#i have video proof i swear to god

[superfrogtime]

some day i need to tell tumblr the full story of how i went to watch the promare sub, the theater played citizen kane for an hour(???), and me and the literal 8 other people there cheered for gay rights

[netflixofficial]

"The truest form of intelligence is being able to explain a topic to anyon-"

No. Shut the fuck up, being good at something and being able to explain it are two entirely different skills. Being able to explain the overall concept doesn't make you any more intelligent than knowing all of the subject specific words does. Sorry I can't explain advanced concepts from my degree to you in under five minutes, but that's not how any of that shit works. The concepts build on each other and I'm not going to give you forty credits worth of information over a fucking coffee break.

[sea-of-dust]

You gotta be kidding...

5wirl x GN! Reader

Summary: They make a reference to something personal between you two while performing live. Almost putting a spotlight on you.

Notes: Modern AU, mention of irl video game and band: Remmber Sports (they're good recommend Tiny Planets),

Warnings: suggestive humor, swearing, never expect proof reading

He met you before he was an idol. High school to be exact. You two were in the same music class bonding over how much you dreaded your music teacher. "He sounds like a divorced mom.." "isn't he married?" "Exactly" you flop onto your desk

You two have been in almost every class together years afterward, just so you didn't have to work with a stranger for group projects. People would would find you two around school alot and walking home together. "And they were roommates," one of your classmates giggle as you two casually hold hands while speaking to eatchother, in reality, you both didn't notice

He was always so calm but also somehow could smell your problems?!? "Ughhhh" "Lemme guess they chewed gum loudly again?" You spring up placing your head back down. "Stop knowing based off my grunts!" "And you're mad at me for not noticing something earlier" "HA!-" "nm it's because I didn't let you sleep in" "...I genuinely despise you"

He started catching feelings midway through your first semester of the new school year. You did notice he sometimes hugged you tighter, looked at you a little longer, he even got small trinkets for you, noticing how fond he looked when you casually wore them.

It was by the end of the year he had told you he got a scouted as an idol, it took alot for him to tell you but it worked thank god you didn't ditch him like he thought.

"So uh..." "?" "I got scouted" your eyes widen, he thought all his fears came to life before you hugged him tightly and squealed. "I TOLD YOU YOU HAD A NICE VOICE!!" "You didn't have to yell" "Shut up you cry over stuff like this!" Now you were the one that oddly knew things about him...you were right...he did cry...alot like the whole group knew the next day.

The group try to hype him up into asking you out. "DUDEEEE COME ON THEYRE NOT GOING ANYWHERE" "I can ask to hangout" he mutters holding his phone in his hand "COME ONNN" venti and heizou sync up kazuha speaking up "ask them to go for dinner" his cheeks turn pink almost instantly "UH MAYBE NOT COME ON- WHAT IF-" "and sent" "WHEN DID YOU TAKE MY PHONE?!" "You'll live" Xiao rolls his eyes as aether bickers with him, his phone noti goes off. "Sure what time?" There's a silence in the room as Xiao gives him the phone. "At 4?" "bet ☆" you and those star emojis how are you like this. "ITS A DATE!!" "YEAAAAAAA" they sounded like a frat house.

He gets all giddy on that date and when you two finally go on one you finally hit the maybe were dating phase but you both don't wanna admit it to eatchother. So the rest of 5wirl planned something for you two. "Alr we know he likes them nowww...." "we...." "Why don't we perform for them" "on their friend ani?" "How do you know that..." they turn to heizou "because he saved it on his calander" "..." and so they planned out your ani for you two.

And so their evil plans acted out perfectly, you two went out on another date and later that day you dropped him off at the concert. What you didn't expect was heizou dragging you to a seat. "Stay right here and don't move alright" you watched them get on stage aether seeming to be looking for you, they get to performing when one of the lyrics hit you. "Hey why don't you meet me at four?" An almost slured pronunciation followed by aether finally finding you. His eyes so tender yet teasing. You felt your heart skip a beat a small wink only making you more bashful.

To think the performance would end there nope. As you tried to get off your seat aether greets you with a cheeky smile a small ring in his hand. You turn around quickly. "I guess I flustered you more than he ever will" he leans on you wrapping his arms casually around your waist while you continues to fluster you. "He was just a small crush..." "enough to have you gush for 4 months about it" he laughs softly kissing you cheek. "When did you even gain this much confidence" "small words of advice" your mind immediately goes to Heizou. "Alrighty then..." without a warning you pull your face closer forcing him to slouch over you. "Did heizou tell you what to do incase of this situation aswell?" Thank god that concert hall was almost empty and the seat you were at made it almost impossible to see you two because the next thing you see and hear are a bunch of idiots going YEAAAAAAAAAAA. Aether x y/n shirts and a poster held up by Xiao. They ship it.

You made cute accessories! He's seen your work on social media and reached out. "You're accessories are so cute do you have a store?" "Nah I only sell locally near my college" turns out you both went to the same college he's never did a double check so fast in his life. As soon as he saw you he cupped one of your hands, his eyes sparkling in pure joy. "GIMMIE EVERYTHING IN STOCK!" "HUH?!"

Number one fan he's following you around. He'd be your personal advertisement always wearing your stuff and flexing it to others. He WILL be the most annoying person on campus

When you tell him to stop he just kinda tilts his head until he realizes what your saying as if he finally loaded. "Oh! Alright!" That's when you make an almost massive mistake "I did enjoy your support tho but youre-" "SO YOU LIKE HAVING A FAN?!" And so began the simping. He's all over you. Every class your with him? He's leaning into you, whispering random stuff in your ear. Your eyebags got darker everytime he did this but he was more chill than your online fans.

The days you also leaned into him are the days you've never seen someone more flustered. "Hm?" You lift up your head watching him cover his face quickly. "Venti?" He turns away from you even more. "Don't look at me! Where did you even learn that-" "I mean you do that to me all the time" "don't say it outloud-" "did you just whimper?" He stops suddenly using is braids to cover his face as he mumbles to himself. You bring that up to traumatize him

He had to get used to you showing affection, you weren't even dating yet! Come on, don't do this! Even a small smile he'd tease you for it but he'd definitely scream into his pillow about it.

He only asked you out when you made your feeling for him known. A small note under his door telling asking him to meet up at an amusement park later that weekend was where it clicked he looked and sounded like a little girl you could hear his "YEAAAAAAAA" from your room.

He's doing everything he's on a call with the others he just needs them to hear his my story animated from start to finish. "Can you not play that effen punk music main stream shit can barely hear you" "Shut the fuck up hot topic this is important!" "This is why you fucked up your eyeliner" "I DID?!?!" He checked in his mirror realizing he didn't and mostly argued with Xiao. "If they ditch you you deserve it" "quit being a downer! Good luck Venti!" They all mostly wave at the camera before hanging up leaving you and him alone for the evening

He loved it. He was like a child pointing at things he wanted. "Do you have the money?" He looks away pounting "not an actual question I'll play for it" his eyes widen almost sparkling. You two left flexing your carnival game knowledge and venti covered in plush prizes you won for him.

As payback for the newfound plush army, he invited you to a concert. "Oh so you did have money" "Shut up" "hehe" your teasingly small laugh is so cute stop doing that. What you didn't know is that he strapped some keychains you made on his belt, and he NEVER STOPPED WINKING, if you had to drink everytime he found you in the audience and winked you'd have five drinks...per song. It was cute seeing him smirk whenever you slightly blushed at him.

"Y/n!!" He smiles as you wait for him outside the concert hall. "Lets go to another amusement park!" He giggles embracing you "right now?" "Yea!" He nuzzles his face into your chest "sure..when you take off all of those keychains Jesus how much did you-" "200 bucks" "...VENTI" "THEYRE CUTE I KNOW YOU EYED THEM!" You blush slightly smirking "I did...they look adorable on you" you struck him right in the heart leaving both of you flustered. "The amusement parks a few blocks away" "LETS GO!" as if it never happened you both headed to the amusement park.

You beat him at a rhythm game he liked. You got first in a video game event he liked since then him he's declared you his rival. "Who the hell is this guy getting in the way of the number one spot" he grits his teeth checking your profile. "347 full combed songs...300 all perfects...and maxed out cards" he rolls his eyes

He wanted to let off some steam at an arcade only to find out he got beat in that game also! With the same name tag as the rythum game champ. He nearly smashes the machine when he notices you step up to it. "Shame, this games kinda better when I'm kicking someone's ass..." You sigh only now, noticing him, smirking at this chance you take it. "You mind playing this with me?" You perk up. Thinking this is a good way to let off steam, he accepts. "I won't go easy." "Alright!" You let him pick the song and almost immediately grab the handbar

Strange, he thinks he doesn't need it. As soon as the song starts, he hears your feet absolutely slam on the board. He's shocked but doesn't look over he's focused on his side of the screen. By the end, you huff heavily, looking up. "You won." You put your fist up for a fist bump. "Ah that songs so annoying~" he dosent give you one back putting in his names for national ranks. That's when he noticed that you put in the name the person on every rythum game had and as soon as you pressed confirm he nearly pounces on you. "SO YOURE THE ONE TAKING THE NUMBER 1 SPOTS EVERYWHERE!" "Yea what about it-" he looks at you angrily, calming down a bit before turning back to you. "I declare you my rival" "well...If you wanna we could rematch sometime gimmie your number?"

Ever since then you two have skeduled days to go to the arcade to whale on eatchother and going out to eat afterword. "I'm pretty sure you'd like it reminds me of your face ☆" you say as you point to a horrible cgi skeleton. "Screw you" "heh". You'd eventually open up to him more and invited him out to places more often. He didn't wanna say it outloud but he genuinely enjoyed those moments

One of the times you two went, you try to teach him gutair hero, he kinda mumbles to himself. "You can just play on your lap" "hmmhmm mhm em You can't be this msm hm" "what-" he realizes he said that outloud and covers his face nearly dropping the gutair. "I didn't hear that last part" he sighs in relief "but do you think im cute?" And so he's even more ashamed of himself. "Context clues" you scratch your cheek in a bit of embrassment "I think you're pretty cute too" you embarssingly laugh leaning away

you're pretty sure you could see his heart skip a beat as he looks up at you, his face nearly entirely pink. Peaking at you through his hand. You decide to tease your friend. "Seems like you wanna date me~" He moves back quickly, covering his mouth to hide his blushing. "I'm fine with that ya know~" you lean into him him still covering his face. He looks away looking back at you,his eyes softening "I'm fine with the thought of kissing you..well maybe a little more than fine but-" your words were cut off as you feel his lips touch yours. Quick yet soft, his hands wrapping around your shoulders. You lean back trying to catch your breath "...how long have you've been waiting to do that?" "...a few months now" "That's kinda adorable Xiao" you lean in for another kiss. You two recount that day as your first date

Ever since then he's more willing to hang out a little more clingy too. Whenever he had a show he would ask you if you were busy that day before sending you the ticket link. "Hey are you busy on the 14th?" "No why?" He'd send you the link without a secound thought "you know I'm not really into idols that much" "I'm in the group..." "...bought"

He actively looks for you in the audience. You would text him where you were sitting beforehand, yet he'd still look like a lost puppy. As soon as he finds you, his eyes sparkled. He forced himself to calm down before giving you a small wave

It was by the end of the show where he was performing the last song and you noticed something about their dance it kinda looked like what you would do on a song you knew well. It was then that you realized Xiao made a dance routine inspired by your sweaty gaming dance. You covered your face in embrassment but peaked through your hands. You couldn't believe he paid that much attention to you. He smirks noticing this

As the show ends, he runs over to you, "That was...a little embrassing" you blush a bit. "..." "dosent mean I didn't like it tho!" Trying not to offend him further you mumble on of how great the performance was. At first he's pretty stiff with his arms crossed you'd think he was annoyed till he kissed you again leaning in to hug you. "I'm glad you liked it" he whispers ever so softly in your ear.

He offen saw you working on projects for bands he likes and decided to commission you. He invited you to a studio and you both began to focus on what he commissioned you on. "I'm looking for something calm yet something someone would listen to in the morning to wake them up..." "hmmm" you play a calm chord progression on your gutair. "Speed up a bit" he taps his foot as if keeping pace as you speed up your playing. "That's pretty good! Sounds like a Remmber sports song" " YOU LISTEN TO THEM?" "Yea?" "Oh my god I thought you wouldn't catch that-" "they're a bit of a guilty pleasure"

You two always worked together after that whenever he would be lost in thought you'd just play hall of the mountain king behind him. He'd turn around slowly as your playing got more intense. "You think of something?" "..."

You pretty much became 5wirl's offical gutairst after kazuha recommended you. They'd make fun of him for how long you two stayed at the studio together. "Kazuha~, you left us sleeping in the shopping cart again!" Venti grins ear to ear "must really like that gutairst." Kazuha smiles."They're just a friend I find it easy to get along with" he thinks about what you two were talking about his eyes softening as if it were an old fond memory "and he's doing it again" heizou sighs jokingly

A few months of performing together, they treat you as family, almost apart of 5wirl. As soon as Kazuha ever left the room they'd turn to you in a heartbeat. "You sure you don't kiss when we're not looking?" "Eh?!" "Does kazuha usually get all mumbly around you" "he does but-" "I KNEW IT" "dose he show you his unironic leaf collection" they all lean in expectingly. "No wha-" You made sure kazuha was too far to hear what you were about to say "...OK so this one time..." they listened to you like their lives depended on it.

The day you told them about that is the day you regret the most, they always looked you and kazuha up and down. Snicker to themselves. "How much you wanna bet they might kiss today" "CAN YOU TWO CUT IT OUT" you let out a sigh walking into the recording studio to practice, a familiar humming following you in a few secounds later. You two sing together and when you finish he finally speaks up. "You know... this the song I was playing when I first realized I was into you" "heh really" you stop strumming, realizing what he said "wait what-" he laughs softly at your reaction placing a hand on your cheek. "That songs kinda special to me..." he holds your hand tenderly with his unbandaged hand. "Reminds me of how much I love you" your eyes widen a bit as he looks at you with the most soft eyes. "I love you too kazuha" you smile gently, letting him lean in to kiss you

All of them noticed you two were dating it was odvious, the way you two acted around eatchother gave litterally everything away. "You two give eatchother less personal space than before are you dating?" "What?" "And you smell like him-" "how do you know what he smells like" "so you're dating?!" "How did you come to that conclusion?!" You and venti would bicker trying to hide your relationship with kazuha after he forgot to tell you he already told them.

Finally a show came along a small gig surprising a popular idol group would show, but still nice. You looked at the music sheet for the song looked up at him, sighed, and looked back. He looked so pleased giving you a few riffs and you look down to see another reason to go to therapy.

What he didn't put on hell on paper was a very veryyy familiar cord progression. He played it himself and put it in post. Making another version so if you ever asked you wouldn't notice, and a few weeks later they went live

You watched them in the audience, hearing the song you helped on and felt your smile fade into a straight face as you heard your solo along with the memorable melody gutair. He saw this trying to avoid a giggle while performing, he's suffering from you brainrot the rest of the show, some fancams caught him getting kicked by heizou or Xiao.

"So how did you like the show~" "Xiao almost kicked you off the stage..." There's a silence. "He dosent kick hard enough for that...but at least you enjoyed it" he smiles, pinching your cheeks and rubing your face, you look away hearing him giggle at your behavior. "I'll make you a coffee-" "don't you dare make a reference" he smirks at you "hehe"

You were online friends usually playing main stream games or random stuff you found. Youd always play together though, never single player! He hates that

"Are you playing a single player game..." "no-" "LIAR ITS ON YOUR STATUS" "SHIT- I mean I have no idea what your talking about" "...atleast stream it" he always got all pouty when he couldn't play with you

He'd definitely randomly interrogate you because you found something out on someone you both knew. "IS IT ABOUT-" "shush shus shu stfu quiet" "oh come on dude what is she gonna hear you?" "We're in a public call" "oh...LMAO" "DUDE"

When you combine both these loves, his love for you playing a co-op detective game with you has become the best thing for him to ever experience. "Who will be first to solve this?" "We're supposed to work together heizou" "oh...oh 😏" "nevermind I'm gonna play hitman without you" his avatar suddenly turns to face you and emotes a shocked reaction "OH COME ON"

He started catching feelings for a while. Ever since you two got on a call for the first time, your voice kinda intransted him. "Your voice Is so nicee" muttering into the mic yet you heard him clearly. "Thank you?" "It really is" its like you can see him currently slumped over his desk just day dreaming about you.

Didn't stop your offline friend for teasing you about him too. "Ooo he's into you~" "nuh uh nope nope!" The tips of your ears turn a pink. "And you like him back might aswell seal the deal" "STOP IT!" Blushing heavily you slam your hand down. Unsurprisingly Heizous in a simular situation 4nemo teasing him over just how much he talks about you. "Ohhh they're so cool" "they smell nice" "stop mocking me" he huffs "then get with them" they say in sync "stop weirdly harmonizing" he sits down covering his currently pink face.

Didn't help when you two first saw eatchother. "What the hell you live so closeby" "I know right what's next you're at my favorite Cafe conveniently the next table over" you turn over your shoulder seeing someone smile at their phone turn back and type "you mentioned before you had moles under both eyes right?" The persons face dropping looking around."Yea?" Without typing back, you walk over sitting infrot of him. "Bro, someone's sitting at my table, hold on" you smile at him typing back "oh sorry lemme just leave then my mistake 😔" "WAIT HUH?!?!" his eyes widen as he grabs your wrist "y/n?" small tears forming in his eyes pulling you into a hug with desperation. "Heizou" he hugs you tighter when he hears his name come out your mouth. "You're as pretty as I thought you'd be..." patting his head as he nuzzles into your chest. "You wanna go back to mine after this" "Yes!" With sudden enthusiasm, you two talk about your irl lives while bullying his drink of choice. "Pumpkin spice.." "oh my god shut up my again" "it's nasty" "it's good to me!!" "Shut up mom with 2 kids living in a van"

He's been going to your house at least once a week now "we should play together" he overbites his lip "I barely charged my secound controller" you overbite your lip back at him "then let's just hang out then I got news bby" visibly cringing at that last bit you let him in with him near instantly showing you a picture of him being accepted into an idol group. "Ohh you're gonna have real fangirls now" "Shut up!" "I'm gonna lead them just to make fun of you" "you're the only fangirl I'd date" "..." You visibly cringe "OH COME ON" "HAHAHA"

And so you were invited to the hell known as a debut concert and dear god was it near impossible to not be as hype as the crowd. Especially catching the fancams with him winking at you. Anyone could tell he was super inlove with whoever he was winking at especially after the group stopped in between a song witch you were barely paying attention to until you heard "I hope you guys never have to play solo!" Could have swore you felt him glare at you "speaking of solo the next songs title is-" all you paid attention to yet you look like you just woke up from a really loud noise.

