#i have two other outfits for this that go from mechanic like to classic race queen pencil skirt

[honeydots]

better turn off cruise control! 🏁

[thecousinsdangereux]

the land of race car ya yas

A short little ficlet for @corvophobia who has drawn a bunch of art for the bees racer au of my dreams. This is ALL based on her drawings, so make sure you check out her stuff. Happy birthday, Amber! You are one of my two favorite British children. <3

(Please note that I know nothing about street racing. I've only watched the Fast and the Furious movies. Forgive me....)

--

“How’d you do that?”

Blake’s used to the question or some version of it, and maybe that’s why she takes in the words before she notices the tone, imagines a scowl (a lowered brow, hands curled into fists, the flash of teeth as the scowl turns into a snarl) with the same instinct that has her shoulders tensing. It’s only mid-turn that she realizes the question is laced with wonder rather than anger, but even this awareness doesn’t prepare her for the sight that meets her. It’s a woman, her smile wide and unrestrained by pesky things like self-consciousness or insecurity, and her eyes are nearly glowing in the low light, purple and bright and full of open admiration. Her black leather jacket, classic in cut, has the sleeves rolled up mid-forearm, revealing a prosthetic of black and yellow, and her grey jeans are tight, showing off a body that Blake has to work to avoid following the curves of. Her hair is long, blonde, curling around her shoulders and down her back, artful in its disorder, down to the single, stubborn cowlick at the top of her head.

In short, she’s beautiful, and Blake stares for longer than she should, feeling heat in her veins.

“Do what?”

She manages a response, but it’s absent minded. She’s just noticed the light dusting of pink on the woman’s cheeks, coloring the spaces in between her freckles, and it has her re-evaluating, pulling her thoughts to the effort she’s put into her own outfit that evening: a cropped and sleeveless hoodie with blocked colors of white and purple, tight leather shorts, and clunky boots that hit just under the knee. Blake looks good and this woman knows it, which makes them even on this particular front, and that's a settling sort of feeling.

“Win,” the woman says simply, her smile growing. “And don’t just say NOS.”

“NOS,” Blake drawls, just because she can, and she’s rewarded by the woman’s laugh, rewarded even more when she steps closer.

“No, but what’s your delivery method? Direct port, obviously, but you had to have used a custom kit, right? I’ve been telling you, Yang, I need to recalibrate yours. Can I look at your car? Would you mind if I just took a tiny peak just to see what you’ve done with your injection site? We really need to upgrade, Yang. A nozzle with less back pressure will give you a better squeeze. I’ve been telling you!”

She hadn’t noticed the other woman, but blinks at her now, a red blur waving her arms about, hoping from one foot to the other, firing out words faster than Blake — an aficionado of all things fast — can keep up with. The woman (Yang?) seems to find the act familiar and reacts with affection tinged with a false exasperation (put upon for Blake’s benefit or maybe as a means of gentle chiding), sighing and placing a hand on the smaller girl’s shoulder.

“And I’ve been telling you, you can’t just ask people to look at their shit!” She turns to Blake now, and this time her eye roll is definitely for Blake. “Sorry about that, I swear we’re not trying to steal any of your trade secrets. Ruby just… really likes cars.”

“It’s so pretty too,” Ruby coos, batting away Yang’s hand and taking a step towards the vehicle Blake had used to push past Yang at the last moment, a fact neither of these women seem to hold against her. “The purple stripes. But I bet the engine is prettier.”

It’s unprecedented, really. Blake’s been on the scene for a while — longer than she would admit to anyone here — first as a tagalong and now as a driver, but she’s never had an encounter quite like this. The unexpectedness of it all has her feeling off-balance, has her reacting without any of her customary cool anger as Ruby stares at her hood (as though if she focuses hard enough, she’ll be able to see through the metal to the parts underneath). Maybe that’s why Blake responds in a way that’s decidedly unwise, without any further thought at all.

“You can take a look. I don’t mind.”

“Really?” Ruby squeals, but doesn’t wait for Blake to confirm, darting around her and flipping open the hood in the span of three seconds.

“Really?” Yang asks, and the word sounds wildly different coming from her, sliding out from behind her crooked lips like thanks or maybe a challenge (or maybe both). “Not worried about my mechanic figuring you out before the next race?”

Blake should be, of course. But.

“Can’t say I am.”

“Maybe not the smartest move.” Yang crosses her arms; the chrome of her right glints under one of the flickering street lights. For the first time, she looks away from Blake’s gaze, eyes darting over to check on Ruby (who’s leaning so far into the front of Blake’s car that her feet nearly lift off the ground) and then to another group of drivers, a good distance behind them, but clearly watching in curiosity. It’s never wise to gather after a race, but everyone always does when it goes well, and for the first time, Blake’s glad for it. “She’s pretty vicious about giving me an edge. I wish I could say it was familial loyalty, but really, she just wants to make the fastest car in the city.” Yang pauses, tilting her head in thought. “Or country. Or world. Not sure when she’ll be satisfied, to be honest.”

“Sisters?” Blake asks. She can’t really see the resemblance, but then again, she hasn’t spent as much time looking at the younger of the pair, even though she should probably be less focused on the elder (the one not pouring over her engine. Sun and Ilia were going to kill her).

“Yeah.” Yang probably doesn’t realize how much her smile grows in the confirmation, saturated with pride and love. “Scary brilliant too. Give her five minutes with a car and she’ll take it apart, put it back together, and it’ll run better than it ever has. But all that means she always thinks it’s the car that puts a driver ahead.”

Blake arches a brow. “And you think she’s… wrong?”

“Well, yeah.” Yang’s closer than Blake remembers her being, maybe because her legs are long, her strides somehow longer, and it only takes a step before she’s close enough for Blake to feel the heat radiating off her body. “I know it’s only the driver that puts a driver ahead. That’s why I’m here talking to you instead of looking at your car.” Her lips twitch and she amends her statement quickly. “Part of the reason, at least.”

The other part of her reasoning is made pretty obvious when Yang’s eyes trace up Blake’s form once more. It should probably bother Blake, but it doesn’t, maybe because she’s done the same to Yang during this conversation (more than once). Still, there are things better avoided, and Blake knows this better than anyone. She does her best to get back on track.

“It wasn’t me,” she says (almost blurts), and then feels her neck warm when Yang looks at her quizzically. “Before, you asked how I won. But it wasn’t me, not really. You could have had it if you hadn’t fired your nitrous early. You were impatient.”

It’s too blunt, Blake knows this as soon as the words leave her lips. She’s backtracked too much, retreated into aloofness as she was wont to do, but Yang only laughs, and the sound cracks through Blake’s go-to defense, a corner of her lips curling before she can stop it.

“You’re right. I used to be way worse, back when I started out, but I’m a lot better now. Usually.”

“So what happened today?” It’s the question Yang wants her to ask, of this Blake is sure, but it hardly feels like a chore.

“Ah, bad luck, I guess. I took one look at the driver next to me and all that impatience came rushing back. All I wanted to do was finish the race and meet her properly.” She winks. Combined with the cheesy line, it shouldn’t work as well as it does (but it does). “I’m Yang.”

“Blake.”

They don’t shake hands, and Blake’s glad for it. There’s something buzzing between them, a tingling sensation at the tips of her fingers, the build up right before a lightning strike, and Blake’s not entirely sure what the contact — however brief and friendly — might do to her.

“Next time, maybe I’ll be a little more prepared.” Yang’s eyes roam across her face, settling once more on gold. “But probably not.”

“Immersion therapy,” Blake quips. “Give it time.”

Yang whistles sharply, and it takes Blake a moment to realize that she’s called her sister back over. (Blake had forgotten about her entirely, though the grease on her hands and face leads her to believe that Ruby had done a thorough dive under her hood, the sort Blake ought to be worried about.)

“Time is exactly what I plan on giving it. A lot of time, if you’ll let me.” Yang nudges her sister back in the direction they’d come from. Ruby waves, offers a wide grin of thanks, but Blake’s stuck on purple.

“Well. Let’s see how you do in the next race,” she murmurs.

“Looking forward to it.”

And Blake, who started racing to get away, who started racing to run, who started racing so she never had to stay in one place for long, finds that she is too.

—

“What the hell is your problem?”

Blake’s used to this question too, or some form of it, and this time, the tone is exactly what she expects. The small, white-haired woman in a vest and tie, however, is not.

“Listen, I’m sorry I hurt your boyfriend’s feelings by being a better driver than him, but you’re only embarrassing yourself now.” Blake takes another look at the woman’s attire; her sleeves are rolled up to her elbows and — despite the country club hairstyle and the heels — the hint of a tattoo on her pale skin, just under the fabric makes up Blake’s mind for her. “Or… Girlfriend?”

“Not quite,” says a familiar voice.

Today, Yang has decided to show off her abs (and she most certainly does have abs) with a cropped jacket of black and gold checks, and Blake can’t quite bring herself to look beyond that for too long, though she catches the black driving gloves, the oversized and gold sunglasses, the oversized cargo pants. In the seconds it takes for Blake to wind her brain back up, Yang grins, cocksure, and continues.

“Though you were right about the gay thing. I mean, look at her.”

“Look at you,” the other woman sniffs, actually physically turning up her nose. “Could you be any gayer?”

“Yeah, I could be wearing a vest and tie,” Yang fires back, but it’s clear the banter is familiar, it’s obvious these two know each other well enough for their back and forth to not contain any real barbs.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Blake drawls, before she’s able to stop herself, and Yang turns back to her with an arched brow. “Good to see you again, Yang.”

“Oh, is it? Could have fooled me!” The other woman’s ire has been refocused, and it’s seemingly stronger than before, the pitch of her words higher, more dire. “Given you nearly killed her just now.”

“Weiss,” Yang sighs, but Blake winces, feeling the sting of the words despite Yang’s quick glance of reassurance sent her way.

“I didn’t realize you’d pull off when I drifted. I thought you’d… lean in.”

It’s not an excuse. They’d been neck and neck towards the end of the race (again), and when she’d nudged the side of Yang’s car — far gentler than she would against anyone else — she’d assumed the woman would give as good as she got, like most every other racer she’d gone against. But Yang hadn’t taken any chances, and it’d cost her the race.

“We don’t do that here,” the woman — Weiss — says, lips pursed to the point of contortion, but Yang only laughs.

“We do that here all the time. I did way worse to Mercury last week.”

“Yes, but Mercury is a creep.” Weiss pauses, considering. “We only do that to creeps here.”

Blake’s hands lift, a show of peace. “Hey, no one handed me the Beacon Street Racing Etiquette Guide when I joined up the other week. Maybe you could loan me your copy.”

This doesn’t exactly smooth things over with the woman, especially not when Yang snickers, but Weiss can clearly see the writing on the wall, and tosses her hair over her shoulder with a huff.

“Whatever. I’m telling Ruby about this,” she warns Yang (or maybe Blake, or maybe both of them), before stalking away, her last words called over her shoulder. “She’s not going to be happy.”

There’s no concern on Yang’s face as she watches her go, if anything she looks amused. “Sorry about that. She’s… protective.”

“I can see that. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been friends with someone for a while.” It’s a guess (and a probe), but Yang doesn’t correct any of her phrasing, so it must be close enough to the truth.

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean protective of me.” Yang’s grin shows a flash of white teeth. “Weiss bet on me tonight. You lost her money. And that’s the real sin.”

Blake’s surprised at how easily her laugh comes (more surprised how easily the fondness slips through the cracks in her chest). “Oh, I see. So I can kick your ass up and down the streets as long as I convince her to bet on me in the future? Good to know.”

“I’m not sure that’s the message I want you to be taking from this,” Yang drawls, but still smiles, flicking her glasses up to her forehead. “Besides, like she said, Ruby’s the one to look out for. She seemed all sweet and innocent yesterday, but gods help the person she turns her disapproving stare on. I’ve seen people break into tears on the spot.”

From what Blake had seen yesterday, Ruby isn’t the sort that loses her chipper bounce very easily, so despite Yang’s teasing tone, she files the information away as useful. If she were being a little more self-searching, she might question the action, given her tendency to not stick around in any one place for long. (Surely Beacon isn’t any different. Surely she couldn’t know now if it were.)

“Lucky she missed the race today, then.” Her lips curve, a sharp corner that would require a drift. “What, she couldn’t bear to see you lose again?”

“Oh, ha ha. No, she had class. And she knows there’s no skipping for racing; that’s the only hard and fast rule for our household.” It’s not what she expects, the straight answer backed with genuinity, but it strikes Blake as endearing, somehow, especially when Yang continues. “I started racing here so we could pay for those classes, so I think it’s only fair.”

“That’s — ” Kind. Authentic. Surprising. Blake’s not sure which word to use so she disgards them all. “I wouldn’t have pegged you as the type who was racing for the money. Not that… there’s anything wrong with that. Especially in your case.”

Yang laughs. “Hey, don’t mistake me. I started racing here for the money, but it’s not why I race in general.”

“So why do you?” Blake asks, even though she suspects she knows the answer. (It’s not wise to take your eyes off the road, but she’s done it in both of her races with Yang, eyes darting to the side to find the woman speeding alongside her: eyes wild, grin wide, the fervor of the moment all over her face. There’s freedom there, more than there is anywhere else, and Blake thinks she sees that in Yang as much as she does in herself.)

“Same as you, I think,” Yang murmurs, closer now, sliding in when Blake’s distracted once again.

“I’m not sure you know me well enough to say that.”

A bluff, of course, but it gets the intended result.

“Not yet.” From this close, Yang looks taller, and Blake has to tilt her chin to look into her eyes. “But I’m still looking to fix that.”

Blake wets her lips. It’s too much, and she’s not sure she can tack on ‘too soon’ to quantify the thought, make it less tame. If she had to guess, Yang will always be too much, like sunlight after coming out of a room. Blake’s not sure she’ll ever adjust to the rays, or if she wants to.

“Let’s see how you do in the next race,” she says again, and Yang laughs again, totally unabashed.

“Okay, I’m sensing a trend here. What, you’re not going to let me take you out unless I win a race again you?”

“If I say ‘yes’, what are you going to do?”

It’s not cockiness that overtakes Yang’s face then, not exactly. It’s confidence or want or determination or maybe just the flush that comes from the thrill of a challenge. Blake’s setting herself up for something here, she knows, failure or disappointment or something like it, but right then, she doesn’t care. There’s a freedom in this sort of race too, and that she’s come to love.

“Oh, that’s easy, Blake.” Yang leans in a little more, and Blake knows it’s audible, the way her breath is cut short. “I’m going to win.”

[bybdolan]

HOLY GROUND - A Taylor Swift jukebox musical

“Holy Ground is a jukebox musical featuring the songs of American Singer-Songwriter Taylor Swift. The film’s plot is based on the 1953 classic Roman Holiday, starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck, in which a runaway princess falls in love with a journalist over the course of a day spend in Rome.”

OR: A rather rough idea for a Taylor musical, inspired by the anon who asked me if I had more ideas regarding the edit the quote above was written for.

PLAYLIST

The movie starts with the title screen and credits (old-fashioned style), with an orchestral version of State Of Grace. Then, we are introduced to the princess, Mary, our protagonist. She's at a ball, surrounded by many people and the press, she's stressed and she feels lonely (mirrorball). The song is accompanied by a ballroom dance that is sort of mechanical and unnatural and the princess is tossed around by her partners. During the bridge, it almost seems as if they are pushing her around the way playground bullies do and she is lost and alone in the sea of twirling ballgowns.

There's a bit of dialogue where we get some information about Princess Mary (she's on a tour of the European capitals to strengthen the bond between the countries) and when she boards the plane to Rome, she starts to sing Love Story, daydreaming about real love. During the song, we are introduced to the journalist, Stephen, (Dev Patel), who is walking around Rome trying to write a story that is good enought to keep his employer from firing him. (He's struggling.)

We fast forward through a few meetings and press conferences until it's nighttime and Mary has a breakdown in her room because she is overwhelmed by her duties. She is given pills that are supposed to make her fall asleep within the next few hours. Finally alone, she takes a look out the window and sees a party going on in the streets. Intrigued by the laughter and the light and overcome by the wish to finally do something just for herself, she decides to sneak out of the hotel. She manages to get past the guards in a garbage truck.

Outside, she joins the parade (New Romantics). However, the pills start to kick in and Mary, all drowsy and unequipped to deal with the real world, decides to lie down on a bench to sleep. She is discovered by Stephen, who is worried that something will happen to her and takes her home with him. He doesn't recognize her. Due to her delirious state, Mary is a hassle to deal with and some antics ensue (for example: she demands that Stephen helps her undress and doesn't accept that she has to sleep on the couch). They both eventually fall asleep (Stephen takes the couch).

The next morning, Stephen accidentally sleeps in and misses his scheduled interview with Princess Mary. In order to not get fired, he pretends that he actually went to the interview in front of his boss. But he has bad luck: The princess' publicist has send out emails and articles that claim the princess had fallen ill and therefore had to cancel all interviews as a cover up for her disappearance. When his boss angrily shows him a picture of the article announcing the princess' illness, Stephen realizes that the she is the girl sleeping in his bed. He begs his boss not to fire him and tells him that he has an idea for a hit story about the princess. His boss reluctantly agrees to keep him employed, but tells him that he'll be out of a job if he doesn't deliver.

Stephen races back to his apartment where Mary is still sleeping. On the way there, he calls his friend, a photographer, and tells her about his plan to show Mary around Rome and asking her personal questions while his friend – Corinna – takes pictures for the article.

When Mary eventually wakes up and gets over the shock of being in a stranger's home, she asks Stephen if she could take a shower and maybe borrow some clothes, claiming that she needs them because her dress got dirty the night before. She keeps her true identity a secret, saying that her name is Marjorie. When Stephen tells her to choose an outfit, she picks baggy clothing and a baseball hat to hide her hair, in the hope that she won't be recognized. Stephen offers her a tour of the city, with assistance by Corinna, who he claims is the best tour guide he knows. Mary, having never been out and about alone and feeling unsafe without her entourage of bodyguards, agrees. They go to small café and make up little stories for the other customers there while waiting for Corinna to arrive, which is something Mary likes to do at political gatherings in order to combat boredom and loneliness (Begin Again). However, their plan to stroll around Rome and look at all the tourist hotspots gets foiled when Mary recognizes a guy in the streets as one of her guards who is looking for her. She grabs Stephen and steals a motorbike that's parked nearby and they drive away – since Mary doesn't know how to drive a motorbike it's a near death experience for both of them (I Know Places - Instrumental). They end up in a less crowded part of town and hide in a crowd of wedding guests. They stay a bit in order to listen to the band play and dance (Paper Rings – ideally with a celebrity cameo for the wedding band). Mary blames her bike freakout on her fear of big crowds, so Stephen offers her to show her his personal favorite spots of the city instead of the tourist attractions. They reunite with Corinna and spend some time in the small streets surrounding the city center. Mary finds herself developing a crush on Stephen (Hey Stephen/Fearless).

The day progresses without any major troubles, until they accidentally run into the guards once again. Mary and Stephen flee from them and hide in a small alleyway between two houses. Mary takes advantage of the fact that they are tightly pressed against one another and kisses Stephen. He reciprocicates. After the kiss, Mary tells him that she is the lost princess and Stephen confesses his plan to write an article about her. He promises to not do that now, but doesn't mention that that decision will cost him his job. They both agree that it is best to get Mary back to her hotel soon in order to keep her safe (Wildest Dreams). However, Mary asks for one more thing: She wants to make a wish at Trevi fountain. Stephen takes her to the fountain and Mary tosses a coin into it. They both think about the time they spent together (The 1 - BIG crowd dance scene that ends with people jumping into the fountain). Afterwards, Stephen takes Mary back to her hotel and watches as she goes inside, back into her gold cage (acapella reprise of the chorus of The 1).

The press conference that was cancelled due to Mary's "illness" is held the next morning and both Stephen and Corinna attend and stand in the first row. When being asked about which city in Europe she liked the most, Mary answers Rome and says that's she'll never forget her stay, all while looking at Stephen. She insists on personally greeting some of the members of the press. When she gets to Corinna and Stephen, Corinna hands her an envelope with the photos she secretly took of her tour of the city, and Stephen and Mary share a final dance in a dream sequence that mirrors the mirrorball scene from the beginning, with the exception that the room is empty except for them (Dorothea). When Mary leaves the press conference room, Stephen stays there for a long time, until everybody else has left (Wildest Dreams - Piano).

Holy Ground plays during the credits.

[jasontoddiefor]

Title: Tuning up your TIE-Fighter to prove you’re better than the bastard currently running the TIE-Fighter Program for fun and profit

Summary: As a rule, Vader did not really do anything with his social media account, but then the rant of some kid from Tatooine about the inefficiency of TIE Fighters began trending, the pilots and engineers on the Devastator started fixing their ships and Vader got invested.

AN: This fanfic is almost 7.000 words long do yourself a favor and go read it on AO3.

X

“Why are all the engineers tearing through the ships?” Vader asked the officer in charge.

Truthfully, they hadn’t been sent on a campaign lately, but the Emperor liked to whimsically assign Vader and his ship to pointless random battles, so they always had to be prepared to head into combat and couldn’t afford all their Fighters to be in repair. Frankly speaking, most of the TIEs never saw any repairs. They were just scrapped and demolished. He supposed he should be glad his mechanics had enough sense not to start working on all ships simultaneously.

“They are fixing the life support and shielding of the TIEs, my Lord.”

The what.

“The TIE-Fighters don’t have deflector shielding,” Vader stated.

The Head Engineer nodded nervously and stood up straight. Vader hadn’t picked them for nothing. Their predecessor had been a weak sucker-up who had seen it fit to either doesn’t inform Vader about crucial decisions and changes or had bothered him about every little detail. This new one knew how to do their job or at least it had seemed like it up until now.

