#i have trouble focusing on any of my interests or any tasks and it’s making me so depressed

[a-walking-fandom-reference]

not having my adhd meds for like practically half a year is really fucking me up…

[throneofsapphics]

the moth and the flame part one: the hold

Nessian x f!Reader

warnings: delusional reader & nesta, drinking

summary: after meeting Nesta in a bookshop, you find the darkest parts of yourselves bonding with each other.

a/n: the first few chapters will center around Nesta before Cassian comes in! this has been my brainchild for a little while and I hope you all enjoy <3 if anyone wants to be added to a tag list please let me know!

series masterlist

Sharp breath fogging the air in front of her, Nesta set off for one of the only tasks, outside of imbibing, that didn’t quite feel like torture. Precise footsteps, steady and calm, took her down the sidewalk, hanging to the shadows, to her sanctuary. At the current hour she’d rarely seen another soul and each time she did it tended to sour her day. Not that it took much to do that recently.

Even with new Fae senses, she could tell when something was different in a space she frequented. Well, a tavern might be another story but this tiny bookstore tucked away in a far corner of Velaris wasn’t. Any other day she may have spun on her heel and stalked out, but the new Sellyn Drake novel released this morning and she’d kill to get her hands on it. Whoever this was, they did have an interesting scent. So warm and inviting it sickened her, perhaps even made her murderous.

A light headache set in. She glanced at the clock. 11:45. Today she’d make it to noon without a drink, that was good enough for her.

First, the book. Second, wine.

One foot in front of the other, crossing the floor with a dancer's grace, something years of separation from lessons couldn’t get rid of.

Eyes zoned in on the table, one copy left. A lucky day for her. Mouth curved up at the corners.

She was so focused on her target she didn’t notice you, but you didn’t notice her either, both of you set on a collision path.

Like right out of a Sellyn Drake novel, static zapped as your fingers touched, two hands retreating back, two bodies tensing, two heads snapping up and eyes locking.

Nesta was quickly enchanted by your touch - as chaotic as it was. Next, the small apologetic smile on your lips. You were speaking - words, fuck. She’d completely missed that.

“It’s all yours,” you repeated a tad slower, concern edging into your voice. Anyone else she would’ve chewed out for that. A better person would’ve let you have the book. At this moment, Nesta wasn’t a better person.

“Thanks,” she muttered and snatched it, spinning on your heel. A sharp intake of breath behind her.

Nesta paused, loosening her body and relaxing her stance, and looked over her shoulder, “what’s your name?”

You answered, and she repeated back, dragging out the last letter, watching you flush pink. A small smile on Nesta’s lips - the kind that screamed trouble, “I’m certain we’ll see each other around.”

“I certainly hope so,” you countered, that surprise she’d heard earlier replaced with an attitude that thrilled her. A little spice. Nesta figured out your scent - cloves, nutmeg, and honey. Her new favorite. She liked you, you’d have fun together.

-

Over the following days, thoughts of you consumed Nesta. Rolling over on her bed, the scents of various males lingering, she thought of how she’d get rid of that before she had you over. Because Nesta would have you. She needed you like oxygen, like books, like wine.

You didn’t know it yet, but you needed her too. If you didn’t, Nesta would make it so you did. She could be called many horrid things, but when she wanted something, she didn’t hesitate or hold back. Whatever you wanted, she would make it happen for you. You had her in a chokehold.

Looking back, she could pinpoint the moment when her obsession truly began - as soon as she identified and committed your scent to memory. Nesta hasn’t been able to put honey in her tea for far too long.

-

You thought of the blue-gray eyed beauty. Eyes so cold and harsh, but maybe you were imagining it but hadn’t they softened a tad for you? She was familiar, but you couldn’t quite place her. You supposed the place didn’t matter, not as long as you could get her next to you, above you, under you, down the aisle - you cut your mind off, thinking you’d gone way too far ahead for someone you had a thirty second encounter with at a bookshop. Even Sellyn Drake would think it was a tad ridiculous, that or he’d eat it up. Maybe you should pitch the idea and inspire his newest best seller.

Still, all you could think of was how she softened for you. She must have, you were certain of it now. The female followed up her harsh and probably standard remark with something sweet like asking your name. She wanted to know who you were, just as you wanted to know her now.

It took you a few minutes to compose yourself after meeting her. By the time you had, she was gone, and you realize you still didn’t know her name. Cursing, you sprinted towards the doors, whisper-shouting a sorry to the shop owner, even though nobody else was inside.

A flash of golden brown hair around the corner, perhaps a quarter of a mile down the street. It might not even be her, you frowned. With your luck, you’d chase all the way down just to terrorize a random citizen of Velaris.

Glancing around to check the street was empty first, you whispered a quiet ‘come back,’ a soft plea to the mystery female, the mother, and the universe to bring her back to you.

‘Too much,’ the annoyingly logical part of your brain said, but they were easily ignored and even easier to drown out.

If it came to it you could go back to that same bookstore, at the same time, and perhaps run across her again. On the other hand, you could let her find you. She seemed like the type of female who enjoyed a chase, and like a resourceful one. Oryou were reading too many books and your mind came up with outlandish fantasies. Not that outlandish, some of your friends had told you particularly tantalizing stories and you felt an inherent desire to live out one of your own, no matter how it might hurt you in the future. It would.

[fangsyouverymuch01]

Just friends

Summery: The hero of Baldur's Gate greatest battlefield is now drunkenly returning home from the tavern because your connection to the arcane world is dying, and it has been for months. Adding to it, is your unresolved feelings from a certain vampire you've sworn to forget.

Rolan and Lia, aiding you in your search for answers, are determined to divert your mind from troubles. Unbeknownst to you, this night is destined to change everything.

Pairing: Astarion x f!tav, Astarion x f!reader , Rolan x reader

Warnings: Fightning, sort of depressed reader, drinking, Astarion being a prick

Tags: Slow burn, friends to lovers

Note: This took way too long to write, and tbh I'm scared to publish it. Had a hard time coming up with a plot that would make sense (and yes this is the underdark/menzoberranzan fic)

Nevertheless, hope you enjoy and stick around for more parts in the future.

In front of you is an array of literature varying from books, scrolls and notes. Just like yesterday and the day before that. Picking up yet another scroll and unrolling it, the words painted on it turns into a blur. Arcane symbols dance before your eyes but the contents of the page escapes your fleeting mind and it drifts to past memories of Moonrise Towers. 

“...And all I had to do was not fall for you… Which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart,” he pauses, searching for the right words to continue. “You’re incredible. You deserve something real. I want us to be something real.”

Stunned by his confession, your own voice momentarily failed you. The Elf spoke again, revealing a truth that cut through your heart like a blade.“Being close to someone - any kind of intimacy - was something I performed to lure people back for him.”

Astarion further explains his train of thought, you could see his mouth moving but not a word reached your ears. Sadness, confusion, happiness and anger; the emotions mixed and collided within you. Was your relationship built on lies? Had you somehow forced him to sleep with you? It was all so much.

“I don't know how else to be with someone, No matter how much I’d like to.” 

You’d decided to remain just friends, and it had felt like the right choice. Liberating even, seeing Asterion grow into a person no longer controlled by fear. But now, you wallowed in selfishness due to your aching heart. Now it is the thing that keeps you from focusing on the task ahead. Now it is the thing keeping your from nights embrace, your body twisting and turning when the moon shone through the curtains. Now it is the numb feeling whilst faceless men sing your name between your legs. The decision, made with the intention of preserving your friendship, now felt as liberating as a chain strung to your neck. 

Moreover, you haven't seen him in weeks -  or could it be months? The passage of time blurs and certainly eludes you. Yet, effortlessly, his image flits into your head - bouncy white curls, piercing crimson eyes, a sharp nose and that godsdamn smirk. Interchangeable in your memory - forever young - he remains a vivid specter that refuses to fade.

Breaking your train of thought, there is a tap on your shoulder, a figure crouching over you to peer at the discoveries revealed in the scroll. 

“Found anything of interest?” Rolan spoke, eyeing you from above. 

“Ehm no, just lost in thought.” you replied, attempting to shake off the lingering memories that had clouded your focus. 

“Well, neither have I.” he puffed out a breath of air, “My best bet is to return to the House of Grief for more answers so I could study the mirror you spoke off.”

“I’m not sure they’d warmly welcome me back after my latest visit.” you let out a strained chuckle, struck by a memory of  Viconas lifeless person as Shadowhearts struck the merciless final blow to her chest. 

Since your time in the House of Grief, your bond with magic has slowly dwindled. The once-familiar currents of arcane energy now seemed distant. Magic had been an extension of you, and its absence felt akin to a cruel mutilation and you were desperate to feel magic coursing through your veins once more. Your desperation had led you here - Sorcerous Sundries, for any clue or hope that you might become whole again.

"Anyhow, have you heard from Gale yet?" you inquired, seeking a distraction from your thoughts.

"He deemed Waterdeep fruitless in our search and should be arranging plans to continue in Neverwinter as we speak," Rolan replied, his eyes pacing the floorboards beneath him. "Maybe we should pause our search for today; the sun is setting, and you, my friend, are in desperate need of a drink." His suggestion hung in the air, a respite offered amidst your futile search for answers. 

You had no energy to protest, you truly wanted to go, you really did. But what you needed was to dive into the mountains of untouched texts sprawled in a ring in front of you. 

Lazily tracing the arcane figures, partly lost in deliberation you answer “Thank you for the offer but I shouldn’t, you go and I’ll stay here.”

"Come on, just one drink. It won't solve all our problems, but it might provide a momentary escape," he insisted, recognizing the heaviness in your gaze. "We can resume our search tomorrow with clearer minds. Trust me, it's what you need right now."

A defeated sign escapes your lips “Fine, one drink but no more than that”. 

Laying a victorious touch on your arm, the tiefling grinned, "That's the spirit!" Helping you up, he proceeded, "The Elf Song in an hour; I need to run something by Lia first." With determined steps, he led you away from your search for answers in the pile of books. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The warm light emanating from the Elfsongs' painted windows cast a glow over your figure as you linger outside the bustling door. The sound of laughter and clinking glasses weave together, that should beckon you inside but it doesn't. Nothing seems to pique your interest these days. The hero of Baldurs Gate was but a mere shell of what bards sang about and the thought of being recognized, of eyes filled with anticipation that lingers for extraordinary tales to be told - you can't stand it. 

Adding to your dread, are the invasive questions about your companions - about Astarion. Head spinning and lips slowly drooping to frown, you instinctively recoil from the entrance. 

With a heavy sigh, you reach into your bag, fingers wrapping around a familiar flask. The cool metal brings a small comfort, and in contrast your throat burns as you gulp down liquid courage. 

Stealing yourself against the prying questions and the weight of everyone's expectations, you push open the tavern door, stepping into the warm embrace of the tavern, where Rolan and Lia await, immersed in their own stories. You offer them a weak smile as you approach the booth. 

“There you are, I almost thought you wouldn’t show but I’m glad to be proven wrong.”

“Come, sit!” Lia urges, patting the cushion beside her. As you settle into the booth, you can't help but notice the curious eyes around you.

Gods no.

Instinctively, your finger twirls and you mutter a spell to cast disguise self, only to be reminded of your uselessness. A tinge of frustration tightens your jaw, quickly masked by a forced smile. You divert your gaze, hoping to shield yourself from the unwanted attention. 

“What’s your poison for today?” Lia asks, a mischievous smile spreading from cheek to cheek. Her breath smells of alcohol; Lia and Rolan had clearly begun drinking ahead of you. Not that you could judge them, having indulged in your trusted flask outside the tavern minutes ago. 

“I’ll have what you’ve had.”

“Coming right up!” Lia responds, her enthusiasm undeterred. She signals the bartender, and soon enough, a trio of drinks arrives at the table. 

Rolan is the first to grip the glass and then clear his throat, “To us,  and Gale - and hope that tomorrow will give us more answers.” 

One drink turns into four drinks, and at some point, you lose track of both time and the units you’ve allowed to warm your gullet. Honestly it’s quite funny, why did you worry so much before? Silly you with silly thoughts! Almost as silly as Rolan’s eyes focused on your neck. He looks funny with his eyebrows furrowed, and a chuckle escapes your lips at the sight.

“You’ll get wrinkles if you keep staring at my neck like that, Rolan.”

