#i have too many feelings tonight i am so sorry fml | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starfirette · 5 years ago

Text

Every Which Way : Chapter Five

The Way Towards Family

➡️Previously

➡️a/n: this is it. This is the chapter I have been dying to write. After this there’s only one other scene I am on the edge of my seat for, but that comes much later 😈 also, I just realized that I’d been advertising this chapter as chapter four. it’s actually chapter five. fml. I TRIED MY BEST TO EDIT THIS FAST SO I’M SORRY BUT HERE IT IS! LIKE COMMENT SUBSCRIBE SEE YA NEXT TIME GAMERS

➡️ OC page, if you care: chapter includes Wendi and Ryder

Even knowing morning has come, you linger in your bed a while. The silence of the room has become a comfort, and the only noise you ever hear is the occasional cuff of boots by your door.

This morning as you stare into the cracks of the ceiling you hear the soft voices of Mandalorian children murmuring rumors.

“I heard she is so ugly that her planet doesn’t want her anymore,” one voice exclaims in a loud whisper.

Another child hissed a remark: “That’s not true. I heard she’s so beautiful that there was a fight over who could keep her.”

You haven't seen many children around the covert. The tunnels are mostly littered with Mandalorians who sharpen their weapons and keep keen watch.

The time came to rise long after those children had scurried off; you could not hide in your room all day. Dressing slowly in your long sleeved tunic and pants, you became lost in thought; your life would take its final turn in a matter of hours. The wedding would commence, and the court guardian in covert captivity would be sent back to Aniri to spread the news that the infamous, fugitive, servant girl would never come back. She would never be repossessed, no matter how many fits Emelea, the new queen, threw. The servant girl would be Din Djarren’s wife.

The thought did make you tremble. Your belly flipped as you laced up your boots without really looking at them. The confession he gave last night still felt like a dream. He’d departed too quickly after the engagement, his only goodbye being the tender press of his helmet against your forehead. He hadn’t returned all night, though you stayed awake hoping he would. The revelation of his feelings felt fraudulent—you couldn’t be sure he wasn’t lying to you, and you never could be. You had to live on and figure this out as you went through the motions, succumbing to the waves of your brand new Way of life.

Combing the knots from your hair with remarkably still fingers, you found yourself contemplating once more.

Contemplation has proved to be your natural enemy these past days. Forming ideas in your mind is a dangerous thing, for once forged, you couldn’t ever forget them. You will never forget the words Din had just spit out so recently. He doesn’t care about you, he isn’t your friend, he has nothing to give to you. You’d interpreted all of that from the single sentence he’d offered like a rotten fruit.

I do not care about you.

And even after saying this, he’d come to your room and begged for your hand in marriage. You’d agreed because at the time you were swayed into believing him, but given his abrupt departure you couldn’t help but contemplate his words. Sweet words can be said any time, any day, but they would never erase the cruel ones.

And Din had said such sweet words. Some you wanted to believe in so badly.

You slipped your belt around your hips, attaching the buckles at the bone then around your thighs. You carried three total weapons now. The pistol, the beskad, and the besbev. Your beskad weighed heavy on your leg, the curve of the blade wrangling against the angle of your stride a bit awkwardly. The besbev had become your closest friend of all the three. It’s beautiful to look at and more beautiful to play. It is a traditional instrument from the older age of Mandalore, a flute, with a blade sharp enough to split skin by the seams at the opposite end. The pistol is self explanatory. It’s not nearly as easy to use as you’d thought. From yesterday’s squabble in the desert your arm ached so, so badly. The recoil of every shot had done its due diligence.

Sheathing the final weapon on your hip, you take a deep breath that ricochets in a wheeze through your chest. Striding among the Mandalorians like your one of them feels like an epic crime. Compared to even a random woman from any other planet you’re small. You’re weak and unable to do well in battle. Compared to these women, why would Din want you?

You lingered around the furnace entrance for a moment, watching as Gold hammered away at no doubt another weapon. You cleared your throat on the off beat of the rhythm, catching Gold’s attention.

“Good morning,” she greets with a cordial nod of her head.

You don’t reply. You walk into the furnace and stand as close as you can to Gold without being molested by runaway sparks.

“You made that choice for me,” you speak, cutting into Gold’s question. She put down her hammer and gestured for you to continue. Through a clenched breath, you ranted out: “Din brought my off Aniri so I could have freedom. To earn that freedom, a choice was made, in which I was not involved, or even consulted. You should have told me.”

Gold inclined her head. “I am sorry,” she says simply.

There’s nothing else she can say to ease your anger. You know this, accepting her apology with a short huff. "Where's Din?"

Harboring sparks over her leather apron, Gold shook her head. “Unaware. I would suspect he’s preparing for the ceremony or he’s further interrogating the captive.”

“Curious,” you note. “What else would he need to know?”

Gold looked at you with a blank expression—even through the helmet, you can tell you should know what Din could want from the court guardian.

“You’re to be his wife, child,” Golds says, suddenly gentle. “Do you blame him for wanting to ensure your lifelong safety? You must know by now that he loves you.”

You calculate the chances of Din telling her to say that. As low as they might be, you still can’t bring yourself to truly believe it. Brushing the detail away with your hand, you looked Gold straight in the visor. “The guardian said we had twenty four hours,” you prompt. “Yesterday.”

“Do relax,” Gold eases you. “Everything is being taken care of.”

“I don’t like hearing that,” you say snippingly. “The last time someone said that to me, I was signed into marriage. Please don’t mistake my aggression for sensitivity.”

Gold had nothing to say to that. She exhaled, a half laugh sort of sound. “There will be a wedding tonight. The guardian will bear witness and he can send a transmission first thing after the ceremony. Tomorrow Paz and his brother will escort the man back to his own planet.”

You lifted one of your brows. “Brother?” You repeated.

“Ryder,” Gold clarified.

Your jaw dropped. “Ryder and Paz are brothers?”

You would have never guessed, with Ryder’s harsh attitude and Paz’s gentle way of doing anything. You shook your head.

“What do I have to do?”

“For one, you have to be at the ceremony,” Gold snickered. You didn’t appreciate the humor at the suspenseful moment. Huffing a tiny sigh, Gold shook her head. “Mandalorian marriage is a rather traditional occasion. The entire covert will be watching. The contract will have to be sealed with blood.”

You drew back, looking absolutely startled.

Gold raised her hand. “Not a great deal. It’s a simple prick of your finger. There will be a second contract which you will have to sign. It’s to be recognized by the Anirian council. There will have been two signed contracts, so there will not be any mistakes. I don’t have to tell you what else you’ll be doing,” she then concluded. She tilted her helmet up, as if she were sneaking a glance of you through her hair. “I don’t, do I?”

“What else do I have to do?” You asked, a feeling of nausea overcoming you once again.

“You will have to consummate the marriage.”

“‘Consummate?’” You repeated. A foreign word. Paz hadn’t taught you that one.

“Yes,” Gold said carefully. “That is...well, child, you will have to have sex with Din.”

You nodded, though your face burned with fierce embarrassment. “Thank you for pointing that out to me,” you say sarcastically.

“I won’t lie. I did think that you didn’t know what sex is,” Gold continued.

“I do,” you assure her.

“You do. Well, this is good, because you have to do it.”

“I know,” you grit through your teeth.

“Do you know how?” Gold then asked.

You shut your eyes, wishing this would end already. “I didn’t come here to ask how to give a man a blowjob,” you say loudly. “Trust me when I tell you I am not completely naïve!”

Gold looked down at her feet. She coughed into her leather glove. “Hello, Din.”

You spun on your heels to see that Din has entered the furnace, having just stepped foot past the threshold.

You abruptly seized up in your stance. A stiff thank you to Gold and then you left, making sure not to brush arms with Din’s armor.

You wished now above all other times that you could have seen Din’s face. He probably looked as mortified as you felt.

What a bother this entire day is turning out to be, you think as you retreat back into your room. You sifted through your basket of snacks and proceeded to eat cheese.

You sank into your pillows as you ate your cheese, feeling rather content with the comfort it provided your stomach. You’ve learned that good food can do lots of things. It can brighten a sour day, such as this cheese has done for you. Your final hours of being a single woman would be spent eating cheese. You wouldn't ask for it any other way truth be told. Cheese is a good treat. It’s a comfort. A luxury, even.

Yes, yes, you think as you anxiously bite into your cheese. At least as a married woman you could still eat cheese.

Being completely honest with yourself you had actually forgotten that sex was a necessary detail in a married woman’s life. Your knowledge on sex is...limited.

In the servant ranks you had been often assigned with another girl to clean and dust and polish the upper level of the palace. This happened to have a grandiose library. Because none of the girls could read, Vidia would pick and choose the small amount of books that had photos printed inside. She stole picture books often, distributing them to other girls for the price of their bread rolls or rice balls at dinner time. It was the only joy you could recall from being amongst the ranks. Vidia often brought that feeling, and as she was your usual cleaning partner, you could pick many favorable memories with her. One being huddled in the darker corners of the library, flipping through a book that could only be described as indecent. Vidia giggled while you blushed and frantically shook her arm, trying to convince her to put the book back before she became caught. At that time, she never did. You’d seen the various sexual positions and orientations. Girls could love girls, boys could love boys, and either one could be easily repulsed by anything sexual.

You wished you could read then. The book had several chapters on various topics. You couldn’t decipher anything but the photos.

Still; you’d seen how sex was supposed to work. It never occurred to you that you could enjoy sex in your lifetime. The council’s teachings made anything indecent clearly criminal, hence the reason for the rags and makeup in the first place. You’d long before associated sex with punishment. Real punishment, not the sort of punishment you’d seen painted in the book.

The very type of punishment Vidia received one day.

The thought of a penis being in close proximity to your general body hadn’t been appealing before.

It’s almost naughty of you to be a little bit thrilled at the idea of Din’s naked body flush with yours.

You only could assume that sex was something most people did for fun because the pictures always had everyone smiling.

It’s a shock that the book had even been in the library considering how conservative the council is.

You’d be forever grateful for it. Forever grateful for Vidia and her mischievous ways. In some strangled way she had saved you from eternal embarrassment on your wedding night. Although you couldn’t say confidently that tonight would go well.

You had never even touched yourself before! You didn’t know that was a thing until the book.

Maybe you’re focusing too strongly on the book.

You should be focusing more on earning your freedom rather than your first time being with a person. But as you recalled the images of girls laying in naked rows and giggling as they cuddled close, you felt yourself become sweatier by the minute.

“OW!” You yowled. You’d been preoccupied in thought and had nibbled onto your finger, having finished your block of cheese.

A knock on the door came, and you were eager to fly from your bed to answer it. Anything to distract yourself from sex with Din. And what better distraction would that be besides, surprise, surprise, Din himself.

You stared up at the T of his visor, lips tightly pressed shut.

“I’m here to take your things,” Din says bluntly.

Out of nervous habit you tucked hair behind your ears. “Why can’t I have my things?”

Fearful for the loss of what little items you possessed you tried to lessen the entry way by inching the door closed.

“Wouldn’t you rather have them in my room?” Din asked, stopping the door with the toe of his boot.

A breath of relief sounded off from your chest. Din shook his head. “I wish you would understand,” he says quietly.

“Understand what?”

“Understand that you’re truly free,” he says. “I am…”

He trailed off, looking fumbled and at a loss for words. “I am here to move your things, as I said.”

You couldn’t exactly argue. Considering he’d be your husband, you’d have to share a room with him, although you can’t exactly imagine having the space with rooms like these.

You helped him gather the little amount of possessions you did own. The new clothes he’d gotten for you you gathered in your own arms. Din made busy with gathering up the amount of books you had from Paz. “Do you enjoy reading?” Din asks. He flips through the history book you’d gotten yesterday.

“I’d enjoy it more if I could actually read,” you mutter.

Din snapped the book shut. “If you’d like, I can help you. I could read to you at night.”

Shifting the weight between your legs, all while your face and ears burned, you stuttered, “That sounds very nice.” It did sound nice. It sounded like something a real married couple would do.

You didn’t realize you would be comfortable with anyone else knowing about your illiteracy besides Paz. Din did not make it seem like a burden, or a red flag, or a flaw. He did take advantage of your stunned silence to take your clothes in his arms. “Should I lead the way?” He asks, his voice strangely vivid in your ears. The bass of his words resonated down to your eardrums, making your chest feel warm as melted butter.

You took one last look around at your bedroom, suddenly saddened by the fact you would be leaving it. It is as plain as it had been when you got it. The simple furniture and the low ceiling; despite all of that it had felt like home.

“Mesh’la,” Din says carefully. “I’m sorry.”

Snapping out of your silent goodbye you looked up at Din. “What for?” You pressed. With furrowed brows you took count of everything Din had to be sorry for.

“About the marriage,” he clarifies. “It wasn’t my first choice for you. I tried everything. Even if you moved to some other planet, they could still come for you. This is the only way to keep you truly safe.”

You smiled at the floor. “You talk about my safety a lot,” you point out.

“I care about it,” Din answered in the same knowledgeable tone. You pucker your lips, at a loss for a retort.

Walking side by side with Din, through the tunnel, felt very strange. His pace was never so concise with yours before today. Looking at him you can see he isn’t struggling. He seems natural; human, even, if you could believe it. He didn’t seem to step out of a two feet radius from you at any given time, and if one of you were to fall behind, it would always be him.

As the tunnel and its crowd thinned into a hall of silence, you looked through the walls searching for doors. A few here and there.

“Some of these are classrooms,” Din says, as if he had sensed your questions. “Some house younglings. Foundlings sleep with the younglings to encourage interaction and connection. Those who have been here the longest, with the strongest clan, tend to get the bigger rooms. It’s a bit of a social pyramid.”

Stopping at what had to be the last room in the entire covert, Din gestured for you to open the door to your new home.

The inside isn’t as shocking as you thought it would be. It’s just a bedroom. There’s a bigger bed in the center of the north wall, the quilts in a folded heap at the foot. A wide vanity and a full length mirror sits in the corner to the right of the bed; to the left, a tall wardrobe. A smaller sized bookshelf and two soft cushioned armchairs linger just beside you at the wall of the entrance. It’s not decorated or filled with anything you could use to guess it belongs to Din.

“The quilts are new,” Din explains as he shuts the door behind him. “It’s not much.”

“It’s perfect,” you tell him. “As perfect as a bedroom can be,” you quickly add, ears burning as you realize what he could have interpreted. You hurry to take the set of books from him. Awkwardly hovering over the shelf you look at him for permission.

“You could rearrange the room however you’d like and I wouldn’t say a word,” Din says. You couldn’t muster any response as you pushed the books against his.

“If you want to sleep separately I can get another bed,” Din continues as he strains himself to stand still in the corner. You step in front of him, grabbing your clothes from his arms as you sigh, “And here I thought you wanted to sleep with me.”

“I—That is not what I meant,” Din stresses.

You laughed at his reaction. “I’m teasing you,” you promise him as you journey to the wardrobe.

“I don’t like being teased,” Din grumbles.

“I’m sorry to say that I’m learning that teasing is a great deal of my personality.” You sent him a look over your shoulder, the smallest of smiles preened over your mouth.

“I don’t like being teased,” Din repeated,

Something boiled in your stomach when he said that, but it felt pleasant. Blushing furiously, you got to folding away your tunics and trousers. Din’s own clothes are folded away. You still remember the smell of his soap from the little bed on his ship. Tonight and every night after that smell would linger beside you.

Staring at the mattress, you couldn’t help but wonder how Din slept at night. Sprawled limbs? Curled? On his stomach, maybe, with one arm hooked underneath a pillow.

The bed would be the scene of consummation tonight, and bearing that in mind you quickly looked away from it.

“Thank you for thinking of doing this,” you say as you come back from the reeling dizziness Din had instilled with his words. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” you add. “I will never be able to repay you.”

Din lets out a heavy sigh. He hangs his head down, his shoulders shaking as he laughs. “I wish you would understand, mesh’la. There's nothing I ask from you other than to be my wife."

The floor swayed beneath your feet as the words rushed to your ego. You took a tiny breath to ease your conscious before taking a careful seat on the mattress.

You looked to him through loose bits of your hair as you patted a seat beside yourself. The heavy stomping of his boots shake through your toes that point down into the floor. He takes an uneasy seat, the bed creaking underneath his armor.

“You’re very kind,” you say as a natural moment of silence has passed the room. “Will I be able to see your face tonight?”

Din, almost seeming startled, clenched his hands that rested over his thighs. “Yes.”

You chewed your tongue, trying hard not to laugh or smile. He seemed as nervous as you. It is a comfort to know that the world’s most elite warrior’s could be nervous. “I hope you’ve shaved,” you say again in a teasing way.

“Oh, I have,” Din says reassuringly. Your eyes grew wide. “Do you have facial hair?” you asked hopefully, wanting something to look forward to.

A quiet laugh passed through his modulator. “I could. If you liked that, then I’d say yes.”

“And if I don’t like that?” you ask.

“Then I’d shave every day.”

You wrapped your arms around your stomach that ached as you laughed harder than you ever had before. Perhaps you’re just hysterical given the impending wedding that looms a mere few hours away. “You’ll be very agreeable if you do everything I asked of you,” you say.

Din shrugged. “I just might,” he teases. You would have rolled your eyes if you hadn’t felt so watched. You can feel his eyes glued on you, helmet or no helmet.

“If that’s true, would you answer all my questions?” you challenged.

“To the best of my abilities,” Din agreed, albeit hesitantly.

“What is a Mandalorian wedding like?”

He seemed to have not been expecting that question because he became lost in thought. His fingers splayed over his legs as he relaxed at your side. “Not what I think you’re used to. It’s as traditional as anything else we do. Unlike other cultures, we do not usually make up vows. The binding ceremony is generally the same for each couple. The same words and the same contract. We’re not expected to kiss in front of a crowd. The rules don’t change. But tonight, after the contract is signed, it will be expected of me to remove my helmet. Removing the helmets is a custom saved only for the couple.”

You nod. “I see. But I don’t have a helmet.”

“Not to spoil the surprise, but you’ll soon see everything has been arranged. This wedding will be unlike any other. Rather than one Mandalorian vow, you and I will exchange vows set by Anirian standards. It’s important that the council recognizes our marriage as legal.”

You shiver at the idea of Emelea refusing to accept your marriage. You aren’t entirely certain she’ll be quick to disregard you just because you married Din. You aren’t so much focused on the legality of the ceremony, though. You’re fearful for the outcome that may destroy the covert.

“What are you thinking?” Din asks. His soft voice passed over you like a fluffy cloud, shielding you from the burning sun. You basked in the feeling it gave you for a second.

“I’m thinking that I would never forgive myself if your people went to war because of me.” You sounded quiet and sad, something you didn’t want to convey, but you couldn’t help the feeling.

“We’re Mandalorians, mesh’la,” Din says confidently. “I’m sure we’d be fine.”

You cast your future husband a disregarding look. “This is a covert for a reason,” you argued. “The Armorer told me everything. Other Mandalorians may be able to afford a war, but not mine. Not you.”

Din’s heavy hand placed gently over your thigh, the warmth of his palm seeping through the fabric of your trousers. “When it comes to you, I am more than capable of taking down entire armies.”

You felt the urge to hold his hands twinge in your fingers. You might have taken the opportunity to kiss him if you could’ve.

Rather than voice this, you opted to put your hand on top of his, squeezing his grip around your leg. “I’m excited to see what you look like,” you beam. “Before, I was nervous. I’m not so nervous anymore.” You bring your hand up to touch the side of his helmet, where the metal contoured like cheek bones. “You sound like your eyes are brown.”

Din took his turn to hold you next, holding your hand in place.

“No hints?” You asked after a moment of intense staring.

“None.”

With a final squeeze to your hand, Din moved you away then took to his feet. “We should get ready. Wendi will be looking for you, soon.”

You frowned deeply, crossing your arms as you remained intent on hiding in your new bedroom. “Why?”

“I told you that Mandalorian weddings are very traditional,” Din points out, the smirk evident in his voice. “You will have to get ready eventually.”

You groaned. Knowing that Wendi doesn’t like you unsurprisingly turns you off from getting her help. Besides, she’s most likely angry at you for getting her yelled at yesterday after the fight with the guardians.

Begrudgingly you followed Din to the furnace. You considered holding his hand, but chose not to, as you weren’t sure just how affectionate he’s ready to be.

Wendi, Paz, Ryder, and the Armorer already lingered around, having a low conversation while two female Mandalorians worked silently in the corner, using rags to polish armor cuffs.

“Well, if it isn’t the lovebirds of the hour,” Ryder snides. He rests up against the lockers, huge arms strapped over his chest. You resisted a loud huff, telling yourself it’s better to let him be than to give him the satisfaction of getting a reaction.

Wendi’s blue helmet juts a nod in your direction as a greeting.

“Here I was hoping you two would just elope,” Wendi says with a sneer in her voice.

So much for the brief moment of indifference.

“I hope you’re both well rested,” Gold says curtly. “Revisions have just been made. The ceremony may commence at any time.”

You and Din looked to each other. You felt the sense of something like camaraderie, but more intimate. It’s not as though the relationship is like anything anyone’s ever had. There are doubts and feelings still unspoken. Despite that, there’s more than what meets the eye.

The agreement became finalized as Din gave a single nod of his head.

“I’m ready if Din is.”

Ryder cackled while he rubbed his oversized hands together. “I’m ready for something finally exciting,” he exclaimed.

He sauntered forward, grabbing Din by the arm. “Time for your bachelor party,” he declared as he led Din out of the furnace. You felt cold without him by your side; cold and aware of the emptiness beside you. You remained tall, pushing your shoulders out and leaving your chin high in the air. “What happens now?”

Paz spoke this time. “The bride and groom should review their vows while they get dressed. The bride wears a special dress underneath armor. It’s common for Mandalorians to marry non-Mandalorians. Even then it’s important to uphold tradition. On their wedding night, the face of the riduur is reserved for their significant other. After today, the helmet will be yours. It’s up to you whether or not you want to uphold the creed, but tonight, you must.”

That was Paz’s kind way of telling you dressing in Mandalorian garb is a necessary effort you cannot and should not decline. Paz clicked his heels together in a quick bow of goodbye. “I will see you at the ceremony.”

“Thank you, Paz,” you said before he could leave the furnace.

The short nod of his head was a silent form of ‘you’re welcome.’

When only the ladies remained in the furnace, the door became shut and locked, which you’d never seen before. The furnace had always been open for everyone.

“Y/n, please meet Genevieve and Nyra,” the Armorer said as she gestured to the two females who had been silent until now.

“Nice to meet you,” they both said softly, which you reciprocated, including the bow of your head.

“They are under my apprenticeship and have been younglings in our covert for many years. They helped make your wedding armor.”

Genevieve stood about 5 feet tall, if not a few inches taller, and her armor is sprayed a deep, almost pastel purple. You can see she scratched in designs on the cuffs and leather, like wildflowers and stars.

Nyra, on the other hand, stood two heads taller than Gen. Her armor was polished to a mirror like glaze and every plate and leather strap in perfect place.

Wendi tapped her foot anxiously as she watched you interact with the younger girls instead of getting dressed. “Not to be a jerk, but the sun’s already going down. If we want to get the guardian off planet by trooper rotation, then Y/n’s gotta be dressed and married by the next hour.”

