#i have to have a script before i talk and if they deviate from what I expect I just start saying things that don't make sense | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

softlypaintedseafoam · 5 months ago

Text

a blazing star sought refuge in my chest

synopsis. your contract was simple ー the control devil would not use her powers on you; you just needed to stay with her forever.

pairing. makima x f!reader (afab)

word count. 7.2k | masterlist

content warning. part 1 spoilers (manga spoilers), canon divergence (makima never meets denji), man is a blazing star (series), character death, reincarnation, "find me again" trope, use of y/n

reblogs & interactions appreciated.

and now part 2 of my beloved (to me) series is here! what's so funny to me is that i published this during the early days of part 2 and a day before nayuta made her reappearance in the manga! i always thought that was a fun coincidence!

i. ハッピーエンド

“So, how’s the married life treating you?” Himeno deviated completely from what you were initially discussing.

Perhaps ‘marriage’ wasn’t too far off from what your relationship actually was. A life-binding contract was marriage in its own right. Despite your musings, however, the truth of Makima’s identity as the Control Devil was a secret. Even if it was Himeno, you wouldn’t let that fact slip. “It’s not the married life,” you replied instead. “But yes, things are going great. Does everyone still hate me for taking away their queen?”

It was quite the uproar when you both announced your departure from the Devil Hunters. Makima received more flowers than you could carry on your last day. It had been several years since then and now you were nestled in Takamatsu in Kagawa Prefecture.

You managed to find work in translation, much to the joy of your family back home. “We have to meet this girl who got you to quit,” your mother insisted, she’d hear no objections. She might have wanted you to come home to your country in general, but she was happy nonetheless you were no longer hunting devils for a living.

Himeno’s snort told you as much. “I don’t think Nanaka will ever be over it.” Himeno snickered.

“I’m glad to hear she’s still alive and kicking regardless,” you replied honestly with a chuckle of your own. Even if you had never seen eye to eye, you wished the brunette the best as Himeno mentioned setting Nanaka up on a blind date. “How’s your new partner?”

Himeno’s voice was a mixture of satisfaction and melancholy. “Aki’s great, he’s still alive after all this time. I wish he’d just settle down now. I’m hoping this new division helps with that.”

Right, Himeno mentioned something about it before. A Division composed of tamed devils and fiends, though it would be terminated should there not be any good results. “Any new additions?”

“Since last time, the Blood Fiend actually. Other than that, there’s still just the Spider Devil with the Violence and Shark Fiends.”

“Any other blessings I should know about?” What about that Angel Devil you talked about? You still keeping his discovery secret?

“None for now.” Still my best kept secret in the village I found him in.

“I see.” Good for him.

It wasn’t too long ago Himeno had sent you a coded message detailing her orders. She requested that if things about him ever came to light, you and Makima would help somehow. The redhead didn’t seem too interested in this request, but she agreed when you asked. The Angel Devil is a peaceful one, Himeno detailed in her script. He doesn’t have what it takes to kill, so I just want him to stay with the humans that brought him up. The little guy even has a girlfriend. Humans and devils living in peace might be a reality one day, I’m just not naive enough to think that’ll happen overnight. Maybe that’s what won you over now that you thought about it.

“Well,” Himeno pulled you away from your thoughts and back into your conversation. “There is a Zombie Devil I’ll be snuffing out tomorrow morning, maybe that’ll be our new member.”

You grimaced at the thought of a zombifying-devil. “Even I think that’s a terrible idea and I’m the one who decided to become a devil hunter just so I could travel.”

“You think every idea I have is terrible.” Himeno whined.

“Not every idea,” you corrected with a teasing tone. “Only most of them.” Upon turning a corner, you viewed the welcoming sight of your apartment door. “But look, I’m just getting home so I’ll talk to you later. Try not to get yourself killed tomorrow.”

“Say ‘hi’ to the missus for me.” Himeno drawled before hanging up.

Still a maelstrom. It would always be a relief to hear from the playful devil hunter in spite of that maelstrom though. You sighed in satisfaction, reaching for your keys when the door opened on its own.

The breeze must have drifted your scent under the door, you figured, as you welcomed the comforting sight of your girlfriend. “Welcome home, [First].” Makima greeted you warmly as you walked into her embrace. “How was your day at work?”

“Peaceful,” you pecked her cheek before kissing her lips. “How about you? Busy day again?” You weren’t the only one to find new work after your resignation from the Devil Hunters. Makima took to working at a small but popular café in the neighborhood, preparing tea and crafting baked goods. She told you before baking was merely an activity she took up to alleviate her boredom, but it had since become something she enjoyed. It was beneficial to your being as well as you happily indulged in testing prospective new items on the menu for her.

“The choux crème has been a really popular item, more people are coming in for it.” Makima replied, satisfied. You blanched at the emphasis of the dessert name and the hounding sound of heavy paws heading your way. Your reaction, sadly, was too slow as Makima’s many dogs came to greet you like clockwork.

“Maki- nooo!” You sputtered as Makima laughed gleefully at the onslaught of wet tongues and wagging tails. “Tell them to get down!”

Makima’s expression was teasing, “but they’re so happy to see you come home, see?”

You dodged another lick from Macaron with expertise. “You’re not funny, I hope you know this,” yet the grin on your face said otherwise as Makima finally got her pups to relax. I guess I’ll be washing up sooner than expected.

“Someone looks like she’s in a good mood today,” you noted as you massaged lotion onto your freshly washed face. Bagheera and Tora welcomed you home, brushing against your legs now that their larger canid roommates finished their turn. Makima moved about the kitchen, making tea. “Did something good happen while you were out?”

“Your mother called today,” Makima answered with a small but satisfied smile. You couldn’t hold back a small grin of your own at those words. That action alone would probably give your girlfriend enough happiness to last several days. To earnestly earn the love of your family and feel as if she were part of it herself, it meant more to Makima than she could ever express. “She wanted to practice her Japanese before she came here.”

“My mom called and she just wanted to practice her Japanese with you?” You implored in disbelief once you settled on the couch, Makima sitting between your legs as she drank a hot cup of chai.

Your girlfriend’s smile was an uncanny replica of the Mona Lisa. “She asked why you haven’t proposed yet.”

“Now that sounds like my mother.”

Makima took a long sip of her tea before saying anything else. “Maybe we should be married in the human sense as well.” She set her cup down on the coffee table. “It’s the ultimate contract for humans.”

Your expression was curious. “You like the idea of marriage?”

“The idea of weddings was something I was always drawn to.” Her golden eyes had a distant look in them, her mind far beyond your comfortable living room with your many pets. Makima never went into the specifics of her childhood, but she told you enough to get the picture. She was simply one of the best kept secrets of the government; a young devil whisked off the streets of Tokyo to become a necessary evil. Concepts such as love, family and friendship were ones she learned from film and books. “The idea of binding yourself to another person for an eternity, it’s a concept I’m fond of. I wanted a big wedding.”

“I’m not opposed to a wedding,” you smiled. Marriage hadn’t been something you thought about prior to Makima. Your contract with her practically was one, all a wedding would make Makima’s integration into your family official. “I’m not sure if we have enough people in our lives to have the wedding size you’re thinking of, though.”

“I have plenty of people at the headquarters in Tokyo that would come if I asked.” Makima’s lips curved into a smile primal in nature while amusement danced in the rings of her irises. “Nanaka would for certain, she wouldn’t want to do anything to make me sad. If she’s still alive, we could extend her a personal invitation. What do you think?” At your dry look in response, your girlfriend chuckled lightly before pressing herself against your chest. “It’s a joke, I’m joking.” You decided to take her word for it. You always wondered to what extent it would be possible for Makima’s view of those who had fallen victim to her abilities as her equal. Perhaps it was one of those questions best left unanswered. “Weddings are one of those things that feel best when those in attendance truly care about the couple. I only want those people to come to our wedding.”

There was a lot of moral ambiguity that came with dating the Control Devil. Any devil really. You wondered if you were the only person in the world to do so, but you wanted to believe in the one you fell in love with.

Makima no longer relied on the fake relationships she manufactured with her abilities since your move to Takamatsu. Not for the interpersonal parodies she made to fill the loneliness inside her. She wasn’t perfect. Her first few weeks of generating business at her café were completely reliant on absolute control’s influence to bring customers in directly and through word of mouth. You were quite sure that power was how she obtained her job in the first place.

But you’re still trying your best. “There’ll be people like that,” you cradled Makima gently as you kissed her forehead. “My family loved you before even coming over to meet you properly. More of your regulars are just normal people you just happen to talk to daily. When the time comes, lots of people will be there just because they’re your friend.”

ii. 「純愛だよ」

There would be many people that would come to the wedding for Makima’s sake, that you were sure of. Kishibe of the Devil Hunters, however, would not be one of them. This you were certain of as you recalled the day you encountered him only a month after your resignation. If not for the way he intercepted you outside of your apartment building on your way home, definitely because of his cold but calculating stare.

When the man made no move to explain what he wanted, you decided to move your piece first. Nothing about the encounter felt coincidental as you were led to a place with as few people as possible. “So what do you want?” You had seen from the ground level that Makima had opened the window and you wondered if she knew of this sudden arrival. “I’ve been busy planning a move and I want to go home, it’s my turn to cook dinner tonight.” You dangled your small bag of groceries, a few ingredients required for the dish you planned to cook.

“You can’t spare a moment to talk to an old work buddy?” In spite of his words, there was no nostalgia or yearning in his tone. Kishibe held out his box of cigarettes to which you declined before he lit a cigarette of his own. “It’s been a while after all, we haven’t talked in so long.”

“We barely talked in the first place,” you replied tersely. Besides introducing you and Makima to one another, you seldom saw the man held as one of the strongest in the Bureau. He was an enigma, a drunk enigma who still managed to do his job well. You were doubtful you’d be able to hold your own against him for long. “Hit me with that line after it’s been a few years.”

“How is Makima?” Your eyes narrowed at the sudden question. “It was quite the surprise to everyone that she resigned. I’m surprised the higher ups weren’t more insistent that she stay.”

“Cut the crap and tell me why you’re here,” you crossed your arms and you shared a knowing look. Whatever it was, you were on the same pageー both of you knew more than what you initially assumed. “What is it that you need to know so you can get out of our hair?”

“I suppose we can drop the pleasantries then,” Kishibe put out his cigarette as quickly as he lit it. “I’ve never been fond of Makima, but I could always tolerate her. Whatever inhumane deeds she committed, as long as I knew she was on humanity’s side, I could always turn the other cheek.” Tired black eyes that knew too much glanced at you piercingly. “I just find it strange that she decided to leave the Bureau to play house with a new toy.”

Your eyebrow twitched, but you held back your anger. “Because she’s the Control Devil, you mean,” you chuckled humorlessly. “Were you the one that brought her to officials? You worried that your dog got off its leash? Or is it because that dog turned on its masters?”

Infuriatingly but unsurprisingly, the man didn’t answer any of your questions. “I was worried that the Control Devil forced you into making a contract with her.”

“Makima can’t force me to do anything,” you scowled.

“Did she make you make a contract with her?” Kishibe queried.

“That’s none of your business.” After a strong silence between you both, sighed. “It’s part of our contract,” you answered begrudgingly. It would be better to cooperate lest he decide to take action due to your insubordination. “Makima can’t use her powers on me. She couldn’t force me to do anything before anyway. I’m not sure about the specifics, neither is she. We just know she hasn’t been able to order me successfully.”

“And what does she gain from a contract like that?”

“We stay together forever,” a soft voice cut through the conversation before you could answer. Makima stood behind you in an accompaniment of caws and frantic wingbeats as crows dispersed from where she stood. You sighed in relief at her appearance, at the very least Kishibe was the only devil hunter that had come to inspect the motivations of the Control Devil. “Hello, Kishibe,” a cold smile spread across her lips as she softly nuzzled the crow perched on her forearm. “had I known you were coming, I would have made tea.”

“You don’t need to keep up appearances on my account,” the older man insisted gruffly as Makima sent her corvid on its way. “You’ve been listening since we left the apartment. You left the window open.”

The redhead seemed to take a dark thrill in this moment, “yes I suppose we don’t have to keep up those things,” she agreed fluidly. “I wanted to keep a listen out for [First] so I could greet her at the door when she came home. Anyone would worry about their beloved when a strange man intercepts them.”

I do not need a fight breaking out. Makima versus Kishibe, you worried less about the physical outcome. No, you were fearful of what the long-term consequences of this fight would be. “Makima,” you stepped between the devil and the hunter. “we finished talking, let’s go home. He got the answers he was looking for.”

Makima’s smile shifted into one warmer for you, “yes, let’s go home.” You held her hand with the one not holding groceries and gave it a squeeze, Makima squeezed back.

You glanced at Kishibe over your shoulder, “you have the answers you’re looking for,” you repeated.

It’s-

iii. ごめんな

Your wet cough tore you away from your memories. It hurt, it hurt, everything hurt. It all hurt, yet you couldn’t react beyond a weak gasp as you laid on the ground, crushed under debris. Ah, this sucks.

You get off hours early from work, and a devil decides to attack. Perhaps it was muscle memory from your devil hunting days as you absently reached for a weapon that was no longer there. It had long since been confiscated after you resigned, civilians had no need for such weapons. Yet the horrifying realization that your sword was gone, was all the devil needed before gleefully thrusting its hand through your stomach. This all sucking was truly the understatement. Where were the devil hunters patrolling the area supposed to be, stopping to get lunch?

Today was supposed to be a good day, you lamented.

Your half-day at work aligned perfectly with Makima’s off-day. You were supposed to swing by and change into something comfortable, then you’d hit the town. You recalled the dress she said she would wear. It was gonna be that white sundress she got last year, she looks so good in that.

She was waiting for you.

That was what hurt you the most. Makima and the makeshift home you made for yourself. The two cats that slept anywhere that inconvenienced you and the seven dogs that welcomed you home rambunctiously everyday yet you were somehow still surprised when it happened. Makimaー

Your phone rang in the distance for the fifth time in the past six minutes.

I’m a terrible girlfriend, you berated yourself. You couldn’t crawl to it and your arms refused to move no matter how much you willed for your adrenaline to make a miracle happen. I’m sorry, you weeped quietly as your phone fell silent before the sharp trill of your ringtone started all over again. I’m so sorry.

You weren’t particularly religious, nor were you sure if there was a god that they would stop to listen to hear prayers for the sake of a devil. Still, you prayed. please let her be okay. I’m okay with dying as long as she’ll be okay. Don’t let this be what makes her lose hope in everything. I want her to be loved for the rest of her life.

Whether it was by your family that survived you, whether it was by the friends, whether it was by someone else who loved her beyond the controls of her abilities. Anything would be better than her being alone again.

Please.

The continuous trill of your cell phone accompanied you until your eyes closed, and your chest stopped heaving.

iv. 彦星と織姫の物語

At five years of age, you dreamed of a prince on a magnificent horse saving you from a life of despair.

The world was unimaginable without your parents.

And you were sure you were born for a special purpose, a belief amplified by the strong feeling something was missing in your life and you needed to find it.

At thirteen years of age, you understood how the world truly worked.

The world continued despite the loss of your parents.

There were no princes riding on magnificent horses and there wasn’t anybody who would save you from the despair-filled life you were living.

And no one was born with a special purpose in life, not even you.

One… two… three… four… You held yourself tightly, forehead pressed against your knees as you waited for the sound of rushing footsteps to fade. It was just your luck that you ran into cops that found it more than a little suspicious that a preteen was wandering around instead of at school. They were unconvinced when you told them you were homeschooled and a kick to the shin later, you were hiding in an alley. Just a little while longer, you whispered, hugging yourself tighter. There was no prince that was going to come and save you, you realized this the moment your parents died and you were left alone in the streets of Beijing to fend for yourself. You became your own prince.

That was why you stole from merchants, that was why you picked pockets of anyone gullible enough to let their guard down.