“I did no such thing!” he retorts as a flush creeps up on the tiefling's cheeks.

Lia heartily laughs, swaying a bit, and offers her hand to you. “Join me for a dance, will you?” The music in the tavern entices you and despite the blurred lines of inebriation, you take Lia’s hand and step into the lively dance floor.

Lia practically dragged you through the crowded tavern, Rolan following closely behind to his best abilities. The dance floor was filled with twirling bodies, in rhythm with the bard's melodies. Pulling your arm up, Lia spins and chuckles as you reach the bards scene. Rolan, with a playful twinkle in his eyes, reaches the two of you and joins the dance. The world seems to sway with the music and for the first time in a long time, a genuine smile spreads across your face. 

As you moved to the music, you sensed Rolans’ proximity. His hand found its way to the small of your back, guiding you through the intricate steps of the dance. The unfamiliar warmth of his hand against your skin was a stark contrast to the memories of Asterion's cool touch.The bard's music kept on playing, the tunes bouncing off the plucked strings, the odor of alcohol on his breath, and hot uncontrolled bodies clashing against your person -  Gods, its too much. You can't stay a minute longer or you might suffocate. 

“I need some air,” you mumble and offer an apologizing smile, excusing yourself as the dance continues without you. 

“Wait!” a muffled voice calls out, but you pretend that you’re too far off to hear. 

Faces blurred into a sea of strangers, and the lively chatter became an indistinguishable hum. Your breath quickened, and you couldn't shake the feeling of faceless men and women judging your every step. Because now they know - they know that you were no hero of Baldur's gate, just another drunk who couldn’t even cast a simple spell to disguise herself from embarrassment. 

Pathetic. 

As you stepped out into the cool night air, the contrast between the warmth of the dance floor and the refreshing chill outside sent shivers down your spine. Crouching down you plant your hands to your knees, trying to catch your breath and ease your mind. 

A moment later, the tavern door swung open abruptly, an curly haired man emerging as he wrestled with another almost feral one. The creature thrashed and snarled at the curly haired man as he strained against the frenzied movements. Caught off guard, you stood up in the shadow beside the entrance, your breath hitching again as you observed the scene unfold. 

Seizing the opportunity to make sense of the situation, you assertively approached the struggling men, dagger clutched and ready strike if needed. The curly-haired man's eyes flickered toward you and your gaze met his.

Deep crimson eyes, ivory curls, and are those fangs?

No, that can't be.

"Astarion?" you uttered, your voice a hushed whisper that sliced through the night, your eyes fixed on the elf's face in utter disbelief. There he was, right before you.

Astarion's attention shifted to the rabid man, deftly maneuvering to subdue him. He restrained the creature, halting any further erratic movements. With precision, Astarion extracted a flask from his belt, causing the man's struggles to intensify. Despite the increased resistance, Astarion's actions remained calculated and exact.

With the man momentarily contained, Astarion secured him in place with one hand, the other retrieving a flask. He raised it to his mouth, a subtle glint of fangs emerging as he skillfully removed the lid with his teeth.

"Hello," the rogue spoke, pausing to inject the man with the unfamiliar substance. The feral struggles ceased, and Astarion continued, his tone now imbued with a nuanced warmth, "darling."

Stunned you remain constrained where you stood. This is real, Astarion is here after days, weeks and months of him plaguing your thoughts every waking moment. Your mind races, trying to process the surreal present. A rumble in your stomach seems to pull you out of your trance, nausea spreading in your throat. 

Keep. it. down. 

“Care to help or do you intend to stand there and just gawk?”

Once more the door beside you swung open, a tall figure emerges with swaying strands of long hair catching in the wind, intent on reaching the paralyzed man and Astarion. 

“We said no killing, remember?" he spoke.

"Oh, my apologies, brother. I must have forgotten our little agreement when I was wrestling the feral dog whilst you were nowhere to be seen.”

At that moment, you recognized the man - Leon. His expression remained stoic, though a flicker of irritation crossed his features. "Your theatrics aren't amusing, Astarion. We need to keep them alive; this is not the time nor place for you to display your unique methods."

You finally had a surge to act, fumbled in your bag and searched for any potion or scroll that could help. A glass vial of what seemed to be a healing potion met your fingers, and you pulled it out, unscrewing the cap with shaky hands. 

“Here take this,” you called out, holding the potion aloft, offering a forced smile amidst the charged atmosphere. 

As you step forward to give Leon the vial, Rolan stumbles out the tavern door, tipsy and eyes searching for something in the night. You’d completely forgotten about Rolan and Lia, they’d probably been worried since you hadn’t returned. His eyes widened at the chaotic scene before him, and he instinctively moved to stand in front of you, a protective gesture. His hand flickered with a small flame, ready to defend against any potential threat. 

"What in the hells is happening here?" Rolan demanded, a mix of concern and bewilderment in his voice.

Before anyone could respond, Astarion let out a small laugh, one that you couldn't seem to decipher the meaning of. What was so funny? Rolan certainly wasn't amused, and the flame rose higher from his palm at the elf's dismissive laugh. Leon's gaze moved to Rolan, his hands raising in a gesture of peace, showing that they were no threat to him or you.

“Got yourself a knight in shining armor, have you now?” Astarion remarked, a sly grin playing on his lips.

Knight in shining armor? The words stung, and a spark of anger flared within you. Rolan didn't need to save you nor did you want him to. Opening your mouth to retort, Leon interjected, his voice firm and commanding.

“Astarion, don’t,” Leon snapped at him, a stern edge to his voice. He then looked directly at you, his expression softening. “We don’t want to fight you. Let's find a quieter spot to talk, and we’ll explain everything.”

You nodded, the tension in the air making it clear that this was not the time for confrontation. Rolan, still wary but trusting your judgment, lowered the flame in his palm. With cautious glances exchanged between the group, you began to move away from the chaotic scene, guided by Leon's lead to a more secluded spot where answers awaited. 

[zer0pm]

Imagine being an undercover agent who once infiltrated Umbrella and grew close to Luis Serra. You were forced to separate from him, never telling him why and broke his heart in the process. When you thought that you have finally moved on, you find him again. Tied up in a sack.

“What’s in Spain?”

“My home. A village, to be exact. And remote. The people there could use people like us to help them. No one would be able to find us there. Not even Umbrella. There, we can disappear.”

“…I’m sorry, Luis. I can’t.”

.

“You seem distracted.”

“What?” you blink, immediately biting your tongue after. But it was too late, you were caught red-handed.

“Case in point,” your partner Leon sighs. “So, what is it? What’s on your mind?”

You reply with a frown, “I’m wondering how deep these tunnels go. Must have something important down here for these… villagers to go through the trouble of trying to lock it up inconspicuously.”

It was such a blatant lie, the blond’s stony expression showed that he wasn’t buying it at all. But Leon doesn’t say anything. Instead, he leads on with his gun and flashlight pointing forward in the darkness. You were relieved that he didn’t press further.

But he’s also right. You were distracted and on a mission where a steady, focused mind is imperative at all times. Mulling over the past on things that were best laid forgotten is meaningless and offered no benefit to the task at hand. So why bother even allowing it to weigh so heavily in your thoughts?

Because what are the odds that this is the same place that he mentioned? The one that he wanted to hide away with you within? Given everything you’ve seen so far, with all these monsters roaming about, you sincerely hope not. Surely this is all coincidental and that he is in some other part of Spain.

.

“You mentioned that you grew up in Spain, right? What was it like there?”

“Oh? For once you don’t want to talk about work or whatever ingenius discoveries I’ve made recently? Pero, you actually want to engage in small talk? It must be a sign!”

“Answer the question or I’m requesting a department change.”

“Calma, calma. I only tease. Hmm… The weather can be unforgiving, especially during the rainy season. The people live day-to-day on whatever resources that can grow or be found under the constantly harsh conditions. Sickness often spreads and the treatment is… archaic.”

“This all sounds awful.”

“It wasn’t all bad. Everyone in our small community had someone to support them. I had my grandfather. He helped shape me to be the man I am today. A very handsome man at that, with both brains and brawn. In case, you didn’t notice already.”

“He must be very proud of you.”

“I hope so...”

“You don’t keep in touch?”

“So interested in my life story all of a sudden. And yet I still know so little of yours.”

“What’s there to know? There’s not much to tell.”

“See, that is where you’re wrong, my friend. A key to a great story is time to gather your thoughts. And I wouldn’t mind making time to listen to yours. How does after work sound? There’s an excellent coffee spot around the corner.”

“…You know what? A drink sounds great.”

.

You should have rejected him then and there. The task was only to gather information and find evidence of the production of biochemical weaponry. Forming attachments was not part of the job. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to deny him then, convincing yourself that it was necessary to reinforce your cover. You were seen as just a researcher forging deep interpersonal relationships with your fellow coworker and not at all a spy for the government sent to infiltrate a pharmaceutical giant for secrets that could topple a nation.

No one suspected a thing- not Umbrella, not your handlers, not even him. It worked. But it didn’t make you feel any less guilty about it, especially when you developed real feelings for him and he reciprocated them earnestly and affectionately. At first, you meant to play along with no intention of taking him seriously. The Spanish researcher expressed himself as a man who talks a big game but settles down or folds over for no one. He had a reputation within the labs as a serial flirt after all.

However, the day he casually asked you out, he surprised you. Beneath all the playful, charming remarks and practiced come-hither smirks belied a genuine romantic. He was a man passionate about his work, driven by a real desire to help others. He cared about other people, evident at how intently he listened to you when your shared bits of yourself to him. Granted, much of what you said then was fabricated to uphold your secret identity, but he showed unwavering interest in you and the image you created as if you two were only people in that coffee shop that mattered. After one date came another, then another, then another until you lost count. You fell for him and you fell for him hard. And before you knew it, at his suggestion, the two of you moved in together.

It was a dream. A wonderful dream. You couldn’t remember the last time you lived a normal life, let alone someone to come home to. It was such a domestic feeling. To go wit him to work by day then go home together by night to fall asleep in each other’s arms and do it all over again the following morning. To fall into a routine was strange and something you grew affectionately accustomed to. And it was all because of him. He made you feel safe. He made you feel loved. He made you feel normal. But it was only a dream. And all dreams eventually come to an end.

It got to a point where you dug yourself so deep that by the time you had to shed your identity and leave him, it left scars that neither of you would ever recover from.

.

“¿Qué? What do you mean, you can’t?”

“I can’t go to Spain with you.”

“Is it the location? We can go anywhere you want,l, but we have to make sure we hide our tracks from Umbrella-”

“I mean that I can’t go with you. Anywhere. Period.”

“¿Mande? Why.”

“I want to tell you, I really do.”

“…Tú no me quieres.”

“No! Of course I do.”

“Then why? Why can’t you run away with me? I can protect us, you just have to trust-”

“This isn’t about trust.”

“Then tell me what it is!”

“…This isn’t going to work. I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“L-Lo siento, mi corazon. I didn’t meant to shout. We can work through this-”

“Just please remember that what we had was real.”

“¡Amor!”

“Goodbye, Luis.”

.

That was the last time you saw him. You broke his heart, the pieces of yours shattered away with every step that you took away from him. Revisiting those memories all caused a single tear to fall down your cheek.

You have to move on. It’s been long enough. It was all to protect him, you told yourself countless times. In your line of work, attachments just do not (and cannot) stick. And you stuck with that choice without an ounce of regret. You only hope that wherever Luis is now, he’s happy and safe. That alone kept you going.

When you finally broke yourself out of your daze, you found yourself facing a wall. You quietly berated yourself for your absentmindedness again and were grateful for the darkness. Luckily, your fellow agent didn’t notice you or your inner turmoil, something else catching his attention at the end of the tunnel.

“Over here. I found someone.”

Your head snaps towards Leon’s direction, your heartache momentarily dulled and set aside. “Ashley Graham?”

“Don’t know yet,” Leon replies, crouching down. “Here, hold the light.”

You hurry over to the blond’s side, taking the flashlight from him and directing it towards his finding. A large sack, big enough for a person, was flailing about. The sound of muffled struggling reaches your ears. Leon unties the top of the thick cloth before pulling it down. You almost didn’t believe what, or rather, who you were seeing. But your eyes were blown wide in recognition before Leon rips the tape off of their mouth. There was no mistaking those rugged features, that dark hair, and those grey eyes that you fell in love with helplessly so long ago.

