#i have to learn to write and move on rather than obsess lol

[novasintheroom]

006: Appearance

♡ Pairing - Vash x f!Reader

♡ Word count - 0.9k

♡ Warnings - none

Part of the 150 Bullets drabble series on AO3

It’s not often he gets to dress up.

Read: ever.

Vash turns back and forth in front of the mirror. The suit is brown-red, old, and Roche gave Vash a teal tie as an accent to the look. Unfortunately, Vash never learned how to tie things like that, so it hangs limply around his shoulders. The suit jacket is a bit small on him. The pants ride up on his ankles like he’s prepping for a flood, his socks showing plainly. He lets out a small laugh. He knows he’s tall, but this is ridiculous.

Mister Roche is a kind man to let an outlaw like him not only into his home, but to throw a party in his honor. Saving a rich man’s daughter from bandits has its perks, sometimes. To let Vash borrow one of his suits was just added kindness – and something the man insisted on. “My wife likes our guests well-dressed for dinner. Best give you what I can so you can eat!” he’d said with a laugh.

Vash leaves the guest room he’d been dressing in, looking back once to look over his regular clothes and sack of supplies left behind. Across the hall is the room you’ve been given.

Vash tries one more time to tie the cloth around his neck in a respectable manner. The bow flops to one side, then slowly unties itself. He lets out a sigh. Well, nothing to do about it. He knocks on your door and opens it when a “Come in!” is called out.

He ducks his head a bit and asks, “Mayfly, are you ready -?”

He stops and stares.

You’re in the middle of doing up your hair, standing in front of the full-length mirror. You look at him through the reflection, brows raising. “What?”

“Wow,” he walks in, closing the door behind him. “You look…” He stops again, eyes running up and down your form.

Your dress is simple. A white shirt with ruffles and a dark forest green skirt that stops above your ankles. You have your regular boots on underneath, all scuffed and worn, but recently cleaned if the dirt smudges are anything to go by. The lady of the house has apparently given you some jewelry for your outfit as well – two balls of dark green stone hang from your ears, and a simple gold-and-green comb rests in your updo. A couple of gold rings sit on your fingers.

You turn, hands coming together to fidget nervously. “It’s the only dress his wife had to spare,” you explain. You’re not sure what for. Maybe to say why it looked so…old fashioned.

But Vash, cheeks pink and smiling, holds out a hand and waits for you to place yours in it. Then, he pulls, slowly turning you in a circle. The green skirt brushes against his pants. He whistles low when you complete your circuit. “You look beautiful,” he says. “More than beautiful.” He never gets to see you like this; usually you’re just as dirty as he is, traveling all day out in the deserts.

A bashful smile creeps onto your lips. “Mrs. Roche said the color would look good on me.”

“It does,” he says, pulling you close. He looks at your hair. “This took a while, huh?” He brushes a few strands out of your face and behind your ear.

You groan, “You have no idea. I hate doing my hair.”

He laughs because he knows. “Well, I like it. You look like a lady.”

“I always look like a lady,” you grump, but purse your lips when he leans down for a kiss.

“My lady,” he murmurs. His nose nudges yours, and you let out a soft laugh.

“My sweet man,” you say, stepping back to take him in. Your lips purse again, and a small snort escapes. “Well. That could fit better, couldn’t it?” Realizing what you said, your eyes widen and you stutter, “Y-You still look good! Handsome!”

“I look like a kid playing dress-up,” he laughs. “Can you help me with the tie? I can’t get it.”

You do so happily, pulling it together with the hands of somewhat-practiced ease. “Comes with tying parcels together,” you explain. The bow sits at his neck well now. You brush it with a hand, then brush off his shoulders. “It goes well with your eyes.” You reach up and smooth out a bit of his hair. It’s still wild, though. Untamed. Just like him.

And just like him, he ducks low to catch your lips again. He can’t ever get enough. Your lips are sweet and soft with the balm Mrs. Roche provided. Gently, you pull at his tie to bring him closer. He hums. He likes that. He really likes this.

“Mr. Stampede! Miss ______? Dinner is served!”

You separate at the sound of Mr. Roche out in the hallway. Quickly, you go to the door and open it. “We’ll be down!” you call back, and hear the sound of your host’s footsteps track back down the stairs. You turn back and smile at Vash. “Are you ready?”

He pulls at his sleeves, knowing it won’t do any good. “Yes,” he holds out the crook of his arm in silent question.

You smile and hook your arm through his. Together, with the neat and rare appearance of a regular couple, you walk down the hall and head to dinner.

[dejabooooo]

Ok I’m doing it. Idk if anyone will read this but here’s a compilation of all the stancest crumbs from bill’s book along with a stancest endgame theory:

I say theory because I can’t think of a better word atm. I know this is obviously not the intention of the text. I am merely taking the information we were given and twisting it to fit my sick agenda. It’s what bill would have wanted (Well maybe not quite like this but lol fuck him anyway).

So! Obviously billford was the star of the show here, but as I learned a little bit more about the codes I didn’t just learn what they say. I learned that all the stancest ship fuel is contained within them, and even tho it’s not much in comparison, what we did get is pretty profound!

There was a brand new code alphabet introduced in this book that we’ve never seen before. This cute little bros code that Stan and Ford invented when they were kids. Besides this image, this code is used only three times in the entire book.

The first (and insanely subtle) instance is on this page where ford concludes that Stan is the only person he can turn to after bill drives him to his breaking point:

It’s very small and hard to make out. On the window amid the equations.

It says: “miss you”

Pertaining the contents of this page, my first thought was that this is probably meant to be interpreted as a message directed at Fiddleford. But that wouldn’t really make sense given how it’s presented. This wasn’t written in after the fact. It couldn’t be directed at Fiddleford, they’re standing together arm in arm. It’s a code only Ford and Stan know, and this pic wasn’t taken long after they separated. This message must be about Stanley.

Ford uses the code on the next page, the last lost journal page where he’s talking about reaching out to Stan. It translates to: “have I been too harsh all along?”

This is so gut wrenching to me because he’s never written in this code literally anywhere else in the entire journal. And he says this vulnerable little line about Stanley in this code he probably hasn’t used in years but still remembers, in this code that only Stan would be able to understand besides himself.

The last usage is by Stan. Because the rest of the family is watching him write this, to the rest of them it just looks like he’s censoring his cussing for the kids’ sakes. But to ford, stan’s slyly writing him a little message that only he can see…

And what does it say?

“Love ya bro”

Ford’s arc in this book is realizing he should put his attention and concern in the ones that love him rather than fueling his obsessive hatred toward the one who hurt him. He comes to understand that he’ll be happier if he’s open about his past and rely on his family whose affection isn’t conditional like bill’s was. He moves past his shame, and comes out of the paranoid isolation that bill had encouraged him into.

And of course he receives this comfort from his whole family. But I think it’s very interesting how bill is framed as this toxic ex, Fiddleford is framed as the one he should have put his trust in during that pivotal time in 80s where ford ultimately blew his chance, and then there’s Stan.

Stan is hardly brought up at all but his presence lingers in more than few of Ford’s vulnerable journal entries. Stan is the one who put Bill in his place. Stan is the one who made Ford realize where his priorities should be. Stan is the one who’s accepted him all along and is the one remaining by his side in the end.

Bill even blames Stan for stealing ford from him like a jealous ex who can’t stand the fact that ford has moved on with someone else. (This is directed at the reader but it mirrors his frustration with the stans when they worked together to defeat him)

In conclusion: incest somehow ended up being the healthiest partnership option all along. Who knew?

BONUS CODE THAT CAN BE MISCONSTRUED IN A MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE WAY:

At the bottom of the first lost journal page where he’s talking about his loneliness and yearning for human connection, he mentions Stan in a code again. After embarrassing himself in front of the waitress he says: “Stanley could have made her laugh” 💔

[sethsclearwater]

Hi!!!! I have absolutely fallen in love with your Embry call writings 🤍🌙 I was wondering if I could request a camping trip fic where the pack goes camping for a while and just the fun and cute things you and Embry would do together. I think them cuddling by a camp fire or sleeping in a tent together would be so cute

love this lol!

...

"i think i'm genuinely going to wring jared's neck tomorrow if he picks up another one of those fuckin' bugs," you grumbled as you stepped into the tent you were sharing with your imprinter, haphazardly stepping over embry so you could get to your side of the makeshift bed you two had set up.

embry let out a breathy laugh, not looking bothered in the slightest as he had one arm bent and resting behind his head while the other rested on his bare abdomen, the blanket resting right at his hips.

"i think kim already gave him an earful about it if that helps anything," he soothed, watching you adoringly as you rolled your eyes, pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it into the duffle bag on the other side of the small tent.

he watched you, clearly a bit entranced by you while you got changed into some pajamas but not in a sexual way - something you'd gotten used to since you started dating embry. although he was definitely obsessed with your body, he wasn't constantly trying to fuck you which you learned to appreciate seeing how sore you usually were after.

"i hope she did. i'm pretty sure i got bit by at least 3 of those things thanks to him," you added, your jeans joining your shirt as you pulled on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top - the unforgiving heat the past few days making you even more grateful you'd opted to bring some lighter clothes with you.

embry just let out another breathy laugh, lifting his hand from his abdomen to take your hand into his, helping you get down next to him so you could join him on the bed. it wasn't comfortable by any means but having the option to sleep half on top of embry had saved your back from aching the past few nights.

you were quick to lay down with him, both of you laying on opposite sides so you could face each other, "well the good news is we should be leaving tomorrow so you and your bug bites don't have to last much longer," he teased, both of you letting out laughs at that one.

you had definitely enjoyed camping with the pack, something you knew embry knew, but you were definitely more than ready to get back to the comfort of your apartment and take a much needed everything shower.

before you could respond to embry, the zipper to your tent was being undone and none other than jared cameron stuck his head through the entryway, lighting up when he saw you and embry were still up, "bold move cameron," you started, playfully glaring at him as you sat up, fully ready to sprint out of the tent in the event that he had another one of those fucking bugs with him.

