#i have too many regrets for how young i am
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i suppose this fits here but i just needed to get shit off my chest.
the idea of growing up terrifies me now. im 18 finally and ive graduated high school and i have a job and its not what i thought it would be. i dont remember the details, but i woke up thrashing and panicking this morning over. some dream that had something to do with growing up. i spent my whole goddamn life trying to get to this point as fast as i could, because it was the only way i could see to break out of my parents rules and restrictions and finally be free and be myself without fear.
and. now i made it. im here, i did it, and. id give anything to go back. i wasted so much time, so much energy, being afraid and letting that fear control me and focusing only on this one nebulous far off goal that i wasted my life. i missed every opportunity that might have been there had i decided to just stick up for myself instead. i already had a fucked up high school experience and i made it worse for myself out of fear.
im never getting those years back.
ive already lost so much to the way i was raised in the mormon church and now this, by proxy but still at my own hand, and its. i dont know. it makes me sick. i only ever wanted to be normal and this is what i fucking got and theres nothing i can do about it. my whole life was stolen from me because of this church, be it directly or indirectly and theres nothing i can do about it.
#vent#aster.txt#tyrone.txt#im so fucking mad and im sad and im tired of being sad and mad#i dont know if anyone else feels this way#its the shittiest feeling#regret#i have too many regrets for how young i am#i hate it i hate the church i hate myself i hate my family#i couldve had a normal life had things gone even just a little to the left instead of down the drain#sighs.#i need therapy#exmo#exmormon#ex mormon#religious trama#ex cult#apostate#ex religious#cult survivor#stars know i dont feel like a survivor#i feel like shell#hollowed out by the cult and left behind to try and fill the holes again#okay to rb
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A Much Needed Interview (OP81)
(Part 2 of Teen Dad) Summary: After the shock of Oscar revealing himself to be a former teen dad, he joins an interview in the hopes of clearing everything up and limiting the overwhelming amount of questions he has been getting.
âOscar, it is nice of you to sit down with us. I know it has been an interesting few weeks for you and your family. How are you guys all doing?â The interviewer asks.
âYeah, yâknow, I had expected to one day have to open up about it all, but I never thought Iâd have to do it the way I did. It has been fine, obviously my kids are young enough to not be impacted because they arenât on social media, but it has been strange for my fiancĂ©e who is now getting hundreds of requests on her private account. I have sort of decided to take a break from social media because the response has been overwhelming and like none before. Mostly positive but I think a few people have gotten the wrong idea so I was hoping to clear everything up.â Oscar rambled. He was more nervous about this interview than any he had done before.
âOf course. Why donât we start at the beginning, how did you and your fiancĂ©e meet?â
âWe actually met at one of my races. She went to support one of her close friendâs brothers. After the race that I sadly didnât do too well in, I saw her with her friend and I was kinda frozen in my spot, immediately head over heels. Sadly, it seems like everyone but her noticed. I was too scared to do anything so I just watched her leave. I think I sulked for days, totally regretting my decision to do nothing. A totally heartbroken 16 year old. I looked for her every single race until she finally came back a few months later.â
âOh please tell me you finally got the confidence to shoot your shot.â
âNope! I just stared at her and stuttered when she caught me looking then ran off. I then had an amazing race, I think part of me was just trying to make up for the embarrassment and luckily it seems my car got the memo. After the race she came up to me and asked for my number.â God, he was blushing profusely at the memory. He knew he would be getting slack for this for a very long time.Â
âSuch a story! The young Oscar Piastri was no ladiesâ man.â
âHe was absolutely not. Soon after we started dating.â Oscar awkwardly laughed, sensing what was about to come up.
âAnd then kids came shortly after?â The interviewer asked with care in his voice, certainly able to sense Oscarâs change in attitude.
âYeah. Uh, obviously not planned. I donât think many people plan to become parentâs at 18. It was a shock⊠I didnât handle it the best at first, something I think I will always regret. She was scared and while so was I, I should have been more supportive. I was embarrassed for a while. Felt like a total idiot. I didnât tell anyone outside of my family and made them swear to secrecy. I also began to isolate myself from friends because I couldnât bring myself to tell them but also felt terrible lying. A few months in I finally snapped myself out of it and began to focus on all the wonderfulness that was to come. I loved her more than anything and I would be lying if I said I hadnât already imagined a life together in great detail. By the time we found out it was twins, a boy and a girl, I was ecstatic.â
âWell mate, I donât blame you for your feelings. I definitely would have been a terrible father at 18 so I salute you.â The interviewer joked.
âHonestly, I had the same thought for a while, even when I was excited to have kids. I had so many doubts about it, I mean how could I not? But when it came down to it, I couldnât afford to be anything less than a great father. Of course I had my moments, and still do years later, but I wouldnât be able to let myself be anything less than I am. If you love your kids enough, you find a way.â
âHow did having kids so young impact your career? Obviously it didnât hurt it too much considering you are in your second year driving in Formula 1.â
âWell, I decided I wouldnât advertise my situation unless a team was very serious about me. Prema knew, Alpine did too and of course McLaren does. All were welcoming and accommodating, as much as they could be. I donât think I would have gone with any of them if they werenât cool with it though. I realized the minute my kids were born I would give it all up for them, which scared the hell out of me.â
âThat is admirable. All these years later you are still with their mother, correct?â
âYes! I asked her to marry me over break. Everyone close to us had been confused as to why it took so long but we had discussed marriage together many times and made the decision that because our relationship moved so fast with having kids so young, we would wait a bit. I mean, we are still young but I honestly couldnât wait any longer. She is everything to me and the most wonderful mother my kids could have.â
âHave your kids been around the paddock yet? I assume they are old enough to understand what you do.â
âThey have been to the factory and come with me to meetings when we havenât had a sitter for them. Luckily, they are both very well behaved in public, they also really like watching the races on tv and have somewhat of an understanding of what I do. They donât believe I actually drive the car though.â Oscar rumbled. Trying to convince his twins that yes, their father actually does drive the cars they see going super fast, has been an ongoing issue. They seem to believe he is tricking them but have no problem believing Uncle Logan and Uncle Lando drive the cars. It has definitely humbled him immensely.
âWell you will have to fix that soon huh? Will they be attending races in the future?â
âI am trying to work that out with my fiancĂ©e actually. They are almost four so we donât want them traveling too far, I also donât believe they will be able to be entertained solely by the race the entire time so we have a lot to deal with. But I think seeing them on the paddock supporting me will be one of the best moments of my life. I selfishly canât wait for them to come.â
The interview wrapped up shortly after that. Getting to reminisce on the start of his relationship and how far they have come and how many wonderful things are in the future put Oscar in a deliriously happy mood. He couldnât wait to get home to his family.Â
Walking through the door, he was immediately welcomed to the sound of toddler meltdowns. Fully entering the house, he saw his very tired fiancée rubbing her face as she tried to calm her babies down. Clearly this had been going on for a while.
Despite how upset she looked, she immediately perked up at seeing Oscar had returned. But that immediately went away as she remembered the screaming kids and how messy the house and herself were.
âSorry honey, I know you are probably so tired after the interview and meetings earlier and these two missed their nap so they are so cranky and I just-â He cut her off with a kiss. Once he pulled away she looked at him, perplexed. A kiss from Oscar was never unwelcome but it was the last thing she expected at that moment.
âHey, look at me.â He said as he put a hand on her cheek. âI love you and our little family so much and you never, ever have to apologize for something as trivial as this. Why donât you go get in the bath and relax a little and I will try to wrangle these two, okay?âÂ
In her eyes, Oscar had never been hotter than he was now. Now it was her turn to surprise him with a kiss, even more passionate than the first. They would have continued if it hadnât been for more screaming from their two kids.
Still, Oscar wouldnât change a thing.
#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#op81 fluff#op81 imagine#op81 x reader
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Moon in the Houses (Part 1)đđ
This is primarily based on how Moon is related to CHANGES and what possible changes moon placements can bring over time. I've included some other random points too.đ
(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement, take whatever that resonates and leave the rest,hope you enjoy giving it a read, take it lightly!) â€
Moon in 1st house- Your overall personality might easily change from time to time. You could also make frequent changes in your appearance. The way you express yourself, whether you are in your confident era or low self esteem era can be easily noticed. You could've been someone who cared a lot for others and emotionally highly expressive but suddenly don't give a fu*k anymore and more closed off. In younger years you could've been more short tempered and take everything personal or straight to the heart, after sometime you find yourself easily moving on and not bothering too much. You are that person whose fashion sense improved a lot and had a mad glow up, people from your school could be amazed by seeing your recent Instagram photos lol. People could say, Oh i almost couldnt recognize you, especially around and after the age of 22. No matter the ascendant, your eyes could be very expressive and frequently blinking or distracted. You can experience significant weight gain or loss, sometimes you feel fat and sometimes lean, your weight could also fluctuate a lot but anyways pretty AF.đ
đ€©
Moon in 2nd house- You could be an extreme saver, then could think life is to live why am I saving all this if I can't be happy NOW?! So u start to spend, then regret ur decision and go back to saving. You can face difficulty in differentiating between a hobby skill and technical skill you want to improve and pursue, especially can think about making your extracurricular skills as a main source of income. Ex.:You could be doing nail art for fun, then suddenly decides to make it a main career, not satisfied with the outcome and back to keeping it as hobby, this cycle can be noticed. You like to learn many languages or can easily adopt to different accents/slangs in speaking same language. Your stamina could've evolved from being great to lowest or vice versa. Your voice and tone might change, you can experience dry throat or have a husky voice. Food can be your comfort zone, eating good food can easily lighten up your mood instantaneously. You can be emotionally attached to your things, during childhood you could be that kid who had a fancy pencil that you don't give to anyone because you love and value it too much.đžâĄ
Moon in 3rd house- You could love your younger siblings or sometimes can't stand their presence, there is no inbetween. Your hearing capacity can reduce due to over usage of earphones, you could be someone who calms down by hearing music continuously. You could've been timid or scared to voice out your feelings or thoughts during young age but turn out to be more vocal about things you care about, striking them hard with your words boldly over time. You can just play music and go on a short trip or at least to the market or neighborhood places often to lighten up your mood quickly. You can find it hard to stay determined for a long time, the cycle of starting something enthusiastically, then feel bored, then rethinking whether it's right, then again feeling dedicated to start again can be seen. When compared with 2H in the same sense, 2H is more about feeling confused and 3H is more about feeling bored or distracted easily. You could write a daily life diary or a secret diary from childhood and maintain it. You just write out your emotions, whether it be just writing your life incidents in a diary or turning it into a poetry.đ€ âș
Moon in 4th house- The main theme here is how much of a homebody you are, then suddenly wanting to run away from home, then missing home so much, wanting to come back, again pissed off about staying in home for longer periods, then wanting to leave can be observed. Also the number of times you could've changed your house can be more than other placements, it doesn't have to be residing in different cities everytime, it could be just going to different neighborhood but the changing of houses can be there. Either you love your mother so much or have emotional scars from her, no inbetween but in both cases, the person can have a lot of sympathy and protective of mom. Incase of good placement, you can inherit maternal property easily, incase of neutral or bad placement, maternal properties could be in dispute. These people yearn a lot for comfort zone, they secretly want people around them to pamper and help them be comfortable. Afflicted moon can cause breaks in primary education, strong moon placement can give change of schools.đđ«
Moon in 5th house- For some people, this can give major fluctuations in their mood, like they can go from being extremely bubbly to cussing at somebody in a microseconds. Can give interest in astrology. They could be curious to know what others will think about them and pay attention to it a lot. Incase of strong placement, you could've been the role model kid in your family, a star in whatever you did whether it be studies or extracurricular, this is that cousin we don't want to have lol. You can express your thoughts very clear and loud, you can be opinionated in various topics and tend to stick to it. Your intelligence is not limited to only the course you study, you expand your knowledge to different topics, especially can like politics or just a person who likes to stay up to date with everyday news and happenings. For some people, this can give a major love relationship earlier in life, if other placements support too then this is a potential placement that can attract a young, beautiful spouse and end up marrying the same person.đđ
Moon in 6th house- You could feel choked with 9-5 jobs, can feel like it sucks out your joy and damages your mental health. You could've been someone who lived a structured life and entered a fine corporate job but it makes you rethink whether you have to continue doing this, you could've resigned from a hectic routine job atleast once or desperately wanting to do so. Your mental state can directly affect your health (happens for everyone but more easily for this placement). You could overthink a lot about something someone said eons ago. You are a conflict avoider, you don't get into anyone's issues or like to be a mediator, you yourself tend to gravitate away from conflicts even if it's directed towards you. Your friends can complain about this how you are not standing up for them but the issue is you can find it hard to stand up for yourself. Overtime this could flip off and you can burst out with a co worker or someone who's been pissing you off, gaining a shocked reaction from everyone. You can change from avoiding conflicts to slamming into the center of it by mentality fluctuations you could gain over time.đđŁ
Let's Learn and Grow Together!đđ
With Love-Yashi â€âĄ
(Here's a GIF I liked sm lol đđ)
Moon in houses part 2 here! âš
MASTERLISTđ
#astrology#blogs#astroblr#astro community#astro observations#astro placements#birth chart#natal chart#astro notes#vedic astro observations#vedic astrology observations#vedic astro notes#vedic chart#vedic astrology#astrology notes#sidereal astrology#sidereal chart#moonchild033#moon in the houses#moon#astrology aspects#astro girlies#astrology community#astrology content#moon in 1st house#moon in 2nd house#moon in 3rd house#moon in 4th house#moon in 5th house#moon in 6th house
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personal taste | jjk
â„ pairing | jeon jungkook x f!reader â„ word count | 1.3k â„ warning(s) | đ smut; established relationship, teasing, bent in half, premature ejaculation, implied cum play, implied oral (f receiving), inexperienced!jk â„ summary | jungkook gets a little too excited and cums early, but he's more than happy to make it up to you. â„ notes | âïžidk man, its 2 am. i hope you enjoy lol
đ masterlist | inbox | AO3 đ
It was safe to say Jungkook wasnât the most experienced of lovers when you first get together. Idol life consumed his adolescence, and by the time heâs a young adult, too many eyes are on his every waking move.