It was him. The man that haunted your every thoughts and dreams. The man that dug his way into your heart and made a home there.

Luis Serra Navarro.

“Oh no, not you.”

The man merely gazes back at you, momentarily stunned before chuckling in that husky voice of his that you thought you’d never hear again.

“I’ve missed you too, mi corazon,” he says. His eyes glide over your form lasciviously, uncaring that you (and your partner) can see him staring shamelessly. He looked and smiled at you as if the years spent apart never happened. “Te ves bien.”

You had so many questions.

.

.

.

A/N: Part Two can be found right here~

[bumblingbabooshka]

Context: Transporter Accident Species Swap Kathryn. C'mon. Patreon | Ko-fi

Episode where Janeway and Tuvok have their species swapped by an accident or entity and while everyone's figuring out how to undo it they expect Tuvok to be the one acting different but he's generally the same* meanwhile Janeway's newly Vulcan brain is terrorizing her with nightmares and violence 24/7. *He has trouble with his human body more than any emotions. Like, he keeps burning himself on things he'd normally touch without thinking. He can't stay up and stay focused as long as he normally would (two days straight) and he isn't as strong as he was before. Anyway, Janeway's sort of suffering with both. She has telepathic abilities that would be normal for a Vulcan of her age and this along with the intrusive thoughts and overwhelming emotion are...a lot. Tuvok: Have you tried meditating? Janeway: I'll rip your throat out. Sorry. Sorry. I've tried. Tuvok: Allow me to assist you. Janeway and Tuvok have a conversation about how she's not a bad person and Tuvok has to struggle with and control these sorts of intrusive, violent thoughts all the time. What makes someone a bad person? To what extent are someone's thoughts 'them'? What does a 'true self' mean? Basically Tuvok's like "These Human emotions have literally nothing on me" meanwhile Janeway's getting the shit kicked out of her - DAMN! These Vulcan emotions have hands! They also retain their personalities because they're still the same people. Janeway doesn't suddenly become stoic & logical and Tuvok doesn't suddenly become more outgoing. Tuvok also does not immediately turn into 100-year-old dust because it's a star trek episode and certain things are handwaved. In the end Janeway's like "Well that was absolute hell but in some ways it was interesting to get an up close and personal look into the Vulcan mind and I feel closer to my good friend Tuvok!" whereas Tuvok learned that he actually likes rum raisin ice cream. The B plot of this episode is that there's a certain light that keeps flickering in sickbay and everyone keeps passing off the task of fixing it so eventually the doc tries to fix it himself but he ends up causing a black out (which effects the A plot) and at the very end of the episode Harry's like "THERE. It's fixed."

[neon-junkie]

Tech would be one of those guys who is down baaaaaaad for his wife. He would worship the ground that you walk on. A Morticia and Gomez kind of love.

He's smug as fuck about you, but not to an overbearing point. Cocky remarks whenever you do something incredible, even if that's simply breathing. "I did not romantically pursue her purely for her ethereal appearance," he'll gloat with a raised brow, and an expression that reads 'duh!'

Always has his hand around your waist when you're out in public, a silent reminder that you're his; yet, Tech isn't worried. He knows your loyalty lies with him, and any fool who attempts to hit on you is only going to be shot down. And on the odd occasion that said person is persistent? Tech can hold his own in a fight, but the stranger doesn't need to worry about him - it's you that'll be throwing the punches.

Those bloody knuckles? Tut tut. "Darling, I told you to ignore him. Idiocy is not a trait of yours, so why bother attempting to stoop to his level?"

At least you'll be getting extra kisses tonight - you know, on top of those kisses that Tech gives you every single night. Bare chest to bare chest as Tech gawks at you. His eyes are sleepy, almost permanent red indents around them from where his goggles sit, but Maker forbid that he shuts his eyes without spending (at least) twenty minutes fawning over you, only for you to greet him in his dreams.

Breakfast in bed, a foot rub, if you need it. "Is there anything else that you require, my dear?" Half of the time, you don't need to ask; Tech knows what you want, what you need. He knows your body language, your facial expressions, the nervous twitch to your fingertips, and how your chest rises and falls in tense situations. Tech is there to catch you before you've even started falling because, whilst his mind and sight is on the task at hand, his heart is focused on you, and silent alarm bells blare in his head whenever you're in the range of trouble.

On those odd occasions that you're not with him, all Tech does is talk about you. If only he had a mute button - hah! his brothers wish he did. Still, talking about you beats his information dumps. At least you're interesting.

Tech is so proud to be with you, "I do not wear this band on my finger for any odd reason." He just wants to show you off to the world. How did he, a clone - not just a clone, but a defective one, a bad member of the batch - manage to pull you? What sort of Gods have blessed him? Who does he need to thank over and over for such a blessing?

Maybe that's why he makes it clear how much he adores you. Maybe that's why he doesn't fight his inner demons at night. You love him, flaws and all, and if anything, you've helped him overcome his insecurities; a receding hairline, lack of social cues, bad sleeping habits, only eats when he feels like he has to, and so on. You viewed him like this - this, in a derogative tone - and saw something in him that he doesn't see in himself.

And for that, Tech worships you. He adores you. He's so proud of you. There isn't a single soul, a being in any galaxy, who is luckier than Tech, purely because he gets to love you, and be loved in return.

[astroyongie]

Why Do I Behave This Way ? - Psychology Answers

Note: we are finally to start another topic, this time with why do I behave this way. for this section we will go through the following questions: “Why Can't I Focus?”, “I Am Getting Old, Why Do I Keep Wanting Things?” “Usually I Am Well Behaved.. So Why Did I Lost My Temper?” “Why Do I Lie To People When They Ask Me Something?” “I Have Phobias: wWhat Can I Do?” “Last Week I Did Something Dangerous.. Why?” “Why Do I Keep Watching The Same Shows’” “Why Do I Embarrass Myself In Front Of Important People?"

“Why Can't I Focus?”

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

Everyone knows what attention is but few really knows how it works

In psychology, attention refers to the cognitive process of selectively concentrating on a discrete aspect of information, whether considered subjective or objective, while ignoring other perceivable information.

There’s several types of attention such as: sustained, selective, divided and alternating. 

The information received from our senses passes through the brain's processing system, but is weakened so that it can pass through the system at an unconscious level

Which is the reason we are able to do things without fully paying attention to it or through mechanical actions. Yet our subconscious is still able to visualize the entire information, it just processes it to keep the most important information. 

For example in some cases of Autism Spectrum Disorder, their brain/subconscious is unable to filter the information which makes them sensitive to stimulus and more aware of their environment. 

To resume it all, our attention is a dynamic and competitive system. During the processing of information, our attention amplifies some information while inhibiting others. 

To the question, why can't I focus, can have several answers. Anxiety and other psychological disorders or symptoms can have an impact on the brain processing system,  but the most common known impact is screen time 

The problem with screen time, such as phones or laptops or tv, it's the fact that they put all the things that attract attention together in a practical package, and add some addictive brain chemicals for fun.

One can be more sensitive when looking through a phone. you are receiving a text and your brain’s attention focuses on that.  After the text, you will see other notifications and this process is proven to have the same effect than opiates drugs have. 

Of course the process of focusing can also have other origins and will depend on your health and your environmental factors around you. 

If you are interested in more of these topics you can check the works of Broadbent, Cherry, Skinner, Treisman and Helmholtz as they have the best insight on attention and perception theories in psychology and neurology.

So what can we do?

The first thing we can do is try to understand why it is causing us to lose focus. Is it the screen time? Is it an underlying medical condition? Is it your emotions? are there any other bio-environmental factors? by pointing out what is causing the trouble, we can start working on it

We humans, we possess a limited quantity of attention and thus it's important to try and care for it the best we can

Some solutions can be used to try and regain focus on your everyday tasks such as: limiting screen time, using a reward recompense system with your causes of losing focus, setting boundaries and limits to when and where to use screen time, helo through medication and/or therapy depending on each one case 

You can also re-learn to stay focus. For that you can start doing simple activities like: studying (without screen time), reading, practicing yoga or meditation, playing board games or doing cognitive exercises specialized in attention. 

Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself 

[oatlystrawberryicecream]

In terms of canon Jason gets the short end of the stick in pretty much everything. He is just a player in other people’s stories for the most part. His entire stint as Robin of course but also Battle for the Cowl, Death of the Family, Gotham War, and yes even Under the Red Hood. All these (and many more!) feature Jason but they revolve around someone else. Under the Red Hood is at the end of the day a story about Batman. Just like in 9th grade english class: what is the conflict?Batman is trying to figure out how to stop the Red Hood from doing whatever it is he is going around killing people to do. Batman is the one whose actions decide how the story ends. It’s Batman’s story. Now for Jason comics: What is one of many common complaints about n52 rhato? Jason has to steal other people’s friends to prop him up. And yeah, this sucks, DC mangling other well established characters until they are suitably friend shaped to pair with Jason is not it. Another glaring problem (not just for n52 rhato) that doesn’t get talked about as much: Jason needs a villain. Or at least something more defined than the standard opposition to violence against innocents as a raison d’être. Every single thing they put out about him is so disconnected and hollow because they don’t know where he’s going or what he fights against. A long term villain gives him something to rally against and a way to show his ideals and convictions. It gives him a way to learn about himself by letting him see how he acts in various situations. I am pretty into Task Force Z. It works for me because the villain is someone we aren’t very familiar with so we can’t be sure what will mitigate the threat or where the plot is going. Don’t run it into the ground by bringing him back to exhaust every possible plot point. I like things that are underutilized better because you have the door open to bringing it back later on. Speaking of that, the All Blades don’t get enough love because the only thing they kill is a generic villain who don’t show any personality and we don’t get to see do much damage to stuff we are invested in. (I might be misremembering a little about the Untitled here because it has been a while since I read rhato) Black Mask is not Jason’s villain. He went down easily as part of Jason’s larger goal, he is not good enough to give that much trouble. I am of the opinion that DC should kill the Joker, or at least put him on the shelf for a couple decades. There is an element of personal bias there but for the most part his character is stale and overused. Every single thing he does makes me roll my eyes. I especially think that the Joker interacting with Jason is a dead end of a plot point. Unless Jason kills him I don’t care. Status quo is god. DC editorial don’t have the resolve to weather the storm and commit to change. Far too focused on immediate sales and short term interest when they could use some innovation. I suppose Batman could be his villain, it is certainly warranted. But I can’t figure out a version of it that works for me, Jason wants so many of the same things for Gotham that Bruce does. Them punching each other over differences in philosophies and the way they manifest in the field is not something we need more of.

[cantorpike]

Dear Friend,

When I was a teenager, I told my dad I wanted to be an actor. In response, he gave me the only piece of advice he ever offered me—“Learn to play the accordion.” And he was serious. He said, “You can always make a living with an accordion.”

Because I ignored his advice, I never found out if he was right. Instead, I’ve lived 80 creative years pursuing acting and photography, and working as a director and poet.

If I had listened to my father, and hadn’t done any of those things, chances are you wouldn’t have recognized my name and you wouldn’t be reading this. Now that you are, I’d like to ask you to consider what I have to say. I reach out to you as someone who is troubled to see the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians continue apparently without an end in sight.

In fact, there is an end in sight. It’s known as the two-state solution—a secure, democratic Israel as the Jewish State alongside an independent Palestinian state. Even Israel’s nationalist Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, has come to see this as the shape of the future. The problem is how to reach that end point. It’s something we should be concerned about—not only as world citizens, but as Americans.

You might recall the episode in the original Star Trek series called, “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield.” Two men, half black, half white, are the last survivors of their peoples who have been at war with each other for thousands of years, yet the Enterprise crew could find no differences separating these two raging men.

But the antagonists were keenly aware of their differences—one man was white on the right side, the other was black on the right side. And they were prepared to battle to the death to defend the memory of their people who died from the atrocities committed by the other.

The story was a myth, of course, and by invoking it I don’t mean to belittle the very real issues that divide Israelis and Palestinians. What I do mean to suggest is that the time for recriminations is over. Assigning blame over all other priorities is self-defeating. Myth can be a snare. The two sides need our help to evade the snare and search for a way to compromise.

