#i have strong soft skills but i think. i need more hard skills | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rizzanon · 16 days ago

Text

Ages and background info

m.list

Current timeline:

Bruce - 42

Dick - 25

Jason - 20

Cassandra - 20

Tim - 17

regressed!reader - 16

Damian - 11

Alfred - 64

Barbara - 28

Stephanie - 18

Duke - 15

sadly Duke won’t be making an appearance anytime soon because I think he only comes around in the timeline when reader is like 17/18¿? 😔

Background info (Alfred, Bruce, Dick, Barbara, Jason centered)

You don’t know who your mother is. You were left at the doorstep of Wayne Manor the moment you were born. (don’t ask how she managed to get through Wayne Manor’s cutting edge and state-of-the-art security system..) Bruce took you in and became your parent after getting a paternity test that proved that he is your father. At this time, it was Dick’s first year of being Robin.

You’d be initially taken care of by Alfred during your early years. When Bruce was busy fighting crime or with board meetings at Wayne Enterprises, it was Alfred who rocked you to sleep, tended to your needs, taught you how to read and draw. His soft and steady preference was reader’s anchor in that big, lonely manor.

Growing up, you constantly heard about your father’s brilliance—Bruce Wayne, the untouchable billionaire philanthropist, praised for his endless contributions to Gotham. The public’s expectations for you, his daughter, were impossibly high, and your every achievement was either dismissed as trivial or compared to his legendary feats.

You worked tirelessly to prove yourself worthy of the Wayne name, pouring everything into becoming the perfect daughter. But no matter how hard you tried, there were always people who’d be better than you in certain aspects, you can’t always win, can’t always get the top place. And that was the only thing the public focused on.

It hurt, but you buried the pain, telling yourself to try harder. Because that’s what it meant to be a Wayne—always striving, even when it felt like no one cared. You hoped till the very end that one day, your achievements would actually mean something to your family. To your father.

And mind you, this was before you found out your father was the Batman. And when you did, that’s when you changed trajectories and tried becoming a vigilante just like your father, like your siblings. You took up the mantle of Batgirl at 13, you trained hard, trying to hone your skills. But you weren’t meant for this life of crimefighting. You were always sidelined, and at every moment, it felt like your family was waiting for you to fail badly, so that they’d have a reason to prevent you from picking up the mask ever again. You could never be good enough, strong enough like your family. But you still pushed through, tried to prove yourself, and that was ultimately the cause of your demise.

When Dick was still in his pre-teens, I would think that he liked the idea of having a baby sister. Whenever he wasn’t off at school or out being Robin, he’d always come and play with you. But as he grew older, his teenage years, Dick would spent less and less time around the manor, and more time with his friends and the Teen Titans. He’d be consumed more and more by his missions and bonds with his teammates.

At first, you didn’t mind of course. He was your big brother. He always promised to make it up to you, he’d always promise to come back. But as the days stretched into weeks, and then months, his time spent with her became shorter, and his attention became more divided. He still loved you of course—he always tried making that clear—but his life was no longer centered around the manor, around Gotham. And by extension, that meant you too.

But that changes when you find out about your family being vigilantes. You’d feel betrayed at first upon finding out, especially because they hid this from you for so long, and if you hadn’t found out when you did, you doubt they’d even tell you.

And that makes you want to prove yourself to the family, and that’s what makes you pick up the mask and become a vigilante as well. Dick was definitely against this, and that’s what initially causes your relationship to strain with him. After all, this was when Jason had just died not too long ago. But you were adamant. With that, he did try to train you for a bit, but he ultimately ended up focusing more on Tim, who was the next Robin, and Bludhaven. He “left” you to figure out the ropes of this yourself. He was sure that Bruce or Barbara would train you.

This widens the gap between you and Dick, and at first, you ruled it off as him gaining control of his life and trying to figure out what he plans to do with his responsibilities. But then as the years go by, you notice the blatant distinction between the way he acts around you versus your other siblings.

He kept his distance from you, his interactions were friendly, but always brief. He didn’t exactly linger to check on you or talk to you after patrols. At first, you thought it was Jason’s death that was making him distant, that he was just coping in his own way. But as time went on, it felt like he didn’t see you as worth the effort. Or maybe he just thought you were fine. When he did make plans with you, most of the time, it’d get postponed, or it would slip his mind. He never really thought it was a big deal, and what made things worse was that you never pointed it out as well.

You didn’t want to confront him about this. Maybe you were just afraid to break that loose strands that was holding your relationship with him. Your bond with him. Or maybe you did not want to admit that the bond was basically non-existent.

Whereas Dick remained blissfully unaware of the way he’s treating you. Did he notice that he doesn’t spend as much time with you as he does with the others? Maybe. But did he choose to do anything about that? Not really.

Maybe one day he’ll come to realise the consequences of his actions. That maybe, he wasn’t the best big brother he could be for everyone. Dick Grayson was a man who cared about many things, a man who wore his heart on his sleeve. He was fiercely loyal, protective, and deeply committed to the people he loved—whether it was his adoptive family, his friends, or the people of Gotham. But that didn’t include you.

Dick’s commitment to his own life and responsibilities, both as Nightwing and as a person, pulled him further away from you. He was no longer the older brother who would spend hours with you, teaching you how to be better, how to be a hero. Instead, he was often wrapped up in his own struggles—focusing on Bludhaven, or dealing with the aftermath of Jason’s death. Even when he did offer advice or training, it always felt half-hearted, like he was only doing it because he had to, not because he wanted to.

There were times when you did try to approach him, to bridge the gap that had grown between you two. You wanted to confide in him, to seek his guidance and maybe find the comfort you desperately needed. But every time you tried, it was like talking to a wall. He was distant, distracted, and no matter how much you tried to show him how much you were struggling, he never seemed to truly see you.

The bitterness began to grow, and with it, resentment. Why didn’t he care about you like he used to? Why was it so easy for him to focus on everyone else while you fell to the wayside? It hurt more than you wanted to admit, especially because you still looked up to him, still wanted to be close to him the way you had when you were younger. But now, as the years went on, you realized that maybe the bond you once had was slipping away for good.

He was still the person you wanted to be, but in a way, he had moved on from you. And as much as you hated to admit it, it was easier to hide behind the mask and do things on your own. Because at least then, you wouldn’t have to face the painful truth: Dick Grayson, the brother you looked up to so much, no longer had time for you.

As for Bruce, I don’t want to make it seem like he didn’t care about you. Bruce loves his children, and I don’t want to take that trait away from him. But at the same time, you have to admit that he’s quite emotionally unavailable. From the moment you were brought into his life, Bruce is terrified. He doesn’t know if he can be a good father to raise you, especially with his line of work. And it’s not like you were like Dick. Dick was a growing boy, you were just a baby. Completely dependent on him. You were so and fragile in his arms, and he thinks you’d break if he held you any tighter.

Bruce wanted to love you the way a father should, but love didn’t come easily to him—not in the way most people understood it. His life was a constant battle, filled with shadows and danger, and the idea of bringing a child into that world felt wrong. He couldn’t protect you the way he wanted, not with Gotham always demanding more of him.

So, instead of letting himself get too close, Bruce focused on what he could control: providing for you. He made sure you had the best of everything—your education, your safety, and most importantly, Alfred.

In truth, Alfred did most of the parenting. Bruce rationalized that it was for your own good. Alfred was patient, kind, and steady in ways Bruce felt he could never be. Alfred would shield you from the darkness of the world Bruce inhabited. But deep down, Bruce knew the truth: he was keeping himself at arm’s length because he was terrified of failing you.

But with him keeping you at an arm’s length all the time, Bruce is unaware of the repercussions of his actions. That in a way, he was in fact failing you. Just, not in the way he thinks. He doesn’t necessarily realise how much of your life he’s missing. Sure, he knows he misses out on some of your events, but he tries to make up for it by gifting you more toys and clothes.

Though, that could only work for so long. By the time you were in your pre-teens, you needed more than just trivial gifts.

You needed your father.

But Bruce couldn’t see that. He never did. He only just checked in on your well-being through Alfred. And everytime Alfred tries to tell him about how you needed him in your life more, Bruce always ends up brushing it aside, claiming that you only just need Alfred.

And then comes Jason’s death. That puts a huge hole in Bruce’s heart. The death of his son is something that will haunt him forever. He vows to never fail like that again, not with anyone else he cared about. This was the whole reason why he kept his vigilante life in the dark from you. But you found out anyways. And when you did, you wanted to follow in his footsteps.

That was the last thing he wanted you to do. He tried to dissuade you from this path, but you were determined. Stubbornness was the one trait you did share with him. And eventually, he relented.

He always assigned you cases that he thought was “safe”. Cases that he knew you could handle. But everytime, you demanded more, and each time, Bruce always said no. You were his daughter, he couldn’t risk putting you in dangerous situations. He knew what you can or can’t handle. And unfortunately, that did not change over the years. He was fixated on the very fact that you weren’t cut out for this life of crime-fighting. And you never will be.

Which is why he only watches from afar, the gap between you and your father growing too far apart for any of you to try and bridge it. He only gets updates about you from Alfred, and even that was rarely asked about. And eventually, you just fade into the background, into the shadows of the family.

As for Jason, I believe there would be two parts for him. Before his death, when he was first brought into the family by Bruce, he was this small, energetic boy who had a certain sass to him. He was only 4 years older than you, and that allowed you to build a fairly close bond with him. That is, before he suddenly becomes “busy” with other stuff. Though he spent lesser time with you, he always did try and check in with you when he could. You two always read together in the library, he’d tell you all sorts of stories about Crime Alley.

But that all changed when he died. Jason’s death left a void in everyone, including you. You didn’t understand why he died, what caused his death, and you were literally heartbroken. You saw how his death destroyed your family, and you tried desperately to fix it. But nothing ever worked. Which is why you shifted your grief towards your studies, trying to make sure that you could be the perfect daughter that could fill the emptiness Jason left behind. But nothing worked. You wanted to heal, wanted to help your family move forward, but without their support, it felt impossible.

When you take up the mantle of Batgirl, part of the reason is because you wanted to honour what Jason did. His time as Robin. You thought that maybe he’d be proud of you, for stepping up and doing this. And maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to become half the hero he was.

But no, Jason was far from proud. And you only know that once he is revealed to be Red Hood years later. Jason is furious. His fury cuts deeper than you expected, not just at the fact that you’ve taken up the mantle of Batgirl, but because of the underlying betrayal he feels.

He looks at you, his younger sister, the one who was supposed to be protected, and sees someone who is willingly stepping into the very nightmare he couldn’t escape. The life that broke him, the endless cycle of violence and pain, and the years of grief and rage that had consumed him. He sees you and wonders: Why? Why would you choose this path, knowing what it did to him?

His anger isn’t just about the mantle—it’s about the idea that you’re following in his footsteps, as if you’re willing to become just like him. Worse, you’re doing it without understanding what it costs. He doesn’t want you to end up like him, as someone who can’t find redemption, who is trapped in a life of revenge. He’s already lost so much—first to the Joker, then to Bruce—and now it feels like he’s losing you too. The only family he has left.

But for you, the choice to take up the mantle was about honoring Jason. You didn’t want to replace him. You didn’t want to erase the pain he went through. But as much as you wanted to fight for the family, you couldn’t help but feel like you needed to prove yourself in a way he never had to. Your family was broken, and you thought that maybe, by stepping up, you could fix it. Maybe you could become the hero Jason never got the chance to be.

But that’s not how Jason sees it. He’s angry, and hurt, and feels betrayed—because he knows what you don’t fully understand yet. This life doesn’t fix anything. It destroys. And if you keep going down this path, you’ll end up like him—scarred, alone, and full of rage that will consume you, just like it did him.

The tension between you two becomes unbearable. The sibling bond you once shared is strained beyond repair, and Jason makes it clear that he’ll never accept you as Batgirl. He’s no longer the brother you knew—the one who once taught you how to laugh, how to stand up for yourself. Now, he’s just a stranger, a man whose hatred for the life he was brought into has twisted him into something unrecognizable. And you? You’re just another casualty of it.

No matter how much you try to explain, no matter how much you try to reach him, the gap between you two widens. He’s Red Hood, and you’re Batgirl. The two identities, both born from tragedy, will never be able to coexist peacefully. Every time you suit up, every time you fight to prove yourself, you feel the divide grow stronger. You’ve both chosen your paths, and with that choice, you’ve irreparably lost each other.

For a while, you only ever saw Barbara as the GCPD commissioner’s daughter, Dick’s friend. She had always been around, and was a frequent family friend. You never really understood why she was so deeply tied with your family until you found out the truth.

When you found out that she’d been the first Batgirl, you were amazed, and frankly, you wanted to be just like her. She, who has done so much and fought alongside your family in many battles, who has done so much to protect Gotham. Maybe this was the way for you to get close with your father and older brother. You had to prove yourself through this. That’s what you thought.

Which is why when you approached Barbara one day with the idea of being Batgirl, you expected support, encouragement, maybe even a bit of excitement. After all, she had once worn the cape and fought crime in Gotham’s shadows. But no, apparently you were getting in over your head.

Barbara’s face hardened the moment you mentioned the mantle. Her mantle. She immediately refused, telling you that it was dangerous. At first, you thought she was being protective. Jason had died not too long ago doing this, so maybe that’s why. Which is why you relented. But as she continued, you saw the weight of her words—the deep, painful truth that came from experience.

She recounted her time as Batgirl, her fight against the criminals of Gotham, and how the Joker had shattered her body and soul in a way that no physical injury could ever heal. She spoke of the night she was shot, of how she had lost everything—her mobility, her sense of security, and even a part of her identity. It wasn’t just the pain of what happened to her body—it was the mental toll of knowing that every choice she made brought her closer to losing herself.

You were taken aback, shocked by how strongly she felt. Was she really trying to stop you from becoming Batgirl? After everything she had endured, you couldn’t fathom why she wouldn’t want you to follow in her footsteps. But Barbara wasn’t just speaking from a place of worry; she was speaking from experience. She had seen firsthand how dangerous this life was, how it consumed you piece by piece, and how it left scars that would never fade.

But even as you understood her perspective, the desire to prove yourself still burned fiercely inside of you. You wanted to be more than Bruce Wayne’s daughter, more than someone who had to hide in the shadows. You wanted to stand beside your family, to help Gotham in the only way you knew how. You wanted to honour Jason for what he did for Gotham, and continue it for him. Which is why you relented, and eventually, just like everyone else, Barbara gave in. Because she knew couldn’t change your mind no matter what. Which is why she takes you on and helps with your training.

However, just like Bruce, she too only assigned you cases thst she knew you could handle. Even though Barbara had reluctantly agreed to help you become Batgirl, it was clear from the start that she wasn’t going to make it easy on you. She trained you relentlessly, teaching you the ins and outs of combat, tactics, and the stealthy finesse that Gotham’s criminals required. But even in her guidance, you could feel her hesitation. She never pushed you too far, always stopping just short of testing your limits, as though she was holding something back.

She would assign you cases, but they were always ones she knew you could handle—petty thefts, low-level gangs, the type of cases that wouldn’t put you in direct danger, that wouldn’t challenge you too much, and that she could step in and call someone else to take over if things ever went south.