You grimace. “I suppose we should get on with it,” you agreed.

You undressed to your undergarments, watching as Nyra and Gen took a sheer black dress from a locker. It reached your knees and fit loosely around your body, mostly the waist and shoulders where the straps felt loose.

“It’s meant to be that way,” Gen promises as she makes some adjustments. She sounds kind through her modulator. “It’s only meant to go underneath the armor.”

You looked down at yourself, feeling quite like a widow rather than a bride as the black skirt swished around your knees.

Wendi and Nyra brought over the first pieces of your armor. Wendi straightens your shoulders for you, a bit too forcefully to be kind. You sent her a glowering look as Nyra fit the breast plate against your chest. You held it in place while Gen attached the shoulder plates.

You would then wear knee and shin guards made of the same white gold as your chest plate. You enjoyed getting the new pair of shoes the most, though; heavy boots as bold as any other Mandalorian’s, but velvety black with white laces. The toes had steel inside, as you could tell as you tapped the toe of each boot against the cobblestone floors.

“Wendi,” Gold says tamely, holding out a hair comb. “Can you be trusted with such a task?”

Wendi plucked the comb from her hand. “Why would I not be?” she snubbed.

You flinched when Wendi took a fistful of your hair in her gloved hands. To your surprise, she was gentle as she twisted it up into a knot on the back of your head, using the comb to stick the bun in place.

“You make an agreeable riduur,” Nyra notes from across the furnace.

“Thank you,” you say. “Although, I’m not sure I know what a riduur is.”

“It’s a mando’a, gender neutral term for a spouse,” Gen fills you in. “Bride, groom, wife, husband, or even neither and both.”

You nod. “So, mando’a is the language you all speak?”

“It used to be,” Gold says from her usual place by her stove.

“Before the purge,” you guessed.

“It was our first language as children,” Gold explains. “We are lucky if a youngling can even pick it up these days.”

“Hey! Ner mando’a...it’s...ah, it’s slipped my mind,” Gen said, defeated. “Still, I can at least understand it.”

You wondered what it would be like to understand two languages; you can’t even read your own. Rather than letting that tear you down, you return your focus to your armor and dress. “I won’t have to wear makeup, right?” you asked fearfully.

“Oh, no,” Gen says in a gasp. “Only your husband shall see your face tonight. It is an honor to see a newlywed’s face! We did make you something special.”

Gen and Nyra pressed at Gold to hurry on and show ‘it’ to you, and you watched with anxiety as Gold dug through her cooler. Presenting to you the latest object of her creation, you couldn’t help but gasp.

It was a helmet, of Mandalorian design, sculpted just for you out of rosegold and beskar. The T of the visor rippled like a wavy vine across the front.

Gold set the helmet in your hands.The weight could be balanced perfectly if you held it in your two palms perfectly upright. It’s pretty to look at with the rose gold sheen that glimmers when it hits the light in that certain way.

“There’s a hidden design,” Gen proudly says. She ushers herself over, guiding her hand to the underside of the helmet. At the touch of a button, the visor would roll up, revealing your face through the hollow part of the helmet.

“Amazing,” you guffawed.

“It was my idea,” Gen beamed. “It didn’t feel right to force you to hide your face, again. This way you can at least look like a Mandalorian, but still feel free and safe.”

Her words felt like shocks to your chest. You held onto the helmet with a tight grip, staring into the center of it as you tried to push back tears of sentiment. You would not cry on what should be a happy day. The day you are to earn your freedom has finally come, with new people and a blossom of affection that could bloom into the strongest love if tended.

“It was very thoughtful of all of you to do this,” you say in a brief whisper. “Shall I wear it now?”

Gold gestured for you to do so, looking at you tenderly from behind her own golden helmet.

Yours fit snuggly around your head. It didn’t feel uncomfortable in the least with the padding on the inside of it. You felt around the inside which brushes your cheek, looking for the button that Gen had spoken of.

When you pressed it, the screen shot downward silently, and you could see the world the way other Mandalorians did. The image is crystal clear. Nearly enhanced. You could even hear yourself breathing through the modulator, the sound the very same as everyone else’s.

“This is for you to keep,” Gold says as she waves something at you. You go towards the stove’s counter. The pair of gloves she holds in her hands fit tightly over your fingers. On the inside, over the palm of your dominant hand, is a button. “Each helmet has certain modes for certain environments. Yours is equipped with heat signatures, night vision, and aim.”

Each click of the button took you through the three modes. Aim is by far your favorite. It focused on the item or person you wanted it to through patient staring, the screen highlighting your target.

You pressed the button again, taking you once more to the normal screen.

“Thank you,” you said, breathless. You are at a loss for words. “I’m not sure what to say…”

From her position against the door, Wendi whistled to get your attention. “Say nothing. That’s preferable.”

You exhaled a heavy sigh, which came off as a hiss through the modulator.

“There is one more thing for you to wear,” Nyra says before Wendi can continue the banter. In her hands she weighed back and forth a plain necklace, the charm being a heavy oval of metal. You pulled it over your head, leaving it to rest against your breast plate. “Typically,” Gold explains, “the signet of your spouse is printed on the necklace. However, Din has yet to receive one. Until then your necklace will be blank, but that is no excuse-always wear it with pride.”

“I will,” you swear.

Gen put a hand over your shoulder, looking to you with what you imagined to be excitement. “Would you like to look in the mirror?” she asked.

Breaking out of the furnace in your Mandalorian garb felt unreal. You’d never once imagined this would be your life. Marrying Din, wearing the helmet, the armor.

The full length mirror in an unused room not far from the furnace showed you the image of a young woman who has only known the life of fire and glory. You were not that woman, you know it, and you feel guilt pull your heart down into your stomach as you tell yourself you are unworthy to wear the Mandalorian uniform.

Trembling in your armor you dare to contradict yourself. What you were before does not matter, and it likely won’t ever matter again.

Today, tomorrow, and the next, you will be Din Djarren’s wife-and by legality, a Mandalorian.

No one would want to touch you, then. Who would dare to pick a fight with a Mandalorian? A Jedi, who are but legends and stories?

“Are you ready?” Wendi asked from the doorway.

“I think so,” you say. It’s difficult to catch a steady breath under all of this pressure that’s suddenly coming down on you.

“It’s exhilarating, right?” she asked. “The first time you wear the helmet. You either think you’re not worthy or you become too egotistical about it. Ryder was egotistic. Paz was all depressed. I’m sure you can guess me. But Din? I’ll never know. No one will, besides you. So do me a favor once you two are...official.”

You tilted your head, silently asking her what she meant.

She laughed. “Get that guy to relax a bit.”

The aisle is less of an aisle and more of a general area for you to walk through. There are many Mandalorians in tow, all cast aside to the corners of the room as they watched you appear. You hadn’t realized how many Mandalorians lived in the covert until you were seeing them. Parents held their children by the shoulders; little girls cooed and boys gawked at the armor that plated your body.

Din waited for you at the end of your makeshift aisle. He wore standard armor but bore no weapons; weaponless Din seemed awkward to look at. He probably felt as awkward as you do.

There is no priest or council member standing between you and Din.

“Take off on glove,” Din says softly. You’re certain you’re the only one who can hear him.

Where your hands trembled, his were calm as the sea before a storm. Upon revealing to the audience two bare hands, there was a sudden outcry of happiness; applause. It had made you flinch at first but you could pick out the whoops of victory.

“Just look at me,” Din whispers again. He held his bare hand to you, and you gripped it for dear life. “And now,” he says, “repeat after me.”

His voice declared the Mandalorian vows perfectly. He was born to speak Mando’a, his voice a perfect marble depiction of the words and their value.

“Mhi solus tohme,” Din says clearly.

You did your best. Mando’a is a difficult language, you realized once you were expected to say it loud enough without messing up. “M-Mhi solus tohme.”

“That means, ‘we are one when we are together,’” Din translates. “Mhi solus dar’tohme.”

“Mhi solus dar’tohme.”

“We are one when apart. And now, mhi me'dinui an. Mhi ba'juri verde. We will share everything. We will raise warriors.”

Your affection for Din snapped, releasing it’s full force within your chest as your heart beat painfully. “Mhi me’dinui an. Mhi ba’juri verde.”

As soon as you’d spoken those words, the crowd went into an uproar of laughter and applause. Music started to play from some corner of the room, Mandalorians playing mandolins and flutes.

You had to reach out for Din to keep steady on your feet. “That was anticlimactic,” you said over the chaos.

He caught you swiftly, holding you upright by your forearms. “We aren’t done just yet, mesh’la.”

Vaguely wondering what that meant you followed after Din as he took you across the room, through the crowd and to a table that had been set for a proper meeting. Paz in one chair, Gold in another-and the court guardian Din hadn’t killed just between them.

Din pulled the chair out for you. “Thank you,” you muttered, unsure if he could even hear it above the party.

Now that you both faced the guardian, you reapplied your gloves.

“I hope that was to your satisifaction,” you snubbed. Something about being face to face with a man who had been in league with your abusers made you very angry. It might be valid, it might not be. You don’t care. You could just remember the feeling of taking one of their lives, and you felt less uneasy.

The guardian gestured his hands carefully; his wrists are bound by thick chains he could not break, but you still felt as if you had to be on guard.

“It was a beautiful ceremony, ma’am,” he promises. “As much,” he continued, in a rapid stutter, “as I wish it was enough, it was not. There is more.”

Paz pushed forward a few papers with lots and lots of words on them. You could sound out one of the pages; one was a Mandalorian paper, with your name and Din’s at the bottom. Gold passed over a dagger. “It must be signed.”

Din sighed, once more pulling off his glove. He pricked his finger over the tip of the dagger and pressed it like a stamp by his name. The blade is then passed to you. You did the same, feeling less confident and wincing, but stamping your bloody fingerprint by your own name.

Din gently took your hand and gestured for you to tick your wounded finger out. He pressed both fingertips together so the blood mixed, and you both stamped again in the very center.

It was poetic, in a way, but it still made you frown.

“And now?” you ask as you nurse your finger with a cloth napkin.

“Marriage vows,” Paz explains. “But they must be written out.”

You looked absolutely floundered. “I thought there wasn’t a need for marriage vows,” you said loudly.

“Not for a Mandalorian wedding,” Gold explains. “But the council wants a marriage by their own terms. This is what they want.”

Din took an ink pen and a blank parchment paper. “I understand,” he murmurs as he leans over the page, starting to write.

You shot Paz a look. What would you do? Could you ask him to write it for you?

Paz shook his head. “I’m sorry, Y/n. Just do your best. It’s not a test or something we are judging you on.”

You took a pen in your hand. It weighed heavy and felt uncomfortable all tugged against the small joints of your fingers.

You put the tip down to the paper, a large blot forming on the page. You don’t know what to say. You don’t know what to do. It’s nerve wracking for a long minute. Under the music you peered at Din’s paper. He had a lot already.

“Kriff,” you swear to yourself. You started writing carefully.

A large “I” in the center of the page. You’d chosen the wrong spot to start with, but you couldn’t go back. You finished up terribly slow, walking yourself through each word many times to ensure you wouldn’t make a spelling mistake. The end product wasn’t much. But it worked:

WILL

LOVE

HIM

You signed your name at the bottom. You passed the page to Gold, quick enough that Din wouldn’t be able to see it.

“We’re done, then,” Gold says confidently once she has Din’s paper. “You are officially married.”

You dropped the pen with a breath of relief. “Thank goodness,” you muttered.

“Ah, ori’jate,” Paz murmurs as he looks through the papers. “Y/n and Din. Congratulations, from the bottom of my heart. Kandosii! I am off to make proper copies of your certificates. Then, we will be sending them, along with our friend, here, back to where he came from. Have a wonderful rest of your evening.”

Paz pulled the guardian up to his feet, dragging him along to wherever they would be going to make their copies. You looked at Gold timidly. “Now, what?”

“Now, I go to my room and have a wonderful night’s sleep,” Gold says. “You’re officially free, Y/n,” she says. “My congratulations. Enjoy the rest of your night, both of you.”

As Gold disappeared into the party, you and Din sat shoulder to shoulder, unbearably still for a long time. You both sat and listened to four songs come and go. He wouldn’t muster the strength to speak up or move, and you simply couldn’t.

As the seventh song started, Din threw down the napkin he’d been using to nurse his finger. He slipped his glove back on and stood. “Would you like dinner?”

You accepted his offered hand, using it to stand to your feet. You agreed, though not hungry at all.

You secretly felt grateful for the visor that separated you from the vivacious party.

At the large table of food, several people congratulated you. You met and shook hands with Mandalorians you would likely never meet again.

Din thanked everyone in that low-key way of his; you might have found it charming if it didn’t intimidate you to your core. He filled up a basket, which he’d grabbed from some other table, with enough food to keep your room stocked for two days.

A little girl tugged at Din’s leg. “Din, Din!” she exclaimed. “Please take some uj! I helped Mam make it, and I even tasted it before her! It’s very delicious.”

Din knelt down to speak to her. “It looks amazing, Aiya. I will make sure to have plenty. Thank you.”

Aiya grabbed at Din’s shoulders to tug him closer so they could touch foreheads. “Have fun, Din,” Aiya’s mother laughed. “You as well, Y/n. Welcome to our family.”

Ah.

Family.

An interesting word. Not the word you would have used too loosely. You suppose Aiya and her mother have the privilege to throw the term around. You, on the other hand, were not a four year old girl; you never had a real family to call your own. Now that you’ve found Din, you were not going to soil the word ‘family’ by addressing any stranger with it.

The hall stretched fearfully beyond you as you and Din set course for the bedroom.

You hoped you weren’t breathing as loud as you think you are. You’d become conscious of it; you manually pumped your lungs out, just to have something to focus on. Your insides just felt like a jumble, like the color grey. You didn’t have a clear input on anything, anymore. Since the ceremony, everything has been vivid to the point it seemed unreal.

The clicking of your boots aligned with Din’s, the paces being set by the rhythm of your heart. It felt like you’d ran from the hall to Din’s bedroom.

Din opened up the door and gestured for you to go in first. It wasn’t as if you could yell “NO” and run away. Besides--that’s not what you want to do.

Din sets the basket down on one of the armchairs.

“Are you alright?” he asks you.

“I am,” you answered.

“Would you like to eat?” Din asked, gesturing his arm to the basket.

With your heart racing, you pulled off your glove and your helmet. “I’m not very hungry,” you admit as you look for a place to set the helmet down.

“I usually leave mine on one of the chairs,” Din murmured. You did that, filled with unease.

“You weren’t kidding about tradition,” you noted. “It was all very...traditional.” “Overwhelming?” Din guessed what you actually meant.

You faltered out a smile. “Honestly, yes. I thought I would die from shame if I ruined the vows bit.”

“You did very good,” Din said, as if he’d been praising your performance. “I was impressed, at least.”

You coughed on a laugh. He really is quite awkward underneath all of that armor and intensity. And speaking of armor, you realized that the next step on this night is to see his face. “Well...are you hungry?” you asked.

Din struggled to find a good place to stand. His overflow of shuddering fear flooded the room to its edges.

He would not come to you, you realized, so you would have to come to him. You unlaced your boots while he watched. Numb fingers peeled away at the laces and leather as you kicked the shoes away.

All Din seems to ever do is watch you intensely. With brown eyes, no doubt. You know that for sure. His eyes are brown.

With the floor uneven as you walked his way, you brought your mind to one thought.

The color brown.

There are several shades. Several ways brown could be beautiful. Many of the girls who had been in the servant ranks had brown eyes, and you’d known ever since then that brown eyes were, and always would be, undeniably beautiful.

His eyes could be brown like a piece of smokey quartz, dark and mysterious with its shadows.

His eyes could be lighter, like topaz, a warm pool of late sunshine.

His eyes could be almost golden, like amber, like sweet honey.

Your hands, now bare, reached out for the helmet. You half expected resistance; maybe Din would have second thoughts?

However, there was none. There would never be any, you realized, now that you two had married.

You slid your fingers beneath the helmet, finding the soft skin of his jaw. Smooth, you note, so that’s a no on the facial hair.

“I shaved,” Din answered your silent question. You smiled in response.

You took no more hazarding chances. It was time. You could feel it. You want it, and it’s very close.

You lift the helmet, standing on your toes to do so, and Din’s face becomes revealed to you in the matter of a split second.

Brown eyes.

Darker, brown eyes. You could have guessed that. They match the sound of his voice. And his skin is as though he were made by the sun.

There is a line of hair just over his top lip, a thicker mustache that made him look ever angry. You touched the tip of his nose, then his chin, then his cheeks.

“You’re very handsome,” you tell him in the gentlest voice you could summon. You doubt you could speak any louder right now. The beauty of him has you breathless, again, and at a loss for any other words.

Calling him handsome is a real understatement. He’s unlike any person you’ve ever laid eyes on.

“I don’t get that a lot, believe it or not,” Din mutters. He holds your hand that cradles his face. “I want to kiss you.”

Shocked by his words, you stared into his eyes with a gaping mouth. No one had ever said such things to you. You’ve never felt such an affect; warmth like honey and butter that slid down your chest and thighs as one of Din’s thumbs slowly brushed over your lower lip.

The hand that cradles your chin lifted up, and the tender feeling of Din’s mouth overtook yours.

He smelled the same as his leather jacket. Soap, a smoky summer’s day, and all of him.

Your chest plates clattered as Din carefully pulled you closer.

You were startled as his tongue poked through your lips, but the sensation that came with it left you gaping, a perfect opportunity for Din’s tongue to trace the crevices of your mouth. His lips felt like a drug. You couldn’t believe you’ve lived without kissing until now, as an adult. Now that you’ve felt it you never want to live without it again.

It seemed like a skill. You could easily stand there and fade into the euphoria, but you could not swish your tongue and lips like he could without feeling like a wild mudhorn cleaning himself.

When Din became breathless, he pulled away, but his hand still fiercely attached to your face.

You gasped for air.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the first night we spent together,” Din rasps. “Watching you...in the small shirt...and you were fawning over me. I wanted you badly.”

Your face burned fiercely at the words. You’d never have speculated…! Sputtering for a reply, you wrapped your arms over the shoulder plates of Din’s armor. “You have a good way of hiding your feelings,” you tell him with a shake of your head.

Din’s hands fell to your hips, which he squeezed as he shook his head with a smile. It was shocking. You felt yourself become stunned at the prospect of a simple smile, of a half laugh whisping from his lips.

What affection you’d felt for him before burst into a blossoming flower, delicate but beautiful.

“I can’t believe how handsome you are,” you say.

Din sighs. “I really don’t know what I’ll do if you keep on saying that.”

You blushed at the tips of your ears. “I-I mean we should-right?”

Din’s mouth twitched at the idea you’d prodded for the first time all day. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he says in a dark voice.

“Why?” You weren’t ‘disappointed’ but you were confused.

“I shouldn’t force this onto you,” he said. “It’s enough you’ve married me. We can save that for another night.”

Ah. His chivalry strikes again. You shake your head. “What if I had been looking forward to it?” you prodded.

Din grabbed your chin once more and kissed, this time harder than before. “I told you already,” he rasps. “I don’t like being teased.”

Knees shaking, face burning, you looked into Din’s eyes with a wide smile. “Alright.”

According to Din then, helping each other out of the armor is customary for the wedding night. Din took this opportunity to teach you how to disassemble, then reassemble, armor on your own.

Beneath the armor you were not naked. You still had your sheer dress, and Din had his trousers and fitted tunic. The necklace stayed on, the pendant hanging at your chest. You’d declined Din’s prompt to remove it.

Guiding you to the bed to sit, Din placed more kisses over your face. Propping yourself onto your knees, you watched Din eagerly while he untied his own boots. His helmet got placed next to yours. Shoes, next to yours. He climbed into the bed with the basket of food in hand.

You reached for the first piece of cheese you found.

“What do we do now that we’re properly married?” you asked.

Din caught your wrist and guided the cheese to his mouth, where he then took a huge bite of your food. Through a grin, Din shrugged. “Get to know one another, I’d say,” he prompts.

It went back and forth from then on. He asked questions about your childhood, and you’d give mostly depressing answers. You explained to him the in depth details of life in the servant ranks. You’d been born into it by a servant girl who was impregnated while unmarried. You were born, only to have your mother executed hours after. You’d never known her, so it didn’t feel truly sad at first look. Though the more you thought about it, the more sinking realizations settled in your mind.

Din reminisced his story of how he’d lost his family. He’d been rescued by a Mandalorian group under the name of Death Watch. The story was long and intricate. You were mesmerized by Din’s story, by the way his mouth moved when he spoke and said certain words. You were deeply embedded into the story. The history of Death Watch had been explained in thorough detail by your husband. It had once been a group of heroic warriors, dedicated to protecting and upholding the Way.

Paz and Ryder’s father had been a strong part of it.

Everything changed with the rise of the Empire.

Death Watch had been seized by a man who sought the powers of a sith lord. And that had only been the start of the end of Mandalore.

Din managed to escape most damage by moving along with his covert. He was one of the lucky ones.

After his story, he asked you more questions. Life among the ranks; friends; memorable stories. You told him everything. You’d witnessed many defectors become dragged by the hair to the red circle. Often times, servants were gathered to watch as their sister was executed. It was meant to be a lesson learnt.

You didn’t learn it.

Neither did your friend Vidia.

You’d not spoken Vidia’s name aloud in many years, so sharing her story to Din moved you to deep tears that trickled down your face before you stopped them. She lived on through the stories you told. Her mischief, the way she could ease any girl’s worry; and, of course, the time she tried to defect. She tried so hard. She almost succeeded. She’d organized a revolt against the council with the other older girls. It almost worked.

But they were all caught and killed.

You learned from her death that life on Aniri would never get better; from then, you’d watch the ways of the palace and plot. You were going to escape, for Vidia, at first. Then you’d decided you would escape for you.

While the time passed between you, all in between the smaller questions like favorite colors and first kisses (yours had been with Din, and he was happy for it), you both ate happily from the basket.

When he was ready for bed, Din rolled off the mattress. He set the basket up and you could only watch with burning cheeks as he pulled out of his tunic. He folded it up and pushed it into the wardrobe.

He found a tin can and popped something from it into his mouth. He offered you the tin. You tested the waters with a lick to the tablets.

“Are these mints?” you demanded.

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

Mints were high quality on Aniri! You expressed this to him with a wide smile. “I never thought I would have one...I never thought I’d have this sort of life,” you added as you chewed the mint. You scrambled to get under the blankets as Din approached the bed with a thoughtful smile on his mouth. You tried your absolute hardest not to look. You couldn’t really help it. You’d never seen a shirtless person before. It was intoxicating how amazing Din looked. His stomach is well sculpted, his shoulders wide and strong, and his collarbones had an intense effect on you.

Din shut out the lights on his way to bed. He shifted around, pulling the blankets over himself as well. It didn’t take long for you to reach out for one another. As soon as your eyes had adjusted, Din reached out for you. He pulled you by the waist so you were aligned with his torso. Your dress ruffled up against your thighs as you laid there, being kissed and becoming dizzy. There wasn’t much you could do. You didn’t know how to do anything.

