#i have way more but a handful of them have been inactive atm ;-;

[verspia]

Hi!! I would like to request a Kenan × jealous reader. The story can be however you like with whatever genre as long as they have a happy ending <333

THE BOY IS MINE • KENAN YILDIZ

( pairing ) kenan yıldız x reader

i’m so sorry i’ve been pretty inactive recently but college has been rlly busy atm! i’ll get to all your requests and write them as soon as i can!

this is literally the perfect request because i’ve been listening to the boy is mine nonstop and it fits the vibe yk?

If there’s one thing about you that’s commonly broadcast, it’s that you are the jealous type. Not jealous in the sense that you envy what others have, but rather it drives you up the wall when something that is yours is toyed with by another person.

The more accurate term would be possessive, and there’s no denying that you tend to get… territorial when it comes to Kenan.

Truly you can’t be faulted for your avaricious behaviour because Kenan is the sort of individual that can’t help but draw everyone’s eyes to him, and along with it, the desire of a plethora of girls.

It fuels you with an ugly sort of pride that you have what other girls can only dream off, a sharp glint of emotion that is slightly cruel and substantially domineering.

Another part of you feels enraged at the thought of anyone else besides you thinking of Kenan in ways that only you, in your opinion, should be capable of.

It’s not that you aren’t secure in your relationship, rather Kenan makes you feel as if you’re the only girl in the world. He goes out of his way to make you feel special, cherished even, and there’s more than enough clarity that proves, to Kenan, you are the only girl in the universe.

He always has you on his mind, in interviews he manages to mention you in some way or another, and even his celebrations are often dedicated to you. His online persona itself shows this, with you being the only girl in his following, and him being the first to comment and like your posts. Although you two aren’t very public, he has managed to get the point across that he’s yours, and some even say that he seems to orbit around you.

Nonetheless, there are consequences that happen when you’re in a relationship with a famous footballer who’s not only massively talented but also incredibly handsome.

This means that more often than not, some girl will be deluded enough to think she can rub her grubby hands on your boyfriend and blink her abnormally large eyelashes at him and have him wrapped around her nasty little finger.

You’re being harsh, but the green monster inside of you called envy is vicious, and well, Kenan is yours.

You watch with thinly veiled rage as the supposed interviewer brushes Kenan’s arms for the umpteenth time, giggling as she shuffles closer to him, and the next action makes your blood boil, pressing herself on to him.

It’s clear to anyone, in fact even a blind man would be able to tell that your boyfriend is uncomfortable. Kenan’s face is contorted into a permanent grimace that this interviewer seems oblivious to, and from where you’re seated, you can tell that even the camera man has grown to notice the awkwardness that permeates him.

Yet no one does anything, and you feel yourself begin to frown, you can’t help but think, “Is this not workplace harassment?”

Her movements carry a subtle confidence that makes you scoff, but it is evident that she’s clearly unbothered by the lackluster response from Kenan, and seems to show no intention of backing off despite the younger man’s obvious discomfort.

You remain seated, even though you desperately want to run up across the field and rip that interviewer into shreds.

You don’t want to cause a scene, but your patience snaps when she brushes away a strand of hair on Kenan’s face, who’s grimace has now turned into a scowl. Her gaze on him is predatory and you know if it was directed at you from a man, it would make you shiver in disgust.

You stand up, marching down the bleachers and across the freshly cut grass with determination, having had enough of this absurd behaviour.

As you make your way to them, the interviewer makes eye contact with you and you notice a glimmer of smugness flash behind her eyes, but underneath it, her expression bubbles with an annoyance that infuriates you.

Her intentions are clearly anything but innocent but the smile she flashes your way seems to mimic it with expertise. It’s so evidently fake, the sweetness on her face is overpowering and a far cry from the sultry tone she’s had the entirety of this interview, from what you’ve observed.

You have never felt more inclined to slap a person than now, but you keep yourself in check, if this girls wants to get bitchy? Well, you’ll show her bitchy.

Kenan’s expression, on the other hand, brightens at your presence, but his eyes widen a little when he spots the aggression behind in your eyes. The smile on your face is as ingenuine as it gets but before he can say anything to appease you the interviewer opens her mouth.

“Hey… We were just talking about you.” Her voice floats out and it drips with sugar, in a way that makes you want to vomit, your ears cringe as if you’re hearing nails on a chalkboard.

“Oh were you now?”

“Yeah I was just telling Kenan how nice it must be to have a girlfriend who doesn’t seem to care about what the public thinks!”

The backhanded compliment is abrupt and strange, and you’re confused, is that really the best she could come up with?

You almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

One moment this girl is boldly rubbing herself on your boyfriend and the best she can say to you is this?

You’re about to retaliate with a response but then smirk as an idea crosses your mind.

You don’t leave Kenan even a moment to blink or process the situation, even the interviewer and the Camera Man are stunned, as well as the millions of viewers watching the live stream.

Your hand reaches out to grab the collar of Kenan’s jersey, your actions reckless and abrupt, as you grab him closer and pull his head down to yours.

A gasp escapes his mouth as he stumbles a little, surprised and taken aback at your actions, but responds in kind when your lips meet his.

Kenan’s reaction makes it seem like he forgets the events that lead to this moment entirely, melting into you as you cradle his head.

It seems as if you two are lost in another world, just the two of you as everything around begins to blur. You press closer to Kenan, softly kissing him as he responds to your actions just as gently, both of you exhibiting emotion that spells love.

You move your mouth against his, trying to show your adoration to the man in front of you, forgetting the purpose of your actions in the first place as you feel his arms wrap around you.

You begin to lose yourself in his touch, his kisses have your mind feeling hazy and stars cloud your eyes as you sigh into the kiss.

Your whole form begins to turn into puddle, and your mind only seems to echo the singular thought that crosses your mind primary when he’s touching you.

Kenan. Kenan. Kenan. Kenan. Kenan. Kenan.

Like a mantra.

All you can focus on his touch, his hands, his lips, only him.

The same effect seems to reflect on him, as Kenan seems equally as dazed, kissing you fervently like a starved man, as if you’re the first drop of water in an isolated desert.

Kenan drinks you up eagerly, holding you tightly.

You only break apart at the purposeful cough from the interviewer, and you realise where you are.

It takes you a moment to gather yourself and remember what your original motives were, and then a smirk graces your swollen lips.

“Is that right Kenan? Your girlfriend doesn’t care about the public eye” Your voice is smug and sarcastic, filled with pride and the interviewer seems embarrassed, put off by your very public display of affection and the clear response to her supposed insult.

It’s comical to see the snobbish expression on her face be replaced by a look of mortification.

“Huh” is the only reply he offers, and you can only smile at the boy who still seems to be processing the aftermath of your very steamy kiss.

His cheeks are flushed red and his hair is tousled. The look on his face extinguishes all your previous agitation at the moment the interviewer had touched it.

You beam at him, and it’s more than clear to perhaps the whole world now that Kenan is yours, and only you can make him feel and look like this.

You turn back to the interviewer, “Oh! I must’ve gotten distracted, I just came here to say… wait! what’s your name? oh nevermind, I just wanted to say I admire your confidence, walking around like that! Now is the interview done? I’d like to… speak to my boyfriend about something private.”

The interviewer looks even more flustered than you’d have thought possible, and if you were a nicer person, you’d have felt the tiniest bit of sympathy, or atleast pity, for her, but all you feel is a surge of self satisfaction as you watch her mutter something about wrapping up and squaddle away from the two of you.

Once she’s finally disappeared from your sight, you turn to Kenan, who still seems a little astonished, and you can’t help the fondness in your eyes as you run your eyes over him.

He catches the look and his cheeks grow warmer, but he reaches out to cradle your hand, concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

Confusion rises in your eyes as you look at him, “Me? I should be asking you that, someone from a mile away could tell how uncomfortable she made you.”

Kenan shook his head, “Don’t worry about me, I can handle myself, I’m a big boy you know” His voice is teasing and you chuckle at him.

“Seriously though, she just wouldn’t take a hint and I didn’t want to be impolite.”

You shake your head at him, tugging his hand a little as the both of you begin to walk out, “I could tell, but I guess we gave her a little show”

Kenan smiled at you, pulling you close as one of his arms comes to rest at your waist.

“Oh you gave her a show alright,” He whispers affectionately, “But i’m glad you did, I don’t mind letting the world know i’m yours.”

You can’t help but blush at his words, your heart flutters wildly in your chest and it’s insane how despite being together for so long, Kenan still has this effect on you.

“Mhm I don’t mind either” Your voice takes on a coquettish edge, as you lean over, your face only inches away from his.

Kenan’s hands wrap around your hips as he grins at you.

“Trust me I know.”

“I should just post a picture of you and I and caption it the boy is mine.”

liked by kenanyildiz_official and others

ynusername - the boy is mine.

comments

kenanyildiz_official - only yours 🤍

user09 - that kiss on live television wasn’t enough girl

↪️ user86 - nah she’s letting yall know that’s HER man

user12 - nah tbf i would’ve done the same if my bf looked like that

user3 - yooo we get it bro

user96 - the second slide??? bro calm down ain’t nobody gonna take her from you

user916 - plss you ended that interviewer with the “what’s your name”

↪️ user1 - lmaooo i would never show my face again

↪️ user123 - i just know she’s crying seeing this post

user - WHATS 4 + 4

user22 - damn.

user0 - yall need a third? pls pls pls 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

fin.

[vanmarkus]

Weekend Wip Game ✨

I was tagged by the lovely @daffi-990 thank you mwuah 😘

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

(I cut it off halfway cuz I went long like always...)

1. WIP List:

so as you know my wip list is pretty long, but the active ones right now are:

• the mudslide fic

• the jealous eddie fic

• the breeding kink fic

• the accident fic

• the donation smut

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

the mudslide fic is currently standing at 38.6k and I expect at the very least 20k more... which wouldn't just make it my longest current wip, but also the longest fic I've ever written

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

the mudslide fic hands down, unless something drastic happens and one of my wips gets away from me (though from the inactive wips I expect two of them to be around the same length, possibly)

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I enjoy all of them, but the mudslide fic is surprisingly joyous to write, even though it's mostly just me putting the boys through the emotional and physical wringer lmao

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

listen. I love writing the mudslide fic, but I kinda wrote myself into a hole with it, in the sense that I included a couple of real life locations (though only vaguely) that I just had to make shit up for, which is fine cuz the show does the same, but... idk it's long and the boys spend quite a large chunk of the story separate and it makes me worry that people will find it boring or just idk will be nitpicky about it... like, I have confidence in my writing, but I'm also forever insecure about it??? ugh

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

uhhh I guess the accident fic?? because it's short and it's kind of written in the way I usually write ficlets, which means I don't spiral about the details that much and now I'm worried that it's gonna seem rushed or way too out of sorts 😓

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

none of them, I'm very much a fuck it we ball type of writer

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer’s block?

yeppppp. that's why I have so many active wips atm cuz I got stuck on both of my main ones 🥲

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

the mudslide fic – and she's barely even in it, but she grew on me anyway 💛

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

I have to say the donation smut... or the breeding kink fic, whichever floats your boat I guess

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

the mudslide fic, definitely

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I'm not sure??? like, I try my best in all of them, but I can't necessarily say if I succeeded idk

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

again, I'm probably gonna have to go with the mudslide fic

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

👆 I've been doing quite a lot of research going into legal procedures, sixth grade curriculum and body decomposition in water, just to name a few (and most of these barely feature btw 🥲), not to mention looking at the map of LA constantly to gauge distances, but it's still kinda fun though

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

uhmmm I don't have high expectations for any of them, if we're talking about like, comments and kudos and stuff... usually the fics I just write in a moment of inspiration and just throw online get more attention than the ones I try to finetune for hours/days/weeks, so you know... I try to write fics for myself and hope that there are people they resonate with 🫶

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

listen, I have really hectic and weird dreams, but I don't think I ever dreamed about any of my wips

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don’t?

well, if nothing else, operating with this many characters is something I'm not exactly used to, so the mudslide fic and the jealous eddie fic are kinda unique in that regard, I suppose

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I'm not... exactly big on writing goofy stuff, which is unfortunate because I love reading it, but I mean it a 100% when I say angst and smut is my bread and butter

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

not a very deep dive, but I do touch on a side character's background in the mudslide fic, no outside povs though

20. Tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your WIPs

idk?? uhh it's not an active wip, but all I could think about is that Homesick For Your Skin isn't my first parallel universe fic, but it's the first one I had to work out without magic 🪄

I'm sure most of you have already done this, but here are five no pressure tags anyway:

@forthewolves @jesuisici33 @callaplums @ladydorian05 @disasterbuckdiaz

[cicada-candy]

screams im Certainly Awake Now asfdkgldlf

FUCK YEAH PUNCHIN' DEMONSSSS

"He readjusts his (the jaeger’s) grip on the deep gash in the demon’s hide and punches it again, and again. He’s fairly sure his eardrums will never be the same again from the deafening scream it makes when The Charger’s (his) fist connects with it’s ugly snout."

OHOHOHO WHAT A WAY TO OPEN AHSKDSSF

I sense an impending identity crisis in this kids future and i am Very Here For It.

"He’s looking at his dad – he knows it’s him in the other console, even with the helmet covering his face – and barks pull left, now!"