At first, you didn’t mind. You were just glad to be training, to be doing something. But as time went on, the restrictions started to chafe at you. You could see how Barbara’s protective nature was keeping you in a bubble—one that was too small, one that didn’t prepare you for what Gotham truly was. You didn’t want to be stuck fighting the small-time criminals; you wanted to face the real threats, the ones that could change Gotham for the better after being dealt with.

The frustration mounted. Every time she handed you a case, every time she stopped you from pursuing something more dangerous, you felt your desire to prove yourself slipping further and further away. You knew you couldn’t keep doing this forever. Gotham was too big, the stakes too high, and you were capable of so much more. You had to break free from Barbara’s shadow, from her protective grip, and finally prove that you were ready for the challenges that came with being Batgirl—not just in name, but in action. Which is why you started doing more. Did more than you needed to, took one too many unnecessary risks.

But everything shifted when Barbara took in Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown, both taking up the mantle of Batgirl at some point. It stung. The sense of being sidelined was undeniable, and it hurt more than you had expected. Were you really that replaceable? Did you being Batgirl mean nothing?

Barbara’s training shifted with the new additions. She wasn’t the same mentor to you as she had been when you first started. She had become consumed with building Cassandra and Stephanie up, preparing them for the same Gotham streets that had torn her apart. Except, it was obvious that Barbara saw then as more capable, more stronger to take on the streets. More prepared than you’ll ever be. You were no longer her first priority. In fact, you were hardly a priority at all.

The worst part was how Barbara handled it. Instead of talking to you, explaining her choices, she just… distanced herself. There were no more long training sessions, no more subtle encouragement. Your bond, the one that had felt so strong when she first took you in, weakened and thinned, becoming strained and distant. It was as though she had replaced you with them. Maybe she had.

It wasn’t just the feeling of being replaced by two new recruits; it was the complete lack of acknowledgment of everything you had sacrificed, everything you had worked for. You had pushed through every painful night, every bruise, every tear, just to earn your place. But now, it seemed like all that hard work meant nothing. You were left alone in the shadows once again, watching as the people you cared about, the people who had once been your mentors and family, moved on without you.

The rift between you and Barbara widened with each passing day. You tried to hold on to the hope that things would change, that things would go back to how they were before. But deep down, you knew they never would. Barbara had chosen her new proteges—her Batgirls—and you were left to try to make your own way in a family that no longer felt like your own.

And as the years went by, you still held onto that mantle, and Barbara grew more distant. She checked in on you doing patrols and missions as Oracle, but that was that.

Part 2 (Tim, Cassandra, Stephanie, Damian, Duke centered)

lmk your thoughts on this because this has been on my mind for so long <33

taglist (open): @tricksters-maze @dusk-muse @quethekillerqueen @silverklaus @isupportorbitalbombardment @nxdxsworld @vanessa-boo @coffeeaddictxd @moonsbluekingdom @yuya-bubbly @percythebitchwitch @anonymousdisco @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @redsakura101 @what-0-life @idkwhattoputhete @secretyouthcomputer @witch-waycult @allycat4458 | ask to be added <3

(idk why i can’t tag some of y’all, must be your settings i think 😓)

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ponderingmoonlight · 10 months ago

Note

How about gojo when he doesn't realize you're trying to have a serious conversation untill u start crying

"Oh c'mon, you just need something sweet", Gojo purrs and smacks your back in a miserable attempt to cheer you up.

"I feel like I can't do anything right..."

"You're good in looking good I'd say", he jokes around.

You feel horrible. The things you saw today, your mistake almost leading to Megumi's death. Why? Why weren't you fast enough? If Shoko isn't able to stitch him up, if he's left with disabilities or injuries...

All of that, just because you're weak.

"He could have died today...", you mumble, throat getting tight.

"I mean, Shoko spent the whole evening stitching Megs up. Damn, I really need to give her a call now that I think of it..."

You hold your breath, desperately try to stop yourself from crying while Satoru continues to ponder about the nasty things that happened today - because of you.

Of course you are very aware of the fact that you aren't as strong as he is. Depite being a teacher yourself, all of the first year students will surpass your level of skill sooner or later. But still, you are their teacher, it's your responsibility to look out for them, to protect them. And you failed miserably.

"Did you see that hole in his head-"

"I know that I fucked up, okay?", you bark at him so suddenly that Gojo flinches back.

Fuck, now you hate yourself even more. Your eyes start to burn underneath the heavy weight of your guilt, flashbacks of Megumi's lifeless body hunting you down.

"Hey, are you cryin'?"

Out of instinct you jump out of your seat. No, there is no way in hell you'll cry like a baby in front of him, you'll get out of here and ignore him until he eventually forgets about your crucial mistakes.

"Don't run away from me."

Gently, he grabs your shoulder and stops you from opening the door.

"I didn't know you take this so seriously, (y/n). I'm really sorry-"

"Because it is, Satoru! Megumi almost died because of me. I'm his teacher, it's my job to protect him and I failed miserably, I'm a-"

"Stop. Look at me."

He cups your face with his hands, forces you to meet his soft gaze.

"None of this is your fault, okay? You did a great job down there, caring for every single one of them. Yeah, Megumi got hit, but he would be dead if it wasn't for you. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Easy to say when you're the strongest", you mutter, earning a heartfelt laugh from him.

"Only because of your support, sweet cheeks."

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lotussuns · 11 months ago

Text

Just let me do this. G. Satoru

Warnings: shameless smut, penetrative sex, fingering, reader has a pussy, she/her pronouns used, cum play, dirty talk, mostly praise but some degradation as well, some religious undertones? i guess. Some dom/sub undertones

Word Count: 1,5k

Gojo loved playing with your pretty pussy. He loved the texture, the warm and wet feeling on his fingers, he loved the taste, the smell, everything. Most of all though, he loved doing it to satisfy his selfish needs - whether it be after a particularly rough session of fucking, or in the middle of watching a movie, he loved teasing you to the point of tears. He preferred you pliant, soft, needy. Just like you were acting now.

Your body was still shaking after an earth-shattering orgasm, you were trying to catch your breath while Gojo held up a glass of cold water for you.

“Here baby, drink.” He said while bringing it to your lips and soothingly stroking your back. “You did so well for me, baby. Made me feel so good.” He murmured into your damp hair that he brushed back.

You finished your glass in one go, pulling away from him and laying straight on your back to calm the erratic beating of your heart. Fuck did you love him, but Gojo was starting to drive you insane. The marks he left on your body would surely be spotted by your friends tomorrow at the planned get-together, and you’ve had enough of Suguru’s incessant teasing, especially when Satoru was around. Not to mention, you will be walking funny tomorrow if you let your sensible side get lost again and fuck Gojo first thing in the morning. But it was hard thinking clearly while he was on your side, it was as if the spell he cast on you all those years when you met didn’t fade away at all. Not that Gojo’s devotion to you didn’t grow exponentially either.

Your lover’s voice brought you back to earth again, and at first, you didn’t pay enough attention to know what he was saying which caused him to smirk boyishly.

“Did I fuck your brains out, princess? Seems like my dick rearranged your insides so hard I gave you a concussion.” He laughed while manhandling your body into his desired position. You meant to go pee actually, but now it was as good as impossible with how two strong arms circled round your torso and brought your back closer to his muscular chest. God, he was so hot.

“Shut up, don’t piss me off, Toru. I don’t have the energy to kick your ass.” You mumbled ignoring his obscene comments. In response, he started peppering your back with kisses, some small and innocent while others were wet and open-mouthed. That’s Gojo Satoru for you.

His hands started traveling further down your soft tummy, resting on your tights that were still littered with “proof of his uttermost love and devotion.” as he called it. You knew where this was heading immediately after he traced shapes down your soft body, and you didn’t have to wait long until his skilled fingers started playing with your sloppy cunt.

“Satoru.” You said breathlessly, partially hiding your face in the pillows.

In response, one of his hands steadily grabbed your squishy thigh and placed it on his body to give him more access to your needy cunt, securing it there with his hand. “What is it, baby? I just want to play for a little bit.” He whispered into your ear. “You’ll be a good girl and let me, right? You know how I love touching her, just a little bit, okay.” He kissed the shell of your ear.

“She needs to know who she belongs to.” He said before starting his ministrations

Gojo started playfully, not even wanting to get you off, with one finger slowly dipping between your lips. He could feel his warm cum that slowly started to seep back out, even after he fucked it inside you repeatedly. The feelings of your combined releases on his finger made his softened cock twitch and he bit his lip in order to stop the whine that threatened to fall from his lips. He continued tracing his cum soiled fingers up your pussy, mischievously nudging your swollen clit causing you to let out a small moan.

“Good girl.” He praised knowing you got weak in the knees at the pet name. “ I won’t torture you too much this time, I promise, doll.” He said in a hushed tone and you knew fully that he was lying. You could tell by the first letter he was shaping into your overstimulated cunt - G.

After he was satisfied with that, he dipped back into your filled hole and repeated the motion with O, while you were left clenching around nothing. It was incredibly intimate, being claimed that way, with his cum, his name, his touch. And he knew it got you going almost as much as him, he knew you loved it when he took you like this - gently yet with intention.

J was the letter you hated and loved the most. When you felt his skilled fingers slowly move up to your clit to perfectly place the dot on top of it, your whole body shuddered at the direct stimulation. He continued to press on the little nub, tracing small circles into it, not showing an ounce of care for your worn-out body. His movements speed up while he bit and sucked on your neck, losing himself in the feeling and grinding his half-hard cock between your asscheeks.

“Shh, just let it go, baby, let me claim this cunt like she’s begging me to do. She loves being treated like this, like my pretty cumdump.” He praised sweetly. His grip on your thigh tightened and his hips sped up slightly.

“Come on slut. Don’t make it repeat myself. Fucking cum.” He growled into your ear and slapped your clit once before continuing his abuse on your poor button. That was enough to have you gushing, pushing the rest of his cum out of your spent hole while you continued to clench around nothing. Your eyes rolled back into your skull, while your mouth opened slightly into the perfect O shape.

“F-fuck yesss. ” He groaned, biting his lip while looking at you. His cock shot out small droplets of cum, which surprised Gojo, he was expecting to be shooting blanks by now, with how much he came inside you just minutes prior.

“Yes, baby, yess. I’m so proud of you, knew your sensitive pussy would still handle this. I love you, I love you, I love you.” He babbled between kisses while slowing down his movements to help you ride out your orgasm.

“Look what you’re doing to me baby, driving me insane. I can never let go of you, fuck, I cannot live without this, without you by my side. Will kill anyone who ever tries to get between us.” He continued, that last part was a bit uncalled for but Gojo always spoke from his heart after a good nut.

Your blue-eyed prince repeated the movements of his fingers, for the umpteenth time, almost religiously in the way he seemed to worship your cunt like a priest handling the holiest of artifacts. When his fingers met your wet and pulsing entrance he audibly moaned and dipped his finger in to collect your wetness.

“Just one more, princess, one more.” He whispered while kissing you softly in appreciation that you were still letting him do this after your orgasm left you gasping, small tears running down your cheeks.

“Mhm, love you, Toru.” You babbled, so far into subspace not fully understanding what you were saying. Feeling lost in his touch.

He softly pumped his finger thrice for good measure, and finally traced his perfectly manicured finger into the last letter of his last name. He purposefully avoided your clit this time, satisfied with the outcome.

Well partially, he was thinking of eating your pussy out after writing his full name and making you go completely braindead, but he will save it for another time. He was rough on you before, making you finish on his cock so many times both he and you lost count. In his defense, it was impossible to do it any other way, he wanted to devour you whole, show you why he was the closest thing to a god a man could possibly be. He would give you the world if you asked nonchalantly about it, how could he control himself around you in any way? With a goddess like you by his side.

“I’m done now, sweetheart. Thank you so much.” He said as he gently moved you on the bed and kissed the valley between your breasts, his crystal eyes following every move of your chest to make sure you were okay. “Let’s get you cleaned up, you need to pee.” He stated before picking your limp body in his strong embrace.

You left a few kisses on his damp chest, loving the salty taste on your lips. “Yes, I would like that. I love you so much.” You mumbled with your eyes closed, still not fully out of your headspace, knowing he would take care of you like he always does.

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x reader smut #gojo smut #gojo satoru smut #jjk smut

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uchihaharlot · 1 year ago

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Oooh! Thirsty requests? Don’t mind if I do 🤭

I love the Uchiha men! (Duh) So, what is their favorite sex position that really does it for them, really gets them going and busting the fastest and hardest? 👀💥

Ok what the fuck, this is hawt and it took me mere seconds to formulate exactly which positions the boys instinctively bust.

NSFW; afab; holy fuck this is hot and I haven’t even drafted it 🚨:

Madara: Riding him for the first time.

• This man’s sole purpose is to spread his seed like peanut butter, preferably within his wife’s spongey wet cunt.

• Top/Bottom is never an option for debate, she’s either taken by surprise bent over something forward or underneath him. Deliciously tormented with his rough and abrasive thrusts. Madara does not allow such luxury in the way of her desires. Even if she is endlessly pleased, something is missing.

• If his wife manages, and it’s a risk. To get on top of him…Madara won’t even know how to cope with the shift in power. He is so unpredictable as it is, the urge to maneuver her submissive to him is strong, but falters.

• Seeing her enjoy him this way, like actually enjoy it more than usual…is provocative and endearing. Though sex is usually overstimulating with him — copious amounts of hours in bed laid to the mating press. She had back sores once, but those were always soothed. He’s not a complete hooligan.

• But he is a heathen, so in this regard Madara definitely takes the opportunity to actually acknowledge her body’s many appealing angles. Differences on her soft supple skin are highlighted in the dimly lit bedroom. They reflect and make his head spin, red orbs elicit for the first time and she’s under the scope of his sharingan. It’s new and invigorating and one touch of a soft breast with rough hands makes her moan out his name for the first time ever. Both of them are deliriously overcome with the slightest touch.

• Oops. He shoots his shot too soon after hearing his name. 🫥 He wants to disappear in that moment, Madara can’t cope…sensing a pattern here? But it was so good, and she is undeniably beautiful. Purebred Uchiha, like him. Maybe if he was more….sensual and less of a brute? She would garner this reaction next time?

• This brings me to a bonus point with Madara, lol. The second position he comes fast would undoubtedly be his favorite, damn his wife for having a voice that cradles soft moans onto his left ear, for the second time he comes fast. Barely three minutes in.

Obito: Making out while sitting in his lap.

• 🫠 I don’t want to embarrass this man, but my fucking head just — cannot not go there. Sweet summer child thought that giving head was making out the first time he heard the phrase (at 14 no less).

• So he won’t tell her he is a grown ass virgin, but he really doesn’t need to. Obito acts with hesitation below that of a wet blanket when alone with his s/o. Shaky here and there, the surprised gasps he makes when her lips feather kisses like spring rain to his lips. Obito is besotted. Wholeheartedly leaking like a faucet in his slacks.

• I want to give this man the benefit I really do, finding it hard to keep it….yea no. They’re not even at that point of business when Obito let out stifled sound between a moan and low grunt. All she did was grind into his throbbing cock. 🫡 Ships sunk, and like with most; the captain goes down too.