You could only do as your body reacted, which was to push up against his bare skin as much as you could manage. You spread out one of your legs, wrapping over Din’s hips so your thigh pressed into him.

You gasped into his mouth as his calloused hand ran over your thigh, up very high to where you could something happening. Something interesting, really. Something definitely new.

“You should ask me to stop,” Din grumbles against your neck. His lips had puckered over your quick pulse, sucking and biting at the skin that had never once been touched before.

“S-stop,” you breathed as you pulled his face back up. You pressed your mouth against his. Trying your hand at kissing back felt messy. It felt sloppy. But Din didn’t seem to mind all that much.

He yanked you closer. “Do you mean it?” he asked you in a rough voice.

“Not really,” you giggled.

Your leg that is cast over his hips got pulled at. He seemed to stretch it out wider so he could run his hand way up beneath your black dress.

His thumb passed over your wet center and you trembled against his chest.

“What was that?” you exclaimed, struggling to catch your breath.

Din looked down at you through the darkness. “This?” he asked. His thumb pressed on that one spot again and you gasped loudly. “What is that?” you asked again.

“Something I can easily stop if you asked me to,” Din says firmly. You gripped onto his bicep as you shook your head. “I do not want that,” you quickly say.

Din chuckled. He pressed another kiss to your mouth as he moved his thumb in small circles. You grabbed onto Din for your utter life. You recalled the feeling of being thrown around the Razor Crest while Din navigated you to safety. This feeling is very similar, but in a way you couldn’t possibly put into words. It’s warm, fuzzy, but it makes your blood run cold in your veins. The feeling has you breathing hard and clinging onto Din, tugging on his messy, brown hair.

And just as soon as it had started, there was a gigantic wave of euphoria that passed over you. Something burst inside your stomach. It was like the feeling had reached its peak and then ended.

You shuddered against Din’s torso, still reeling from the experience. You breathed hard, muttering his name over and over. “How,” you asked, “did you do that?”

Din laughed. The sound rumbled through his chest, low and baritone. He slides his arm up your dress and around to the small of your back. He tugs you closer to his grasp. “It’s a Mandalorian secret,” he tells you.

“Would you do it again?” you asked.

Din laughed. He rolled over you, pressing you into the pillows as he looked down at you through the darkness. In the silence you could hear that the party still raved on in the meeting hall.

“I could. But I won’t.” You gripped at his hair, lips puckered in a desperate attempt to kiss him some more. “Why?” you gasped. “I told you, mesh’la,” Din mutters. He kisses your lips once; it’s softer, gentler, and it eases you to comply with the cuddling hug Din rolls you into. “I don’t like being teased.”

>>read next chapter NOW

75 notes · View notes

thelightofthingshopedfor · 4 years ago

Text

I spent all fucking weekend working on the final really-better-get-there-by-Christmas Etsy commission and I still stayed up past midnight last night and shelled out $30 for FedEx to get it there on time, which I don’t plan to ask the buyer to pay because, I mean, they should’ve originally contacted me more than a month before Christmas but I was the idiot who agreed to do it and then could’ve gotten started at least a few days sooner, probably

so the other fun thing about that is, after the cost of parts and shipping, I’m going to end up with maybe $10 for my literal hours of work and multiple days of sleep deprivation from staying up late with Etsy stuff, and for various reasons I can probably chalk this up to the ADHD tax but it still sucks considering it’s Christmas and there are so many other things I’d rather be doing than killing my neck and back hunching over a bunch of paint and a Funko figure, especially when I was doing it practically for free

and also I’m like...dizzy-tired, and doubly annoyed that I didn’t really get to do anything for my birthday because I was too busy with Etsy stuff

BUT this also means I’m finally done with the really urgent Etsy orders, which means I actually can get to bed at a decent time tonight and also do anything else, which is great because, again, I still have a million other things I either need or want to do

HOWEVER, THE SEQUEL TO BUT, I am apparently only capable of feeling urgency--or, at any rate, the type of urgency that gets me to do things instead of just going “nah, I have more time, I can do it later”--when I’m so hard up against a deadline that I know for a fact I can’t do anything else, which conveniently is also the only time I’m able to tell quickly and easily which thing I should be prioritizing! otherwise it’s DECISION PARALYSIS TIME AGAIN BAYBEE! so now I’m finally done with the screamingly urgent tasks, and I would like to do nothing or maybe actually use some of my current Xbox Game Pass time, but there are still loads of things I need to do, like:

wrap gifts, especially anything for my sister and her family because she’ll be in town tomorrow so we kind of have to give them then (this also potentially involves making a few more things tonight, hahaha fml)

wrap and mail gifts for out-of-town people, although at this point anything I send is for sure going to be late

arrange the last couple gifts on my list that don’t involve ordering things

clean up the general mess of craft stuff that wasn’t great already but is now very bad

finish the rest of my 25 postcards to Georgia voters, which were supposed to be sent by Dec. 15 WHOOPS SORRY

actually put my ornaments on the tree, it’s up (and pre-lit, thankfully) but it’s pretty sparse

contact the local mutual aid network because they’re probably still looking for toys and I haven’t heard anything back since replying to something on Facebook

start working on the other two Etsy orders due soon (in a perfect world these would’ve been done for Christmas too, but I told the buyers upfront that it was highly unlikely)

install my new hard drive!!! so I can actually install games and do shit with my computer again!!! because somehow my SSD is down to like 16 GB of free space!! and also I need to do this to figure out whether I can get anything off my dead drive

reapply thermal paste so I can maybe stop cringing so hard whenever my fans get loud

play a few remaining Flash games (or request them on Flashpoint) before they disappear

finish my Yuletide fic--I defaulted a couple days before the deadline because I realized I absolutely did not have time for everything I was trying to do and defaulting would be better for everyone, so at this point I would really like to get something up by the fic-reveal deadline but it’s not actually necessary

work on other fic, for that matter, because it’s been fucking months and that sucks

buuuut aside from wrapping gifts (which is frustrating in its own right because a couple things aren’t here yet) and doing those postcards, most of this stuff is not screamingly urgent enough to feel self-evidently urgent, which means it’s all just part of my constant self-replenishing to-do list, which means I think about the things I need to do and I get overwhelmed again!!

#bad adult #adhd #I guess

3 notes · View notes

fanfic-scribbles · 5 years ago

Text

Lunch Buddy: Chapter Eighteen

Masterlist

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 18: Party Hard

Chapter Summary: Steve is a popular guy, whether he wants to be or not. Seeking shelter around Christmas seems appropriate for the season, at least.

Chapter Warnings: Whether the viewpoint character celebrates Christmas or not is left vague (there is a gift exchange but it’s mostly centered on what Steve would celebrate), general time jumps between days are marked with single tildes (~), and at the end there is a change in viewpoint and a change back, marked ~like so~

Chapter Word Count: 5241

A/N: This chapter was a little delayed because it wasn’t working and when I dug into why I found I had issues with the following sections that were mucking up the place. It felt like working out a real big snarl– frustrating and painful at first, but very satisfying when I got to the end of it. And slightly cathartic when I just ripped out the bit that refused to budge. It was fun. I hope you enjoy.

(Minor note: time is left vague but this all starts just a few days after the last chapter and happens over a couple of weeks, ending just before Christmas. I have sort of a fake calendar I’ve done up so the dates make sense to me but I don’t think they’re necessary to understand the chapter. If I’m wrong let me know and I’ll see if I can fix it so it does make sense.)

I was having a perfectly pleasant evening at home. I had comfy clothing, I had drinks, I had my phone, I had activities…and I had activities involving my phone.

Me: How’s the party? Steve: Ugh

Bothering Steve would always, no matter what, be fun.

Me: Serves you right Me: trying to guilt-trip me Steve: My only regret is I didn’t guilt you more Steve: I can’t believe you abandoned me to this Me: And I can’t believe you wanted to subject me to that Steve: >:( Steve: I’m reduced to hiding Steve: From a very drunk woman who wants to lean on me Steve: Among other things Steve: Or so she assures me

I felt a flare of something. It wasn’t anything nice.

Me: Hang on Me: Omw Steve: Is that all it takes?

‘Is that all it takes.’ He was such a fuckhead sometimes; maybe that woman could have him– except, no, actually unacceptable. Any potential partners had to understand ‘no means no’ and when to back the fuck off.

Me: Yup Me: There is only so much arm space for clingy bitches Me: And I take up a lot of room Steve: Hey Steve: You are not a bitch Steve: >:( Me: Don’t you frowny-face me mister Me: I am whatever I want to be Me: Deal with it

I added the sunglasses emoji just because.

Steve: Well Steve: I can’t argue that Steve: But I still don’t like it Me: You don’t have to Me: <3 Steve: I guess that’s fair Me: Seriously though Me: Do you want an excuse to leave? Me: I’ll figure one out Steve: It’s okay Steve: I’m going to be up early tomorrow so I’m going to duck out soon Steve: It just would have been more fun with you here

I rolled my eyes. But I smiled.

Me: Well Me: Don’t stay too late, Cinderella Steve: Hm Steve: Better than the old man jokes I guess Me: I would never Me: …Well I guess I might. Too easy though; I like to make an effort Steve: I appreciate your work ethic

The conversation drifted off in drips and drabs, but that night I dreamed of Steve and glass slippers and in the morning I woke with the feeling that nothing had fit quite right.

Steve: Guess where I am

I got up and peeked out the window. No bike, but that didn’t necessarily mean no Steve. However I looked around my apartment and cringed at the mess.

Me: If you’re dropping in you better be bringing snacks Steve: I wish

I frowned at my phone. If he wasn’t coming over then why was he…wait a minute. Wait.

Me: No Steve: Yes Me: It’s Thursday Me: Who has a party on Thursday?! Steve: Pepper assures me it’s not technically a party Steve: It’s a small get-together Me: So it’s a small party Steve: Basically Me: We’re going shopping this weekend Me: We need to find you a spine Steve: YOU try telling Pepper no Me: Hey I never said I had a spine Steve: Be grateful Steve: She really tried to get me to invite you Steve: I danced around it. I knew you wouldn’t want to with work tomorrow Me: Yeah, not happening. Thanks Steve: You’re welcome Me: Seriously though Me: How many parties can those people have in one month? Steve: Please don’t ask Steve: I don’t want to find out Me: I hate to be the one to break it to you Me: But it sounds like you’re going to find out Me: Whether you like it or not

He sent me a sad frowny-face and I immediately imagined him making the same expression. I looked up at my ceiling and wondered why it had to be now that I had the most active imagination I’d had since I was seven.

Me: Well Me: If you need a place to hide out from fancy food and grabby people Me: You know where to come Me: I don’t really do fancy food Steve: What about the grabbing?

‘Buddy, I wish,’ I thought and rolled my eyes. He had no idea. And he never would. Hopefully.

Me: I like to think I’m respectful of personal bubbles Steve: Except when I steal your food Me: Well yeah Me: At that point you’re a thief Me: And punishment must be meted out Steve: Crap Steve: Tony saw me, gotta go Me: Good luck Steve: Gee thanks

I sent him a sweet smiley face, because some things just couldn’t be helped.

Karma kicked my ass the very next day when I woke up with such a sudden and severe cold that made me call out of work. I was just barely considering getting out of bed for maybe some soup or a slow crawl directly to the morgue when my phone buzzed.

Steve: I think I hate you Me: I didn’t do it Steve: Another party Me: … Me: … Me: Dude Me: It’s ten am? Steve: It’s tonight Me: I’m sick Me: Come over and I’ll cough on you Steve: I can’t get sick Steve: I never thought I’d be sad about that Steve: Wait Steve: You’re sick?

I rolled my eyes. And winced, because that just hurt my fucking head.

Me: Yeah. Staying home today. Steve: Do you need anything? Steve: Help? Food?

I really wished he could stop being so sweet. It was a real fucking problem sometimes– like now, when I could think of a whole list of things I wanted his help with that was just slightly past the friends barrier. Or maybe friends cuddled and I was just out of the loop? I made a mental note to look into that, when I was slightly less disgusting.

Me: No thanks Me: Got medicine, got soup, got bed Me: Just need to decide if I can keep anything down Steve: Oh :( Me: I’ll be okay Me: Just need some sleep to kick this in the ass

And warm arms wrapped around me, but I kept that to myself. Maybe I’d have a nice dream later.

Steve: You do that Steve: Get plenty of rest Steve: And call if you need anything Steve: I will be incredibly motivated as of 9pm tonight Me: Oof Me: I would offer to be your excuse Me: But I’m hoping a cocktail of cough syrup and pain meds will make that way past my bedtime Steve: Stay safe Me: I will. Worrywart Steve: Yup <3

He was trying to kill me; I knew it. However I was so exhausted I just sent him a quick ‘bye’ and crawled back under the covers to be miserable and whiny on my own. Admittedly, ‘on my own’ left much to be desired these days, but I got through it like I always did.

Except for the container of soup from a local Chinese place that somehow made it to my door that afternoon. That was new addition to my ‘get better’ routine. But very much welcome.

Steve: Sigh

I already knew what was coming. Mostly because I was trapped in a similar hell.

Me: At least it’s close enough to an appropriate date Steve: I guess Steve: What are you doing? Me: Work holiday party Me: fml

A couple of women greeted each other nearby in tones that varied up and down but they all stayed pretty equally loud, and I ducked closer to the table, under which I hid my phone.

Steve: I guess it’s true Steve: Misery does love company

I sent him a line of middle fingers

Me: How’s YOUR party? Steve: Zzzzzzzzz

I ducked down further to hide my laughter.

Me: Seriously though Me: How many parties can one guy have? Steve: So many, apparently Steve: Last year wasn’t this bad Steve: He did get mildly offended you haven’t been to a one Me: Ugh Me: Wait, sorry Me: I don’t really mean that Me: I just have no idea how to do damage control with that guy Me: I don’t know what his deal is Steve: It’s okay Steve: Neither do I Steve: And he’s mostly joking Steve: I think Me: Good Me: I’d rather get along peaceably with your other friends Steve: Or be friends with them?

I thought about it.

Me: Gotta be honest Me: You have a lot of friends Me: That sounds like a lot of work Steve: They’re not so bad

I heard my name and glanced up to see my boss was looking around.

Me: Well you have fun with them Me: gtg boss is looking for me Steve: Don’t get in trouble Steve: I’ll see you later? Me: Later

My boss caught sight of me just as I was slipping my phone away and I subjected myself to being politely social for the rest of the night. I had…a lot more sympathy for Steve after that.

Not that I would ever let him know it.

Steve: Can I come over? Me: Of course

Not one second later I heard the buzzer for the entry go off. I let him up without even looking, so when he actually showed up at the door I froze like a deer in the headlights.

“Hey,” Steve said, his face a mixture of stormy and exhausted and his body clad in a finely (finely) tailored suit. He gave me a tired smile and held up a grocery bag. “I brought payment in snacks.”

Yes. Yes he did. Wait, no, snacks. Plural and actual. Literal. Right. “Sounds, uh, good,” I said and stepped aside to let him in, and I briefly hit my head on the door before I shut it. I turned just in time to see him sit down on my couch like he could sink into it, legs opened up and head thrown back. He shut his eyes and breathed. I took a second to do the same. But he looked so fed up with everything and that ended up being (sadly, selfishly,) good for my focus.

“What happened?” I asked and went to sit next to him as soon as concern won out.

“Nothing,” he said. “I’m just tired.”

I could only imagine. I reached out and squeezed his shoulder– but my instinct to leave my hand there propelled me up and over to the kitchen counter where I started unpacking the bag he brought. The first thing I pulled out was an interesting looking bag of something labeled entirely in Cyrillic. The very next thing I saw, hiding behind it I realized, was a box wrapped in paper and ribbons. I couldn’t even give him the benefit of the doubt– my name was written right there. “Steve.”

“Yes?” he asked, overly innocently and turned his bright blue eyes to me like he was some naïve young farm boy who couldn’t possibly understand why I said his name like that.

He was getting better. My bullshit meter was going off so hard it nearly broke and he still almost got to me. Still, I surreptitiously cleared my throat and said, (quite strongly, I thought,) “That is not going to work on me.”

He didn’t back down. His eyes even seemed to get bigger and bluer. “It’s a good time of year to get gifts for your friends, even if for no real reason. Besides, it’s just something I saw that I thought you would like. It’s no big deal.”

“Uh huh.” I liked the way he stretched his arm across the couch, and the way he stole glances at me like I wouldn’t notice. Starting off strong, getting weaker by the moment; I needed to tell Natasha to up his spy training. “Real subtle.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said and grabbed the remote. While he pretended to give a shit about holiday programming I rifled through the rest of the bag, dumped the caramel popcorn into a bowl, and took the bowl and the gift over to the couch where I plopped down as hard as I could in an effort to be as annoying as possible. He didn’t even flinch, just smiled as I put the popcorn in between us on the couch. The gift I set in the center of my coffee table, where it actually looked really nice.

“Aren't you going to open it?” Steve asked, trying to look like he was watching Jimmy Stewart get his Christmas miracle but, again, his eyes kept darting; this time between me and the gift.

“Mm.” I shrugged but inside I was taking my inner impatient five-year-old and turning her into a moustache-twirling villain, with the gift tied to the train tracks. It felt good. “It’s a Christmas gift, right?”

“Not necessarily,” he said.

“Well, I think most single gifts get opened on the 25th, so I’ll wait,” I said, grabbed a handful of popcorn, and settled in to enjoy a bell ringing like I never had before.

“It’s a– a December gift,” Steve insisted.

“Oh,” I said. “Then I have until December 31st to open it.”

“It’s A Wonderful Life” suddenly became the title of my night, maybe even my autobiography, when Steve said my name in the whiniest fucking tone I had ever heard outside of a bad comedy sketch about nasally nerds. I almost dropped the popcorn I held and, when I turned my head to stare at him, he was almost literally beet red.

“Can we pretend that didn’t come out like that?” he asked, looking down like he could stare right through the floor. I had never before seen someone who actually looked like they desperately wanted to be swallowed whole. “As a present to me?”

“Wow,” I said, because it was all I could say. Already the sweet sound of memory was fading, and I tried to hold onto it. “I got you an actual present so no. But wow. Wow. Happy holidays to me. Wow.”

“I’m taking my gift back,” he grumbled and made as if to grab it.

I curled forward to protect it but I moved too fast and accidentally dropped some of my snack, though Steve kept me from cracking my head on the table. “Shit,” I said and hurried to pick up the bits of food. “I just cleaned; if you make me get popcorn bits on my floor I’m making you drag out the vacuum.”

“I don’t think your neighbors would appreciate that right now,” Steve said and wolfed down his own heaping handful of the caramel corn, though he put the bowl on the table.

“My downstairs neighbor has a pre-teen who’s getting into EDM,” I said and pulled the gift into my lap. “Let them suffer as I have suffered.”

“Mm hm,” Steve said, already pretty thoroughly checked out as I turned the box over in my hands.

It wasn’t heavy, but it wasn’t tiny, and it was a fairly standard box so I had no idea what it could be. Maddening. I decided to put us both out of our misery.

“Really?” Steve said as I started picking at the tape on the side. “Are you going to save the paper?”

“Weeeeellllll…” I debated whether or not I should admit my failings, but came out on the side that it would make him smile and I couldn’t find anything wrong with that. Short of an unintentional Three Stooges act there was no way I was topping his whiny self. “I maybe didn’t get a chance to go buy wrapping paper for your gift, sooo…” After a moment I stole a glance, and sure enough, he was smiling.

“You didn’t?” he asked and even let out a little laugh.

“We’re saving the environment,” I said as I started peeling back the paper.

“Sure,” he chuckled. “You, me, and five square feet of wrapping paper.”

“There’s no way there’s that much on here,” I muttered as one corner decided to be a bitch. “How much tape did you use on this thing?”

“I didn’t know we’d be sharing it,” he said, and while he amused himself by harping on the point, I got my wrapping paper off and set it aside.

“–nd you’re not even listening to me, are you?”

“Why would I start now?” The box was plain and, at least for that, I had no compunctions about ripping the tape off. Inside was a lot of paper sitting under a small rectangular box and a shiny black satchel. “Thanks for the great packing materials,” I said as I dug around to make sure I wasn’t missing anything, but it seemed to be just the box and tiny bag.

“Happy to help,” Steve said but he sounded distant. He was staring at the gifts. I took another look at them and my stomach did a flip. The little rectangular box reminded me of–

“Open the box first and then open the bag right after,” Steve said. “It’ll make more sense then.”

When I opened the little box and saw a bracelet I had to hope it was going to make sense. It was…shiny and looked like silver. Chunky but plain. That was a good sign, right? Nice and shiny but plainly platonic. Right? I opened the little satchel and dug out tiny matching metal pieces that were shaped like…oh.

“Wow,” I said and spread the charms on the table around the bracelet still sitting in its pillowed case. “This is…Steve, this is so nice.”

“Oh thank God,” he said and let out a breath that sounded like it was as big as the one still locked in my chest. “I don’t see you wear a lot of jewelry but I saw the charms and it just seemed perfect. The metal’s super hypoallergenic or something– the woman was telling me that it should be fine for anyone with sensitivity to certain metals and I don’t know if you do, but I thought it was better to be safe, and it’s pretty, or I thought so–”

“It’s very pretty,” I said, a smile taking over. What the hell was he so nervous about? Whatever; even his babbling was charming and cute and I tried my best not to think that way because I should have been making fun of him, like a good friend, but I couldn’t rag on him while he was so excited. Or maybe I just couldn’t bring myself to rag on him about this.

“Here,” Steve said, reaching over and taking the bracelet out. Big fingers fumbled with the clasp but he put it on my wrist, and then he went for the charms. He held up the coffee cup. “Obviously,” he said and somehow managed not to fumble that time when he attached it. A cloud, “because you can be pretty gloomy and cranky sometimes,” and when I flipped him off with my other hand he just said, “see?” as he put it on. The book was, “again, pretty obvious.”

Then he put the joystick on and squinted at it for a second before he looked up at me, bright eyes framed by dark lashes, and wet pink lips I couldn’t kiss as someone I deeply cared for leaned into my personal space and gave me jewelry for Christmas. I looked down at the bracelet and focused on being grateful for the sweet, generous gesture this was rather than what I wished it could be. The bracelet itself wasn’t too much. It felt comfortable.

“I asked her if they had anything video game related and she said this was a good one,” he said, but he didn’t sound convinced. It took me a moment to remember what he was referring to. Joystick. Right.

“Remind me to take you to an arcade,” I said and held my arm up to the light. The charms were fun but plain and melded easily together from a distance; I could wear this anywhere and have it be appropriate. But I would know what it really was. “This is…so thoughtful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said warmly. Softly. All of a sudden those repressed feelings surged forward to make my chest ache and for just a moment I thought of a world where he gave me jewelry and it meant something more. But I lived in a world where he gave me a piece of jewelry and looked quietly pleased with himself while I sat and admired it. It didn’t mean anything; it didn’t mean–

Actually, no, that was wrong. It did mean something. It meant Steve was a really good friend who gave me a wonderfully thoughtful gift. I really needed to stop being in my own fucking head so much or I was going to lose everything I already did have.

