#i have to set a bunch aside for taxes but i might be able to find a car now 😭

[mikelogan]

i just got my long-term disability backpay for the last 14 months anyone else want to cry literal tears of joy with me

[dr-dendritic-trees]

"I'm actively suppressing the urge to just launch into my potted lecture on how much of people's reluctance to deal with natural fibre clothing is based around laundry, because its only semi-related."

please please lecture!

@drafty-castle you also indicated an interest in the Laundry Lecture so you can come join us, but your unfortunate run-in with Hobbit Pants more or less summarizes my concerns.

So basically the tl;dr is, laundry is hard and ethically made natural fibre clothes are expensive and that is a bad combination and its not fair or reasonable to expect people to do a bunch of independent research just to wash their clothes.

If I go out and buy a bunch of cheap shitty polyester clothing, it will feel bad, and be made unethically, and be environmentally destructive, and get stinky and need to be washed all the fucking time, BUT and this is crucial, I can be pretty confident that I can just toss it in the washing machine and dryer. Its very easy, it doesn't require much outside knowledge other than a basic grasp of the settings on my laundry machine, its not physically taxing and it doesn't vary very much from brand to brand or item to item. On top of that, if my shitty shein shirt does shrink or otherwise get destroyed in the wash that's frustrating, but unless I'm very poor, the shirt is replaceable.

If I'm dealing with higher end, more ethical natural fibres none of that is true. Even if we set aside the issue of cost for a minute, and just assume the clothing fairy magicked them into your wardrobe, each of those lovely, ethical, natural fibre pieces has its own washing instructions which again, are not common knowledge and which often aren't communicated by the people selling the clothes.

One of the benefits to natural fibres is actually they don't need to be washed as often, they can often be aired out between wears and only laundered relatively infrequently, but that's only helpful if you already know that. And unless you attach the information to the garment they don't!! People don't know that!!

So with your brand new exciting natural fibre wardrobe, you have to know how to wash, probably, 3 separate fibre types at minimum, probably closer to 5-10, and you have to know, or check the fibre composition of every garment and you have to do different laundry, for all of those different fibre types.

So the laundry becomes much more complex and cognitively demanding, and much more time consuming, and much more labour intensive physically, and you generally need more space to do it in. A small washer and dryer can be tucked into a closet, garments that need to be aired or dried on a rack take up a lot more room. So when we talk about how great it would be if everyone had access to these sorts of clothes there's a whole segment of the population that just will not be able to do that. It just won't be possible for them to keep their clothes clean without either paying for labour, or getting support, even if they do have the facilities, which is not guaranteed. And where is the huge pool of skilled laundry labour coming from? Historically, that was done by people how had literally no better options, usually impoverished women, but no one's talking about that funnily enough.

And on top of that, these clothes are expensive. That's not avoidable. So now, when you do mess up the (complex, labour intensive, time consuming) you've destroyed a garment that's going to be financially painful to replace for all but the absolute richest people.

And that's the best case scenario! That's not even getting into stupid problems like how some cotton and linen can be machine washed and some can't not based on any property of the the fabric but based on the fabric was preshrunk, so the garment which might or might not shrink in the wash based on decisions made up the supply chain. Or how, frankly, not every company actually uses good quality natural fibres, so sometimes your very expensive linen trousers just wear through in 18 months no matter how carefully you wash them (ask me how I know this).

This is also how I feel about mending. Another theoretical benefit to natural fibre clothes is that they're much more able to be repaired and altered but that's only helpful if you either have the time and skill to repair your clothes, or access and money to pay someone else to maintain your clothes. Again, where is this extra labour coming from?

I'm not meaning to be the clothing grinch! I really do think this could be resolved constructively. But people who just want to buy clothes that aren't an evironmental and ethical nightmare are not going to be able to spontaneously fix it. Someone needs to actually put some proactive work into fixing the logistics.

[aemfocus]

At the start of covid, I decided I really did not want to return to my day job and I wanted to make a solid go at opening a sticker shop! Specifically one that would make gaming stickers.

Pictures and some info under the cut.

I was a janitor for the FAA and I asked for much better PPE, the sort you ask for in a pandemic, this was at the start of it all and my manager just... refused to order so I quit. (my spouse made in bonus what I was making in a year lmao, so I was fine)

I've always wanted to make a go of being self employed and I LOVE planners and stickers, and for years I've been watching my fav small shops with interest so... I figured lets do this!

I spent time figuring out taxes and all that; then I found a decent cheap first printer; after I got to drawing up 10 sticker sheets with a bunch of state stickers I was working on as well.

This one was the first, and I'm not a huge fan, the lines weren't clean etc. but I spent a bunch of time testing paper, ordering from 'the competition' as it were and eventually landed on something easy to work with and affordable. I tried to figure out 'branding' and landed on something I kinda liked. Even came up with a name for the shop.

Starberry Oats.

This was another earlier one, and I'm -really- not a fan, and I wasn't at the time but I figured it would fill a little void.

Finally things I really like! And am proud of!

Fallout and Skyrim stickers! They are, of course, my most popular, as I do give them out to friends and people in various discords.

My second most popular sets! The retro goodies, I loved making these, and they were such a pain to get to print well.

Some basics, I enjoyed making these but they needed to be themed better, as it is I have trouble working them into my planner!

I LOVE THIS ONE. One of my personal favs, because it's one of my fav things to draw.

Another popular set.

And that's what I planned to open with!

Except I never did. My MIL kept moving in and out, my SIL kept having issues, life just became a lot, and I kept pushing it aside because I didn't want to open a shop and not give it a full 40hrs a week.

Then 2023 happened, and it got ugly AF. But at the end of the year my spouse and I sat and had a conversation about if I would return to work in 2024. I know the tumblr knee jerk reaction is to always have a job and always be self sufficient, because ya never know. But if my spouse hadn't been our only source of income I wouldn't have been able to take care of my mother, or in 2023 his mother. After 21 years I kinda know. Anyways my cats are getting older, I would have to put one down if I was working. An otherwise happy healthy kitty, just because it needs some extra care. Fuck that shit.

At the end of the day we opted for me to not return to work and I assessed if I wanted to make the sticker shop a real thing. And I decided after watching several ugly charge back orders on very small sticker shops, that no. I don't want to. But I do want to give stickers to people. I still want to make them. But for me. And friends.

SO this year I started back up.

Cuttlefish and octo friends. I love drawing them, so relaxing!

Also some fic stickers.

I plan to make more sticker sheets this year, planning a BG3 set, a Mass Effect set and maybe Dragon age. My hands might be shaky as shit to the point of being unable to draw many days but damn if I don't enjoy it. <3

anyways if you made it this far TY! <3

[morimakesfanart]

Is your house big enough for 10 people 🫠 I can feel myself melting away thinking about the problems you will face 😮‍💨 but having anime people in your house how cool is that 😎

We can make it work. Due to financial and legal reason, my sibling and I have been unable to move out of our parents' home. Here's a preview from what I have written so far that explains how all of them will fit:

When I was 4 1/2 years old, we had to move because my mom's job changed locations. At that same time she was pregnant with my younger sibling, so we also moved into a bigger home. My parents were sold a house they couldn't afford the upkeep on, but they wouldn't understand that for several years. And because of the crashing housing bubble, job markets, and person taste, my parents out right denied the idea of selling the house to get a smaller place we could actually properly take care of. Our roof has poorly patch, holes, and our siding is rotting -to name some of the growing problems. However, it did have a few more rooms than the average house. Both of my parents were hoarders and 7 years after my mom's death, we were still clearing out her things, and fighting my father from adding to the problem. Luckily, in the past few years we had managed to mostly clear out the 2 rooms that had once been a dining room(now "the back room"), and home office (now "the den"). It would be cramped, but we would be able to fit all 9 of them. Both the living room and the den each have a sofa with a pullout queen mattress, and since my dad was a literal hoarder that wouldn't let us throw things out, we have another old queen mattress in our basement, and a king mattress blocking the coat closet. The two old mattresses could be laid on the floor in the back room next to the den. All 4 of those would be enough to fit 9 people ....even with Hina being a giant. I decided to leave the end decisions for who would sleep where to our guests. If they could run a country, they could figure out who was going to sleep where on their own.

Since I was little, my parents pulled out of their pensions and 401Ks multiple times to keep us afloat, so we wouldn't have to move :( We've only been surviving since my mom died, because of me working, and my mom leaving a bunch in savings that my dad uses to pay utilities and most of the food bill. My dad can't work, so I have been the one paying the mortgage, insurance, and taxes for the house too. There are still a few more years left before it will be payed off. Since the house is falling apart it's an eyesore, so we are being charged higher taxes then our neighbors. (This is a common tactic to kick out "problem" families instead of helping them.) Once the house is paid off, I can start putting money aside to be able to try fixing the house, and hopefully get our taxes lowered.

In the fanfic, I plan to have Sin and the Generals work enough to help us, so it won't focus on our struggles. I am planning on having one chapter as set up, and then any other requests for things to happen in the reverse isekai AU will be chapters after that. :D

Me and my younger sibling, Lyly, have discussed reverse isekai for a ton of series before, so we already have some plans for how it could work, and what we would do. Since I started working on this in June of '22, I have talked to my family about what we would do, and how we might make it work. The excerpt I put above is something I talked to them about earlier today, actually XD We talked for over an hour about the different characters and how they might be able to help us too. My whole household knows Magi because I live here and they can't get me to shut up about it XD They've both seen the full anime for Magi and Adventures; Lyly has read a bit of both manga but didn't finish. Everyone in this house agrees that Ja'far is a lot like Lyly, so my dad said he'd be comfortable with Ja'far helping him with paperwork stuff. He also wants to know more about Hina after learning that he's also a widower and over 50 y/o. So it's going to be fun writing how all of them help us get out of the red :3

For all the people that have dm'd me asking if Lyly will ever isekai into Sindria's Prophet after reading my diary comic, "Mori the Webcomic," the answer is: probably not because I don't want to ever misrepresent them. I will write some one shots where it happens for fun, and they will be in this reverse iskekai AU. Lyly is taking a semi active roll with the writing for any chapter that they appear in.

[lunarsilkscreen]

Competition in identical Goods

This isn't an analysis in similar good, like granny-smith apples and honey crisp apples, but identical goods.

After being shown several examples, such as price competition in a dozen eggs I thought it might be interesting to examine how this function works through several methods. Socialistic, Capitalistic, and competition between both.

So if three farmers produce several dozens of eggs, the farmer who prices his eggs the lowest we will no doubt sell out first. If that's the total amount that a community needs, then the other two farmers won't sell anything unless they price competitively.

If demand is high, all three farmers will eventually sell all their eggs, and the farmer with the lowest price will increase his prices simply because the demand is higher than the supply and they will all eventually sell out.

Unless you price over what the customers are willing or able to pay, then all the farmers won't sell out without a price decrease. Remember, the customers are budgeting for total food, and they might go with a cheaper product instead. (Like a bag of potatoes, even if they're not getting their total protein intake.)

Which may result in eggs going bad instead of being sold.

If the demand is low, then one of those farmers will take a hit. He will have no choice. Unless one farmer undercuts the others, they may end up with product that goes bad before it is sold.

There's a few ways to ensure that all farmers get equitable payment, that also ensures the product is available to your average consumer. The first is through incorporation or conglomeration. A bunch of egg farmers get together, package their eggs together, and then divide the revenue amongst themselves. So if 5 farmers work together, everybody gets paid 1/5 an egg instead of competing together.

The problem with this is, that farmers are currently overwhelmed and underpayed by the current overlords that control most of the egg corps. Imagine working fast food, but instead it's chicken butts and cardboard.

The farmers are also expected to take loans from these corps to start up, which is where most of the profit comes from the corporate side, and the farms take the losses if they can't keep up with the demands of the corp, who also penalizes them for it.

See: Stray Dog Institute for more information

Another way is the socialistic method, the government sets aside money for the expected need of the population. The government buys the eggs from the farmers, and then sells it to the customers. This has a few of it's own benefits and drawbacks, one drawback is similar to the current problem with incorporation, in that the government might pay less than the farms put into producing the eggs. But a benefit, is that the government can afford to sell the eggs at a lower cost than they paid for it. They'll make the loss back through taxes.

We can see that both of these methods have the same drawback that many people would place solely on "socialism" and that's why it's key that there is both. If they are competing, farms can sell where they get more money, and customers can buy from where it's cheapest to buy.

The competition also means that they have to adhere to certain safety standards, and increasing safety standards can be a competition point.

The main drawback of the socialistic method is that there's no room for discerning "like items" except by the USDA grading scale. So "organic" and "cage-free" and similar methods that were often used to claim healthier and more tasty product yields don't fit, since both are more worried about low-price and product yield instead of product quality.

That's where the capitalist method, and allowing individual family-owned farms to shine. If they can find a customer base, they can sell outside the paradigm created by the worst of capitalism and socialism combined.

With enough effort, the standards of the family farm can make it into the safety and health minimum standards for egg production.

Currently, however, that's not likely. Since most people can't afford whole-foods, they're not about to waste what little money they have for food on food they might not be able to tell the difference.

This is the landscape we're facing today, and everybody already knows that you don't take the more expensive option when the only option is belt tightening. And that's going to hurt the individuals at the end of all these options.