*muffled screaming*

“All systems functional. Minor damage to the right hand—” he bites down on ‘from all the damn punching’. His voice is all wrong, like he’s trying to put on an accent.

again. no notes just screaming.

"Oh yeah it’s dead. He doesn’t feel the intense satisfaction radiating from that sentence, but when he glances to the second console, it’s still just empty rigging. Give it a rest, would you?

Robbie must be going insane.

Well, what else is new."

oh hes Going Through it atm asjldlslkfgjd;o

"There’s a soft click in his comm link, then static. Good enough. He reaches to pluck it out of his ear, then turns to look at the second console – empty.

“What,” he asks, feeling faintly ridiculous, “the fuck was that.”"

finally realising that The Voice isnt. His Voice. im surprised hes keeping his shit broadly together at all ahjsdkah;

"Silence. He’s tempted to pull his helmet back on, to get back into the drift and dig into one of those flash-and-gone memories that can’t possibly be his. There is no way to hide that from mission control, though, and you can’t risk them knowing you’re losing the plot."

Hey Wazzappp :))))) Do You Have A Second Chainsaw? :))))))))

"There. If he pays attention – and he’s definitely paying attention now, even though every bone in his body feels like it’s on fire – it’s not him. Thorough the fight, he’s been more and more aware of it with every decision he made just before he had any way of knowing it was an option. The chain – he knew about the chain, he saw it’s containment unit on The Charger’s blueprints, he saw it in the old footage from when his dad was piloting – but he didn’t practice with it."

oops seems you cant Deny Deny Deny ur way outta this one kid ":]

"Maybe you have superpowers.

What are you?

Does it matter? We saved the day together."

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE >:Dc

"I don’t know how to fight like the rangers do. I don’t know how to account for water currents when charging at a fucking demon. You’ve been training day and night for weeks. Not enough! I shouldn’t know any of these things! I shouldn’t remember what dad looked like when he was drafted!"

YES oh my god youre so close, the Box Under The Floor Is Right There you just gotta poke it a little

"How do you– I am you. He barely saw Gabe for a year. And here they have a whole place set up for kids like him. They don’t need you to take him off their hands. They barely need you to be doing this. Show one crack, see how long until they find a less… troublesome test subject."

Hey Wazzappp :))))) Do You Have A Second Chainsaw? :))))))))

also Uh Oh Spaghetti-Os The Drift Works Both Ways.

"Robbie stares at the status displays for a long moment. Drift inactive, it says. He reaches for his comm link."

“Cho?” It takes a moment before his ping gets an acknowledgement. “I changed my mind. Get me out of here.”

I MEAN. YEAH FAIR.

i wanna punch eli in his stupid shit-eating grin so bad. which i imagine is The Point lmao

(both this and previous chaper on AO3 - we're getting into some of Eli's less charming personality traits here, so, yknow. Proceed at own risk.)

Ghost Rider Pacific Rim AU - internal monologue

It’s T plus twenty one and Robbie never wants to pilot a jaeger again.

He readjusts his (the jaeger’s) grip on the deep gash in the demon’s hide and punches it again, and again. He’s fairly sure his eardrums will never be the same again from the deafening scream it makes when The Charger’s (his) fist connects with it’s ugly snout. Logically, he knows the spray of corruption hitting the outer hull isn’t actually touching him, that it’s being immediately washed away by the ocean waves, but if it was up to him he’d be dropping the beast and backing away as quickly as he’s capable of.

Oh, get over yourself. He pulls his arm back, The Charger following suit less than a thought later, and throws the length of the chain that serves as The Charger’s primary melee weapon over the demon’s head. It wraps around its thick neck and Robbie has to dig The Charger’s feet into the ocean floor not to be dragged along when it bucks. This is the fun part!

He’s not having fun. He was supposed to be taking pot-shots at the beasties swimming ahead of the demon. He wasn’t supposed to even see actual combat. Captain Danvers told him to stay back. What the hell is wrong with him? Can you not just enjoy something for five goddamn minutes? Focus, it’s going for a bite—

Razorback roars and swerves left. It's not a conscious decision to raise his arm and bring the jaeger’s elbow down on its flat head, but the resounding crack feels extremely satisfying. Coyote Tango is right there to take over, grabbing the demon’s tail to fling it deeper into the ocean, the chain going taunt in his hands.

“Charger, stand clear,” he hears. Clear of what? Fuck that, you’ve got it. Reel it back! “Charger, move before you get hit!”

Robbie drops the chain in panic – move where? Before he can even begin figuring out the display screens, he’s already moving, pulled along in a wave of the grey-blue memory. He’s looking at his dad – he knows it’s him in the other console, even with the helmet covering his face – and barks pull left, now! The jaeger trips, its shoulder hitting the water before he manages – just – to right it. He has no idea what’s the protocol for collecting a jaeger from underwater, and by this point LOCCENT might just leave him there.

He did dodge a laser beam from Romeo Blue’s reactor cannon by a hair though. It hits Razorback directly in its open maw, its black blood spilling into the ocean like an oil slick. Show-stealers.

Fuck you, he thinks to himself. You’re not a hero, you don’t know what you’re doing and you shouldn’t. Be. Here.

Hey, the demon came at us! If the heroes were doing their job—

There it is. He can feel something shift in the drift, like a pebble in his boot rolling somewhere he can’t ignore it. It’s so much harder to chalk it up to exhaustion when he’s one hundred percent, absolutely sure that if he turned his head to look, he would see someone else in the empty console on his right.

Now that’s crazy talk. Go on, look. No one’s there.

I know!

“Charger, status report.”

He looks up from the water; Eden Assassin is grappling the demon in its dying throes, Coyote Tango reading to deliver the final blow. “Uh.” His eyes move to the status display of their own volition. If he can read it, can’t they? They’re checking you haven’t fried your brain, dumbass. Haven’t I? “All systems functional. Minor damage to the right hand—” he bites down on ‘from all the damn punching’. His voice is all wrong, like he’s trying to put on an accent.

There’s some crackling on the other end of the comm, as if the hardware itself could tell he was about to make a terrible joke. “Copy that. Try to find that chain before it winds up on a beach somewhere, huh?”

Razorback’s head sinks under the surface of the ocean. Is it dead? Oh God, it’s dead. Please be dead. Coyote Tango grabs it by the spike on the back of its head – it must be dead.

Oh yeah it’s dead. He doesn’t feel the intense satisfaction radiating from that sentence, but when he glances to the second console, it’s still just empty rigging. Give it a rest, would you?

Robbie must be going insane.

Well, what else is new.

It’s T plus twenty four, or rather T minus however long until the next predicted arrival.

Most rangers go up into the helicopters for extraction – with the drift shut down after the fight, nobody wants to spend six hours flying back to Hong Kong when a military aircraft can take you there in two – but Robbie decided to stay put.

“I can come down if you need help detaching,” Cho offers. Robbie didn’t realise until then he came along rather than staying behind on LOCCENT bridge.

“It’s fine,” he says after a moment to make sure it’s him speaking. Really? “Can you, uh, mute me?”

“Ah,” there is a pause. “Look, if you need to freak out—”

“Can you mute me or not?”

“Sure, sure. I’ll be back in half an hour to check on you, though.”

You don’t actually believe he won’t listen.

There’s a soft click in his comm link, then static. Good enough. He reaches to pluck it out of his ear, then turns to look at the second console – empty.

“What,” he asks, feeling faintly ridiculous, “the fuck was that.”

Silence. He’s tempted to pull his helmet back on, to get back into the drift and dig into one of those flash-and-gone memories that can’t possibly be his. There is no way to hide that from mission control, though, and you can’t risk them knowing you’re losing the plot.

There. If he pays attention – and he’s definitely paying attention now, even though every bone in his body feels like it’s on fire – it’s not him. Thorough the fight, he’s been more and more aware of it with every decision he made just before he had any way of knowing it was an option. The chain – he knew about the chain, he saw it’s containment unit on The Charger’s blueprints, he saw it in the old footage from when his dad was piloting – but he didn’t practice with it. Brooks was going to pull out some ropes in training after his first run. There is a perfectly functional extendable staff in the jaeger’s arm he was supposed to have used instead.

Maybe you have superpowers.

What are you?

Does it matter? We saved the day together.

Robbie remembers every questionnaire he’d filled out over the weeks. Do you, or have you in the past, heard someone speak despite being alone in the room? Something cold spills inside his stomach.

You’re jumping to conclusions. You’ve heard the doc, your brain drifts a little, that’s all.

I don’t know how to fight like the rangers do. I don’t know how to account for water currents when charging at a fucking demon. You’ve been training day and night for weeks. Not enough! I shouldn’t know any of these things! I shouldn’t remember what dad looked like when he was drafted!

No response. He concentrates on the sliver of presence he’s been feeling, but it’s like looking at one of those optical illusion pictures – the harder he tries, the less sense it makes.

He needs to– there must be someone he could ask. The head tech, Canelo, he said he was around ten years ago. And Ivanov–

Let me lay this out for you. He can’t help but glance to the empty console. Remember that time you were fifteen, and little Gabriel wouldn’t eat his fucking dinner?

Robbie freezes. It wasn’t about Gabe.

Of course not. Nobody cared how hungry you were, or how hard you worked to pay for it. You lose control, you get put away. Think this time it will be any different? Think the wonks in R&D care what happens to you if you don’t perform to specification?

How do you– I am you. He barely saw Gabe for a year. And here they have a whole place set up for kids like him. They don’t need you to take him off their hands. They barely need you to be doing this. Show one crack, see how long until they find a less… troublesome test subject.

Robbie stares at the status displays for a long moment. Drift inactive, it says. He reaches for his comm link.

“Cho?” It takes a moment before his ping gets an acknowledgement. “I changed my mind. Get me out of here.”

[warmsol]

Hi Isa! I’m wondering what blogs you’ve been enjoying lately? My dashboard is a little slow at the moment. Thnx! 💖

hey, here’s a list of some of my faves <33

— neluun / stinkrascal / goldenhour-s /rosymiel / klayde / silentgrim / browntrait / simgerale / sammyshuno / wooldawn / arcanewonder / sojutrait / softpine / keibea / barlyybale / gleamer / ghostputty / moonhze / goldenwaves / orphyd / bunmou / pixeldump / acuar-io / oatberrytea / retro-plasma / mellindi / peonypyxels / viotelle / oakvy / moonsyrups / saloonchick / chaoticchai / sublimesims / verthu / astrasouls / earthmoonz / waifutrait / moonaive / c-cerberus-sims-s / leavemetoplaythesims / itsmariejanel / rollingsim / astystole / oenomeltides

[hellomynameisbisexual]

"We are challenging people to face their own external and internal biphobia. We are demanding attention. We are redefining 'anything that moves' on our own terms."

So declares the introduction to Anything That Movies, a bisexual zine that ran from 1991 to 2001. Founded by editor and photographer Karla Rossi, Anything That Moves got its name from the stereotype that bisexual people will sleep with "anything that moves," and it sought to redefine these and other assumptions about bi people in its decade-long run. Rossi didn't respond to Mashable's request for comment.

All 22 issues of Anything That Moves are now archived by a group of young bisexual people and allies. Not only does the archive introduce a new generation to a rare instance of bi-focused writing, but it's also shockingly relevant to issues bi people face today.

Discovering the bisexual zine

Snippets of the introduction have circulated the internet in recent years, and they're referred to as the ATM "manifesto" on its website. The words caught the attention of bi writer Kravitz Marshall, but he had never seen other material from the zine.

In 2020, Marshall found the Anything That Moves website, a relic of the early 2000s with an incomplete archive. He then bought issue #16 from Bolerium Books, a source for out-of-print books and material related to social movements. Marshall scanned each page of the issue and uploaded it online for free; he had planned on doing this for all issues of Anything That Moves, but acquaintances on a bisexual Discord server expressed interest in helping. The discussion grew so much that they created a separate server.

"It was the first time I became aware such a thing existed and I became very excited at the thought of finding and reading more copies," said Jo, a bi femme activist who became involved in the project and now helms the archive email.

The group found issue #2 via Reddit, but believed finding all the issues would be a difficult process — until a member of the now-inactive archive server was able to gather PDFs of every issue through her university library.

"It was thrilling and such a relief," Marshall told Mashable, "because had this not happened, we might've had to do it the hard and expensive way."

"It happened so fast," Jo recalled. "I just remember about seven bisexuals, including Krav and myself, putting our heads together to figure out the best way to get our hands on all these copies and how to share them with the rest of the LGBTQ community."

Now, the work of Marshall, Jo, and a group of bi people and allies is gathered in the archive.

Joy and heartbreak of Anything That Moves

Reading through the archive is, personally, an ambivalent experience. Anything That Moves began before I was even born, and I feel kindred reading this decades-old work; it's like reading discussions I've had with bi friends back to me. The articles, reviews, fiction, and poetry in discusses visibility, (non)monogamy, the inclusion of trans people in bisexuality — to name merely a few topics still pertinent today.

Despite the joy of reading this bi-centric work, however, it's telling how little has changed since 1991.

Jo, who grew up in a conservative area, found the zine refreshing and comforting. "Even when you discover/read/watch anything regarding LGBTQ history, it’s very rare for any specific focus to be given to the bisexual community," they said. "Finding Anything That Moves was a shock to my system."