You stood up from your crouch when you were sure the police officers were gone. You’d earned enough cash that day and something for dinner to boot. It was time to go home before you got too cocky and landed yourself in trouble. You patted your pocket with the squished meat buns in them. That would be enough to get through today.

You just needed to save. You were unsure of the amount you needed to save, but once you had enough, you would be able to get out of this place. That belief reassured you more than anything, it certainly reassured you more than the dead magpie your right foot nearly touched. Ew gross! You nearly touched another in your attempt to avoid the first. The cats would be in heaven later when they found this spot you grimly thought.

You glanced to your right, wondering if this would be a decent alley to leave into the main street when you saw a girl your age sitting with her knees bunched to her chest. You couldn’t see her face from how she was hunched over, nor did you trust her. It didn’t look like she was with anyone else, though it crossed your mind that maybe she was a decoy so you could get jumped.

You glanced over your shoulder without turning, relieved no one was standing behind you. You’d seen it happen more than once, you weren’t going to be another victim. Promptly, you turned around, more than willing to pretend you never saw the girl in the first place and exit in the opposite direction when-

Growl.

No, you told yourself sharply as you paused midstep. Giving someone else your food would be a terrible idea. She can find something for herself.

That was what you told yourself; it was what you told yourself and you still begrudgingly turned around, stomping your feet all the while when there was no one to be mad at but yourself.

“Here,” you grumbled without looking at the girl, holding your misshapen haul over her. “take it before I change my mind.” When she made no move to take the buns from your hand, you dropped them in front of her. The wrapping would keep the dirt off of them. “You’re welcome,” you sighed as you finally took your leave. Your only consolation was that she wasn’t a decoy that would lead to your ass getting kicked. There goes dinner.

When you felt a gentle tug on your sleeve, instinctively you jerked away.

You glared at the girl, ready for a fight. “Hey get off of m-,” You. Your words halted as soon as you saw her wide-eyed stare and tears. There was nothing familiar about this girl, you had never seen her before in your life. There was nothing familiar about her black hair, nor the mole under her left eye. You were sure you couldn’t say you’d ever met anyone with golden eyes with red rings in them either. There was no reason to feel like your senses had been set ablaze and the universe shifted.

You didn’t know this girl.

This girl was a stranger.

You knew this and yet you still fell to your knees as warm tears flooded your eyes without your permission. Your mind had gone blank, unable to conjure a single thought and even if you could, you doubted you would be able to voice them. So you followed instinct as it screamed at you to hold this stranger in your arms, welcomed the way she threw her arms over your shoulders in return.

An indeterminable amount of time passed while you cried in the arms of a stranger before you stood up again.

As you wordlessly led her to your home, it vaguely crossed your mind how strange this was. It was strange that you held this girl’s hand while you crossed the street. It was strange that you led her into the abandoned apartment building you called home. It was even stranger that despite only meeting a few hours prior, you were laying with this girl on your tattered bed, holding each other like you were scared you’d disappear if you let go.

It was all strange, but something told you it would be even stranger had you ignored her in that alleyway. “By the way,” you yawned, as it dawned on you that you never once asked for your new companion’s name. “what’s your name?”

When there was no immediate response, you thought the girl fell asleep. “Nayuta,” you finally heard the feathery light reply. Nayuta pressed herself closely to your chest, listening to your heartbeat.

“I’m [First],” you squeezed.

Nayuta squeezed back.

v.「行かないで！行かないで！行かないで！どこにもいけないで！離れないで！あたしのそばにずっといて！」支配の悪魔が叫んだ。魂が叫んだ。

You discovered Nayuta was a devil less than a month after you started living together. She did a terrible job hiding it. Considering how airheaded she could be, though, you doubted Nayuta was truly trying to keep it a secret. Still, the truth of her nature eluded you for a few weeks as you initially accepted that perhaps these things were simple coincidences.

Her eyes were unlike anyone else’s eyes you’d ever seen. (You wondered for a while if they were special contacts, but if they were, they were beyond dried and damaged considering she never took them out.)

Animals listened to her way too easily. (There was no longer any need to fight off the crows when they got too close to your meal. A simple “go away” from your companion, and they would fly off just as she commanded.)

There was the time you bore witness to something you wouldn’t have believed had you not seen it yourself. Nayuta walked up to an older woman, held out her hand and plainly demanded, “give me all your money.” Promptly, all the yuan in the woman’s wallet was placed in Nayuta’s hand.

(“That old lady just gave you all her money?” You gawked in disbelief, eyes bulging out of their sockets. “How?!”

“I told her to give it to me,” Nayuta told you plainly, like she was telling you the sky was blue. Then she told you she wanted soup dumplings and jianbing for lunch.)

As such, it was no wonder why you found yourself thinking that she was a devil. It never crossed your mind that perhaps she had another sort of trick up her sleeve. Devil was the first thing that came to your mind and the only answer you felt was right.

“Hey, Nayuta,” you asked after much contemplation, watching as she drew a dog on the dirty hardwood floor of your home. Your belly was full from eating roujiamo and candied hawthorns, purchased with money Nayuta got from a mean teenager. “are you a devil?”

Nayuta paused her ministrations, staring at her rough sketch before she nodded, “yeah.” Her revelation wasn’t a surprise in the slightest. Gold eyes stared into yours as you thought over your next question. Were you scared of her now? No, you answered your internal pondering quickly. Being scared of Nayuta felt like an inherent rejection of what made you ‘you’. You’d never be scared of her, there was nothing intimidating about a devil who wanted a large dog so she could ride atop it like it was a horse. Instead you asked, “what kind of devil are you?”

“The Control Devil,” she answered truthfully.

“Have you ever used your powers on me?”

It was like a dam suddenly broke as Nayuta’s expression suddenly changed from blasé to fearful. “I haven’t!” When did she even get in front of you? It felt like you had only blinked once before she was standing right in front of you, grabbing your hands tightly as she shook her head frantically. “I haven’t!” She repeated desperately and you almost took a step back in bewilderment. You hadn’t seen Nayuta cry since the day you first met but you could tell these tears were different.

Her tears from your first meeting were inexplicable. A visceral reaction to whatever emotion took over the both of you that day. These tears were based on fright and distress.

“Na-,” you tried consoling the girl, but panic had overtaken her completely.

“I didn’t, [First], please believe me!” Nayuta begged hysterically, her grip on your hands somehow tighter. “Don’t leave me!”

“I believe you!” Your heart felt like it was beating a million kilometers a second, but you had to convey how you felt. Nayuta looked as if she was going to cry once more, scared but hopeful.“I believe you,” you repeated softly. “I’m not gonna leave you.”

vi. 誓いの言葉

Nayuta wasn’t much of a talker.

That wasn’t to say she was timid, nor was she diffident. It was more like she was an airhead who skipped to the beat of her own drum. She did as she pleased and she said what was on her mind as it came to her mind. That was how you often ended up spending hours of your day looking for her if she suddenly ran off to find something that piqued her interest or keen sense of smell.

This time thankfully, she’d only been drawn to the display TV in front of a store. That was leagues better than the time she’d wanted to see why two cats were fighting in an alley.

You shot the girl an incredulous look, hands on your hips. “I keep telling you not to let go of my hand when we walk, you always get lost,” you scolded, more concerned than annoyed. The last thing you wanted was for Nayuta to run into devil hunters while you were separated. It was your worst fear that she would be taken from you and killed. Despite your worries, however, it didn’t always prevent instances when something would catch Nayuta’s eye and she’d let go of your hand in favor of checking out.

“[First],” Nayuta pointed at the television, completely ignoring your worry. “[First], I want one of these.”

You pursed your lips in annoyance knowing Nayuta had moved well beyond the matter at hand. At the excited look in her ringed eyes, however, you felt your annoyance fading faster than you’d like. “You want what?” You looked at the TV, wondering what grabbed her attention so much. It was a wedding, you realized after a few seconds. The wedding was western style, the bride donning a beautiful white dress. “Do you want the dress?” There was absolutely no way you’d be able to finesse a wedding dress no matter how hard you tried.

“I want the wedding.” That made you look at her even more wide-eyed than before.

“We can’t afford something like that!” You held up your hand before she could make her ridiculous suggestion. “And they won’t let two kids get married anyway, we’d have to wait until…” you honestly weren’t sure, now that you thought about it. You shook your head and Nayuta’s brow furrowed with a disgruntled pout, “anyways, we can’t have a wedding like that, it costs too much money.” When Nayuta didn’t reply, you poked her cheek. “You okay?”

Nayuta’s following grunt was neither in agreement or disagreement. When she didn’t object to you holding her hand, you held back a snort of amusement as you led the way home. It became apparent later on, when Nayuta approached you with your off-white bed sheet, however, that she had not gotten over the topic of weddings.

“It’s my veil,” Nayuta said as much when you asked why she was wearing your sheet. “I want the wedding now.”

“If you don’t put the sheet back on the bed, it’s the only one we have!” Laughter slipped through your words at the ridiculous display. But she’s still really cute. A total dork, but cute. Your hands moved to adjust her ‘veil’ more evenly on her head. You wanted to marry Nayuta when you grew up; when you had your house and weren’t living off scraps. Then her veil wouldn’t be the dirty sheet you laid on and she could wear the princess-style gown that you saw in the movie, not the dirty clothes you wore everyday. That was a long day away, you knew. It was hard enough imagining that you’d ever be somewhere better than this. “Okay,” you said warmly. “let’s have a wedding.”

Nayuta beamed, holding her head high, before she noticed the sheet slipping. You couldn’t hold back another snicker at that, “we have to say the vows first,” you instructed. “It’s where we promise each other the things we’ll do for each other once we’re married.” Your mother was fond of movies where weddings were the center of the plot, but you couldn’t recall any of the vows expressed in them. “I promise…” you began, pondering what you would say. I promise that first, I’ll get you a big house. One that has lots of dogs, well, as long as they’re cats too. We’ll have food from all over the world because we’ll have some fancy butler make it for us, and when we feel like it, we’ll go to any amusement park we want. And I’ll protect you from any devil hunter we come across.”

“I promise that I’ll be with you forever,” Nayuta followed seamlessly in your exchanging of vows. “I won’t use my powers on you. I won’t let go of your hand when we go out, because you get upset when I get lost. And I promise I’ll protect you too.”

You grinned, content. “Now we have to kiss too.” It was a quick kiss, a simple peck on the lips before you rested your forehead on hers. “And I now pronounce us wife and wife.” The imaginary audience applauded, welcoming your union in open arms.

“The people in the movie were dancing too afterwards,” Nayuta chirped after a moment.

“That’s because we’re supposed to have our first dance as a married couple afterwards,” you replied. The sheet, unfortunately, could not keep up with your dancing even if it was a slow waltz to an unknown melody you made on the spot.

“I want a real wedding this time.”

I do too. “We can get married for real when we grow up,” you vowed once more as you clumsily led each other in your dance.

Nayuta’s smile was saccharin, “promise?”

“Promise,” you repeated joyously. “it’ll be in a fancy hall with lots of people.” Not that either of you knew enough people to have even a small number of guests at your wedding. But that could change by the time you are grownups.

vii. 旧友

The day the devil hunters came was a blur.

You weren’t sure what it was that led to their discovery of Nayuta. You could only guess in the future that it was because of the trail of people who complained that their money had been stolen and they couldn’t remember how. At the time, guessing wasn’t going to get you out of the situation you landed yourselves in.

They didn’t buy your usual excuses.

There wasn’t anywhere to run in the corner they expertly trapped you in as you ran away, believing you had been making progress in losing the one following you.

You held your arms out between, knowing full well you were a flimsy shield to someone trained to kill devils.

Nayuta fingers dug into the back of your shirt, body tense. Her abilities required she believe one was lesser than her for her to order them, that was impossible when you were both scared out of your wits cornered with nowhere to go.

The woman kept an eye on you both, weapon drawn in one hand, phone in the other. “I found the C-” were the only words she managed to get out when she suddenly collapsed, revealing the scarred old man behind her. You learned later he called himself Kishibe.

You weren’t sure if you should have felt relieved when you saw the old man, suited up as any other devil hunter would be. You didn’t like him, that much you had decided in your silent stare down.

He released a raspy sigh, humming thoughtfully as he crushed the unconscious woman’s phone. “I came here expecting to only find one of you,” the man scratched the side of his head sluggishly. He eyed you carefully with a sense of recognition you couldn’t quite place before his eyes drifted to Nayuta beside you. “The Control Devil really is a selfish one.”

viii. マキマとナユタ

“You’re starting to look like me, Himeno.” It had been years since he’d last seen the woman and she seemed tired beyond her years. If Life played favorites, it was more than apparent Himeno was not one of that group. Aki died, succumbing to his final two years to live. The Chainsaw kid took off before then in the aftermath of the brief but chaotic attack of the Bomb Devil. Perhaps she’d been driven mad, perhaps she craved being the country mouse of Aesop’s fable. It was all the woman could do to run off with sister and the Blood Fiend, nestled in the quiet coastal town of Shonai in Yamagata Prefecture.

“It’s rude to point out a lady’s age, sir.” Himeno accepted the cigarette regardless. A large portion of her bangs were white and gray, her eye showing signs of crow’s feet. “What are you doing in little ole Shonai?” Smoke wafted from her mouth with a soft exhale.

“I started my own delivery service,” Kishibe gestured his cigarette to his car. “and you’re my first and only customer.”

Himeno’s smile was amused, but her one visible eye was anything but. “Funny, I don’t recall me or my sister ordering anything.”

“Consider this your lucky day then, it’s the delivery of a lifetime.” Kishibe didn’t miss a beat. “It’s a two-for-one deal.”

“I’ve had enough once-in-a-lifetime deals.” Himeno crushed her cigarette on the bottom of her foot before flicking it to the wayside. With more than a hint of finality, she waved and walked in the opposite direction of his vehicle. “Whatever it is, you should keep it to-”

“It’s the new Control Devil.” Those words made Himeno stop in her tracks. “They discovered her in China, but I managed to nick her.” Just in time to thwart disaster. Makima had been a ticking time bomb that had been staved off successfully when ー appeared in her life. That timer began once again when ー was killed in an attack by the Rat Devil. If the Chinese government had disposed of your current incarnation in front of the new Control Devil, Kishibe knew that there would have been no preventing the hell that would be unleashed upon the world.

Still, it would be best for the two of you to be protected til you could properly fend for yourselves.

Himeno’s shoulder shook for a few moments, it wasn’t hard to imagine the thoughts going through her head. I can keep on walking, she possibly thought. I can pretend I didn’t hear anything. Yet human nature got the better of her, Himeno sighing shakily, “why’d you bring her to me?”

“I’m not fit to raise children and out of all my old contacts, you’re the one I trust the most to do a good job handling her.” Kishibe answered truthfully. Not even Quanxi could be relied on for such a task. As much as he trusted his unrequited love, he knew the woman would have less of an interest in raising children than she did his old advances.

“What’s the second part of the deal?”

“Take a look in the car.”

Warily, the former devil hunter turned around, taking slow steps towards the car and leaned close to the window.

Himeno said nothing for a while as Kishibe watched her back, knowing that she was likely experiencing a strong wave of emotion. Everything likely clicked the moment she saw you. The same skin tone, the same hair texture, everything exactly the same as she remembered. “ー always knew about Makima, didn’t she.” Despite her phrasing, it was not a question. It was a soft, emotional observation.

“This new one shouldn’t have any of Makima’s old memories, but it seems this is one attachment she can’t shake.” Perhaps this was part of their contract. Leave it to Makima to make the implausible possible. The life of a devil may have been cyclical in nature, but reincarnation among humans was unproven. Yet here you were in all your similarities to ー. Kishibe didn’t ponder what this meant for humanity. If this meant his old buddies were somewhere walking around earth as new beings. Perhaps you were simply an exception, a product of the contract ー made with Makima. Makima did say you’d stay together forever.