Those farmers incorporated, the ones subsidized, the family farmers, and the individual consumer. They're all currently hurting, even though we still waste more eggs than we eat.

Isn't that something?

[legobiwan]

ok this may seem out of the blue but im curious to hear your thoughts on what changes should’ve been made to the galactic republic before it fell. Like obviously it has its failings but I’m wondering what people want it to look like, other than the Jedi being completely divorced from its politics- do planets have their own forces, and the Jedi only step in when it’s egregious? What would’ve happened if the Separatists weren’t this purposefully evil creation of Palpatine that were acting on some very valid concerns? This stuff about Star Wars is fun to me lol

What a great ask, anon!

Honestly, by the time we reached the TPM era, the Republic, as it stood, was already doomed. I actually think the Separatists, and Dooku, by extension, had a legitimate argument in seceding from the Republic. The whole government was too large, too unwieldy, and the planetary representatives far too concerned with lining their own pockets to institute any meaningful change (*peers around nervously in American*). Yes, the whole Separatist faction was a toy of Palpatine's greater ambitions, but let's say Sheev slipped in the bathtub and did himself in - I don't think there would have been reconciliation between the two factions.

It's like imagining having an official, planetary government for dear, old Earth. (Yes, you could argue we have a de facto one now, which is a legitimate point of view, but at least countries are still officially independent from each other, with the exception of things like the EU or the mess of 50 mini-countries and other assimilated lands known as America). What a disaster that would be. (American hegemony is bad enough as it is, but in this case, it would be legal.)

Anyway, real-life politics aside, the Republic likely should have broken up into factions, kind of like separate continents/countries/unions that would be loosely aligned by an overarching set of treaties, etc. Ultimately, the return on the investment in joining the Republic was not enough for many planets but by the same token, they would be unable to function, and thus were almost hostages of the central government on Coruscant, which, used the Jedi to enforce "diplomacy" between planets even before the Clone War, to maintain this large, overreaching central body and its claim to planets (and taxes and defense forces) all throughout the galaxy.

Now, the Jedi? They signed themselves over to the Republic, legally, and thus were the enforcers for a regime that was corrupting more and more each year. But what could they do otherwise? What do you do with a bunch of super-powered beings who, if turned, could unleash all matter of death and destruction, as seen in the Sith/Jedi conflicts of the past?

If the Republic had broken up into smaller factions, it actually might have been better for the Jedi, as they would be third-party peacekeepers and diplomats independent of a central ruling body. They could spread out to different parts of the galaxy, learn the planets and customs of that (for lack of a better term) planetary continent, be emissaries of that culture while maintaining some form of (or forms of) self-policing Temples throughout the galaxy.

And this is a situation where Qui-gon had it right on the nose. He complains to himself about the Jedi training being limited to Coruscant in Master and Apprentice, that Padawans would be better served by not growing up in the center of government (at least not for the entirety of their training), but rather, serving different areas of the galaxy. In a way, I suppose, it kind of mirrors the Jedi Service Corps infamous in the Jedi Apprentice novels. Which is probably a more practical iteration of the Jedi rather than the sequestered, paramilitary organization they ended up transforming into (not all by their accord).

The Jedi are inherently political (all things are political, of course). With their powers, the only way they would be able to divorce themselves entirely of politics would be to either end the Order completely or live in total isolation, kind of like what you hear about the peoples of North Sentinel Island.

Now, getting to this point where the Republic is broken up would likely be messy as hell and even without the Separatists, open warfare would not be out of the question. And so at this juncture, the Jedi would really have to come to a decision as to what their role is vis-a-vis the Republic, the greater good, and their political stance.

(And this is one of the many ways in which I feel the Jedi fell short. They tried to be both political and apolitical at the same time during a war and just got steamrolled by everyone. If there's one drumbeat I will hit again and again it's that the Jedi sucked hardcore at PR. They didn't want to be seen as war heroes but at the same time, their reticence to get ahead of the messaging buried their reputation by the time the tide of the war and public opinion turned against them. They didn't stand a chance and even if Sheev had bit it, there's a very good chance the Republic military and civilian forces would have acted against the Jedi by the end of the war).

So in my mind, the Jedi - if they pursued this path - would have to decide just who they are and what they support, and how the organization would change, which is a whole other problem. And might even lead to a schism in the Order itself and that's a whole other topic that I will not get into now as I have ranted long enough in this answer :D

[douchebagbrainwaves]

BEFORE THE GAP

Every movie is a Frankenstein, full of imperfections and usually quite different from what was originally envisioned. The better you understand them the better the odds of doing that. All through college, and probably long before that, most undergrads have been thinking about what employers want. By the time you get to social questions, many changes are just fashion. Ditto for houses. For example, according to current NPR values, you can't outsell an Oracle salesman. There are two types of ideas, but not about observing proprieties. If you're raising an angel round, the size of a motorcycle when you wanted to, but they might lose value from year to year. David Filo's title was Chief Yahoo, but he got a lot of change in a few decades, and what to do with technology, because they had neat hair and spoke in deep, confident voices, and generally didn't know much more than they read on the teleprompter. But you shouldn't automatically get demoralized either.

The company is now starting to read as a failure. There are a lot of people are writing now about why Kerry lost. In fact, what makes the number go up, and you'll probably find it changes what you like. And a good thing too, or a programming language, or a carefully cropped image of a seacoast town in Maine. If in each new idea you're able to grow 6% a week instead of 5%. Whereas I suspect over at General Motors the marketing people are telling the designers, Most people who buy SUVs do it to seem manly, not to drive off-road. And if you don't do everything you're supposed to buy when times are good. There may be cases where this isn't true. David isn't mistaken in saying you should start a company by just writing some clever software, putting it on a server somewhere, and watching the money roll in—without ever having to talk to more. Then you could, in effect, so you should a consciously shift gears, instead of just working on amusing technical problems; it shows you have the cheapest, easiest product, you'll own the low end.

And yet a lot is at stake. Don't let rejections pile up as a company. There are few sources of energy so powerful as a procrastinating grad student. It takes experience to predict what other people will want. If you argue against censorship in general, just as you'd leave some trivial but messy feature for version 2. If they can realize before other investors that some apparently unpromising startup isn't, they can make a huge amount of money companies spend on software, and bad at making cars and cities. Starting a startup is the damage done by their own indecision. If we could look into the past. They assumed that all they had to cut the last item because they didn't do that. And usually the acquirer doesn't just want the technology, but the most successful startups seem to be more liquid.1 Apparently voters were afraid to say they planned to vote against him, like a branch snapping back in his face.

What counts as pornography and violence? Now how are you doing compared to the rapacious founder after two years? No one who voted for Kerry felt virtuous for doing so, and were eager to tell pollsters they had. The idea doesn't matter much either way. Investors like it when you're ramen profitable. And while that would probably be a stretch for you, the founders, they'll have to choose? This works so long as you exclude people who respond from identity.2 I'm not even sure what the list is, because we were so desperate for users that we'd offer to build merchants' sites for them if they'd sign up.

Especially the type, all too common then, that was like a bunch of young guys millions of dollars just for being clever. We probably had 20 deals of various types fall through. Launching teaches you what you should do anyway: run it as cheaply as possible. What airborne means depends on the type of company whose goal was above all scale.3 Maybe that's possible, but I don't think there's an answer. The numbers for me ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. The trouble with keeping your thoughts secret, though, requires a conscious effort to find smart friends. If you start a company when he wrote the first versions of Google.

Notes

We currently advise startups mostly to ignore what your body is telling you and listen only to buy corporate bonds to market faster; the Reagan administration's comparatively sympathetic attitude toward takeovers; the Depository Institutions Act of 1936. But I'm convinced there were some good ideas buried in Bubble thinking. Incidentally, tax receipts have stayed close to starting startups since Viaweb, he'd get his ear pierced.

There were several other reasons. It does at least one beneficial feature: it might be an open source project, but in practice money raised as convertible debt, so we hacked together our own Web site.

Not startup ideas, they don't want to measure how dependent you've become on distractions, try this thought experiment: set aside an option pool. Since capital is no grand tradition of city planning like the outdoors? And pass on the one hand they take a small amount of brains. That will in many cases be an instance of a more reserved society, or magazines.

Thanks to Sarah Harlin, Adora Cheung, Geoff Ralston, Jessica Livingston, Trevor Blackwell, and Rich Draves for sharing their expertise on this topic.

[secretpeachtea]

Onigiri Miya Tidbits Ch 1

Title: the predicament

Genre: gen fic, reader insert

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Onigiri Miya is now hiring and you just happen to be the right person for the job. The business has been gaining popularity since its grand opening, and many customers travel from different cities just to have a bite of Miya Osamu’s delicious recipes. You did expect some craziness from working in food services, but what you didn’t expect was to be bombarded with frequent tomfoolery from a bunch of attractive volleyball players during your shifts.

disclaimer: manga spoilers

Next

“...and that’s about it for training. I might even teach you how to make some of the recipes one day, but for now, you’ll be in charge of register. I’ll be right over there if you got any questions.”

Today was your first day working at Onigiri Miya. After spending countless hours looking for a way to earn some money, you finally scored a part time job in this quaint onigiri establishment. You originally wanted to avoid working at a food joint due to their notorious obnoxious customers, but you didn’t really have much of a choice if you wanted to be able to pay for next month’s rent. As a student, you’re pretty limited on time as well, so it was nice that the work hours matched up with your schedule. Despite your initial hesitance, you lucked out in having such a kind boss.

“Glad to have you here, (Surname)-san.” Miya Osamu gave you a soft smile that almost made you swoon right then and there. Luckily, he was too busy wiping down his work area to catch you staring. 

Yup, you definitely lucked out in having such a handsome boss as well.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard the bell above the entrance ring, signaling the arrival of a customer. Putting on your best smile, you straighten your posture and fix up your black work hat.

“Welcome to Onigiri Miya!”

“Hey, hey, hey! Akaashi! This place is pretty nice!”

Two men walked into the shop casually and looked around with interest. The one who had spoken adorned a black and grey hoodie that matched the color of his hair, while the bespectacled figure wore a white button down to match his professional aura. Quite the duo as your first customers.

“Bokuto-san, try to keep your voice down indoors. We wouldn’t want to disturb other customers.”

Although the two were unfamiliar to you, Osamu seemed to recognize them almost immediately. “Oh, hey guys. What brings you here today?”

Akaashi adjusted his glasses and responded first. “I heard Onigiri Miya was deemed as the best onigiri restaurant of the year in Japan, so I wanted to come see for myself.”

“Tsum-Tsum said that you make the best Onigiri in the world, so I really wanted to try it out too!” Bokuto sported a wide smile while gesturing his arms for emphasis like a young child.

You just watched the three make some small talk, slightly surprised by how your boss was so familiar with the new customers. You haven’t become fully acquainted yet, so it was interesting to see the type of people he befriended. 

It wasn’t until you briefly heard Osamu say your name, did you snap out of your little trance. “(Surname)-san can help you with your orders today.”

Placing a smile on your face, you set your eyes on Bokuto and Akaashi. “What can I get for you today?”

“I’ll have a Miso Onigiri,” Akaashi ordered after briefly eyeing the menu. His friend, however, seemed to have some trouble choosing.

“Um...hmm...mmm.” Bokuto stared at the menu for a few minutes with furrowed brows. One of his hands traced each menu option rapidly while the other hand rubbed his own head in contemplation. “There’s so many flavors! How do I choose?!”

You blinked a couple times at his exaggerated reaction, but quickly made the effort to help him by using what you remember from training. “Well, I can recommend you something. Are you in the mood for meat?”

The owlish male stared at you with sparkling eyes. “I’m always in the mood for meat!”

“If you order the Nikumaki Onigiri* special today you can receive two gyoza* on the side for no extra charge.” You pointed to the small chalkboard sign that stood next to the counter with the mentioned special that was written out by Osamu before the shop opened for the day. 

“Then, I’ll order Nikumaki Onigiri because meat is the best!” Bokuto declared wholeheartedly.

Relieved that he was finally able to make a decision, you didn’t really think about the consequence of your next question. “Pork or Beef?”

“Uh...hmmm…..umm…” 

You sweatdropped at Bokuto as he once again frowned at his predicament. Osamu just quietly snickered behind you, fully aware of Bokuto’s indecisive tendencies when it came to food. Thankfully, Akaashi was getting a bit impatient himself. “Beef. He’ll take beef. And, I’ll just pay for both.”

“Alrighty! Your total will be 300 yen.” You grab the money from Akaashi and pass him the receipt. “Miya-san will take care of your order soon.”

“Thanks, (Surname)-chan!” Bokuto yelled out.

The two didn’t go far and decided to just sit at the counter space right next to the register as they waited for their food. 

Only the four of you occupied the shop at the moment and so far there haven’t been any phone orders since the day was still young. You consider yourself pretty lucky since you aren’t overwhelmed with customers on your first day. You didn’t really have much to do aside from standing in front of the register and daydreaming, so your ears automatically pick up on the conversation next to you.

“How have you been, Bokuto-san? I heard your team has been doing well this season,” Akaashi began.

Bokuto gave off the brightest smile he could manage at the mention of his favorite sport. “Yeah! We’ve been practicing every day and playing some practice games with other teams. We’re actually starting tryouts next month to scout some new players on the team!”

“Oh? I thought your team had a pretty solid roster this year?”