But I still needed a moment to come back down from the urge to hug him way too tight. “This is so nice, Steve, thank you,” I said and stood quickly, box and wrapping paper in hand. “I can’t lie, yours aren’t as amazing, so get your acting chops up while I’m wrapping them.”

“You know you can just give them to me,” Steve told me as I walked around the other side of the room to avoid any chance of tripping over him.

“Nope!” I said and shut the door to my room. Safe and alone, I breathed– but not too loud, because he might hear me. I grabbed his gifts and shoved them in the box (stuffed them, really) so I couldn’t think too hard and chicken out of giving him something. I messed up at a couple of points with the tape and, rather than ripping the already well-used paper by trying to fix it…I decided to go with it.

One full roll of transparent tape later, I walked back out feeling a little more composed, a little more me. I stood in front of Steve and proudly held out the box.

“It’s very shiny,” he remarked as he took it and looked it over. From the second I sat on the couch I was on the edge of it, eager to see what he would do. Would he try to return the favor by removing all the tape? Would he try scrabbling for an edge? Would he try tearing the paper to ribbons only for the tape to stick all over his hands?

None, apparently– he just pushed his fingers clean through the box right next to the edge and ripped the side right off. “Hey!” I said, because hey, no fair, but he just laughed at me and shook out his gifts onto the couch in between us. I crossed my arms. “You're no fun.”

“No fun at all,” he agreed happily and picked up the beanies. He rubbed one of them between his fingers. “These are very nice.”

“They’re good quality and warm and you look good in beanies,” I said. He put one on haphazardly and I laughed. “Maybe not with tuxes.”

“It does feel nice though; thanks,” he said and sorted through them. “I like the colors too.”

“Yeah, they’re all earthy or whatever,” I said and pointed at the most important gift.

“Unicorn slippers!” he said, seeming actually delighted as he picked them up. He then immediately took off his socks and shoes to put them on. “They fit! They’re soft.”

It was no bracelet, but I couldn’t keep a smile off my face. “I maybe hid some measuring tape near the entryway and ran over to your shoes when you went to the bathroom once.”

“Sneaky,” Steve said and set his shiny loafers aside. “I’m going to have to bring them every time I come over.”

“They’re worth it,” I said and wiggled my own unicorn-clad feet.

Steve picked up the last gift. Or ‘gift.’ “That’s not–” I stopped myself and tried to think of what I wanted to say. I just couldn’t figure out how I could say it that I wouldn’t sound stupid. I gave up on the pretense. “So that’s…just a little thing, that can actually stay here if you want, but it is yours. I know you’re not really into games, but I thought if you were over here maybe you could have your own controller.” As he looked it over, I quietly added, “And maybe I can look into…games with two players. If you’d like to play with me sometimes.”

“I would like that,” he said quickly. “To play with you.” He then turned bright red. “In a game– in a video game.”

I would have made fun of him, but I was choked by embarrassment too. Damn it, I had done so well with keeping my daydreams chaste (mostly, mostly chaste) and that fucker had to do that. I swallowed and tried to think of absolutely anything else while the time ticked on and our mutual embarrassment settled in. Luckily Steve still had the perfect distraction in his hands. “Hey– do you like the design?” I asked, looking from the Captain America shield design to Steve and back and back again.

He rolled his eyes. “Where did you even find it?” he asked and set the package down.

“I don’t know who does your marketing but they deserve a raise because they are putting in work,” I said and sat back, a little apart from him. I could only get so far on the same couch in a small apartment, but it was enough.

“I’ll be sure to pass that along,” he said.

The conversation died and I didn’t know if I should say anything or not, but I felt…mostly comfortable. Despite the slightly-less-but-still-a-little awkward silence. Outside was cold but we were warm inside with fuzzy slippers and snacks and a slate of classic Christmas movies.

“Hey Steve?” I said, looking at the TV.

“Yeah?” he asked and leaned in.

I definitely didn’t turn my head– I was afraid the temptation would be too great. So, I resisted. But I still had plenty to be grateful for. “I’m glad you ditched your dumb party to hang out with me.”

He chuckled and scooted closer. His presence was a wall of warmth that was too comfortable, so much so that I got a core workout just from sitting so rigidly upright. But then he said, “So am I,” and, well…it was worth it.

~Later; Avengers Tower~

“I told you you’d break him,” Maria said, sitting on one arm of the couch.

“Excuse me?” Tony extended his arms, drink sloshing dangerously up the sides of his cup. “I don’t see him here. Where do you think he ran to, hm?”

“We don’t know he went there.” Clint said, a little down the bar from Tony. “He could have run home.”

“No, he’s there,” Natasha said, tapping at her phone. “He’s on her couch, I quote, “eating chips in peace.’”

“Ungrateful,” Tony muttered and continued to do so.

The others ignored him. “So are we going to let Steve handle this on his own terms now?” Bruce asked.

“Bruce,” Natasha said, mock-frowning at him. “It’s like you don’t know us.”

Bruce rolled his eyes, but stretched and groaned. “It’s more like I’m partied out, and this isn’t working.”

“Yet!” Tony said and pointed at Bruce– again, with the hand holding the drink, so his drink sloshed over the side and onto Rhodes, who cursed and grabbed napkins to dry his shirt. “It hasn’t worked yet.”

“Tony,” Pepper said, exasperation lacing her tone. “I think it’s time to let this go. He’s going to refuse to come to any more at this point.”

“Except he has to come to the New Year’s Eve party,” he said, looking at her with eyes as serious as he could make them. He only wavered slightly.

“Oh,” Pepper said. “Yes, he has to come to that one.” She looked thoughtful. “Maybe we can make it a bit smaller.”

“‘Just us’ smaller?” Clint asked.

“Not too small,” Natasha said. “She’ll need a place to hide.”

Thor sat on the couch, with Jane sleeping on one of his shoulders and Darcy sleeping on the other, and he looked curiously around the room. “It is interesting that the Captain would be infatuated with a partner so…” He tried to think of a word, and settled on, “Meek.”

Clint and Natasha snorted in unison. “She’s not meek,” Natasha said. “She just keeps to herself and comes around on her own terms.”

Thor brightened and looked to his sleeping girlfriend. “Like my Jane,” he said and faced forward again, keeping his body very still so as not to disturb the sleeping women. “Perhaps Darcy will help in bringing her forward.”

Bruce cleared his throat. “Before we get too ahead of ourselves, how are we sure Steve isn’t going to skip the next party?”

“He won’t,” Natasha said. “As long as everyone shows up– and they will,” she said, shooting a look at Bruce. He, naturally, withered, and she looked around the room, finally settling on Pepper. “Put her name on the list. I’ll make sure he comes, and I’m certain he will bring his date.”

“The question is: do you think he’ll bring her as a date, or will it become a date?” Maria asked idly.

“Are we betting?” Pepper asked brightly.

As the rest of the group got involved in the debate, Bruce and Phil stared from their positions against the wall. “Poor Steve,” Bruce said. When Phil lifted his glass Bruce clinked his against it, and then they both downed the last of their drinks in unison.

~The next day~

Steve: Please Me: Steve Steve: PLEASE Me: …Are you on your knees or something? Steve: If I was and I took a picture would you come with me? Me: You seriously want me to come along that bad? Me: Why can’t you skip out? Steve: The NYE party is a big one Steve: Or so I have been told Steve: Sam is coming Steve: And I missed Thor at the last party Steve: I will never hear the end of it if I miss him at this one Steve: Please? Me: We forgot to go on that shopping trip for your spine Steve: It won’t do me much good when Natasha removes it Steve: She said I HAVE to go Steve: But Tony and Pepper always have good food Steve: And good alcohol Steve: And he pays the bartenders so well you literally aren’t allowed to tip Steve: Please? Me: … Me: I’m going to have to wear a nice dress Me: And makeup Me: And travel through the city on New Year’s Eve Me: To a big social event Me: This is going to sound weird because Stark’s parties are some hot thing apparently but Me: You are going to owe me so fucking big Steve: I already owe you! Steve: Thank you!

He went on to thank me in a variety of ways that normally would have made me laugh, but I already really regretted saying yes. Steve, all of his friends, me, and booze– I hit my head against my phone for each miserable fucking point. Oh, and people tended to kiss at midnight. Thinking of all the good alcohol made me feel sour, because I wasn’t going to be able to allow myself much of it. Not if I wanted to succeed in keeping my secret crush secret. And even with that pre-new year resolution, I still had a really bad feeling that I wasn’t going to be under wraps for long.

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers & reader #captain america fanfic #avengers fanfic #reader insert #lunch buddy #gift exchange #holiday parties #parties #texting #i love the texting bits but formatting them will be the fucking death of me

97 notes · View notes

fantasyizlife · 6 years ago

Text

Need Help?

Need Help?

Summary: Tom and Jessa are nothing more than friends/co-workers. Even after a mutual agreement to leave a hot romance behind when they wrapped up the first Spider-man. Jessa and Tom are now on the set of Far From Home and they are anything but far from each other. This one-shot is a steamy game of promise that heats up into old flames exploding for each other.

Warnings: angst, cheating-ish and smut

Word count: 6340

Dear me,

(self journal entry due to extreme boredom and frustration. I need to work this out.)

Being in the limelight was never easy. Making real friends was close to impossible due to the back stabbing so many did just get ahead of you or literally destroy you. Love? Forget about it! As soon as you were spotted with a person, you were immediately labeled and judged, either loved or hated by each others so called fandoms, just for being seen together! Yeah yeah, the rich and famous ask for the spotlight, we are supposed to bow down for our fans right? After all, they are who make or break us! I mean I love my fans, most famous people do. But at what point do they draw a line for themselves? Why are we on Instagram apologizing for being unable to leave our hotel room due to the massive crowds that have become unsafe for us but mainely them? Sorry for my rant, I’m just in my own head trying to sort shit out as I’m dealing with a girly issue and no one to talk to about it because my bff is locked in my ex’s-yet still friends trailer on the streets of New York and due to the crowds lined around the block none of us are going anywhere.

That includes my new almost-boyfriend? He was going to fly in tonight and spend some of my tomorrow off with me. But with crazy fans for blocks, he would be spotted and yet another clue for our fandoms would be dropped and they already had us together, despite our constant denial and countless “just friends” comments. So he opted to stay in Vegas until his next performance that was only in three days. I mean we've been dating for a few months but he refuses to go deeper or past second base, we made it to third base once, but it was a weak moment on his part, (so he said after he stopped us midaction). He says he’s waiting for me to be ready. I didn’t understand until he told me bluntly one night after an award show that we attended an after party with friends including Tom that I had feelings for Tom. Like seriously? Tom? I didn’t even introduce him as an ex when they first met because Tom was a friend, it's all we are! The one and only friend that I had hooked up with a handful of times and hung out with while filming Spiderman, perhaps with a few private moments on the promo tour but we had let it drift apart mutually, as friends. Because while filming that movie, I had met a group of people and we all bonded, they were my age and we wanted to remain good friends, all kinds of relationships crumble in the Hollywood spotlight. Each of us made an effort, celebrating birthdays and holidays. Each of us hosting parties to make sure we could keep this bond alive. Being that I was an original Avenger I was at most of the panels and meet and greets, but nothing ever happened between Tom and me after HOCO. And nothing was happening now. Except the man I wanted/want to build a relationship with isn’t willing to share more of his heart or his body until he deems me safe to fall in love with, and I know he is ready! We women know, am I right?

I’m on my second mini bottle of Sangria and the drunk me is starting to come out. I’m sitting alone in my room watching the crowd still hanging around the trailer with no end in sight. If I hadn't reserved this quiet space for me to spend some quality time with my...FUCK! What do I even call him? He’s not my boyfriend, but were exclusive to one another. Without a doubt I’m head over heels for him. He’s the perfect guy for me. A small part of me wonders if he’s just waiting for me to get this movie out of the way because my contract with Marvel is up after Avengers 4 and this sequel...wait is “Exclusive” jelly of Tom and me spending time together? NO! Possible? Sure! See this is why I need Zendaya! She can brainstorm with me and help me relax. But she’s trapped and I’m typing at a empty screen...fuck it, I’m going in. It’s that or make myself crazy sitting here trying to figure this out.

Note to self: Your drunk, this isn’t a good ideal but your testing out your bad ideals tonight!

I lock the laptop and call Z as I gather some night clothes, I’ll be lucky to make it inside let alone back out before morning. She answers on the second try as my elevator descends thirty floors. With bottles clinking in my overnight bag, I step into the lobby. I’m instantly blinded by cameras and bombarded with requests of autographs and pictures. Question about Mr. Exclusive and myself. I all but burst into tears and opt for buzzed induced laughter as I press the doors closed and hit my floor number. I had even forgotten she was on the phone.

“Jessa, what's going on? Are you okay?” she yells into the phone getting my attention.

“I just wanted to see you, I need you Z! Hell I just wanted to share my sangria and catch up.” I exhaled my breath as I opened the door to my lonely dark room lit by screen saver of Mr. Exclusives and mines face. I roll my eyes at it and go over to the window to look down at their trailer. I can hear Tom, Harry and Haz laughing, music playing and grown boys making silly bets.

“Wait did you say share sangria?” she laughed into the phone as I whined like a baby at the fun they were having together. “Bitch we are on the way up, that is if you have enough!” she giggled. “And wait, Jess what happened to you and..” I cut her off before I was sucked into misery again.

“I have plenty babes, and I‘m lonely, let’s just say flights are canceled and I need my friends.” She promised me they would be right up and after 30 minutes of fighting the crowd they were all at my door.

The room was filled with laughs, music and familiar warmth as I slowly sipped my fourth bottle. They had my mini bar drained and restocked twice. They were stuck without food or drinks because of the mob so this was paradise to them and they were mine. I heard my phone ringing and seen it was him so I went into the bedroom just to block some of the noise. I knew the second I answered he was buzzing too.

“Hey baby” he smiled so big from his hotel bed. HUH..and no shirt..FML! I smiled goofily at the screen as he called me out for being more than buzzed. I dropped to the bed and looked at him.

“Sounds like you have company?” he smiled so cute it made my heart swell.

“I do, I was really bummed by you not coming so everyone came to see me! Were playing truth or dare next, I swear were such kids at times, the cool kind for sure!” I smiled as he bit his lip. “Don’t do that baby, please don’t do that, especially not now.” I whimpered wishing he was here to kiss. He moaned into his pillow and peeked back up to me. His mood had changed slightly.

“I wouldn’t want to get you hot, not while you have company especially while he’s there.” I questioned him with my eyes and they went wide as I looked at who was in my room...Tom.

“Jess can you please call me when you go to bed, promise me no matter what time it is?” he asked looking kinda pissed. Holy crap, is he serious? He is jelly of Tom! I assured him I would call as we said goodbye.

“I’m sorry, I was just coming in here to tell you it was your turn luv.” Tom stood still and raised his arms in defense. His sweet smile made my tummy flip flop.

“No biggie Tom, he’s um..worried when I’m around you, it’s stupid.” I lied smelling his fucking cologne. I closed my eyes blowing out a breath trying to center my focus.

Tom leaned in so close his warm breath gave me goosebumps and my nipples betrayed me turning hard and aching for his expert touch. “Can’t imagine why Jessa.” he winked at me and left me to go join the others. I had to take a moment.

I went back to my friends all sitting around the table and at the same time they yelled Jessa’s turn! Just like old times my mood was back on point

“I’m starting easy because I don’t know what tea was spilled while I was away so dare!” I smiled looking to see who’s turn it was. Tom leaned in.

“Smart girl” he said in a tone that made my nipples come alive again. I hid them by crossing my arms and shifting in my seat.

“I know better, truth can be more dangerous with this group, especially while drunk!”

“Dare it is!” Tom declared standing up grabbing my empty bottle “I spin this and you kiss whoever it lands on.” he winked setting it on the table. My eyes widen with fear.

“I..I..I can’t do that Tom, I’m in a..huh..” I couldn’t say the words, it just felt wrong.

“Relax darling, it will be a quick kiss on the cheek. Nothing more, no worries.” he smiled biting his lip hard. I swallowed nervously as it spun round and round. I was way too nervous as it slowed down so I closed my eyes. Everyone but Tom cheered as it landed on Zendaya. I smirked as she laughed.

“Two can play this game Tom.” I whispered as I got on the table and crawled across it. She shook her head at me and held out her beautiful long arms. She even helped me off the table and onto her lap as she licked her lips brushing my hair away and blocking their view. The music was loud and it wrecked any chance of them hearing us, jokes on them.

“He won’t stop asking about you Jessa, he driving us all crazy.” she whispered tilting my neck for appearance reasons. “He wants to know if your with him and why he didn’t come?” she laughed.

“I want to know who told him I was with Tom in the first place, it wasn’t serious for us. Now it’s cock blocking me.” I frowned.

“Apparently serious enough for him to find out, to someone anyways.” she sighed telling me something I hadn’t thought about. Tom must have told him, who else? But why? I looked at him and she quickly pulled my face to hers kissing me on the lips to shut me up. The guys all laughed per usual as we shared a weird knowing look. She glanced behind me and in the windows reflection I could see Haz staring at us. My eyes bugged out as I mouthed NO WAY!

“Some fires never die doll, we've been creeping all week, and I call dibs on the spare bedroom.” My mouth dropped open as she tapped my ass lightly and told me to move.

I got up looking blown away, but happy for her and him. And now it was my turn and Tom was my target. I sat across from him and asked him truth or dare. I raised my eyebrow for him to challenge me.

“Truth, darling, always truth for you pretty girl.” he cooed making my face heat up at my very personal nickname he only called me when we were intimate.

“Did you tell a certain someone about us Tommy?” I cooed his nickname back making him slightly uncomfortable. His brown eyes closed as he pulled back his long loose brown curls. Then he bit his lip to hide his victory smile before I could rephrase it to my advantage.

“Yes darling, I did tell a certain someone about us, in fact I don’t think I ever stopped, right Haz?”

I got up from the table knowing he won fair and square. I was too drunk to focus on all this.

We popped in a scary movie and all settled in the small living room between bedrooms to watch it. Not even halfway in Harry was falling asleep. Tom told him to go to the second bedroom so we could have more room. Zendaya hit my leg that was draped over hers calling me into action.

“No Harry, take my room, it’s yours and Tom's tonight, your my guest!” I smiled at her.

He shrugged sleepily and headed to bed, not noticing the hell no mood Tom was now sporting. It took Zendaya and Haz ten minutes to depart into the second bedroom. I stretched out on the couch with plenty of room for only two people. My body froze as I felt Tom move underneath my blanket and shift himself behind me. I closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me in a cuddly way. I prayed for the strength to tell him to move back to his side. That strength never came. In fact I pressed my soft body more into his hard one as he kissed my hair and nuzzled my neck. I'm only human, I needed some TLC and this was platonic right? So it was okay, right? I blocked the truth that screamed at me as he squeezed me tighter. Before I knew it the movie was rolling credits and neither one of us were moving for fear of breaking the unspoken agreement. We just needed basic human contact. We weren't wrong for that. Right? I started to close my eyes as his breathing grew heavy in a sleeping rhythm.

I was pulled back to reality as my phone started to ring loudly in the quiet living room. I reached for it underneath the covers finding something harder between Tom's powerful thighs instead. He moaned in response as he handed me my glowing screen filled with a beautiful face. My heart was in my throat as I realized I was supposed to call him before bed and he was probably pacing his hotel room by now. I sat up, my eyes pleading Tom's sleepy eyes to give me privacy and he did without protest as he slipped inside my room and closed the door. I answered his second call on the first ring.

“Hi babe, I'm sorry I didn't call you, we watched a movie and I fell asleep on the couch.” I pouted as his worried brows pinched together even more.

“I can see that Jessa.” he smiled to my relief. “Did they leave you alone all by your beautiful sexy self?” he asked biting his lip giving me that look that said he was in a playful phone sex kind of mood. Fuck, he was honestly so hot, just as much as he was sweet. I wished he was here even more. It was clear he was intoxicated and wanting me in ways he practiced restraint from. This was a time he was willing to slip.

“Actually, I'm not alone sexy, they are asleep in the bedrooms, I'm just being kind.”

He pouted at the thought but quickly brushed it aside. “What's on your mind?” I whispered as he chewed his lip.

“You Jess, and your beautiful lips, I haven't seen you in almost a month, I miss all of you sweetheart, I promise, but tonight...I miss your body so much. Fuck I regret not making love to you. I actually regret it a lot.” he said soft rolling onto his back. “Babe, can we play? I really fucking need you.” he moaned showing me he was naked under his sheets and rock hard.

Between my alcohol fueled blood and my heated craving for him, I was more than willing to play.

“Take your clothes off, please Jessa” he begged as he stroked himself a few times.

Fuck, he was hot...and so was I. He wasn't holding back tonight. I lived to hear him moan my name, he made it sound so beautiful. I pulled my bottoms off and held my panties up for him.

“Humm, let me watch you take the rest off.” I bit my lip and set the phone against the covers as I did as he asked. “Your so beautiful Jessa.” he moaned heavily as I caressed my breast for him. “Touch yourself, and say my name, please baby” he said as his face flushed.

He wasn't very verbal but he always tried for me, I usually had to lead him into it. Tonight we just flowed off one another. I did everything he asked me too and tried to keep it quiet, my headphones were in my bag along with my mini friend so getting release wasn't as easy for me. But I didn't let him know that. I could take care of myself later. As he got closer I whimpered wondering how his big cock would feel inside me. He was very skilled with his hands and mouth, I couldn't wait to see how good he could really make me feel.

“I want you baby, please tell me I can have all of you when I see you next time, my body is crazy wondering what you feel like...please..please, say yes to me.” I begged as he found release. I could tell from his smile as he came down that he was considering it.

“As soon as your away from Tom, how about we give our bodies what they want?” he smiled both sexy and shy. I smiled back as I agreed and we said good night.

I stared at the ceiling trying to unwind my body from not getting its release. A cold shower would have to do. I sat up to grab my shirt from the floor and my bedroom door opened. I knew who it was without looking. I covered my naked body as I met Toms hooded dark gaze. He smiled causing me to shake my head and bite my lip, he had heard it all. He leaned against the wall and I looked anywhere but at him.

“Need help pretty baby?” he asked raising his unruly brow and licking his lips. “Has he really not made love to you yet?” I sighed feeling my body tingle as I exhaled ready to spill the tea.“Have you and him not..like ever?” he asked almost excited by the discovery. My face flushed hot at his sexy tone. “Is it my fault? If it is you should let me make it up to you.”

“Make it up how Tom?” I mumbled as my core heated at the thought.

“I'll make you cum, you won't have to fake it with me either, promise sexy baby”

“Tom I can't, I'm not a cheater, you should know that about me. Even if you were the last.., I..I..just won't.” I sighed laying down and covering my embarrassment.

“Wait, what..?” he said coming closer to me.

“You have to let me help now, I won't touch, I promise.” he pulled the covers off my face and winked at me.

“But how..” I whined covering my eyes with my arm. He pulled the covers down exposing my rock hard nipples. I covered my breasts with my hands and locked eyes with him.

“Just like that pretty baby, do it just like I would.” he said moving the hair away from my face and placing his hand over mine.