This is the message that Americans for Peace Now seeks to spread. I’m a strong supporter of APN and the work it does. It is a leading voice for Americans who support Israel and know that a negotiated peace will ensure Israel’s security, prosperity, and continued viability as a Jewish and democratic state.

The Middle East is only getting more tumultuous. The upheavals throughout the region show that what happens in the Middle East can’t help but affect us in the United States. This year, we’ve seen oil prices rise sharply and America become involved militarily in Libya. The cost to American lives and our economy continues to rise at a time when unemployment and deficits are sapping our country’s strength.

“If we can solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, then that will make it easier for Arab states and the Gulf states to support us when it comes to issues like Iraq and Afghanistan. It will also weaken Iran, which has been using Hamas and Hezbollah as a way to stir up mischief in the region.”

Those are the words of candidate Barack Obama in 2008. And although they’re just as accurate today, time has not stood still.

We’ve also seen a marked increase in violence: a Jewish family was murdered in the West Bank and a woman was killed in a bus bombing in Jerusalem. A rocket attack on southern Israel from the Hamas-controlled Gaza Strip resulted in a school bus being hit and a teen died of his wounds. Israel, in turn, has retaliated. We need strong American leadership now to pivot from the zero-sum mentality of violence to an attitude that focuses on the parties shared interests: security and prosperity.

If you’ve learned something from this letter, I’ve succeeded in my preliminary task. Now I ask for your support to continue APN’s educational efforts in this country—to spread the message that there is a peace solution, and to let Congress and the White House know it’s preferable for America to be part of the solution than to be drawn into another conflict.

There is a sizable number of influential voices in Israel saying the same thing. In April, a group of 50 prominent Israelis, including the former heads of the Mossad (Israel’s CIA), the Shin Bet (its FBI), and the military, issued a call for two states for two nations. Their plan includes a Palestinian state alongside Israel with agreed-upon land swaps. The Palestinian-populated areas of Jerusalem would become the capital of Palestine; the Jewish-populated areas the capital of Israel.

These experts are not naïve. They know that even if the Palestinian pragmatists of Fatah reconcile with Hamas, there will be extremists who will try to sabotage any future peace deal. They know how to deal with violent extremists. These people were entrusted with Israel’s security and are saying that the work they did alone isn’t enough to bring Israel security. We cannot know yet what this unification of Hamas with Fatah means and we have to wait and see what emerges. Regardless, the principle of establishing two independent states, one Jewish and the other Palestinian, is still critical in this region for both Israel and the Palestinian people. That is the goal, to support the rational and moderate course.

Their action plan echoes the 348 senior Israeli reserve army officers and combat soldiers who came together in 1978 to urge their government to sign a peace treaty with Egypt. They formed Shalom Achshav, Israel’s Peace Now movement which APN provides nearly 50 percent of their funding.

Peace Now’s activities and programs—such as Settlement Watch, the ongoing monitoring of settlement construction on the West Bank—keeps peace on the world’s agenda. Peace Now gathers and publishes detailed information on settlements and is widely cited in Israeli and international media as the foremost authority on settlements. Peace Now is likewise well known for mobilizing demonstrations and organizing grassroots pro-peace activities. Innovations include an interactive online map of the settlements, “Facts on the Ground,” also available as an app for iPhone and iPad developed by APN applying Peace Now’s courageous work.

Like those Israelis who issued the peace plan, the members of Peace Now have their boots on the ground. They serve in Israel’s military reserves and see every day what life is like without a negotiated peace with the Palestinians.

That’s why I’m a supporter of APN and Peace Now.

I hope you’ll join me, and lend your voice to the influential and credible peace lobby that exists here as well as in Israel. Please give the tax-deductible contribution you can afford.

Dare I say it? It’s the logical thing to do.

Leonard Nimoy

5/11/2011

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 6: Confession

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

The drive to Hank's farm was quick. You focused on the road, Jake being quiet, allowing you to mentally prepare for what might await you. The silence between you was filled with an unspoken understanding of the task ahead.

Upon arriving, Hank was already waiting, anxiety clear in his posture as he led you both to where Mildred was. The cow was indeed in distress, her discomfort evident as she lay in the barn.

You reached into your bag and pulled out an examination glove, making your way towards Mildred. Carefully, you inserted your hand into the cow's birth canal to assess the situation.

"Jake, could you find the small set of chains in my bag and bring them over here, please?" you requested in a composed manner.

Jake nodded, quickly moving to your bag and rummaging through it to locate the small set of chains you requested. Finding them, he hurried back to your side, holding them out to you. "Got them," he said, his tone reflecting his eagerness to assist in any way he could.

You took the chains from him with a nod of thanks, then carefully attached them to the calf's legs, which you had found to be positioned awkwardly. "We need to correct the position and gently pull during the contractions," you explained to Jake, who watched your actions with focused attention, ready to follow your lead.

As you both waited for the next contraction, you positioned Jake so he could assist with the pulling. "When I say now, pull steadily and gently with me," you instructed, ensuring he understood the importance of timing and gentleness in this delicate procedure.

The next contraction began, and you both pulled in unison, guided by your expertise. It was a tense few minutes, filled with the sounds of Mildred's discomfort and the focused breathing of you and Jake. Finally, with a concerted effort, the calf began to emerge more fully.

"Keep going, just like that," you encouraged, as Jake's efforts synchronized perfectly with yours. The teamwork paid off when, moments later, the calf slid free, landing softly on the straw-covered barn floor.

Immediately, you checked the calf to ensure it was breathing and healthy, while Jake watched in a mixture of awe and relief. "You did great," you said to him, your eyes meeting his in a moment of shared triumph. Jake's smile was broad, his earlier concern replaced with the joy of the successful delivery.

"We did great," you corrected, your gaze warm.

"Much appreciated, Doc," Hank expressed.

"It's no trouble at all, Hank."

Then, Hank faced Jake, offering his hand in gratitude. "Thanks to you as well. Are you in training? The Doc here is top-notch."

"No, Hank, he's not in training. This is my husband, Lieutenant Jake Seresin."

Hank's eyes widened in surprise. "I knew you were married, Doc, I just hadn't met him before. And a Lieutenant?"

Jake extended his hand, shaking Hank's. "I'm a fighter pilot in the Navy."

Hank's handshake was firm, his expression shifting to one of respect and interest. "Well, I'll be. A fighter pilot, huh? That's impressive. We sure are glad to have you here today. Couldn't have done it without you both." He looked between you and Jake, a genuine smile creasing his weathered face.

Jake smiled back, his posture radiating pride. "Glad to be of assistance. It's been years since I last helped deliver a calf."

Hank regarded him with a curious expression.

Jake, noticing Hank's puzzled look, explained, "My family owns a ranch back in Texas."

"Ah, yes! I remember Doc mentioning that."

Securing the back of the truck, you announced, "Alright, I'm all set."

"Thanks again, Doc. I'll drop off that meat by week's end."

"You're welcome, Hank. I'm looking forward to it," you replied, the thought of the upcoming exchange sparking a bit of excitement. Turning to Jake, you asked, "Ready?"

"Yup," he confirmed.

Both of you climbed into the truck, ready to head out.

As you drove back, the silence between you was comfortable, reflective.

"You've done good, Y/N," Jake spoke up, shattering the quiet.

"Thank you," you replied, appreciating the acknowledgment. "It means a lot, coming from you," you added, the road unwinding ahead as you steered the truck back toward home. The early morning light played across Jake's face, highlighting the sincerity in his eyes.

"I mean it," Jake continued, turning to face you. "Seeing everything you've managed to do here, on your own... it's incredible. I'm proud of you, Y/N."

"Out with it, Jake," you said, recognizing the familiar signs of hesitance in him.

"Well, it's just… what if…"

"What if we didn't use protection this morning and I found out I was pregnant?"

Jake's question hung in the air, a palpable tension building as he awaited your response. The suddenness of the topic shift caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily speechless. His eyes searched yours for any sign of reaction, vulnerability etched into his expression.

Your mind raced, processing the enormity of his question. The thought of pregnancy, with its implications and responsibilities, was overwhelming, yet it wasn't without a sense of something profound, a potential new beginning that could redefine everything.

"Jake, that's… a lot to consider," you started cautiously, choosing your words carefully. "But if it should ever happen, I'm sure we'll figure it out."

You steered the truck down the driveway towards home.

"Maybe this means you'll consider moving to San Diego," Jake blurts out.

You brought the truck to a halt and turned to face him. "You're serious about this?"

"Yes, Y/N, I'm completely serious."

"Why? You want me to just sit at home barefoot and pregnant?"

Jake's expression softened, sensing the tension and concern in your voice. "No, no, that's not what I meant at all," he hastened to clarify. "I just thought… with a baby, it might be good for us to be together, and San Diego could offer us more opportunities, especially with the support system the base provides for families."

He paused, gauging your reaction, wanting to ensure he was communicating his thoughts clearly and without presumption. "I don't expect you to give up your dreams or career, Y/N. Far from it. I admire everything you've accomplished here, and I'd never want you to feel like you have to choose between your life here and a life with me."

Jake took a deep breath, his commitment evident in his eyes. "I want to find a solution that works for both of us, a way for us to be together without either of us losing a part of ourselves. Maybe you could continue your work from San Diego, or we could figure out something else. I'm just asking you to consider it, to consider us having a future together where we both can thrive."

Tightening your jaw, you diverted your gaze back to the road ahead and resumed driving towards the house, processing the conversation in silence.

The silence in the truck grew heavy, filled with unspoken thoughts and emotions as the landscape passed by. Jake respected your need for space to think, understanding the weight of the decision and the complexities it entailed. The journey back to the house seemed longer than usual.

Jake finally broke the silence, his voice gentle. "I know it's a lot to think about, and I didn't mean to spring this on you like this. I just... I can't bear the thought of being away from you again, not now when things are changing for us. But I also don't want to uproot you from a life you love. It's just... if there's any chance we could make it work, I want to explore that, together."

He reached for your hand, seeking a connection, but you pulled away.

You needed a moment to gather your thoughts, to navigate the surge of emotions his words had unleashed. The silence that followed was not cold, but rather filled with the weight of consideration, of futures yet to be decided.

You took a deep breath, then turned to face him, your expression a mix of determination and vulnerability. "Jake, I appreciate what you're saying, and I love you for wanting to find a way to make this work. But this isn't just about us anymore. There's so much at stake here, and any decision we make has to be right for everyone involved, not just us."

You stopped the truck again and looked at him, searching his face for understanding. "I've built a life here, a career that I can't just pack up. And it's not just about the farm or my practice; it's about the community, the bonds I've formed. It's about being a part of something bigger than myself."

Jake's expression softened, the depth of his feelings for you clear in his eyes. "I understand, and I'm not asking you to make a decision right now. All I'm asking is that we consider all our options, together. Maybe there's a solution we haven't thought of yet. I just... I need you to know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I can't be without you again, Y/N."

Your heart swelled with a mix of emotions—love, fear, hope—as Jake's words echoed in the quiet between you. The vulnerability and earnestness in his plea struck a chord deep within you, reminding you of the depth of your connection, the resilience of your bond despite the trials you'd faced.

"Jake. What happened on the last mission?"

Jake's voice held a heavy note of seriousness. "We almost lost Rooster and Maverick on the last mission. If I hadn't been there, they wouldn't have made it back."

The weight of Jake's words hung in the air, a palpable reminder of the risks and sacrifices inherent in his profession. The names Rooster and Maverick weren't just call signs; they were individuals, friends, who had come dangerously close to paying the ultimate price.

Your heart clenched at the thought, the reality of Jake's daily life as a fighter pilot crashing into you with renewed force. It wasn't just about the thrill of flying or the pride of serving his country; it was about the lives at stake, the comrades who relied on each other in the skies where the margin for error was nonexistent.

"I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you," you said softly, reaching out to touch his arm, a gesture of support and an attempt to bridge the gap his confession had laid bare. "You carry so much on your shoulders."

Jake looked at you, and in his gaze, you saw the toll it took on him, the blend of duty and burden. "It's part of the job, but yeah, it was close—too close. Makes you think about what's important, you know?"

A moment of silence lingered.

"That's where the second award came from, isn't it? You shot down another plane."

"I had no choice. But the truth is, Y/N, we're not getting any younger."

"Jake. Why didn't you reach out to me?"

"I wanted to. I actually had my cellphone ready, but I wasn't sure if you'd answer."