Marshall was touched by the "unfiltered life" within its pages. "There's urgency, there's knowledge, there's joy, there's righteous rage, there's lust," Marshall said, "and you don't have to go searching between the lines for it — it grabs your shoulders and shakes you until you reach the back cover."

Despite the joy of reading this bi-centric work, however, it's telling how little has changed since 1991.

For Jo, the experience of reading Anything That Moves has been both special and heartbreaking. "A lot of the subject matter is stuff that the bi community has been dealing with forever," they said. "The same stereotypes and heterosexism that bisexuals faced nearly thirty years ago are still very prevalent today."

"It really hits you that virtually nothing has changed about the outside perception of bisexuality and bisexuals," Marshall agreed. "Almost every single issue we grapple with now is a hand-me-down."

He pointed to a piece in the inaugural issue called "This Poem Can Be Put Off No Longer" to display his point. Here are the first few stanzas:

The first several stanzas of "This Poem Can Be Put Off No Longer" by Susan Carlton, featured in the first issue of 'Anything That Moves.' Credit: Anything That Moves / Susan Carlton

The poem continues, but the point is clear from the start: Bisexual people aren't believed for who they are. They're belittled and told to "choose a side," that they're bisexual for attention. It's difficult to think that this poem is over 30 years old.

The poem "truly could've been written yesterday... or 50 years ago," said Marshall. "How long do we have to keep screaming the same things to the world over and over until people stop pretending we're speaking another galaxy's language?"

Stigma against bisexuality still persists today, and impacts people's lives: Bisexual people are more likely to be anxious and depressed; they're also more likely to experience intimate partner violence.

The stagnancy of the world's perception of bisexual people infuriates Marshall, he said, but it's imperative to still talk about these issues. "You can't just stop talking about these issues, so you just say the same things, because the world that needs to listen to you refuses to move on. And I'm not a fan of repeating myself," he said. "You just feel like you're going crazy."

The solace of Anything That Moves, however, is that even though progress has been slow, fellow bisexual people can relate to the shared experience detailed in its pages.

"How long do we have to keep screaming the same things to the world over and over until people stop pretending we're speaking another galaxy's language?"

After Jo came out, for example, they internalized that being bi made them "second-rate." They didn't feel welcome in cisheterosexual circles nor LGBTQ circles, a common feeling for bisexual people who feel like they're straddling both. Searching for issues of Anything That Moves, part of bisexual history, helped Jo connect with other bi people. Being able to meet others facing the same issues, and sharing this historical information and searching for more, has made the biggest impact on them and their identity.

"I don't feel as alone as I once did because bisexuals of today wanted to learn more about their bisexual elders," they said.

Those who have found the archive have also felt that connection. The archive team has received waves of emails, messages, and followers — some wanting to help, others thanking them.

"For the most part, people are just delighted to finally get to read the magazine," Marshall said.

Even this positive feedback echoes the sentiment of the time. Readers wrote to Anything That Moves, and some of those letters are published in subsequent issues. "You can see so clearly how life-changing these publications were to some people," Marshall said, "so thank God it was brought to the world."

"It's something I definitely needed when I was a closeted, bisexual teenager."

The archive has helped current bi readers ground in their bisexuality, Jo said. The archivists even connected with some former Anything That Moves editors, who discovered them through the project. "I'm just happy we got a chance to say thank you for everything they left for us to discover," Jo said.

There's still work to be done for the archive, like transcriptions for easier reading and sharing. Some people involved even planned on making an original virtual bi zine, Marshall said, but due to personal commitments, the idea fizzled out within months.

"I still hope it'll exist one day," Marshall said. "If by some miracle the future grants me that wish, I won't reveal its title, but I find it pleasantly cheeky."

For now, of course, there's nearly two-dozen issues of Anything That Moves. Jo believes the zine is a gift.

"I want to be able to share this gift with anyone else who may need it," they said. "It's something I definitely needed when I was a closeted, bisexual teenager."

[neolovesneo]

CLAIR DE LUNE.

prince!jaehyun, gardener!reader | romance | secret lovers au, royalty au

note ; haha wow surprise im alive!! so sorry for my inactivity, im trying to balance my life out atm :') to the 3 ppl who requested, i'll finish up your requests asap!!!! tysm for waiting, i feel terrible T^T + requests are closed!

The architecture of the ballroom had always fascinated you – panel after panel of stained French glass rounded together into a translucent dome, allowing in ethereal beams of colored sunlight in the day while soft moonlight reflects off the polished floors in the dusk.

Pillars of marble stretched from the sky-high ceilings, gleaming against the white-and-gold walls in a circle, barely contrasting in color.

And nothing is as wondrous as the view of it all late in the nights of summer. Women of the royal family twirl about gracefully, moonlight bouncing off their dresses overflowing of lace and satin while their partners' mirror their steps, firm arms around their waists.

The orchestra played piece after piece with great emotion, each one so magical that it left you in awe while you secretly listened and watched from afar, harp and piano notes ringing in your ears.

Seeing the people dance was something you could never stop thinking about, envisioning yourself no longer in your dirty gardening uniform, but in the most lavish dress in the kingdom, dancing and laughing to your heart's content along with them.

Truly it was all you had dreamt of - but now that you had it, why did it feel so odd?

Everything started from a rush of events – the one time you finally mustered up the courage to sneak into the empty ballroom at midnight, you had bumped into the sleepless and wandering prince.

Surprised, you had jumped at his presence, fear flooding you as you quickly kneeled down and begged for forgiveness.

And yet to your utter surprise, Jaehyun, the prince, offered his hand to help you get up.

“Worry not.” he had assured you, with a smile so sweet and so lively, neither the thickest honey nor the fiercest flame could compare.

“May I have the pleasure of a dance?”

No song nor words needed to be exchanged that fateful night; it was as if you had found a missing part of yourself. You danced and you danced, your mind and soul naturally fitting with Jaehyun's like a puzzle piece while he kept his hand on the small of your back, the other intertwined with yours.

Since then, the prince and you got closer. Shy and discreet waves exchanged when the royal family had their lunches in the garden, and secret messages sent in paper airplanes led up to your daily midnight waltz with Jaehyun, the empty ballroom echoing the hushed laughter that left your lips from his silly stories.

It was a moment you looked forward to the most, absolute peace and comfort embodying you while Jaehyun held you close, slowly swaying the two of you back and forth to the orchestra pieces burned in your memory.

"What piece are you playing in your mind right now?" Jaehyun whispers, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, which lay across his chest while he swayed the two of you.

"Clair de Lune." you whispered back, the bittersweet melody floating in your mind.

The prince merely hums in reply, and the two of you fall back into comfortable silence. It was like your own little solace of solitude.

"But you know, I have been feeling a bit odd lately." you admit, slowly pulling away from Jaehyun's hold. "How so?" he questions, a furrowed frown on his face.

"I'm not sure. I just feel odd when I'm with you - I've never felt this way before." you mumble, looking up into his eyes.

The February moonlight casts a slight shadow on Jaehyun's cheekbones yet brings a mesmerizing glint into his dark brown orbs. The gaze is intense, but you don't look away.

There's something about his eyes that make you feel even more odd; you feel your heart race, and the blood runs up to your cheeks while you feel butterflies flutter to life in your stomach.

And like the fastest horse in the kingdom dragging the heaviest carriage, it all crashes on to you in a wondrous realization that makes you ponder why you haven't thought of it earlier.

It's not just his eyes that make you feel odd; it's the way they sparkle in delight when he catches sight of you in the gardens, the way they seem to be able to hold their own emotions, the way they look at you whenever you're with him.

It's not just Jaehyun himself that makes you feel odd; it's love.

"That's it." you murmur, a flustered expression of awe creeping onto your face as you look away. "What is it? Am I making you uncomfortable?" Jaehyun asks concernedly, rather worried at how red your face was turning.

"No, you're not making me uncomfortable." you quickly assured him, laughing as you took his hands into yours again.

"I just... really love you." you confess, smiling softly.

The few words bring the brightest smile onto Jaehyun's face, and the tip of his ears turn red from embarrassment.

With a swoop of his arm, he has it wrapped around your waist again, and Jaehyun starts to lead you to dance with him.

There were no guests nor orchestra present, and the chandelier was unlit, but Jaehyun didn't mind - for he loved the peace of being with you, your laughter as the loveliest song he's ever heard and your smile as the brightest star he's ever seen.

Most importantly, he loved you too.

© neolovesneo, 2022.

[haloshornsinkstains]

Mine [Tomura Shigaraki]

This is a bit different from most of my other writing I think? Read the content warnings. It’s not as fluffy as a lot of my other writing. It was just an idea that wouldn’t go away and I finally got it all written out.

Sorry I haven’t updated much this week, first week back at work has been rough. Always open for requests though, especially headcanons or thirsts/drabbles atm.

CW: Omegaverse (Alpha!Shigaraki, Omega!Reader), female reader, NSFW, dubcon , blood, violence, kidnapping

Distressed omegas were meant to be a cowering, whimpering mess. They were meant to be easy to control, to comply subserviently with an Alpha, or even a Beta, in order to remedy whatever situation had them in such a state. Distressed omegas were most certainly not meant to be snarling, snapping and occasionally sending ripples of electricity and broken earth out at their captors. Which is exactly what you were doing.

 It was supposed to be an easy job, scope the place out, report back on your findings. The place was not, according to all the previous intel, supposed to be a hideout for one of the most notorious villain groups in all Japan. But just your luck, that was exactly what it was. You’d expected to die, honestly, when the small blonde had appeared out of nowhere. Maybe dying would have been the better option, rather than being tied up and surrounded by the League. You weren’t even entirely sure why you weren’t dead, she’d mumbled something about your scent and in a blurry series of events you’d found yourself here, growling at their leader as he crouched before you, easily recognisable with the hand obscuring his face.

 “Can someone tell me why we have a distressed omega in the middle of our floor?” He rasped, taking his eyes away from you for a moment to scan the group. “We caught her sneaking around!” Toga grinned, bouncing on the balls of her feet.  “Right. So why is she here and not, say, dead?” Shigaraki growled, before whipping his head back to you, nose wrinkled. “And will you stop that? You smell terrible.” You merely snarled in response. You knew your distress tinged your natural scent with a sour note that wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t as if you could control the feeling given your current predicament. “Um, boss, we do have her tied up. It’s probably not entirely her fault.” “Spinny is right. She smelled so good before~” Toga beamed. You snorted. “She’s bleeding, of course you thought she smelled good.” “Not like that! The blood smelled good, but she smelled right before she started bleeding. Then she smelled better~”  Tomura sighed, shifting forwards towards you to try and see what the beta girl meant. You shuffled backwards, baring your teeth at him in a snarl, sparks skittering off your skin towards him. Tomura snarled back, sharp canines glinting from between chapped lips in a clear threat. “Stop it! I could just kill you you know?” He glanced over his shoulder, missing the way your body drooped in poorly hidden hurt at his next words. “You just had to bring a broken omega didn’t you brat?”  Broken. You’d heard that before. No one wanted an omega who snarled and snapped back, instead of submitting at the drop of a hat. Omegas were supposed to be subservient. Motherly. They were supposed to have supportive roles. You were none of those, topped with an offensive type quirk, you weren’t what anyone would look for in an omega mate. You were broken, by their standards. “Stop. Calm down.” You reacted immediately to the new Alpha voice, your body relaxing against your own will, every fibre of your being racing to obey the alpha’s command. You turned your head to scowl at the man who’d pulled such a dirty trick, stupid Alpha’s and their stupid ability to make Omega’s obey. A scarred face grinned back at you, Dabi you realised, another strong Alpha - had to be to make you submit like that when you were so riled up. “You could’ve done that too you know creep, threatening her wasn’t going to make her any less distressed.” He huffed. “You’re the worst Alpha I’ve ever met.” Tomura scowled, scratching at his neck. “You must not spend much time with yourself.” Dabi huffed a laugh, leaning against the wall behind you. You could feel his eyes burning into the back of your neck, clearly watching for you to make some move to attack as Tomura shifted closer. His scent was getting stronger, too much so to just account for his proximity. He was trying to calm you, you realised belatedly, a hand twitching near his neck as if he didn’t dare scratch at the damaged glands further. It took a moment for the scent to really hit you, your eyes going wide and panicked as your body reacted, the urge to fling yourself towards him and flee warring between each other and leaving your frozen in place. You shook your head as a needy whine bubbled from your throat unbidden. Tomura fell backwards, brows pinched together in what you thought was a similar kind of distress. In a panic you tried to focus on a different scent, anything to push the scent of dusty rooms and decaying leaves and belonging from your nose. Your head whipped to Dabi behind you, breathing deeply through your nose. He was another Alpha, surely his scent should do something to mask Tomura’s, but the smoke and spice was far too faint to cover whatever the other Alpha had pumped through the room. Noticing your gaze Dabi just offered a lazy shrug, tilting his head slightly with a smug smirk. The burn scars that covered his neck must have messed with his scent glands, which also explained the tang of burnt flesh you got from him. The Betas weren’t doing much either, and everyone smelled faintly of blood, including you. With another needy whine you gave up and focused hard on the floor, trying not to breathe more than strictly necessary. The world around you blurred and faded as you fought every instinct in you screaming to reach out to the Alpha and bare your neck to his teeth. 'Stupid body, stop it. I'm better than this, I've met plenty of strong Alphas before.' 'But none of them smelled like that. Good enough to make you react like this' your traitorous mind whispered back. 'Screw that. I am not my secondary gender. I'm a hero. I don't roll over for anyone, and certainly not an infamous villain. No matter how good he smells…' 'Smells like mate. Your Alpha.' '...mate. No!'. You snarled into the floor, not quite sure when you’d shifted position like this. You vaguely registered the shuffle of feet, Tomura had stood and moved away at some point, and the low rasp of orders. "Spinner, go put her somewhere." "Okay? Uh, where?" "Anywhere but here." A door slammed and you felt yourself being lifted, heated over a shoulder. Spinner you guessed, he smelled weird, even under the blood and soft scent that marks him as part of the pack. His smell was dry, like sand and tanned leather and something reptilliant you couldn't place. He jostled you slightly as he moved down some stairs, making you hiss at him in irritation. He growled back, finally dumping you in a small cellar, your hands still tied.