"he already fucked you this morning - no way you two were going to be going at it again," he laughed when your glare deepened, your sex life with embry an unfortunate casualty to the public pack mind-link.

"at least one of us is getting laid," you countered and embry let out a loud laugh with that one, his chest reverberating with the intensity of it at jared scowled at you, clearly not expecting your mutual allies (embry and kim) to have dished out the details when you asked them earlier that day.

"you know i was coming here to make a peace treaty but clearly you're far too wicked to come to a truce-" jared drolled dramatically, "i even had a s'more for you and everything," he added, sticking his hand in the tent to show off his metaphorical white flag, a rather good looking s'more.

your scowl turned to a smile as you suddenly realized just how much you had wanted a s'more, suddenly much more ready to forge a truce with the shapeshifter, "the s'more definitely helps your case," you started, voice trailing off as you looked up at him, "but i will only call a truce if you agree to not bring another one of those bugs around me again," you negotiated, smiling even bigger when you felt embry's hand slide over yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he silently backed up your truce.

jared, always a woman pleaser, seemed to ponder your proposition for a moment before slowly nodding, "you have my word y/l/n," he agreed, handing you the s'more before he was saluting you, a goofy smile on his face as he winked at your imprinter before ducking back out of the tent.

you laughed, zipping the tent shut with your free hand before you were laying back down with embry, "you want half?" you asked, breaking the s'more in half as you already knew his answer.

embry's smile deepened, both of you wearing the expressions only love drunk fools would know, and took half of the s'more from you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, "you're the best," he mused, brown eyes twinkling as he watched you take a big bite of jared's truce s'more.

you could hardly contain your laugh as you chewed, quickly swallowing before you responded, "oh i know," you teased, squealing when embry placed a big kiss on your lips. your giggles were muffled by his lips on yours, both of you almost immediately falling into each other as you enjoyed your final night of camping.

[callsign-relic]

dont look at me ive just been like fiending over the titan au for the past . 30 minutes just foaming at the maw about it

also my first anon here yay yay yay! yippee! but anyways onto BUSINESS.

ive mainly just been thinking about titan!megatron being a tiny bit . obsessed????? possessive? over a little human like sorry i just enjoy the difference in culture, language, and size especially TOO much.

something ive mainly been thinking about is just. this little human walking around in this strange, dangerously alien city thats absolutely massive, the buildings a cold steel, but the second they put their hands on anything the warmth from their hands just barely stir the nanites in the titan that makes whatever they touched bloom into a soft blue hue

colored footprints leave behind a trail that fade slowly over time, the blue hues melding into greens and yellows the longer the human lingers in an area as the surrounding area soaks in the warmth

meanwhile megatron has been keeping an eye on the little thing since minute one, shifting things around quietly to keep the human close and most importantly safe, one wrong move and the little guy would go kersplat if he didnt keep an eye on them

so he does, watching the human just taking in the alien cityscape with an awe in their eyes that megatron could barely understand

also something ive always like. not really disliked ?? more like. gotten enough of the “waah im a little human who knows nothing!! ):>” thing, like I KNOW ITS MOST TIMES SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. A READER INSERT but idk! i just wanna see people flesh out the human more in these kinda things

like what if they were a architect before finding themselves in the depths of the titan? what if they studied everything interesting about the structures inside megatron, said titan watching them with curiosity as they quickly write down something in a notebook that they slowly fill over time the longer they spend inside him

or maybe a linguist! slowly deciphering the little bits of cybertronian that they can find to understand the alien language, over time learning that the walls were almost covered in poetry, maybe making some of their own in inspiration of the titans, maybe megatron would be elated to learn that someone else has the same interest? like i mean the guy is probably extremely lonely, even if its self imposed there would still be some kind of yearning to be understood if you catch my drift??

gahh SORRY FOR THESE THOUGHTS BEING SO JUMBLED i just had to write this stuff down or it’d never leave my head lol BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE? MAYBE?

Eeeee these are so cool thank you so much for sharing!!!

I love the idea of the human having some background to them. An architect or a linguist or anything, just something that gives them a purpose to be interested rather than just “ooo big alien”. I feel like once Megatron sees the human’s attempts to reach out and communicate, maybe he would try and reach out too.

This tiny creature, smaller than dust, yet he still tries to communicate with them, because of how interested they seem in him too…

[thithesandofferings]

Be-comings of Ardor: pt. 2

Summary: Raian sees you as something other than nothing

Pairing: Raian x Reader

AN: Shorter chapter this time. Smut coming soon muahahaha

Tags: Descriptions of violence. Slow...slow burn. (Its actually not that slow theyre obsessed with each other) Eventual smut. Multi-chaptered. Nothing too crazy. I havent decided if I wanted to get any crazier lol. Honestly this is just an excuse to learn how to write descriptively so please bare with me.

Part 1

Part 3

Its two weeks before you see him again.

You don't even try to look for him the first few days. Knowing that his presence will be celebrated by others, you would rather die than have that kind of uneasy attention on you.

Doesn't mean you don't feel him. He's a constant being in your psyche. Pressing heavily at your tendons. Puncturing your dreams and basking wantonly in your nightmares. He avoids you, but you see whispers of him. Your peripheral is haunted by the monsters he creates around the corners. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he wants you to put him back where he came from. To retract your winnings.

Your silence and withered patience seems to please him. If only a little. Humor sings cruelly into your fingers when you know he's close by. Because once the two weeks is over, you hear him beacon for you. Its startling. Grating when you hear his voice in your head. Pains the nerves, making you blink rapidly as shadows vibrate the hollow of your skull. Doesn't even deem you significant enough to say words. Just lets his intention fold you into an obedient thing.

Your sandwich tastes of dust, gritty-digging into your gums and eating away at your flesh when you chew. looks even less appetizing. This does not stop you from grabbing it and bringing it over to him. Where he sits alone. A throne in its own right. Not a follower to be found. You hear whispers burn into your neck, but when you turn, heads are down and the heated words are not towards you. Not that you believe for a second they aren't interested in what you have to say.

Or why you're not dead yet.

Picking yourself up becomes easier the closer you get to him. You sit, but make sure to leave his heated gaze. It burns to look at him. Blood vessels crack when your knees press against his. You don't deem it important enough to move it. There is an unspoken crime to be had. One where the strangers of the Kure family didn't think important to tell you. Your shoulders start to lift straighter, and breathing becomes easier. They don't tell you that being away from your demon causes your soul to experience lacroysmic pain. Tears and sheltered screams covet the pillows every night. Or if there inst a brush encounter, then you forget who are for hours. Dissociating as your skin becomes parlor and your cells take on a pewter tone. Hollowed and feeble, for once, you want something permanent. Want him to stain your skin so you never have to go through the kind of pain you did for those two weeks.

"You feeling it now?" You don't even have time to feel embarrassed. Needles prickling at your spine when he speaks to you for the first time. You barely can scramble out a mumbled reply.

"If I had known that not being around you would cause this much annoyance, I would have followed you just like your little groupies" Being snarky with a war demon may not have been the best idea, but two weeks and having to deal with soul sucking despair, you'll say just about anything.

He seemed to enjoy the comment. Studying you before the next moment and smiling cruelly.

"You weren't ready for me, brat-" He leaned in to grab your jaw, pulling you closer. "I needed to know how loyal you were." Wrenching yourself back before his touch burned you alive, you couldn't help but scoff in anger. He could have just asked, or even let you know what was going on with his little test.

He gets up suddenly and doesn't wait to see if you follow. He knows you will. The sandwich is laid limp and cold on the table. The Kure family begins to hover over it. Birds flocking to pieces of meat that smell of you and your demon.

The demon says nothing as you both walk, but you make sure that you are close to him. Breathing in his ashen scent, brushing the molten skin minutely. You take your time to gaze up at him. He looks like he was getting used to the skin he'd been given. Starting to look like the old pictures his relatives had. You didn't see him sporting the purple hue anymore, it fading into a skin tone not quite grey, not quite purple. Blending seamlessly into each other. Didn't seem to care that you were staring either. Making sure to look over at your form, slowly roving over your form in a way that feels like he's pushed you into a lake of fire.

"Stop-" You start, only for him to deliberately stop short.

"You started it first. Don't look if you don't want that shit returned." It has your nerves pushing and trembling anxiously when you follow his broad back passed the back entrance to the training room.

You're about to fight.

Specifically. You're about to fight a demon. Your demon.

Its all a blur after the third time he puts you on the mat. The pain is irrelevant. It always is. But the rush of satisfaction bleeds into your disappointment.

He's out of breath.

His resolve blows gently against your face. Soothing the itch that has been shadowing you since he walked away. Contentment digs its way through your belly, unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. The demon sees it in your face, when you look up at him, brief flashes of surprise melting into the blacks of his eyes.

When he pulls away from you, it feels like puling flesh from muscle. Aches in greedy ways. You want to keep him on you. Inside you. As one. The hunger borderlines on inappropriate. Makes your face flush in embarrassment when you finally start to hear the excited echoes of the Kure family needling at one another.

Silence balances the room entirely when he sticks a hand out. To help you. Roughened palms from decades of blood spilled underneath his fingerprints. Its warmer than you'd expect when you grasps them. Callouses digging into your palm, wanting to rip away tender skin in the brief moments of contact. Rough skin scorching when it presses against yours. Seeing the size of his palm eclipse yours and it makes your throat run dry. Clicking hard as you swallow through your need. His eyes flicker a garish red only to blink and its gone quickly. But you feel it, old weight buried on your body as he assesses the damage he has done. Can hear the eldritch being admit a deep rumble of a satisfied purr when he sees that you have his marks on you.

The look wrenches you open, swallowing you whole in its rapacity. Its hard to look away from him, but his followers take his attention- pushing you out the way without ever touching you. You're used to that by now. Being the strongest doesn't always give way to respect you've learned. That doesn't stop the demon Raian from looking away from you. Eyes shifting and pulling pieces away from you and making them his. You'll have to decide what offering is best to give him the next time you meet.

[bearratic]

Get to know the mun ! repost, don’t reblog.

——— BASICS.

NICK[NAME] : Benjamin. [Benji/Bear.]

