze dropped to your lips for a fraction of a second, so quick you almost missed it. Almost. “You've only threatened my life three times today. That's practically foreplay.” 

You shot him a glare, but your pulse betrayed you. He was annoying. Infuriating. He poked at your nerves like a kid with a stick and zero self-preservation instincts.

But he also had that maddening glint in his eye, the one that said he saw through your carefully sharpened sarcasm like it was glass.

You shifted again, closing the grimoire and setting it aside with a snap. “If you think this is foreplay, your standards are worse than your haircut.”

He scoffed, flicking a hand through his perfectly tousled hair. “Low blow. You wound me.”

“Not yet,” you muttered, stretching your legs out. One accidentally brushed his. You didn't move.

He noticed. His smirk deepened. “Careful, sweetheart. You keep doing that, I'm gonna think you want me to flirt with you.”

You scoffed. “If I wanted you to flirt with me, I'd be unconscious.” 

He leaned in, just slightly. “Weird. Because your body language is giving mixed signals.”

“You're imagining things.” 

“You're imagining me.” his grin was all teeth now, the kind that said he knew he was getting under your skin. “And don't bother denying it. I've seen the way you stare when you think I'm not looking.”

You raised an unimpressed brow. “Trust me, if I were fantasizing about you, it'd be in the context of punching you in the face.”

He grinned wider. “Kinky.” 

You groaned and stood, needing space. “You know, I came here to help with the prison world spell, not participate in whatever twisted flirting olympics you think this is.”

He followed suit, standing far to close again. “You say that, but I noticed you haven't left.”

You turned around slowly, giving him the kind of look that could curdle milk. “That's because Damon said, and i quote, ‘Don't let Kai kill anyone or monologue for more than two minutes.’”

He raised a hand, mock-solemn. “I've been mostly good.”

“Mostly isn't reassuring when your idea of ‘good’ includes setting things on fire for dramatic effect.”

“Hey,” he said, voice light, “magics supposed to be fun. You're just mad because I'm better at it.”

You spun around to face him, crossing your arms. “You're not better at it. You're just louder.”

He grinned again, taking one step closer, voice dropping just slightly. “Loud gets results, baby.”

You stared him down, not flinching, not stepping back. The air between you crackled, not with magic this time, but something far more inconvenient.

Tension.

Unspoken and unacknowledged and absolutely there. 

“Careful,” you said, your voice soft and sharp all at once. “Keep talking like that and I might forget how much I want to throw you into the nearest wall.”

He tilted his head. “And I might forget how much I like watching you pretend you don't enjoy this.”

Your smile was slow and hesitant. “Enjoy what?”

He leaned in, close, but not close enough to touch. “Me.” 

You held his gaze a second too long. Then, with an airy little shrug, you turned and walked past him, deliberately brushing his shoulder.

“Keep dreaming, Parker.” you called over your shoulder, striding toward the back room where the older grimoires were kept, half to actually grab one and half to get some distance before your mouth said something your brain couldn't recover from.

Behind you, you heard Kai chuckle softly. Then footsteps.

Of course he was following.

“Not dreaming,” he called. “Manifesting.”

You rolled your eyes but didn't turn around. “Manifesting what, exactly? A restraining order?”

“I was thinking more like a mutual confession of irresistible sexual tension, followed by a spontaneous make-out sesh, but hey, same vibe.”

You reached the library alcove and ran your fingers along the spines of the older tomes. “You need help,” you muttered.

“I need therapy,” he said, suddenly much closer, “but you'll do in a pinch.”

You turned, ready to deliver another cutting remark, but he was right there. No space. No warning. Just Kai, all sharp smirk and charged air and too blue eyes that didn't look so amused now.

“Back off, Parker,” you said, but it didn't come out as firm as you wanted.

“I would,” he murmured, “but I don't really feel like it.”

You took a step back. Bad move.

You hit the bookcase behind you with a dull thud and kai stepped forward in perfect sync, closing the gap. One hand braced casually above your shoulder. The other hovered just slightly at your side, like he was debating whether or not to touch you. His eyes flicked over your face, hungry but still playing the game.

Your breath caught, and not just from the proximity.

“You’re in my space.” you said, voice tight.

He tilted his head. “You came in here. I just followed.”

“To get away from you.”

He smiled. “And yet here we are.”

Your heart pounding. Every nerve buzzed, alight and off balance. You were toeing the edge of something reckless, and he was loving it.

“You really think you can just back me into a wall and I'll fall at your feet?” you asked, trying to sound unimpressed. You didn't quite nail it.