“What was that all about?” Toga asked, spinning a knife in her hands.  “You can’t guess?” Dabi sighed. “Do you know anything?” Toga just shrugged, humming to herself. “I know how to stab people.” “From the omega’s reaction I’d say she smelled a mate.” Compress sighed. “I’m sure you can piece together who from the reaction.” “Oh. Oh. Maybe that’s why she smelled so nice before.” Dabi shrugged. “What did she smell like before? I only got the sour distressed smell, and… well.” Toga winced, the sour smell had been unpleasant sure, but the strange musk after it hadn’t been so bad. It reminded her of how things smelled after she got to play with blood. “She smelled good, like thunderstorms and old things. A bit like the bar when we first got here, except with more lightning.” “That explains it. Creepy hands McGee is going to be a child about it though.” Dabi hummed.  “You should have more faith in our leader.” Dabi shot Compress a disbelieving look and shook his head. “This is going to be a pain.”

You weren’t sure how long you’d been trapped in their cellar. Two days maybe, if they were bringing you three meals a day, longer if not and well… three meals a day seemed a little too generous for the group of villains. Yet no one had come to find you, probably assumed you were dead you reasoned, but the abandonment stung somewhere deep in your chest. You’d smelled your mate several times since you’d been captured too, lurking outside the door but never coming any further. Each time the battle with your instincts got harder, the omega inside you begging to call out, to crawl to the door and beg for him to come in. Occasionally small whimpers would slip past your lips, ones that you would scold yourself for, but worse was the answering growl that sometimes came from the other side of the door. Low and possessive and filled with a promise of something both dangerous and so, so tempting. Those times it was even harder to stay back, your body trembling from the effort of staying still. You didn’t want him, not logically, he was dangerous and cruel and evil. Everything opposed to what you worked for in life. But your traitorous body smelled a mate, the first one you’d met since high school, and it wanted him so badly it ached. 

Meanwhile Dabi was getting more and more frustrated, nothing was happening with the League while their boss was fixated on their captive, and while he didn’t really care about the League’s goals where they diverged from his own, the inactivity was boring the others and their restlessness was driving him insane. That and the constant growling of the other Alpha made his hackles rise, part of him he thought he’d buried long ago wanting to fight over the omega. It was stupid and he hated it, so it needed to be solved, and he knew just the thing to kick Shigaraki into action.

 You snapped awake from a fitful sleep as you heard the door to the cellar opening. A traitorous part of your mind hoping it would be your mate. Instead the faint smell of burning caught you nose and you huffed, turning away from the other Alpha. You heard a growl from behind you but ignored it, pulling the blanket around you protectively. “Go away.”  There was a rough laugh. “I don’t think so little Omega. All this pining is getting annoying.” You huffed. “There is no pining. But if you’re here to kill me just get it over with, this cellar smells terrible.” “Tempting but no” he grabbed your shoulders, flipping you onto your back in one swift motion “I’ve got a much better plan.” Your body tensed up, preparing to fight whatever this asshole planned to do to you, despite the power-dampening bands they’d locked onto your wrists. You pulled your legs up, closing them tightly, ready to kick him away. But Dabi was deceptively strong, pinning your legs down with one arm as his other grabbed something from his coat pocket, binding it over your nose and mouth. A gag, you thought at first, ready to scream for help that probably wouldn’t come as soon. But then the smell hit you, your eyes going wide and panicked. It was his smell, dusty and decaying and enough to set all of your nerves on fire. You thrashed on the bed, tossing your head around and trying to get it off, get away from the intoxicating scent, but Dabi had a hand pressed hard against your throat. “Behave.” You froze with a whimper that you hated yourself for. “Good Omega. Now, we just need to wait until your heat kicks in and this’ll all be over.” You struggled weakly again, your heat hadn’t been very far off when you first broke in here anyway, the overwhelming scent of Alpha, of Mate, would only bring it on faster. And with Dabi pressing down on your neck you felt you might pass out before you could get the clothing off you. Everything was hazy and the blood was pounding in your ears as the edges of your vision darkened.

 Dabi sighed, climbing off you and sniffing the air. Beneath the sour sting of distress he could smell the sweetness and thick musk that signalled an impending heat. A couple hours and you’d be in full heat he figured, plenty of time to convince the creep to get down here and trap him in here with you. Dabi figured he’d either kill you, fuck you and then kill you or (and it was probably the least likely) actually claim you as a mate and stop this ridiculous moping. Maybe having an omega around the place would be useful, you were supposed to be good at looking after people and all that shit and god knows these idiots need it. Now he just had to convince the creep to actually enter the cellar.

 In the end it was easier than he thought. All he had to do was suggest you were in some kind of danger and some long dormant Alpha instincts seemed to kick in, sending Shigaraki darting into the cellar before his brain could catch up with what he was doing. With a satisfied bark of laughter Dabi slammed the door shut again, banking on the boss’ instincts kicking in before he could think of disintegrate the door with his quirk. Sliding the lock shut he turned to address the door, raising his voice so he could be heard inside. “We’re all sick of your nonsense, so either fuck or kill each other. I don’t care.” You were staring wide eyed at Shigaraki from your makeshift blanket nest, a sheen of sweat making your skin almost glow in the dim light. The room stank with the scent of your heat, sickly sweet and tinged with ozone. For his part Shiagraki had pressed himself back against the door, staring at you as if you were about to pounce on him and eat him alive. Though, in his defence, your instincts were screaming at you to do exactly that. In a way it was almost funny, that something so simple could reduce someone so powerful to panic like this, but you knew how dangerous that could be at the same time, how easily he could kill you. You tried to growl at him, but it came out more like a needy whimper, a ripple of pain running through your body. You knew it was only a matter of time before he lost control, maybe it was better to just get it over with… the way your body was screaming at you was getting harder to ignore too. Before you realised what was happening you had started to crawl towards him, his snarl the only thing that snapped you out of the heat daze and made you stop. “Stay back.” You froze, studying him carefully. He was trembling, a thin sheen of sweat covering his face, his hands frozen into claws on the floor, pinkies raised. So it was getting to him faster than you bargained for. Great.  “I’m trying!” You hissed. “Try harder!” You narrowed your eyes, a snarl escaping your lips. “Screw you.” He answered with a growl, deep and low in his throat, the sound making you whine and press yourself to the floor on instinct, hips raised in the air. In the few seconds it took you to realise what you were doing something in Tomura snapped, the scent of your heat and the submissive mating position sparking every instinct in his body. In a flash you’re trapped beneath him, feeling the solid press of his length against your ass. He’s trembling, barely restrained as he ruts against your clothing. It’s sweet, in a twisted way, that he’s this far gone but still trying to hold on to a thread of control, to wait for your consent. And with him pressed so close, his intoxicating scent filling your nostrils, you know you can’t hold off much longer. Each time you try to say no it comes out as whine, your heat growing stronger with each passing heartbeat. “Please.” It comes out as a whine, but your hips rocking back against his is more than enough to tell him what you want.

 His fingers scrabbled at your pants, careful to keep his pinkie away from the clothes even in this state.  You heard the groan as he saw the mess of slick sticking to your underwear, you could feel it starting to run down your legs, the smell almost overwhelming. You heard more fabric rustle before you felt him pressing against you, felt the quiver in his body as he stilled with his head just pressing at your entrance. You whined, low and needy, bucking your hips back against him again, knees pressed together by your hastily tugged down clothes and chest cold against the floor. Behind you he growls, hips bucking forwards with enough force to almost push you over. His body folded over yours, hands pressed against the floor, away from you. A small thing, but it speaks volumes about his unwillingness to hurt you, that the bond of knowing you’re mates has stuck with him too. It’s the last coherent thought you have before your brain is completely overcome with a haze of lust, devoid of any thoughts except how good his cock feels inside you, hard and heavy rubbing along your inner walls. Your hands scrabble against the floor as he bucks up into you, pressing against a spot on your insides with every thrust that makes you see stars, his breath a series of harsh pants in your ears. There’s no dirty talk, no indication how much he’s enjoying this aside from the occasional ‘fuck’ or low moan. You could feel his knot pressing against your entrance, stretching you a little more with each thrust, brushing against your clit and pushing you closer and closer to your release. You knew anyone who passed would be able to hear your wanton moans and whimpers through the door, too lost in pleasure to control your volume. “Please. Please knot me Alpha, mate.” You whined, rocking back against him. “Need you.” There was a low chuckle from above you, dark and twisted. “Lost all your fight little omega? How pitiful.” You whined, clenching down around him. It was all it took for him to thrust hard once more, his knot pushing past your outer ring and locking itself inside you. The sudden pressure tipped you over the edge, spasming around his dick, barely aware as he made a final few shallow thrusts before groaning and tipping over the edge himself, filling you with his warm come. The pain of his teeth latching onto your neck, the sharpened canines piercing through the bond mark, was enough to bring you out of your daze. “Mine.”  Locked together you could feel his tongue lapping at the wound, cleaning the blood and soothing the sting of the bite. You tried not to struggle, worried the movement would anger him, even as you could hear the mutterings of ‘mine, my omega’ against your skin. With the worst of your heat sated right now you could almost think clearly again, despite the stretch of his knot inside you firing all kinds of signals inside your body. You’d allowed yourself to be claimed by one of the biggest villains in Japan, in a dingy basement against a cold stone floor. He’d bitten you and marked you as his. There was no way they were going to let you out of there now, no matter how much you begged or used your ‘omega charms’ on them. You were trapped. At least the claim would offer you some protection from the others, or so you hoped.

What on earth had you gotten yourself into?

[someone-elsa]

Check In Tag ✔️

I was tagged by @sim4areason​, thank you!

Why did you choose your url? I wanted to use my real name but not something too obvious like elsa-sims. I don’t know how but I came up with this super funny word play. There’s a person using “somebody elsa” (not on tumblr) but I like someone better anyway ;D

Any side blogs? If you have them name them and why you have them. I have my CC finds blog (mostly for me to keep track of things) and a blog in Finnish (suomitumppu!) but I’m not giving that url :DDD

How long have you been on tumblr? My first posts in this blog is from May 2014, so 7 years 🙃 I actually had a couple of blogs before that but they don’t count, haha.

Do you have a queue tag? I do queue posts but I don’t use any special tag for them. Should I?

Why did you start your blog in the first place? I thought it would be fun!

Why did you choose your icon/pfp? I saw a floating head icon somebody else had and wanted a similar one. And Paige is one of my favourite sims. But I’ve been thinking about updating 🤔

Why did you choose your header? It’s a fun picture and even with its flaws, I’m pretty happy with it.

What’s your post with the most notes? Yearbook Poses with 2755 notes (atm). My top posts are all CC posts. Not surprising but I wish it wasn’t  that way :’)

How many mutuals do you have? Can I check this somewhere? I mean I could always go to my following page and count but I follow 552 blogs and more than a handful follow be back 😅 So I’ll say at least 5.

How many followers do you have? ~3,4k. Way more than I deserve! But probably most are after CC that I post not too often, haha!

How many people do you follow? 552. I’m trying to get that number down so I unfollowed all CC only blogs (apart from a couple of CC finds blogs, that’s enough of CC on my dash). And I check my following page occasionally and unfollow blogs that have been inactive for 100+ days. But if those blogs start posting again, I’ll probably refollow!

Have you ever made a shitpost? I guess? Maybe? I don’t remember all of my posts :D

How often do you use tumblr each day? TOO OFTEN.

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won? I’m as argumentative as a dead fish. So, no.

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? I don’t remember if I have ever reblogged those posts. My blog is for Sims content and very rarely for my personal life things.

Do you like tag games? Yes. I love to be tagged in these things even if I don’t always take part. Sometimes I simply forget, sometimes I don’t have anything to say. But tagging don’t bother me, so tag me whether we are mutuals or not :)

Do you like ask games? Yes. But often people choose the one question on the list that I cannot answer 🙈 “Your favourite ...“ is always a tough question for me because I don’t feel strongly enough about things, haha.

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? Hmmm, not sure.