“We are aware, my Lord. But there was this video explaining how to easily make some changes to the TIEs and I saw it fit to ensure we reduce our damages,” they replied.

“What video?”

The Head Engineer fetched a datapad from the nearest table and searched through a couple files until they opened one, revealing a video. It appeared to have been posted on the holonet one and a half weeks ago and already had an impress number of views and comments. The entire video was several hours long, and had gained a few Reaction Videos as well.

The thumbnail showed a blonde boy, roughly fifteen if Vader were to guess, wearing a half undone overall and a tank top, standing next to a slightly older boy and an assassination droid, a severely damaged TIE-Fighter lying in the sands behind them.

Vader hit play.

The video started, showing the blond boy of before sitting in a makeshift workshop, a pair of goggles lying around his neck.

“Welcome to another episode of Scrap Hunting,” the teenager in the video said. He took a sip of water from the metallic canteen he was holding, drinking slow and carefully the way only a desert dweller did. “A couple weeks ago some sleemo commented that I’d never be able to improve any Imperial ships since I’m just Outer Rim trash.”

The boy took another sip, then set his canteen aside to reach for some parts that looked like they belonged to a half-finished droid.

“And I suppose you did have a point that the things I fix won’t ever reach the level of an Imperial TIE because I wouldn’t build such trash in the first place.”

The teenager’s face was fairly blank, but laughter could be heard coming from whoever was behind the camera, likely the other boy.

“So, to prove that I can do better, I sold a lot of speeders, ships and droids, repaired more terrible freighters than I can count, won several totally legal races and placed a couple of very fortunate bets in the palace of Jabba.”

The boy paused, then he smiled widely and, together with his cameraman, yelled “Boonta Eve Classic Champions!”

When he was done laughing, the boy continued talking. “Anyway, the point is, I made a lot of money to buy a lot of trash.”

The screen turned black and when it returned, it showed the image depicted in the thumbnail. The blond boy climbed on top of the TIE and smiled victoriously.

“So in today’s episode, I’m not only going to prove all you disbelievers wrong, I’m also going to drag the entire Tie-Fighter Program through the sarlacc pit. I’m Luke, the man recording is Biggs, my helper over there is HK-77 and this is Scrap Hunting.”

The first few notes of a song start playing and the channel’s logo, two suns overlaid by a speeder, showed up. The Head Engineer proceeded to stop the video, the screen frozen on the image of the boy grinning mischievously.

“He proceeds to begin to completely overhaul the damaged TIE he bought with alarmingly low cost and high efficiency within a few hours and, frankly speaking, embarrasses me. Some of the things Luke does never occurred to me and it should have, I went to one of Coruscant’s best universities-“

They sighed and put the datapad down. “Either way, we are now making changes to our TIEs. I apologize for not having informed you before, my Lord, but I assumed you’d approve of our Fighters being the most advanced on the field.”

The Head Engineer didn’t look like they regretted their decision, but they had obviously resigned themselves to whatever Vader decided their fate would be. They were loyal to Vader and his command. Vader needed people like them on his crew, not more of the Emperor’s spies.

“You presumed correctly,” Vader said. “Finish outfitting the TIEs you already began taking apart. I will watch the video of this Luke and see what exactly he has to say about the military.”

The Head Engineer saluted. “Yes, Sir! I won’t disappoint you!” Then they turned around and marched over to where the others had stopped working to watch their exchange and told them to get back to work.

Vader, meanwhile, took the datapad and returned to his own rooms. He had a video to watch.

X

Luke had not planned on becoming famous with a video titled Tuning up your TIE-Fighter to prove you’re better than the bastard currently running the TIE-Fighter Program for fun and profit. In fact, he had never expected any of his videos to gain the kind of following and attention they had even before that particular one. In all honesty, it had just started with him making a recording of how he fixed vaporators without taking them apart completely so his friend Biggs could do it as well. He’d just posted that on the net and kept going. First about droids, some more rambles about ships and a while back he’d finally been allowed to go to the shipyards on his own to earn some extra cash.

But then he had found HK-77 in a dumping ground. The droid had been severely damaged, but not so much that Luke couldn’t fix it. Assassin droids were intelligent, much more than any other ones and Luke could honestly use some extra hands around the farm and when he was repairing speeders. Biggs had recorded bits of Luke working on the droid, cut it together and uploaded it and people had loved it. His videos got more clicks, he got more subscriptions and here he was now.

Usually, Luke didn’t let comments get to him, but one obviously core-world spoiled bastard had discredited Luke’s skills without having any idea how terrible the Empire’s priced Fighters actually were.

“C’mon,” Biggs said, throwing an arm around Luke’s shoulders. “One last project before I leave for the Academy.”

Luke had also been trying his best to avoid thinking about how much he was going to miss his best friend. He wanted to leave with him – though not to be a common TIE-Fighter pilot, Luke wasn’t suicidal – but he couldn’t leave his family behind when they needed him.

“Alright,” Luke agreed, blushing. “Where are we going to get a TIE, though?”

Turned out that a TIE had crashed a while back and a junk dealer had picked it up. Unfortunately, despite its terrible damages, it was really expensive and Luke didn’t have that kind of money. It took a lot of work to scrap it all together – and he had been grounded for a month after winning the Boonta Eve Classic, but being the second human to ever win after Anakin Skywalker, his own father, had been worth it – but in the end Biggs and Luke had poured their funds together and bought the TIE.

And then the fun had started.

X

Vader sat down at his desk and pulled up the video again. He skipped to the moment the Head Engineer had stopped the video and hit play.

“Okay, first things first,” Luke said. “TIE’s were not made to be repaired. How do I know?”

Luke crawled into the pilot’s seat and opened the panels beneath it. “Because this is where the Empire would store the hyperdrive navigational systems, theft prevention protocols and life support, if the TIEs had any!”

He disappeared beneath the panels and began taking out the machinery, handing it to the HK-77 droid. Tatooine’s junkyards had always been a treasure chest, but finding C-3PO there had been astonishing. An assassination droid was worth much more than a mere protocol droid. Vader would have to check if the boy talked about how he’d acquired it somewhere.

“What kind of moron designs a ship that doesn’t have that?” Luke spoke up, his voice echoing. “I know who. They’re called Sienar Fleet Systems and go back to the Clone Wars.”

Luke stood up, and placatingly held up his hands. “I know, the Empire also made some pretty cool ships. I won’t lie, I’d kill to get my hands on the schematics on the Devastator, but the security of Kuat Drive Yards is too good.”

Luke paused.

“Not that I’d ever attempt to get a better look on them.”

The video zoomed in on Luke’s face and his frankly speaking terrible poker face in what was supposed be a comedic shot. Not many people would have the guts to admit they’d attempted to slice into KDY’s security and Vader doubted it was idiocy on the boy’s part. The youth was interesting and it became apparent rather quickly that he knew what he was talking about. He would certainly make a good asset to Vader’s crew, should he sign up.

“Point is,” Luke continued. “They cut all these extra measures out to lose weight and mass produce these TIEs with the lowest costs possible. However, even out here on Tatooine we’ve got ships with really small and efficient support systems, so I’ll dig through this mess down here and make some space for life support first.”

Luke then pointed on the rather large box standing next to him. “All I need for that is in this box. I uploaded the schematics to my usual server. It’s free to download, but I’d be very thankful if you could leave me a tip because I am broke until I’ve gotten this project done.”

Vader only skimmed through the next hours as Luke was working on taking the TIE’s insides apart. He explained what he was doing more or less coherently. It was clear he was lacking some of the terminological knowledge needed to describe the precise measures he took, but he was a rather efficient worker.

“Not sure yet if I can get my hands on a hyperdrive that won’t blow up on me, but we’ll see,” Luke said during the last minute of the video. “Theft prevention, however, I can work with.”

The video cut again and by now only the last beams of sunlight were illuminating the sands.

“Check this,” Luke said and pulled back his arm, a hydrospanner in hand, and threw it at full strength at the outer shell of the TIE. Upon impact, the TIE began blaring alarms.

“Nailed it,” Luke declared confidently while the HK-77 next to him gave him a thumbs up and presumably his friend behind the camera, held his thumb up in front of the recording as well.

“And this concludes part one of-“ Luke began to speak, only to be interrupted by a man’s shout.

“LUKE SKY-“

“Oh, shit,” Luke muttered, eyes wide. “Stop recording, Biggs, stop-“

The video ended and a couple of suggestions popped up, all with equally unserious titles such as ‘Killing it with a Murderbot’, ‘Repairing a hyperdrive but your arm is broken and All Stars is playing�� and ‘Garbage Summary of Republic/Imperial Ships’. The most recent upload was titled ‘Status Update: Scrap Hunters vs. Guardians.’

Vader decided to play it.

X

The channel’s introduction started to play against and soon after there was a recording of the black-haired boy playing.

“Hello, fellow Hunters,” the young man said, smiling widely. “I’m Biggs and unfortunately, I have to do today’s video by myself.”

He closed his eyes and in fake serenity added, “I hope you’ll enjoy it despite the lack of our overly bright mechanic and resident murderbot. Don’t worry, I know you’re all not actually watching this for me.”

Biggs sat still as writing appeared in the upper corner. I’m also just here for Luke. Hit me up at @darkestlight if you feel like it.

“Anyway,” Biggs continued and the writing disappeared. “This short video is just an update on our current situation. First of all, we’re super happy to see that so many people enjoyed our newest video. The next parts will be uploaded as soon as we can get our hands on the items we need, which might take a while given that Luke has been grounded from working on the TIE for the foreseeable future. If you have any questions for him though, feel free to drop him a message @skyseekerpilot, he’s still got access to the holonet.”

From out of the camera’s reach, he pulled a piece of flimsi, showing off the account’s name and a small doodle of what Vader assumed was meant to be Luke.

“Written by yours truly,” Biggs said and set the flimsi aside. “We’re thinking of doing a Q&A in the near future to bridge the time between the actual next update. Feel free to send us any kind of question! That being said, don’t miss us too much!”

The video stopped and Vader almost found himself being disappointed. The youth had certainly talked a lot about unimportant things, it was clear that he was a mere aid to Luke. Perhaps contacting the boy about his ideas would be worth it.

X

Luke was bored out of his mind. Honestly, he hated being grounded. Nothing new to tinker with, only work and endless hours of chores and browsing the holonet. He supposed he could work a little more on his schematics, but he didn’t really feel like it. Sitting down and actually sketching what he was thinking was always the most difficult part of the process. Most of the time, Luke just knew and could figure out what he had to fix. He worked by instinct alone, but that didn’t really help others so he had to write things down properly.

Annoyed, Luke flopped down on his bed again. He hoped that Biggs at least would be allowed to come over again soon. It was just so boring without anyone around.

“I could get rid of the problem,” HK-77 offered from where it was sitting in the corner.

“No, thank you, Hagekay,” Luke replied. “I guess I’ll just check the ‘net again.”

He took out his datapad and began skimming his usual sites. He watched the video Biggs had uploaded and looked a little though all the comments they’d already gotten. Their channel had really blown up in the past days and a lot of people seemed quite eager about the possibility of a Q&A, already shooting off questions. Luke switched over to his page and saw a steady amount of questions and comments come in. A lot of them were rather personal, but one caught his attention.

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick asked:

You pay a great deal of attention to enhancing the pilot’s safety and protection in the events of a crash, but how do you intend to make up for the lesser maneuverability? The added weight will lower the TIE’s speed to 1,112 KPH and in actual combat, the added speed is necessary. If one considers the lack of deflector shields, the TIE becomes much more vulnerable, to a degree that even your additions will not work. I’d like to hear your suggestions as to how you would solve that problem.

Reading the message, Luke began to smile widely. Fighterfan had obviously sat down to do the proper math. Luke, admittedly, had only done some rough calculations but his result had been almost the same and he’d immediately began searching or results.

Easy, he wrote back, grinning like a madman. I add deflector shields and modify a hyperdrive of the Interio Class. ;)

Luke knew that his holonet connection wasn’t exactly the best. There was a reason Biggs was the one who uploaded their content. Sometimes, especially before, during and after sandstorms, Luke could forget doing anything with his datapad. So when he got a reply barely thirty minutes later, he knew that the other person must have replied immediately.

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick replied:

The Interio Class hyperdrives are slow at best and do not work at all at worst. I take it you intend to break it down so far that it cannot actually do a hyperspace jump but still accelerates much faster than any other engine?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot replied:

Exactly!!! :D Should push the speed back up to 1,200 KPH despite the added weight! I’d also suggest changing the wings to bent-wing solar arrays, but I don’t have the materials for that right now :/

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick replied:

While the flight controls were designed to be intuitive and easy to learn, very few people would be skilled enough to fly a ship with the modifications you are proposing.

Luke smirked. It would be dangerous indeed, but he’d be able to make it. He’d stretch out his senses, feel the vast expanses of space around him, the million planets and stars and he’d rush right past them.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot replied:

I could. :)

X

Vader hadn’t been sure what to expect of his conversation with Luke. The boy certainly proved that he was bright and clever. Not just intelligent, he knew exactly what his modifications would do to the TIE- Fighter. Despite his excessive need to tag emojis onto his every message and add exclamation marks, actually talking about ships to somebody who couldn’t care less about Imperial regulations was almost enjoyable. The boy’s suggestions were refreshing and unorthodox and a few of them even puzzled Vader for a moment until he was able to follow Luke’s train of thought.

Soon he found himself looking forward to the boy’s messages, even if he couldn’t bring himself to care particularly much about the daily life of a teenage moisture farmer. Unfortunately, he had to admit that he was almost a little annoyed Luke was still a child and therefore couldn’t accept a job offer. Well, Vader would simply have to wait a little longer to get his hands on his next Head Engineer. Until then, messaging him while pretending to listen to some Moffs blab away about the Death Star yet again, would have to suffice.

He had learned nothing but patience in the past years.

X

“Welcome back to Scrap Hunting!” Luke announced excitedly. “As you can see, I have returned to the land of the living!”

“He’s still grounded,” Biggs said next to him. “I’m just allowed to visit now.”

Luke rolled his eyes and lightheartedly punched his friend into his side. “Don’t make fun of me. I was incredibly lonely.”

Biggs smiled and messed up Luke’s hair in return. “Sure, whatever you say. Anyway! We collected a lot of comments in the meanwhile and decided to do the promised Q&A about ourselves. Luke, if you’d do the honors to read the first question.”

“Sure!”

Luke reached for the datapad in front of them and started it up. He spent a few moments scrolling through it, then stopped and began to read out loud. “For Biggs: In the video repairing Hagekay you said that it keeps threatening you. Does it still do that?”

“All the time,” Biggs replied seriously. He raised his hands in a what-can-you-do kind of way and then dropped them again with a sigh. “Literally. I don’t think this droid likes anyone but Luke and the mouse droid keeping the house clean.”

Biggs frowned and looked around as if he were searching for something. “Where is Emmy? It always seems so eager to clean up after me.”

Luke shrugged. “Maybe got lost in Aunt Beru’s closet again, wouldn’t be the first time. Alright, you do the next question.”

Biggs took the datapad from him and moved on to the next inquiry.

“What the kriff is your title song?” Biggs read, then groaned and buried his head in his hands. “Just let it die please.”

Luke on the other hand immediately jumped up in excitement. “Oh! It’s every fifth note of my favorite song so it doesn’t get taken down for copyright reason. I’ll put a link in the description.”

“Question #3: Where do you live?” Luke stared straight ahead into the camera. “Tatooine, Outer Rim desert world. Do not recommend unless you can survive without a lot of water.”

Beside him, Biggs nodded. “Indeed, not the best place to raise your children. Question number four: Could you upload Hagekay’s original programming?”

The two boys looked at each other and finally shook their heads while staring suspiciously at the camera again. “What could you possibly need the programming of an assassin droid for?”

“Next up: How old are you? And how long have you been working on projects like this?”

Luke frowned and turned to Biggs. “Didn’t we say that before once?”

Biggs only shrugged. “No idea, you talk a lot when you’re working.”

“You love to hear me talk,” Luke replied teasingly. “Well, I’m seventeen and Biggs is nineteen. I’ve been doing repairs on droids for as long as I can think. Speeders and ships are new additions.”

“Same for me,” Biggs said. “You can’t grow up in the middle of nowhere running a moisture farm and not be at least a half-decent mechanic. Okay, next question: What was your favorite project so far? Hmm, I think I enjoyed ‘Hagekay vs Emmy with a viroblade’ the most. You?”

Luke chewed on his lip and paused, deeply lost in thought.

“The TIE-Fighter,” he said eventually. “Even if I wasn’t so sure about it at first. That reminds me! I don’t know how many of you have seen the bits of the conversation that aren’t private, but you should seriously check out Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick. The ship modifications he speaks of are the best and a couple of them will definitely end up in the TIE, credit given, of course. When we’re done with this video, I’ll go right back to replying to your thoughts about navigation systems because I totally agree-“

“Alright, alright,” Biggs interrupted, clasping his hand over Luke’s mouth. “Nerd out with your new best friend somewhere I don’t have to see it.”

Luke huffed and, going by the way Biggs quickly pulled his hand away from his mouth and wiped it on his shirt saying “ewww”, had licked it.

“What are you? Five?” Biggs complained.

Luke laughed. “Compared to your mature six? Alright, next question-“

X

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

Have you thought about a way to solve the take-off issue yet?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Noooooo (TT^TT). It’s so stupid, why does anyone design a ship that lacks landing gear? I mean, I get it, these were built for space combat but it just seemed unnecessary that you need an extra start up. What do you do when somebody crashed on a planet? Leave them there????

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

Yes. TIEs are viewed as expendable, due to their cheap production costs, as are their pilots. The Empire prefers quantity over quality.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

That just seems incredibly short-sighted. What kind of person doesn’t go back to save their friends?

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

You are wrongly presuming that TIE-Fighter pilots have friends.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

So you don’t have any friends?

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

What?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Oh gosh I’m SO SORRY! I didn’t mean that, I just wanted to ask whether you were TIE pilot bc you seem to know the ships so well and I didn’t want to be rude

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

I’m sorry!!!

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Super sorry!

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Honestly, I didn’t mean to insult you. I apologize, I shouldn’t have said that.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Are you still there?

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

Yes. I was stuck in a briefing and couldn’t reply. You mustn’t worry. I do not have any friends, nor do I want them.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Oh, I’m glad I didn’t scare you off and I’m sorry for overreacting. But you really don’t have any friends? Doesn’t that get lonely? Biggs has been gone barely a couple weeks and I’m already going crazy. I miss him a lot.

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

You are too dependent on him, Luke. You do not need him.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

I do! He always had my back, ever since we were small. And even if you don’t want any friends, you can be sure that I will consider you mine. No expectations of course! But I really enjoy talking to you and I have learned so much since we started talking!

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

I have also found our talks to be pleasant.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Yay!!!!

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

TIE Advanced x1

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

What?

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

You wanted to ask me whether I am a TIE-Fighter pilot. I own a TIE Advanced x1

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

WHAT

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

REALLY???? THAT’S SO COOL THEY ONLY STARTED MANUFACTURING THEM LAST YEAR. How fast does it accelerate? Are the stabilizers really that improved? No wait tell me about the hyperdrive which did they go with? Does it use a Class 4.0? I would have built in a Class 7.0 but they’re more expensive and hard to really stop correctly if you’re not like a great pilot ooOOOH WAIT

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

YOU are flying a TIE/AD!!!!!

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU’RE ACTUALLY IN THE IMPERIAL NAVY. Which ship do you serve on??? Please, please, please tell me about the Destroyers I’ve been wanting to compare them to Republic ships since FOREVER but I couldn’t find any good sources pls I’ll pay in an extra special videos

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

Give me a few hours.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

YOU ARE THE BEST!

X

Vader could not fathom what was wrong with Luke. Nobody wanted to be friends with Darth Vader, certainly he had never given the boy the impression that he was interested in such a relationship? He had merely strived to see what the boy was capable of. He shouldn’t supply the boy with more in-depth plans to his ships and yet he found himself downloading the corresponding schematics. It had been a while since he had been able to carry on a conversation that was actually on his level and engaging as well. Luke was only improving and Vader wanted to keep him. Good personnel was hard to come by and Luke was something different entirely.

X

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

I have sent you the plans we talked about. Have you ever considered signing up for the Imperial Academy?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Yes, but I can’t go this year because my uncle still needs me on the farm :/

 Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

I am able to get you a contract as civilian consultant. You’d be able to work from home.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

What? Is that really a thing?

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

If you give me your personal data, I’ll send you a contract.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Thank you!! It’s Luke Lars! My ID is T-LL-2187-A23. Also, uploaded a new video for you :D Hope you enjoy my misadventures!

X

Luke was sitting on his bed, HK-77 standing beside him, holding out various tools while the mouse droid Emmy was sitting in his lap.

“Hello, everybody and welcome to another episode of Scrap Hunting! Today is a special compilation dedicated too @thatsaneattrick, who basically gave me an early birthday present. So, sit back and enjoy a compilation of the things we usually cut from our videos! I’m Luke, my helper today is HK-77 and shout out to Biggs who is currently studying a couple of planets away from me!”

The video cut away to start showing the first in a series of rather short escapades featuring at least one member of the trio.

-

The first video showed Luke working on the TIE’s wings, singing underneath his breath. “This was not designed to land, this ship was not designed to land, this ship was not designed to be functional, functional at all.”

-

The next video depicted Luke working in the background while Biggs and HK-77 were staring intensely at each other, Emmy stuck between them, driving forwards and backwards like they were trying to keep the two from fighting.

“Where did you hide my hydrospanner.”

“I did no such thing, Biggs.”