• This woman, bless her heart as well. Has the patience of a god. She will make some cute pun about needing to check his briefs more thoroughly and Obito is so fucking flustered; ommggg. It’s unfortunate that he’s picked up on coping skills from Madara. He too, wants to hide.

• Divine, Obito thinks this of her. Taking his sad floppy manhood, which is covered in his premature cum as he watches her slurp him in his mouth. Making some pun about how wasteful but that she forgives him if he makes up for it.

• Will suck until he is hard again, which is not even thirty seconds. Obito also, like most Uchiha men, is subjected to his eyes. Red spun pearls capture her gaze as she sits in his lap on the recliner. This has always been a dream! It’s happening!

• Then it isn’t, no. Not really. Not again! His s/o is not even the slightest bit surprised when Obito starts to pulse within her. She’s barely sunk her self silly on his fat cock.

• ‘It’s ok, Obi. Just means you’re really excited for me.’ Hnngggg, that didn’t help and neither did the slow up and down motions or her hips rolling. Obito couldn’t decide if he was cumming — maybe dying? He was moaning sure, in her mouth and goddamn she was filthy in that moment. ‘Good boy…every drop.’

• No question about it, he was already finishing before the words left her lips to his in a searing kiss.

Shisui: On her stomach from behind.

• Brb. Internally and externally exploding at this idea. Shisui is so sweet, sensual with his partner(s). The king of making any woman wet his bed like a geyser.

• Definitely prefers eye contact positions — in his lap is a close second to finishing first. Where he can grip your hips and thighs, but if there is no time to spare. Oh, he knows his own defeat and how to unleash it.

• The second this woman is flat on her stomach, Shisui eagerly slips between her swollen folds. He’s got her legs shut and cages her entire body with his muscular frame. Having mercilessly devoured her like a five star Michelin three course meal prior, she’s beyond the realms of pleasure. This is the promise land.

• This Uchiha, too, transcends the first drag in and out of her warmth. So slick, cramped. A warm hug for his cock. Shisui would think it’s a game to hold it in, but that won’t be possible.

• As if the confines of her weeping cunt weren’t enough, it’s the sight that he dials in at and shamelessly data bases to his core memory. The image alone of watching his cock emerge just to disappear over and over again sends Shisui spiraling — whimpering usually.

• Shisui is a man of precision, ok? Not in this position though. He’ll get sloppy and plant an assortment of kisses and light nips to her back and shoulders just as he spurts the last remaining drops of Uchiha essence inside her.

• Lastly, when he slips out — still half cocked, Shisui doesn’t rock anything less than a semi. He will place his thumbs on either ass cheek, speading them open to see his cum leak out her gorgeous sanctuary he makes home to his seed.

Itachi: Front spooning her in the morning.

• Usually I write Itachi on the side of inexperienced and new. Not today; this man can be deplorable in bed and has some rather… nifty kinks. Though today we will focus on what makes Uchiha Itachi a ten second Tom.

• Also an Uchiha who adores eye contact. It’s a must. Every aspect of her body is unique and imprinted to his front temporal lobe. Some of it mundane, majority of it not.

• Itachi is an early bird (heh). So is she, and with that goes the saying — the early bird gets the worm. Or gives it. Seeing her in the throes of sleep, soft, serene and just down right beautiful. He’s down bad, rocking that good ole’ Hashirama hard as a rock morning wood. Itachi will think he’s going to make an everlasting memory, but the second his s/o opens her eyes he’s just so desperate.

• Yutakas are are simply one of the best articles of clothing. Comfortable, stylish and elegant — with a side of easy access. Itachi makes haste to disrobe them, while making to push her on her back…

• While his s/o all on board for being his pillow princess. This morning she hikes a leg over his hip and gives him a kiss so severely wanton, Itachi slips through drenched folds and gently rocks into her. Cradling her closer to his chest.

• More intimate than intimate, Itachi usually strides for ‘slow and steady’ for an everlasting experience. Today she’s insatiable. The whimper his name tumbles through subsequently has Itachi rutting harder and faster. Once those delicate muscles wrapped around his cock start sucking him in and swallowing him does he realize it’s only been about two minutes.

• Two minutes is not enough, but if she’s coming, so is he. An incredible group effort by them both. Itachi pants in her ear as their respective orgasms feed pleasure to one another.

#madara uchiha #uchiha madara #madara smut #madara headcanons #obito uchiha #uchiha obito #obito smut #obito headcanons #shisui uchiha #uchiha shisui #shisui smut #shisui headcanons #itachi uchiha #uchiha itachi #itachi smut #itachi headcanons

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youlikefanficdontyousquidward · 3 months ago

Text

By moonlight

Adar x Fem!Elf!Reader

Part one, two Three- My heart

Summary: Adar steals moments from his Sunset before heading to battle.

His Andúnë remained, her soft light illuminating the depths of Adar's heart. She stayed far from the tunnels edge, away from the men who swore their loyalty. He missed her warmth when there and found himself often trudging through the uneven mud to the children's tents.

This day she lay on their soft bedding. Spread like he had been on the breaking wheel. But there was no pain to be had here. Instead each limb had one or more Uruklings curled around them. Atop her breast lay the baby she'd saved, drooling into her clavicle. He smiled gently down at them, leaving her to rest.

He walked with her when he could. Into the sun to watch over her while she gathered herbs. He knew he didn't need to, that the Uruk scouts in the trees would've protected her. Still the stolen moments were irresistible to him. Her hair catching the light, her laughing with the children. Sweet as bird song. He longed for her to look softly at him. To bend her lips into that perfect smile just for him.

It was a foolish dream. He was a broken and twisted thing. She was not bound to him and never would be. Her light was meant for someone better.

...

You felt Adar's presence for a moment before that shadow passed. You couldn't move, so covered in the Uruklings as you were. It was warm, suffocating even but pleasant. They all slept in a pile together when their parents were gone. It seemed they felt the cold more keenly than their mothers.

Uruk women were hard working. None would dare put in less than their men. A deserved pride, you saw how strong they were yourself. You admired them greatly. You'd been a passive thing in your home. Never given the same opportunity for greatness as your male kin. Your small skill with a sword had been behind your father's back.

Glüg's mate, Vusha, and other pregnant women stayed with the children and the wounded. Still there were no idle hands here. They worked mending and healing alongside the children. Building supports and covers if their stomachs weren't too swollen. Vusha swiped the tents flap open. She chased the little ones off, with a bark of laughter and brought you out to the tunnels beyond for the day.

Vusha was a brash, vulgar tongued women and you liked her greatly. Often her jokes and stories brought a fierce blush to your ears. Of late she'd focused much of her energy on your own lack of relationship experience.

"Far too pretty a thing not to get a little messy in your bed roll." She said with a wink. You'd buried your face behind the tunic you'd been sewing.

"What about the men-folk. Not too bad to your eye I'd imagine." She nodded to the group beyond.

You followed her eye to the men. They came from a village that Adar had taken a day ago. Most were barely out of their childhood and the ones that were, tended towards harsh and unfriendly. One looked to you both with a curled lip.

"I think not." You said, drawing your eye to the baby. He was large now, able to toddle on fat little legs between you and the other children.

"Suit yourself." She huffed and you breathed a sigh of relief. "You know Glüg's brothers' meant to be a good ride?"

When night fell you felt a shadow pass by the tents. A familiar shiver ran up your spine and you fought the smile threatening to split your face.

"Andúnë." Adar's gravely voice spoke. You turned still crouched by the children. He bowed his head to you his bare hand over his heart. He did this each time and still it made your heart flutter. He greeted you so softly, like you were a Lady and not a lowly Elleth in the muck.

"How are they." Adar spoke, turning to the tent and away from your gaze. You blinked, shifting your own too. You hadn't realized how intensely your stare must have been. You cursed how awkward you'd become in front of him now.

"Well, my Lord. The baby has a tooth now." You smiled, rubbing your ankle absent mindlessly.

Adar turned back to you, his brow furrowed a moment before he reached his hand to you. You savored the roughness of his skin against your own.

"Ah yes, fret not." He rasped as you stood. His hand left yours cold. "They set one another right in time."

You watched where he did. The baby toddling, falling and crawling quick after giggling children.

"Their skin is tough, yours however..." Adar turned back to you. You pulled your lips tight, he had broken skin but it was healing well. Likely to scar however given your resources.

"I am fine Lord Adar." You said.

"If you won't tell me truthfully, I'll check myself." He hummed.

You didn't respond right away. His gauntlet shifted on his swords pommel and Adar dropped to his knee. You frowned, his hand touching the torn edge of your dress. Adar's rough fingers barely touched your ankle when your mind returned to you. You shrieked, skipping back as your heard the children laugh. Staring back at Adar's wide eyes you flustered.

"I'm fine! I swear!" You urged.

"Are you in pain?" Adar's rough voice spoke gravely. Your heart thundered in your chest. His eyes darkened, baring into your own as he stood.

"No! No, no. I just." You fumbled, fingers tightening on your dress as he approached. The room felt silent as you cast your eyes from his. That soft meadow green that felt like it could swallow you whole. He paused, before you saw him bow in your peripherals.

"Please, forgive me." He whispered. "I didn't mean to... impose."

"Oh, please my Lord rise." You gasped, placing a hand to his armored shoulder. "I'm well, everything is well."

He rose, your hand slipping from where it had rested on his chest plate. You felt your heart in your throat, your face was so hot. There was tightness in your chest that felt for all the world like it could crush you. Your eyes left his, traveling over his scared skin. Your finger tips buzzed, a desire so deep in your soul to reach out. Too feel him beneath your hand, beneath you.

A sudden giggling shout broke what spell had been cast on you. Adar too stiffened his face turning to the baby as his nails dug into your skirts. Your face burned as you stooped to him, lifting him up to your chest.

"I must go." Adar rasped, rushing out before you could speak a word.

...

There was much at hand. The last of the Southlanders gathered in the Eleven watch tower. The hilt among them, the key to his Uruk's home. Adar couldn't let his mind wander, couldn't imagine her flushed face, the heat of her skin on his fingers.

He gripped the pommel of his sword tighter in his hand. Even through his gauntlet he could feel the spiked end digging in. The sharp bite to his skin grounded him in the moment.

He laid out the plan ahead to his most fearsome warriors. Glüg had been disappointment not to be amongst them. Adar hadn't thought less of him as a fighter, he merely wished he would stay to look after the others. He was sure at least his mate would be appreciative of his task and there were few others he trusted his Andúnë to.

He wished to see her. To ensure she was well, to see if he was truly forgiven for his trespass. Adar cursed himself. It was a foolish act, a bold move he'd intended as playful fueled by a fear she was actually injured.

Adar also wished to look upon her just in case. If he were to fall this night, he wished to do so with her face in his minds eye. He was so certain she held no real fondness for him but he swore he saw something. Just a glimpse when their eyes met. A flicker that could be fanned if it weren't for his ruined form. Her eyes had moved to his scars and he'd bit back hope.

Instead Adar dug his fist into the dirt. Softly planting seeds and covering them with care. Tomorrow his children would have a home.

...

You waited with the children, with the pregnant. You felt an anger rising in you, burning behind your eyes. How could he leave without saying anything? Without giving you a chance to raise a sword. You didn't relish the idea of taking the villages lives but to protect what you had?

"You named him yet?" Glüg spoke from your side. He sat on the hill with you, looking towards the tower.

"Gurbaur. Though it feels wrong for it to be my choice." You spoke softly. He rested in your arms, his scars paler and pinker than the ashy complexion of his skin. They'd shift with age, maybe it wouldn't cover so much of his face then.

"He's yours now. Far as any are concerned. Gurbaur? Vusha give you that one?" Glüg asked.

"She's been teaching me yes and she said it meant stone son. Thought he deserved a strong one after all he's survived." You smiled despite yourself.

"You see far too right?" Glüg asked again.

"Beyond the horizon if I like." You answered. Elven eyes were keen and yours were focused on the village now.

"Do you see him." Glüg said, leaning forward to try and look himself.

"The fire in the village there..." You pointed, sure he could see the glow at least. "Lord Adar is there, he walks towards a large building at the center."

You watched still as the sun began to rise. Glüg wordlessly took the your Gurbaur before the sun could reach him. You watched still as a shadow of a fear began to grow in your mind. Something was wrong, something was very wrong.

...

Adar sat in the barn, bloodied but alive. The chains kept him to the post, kept his wrists together. Outside his children huddled under cover, guarded by the men from the sea.

If that man was true to his oath, if he wouldn't be discovered, it wouldn't be long now. He was far closer than he'd imagined, not nearly in a safe path. From what he'd read the mountain's peak would explode. Rock and fire would rain upon the land and a great smoke would blot the sun for millenniums to come. He closed his eyes, Adar could rest. His work was almost done now.

He didn't do so for long. There was a creak on the boards above him, the hayloft. Some man to slit his throat no doubt, taking a hidden entrance to do the deed. He prepared to counter, to kick out their legs. He would see his children's new home, this would not be robbed by the likes of them.

"Adar...?" A soft voice called. Sweet and filled with a fear that cut through him.

He opened his eyes. Past the rays of sun and dust floating in the air. She was here, his heart, Andúnë. Perhaps his wounds had been worse than he'd thought. That something beyond had taken pity on him and sent this vision to guide him into the darkness beyond. His eyes slipped closed, ready for her to take him away.

"Adar... zo zemar. Come back to me." Her voice grew closer, a soft warmth encompassing his cheek.

"My heart, I am with you." Adar rasped in return to her black speech. The apparition was so real, so soft. Even past the horse he could smell her, her scent so close it had him dizzy.

Adar opened his eyes again. She was knelt between his legs, her face close and tight in concern. Against his chains Adar lifted his hand to her, brushing his knuckles against her temple and down her cheek. Her face broke into an uneven smile, real and more beautiful than any sunset. Tears like stars glistening on her lashes.

"How are you here?" Adar breathed. She was real, solid in his vision. She wore a soldiers cloak, stolen and pulled over her ears and an had a hatchet in hand.

"I saw from the hill. I cannot leave you here. Oh what have they done to you." She fretted over him. Her hand came away from his cheek to run across the river patterns on his armor.

"Nothing that cannot be mended but..." Adar paused. Your face turned to the sound, a great cracking and rumble. He saw your face pale, fear setting in as the rumbling grew near. You took your hatchet to the metal, swinging down at the chain that bound him. Adar didn't think you had it in you but your strike was strong and true. It hit a weak point and broke away.

"Lay with me, listen." Adar sighed. He shifted to the wooden boards, ear pressed and hearing the water rush bellow. You followed, facing him as you did so. He saw your brow furrow at the sound, laying so close to him. He felt your breath against his cheek and smiled.

"Come, we must move." He said. Again you followed him, hands at his elbows to brace him as he stood. He didn't need your support but he let your hands grasp him. Let an arm wind around his middle and take his injured hand in your own.

Adar let you guide him to the doors, you moved ahead pulling with a grunt to open them for him. Chaos sounded, a clamor of soldiers rushing past not even paying either of you any mind. Adar pulled you back to him, a hand wrapping around your arm.

