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a-lonely-tatertot · 3 years ago

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Finding Home

First / Wattpad / Ao3

A/N: Second to last chapter boiiissss :DD! once again betaed by the amazing @bookwyrminspiration! also @cadence-talle helped with editing after having to deal with me yell way to much about it!

words: 4731

tw: n/a if you do find any please let me know

The sun had set again, in a brilliant display of colors lighting up the sky. Sophie wondered what it would be like to be the sun; the center of everything, endlessly spinning. It was probably dizzying.

She chuckled at the thought before turning back to her girls.

That was right, her girls. Her Linh and Amy. Linh made her feel like the sun sometimes, all dizzy inside and out, not quite knowing what way to go. Not knowing what was right, only what her instincts told her (even if they were wrong).

Linh held her hand as they walked, finding their way down to the van, old and worn down, but it still held up with only mild complaints.

"We need more time," Fitz had groaned at the table that morning, Sophie responding with a hum of agreement. The twins weren't back to themselves yet and Sophie couldn't imagine going back to school and pretending that her best friend wasn't living with her pseudo-mom (was she even allowed to call Mari that?). Amy had perked up at Fitz's words, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Sophie," she started. "Do you remember that cabin Mom and Dad used to take us to?"

Sophie did. All too clearly if she could say. It was a fairly large thing, they went on summer breaks, and whenever they could. Countless memories of laughing and running around as her parents haphazardly yelled at them to not break anything (they tried, they really did—it wasn't Sophie's fault that the vase just had to be right there). "I do," Sophie said hesitantly. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing!" Amy yelled way too conspicuously. "It’s just that it’s super cheap right now, and-" she trailed off.

Sophie knew for a fact that it definitely wasn't cheap; the place was huge and everyone would be jumping to get at it. But, she hadn't seen her sister this nervous in forever, and it would be nice to see the place again, she had reasoned with herself.

So, she agreed because god dammit her sister deserved something good. That was how they ended up standing next to the van, giving last minute hugs, and trading promises to see each other soon.

She was not panicking. There was no way that she was possibly panicking. Sophie "The Moonlark" fuckin’ Foster did not panic about something as simple as packing for a trip.

Except for the fact that she very much was. And it was very much not okay.

"AMY!" she yelled, half stuck in her very small closet, as she stood on her tippy toes trying to reach the duffle bag stuffed in the very back. Why had she put it so far up? How had she put it so far up?

"AMY!" she called again. Where the hell was her sister?

"WHAT!" Amy finally yelled back.

"GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

A few complaints and grumbles later Amy was standing at her side. "What do you want? I have to pack still," Amy said.

"That’s exactly what I want," Sophie bit back. Amy raised her eyebrow and Sophie groaned. "I mean, what am I even supposed to pack?"

"Clothes?"

"No shit. But like what else."

"Sophie what the fuck how long has it been since you went somewhere?"

"We went to Mari's literally last week!"

"So why don't you know how to pack?"

"Cause that was for like two days! This is two weeks!" Sophie yelled, desperately throwing her hands up in distress.

Amy muttered something along the lines of "You are helpless," under her breath before grabbing the duffle out of Sophie's hands. "Come on, Soybean. We got shit to do."

"You know, saying my childhood nickname and a curse in the same sentence is really jarring." Amy huffed a laugh before tearing through Sophie's poor closet.

The van felt too large and too small all at the same time. Their bags were thrown haphazardly in the back, along with an outrageous amount of snacks. But even with everything there was still room. The thing that made it feel small was the silence. Amy's silence, to be more specific. The worst part was Sophie knew exactly what it was about.

Music drifted through the car, some random song about love feeling like a movie, and it made Sophie want to hit the radio with a hammer. Unfortunately, Amy would murder her if she even made a scratch on the poor van that was already falling apart. So, in a desperate attempt to ignore her relationship problems she changed the station. In the corner of her eye she could see Amy shake her head.

Sophie didn't ask for this, okay? So, it meant that she didn't have to deal with it if it was too much, right?

She knew she was wrong. Watching the memories, listening in, thinking of the girl she loved as a threat because that’s what she was trained to do! The war was over but its scars were still there.

She didn't need Amy's eye rolls, or her head shakes of disapproval, she didn't need Fitz's butting in. She didn't need it, okay! She knew. But dear God it hurt.

It hurt when Linh had kissed her that morning. It hurt when she didn't quite know what to do, if she was moving her mouth right, or if Linh could just see straight through her. Every mistake, every broken thought. Every stupid, stupid decision.

And then the question had to come out of Amy's mouth.

That stupid stupid question she had asked a million times over.

"Why do you keep doing it?"

She wanted to cry. Cry until her eyes were dry and her throat hurt and her insides cracked. Because that's what she was, wasn't she? Cracked. Shattered. Broken. Sophie didn't know why she lied. Why she went into the girl who she swore she loved, business. Why couldn't she just stop? Why not?

"I don't know," she said truthfully. Her voice was roughed and scratchy and wrong.

Amy sighed, "You know I love you. But you've got to tell her. Sooner or later, it’s just gonna tear you to shreds. And we both know you elves don’t do good with guilt."

"No, we don't," Sophie chucked bitterly.

They settled into uneasy silence after that. For once though, Sophie found herself agreeing with Amy. She needed to tell Linh. They were a ticking time bomb, only good for broken hearts and massive collateral damage.

The cabin was exactly how she remembered it. Old wood, old beams, old memories. Glass windows that covered the towering walls, trees that went as far as the eye could see. It was cozy, and Sophie felt small again. Like a little child waiting for her parents to come in carrying their suitcases as she jumped around yelling with all the energy in the world.

It felt like home, welcoming her back with open arms. And she couldn't be happier.

Well, until Linh had to walk and reality came crashing down.

And it didn't help that Linh looked good. She wasn't even wearing anything special, a cardigan over a crop top, some worn jeans and nice boots. Her hair had two short braids going around her head like a circlet and connecting in the back like a crown. Sophie hoped she could just die on the spot.

But she couldn't, because Amy was showing her upstairs to put their bags away in their old room (She and Linh weren't rooming together because Amy stated that she didn't want anything gross to happen. She was lying, and Sophie would be eternally grateful for that).

Sighing, she turned to go up the stairs, finally dragging her gaze away from Linh to haul the bags to their rightful spots.

After the bags were thrown lazily on the bed Sophie resisted the urge to unpack them just so that she could put it off for longer. So she made her way down the stairs, quietly asked Linh if she would meet her on the porch, and opened the door with a heavy sigh.

The lights were low—in any other circumstance it should have been romantic. Well, it was romantic; to the blissfully unaware Linh. To Sophie it was ironic.

She was cold, the air chilling her and it took everything in her to not wrap her arms around Linh's waist and bury her head into the crook of Linh's neck. Not right before spilling her guts. She promised Amy. Even if Linh hated her after, she had to do this.

"I’m sorry." Okay, not a strong start, but still a start.

Linh tilted her head towards her, "Why?"

Her hands moved wildly in front of her, "I- everything."

"Love, you've gotta explain," Linh said, giving Sophie those stupid eyes that seemed to see right through her.

Sophie sighed, she couldn't push this off any longer. The words fell out of her mouth like a waterfall, her hands following in stumbling movements. Tumbling out, overlapping each other, one not quite getting out fast enough before the next started. She squeezed her eyes shut as if she could block out the world and forget about what she had done, what she was saying, the look on Linh's face.

Oh god that look.

Sophie didn't think she would ever forget it.

When the words stopped, and her hands stilled and the world seemed to stop with them. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt her shoulders hunch involuntarily, folding in on herself. Part of her wished this was a fight she could win,the match ending with one of them on top and a blade to someone’s throat- because that Sophie knew. Not these emotions that she was taught to shove in a box. Emotions got in the way. They affected decisions. Honestly, Sophie thought she was free of that, being easily swayed like a tree in the wind by her own heart.

But fear still controlled her.

It made her do things she regretted. Things she hated herself for.

An iron grip that she couldn't escape.

The worst part about the entire situation was that Linh was silent. If there was one thing Sophie knew, it was that she was shit at reading body language. And seeing that that was the only thing she currently had to gauge Linh's reaction, Sophie was at a loss.

"What the fuck," Linh finally said, staring at the wood like she hoped it would help her.

Sophie wished it would too. "I’m sorry," she whispered.

"Let me get this straight," Linh sighed. "You watched my memories without my permission, listened in on conversations that I had. And when Amy tried to tell you not to, you didn't listen."

Sophie gulped, "Yup."

"I'm sorry."

It took at least a minute for the words to process. Linh- why was Linh sorry? Sophie was sure the confusion was clear on her face because Linh smiled sadly before speaking again.

"I never meant to lie to you. About coming here when I said that I had been at that road house the entire time. I wanted to tell you I just- I didn't want to think about it, how I pushed everyone away. And when I saw you I saw a fresh start, someone I could be someone else with and I wanted that. So I pretended I was fine. I’m sorry that you had to find out on your own."

Sophie chuckled dryly, “God, we’re both so fucked up.”

Linh laughed quietly. “Do you think,” she said, “that if we didn’t go through everything we did, if you stayed and I didn’t push you away, would we have worked?”

Sophie didn’t like to think about what could’ve happened, a side effect of losing so many friends.She remembered a time that with one word she would burn down the world for Linh. “I think we were doomed to fail,” Sophie said sadly. Because in the end, she loved the idea of Linh and not the girl herself.

Linh only nodded and they both ignored the tears in their eyes. Just walk away, she told herself. it’s time to go now, just walk away.

And Sophie tried, tried to peel herself off that porch, but no matter how hard she pulled she was stuck. Staring at the girl she thought she loved, tears blurring her vision, her head spinning like she was the sun.

Sophie just wanted to hold Linh because even if she didn’t love her like she thought she did, she still loved her in some way.

Linh’s head turned, her normally bright eyes that could light up the world were dull. There was no light behind them, and Sophie was haunted by the fact that it was eerily similar to the face she wore in the memory of bruised hands Sophie had watched.

In that moment Sophie wanted to take it all back. Her hands itched to hold Linh, to tell her that she didn't do anything wrong, to comfort her. But Sophie had lost that, lost the privilege to hold her. The realization hit her then (though she might have always known) that she didn't love this girl in the beginning. But spending nights together, realizing who Linh was again, she believed she loved her like she had. It hurt a bit, but she’d known for a while that she had fallen again, but she couldn't take back what she did and that had to be okay.

They stood there a while longer, tears staining both their cheeks, knowing eventually the moment would have to end. It was all gonna be over. It felt like leaving all over again and this time Sophie didn't have the strength to walk away—but Linh did. She left, pulling her hands away from the railing, leaving Sophie to stand in the slowly falling snow alone (she didn't know when it had started, or when the tears in her eyes were colder than normal, tasting like ice on her tongue).

Eventually, the cold forced her back inside. She found Amy waiting on the couch in the 'Great Hall' (a.k.a. Living Room 2 out of three). There was a book in her hand that dropped as soon as Sophie wandered pitifully into her sister's line of sight.

"Hey," Amy whispered as Sophie put her head in her lap.

"Hi," Sophie responded.

"Hello?" Fitz spoke from the doorway, voice startling both of them.

Sophie still didn't move, barely glancing back at him to see his eyebrow raised.

"Is she good?" Fitz asked.

"They broke up," Amy supplied when Sophie didn't give an answer.

"That explains why Tam's lookin’ like he's gonna commit murder." Sophie groaned in response, only burying her head further from view and into the blanket. She heard Fitz leave, expecting him to leave her with Amy in her misery only for his footsteps to come back. "Oh yes gimme," Amy said above her, hand leaving Sophie's hair.

"Nope, it’s for the depressed dumbass." Sophie raised her head to see Fitz grinning. The next thing she knew she was lifted off of the couch, trying to hold onto something, only for Fitz to slip under her and throw her over him and Amy. "There you go, you cat," Fitz laughed and handed her a tub of ice cream.

At some point the tub of ice cream would become empty, and at some point reality would come crashing down again and she would cry. In the arms of her sister and her best friend. At some point she would fall asleep to be woken up by a knock on the door. But right then she would grin, with Amy's hand in her hair and Fitz trying to decide what movie they should watch. Right then she would feel loved.

Someone was banging on the front door and Sophie was about two seconds from committing murder. It wasn't the knocks that had woken her up--no, it was that they meant Fitz was getting up, which meant he had to let go of her, which made her follow him around like a lost puppy because dammit he gave good cuddles.

Sophie honestly didn't give a shit about who was at the door, just waiting for Fitz to open it so that they could go back to the couch and Moana, which was currently paused. What she did not expect was Marella, Keefe, and Dex to be standing outside the door with suitcases and matching grins.

Sophie was too tired for this.

The grins faded as soon as Fitz and Keefe locked eyes and the tension in the room rose.

"You're- you're here-" Fitz said, his face painted with surprise.

"I brought friends," Keefe responded.

"Hello," Marella and Dex greeted.

"Hi," Sophie responded from behind Fitz, who was still locked in a staring contest with Keefe.

Finally, Keefe's eyes moved from Fitz and he grinned again when he saw her, "To be honest I'm not surprised that you and Biana set this up. Need a family reunion after a few years?"

"Biana?" Fitz and Sophie asked in unison. Neither of them had seen her since they had left. It made some part of Sophie queasy to think that Biana was left alone to deal with the council.

"Yeah? She sent us invites and plane tickets?" Marella spoke up, her eyebrows knitted together.

"I had no idea about those," Sophie said. "I haven't heard from Biana since I left. For all I know she's back in the Lost Cities."

"Actually-" a voice with a thick accent came from behind her. For a moment Sophie thought it was Fitz until a flash of light and long brown hair came into view on her left. "Hi," Biana grinned.

Five minutes later the Great Hall was packed with Sophie's friends who she thought she wouldn't see for at least another eight years. But here they were; Marella, Dex and Keefe crammed on a couch, Linh avoiding her eyes as she and Tam talked in hushed tones, Fitz anxiously opening and closing his hands next to her, and Amy and Biana talking in the middle of the room in harsh whispers.

Honestly? Sophie was done with the avoidance of the elephant in the room. "Are you guys going to explain what the hell is going on or?" Sophie finally asked, her exasperation clear.

"WE'RE HERE!" came from the doorway, a clear answer to Sophie's question. Dex's face paled at the voice, clearly recognizing its owner.

"Biana, Amy," Dex started, staring at the girls in the center of the room with a look of pure terror on his face. "Why, in the Ancients names, are they here?"

"Sup, bitch," Bex walked through the door, her lips pulled into a smug grin.

Dex's head fell into his hands with a groan that only got longer when his other two siblings joined them. The triplets weren't all that surprising. Unexpected, until you took into the account that this was probably some elaborate prank that would most definitely have the triplets involved.

The surprise, though, was the mop of curly brown hair and almost-purple eyes that walked in after them with a fond look of exasperation. Stina Heks was not someone who Sophie thought would be involved in this.

Tam shared her look of confusion, "Will somebody please tell us what the fuck is going on?"

That got a laugh out of the triplets and Amy, while Biana smiled and Stina looked bored. That wasn't much of a surprise, the bored face of Stina was one Sophie knew well (mostly from having to stare at it for hours during Valiant meetings, trying desperately for her to understand that she didn't have a choice to fight like she did). If anything, it was comforting to know she hadn't changed much.

"I don’t even know where to start," Biana said, and Amy laughed awkwardly.

"The beginning," Sophie deadpanned just wishing this would be over so that she could wallow in self pity in peace.

"Well..." Biana trailed off.

"This was a project to get your dumbasses together," Bex started.

Dex looked moderately distressed as he whispered, "Language", which only got an eye roll in response.

"We started it after you three left," Lex said pointing towards Marella, Dex and Keefe, who looked only mildly uncomfortable.

“Because all of you thought that the only way of coping was running away,” Rex finished. The room erupted in a cacophony of half finished excuses before Biana raised her hand, a pointed look on her face.

“And that was fine! For a while,” she started. “I kept tabs on you to make sure y��all didn’t do anything stupid, until I realized what the heck was going on with Linh-“

“Oh great,” Linh growled every head swivling to her in surprise, “another person who doesn’t know how to respect some fucking privacy!” Linh had stood as she spose, anger clear on her face. A sharp pang of guilt found itself stabbing at Sophie’s heart.

“Please, I just wanted to look out for you-“

“Oh shut up. You were doing it so you could feel good about yourself picking up some goddamn charity cases!” With almost every word Linh took a step forward, getting into Biana’s space with a snarl. “Well guess what. I was doing fine until you fucked with my life.”

“Linh-“ Tam called after her as she stormed out of the room. With a sigh he looked back at all the stunned faces; most of them had never seen Linh angry. “I’m sorry, she’s just had a bad day. I’ll go talk to her,” he said before following her out.

“Christ,” Marella murmured, watching the door.

The feeling of guilt only grew bigger at that knowing that she was the reason for the outburst. That her stupid fucking instincts could’ve-

“Soph,” Fitz whispered. “Sophie, look at me.”

She really really didn’t want to. But there was a soft urgency in his voice that made her look. “It’s not your fault, you came clean. How Linh deals with that is entirely up to her, okay?”

Sophie wanted to say that she shouldn't have done anything in the first place but stopped herself. She couldn't go down that rabbit hole, not then not ever.

Biana sighed, and her shoulders seemed to drop before she started again. "I'm sorry for watching you guys, I tried to stay out of most things just making sure y’all didn't, like, go to jail or fuck up a government or something," she said slowly.

"Bi," Fitz said, older brother instincts clearly kicking in, "it's okay. We tried to drop off the face of the earth-- we didn't exactly expect you to walk away unaffected."

Murmurs of agreement rang out through the room and slowly Biana’s hunched form seeped away to her normal stance.

Amy picked up the story. “We realized that you guys weren’t getting better and that frankly the Lost Cities were getting worse.”

“We might’ve not done it in the best way,” Lex said. “But you guys needed each other. All of you were hiding under facades with a false belief that you were getting better and it was feeding into the idea to run away. So all we did was point you guys to each other, a little nudge to the right spot.”

“Oh,” Fitz said next to Sophie as realization dawned on both of them.

“OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT!” Sophie said as soon as it all made sense. It was all planned! She wasn’t going crazy with paranoia (okay, maybe she was going slightly crazy, but that wasn’t the point)!

All she got was raised eyebrows and a snort from Amy as a response to her outburst.

“A little nudge?” Keefe asked. “You literally sent us a weird ass note with plane tickets and money so that we could be here—not very subtle of you.”

“Look, we were working off of what we had-“ Rex spoke, trying to hold in a laugh.

“Very cryptic, good job guys,” Marella laughed.

“Wait okay,” Sophie started. “Was Tam and Fitz ending up at Mari’s planned?”

Bex laughed and Amy grinned, “Nope! That woman just attracts strays somehow.”

Sophie and Fitz shared a knowing smile, remembering how she took them in with no hesitation.

“One last question: why are you here?” Dex asked, gesturing to Stina.

“I’m moral support,” the girl answered with a shrug, and no one questioned it.

“Keefe- Keefe you can’t fall asleep. It’s only four pm,” Marella said suddenly, shaking the boy's shoulder slightly.

“But I’m so fucking tired,” Keefe whined.

“Jet lag my beloathed,” Fitz chuckled, and Sophie felt it rumble through his body.

“Okay sleepy heads,” Biana smiled, because no matter how hard Dex and Marella tried to pretend they weren’t tired their eyes were clearly dropping. "Go to bed, grab a room upstairs that isn't taken."

"Dinner's at six!" Fitz called out after them and Sophie vaguely wondered if he would make one of Mari's recipes.

Fitz did actually end up making one of Mari's recipes, a simple chicken and waffles with hashbrowns and bacon. An odd thing to have for dinner, but when it tasted heavenly who was gonna complain? The smell carried through the house, dragging the occupants to the kitchen with growling stomachs.

Honestly, the sight was delicious and Sophie wanted nothing more than to just smack her face into it like an animal. It looked really good, okay? It was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

It was not, Sophie found out as she basically devoured a chicken strip in one bite, only to find the others looking at her in bewilderment (except for Linh, who was ignoring her existence).

"Jeez, it’s like you have never eaten before," Biana laughed.

Sophie considered throwing a chicken strip at her but held back for the sake of keeping her food to herself.

Meaningless conversation started after that. A million and one questions about where they all ended up, how they got there, all that. It was all fine for a while, Sophie mostly tuning out conversations and trying oh so desperately to keep her eyes off of Linh (she was only moderately failing). It all started to go downhill when some not so subtle giggles erupted from what Sophie had dubbed as the childrens’ end of the table.

The next thing Sophie knew, Keefe was getting smacked in the face with a waffle.

Predictably, chaos broke out after the declaration of war. Sophie chucked a piece of chicken at who she thought was Biana only to be hit in the face with a handful of hashbrowns. Dex, Marella, and Keefe seemed to be teaming up against the triplets—who were absolutely wild. And then Fitz and Biana were on the other side of the table pelting her and Amy with whatever they could get their hands on, Linh was helping the triplets. Tam and Stina stood off to the side, presumably judging them but Sophie didn’t care because she knew that they didn’t hate them until—

A loud smack rang out.

Silence covered the room as everyone’s heads turned to Tam,who had a waffle slowly dripping down his face. In that moment, Keefe looked scared shitless. Slowly, Tam took the waffle off his face, grabbed the tray full of bacon and without hesitation launched it at Keefe with deadly accuracy. Marella was screaming “man down,” the triplets and Amy were cackling, Linh was grinning (Sophie forced herself not to look), and Sophie had never felt more content.

The fight came to an end as everyone’s exhaustion started to show. Giggling like madmen, the large group stumbled their way up the stairs to their respective rooms. Sophie, too tired to think and walking on autopilot, started to follow Linh like a lost puppy to their room. It was their room, right?

A hand on her arm stopped her.

The feeling of watching Linh leave, watching Linh yell, saying that she didn't think they would've ever worked, came crashing down on her. Knocking the wind out of her, making her choke.

With a sad smile Amy dragged her back to their room, handing her pjs, getting her to the bathroom and holding her as she cried. They ended up on the stupidly large bed, Amy running a comforting hand through Sophie's too-long hair, as the moon rose, and the stars watched.

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #fitz vacker #sophie foster #biana vacker #amy foster #kotlc amy #dex dizznee #keefe sencen #linh song #marella redek #lex dizznee #rex dizznee #bex dizznee #jesus how many fucking character tags must i use #the entire dizznee family is here jeez #kotlc fic #tater writes #finding home

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sisterspooky1013 · 4 years ago

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Title: Everything

Author: SisterSpooky1013

Rating: Explicit

Words: 5030

Description: in an AU season 7, the IVF worked

Read it on AO3:

She felt sick, scanning the room for something she could throw up in if it came to that. One of the drawers was labeled “emesis bags” and she took a mental note. She couldn’t recall having thrown up a single time since her cancer went into remission, and she had the thought that this was a fact that would probably change if the procedure worked. She took a deep breath to fend off the nausea and looked around for something to distract her from the news she was waiting for. They’d drawn her blood 30 minutes prior and told her they’d call her with results, but she’d asked if she could wait, not sure she was capable of doing anything other than waiting, her stomach in knots. There was a rack of pamphlets on the wall about different tests, conditions, and procedures and she read over their titles, wondering if there’d be any she hadn’t heard of. “IUI,” “IVF,” “PCOS,” “POF,” the acronyms spoke to a world that could only be understood by the few that wished they didn’t have to be there. She noticed there wasn’t a pamphlet for “ova harvested by government evildoers (or possibly aliens) then later recovered under cryo refrigeration” and chuckled to herself at the idea. Mulder would have found that joke funny, but he wasn’t here. Not that he hadn’t asked to be, but she couldn’t stand the idea of having to get bad news in front of him. The downside was, of course, she’d have to repeat the bad news to him later, but at least she could have her own initial reaction in privacy.