"Y/n! Did you see it! Did ya like my moves" he smiles at you like a happy little dog. "It was surprisingly great Heizou" "surprising huh?" He pouts as if saddened by that comment. "But the show was amazing Heizou I'd go again" that bright glow of a smile you had is something hell never let go of, without hesitation he holds your hand "marry me" "come again?" "I mean it we should date!" Accidental slip up. He's screwed, you're gonna reject him so blatantly he's never gonna bother you again. "Heizou...that's so sudden" your eyes meet warmly "but I've been thinking the same" kissing his cheek you walk off letting him process what just happened. "WAIT WAIT WAIT YOURE NOT DITCHING ME AFTER SAYING THAT" "MAYBE I AM!" You had to run home that day but it was worth it laughing at him trying to keep up.

[gendercomsumer]

hiii ^^ I would like some headcanons for riddle, malleus, vil and rook with a fem mc that accidentally ends up making them laugh (because what she says or does is very random xd maybe an example would be like jennifer lawrence sjjs she is very funny ) well that's all, thanks and take care <3

Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook with an S/O who can make them laugh with the most random things

A/N: Hello to you too Anon! I know this has been in my inbox for gods knows how long- But thank you still for sending this in! I hope this is to your liking! I actually did watch some Jennifer Lawrence videos for inspiration and I have to agree the comedic timing she has is perfect!! I also used some google translate in Rooks part so it may not be accurate ^^;

Characters: Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook

Warnings: Cursing to a mild degree, playful mention of stalking in Rooks (I love him I swear!!!), lightly proof read

Fem!Reader

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is a bit difficult to get a good genuine laugh out of, at least in my opinion.

Like sure you have a small chuckle when he finds something amusing, but i feel like it'd be a bit of a challenge to get a good genuine laugh out of.

Then you came in, saying the strangest things at the most unrelated times!

And Ace and Deuce find this absolutely hilarious

You'll say the most out of pocket shit with the straightest face and somehow half the people around you start to laugh some others breaking out in giggles

Ace and Deuce have definitely talked about this 'talent' of yours, at least in their words.

You had said some of these strange comments around Riddle and he found them strange a bit endearing as well

I'd think the time you got a good laugh out of him was when you had come with him to take care of some of the hedgehogs

The two of you were sitting in the grass some of the hedgehogs were playing while a few had decided that climbing on the two of you was a good way to pass the time

One had wandered up onto your head and almost fell off but luckily you were able to save the little guy before he fully hit the ground

After Riddle worriedly checked the little guy over you while looking over his shoulder at the small animal said:

"Well at least we know this one has no self preservation"

Unwillingly, or maybe subconsciously, a small laugh makes it's way through Riddles chest to his lips.

Well, now maybe he saw what those two were blabbering on about

Your little comments were always appreciated with Riddle

Even if they didn't cause him to laugh they did brighten his mood at least somewhat

"Yes, this one does tend to be a bit of a handful. Reminds me of a certain rose I know"

He teased before you two fell back into the pattern of caring for the small animals

More chuckles and comments to come no doubt

Malleus Draconia

At first Malleus didn't understand why the rest of Diasomnia found your remarks so comical

Yes his child of man did tend to bring a certain warmth where ever she walked

But he didn't see this as an excuse for the amount of laughter you cause people around you

Most of the remarks you make will fly over his head

I'm sorry but he seems like the kind of guy to not get the joke until you explain it to him-

Now the Thorn Prince does share a few chuckles with those around him when he finds something amusing, similar to Riddle

But it's even more difficult to get a laugh out of him considering he doesn't get a lot of the play on words type of jokes

but something abrupt and slightly out of context?

I feel like that would get some sort of laugh out of him

One day you were talking with Malleus about some of the things you did in your old world

The topic of amusement parks came up and you started listing the rides you used to go on as a child

Roller coasters, bumper cars, lazy rides where you could relax, until you blanked on the name of a ride

It was frustrating considering it was probably something simple and you would remember it after their conversation, but you wanted to keep the ball rolling

Malleus mean while was partly enjoying seeing how frustrated you got over a simple word

You really were a strange thing weren't you Child of man?

"I'm sorry Mal- I know what I'm thinking of! It's on the tip of my tongue- It's like one of those horse tornado things!"

Horse.. tornado..?

Now that got Malleus attention

he understood the other rides you described, favoring the lazy rides

but what ever this horse tornado was... it sounded.. strange, yet curious at the same time

"CAROUSELS!! FUCKING CAROUSELS, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLED!"

Malleus let out a small puff of air before he started chuckling under his breath

You truly were a strange one weren't you child of man, just like the world you came from

Malleus pressed a kiss to your forehead letting out one more chuckle before speaking

"Truly fascinating, maybe one day you could bring me to one of these 'horse tornados' you have me interested"

Sure jokes your fly over his head, but he would tease you some what for your small skips in memory

Vil Schoenheit

Now Vil, having acted in a lot of movies, (If I'm correct) Would have probably had a few good laughs in that line of work

Weather that be on set or behind the cameras

But he doesn't often let out a good laugh in public, it's not really part of the proper image he'd want to put out there

As for behind closed doors or with close friends he's definitely willing to have a laugh

And who better to bring a smile to his face than his lovely sweet potato?

Though one good moment always stuck out to him that caused him to have one of the most genuine laughs in awhile

The two of you were getting ready to go out to a fancy restaurant, courtesy of Vil of course, hair, makeup, shoes things like that

While Vil was sitting at his vanity working on his eyes when you came out of the bathroom in a stunning dress hand picked by Vil

It brought out all your best features while still being enough coverage to where it wasn't uncomfortable to wear into a public area

The two of you made idle conversation as you sat on a near by chair to slip on a matching set of heels for the dress

As you stood up in the heels to work on your own makeup you lost your balance thanks to the new height the heels provided

Although Vil was quick to catch you making sure you came no where near the floor he still was concerned

"Oh sweet potato are you alright? What happened?"

Yes looking back on it the question seemed dumb but he was concerned

but you just let out a giggle while regaining your balance before saying:

"Well I'm not sure what happened, but I remember wanting to yell 'fuck' as my last words before I embarrassed myself"

Vil took a moment while looking at you

then a chuckle escaped his lips which soon turned into the two of you sharing a small laugh

Now Vil doesn't know why he laughs at your antics, in hindsight they're just normal phrases

But maybe it's the delivery?

Or the way you smile at him?

What ever it may be it always causes a smile to grace his lips or a chuckle to be drawn from him

Sure Vil maybe all about preserving beauty and making sure he looks flawless

But if he happens to get a few smile lines because of your antics, he will never hold it against you

"Well my darling, I'm glad to hear you're alright. It would be a shame if you or your lovely dress got roughed up before we left. Now come, you still want to do your makeup don't you? Allow me to help"

Rook Hunt

Now Rook has plenty of laughs in his life

Weather that be from stalking some poor soul or a genuine laugh among friends

Rook out of the four is probably the easiest to get a laugh from

He's a joyful guy wanting to see all nature and the world has to offer! Can you blame him?

Then enters you who some how can't help but leave Rook giggling when ever you do something!

You put your tie on wrong? Oh silly Trickster aren't you just the sweetest thing!

Then comes your words which to Rook is a whole new ball park

Rook tends to hold onto every word meant for him, weather that be written or spoken out loud

His darling Tricksters words are so elegant and so sweet how could he not treasure everyone!

What really gets him chuckling and laughing is the moments when your words aren't as sweet and graceful

Cut to one day when you and Rook were in the fields often used for flying class

Rook had a desire to teach you archery so he happened to drag you along with a quiver and bow to some targets set by his hand

After the first few moments of Rook teaching you how to properly hold and aim the bow and making sure your arm guard was secure (He wouldn't want his darling trickster to get rope burn!) He let you shoot

All was going well as you hit targets in an... acceptable way

But all that seemed to end when a large gust of wind sent your best shot yet off course and into the ground

And just as Rook was about to offer some encouragement to keep going and try once more

some colorful language came from you to say the least

"Wind!? Really!?! Could you not wait two fucking minuets!! Nooooo! You just had to thro my best shot off course you-!"

Now don't get Rook wrong he hold the sweet words you two share close to his heart

But there was just something about you yelling at the wind of all things that caused him to start laughing

As he laid on the grass of the field eyes closed as he laughed

Oh? It seems your colorful language is directed towards him now? Even better!

"Trickster- reine de mon coeur! Please I believe- I believe you have shared plenty enough words with the wind today!"

A/N: This is actually the first time I've taken a good look at the name of Malleus' dorm. Dia = Dragon. Somnia = Sleep

Diasomnia = Dragon of sleep

just a ting i found silly :)

[worldlxvlys]

Omg could you do a Matt version of the tiktok au thing you just made for Chris PLEASE IM BEGGING

TIK TOK

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: cursing, sexual jokes

a/n: since y’all liked the chris one so much, here’s the matt version !!

*click yes to actually watch the edits*

WATCH VIDEO ?

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

it’s me guys, i’m people 🤭

@lustfulslxt

the things i’d let that man do to me

-> @ y/n the things i’ve let that man do to me

-> @sleepysturnss OH ????

-> @sturncakez care to share w the class 🤨

@sophssturn

MATT + CARNIVAL IS SO 😫

-> @xoxo4chrisss I’M SAYINGGG

@ y/n

is it crazy to say that i moaned at this edit ??

-> @mattsneezing yes (same)

-> @mbbsgf it’s ok i moan every time i see matt 😋

-> @mattslolita i’ve found my people 🥰

@chr1sgirl4life

i’m a chris girl, i’m a chris girl, i’m a chris girl

-> @ y/n that wasn’t very convincing girl

-> @venusxsturnio it’s ok to love them both

-> @ y/n ok katherine pierce 😍

WATCH VIDEO ??

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

my eyes just rolled into the back of my head

-> @ mattsturniolo proof ? 👀

-> @freshloveee oh my !

-> @queen161718 MATT 😭

-> @starsturniolo i feel like i’m interrupting

@ y/n

THE RINGS THE RINGS THE RINGS I’M GONNA PASS OUT OH MY GOD

-> @ mattsturniolo this is why i wear them

-> @defnotayonna awww how sweet

-> @ y/n no not sweet he’s trying to kill me 😫

@robins-scoop

i’m in love with matt’s fits

-> @smoothies-are-cool i’m in love with matt’s face

-> @55sturn i’m in love with matt’s tats

-> @ y/n i’m in love with matt

-> @urmom2bitch i’ll be sleeping on the side of the highway tn !

@ y/n

this song is actually me @ matt

-> @sturniolowhore this song is actually me @ u

-> @hearts4chriss nah real cs chris is my man but matt ???? good lord 😮‍💨 (don’t tell chris)

-> @ y/n ok i won’t girl !! (@ christophersturniolo)

-> @ christophersturniolo this is why i have commitment issues 😕

WATCH VIDEO?

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

the amount of times i’ve made matt do push-ups in front of me bc of that one clip 😫

-> @bernardenjoyer girl next time record it tf ??

-> @ y/n who says i didn’t ????

-> @readerakayourname sharing is caring babe

-> @nikolastrn gatekeeping isn’t nice

-> @ y/n i fear i’m just not ready to share yet

@breeloveschris

my man is just so 😫

-> @ y/n aren’t you a nate girl ?? worry about him 😒

-> @rootbeerworshiper exactly like stay away from MY man tf

-> @ y/n nah girl nice try tho

-> @luverboychris my man’s brother looks so good here

-> @ y/n yesss there we go, chris is all yours bae

-> @ christophersturniolo DID YOU JUST GIVE ME AWAY ??? 😟

-> @ y/n uh….no 😄

WATCH VIDEO ??

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

GOD DAMN MY MAN IS FIIINNEEEE 😫

@ nicolassturniolo the way i just watched y/n fall to the floor while watching this

-> @endereies SHE’S SO REAL FOR THIS

-> @raysmayhem-72 she’s me, i’m her

-> @ christophersturniolo YOU EVER MAKE A BITTY HIT HER KNEESSSS

-> @ y/n chris stfu hoe you literally fell to the floor too

-> @ christophersturniolo CAUSE YOU PUSHED ME ??

-> @patscorner stop fighting guys, can’t we all just get along ??

-> @ y/n tell chris to stop and i will

-> @bernardsbendystraws nah keep fighting y’all, this is my chance to snatch matt up from y/n

-> @bueckerssturns you go, i’ll keep her distracted

-> @ y/n Y’ALL KNOW I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS RIGHT 😭

-> @junnniiieee07 you’re dreaming rn none of this is even happening

-> @ y/n NOT YOU TRYING TO GASLIGHT ME

-> @ christophersturniolo gaslighting isn’t real you’re just crazy

-> @ y/n i swear to god chris

WATCH VIDEO ??

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

i’m on my knees for this man

-> @ mattsturniolo aren’t you always ??

-> @teapartyprincess4two the way my jaw DROPPED

-> @imwetforyourmom OH MY GOD ???

-> @chrisloyalgf god, it’s me again 😔

@ christophersturniolo

just watched y/n add this to her matt folder of over 3k edits 😍

-> @ y/n the next time you ask me for a ride i’m letting your ass walk

-> @yamamasjumpercables WHY DID CHRIS EXPOSE HER LIKE THAT 😭

-> @vanteguccir this is what i mean when i say me and y/n would be best friends

-> @selenascorner me and y/n might actually be the same person

@ y/n

chris over here acting like he doesn’t have a matt folder of his own…

-> @ christophersturniolo i’m done with this app for the day 😒

-> @chrisstopherfilmed chris just got ate tf up

-> @bbglmfao she clocked him quick too

@evieolo

watching chris and y/n beef in the comments under matt edits is the highlight of my day

-> @l0ser43v3r they’re always exposing each other 😭

-> @ineedchriscock matt is always lurking and just watches it

-> @ y/n he thrives off of watching the chaos

-> @ mattsturniolo you’re not wrong

CREDITS:

@ m6ttfilms on tiktok

@ hcrrysgf on tiktok

@ stvrnielo on tiktok

@ skyesturniolo on tiktok

@ .sturniolocentral on tiktok

masterlist

[kkatsukiss]

ugghhhhhhh thinking about how you n katsu continuously go back to each other… no matter how many years it’s been…

content warnings: swearing, smut (phone sex kinda?), mentions of fingering & blowjob; not proof read!

—

it’s been on and off since grade school, you’ve dated people, he’s dated people but you’ve never dated each other. and when you’re in a relationship and he’s single, he needs to be removed and when he’s in a relationship and you’re single, you have to be removed — you can’t trust yourself with katsuki in your phone and neither can he. it’s a constant cycle and you know when it’s about to happen after you’ve just broken up with your boyfriend of a year.

first it’s katsuki adding you on socials again, liking your posts and then it’s:

bakugou katsuki added you on snapchat!

that’s when you know the cycle is about to begin once more. you try to resist adding him back, and he waits patiently because he knows that you can’t resist him. hell, if he was in your position he wouldn’t be able to resist you over the phone, much less if he saw you in person.

what starts off as a few snapchats here and there turns into snapping every single day and then it’s conversations catching up…

and then it’s provocative photos of you in your skimpy little pj set, sending him the perfect angle for him to snap you back immediately with a shirtless photo and one thing leads to the next, he’s sending you videos of him stroking his pretty cock that has you clenching your thighs at the sight.

suddenly, you’re having flashbacks about the time you fucked katsuki at a house party. both too drunk to remember, but boy, was it good. the way that his cock fit so perfect and snug up against your gummy walls with each thrust — it was engrained into your memory.

next thing you know, you’re sending him videos of you playing with your pussy, but not showing him all of it because of course, what’s the fun in that? you love the effect you have on him as he loves the effect he has on you… unbeknownst to you, he manages to catch that small little whimper as you glide your blue vibrator over your swollen clit.

“y/n, oh my fucking god,”

“your moan is so perfect,”

“i wanna hear that in my ear while i fuck your pretty pussy,“

he tells you exactly what you want to hear and you know he’s doing it to get what he wants.

he’s telling you how he missed that time senior year of highschool where you gave him the best head of his life and had him shaking and that he wants nothing more than to eat your pretty pussy out until you cream all over his face after you tell him your ex boyfriend never ate you out…

maybe another chance won’t hurt?

—

guys this was SO self indulgent. pls. (i kinda wanna make this a series)

[rafeyscurtainbangs]

Please Please Please - Rafe Cameron Short Story (Part 1 of 6)

+18 Minor DNI

Older MobDealer!Rafe x Female Reader

🪄 re-uploaded because I had to make a new account.

⭐ republished ⭐

+18 Minor DNI

3333 words

Warnings contain spoilers: domestic assault, cheating, swearing, name-calling, gaslighting, threats, and mentions of killing partner, general violence. Every chapter after this, will have Rafe as the focal point.

📖 Loosely based on the song and music video Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter 💕

✨“Stopping in your tracks, you watch the tall blonde struggle to break free. He grits his teeth, fighting against the cuffs, his broad chest gaping at the buttons of his black button-down shirt. He looks like he’s been through it; a gashed lip, the bottom of his pressed shirt half-tucked, his hair messy and sweaty against his dewy, tanned skin.”✨

*blue font is present day

Reader’s POV:

Red wine, Tony’s favorite, Cabernet Sauvignon specifically. Tokara Telos, the first bottle of wine we shared on our very first date. Fitting for our two year anniversary. Slowly swirling the glass you watch the rich red wine cascade down the side. You look at the oven, eyeing the clock, watching a second hour pass. Nine… Dinner was set for seven. Where the hell is he? Maybe he texted me? Maybe he’s in a business meeting gone long or wrong?