Your eyes were far, fixed on the mountain. A great clap sounded out, louder than any thunder. A bright light erupted with it and a force rushed out. Adar turned then, taking the blast to his back with you pressed now against his chest. You yelped but covered your mouth quickly, looking up to him through your eyelashes.

Adar kept his arms around you, turning back to the great mountain as it spewed ash and rock into the sky. His children cheered and yelled, breaking free and running to him. Great rocks, flaming and bigger than houses soared through the skies.

"What... what is this." You whispered.

"Home." Adar answered.

#adar x reader #adar fanfic #the rings of power imagine #my fics

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hazelira · 10 days ago

Text

one more day of you

warnings: terminal illness, emotional content, death themes

The morning light falls softly through the curtains, painting golden stripes across your shared bed. You wake to Jake's quiet breathing, his chest rising and falling rhythmically beneath your head. His arms are around you—warm, familiar, but trembling slightly. It’s in those little things now, how his hands sometimes shake, or his voice falters when he speaks. You’ve both known this was coming.

Leptomeningeal disease, causing symptoms like headaches, nausea, confusion, or difficulty moving. It often occurs in advanced stages of cancer and can be challenging to treat. You’d read the word once on your chart, printed cleanly on crisp white paper like it wasn’t the thing that would take you away. The cancer had spread to the leptomeninges—the thin, delicate layers of tissue protecting your brain and spinal cord. Jake hates the word because it feels clinical and sterile, too detached for something devastating. He only calls it “the sickness.”

You know this day will be your last good one. The doctors said so. “Make the most of it,” one had said gently, as if making the most of dying is something people could ever do.

You feel his lips press into your hair as he whispers, “You’re awake.”

“I’m awake,” you echo softly.

Neither of you moves for a moment. You close your eyes and memorize this—his heartbeat in your ear, the feel of his fingers tracing small circles against your back. How can a person possibly capture something so fleeting?

“We’re going out today,” Jake says finally, his voice still rough from sleep.

“I don’t think I can,” you admit, though part of you wishes you could. Your limbs are heavy these days, weighted with fatigue that no nap can cure.

“You can,” he insists gently. “I’ll help you. I’ll carry you if I have to.”

His voice barely cracks on that last part, but you pretend not to notice. You know he’s been trying so hard to be strong. Strong for you. Strong for himself.

He helps you get ready. There’s no rush, no urgency—he combs your hair carefully, pulling the strands gently through the brush as if you’re fragile glass. Your body is fragile now. You’ve felt it changing. Some days, the headaches come fast, pulsing deep and low, while your vision dims at the edges. Other times, your legs fail, nerves tangled like the frayed ends of an old rope. You’ve fallen a few times, and Heeseung has always caught you before you could hit the ground.

Today, though, you feel steady enough for him.

You spend the day by the lake.

It’s your favourite spot—the one where the water looks almost endless, where the ripples stretch toward the horizon like hands reaching for something beyond sight. You sit together on a blanket, your back resting against his chest while he hums softly into your ear.

“Jake?”

“Hmm?”

“What song is that?”

He pauses, the vibrations of his hum fading. “One I made up. I don’t know... it’s just for you, I guess.”

“You should write it down,” you tell him.

“I don’t need to. I’ll always remember it.”

The words hang heavy between you both because you both know the truth—there will come a day when he hums that song, and you won’t hear it.

Your hands are shaking again, and your motor skills haven’t been the same since the sickness spread. Jake notices, gently cradling your fingers in his. His touch is steady and deliberate. He brings your knuckles to his lips, kissing them as tears slide silently down his face.

You hate feeling guilty for leaving him as if this were something you could control.

“I wish I could give you more time,” you whisper.

“You’ve already given me everything,” Jake choked out. His voice is so soft, so broken. “Every moment with you… every smile, every fight, every time you told me you loved me. I don’t need anything else.”

The wind picks up slightly, carrying the scent of the lake toward you. You close your eyes and let it wash over you. You want to remember the feeling of the sun on your face, the warmth of Jake’s arms around you, and the sound of his breath catching in his chest.

When the sun begins to set, your energy is almost gone. You lean heavily into him as he carries you back to the car, your cheek pressed to his shoulder. His breathing is uneven from the weight—not of you, but of everything.

Back home, you sit in the living room wrapped in blankets while he kneels before you. The pain has started again, a dull throb deep in your spine. You wince, and Heeseung reaches for the medication.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, your voice barely above a whisper.

“No, it’s not.” His tone is firm. “You’re hurting.”

You watch him press the pills into your palm, his hands shaking worse than before. You swallow them slowly, grimacing against the bitter taste. He kneels, his head resting in your lap as you gently run your fingers through his hair.

For the first time, you feel his tears soak through the fabric of your clothes.

“Please don’t go yet,” he whispers.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you murmur. “I’m right here.”

But you both know.

The clock ticks somewhere in the background; its sound is loud and unforgiving. You count each second because you don’t know how many more you’ll get.

“Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you sing to me?”

He lifts his head, wiping his eyes roughly before nodding. You know it takes everything he has to push through the grief tightening his throat, but he does it for you. His voice cracks on the first note, but it doesn’t matter.

It’s beautiful. He’s beautiful.

And you let yourself drift into his voice, the memory of today, and the love you’ve shared for what feels like a lifetime.

When the sun rises the next day, Jake wakes to silence.

Your hand is still in his, and your face is slightly toward him. You look peaceful, and for a brief moment, he imagines you’re simply asleep.

Then it hits him.

The emptiness.

The stillness.

There’s no word for the sound he makes when he pulls you against him, his tears falling into your hair. There’s no word for the ache that settles into his chest when he kisses your forehead one last time.

“Thank you for giving me one more day,” he whispers, his voice breaking.

You’re gone, but the sun rises, spilling light across your face.

And Jake sits there, holding you as if his love alone could keep you together.

Even now, he hums the song he made just for you—because he promised he’d never forget it.

And he never will.

The house feels wrong without you. Jake hadn’t noticed how quiet it could be—how the creak of the floorboards, the hum of the refrigerator, even the wind against the windows—could sound so loud in your absence.

It’s been three days.

He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing, his fingers twitching as if reaching for something no longer there. You. Your scent still lingers on the sheets. If he closes his eyes and breathes deeply enough, he swears he can feel you beside him.

But when he opens them, the bed is empty.

Jake can’t look at the lake yet. He drives past it anyway, because not seeing it feels worse. He stops the car at the same spot where you both sat, where you leaned against his chest and let him hold you. The blanket is still folded neatly in the backseat—he hadn’t been able to touch it.

The sun is setting, its light turning the water shades of gold and violet, like the heavens are mourning, too. Jake grips the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white, his breath uneven.

“You said you wouldn’t go,” he whispers into the empty car. His voice shakes, anger bubbling beneath the grief. “You said you weren’t going anywhere. You promised.”

He knows it’s not fair, that you didn’t want to leave him. He knows. But knowing doesn’t make the anger feel any less real.

“You’re supposed to be here.” His voice cracks on the last word, and he bites down on his lip so hard he tastes blood. “Why aren’t you here?”

There’s no answer. Just the sound of the water lapping at the shore and the distant cry of birds flying home.

Home.

But his home is gone.

Your clothes still hang in the closet. Jake tries to clean up one day, thinking maybe if he makes the house less you, it will hurt less. He’s wrong.

The moment he pulls one of your sweaters from the hanger, it slips through his shaking hands and crumples onto the floor. He drops to his knees, clutching the fabric tightly, pressing it to his face.

It smells like you. Like the lavender soap you loved and the faintest hint of vanilla.

“I can’t do this,” he chokes out, the sobs finally breaking through.

Jake hadn’t cried like this since the morning he woke to find you gone, but now the dam has burst. His tears stain the soft wool of your sweater as he gasps for breath, his chest heaving.

“You’re supposed to be here,” he repeats over and over, as if saying it enough times might bring you back. But the silence presses in around him, mocking him.

He doesn’t sleep much anymore. Nights are the hardest.

Every time he closes his eyes, he dreams of you. Sometimes it’s beautiful—he dreams of the lake, of you laughing, your smile radiant as the sunlight. Those dreams are the cruelest because when he wakes, for the briefest moment, he forgets.

And then he remembers.

Other nights, it’s nightmares. You slipping away from him, calling his name as he tries to hold on. He wakes drenched in sweat, chest tight, throat raw from screaming.

One night, he dreams of the day at the lake. Of you leaning against him, asking about the song he was humming.

“I’ll always remember it,” he’d told you.

When he wakes up, he sits at the piano in the dark, the song replaying in his mind like a ghost. He presses the keys gently, the melody soft and broken. Each note sounds like a piece of him shattering.

By the time he finishes, tears are streaming down his face again. He rests his head against the keys, the silence stretching endlessly around him.

“Where are you?” he whispers. “Where are you now?”

Days turn into weeks. People stop calling as much. They say things like “She wouldn’t want you to be sad,” and “You have to keep living.”

Jake hates it.

Because he doesn’t know how to keep living when everything reminds him of you.

The coffee mugs you used to bicker over—yours with the chipped rim that you insisted still worked fine—sit untouched on the counter. Your books, their spines worn and pages creased, still clutter the shelves. He swears he hears your voice in his head when he picks one up, remembering how you used to read aloud, your voice soft and full of wonder.

“I just want one more day,” he whispers one night, sitting on the floor beside the bed. His forehead rests against the mattress where you used to sleep, his hand gripping the sheets as if you might be there, just out of reach.

“Just one more day of you.”

Eventually, he goes back to the lake.

The sun is setting again, just like it had that day. Jake sits on the blanket—the same one he hadn’t been able to touch for weeks—and pulls your sweater over his shoulders.

It’s too big on him, but it’s yours.

For a long time, he says nothing. The wind blows gently through his hair, carrying with it the faint scent of pine and water. He stares at the horizon, his chest aching, waiting for something that will never come.

And then, quietly, he hums.

It’s the song he made for you.

The sound carries across the water, soft and fragile, like glass. It’s broken in places, trembling like his voice, but he doesn’t stop. Because this song is all he has left of you now.

And as the last note fades into the air, Jake lets himself cry.

The sunset turns the sky shades of gold and violet, just like it did that day.

And for the first time in weeks, he whispers, “I love you.”

The words drift into the wind, lost somewhere between the earth and sky, and for a moment, he imagines you’re there, listening.

And he wonders if somewhere, somehow, you’re whispering it back.

The present comes crashing back like a punch to the gut. The flashback fades, leaving Jake sitting in the too-bright backstage lounge, his hands clasped together so tightly his knuckles are bone-white. The faint hum of conversation buzzes around him, the other ENHYPEN members talking softly, someone laughing across the room—but the sounds feel far away, muffled, like he’s underwater.

“Jakey?”

He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t look up.

Sunghoon stands a few feet away, concern painting his face as he peers at Jake. “Are you okay?”

The question hangs heavy in the air, and Jake forces himself to take a breath. He’s been holding it, he realizes—holding it like he might stop himself from shattering into pieces. He drags his hands down his face, swallowing the lump in his throat before lifting his head.

“Yeah,” he lies, voice hoarse. “I’m fine.”

But he isn’t fine. How can he be? The ache is still there—a hollow, gaping void in his chest where you used to be. The memory of you clings to him like shadows he can’t shake, the song he wrote for you still humming faintly in the back of his mind.

Jake knows the other members can see it—he’s quieter these days, smiles harder to come by, laughter sounding a little too forced. But they don’t push. They know him too well to pry when he’s not ready.

Jay calls out, voice cutting through the haze. “Five minutes, guys.”

The members begin to move around him, grabbing water bottles, fixing outfits, hyping each other up. Jake tries to focus on their voices, on the energy they always carry before a performance. He’s supposed to be a part of it—he always is. Walk The Line is their biggest tour yet, a dream for all of them. For their ENGENEs.

And yet, here he is, sitting on the edge of a couch with his hands still trembling.

The walk to the stage feels impossibly long. The closer they get, the louder the sounds grow—the deep bass thrum of music vibrating through the walls, the roar of thousands of ENGENEs just beyond the curtain. It’s deafening and overwhelming, a wall of sound so alive it should make him feel invincible.

But it doesn’t.

Jake adjusts his in-ear monitors as he walks, his chest tightening with every step. He swears he can still feel your hand in his, your voice whispering, "You’re supposed to be here.”

He stops walking.

The others are ahead of him now, clustered near the stage entrance. Heeseung notices first, pausing to look back over his shoulder.

“Jake? You good?”

Jake lifts his head. For a second, the question lingers, like a challenge he can’t meet. Is he good? He hasn’t been good since you left. He hasn’t been whole.

But then he hears it—the chant of ENGENEs calling his name, calling their names.

“ENHYPEN! ENHYPEN!”

It shakes him to his core, the energy crashing into him all at once.

You had always loved his voice. Loved watching him perform, the way he poured his soul into every song, every word. You told him once, in your soft, fading voice, “When you’re on stage, it’s like you’re alive in a way no one else could ever be.”

Alive.

Jake blinks hard against the sting in his eyes, the tears that threaten to spill. He doesn’t have time to break—not now. So he breathes, deep and slow, pushing your memory somewhere deeper for just a little while.

Heeseung’s voice breaks through his haze again. “Jake?”

He nods once, finally moving to catch up with the others. “I’m okay.”

This time, it’s closer to the truth.

The stage lights blind him as they burst into brightness, and the sound of ENGENEs’ cheers hits him like a tidal wave. It’s overwhelming. It’s electric. It’s everything.

Jake steps into position, his mic warm in his palm, the opening beats of their first song rattling through the stadium. He forces a smile, even as his chest still aches. Because this—this moment—is what he has left.

And maybe you’re out there somewhere, in the crowd, in the echoes of the music, in the spaces between the lyrics. Maybe you’re watching him. Maybe you’re proud of him.

As he sings, the song he wrote for you hums faintly at the back of his mind, its melody weaving quietly beneath the performance. The tears threaten again, but he pushes through it, pouring everything he has left into every note, every movement.

He sings for you.

He always will.

The crowd doesn’t see the way his hands tremble, or the way he closes his eyes just a little too long as he hits a note that feels like it’s pulling his heart from his chest. They only see Jake, their star, shining as brightly as ever.

But he knows.

You know.

And when the song ends and the lights dim for a moment, Jake whispers, so quietly no one else can hear,

“I miss you.”

It drifts into the darkness, carried by the energy of the crowd, and for the first time in days, the ache doesn’t feel quite so heavy.

Jake lifts his head as the lights burst back on, the roar of ENGENEs filling his ears once more. And as he smiles for them, he wonders if you’re smiling back, wherever you are.

Because tonight, just for a moment, it feels like you’re still with him.

And it’s enough to keep him going.

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httpvomitello · 2 months ago

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Hello author, can you make a tmnt from the bayverse having a mother, that is, literally Splinter's wife? How would they be with a mother in their life?