"Jake, seriously! Didn't you notice anything about the house? Everything I did was for you. Even after everything we lost. Every single day for four years, I was hoping you'd call or get in touch for something more than just financial matters."

Jake's expression shifted as the weight of your words settled over him, a mix of realization and regret washing across his features. It was as if he was seeing the house—and, by extension, the last four years—through a new lens, understanding for the first time the depth of your commitment and hope.

"I… I didn't see it," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. The remorse was palpable, not just for his oversight but for the years of missed connections and unspoken words. "I was so wrapped up in my own world, my own pain, I didn't see the life you were building for us, for me. I was blind to the signals you were sending, the effort you were putting in to keep a place for me in your life, in your heart."

Gently, you reached out and caressed his face. "Jake, after we lost the baby, you were all I longed for. Every day, I hoped you'd come back, take me into your arms, and just hold me while we both allowed ourselves to grieve together."

Jake's eyes closed momentarily at your touch, a shiver running through him as if the warmth of your hand was melting barriers long-held. When he opened them again, there was a rawness, a vulnerability that hadn't been there before. "I should have been there," he whispered, the pain of regret evident in his voice. "I should have come back to you. We should have faced that loss together, mourned together. I left you alone in your pain, and for that, I am deeply, profoundly sorry."

You redirected your focus to driving, pressed the garage door opener to lift the door, and steered the F-250 into the garage. Both you and Jake exited the vehicle, securely shutting the doors behind you.

Heading towards the back of the truck, you reached in to grab the bucket, only to feel Jake's arms encircle your waist. He gently pushed your hair aside and planted a kiss on the nape of your neck. You closed your eyes, savoring the warmth and tenderness of his touch.

Whatever had happened on that last mission, it really scared your husband. This wasn't the cocky and confident Jake you remembered.

The realization of his vulnerability, the depth of fear that last mission had instilled in him, made you see Jake in a new light. The man who had always seemed unshakeable, who flew into danger with a grin and a dare, was showing you his fears, his human side that few got to see. It made you love him even more, if that was possible, knowing that he trusted you enough to let those walls down around you.

"You don't have to carry it all by yourself, Jake," you whispered, leaning back into his embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your back. "Whatever it is, whatever happened, we can face it together. You're not alone anymore."

His hold on you tightened just a fraction, a silent acknowledgment of your words, of the comfort and strength you offered simply by being there. "I know," he murmured into your hair. "That's what I'm starting to realize. Being strong doesn't mean you have to be alone." He brought his other hand around and started to unzip your jeans.

He slid his hand into your pants and started to rub your pussy.

"Oh the gods," you moaned as he started to finger you.

You could feel him smile into your hair as he continued to finger fuck you while kissing your neck. You felt his cock grow harder against your ass, and he slipped a second finger into your pussy, causing you to gasp in pleasure and drop the bucket back into the truck.

"I need you, Y/N," he begged.

"Jake," you gasped in pleasure as his fingers continued to fuck you.

"Tell me you need me, Y/N. I need to hear it."

"I need you, Jake," you barely whispered.

"What did you say?"

"I need you, Jake," you said gasping. "I need you. I've always needed you."

He took his fingers out of your pussy and pulled down your jeans and panties down to the floor. Pushing you up against the back end of the truck, he placed a leg in between yours. "I need you to spread your legs for me, darlin'."

You spread your legs further apart and felt his cock at the entrance of your pussy from behind.

"I need you to push back on me darlin'." You pushed back on him and felt his cock enter your pussy. You moaned as he slowly started to move in and out of you. He grabbed your hips and began to thrust into you harder.

"I'm going to cum soon, darlin'. I want you to cum with me." He brought a hand back around to the front of your pussy and started to rub your clit. "Cum for me darlin'."

You started to moan loader as he rubbed your clit faster. He brought his other hand around and started to play with one of your nipples.

"I want you to cum all over my cock, darlin'. I want to feel your pussy clench my cock." He kept rubbing your clit and pinching your nipple. "Cum for me darlin'."

You started to moan louder as you felt yourself closer to cumming. You could feel his cock twitching and getting bigger as he got closer to cumming too.

You couldn't hold it in anymore as you yelled out his name. He kept rubbing your clit and pinching your nipple as he started to cum inside of you. He let out a deep moan as he let out all of his cum.

He kept his cock inside of you as he slowly stopped cumming. When he was empty, he slowly pulled out of you and kissed your neck.

You heard him zip up his pants and then felt him pull up your pants and undies from the floor. He gently pulled them over your thighs and butt as you still held on to the truck to prevent yourself from falling. He then carefully turned you around to face him. Your breathing still fast and your face flushed. He gently zipped and buttoned your jeans.

Catching your breath, you turned to face him, the intensity of the moment still lingering. "I think we need to talk," you blurted out, the urgency and weight of your words hanging between you, signaling a need to address the underlying currents in your relationship.

Tags:

@buckysteveloki-me @bellyliveslife @tgmreader @callsign-barbell @86laura11 @dizzybee03 @kmc1989 @guacam011y @nerdgirljen @hookslove1592 @dempy @djs8891

[iovetecchou]

uhm for your prompt event, i’d love to read something with sigma maybe a mix between fluff 3,5,6 and 10? I haven’t requested it until now bc i couldn’t decide and i thought it might be to much or idk. But here goes nothing. don’t feel pressured to use all of them :)

prompt: "Just pretend to be my date."

“Wait! don't pull away... not yet."

"I think I love you."

GN Reader.

1.3k Words.

You had been staying with your good friend, Sigma at his casino. You were enjoying your time there, it was nice to get away from your own hectic life and just let loose. But there was just one small problem….

There was this guy at the sky casino, you noticed him when you first arrived. At first, you thought nothing of it when he would come up to you and compliment you, or overstay his welcome while you were just trying to gamble all of your money away. You were polite at first, not wanting to start any trouble. But, it was getting out of hand.

The man was persistent, he wouldn’t take no for an answer when you told him you weren’t interested in going out on a date with him, and when he asked why not? Well… “I’m here with my boyfriend!” The second the words spilled past your lips, you knew you were fucked.

“Oh yeah? Then where is he, hm? I haven’t seen you with a man the whole time you’ve been here, beautiful.” You cringed at the compliment he passed your way, this man was truly annoying. “If you don’t believe me then… I’ll go grab him!” You spat out, with no clear plan in your mind whatsoever. Oh shit, this is bad! you quickly turned on your heel, stomping off to where you were staying in Sigma's private suite.

You barged through the door, startling poor Sigma who was sitting at his desk. He was trying to get some of his work done for the evening so he could relax. He had been so stressed out recently, and you definitely weren’t oblivious to it. “Y/n!? what’s the matter, you look troubled.”

Sigma said, quickly sitting up from his chair before making his way in front of you. You were pacing back and forth in the suite, causing the already anxious man to become even more unsettled. “There’s this guy, Sigma… and he won’t leave me alone! He keeps pressing me, asking me to go out with him but I’m not interested. So I did something stupid! I told him I was here with my boyfriend- but I don’t have a damn boyfriend!”

You stopped in your tracks, causing a frantic Sigma that was following close behind to collide with your back with a soft thud. He quickly apologized as you did a one-eighty. Now face to face with the nervous man. And that’s when it clicked in your head. “Sigma! That’s it…

"Just pretend to be my date!”

His eyes widened tremendously, and his eyebrows were practically touching his hairline. “What?! Pretend to be your…” he paused for a moment, putting actual thought into it. If it meant that awful man would leave you be then… maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea at all. There was just one small problem.

Sigma had a massive crush on you. He was too nervous to tell you, convinced you would reject him if you knew. So pretending to be your boyfriend…? It was almost like a cruel joke, but if it was your sake then… “That’s a terrific idea actually, y/n. Where is this man now?”

His demeanor had completely changed, he seemed to be focused now. Treating this like a very important task, making you smile to yourself a bit. “He’s in the lobby, quick, let’s go!” You rushed out, grabbing Sigma's hand as you exited his suite. Making your way to the lousy man that was standing exactly where you left him minutes ago, what a weirdo. You held your head high as you approached the dude, pulling Sigma flush into your side. Wrapping your arm around his slim waist for show. The poor man couldn’t help but flush at your actions. He was already so excited from you holding his hand, but this? Ah, his heart was beating a mile a minute.

“Here! this is my boyfriend, are you convinced now? I would really appreciate it if you could leave me alone.” You spat out, gripping Sigma's waist even tighter. Causing him to squeak out a small yelp. The annoying man wasn’t buying it, Sigma looked way too nervous it was hardly convincing.

“I don’t believe you for a second, this guy looks too nervous to be your boyfriend!” Shit! mission failed, there had to be some way to come back from this. Sigma quickly shook himself out of his frazzled thoughts. He needed to do this, for you. He hated the fact that you were being harassed by this fowl man in the confines of his own casino.

His demeanor changed once more, back into a more calculated and sharper version of himself. “Oh really? Then I guess we’ll just have to show him. Isn’t that right, darling?” You whipped your head to the side, eyes blown wide as you met Sigma's gaze. He was smiling down at you softly, inching impossibly closer to your face, and- oh my god. He’s about to kiss you, isn’t he?

Sigma brought one hand up to cup your cheek, and the other one snaked its way around your own waist. Before you could process, Sigma’s lips were pressed against your own. He was kissing you with so much passion, you instantly reciprocated, with no hesitation. Who would have thought Sigma would be such an amazing kisser? He tilted your face to deepen the kiss, Sigma opened his eyes while his lips were still intertwined with yours. He shot an icy glare towards the crummy man whose jaw was completely on the floor now but this public display of affection. I think he got the message now.

Sigma pulled away from your lips slowly, nestling his face into your neck. He began to feel you tugging back, so he quickly whispered,

"Wait. Don't pull away... not yet."

Your face was on fire. You had never seen Sigma in this light before, and you sort of liked it. Your heart fluttered in your chest, giving him a short nod in response. He placed a chaste kiss on the side of your neck before pulling away from you slowly. His one arm still safely wrapped around your waist. The sorry man was nowhere to be seen now, he must have felt pretty stupid after watching that whole intimate interaction.

You beamed up at Sigma, smiling widely. “We did it! well, you did it, I didn’t know you had it in ya, Sigma!” You giggled slightly, moving your hand that was resting atop his waist up his back. Giving him a few reassuring pats, causing the poor man to stiffen up. Just like that, your usually flustered Sigma was back. His hand around your waist was trembling now.

“It was a team effort, y/n. I’m just relieved that you won’t be harassed by that lowly man any further. If he approaches you again, let me know. I’ll have him removed from the premises immediately.” He said that last part sternly, pulling his lips into a tight line. You giggled at how fast he could change his demeanor, ah he really was endearing. “Sigma... you’re really something else… you know that?

“I think I love you!”

You blurted out, offering him the biggest smile you could muster up.

Sigma.exe has stopped working.

He was completely frozen in place, Sigma wasn’t even blinking! You waved your hand in front of his face a few times but to no avail. Oh shit! You broke Sigma. You were panicking slightly, maybe you shouldn’t have-

“I-I think I love you too… y/n,” he whispered out, nervously looking at his feet. His heart was pounding so harshly in his chest, and his hands began to sweat a little bit. He was startled when he felt you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a loving embrace.

“I’m so glad to hear that, Sigma! What do you say we go back to your suite and relax for a little, hm? I think I owe you, big time."

i had so much fun with this one! another anon requested the “Pretend to be my date.” prompt with a nsfw prompt, so i’ll make a separate part for the spicy stuff! thank you so much for your request! (:

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E9 Reaction

- Oh boy. I am not liking that opening shot that makes Pabu look like Tantiss 😭😭

- It’s so cloudy and dark—it must be the fall season going into winter

- Wrecker AND Crosshair making lady friends…I see what you’re doing there Jen

- “Does it matter? We’re not handing her over.” The 👏🏻 character 👏🏻 growth 👏🏻

- “Can’t be prepared if we don’t know what we’re dealing with” Hunter is fully back in sergeant mode

- Also this is the first time we’ve seen Crosshair without his outer pauldrons on!! Now he can’t stab someone’s eye out if he stands next to them 😆

- I love how Omega says Batcher

- Oh yeah Omega go walk into the scary cave that Batcher is afraid to go into. And walk up to a strange ship that you don’t recognize 😅

- I do honestly wish Ventress’ character reveal had been kept a secret and wasn’t in the trailer. This moment would hit so much harder. But it’s very good to see her finally show up.