Kishibe doubted he would ever receive an answer. All he was certain was that if you were the one thing keeping the Control Devil from wreaking havoc on the world, you were a necessary piece of the puzzle.

“This one isn’t ー either, she’s [First]. She doesn’t have any memories from before.” Kishibe warned, lightly tapping Himeno’s shoulder. He didn’t need the woman to get any false hopes. ー was dead, there was no doubt about it. The age separating Himeno and yourself was succinct proof. You weren’t the friend she lost more than a decade prior. “If you really can’t handle it, I’ll figure things out.”

Himeno’s one blue eye shone with more fire he’d seen since the last time he’d seen her. “I’m glad you feel that way,” the man tipped his proverbial hat to her. “I’ll be back when they’re old enough for defense training.”

“Hey, Gramps, where are we?” You demanded once you had woken up, rubbing your eyes tiredly. He might have saved your life, but he had kept you in the dark long enough.

Nayuta ungraciously yawned,“I have to pee.”

The wizened man took a hard look at the pack of cigarettes in his hand before shoving it in his pocket, sighing heavily. “We’re in Shonai over in Japan.” At last, he introduced the woman next to him. “This is Himeno, she’ll be taking care of you both from now on.”

You shared a look with Nayuta, wondering if this place would really be the best for you. It beats living where we were though, you were forced to admit. A part of you would miss the room you and Nayuta called home for the longest time, where you had your wedding and where you drew on the floor when you got bored. But you planned to leave that building someday, hoping you’d be leading a better life by then. ‘Someday’ simply came faster than you expected.

Thanks, old man, you doubted you would see much of him again though as you saw his car become smaller and smaller in the distance.

“Do either of you like cartoons?” Himeno asked when it was just the three of you. “What do you like watching?” When neither of you could come up with a response, Himeno cheerily made the decision for you. “We have the complete Ashita no Nadja set at home, we can watch that when we get there. But since we’re celebrating your arrival, you have to pick dinner.”

Nayuta wasted no time in answering that question, “I want pancakes.”

You rolled your eyes, bemused. “What if I want burgers though?”

Nayuta looked at you carefully, as if she hadn’t considered the possibility. “We want burgers and pancakes,” she told Himeno a second later.

translation notes:

i. happy end ii. it’s pure love iii. sorry iv. the story of hikoboshi and orihime v. “don’t go, don’t go, don’t go! don’t go anywhere! don’t go away! stay with me forever!” the control devil shouted. her soul shouted. vi. word of oath vii. old friend viii. makima and nayuta

<- part 1 | part 3 ->

#romance dawn ー 🌅#chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #makima x reader #series: man is a blazing star ー 💫

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auncyen · 1 year ago

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(this is slightly morbid but nothing bad actually happens. If that makes sense.)

"Oh, cruel whimsy," Siffrin whispers right of Odile.

"Oh, cruel whimsy!" Siffrin wails from below as he lies, sprawled dramatically, dying.

Odile's seat vibrates because of how excited Siffrin is next to her. "Now leave me, light--" they continue.

"--let all shade come upon me--"

"--and with this last Change--"

"--I end this sordid tale, and pray my next be humorous enough to remedy."

The Siffrin on stage finally dies several minutes after he should have passed out from blood loss. The curtain falls. The Siffrin next to Odile claps wildly, shouting along with the crowd. "Bravo! Bravo!!!"

Mirabelle, on Odile's left, is still crying from the play's tragedy, but has recovered enough to comment, "that's another liberty they took. We don't all believe in reincarnation. It's mostly the Houses in Brisseau."

"And that's fine?" Odile asks, raising her voice just enough to cut through the applause around them.

Mirabelle shrugs, dabbing at her eyes. "The Change religion doesn't focus too much on what happens after death anyway, so it's not really that big a deal, I guess?"

"I don't think the Poterians are worried about accuracy anyway," Odile says, casting an eye around them before focusing on Siffrin--their Siffrin, not the actor who is back on their feet now that the curtain has risen again and taking a bow.

She cannot believe this is the first play Siffrin wanted to see. They'd loved plays, yes, but then those two strange days in Dormont happened, and the first time Isabeau suggested watching a play as a way to take their minds off things for a bit, Siffrin had gotten the strangest look on his face before saying he wasn't really in the mood and maybe they could just look around the market instead. They'd left the topic there for the day, but slowly, with a joint effort, they'd gotten Siffrin to talk about how he'd come to think of life as a play during the loops. They were supposed to say these things to Isabeau, or Odile, or Mirabelle or Boniface, and then the others would always say the same lines, and sometimes deviating from the script was good and created a better script and sometimes it resulted in something so awful that they immediately messed up the next loop and then spent the next six strictly following the better script and making everyone smile, over and over again, so that that "bad loops" wouldn't count anymore. Which was completely illogical, but Odile had to assume whatever had happened--Siffrin had yet to talk about whatever that was--had been traumatizing enough to make Siffrin cling to the safety of repetition even as it was driving them insane.

Needless to say, plays had been taboo for some time. Mirabelle hadn't even been sure at first if she could talk about her books, if any fiction might make Siffrin uneasy, but Siffrin had taken her not reading books by them as her not having any and had dragged Odile on a Secret Quest to procure some, so books were clearly safe.

The taboo on plays was broken today, when Boniface noticed Siffrin's name on a flier and immediately called it out, making everyone notice it. It hadn't taken very long for awkwardness to settle in as they all read further and realized "Siffrin" was the titular character of a play, but before Isabeau or Mirabelle could find a distraction, Siffrin had lit up. "...My name! I named myself after the hero! I love this--that is--" His cheeks shaded with fluster as he realized just how enthusiastic he'd gotten. "...can we go see it?"

It had been a unanimous yes, of course. If Siffrin was rediscovering an interest the loops had taken from them, good. Of course they'd watch it, both to make sure Siffrin enjoyed themself and because they were all a little curious what Siffrin had seen in this play to name himself after it.

Well.

"...Wait, where's Bonnie and Nille?" Siffrin was asking. With the play over, he was finally regaining awareness of his surroundings and noticing the other seats in the aisle, already empty. "Isa?"

"...Boniface went out with Petronille because they were uncomfortable with how dark it was getting--we all warned them it was a tragedy, please don't feel guilty, Siffrin," Odile says when Siffrin's face falls. "They knew they might be uncomfortable, they still wanted to try, and they left with their sister when they realized they might get upset. I'm sure Boniface is fine."

"Okay...Isa...?"

Odile is certain Isabeau walked out because he'd overthought the connection between Siffrin naming himself after a character who was from the start of the play almost certain to die at the end of it. She's certain, because she's overthinking it herself. "I'm not sure," she says instead, because he didn't actually tell her that and she'd rather not put words in anyone's mouth with a topic this delicate. "So why did you name yourself after the hero?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Siffrin asks.

She doesn't like the answer that seems obvious. "I'd like to hear your own thought process, though."

Siffrin bounces on their feet. "That monologue in act four--and his banter with Gaston! I can't believe I remember so much of it!"

It is impressive how good their memory is with plays, and Odile wonders if it's because plays, while inspired by the real world, very much take place in their own little worlds, far from memory-erasing islands.

"And, well..." Siffrin sobers. "He loses everything in the play. And I--I guess--I don't really remember if I tried telling people or not, about my past, but I don't think I felt like anyone would have believed me...so...it's not the same, he still remembers, but he felt that sad and everyone feels bad for him, so... it felt like a relief that way?" He shrugs, awkwardly.

"Oh," Mirabelle says, clapping her hands together as she stands up. "Now I get why you like these plays! It's the catharsis!"

Siffrin brightens with a smile at Mirabelle. "That's it! The catharsis."

"I see," Odile says, hoping the relief isn't too obvious in her voice. Yes, she and Isabeau definitely overthought this.

#in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #siffrin #mirabelle #odile

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pumpkinmetaphor · 1 year ago

Text

Ouran, Performance, Audience

Okay I said I was going to write this and I can't look at it anymore so posting. Anyway, performance in Ouran is interesting and we’ve all been chatting about it lately. Each character puts on an “act” for the guests, each character puts on another “act” for the people around them. It’s a testament to how well the characters are written that we can unravel these performances throughout the text. I still think there’s several levels of reading the characters and the text as well.

Ouran is satire- hence why they’re essentially parodying these archetypes. But Ouran is also self-aware, self-referential, and meta. Characters break the fourth wall. They’re, at varying levels, aware of being in a story. We have characters who obviously break the fourth wall (Kyoya looking right into the camera in episode 1, for example. I would say Tamaki’s “homosexual supporting cast” speech, except it’s kind of an anomaly for him) and characters who are resistant to any sort of self-reflection that might lead them to any sort of conclusions like this (Hikaru.) I will at one point go through the entire manga again and count how many times each character narrates– which, to my recollection, is uncommon outside of Haruhi (MC obvs, and framed as talking to her mother) and Kaoru (framed as talking to himself/ the audience/ Hikaru-that-lives-in-his-brain) but I could be misremembering.

This is generally played for comedic effect. Tamaki breaks the fourth wall when it’s funny. Kyoya plays dumb about plot conventions (such as “we have birthdays here?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”) when it’s funny for him to do so.

Anyway that’s just my setup. I want to discuss the Paris Arc, specifically whatever is going on with Kaoru.

Read More because this is 2k words.

Kaoru is an interesting character because I think the performance is a little more pronounced. There’s reason to interpret he generally controls the scripts, his host club act is a bigger deviation from his natural personality, and fundamentally, as a person, Kaoru is less solid in his sense of identity.

Which does kind of beg a question. The version of Kaoru the host club girls get is clearly fake. But the Kaoru most people get is some form of a mask. Kaoru reflects Hikaru– which is what Hikaru needs until Kaoru fears he doesn’t. Kaoru seems to take Haruhi’s assertion that he’s the “less evil one” to heart. I think neither Hikaru or Kaoru know what Haruhi is going to say is the difference between them in Episode/Chapter 5 because they themselves don’t know– aside from this very philosophical “well the one who is you is the one who is not me and the one who is not you is me etc.”

Anyway, we all kind of understand the general baseline– Hikaru is going to grow up, fall in love, and spread his wings– Kaoru is afraid this means Hikaru will leave him behind. This is the plot.

But I think a lot of this comes down to “the thing they won’t be able to share,” which is presented to us in the form of that cookie. Haruhi notes that Kaoru will just give whatever it is to Hikaru. Hikaru ultimately snaps the cookie in half and forces Kaoru to take half of it anyway. This kind of embodies the fundamental difference between them, in my book.

(Ch. 45, various spliced together pages) Hikaru: It is literally not on Hikaru’s radar that there might ever be anything that he and Kaoru do not share. He does not conceive this on any level before the Paris Arc. Kaoru will literally always be here, he is a constant that Hikaru cannot conceive losing. Hikaru’s not afraid of Kaoru abandoning him– he may be, afraid something will happen to Kaoru that will take him away, but he’s not afraid of Kaoru choosing to leave. Why would he? Kaoru is the one person who cannot betray him.

Kaoru: It is a given that Hikaru will one day leave. It is simply the only way. Hikaru will grow up and, for various reasons, Kaoru will not grow with him. And Hikaru will choose to leave– this will not be a betrayal, it’s just how life works when you’re not the main character in your story. Your carriage turns back into a grubby ole pumpkin and you’re left all alone.

After the cookie scene, Kaoru tells Hani that he has feelings for Haruhi. This is, in my opinion, when Kaoru takes the reins of the narrative. Of the carriage, so to speak. The carriage in the anime exists on the condition that no one acknowledges that they’re in a love story and “breaks” the found family. Kaoru saying he’s in love with Haruhi steers the narrative on the course to the inevitable.

Which is great!

Except is Kaoru in love with Haruhi?

My hypothesis: it literally doesn’t matter. Kaoru’s feelings for Haruhi do not drive the narrative. Kaoru talking about it does. He could be lying. He could be mistaken. He could be genuinely in love with her. It could be an idle crush. It doesn’t matter. It’s the performance of this love for the appropriate audience (aka: Hani, Hikaru etc.) that matters.

I think the base reading of this arc is that the cookie is Haruhi. Haruhi is the one thing they can’t share, right? They can’t like, keep eating biscuits out of her mouth and licking her face if Hikaru wants her to be his girlfriend and Kaoru wants her too. While I don’t think it’s incorrect to read this as a concern Kaoru has, I don’t think it gets to the heart of the issue.

So, performance!

Kaoru puts on his little act for Hikaru throughout the Paris Arc. Generally tormenting him, ostracising him. In a way giving him a taste of what Kaoru goes through in a zillion Hika/Haru fanfictions or Kaoru’s own nightmares. This culminates in the date, where Kaoru basically brings Haruhi on the date he asked her on first (before giving it to Hikaru) and hitting every single mark that Hikaru missed. Not that anyone is enjoying themselves regardless to be honest.

And of course, at the end, he kisses her and Hikaru sees and runs off upset.

Except we, the audience, know Kaoru kisses Haruhi on the cheek. It’s a clear enough stage kiss from the art. Just close enough for us to understand that, from Hikaru’s perspective, Kaoru kissed her on the mouth. We’re bystanders, watching this plot unfold. Hikaru is Kaoru’s intended audience– that’s who he’s performing for.

So what’s the difference then between this scene.

And this scene?

Well, first: what else can be the one thing Hikaru and Kaoru can’t share? If you go one level further, I think you come to the conclusion that Hikaru is the one thing they can’t share. After all, Hikaru cannot keep giving half of himself, half of his time, energy, love, self etc. to Kaoru all the time, and grow up. They suffer a classic case of enmeshment. Kaoru determines that Hikaru needs to be shoved out of the nest– and that the only way to do that is to stab him in the back.

I don’t think Kaoru is trying to make Hikaru hate him. I do think what he’s trying to do is make Hikaru realise that he’s a person? Who is capable of betraying him, just like any other person. As long as Hikaru believes that Kaoru is “the only person he can trust,” he’s never going to grow up. By knocking himself off that pedestal in Hikaru’s eyes, Hikaru is forced to see him differently and Kaoru is prepared to accept however Hikaru might feel about him in the aftermath (though assuming he’ll drastically distance himself).

(Side note. I think Hikaru and Kaoru internalise their maid-related-trauma slightly differently. While Kaoru’s fear is abandonment, Hikaru’s fear is betrayal. They just manifest similarly because there’s a lot of crossover. This is sooo long already, I’m not getting into it unless someone asks lmao.)

Loop back to the image again then. What’s the difference here? Well, it’s still a stage kiss! They both are. But, with one fundamental difference.

Image one, Hikaru is Kaoru’s audience. He is performing to trick Hikaru (and possibly anyone else, like Hani and Mori, watching). But reality is clear to us, the reader.

Image two, you are Kaoru’s audience. He is performing to trick you. (but reality is clear to Hikaru, the participant)

Like, that’s pretty in your face huh? Faces obscured in a way that you don’t infer it as a cheek kiss as easily as you do with Kaoru and Haruhi. It’s also on the left page of the physical edition, meaning you have to skip to the next page to see the aftermath:

Kaoru’s not just tricking the audience. He’s queerbaiting the audience. Typical.

Firstly, I do think one can be led to the conclusion that if the one thing they can’t share is Hikaru, not Haruhi, that means Kaoru is not in love with Haruhi but is in love with Hikaru. In fact, I think that’s kind of the point with these panels. It’s framed as a bait-switch, which only works if the audience misinterprets the kiss. My ultimate conclusion therefore is that there is no textual romantic incest occuring. It is enmeshment at a bare minimum though. But that's another topic, another day, for somebody else.