Ooh, i think it would be really sweet. I hope you like it! ♡♡♡♡

Leonardo

Leo would have a deep respect for you, not just because you’re his mother, but because he sees you as a true figure of wisdom and grace

In his eyes, you are the glue that holds the family together

The calming presence that balances out Splinter’s strict teachings

Whenever he struggles with the burden of protecting his brothers, he’ll come to you for guidance

You’ve always had a way of helping him see things clearly, reassuring him when his self-doubt creeps in

He might not always show it, but your opinion means more to him than anyone else’s

After a long, stressful day, Leo often finds peace in just sitting with you in silence

The moments of having tea together are his favorite

Even though you can take care of yourself, he can’t shake the fear of something happening to you

The thought of losing you is his worst nightmare, so he’s always on high alert

If there’s ever a threat, Leo’s the first to step in, making it clear that no one messes with his mother

You’d also be the one person who can talk him down when he’s too hard on himself

Leo tends to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, but with you, he allows himself to let go of that burden.

Raphael

Raph has always had a tough exterior, but when it comes to you, he’s got the softest heart

You’re one of the few people who can break through that hard shell of his

If anyone so much as looks at you the wrong way, Raph’s ready to throw down

Growing up, Raph would always try to be the strong one

But you were the only person who saw through his tough guy act

You’ve always known how sensitive he really is underneath it all, and that makes your bond with him even stronger

He never has to pretend to be someone else around you

You’re his safe space, the person he can be vulnerable with

When he’s angry, you’re the only one who can calm him down

He hates seeing you worried or upset, so he’ll try his best to keep it together for your sake, even if it’s hard for him

Raph might not say it out loud, but he’s got a major soft spot for you

When he’s having a bad day, he’ll find you and just sit with you, not needing to say anything

Your presence is enough to help him feel grounded

Sometimes, he’ll even come to you in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep, and you’ll talk him through whatever’s on his mind.

Donatello

Donnie has a deep appreciation for you, not just as his mother, but as someone who always supports his curious mind

You’re the person who’s encouraged him to explore and embrace his intelligence

Even when others didn’t always understand his inventions

Growing up, you’d be the one who brought him snacks and reminded him to take breaks when he’d get too lost in his work

He loves talking to you about his latest projects, explaining all the details (even when you might not fully get all the tech talk)

You never make him feel like his ideas are too complicated or out there

You’ve always been his biggest fan

When Donnie’s working on something special, you’re the first person he shows it to

Seeing you proud of him is one of the best feelings in the world

Donnie’s way of showing affection is by creating things for you

Your happiness is important to him, and he’ll use every skill he has to ensure you’re comfortable and safe

He’s also the one who will secretly monitor your well-being, using his tech to make sure you’re safe at all times

He will never admit it, though.

Michelangelo

Mikey is the one who’s most outwardly affectionate with you

You’re his mom, his source of unconditional love, and he thrives off your warmth and attention

He’s always calling you “Momma” and trying to make you laugh, whether it’s with a joke, a silly face, or just by being his usual goofy self

To Mikey, you’re his comfort

He’s the one who will curl up next to you after a long day of fighting bad guys, resting his head on your shoulder and telling you about his day

If he’s ever feeling down or frustrated, he goes straight to you, knowing you’ll cheer him up

He loves the way you always seem to know exactly what to say to make him feel better

He’ll constantly bring you little gifts or drawings, just as a way to show you how much he loves you

Mikey’s all about making you feel appreciated

He’s also the first one to tell you how much he loves you, blurting it out randomly throughout the day

“Hey, Momma, I love you!” You’ll never have to question how much you mean to him

In terms of protection, Mikey can get surprisingly serious

While he’s usually the laid-back, fun-loving brother, when it comes to you, he doesn’t play around

If you’re in danger, Mikey will switch gears immediately, ready to defend you with everything he’s got.

#reader #x reader #y/n #tmnt #tmnt x reader #bayverse tmnt x reader #f!reader #tmnt bayverse #bayverse leonardo #bayverse mikey #bayverse raphael #bayverse donnie #tmnt x platonic!reader

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dubina-dawkins · 2 months ago

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PHONE-CALL

Sam Winchester x Reader

5,4k words

>Sam is feeling pretty bad. So, he's calling you, because he needs comfort, and seeks it in the sound of your voice through his Nokia's lousy speakers.

WARNING: hurt/comfort, angsty, beginning of season 3, mentions of canon deaths, oh god give sam some comfort, no usage of y/n, friendzone, gender neutral reader

It was getting harder and harder. Sam was having a hard time coping, to be honest. coping. With everything around him. Too much had happened in the last few years. Jessica had died; he still blamed himself for it. His father died, so many people died on hunts, all because of him. He was also the reason the gates of Hell had opened... Even Dean had sacrificed himself for him, selling his soul in exchange for Sam's life.

He felt too much guilt about it all, about everything.

And he needed... someone, to be honest. He was sitting on a decrepit motel bed, staring at the ceiling. Dean wasn't here, he was-- Basically enjoying the rest of his sold-out life. After a successful case, he decided not to care too much about the amount of drinking, eating, and women in bed. But so far, there were no women in the motel that night... And that was the moment he remembered about you.

You were...either a partner or an apprentice to one of Dean's exes, who was also a hunter. Only two years younger than Sam, and yet so adept at putting silver daggers into vampire necks-hell, you were as skilled a hunter as he was, as Dean was, and as your...partner? Mentor? It didn't matter now, it didn't matter at all.

All that mattered was how he opened up to you. Maybe for the first time since Jess died. No kissing, no nights in the same bed, not even in the same room. Just quiet embraces, with your fingers scratching his soft curls, running through them, tugging them back in a gentle manner. And his big hands pressed against your thighs, not intimate enough to ruin your exceptionally friendly relationship, but strong enough to express the way his thoughts went to bad places-not in a dirty way, but rather...in a sad way. When his thoughts became too self-indulgent, Sam needed your company, the feel of your body close by so he could draw lazy and uneven patterns with his fingers. God, he was a professional artist, if that's what we're talking about.

And now Sam felt impossibly anxious. Bad thoughts appeared in his wounded brain at an incredibly vivid rate. And you weren't around, not for a long time. You'd been keeping Jo company for some time now, leaving your mentor (partner??) to become the one to teach Jo more than what she already knew and could do. And as luck would have it, now that there was danger everywhere, demons...you were very, very far away from him.

His long fingers frantically pick up the phone from the nightstand, quickly scrolling down to find the contact with your name on it. He presses the contact, and for a couple seconds Sam just...stares at the screen. Maybe he shouldn't have called you. He didn't want to bother, didn't want anyone else to worry about him, but ... His fingers were functioning faster than the neurons in his brain.

"Hey...? Hey, hi, it's...it's Sam," he says quietly, almost fearfully, when the agonizing beeps end and you finally pick up the phone. But your voice is much more positive than his, louder, you're clearly glad to finally hear him!

"You didn't have to introduce yourself, handsome, do you really think I didn't put your number in my contacts?" Your voice is as teasing as ever, his favorite trait about you, one of his thousand favorites. And besides that tease-the chuckle after the answer, God, the feeling from that sound alone was bohemian. Sam felt the blood rush to his cheeks, and yet he continued. "Huh, just...just to make sure. I, uh...don't think, just wanted to hear from you, just-"

"Sam, don't languish. Spit it out, I can hear you're feeling awful" You grin, but your voice isn't so teasing anymore. Your tone is more gentle, more serious. Sam even thought-just thought-there were even such cooing, loving notes in your voice that his head was starting to spin from the fuzziness.

Sam stutters, his fingers trying to find some physical substitute for you, but the starched sheets are too rough against your skin. He speaks slowly, anxiously. That Sam was disturbed by the deaths around him, you knew perfectly well, and you knew that the hunters didn't really see Sam as someone they could trust - and that was another reason for his anxiety, that he could feel the stares in the crowd and expect that now he'd be tied to a chair again, and he and Dean would have no more guaranteed luck to get out. And yet, you listened, now and then, in the pauses of his story, whispering stupidly pleasant things into the tube. "Everything will be fine"; "everything will work out"; "I'll be there for you, if not physically, then mentally, that's for sure." The only thing missing from that boring line of reassurances (which, in those gentle whispers, still made Sam feel a little better) was the famous three words. But Sam stopped himself - you were friends. Friends, friends... Just friends.

"You're so good to me," his tone is soft, just above a whisper.

"Always welcome, love," and your playful use of the nickname squeezes the last of his strength out of him to keep from admitting his shameful feelings.

"You know, I...I think I might-" Sam's words are abruptly cut short as the key turns in the motel door with a loud click. The creak of the door swinging open,a woman's drunken laughter and the smug flirtation of that gravelly voice. Sam clearly should have taken a walk while Dean...did his investigating.

"You might what?"

"Later. See you later." Sam quickly drops the call with you, getting out of bed and tentatively walking past his brother, who barely noticed him. But before he walks out, he hesitantly squeezes the phone in his hands, squints and tosses it on the bed. To hell with it.

A/N: first oneshot there yay. love sammy wanna give him all the hugs indaworld

#spn #supernatural #sam winchester x reader #supernatural x reader #supernatural fluff #sam x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x you #sam x you #jared padalecki #but your honor i love him

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pallastrology · 7 months ago

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observations on aries

artwork by edvard munch

aries suns are known for being bold and brash, but there can be a real softness to them; their proximity to pisces and taurus, two of the most sensitive and sensual signs, often lends aries an interesting dichotomy. they are the first sign, and sometimes that softness shows through in indecision or insecurity.

with the midheaven in aries, the native can be compelled towards meaning. they aren’t the type who can just work a random job and chill on their time off. they need purpose, and to feel like their life and how they spend it matters deeply to them. their definition of a meaningful life may vary greatly depending on the natal chart and life of the native, but there is always that common thread of questing towards it.

aries moons sometimes get labelled as being emotionally immature, or even shallow. my experiences with these natives couldn't be further from the truth, however. they are brutally, refreshingly honest, and while they tend to paint in broad strokes, they definitely don't lack depth. it's just a different way of expressing and processing emotions.

venus in aries is all about interest. they need to feel appreciated and desired, not just in love, but in all their relationships. this can even stretch to their work and pastimes, and so, despite aries not being known for this trait, venus in aries can become perfectionistic and even fawning at their most vulnerable. they find it hard to let people in, because when they do, they struggle to close the door again.

mars in aries is known for being angry, and i think can be somewhat demonised because of that. aries mars is a placement that, yes, has big reactions, but the underlying emotions are valid. they have a strong sense of justice and pride, and they are more than willing to fight for what they believe in, even when it gets them into trouble.

saturn in aries is sometimes seen as being "not aries-like"... sure, there are restrictions and difficulties when it comes to autonomy and authority, your path might not be a typical one, and you can lack self-actualisation and assertiveness, especially when younger; but in my opinion, this is a really interesting place to find aries, especially when it comes to being in partnerships and leading or managerial roles.

aries ascendant is, in my opinion, where you tend to see the typical arian mannerisms come out. they walk quickly, talk quickly, and they're also highly visible; you can see their facial expression changing as their thoughts develop, you can see stress and tension in them before they have the chance to hide it. this physical earnesty is really refreshing, but for the native it can be a source of unwanted vulnerability.

with mercury in aries, the native can seem like an open book. they react quickly and sometimes without reflecting, they can think aloud and they express themselves with a disarming directness. but i believe placements like this can find solace in remembering that the initial reaction isn't necessarily how you truly see a situation, but rather, how you've been taught to react to it. learning to reflect and get curious about yourself is a great skill for aries mercury.

#pallastrology #astrology blog #astrology posts #astro community #aries #aries notes #aries observations #astrology notes #astrology observations

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depravitycentral · 1 year ago

Text

Yandere! Illumi Zoldyck General Profile

Yandere! Illumi Zoldyck x fem! reader

Tw: kidnapping, stalking, non-con, breaking and entering, slight somnophilia, misogynistic undertones, traditional gender roles, mentions of forced breeding/forced motherhood, murder, violence, lots of descriptions of killing methodologies, slight mentions of self induced wounds, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 11K

DARLING PROFILE:

Gentle

It takes Illumi a long time to develop feelings for his darling for a multitude of reasons.

Emotional unavailability, high expectations, and disinterest, just to name a few, and while he isn’t actively searching for a partner, there are a few base requirements he knows his future partner must meet.

Strong, intelligent, hard working, everything desirable that he knows both he and his family would approve of.

But once he meets his darling, his interest slightly peaked in them, that list begins changing slightly.

Because while the feelings are slow to solidify, Illumi notices quickly that his darling is so, so painfully averse to being harsh.

They’re not confrontational, treat others with a level of attentiveness and care that initially makes him scoff, and he doesn’t think he’s once seem them ever lose control of themselves and explode.

It’s uncanny, unnatural, as far as Illumi is concerned, and yet it’s fascinating. He slowly grows to admire this trait in his darling, how they can be so unconditionally soft with everything and everyone around them, eventually finding himself more and more attracted to them with every kind deed they do. It makes them weak, easy to manipulate, easy to kill, but Illumi finds it oddly endearing.

He’s always firmly believed that mothers should be nurturing to their children, to help them grow and shape them into the best versions of themselves possible, and while they’re opposite to his mother in many ways, maybe that gentility they possess is a the perfect thing needed.

Once he’s decided that his darling is his future wife, he’s immediately moving to experience this kindness for himself.

He comes back from missions with a little more blood and bruising than was necessary, but the way his darling gasps and quickly grabs the medical kit makes Illumi blink in wide fascination, unsure what drives them to eagerly spring into action but more than ready to feel their soft touch.

(They don’t need to know that Illumi allowed the target to get a few more hits in than necessary, just to keep them fawning over him as long as possible, or that he had to refuse ten different medical personnel in the mansion before making it to their shared ‘bedroom’.)

He likes the juxtaposition between his darling and him, and while it occasionally irritates him that they’re so soft and weak, it’s more endearing than anything else – just don’t be soft with anyone else but him, yes?

Smart

Illumi may be morally misguided, but the man is intelligent. He knows more about the human body than many doctors, and is skilled beyond belief in the art of combat and stealth.

He understands the best ways to go about gathering intel on a target without being traced or caught, and is able to apply that knowledge to set up traps correlating to his employers’ requests.

And this is a trait he’s simply unwilling to compromise when it comes to a partner – they must be able to keep up with him mentally.

They don’t need to have the same kind of intelligence as him, but the ability to critically think and quickly understand is a necessity. Illumi has very little patience for stupidity, and the thought of spending time with someone who doesn’t understand most of what he says is irritating.

And so, once his feelings for his darling begin appearing, Illumi is putting them through a small series of tests to make sure they live up to his expectations. It’s nothing too intense, nothing he wouldn’t be able to do himself.

He’s leaving extra clues that he’s been in his darling’s apartment – clumsy signs that he’d never normally leave, in the hopes that they’ll realize they’ve had an unwanted guest.

Cabinets are left ajar, their bed slightly unmade, though the thing that really clues them in is the presence of long, dark locks of hair around their apartment that they know aren’t theirs.

They’d never leave hair on the kitchen table; they’d see it and remove it, mildly disgusted. And yet, here three locks lay, making them a bit paranoid as they call the police.

Illumi intercepts the call, making sure it never rings through, but he’s still proud of his darling, satisfaction pooling in his chest because he just knew they’d pick up on it.