PRONOUNS : He/Him.

ZODIAC SIGN : Aquarius - Feb 7th.

TAKEN OR SINGLE : Single.

ANYTHING ELSE? : Real fuckn dutch. Made of stroopwafels.

——— THREE SERIOUS FACTS.

Writing gives me the time and space to gather my thoughts. I use it as a practice in conveying emotion, which makes it easier to do so and thoroughly explain reasoning. I use writing as a base for learning human psyche, soul, mind and spirit which interests me deeply. I try digging deeper into feelings and actions - reasons why some are done and linking them together.

I pick muses based on some hint of personality trait I see of myself in them. I find myself often asking what I want so having muses that at least correlate to my thoughts are a better fit for me than just a choice at random. It can be big as the way they think or it can be as small as sharing a favorite drink. Exploring their interests based on their world and adding on to it makes it way more enjoyable for me to write, story and world building is important to me.

I fucking love everyone I have ever written and will ever write with. This has been nothing but a warm and loving experience for me.

——— THREE RANDOM FACTS.

My nickname is thanks to my father, who even though he named me one thing, found it often too long and switched it to another lol.

I go to at least 3 concerts every month. Mostly rock in genre if I get to chose but I never say no when friends ask. I will always be your +1 to any event.

If I had to pick a country to move to it would be Scotland, sorry but I have a light obsession with that place.

——— EXPERIENCE.

Zero dude. Literally none. I just picked it up as a hobby and passed my blogs one year birthday last august. I have been truly active in the writing community for only half a year in total.

I go with the flow, I enjoy coming up with things on the spot. Diseccting my muses and throwing them into any type of situation just to write myself out of it. Or-... make it worse for them. Keep it interesting you know?

I write through and together with music, I let it guide me often. This is kind of the reason I am a slow replier, I have to really feel what I want to put down and then I can stick to it. Besides that, English is not my first language so I have to switch back and forth in my brain real often. It can be a bit tiring but I gladly do it for my writing partners. Much love.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE.

Give me anything with a background we can explore and me and my muses are in. I thoroughly enjoy talking to you about your muses and mine, from their favorite pairs of socks to their family drama, idc I want to know.

I need a lot of building together, plotting and anything to truly write my muse closer to yours if you want anything deeper. I build through writing together. From something silly to movie scripts. Let them get to know each other to their deepest point.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT.

FLUFF : Yeah definitely, I’m a sappy dude. I like to daydream.

ANGST : Also yeah! I enjoy making problems for my muses, it makes me understand them more. Dread is and can be intense so be sure to be in the right headspace and let me know.

SMUT : Sure, though with my lack of writing experience bear with me on this one. I really have to know how you write and your muse for this to work, I do not wish to overstep boundaries either yours, your muses or my own. Which I am unable to know if we do not at least have a talk about it.

——— PLOT / MEMES : Thanks to you I know how much I enjoy plotting. I know I'm rather slow with DM replies but please don't take it personally I am just truly busy and can only do one thing atta time. Memes! Starters! Send me them all day everyday, I might not get to them immediately but I will and I will love it.

TAGGED BY : @sanctissimx I adore. Thank Yououou.

TAGGING : Cool ppl but no pressure. @cherriedrage @penandswords @patronsxints @carminewill @heterochromatica @ofcursedenergy @modeinthemiddle @huntershowl & You.

[becauseimanicequeen]

I've been busy painting lately and haven't had the time to write much about the stuff I've watched or answer the asks that have appeared in my inbox. So I thought I would gather some of it in one post. Let's go!

Why am I Watching QLs at 30+?

Let's get the shit out of the way first because I have better things to do than to focus on ridiculous shit (unless it's a show that entertains the fuck out of me by being ridiculous). But, since this is an opportunity for me to (hopefully) broaden the perspective of this particular Anon, I will take it now that I have some spare time.

To give some context: This ask dropped into my inbox during the Olympics (when I was busy having fun watching gymnasts be superhuman and swimmers in their 30s winning gold medals rather than answering asks), where an Anon asked me why I, a grown-ass 30+-year-old person, participated in the BL space and said it was embarrassing, blah blah blah.

Short answer: I didn't know people stopped being queer at 30...

Longer answer: I've intuitively known I'm queer since I was a teenager. It's just that I had to focus on surviving my teens and twenties (mostly due to grief that kept piling on) rather than exploring who I was.

I didn't find the opportunity, time, and space to go inward until the pandemic when my depression released some of its hold on me (I know that sounds weird given the global situation at the time, but that was my personal experience during 2020-2022). Then, when I found the Asian QL world about 14 months ago, I started to understand myself even more. I've learned more about myself in 14 months than the two decades before that.

The core of what I'm saying here is that not everyone realizes they're queer in their teens. And no matter what age someone is, we all deserve to see stories we can relate to. The QLs I've seen have given me so much, even the bad ones (and especially the very bad ones, lmao). I'm sure there are others out there with the same experience.

BLs/GLs/QLs don't have an upper age limit. Got it? Great. Moving on...

What Happened to My Color Posts?

Another Anon sent me an ask about my color posts a week ago, asking me why I wasn't writing them anymore and if I'll be writing more of them again.

The honest answer is that I'm busy using color (painting) rather than writing about them.

I'm currently working on a project with some other artist friends and paint around 8-10 hours/day 5-6 days/week (at least at the moment). The project won't be done until sometime during April next year, and I'm loving it here.

Will I write about color again? Sure. If I get the time and feel like it. But, at the moment, I don't have anything I feel like writing about and I would rather just throw color (paint) on canvases instead.

What I'm Currently Watching

Another Anon asked me what I was currently watching since my tumblr seemed to only be filled with 4 Minutes (which clearly showed my obsession with that show, lol), and which of those shows was my current favorite (excluding 4 Minutes).

I'm basically watching these shows, minus the ones that have ended (4 Minutes, Happy of the End, I Hear the Sunspots, The On1y One, Seoul Blues, and The Trainee), and plus Bad Guy My Boss (Thailand), Jack & Joker (Thailand) and Love is a Poison (Japan).

On paper, I should devour Jack & Joker, crumbs and all. Also on paper, Bad Guy My Boss and Live in Love should only be an entertaining escape for me to turn off my brain.

I guess I'm in some weird kind of mood at the moment because it's the complete opposite. Jack & Joker is an entertaining escape, but I'm so deep into Bad Guy My Boss and Live in Love that Sunday has become my favorite day of the week (because I get both of them on Sundays).

I'm sure I'll get more into J&J when I get more Zorzo, though. I'm just surprised about my own chill reaction to it.

Anyway...

Other than those shows, I have to mention First Note of Love (Taiwan) which is amazing. I've got Charles Tu on my screen every week (which makes me suuuuper happy), Michael Chang is amazing, James and Liu Min Ting are amazing, Kaia Lee and Amanda Liu are even more amazing, and Mos and Bank have made cameos as themselves in two episodes. And I haven't even mentioned how great the music and the story is! (Btw, I've listened to the theme song about 100 times already.)

Then there's obviously I Saw You In My Dream (Thailand) and Monster Next Door (Thailand) as well. I would write posts upon posts about these if I had the time (which I don't).

Let me just say that I'm so happy I jumped into I Saw You In My Dream even though I started watching it for a ridiculous reason. The chemistry between the four boys is amazing as well. I definitely get the sense that these characters have known each other and been friends for years, and I love how that could develop into something more for them.

And Monster Next Door is making me love an introvert and an extrovert so much at the same time that the previous episode personally attacked me from several directions.

(Btw, I intentionally told myself to not go to this show's page on MDL because this world built for extroverts is waaay too harsh on the judgments of introverted characters. You won't find that bullshit here, though, I promise.)

As an 80%+ introvert (which I've been every time I've retaken the test in the past decade or so) who can pass off as an extrovert since I'm often around a lot of people (more often than I would like because it drains my energy), I love Diew soooo much. He's such a down-to-earth boy who knows his boundaries (a lot better than I do anyway, lol), and, yet, he agrees to go and play basketball with God and his friends because he wants to spend more time with his boyfriend. It's too bad that Dr. Asshole got to God first, though.

(Dr. Asshole should just focus on healing animals rather than interacting with humans, tbh, but, I digress...)

I just hope God realizes the story he's made up in his head about Diew and Dr. Asshole is just that, a story he's made up in his head. Their communication has been great so far and I'm sure they will solve it soon enough. That doesn't mean seeing God so sad and seeing how badly Diew was treated in the past (by his then-boyfriend, Dr. Asshole) hurt any less, though.

Anyway, that's all I have for now.

*signing off to throw paint at a new canvas because I can't wait until tomorrow...*

[scribbleseas]

Beyond the Walls, Chapter 2: Mother Nature

Description: It's the year 850.

You are a renowned scientist who narrowly saved the world from impending famine and malnourishment with a myriad of agricultural advancements after Wall Maria fell, surrendering acres of farmland to titans. However, your innovations are not quite enough to be a permanent solution, given that their yield rate is nowhere near ideal. Many are still starving, costs for bread and vegetables are still high, and refugee rations remain low

Convinced that the only sustainable answers can come from the natural world outside the walls, you implore Survey Corps Commander Erwin Smith to allow you to join his company’s ranks for their next expedition. His only condition? You must be trained in omni-directional mobility gear under Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, Captain Levi Ackerman, to qualify for the expedition as a soldier. Despite having no demonstrated prowess outside your trusty greenhouse, you willingly accept Erwin’s terms, desperate to prove your hypothesis. However, during your time with the Captain, you soon learn that there is more to the stoic and strong soldier that meets the eye, and instead, you have much more in common that you would have guessed. Not even you, a certified genius in the horticulture field, could predict the blossoming romance between you.

Is your commitment to saving humanity enough for you to endure extensive training under the scrutinizing Captain? Or will it be your unexpected feelings for him that ultimately distract you from your original experiment?