The recording blurred as Biggs threw himself on HK-77.

-

It was dark. The camera slowly focused on Emmy attempting to drive up to the TIE fighter but getting stuck because of the sand. Two giggles could be heard.

“We have to help Emmy,” Luke whispered.

“Yes, wait- oh, Em’s gonna fall over-“

The video slowed down as Emmy tragically fell to its side and couldn’t get up again.

“It’s so kriffing clumsy, like a baby,” Biggs laughed.

“It’ll get there someday.”

In white writing, the message Hasn’t Happened Yet showed up.

-

“Luke, what are you?”

Luke sighed and looked downcast. “A good mechanic?”

“Then why is the TIE’s cockpit smoking?”

“I was just taking a look at the repulsorlift antigravity field- oh, kriff it’s burning.”

“What!?”

X

Ever since Biggs had left, Luke’s conversations with Fighter became the most fun part of his days. Sometimes, replies took a little longer depending on how busy and far away Fighter was, but their talks never failed to bring a smile to Luke’s face, no matter how standoffish Fighter acted.

Luke checked his messages again, hoping to catch a new message from Fighter. Sadly, none were in his inbox, only something from a stranger.

Lord Vader @ImperialCommand: Consultant Contract

Luke frowned.

X

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

Have you thought about my job offer yet?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Job offer? You were really serious about that? O.o

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

Of course, did you not see the attachment I sent you?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

I never got a message with a job offer, so I thought you were joking!!! The only thing I got was a message by some guy pretending to be Vader. Didn’t even bother to open that, who knows what kind of virus I could have caught. -.-‘

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

Someone pretended to be Lord Vader? Surely nobody would actually be so ignorant.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Idk! I had to go on his holo page and it seemed legit but there’s no way the emperor’s slaver would ever message me I’m not that naive

…

Fighter?

Are you still there?

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

You would do well not to spread such rebel propaganda anywhere others could find them.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Rebel propaganda???

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Do you mean the ‘slaver’ thing?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

That’s not propaganda, that’s what Vader is. I know your serve in the Navy, and probably met him once or so. I can’t judge what kind of superior he might be, but his behavior is that of a slaver.

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

What do you know of slavery, child?

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

I live on Tatooine, remember? Hutts control everything. And my father was a slave, that’s why I have to go by my uncle’s last name, least of all somebody thinks I’m a runaway just cause my father’s name was ‘Skywalker’.

Fighterfan @thatsaneatrick

What was your father’s name.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

His name was Anakin Skywalker, he died towards the end of the last war. Freed himself as a child and became a navigator on a spice freighter. I don’t know much more about him, my aunt and uncle only met him once for my grandmother’s funeral and that’s it. I’m sure he was a good man, though. I just know it.

X

The boy, Luke, was living Tatooine with his aunt and uncle. Vader had known his last name was Lars, had even seen him mention Owen and Beru multiple times, but he hadn’t made the connection-

Quickly, he pulled up the files he had made on the boy. It said in his documents that he had been adopted by Owen Lars and Beru Whitesun Lars, no mentioning of his biological parents anyway. Vader hadn’t paid any attention to it because it happened often enough on Tatooine. Newborns were smuggled bought out of the slave quarters so they’d get a better life. The boy could be lying, of course, but what would he seek to gain from this ploy?

Anakin Skywalker was dead and everything he had held dear had burned with him, his Master had seen to it.

But hadn’t the boy’s smile reminded him of his dear wife? His excitement for ships, his brilliance- Vader had assumed that some of his stories might have been exaggerated, but maybe he had performed all those death-defying stunts indeed and it was the Force which had saved him.

Luke Skywalker of Tatooine.

It was impossible to think that he had managed to find him through mere interest. The Force must have led him to his son.

His son.

His Master had lied to him, deceived and betrayed him.

Snarling, Vader left his rooms behind and marched towards his personal hanger. He had to go now, reach his son and protect him before the Emperor would diminish his light.  Vader would make them pay, all of them, every single person involved in keeping his child from him would be destroyed.

X

The past weeks had not been particularly interesting or happy for Luke. Ever since his discussion with Fighter, the other man had completely cut their communication. No matter how many messages Luke sent him, he didn’t reply.

He supposed he should have seen it coming. Fighter didn’t say much about his background, but if he was skilled enough to be trusted with a TIE/ad, he had likely grown up on some Imperial Core World, surrounded by the Empire and Vader’s image and didn’t see things the way some Outer Rim kid would. It was too bad that their conversation had stopped. Even if they couldn’t agree on the Empire’s policies, ships were still ships.

He’d miss talking to Fighter.

Luke dragged himself out of his room to go in the kitchen for lunch. He had halfway crossed the homestead when a man in a dark robe hurried down the steps.

“Luke!” He said and threw back his hood, revealing himself as Old Ben Kenobi.

“Oh, hi, Ben! Is everything alright?”

Ben shook his head and a pained expression crossed his face. He looked like he was in a hurry, but Luke could feel the fear lingering in the air.

“We need to go, now,” Ben said hurriedly. “Where are your aunt and uncle?”

“Aunt Beru went into the city and Uncle Owen is out working on the vaporators,” Luke replied slowly.

Ben’s behavior was confusing him. He’d known the older man since he could think. He had never said a thing, but Luke knew he was the one who had made a lot of the model ships now proudly displayed in his room and made sure the Tuskens stayed away from their homestead.

Ben was a nice and kind man, carrying a lot of grief. He was a little strange, but not mad. If he was worried about something, Luke figured he should as well.

“Then there is no time to get them,” Ben said and took Luke’s hand. “We must hurry.”

“Ben, what’s going on?” Luke asked and let himself be pulled along to the homestead’s entrance and out into the sun. “Why are we running?”

“We need to go before he’s here-“ Ben stopped abruptly and stared right ahead.

A black demon stood in some distance from the two of them. He looked like the monsters out of the stories Luke had been told as a child and now knew to be real. Lord Vader.

Ben let go of Luke’s hand and took a step forward, keeping Luke behind him.

“Kenobi.” Vader’s voice was deep, mechanic and artificial. “I have finally found you.”

“So you have, Darth,” Kenobi replied and ignited a lightsaber of a light blue color.

Vader followed suit, his blade an angry red and soon after they were clashing against one another, whirling up the sand. Luke hadn’t known Ben could fight like that, keep every move so fluent despite the ground he was standing on. He met each of Vader’s aggressive strikes with equal strength.

Luke felt like he was suffocating.

He had to stop them, he knew it. He didn’t know why or how, but if he didn’t do anything, the desert would swallow them up.

“What is going on!?” Luke shouted. The two fighters turned to him and it occurred to Luke only then that shouting mid-battle was probably not his smartest move, but what else was he supposed to do.

“You have been deceived all your life, young one,” Vader said. “Kenobi stole you from me, kept you hidden so you wouldn’t inherit your birthright.”

“My birthright,” Luke repeated. “I’m sorry, what are you even talking about.”

“Your father-“

“Was a good man,” Ben interrupted, his words as sharp as a knife. “And you ruined him.”

“You left me to burn!” Vader screamed. “You said you loved me and you left me behind for Sidious to take and remake as he wanted. You took my son from me and let him grow up on the Force-forsaken planet! You stole years from me, months of being unaware of who I was talking to.”

My son, the winds seemed to echo Vader’s words, dancing around Luke’s small frame. The weight behind them almost seemed to push him over.

“Father?” Luke realized. The wind roared in agreement, rushed through Luke’s mind as a barely comprehendible mess acknowledging an impossible truth.

X

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Going on a galactic roadtrip for the foreseeable future! :D

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

(Somebody please get me off this ship they keep glaring at each other it’s so awkward)

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Pros of having parents: You don’t have to pay for lunch Cons of having parents: Lunch is ration bars

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

If not for the laws of this galaxy I’d have a glowing sword to cut through durasteel with

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

I have adopted 4 more mouse droids to keep our ship clean!

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

I love discovering I have a godfather who is also a pirate while being held hostage by said godfather. 5/10 experience

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

I have the power of the Force and Hydrospanners on my side!!!

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

Turns out HK-77’s programming was not as thoroughly deleted as I thought. My bad.

Twin Suns @skyseekerpilot

TIE-Fighters still suck. New video tomorrow together with @thatsaneatrick

X

“Hi!” The video showed a young blond man standing in what appeared to be a huge hanger. He was a little older than he had been in the last video uploaded on the channel.

Next to him sat an older man whose skin was as pale as ash. Many scars covered his face, the only part of his body that was actually visible. The rest was covered by dark robes. The third member of the group was another man with snow-white hair and beard. He sat in a safe distance from the ship behind the other two, reading through a datapad while drinking a cup of tea. All three of them carried lightsabers and it was practically impossible to ignore them.

“Welcome back to another episode of Scrap Hunting!” The blond continued. “I know, it’s been a year but I was pretty busy.”

He glanced at the man beside him and leaned slightly into his side, as if he were seeking comfort.

“Today we’re finally concluding our series ‘Tuning up your TIE-Fighter to prove you’re better than the bastard currently running the TIE-Fighter Program for fun and profit’. Unfortunately, the original TIE-Fighter was lost, but Father crashes so many that we could easily start from scratch with a new one. The focus of this episode is finally adding the safety that prevents the twin ion engines from moving an energizer out of alignment so that the recharge systems won’t become ticking time bombs. Henceforth, we dedicate this episode to Darth Sidious, alias Emperor Palpatine. My name is Luke Skywalker. The man in the back is my Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi-“ The old man looked up from his datapad to wave at the camera and then continued on reading “-and my helper today is my Father.”

Luke paused and smiled softly while the scarred man put his hand on Luke’s shoulder. The gesture seemed almost a little possessive, would certainly be like it if the man’s touch weren’t as gentle as a feather.

“My name is Anakin Skywalker,” the man said, his blue eyes shining as brightly as Luke’s, but much colder in nature. “And I’m coming for you, Sidious.”

The video flashed black, then brightened again, depicting a round emblem of two wings settled around a sword.

[ketakidesai]

6 reasons why Digital Marketers should NOT ignore Gamification

For the uninitiated, gamification is most commonly defined as “…an informal umbrella term for the use of video game elements in non-gaming systems to improve user experience (UX) and user engagement…”. (1)

Brian Burke, Research Vice President at Gartner, in a podcast defines gamification further as “The use of game mechanics and experience design to digitally engage and motivate people to achieve their goals…it’s the use of game mechanics… and uses things like points and badges and leader boards… It is used in a digital engagement model” (2)

Let’s take a look at the 6 reasons why marketers must consider gamification in their digital strategy. (It's a long read but I promise it will be fun!)

Reason 1: Let’s accept it – gamification is not ‘just a fad’

The last decade has seen interest in gamification rise substantially. Growth in digital technologies has further propelled this interest across sectors like Healthcare, Real-estate, Education, and other sectors. Today, mobile technology is using game mechanics combined with UX design to enhance user engagement, aid employee learning, help students with problem-solving, and even help sales personnel reach their targets.

Reason 2: Gamification is everywhere, literally!

The earliest, less refined, version of gamification in marketing was recorded in 1896 (3) when retailers rewarded loyal customers with stamps received from marketers. By 2020, one can comfortably say that gamification in marketing has come a long way.

“It (Gamification) can be applied on many products, services, or any stage of the customer journey and it’s easily adjusted to any budget” (4)

Today, Gamification is seamlessly incorporated in our favorite digital platforms like Google Pay, Fitbit, and even Linkedin. It is common to see a mobile app use badges, points, or virtual currency to drive user engagement. While there are popular applications that have gamification at their core like Duolingo and Nike Run Club, there are apps like Zomato which have incorporated gamification into their product to keep app users coming back for more.

In 2019, Zomato launched Zomato Premier League during the IPL season. Users could predict a winner of the IPL cricket match of the day and gain 30% cashback if they predicted the winner correctly. Zomato released a scorecard of the activity that showed 224 cities and 14 Million predictions achieved during the IPL season. (5)

(On a separate note, Google decided to ruin the game and sent a notice to Zomato citing Play store policy violation – Zomato had to take off this feature in September 2020) (6)

Reason 3: Your digital audience wants to have fun

“Many brands don’t need brand awareness anymore, they already have it. So they’re looking at what’s next, they want to engage the audience, the influencers.” (7)

Digital marketers need not limit themselves to using gamification only in an app – digital engagement can be successfully created wherever the audience is including social media! Micro-gamification moments have been popular on social media platforms for some time now. One example of the micro-gamification moment is Stories Ordering by Burger King.

Burger King Spain used Instagram stories and had some fun with gamification. With “Stories Ordering” followers could pick ingredients and customize their Whoppers by simply clicking on the Instagram Poll Feature. This generated a unique coupon that participants could use to redeem their Whopper for free. A simple creative idea with zero media investment led to 270000 brand interactions.

Similarly, Star Movies launched Play @ 7 (8) to gamify the TV watching experience. Viewers were required to watch the movies played on the channel daily and play 7 games by tweeting the correct answers to the games. Star Movies created a leader-board on Twitter in real-time where participants could track their progress daily and weekly.

Reason 4: Personalise to Gamify and Gamify to personalize

“While the job of gamification is easing the daily tasks in different fields, the users’ interests and likes must be considered to create intrinsic incentives and a moral environment for them.” (9)

For a truly effective retention strategy, a brand must enhance the product experience for the user. For this ethically collecting relevant data along the user journey to personalize content and keep users engaged becomes important. Duolingo emails a weekly report to its users reminding them of their progress in comparison to the previous week. Similarly, Starbucks sends rewards points as a birthday treat to its users.

As the collected data gets richer in quality, marketers can then create loyalty programs, feedback mechanisms, gamified content, and much more, to personalize the user’s experience further.

Reason 5: Gamified marketing survived COVID-19

Locked up at home due to COVID-19, people were increasingly active online, consuming a variety of content, and playing games when not working. Between March 2020 and April 2020, comScore noted a 62% increase in the time spent on playing games online in India. Another report states that the US and UK saw a ‘40% surge in the time spent on online games’.

During this time, Burberry launched its summer collection through a gamified campaign. The luxury brand created a multiplayer game “that lets players dress up their characters in the brand's outfits before grabbing a surfboard and challenging friends to a race around a track”. The game rewards participants with daily prizes and AR-based digital rewards. (10)

ABC Entertainment decided to have fun promoting its classic TV game show “Supermarket Sweep”. To announce the return of the show, the broadcaster launched a Twitter game “Supermoji Sweep”. The audience on Twitter was required to “reply to its @SuperSweepABC account with combinations of nine emoji for grocery items including cheese, bread, steak, turkey and cherries”. Every emoji had a secret dollar value attached to it and the audience was required to guess the combination of items that would cost exactly $20. And the reward for the correct guess? A Special video message from comedian Leslie Jones, who is also the host of the show.

Reason 6: Gamification is about to get better

The overall Gamification market globally is expected to be worth $76298.9 Mn by 2030 (11) and for marketers, the opportunities are endless. Game mechanics are combined with AR/VR in education, tourism, healthcare, and entertainment industries.

In 2019, Ally Bank used AR and Gamification to create an online learning experience for consumers. “The augmented reality game brings Monopoly to life in six USA cities… Ally aims to improve consumers’ financial literacy through gamification while giving them the chance to increase their savings and win prizes."

PetSmart used Snapchat’s AR feature to create a “gamified quiz based around educational reptile facts”. Using this feature users could use the filter to turn themselves into a reptile, answer questions related to reptiles, and win a 40% discount coupon that can be redeemed at a PetSmart store. As a result, PetSmart “has seen a 50% increase in reptile sales, as well as a boost in general pet sales as owners stocked up on food and supplies in preparation for lockdown..”

Digital marketers can leverage these technologies to present immersive and gamified experiences to consumers and expand the scope of digital marketing. Similarly, brands can work towards gathering relevant user data and utilize it to create a better user experience and consumer engagement through personalized in-app gamified experiences.

Parting Thoughts

From engagement to retention, gamification can support most of the marketing objectives. This is a great approach ONLY if the marketer is clear about what objective the brand is trying to achieve when adopting the approach. To elevate a user’s experience through gamification, marketers must weave storytelling or personalization.

But remember, creating a gamified experience is not easy. Experts have researched why gamification fails and these reasons range from lack of understanding of the target audience to not being able to create a compelling story. Brian Burke mentions that gamification fails when it is used to manipulate the user’s experience to meet the organization’s goal, instead of the goal of the customer (2). As a result, marketers must create an experience that helps the consumer achieve their objectives. And this means going beyond mere reward points.

I will leave you with two popular frameworks Elemental Game Tetrad Model by Schell and Octalysis Framework by Yu-kai Chou. Both these should help you start off with planning and designing an outstanding gamification experience for your audiences/customers/users!

Add alt text

FIN!

Thank you for reading this article. I would love to hear your views on gamification and how digital marketers can leverage game mechanics to improve user engagement.

If you found this article interesting or if you have any feedback for me, do share the same in the comments below!

All references and cited articles can be viewed here.

[pansexualgrapes]

I Want You. I Need You. I Love You.

Part 1: I Want You

Dean x reader

Warnings: implied smut but no actual smut, kissing? bad writing? that's it.

About 2000 words

Author’s Note: So this is my first supernatural fanfiction, so fingers crossed. This will be a three part fanfiction, and each chapter will be fairly long. So, without further ado, enjoy my hopefully good writing.

When you meet Dean Winchester, you’re in a shady downtown bar. It’s the kind where the lights flicker and the bar stools creak when you sit down. But you’re not here for the atmosphere. You’re here for the cheap booze. You had just broken up with your boyfriend, and alcohol seemed to be the thing you needed right now. You knew the relationship had been heading down hill, but it still hurt when you broke up. You could never seem to make anything work.

You decide to play some pool to take your mind off your troubles. You haven’t been playing for very long when you hear a gruff voice from across the pool table. You look up to see the most gorgeous man standing in front of you.

“Mind if I join, sweetheart?” the man says.

You quickly close your mouth after you realize it had been hanging open. You compose yourself enough to answer.

“Yeah, sure,” you say, trying to stop your voice from shaking.

You grab the triangle and start to gather the balls. :) The man starts to help you collect all of them. Your arms brush as you fill the triangle. That simple touch sends your heart racing and blood rushing to your cheeks. You look away se he doesn't see you blush. You don't see him glance at you and smirk.

Fifteen minutes later, you’re losing badly. He only has three left and you have six. You miss the next shot you take. You huff and cross your arms. “Your turn.”

He smirks and takes his shot, getting one in, but he misses the next one.

“Your turn sweetheart,” he says with a smugness that makes you grit your teeth in irritation. Or it would, if you didn’t know exactly what you’re doing. You bend down to take your shot, pretending to be frustrated. You don’t notice him check out your ass. You drain the first ball, and then the second. The third and fourth follow closely behind. He just stares at you as you win. A furrow forms in between his brows. As you drain the eight ball, you look up at him and grin. He gives you a tight smile, trying not to look annoyed, but you can see the corner of his mouth twitching. He comes around the table to stand by you.

“You played me sweetheart.” He’s trying to cover it, but his pride is hurt.

“Yah, I kinda did. but it wouldn't be much fun letting you win, would it?” you say with a flirty smile.

He moves closer to you. His gaze meets yours and you can’t look away. It’s like you’re hypnotized. Your bodies are impossibly close now. His breath smells like whiskey.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” he asks in a husky voice.

It’s a tempting offer, and you want to say yes so bad, but you had just broken up with your boyfriend, and a one-night-stand isn't what you need right now. You don’t know why, but something tells you to take it slow with this guy.

“I can’t I just- right now I can’t.” it pains you to refuse, ”but here's my number. If you ever want to get out, go on a date or something, just call me.”

You write your name and number on a napkin and give it to him. He takes it with a smile.

“Thanks sweetheart. I’ll take you up on that offer sometime.” He says it honestly. Something in eyes makes you think he’s genuinely interested in you. “Y/N, pretty name. I’ll see you around, Y/N.” he gives you a cheesy wink.

You laugh. “I’ll see you around...”

Dean, Dean Winchester.”

“I’ll see you around Dean Winchester.”

You don’t hear from Dean until a week later. You’re cutting vegetables in your kitchen when you get the call.

“Hey sweetheart.” His voice is a little shaky.

“Oh! Dean, hi!” you're surprised to say the least. After a week of not hearing from him, you had almost lost hope. “What’s up?”

“I was just wondering how you’ve been.” Dean says. He sounds nervous.

“Um, I’ve been pretty good. How ‘bout you?”

“Yah... yah I’m good.” He obviously wants to ask you something else.

“So did you call me to ask me how I’m doing?” you question. Dean lets out a nervous laugh.

“Um, no. I was actually wondering if you wanted to go out on a date with me on Friday.”

You smile widely. “Of course I’ll go on a date with you.”

“Awesome! That’s great. Can I pick you up on Friday about 6pm?”

“Yeah, that sounds great!” you pause, deciding your next words. “Dean, I’m glad you called.”

“It took me a while to finally grow a set and call you,” he says, and you laugh, “but I’m glad, too.”

The both of you are silent for a moment, before Dean speaks again.

“I was thinking we could go to Novak’s. You ever been?” he asks.

“I’ve seen it, but never been inside,” you admit.

“My friend owns it. It’s amazing sweetheart, you’ll love it,” he promises. “So Friday, I’ll see you then?”

“Yes, definitely. See you then.”

“Good-bye, sweetheart.”

“Bye Dean.”

Dean picks you up right on time on Friday. You’re wearing a simple, but attractive outfit; dark denim jeans, a Led Zepplin T-shirt, a black leather jacket, and black boots. You put on some makeup, but not a lot. It is, altogether a comfortable outfit, and you feel confident in it. Dean looks handsome as ever in blue jeans, T-shirt and brown leather jacket.