A quick affair is rarely worth the effort, and the ones that are leave much to be desired. Relegated to liquor-soaked make-out sessions, and quick, dirty fucks that leave him filled with more sweat and regret than satisfaction.
Youâd only been dating a few months when he divulged why he got so jumpy any time your hand grazed his thigh, why he broke off your kisses before they got too heated.
He was adorably shy when he expressed how anxious he was about his performance in the bedroom; how the reality might not live up to your expectations.
But he shouldnât have worried, having more than made up for any shortcomings with his eager to please attitude and boundless enthusiasm.
The number of times youâve had sex since getting together can be counted on one hand, but heâs leaps and bounds ahead of where he was when you first started being intimate.
It certainly helps that Jungkook is a dedicated student; throwing himself, as he does with everything in life, full throttle into any and all efforts to learn the secrets of your body.
A quick learner, it isnât long before he can make you cum with a skillful twist of his fingers, a harsh rut of the hips that settles him so deep inside your pussy, your thighs tremble.
Not only is he able to wring orgasm after orgasm out of you, his stamina is insane. Almost to the point where youâre having trouble keeping up with him, having to take little breaks between rounds to gulp down water and catch your breath.Â
So⊠when it happens, itâs altogether unexpected.
But so fucking filthy hot youâre pretty sure you astral project to a higher plane of existence.Â
Youâd been teasing him all day: the brush of your hand across his ass, the skim of your knuckles over the crotch of his pants, pressing close against the wide berth of his back and whispering soft, nasty little nothings into his ear.
Delighting in the blush that crept up the sides of his neck. The cherry red burn of his ears as he gulped, readjusting himself before shooting you a glare.
Jungkook lasts longer than you give him credit for, though thatâs most likely due to his competitive streak. He breaks all the same; however, shoving you into his bedroom as soon as the door to his apartment closes behind you.
So needy and desperate he canât wait any longer, even if the rest of the boys are due to arrive in an hour.
You only just got undressed, the bed creaking under the combination of your weights when he cages you beneath him. His chest flexes with every hurried breath, his ribs expanding with labored puffs of air. His cock bullies its way inside your pussy, hips slotting into place against yours.
âJ-Jungkook,â you whine, your toes digging into his sides as your thighs fall open across his. âSo deep, I - haaah -â
The fat head of his cock nudges against your cervix with every little rut, sparks of pain fissioning out and deepening the warmth fizzling behind your belly button.
Thick and long, he stuffs your pussy to the brim every time without fail, stretching you wide until tears cling to your lashes and your nails dig into his shoulders.
It hurts no matter how long he spends prepping you, but you like it better this way. The pain only enhances the pleasure; deepens, and darkens.
And knowing he has to force his cock those last few inches because your pussy canât take it without assistance always riles you up.
Makes you needy and desperate to take everything he can give like a good girl.
âMm, I know, baby,â Jungkookâs breath hitches as his teeth tug on his lip ring, his eyes - half lidded and greedy - shadowed by the sweaty curtain of his bangs, âFeels so ffuh - fucking good inside you.â
âHhn!â Your fingers inch up the corded muscles of his forearms, caressing over the whorls of ink as they shackle themselves to his elbows as he bends you in half. âRight there, right there. Jus like - ohmygod! - like that.â
Jungkook grunts, rocking into the cradle of your hips harder, the shaft of his cock dragging almost completely out only to slide to the hilt in one thrust. His pelvis grinds against the swollen bud of your clit as he holds himself there, your slick smearing into his skin.
He curses under his breath when your walls flutter, trying to milk him for all heâs worth. âShit! Donât - donât do that, baby. I canât - hnggg - I canât -â
And then his cock throbs hard once, twice.
A litany of soft, breathy exhalations of pure pleasure accompanies the slick echo of your bodies crashing together. Then his head bends low, the dark briar of his hair clinging to his temples. His jaw drops slack, and a devastated moan punches out of his throat.
Muscles ripple into a full body shiver, Jungkookâs sharp hips stuttering against the backs of your thighs. Sticky warmth floods your cunt, and his hazy, lust-blown eyes stare into yours as he pumps you full of cum.
You groan, blinking up at him, âDid you just-?â
Jungkookâs arms buckle.
Flopping down onto you, a sweaty, panting mess, he tucks his hot face into the crook of your neck. Moist breath puffs across your skin, a ticklish awareness skittering down your spine. Goosebumps rise along your arms.
His heartbeat hammers against your ribs.
âYeah, I - IâŠâ Jungkook huffs, his nose dragging over the length of your collarbone, tongue flicking over your skin when he licks his lips. âI did. âm sorry, baby.â
Breathing in through your nose, you card a hand through his sweaty hair. Swallow down the pleading whines sitting on the tip of your tongue. You donât want to embarrass him any more than he probably is.
He hasnât cum this quick since the early days, and youâd rather not ruin the evening by making him spiral.
So even when your pussy flutters, trapped on the edge of an orgasm as his cum leaks out of you, you bite down on your impulses. Resign yourself to being horny for the foreseeable future until you can sneak away and take care of yourself with a vibrator.
âItâs alright, Kook. It happens.â
Your eyes close, and you breathe through your nose, trying to calm the gallop of your heartbeat.
Relaxing seems almost impossible with Jungkookâs constant shifting, but you try your best to get your body on the same page as your mind.
Only for all efforts to go to waste when Jungkook shimmies down between your thighs. The tips of his hair tickle your skin, your lower belly jumping at the sensation.
Furrowing your brow, you peek down at your boyfriend. âKook, whatâre you--?â
Broad palms caress your hips, Jungkook using his thumbs to trace over the jut of bone. His chest glitters under the light, the muscles shifting under his skin almost mesmerizing as he settles on his belly. Forearms hook over the tops of your thighs, and his dark eyes flash with hunger.
His mouth pulls up into an impish smirk. âCan I?â he asks, dropping his gaze to the apex of your thighs. âPlease?â
He giggles when he sees how flustered you get. Syrupy sweet, boyish; altogether too endearing for the current circumstances.
â...Are you serious?â
You canât deny the fresh wave of desire the thought brings - Jungkook with his thick fingers, his tender mouth and soft tongue stroking over swollen, abused flesh - but flap a hand between your bodies in a vague gesture all the same.
âIsnât that kind of - you just, yâknow?â
You arenât the only one affected by the idea, Jungkookâs cock jerking feebly where it rests against his thigh. A pink tongue flicks out to run along the length of his red-bitten bottom lip, toying with his lip ring as his teeth sink into the soft flesh.
He regards you with predatory anticipation.
âYeah,â he says softly. âIâve always wondered what we taste like. Please let me.â
Well⊠who are you to refuse?
#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x you#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#bts x reader#bts jungkook#jungkook fic
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You Belong With Me
James Potter x Reader
Summary: In which despite having rejected you, James feels the uttermost jealousy of someone else being near you
Warnings: Jealousy, rejection, angry/a bit possessive James Potter, regret, arguing, cussing, crying (Let me know if I missed anything)
Word Count: 1.4k
A/N: I honestly donât even know what I was thinking then, but this idea just randomly hit me so here it is lol. Hope you enjoy! â€ïž
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James tightened his hold on his glass of Firewhiskey, his gaze piercing dangerously as he watched you get too close with another guy. He clenched his jaw, downing his drink in one go before he tossed the glass back on the table, rage filling his whole being.
He had no right to feel like this. After all, he was supposed to be in love with Lily, not you. At least, that's what he kept trying to tell himself but as he watched you drape your arms around a Slytherin, both swaying to the music, he felt nothing but pure hatred for the male and absolute jealousy.
You should be in James' arms, not his.
James clenched his jaw, shutting his eyes as he inwardly groaned, as it came back to him once again, the memory so vivid it was as if the young Potter was reliving it once again.
You and James leaned against the railing of the Astronomy Tower, your eyes fixated upon the captivating night sky. You turned your head to look at the hazel eyed beside you, who gazed up at the twinkling stars with a soft smile sitting upon his lips. You and James had been best friends since you were children and your bond only deepened during the many years you spent together at Hogwarts. It was a weekly tradition for the two of you to stargaze together.
Your heart fluttered at the content expression on James' face, nothing but adoration in your eyes for him. Over the years, you didn't realize when but you had fallen for your best friend.
You were in love with James Potter.
However you kept that secret locked away in your heart, knowing James had been chasing after the redhead, Lily Evans, since you all were eleven.
Now as you admired James, the ways his lips curved or the twinkle in his hazel eyes, or his always messy black locks, or the way a dimple appeared whenever he smiled, the words slipped past your lips before you could stop them.
"I love you."
Your eyes widened with horror as James' rounded at that as well, turning to look at you in surprise.
You had mentioned many times how much you loved him but what caught James off guard this time was the way you spoke the words, the emotion behind them indicating a whole other meaning, a confession of you being in love with him.
"What?" He breathed out.
You sighed, knowing it was useless to deny it.
"I am in love with you, James."
"No." James uttered out in horror, taking a step back, causing a crack to form in your heart. "You can't be in love with me. I-I only love Lily."
Despite knowing the truth, your heart still shattered at the words that passed his lips, your eyes brimming up with tears.
Why had you even dared to hope he may reciprocate your feelings?
"I love Lily, Y/n. I could never love you." He said, as the tears slid down your cheeks. "I'm sorry." And with that James spun on his heels and hurried away, leaving you to stare after him, utterly heartbroken.
You had destroyed your own relationship with James, severing off the threads that had bonded the two of you together since forever.
You angrily wiped your face.
Why did every force in the universe always have to work against you?
The two of you haven't spoken since. James seethed as he watched Rosier pull you closer, but what really ticked him off was that your gaze had connected with his, and he knew that you knew what James was really feeling as you observed his very red face, before you inched your face closer to the Slytherin's.
That was the final straw for James Potter.
He immediately took a step in your direction but a hand latched onto his arm, rooting him to the spot.
"Mate, calm down."
James' furious gaze flickered to see who had dared to stop him, his eyes finding the silvery grey irises of his best friend.
Sirius knew exactly what had transpired, all the Marauders did. After all, you had been a fifth of their group, and your absence had impacted them all.
"Prongs, you need to calm down." Sirius instructed again, carefully analyzing James' facial expression.
This only angered the young Potter.
"Stay out of this, Black." He spat out and shrugged off Sirius' hand, ignoring his friend's protests.
James strutted over to you with nothing but fury and jealousy blinding him. When he reached you and Rosier, he shoved the Slytherin back, who shot the Gryffindor a death glare, grabbed your wrist and dragged you through the crowd of bustling and dancing teenagers, ignoring your protests. He finally dropped his hand from you when the two of you were in the silent corridor outside the Gryffndor common room.
You glared at James, who was staring back at you intensely, his jaw clenched.
"What the fuck, Potter?!" You yelled.
"What the fuck were you doing with that Rosier?! You were doing it on purpose!" James retorted back, silencing you for a mere moment before your face hardened.
"I can do whatever the hell I want, Potter, you have absolutely no right over my life!" You screamed at him, throwing your hands up in anger. "You told me you don't love me, you pushed me away, so how in the world do you get to decide what I can do and whom I can be with?! Why does it bother you so much?!" You shrieked at him.
However the next second, your back was pressed against the cold stone wall as James closed the distance between the two of you, caging you in his arms as his lips pressed to yours. You tried to resist, knowing this wouldn't end well, but the feel of him on you ignited a fire that yearned for more and your hands slithered to lock behind his neck, as you both poured out all your emotions into the kiss.
When the need for oxygen became great, the two of you pulled away, James placing his forehead against yours, as the both of you panted.
"This isn't fair to me, James." You breathed out, your eyes brimming once again. "You can't say you want Lily but then not let me live my life either." A tear slid down your cheek as your voice became heavy with emotion.
James lifted his head back, raising his hand to softly brush away your tears, placing a kiss on both of your cheeks before he peered into your y/e/c eyes, his gaze so intense that it seemed he was looking right into your soul.