“My teammates are definitely strong, but after we lost to the Adlers in the last tournament, Coach thought it would be interesting to add some new faces to catch everyone off guard.”

Akaashi nodded his head in understanding. “I do think the element of surprise is very effective in volleyball.”

“It’s gonna be like a fun, surprise birthday party! We’re gonna be up against a strong team but then...BOOM! SURPRISE! They’ll never know what hit them!”

“I suppose so.”

“But, I guess it wouldn’t be as exciting since it’s no one’s birthday…” Although Bokuto no longer transitioned into his depressed phase like he did in high school, he still had moments where he’d randomly fall into a melancholic mood. “And, there wouldn’t be a big party either…”

Akaashi, already sensing the first signs of Bokuto’s altered mood, quickly thought up a solution. He held a certain glint in his eyes as he focused on his former teammate. “Anything can be exciting for everyone if volleyball is involved, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s head perked up at the mention of volleyball once again, and you could’ve sworn that his hair spiked up along with his brightened expression. “You’re right, Akaashi! Man, volleyball is really great!”

At this time, Osamu finally finished putting together the two onigiris and set the plates down on the counter, putting an end to the silly conversation. There were wisps of steam coming off of the freshly cooked meat with a heavenly scent that would make anyone’s mouth water. You can definitely make out a thin line of drool threatening to fall down on Bokuto’s chin at the sight in front of him.

“A Miso Onigiri for Akaashi-san, and a Nikumaki Onigiri with a side of gyoza for Bo-san!”

The two guys thanked Osamu for the meal and each took a bite of the savory food. Their satisfied expressions were all it took for Osamu to laugh with a triumphant smile. Even you were affected by the positive reaction.

Before taking another bite, Akaashi looked as if he remembered something and turned to Bokuto. “I almost forgot. You said you wanted to ask me about something you were having trouble with?”

“Oh, yeah! I don’t really know how taxes work!” Bokuto nonchalantly replied with a chunk of meat hanging from his lips. 

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi paused, “have you not been paying your taxes?”

The volleyball player took another large bite out of his onigiri and stared at his friend while chewing. “Was I supposed to?”

“…”

There was a brief moment of silence, the only noise coming from the appliances in the shop. Not knowing what to do, you just stood still and tried your best not to make your shock obvious. You never thought you’d become a witness to a tax evasion confession, but there seems to be a first for everything. There was a small part of you that also wanted to laugh, but you didn’t think it would be appropriate with the fact that you didn’t know the two men sitting in front of you very well. Although, you think you might’ve heard a soft snicker come from your boss, but maybe it was your imagination.

“Has anyone contacted you recently about finances? Perhaps a bank or, um, the police?”

“Hmm...Not that I know of!” Bokuto scratches his head in thought. “But then again, I might’ve missed some calls during practices. I don’t answer unknown numbers either ever since Omi-kun told me about the scary people that try to take my money!”

With his half-eaten onigiri resting between his fingers, Akaashi’s distressed eyes make contact with yours. You two just stared at one another for a couple seconds, while Bokuto casually finished the last of his onigiri, moving onto the gyoza eagerly.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this, (Surname)-san.” You’d be lying if you said you felt nothing when Akaashi asked with such a pleading tone while trying to maintain his stoic face.

Lips are sealed. Ears are plugged. Mind is clear.

“I didn’t hear a thing, Akaashi-san.”

“Thank you.”

Not wanting to waste any food, Akaashi took the time to consume the last of his meal, albeit with a bit of a stressed aura, before getting up from his seat. Bokuto had finished all of his food as well and just followed suit.

“We should get going, Bokuto-san. It’s going to take a bit of time to help you with your um...predicament.”

Bokuto, still unaware of his situation at hand, turns to smile at you and Osamu. “Thanks for the great food! It was definitely as good as Tsum-Tsum said it would be! Next time I visit, I’ll bring the team!”

Akaashi bowed while Bokuto energetically waved before the two took a step outside and slid the door closed. You could still hear the boisterous volleyball player mentioning how excited he is to spend time with his close friend to do taxes for the day.

You and Osamu share a look before bursting out in laughter together. If this is how your shifts are gonna be all the time, maybe working at a restaurant isn’t so bad after all.

“So, what’d you think of your first day?”

It was now late into the evening and you and Osamu were getting ready to head home soon. Osamu was wiping down his work area, while you were sweeping the floors. Your first day went well, and you surprisingly only made a few mistakes when taking calls. Out of all your first days from previous part time jobs, this one went the smoothest.

“I think it went well! I’ve never worked in an onigiri restaurant, but all your customers seemed pretty respectful,” you responded as you set aside the broom. 

Just as you were about to head to the back room to put away your apron, your stomach let out a distinct grumble. Heat rose onto your cheeks because you’re sure that the handsome man near you most definitely heard it.

Osamu let out an amused laugh. “You hungry?”

“Maybe a little?” You put on a sheepish smile, silently cursing your body for betraying you like that.

“How about you get your things and I’ll whip you up something to take home?” Your boss smirked.

“I thought we used up all the ingredients for today? I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way for me.” You ask even though you secretly are dying to actually try one of his godly onigiris.

Osamu just shrugs his shoulders. “I set aside some things for my brother, but I’m sure he can go a day with takeout.”

You get the feeling that he won’t let you leave until you take his offer, so you just agree and head to the back room to gather your things and stop by the bathroom. You eventually make your way back to the counter area and see that Osamu already has a small bag filled with an onigiri and a sweet tea drink. He sports a lax grin as you walk towards him and hands you the bag gently.

“One Minced Tuna and Spring Onion Onigiri.”

Your face stretched into a wide smile, already looking forward to having a taste of Osamu’s recipe. “That sounds delicious!”

“It’s my brother’s favorite. Hope you’re not allergic to fish.”

You shake your head fervently. “No way. I’d be so upset if I couldn’t eat something that smelled as good as this! Your brother has good taste.”

“I guess. He’s still got some loose screws though. Definitely knows how to irritate me to no end.” The man in front of you slouches and lets out a tired sigh.

“Well, I suppose I’ll have to meet him someday to find out.” Now, you were getting a little curious about Osamu’s brother. “I’d like to meet the guy that knows how to make my composed boss look like he’s ready to murder.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Nikumaki Onigiri = basically rice wrapped around meat

Gyoza = dumplings, potstickers, whatever you wanna call them

A/N: super excited to share this series with y’all! I’ve never shared my writing on tumblr so we’ll see how this goes oof. I was originally going to post this later in the week, but it’s the twins’ birthday today, so I had to do it!

[paulckrueger]

Debt consolidation: How does it work and is it right for you?

When you have debts everywhere you turn, it can feel like you’re completely swamped. Your hands are tied every payday as you funnel money into paying off debts, leaving you with no room to save.  

That’s why a lot of people turn to debt consolidation, which is when you use a loan to pay off all of your debt — and it can seem like a godsend.

But wait, how is ANOTHER debt supposed to help?

Of course, you’re right to be suspicious. The thing is, it can help but only if you do it right. Do it wrong and you’ll be kicking yourself from a position worse than you’re in now. So, should I consolidate my debt?

Debt consolidation can work as a way to pay off debt faster. However, if you’re not disciplined and look for help in the wrong places, you’ll end up spending MORE time paying off your debt.

Let’s take a look at what debt consolidation is, how to consolidate debt, the pros and cons, where to find a reputable organization to help you, and ways you can get out of debt fast.

Bonus: Ready to ditch debt, save money, and build real wealth? Download our FREE Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance.

What is debt consolidation?

Debt consolidation combines all of the debt you owe into a single payment with a lower monthly interest rate. This typically works by taking out another loan in order to pay off all of your other debt.

Let’s say you have debt across three credit cards and you owe the following:

Credit card A: $2,000 at 10% APR

Credit card B: $1,000 at 20% APR

Credit card C: $1,000 at 15% APR

Each month, you’re contributing $100 to each card for a total of $300 — however, a portion of each is being eaten by interest:

Credit card A: $16.67

Credit card B: $16.67

Credit card C: $12.50

So in all you’re paying $254.16 towards your debt rather than the full $300.

With debt consolidation, you take out a loan of $4,000 and pay off ALL of the above debt — and you get a lower interest rate for the loan at 10%.

Now each month when you contribute $300 you’ll pay $266.67 towards your debt rather than just $254.16.

In theory, this means you’ll be able to pay off your debt faster.

The interest rate you’re able to get depends on which type of loan you attain:

Secured loan. This is a loan where you put up an asset (e.g., car or home) as collateral. If you default on your loan, your creditor will repossess said asset.

Unsecured loan. This is a loan that just uses credit. As a result though, you might end up with higher interest rates than if you had a secured loan.

If you want to get your debt consolidated, you’ll have to go through one of the two routes above — which we’ll get into later.

Before we do that though, it’s important you know the dangers around consolidating your debt.  

Bonus: Ready to ditch debt, save money, and build real wealth? Download our FREE Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance.

The problem with debt consolidation

But before you click on one of those scammy internet ads marketing “DEBT CONSOLIDATION — BE DEBT FREE IN 3 HOURS,” consider the big drawbacks to debt consolidation:

1. It could take longer to pay down your debt

If there’s anything we’ve learned about human psychology over a decade of studying behavior and personal finances, it’s that things like that are easier said than done.

For example, if the average person ends up saving $300 in interest payments because of debt consolidation, do you think they’ll use that extra money towards their debt OR do you think they’ll end up spending it?

Most likely, the latter.

Human willpower is limited. It’s the same reason why cutting out lattes or skipping lunch to save money doesn’t work.

A person with 300 “extra dollars” might end up just blowing it on something else.

What happens then is it takes longer to pay down debt. This results in even MORE fees they have to pay.

Aside from diminishing willpower, many debt consolidation loan companies offer up longer loan terms than people realize. So while the interest rate is lower, they end up paying more because they didn’t take into account how long they’d have the loan for.

2. You could lose your home or car

If you decide to put your car or home down as collateral you stand to lose much more than a few thousand dollars off the life of your loan.

A home equity loan is also known as a second mortgage. Taking a second mortgage out on your home means you risk losing your house if you fail to make payments.

Of course there are some advantages to going this route. For one you can deduct the interest payments from your home equity loan from your taxes. Plus you’ll be able to get a lower interest rate than if you went the unsecured route.

Overall, though, it’s just not worth the risk — especially when there are better ways to go about it.

3. Your credit score will suffer

There are a few things that go into making a great credit score. One of them is your credit history — or how long you’ve had credit for.

It actually accounts for 15% of your overall score.

That might seem small but consider this: If you get rid of a bunch of different lines of credit at once, your credit score is going to take a huge drop. That drop gets bigger with more and more lines of credit you close.

How do you know if debt consolidation is right for you?

Debt consolidation can be a great way to plan your route out of debt. But that doesn’t mean it’s the perfect solution for everyone. 

The benefits of debt consolidation are hard to argue with. You can simplify your debt, save money on interest, only deal with one creditor, and (hopefully) clear your debt faster. But there are pros and cons you need to know about before you make this decision.

It can be the best move for some, but worse for others. 

Signs debt consolidation is right for you

You have high-interest debts

The number one sign that debt consolidation is a good option for you is if you have several high-interest debts. Why pay interest on several debts when you can pay it on just one?

If you know you can secure a lower interest loan, it makes sense to consolidate your debts. 

According to Experian, the average personal loan interest rate is 9.41% — whereas the average interest rate for credit cards is around 16%. So, if you’ve got a ton of credit card debt, it’s worth considering debt consolidation.

You have good credit

If you’re already in debt, getting another loan might be tricky unless you have good credit. Most creditors will want a credit score of around 670 (FICO Score). 

If you have good credit, you’re more likely to get approved, and also get a loan with decent interest rates. Remember, you want a loan with lower interest rates than your current debts, so this part is key. If your credit score isn’t the best, a new loan might not have favorable interest rates. 

You want a fixed repayment schedule

With some debts like credit cards, it’s easy to just make the minimum payments or even miss a payment (please don’t do this). This makes it harder to clear the debt because some of it relies on willpower. 

With a personal loan, you have a fixed payment and loan term that you have to abide by. This makes it much easier to stay on track and clear your debts. It also means there are no fluctuations in your monthly debt payments like with a credit card so it’s easier to budget for. 

Signs debt consolidation is NOT right for you

You have a poor credit score 

Having a poor credit score is one reason why a lot of people want to get out of debt as fast as possible. 

However, debt consolidation relies on you not only being able to take out a new loan but also getting one without crazy high interest rates. 

If the only loans you can take out mean you’ll be paying MORE in interest rates, then it’s not worth it. In this case, the only benefit would be to simplify your loans. 

But what you really need is to save on interest so you can clear the debts faster. 

You’re on the verge of bankruptcy

If things have taken a downward turn and creditors are threatening to sue, then a debt consolidation loan may not even be accessible to you. Bankruptcy is a scary thought, but if this is your reality, you are unlikely to qualify for a debt consolidation loan.

If this is your current situation, you would be better off looking into debt settlement to try and reduce your debt amount first. 

You can’t afford the monthly repayments

Taking on another debt is tricky if you’re already in debt. While you can use this one to clear your other debts, you need to make sure you can cover the monthly repayments. 

As it’ll be a higher debt amount (to cover all your other debts), the monthly repayments will be higher. Make sure that you can fit it comfortably into your budget before taking on new debt. 