Her eyes fell to a pamphlet titled “sperm donation” and she plucked it from the rack, scanning the panels that talked about how to select a donor and how to talk to a child about being donor conceived. Her selection of Mulder as her donor had been nothing like this. She’d spent weeks thinking about how to ask him, rehearsed the words over and over, considered sending them in an email, or calling him on the phone so she didn’t have to look at his shocked expression and watch him scramble for a way out. She decided that she’d insist he take some time to think about it, not accepting an immediate answer. She’d feel more confident that he came to the right conclusion if he had a day or two to consider it, and this would avoid her either worrying that his “yes” was one he’d come to regret, or wondering if his “no” would have been a “yes” if he hadn’t felt like he had to decide quickly. In the end she’d blurted it out after an evening spent spitballing about theories of alternate universes on his couch, their relaxed and comfortable banter a safe place for her, helping her feel brave. She’d been poised to walk out the door, her coat on, when she stopped and turned back to him as he rinsed dishes in the kitchen sink. Taking a breath and swallowing hard, she closed her eyes and forced the words out.

“Mulder, I need to ask you something. Something important.”

His expression was mostly concern, but there was curiosity there too. “Okay, what’s up?” He dried his hands on a dish towel and leaned against the doorframe, studying her. She wished he would have stayed at the sink, occupied. She wished he weren’t looking at her, his hooded eyes boring into her.

“Uh, well. You know that I’ve been pursuing in vitro fertilization with the ova you recovered.”

“Is something wrong? Are they not able to do the procedure?”

“No, nothing is wrong. It’s going fine. I’m to the point in the process where I have to choose a sperm donor. For the other half of the genetic material.”

“Okay.” He still had that same look on his face. He certainly wasn’t going to draw his own conclusions.

“I’ve looked at some of the donor profiles, but I’ve come to feel that I’d rather use a known donor than a stranger.”

“Okay.” There was more confusion in his face now than anything. She looked at the floor in frustration, sighing. Mulder laughed a little “I’m still waiting for the question part of this, Scully. Do you want me to help you choose?”

She laughed a little as well. “No, that’s not what I’m asking, Mulder.” She raised her eyes to look at his face. “I wanted to ask you if you’d consider being the donor.”

He opened his mouth as if to speak, but it just hung there and she recognized that it was an expression of shock.

“Please, don’t answer now, I’d like you to take some time to think about it. And it’s okay if the answer ends up being no, really. I wouldn’t have any expectation of your involvement, financial or otherwise. I just can’t think of anyone else I’d want to scramble my DNA with.”

He closed his mouth and nodded once, still not able to find the right words to say, or any words for that matter. She’d turned and left without saying anything else, leaving him stupefied in the doorway of the kitchen.

When he stopped by her apartment the next night and told her his answer was yes, she’d been so overwhelmed she nearly lost her composure and kissed him right there in her living room. She was glad when he’d left soon after delivering the news, so that she could cry tears of happiness, and relief, and grief that this was the only bit of Mulder she could potentially have the opportunity to truly love. Though she wanted so much more of him, this could be enough. That knowledge made the stakes even higher as she jabbed her thighs and buttocks with the fertility drugs that would prepare her body to become pregnant. It made it even more bittersweet when he asked after the side effects, making clear he’d done his research, and joked about the awkwardness of the donation room at the clinic, not wanting to come back out too quickly so the nurses didn’t come to any conclusions about his stamina. She wanted so much more of him, but she could accept getting to have his child as enough.

Standing to replace the pamphlet on the rack, she smoothed the front of her dress and tugged at the hem of her sweater. It was a Saturday, so she was in non-work attire; a lavender knee-length cotton dress with a scoop neck, paired with a white cardigan and white strappy heels. It was something she might wear to church with her mother, and somehow this situation felt like one she could treat with reverence and respect. She paced the room as the nausea returned, knowing that each moment brought her closer to something big. She’d decided that if the results were negative, she’d call Mulder once she got home. If they were positive, she’d stop by his apartment and tell him in person.

There were three soft taps on the door and her heart lurched as Dr. Parenti peeked his head in, a soft smile on his face. She immediately looked for signs of the results in his expression, though as a fertility doctor she also knew he was well versed in how to deliver this kind of news.

“Dana, would you like to sit down?”

That must mean it was bad, if he was suggesting she sit. She did as told and braced herself, already forming questions about her odds if she tried again; she knew she had more than one ova that had made it to blastocyst.

“Congratulations, you’re pregnant.” He had that same soft smile, his tone measured.

She heard a ringing in her ears and her heart seemed to stop momentarily.

“I’m sorry….what?”

“You’re pregnant. Your HCG levels are nice and high for 15 days post transfer. We can do an ultrasound in a few weeks and look for a heartbeat. You’re not entirely out of the woods, but so far everything looks very normal, and very healthy.”

Her slackened jaw gave way to a tentative smile, her expression incredulous.

“I’m pregnant? You’re sure?”

“Quite sure, we do this a lot here” he reassured with a chuckle.

“I…I’m a bit speechless, I’m sorry. I had prepared myself for bad news. What do I do now?”

“Just keep taking your prenatal vitamins, and your oral progesterone. We’ll have you taper off that in a couple weeks. Avoid any especially high impact activity, now isn’t the time to hit the slopes, but for the most part you can do whatever you normally do, while abstaining from alcohol, of course. Sex is perfectly fine, and healthy. You can make an appointment for three weeks out to do a transvaginal ultrasound, and if you experience any spotting or cramping, or any other symptom that concerns you, please call.”

“Okay, I will, thank you again Dr. Parenti. Thank you so much.” The initial shock was wearing off and she felt tears pooling in her eyes.

“It’s what I do. Feel free to use this room for a bit, if you need some time to absorb the good news. We’ll see you soon.”

He closed the door softly behind him and she was alone again, a pained smile etched on her face as tears ran down her cheeks. It worked. Somehow it had worked. She put her hand on her belly and imagined a tiny embryo nestled into the wall of her uterus. The cells duplicating, she and Mulder’s genes dancing together to form a little human who was half of each of them. She choked back sobs of relief and thought about picking up her cell phone to call him, but she wanted to wait. She wanted to see the look on his face as he realized what she was realizing. They were going to have a baby, the two of them, together. She would have a piece of him to keep and to love endlessly. Their child.

When she was finally able to compose herself, she walked out of the exam room and through the lobby with reddened eyes but a beaming smile. The couples in the waiting room all lifted their heads as she passed through, looking at her for a sign of hope as she had each time she was in the same seat. She met each of their eyes and gave an almost imperceptible nod. Good news. Yes. They all seemed to relax a little. Maybe it was their turn next.

She drove across town to Mulder’s apartment with the radio off and the window open, her heart bursting with the kind of hope she hadn’t experienced in years, maybe ever. For as many times as she’d wondered where she took a wrong turn in life that brought her to a point where a family of he own seemed impossible, she had never imagined how sweet it would be when it did happen. As she turned on to his street, her heart thrummed in her ears and the nauseous feeling returned. She was pretty confident this would strike him as great news, but was also a little worried that he’d react with fear or regret. Maybe he’d only agreed because he assumed it wouldn’t take. This possibility meant that by the time she was standing outside his door, hand raised to knock, she had steeled herself against disappointment if he didn’t respond happily. She was businesslike, sharing a test result with him as she had 100 times, this test just happened to affect them both more than the others did. He flung the door open before she’d finished knocking, as though he’d been waiting for her. He looked her over and took in her puffy, red eyes and solemn expression, his own face dropping in understanding. He reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, pulling her to him so he could wrap her in a hug while kicking the door shut behind her. She leaned into him, pressing the side of her face to his chest and threading her arms around his waist. He smelled like home.

“It’s okay Scully, we can try again.”

The ‘we’ in his statement did not go unnoticed. She smiled against him, her nervousness giving way to excitement as she gained confidence that his response would be a happy one. She laughed a little and he pulled away from her, his hands still on her shoulders, looking at her quizzically. She smiled a dopey, twisted smile and new tears welled, blurring the image of his deepening confusion.

“It worked, Mulder.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, trying to make sense of her words, her demeanor, her concurrent tears and smile.

“It worked. I’m pregnant.”

His eyebrows, which had been knotted in confusion, leapt up in surprise as his mouth slowly opened in an expression of shock, then stretched into a wide smile. Watching him realize what she had come to know in the exam room, that they were going to have a baby, together, was even better than experiencing it herself.

“You’re pregnant? You’re going to have a baby? We’re going to have a baby? You’re sure?”

She beamed at him and nodded enthusiastically, the ‘we’ in his words again filling her heart to bursting. Maybe he did want this with her, as more than just a donor. He pulled her to him again, squeezing her tightly as he pressed his nose to her hair and rocked gently back and forth. His joy was palpable, and she found it hard to believe that minutes ago she had feared that he’d be upset. She dug her nails into the flesh of his back and let her tears of happiness wet his shirt, not feeling a shred of discomfort at what was a very uncharacteristic amount of physical contact between them. This was exactly where she was supposed to be, right here in his foyer, next to his dining room table covered with junk mail and abandoned research papers, learning that the things she wanted from life were still available to her, with the man she loved, no less.

Mulder pulled back again, this time bringing his hands up to cup her face, and she was surprised to see that his own eyes were damp as well. She wasn’t sure if his joy was for her, or himself, or both, but the love in his gaze was undeniable. She placed her hands gently on his wrists and stroked his knuckles with her thumbs, returning his look. When he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, she closed her eyes and sighed. When he placed yet another kiss on one cheek, then the other, her pulse quickened. When he placed his lips softly on hers, she felt the ache of 1,000 times she’d wanted to kiss him run down her body, exiting through her toes and spilling out on to the floor. She kissed him back, partly because she couldn’t not, and partly because she desperately needed him to know that she wanted this, that it wasn’t a mistake. He released her lips and rested his forehead against hers, moving his hands to her waist, hers finding their home at the back of his neck, gently tracing his hairline.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this happy in my entire life” he whispered to her, and she laughed with the knowledge that she had given him that, that they had created this moment together, for both of them.

“Can I kiss you again?” The question was so earnest, and so hopeful, it tore at her heart. How could he ever think the answer to that could be no?

Instead of answering him, she pushed up to her tip toes and gently pulled on his neck, bringing him to her. She tried to make it as sweet and chaste as his kiss had been, but the un-sated desire of 7 years and the heightened emotion of the moment got the better of her and she devoured his lips, tugging at them with her teeth and tasting them with her tongue. She felt his hands slide a little lower until they rested just above the swell of her ass, and the resulting throb between her legs made her wonder how early pregnancy hormones could affect her sex drive. He pulled away then, breathless with pupils the size of dinner plates, his lips swollen and moist.

“I’m sorry, is this okay? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” he mumbled. As though she hadn’t been the one to put her tongue in his mouth. As though she hadn’t tipped her pelvis against his hungrily. He was so protective of her that he felt compelled to guard her from even himself.

“It’s more than okay, Mulder” she purred, already missing the salt of his sunflower seeds on her lips, already begging God or the universe that he should carry her to his bedroom. Full of wonder that only when his child was taking shape inside her could she find the courage to show him how she felt. Talk about putting the cart before the horse.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes searching hers. She had the realization that he may have been wanting this just as much as she had. That they’d been standing together on the edge of the cliff, waiting for the other to jump first.

She met his gaze and let down every wall she had built around herself, hoping that he could see in her icy blue irises how completely she meant what she was going to say next. Hoping he could hear the hum in her body that he was responsible for. “I want you” she said, surprising herself with her own boldness. Having seen today what possibilities awaited her if she took a chance, she no longer wanted to take the safer path. If leaping off the cliff meant a baby with Mulder, maybe a life with him, she was prepared to hurl herself over the edge and accept the consequences.

His face crumpled a little, his mouth puckering with emotion. She recognized the way his chin pebbled and wondered if he was going to cry. The expression quickly passed and was replaced by a tender smile, though his eyes shone with dampness. “You’re really hitting it hard with life-changing news today” he teased.

“Go big or go home, Mulder.” She replied, leaning into him and brushing her lips lightly against his. Her calves were tired from propping her up to meet his height and it was the closest she could comfortably get.

“Will you stay a while?” He asked, ever the gentleman, not wanting to assume anything about what would happen next.

She said nothing, but nodded, and he released her, taking her hand and guiding her to sit beside him on the couch. She slipped her shoes off and kicked them underneath the coffee table, folding her legs under her her torso and gratefully sliding under the arm he extended to drape over her shoulders, nestling into his side. He took her hand and held her palm to his lips, sighing deeply, then placed their joined hands in his lap and kissed the top of her head. With her ear against his chest, she could hear the steady measure of his heart beating and felt an overwhelming sense of peace. She wasn’t naïve enough to think that this was her happy ending, but even just this moment where she had the knowledge that she was going to be a mother and Mulder returned her affection, it was enough. She knew well enough by now that she should cling to even the briefest glimpses of happiness and normalcy, because they were too often fleeting and untenable.

“How do you feel?” He asked her, and she wasn’t sure if he meant the pregnancy or the kiss, or both. Years of experience taught him that any inquiry into her state would be met with “I’m fine” 98% of the time, but he still always asked. He needed her to know that it mattered to him. She tipped her face up to look at his, no longer trying to conceal her feelings. It was incredibly freeing.

“Amazing” she answered, and she meant it. She couldn’t recall ever feeling better than she did right now.

He smiled at her, his own demeanor always being so impacted by hers, and lowered his head towards hers until their noses brushed together. “I love you” he whispered so quietly she wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it. She tucked her face back into his chest to conceal a yawn.

“Am I boring you?” He joked, and she chuckled, facing him again while she shook her head.

“I’m just suddenly exhausted” she remarked. How much had her life changed in the past couple hours? It’s was a lot to absorb.

“Wanna take a nap?!” He proposed with the same level of excitement he might normally ask “wanna go to Kentucky?!” Except this time, what he was offering actually sounded good.

“You don’t still have a water bed do you?” Her tone was skeptical, but also curious.

“Nope, I got a real mattress after the last one sprung a leak, at the insistence of my landlord.”

“In that case, sold.”

He stood and offered her his hands to help her off the couch. Without her shoes, the top of her head barely met the height of his armpits and he squeezed her to him, laughing. “Is your money on this kid being average height? Will we cancel each other out?”

“I don’t think that’s how genetics work, Mulder.” She replied, her words muffled against the fabric of his T shirt. Spitballing about whose traits their child would inherit was beyond what she ever could have hoped for. She wished she could bottle this moment up and save it forever.

He escorted her to his bedroom, never breaking contact with a hand on her arm or back. She let her sweater slide down her arms and folded it neatly before setting it on his dresser, and then lay down on her back on the bed. He took his place next to her, lying on his side with his head propped up under his arm. He tentatively reached out and placed his hand on her stomach, just above her belly button. She put her own hand on top of his and pushed it down until it was low on her pelvis and he could feel the hem of her panties underneath her dress.

“More like here” she corrected with a shy smile, very aware of the intimacy of where he was touching her.

“Guess I need to brush up on my anatomy” he said dryly, transfixed on the gentle rise and fall of her belly under his hand as she breathed. He rubbed his thumb back and forth and she stifled a gasp at the contact, apparently not well enough because he turned his head to look at her face. “You okay?” He asked, his tone tender. She nodded. “Does this bother you?” He inquired further, and she shook her head no, reaching up to touch his face so he knew she meant it.

Turning his attention back to his hand, he said “I wish you weren’t wearing a dress so I could see better.”

She laughed and his hand shook. “See what, Mulder? There’s nothing to see, not yet anyway.”

He looked at her sheepishly “I know, but it seems like bare skin is somehow closer to the real thing. I realize as I’m saying this that it doesn’t make any sense.”

“No, it doesn’t, but the things we want don’t always need to make sense.” Her voice had a faraway quality, like she was applying the logic to more than just this specific situation. “You know there’s this really cool thing dresses can do that you don’t appear to be privy to” she continued in a much more jovial tone. Pushing his hand off her, she flipped up the hem of her dress to reveal her stomach from the belly button down, including her pale pink lace panties. Mulder’s eyes went big momentarily before he tried to play it cool.

“That IS a neat trick” he marveled, forcing himself to look at her face. He tentatively put his hand back on her lower belly and her skin prickled up in goose flesh at his touch. His fingers danced over her flesh, tracing the place her uterus would be, imagining the tiny life growing there. Wordlessly, he dipped his head down and touched his lips to that place, causing her back to arch into him and her breath to catch in her throat. Mercifully, he didn’t ask if she was okay with what he was doing. She didn’t think she’d have been able to form words if he had. She felt his tongue hot and wet, darting out a trail up to her navel. She sighed, a tiny show of disappointment that he had traveled up instead of down. Bringing his face back near hers, he kissed her again, this time drawing it out, moving to her cheek and then her ear. Her neck and then her chest. She felt like she was floating.

“What do you want?” He whispered against her earlobe, grazing it with his teeth.

“Everything” she sighed. Every nerve ending in her body seemed to be on fire.

He moved over her, his elbows bracketing her rib cage and his knees just outside hers on the bed. Kissing down her throat, he made his way to the neckline of her dress, slipping his tongue just under the fabric to taste the flesh of her breasts before continuing. Shifting his weight to one arm, he pushed the hem of the dress up further, exposing her rib cage, and kissed every inch of her, giving extra attention to each scar. By the time he reached her belly button, her hands were in his hair, encouraging him on his journey. He again found the place where their baby grew, dropping kisses for each night he had prayed to a God he didn’t believe in that they would exist. His tongue flitted under the hem of her panties and her hips shifted slightly in response.

Lifting his head to look at her he asked “is this okay?” and she said “yes” with as much conviction as he had ever witnessed in her face.

“It won’t hurt the baby?” He questioned. He had to be sure. “No, it won’t hurt the baby” she replied, touched by his care almost as much as she was aroused by where this was headed.

He kissed the insides of her thighs, ran his nose along the crease of her leg, pressed it into the damp fabric of her panties and inhaled the smell of her want for him. Her hips were gyrating ever so gently, rebelling as she tried to temper her desire, resisting the overwhelming urge to beg him to fuck her immediately. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and asked “okay?,” waiting until she said yes before he pulled them down her legs, tossing them haphazardly over his shoulder. He followed the same path again, kissing her thighs, running his nose along the crease of her leg, and then concluding with a kiss to her labia. She sucked air into her lungs sharply and her fingers in his hair grasped and pulled. It may have hurt if he’d been paying any attention. If he hadn’t had more important things to attend to. Gingerly, he tried his tongue against her slick lips, tasting her wetness. God she was wet. He found her opening and lapped at it before sliding up to almost her clit. But not quite. Her head was thrown back, hiding her face from view, her back arching wildly, her fists gripping at his hair. She made tiny sounds; gasps and truncated moans. She was trying self-consciously to be quiet, something she always worried about since an ex had teased her about being loud. He explored her, pulling her lips between his, sliding his tongue through each crevice and fold, pushing it inside her until he earned a soft moan. Finally he flicked his tongue across her clit and she said “oh” in the most breathy, beautiful way that he thought he might cum in his jeans. He continued the motion, listening to her responses and increasing his pace until he felt her body tense. Gently, he slipped one finger inside her and she gasped just before he felt her muscles clamp around him, a single piercing cry escaping her lips as she began to pulse rhythmically. He continued to lick her and flex his finger softly inside, drawing out her orgasm and eliciting an “oh my god” which made him smile. He’d always wondered if she’d say that in bed. He’d always wanted to make her say it.

When the pulsing subsided, he carefully withdrew his finger and crawled back up to her. She had her eyes closed and was still breathing heavily. He pushed down the hem of her dress, feeling as though he should protect her modesty, even in light of what he’d just done. Nuzzling his face into her neck, he waited to see if she might fall asleep. After a few minutes she spoke.

“Mulder?”

“Hm.”

“I’m not sure this day could get any better.”

He laughed, and she joined him, rolling to her side so that they were face to face, her leg threading between his while her hand wrapped around his waist. He brushed her hair from her face and kissed the tip of her nose tenderly.

“Thank you” she whispered, her voice full of emotion.

“For what?”

She shrugged, her voice caught in her throat. “For everything” she rasped out.

He shook his head. “You are everything, Scully. Thank you for letting me be a part of it.”

She nestled against his chest, taking comfort in the circles he traced on her back until she drifted off to sleep.

#the x files #txf #gillovny #sculder #msr #fox mulder #dana scully #xf fanfic

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firefly-in-darkness · 4 years ago

Text

Galaxy Princess - 1/3

Characters → Y/N & Peter Quill, Mentions of other Marvel characters.

Summary → After the birth of superheroes, several alien attacks and the blip, you were pretty much ready for anything. That was until you met Peter Quill. He burst into your life at lightning speed and nothing could have prepared you for the way he turned your world upside down.

Word Count → 3k

Warnings → Swearing, later warnings; 18+ Smut, Fluff.

Series Taglist → OPEN - send an ask.

Beta → @princessmisery666 // all mistakes are my own.

A/N → Should have posted this at half 7 but everything seemed to go wrong BUT it’s here now... This is for @crushedbyhyperbole - I am so sorry that this is months late to your challenge! [Prompt: To the moon and back - in Part 3]. And I actually have a schedule for the release for this 3-parter… This is GOTG Vol1&2 Peter Quill set in a post-Endgame world.

Return to: Series List // Marvel List

That Friday feeling was in the spring of Y/N’s step, and how she threw off her stuffy office clothes and traded them for baggy top and sweatpants. It was in the way she put on her favourite playlist, shimmied a pizza in the oven and how she shut the fridge with a pop of her hip. She twirled around the kitchen in between sips of beer, lifting her spirits higher and higher.

At the sound of the oven alarm beeping, she plated up the pizza, walked through her apartment, and flopped a blanket over her shoulder in preparation for her Friday night tradition. It had been a hard week at work, and she couldn’t wait to unwind in one of her favourite spots.

She climbed out of the lounge window onto the fire escape, ascending the steps carefully as to not drop her pizza and beer.

“Careful out there, Y/N,” Stan, her neighbour, said.

She paused at the window ledge and grinned back at the elderly gentleman sitting in his armchair. He looked over the top of his glasses with a fond smile.

“I’m always careful Stan,” She winked and carried on with her climb.

On the rooftop, overlooking the countryside in the distance, Y/N could relax and get away from work. She’d been a temporary administrator at a financial company for six months, but she didn’t seem to fit in with any of her colleagues. She soon discovered that she was often talked about because she was different. ‘Different’ meant Y/N didn't join them for the weekly drinks at the local bar or partake in office gossip. None of it was her thing and, to them, that made her ‘weird.’

On many occasions, Y/N had overheard them guessing about her private life and it took its toll after hearing the same repetitive comments; she never talks about her family. Or friends for that matter. She needs to get laid. She's a bit of a freak. Too wrapped up in all that alien abduction and sci-fi nonsense.

And that’s how being on the rooftop, with pizza and a couple of beers, became a weekly tradition and a place of solitude. Unwinding with music and the starry sky above, Y/N could pretend the world below didn’t exist.

The mellow music drowned out the noise from the street below as she stretched out on the sun lounger. A contented sigh left her mouth as the blanket enveloped her in comfort and the warmth seeped into her bones.

The sun setting over the woodland in the distance was the perfect backdrop for her to relax as she munched on the pizza. Y/N adored the way the peach glow filled the skyline and silhouetted the trees against the horizon.

The greasy delight helped to soothe her but couldn’t quiet all the gossip she’d heard about herself that week. Especially the remarks about her sex life. They had no idea if there was any truth to their assumptions, but no amount of beer or delicious food could drown the thought completely.

Over the last couple of years, Y/N had pretended that she was happy. That she was content with being on her own but deep down she had given up. Her inability to navigate the dating scene successfully was not something she was proud of but then again, she’d had too many awful and lame experiences to count.