"I am so sorry, love. I was wrong. I kept telling myself that it's Lily, but," He shook his head rather vigorously, "I've missed you more than ever since that day. My heart keeps calling out to you and I tried to push it down, but seeing you with another made me fully realize that there is no one else I would rather have than you." He confessed, placing his hand on your cheek, relishing in the way you leaned into his touch.
He continued, whilst lovingly caressing your cheek.
"My life is colorless and dull without you, y/n/n. I want you, darling. I... I love you." James uttered out, watching your face flood with astonishment, noticing the way you had stilled in his hold. Knowing he couldn't lose your attention, he went on, "I know I was an absolute jerk to you that day and today, but I promise you my love, if you give me the chance, I will spend the rest of my life, spend each day proving to you how much I really do care for you." James professed, his heart pounding heavily as he awaited your response.
You stared at him in complete shock, eyes round, making James afraid that he had truly lost you for good. However, a rush of relief flooded James' body when your beautiful lips slowly curved up into a tiny smile.
"I'll give you one chance, Jamie, just one."
The biggest smile you had ever seen graced James' face at your answer, and he cupped both your cheeks, "Thank you! Thank you!" He lifted you off the floor, spinning you around before he gracefully set you back on your feet, his arms going to settle around your waist. "I promise you that you will not regret this, darling."
And James Potter lived up to his promise, as each day after that, he made sure to show you how much he truly did love you, and Merlin were you above the clouds to have landed the man of your dreams, disbelief still clawing at you from time to time that James Potter loved you back just as much as you loved him.
âąâ
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#harry potter#sirius black#marauders#marauders era#wizarding world#fanfiction#dreamingofmarauders#james potter#James Potter x reader#James Potter angst#James Potter fluff#James fleamont potter#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#lily evans#jealousy#love#its me serina#james potter fanfiction#james potter imagine#the marauders#read on tumblr#read on wattpad#the marauders era#harry potter marauders#hp marauders#marauders fanfiction#potter#angst with a happy ending#i hope youâre doing well
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The invinsible princess | Chapter 1
"Champions of Europe"
Index | Chapter 2
Masterlist
âCâmom, go talk to her. Look at how miserable she looks.â
âWhy don't you go talk to her?â
âBecause she doesn't fancy me, Gaviâ Ferran smirks.
âThat's something the press made out.â
âOr notâ Ferran shrugs.Â
âIf you don't go talk to her, I will.â
âFermĂn, don't you have a girlfriend?â Gavi says.
âYeah. And?â
âYou can't go talk to the princess. That's cheating.â
âIt's just talking, Gavi. Relaxâ he chuckles.
âUnless the press sees you and then boom! FermĂn the Princeâ Ferran laughs.Â
âFermĂn I of Spain. Sounds cool, I like it. What do you think, Pedri? Pedri?â he says, looking around for his teammate.
âWhere is he going?â Ferran asks.
âHeâs⊠Oh my God, he's walking towards the princess!â Gavi gasps.
âThere he goes. Pedro I of Spainâ FermĂn chuckles
âââââââââââââ
âAnd then it all had been a mistake!â
âThat is so funnyâ my dad laughs. âIsn't it, SofĂa?â
âSo funnyâ I say with my best fake smile.Â
Why am I stuck with a bunch of old men? This is a party to celebrate that Spain just won the Euros. I should be out there mingling with the young people, talking with the players and their families, getting to know them all a bit and properly congratulate them. But no. I'm stuck with a man telling us about his latest golfing trip to Scotland.Â
âSomething similar happened to me last time we went to Mallorcaâ my dad says, making me already disconnect from the conversation. I know which anecdote he is about to share. I probably already know it by heart just from hearing him telling about it to everyone he's met lately. So instead of listening to him, I start looking around.
There are some players dancing with their partners, others playing with their kids (which is the cutest thing ever), others are just chilling⊠And then, there is someone wearing red and a medal around his neck walking towards me. Or trying to.Â
âRight, SofĂa?â my dad says again.
âYeah, yeahâ I nod.Â
One of the good things about him having told this anecdote so many times is that, by now, I also know when he asks for my support and how I have to react to it, what I have to say. Which comes very handy when your eyes are stuck on the guy smiling and standing in front of you, and who is currently moving his head to one side to make you follow him somewhere.Â
âDad, do you mind if I go get myself a refill?â I ask him.
âYes, sure. But just beer.â
âJust beer, I promiseâ I smile before finally leaving the group of men and following Pedri.Â
Oh, yes. Because the guy who had been smiling at me and asking me to follow him, was freaking Pedri GonzĂĄlez.Â
âMaâamâ my bodyguard says behind me. âAre you going somewhere?â
Shit. Fuck. I had forgotten about him.
âI'm just going out to get some fresh air. I'm feeling a bit dizzyâ I say with a nervous laugh.
âAlone?â he says, looking at the glass door that leads outside the room, Pedri waiting on the other side.
âI⊠Ummm⊠It'll be just five minutes.â
âMa'amâŠâ
âFive minutes, Carlos. It's not like he can kidnap me or something with his leg like thatâ I chuckle.Â
âHe cannot, no. But what about others? You are Spain's Princess.â
âBut not the heir. No one cares about me.â
âDon't say that, ma'am.â
âIt's the truthâ I shrug. âAnyway, can I go outside for five minutes? Please? He may just want a photo for his mum.â
âOk, fineâ Carlos sighs. âBut don't leave the building.â
âI won't, I promiseâ I smile before basically running towards the door. He may still regret letting me go.
Once outside, it takes me a moment to find Pedri. When I spot him, he is resting against one of the huge windows, checking the brace he has to wear on his knee.Â
âIs it too uncomfortable?â I ask him as I walk towards him.
âUh?â he says, looking up. And maybe, just maybe⊠I gasped when the lights from outside illuminated his face in all the right places.
âThe brace. Is it uncomfortable?â
âA bit, yeahâ he smiles.Â
âI'm sorry about what happened.â
âThank youâ Pedri smiles again. âThough everything worked out in the endâ he says, touching his medal. âDo you want to try it?â
âOh, I, ummmâŠâ
âHereâ he says, taking it off before walking towards me and putting it around my neck, carefully untucking my hair so it doesn't get tangled with the strap. âPerfect. How does it feel?â
âHeavier than I expectedâ I chuckle.
âIt can't be heavier than a crownâ he laughs.
âI don't know. I've never tried on one.â
âWait, really?â
âYeah. It's not like I'm gonna be the one who is gonna have to wear it. That's my sister, the heir.â
âBut you still are a princess, aren't you? Don't all princesses wear crowns?â
âNope. I may get to wear a tiara one day if I'm invited to a big event like a royal wedding or a reception for someone important, but other than thatâŠâ
âI'm sorry.â
âOh, don't be. Sometimes being the second born that everyone forgets about actually comes with its perks. Like being here today, for example.â
âI thought it was because you liked football.â
âThat tooâ I chuckle.
âAnd football players?â Pedri asks me. âDo you also like them?â
âWhat?â
âMy friends were talking about you fancying Gavi.â
âThat's my sister, not me.â
âHa! I knew it! I knew it was her and not you. But they were so convinced they didn't want to listen to me.â
âI'm used to people mixing us, don't worryâ I say while playing with the medal. âAnd I actually am more into dark haired guys than brunettes like him.â
âAre you?â
âYeahâ I shrug, still focused on the medal.Â
âAnything else you like in your men?âÂ
âWhy are you interested?â I ask him, looking up and at his face, a little smirk on his lips.Â
âJust curious about how the future Prince of Spain could look likeâ he shrugs.
âWell⊠I like men with interesting noses.â
âWhat?â he laughs.
âYeah⊠I don't know how to explain it. But if you look at the list of men I'm attracted to, famous or not, they all have that in common. Yours would actually make the cut.â
âMy nose?â he laughs again.
âI⊠It is too weird, isn't it? Urghâ I say, covering my face with my hands. And that, my friends, is how you ruin things with the guy you are trying to flirt with.Â
âNo, no. Not at all. Is just that no one had complimented my nose before. Most girls talk about my lips.â
âYour lips?âÂ
âThey say they were made to kiss and be kissed. What do you think?â
âWhat?â I say, still covering my face.
âAre my lips kissable or not, your royal highness?â Pedri says, his hands suddenly on mine, moving them away to rest at my sides. But he doesn't let go once they get there. He keeps holding them, his fingers playing with mine, his thumbs sometimes caressing my knuckles or the inside of my wrist and sending waves of heat all the way up my arms.Â
âThey are okâ I manage to say.
âJust ok? I think I'm gonna have to move closer so you can see them betterâ he says, closing the space between us a bit more.Â
âThey just look like lipsâ I shrug. But that's a lie. Because his lips do look made to kiss and be kissed.
âMaybe if we moved towards the lightâŠâ he says, his hands suddenly on my waist, moving me until my back is against the big window, the light once again hitting his face in all the right places.Â
I knew Pedri was handsome, but this handsome? Wow.
âBetter now?â
âLet me seeâŠâ I say as I move forward a little bit, the medal doing it with me and hitting his chest. We are so close right now⊠âNothing. Just lips.â
âWell, if you can't see anything, I'll guess we'll have to try with a different sense. Like touch, for example.â
âWhat?â
âHow does this feel, your royal highness?â he says, gently taking one of my hands and kissing it, the other still resting on my waist.
âYou can start calling me ma'am now. Royal highness is just for the first time you address me.â And how I've managed to give him a protocol lesson while feeling my skin burn on the spot where his lips have been, will forever be a mystery.
âMa'am sounds like something for someone old. What about my lady?â
âYou could also call me by my nameâ I shrug.Â
âWe just met, my lady. Aren't you going too fast?â Pedri smirks.
âMe? Who is the one looking for a way to kiss me?â I smirk back.
âBustedâ he laughs.Â
âThough if you want to kiss me, you just have to ask.â
âOk, then. May I kiss you⊠my lady?â
âYou mayâ I whisper.Â
âThank youâ he smiles. âButâŠâ he says, stopping just as his lips brush against mine. âAfter I've done it, will you tell if my lips are made to kiss and be kissed?âÂ
âI will.â
âA princess must keep her promises.â
âI will, I promise. Now are you going to kiss me or not?â
âAs my lady commandsâ he smirks before finally doing it and kissing me. Pedri⊠the Pedri⊠is kissing me. And it is⊠wow. Just wow. âAnd?â he whispers against my lips.
âI haven't told you to stop.â
âSo bossyâ he chuckes.
âWell, I am your princess, am I not?â
âYou are, yes.â
âThen as your princess, I'm telling you, Pedri GonzĂĄlez, to keep kissing me.â
âWith my lips made to kiss and be kissed?âÂ
âWith your lips made to kiss and be kissed, yesâ I say, making him smile before kissing me again and⊠Oh, my God.
I thought winning the Euros earlier had felt amazing, but I was wrong. Being kissed by him, and in the way he is right now, is what truly feels amazing.Â
âââââââââââââ
âI think this is yoursâ I say, giving Pedri his medal back.
âIt looks better on you, tho.â
âOh, stop itâ I laugh, putting it around his neck, the place where my hands were resting not that long ago.
âIt's the truthâ he shrugs. âAnd do we seriously have to go back in there?â he says, nodding towards the party.
âWe do, yesâ I sigh. âBut, we are meeting again tomorrow.â
âWe are, yes. And you've promised me a tour of the palace. And a princessâŠâ
âKeeps her promisesâ I smile.
âExactlyâ Pedri smiles back. And we stay like that, just smiling like two idiots, until someone clears his throat behind us. Carlos, my bodyguard. âI think that's our cue to go inside.â
âI think it is, yes.â
âDo you think he will send the secret service after me if I kiss you one last time?â he whispers.
âThere is nothing like tryingâ I shrug.
âOk, then. Bro, look the other way!â he says to Carlos while I just laugh, his hands suddenly cupping my face before kissing me one last time. âNo secret service?â he whispers, opening one eye.Â
âNo secret service.â
âThank Godâ he sighs, making me laugh again. âAnyway⊠I should probably go in first, shouldn't I? Distract everyone with my limping so they won't look at you.â
âOh, don't worry. No one looks at me, I'm the invisible princess.â
âOnly someone blind would not look at you, my lady.â
âThank youâ I say, feeling my cheeks getting warm. We've been kissing and flirting, and him saying that is what finally makes me go shy. âBut like I told you, I don't mind being invisible sometimes. Thisâ I say, playing with the strap of his medal. âWould have not been possible if I was the heir. And the secret service would have definitely jumped at you the moment you got too close.â
âLucky me, thenâ Pedri smiles.
âLucky usâ I smile back. âNow go. I can see Carlos getting impatient.â
âUrgh, fine⊠See you tomorrow?â
âSee you tomorrow.â
âOk. Good night, my ladyâ he says, kissing my cheek.
âGood night, sirâ I giggle as I watch him walk back into the party, laughing one more time when he turns around to look at me and blows me a kiss.
âFeeling better, ma'am?â Carlos says behind me.
âMuch betterâ I smile.Â
âThen I'm sorry about what I'm about to tell you, ma'am.â
âWhat?â I say, turning around to look at him.