Content Warnings: Violence, gore, death, swearing, eventual kissing, eventual smut, human-eating titans, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder

Author’s Note: Hi Everyone! This was sooooo overdue. That being said, though, please let me know how you feel about this one! Believe it or not, this is only my third time writing Captain Levi. I really hope he’s in character for you all. I’m probably going to try to post the next chapter of Straight Laced next, but since I started the Fall Semester at my university, I can’t give you a date estimate. Shit happens, unfortunately.

Another announcement, I know I said I was going to post a poll about my next Ciel story, but I actually the next one myself lol. But on the bright side, I know you’ll all like it.

Thank you so so much for reading and staying patient with my terrible date estimates. (I know I originally said September 3rd for this one…)

Well, as always, Happy Reading!

- Dan

“I can’t even begin to tell you how jazzed I was when Erwin said you’d be joining us,” Section Commander Hange Zoë’s grin was nothing but radiant, alight with hope. Their hand rested on your forearm amicably as you walked through the Survey Corps’ Headquarters. 

You and Hange were correspondents long before you started your first aeroponics prototype, about a decade ago. Hange was your colleague, watching your hypothesis about landless planting develop with rapt fascination. You studied together up until the moment they decided to join the Survey Corps and focus their scientific genius on understanding titans. Meanwhile, you decided to continue your studies, pursuing a certification as a medic and a focus on agronomy, the study and practice of soil and crop management. 

Even with the distance between your respective research, you kept well in touch. It was Hange’s frantic encouragement that inspired you to make your direct appeal to Erwin Smith. They referred to the Commander as a visionary before you ever had. 

Hange had met you at the main entrance and insisted that they were your tour guide for the day. At the same time, a team of cadets started to move your belongings, deaf to your protests. While most of your belongings were equipment for the greenhouse and your experiments, rather than personal items, there were still a great deal of heavy boxes that needed moving. You felt sorry for the cadets tasked with the activity— especially in this heat— but Hange seemed to think little of it, telling you to let the young kids get their energy out. 

They said it as if the two of you were approaching your fifties, rather than your thirties. 

The corner of your lips pulled upwards in an answering half-smile. “I know. I’ve missed you,” you admitted, taking in the expansive halls. The headquarters was an old regal castle in the countryside, the hallways lined with large windows that allowed the summer sun to stream in. Despite the antiquated architecture, the premises seemed to be extremely well taken care of, there was no hint of dust, nor one blade of unruly grass. In fact, it was so picturesque, that you suspected that no onlooker would think to assume it was a military headquarters and instead, assume it was a wealthy residence.

“Well, Y/n, as did I. That’s why I made sure Erwin made me your tour guide,” Hange exclaimed. “There are a few places I want to show you, some people I want you to meet…come this way!”

You walked with Hange obediently, content with following them around the base. The tour started with your private quarters (the cadets left all of your boxes on the floor next to your bed), continued to the base’s training areas, Hange’s office, your new greenhouse, and ended with the mess hall. As you walked, you shared greeting nods with soldiers who passed you around the base. Few people stopped to exchange words with you, sensing that you and Hange were in the middle of touring. Erwin likely debriefed his forces prior to your arrival, anyway. 

The mess hall was abuzz with soldiers in decently high spirits, much to your surprise. There was a monotone chatter around the room as soldiers ate their breakfast.

The Survey Corps served their meals cafeteria-style, the lines at the far side of the room long as everyone waited for their lightly salted oatmeal and a singular slice of bread. As you suspected, there wasn’t a piece of fruit or a vegetable in sight because the military insisted its men sacrificed their diets alongside their lives. While you doubted you could produce enough vegetation to give everyone a nutritional boost in such little time, some change was better than no change. The tables of soldiers you passed continued to track your movements with evident curiosity, sizing you up— wondering whether or not you were as great as your reputation imagined you were.

“Levi Squad, Miche, Moblit, this is my dear friend Y/n Y/l/n,” Hange announced proudly, stopping at a long table towards the far side of the mess hall— the furthest away from the line of hungry scouts. Populating the table were a number of men and one woman, each regarding you with varying levels of interest.

 “Y/n, this is the Levi Squad,” Hange gestured to the group of six soldiers— the Levi Squad consisted of soldiers Petra Ral, Oluo Bozado, Eld Gin, and Gunther Shultz. Miche Zacharius and Moblit Berner were also distinguished Survey Corps members; Miche was one of Hange’s fellow section commanders and Moblit was their research assistant. You were never one to enter a situation unprepared, so you took the liberty of reading through the Survey Corps’ major players. “Levi Squad: meet Y/n!”

“I’m Petra. It’s great to meet you,” Petra spoke first, quickly rising from her seat to give your hand a professional shake. “We’ve been reading about some of your work…not that we understand the technicalities of it, but…” she laughed, “for curiosity's sake, we try. We could never do what you do.”

I’m not sure I know how I do what I do, either, you wanted to admit. Your pride forced you to swallow the words down like a dry cracker. 

“The pleasure’s mine,” you responded, reciprocating the shake and the same greeting with Gunther and Eld.

“You both can sit next to me,” Petra offered, shifting to the end of the bench. Hange took the seat directly next to Petra. You took a seat between the section commander and the tall soldier you knew to be Miche. 

“Honestly, I don’t know how I’ll do what you all--” you started, cutting yourself off with a start as Miche took a long inhale, sniffing near the side of your neck. You hummed curiously, but he made no attempt to explain himself. Instead, Miche nodded to himself and turned his attention back to his breakfast. The questioning look you sent to Hange went mostly ignored. They seemed more interested in the thin bread portion on Petra’s plate, suggesting Miche’s sniffing habit was an idiosyncrasy of his that was to be expected. 

Oluo shook his head, unimpressed with your comment. He took a long drink out of a teacup, making no effort to shake your hand and introduce himself properly. “I, for one, have no idea why the Commander thinks you can become a soldier in only two months or less. You’ll be titan chow mere minutes after we—“

“That won’t happen because she’ll be riding with us,” Petra interjected pointedly before turning her attention back to you, her smile apologetic. “Ignore him. He thinks he’s the Captain,” she rolled her amber eyes, cuing you into her joke. 

“Speaking of Levi… where is he?” Hange asked, taking the opportunity to change the subject from your potential demise to the whereabouts of the absent Captain. Their ponderous expression suggested that Levi was rarely late to anything. From what little information you were about to glean about him— his superhuman battle prowess, neatly groomed appearance, and stern expression to match — you imagined that the man was also quite punctual. 

“Running late from his tea pick up,” Gunther answered, causing the group to share identical looks of worry and frustration. (Save for Oluo, he merely tutted and shook his head dismissively.)

“You know what that means,” Eld said, his thin lips pulling into a grim expression. 

Sensing your confusion, Hange started to answer. “It means they don’t have his— oh no,” Hange fell silent at the sight of the Captain quickly making his way towards the table. Despite being a handful of inches shorter than most of the soldiers around him, all standing scouts parted out of his way, eyes diverting from his stoic gaze. The way they scurried out of the way reminded you of anxious prey.

“We should tread carefully, you guys,” Petra suggested, “he’s empty handed.” She sent a warning look towards Oluo, who merely shook his head in response, his hazel eyes rolling. They acted like a married couple— an intimacy that only came from fighting at one another’s sides for years. It was strangely heartwarming that they were able to stay with one another for so long.    

“Morning, Levi!” Hange cheered, standing to greet him properly. They clapped him on the back, only to remove their hand in response to his continued silence and pointed glare. “Guess who’s sitting with us today?” they asked rhetorically, “Doctor Y/l/n! She just came this morning.”

You rose from your seat, unsure of how to proceed. Levi didn’t seem particularly interested in introducing himself to you. Instead, he regarded you, likely hypothesizing whether or not you could handle two months of intensive training under him and come out of it with maneuvering reliable enough to save your life. He was calculating any semblance of a chance you had at staying alive and carrying out your research. 

“You can call me Y/n,” you decided, extending your hand to him with a tentative smile. Levi made no attempt to return the expression, much less take you. Instead, he regarded the remnants of dirt on your palm, left behind after you took a soil sample from the front of the base upon your arrival— and hesitated. None of the soldiers seemed to mind, given that it was such a minimal shadow left from the soil. 

In fact, you doubted they noticed at all. 

You made a quick attempt to run your palm over your light green skirts, the linen material light enough for you to remain cool in the hot summer. You chuckled apologetically, “I took a sample from your soil here. To see if it needs any additional nutrients before I use it for my vertical trestles,” you explained, doubting he would understand what you were referring to. Your vertical trestles were long stands with dozens of small engravings to house plants. The beauty of your aeroponics system was that it could grow plants without needing a constant supply of water. All they needed was nutrient-dense soil, sprays of (nutrient-dense, of course) water every few days, and consistent sunlight. 

“It’s fine,” the Captain replied, his grave tone insinuating that it was anything but. Still, his calloused hand wrapped around yours, his palm surprisingly cold. His grip was firm and sure. “Given your line of work, you’re bound to drag filth around with you, Mother Nature.”

The derisive nickname caused your back to stiffen as your hand fell back to your side. You frowned, unsure of whether or not he was teasing you with it. But there was no sign of mockery in his face— only mild frustration and inconvenience. 

“Training is at noon. Don’t keep me waiting,” Levi ordered, turning swiftly on the heel of his boot to make his leave. He ignored Petra’s dismayed calls, asking where he was going and why he was skipping the meal. 

Hange noticed your expression as you reclaimed your seat. “It’s nothing personal. He’s always that grumpy.”

“Especially after that tea store under-watered the flowers again. The ones they need to make his black tea,” Petra sighed. You cringed, thinking about the type of lunacy that would drive someone to over-water camellia sinensis twice. 

“And I need to train with him later?” You asked, now mildly concerned for your well-being along with that plant. Commander Erwin said Levi was their best soldier, Humanity’s Strongest. But he didn’t specify whether or not Levi was their best teacher. Was there truly no one else to take on that burden? Someone nicer?

“You might think we’d have someone a bit more…patient, but no,” Petra said as if she read your mind. “All of us,” she nodded to the rest of the group with her chin, her red hair bobbing at the gesture, “need to be focused on Eren while Hange works with him. The other section commanders have to prepare our new cadets. That leaves, well, the Captain, as the most qualified to show you the ropes,” the more Petra explained Erwin’s decision, the tighter the knot in your stomach felt. All of Levi’s elite squad had to make sure Eren’s titan didn’t go berserk and ravage the military branch while their leader helped you, a full-time scientist, master notoriously complex equipment. 