Unread to read. Your heart skips a beat as you watch the three dots impatiently; Tony finally acknowledging you, letting you know where the fuck he is and what the hell he’s doing.

Nothingness.

The three dots disappear leaving behind the disappointing chain of messages.

Is he with someone else?

I hate that that’s where my mind goes first, since he’s assured me time and time again he’s faithful and I’m paranoid. It’s hard to give him the benefit of the doubt when there’s so much to doubt. Every excuse just sounds so fabricated with him, corroborated by his goons so I don’t have a leg to stand on.

Then there’s the talk around the country club… It’s just whispers, no real proof, but I swear it’s so goddamn loud. I’m rarely at the Island Club, but when I am, I can see the eyes on us. The cutting watch of women who Tony could possibly be seeing on the side; gossip shared just out of earshot. Everyones’ pity and focus always seems to be directed at me.

It’s embarrassing to feel like everyone knows my drama but me. No one opens their mouths. Ya know why? They’re scared… Scared of him. And I don’t blame ‘em. I’d be scared too.

So here I sit. Getting stood up by my boyfriend while he’s out doing god knows what, with god knows who, because he can. He can do whatever he’d like, break my heart, bruise my ego, because deep down I know there’s nothing I can do… The day I met him was the day I lost myself.

“Vlad,” you call from the kitchen, your voice bouncing off the walls of the lavish estate. “Vlad?”

“Miss?” Tony’s driver comes around the corner with a broad smile, taking in the smells of whatever lingers of the now cold pom de terre. “Smells delicious, Miss. I didn’t know you were a cook.”

“I’m not,” you sigh through a labored laugh. “Just thought I’d make what we had on our first date,” you hum, hearing the drunken slur in your own voice. Vlad cocks an eyebrow, clocking it instantly. “Umm… Dinner was supposed to be at seven,” you sough, gesturing with your glass toward the clock. “Do you know where he-”

“How was lunch with Anna?” He cuts you short, quickly changing the subject, leaving a sour taste in your mouth.

“Where’s Tony,” you return, trying your best to level your wavering tone, dismissing his “pleasantries”.

“The office-”

“What office exactly?” You snip, knowing it’s the Law Firm or The Country Club. Vlad’s gaze casts to the floor. He shuffles his Italian leather boot anxiously, not as good with his “excuses” as the other men on Tony’s payroll. It’s a wordless answer nonetheless - The Country Club. “Can you take me there? I want to make sure he has some dinner. I’m assuming he’s been there all day. The meeting just went long?” You ramble, without a verbal answer from him, gathering your things to leave as the older man flounders.

"Miss…” He cautions you, taking his turn with a faltering tone, making matters worse for Tony.

“Is there an issue?” You ask as you lift an eyebrow in his direction.

“Mr. Marietta is in an important meeting. As you know, they’re not usually the safest situations, and he demands your safety. Tony expressed to me that he would be home late. Would you like me to call him and ask when he’ll be coming home?” You roll your eyes, chuckling in disbelief as you stroll past him.

“I am perfectly capable of that,” you breathe as you snag a new bottle of red wine, heading out the door.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦

The Country Club comes into sight, the gaudy neon sign flickering from a distance. The parking lot is packed, littered with cars; always jam-packed on the weekends. Kooks, Pogues, and tourists alike all brought together for their shared love of pussy.

“Park there,” you guide from the backseat as you spot Tony’s blacked-out Maybach truck parked under the streetlight. Vlad locks eyes with you through the rearview mirror.

“Would you like me to call him before you go inside, Miss?” You shake your head ‘no’ as you look out the window, drawing a deep, nervous breath before pushing out.

What am I walking into?

“Y/n?” Luis, Tony’s bodyguard and bouncer, calls from his seat outside the door. “What are you doin’ here?” He looks in all directions for watchers-on anxiously, the blood drained from his face like he’d just seen a ghost. Only a handful of people even know that Tony owns this shithole. To virtually everyone on the Island he’s just another Kook King. The Marietta to the Marietta and Klaus Law Firm. This is simply a front for something bigger, something Tony can use to wash his dirty drug money; a front. “You just missed Tony,” he lies through his gold-capped teeth.

“He’s here,” you smile as you step toward the door, grabbing the handle. Luis rests his large palm on top, looking down at you blankly. “He’s in a meeting, Miss.”

“And-” You ask as you twist the knob, but Luis doesn’t budge. “Move.”

“No.”

“Get the fuck out of my way,” you snap. Luis’s jaw tightens as he shakes his head ‘no’ standing firm. “You said he wasn’t here. Now he’s here and I can’t go in? That’s my fuckin’ boyfriend,” you hiss.

“I have orders, ma’am.”

“Orders?” You scoff.

“Orders-”

“Pussy,” you spit, turning on your heels, heading back where you came. Plan B. You pick up speed, clipping down the asphalt before he can intervene, following the line of men waiting outside, before slipping through the front door.

Your head hangs low as you walk through the dim, seedy hallway, pushing past patrons sauntering in and out of the gentlemen’s club. The main floor. I’ve never been here… The office is the farthest I’ve gone. You catch a few familiar faces from the Island Club, their eyes doubling in disbelief and shame for seeing you here and being seen themselves. Music blares as you storm toward the back; beautiful women dancing on the stage in nothing but Pleasers for the swarm of men gathered around, flicking and raining ones on the stage.

“Yes,” you gasp as you watch a stripper step out from behind the back-of-house door; catching it before it swings shut. Just a few paces and you’re there. You slide in your key and open the office door without a second thought, ripping off the bandaid.

Nothing… The office is dark, only the light of Tony’s laptop glowing in the empty post. Maybe he is gone. You step toward it, letting your heart rate settle as you circle his desk.

The corner of your lips curl into a trembling smile as you see a framed picture of the two of you on his desk. A post-it note affixed to the top with a reminder for tonight’s date.

Maybe I am paranoid… You pull out his large leather desk chair, taking a seat. Drawing a deep, needed breath, you let your shoulders fall, releasing some of your tension. It doesn’t explain why his truck is still here… Your eyes flash open, returning to the worry at hand landing on a bar napkin. Red lipstick.

Your stomach sinks as you hold the note, your eyes flicking to the laptop screen. Oh my god. Your heart shatters as you watch a blonde bounce on Tony’s lap, his lips locked on hers.

“No…”

“I know,” you sigh as you relax your head back onto the cold brick wall of Kildare County Jail, looking up at the ceiling.

“Did ya kill 'em?” The woman asks in a gruff tone as she crosses her arms over her chest, tits spilling out of her tattered, lace bralette as she snaps her gum. “S'that why you’re in here?”

“Thought about it? But no. That’s not why I’m here.” You open your heavy eyes, taking in your surroundings, contemplating all the choices that landed you here. The worst of it, ever being with him in the first place.

“So, what happened next?”

“Well…”

There’s a brief separation as Tony draws away from their kiss, staring toward the door of the Champagne Room. Luis… He must have figured it out. Tony pushes the stripper off his lap, gathering his clothes as he frantically dresses.

Here we go.

You hear the muffled bang of the first door and the gritting of his key working the lock on the second. You watch as the knob twists, light flooding the room as Tony pushes into the office coming toward you fast. Tony grabs your shoulders, and you fight him off. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me,” you snap.

“Baby, please. You gotta talk to me? What’s going on? Why are you so upset? Please just talk to me,” he pleads like he’s done before; times when I gave him the benefit of the doubt; times when I believed I could be the problem here. “We weren’t doing anything.”

“Tony!” You cry. “Are you fuckin delusional? I saw you fuckin’ that stripper with my own two eyes.”

“Princess, she was just dancing. It was a lap dance. Alright? You have to believe me.”

“Just a lap dance…” You scoff looking down at his undone belt, zipper down, dress pants pitched from his hard-on. He follows your eyes, hastily zipping and fastening his pants closed.

“I don’t know what you think you saw-”

“We’re done,” you chuckle tiredly as you step back, throwing open the side office door. Tony immediately reaches for you, clawing for your arm. “Let go of me,” you struggle.

“You’re not leavin’,” he asserts, pulling you back inside.

“I am. I’m done with you. It’s our anniversary, Tony. Look at where you are. Look at what you’re doing. How could you do this to me?”

“Do what? It was just a dance. I just got out of a major deal. Alright? I was about head home-”

“Liar!”

“Liar?” He questions. “Did you just call me a liar?” He asks as you feel the sting of his blunt fingernails digging into your arm.

“I know what I saw…”

“Princess… Even if I was lying. What the fuck are you gonna do about it. Huh? You’re mine, bitch. I own you. Where are you gonna go? What money do you have? How are you gonna afford this lifestyle you’ve become so accustomed to? Spending my hard-earned money like the gold-digging slut you are. You should be grateful,” he snarls as he steps toe-to-toe with you using his free hand to tug his leather belt from the loops of his pants.

You look up into his dark eyes as cruel words spit so readily from his wicked lips like he’s had time to prepare. I’ve seen this side of him, only once. He’s an evil man, and I know that. But this sort of cruelty has never been reserved for me. Until today. He grips his belt a little tighter in his fist making you take a few steps back but he stalks closer.

“You’re not goin’ anywhere,” he threatens.

“I am,” you whisper as you try to remain firm.

“I don’t think you understand this relationship we’ve got goin’ on, sweetheart. You go when I say you go,” he growls, tracing the belt along your bare thigh. “Do you think you’ll have a life after me? You think I’ll allow that shit.” He winds up smacking it against your skin. You gnash your teeth in pain, holding back tears, the most horrifying part knowing he could go far harder. “You know too much. You’re a liability. You have nothing. You are nothing without me. And you will be nothing without me.” Chills fall down your spine at his words and the crazed look in his eyes, his pupils blown from coke, pleasure, and rage.

“M'not scared of you.”

“You’re not. Huh? My tough girl.” He leans in; lips draw to your neck, kissing your pulse point, your rapid heartbeat calling your bluff as you inhale Cassidy’s cheap perfume lingering on his skin. You pinch your eyes shut as his large hand threads into your hair, tugging slightly while the other soothes your stinging thigh with his rough palm.

“I came from nothing, Tony. I’ll be fine.”

He scoffs as he uses his grasp on your strands to shove you away, letting the back of your head and body bang against the side door. Tony buttons up his still-undone shirt; bright red lipstick stained on the collar as well as his neck, a dark hickey forming to boot. Tears roll down your cheeks as you stand there defeated in your date night dress, your perfect makeup now streaming down your cheeks as you look into his soulless eyes.

“Fuck you, Tony.”

“Yeah. Yeah,” he chuckles as he pulls a cigarette out from behind his ear, placing it between his lips before snapping his lighter. “You leave, and I’ll find you. I own Figure 8, princess. Hell, I own this whole damn island. You better not make it too hard on me, baby doll. It’s our anniversary, after all. I’m sure you got somethin’ pretty for Daddy under that little dress of yours. I know you like it rough… but you might not make it out this time,” he laughs as he tosses his belt roughly toward his desk, the picture of the two of you clattering and shattering on the floor.

“Are you threatening me?”

“Me? Never… But if my hands are wrapped tight enough around that pretty little throat of yours and you don’t have enough juice to shout our safe word that’s on you, angel.”

“Go to hell.”

“I’ll give you a 5 minute head start, love. That seems fair?”

You grab the door and pull it open, taking a few steps before turning around again, pressing your back against the cool door, holding it shut as you look for an out. Luis is gone from his post, most likely keeping watch on the opposite end, Vlad in the parking lot, open water on the other side. There’s no way I can go back home. No family close by. No car. No escape. Looking out into the busy parking lot, you watch a squad car slow-roll through the back of the lot. Perfect.

Thank you, Luis. You reach down, snagging his Louisville Slugger perched against the weathered barstool. "Miss?” You hear his bodyguard’s frantic voice as he rounds the corner. You run into the lot as fast as your feet can take you, swerving around cars; dodging Luis.

You slam your eyes shut, swinging hard, nailing Tony’s Maybach truck, shattering the glass. The car alarm blares, echoing through the large lot. “Y/n!” Luis yells, but you swing and swing again.

“Y/n!” Tony barks from the door. You point the bat in his direction, twirling it before knocking off the wing mirror and sending it flying. A second siren fires, the sound of the police cruiser blares through the night, competing with the truck as it gets closer and closer.

You nail the glass, shards spilling into the truck as the cruiser pulls up, moving to the front of the vehicle you make your delinquency visible, quickly knocking out each headlight while the deputies climb out of their vehicle. “Get on the ground. Get on the ground now!” They holler.

“Deputy, this… this is a misunderstanding,” Tony assures as he enters the lot, softening his voice again.

“No, it’s not. And if I had a knife, I’d slash your tires, asshole.” The officers grab for you, expecting a fight, ultimately getting the latter. You cross your arms behind your back, smiling at Tony as they lock you in cuffs.

"Well, shit,” the older woman chuckles as she pulls you back to reality.

“Mhmm… but I’m a liability. After that little stunt I pulled, I know I’m living on borrowed time. Jail is the only place I could leave and be safe for the night. It’s just a band aid though; a temporary fix. I’m sure he’ll bail me out any minute, but who knows what’ll happen? I want to show him I’m not afraid.”

She purses her lips, debating whether to ask the million dollar question. “Are you?” She asks somberly.

“I wish I wasn’t-”

“L/n, someone just bailed your ass out. Let’s go,” an officer calls from outside the cell. The woman beside you taps your leg, giving you a little nod.

“He lays a finger on you, honey, I got no problem comin’ back here.”

“Thank you,” you whisper before turning toward the officer, giving her a wide, fake smile.

You rise to your feet, fixing your dress as you walk to out-processing. “To the left.”

Shupe matches your gaze from his post, giving you a wary glance. “M'am, are these your belongings?” He asks as he holds up the plastic bag of goods. You give him a soft smile and a nod. “Sure you got nothin’ you wanna tell me, Miss F/N L/N. Now’s the time,” Shupe warns. “You know, it’s Tony who posted your bail. He’s waitin’ for you outside-”

“I’m fine. Just fine, Deputy,” you assure as you fish your lipstick out from your clutch, slicking it on in the reflection of the privacy glass. “It was nothin’. Just a misunderstanding, as I said.”

“Just fine? Trashing Mr. Marietta’s Maybach truck was nothing? Just a normal night for the two of you?” He asks sarcastically.

You look at him and smile, dead-eyed and defeated. “It was our anniversary, actually.” Shupe’s eyes widen at yours, the occasion making your story even more unbelievable. “Have a great day, Deputy.”

“This is not a beauty pageant,” the female officer grunts, shooing you toward the exit.

I don’t know if I made the right choice… but I’m not gonna snitch. If I want to survive, I’m going to have to be strategic.

“I’m cooperating. Ain’t I?” You hear a deep voice echo down the hallway.

Stopping in your tracks, you watch the tall blonde struggle to break free. He grits his teeth, fighting against the cuffs, his broad chest gaping at the buttons of his black button-down shirt. He looks like he’s been through it; a gashed lip, the bottom of his pressed shirt half-tucked, his hair messy and sweaty against his dewy, tanned skin.

His eyes match yours; even from a distance, you can see how blue they are. His entire demeanor shifts, softening as a smile pulls on his pretty lips. A smile so beautiful, you can’t help but return the same.

There’s something magnetic about him, an intensity drawing your focus to him like a moth to a flame. He winks, and in that instant, everything changes. There’s no mistaking the connection swelling between you.

“Hey,” he mouths; your breath catches in your chest, pulse-quickening as time slows to a snail’s-pace. He looks at you until the last minute before being shoved inside his confinements. The metal door slams shut, jarring you from your daze, the bustle of the jail building from the solace in your mind.

Who was that?

It was momentary… a fleeting beat. The calm before the storm. You get pushed along, shoved toward the exit, and away from a sweet dream, thrown straight into a nightmare.

Part 2

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[binsito]

disk 2.0

part one is here!

pairing: bf!bang chan x fem reader x perv!changbin

word count: 3.0k (my longest fic this far AGhhh)

synopsis: changbin knows he should return what he wrongfully stole but he can't help but want to steal another one of chris' cds..

rating: mature, includes: unprotected sex, swearing, usage of the word "cockslut", "daddy", "babygirl", "good girl", "princess", "sweetie", mentions of masturbating, some fingering (f receiving), mentions of alcohol and consumption (they just crack open a cold one), little bit of oral (f & m receiving), breeding, chan is sharing his gf with changbin, filming/usage of a camera, voyeurism/exhibitionism dynamics, cuckolding lowkey??, degradation, humiliation, shame.. i think that's it but idk man they be fuckin!

put the cd back.

simple.

that's all changbin had to do.

put the cd back and act like nothing ever happened, like he didn't watch chris fuck the shit out of his girlfriend.

like he didn't see her puffy cunt ooze with his cum, like he didn't hear the pretty moans she let out for her "daddy", like he didn't see chris bring his heavy hand to her ass cheek, marking her so prettily as he pumped into her from behind with his thick cock.

chris would never know a thing, would never even notice the cd was gone in the first place, changbin was going to toss it back where he found it and take this little secret with him to the grave.

it seemed so easy.

it almost made changbin giggle how fucking effortless it was going to be.

absolutely fool-proof.

he was getting away with such a sneaky little deed, if it was this easy, why didn't he just take another? channie had so many.. he had probably forgotten about them anyways.. they were thrown in a box so carelessly, for god's sake. it wouldn't hurt to just take another..

he had to control the twitching in his cock as he walked into chris' apartment, disk buried in the pouch of his hoodie as he greeted his friend.

he welcomed him in so casually and changbin couldn't help but stiffen in his pants, tugging his hoodie down discreetly to hide his growing erection.

however, as he carried a conversation with his friend, he felt ashamed, guilt washing over him at all the dirty things he had thought about chris and his girlfriend. he knew he shouldn't take another cd, he should leave them as is and never pull that stunt again but he was far too gone, wasn't he?

if he was going to be a pervert, might as well commit to it, right? he already had his mind set on taking another one, had already imagined what could possibly be on another video and he would be incredibly disappointed if he backed out last minute like a wimp.

so as they started moving the last couple of boxes, changbin was bubbling with excitement knowing he would soon have the opportunity to nab another cd as soon as chris would turn away and give him a second alone.

a second was all he needed.

he wasn't going to be picky, any of the cds from chris' collection would make changbin a very, very happy man.

he would be content with whatever he could get, anything would do.

when chris tells him he's going to the bathroom real quick, changbin has to act like he's not fucking elated, like he almost didn't jump up and cheer.

he had to be cool.

had to be quick.

discreet.

sneaky.

he waited until chris was out of sight and quickly started looking for the box, however much to his dismay, it was no longer among the other boxes.

it was gone.

chris had probably packed it up already on his own, maybe it was in the truck, maybe he had given them over to his girlfriend?

changbin felt like he could collapse.

his excitement fizzling down to disappointment and frustration.

at least he could keep and rewatch the one he already had but he was just so greedy, he wanted to be nosey and see what else chris was hiding.

dammit. he thought angrily, he was so close, fingertips grazing his sweet little prize only to have it ripped from his hands.

he could cry.

he tried pretending like everything was alright once chris was back, helping him continue to load up the truck and carry all his music equipment safely.

a smile on his face as he chatted with chris while he was internally screaming, wishing chan had left the box out again like he previously had.