She was a moon without an orbit, drifting in an endlessly dark sky. It was as if everyone else had been given access to this world of love and relationships and she was left alone. She couldn’t recall the last time she felt wanted or needed and it tugged at her chest.

Her wall of denial had crumbled, and the hot tears slid down her cheeks. She’d been lonely, had been for a while, but when other people noticed, it stung more than she liked.

The bright sky faded to navy, the stars flickering on in anticipation of lighting the night sky. Y/N longed for whatever was beyond the Earth’s atmosphere, up where those stars sparkled even brighter.

Y/N had always dreamed of being somewhere else. She felt as if she didn’t belong here that she was destined for more than a mundane office job and daydreaming of the world beyond the solar system. One day, somehow, she knew she’d fly away from this place and find somewhere that she belonged.

A bright flash streaked across the sky, a shooting star. Y/N grinned, shuffling to the edge of her seat, ready to make her wish. Until she realised the light was getting bigger. Her eyes widened as she watched the flaming ball crash into the woodland in the distance.

Y/N scrambled to her feet; the blanket was forgotten until she fell to the ground. Knees scraping against the concrete. The tangled fabric was pushed away, and she gingerly rolled up her sweatpants; luckily, it was only a scrape, nothing to worry about.

She jumped up, grabbed her phone, and rushed down the fire escape. Once inside, she slid on her fluffy socks along the hardwood floor then hopped around to put her sneakers on while trying to grab her backpack. Luckily, she made it out without an accident.

Minutes later she was navigating the roads to the woodlands, her body hummed with adrenaline and her mind raced with wonder; what was it? A meteor? A spaceship? Aliens? Oh shit. What if it weren’t friendly? What if the Avengers showed up? She wasn’t sure she cared as she swerved the car off the road and into the empty parking lot, kicking up gravel and dust. This was an opportunity she wouldn’t let pass her by.

Y/N eagerly dived out of the car, made sure her sneakers were laced and her phone was in her pocket and jogged up the main path to the woodland. Before long, her clammy skin began sticking to her cardigan. She pulled it off and wrapped it around her waist. Her eagerness to get to the crash site and all the possibilities of what it could be, she hadn’t realised how far off the beaten path she was.

The moon was her only source of light, but the towering trees made it seem as if it were playing hide and seek on the ground. She put on her phone’s flashlight, her heart racing as she stumbled along the less maintained route.

Her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness as the flashlight remained trained on the ground. Nerves bubbled in her stomach and her legs began to shake as she neared the potential landing site.

A faint orange glow flickered against the tree trunks, the air thick and sticky with fumes. Y/N picked up her pace, approaching the smoke that billowed from the wreckage and the flames licking at the grass. Light and ash that spit out from the chewed-up metal.

She raised her arm, shielding her eyes from the bright glare so she could access the wreckage. It wasn’t any kind of spaceship she’d seen before. It didn’t look like the ones from the attack on New York or reported after The Blip. It was small, could fit one adult at most.

A groan rang out nearby and she whipped around to see a man, a human man, fall to the floor a few meters away. In a flash, she landed on her knees, pain shooting through the already damaged skin, and rolled the person over, pulling at the red leather jacket.

Y/N placed her cheek near their face and relaxed when she felt their light breath caressing her skin. Her fear subsided, and she was finally able to look at the man, her heart fluttered at his rugged look; the stubble scattered across his jawline, a gash across his cheek and his fluffy dirty blond hair.

The crackle of the flames and the metal whining behind caught her attention again. She hauled him away from the ship, afraid they were in danger of being burnt. After a few tugs, she fell backwards onto her bottom. Another groan came from the man below her and she hoped she hadn’t hurt him. She looked down at the handsome spaceman, his head rising from her lap with a deep frown and eyes scrunching with confusion.

“Hi,” Y/N spoke softly, hoping not to alarm him.

He shuffled slightly, trying to turn and brace his hand on the ground but gripped her thigh. She watched the realisation dawn on his face, he looked up at her and back down between her legs, a huge grin across his face, “Well this isn’t a first.”

Y/N shoved him backwards and scrambled away.

He planted his arms to avoid face planting the ground and turned to the wreckage. “What the hell- Oh man, look at this,” He jumped to his feet and began inspecting and discarding chunks of metal and wires. “No, no, no!”

Y/N was frozen to the spot, her thoughts blank as she watched the man dash around the wreckage, throwing items over his shoulder in obvious frustration.

After a moment, she stood up and raised her arms in defence. “Maybe you should sit down, you did just crash landed.”

“I need to get back to my ship.”

He may have looked human, but if he had a spaceship, he clearly wasn’t. Oh shit, I’m talking to an alien.

“I can help,” she stuttered before clearing her throat, willing herself to not sound so defenceless or unsure. “But please don’t hurt me,” She pleaded.

He stopped mid-throw, the mangled metal hovering over his shoulder, and twisted on the balls of his feet to look at her. His piercing blue eyes alert, an exaggerated gape in his mouth before he spoke, “I’m not going to hurt you, you turd blossom.”

Y/N blinked at his insult, uncertain how to process being called a turd blossom. He walked towards her and she stepped backwards as he grew closer until her back was against a tree. He rested his arm above her head, leaning against the trunk, a cheeky grin forming on his face.

“So, I’m a little stuck and need a little help with contacting my ship.”

Y/N shoved him away, “Your smoldering isn’t going to work on me.”

“Smoldering?! I was not smoldering.” He stuttered and held up a mangled item that looked like a walkie talkie. “Do you have anything that can help fix this or a way I can contact my ship so I can get off this crappy planet?”

Y/N paced back and forth, she wasn’t sure what to say or do, her mouth opened and closed. Of course, she had a radio back at her apartment, but she wasn't going to let a stranger into her home. Y/N knew it was crazy, but she had to help him. She spun around and pointed at him, he looked from side to side as if looking for someone else.

“Yes, you! I will take you somewhere that has a radio. But no funny business.”

He crossed his heart, dramatically and she rolled her eyes. “Follow me.” She spun on her heels, “Are you coming or - what’s your name?”

He jogged up to Y/N’s side and matched her speed, “Starlord.”

She paused, mid-step, chuckling, “Is that your name?”

“Yes! I’m a famous outlaw.” His brows furrowed and his jaw set.

“A famous outlaw that calls people turd blossoms,” she chuckled, “what are you wanted for, crappy insults?”

He scoffed and from the corner of her eye she noticed him smirk though he sounded offended, “a whole list of things that if you knew about, you’d be shocked.”

“Got it, you're a real bad guy, Starlord.”

This time he really was offended, “do you have a better name?”

She snickered and couldn’t help herself, “Galaxy Princess.”

He laughed loudly up at the sky, “I like you Galaxy Princess,” he admitted.

She dropped her head to watch her feet and tried to stifle the happy grin that wanted to break out on her face.

One short car journey filled with awkward silence later, they were in Y/N’s apartment, and inside the box room. A desk and computer on one side, the opposite wall filled with pictures, newspaper clippings and maps of Earth and the solar system. Embarrassment tingled on Y/N’s cheeks as she began to clear the mess of takeout containers and used coffee cups that were on her desk.

The radio unit was pulled forward and she passed the mouthpiece to him. Noting how dazed he was by all the assorted items in the room, picking them up and inspecting them as he’d never seen a tablet or Bluetooth speaker before. Then she remembered, alien. His technology was far more advanced.

“Here, if your spaceship is in our atmosphere it should pick up this signal.” Y/N flicked at the switches and turned the dials; white noise unleashed into the room until it went almost silent apart from a faint buzz.

Starlord stared at the equipment and muttered under his breath, “I can’t believe that I actually wish Rocket was here.”

Y/N ignored the comment, he hadn’t wanted her to hear what he’d said, “Do you know what frequency your ship uses or anything that would help connect to the comms unit?”

“Of course, I know what frequency my ship uses.” He stepped around her and started to fiddle with the dials, white noise filling the room once more. He winked and gave her a lopsided grin, like the one earlier when his face was in her lap. “It’s my ship. I know the frequency. Yep.”

To save Starlord the embarrassment of having no clue, Y/N turned her focus to the broken device he had brought with him. Metal scratched, wires exposed and broken. With enough technical knowledge, she realised it was more of a transmitter than a radio.

“I think I might be able to fix this, but I don’t have anything that resembles these parts.” Y/N didn’t realise he was right behind her and bumped into him with a surprised yelp.

“Woah there!” He steadied her with his hands on her arms, “Didn’t mean to make you jump,” he said as she turned to face him. She felt the blush spread over her cheeks and he smiled, “Unless you did that on purpose. Considering you like my smoldering,” he winked.

“I didn’t say I liked your smoldering, I said it wouldn’t work on me.”

Y/N hoped that he didn’t have superpowers otherwise he’d hear the pounding of her heart but what unnerved her more than his proximity, was that she couldn’t work out if she was scared or captivated. It was definitely the latter. His thumbs rubbed softly and sparked a shiver. Her thoughts caught back up to her and she led them into the kitchen and grabbed the first aid kit off the shelf.

“So how did you end up in an escape pod?” She asked, moving into the lounge.

“Ha. I don’t think you’ve got time for the long story,” he said as she perched on the couch. “So, I’ll give you the short version.” He joined her and reclined back into the cushions.

“I’m happy with either,” Y/N offered, turning to face him, with an acute awareness of her knee brushing against his thigh. “May I?”

Starlord glanced down, noticing their closeness and her fiddling with the box. His chest inflated, proud and a smug smile; he was eager to let her tend to his wounds and talk of his heroism and escape from evil.

He cleared his throat before sinking further into the couch, “I’m more than willing to oblige a beautiful woman with my stories, sweetheart.”

Y/N snorted and began to clean the gash on his cheek while he explained how his crew’s mission hadn’t gone to plan. It was supposed to be simple; get on the spaceship and pick up the wanted person then to collect the bounty. Y/N watched him tell the story in between winces of the antiseptic wipe; the way his eyes lit up as he retold the plan and mentioned his companions; Rocket and Groot.

She wanted to know more but she was distracted by his animated expressions. Gosh, he’s handsome, Y/N blushed at her thoughts, “will you stop moving. I can’t fix this if you don’t hold still.”

Y/N was grateful for him not seeing the embarrassment and refrained from moving erratically so she could apply the butterfly stitches. He continued with how he hadn’t expected the spaceship to have a bunch of Kree and Sakaarans on board. She bounced in her seat, the excitement taking over at the mention of the alien races.

Starlord chuckled at her enthusiasm, “I’ll tell you more about them bastards later. The escape pod was my only option, but it malfunctioned after it took several hits from the attack shuttles.”

Y/N clamped a hand over her mouth, in fear and amazement that he’d managed to land it somewhat safely and without extensive injury. She felt shy under Starlord’s scrutiny and the way he was likely to judge the brightness in her eyes, the intrigue she had for life beyond earth.

“Now I’m stranded on Earth and have no way of communicating with my crew back on the Milano.” He shrugged his shoulders, “Luckily I had a beautiful woman come to my rescue.”

Y/N pretended not to hear those words as the weight of the night’s events hit her suddenly and she tried to stifle the yawn, “Sorry, can we have a look at this in the morning?”

“Sure.” His bright smile dropped a fraction, he recovered it but not in time for her to miss.

Spare bedding was placed on the sofa and Y/N directed him around the apartment, “The shower is just down the hall. If you can’t sleep, here’s the tv remote and help yourself to food.”

“Thank you, Princess.”

“Goodnight, Starlord.”

“It’s Peter.” His cheeky smile had faded to something softer.

“Y/N. Goodnight Peter.”

“Sweet dreams, Y/N.” He laid down and continued to wave until she shut the bedroom door.

Y/N was too tired to process that she was leaving a stranger on his own, in her home. There was an odd comfort from his determination to get back to his ship and crew; the place he belonged.

To Be Continued...

Everything Taglist: @reann-loves-sebstan / @aroyaldarknessblr / @thefridgeismybestie / @kitkatd7

Marvel Taglist: @natasha-danvers / @musesforart

Series Taglist: @justagirlinafandomworld

#Peter Quill x Reader #Peter Quill #Starlord x Reader #Starlord #Peter Quill Fic #Starlord Fic #Guardians of the Galaxy #Guardians of the Galaxy Fic #GOTG #gotg fic

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hollyhomburg · 5 years ago

Text

Call me Yours Pt.4

(Ot7 x Reader) (Hybrid Au!) (Blind! Reader)

Summary: You never would have imagined that more love was hidden right next door, just over your garden fence.

Pairings: (Human! Hoseok) x (Human! Reader) x (Wolf hybrid! Namjoon) x (Dog hybrid! Seokjin) x (Cat hybrid! Yoongi) x (Tiger hybrid! Taehyung) x (Bunny hybrid! Jungkook) x (Cat hybrid! Jimin)

W/c: 8.6k

Tags/Warnings: Implied hybrid abuse, mentions of hybrid heats, oral, brief sexual content, in heat! Jimin, Sub! yoongi, Dom! Seokjin, slow burn,

Note: The poem briefly referenced in this is typewriter series 2091 by tyler knott gregson, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter thats way way way too long. what even am i trying to do anymore with this series. next part won't be for a while (cuz im going to try to get some other things from different series out in the next few weeks.)

- It’s kind of a lazy day, you’re in between work assignments and Seokjin is on the phone talking with someone about the possibility of a collab. Namjoon and Yoongi are upstairs (you’d heard muted moans coming from Yoongi’s room though- and though initially you’d had half a mind to join them- you realized that you where a little not in the mood after hovering by the door for a few seconds.)

- So you’d made yourself a cup of tea and put your cellphone in the pocket of your fuzzy cardigan and been intent on listening to the news on your back porch with only the company of the birds so as to not disturb Seokjin. It’s a sunny afternoon.

- You can tell from the warmth and the little bit of light you can see that it’s going to be a nice day. The muted shape of the bird feeder hanging, aware of it from the flick of movement that can only be a bird, Fast and quick- it flits across your small field of vision, and you feel your brain relax a little always hungry for any bit of visual stimulation that it can get.

- You hear something shift- someone more likely, the shlick of fabric against the wood of the stairs. You know the listless sound of hybrids enough to not be startled. “Taehyung?” you guess out loud.

- “Nah it’s me” Jimin answers, and you hear the sound of something furry hitting wood, probably his tail flopping in a light flick, and then the scratch and of a pencil on paper. A bird chirps at you from the birdfeeder as if suddenly startled/ “Where you waiting for Yoongi?”

- “Kind of” he says, and you can hear the pout in his voice as you take your seat at the glass table, wrapping the blanket more firmly around your shoulders. Jimin offers no more explanation for his appearance, but you don’t ask after it. “Will the news bother you? I’m trying to find a quiet place to listen because Seokjin is on the phone.”

- “It won’t- you can play it.” You click on your phone and set it on the table, kicking your feet up on the opposite chair, the drone of your favorite newscaster voice soft and quiet against the melody of the birds and Jimin’s scratching. The first segment ends, and then the next ends too. Your teacup ended.

- You can still dimly hear Seokjin’s laughter as he talks to the person on the phone- you think it was some other cooking YouTuber who has a fox hybrid partner that wants to start some kind of cooking show with Seokjin. So you stay outside, content to listen to the birds and puzzle along your own thoughts. That and the sound of Jimin’s pencil scratching along a pad of paper.

- “What are you working on?” you ask about a half an hour after you first sat down. The scratching stops at your question. “I’m ugh- just drawing Namjoon’s garden- since it’s so pretty, and because Jungkook and him aren’t working in it and like moving stuff around yet.”

- “Oh can I see it?” “Uhm- sure?” Jimin says, not really sure what you mean, but he brings his sketchbook over regardless, he’s nearly done anyway, he takes a second to darken up the spot by the fence that’s in early morning shadow. The hedge a muted dark shape.

- Your fingers glide over the paper feeling where the divots are in it- the oblong shape of a leaf; there is something gorgeous about the careful pattern of strokes. You feel under the paper too- trying to feel the parts that must be the most heavily shaded.

- “You know I can’t really tell when things are beautiful from a visual standpoint but this- it seems really nice.” Jimin is so thankful that you can’t see his blush (and then instantly feels guilty for feeling thankful for your blindness) but really- he doesn’t show his drawings to like anyone yet, it’s still a new thing that he’s exploring. He takes his sketchbook back from you after a moment stuttering out a thank you.

- Hoseok only sees the sketches because Jimin has the unfortunate habit of leaving his papers around in Hoseok’s spare room. He keeps his sketchbook (the first thing he’d ever asked for from Hoseok) shoved in a drawer in the spare room back home and closed with a large rubber band when he’s not drawing in it. He’s only had the book for a few months but already he’s almost completely filled it up.

- He’s sketched everything, the moonlight shifting through Hoseok’s kitchen and the reading nook, Hoseok’s favorite mug that he uses every morning, the blue and yellow polka dots sketched in painful detail.

- The line of the buildings that Jimin can see from the roof- a full panorama of the city limits. Their front door and the old empty window boxes (Now full of pansies from Namjoon), the sleeping face of Taehyung- his cheek pressed to a pillow mouth almost open. Jungkook’s ears laced through his curly hair as his back is turned to Jimin as he plays his video games.

- The line of Hoseok’s legs and arms slung over the leg of the couch, his sharp nose and equally as jagged jaw, his eyelashes cushioned against his high cheekbones. The curl of his hair against his forehead and endlessly Hoseok's delicate lips. the downturn curve of his brow as Hoseok sleeps.

- Jimin doesn’t draw any of them when they’re awake, doesn’t ask them to sit for a portrait. He isn’t confident enough about his skills to show anyone, at least not yet (and maybe not ever). Jimin noses along the edge of your shoulder and it’s a testament to how use to affection from hybrids you are that you don't even shift when he begins to cuddle up against your back.

- “I could… draw you? If you want?” Jimin mumbles against your scapula, cheeks warm, fingering his pencil in his hands. You lean back in your chair, “sure just let me like- start a new podcast or something.” You flick on a podcast and lean back in your chair.

- “Turn your face a little bit to the left” Jimin says, so that he can sketch your profile better. and you do, but a little too far, so he gets up and moved it himself, his fingers gentle as he moves your chin into position. You pretend you’re not blushing, and Jimin, for once, decides to pretend too and not tease you (though you’re certain if it was Yoongi he would- but you don’t blame him- Yoongi is so fun to rile up).

- The podcast starts with the usual intro and Jimin sketches. Not for the first time- Jimin wishes he’d had Hoseok buy him some colored pencils so that he could get the shade of your eyes right. Like thin clouds on a summer day. Your face isn’t so sever like Hoseok’s, but there is something quietly beautiful about the slope of your cheeks and the curl of your hair against your chin and shoulder.

- Jimin makes a line and then instantly erases it- wrong wrong wrong- for the adorable curve of your nose that Jimin wants to immortalize because it’s just that- adorable- so adorable he could almost kiss it. Though he’s certainly not the only one in his house that wishes it.

- The first podcast ends and the second one startup. Jimin’s foot brushes yours where it’s propped up as Jimin dots his pencil in the spots that you have beauty marks. “Y/n I’m all Fin- oh Jimin! That looks gorgeous!” Jimin has never blushed or moved faster in his whole life. Closing his book with a sharp thump and hugging it to his chest and turning away from Jin in the doorway. Cheeks absolutely flaming, he stands so quick that he almost knocks over the chair he was sitting in.

- “u-uhm thank you Jin- I should-”Luckily at that moment, Yoongi pops up behind Jin, his hair all wet and a little spikey. The smile he gives Jimin is so wide and gummy that Seokjin runs his fingers through his hair at the nape, not that Yoongi pays him any mind in the wake of seeing park Jimin in the morning- he’s nearly as starry-eyed as Jungkook is when he looks at Namjoon. “Hey Minnie! Ready for that movie?” he asks.

- At that same moment that Jungkook and Tae call Namjoon’s name from over the garden fence, Then appear after a moment. Jungkook stumbling half-asleep into Taehyung shoulder. with his sunhat in one hand, Tae smiles down at him, hugging Jungkook to his side to keep him up straight, his puffy cheeks proudly on display.

- Yoongi and Jimin disappear inside of your house while Seokjin still stands behind you, Namjoon replaces them in the doorway, stopping to press a kiss to Seokjin’s lips and then to yours. Namjoon gives you both a dimply smile, wordless fondness in his eyes and joins the Youngers in the garden, not before the other two have both hugged you in greeting of course.

- Jungkook stumbles when he hugs you, putting his full weight you’re your arms, murmuring “slept so weird last night- still feel half asleep,” making you giggle, his tail twitching a little then falling flaccid as he starts to list in your arms making you giggle when Seokjin steps in to keep both of you upright.

- “Why don’t you dose in the sun then bunny” Seokjin says, concerned because Jungkook nearly just fell asleep on his feet and he definitely shouldn’t be handling a pair of clippers today. The older skims his fingers across Jungkook’s built shoulders, Jungkook leans into the touch, happy to be doted on.

- “I’m sure I could find you a blanket” Seokjin plies as Taehyung scent marks along your neck, and gives a wide purr in hello, Both of you oblivious to the way that Jungkook’s heart jumps at the affection of his hyung. He blushes and looks up, remembering the other day when they all piled happy onto a blanket and Seokjin’s chest had been pressed to his back, Namjoon to his front, and Jungkook had felt snuggled down and closed up in the best way. “oh” Jungkook plays with his fingers, “please hyung.”

- The blanket is sent for and retrieved. Hoseok is at work- he’d already sent you a voice message- telling you that the others might be over a little late- they’d all stayed up watching some movie marathon last night- Jungkook was intent on showing Taehyung and Jimin the entire collection of Avengers movies- despite the fact that neither of them are as into the movies as the youngest is.

- And you find that the early morning coolness has faded by the time Seokjin has returned to hand over a thick knit blanket to Jungkook, which he fluffs out on the grass, and promptly curls up on. the straw hat over his eyes to give him some darkness (not to mind that he’ll wake up in about 50 minutes feeling too hot and listless and in need of cooling off- for now he’s glad for he leisurely heat)

- Tae is content to help Namjoon and talk to him about planting, and what new things he’s planning on getting from the garden centre in the next few weeks once the summer starts in full swing and the last cold day has passed. Somehow you end up listening to a podcast in the kitchen, moving around Seokjin while you fold some laundry and he washes some dishes and chats to you about the collab. you help him with some wording on a contract that he wants to set up, and before you know it it’s well into the afternoon.

- Hoseok is going to be back from work sooner than later, it’s an early day, and it’s become enough of a habit for him to come hang around after work with his hybrids at your place, that Seokjin finds you fussing with a brush and your hair, and instantly takes it from you- as he always does, tugging it through your hair.

- The sound of Jimin’s giggles (and a movie that he and Yoongi are definitely not watching) in your living room filtering through along with the shrieks of Taehyung and Jungkook in the garden. And the unmistakable sound of the hose hitting the side of the wall- it is a pretty warm day outside. You’re not surprised that they got out the hose.

- “My skin is so dry from the change of seasons I really need to go get some facemasks” you whine patting at your face (and the many dry spots) sat at the kitchen table. Jin’s feet propped up on your lap.

- Yoongi steps into the kitchen depositing the now empty bowl of popcorn into the sink before he leans over the table to tilt your face this way and that. “Yeah you do” he scoffs, mirthful. His hands cupping your cheeks tenderly and squishing them in a little, you pout making it more comical and Yoongi grins, “Don’t tease- you won’t like it when I’m looking like the loch ness monster in a few weeks.”

- “Did someone say face masks?” Jimin says, hovering by the bottom of the stairs, his ears perked up. Making both Seokjin and Yoongi look up at him. His eyes are wide cheeks pink.

- “Yeah my skin is so dry” you whine, tilting your head into Yoongi’s side. Jimin comes to rub along him too. And Seokjin finds himself besotted by how snuggled down and protective Yoongi looks, with each of you under each arm, he catches Seokjin’s look, his eyes glassy and thankful. the resounding purr vibrates against your cheek.