âIt's about him, about Pedri. Something I heard his friends talking about when I went back inside to give you some⊠privacy.â
âCarlos, you are starting to worry me.â
âI⊠I'm sorry, ma'am.â
âââââââââââââ
The next dayâŠ
âMy lady.â
âPedri.â
âI wasn't expecting to be offered croquetas at the royal palaceâ he chuckles, nodding at the table in front of us.
âYeah, well.â
âWhen we met earlier it was kind of awkward, wasn't it? Shaking hands with your parents and your sister, acting as if we didn't know each other and nothing had happened last nightâŠâ
âDid something happen last night?â I ask, eating an olive and finally looking at him. âBesides you winning the Euros, I mean.â
âWe⊠you⊠what?â he says with a confused look.
âI don't remember anything important happeningâ I shrug.
âYou don't⊠Oh. Oh, I get it. You are teasing me because out here someone could hear usâ Pedri says, looking around at his teammates. After meeting the whole team inside the palace, we are now in the gardens, everyone chatting, having a drink and relaxing before they have to go to Cibeles to celebrate.
âI'm not teasing you, Pedri. I don't remember anythingâ I shrug again. âWait, no. I do remember one thingâ I say, moving forward. âThat you are a dickâ I whisper in his ear before walking away.
âThat I'm what? What are you talking about?â he says before following me.Â
âIs your hearing also injured?â
âMy hearing is perfect, my ladyâ he says, struggling to keep up with me. âWhat I don't understand is why.â
âWhy what?â I say, suddenly stopping. We've walked away from where everyone else is, kind of hidden behind some bushes.
âWhy are you calling me a dick? What did I do?â
âDo you seriously have to ask?â I laugh.
âYeah.â
âI can't believe itâ I laugh again. âYou fucking used me, Pedri!â
âWhat?â
âYou used me to have a laugh with your friends! You made a bet with them to see who could get a kiss from me first!â
âWhat?â he says again, looking more and more confused by the second.
âCarlos heard them talking about it, so don't you dare try to deny it. I'm sure you all had a laugh this morning when you told them everything that happened between us.â
âWe don't⊠IâŠâ
âI was an easy target, wasn't I? The poor princess that no one looks at, the one who always is in the shadow of her sister, who always is the second option. I'm sure you felt so proud when you told them how easily I fell for your charms, how stupid I was. But not anymore, you hear me. Not anymore.â
âThat's not what happenedâ Pedri says, grabbing me by the arm when I try to walk away, earning himself a even more deadly look than the ones I was already giving him. âSorry. I'm sorryâ he says, letting go. âBut please let me explain myself.â
âWhy? Why would I do that? You manipulated me once, you could do it again. I am that stupid.â
âYou aren't stupid, and I didn't manipulate you. IâŠâ he says, running a hand through his hair. âThe boys were talking about who could get you out of your misery, that's true. We were watching you talking with your dad and those men, and you looked so⊠Bored. Like you wished to be anywhere but there. But I wasn't part of it, I swear. I actually was getting mad while listening to them and the way they were talking about you. So before any of them found the guts to go talk to you just for fun, I did it myself. Not the go talking with you for fun part. The one about finding the guts to go talk to you. Because I⊠I have a bit of a crush on you.â
âWhat?â I laugh.
âYeahâ he says, nervously touching his cheek. A cheek that had turned almost as red as his Spain's shirt. âHere, lookâ he says, taking his phone out of his pocket. âI have proof.â
âProof of what? You being an idiot?â
âAn idiot for you, yesâ he says, showing me what he had been looking for on his phone. âIt's a WhatsApp conversation I had with my brother yesterday before the game when it was announced that you were attending. You can check the date and the time, it isn't fake.â
Your girlfriend is gonna be at the game tonight đ€ If you win she may give you a kiss đ Instead of Casillas and Sara Carbonero, Pedri and the princess âœđžđ»đ©đ»ââ€ïžâđâđšđ»Â
âThis⊠This means nothingâ I say, giving him his phone back.Â
âI can show you more messages from him teasing me about it. Look.â
People are shipping Gavi with the princess after the game đ Maybe he could introduce you to her little sister đ Gavi king and you prince đ
âI⊠PedriâŠâ
âEverything that happened last night was real. I swear itâ he says. âI didn't kiss you because of a bet with my friends. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I like you.â
âYou don't know me. Like, you barely know anything about me, only what the press publishes.â
âI know enough. Because to meâ he says, taking one of my hands on his, his thumb caressing my knuckles like he had last night. âTo me you aren't invisible or someone's shadow. To me, you shine brighter than anyone else. King, queen, heir to the throne or whatever.â
âThat's so cheesyâ I chuckle.
âBut the truth.â
âPedri, IâŠâ I say, meeting his eyes. He isn't lying. Everything he's said about kissing me because he wanted to and not because of a bet, about liking me, about me not being the invisible princess I always believe myself to be⊠All that is true. I can see it in his face, on his blushed cheeks, in his eyes. He is being honest about it all. âI believe you.â
âYou⊠You do?â
âI doâ I nod.
âThank Godâ he sighs. âI thought any moment now you would call the secret service and they would send me to⊠Where do they send people when they arrest them?â
âCan't tell you. It is the secret service for a reasonâ I wink.
âMakes senseâ he chuckles. âBut does this mean that I am not a dick anymore orâŠ?â he says, closing the space between us a bit.
âWell⊠There is something you could do to make me completely forget about itâ I say, also moving closer towards him.
âSomething like what?â he asks, his other hand finding mine, now both his thumb caressing my skin, bringing back the waves of heat I felt last night.Â
âYou could kiss me with those lips of yoursâ I smirk.
âHere?â he says, looking around. âWhat if someone comes this way and sees us? Like someone from the team, your dad or⊠your mum. Your mum is quite scary, you know?â
âOh, I knowâ I laugh. âBut if we move over hereâŠâ I say, walking us behind a big tree, my back against it. âNo one will see us. We'll be⊠invisibleâ I smile.
âYou are anything but invisible, my ladyâ Pedri smiles back, his hands letting go of mine and moving to rest on my waist.
âThen show meâ I say, wrapping my arms around his neck.Â
âWill you then give me a tour of the palace? You promised it last night, and a princessâŠâ
âKeps her promises, I know.â
âExactlyâ he smirks.
âFirst we kiss, then we do the tour. But just so you know, Carlos will probably join us.â
âWait, is he here?â Pedri says, looking around, his eyes wide.
âHe may be hiding behind a bush, yesâ I laugh.
âShit. If he sees together after what he heard last nightâŠâ
âI'll explain everything to him, don't worry. But if you are being serious about getting to know meâŠâ
âDeadly.â
âThen you better start getting used to his presence.â
âI think I can do that. Because youâ he says, brushing his nose against mine and making me giggle. âAre worth it, my lady. So worth itâ Pedri says before finally kissing me again, making me feel what he has been telling me since we met: that I'm not just someone's shadow, a second option. That I am not the invisible princess anymore.Â
#pedri#pedri gonzalez#pedri x reader#pedri gonzalez x reader#pedri imagine#pedri gonzalez imagine#pedri fanfic#pedri gonzalez fanfic#football fanfic#football imagine
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Recharge
Based on the mha manga finale
"Your childhood friend is taking too many extra shifts; he'll pass out soon at this rate."
Aizawa does that a lot lately; he casually walks into Izuku's classroom or his office, only to drop random information about Katsuki. It's usually something Aizawa disapproves of.
Izuku sighs, looking up at the window from all the essays he has to grade. Lately, Katsuki is making him worry too much.
The funny thing is that Aizawa believes he has some secret power to make pro hero Katsuki stop or change his mind; sure, they're friends, and he often listens to Izuku (yes, he also pays him a lot of visits) but it's not like the young teacher can work miracles.
"I'll talk to him," he promises. This time, he needs to think about something to make him take a break. He doesn't want Katsuki to end up hurt during one of his missions because he's too tired to focus.
Izuku spends a couple of minutes staring down at his phone; thinking about what to text Katsuki. The truth is that they see each other pretty much every week, and he's the one who usually asks Izuku if he can go to his apartment or hang out with him.
Izuku never reaches out first and it's not because he doesn't want to; the only reason he doesn't ask Katsuki to come is because he's aware how hard it's for pro heroes to make time for social stuff. Besides, he doesn't want to bother him.
Now, it's been two weeks since he last saw Katsuki; Izuku has been thinking about it even before Aizawa approached him, but he refused to mention anything about that to Katsuki because he didn't want to annoy him. He had decided to wait because it was obvious Katsuki hadn't contacted him for a reason.
However, if it's because he's been overworking himself on purpose, Izuku needs to make him stop before he collapses or at least try to talk to him out of it.
Hi, Kacchan!
Do you have time today to hang out with me? We can stay at my place and order takeout!
He sends it before he regrets it. Izuku bites his bottom lip, but forces himself to look at the works he's grading because he seriously needs to get back to it.
Katsuki answers just a few minutes later, and it's a bit surprising considering how busy Aizawa said he was.
I have another patrol later today. I won't be free until 2 am. But maybe I can come over in two days?
Is it his second one in a day or his third? Izuku's mind fills itself with anxious thoughts and wonders when was the last time Katsuki had a proper night's sleep. Why is he overworking himself? Pro heroes make good money, he shouldn't be struggling financially...
He doesn't ask any of those questions or tells Katsuki to reschedule. Izuku has no idea why Aizawa is always so sure he can make Katsuki change his mind. His friend has more important things to do now; honestly, it's a miracle he finds the time to hang out with Izuku once a week.
He shouldn't insist, but Izuku decides to be honest.
Don't worry about it! We can see each other when you have more time!
I just miss you, that's all! Good luck with your patrol, Kacchan!
Izuku leaves his phone next to him on the table, takes a deep breath, and gets determined not to worry about his friend for a while.
An hour later, he gets another text from Katsuki.
Ashido is going to take that last patrol. I'll be at your place at 6 pm.
Izuku grins before going back to his own work, determined to finish everything by 5; he'll have enough time to take a shower and tidy his apartment a bit before Katsuki arrives.
Just when he's done with the essays, he gets another message.
I miss you too.
Izuku has to cover his face after that one; he's not sure why it makes him blush.
***
Izuku is more or less satisfied with his work when there's a knock at his door. Katsuki is at the other side, hair still dripping wet from his shower, wearing casual clothes and carrying a few boxes of takeout.
"Kacchan!" Izuku beams, making his friend smile in response. He takes the boxes from his hands and walks towards his little kitchen as the pro hero takes his boots off and leaves them at the entrance.
He's still way taller than Izuku, even without the boots.
"You brought katsudon!" The excitement in his voice is obvious, but he doesn't try to hide it. "Thank you, IâKacchan?"
He turns around, only to be pulled into a tight embrace; Katsuki tilts his head down in order to nuzzle against Izuku's green curls. He takes a deep breath.
"I missed you so much, nerd," he mumbles, sincerely, almost like he can't stop himself from doing it.
Izuku giggles, hoping the blush on his cheeks is not too obvious, and he tries to step away, only for Katsuki to pull him right back into his arms with a grumpy huff.
"Wait. I need to recharge," the pro hero insists, resting his head on the teacher's shoulder. "Alright. I'm better now. Besides, you must be hungry."
Only when Izuku takes a few steps back he notices how tired Katsuki actually looks. There are shadows under his eyes, his face has a few cuts, and Izuku just knows his muscles must be killing him.
Narrowing his eyes, the green haired teacher cups his friend's face, watching as Katsuki closes his eyes and surrenders into the touch.
"I'll fix those scratches, and I bring you something for the sore muscles. Sit here," Sometimes Izuku gets a little bit bossy when he's worried, but he doesn't realize it until it's too late.
Besides, Katsuki never complains, in fact, he does as Izuku asks without hesitation.
After he patches the pro hero up, trying not to get distracted by his intense stare, Izuku sets a few plates and arranges the counter so they can eat together.
They eat mostly in silence, although it's difficult for him to focus just on his delicious food because Katsuki keeps staring at him.
His face is slightly warm, and he gets so flustered he decides to talk about his students and then ask about Katsuki's day.
When Katsuki starts mentioning his shifts and patrols, Izuku decides to bring up the topic that has been worrying him the most.
"So you've been taking extra shifts?"
Katsuki nods, exhaustion visible on his features.
"You should take a break, Kacchan. Maybe a day off."
"I'm fine."
Even though Katsuki has changed, he's still as stubborn as he was when they were teenagers.
Izuku tries not to roll his eyes.
"I'd like to see you more often," he mumbles, feeling nervous. "I miss you when you're not here."
It's completely true, but part of him regrets saying it; it's not like Katsuki has time to make Izuku feel better. They're just friends.
"I'll try not to take too many shifts," Katsuki surprises him saying. His cheeks are slightly pink too. "So we can hang out more."
The young teacher beams in response, unable to hide his joy. Katsuki smiles back, leaning closer, looking flustered too.
"It's just... I have a project," he says after a while. "And I need to save a lot of money for it. It's... really important to me."
Oh. Izuku understands and he also has the feeling Katsuki doesn't want to give him too much information about it; it's okay. He'd do the same if he wasn't sure he was going to make it happen.