He likes knowing his darling is competent, and that their future children will be so too – the next Zoldyck heirs can’t be clueless, after all.

Generous

In general, Illumi isn’t particularly selfish with those he holds dear.

With the exception of Killua, Illumi has always willingly done as he’s been told.

He’s never demanded much from his parents, never insisting on material goods. He’s never felt cheated out of anything, either – his parents have molded him into the perfect assassin, and he couldn’t be more grateful for the rigor and training he received as a child.

And yet, once his darling enters his life, Illumi finds himself feeling strangely overwhelmed. They always seem to be giving things away – their time, bits of food they’ve cooked, their love, other things material and not alike.

It confuses Illumi; it makes him wonder why they’re wasting their resources on people they don’t know well, on those who likely wouldn’t reciprocate.

It’s a mystery, and frankly he finds his darling to be foolish for it – until one day it’s focused at him.

Illumi can’t comprehend why his darling is willingly giving away a bit of their time when they encounters him – in another body – disguised as a homeless man begging for change.

There’s a pitied look in their eye as they hand him the bills – two dollars, just what they had in change and could afford to give away – and tells him there’s a gas station nearby with cheap snacks he can eat.

Illumi just stares at them, not understanding why they’re helping, and soon he’s asking just that.

They startle and awkwardly laugh, telling him it’s because they don’t like seeing others in need, and they were only planning on spending that money to buy junk foods for themselves, anyways.

Illumi blinks, but his darling is soon speed walking away, the interaction feeling strange and uncomfortable.

Illumi still doesn’t understand, but it becomes another one of the facets of his darling that he simply learns to enjoy.

He yearns to understand what compels them to put others before themselves (something that yet again irritates him a bit), but he finds that the more he interacts with them, the more he enjoys being the recipient of it.

He’s finally receiving a bit of love and support that isn’t forced from his parents, and he quickly grows addicted.

Enjoys children

The reality of the situation is that as Illumi’s darling, they will be forced to interact with children whether they want to or not.

Namely, their own.

Having a family with him is not optional, and Illumi will never present it as such – once he decides his darling is to be his partner, they automatically become his future wife, the future mother of his children.

He cannot be swayed, regardless of what his darling wants.

However, while it’s still possible for him to grow obsessed with a darling who isn’t especially fond of kids, it’s much more likely that he grows attracted to the ease with which they’re able to communicate with them.

He likes the way they get so happy when a child walks up to them, how they’re immediately squatting down and smiling, playing hide and seek with their own face as the child giggles and beams.

He never knew that sort of innocent and sweet interaction when he himself was a child, but he doesn’t view it as a bad thing if his darling is able to make a child happy.

It’ll only benefit them as parents – it’ll help strengthen the bond, and make their children more malleable and receptive to their guidance.

Besides, there’s something about seeing his darling next to a baby that makes his skin feel hot, eyes blowing wide and his trousers tightening.

The image just looks so right, so natural and perfect that Illumi has to hold himself back from bending them over and fucking them right then and there.

Talent with children is an incredibly attractive trait for Illumi, and likely it's the final nail in the coffin that seals his obsession with his darling – one giggling toddler is all that’s needed to seal their fate.

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Stalker

More than anything, stalking you is the only method of ‘interaction’ with you that Illumi feels truly comfortable with.

He knows how to stay invisible; tracking others is easy, as is staying in the shadows and keeping that wide, unnaturally glassy stare on them. He’s used to watching but not being seen, and it’s only natural to extend this towards you. It feels right to be watching you, like he’s where he’s meant to be, and for the beginning of his obsession he spends every free moment stalking you, hiding in corners or shadows and just staring.

(And really, this behavior lasts all throughout his infatuation, even when he’s got you trapped in the Zoldyck manor, even when you’re nursing his baby, even when you’ve both grown old and death approaches – it’s just that in the beginning, you’re not aware of the black eyes that follow your every move. And that’s a luxury that gets taken all too soon, as you find yourself longing for ignorance of Illumi in every possible way.)

Not to mention, there is no part of him that feels any guilt for it – he’s a cold-blooded assassin, of course, but at no point does it occur to him that it may be strange to be following you, or that you wouldn’t appreciate him watching over you (and watching you, generally).

He doesn’t understand that he shouldn’t approach you like he approaches a target – of course, you won’t be on the receiving end of his needles (at least, not with death his ultimate goal – perhaps something less lethal, like love or submission or lust), but otherwise his intentions are the same.

(Well, mostly – not really, actually, because Illumi doesn’t feel this strange, pleasant warmth in his chest when he’s watching his targets, nor does he feel particularly intrigued when he’s staring at them as they sleep, watching their chest rise and fall and the relaxed, utterly content expression on their face.)

The process of stalking you is remarkably similar to his jobs – first, he’ll choose a place within your home that gives him a good, solid vantage point with minimal risk that he’ll be noticed.

(Though, it’s not exactly hard to hide when you’re so damn oblivious – Illumi swears you have little to no awareness of your surroundings, if the way you sometimes knock into tables or trip over shoes in your doorway is anything to go by.)

His stand-by places are usually in a rarely used storage closet with the door cracked open, just wide enough for his dark eyes to peer through, or perhaps behind a chair you rarely use, crouched and peeking behind the cloth, and when you sit down in said chair, it gives Illumi the opportunity to stand up slightly, towering over you and getting a perfect view of your pretty body and smelling your hair.

But if it’s nighttime and you’re already snuggled up in your bed, eyes glued to your phone screen as you scroll and scroll and neglect your sleep, he'll stand silently and deathly still in the corner.

He’s able to stay perfectly still and maintain the same position for hours at a time, hardly blinking, hardly moving, hardly even breathing, it seems.

And he’s utilizing this skill set to its full potential when it comes to you – Illumi is greedy, and while this doesn’t initially get channeled into being overly possessive of you (though that certainly comes later), it instead translates into this insatiable need to constantly have his eyes on you and to be in your presence every moment he isn’t needed on a job.

There are no boundaries with him, because Illumi genuinely doesn’t see the need to have them. You’re already destined to spend your lives together, so why shouldn’t he start the process of learning more about you?

Autonomy doesn’t really exist with him – he could be considered clingy if his view of your lives being so irreversibly intertwined wasn’t as clinical and matter of fact.

And so Illumi doesn’t operate barred by any sort of moral guidelines – so when he’s using his needles to morph into another face so that he can practice the lines and compliments he’s been told by his mother that will make you swoon, it doesn’t register to him that it might be creepy that he’s practicing wooing you in another body.

(The man is disturbing, and you’re uncomfortable with the way this stranger doesn’t seem to be getting the hint that you want him to leave you alone; why is he standing so close to you? Why is he staring at you like that? Why is he following you?)

It doesn’t register to him that it’s a breach of trust to be pretending to be someone you love and trust, just to extract more information about you.

(Your cousin is acting strangely when they speak to you – their words are clipped and sound just slightly off, and you’re sure they already know what your dreams for the future are. You’ve talked about this with them before, so why are they questioning you on what your ideal house looks like, your ideal partner, your favorite baby names?)

He spends a lot of time observing you, collecting information on you in every way he can, and this doesn’t stop once you’re trapped by his side and with the rest of his crazy, horrible family – it’s a habit, more than anything, but it’s so much worse when you’re aware, when you can see and feel his dark eyes boring into you, making you squirm under the intensity of his gaze.

Of course, talking to him about it won’t do a single thing – only earning you a slight head tilt and a question of does it bother you when I watch you? I apologize, I only meant to keep an eye on you, my dear.

He genuinely doesn’t understand that stalking you and keeping a tab on you at all times is something that you very much don’t appreciate, but you’ll quickly come to learn that with Illumi, there’s only so much you can change – so much being quite literally nothing.

Controlling

This particular manifestation of his obsession with you is a culmination of many different things.

Firstly, it’s simply his personality – when he loves, he possesses, this ugly, carnal feeling stirring in his gut that pushes him to be in control, to guide and oversee every little thing the target of his love does. He’s always felt this way with Killua – he loves his brother immensely, but that love translates as being controlling and always keeping a finger on what Killua does, says, and feels.

Secondly, it’s the intense pressure coming from his family. Kikyo expects your total obedience both to her and her son, and while Illumi can sometimes stand up to his mother on matters where your safety and wellbeing are concerned, he can’t deny her expectations of you being absolutely subservient to him, bending to his every whim and allowing him to dictate every aspect of your life.

And finally, it’s his own paranoia that pushes him to micromanage you in every way possible. He’s never had someone to call his before – he’s unselfish in nature, dedicating himself to his family in every possible way, and now that he’s been given a woman to call his own, to spoil and love and keep by his side, he’s not entirely sure how to react.

Your presence soothes him in a way he’s never experienced before; you’re so soft and caring and warm, all things he’s never had. His life has been hardships and tough love, training and never being good enough, and now that you’re in the picture, Illumi isn’t entirely sure how to handle himself.

He doesn’t doubt himself, per se, but he’s unsure how to successfully navigate a marriage. Would you like it if he was more physical with you? Perhaps you’d like more hugs or for him to hold your hand or kiss you more often – that’s what all the popular media resources he’s looked into have told him.

Or maybe you’d prefer a more quiet, subtle kind of love, where you both support one another with meaningful looks and the occasional touch, whispered words that carry more weight than they seem.

He’s not sure, despite all the stalking and information retrieving he’s preformed in your name, and that makes him nervous. He doesn’t like that he can’t anticipate what you’ll want or how to make you happy – it makes him feel less-than, as if he’s not quite the perfect match that his mother and father have always said his wife will be.

He doesn’t like not being sure of himself, and so this worry manifests itself as becoming firmer in his treatment of you, locking down on the few things he’s absolutely sure of.

It comes off as controlling, sure, but Illumi doesn’t mean to be when he’s telling you what to wear, rifling through the closet he procured for you and pulling out a dress he thinks suits your complexion – you may hate it, but he likes it, so you’ll wear it.

He’s not trying to be controlling when he’s clicking his tongue lightly and telling you to keep your posture straight, dear every time you sit down, even if your shoulders are only barely, slightly slumped.

He’s not trying to be controlling when he’s standing over the bathtub and watching you wash yourself, telling you to use more soap, darling, don’t you want to be clean?

(Nevermind his dark eyes blinking slowly and getting stuck on the soapy outline of your breasts under the warm water – surely you’re just imagining that, along with the tent forming in his trousers.)

He’s not trying to be controlling when he’s roughly grabbing your hand and forcing you behind him when you’re walking through the hallways of the manor, his gaze narrowing at the butler standing at attention, paranoia eating away at him because he could have sworn the man was staring at you as you entered the room, and he can’t have that. Even as an employee of the family, no one but Illumi can look at you with any degree of desire – you are his, and if it means cleaning up a body and finding a new butler to replace him, Illumi will do what is needed to keep you his.

IIlumi is quite frankly totally unaware of his controlling behavior – he doesn’t realize anything is wrong because in his eyes nothing is wrong. This is love – it’s how his father always treated his mother when he was young, his eyes cold and his heart even colder, his words cutting her down and remolding her into a woman more fitting of being the matriarch of the Zoldycks.

And while he doesn’t want to break you down or remake you, he’s following his father’s example in making sure that you’re entirely accounted for. You’re his responsibility, and while he doesn’t view you as merely a pet, you’ll often feel like a glorified dog with the way he controls your life down to every second, always telling you that it’s time to go eat, or time to sleep, or time to shower, or time to kiss him and let him undress you.

He's pushy without even meaning to be, but if you bring this behavior up to him, he’ll be surprised. Genuinely – his brows will quirk up ever so slightly, his already wide eyes getting a hair wider because really? I had no idea, my dear. Thank you for bringing this to my attention; I will reduce the frequency on my instructions towards you.

But he doesn’t, even if he promises he will.

And it’s not entirely his fault – he thinks he is, even going so far as to be expectant of your praise when he holds himself back from telling you to use the other fork when he’s dining with you privately. Surely you must be proud of him – he’s doing as you asked, being a good husband and fulfilling your desires and wishes.

So why aren’t you praising him?

Why aren’t you mentioning anything about how generous he’s being, how considerate he is?

You’ve blatantly disregarded his attempts at trying to be less ‘controlling’, as you claim, and Illumi takes this as a sign to only double down and become more omnipresent, because obviously you haven’t quite learned how to be a kind, grateful, adoring wife.

You haven’t quite yet learned the lessons he’s been trying to teach you – so you need more guidance. You need more advice, a firmer hand to push you towards becoming the best, most noble version of yourself, and lucky, lucky you has a loving, oh so eager husband right there willing to step into that role.

He’s domineering and in control of every aspect of your life, but there’s almost a small sense of relief that you’ll eventually feel. Because really, while it makes you feel weak and pathetic and pitiful to have him controlling how long you brush your teeth every morning and night, isn’t there something kind of nice about relinquishing your responsibilities? Isn’t there something oddly nice about not having to make your own decisions, to let Illumi take care of everything, to not have to worry about anything ever again?

It's the Stockholm Syndrome talking, and you may even know it – but it doesn’t matter, because the longer you spend under Illumi’s thumb, the less you’ll find yourself caring about things like choice and autonomy and preference. All that matter is what he wants, what he thinks is best – because really, doesn’t he know best?

Isn’t he superior to you in every possible way?

Protective

Illumi has a very, very good understanding of the human body.

He has to – his job depends on it, after all, and Illumi is nothing if not dedicated to his work. He knows every muscle, vein, and bone, their purpose and exactly what it would mean if it was removed.

He knows what organs must stay in tact for survival, how much blood a person can lose and stay conscious, how cold temperature can drop before hypothermia begins, even how long a person can survive without sleeping.

And it’s this wide breadth of knowledge that leads Illumi to know just how pathetically weak you are.

There are so many possible ways to hurt you – everything from a gunshot to a paper cut could potentially end your tragically fragile life, and the longer Illumi watches you, the more uncomfortable this knowledge becomes.

It’s not that you’re objectively incapable of defending yourself – perhaps you know some basic self-defense, or perhaps your survival instincts are sharp enough to keep you away from dangerous situations. No – it’s more that Illumi knows what other people are capable of, what nen is capable of, and he knows that you’d simply be no match if someone were to attack you.

And so, this puts him into a rather uncomfortable spot; at the beginning of his obsession with you, when his feels were still freshly formed and underdeveloped, he felt no sense of protectiveness over you. You’re an adult, you can care for yourself – you’ve survived this long, haven’t you?

But then he starts noticing how wide your smile can get, or how soft your hand is when you’re sleeping, or how pretty your voice sounds when you’re singing in your kitchen and making yourself dinner.

He starts noticing that you’ve been biting your lip, the skin a little puffy and swollen and stinging a bit. Did you know that your lip could get infected, and if you don’t get to a doctor fast enough, that infection could cost you your life?

He starts noticing that the skin of your hands is a little dry, and you keep getting hangnails. Did you know that dry skin can be a sign of serious nutrition deficiencies, and if you don’t enough potassium you could end up in the hospital and slowly waste away until you eventually can no longer hold on?