- “I love facemasks,” Jimin says, voice vibrating around a purr in answer to Yoongi's, launching into a discussion of the various kinds and- “oh my god the ones from nature republic are like so much better than the etude house ones and the skin food ones are okay but don’t get the chemical peel ones.”

- Taehyung and Jungkook stumble through the door, yelping when Seokjin immediately pulls them under each arm, Jungkook crumbling instantly when the elder starts scent marking him.

- Taehyung relaxes a little uneasily- still tense and tired from what? Seokjin doesn't know. Eventually listing his weight into Seokjin’s shoulder, pliant and a little uneasy as Seokjin's hand slides down his back to his waist Seokjin nuzzles at his neck in hello.

- “Needy” Jungkook says, a little bratty, smiling something small and delicate. “Oh shush” Seokjin says, words strangled by the whine in his throat. “Like you don’t get twice as bad on the daily. Like you weren’t worse earlier”

- “Oh,” Taehyung catches the scene behind them, you and Jimin snuggled down by Yoongi, talking about going on a shopping trip sometime soon. “Yeah- they’re cute, now snuggle me because I am also cute” Seokjin whines. Taehyung and Jungkook are only too quick to oblige him.

- It’s only then that Seokjin realizes that Taehyung is actually complexly covered in mud, even some of it on his shirt and not on his pants, but mostly dry, when some of it cracks and falls onto the floor. Jungkook is a little less muddy.

- “Jesus Christ Taehyung. You need a fucking shower,” Taehyung extricates himself from the indignant Seokjin, who turns to continue chopping the salad that he’d started to work on, for an early dinner, the heavy ceramic blue bowl half full of shaved carrot and tomatoes.

- “Take off your shirt too! I don’t want your tracking mud around the house.” he says as Namjoon comes inside to see where his two helpers have gone, as Jimin and Yoongi recede back into the living room. There is already the understanding that Taehyung will help Seokjin cook dinner for all of them when he gets out like usual, Jungkook is leaning in the doorway of your bedroom- talking to you or Namjoon- who probably slipped in there to get something.

- Taehyung smiles at Seokjin as he starts to move to the now unoccupied dinner table. “Okay hyung” he says, and starts stripping. Seokjin tries not to be flustered at the immediate drop of Taehyung’s pants revealing his impossibly small boxers, stuttering out a few words before Taehyung smiles up at him, something about his heavy stare learned from Jimin and his endless flirting- but less self aware.

- “Don’t worry hyung I’ll keep my boxers on” he laughs as Seokjin splutters and rolls his eyes, and goes back to cutting tomatoes as his face also resembles a tomato. dear lord this boy would be the death of him. Next door, Seokjin can hear the car door slam, Hoseok must have just gotten home from work.

- Taehyung turns to walk to the shower upstairs- not to the one in your bedroom, and and Seokjin drops the bowl.

- It shatters against the tile floor loudly, lettuce and glass glaze mixing, sending shards this way and that and tomatoes rolling. But Seokjin almost misses it- especially when it narrowly misses his feet.

- Standing in the middle of a cacophony of shards is the least of his issues right now because Taehyung- Taehyung’s back- Seokjin feels like he can’t breathe.

- Taehyung’s back is… for lack of a better word… mutilated.

- There are probably 4 or 5 vertical stripes of scar tissue crises crossing across his back. Old and healed a light pink, but gruesome nonetheless- erupting the tan skin of his back and puckering the line of a shoulder inward, curving along the edge of a shoulder blade. Even as he turns startled and rushes over. More worried about Seokjin’s feet then at whatever had been done to him.

- Even as Taehyung stoops to pick up the back and starts picking up the careful, Seokjin can see them cresting over the tops of his shoulders. As bad as Namjoon’s or maybe a little worse, Seokjin is not one to weigh one pain against the other.

- Hoseok chooses that moment to appear at your back stoop- looking a little tired from work and a little warn, his black button-down rumpled and pushed up at the elbows, his tie missing. He makes eye contact with Seokjin “are you okay? I thought I heard a crash.”

- You and Namjoon come rushing to see about the crash, Seokjin flinches when the door opens, and slams into it’s casing, tail jumping. “What’s wrong? Oh Hobie! I didn’t realize you got back” you ask, as Hoseok makes a noise in the back of his throat and starts helping Tae pick up the shards, taking one look at Tae, then Seokjin and understanding.

- Hoseok waves Tae back, since Hoseok is the only one with shoes. Dumping the remnants into the wastebasket. As Yoongi gets the broom from the closet appeared to question after the sound as well. If Taehyung is intimidated or uncomfortable with everyone being able to see his back he doesn't show it. he holds Seokjin's stare, the same tiredness from earlier returning to his eyes.

- “What- what happened to you?” Seokjin lets out the words a near hiss. Taehyung looks up at Seokjin under his fringe, but doesn’t answer. The words are directed at Hoseok anyway, A little accusatory. But Hoseok’s eyes get this far away look in them, his jaw tensing he shakes his head at Seokjin.

- Seokjin knows that Hoseok couldn’t have done this- Taehyung’s only lived with Hoseok for a few months and these marks are years old at least- and some even look older than others- which means this was more than one event- and Seokjin’s thoughts are rushing over each other angry like a river building into a tidal wave of anger, a growl bubbling with is throat.

- Taehyung wraps his arms around Seokjin’s mid-drifts, and folds his shoulders thighs and small, lets Seokjin’s hand lace through his cinnamon hair and hold him close. Hoseok leans back against your kitchen table half of the bowl in his hands, watching Seokjin and Taehyung with half-lidded eyes. Sighing and holding Seokjin’s gaze.

- By your side, Namjoon’s eyes are dark, your hand twined with his but his arms are still stiff. Yoongi’s hands brush down his arms in passing to the wastebasket, soothing away the memories there. No one but Seokjin catches it.

- But Seokjin still feels- angry, angry that soft, gentle and quiet Taehyung would have been subject to this kind of hurt, that people still treat hybrids like this in this day and age. Seokjin’s hands are shaking, even as he smooths down Tae’s back and skimming over the marks lightly. Anger licking up the walls of his chest. He can tell his scent must be making the other hybrids in the room agitated by how Tae’s tail hangs and Yoongi’s puffs up like he can’t control it.

- “They use to use whip on the elephants. And on us when we misbehaved-“ Seokjin blanches. Thinking about that- about how deep the marks look. “I tried to run away once- the ringmaster didn’t like that.” Is the only explanation he gives.

- “t-there's scar cream in my room” Seokjin definitely does not say that it’s for Namjoon- he’s not sure that any of them have seen him without the sleeves on. Though it’s summer soon, so they’ll probably find out sooner or later.

- “Do you want to take a bath and I can put some on your back?” Seokjin has to swallow through the thickness- through shining eyes, he turns to Hoseok. “If that’s okay.” Hoseok nods, “we’ll finish dinner” he says the same moment Yoongi says “I’ll re-make the salad.”

- Taehyung looks a little put-upon and little unsure, but Hoseok’s nod is enough to reassure him that he can accept Seokjin’s affection. Tae eyes are wide and a little glassy as he looks up at the elder. He looks so so small and so unsure and Seokjin wants to wrap him in a million blankets and put Taehyung where no one can ever hurt his delicate mushy cookie soul again.

- You stand just inside the door of your bathroom, setting down two plush towels on the double sink counter, as Seokjin starts the tap. “I’ll get Namjoon and Jungkook to help cook too You guys take your time.” you say. Seokjin can already tell that you’re going to ask Hobi exactly what went on when he leaves- because as sharp as you are you’ve probably put two and two together but you still like to ask and know for sure.

- The warm air starts to turn Tae’s cheeks pink. “hyung” he says, eyes lidded, “hyung this is so nice,” “hush,” Seokjin says, hand fluttering across Taehyung's hip. The bath is hazy and warm and Seokjin leaves for a few minutes taking Taehyung’s clothes and putting them in the washing machine.

- Jungkook brings by a fresh pair of clothes for Tae from his house without much preamble. Taehyung and Seokjin come out of your room all snuggly and clean from the bath (that Seokjin may have put a vanilla scented bath bomb in for good measure).

- Namjoon and Yoongi are prepared to smother Tae and lav him with all of the attention they can after he gets out, Yoongi grooming him and Namjoon lining himself snugly along Tae’s back. But Tae doesn’t look scared, or hurt, or any version of upset, only all happy and soft, the purring quickly sounds up. Yoongi returns it as does Namjoon with a contented rumble.

- It’s strange for Seokjin to have nothing to do in his own kitchen, but you and Hoseok move around each other like you’ve cooked together before, even though Seokjin knows you haven't. laughing and bumping each other with your hips by accident and then on purpose. You almost send Hoseok flying and Jimin laughs and throws himself on your shoulder, and hugging you sideways.

- And Seokjin just Sits for a bit, as you get dinner ready, watching his dance of the new and the old, and feels like the luckiest hybrid in the whole city, maybe the whole world.

- (the old- Yoongi nosing into the back of your hair Namjoon smiling at you and running out to his grab a little rosemary. And you, oh, endlessly you. Your hair that’s come undone a little bit, the way you carefully run the tips of your fingers along the edge of a cutting board, around a tomato, things you never used to do until Seokjin came and built himself into your heart like a trellis or like a fine tree, every small leaf a different moment of sweet loving,

- It seems silly that you never used to cook- all those years ago, Seokjin and you in your kitchen that had felt so so big back then with just the two of you in it, and now seems too small with the eight of you.

- Who would have known that one day it would be full like this. Full of Hoseok’s little side to side movements arguing with Yoongi about what to play out of the portable speaker that you’d gotten him for his birthday, “come on hyung you can’t even dance to this song at least give me something I can shake my booty too”

- “What booty?” Jimin teases, raising an eyebrow as he blatantly stares at Hoseok’s behind, and makes Namjoon and Jungkook erupt into giggles, and Yoongi send this little half smirk half toothy grin over his shoulder at Jimin.

- He remembers you saying back then that you weren’t much of a cook and oh, if that you could see you now- Seokjin thinks they’d be very very impressed)

- (And the many new things- Jimin’s tail getting all fuzzy when he smells the rosemary and makes him aggressively rub at his nose, and Hoseok’s wide laugh at Jimin’s bushy tail, his mouth making a heart shape as Hoseok smiles as Jimin complains it makes his nose feel all prickly.

- Making Taehyung and Jungkook smell it only to have the same reaction. Jungkook’s bunny ears tied behind his head with a bright green scrunchie so they don’t fall in his face. His nose twitching with the smell as he recoils and sneezes, making Hoseok coo at him. Carrying 2 chairs at a time and grinning at Namjoon’s protest “I’m a strong bunny hyung” showcasing those adorable teeth.

- Seokjin sits Until Jungkook and Namjoon enlist his help in getting the tables set up outside. Since you definitely don’t have enough room to fit everyone on the kitchen table or the patio table- they need to be combined to fit all 8 of you.

- And there is something comedic about the amount of food on the table (let's be honest- half of it came from pre-prepared packages that where Hoseok’s staple) because how could they eat so much but Seokjin knows there will barely be any leftovers.

- Seokjin sits between you and Taehyung and holds your hand the entire time. While Jimin and Yoongi cuddle up on either side of the table. And you and Hoseok sit close, your legs brushing as you ask him about work and he tells you about the printer that exploded on the third floor today.

- The aftermath, Hoseok washing the dishes, and you sitting on the counter next to them while Jimin dashes around making a game of putting them away with Taehyung. Hoseok’s soapy hand on your knee whenever you say something he loves (ie. Every sentence) his hand brushing yours when he passes you a plate and lingering when he does so.

- Every second more domestic than the last, their lives twining with yours weaving their way like vines or maybe like threads in a tapestry- so close and snug that it seems like it would be impossible to untangle them now.

- Eventually Jimin brings up the idea about the face masks again, and You promise you’ll take him the next free day you have. You, Seokjin, Namjoon, and Jimin go on a trip downtown later that week to the shopping district where skincare shops line both sides of the streets and Jimin can spend forever debating each of them with you and he buys a fair amount with his own money and you buy more than a few too.

- Jimin buys a lot for Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook to try too because they’re in his words “crusty ass bitches that don’t know a thing about skin care” to which Namjoon flicks his cheek and says “stop talking like you’re an American high school student” which makes Jimin whine and say “really it’s your fault for making me watch mean girls and translating for me hyung- how did you even learn English so quick-”.

- Namjoon trails along behind plopping the ones that smell like foods into your basket when he thinks you aren’t looking. He’s always been fond of the ones that smell like honey.

- You end up having a skin care facemask night with everyone (Taehyung too- though he shrivels his nose at the chemical smell of the masks and says that his skin is fine thank you very much).

- Hoseok’s careful fingers pressing down the edges of your mask against your neck where he sits next to you on the couch, His Hand slick with the serum, giggling as you cry “oh it’s so wet- it’s gonna slide off- help- Hobi help” Yoongi throws popcorn into Taehyung and Jungkook mouths, missing as often as he gets it in. Jungkook jumping up quickly to catch one that went far too high, powerful thighs straining against his pants.

- the mask on your face almost does slide off much to the delight of both Hoseok and Jimin, who giggle on either side of you while Seokjin ties up your hair better to keep it out of the way and then moves to pull Jungkook into his lap on the floor.

- Next to you Jimin fidgets closer, unable to find a spot that’s comfortable. Yoongi too can’t seem to keep his eyes off of the other hybrid (though that’s nothing new- it is particularly bad that day he straight up throws popcorn into Namjoon’s hair making him whine about getting the literal butter in his hair.)

- “oh my god I remember why we don’t do this.” You laugh. As Jimin tucks a lock behind your ear. Lifting his hand to his face. “Oh this smells good!” he licks his fingers. “And tastes good too!”

- Seokjin snorts. rolling his eyes “Only you would think that tastes good.” Having recently discovered Jimin’s favorite habit of dunking French fries in milkshakes last week at a drive-in diner that Hoseok had taken both of them too late night (‘sue me it tastes good hyung you just have to try it’ ‘Jimin my taste buds are delicate and sensitive and I am not sullying them with that concoction’

- ‘Would you do it for a kiss?’ Seokjin spluttering, as Jimin leans forward and presses his strawberry and salt flavored lips to Jin’s and oh- he’s not sure if it’s the cat hybrid that tastes so good or if it’s the combination but he lick’s it out of his mouth regardless)

- Jimin licks the stuff that’s on his fingers. As Hoseok checks the package, “It is all natural and edible- so I don’t think you’re going to poison yourself.” he finishes what’s on his hand and licks at the edge on the mask and what’s on your skin, licking up the Coolum of your neck, laving wide flat strokes of his tongue.

- You squeak at the sudden affection- though you’ve seen the hybrids mock groom each other to know that this is kind of what this, Yoongi’s done it to you enough times, though the resounding purrs and rough tongue laving at your throat give you little cause to push Jimin away, he sounds happy.

- You straighten one moment going rip rod straight, before your body turns to Jelly under Jimin’s mouth, and his lips that occasionally drag against your skin and leave with a smacking sound- you hadn’t realized how plush and puffy they where. There is no mercy under Jimin’s mouth, your own lips parted, breath escaping you like you’d just run up a flight of stairs as he licks harder.

- He licks up to the corner of your jaw and then down again switching to the other side, nosing along the place where you know your scent gland is (or at least wherever it exists on hybrids)

- You knew humans had some sort of natural accumulation of it on their necks, Seokjin and Namjoon have taken in a deep breath at the corner of your neck time enough. Jimin noses along that line, purr increasing with volume before he bites down.

- It’s half gentle, and with nowhere near enough force to actually hurt only ache, and it still makes you let out A small noise- half whimper and half surprised squeak. Every hybrid turns, Taehyung drops a facemask rapper when he sees what’s happening on the couch.

- Jimin half in your lap caging you in, and your absolutely wrecked expression, neck shining, and Jimin looking equally as flustered, with Hoseok’s hand in the back of his hair, forcefully pulling his head away from your neck.

- An instinct, some rudimentary part of Hoseok that felt possessive- Jesus Christ- Jimin was his own hybrid and he was worried about you because-because- “Jimin you need to ask consent before you bite someone.”

- Seokjin barks a laugh, and below him between his legs, Jungkook smiles, the sentence is a funny sentence, and of course Seokjin would think its funny.

- “Sorry hyung” he murmurs, Jimin’s eyes are cracked and as hazy as yours are looking at you with a hot gaze, Hoseok gulps- Jimin looks like he wants to eat you “sorry Y/n-ah” instead of releasing Jimin’s hair outright. Hoseok loosens his grip running his hand down Jimin’s neck and onto his back in a long stroke trying to calm him down.

- Jimin chirps and wiggles. Carefully moving from your lap to Hoseok’s. No matter the fact that he’d started on your opposite side (and eventually settles in between you two for the duration of the movie).

- Seokjin leans over from the other chair and flicks Jimin’s forehead. “Bratt” Jimin’s pout Is lethal. “I said I was sorry.” No one wants to say-” but neither of you look it” but they let it slide. Yoongi setting up the computer, next to him, you put your hand on Hoseok’s arm the contact startles him, his hand grabbing at yours before it lets it go. “It’s okay really.” Is the faint blush there because you’re embarrassed? Or is it there for an entirely other reason?

- They spend the entire movie night like that. Jimin sat sideways across Hoseok’s lap, hugging one of his arms close to his chest his nose in Hoseok’s necks. Your and Hoseok’s hands sitting an inch away While Seokjin and Jungkook relocate to your other side, taking Jimin’s spot.

- When they get home that night, closing the back door and filing into the kitchen, Jungkook immediately going to get carrot juice from the fridge. Hoseok sighs and turns to Jimin, Jimin folds himself into his owner’s arms, rubbing his face into Hoseok’s soft sweatshirt and hugging one of his arms. All in all- it’s not as needy as Jimin gets sometimes- but it’s still- this level of affection is a tiny bit out of character.

- “Jiminie- you sure you’re okay? First the thing with Y/n and then you snuggled me like the whole time babe” Jimin’s forehead is warm against Hoseok’s exposed throat. And when the hybrid pulls back his cheeks are flushed pink. Had he been like this the whole night? Had Hoseok not noticed under the dim light in your living room? Was Jimin getting sick? Hoseok inwardly curses at himself- what kind of owner was he letting his hybrid gets sick and not doing anything about it.

- “Just feel like- super supper needy today.” Jimin supplies, his words slurry, and half asleep- but it is nearing midnight, thank god Hoseok doesn’t have to work tomorrow. “Okay if you say so-“ Hoseok starts to take a step away, to get a glass of water and go up to bed- but the yowl Jimin lets out is so pitiful that Hoseok and his other hybrids freeze and turn to a suddenly very tearful Jimin. Hoseok practically throws the glass on the table and envelops his hybrid in his arms. Shocked at the sudden onset of actual real tears rolling down Jimin’s cheeks.

- “Minnie-baby what’s wrong?” Hoseok is at a loss “I j-just- I saw you walking away and it made me so upset- I’m being so irrational- and” suddenly, Taehyung steps behind Jimin, tilting the others neck all the way to the side, and giving a hard sniff. “You’re in heat- or about to be” the hybrid says, voice deep and assured. No way around it.

- “Oh Jiminie-“ Taehyung folds himself harshly along the back line of Jimin so that he’s caged in between Hoseok’s chest. And Jimin instantly looks more aware of his surroundings but no less apprehensive, looking up at Hoseok imploringly bottom lip quivering.

- It’s not like Hoseok had been completely unaware that this could happen, he knew that prior to and during Jimin’s time at the adoption facility that he’d been mandated to be on suppressors, after he’d started to be healthy enough to have actual heats, Jimin had wanted to go off of them almost immediately when he’d been adopted by Hoseok (as they’d made him vomit most mornings, and made him grumpy and irritable the other half of the time.)

- Honestly Hoseok hadn’t seen the point in keeping Jimin on them- it’s not like birth control is exactly necessary when you can’t get pregnant. And Hoseok had agreed to let Jimin stop taking the pills instantly (it shouldn’t really have been Hoseok’s decision in the first place- it was up to Jimin what he wanted to do with his body)

- Hoseok remembers saying that and the way that Jimin had looked up at Hoseok, Awestruck and thankful, and later confessed that it was when Jimin realized that Hoseok was going to treat him like an actual human being.

- And then the doctors visit to discuss a few weeks of lower dosage pills to ease Jimin off of being on suppressants for the better part of his life. What to expect from the first few heats that he’d have- a little more intense, and probably only a few times a year.

- Hoseok had stuttered and blushed when the doctor had straight up insinuated that Hoseok would help Jimin through them, but then again- that was in the first week knowing Jimin and it had felt strange to agree to that. And now…Hoseok can’t imagine letting Jimin go through it alone.

- and it’s not like Jimin hasn’t pulled Hoseok into bed before either, like they haven't been intimate, though that part of their relationship is new, Taehyung and Jungkook have too.

- Jimin’s hands are fisted in the front of Hoseok’s shirt, his knuckles brushing against the skin of Hoseok’s chest. Jimin squeaks then crumples further into Hoseok almost needing to be held up with how his legs are starting to shake.

- He doesn’t even want to ask what Taehyung’s large hands are doing, or what’s making the tiger hybrid look like that, languid and predatory, the smile quirking his lips as Jimin huffs a sigh into Hoseok’s neck. “you smell so good Minnie” Taehyung purrs. “It’s okay Minnie we’ve got you-you're gonna be okay” Jungkook sidles over, leaning to nibble on Jimin’s ear, making the hybrid collapse further his knees all jelly and no muscle.

- His body feels small and hot against Hoseok’s, and when Taehyung’s arm flexes he can feel Jimin’s hips jump against him. “Poor Jimin” Jungkook says, hands smoothing over the elders shoulder. “Let us take care of you.”

- It’s totally totally weird that Hoseok hasn’t come over by midday the following Saturday, you mill about in the kitchen after waffles, wondering where they could be. Jin puts the extra waffle mix away scolding himself for feeling forlorn. it’s not like he’d invited them over, but he’d gotten so used to the other hybrids from the house next door turning up that he’d started to make extra of every meal as a precaution.

- Yoongi himself is the most agitated out of the bunch, pacing in front of the door and then extending his track to the living room not stopping no matter how much Seokjin tells them to quit it. Namjoon too, is a little flustered, his ears standing to attention.

- Something strange and heady scent tickling at his nose, just not close enough to really figure out what it was sets him on edge. The wolf hybrid is Seokjin’s shadow, not letting him get more than a few feet away before he starts whining. “What’s gotten into you Joon” Seokjin asks, when he gets up suddenly and is immediately pulled back to Namjoon’s side. Namjoon flushes, and lets Seokjin get up for real this time, murmuring out a “sorry.”

- You try your best to go about your day as you normally would as does everyone else baring Yoongi. You check your phone and find your voice message unanswered. It’s not until just before lunchtime that a very ruffled looking Jungkook comes knocking at your back door.

- “Hey Jungkoo-” Seokjin says as he opens the door- voice dying in his throat when the scent on Jungkook hits him with full force, Seokjin is only dimly aware of Yoongi full on tripping and Namjoon sitting straight up and growling. Jungkook blushes, somehow, abashed. Namjoon can’t stop staring at the ring of hickeys and full on bite marks that encircle Jungkook’s neck like a collar, the dark two circles from canines on his neck nestled in the semi-circles.

- Jungkook’s bunny tail twitches. “Hey hyung- I-I’m not here to hang out- just, Hoseok though I should tell you, Jimin went into heat last night so you might not see us for a few days. Hoseok wanted to come over but he was uhm- too occupied.”

- Jungkook’s cheeks are absolutely flaming by the time he finishes the sentence and Seokjin blushes too, Yoongi’s tail is bushy and full as Jungkook quickly leaves again, Yoongi makes to follow almost instantly blocked by Seokjin.