Do you have a crush on a mutual? I fall for people way too easily, so yes 😳

I’ll tag my current BC contestant creators: @cherisim, @bakersimmer, @erosims, @helloavocadooo, @natolesims, @simsstuph, @its-plum-jam​

Feel free to ignore! (but that means your sim will be the next one out! 😈)

[shittylongcatposts]

A/N: hey guys, i'm sorry that i'm kind of inactive this week... I just don't have the time and the right mood atm especially after this evening. Anyways! I needed to rant about something a little bit and ended up writing more than planned. Mostly because i just want some jumin cuddles.

Ehm ... I'll also hide it under the cut, there are some swear words, and it's... It gets a little bit sad.

For Jumin's three week vacation you both decided to visit your family. You missed them all so dearly that seeing them, after everything that happened in the last months, made you cry rivers. When you first made plans, Jumin told you to book a hotel for the both of you, but when your mother heard that you wanted to spend your vacation in your hometown, she invited you to stay at her home. The guest room she prepared looked lovely and when Jumim opened the door to it for the first time he gasped. It looked like a hotel room, the duvet lay perfectly on the bed, the towels ontop were folded like birds or swans (your mother showed you how to do this once but you always forget how to actually do it).

A few days later, you nearly introduced Jumin to the whole family. He got to know your mother, your grandparents and some of your aunts and uncles and last but not least your father.

He came by your grandparent's home when you all sat on the patio enjoying a cup of the same old Cappuccino that you drank when you visited them after school. The one that your grandmother used to serve exactly at 3pm and always three cups of it, one for you, one for your "Öpimöpi" (grandpops) and one cup for her.

Now, after many years, there was another cup placed in front of Jumin's place, who quietly looked around, enjoying the view into the garden, listening to the silence of the town you once called your home. The birds sang and he could hear cars driving down the main road in the distance. The pigeons on the roof sang their song. It was beautiful! And then he heard steps.

It was your father and your younger brother. Before you could even jump to greet them both of them pulled you into a tight hug, and while you hugged your father, Jumin noticed that tears began to build up in your beautiful pair of eyes. But with a quick dry swallow they were gone again. As if nothing ever happened you started chirping again, playfully joking with your little brother. Dancing around and chasing each other through the garden, oh how lovely you two looked.

But throughout the whole evening the young man noticed that neither you nor your father exchanged a lot of words, only here and there a few sentences, a quick walk through the gardens, but you didn't tell him that much. Only about a few things that happened around here and some small exciting news in his life. (He offered his help a pregnant woman to renovate her house)

Your little brother however talked a lot with him, and with you. That little boy seemed to be quite charmed by the stories his sister shared with him and how you met Jumin.

When you finally slipped under the blanket that night Jumin tried asking you about the situation. However you kissed him good night, trying to please him with a "it's fine, I promise, Jumin. Let's go to bed, ok?". And with that you turned around, pretending to be asleep. Jumin knew it wasn't fine, but he also didn't want to pressure you, so he pulled you closer and tried not to worry too much about it. Only seconds after Jumin fell asleep, tears streamed down your face, you couldn't hold them back anymore.

Another few days later you decided to visit your old gymnastics training, it felt good to see all the familiar faces again. That one little granny you liked a lot, the other one who always forgot your name and especially your trainer. She hadn't changed a bit, and still enjoyed torturing the attendees of this course. When the torture ended you jumped into the car your mom lent you with wobbly knees. You started the car, turned onto the street and drove the way you so often drove down when you still lived here.

Down the long street, onto the main road and past the only ice cream parlor of this small town. You drove further and suddenly you saw two persons out of the corner of your eyes. They walked down the road and one of them looked pretty familiar. It was your father. Next to him stood the young woman with the baby resting in a kind of baby towel. They both ate ice cream and even though you only saw them for a mere second, you felt a sting in your heart. The last thing you saw in the corner of your rear view mirror was your dad, laughing, probably joking around with her. He made that weird step to the right, that thing he always did when he had to laugh while he was walking.

It hurt so bad to see him like this. Because you wished you were the one he just told his crappy joke. You felt your heart breaking into pieces, and wanted to cry so badly, but you could only sob, trying to concentrate on the road.

The minute you opened the door and slipped into your shared bedroom you collapsed on the bed. Jumin, who just watched you come in, quickly put his book aside.

"Darling what happened?" He asked, one hand rubbing over the small of your back, the other trying to put some of the loose strands behind your ear.

"I'm a failure, Jumin, that's what happened. I just… I can't hold it back anymore." you whined, and for the first time Jumin watched you crying, not because of anger or joy, no, because your heart was broken. He didn't know what to do or say, wishing he could tell you that you were the love of his life and not a failure to him, that he loved you no matter what happened. But he couldn't speak, a big lump in his throat silenced him, and stole his voice. Instead he continued to stroke your back, always reassuring you that he was still there. When your sobbing got worse he pulled you into a hug, softly placing kisses on the crown of your hair.

"Mc, i don't know what happened" he whispered, finally finding his voice again "But you are not in the slightest a failure. You are the most precious human being on this earth…"

"Shut up Jumin, I know I am, I fucked up. Look at my father, he can't even spend time with me, but with everybody else. That was the case and it always will be like that. Why doesn't he want to eat a fucking ice cream with me! I just want to be able to talk to him for god's sake."

"Shh… Mc, you're upset I get that, but I'm sure that's not how it is." He tried to calm you. Pulling on his pajama shirt, your eyes red from crying, you looked up at your boyfriend, letting him see how broken you were.

"Jumin, it's always been like that, since I was six, my dad and I lost each other and never found each other again. I love him with all my heart but it hurts so much sometimes."

The young man pulled you tighter to him, cupping your cheeks with both of his smooth hands. His thumbs rubbing away the tears that still streamed down your face.

"It's going to be ok, my princess, I promise." He kissed you again, this time his soft lips brushed the tip of your nose.

"Maybe we should talk to him tomorrow? I can come with you if you want to - I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding, darling."

You didn't want to, but you knew Jumin was right. You should talk with him. Tell him how you feel, how much you 'suffered' all these years. Rubbing the last few tears away you nodded. Jumin's fingers brushed over your shoulder wandering further down to squeeze your hand. "Thank you Jumin. And I'm sorry I got so… emotional."

"You know that you can tell me everything, my dear. I want to help you in any way possible and I really wish to stand right beside you at all times." He smiled softly. With a sigh you leaned into his chest, listening to his heartbeat always calmed you down. His breath evened out and while you both enjoyed each other's presence the steady sound of his breath and his beating heart let you finally fall asleep.

[cherrysha]

If You Let Me

my stupid ass laptop crashed while writing this so i think that meant i should post it asap. Anyway i rewatched the chimera ant arc and Shoot’s transformation inspired me to make sad smut because yall kno i cant stay away from angst. i hope this hurts in a good way! feel free to tell me ur thoughts and opinions!

Summary: After surviving the Chimera Ants, Shoot comes back into your life after years of being gone, claiming to be a changed man. But you’re tired of being his only when he needs you.

Word count: 2,848

My requests are open atm

Warnings: dubcon, angst, fingering, oral sex

18+ crowd here. No minors should be reading this

You see him there. Standing in front of the store window. He doesn’t do anything, just stares until you notice him before disappearing into the crowded city streets. You can’t help but be shocked. He’d been gone for years, leaving you to wallow in your misery and self doubt.

Four hours left in your shift and you didn’t have to guess where you’d find him. Probably in the same place he always was when he decided to show up again. Every minute you stood there, greeting customers and cleaning up after them you couldn’t help but the think of what you’d actually say to him.

What you wanted was to yell, to scream until your voice left you. Maybe you’d quietly tell him to leave and never come back. But you’d done all of that before. No matter what you had to put your foot down. You shouldn’t have let it continue for so long anyway.

-

Four hours later and your hunch was correct. Door still locked, he sat right at your kitchen table nonchalantly leaning back as if he belonged there. At one point he did, but the memory of it alone is enough to make your chest ache.

“What is it Shoot?” You sigh, dropping your bag and keys on the table. You follow suit, dropping into a chair to sit across from him.

He’s quiet as you sit down, hand fiddling with the material of his shirt. Nervous habit, you knew all too well how hard they were to break.

“Why are you so upset?” And he asks it as if there’s nothing wrong. Like it was normal for him to be here. Your irritation was only growing as you stared at the man in front of you.

“What a stupid question.” You mumble, pulling a cigarette out of the pack in your pocket. Before you have time to react he’s crushing it between his fingers, eyes trained on you while he speaks

“I thought you stopped smoking.” It’s almost a question and his eyes are full of concern.

“Believe it or not, a lot changes when you’re not here. My life keeps moving without you.”

“Ah” he says, as if he’s finally realizing it.

“Do you think I might’ve changed since we last met?” You give him a once over, shaking your head ‘no’ before he continues.

“Maybe you can’t see it.” His eyes are guarded as he waits for your reaction. You know what this is before he even has time to finish. He was trying to sway you, make you believe he was different and let him stay for the night. And in the morning you’d be alone again.

“Ah..” you sigh, mimicking him. With a nod of your head, you pretend to play along.

“How many hours are you going to be a changed man?” You cross your arms “One? Two? Are you going to at least wait until I fall asleep this time?”

He lets out an exasperated sigh, finally letting an emotion play across his face. Irritation. How ironic. “Why do you have to be so -“

“You’re the one who decided to leave, Shoot.”

“And you always let me come back.” he says calmly. “How do you think I feel?” There’s guilt in his eyes, as if he means to say that  he knows the pain he’s caused and that it’s eating him alive. But the way it sounds when it hits your ears is that because you accepted him over and over again, you’ve caused him unnecessary grief. His words are enough to make you overlook the sad expression lingering on his face.

“Oh no... don’t you sit there and try to blame this on me! You left. I didn’t. Don’t make yourself out to be the victim here Shoot! I didn’t fuck up your emotions. That was all you!” There’s a pause as he stares at you. That’s how he always was. Always so composed but you could tell what he was thinking nonetheless.

“That’s not what I was trying to do” and there’s this resolve in his voice, as if he’s accepted the fact that this isn’t going in the direction he wanted it to.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes before responding. “Well, what were you trying to do then?”

And you know the your next words are harsh, but after years of holding your tongue you don’t care to mince your words for his benefit. He pauses to consider your question and that’s when you say it “Or do you not want to talk about it like usual? It’s just too fucking difficult you’re gunna have to run away like you always do, right?”

All he does is grit his teeth. But it’s that reaction alone tells you the most. Like the flip of a switch, anger swallowed any sadness that was left on his face, and that was enough to prove him right. He wasn’t the person who left you all those years ago. You lean back in your chair with a sigh, choosing to ignore the tension in the room and his piercing gaze. No, this wasn’t the same Shoot. he should’ve left by now. But you know old dogs rarely learn new tricks. Just because he learned a new one didn’t mean he was the type of man to stay. He’d proven that time and time again.

“The doors open, Shoot.”

You rub your temples. This exchange has already dragged on far too long and the exhaustion you felt earlier from work was slowly returning to you.

He chuckles, it’s something dark and it makes your eyes snap open to look at him. He looks relaxed, like he’d finally gotten what he came for. But there’s tension hidden in his body. The loose fabric of his clothes couldn’t hide that.

“You always liked to hear yourself talk.”

And he says it as if he hasn’t been gone for years. Says it like you’re willing to concede if he just pushes hard enough. If he pressed the right buttons. It makes your stomach turn. Not again. You were done with this game.

“Yeah and look what good that did me.” You counter his laugh with a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “All that begging and I still ended up alone.”

You get up before you have time to see his reaction. it’s over, you shouldn’t care about the sting your words would leave him with. Slowly you move behind him to the balcony, letting your arms hold you tight, as if to keep yourself from falling apart.

You were too tired to be angry, too exhausted to bicker with him much longer. Yes, you loved him. Loved him since you were kids and that’s why you knew better than anyone that his word meant nothing. He was a man of inaction, it was in his nature to flee at the first sign of a fight. And after all these years, you loved him even though he was nothing but a coward.

You could give in tonight and wake up with an empty bed in the morning, or save yourself the heartache and make him leave right now.

The view on the balcony wasn’t bad for how cheap this place was. City stretched before you, lights and people converging as if it was just one giant organism. The sun was setting but, in a place like this there was rarely any peace. People scurried like ants, darting around as they quickly made their way home, to work, to restaurants and clubs. This big city with all these people and he still managed to find the one he was looking for. All so he could satisfy his guilt while paying no mind to how you felt. Yeah, It was time.

“The door, Shoot. It was nice catching up but I have work in the morning.” It’s quiet but you know he’s heard you.

There’s some shuffling as he gets up and you don’t let yourself turn around to see him leave again. You know what it looks like and you know the emotion that would climb it’s way out of your chest if you saw it one more time.

What you don’t expect is the feeling of his chest pressing against your back. The warmth there enough to make you release a quiet gasp. You were almost positive he would’ve taken the opportunity to leave. His arm pulls you closer as the words leave his lips.

“I’m sorry”

“I’ve heard it.” You snap, willing the anger and frustration back down your throat. “I’ve heard the ‘I love you’s and the promises to change before, Shoot. I’ve heard it all.” You can’t help it when your voice cracks, or the tears that start sliding down your face.

“Just save it and leave. Don’t make it even harder for me.”

He turns you around and he’s wearing this expression you haven’t seen on him before. You’d call it determination, that was the only thing you could describe it as, but there was something else there too.