“You look gorgeous sweetheart,” he says, a small smile gracing his lips.

You blush and look down. “Thank you,” you say, meeting his eyes again. ”You look very handsome yourself.”

You can tell he’s nervous, but not anxious, just excited.

“You ready?” he asks, and you nod. He goes to open the car door for you, and you notice how beautiful his car is. You can tell he loves it and takes care of it. The drive isn’t long, and the silence doesn’t feel awkward with classic rock playing gently in the back ground.

The restaurant is nice and homey, not to fancy. It looks like a family run restaurant, which is fine with you. You like these kind of places anyway. The two of you are seated across from each other in one of the booths. The waitress comes and takes your orders then walks away. There’s an awkward silence, and you decide to break it.

“So what do you do for work Dean?” you question.

“I’m a mechanic at my family’s business. My dad started it when I was four, started teaching me about cars. I started working there when I turned eighteen, have been ever since,” he answers.

“Did you ever want to be something else, be someone else?” you ask. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being a mechanic.”

He thinks for a moment before answering. “I actually wanted to be a firefighter for a really long time. I almost applied to go to the academy.”

“What stopped you?”

“My dad needed help in the shop. My brother was still in school. I figured I already knew how to be a mechanic, and I could help my family out so I stayed.”

Just then, the waitress brings you your food. The two of you are quiet for a moment while you dig in.

“So,” Dean says. “Tell me a little bit about yourself.”

“Well, I’m a bartender, and I’m being promoted to manager. And, I really like my job, so that’s helpful," you say with a small laugh. “I have an older sister, who lives in New Jersey. I’m originally from Missouri. Grew up in a small farm town, so I was pretty eager to get out and see the world.”

Dean asks you about your parents. You ask him about his brother. The conversation doesn’t lag the entire time you’re there. You get completely lost in each other’s company. Even after you’ve finished your food and paid the bill, the two of you still talk and laugh for a long time. When you look up at the clock, you realize it’s getting kinda late.

“It’s getting late Dean. I should probably go home,” you say reluctantly.

Dean glances at the clock. “Yeah, you’re right,” he agrees. The two of you stand up and make your way to his car.

As you drive home, you think about how amazing this night was, how Dean and you had just clicked. It makes you feel butterflies in you stomach.

After about ten minutes, Dean pulls up to your place.

“Let me walk you to your door?” he asks.

You nod.

He gets out and walks around your car to get your door for you. You take the hand he offers to help you out. The two of you walk silently to your door. You turn to face him.

“I had a really great time tonight Dean,” you say. The porch light casts a soft glow on his face. His eyes look impossibly green.

“So did I Y/N.”

Dean is so close to you. He leans in, putting a hand on your waist, asking permission. Your lips close the gap between you and press gently to his. Your arms wrap around him as his hand comes up to cup the side of your face. His lips are slightly chapped, but still soft. You’re sure he can feel your heart beating like crazy. Finally, Dean begrudgingly pulls away.

“I should go home. Goodnight sweetheart,” he utters.

“Goodnight Dean,” you whisper.

After that first date, and that first kiss, Dean and you become enthralled with each other. You go out together more. You learn more about each other. Tell each other the hard things, the deep stuff. Soon, Dean starts introducing you as his girlfriend, and you have no problem with that. Your friends tease you, but they can see how happy you are with Dean. In four months, you’ve fallen for him, hard. Sometimes you go over to his place. Sometimes he comes to yours. You usually watch a movie together, which usually leads to making out. That’s exactly what happens tonight. Dean’s at your place. You’re sitting together, your head resting on his shoulder, his arm slung around you. At a slower part in the movie, you look up at him. He looks down at you and smiles a little bit. He leans down and captures your lips in a gentle kiss that makes your heart skip a beat. After kissing for a while, he nips at your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You pull closer, letting him know it’s okay. You moan slightly as the kiss deepens, his tongue sliding across yours. You break away for a second to catch your breath, and to move so that you can be on top of him. A shaky breath escapes his lips as you settle on his lap. You look into his eyes and his pupils are blown with lust. His hands rest on your hips, his chest pressed against yours. You lean back to grab the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to- don’t feel like you have to-” Dean tries to say, but you cut him off with a kiss. He kisses you back, one hand going to the small of your back, the other tangling in your hair. You roll your hips and slightly grind down. He gasps into the kiss. You lean back and tug the bottom of his shirt, and he obliges by taking it off. You run your hands over his freckled skin, feeling the muscle beneath. Dean reaches to undo your bra, his fingers fumbling with the clasp.

“Dean. Dean,” you say, breaking the kiss, “let’s go to the bedroom.”

“Y/N, are you sure?” Dean questions, looking up at you.

“You gaze into his emerald eyes. “I’m sure Dean.”

Love ignites like a spark between you. Every movement by Dean sends your mind reeling. Every touch makes you see stars. Every gasp makes you dig your fingers into his shoulders. Every sound pulls you together. It’s like you’re magnets, and some invisible force is pulling you together. This moment feels infinite. You’re floating in a world that was created just for Dean and you. No one else can touch you. No one else can kiss you. No one else can love you. This is a moment completely made for your souls.

“I want you, Dean,” you say.

“I want you too, sweetheart, so bad,” Dean answers. His lips trail down your neck.

“I need you, Dean.” you confess.

“I need you, so much, Y/N,” Dean utters. He kisses from your collar bone to your jaw.

“I love you, Dean.” The words leave your mouth before you have time to stop them, and your breath catches in your throat. Dean’s eyes bore into yours, looking for any uncertainty, but there is none.

“I love you too, Y/N,” Dean whispers, and you know he does. He kisses you deeply.

This was perfect, Dean and you. But nothing perfect ever lasts for very long, does it?

[level99games]

Five Top 4's

I was asked by a friend to share some of my favorite media, so this post is a list of my personal favorite Books, Video Games, Board Games, Movies, and etc. Perhaps this will give you some insight into my creative tendencies, or perhaps it will just be a good opportunity for you to comment and agree/disagree/discuss with me!

Originally this was going to be a top 5 list, but I found myself with 4 obvious answers, and struggling to name a fifth in each category. So I just made it top 4—if it didn’t come to mind immediately, then it doesn’t really deserve that recognition, after all. Without further ado, here goes!

Top 4 Books

Rumo & His Miraculous Adventures - I love all of Walter Moers’ books, and if you haven’t read this author’s work before, you’re really missing out. The Zamonia series builds a wonderland-like world where whimsical species live in harmony with one another.

Good to Great - My favorite business manual. Good to Great showcases what specific elements of leadership, discipline, focus, and culture contribute to success. It’s something I’ve worked tirelessly to replicate in the offices of Level 99 Games.

The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius - One of the most influential philosophy books for me, the Meditations is a classic that instructs the reader in a calm, measured approach to life and its challenges. Much of the book deals with overcoming fear and the internal challenges that are formative to us all in growing up.

Blazing Aces: A Fistful of Family Card Games - Perhaps the best game-related book I own. Reiner Knizia turns a standard deck of playing cards on its head and uses it to play 15 stunningly original games, all based around the evaluation of Poker hands. If you want to see a real master of the game design genre at work, this is the book to get.

Top 4 Board Games

Libertalia - This game is an incredible feat of design, and it combines the simultaneous selection of games like BattleCON and Exceed with a clean resolution system and mechanics that make it appropriate for up to 6 players. The style of the game is excellent, and the mechanics lead to interesting, loaded choices every single turn. This is one game I always want to show my friends, and its something that I would recommend to players of any skill level.

Magical Athlete - Magical Athlete is not at all what we would define as a “modern” game. However, I never fail to have fun with friends when I pull this out and bring it to the table. I keep a copy in the office to remind myself that it’s important not to get too caught up on high-concept mechanics and high-budget art—all this is merely in service to fun, which can be achieved just as easily with simple mechanics and whimsical gameplay.

Dominion - Dominion is one of the most influential board games on my own personal style, and is the game that, to me, signals the temporal and stylistic break between the classic hobby games and modern ones. The incredible amount of modular content generated by shifting setups inspired the many variables present in games like BattleCON and Exceed.

Unlock Adventures - Evocative and interesting without being overwrought, Space Cowboy’s Unlock Adventure series is just the right size for a game you can only play once. I’ve got the whole collection, and eagerly watch for any new ones that drop. I love playing these with my wife and with friends, and they take only a few minutes to teach with the built-in tutorial.

Top 4 Music Artists

Scooter - Spotify tells me that Scooter is my most-listened-to artist of 2019, and a few past years to. I really enjoy the personality and character of these tracks—a Scooter album is always a bit more than an ordinary techno/trance album. 

Masterplan - Classic Power Metal. I enjoy their work just a little bit better than Symphony X, Jag Panzer, and Helloween. The characters presented in the songs are a bit more interesting, and songs have a kind of progression of story that you don’t see in a lot of other outfits.

Avantasia - I’m a huge fan of Tobias Sammet’s Edguy, which is more of a traditional Power Metal outfit. Avantasia’s tunes are more orchestral and fall squarely into the Fantasy Metal genre. I love the long epics such as “Raven Child” and “The Scarecrow.”

Electric Six - Electric Six is somewhere between comedy and irony. I enjoy the catchy lyrics and tunes, with some tracks being quite nuanced, others being pure nonsense, and some simply self-aware schlock peddled for laughs.

Top 4 Video Games

Legend of Mana - A game that I’ve idolized since I first played it nearly two decades ago. There’s so much happening in this game, and so many different systems—magic, crafting, golem making, farming, music—that all feel like they fit seamlessly into the universe. On top of that, I love the world with its fantastic races. Far more than a typical “fantasy world” with a bunch of human-like peoples, Legend of Mana presents a wonderland of mythological creatures, animated objects, and talking animals as its cast.

Crono Trigger - While many games have come after it, Crono Trigger still holds a special place. It takes an incredible feat of writing to make such a well-interlaced and cohesive series of parallel worlds. I still hum the tunes from its soundtrack to this day, and the game’s most memorable moments have inspired hundreds of later games. I also enjoyed Crono Cross. I don’t care what you think.

Atelier Escha & Logy: Alchemists of the Dusk Sky - I’ve played a large number of the games in the Atelier series. I love the aesthetics of it, and I really enjoy the puzzle of making items. I’m one of those people who plays an MMO just for the gathering and crafting systems. If you’re anything like me, you’ll likely enjoy this series. Escha & Logy has a great balance of combat and crafting, and is an excellent entry point to the series.

Danganronpa - Say what you like about it, this dark, closed-room mystery series defines the visual novel genre for me. Danganronpa’s cast and situations are wild, but it really draws you in. It has a great pacing and character development that will make you love or hate every member of the cast individually, and the mysteries always take a surprising turn.

Top 4 Movies

The Lighthouse - My favorite film of 2019. Masterful film work and character acting make this CGI-free Black & White picture a modern masterpiece of suspenseful storytelling. The Lighthouse establishes Robert Eggers as the true modern successor to Hitchcock.

Wild Tales - It’s impossible to sum up this movie in just a short paragraph, so go watch it instead. This is a vignette film about revenge and human emotion, and the lengths we will go to settle the score against perceived injustice. It’s also just fun.

The Rocketeer - Between a beautiful soundtrack, high adventure in the early age of aviation, and memorable villains, there’s a lot to love in this classic. Even more than Indiana Jones, I consider this to be the quintessential pulp-action film.

Tampopo - A classic Japanese film that remains interesting time and again. Like Wild Tales, this is a vignette film consisting of several interlaced stories about our relationship with food and with each other, all tied together by a central thread.

Anyway, there’s my list! If you have checked out any of my favorites, or if you check them out due to reading about them on this list, please leave a comment and let me know! I’m curious to hear your opinions as well!

About the Author

D. Brad Talton Jr. is the President of Level 99 Games, as well as the designer of BattleCON, Millennium Blades, Pixel Tactics, Exceed, and many more games. He lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with his wife Lynda and daughter Kathryn. 

[bedlamgames]

No Haven 0.875

Download links can be found on the No Haven page. Patch notes can be found under the break.

If you don’t have RAGS and you need a copy to run it there’s one on the help page here. If RAGS has never worked on your system despite the help page suggestions then it might be worth trying with one of the alternate players. There’s also improvements on there to the RAGS player that can also help with performance.

There’s two minor issues I’m aware of that are currently outstanding:

-The new Elementalism traits under full custom for you may not work on assignments. 

-CT Error with Dance the Night Away. Appears that you can just ok it without it calling issues

Update notes under the break. This includes a number of hotfixes so scroll down to see all the content added with each one:

v0.875:

-Two new nightly activities for you in Target Practice for Elementalist: Lightning and Encourage Growth. -Exhausted or very low morale camp bitches will no longer be able to find extra supplies. -Added a bunch more feedback to the end of day of what exactly is changing morale. -Added a small extra bonus for having perfect morale on assignments. -Added more checks to ensure an event is not repeated twice. -Critical fix for not being able to corrupt a slaver or slave yourself or corrupt the encampment with the changed Magic: Corruption you now get from Full Custom. -Critical fix for corruption not happening on assignments. -Fix for not being able to take Shadowplay with Corrupter (note: Corrupter will still be on the old unique starts and I'm not planning to change that). -Fix for some odd behaviour in suggestions due to previously cancelled assignments. -Fix for Asanei, Oozes, and Lizardmen not getting the extra points for taking Harmony. -Fix for Sapphic High being spread around far more than intended. -Fix for the various hypnosis mantra effects on assignments not working correctly. -Fix for the current last stage of Rose debt referencing the wrong gender. -Fix for Magic: Blight being removed. -Fix for Magic: Illusion not being discounted as favoured.

v0.874:

-All magic and elementalist traits can now be taking in full custom. Full usage where you'll some extra functionality along with being able to use them in respect checks will come in the next update. -Lady Kiruna has become more tactful along with being more circumvent in regard to how she uses her blight magic. -Adjusted the traits on the rewards on Reign of the Witch-Queen and added a bonus value to her. -Added some more common eye and hair colours. -Golems will no longer tickle. -If you would be occupied like a slave would be i.e. being corrupted you will be in-eligible for the Puppet Leader activities at the end of day. -Accompanied slavers will no longer be penalised for their companions not having the job skill that they do. -Critical fix for slavers with a companion losing their gender during an assignment. -Fix for unique slaves not showing their aspect descriptions. -Fix for some quality attire not boosting the assignment types they should be. -Fix for Defending on Coastal Corsairs allowing you to go over the slave cap. Now has some alternate text with increased gold and supply rewards. -Fix for certain assignment effects persisting onto other assignments when they shouldn't. -Fix for your slavers forgetting to bring the slave with them after repicking on Whore Makers. -Fix for Witches not being counted as a Very Rare race. -Fix for the accompanied by themself message. -Fix for the Board of the Crossbones success having double beautiful. -Fix for some repeated 'the's. -Fix for Lay on Hands being shown as Irrepressible. -Fix for Tosk's abbreviated traits showing up as incorrect initially.

v0.873:

-New playable Centaur start with patron provided commissioned art and a lore page. For now he'll be under Ogres until I add some generic Centaur starts. -Added a lore page for the reward you can get from Reign of the Witch-Queen. -The new wisp unique Kyssandra has gotten better at reading the stars and will be far more likely to prophesize about you or someone else in the encampment. -Centaurs now always, rather than mostly always, come with Monster including for free when playing as one on fully custom. -Decreased the chance of all Inattentive occurrences a bit. -The new tentacle armour will now count as masterwork for improving assignment results. -Fix for Deluge for Oozes not recognising a valid slave for the critical result. -Fix for the longer Vicarage Tarts not working as well as the shorter version (which apparently was the only one I tested) -Fix for Unbreakable being giving repeatedly on level up. -Fix for a CT Error with Dance the Night Away -Fix for a bunch of issues with Reign of the Witch-Queen. -Fix for a bunch of issues with Green Wooden Door. -Fix for some other issues I'd missed with Ritual Casting.

v0.872:

-New assignment: Behind the Green Wooden Door. A special uncommon assignment that can appear in any region that uses the opportunity system that Tribute of the Lost, Listening to Whispers, Ensnared Rose, Male Perfidity, and Dance the Night Away also use. Has commissioned art to go with it and is the first assignment that can potentially reward an increase to trait capacity. This assignment also uses vignettes for both the intros, failure, and disaster results that were introduced in Price of Freedom. -As part of this new assignment I've overhauled the opportunity system all of those assignments will have a lot more variation to what they will ask for. Far more traits will be of interest, different outfits, not just larger breasts will be desired, heights can now be relevant, and new combos of different forms of training will be very lucrative. -New assignment: Reign of the Witch-Queen. A new one off super-rare assignment on the Dreadsea Coast that works in three parts and has some special rewards. Has two pieces of commissioned artwork generously provided by a patron. -New assignment. Vicarage Tarts. A new uncommon one for the Great Plains with different goals and varied outcomes for each of those goals depending on how much space you have in the pit. -New assignment. A Deluge of Oozes. A new rare one also for the Great Plains including a recruitable unique and a new outfit with its own mechanics. Includes a new commission generously provided by a patron. Also used for the Ooze Caller playable unique start. -New commissions for Hidden Temple, Halt Human Caravan, Halt Cathayan Caravan, and Raid Travellers Inn. Halt Human Caravan now has a second commission for succeeding. These are also used for now for Orkhai slavers and Human Commoner slavers before I can get more generic ones for those races. Neko slaves now uses one of the Biomancy commissions instead. Double teaming futa sex will now use the new Halt Cathayan Caravan one. While I was there I also add some new options to generic sexing options to make use of other commissions like the harpy titfuck training and the bimbo training ones. -New commissions for Demi-Angel Slavers/Slaves and the elven demi-angel start generously provided by a patron. This will likely also be a source for an assignment later. They also provided one I'm using for Draenei futa slaves and Kitsune slavers which again is likely to be an assignment later. -New statuses in Shattered, Exhausted, Fatigued, and Inattentive. For now these are mainly for the new outfit from A Deluge of Oozes. Other than that Wisps have a chance of becoming Inattentive at the start of each day to represent their flighty nature. Legion have this too but to a lesser degree and also for slavers with the Unhinged trait. I've also added a chance of getting this from the pleasure plug from Quick as You Like. All of these will prevent the slaver being used other than Fatigued which will generally apply the day after recovering from being Exhausted and will increase the Disaster chance if you send them out again straight away without giving them another day off.   -Been looking for a way to show the currently invisible wounding/removal modifiers without running into timing and/or walls of text issues. After an excellent suggestion on stream I've instead now just listed them all under the Help and Glossary. -Updated how corruption is applied on assignments. Not everyone has been changed but many now use the new system where morale penalties will be applied where relevant based on faith (or lack of it) so for one example Blinded Lady adherents will be extremely annoyed at taking slaves to Changing Places. More assignments can now also trigger the Demi-Angel fall where enough corruption is involved and the Demi in questions gets unlucky. -Blessings of Dark Favour (previously also known as Blessing of the Fel) will now last longer when applied from all sources so now it's not possible it'll last only one day. It will also now apply to Corruption assignments along with Marauding -Adjusted the value of some races to better reflect their rarity. The different harpy breeds especially have different values now rather than all having the same one. It's also not just lamia succubi that get a large value bonus as demi-angel and fallen ones now do too. -Added some stuff to the Warning note at the beginning.   -Renamed the Queen of Sin to Magdea von Pravitatem aka Azjerial Ravier at the request of the patron who funded her inclusion. -Updated the Magic: Arcanist trait description for those races that would not need a classical schooling to use the arcane. -Elven Hospitality disaster is now a permanent removal. -Fix for Ritual casting issues. -Fix for a lot of the new accompanying text being completely broken as they were all checking the wrong variable. -Fix for Carakarr harpy racial in regard to heavy armour. -Fix for you healing being attributed to someone else. -Fix for the trait description for the crafting traits. -Fix for Arcanist checking on Wedding Crashers. -Fix for the Mistress of the Ensnared Rose talking about Ettersilk when she's removing something else that's stuck on you. -Fix for being hungover not always being checked when seeing if a slaver is available. -Fix for the idea that a wisp or legion might actually do some helpful manual labour if they're in the encampment in the first seven days. -Some text fixes.

v0.871:

-The composition for the River Barges commission was one of the first ones I did and it showed. Plus it was kind of silly on a crit you'd then get non-commissioned art. So I've changed that by splitting the two pieces and redoing them. -'Adjusted the race generation to better take account of harmony and outcast.' turned out to be harsher than intended. Especially for the ooze caller start leaving her with no oozes at all. So I've adjusted the Shun the Other and Ooze Caller oods both upwards compared to where they were before. -Given the increase of the functionality I've increased the cost of Dancer from 4 to 2. -Fix for Dumb Luck being well dumb. -Fix for remove Favoured/Unfavoured Bonuses removing Dominant instead. -Fix for the Human noble examine being missing and displaying a black video screen. Same for the male lago'mae start. -Fix for Biomancy no updating time correctly. -Fix for the Assign a Slave options not being enabled correctly after taking the relevant aspects. As a reminder for those who aren't aware that it's possible you can find out if a slaver has the Dominant or Submissive traits by talking to them. -Fix for the Ritual Casting option not being added correctly. -Fix for importing a character wiping biomancy or Recruiter/Strong Right Arm. -Fix for having no idea what a slaver is doing and knowing what they did. Also added a couple more variations. -Fix for not getting the examine picture when levelling up a slaver and them getting a new trait. -Fix for some issues with the new owned/slave driver/strict supervision functionality. -Fix for Lackey being checked correctly. -Fix for Naturalist having M:Na as a requirement instead of Herbalist. -Fix for not being able to take Blighted Aura.

v0.87:

-28 new aspects available on level up. Includes two ways to assign slaves to slavers on a permanent basis which will effectively remove the slave from the encampment as an upgrade to the slaver in terms of their traits, bonuses and other stuff too. Also includes aspects for ever faith including one pretty crazy one which while powerful will be a serious ongoing gamble. -Due to one of the aspects dealing with the different summons from Magic: Summoner I've updated their names and descriptions to make them all the more distinctive. -Shark of the Cards, Dance the Night Away, A Taste of Glory, Pillow Talk, Word in your Ear, and A Corner of Your Very Own have new bonuses and text to reflect having someone else along be it a slave, owned slaver, or summon. These bonuses can be improved with training. -New assignment: Behind the Green Wooden Door. A special uncommon assignment that can appear in any region. Has commissioned art to go with it. (Coming in the Hotfix) -New assignment. Reign of the Witch-Queen. A new one off super-rare assignment on the Dreadsea Coast that works in three stages. Has two pieces of commissioned artwork generously provided by a patron. (Coming in the Hotfix) -New assignment. Vicarage Tarts. A new uncommon one for the Great Plains. (Coming in the Hotfix) -New assignment. A Deluge of Oozes. A new rare one also for the Great Plains. (Coming in the Hotfix)   -A new Wisp unique with several new mechanics. Has commissioned artwork generously provided by a patron. (Coming in the Hotfix) -Other New commissions: Scout the Ever Forest (with crops used for Human Noble slavers and Probe the Infestation. Basic and Advanced Titfuck training (coming next update, but used for now for Lyonixin harpy slavers, and Bimbo harpies), Asanei maid slave (will have an attached assignment next update), and the resident biomancer of the Ensnared Rose (for now will be also used for Lago'Mae slavers until I can get something more generic done for them). -Adjusted the race generation to better take account of harmony and outcast. -A lot of new variations for "didn't get up to much as far as you can tell for the rest of the night" -Owned slavers will no longer contribute towards Crushing it! and their traits will be weaker than normal both in terms of being a positive and in being a negative. Accompanying characters from the three new aspects will work the same way. Owned slavers will also no longer gain XP and will instead use their owner's experience level. -Rebalance of some aspects so they need a minimum level of experience. Gaining traits from level up will no longer be blocked by having five aspects. At five aspects you will no longer be blocked from getting aspects that would normally take an aspect slot like those that upgrade from an earlier one. -Due to one of the new assignments I've added two new paragraphs to the Ooze examine lore. -The aspect Squirm and Writhe now cancels out Weak and Enfeebled. -Fix for the bimbo mantra adding slutty to cumsluts. -Fix for the race trait packages not having the right level of rng. -Fix for a forced encounter being able to start incorrectly. For one example when the slave in question is currently escaping. -Fix for being able to set Alice Charmane or Bles Giggleswell free via the Price of Freedom or selling them at Auction. -Fix for elven descendent Hakh being described as being human instead. -Fix for the second position's traits not being checked correctly on In Pursuit of Arrogance. -Fix for outcasting into Lizardmen not working. While I was there I've made Keldan, Lizardmen, and Kitsune Shun/Outcast less mental.