“But you can do it!” Hange cheered. “If anyone I know can become a member of the scouts in exactly six weeks, it’s you!”

It was true. If Levi was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and the Eren Yeager kid was Humanity’s Last Hope, you were one of Humanity’s only obstacles standing between it and famine, which was just as dire. There was no reason to defeat the titans if most of the population was going to be malnourished and on the brink of starvation-caused extinction. Not to mention, it was too ironic: the titans are defeated only for their former prey to go extinct due to lack of food. 

You couldn’t watch that happen when you were so sure it was preventable. 

. . .

You had a doctorate in agronomy, a degree in horticulture, and a certification in medical care. And even after those years of hard schooling, long essays, and seemingly endless research projects, you still managed to suffer the worst of equipment malfunctions at the worst possible timing. 

But to be fair, who invented this gear?

The idea of omni-directional mobility gear was to make humans as swiftly airborne as possible, giving them the ability to evade a titan’s jaws and provide lethal proximity to their vulnerable napes in milliseconds. However, human facilities were much more delicate than a titan’s— it didn’t take a doctor like you to understand that. To endure high-speed movement and mid-air contortion, the stress would need to be evenly distributed across the body at all times. That was why limp leather straps were dangling from various parts of your legs and torso while you desperately tried to buckle them in their rightful places. 

Hange demonstrated the process for you about three times before they left to work with the titan shifter, swearing that you would at least survive the first session with Levi. Now you were standing alone, using one of the many benches to the slide of the big green field where new scouts stretched with their section commanders, as leverage while you tried to buckle the gas exhaust around your lower back.

Several starstruck scouts attempted to ask you if you needed a hand, but your pride refused. You were an academic. You were having issues with…leather straps. Not only that, you couldn’t, in good conscience, let teenagers help you buckle your uniform. 

“Do you honestly think your equipment is going to hold you up like that, Mother Nature?” The Captain’s harsh voice asked, causing you to sheepishly turn to look at him, your cheeks reddening. Thankfully, they were already rather flushed from the heat. 

“I don’t understand how you all put this on so quickly,” you explained, gesturing to the pieces of uniform that you managed to construct. “It’s like a puzzle…” you mumbled before your face lit up with relief. 

“Oh--- there it is.” The buckle slipped through one of the adjustment holes, letting you pull the equipment around your abdomen snuggly. While you weren’t quite sure if this was the proper adjustment, you couldn’t help but nurse your satisfaction while you could. The compressed gas from the exhaust powered the wiring mechanism that worked like a grappling hook: the anchors on the edges of the wires were supposed to dig into any possible service and maintain your weight.

“The section commander was supposed to show you,” Captain Levi said.

“They had to run. Time-sensitive experiment with Eren. Something about sleep deprivation’s impact on titan shifting… It’s really fine, I know how important it is to be meticulous with your experiments’ timing. Maintaining consistent variables and all…” you were rambling. You cringed at yourself— your lack of social competence. But in all fairness, you spent most of your formative years in a laboratory, or your nose buried so deep within the pages of a book, that you could distinguish your textbooks from scent alone. Nothing— out of your vast libraries of literary knowledge— covered how to speak to a soldier of unimaginable strength (and with impossibly azure eyes to match.) It was no wonder the hottest part of a flame was its innermost blue. 

“Sounds like Hange,” Levi said noncommittally, but he didn’t seem angry. That told you he was more than accustomed to the scientist’s effervescent (and extremely capricious) nature. It suggested he expected it, at this point. Anyone close to Hange knew to expect some turbulence, at some point. You were relieved Hange managed to find someone in the Survey Corps to grow close to. They deserved it, and it seemed Levi could use Hange’s enigmatic scheming in his life. 

“Can you please just…” you looked at the equipment meaningfully. You managed to complete all of the straps that were a bit too personal to ask of him, but there were a few that ran behind your back and attached to said buckles that you couldn’t figure out how to stabilize without a mirror.

“I’m required to double check your equipment -- whether or not you proved incompetent with putting it on. You’re still a newbie, Plant Lady,” Levi said, already fixing the strap that fastened your gas exhaust-- the one you just fixed!

You huffed, dismayed by both your apparent failure and the new nickname. “I was growing attached to Mother Nature,” you smarted. 

“Just give me your right gearbox, and we might just manage to start training on time,” Levi ignored your quip. 

. . .

You were a puppet suspended in mid-air, only you weren’t lifeless, and somewhat in control of your facilities.

Every muscle in your body pleaded for help as you remained motionless, yet suspended in the air. Apparently, this was the first physical test the military put its cadets through. If you couldn’t strike a near-natural balance with the omni-directional mobility gear, then you were cut— sent to the fields to help with the harvest. Apparently, it would work the same for you. If you couldn’t exhibit the necessary physical prowess on your first day, what was the sense in the Survey Corps investing its time and resources into you?

You could feel sweat rolling down your neck, tracing an uncomfortable line down your back as you trembled with effort. You weren’t even wearing the full equipment. While Levi initially showed you how to put the whole ensemble together, you didn’t need all of it for your first day of training. All you currently were wearing was the various leather straps around your legs and feet, and the main belt around your waist that would have connected your gas exhaust and both gearboxes. According to your reading, those gearboxes held extra blades and gas canisters. Attached to those gearboxes were wooden handles that connected to the blades and anchors soldiers plunged into structures in order to move.

Your arms wanted to reach out and grab something, anything, to hold onto, but there was nothing in proximity. There were only two long bars that supported you on either side as if you were a swing. 

You tried to keep your gaze ahead of you, knowing that looking at the distance between your boot soles and the grass was too far for your liking. In fact, the thought of your elevation caused you to shudder, causing your body to sway. You weren’t proud of it, but you couldn’t suppress your worried shriek as your gaze slipped unintentionally downwards.

“Easy there. The more you panic, the less control you have. Put the most power into your core so your back straightens,” Levi watched you, observing your quivering body— in part from the physical strain that came with holding your back straight and core strong, but equally, your fear.

“Like…this?” You managed through gritted teeth. You blinked rapidly to try to keep the drops of sweat that cascaded from your hairline and past your eyebrows away from your eyes. “What if I-I….can’t do this any longer?” you asked, trying to come up with an estimate of how long you were balancing. Seven minutes? Eight minutes? The Idle Suspension Exercise was a minimum of ten straight minutes of steady balancing, excluding any time you spent thrashing. 

“Oh, you can just stop and---” the female scout to your side started to answer, only for the Captain to silence her with a single glance. Levi tasked her with turning the lever that hoisted you up and back down. “Nevermind,” she chuckled awkwardly, looking down at her muddy uniform boots. 

“Why did you tell Erwin you’d master this gear in two months when you knew you had basic stamina issues?” He asked flatly. There was a dichotomy between the Captain's blunt way of speaking and the way he regarded you closely-- curious to see if you could hold yourself up for a short while longer, or if you’d collapse. The tersely restrained energy in his physique suggested he was ready to spring into action if he so much as suspected the latter was about to occur. “Seems irresponsible, for a doctor.”

“I don’t have-- basic-- stamina--- issues!” You managed through labored breaths. He was essentially superhuman. He had no right to insinuate you had basic stamina issues when he’s had somewhere near a decade and a half to develop his skills in the Survey Corps. Compared to your single day, or half hour, of training rather. “And I’m not irresponsible!”

“I’ve seen first-day cadets perform better,” Levi’s arms crossed in front of his chest, his body relaxing. “Are you sure you gave this decision all of the thought it required, Mother Nature?”

“What?” Your head tilted indignantly, your eyes widening to immediately question the Captain’s words. Was he making fun of you? Questioning your sense of rational thinking? 

If you weren’t previously motivated to finish the exercise before, now you were deadset.

“Not everyone has what it takes to be a soldier,” Levi explained, unwithering against your enraged scowl.

“Some people are just more suited tending to flowers in a greenhouse than a battlefield. But I would say your attempt is…commendable,” he said. “Start letting her down, Sam,” Levi instructed the redheaded scout.

Your blood boiled, and it was from more than just the sun beating down on you. 

“Don’t you dare, Sam!” You demanded with an intensity you normally reserved for those goading you like the Captain, but you couldn’t control your tone during such immense physical and emotional stress. “I will finish this!” Now you had to. 

Sam’s eyebrows drew together as she hummed uncertainty, trying to decide whether she should obey the Captain when you were so clearly invested in beating the challenge. Her hand sat on the lever’s handle, unmoving. So she was going to listen to you. 

She sent a resolute nod to you. 

You’d dealt with numerous characters like Levi Ackerman. Stingy and sexist government officials and nobles who doubted your projects could produce anything of real scientific value…soldiers who didn’t want their wounds stitched up by someone they assumed was incompetent, based on the way you looked. Infuriated nobles who would threaten your life for making produce and food items more accessible when they’d been making fortunes by price gouging them. 

“Let me finish this, Captain,” you snapped, “I can do it!” 

“You already did,” Levi responded, taking a quick look at his watch. “You just passed twelve minutes. Let her down, now.” 

Before you could process what was happening, Sam obeyed, turning the lever around to set you back down on the ground. The second the bottoms of your boots reached the ground, your legs buckled, threatening to fully give into your weight. If you didn’t reach for the stand to your side, you probably would’ve fallen to the ground.

“You…did that…on purpose…didn’t you…” you panted to catch your breath once again, surprised you could string a coherent sentence together. You used the back of your hand to wipe sweat from your hairline and the rest of your face. You cringed at the pool of sweat that transferred from your skin, still hesitant to believe that you truly managed to go over the minimum requirement.

Because of Levi’s strategically-placed hostility. 

“Maybe,” Levi replied, something akin to reluctant respect on his face. “You’re dismissed for the day. “Meet me back here, same time tomorrow.”