His movements are slow and you can already tell where this is headed. In a few moments his lips are on yours, fingers tight against your chin holding you in place. You try to fight it, try to pull away but he can tell that the effort is half hearted and it only spurs him on even more. If you truly didn’t want it you would’ve stopped him earlier.

After a few seconds you give in to the taste of his mouth mixed with tears. It’s warm, it’s familiar and you can’t help but lean into it. You know it’s wrong but it’s too late to stop. When he finally lets you go you’ve shattered in his grasp. Resolve broken, there’s nothing left to hold back the flood of emotion that’s built up inside of you for years.

“I hate you!” You scream. And you hope beyond anything that the same man who would leave is still in there. You could pick up the pieces later but if he stayed it’d only be worse once he was gone. You try to push him away, tears soaking your shirt as you shove against his unforgiving chest.

“I hate you.. I hate you.” The words slowly fizzle into sobs that wrack through your body. Shoot only pulls you closer, arm coming to fit snug against your waist.

“I’m not leaving, y/n. Huh? Look at me. I’m not leaving.”

You can barely see through the tears flooding your eyes but it’s there. That resoluteness etched deep within the lines of his face. You prayed it was deep enough for him to have changed, you prayed it was shallow enough for him to leave for the final time and spare the ache in your heart. You prayed to be free of this cycle.

You lean into his chest, immediately soaking the fabric there. Your voice is a whisper when you finally speak again.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to.” He whispers, ”Just give me a chance to prove it.”

You don’t speak, don’t react as he lifts you up and carries you inside. How long has it been since he was here? In your apartment? Your bedroom? You don’t remember, but it feels like a thousand lifetimes ago.

Soft kisses litter your pliant body as soon as he lays you on the bed. It’s different than the usual way he’s done it. Something tender flows through him and into you with each press of his mouth. Maybe he can sense that you’ve given up. It didn’t matter how hard you tried to fight it, you always ended up underneath him.

But there’s something so guilt free about the way he undresses you, lays you before him and gives a kiss to your mound. his touch is far sweeter than what you’ve come to expect. Before, he’d rush quickly through the act to outrun the guilt that slowly built up inside of him. But now, he takes his time, savoring every minute he can as his mouth sucks bruises into your hips. your thighs. There’s a tender moment before he buries his face between your them, quickly licking a stripe up your center before stopping to suck on your sensitive clit. Once he has a taste he can’t stop himself from taking what he came for. He doesn’t have the patience to.

Whimpers mix with the sobs that leave your throat. You could never help the way your body responded to his touch, couldn’t help the way slick dripped down your thighs at the mere thought of his mouth on you. And he doesn’t let any of it go to waste, lapping up everything you have to offer him. He’s starved, and now was his chance to have as much as he wanted.

He had been selfish, he knew that. But as much as he was giving right now he was aware of how much he was taking. This was no different. Your body underneath his. Legs tight around him as he ate his fill and then some, not stopping when you arched against him. A broken wail leaves your throat. No, he was still selfish. He needed all of you, every last drop.

There’s no break, no rest as he pushes you over the edge. You can tell he’s not trying to make up for lost time. He couldn’t change the past or the mistakes he’d made along the way. It wasn’t guilt either. No sadness in his face or in his movements against you. It was a desperate need that drove him, nothing more. You’d never seen this much of him. Still fully clothed, he left his heart lying naked on the sheets for you to see. It’s so overwhelming that it makes your head spin. Coupled with the orgasm still rushing through your body, it was enough to make you go limp beneath him. Before you know it, he’s lifting his mouth off of you, giving you respite from the pleasure for only a few seconds. Shoot kneels between your open legs as he deftly pushes two fingers deep within your cunt.

It’s indescribable. You hadn’t felt this good in such a long time, the pleasure of your last orgasm still so fresh that his thumb moving against your clit bordered on painful.

“I love you” and he says it like it’s not a mere feeling, but an absolute fact. His eyes bore into you, stern expression on his face as he fucks his digits in and out of your soaked core. He feels it. The clench around him as he says it. There’s no denying what his words are doing.

“Stop it Shoot.” The tears come back again with a vengeance as you cover your face with your arm. He speeds up, thumb brushing quicker at the bud hidden between your folds.

“I love you y/n”  and there’s this conviction in his voice you can’t ignore. But you know better. Sobs shake your body as you clench tight around him again. If he kept it up you weren’t going to last very long.

He’s moving, determined expression still on his face as he kisses his way up your stomach to your chest, nipping at a pert nipple before giving the same attention to the other. His lips are on your neck, sucking and biting dark bruises into your sensitive skin.

“You don’t have to say it. You’ve done enough for me sweetheart.”

His warm mouth presses against the hollow of your neck before continuing.

“Just come for me okay?”

You can’t help but to obey. You whine as your body tightens around him before it suddenly lets go. All the pain, the hurt, the betrayal is forgotten as he works his tongue into your mouth, taking every noise you make for himself. It’s mind numbing and the wind is knocked from you at the sheer force of it. You move your arm to fist the sheets underneath you, an electric current still pulsing through your veins as he stills his digits inside and switches to just lazily rubbing your clit in circles.

Shoot watches with rapture at the pleasure on your face, eyes red with tears and lips swollen from his mouth. He wanted more. Wanted to take everything you could give him and then some. To make you cry with pleasure as he pushed your body to it’s limits. But this night wasn’t for him and he was aware that you had given everything you could. It wasn’t about what he wanted. So he pulls his fingers out and undresses, shushing you when you start to tell him you can’t, your too tired. “I don’t want that” he whispers.

He crawls in bed next to you, holding your naked body close as he places kisses to your neck. your breathing evens out and you fall asleep much quicker than he expected. but it was okay. In the morning he’d be there. He’d prove himself to you and would take whatever you were willing to give afterwards

[ikdrama]

≫❥ hi, hope everyone's doing good. so um i've been inactive on tumblr for a long time for many reasons; whether it was 'cause of losing interests, life getting in the way, etc. i neglected this blog and kept leaving and coming back. i've been on this platform for years now and kept switching between other platforms for the times i've been mia on here. i've tried out instagram, then came back to tumblr, but switched again. i changed between interests—from photo editing to gif making to graphic design to video editing and now back to using photoshop again for making gifs, hopefully. for topics from kdramas to kpop to western back to kdramas, etc.

≫❥ however, i feel like tumblr still holds a space in my heart closer to home unlike instagram. perhaps because it's where i initially started out that i grew more attached to this platform. also maybe i'm getting older and most people on here are the og ones, they're more at the same age range as me, unlike instagram. age has never been an issue to me, i have friends who are much younger than me and those who are older (but mostly young ones) and they all are very dear to me. but i guess i just needed some friends with a closer age range too.

≫❥ i have made some lovely friends on here and i'm forever grateful for those sweet times. however, over the years when i abruptly left tumblr, i had also lost touch with them. so, i might have no friends left on here which saddens me a little but that's all on me and it's okay, i can always try getting in touch with them again, right ? but i'd love to make new friends and reunite with my old ones, so please feel free to message me anytime you wanna be friends, my dms and askbox are always open <3 (doubt anyone's reading this at all lol but it's worth the try i guess heh).

≫❥ anyways, what i'm saying is, i'm coming back this time for real, or at least try making a better effort into taking good care of this blog. i used to be a content maker (mostly creating gifs) but stopped at some point and only rb posts now. frankly, over the time dramas would have a less impact on me, i wouldn't be as much interested in them as before and switched interests but then again came back to them, just now i'm not up-to-date with the on-air ones, i would watch a drama that i find being interested in, so it's random and inconsistent, i don't watch a lot of dramas like i used to (surely my list of watched dramas became quite poor too oof). but i do watch some every once in a while when i find the time and am in the mood for it. my personal favorite genres nowadays are thriller/action/fantasy/comedy dramas with slight romance (teenage romance makes me cringe now when watching those, idk maybe i'm just getting old lol).

≫❥ but another reason to why i stopped creating content was also because i was too focused on whether my post reaches a wider range of audience ? i would get scared it wouldn't get much attention compared to the time and effort i would give into working on my original content. surely, this would bring the content creator down but at the end of the day i chose to be here because i find joy in making the content i wish the world to see and it's still okay if the whole world wouldn't see it as long as i shared it on my blog and me myself am satisfied with what i'm posting. this applied to all the platforms i would use as a content creator. so, one day i just stopped looking at the numbers. and my mind was much more at ease. now every time a post of mine blows up or it would get more recognition than usual, it would make me happy inside and i would be grateful but on the other hand if it would flop, i wouldn't care anyway and still be okay. and why is that ? well, that's because life comes in the way. other things happening irl outside of social media would keep my mind busier than having myself wasting my time by sulking over some digital numbers online. and i guess that's when one's perspective on wanting to gain more recognition on social media changes.

≫❥ anyways, i went a little off topic there heh. so, my blog would mostly consist of the dramas i've already watched or the ones on my watch list or if i find a pretty gifset, i'd rb it too :) i'm rambling on for too long now, oh god, my apologies (i mean i doubt anyone's reading this but that's fine, it's like more for me to get this off my chest).

≫❥ i guess with this post i'm trying to announce that i'll be back to this blog being more active with rb posts and i will also start making content again, but this time it'll be mostly different from the content i've been making so far. my usual content would be creating simple gifsets of scenes/dialogues but i've come across so many artistic and beautiful gifsets that i'd like to give it a try. also since i'm not up-to-date with on-air dramas, making gifsets of the dialogues and scenes from those dramas wouldn't happen—by the time i'd start those dramas people would have made gifsets of the scenes already anyway. this would mean for that kind of content i would give in a much greater effort into making the gifs looking more artistic/aesthetic and that's why i'd post less of my original work. but i'll still try to keep the blog active by rb other people's posts in q of course. however, right now my life is a little bit of a mess, i'm standing on a thin line between education and career, so i'd need some more time to sort this mess out first and then i'll change things up with my blog. i'm excited to come back though; this blog is still getting love from people even at times when it was completely dead and it's still growing which surprises me a lot and i am truly thankful for each of your support. i feel like i don't deserve this, i've been a terrible owner. but i'm willing to change that once i get my life atm together hahah.

≫❥ though i'm not sure how tumblr works now with the changes over the years, i'll just do me and somehow try and revive this blog again. i come back on here because i feel content browsing my dashboard seeing all these beautiful posts on here and i truly wish to come back to being a content maker like these wonderful artists too.

≫❥ ngl, i miss getting on/off anon asks in my askbox (although i wouldn't get that many but it still made me smile every time i received one no matter what it was about as long as it wasn't offensive <3). i missed talking to my friends and people on here. i missed rb ask game posts and get excited whenever someone reacted to it. i miss posting original content and reading other users' tags and them fangirling about a certain topic. i missed the times when i was interactive with my followers/mutuals. i miss the old times on tumblr. when i would have friends on here and a community that was warm and supportive. i wish to experience all of that again.

≫❥ lastly, thank you for listening (if you're still here, doubt so though hah) and so sorry you had to read through this all, i rambled on too much i guess oof. but if you're reading this please know that you're an amazing person. hope we could become friendsʕっ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ~♡

。.❁stay beautiful:·ﾟ*

·☾ﾟir。

[edensbuttercups]

a rose by any other name (would smell as sweet) - Jaskier x reader

Pairing: Jaskier x reader  Word count: 1.3k  Summary: You own a flower shop (One of the first ones, so this should be set around the end of the 1800s) and are minding your own business and waiting for clients to come in, when the first customer of the day turns out to be  a customer at all, he’s simply a man running away from the problems he caused with one of his conquests, and ends up running into you.  A/N: I’ve been terribly inactive ‘cause life has decided to be suddently hectic (in a good way, but still hectic) and my phone decided to stop working but I’m getting a new phone tomorrow and will probably finally be active again lol atm I’m just the ghost of a blog and I apologize. 

You opened your shop on a quiet morning. Few people were walking around this early, and you got to enjoy the beginning of the day with a hot drink, sitting near the ledge of the window, looking out at the early workers. You glanced to the side, waving happily when you spotted Thomas, the young boy that delivered the mail alongside his dad Joseph; Thomas jumped up and down, excited to see you, loving both you and the scent that lingered around your shop; he occasionally passed his afternoons in your shop, choosing his favourite flowers and creating a small bouquet for his mother or his sister. You stood up and approached them, smiling as they looked for your mail.  “How are you, Joseph?” you asked, leaning against the door. “Same old, dear. How are you?” “Doing good.” You smiled and kneeled down “and how’s my little assistant?” Thomas smiled at you, picking a small drawing out of his pocket. “For you.” he said proudly, handing you the piece of paper. You opened it, admiring the simple drawing that depicted you and the small boy victoriously holding flowers above your head. “I love it, Thomas, thank you. I’m going to hang it up here, in the shop, so everyone can see it. Is that ok with you?” he giggled, nodding enthusiastically. You soon waved goodbye, letting them get back to their job, ready to start your own day as well.  You glanced through the few letters they had handed you, finding the usual bills to pay. You sighed, walking back inside and singing along to a made up song. You placed the letters down and started sorting the flowers, throwing the withered ones out and making small bouquets to display. 