He can see how important it is for him in the way his red eyes shine. Izuku is almost sure Katsuki is going to open his own agency! It must be that!
"Will you tell me more once it's ready?"
Katsuki grins from ear to ear before getting closer to him; for a moment, his exhaustion vanishes as those red eyes meet Izuku's. He grabs both his hands in his.
"I promise. I can't wait for you to see it, Izuku."
There's something about the way Katsuki says his name that has Izuku blushing even more; his eyes stare at him with something close to adoration, but he's not sure and he certainly doesn't want to get the wrong idea so the teacher decides to ignore it.
He jumps from his seat and starts cleaning the counter before doing the dishes instead.
Katsuki offers to help, but Izuku asks him to wait in the living room while he finishes.
"You should stay tonight," he whispers next to him, leaning over the couch after a couple of minutes. He catches Katsuki dozing off.
The pro hero must be truly exhausted.
"What?" Red eyes blink back open in a second. The words seem to have caught him off guard. "You mean..."
"Yes," Izuku smiles, noticing that Katsuki is leaning closer. "Stay with me."
"But what... I mean, we should at least talk about it first," the pro hero blurts out, flustered, his face turning into a deep shade of red that makes the teacher worry. "I don't want this to be a casual thing. Besides, I have neverâ"
"What do you mean casual?" He cuts the blond off, feeling completely lost. "Well... If you want to, we can have regular sleepovers! What about every two weeks or so?"
It's perfect! That way, Katsuki wouldn't be able to take that many extra shifts!
The noise of Katsuki facepalming himself is so loud it startles Izuku. That big hand slides down his features like he's trying to gather some patience and strength at the same time.
"Of course you were talking about a sleepover," he mumbles so quietly the teacher wonders if he heard it wrong. Then, staring back at Izuku, he adds: "Yes, we can do that."
"Great!"
***
"I'm not wearing that!"
"Come on, Kacchan!" Izuku pouts, looking at the oversized All Might t-shirt and the pants that might not go along with it, but they're the same brand and are, in fact, very comfortable.
"Listen, I own a few things that are All Might themed too, but this is just awful," Katsuki grimaces, looking at the clothes like they have offended him personally.
"You can't sleep on those jeans," the green haired teacher protests. "You won't be able to sleep properly. Besides, this is the only thing I have that you can wear. My clothes are too small for you. I promise this really comfy! I love to wear these to sleep!"
Katsuki visibly relaxes when Izuku says that last bit; he looks from him to the clothes a couple of times.
"You wear these to sleep? Aren't they too big for you?"
"Yes, but I love oversized clothes!" Izuku smiles.
The pro hero stares down at him for a couple of seconds without saying anything; Izuku wonders if he forgot about what they were talking about when he suddenly blinks, snapping himself out of it, and then turns slightly pink.
"Fine. I'll see if I have something elseâ"
"No," Katsuki yanks the clothes right from Izuku's hands. "I'll wear them."
When Katsuki joins him in the living room again, he admits to himself that his friend was absolutely right about the clothes.
They fit him, but they don't look like his style at all.
"You look like a nerd, Kacchan," Izuku says before bursting into laughter.
"You little shit! This was all a trap to make me wear this crime against fashion! My parents would have a stroke if they saw me in this!" He lunges towards Izuku, making the teacher laugh even harder.
When Katsuki catches him in his arms, prompting them to fall over the couch, Izuku realizes the pro hero is chuckling too.
However, when the laughter dies, they're still wrapped around one another on the couch, and Katsuki refuses to look away from Izuku; the younger teacher gets too flustered he pushes his friend away.
"Let's watch a movie!"
Katsuki insists he needs to recharge first and the best way to do that is if he's as close to Izuku as possible so he ends up with the pro hero's head over his lap.
They only watch the first half of the movie, and Izuku is not sure Katsuki watched it at all because he caught the pro hero staring up at him a couple of times instead.
Katsuki falls asleep quickly after Izuku starts running his fingers through his blond hair.
The teacher sighs, turns the TV off and checks his mail on his phone while Katsuki sleeps. He reads a few of his students' works for a while before carefully waking Katsuki up.
They have a "discussion" about who gets to sleep on Izuku's bed, and the teacher ends up losing, so he brings an extra futon to the living room so Katsuki can sleep comfortably.
The pro hero wakes up first and is already making breakfast for two when Izuku walks out of his bedroom.
They chat for a while before Katsuki gets ready for work.
At the entrance, he hesitates right after putting his boots on before turning around again and pulling Izuku into a hug.
"Recharging?" He chuckles, hugging him back.
"More like getting some extra energy for the day." He whispers as he nuzzles against Izuku's curls.
"Okay, Kacchan."
"Let's do this next week," he says, smiling down at him, thumb stroking the teacher's scar on his right cheek.
"Yes!"
"I'll see you this Friday, Izuku."
***
As soon as he sees Ashido's smirk at the other side of the break room, Katsuki sighs, but he still walks towards her.
"I'm guessing it went really well with Midoriya. You haven't stopped smiling since you got here."
Katsuki is really bad at hiding his true feelings for Izuku, which is why he finds it ridiculous and frustrating how the nerdy teacher hasn't realized it himself yet.
"Yeah."
"I don't know if I should feel glad because it looks like you slept through the night or sorry because he didn't keep you awake."
Ashido wiggles her eyebrows in such a way Katsuki is not sure why he keeps falling for her stupid teasing.
But he blushes anyway and swears he'll never tell her that for a moment he thought Izuku wanted to sleep with him.
He would have done it gladly, but he would have professed his undying love for Izuku first because Katsuki doesn't do things by halves.
Loving Izuku is a lifetime commitment.
"SHUT UP!"
"Fine," she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. "You're no fun."
Katsuki grabs the bento Izuku shoved into his hands that morning, as he made him promise he'd take a lunch break.
That's the only reason he's there.
"How's the suit going?" Ashido asks then, prompting Katsuki to smile again.
"Great. Hatsume is finally done with Izuku's gauntlets. I'll see her this afternoon to test them myself."
"He's going to love it," she assures him, putting a hand over his shoulder.
"I know," Katsuki mumbles, smiling down at his bento.
He can't wait to show it to Izuku. To see him wearing it.
It's going to take a while, but he'll get there eventually; he'll help Izuku fulfill his dream.
***
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Bad moon rising II
Summary: After a nasty divorce, you and your family are forced to live with your Grandpa in the lovely notorious Santa Carla, California. Filled with punks, geeks, surfer nazis and apparently all kinds of creatures of the night.
Word count: 2.9k
Poly!lost boys x Emerson!reader
[1] [2] [3] [4]
A/n: I am gonna be 100% honest with all of yall, I have cried, yelled at myself, and threaten to throw my phone across the room. Because I had no idea how to get the reader and the boys to meet. So, this honestly will probably suck, but I have tried my hardest. Spent too many hours deleting and rewriting for this to be bad. So please enjoy if can
The board walk was unlike anything youâve ever seen before. It was packed full of bustling people, everyone wanting to go through all the rides, shops and games that they had on display.Â
Lights came from all around, aluminating your way through the crowd as you tried to decide what to do first on the boardwalk. Screams and laughter sounded from the rollar coaster ride, the bumps and spins tempted you, but you knew that youâd need to ease your way into everything.Â
This would be the moment when youâd wish that Sam or Micheal had come with you, they would try to do everything at once. But, unfortunately, right as you three had arrived; the boys had caught wind of a concert, ditching you to go watch Timmy Cappello perform.Â
Treacherous dicks. You called them, wishing that at least one of them would have stuck with you as you ventured where youâd be spending the remainder of your summer.Â
You wiped your palms against the fabric of your shorts, the heat of the night air causing a faint sheen of sweat to coat your body. After youâd finished unpacking all the necessities from the car, youâd taken a quick shower and changed for a night out on the board walk.
And thankfully so, the gentle breeze against your bare legs cooled you down enough for you to actually enjoy the night out.Â
Chimming bells suddenly grasped your attention, facing the noise, you saw a small shop that was isolated from the others. One of the stores windows was cracked, a piece of cardboard covered the inside to prevent the glass from falling out.Â
It was a music shop.Â
You remembered when your dad would take you as a kid, letting you pick out cassette tapes, and vinyl records for your room. The old record player would run all day from how many times you would listen to Elvis, Buck Owenâs, and The mamĂĄs & the papas.Â
It was such a shame that you had to sell the record player and half of your vinyl collection to help out after the divorce. With such little money, you had to make sacrifices for your family. No matter how much you regretted it afterwards.
You glanced up at the sign above the door, a wooden guitar with the words Soundscape etched into the body, swayed against the gentle breeze. A young couple walked out of the store, hand in hand, a paper bag with their purchase held tightly as they ambled away.Â
Reaching into your pocket, you felt around for your wallet. The small leather bound material felt weighted as you pulled it out, the sudden urge to spend your money caused you to open the door of the shop.Â
The bell rang above you, and a quick greeting sounded from the cashier. You politely greeted him back before wandering throughout the store.Â
It was decently clean, a few stray cdâs littered the ground and a couple display posters were a bit too crooked. But, overall, it was perfect for you.Â
You trailed your fingers over a couple of vinyls, picking up a few before putting them back in place. Not really looking for anything specific at the moment, you just tried to find something that would catch your eye.Â
Stopping infront of the cassette tapes, you let yourself go through each row, the soft clicking as the cassettes bumped against each other drifted up towards your ears. That and the sound of Jeff Lynneâs voice singing Donât bring me down, was the only noise that filtered throughout the store.Â
Your finger graced an Elvis cassette, the image of him and his infamous guitar sat in the clear case. Picking up the tape, you flipped it over reading the listed songs that went with each side. It had a couple good ones; like Blue Suede Shoes, All Shook Up, Return To Sender, Burning Love and of course some others.Â
It was his top greatest hits from each album.Â
You tapped the plastic against your palm, debating if you should spend the money just to add to your Elvis collection. You actually had a lot of collections that you needed to complete, but, with this specific artist you only had small handful left to find.Â
Kinda like Samâs Batman comics that heâs been trying to find at every book store that youâd passed on the way down here.Â
The bell suddenly rang once more, dragging your attention away from the shelf infront of you. A group of men walked in, each leather clad and mullet wearing. The smell of smoke drifted off of them, wafting through the store. It made you scrunch your nose in disgust.Â
âWelcome to the SoundScape,â The Cashier told them, the rehearsed words falling easily out of his mouth. âIf you need any help, please let me know.â
None of the guys acknowledged the worker, or, they did though they just didnât pay him any mind. You watched as they each dispersed from one another, going to different displays around the store. Picking up random items before putting them back where they originally were.Â
One of the guys walked down the same row you were on, his eyes trailing over the selection of cassettes. You returned your gaze back to your own tape, not wanting to be caught staring at the guy like a creep.Â
Eyeing the rack infront of you, wondering if you should buy the Elvis tape or possibly another. If youâd had enough money on you. You kept your eye on a Boney M. cassette, the item practically calling your name. You reached forward fingers less than an inch away from the plastic when a sudden commotion caused you to freeze.Â
BAM!