“Go slow, feel every inch of your soft skin as you slide lower. Feel your heart race as I bite at your skin.” he watched my hand as I pinched my nipple hard, making a trail with my other hand like he used to before he touched me everywhere and anywhere but where I ached for him to touch.

“Yes pretty baby, listen to your breathing, you can't wait to cum can you?” he said in my ear, his breath on my neck.

“Tommy, I can't..I can't.” I moaned

“Yes you can, it's just you baby.” he encouraged

“That's the problem, I haven't been with anyone since..” I hid my face in the couch “I need my magic wand.” I laughed feeling embarrassed at the name he gave it so long ago.

“Is it here..where? I'll grab it!” he stood up revealing his hard on. I pointed at my room and he went in without further instructions because he's the one who bought it for me with a pillow that had a hidden compartment that was made for hiding toys. He was gone all of 60 seconds. No time to process what we were getting into.

He pulled off his shirt and I grabbed it from him covering my face and to inhale his scent. Wow, I was intoxicated by him and sangria, not sure who had my mind more blown.

“Can we try..with the magic wand first?” he said taking my hand into his and placing it onto my stomach. I shook my head yes with my face hot under his shirt. He pulled it away and I held it with my teeth causing him to laugh.

“Touch yourself Jessa, let me watch.” he begged, coming so close to my face his hair tickled my skin making my nipples painfully harder. I closed my eyes as he pushed the covers all the way off of me, exposing my naked hot skin to the chill in the air. His warm breath made me arch my back as he blew over my breast. His lips touched them as a consequence of my sudden reaction.

“Fuck, sexy baby, don't make me break my promise.” he said pushing my fingers inside me with his hand on mine. His fingers were soaked instantly and he sucked them clean.

I let out a cry as his palm brushed my sensitive nub and I worked my fingers slowly. He whispered encouraging hot words as the sounds of my moans and wet sex filled the quiet room. He watched me as I hid my face from his. I knew I shouldn't moan his name but I wanted to, it was messing with my task at hand.

“Stop holding back, if I wasn't here what would you be doing Jess?” he said tilting my face to his. This was sensory overload but I couldn't say it, it wouldn't come out. He moved away from my face and I felt the couch dip as he kneeled between my legs.

“Oh shit Tom!” I cried out as he blew his breath on my silky sex. My eyes rolled into my head as his hair brushed my legs.

“Cum Jess, give your kitty what it needs” he moaned hovering above my body. His arms held him just above my stomach, not breaking his promise. “Look at me when you cum beautiful.” he said biting his lip hard.

I stared into his beautiful dark eyes as mine glazed over and his name fell from my lips.

“Fuck, your so beautiful Jessa, he has no idea what he's missing.” he moaned moving lower again. His hair tickled my legs as he leaned down too close to my entrance.

I closed my legs on instinct with his face in between. He smiled as I covered my exposed sex and took my hand away, placing it into his mouth. I watched wide eyed as he now licked my silky sex from my hand. “I want you so bad baby, I wish I could show you just how much, but hopefully I can while keeping my promise.”

Without warning he slipped my magic wand through my folds and rubbed it over my swollen clit. I arched my back pressing it into his hard shirtless chest as he pushed it inside me slowly until he hit my wall. He let out a moan as my breast kept colliding into his chest.

“Tom..ohhh fuck!” I gasped as he aimed it up and applied pressure to where he knew my g-spot was. Then he hit vibrate as he held it in place. My hips bucked upwards causing his hand to slide across my wet sex. He let out a rough growl and put his legs over my feet to hold me down. He smirked at me as I begged him to fuck me, he knew my body like it still belonged to him. And yeah, perhaps it did.

“Cum for your Tommy, pinch your clit for me baby, I want to watch you explode in my hands.” he moaned as he pulled my hand to meet his.

I did everything he asked and as I felt the wave crash I screamed his name hard as I came. My body went wild as the sounds of my soaked kitty echoed in the room.

Tom didn't give me time to recover as he worked the wand with a quick pace. I tried to push him away but he wasn't having it. I held onto his hand and dug my nails into his flesh as I cried with pleasure into his shirt, trying to block the sounds. He leaned over me and pulled it away from my face as I repeated his name and begged him to fuck me. He put his left hand on the side of my face and held himself up as he worked the toy faster. He looked at every inch of my face and my breast. His attention was everywhere, he was growing frantic as my second orgasm was draining my voice from my lungs. I kissed his strong arm and licked the veins that popped out before I bit down as I exploded again. He blew his breath over my hot sweat soaked body as he held the wand inside me letting me come down. My legs trembled uncontrollably and traveled to my lungs as I tried to steady my breaths.

“Wow.wow.wow. baby, that was amazing, you really haven't been touched since me have you?” he looked at me differently and it made me want to hide.

“I haven't been with anyone since you, I haven't even bothered until..well..him.” I swallowed feeling embarrassed and confused “He refused to be with me until he knew I could give all of me to him, he was..is..intimidated by you Tom.”

He wrapped my wand in his shirt and slipped it under the blankets. I sat up on my elbows looking at his body and seeing how hard he has been working on it. He looked bigger and more defined. My mouth dropped open as he undid his pants and his hard cock peeked out of his boxer briefs.

“I'm sorry, I'm in pain baby..I'll be right back.” he got up quickly and headed towards the bathroom. I didn't think I just acted. I slipped on my panties and went into the bathroom as he started to undress and turned on the shower. I locked the door as he turned around shaking his head no at me.

“I made a promise, I keep my promises Jess.” he said stern pointing at the door.

“Tommy, please just let me help, I’ll keep your promise too.” I pleaded biting my lip hard. His precum was glistening on the tip of his cock. I leaned against the counter and begged him with my eyes. “Please, I even put my panties back on so we still won't be touching, just trust me.” I begged wanting more by the second.

Tom closed his eyes and fisted his messy hair. When he opened his eyes, they were filled with hunger. He rested his forehead against mine and gripped the counter as the head of his cock rested against his belly. I hooked my fingers into his boxers and pulled him hard against my body. I rocked my hips back and forth as I played with my breasts for him. His tight boxers were soaked in seconds and clung to the thin lace of my panties.

He looked into my eyes, deciding for himself. I moaned his name as he lifted one leg around his hip and held it there. He was struggling to stay in control. He pulled up my other leg.

“Fuck I need to be inside you Jessa.” he whimpered.

He rolled more precum around his tip and squeezed tight. I reached down in a lusty haze and he wrapped my arms around his strong neck before removing me off the sink and into the shower. The water was hot but he shielded me from the pain with his body and rested me against the cold tiled wall as he reached to adjust the temp. The water soaked his hair and ran down his face, his long lashes, perfect jawline, thick neck, broad shoulders, pecs that were a hella in shape. He looked up at me and pulled my lip out of my teeth with a smile that melted my heart.

“Your going to make your lip swollen luv, that’s for someone else to do.” he said staring at my mouth. I stuck my tongue out and he ran his thumb over it for a impulsive second or two.

He set me down and I turned around to give him a view of my ass, he let out a moan as I pressed my ass against his bare cock. I worked my hips in circles as he rocked his back and forth in perfect rhythm. He gripped my panties hard and made them ride up into my ass crack. It was the only tiny piece of fabric between us but it was enough to keep his promise, if he pulled any more they would tear right off. I pulled away and he whimpered at the loss of contact.

“Time for you to cum for me Tommy.” I moaned as he gripped his thick cock. I held onto his biceps as he stroked himself slow and tight. “I want to taste you, can I?” I whispered as I reached for the body wash.

He picked me up as I opened it and moved me against the wall. My back arched at the coldness of the tiles and he licked the water from my neck, shit this was getting out of control and fast. I squeezed the soap in between our bodies and it did its own thing as he started to trust his body up and down. I could feel my own orgasm build as he moaned my name between clench teeth and I joined in moaning his name. Our eyes kept finding one anothers as both of us could feel my panties shifting and his cock making contact with my bare sex. He stopped thrusting and I pulled his hair as I adjusted his cock to slide in between my legs, against my skin but not my sex. He moaned my name in approval and picked up the pace. I gripped tighter to him as he sang my name beautifully in my ear, over and over.

“Cum for me one more time Jess, please sexy baby.” he said rubbing his nose against my wet neck. I nodded yes as he pulled my panties away that were pressed against my sex and sent me into a frenzy as he kept his fingers over his thick head. I pushed my foot off the side of the shower and it gave me enough forced weight to spread his fingers, letting the tip slide in. He pulled my hair hard as I exploded on him, his eyes went wide as he felt my hot silk sliding down his hand and cock. “You naughty girl.” he growled.

Tom watched me fall apart and it was his undoing as he squeezed himself tight and jerked his cock faster. I watched his face as he closed his eyes and formed that perfect fucking O as he started to cum all over me and him. The water raced against me as I put some of him in my mouth. His beautiful long lashes opened as he watched me suck my fingers until his taste was absolutely gone. He smiled at me almost shy and my heart did that melting thing again.

His jaw tightened as he struggled to keep a good grip on my wet body. I held on tighter so he could keep me in his arms a little longer. Shit, this was becoming something else. I could feel it. I wasn’t ready to be let go of. My heart started to hammer as he set me down. He kissed my forehead and held me close letting me know he wasn’t going anywhere just yet. We washed each other up and not in a sexual way. He even removed my panties and tossed them by his on the bathroom floor. He watched me clean my kitty and I felt myself wanting him yet again. I would do whatever he wanted to keep his beautiful eyes on me. I turned around to rinse off and was caught off guard when he pulled me into his arms.

“Will you sleep with me tonight Jessa, please?” he asked kissing my neck sweetly. I shook my head yes and he turned off the water. “Okay give me a few moments, you stay here and lotion up. I’ll be right back my beautiful girl.” he got out scooping up the clothes and grabbing a towel. I heard some grunting and whispering from Tom and Harry in the living room. I brushed my teeth as I processed sleeping alone in a bedroom, behind closed doors! On the couch was one thing! I rinsed out my mouth as he came in with a robe. He frowned at my toothbrush and took it from me. I reached for it too late as he stuck it in his mouth. Eww, I hated that when he did that!

“What, you did it first.” he winked getting it wet and adding toothpaste. I rolled my eyes like old times and headed to the bedroom in search of my phone. I did it without further thought and on my own accord. I sent my now ex exclusive a message that we needed a heart to heart. Tomorrow I would confess I still had feelings for Tom like he’s always already known and I would set him free. I turned my phone on silent and got under the covers to wait for my Tom. He came in quietly and made himself at home as he laid on top of my naked skin. I went into auto pilot and ran my fingers through his damp long curls.

“Thank you and that was amazing by the way.” I whispered as he peeked up at me.

“Jess, don’t thank me. Your the one who is amazing.” he whispered kissing my tummy.

“I’m thanking you because you actually kept your promise.”

“I do that quite a lot, yet people are always surprised.” he smiled than quickly frowned. “Perhaps if I would have been honest with you and not your exclusive, we could of saved each other all this confusion.”

I gasped at his confirmation that he did indeed tell him about us.

“Tom, what did you tell him and why?” He rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him now. He looked guilty and sorry. “Is it that bad Tom?” he ran his thumb over my lips as he confessed.

“It was the first time we met, when you brought him to Zendaya's birthday party. After I got liquid courage I pulled him aside and asked him if he cared about you. He answered yes in a defensive way and it pissed me off. So I told him if he didn’t care he could leave because I was ready to prove that I already cared for you. Then I was an asshole and told him he better learn how priceless you are, because during the time I had you I wasted it on being to afraid to tell you and I lost you. He let me walk away without saying a word. I think he was ready to punch me. He didn’t leave your side the rest of the party because if he did I was going to just tell you the truth.”

“What’s truth Tom? Tell me now, perhaps it can save more confusion.”

“You were my closest friend. Number one outside of Haz, Jessa. I always wanted you around. Every tour, every comic con, the interviews..then we became whatever we were. I thought we were piecing the puzzle, then we drifted apart.”

“We agreed friendship wouldn’t add pressure to our skyrocketing careers Tom.” I felt my emotions kick up as he wiped my tear. “I didn’t want to lose you all the way.”

“I only agreed because I thought it was my only option to not lose you either way.”

“Tom tell me the truth you told him..” I said closing my eyes bracing myself.

“I love you Jessa, the truth is I’ve loved you as my friend and just fell deeper in love. I’ve never stopped loving you baby.”

“I love you too Tom and I’m not afraid to keep loving you.”

We drifted off to sleep in eachothers arms, clung to one another like we would never let go.

Thank you for reading this! If you like what your reading, let me know with a like and reblog. I’m sorry for being gone so long but I’m back and have plenty to share. Happy reading until next time! Hugz!!

Tagging for singnal boost I’m sorry just a little nervous after a 4 mo hiatus. Let me know if you want removed and I will :) @hazhasmycoffeex3 @uglypastels @cryssilynn18 @frootloop311 @tentarium @celestesteffens @cartwheelandfaceplant @the-claire-bitch-project

#fantasyizlife #tom holland #tomhollandsmut #oneshot #tom holland fanfiction #sexy tom holland #spiderman far from home #spiderman #marvelsmut #fanfiction #tom holland smut #needhelp #masterlist #mobile masterlist

13 notes · View notes

venus-viz · 6 years ago

Text

Night We’ll Never Forget

Sirius x Reader

Prompt: Your friends try to get you to go to a party, despite your reluctancy. You end up agreeing, and don’t regret it at all.

Word Count: 2,193

Warning(s): Mention of drinking, like one cuss word

Note: This is a modern AU because those are just easier for me to write, haha, hope you don’t mind.

Gif not mine.

(No reposting, please!)

“I already said no.”

An exasperated groan was earned from one of her flat mates. Lily stood watching in amusement, biting into her toast. “Lils, can you please back me up here?” Marlene begged, (Y/N) shaking her head vigorously behind her. Lily seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, but she already had her answer before being asked.

“I think I have to agree with Mar, (Y/N)-” The said female fell back onto her bed dramatically, interrupting the red-head's sentence with a loud sigh of annoyance. “-you’ve been cooped up in here for too long.”

Marlene added on to Lily’s statement, “Yeah and frankly, hon, it’s been affecting you. I swear I heard you reciting Color Theory facts in your sleep when I was going to the bathroom.” (Y/N) let out a breathy laugh, immediately catching herself and trying to keep a poker face. She bit her lip, putting her thoughts together.

“I don’t know, guys...I’m not the best at social events.”

“Then this can be some well-needed practice! If you ever feel uncomfortable, just try to find us.” Marlene reassured.

(Y/N) was about to protest when Lily went before her, throwing a sweet smile over at her. “We care about you, which is why you should take our advice for once in your life. If we turn out to be wrong, you can scold us all you want.” Marlene copied Lily’s expression, throwing her arm around the still unconvinced female. “In addition to what our lovely red-head has stated, if you don’t have a good time, we can't let you tutor us on a hard subject throughout the next two weeks.”

(Y/N) smirked, already liking the benefit she would get from this bargain. “Alright, you guys got me, I’ll go.” Her friends cheered, doing cute victory dances. “However, can you help me pick out an outfit? As smart as I am, I know nothing about these things.” Marlene and Lily shared a knowing look, nodding at each other.

Her room was in a mess of clothing, shoes and makeup within what was probably five minutes. All three girls were sat on the floor, backs against the foot of the bed. (Y/N) glanced across the room while her friends high fived. Judging by the state of her once-neat living quarters, she was scared to think about how crazy things got for them if it was a larger event.

Marlene was the first to speak up after long seconds of silence, “You know, I feel like this is going to be a night we’ll never forget.”

What have I gotten myself into?

- - - -

“You look stunning, love!”

(Y/N) twirled in front of the full-body mirror. Her friends’ compliments made her feel better, but she still felt uncomfortable by the length of the dress. Marlene must’ve noticed. “Girl, can you stop pulling the end of the dress down, you’re goin’ to end up ripping it.” (Y/N) laughed nervously, now conscious of what her hands had been doing. “Right, I just-...I’ve never worn something so short.”

Marlene snorted, checking if her lipstick was alright next to her. “Well, you look mighty fine in it. Don’t steal all the good ones from us tonight.”

Mar’s jokes distracted (Y/N) from her worrisome thoughts.

“Guys, do I look okay?”

The girls turned to the doorway where Lily stood in her flattering lavender dress, her hair in a half-up half-down style.

“Okay? You look better than okay! If James wasn’t head over heels for you already, he definitely will be tonight.”

(Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows. Lily turned a light shade of red while Marlene answered the unspoken question. “James is this guy she met at a café down the block. They hit it off and she gave him his number. He won’t stop sending little flirts and compliments now, it’s honestly so cute.” She giggled with (Y/N) joining in. Lily was really red now, her face unamused. “Can we just go already?”

They shared a few laughs before nodding. The three of them grabbed their phones and purses before heading out.

(Y/N) fumbled as she got her car keys out while putting in the address to her GPS.

Marlene was already giddy and she hadn’t even touched any alcohol yet. “Thanks again for being our ride, (Y/N).” The mentioned female did a toothless smile as she concentrated on putting in the words and numbers correctly.

“It’s no problem, really. Plus, I’m convinced you’ll both be wasted by the end of the night so you need someone to look out for you.”

Both girls gasped, clutching their chests dramatically. Lily did a small ‘humph’ while Marlene protested, saying she knew how to handle herself. “If you think calling me at 3 AM asking where I keep the escaped llamas is handling yourself then yes, you’re totally right Mar.”

They all broke out into laughter, arriving at the car.

After getting comfortable in their seats-with seatbelts, of course-starting the engine and playing some music from (Y/N)’s playlist, they were on their way.

With the melodies of her favorite artists and Marlene’s rambling about how many cute pictures she’s going to take, the amount of time it took to arrive didn’t even cross (Y/N)’s mind.

“Come on, open the door, I’m ready to party!” Lily giggled at Marlene’s remark. Upon unlocking the car doors, Marlene immediately got off, followed by Lily. (Y/N) stayed in her seat, having second thoughts on her decision.

Lily gave her a look, which said she was not going inside unless she was sure (Y/N) was right behind her. She immediately knew all the ‘what if’s that were going through the girl’s mind. “Can you just let your worries go for one night?” It sounded less like a question and more like a command.

(Y/N) sighed, putting her phone away and clutching onto her purse before stepping out. After making sure that the car doors were locked, she walked right next to Lily with Marlene a little ahead.

Upon entering, about a million conversations and music were blasted into her ears. Marlene had already wandered off somewhere, which (Y/N) assumed was the place the drinks were being served. She started chatting with Lily when a messy-haired boy with circular glasses asked if he could borrow her. Judging by the way Lily blushed, (Y/N) automatically guessed it was James. She secretly didn’t want to be left alone but she also wanted her friend to spend time with her crush, even if she denied liking him the whole car ride when it was mentioned.

Guiding herself through a sea of dancing people, (Y/N) found a more secluded spot where she could seat herself down. It’s not that the heels were tiring, but she didn’t want her feet to hurt when she wasn’t even doing anything.

“What’re you doing all alone, love?”

She looked up to see the most beautiful pair of grey eyes she’d ever seen. His long hair framed his face perfectly, and-wait, what was happening again?

“It’s rude to stare, sweetheart.” A smirk tugged at his lips. (Y/N) grew flustered, now realizing she was probably analyzing him for too long. She thanked whatever being may be out there that the multicolored lights made her blush less noticeable. “Sorry-I...can we start over?”

He let out a deep laugh, something (Y/N) would definitely pay to hear again. “Of course.” He held out the hand that wasn’t holding a drink. “The name’s Black, Sirius Black.” She smiled, shaking his hand, which sent sparks through her. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“(Y/N)…" She relished in him saying her name, but quickly interrupted whatever he was going to follow that up with. “If you say ‘beautiful name for a beautiful girl,’ I am leaving this party.”

He immediately closed his mouth, causing her to laugh. Sirius took a seat next to her on the couch. “Did you come here all by yourself?” (Y/N) shook her head, gaining a momentarily disappointed Sirius. “My friends talked me into coming,” His original expression returned. “I don’t usually come to these things.”

“I can tell.”

“Is it that obvious?” (Y/N) bit her lip nervously.

“If you keep doing that, I’ll have no choice but to kiss you on the spot, love.”

She gently shoved him, her face reddening even more. “If you came here with friends, why do I see no evidence of them.”

(Y/N) fidgeted with her hands. “One is probably drunk and dancing her heart out. The other is who-knows-where with this boy. James, I think it was.” Sirius’s eyes evidently lit up. “James is my best mate, guess we were destined to meet anyway.” He sent a wink at her before taking a sip of his drink.

“Is this a hobby of yours, picking up girls with your charming ways.”

“Not always, but I’m glad to see you find me charming, love.” She immediately cursed herself mentally for the words that had come out of her mouth.

“SNUFFLES!”

Sirius coughed awkwardly, sinking down in the couch as if trying not to be seen. This caused her to imitate his smirk. “Odd way to react to such a random statement. Could they possibly be referring to you, Snuffles?” His eyes glared over at her. “Of course not.”

“SNUFFLES ORION BLACK, WHERE ARE YOU?!”

Sirius groaned, running one hand through his hair and covering his face with the other. (Y/N) broke into laughter. After a few seconds, the laughter died down and Sirius moved one finger to see. He expected to find the girl had disappeared only to find she had stood up in front of him and had her hand held out. “They’re trying to find you, yes? We could move out onto the balcony if you like. Unless you want to be found faster.” He shook his head, smiling as he took her hand.

(Y/N) threw open the doors dramatically, “Ah, fresh air. Well, as fresh as it can be from all the cars that have driven past here tonight.” She glanced over at him, the moonlight perfectly highlighting his beautiful features.

“You’re starin’ again, love.” The familiar smirk appeared on his face.

Fml...

“In the good way or the bad way?”

The female’s confused expression at his statement made him laugh. “You were thinking out loud.”

(Y/N) groaned in exasperation. “Can I embarrass myself anymore tonight?”

“I find it kind of cute.”

She blinked, thinking she must have heard it wrong. “I’m-what?”

Sirius expertly switched the topic, although the thought lingered in her mind. They talked for the rest of the night, which was filled with friendly and not-so-friendly banter. They found they really enjoyed talking to each other, having the same humor. Of course, just listening to the other person seemed to entertain them enough.

Sirius got nervous in the middle of the conversation, which didn’t go unnoticed by (Y/N). “Hey, are you alright? You’ve gone really quiet.” He cleared his throat, his eyebrows knitting together, like he was thinking deeply about something. “Yeah, I was just-...you know what, fuck it.” (Y/N) laughed a little from his sudden outburst.

“(Y/N), I don’t want you to be some random person I met at a party. You seem like such a smart, cool, and funny person. Not to mention you’re bloody gorgeous-” A familiar blush spread across her face. “-so, before I chicken out, I need to ask you something. Will you go on a date with me?” (Y/N) froze where she stood. Had she heard him correctly?

Her mouth opened to say something but it instantly closed.

“I’ll take that as a no-”

“NO! God, no-I mean-” Words seemed to be failing her, so she decided to try a different method.

Leaning up, she quickly pressed her lips against his. Sirius’s eyes widened but the shock instantly wore off as he wrapped his hands around her waist. They both smiled into the kiss, (Y/N)’s hands slowly reaching up to touch his hair.