"bin, you should come over once i settle in to check out the new place yeah? i'll cook, i know you won't turn that down." chris giggles changbin smiled and nodded "of course man, i'd love to come over." "perfect, next friday yeah? it'll motivate me to actually unpack and get shit organized for a guest."

"sounds good, i'll be there."

--

but what changbin hadn't expected when he came over that friday was for chris to have company.

his pretty girlfriend sitting on the couch with a smile.

you greeted him and gestured for him to sit down. "welcome! how are you? i haven't seen you since that trip we all took over the summer."

changbin tried pushing down any thoughts he was having about you, how pretty you sound talking to him, how much prettier you would sound gagging on some cock.

his cock, preferably.

but you were chris' girlfriend so that would be off limits.

you kept a steady conversation with him as chris came back out from the kitchen, smiling and handing changbin a beer.

"how's the place? you like it? she helped me clean up nicely, got rid of all that dust and shit" he sat next to you, arm around you as he sipped his own beer.

"yeah the place looks great, chris. congrats." changbin smiled at his friend.

"hope you're hungry, we made some delicious pasta from scratch."

"we?" you spoke up and giggled

chan just laughed, knowing he tried to help but just made a mess so instead you had him wash dishes.

"dinner should be ready in about an hour. i prepared dessert too" you spoke up "oh thank you, i knew chan wasn't going to be the one fixing us a meal" changbin joked.

"he's getting better, no more burnt chicken. just needs to clean up after himself and be more careful"

chris just smiled and kissed your forehead softly, he loved you so much. you made him incredibly happy and he loved showing his affection towards you openly, especially around other people.

changbin was no exception.

"baby why don't we put on a movie or something while we wait?" "oh, sure!" you wiggled out of his grip and walked over to the tv, grabbing the remote to turn it on

"i think you'll like this movie bin, not sure if you've seen it yet" chris said

"what movie is it?" he asked but chris just smiled at him, letting the video buffer as you took your seat next to him again.

the video loaded and changbin's eyes widen as soon as he saw what was on the screen. beer almost spilling all over him as he watched you in pretty lingerie that had been carelessly ripped by chris, sprawled out for the camera to take in your wet folds, chris tracing them with a finger as he chuckled behind the camera.

"c-chris- i think- i don't think-" changbin didn't even know what to say, quickly covering his eyes with his one free hand. was chris doing this on purpose? was it an accident? he shouldn't feel turned on, pressing his legs together in hopes to tame the angry boner he had sprung.

"open your eyes binnie.. don't be shy now." chris spoke, his tone strong and a little condescending

"at least tell us if the cd you stole was good.. was it good, binnie? did you cum to it? you must've.. i saw you waiting for me to leave to take another. i hid the box before you came over though.. wanted to catch you. i knew i wasn't crazy when i saw one missing." he giggled so nonchalantly, the humiliation of being caught making changbin's cock pathetically rush with blood.

"channie told me what you did.. so cute.. come on binnie.. tell us how it felt?"

the video played in the background, sounds of your pretty moans filling the silence while changbin struggled to find words to speak.

"i-i'm sorry.." he said weakly "i-i really am i thought it was music b-but it wasn't.. i c-couldn't stop watching.. f-fuck it was just so hot.. i-i'm sorry-"

"don't be sorry, binnie.. you liked it right? hm?" you asked him, smile on your face that was making him squirm in his seat. his eyes shifting from you on the screen full of cock, to you in front of him, crawling into chris' lap. your eyes not leaving changbin's, his mouth salivating at the sight in front of him.

chris gripped a fistful of your ass as he kissed your neck. "you gonna put on a show for our guest babygirl?" chris mumbled into your skin, kneading your ass gently

"you're so sweet baby.. always so welcoming hm? good girl. daddy likes it when you're nice to his friends."

changbin felt his mouth go dry, hands shaking in his lap as he shamefully watched how chris sloppily made out with you in front of him. low grunts leaving his friend's pretty lips as you rubbed down on him.

"come closer binnie.. come look.." you beckoned him over, his feet moving faster than his brain could, quickly leaving behind the alcohol his friend had kindly offered him. he sat right next to the two of you, watching how chris expertly took your shirt off. he wondered how often you two had sex.. a lot right? given by the collection you two had curated.. chris seemed very knowledgeable and quick with his actions, almost as if it was muscle memory. like he trained himself to be able to handle you, like he trained you to be so good and perfect for his cock.

changbin's brain was so fuzzy, eyes scanning your body as chris discarded your clothes, before he knew it you were only in your panties. chris sucking eagerly on your tits while his hands played with the waistband of your underwear.

changbin was dying for a taste, wanted to touch how soft your skin was, wanted to give you goosebumps and tug on your hair and spank you until you cried out for him to stop.

chris had bent you over his lap, ass in changbin's direction so he could get a clear view. pulling your underwear aside so he could see your cunt on display. "see this, bin? she's always so fucking wet. she touched herself when i told her about what you did. came all over her own fingers.. heard her moan your name."

chris held your asscheeks open so changbin could see your pretty hole clenching around nothing "she's a bit of a cockslut.. but nothing i can't handle. look how easy she takes this.."

with that, he pressed two fingers in, your cunt sucking him in just how he knew it would. he pumped them a few times before bringing them out slowly, letting changbin see the slick coating his fingers

"here.. taste. it's the sweetest pussy you'll ever have." chris said as he held out his fingers for changbin to take.

all pride aside, changbin leaned in and took chris' fingers in his mouth, rolling his eyes back at the taste and humming. "good right? told ya so.. such a perfect cunt.." he emphasized his statement with a harsh spank. you whined as you felt chris pull you off his lap in order for him to get undressed. he threw his shirt off and pulled his pants along with his boxers down just enough for his cock to spring free.

"can you show binnie how you good you ride daddy's cock, babygirl?"

he didn't have to tell you twice, quickly clambering into his lap again as you lined him up with your aching hole. you pressed down inch by inch, feeling the nice stretch of his cock. changbin's cock was growing impatient, he needed to feel some type of relief even if it was just his fingers. he began tugging his pants down to fist his cock, whimpering at the feeling of finally getting some friction.

"you better not fucking cum, changbin." chris scolded

changbin quickly dropped his hand, not wanting to anger his friend and make him stop.

instead he focused on the pace you had set on chris' cock, how your tits bounced with every movement, the concentrated look on your face and the way you bit your lip whenever you hit a spot that felt so good. the way you dug your fingers into chris' shoulders, how he guided you with his rough hands, his curly hair beginning to stick to his forehead.

all that alone could make changbin cum untouched.

chris trailed a hand down to where you connected, rubbing your clit to help you build up an orgasm, his other hand reached for your hair as he tugged your head back, barring your neck for him to leave a love bite.

the room echoed with noises from the video that was still playing in the background alongside your sweet whimpers as chris worked you up.

all music to changbin's ears.

it was too much for you, having chris touch you and changbin watching you come apart, your orgasm ripping through you as you chanted chris' name.

you tried collecting yourself, calming your breathing as you pulled off chris' cock but your legs felt like jelly so he helped you and gently set you besides him.

he had stood up and opened up a drawer underneath the tv, pulling out his camera and setting it on the table in front of everyone. "hope you aren't camera shy, binnie." he teased

--

once chris had finally set up the camera exactly how he wanted, he decided it was finally time to let changbin have a turn. he was his guest after all and chris always made sure his guests were comfortable and taken care of in his home.

"how do you want me binnie? tell me, sweetie.. i wanna please you.." you purred

you'd be lying if you said you weren't excited to have him inside, his cock looked delicious.. thick and so hard.. poor thing must've been struggling, his cock throbbing for attention. chris could be such a meanie.

"c-can.. can i.. taste you? want you on my face.." he said shyly

you tugged him down on the couch, having him lay beneath you as you positioned yourself on his face, caging him in.

as soon as his eyes met your pretty cunt, he was gone.

all the shame and humiliation he once felt (even if it had turned him on so badly), had completely vanished.

he was hungry.

he held you open, licking up a long strip up your cunt before he began to suck on your clit.

he was making you shake, arms feeling so wobbly as you held on to his thighs to prevent yourself from toppling over.

"oh god channie.. he's so good with is tongue.." you whimpered, kicking your head back as you let out a whiny moan.

"i think he likes the dessert you prepared for him, princess." chris teased.

you leaned forward to take changbin's tip in your mouth, sucking just harsh enough for him to buck his hips up at the pressure.

chris grabbed the camera and brought it towards you, filming the way you began to bob your head on changbin's cock. he gripped you by the hair and tugged you off, spit connecting you the the tip of changbin's cock.

"you like being a slut with binnie? like having fun with two cocks?"

you could barely even answer as you felt changbin working you up to your second orgasm, chris gripped your hair tighter to make you focus.

"can't even fucking think straight.. so damn cock hungry.." he spat

"binnie, why don't you give her what she wants hm? why don't you you fuck her nice and dumb for me?"

he pulled away from your sopping cunt, giving you a few hasty licks before chan set down the camera, grabbing you and positioning you on your hands and knees over the arm rest.

"she's all yours, binnie. take good care of that cunt for me."

chris watched as changbin lined himself up, gripping on to your hips as he rubbed his tip against your folds.

your back arched when you felt him breech your hole, his thick cock easily pushing its way inside of you, pressing so deeply it kissed your sweet spot perfectly. you felt so fucking full of him already and you were glad he was going to put that fat cock of his to good use.

he had to concentrate hard to not bust right away, your cunt wrapping around his length so good, he thought he was seeing stars.

he set a steady pace, breathing heavily as he watched his cock sink in and out of you, a ring of cream forming against his base.

"fucking like bunnies.. so cute.." chan groaned as he stroked himself to the sight of his girlfriend being treated so nicely by changbin.

"s-shit.. chris.. where do you want me to cum? i-i think i might soon.." changbin whimpered

"keep it inside of her.'

changbin swore he was having another vivid wet dream.

inside?

chris wanted him to cum inside his girlfriend?

chris wanted him to fill her with his seed?

breed her and leave her stuffed full of him?

changbin closed his eyes tightly, it didn't matter how hard he tried to clear his head and focus, he was a weak, weak man.

"i'm close too, binnie.. touch me.. wanna cum with you.." you pleaded.

he took a shaky breath as he pressed his chest flush against your back, allowing him easier access to reach over and rub your clit.

his thrusts becoming sloppy as he bit into your shoulder to ground himself. he could feel you clenching on him, consistent moans leaving your lips as you got closer and closer to your peak.

it wasn't long before you turned into putty underneath him, cumming with his name on your tongue which was enough to make him shoot out as well. he kept still making sure every drop seeped into you and did not got to waste.

he kissed your shoulder gently before he carefully pulled out as to not spill on chris' couch.

"stay still babygirl.. daddy wants to fuck binnie's cum into you. make sure it stays in you real good, kay?"

this would not be the last time changbin would make a cameo in chris' homemade sex tapes.

unfortunately, it came at the expense of dinner being ruined that night due to negligence. blame it on changbin and his horny antics.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

[infamousbrad]

Biden's "Dean Scream"?

A week and a half ago, I was convinced that "Biden had one bad debate performance" was going to be a 3-day story. But now I see why it wasn't. (I mean, aside from the fact that summer is Silly Season in US journalism.) How well do you remember Howard Dean's final run for the Democratic nomination?

Howard Dean was a "progressive" by the standards of his time, that is to say, slightly to the left of, say, Richard Nixon at a time when the post-Bill-Clinton center-right wing of the Democratic Party totally controlled the nomination process, and he was running on an FDR-liberal type platform.

And the press spent the whole time he was in the race asking him the same question over and over again, "Does this mean that you're angry at the 'Third Way' Democrats? I'll bet you're angry at Bill Clinton and the 'Third Way' Democrats? Governor Dean, why don't you say a word about how angry you are?" Because if he was still running against "militant centrism" in a post-liberal party, he must be angry, right?

But he really wasn't. I never saw him actually get angry that whole campaign. He was happy to have inspired so many volunteers, and proud of his plan to rejuvenate the state-party apparatuses in written-off "red states," and never not happy to talk to a reporter, any reporter. Which was all the proof they needed to show that he was not only angry, he was nefarious. Because they couldn't imagine any plausible reason why anybody would go to as much effort as he did unless they were genuinely angry.

After the New Hampshire primary, he stood up in front of a group of his campaign volunteers to cheer them on, and they handed him a defective microphone. So he screamed his cheers into the dead microphone, so the volunteers in the back could hear him over the din. But the press microphones? Worked. And he didn't sound excited, he sounded deranged. And I swear to God, 100% of the political press reported it as "Howard Dean finally reveals his inner anger," even though the video shows him grinning and smiling like a child on Christmas.

Why could nothing disprove the "Howard Dean is the Angry Candidate" theory before, why was evidence to the contrary taken as proof it was true?

Because it fit the pre-existing narrative.

Look, we have never not known that Biden's age was going to be a problem. Even as he was sweeping the primaries in 2020, it came up. That's where the "he knows he's too old, he's just reassuring older voters that the party is normal, he's going to step aside for Kamala Harris" rumor got started, remember that? No matter how many times Biden himself denied it?

And if there was any truth to it, there's no point to it now. She hasn't gotten any better at either of the president's jobs, not at public speaking nor at shepherding legislation, so unsurprisingly she polls even worse than Biden.

Should Biden be replaced because he's getting slower and more mumbly as he ages? Did Reagan? He sailed to easy re-election despite the fact he was visibly declining by the end of his first term, way faster than Biden is now. His White House Chief of Staff, Howard Baker, was, by all accounts, acting president for at least three years, making sure that the last person to talk to Reagan before he had to make a decision was the person Baker thought that Reagan would have agreed with if he could remember anything that was happening around him.

(It's not even the most extreme example in US national politics: look up stories about Strom Thurmond's last term in the Senate, which was full-on "Weekend at Bernie's.")

An entirely senile top official who put a good team into place before he sundowned can do a perfectly good job. And trying to replace him would just hand the election to Trump. So no, even if he were as tired and confused as the press and jealous Democrats are painting him, that wouldn't be a good reason to replace him, not at this late of a date.

(If the entire party apparatus had discussed this behind closed doors and agreed to set up, say, Michigan's governor Whitmer or Pennsylvania's governor Shapiro as an agreed-upon backup candidate in case something like this happened, and gotten it done no later than, say, spring of '23, we'd have a minimally plausible option. But we didn't, so we don't. The choice isn't Biden or someone better, it's Biden vs Trump or Trump unopposed.)

But even given how weak-sauce the argument that a few verbal slips and mutters mean that Biden can't perform the duties of the president is, I suddenly realize now why it wasn't a three-day story. Just like the Dean Scream, he handed them the proof they needed of something they've been saying for four years, long before it was true, and everybody loves being "proved" right. Because, as I always say:

Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug.

[regularme12]

Put on your comedy mask!

A/N: I garuntee you, everyone in the tk community thought this was finna be a tickle scene. So I'm making it into a fic!!!

Lee: Jax

Ler: Gangle(?)

Summary: Gangle don't like slackers, or debby downers. Lucky for her, she knows just the way to turn that frown upside down!

"Hi!! Welcome to Spudsy's!! In this video, you're gonna learn the ins and outs on what makes YOU a good crew worker! AND a valuable asset to the Supdsy's corporation." Gangle explained on the tv screen. Jax felt like he acctually messed up for the first time. If it wasn't for Gangle's stupid happy face, he wouldn't have been complaining about the work enviroment, she sent them out to do!!

"When did you make this?"

"Now I know what you're thinking," Gangle mocked, "I don't want a career in fast food. I wanna be a comic artist and eventually launch my own manga inspired webcomic. And it's cool to have dreams, but you also need to remember that they're all completely unrealistic, and YOU need to stop trying."

Jax was baffled that Gangle had the courage to do all of this shit!! Like yh, cut his pay, or send him home for the day, but this?! This was too much just for her, Jax dosen't know how or when he's getting out. He felt a little anxious and claustrophobic.

"But BEFORE we get into all that...first things first, are you smiling?"

Smiling? Is she insane?! Why would he be smiling when he was practically forced aganst his will to be there?! "Eh, no???"

"Why not?" Gangle looked scarry to the bunny man, how he got himself in this position, he has yet to find out. Then all of a sudden a chair pops out along with robotic hands. They forced him to sit down, and had his limbs stretched out to the bone.

"Wait-Waitwaitwait, uhm... No one can see this right?! hehe" The arms brougjt him closer to the tv where his face was squished upon it, then they brought him back to his prior position, llimbs stretched out, sitting in a chair.

"It's time for your employee evaluation.~" And like that, Gangle was out of sight, out of mind.