Your head instantly shot up, the sudden noise disturbing the once peaceful silence. It came from a guy in the leathered group, the small one with curly hair, he stood over a fallen display of cdâs. His hands held up in the air, a small smug grin tugging on his lips as he turned to the stores worker.Â
âIâm sorry, man.â He told him, his apologie laced with sarcasm. âIt just started falling.â
The cashier let out a deep sigh, his smile turning from genuine to forced as he eyed the scattered items. âItâs alright, accidents happen.â
You watched as the curly guy bent down and picked up the stand, purposely hitting the one right beside it as he did so. He let out another fake apology before the worker shooed him away, picking up everything himself before curly messed up the entire store.Â
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the movement of the blond beside you shove something in his pocket. You turned you head slightly, to get a better view, and you watched as he took another cassette from the shelf and put it on the inside of his jacket.Â
You glanced between him and the other three guys that he came in with, noticing that with the worker busy they were taking items off of their display and stuffing them deep into their clothes. Hell, the curly guy was trying to fit a whole vinyl record in the front of his shirt. A very prominent square outlined for everyone to see.Â
It was a diversion, knocking over enough stuff for the counter guy to get pissed and pick everything up himself. It was clever, but still wrong.Â
With your attention kept on the tapes infront of you, you opened your mouth. Voice low enough so that only the blonde next to you could hear. âYou shouldnât do that.â
The man glanced up at you, not at all ashamed of what he was doing. âWhatâs that?â
âYou shouldnât steal.â
He let out a quiet laugh, leaning his upper body against the shelf. âOh, really?â He asked, voice drawing out into a tease. âWanna tell me why I shouldnât, babe?â
You gestured to the store around you, eyes meeting his. âBecause, its wrong. And, just because you and your friends canât see that, doesnât mean that itâs right.â
âWell, me and my friends seem to think it pretty damn fun.â He told you, pushing off the shelf as he took a few small steps towards you. âSo, your reasoning is pretty much useless in this case.â
The guy stood a mere foot away from you, his eyes trailing across your face. His smile growing ever so slightly as he took you in. âSo, watcha gonna do about it?â He asked, voice soft and teasing as he held a tape infront of you.Â
âPut it back.â
âWhy? There is no fun in doing the right thing.â He waved the item in your face. âIs there, babe?â
You snatched the cassette from his grasp, eyes not once leaving his as you placed it randomly on the shelf. âPut âem all back.â You scolded, voice rising ever so slightly. âItâs shitty and disrespectful for the ones that try to make a living working in places like this.â
He glanced over the top rack, eyeing the worker with disinterest. âYeah, but, itâs also disrespectful to have to work at a place like this.â He turned back to you. âSo, if he gets fired then heâll come and thank us.â
You opened your mouth to retaliate, wanting to tell him how much his point didnât make since. When you notice how quiet the store had gotten, the music coming from the speakers and the worker picking up the cds were the only thing. Glancing around you couldnât see the guys friends, all of them gone from where they originally were.Â
âYeah, Paul, put it back.â A voiced suddenly called from beside you, arm slinging itself across your shoulder.Â
Peering beside you, you saw the curly haired guy, his eyes dancing between both you and Paul. You didnât even hear him come up behind you, in fact you didnât even know that he had moved from where he was across the store.Â
You pushed off his arm, the feeling of his body pressed up against your own made your face heat up. Looking back at Paul, you noticed how his body seemed to get more ecstatic, smile forming into a friendly tease. âOh, yeah? Why donât you put up that vinyl of yours.â He tapped against the cardboard beneath the fabric.Â
Curly swatted his hand away, pulling the vinyl from beneath his shirt and dropping it on the floor. You eyed the disc on the ground, annoyance seeping into your chest at the disregard of store.Â
âPick it up.â You told the smaller one, side stepping away from them both to give yourself some room.Â
He tsked, eyes roaming your body up and down. âWell, arenât you a bossy one.â
âI wouldnât be bossy if youâd stop fucking-â
âWatch your mouth.â A different voice spoke up, stopping you from finishing your sentence. You glanced over at the voice, taking in his long overcoat and bleach blonde hair. âItâs not nice to treat strangers that way.â
You furrowed you eyebrows, âIf your saying Iâm being rude, than thatâs really the last thing I care about right now.â
A few small snickers came from around you, causing you to look around at each men that surrounded you. The two blondes stood the closest to you, giving you just a foot of breathing room. Then there were the the bleach blonde and brunette. They stood the furthest from you, but their stares alone were enough to make you feel like they were everywhere at once.Â
Your body felt like it was on fire underneath their gazes, that and your dignity slowly burning away as realized how much of a fool you must look like right now. You quickly crouched down, picking up the vinyl and gently setting it on the shelf. Not really caring that itâs not where it belongs right now.Â
Someone cleared their throat. You and the guys turned your attention towards the worker, who stood behind the counter with a wet rag. âWeâre closing.â He told them, nodding toward the door with little patience. âIf your gonna buy something, now is the time.â
You gave him a quick âokâ, forced smile gracing your features as you turned to face the men. You eyed them wearyingly, knowing that they could just easily walk out of here without doing at all what youâve been asking.Â
A soft chuckle came from the bleach blonde, a smug smirk playing on his lips as he placed a hand on Paulâs shoulder. âCâmon, Paul.â He said, turning to walk out of the store. âPut âem back, we got places to be.âÂ
You watched as he pulled out a cd, the front of the case covered in a band called Scorpion. He set it down on the shelf, his eyes not once leaving your own. âWeâll see you around.â He muttered, voice low and mesmerizing to hear as he spoke.
It was almost like a fly getting caught in honey. Alluring and sticky, but, itâs just a trap for the prey.Â
You didnât acknowledge his words, instead you just watched as he walked out, the others slowly trailing after him. The brunette hadnât muttered a single word since entering the store, and apparently didnât feel the need to as he stepped outside.Â
Curly slowly wandered towards the door, turning swiftly to wave his fingers at you before disappearing behind the glass. A simple âHave a nice nightâ spilling from his lips as he did so. Paul then turned to walked out, his arm resting across your shoulder slide off. Hand coming up to pinch your nose. âYeah, weâll be seeing ya around.â He told you, voice indicating that it wasnât a suggestion, but more of a promise.Â
Swatting his hand away from your face, you watched as he chuckled, walking away as he went to join his friends. Leaving you all alone in the isle, with nothing but your Elvis tape and flustered face.Â
Engines revved outside as you walked up to the cashier, the sound of the fading bikes meeting your ears as you tossed the cassette on the counter. The worker rang you up, placed your item in a paper bag and thanked you for your purchase. You quietly wished him good night, before turning on your heal and walking outside.Â
You were quickly met with the warm night air, the loud noises coming from the boardwalk surrounded you once more. You held on tightly to the paper bag, the cassette softly rattling inside as you quickly walked away from the Soundscape.Â
You were still flustered from your interaction with the four boys. The feeling of their bodies pressed up against your own made the night heat all the more unbearable. What if I would have just left them alone? You thought, swerving through a group of people that waited patiently for the carousel.Â
They still would have taken from the shop, and that guy wouldâve probably lost his job from all the items missing. But, you wouldnât have lost some of your dignity whilst doing so.Â
A sigh left your lips, unoccupied hand going into your jacket pocket. Though instead of the feeling of the scratchy fabric, your fingers graced against a peice of cold plastic. You stopped walking, standing by your lonesome in the middle of the boardwalk as you pulled out whatever rested in your pocket.Â
It was a Scorpion cd. The same one that you saw the bleach blonde pull from his coat. You hadnât even felt him slip the item in your pocket, was it when you were getting on to him or when he was leaving? Was he even the one that slipped it in?
Stupid prick, you thought. Stuffing the disk into the paper bag with your Elvis one, there was no sense in returning it now. The shop was already closing up and how would you even explain that to the poor worker.Â
You shook your head, the events of the night tiring you out.Â
From a distance you could see both Sam and Micheal standing in the middle of the boardwalk, their attention caught on a girl and little boy. You made your way over to your brothers, the paper bag swaying in your hand as your feet picked up.Â
Sam greeted you when you came near, his long over coat brushing against his shoes. âHeâs been following her since the concert.â He told you, gesturing with his hand towards the pretty girl.Â
âMmh, hey, peeping Tom.â You tugged on Micheal sleeve, trying to pull him away. âIâm ready to go home.â
He didnât acknowledge you, his eyes staring longingly at the back of the girls head. You pulled once more at his arm, barely getting him to move when the sudden loud noise of multiple vehicles rushed on the boardwalk. Glancing towards the disturbance, you watched as four familiar bodies stopped infront of the girl and boy.Â
They each revved their engines, purposely scaring away anyone that too close. You watched as the little boy made his way over to one of the motorcycles, the brunette pulling him up to sit behind him.Â
The girl placed her arm across the bleach blondes chest, hosting herself onto the back of the motorcycle. âCâmon, man, she played you.â Sam told his brother, pulling him away from his rooted spot on the deck. You stayed put for a second, slowly trailing after your brothers as the engines of the bikes faded from earshot.Â
Your mind going to when exactly youâd be seeing them again.Â
A/a/n: Like I said, this took so long to figure out how exactly the reader and the boys would meet each other. So, I honestly would understand if y'all donât like this, but, trust me the other chapters are going to be a whole lot better.
#tlb 1987#paul tlb#marko tlb#david tlb#dwayne the lost boys#david the lost boys#paul the lost boys#the lost boys#paul lost boys x reader#dwayne lost boys x reader#dwayne tlb#david lost boys x reader#david#the lost boys x reader#the lost boys 1987#marko lost boys x reader#marko#marko the lost boys#poly!lost boys x reader#micheal emerson#sam emerson#emerson!reader
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ah. hm. you know what makes me insane (genuinely) is that none of these people actually gave a shit about liam unless they were punching down on him. caveat: i am not excusing his actions, not by a mile. liam died, and it hurts us. but from maya's perspective, her abuser died today, and i can understand the enormous and complicated relief of that too. so this isn't about her. but. the level of unjustified hatred he receives even in death is. yeah. it's going to make me enraged, because like. every moment spent in the public eye, liam was subjected to bullying and abuse. whether from their management back in the 1D days (yeah! i still remember that shit!) or from their "fans." like. these things don't just happen in a vacuum, people don't break because they experience five seconds of trauma and that was it. there were so many contributing factors to liam's spiral. years of abuse that had nothing to do with his ex. and no one cared! they mocked him and they will mock him still and they will celebrate his death and then when it's someone they like, they'll say "man, how can we let this happen, we need to take the warning signs seriously" like !!!! YEAH. YEAH THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT. AND NONE OF YOU DID. jesus fuck
SAY! THAT! i have not seen a single person i follow excuse anything he did to maya or anyone else. but i have seen people who have continuously looked at liam in bad faith, regardless of context, say that this is so awful and he was so young etc and itâs like. you were dog piling on him! way way way before maya henry said anything incriminating! his death is not about maya henry, his death is about him and the mistreatment and abuse he started receiving when he was a kid that went unchecked and unresolved and turned him into a kind of person he did not want to be. itâs not like he was unaware of his problems. he spoke about his addiction. he spoke about his relationships and the regrets he had and his desire to get betterâhe just didnât get the help he needed!!!!!! that can happen to literally anyone. iâm not going to forgive him for his mistakes bc thatâs not my place but i sure as hell can and will be bitter about people who think they can say this is a tragedy while they were actively contributing to it
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If it is too much trouble could you write about BiĂĄn huĂĄ grooming YuĂĄn FĂšn after a big battle
When traveling, one gets dirty, and one doesn't have much time to clean themselves
Bajie would no doubt have fun at the youngster's expense ïżŒ
"It's not necessary!"
"Yes, yes, it is. You stink." You smelled a little in your armpit; your nose frowned. "And so am I."
He looked around; the fog of the hotspring didn't give him enough visual of his surroundings, and that couldn't give you both a disadvantage in a fight. But the hot water... it was tempting.
He scratched his arm, but it was the nervousness that made him do that. To be honest, all of his body was in an itching mess, especially after your last mission.
You both had been on the road for some time, and you were returning from Yellow Wind Ridge. The sun, the bugs, the sandâyou both were in need of a bath, and YuĂĄn fĂšn? He needed a good grooming session. You could see the small flies jumping here and there on his furr, and trying to help himself wasn't helpful.
So, when you spotted the hotspring, you had an idea... that he regretted the moment you started to remove the upper part of your clothes.
"I can't smell anything! What if someone attacks us?!"
"Bajie is around, so it won't be a problem for now."
"I can do it by myself! I don't need you to help me with a grooming session!"
"You can't reach every part! Come on, you've been bathing with your sister when you were young!"
"That's... not the problem..." He mumbled, his cheeks and ears tinted in a soft shade of pink. You kept your top, and what it was supposed to be was a pair of boxers, so you weren't completely naked, you still had some privacy, and you immerged one foot in the warm water.Â
"Off your clothes now."
"Do I have to?"
"I can't clen your back with your garmet on!" You try to reach his belt, but only to meet hair when he dodges and starts to panick.
"Okay okay! I can do it myself!"
When he finally decided to get in the water, he kept his pants on, refusing to let you see more of his exposed body. By the movements of his tail, he must have been quite nervous. Despite the protests, the complaints, and his whining, in the right moment the warm waters of the spring touched his malnourished skin, a sigh of relief emanating from him. It was true; he really needed that, but he never said that he needed your assistance!
Sitting on a rock behind him, and with the help of a comb, you started to tend to his mane and skin, trying to catch every parasite or insect that had the luck to escape from the boiling.
He said that wasn't necessary. His skin was full of scratches and deep cute from his long and sharp nails. Scabs and new cuts here and there, some knots of fur that couldn't be reached, dandruff... Unnecessary your ass! He was a mess!
"Look at you. If you needed so much, you could just ask!"
"I didn't want to delay the mission." He mumbled, trying to clean his arm from more dust and dirt. The water had some spots from what was removed from him.
"It's a noble gest, but if you end up like this, then it's not a delay at all. Here, I'll do the head now."
You helped yourself with your bowl by pouring some of the water on his head, letting him lean against your tights. You started to scratch gently with the comb his furr, freeing him from more fleas and dead hair.
"Next time, let's bring some soap. It will help. We can even take out time and stay in a bath house."
"..."
"We can even deal with the money?....I mean, how many infested bath houses can be found?"
"..."
"... YuĂĄn fĂšn? Are you listening?"
Oh, how much he needed It. To the point that he completely lost consciousness. The water, the warmth, your soft skin, the head scratch... his senses were completely out. Then, you felt something, like a small vibration, coming from...
No, it couldn't be...
You brought your head nearer, avoiding sudden movements, and you felt it.
He was purring.
You had to cover your mouth to avoid to giggles and squeals for your new find out discovery.
Since when he was able to do that?! OOOHHH, how much you wish that your phone hadn't died a few days ago. After your arrival, you would love to have some videos of him like this!
You continued the session, enjoying the fact that he was literally melting in your hands. You both were completely in the moment when-
"Enjoying the evening, are we?"
Bajie's voice was cracking by the laughter of the scene. The surprise of his sudden arrival caused your fall in the water, resulting in you gasping for air and YuĂĄn fĂšn losing his balance on your legs, receiving a head bump on the rock.