Secondly, I think this is because the audience is, regardless, on the wrong track. Or at least not the full track. We have access to the narrative when other characters don’t, but we’re still reading the story Kaoru is telling. We’re still the audience to his performance of the story. It’s easier for Kaoru to tell a story that’s all about his brother– he’s been doing it his whole life. He’s not the main character, after all. So he’s telling us a story where the one thing they cannot share is Hikaru, telling all the other characters a story where the one thing they can’t share is Haruhi.

So the one thing they can’t share is something more nebulous. It’s the identity.

Which feels like a contradiction in a way, because the identity is Hikaru, isn't it?

They can’t be one double act, split down the middle. They can’t be one seed sprouting two leaves. They can’t be two halves of one cookie, or two halves of one soul. And the problem is, Kaoru views everything as something Hikaru has split down the middle and shared with him– and now he has to give it all back.

I don’t really think Hikaru views “their room” as being “his room, that I share with Kaoru.” But I think Kaoru does. I think Kaoru views everything as something Hikaru has shared with him, right down to his own personality, his own face. Hikaru cannot leave, cannot grow up, unless Kaoru stops pretending to be him and gives him the half of his identity back to make one whole, true Hikaru.

Only problem is, Kaoru has to cut that tricky spare leaf off. After all, when he gives Hikaru back the identity, Kaoru won’t have one. Kaoru is defined as being “the one who is not Hikaru.” My brother is Hikaru. The one who is not my brother is me. And how do you define that? When your brother is no longer there, who are you?

That’s why it’s important that Hikaru dyes his hair. Because I don’t think him dyeing his hair matters if the issue is Haruhi (Haruhi can tell them apart anyway). I don’t think it matters if the issue is Hikaru (this would not, in isolation, fix Kaoru's thought process).

It is however enough for Hikaru to be able to illustrate to Kaoru that their identity is inherently interwoven, not necessarily shared. It doesn’t matter if Kaoru is the same as Hikaru or not– because Kaoru is who he is. That may have been affected by the fact that they’re twins, but his identity is not negated by it. Kaoru's identity is not inherently a performance just because it reflects Hikaru, and he doesn't lose it when he ceases to reflect Hikaru.

(breathes)

CAVEAT AS ALWAYS: I am reading the English translation. While it is the official Viz Media translation, something is always changed in translation, localisation, and interpretation. With the assumption that everyone here is reading the manga in English (sweeping assumption, sorry) this is therefore a reading of the text inherently coloured by the site of circulation (English translation, volume compiled) and the site of audiencing: aka the fact that I am an English-speaking, European, media studies/animation academic, speaking on an largely American blogging platform to the like, twelve Kaoru stans that follow me. It also means your interpretation may be very different to mine! Anyway If you read this far, congrats! You deserve a cookie– whatever that might or might not signify.

#i'm haruhi.#kaoru hitachiin #ouran high school host club #anyway sorry if that was me talking shit or me talking about something v basic i can no longer tell #/incest mention #i don't even know if this is coherent anymore

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restwellsoon · 6 months ago

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Nothing in Particular | Chapter 6 - To Be Seen

Pairing: Omota Uramichi x F!Reader

Summary: A series of unexpected encounters and misunderstandings causes you to fill a large and gaping hole in Uramichi’s life.

18+ only. Minors and blank blogs DNI! You will be blocked!

The Together with Maman cast already knew what to expect during the follow up meeting with Derekida and Furode. Daringly, stupidly, or defiantly, they showed up ten minutes past the designated meeting time to find out their bosses were still late. At least this time they were prepared, each cast member sliding into a seat as they pulled out their phones to kill time. It was too early to socialize with their co-workers, despite Usahara’s attempts at making small talk.

After fifteen minutes, their bosses showed up the same way they did last time–coffee in hand and with little regard to wasting their staff’s time.

Furode leaned back into his chair while Derekida told Iketeru to pass out the scripts. SPECIAL EP! Galaxy Edition! was written on the front page. After receiving their packet, each person flipped through it.

“Obviously we need a special ep dedicated to our show’s nomination,” Furode stated the obvious. He slurped the remaining sip of his coffee as he flipped the script to the first page, glancing at it briefly before shooting Uramichi a sly smile. The gymnast oniisan had already resigned to the fact that his nomination wasn’t his alone–it was the show’s, but more importantly, it was the producers’. Anything related to the Galaxy Award wasn’t just to boost his own fame (as if Uramichi cared for that anyway) but their’s as well.

“The special episode won’t deviate too much from our usual content. Naturally we’re getting a new song,” Derekida said, urging them to read over the page as quickly as possible.

In a surprising act of defiance, the script slapped onto the table as Uramichi deemed it to be inappropriate. A pink flush covered his face.

“Inappropriate?” Furode scoffed. “What’s so wrong about…” he looked down at the lyrics “being okay with losing?”

Everyone re-read the page in question.

Song: Even If You Lose, Your Parents Will Still Be Proud of You You lost the contest, you lost the game Too scared to look around, you just wanna cry Then you see them from the corner of your eye It’s your parents! Yes, Maman! Yes, Papan! Even if you lost, your parents will still be proud of you~ The game, the contest, it doesn’t matter Even if your heart feels like it might shatter Your parents will always be proud of you

No, there really wasn’t anything wrong with the song, Uramichi tried to reason with himself. He was being sensitive, and now he’d made a fool of himself in front of his co-workers and bosses. It was his fault for making mistakes during the biggest competition of his life when he was a gymnast. It was his choice to retire because of his injuries.

Uramichi didn’t have to explain himself because the rest of the cast already knew. It was something they never brought in front of him, but they knew why Uramichi acted the way that he did. The shame of retirement, the fall out with his father—they were all public events that every news station and publication covered for weeks until Uramichi completed rehab for his injuries. The disgrace and scorn he faced despite the fact that he pushed his body to its limits, they knew it all. All of his previous accomplishments meant nothing to his father.

Indeed, it was a sensitive topic.

Iketeru was the first to speak. “What Uramichi oniisan is trying to say, I think, is that the song is inappropriate because it doesn’t take into consideration the kiddos that don’t have moms and dads.”

The rest of the group was surprised that he could make such a statement.

”Yeah,” Kumatani added in, “My parents were working all the time, so it was my grandfather who took care of me the most when I was young. I never knew if I made my parents proud, but I knew that my grandfather always was.”

It was either shock from Iketeru’s sharpness, fear of offending Kumatani, or a combination of both that made their director and producer take their words into consideration. They thoughtfully hummed instead of shooting them down.

Utano mentioned that at a time like this, they couldn’t risk alienating their audience or sparking controversy. Trying to be positive, she added, “It’s clear that there’s an intention about showing the importance of resilience and being loved, but I think the execution didn’t come out as intended.”

Snapping his fingers, Derekida realized that he had a solution to their problem right before his eyes. “Oh yeah, you and Iketeru went to that fancy pants music academy, right? Technically you’re both professional singers and song-writers!”

Did he really think that they were just actors with a good voice? Utano bit her tongue at the insult.

Before they could dwell on his words any longer, he assigned the two singing leaders a new task. “You gotta work with the music team to make a better song then! I have high expectations for you two!”

Uramichi didn’t dare to meet their eyes for giving them more work. He’d have to think of a way to make it up to them later–dinner, at the very least.

Clapping his hands—Usahara couldn’t help but wonder why the director was extra loud this morning, especially since he was getting so sleepy—Derekida went onto the next topic.

”Now that that’s settled, let’s talk about the deets. This episode’s gotta be big, right?” Furode nodded his head in agreement. “So we won’t be doing it in our usual MHK auditorium. Me an’ the big boss here went all out for you guys. Yeah, we’re running through the usual skits—Advice Corner with Oniisan, the Yakumi Shinobi, and something with Kotori-san—but to add the razzle dazzle, we booked a huge theater so more people can see Together with Maman shine.”

“The Yakumi Shinobi for reals?” Usahara finally spoke up, saying what everyone else was thinking. Performing in front of their biggest audience yet while Uramichi wore that outfit was…

Furode shrugged. “We looked at ratings and other metrics, and the people liked the God of Shiso and Bonjour Man the best. So take your pick.”

For Usahara, Kumatani, Utano, and Iketeru, it was difficult to decide on which of Uramichi’s characters were more distracting. At least Bonjour Man had a solid shirt to cover up his nipples instead of a few precariously placed letters and shiso leaves.

He scoffed. “That’s what I thought. So anyway, just look over the schedule for the rest of the week. Things might seem light since we’re not shooting as many episodes, but you’ll be having a lot of rehearsals with Furitsuke in the upcoming month.”

—

After being dismissed, Uramichi immediately went into the smoke room to dissociate.

Fuck Derikida.

Fuck Furode.

Fuck the stupid fucking writers who thought it would be entertaining to drag his personal experiences into this.

With how pleasant the past two days were, he should have known that life was going too smoothly.

He exhaled, trying to remember the warmth of your hand tugging him out the door. You dropped it quickly when you heard his elderly neighbors, only to shyly reach for it again in the privacy of the elevator. He recalled the little things about you as you talked about your college days at the cafe you went to, stopping only to order “your usual.”

He thought of walking you home and how you invited him inside for tea–an excuse to makeout on your couch, really. He thought of that sheepish expression on your face as you told him that you didn’t want to kick him out, but that your work emails and texts were piling up by the hour.

Uramichi was about to reach for another cig when Utano entered the room, waving the smoke away as if she hadn’t been a smoker for years before this.

“Can I bum one?” She asked, taking the spot beside him.

He gave her an incredulous look. “Thought you were trying to quit?” He asked, giving her one anyway.

“Sometimes you just need one,” she shrugged, using his lighter too. “I know I don’t have to apologize, but I’m sorry they even thought of doing that. That was fucked up.”

Uramichi watched the smoke rise to the ceiling until it disappeared as he lit up a new one.

He cocked his head and smiled. “What do you mean?”

She sighed. Right. Uramichi was the type to bury his feelings or run away instead of confronting them.

“Sorry for making more work for you and Iketeru,” Uramichi offered.

Deciding to take one last hit before she snuffed the cig out, Utano inhaled then coughed. “Damn, it’s really been a while,” she wheezed.

Despite the coughing fit, she took her real last hit and put it out, waving the smoke away like his concern. “Don’t worry about it. After all these years, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

He nodded.

She gestured to the remaining half of his cigarette. “Well, enjoy.”

—

You were right about work piling up, but mostly with useless shit that should have been managed by the supervisors. How exactly were they managing their warehouses? You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed as you looked at the emails that you were CC’d in.

A few shipments were held up in customs, meaning the supervisors should have apologized to the vendors for the delay. But did they? Of course not.

You groaned. Managing such logistics was a pain in the ass, and fearing a dump in your reputation (as in, both your own and the company’s), you made a personal plan to meet with the merchants by the end of the week.

“Tough luck, huh?” Ken said from the doorway of your office.

“How’re you going to apologize?” You asked, not looking up at him. There were about 67 more emails to go through. “Dinner or gifts?”

He took it as a sign to get closer. “Probably both with how big this client is,” he said. “Doesn’t help that I’ll be busy with that new opportunity in my territory too.”

“Right, I heard that broadcasting company dropped JXpress. God, that new grad who mixed up the routes is for sure done for.”

“A buddy of mine that works there said the poor kid had to apologize to each employee that was impacted by his mistake by writing a personal letter to them. Five pages each.,” Ken said, shaking his head. He couldn’t imagine fucking up as badly as that. “But on the brighter side, that means that the bid for this company is happening soon.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” you said half-earnestly. “I’m sure every logistics company is sending out their best people to get that contract. Contracting with the gov is every company’s dream.”

Taking another sip of his coffee, Ken changed the subject. He didn’t feel like thinking of his competition just yet. “Hey, did you go through the latest email from HR, by the way? Looks like they’re gonna have a huge event at HQ in a month.”

You hadn’t, but you quickly filtered through your emails to see what he was referring to. In bright colors, you were greeted with “SUPER SECRET EVENT! For our beloved employees and their families!”

The contrast was a bit jarring and hurt your eyes, so you closed out the email after quickly scanning it. “Yeah, this doesn’t really interest me. It seems marketed towards workers with families or really young siblings, right?”

“Has to be,” he agreed, “why else would they choose such ugly colors?”

“Man, I do love exclusive events though…” you trailed, trying to keep the conversation going for as long as possible to avoid actual work.

“Let’s be on the lookout then,” he said. “Maybe we can go together?”

You nodded, “Yeah, sure, that’s fine.”

Before leaving, Ken offered his help. “Let me know if you need any help planning your apology gifts or letters. Sato sent me over some stuff.”

Again, you nodded, saying that you’d email him if you were gonna take him up on the offer. It was only when you returned to typing and clicking away that he left, quietly shutting the door behind him.

—

Groaning, you left your office without giving it so much as a glance back. If anything, you hoped for someone to come in and steal your computer, so that you couldn’t work for half the day.

“God, I fucking hate commuting,” you mumbled to yourself as you scanned your pass to enter the subway. By the time you left the office, the trains were crowded–regardless if you stayed late or left on time–and you spent a minimum of 40 minutes getting squished by smoke-covered businessmen.

Hope work wasn’t too bad. At least tomorrow’s Friday, you found yourself texting Uramichi.

You thought that hooking up would bring you two closer, but now you felt like you could only text him if you were horny. You hoped that he wouldn’t misunderstand the intentions of your text, but he probably would.

I’m already looking forward to leaving the studio tomorrow. ٩(× ×)۶

Uramichi responded to your text with a straight face, immediately stopping his set of Romanian twists. He lingered for a moment in case you texted back quickly.

It was difficult to fight the urge to ask him what his weekend plans were, especially since you saw each other a couple of days ago. You didn’t want to seem too desperate.

But that wish came far too late.

Are you busy this weekend?

Uramichi answered quickly.

Yeah ╥﹏╥ They want to take some promo shoots and do a small interview for the Galaxy’s.

You shouldn’t have felt as disappointed as you did.

Next time then Yeah, next time :)

—

When it came to shoots, Uramichi found a strange sort of comfort in the familiarity of MHK’s publicity and marketing departments. The rooms were often designed with bright colors and obnoxious patterns that were easy to get lost in. The muted neutral tones of Galaxy Awards’ studio felt suffocating in a way. It felt too sterile and adult.

At least his face didn’t mind though. Instead of maintaining a perpetual smile in case he ran into any kids touring the station, he could let his expression rest. His throat could take it easy today too, staying at its natural depth.

“Well, this isn’t too bad,” he mumbled to himself in the fitting room. This didn’t feel like work because he wasn’t in his usual work mode. “The suit’s stuffy though.”

He gave himself a once over, adjusting his tie and fixing his hair before leaving the room to line up for his headshot. Truthfully, he didn’t recognize any of the other people there. He wasn’t sure if it was face blindness, poor memory, a poor relationship with pop culture, or some combination of the three.

From the start, his nomination felt surreal. It felt even more so today because of his appearance. His bangs were pushed out of his face and lightly styled with gel. He wore a fitted suit and a perfectly tied tie that paired with a set of black shiny shoes. If he saw himself on the street, Uramichi would have guessed that he was someone who worked in business or finance, a salaryman.

As he waited in line, he let his mind wonder what it would be like if you two were co-workers.

—

Ding! Your notification said that Uramichi sent you a picture, and you wondered what it could even be of.

Opening the message, you threw your phone to the other side of your bed, face hot with embarrassment. Did he mean to send that to someone else or…?

After taking a few breaths, you crawled back to your phone. There was no additional text, just a suited Uramichi with a loose tie, taking a selfie in some unknown place.

Your fingers shook as you tried to think of what to say.

“Fuck!” You screeched as you realized that you accidentally called Uramichi. Quickly you cancelled the call only to see that he was trying to call you back.

What was worse: ignoring his call or answering and saying it was an accident?

Your voice caught in your throat when you heard him say your name.

“Hi,” you breathed out.

“Sorry I missed your call,” Uramichi said, sounding a bit muffled. “I was changing.”