"WAIT! NO GANGLE!! I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU LEAVE ME HERE-" He stopped mid sentence, realizing there was no point in trying to call out for something that wasn't even there. "Great..." Gangle put on her employee evaluation video expecting Jax to follow along. He wanted to slouch back because if he's watching something stupidly boring, he'll want to get comfortable first, but it was hard with those damn hands not letting go, he couldn't even move a muscle if he wanted to, that's just how tight they made him. "Now I gotta watch this stupid s***! Hey, bud, you think you can lay off a little? This'll be so annoying if I can't get comfortable, and right now, I can't even move. It's p****** me off." All of the sudden, he felt a poke to his side. This caused him to jump, and let out a small giggle. Oh no... was this Gangle's plan all along?! To get me here so she can leave her murder weapons to tickle me to death?! This is SO not good.

"On my m************ SOUL, you'll be so f****** sorry if u let this peice of s*** tickle me the whole time you're so called 'lesson' is STILL F****** GOING!!! AGH THIS PEICE OF S*** SENSORING BULL S***! CANE I'MMA F****** KILL YOU! TRUST AND BELIEVE- AHHHH!!" Jax screamed so loud, that if that box he was confined in wasn't super fucking sound proof, from here to Thailand, everyone would hear his god awful screams for help, but help has yet to arrive.

"Gahhahahaa!! Pehehehehice of s***, let. me. GOHHOOHOHOHOH!!!" They started squeezing his sides at a fast pace. Jax has always been super ticklish, I mean for the years he can remember. But yet the only person who knows that is Caine and Bubble. Hence, how he even remembers how ticklish he really is.

"D******* ihihihit, Gahahahangle, when I gehehet out of here!!!" They were lightly dragging their finger up and down said bunny man's torso. Which was a little ticklish that made him lightly jerk, but wasn't too extravangant to where he was full on laughing. "Ugh... stop!! C-Can you guys... like speak e-english? Or at least ANY languAGE! NO NOT THEHEHEREEEE" The spot they went to just had to be his second most ticklish spot, his toe beans. They're so sensitive, to the point he can't do anything if it involves someone or something touching his feet. "GahahahahHAHAHHAAhahaha!! THIHIHIS IS TOHOHORTURE OHOHO MY GOHOHOJOD!" Jax was really in a pickle. How is he gonna get out of this?! What felt like 30 minutes had passed, and Jax was still in that same hold with those same hands tickling the same spots. One of them started scratching in the divots of his ribs with there really dull finger tips, which to Jax, is the reason why it tickled so much.

All that was heard was the clanking noises of the robotic arms when Jax was trying to pull his arms down to defend the now attacked spot, before he literally passes out, but to no avail. The room went silent. The tv was still going in the background, he thought to himself that someone was bound to at least notice his disappearnace and comes checks up on him. Then he remembered no one likes him there, I mean... maybe expect for Kinger and Pomni??

But Gangle can't let him stay there forever, right?! He was getting to his limits, his ribs weren't even THAT ticklish, it was just the way the hands were moving in those hollow spots that really got him going. "F******* FINE!! PLEHEHEHEASE!! LEHEHEHT ME GOHOHO!! IHIHI'M SIHIHICK OF THIHIHIS S*****!!" The hands finally let go, giving him a chance to breathe and calm down. His rapid heart rate and the sound of Gangle's stupid annoying voice he oh so hates, was the only ones audible to the naked ears.

Then they started moving, but not to let him go, oh no. It wasn't that easy. They moved to his ears. His worst spot. They swiped up it once, and Jax almost broke Gangle's dumb machine. "OH F****** PLEASE DON'T TICKLE ME THERE PLEASE I BEG YOU!! JUST MAKE IT ST-...." It went silent once again, then Jax started laughing.

"IHIHIHI CAN'T...." Again.

"F************ BREATHE!!...." And again. Then it turned to hiccups, and snorts

"*SNORT* PLEHEHEHEHASE GAHAHAHN... *Hic* *snort* IHIHIHI HAHAHHAD EHEHEHEEH....*Silent* *long inhale* *snort* *HIC*...." And then it went silent again. The hands finally let up, and Jax could faintly make out Gangle's outro for her employee evaluation video. The hands and chairs extracted, making Jax fall on his ass. Then he just lied there for a good 5 minutes. Then he fumbled to stand up, and stumbled his way out the door that appeared after the hands and chairs were gone. He looked like a hot mess, he was sweaty, his fur was sticking to his forehead, he looked exhausted, and he was all red. How is he gonna make up excuses when it's practically written on his face?!

"Wow Jax! Didn't think you'd survive that!! So??? Did you learn anything today???" Gangle appraoched him in her same old giddy attitude from before.

"I f****** hate you." Jax groaned.

"Why?"

"because... you're stupid f****** MACHINES JUST T-" He stopped hismelf, he didn't want everyone around him knowing he was insanly ticklish, or ticklish at all. So he dropped hjs voice to a whsiper, "You're machines just f****** tickled me, jacka**"

"Wanna go back?" She turned serious, but still had that shit eating grin plastered on her mask.

"NO! F*** NO!! You can't pay me 100 GS to go back there." He was relishing back at that moment where he was tickled to near death, and he shivered.

"Hehe, I knew you were insanley ticklish. So I hoped I'd tickled you into consideration about being a better coworker!!"

"Wha-?! How?! Did yo-?! Ugh... Bubble?"

"Yep!"

"Caine?"

"Mhm"

"God, I'm gonna f****** kill them both!!"

"Heheh... yeah."

"Well, anyways. F*** you Gangle, f*** this work place, f*** this enviroment, I could give zero s**** about how you wanna run and invest in this dump, but that's all you. I'm clocking out, I had enough today, and I'm gonna rest in my f****** car, with my f****** radio blaring in the parking lot, waiting for that a**hat of a boss to let us go back home, so I can beat the ever loving s*** out of him and his alliby. Oh, and not a word about this to anyone, if you want me to be a little better, follow those rules, and trust me." Then he walked out.

Ragatha looked up, all droopy and drunk, "Where's he goingggg? Ifff he can leaveeee then I for sureee ca-" She fell back on the floor with a thud. Gangle looked down, gave her a soft smile, and went along with the rest of her day.

[megsdoodletag]

i swear i’ll post actual art on here sometime

i also swore i wouldn’t make 40k ocs bc i Knew they’d tend in this direction but i accidentally thought about a pairing for more the 10 seconds so they have a kid now i guess. i haven’t named her yet but meet the world’s smallest blueberry!

-She’s Guilliman and Yvraine’s. Don’t ask me how that worked. Cawl is there, draw your own conclusions.

-bc of the eldar natural birth difficulties Yvraine is like Insanely smug about having carried a kid herself. does not matter that baby is a halfling, baby can do no wrong and is also better than sliced bread and also toasters. However, the baby stays with Guilliman mostly bc mom’s adventures in the warp are not great for baby environments

-not that whatever Guilliman is up to is either but u know. they’re trying.

-when she’s little she sneaks into an ultramarine drop ship and they don’t realize she’s with them until they’re planet-side. Half the party hates being reminded Yvraine exists and want to leave her somewhere to die if not execute the xenos outright, the other half is like but she’s The Primarch’s Kid!! they compromise by teaching her the codex.

-she comes back home like [tiny baby voice] BROTHERS!!! FO THE EMPERAR!!! guilliman is like oh my god ur mother is going to kill me (yvraine does not kill him she thinks this is funny. you know those videos of babies trying to howl along with puppies? that’s what’s happening from yvraine’s perspective. except guilliman is very distressed about the whole thing which is even funnier) baby does also learn ynnead things but she can quote the codex back to front like the best of them and Will get into arguments about interpretation/intent law. She’s Very good at talking her way out of getting into trouble w the chaplains and favors unorthodox readings. she will also argue with dad when he’s being a hypocrite about a rule.

-Varro is favorite brother bc he lets her hide from the other chaplains under his desk when she doesn’t want to be studying.

-when she grows up she absolutely beefs out (finally, proof the primarch genes are in there somewhere!) and she’s essentially an eldar heavyweight bc none of the rest of them have the muscle mass. Her best friend is Boy Dorn, of tts fame, bc weird bastard non-marine primarch kids gotta stick together.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

Potential TW ::: Difficulty conceiving. & for my vomit-sensitive friends, here's a mildly changed version: PUKE FREE EDIT

A/N ::: I am so tired tonight that this was not super proofed. This was an ask that came via my messages. They wanted a story with the spicy and the sweet parts of Kats & F.reader tryin' for a baby. I hope it has all the elements you wanted and that you like it!

C/W ::: Aged up Kats x f.reader, several mentions of vomiting & other facial fluids being discharged (snot, tears, puke). Oral M->F Quite a bit of P->V. Lovey dovey stuff, sweet moments between 2 people who just want a freakin' baby. Ok? 😭

WC ::: 4,923 (Jesus christ, I'm so sorry. This totally got away from me and I don't even know how.)

"Hey babe, it's me." Katsuki said in his usual growly voice. "I guess you're still at work or somethin'. Anyway, I'll be home tomorrow night. Also, I'been holdin' back. So, be ready for me. I love you, call me if ya want."

Katsuki was out of town on a job. He's been gone for almost a week now, the longest you two have been apart since you got married, almost 2 years ago. You missed him, sure. But when he came home, stomping through the entryway, yelling for you, it was the best feeling to be wrapped up in his arms and smooshed into his chest.

The two of you have been leaving yourselves open to having a baby for about 4 months now. It hasn't been constant trying, but the longer it goes that you're not getting pregnant, the more you feel like you're needing to take this more seriously. You started reading up on the most productive positions to get the result you're looking for, studying what you can do before and after you do the deed. How to check your basal temperature. When doctor intervention becomes more than a discussion and an absolute necessity.

The phone beeps, alerting you to your missed call and voicemail. "What ... oh, damn it." You listen to the message Katsuki left you and couldn't help the soft pink blush that spread over your face and chest. No man had ever made you feel the way he has. You had been pretty reserved until he helped you tap into your inner slutty girl. It sounds bad, but you've not looked back once since he brought you out of your little sexual shell. And why should you? Every time you're with him you swear it's the best sex you've ever had. Point being, you got really lucky to have him love you and be able to love him.

Pushing #1 on speed dial, you hear the other line ringing and start praying to whatever gods would listen to you that he'd answer his phone.

"Hey brat. Y'ignorin' me now or some shit like that? The fuck ya think ya are?" You could hear him choke out a laugh. The background noise was almost louder than he was.

"You know it, you caught me. Trying to ignore you. What're you gonna do about it?" You giggled when you heard his breath hitch in his throat. Your voice got low and breathy, "You gonna punish me, hm? Good luck catching me, Kats."

The phone crackled a few times before you heard him, "Hey! Y'there? Babe!? Goddamn it, this shit ass fuc---" and then you heard nothing.

"K-Kats? Hello? Are you ... are you there? Oh." You tossed the phone on the couch and pouted. "Things were just about to get good, too." You whined to the cat. But you knew they didn't care. They were Kats' anyway. They merely tolerated you until they were hungry and then they were your biggest fan.

A chime rang out into the quiet room and you pounced on it. A text from Katsuki, "Sorry, shit reception here. I'll try to call you from the hotel later. XXX"

It was about 6pm. Too early for bed, too late to go anywhere. So you curled up on the couch and watched your wedding video. You laughed and cried about how stupid you felt for missing him so much. He's only been gone a week and he'll be home tomorrow. Less than 24 hours and you would be together again.

You woke up to the sun forcing its way through the edges of the window coverings. "He's coming home today! He ... is finally coming home today!" A contented sigh heaved its way from your chest as you stood and stretched the uncomfortable position you slept in from your body. And then immediately a wave of nausea washed over you. "The f-," you covered your mouth and ran to the bathroom. Lifting the toilet lid, you took pause and started praying that you wouldn't puke. "Mmm ..." Your eyes roamed to the bathroom cupboard. The nausea faded and soon your body followed your eyes' lead and you started to crawl to open the door and pull out a pregnancy test.

You peed on the plastic receptacle and set the timer you'd bought specially for the bathroom, only to hurry up and wait for the next 3 minutes.

"Oh." You tried so hard not to let yourself get wrapped up in the hope that all of your fun and hard work had finally paid off. But it still hurt. It always hurt. It was a relief though, that Katsuki wasn't here to have to go through this again. He always somehow got more excited than you at the prospect of you becoming parents. 'There's plenty uh’time, ma,' he always says to you whenever the result is another negative.

It would be several hours before he'd be home, so you put yourself together and set out to grocery shop. You decided to stop by your favorite little boutique and look around at the lingerie. Maybe that would help cheer you up and raise moral to romp around with your husband. You laughed at the stupid thought. It was always fun to be with Katsuki.

You managed to knock all of your tasks out in a couple of hours and drove home to get stuff put away. You still wanted to shower, put on the new lingerie you bought and figure out what to do for dinner. Take-out was calling your name tonight.

In the shower, you started to think about how much you loved Katsuki. And a familiar, warm, tingly feeling started to bloom in the pit of your stomach. Unconsciously, you began rubbing your thighs together trying to alleviate the pressure - however pleasant it might be - building there. It was a dangerous game you were playing here. If you rubbed them too much, you know you'd get beyond frustrated and have to take care of this on your own. And there was nothing you wanted more than for him to be the one to alleviate this pent up tension in your body. Seeing as he was the one causing it, it only seemed fair.

Hurrying to finish washing up, you managed to get out of there with only a little bit of lingering agitation. Perhaps agitation was too strong a word. But you missed him so much there was no other word you could think of to replace it.

All wrapped up in a towel, you went to your room and looked over the clothes you had laid out for tonight. The dress you chose was newer, you picked it up a month or so ago, but haven't had the chance to wear it. It’s so new that he hasn't even seen it on you. The lingerie was a strappy black 1 piece and it looked so confusing to you. But you wanted to look nice for him. You knew he would love it for the whole 30 seconds it was on you before he tore it off. Yet you couldn't help but feel a little bit nervous about his homecoming.

It all felt so new to you for some strange reason.

His Jeep pulled into the driveway and your heart all but stopped beating. Your face got hot and you felt like you were going to puke again. "Jesus, calm yourself, y/n. You're married for Christ's sake. Have been for over 2 years. He is your husband. He already loves you." But you didn't believe a word you said to yourself.

You ran to the bedroom to take one last quick glance at your appearance. Smoothing down the dress at your stomach, you noticed it didn't sit quite like it did when you first bought it. You just chalked it up to a little bit of stress eating with Katsuki being gone, and you trying to stay cool about (not) getting pregnant. It just caught up to you. No matter. He's home.

The front door opened and you heard his heavy footsteps. Music to your ears. "Babe? 'M home. Get yer ass ov-", You peeked your head out of the bedroom and gave him a sassy smile. "There you are, fuck, missed you so much. Don't move." He tossed his keys onto the kitchen table and walked toward you like he was hunting you. Like if he moved to quickly you'd get startled and run away from him. Little did he know that it would take a lot more than him running at you to make you even flinch.

"I missed you too, Kats. So much." You whispered as he got closer. He reached out for you and pulled you flush against him, his mouth immediately finding yours. His lips were so soft and warm and he smelled so good. You couldn't resist the urge to kiss him deeper, and you let your tongue brush his bottom lip. He growled and held you tighter.

"Fuck, y’taste so good. Yer gonna kill me. I can't wait for you any longer. All of you. Every part of you." He kissed your cheek and then your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth and tugging on it with his teeth. You moaned and ground your hips into his. The sensation of his hardness rubbing against you made you ache with need.

"Oh God. Please. I need you so much." Every brush of his fingers against your body left a trail of raised, peach fuzz hairs in their wake. You were panting now, trying to catch your breath from his lips on your skin. He pulled back and looked at you, his eyes shining with love and lust. "I love you so much, babe."

"I love you too, Katsuki." Your voice was breathy and quiet, almost like you were afraid to say it.

He leaned in and kissed you again, this time with more heat and intensity. His hands found their way to your ass and he squeezed, eliciting a whimper from your lips. "Let's go to bed." He grabbed your hand and led you to the bedroom.

You walked in and he pushed you onto the bed. You squealed and giggled as you bounced. He stood over you and started to unbutton his shirt. His abs and pecs were on display for you. You couldn't help but lick your lips at the sight of his muscles moving as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders. He moved to unbuckle his belt and you got a little nervous. He was so hot and you felt like you couldn't keep up with him. But he always managed to make you feel like the most beautiful woman on earth.

As he took his pants off, you got up and stood in front of him so he could unzip the dress. "You make this dress look so fuckin' beautiful, babe. Goddamn. So sexy. But y'know, 's much as I love this, 'm dying to see what's underne- Hoh fuck. Th- you- fuck that's hot. This new?" He asked as he covered his mouth with his right hand and shook his head slowly.

"You like it?" You blushed hard.

"Do I fuckin' like it. C'mere. Fuckin' c'mere and I'll show you just how much I like it." He pulled you close and kissed your lips, your neck, your chest. You could feel him hard and throbbing against your lower stomach. It was driving you wild.

He turned you around and began to kiss your shoulders. He moved the straps of the lingerie down and bit your skin gently. "Ah! Katsuki, please. Please touch me. I need you."

"Patience. G’na take my time with you. Got about 6 days to make up for, darlin'. Lemme have this. Lemme have you."

He turned you back around and kissed you deeply. He held you close and you could feel the heat radiating from his body. "I am so glad you're home, Kats." You whispered while you pulled him to the bed.

You laid there and let him take over, let him do what he wanted. And what he wanted was to drive you crazy. He kissed every inch of your body, making sure to pay extra attention to your most sensitive parts.

"You work out this week or somethin'?" He asked between kissing your hot skin. He moved down to your belly. "Fuck, you're just so ..." he growled against your skin as he breathed you in. "Your tits look fantastic. You're so ... gah ... I dunno. You're just so soft." He ran his hands over your curves and squeezed your hips.

You pulled his hair and guided him to your core. "Katsuki, need ... need your mouth." He obliged and licked a stripe up your slit, his tongue pressing firmly against your clit and you jumped back. "Hohmygod, Kats! Fuck!!"

"S'sensitive for me," he dove back in and started to suck on your clit, swirling his tongue around it and then flattening it and moving it side to side, "Fumkin' lub et." You felt like you were going to burst. The feeling was overwhelming and you felt yourself get close to the edge faster than you could ever remember.

"Katsu- kugh, ohmygod, I'm gonna ... I'm gonna ..." You grabbed his head and pushed him further into you. He moaned and his hands dug into your thighs as he kept working your swollen cunt.