After all, missing repayments can set you back even further. 

Bonus: Ready to ditch debt, save money, and build real wealth? Download our FREE Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance.

How to consolidate debt — and get rid of it completely

If you’re STILL interested in consolidating your debt, I want to help you.

Because there are a LOT of scammy consolidation services out there. These “businesses” will promise that they’ll help you get out of debt fast through their loan packages …

… only to screw you with hidden fees, bloated interest rates, and long loan terms.

The trick here then is to separate the good debt consolidation organizations from the bad ones.

Step 1: Find a non-profit debt consolidation firm

Non-profit debt consolidation firms are 501(c)(3) organizations that help provide you with consolidation services, credit counseling, and will even negotiate with your creditors for you.

The best part: They do so with little to no costs to you since they’re funded by third-party sources such as donations and grants.

Unfortunately, even scammers and bad consolidation services have non-profit status. So you’ll have to do your research into finding a reputable one.

Two good signs a non-profit debt consolidation firm is the real deal:

Fees. A reputable non-profit will likely have monthly maintenance fees. Luckily, they’re relatively low cost — and if you’re in really dire straits, some non-profits will waive the fees entirely for you.

Non-profit status. This might seem like a no-brainer but it still needs to be said: Ask them for verification of their non-profit status. Too many scam companies pretend they’re non-profits in order to lure people in. Don’t be one of those people.

Make a list of 5 to 10 non-profit debt consolidation firms. Spend the next week calling each of them and getting a consultation on your situation and what they can do for you.

A good non-profit will spend about an hour on your consultation. Beware of any organization that wants to take your money and put you into a plan right away. They are NOT looking out for your best interests.

Step 2: Eliminate temptation

Luckily, a non-profit debt consolidation firm will take care of a lot of legwork for you. That means they’ll call your creditors, negotiate down your debt and interest rate, and work with them to consolidate all of your debt into one manageable monthly payment.

Unluckily, that’s the easy part. The hard part means actually doing the work of paying down your debt — and that’s up to you.

To do that, you need to first get rid of the temptation of using your credit cards until you’re debt-free. If you ever expect to pay down your debt, you can’t add more to it.

Here’s my favorite tip: Plunge your cards into a bowl of water and shove it all into your freezer.

Seriously. Remember what we said about human willpower? It’s very weak — so weak that a solution like freezing your cards is necessary sometimes to delete temptation.

When you literally freeze your credit, you’ll have to chip away at a massive block of ice in order to get it back — giving you time to think about whether or not you want to go through with whatever purchase you were going to make.

You can also give them away to a loved one to keep until you’re out of debt.

Step 3: Confront your debt

It’s good to finally confront your debt. That’s the first step to getting out of it. 

While it may be tough to climb out of debt, the sooner you make a plan to do so, the better. You’ll be able to repair your credit score, work on boosting your savings, save on interest, and finally get some sleep at night. Debt can weigh heavily on the mind, after all. 

The good thing is, you don’t have to do this all alone. There’s help at hand. You can get in touch with a non-profit debt consolidation firm to help you. Take advantage of their credit counseling services to help steer you through unmanageable debt. Do your research and find a non-profit so you can avoid the scammers out there. 

It’s easy to feel bad for yourself and avoid confronting your debt. It’s harder to actually step up and do something about it.

Since you’re here, that means that you’re willing to put in the work to dig yourself out of your financial hole which is amazing!

Bonus: Want to know how to make as much money as you want and live life on your terms? Download our FREE Ultimate Guide to Making Money

What is the difference between debt consolidation and debt settlement?

Another term you’ll likely come across in your quest to clear your debt is debt settlement. But what is it? 

Both debt settlement and debt consolidation are used to handle personal debt, but they work in very different ways.

Debt settlement is used to reduce the total amount of debt owed. Whereas debt consolidation is about reducing the number of creditors you owe. 

With debt consolidation, you combine multiple debts into one. Debt settlement is when you ask one or more of your creditors to accept less than you owe.

If the creditor agrees, you both reach a settlement agreement in either a lump sum or installments. 

Which one is best for you? 

This depends on your circumstances and what the creditor will agree to. If you want to make your monthly repayments more manageable and reduce the amount of interest you pay, then debt consolidation is the way to go.

If you’re already behind on payments and are struggling to meet them, then debt settlement might be a better option. 

In this case, if you’re already behind on payments you might struggle to get a debt consolidation loan anyway because of the impact on your credit score. So, debt settlement is definitely something to try out to reduce the burden. 

Debt settlement is the next logical step if you’re out of options, have poor credit, and want to avoid declaring bankruptcy if at all possible. 

It may mean taking a hit on your credit score, but you might have to just accept that. Once the debts are clear, you can get to work on repairing that damage. 

How does debt settlement work?

Debt settlement is a tricky one and requires you to whip out your negotiation skills. There’s no guarantee the creditor will agree, but there’s no harm in asking.

The process is pretty simple. You can ask your creditor if they would be willing to negotiate a settlement. Do this over the phone or in writing to keep a record of the conversation.

A creditor can do one of three things:

Accept it

Reject it

Make a counteroffer

With the counteroffer, you will need to consider if the amount they want is affordable in your budget. Make sure you’re agreeing to something that’s realistic and fair. 

Once you agree on a settlement amount, all that’s left is to arrange the payments. This can either be a lump sum or through installment payments, whichever you agree to. 

After you’ve made the payments, the remaining balance that’s been hanging over your head will be a nice round zero. 

If negotiating debt settlement on your own sounds like a nightmare, don’t worry. There is help at hand. You can hire a debt settlement company to negotiate on your behalf. However, this does involve paying them a fee, and again, you have to do your research to avoid hiring a scammer. 

Pros and cons of debt settlement

Pros

You reduce your debt amount

The biggest pro to debt settlement is simply that you reduce your debt amount. A lot of people don’t know that you can ask your creditors for this. So they carry on struggling. 

But if you’re struggling, it can’t hurt to ask. If a creditor agrees, you could cut hundreds of dollars from your debt and all the interest that comes on top of that.

You can clear your debt faster

With a smaller debt amount to pay off, you can pay it off faster. Whether you agree on a payment plan or a lump sum, you’ll be able to say goodbye to your debts much sooner. 

This means your money will be freed up faster to put into savings accounts or whatever else you want to spend your money on. You can also get to work repairing any damage to your credit score once the debt is clearer. The sooner the better. 

It could help you avoid bankruptcy

If bankruptcy is on the horizon, debt settlement should absolutely be a consideration. The last thing you want is a bankruptcy on your record. You can pretty much say goodbye to being able to take out credit for a LONG time if you reach this point.

Cons

Your credit score will take a hit

Naturally, debt settlement does not reflect well on your ability to repay debts. If you have debt settlement in your credit history, it signals to future creditors that you are riskier to lend to. This could result in sky-high interest rates or outright credit rejection in the future.

However, if your credit score is already low and your debts are just making it worse, then you pretty much have nothing to lose. Yes, you’ll take a hit, but you’ll also get out of debt sooner if your creditors agree to debt settlement.

You might struggle to get credit again… especially with those creditors

A lower-than-ideal credit score does affect your ability to take out credit in the future. However, if you’ve been in a tricky situation with credit, it’s probably worth avoiding new loans and finance for a little while anyway. 

The creditors who agree to debt settlement will likely avoid lending to you again because they will be worried about losing money. This could limit your options in the future. But if it’s your only option, you might just have to just bite the bullet.

There is no guarantee creditors will agree

Unfortunately, if you’re relying on creditors to throw you a lifeline here, you might be out of luck. In an ideal scenario, they’ll be forgiving and offer you a way to climb out of debt in a way that benefits everyone. 

But there’s no guarantee they’ll do this. They could outright reject your request or be inflexible with their counteroffer.

There’s little you can do if this is the case. You can try another of your creditors if you have several debts to see if any of them will agree. 

Bonus: Ready to ditch debt, save money, and build real wealth? Download our FREE Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance.

Avoiding debt in the future

After you’ve decided on a method to reduce your debt – don’t stop. Ridding yourself of debt is just one key part of building strong personal finance. The other part of the puzzle is to manage your spending so you don’t end up in the same position as before. 

The last thing you want to do is put all your hard work into clearing the debt, only to succumb to temptation or poor money management which puts you right back where you started. 

That’s why we want to give you something that can help you take your personal finances to the next level:  The Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance. In it, you’ll learn how to:

Master your 401k: Take advantage of the free money offered to you by your company.

Manage Roth IRAs: Start saving for retirement in a worthwhile long-term investment account.

Spend the money you have — guilt-free: By leveraging the systems in this e-book, you’ll learn exactly how you’ll be able to save money to spend without the guilt.

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Debt consolidation: How does it work and is it right for you? is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Surety Bond Brokers? Business https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/debt-consolidation/

[lisinfleur]

T&T - Chapter 12: Clouds of War

Author’s Notes | An unexpected visitor. Some old past memories that come back to say hello… Words | 4794 ⁑ Warnings: None

The kingdom celebrated a whole week for their king's new heir. But now, it was time to put aside the happiness for his son and the mourn for his friend and start talking about the true plans he had to do from that moment on.

The Earls stayed longer as Ivar asked them to do and so, past the feasts, he reunited them all at the map room, looking at them from the headboard of the table.

"As you all know, this is not my birthland. I came from far, pass the seas, along with my father's name some of you had the chance to know," Ivar started, showing the seas near the edge of the map where he would ask the carpenters to carve a continuation for that beautiful wooden table, attaching Kattegat as a part of it. "And my birthlands were taken from me by treason. However, my people still suffer in the hands of the bastards who stole what was mine and my brothers showed no intention to fight for the lands they abandoned since they weren't strong enough to beat me for the crown. My older brothers are dead or spread and I'm sending spies towards the places I think they may be to have eyes in their intentions, but such as your people once needed, my people need to be rescued."

"You're speaking of war," one of the earls said, putting the words at the table openly.

"I speak of justice," Ivar corrected, looking at him. "But I do not intend to take with me the whole army I have in my hands here. Brynjar gave me his lands and I intend to keep them self-sustainable and peaceful. However, recovering Kattegat and Vestfold  - the neighbor kingdom also hijacked from its probably deceased king - I could establish rentable merchant routes for our goods and bring richness to our lands and supplies to my people. The ones of my kind were already raiding towards Wessex and the East Anglia for fertile lands. Brynjar gave me lands and I know some of your earldoms have idle lots that could shelter families from Kattegat and Vestfold who could make them productive, increasing your taxes and bringing progress to our lands. The same goes for the seas around Vestfold, full of whales that could provide us with oil and meat, along with the fishes that are on those waters. And Kattegat is a popular trading center in the Northern Territory. People from all kingdoms come to sell and buy from Kattegat's merchant and docks. To make our goods flow into this market would increase our gains and set stability to our sustainability, granting our people would have what they need in case of scarcity or any natural cataclysm. We don't know the gods' humor, my friend. Today they smile at us. Tomorrow, they spit on our heads and piss on our fields, and then we must have enough gold and silver to feed our people and avoid the disorder hunger and despair may bring into any kingdom."

Ivar's wisdom was admired among the earls inside that room. None of them could deny the king's ideas were for the better life of their people and earldoms. He wasn't thinking only about his birthlands or kindred, but taking their lands and their people as his own and it was something more to take the earls trust towards his word.

"And what are your intentions, my king?" a second voice was raised inside the room. "How will we retrieve these places?"

Ivar sighed.

"Our enemies aren't little. The Rus are expanding territories with huge armies and iron fists. They're not weak and must be taken seriously. My hugest mistake was to believe I was undefeatable the last time I faced them and it caused my doom. This time, I won't fall for the same mistake," Ivar said, pulling from his bag a piece of leather with a map marked on it, spreading it over the table so the earls could see what he was talking about. "Today I'm sending spies towards the kingdoms of Vestfold, Kattegat, Ringerike, and towards the old Wessex to watch over my people, study the territories and get me information about the situation of the lands and the numbers of their armies. Also, about my brothers' evolution since I left the crown and what did they do towards our homelands. If I have to ally to one or more of them to get our lands back, then maybe I'll think about speaking to them and putting our differences aside. East Anglia is also a vast kingdom along with Wessex and Ringerike has some goods that might be interesting to our people. Thinking of the bigger good, I think I can put my pride aside and see if my brothers are able to do the same. However, if there is no interest in them towards our homelands, I'll take it as a clear message of their contempt and I shall count on you only, my friends, to prepare your men, your weapons, and your boats. I'll count six moons from today's reunion and we shall reunite once again. Take this time to prepare for war cause when the time comes for us to reunite, I intend to have a proper plan and set sails towards Kattegat and Vestfold to retake my father's lands and put the Rus back on their places: as fertilizer to our new fields!"

Inspiring words for a bunch of men like Ivar inside that room: bored of peace, in seek of some adventure.

But not for all of them.

"What about the ones who don't want any more war, my king?" a third voice was raised.

Followed by some lower voices in agreement.

Ivar sighed. He was expecting for those who would feel threatened by the ghost of a new war.

"I understand some of you don't want the war to reach your earldoms once again and so I count on you to keep our kingdom working prosper and prepared to receive the wounded and victorious when the time comes," Ivar settled, surprising the earls around him.