- “No.” Seokjin says, and Yoongi’s spine shivers, “you gotta- heats are something you gotta ask about Yoongi- you can't” and logically Yoongi knows- knows that he can’t go over hand help Jimin through it the thought of sultry Jiminie, and the smell that clung to Jungkook, two parts liquid temptation and one part peaches and creamy Jimin softness.

- Just thinking about smelling that from the source and not just Jungkook who was drenched has Yoongi thinking with his instincts and not with his head, that's the only real reason why he got up to follow, his alphas voice cut through that tension like a knife and suddenly Yoongi’s focus is razor sharp.

- he looks up at Seokjin already looking strung out, “please” Yoongi’s fists on Seokjin’s forearms around you his chest heaving, reaching to pull you close too as Namjoon runs a hand down his back. “Please- I need- I need all of you.” his pupils are wide and glassy. Leaning his head over to nestle in your neck, trying to drown Jimin’s scent out with yours, and groans shifting listlessly.

- Hand gripping your waist and sliding down to your ass, his favorite part of you, groaning into your mouth when he squeezing and feels it’s weight, prompting as Yoongi lifts you up and puts you on the table. He starts to kiss along your jaw, the same place Jimin kissed yesterday, biting down like he would have, but a little harder. Yoongi trembles. Thoughts of the other cat aren’t completely out of his head until Seokjin tugs his tail and Namjoon nibbles on his ear, all the while you start stuttering out heavy breaths and slide your palms down Yoongi’s chest and he sucks hickey after hickey onto your throat.

- “There now” Seokjin growls, Yoongi’s heady scent mixing with the leftover remnants of Jungkook’s visit. As intoxicating as it is dangerous for Seokjin’s self control. “let us get your mind off this kitten.”

- “Mmmnot a kitten” Yoongi mumbles,”Seokjin laughs diminutively, the shame and arousal in equal parts licks hot down Yoongi’s spine, “right now you are.”

- Saturday is a mess of clothes on the floor, sighed names pressed against skin, and marks sucked, claiming, mine mine mine. Jimin is chanting that when Jungkook finally stumbles back into the bedroom. Both him and Hoseok a mess of sweat, saliva, and other bodily fluids. Taehyung is passed out on the bed, bite marks littering his neck as well and his hips, But Hoseok does a good enough job of holding Jimin through an orgasm. Teeth gritting as his hips cante upward.

- Jimin’s eyes are almost black, his cheeks red and his blonde hair curling against his forehead. Though Jimin’s only just come, he whines and holds out his arms for Jungkook- the only one of them who truly has enough stamina to compete with Jimin’s heats.

- “Smell like alpha” he murmurs into Jungkook’s neck biting over a mark he made, as Hoseok pulls out and falls back onto his heels, “Want alpha and Yoongi- want them all- please Kookie- please-”

- And then your house, clothes on the floor and the blankets from your bed too. Seokjin’s legs languidly spread and bare, length brushing his navel, leaning back to watch and bark orders, As Namjoon whispers straight filth in Yoongi’s ear, and holds his arms down and to his sides. A strip of fabric tied around his eyes making him blind to the movement of your mouth between his thighs a mystery, sucking hickeys and hollowing out your cheeks around him to make his hips twitch and his chest heave.

- Seokjin makes a tisking sound, standing, to hold Yoongi’s hips down. “not yet- you still have a long while to go” Seokjin warns, Yoongi whines, looking strung out and already half wrecked. He can feel you smirk around him as his orgasm backs off from the threshold of tipping over.

- Seokjin takes a moment to wipe away the drool on Yoongi’s chin. “color?” he asks, always caring, always making sure the members of his pack are okay, even as he gasps around the sudden but slight intrusion of Namjoon’s fingers, and you continue mouthing along Yoongi’s length, not sucking, just teasing.

- “Green green green” he chants, tongue licking at his lips obscenely. Even as Seokjin leans forward to kiss him and gives you to go ahead to continue, a soft touch on the back of your head guiding you. It is hours before you let Yoongi cum, doing so with the taste of you on his tongue, spilling into you with a shout as Namjoon moves behind him.

- The four of you don’t actually see Jimin and the others again until Sunday night- the whole weekend gone by and the light hanging hazy in the afternoon when Hoseok finally calls sounding tired and a little bit embarrassed but you’re none the less happy to have him over, a little endeared that he felt the need to check and make sure it was still okay.

- All of them are hickeyed and sated and shy, but they’re too happy to see each other. Jungkook curling up near Namjoon and laughing punch drunk while Taehyung shadows a stumbly Jimin who looks like he hasn’t slept a wink all weekend, making sure he doesn’t trip over the steps or his own tail.

- The first thing Jimin says when he steps onto your back lawn is “need to cuddle, Yoongi and Y/n, now.” It’s pouty and an order, and he points a finger at Namjoon and Seokjin and says that they’re next- prompting giggles because of course cuddles are a threat. Tae cracks a boxy smile and goes to beg sweets off of Seokjin (which always works- because Seokjin’s soft spot is fluffy tiger hybrids who are so hungry that they eat whole boxes of girl scout cookies in one sitting)

- Jimin ends up tugging both you and Yoongi back over to Hoseok’s side onto Hoseok’s hammock, where the redhead doses in the sunlight, an arm over his eyes, his wet hair curling against his forehead after a much-needed shower. He grunts when Jimin chirps in hello, and suddenly sits when Yoongi helps you onto the hammock and Hoseok realizes that oh- you’re going to come on too, the swaying ness startling you a little.

- The hammock isn’t exactly big enough for four people but you make it work by having Jimin sit in between Yoongi’s legs. Jimin holds the other around his midriff his tail flicking this way and that. content to nuzzle into each other.

- The hammock also doesn’t allow for any distance- every time Hoseok tries to inch back and give you space, gravity pulls him right back snug against your side, and eventually he gives up, settling with his side up against yours, he’s too sleepy to roll back to the other side as exhaustion starts to truly settle in.

- Yoongi and Jimin are wrapped close enough in their little world that Hoseok is offered the rare pleasure of being able to look at you without being scrutinized by anyone. He falls asleep looking your hair is a little frizzy against the green fabric, and he murmurs to you half asleep, his eyes fluttering closed.

- Sore in more ways than one, he falls asleep easily, dimly aware of something soft tickling his cheek, and warm breath against his neck as he falls back asleep. He’s unsure when he wakes- or how much time has passed, all he knows is that when he opens his eyes, you’re the only two on the hammock, and his back yard is quiet and shadowed only the top of his roof yellow.

- It’s a little chilly without the sun but you make up for it with your head nestled close to Hoseok’s chest, forehead up against his soft cotton shirt, his arm around you and his other hand resting close to yours, your legs and feet in between his, Hoseok wonders if you can hear his heart pounding through his cotton tee-shirt, wonders if you can feel how he stiffens when he realizes how close you two are.

- In your time knowing each other- you’ve very rarely been totally alone and never for any long amount of time. Hoseok wants to reach out, hold you closer, but doesn’t know if you want him too. You haven’t- neither of you have ever broached knowing where this is headed, and suddenly the weight of that- feels like its going to pierce through the bottom of the hammock and toss both of you away from each other and onto the ground.

- Before Hoseok can do anything- whether it be pull you closer or push you farther away, you turn onto your back, and yawn, eyes fluttering awake, “Yoongi?” you ask, though you can tell by how it’s shifting that there is only one other person on the hammock with you, “they must have gone inside” Hoseok says, his low and sleep roughed. You mumble something and turn back towards him, returning your head to the position it was before.

- Hoseok decides you can definitely hear his heartbeat when you ask, “you okay?” “Yeah it’s just-” and maybe its because Hoseok is half asleep and you are too that he feels like he can say these things. “Do you ever wonder what kind of hybrid you’d be if you were one?”

- You nod against his sternum, “I’d be a cat definitely, you?” you ask, voice lilting and mirthful in a way that makes Hoseok’s chest light, his fingers play along your sides a little, making you shift in ticklishness, moving closer to him and he stops it after a moment.

- “Fox probably- though Tae called me a chipmunk the other day when i put too much popcorn in my mouth” you huff a quiet laugh at that, make a humming noise, eyes close again and lapse back into a comfortable silence. “Do you ever think this would be easier if we were hybrids?”

- “What do you mean?” you ask. Hope curling up at the edge of your mind.

- “I think it would be easier, if we were hybrids and could uhm- smell each other like them, like Jimin and Yoongi, and Jimin and Tae. That night when we came home from your house Tae just like- instantly knew what was wrong with Jimin and now that I’m thinking it, this would just be easier if we were like that too,” he sighs out the last word into your hair.

- Hoseok bites his lip, unsure for a moment before he breathes out, “They never have to guess what the other one is feeling. ”

- His hand pulling you a little more snug against him, you push back and rejection stings him for a moment before your hand finding the bottom of his jaw to skim across it- wow his jaw is a sharp you realize, you can feel the way his jaw tenses and rolls- not unlike the same movement you’ve felt Namjoon make when he’s concentrating,

- Hoseok is- Hoseok is absolutely glowing with this feeling in his chest, all his wanting hazy and unfocused but present as he sighs against your fingertips and feels your warmth around him, the only He thinks of that poem that Namjoon showed Hoseok on his phone last week- paint me in the soft focus fog of your tenderness, pull me from myself,

- You pause for a moment, muddling over Hoseok’s words, waking up a bit and thinking on his words through your haze of dreams, Hoseok is not a dream, he is solid and warm and soft, his arms around you, the embrace new but not foreign. You only start things so many times before you begin to recognize the pattern.

- “You don’t have to guess, I think we both know, and I think we’ve both known where this is headed for a while” you breath out, your breath tickling across Hoseok’s lips, his parting too, the hammock sways under you has Hoseok leans up on his elbow to hover over you a little and stare down.

- The moment is interrupted by the sudden appearance of Jungkook coming over to his side of the fence to get some more lemon thyme out of his garden as Hoseok leans forward, tilting up at the last moment to kiss your forehead a fleeting touch. “Oh you’re awake!” he cries flashing Hoseok that smile as he hops over. Your eyelids fluttering as Hoseok sighs and leans back, his hand still entwined with yours.

- “Dinner's almost ready and Seokjin’s making like- a super large amount of garlic bread Cuz like we all didn’t eat enough this weekend and he showed me how to do it and you gotta tell me if it’s any better than his Cuz we’re having a competition and-“ his foot thumps against the ground in excitement for food and he starts to walk away and then looks back when he realizes that neither of you are following him. “Well what are you waiting for?”

- Hoseok makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat then gets off the hammock, helping you off of it after a moment. Steadying you when you stumble with a hand on your waist.

- Jungkook talks a mile a minute as you file onto your side to find the others already set up for dinner. Jimin sitting to the side looking fidgety, sipping at some lemonade. Taehyung is quick to tell you that he stood up too fast and nearly fell over and has therefore had been banned from dinner preparations by Namjoon and Jin.

- Namjoon actually growls at him when he makes to stand and help carry the food onto the tables. Yoongi wonders out loud if they’ll ever all get used to these family dinners, making Hoseok laugh.

- And if anyone notices your and Hobi’s hands are linked at the Pinky on the way over and under the table throughout the entire dinner, no one says a thing.

(Please comment and reblog! Likes are nice, but they do little to support content creators!)

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fleckcmscott · 5 years ago

Text

Watch What Happens - Chapter 4

Chapter links: 1, 2, 3

Summary: Arthur, an aspiring comedian, has struggled to find normalcy and compassion his entire life. Y/N, a hard-working paralegal and transplant to Gotham, has just been put on a case for the Wayne Foundation. When they meet, unexpected sparks fly.

Chapter warning: Swearing

Words: 2,803

A/N: The joke Arthur comes up with in the third part of this chapter doesn’t completely work with a “Y/N,” because it uses the OFC’s name for alliteration. (The OFC version of this fic is posted on AO3.) Sorry!

It was Saturday. Y/N was supposed to have the day off, but she’d spent her Friday night reading parts of the Wayne file. It had been engrossing. From what she’d gathered, the foundation wanted to convert the rent-controlled housing buildings into a medical clinic. The buildings in question had all but been abandoned, the motions claimed, and were in serious disrepair.

The current owner’s response had been lackluster - a counter-motion stating both the addresses in question were up to code and actively being used. But they had neglected to provide more than a couple leases or rental agreements. She wasn’t surprised. The motions were dating back two years. She could imagine the current owner, a family that had had possession of the buildings since the late 1800s, was running out of funds. Their most recent filings were done without a lawyer.

The addresses were about two miles uptown from her apartment. Seeing at least one of them would give her a chance to determine what the actual situation was. And it gave her a good excuse for a brisk walk. She checked the clock as she finished her coffee: 7:13 AM. Good. She hoped it was early enough to visit one of the buildings and look it over without being noticed. She slipped on a thick coat, grabbed her purse and an umbrella, and headed outside.

Gotham was dreary this morning, an unpredictable drizzle. She still wasn’t use to the city’s typical Eastern rain. At least it wasn’t snowing yet - Patricia had told her winter seemed to come earlier every year. This was the one season she missed being further South. The autumn lasted for weeks back home; she’d still be wearing a light jacket.

She eyed the architecture as she walked. It became less decorative the further she went. Gone were the porticoes and fancy facades of the wealthier parts of the city, replaced by simple brick and concrete. There was a brutality in how quick the change was, as if the builders thought people in cheaper apartments couldn’t enjoy aesthetics. Parks and artwork grew rarer, too, until the area was almost totally devoid of public spaces.

Letting out a breath, she approached one of the apartment complexes. The four story building was uncharacteristically stout for Gotham. A tenement covered in graffiti. Walking around it, she lightly inspected the foundation for faults that would be obvious to her layman’s eyes. There were no cracks, no chunks appeared to be missing.

The front door was ajar, held open with a triangular piece of wood. She gingerly pushed it open, trying not to make any noise, and let herself in. The entrance was in some disrepair. Dark green paint peeled in the corners of the lobby, the laminate floor was coming up in some places. The florescent lights were on, though, and the floor was shining. Whoever lived there cared enough to clean the place.

The stairs were solid when she stepped on them, the railing a bit wobbly but sturdy enough to put her weight on it. As she reached the second floor, she wondered where the Wayne Foundation had gotten the idea that this building was abandoned. She walked down the hall, noticing every name plate and personal touch - a postcard of a sunny place here, a wreath there - on the doors.

“Hey, who are you?”

Y/N stopped and turned to the direction the voice had come from. An elderly woman stood there, newspaper in one hand, pink robe being held closed by the other. She looked displeased.

Fuck. Y/N cursed herself, both for being too bold and being too stupid to think about being seen by a tenant. She gave the woman a friendly smile and approached her. “I’m sorry to have bothered you, ma'am. My name is Y/N. I just wanted to see-”

The woman’s face softened. “Oh, you’re not from Renew Corp.?”

Y/N furrowed her brow in confusion. “Renew Corp.?”

“Yeah. They keep harassing us. You hold on a minute.” The woman disappeared for a moment, closing the door.

Y/N sighed and leaned against the wall. She didn’t want to stumble onto anything crazy; she just needed to gather evidence to support the Wayne Foundation’s position. She wanted to do her job and do it well. Rubbing her face, she could already feel a headache coming on. The first Wayne case she was entrusted with, and she was already finding leads she didn’t want to.

God dammit. She knew she wouldn’t be able to let this go.

As soon as the woman returned, Y/N straightened up. “Here you are,” the woman said, handing her the letter. “They keep sending them in these red envelopes. As if that could scare me. I lived through the war.” She laughed to herself.

Y/N couldn’t help but smile back as she read the addressee’s name. After opening the envelope, she scanned the letter. “Ms. McPhee, may I keep this?”

“Go ahead. I’ll get another one in a few days,” Ms. McPhee answered.

Y/N tucked the letter in her purse. “Thank you.”

Ms. McPhee nodded. “Sorry about earlier. We don’t get many visitors here.” She gestured behind here with her thumb. “Do you want to come in for a cup of tea? I have a cat. You’re not allergic, are you?”

Y/N took a step back, placing a hand over her chest. “I’d love to but I have to get going. Would it be alright if I dropped by sometime? Asked a few more questions?” There was a pause. At Ms. McPhee’s expression, Y/N added, “Bring some tea biscuits along?”

That got her.

~~~~~

On the way back to her apartment, while still in Otisburg, Y/N decided to treat herself to breakfast. A couple of diners lined the streets, but food from a greasy spoon wasn’t what she was looking for. A bakery would work; she could get something light and sweet. A donut shop caught her eye. And her nose. She peeked in through the old, warped windows. Lackluster lighting, just enough film on the glass to make her question the place’s health inspection certificate. She’d found her joint.

The row of people waiting against the wall surprised her when she went inside. After a few moments deliberation, she decided to stay, not having concrete plans for the rest of the day. Copies of the Gotham Gazette were piled high, not yet in their display case. Shuffling along as the line moved forward, she grabbed a paper and started reading the headlines: “Thomas Wayne - Will he or won’t he?;” “A New Day for Gotham;” “New Budget Cuts Risk Safety.” God, news like this made her wish she gave less of a shit. She closed the paper and looked up towards the entrance, the bell above the door ringing endlessly as more people poured in.

And there he stood. Good hair, Tan jacket. He was leaning against the wall, seven people down from her. She noticed he was wearing a brown cardigan and button-up shirt. His hair was a little damp, probably from the weather. It didn’t affect his good looks in the slightest.

She hadn’t expected his eyes to dart to hers so quickly.

Heat rose to her cheeks. Dammit, she scolded herself. You’re staring at him again. Leave the man alone, you idiot. She tried to focus on the menu hanging overhead.

That focus failed utterly when she saw him sidle up beside her in her peripheral vision. He stopped about two feet away. As it had at the store, it took him a few moments to speak. “Hi,” he said.

“Hey,” she replied, eyes still averted. “Fancy seeing you again.”

“Yeah.” He looked up at the menu, too, but she wasn’t convinced he was reading it.

She allowed herself a glance at his profile, long enough to realize it was a mistake if she wanted to stop ogling him. She was close enough to see the hint of laugh lines at the corner of his eye, the rounded tip of his nose, that damned jawline. She swallowed and looked down. His hand was worrying his pocket. The tension with which he held himself was obvious. It was hard to figure out if his hesitancy was peculiar or adorable. She decided it was both. “How was your TV dinner?” she asked.

“Fine. They’re always the same. Yours?” His deep voice was slightly raspy when he answered.

She gave a small shrug. “It didn’t kill me.”

The man chuckled at that and flicked his eyes to her for a moment. “Good.” The line moved forward and he stepped with her. “You should get the-”

“Hey, buddy,” a voice from the back bellowed. “You can’t just cut in line.”

The effect on Good hair, Tan jacket was immediate. He stiffened even further, cheeks turning pink, his jaw clenching. He briefly brought his hand to his mouth and winced. As he spoke, softly but loud enough for the asshole in the back to hear, his eyelids fluttered shut. “I wasn’t cutting. I just wanted to say hello.”

The fact that he responded surprised her. She liked it. When he started to turn towards the end of the line, she stepped closer to him. “What do you want? I’m next in line.” When he didn’t answer, she said, “I’ll grab it. It’s no big deal.”

He blinked at her before digging into his pocket and handing her change. "Cinnamon sugar. I was going to suggest you get it. It’s the best one.”

Smiling, she nodded. “Thanks for the recommendation. It’s my first time here.” She extended her hand to him. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

He looked at her hand before grasping it gently with his. “My name’s Arthur. Arthur Fleck.” The smoothness of his palm was warm on hers, the fingertips of his long fingers resting against the back of her hand. “I’ll wait outside.” With that, he released her and left.

After getting their order, she left the shop to find the morning’s drizzle had turned to a steady rain. Arthur was standing under the shop’s awning, smoking. She thought she’d detected the scent of nicotine. And maybe some cologne. “Here. You got the last cinnamon sugar.” She started to hand him the donut.

He shook his head. “I’ll take the other.”

“I hope you like chocolate.” Y/N gave him the small wax paper bag. “Can you tell me where the nearest subway is? I need to head home.”

“Newkirk Plaza.” His brows knit together and he looked down as he took a long drag off his cigarette. “I could walk you there?”

She noticed he’d said it quickly, as if he didn’t want to lose courage. She took the umbrella from inside her coat and opened it, then stuck her arm out so he’d have room to share it. “Sure. That’d be great.”

“Yeah?” He laughed softly, surprise on his face. “Okay.” Cautiously, but with some eagerness, he stepped under her umbrella. He seemed to hold his breath as they started walking in the direction of the train station.

They strolled in companionable silence. As each block ended and another began, she found herself wishing he would talk. He’d invited her on the walk, after all. Maybe she could bring him out. “Have you in lived in Gotham long?”

He flicked his cigarette on the ground and let out a small huff. “All my life.”

“You’re a real Gothamite, then. I’m a transplant. Moved here about a year and half ago.”

“Oh yeah? Where from?”

“Boonville, Missouri.” Waving her hand dismissively, she continued. “Trust me. You’ve never heard of it.”

He looked at her, studying her face for a moment. “You don’t have an accent,” he said.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “That’s intentional.” She adjusted the umbrella in her hand. “I made sure to lose it as a kid. When I eventually moved away, I didn’t want to be out of place. It’s nice to be anonymous.”

Arthur took out another smoke and placed it between his lips. “But why come here? It’s so cold. People are mean. The garbage strikes…” He lit his cigarette. “It’s rough.”

“Believe me. Small towns have their own problems. They’re just not as visible. And everyone knows each other. God, it’s disgusting.” She laughed, then. “No, I really love it here. Best decision I’ve ever made.”

He shook his head, the corner of his mouth rising. “Hm.”

When the sign for Newkirk Plaza was in view, his steps slowed. Y/N noticed. He must have enjoyed walking with her. She liked it, too, which felt odd, since he was a stranger. Odd but good.

Arthur stopped as they reached the entrance to the station. He looked away from her and down the stairwell, as if what bit of confidence he had was ebbing. “If you go down these stairs, you can pick which line you want.”

Y/N nodded and smiled. “Thanks for the stroll, Arthur.”

“Yeah.” After a few beats of silence, he gazed back up at her. “You know, I do stand-up comedy?”

She looked at him in disbelief. This guy? This bashful guy got up on stage in front of people? “Really?”

“Maybe you could come see a show sometime,” he said.

She studied him for a few moments. The slight puffiness under his eyes, the tiredness in his face. The way he stood there, waiting for her reply with cautious hope, gave him an air of quiet fragility. Even though she was intrigued by him, she wasn’t ready to give her personal information out. Not yet. She wracked her brain, trying to think of a kind but honest answer. “Well, my job is going to be bringing me to this area again soon. When we see each other, you can tell me when and where, okay?”

He smiled slightly at the non-committal response. “All right.”

Y/N tried to hand him the umbrella. “I suspect you have a ways to walk.”

He put his hand up, then pulled the hood on his jacket over his head. “It’s okay, I just live over on Anderson.”

“Oh, okay.” She cleared her throat. “Well, I’ve gotta go. See you around, Arthur." She started down the stairs, then turned to him again, blushing lightly as she met his eyes. “Thanks for the donut, too.”

~~~~~

Arthur felt like he could take on the world (or at least Gotham City). The nice woman from the store had somehow wound up in his nearby donut shop. He’d said hello. They’d gone for a walk. Shared an umbrella. Had a conversation. He hadn’t fucked up.

When at the train station, he’d been tempted to follow her, not wanting to lose the connection they’d had. But he’d trailed his neighbor, Sophie, to work one time in a pathetic attempt to ask her out. He hadn’t worked up the nerve to do it by the time they’d reached Sophie’s place of employment, so he’d turned around. That evening, she had knocked on his door and explained, with more kindness than he deserved, that he’d alarmed her and following her was inappropriate. Even though he had been embarrassed, he appreciated her taking the time to spell it out for him.