[intothedanvers-e]

Young, Dumb, & Broke

Word Count: 2.6k (whoops)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You just graduated high school and were ready to embark on your last summer of being a dumb teen and going on adventures before having to face the realities of the adult world. One day you were driving to a lake to meet some of your friends when your car broke down in the middle of nowhere. With no service and no gas stations around you wandered a little down the street and found one house where you went to ask for help. You expected to find an old couple living in the middle of nowhere, but a nice young British guy (Tom) answered the door. Due to unforeseen circumstances you spend the rest of the afternoon and most of the night together, but when it’s time to leave he says he wants to see you again. You exchange numbers with the cute British guy and embark on a long, secretive summer fling. You both lie about what you do for a living and what you were both doing in the middle of nowhere, but the moments you too bonded were all genuine. Will he find out about your plans after summer? Will you find out what he actually does for a living? Will this fling extend past summer?

Authors Note: Thank you for all the feedback on this series! So i think im officially commiting to updating this once a week on Tuesdays! Mondays are usually a drag for me so i end up finishing a bunch of writing anyway and it helps perk me up for the rest of the week! I know its monday but next week ill update it on tuesday :) if you have any feedback/comments or would like to be added to my taglist for this series let me know!! this chapter is a little longer but I wanted to sort of finish this part to move on to cuter angsty stuff ;) i genuinely hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoy writing it!! thanks for readin <3 

Here’s my masterlist!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 5

Chapter 4

You jumped up from the couch, your phone alarm startling you awake. You quickly turned it off trying not to wake up a sleeping Tom on the other couch. It was too late, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He smiled at you as soon as he saw you were awake.

“Sorry about that, I forgot I put an alarm on my phone so I can get up to shower. I didn’t mean to wake you up”

“S’alright. I should probably make breakfast before we go on and take a look at your car,” he said getting up from under his blanket.

“Oh you don’t have to come with me I don’t want- “

“Already decided!” he yelled as he walked into the kitchen.

He started playing music from a speaker as the sound of pots and pans being shifted around became louder. You quickly took a shower and came back out to meet Tom for what you thought was a quick breakfast. To your surprise he’d made a full spread; pancakes, cut up fruit, a ham and cheese omelet and some toast.

“Whoa thank you for breakfast,” you said sitting down in the seat next to him.

He just gave you a big smile considering he was already shoving things in his mouth. His hair was super bed-head curly and his eyes seemed sleepy but content. He looked adorable to say the least. You realized you were staring at him and quickly looked down at your various plates of food, quietly cursing yourself for staring at him for so long and hoping he hadn’t noticed.

“The car should be coming to get us at about 10, if that’s ok with you.”

“Do you mean like a taxi or something?”

“Uhh yeah,” he said quickly.

“You didn’t have to; I could’ve just walked.”

“Nonsense. Y/N when will you just let me be nice to you?”

You blushed and simply nodded your head. You spent all night trying to not be an inconvenience you didn’t even consider maybe he was just a really nice guy. He finished all the food in front of him and got up quickly.

“I’m going to go get ready before they come get us,” he said walking toward the stairs, “don’t you dare wash dishes, just put them in the dishwasher okay?”

You shot him a thumbs up and he disappeared up the stairs. 30 minutes later he walked into the living room as you were casually laying on the couch reading a book. You looked up at him and felt the butterflies again. His outfit was nothing special, a plain white shirt with regular jeans and a dark flannel, and his hair was slightly more tamed but just looking at him made your heart race. You didn’t want to admit it, but you may have a slight crush on him. You sat up as he walked over to you and plopped down on the couch next to you. He had a small box in his hands.

“I, uh, found an extra one of these in one of my suitcases. I ordered one online and they accidentally sent two. I was going to return it but seeing how much you like the character I really think you should have him.”

He handed you a tiny box with a Spiderman keychain in it. He was hanging upside down in his classic spidey suit.

“Oh my god this is adorable. He’ll look great next to my tiny Iron-Man. Thank you.”

“Just a little something to remember last night by,” he said looking deep into your eyes.

“How could I ever forget?”

He cleared his throat and looked down at his feet. He looked at the watch on his wrist and stood up.

“The car should be here any minute if you’d like to wait outside.”

“Sounds good.”

He quickly grabbed your duffel bag and headed out the door. You were going to tell him you didn’t mind carrying it, but stopped yourself and let him be a gentleman. He locked the door as a fancy blacked out Range Rover pulled up.

“What kind of taxi service is this?” you said your eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

“It’s not. He’s more like a, uh, chauffer?”

You turned to him and looked at him like he was crazy.

“What?!”

“Hey I’m not old enough to drive a rental car so, uh, my friend Harrison always manages to hire a chauffeur for if I need to get around places! It’s no big deal, I know the guy.” he said doing a quick handshake with the driver who had gotten off to open the back door for you. You climbed in the car shaking your head at Tom who got on the other side. Within a few minutes you were pulling up next to the mechanic. You could see that they were working on your car. You quickly thanked the driver and climbed off. Tom grabbed your bag and sent the driver on his way.

“Hey if I need you I’ll call you big guy. You’re the best man.”

They did their little handshake and he drove off. The both of you walked into the small office together. A middle aged man turned around in his chair to face you.

“How can I be of service to you today?” he said in a thick southern accent.

“Hi I’m Y/N, uh my car is the one that got picked up late last night. The small green one.”

“Oh that car. Got some of my best guys working on it, although I will say I do think you’d be better off selling that piece of junk and buying a new car little lady. Don’t know how much longer it’ll last.”

“I just need it to last through the summer.”

“Well let’s go ask Hal how it’s comin along and we’ll see if it’s even fixable okay lil lady?”

You nodded and followed close behind him, Tom close on your heels. You walked over to the car and saw that four guys were working on various different parts of it. The guy from the office was talking to who you assumed was Hal. You took a step closer to see if you could hear anything. Hal turned to look at you and extended his hand toward you.

“Hello ma’am I’m Hal, the best mechanic at this here Complete Auto Body. I take it this is your car?”

“I’m Y/N, yeah this is my baby.”

“Well no offence ma’am but I think she’s far gone. We can repair her for the time being and make her drivable but I think in about six months’ time you’ll be back in here with some irreparable damage. Might consider selling her off.”

“Six-month reliability is fine. I just need her to pull me through the summer.”

The guy looked at you confused and nodded. He turned to the three guys who were all hovering around your car.

“Well you heard the lady.”

They all went back to working on your car. The guy from the office walked you back into the tiny room.

“They should be done within the hour ma’am. If you give me a few minutes I can gather up a quote for you.”

You nodded and he left the room quickly. You and Tom sat on two chairs that were up against a wall. He turned to look at you and you realized he had a confused look on his face.

“What?”

“Why do you only need your car through summer? Are you planning on buying a new one?”

You looked down and started picking at your nails.

“No but, um, I’m moving away after the summer. I was planning on selling my car right before I moved so that I don’t have any more baggage that I don’t need.”

“Oh for like college or something?”

“Yeah kind of. I just need it to get me to and from work this summer. After my last shift I’ll drive it off to sell it and I’ll be done with this town.”

“I thought you liked it here?”

“I do, I guess. But I just need a change of scenery. Its home. It’ll always be home; I don’t think my mom wants to move anywhere else. I just need to not feel like I’ll be stuck here forever you know?”

He gave you an empathetic smile and looked like he was about to tell you something but was cut off by the guy walking back into the office.

“Here you go ma’am,” he said handing you a yellow receipt.

You smiled and looked down at the paper. You felt like your head was going to fly off your body.

“1500 dollars?!”

He walked over to you and began explaining everything you were paying for but you couldn’t hear a word he was saying. All you could think about was how big of a setback this would be toward you finally getting away from this town. You had just about 1500 in your savings account but that was going straight toward your moving away fund, or at least it was supposed to. You suddenly thought about the emergency credit card your mom gave you. She would probably be mad as hell if you used it but at least this way you could pay her back in payments and not all at once. It would set you back a month or two but you could continue to make the payments from anywhere in the world which meant you could technically still leave whenever you had enough money. You cut the guy off and stood quickly.

“I need to make a phone call.”

You quickly walked out of the office and dialed your mom. She was out of town and probably working but you had to try, you didn’t want her to find out about the credit card charge from the bank but from you instead. It went straight to voicemail. You tried a few more times with no luck. You decided to try one last time and this time it only rang once and went to voicemail. You decided to leave a message.

“Hey mom. So something came up and don’t panic but good ole Patricia took a beating last night. No it wasn’t a crash but she got pretty fucked up. Anyway unfortunately it’s about 1500 to fix her and, uh, I’m using the emergency card to pay it. Please don’t be mad. I’m going to pay you back every last cent, with interest if you want. I’m really sorry. I know I fucked up. Call me back. Bye.”

You hung up and groaned into the sky. This was just your luck. You wanted nothing but to leave and expand your horizons but something kept having you tethered here. Despite how nice and good you were to people, you always seemed to get the worst karma. While you were standing there feeling sorry for yourself Hal walked over to you.

“She’s all yours ma’am. My boys are just dustin’ her off for you.”

“Thank you Hal. I just need to go back inside and pay her off.”

“My pleasure ma’am. Be safe out there.”

He shook your hand and quickly walked off. You dug your wallet out of your backpack and walked back into the office. To your surprise Tom was standing in front of the man’s desk shaking his hand.

“Nice doing business with you kind sir.”

“Yeah whatever,” the man said handing him your car keys. He saw your confused expression and quickly pushed you out of the office.

“I have to, uh, pay him.”

“All taken care of Y/N,” he said pushing you toward your car.

“What are you talking about Tom? I can’t just leave without paying him.”

“It’s paid for,” he said using your key to open your trunk to set down your duffel bag.

“What do you- “

It instantly clicked in your head. Had he just paid 1500 dollars to get you your car back?

“Tom what the fuck?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you just pay 1500 dollars?”

“No.”

“Tom!”

“Not technically.”

“TOM WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Can you please get in the car and I’ll explain everything where 15 guys with heavy tools can’t hear us?”

You quickly climbed in the driver’s seat. Your heart felt like it was going to pop out of your chest and it felt like you were sweating bullets. You didn’t like owing people things, and you already felt like you owed Tom a lot for letting you crash at his place overnight; you didn’t want to owe him actual money at this point.

“I’ll pay it all back. We just need to go to an ATM so I can take the money out of my savings,” you said turning the car on.

“No Y/N it’s really not a problem. The guy was trying to scam you. While he was explaining everything you were essentially paying for, some things weren’t adding up. I know a thing or two about fixing and restoring old cars, and he was telling you about things that didn’t even exist. When you left to talk to your mom I asked to see the receipt and called his bluff. You really only owed him 650 dollars, so I decided to pay it off so you never had to look at that sleazebag again.”

You were trying to process everything he was saying, your head was spinning so much you had to pull over.

“Wait how did you know I left to call my mom?”

“The windows might have been open?”

You gave him a death glare.

“Okay look think of this as an investment. I could tell by the tone in your voice that you’re the kind of person who hates asking people for things, especially your mom. I figured you’d probably been saving up to move out of here for as long as you could remember and I didn’t want this to fuck it up. I’m investing into your future Y/N. I could feel the passion you had in your dreams from the way you talked about them last night in the pool, and I believe in you. I had the resources to help you, so I did. No strings attached. I just really didn’t want to see a bad thing happen to a good person.”

You sat there a second without saying anything, hands glued to your steering wheel.

“650 dollars is still a lot Tom. I can’t just accept that from anyone, especially someone who has already opened their home and risked their life to give me a place to crash. Let me pay you back, please?”

“Y/N I promise you you don’t need to.”

“Let me be your unofficial tour guide,” you said quickly.

“What?”

“Let me show you around, from the point-of-view of someone who knows this town like the back of my hand. Whenever I’m not working and you’re not busy I’ll come pick you up and we’ll go on an adventure.”

He looked at you and smiled.

“Deal. I was hoping this wouldn’t be the last time I would see you this summer.”

You pulled off the side of the road and began driving.

“Oh you and I are going to get real close this summer Tom. That’s my official Y/N promise, and I never break a promise.”

You took a quick glance at him and smiled, he gave you his signature goofy smile with a slight shade of pink in his cheeks. Your summer just got a lot more interesting.

Tag-list: @hollandlovely @greenarrowhead @justanotherfangirl2015 @oh-dear-tommy @marvelnerdxinfinity @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @hollandhugs @tiredofallthetroubles @marvel-ing-at-it-all @built4broadway

strikethrough means i cant tag you for some reason :(

[beardycarrot]

This post is way too long so ignore it and just keep scrolling

Alright. Having played both Sonic Mania and Sonic Forces, I can now say, based on my own experiences... that Sonic Forces is a smoldering garbage heap.

First off, let me get this out of the way: the character creation system is... okay. In the screenshot above, you can see My Original Character,  Blonic  Eiko the Cat. You have several different anthropomorphic animal species to choose from, each of which has their own species-specific ability. Birds can double-jump, cats hold on to a few rings even after taking heavy damage, that kind of thing. There’s a selection of three head types for each species, about a dozen eyes, and can set two skin/fur/scale/feather colors. Not bad.

For the game’s main selling point, though, it feels a little weak... especially in comparison to the last game I played, South Park: The Fractured But Whole. In addition to your character’s physical appearance, which meshes perfectly with the South Park style, you can set your character’s gender (male/female/non-binary/multi-gender), whether they’re cis or trans, both their race and ethnicity, their sexual preferences, religion, all sorts of stuff that are pointless in the context of the game but let you make your character whatever you want them to be. I’m not saying that all games should have this, but I did just play that game, so I can’t help but compare Sonic Forces to it since the character creator is meant to be one of the game’s big gimmick.

Anyway. In addition to your character’s body, you also get to dress them up with outfits you unlock as you play. I guess this is a cool concept, with you getting between three and twelve costume pieces every level depending on how well you do and whether anything you did in a level completed a special objective... but it’s annoying constantly being pelted with costumes you’ll never wear. I was a mixture of fortunate and unfortunate in the fact that clothes I like (a tactical outfit in black and olive green) were unlocked within the first couple levels, so I could wear an outfit I like throughout the game... but it also meant that I never had any reason to change out for new gear or experiment with costumes that would only be less appealing to me.

There’s also the jarring fact that with clothing on, your character looks completely out of place. Most of the other characters in the game wear nothing but white gloves and sneakers, and seeing you alongside them just makes them look naked. I’ve spent way too long talking about customization. Moving on...

...You can also customize your avatar’s weapon, which I guess is the power of the Wisp aliens from Sonic Colors stored in a gun? There are probably advantages to all of them, but you spend less than half of the game playing as your avatar, every enemy in the game dies in one hit, and the fire weapon I started with can clear a screen of enemies in literally two seconds... so I never really bothered with them. You also occasionally find Wisps locked in capsules, but the game never actually gives you a real tutorial for them. It’s possible that it was explained in a hint marker, but it’s possible to take a route through a level or jump at just the wrong moment that you miss the marker and can’t go back to see what it said. I eventually figured it out in level twenty-five, which is right at the end of the game... and that level also happens to be a great example of why I don’t like this game.

I know that as a still frame this is kinda incomprehensible, but what you’re looking at is a little vertical shaft kind of thing. There have been shafts like this elsewhere in the game, but they’ve always been things you either just dropped down through or rode an elevator in or had platforms to jump on. Here?

This game apparently has a wall-jumping mechanic, which only appears here, in the twenty-fifth of thirty levels. I’m completely fine with video games using mechanics sparingly or even basing levels around a gimmick that never appears again... but this is the only time in the game that this happens, and the mechanic isn’t even implemented very well. If you’re too close to the wall it will sometimes fail to activate, if you press the jump button again too soon you won’t cling to the wall, and sometimes your series of jumps will have you end up jumping over the wall to the left instead of going right... which is an issue considering that for the second half of the level, you have to do this while trying to outrun a giant instant death laser. Assuming you can even get to that point.

I can’t tell you how long I was stuck here. To the left is a checkpoint, and all you can do is collect what looks like an electric Wisp in a capsule, then... wait to the blue death laser to kill you and put you back at the check point. The dark red boxes are breakable, and you’re clearly meant to either get down through this shaft to continue... but there’s no obvious way to do this. I thought that you were supposed to use the electric Wisp somehow, but I guess you can only do that if you have the right Wisp weapon equipped, as the game only seems to care when I collect capsules with fire Wisps in them.

I was eventually forced to watch a video of someone playing this level, and they just kind of... broke through all the boxes at once. After further research, I discovered that if you press the Crouch button (which I’ve never pressed up to this point and forgot existed) while in the air, you’ll do a stomp move that the game never bothered to teach me.

Once you’re past that, the next section is incredibly difficult... I figured out how to use the encapsulated fire Wisps (it’s the “Wisp Special” button that I’d previously been unable to figure out the function of) to skip over the obstacles, but if you don’t time/aim it properly, you’re back down in the area where you have to deal with the wall jumps that occasionally send you careening backwards.

I know that I’m just complaining about one difficult end-game level, but the entire game is like this. It’s all either gameplay mechanics the game doesn’t explain properly that are prone to failing, or levels that are way too short and simplistic. I haven’t even touched on the jumping mechanics... Want to know how many times I died replaying that level to get those screenshots?

A couple of those are from the laser section, but it’s mostly falling into bottomless pits because you’re pretty strongly locked into your jump trajectory when playing as Your Own Character, and the platform placement in that level sucks. It’s not as big of a deal when playing as Sonic; I think Classic Sonic has free control in the air, and you only play as him in two or three levels, while Modern Sonic’s levels are so completely filled with enemies and jump pads that you can just spam the jump button to string homing attacks through anything that isn’t a speed section. Places where the gameplay becomes frustrating aren’t as common as in other games I’ve played recently (L.A. Noire comes to mind), but that’s because the majority of the levels are ridiculously simplistic and easy, and when you reach the end without anything really happening you’re just like...

Which brings me, finally, to the worst part of the game: the story. This is among the worst video game writing I have ever seen... and as someone who does a lot of art for indie, amateur, and fan games, I’ve seen a lot of scripts from “idea guys” who’ve never taken any kind of literature or creative writing classes.

The basic premise of the story sounds interesting, and seems like a huge departure from the normal Sonic formula: Dr. Eggman and his new associate Infinite use the powers of all the major antagonists from past games to kill Sonic and take over the world. The remaining characters of the Sonic universe form a resistance movement (the forces in Sonic Forces) to fight back, and half a year later Your Own Character joins up after their home city is destroyed.