"Cum for me, baby. Show me how fuckin’ hard y’can cum for me. Lemme see that pretty pussy cum for me." He moved back down and started sucking and licking your clit again, his fingers sliding inside you and hitting that spot you love so much.

Your whole body tensed up and you felt yourself explode all over his fingers and tongue. "Katsuki!!!" You screamed and bucked your hips against his face, chasing your orgasm. You could feel him smiling against your skin as you rode out your pleasure against his face and hands. You didn't know what you were rubbing yourself against but there was no part of you that could stop it from happening.

"G'girl. Fuck, you taste s'good, babe. Kinda diff’rent. More tart. Lemony." He kissed your thigh and then crawled up to kiss you. "Gonna fuck a baby into you now." He smiled down at you, much more sweetly than his intentions actually were and held your legs open so he could slide himself inside you.

"Mmmm, yes ... please, want you … in me." You whined as he started to push himself in. He was big, you were used to it. But tonight you needed a minute or two to adjust to his size. It felt like you were clenching down on him, almost purposely. Making it more difficult for him to push himself entirely inside of you. 

"Jesus fuck, you sure you weren't doing some pussy push-ups r'somethin'? You're so tight, babe. Feels so fuckin' good. But … Jesus."

You couldn't control your laughter at him calling kegel exercises 'pussy push-ups'. It was so stupid, but it made you feel warm and loved that he cared enough to notice things like that. "I've been practicing, yeah." You smirked and he leaned in and kissed you again.

"Good. So fuckin' good. Now, g'na fuck you 'til you can't stand it. I'm gonna cum in that hot pussy and make you the sexiest ma on the face of the planet." He growled against your lips as he started to move inside you.

You lost track of time and your body just reacted to him. He was rough and tender. Everything you needed and more. The two of you singing this song of moans in unison sounded better than any of your favorite songs ever had. His grunts and growls filled the room, as he fucked you harder and harder, so too, did your moaning and muttering of how good he felt get louder.

"Kats ... gonna cum again. Pleasepleaseplease ... you gotta cum first! It w- oh god - it works better if you cum first ... I think! Hurry up!" You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him deeper into you. You could feel your walls tightening and pulsating around his cock and it was the most exquisite feeling.

"Bah, fuck, I'm close babe. Gonna fill you up so good. Fuck, gonna fill you up with my cum." He grabbed your legs and pushed them back so your knees were against your chest and your ankles were at his ears. He held onto the back of your legs and pounded into you with all the strength he had left in him.

"Yesyesyes! Katsuki! Cum in me!" You were on the edge of your orgasm and you couldn't hold it at bay any longer. You felt the hot wetness of his seed filling you up and you let yourself go, your pussy clenched around his cock.

He stayed inside you for a minute or two, panting and kissing your forehead. Droplets of sweat fell from his face to yours. It was disgustingly intimate. You had never felt closer to him. Physically or emotionally.

"I love you." He whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"I love you." You whispered back.

And with that, he rolled off of you and snuggled up against your back, his hand resting on your stomach. The two of you fell asleep a short time later. Still happily tangled up in one another.

The next morning you awoke to Katsuki gently rolling his cock against your ass. You turned your head as best you could to see him, but when you managed to, you saw that he was still fast asleep. It didn't diminish the arousal that began to creep its way through your body, though.

You rolled over and kissed his face, whispering sweet nothings to him as you tried to wake him. "Kaaats, you wanna go again?" Running your hand down his chest and stomach, stopping about halfway down his happy trail, he opened his eyes slowly and gave you a half smile that looked so sexy on him.

"Mornin' babe. Wha' was I doin'?" He asked, looking down at his erection. "Ah. Was havin' a really ... really good dream 'bout you. Wan' me to show ya what we were doin'?" He flopped onto his back and pulled you on top of him so you were straddling his waist. "Y'so fuckin' wet already. Damn woman. You could put out a fire with that pussy. Hm-hm. Let's start one first though, yeah?" His hands dug into the plush of your hips and pushed/pulled you over him.

Your cunt wrapped so perfectly around him made him let out the most guttural of moans that caused you to clench around nothing. But he felt it and moaned again. It was becoming a vicious little cycle: He'd moan, your body would react, so on and so forth.

He pulled you up, grabbing underneath your ass and lifted you so you were hovering just over his cock. You rolled your head forward to look at him as you slid down, putting just the head inside of you.

"Don't be a fuckin' tease." He growled at you and tried to pull you down, his cock twitching at the denial of the possibility of complete envelopment. "Fucking hell, you're so bratty. Gonna make you pay for this," he laughed.

"Sorry, can't hear you over how good just the head of your cock feels while I'm bouncin' on it." You smirked at him as you wiggled your hips side to side.

He reached up and grabbed your neck, pulling you down to him as he thrust up into you. "I said, don't be a fucking tease," he hissed out through a clenched jaw.

You felt your eyes roll back and your body tense up as he filled you completely. It was almost too much to handle. "Katsu ... ki ... ah, fu-ughh, fuck! Don't stop!" You couldn't hold on anymore. You ground your hips against him as you came, your pussy fluttering and gripping his cock so tightly he couldn't help but follow you over the edge.

All of a sudden, you stopped riding out the last waves of your orgasm. Sitting on top of him still, you put your hand over your mouth and you looked down at him with pure panic in your eyes. "Hmph ..." you shook your head when he asked if you were ok. "Hmphhuh," you gagged again. He helped you off of him and all but dragged your post-o, jellied, naked body to the bathroom and lifted the lid on the toilet for you.

"Y'fuckin' sick'er somethin', babe? Got the flu? What the hell's goin' on?" His brows furrowed and he scowled at you. You knew it was out of concern, not frustration.

You shook your head, trying to compose yourself after something so icky. Hating yourself for doing this right now. Right after such an intimate moment. While he was standing there, staring at you. Puking your guts out. Naked. "Don' knoooohhhh fuck, leave, Kats. Get out! Ple-!"

He squatted down next to you and held your hair back with his right hand and rubbed your back with his left. "'M not fuckin' leavin' you. Not for pukin', not for fuckin' nothin'. Y'fuckin' hear me? Better or worse. Sickness and health and all that other shit. Just shut up and finish. 'L be right here for ya."

The amount of fluid that left your face was disgusting. You'd never had such floodgates open like this before. Puking, crying, snot running from your nose. You were an actual mess. But he stood by you through all of it.

"Hey, babe ... d'ya ... ah shit. D'ya think yer pregnant?" Katsuki asked as you stood from the floor, moving slowly toward the sink to wash your face off. The sparkle in his eyes was undeniable. And it killed you that you had to tell him you weren't.

You leaned over the sink, your face in your hands, and started crying. "I ... oh, Kats. I'm ... I'm not. I took a test a couple of days ago. I didn't w-", his hands on your back silenced you. They were, to date, the most important hands in the world to you. They were strong. They were soft and warm and they are all encompassing. If there were any kind of god, you would live out the rest of your days under his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me? I don't want you carryin’ this all by yourself, y/n. What we don't succeed in doing together, we share the hardships and overcome that ... together. I'm so sorry, babe. I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I shouldn'ta left ya for so long." He spoke to you so quietly. Like his words would be the thing that finally throws you over the edge. The thing that finally breaks you.

"Maybe I ate something." You ran your forearm across your dry lips and hobbled back to the bed to bury yourself in the blankets. "I'm sorry, Kats. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I won't do that again, promise." He walked over to you and sat down on the edge and brushed the hair from your face.

"G'na get you some 7-up 'n a cold washcloth. Be right back, babe." You watched him walk out of the bedroom and turn down the hallway. His butt jiggling ever so slightly. It made you smile. And it made you feel something else.

"The hell ...?" You sat up in bed and realized that you were horny. Again. Katsuki came back a minute later with what he promised you. Something to drink and a cold, wet cloth for you to put on your face. Smiling as he handed you this stuff, you pulled him in close to you and kissed him on the cheek all the way down to his neck.

"Oh, babe. Yer jus' so ... hah. No matter what. Even with your hair matted to your face and your eyes puffy and red. I love you." He leaned over and kissed your forehead.

"Don't say it." You smiled at him. It was almost like you knew what he was going to say. And you couldn't bear to hear it. Not right now. You had no idea where you two stood in that department. You weren't ready to admit that to each other. Not yet. Not right now.

He smiled back and laid down next to you, spooning you from behind. He ran his hand along your waist and stomach, over and over. It was relaxing. And it was a little bit arousing, but you managed to keep yourself at bay. You had just thrown up, after all.

"I'm sorry, Kats. I'm sorry I can't give us the baby we want. I'm sorry I'm so fucking broken." You choked on your words as tears started to well in your eyes. "I'm so sorry."

He shifted behind you and held you tighter. "Babe, you're not broken. 'Sides, who says it ain't me? Maybe we should make a doctors appointment, yeah? Get my count tested and all that shit. Whatcha say?"

You sniffed and wiped your face with the washcloth. It felt good against your hot face. "You - Kats, you'd do that? You'd have your sperm count checked?" Rolling over to face him, you took his face in your hands and held it there while the two of you just stared at each other.

"Fuckin' never said I wouldn't! Course I will. 'F we ever wanna get to the bottom of this, we hafta explore every possibility, right?" He ran a rough finger along your cheek to collect the freshly fallen tears and wipe them on the sheets. You made an ick face at him and he told you to pipe down, they need to be changed anyway after the night you two just had on them.

***

A couple of weeks past and he had his appointment with the fertility specialist where they ran a count on Kats. They called and said his sperm was 'abnormally high and active'. Their exact words were, "We have never seen anything like it in our careers." He didn't shut up about it for 3 days.

This left you in a fog. Surely, you were the reason you two couldn't conceive. It made you feel like absolute shit. No matter what he said to you, it didn't lift the guilt you were trying to carry all on your own. You thought he shouldn't have to hurt when he wasn't the problem. This complex was exhausting you and you could feel yourself slipping deeper into sadness.

You went to the clinic at the end of the day that Friday, the last appointment they had for the week. They drew your blood and told you they would be in touch on Monday or Tuesday about the next step after they had a chance to evaluate the sample for any obvious

It was Saturday morning and you were both sitting on the back porch eating breakfast when your phone rang. "It's the clinic, Kats. You answer. I don't want to talk to them. They probably found a plastic bag where my uterus is supposed to be." You pushed your phone across the little glass tabletop and got up, carrying the dishes into the kitchen to wash them off.

"Yeah babe, on it. Hello? N-no. You're trying to reach Bakugou? Well, shit. Yeah. That's me, I mean ... I'm her husband, Katsuki. Yes! The man with incredible sperm!" He laughed, you cringed. "Wait, what? No, that's not ... I mean ...," his voice got quiet and he got up, walking across the yard to mess with a fence piece.

You watched him out there fiddle with the broken wooden slat and felt your heart breaking into even smaller pieces. "Fuck." You whispered, looking down at the tiny bubbles popping on the soaking dishes. A tear dripped from your chin and landed on your chest, darkening a spot on your gray Dynamight shirt.

Katsuki came walking into the kitchen and came over to you, putting his hands on your shoulders, he turned you to face him. "Hey, ma?" Getting down on his knees, he put his hands on your waist and smooshed his face into your tummy. "Ma?"

"Are you having a fucking stroke or something? What are you doing, dumbass?" You wiped your chin and huffed out a short, insincere laugh. "Kats, what did - what'd they say. Is it me? Am I ..."

"Yes, babe. It's you. It's you … and the little grenade you're carrying. You're ... we're ... having a baby, y/n. You're fuckin' pregnant." He beamed up at you, tears in his wide eyes. 

"It's you, babe. You and me. And … and … and a little us in you. We did it, y/n. We're gonna have a family!"

You covered your mouth with your hands and cried. Not just a few tears, but a full-on ugly cry. You were going to be a mom. Katsuki was going to be a dad. And this was just the beginning of your lives as a family.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe in us. I'm sorry I let myself think for a second that it wouldn't be us. Us. Just us. I'm so happy it's us." You bent over and kissed his forehead. He stood and wrapped you in his arms and you both just stood there letting this new beautiful reality sink in.

The future was yours and yours alone … well, and Kats’ and the babies, of course. 

Taglist ::: @dreamcastgirl99 @viburnt @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82

[sleepyboywrites]

Nsfw Pasta Headcannons

My sincerest apologies I stumbled upon a few posts and couldn't stop thinking about it... Nsfw warning..

• Eyeless Jack

• 100% a top

• The only way you're topping him is when you ride him, which even then no you're not.

• Animalistic. Growls, grunts, and huffs. Tends to cage you beneath him like his prey as he plows you.

• Needy like an Alpha in Rut. I'm talking he'll grip on to you as he desperately ruts into you and because lust is a form of hunger for flesh the demonic man needs more than one round each session.

• Soft dom for sure and a service top who ideally wants a service bottom

• Think "Shh, little one, you're doing so good for me, you can handle a couple more rounds for me, hmm? Let me make you feel good a few more times, can't you?"

• Breeding kink, he doesn't care if he can't actually get you pregnant, if you don't have the "equipment" to do so, or if it'd make you uncomfortable to be, he doesn't have to make you pregnant in actuality, if you can't or don't want to he won't but he just loves to try. Just the thought of of pumping you so full of him and seeing you so full of him turns him on.

• Super into marking. Biting, hickies, claw marks, you name it. He likes leaving proof that you're his behind.

• He's practically blind so all of his other senses are heightened, he is legitimately so good at hitting all the right spots.

• Long tongue, monster cock, enough said.

• Likes cockwarming, specifically after the a session, you're just so warm and welcoming and full, why'd he want to pull out?

• If he wasn't such a clean freak, he'd probably be into butt plugs/keeping his cum inside you. But since I feel like he tries to keep personal spaces/property clean he wouldn't.

• Really good at aftercare, we're talking bubble bath, water, snacks, cuddles the works.

• Ben drowned

• Switch

• Loves to 'play' with you and have you 'play' with him

• Would 100% want to mess around while video gaming and the two of you probably have in whatever way you could ever think of.

• Also likes cockwarming but in a more traditional way of he just likes having you on his cock feeling your walls around him without doing anything other than being inside you or vice versa.

• Wants to fuck you or be fucked by you in full cosplay.

• He's a thigh guy. He likes thighs. He likes to sit with his head between your thighs and give you head.

• He also likes overstimulation so he likes to sit with his head squeezed between your thighs giving you head until you're crying and trembling and can't give him any more. Also enjoys should you do the same.

• So needless to say also a multiple rounds type of guy.

• Bro is almost always horny I swear to God. Like he'll watch you through your phone as you take a shower relieving himself as he does so and fucking you right after you get out. His Libido is insane.

• A wee bit of a somnophilliac. But think a 'yes' or 'no' pillow situation where if you ever fell asleep on the yes side you'd wake up cock drunk or vice versa.

• Also a dacryphilliac in the sense where he loves seeing you cry from pleasure overload.

• Has a mild degradation kink and likes it best when paired with praise. Think, "That a good slut, don't let a drop go to waste okay?"

• He's into hypnosis and mind control, something about being all foggy brained as he gets his guts rearranged/the glossy far away look in your eyes as he fucks you until you're dick drunk makes him hard as hell. He likes controlling you and being controlled by you.

• His idea of aftercare is falling asleep in your arms or with you in his arms waking up a few hours later to wash off the now cold and uncomfortable sticky situation putting on each other's shirts and waking up in the morning to have sex again, then water/breakfast if he's feeling sweet.

• Laughing Jack

• Probably hot take I think he wouldn't... I think he's ace and sex repulsed.

• I think because he was once a guardian angel for a child he just thinks it's really not for him and he's okay with that.

• But if his beloved asked for some 'help' in one way or shape or another he'd help them. Or if you asked him to 'play' with you. He would.

• He'd also watch you if you wanted him to and be really good with aftercare.

• Jeff the Killer

• "100"% Top, you'd be punished if you tried to top him and failed but if you tried and succeeded he'd bottom for you and probably enjoy it enough to let you top him again.

• Sadist

• Hard dom

• Brat tamer

• Somnophilliac and dacryphilliac, he likes it best when they go hand in hand

• Has a knife kink and likes knife play

• Needy and has a degradation kink. Think projecting insults and such. Like "Such a needy little cock slut, look at you, your body sucks me in so greedily, you really need to be dicked down so badly, huh slut?"

• Loves objectification and dumbification. Loves how your his cock sleeve, cum dumpster, and fuck toy.

• Would ideally have a brat as a partner and would ideally get to punish them every night.

• Likes tying you up and blindfolding you.

• Also likes edging a lot, in fact most nights is an edging session in itself. He loves to see how close he can get the both of you to climax without ever letting you or himself cum.

• Into orgasm denial as well. Like if you cum before you were given permission, he'll make sure you can't cum for the rest of the night while he cums plenty.

• Glory holes turn him on, he likes the thought of fucking you through one.

• Into breath play and choking, both giving and receiving

• He'll deadass just say "That was fun" or "Thanks baby!" or something along those lines, pull you to his chest while groping your ass as "aftercare"

• Homicidal Liu

• Soft dom/service top

• his nurturing nature extends to the bedroom. He has rules for you in the bedroom and out that if you follow will lead to rewards and if you don't lead to punishment.

• unless you misbehave then he'll have no choice but to punish you because brats don't get to cum or have 'playtime' at all, they get to watch 'sir' cum without them.

•orgasm denial/overstimulation

• On the other hand if you're good you get to cum until you physically can't anymore. Congratulations.

• Has a worship kink wants to worship you and be worshipped in return. He will lap you up like you're the nectar of the gods, savoring in your sweet, decadent noises until you melt in his mouth. Caressing you as he buried himself in your heat and feeling oh so powerful as you look at him lovingly as he pounds you taking pride in the fact he's the only one who's making you cum.

• Has a praise kink and will praise you non stop.

• Has a thing for thigh highs/garters/collars/ears and a tail

• Also has a thing for you wearing his clothes.

• Into dumbification in the sweet way. Think "Ah ah honey, thinking is my job. You're just my sweet little thing, let me take care of everything."