He was determined not to do something that stupid with Y/N.

Sophie. Y/N. What was it with woman with (Y first initial) names? They’re both saucy and sweet. Laughing lightly, he exited the elevator and headed towards his apartment.

“Mom, I’m back.” After hanging his jacket, he put the donut on a small plate and cut it into bite-sized pieces. That would make it easier for Penny to eat. He poured her a cup of coffee and headed into the living room.

His mother was asleep in the easy chair. “Good Morning Gotham” was playing on the TV. Arthur approached her gently and shook her shoulder. Her eyes slowly opened. It took a few seconds for her to focus on him. “Oh, Happy, did you check the mail?”

“It’s too early. The mail hasn’t come yet.” He put the plate in her hands. “Here. Eat this. I’m going to do laundry. I’ll be in the basement.”

She kept her eyes on the television when she gave her delayed answer. “Okay, Happy.”

Arthur stepped by her, basket in hand. On the way out, he grabbed his pen and journal. Once the laundry was on, he sat in a chair across from the machine and opened the worn notebook across his lap.

He thought of Y/N for a while, then his upcoming job at the children’s hospital on Wednesday. He’d been practicing his magic tricks, but would end with a dance. He loved working there. The kids were always so happy to meet Carnival the Clown. Maybe the upcoming week would be decent. A little kinder than most.

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve @clowndaddyfleck @stephieraptorr

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x female reader #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck x ofc #joker 2019 #watchwhathappens

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dragonleesupporter · 5 years ago

Note

Number 10, with Logicality, I don’t mind who’s the lee/ler. Thanks!

Woo! I’m glad someone picked 10! Alright, let’s go.

...

Roman heard a knocking at his door, and curiously opened it, sketchbook in hand.

“Patton? Is everything okay?” He looked at the cat-loving side as he fiddled with his cardigan, gaze askance.

“Yeah... It’s just... Logan seems really grumpy lately. I tried to cheer him up but he kinda... shut me out...” His cheerful smile lost strength and dropped into a droopy frown.

“Aw, Pat.” Roman was about to comfort the moral side, but he pushed the prince’s hands away.

“D-don’t comfort me! If there’s anyone who needs comforting, it’s Logan!” The fatherly side made his way into Roman’s messy- yet colorful- room.

“But he pushed you away! I’d say ‘fine!’ and be done with him. He obviously doesn’t appreciate how much thought you put into the emotional states of others.” Roman wrinkled his nose stubbornly and crossed his arms.

“Do you think we could find a way to cheer him up?” Patton still focused on the dark blue side in question.

“No, Pat. If he wants to be mean to you, I say just let him figure it out on his own.” Roman rubbed the father’s shoulder and they sat and talked for a while.

“I’m going to go make some coffee for Virgil. He must still be worked up from that last video. You come out when you feel like it, okay Padre?” Roman hugged the light blue side before leaving the room.

Patton knew it was hard for Roman to sympathize with the teacher, but didn’t think he would hit a brick wall when going to him for ideas. The fatherly trait looked around the room and spotted the creative side’s spell book.

Idea.

Patton couldn’t help the playful grin that brightened his face as he started looking through the spells, searching for one relating to happiness or laughter. He reached the pink section of the book and grinned ear to ear. Tickle spells. Perfect. Looks like Roman had helped him after all.

After looking through the spells several times, Patton had decided that he would cast Bottomless Pit of Laughter. The description read

“One who is not phased by the grand side of reality,

will find, in inescapable laughter, perception in morality

emotions golden, undeniable and truly flowing freely

the victim will succumb to happiness, endlessly reeling.”

That sounded about right.

Patton cracked his knuckles but hesitated. Was this really the right thing to do?

A distance away, downstairs, he heard two voices arguing. The louder, Logan’s.

“I have no time for this, Roman!” An angry voice shouted before Patton heard stomping footsteps thunder up the stairs and a door slam.

Oh yeah. He was doing this.

...

Logan sighed and placed his head in his hands. For some odd reason, he had grown stressed about keeping his image. After defeating Remus in the last video and finally being called “cool,” he was more scared than ever to lose his status. He felt this meant he should hold himself above the others, but later realized rating himself as more than any of the other sides was wrong, but couldn’t admit that. Virgil had instructed him to talk to someone about it. (Virgil only knew because the logical side was growing paranoid,) Yet when Patton had offered, the teacher had shut him down like an idiot. This strange superior attitude took over and hurt the cat-loving father figure. He was too scared, now. Was he already losing status? All the sides already seemed angry at him!

The teacher laid on his stomach on his bed and groaned with overwhelming negative emotions.

He flinched as he felt a light tingling at the tips of his toes. He looked back at them, expecting a feather of finger gliding up his feet, just to see nothing. Since he was alone, he thought maybe it was okay to let a little giggle slip.

BAD CHOICE.

As soon as a puff of air left his lips, the tingling got noticeably worse, causing a surprised bark to come from the teacher. And that bark led the tingling to worsen even more, until it felt like fingers digging into his soles.

“Heeheh! Wait- ahahaha! AH! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh NohOHOHOHO! ST-STAHAHAHAHAP IHIHIHITAHAHAHAHA!”

Logan tried to stop himself from laughing, realizing that’s what was making the the tickling worse, but once Logan starts laughing he can’t really stop...

...

“What in the world?” Roman sat up from his plate.

The other had started dinner without the dark blue side, and Patton had insisted they keep their conversations quiet... for some reason.

The night had been going rather solemn before they all heard a screeching coming from the upstairs.

As the other two started to panic, they were confused by the grin on Patton’s face.

“Pop, what did you do?” Virgil raised an eyebrow at the fatherly side who just winked before rushing up the steps, the other two right behind.

“P-PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! AHA- NAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Logan was literally rolling on the floor, surrounded by the unbearable sensation as it reached it’s peek, spreading all over his body and making him lose his bearings on sanity.

He opened one eye as his laugh became silent, eyes leaking mirthful tears, and realized the other three were staring down at him with with bright smiles.

As his laugh became silent, the tickling died down, allowing him to breathe for a few seconds.

He looked up, giggling from the tickles that still remained, just t have the feeling kick up again.

“W-waihihi- ihihit’s geheheheTING WOHOHORSE AHAHAHAHAGAIN! AHAHA! HEHEHEHELP!”

The other three started cooing and gushing over the adorable sight as the teacher was thrown back into madness, not really caring about his status anymore.

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j-j-ehlby-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Loved You First (s.s.)

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: Sebastian hasn’t healed from his break-up, but apparently she has. When his girl starts to date someone new, he can’t accept it. He loved her first. Based of “Loved You First” by One Direction. Sequel to “Love You Goodbye”

Warnings: Angst, fluff, tears, happy ending

A/N: For some reason I keep getting inspired by 1D songs so here’s another one. I do NOT own the song or the picture. Again, lyrics should be in bold but mobile probably won’t adhere to what I want.

My Masterlist

I knew moving on from her would be the most difficult thing in the world to do. She was supposed to be my forever. We talked endlessly about our future: where we wanted to get married, how many kids we wanted, where we would settle down when the time came… I imagined it all with her.

But life had a different plan for us.

Four months after she left, my phone started blowing up with the news I had dreaded the most: she started dating someone else. She started posting pictures on her Instagram of them on fancy nights out, warm nights in, him surprising her with lunch while she’s working, spontaneous dates, and her saying she’s “the luckiest girl.”

Girl, that should be me drivin’ to your house Knockin’ on your door, kissin’ you on the mouth Holdin’ on your hand, dancin’ in the dark…

I wanted be happy for her. She was finally able to get everything she deserved in a relationship: someone who was around all the time who she could spend more than a few days with at a time; someone to take her on spontaneous dates and not have to worry about it being all over the internet within the hour; someone who could surprise her by bringing her lunch in the middle of the day; someone who knew how to communicate with her…

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t be happy. I couldn’t be happy knowing someone else was making her smile until her cheeks hurt, someone else was holding her late at night and kissing her until she was breathless… that should be me.

‘Cause I was the only one who loved you from the start…

I wanted to be angry. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to punch holes through the nearest wall. I wanted to cry hot tears of rage… How could she have moved on so quickly? While my heart was still shattered, missing her every moment of every day, she was out with someone else. She filled that void that I couldn’t keep filled.

I want to, but then I remember that this was my fault. She was with him because of me and because of my lifestyle. She was with him because I let her walk out of my life without truly fighting for her…

When she said she couldn’t be with me anymore, I shut down. I never expected to lose her. I thought we could get through anything as long as we were together. I knew we had hit a bump in the road since we were fighting constantly and my filming schedule was busier than it usually was, but I thought we could get passed it. I have a break after filming wrapped for this movie and was planning on taking her to Romania. I was going to surprise her when I finished this movie, but she made up her mind. And once she makes up her mind, there was no changing it.

The last time I saw her, I almost told her of my plans. I almost begged her to wait a few more months and then I would make everything up to her. But I knew my girl. I knew she already felt awful for hurting me, I didn’t want her to feel worse. So she let me love her for one last night and then she was gone. Waking up alone, I felt numb at first, but then I found her cardigan. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much or felt that much pain in my entire life. I knew I didn’t want us to be apart. I knew it then and I know it now.

But now when I see you with him, It tears my world apart…

As the months went by, I couldn’t help but watch her posts about him. Every picture she looked happier than the last. Thankfully she never posted any pictures of her kissing him. That may have made me vomit. With every picture, with every month that went by that they celebrated together… seeing her with him just fueled my fire to get her back. She’s meant to be with me. And I’m going to tell her that.

Right after we wrapped filming, I flew to where she lived. I know I had no right to barge back into her life again. She’s happy. She’s moved on. She’s given her heart to someone else who probably deserves it more than me. But I had to try. I had to fight, even if I may be too late.

Because I’ve been waitin’ all this time to finally say it But now I see your heart’s been taken and nothing could be worse…

As soon as I land, I drive to her place. I have no idea if she will even be home or if she was going to be with him. She could slam the door in my face and not hear me out. I haven’t tried contacting her since she left out of respect for her, even though I wanted to more than anything. And then I decide to just show up out of the blue, begging for her to take me back when I know she has someone. I wouldn’t blame her at all if she told me to leave. I’m hoping she won’t though. I’m hoping she still loves me enough to listen to what I have to say.

Had my chances, could’ve been where he is standin’ That’s what hurts the most, girl, I came to close But now you’ll never know….

I know I had my chance already and I blew it, but I love her with everything I have in me and I believe we could be great together again if she were to give me another chance.

Girl, it should be me callin’ on your phone Sayin’ you’re the one and that I’ll never let you go…

When I pulled onto her street, she was just getting out of her car. She looked even more beautiful than I remembered, still taking my breath away. She was talking on her phone, smiling from ear to ear. I imagine she’s probably talking to him, telling him about her day like she used to do with me. In the beginning, she would very animatedly tell me everything that went on throughout her day. It was easily my favorite part of the day because it would almost seem like I was there with her through all of it. I wished more than anything that I could. I always held onto the day that we could be together again and I could see her stunningly beautiful smile for myself.

I waited for her to enter her house before getting out of the car. My heart raced as I made my way up to her front door. I rehearsed what I was going to say all the way here, but as soon as she opened the door, my mind went blank.

Her jaw dropped when she saw me. She told her mom that she would have to call her back before she turned her attention back to me. “Sebastian, what are you doing here?”

“Can I talk to you?” I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep myself from pulling her to me. Eight months is the longest we’d been apart since we met and my body was aching to be close to hers again. Having her so close, yet so far, my hands were itching to touch her skin again.

I could see the conflict in her eyes. She was debating on whether or not she should. “Please?” I begged. “I promise I won’t be long.”

With that, she opened the door wider and she stepped aside. I took that as my invitation to come in. Her house still smelled the same, like her. Stepping through the familiar threshold, the feeling of home washed over me as it always did when I would visit her. She ushered us into her living room where we sat in silence.

“I miss you,” I blurted, turning to her.

“Sebastian, please-” She stood up, but I grabbed her wrist to stop her before standing as well. I enveloped her smaller hand in both of mine, pulling her back to me. Her smaller hand was warm in mine, spreading it throughout my entire body. Her touch always did that for me.

“No, please, just hear me out.” I begged before she could say anything else. She looked at me with almost as much pain as she did that night. She’s still hurting, possibly as much as I am.

I remember the first time I looked into her eyes. I knew in an instant that I was done for. I knew that I could fall in love with her. She was different than any girl I’d ever known. In that moment, I knew she was going to change my life forever. Anyone I had been with prior to that day became a distant memory and there would be no one else who could even come close to her. It’s still true to this day.

I never understood what love was really like But I felt it for the first time lookin’ in your eyes…

I continued when she didn’t stop me, “I miss you so much- I miss you so much it hurts.” I tried to convey what I’d been waiting for so long to say, but words were failing. I was so nervous, my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she was standing in front of me again, holding her hand.

But now when I see you with him My whole world falls apart…

“And I know that you’re with him, that you’ve given your heart to him, and that kills me. It kills me to see you with someone who isn’t me. I hate knowing that I made the worst mistake of my life when I let you go. You’re,” I could feel my emotions coming to the surface. The emotions I’d kept buried for months were threatening to explode now that I was here, looking into her eyes, confessing everything to her. I took a deep breath before continuing, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I choked out as the tears filled my eyes, even when I was trying to be strong. But I can never hide how I feel when I’m around her.

The first touch, the first kiss First girl to make me feel like this…

“From the first touch of your hand saying hello to our first kiss later that night, you were the first girl to make me feel love from the moment I met you. I knew I could love you for the rest of my life if you let me. I’m so sorry for screwing it all up. If you could just give me one more chance, I know we could make this work.” I felt like I was rambling on but the words just kept coming. All of the things I’ve wanted to say to her since she left just come spilling out.

Heartbreak, it’s killin’ me...

She remained silent while listening to me, tears in her own eyes starting to form. I finally got up the nerve to pull her into my arms, all caution thrown out the window. “Please, baby,” I whisper against her forehead as I kiss it, “please baby, I need you.” I rest my forehead on hers, trying to calm myself down, “I Loved You First, why can’t you see?”

I finally pulled back after what felt like hours. Her hands held tightly onto the back of my shirt like she never wanted to let go. Her eyes were shut but her lip was quivering. She was trying hard to stay strong, but I could see her slipping. I cradled her face in my hands, “Baby, look at me.”

She shook her head, taking in a shaky breath, “I can’t.”

“Please,” I beg again, but she pulled back from me completely.

A sob escaped her lips before she finally opened her eyes. Tears fell from both as she glared at me. “No, I can’t do this.” She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. “Why are you saying all of this to me? Now of all times?”

“Because baby, I Loved You First. And because I’m afraid that if I waited any longer, I would have lost you forever.”

“God damn it, Sebastian.” She whimpered, wiping her eyes.

We stand in her living room in silence. Neither of us knowing what to say now that everything is out there.

I sigh, “I know I’m asking a lot and I don’t expect you to have an answer for me right now.” I know her mind. I know she will be going back and forth with this decision for days, if not weeks. She’s never been the type of person to just jump in with both feet. She needs time to think about it and I will give her that. I reach into my pocket and placed the plane ticket I have for her on her couch. “I’ll give you as much time as you need. If I don’t hear from you by this day and time, I’ll never bother you again.” My heart hurt saying those words, but if she doesn’t choose me, I will let her go. She deserves to be happy even if it’s not with me.

With that, I walk out, leaving my heart in her hands.

For the following weeks of reshoots and press for the new movie, I don’t hear from her. I stay off all social media because I don’t want to know her decision until the day the plane leaves for Romania. I know it’ll either be the second greatest day of my life or the second worst.

I’m anxiously bopping my knee and tapping my fingers on the door as I ride to the airport. In the other hand, I fidget with a little box I bought a year ago, opening and closing it as the minutes ticked by. After nearly tripping up the steps to the jet, I’m floored by what I see waiting for me.

She’s here.

I’m frozen in the doorway as she notices I’ve arrived. She’s dressed in her signature leggings and long-sleeved white t-shirt for traveling. Her hair is in a messy bun, she’s wearing her glasses, and she has zero make-up on. She’s never looked more perfect to me.

“Took you long enough,” She smirks.

Without missing a beat, I reach into my backpack, effectively storing the little box away and pulling out something even more meaningful to both of us. I hold out the cardigan she left, a smile forming on her perfect lips as she approaches me. I slide it up her arms and onto her shoulders where it was always meant to be. She turns around and wraps her arms around my neck, bringing her body to mine where it was also always meant to be.

I pull away slightly but only to capture her lips with mine. Happiness flows through my body as my love embraces me with as much love as we can fathom.

I loved her goodbye once and I will never let her go again because I loved her first and I will be the last.

~*~

Tags: @the-marvel-wars @elusive-beauty @im-a-slut-for-an-accent @fantasy-is-my-reality @drakesfiance

#Loved You First #Love You Goodbye #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan oneshot #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x ofc

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swellwriting · 6 years ago

Text

idontwannabeyouanymore

Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauders Era)

Pairing: Remus x Reader

Warnings: Uhm angst kind of, Reader is insecure so that’s kind of a touchy topic for some.

A/N: This is based off the song idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish, take a listen try not to let it get you too emo.

Word Count: 2.3k

As you walked down the hallway you pulled your sleeves over your hands and folded your cardigan around yourself tilting your head slightly down so your hair fell to curtain your face, the usual routine when you became aware that people could be looking at you. Remus noticed right away, he always did.

“Don’t be that way.”

You frowned and then forced a smile, your insecurities swallowing you whole, you hid your shame and self-hatred with a witty response.

“What? I’m not allowed to fall apart at least twice a day?”

“Maybe once, but not twice.”

His response was also witty but held a serious tone, not letting you brush this aside as usual, with no witty response to that you stayed quiet.

“I just wish you could feel what you say about others.”

“Mhm like what?”

“Like the way you ignored Sirius’ reputation and gave him the same clean slate you would anyone else. You didn’t have to hear his side or work your way in to break down his walls to hear the truth behind the reputation, you believed in him since day one. Don’t tell James but I think he would have come to your house instead of James’ that night he left home if you weren’t on vacation.”

“Oh yeah don’t tell james that, I don’t wanna come between their bromance.”

Remus let himself smile but grabbed your hands and pulled you to an empty hallway.

“No Y/N, im being Serious. Why can’t you treat yourself the way you treat others?”

“I’m not trying to treat myself differently.”

“You should be as forgiving to yourself as you are to me when I shut myself away from everyone.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“And you’re at fault for something?”

“Well…”

“No excuses, you give everyone unconditional love except yourself.”

“I want to.” You said frowning, trying to hold your composure, the hallway was no place to have an emotional breakdown. Remus watched your face fall and grabbed your hands pulling you down the hallways swiftly wanting to bring you somewhere else. But luckily for you the hallways crowded and the bell rang, class would be your escape from this unwanted conversation.

You managed to avoid Remus after class too, swiftly making your way to your room to hide yourself away, your room was a comfort, your own slice of heaven in your eyes. Your roommates unprying, but still nice to you. The comfort of your sheets, an open window and a book was all you thought you would ever need. But as you made your way to your bed you passed your mirror accidentally meeting your reflection in what you hoped would be an empty room, forced to face yourself for what should have been a fleeting second to anyone else but you dwelled there, staring yourself down.

You stepped closer looking at your reflection picking out all the flaws no one else could notice with a magnifying glass. Things that maybe existed solely in the expanse if your mind filling it to the brim with self hatred and insecurities. You wanted to cry or scream at your reflection, have her scream back and tell you all the things you were feeling in your mind but the room was silent aside from your shallow breaths getting deeper as anger boiled in your chest.

Was it normal to look in the mirror and feel hatred? Not love for your smile or admiration for your kind eyes, without adjusting your hair out of your face so elegantly like everyone else did while passing their reflection.

You wanted to punch the mirror and watch it shatter, so angry at your reflection you wanted to physically hurt her. But you knew it was too dramatic and your magic and mental state were not one on the same, you’d be too weak to conjure up a spell and repair the millions of shards leaving a permanently cracked mirror in your wake to constantly remind you of your self hatred on days like today. Making every day feel like this.

You might as well write your thoughts on the mirror and force yourself to read them every morning, feeling as though you deserved to feel like this everyday, like the good days never mattered when you had to go through a bad one. But you wouldn’t do that nor would you smash it.

You whispered instead of yelling, talking to yourself so quiet only you and the mirror could hear, telling the mirror what you know she’s heard before.

You pressed your forehead against the mirror in defeat, you would hug your reflection if you could just to provide yourself with some much needed comfort but that wasn’t an option.

You instead gripped the sides of the mirror so hard you thought it might end up cracking anyways, but after a few labored breaths and as a few lines of tears slowly trickled down your cheeks curving over to your mouth making you taste the salt, you finally backed away, half expecting there to be two dents in the mirror and two bloody shard filled thumbs at your sides.

But all that was there was a few smudges you would never take the time to clean and your own reflection staring sadly back at you. When you finally turned away from her your eyes met Remus’ who were wide and filled with even more empathy than usual which you didn’t think was possible, the boy would overdose on empathy if he wasn’t careful.

He was standing in the doorway and you didn’t know for how long, you didn’t know if he saw you cry and whisper to yourself, if he saw you get angry and then try to seek comfort in yourself going through a whirlwind of emotions.

How often did you do this? Do you always feel like this? Did he make you feel like this by not telling you how he felt about you, how the face you hated made his heart melt and his knees week, especially when you would smile, specifically at him.

“I didn’t want to talk before and I don’t want to now.” You spoke up, lifting your chin as you did faking a strength you knew was not within you.

“Well now I can’t ignore it, you can’t do that to yourself Y/N, you can’t be so harsh so judgmental!” Remus pleaded, wanting to close the space between the two of you.

“Well I just did and I always do and I’m fine.”

“You are not fine you're ripping yourself apart!” Remus felt like crying too, he felt helpless not knowing how to help you.

“I just don’t want to be stuck as me anymore. And I know it's selfish for me to complain about to you of all people.” You admitted sitting at the edge of your unmade bed, looking at the book that lied within the messy sheets. You would much rather be reading, escaping to a world where all the problems were fictional.

“Well you’re you for your whole life, if you can’t learn to love yourself you’ll be living life like an enemy in your own body, and I know what that's like, I don't want you to have to be like that too!” He spoke with so much emotion, always a caring soul but usually dripping with sarcasm and a cheeky grin which were both nowhere to be found right now. Just raw emotional Remus wanting to scream I love you but not having enough nerve.

“That's how I feel already.”

“Well I think you need to make amends even if I have to endlessly tell you how beautiful you are inside and out, how you catch the eyes of everyone in a room including your own and that’s why you never notice, then I will.”

“You don’t mean that Rem, you've never said that to me before.”

“Because I was selfish.”

“How?” You asked so timidly, completely unaware of what Remus was talking about.

“I didn’t think you needed to hear it I didn’t want to say it out loud.” Remus admitted coming to sit down beside you, fiddling with his sleeves pulling the the loose strings.

“You didn't want to tell me you think I’m pretty?” You asked him so dumbly, so naively having no idea the emotions the boy beside you had been harboring for your for so long and how deep they really ran within him.

“No I can’t just say you’re pretty without saying your smile is the most enticing thing I have ever seen it makes me smile, it makes me want to never stop. The way it lifts your cheeks and you squint your eyes a bit, especially when your really happy.

“Stop it.” You interrupted and he ignored you, something he usually never allowed himself to do.

“And the way your eyes are like traffic lights with how much you can say through them I know when you’re happy or when you’re sad and want space just by looking at you. I can’t just tell you you’re pretty without describing every single thing I love about you and if I start now I might never shut up.” When he finished he was out of breath, like you knowing all of this was suddenly more important than his brain getting oxygen. “Especially about your smile and those lips.”