“You’ll tell Commander Erwin I passed?” you asked hopefully, looking for your due praise--- even though it was obvious Levi wasn’t the type to commend his soldiers for a job well done. 

“It’s my responsibility to update the Commander as I see fit, Mother Nature.”

. . . 

“Do you have black tea in stock?” You asked the young girl working the counter at the bakery closest to the Survey Corps’ Headquarters. Even if it was the closest, it was still quite a ways on horseback-- about a half hour back into town. 

The girl blushed. “Um, no. We don’t. Our…newest hire…under-watered the plant,” she explained tentatively, her smile sheepish enough to suggest that she was the mentioned culprit. 

“It happens. Do you still have the plant?” you asked. 

“Yes, we do…?” she replied, unsure as to why you were asking for it. Her smile seemed a bit terse, irritated that you were looking for a plant that they were likely about to compost. 

“Can I buy it?” While over-watering typically caused a plant to wilt and rot, effectively killing it. However, under-watering was fixable in most cases. Especially if it was the summer sun--- while camelia flowers tended to prefer sunnier spots, they also required ample water to keep them nourished. It wasn’t unheard of for an amateur to be scared of overwatering the flowers.

“I think it’s about to die, so you can’t really use it for tea or anything,” she warned, expecting you to change your mind.

“Just name your price,” you smiled patiently, but you were sure it didn’t reach your eyes because of your impatience. But in a matter of mere minutes, you were walking to the public stable where you left your horse, Juniper, and you were on your way back to Headquarters to start your first official project as an Honorary Scout.

. . .

Tags:

[hetaliaimaginesin2022]

Can we get yandere france headcanons? if you do yandere i mean, no pressure if you don't :)

This takes place in an au since I find it kind of hard to slot the yandere stuff in canon I personally don't see the appeal with Yandere stuff, but this shit is so fun to write, it like a crime drama, so if you want it, I'll deliver lol

TW// I did not soften this, he's a manipulative stalker who's enamored with you and I treated it as such, so this could potentially be triggering for those who have been in a controlling/abusive relationship, if you feel you could be affected negatively by reading that, please do not read it, your mental health is far more important than Tumblr likes

Yandere France Headcanons

He's very idealistic and sees the best in the object of his affection

He sees you as a perfect, delicate flower to be protected and admired, he believes you can do no wrong and puts you on a pedestal high above everyone else, you are his petit(e) ange

In his mind, you two are together, and have been for a while, in a passionate whirlwind of mutual attraction, love, and romance

He swept you off your feet from the very first day he saw you in his little corner café and ever since then, you two have been madly in love

Realistically, you've only had some light surface level conversation with him, asking him about his day while you order a drink and pastry

François' coffee and pastry shop, named Fleur de Café, is place you visit rather regularly, the cozy vibe and aesthetically pleasing food and drinks make it the perfect place to study or do work, especially since the nice, pretty owner has the habit of giving you extra baked goods (which he started doing the third time you came in)

When you visit the cafe, he often compliments things like your smile, your outfit, and your makeup (if you wear any), he comes off as very genuine and unassuming

If you off handedly express that you're looking for a job, he would jump at the chance to offer you an interview, keeping it under the guise of simply "helping one of his sweetest, most loyal costumers"

He would be over the moon if you agreed, using the opportunity to get to know you more, learning more about you; like your hobbies, interests, dislikes, and the details of your private life

Because he views you as flawless, he would be incredibly shocked if he found out you did anything that differed from his dreamy, fantasy view of you

Any bad habits like smoking, drinking, or doing drugs would leave him astounded, anything 'heavier' would make him completely speechless

While you may think this could potentially be a dealbreaker for him, he views any behaviors that don't fit in his picturesque view (including if you were to turn down his advances) as minor hiccups in the road to your beautiful relationship, minor things that can be worked around

If you were to fall into his rose scented trap and begin a relationship, he would seem like the perfect partner, always showering you with compliments and gifts and taking you out on frequent dates

Pretty early on he would offer to let you move in, he gets lonely without you after all, so your constant company would be wonderful

Suddenly you find yourself spending less and less time with family and friends, the majority of your time would be spent around your wonderful boyfriend

While he might be an obsessive stalker, he doesn't view it that way in the slightest and wholeheartedly believes that whatever the two of you have is a healthy, nurturing relationship

He would never use force against you and would get incredibly defensive if anyone implied otherwise

No, instead he would use his charisma and charm (Read: manipulation) clouded in flowery words to keep you by his side and reliant on him

You can't find your phone? He will help you look for it when he's done with this croissant batch, you're so silly for constantly misplacing it, why don't you help him in the meantime?

You're upset that he doesn't want you to leave the house today? Well, it's a dangerous world out there, he's just protecting you, how about you go out with him tomorrow when he needs to go grocery shopping?

He's being too overbearing? Ange, he loves you, how could you say something so hurtful like that to him?

Any issue you have about his behavior, he'd wave it off, insisting that he just cares about you so much, and clearly he does, he's done so much for you

Some people would describe the way he loves you as "overbearing" or "dangerous", but he just likes to call it devoted

[lazaruspiss]

Hi, I wanted to know if you've read Red Hood: The Hill and if so I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!

I liked issue 0 but my enjoyment kind of teetered off with issue 1 & 2

i dont read n52 but i gave it a go just for u <3 under the cut is a bit of a "brief" live read. TLDR: it's good, but it seriously does stop being about jason very quickly. if you read issue 0 and get really invested in dana then i think you'll like it, if not, then issue 0 is still a good read with great art.

Issue 0: some little timeline/canon details throw me off, but thats to be expected for any n52 story. the art is fantastic, and the shoe thing is so real. i still have no clue why sneakerheads are the way they are lmao. again, the art is phenomenal so far. Croc my beloved <3<3 i like how it's clear that Jason picked up on the secret identities pretty quickly, but its not really told to us so much as gestured towards via innuendo.

also, denise is pretty. i love her earrings in the diner scene. she also just kind of says what I've been thinking, that there's a risk to an independent neighbor watch the same as there is for any vigilante crime fighter. not just for the vigilantes safety, but for the safety of the people theyre supposed to protect as well. both sisters are justified in their position and i think it's a really well done conflict. it also manages to keep jason involved in the middle without making it just feel awkward or taking away from the importance of dana and denise.

"Batman swings on rooftops. I work the streets." <3 jason cool. and back to our main bad, i love how clearly image obsessed he is. it's done in a way that feels super believable too, like you could really meet a guy that insecure and egotistical lmao.

ohhhh and this is interesting. they're leaning into a family themeing, and the references to bruce make me feel like they're setting up a mending between those two. it's a bit... i have trouble with that. i don't think a mended relationship between bruce and jason is necessarily the best story direction for all their history. but The Hill so far is doing a positive light Jason-Bruce relationship better than most things ive read. It makes sense to have him be sentimental about his father when he has to stop a vigilante from killing. the end sort of, i guess i can call it a villain twist? I like it.

though the nods towards bruce make me uneasy. thats a very difficult relationship to balance, and its feels like its very much going to skew a certain way rather than falling into that "its complicated" territory that i like.

Issue 1: murder grandma! very jarring very cool. the writing still isn't bad but i think it might be a problem of issue 0 being so strong that the after feels lackluster. the writing is a bit more on the nose, and more emotional/character related aspects fall to the wayside for the action parts.

Issue 2: oh. ew. splicing a makeout scene with narration about an uninvolved man's life falling apart. i saw someone say it ended up being more about dana than jason, and im really starting to see what they meant with this issue. it's not the worst thing in the world, but it's understandable to be disappointed by that. the writing is also just gradually starting to lag. i havent checked, but if this is the same writer as issue 0 then im tempted to say it mightve been a crunch time problem.

back to the actual story, jason is less the main character and more taking the role of a mentor figure for dana. it keeps getting less and less about jason and more and more noticeable that it is less and less about jason.

Issue 3: croc <3<3<3 and yeah this series really stops having much to do with jason. we learn which vigilantes the neighborhood watch would smash tho, lol.

there's even references to the fact that jason plans on moving back towards batman's parts of gotham, like this is not a series about him at all after issue 0. i thought they were setting up development of bruce and jason's relationship, but there were really just setting up an excuse for jason to leave. "This is your bad guy, Dana. And I told you. I'm not staying." this series is 100% meant to set up dana as a bigger character. I feel conflicted about it, bc obviously that's not what people are necessarily expecting/hoping for when they pick up something titled Red Hood. but how else can you try and introduce a successful new character? I know dana isn't entirely new, but it's incredibly difficult to give a foothold to characters that haven't been around for long enough. i think that's partially a side effect of how DC operates, and just a result of general familiarity bias.

anyways. issue 3 ends with batman showing up. i don't think I'll be checking back for future issues.

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, September 25th, 2024.

Have you ever had an encounter with the paranormal? I've had some subtly strange experiences, but there was probably a mundane explanation behind them. I've never had anything happen that was so bizarre that I felt like only a paranormal explanation would suffice.

Does being in love make you nervous? It does. Not just being in love, but committing to anything meaningful or important. On some level, I'm always afraid that I'll sabotage it or create some sort of negative self-fulfilling prophecy.

Would you do your own surgery to keep yourself alive? (Ex. stitches) I don't know… A dark-sided part of me is like, "If we dyin', we dyin'." But who knows. Maybe instincts and self-preservation would kick in and I would at least attempt to save my own life.

Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Read it. I'm rarely ever moved to write it, but I will if the inspiration strikes.

Have you ever had any really infected injuries? Just ear piercings and little things like that. Nothing serious.

Is racism for losers? Yeah.

Have you ever gotten so discouraged with something that you gave up? Discouraged, frustrated, bored, distracted…many reasons. Like sometimes I'll focus on something obsessively for a relatively brief window of time, but that obsession will inevitably wane and I'll no longer have the same drive to continue.

Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No.

Do you prefer long surveys or short surveys? I prefer medium-length surveys (maybe 30-40 questions), but if I have to choose between the two extremes, then I would prefer longer ones.

Would you ever work for Google? No. I'm not interested in doing that kind of work, I have no skills to offer, and I don't think I would enjoy the environment.