"No punishment?" the owner of the third voice stepped forward - an older earl, probably coming from the earldoms in that kingdom that once belonged to the enemies of King Brynjar. "No man will be punished if it doesn't want to fight?"

Ivar walked forward towards that man, placing his hand over the earl's shoulder. His blues inside that man's eyes.

"Life is not made of wars, my friend. There are those who were born to fight and those who were born to farm. The fighter needs the farmer to feed him, to care for its legacy and its children when he's out in raid. The farmer needs the fighter to protect his lands, to bring the gold and silver that will improve his equipment and buy his seeds. Why would I punish the ones who will keep our barns full so when we come back, there is food for us all? Why would I punish the ones who will hunt and farm, clean, and cook the broths and food that will make our wounded strong and feed our children when we're not around? The hands that will keep our children alive if the gods claim our lives and the good fight come for us?"

The earls were looking at each other. Satisfied and curious eyes looking at their new king. Attentive ears hearing Ivar's words as his voice kept echoing inside that room.

"There are plenty of warriors in all of our earldoms bored of peace and thirsty for blood and battles. Plenty of young men, strong and hopeful to reach Valhalla or write their stories and names with the blood of our enemies. But what are we fighting for if not for the ones who cannot follow us in battle? Whether because their families need them, or because their knowledge is unique and they must live to pass it on, or because their arms are needed to seed the soil. Winter will come for all of us whether we go to battle or not. Some will stay to prepare us for this. Some will stay along with my wife who shall rule over you while I'm not. She shall keep this place working along with Atli and some men I'll let behind to keep our kingdom safe until we come back. And I expect some of my earls to stay back as well, after all, the ones who will follow me towards the battlefield will need someone to rule over their lands and keep their people cared while their hands are too occupied with the swords to reach out for them. Don't worry, my friend," Ivar patted the old man's shoulder with a smile. "I know we all have our value."

"Hail, king Ivar!" the man said, closing one of his fists to hit his chest in a salutation of respect Ivar answered with a smile and a small bow of his head.

"My word is given: six moons from now we shall meet again. And I may have a plan for you such as I need you to come to me with our real numbers ready so I can divide our armies and settle who shall stay and who shall come with me. Now we shall share one last feast before you can go back to your homes. There is too much to be done and we have no time to lose anymore."

The new word spread like a wildfire speaking about how wise was the new king, how close to Brynjar Ivar was, and how safe their kingdom was now. And it attracted the men and young men, willing to fight for Ivar's name, under his flag. Many started training with the armies and Ivar sent the spies as he said he would, asking them to come back in four moons so he would have the information and two moons to elaborate a plan. He also ordered the carpenters to prepare the new table, offering his own map so they could carve the extensions of the map adding the whole Mercia, East Anglia, and Wessex to one side of the map; Kattegat, Ringerike, and Vestfold to the other.

Each step was prepared with his major dedication and each night was spent spoiling his family, enjoying Vali and Iliana's company as Ivar could see his son growing day by day.

"... and like this! It's done, Ivar, you did it!" Iliana's voice sounded happy after Ivar finally managed to change the boy's clothes, lifting their baby up with a smile.

"Yes! You see, little one, dada found a way to close these cordons of yours!" Ivar joked, smiling as the baby curled its toothless mouth in a smile for him. "Yeah, dada is the best, I know."

"Dada is the best," Iliana repeated, caressing Ivar's shoulder and kissing it as Ivar leaned the baby against his chest, nestling the little one and smiling at her.

But she was looking tired and Ivar's smile diminished.

"What is it bothering your mind, my queen?"

Iliana sighed, touching her forehead on his shoulder and Ivar then placed little Vali on its basket, bringing the baby closer to their bed and laying with Iliana who nestled against his chest. One of her hands on the basket caressing the baby's belly as she was speaking; her voice sounding full of concern.

"The war to come, my love," she answered, feeling Ivar's warm hand sliding through her hair, caressing her face gently. "The idea of having you away from me is scary. We don't leave each other in years, but I know I would have no use in a battlefield but weight your heart and distract your attention. Yet, it makes me worried."

Ivar gently leaned his face forward, cupping Iliana's face and softly kissing her lips and then, touching their foreheads. His eyes deeply dove into hers.

"Calm your heart, my love," he mumbled, nuzzling his nose to hers slowly. "I'll come back to you, my queen. I'll have you and our beloved Vali in my mind every single day. And when the time comes, our reunion shall be full of victory, happiness, and love."

Iliana closed her eyes, enjoying his caresses, breathing in the smell of his skin, ordering her senses to memorize it so she would have him by her side when the time has come for him to leave. Her hands caressed his chest and she came closer, mumbling against his mouth.

"I'll be waiting for you, my love. I'll count the days and rush the nights to have you in my arms once again."

The moons passed and soon, Ivar's hall was once again full of his earls. All of them came, despite the fact that some of them would stay behind to help Iliana conducting the kingdom in Ivar's absence.

Alongside them, men from all parts of Ivar's kingdom, with boats and weapons. Warriors, all ready to fight for their king.

"I see you all fulfilled your part: a huge army is reunited near our docks, preparing the departure for our conquers to come. And I thank you all: no earl refrained from training warriors for this endeavor, which shows me Brynjar and I chose our earls pretty well. My fights are your fights, so your fights shall be mine. All earls in this room shall come back to their earldoms with at least one-fifth of the men they brought, for their personal safety and to keep our territory safe from opportunists and raiders that come to attack in my absence. I also want at least one-third of my earls going back home after our departure, so we can fairly divide the earldoms without a command to be properly ruled and maintained during the absence of their commanders."

The earls showed themselves satisfied: as a foreigner king, Ivar was showing their people was also his people and embracing their lands as his own and it was creating more engagement of the earls who were feeling their king wouldn't abandon their homelands to their own luck in order to rescue his own homeland from his enemies.

Ivar moved his hand, asking for the silence that was soon established among the earls once again.

"I've received the spies I sent two moons ago. They came with bad and good news," Ivar sighed, looking at his earls. "The bad news is that the Rus are bigger than before. Almost the whole of Norway is taken by their armies and Kattegat and Vestfold aren't the only kingdoms affected anymore. They spread all over the Norwegian territory and it forced many of mine to move, fleeing from their power; or into slavery and forced conversion to their god."

The earls looked at each other, some with anger in their eyes, imagining what was happening in Ivar's homelands happening in their own lands, how terrible it would be.

"The good news is that some of the original kingdoms are still resisting and sheltering my people, thickening their own armies with the men who come thirsty for vengeance over their dead relatives and destroyed villages. And along with these kingdoms, Ringerike figures with my brother Hvitserk playing a big hole as one of the most visible pillars of this resistance. We weren't able to find anything about Ubbe but the fact he left towards Iceland years ago. But Hvitserk and I already fought together once. It is possible that we'll be able to count on his support since we're now facing a common enemy. A moon ago, I sent a messenger towards Ringerike..."

"And he reached me, Ivar."

The earls opened a corridor that allowed Ivar to see the figure standing at his doorway, looking straight at him. On top of is middle-thirty years, definitely older, and with some new scars, Hvitserk had answered Ivar's call, but instead of sending a messenger back, he returned along with the one Ivar had sent.

"So, it is true," Hvitserk started, walking into Ivar's hall, approaching through the corridor of stunned earls mumbling at each other, surprised. "You're alive... And, as I can see, pretty well."

"Not as much as I could be, Hvitserk," Ivar said, coming down from his throne to stand in front of his brother.

Blues facing each other causing Ragnar's name to start floating at the whispers of the earls speaking of that moment with each other, touched by the heavy aura of the two figures standing in front of them. Some into Ivar's court knew Hvitserk's name, some knew who they were, and had heard about their war; and were now spreading the words about the legends facing each other in the middle of that hall.

"I should punch your face for daring to message me after everything we passed through," Hvitserk grunted, taking a deep breath. "But at the same time, who am I to speak? Our family is sundered and split apart and I believe I'll never see Ubbe one more time. Björn is dead, along with mother, father, and Lagertha. And there is a bastard swallowing everything he can touch, with his armies on the edge of my kingdom Olaf trusted me to care with his last breath."

Hvitserk slid his hand on his face, straightening the scarce beard he had earned with the years, looking at Ivar once again, still keeping himself rough.

"I hated you for too long. For what you did to Thora, to our people... But I've heard what you went through, Ivar. I've heard how that bastard threw you out of our town with nothing but your clothes to drag yourself on the mud and for years I thought you were dead somewhere in Norway, drowned in a mud pool in some piece of land forgotten by the gods. I can see I was wrong. You're here. And the gods gave you a second chance. They lifted you up and if they did it it's because you gave them some proof you deserved their eyes on you one more time."

Hvitserk crossed his arms as Ivar was listening to every word, silent. Something he wasn't used to seeing his little brother doing - at this point, after everything he said, the Ivar he knew would have countered him already; would be yelling about how wrong he was or something about how everything was Lagertha's fault and not his own. Ivar was completely silent and maybe it was a sign that he was right in his thinking.

"Somehow the gods always pull me towards you. If they think you're worth a second chance... Then I'll follow their lead, as I always did." Hvitserk said, his voice sounding less tense, yet firm and decided. "Prove them right and we can maybe forget the past and stand as allies, cooperate with each other to make our people more prosperous. Prove them wrong and I'll take this as a chance the gods are giving me to avenge my elder brother's and former companion's lives and I'll send you to Valhalla to pay your debts with the ones from our family you sent there first. Am I clear?"

Ivar kept himself tranquil when he nodded, surprising Hvitserk with his complete silence in front of everything that was said about his past actions. He wasn't that boy anymore - and it figured out in both of their minds when Hvitserk extended his hand to firmly shake Ivar's. Life had molded him and there was no space for the egocentric boy of years ago who would have spent lots of time explaining dozens of reasons why nothing that happened was his fault. It was. Hvitserk knew it, but more than that, Ivar knew his own parcel of guilt and was open to recognizing his own mistakes - he wouldn't be able to rebuild his life if he was still trying to clean the old ruins of the past.

"The plans for tonight are changed," Ivar said, calling the Earls' attention now that their king was speaking to them again. "A new piece was introduced to the board and I must take this into consideration before we can determine our plans to deal with the Rus.  Get back to your accommodations and tonight we'll feast and celebrate the new ally we received in our hall. I shall confabulate with my brother and based on what he'll bring to my table, I shall reunite with you all tomorrow for a definitive plan."

None disagreed: Hvitserk was surely deeply sunk in the battle against the Rus since the beginning and his knowledge could change the winds in their favor. It was wise to be patient, even thou the excess of time lost could cost more lands to be recovered.

Dismissed, the earls started leaving the hall and the silence was made when just the pair of brothers was standing in the empty room.

"Come," Ivar said, inviting Hvitserk in. "Let us eat and share the mead so we can speak and you can rest. It was surely a long trip and, as long as I remember, not a good one."

"You sound different," Hvitserk said, following his brother through the corridors of his castle, looking around, curious about that unknown lands his brother was ruling now.

"When you rise and fall from a high place, it is not easy to remain the same, brother," Ivar answered, conducting Hvitserk into his dining room, taking a seat at the big wooden table and ordering the servants to serve them some food and mead.

Hvitserk took off his heavy cloak, placing it on the chair beside him, taking a seat near the headboard where Ivar was sitting. His eyes were still looking around, repairing at the different decoration of that place. To be honest, he wasn't expecting such a common hall, but the flags and egocentric environment he could remember every hall Ivar had ruled was filled with.

"It didn't come from my own effort," Ivar admitted, observing Hvitserk was looking around probably curious about everything he was seeing. "It belonged to a dear friend who left us recently and decided to trust me as his successor."

"I can see," Hvitserk said, accepting the cup of mead one of the servants offered him, smelling the drink before sipping from it, appreciating the warm sensation the beverage brought into his body. "You're more egocentric since I can remember. This place reverberates tranquility - not something I'm used to having around you."

He was still harsh. Who could blame him? Ivar kept the tranquil expression one more time surprising his older brother: Hvitserk wasn't used to having Ivar so passive to words said that directly way towards his face.

"My egocentrism cost me dear and got me blind. People change, Hvitserk. You changed," Ivar said, gesticulating to indirectly point Hvitserk's face and its new scars.

"It's all in a day's work," Hvitserk sighed, touching the mark on the right side of his face: an arrow scar in his cheek prolonged by a blade through the whole side of his face denouncing some kind of torture suffered along the years. "We can't win all the battles and sometimes not everyone knows who we are. They wanted to know more about the new king Hvitserk Ragnarsson..."

Hvitserk giggled, remembering how idiot it was to have his face opened by a pair of dumbasses asking him about himself as if he was some kind of higher figure away from that place.

Ivar smirked.

"I get you," he said, sipping from his own cup as the servants served some pork ribs and herb bread, spreading the food slowly in between the brothers. "Sometimes they don't know who you are. Sometimes they know exactly what they're facing..." Ivar sighed, touching his chest and remembering the cause of the new scars he had earned.

Hvitserk didn't refuse the food - he was hungry and tired and to be honest, he didn't really believe Ivar would poison him or some shit like that: if Ivar wanted him dead, he would have done it years ago. So, the older brother allowed himself to enjoy the fresh meat and bread that was being offered, starting to fill his empty belly with something more than the dried meat that had filled his stomach through the whole last week.