You all left the hotspring for the night, with Bajie making some remarks about the sweet scene that he had witnessed, YuĂĄn FĂšn that still massaged his head, and you wondering how to make that monkey purr again.
@sun-jglim
@sleepingdramaqueen
@crimsonflameproxy
@everlastingmoonlightsworld
@biankanoir
@certifiedsimpinggalorempinggalore
@cromboloni
@miraclecherryblossomsblog
@masksandfeathers
@cinnamonroll-anon
@justrandomlypassing
@cute-angi @luckyangelballoon
@dressycobra7 @naarra
@virtualexpertanchor @phoenixeclipse-lmkau
@szynkaaa @kirax-the-lazy-girl
@sleepydang @weaverworks
@kishimiest @marcu-bug
#black myth wukong#black myth wukong x reader#the destined one#destined one#destined one x reader#sunwukong#sun wukong#wukong#sun wukong x reader#sun wukong x oc#sun wukong x y/n#wukong x reader#wukong x oc#Wukong x y/n#jttw#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#zhu bajie#bajie#x reader#female#fem reader
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Saturn
Hanni Pham x Fem Reader
[ Synopsis ]
Listening to Saturn by Sza has made you think about many things since your last (not-so) relationship, and Hanni is on your side, listening to you yapping your thoughts.
Fluff, Angst, and a tiny bit of cursing :)
[ Word Count ]
1.5k yes it's very very short :(
[ a/n ]
I've been listening to a lot of songs lately and the idea just popped out when I was listening to Sza! It's really cheesy like, really, might be too tacky but oh well :P My first time writing this kind of stuff so it's a mess but do please take it easy on me guys /á ïœĄêïœĄá\ (i suck at writing honestly)
I hope someone out there likes it dis for u bae <3
You've spent your entire year, loving someone. As the "giving it all" type of persona when it comes to relationships even when it's as small as a crush, you really gave it your all. Praising them the chance you got to, making sure to spend lots of quality time together, presenting gifts for no particular reason just because you enjoyed seeing the smile that appeared on their face with the cute little dimple on their cheeks which was one of the many things you liked- no, loved about them.
But maybe it was a little too much or perhaps it was something else. You eventually got tired of pursuing them after a year. Feeling more and more drained as the days passed and feeling that both of your distances hadn't moved an inch, you were debating a lot with yourself. Mixed signals were everywhere but you just couldn't let them go that easily. Like you were stuck in quicksand, trying to get out of it but as you do, you just sink in deeper. Might as well let it sink in and disappear.Â
That was all a year ago, and you were now outside by the beach. Sat by the white sand as you admired how beautiful the waves were even at nighttime. Saturn by Sza was playing on your headphones as you looked up at the dark sky, admiring the little stars you could barely see while the sound of waves was also in the background with the music.Â
If Karma's really real
How am I still here?Â
Just seems so unfairÂ
I could be wrong tho
If there's a point to being good
Then where's my reward?
The good die young and poor
I gave it all I couldÂ
The lyrics hit you hard, earning a bit of a chest pain as you couldn't relate to it more than ever. All the fun memories you had together flooded your mind as you listened to the music. Going to dates where she mostly wanted to go, having late-night calls and talking about almost everything that was going on with your life to each other, all the stupid jokes and the bickering where your friends couldn't take it anymore and the two of you would just laugh it all off.
You had to lose it all. Sometimes you wonder if you've made the wrong decision to let go. Regret washes your entire mind and soul as your tears start flowing non-stop every midnight, reminding you of all of the beautiful memories you just had to trash out because of the choice you made. But as much as you felt all the joy and the happiness of the world when you were with her, it began to change into pain. Pain that you wouldn't have imagined stinging so much that you eventually had to make a choice to let go and leave.Â
Taking a big deep breath, you felt someone's presence come and sit beside you. You smile softly at her as you take off your headphones, letting them hang on your neck for a while as you can hear small music leaking from them.Â
"What are you doing here at this time?"Â
"Just admiring the view while having some fresh air"Â
"You sound like a romantic"Â
Hanni snorted a bit as she looked at the view in front of her. The small cold breeze hits both of you smelling a hint of sea salt passing by as well.
"I thought you were crying again"Â
"Stop reminding me, it's embarrassing"Â
You laugh a bit at what Hanni had just said and remember the time when she decided to crash into your apartment with snacks in her hand but instead caught you crying in your room alone with crumpled tissues scattered everywhere. You were a total mess at that time and the image still creeps into your mind, sending a shiver and an uneasy wave of embarrassment down your spine every time you remember them.Â
"I was thinking of her, though..."Â
Thoughts linger on about her once again as you start to daze off from the beach view.Â
What if I didn't let go of her? Would we still be talking, laughing at each other like we always do, or would I be in a crying mess again?Â
We used to joke around, laughing non-stop at almost everything, now all I do is cry non-stop instead. I sometimes wonder, if I had enough courage in me and talked about my feelings about her, we might've done something about it together.
 I wonder if she thinks about me like I do. Has she ever cried about me? I feel bad if I ever made her cry. Not like I can do something about it now.Â
I wish I could, but I think it'll just hurt me again. Because I'll be giving her my all again and I'll be stuck in a loop then.Â
You snapped out when you finally noticed you were rambling your thoughts to Hanni without even noticing.Â
"Sorry..."Â
"Don't be"
Hanni shifted her gaze, locking them at yours as she smiled warmly. You would always feel reassured every time you see that smile of hers. Perfectly warm for a cold breezy night. You could see the stars clearly by now and the moon peaking from the thin clouds, the light shimmering as it reflects on the surface of the water, and a bit of music that's still playing from your headphones, going to the end of the chorus.Â
Find something worth savingÂ
It's all for the takingÂ
I always sayÂ
I'll be better on SaturnÂ
None of this mattersÂ
Dreaming of SaturnÂ
You listen to the lyrics and think if it'd be actually nice on Saturn. Even if it wasn't as far as Saturn, just somewhere you could ease your mind without all the lingering thoughts that wrapped you around like a thorned bush, pricking your soul.Â
"Saturn sounds nice"Â
The girl stares at you with a hint of confusion in her eyes as you suddenly, out of the blue, talk about planets.Â
"I'm so fucked up on this planet, might as well just go to Saturn you know?"Â
You never know, being in Saturn might be better than you think. Far away from the problems you've left behind, no one chasing you down for it. I'll make Saturn a place where I could rest from heart, just carefree and mindless. No more pain or hurt. Just focusing on myself and the future ahead of me. I bet I could make the best planet in the universe if NASA would let me. Well, that would be valid if we could "land" on Saturn in the first place without burning and melting ourselves.Â
You outed a chuckle as you yapped your thoughts of Saturn to Hanni and the girl couldn't help but laugh lightly at your sudden plans about making the "best planet in the universe"Â
But deep down, you knew that even when you'd send yourself off to Saturn or even as far away as Neptune, you'd somehow think about the girl just like how you've been lingering your thoughts on her on a random night at the beach. You take a deep breath, stopping thinking about it for once when you hear her speak up in a quiet mumble.Â
"I'll be your Saturn."Â
It was your turn to look at the girl with confusion and surprise. Your eyes met once again as she showed that warm smile with a soft chuckle.Â
"Sorry, that just sounded cheesier way more than I imagined"
Your thoughts wander again.Â
Hanni had been with you from your first-ever crush to your first-ever relationship (even when it was complicated as hell) till your heartbreaking moments. She was the one who you'd open up to when it came to opinions and bits of advice, she's the one you'd tell firsthand about every exciting thing that happened to your life, the one you'd update even when it was 3 am early in the morning, and her shoulders were the ones you cried and leaned on when your heart was shattered to pieces.
Being with Hanni allowed you to be idiotic, to be yourself. No matter how bad the situations were or how stupid things could get when with her, you could just laugh it all off and be carefree. You'd forget all your worries and problems, and the time with her would fly so fast. You remember way back then, you'd repeatedly ask Hanni's mom if she could stay a bit longer. You feel all the comfort you need when you're with her.Â
"You already are"Â Â
Her facial expression turned into a surprised one as she heard your response. The music leaking from your headphones had finally come to an end, only the sound of waves in the background left as you gave back the warm smile she always wears to reassure you, letting you forget all the problems and weight on your shoulders.Â
"You are my Saturn"Â
After some time of staring at each other, the long comforting silence soon ended with soft giggles and laughs as you and Hanni looked back at the ocean view with the golden moon and diamond stars shining their way making everything a perfect picture.Â
"You were right... that did sound cheesier than I imagined"Â
no way I just fkn finished this wait what
#kariwrites_đŠŠ#hanni pham#newjeans#newjeans x reader#newjeans hanni#kpop x reader#hanni x reader#pham hanni#hanni#nwjns#newjeans fic#newjeans imagines
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I love watching youtube videos about tiktok and influencer drama, mainly because I'm completely disconnected from stuff like that (I have never watched an influencer video in my life) so it gives me the thrill of true crime without the tragedy exploitation aspect, but sometimes I also feel completely disconnected from the youtubers too?
Like every youtuber has to offer up a million disclaimers about how they aren't judging influencers or whatever and that's usually fine but like. I do feel that there ARE points where people need to be judged for the content they're sharing and promoting and profiting off of!
"I'm not judging tradwives or saying their content is badâ" I am!! I am absolutely judging tradwives! Extremely harshly! Because the entire "tradwife" movement is conservative propaganda based on misogynistic and patriarchal ideas about history with no basis in reality or in our modern world! And tradwife influencers explicitly target young women and especially teen girls and try to convince them to put their entire lives in the hands of their husbands, which is a horrific recipe for domestic abuse!
These women making hundreds of thousands of dollars off tiktok videos (and often coming from extremely wealthy families) are out here telling young girls that they don't need an education, that they don't need their own income, that if they're just pretty enough and obedient enough then they'll find a rich husband and never have to worry about anything ever and it's fucking scary! And I don't know why we are tolerating it!
We know what happens when people, especially women, give up complete control to their partners. We know what that leads to, resentment and extreme control and total lack of options when things go from totally fine to constant arguing to violence. These influencers, who ARE making extremely significant personal incomes from their jobs as influencers online, lie through their fucking teeth about how perfect it is that their husbands do everything for them and all they have to do is take care of the kids and home (with the help of nannies and housekeepers and personal chefs off-screen. . .) and about how they've escaped from capitalism, meanwhile the people actually in those situations who AREN'T making all that extra cash are either already in abusive relationships or they're in incredibly precarious positions where they could end up abused or thrown out with nothing in an instant.
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be a homemaker or stay-at-home parent. I don't think it's wrong to not want to go to college or have a 9-5.
But you NEED options. You need full access to your own money that can't be monitored or controlled by a partner. You need access to a vehicle. You need a life outside of your home and family, especially friends who are willing and able to help you if needed. You need the ability to survive on your own in some way. Because if and when things go wrong in the relationship, THOSE are the things that will save your life.
Also remember that again, these tradwives DO have jobs and their jobs involve selling a fake lifestyle and fake ideals. They are getting paid BIG TIME for the shit they peddle to you, whether that's through the millions of views they get (both from genuine fans and from haters, the algorithm doesn't know or care about the difference) or the many sponsorships they get, they have incomes that they are not disclosing. They have help that they are not disclosing. Many of them started out with extreme wealth but lie through their teeth and cosplay as fucking homesteading peasants. It's all a lie to sell shit to you. Don't buy it.
Disclaimer: Please do not nitpick this post, it's very late and I'm ranting and if this leaves my circle of followers I will regret it deeply. Be nice. Tradwives dni, you're all annoying.
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Garmadon and Morro and their possible stupidity that shouldâve been used in the departed realm, part 4:
Part 3 - Part 5
Morro: Garmadon.
Garmadon: Yes?
Morro: no, Garmadon-
Garmadon: What is it this time, child?
Morro: this is kidnapping.
Garmadon: *carrying Morro over his shoulder.* You must be a child to be kidnapped, Morro.
Morro: what exactly classifies as a kid to you.
Garmadon: Hm..I suppose a child is under 25 years. Mentally speaking for most Ninjagians, though for me and Wu Iâd say somewhere around 5017 years?
Morro:âŠ.God, youâre old.
Garmadon: Wha-I am not-
Morro: besides the point, Garmadon how bloody old do you think i am???
Garmadon: WellâŠare you not 28?
Morro: excuse me. TWENTY EIGHT??
Garmadon: Ah, was I off? I did always assume you may just look a tad young for your age of 34.
Morro: THIRTYYY FOURRRRR???? YOU THINK IM THIRTY FOUR??
Garmadon: âŠYes? Was I still a bit off?? *Garmadon, who is now thinking Morro might be in his early forties with great genes or skincare, everyone.*
Morro: Garmadon oh my GOD.
Morro: IM EIGHTEEN.
Garmadon:
Garmadon:
Garmadon: YOUâRE A BABY??????
Morro: A BABYY?????
Morro: IâM SORRY IâM SORRY IâM SORRY IâM SORRYYYYYY-
Garmadon: RUNNING WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM YOUR FATE, CHILD!