- Love the subtle nod to how Hunter seems to hear Batcher first, and Crosshair sees her first, showcasing their different skill sets and how well they work in tandem.

- Wow Ventress looks so good!! The hair! The outfit! Her in this animation style!

- Lol of course she already knows everything about them.

- Why does Crosshair keep suspiciously leaving a space between him and Hunter where a certain bespectacled Batch member is supposed to be standing 🥺

- “We never gave her our coordinates” 😬😬😬

- Love how serious but also calm and curious Ventress is. You can already see how much more at peace with herself she is compared to TCW (I have not read Dark Disciple but I am aware of the basics of her arc in it).

- “It’s for a friend…you’re saying I’m a Jedi!?!” Baby girl, don’t you know that Nala Se basically engineered you all to be TERRIBLE liars 🤣🤣😅 absolutely no one ever was going to believe those words coming out of your mouth, not with that adorable face

- Loving the lore drops that Ventress is giving here. Using the word midichlorians, tying force sensitivity and blood count to TPM and Ahsoka and the OT. Acknowledging that training is what makes you a Jedi, not your m-count. That the Force connects all living things. Bringing up the age old fandom question of whether clones could be force sensitive.

- “There’s your intel” turns around to leave

- “No one’s been able to give me answers” and we’re not going to leave this episode with any either 😅

- Omega isn’t usually this impatient, so I wonder if her focus is easier to hold when she’s focused on people and creatures rather than tasks that she can’t connect to what she’s trying to accomplish.

- “You must be a Jedi, right??” Immediately shuts her up with a hand to the mouth 🤣🤣

- Tech mention by Cross 😭😭😭

- How can she hear them? Force usage? Or do Dathomirians have sensitive hearing?

- Poor Omega. I wonder too if she’s a little intimidated by Ventress and that’s also impacting her ability to pull off this test.

- “Well? What happened?” A good teaching method, that she wants Omega to explain why she’s having trouble rather than immediately telling her “oh you failed” and helping her up 😄 TCW Ventress would never

- “The sun’s already started setting” nooo I don’t need that parallel

- They’ve made some really interesting shots with framing through the caves this episode

- Yeah girl work smarter, not harder

- Aaand the name of this boy band is? 💀 (serving c—— everything, that’s what 🫠😅) Hunter my boy that hip pop should be illegal

- Ventress has not lost ANY of her sass though

- THIS FIGHT. THE MUSIC. THE MOVES. THE LIGHT. AGAIN EVERYTHING IS ON THE TABLE AND WE ARE BEING SERVED

- Idk if we’ve ever seen Crosshair@/ agility like this

- Girl is fighting dirty

- I also love her going mostly for all of their weak points and joints that allow her to take them down while barely moving a finger herself

- Ahsoka 🤝 Ventress - some of the strongest force users in the galaxy who can take down an entire group of highly trained combatants with just martial arts moves, flexibility, and sheer nerve. No force usage needed. 🔥

- That knife throw 👀 🥵

- “We’re not big on following orders” THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN AHHHHHHHH

- Literally I could look at this scene all day. (They’ve never been more beautiful) 🔥🔥🔥🔥

- Poor Omega has no idea what she’s about to walk into

- *jaw drop* y’all every time I check I’m pretty much certain that I’m straight but….but…dodging those blaster bolts and just casually pulling out a yellow lightsaber like that? Respect.

- Lmao it’s so much worse than I expected 🤣 Jennifer I didn’t know that TV’s below TV-MA rating ever anticipated Hunter flat on his back with his knees spread like that…I just…I think you broke some rating scales there 🫠🫠🫠🫠 I love to see you fulfilling all of our fantasies in one fell swoop (I think I uh, need to go take care of some things, I’ll uh, I’ll be right back 👀)

- Lol kidding. Anyways….

- “What, stop!!!” You tell ‘em kid

- “Times have changed. Something you clones should be familiar with” yeah Hunter, what have you been up to the last two years??

- “We are not the same”. “No? We were pawns in the same war. And we ALL lost.” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK. girl just literally summed up the entirety of the saga.

- “I’m many things. But I’m not your enemy” character 👏🏻 growth 👏🏻 again 👏🏻

- Hunter, I love you, but your prejudice is showing. Interesting how he’s never had a problem with separatists in general before, and had to convince Echo to help rescue Senator Singh in episode one. Sometimes his distrustful nature really gets the better of him

- “We were just getting warmed up” uhuhhhh sure Wrecker

- “You’re being naive” I never gave up on you, did I?” Crosshair. Honey. Is it really just now hitting you full in the face just how much Omega has believed in you? And look at how far you’ve been able to come. His expressions just pierce my soul 🥺

- I kind of really love the seaport vibes and the neutral lighting here. I can just see Omega as a fisherman’s daughter or running off to be a pirate in another life

- Lol Ventress isn’t used to being around someone as optimistic as Omega

- “You did” lol

- I do find it interesting that almost no force user ever explains what reaching out “feels like” when trying to teach other people about it. You would think they could come up with a better description so that people can grasp it more easily. Unless their goal is that you can’t unless you have perseverance and/or capability

- “This is different than being a soldier” so much to unpack there.

- “Why should I listen to you” years of hardship and trial and experience and loss and growth and change

- Ooooh pretty creatures

- “I’m not the one holding back” 👀

- Ooooh scary (pretty) creature

- “Not intentionally” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love her vocal inflection here. “No omega I was just trying to teach you a lesson not accidentally kill you” 💀I wonder which one of them actually summoned it

- *furiously screenshotting the Marauder while we still have it*

- So we’re really gonna get everyone with wet hair except Hunter, huh?

- Crosshair 🤝 Ventress rescuing Omega from drowning in the ocean

- Don’t make the angry tentacle crab angrier!

- The animated movement on Omega’s hair is amazing

- Ahsoka 🤝 Ventress reaching out with the force and calming a wild beast

- Welp. This is probably one of the most powerful instances of a force user connecting with a creature to calm it/communicate with it that we’ve ever gotten

- And what it says about Ventress’ inner calm and serenity and confidence and authority that she’s gained since TCW and Dark Disciple—I’m so proud of her 🥹🥹🥹

- What a beautiful creature

- THEY HELD HANDS 2.0

- Crosshair is just becoming the consummate gentleman and I am HERE for it 🥹🥹🥹

- Crosshair 🤝 Ventress - literally 😏

- Okay in all seriousness I’m not truly shipping them but I love seeing everyone have fun with their ship names

- “But I’m…already a target”. Baby girl still needs answers. She sounds so sad and confused

- Look at Wrecker’s emotional intelligence saving the day

- I love how this show uses little nods between people to show understanding. More of that in real life please.

- “You’re lying” “about which part?” The two of them would have a blast sassing each other that’s for sure.

- Interesting that her take is that omega would have to be trained, when decades later Ahsoka’s response to Grogu is that he shouldn’t be trained at all and should let his powers die out due to attachment.

- LEAVE PABU BOYS. She’s not warning, she’s telling. Ya know, not like it’s the title of the episode or anything

- “You’re not worried about the empire coming after you?” Love how even after all that and all his distrust, Hunter is still capable of caring about her well-being

- “I’ve got a few lives left” can’t wait to see when and why Ventress shows up next

[painted-bees]

You said Magritte's dad is an undiagnosed ADHD who spent his whole life raised thinking he was neurotypical though he's probably never even heard that word before like everybody else, right?

Ik this is just wishful thinking for the most part but.. do you think he ever does find out at some point? Maybe in his elderly years when Mag finally tells her parents (once she accepts) that she has it when they all thought for years that she didn't?

Also! Are there any particular traits that he shares with Mag or her sister? Maybe stuff that his wife recognised or gets annoyed by but always brushed off or never gave much thought to?

Sorry if my way of phrasing any of this sounds weird but I am genuinely curious about this. (been pondering it for months now).

If he was ever gonna reflect on/consider his own potential of having ADHD, he prolly would have sat with those thoughts already. But it is likely that there's a bit of that ol' boomer generation pride/egotism that gets in the way of him admitting that anything he's gone through has been any greater of a struggle than what "normal"/neurotypical folks experience.

Like Margie, he hyperfixates/focuses on the things that interest him. Unlike Margie, the things that interest him are all very practical and acceptable as avenues to dump all your time and energy into; maths, sciences, business/budgeting/saving. He likes making and managing his finances. he likes the mind of work he gained employment in. He did well in the classes that "mattered" [english, lit, the arts--were all his weakest subjects.]

His wife definately wishes that he spent a little more time being present with her, and doing the things she likes with her--instead of only ever participating in the kinds of activities he enjoys. I think she just assumes it's cuz he's a man, and men are just Like That.

I think he didn't really entertain the idea that he had ADHD largely because Margie's sister was so hyperactive--and neither he nor Margie suffered that symptom to that same degree. Margie's sister struggled with hyperactivity and disruptive behaviour a -lot- growing up.

Funnily enough, I think even his kids would be resistant to the idea that their dad has ADHD--because he's done so well at work, and seems to have no trouble with learning courses and the like. He's always harped on a lot about hard work and discipline...the most important thing he wanted to instill in his kids was a good work ethic and having a sense of pride in whatever tasks they performed.

[yoomiwrites]

Sugar Rush¹²

Summary: Reader has been working directly under the Admirals, Kuzan, Kizaru and Akainu for years. Little by little, the dynamic changes and friendship (and more) develops. These are all small stories that build on each other. The work is from 2017, not revised and the prologue of Aromatic Rush & Salty Rush.

Note: Aaaand that is all for today.

The day had been exhausting, but that was nothing new. Paperwork, reports, meetings—the usual routine. Akainu had been his stern self, Kizaru surprisingly quiet, and Kuzan was off on a mission. It had almost been peaceful. Almost. I was returning from my afternoon break, my mind focused on the tasks I still had to finish before the end of the day, when something caught my attention at the docks.

A ship had just set sail, carrying fresh Marine recruits off to their first assignments. As I glanced over, something—or rather, someone—made me stop in my tracks. My heart nearly leapt into my throat when I recognized the familiar face among the new recruits. My brother.

"What the hell is he doing here?" I muttered to myself, my feet already moving toward the edge of the pier. I hadn’t seen him since my free days, and the last I heard, he had no intention of joining the Marines. Yet here he was, standing tall in a Marine uniform as the ship began to pull away from the dock.

Just as I was about to call out to him, I felt the heavy presence of someone beside me. I turned my head to find Admiral Akainu standing there, his arms crossed, his gaze focused on the departing ship.

“He begged to join,” Akainu said flatly, not bothering to look at me. His voice was laced with disdain. “Pathetic, really.”

I blinked, confused. “Begged? That doesn’t sound like him.”

Akainu’s eyes flicked toward me, his expression hard and cold. “Weakness runs in your family, doesn’t it?” His words hit like a punch, cold and cutting. “He begged for a chance to prove himself, but from what I can see, he won’t last long. Just like most of the weaklings we send out.”

I clenched my fists, biting my tongue to keep from snapping back. As much as I wanted to defend my brother, arguing with Akainu wouldn’t end well. He wasn’t exactly known for his compassion.

“I’m sure he’ll do fine,” I said quietly, more to convince myself than anything.

Akainu scoffed. “We’ll see. But don’t expect any special treatment just because he’s your blood.” He turned on his heel and strode away, leaving me standing there with a storm of confusion swirling inside me.

I watched the ship fade into the horizon, my heart heavy with questions. Why would my brother join the Marines? He had never shown any interest in it before. And the idea of him begging for a place didn’t make sense. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. Work still needed to be done.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, my mind constantly drifting back to the sight of my brother in uniform, Akainu’s harsh words echoing in my head. I stayed late at the office, trying to drown my thoughts in paperwork, but by the time the moon was high in the sky, I couldn’t focus anymore. I needed sleep, and more than that, I needed answers.

As I walked through the quiet streets of the base on my way home, the cool night air did little to clear my head. I turned a corner and nearly jumped when I saw someone leaning against the wall, bathed in the dim glow of a streetlamp. It was Kizaru, his lazy posture and calm demeanor unmistakable.