Not long passed before the bell rang, making you turn around, a smile on your face. “Hello and welcome, how may I-” you met two wide blue eyes, staring at you with a tinge of fear. “Hi. I hadn’t really planned on just barging in here but… I need to hide. Like, now. Please?” he pleaded, his eyes darting behind him ever so often. “I… guess?” you muttered, moving towards the back door. “Here!” you opened the door and quickly closed it behind him, just as some footsteps approached and some men came into view, walking into your shop. “Hello and welcome, may I help you?” you said once more, your tone less cheery this time, struggling to hide the anxiousness that you felt building up. Why was he hiding? And what if they found him there and blamed you too for whatever he had done? And why did this fool have to barge into your shop, of all the ones on the street? “We’re looking for someone. Did a man come in here? Brown hair, blue eyes?” “I’m sorry, you’re my first clients of the day. Now I might not have the man you’re looking for, but can I interest you in a lovely flower arrangement for your wives?” you offered, smiling amused. “I have a special offer for these bouquets, if that might-” you carried on as the men left, muttering something to themselves and sprinting back out, chasing a man they’d no longer find.  “Interest you.” you finished, twirling around and slamming your hand on the door, smiling and stifling a laugh, happy that the men made no noise as they left. “There’s nothing there, that’s just where I keep my spare parts!” you raised your voice, theatrically placing a hand on your forehead even if no one was there to see you. “No!” you shouted, quickly opening the door, letting it slam against the wall. “Eek!” the man shouted, slipping down to the floor and covering his face with his hands “Just leave my face alone, please!” he pleaded, peeking through his hands when he heard your laughter echoing in the room. “Oh, you…” he exclaimed, stopping as a smile appeared on his face as he looked at you, grabbing your hand and pulling himself up. “That wasn’t funny!” “Why are you laughing then?” you winked, turning towards the entrance of the shop and glancing behind the corner, checking that the men had left for good. “Well, the coast is clear.” you triumphantly said, facing the man and smiling. “Right. Good, good, that’s… good.” he looked around the shop, gently picking up a flower and bringing it up to his nose, breathing in the sweet scent. “So why were those men chasing you?” you asked, sitting on the windows ledge. “That. That is a good question.” he stalled, placing the flower back and waltzing around the room, studying each flower, each color, the way their petals twirled and curled around their stem. “I did something that they didn’t appreciate.” “That much was clear.” you smiled, studying as he raised his gaze before looking away, facing the other direction. “But, you know, it’s debatable. Is someone at fault if they do something that is indeed wrong, yet they aren’t aware of it being wrong?” “Cut to the chase, I don’t have all day.” your tone was harsh, but you still smiled, playfully scolding him to get the story out of him. “I slept with their sister. But she flirted back and she was fine with the whole thing! She helped me get out of their home without being seen, ‘cause she knew how her brothers would react, but we were surprised by one of them on their way home from god knows what. And that’s how this all happened.” He looked at you as you laughed. “Well I’d like to see you in my place!” “I have been. And I’ve never once been caught.” you winked and stood up, picking up a couple of flowers, wrapping them in some light blue paper and adding a bow. He raised his eyebrows, surprised and amused “So, a flower shop. Never seen one before. Can’t people just… pick flowers from the fields?” “They could. But wild flowers don’t last very long, and exotic flowers don’t grow here, do they?” “True. And why? Why open a flower shop?” you jumped up on the table, dangling your legs as you looked around, thinking. “I’m not sure. I always liked flowers, which is a huge plus if you end up working in a flower shop, but… I don’t know. I guess I saw the chance and I took it. I didn’t really have many other options, I’ve never wanted to work for someone else, and starting a business seemed like the most adventurous of options, so I did. And here I am.” “It suits you.” “What suits me?” “This place. The flowers, and just the general look of the place. It’s bright, and brings life to the city. I think it’s one of the only places here where I could just sit down and enjoy my time, without worrying about what I should be doing. And I don’t know, I just feel like you also… bring life… to the room.” he hesitated, nervously brushing his hands through his hair, standing up and taking uncertain steps towards the door. “Well, thank you.” you smiled, walking towards him and laying the small bouquet you prepared in his lap. “I hope you’ll come by to see me again. It does get lonely around here.” “I certainly will. And for this…” he lifted up the bouquet, smiling, finding his confidence once more, “thank you.” he reached for your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it lightly. “I’ll see you soon, then.” He walked out of the shop, thankful for the trouble that had brought him to hide in your shop, smiling at the bright colours of the flowers that he held so delicately. 

[theycallmemrgluskin]

// Sorry for my inactivity latly guys. I’ve not only been trying to hand raise two baby birbs but THREE! Yep one of our other babies was ready to come out of the nest as Mom and Dad were walking ontop of it and it was just time for baby to come out anyway. Still three more babies to come out of their nests but not until like another week or so. Meanwhile I named the other two Barf and Belch as they will both be green and its a unisex name, haha.

Also I fear my Mouse and possibily my keyboard on my laptop are starting to fail me. I noticed a few eyes don’t seem to work probably, like A and E and Y atm and of course my mouse is the buttons. I might have worn them down too fast although the mouse was fairly cheap. or should I say cheep cheep? haha

I’m actually working again...surprise surprise, but only a few days and then ‘none’ again. Pretty pissy but at least I’ve had a good day today at work. Infact I had two laughing fits that left me not only with tears in my eyes from the constant laughing but also stitches. haha. No not real stitches, but the cramp in the side of the ribs xD

Tomorrow I will be out for most of the day but I’ll try to get ontop of stuff. I’m starting to Feel more and more like Eggy’s blog is mostly just an ask blog, but I’m still going to continue his threads too. I’ll try and get to some starters and prompts too when I can.

OOO also yes inktober, I’m going to get to that. I’m thinking of just sketching the stuff up now because I’m spending way too much time sketching and then trying to ink it all out with a flush look. Its nice but yeah I might just step things up a bit.

[deadeclipseapcolypse]

Hey, Again. This one is real different from what i normally post. This is, right hand to all the gods/godess/deities, The full truth.To all of my followers and rebloggers, I'm sorry. I'm probably going to be less active for a long while and I'd like to apologize. Something bug happened recently and it's probably going to affect how active I am.

I came out to my parents, Mom spefically, and she isn't too happy. Like she has made me cut off all of my friends and most social medias! She keeps trying to shut me down and won't stop. So, if I can't respond, get super silent, or fall off the grid, I'm sorry. There isn't a lot i can do or so say here.

I can't promise that I'm going to be ok, I really can't. But, I can promise that my DMS will always open, Don't shy away. I'll try and get on with my school computer, So maybe I can be active on here that way. Again, I'm sorry. Sorry if I worried you, Sorry if i can't be active and sorry if I miss anything big. Again, I'm sorry!

Plus let's get real a moment. As someone who hides behind a chubby raccoon pfp and some real weird posts, Ya'll probably think I'm like mentally ill. But you couldn't get any closer to the truth. I struggle with Anxiety and depression, It gets hard. This is why about a year ago I was inactive. It gets real dark inside my head and most days I can't see out of it.

The only reason I'm getting medication to help with this is because I came out.

"Yeah, We're gonna get you medication. You're clearly in need of some helpers to fight off the devil." (The "Devil" is LGBTQAI Stuff.)

I'm going to repeat myself! The only reason I'm getting help, after begging for therapists, begging for something to help me, is because I came out as Nonbinary Pansexual. Ladies and gents, Nonbinaries, and everyone else in between, The only reason I can get help is because of Coming out.

I think if I didn't come out, Life woukd be much better atm. I'm ngl, I wouldn't have made it another 4 years. I probably wouldn't have been alive for another 4 years. Guys, I don't wanna die. But I knew that I wouldn't have been able to survive 4 more years of living in this house without some form of help.

So here is where I stand: I fall in the middle of my politics, more towards the left tho. 56-58. I am a member of the LGBTQAI+ Community, At the moment I am a Nonbinary Pansexual named Max and use they/them. I do NOT know who I will be in 2 or more years. I'm the VP of my schools Pride club. I am depressed and have been debating on calling hotlines to vent to.

If you happen to be worried, Need to vent or need a buddy, Feel free to DM me!(I'll be suprised if anyone actually gets worried tho-)

Thank you so much to my rebloggers, You've brought me joy. You are all wonderful and amazing people, Thank you all so much. :3 Ya'll really should be who you are and not let anyone shut it down! I know it may seem hard but I believe in you! 2020 may have been a sucky year, But let's finish out strong and make 2021 better!

I'm sorry and thank you again!

Lots of love ans support,

~Max

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 5 - “i want to see a live reaction to this in the reunion chat” - Maynor

Stephen

Ahahaha by the grace of the inactivity gods im still here. This is my karma for suffering through the preseason of Erinsborough. Now, I may not have actually gone home, but who knows I had an gut feeling and those are usually right.

Stephen

*laughing about surviving* Jay: Music Videos! *stops laughing*

Dylan C

me: [volunteers to edit for this challenge] me: [regrets this 5 min later]

John

ok i have a LOT of tea that needs spilled so sit back, relax, and enjoy this feature presentation:

-first things first, cormac. why couldn’t you have just voted. i would have one more ally and stephen would be out. so thanks.

-second, zoe told me about her advantage and how she has connections to the other side so that we should have a group of 5 at the merge. so that’s mind blowing. i’m just like in shock because in a way, cormac getting pulled allowed me to be zoe’s number 1. and that’s amazing. we stan.

-third, sierra is driving me insane. constant overdrive from her, and she’s starting to cross the divide between helpful and micromanaging. she can micromanage herself out of the game for all i care.

-fourth, timmy is ADORABLE. i’m definitely trying to get a cross tribal alliance with him bc wow. he cute. like really. he’s cute.

Keith John

Well if episodes are named here, This title of this episode would be "How you get screwed When tribal council gets Cancelled."

From being in a safe position last night to waking up and realizing that I am screwed in this game.

First of all, THANK YOU CORMAC for going out at the worst time possible. Last night my name was thrown out by Stephen. So obviously people entertained the idea.I do feel that I would have stayed but Cormac's evac has changed alot.

I had a planned final three with Cormac and Zoe, with Cormac gone. I'm down one alliance member.

Stephen is still in the game. And I know he is targeting me.

Maynor never spoke to me about the vote much. Inspite of me approaching him before tribal to see if he wanted to work together

John. who said he would have my back and would tell me if anyone would throw my name out. Never told me about Stephen's plan. I am sure he knew about it.

Sierra and I haven't bonded much personally. A little my fault there.

And Lastly Zoe. I know for now she definitely has my back. And I have hers but it feels like my game is extremely dependent on her. I feel alot of people want to work with her. And how long will she want to work with me? That I don't know.

Honourary mention: JAY thanks for throwing a challenge that I would suck at the most. I hate being on camera, Hate singing unless I wanna punish someone. 

Raffy

Cormac being gone kind of relieves me since he has been giving me bad vibes ever since day 1 of this game. Now that's just one more person that I do not talk to out of the way. I figure that merge is happening at 11 because Jay said there was a twist which can only mean that it is merge or that someone is coming back into the game. Maybe both. I'm just going to focus on winning this challenge for my tribe by providing the lip sync of my life. This shit is about to be so FIRE.

Raffy

I think I am fully in crackhead behavior. I just messaged 6 people at the same time trying to have conversations with them. This one world has made a mess of me, and I do not like it. Also, I am pretty much giving up on the idol because I don't want to go through the effort of hunting for it. So, instead, I'll just pray that it isn't used against me.

Maynor

Well. Now im not sure if Stephen vote was true or not but i have to rely on that my allies were gunna be with me. Its sad seeing cormac go since he was someone i connected with. But im glad it was done before tribal and not after tribal. Im hoping we could win immunity this round since im still feeling a little nervousish. 

Maynor

Catch me voting out John for calling Timmy cute.

Omg. Like i want to see a live reaction to this in the reunion chat. Them finding out we are dating. 😂😂

Raffy

I kind of put my neck out there in this challenge by suggesting the song. While I am not editing the video, I did make the song suggestion which is almost as important. Perhaps this could lead to my downfall. Furthermore, I talked to Dylan and they said that only themselves, Ellie, Justin, and I submitted videos which means we are missing Timmy's and Joseph's. Plus, editing takes a long time, so Dylan might not even use their videos if they are late. I just hope what people managed to film is enough. I've never won a music video challenge, and I am hoping this game can change that. I'm not that confident though. 

Raffy

I think I have made some strong connections in this tribe and the other. The people who I have talked about staying strong and working together include Justin, John, Dylan, Ellie, Timmy, and Keith. This seems like a diverse group of people that I can fall back on if one ends up turning their back on me. I always have to have back-up allies, otherwise I am liable to get voted out early in merge which I suspect is soon. I just want to establish myself in another alliance, but that seems hard in this game. I don't know who would be in that new alliance, but it would be some combination of the people I mentioned and others who I get good vibes from. Let's pray for me!

John

if rupaul was judging this music video challenge, she’d be telling us to sashay away. we are literally on the level of valentina with her mask on bad.

Ellie

Let’s hope that this damn video comes togather 

Stephen

We’re losing this challenge. Theres only about 4/5 of us in the video, a lot of the video is from the original music video and the rest is... ok, but not great. Dylan CI wanna say we have a better video but I'm gonna be the most biased on the tribe since I edited the damned thing for about four hours. I had to sacrifice some synchronicity a little bit towards the beginning to get Ellie in for the 10 seconds for the extra points. I had originally trimmed her clip to what I could match up the best, but then I double checked the post lol. Hope the judges don't care too much there.