He leaned in, his lips ghosting close to your jaw, breath warm. “No,” he whispered. “I think you’ll fight it. Hate it. And then you’ll kiss me like it's the worst decision you’ve ever made.”

Your fingers curled into the edge of the shelf behind you, knuckles white. He wasn't touching you, not yet, but your body was already betraying you, leaning slightly forward, eyes flicking to his lips before you could stop yourself.

He noticed.

His smirk faded. Just a fraction.

Then, like gravity finally caught up to both of you, it happened.

You kissed him.

Or maybe he kissed you.

It was hard to tell who moved first, one second there was space, the next it was gone, mouths colliding with a mix of heat and defiance. Your hands shoved at his chest, like you meant to push him away, but your fingers twisted in his shirt instead. His hands found your waist, one sliding up your spine, the other gripping your hip like he couldn't stand the idea of letting go. 

You gasped as your back hit the shelf harder than intended, and a cascade of dusty books tumbled around you, hitting the floor in a clatter, but neither of you flinched.

He groaned against your mouth, the sound low and almost dangerous. “Told you,” he murmured, lips brushing yours between kisses, “worst decision ever.”

“Shut up.” you breathed, pulling him back in, teeth catching his bottom lip before he deepened it again, hotter now, less playful, more desperate.

His tongue slid against yours with infuriating skill, like he'd  been imagining this as long as you had. Maybe longer. He kissed like he fought, unapologetic, clever, a little unhinged, and it made your knees weak.

You broke apart for air, panting. His forehead dropped against yours. Neither of you spoke for a second.

“I still hate you.” you whispered.

His smile was smug, breathless. “Yeah? Hate me harder.”

You shoved him back by the chest, not hard enough to mean it. “Pick up the damn books, Parker.”

He laughed, low and wrecked. “Fine. But only because watching you bend over might kill me.”

You rolled your eyes and tried not to smile.

You failed.

[komaedas-fragments]

Sheltered…

[Komaeda’s eyebrows furrow, only more annoyed by this assumption, taking it as pretty insensitive.]

How annoying, you’ve spoken to four of us and you still know nothing about our lives it seems…if you did, your statement makes absolutely zero sense. I understand more than anyone that I’m only worthy of whatever insults you care to throw, but I hardly see how sheltered fits the bill.

You truly have no idea what my life has been like, and you claim to know who I am, you have no right to make that assumption.

[Komaeda turns away, waving his hand with an irritated expression on his face, clearly directing her to leave.]

Please leave me be if you have nothing more to say. I’ve had enough.

You look like you were fucked up pretty good, Nagito. By the way, sorry I wasn't around much, personal issue in my timeline.

- BC

…

You don’t say…

I didn’t exactly expect you to be around, or anyone else for that matter. The fact that Hinata and Nanami came with was entirely unplanned…

[sunderwight]

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by a rare wife plot.

And it actually is a rare one because Airplane didn't even write this one down! He toyed with the idea before ultimately dismissing it as being too controversial for the tastes of his readers, and adapting only a few of the same elements for a subsequent chapter of PIDW.

But apparently the System can pull inspiration even from the author's thoughts, especially when there's nothing to contradict the concept and even a few threads of it still to be found in the original, and somehow Shen Qingqiu runs afoul of this previously-unwritten plot bunny.

The core concept was a cuck scenario, of all things. One of the Luo Binghe's wives gets afflicted by a poison that can only be cured by dual cultivation, but specifically can't be cured by by dual cultivation with anyone who has mastery over demonic qi. Something something conflicting energies, something bullshit something. Peerless Cucumber would have ripped the chapter to shreds if it had actually made it to publication, not just for the insult of implying that Luo Binghe should let one of his wives sleep with someone else, but also because why would Luo Binghe -- able to use both kinds of cultivation -- somehow not be able to keep his demonic energies from influencing the situation just in this one case?

Well it turns out that in his specific case it's because sex gets him too worked up to keep things strictly separate, and the degree of control required to treat the affliction whilst dual cultivating is extensive enough that even a little slip-up would be fatal.

Of course, in the actual chapter of PIDW, this same plot device was altered and used to create a harem orgy where Luo Binghe oversaw several of his wives "treating" one another's "afflictions", but Shen Qingqiu just had to go and get a fatal of dose of the more severe version (he didn't realize the risk, because again, this version didn't even make it into the novel).

Anyway, of course this ends up with Shen Qingqiu trying to figure out another way to cheat death, while Luo Binghe goes through the five stages of grief before accepting that he's just going to have to let someone else fuck his husband. This leads to an argument because of course Shen Qingqiu's not going to cheat on Luo Binghe, and he's especially not going to force one of his martial siblings to sleep with him, come on now, and Luo Binghe trying not to cry tears of blood while bringing himself to explain that a fair few of Shen Qingqiu's sect siblings would be happy volunteers for this task.