Morro: I DIDNâT KNOW!
Garmadon: HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT KNOW?!
Morro: WELL ITS NOT EVERYDAY YOU LEARN THE GARMADON COULD-
Garmadon: Finish that damn sentence. I dare you.
Morro: âŠno?
Garmadon: Ah, Morro! There you are, I was wondering-
Morro: Everyday I question my very existence. The overwhelming guilt that transcends my body feels as though it is choking me from the inside out. Like claws are scratching at my throat, golden coloured and dusted red with the insides of my very being. The regret that flows between my eyelids as I storm through a stampede of memories of what once was constantly fills my brain with tears of longing. I wonder, on a daily, what destiny had out for me. Did my endless running from my fate, only lead to the inevitability of my end?
Garmadon: âŠ.Please, for the love of everything good, get therapy.
Morro: but then i donât get to trauma dump on you at random :(
Morro: hey, Garmadon?
Garmadon: *smacks his hand onto Morroâs face and pushes him into the grass* You ask too many questions.
Morro: ow what-
Morro: personally, i think four legs wouldâve been cooler.
Garmadon: Personally, I think green on black is an ugly combination.
Morro: *clutches his hair* well, personally, i think having red eyes just makes you look like a dumb cartoon character!
Garmadon: Wha- then personally, I think having a dirty gi on for decades is bad hygiene!
Morro: you and i both know i canât change that! And personally, i think aging over a thousand years in just ten means you aged like milk!
Garmadon: And I think not aging at all for over four decades is just plain stupid!
Morro: wELL EXCUSE ME FOR DYING-
*in the distance (like a few feet away) two figures stand*
Cryptor:âŠ.what are they even doing?
Mystake: *pouring tea* hm?
Cryptor: I mean, why are they arguing like two toddlers??
Mystake: Ah, well.*sips tea* That maybe my fault.
Cryptor:âŠwhat did you do?
Mystake: I may, or may not, have accidentally given them the great idea of releasing their pent up anger through childish insults. It was only a coincidence they both chose each other as their victims. *grimaces as the voices get louder*
Cryptor: Well, *grabs a tea cup* it makes for good entertainment.
Garmadon: I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES!-
I find my self hilarious, guys please i think this is better then part 3 maybe hopefully possibly. The one with morro running away is something you can just lowkey assume on what morro found out/did (i like to think its cause Morro found out if you pull a dragons tail hard enough they jump onto the nearest, and tallest, thing and hold on for dear life like a cat whilst hissing, Garmadon hates it). The first one is under the impression theyâre all still green. Also i was thinking of that meme audio about guessing someoneâs age and each time it gets higher the person screams. If you know what Iâm talking about.
Is this me trying to sell my Cryptor and Morro duo to you guys? As Garmadonâs students? Maybe. Also Mystake I love her guys her death was honestly heartbreaking to me.
Also if you wanna find the other parts I think clicking the tempest duo tag will show them.
Guys please i swear Iâm funny-
#lego ninjago#ninjago#tempest duo#morro ninjago#lego emo#morro wu#ninjago morro#ninjago garmadon#garmadon#young garmadon#emperor garmadon#garmadon ninjago#lord garmadon#sensei garmadon#sora garmadon is a thing???#thats crazy#wait#ok no arin garmadon is not a thing people#the departed#the cursed realm#making these is sm fun when i have ideas#incorrect quotes#morro headcanons#garmadon headcanon#ninjago cryptor#general cryptor#ninjago mystake#mystake#she only has one actual tag what horror have i witnessed
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[14] SOMETHING REAL
warnings: none
jennie didnât sleep. it wasnât a matter of if she could, it was a matter of her not wanting to. she couldnât remember the last time her daughter slept in her embrace, and she didnât want to waste this rare opportunity. as she watched janeâs peaceful face, she felt a pang of regret.Â
she wished she could turn back time, to be a better mother from the start. it was hard to think that at ivoryâs age, jennie was already a mother. the idol knew she did the best she could with her circumstance, but it still pained her to know her role as a mother shouldâve been more of a priority.
the house was silent, save for the soft hum of the refrigerator and the occasional rustle of leaves outside. jennieâs mind wandered back to the early days of janeâs life, the nicu visits, and the overwhelming love that had filled her heart the first time she saw her tiny daughter fighting for her life.
âiâm sorry, valentine,â jennie whispered, her voice barely audible. âi know i havenât been the best mother to you. iâve made so many mistakes.â jane, who was still resting her head on her motherâs shoulder, stirred slightly but didnât open her eyes. the older woman took a deep breath, feeling the need to unburden her heart.
âthere are so many things i should have done differently,â jennie continued, her voice still soft and barely above a whisper. âi was young and scared, and i thought giving you up would be the best thing for you. but when i saw you in that incubator, fighting so hard, i knew i couldnât let you go.â
she paused, gently stroking her daughterâs hair that was the same shade as her own. genetics were a funny thing. jane was physically a carbon copy of her mother. from the eyes and the face, all the way to her hair and hands.Â
but even jennie knew her daughterâs personality came from her father. it was a bittersweet reminder of the man who had chosen not to be part of their lives.
âiâve tried to be there for you in my own way, and i know you deserve so much more than iâve been able to give. but i want you to know that i love you more than anything in this world.â the idol added, trying her best not to cry. she wouldnât know what sheâd say if her daughter saw her like this.
nevertheless, her own eyes betrayed her and welled up with tears. âyouâre my everything, jane. and iâm so proud of the person youâre becoming. i just hope that one day, you can forgive me for not being the mother you needed.â
her tears flowed freely now, a silent testament to her sorrow and guilt, but also for her love for jane. the love of a mother who, despite her flaws and mistakes, wanted nothing more than to make things right.Â
the blackpink member continued to stroke janeâs hair, her touch gentle and light as to not wake her sleeping daughter. âi remember the first time i held you,â she murmured. âyou were so tiny, so fragile. i was terrified. i didnât know how i was going to take care of you, but i knew i had to try. i couldnât let you go.â
she paused, taking a shaky breath. her emotions were all over the place, and even though ivory was fast asleep, she couldn't help but want to keep talking. âevery time i see you, iâm reminded of how lucky i am. youâve grown into such an incredible young woman, and iâm so proud of you. i know i donât say it enough, but i am.â
jennieâs voice wavered as she continued to reflect on her abilities as a mother. she had so many regrets, and she often wondered if that was just how being a parent is. you try your best, but still regret it all. she hoped her daughter would understand how hard it was for her, too.Â
âi know iâve made so many mistakes, and i canât change the past. but i want to be there for you now, in every way i can. i want to support you, to be someone you can rely on.â she gently wiped away her tears, her resolve strengthening. âi promise you, valentine, iâm not going to give up on you. i never have, and i never will. so even if you resent me for your entire life, just know that i will still be in your corner.â
jennie leaned down, pressing a kiss to janeâs forehead. âi love you more than words can say,â she whispered. âand iâm going to prove it to you, somehow, someway.â
the idol leaned back and shifted a bit so her daughter could sleep in her lap, and eventually jennie dozed off, too. however, jane was far from fast asleep.
as her motherâs breathing evened out, signaling that she had fallen asleep, ivory allowed herself to relax slightly. she shifted gently, making sure not to wake her mother, and stared up at the ceiling while tears fell from her eyes.
As the tears continued to fall, Ivory reflected on the countless times she had felt neglected, the moments she had resented Jennie for not being there, and the times she had wished for a different mother. Hearing her mother's heartfelt confession shattered those beliefs and replaced them with a confusing mix of emotions.
she recalled the times she had wished for a different life, for a mother who was more present and involved. but now, she realized that perhaps her mother had always been trying, in her own way, to be there for her.Â
it wasnât perfect, and it certainly wasnât what jane had envisioned, but it was something real.
after what felt like forever, and with her motherâs words still echoing in her mind, jane drifted back into a more peaceful sleep, feeling a little less alone and a little more loved.
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CLOSED.
#jennie kim#blackpink#lesserafim#angst#kpop angst#original series#jisoo kim#roseanne park#lalisa manoban#kim chaewon#ivory#perfectsunlight
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does caro ever miss or mourn the person they could have been if they been happy with who they were as carrie? i'm an older trans person and have been post op and passing for over a decade now, but every now and then i can't help but feel sad for the version of myself i would have been if i'd been cis. i don't see a lot of stories with gnc characters touch on these feelings even though i think they're a normal part of the trans experience
WOAGH ok. I'm not going to clean up this sketch cuz i think its better you get the sloppy 'couldnt see through my tears replying to this ask' version. In many ways, yes. Its hard to put into words because its not a regret, but its a grief of who they tried to be for so long. It doesn't take away from the joy they have being the person they are now, but for them its like losing a loved one too young, if that makes sense.
i think many people have 'what ifs' and sadness for our baby selves. I write Caro loving Carrie very much, which is a super personal choice for me. I also show Carries story because I feel its really important to understand Caros. And because its really important to mine. I mourn baby me all the time, I was so incredibly lost. And I mourn the man I never became. He lives in John, because in many ways he still exists in me, even if my life took me in a different direction from him. I still love him. Hes still part of me even if my path didn't include him once i learned more about myself. But I'm also incredibly joyful and happy to be the person I am now, and I think teenage girl me, and phantom FtM me would be really proud of 40-something nonbinary living-my life-the-best-way-i-can me.
I think if Caro could meet Carrie in some kinda way, they'd say they were so sorry they couldn't be her, and that they really tried but they just didnt know how. But I think Carrie would tell them she's really happy she gets to be them, and how proud she is of how far theyve come together.
#ask box#sorry i got way too personal on main here but yea#trans journey#its different for everyone of course#Caro speaks for me and we all have dif experiences#i yearn to hug baby me and tell her its gonna end up ok#that its gonna be a weird and winding road but we're gonna make it ok and thank you so much for living so that i could live too#i love you i love you i love you
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I have a request to make if youâre willing. Platonic yandere lamia shinobu x child reader please.
Yandere Lamia Shinobu Kocho x Child Reader
War is a terrible place for a child
Even if theyâre blindly motivated to help the cause
Shinobu has always thought this but she was also aware that desperate times called for desperate
Hence her early employment as a battle field nurse
Through a series of successes and coincidental massacres
Sheâs earned her position of a commanding general
Instructing her scientists and exploring her power with chemical warfare
All while strategizing for her army against the enemy lines
Being a lamia in this kind of environment was helpful
The muscle gave her the extra edge above her human compatriotsÂ
making her a valuable assetÂ
One that needed to be contacted frequently
âI-I huff huff am h-here huff huff for Miss Shânbu!â
The entire camp practically swooned when they saw the young messenger waddle into camp
There were other young messengers
Much faster
Much more outspoken about their dreams to become a soldier or pilot one day
But not youÂ
Not youÂ
âUh I h-heard this huff helps people. S-so Iâll just try my best.â
When she first met you she immediately wanted to fire youÂ
You were far too small
Legs too short
And all the huffing you were doing made her nervous
âHow was your trip, little (Y/n)?â
"It was uh okay, hereâs your letter by the way.â
â...Those cuts on your kneesâŠâ
âI just tripped a little, Iâm okay!â
But how could she
Even the apathetically smiling mad lamia scientist couldnât deny you
As soon as you tiredly ended up curling into herÂ
Sheâs determinedÂ
Whether she makes you an intern or even an errand runner
She couldnât leave you in the position you were in
She looks into your parentsÂ
Finding them to be a struggling couple that sent you to workÂ
It irks her when she convinces you to let her do blood work and she finds so many horrible diseases beginning to sprout
Of course she wants to cure themâŠ
But the medical expenses are so much and your family canât afford that
âHow about we make a deal? If you relinquish your parental rights to me Iâll be happy to care for them.â
If they donât immediately hand you over sheâs going to get a lot less nice
How impudent
A lamia helping the weaker humans and they canât do this one thing for her
It just proves her right when they begin to mentally decline
And once the proper authorities agree theyâre just not fit to be out of an asylum
Youâll be placed in her care
Itâs probably even more of a wrecking ball if youâre life if your reading it out
âYoung messenger (Y/n), we regret to inform youâŠ.oh.â
âThere There (Y/n) here have some tea its sure to relax you.â
âUh thanks Miss ShânbuâŠâ
âIf youâd like you can call me Mom.â
Whatever refusal you can articulate fades with the floaty feeling that comes after having a sip of her tea
Being the medicinal genius she is sheâll make sure her dearest human baby will have no problem fitting into their new life
Now some of her generals will have noticed
The odd amount of time Kocho spends with the asylum director or the little human she wraps her tail aroundÂ
âA war is no place for a child!â Theyâll protest
âHow can she? Caring for a human child?â They whisper
So with a single whip of her tail and a smile that threatens to disappearÂ
She holds her sleeping child to her chest
âYouâre absolutely right about that one thing. A war is no place to raise a childâŠtherefore Iâll just have to end this one quickly.â
Dictatorship, absorbing other branches of the army, or creating an ultimate weapon that only she can use or even defecting to the other side if necessary
This war will end so she can devote all her time to raising you
Youâve run so far
And youâre just so young
She promises sheâll prioritize your well-being and her happiness with you
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