“Oh, you were?” You said weakly, tapping a few buttons so you could look at that picture of Uramichi looking like a stud again.

“Right,” you said, gaining some composure. “The picture. The one you sent where you were all dressed up. I’m guessing that they let you borrow a set of suits?”

He said that they did, and after Uramichi set the phone down, placing it on speaker as he pulled his pants up and buttoned them.

“You look so handsome. I bet the pictures turned out well.”

His lips turned upwards slightly, pleased with your praise. “Yeah, hopefully,” he hummed, this time pulling his shirt over himself. “If not, they said I can do a retake. I probably won’t bother though.”

“Where’re you off to now? It’d be a waste for you to go home with your hair done and everything.”

“Is it done?” He asked, more to himself than to you, pushing a few strands back.

You sat on your bed cross-legged, giving up on the show you were watching on your tablet. “Maybe it’s just a girl thing,” you laughed. “Usually when I get my hair cut or do my makeup, I wanna go out, so people can see me.”

Uramichi let out a quiet ‘oh,” and there was an awkward pause after. You checked to make sure that the call didn’t end.

“Would you wanna go out with me?” He asked.

“Go out with you?” You echoed, making him regret his choice of words. “Right now?”

“I spoke too fast,” Uramichi tried to backtrack, nearly running out of the studio and onto the street. “Don’t feel pressured. You don’t have to.”

“I uh…” You didn’t need to look at yourself in the mirror to know how you probably looked. Even though you showered, your hair was the bare minimum of presentable, you weren’t wearing makeup, and all of your cuter clothes were in the laundry.

“Forget I asked,” Uramichi said.

“No! No, it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that I’d hate for you to wait while I get ready. I kind of take a long time…” you trailed, trying to think of a solution. “Would you wanna come over here? Ugh, no, that’s lame. You’ve been coming over a lot, so you’re probably sick of my place, huh?”

“No, not at all,” Uramichi cut in, afraid that you’d rescind your offer. “You’re the only person I want to see me like this anyway, so…”

Oh.

Your face grew impossibly hotter.

“Great, well, come over now and we’ll think of something when you get here.” You told him, already digging through your closet for possible outfits.

—

“Welcome home!” You joked as you opened the door. Shamefully, you asked Uramichi to stop by the market on his way over since you ran out of rice and dashi.

Your eyes landed on the huge sack of rice he had slung over his shoulder. “Oh my god, Michi,” you scolded, trying to snatch the ten kilogram bag from him. “That’s so much! I appreciate you, but what the hell!”

Riding on the high of you welcoming him home, he playfully sidestepped you to enter the room, kicking off his shoes while maintaining his hold on the sack.

“It was on sale,” he tried to argue, finally setting it on the counter. He pulled out the dashi container from his backpack and set it beside the rice. “It was the same price as a five kilo bag, so…”

You could only shake your head as you fished for the proper amount of change from your wallet.

“Besides, I’m strong,” Uramichi told you.

“Yeah, I know,” you laughed, sliding the yen into his back pants pocket. “You proved that when I stopped by your workplace the other day.”

His cheeks burned at the memory. Was he always this embarrassing? Uramichi leaned against the counter, afraid that you’d feel the heat radiating off him.

But as quickly as you came, you set off, reaching into the fridge for a couple of beers.

Cracking the first one open and handing it to him, shyly you said, “Sorry I’m not ready yet.” You motioned to your body. “I thought my clothes would be dry by now, but give me another half hour.”

Following your lead to the couch, Uramichi waved off your apology.

Sipping your can of Orion, you asked him how his day was.

He paused, unsure of how to answer because he wasn’t used to being asked such a question. “It was fine,” he settled on, “and it ran smoother than expected.”

Laughing a little, you asked him if he was expecting it to be bad.

“Well, no,” Uramichi said, sipping on his beer, “but the shoots we’d do to promote gymnastics competitions were…”

You cocked your head, expecting to hear more.

Would you even care to hear about his past? It wasn’t as if he was a gymnast anymore, so it’s not like it mattered. He met your expectant eyes before deciding.

“They were kind of exhausting,” he admitted, his eyes falling back to his lap. “We had to do a lot of action shots, and the interviewers would try to get into your head.” When he felt your pity, he added, “That’s all in the past now. I don’t know why I thought it’d be the same. How dumb.”

Stealing a side glance, he met your eyes once more. “Well, that’s your frame of reference so I get why you’d compare the two. That’s exciting though. What did they ask you about?”

When did Uramichi finish his drink? His finger outlined its rim. “Just generic questions about the show,” he shrugged, “my reaction to the nomination. I memorized what the PR consultant told me to say.”

“Ahh, but that’s still exciting regardless! I’m happy for you. After I heard about your nomination, I couldn’t help but look up who your competition was: there’s someone who conducts street interviews, another children show’s host, a talk show host, and Shinsuke Murakami from that one variety show. I hope you or Murakami win.”

Right. The PR team had briefed him on the other nominees. Apparently his biggest competition wasn’t the fellow children’s show host, but Murakami. They were in the same age range, and apparently he scored well with middle-aged women, meaning his likelihood for winning was high. It also helped that his looks were the perfect balance of traditional and ikemen. Specifically, the PR consultant said that Murakami looked like the improbable lovechild of Iketeru and Kumatani, then kindly asked Uramichi to never repeat that so they wouldn’t get in trouble.

“Why not me?” He blurted out. He tried to convince himself that it was his competitive side that was asking.

You paused, trying to think of why you were torn between the two. “I can’t help but root for Murakami because he’s so dreamy~ Don’t worry! You’re cute too, Michi.”

Setting your beer down on the table, you leaned in to get a better look at him. “Are you pouting?”

“No.” He turned away.

Poking one of his cheeks, your finger made the slightest indent. “Your face will stay stuck like that,” you teased as you moved in closer. “Can I change my vote? Uramichi is number one, then Murakami is number two.”

Uramichi finally turned to glower at you. “I don’t want your pity vote.”

“Hey, I can be the vote that makes or breaks you winning the award!”

You were so close that Uramichi could smell your shampoo and the perfume that clung to your neck. It would have been the perfect moment to kiss you–if only you hadn’t pulled away.

“Laundry’s done,” you told him. “Think about where you wanna go while I get changed!”

–

Even though you told him that you took a long time to get ready, you appeared before Uramichi after ten minutes in a dress. He scoured online for somewhere nice, but it was difficult to balance good atmosphere, good drinks, and good value. One of them had to be sacrificed. He sighed.

“Decide on a place yet?” You asked, pushing some bangles onto your wrist.

“There’s a place about three blocks down that has good cocktails,” he said.

“Great,” you said, grabbing your low heels from the shoe rack. “Lead the way.”

–

“Man, Uramichi’s been so weird lately,” Usahara grumbled as his sixth call in a row was declined. “It’s almost like he’s ignoring us.”

He and Kumatani left the Mud Boat slightly buzzed after splitting a pitcher of beer together. They half-expected to see Uramichi there since he wasn’t at Cat Kick, but their usual booth was empty.

“Speak for yourself,” Kumatani said as he checked his phone. “I’m not the one whose calls got declined six times.”

Down for drinks? He texted Uramichi privately.

“Hachita said he might be dating.”

They both paused.

“Him? Dating? Who?”

Usahara laughed off the possibility of losing their friend to the world of romance. It was common for Kumatani to get a girlfriend every couple of years, Usahara too even, but Uramichi? Him being single was like one of the conditions of their world existing. If he dated, what would happen to their friendship?

But to Kumatani, the probability of Uramichi dating seemed more probable. After all, he was more perceptive than Usahara and Uramichi combined, so he was keenly aware of things like crushes and romantic interest.

“Yeah, well whatever! He’s probably at the gym or something. His loss,” Usahara tried to laugh it off. “It’s not every day that the honorable Kumatani offers to take us out for beef skewers.”

He shrugged, trying to brush off his annoyance about his senpai lagging in his response. “He’s doing me a favor, honestly. With how much protein he needs to maintain his physique, I’d probably be out of half my paycheck. You, on the other hand with your skinny build…”

Usahara was nodding in agreement up until the last sentence, realizing the diss that Kumatani snuck in there. “Hey, hey, hey!” He said, pushing the darker-haired man into the restaurant, “Neither of us are jacked like Uramichi, but I’d say that both of us are pretty lean.”

–

It was a mistake to go to one of his usual haunts, but when put on the spot, this was all that Uramichi could come up with.

You squinted while trying to read the neon sign. “Kushiyaki… Galore?”

“Yeah, the name’s weird,” Uramichi said, “but I guess the owner was inspired by some restaurant names he saw when he studied in the West.”

You hummed, taking in its appearance as the host led you to a table. Despite the strange name, the inside was clean with a more modern vibe, that made you somewhat suspicious if it was just another gimmicky place. After all, everyone knew that discrete places were often the real hidden gems of the culinary world.

Oh well, even if it were a gimmick, at least the interior was cute. You snapped a few pics to send to Utano later.

After being shown your seats, you looked at the menu, asking Uramichi what he normally got.

“We usually get the assorted set when we come here, but the pork belly is good too.”

“We?” You asked, raising your brow from over the menu.

Uramichi realized his wording. “We as in my friends! We don’t go here as often anymore but–”

He only stopped when you laughed. “Sorry, sorry. Hey, don’t pout again. I’m sorry! I don’t care who you go here with. I just thought it’d be fun to tease you.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s fun.”

Finally you set the menu down completely, and Uramichi followed suit.

“Well, you can’t see how cute you look. It’s the hair,” you told him.

“Styling my hair like this makes you want to bully me?”

You giggled. You’d been doing that a lot since he first came over, he noticed.

“No, it makes me want to flirt with you.”

There were too many moments of near-misses between you. In your apartment. On the bus. On the walk over. The tension was there, and it was electric, drawing Uramichi to you as he felt the sparks of something there. He wanted to kiss you, to fuck you, or at the very least, hold your hand.

But before he could do any of that, an unfortunately familiar spoke beside you.

“Uhh, hey Mr. Host, is it okay if we sit right here?”

Your eyes followed Uramichi’s to your right as his friends sat at the table beside yours.

There were a hundred things that Uramichi could do or say in that moment. On the way here, he declined all of Usahara’s calls with zero intention of calling him back tonight. He saw Kumatani’s text too but still chose to leave him on read. This had to have been karma for what he’d done.

“Hi,” Uramichi finally said, his shoulders slumping as all the light and life left his eyes. He glared at his friends who were used to his looks.

Did they hear? Maybe they didn’t hear, you tried to convince yourself.

But with the way Blondie was looking at you, wide-eyed and mouth open, you knew they definitely heard the last part. How. Fucking. Embarrassing.

Their other friend wasn’t looking at either of you, instead perusing the menu. He scanned the first two pages before setting it down.

“Uramichi’s right. The assorted set’s good here, but they’re known for their pork belly, so I think that’s what you guys should get.”

The pressure radiating off of him was suffocating even though he was smiling. While you saw Usahara as a nuisance and a cockblock, Kumatani was on a different level. He was an actual opponent, blocking you from Uramichi. While embarrassing, you didn’t care much that Usahara heard you. But Kumatani? Knowing that he overheard your entire conversation was mortifying. What was he even capable of?

You scanned the rest of the restaurant in a pathetic attempt to find an escape route. Perhaps there was a corner that you and Uramichi could sneak off to. But somehow the restaurant had reached max capacity while you two were talking. Some people were even queuing by the entrance.

Which meant that you two were stuck here.

Beside his friends.

You were stuck having dinner with the guy you’re fucking and his friends.

You said a prayer to any god out there before calling over a server. You might as well as get this over with as quickly as possible.

Return to

the Main Masterlist

Nothing in Particular | fic cover

Life Lessons Masterlist

AO3

#uramichi omota x reader #uramichi x reader #rest writes #life lessons with uramichi oniisan #uramichi omota

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artsyjesseblue · 3 months ago

Text

Lotor in a Komar Robeast - a Speculative Meta

Listen, I said I wasn’t going to write any more VLD metas, but this one is borderline fanfic, so I have an excuse. My theory is a bit stretched, like a thin rubber band ready to snap, but hey, it’s always fun to theorize. I’m just throwing it out here for funsies.

So, first off, what are the easiest and fastest ways to change the course of an already animated story?

— Static images are easy to alter - Lotor’s cOrpSe comes to mind. Easy to draw a bunch of purple spaghetti over his body.

— If there are changes in the script, calling voice actors back to record new dialogue is also cheaper (and faster) than applying major changes to the animation itself (re-recording dialogue is called ADR and it’s used in the industry on a regular basis).

With that in mind, here’s where I’m applying my theory:

At the end of Knights of Light Part II, Allura remains unconscious, while all the other Paladins wake up from the entity-assisted trip to Honerva’s mind:

From here on, I (like many others before me) hypothesize that she’d continue her metaphysical journey and finally meet Lotor — a natural consequence of the fact that he (his subconscious more exactly) enticed Allura to follow him in the Clear Day episode (“Follow me”? And then we never saw him again? Hello? Anyone there?).

As seen in the “Genesis” episode in S8, Lotor is boiling in his own rage — a rage of galactic proportions, magnified by the rift quintessence. Similar to how she woke the Old Paladins up from the darkness inside Honerva’s mind, Allura would now have a chance to awaken Lotor’s consciousness.

The difference between Lotor and Alfor et al. is that Lotor also retains his physical body — and I posit it would not look as horrid as published in canon. After simmering in the quintessence field among entities, it would make more sense story-wise for Lotor to resemble his parents’ transfiguration. A vampire-like appearance. The flecks of purple light emanating from him in the (supposed) coRpSe scene suggest that as well (Remember Zarkon and Honerva’s eyes, effusing motes of eerie purple light after coming back from the rift?).

Here’s where I’m deviating from the traditional theories:

The outcome of Lotor still retaining a viable body would be that Allura would completely wake him up from his vampire state: mind and body.

In other words, Allura would revive him remotely, via the entity connection. She wouldn’t need to storm the pyramid. Or, to quote Allura herself in the very last episode of S8, she’d “change the quintessence within [his] vessel/body from a destructive force into a life-giving force” (note that in canon she applied this technique to Honerva, while they were in the Connected Consciousness Plane, so… also remotely). As per Allura’s own recount, this was something that Lotor helped her learn.

This would bring us to the next point, as we see it in canon:

At the beginning of S8E12 “The Zenith”, Merla unexpectedly comes to the Paladins’ aid, parrying a Komar robeast’s strike against Voltron:

Pidge exclaims: “It’s the Altean!”

“Why is she helping us?” Lance asks.

Merla pleads with the Paladins. “Please, do not harm them! They were misguided, much like I was. We all were.”

We never actually see Pidge, Lance or Merla talking, we only hear their voices while the robots carry on with the battle.

This sneaky little snippet of dialogue is where I think stuff might have been altered.

Why?

Because Merla freaking died in the previous episode. Honerva blasted Merla’s mecha to fine cosmic dust, and we witnessed that in a mighty well animated scene, for that matter.

So. Who might have actually piloted that Komar robeast?

Well…

How about… Lotor? What if Lotor’s “do not harm them” was swapped with Merla’s voice?

Freshly awoken from his mega mental breakdown, but still refusing to accept Honerva as his mother — thus putting up a big fight against her (and consequently pushing Honerva to such batshit insanity where she’d decide to search for a child-Lotor in another reality), Lotor would eventually manage to escape the pyramid aboard a Komar mecha. Abandoning Sincline in this case would also serve as a symbolic gesture of departing his past life and actions, and joining the Coalition for good. (Also, in Allura’s vision in “Clear Day”, the Komar robot had a bit of a sacrificial symbolic role, so there’s that as well).

Inserting Lotor here would be an effective action sequence, with a bigger story impact than Merla’s — and it would flow nicely, as he’d arrive in the nick of time to help the Paladins. Not to mention, it would save a lot of time and budget, by skipping that extra episode about storming the pyramid.