Damn, man! That’s pretty dark! Unfortunately, it completely fails to deliver. Unsurprisingly, Sonic isn’t dead... but he HAS been held prisoner and tortured for the last six months. Despite that, he’s in high spirits and joking with his captors... yeah I dunno, just bad writing ...and manages to escape when the resistance attacks the base and temporarily disables the power grid. Why Sonic was in a Laser Prison and wearing Laser Handcuffs that require uninterrupted power to operate is just more bad writing, as is the fact that he was being held on a space station and you’re never shown how the resistance got up there.

More importantly, it’s never explained how the resistance discovered that Sonic was still alive. There are other captives in the same area, so THEY would know he’s alive, but there’s never any indication that one of them managed to escape. Speaking of which, they’re all still imprisoned after Sonic breaks free, and I think the space station ends up destroyed... so those guys are probably all dead. That reminds me of another point: most of the levels just end at a random arbitrary point. You ostensibly have a goal that you’re trying to reach, but the goal markers are always, like, in the middle of a hallway, which looks no different from anywhere else, and there’s no cutscene showing what happens what the characters do after reaching their goal... the level just kinda ends.

Most of the game’s dialogue and exposition is in the form of radio conversations that occur on the map screen, which I can’t help but admit makes sense: media too often forces characters to be in the same place for scenes to occur, when logically they would’ve just spoken on the phone. The issue I have with this is that it really does make up the bulk of the game’s dialogue, and none of the conversations are ever that interesting. Honestly, more than anything it reminds me of the kind of story you’d see in a free-to-play mobile game... except there isn’t really any kind of story being told, just information being relayed. There isn’t any kind of character development, since the game expects you to already know who everyone is and what their paper-thin personalities are.

After Eggman spends six months taking over Literally The Entire World, and the resistance apparently does very little to stop this, Your Own Character joins up and things start happening instantly. They rescue Sonic, then Classic Sonic appears out of nowhere to save Tails from Chaos, the creature from Sonic Adventure. I guess they included him (Classic Sonic, that is; after this cutscene, Chaos is never seen again) to trick people into thinking that this game would be similar to the much more popular Sonic Generations. I think the plot of that game involved time travel, accounting for the two Sonics, but here they’ve retconned him as “the Sonic from another universe”.

Speaking of time travel and alternate dimensions, Silver and Blaze are in this game... I’m no big Sonic fan (in fact, Sonic Mania and Sonic Forces, both of which I played this week, were the first Sonic games I’ve ever beaten), but them being part of the resistance is kinda inexplicable. To my knowledge, Blaze is from an alternate dimension, but in Sonic ‘06 was somehow Silver’s partner or something in the post-apocalyptic future. In the end, I think Sonic saving the day included the elimination of the timeline in which Silver existed... so I’m not really sure what’s up with Silver and Blaze being in this game. Are they now retconned to just being normal people who live in the same place as everyone else?

I’m also really confused on how this game fits in with the rest of the series. Infinite’s power is to create autonomous physical virtual reality projections, and he uses it to create his own versions of the Chaos, Zavok, Metal Sonic, and Shadow... so in addition to being in continuity with Sonic Generations and Sonic Colors (the game the Wisps are from), you also have to include the Sonic Adventure games and Sonic Lost World. Again, I’m no expert on Sonic, but... I’m pretty sure at least a few of these games feature planets populated with humans, and not the hordes of bipedal animals that make up the only characters in this game. Is there just no official continuity at this point?

As an aside... every character you see in scenes like this are made with the character creator, but for some reason they’ve limited themselves to a very small number of models instead of just using a bunch of different random colors and other features. See that bluish-purple dog at the front? If you look closely, you can see five or six identical dogs in the background, all doing the same animation where they raise their guns up in the air.

I’ve gotten REALLY off-topic, which is basically a war crime with how long this post is already. Anyway, as I was saying before I derailed myself, once Your Own Character joins the resistance things happen super fast. Sonic is alive, Classic Sonic appears out of nowhere and punches the Chaos clone (which is subsequently never seen again, despite Infinite being able to create an infinite number of them), and Eggman for whatever reason reveals that his ultimate plan will be complete in just three days. I’m not really clear on what this plan is, but it involves a virtual reality projection of the sun... I don’t know, Majora’s Mask-ing the planet and killing everyone, maybe? Again, bad writing.

Sonic faces off against Infinite and, despite the player winning the boss fight, gets his $#!+ kicked in... and that’s when Infinite says, and this is an actual, verbatim quote, “You’re not even worth the effort to finish off”. I think I might actively hate the writers of this game. I feel like I should probably also mention that the boss fight takes place on the back of a giant snake that’s just kinda floating there, suspended in mid-air, above a forest that is also a casino?

It’s at this point that Infinite drops a prototype version of the Phantom Ruby, which is what gives him his powers. How did he fail to notice that he’d dropped something the size of a softball? How was he even carrying it? WHY was he carrying it, when the finished perfected ruby was already embedded in his chest and he’d been using it for over six months? If you expect these questions to have answers, well, that bold text in the last paragraph must’ve caught your eye and you’re just now at this point starting to read the post. Hello, welcome! The writing in this game is absolutely abysmal!

Your Own Character picks up the prototype ruby and holds onto it for the next three days... well, except for when they drop it while Infinite is looking right at them after a boss fight, and he doesn’t notice ...and at the end of the game, uses it to somehow get rid of the virtual reality sun. How do they know that the ruby is and how to use it? No idea. How do they get rid of the sun? Happens off-screen. Then, further confusing matters vis-a-vis whether the prototype ruby is invisible to bad guys, Eggman acts as if he saw it... despite it breaking and disappearing before he arrives. Weird.

Alright, backtracking a bit, I need to touch on the stupidest plot point in the game: the Phantom Zone. Well, I think it’s called Null Space or something, Eggman calls it “a little something the Phantom Ruby cooked up”, whatever that means... but it’s basically the Phantom Zone. A pocket dimension that supposedly contains literally nothing. Eggman opens up a portal into it, Your Own Character tries to save Sonic from it, and they’re both pulled in... man, that’s a scary concept, isn’t it? Being trapped in an empty void?

If a regular prison held Sonic for six months, and he only got out with help from the outside, then I can’t even imagine how long this will-- haha just kidding it’s twenty seconds this game was written by chimps.

Apparently “completely empty” means “filled with blocks you can run on”, and Sonic manages to get out... by double-boosting. There are a handful of levels where you play as both Sonic and Your Own Character at the same time (the “you’re next to me and I’m next to you” in the Hoobastank song you hear in that video), allowing you to use the Wisp weapons while also using Sonic’s super speed. You’ll also be prompted to “double boost” at set points, which consists of the characters jumping in the air, fist-bumping, and then... holding hands and somehow running even faster, I guess? I’m not at all clear on how this works, or how it broke them out of Null Space.

I’d be totally okay (bored, but okay) with the prototype ruby being responsible for them escaping, but that’s not how it’s presented: they’re meant to have escaped through the power of friendship and running really, really fast. I mean, I can come up with a reason it works, gimme a minute... uh... virtual reality... pocket dimension... gotta go fast.... gotta go faster faster faster faster faster... aha! Maybe it’s an empty, infinite void because it’s being created as you move through it, but the double boost allows them to move faster than it can be created, allowing them to break free? Yeah, that’s dumb but plausible in-universe. Too bad the writers made literally no attempt to explain it.

After that, it’s time for the big showdown with Infinite, the game’s hot new antagonist. Who is he, why does he hate Sonic, why is he working with Eggman? What kind of awesome boss battle will you have against him? Not explained, not explained, not explained, and it’s just a slight variation of the boss fight you have with Metal Sonic earlier in the game. You DO get an explanation of who he is if you play Episode Shadow, free DLC consisting of three levels that you played in the base game that serves as a kind of prequel. All of your juicy Infinite-related questions are answered: he’s a nameless mercenary who went all emo because Sonic beat him up. Oh. Well. That’s... lame.

This post is already over three thousand words, so I’ll wrap it up. After your boring rehashed boss battle with Infinite, he just kinda... runs away, never to be seen again, and you have to contend with Eggman and his giant robots. It’s not very interesting. Once the day is saved, you get this completely inane exchange between the characters, which in most games would be the worst bit of writing... here, it might be in the top five. Knuckles says that the fight is over, everyone can go home, there’s no longer a need for the resistance... but then Amy (or someone) says, “no, we’re just getting started!”, and Knuckles nods in agreement as if she didn’t just directly contradict him. As if two characters doing this isn’t bad enough, Tails then does the exact same thing all by himself, saying something like, “we won, the resistance is done, now we have to come together to save the world!” I think he also says something about just one person not being able to change the world, which I’m pretty sure runs contrary to a “one person CAN make a difference!” message the game had been going for earlier.

And... that’s about it. I have nothing more to say. This game is bad, anyone who defends it is lying to themselves, and it’s entirely possible that I’ve spent more time writing this unfocused rambling post than I did actually playing the game. I’m not a Sonic hater; the playground politics surrounding video games in the early nineties didn’t exist where I grew up, so to me Sonic has always just kinda been that series with the interesting music that I had no particular interest in playing. As I mentioned, I played through Sonic Mania at the same time as I was playing Forces, and loved it. It’s a bit on the hard side for someone who’s never played a Sonic game, but aside from a few annoying bits in Hydrocity and Oil Ocean, it’s a blast all the way through. That’s a great game... and Sonic Forces, in my opinion, is decidedly not.

Back in 2017 I made a post about the Metascore for Sonic Forces, and received backlash for it. I decided to wait until as many critics as possible had reviewed the game, and... never really felt like doing the update, so didn’t get around to it until now. So, how much of a difference does a year make in the review score?

Oh wow, it’s like I knew what I was talking about or something. Well, kinda. At the time I said that Sonic Forces didn’t seem like a bad game, based on what I’d seen of it. Having played the game for myself... I think my opinion is known.

[olivereliott]

Speed Read, September 12, 2021

We’re launching into this week’s round-up with a radically reworked Moto Guzzi Bellagio, and finishing off with a look at the upcoming Moto Guzzi V100 Mandello. Wedged in between are a garage-built Honda CB450, a rescued Harley-Davidson Sportster 883, and a Royal Enfield 650 from XTR Pepo.

Moto Guzzi Bellagio by Guzzi Motobox Custom shops that specialize in a particular marque have a habit of pulling out all the stops—and Guzzi Motobox in Catalonia is probably one of the best examples. After all, how many workshops could turn the laid back Moto Guzzi Bellagio into a fire breathing cafe racer?

GMB’s work on this Bellagio is a double whammy; they’ve not only dramatically changed its silhouette, but also given it a boost under the hood.

Using cylinders and pistons from specialist outfit Radical Guzzi, GMB took the motor from 935 cc to 1,500 cc, with four valves per cylinder instead of two. The team also converted the bike from fuel injection to a carbureted setup, and ditched the air box for a pair of velocity stacks. The stock exhaust headers were tweaked to run a pair of HP Corse mufflers.

The running gear’s been upgraded too, with the Showa forks from a Kawasaki ZX10R up front, and a custom built Öhlins shock out back.

The wheels are stunning 17” spoked units from Kineo, and the brakes are Brembos, complete with carbon fiber cooling ducts on the front discs. It wasn’t all plug-and-play though: GMB boss Manel Segarra reports that matching up the front forks, wheel and brakes took a lot of fiddling.

Higher up, GMB built a whole new subframe to sharpen up the Bellagio’s lines. The fuel tank and tail section, plus the front fender, are all custom pieces. “A close friend, German Dervidson, made them for us,” explains Manel. “We made the pieces in a special foam, and German replicated them with aluminum.”

The Guzzi also wears new rear sets and foot controls, with clip-ons, Beringer levers and switchgear from Renard Speed Shop up top. Other add-ons include new yokes, a small GMB speedo and an LED headlight. A custom carrier at the back holds the license plate, along with a pair of combo taillight and blinker LEDs. [Guzzi Motobox]

Honda CB450 by Scott Loyet There’s something special about hobby builds, and the blood, sweat and tears that are poured into them. This tastefully stylish Honda CB450 cafe racer is Scott Loyet’s first build—a project that took him four years to complete, because he resolved to only work on it when he “felt like it.” And it’s a pretty remarkable first effort.

Scott picked up the 1973 CB450 around the same time that his friend, Cory, also started working on a 70s-model CB.

“Cory has been my ‘Yoda’ throughout this project,”says Scott, “a man who has been around engines and motors all his life. My dad was a grease monkey, and I always admired the way he could fix anything on our family cars—and frankly, anything around the house, including hair dryers!”

“With no mechanical experience and new time on my hands since my kids had gotten older, I embarked on ripping apart my first bike. As my dad said to me, ‘you learn more from your mistakes’ and I learned A LOT. With parts and assistance from not only Cory, but also Dime City Cycles, Common Motor Collective and lots of YouTube videos, I was able to get over the finish line.”

Scott first stripped the bike down, then sent a bunch of parts off for fresh powder coating. The engine was refreshed with new valves and top end gaskets, and is now hooked up to Mikuni V32 carbs with velocity stacks from Speed Moto. Sparck Moto supplied a new wiring harness, and Scott installed an electronic ignition, new coils and plugs, a rebuilt starter, a Lithium-ion battery and a new regulator and rectifier.

Scott refreshed the front forks, but replaced the rear shocks with a new pair of Progressive units. The brakes were rebuilt, and the wheels re-laced with stainless spokes from Buchanan’s. Up top are new bars with wrapped Trip Machine Co. grips, and new dials. And all the lighting’s been replaced with LED units.

Scott had help along the way. CJ at Pullman Fabrications handled the custom battery box, rear loop and frame reinforcements, and built the new exhaust headers, which are connected to Lossa Engineering mufflers. Aaron at Pleasant Hill Auto Body massaged the fuel tank so that it’d transition with the seat better, Brian Jennings handled paint and Armand’s Auto Upholstery covered the seat.

“This bike was therapy for me,” says Scott, “with endless hours cleaning, shining and building. In the end, it is a tribute to my dad and an heirloom for my son or daughter.” [Images by Shirley DeFrancisci]

Harley-Davidson Sporster 883 by Minority Custom At a glance, this 2000-model Sportster 883 from Indonesia’s Minority Custom doesn’t break any major new ground. But it is very pretty and extremely tidy—impressive, when you consider that it started out as a wreck.

“’Simplicity is beauty’ is what our garage strives to show in our designs,” explains shop boss, Jonathan Evan. “We found this motorbike in a dull and damaged condition. Some parts of the engine were leaking and broken, oil was everywhere, and it had malfunctioning rear brakes and broken pistons.”

Minority rebuilt the Sporty inside and out, making a number of changes along the way. The crew wanted to give it a slight chopper stance—so they stretched the front forks and swapped the front wheel for a 21” hoop. There’s a solid 16” rear wheel at the back, hooked up to a custom-made sprocket.

Next, the OEM fuel tank was cut-and-shut to shrink it, and to make it sit tighter on the Harley’s backbone. Behind it is a custom leather seat, and behind that, a hand-made mini sissy bar that adds a touch of chopper sass, without going overboard.

Up front, tucked under the standard-issue Sportster headlight nacelle, is a smaller-than-stock light mounted on a custom-made bracket; a neat touch that most eyes won’t notice. The handlebars are one-offs too, as are the stainless steel slash-cut exhausts.

Top marks to Minority for the lush color scheme too—the frame’s been done in turquoise, with some green hues mixed in on the bodywork, and a smattering of chrome. The tank bears the shop’s own unique take on the typical Harley eagle motif, and was completely executed by hand. [Minority Custom | Images by Val Willson]

Royal Enfield Continental GT 650 by XTR Pepo A number of custom builders have already shown that Royal Enfield’s new generation Continental GT 650 is ripe for remodeling. But in the hands of the mad scientist Pepo Rosell, it’s really come alive.

This 2019-model Continental GT 650 is sporting a number of signature XTR Pepo touches—not least of all its heavy endurance racing vibe and protruding headlights. They’re mounted just forward of a custom fairing, which in turn sits on custom brackets.

Tucked behind are a CNC-machined top yoke from Riga Billet Parts and XTR Pepo clip-ons. The quick-throttle and right switches are from Domino, the brake master cylinder is a Brembo item, the clutch assembly is from a Suzuki GSX-R, and the levers are CNC-machined XTR Pepo parts. There’s also a new oil temperature gauge, and foot pegs and controls from K-Speed in Taiwan.

The custom fiberglass fuel tank lightly mimics the original design, but has a transparent strip on the side for checking levels, and an aluminum filler cap from ACC Endurance. The solo seat is Pepo’s design too, and the subframe’s been modified to match it.

Pepo replaced the rear shocks with new ones from YSS, swapped the 18” wheels for 17s, and shod them with Continental Road Attack tires. The exhaust headers have been shortened and now exhale through a pair of Turbokit megaphones.

Elsewhere, Pepo’s added LED turn signals, a custom license plate support, and a CNC-machined chain tensioner and sprocket cover from Riga Billet Parts. Artenruta handled the cheeky red livery—the perfect finishing touch for this rapid-looking Royal Enfield. [XTR Pepo | Images by Belen Piqueras]

The new Moto Guzzi V100 Mandello No, you’re not looking at a modern reinterpretation of the iconic Yamaha TDM850. This is the new Moto Guzzi V100 Mandello—a brand new ‘tall rounder’ with a brand new motor, that’ll make it’s official debut at EICMA in November.

Moto Guzzi have revealed nothing more than images and a teaser video [below] that desperately wants to remind you that the marque’s logo has an eagle in it. But there are a few dead giveaways and easy speculations. The engine looks to be all-new, with liquid cooling and an assumed capacity of 1,000 cc, and power is still directed via a shaft drive.

The video also reveals air channels on the fairing that open and close, and a windshield that moves up and down. It’s not clear whether these will operate automatically or not, but we’ve seen the term “active aerodynamics” bandied about, so make of it what you will.

Guzzi specialists Classic Co. either have inside info or are master speculators. They’ve pointed out a large airbox where the tank would go, an under seat fuel tank, and a four-valve-per-cylinder engine layout that can be bumped to 1,300 cc and used in a wide variety of applications. They’ve also cleverly noticed that the air intakes sit above the cylinder heads, and the exhaust ports below, unlike Guzzi’s current V-twins.

Looking at the red and green bikes that Guzzi have shown, it’s also clear that the V100 Mandello will most likely come in two models. Both are sporting Brembo brakes, but the green version [above] also has Öhlins suspension at both ends.

Overall, we’re digging the slightly 80s aesthetic, and it looks like it’d be a fun ride—as long as it delivers enough power in a decent weight class. Color us curious. [Moto Guzzi]

[bunnythemonsterlayer]

The White Rabbit

Because I have been dragged back into WATCHMEN fandom Hell and @social-justice-waterbender wanted it, I dug up the corpse of my vigilante’s profile I wrote up almost 10 years ago for a WATCHMEN AU and edited it so the timeline worked and actually made some lick of sense.

If anyone has further questions about her they can totally ask but here’s the jest of what was in the document I found all prettied up. Enjoy

General

Identity: Alice Darlene Early

Alias: The White Rabbit

Years in Service: 1966 – 1977, 1985

Born: September 12, 1945

Died: November 2, 1985

Relatives: Ernest Early (father, deceased) and Cynthia Grant (mother)

Affiliation: Former Crimebusters member

Base of Operations: New York City

Status

Alignment: Good

Identity: Secret

Citizenship: American

Marital Status: Single

Occupation: Former waitress at Mr. Charles's Diner, Saboteur

Characteristics

Gender: Female

Height: 5'8”

Weight: 150 lb

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Black

Race: Mulatto

Origin

Universe: WATCHMEN AU

Place of Birth: San Fransisco, California

Place of Death: Antarctica

Skills: Acrobatics (Gymnastics), Martial Arts (Defensive, Fall Recovery) Charisma (Morale Boosting), Mechanics (Fix-it, Disassembly), Thievery, Medical Knowledge (Basic First Aid), Acting

Advantages: Loyal, Quick Reflexes, High Stamina, Determined, Privileged Upbringing

Disadvantages: Impulsive, Emotional, Stubborn, Insecure, Attention Hungry, Secretive

Equipment: Pocket Watch, Trackers (2), Flash Grenade (1), Steel “Toed” Boots, Blast Resistant Visor, Audio Scrambler

Motivation: Upholding the Good/Thrill Seeking/Self Validation

Background

Born in San Francisco, California, Alice moved to New York in 1962 at the age of seventeen in the hopes of finding a place where she could get a different perspective on life and make something more of herself. After years of civilian living unable to think of an effective way to achieve her goal of self fulfillment, she made the decision to become a vigilante, using information she would overhear from customers she waited on during her job as a waitress. She teamed up with Rorschach and Night Owl II in 1966 after they begrudgingly allowed her to stay due to her constantly showing up and 'helping' them.

Outside of her vigilante lifestyle she had no contact with any of the other Crimebusters, only finding out their identities later after the Keene Act with the exception of Rorschach till his arrest in 1985. She did not reach out to any of them and as a result is the only vigilante to stay completely anonymous after her forced retirement.

Character

Alice is subdued and even headed compared to her vigilante counterpart. She treats people the way she wishes to be treated, believing that such behavior will prompt others to treat her the same way, even going so far as to give them the benefit of the doubt should they wrong her the first couple of times. Her reasoning being that everything is gradual and to expect things to instantly change is ignorant and foolhardy.

Being so far from home and often feeling alone, Alice will subtly cling to people she has regular contact with. Usually by catering to their needs and going out of her way to do things for them that will cause them to favor her positively. To further the pleasant image of herself, she is very secretive about her past and deeper feelings, fearing a negative response; something that can be attributed to her growing up in a Nuclear Family setting and having to keep up a certain image.