• He adores "easy access" anything

• into dacryphillia in the sense he likes making you cry from pleasure.

• The king of after care just like with EJ there will be bathing, water, snacks, praise, cuddles the works.

• Ticci Toby

• He's a switch in the term that he'd let you ride him while he was tied up, blindfolded, and unable to move or touch you and let you milk him dry. But you're not pegging/fucking him.

• Into roleplay scenarios.

• Likes seeing you half dressed, loves seeing you half dressed moaning beneath him or bouncing on his cock.

• Huge Pervert, you can't do anything without him getting bricked af.

• Likes strip teases/lap dances

• He adores "easy access" anything

• Loves marking and overstimulation. Also orgasm control. Basically anything that marks you as his or proves he's in charge of pleasuring you and only he truly satisfied you.

• I'll be so fr with you he also loves being covered in hickies by you.

• Also loves to tie you up. You're like a present for him and only him.

• He's down to try almost anything at least once.

• into dacryphillia in the sense he likes making you cry from too much intense pleasure.

• Has a thing for enthusiastic consent. It legitimately is something he cannot proceed without and it turns him on to know you want him that badly.

• Has a voice kink and a praise kink.

• He loves getting you dick drunk and likes it better when your hips grind needily against his after you're all orgasmed out but so foggy that you want more nonetheless as you warm his cock.

• He's surprisingly good at aftercare, he'll wash you up, bring you some water, tell you how happy and proud he is, and cuddle you.

• Brian/Hoodie

• 100% Top

• He has a Daddy Kink and likes dd/l

• He gets hard picking out your outfits and dressing you as well as bathing you.

• He's a soft Dom but he's rough in bed if the two of you had a dry spell he'll fuck you as desperately as EJ does.

• Otherwise however normally he treats you like you're made of glass as he fucks you.

• Has a kink/fetish for infantilization/dumbification. "Baby, sweetheart , doll face you can't take care of yourself. You're too little, so just stay with daddy, let daddy take care of you, make you feel good, hm?"

• Also has a breeding kink, he wants you to be filled with his seed each time the two of you fuck.

• He doesn't take kindly to teasing, if you tease him he'll edge and overstimulate you until you physically cannot cum anymore. Aka BIG on orgasm control

• He loves to leave hickies and bite marks all over you.

• He's also a somnophilliac, he likes making you squirm and whimper as you wake up on his cock.

• He has a corruption kink. He likes doing lewd things to his innocent looking partner/little.

• That leads us to dacryphillia he likes making you cry from intense pleasures he caused you as you tremble and cling to him

• He's very good, an expert even, at aftercare he does everything right so you are taken care of with both physical and mental needs.

• Tim/Masky

• 100% Top

• I feel like he likes to be called master or sir

• He has a thing for praising you

•A voice kink for hearing your pretty noises

• He loves manhandling you and likes to pin you down beneath him.

•Likes pulling hair/guiding your head via your hair.

• Gets hard as a rock when you wear his clothes he doesn't care what for

• He's into dumbification and getting you so drunk on pleasure that you forget your own name.

• Something about if you wear the hat you ride the cowboy and your cowboy has very good control so you're going to be there for a while until he's had his full which is when he'll actually start trying.

• He's into edging and overstimulation hand in hand meaning edging the two of you to each orgasm and then going until neither of you can cum anymore.

• This man loves marking you.

• He'll cover every inch he can with hickies and bite marks.

• In fact, the main reason you're sore is not only because he rocked your shit but you are covered in hickies and bite marks, everywhere, too much to even attempt to cover.

• He's an expert on aftercare and your aftercare is specifically catered to your needs as a partner and person as well as your physical needs: water, food if hungry, bathing.

[sonnyangelgirl]

i need re2r stalker leon with an idol reader :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

mdni

warnings: stalking, gross leon, this is unfinished i donr think i ever will finish it 😇😇😇 enjoy tho i didnt proof read this

imagine, you're an up-and-coming idol, your group isn't all that popular and you aren't really a fan favorite.

he's just some cop, doesn't have a girlfriend, probably not getting one soon. he's attractive, sure, but he's not good with women.

one day, he hangs out with claire. the whole time she just rambles about this girl group she discovered, showing leon a video of them!

claire was just ecstatic about the fact that your group was coming to racoon city and she got tickets to see you.

she invites leon to the concert with her, he doesn't have anything to do so he agrees to go. when the day comes, he sees you.

you're just so.. cute! the way you glow onstage, you have that kind, girl-next-door vibe to you. he can't help but stare at you in pure awe, you were so beautiful.

he had to have you to himself.

as soon as he got home he researched everything about you!

he feels so gross, hes a grown man! why is he so obsessed over an idol that doesn't even know he exists??

Well, its fine anyways. This is what your company wants, right? To make these creepy losers obsessed with your group and spend all their money ln merch!

Plus, he wasn't obsessed with you per se, he just... really liked you, alot!

He thought you were pretty and wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to count how many moles you had on your body, he wanted to know your favorite things, what you disliked, etc! There's nothing wrong with that.. right?

He wasn't gonna buy any of your merch, he wasn't that weird! For God's sake, he was a cop, a grown man, why would he spend his hard earned money on some stupid idol goodies?

As soon as he got his next paycheck, he ordered some of your merch.

This couldn't keep going! He just needed to be closer to you!

When your company announced tickets for a fansign, he was quick to buy them.

Sure, he will only be able to eat instant noodles of the next few weeks if he wanted to pay his bills, but it's okay! Its worth it because of you.

He saw people buying their favorite idols some gifts, he wasn't sure what to get you so he just bought a bouquet of flowers and a plushie of your favorite animal.. he tried.. ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

He doesn't really care about talking to the other members much, and when it's his turn to talk to you, he could cry of happiness.

his face turns so flushed and he gets a bit sweaty, when you offer to shake his hand, he swears healmost creams his pants. Your hands were so small, he could smell your perfume and it was making him all hazy inside.

"Hii, what's your name?" Your voice echoes through his head, he cant even think.

"Leon — 'm.. uh.. I got you — a gift.." He stuttered like crazy, his hands trembled as he handed you the flowers and plushie.

You see the way he's nervous, you put a gentle hand on his shoulder and smile sweetly, "Hey, no need to be nervous, okay?" You say this despite the fact he has the mannerisms a total creep. Sure, hes cute, has a nice face and moles, but still, you cant help but feel creeped out.

It's your job as an idol though, to smile, be nice, let the fans be weird to you. His face lights up when you say that.

[nuttytani]

Oh no! My suicidal big tiddies man got isekai'd

fandom: honkai star rail

characters: blade and gender neutral reader

tw: none except- maybe not proof read?

a/n: a silly birthday gift for my lovely friend here @tsubaki3192

It was currently 2 AM and you have been playing video games for hours now. Looking at the time made you instinctively yawn and stretch those stiff arms. You were interrupted by a strange gurgling sound coming from somewhere…. Actually, it was just you and your hungry tummy. Since it was super late to cook anything (and risky because it might wake up the entire house), you quickly sneaked into the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge.

There were no leftovers. Just some sauce bottles, pickles, butter and milk. The fridge was positively empty of any food. There wasn’t even bread. What were you going to do with sauce and pickles? That didn’t sound appetising at all.

“Awe… There’s nothing,” you said while closing the fridge. Then you opened it again and finally grabbed that milk. That was your only hope.

At least it’s good for my bones, calcium and shit yeah?

Your legs and particularly knees have been creaky and making weird popping noises recently. Maybe those bones might be thanking you for the milk. Chuckling to your silly thoughts, you head back to your room, with a cup of milk and proceed to turn your computer off.

A weird green horizontal line appeared on your screen and your wallpaper surrounding that line turned pixelated. The speaker connected to your computer emitted creepy static-y noises like those really old radio. Something was not right and that something would land you in shit because this wasn’t some cheap ol’ computer. You painstakingly saved up for this bad boy after hours of part time jobs here and there while also struggling with your uni life. The model wasn’t anything new but it was good enough for you and it was your baby. That very baby was dying in front of you. You needed to fix it.  You instantly scrambled back into your chair and tried to check for cables. Maybe some cables were loose. Before you could even touch a wire, the entire screen turned green and turned black. The static noises stopped as well.

“Well… Guess I’m doomed.” You slide your hands down your face and slump down like that Shinji in a chair meme. If this was some horror story though this would be the perfect timing for a hacker or weird murderer to send a message like “I see you” or something of the sort. Actually, what if some weirdo dark web hacker was onto you and wanted to kill you for whatever reason?

Okay, that’s it. This was sleep deprivation talking. You need sleep. Like right now. There’s no hacker that wanted to murder you, it’s probably the lack of sleep frying your brain cells. You were a normal college student, trying to survive in this cutthroat dog-eats-dog world. Even if something does happen, it won't happen to you. Well, your computer dying aside…. NPCs such as yourself don’t get “fun privileges”.

That’s what you thought about 5 minutes ago when you didn’t have a razor-sharp blade pointed at your eye and you laid in your bed wondering what wrongs you committed in your past life that was happening to you. Did you steal a priest's robe? Did you offend some god by swearing at them? Fuck you past life self.

The person holding the sword was still hunched over you and didn’t move their sword. Not even a single centimetre. One wrong movement and you could lose your lovely sight once and for all!

“What is this place and who are you?” asked the person. Judging by their deep voice they were probably a man. They sounded really familiar. You squinted your eyes at the person. Hmmm, bluish-black hair, red highlights… He had some… Real nice assets... Meaning nicely shaped tits…. Hmmm.

“W-what are you doing!” the person raised their voice in surprise and took a step back.

Oh, they must have noticed you ogling. Was it that obvious? You keep staring at their assets because who knows when you’ll have the chance next time? And then your attention finally falls on his sword, it was a deep black that slowly turned into red towards the end and the shaft of the sword had golden crack patterns, you assumed it’s kintsugi.

Wait hold up, that sword looked too familiar. You have seen that many times.

“Holy shit! Are you Blade? Like the Stellaron Hunter Blade?” you exclaimed at the person.

“....Yes. Don’t you dare call the IPC. Or you will face my sword.”

“Well, I’ve been facing your sword for 10 minutes now…. Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m talking to THE Blade. One and only Blade. Like actually from Honkai Star Rail? Who is basically lovers to enemies with Dan Heng? Can I touch you? Actually, I always thought your hair was pretty, can I please braid it?”

Blade was speechless and looked like a fish out of water and slowly sheathed his sword.

“Am I dreaming right now or is this what you call a sleep-deprived hallucination… I can’t tell.”

You were met with silence… He didn’t reply.

“I guess it’s a hallucination. ‘Mkay, goodnight, Mr. Dream-slash-hallucination-Blade.”

Just like that you slumped back into your bed, closed your eyes and snoozed.

.

Blade was left terribly confused.

Well, he was a Stellaron Hunter, you should be scared for your life. He kills people for a living. Most people would just have one glimpse of him and go running down the hill while screaming for their lives. But you didn’t? Even when you knew his identity? And his not-widely-known relationship with Dan Heng?

Clearly, you didn’t see him as a threat. He also noticed the way your eyes lingered around his chest.

Silver Wolf did say that he had “some big tiddies” for a man. Whatever that meant. And he’s currently stuck in this room. He had no idea how he ended up here. Just that he was speaking with Kafka about their latest “script” and the details given by Elio. And poof. Some strange glitch happened, and he ended up here. In this tiny room. A huge mess of a room. It was devastating to look at. The desk was covered with stacks of unorganised documents and some random trashy novels. There were also a few strange items that looked nearly identical to him… he tries to recall Silver Wolf’s terminology sessions… Merch? Clothes were all thrown over the office chair like it was some cover.  And the bookshelf was a wreck. An absolute wreck. He could even see how your closet wasn’t even fully closed! How many things were just packed in there?

Looking at the room triggered his migraine. He needed to do something about the state of this room, as soon as possible. Since he basically had nothing to do, he decided to clean stuff up. He organised your shelf– the books were in the order of the genre as well as the titles. He folded and hung your clothes and lined them up according to colour, as well as length. Cleaned up your desk, put away your documents into your drawer, hung up the merch on your cork display, vacuumed and mopped your floors and everything else that he noticed that was out of place.

By the time he was done it was already morning.

.

The birds were shining– no, hold up, that’s wrong, it was supposed to be the sun was shining. Yeah so, the sun was shining! The birds were singing! But why was your favourite game character in the flesh, right in front of you. Were you still dreaming? That’s impossible. You were definitely 100% awake. So you decided to simply stare at the video game character, who was acting like a total malewife cleaning your room. Your mind quickly flashed a Pikachu surprised face at the scene. You were sure that your face was looking like that too.

After what felt like an eternity of staring, you finally spoke, “So you’re real….?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Blade replied in a deadpan voice and a straight face.

Ok so he was real. That was established. Here’s the issue though. How were you going to keep a used-to-be-a-bunch-of-pixels-but-isn’t-anymore man in your room and your house? How were you going to explain this strange man being present in your room overnight to your family? Although you loved your suicidal big tiddies, man…. He needed to go. All those isekai stories and novels you read never talked about what to do when a fictional man just poofs into your house that you share with your family. How does one handle the situation? Someone better make a novel on this now… How does anyone even expect to cope with something like this? What to do now?

You muttered under your breath while thinking and paced around the room like a manic and started, “Should I hide you under the bed? No, you’re too huge for that. My closet doesn't have enough space for you either…. Oh, maybe you can hide in the bushes? Like jump out of my window and stay in there… for some time till I call for you.”

Blade motioned to you to shut up. Fair enough. You guess you were being too loud. Suicidal man needed some quiet time, you supposed.

“No need, I can simply do this.” Blade snapped his finger and he disappeared into thin air. There was another snapping sound, and he came back.

“This is a high-tech feature made by the Stellaron hunters that helps us to appear as if we’ve become transparent,” Blade explained.

“Cool. You should have just told me that sooner.”

And that is how your daily life with the suicidal big tiddies man started. Well it started-ish. He needed to go back to his universe but he said that the Stellaron Hunting could wait. Blade decided that he was on a paid vacation. Thankfully he could still converse with his colleagues, and they were figuring out how to get him back, although they assured you and Blade both that it wouldn’t be a difficult task except it might take a few months till Blade could reunite with the Stellaron Hunters. In the meantime, however, you were tasked to take care of Blade by Kafka and Silver Wolf. 

You and Blade had lots of fun, or at least you think he did. Every day was like a sleepover. Having facials and putting on face masks on each other while watching movies. Or playing some multiplayer games. Blade sucked at gaming, so you had to teach him a bit. You also read him trashy romance novels and even some funny fanfics to him. One day you two even went out to go shopping for some clothes because your big tiddies man could not wear the same pair of clothes every day. Plus, he needed some variety and those cowboy jeans needed to go. Immediately. He looked funny with them on, and no one wore bell bottom jeans in this era.

Though Blade was very sad to part from his fanservice clothes, he fell in love with hoodies and sweatpants. He said they were soft and comfortable to wear. He also wore his hair in a high ponytail or a low bun to blend in with others. You suggested him to get his hair trimmed but he didn’t like that suggestion at all. Blade even gave you a nasty glare for that.

Meanwhile, your family thought you were getting too lonely because they kept hearing you talk to yourself or “someone”. They tried to gently poke you about it every now and then since they were concerned for your mental health, but you would always brush them off.

Recently they saw you holding hands with thin air. Your family definitely knew something was going on now. They even considered calling an exorcist because that was so weird. They even heard a man’s voice speak.

That’s a whole different story though. Maybe for another time!

Until then, Fin <3.

a/n: yeah this was very crack and not serious lol.

here's my taglist if you ever wanna get notified about my fic/hc posts!

[lisacameron99]

Revelation S.R.

Summary: based on the Criminal Minds episode Revelation (2x15)

Y/N Hotcher (Little Hotch) x eventual Spencer Reid

Warnings: angst, Spencer being tortured, Tobias Henkel, usual Criminal Minds stuff?, swearing, reader/I being really angry at the world because she loves Spencer but won't admit it, friends to lovers, emotions, idk if I am missing anything

LONG AF AND NOT PROOFED

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where’s Spencer?” I asked, looking around the farm. “And JJ?”

“I don’t know, come check out the barn with me and Prentiss.” Morgan told me. We made our way to the barn and when we opened it, JJ pointed her gun at us, eyes wild.

There was a lot of commotion with trying to get JJ to lower her gun. I noticed the dead dogs. Jezebel. Oh God.

“Tobias Henkel is the unsub.” JJ told us once she realized it was us.

“We know,” I said gently.

“We just thought he was a witness. I had to kill them.” She said referring to the dogs. I glanced at the dead animals again and rubbed my temples. “There’s nothing left.”

“JJ, where’s Spencer?” I asked her but she didn’t answer me.

“JJ, look at me,” Prentiss prompted. JJ focused on her. “Where’s Reid?”

“Oh, uh, we split up. He went around back.”

I ran back outside to tell Dad and Gideon that we found JJ but not Spencer.

"Dad,” I called, running up to him. “Dad, JJ was in the barn, but Spencer’s not.”

“We searched the rest of the property and the house and he’s not there either. Neither is Henkel.”

“So,” I gulped, looking at my dad. “So where’s Spencer?”

“I don’t know. But we will find him.” Dad promised me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was standing with JJ and Emily by the ambulance while they checked JJ out.

“Hey, any sign of him?” Prentiss asked Morgan and he shook his head.

"You can't find Reid?" JJ asked, confused.

"Not yet," Prentiss told her.

"Prentis, Little Hotch." Derek pulled us away from JJ. "I think Reid followed him into the cornfield, it looks likes somebody got dragged." I rubbed my temple, trying to push away the stress migraine that was impounding.

"Hey, what's going on?" Prentiss asked the officer who just got off the phone.

"The sheriff two towns over. He just gave directions to a man who fit Henkel's description. It's to a motor lodge in Fort Bend."

"Let's get Hotch and Gideon." Morgan said and I went back to JJ.

After hours of not finding Spencer, morning came which brought Penelope too.

"You know they do have hotels in Georgia." She told me and Aaron.

"There's no sense splitting time between here and a field office." He told her, ushering her into the house.

"Right." She agreed warily, looking around the property.