They seemed to forget where they actually were, because they both jumped abruptly when someone opened the doors to the balcony.

Lily stood there, a smirk forming on her lips. “Am I interrupting something?” Both of their faces were reddening by the second. Sirius seemed to get over the situation faster than (Y/N), now smirking back at Lily. “How did your snog sesh with James go, Evans?” Now it was Lily’s turn to blush.

“GET SOME, PADS!”

Sirius broke into laughter, shouting back in response, “GET SOME, PRONGS!”

The girls looked at each other, confused, but laughed along anyway.

Sirius and (Y/N) quickly exchanged phone numbers before they forgot and went back inside with Lily. After a couple more rounds of shots that (Y/N) had no intention in participating in, the party died down and people started leaving. Checking the time, she realized why. Finding Marlene and helping her walk sturdier, she gestured to Lily that they should be leaving too. She smirked when she saw her go up to James and give him a peck on the cheek. Lily mouthed, “Not a word.” over to her.

“I look forward to our date, doll.”

(Y/N) waved with her hand that wasn’t supporting Marlene, smiling to herself on the way out.

Hnnng, it’s posted. Okay. I wanna do better next time, haha. Hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless, although it’s not that great lmao.

#sirius x reader #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #harry potter #hp #sirius black one shot #marauders #marauders imagine #my writing #fanfic #night we'll never forget

99 notes · View notes

thatdamnokie · 7 years ago

Text

today, i watched rocknrolla for the first time and kept a running tab of live commentary which can be found below the cut and is a stupid amount of ridiculous and will not make ANY sense unless you’ve also seen rocknrolla and like--have some vague memory of how the movie happens because this was all pretty much stream-of-consciousness or whatever.

yoooo i dig the opening song. okay. off to a good start.

for real thought the dark castle logo was hogwarts fml

is that… mark’s voice?

who is this muscular motherfucker?

LOOK AT THAT FUCKING BONG PIPE THING

that’s as tall as a toddler what the fuck

look at all these people in this movie!

THAT WAS MARK

mr. strong ladies and gentleman

… wait lenny looks super familiar, what else have i seen him in.

this all seems very complicated.

idris and gerard!

counselor’s cute too

why is everyone in this movie so fucking cute

WHERE ELSE HAVE I SEEN THIS GUY

every time mark speaks i jump

wait is that—gerard’s actual accent?

lenny, you are a terrifying dude.

and mark i want to ruffle your hair.

archie, that profile, sweet gracious.

… fuck he’s in the background and i just can’t stop looking at him.

this all sounds very, very complicated.

he calls him “len” omg

“do i look like a fucking immigrant” u h m

okay so pretty sure i don’t like lenny, they should just let archie be the leader

enter the russiannnsss

your sweater is dumb russian guy

i like his accent though

guys i don’t know enough about real estate hustling to be able to explain this to another person

aw sweet russian sweater man giving him his painting

… wait no camera man show me the painting

��whiskey is the new vodka” sure yuri whatever you say

lenny i can shoot whiskey better than you can you fucking bitch

dude you can’t hold your sauce can you?

archie

archie help him

fuck he is so handsome

that jawline

“famous archie smile” I WANNA SEE

dude you need to be nicer to people when whiskey makes you that sweaty?

… i’m sorry but i think i could outdrink arch’s boss???

bless whoever made mark narrator

yooooo stella!

i like her!

dude she looks boss as fuck

“i don’t feel like smiling”

dude a marriage of convenience where you don’t have regular sex sounds awful

“welcome to the—speeler?” did he say speeler?

tom!

some of the names in the opening credits didn’t look familiar but these faces do.

wait is gerard gay or was he making a joke?

that. accent. gracious.

just picture that growling in your ear. fuck, i want a british boyfriend guys. i mean it.

i like the color scheme of all this like everything’s—muted, but still classy?

okay i dig 1-2 and stella’s broship.

can you imagine just calling him twelve to save time

“just a black eye, nothing more.”

dude she has louboutins! or something like them! the ones with the red bottoms, i’m probably misspelling it.

hanging out at the country club. very classy.

arch, you’re all limbs.

… you’re also scary.

duuuuude he has a way of talking that just makes me nervous. like an undercurrent of a threat, things implied…

“in there like swimwear” i’m stealing that.

duuuuude lenny’s robe though?

i got office envy! look at that desk.

WHO FALLS BACKWARDS IN THEIR CHAIR

oh shit they took the painting

… that i still don’t know what it looks like, guys let me see it

len you are boned.

“and archie’s gonna have to go… to work.”

he is literally the tallest dude in every shot.

is he giving him slapping lessons rn.

… yes he is.

oh no

JESUS

ARCHIE

we do NOT HIT PEOPLE

gracious.

i’m torn because on one hand, that would probably really fucking hurt, his hands are probably as big as my fucking face

on the other hand—would i let mark strong slap me?

… maybe.

“but you keep the receipts because this ain’t the mafia”

idrisssss

fuck if he smiled at me like that i’d do whatever he said too

“everybody have fun tonight! <3” :D EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT

“now fuck off”

oh twelve

ugh all the style in this movie.

wardrobe goals.

i want that bag.

“… maybe.” bro you said that like you wanted the d, and i can’t say i blame you.

i like how yuri says london.

for a split second i thought that was tom holland???

ohhhhh what’s gonna happen now!

does everyone just like—drive mark around in these movies

OMG it’s the same money

this shit is hysterical

i want to mess his hair up. because if we were in public he’d probably hate it and tbh i’d be too scared to do it but maybe privately…

guys… i feel like i’d fit into the uk.

ohhhhh an INFORMANT

… oh that dude is cute!

oh that dude is CRAZY

oh, drugs, right. these are the drugs i do not do.

his name is TWELVE archie

see, he’s so good at being quietly threatening

his laugh is so… <3

i think ship stella and yuri—

oh FUCK i forgot she was married

he’s also gay as shit, yuri

dude she just got so sad…

“you devil”

oh duuuuuude

you want that v so bad and it is so obvious

they both have nice hands.

poor bob. :(

twelve you sweet scottish bastard.

UHM

OKAY

that’s a twist.

twelve noooo

dude be cool

DUDE

DUDE THIS IS NOT HOW YOU HANDLE THIS

CALM DOWN

oh my god

duuuuude, twelve.

dude.

bob. bob honey i am so sorry.

is he crying? T.T

TWELVE DO SOMETHING

“no I’M FUCKING SORRY”

YEAH WELL YOU SHOULD BE

a—a poof?

is ‘poof’ a bad word?

guys i don’t know anything about british slang.

bob honey relax…

ohhhhh i’m not sure if that was a smart question to ask right that second.

archie, you’re so classy and wonderful and probably wouldn’t freak out on people like that. probably.

this van gentleman is so delightful ( i am so bad at names rn )

so his nickname is van gentleman.

TANK

there we go.

i like this broship.

in which arch continues to be all. fucking. leg.

OH SHIT

i was NOT PREPARED

“like most things american they’ve eaten the natives” i mean…

i really like his comparison of the crayfish and greed, but like… i also really want bbq now… (have you HAD bbq crayfish? shit’s delicious.)

also HOLY SHIT was not expecting them to be stuck on him like leeches? that’s terrifying.

archie has like—this hidden mercy about him… like he got a weird look on his face and i couldn’t tell if it had to do with the quid dude or putting the other guy back in with the crayfish.

it’s his STEPSON?

ohhhhh an american!

oh he is handsome.

mickey. <3

what else have i seen this rocker dude in…

“ladies of the pole”

mickey’s hat ftw

oh this fedora guy is cute.

JUNE

i love that name AND her bangs!

this movie was a phenomenal soundtrack

aaannnddd definitely thought that dude was masturbating for a second

wait is that the guy from the beginning?

LENNY

... wwwooooowwww

lenny is an ASSHOLE

LENNY

johnny, johnny honey you do not deserve this

why is this movie full of people who deserve better than they got???

LENNY don’t you DARE

that is NOT OKAY

FUCK YOU

gosh, kid, bless your heart…

SHOW ME THIS FUCKING PAINTING

there are so many different accents in this movie and all it’s doing is confirming the fact that i never left my “i want a boyfriend with a nice voice” phase

“guns nuns and cowboys” idk what this bonanza thing is but i’m in

johnny you are very scary and i’m sorry that your stepdad made you like this.

dude stop touching june?

“it’s tasty and exotic—a bit like your june.” lenny you’re disgusting.

that’s an intense line of questioning, lenny.

this fucking painting.

ARCHIE

STOP FUCKING WITH THE MICROPHONE

oh my god

i literally just want him to never stop talking

omg bob.

dude twelve looks piiiiiiissed.

i think… i missed a part of the plot.

guys i want to be a part of this world but i’m only able to say that because no one’s very asked me to like… torture someone.

or sleep with someone gross.

victor you handsome bastard.

russian is such a guttural language i love it

FUCK YOU LENNY

at least you’re getting better at shooting your whiskey? fucking asshole.

like i like him less and less because he’s just GROSS you guys

jk could still outdrink him.

if you touch archie lenny i will reach through his screen and rip your face off.

i really wouldn’t be threatening someone who could snap you in half but okay

who the hell is cookie?

you look like a one-many party

omg where are your pants

cookie i love you you disaster of a man

omg i want to be invited to one of these parties

like just let me relax in a corner with an old fashioned and a cute boy

OHHH THEY FUCKED

OKAY

that explains a lot

dude bob that’s—okay but like they thought he was going to prison, that was just an accident

wait does archie know?

dude stella i want to be your friend so you can help me with my wardrobe

… twelve. twelve what are you doing.

stella looks so fucking unimpressed

YEAH BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING

dude, stella, girl, i’m sorry

at least one of you can dance

oh bertie you gay as shit

stella why did you marry this man

i like this closed captioning thing they’re doing.

who. is. the. informant.

“and remember—i *am* dangerous.” yes you are baby.

bertie you are so awkward

bob. bobby no. D:

BOB

oh bertie don’t act like you didn’t like getting bossed around i saw it in your face

y’all he is fucking ENAMORED

i’d go see this guy live.

that bouncer wasn’t fucking around. one hit knockouts.

… john. johnny. what are you doing

JOHNNY DO NOT STAB THE BOUNCER

HE IS MAKING ME SO NERVOUS

HOLY SHIT

JOHNNY

ALL RIGHT COOL LET’S JUST SHANK THE BOUNCER

johnny you are batshit crazy

“fucking mutt” wait, what does that mean?

mumbles is a handsome man.

ohhhh this is an awkward conversation.

“made a pass.” right.

ohhhh. oh he knows.

twelve, dude, i’m sorry.

he looks so uncomfortable.

but hey like this means they didn’t fuck so that’s a thing?

boooob, sweetheart. <3

they’re all such good mixes of good and evil.

except lenny. fuck lenny.

ooooo that lady has pretty hair.

oh wait THAT’S cookie?

then who was pantsless homie?

this movie has such a big cast and i can keep track of like four people.

this club lounge place looks cool though.

he helped him get off the rock? that’s pretty rad.

p.s. this movie has a great soundtrack tbh.

all the same kiddos maybe just stick to weed and the occasional hallucinogens

say no to cocaine and crack

oh, johnny. :(

buddy.

holy SHIT this guy’s scars though!

DUDE

how many scars do these russian guys HAVE

�� ADJNSJANSOAPSLKKJADSM

TRAIN

OKAY

WAIT NO TRUCK

JESUS

… more scars i guess?

… wait i wonder if archie has scars like that?

ohhhhh noooo yuri.

yuri did your friends die?

LENNY you’re racist and i do not like you.

oooohhhh why do i feel like so many bad things are gonna happen in the last part of this movie.

twelve you’re limping my baby who hurt you

… oh

THAT is who hurt you

also i ship those two russian guys

i like how stella was apparently just watching the entire thing from a distance

and then has the audacity to critique him lmfao

holly shit right into a STOREFRONT

dude NONE of y’all are having a good day

this entire scene is fucking—something else

guns

knives

golf clubs

just

anything you can pick up and use as a weapon at all

WHAT THE FUCK

ARE THESE DUDES JUST INDESTRUCTIBLE

“ABANDON SHIP RUN FOR YOUR LIVES”

YEAH BITCH AGREED

OH SHIT COPS

BOB ARE YOU JUST GONNA WAVE LIKE THEY’RE YOUR BROS

THIS IS STRESSFUL

PARKOUR

bob you look like a puppy

and twelve looks like a zombie

and then there’s mumbles who just stole the coolest bike helmet i’ve ever seen

twelve, honey, you just can’t catch a break

dude russian guy is fucking RIPPED

kudos to who did the cinematography of this because it looks fucking cool

this is the slowest high-intensity chase i’ve ever seen

ripped and covered in blood. i dig it.

twelve you faker

oh hi ruskies

archie do you own any clothing that’s not black, grey or blue…?

fuck i love that jacket, but it’s so long it just makes him look even taller

LENNY

YOU NEED TO NOT BE SO FUCKING RACIST?

and get your hands off his testicles!

gracious.

everyone in this movie needs jesus.

johnny stop calling him pedro.

can…. can i see the painting please.

please.

guys.

this poor scottish guy.

yuri got cake.

johnny… sorta reminds me of freddie mercury in some of these shots? for like a few seconds at a time.

… okay so i’m full of dread between this monologue and what’s happening on the golf course.

lenny. buddy. you really got like. not do that. stop calling everyone immigrants

OH SHIT

GET HIM

GET HIM VICTOR

YOU GO BABY

this is a weird juxtaposition in terms of scenes though?

lenny getting his legs beat

and johnny’s super sad speech about the cigs

dude i can’t bring myself to feel bad for len.

wait where’s archie?

“and that is also why i cannot give that painting back.”

this is a set up for something really really bad.

and then they have moments where they act like dudes i know and i warm up to pete and johnny.

bobby stop fucking with that poor man. you’re gonna make him fall in love with you.

“i’m going back to bed.” “can i come?”

*smack* okay, that shit was funny.

johnny you need some chicken.

oh these motherfuckers.

… guys i wanna be a rocknrolla

lmao a protest

that flat looks disgusting.

dude you need to treat your bro better

ASJANSJASN

THEY TOOK THE PAINTING

CAN I SEE IT

LET ME SEE THIS FUCKING PAINTING

OH MY GOD THIS IS GREAT

if this movie ends without me seeing this fucking painting i’m going to kill someone

good man cookie.

TANK’S WATCHING P&P

COOKIE YOU DA REAL MVP

gerard’s laugh though

… well then

like if she wasn’t so unhappy in her marriage i’d feel bad

THE INFORMANT YES TELL ME

… sydney shaw?

“where did he learn a word like pseudonym?”

awwww he likes her…

oh she likes him!

okay good because that sex didn’t look romantic at all.

“you’ve got very good taste mr. one-two.”

lenny fuck you.

you’re gonna be alive for like three more years, relax.

archie. <3 that protectiveness—even if it is for lenny.

aaannnnddd enter the russians.

what a clustfuck.

wait TWELVE

DAMNIT TWELVE

OPEN YOUR EYES

… oh you are FUCKED

ooosajdnaksdjnajsdna this is anxiety-inducing

y’all this is why drugs are bad

and then nice outside scene. birds chirping. looks like a lovely day.

oh shit ARCHIE WITH A GUN

there’s no way that twelve is still alive

what the FUCK

am i SEEING

dude archie, me too

omg ARCHIE HELP HIM

that SMILE

dude i’d laugh too

OH SHIT

welp.

okay, we all figured archie was gonna kill people

put your FUCKING TONGUE BACK IN YOUR MOUTH

wait he SHOT TWELVE?

omg everything is happening at once.

wait, stella, what’d you do?

OMG

dude she looked FREAKED OUT

yuri… dude, what are you doing…?

UHM

WHAT

WAIT

WHAT IS HAPPENING

STELLA YOU LITERALLY FUCKED TWELVE LIKE A SECOND AGO

ohhhhhhhhhh

ohhhhhhh noooooo

ohhhhh NOOOOO

oh stella, honey you in danger girl

archie looks a thousand percent done and he’s been around this kid thirty seconds

wait archie was in prison?

this sydney shaw person put arch in prison…

duuuuuude younger!archie ;-;

“uncle arch” T.T

WHAT the fuck, lmao

just whipping out his gun, nbd

archie stop that. they’re babies.

johnny man you’ve—been fucked up for a while.

dude archie you look miserable.

ohhhh nobody died.

THANK YOU ARCHIE

GET HIM

i hate this entire family.

who all is about to die in this weird basement silent hill place.

… dude. johnny’s face though.

like i’ve felt like NO sympathy for lenny this entire time but i feel bad for johnny. :/

“a hot bath and a cold razor”

… dude

“because you’re poison john.”

o u c h

but like he is CRAZY

help i don’t know who to feel for

i feel for everyone

… except lenny

OH SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

LENNY

JESUS

DUDE

HE IS GOING TO KILL HIS OWN STEPSON

what the fuck is happening.

YES THE INFORMANT

wait.

WAIT.

IT’S FUCKING LENNY????

OH MY GOD

“you are a VERY dirty bastard sydney.”

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT

THE

FUCK

STOP KILLING EVERYONE

I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO THIS ISN’T WHAT I WANTED

this is STRESSFUL

“put your hands up!”

*thud*

okay that was funny

THE BOYS!

oh, archie.

oooohhhhh… all this shit…

archie. fuck, you can hear the betrayal in his voice.

shit, this is sad.

“there is no spring without a winter. no life without death.”

… archie?

oh a time skip!

oh SHIT johnny got a GLO UP

“c’mon then give us a cuddle”

i’ll GLADLY you give you a cuddle

OH MY GOD THE PAINTING

SHOW ME

S H O W M E

… you literally put those russian guys in pieces, didn’t you archie.

you terrifying motherfucker.

GUYS I WANT TO BE IN THIS WORLD

FUCK YOU GO GET THEM JOHNNY

... wait was there supposed to be a sequel?

… WAIT

WAIT NO

YOU FUCKING SHOW ME THAT GOD DAMN PAINTING

oh my god.

fuck it.

fuck that.

nope.

like mid-credit scenes are the least y’all can do.

… wait is that tom and gerard just like fucking with each other, it might be, that’s sort of adorable.

dude that gay club looks like fun though.

i don’t dance because i’ll spill my drink but.

awwwww guys i could watch them dance forever, like, this shit is funny.

ohhhh i hope this means that archie becomes the new lenny. he’d be a much better lenny.

and now we sway to this groovy end credit music while i sit and seethe in hatred that i never saw the painting and i’m pissed about it. :))))))

… fuck.

welp, guess i’ll just have to write shit about how the fuck this dude falls in love with a cop then.

#rocknrolla #commentary #mark strong

80 notes · View notes

survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years ago

Text

Ep. 8: “The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers.” - Najwah

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/OSh0mvYBSwo

James Hayden

We just got back from tribal and Ryan was blindsided 3-1. I feel bad for the guy because he had no idea this was going to happen, but that' Survivor for you. I thought there'd be a merge at 13, but Jay's questions at tribal put some doubt in my mind. If it's not a merge, then I think I'm an ok spot if my tribe has to go back to tribal. I'm just praying to the Survivor ORG gods for a merge today or tomorrow.

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/sg4qe6MUjJU

James Hayden

https://youtu.be/oGcQdHpBzhY

Zack M

i don't know how they did it but let's take a moment to shout out james and najwah making it through tribal! no idol needed. im so proud of them. i feel like james will gladly come back to our original alliance once we merge but najwah's commentary always leaves me feeling uneasy. no offense but like do you want to play with anyone, najwah? lol. you have to somewhat trust someone at some point in this game. i would love to work with najwah for as long as possible if she is still around after the merge but unfortunately all of the comments that have been made throughout the game will keep me from promising her anything longterm out of fear that she will run around like a crazy person at merge. also, i believe that she will be the first person to mention my name from hanuha in hopes of it becoming a big move that she could put on her resume. maola doesn't know me yet. i guess they could see me as a threat because of being picked as a captain but like i don't consider maddison a threat. lol. pedro and kalle seem to want revenge. i think it would be fun to get her out first at merge. i'm just rambling now. i'm hungry. we got the new challenge. it's some mini online games or something like that. idk. i'm not a gamer so i was like i have therapy and can't do this bye. i wonder if they think i'm making up my therapy sometimes but like if you guys have ever questioned it i promise i'm not. i have it monday, wednesday, and fridays lol. anyways, cody pedro and kalle are playing. i really only trust me and ben so like fml. hopefully pedro and kalle understand that they are playing for their lives and we win again. fingers crossed. ok i'm going to get chicken tenders. bye.

James Hayden

Things post tribal did not go according to plan. I would've put money on us merging tonight, but instead we have another tribe challenge. There's a small part of me that thinks Edge of Extinction is play in this season. After this challenge, we will be down to 12 people and seasons post 30 that have a 20 person cast merge at 13. I think there's a chance we do merge at 13, but the 13th person is the Edge returnee.

As far as this challenge is concerned, video games aren't my strong point. I'm not a gamer, but these games are pretty straight forward. If we have to go back to tribal I'm voting Amy. Voting out Najwah would hurt my game because it would show the rest of Hanuha that I'm not #Hanuhastrong and it would tie us back up at 6 original Hanuha and 6 original Maola. Voting out Amy gives us a 7-5 advantage heading into a potential merge, shows I'm #Hanuhastrong, and weakens Maddison who I think was the ringleader of Maola 1.0.

Najwah

Last night's tribal was interesting and actually the hardest tribal council. Ryan started a group with James and I 7 minutes after Palena was formed which already made us weary of him. He then tried to blindside me and made me believe he's blindsiding Amy and asked me about James and his previous alliance and it was just a mess. He's an awesome person and great team player but it was just too much scrambling and we all feared he'd flip flop throughout the game, which is dangerous. I'm trying not to use this space as therapy sessions lmao so I'll keep it short. Uhm, I think i have a good thing going with Amy and James. I just really hope we win this challenge, or rather, don't come last so that I can work with them going forward. Amy let me know she has a steal a vote and I told her about my fake idol and we'd like to work together. I really like these two people. A LOT. I lied in tribal when I said I didn't want to keep things Hanúha strong going forward. I can't believe I have to lie and blindside now lmao its becoming HECTIC. I'm really hoping we did enough to at least place second in this challenge. 🤞🏽🤞🏽

Olivia A

I’m doing so bad at all of these games rn and I feel so bad bc I asked specifically to not sit out of this challenge. I play little phone games and stuff literally all the time and am really good at them and for some reason am just doing so so bad today. If we lose then it’s probably my fault but also my alliance of 3 is really solid rn so I’m not actually worried about getting voted off. I still feel so bad I hate this so much.

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/8QZTwYzVqVI

Pedro A

if tomorrow is the merge IMMM GONNA DIEEEEE...we won once again..cause we the baddest.....honestly how am i still alive?...LIKE HOW??....chilllleeee

Olivia A.

Okay woah I’m so happy about this win I was so nervous. I feel like we’re in a really good place going into the merge I’m excited :)

Pedro A

i was about to write my pled for help to the 3 hanuha original members..so they could keep me over kalle...but now who cares...i will throw anyone hunder the bus ....to get to that final

Cody A.