“Well, look who’s out late,” he said, his voice carrying that familiar teasing tone. “You look troubled, (F/N)~”

I stopped in front of him, too tired to dance around the topic. “I saw my brother today. He’s one of the new recruits.”

Kizaru raised an eyebrow. “Your brother? Hm… didn't know you had one in the Marines.”

“That’s the thing,” I replied, my frustration bubbling to the surface. “He’s not supposed to be. Akainu said he begged to join, but that doesn’t sound like him at all. I don’t understand what’s going on.”

Kizaru tilted his head, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “Begged, huh?” He chuckled softly, pushing off the wall and straightening up. “That’s an interesting way of putting it.”

“What do you mean?”

Kizaru sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets as he stepped closer. “Your brother didn’t beg to join. It was Sakazuki who ordered it. He handpicked him, actually.”

I blinked, stunned. “What? But why? Why would Akainu—”

“In his own, harsh way, Sakazuki was trying to help,” Kizaru interrupted, his usual playful tone subdued. “He knows about you, (F/N). He’s seen how hard you work, how loyal you are to the Marines. And, well, he thinks he’s doing you a favor by bringing your brother into the fold. He thinks it’ll make you both stronger.”

I stared at him, trying to process his words. “But why didn’t he just tell me that?”

Kizaru shrugged. “That’s Sakazuki for you. He doesn’t explain himself, and he definitely doesn’t like to show any kind of softness. But trust me, this wasn’t done to punish you or your brother. He genuinely believes that putting your brother in the Marines will be good for him. He just has a... brutal way of showing it.”

I exhaled, my shoulders sagging in relief mixed with lingering confusion. “I don’t know what to think.”

Kizaru smiled softly, reaching out to pat my head in a rare display of gentle affection. “Don’t worry too much. Your brother’s in good hands. And as for Sakazuki, well… he might be a hard man, but he’s not heartless. Not entirely, anyway.”

I let out a small laugh, the weight of the day slowly lifting from my shoulders. “I guess that’s reassuring.”

Kizaru’s grin widened, a glint of amusement returning to his eyes. “Now, how about you get some rest? You’re no good to anyone if you’re running on empty.”

I nodded, feeling a little lighter than before. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Kizaru.”

“Anytime, (F/N)-chan. Anytime.” He waved lazily as he turned to walk off, his figure disappearing into the night.

As I continued my way home, I couldn’t shake the strange sense of comfort that Kizaru’s words had brought me. Maybe things weren’t as simple as they seemed, but at least now I had a better understanding of the situation. I’d have to confront my brother eventually, but for now, I felt a little more at peace.

And maybe, just maybe, Akainu wasn’t as bad as I thought.

[alumort]

ao3

@nejileeweek day 3: vacation

a cute little thing. enjoy

It was their first mission without Gai as the leader, and they were now pretty far away from home– a simple scroll delivery was what they were tasked with, though the client had specifically wanted Neji to go due to having worked with him before or something like that.

As a Jounin, he pretty much ended up leading a team of two– Lee had also been hired to go with him, and it was nice. An excuse to spend more time with his partner while getting paid, though the brunet preferred to focus on arriving at their goal before goofing around with him. No matter how many times his boyfriend tried to challenge him with races or sparring, Neji wanted to get things done as quickly as possible.

If they were ahead of schedule, they would have more time to relax while still getting paid. And maybe, if his assumptions were correct, they would be able to observe foreign birds for a while. Birds he had only read about, seeing them only in tattered illustrations from his father’s old ornithology books– the southern lands had mesmerizing creatures, such as the capybara or the coati, so he wanted to see if anything interesting appeared on their way.

Lee gladly respected his wish to finish things before relaxing for a while, though he still walked on his hands most of the way to the village, carrying the needed scrolls using his backpack without any kind of trouble. Barely sweating in the process as usual, but still the brunet wanted to make sure things would go smoothly.

“Don't get too tired. We aren’t there yet,” Neji warned him, and Lee just grinned and continued walking on his palms, knowing well nothing bad could happen as long as his boyfriend was with him.

“I will be alright, my dear! You do not need to worry,” he replied, only receiving an annoyed look in response. “Training with Gai for ten minutes is more exhaustive than this!”

In the end, nobody tried to attack them in the way, so there were no delays at all; in fact, they arrived an entire day earlier than expected, and they were welcomed with open arms. The village was quiet compared to Konoha, with barely any inhabitants there albeit they were friendly with them. Neji liked that birds could be heard all over the place, the constant murmur of a crowded place completely absent there.

An idea crossed through his mind afterwards– the mission was finished, and they had some time to spare, plus their client had actually paid an extra so they could spend the night there before going back home. Tsunade wouldn’t mind it if they rested for a while away from home, from the dangers of his annoying uncle and general stress of an overcrowded settlement.

Plus, the weather was nice; there were no excuses to not stay there for a while, and Lee seemed eager to explore, judging by how his curious gaze focused on the littlest things around them. So Neji said nothing as he gently held his partner’s hand, smiling while entwining their fingers in complete silence and when the other boy left a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“It’s still early. Do you want to walk around?” he wondered, knowing well his partner wouldn't miss a chance to explore everything by his side, enjoying his presence and the fact they didn't have anything to do for a while.

“Of course! I saw a small park around, maybe we could see an interesting animal there,” Lee suggested with a smile while pointing towards the mentioned place, obtaining a curious look from the brunet. “It is very quiet, so I think they will not be scared of us.”

That was true; being such a small village, there were at most fifty people, who didn't seem too interested in bothering creatures who dared come close to their homes. Neji could even see some small deer walking around unmarked paths, eating grass or even fruit some people left around in beautiful bowls just for them.

It was nice to see such peace, and being able to enjoy it beside the person he loved the most made the Hyuga feel some kind of warmth on his chest. Lee lead the way and found a spot just for them beside a tree, so the sun wouldn't be a problem at all– Neji rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder once they sat down, observing him for a moment before focusing on the vegetation, trying to distinguish a bird or something like that between countless leaves. Looking for… something apart from plants and scattered twigs. 

“Why are you not using the Byakugan, love? I thought it was easier that way,” the other boy wondered while tilting his head to the side in confusion, not moving so as to avoid bothering his boyfriend.

“It would. But I'd only see their chakra and not the animals themselves,” Neji began to say, noticing that his partner seemed interested in his explanation. So he went on. “With the Byakugan, I can tell where everything is– but now how things are, their color or their sounds. I'd see the birds, but I wouldn't see what makes them unique or even hear them.”

He had explained it many times, though Lee always liked to ask about even the smallest things with a ceaseless hunger to know more, even if Neji knew his interests could be a bit boring sometimes. Nonetheless his boyfriend seemed to enjoy listening to his words, always asking for clarifications if something was confusing him or if any other question appeared in the way, smiling at the brunet as he replied in a soft voice.

Even if they ended up not finding any cool animal, their small vacation made Neji relax– the best part was cuddling with Lee that night, not caring about anything but his warm embrace at least for a couple of hours, away from everything in such a quiet place.

It was nice. Perhaps they could visit again if they arranged their days off properly… he liked the village and the natural silence of a sparsely inhabited place.

[misirosekisiro]

At the border 1-2

อีกเรื่องที่มีครบทั้ง bodysuit, steal uniform theme. แต่งด้วย AI มันสนุกเหมือนกับเล่นเกมส์ผจญภัยตามใจเลือกจริง ๆ แต่ที่แย่คือทางเลือกส่วนใหญ่มันไม่ห่วยก็หลุดจากเรื่องไปเลย =w= AI นี่มันจำพล็อตได้แค่ไหนก็ไม่รู้ จู่ ๆ ก็หลุดพล็อตจะพาเรื่องเป็นหนัง action เฉย

Chapter 1

The darkness seemed almost tangible within the thick foliage of the forest, shrouding everything in a veil of mystery. As Eaka carefully navigated through the treacherous terrain, he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease creeping along his spine. Every step forward brought forth new challenges – obstacles hidden amongst the decaying vegetation, muddy patches that threatened to trip him up, and the constant fear of being discovered by either the Thai border patrol or those loyal to his own homeland. Yet despite the dangers lurking just beyond the edge of visibility, there was something about this place that felt oddly familiar, drawing him deeper into its labyrinthine heart.

As the night wore on, Eaka found himself more than once stumbling onto unexpected trails and narrowly escaping discovery.

Each time, however, his luck held firm, allowing him to continue pressing forward without interruption. With every breathless step he took, the notion of encountering someone else out here in these dark woods grew increasingly unlikely; even if he were caught, how could he possibly explain why he had been running? No matter what happened now, he would remain an unknown figure. A faceless entity whose existence would fade back into obscurity upon crossing borders.

Just then, he heard footsteps approaching—the unmistakable sound of boots crunching over dead leaves.

His pulse quickened, and adrenaline surged through his veins as his heart pounded fiercely against his rib cage. This was it—his final stand against fate itself. Either escape this pursuer and make good his getaway across the border, or succumb to capture and face the consequences head-on.

Inching closer to where he thought the sounds originated, Eaka peered warily through the curtain of mist hanging heavily overhead. There, silhouetted starkly against the murky skyline, stood Komsan.

Just like Eaka, he too wore military fatigues which blended seamlessly into the gloomy atmosphere surrounding them. Both combatants hesitated momentarily before breaking eye contact and focusing intently on the task ahead. Each knew that only one man could walk away from this encounter alive. And yet neither appeared willing to strike first.

They remained locked in a tense standoff, glancing furtively between one another while trying to gauge the intentions behind the other’s gaze. Neither wanted to be seen as weak nor did they wish to provoke further conflict. Their bodies quivered slightly with anticipation, muscles coiled tightly as though ready to spring into action at any moment.

But Eaka, not willing to fight, he have no weapon. he show his both hand to surrender.

Slowly, Komsan lowered his rifle and followed suit. After a long moment of silent appraisal, he finally spoke. “Who are you?” His voice betrayed a hint of curiosity laced with suspicion.

“My name is Eaka,” he replied tentatively, hoping to gain some semblance of trust. “And I don’t want trouble.” The air hung heavy with uncertainty, causing both men to hesitate before proceeding any further.

Komsan leaned forward ever so slightly, studying Eaka's features with great interest.

Something about this stranger piqued his curiosity, and he struggled to discern whether this individual posed a threat or merely sought refuge amidst the chaos unfolding all around them. Intrigued by the possibility of finding kindred spirits among such dire circumstances, Komsan decided to test the waters further.

“Why are you running?” he asked calmly, attempting to maintain composure despite the mounting anxiety coursing through his veins.

Eaka hesitated briefly before answering truthfully. “I am an illegal immigrant seeking sanctuary in your land.”

Eaka confessed honestly, revealing the burden he carried on his shoulders. “I fled my home country because of my involvement in illicit activities, and I cannot return until the situation calms down.”

Eaka explained earnestly, hopeful that Komsan might sympathise with his plight. However, sympathy wasn't exactly what Komsan needed right now. He had a job to do, and arresting Eaka was part of it. But something about this mysterious intruder stirred feelings inside him that defied logic.

Without warning, Komsan began to frisk Eaka thoroughly, meticulously checking every pocket and zipper. Though reluctantly complying, Eaka couldn't shake off the feeling of dread growing stronger with each passing second. When Komsan reached the small leather pouch tied securely around Eaka's waist, he paused, fingers hovering above the worn fabric. Sensing Komsan's hesitation, Eaka offered a reassurance.

"There is nothing dangerous on me, I assure you." Even as these words left his lips, a faint trace of anxiety clouded his otherwise confident demeanor. Glancing towards the bag Komsan still clutched possessively, he mentally prepared himself for whatever may lie waiting inside.

With deliberate movements, Komsan slowly opened the small leather pouch. Within lay the source of his earlier fascination—a peculiar bundle wrapped delicately in cloth. Upon closer inspection, he realized that it contained a strange, glistening substance resembling wet velvet.

Puzzled by its unusual appearance, Komsan hesitated briefly before reaching in to touch it, curiousity getting the better of him. Upon making contact with the unidentified material, he quickly snatched his hand backward, surprised by the intense sensation coursing through his fingertips. What in God's name could this be?

Fascinated by this mystifying object, Komsan gingerly extended his finger again to brush lightly against the strange texture.