What he said wasnt fixing you, it wasn't a missing piece you had suddenly found, like you were nothing without Remus, but it was still good, it was the reassurance that you needed for so long and it wasn't solely mending you and putting you back together but his words were like the thread and you yourself held the needle, sewing yourself back to one whole. It gave you the courage to change the entire tone of the conversation with one sentence, a more challenging one. “What about them?”

“Your lips specifically always look so soft even when you bite away at them I want to kiss them better and I’ve been watching you chew your lips while I’ve been talking and it’s rather distracting.” Remus instantly picked up on your change of direction, glad the conversation was still just as serious but not as heavy as before. You smiled so wide you could barely see his expression of waiting and patience so you continued to challenge him, push him and tease, a little unsure of where he would take it, if at all. “Then distract yourself Lupin.”

Maybe the confidence boost he had just given you helped spark those words but the love and actual spark from the kiss that ensued could lead to a lot more. The kiss was short lived but sweet, it tasted like you thought Remus would but felt like a question and confirmation all in one. When Remus pulled away he took a deep breath and you prepared yourself for what you assumed was inevitable, the i love you but. When Remus spoke it started with an apology so you prepared yourself for him to say exactly that but he didn't, not at all.

“I'm sorry, I can’t help but feel guilty for you feeling this way about yourself, even if it’s not directly my fault I sure as hell did not help you.”

“You didn't do anything wrong Remus. You were always there for me, even when I pushed you away.”

“I told Sirius to stop calling you hot and endlessly telling you empty pick up lines, I told James to stop calling you cute and acting in awe when you would put your hair up using your wand. I know we all kept you busy and out late with us that you missed out on the girl talks, sleepovers, and the support and compliments that you would have gotten from important girl friendships.”

You remained silent, thinking about what would be different if that stuff was a constant in your life, girl friends to confide in instead of the basic politeness you held with your roomates and the fact that the Marauders treated you exactly like on of the boys compared to when they acted like you were in fact a girl. Remus took your silence as a chance to keep explaining himself in endless apologetic rambles.

“I know how much you doubt your knowledge and your assignments, I should have know that self doubt would be just as bad about yourself and your looks. I should have noticed sooner. So even though I hate it I’ll tell Sirius he can say you look hot when you wear jeans even though I know he’s staring at your ass. I’ll ask James to compliment your messy buns because you’ve had your hair down for weeks to hide yourself away and I don’t want you to hide anymore.”

This didn’t magically make your self resentment go away, but the flood had gone down to mere puddles you could walk around, you would have to work on loving yourself and the maybe the boy in front of you as well, who was looking at you like a puppy dog begging to be loved. You were looking at a boy who just poured his heart out to you. And it would be so easy to get a cup and scoop up some of that love and emotion and take a sip and feel the love warm up your veins and fill your body, so you looked at him sweetly and smiled.

“Would you ever lie to me Rem?”

“I never lied, just withheld the truth out of fear.” He answered honestly.

“If I love you was a promise, would you break it if your honest?”

“No, i’ll tell you everyday and it will never become less true than the day before.”

“As happy as I am right in this moment I wish you didn't have to see that, I wish no one would, not even me. Only you know the way that I break.”

“That's okay, I’ll memorize exactly how to put you back together like my favourite puzzle that never tires me, and i'll never lose a peice.”

You felt a tear slip from your eye and hit your cheeks that were stuck out from your wide smile, a tear of happiness instead of pain and anger. “Then I guess I’m all yours solve.”

Tag List: @fortisfiliae @sjriusblck @theboywhocriedlupin @moonynprongs @starlitfawkes

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ncts-nightnight · 6 years ago

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2017-10

171001 어~ 일요일 밤인데도 마음 편한 느낌 좋아. 오늘은 늦게 자도 되지? Uh~ it's nice to feel at ease on sunday night. Today, it's okay to sleep late, right? 171002 사람들이 이번 연휴를 가을방학이라고 하더라? 숙제도 없는 방학이라니.. 행복하당~ People say this holiday is a fall holiday. A holiday without any homework. I'm happy~ 171003 관심있는 사람한텐, 이럴때 연락해야돼, 놓치지 말구. 추석 잘 보내~ 맛있는거 많이 먹구. 아 참! 근데 뭐할거야? 연휴도 긴데. 나랑.. 밥 한번 먹을래? ... 좋아, 자연스러웠어. Good job. To the person you have interest in at time like this you should contact that person, don't miss it. "Enjoy Chuseok~ eat a lot of delicious food. Ah! But what will you do? The holiday is long enough. Do u want to eat with me?" Good, it was natural. Good job. 171004 나는 아까 달 보고 소원을 빌었어. 니가 많이 웃게 해 달라고. 그게, 내가 제일 행복해지는 방법이니까. 추석에도 함께하는 NCT의 NIGHT NIGHT I saw the moon earlier and made a wish. I asked for you to be able to smile a lot because it's the way for me to be happy. Together with NCT's Night Night on Chuseok as well. 171005 오늘은 어떤 날로 기억될까? 너무 평범한 하루라 그냥 잊혀질 수도 있겠지만 너랑 함께였다는건 오래오래 기억할 것 같아. 나 만나줘서 고마워. What kind of day will we remembered today? If it's a really normal day, it can just be forgotten. But, I think I can remember it for a long time if I'm with you. Thank you for meeting me. 171006 오늘 뭐 했어? 뭐 푹 자고, 맛있는 것도 먹고, 놀고, 또 먹고, 자고, 놀고? 드디어 꿈이 현실이 됐구나. What did you do today? You slept well, and ate tasty food, and played, and ate again, slept, played? Finally the dream became reality. 171007 생각보다 우리가 쉴 수 있는 시간은 많지 않아. 우리는 쉬는 날에도 끊임없이 뭔가를 하려고 하니까. 그런데가끔은 다 내려놓고 쉬는 시간이 필요해. 오늘 그랬으면 좋겠다~ We don't have much time to rest than we thought. Since we still have to do something endlessly during the rest day. But we still need time to put down everything and rest. I hope you were like that today~ 171008 나~ 이런 글귀를 봤어. 새로운 요리의 발견이 새로운 별의 발견보다 인간을 행복하게 만든다! 그래~ 행복은 가까운데 있어. 그러니까 연휴 끝나기 전에 맛있는거 많이 먹자. I~ saw a quote. It makes people happier when the new dish discovered rather than the discovery of a new star! Right~ happiness is close. Therefore, let's eat a lot of tasty food before the holiday ends. 171009 아니야..! 넌 할 수 있어! 내일 아침에 눈을 뜰 수 있어! 제발 슬퍼하지마! 내일도, 나 기다리고 있을게. ...응? 그래도 힘 안나? 잉잉잉잉~~ No..! You can do it! You can open your eyes tomorrow morning! Please don't be sad! I'll be waiting tomorrow as well... Yes? Still don't get the strength? Hinggg~~ 171010 매일 해가 쨍쨍하면 모든게 마르고 지쳐버릴거야. 오늘 니 마음속 날씨가 흐리다면 잠시 한숨 돌리는 시간이라고 생각해. 쉬자, 나랑 같이. If it's sunny everyday, everything will be dry and worn out. If the weather in your heart is cloudy today, I think it's time take a breath for a while. Let's take a break, together with me. 171011 된다고 믿어야 해. 머리로 안된다고 생각하는 순간, 마음도 몸도 그렇게 받아들여. 너도 모르게 포기를 하게 돼. 된다고 믿어. 넌 돼. Believe that it will work. When you think that it won't work, the heart and the body will receive it like that too. You also will give up without you knowing. Belive that it will work. You can. 171012 춥다, 감기 조심해. 아무한테나 할 수 있는 가벼운 말 같지만 너한테는 가볍게 하는거 아니야. 감기조심해~? 아프지마. It's cold, be careful of cold. It seems like a light word to anyone, but it's not to you. Be careful of cold~? Don't get sick. 171013 아침엔 계속 자고싶고 밤엔 계속 깨있고 싶고, 내일 아침에 후회할 거 알면서도 자기 싫은거, 그것도 일종의 관성의 법칙이지. 매일 밤 내가 보고 싶은 것도 그것도 관성의 법칙이야. We want to keep sleeping in the morning and want to stay awake at night. Knowing that in the morning we'll regret it, but still don't want to sleep. That's the law of inertia. That you want to see me everynight is also the law of inertia. 171014 나가서 여기저기 다니고 싶은데 자꾸 집에만 있게돼? 그럼 이런걸 장만해 봐. 새 카메라, 마음에 드는 구두, 포근한 가디건. 그럼 걔들이 널 데리고 나갈거야. You want to go outside and go to here and there, but you keep staying at home? Then try to prepare this.. new camera, shoes that you like, comfortable cardigan. Then, they will take you outside. 171015 스치는 말에도 마음이 베이는 날이 있어. 마음이 약해져 있어서 그래. 이리 와. 안아줄게. Sometimes your heart got cut by a slip of tongue. That's because your heart becomes weak. Come here! I will hug you. 171016 하늘이 매일 오늘 같았으면 좋겠다. 날 행복하게 하는 것들이 늘 곁에 있었으면. 늘 내 곁에 있어주라. I hope the sky will always be like today's. I hope the things that make me happy always beside me. Always stay beside me! 171017 따뜻하고, 달달한거 생각나는 밤이다. 붕어빵, 핫초코.. 또 뭐있지? 뭐? 내 목소리? It's the night when I think of warm and sweet things. Fish-shaped bun, hot choco... What else? What? My voice? 171018 자기 전에 주변 정리하고, 그리고 복잡한 마음도 정리하고 자. 그래야 좋은 꿈 꾸지. Arrange your surrounding before you go to sleep and also sort out your complicated mind then sleep. Therefore you can have a nice dream. 171019 한순간이야. 누군가가 나에게 평생 특별하고 소중한 사람이 되는건. 한마디의 다정함, 한번의 배려. 그런 한순간. 우린, 어떤 순간이었을까? It's for a moment. For someone to always be someone special to me. A word of kindness, one time consideration. That kind of moment. What kind of moment for us? 171020 내일은 하늘에서 별이 쏟아질거래. 근데 내 기분은 지금도, 별이 쏟아지는 것 같은데? 이시간엔 매일 그래. There will be stars on the sky tomorrow. But my feeling now is like there are stars? It's always like that everyday at this time. 171021 모든곳에 온기가 가득했음 좋겠다. 니가 듣는 말, 니가 받는 시선, 널 향한 마음들.. 니가 닿는 모든 곳에. I hope every place is full of warmth. The words you hear, the sight you see, the feelings towards you... everywhere you go to. 171022 어느새 밤이 길어졌어. 그만큼 생각도 깊어지겠지? 그 생각들이 널 괴롭히지 않길 바래. It became a long night somehow. The thoughts might also become deeper that much, don't they? I hope those thoughts won't bother you. 171023 사랑받는 사람은 티가 나. 자기 편이 있으니까 당당하고 행복한 빛이 나는 거지. ...사랑해. You can tell when someone is loved. Since (they are/I'm) on your side, so you glow with confident and happy look... I love you. 171024 하루에 한번씩 행복한 순간을 찍어. 보물상자를 만들자. 길에서 만난 예쁜 고양이, 반가운 친구 얼굴, 다 담아뒀다 힘들 때 꺼내보게. 자, 여기보세요~ 하나, 둘, 셋. Capture a happy moment once in a day. Let's make a treasure chest. The pretty cat you meet on the street, the frend's face you happy to meet, put all in and take it out during hard time. Here~ look at here~ 1 2 3 (camera capture sound) 171025 인테리어든, 메이크업이든 작은 포인트 하나면 확 달라지잖아. 기분전환 할때도 그런데. 내가 하나 추천해줄까? 나! 정재현. 나! 쟈니도~ It's either interior or make-up, it will be different with a small point. It's the same too when the mood changed. Should I recommend one? Me! Jeong Jaehyun! / Me! Johnny too~

171026 어떤 날을 보내고 왔어? 혹시.. 위로받고 싶은 날이었어? 잊고 싶은 날? 후회되는 날? 뭐든 좋아. 잘 왔어... 우리 만났으니까 이제 오늘은 그냥 좋은 날이지? How did you spend the day? Was it by any chance... the day when you want to be comforted? The day you want to forget? The day you regret? Everything is okay. It's good that you come. Since we meet, today is a good day now, right? 171027 뭐에 빠져버리면 똑바로 못 봐. 판단력을 잃게 돼. 진짜 멋진 일 아냐? 무조건적으로 행복을 주는 대상이 있다는 거니까... 무조건이야, 넌 나한테. When you fall for something, you can't see straight. You'll lose your judgement. It's not that cool, right? Since there is an unconditional cause for happiness. You to me unconditionally. 171028 손 줘봐. 발을 이렇게 하나,둘,셋 하나,둘,셋 하나,둘,셋, 쉽지? 자, 이제 음악에 맞춰서~ 하나,둘,셋 하나,둘,셋 하나,둘,셋... Give me your hand. The step is like this 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3.. easy, right? Now, together with the music! 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3... 171029 이런게 장래희망이고 꿈일수도 있잖아. 같이 있으면 좋은 사람, 모두에게 사랑스러운 사람. 근데 이게 니 꿈이라면... 벌써, 이루어졌어. Something like this can a future hope and dream. Be a good person if together, be a lovely person to everyone. But, if this is your dream... you've achieved it. 171030 모르고 있었는데, 어느새 단풍이 한창이더라. 너도 나한테 그랬었는데. 어느샌가 내 마음에 니가 물들었는데. I didn't know but it's already the peak of autumn color. You to me were also like that, you colored my heart in no time. 171031 뭘 해도 재밌어. 매일매일이 기대돼. 다 해본 일인데도 새로워. 너랑 같이 한다고 생각하면. Everything is fun. Every day I look forward to it. It's new even the thing I've done if I think to do it with you.

korean transcript: @valentinesboy97 korean-english translation: @fluffywhitie, @jaehyunbom__

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shark-from-the-park · 5 years ago

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FIC: The Fitzier of It, Episode Four

A Fitzier The Thick of It AU in several parts. You can find Episode One here , Episode Two here and Episode Three here. With sincere thanks to @casperthefriendlylittlefan and @coffeesugarcream for their cheerleading and encouragement and to everyone else who has read and enjoyed so far. I love you all, your comments/tags/asks/PM’s make my heart swell.

In this installment, James really does go for broke in his attempts to get hired as Francis’s spin doctor. This certainly won’t awaken anything in him... will it?

Warnings for very bad language, NSFW themes, endlessly snacking LeVesconte and a wild Blanky.

@litttlesilkworm @boisinberryjamarama @thegreenmeridian @cinemaocd @the-jewish-marxist @hereliesnils @nashilena @itisa-profoundbond-sarandom @idlesuperstar @what-a-terrorific-mess @kahootqueen69 @jaredharrisankles @shit-in-silk-stocking @bobbole @fellowshipofthegay @aconfusedwriter @uncannybrightside @glorioustidalwavedefendor @zaphodbeeblebro @sasheenka @intrepid-inkweaver @full-of-terrors @anadequatesir

Contact me via semiphore (or some more convenient method) to be tagged/untagged, or just to say hello/hurl abuse. xXx.

Episode Four

When James strode into Baffin House the next day, his confidence was based on more than just his usual bluster and self-assurance.

He struck it lucky as soon as he reached the second floor.

Ed Little and Thomas Jopson were sat at a desk together near the elevators, heads bent, chatting and laughing. The sideburn brothers didn’t even notice James as he passed them.

That just left Blanky.

Who was, of course, perched on the desk outside Francis’s office door like a guard dog, exchanging friendly banter with two women a few desks over (the term ‘duck’ was being thrown about with bewildering regularity).

James steeled himself and approached the Yorkshireman with his palms up in a gesture of peace.

He also kept his mouth firmly shut.

Blanky regarded him with crinkly, laughing eyes, almost fondly.

“Go on then, Fitzjames, lad. Yer’ve caught me in a good mood.”

James reached into his leather satchel, and with the bare minimum of theatricality (that he was physically capable of), brought out his gifts. One by one he placed them on the desk next to Blanky.

First came a box of colourful Paperchase paper-clips in the shapes of whales and anchors.

Second, and this one was an educated guess really, a grab bag of steak flavoured McCoy’s.

Thirdly, a folded slip of notepaper with the words ‘Shadow Cabinet’ written on it in James’s neat handwriting.

Blanky regarded each gift thoughtfully, picking up and unfolding the slip of paper, reading the contents, then meeting James’s eye.

Blanky refolded the notepaper and handed it back, the beginnings of a grin on his face.

He rapped on Francis’s office door three times, then held it open.

“Go on then, lad. Yer’ve earned it.”

With a tiny sigh of relief, James darted through the door before Blanky could change his mind.

Francis, elbow deep in some report or other, looked up at James from behind his desk in surprise.

“Thomas Blanky you useless, traitorous gimp, I should have you flogged!” He bellowed after a moment of silence.

“He brought me crisps, Frank. And fancy paper-clips. I’m not made of stone.” Blanky closed the office door behind James, effectively trapping him and Francis inside together.

“Class traitor!” Francis yelled at Blanky before sneering at James across the expanse of his desk and saying; “To what do I owe this pleasure, James?” acidly.

Realising that he had placed both hands up in a peace gesture again, James swiftly dropped them to his sides, feeling like a twat.

“I just wanted to talk, Francis. I, uh, I brought you this.” He laid the folded piece of notepaper on Francis’s desk and then took a step back.

Francis unfolded the paper, read it, peered up at James to give him a quick glare, then read it again.

“Do you honestly think I don’t already know who I want working with me? You arrogant, snot-nosed little public school wanker...” He managed to grind out at last.

James breathed out slowly through his nose.

Humility. Humility.

“The thing is, Francis, it’s not just the list. I, uh, talked to them. All of them. I mean, I vetted them all first, of course. Official and unofficial channels. Did some research into their stances on your key issues. And they’ve all, er, agreed. To back you. To serve on your shadow cabinet and toe the line on your fundamentals. All would be willing to meet with you about it. All committed. I mean, I made it clear that it was all speculative, of course. I made it clear that I was doing it off my own back. And then I found out that you’d already spoken to some of them… It’s just… I’d really like to work with you, Francis. For you.” James stopped, feeling light-headed.

Francis’s mouth kept opening and shutting silently. His face had gone the colour of cooked lobster.

James chewed on the inside of his bottom lip and waited.

Eventually, Francis managed;

“Fucking hell James. Why? Why the fuck… I’m no Sir John. I’m not in this for a fucking seat in the House of Lords. You won’t get me to schmooze with any of the great and good. There’ll be no champagne dinners. No golf. No parties with Richard fucking Branson. Have you lost your mind, James? I’m a backwards, Stalinist potato-fucker with bad dress sense, remember?”

“I’ve never said potato-fucker, Francis. About anyone.”

“I just don’t know what your game is here, James.”

“There is no game. I want to work for you. I think I can help you win.”

“You, Mister privately educated, Oxbridge, gap-year-in-South-East-Asia, Paul Smith ties and expensive haircuts, want to work for this ex-alcoholic, Bangor University graduate, backbench, cardigan-wearing Irish...”

“Look!” James interjected desperately. “Francis... Somewhere along the line, I think you might have gotten the idea that I don’t respect you...”

“Whatever could possibly have given me that impression, James.” Francis said, steely-eyed.

“But the thing is, you see, that actually, I -” James’ larynx tried to seize up over the words and he was forced to clear his throat loudly, feeling colour rise to his face. “I admire you.” He managed at last in a rushed voice that didn’t sound at all like his own.

Somehow, he felt as if he’d just said something else.

Utterly exposed.

Francis looked completely astonished. It didn’t suit him.

They stared at each other from opposite sides of the room, evidently having run off some sort of conversational cliff.

James chafed under Francis’s intense blue gaze, but having said his piece he found himself unwilling to back down or look away.

Seconds ticked by, lengthening into minutes and they just breathed in and out and looked at one another.

The office door opened and Blanky stuck his head in.

“I’m not sorry for interrupting.” He said. “Yers have been quiet for so long I thought one of you must have killed the other. Now I see it’s just some sort of homoerotic staring contest. My mistake.” He retreated and shut the door on them again.

“Alright.” Francis finally ground out from between clenched teeth. “I’ll consider it.”

James, whose brain had snagged on the words ‘homoerotic staring contest’, blinked at him in confusion.

“You’ll...”

“I’ll consider bringing you and Le Vesconte on board. I’ll meet with the names on your bloody list.”

“Oh. Well. Good. Good.” James felt as though he were having an out of body experience.

“Just… liaise with Blanky. Set up the meetings.”

“Alright Francis. And… Thank you...”

James exited Francis’s office as quickly as was humanly possible, only to find Blanky, Ed Little, Jopson and half a dozen others crowded around the door, peering at him with rapt curiosity.

*****

“Fucking hell, Fitz. It sounds about as nerve-wracking as asking him to a school disco.”

“No, it was worse than that.” Muttered James, strangely subdued. “It was like one of those dreams where you… No, it was like… Like I accidentally took off my face and showed him the horrific writhing mass of gore that is the real me, for a second...”

“Fuck. That’s deep, Fitz. I’ve known you going on thirty years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen the real you.” Dundy managed around a mouthful of treacle scone.

“Exactly, Dundy. It wasn’t like I meant to do it.” James rubbed a hand over the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“It worked though, didn’t it? We’ve actually got a shot at being in government!”

“Mmmm? Yeah.”

Dundy looked both worried and worryingly thoughtful for a moment.

“James?” He spoke gently, as though trying not to spook a horse. “You do realise that you’re in-”

“Shut up.” James snapped back into gear all at once. “Come on, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

*****

Episode Five here...

#fitzier #the fitzier of it #jimmy fitz is in love #fuckity hi #francis crozier/james fitzjames

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darley1101 · 6 years ago

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Do You Want To Build A Snowman?

Prompt Request: Being stuck at their house during a blizzard

Requested by: @jadedpixiescribbles

Pairing: Chris Powell x Aria/MC (from The Junior)

Ratings: 18+ story does contain adult conversation and references sexual acts.

Chris x MC tag list: @maxattack-powell @syltti78 @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid

perma tag list: @debramcg1106 @josieschoices @speedyoperarascalparty @christopher-powell @tmarie82 @blackcatkita @mfackenthal @hamulau @endlessly-searching-for-you @umccall71 @damienazariostan @penguininapinktuxedo @eileendannie @kingliamthirst @writtenbycandy @boneandfur @drakelover78 @endlessly-searching-for-you @stopforamoment

Do You Want To Build A Snow Man?

Using the tip of her index finger, Aria created a small peep hole in the living room blinds. A grin stretched across her full lips as she took in the court yard of their apartment complex. For once the weather man was right, she thought with glee. A thick layer of fluffy, white snow had coated the world some time during the night. Judging by the moody gray sky and the large fat flakes that were still falling, there was more snow to come. “Chris,” she called, trying to curb her excitement but failing. She couldn't help it, she loved the snow. “It snowed!”

“I know,” Chris laughed around a wide yawn. He strolled out of their bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of joggers that hung low on hips. Normally, Aria would take the time to appreciate the expanse of tanned muscle on display but...snow! She needed to get out in the snow. They needed to build a snow man. It was tradition. First snow of the year, her and Chris built a snowman. Good ole Mr. Chestnut. This year wasn't going to be an exception.“According to my weather app we're going to get more.”

“Yes!” Aria couldn't resist clapping her hands together and doing a little dance. Her blue eyes sparkled with excitement as she pushed Chris onto the sofa and straddled his lap, her splayed thighs pushing the t shirt she'd worn to bed up around her waist. She cupped Chris's cheeks and pressed several quick kisses across his lips, nose, and chin. “Hurry and get dressed! We need to go to the store before the masses empty it and,” her grin grows wider, “then we can play in the snow!”