Look, I love the ‘storming the pyramid’ idea and all the art that’s been done so far with it. I’d love to see more! I wrote a fanfic around it, too. But what if there was a more streamlined approach?

Also… Also… This action flow would explain the unprofessionally chopped frame (rip Hunk, we only see your shoulder) that follows immediately after the Merla-helps-Voltron scene. (Oh, how about Lance’s “Why is she helping us?” rolling right during this frame? We don’t even see Lance’s mouth - how convenient!)

In the unaltered version of this split screen (there must be an uncropped version, because otherwise… where’s Hunk?), I posit there wouldn’t be any Merla; instead, we’d see the newly-arrived Lotor, the Paladins, and the two remaining Altean warriors. And the convo would flow something like this:

Pidge: “It’s Lotor!”

Lance: “Why is he helping us?” (Or perhaps he would say something else completely? We can’t see his mouth; I guess it was easier than re-animating his lips to the new dialogue?)

Lotor: “Please, do not harm them!” [Optional: “They were misguided — much like I was. We all were.” — this would tie in with what Allura said about him in the Connected Consciousness scene: “Lotor may have been misguided, but ultimately he wanted to preserve life.”]

Scrolling further into S8E12, there are two almost identical semi-static scenes (an Altean character is animated briefly), separated by about 5 minutes (min 12:08, then min 17:00). The background dissimilarity is what triggers my suspicions. Remember I said static images are easy to alter? Spot the differences between these two pics:

Image 1 - minute 12:08:

Image 2 - minute 17:00:

In the second shot Matt and N-7 are gone, but more importantly… the Balmeran alien on the right has been replaced by Merla, and her Komar mecha looms in the background. See how easy it is to switch characters in static scenes? It’s canon. Boom. Proof right here.

What if… that character was actually Lotor? If he was supposed to be in that mecha instead of Merla, this would be a great opportunity for him to join forces with his beloved Alteans, and… and… express his own magical powers! (Oh, magical Altean Lotor? We’ve been waiting for this since Oriande, haven’t we? Here we go!)

Not to mention the super-symbolic gesture he’d make, of giving up his own quintessence — after syphoning it from other Alteans in the past.

Ultimately though, we know that the Balmerans & the Coalition’s efforts fail, as they’re unable to contain the rift. Their reality collapses. Meanwhile, Voltron-Atlas misses their entry point to the next reality. They’re all defeated. Honerva reaches her target reality. There, she meets cute little Lotor, gets rejected (again!) by him, and looses her shit completely.

Then, out of thin air, Voltron-Atlas reappears. May I ask how? Because damn sure, canon never explained it.

While my imagination is exhausted here, I have a couple of options, sourced from a previous meta of my own, as well as @violethowler ’s meta. In either case, the idea is that a supernatural being from beyond realities must have helped them, perhaps akin to the Sphinx in the VLD comics — maybe a Lion Goddess (foreshadowed in S1)? Perhaps they must pass some tests? The riddle of the Sphinx? Perhaps their experience in S7, “The Journey Within” was the Goddess’ test, and they already passed it? Unity, friendship, hope… All that good stuff.

And here, in the Nowhere Land beyond realities, I speculate that Lotor reunites with the Voltron-Atlas team. A seven-unit team (as hinted through Kolivan’s interview in “Day Forty-Seven”). According to a previous analysis of mine, there are animation glitches that hint at Lotor being present in the final scenes in the Connected Consciousness.

Like I said, this is a highly speculative piece. More fuel for fanfiction though.

One thing I’d like to make clear as I close my analysis. When I talk about altering an already animated story, I’m referring to executive meddling, imposed upon the talented crew that poured all their love into this show: the EPs, the writers, the animators. You know, the whole “toys for boys” meddling issue. Imo, the show runners deserved better, just like this story. I’m simply speculating on what could have been.

#vld meta #voltron meta #voltron #vld #freevlds8 #lotor meta #lotor #lotor deserved better #voltron legendary defender #jesseblue writes #this theory might have plotholes but I’m having fun with it #dialogue changes are impossible to guess so that’s a big reason to mark this meta as highly speculative #that being said though…#Lotor in a Komar robeast is my new head canon LOL #I’ve noticed the two separate shots with Balmera and the Alteans a few years ago but never made much sense of them #sorry Merla - this theory wipes you from existence #which means Merla wouldn’t show up at the very end of S8 on New Altea either #thank you for reading

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dcggersedge · 6 months ago

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the long quiet

swordmaster mastery drabble (wc 896)

You are on a path in the…

Oh. Well, this isn’t right. It seems you’re not on a path at all. How strange. Nearly every time we’ve done this before, it always starts the same. This is the first time it’s ever been different, I think.

(Explore) “Why are you surprised? This was what we decided on the old man’s deathbed, isn’t it?”

No, not we. You decided. You decided that you wanted to try to deviate, that you hated the script soooo much that you just couldn’t stand to follow it any longer, and that you’d go running off at first opportunity. I told you that it doesn’t matter if you run. There are certain things that are consistent and that will happen, and that you were just delaying the inevitable.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. You are on a path in the

Why do you say that? It’s not really accurate, is it? We’ve never even seen the woods that the script talks about, have we?

“Firene.”

You went to Firene. I’m stuck in Brodia.

(Explore) “You probably wouldn’t have liked it.”

Well, we’ll never know, will we?

I liked it better when there was one of you. You were so much easier then. Quieter, too.

But seriously, why is it a path? Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say something like “you are on a street in Brodia”?

Because…because that’s just now how the script goes!

(Explore) “Don’t you write it?”

Of course I don’t write it, I’m just the narration. If I wrote it, we would have gotten to the point a lot faster without all this back and forth. Now, you are on a path-

Road.

(Explore) “Did you say we weren’t on either of those?”

The path or road doesn’t matter, because it’s beneath your feet whether you see it or not! But fine! Since the two of you are so nitpicky, you’re in a room! It’s a room you’ve seen a hundred times before, only this time it is not quite as big as it used to feel. It’s dark, the windows are boarded up, and there is nothing there except the door and a table.

You left out the old man’s shitty chair.

He’s not around to be important anymore.

Maybe not to you, but I still see him. Sitting in his chair, talking in the other room, stopping around with those big boots. He’s still here, even if he’s not.

(Explore) “This is why you can’t leave.”

And ignoring it doesn’t mean you did.

Upon the table sits the pristine blade you know so well. You’ve taken it up time and time before. You know that you cannot walk through the door without it, because it is every bit a part of you as your hand itself.

[Try to leave without it]

…okay. I see what we’re doing here. Very funny. You try to leave, but you find the door is stuck. No matter how much you yank or pull, the door won’t open, because you cannot leave without your blade.

[Kick the door]

It doesn’t move.

[Kick it again]

Maybe he really is gone. We’d never get away with making this much noise while he was home.

[Kick it one more time]

It doesn’t move because it won’t move. Do you think I’m telling you all of this for fun? The script exists for a reason and you’ve been following it since you came here. You can’t just change because you decide you want to! You aren’t just different now because you decide you are! You are on a path. You take the blade. And you slay the-

The blade is gone.

What do you mean the blade is- Oh. Okay. You turn around and the blade is, in fact, gone. Instead of the familiar knife, a sword sits in its place. There’s no mention of a sword in the script, but it is a sort of blade…we can still work with this.

[Take the sword]

You take up the sword. It is old and beaten, with small dents and nicks along the blade from years of use. It doesn’t look like it’s in a shape to kill anyone any more.

Not with that attitude.

(Explore) “Is the door still locked?”

Of course the door’s still locked. The door is for the you that follows the script, not a you who conjures up new weapons out of thin air and tries to fight against the path. You’ve done this time and time before. Just because you’ve made a small change doesn’t mean you’re off it. Just turn the sword back into a knife.

…if we can’t get off it, can we really make a new one?

What? Of course not.

(Explore) “Would you be mad at me?”

I’m already stuck with here with him. Doesn’t mean we should both be.

[Raise the sword and aim it at yourself]

…Wait, hang on. Maybe I’ve been a bit rash. Maybe we can talk about the door again? I haven’t even told you who you’re supposed to slay yet this time.

[Cut down the path]

Oh, fine. The old rusty sword plunges into its target. Everything goes dark, and then you die.

#drabble #((“vivi did you play slay the princess recently” gee how did you guess))#((nothing to see here as usual everyone continue on their day))#((I've been rotating the concept of a slay the princess au thread in my idea but also good lord the coordination that would take but-))#((- also also imagine the payoff. not committing to that before lore tho))#((anyway sorry once again mods for my drabbles always having abstract connections to class mastery))

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luckycheesefoodie321 · 10 months ago

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Look idk what the new Narnia tv show will bring, and I can absolutely see it improving upon the second and third films… but the first movie was truly something special.

The vision of the director, the wonderful young core cast, the score, the visual and practical effects, the truly elegant cgi, all really bringing the original story to life in the most beautiful way.

I was just as captivated by the film after not having watched it in some 10-15 years, as I was the first time I watched it.

The war scene???? THE WAR SCENE. THE MUSIC. THE BUILD UP. THE TENSION. I CANT.

The way it allows for the quiet moments to enriched the big moments. Peter and Aslan talking for the first time? Peter looking to Oreius “are you with me?” “To the death”???

Even Prince Caspian was such an engaging film, even if it did deviate from the book, bc the cast was so good and the story followed on so well from the first. The understanding of the script writer’s that the characters were now adults flung back into young bodies and their skill level, their mannerisms, their confidence and countenance would all be drastically changed from the first film, and the cast do a wonderful job of projecting that. And obv Ben Barnes was a fantastic addition.

It’s the way that Susan and Edmund had very minimal roles in the first film’s war and leaned heavily on Peter to lead the charge. By the same token, Peter took most of the responsibility upon himself. Susan used one arrow to kill in the first film. Whereas Peter’s first kill was kind of incidental. Edmund used his strategic abilities for the first time in going for the Witch’s ice sceptre.

Cut to Prince Caspian.

Edmund is absolutely and clearly the strategist between the two. He’s the negotiator. The master manipulator. The diplomat. And proves to everyone involved he is a more than capable swordsman - we don’t need to see Peter fight before he needs to. We need everyone to mentally catch up to where Edmund is in his skills. Then Peter leads as he always does at the front of the action. He duels Miraz. He proves his mettle once more.

Then Susan, while initially paired up once more with Lucy, goes with them in the initial raid on Miraz’s castle to fight, demonstrating her expert archery and combat skills. She solos about 7 or 8 mounted soldiers from the ground with her bow. She leads the archers before entering the battlefield herself.

It’s the DEVELOPMENT.

And while Lucy is not involved in the fighting, it’s the way she speaks against the stubbornness of her elder siblings so openly. Who holds firm to her beliefs even when everyone else doesn’t. She doesn’t run away and cry anymore. This is a Lucy who knows how to counsel her fellow kings and Queen.

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the third film, is where it falls apart story wise, in direction, and in vision - it forgets where the characters were previously. Like I hate when Caspian and Edmund are duelling on the Dawn Treader, and they end in a draw and Caspian says the line “you’ve improved, my friend” “I suppose I have” because BRO. Edmund is a skilled swordsman and several hundred years Caspian’s senior. While he may be in a younger body that doesn’t show the experience, and he doesn’t have opportunities to practice it, he has several wars and combat engagements under his belt and only a year since his previous visit to Narnia. That doesn’t go away. A better line would’ve been “the rust is starting to shed, my friend” “I’m finally warmed up” would’ve been a far less condescending line, even if sweet baby boi Caspian would never mean it that way.

so I definitely would look forward to how the show might improve upon it IF it gets that far.

#chronicles of narnia #narnia #the lion the witch and the wardrobe #cs Lewis #prince Caspian #voyage of the dawn Treader #Georgie Henley #william moseley #skandar Keynes #anna popplewell #Lucy Pevensies #Peter pevensie #Edmund pevensie #Susan pevensie

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utmvarchive · 2 months ago

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Underplayer: a summary

...

In one reiteration of the Alpha Timeline, an outsider hijacked the script... code... like others have. Only, they did not do it to assign someone else as their vessel. They created and recolored a duplicate of Frisk, even putting a piece of their own SOUL into the custom vessel simply called "PLAYER" and taking Frisk's power to Reset.

One of the side-effects of PLAYER's more brazen interference with this reality was that their LV was impossibly high– an infinite string of nines– despite never harming anyone else, even in other timelines.

They were going through all this trouble because they wanted what they'd call a "perfect ending."

One where his highness Asriel could stay. One where their highness Chara could be here with them. One where they and Frisk could exist separately and they could break the Barrier together... and PLAYER could live with them all as well. One where they could come clean, restoring Flowey's and Sans' memories from other "worldlines" with other "players" to add upon what they knew about Resets.

Corroborating the claims and inferences of others, their engagement with our world works like a game– with a preset avatar, preset boundaries and preset rules to navigate... unless they too know how to write scripts of their own.

...

...I think I knew for a long time. I'd second-guessed myself, and I continued to as long as I could justify my doubts. But now, it will only obstruct my investigation to keep looking for what else could give this impression excuses alternative explanations...

...

Their presence alone made this universe a reiteration, but even so, the world... what they called the worldline... would eject them whenever the scripted circumstance for the Barrier's breakage played out, or whenever they made any other significant deviations, sending them to another worldline.

PLAYER tried different things. Cooperating with Frisk. Resetting. Guiding them to the happy ending. Stopping Frisk from falling and taking their place. Stopping Frisk and trying again to give Asriel a SOUL. But there were still hard limits on where and when they could stay before being disconnected, even after removing the other vessel from the picture.

Sans began to suspect the reason for PLAYER's LV was because of the toll it took on themself, or perhaps their LOVE really stood for love. Either way, it never returned to zero because they were sent to other worldlines rather than back in time whenever they thought a Reset had been forced. So after their talk, they thought they'd try one more time to break the Barrier.

They identified Dr. Gaster as the one rejecting their presence after their Determination finally overrode his efforts, so when another player connected to Frisk next Reset and attempted a merciless game, PLAYER took matters into their own hands as soon as they found their way back. They took over when Chara would have offered a total Reset, and used it to send the other player to another universe entirely. After which, Frisk was able to differentiate their own choices from the player's again, so with some gentle coaxing from PLAYER, they Reset one more time to undo the other's violence.

...So PLAYER was finally able to go back to worldlines they were forced out of and arrange the ending they wanted, in which the heirs could be revived and Frisk could be independent. They could even duplicate their custom vessel.

They just... couldn't stay.

His highness Asriel did not want freedom from the mountain to cost any more sacrifices, but for PLAYER, this meant the perfect ending they wanted could not include them. They ultimately decided to withdraw awareness of their involvement, reintroduce themself to his highness as a magician and leave after breaking the Barrier one more time.

...

So even direct intervention does not guarantee that they'll get what they want. They too have guidelines to follow.

...

#underplayer #undertale #utmv #alpha timeline #archive #at #ap #omniverse #player #royal return #soul exchange #summary #txt

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undeadorion · 4 months ago

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That one creepo stalker person reminds me of my ex. They have a plan of what they're going to do. Not a roadmap but a script. They will not deviate from it, no matter the response. Even if it makes zero sense.

I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, but we lived together. But I also didn't want to kick them out because they didn't have anywhere to go. So I was slowly quietly working on a way I could be the one to leave.

After I came out as trans to her, she broke up with me like 2 days later. I was more relieved than anything. She expected me to be devastated and conducted herself accordingly. But I was instead very accommodating, and not even all that upset. I tried multiple times to talk about how we could work around this until we figured out the long term. Like I could move my desk into the bedroom so we weren't in the same room all the time. In the middle of me saying this she had a full sobbing breakdown and yelled and screamed that I was forcing her to move out immediately. Yet she's the one who chose to move out, and I kept trying to tell her to slow down that she could take as long as she needed.