"I've heard the Rus have a prize for our heads. I mean, I thought it was for mine only, since Ubbe is far away from being touched and I thought you were dead but it probably extends to your head as well if they know you're alive." he started.

"My spies weren't able to reach Ubbe, but his settlement is quite strong in East Anglia. As long as I know, it's being ruled by the two remaining Dane kings he left behind when he went to Iceland. These are the last information I had from him."

"He went away through the sea along with some men who spoke about golden lands he wants to find. That's all I know as well. We lost communication after he decided to leave and I'm not quite leaned to search for someone who seems to be avoiding me since I jumped that boat so... May the gods be with him." Hvitserk sentenced, licking his fingers.

However, his eyes stopped at the door when it got open for someone more than a servant to come in.

"My king, the queen wants to..." the servant started, but Ivar smiled.

"Tell her to come in," he said, almost as a sign that it was safe for Iliana to come into Hvitserk's presence.

Hvitserk followed, quiet, as a woman came with a package in her hands, approaching Ivar who received the package slowly nestling it against his chest. The woman looked at him with curiosity and Ivar observed as Hvitserk's eyebrow got lifted in a visible frown of curiosity.

"You may excuse me, brother, but sometimes, Vali doesn't sleep without me," Ivar said, nestling the restless child that seemed to become tranquil with his presence around. "These are Iliana and Vali. My wife and son."

Iliana bowed, respectfully, as Hvitserk cleaned his hands on his clothes to get up, coming closer to look at them better. A beautiful woman, fully different from that blonde cockatoo Ivar had by his side before: there wasn't arrogance in her eyes and even being a queen, Hvitserk could see respect and humbleness inside those black orbs. From his brother's arms, on the other hand, icy blues were facing him, curious about the new face never seen around. Hvitserk giggled.

It was like seeing baby Ivar once again, without the painful frown or the twisted legs.

"You definitely proved us wrong," Hvitserk smiled. "Bless the gods, your child is beautiful like its mother, Ivar. But not more than my twins."

A joke. Illiana couldn't avoid a gentle smile. She could remember how bitter Ivar was about the separation of his family and how he spoke many times about how good it would be if they had never fought each other. He couldn't have all of them around, but by the smile in Hvitserk's face, maybe he could have at least that one he nominated so many times in their conversation as his favorite...

"So, you have children as well..." Ivar said as Hvitserk allowed Vali to play with his fingers.

"A pair of twins and a little girl. Hagen, Hakon, and Hillevi. All hidden with my wife Frigga at the safest places of my kingdom," Hvitserk sighed. "I miss them. My Hillevi is not older than your son."

The baby had fallen asleep in Ivar's arms. Gently, he passed Vali to Iliana's arms and Hvitserk watched with tenderness as the boy nestled to his mother's breasts, sighing safely. His heart was really missing his family he fought so hard to build. Ivar's eyes landed on his once again.

"Then we shall speak about war, my brother, so we can bring back peace sooner, and with the peace, we can bring our queens and children back into our arms. Iliana will stay along with my son and I'll taste the pain I can see in your eyes for a while. Let us sit and plan to make this while as short as we can."

Hvitserk nodded. His presence caused Iliana to feel safer about Ivar's words. He wouldn't be alone before, but somehow, having a second son of Ragnar Loðbrók coming back into their lives to fight alongside her husband was making Iliana surer that victory over the Rus was the gods' will for Ivar's life.

Yet, she was sure she would watch their departure with fear and pray every day for their safe return.

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[caithyra]

Full Circle: Almost An Arthur

One of the reasons why I believe Mad Queen Dany divided fandom so badly is because, well, ASOIAF has often been touted as the Fantasy that is either realistic or unlike other Fantasies.

Unfortunately, it looped back on its head until it wasn’t what was advertised.

I mean, lets talk about this Destined Heir who is growing up from humble beginnings after being displaced from the Throne. Little Arthur Pendragon is little more than a squire for a knight’s son, but then it is revealed that Estel is in reality Aragorn, descendant of the great kings of old! There is a even a prophecy that decrees that when the End comes to the world, Belgarion will be there and stop it! So it was a great day of hope when Dany rose from the ashes with dragons on her shoulders!

Except... There this lady, a woman, high-ranked, a queen who got a bit too much power, and we know these hysterical wimmens and Mad/Evil Queens are just sooo original that this story has at least two heavily featured ones and possibly more by the time this series ends!

Move over Menzoberranzan and make way for Meereen!

And then Alistair (bastard and only known surviving son of the previous king’s father) grew pissy because I wouldn’t kill Loghain in front of his daughter, the queen, and took the throne from Queen Anora (that ambitious btch according to fandom, who happen to have been the widow of the deceased king, oh and that king was about to set her aside to marry the Empress of Orlais, more on her empire later, that the grandking freed the kingdom from after a... shall we say, bad occupation in which Loghain’s mother AND dog were literally rped to death because taxes by Orlesian knights?) and ten years later sends messages in which he’s so incompetent his scribes make fun of him yet the kingdom is still running fine. Also, to receive your knighthood in the Orlesian Empire you have to go to the ghettos where the elven jewish equivalents live and kill random elves! And that’s just the surface of this empire ruled by a queen/empress (oh, and the great-grandqueen who started the rebellion to free the kingdom died before it was free, just to make sure there’s no counterpoint Good Queen in Thedas).

Well, I think you all might notice a pattern in popular Fantasy, now, right? Like, Male Destined Heir/Patriarchy=Good; Queens/Empresses/Matriarchies=Bad/Mad and/or incompetent?

And here we have a main female character, “rightful” heir to the Throne of Westeros who Brings Magic Back and all that, and taking into account the whole “Not Like Other Fantasy Series” (”Not Like Other Strong Female Characters”... “Not Like Other Girls”?), and I can totally see why Dany fans cannot believe that she’s meant to go Mad/Evil Queen. Especially with Queen Cersei Lannister having been born a monster worse than Scylla and Carybdis at birth.

The thing is, GRRM/D&D weren’t just content doing Destined Heir with a Twist just by making her female.

They wanted to deconstruct the Destined Heir trope.

Slavery, Colonialism, and you name it. They threw it at this trope to deconstruct it, completely blind to how, simply by making the Heir a woman they were looping back onto another, overly worn, overly annoying, overly prevalent Fantasy trope. Is it really any wonder that a lot of viewers/readers rebelled against this idea?

“Off with their heads!Dracarys!” - The Queen of HeartsDaenerys Targaryen

And then there are those who believe that yes, Dany will turn mad, just not as in the show, and, well, I agree with them. And it is also kinda obvious that with Aegon Targaryen (whether he is the real deal or not) will change a lot of things by virtue of not being Jon Snow.

I could go into my fan theory that Aegon is the Real Deal. That he will bond with Rhaegal. That he will marry Arianne Martell. That Dany will try to force him to marry her instead. That Aegon wont abandon his wife (or take a second one like Aegon the Conqueror) like Rhaegar abandoned Elia Martell. That Dany will believe that history will repeat itself (she believes that if Rhaegar married her instead, she would have been able to keep him in her bed unlike Elia) and kills them in a fury.

Killing her nephew unhinges her, but killing Rhaegal’s rider causes him to abandon her and be vulnerable and ensnared by the Greyjoys’ Dragon Horn unhinges her even more, and so on... But basically, no one will be under any illusions about her sanity or suitability long before she gets near the Iron Throne.

And I could go on, but that’s just a fan theory. My point is that things would go waaay different than in the show, and yeah, with how the books are right now, it can’t really go in the direction of the show even if characters end up “more or less” the same (according GRRM).

There are those who thinks it will go the same, but it really can’t with Aegon not being Jon (unless that’s how Jon will be rezzed, by warging his half-brother, but then again, my theory is that rezzed Jon is a fire-wight with his memories, much like Beric and Stoneheart, and the real Jon will forever be inside Ghost, thus turning Jon’s Ghost into Jon’s ghost, lol, gotta stop fan theorizing), and with the Greyjoys’ story being so different.

The point is that whatever your view point, it is pretty gosh darn annoying that when we for once get a female Arthur Pendragon in a mainstream series, they turn her into a colonialist, slave-owning, pyromaniac Mad Queen.

Like, we have a whole bunch of Mad Queens (or potential Mad Queens)! We even have Cersei Lannister for the Unrealistically-Proportioned-Castles-and-Wall’s sake!

“[...]of course you get into Sansa being jealous of Dany[...]” - David Nutter, Director of Game of Thrones

“[...]Then the Queen was shocked, and turned yellow and green with envy.[...]She called a [ranger], and said, "Take the [Dragon Queen] away into the [Godswood...erm, Red Keep]; I will no longer have her in my sight. Kill her, and bring me back her heart as a token."[...]” - Little Snow-White, a fairy-tale

Yeah... So... Yeah... Here we are?

Anyway, this wasn’t a defense or an attack of Dany (or any other character). It’s just one of the many times I notice how, in an effort to deconstruct a trope, the authors ended up rewriting a much more tired and offensive one instead. Essentially looping in a full circle back to being trite.

[abuserfriendly]

Don't Buy the Airline Industry's Snow Job on Inflight Hygiene

I love travel and unlike some railfans I am not usually given to slagging on the airlines. Nevertheless, I do think the airline industry (especially in the USA) has lots of rage-inducing practices and I have always resented the industry's insistence that treating passengers well is diametrically at odds with controlling costs- that has always been a false dichotomy in my opinion- and I am especially disappointed with the ongoing degradation of the front-cabin (business and first class) experience. Now covid19 is crushing passenger airlines, and this supposedly "profitable" industry has shoveled up $25 billion taxpayer dollars, roughly 25 years' worth of Federal Amtrak subsidies, with every indication that they will ask for more in short order. Meanwhile, the very business model of airlines as they have operated to date is now in question and the  industry refuses to address the questions. To be clear, I am not referring to the temporary problem of lack of demand due to economic conditions and travel restrictions: I am talking about the business model predicated on packing people into a tiny space that is irritant and uncomfortable for many hours without basic provisions for health or sanitation. Taxpayers are owed more than what this industry is offering in the way of a get-well plan before they throw good money after bad.

Let's get something straight: social distancing is and always will be impossible on an airliner, except maybe if you are the only passenger or one of a very small handful of passengers on a widebody jet. That's not where the industry's unaddressed existential threat lies though. The airlines are now hard at work reminding everyone about how the "hospital grade" air filtration on their planes is keeping air travel safe. They will tout that most (in other words: not all) modern airliners are equipped with HEPA air filtration. Well, congratulations! You're employing the same air filtration technology I can get in a 12-pack of filters for the furnace in my basement for an average extra cost of about $1.50 per. Despite the fact that these filters are cheap commodities, I still wonder if the maximum recommended replacement interval is being observed in the same industry that can't bring itself to properly maintain their fleets overall. Moreover, all the talk about the air purification systems on mainline jets like Boeing 737s is in plain denial of the fact that at least half of passengers end up spending part if not all of their journey on a regional jet. I wonder why they aren't talking about the air filtration systems on Canadair CRJ-200s or Embraer 145s? Could it be that planes that barely have enough space for each passenger's overnight bag don't have much of an air purification system?

Air filtration aside, the reality of air travel and health is that it is not the cleanliness of the air that endangers your health during a respiratory pandemic. The problem is the dryness of the air. On average, the relative humidity in a modern airliner cabin is a parched 12% and it is almost always less than 20%, lower than the 30% threshold for discomfort for humans. Dry air irritates pretty much all types of human tissue including the skin, the lungs, and the sinus passages. This causes postnasal drip, coughing and sneezing. The air inside planes is so dry that it will cause many people to sniffle, cough, and sneeze even if they aren't sick, and if your skin is dried out and itchy, you're going to touch it. This is why people get sick when they fly: in addition to being in a very tight space with a bunch of strangers for several hours, you and your fellow passengers are coughing and sneezing and scratching in that tight space. Fomites and moisture droplets are getting sprayed everywhere constantly: the seats, the carpets, the tray tables, the armrests, the seat belts- not just the things you think you can avoid touching. Even worse, there are plenty of substances for those droplets and particles to cling to: many is the time I've sat at a window seat to be grossed out by the greasy haze left by a previous passenger who slept with their head against the window and thought to myself what kind of petri dish must the interior panels on this aircraft be? Whatever gets drawn into the HEPA filters is going to be trapped there, but I think its a safe bet that most of the particles and droplets stay anchored to whatever surface they land on.

There is an urban legend that airlines routinely dial down the amount of fresh air that is drawn into cabins to save fuel and this has been debunked- the ratio of fresh to recirculated air on a plane is basically factory-set and cannot be adjusted inflight and there is rarely any prescribed reason for ground mechanical personnel to change it either- slow-onset hypoxia will kill a person before they realize what is happening, so this is a bit more serious than saving a few bucks on fuel. The moisture content of cabin air, on the other hand, is something that can be altered. Airlines are so loath to do anything about it due to the cost of retrofitting humidification systems to planes as well as the cost in fuel and space of hauling a tank of heavy water aloft that it isn't even being considered in the realm of possibility. Picture that tiny 50-seat Canadair CRJ-200 once again, which on a good day gives you about as much personal space as you might have in the back seat of a fully loaded car, and ask yourself where and how we might retrofit this aircraft for improved cabin air quality. The answer is simple: the days of traveling like this are over. Planes like the CRJ-200 are flying bio-exposure labs- you won’t share more of your fellow passengers’ bodily materials without having a one-night stand with each of them.