Do people that are ungrateful for everything bother you? I think I would only be bothered by such a person if I had to spend a lot of time in their presence and listen to them complain all the time. Otherwise, it's whatever. Be grateful or don't. It makes no difference to my own circumstances.

Have you ever related yourself to a ‘fallen angel’? Haha, yeah.

Do you text people from a cell phone or from the internet? When it comes to actual texts, I use my phone. When it comes to something like Instagram messenger, it just depends on what feels more convenient in the moment.

Are you popular on any websites? No.

Have you ever cussed/swore in front of younger children? I probably have at some point. Lol the other day, I was filling Kongs with River in the big room, and one of our regular volunteers came over to join us. She's around 12 years old. River was making conversation with her, asking her what school she went to, and she was like, "Oh, I go to [insert school here]," and River was like, "Oh heck yes!" Later, she told me that she was about to say, "Oh heck no," but caught herself at the last second. Not quite an instance of cussing in front of the younger folks, but she didn't want to be negative about it (because apparently that school succckks).

If so, did they eventually imitate what you said? I don't have any recollection of anyone ever doing so.

If you ruled the world, what is the first law that you would make? I have no desire to rule the world. I mean, just look at my track record…Rollercoaster Tycoon…Children Of The Nile… You give me the control levers and shit's gonna be pretty fvcked.

Do you think politics are evil? Personally, I'm not a huge fan of politics. I'm a wimp; I hate confrontation, heated debates, circular arguments that go nowhere and convince no one. But do I think politics are inherently evil? No. I just think they can be used to do some pretty evil stuff, and I question the motives of anyone deeply involved in political realms.

Do you have any friends that you almost always joke around with? Ollie.

Will you go to your high school reunion? No.

Have you ever beat up someone because they had different beliefs than you? No.

Have you learned any new words today? I haven't.

If your hair never got greasy again, would you still wash it? Yeah. It's not just about the grease, but overall cleanliness.

What was the last song you listened to? Something classical on the way home from the Mountain Park earlier.

Are you currently texting anyone right now? I'm not, but I do need to reply to a text from Ollie.

If you could meet one famous person, who would it be? I don't have any interest in meeting someone famous. I would much rather meet some of my favorite podcasters/YouTubers.

When was the last time you played jump rope? Years and years ago.

If you have ever jump roped, did you ever trip over the rope? Probably.

Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? Sometimes. It depends on what I'm doing.

Do you give good advice? Maybe occasionally. I'd give great advice if I just constantly parroted my therapist. ;D

Would you rather help people or hurt people? Help people.

If your enemy lost almost everything, would you be willing to help them? I'm sure they'd have some sort of support system in place and wouldn't need my help, but hypothetically speaking…yeah, I guess.

Have you ever prayed for your enemies? I don't really have any true enemies, but you know what? If we go with prominent political figures or people like that, then it's easier for me to pray for them than it is for me to pray for someone I actually know and dislike. I guess it's because the latter is more personal, whereas the former is more of a distant concept (even though they may objectively cause much more harm in the world).

Do you lie in order to tell people what they want to hear? Yeeeah. More often than I would like to admit. Or I just kind of smile and nod, lie by omission, go along to get along…that kind of thing.

Or are you honest and tell the truth, good or bad? Sometimes I will tell the truth, much to the displeasure of everyone.

Would you consider yourself hypocritical? Yeah. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. There is one particular way in which I'm hypocritical and I'm trying to work on that.

What would you do if you found a suitcase with a million dollars in it? Uh…leave it alone and get out of there. I'm not getting involved. Not my business, not my problem.

Are you addicted to any energy drinks? No.

Do you know anyone who had had a heart attack under 30 years of age? No.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you were never born? Yeah.

Something tragic just happened, does your facial expression show it? I'm just going to assume it would.

Currently are you relieved about something? No, but I'm hoping that Friday will bring some relief regarding a certain situation. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, or maybe it's the end of the world. We'll see.

Are you angry about something? How about sad? Yes and yes.

Are you considered popular at school? I'm not in school anymore, but no. I had a handful of friends/acquaintances, but I was never popular.

Who was the last person you offended? Hmm. I'll talk about the situation eventually. Maybe. Depending on how things turn out.

Do you feel sorry for kids who have celebrity parents? In some ways.

If you could invite ANYONE to your house, who would it be? Idk.

Is there something that you absolutely can’t wait for? Friday. It's not a good kind of anticipation, though. It's a fearful, anxious kind.

If you could host your own talk show, would you do it? Naw.

Do you have a phone right next to you? I don't.

If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? Probably.

Have you ever told anyone ‘get back, jack!’? (My Mom says that) I haven't.

Have you ever seen something you wanted in a store but didn’t have money? Yeah.

[actualbird]

I guess I'll call myself 🔥 anon??? Idk lol. I changed my writing style with that first ask, but whatever. This is important, so who cares.

Anyway, I get it. I come from a family of artists and academics and teachers. My childhood dreams were to be a painter, a marine biologist, or someone super smart with a well-paying job. After that, in high school, my dream was just ATAR. Get a good ATAR score. Be good at learning and be told, "Yeah, you could go to university."

It's a year or so after that goal was set. I'm moving down to general classes and doing things I love more. My business cert is no longer there just to say "I have a certificate", it's because the teacher is one of the nicest teachers I've ever met and I like the class. Take IT because it's easy. Do human biology because you think the immune system is fun. I'm younger than you, sure, but one of the best things I've learned is exactly what that old saying says.

"Jack of all trades, master of none

but better than a master of one."

I'm having the time of my life. Will I end up getting higher education? Probably. Because I want to. Is it okay if I drop a course halfway through and never pick it up again? Is it okay if I have to ask teachers to slow it down?

Totally.

You don't have to be good at school to be good. I'm awful at it, and gifted kid burnout destroyed my life for a while. But I have friends and family who love me, and slowly, I'm learning to love myself, too.

I wish you all the best.

hi again fire!anon i

fully teared up reading this JKHSVJFHDKSDFKJSD

you might be younger but my gosh youre a whole lot wiser than i was when i was at uni age.

youre right and i agree with everything you said. i guess im just still stuck in that weird portion you mentioned of set academic/career goal -> set academic/career goal -> set academic/career goal that now that im in a place where i can start wanting things that are a bit more outside of the usual goals i had before. it's scary as fuck!!! i wish somebody could just tell me what to do instead!!! but i absolutely believe in the essence of doing things because you love them

while im not in class anymore, im a notorious hobby hopper. i learned how to crochet for funsies and i dont anymore but i still loved doing it, i have on and off durations of being obsessed with origami, i keep wanting to learn basic html for website building but keep putting it off because im worried im not smart enough to be able to handle it but honestly, when i have the time and motivation, i should just do it.

im like you in the sense that gifted kid burnout also ruined my life a bit, i think it uh....still is up til now, probably, judging by how badly 90% of my life's decisions are still made on the basis of whether or not i can get A Good Grade At Task HVSLBDFJSDJFK. but eventually, i hope it lessens its hold on me. i think one of the hardest things about going from student to adult was accepting that i cant Get A Good Grade At Life. absolutely mindboggling to me. can someone else please tell me what to do and if im doing good at it? please? i dont think i ever stopped being a student vying for validation. or rather, i havent stopped yet

itd be nice to stop. and just do shit cuz i like it. the idea sounds heavenly to me like a clear day. maybe things will be okay ;-;

i wish you all the best too, fire!anon. thank you <3

[bohemian-nights]

Do you remember when Ryan spoke about Daemon and Vermithor scene saying it's ambiguous scene that might be connected with Luke's death? He said he wanted audience to suspect of him, why saying that with no purpose? He's just obsessed with Daemon or what? Lmao i think is no coincidence. I didn't mind about this interview till now that Ewan saying Luke's death might be revealed no incident, yet we know that Aemond didn't meant to kill Luke cause we can clearly ear him yelling at Vhagar to stop and obeys his orders he also yells no! When Luke gets eaten, so it's not Aemond's fault and then why saying that? Teasing something i think. What if Daemon is actually the one responsable of it by singing that lullaby, and did it, in order to make war happening and get his own revenge?!?! Must admit the timing is also suspicious. Daemon falls out with Rhaenyra cause she wants no war, and few sec later, Luke is dead. He would be capable of it, he doesn't give shit about Rhaenyra's bastards, to him they're no family either, but more acceptables than Hightowers, till the moment they don't get in his way. (The scene with Jace was rivals vibes) He would be perfectly capable to sacrifice them all to reach his goal, without blinking an eye. Im sure of it, so if Ryan might plan that, it's mindblowing. Daemon revealed to be THE Villain of the series and the cause of the Dance, cause killed Luke to start the war, plus Blood and Cheese to make sure the war would implode. Can you imagine the shock of Daemyra shippers?? 😭 They do nothing but trying hard to prove 24/7 Daemon loves Rhaenyra, but if he would be revealed the huge backstabber, their ship is buried under the most deep ground lol Personally i don't care about ships and if Ryan is planning that would be great plot twist. Not to mention Daemon might be the biggerst manipulative Master mind, perhaps even surpassing Little Finger and the shock Aemond would have learning everything horrible happening so far from both factions is his uncle's fault, obviously revealed by the end during God's eye battle. This theory is one of the most intriguing around. I like it. What do you think?

I don’t remember that interview, but then again I stopped paying attention to a lot of those interviews they put out towards the end.

I’m going to be honest while you obviously put a lot of thought into this, there is no way Daemon killed Luke. He was nowhere near either Vhagar, Aemond, or Lucerys to manipulate things to bring about the latter’s death. Singing to Verimthor(he's trying to make the dragon easier to claim) wouldn’t trigger Vhagar to go crazy and kill Weak Boy #2.

He just happened to get “lucky” in terms of timing and let’s keep in mind that while show!Daemon is far from being an idiot he’s way too reckless and impulsive(especially when he’s angry) to be able to pull off Little Finger moves(well early season/book!Little Finger moves). A master manipulator he is not.

In the books, Luke’s death is not an accident. Aemond straight up started chasing after Luke on dragonback with the express intention of taking his eye dead or alive.