He starts noticing that sometimes your voice gets a little hoarse after you try to sing a particularly high note, your voice cracking and a series of coughs racking your body. Did you know that if you cough too hard, you can actually strain your lungs and affect their ability to take in oxygen, potentially suffocating you?

Time passing brings him to the realization that the idea of you dying makes him frown, something unpleasant brewing in his chest that he guesses is sadness. He doesn’t like the idea of you passing away – he wants you alive, and if you were to die, he wouldn’t be able to watch you anymore, to feel that warm, addicting feeling in his heart you give him. If you were to suddenly keel over and die, he’d be left all alone – like normal, yes, but now that he knows what it's like to have someone, to want someone, Illumi doesn’t think he could return to his old existence.

And so, the solution is simple: keep you alive.

Except, it’s much harder to keep someone living and breathing than it is to simply kill them, and quickly Illumi is realizing just how tall an order this is. Because really, there’s just so much that could potentially injure you, that could potentially lead to your life being in danger.

You’re just so damn clumsy – he’s watched you trip over air, and if you’re that naturally unaware of your surroundings, who’s to say you wouldn’t be susceptible to even the most minor injuries? How can he be sure that you’ll manage to evade even the most innocent of accidents?

You won’t. He’s sure of it.

And so, he’s growing slightly paranoid because every new object you encounter is immediately a threat to him, five different ways that object could endanger you immediately flashing through his mind.

A pair of car keys? They’re dull and blunt, sure, but if they were thrust into your chest just right they could rupture something, cause you to bleed out, give you tetanus or metal poisoning.

A book you’re obsessing over? You could get a papercut, a slice across your pretty skin, and Kalluto has proven that paper can be incredibly deadly.

Your damn cell phone? Well, the screen is horrible for your eyes, your information could be sold and land in the hands of someone nefarious, and he knows you look at it while you’re walking on busy streets.

There’s just so many avenues for you to get hurt, and Illumi works himself to the bone to prevent any of them from successfully causing you harm. And he’s effective, too – you’ll find your knives have suddenly disappeared, your razors too, even any sort of pill you have that’s stronger than Ibuprofen.

All your outlets have suddenly stopped working, your ovens too, even your dishwasher.

Your shower doesn’t seem to be able to get as hot as it used to, and you don’t remember your pillows being as fluffy or numerous as they currently are.

You’ll know something is wrong, your anxiety shooting through the roof because someone must be robbing you, setting foot into your home and stealing all your things.

The reality is much more sinister, much more terrifying, and as soon as you wake up in Illumi’s hold, you’ll realize that your situation is much, much worse than you’d imagined.

He’s going to every length to keep you safe and sound from potential harm, even if it leaves you feeling pitiful and beyond ashamed, the babyproofed bathroom he lets you use making you ill when you see the way there’s locks on the cabinets to prevent you from rooting around for anything that could cause irreparable damage.

It’ll make you feel incompetent, embarrassed even when Illumi tries to comfort you by saying that he doesn’t think you’re incapable, just not entirely trustworthy, my dear. There’s a difference.

(His voice is always just slightly condescending when he talks to you, and this is surely no exception – it’ll make you feel worse, but he doesn’t seem to notice or care.)

Because really, all that matters to Illumi is making sure that you stay alive – he’s selfish, wanting to keep you solely to himself, and even if that means making sure you go nowhere unaccompanied, to nothing without his help, make no decisions by yourself, he doesn’t mind.

He’s doing it for you, for your shared love, for the good of your relationship.

And if you don’t seem to understand that for now, he’s sure someday you will. Someday you’ll realize the extent to which Illumi cares for you – why else would he do so very much for you, his devotion to you spanning long before he finally got to sink his claws (and cock) into you?

So really, shouldn’t you be grateful?

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

Jealousy is very much not something Illumi has ever really had to deal with.

His whole life has been training, killing, devotion to his family and the Zoldyck name, and as an assassin he’s never really been envious of anyone, or really had strong enough feelings about anything to want something.

It’s a concept he understands in theory but begins questioning it when it comes to the way it makes people crazy, the way people act so strangely in circumstances where envy and jealousy are concerned. It seems entirely stupid, something that only serves to derail situations.

And yet, once a strange nagging feeling begins at the edges of his mind, Illumi finds himself wondering if this is the famous jealousy he’s always heard of.

It doesn’t feel good – it’s like there’s something pulling at his heart, a hand wrapped around it and squeezing every so often, the feeling almost painful and certainly irritating.

But the more he’s around you, the more it persists – almost seeming to grow by the day, even if you’re fully alone, in your apartment reading a book or scrolling through your phone. Illumi very suddenly understands why jealousy is known as something so horrible, something that eats you up inside and won’t leave you alone – that is, Illumi quickly begins noticing that he isn’t the only man vying for your attention and love.

Because he’s constantly watching you, following you and making sure that he knows everything there is to know about your life and relationships with others, he doesn’t miss the situations where you interact with another man, where you smile and laugh and even compliment other men, all right in front of him.

(Illumi tends to conveniently disregard the fact that you aren’t able to sense him, that you aren’t aware that you have a dangerous, murderous stalker trailing your every move.)

It’s irritating, frustrating, distracting enough to be seriously affecting his work – he’ll have a fleeting thought of the way you’d smiled at that other man a week ago as he goes for the final stab into the target’s chest, but the slight snarl he lets out has him missing just slightly, instead nicking the target in the shoulder and giving them an opportunity to scramble away.

Illumi’s irritation only increases at that, and soon there’s blood splattered along the floor as he breaths deeply, the red staining his clothing standing out bright.

He really tried to ignore it at first, but once it began affecting him even when he’s not in your presence, Illumi knew he had to solve the problem. And after a quick, rather detached conversation with his father about it, Illumi was quickly enlightened that he was in fact jealous, his father having laughed lightly and patting him on the arm, telling him that it’s natural to feel that way about your wife, Illumi. Your duty is as an assassin, but as a member of this family. If the woman you’ve chosen to bear your heir is giving you such feelings, I see no harm in acting upon them. It will serve you well to focus more on your work, as well.

And so Illumi embraces this newfound permission to foster this emotion - it’s odd, the way what he’s fairly confident is anger coils around his heart, making his fists clench slightly, his nails digging into his palms as he watches you talk and laugh with that man. That man, who probably doesn’t even know how to use nen, who probably doesn’t even understand how perfect of a wife you could be, how good of a mother and perfect addition to his family you’d be.

It’s strange, and while Illumi doesn’t particularly enjoy it, he can’t deny the odd sense of finality that comes with killing without being paid to, the strange sensation of enjoying ending a life. He finds himself smiling after plunging his nails into a man’s jugular, but Illumi isn’t too horribly bothered.

It’s new and strange, but so is everything else you make Illumi experience, after all. Why should this be any different?

As he trails behind you in the shadows, his dark eyes train in on your figure as you bite your lip and look over the selection of fruit displayed out on the cart of the farmer’s market.

Illumi stays perfectly still, completely focused on watching you. You’re wearing a pair of jeans today, pants that hug your figure a little too tightly for his tastes, along with a sweatshirt that does quite the opposite – hiding your upper body, which Illumi only finds slightly more agreeable.

(In the back of his mind, he makes a mental note to have a talk with you about proper dress for a woman such as yourself – a woman who’s to become part of a powerful, wealthy family, and as such must represent them - and her husband - with her head held high and confidence oozing from her. He’s sure a nice skirt and blouse will do the trick – silky or satin, shimmery and soft like you. Or, perhaps, a dress – maybe a floral pattern or a deep magenta. Of course, you’ll eventually be wearing purple, the Zoldyck family color, but he knows women enjoy fashion, and he's interested to see what you’d pick.)

As he thinks through what he’ll say to you, already planning out how the conversation will go, he notices a man with shaggy brown hair and honey brown eyes take a deep breath and walk beside you, standing next to you and looking over the selection of apples, pears, oranges and various other fruits.

Illumi’s expression makes no change as the brunette says something about how there’s always too many options at markets like these, types of fruit that he’s never heard of making it difficult to choose, to which you laugh and full heartedly agree.

The assassin makes no move, but as he watches and listens with distaste lodged in the back of his throat, you continue on the conversation, asking the man’s advice on which type of apple you should get.

It’s a short interaction, in all honesty - maybe a minute maximum, but Illumi is still watching with a heavy, piercing gaze, feeling the same odd, sickly feeling rise up from his chest.

He’s already decided that if the man moves to lay even a finger on you he’ll emerge from the shadows, swiftly and triumphantly piercing his chest with his entire hand.

Maybe that’ll get him to stop talking.

But the man doesn’t, and so Illumi begrudgingly lets the conversation run its course. You eventually say goodbye to the man and ask him if he’d like to meet up at the same booth in a week to compare the types of fruit.

Immediately Illumi’s fist clenches, his nails sharpening and digging into his palms, drops of blood littering the pavement below him as his eyes never stray, keeping trained on you as you walk in the opposite direction of the man, who is now blushing and smiling like a fool.

Disgusting, Illumi thinks as he follows the man.

The world won’t miss him, is all he’s thinking as he pulls a pin and flicks his wrist, the needle sinking into his neck. He watches with a dull gaze as the fast acting poison renders the man immobile, falling to his knees as his chest slows its breaths, eventually no longer moving.

You most certainly won’t, he thinks as he picks up the body, unsheathing the needle after life has left the body, finding a nearby trash bin to stuff the man into.

It isn’t the most efficient method of dealing with a body, but Illumi can’t be bothered – after all, in the some thirty seconds it’s taken him to deal with the man who thought he had a chance with what Illumi has already claimed as his, you’ve managed to make it a bit further from him, wandering through the maze of stalls with the bag full of produce in your hands.

He’s immediately falling into step behind you, the flexing of his fingers doing nothing to distract him as he brings back his stare, internally sighing as he sees another man – this time blond – look over at you and not so subtly rake his eyes up and down your body.

Illumi’s brow twitches – he only brought twenty needles this morning, and you’ve only been at the market for some fifteen minutes. Already he only has three left, and with a small sigh he reminds himself to bring more tomorrow, as he’ll surely use them.

And really, while Illumi doesn’t enjoy that other men are looking at you, being deluded enough to believe that they have a chance with you, he needs to make sure that there are no complications with your union, that there will be no problems to take care of when he eventually whirls you away to his home, where you’ll be his lovely wife that provides him with children and a warmth he can’t explain.

There’s a certain thrill that comes with letting himself feel, with not pushing down the emotion as his father said – a certain thrill that he can only feel where you’re concerned.

After all, you’re just that special.

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

From the moment Illumi decides that you’re a good match for him, it becomes a known fact (at least, among his family) that you would eventually be living alongside him in the Zoldyck manor.

You don’t have a choice, really – all of his family lives together on the mountain, and you will be no exception, despite your temporary status as an honorary member.

(This status is temporary if only because now you aren’t an official Zoldyck, but the moment you become pregnant with his child, this status changes – you’re a real Zoldyck then, because inside you grows the family’s next assassin, a product of Illumi’s devotion to you and proof of your resolve to commit yourself to the Zoldycks. It’s all terribly romantic to Illumi, even if it makes you want to hurl, and he’ll have no qualms telling you this information – he’ll even frame it as if it’s some sort of incentive to get you eagerly spreading your legs for him. He treats it like you want to be accepted into the family – like it’s your deepest desire, and no amount of arguing or pleading with him will convince him otherwise.)

You will be sharing a bed with him, living under the same roof and spending all your time beside him when he’s not away for a job, whether you like it or not, and Illumi has known this from the very beginning. You’ll be curled up in his arms, his skin cold and slightly clammy as he holds you, his grip much too tight and stiff even as he sleeps – you can hardly move, every breath you take feeling constricted and controlled, as if Illumi is doing you a favor by allowing you just a bit of space to breathe.

It takes him a while to fully develop and understand what his feelings mean, but once he does he isn’t holding back in any form - his family was, for lack of a better word, floored the night that their eldest son casually mentioned having selected his future wife. Kikyo was immediately pressing him for details, wanting to know every fact and scrap of information about her future daughter in law, which Illumi was happy to provide.

He immediately spouted off your name, age, basic personality, physical features, hobbies, interests, important life events, past and current jobs, relationships with your parents, friends, partners, anything and everything he can think of, Kikyo listening all the while with a scowl on her face. She’s confused on why her precious son has chosen you, considering you weren’t a skilled nen user, a fighter or even someone of great importance.

She’s not completely convinced of her son’s choice, but there’s a strange determination to Illumi’s normally lifeless eyes that she can see that makes her back off a bit, leaving her with an odd sense of finality in his words, confidence in his decision that makes it hard to argue.

(Besides, everyone knows Killua is the true heir of the family – as long as Illumi produces members to join the Zoldyck ranks, it’s not so important who chooses to wed. As long as they’re suitable for conception, she’ll begrudgingly accept – perhaps not with enthusiasm, but she’ll relent nonetheless.)

Silva is listening as well, though not as intensely as his wife, and after Illumi finishes his some twenty minute recall of your information, he merely takes a sip of his drink and nods, telling his son to treat her with care, she sounds weak in comparison to you.

Milluki is rolling his eyes, wondering why his brother decided on someone so normal, though he doesn’t dare say anything. Internally, though, he’s already imagining what you look like, his mental picture of you built upon Illumi’s descriptions, but with just a bit more detail – things his brother hadn’t mentioned, like the size of your chest or if you’re clumsy or if your voice is high and feminine and whiny.

Kalluto only nods, wondering what you’ll be like in person if you’ve managed to catch his older brother’s eye.

His mother is still disappointed in his choice, but wastes no time helping Illumi prepare for your eventual arrival, helping him create a regiment for how to integrate you into the family, how to work with your needs, considering your status as a mere commoner.

And while Illumi lets his mother plan and schedule and bustle about, he’s merely thinking of how he should take you away, tuning out his mother’s shrill words as she yells and commands butlers, telling them to prepare and clean and do everything so that Illumi’s new wife will be received well.

In all reality, Illumi – while very much concerned with his family’s acceptance of you, considering the tightness and loyalty instilled into him – isn’t especially concerned about the plans his mother is running wild preparing. He knows that with enough time and training, you’ll eventually fit right into the mold his mother wants you to, or at least as far into it as Illumi is allowing.

Because really, while he agrees that you need to be toughened up at least a little bit in order to survive in the mansion and be strong enough to bear his children, he doesn’t want your core personality to change – he fell in love with you for a reason, and while you must be trained a bit to survive as a Zoldyck, he doesn’t want you to become a stranger.

And so instead of listening to his mother’s plans, he’s slipping out under the cover of nightfall and climbing through the familiar window of your bedroom, your sleeping form laying so still and peaceful, like you’re just waiting for him to come steal you away.

A pin (as much as he hates piercing your skin with the needle, it must be done) is applied to your shoulder and your sleep is suddenly much heavier, your body visibly going limp, your breaths getting longer and deeper, and for a moment he worries that he’s infused too much nen into the needle, that your breathing will just keep slowing until it eventually stops.

His grip against his spare needles tightens at the thought, the force so strong that it snaps the metal in half, the sound knocking him from his thoughts as he blinks down at you, a small sense of relief filling him because your chest is still steadily rising and falling.