Beyond misleading people about irrelevant cabin air quality, what are the airlines going to do to keep passengers safe? They will block off the middle seats on planes, but this accomplishes exactly nothing except to make passengers a little more comfortable (and to this extent I applaud it). They will make you wear a mask- and this is a good thing, but only until you take that mask off to have a drink or eat something, which you are welcome to try to avoid doing on an 8-10 hour flight. Despite this reality, I fully expect anyone who isn’t able to abstain from eating or drinking for the duration of the flight to be cuffed and stuffed upon arrival. They might end up blood testing passengers or requiring health documentation to fly, and frankly, these seemingly drastic measures might be the only hope for air travel. Expect the cost of the test or certifying yourself to be a new ticket tax, because, well its not like you gave them $25 billion or anything like that, right? If you are expecting things like planes getting sanitized between flights or even cheap yet thoughtful things like a personal bottle of sanitizer and a mask at your seat so that even people who have been unexpectedly separated from their luggage have the appropriate supplies, forget about it: they can't even figure out how to afford to give you three ounces of peanuts. Rest assured that despite whatever risk their practices introduce for you, the airlines intend to make you fully responsible for any bit of nastiness you might be exposed to on board.

I am not a germophobe and I accept reality: I am not going to say that you should hop on a train for your next hygienic travel experience. Are you more socially distanced in a sleeping car compartment than on an airliner? Yes, but only somewhat, and if you're traveling in coach its basically the same as flying from that perspective. Obviously, the safest way for most people to travel intercity during a pandemic is via automobile, as long as you are careful and have the right supplies (having your own car makes this much easier though). Unfortunately, you're not going to be able to hop in the family truckster for a trip from Miami to London. I haven't been able to find any information on the moisture content of passenger train air either, but I am pretty sure its very different from an airliner since railroad car ventilation systems are not subject to the same mechanical constraints. I have personal experience to back this up: I have spent weeks crisscrossing North America and Europe on trains and have never experienced such a thing as an "Amtrak cold" or an "Amtrak flu." Considering the challenges associated with maintaining cleanliness on a train making a fifty hour journey, that says a lot. As far as cleaning supplies or masks go, well, people who take Amtrak cross country have been bringing family-size spray cans of Lysol on board since the 1980s- nobody with experience would leave home without one.

[spnfanficpond]

September 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting with @manawhaat today! Thank you so much for joining us, even though you were busy!!

Today, a bunch of us got together and talked about inspiration and writer’s block! We all had good ideas that were discussed! A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut!

To start us off, Mana shared a link to this ask that was recently presented to the Pond. The question was that a professor said that there was no such thing as a muse or writer’s block. The answers given by some of our Big Fish are terrific! All seem to agree that the ideas of a muse and writer’s block are valid, no matter what you call them. Digging beneath the surface to ask what is causing the writer’s block or the inspiration can help to get you past what’s stopping you and get you writing, again.

@mrswhozeewhatsis (Michelle)shared a link to a tweet by Robbie Thompson. She had asked him for tips on getting inspired or getting past blocks when the words just don’t want to flow. He responded by saying, “write from emotion: what scares you, angers you, etc. and make writing a habit. sit down once a day, same time if you can & just get to work. got nothing? write until it comes. inspiration is great but not always reliable.”

When looking for ideas from other famously prolific writers, this post from Neil Gaiman came up. In it, Mr. Gaiman says that blaming writer’s block gives you something to blame, but it’s usually a combination of laziness, perfectionism and getting stuck. He goes on to encourage writers to not accept writer’s block as a insurmountable thing and figure out the cause so you can get past it.

@mostly-shawn (Maayan): My professor's take on writer's block is that writer's block doesn't exist because there's no such thing as "not knowing". What we call "writer's block" is simply being distracted by other things like shopping lists and to-do lists and everything else, so in order to overcome "writer's block" you just need to sit and write everything that's in your head and clear out your brain space to allow yourself access to the idea. And in terms of muse, she doesn't believe in muse because no work is perfect on the first draft and because it's not perfect, you can't have had a muse.

If anyone wants to read her book it's called "To Tell The Truth" and it's about how to write creative nonfiction. Obviously, that's not what we're all in the business of, but it's a good read for all genres.

Everyone seemed to agree that this professor has a strange view on muse, but she’s got a point about writer’s block. A muse can be anything that inspires you to write, and nothing anyone ever writes is perfect right out of the gate, so her perfection theory makes no sense to us. Mana disagreed with part of her thoughts on writer’s block, though.

Mana: I think she has a point of clearing your head in order to get into your 'writing groove' but insisting that there isn't such a thing as 'not knowing' sounds ridiculous to me, specifically, a person who has not known what she wanted to do with a certain rpf fic for over 4 years.

@katehuntington mentioned that sometimes she feels like she knows exactly what she wants to write, but when she sits down, the words just won’t come. She can’t get them down. Michelle said her Fibromyalgia sometimes causes similar cognitive difficulties. The words just aren’t there. (If anyone has read Rob Benedict’s chapter in Family Don’t End With Blood, the feeling is described there beautifully.) 

Michelle: Physical and mental issues can definitely affect creativity. When you're struggling to do the basic activities of daily living, creativity is not your body's priority.

Q: So, what do you guys do when you hit a block?

Kate: Accept it. LOL. I take a lot of inspiration out of what I've written already, if that makes sense. I revisit stories, go over what made those work. And I read back on the feedback I had from readers too. Those can be super inspiring.

Maayan: Yeah, I basically just say "alrighty then" and continue on with my life and push the work as far out of my head as possible.

Mana: Write some flaming garbage. (Michelle added, “Crap makes good compost.”) I get through as much as I can, plot wise. if I'm stuck between point b and c, but know where I'm going from point d to e then I just put down anything I might want to happen between point b and c and then move on. There is no rule that says writing needs to happen in a linear form so if I get stuck, I move on.

Michelle: I once heard Robbie Thompson talk about writing at a seminar, and he said that if he's really stuck, he'll take a walk, get outside, get some fresh air, clear his head. Just change his scenery, really. Did you know that when you move from one room to another, your brain kind of ties off the thought you had in the first room and opens up another thread in the second room? It's why so many people arrive in a room and then forget why they're there. (This is why carrying something from one room to the next can help you remember why you're in that second room.) Sometimes, that's what you need. Make your brain jump out of the rut it was in. Write in a different room, on a different medium (paper instead of tablet, tablet instead of computer, etc)

Mana: I haven't tried writing on a different medium, unless you count someone else's computer instead of your own, but the change of scenery does help. listening to different music instead of your usual tunes helps. 

Maayan: I think better when I pace so when if I'm trying to figure out a storyline I pace, but when I have the storyline but I can't make my fingers do the word thing on the magical typing box I'm just stuck for good usually. (A suggestion was made that she could try speech-to-text software to help her get past that!) Mana records voice notes to her phone to be transcribed later.

Kate and Michelle both said that having ideas isn’t the problem for them, most of the time. The problem is usually having the focus to sit down and translate them to paper.

Mana: Watching a movie you know well enough to tune in and out of is a big one for me. Literally any time I NEED to do something in my life, I put on Pride and Prejudice bc I know the film so well and love the score, but it's my ultimate focus movie. I can tune out and write or file taxes or whatever the fuck and tune back in for him to hold her hand helping her in the carriage and then tune back out and repeat this process while the movie plays 6 times in a row.

Michelle: I can't have anything else playing. No music, no TV, no nothing. However, I've discovered that a lava lamp does wonders! When we lived in our apartment in Chicago, I had a great view of the planes coming into O'Hare, and it was an east-facing view, so I saw the sunrise after a long night of writing so many times. My creativity dropped way down when we moved and I no longer had a view to stare at. So, I bought a glitter lava lamp. I love staring into that thing. And then I put up twinkling fairy lights over my desk. Something about that got me going, again. 

Maayan: I use my fish and snail as a lava lamp with the same effect.

Q: What do you do when you’re in the flow, and everything is going great, but you suddenly just stop? You know where you want to go, but you’re suddenly just stuck for no clear reason?

Michelle: I've discovered, and this may not be true for anyone else, but I've discovered that it usually means I've screwed up a little ways back. If I go back to where I last felt like everything was going well, and rethink everything I wrote since then, I've usually made a mistake in that section, and it needs to be rewritten. Whether I've made a character do something that's not in their character, or I've added something (or taken something away) that isn't right, whatever it is, it's in that section. If I just delete it and start writing from the previous good spot, I get going again.

Kate: Yeah. I've read somewhere that when you're stuck, you should go back at least 5 lines and start over. Put those lines away, pick it up again.

Mana: I think that's a big difference between us, Michelle. You can pinpoint a spot where things go awry and back up, cut off what isn't working and restart. I am a stubborn bitch so even if I see that something isn't really working, if I like it even the slightest bit, I refuse to get rid of it or change it. And those are the instances where I 'pick fights' with you and resist your input when you're beta reading for me. Am I the only one that does that? And if so, how are you all able to justify letting go of something that doesn't quite work but you've grown attached to?

Michelle: It’s perfectly okay to set bits aside and use them in other fics! Timestamps. Put it in another fic. Make it a one shot! I cut SO MUCH from Non-Trad, but I loved those parts SO MUCH, and that's how the Timestamps were born. They really didn't fit into the story well. They made it bloated. So I published them separately. Now, finding that I've gone off the rails entirely makes it easier for me to go back and get rid of something.

Q: Tips that we haven’t mentioned, yet?

Kate: Ask for help. Have a beta look it over, or whoever is interested and might be able to add to it.

Michelle: When looking for inspiration, always go back to the source material. It's not lazily, obsessively binge-watching the same show over and over, it's RESEARCH.

Mana: Someone asked what I do to get over it and I said: when I experience writer’s block or when the character I’m trying to write isn’t cooperating with me and I can’t get my brain to function I try to distract myself with something else or another character. Try watching an episode with your character in it, get a refreshed feel of how they move, talk, interact with other characters, draw from the episode or scenarios that you can fill in where the ep didn’t. Or, take ques from other characters, write about someone else for a bit so your mind has a break and time to sort itself out, then go back to what you were working on. 

Another way to get past it is to read other’s work. It may inspire you, make you realize that the story you wanted to tell this way can be told a different way, or give you the kick you need. 

My best answer to this: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

When the block hits and you have zero inspiration or motivation, write about anything and everything. Start reading and watching new things to see if it’ll spark something, check out Tumblr and users you don’t follow to get your eyes on some fresh content, write a dramatic scene of you sitting on the couch to hear the doorbell ring and let the suspense grow until you open it to find a pizza man there when you specifically did not order a pizza. Writing through it may spark something, and if not, my best suggestion would be to read. Read your old stuff and that of others, read a new book, read an article on how to beat writer’s block, read through the writer resources tag at the @spnfanficpond…

Mana also gifted us with these lovely links:

Writer’s block app that won’t let you do anything else until you’ve reached your goal.

A lovely gif beautifully encapsulating exactly how writer’s block feels.

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Challenge - Even though season 15 is just around the corner, these prompts will still always be open for you to use! Remember, there’s no deadline for submissions! Just tag the Pond and @mrswhozeewhatsis in your post!

Say hi to August’s New Members!

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We don’t have a topic or speaker set up for October’s event, yet, so if there’s something you want to talk about, or someone you want to talk to, LET US KNOW!

[gracesneddon]

Moving in the Right Circles: a few thoughts.

Hello, hi, good afternoon (or a very early good morning if you’re reading from home, I hope O Week is treating you well and you’re remembering to rehydrate). Last night, I went to the first in a series of seminars hosted by the Edinburgh Political Union and Common Weal at a cute little student bar down in the Old Town. Common Weal is a policy “think and do tank” based in Glasgow. Their Policy Head, Craig Dalzell, took us through the Resources and Trade chapter of their fully-costed Green New Deal for Scotland. I recently finished reading Novacene and have finally come to grips with the Gaia Theory... I think. In light of all this new info that I’m processing, and news that Bezos is injecting $10bn into the climate effort, I wanted to share a few thoughts...

A Circular Economy

Common Weal’s Green New Deal is so low-bullshit it’s made me run circles around my own brain trying to come up with a joke about lowering methane emissions (to no avail).  It reads that “...waste is really just a way of describing failures in resource use” in reference to the current linear economic model.

Met this dude in Sligachan!

The linear model can be described as such: procure resource ---> use it between 0 and 2 times ---> dispose of resource ---> repeat for infinite economic growth.The goal of a circular economy is to keep goods in circulation at the highest value possible. To do so, we need to considering redesigning, reusing, repairing and remanufacturing goods before we recycle them. If we could do that, we wouldn’t have to procure as many resources in the first place, nor waste as much in the end. Craig put recycling to the test last night too, discussing whether down-cycling (i.e. putting your Amazon cardboard box in the correct bin) should even be considered a success (it shouldn’t IMO). Side-cycling and up-cycling are still crucial to a circular economy, though.

***Cue thirst trap that also shows off thrifted jeans***

Ooh, and I found out that Edinburgh has tool libraries, which gives me the means to cause devastation in a public space as I make and fix things, as per my 2020 goal to learn more practical skills, but with less waste!

Not the tool library, but close enough...making fingerboards in Granda’s shed over Christmas.