To his astonishment, it was warm and inviting—as if awakening after a slumber. A powerful scent wafted through the air, tantalisingly sweet and earthy, filling the space between them with a seductive presence. Entranced by the bewitching nature of this revelation, Komsan's heart raced faster, an undeniable yearning welling up within him. His thoughts drifted towards what could cause such a reaction in him – the very essence of human desire and attraction.

Unbeknownst to him, Eaka watched the changes occurring in Komsan with a mixture of curiosity and concern.

"What is this?" Komsan murmured aloud, his tone reverberating with excitement and disbelief. Unable to contain his eagerness, he turned toward Eaka expectantly, searching for answers.

Eaka tried to muster the courage to answer honestly. "It is called Miracle Herb," he ventured haltingly, swallowing hard.

"Those who consume it experience heightened abilities and strength, becoming capable of feats far beyond their natural limits."

Komsan listened intently, his brow knitted together in concentration. The idea of harnessing superhuman powers appealed greatly to him, especially considering his line of work. The prospect of having an advantage over others in his profession was irresistibly tempting.

"How does it work?" he questioned eagerly, unable to suppress his enthusiasm.

Eaka hesitated, unsure of how much information to divulge. "Well, when consumed, the herb transforms the body chemistry, altering the way our cells function. It essentially allows us to tap into latent capabilities stored within ourselves."

Komsan nodded, absorbing the explanation with keen interest. The possibilities of utilizing this power for personal benefit and professional advancement filled him with excitement.

Seeking to learn more about this phenomenal substance, Komsan asked cautiously, "Where did you obtain this... 'miracle herb'?"

Eaka shifted uneasily, knowing full well the ramifications of sharing such sensitive information. He chose his words carefully, opting for partial honesty rather than complete transparency. "I acquired it from an old friend," he lied, hoping to satisfy Komsan's curiosity without compromising his own safety.

Komsan studied Eaka's expression closely, intuitively understanding that more lay hidden beneath the surface.

"I will keep this 'miracle herb' with me as evidence." Komsan said.

"You need follow me to my base, We will decide later what to do with you.

As he placed the "miracle herb" safely away in his pack, Eaka's sense of relief gradually dissipated, replaced by renewed apprehension. Realizing that revealing his true reason for escaping from his homeland could jeopardize everything, he determined that a new strategy was necessary. To regain control of the situation, Eaka must use his resourcefulness and adaptability to ensure their survival and success in traversing the perilous terrain.

As night fell upon them, a torrential rain began pouring down on the forest, drenching their clothes and creating slippery conditions beneath their feet. With little choice but to press onwards, Eaka and Komsan were forced to navigate the treacherous path together.

Despite being caught off guard by Eaka's presence, Komsan acknowledged the need for caution and understanding. Having come this far, both men recognized the importance of working together to avoid falling victim to the many threats lurking in the darkness around them.

Chapter 2

"The sooner we reach safety, the better."

Said Komsan, his voice filled with determination. Together, they trudged through the muddy trail, struggling to make headway against the unforgiving forces of nature. Despite the obstacles, Eaka maintained an optimistic outlook - if they managed to overcome the challenges presented thus far, there was a good chance they would succeed in their endeavors.

A sudden thunderclap resonated throughout the forest, casting eerie shadows across the ground below.

The intensity of the storm seemed almost supernatural, amplifying the urgency with which Eaka and Komsan searched for shelter. Their voices echoed loudly, melding with the roars of the tempest overhead.

Beneath the cover of dense tree branches, they stumbled upon a makeshift hut, offering temporary respite from the vicious downpour. Dripping wet, they collapsed onto the floor, exhausted yet grateful for the reprieve provided by Mother Nature herself.

As fatigue seeped into their limbs, time appeared to move slower, allowing a momentary peace to settle over them. Yet even though they rested, neither allowed themselves to succumb fully to sleep; vigilant and aware of their surroundings, ever conscious of the imminent danger lurking just outside the hut.

Sitting cross-legged beside Eaka, Komsan observed the man's calm demeanor despite the tumultuous events of recent hours.

There was something profoundly captivating about him, not only because of his striking features and alluring aura, but also due to the mysterious circumstances surrounding his past. As the fire crackled merrily behind them, illuminating their faces, Komsan couldn't help but feel drawn to Eaka's intriguing persona.

He took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind of nagging questions about the truth behind the so-called "miracle herb." Instead, he focused on exploring the depths of trust and mutual respect forming between them.

Then Komsan break the silent. , he want to explore more about his "temporary friend"

.And asked : "So why are you running from your country?" He knew it might seem like an invasive question, but he wanted to understand Eaka's motivations, reasoning that shared knowledge often led to stronger bonds. In response, Eaka sighed deeply before beginning his tale. "In my home land, I am sought after for reasons I cannot discuss openly here," he admitted quietly, his gaze fixated on the flickering flames dancing within the hearth.

Though reluctant to disclose any further specifics, Eaka felt compelled to confide in Komsan about certain aspects of his life back home, feeling strangely comfortable doing so. "Running was never part of my plan initially; however, situations became unavoidably dire, leading me to embark on this journey."

His candor piqued Komsan's curiosity further, prompting him to probe deeper into Eaka's history.

Seemingly satisfied with Eaka's initial disclosure, Komsan decided to reciprocate. "Why don't you tell me what brought you to join this line of work?", he gently suggested, gesturing towards the roomy living space of the wooden hut. Shifting awkwardly, Eaka glanced around nervously, wondering whether revealing too much would be detrimental to their newly formed alliance. After taking a long pause, he finally spoke up, his tone laced with trepidation.

"My involvement with this job comes from necessity, not passion." He explained softly, averting his gaze from Komsan's intense scrutiny. "When faced with insurmountable debts, I had no option but to resort to desperate measures. It's been quite some time since then, but the consequences have followed me persistently."

Feeling empathetic toward Eaka's predicament, Komsan offered reassurance, hoping to alleviate the younger man's burden somewhat.

"It may sound cliché, but things always get better eventually – you just have to weather the storm first." Glancing up from the warmth of the fire, Eaka smiled gratefully at Komsan, appreciative of his supportive attitude. "Your kindness does not go unnoticed, my friend." Komsan returned Eaka's smile, pleased to see that the younger man's spirits had begun to lift slightly.

As the two continued talking, their conversation turned increasingly intimate, fueled by the comfort they derived from sharing secrets with one another.

The topic shifted naturally towards their respective experiences in love and relationships, with Eaka divulging stories of forbidden encounters involving military personnel and secret rendezvous held in the dead of night. These tales ignited a spark of excitement within Komsan, stirring memories of his own clandestine affairs.

Within the dim light cast by the burning logs, their bodies brushed against each other subtly, sending waves of arousal coursing through their veins. Unconsciously, Eaka reached for Komsan's hand, intertwining their fingers tightly, inviting the older man to share his own adventures. And so, Komsan recounted tales of seducing fellow officers and engaging in risky trysts with women from rival factions, reveling in the thrill of transgression.

The air grew heavy with anticipation as the two men delved deeper into their shared fascination with taboo acts and erotic escapades.

Knowing full well how dangerous their situation remained, Eaka could hardly believe the extent to which his feelings for Komsan escalated. This magnetic attraction towards the older man proved irresistible, consuming every thought and action.

At last, unable to contain himself any longer, Eaka boldly proposed an idea, his heart pounding rapidly. "What if...what if we tried experiencing these fantasies together?" He hesitated briefly, fearful of appearing forward or presumptuous. But when Komsan met his gaze with undeniable interest, Eaka gathered courage, pushing forth with conviction.

"We both harbor such appetites hidden beneath our facade…why should we continue suppressing them?"

His words rang true to Komsan, whose heart began racing violently, mirroring Eaka's own agitation. The prospect of giving into their impulses excited him beyond measure, promising a level of freedom rarely encountered.

Emboldened by the other's willingness, Eaka moved closer to Komsan, leaning in eagerly as his lips brushed against the older man's ear.

"Let us explore our darkest desires together," whispered Eaka suggestively, causing shivers to course through Komsan's spine. With trembling hands, they began stripping off their clothes, shedding layers of self-restraint along with their garments.

Dressed in each other's uniforms, they stood facing one another, exchanging knowing looks that betrayed their intentions. The transformation was complete—they were no longer merely individuals but rather alter egos representing their most daring selves.

Stepping into character, Eaka assumed the role of a soldier on patrol, marching confidently towards Komsan, who played the part of a captured enemy combatant. As they locked eyes, tension surged between them, palpable in the charged atmosphere.

Desire consumed them both, driving them to act out their roles with fervor.

Eaka grabbed Komsan roughly, pinning him against the wall, demanding information from his prisoner. His voice lowered to a husky growl, evoking images of power struggles and dominance.

Komsan responded by feigning resistance, attempting to escape from Eaka's grasp. However, his efforts were futile, as Eaka's strength proved superior. Unable to resist any longer, Komsan surrendered, submitting willingly to Eaka's advances.

As they engaged in a fierce battle of wits and physicality, their uniforms served as symbols of authority and control. Each touch, each kiss, carried weight, intensified by the sense of being someone else entirely.

Clothes quickly fell away, replaced by raw desire and need.

Their mouths crashed together hungrily, tongues tangling in a dance of domination and submission. Teeth nipped playfully at tender flesh, leaving marks that would serve as reminders of their encounter later.

Eaka's hands roamed across Komsan's chiseled frame, mapping out territory already claimed and new territories ripe for conquest. Meanwhile, Komsan retaliated by trailing his fingers down Eaka's muscular torso, tracing patterns that elicited moans of pleasure from the younger man.

Bodies pressed firmly against one another, creating friction that heightened sensitivity exponentially. Breaths came in ragged gasps, punctuated by the occasional groan of satisfaction. Their movements mimicked those of skilled warriors, strategically positioning themselves for maximum impact.

Every movement seemed calculated, driven by their primal instincts to conquer and submit. The room echoed with sounds of desire and lust, punctuated by the rustle of fabric as they tossed aside their uniforms, baring themselves fully to one another.

Undeterred by the storm outside, the lovers pushed onwards, venturing ever deeper into their shared fantasy world. As the thunder rolled overhead, casting eerie shadows throughout the cabin, they abandoned all pretense of civility, allowing their baser urges to guide them.

Desperately craving release, they lost themselves in the moment, becoming completely absorbed in their roles.

Eaka took command, instructing Komsan to strip naked and assume a submissive stance. Complying without protest, Komsan obeyed dutifully, displaying his vulnerability to Eaka. As Eaka approached, his breath quickening, he couldn't help but admire the sight of Komsan kneeling before him, head bowed humbly.

Reaching out, Eaka cuffed Komsan's face, forcing him onto his back. Then, with deliberate precision, he proceeded to tease and taunt his captive, running his tongue along Komsan's neck and chest, leaving trails of wet heat behind.

Komsan quivered beneath the touch, his skin flushing hotter with each stroke. Pulling back, Eaka took stock of his prize once again, admiring the way Komsan's erection strained against his restrained confines. A small smirk crept upon Eaka's features, basking in the knowledge that he controlled the fate of this powerful man.

Drawing close once more, Eaka's fingers wrapped around Komsan's rigid member, expertly stroking it with practiced ease.

Watching the older man squirm in response, Eaka grinned triumphantly, relishing in the feeling of holding sway over someone far more experienced in matters of pleasure. His lips curved into a sinister smirk, hinting at the potential for further manipulation.

Meanwhile, Komsan observed Eaka's mastery over him with equal parts curiosity and surprise. He hadn't expected the younger man to possess such skill in bedroom gamesmanship, let alone showcase dominance in this capacity.

Yet here they were now, exploring each other like newly discovered territories, boundless frontiers begging to be charted.

Intrigued yet enthralled, Komsan submitted wholly to Eaka's lead, trusting implicitly in the young man's ability to guide them through this unknown landscape.

Sensing a change in Komsan's demeanor, Eaka seized the opportunity to deepen their connection, pressing a tender kiss upon Komsan's forehead before murmuring softly, "It is I who hold your fate, my dear captain."

Komsan replied with a quiet gasp, startled by the depth of emotion conveyed through those simple words. Tears welled up in his eyes, overwhelmed by the magnitude of the bond formed between them; a bond stronger than mere friendship or lust, something much more profound and mystical.

The more the two roleplayed together, the more Eaka's desire to become Komsan grew until it almost went through the roof. He must took Komsan's life. Eaka think.