Dylan C

I'm not even gonna go feral. I'm just gonna lay face down on my kitchen floor for a while.

Stephen

I.... okay, im not complaining. But yeah judges thanks but the fuck?

Dylan C

I'm like, actually upset right now? Like not so much that we lost, but that I spent all that time editing, when I've been worried about getting all my homework done this weekend but I volunteered to edit and wasn't about to back out cos that'd be shitty!!, only to lose by 20 motherfucking points. And also? I worked with what my tribe gave me bitch!!! Raffy was the only one who recorded the whole song, Justin did like half, Ellie and Joseph only gave me short clips, and Timmy was sick so he didn't film anything? I just wasted my entire afternoon and evening on this when I have real life shit I should've taken care of, but I made a commitment to my tribe, and for what? Tribal that's going to be happening while I'm at one of my Thanksgiving events! Granted, that was going to occur regardless upon losing since I'll be busy both Thanksgiving and the day after. But fucking still. Kinda just wanna ghost the world atm.

John

i’m kinda torn that we won. on one hand, we’re safe. on the other hand, i wanted to vote out stephen. so like, i’m feeling mixed emotions. these people will be dangerous to take to the merge. i hope it’s not next.

Dylan C

Kinda funny how I was so zazzed to be strategic at the start of this but I really haven’t been since. Strategy? I don’t know her. Also I’ve been ass about socializing one on one with ppl on the other tribe so I have a feeling that’ll bite me in mine. 

Sierra

By some miracle, we’re safe! I’m so glad that we don’t have to vote anyone out right now... especially because I don’t have my vote right now. Maybe I can make it to the merge and hide for the first vote there without having to vote. 

Joseph Collins

I am confusion. Dylan did such a good job editing. Our tribe and group is such a great mix of personalities and stories. And they came together to blend and make an amazing video. I actually got emotional watching it. I was very surprised to find out we lost. And now, we have to vote someone off our tribe. I hate it so much. I feel like it’s gonna be Timmy. He was absent in the time-crunch immunity challenge. Even Justin showed up and showed out which I thought was awesome. I like Timmy. And I feel like this is a hard vote for others so now I have to go be cutthroat Jo

Justin

Alright, so another tribal for us. I feel better than last time, but I'm still not 100% confident I won't be targeted again. Before the results for the challenge came in though, Raffy approached me and started talking to me some more about working together which makes me feel better keeping him around. Especially since I realized that he talks to me more than Ellie, so honestly I want her out now cuz whenever I talk about working together she leaves me on read. So, in conclusion I don't want you in the game lol. At least Raffy talks to me and says he wants to work with me, even if it might be fake. I told Joseph that I would like Ellie out, but he says Timmy cuz he doesn't talk to him and he feels Ellie could be our shield. I don't want him to go yet because I feel like he would vote with me, but I'm not jeopardizing my game to save him since he barely talks to me too. Although Joseph makes a good point that Ellie can make a good shield, I feel like we have other shields to hide behind in Raffy and Dylan. Plus, I feel like she has more connections than Timmy could get if he keeps playing the way he is.

Maynor

Im so happy that we were able to pull of the win in immunity. Im making it to the final 11. I really want to make it far in this game. I am really hoping Timmy stays alive. Like i know its bias cuz we are together. But we normally dont play the game together. Im just hoping we can make it far together this time. Plus ❤️ Jay. It would be amazing if i won this game. Me winning my first and last game would be pretty awesome. So im going to try my hardest.

Timmy

So apparently Justin is going around saying my name. Does this idiot not realize that I’m the reason he stayed last tribal we went to. Like seriously, and apparently he’s telling everyone the same thing that he’ll be with them always. And he calls me inactive, like sorry you message me at 9am when I’m walking into work and j can’t answer you until like 5pm when I get out. He better leave this tribal. I wish it was happening tonight just to also move things forward.

Dylan C

Me? Lying by omission to Ellie? It’s more likely than you’d think. Justin gave me her name earlier, and I tried to talk him out of it. He made a comment about keeping it between us. Now Ellie’s told me that Justin through her name out. “Between us.” Sure, Jan. And hey, I never mentioned it to Ellie or Raffy in our alliance chat (which exists as of last night). So I did keep it between us unlike him. Didn’t mention it because he had a decent point about Ellie’s strong social game, but now isn’t the time to try to get her out, IMO. Especially since I’ve just allied with her. Granted, I’ve turned on allies shortly after making alliances before but that’s not happening in this game. No way. So, I just acted like I didn’t know when Ellie told me and I’ll keep on that. That’s how I’ve been doing a lot: acting like some information people has given me is new to me (usually with Joseph tbh) when it isn’t new at all. Just kinda agree, maybe say I was already thinking about that, but not imply that I’d been Discussing it, depending on how I’m talking to.  

Ellie

So Justin is scrambling like HARDCORE, He threw Timmy’s name out and hen my name out right after saying that we were tight, and he’s so paranoid and it’s driving all of us crazy. Like we have until tomorrow night, chill out. And Jospeh really wants Timmy out but I’m like IF WE TAKE JUSTIN TO MERGE HE WILL FLIP WITHIN FIVE MINUTES!! Timmy might not be the most active but at least he’s fucking loyal. Raffy, Timmy, and I want Justin out so badly. Dylan is trying to listen before making a concrete decision, and Joseph and Justin want Timmy out. Justin even wants me out apparently.

RaffyA lot happened today, so I am going to break it down. Last night, Timmy, Ellie, and I (Just Go With It) discussed the vote early. Timmy suggested that we might want to get rid of Joseph or Dylan since he thought he would be able to sway Justin, since he considers Justin a close ally to him. That's when we all compared notes that Justin had claimed his apparent closeness to everyone on the tribe. This immediately put him on my radar as it could be a sign a double-crosser later down the road. As was not going to push anything since tribal was two days away, however I did talk with Ellie a little bit and she seemed down to vote Justin since she had a close relationship with Joseph and Dylan. While this was happening, Dylan created the Hypothetical Alliance with Ellie and I. This is great news since that means Ellie and I have control over two other votes (Timmy and Dylan) based solely on votes. In this way, whoever I wanted gone would go. Justin messaged me early in the morning asking about the vote. He heavily suggested that we vote for Timmy because he is inactive and bad at challenges, but those are the things that I want in an ally going into a merge. Besides that, Justin was asking incessant, paranoia-filled questions regarding the vote and would not let up. It is safe to say that he doesn't get that he's being incredibly messy and scramble-y when he doesn't have to be. The vote isn't until tomorrow, yet he's acting like it's in thirty minutes! The King of Crack right here! Anyways, so I told Ellie and then she was experiencing the same thing, so we then told Timmy. Timmy instantly wanted him gone which meant what I wanted from the beginning was going to happen. Furthermore, I learned from Ellie that Justin does not trust me and that he thinks I am vague and noncommittal. Not only that, apparently Ellie heard him say her name from someone. This dude is incredibly dangerous for my alliance! So, I was determined to see him go and to get everyone to go after him. Joseph was a tough nut to crack. He was very adamant today about voting out Timmy and keeping Justin. Apparently, Ellie got through to him, but I do not know how well that worked out for her. I have a feeling that Justin also said that he was tight with Joseph to the latter as he did with everyone. And Joseph thinks it is serious which means they'll be a powerful duo going into merge. I have to keep my eye on Joseph and make sure he doesn't slip from my grasp. Other than that, I managed to get Dylan on board with the vote as they thought Justin's paranoia and overall messiness was also a danger going into merge. Finally, Zoe approached me today asking who I felt good with. I knew she was sniffing for an alliance so I said Ellie, Dylan, and Timmy. She suggested that, since a merge was coming soon, that we create an alliance with Dylan, Timmy, and John making us a strong 5. I immediately agreed of course. A strong alliance helps me navigate the merge more comfortably and easily. Plus, in that alliance, I have Dylan and Timmy to have a majority over the decisions. So, if it came down to us 5, I would be good. Not only that, but this means that Dylan and Timmy will vote together in this tribal along with Ellie and I, ensuring that Justin goes to EoE. This is all working out for me. I do not know whether to tell Ellie about this alliance eventually, but I am planning on keeping it pretty tight-lipped for the most part. What doesn't kill her makes her stronger. And that's what you missed on Glee Johndamn. who knew i’d align myself with the perfect ride or die. she has an advantage and NOW she has an idol?! she is STACKED, and now i gotta protect her at all costs.

Maynor

Ive been talking to Keith a lot more now but heard from Timmy that people have been saying that he has been doing that with everyone so idk what to think of our bonding. Like i would like to think he would be on my side but who knows. We been talking about pokemon cards and the funko pops that i have. Its been fun. Im really glad talking to him more. 

Keith John

Due to thanksgiving. Tribal was moved a day ahead and everyone was busy celebrating. So things have been slow.

I decided to take the opportunity to complete the fox portion of the idol hunt. which turned out to nothing, As Zoe already informed me and Cormac that she got the advantage. after informing her I told her I will give the other path on the idol hunt a try. didn't want to go behind her back and do it. especially we are expecting a swap. this is my first time playing so I'm not sure that its a sure swap or another twist. 

Also finally I messaged Timmy again. After he didn't reply to me the first time. which was like 10 days ago. I know since I felt that I wasn't in the best position possible during the last tribal. I should have made an attempt before to talk to him as I need people, any people who want to work with me. But since I have had previous instances when I worked abroad, when people immediately snubbed or ignored me or changed their attitudes towards me when they found out that I am a Pakistani. N for a moment I felt like Timmy had decided that he didn't want to work with me. And me being a Pakistani was the reason. Which I guess is stupid on my part, I saw he added other people from the game to his skype. But didn't even reply to me. So When Zoe brought up the possibility of working with him. I decided to approach him again. This time he did reply. he seems nice but reserved. hopefully, we swap on the same tribe since we might have mutual friends who want to work together. But I would also like to make a genuine friendship with him and whether that becomes an alliance or not. that's to be seen.

OK Signing off for the night.

Timmy

People are quiet today in PMs but i hope that’s since we talked about tribal yesterday. Justin better be going bc he’s a snake ass bitch and I can’t deal with that shit.

Zoe

I got an idol, folks!!!!!!

I'm incredibly surprised at the rest of the tribe's laziness, considering I now have an advantage and an idol. The downside of the idol is that I have lost my vote next tribal, so now I really have to have trust in my tribe members and alliances cross tribal to keep me going through the twist, unknown as of five minutes before tribal. I predict a swap, but (not) knowing Jay makes me doubt that as well.

I'm still really sad about Cormac, but it's my game, not his game. As long as I can still count on my other connections, I'll just have to go on strong and know that it wasn't his time.

[duelb0t]

Oof ok! I was tagged by @dysfunctionalrobit to answer some questions so here we go I guess!

Nicknames: Chay, but when I was a kid I was called Perry by my father

Zodiac: Sagittarius, I’m not educated in sun or moon signs I’m sorry!

Height: 5’1. I’m really short I’m supposed to be taller but everyone in my family is so short I don’t really know what I was expecting.

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor! I used to be a hufflepuff but it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten it on the test

Last Thing I Googled: “be my cat film for Anne” it’s apparently a really fucking bad movie about a Romainian filmmaker who gets obsessed with Anne Hathaway (same tbh) I haven’t seen it but the poster is disturbing so I looked it up.

Favorite Musician: I love so many! But my favorite is probably kudasai who is lofi hip hop artist. Other than that, the Arctic Monkeys.

Song Stuck In My Head: “Fuck it I love you” by Lana Del Rey is so fucking good and I can’t recommend it enough

Followers on this App: 73! I’m nearly at a hundred and that’s so weird to me! Like I only shit post, that’s it. Either way, I am thankful for all of you, I love youuuuuuu 💕💕

Following: 48, some of them are inactive but if they ever came back and I wasn’t there to witness it I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.

Do I get asks: No! I wish I did but I’ll wait until I have more followers to even think about them.

Amount of sleep: I’ve been told that I don’t need as much sleep to operate correctly, but recently with golf and work, I sleep more. Anyway, on average I get like 6-7 hours of sleep maybe 8 on a weekend.

Lucky Number: 7. I don’t why but it is.

What are you wearing: Atm I’m wearing a white T-shirt and a black pair of exercise shorts.

Dream Job: historian! I love American history and I hope to work somewhere in that field.

Dream Vacation: Greece. I don’t have an explanation, it just seems like a really nice place to go and I like the food.

Languages: English and Portuguese. Portugese was/is my first language but I started learning English at like 4 so I’ve been speaking it for a very long time and I consider it my first language.

Instrument: I wanna learn how to play the harmonica god fucking damn it.

Favorite Song: “Somebody To Love” by Queen is a masterpiece and I love it with every fiber of my being.

Random Fact: I don’t have my left hand. I lost it in a freak accident when I was like 5. I’ve been working fine without it and I don’t really have an interest in using a prosthetic.

Aesthetic: I consider it the Lofi aesthetic? I’m not sure how to describe it but think of like boyfriend jeans and belts. Also like cozy sweaters and rain and shit like that?

I shall tag @titan-trio @darkmachi @luckylockets