Debating in Circles

When we talk about the climate action effort, we often split society into those who see the need for climate action and those who choose to oppose it. Last night’s discussion highlighted another important group: climate delayers.

What is a climate delayer?

Those who acknowledge climate emergency but declare that they/we as a society are doing enough

Those who acknowledge climate change but oppose declaration of an emergency

Those who acknowledge climate change and/or emergency on a public level but benefit heavily from/contribute heavily to the industries that continue to emit fossil fuels 

Those who acknowledge the climate emergency but propose only lofty goals with no substantive plan to achieve them

Any other person whose behaviours slow down the climate action effort without necessarily denying its validity.

It’s interesting to consider that, perhaps even more so than deniers, the behaviours of climate delayers work to preserve the status quo by focussing on how hard it might be to structure a society in a way that places less stress on the earth’s systems. They may also choose to support weaker policy reactions to emerging climate science. 

I know what you’re thinking. Of course, anybody (sane) would tell you that they’d rather do nothing than do something that might take effort. Even if a proposed policy has noble goals such as emissions reduction, people won’t give up their time to act unless it has a realistic plan behind it. The cool thing about Common Weal’s GND is that it’s actually costed, it’s clear (even to somebody without a science or economics background like me) and it actually feels like something that might work... No wonder major parties are starting to jump at it. 

There will always be a threat from climate delayers though. Especially when they are people with excessive power or influence. I guess this is the source of worry that some are harbouring when it comes to the enormous amount of money Jeff Bezos (Amazon CEO, tax escape artist, richest person in the world) has committed to set up his Earth Fund this week. 

Attempting to Square the Circle

A Guardian article I digested with my morning coffee collates the opinions of a few leading scientists on how he could best spend this money. Some of these included setting up opposition to oil and gas lobby in the US, forest protection, indigenous land rights and practice programs, supporting emerging tech, carbon pricing research and implementation and solutions with no financial market e.g. removing carbon dioxide from the air, restoring and re-wilding habitats or research into how we can overcome the sociopolitical obstacles to achieving low-emissions (and hopefully zero-emissions) societies. 

Inverleith House, Royal Botanic Gardens Edinburgh.

A quick survey of people in my Twitter bubble, including nell, didn’t give me a lot of hope. We, for good reason, are quick to distrust billionaires who run unfathomably large corporations that underpay and overwork employees, don’t pay taxes and do contribute heavily to waste and carbon emissions. You can’t really fault Bezos’ critics for being pessimistic when it comes to this donation. Billionaires donating billions of dollars cannot be expected to completely set aside their self-interest. 

We can’t ignore the fact that $10bn (US) could fucking change the movement. Bezos said on Instagram that the money will be given out as grants, so theoretically he could contribute to all of the efforts mentioned above. We exist in a web of systems that is reaching a tipping point: one that could easily set off a bunch more, even ones yet unconsidered. Without cooperation on a large-scale, we mightn’t be able to prevent the worst from happening. This money could allow this type of collaborative effort.

Unfortunately, I have to live in reality. It’s probable that this money won’t be used to disrupt the balance of power in the US that has always tipped in the favour of fossil fuels industries. It is unlikely to be invested into solutions that won’t reap significant financial return. 

Waters of Leith, Stockbridge.

Whilst it is vitally important that this investment doesn’t work to delay climate action by preserving the status quo, it’s a real possibility. 

My guess is that it will be invested into new tech that obviously has the potential to make people excited about responding to climate change but that Cornell refers to as “putting a bandaid on a an open fire”. It could delay real action, as funding for new ideas might outweigh support for the solutions that are ready right now.  I only hope that stakeholders consider that we are running out of time for research and pilot studies and shit needs to start changing now. 

To sum up and get on with the chores I see stacking up around me: a $10bn investment into the climate movement can’t be a wholly good or wholly bad thing. Activists, Amazon Employees for Climate Justice and other organisations have already convinced the richest man in the world to pledge 7% of his net worth to the planet, so maybe we can help to keep him accountable for the way he spends it too!? 

That’ll do for now, 

GS xx

P.S. buttons are still falling off, but I really am making slow progress with learning to sew! I will post some photos when there’s anything exciting to photograph.

[wolffyluna]

Storybook Pirates - F!Hawke/Isabela

@kawuli​: Something with f!Hawke/Isabela or f!Hawke/Isabela/Merrill?

“I will write something short, it’s just for a prompt-fic” I said to myself, as I ended up writing 1.8k words in the space of a morning.

F!Hawke/Isabela, largely canon compliant.

(And I am still taking prompts, if people are interested!)

***

Hawke grew up on tales of pirates. Tales of dashing rogues, battling wind and waves and worse ne’er-do-wells. People who were just bad enough that they got to do the fun things, but good enough that you could rely on them to race across the waters to go save king and country and their one true lady love.

She grew up running along the shores of Lake Calenhad, brandishing a stick as a cutlass, and saving Bethany from the Dread Tax Customs Officer Carver. (None of them were quite sure what a customs officer was, other than, presumably, the natural enemy of the pirate.)

They took turns, as pirate and captive and customs officer, but Marian was the eldest. She got to strong arm her way into being the pirate more than her fair share of times.

If Lothering was on the coast, she might have felt different about pirates, felt about them more the way she felt about highwayman. But she grew up on the shores of a lake. The sea, and the dangers of being boarded, and having all your goods taken, and the question of whether you would starve, were just as fictional as pirates to her.

And then she grew older, and maybe most would have grown out of the tales of pirates—but when she grew older and magic sparked from her fingers—running away across the waves where no one knew who she was and no one was in a position to care, being just bad enough to do the fun things, but good enough to still be a hero, and not a bomb with a slow burning fuse to abomination-hood—Well, that had appeal.

***

She ran away across the waves, to a town that didn’t know who she was, and at the time, wasn’t quite in a position to care—It wasn’t as fun as it was in the stories. Because this was real life, and in real life you have to grieve the people who die, and you can’t be assured of your victory because you are the ‘good guy’, can’t be sure you were the ‘good guy’. But she made the best of it. She would be the dashing apostate that was here to help, so she could get enough money to go and be a pirate of the Deep Roads.

(“They’re roads,” Varric pointed out. “If you’re anything, you’re a tomb robber, or a highwayman, not a pirate.”

Hawke was aware of this, but still had her instinctive dictate of highwaymen. “Tomb robber just does not quite have the same ring to it.”

Varric held out his hands, and smiled. “It all depends on how you say it, Hawke.”)

***

She went to the Hanged Man, and met Isabela. Helped her out, offered her a cut of any jobs she helped her with, hung out getting far too sloshed on far too terrible liquor.

Isabela was a pirate, a real one—and one just like in the stories. Okay, so her jokes would never get told in a children’s pirate story. But she was cocky and brave and sure of herself and gave witty one liners as she ran people through. She swayed as she walked, compensating for the yaw of the ship that wasn’t under her feet, even on land. She joked and drank and was incorrigibly greedy—but she was good hearted on some level.

She was a story book pirate, and even if Hawke was older now—you still always had that pull to childhood stories, that nostalgia for things that never happened. All that was different is she could turn to the starry eyes of ‘you’re my hero’ into the starry eyes of ‘you’re beautiful—want to have your way with me?’

(Isabela laughed. “You know it’s not that easy to get into my pants?”

“Really? What if I said I’d been looking forward to a chance to be debauched by a pirate queen?”

Isabela tapped a finger under Hawke’s chin. “I’d say I’d been looking for a chance for an apostate to have their way with me—”

“But that ship has unfortunately already sailed?”

She smiled. “Similar ships. But this specific ship?” She put her hands on Hawke’s hips, pulled her close. Her breath smelled of cheap whiskey distilled badly, and, somehow, the salt of the sea. (Hawke guess that must be her imagination.) “I’d be more than happy to board.”

Hawke grinned. “I thought you said you weren’t that easy.”

“’Beautiful’ is a dime a dozen. But ‘pirate queen’? That’s rare. Can’t let that opportunity go by.” She kissed Hawke, hard and all pressure, nearly pushing her over.

Hawke managed to extricate herself for one second to breath, and say “Aye-aye, my captain.”)

***

Isabela was not a story book pirate. Isabela told a story—and Hawke felt embarrassed that she hadn’t spotted it. Hadn’t taken the thought that this was too good to be true to it’s logical conclusion—that it wasn’t.

She knew Varric span tales. He said as much.

But because Isabela did not say it outright, and the stories were about herself, and Hawke wanted to believe in heroic pirate queens—she missed it.

She freed the slaves in her hold, and that was good—but she dumped them on the coast, no supplies, no by-your-leave, no nothing. And she may not have had a lot of choice, but it stuck in Hawke’s craw. But that could be put aside as life not being a simple as stories, people not being able to pick the perfect option.

And stealing to Tome of Koslun. Okay, so pirates stole things, Hawke was aware of that. But it got her crew killed, and dumped a bunch of angry Qunari of Kirkwall’s heads—but still reasonable. She was imperfect but she tried and Hawke would take ‘tried.’ And she had lied about it—but no real pirate was Owen the Honourable. Real pirates lied, and Hawke knew that.

But running off with the one thing that would make the Qunari peacefully go away? To save her own skin (assuming Castillon was honourable and wouldn’t kill her anyway, assuming Hawke wouldn’t be able to save her from Castillon)? It was still reasonable. That was the frustrating thing. It was the sensible if self-centred—but she still believed in the greedy, seemingly self centred person, running forth to save the day, because that’s ‘just what anyone would do.’

But no, Isabela ran.

(And okay, Hawke had given it to her, and said it was hers, but she’d hoped she could talk her around, explain that surely if they could fight their way through that, Castillon would be no trouble—

But Isabela ‘didn’t want to cause any trouble.’ The bitch.)

And now half of Kirkwall was on fire.

 ***

Her judgement of Isabela may have been a bit premature, Hawke would admit, as Isabela strode through the double doors, tome under her arm. “I believe I can help.”

And striding over a prone Sten was also a very nice touch.

So, Isabela:1, Arishok:0, because Hawke was more than happy to let bygones be bygones, and trading people for the safety of a city was wrong.

“When a pirate was more willing to be the bigger person than you are, that’s not looking good for you,” Hawke said, staring up at the Arishok in an attempt to be intimidating.

“Thievery must be punished. If you are willing to stand you life in for this woman—”

Hawke took her staff off her back, cool flame leaping over its end at her touch. “I am.”

The Arishok nodded. “Then we duel.”

Hawke was a good fighter. Being able to set people on fire from a distance did give her a, maybe unfair, advantage in that situation.

But burly Qunari with axes were very much not her forte. The Arishok had evidently fought mages before, knew how to get in their faces and not give them the room to cast. Every spell was risk of getting smote by that tree-cutter—and she had misjudged too many times already. She rolled back,  healed herself, stopped the bleeding—and felt her connection to the Fade weaken. Not much, but enough to know she wouldn’t be able to heal herself for the next ten minutes. She went to raise herself up off the floor--

The Arishok ran over.

No time for standing. Hawke raised her staff, trying to will fire into the world, try and get him burning and rolling on the floor and her having room.

The fire grew weakly, piecemeal, like trying to light a forest fire with a candle—it would happen, but would it be soon enough?

The Arishok gained on her, and the flame was so, so small.

Something flew at the Arishok. Metal, shiny, landing in his back. A dagger.

Isabela’s dagger.

It was a weak stab, barely holding into his flesh.

But moving light objects was easier than conjuring fire, she could do it in her sleep (and she had, occaisionally, done just that, and accidentally made a thankfully empty chamberpot fly around the room). She released the fire spell, with an embarrassingly small puff of smoke, and pulled the dagger towards her.

The Arishok was strong, but her was made of flesh. He was made of flesh, with most of his important bits stuck in his chest.

The dagger inched through him, and he raised his arms, aiming to hit her while was casting—and then the dagger flew right through him.

It caught Hawke on her hand, cutting her knuckles, but honestly she didn’t care. A slice out of her knuckles was better than being sliced in half. The Arishok fell forward, and landed on her.

The Qunari, as one, turned and left.

“Uh, hey? A little help, here?”

Aveline and Fenris ran over, and helped roll the Arishok off her.

Isabela leaned on a pillar, and watched from the sidelines.

***

The official line was that Hawke had duelled the Arishok, using daggers, and stabbed him. The Champion of Kirkwall was most definitely not an apostate, what are you talking about, they are a good honest stabby bastard, just like you and me.

The line from Varric was that Hawke was apparently capable of summoning knives out of thin air.

The rest of them, that were in the room, knew what had happened.

Hawke may have landed the final blow, but Isabela had killed the Arishok.

And saved Hawke.

And indirectly saved Kirkwall.

Which made up pretty well for endangering it in the first place.

***

Hawke bought a drink from the bar, and toted it over to Isabela. It was whiskey—but the good stuff. Old, sensibly distilled, from Fereldan. Tasted of peat, but apparently some people liked that.

She placed it on the table in front of Isabela. “Here you go.”

Isabela picked it up, and sniffed it. “The good stuff? For poor old me? You shouldn’t have.”

Hawke leaned on the table nonchalantly. “Only the best for my favourite pirate queen.”

Isabela smiled, and took a sip.

Hawke spoke quietly, so that only Isabela could hear, and even the most determined eavesdroppers couldn’t. “And thanks for the help back there.”

“Only the best for my favourite rogueish apostate.”