Originally in the show they were going to go with Aemond smirking in reaction to Luke getting got(keeping it book-compliant that his death wasn't an accident), but at some point during production that got changed to this:

Honestly they can write off Aemond’s expression here as realization that mommy is going to be pissed off at him rather than actually regretting killing Luke. I mean he was cackling and chasing him down with a weapon of mass destruction 10 seconds before that so how much regret could he possibly feel?

What did he possibly think could happen when he hoped on Vhagar's back? They were going to play patty cake and hold hands after he took out his eye🙃

Back to Daemon being the big baddie of the series.

*I think it should be noted that in the books Daemon was trying to avoid bloodshed and was much more diplomatic and a voice of reason. He’s not the big baddie and even though he is not presented in the best light in the show, he’s a far cry from being the villain.

Ryan Condal himself has stated that Daemon is a gray character(there is still hope for him if they don’t screw over Dettles and follow canon when it comes to their relationship; Nettles is his light and his redemption so to speak).

The show's “villain” appears to be the patriarchy itself which Daemon is a part of, but he’s a cog in the machine like Otto, Gollum, Corlys, Aegon, and all the other men. If someone is looking for the cause of the Dance it’s Gollum, his lusts, and his inability to parent his children.

[mwebber]

here to gush about ur latest writing because i’m obsessed with it i absolutely love the formatting the confessionals AAA so so creative. and the way you manage to capture their voice (personality? idk a better word) while also putting them in the au is so so perfect. it’s just so good and i love healing and i love tensions and i love guilt and blame and yeah!!!! just really really amazing

wahhh thank you so much!! ;-;

truth be told it kind of Spilled out of me.. went to brunch on saturday with my friends and while we were talking i was like, well i've always had a thing for brunch, but i haven't really, yknow? i only got into it in my last yr of high school with my old friend group that formed after my best-friendship homoerotic fallout, and i don't talk to anybody from that group anymore bc we've all moved on physically and mentally... but it got me thinking about how transient those relationships can be. idk, something about the scars from our adolescence being with us forever, but also how growing up is learning to live with our sins rather than try to cast them away from us, and how taking responsibility for something doesn't mean shouldering all the blame/accountability, but recognizing the situation as it was holistically and coping with the part we played.....

the whole mess between seb and mark is actually a combo of stuff i fucked up as a teenager, and rereading it now, i can see so much of the two people i wronged/who wronged me in both of them LOL. i don't think i'd ever have gone into the effort of repairing either of those relationships if i had the chance back then, but ig it's interesting to be like, well, if all of us had the opportunity to control the narrative. if it wasn't just your word against mine, if you didn't make me the most hated person in high school at one point bc i gave u the cold shoulder for two weeks, if we didn't have a screaming match in the bathroom, if you didn't give me that funko pop anyway for my 14th bday after i was too pussy to face u because i didn't want to go to nationals with you but didn't know how to say it, if you hadn't told your mom to call my mom just to tell me you didn't want to walk to school with me anymore because i cramped your style just weeks prior. well, maybe things might have looked different.

[little-paperboat]

Get to know me (tag game)

I'm super late for this one, but I've merged two sets of questions, thank you @savriea & @dutifullylazybread for the tag! I'm very happy 🌸

Do you make your bed? —I do - or I try to, I feel better when it's done and it makes me feel like I can move on with my day 🫡 Exceptions are for when I'm late, but then I would do it before going to bed!

Favourite number? — 5 (but 3 or 7 also work) (I like odd numbers in general)

What's your job? — I quit my job a few weeks ago sooo at the moment unemployed fanfic writer I guess 🤠

If you could go back to school, would you? — I think so! I would love to go back to study something I really like without the pressure of earning the degree since I already have one, and then take the time to actually learn and discuss the topics rather than to focus on grades.

Can you parallel park? — In theory, yes, I can. In practice... maybe? I don't drive often, so when I have to park I try to make it as easy as I can for myself (so not parallel park)

Do you think aliens are real? — Yes, I think it'd be quite sad if we were the only form of life in the universe

Can you drive a manual car? — Yes!

What's your guilty pleasure? — Cheesy romance and romcoms, I'm down baaaad for it, especially the 90s ones

Tattoos? — Not yet, mostly because I'm too indecisive on what to get and where haha

Favourite color? — Red, then shades of purples, blues and greens :)

Favourite type of music? — Taylor Swift definitely, but otherwise I love pop-rock and instrumental/classical soundtracks from games and movies

Do you like puzzles? — Ehhh, I can do puzzles to pass the time but I'm not drawn to them otherwise. If I can't get it quickly it tends to annoy me 🥲

Any phobias? — Yeah, spiders :(

Favourite childhood sport? — I had a complex relationship with sports as a kid so I don't think I had any really? But I loved to run around and play hide and seek if that counts lol

Do you talk to yourself? — Occasionally, when I need to "hear" the steps in a process or to guide myself through something step by step. Sometimes I do it when I'm in a very good mood too!

What movie(s) do you adore? — Oh! Lords of the Ring trilogy is my absolute fave of all time, then the Ghibli movies, Pride & Prejudice (2005), and I cannot think of others at the moment although I'm sure there's at least like 20 more haha

Coffee or tea? — Tea always, but in recent years I've learned to like coffee (although I love the smell more than the taste)

First thing you wanted to be growing up? — A teacher! And I'm kinda glad I didn't choose this path now 😬

Last song I listened to — guilty as sin 🤍

Current obsession— Rolan 👀 and BG3 in general ❤️

Last thing I Googled — my dentist's phone number lol

Favorite Season — Autumn, when the leaves are red and gold and the sky is still blue 🍁

Skill I'd like to learn — Drawing! I've just started to take art classes and I'm super motivated (and to finally be able to draw all my Tavs! and their partners hihi)

Best advice — trust yourself and do things for yourself first and foremost (drawing, writing, etc etc); don't try to match people's expectations and do things at your own pace, life's not a race :)

Currently watching — waiting for Bridgerton part 2, so in the meantime I'm rewatching the classic period drama movies (P&P, Emma, etc.)

Currently reading — Quoting this from @savriea because it's exactly my answer too lmao

— A stupidly long list of BG3 fanfics as my "to read" books sit gathering dust on my bookshelf.

Relationship status — taken, four years already :)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy — sweet all the way with a side of savoury, spicy food is a no-go however, I cannot handle spices 😱

no pressure tags for the lovely @sleketon666 @kimberbohwrites @poetryvampire 🌸 (feel free to ignore if you've already done it!!)

[faceofpoe]

For the ask -- 22, 23, 30

Share an excerpt from your favorite scene

Ooh. What to choose, what to choose...

From The Thing Itself part 4:

“No training lasers in here,” Hochek said softly at his side. “Let’s see what you’ve really got.”

Cassian stared at him for a long moment. Looked at the blaster in his hand, the empty holster on the major’s hip where the sidearm usually rested, and felt the briefest, vicious pull. So close he’d hardly need to aim. The fantasy of walking alone from this room, dead officer in his wake, seeing how far he could get before someone noticed him, taking as many down with him as he could manage.

There was a test in it, and rage swelled inside him. He turned and fired three shots in quick succession at the nearest three targets. A display appeared on the barrier marking the firing position, noting his scores. Good, not great, hitting them solidly but well shy of center mass.

“You’re overcompensating; expecting a harder kick, used to a heavier weapon.”

“I’ve been in a cage since I was thirteen,” Cassian bit out, straightening his posture and firing at the next three targets. “I’m not used to anything.” Clem’s old Bryar out at the junkyard, learning how to cycle the barrel and ‘Don’t tell Maarva’ and -

“Breathe in and sight; count on the exhale and fire on three.” The last of his next three hit dead center. “Good.” And softer: “Someone taught you well.” Hochek didn’t flinch, didn’t move in the slightest when the barrel of the pistol was aimed straight at his face a split second later. “But you’re not a killer, are you?”

The visible trembling of his hand, the damp tracks on his cheeks, only stoked the embers further. “What difference does it make?” His voice at least was steady. “You didn’t bring us here to kill, you brought us here to die.”

Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

Okay this was hard but finally settled on a piece from Clarity of Purpose. Part 4.

Organa laughs, open and delighted. “A wiser man than me. You have me at the advantage, but perhaps that’s to be expected.” Luthen runs renewed equations on how much is worth the risk divulging here and now, and wonders if he dares tell the man that they’ve been in a room together before. “In truth,” the senator muses before Luthen can make up his mind, “the regrettable incident on Miser – and, if you don’t already know, the ISB has made the ID – it came quick on the heels of a very great loss, the type that… rather shakes one’s faith in the purpose of it all.” He frowns down at his desk, lets the great weight of his troubles show through, just for a moment. “I suppose I was inclined to find some sign in it. And some conversations… demand directness, and damn the risk.”

This whole chapter was challenging for all scenes involving Luthen because he cycles through nerves, relief, shock, hope (dare I say even optimism??), and self-reflection and feels, and none of these come easy to tackle for the grumpy son-of-a-bitch LOL.

But I'm a little obsessed with the eps 11-12 unraveling of Luthen in the wake of Lonni's news and his desperation to find Cassian, and so it was fun to play with another series of events that shake him out of taciturn and uncompromising spy mode. This one was esp hard because finding Bail at the center of this web he's been chasing down was more important than the whole drawn-out convo that assuredly ensued, and so on the one hand we have legitimately shocked Luthen and on the other needing to do justice to Bail's short appearance and dialogue to get the point across without dragging the scene into territory that wasn't really necessary for the point of the fic.

Am happy enough with it but a bit...hm. Like - I want more, I just think it belongs to another (unwritten) fic.

What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

Been on a little writing break from Tether this past week, with plans to tackle the Yavin-Scarif leg of the story in the new year.

Have a small Mon Mothma project very slowly in the works, would like to give that the focus it deserves.

on something of a mission with a friend to go a little crackfic with some Cassian/Kleya LOL, so maybe that if I can find a fun premise to launch from.

In general: brain still consumed by Andor obviously. Just got the new Rebellion sourcebook so I'll be mining that for inspiration.