Chris wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her lithe body up flush against his. “I took care of the food situation last night while you were at your newspaper meeting,” he reminded her, nibbling her ear. “And...are you sure you want to go outside? Wouldn't you rather stay in here and...” he paused, sliding his hands into her panties to cup her ass, “warm up?”

“Chris, there's a blizzard on the way!” Aria protested. “We'll have plenty of time for warming up. Come on, I need to make a snowman.” She rolled her eyes when he shot her a wounded puppy look. “Uh uh, that's not going to work on me.” She couldn't help but giggle when he pooched his lower lip out as far as it would go. “What if I promise to give you a blow job later? Hm? Will you help me build a snowman then?”

“Did you seriously just offer a blowie in exchange for helping you build a snow man?” Chris burst out laughing.

“If you're going to be like that, forget it” Aria sulked. She started to push away, only to be pulled back tight against his chest. “Le' go. I'm mad at you.”

“Nope. Sorry. No can do.” Chris nipped her ear lobe. “I'm kinda looking forward to that blowie.”

“Yeah, well the only way you're getting it is if you help me build a snowman.”

Chris pulled back, a bemused look on his handsome face. “You do realize that we had the blizzard last night and that the snow is at least five feet deep?”

Widening her eyes, Aria stared at him in disbelief. She looked for some sign that he was joking with her but found none. Wiggling off his lap, she bolted back to the window and yanked the blinds all the way up. Sure enough, upon closer inspection, the first floor of the apartment building across from theirs had snow half way up the side. “We're trapped,” she whispered, her mind flashing back to Freshmen year when the electricity had gone out and she, along with Chris, had been stupid enough to think they could trek across campus to an emergency phone. She'd ended up with a nasty bump on her forehead from an ice laden tree branch falling on her and she'd chipped her tail bone after slipping on some ice.

“Pretty much.” Chris rose from the sofa and walked over, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. He bent slightly, resting his chin atop her head. “Don't worry, we can still build a snowman,” he whispered in her ear. Aria shook her head. Her snowman dreams had been dashed. It was silly how bummed she was but building Mr. Chestnut after the first snow was a tradition. “I'm serious. Throw some clothes on and I'll prove it.” Chris released her, striding towards the sliding glass door that led out onto the little balcony off the dining alcove. She let out a small protest when he slid it open and gestured towards the pile of snow that hid the little wrought iron chair and table set her mother had bought them. “There's just enough for Mr. Chestnut.” To prove his point his knelt down and reached outside to form a bowling ball sized base. He looked over his shoulder grinning. “Well...what are you waiting for?”

Aria let out a child like giggle and hurried to join him. “Oh my God it's so cold,” she complained as a gust of frigid wind cut across the court yard and pushed through the open balcony door. Shivering violently, she dropped down next to Chris, leaning forward just enough to gather some of the snow into a slightly smaller ball than the one Chris had created. Her fingers shook as she carefully set it atop the base. “You can make his head and I'll find him some facial features,” she suggested through chattering teeth. Chris laughed as she scrambled to her feet and ran for the kitchen. Before looking for anything that could be used to create Mr. Chestnut's features, she made a beeline for the thermostat and moved it up several degrees. Chris might have an internal heater that kept him from freezing, but Aria did not. “Alright, lets do this,” she said several minutes later, dropping her cache of possible snowman features on the floor next to Chris. “Eyes.” She picked up a pair of over sized buttons that had come as extras for a cardigan she didn't have anymore because Kaitlyn sucked at returning things. “Nose.” While Chris fit the buttons into the appropriate position for eyes, Aria played with the little blue plastic whistle AJ had left on her last visit. “Mouth.” Digging into the bag of pull apart Twizzlers, Aria pulled a single strand off one of the pieces of candy and then shaped it into a grin beneath the whistle nose. “And...because Mr. Chestnut is the most stylist snowman on the block!” She tied a piece of ribbon around the Snowman's neck, forming a cute little bow tie and then sat back on her heels to admire the quirky little creature they had created. “Best one yet.”

“I don't, I'm partially to the original Mr. Chestnut,” Chris teased, sliding the door shut and locking it. “Now...about that-” He blinked as she pursed her lips and blew some warm air in his direction. “Seriously, Ari?” She laughed, falling back on the patterned rug that hid the otherwise boring beige carpet.

“I'm sorry,” she gasped around giggles. “I couldn't help myself.”

“So...you're going to understand that I can't help myself when I do this...” Aria let out a strangled gasp as Chris slid one of his freezing cold hands up under her shirt.

“Cold,” she gasped. “So cold!”

“And because you love me, you won't mind warming me up.” Chris hovered over her, his mouth mere inches from her own. A shiver that had nothing to do with the cold raced down her spine. “Hey Aria,” he whispered in her ear, his breath warm on her neck. She murmured back his name, her heart pounding faster in anticipation of what was coming next. “Do you know what would really warm me up...warm us both up?” Her breaths came in small pants as the hand up her shirt slid upward, the pad of his thumb rubbing across her nipple. “Cinnamon rolls!” Chris smirked and then laughed when her mouth dropped open in a stunned, silent oh.

#choices the junior #choices chris powell #chris x mc #mc x chris #choices chris x mc #long post

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twistednuns · 3 years ago

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February 2022

Noticing how I sat up straighter on the subway one morning due to a muscle relaxant injection. And how positively being pain-free affected my mood. So perhaps I'm sometimes just a reactive bitch because I'm in constant pain?

Girl talk at school, hugs from Sandra. Teaching Leonie handlettering.

New Zealand will reopen their borders in October! So excited!

Learning about RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria).

A morning with an interesting yellow mood of light right after sunrise.

A Saturday walk through the forest with Michi, Lena and Christian; lots of sunshine and lunch at the Chinese restaurant (eggplant on rice is my favourite); spending the afternoon together, making plans, fun conversation and rum-flavoured biscuits.

Finding Graffiti Tofu at Alnatura when I'd thought they'd discontinued the product. / also: their museli spelt cookies and lemon sablés.

In November they'll open a huge Ghibli Park in Nagoya! I need to go back to Japan!

Sunny weekend mornings. A pot of coffee. Working on the computer, writing, organising, creating the illusion of getting my life in order.

Vaguely planning trips to Israel and NYC.

Dinner at Goldmarie with Becky. Noticing how most guests looked like extras on a movie set due to their uniform clothing.

Endlessly scrolling through tumblr, waiting for an image to speak to me (is it 2011 again?)

I'm still not over that edamame song #clingclang

Pistachio nails with tiny diamantes.

Making friends at choir practice. Singing Oh Happy Day (one of the very few songs in the repertoire I've actually heard of before).

My first yoga lesson in years. Wearing an appropriate outfit (swirly marble leggings, a long green cardigan and a big scarf); the smug feeling of being more balanced and flexible than the other ladies at quite a few asanas despite my long hiatus.

Fiery sunsets. Blue hour. The time of the day when the sky is still light blue in the southwest but there's already a dark night sky in the east.

Making ESL worksheets. Finding a very useful website with free PNG icons. I still kinda wanna be a school book designer when I grow up...

Thorough girl crush research on Michelle Zauner and Zoe Kravitz (they're both super cool and have pretty good bands and lots of tattoos). Nursing my growing obsession with South Korea after reading Crying in H-Mart (which made me cry on the subway). There even is a Munchies episode with Maangchi and Michelle Zauner.

Most characters in Superstore. I can't even decide who I like best.

Pink heart-shaped post-its.

More pink: lunch with the very gorgeous Anika (major hair envy) at Vegan Junk House Club (the perfect place to be for pink-appreciators like me), walking through sunny downtown, stoppping at Eataly and &otherstories. Coffee and matcha cheesecake at Gartensalon.

I survived my first MRT despite my claustrophobia. The images were really interesting! I love learning about what's inside of me - physically as well as mentally.

A cute comic. Happy Valentine's to me - again...

Thick, luscious milk foam. A mild coffee obsession.

Learning all kinds of new English words all of a sudden. There are just so many. Caustic, baffling, indictment, to misconstrue, to efface, the very small difference between contraption and contraction, to pummel and to plummet. Related: two new kinds of tumors on my radar; saree cancer and squamous cell carcinoma (yes, the variety of things I find interesting is astounding).

Ya-Yah is back! She's such a talented masseuse.

Another case of reassessing something that made me super grumpy initially. In this case I'll have to spend the whole morning at school even though my class isn't there and it feels like a total waste of time. But then I thought... why not use that time for a creative project instead? So now I'm actually looking forward to it. Magic. I think this is called mental reframing and it works like a charm.

Vegan ramen at the new Takumi branch with Franzi (who I really don't see often enough).

Three compliments for my very elegant outfit (it was just the gemstone/marble turtleneck with paperbag trousers but I think my pencil updo must have made it look chic) / a compliment for my voice - worthy of voice acting, apparently. Not mad about that.

Innocent Blue Break juice. Yum.

Talking to more people at the choir. The soprano lady who welcomed me, Monika, and Peter - who turned out to be my neighbour. Getting the hang of some of the songs now that I've sang them once or twice. One was even stuck in my head for a few days!

Dark chocolate with candied orange peel (which is so weird because I used to hate orange flavour).

A date with myself. Massage, ramen noodles at SAM, shopping, Like Lovers Do at Kammerspiele (a very colourful play; I had fun even though it was very eccentric).

Using oven spray for the first time. I never knew how effective it was!

The letters my students had to write during social skills training. They wrote thank you letters to kids who make them feel good about themselves and "I wish you would..." letters to those who they're having a hard time with. I loved how deliberate most of them were!

J-Bone and A-Hole (Jonah and Amy finally starting to date #superstore)

Fresh pineapple. Mango. Strawberries. I love the day of the year when strawberries are finally available again.

Evening walks along the Isar Hochufer two nights in a row - first with Raphael, then with Sebastian. I'd never been there before. I loved the lock keeper house, the little chapel with the frogs swimming in the basin and the seemingly orthodox paintings; I discovered a sizeable garden gnome collection and a nest swing at the playground. Raphael gave me very late Christmas presents (two books and a tasting box of bean daals); and with Sebastian I ended up at FLEX.

Voice training. Hitting the high notes I thought I'd lost forever after a few hours.

Raclette and board game night with Margit, Dennis and Frank. Playing Beatsaber and an exit game.

Palindrome Day with my favourite number. 22-2-22 <3

A fun evening at Augustiner with some colleagues. Meeting Nick, a former student with whom I played beer pong a few days later.

Lying down in my own bed after a horrible evening and a taxi ride.

Making pancakes with Frank. Sitting on the sofa, reading to each other from a book about 60's song lyrics without any rythm or tune; trying to guess the songs.

#things i love #personal #present perfect #february 2022 #february #2022

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nekumiko · 7 years ago

Text

Been here all along, so why can’t you see?

Fandom: Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS)

Genre: Angst

Rated: T

Words: 2, 746

Series: Guess the Song

Summary: He’s cheer captain, and I am on the bleachers.

They’ve been at it for a while now.

The thing with their quarrels is that no one raises their voice. Discreet glares, softly-delivered accusations, firm grips on waists—no other indication of a fight except for the tension that only the truly sensitive people could feel sizzling.

Taehyung watches her unfreeze as she ends the call, seemingly deliberating if she’d throw her new phone across the room out of frustration.

As if feeling his eyes on her, she turns to look out her window and give him an apologetic smile.

Taehyung immediately retrieves the notebook he has prepared for times like these. He writes a sentence that conveys not even a quarter of the things he wants to say, then holds it up for her to read: You ok?

Her own notebook is already out, so with a playful shake of her head and a now-amused smile, it does not take long for her to write back: Just call me, Tae.

And so he does. “Hey, you.”

The soft atmosphere is gone in an instant as she doesn’t even open with a ‘hello.’ “It was just a joke! I love that he pays close attention to me, but it also makes him overthink everything! He doubles over at every single one of our sunbae’s dad jokes, but with me, he’s just…”

Taehyung pushes up his glasses. “Well, I keep telling you that dark humor does not work on most people.”

She sighs. “Wait until he meets my cousin. He’s coming back from Seoul soon.”

“Hyung is a different case. Jimin’s just worried about his girlfriend proclaiming that she’s okay with dying,” Taehyung replies, mentally congratulating himself for not tripping up. “And he might even blame himself, considering how you two have been lately, right?”

She only falls silent, pulling her knees to her chest.

“But just so you know, I do understand your sentiment.”

At this, she laughs a little. “Stop kissing-ass, Kim Taehyung.”

He chuckles as well, though he makes an excuse of picking up a shirt off the floor to hide his reddening cheeks.

“What are you studying, Tae?”

Deciding to indulge her distraction tactics, he holds up his thick textbook for her to see. “Just doing some advance reading. It’s a Wednesday tomorrow.”

She fake-shudders. “Politics.”

“Yes.”

She smirks. “But you really don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Now you’re doing it.”

“What? Kissing your thick ass?”

“W-what are you—“

“You’re so cute, TaeTae.” She grins at the sight of the blushing boy.

He pouts, making his glasses slide down a bit from the bridge of his nose, and whines out her name. Just then, a violin solo rings through his whole bedroom, making the both of them yelp, and so he dives for his laptop speaker to turn the music down.

“Noooo!”

“Huh?”

“Don’t turn it off. It’s really cool.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen. “You think so?”

“Yep. Jimin listens to pop a lot, and though I don’t exactly hate it, I prefer relaxing music every once in a while.”

A pebble hits her window just then.

She stands up from her bed to check.

And Taehyung knows he’s lost again when she sighs and smiles wryly. “It’s Jimin, huh?”

Keeping her eyes on the visitor, she replies, “Yes.” As she signals to the person to wait, she continues, “I guess he doesn’t want to drag the fight until morning.” Then she runs towards her coat rack to get her cardigan.

“That’s very diligent of him.”

“Yeah, which is good, right?”

“Yeah. Proves he’s serious with you. I just hope you lessen the fights.”

“I hope so too.” She finishes buttoning her cardigan up, so she turns back to her friend. “Hey, Tae.”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for talking to me. You really helped clear my mind up and made me feel lighter. I’m just really sorry that I have to hang up so soon.”

“It’s no problem. Go get him.”

With a final “thanks,” she ends the call and exits her room.

Taehyung, meanwhile, looks out his window to find her hurrying out her back door and over to Jimin. Being the constant witness to how the couple makes up, he’s memorized how it always plays out: their postures would be stiff for a while, but as Jimin unleashes his flurry of apologies, her walls would break down and she would fall into Jimin’s fuzzy-sweater-embrace.

Well, sometimes it’s a muscle shirt, if Jimin is fresh from practice.

Taehyung doesn’t wait for her to nuzzle her boyfriend’s neck or for Jimin to kiss the top of her head. He turns away from the window and flops back onto his bed, playing with the hem of his ratty old t-shirt that could barely keep himself warm.

Does she miss his hugs?

Surely not, he thinks.

Taehyung doesn’t see her until the weekend. He’s on his way to the park to take a relaxing stroll after a few errands, when he suddenly feels a nudge on his shoulder.

Again today, she has abandoned their matching glasses for clear contact lenses. Her hair falls to her shoulders in waves, the result of an hour-long fight with the curling iron. Her cropped top that has a huge cat face printed on its front side makes up for her worn-out jeans.

“Aren’t those the pants you bought last ye—“

“Shut up, Kim Taehyung!” She playfully hits his arm. “No one else is supposed to know that!”

The both of them are not that big on money, so mixing-and-matching has always been their thing to make them look still-presentable. And so, Taehyung laughs, comforted by the thought that she hasn’t let it go, that he’s not the only one left in town who wears old clothes for a day out.

“And why is that even the first thing you’ll say to me? Where are you even looking, huh?” Her eyes squint in suspicion.

“Why do you always make me out to be a pervert?” He lightly pushes her.

“Hey!” She dramatically holds on to a tree they are conveniently passing by. “That hurts!”

“Says the woman who dives on the floor multiple times to receive a 280-gram ball.”

“Hmph. You’re lucky I love you so much.”

He only smiles. Her constant company may have changed since the past year, but she never did. They still walk in sync, still talk endlessly, still laugh over the simplest things. This is how it’s all supposed to be.

Now sitting on a park bench, he watches her laugh, he stares at the smile he could so easily put to her lips. The smile that, even if it’s cliché, he’d dare say could make this whole town ten times brighter. Is it so hard for Jimin to bring it back himself?

Jimin could effortlessly do that long ago as her crush, and even more often when they started going out. But ever since their first big fight a month ago, her smile had turned upside-down, if not thinning out into a tight line. The rare times she does smile for and because of Jimin, it couldn’t even last for a minute.

“Are you supposed to be somewhere? You keep checking on your phone.” Taehyung asks her, giving her a look that screams the unfinished thought: You’ve never done this to me before.

Immediately, she puts her phone back in her pocket, but her hand stays there. “Sorry. Jimin is taking me out today, and this park is the pick-up point.”

So much for thinking that she just went out the same day as him by chance and they are on a spontaneous date. “And?” Taehyung prompts, seeing how she just bit her lip, an anxious mannerism of hers. “Is he late? Again?”

“Don’t be like that. He’s trying his best to come on time. Today’s just not his day. But I bet he’s already around the corner. So, let’s just chill.”

Taehyung stares at her for a long moment, but she is equally determined to keep herself turned away from him, so he sighs. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Taehyung.”

He knows better, of course. And while he wants to keep the mood light for the sake of her date, this has gone on for too long. What is she still doing with a guy like that?

But a flashy red car stops nearby just then, the color prompting everyone to look. Very much like its owner now exiting the door.

Park Jimin in his white shirt, skinny jeans, and boots.

Funny how Taehyung’s dressed almost exactly the same, except he has on his old, yet still sturdy basketball shoes. And nerdy glasses, of course. And also without Jimin’s gold jewelry and gray beanie.

Of course Jimin would still look stunning even when dressed down.

The couple smiles at each other and holds hands as a greeting, before Jimin turns to Taehyung, who stood up as well. “Oh! We’re twinning, Tae!”

Taehyung puts a hand behind his neck. “Wow, yeah.” Then maybe I could replace you today. At that thought, he grins, which could be mistaken as him taking the comment well.

Jimin pats Taehyung’s shoulder. “Thanks for accompanying her, man.” He pouts as he looks at them both. “And I’m so sorry for being late, I swear I—“

“Hey, it’s no problem.” Taehyung smiles as reassuringly as he could. “You guys have fun now.”

Jimin smiles and utters another “thank you.” He proceeds to lead his girlfriend by the hand back to his car. He opens her car door for her and waits for her to get settled, then walks over to the driver’s side. With an excited grin on his face, he even waves Taehyung goodbye before he disappears into the vehicle.

Despite being last year’s new kid who moved from Busan to Daegu, Jimin instantly shot to fame because of his innate sweetness and kindness that makes a lot of hearts burst – Taehyung’s bestfriend included. She had endlessly gushed about his versatility – getting high test scores while being one of the best members of the cheerleading squad – and, of course, his “pretty, pretty face and that hot damn body.” A perfect combo. And how there would be a lot of chances for her to get close to him, for the squad sometimes practice in the school gym, where the girls’ volleyball team frequent.

And she was right. Just months later, news had spread throughout the whole school that the top candidate for cheer captain had asked the female libero out. Two individuals brought together by their complementary hobbies, therefore it would be easy and natural for them to support each other. A cute, perfect couple.

Meanwhile, Taehyung is still stuck in the bleachers. He wouldn’t have minded it if it’s her volleyball match, but nope, he had to be dragged along to watch Jimin’s first cheerleading competition as the new captain.

Taehyung could’ve said no. He could’ve told her that he needs to study. But he also could never really resist her pleading eyes. And keeping her physically within his reach has become more difficult as of late, so, under the pretense of getting bribed by her presence in Taehyung’s marching band parade (at this point, his saxophone could pass for his new bestfriend) the next day, he decides to go. Even if the crowd’s too noisy and rowdy for his liking, even if he has to see her so excited and supportive for a person besides him.

And accompanying her had been the right choice.

Jimin is attractive. Too attractive for his own good. He attracts anyone and everyone, most of them not minding that he’s already taken. It had been the reason for the couple’s big feud. Would it be revived now that she and Taehyung reached backstage and saw a female cheerleader sidling up against Jimin? Hooking arms with him? Touching his chin and pinching his cheeks?

“I’m sorry, Taehyung,” she calmly tells her bestfriend, albeit never straying her gaze away from the scene. “I’ll have to meet you back home.”

And Taehyung knows that once she drives home and finds him waiting at her back door, she would bury her head on one of his shoulders and soak it with her tears as she voices out her pain, all the while holding his hands tight to prevent him from hugging her.

“Then why?” he asks her again as the exact same scene happens once more. “Why are you keeping this up?”

“Because I love him,” she answers the exact same reply. “I love him so damn much, Taehyung.” The only difference tonight is that she straightens back up and wipes her eyes right away. “And I know Jimin loves me too. We’re only a new couple. Things would be better once we graduate, because all these immature people who can’t keep their hands to themselves would be gone, right? We can’t just give up at the first sight of a storm.”

True enough, her boyfriend calls. And the sound of car tires could be heard from the distance.

“If you can’t trust Jimin yet, at least just trust me, please?” She smiles.

The problem with Jimin is that Taehyung can never really hate him.

Jimin loves her just as intensely. He is just a naïve, young teen born with exceptional talent and good looks who legit freezes up whenever someone flirts with him, but who has never chosen fame and opportunities over the girl he loves. He makes time for her, treats every one of her friends as his own, and most of all, rushes over to fix things with her, no matter how often he’d had to do that lately.

A perfect couple isn’t measured by stereotypes or fairytale concepts. She and Jimin are a perfect couple, because young as they are, they take each other seriously – they continue to get to know and understand each other, they learn to forgive and adapt, they dream of a future together.

“Okay,” Taehyung replies, hands twitching from being forbidden to touch her like he used to.

Taehyung had tried. He had tried hard, before and after Jimin came along. He knows he could do everything Jimin could do for her, surely even more. He is ready to fight. But what’s the point of waging war if it’s been a losing battle from the start?

Kim Taehyung used to live two blocks away, in the busier side of town, where no one would be suspicious about a car pulling up near his house in the middle of the night. She would call him, and he would help her sneak up to his room. Taehyung is a friend who would tell her that she’s not as terrible as she thinks she is. Someone who makes her cry only because he made her laugh too hard. Someone who could quiet her self-deprecating thoughts down with the songs she never named as her favorite, but Taehyung had knowingly downloaded in his phone.

Back then, he had been free to hug her as tight as he could. He could hold her close as she talked about her plans of traveling around the world, of her schemes to be internet-famous, of future recipes she wants to try.

And whenever she would finish talking, she’d look up to regard his reaction, and the close distance between their faces wouldn’t be forbidden.

Taehyung should’ve kissed her. Taehyung should’ve told her that she could fulfill all those dreams together with him, because despite their differences in attitude, in social standing, and in interests, they meet halfway, and he could keep doing so because he genuinely likes to. Taehyung should’ve said that they just plainly fit. Taehyung should’ve put his thoughts into words: I think you belong with me.

But he didn’t.

Because for all those times he had stared deep into her eyes, he found that hers never held affection of the same kind as his own.

She belongs with him, in a way the best of friends are brought together. If it weren’t for Taehyung, she would’ve given up on life long ago. If it weren’t for her, life would be dull for Taehyung. Platonic soulmates, that’s what they are. That’s what they could only be.

So with a sad smile, Taehyung walks past her, and she turns towards the street. The back door of his house closes moments before Jimin’s car arrives. Taehyung has always been attuned to the couple’s hushed conversations, but tonight, he just can’t hear anything else over his sobs.

Hint: A Taylor Swift song from the Fearless album.

#taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #bts fanfic #bangtan fanfic #high school au #nerd kim taehyung #cheerleader park jimin #possibly unrequited love #mentions of self-deprecation #two other members are mentioned if you squint #guess the song #nekumiko's guess the song #nekumiko

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