Fueled by adrenaline and anonymity, Alice's White Rabbit persona is extremely hyper active and allows her the freedom to express herself in ways she can't during her day job. Although the constant exuberance can be uplifting it more often than not leads to impulsive behavior, over stepping boundaries and a needless exhaustion of effort. A believer in never dying loyalty, White Rabbit will stick with her colleagues to the point of complete stubbornness even when it's to her detriment.

Out of costume, Alice shows no outstanding physical ability aside from being able to balance multiple objects such as trays of food during her waitress hours and lift her own weight to climb up things.

Politically Alice doesn't tie herself with any specific party, choosing to just go with what she feels is fair and just. However, due to growing up in California there are hints of subconscious leanings towards more liberal beliefs, though her level of patriotism boarders on pure nationalism.

In regards to her sexuality Alice appears to be heterosexual. Her attitude towards romantic conquest comes off as blasé and worrisome, not making any effort to even attract a mate. Reasons for this being the possibility of someone finding out too much about her, resulting in a broken heart and abandonment. This, however, coupled with her clingy tendencies usually ends up resulting in anxiety, mental exhaustion and distress when she does find herself developing feelings for someone. When pressed to describe her perfect man, Alice states that anyone is fine as long as he is a good man and someone she can be proud to stand by.

Costume

To keep her identity a complete secret The White Rabbit's costume has head to toe coverage, including a wig to conceal her natural hair color. Fashioned after the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, the costume consists of a visor, mask, tailored jacket, undershirt, gloves, high waist shorts and leggings that also act as her boots. The entire outfit is made by herself. The toes of her boots are fitted with solid steel toes designed to look like rabbit feet, which were meant to give a hand up for climbing and inflicting damage when delivering kicks. To further hide her identity, The White Rabbit fakes an exaggerated Northern Jersey accent on par with Betty Boop, meant to be distinctive and agitating.

Skills and Equipment

Having grown up with a stereotypical home life, Alice possesses skills in various gendered activities such as sewing, cooking, baking, dancing and penmanship with a plethora of knowledge in classic literature. School activities such as gymnastics and other light sports helped prepare her for her life as a vigilante helping hone her reflexes and reaction times as well as her ability to recover from falls. All her martial arts 'training' was taught to her by travel buddies she met on her way to New York, originally just starting out as a fun activity to do during pit stops. Realizing that she couldn't stand up against most men, she focuses on defense, evasion and using her opponents weight against them. These stops as well played a part in teaching her how to fix and disassemble things due to the many car issues that happened along the way. She often uses this knowledge to sabotage get away vehicles.

The visor over her eyes is made of a same material used for police riot shields, the origin of how she acquired such material is not something she's willing to reveal. It is solid enough to protect against a hard hit to the face and tinted enough to hide her eyes while giving her semi clear visibility. While able to buff and fix small chips and cracks in it, it would most likely be impossible to recreate if broken.

Her costume, contains no armor besides her visor and padded knees and elbows to break falls more efficiently.  

After teaming up Night Owl II gifted a number of things to assist her, including a reconstruction of her boot 'toes' to make them lighter and work in more efficient ways. Redesigning them to be separate parts instead of one solid piece allowed them to operate more like an actual foot, now giving them the ability to spread open for better balance.

Lacked a belt or anything for inventory carry, what little White Rabbit holds is either light enough to hook onto the waist band of her shorts or small enough to be kept in the breast pocket of her jacket. The 'tail' on the back of her costume is a small flash grenade to be used only as a last resort or quick escape. An audio scrambler is built into her pocket watch producing 5 minutes of interference to hinder calls for back up or keep surveillance mics from listening in on covert conversations. The trackers are standard and used to track targets.

Relationship with Walter Kovacs and Rorschach

The most influential person in Alice's life in New York, Alice met Walter Kovacs years before she became a vigilante. The diner she worked at was near his job and catered to many of the employees during the lunch rush. Walter would come every now and then to have coffee, food and sometimes read the paper. Their communication was sparse, only expanded through her own efforts to build a friendly connection with him as a regular customer. He was polite to her within his ability, eventually answering her in full sentences. It was only after her request for him to walk her home from the diner one day to avoid a heckling customer she worried would follow her that their relationship evolved in any way. With Walter being thankful that she was direct with her request and demeanor instead of trying to sweet talk him like other women. Pleasant, long conversation being proven possible, the two bonded and grew into being good friends.

Not aware they knew each other out of costume, Rorschach and White Rabbit would often get into small squabbles, spawning mostly from White Rabbit's too familiar attitude towards he and Night Owl II, giving them pet names like 'Rory' and 'Nighty', bumping into and touching them casually, as well as having a sense of humor in serious situations. Although this was explained as a way to lighten the mood and ease tension the behavior caused Rorschach to often become angry, accusing her of making a mockery out of their work. White Rabbit would often try to soothe him, but this only worked some of the time and more often than not end in Night Owl II having to break them up. Many nights ended in both parties being bitter towards each other. As time passed White Rabbit gained more experience in her vigilantism, gaining the two the ability to work together more smoothly even to the point of being able to go on patrol and stakeouts together without incident. It was at these times they'd talk about their motivations, eventually coming to an understanding. Some conversations would ironically consist of them talking about their encounters with each others day time alias's, oblivious to the fact that they were the same people.

As the years passed, it became clear that Walter's mental state was begining to deteriorate. Unaware it was his nights of vigilantism causing it, Alice began offering and request he spend time with her more frequently; hoping the interaction would help with whatever was troubling him. At this point however, watching the slow, descending sanity of someone she cared about happen right her eyes began to work against her own well being. Forced to come to terms with the fact that she indeed had strong, romantic feelings for someone, Alice weighted her options and in December 1974 she finally confessed how she felt to Walter. Trying to cushion the heaviness of her sudden admission, she quickly tagged on the reassurance that it was okay if he didn't feel the same way. She would later describe his face looking placid but his eyes looking terrified. In 1975, after not seeing Walter for almost a week, Alice went to the garment factory he worked at looking for him. When she asked to see him she was informed he had quit suddenly and they hadn't heard anything since. Not knowing his address or any way to contact him, Alice became inconsolable and sank into a sever depression.

At this point White Rabbit also began to notice a change in Rorschach's behavior. Becoming more brutal in his actions he started working alone more often and interacting less and less. After weeks of this environment and still wrecked with worry over Walter's disappearance, White Rabbit asked Rorschach for his help. Begging him through tears she gave him Walter's full name and former work place in the desperate hope of tracking him down. It was at this point that Rorschach figured out who White Rabbit really was, but continued to withhold his own identity. He agreed and told her he would look into it and to meet him in a couple of days. At their meeting place, Rorschach informed White Rabbit that he had found Walter and was 'alive' but refused to give any other details. Ignoring further pleading and tears, he left her in the spot, telling her to be satisfied with what she got and let Walter go.

In 1977 after the Keene Act was put into effect, White Rabbit refused to retire and continued to patrol the city. Working to stop what small crimes she could alone she as well tirelessly searched for Rorschach, who had refused to retire as well. When she found him in a fight with some local thugs she joined in to help him, suffering a blow to the face from a metal bat that shattered a large chunk out of her visor. After disposing of the criminals, White Rabbit confronted Rorschach, berating him for not asking for help. Insisting he couldn't handle the entire city on his own she assured him that she was there to help no matter what. Rorschach began to leave, coldly telling her that he didn't need her weighting him down, to which she grabbed him by the arm and demand he look at her and tell her what was wrong with him. A fight ensued, with White Rabbit demanding Rorschach accept her help, proclaiming that she wasn't going to retire as long as he stayed active as well. Finally grabbed her and staring her in the face, Rorschach ordered her to quit and go home, calling her by her real name in the process. Rattled and enraged by the fact that he never told her he knew who she was, Alice fought back harder against him, turning the entire affair into an all out brawl between them. No match for Rorschach but still refusing to abandon him Alice declaring he would have to kill her before she would leave him to die alone and cold. The fight was ended with Rorschach smashing her head into a wall, breaking her visor fully and concussing her. She plead for him not to do this, thinking of both Rorschach and Walter and who was going to take care of them if she couldn't before loosing consciousness and waking up in her own bed. The remains of her visor sat on her bedside table with a note reading 'Thank you for all you do' and bearing Rorschach's signature.

Dejected and without the use of her visor anymore Alice was finally forced to retire.

Rorschach refers to this event as 'the night the White Rabbit died', most likely as a way to continue to protect her anonymity.

The Events of Watchmen

Finding out that Walter was Rorschach via news report, Alice visits Walter in prison where she uses her audio scrambler to mask their conversation. She confronts him about never telling her who he was when he knew about her, to which Walter replies that it was for their own good. The meeting ends with Walter placidly confessing that he was fond of Alice long before finding out she was White Rabbit.

Although telling Walter and Long that she wouldn't be back, Alice still dons her vigilante costume again on Halloween night to try and get Rorschach out herself. Luckily coming in during the riot and Night Owl and Silk Specter's own rescue mission, White Rabbit gleefully joins them.

After loosing Silk Specter to Manhattan, discovering Veidt's plan, and Rorschach mailing his journal, White Rabbit finally asks Rorschach on the way to Antarctica to tell her what really happened back when he forced her into retirement. He tells her and apologizes in a less awkward fashion than he had with Night Owl. White Rabbit accepts his apology and reassures him “I won't let you die cold and alone. Well...alone at least. We are going to Antarctica.”

Death

White Rabbit witnesses the deaths caused by Veidt in his attempt to create a utopia. Everyone decides to keep it a secret except Rorschach who tries to leave and inform the world of the truth. White Rabbit loyally follows him and tries to assist him with getting the hoverbikes to work when they are stopped by Manhattan. Rorschach tells her to go back with the others to escape the price of trying to ruin Veidt's utopia, to which she refuses, repeating her promise to not leave him to die alone. Taking off her mask, White Rabbit seconds the prompting of Manhattan to kill them. Embracing Rorschach, their silhouette takes the shape of the Hiroshima Lovers before disintegrating.

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

two awkward teachers au for Destiel?

Not sure if I really hit on the awkwardness but I hope you like it anyway! (also on ao3!)

When Dean graduated high school, he had been sure that his days of developing puppy dog crushes were over. But he had been wrong. So utterly wrong.

Because there he was at thirty three years old with a stomach full of butterflies and a face the color of a cherry. All because one of his co-workers had complimented his outfit.

Christ, he was pathetic.

He was a college professor for God's sake, he molded young minds and all that bullshit, he should not be blushing like a little schoolboy. Yet there he was, standing in his empty classroom with sweaty palms and a racing heart.

It was Cas' fault really. With those big blue eyes of his and his pretty pink lips and his messy hair that made it look like he had just gotten thoroughly fucked. With his dark stubbled jaw and radiant smiles.

With his perfectly pressed suits and dorky trench coat and backwards tie. With his awkwardness and his fascination with bees and the way he tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy.

Yeah, it was totally Cas' fault. That fucking asshole.

Dean had met Cas five years ago when he had started teaching at the University of Kansas, taking over for Professor Donatello Redfield who decided to retire after thirty years of teaching. But while the older man, who retired to a cozy house on the outskirts of town with his cat, had taught both chemistry and history Dean was purely a history buff.

He had always been a history junkie, from the time he was a little toddler running around in the backyard playing cowboys. His parents had thought it was adorable, indulging him whenever he asked to watch old black and white movies or begged to go with his dad to classic car shows.

Besides his dad and his uncle Bobby, his childhood heroes had been Eliot Ness and Samuel Colt. In high school, he spent as much time studying as he did chasing skirts.

The only problem was that when the time came, his family couldn't afford to send him off to college. His grades had been wonderful but just not enough to get him a scholarship.

So, with his other options exhausted, he followed in his dad's footsteps and enrolled in the army the day after he turned eighteen. He trained to be a mechanic, never actually see seeing any combat, and after a four year stint, the government paid for him to go to school.

He studied history at KU, focusing primarily on American history and dabbling in a bit of ancient civilization. After another four years, he graduated with honors and was offered a job replacing Professor Redfield.

He had met Cas just a few days later while he was moving into his new office — he had his own office! — a friendly face who offered to help him unload some of his boxes from the backseat of the Impala. Dean had been grunting and groaning as he tried wrenching one of his boxes of books out of the backseat when a deep, gravelly voice had come out of the blue to ask, "Would you like some assistance?"

Dean had been so startled, he had jerked upright and promptly smacked the back of his head against the roof of his baby, cursing at the pain. Shaking himself, he had backed out of the backseat to find the source of the husky voice that may or may not have had gone straight to his dick.

He had found the most gorgeous man he had ever seen standing by the back of the Impala. He had been wearing a quintessentially nerdy sweater vest and a shy smile.

After gawking at the man for a few minutes, Dean had shaken himself again and accepted the man's offer, handing him one of the lighter boxes. They had walked in comfortable silence to Dean's new office where one of the maintenance workers, Joshua, was scraping Donatello's name off the glass inlay of the door.

"Oh, you must be Professor Winchester," the yet to be introduced man commented as he followed Dean into his office. "Donatello's replacement."

"Call me, Dean. Professor makes me feel all old," Dean had countered as they set their boxes down on his already cluttered desk. After wiping his palm on his jeans, he held out his hand, greeting, "Nice to meet ya."

"I'm Professor Novak," the man returned, shaking Dean's hand. With a smile, he amended, "Castiel Novak."

"Well, alright, Cas," Dean had laughed under his breath. "You mind helping me out with the rest of my boxes?"

"It'd be my pleasure, Dean," Cas had returned with a beaming grin. Their friendship had flourished from there.

It turned out that Cas' office was just down the hall from Dean's, that he taught both literature and theology. He was a favorite among students despite his sometimes too formal demeanor, largely due to his empathetic nature and rather lax deadlines for assignments.

He and Dean had coinciding breaks between their morning and afternoon classes, giving them the opportunity to get to know each other better over lunches consisting of the cheapest junk food the school's vending machine had to offer. Typical topics of conversation spanned from their teaching plans to their personal lives to their favorite television shows as they sat in Cas' office and drank too-weak black coffee.

Apparently, Cas had a ridiculously huge family, admitting that he had scores of siblings he had never actually met before. All of them had been given either Biblical names or names of angels according to Christian mythology, thus Cas' fascination with theology.

Dean had countered stories about Cas' older brother Gabriel with jokes about his moose of a younger brother who had just gotten engaged. When Cas told him the meaning of his name — speed of God — Dean told him that he had been named after his maternal grandmother.

They shared all sorts of family anecdotes from the time Dean carved his and Sam's initials into the Impala to the time Cas' brothers Gabriel and Balthazar had taken him to a strip club for his eighteenth birthday, only for Cas to admit that he was pansexual and while the women were very attractive he would rather go to a male strip club. They had even exchanged baby pictures so they could laugh at the mischief they had gotten into while still in diapers.

Dean had ribbed Cas for days about his car, an old Lincoln Continental that was unbelievably fitting for Cas. In turn, Cas had teased Dean about the copy of Busty Asian Beauties he had found in his office while helping him tidy up his desk.

Their routine of having lunch together on weekdays and occasionally hanging out on the weekends when neither of them had any other plans had continued for the next four years. And somewhere along the line, between the afternoons spent teasing each other and the nights at Dean's apartment binge watching Dr. Sexy, Dean had fallen head over heels for his best friend.

Which is why Cas' innocent comment about Dean's tie bringing out his green eyes turned the over-compensatingly butch, army vet, tough guy history professor into a pile of blushing goo. He was seriously fucked.

Especially when Cas sent him a wink afterwards before flouncing out of Dean's classroom to get to his own before his students showed up. When Dean's students arrived, shuffling into class with tired eyes and cups full of Starbucks coffee, he was still struggling to will away his blush.

He somehow managed to make it through his lesson about the atrocities committed by white settlers without embarrassing himself any further. As he handed out study guides for their next quiz, he resolutely ignored the way one of his students raked her eyes over him like he was a piece of meat.

Maybe his tie brought out his eyes a little too much.

He gave a quick little lecture about studying that was met with a chorus of exaggerated groans and a round of simultaneous eye rolls before excusing his students. As they filed out of the room, he grabbed his phone and shot a quick text to his friend Charlie, I think Cas just hit on me.

Charlie, the school's resident IT expert who taught an afternoon computers class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and was a friend from high school, answered a few seconds later. What?! 👀👀👀

Dean glanced at the clock as he typed out his response. Cas still had another hour left of class before his break, his theology class only meeting on Thursdays.

He said my tie brought out the color of my eyes then he winked at me! He winked at me! Dean texted her, feeling frantic. His palms were suddenly sweaty again as he replayed Cas' words over and over and over again, trying to eek out any hidden meaning, any intent.

He wasn't good at subtle flirtations, he was more of an actions over words kind of guy. Sure, he could charm the pants off anyone — well, almost anyone — but that was just when all he was looking for was a one night stand. A wham bam thank you ma'am, or mister, before he never saw them again.

But Cas was different. He deserved more than a meaningless hookup in the back of some dive bar or dirty alleyway. He deserved something special and romantic, like something Dr. Sexy would come up with.

Like rose petals spread out on luxuriant silk sheets with candles lit around the room. Like breakfast in bed with heart shaped pancakes and a steaming mug of his favorite earl grey tea.

Or maybe a nice massage after a long bubble bath with one of those bath bomb things that Charlie was always raving about. Dinner at a fancy restaurant that served more than just burgers and fries before a walk on the beach to watch the sunset.

Cas deserved all that and more. But Dean had no idea if he could give him that.

The longest romantic relationship he had ever maintained had been in high school. Even then, in the two years he had dated Cassie, he had been an idiot, a stupid teenage boy who was too fixated on when he was going to get laid again to bother sending his girlfriend flowers on her birthday or taking her out to dinner.

But hopefully, Charlie could help, even if it was just to tell him that he shouldn't get his hopes up. He eagerly awaited her response.

When his phone dinged with her reply, he couldn't open the message fast enough. And what did you do??? Charlie's message read.

I didn't do anything, Dean admitted, biting his lip as he mentally kicked himself for just gaping like a fish out of water. He left before I could do anything.

Oh, Dean. 😔 Charlie replied, her disappointment palpable in the text. That little emoji she included just seemed cruel.

Fortunately, she made up for any insulting, pensive looking emojis by sending him instructions. Alright, here's what you're gonna do. Go get him some flowers and flirt that perfect ass of yours off.

Are you sure? Dean sent back, his brows knitting together in consternation. He didn't want to fuck anything up just because he read too much into an innocent comment that meant nothing.

Have I ever steered you wrong before? Charlie returned challengingly. A second later, she tacked on, Except for that one time. It's not my fault he turned out to be straight!

Alright, thanks, Char, Dean answered, chuckling to himself at the memory of the time Charlie had set him up on a blind date with a guy so straight it was painful. At least the chicken wings had been good.

His phone chirped a moment later with another message from Charlie. He smiled as he read it, I better be the maid of honor at your wedding.

Sure thing, kiddo, Dean shot back before pocketing his cell phone and checking the clock again. He still had forty five minutes until Cas' class ended, which should have given him enough time to run over to the florist on Third Street, especially if he disregarded the speed limit.

*        *        *       *       *       *

Dean made it back to the campus with ten minutes to spare, carefully tucking the bouquet of flowers he had purchased into the inner pocket of his jacket. He was careful not to crush any of the pristine petals as he hurried back into the main building and made his way back to his office.

He had been surprised by how busy the flower shop had been at ten a.m., finding a long line when he made it to Happy Petals. The line had moved along quickly enough, most people picking up online orders.

When it was his turn at the counter, he abruptly realized that he had no idea what kind of flowers to buy. The only person he had ever bought flowers for was his mother and he always got her the same thing, a bunch of sunflowers.

Luckily, one of the women behind the counter took him aside to help him put together the perfect bouquet. Apparently, there was an entire language of flowers, full length books detailing the different symbolic meanings of the flowers.

He had admittedly felt like a bit of an idiot until the woman, a brunette with kind blue eyes in a bright yellow apron, had patiently asked a few questions about who exactly the flowers were for. After Dean ended up rambling for ten minutes about how sweet and kind and mind-blowingly smart and handsome Cas was, she arranged a beautiful bouquet that was perfect.

Pale blue peonies made up the majority of the bouquet along with darker blue chrysanthemums. They were complemented by immaculate white roses and white lilies.

It was perfect for Cas. The blues reminded Dean of Cas' heavenly blue eyes while the white blooms were reminiscent of the wings of angels that Dean inexplicably associated with Cas.

He just needed to work up the nerve to give Cas the bouquet. It was much harder than he thought it would be.

He ended up pacing in his office, pausing every so often to glance over at the bouquet he had gingerly set on his desk as doubt started creeping into his head. What if Cas hated them? What if he thought Dean was an idiot for ever thinking their relationship could be anything more than platonic?

With a heavy sigh, he tugged his phone out of his pocket and snapped a quick picture of the bouquet. He sent the picture to Charlie, inquiring, What do you think?

Omg Dean those are perfect! Charlie announced a mere second later. She followed it up with a string of heart eye emojis and an encouraging assurance, He's gonna love them! Almost as much as he loves you 😜

You're an idiot, Dean informed her before closing out of their conversation, his phone buzzing with a new message from someone else. It was Cas.

Just finished up class, Cas informed him, his statement punctuated by a smiley face emoji. I brought leftover pizza if you'd like some. I'll be in my office.

Alright, now or never, Dean thought as he grabbed the bouquet from his desk. With a steeling breath, he left his office and started down the hallway towards Cas'.

He paused outside of Cas' door, taking a few deep breaths to brace himself for whatever might happen. Balling up his fist to let himself into Cas' office, he instructed himself, C'mon, nut up, Winchester.

He hid the bouquet behind his back as he strolled into Cas' office with a bright grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. Cas was sitting at his desk, hunched over his laptop as he munched on a slice of cold reheated pepperoni pizza.