Shen Qingqiu's just like, well of course you think that, for some bizarre reason you think everyone wants to sleep with me. Bias is what it is. Really it's flattering Binghe but obviously every other person we know is straight, that's just statistics, and everyone in the entire cultivation world knows that Qi Qingqi would sooner chew glass than have sex with a man!

Luo Binghe, weeping now: Shizun please. This is serious. I need you speak words that make sense in the order you're saying them.

They argue, they reach an impasse, the clock is ticking. So Luo Binghe reluctantly turns to the most reliable source of information (outside of himself) on Manipulating Shen Qingqiu to Do Things That Are in His Own Best Interests -- Shang Qinghua.

At first Shang Qinghua is like, well I'm flattered Junshang but I don't think I could shoulder the baggage of fucking Cucumber-bro for you. But then Luo Binghe is like no I need someone who is way hotter and more capable than you, if Shizun is going to fuck someone else at my behest they're going to be TOP TIER so that when I fuck him better afterwards he's really impressed with me. Liu Qingge, obviously.

Not Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua asks? (He'd take the insult a little more personally but honestly he's just relieved that he's not being asked to navigate this social minefield.)

No, Luo Binghe says. He's not 100% sure he could beat Yue Qingyuan in a fight even to this day, which in his mind also translates to not being 100% sure he could do sex better than him either, so Yue Qingyuan is an emergency last resort. He's way more likely to cry on Shizun too and Shen Qingqiu is into that shit, it's too risky.

Alright, says Shang Qinghua, and he thinks about it, and then he comes up with the beautifully simple solution:

Luo Binghe has to fuck Liu Qingge first.

Because of course the crux of the issue is that even with permission, Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to cheat on Luo Binghe. But in the twisted annals of his mind, Luo Binghe himself is still entitled to a harem, even if Luo Binghe is also happily monogamous in this life. So if he shacks up with Liu Qingge first then Liu Qingge essentially joins Luo Binghe's harem, at which point if Shen Qingqiu sleeps with him it's not an affair, it's the gay version of those fanservice-y 3P scenes that the wives in PIDW did. Shang Qinghua translates the concept as best as he can to Luo Binghe, who -- though slightly dubious -- must accept that so far Shang Qinghua's wisdom hasn't steered him wrong with regards to his shizun's eccentricities.

Luo Binghe's mission: seduce Liu Qingge, or at least convince him to have sex, or possibly to lie and (convincingly!) tell Shen Qingqiu that they had sex. That last one is the longest shot so he's probably going to have to just fuck him (Luo Binghe still underestimates how willing his husband is to believe that just about anyone would have sex with him).

Shang Qinghua's mission: convince Shen Qingqiu that he owes his husband steamy threeway gay sex or something so that this plan he pulled out of his ass doesn't backfire and get him killed.

[wyzzze]

"Gooner game" To You.

It's all about traumatized people with ptsd staying alive in a world that rejected them coming together and finding meaning beyond death and living in the moment learning to appreciate how wonderful it is that despite everything they're all still alive at the same time and can share a couch and snacks watching a movie that takes them away from their day to day lives for a moment and reminds them what the world and normalcy looked like before all of this and regardless of how different it was, people were still going through the same hardships they're facing now and how comforting it is to know that there's more beyond the pain in the story on the screen. Wrapped up in a found family package.

ZZZ is about that. To Me.

[julesdavis]

"i love the whole 'met at work' story as much as the next person, but i think he actually has a thing for one of my co-workers," she explained the situation even though she wasn't sure, but he always seemed to show up whenever she was on shift with them, "or maybe it's the whole 'oh my god you're a real person that actually has a life outside of your work place'. that happens a lot to be honest."

"maybe he goes there so often because he has a thing for you." lou points out with the shrug of their shoulders, "so i take that as you're not interested?"

[bixels]

What did/do you like about Pharah?

Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.

Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).

But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.

There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.

Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.

[fatedroses]

Zenos viator Galvus and him trying to deal with actually feeling things for once (Even if he doesn't really understand how to handle the comfort he receives from others for it)

I am also giving this man a dad that actually cares, because this brainworm have gotten me and there is no saving me from them.

[kelpermoosee]

Knocking them over and watching them scramble to get up with those big ass heads

[mortellanarts]

Hmm... Akane witch design courtesy of Umineko brainrot anyone? 😳

[pirkos-dumblooking-blog]

Hello humanity, I am here to drop a doodle I made because of how bored I was in class

Eijiro Kirishima doodle :)