Coming into this game being the competitor that I am, I never imagined even entertaining the idea of throwing a challenge.... BUT when Ben came to me with the idea of making a big move on Zack, I’d be lying If I said I didn’t think about it.. That being said however, I didn’t throw it, but I also did not try as hard as I could have.... I’m very surprised we are not talking to Jay at tribal right now.. Moving forward though, we need Zack.. I need Zack.. If we are merging tonight it is strictly a numbers game from here. I am ready to get my hands dirty, make big moves, and WIN THIS DAMN GAME!!!

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXbaQPdhQw0&feature=youtu.be

Najwah

After that whole challenge experience and this entire week, I don't even know what to say. It's been a tiring experience. Being on a tribe where no one really connects is the worst. I tried telling James that the other tribes were highly competitive but for some reason he was okay with his scores? This entire week I've barely had any sleep. Even now, it's almost 5am and people are just on our tribe, OKAY with low scores? We were doomed from the beginning. The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers. Honestly, it messes with you psychologically too. I'm tired of scrambling and relying on tribemates to make an effort. I wanted to work with Amy but she's so difficult to get hold of/unresponsive even though we are on similar timezones. James is hellbent on keeping it Hanúha strong and really, hope he isn't playing me. My heart honestly cannot deal any betrayal so close to merge, I'd also like to just enjoy my Saturday. I deserve to be on the merge tribe. Will most likely be at the bottom ass of the tribe but I want to be in it, nonetheless. I worked for it. And right now, I'm exhausted. Annoyed. Frustrated. Fucking mad. This tribe swap has honestly been DRAINING. Everyone is too nice and meek and people just don't care about winning lol. I hate the anxiety and sleeplessness of these past few days. I forgot what life was like before this ORG lol what did I do? I miss Leanne, still. The best person in this game. I hate it here. I just want to get to merge and be able to breathe again.

Sarah

Ahhhhh I can’t believe our tribe, Maola, won the challenge by so much. I legit thought we were going to lose and didn’t have high enough scores. Aimee freaking killed it on her scores, wow. I have been telling Aimee how to buy the small perfume bottles that give you advantages and where to get coins to buy them. She used FIVE on that challenge yesterday (I wouldn’t have used all five butttt). Part of my strategy during this tribe swap has been buying/playing advantages so we don’t have to go to tribal because I still don’t know who is close to who, and the more I’m with this tribe the more I feel like they really just don’t talk to each other and there’s not much gameplay happening. Part of my strategy with convincing Aimee to buy and use advantages was also so I know how many coins she has because that can come in handy at Merge. I also wanted to give her information about the idol hunt (which I got from others— I’ve never actually idol hunted not knowing where or what I was getting) so she could trust me. I FREAKING hope tomorrow is the Merge! How awesome would it be for our original tribe to have the majority and for me to still have an idol. I feel like after this tribe swap, Cody and I will be in the best position in the game when it comes to all of our connections with people. We have our group with Zack and Ben, I feel close with James and now Aimee, and Cody feels close with Najwah. So we really are kind of in the middle and as long as people don’t find out about how close we are, we can just get all the information from others and share with each other. I guess I won’t stop posting a brick.... sorry.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjWjJwew7rc

Zack M

welp. i think this is it. could we finally be merging tonight after tribal? or are we swapping to two tribes of 6? that would be super lame. all i know is something is happening and i'm glad because i've been so bored in this tribe. we keep winning. there's no reason to play. i need action. the third tribe that starts with a p is going to tribal again. i don't remember the name. hopefully james and najwah stay hanuha strong so we can go into the merge 7 / 5. if najwah turns she will be my #1 target. she's too dangerous for my game to allow her to run around. other than that ... we came in second during the last competition. we were so lucky. the maola tribe killed it. i wish i would have played because our teams scores were low key pathetic. the p tribe could have beat us if all their players had participated. like is kalle even playing the game? is she here? i talked to her once. i know i should reach out in case it is the merge but it almost feels pointless. i'm sure she will run back to the 3 girls in maola. pedro seems to legit want revenge for john and is open to work together. i hope he isn't lying because i truly do want to take him as far as i can. look, i know i'm talking kind of cocky but i believe in acting in the way you want things to go. i'll be a clown if i'm blindsided. i don't mind. i like clowns. however, this is the way i see it going down in my head ... - we stay hanuha strong - we get out the 3 girls from maola - we get out kalle - we take out aimee and kalle - we take out pedro and james - we then take out sarah - then we have ben cody and i at finale 3 just how we planned it it could honestly work. we just have to figure out idols and make sure no one plays them correctly. and that's where i'm at right now. wish me luck.

Aimee

http://rebloggy.com/post/gif-pokemon-cute-anime-kawaii-charmander-s01e01/106470386286 Happy dance! I’m all for keeping this tribe together. Haha I may have gone a little over board on making sure I did my best on the flash games, but you really never know what the other tribe is going to be doing or getting on these challenges. I hope this doesn’t make me look like a challenge threat if I make it to merge. Sarah has really helped me with idol hunting and finding coins and where to find the advantages. This is great trust building! Thanks Hanuha for the free coins I yoinked from one of your bags at your camp.😏 After everything that happened in the last tribe and despite me voting for her, Sarah and I have really come a long way! I truly had the wrong read on her before. She is actually now someone I am very close with and get along well! Last night after we won immunity she told me she really wants to work with me moving forward in the game! Let’s do it girl! I really enjoy talking to Grae. They seem really genuine and such a kind-hearted person. They keep giving me little messages that seem to hint at wanting to work together. I think at this point it’s unspoken but we both know we would love to. We just get along so well. I also vibe really well with Maddison and I know she could be a very good ally in the future in this game. Olivia proved she is a total team player on this tribe and listened to our advice during the immunity challenge and really stepped up her scores! I am having such a much better time on this tribe and am really enjoying myself. These relationships feel WAY more organic. I will do what I can to help keep this going! I would love to see all of us make it to merge. I’m also so so happy Najwah is still in the game after her last tribal and hopes she makes it through the next tribal!

James Hayden

We are 45 minutes away from tribal and Najwah messaged me saying Amy is ok. We were worried about her because she's been MIA over the past couple days. Per Najwah, Amy will not play her vote steal. It sounds like Amy wants out of the game and if this is what she wants, I will oblige. There's a small part of me that thinks Amy is playing us, but I don't think that's the case.

Maddison

Everyone is expecting a merge tonight, and original Maola is down in numbers. Hoping I can find cracks and worm my way in.

Pedro A

SO i told everything to zack......he seems to rule that allience....so he will 100% tell the others....and will try to take grae and maddison out...

Pedro A

Grae and Maddison just create fake alliences.so people dont write their name down....and make people feel safe... AND im here to make justice for john PERIODTTTT.... #justiceforjohn

Ben Kessler

I hope we are merging. Pedro is out for revenge against his former alliance. Zack is a threat and I need it to be known. Cody and I are hopefully solidified. If we merge, grae and maddison are apparently big threats according to Pedro. So that is fine with me. Just gotta keep making sure the people I'm closest with stay in.

Kalle N

hey I'm super high rn and I don't remember if I did this already or not so her I go. I hope we merge soon so I can vote people out that have wronged me. can't believe we won the last challenge even after I did basically nothing. ok gtg ily bye

Amy A

So this round has been tough. My Internet issues were definitely the reason my tribe lost and I wanted to quit cos I felt so terrible but I think Najwah and I can do something with my steal a vote. I’ll steal hers and vote James so no one will suspect we’re working together and then go into the merge with our little secret alliance. Bliss

Olivia A

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Najwah

All I know is that shit is going to hit the fan at this tribal and I'm scared as hell. Only three of us. You'd think it would be easier but it's terrifying.

Cody A

https://youtu.be/QM4CiTbrjgw

Pedro A

im scared of the merge...scared of the girls allience...scared of me being a target...for being a wild card ...and scared of maddison and graeee.....kill me at this point

#episodes

0 notes

a-pretty-nerd · 7 years ago

Text

It Feels so wrong, but SO RIGHT: Part 5

Rodrick Heffley x reader story

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long. I have been lazy with my entries latley, and its only because of person events going on in my life. I apologize. I have been getting so many requests for more Rodrick, specifically more of this story, and I am happy to! As always, enjoy, and don’t be afraid to make requests! ❤

Warning: Angst, jealousy, makeup sex, etc.

P.S. This posted early, and then when I tried to finish it, it deleted. Fml.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was an average day for you at this point, sitting with Rodrick ar lunch. Enjoying your homemade meal you made for yourself eariler that day. Often times sharing a few things with Rodrick, who adored your cooking by the way. You were no kitchen wizard, but then again, Rodrick was easy to please. Not only that, but Rodrick adored you to death. Sometimes you would catch him staring at you from across the classroom, or even while he was sitting right next to you. You couldn’t help but blush, and smile.

On this day in particular, a friday, you were seated, with Rodrick’s head laying in your lap. He was chatting with his friends, now your friends, the other band members. You exited the conversation for a moment, only to look up for a moment. Walking across the cafeteria, a familiar silhouette clicked across the tile. Those heels, deafening, that walk, nauseating, that body, threatening. You tensed up, you watched her as she walked by. For a brief moment those piercing blue eyes stared into yours. Blue like the ocean, or perhaps a large lake. Either way, they could drown you. She glared at you for a moment before flicking her golden hair and walking off. Heather Hills was the most retched being you had ever laid eyes on. From the beginning, she hated your guts, and you hated hers in return. Memories of a little Y/N crying in the playground, alone, and scared, were all because of her. She was a down right bitch, and yet the world seemed to adore her. Even Rodrick, had once had a crush on her. The thought of Heather and your Rodrick made you ill. Perhaps you could live without him, but the idea that he would ever choose her over you, was soul crushing.

“What do you think babe?” Rodrick’s voice pierced your train of thought.

“What?” You looked down at him, while he gazed up at you.

“Party tonight, at David’s. You up for it?” He gave a smile, and raised his brow.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Sounds fun.”

“Its gonna be bangin’ his parents are out for the whole week, and we are gonna raaaaage!” On of the band members shouted with glee. You laughed, and tried to kick your previous thoughts to the back of your brain. The rest of the day went on as usual, and sure enough the final bell rung and you left the school with Rodrick. You walked hand in hand into the parking lot, he looked over and watched you. You were quieter than usual, you were deep in thought.

“You okay?” He asked, giving your hand a small squeeze.

“Oh, yeah Im fine. What time is that party again?

“Around 6, I think. Ill pick you up around then, is thag cool?”

“Yeah, yeah that works fine.” You were still having a hard time shaking these thoughts from your head, you were off today. Rodrick looked around for a moment, and then back to you, concerned.

“You sure you’re okay”

“Yes, Rodrick, I’m okay. I promise.”

“Okay, just checking.” He kissed you on the cheek and let of your hand as he walked away. “I’ll see you later hot stuff!”

“See ya!”

You got home, you did your homework, the usual. All while still in a thought provoked haze. You looked up at the clock, 5:30. Shit. You only had half an hour to get ready. You couldn’t exactly go in your usual get up, which was mostly wore purley to please your parents. You had to be trim and relativley proper. You had to be the smart girl, the girl with good grades. Rodrick, however, brought out this other side of you. You squirmed for a moment, just thinking about your first time with Rodrick, the first of many. You stood, and went to get ready when a loud knock on your bedroom door shook you from your state of mind.

“C-Come in!” You stuttered. Your mother stepped in.

“Dinners ready.”

“Oh um, I’m not feeling very well. I know it’s early, but I don’t want to risk it.” Your mother nodded, appearing to be fooled by your lie.

“Gonna see the boy again?” She gave a smile. You tried to lie again but she was too quick. “Alright, just be safe. I’ll tell your father you’re, ‘sick’. Have fun. Use protection!”

“Mom!” And with that she left you to your own devises. Half an hour went by fast, and before you knew it, you got the text from Rodrick that he was out front. You had to rush out of your window, and sneak across your lawn to his van.

“Hey cutie!” He leaned over and gave you a kiss before starting the car, and driving away. “You feeling better?”

“What?”

“Earlier, you seemed off.”

“I told you, I was fine then, Im fine now.”

“Okay, okay! I was just asking.” The rest of the car ride was filled with music, and a joke here and there. Something about it helped settle everything going on in your mind. It put all your worries aside. When you arrived at the party, hand in hand, Rodrick was loudly greeted by some friends. You chatted along side your extrovert boyfriend, all while holding his hand as if he were a security blanket. Some time passed, things were going great. Even better when Rodrick pulled you onto the dance floor, and started goofing around. He had this incredibly way of making you laugh. You regreted never giving him a chance before the whole tutoring thing.

“I’m gonna grab a drink, do you want anything!?” You had to yell over the music.

“Sure!” So you turned towards the kitchen to fill a red cup. You had just taken one in hand when you heard it. That sound. The familiar click clack of those retched heels. You snapped to attention, her figure stood, leaning against a wall with her friend. Acting too cool, and utterly bored with the whole situation. You tried to ignore her, filling your cups with drinks. You turned to go back to Rodrick, but when you looked up, as if by some evil sorcery she was there. Talking to Rodrick. She didn’t even like Rodrick, you knew that much, what the hell was she doing…flirting with him?

“Hey! Aren’t you that guys from that band?” Her voice was like nails against chalk board.

“Uh, Löded Diaper. Yeah, we played at your birthday party last year. Don’t you, remember?” He was clearly nervously, and visibly blushing. He had even stuck a hand behind his head and was leaning against a wall.

“Oh my god! Thats right! You played my favorite song!” She leaned in closer, reached out with her bright pink claws and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Yknow, I never got to repay you for that.” She purred. Rodrick nodded, nervous, and shifted away. He arm sliding off of him.

“I mean-” Rodrick stopped mid sentence, the loud crashing sound shook him from his train of thought. He watched you storm off up the stairs of the house having dropped your drinks. His heart sunk, he had been in a similar situation with you before. He cursed Heather for this again. “Y/N, wait!” He yelled after you. He searched for you, but you were too fast. You had hidden in what you could assume was a family room. There were others there, but it was empty enough to sulk. You sat down on the empty couch, and hid your face in your hands. That bitch, how could you be so stupid? Rodrick has had a crush on her since god knows when, and you actually thought you had a chance of-

“Hey, Y/N. You okay?” You heard a boy’s voice ask. You looked up to see a familiar face sit down next to you. A fellow classmate. Someone you were acquaintances with at most.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You lied, again.

“Is it that Rodrick guy?”

“What?”

“Look Y/N. If that guy isn’t treating you right, it wouldn’t surprise me.” You were just so confused. “You deserve better, you can do better.” He placed a hand on your knee. You stared at him wide eyed, hoping he would get the hint and leave. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Rodrick’s voice rang in your ears. He stood above the two of you, and swatted the boy’s hand away from your knee. “Get out of here, creep.” He pulled the guy up, and shoved him gently to the side. The boy gave this begrudgingly fustrated look, and leaned in.

“If you need anything-”

“Fuck off!” You shouted at him, and he scattered like a roach. Rodrick sat.

“Are you okay? Is this about Heather, because!”

“Of course it’s about Heather! Why wouldn’t it be? She was all over you!”

“Im sorry Y/N, she came on to me.”

“I know she did! That’s why Im pissed, you know how I feel about her. And you, you’ve had a crush on her for forever! I mean, what chance do I have if that bimbo is throwing herself at you?”

“Okay, yeah. I used to have a crush on her, but that before you. Look, I may not be the smartest guy, but I’ve made up my mind. You are my girlfriend, and I love you. I don’t want anybody else.” You watched his face, he was dead serious.“

"I love you Rodrick.” You smiled, and he kissed you. A tender kiss while he held you close. A kiss that was deepened by Rodrick pulling you closer, and closer until you were practically in his lap. Your hands ran through his hair as his hands ran up and down your sides. A full on, make out session broke out. Pretty soon Rodrick’s tounge was wondering your mouth, and his hands were proudly placed on your ass. They squeezed and needed affectionately as he leaned forward to continue the kiss. Before you knew it, Rodrick’s erection was bulging through his jeans, needy, he rubbed you against it. Swaying your hips back and forth. If it wasn’t for you, he would have probably fucked you right then and there. You got off his lap, and with a small whimper he looked at you with that lust filled gaze. He stood, and pulled you out of the room, and down the hall to some random room he found. Luckily, there was no other couple. Rodrick quickly shut the door behind him, and shed his shirt and other clothes before taking off yours. The rest was a blur as you layed down on the bed, and spread your legs for him.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He whispered between heated kisses. He lined himseld up, and pushed into you. You gasped as his cock started to thrust in and out, in and out. Slowly, until Rodrick became more and more needy, and started slamming his cock in you. He held your hips, and when you arched you back in pleasure, he went wild. He left hickeys and kisses all over your body. As if marking you as his own. He grunted, and huffed as you moaned loudly with pleasure corsing through you. You came with ease, as you normally did with Rodrick, who moaned loudly when he felt you convulse around him. He drove in as deep as he could, hitting against your cervix. His thrusts quickly becoming erratic, and unstable. He was losing his mind with you, and he hunched over your body, kissing your deeply as the two of you came. You felt his cum flood you, and you moaned. The two of you had to take a moment, panting. He kissed your neck and affectionately and moaned your named. You quickly realized exactly where you were, and you bounced into action. Throwing your clothes on before the two of you were caught. Rodrick did as he was ordered.

“Hurry up! I don’t wanna get caught.” You said in a hushed tone. He gave you this content little smile, and once completely clothed, kissed your cheek as you left the room to continue the party.

“Hey! Where were you two?” A friend cried in excitement.

“We got lost.” Rodrick lied, and the rest of the night went off without a hitch. All the while, you had to walk, and talk while you felt Rodrick’s pervious load slowly fall out of you and into your panties. The feeling of it, sent a shiver down your spine, and if you were honest, turned you on a little more than it should have.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ahhh! It feels good to be back! Sorry I’ve been away for so long! As always, I am now accepting for requests, as backed up as they may be! ❤

#rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley x reader smut #doawk smut

266 notes · View notes

uswe · 7 years ago

Text

Fic: Superman

Apparently I go here again. FML.

3k of outsider POV roommate shenanigans, now on AO3.

Josh has been emailing his roommate off and on over the summer, since they got their assignments, and he’s got a good feeling about this. Stiles seems like a good dude, and they’ve already got a pact to be running buddies so they don’t put on the Freshman 15. Even better, Stiles is bringing both the microwave and the mini fridge, so Josh doesn’t have to ship that stuff all the way from Wisconsin.

Josh arrives at the dorm first, probably because his flight had left Chicago at a truly grotesque hour of the morning. It was a good thing, though, because all of them had been too tired and cranky to cry at him leaving. He’s not sure how they’re gonna set up the beds - loft one? loft both? bunks? - so he just puts down his duffle bags and starts unpacking his clothes to put in one of the closets. He’s not normally super neat, but this is a brand new start and stuff, so here he can, like, not have a floor covered in dirty sweats.

By the time his roommate shows up, Josh has his laptop set up to automatically connect to campus wifi and he’s found the closest spot for lunch.

Stiles bursts in with a duffle bag strapped across his chest and a microwave in his arms. “Dude!”

“Hey, man,” Josh says, rising to offer to help. But in behind Stiles comes a Latino dude with a tattoo on his arm and two boxes of stuff, and behind him are two girls carrying a mini fridge in a box. Stiles obviously has everything well in hand.

“Oh, hey, you haven’t done anything with your bed yet. Are you planning to loft it? Because I’m totally lofting mine for the futon to go under it, but if we did yours too we could put the bean bag chair and the fridge under that and have, like, an actual living room for when people come over.”

“I wanted to see what you wanted to do,” Josh says, and sort of waves awkwardly to the other people crowding into their room. “Uh, hi.”

“Hey,” says the other guy, balancing the boxes against his chest so he has a free hand to extend to shake. “I’m Scott, and these are Malia and Kira.”

Stiles takes the boxes and sticks them on his desk. “Right, I’ll grab the lofting stuff, if you wanna grab the futon from Malia’s truck, Scott. I’ll help with getting the frame when I get back.” Stiles emphasizes ‘help’ like he thinks Kira and Malia will try to bring it in and hurt themselves.

Malia rolls her eyes.

Josh takes the opportunity to volunteer, “I can go get the stuff, since you’re providing, like, everything else, dude.”

“Awesome,” Stiles says. “We’re gonna have everything kickass before anyone else has even unpacked.”

“Think you’re behind the curve - Jae-yoon and Julio at the end of the hall both had their moms here most of the morning getting their room set up. I think they have Glade plugins in every outlet.”

Stiles makes an impressed face. “Fair enough. Guess I know where I’m gonna go when our room smells like dirty socks and Cheetos.”

They get everything in their room in a few huge chaotic piles, but once Malia’s truck is empty, Stiles’ friends look around and seem to wipe their hands of it. “I don’t want to help with any of this,” Malia says, and Josh kind of admires her bluntness.

“Yeah, yeah,” says Stiles, and opens his arms for a hug. He gets a hug and a kiss on the cheek from both girls and a really tight hug from Scott while Josh stands around awkwardly.

They finish their goodbyes and troop out, leaving the room feeling even emptier than it had been before Stiles arrived with all of his stuff. Stiles rubs his hands together and says, “Okay, let’s get started.”

Setting up the room doesn’t take that long, but by the end of it Josh is feeling kind of inadequate. He ran cross country, okay? He’s pretty in shape. But his roommate has to be way more into upper body stuff or something, because he pretty much effortlessly holds the beds in place while Josh gets the lofting bits in place, and they’re really not that light.

Their RA taps on the door while Josh is finishing up putting together the futon frame and Stiles is stocking the fridge with Red Bull. “Hey, guys, floor meeting at 7, okay?”

“Yeah.” Stiles looks at his watch. “We should grab dinner first, then. You said you knew the dudes down the hall?”

They pick up Jae-Yoon and Julio, and Julio stares at Stiles in what Josh can’t tell is lust or envy. Josh doesn’t have very good gaydar, and Stiles is built enough that it could be either. The group of them hits up the dining hall, and they end up swapping high school stories as they eat. Jae-Yoon had done Forensics and a whole bunch of theatre and music stuff, and Julio was apparently his class president as well as a member of the Debate club and on the baseball team. Josh would feel kind of inadequate with just his cross country and working at the florist, but he’s mostly impressed by having scored cool friends, and Stiles is in the same boat, since he’d done lacrosse and cross country and that was it. He reaffirms that Stiles will be his running buddy, but then it’s way more interesting to talk to Jae-Yoon. Stiles is funny and all, but his life is kind of boring.

Running with Stiles makes Josh feel ruffled and out of shape, because the dude’s fast, and he doesn’t get tired, and he doesn’t seem to care if he’s working so hard he’s sweating buckets by the end. He makes Josh feel inadequate, which is ridiculous. Josh has medals for 5k runs.

“Dude,” he says the first Friday, “can we go slower? I am not nearly awake enough for this.”

Stiles immediately slows to a more manageable pace. “Sorry.”

Josh just nods, still getting his breath back. “‘s all good.”