Illumi carries you in his arms back to the manor, not minding the weight of your body holding him down.

And just as he passes through the gates, he feels what he thinks might be excitement brewing in his chest.

Life with Illumi will be, in all honesty, hell.

It’s not so much that he enjoys making you miserable or seeing you uncomfortable, but rather that he’s grown up with such intense expectations, such strict regimes and schedules that he upholds you to similar standards.

Of course, you won’t be going through training to become an assassin while you’re with him – no practice with combat or anything so violent, if only because Illumi’s worry over your safety prohibits him from allowing you anywhere near a knife or a fist cocked and ready to be swung.

(Not to mention the fact that he plans on you going absolutely nowhere without him, and as such there’s no reason for you to learn how to defend yourself. You don’t need to build up immunity to poison, how to most effectively snap a neck, or to learn any number of the cruel things that he thinks are much too unwomanly for someone like you.)

No, the schedule and timetables he puts you on are much more general, humiliating, dehumanizing – being told when you can and can’t use the restroom is something you’ll quickly come to realize takes away even the barest scrap of dignity and independence you have left under Illumi’s control.

He dictates what time you wake up, what you eat for each meal of the day, and your activities between meals - comprised mostly of more feminine things, as his mother advised you learn, like sewing and mending, floral arrangement, proper dining etiquette, and of course, lessons on how to properly raise children, taught by Kikyo herself.

(From the get go, it will be extremely apparent to you that the entirety of the Zoldyck family – Illumi included – expect offspring, assuming with little thought that you’ll be bearing the eldest son’s children in what Silva has expressed as sooner than you think with a small nod and poignant stare. Shivers had run down your spine at the way Illumi’s gaze on you seemed to only grow in intensity at his father’s comment, his cold fingers pressing against the small of your back in a way that made your skin crawl. Besides, the built in conception time, as Illumi so lovingly puts it, makes it more than obvious that he’s fucking you with the intent of getting you pregnant.)

It’s demeaning, the way you’re treated like some toddler, some incompetent idiot with the way Kikyo flutters around you, her shrill voice echoing through the corridors as you cower and obey.

It isn’t that you want to be obedient to a family you’ve come to realize is beyond fucked up, but you’ve also seen Illumi at work. He’s come home to you covered in blood, giving you a small smile as he awkwardly leans down to press a chaste kiss against your lips, his dark eyes staying open the whole time.

You don’t particularly want to be the submissive, obedient future mother of Illumi’s children like everyone in the manor is expecting you to be (with the exception of Killua, whom Illumi desperately wants you to get along with, and he may honestly be the only ray of light within this dark, musty home – at least he somewhat understands how fucked up the situation is, though he’s told you many times that there’s nothing he can do to help you).

But the constant threat of the fact that anyone in the house could kill you with a simple flick of the wrist is not lost on you, and while Illumi genuinely terrifies you for much of the first few months of your captivity, you quickly learn to obey his every word, to live to please him.

He’s really the only ally you have – he’s more forgiving, easier to try and wiggle your way out of a less severe punishment with, especially as you learn to predict his wishes.

He wants you to wear a certain kimono that he thinks looks beautiful on you? You hate the pattern on it and the way the style makes your figure look, but you scramble to slide into the fabric, trying to ignore his ever present stare boring into your naked body.

He wants you to come play with his hair, because he’s been told by his father that it feels nice and he’s seen couples do it? immediately you’re clambering to sit on the chair behind his seated position on the floor, running your fingers through his dark locks while he sits stick straight, silence enveloping the two of you.

He wants you to lay beside him while he rests, recovering his energy from a recent mission? You’re already slipping underneath the sheets, clearing a space for him and letting him wrap his arms around your waist and pull you against him.

(He’s so stiff even when he ‘cuddles’ you – his skin is so cold, his back straight, his grip on you tight enough to make you squirm, and the hot breath against your neck when he tells you that he’s missed you, my dear, my day is less bright without your presence will make you wince.)

Some of his wishes are, admittedly, much more difficult to obey than others, however – when he tells you to lay back and spread your legs while he’s shimmying off his pants, it’s difficult to not fight, to not cry and scream as he pushes into you, his eyebrows twitching together and his pale fists clenching by your head as he slowly begins humping into you.

He isn’t necessarily bad to you per se, though quickly his family picks up on his cluelessness on how to truly treat a spouse, and so after a few comments from Silva about how to properly woo you (maybe she will be less unruly, and you may have more luck producing children this way as well) he actually does take his advice and try to make at least some attempt at romancing you.

He’s telling you robotically delivered compliments, buying you bouquets of roses, even rewarding your good behavior with small knick knacks from your old apartment and life – but it’s not enough; the fear of him is still far greater than the almost charming awkwardness he exudes in moments of intimacy and tenderness will ever be.

You’ll essentially become a submissive, sweet little housewife under Illumi’s care, and even if you hate it, even if you try with everything you have to not be subjected to the future of bearing his children, holding the famous last name of Zoldyck, and being completely subservient to the man who kidnapped you and forcefully began a ‘relationship’ with you, Illumi and the rest of his family have ways of making sure you stay in line.

And before long, you’ll grow to accept your place, to realize that there is absolutely nothing you can do.

PUNISHMENTS:

In all honesty, Illumi rarely gets actually mad at you – he’s much more frequently disappointed when you don’t behave correctly, when you fight him or make some weak attempt at escaping.

He doesn’t get mad, but there is this small sense of pity that he feels when he watches you cry and beg him to not come any closer, to please let me go, I promise I won’t tell anyone what happened! Please, I don’t want to be with you or your sick family!

It hurts, if he’s being honest, but he knows that in order to train you, to mold you into the perfect spouse and future mother of his children, he needs to be patient.

Dogs can’t be expected to follow commands from the very beginning, right?

And so, when he kneels down to where you’re curled up in the corner of your shared room, his dark hair hanging around you like a curtain while his wide eyes never blink and stay situated on you, he’s merely tilting his head and asking in a voice much too serious to be natural, oh but darling, can’t you see you’re already part of this family? Now, dinner is to be ready in thirty minutes. I need to properly prepare you.

He actually has a surprising amount of patience with you – you make him soft (or at least as soft as he can be, though anyone that knows him well can spot the differences in his treatment and air around you), and he doesn’t really want to harm you or scare you.

It’s a necessary evil in his eyes, though if he had his way, he’d train you to the point where you’re willingly looking at him with love.

He’d train you until you’re welcoming him home with a sweet kiss to his cheek after a long job with a toddler clutching at your legs, a baby suckling at your breast and a swollen belly telling him and the rest of the world exactly who you belong to, your lovesick cry of his name when you see him making the smile plastered onto his lips that much more genuine.

You make him feel, something so foreign and strange, and to Illumi this new, small amount of emotion feels downright overwhelming, something so strong and powerful and wonderful. It’s addicting, truly, something that he finds himself actively wanting, a concept he’s never felt before towards anything except bringing back Killua.

And so while he doesn’t particularly enjoy punishing you, it’s worth it to keep those feelings alive, to build up to the point where his fantasies of your domestic future with one another come to fruition.

So really, while he doesn’t get mad at you very often, he won’t hesitate to dole out punishments where he sees fit – it’s all for a greater purpose, he tells you, though you have your doubts.

Besides, there’s something even more disturbing about him punishing you when he isn’t even angry – it’s worse because it all just seems so pointless; maybe if he was yelling you would understand why he’s doing what he’s doing. He’d seem human, maybe, capable of emotion – instead, you get those familiar, dead eyes staring at you, his expression carefully neutral as he tells you that this is for your own sake, my dear, and one day you’ll see that.

When it comes to actually punishing you, Illumi’s aversion to causing you any sort of physical harm prevents him from inflicting a whole varietyof punishments onto you – he doesn’t want to taint your delicate skin, to break a bone, to do any number of things that he’s been told over and over by his family would help.

(Milluki insists that breaking both of your legs would be a good way to prevent any kind of behavior targeted around trying to escape, and while Illumi understands the logic and even agrees with it, the look of your teary eyes staring up at him and your desperate pleads to not hurt you are simply too much.)

(Milluki also suggests, with a crude grin and a gulp, that perhaps letting him try a hand at getting you to cooperate would be helpful – besides, he’ll add with a smarmy smile and his tongue flicking out over his lips, a Zoldyck heir is a Zoldyck heir, doesn’t matter who knocked her up, right? That night, Milluki ended up with the broken bone rather than you.)

He isn’t sure why he’s so incapable of hurting you considering his profession, but he just can’t – and so, he finds other methods.

Namely, your mental state is completely fair game; he’s training you after all, and when the basement of the Zoldyck mansion is just so expansive, so cold and wet and so very dark, how can he not use that to his advantage?

Your eyes are casted downwards, your voice soft and unsure as you ask if you can see my family again? Kikyo mentioned that it’s December, and there’s an important birthday in the family this month that I’d like to celebrate with them…

Illumi had been cuddling you (or, at least holding you in his arms while he lay on his side, completely frozen and inhaling the scent of your hair again and again while you uncomfortably squirmed around), but the moment those words tumble from your lips, he’s blinking pensively, pondering your statement.

I don’t know of any birthdays in the family this month.

When you try again, telling him that it’s your family you’re talking about, the one you were raised in and that you love, immediately he’s cutting you off.

My dear, you must be mistaken. The nearest birthday is Grandfather’s, and that isn’t for another month.

His voice is firmer this time, as if he’s trying to tell you something, but some part of you refuses to silently accept his blatant dismissal of your request.

Illumi you don’t understand, it’s –

his grip is tightening even more, practically suffocating you as his nails dig into your exposed arms, his voice somewhere between a hiss and a scold.

No, my love, you don’t understand. Don’t speak of them. They are no longer your family – you are a Zoldyck now, and you’ll forget all of those past imposters. You will not, under any circumstances, be allowed to see them again. Now, come with me.

And it’s not like you have much of a choice – as he picks you up and brings you down the stairs, endless winding hallways that steadily grow colder and colder the deeper you head, you’re flailing, apologizing profusely, anything to not have to spend another few nights in the basement.

And while Illumi doesn’t enjoy the tears that stream down your cheeks, he stays strong and ties you to the chains connected to the walls – loose enough that you can be seated on the ground, but tight enough to restrict any movement.

Once you’re stationary, he stands before you and stares, the light from the door behind him illuminating his figure.

I expect you to tell me who your real family is when I return.

And with that, he’s walking out the room and slamming the door shut behind him, leaving you shrouded in darkness, with nothing but the sound of your own breathing and heartbeat to entertain you.

He generally leaves you down there for three days, give or take – enough to have you dehydrated, your stomach growling and rumbling painfully at the lack of food, cold seeping into your bones and leaving you shivering and shaking, all the while fear envelopes you because there’s something here with you, you just know it.

The sounds coming from the corner of the room are too difficult to ignore, though you have no idea what it could be. You presume it’s some sort of creature, designed to kill you if Illumi so desires, the scuttling noise making fear creep up your spine every time you hear it. The sounds are ryhtmic, predictable, always going off in roughly thirty minute intervals, leading you to believe the creature is smart, or at least trained to be so.

It’s terrifying and your mind will conjure up images of terrifying, grotesque beasts in its bored and fearful state, but in reality the monster in question is Illumi himself – he grows so dependent on you that he can’t be away from you for more than about a day, so he treats himself to hiding in the shadows and simply watching you.

You’re very pretty, even when you’re crying and covered in dirt and covered in your own piss, and it’s in those moments that Illumi truly realizes how deeply his feelings for you run, how badly he wants you to be his everything. He just can’t stop looking at you, those dark eyes raking over your figure over and over and over, moving his position roughly every thirty minutes to get a new angle of you.

(Though, it’s not like he needs to see you to remember what you look like from this angle, he’s stalked you so thoroughly and so heavily that he could draw your face in his sleep with pinpoint accuracy, your features metaphorically carved behind his eyelids so that he’ll always see you you you when he blinks.)

And when he eventually opens the door once more, light cracking into the room and making you violently blink, he’s asking if you’ve learned your lesson yet, if you’re finally understanding who your real family is, and immediately you’re practically yelling that yes, I understand! I’m a Zoldyck, the Zoldycks are my real family! I love them and I love you, Illumi, because I’m your wife and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be!

(If you were in a better state of mind you’d have the energy to be ashamed of yourself, but you’re so desperate to get out of this cellar and into the warmth, to drink something and eat something and be away from the thing trapped in there with you that you just don’t care.)

He nods, satisfied, and opens the locks, only to blink in surprise when you wobbly embrace him, sobbing into his chest and clutching onto his clothes because even though he’s unnaturally cold, he’s still warmer than the hell you’ve been in for the last three days.

And while he’s not the best at physical affection, he’ll wrap his arms around you and pull you tighter, crushing you against his hard chest whispering in your ear that he’s so glad you’ve finally accepted your place.

OVERALL DANGER:

9/10

The danger that lies with being Illumi’s darling is honestly just the fact that once he chooses you, there is absolutely no chance of escaping him.

He’s a trained assassin with connections everywhere; outside of death itself, there’s no way for you to get away from him, no matter how hard you try or who you manage to recruit into aiding you.

(And even if you were to somehow manage to kill yourself, Illumi will keep your dead body by his side – holding it at night while he sleeps, propping you in a chair across from him while he eats and carries on a one sided conversation about work that day, even going so far as to fuck your cold, lifeless body just to feel you.)

He’s lived his whole life feeling nothing at all, and the second that you inspire any bit of emotion within him, his whole perspective seems to alter just slightly, something warm and strange and good blooming in his chest. It’s something completely foreign, but the longer it goes on the more he decides the likes it, growing used to the feeling and craving more of it, finding himself yearning – yes, yearning – to feel it once more when he’s been away from you for long periods of time.

Once he realizes that the common cause of this feeling is you, Illumi is deciding that you’re the one he’ll be adding to the Zoldyck family as his partner, his spouse, his lover.

You’ll be the one to bear his children and continue on the name, all while he gets to enjoy the strange warmth in his chest, the odd protectiveness that forces him to keep you locked up, safe from the outside world, the strange urge he feels to reach out and touch you, to see you smile, to feel your lips against his own.

And so while he won’t ever directly physically harm you, your mental state will be destroyed, and you’ll be in constant fear that someday he’ll decide you aren’t worth the trouble, that once he impregnates you and you give him a few heirs, he’ll kill you off effortlessly.

These fears will never, ever see fruition of course, but the trouble with Illumi is that you just never know.

He’s skilled in the art of killing, but his skills in lying are quite formidable as well – you can never truly tell when he’s being honest with you, and while he’s never fully lied to you (only misrepresented facts and led you to believe something that may not be entirely true), you’ll live in a constant state of unease because you’re so, so very aware that he could kill you with a mere flick of his wrist if he so desired, and what’s stopping him? He claims to be in love, but in what world is this love?

And you, lucky lucky you, get the lovely package deal of not only him, but his fucked up family as well – so good luck, and really, just let him mold you into the perfect, obedient little wife he wants you to be.

You’ll be much, much happier in the end.

#yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere illumi #yandere illumi zoldyck #_hxh #_illumi zoldyck #_lee's profiles

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