He looked up as Dean entered the room, his face lighting up even as he continued chewing. Pausing in his typing, he waved Dean further into his office, gesturing at one of the two tufted barrel armchairs in front of his desk.

Cas set his slice of pizza down, wiping his hand on a nearby napkin, and stood. He rounded his desk to grab the box of leftover pizza from the coffee table by the old Chesterfield sofa beside one of his bookshelves.

He set his hip against the front of his desk as he set down the box of pizza, opening it to show off its contents. But for once Dean wasn't interested in food.

He made his way over to the front of Cas' desk, ignoring the confusion on Cas' face in favor of taking a deep breath and presenting the bouquet. He felt like a little kid offering a single daisy to his crush, the root still attached along with a clump of dirt.

"What...?" Cas murmured, trailing off as he looked up at Dean, his eyes narrowed in confusion. He glanced between the flowers and Dean's face, then back again.

"They're for you," Dean blurted without any further preamble. "I just thought... You deserved something nice, y'know? And I thought you'd like blue... The, uh, the peonies, I think, they match your eyes... I just— This was stupid, huh? I'm so—"

But before Dean could utter another word, Cas was shooting out his hand to wrap it around Dean's tie and yank him into a kiss. Any and all apologies that Dean had bouncing around his head were silenced as Cas' warm, slightly chapped lips moved against his in a wet glide.

He carefully set down the bouquet on Cas' desk before inching close enough to wrap his arms around Cas' waist, reeling him in closer. Cas hummed contentedly against Dean's lips as the other man enthusiastically returned the kiss.

Charlie was a freaking genius. Dean was sure to tell her that a few hours later.

And the tie? The one that brought out Dean's green eyes? He wore it on their wedding day.

Send me Destiel prompts!

[waynekelton]

Best Sports Games for Android

There was a time when sports games on Android were very dull and boring. As time passed, the quality of these has improved dramatically. Mobile gaming now rivals consoles and PC. There is a plethora of sports games on Android. Each of them is brilliant in their own right. But we are here to talk about the best sports games for Android. We have compiled a list of 21 games in sports genre that we think are the best. We have ranked them based on graphics, gameplay and mechanics. Most of you will probably agree with the list, if you don’t, well everyone is entitled to their opinions.

Best Sports games for Android are listed below

21. Score! Hero

Most of the football fans would be familiar with this game. This game works on the least capable devices and is one of the most popular because of this reason. Score Hero is not like your traditional soccer games. The game lets you control 1 player and that too only during key plays during a match. You can score directly from corners very easily. If you are not familiar with the gameplay, I suggest that you install the game and check out for yourself.

20. EA Sports UFC

If you are more into combat sports, then this one is for you. EA Sports is a reputed name in the gaming industry, and their UFC game for consoles and PC is fantastic. This game lives up to the standard of its counterparts on other platforms. The game features over 70 fighters, you are free to choose and train any of them. You can instruct your player to level up and rise through the ranks of Ultimate Fighting Championship. This game has a few in-game purchases, but the overall playing experience is outstanding.

19. Stick Sports Games

Stick Sports offers a multitude of games ranging from Cricket to football to tennis. It would be unfair to the other games from Stick if we picked only one of them. So we have decided to club all the games together and add them to this list. Of all their games, Stick Cricket Super League is the most popular one. They offer a total of 9 games out of which 5 are Cricket based. Apart from Cricket, Stick Sports also offers 2 Tennis games and 1 football game. You should check them out. Stick is a newcomer when compared to the giants like EA. It can definitely give them a run for their money when it comes to best sports games for android.

18. Skateboard Party and snowboard party

These two franchises are developed by Maple Media LLC and are both very similar to each other. As the names suggest, the games involve skateboarding and snowboarding. Both these games come with customisable controls, multiplayer mode, customisable outfits and many other features. You will unlock new maps and upgrades along your journey in the game. Apart from the gameplay and graphics, the fans enjoyed the background music a lot.

17. Badminton 3D

It’s now every day that you come across a Badminton game. There are 3 different modes that you can choose from, the career mode, Badminton League, and Tournament mode. Published by Giraffe Games, Badminton 3D is very popular, having over 10 million downloads. Fans loved the gameplay, but many were disappointed in the lack of upgrades that are offered. Overall Badminton 3D has a lot of potential and could be made better.

16. Virtua Tennis Challenge

Virtua Tennis Challenge is a tennis game developed by SEGA games. It is one of the oldest games that are still currently active. It was launched in 2012. The fact that it is old is a disadvantage too. It lags behind when compared to newer games. On the plus side, Virtua Tennis Challenge features more than 50 players and 18 stadiums all over the world. Several modes are available like exhibition, multiplayer, and quick match.

15. MLB Homerun derby 19

This one is a baseball game as you would’ve probably guessed from the name. I know baseball is pretty much an alien sport to not just us Indians but everyone else except the Americans. Still, this is an excellent game and deserves to be on this list. The overall response for the game has been positive, but few fans were disappointed by the bugs and glitches. Also, there have been complaints about the in-game purchases.

14. Super hit baseball

Another Baseball game in the list, but this one deserves to be here too. Super Hit Baseball has been developed by Hothead games. The controls are better in Super Hit baseball, and a lot of features are also present. You can play with your friends or any other player around the world. League Mode and events like Homerun Derby and Eliminator are also available. This game might get hard as you play if you don’t upgrade your player.

13. 8 ball pool

This one needs no introduction. It is one of the most popular, if not the most popular game in the sports genre. Not only in sports, 8 ball pool is a big player in gaming in general. It is available on multiple platforms other than Android. Developed by the legendary Miniclip games, 8 ball pool is also a legend in itself. You can play with your friends or random players online and level up as you play more. If you haven’t played this yet, you need to install it now.

12. Badminton League

The 2nd badminton game in the list. This one is from Redfish games and is different from the previously mentioned Badminton 3D. This game is played from the sideways perspective in contrast to the overhead view of the earlier one. The graphics are a little better too. The game also offers a simple UI, multiple game modes easy controls. The exciting feature of this game is the cool stunts that you can do while smashing and whatnot.

11. world cricket championship lite

The next two entries are the different variants of the same game. This one is the lite version of World Cricket Championship, which is developed by Nextwave Multimedia. This lite version is made specifically for the players who have very basic devices. It will run on RAM as low as 512 MB. It comes in 9 languages of which 8 are native Indian. Multiple modes are available, including different types of tournaments and test matches.

10. World cricket championship 2 – wCC 2

This one is the main version of the World Cricket Championship. It is the most popular cricket game on Android with over 50 million downloads. The game is a fan favourite and offers many features like player and banner customisation. Multiple game modes including test, ODI, ashes, blitz tournament are available in both single and multiplayer options. You can try out your favourite cricket shots including the Helicopter, the Dil-scoop and the Uper-Cut. You need to play this game if you call yourself a cricket fan.

9. Archery master 3D

There are not many archery fans around here, but this game contradicts that fact. Archery Master 3D has over 100 million downloads on Android. This game offers a realistic archery experience featuring stunning graphics, amazing animations and simple controls. There are picturesque locations including Deadly Desert, Pine Forest, Archery Field, and Rain Forest. More than 100 levels are available. You can also play in multiplayer using online mode.

8. OK golf

This is one of the simplest games that I’ve ever played. OK Golf has a slogan “It’s not real golf, but it’s OK!”, and it fits perfectly. You just need to aim, drag and release to shoot the ball. The only downside is that you’ll have to pay ₹220 to play this. After that everything else is paid for. But let me assure you that it’ll be worth every penny you spend. You play this anytime, anywhere when you are bored. It will be a fun experience for you.

7. Real racing 3

Finally a racing game, and the best one for that matter. Developed by EA, Real Racing is a legendary name when it comes to racing games on the mobile platform. This game lives up to the reputation of its predecessors. The most exciting part is that it features formula one too. Real Racing 3 has 40 circuits and more than 250 cars. This is one of the most popular games of all time, with over 500 million downloads. If popularity was the criteria, then Real Racing is the best sports game for Android.

6. NBA Live: Mobile basketball

EA Sports is the biggest name when it comes to gaming, everyone knows that. This is another classic by EA. This is the most popular basketball game, with over 50 million downloads. You need an internet connection to play. The gaming experience is terrific, with brilliant graphics and gameplay. You can create your own squad or choose to compete in live events that are happening all over the world. Basketball is one of the most popular sports worldwide, especially in the US. Some fans have reported crash issues though.

5. madden nFL mobile Football

Another one from EA sports. I know there are not many NFL fans in India, but there’s nothing wrong in trying out new stuff. There is a reason why this game is in our top 5, it is because it deserves to be here. You can play the season mode and take your team to the Super Bowl. There is an ultimate face-off with the NFL MVP Patrick Mahomes. You can also play as NFL legends and unlock the Madden Masters. Even if you are totally unfamiliar with the sport, this is an excellent chance for you to get acquainted with the rules.

4. Grand mountain adventure

This is one of the most unexpected entries in the list. Grand Mountain Adventure is a skiing game and a very underrated one for that matter. With only over a half a million downloads, more people definitely need to check this beauty out. Those who have played it absolutely adore this game. It has simple controls and an easy user interface. The graphics are not the best, but the game is so much fun that you won’t even notice. You can go on to explore 5 different mountains and ski-lifts are also present for transportation.

3. fIFA mobile

This one is for the football fans out there. FIFA is one of the most popular games in the PC and consoles. And now it is gaining traction in the mobile gaming market. The gaming experience will obviously won’t be comparable to other platforms, but it does not disappoint. With the addition of the UEFA Champions League, things have become more attractive. You can build your ultimate team from players from any league. 1v1 mode is also available in case you want to play with a friend. It has been downloaded over 100 million times. Usually you would expect an EA Sports game to occupy the top spot in this list of Best Sports games for Android. But sadly, the best that they could do is 3. Check out the top 2.

2. tennis clash

Tennis Clash is the best Tennis game on the mobile platform. It is developed by Wildlife studios and has over 5 million downloads. You can play 1v1 multiplayer matches of 3 minutes. Career mode is also available. The game features 3D graphics that make the experience surreal. You can play in courts all over the world, including France, Great Britain, Australia and many more. You create your own character and customise his gear like rackets and shoes.

1. Super Stickman Golf 3

Super Stickman Golf 3 So this is the one we’ve all been waiting for. The best sports game for Android is Super Stickman Golf 3. Golf games are becoming increasingly popular on mobile platforms and this one also follows suit. Developed by Noodlecake Studios, SS Golf 3 is a bit different than the other golf games mentioned in the list. The game features more than 20 courses and 35 characters that you can choose from. This franchise is reputed in making golf games and SSG3 lives up to the reputation. Play it yourself, and you’ll understand why this game is at the top of the list.

Coming to a conclusion. These are our picks for the best sports games for Android. Do you agree? If not, let us know in the comments what changes would you make.

The post Best Sports Games for Android appeared first on GAMES INDIAN.

Best Sports Games for Android published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[nyrator]

also I beat Mario Odyssey this morning and by beat I mean the final boss

spoilers under cut of opinions of stuff

so yeah ended up enjoying it more than when I first did once I shook the Hat in Time mechanics from my muscle memory (A Hat in Time is still a game I enjoyed better but this game definitely itches my love of collectathon games)

At just over 600 Moons (which I still call stars), got every star possible before the final boss I believe, then yeah. About 9400 coins by the end, all of which I spent on clothing (I have them all unlocked as well as the Dark and Darker Sides of the Moon, but haven’t been to them yet)

Some worlds were ehh, some were nice, most Moons/Coins I managed to find by myself, but after a point when I only had like a small handful left I’d always look at a guide for the general location (I refused to spend money on Toad for some reason and didn’t realize Amiibo would also do that), a lot of times I was always missing some obvious set of three purple coins somewhere near the beginning/end. Some were obvious, some were downright dirty.

So yeah, bosses were pretty easy (though I did die a bunch due to dumb stuff but yeah, patterns were easy). Was disappointed in the Final Bowser fight being the exact same as the Cloud fight, which was only hard until I realized the timing of the hit-block-dodge-attack thing in the third phase, and going into the final fight with that knowledge made it a joke. For some reason, I did not expect to Capture Bowser (to be fair it was pretty obvious I just don’t think ahead in these kinds of games), that was fun and the music was nice.

The ending was amusing, Mario about to kiss Peach, Bowser gets up and punches him in the face, then they fight on the moon for her affection with flowers, and she just steals Mario’s ship and leaves them both behind (Mario gets on of course but poor Bowser you gotta like Bowser)

Spent all morning just enjoying the Mushroom Kingdom (ALSO SO HAPPY THE SHOP HAD A WALUIGI COSTUME, “It’s barely used!” was a great description, I’m full on Waluigi from now on except for the Moons that require outfits, before that I was Painter’s Hat+Resort outfit)

also I should go back and finish Mario 64 someday, it’s that game I only played at neighbor’s house because no nintendo consoles until GameCube.

things I didn’t like was a lot of the instant death stuff (which mostly is just me needing to get good but still), the minigame second moons (mostly just painful slog but I guess reasonable), and the awkwardness of the controls. I still don’t know how to move around properly without pressing the wrong button (aka usually ground pounding instead of diving/long jumping), and yeah AHiT has got the whole complicated jumps programmed into me so I keep trying to backflip-throw cap-dive onto it kind of combos and they usually end up being button mashing that almost works but I lose control and they fail (notably my original solution to getting a Moon in Luncheon, where I put two Goombas together, got a Hammer Bro, jumped on the Goombas, jumped out of the Hammer Bro, threw my cap at the wall, jumped on it, and tried reaching the platform above). I almost had it my first try but I jumped the wrong direction and missed the platform, and every future attempt failed (then I realized cannons unlocked and you just shoot yourself over it and land on it)

But yeah, overalll...

Cap Kingdom- Small, but best aesthetic and music, favorite world I think, just wish it had more to it.

Cascade Kingdom- Okay/10. Basic green starting world, not much to say, not a fan of jungle/dinosaur aesthetics personally

Sand Kingdom- Kingdom that got me feeling the game, spent a looot of time exploring it, even though it was just a desert. It had sheep and that was nice, one of the better worlds for sure.

Lake Kingdom- Worst Kingdom in the game, so disappointing after Sand Kingdom. I figured it’d be a half world because of the split path thing, but then Wooded absolutely blew it out of the water (no pun intended), but yeah, tiny, mostly just swimming a small area, and could’ve easily been combined with the other water world.

Wooded Kingdom- One of the better worlds, also had the best music as well in certain sections (not as enjoyable as Cap but still great). Main complaint is that bottom layer of the woods, though I might’ve missed a beat of dialogue that explained it, since I had no idea it was there without a guide (especially since I’ve died several times falling off the side trying to do certain platforming on spinning wheels near the secret garden). I liked the extendo guys though.

Cloud Kingdom- Just a boss world from what I saw.

Lost Kingdom- Hooo boy, this is when it started to get a little frustrating, but not too bad. Caterpillars were fun, probably best capture thing. Too much poison/10, poison is awful and instant death.

Metro Kingdom- Mannn that Sim language. Was enjoyable, definitely a weird aesthetic clash (which is intentionally most of the game but still), and also Mario in a tank in a stormy city under siege is something I never expected from a Mario game. Though it also had my least favorite minigame so far... jump rope. By some miracle I got to 103 and never again.

Snow Kingdom- Small, basic, overworld was nice but average. The racing second round was hell.

Seaside Kingdom- Up there, definitely much better than Lake Kingdom and should’ve been combined with it, but mannn it is just hard to explore all that water and probably the one I used a guide the most with because of how many small missable things I missed (though only three coins, right in the sea in a depression near the volley ball court). Also, volley ball was hell as well, just not as hell as jump rope.

Luncheon Kingdom- this was a painful kingdom. A lot of this was just me “okay I’m done get me out of this pink lava hell hole”, at first it was okay to explore but after the midboss it was ehhh. Also too bright and shiny.

Ruined Kingdom- unexpected/10. Just another boss world, but mann seeing a Skyrim-esque dragon in a Mario game attacking you like the FFIX scene with Kuja against Brahne was definitely a thing. The boss refight just adding ice physics and different shaped lightning that’s hard to avoid on ice was very blehh.

Bowser’s Kingdom- ... completely unexpected/10. Did not expect a Japanese castle setting, but I enjoyed the change of pace and loved how it was still treated as a travel destination in game. Birds were fun but very painful on certain segments with metal bouncing you backwards. Felt like more of a classic 3D Mario world too (or Galaxy/3D World anyway), with the separated platforms and linearity and stuff.

Moon Kingdom- It’s the moon. Pretty bland with empty space jumping, no idea how much I missed on here but I got every Moon on the list up to like, the one on the support beams in the chapel, so yeah. Also the one moon on the cannon is like the one moon I felt was super unfair to find but oh welll, thank you guide.

Mushroom Kingdom- Great throwback level, fun little area with tons to explore, that 2D Mario section with the fading 2D segments can go to hell though- Specifically, that area with the rotating segments because using a control stick to 2D platform and having it alternate between “holding right will keep you moving clockwise” and “stick moves in the direction you’re moving, aka if you’re on the left side, you have to press Up to go right/clockwise”. I’ve died on that more than I should have and it was bluh.

in short Cap is the best and Lake is the worst

also yeah

this game has a Waluigi costume

so far I went back and got all the Moons in Cap (except the Art one) and Cascade, the races I feel are going to be a nightmare soon but yeah. Also worried about how much money grind I might have to do to get all the outfits (they all seem doable since there’s like five pieces left for me to get I think, the Gold/Metal sets and the Skeleton, but the freaking Skeleton outfit is 9999 and that’ll be the thing that kills the completionist in me)

speaking of completionist, no idea how to feel about buying moons or if there’s a limit, but there doesn’t seem to be so hm

ALSO I LOVE HOW PEACH HAS DIFFERENT OUTFITS IN HER JOURNEYS TO THE KINGDOMS, her Cap outfit was fantastic and I hope she’s still there/is able to wear it because it is a very nice outfit good job being fashionable Peach

also I have to wonder still

where is Luigi

is he on the dark(er) side(s) of the Moon

I will find out myself once I collect everything and hit up the dark side segmentss

also once I’m done with everything I’m going to get a friend to co-op with me and see how bad the co-op is because I can’t imagine how it works

[itsbenedict]

have i gone down this rabbit hole before? did i see a post on the subject that i forgot wasn’t something i came up with? idk

but Gerudo Town in the new zelda is a weird place, and it looks like they have really strange gender politics, as a side effect of, like... okay, only women are allowed in here, that’s a brute fact about the setting, but obviously nintendo isn’t going to get explicit about gender politics in their mass-market E for Everyone game and tell us why, so we’re forced to just sort of draw conclusions from how you’re treated when you break the rules.

if you’re wearing normal outfits, the guards won’t let you inside. you’ve got to be wearing the Gerudo Vai armor set to pass as a woman, and if you change clothes in town, they immediately kick you out. that’s pretty straightforward.

the weird thing- usually written off as a bug, or some failure to implement a line-of-sight detection system- is that if you go up to the main gate, where two guards are staring directly at you, and change into the vai outfit... they’ll let you in. even though they just watched Link, a guy, change clothes right in front of them. there is no way they are fooled by this. so what gives?

i think gerudo gender politics are in an awkward place between hardcore radical feminism and liberal feminism, here. where radical feminism positions both men and masculinity as irreversibly evil, the source of all gender dysfunction in society, Gerudo Feminism takes one and not the other.

specifically: they refuse to tolerate the male social role. they seem to have some kind of oppositional gender essentialism going, but identify masculinity as a performance rather than an identity. they have pretty rigid, binary ideas about what gender is, with little tolerance for blurring the lines- but gender is for them a verb, wearing the skin of a noun. in Gerudo Town, it is acceptable to be a woman, which here means wearing women’s clothing and performing a feminine presentation- and unacceptable to be a man- even if they’re aware of who you are. you can change clothes and get kicked out over and over again without anyone deciding “oh, we know you’re a voe now, we’re not going to let you back in.” the crime was being a man in Gerudo Town, not pretending to be a woman in Gerudo Town. they fully expect you to be wearing the vai outfit, and are happy to let you do as you like as long as you’re performing the correct role. why would the guards bother stopping you at the gate, if by changing your gender performance before you go inside, you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to do?

there’s plenty of room for this to be a fucked up society to live in, entirely outside of the question of “hey, is there actually anything wrong with being a man?”. for example- if we assume there’s no transfemme utopia thing going on, and the Gerudo are all presumably cis women (hence their need to journey outside to reproduce)- it’s gotta suck for trans boys born Gerudo. being told that who you want to be (are) will get you kicked out of not just your home, but your whole nation? not great. and... for that matter, what do they object to about maleness? it’s clearly not the classic stuff- being violent or domineering or entitled or emotionally closed. they clearly have no problem with celebrating those things in their highly-regarded military caste! all that’s left, it seems, is harmless aesthetic stuff, betraying a not-particularly-healthy view of gender.

some question marks: is there a racial element here? like, i can easily see them “busting” some hylian guy who thinks he’s figured out the kayfabe, that he can put on a dress and go around hitting on the girls and being very loud and not at all pretending to be a woman aside from the costume. but i would guess they wouldn’t kick out a particularly boorish cis lesbian for behaving in exactly the same way, much less a Gerudo. or... would they? do they lack a norm for “catching” obviously “fake” vai? would they hypocritically accept sex/race as proof of gender? what are the rules, and how do they handle edge cases and poorly-performed femininity?

nintendo really failed to give us more than a cardboard cutout of a women-only society with Gerudo Town- it’s hard to square the circle here. the few details we’re given, plus the weird way it comes across mechanically, raise a lot of interesting questions about how this works.