When they get back to the dorms, Stiles hits the shower immediately. Josh drinks water and lets himself cool down, though, which is why he’s the only one there when Julio pops in. “Hey! I got invited to a house party tonight, she said I could bring people. Wanna come?”

“Sure! What time? Should I bring Stiles?”

“Like ten? And sure!” Julio pops back out.

Josh grabs his stuff and heads to the shower, takes extra time so that he’s sure to smell nice. It’s gonna be his first college party, which is really cool.

Stiles may actually be the most awkward person in the room, which is kind of embarrassing. He’s got a drink in his hand and his back to a corner wall and just keeps staring twitchily at everyone. Josh turns with the girl he’s talking to so he doesn’t have to watch his roommate. He feels kind of bad, because you’re supposed to look out for your roommate or something, but it’s Josh’s first college party as much as it’s Stiles’, and he doesn’t want to get a reputation for being weird. He drinks, maybe too much, but Stiles makes sure he gets home okay, and then makes him drink two bottles of water, which is mean. Josh tells him that. “You’re mean.”

“Shut up,” Stiles says, but he doesn’t sound mad. He’s on his laptop, talking to people. People back home, probably. Josh talks to people back home, but not as much as Stiles. “I have to go out again. You gonna be okay on your own?”

Josh flops his head back to stare at the bottom of his bed. “Lofts are hard.”

Stiles sighs. “C’mon, buddy, let’s get you into bed.”

Josh kicks his shoes off, which is really hard, and manages to stand on the first try, which is because he is coordinated and not at all because he can grab the bedframe. Stiles shoves him into his bed with way less difficulty or help than Josh would expect, and Josh wants to make some kind of comment on how strong Stiles is, but his pillow is comfy.

In the morning, a red-headed goddess of wrath is scraping a nail file directly across his brain. Josh peels his eyes open and determines that only a small portion of that is metaphor. He whimpers a little. The goddess doesn’t look up from where she’s sitting cross-legged in Stiles’ bed, wrapped in his comforter like a tent even though it’s plenty warm. “There’s a water bottle propped on the step.”

Josh fumbles for it and drinks two thirds of it before he comes up for air. “I’m Josh.”

“I know.”

That’s not how things are supposed to go. Why does Stiles have to have people who are as weird as he is? “What’s your name?”

Stiles comes back in, obviously fresh from the shower and with an almost equally fresh bruise on his face. Josh blinks at him, because he hadn’t had that last night. The goddess sticks her nail file back in her purse and stretches her arms demandingly towards Stiles. “I’m not climbing down from here.”

“Yeah, sorry, Lydia,” he says, and how is he this much less twitchy than usual in front of a girl like this? If Josh had the option to trade in being okay with the population at large and super flustered with really hot people for the opposite like Stiles apparently has, he’d totally do it. Stiles takes Lydia’s arms and swings her out of his bed in some kind of smooth move that doesn’t even end up with his comforter on the floor, and Lydia’s just wearing what looks like one of Stiles’ T-shirts and an Ace bandage on her ankle. Josh sticks his face back in his pillow. Everything is too much. She’s so pretty.

“Good to see your roommate adventures are going better than mine,” she says dryly, and he thinks it’s some sort of dig, maybe, but can’t bring himself to be offended. If he’s offended it’s just more stuff in him that he’ll probably puke up soon. “Josh, if you can be showered and dressed in half an hour, you can come to breakfast with us.”

The idea of a shower involves way too many steps, and he turns his face away from the light. “Is breakfast aspirin and a swift death?” he asks his pillow.

Stiles pats his arm. “I’ll bring you back a Gatorade.”

Stiles is as good as his word, and even better, brings the redhead back with him. They sit on the futon under Stiles’ bed, and she’s basically in his lap. They look at something on his laptop together, and Josh is deeply envious: he’s only had a girl draped over him like that when both of them were already super drunk.

The redhead leaves later in the day, Stiles driving her back to wherever she came from. Josh guesses Stiles’ hometown: it’s only a couple hours away, and Stiles is way squirellier around all the people he’s met here. Josh is pretty sure he’s Stiles’ favorite, and Stiles still gets weird a lot of the time.

The autumn starts to wax red, though it does so slowly, and the temperature doesn’t change much. Josh is a little disconcerted. He’s still used to having real seasons, all four of Winter, Spring, Road Work and Oktoberfest. But he’s got classes, and then another couple parties the next weekend, which is an even better way to mark time than seasons. He and Stiles go out looking for a party on Thursday night, but then Julio lets them know about a cool one on Friday. Josh actually gets to touch a girl’s boob on Friday, which totally makes up for the fact that his roommate lurks in a corner at both parties like the most socially awkward DD. It’s not even like anyone drove.

It’s actually kind of a relief when Stiles disappears and Josh can pay attention to the stuff that’s actually fun.

When Josh wakes up, Stiles isn’t back, but he shows up later to join Josh on his sad, hungover run. At least he doesn’t give Josh any flak for being slow. He does drop him off back at the start of their loop with a pat on Josh’s sweaty shoulder. “I’m gonna do another loop, yeah?”

Josh groans. “Are you even human?”

Stiles’ mouth twists, then he smirks. “More than you, today. Little bit too much Jaeger?”

“Little bit, then a lot.” Josh shrugs, comfortable with his bad decisions, then goes in to shower.

Stiles continues to disappear at weird times, and Josh wouldn’t even notice, except, well: weird. It’s not like Josh is at home all the time. He’s got class, and a study group, and he’s joined the bowling club. But all his shit is, like, scheduled, and he never gets texts at 8am or 11pm that make him run out the door.

Josh doesn’t ask, but he does look up one time, and his face must be kind of interrogatory, because Stiles shrugs and says, “Some of the people from home are having separation anxiety.”

Josh nods. “I mean, like, feel free to bring the hot ones back here.”

Stiles laughs. “Sure thing, dude.”

Stiles only brings someone home once, and it’s the girl who helped him move in, the one with the truck: Malia. Stiles ends up sitting with his head in her lap as all three of them watch Brooklynn 99 on Josh’s laptop. She looks at him with such obvious affection that Josh kind of wonders whether Stiles is dating Malia or Lydia or both of them, or was. But Stiles says he’s single, so Josh can’t, like, ask if that’s single-as-in-single or single-as-in-sleeping-with-everyone-but-casually. It seems super rude to ask.

Midterms are basically hell - way tougher than high school. Josh feels kind of like shit, but Stiles looks it, too, and Josh is strangely cheered by that. Plus in the one class he shares with Stiles, the intro art history they’re both taking for GenEd credits, Josh hasn’t been reduced to cornering their TA. Like, their TA is strange and pale and doesn’t look like he’s seen sunlight in approximately fifty years, but he also doesn’t seem like enough of a pushover to let Stiles out of the paper they have to turn in.

Josh teases him about it, but Stiles looks at him blankly. “Oh! No, uh, I actually handed that in already. It’s other stuff that’s kicking my ass. No, Mark and I just, uh, know some people in common, and I wanted to talk to him about it today after class.”

“More stuff from home?” Josh is pretty used to that by now, and is kind of torn. On the one hand, he kind of wishes he was closer to, like, anyone, and not reduced to facetime like once a week. On the other hand, it makes him feel kind of adult that he’s moving on and making new friends. Not supernaturally hot friends, but new ones. Which is what college is for, right? Plus Josh has gotten even more in shape, running with Stiles, so he’s adulting successfully or something.

Stiles shrugs. “Yeah. ‘S chill, though. It’s not gonna be a thing. Anyway, see you later.”

“Later,” Josh says, and turns his attention back to his own paper.

It’s almost Halloween by the time midterms are well and truly over, which means even more parties. Josh feels kind of bad ditching Stiles for some of them, but, like, Jae-Yoon basically told him not to invite Stiles, and then it was easier to just, like, go with Jae-Yoon sometimes. It wasn’t like Stiles ever had fun at parties anyway. And Stiles seemed all strung out even after midterms, so, like, he probably needed to focus on whatever.

Halloween itself is a Wednesday, but Stiles was gone all the night before. Josh doesn’t blame him, because he skips class to start the day at a costume party and then just kind of goes from party to party with a big and ever-more-trashed group. He’d gone to Madison for Freakfest his senior year, but actually being in college is way cooler. He went to his Thursday morning class still kind of drunk, then stumbled back to the dorm to sleep it off. Stiles was there when he got there, passed out shirtless on the futon. He’s got a giant bruise on his ribs, but Josh doesn’t have the - the brain? brain to think about it. He chugs a bottle of water and leaves his jeans on the floor and crawls into bed.

Later that night, Stiles actually shows up at a party without Josh even hinting about anything. Josh is kind of, like, proud of him, especially since the first time he sees Stiles is when Stiles is doing a keg stand, not lurking in a corner making everyone uncomfortable.

Later, Stiles even comes up and throws an arm over his shoulder. “Josh! My man! We survived another Halloween. Isn’t it great?”

Josh claps Stiles on the back. “Yeah, totally. My hangover was pretty epic, but hair of the dog is, like, one hundred percent the thing.”

Stiles basically cackles at that, which - Josh isn’t that funny, but whatever makes Stiles happy is a good thing probably. Stiles wanders off, but finds Josh at the end of the night, and they stumble back to the dorm together. Stiles, Josh thinks, can be a pretty cool roommate.

#teen wolf #my writing #my fic #stiles #this is the same au as In Good Company #chiomi writes sometimes

6 notes · View notes

eversall · 8 years ago

Note

Hi! Are you still taking Saphael prompts?? If you are, here's mine: "your friend wrote your phone number in a public restroom as a prank and my drunk bff has called you with my phone, i'm so sorry, also your friend is a dick" Ft Simon as the poor guy whose phone number Jace has written in the public restroom and Magnus as Raphael's drunk bff, whose phone he used to call Simon. Hope you like it, but it's ok if you don't ^^ Love your fanfics!

fml this is a really cute prompt and it started out all light and funny and then devolved into serious stuff at the end I AM SORRY I HOPE YOU LIKE IT (also if you were to come off anon and be my friend i would love you forever and also be able to link you on ao3 as the prompter for this fic

if i ever had your number i think i would use it // read on ao3

“Er.” Simon says, but that seems to be enough. “Simon?” Raphael asks. “The one and only.” He says weakly, making jazz hands even though he knows Raphael can’t see them. “Heyyy, Raphael.”“You – why is your number in the Pandemonium bathroom?”.It starts because Jace and Simon get drunk together one night without Clary, and since Clary serves as about eighty-five percent of their impulse control they’re hammered within two hours and ready to implement all of their Very Bad Ideas, the ones that are horrifying enough to make Alec grind his teeth and potentially slap them upside the head.

It starts because Jace is a dick.

Well. To be fair, it starts because Jace and Simon get drunk togetherone night without Clary, and since Clary serves as about eighty-five percent oftheir impulse control they’re hammered within two hours and ready to implementall of their Very Bad Ideas, the ones that are horrifying enough to make Alecgrind his teeth and potentially slap them upside the head.

“Which is rude.” Jace informshim as he gets a tattoo across the side of his stomach. Simon makes anagreeable noise, too engrossed in the delicate line of triangles he’s justgotten tattooed across his shoulders. “How are your triangles doing?”

“I think they’re ready to experience the world!” Simon shouts, gettingto his feet. The tattoo artist doesn’t even look at him as she puts a hand onhis shoulder and shoves him back into his seat. He goes willingly, trying tofigure out what he should name the triangles. Luke, Leia, and Anakin? Frodo,Bilbo, and Sam? So many options!

Anyway, Simon figures that if anyone’s to blame, it’s Clary, because ifClary had been there Jace wouldn’t have gotten the fantastic idea to carve Simon’s number into the tiny piece of wallnext to the mirror in a bathroom at a gay club. Actually, his idea is just tocarve something, and when he asksSimon for any number between one and one hundred, Simon rattles off the digitsto his cell because that’s the only thing he can remember. Jace doesn’t seem toquestion the fact that the number is definitely not between one and onehundred, but instead dutifully transcribes it into the wall. And that’s thestory of how Simon’s phone number ends up in a hidden corner of a clubrestroom.

Well. That’s not the entirestory.

Simon’s working late when he gets the call. He’s hunched over a list ofpotential mergers, chewing on the end of his pen as he types in risk analysisand bemoans the fact that his boss is a hardass, and also Simon is hard for his boss’ ass, and isn’t that embarrassing? But he wouldn’t be here if itweren’t for the fact that Raphael asked him to finish these, and Simon sort ofhates the guy but sort of loves him too. It’s – complicated.

Lily, who’s the other data analyst and who he shares an office with,likes to gleefully tell him that it’s not thatcomplicated, and they’ve all got bets going on when Raphael and Simon ‘crackfrom the tension and start banging’, and that she thinks he’s good for Raphael.That’s the hardest part to hear. Simon can take all the innuendoes and thegood-natured teasing, but when people genuinely tell him to go for it he sortof shuts down. Because – nope, there’s no way that Raphael Santiago, a powerhouse of a business mogul, would ever beinterested in Simon Lewis.

He’s lost in his self-deprecating thoughts when he gets a call, and hefrowns as he checks the screen. Speak of the devil – why is Raphael calling himthis late at night? He cautiously takes the call and brings it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“HELLOOOO, I’M LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME!” A voice shouts down the line-a voice that is definitely not hisboss’. Simon yelps, pulling the phone away from his ear and staring down at it,bewildered, before he brings it back up.

“I’m…sorry?” he hedges. There’s sounds of a scuffle on the other end, amuffled thump, and then –

“A good time!” the voice continues, the words slurred. “That’s why yournumber’s here, right? For a good time?Well, have I got a deal – no, a steal– no, stop it Ra – let go of me, I’mgonna get you laid – anyway my friend Raphael is sorely in need of a good time because he has a stick up his ass so – “

Simon’s having conniptions atthis point. His mouth is hanging open and he’s staring blankly at the screen,trying to figure out how this is his life. The other man’s voice cuts off, andthen starts up again, sounding out of breath like he’s running.

“So listen carefully I need you to do whatever it is you do becauseRaphael keeps mooning over this new employee he has and wow he needs to ask that dude out already so if you could blow himor something and restore his confidence- “

“BANE!” a clearer voice shouts, and oh, that voice Simon recognizes. He winces as the phone makes a staticnoise, more alarming sounds coming from it, before Raphael speaks.

“Hi,” he says, his voice low and raspy and oh God, Simon wants to die rather than have this conversation. “I’m sosorry about my friend, he’s very, very drunk. He found your number in thebathroom at Pandemonium, I don’t know if – “

“My number?” Simon splutters,dropping his pen. “What?”

“Yes. I presume you didn’t know anything about this.” Raphaelcontinues. “I’m so sorry to disturb you – “

“Fucking Jace.” Simon mutters, half to himself, as memories of theirnight out rushes to the forefront of his mind. “Of course he’d do somethingidiotic like that.”

“Jace – Jace Wayland?” Raphael asks, and Simon freezes. Shit, how dumbis he that he forgot his boss doesn’t know he’s talking to Simon? “Do I…knowyou?” There’s a pause on the other end of the line, and Simon closes his eyesand prays dear God please open up a holein the ground straight to the nearest volcano and dump me in there.

“Er.” Simon says, but that seems to be enough.

“Simon?” Raphael asks.

“The one and only.” He says weakly, making jazz hands even though heknows Raphael can’t see them. “Heyyy, Raphael.”

“You – why is your number in the Pandemonium bathroom?”

“So, funny story,” Simon runs a hand through his hair, “You know Jace,one of the legal reps for the Clave – well, he and I went out one night and…hemight have put my number there? We were pretty…out of it, to be fair.”

“Right.” Raphael says, and there’s a strange note in his voice. “Youknow that’s a gay club.”

“Yeah?” Simon frowns. “I know. Who was your friend on the line?”

“Oh, Magnus.” There’s the unmistakable sound of a whoop in thebackground, presumably the Magnus Raphael is talking about. “He ownsPandemonium. He just, ah, is going through something.”

“Poor guy.” Simon commiserates, before something occurs to him withgrowing dread. “Wait, Raphael, Magnus said something about – you having a thing for someone at work.”

“That’s none of your concern.” Raphael says, his voice firm andno-nonsense. Fortunately, Simon’s pretty immune to that voice, because it’salways coupled with that hint of a smile tugging at Raphael’s lips as he looksat Simon, so.

“Oh but it is.” Simonwheedles, his heart caught somewhere between elation and dread. If he finds outtonight that Raphael actually has the hots for someone else, it’s going tosuck. There’s no way around it. But still – isn’t it better to know then to be left in limbo? “Come on,Raphael, I’m bored and I need something entertaining – “

“You’re bored? Go watch one of your ridiculous shows.” Raphaelresponds. “Also, I don’t think my…feelings…are entertaining.”

“There’s no TV in the office, I can’t watch anything. And I didn’t meanto imply anything less about your feelings.” Simon hastens to say. “But, youknow. It’s you! Who has the mighty Raphael Santiago fallen for?”

“The office?” Raphael asks, ignoring the rest of Simon’s sentence.“You’re still at work?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Simon says, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Justfinishing up the risk analysis.”

“It’s almost eleven. Go home, Simon.” Raphael says, his voice tired.“I’m sure someone is waiting up for you.”

“Nope.” Simon huffs out a laugh, idly tracing the keys on his keyboard.“I, uh – no one’s waiting up for me.”

“No?” Raphael asks. His voice is quiet now, and Simon almost misses thenext words. “That’s a shame.”

“Right.” Simons says, his voice thick. There’s a sudden lump in histhroat that he can’t swallow around, something nameless and infinitelyterrifying, full of possibilities, settling around him at Raphael’s words. “Um.You?”

“What?”

“Is anyone waiting up for you?”

“No.” Raphael laughs bitterly. “No, I – don’t have what it takes to bein a relationship.”

“Don’t have what it – are you drunk?”

“No.” Raphael is silent for a while before he speaks again. “Just verytired.”

“Then go home and sleep.” Simon rubs a hand over his face, theadrenaline draining out of him as he considers that it really was ridiculous tohope, just a little, that Raphael thought of Simon the same way Simon thoughtof him. “I’ll finish up here and leave soon too.”

“Alright.” Raphael says on the other end, and then he hangs up. Simonstares at his phone for a few minutes before he fires off a text to Jacetelling him exactly where he can shove himself and his drunk ideas. The tattooswere nice, but the late-night phone call from his boss breaking his heart was decidedly not nice.

He shuffles together his reports and stacks them up, regarding themwarily. It’s time for him to go home and sleep off his melancholy mood. Heshuts down his computer and is just grabbing his keys when he hears footsteps.

“Hello?” He calls, cautiously peering out of his office. In the dimlight, he sees someone familiar walking down the hallway. “Raphael? What thehell are you doing here?”

Raphael comes to a stop in front of him, his eyes intense as he looksat Simon. He’s wearing jeans and a leather jacket, and to be honest Simon didnot know Raphael owned anything other than suits. He looks really fucking good, as always, and his usuallyperfectly styled hair is mussed lightly, making him look like he just had sex.Simon swallows.

“You should know what happened tonight.” Raphael says seriously, andSimon frowns.

“I know what happened.” Hereasons. “It’s fine, honestly, Raphael, you couldn’t have known it was mynumber that your friend was calling.”

“He called the number because he was drunk, yeah, but also because hegenuinely wanted me to get my mind off of my feelings.”

“Right.” Simon attempts to smile, but judging by the look on Raphael’sface it came out more like a grimace. “Is everything okay?” Raphael is silentfor a long time, and then he swallows audibly.

“You.” He says to Simon. “They’re feelings for you.”

Simon is floored for a second, unable to do anything but gape atRaphael. The blanket of terror and elation from before is back, crashing intohim. He feels like a string pulled taut, hovering on the edge of a precipice.He never could have imagined that it would be Raphael instigating this.

“Really?” Simon manages to croak out. Raphael nods, and Simon breaksout into a grin. “Oh, thank Godbecause I feel the same way. About you.”

Raphael flinches at thatrevelation. Simon frowns then, taking in the tight lines across Raphael’s faceand the way he’s clenching his fists. “Raphael? What’s wrong?”

“You should know.” He gets out, his voice tight. “When Magnus calledand said those things about…having a good time, and all that – I don’t do that.Magnus wouldn’t even have called and said those things if he weren’t drunkhimself. It was a joke.”

“I figured as much.” Simon says slowly. “But you’re trying to saysomething else here?”

“Yeah, I’m.” Raphael exhales, and crosses his arms defensively. “I’masexual. I’m never going to want sex.”

Oh.

“I feel very strongly about you, Simon.” Raphael continues, his voiceveering into anguished territory, leaving Simon dazed with the amount ofemotion that’s behind his words. “I didn’t think I would ever feel anything aboutanyone, and I was okay with that. Butyou’re – different. And you deserve to be happy. This isn’t how I imaginedtelling you, but beggars can’t be choosers.” He says, shrugging his shouldersand giving Simon a self-deprecating smile. It’s heartbreaking.

“You make me happy.” Simonblurts out, desperate to alleviate the sadness that Raphael is carrying. “Ialways – your sense of humor is really aggressive and it took me a long time toparse out that when you were insulting me or not, but – my feelings for youaren’t based in sex.” He says.

Raphael makes a startled noise and steps back, searching Simon’s facefor something. Simon swallows and stands his ground.

“You – really?” Raphael asks.

“I’m not gonna lie and say that I immediately know what to do aboutit.” Simon says firmly. “We need to sit down and have a long talk about yourboundaries and my boundaries and how this is going to work out, but God – Ilike you. A lot. I want to work it out. I want to try, and I – I mean, do you want that?”

“More than you could know.” Raphael says slowly. Simon reaches out atentative hand.

“Can I…?” he asks, his voice unsteady. Raphael makes a noise and pullsSimon forward, wrapping him up in a tight embrace. Simon slides his arms aroundRaphael’s back, burying his face in Raphael’s hair and sighing contentedly.

“You use too much product in your hair.” Simon mutters, nosing over thestiff strands.

“This is a romantic moment.” Raphael fires back, tightening his grip onSimon’s waist. His voice is muffled as he presses his face into Simon’s neck.“You’re ruining it.”

“I’m making it better.” Simon counters, laughing. Raphael pulls backand looks at him, his eyes warm and trusting as he leans in to brush his nosealong Simon’s cheek.

“You make everything better.” He whispers hoarsely, his voice soft andawestruck.

“So do you.” Simon whispers back, his voice equally as awestruck.

It’s almost midnight, and they’re in a drab high-rise office buildingin the middle of New York. Raphael smells like alcohol and sharp perfume, likethe club he’s made his way from, and Simon’s phone number is still etched intothe corner of a wall somewhere in a public restroom, something he really shouldtake care of. He and Raphael still need to figure out how a boss-employeerelationship is going to work, and they’re standing next to rows and rows ofcubicles. It’s not exactly a fairy-tale romance. It’s the furthest thing fromthat – it’s just them swaying slightly, wrapped up in each other, under theweak fluorescent lights of the office.

But it’s more perfect than anything Simon could have ever imagined,because Raphael is here, in his arms,and that’s enough of a fairy-tale for him.

#saphael #simon lewis #raphael santiago #shadowhunters #i write sometimes

37 notes · View notes