This eventually escalated into just blatant lies that were the exact opposite of reality. Like saying I forced her to be my personal maid and spend HOURS in the kitchen cleaning every morning. There were just the 2 of us there. The dishes were never done. And at least once a week I'd try to do them and she'd physically bar me from entering the kitchen to prevent me from doing them.

Then again, long before that she'd use every little thing to try to say I was racist just because I'm white and she's Mexican. But she really had to dig for the tiniest details. Like me not wanting to watch soccer in Spanish with her (I don't speak Spanish and I don't like sports). Or that I didn't like her banana-beets-and-peanuts holiday salad (I'm allergic to bananas, don't like pickled beets, and had really bad teeth at the time so peanuts hurt to eat).

People like this assume an outcome before you're ever involved then work backwards from there as if they've already achieved it. Even when you go so off script they'll never get to where they assumed. I will never understand this mentality.

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extraordinarilyextreme · 6 months ago

Note

Are you watching under the skin 2? What do you think of the season so far?

hiiiii~ thanks for asking, and sorry for such a late reply. i had been watching but couldn't finish it until recently (hence why im answering so late)...

in short, i don't like it. so if you don't wanna read abt a negative opinion then click away~

i think the cast delivered as wonderful performances as usual, and i think the cinematography was quite beautiful (there are a lot of details that i really adore as an artist). but the script/writing/pacing... even the characterization... left much to be desired.

there are so many things to critique...

to start with, as someone studying psychology, i've found it laughable since s1 that everyone buys into Freudian psychoanalysis so much - but they really took it to the next level in s2. i'm a staunch abolitionist and also anti-police, so i'm always watching shows like this with a critical eye, but it's just utterly mind-boggling that this show/the writers really suggested that crimes can be solved and culprits can be pinpointed because they drew a house in a certain way. and i hate that the show made DC out to be the bad guy for "limiting SY's talents/intuition" or whatever.

i already don't trust our so-called "justice" system; now you're telling me police should be solving crimes and accusing people based on a hunch? (that "hunch" in real life often looks like profiling and stereotyping, mind you, and it can be fatal.)

Du Cheng isn't in the wrong! and i hate even more that even in the last episode before Shen Yi's confession they had him say "but i was wrong. my boundaries, in truth, were limiting your talents." (and yes i know SY corrects him, but) IT FEELS SO OUT-OF-CHARACTER compared to the resolve that DC had back in s1. there, SY's laoshi begged DC to return SY to the art world, but without even flinching, DC firmly rejected that notion.

because being an officer beside DC, in Beijiang, is where SY belongs. AND THEY BOTH REACH THAT CONCLUSION AT THE END OF S1. they both affirm their convictions, that they belong beside each other - so why did we just spend another 28 episodes only to reaching the same result ("where you run to, is where i'll fly to." and "where you are, is where the circle is too." and "i will forever be your best trump card.")???

another issue: yes, SY has always had his reckless streak - but how can he possibly get away with doing so many investigations completely independent from DC and without DC's knowledge?? that's not realistic at all. and, fine, obviously they're dramatizing things, but what i liked about s1 is that it was just realistic "enough" to keep me invested - it deviated just "enough" from your typical procedural/crime-solving show (by tackling cases from the unique lens of a sketch artist) that i could just convince myself it was grounded in reality. but what they did in s2... like, come on. let's not kid ourselves.

Shen Yi being so infallible and able to get away with so many reckless stunts is a Huge failing of s2. talk about "main character energy". they made this into a 大男主 drama when what (i found) appealing about s1 was the fact that it made both DC and SY brilliant and competent in their own ways. this season tried so hard to make DC seem like an unbudging traditionalist or something but ??? like, no! i agree with him that you can't just be arresting people based on their choices in interior design or jewelry! what the fuck??

(but, seriously. i will not deny that our subconscious influences our behavior and choices in many, MANY ways - but for Shen Yi to be making the most outrageous leaps in logic because this one guy had a certain painting in his office or this other guy had a lioness statue, like shut the fuck up... talk about trying to make/find meaning out of nothing.)

(also, also, LOL at talking abt the Oedipus complex in earnest. are you shitting me right now? have you picked up a Psychology 101 book at all?)

the fact this show even remotely suggested that Freudian psychoanalysis could be used as empirical evidence immediately destroys any goodwill i have toward the cast.

ON TOP OF THAT. the fact this show even remotely suggested that eugenicist Cesare Lombroso's theory of the "criminal man" should be treated as empirical and sound research is just... what are we doing here. what are we doing here???

(also if you look up the "warrior gene" and whatever other stuff FKY was "citing"... again, it's not empirical research. and i HATE that the writers tried to pass it off as an established concept.)

honestly i feel like the way they wrote this FKY guy in general is disrespectful af to what scientists actually do (or what scientists should strive to be). at the simplest level, how can he allow SY to walk into his lab so easily? and look at his data?? don't we have IRB protocols in place to protect research subjects??? what about where he gets his funding??? any oversight agencies???

but in terms of characterization, i felt that the parallels they were trying to draw between pre-7 years SY and FKY were such a stretch. because even pre-7 years SY was fundamentally kind - LIKE DOESN'T THE SHOW EVEN ULTIMATELY REACH THAT CONCLUSION TOO?? why WHY would SY ever feel like he and FKY were mirrors; they are fundamentally different in their bottom lines.

all this to say, i love the cast and i'm glad it was 原班人马 because everybody Delivered (and zheng yunlong did a great job too) - but, like, no wonder the original screenwriters left. this story is bs. we should've just left it at s1 because, to me, s2 did nothing except pander to shippers (and i'm mostly happily pandered! but i also care about the story goddammit).

(i say "mostly" because, again, i think they tried too hard to give SY a "protagonist halo." it weakened both him and DC, and their relationship as a result.)

i can't believe they're making a s3 but of course i can because they're making great money from this... hoping and praying that they can get the original writers back.

#cdrama ramblings #answered #猎罪图鉴

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darealsaltysam · 1 year ago

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hiya!! welcome to my blog!! im sam (she/her) and i like to write :3

wanna talk to me more privately/say hi/upgrade from tumblr mutuals to friends? join my discord server!! make sure to read our rules carefully please~

and since you're stopping by anyway, why not take a little look at my fics? i write on ao3 and have done work in many, many different fandoms! currently, you can find fics from the following;

ace attorney

fnaf

wynncraft

faith

the walking dead

star wars

paladins

marvel movies (mainly xmcu)

marvel comics

dsmp (mainly older, discontinued works)

below the cut i'm going to put more detailed descriptions of all of the fics i'm proudest of, so if any of the above fandoms interest you, take a little peek!!

as of 28/04/25, all my fics are archive-locked because of ai scraping. you will need an account to access them !!

ACE ATTORNEY

spiky twink rebooted

a very silly highschool au chatfic. crack with minimal angst here and there to carry some plot along, but it's very low-stakes. really just something i write for fun to wind down. perfect if ur looking for some good ol crack to turn your brain off to!

waiting for godot

a three-part fic exploring mia and diego's story in ace attorney - before, during, and after his coma. it goes into the background of their relationship and dives into godot's mentality after waking up and finding out about what happened to mia. angst with a somewhat bittersweet ending, canon compliant.

SOME OLDER FICS

Object Class: Fey - completed. an ace attorney scp au, very miego focused with some light background narumitsu. does not represent my current quality or style of writing, but i still enjoy the story a lot and am proud of the fic as a whole!

Time Paradox at The Turnabout - discontinued. a time travel fic of sorts. various different versions of various different characters travel to one time period, hijinks ensue. not that well-written and was never completed, but you might enjoy the concept!

the adventures of spiky twink and the burger queen - discontinued. older version of spiky twink rebooted - read that one instead!

spiky twink extras - discontinued. companion piece to the above. short stories within the universe, essentially!

FNAF

THE SCRIPTVERSE

the scriptverse is a trilogy of scripts + a prose prequel which seeks to retell fnaf lore completely. it sticks to canon in some parts but deviates in others, so it will surprise you even if you know the lore inside out! i made my own changes to the timeline, mixed and matched stuff from the movie, books and games... overall, just a big revamp of the whole thing, all told through movie scripts!

the series is made up of:

MR AFTON, a william-focused first part retelling the missing children incident

MR SCHMIDT [act 1], a michael-focused sequel retelling william's trial shortly after

MR SCHMIDT [act 2], a massive third part to the series which deals with the fallout of the murder and the trial, michael meeting jeremy, ghosts showing up in the pizzeria, and michael finding out he has a sister he didn't know about! crazy stuff!

mr emily & ms schmidt, a prose prequel to the series which focuses on how henry, william and his wife clara met

WYNNCRAFT

warm hands, cold hearts, gentle smiles (also holy shit is that bak'al over there?)

a fic which focuses on exploring the dynamics between the four twain brothers as kids + includes an appearance from wynncraft's favorite bitch boy. also, i made theorick less of a bitch by explaining WHY canon theo is such a bitch!

my legacy in death, your legacy in ice, our legacy in blood

a follow-up of sorts to the above fic, focusing on mael having to help nesaak post-theorick freezing it. the second half of the fic looks at the time mael spent training bob. all around lots of angst, some hurt/comfort in the second part, and a very, very bittersweet ending.

requiem

currently ongoing!!! an x reader fic that has you, the player, take on the role of the villain. you team up with bak'al to take revenge on someone who has wronged you. the fic, and even its description, contains BIG spoilers for wynncraft's late-game quests, most notably a journey further and a hunter's calling. it also explores some dark and uncomfortable themes, please refer to all relevant warnings!! read at your own risk!

OTHER FICS

closer, then you're close enough to lose - completed. a short, slykaar/bob one-shot based in an au i came up with together with @meefys !!

PALADINS

a city of self-fulfilling prophecies [paladins superhero au]

currently ongoing!!! a paladins superhero au that i've been putting together for years, and am now finally writing! most champions will be included as characters, with maeve, ying and lex as the three protagonists and corvus as the lead villain, alongside evie, cassie & kinessa, lian & rei, octavia and many others as major characters!

SOME OLDER FICS

the scholar loved the scion // and the scion loved the scholar, but not in the same way - completed. a short fic exploring a one-sided relationship between lian and rei. hurt, and no comfort!

FAITH

soul of christ (sanctify me)

a short fic which focuses on john and lisa's childhood, with a nice portion of catholic guilt and queer shame on the side (yes i projected onto john. no i am not sorry). very experimental but probably one of my personal fave works ever!!!

MARVEL (movies)

again and again and again and again

a 5+1 exploring charles' post-first class depression era, from hank's perspective. lots of bitterness, lots of anger, lots of sad feels, and a bitter-sweet comfort ending.

and daddy made a soldier out of me

currently ongoing!!!! the first fic of two in a big xmen au i've been putting together for two months now!! the au itself involves a lot of concepts and combines them to form a more complex retelling of first class, the ten year gap, and dofp. the changes to the story include; - cherik as soulmates - erik raising wanda and pietro, then him and charles raising them together - after the beach, wanda leaves with erik, and pietro stays with charles - the twins grow up apart (and erik doesn't get arrested, so he actually gets to raise wanda) - dofp reunites the family forcefully - angst ensues! - also, a few other mcu characters have been added into the storyline as alternate no powers/human versions to themselves to help with plot stuff. this means the inclusion of wandavision!!

OTHER FICS

oh, i will ruin you (it's a habit, i can't help it) - a very short cherik one-shot!! they make out a bit. that's about it!

MARVEL (comics)

Cogito, Ergo Sum

my own take on the house of m storyline! mainly focused on stephen's perspective of things as he slowly unravels wanda's spell. a way more compassionate take on her side of things, with a sprinkle of ironstrange for the soul~

the stories that you keep inside your head

a short one shot focusing on magneto, magda, anya, and years later, polaris !! basically just me giving the forgotten daughters a bit of love because i adore wanda but anya and lorna deserve some attention too !!!

OTHER FICS

below you can find all my other fics - these i'm a little less confident in, because they're either older works or discontinued ones.

tommyinnit - dragonborn! - discontinued. dsmp skyrim au, sbi focused, secondary dream team focus. i really loved this fic and writing it but was forced to discontinue due to... stuff(tm). im still very passionate about the story and happy with what i wrote here, so i recommend it if you're into it.

The Between Dreams and Memories Series - discontinued. a complete retelling of the dsmp storyline. was planned to have 3 parts - same as above, forced to discontinue. contains 2 complete fics (part 1 and a spin off) and one unfinished fic (part 2 of the planned trilogy). one of the biggest fics on my account, a product of several years of work, and a very important work for me, even if its quality doesn't hold up. read if you wish!

a house full of serial killers VS the barbie movie starring margot robbie and ryan gosling - completed. a very very stupid creepypasta chatfic oneshot. i wrote it in one sitting because i was bored. it's nothing special, but it's pretty funny!

dance with the devil - completed. a very short dsmp oneshot, focusing specifically on c!niki and c!schlatt. im still pretty happy with how it turned out!

Deserve Better - completed. a pretty badly written who killed markiplier oneshot. darkstache focused. one of the first fics i ever posted!

laughter [anidala] - completed. a short star wars one-shot i wrote for my girlfriend, focusing on ani and padme!

mutual hatred builds character - completed. a short the walking dead one-shot, focused on maggie and negan. NOT SHIP! i just think they're a fun duo to study like bugs

#fanfic #fanfic writing #pinned post #fanfiction #new pinned! wahooo!!#it took. so long :')

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corellianhounds · 2 days ago

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Hello!! I have a question! What are some of your writing pet peeves when it comes to Star Wars? This can also include movies, shows, comics, novels, fanfiction etc, just things that when you see it you go “oh no”

This is such a broad topic that has so many different answers, just because there are different pet peeves with each piece of media 😂 But here are some, largely about established media. (Fanfic pet peeves include these, but I also don’t hold fic writers to the same standard as the professionals)

Surprise character reveals that weren’t foreshadowed, hinted at, or set up throughout the rest of the story, similar to:

Plot twists that are unpredictable derailments rather than twists, just for the sake of keeping the audience from guessing the ending before it happens (especially when they’ve been done with the intention of being what brings viewers/readers in). If your audience has a good idea where the story is going, it means you’ve told a cohesive story— SO STICK TO IT

Nostalgia bait and poorly-written cameos that don’t support the main character or plot (and worse, seem to only exist to springboard other projects)

CGI when it should have been practical effects and real sets.

In movies and shows, not giving your cast the entire story in order to avoid ~spoilers~ from being leaked

Important or urgent information being delivered boringly or not given the urgency it needs (Most of the prequel trilogy, The Acolyte, TBoBF.)

Stories that are predominantly sitting and talking, standing and talking, or walking and talking (Prequel trilogy, TBoBF). Show me some VERBS.

Mischaracterizations of established characters. (My Han Solo essay is surprisingly concise compared to everything else I go on about. Han didn’t shoot first, he was the ONLY one who shot, and to rewrite that is to undercut his entire character arc not just for the movie but for the trilogy as a whole because Han Solo was not a good guy— He becomes a good guy.)

Writers writing what the audience wants instead of sticking to their guns and telling a solid story with actual stakes and consequences, and further writing that undoes the stakes of what came before it (TBoBF, Mando S3, just the whole sequel trilogy)

A lack of logical cause and effect, both in terms of established character history or lore, as well as common human nature/real life experiences (SOOOOOO many examples here. Like. So many. Most of them are in basically all of the shows, but the prequel and sequel trilogies are also guilty of it)

Lack of subtlety/Exposition-dumping and telling your audience everything they need to know instead of trusting them to put pieces together later. Pare down your script! Longer word counts are not automatically better stories and would often benefit from heavy edits to cut things out and retain the suspense, which is similar to…

Hearing every thought and emotion from the main character, and/or people stating their thoughts and emotions (or the obvious) out loud. Show the story through actions, cut down on the contemplation, stop having characters answer every question they’re asked or giving out whatever information has just been brought up. You can reveal things later (or not at all!) (Especially noticeable in the shows but UUUUUUGHHH I cannot STAND Prince Xizor and his fourteen page mustache-twirler monologue in The Mandalorian Armor.)