"Think of the house as a witness," He explained to her. "If it could talk, what would it tell us?"

"My guess is it would tell us to get the hell out." She responded.

We made our wait into the main living room and JJ greeted Penelope with, "Welcome to our nightmare."

"His computer is an extension of his brain," Gideon told her. "I need you to dissect it."

"I'll get you set up, come on." Derek told her, taking her to where the computers were at.

"I'll come with," I mumbled, walking past my dad and everybody else, to go with Penelope and Morgan.

The rest of our team filled Dad in on everything, but there was no evidence pointing where Spencer and the unsub could be.

"Okay, right out the gate, the guy is self taught." Penelope told us. "His mainframe is totally idiosyncratic, but it's pretty brilliant."

"Talk to me about what this son of a bitch watches online. What the hell is all of this?" Morgan told her, trying his best to figure out the computers and how we could use it to help us know Henkel better.

"It's tame stuff, video games, software sports. Seriously, if I had to guess whose system this belongs to, I would say a crazy smart high school kid."

"Well clearly it's not Penelope. Can you please find us something that will help us find Spencer?" I snapped before walking out the room and back outside.

I hated this. How could Spencer have gotten so far away so fast? Where the hell was he being held? Please God, I begged, please bring him back to me. Please. I hadn't prayed in years, especially with my mom and dad fighting, but I knew we had a slim chance at getting Spencer back, and God was probably the only person to bring him to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey guys!" Morgan called to us, I looked up at him from where I was sitting with Gideon on the steps. "I think I got something."

I ran over to where he was and he found a cellar.

I pulled out my gun as Morgan opened the door. "Tobias Henkel, FBI!" Dad and I followed him inside. We got our flashlights out and searched the ice cellar. "Tobias Henkel! Tobias!"

Dad moved closer to the unmoving body. "I think we just found Henkel's father." Well, shit.

We made our way out of the cellar and let CSI do their thing while we went back into the house.

"You need to get some sleep." Gideon told me and I rolled my eyes. "Sometimes it felt like I had two dads between Hotch and Gideon.

"I'm fine."

"When was the last time you slept?" JJ asked me.

"When was the last time for you?" I snapped back, my anger seeping through. I wanted to find Spencer. I wanted him back.

"Y/N, you need to get some sleep." Dad told me and I stomped my foot.

"Is that an order?" I demanded, looking my dad square in the face.

"Yeah, it is." He shot back and I threw my gun on the table, making JJ jump at the noise. I went into the living room and grabbed my blanket and my dad's pillow from the corner and laid on the floor to take a nap. There was no way in hell I was sleeping on any of the furniture here. After a few minutes, I felt JJ come sit by me, resting her back against the couch.

"I'm sorry." She muttered.

"I'm sorry too." I muttered back.

"I'm so stressed out that I can't sleep." She admitted after a few minutes.

"I can't either. I just want to find him." I relented.

"I saw you guys, at the club. You danced."

"Liquid courage fixes a lot of the world's problems. Sometimes."

"You guys would be cute together."

"You must be sleep deprived."

"I know what I saw at the club. You both like each other, you're practically dating anyways, why not just make it official?" And with that thought running through my brain, I fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morgan just told me that he thinks the stressor is the father's death, which happened about six months ago." Dad told me and Gideon as we sifted through the papers.

"So basically he has split personality disorder?" I banged my head on the table.

"This journal is filled with religious ramblings." Morgan told us, coming into the room with the journal. "He notates hour by hour. November 15th, 3:17 - if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will. And it goes on and on. 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42. But then it goes blank for days."

Morgan handed me the journal and I looked at it, getting a sense of who Henkel was. Dad put a hand on his head, thinking. "Maybe he got sick of writin'," The sheriff suggested.

"I think I got it," Dad said, and I looked at him hopefully.

"What is it?" Gideon asked him.

"Yeah, Dad, what did you figure out?"

"Journal entry - December 6th - father sick, wants me to put him down. I say, "Thou shalt not kill," He says, "Honor thy father." Must pray for guidance." Oh. So he killed his dad...

Before I could finish my thought, Gideon interrupted. "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"

"Some sick sort of mercy." I muttered, flipping through the journal in my hand before giving it back to Morgan.

"This is two months ago. Tobias Henkel's father had been dead for four months already." Dad told us.

"That's exactly it. Look at the floor," Morgan told us, pulling a chair out for us to see. "These scuff marks are fresh." He was right, they were. "I mean it's like two people were moving the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

"So?" The sheriff asked.

"This journal matches Charles Henkel's handwriting, but it was written after he died. Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom - it's got junk puled from the floor to the ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection." Morgan explained.

"So are you telling me, one of Tobias' personalities was his father?" The sheriff asked, trying to make sense of this situation.

"Well," Gideon put in, "Tobias was raised with a strict religious code - black and white - right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

"And his brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so it split into two personalities." Dad said.

"To keep his father alive." I finished.

"So... who is Raphael?" The sheriff asked, confused.

"My guess - he's a mediator between the two. Angels have no human emotions. Live or die, they don't care, as long as it's God's will."

"We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

"I'll get Penelope on it." I said, standing up and walking to the computer room.

"Pen, I need you to log into the system as Tobias' father."

"The system was set up three months ago. The dad was already dead."

"She knows that, smarty pants, but do it for your favorites anyway, alright?" Morgan said, coming in behind me.

"Okay," Penelope said, starting to type.

"Charles Henkel." Derek told her.

Tons of horrifying imagines and videos showed up on the screen. I closed my eyes and cracked my neck. This was going to be bad.

"Woah," Penelope said trying to take it all in.

"He's crazy." I mumbled. "Like crazy crazy. I can't imagine having split personalities, let alone, one of them be insane."

After a few minutes of Penelope trying to do her thing, the computers went blank.

"What happened?" Morgan asked her, confused.

She wasn't much help because she was equally confused. "I don't know?"

"What do you mean, you don't know?" I demanded, scared.

All of a sudden on most of the screens, Spencer showed up. He was bound to a chair beaten and bloodied.

"Oh my god." Penelope said, taking the words straight from my mouth.

"Guys! Guys!" Morgan shouted to the team. "Get in here!"

"He's been beaten." Prentiss said, assessing him.

"Can't you track him?" JJ asked, confused. I put a hand over my mouth, trying to remain composed.

"Henkel's only streaming this to his home computer." Penelope told them.

"This is for us, for Y/N, he knows we're here."

"I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick." Morgan spat, angry.

"Why can't you locate him?" Dad asked Penelope.

"He's rerouting to a different I.P Address every thirty seconds. I can't track him."

"Can you really see inside men's minds?" Tobias asked Spencer. "See these vermin. Choose one to die. I'll let you choose one to live."

"No," I gasped at Spencer'svoice.

"I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior." Tobias said.

"You're a sadist ina psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word's not true." Spencer told him, trying to snap him out of the personality he was in. Tobias was either Raphael or his father at the moment.

"The other heathens are watching. That whore of yours, she's watching. Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved."

"I won't choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like poacher." Playing into the fantasy. Good job, Spence, I thought.

"Can you really see into my mind, boy?" Tobias demanded lifting Spencer out of the chair. I gasped audibly, grabbing onto Gideon's arm. "Can you see I'm not a liar?" He yelled. "Choose one to die, and save a life. Otherwise, they're all dead."

"Alright," Spencer gave in, not wanting more people than necessary to die. "I'll choose who lives."

"They're all the same." Tobias spat at him.

"Far right screen." Spencer finally said.

"Marilyn David, 4913 Walnut Creed Road." Tobias said.

"You got that?" Dad asked Penelope.

"Yeah." She said, typing her fastest on the computer.

Gideon typed the phone number on a phone and it dialed.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end said.

"Marilyn David. My name is Jason Gideon. I'm with the FBI."

"What?" She said alarmed, Gideon told her to turn her computer off immediately and she did so.

"You're Raphael." Spencer said. Before anything else could happen, the screen went dark. Morgan walked out of the room, angry, and punched the door. I gripped JJ's hand hard, needing the contact to stay grounded.

"So now what? We wait for a 911 call, and hope we get there in time?" The sheriff asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the next victims were killed, Dad, Gideon and I went to the crime scene.

"Slaughtered, same as the others. We've got roadblocks for a fifteen mile radius. Every unit's on the road, but so far nothing." I pushed the stray hairs out of my face and looked at the crime scene.

"I don't know how much longer Reid can hold out," Dad said quietly, giving in to his fear that Spencer might not make it.

"Who were the victims?" Gideon asked, ignoring Dad.

"Pam and Mike Hayes. He was a local defense attorney."

"And what Bible passage was left?" Gideon asked another question. I went and stood next to him.

"Isaiah 59. No one calls for justice, "no one pleads their case with integrity. They rely on empty arguments, they utter lies they conceive trouble and give birth to evil."

Gideon got close to the camera, "Reid, if you're watching, you're not responsible for this. You understand me? He's perverting God to justify murder. You are strong than him. He cannot break you."

"We're not getting any closer." Dad told us.

"Reid's brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive." Gideon said, trying to reassure us, himself included.

"You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain, but I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

"Lead by example." Gideon responded.

"What kind of example is that?" Dad asked.

"He'll make it."

"He has to." I whispered. "He has to make it." God, I prayed. Bring him back to me. Please just bring him back to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We can trace their whole family history." Morgan said, looking at the evidence board we made up. "Here we got happy, smiling pictures of Tobias. Report cards all As and Bs, but as an eight year old, we get nothing."

"That's his mother leaving." Prentiss said from her spot next to me. "Six months later, on the other side of the board, we have a form from child services saying they paid a visit."

"Then Charles starts keeping journals about punishing sinners and needing to remove the devil from his son." I added. "Which corresponds to Tobias' drug use. He's trying to escape."

"So wherever Reid is, it was Tobias' choice, not this fathers." Morgan told us.

"How do you figure?" Prentiss asked him.

"Look at these two lives." Morgan pointed out. "They're like inverse graphs. One's getting weaker while the other one's getting angrier. Tobias would run away, his father would have stood and fought."

"Okay, so Tobias uses drugs as an escape. I'll go back through the journals with Y/N and see if we can find anything connecting his drug use to a hiding place."

"Uh, where's Gideon?" JJ asked walking into the room.

"He's upstairs. Why? What's going on?" Morgan asked her. JJ glanced at me before responding.

"Henkel's jut posted the latest murder."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all gathered in the computer room to watch. It was horrific. Absolutely horrific. In everyway imaginable.

"I don't understand, why can't we just shut it down?" Gideon asked, pacing, confused by technology.

"Because I can't pinpoint his IPF." Penelope tried to explain.

"Just remove it once he sends it." Jason told her.

"It doesn't work like that." I said. "It's the internet."

"It's the internet, sir. Like Y/N said. Once something's out there, you can never take it back."

"It must remain. You can't undo anything."

"Right, you can't once it's up. Once it's up, it's up forever."

"I hate technology. Can you please do something? Anything? I do not want him thinking he has a pulpit."

"I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus. I'm gonna do that. Okay." Penelope sent it out.

After a few moments, Tobias, as Charles, started streaming live again. "Do you think you can defy me?" Tobias said.

"I don't know what he's talking about." Spencer pleaded with him.

"You're a liar! You're pitiful! Just like my son. This ends now." I gasped when he pulled the gun on Spencer. "Confess your sins. Confess!" He hit Spencer in the face, making me cry out.

"I haven't don anything! Tobias, help me!" Spencer begged. I covered my mouth, tears streaming down my face.

"He can't help you. He's weak." Tobias, as Charles, said to him.

"Tobias!" Spencer cried.

"Confess your sins!" Tobias, as Charles, demanded again.

"Help!"

"Oh my god. He's killing him." Penelope said. I put the other hand over my mouth, trying to stifle my cries as Spencer started choking and the chair toppled over with him in it. He was dying. Actually dying.

Gideon stormed out and Dad, Prentiss, JJ and Morgan raced in. I hugged Dad tightly as Penelope explained what happened. Dad pulled away and went to get Gideon. I continued to silently cry. God, please, please save him. Let him come back to me. Please. I kept praying it over and over in my head, hoping He was listening.

Tobias came back into the room and started performing CPR on Spencer. Eventually after a few rounds, Spencer started coughing and breathing. I let out a strangled cry before clamping my mouth shut.

"Wait, wait a second." Prentiss said. "When was the last video posted?"

"9:23." Penelope responded.

"And - and what was the time of death?" She asked.

"The 911 call came in at 9:04 and the murder must have been moments later." Dad told her.

"That's only a 19 minute difference!" I said, looking over at JJ who nodded.

"How long would it take to post the mpeg?" Morgan asked Penelope.

"Two or three minutes." Penelope mumbled, guessing.

"Let's call it two." Morgan said.

"You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area." I piped up again. "That means Henkel has to be within a seventeen mile radius of the crime scene."

"Garcia, can we see it on a map?" Dad asked her and she did what he asked and pulled it up on the computer.

"Call Farrady." Gideon said. "I want that area locked down like it's martial law." JJ got up to go call him.

"Guys."

"You came back to life." Tobias said as Raphael.

"Raphael." Spencer said.

"There can only be one of two reasons." He declared.

"I was given CPR." Always with the science.

"There are no accidents. How many members are on your team?" Tobias, as Raphael, asked.

"Excluding me, seven."

"The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail and they were thrown down to earth."

"He thinks it's Revelation. The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death." Dad said, understanding the unsub.

"Tell me who you serve." Tobias, as Raphael, demanded. Pulling Spencer up to sitting.

"I serve you." Spencer croaked.

"Then choose one to die." My eyes widened in fear.

"What?" Spencer asked, confused, trying to stall and come up for time.

"Your team members - choose one to die." He repeated himself.

"Kill me." Spencer pleaded. What?

"You said you weren't one of them." He reminded Spencer.

"I lied."

"Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies!"

"No!" I grabbed Dad's arm in a panic when he pulled a gun on Spencer. Dear God, please save him. Please save him. Please. Please Please.

He rolled the chamber of the gun. "Choose, and prove you'll do God's will."

"No." He clicked the gun. Dad used his free hand to cover his mouth.

"Choose." Tobias, as Raphael, demanded.

"I won't do it." Spencer told him, looking him square in the face. He shot again, but no bullet came out.

"Life is a choice."

"No." The gun clicked again. No bullet.

"Choose."

"I... I choose Aaron Hotchner." There was a moment of relief before Spencer started talking. "He's a classic narcissist. He think's he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4. "Let him not deceive himself and trust in emptiness, vanity, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense. In emptiness, vanity, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Tobias, as Raphael, took the bullet out of the camber. "For God's will." and put it back in and spun it.

We all walked out into the main room. "I'm not a narcissist." Dad said.

I looked at Gideon and then my dad. "Come on. Look. You can't take anything from that. He's not in his right mind, Hotch."

"Dad, he's trying to live." I pointed out.

"No. Stop. Stop." Dad said. "Alright, everybody right now - what's my worst quality?" Nobody said anything. "Okay, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

"You're a bully." JJ said, referring to how he treats unsubs.

"I'm a bully," He agreed.

"You can be a drill sergeant sometimes." Morgan said.

"Right." Dad agreed.

"You don't trust women as much as men." Prentiss said.

Dad looked at me to say something but I shook my had. I wasn't going to say anything back about my dad.

"Okay, good." He relented. "I'm all of these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team, because I don't ever."

"You don't, Dad." I agreed with him. Not sure where he was going with this, I indulged him nevertheless.

"I don't. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. And he also quoted Genesis chapter 23 verse 4." He picked up one of the many Bibles around the house and handed it to me. "Read it."

"I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may burry my dead out of my sight." I read from the Bible.

"He wouldn't get it wrong unless it was on purpose." Dad scoffed, knowing that Spencer tricked Tobias/Charles/Raphael.

"He's in a cemetery." Morgan concluded.

"I don't see a cemetery." Prentiss said, looking a the map on Penelope's screen.

"Call up the first time we saw Reid." Gideon thought aloud. Penelope did what he asked. "I won't choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

"Check to see if there's any poaching in the last couple days." I demanded, pacing back and forth in the back of the room.

"Okay, uh." Penelope typed as fast as she could. "A farmer reported two sheep being slaughtered on his property."

"Where are we talking?" Morgan asked. She pulled it up on the map.

"What's that patch of green there?" JJ asked her.

I moved closer to the computer, wedging myself between Dad and Gideon.

"Marshall Parish. I think that it's an old plantation." Dad said.

"Wait." Prentiss said.

"Tobias wrote in his journals about staying clean and keeping away from the Marshall." My brain rapid fired.

"Guy's there's a cemetery on the grounds." Penelope told us.

We all rushed to the vehicles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Spread out! They have to be on foot! Let's go!"

"Spencer!" I screamed. "Spencer! Spencer!" I screamed when I heard the gun shot. I ran towards the noise, everybody else right with me.

"You alright?" Dad asked Spencer after getting him on his feet. I stared at him blankly. He was here. He was alive. He was here.

"I knew you'd understand." He told Dad, hugging him before moving on to JJ.

"I am so sorry." She told him. I put my hands on my face and tried to remain calm. He was alive. He was alive. Thank you God. Thank you for bringing him back to me. Thank you.

"It's alright. It wasn't your fault."

"Let's get you out of here." Gideon said, reaching for Spencer. Spencer pushed away from him and into my arms. I burst into tears.

"I'm okay, you saved me." He mumbled into my hair. "I'm okay."

I clutched to him, holding onto him tightly. “Please don’t leave me again.” I begged. “Please.” I bagged my hands in his shirt.

“I won’t. I’m okay.” He repeated pulling away after a few minutes.

“Okay, let’s get you to an ambulance.” Gideon said again.

“Please - can I have a minutes alone?” Spencer asked.

“I’m not leaving you again.” I clutched his hand.

“I’ll just be a minute.” He squeezed. “Okay? Just a minute.”

Gideon pulled me away from Spencer, giving him a minute.

When Spencer caught back up to us, I held his hand again.

“Please don’t leave me.” I begged as we got to the ambulance.

“I won’t, I won’t leave you.” He promised me sitting in the back of the bus. I leaned my head on his shoulder, sighing at the nightmare this case was.

Part 2 coming soon!