Characters not having identifiable goals. (S2 of Mando, The Acolyte, TBoBF, S3 of Mando)

Pulling punches (The Mandalorian, Kenobi)

Just… Stuff that derails from the plot (Looking at you, TBoBF N-1 starfighter sequence and random Pershing-Kane episode of S3. Tbh most of S3)

This one is specific to The Mandalorian simply because its behind-the-scenes were where I heard it from, but I suspect it applies to any show they’ve done using the Volume: If you’re going to storyboard the entire script down to exactly what shots you’re going to do and what your end result is going to be, without allowing for any deviation from it, why are you 1. Hiring different directors in the first place and 2. Not just making it an animated show

Lack of longterm planning or finite endings. All stories have to end.

Anyway! Those are what come to mind just because they stick out the most when I see them lol. I know it makes me sound like a hater, but these are criticisms that can be applied to any kind of story and medium

#Q&A #hounds speaks #Thank you!! I had to pare this down myself because I had like two paragraphs for every bullet point and it was getting too long 😂 😂

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romance-of-three-memes · 10 months ago

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Everyone nowadays talk about Fire Emblem Three Houses like it's the defining entry of the series and a lot of people act like it's the best thing that's ever happen to it but honestly? If you're trying to get into Fire Emblem as a series it's one of the worst places to start. It deviates a lot from the gameplay of other entries and that's fine, even if I'm kind of sick of the super specialized school taking over video games after it got super popular in anime last decade.

I mean, I love Three Houses (yes, it does take a lot of inspiration from Romance of the Three Kingdoms and yes, the faction that's the most like Wu is my favorite, but I swear that's coincidence because I wasn't even thinking about that when I first played it). But it's a terrible place to start, especially since I've seen a lot of people only play Three Houses and show no interest in playing anything else in the series, which yes, is also fine, I hate weird video game elitists and the Fire Emblem fandom can be one of the worst I've ever seen in that regard, what I mean is that a lot of new fans seem to go 'neat that was fun, I'm satisfied :)' instead of 'yeah I want more of this!' when their only exposure is Three Houses.

Anyway I have three recommendations on where to start, it's a series with seventeen main entries and who knows how many spin-offs so that can be pretty intimidating to newcomers, but most of them are one-off settings, like each game introduces a new world and new characters so you don't have to worry about playing most of them in order. All three of the games I'm mentioning are one-offs.

It kind of depends on what you're looking for most. Do you want something you can easily access on a modern console and is a much better representation of the series' gameplay and difficulty than Three Houses or my other suggestions (there's a lot of variance in that)? Then honestly, Engage is the place to go. People love to shit talk Engage and they did it before the game even released because of Intsys' lackluster marketing, and it was released right after Three Houses, people were always going to be extremely harsh on its direct predecessor. Hell, I wasn't even sure about it and put it off for a month or so when it came out, but now that I've played it I love it a lot. Lol sometimes I think I like it better than Three Houses. Also your player avatar can marry everyone regardless of gender, something which is brand new in a series that's had marriage mechanics for a good while now. Back in MY DAY if we wanted that we had to install MODS or settle for a small handful of characters, if even that, Awakening didn't have any of that despite literally no one in that army being straight (no, not even Virion, who multiple people on this website have picked fights with me about).

Anyway if you want something that's nowadays a little harder to access but is still pretty modern, and if you want a fairly easy entry into the series in terms of gameplay difficulty, I suggest Awakening, which is my personal favorite in the whole series (even if in retrospect it's hilariously busted in terms of game mechanics and it's Cisheteronormativity on Steroids, but don't worry, we have very extensive mods for that and they're easier to install than ever!)

I haven't quite finished Sacred Stones yet but I also think it would be a good place to start if you want something pretty straight-forward and retro and you think you can handle getting emulators to work, because a lot of legit physical copies of older Fire Emblem games are insanely expensive. Like +$200 USD expensive. This game is also similar to other older titles in that it lacks a player avatar (which most modern titles have) as well as casual mode, which is an option you can choose where if a playable character falls in battle, they'll be usable in the next battle. They'll never die unless it's scripted in the game's plot. In 'classic mode', which is all you have in most older FE games, once a character's HP hits 0, they're gone for good. You can't use them anymore because they literally die. I mean... You CAN just 'save scum', that's what most of us do, but still. There's been so much elitist griping about casual mode vs classic mode over the years but it's died down a lot from at its peak when Awakening was the newest entry, Christ people would NOT stop bitching about Awakening having casual mode, or just about Awakening in general, despite the fact that it literally saved the series, helped make it one of Nintendo's 'bigger' IPs in the west, and is the only reason we have everything that came after that. So there you go.

#what do i tag this as #other

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acaciapines · 4 days ago

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7, 10, and 11?

7. What fic are you the proudest of?

oooooh hm....im proud of a lot of my fics, i think, so narrowing it down to one is really hard. but i think at the end of the day it would have to be i know i'm not well. not just because its formed the foundation of All of my other deltarune works, but because its like...there arent stories about otherkin people, yknow? its just never an experience that is honestly and genuinely explored. and so just getting to DO THAT, and getting to see people able to see themselves and their journeys in kris is like, really, really good. people have told me this fic is how they found out THEY were otherkin! and its like, what the fuck??? thats WILD!! and its so so wonderful.

im proud of it for a lot of other reasons, too. but i dont think i can really verbalize it that well. its just like...of every story i've ever told, i think thats the one i HAD to. thats the one that wouldve haunted me if i never did.

10. How much do you write before you post?

all of it! i dont post in-progress works. when i write my stories, ESPECIALLY my longform stuff, tend to wildly deviate from whatever outline i had planned, meaning i will add and drop entire plot arcs. this isnt a problem when i can go back and edit the stuff i've had before! it becomes a HUGE problem ig i have any piece of it posted. to a minor extent this happened with my holiday-dreemurr kids series--when i posted endling i didnt intend for it to become a series, so like, i had to edit a few minor things. but the real place i learned this lesson was with my warrior cats series, lol, that thing HAUNTS ME but finishing it is such a daunting task because i want to change earlier aspects of the work, but like, they've been posted. so i'm stuck with what i have, even when i know it would be stronger if i edited those parts out.

so, yeah! nowadays i write and do all my major edits first, THEN start posting. this route for sure has some downsides--you have seen me talk about drk to myself for like two-three years now--but it means the final shared project is going to be its best possible version. and thats whats important to me even if it means i'm missing out on the most 'optimal' time to post, or whatever.

11. Do you outline your fics before writing them?

yup! the longer the work the more detailed it is. most of my oneshots are just like, a series of notes on my main Idea i'm getting at, but might leave the specifics a bit vague--the current outline for the next deltarune fic i'm planning is literally just some ideas for the plot, a script from the middle of a conversation, and then some notes on events happening around it. my outline for drk is 15k words and counting, and thats only what's on the main notes document, not counting the notes on drk itself + various pages of my phone, and that is absolutely not a static number--it'll only grow the more i write it.

for something like drk, when i start, i tend to break it down into arcs, and what the major events of each arc are. and as i write and solidify my ideas those outlines gain more detail. im never fully bound to them though--i will and do come up with ideas in the moment that i have to work back into past and future stuff. which is why i write the entire story before posting!

#ask

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erisenyo · 2 years ago

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"why does it feel like this is goodbye?" prompt- characters or ships are writer's choice. make me sad?🥺

For this prompt game! (And also this one!)

(Can be read as a follow up to this bakery first date one)

“—and I know you had certain plains and expectations,” Zuko continues carefully, feeling his fingers tangling more and more along with Sokka’s growing frown, “And I respect that you communicated those, this isn’t about your communication,” Zuko assures him, forcing his fingers flat against the bench and trying to breathe through the anxious tightness in his chest, “It’s me, not—”

“Zuko,” Sokka interrupts, sounding something between confused and upset, which does not help that anxious tightness thing, “Why does it feel like this is goodbye? Are you—” A flash of something small and worried over Sokka’s face. “—are you working up the nerve to break up with me?”

“What?” Zuko startles upright. “No, no. Why would…” he trails off, playing his carefully rehearsed speech back to himself, and…

“Oh,” Zuko realizes, blinking. “Fuck.”

Sokka hums, nodding. “The whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing.” Zuko winces. “And that we ‘needed to talk.’” Zuko winces again. “Asking to meet in a neutral location.”

“I like the park!” Zuko protests. “There’s turtles! And ducks!”

“Saying you wanted me to listen before responding.”

Okay, sure, Zuko can give him that one too.

“That you’d decided there was something you needed to tell me.”

Alright, well that one is a bit less—

“The fact that you didn’t greet me with any tongue in that ki—"

“Okay, okay, yes, alright,” Zuko breaks in, glowering when Sokka just smirks and not giving him that one. “We all get it, I wasn’t very clear, thank you for enumerating every example.”

“You’re welcome,” Sokka grins, hesitating a moment before adding, almost diffident, “And just to clarify. You’re not breaking up with me?”

“No,” Zuko huffs, exasperated. “I’m not.”

Sokka blinks. “…Why did you just say it like that.”

“Um.” Maybe he can play it off. “Like what?”

“Like you think I’m about to break up with you.”

Maybe not. “Did I say it like that?” Zuko asks, gripping nervously onto the edge of the bench. There was a reason he practiced so much what he was going to say…

“Yeah,” Sokka says slowly, staring at him. “You did.”

Zuko purses his lips. He…can’t really deny that.

“Zuko,” Sokka presses again, “Why’d you say it like that?”

And it’s not that Zuko thinks Sokka would break up with him over it, not really. He knows all the jokes about Sokka’s favorite thing about him being that he can keep Sokka supplied in fresh-baked free pastries for the rest of his life are just that, jokes. Kind of. Mostly. But Zuko still doesn’t know the right way to break the news that, “There are no pastries tonight,” he finally blurts out, wincing. That…was not how he practiced.

And Sokka just staring at him blankly and going “Huh?” was also not what he planned for.

“The Jasmine Dragon is closed for two weeks so everyone can take vacation,” Zuko explains. As mandated by Ty Lee, their on-the-spot-designated HR person. “So there’s nothing in the kitchens.”

Sokka blinks, scratching at his undercut and once again deviating from Zuko’s carefully game planned script. “You’re going on vacation?”

“Not really?” Zuko says, confusion twisting in alongside the nerves in his chest. “I have some stuff to do.”

“Staycation?”

That sounds better than watching all of Ty Lee’s plants, so, “Sure. Why not.”

“Cool,” Sokka nods, “Maybe we can—wait,” he suddenly cuts off, staring. “Wait, were you—were you nervous to tell me this?”

“…Uh.” Kind of?

“Zuko,” Sokka says, mystified, “What.”

Zuko can feel himself flushing, embarrassment squirming through him. “I mean.”

“I just.” Sokka shifts, looking like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or get upset. “Zu, if it’s that important to you I can bake you box brownies naked or something, like really, there are options beyond the Jasmine Dragon.”

…Now it’s Zuko’s turn to stare. “…What?” he finally manages, feeling like Sokka just made about twelve leaps across the conversation that Zuko didn’t even know were happening, let alone managed to keep up with.

“I don’t know,” Sokka huffs, shoving a hand through his hair. “I’m just, like, trying to communicate that this relationship is more to me than just suggestively eating pastries for you.”

Wait. ”For me?”

“And like, I know that’s how the past few dates have gone,” Sokka continues, upset definitely starting to win out, “But I don’t—” he stops himself, blows out a hard breath. “I don’t know what I did to make you think I’d only care about your ability to get me pet trios.”

“Petit fours,” Zuko corrects, automatic.

“Yeah, those,” Sokka nods. “I mean, they’re good, don’t get me wrong, like really, they’re amazing, but—”

Which Sokka said at length and volume at the time, so Zuko doesn’t feel bad about interrupting: “Every date.”

“—I don’t see—what?”

“Sokka,” Zuko says slowly, eyes careful on Sokka’s face, “It’s not just the past few dates. It’s been every date.” A fact that Mai was absolutely as merciless about when she found out as Zuk expected her to be, though not anywhere near merciless enough for him to stop.

“What do you mean every date?” Sokka says, startled. “We didn’t do that after the BBQ.”

Zuko gapes. “Helping to toast buns inside while you man the grill outside because you underestimated the RSVPs and everyone else who could help was invited is not a date.”

“Yes, it is,” Sokka protests. “We did a shared activity!”

“No it’s not, we didn’t spend any time together!”

“A good relationship doesn’t require constant togetherness at all times,” Sokka frowns, sounding like he’s repeating some quote. “And neither does a good date.”

“It requires being together for more than ten nonconsecutive minutes,” Zuko says, incredulous, and Sokka huffs, waving that away.

“Well what about the movie?” he says, switching tact. “We didn’t do pastries then either.”

“You mean the movie,” Zuko says slowly, disbelieving, “That we didn’t plan to be at together? And happened to see each other at while we were out with our other friends?”

Sokka nods like Zuko somehow expressed agreement. “And that furniture thing, don’t forget that.”

“That ‘furniture thing,’” Zuko repeats, amazed. “When my sister hired you off Task Rabbit to build her new bookshelves?” Which was a thin and blatant excuse, even if Zuko theoretically appreciates her care.

“You were there, too,” Sokka points out, like Zuko could possibly forget.

“And we were both surprised by it.” Azula wasn’t, though. “And generally, one is not surprised to find themselves on a date.”

“…Hm,” Sokka says after a moment, pursing his lips. “Let’s circle back to this one later,” he finally suggests, “After we talk about your whole pastry panic food thing.”

“Fine.” If Sokka needs to be shown what a date is then Zuko will show him a date. “But why do you keep saying my food thing?” he frowns. “It’s your food thing, you’re the one eating.”

Sokka opens his mouth, nothing coming out. “Wait,” he finally says. “You don’t have a kink for it?”

“Me?” Zuko blinks, surprised. “You,” he corrects. “It’s your kink.” And Zuko doesn’t mind, its completely harmless as kinks go, and easy enough to indulge, but Zuko wasn’t worried about the sudden lack of free pastries for himself.

“No,” Sokka says slowly, confused, “it’s not.”

“....What?”

“Zuko,” Sokka says, incredulous, “You brought it up as a kink in our first date!”

“So we could practice informed consent!” Zuko protests, ignoring the startled look it gets them from the couple across the pond. “I didn’t care, I just wanted to know.”

“And you said your ex was always doing food stuff!”

“For her job?” Zuko says, gaping. “Her job as a chef?”

“…Huh,” Sokka finally says, looking rather…stunned.

“Wait, wait,” Zuko says, trying to catch up to this entire fucking conversation, fuck, no one can never know about any of this. “So you don’t have a thing for it either?” he asks a little desperately. “You said you were so good at it because you and your ex did shit like that all the time. All the time, Sokka!”

“I mean.” Sokka rubs at his undercut. “I did say that,” he allows, “But he definitely had some kind of oral fixation thing going on.”

“And you don’t?”

“I mean, it’s fun, sure, but I don’t, like, need it.”

They stare at each other a long moment, the quiet sounds of the pond and the city filling the space between them, until finally Sokka says, “…So should we maybe do a few dates that don’t involve food in any capacity whatsoever?”

“Yes,” Zuko says almost before he finishes speaking, “Yeah, yes, let’s—do that. Good idea,” he says, fumbling for his phone, Sokka doing the same as they both start looking up alternate ideas.

#asks and answers #ask game #Anon I am not sure that this is bringing 'sad' in quite the way you envisioned lol #This is wholly and completely unedited bone apple teeth everyone #Sokka #Zuko #Zukka #fic writing #my writing

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