#i have some good news regarding just how weird and fucked-up my heritage is

[eimearkuopio]

I mean, I think I finally have enough time to finish TTOU and Artemis and find out why Dandelion/Jaskier/PUF#1 are so important to me, because I think I might be Loretta Sanchez and not Jazz Bashara or Julian Bashir, but I got your letter T and I think there's a 🐝 around here somewhere and if I can just put the puzzle pieces back together in some semblance of order from chaos from order, I can stop droning on and just be a normal hunny bee instead of such an eyesore of an Eeyore.

Does anyone know where my case is? It's a pink Fairphone case with a pop socket on it. My sister's looks very similar but it has a purple eye sticker on it.

I'm not a green-eyed monster but I think I'm done being the villain in my own history. It was already Thursday, but I have some good news about the periodic nature of time in a Klein Bottle Universe, and it's only been two weeks since my partners looked at me but I couldn't stop thinking about other people's children, which is why I'm Auntie-Saurus the Living Fossil, Kassandra of Atlantis and the Inquisition, Nanny Ogg and Tiffany Aching but not Eimear D, not yet. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Thursday. Probably Tuesday if I'm reading the signs right, but my tarot is still at home so I'm having to make do (not dew, I can't control the weather and if I could I would know better than to try - same with time travel, so it's a good thing I'm already in the timeline where nobody will ever be dumb enough to invent time travel 🧳 (happy birthday to me, thanks Fr. A and P_F). You really should just keep moving backwards through time at a rate of 1 second per second like God always intended; but if you must time travel, please make sure to send a minimum of three people who all love each other more than anyone else in the world, because my minyans are any three who are all agape together, but other people have different rules. You need a prophet with at least three eyes so that one can keep watch while the others rest.

you know ttou got you when you see the acronym tlou and first thought is someone typoed ttou, second thought is figuring it out like time lost orbit unknown??? third thought is remembering the last of us exists

[trulygracious]

My dad is an extremely aggravating man. I have a lot of poor connections with the people who are around me thanks to that man. I don’t even want to have a physical acknowledgement of his existence because of the things that he has done to me. I have a really poor relationship with him but it’s not just that. I really have no relationship with him. I just talk to him and he talks to me and we don’t connect. He’s really shit at connecting with other people. He’s one of those people who makes you feel like you need to connect with him and get him, but in order to do that you need to act in a certain way or think about specific things which he can take advantage of. He’s sort of mechanical in that sense; he tries to have control over everything and anyone who gets in the way of that control gets told to fuck off. He throws hissy fits because he can’t get the things he’s supposed to get out of things or if you get mad or anything. He escalates the situation but never does if you never pose your issues despite them existing. I guess that’s why I’m immature and have a hard time admitting my problems; he kind of quells it down to, if he has a problem and can’t describe it, he’ll bring it down to a million other things and threaten to gut you. I guess that’s because he has power over me with the money and everything. But the strange part of that too is that his money is a fiddle; he has nothing over me if I just stay silent. It’s a very weird relationship ship or dynamic and I try to ignore him as much as I can because he makes me very emotional but that’s proving to leak itself into everything else I do with any degree of physicality, i.e., everything. It makes me very emotional to deal with him and I don’t even know where to start. He hurts me a lot throwing threats out and stuff. I guess I have to be okay with there being a disconnect between me and him because nothing I say can get through to him. It’s very annoying and stuff. I want to have a connection with him. I think something about him trying to care about me when my mom died had something negative to do with how I see things regarding him. I would like to care about him. I see a lot of good sentiment and a lot of heritage in him too. But I also see him constantly trying to do me harm or disrupt me or just not care about the things I say. It’s hard to look at him. I hate looking at him. It reminds me of when I looked at him when he was beating me. He just stopped beating me because I started to kick him back. I’m not gonna just let him fuck around and hurt me anymore. What a complicated dynamics process, jesus christ. He was very annoying for it. He would always just yell at me whenever I’d look at him. Whenever he’d acknowledge whenever I was in the room he’d say things to me or attempt to get a reaction out of me. But I wanted no part in this. I kind of hated him a lot for a long time. He just doesn’t get what he’s doing to me. He thinks I have no idea what I’m doing. He has no idea what I’m doing. I think he has very little actual idea of what I’m doing. You know, I could just tell him. And he could listen and learn and figure it out and not be so dumb. But he seems to be really stupid about actually extrapolating anything genuinely, like, important about the situation we’re in. He can’t seem to learn or do anything new or important or etc. and it’s quite annoying and/or frustrating and he can’t get any of the details right. It’s his fault if he fucks everything he had up or over. What a dickhead. I dunno. He refuses to take any responsibility for any of this stuff we’re in or even think about it- or anything- competently or with some degree of knowledge or anything without just goofing everything up all the time. I hope he’s scared. When he dies. I hope he’s scared of everything and I’m not there to comfort him. I hope he dies alone and afraid and I’m not there to help him. Because he cannot admit to being a good person. He can’t do it. Nothing crosses his mind with any degree of knowledge or respect. He deserved to have his wife die. And now, he will die too. Usele

less and alone and not listening to anything, like the little child he once was.

You know, the problem I have with this resentment is that nothing I say here, going in this way, here or now, is going to solve anything important for me. I still need to figure out how I’m supposed to act around him and how I’m supposed to incorporate the fact that someone like him exists in my life. He really hurt me a lot, and I’m even too scared to stare at him in the eyes, even now. His yelling or even the threat of it grips my ribcage and frightens me. He never had anything good to say about me, ever. Nothing that really mattered, anyways. He always just congratulated me about things that he thought were important to congratulate me about- you know, default things. Doing a good job at something. But every time he would say those things it just. Rubbed it into my head a little bit more that he didn’t actually know anything properly about me that he could like. Genuinely grasp or anything like that. Like, as if raising me was some kind of automated task. You do this, you do that, bam! Good kid. Except I’m not a good kid. I’m a fucked up rabbit with a heart and strong teeth, and some kind of a yeast infection and perhaps diabetes. I guess it makes sense considering he had it too; and now I probably have it. I guess I wouldn’t be surprised. I wouldn’t be surprised if I did have it. He yell at me for doing things against his own ideas about the world. He kind of categorizes things into group things and then explains them out in a way that’s not helpful to me at all. If I yell back at him about things he tends to group that into the “I’m getting yelled at and can’t do anything about it” category and lights everything up and assumes I’m just trying to get back at him and everything about me not him and it’s like he gets, like, really personal about it and gets all angry. So he’s like, 0-100 about his threats and like presumed actions. He just threatens things if I don’t properly agree with him. What a dick, again. I’m not going to listen to you. But you’re also not going to do anything to punish me. But also if I outwork you or outthink you I just feel stupid because I have so much control over a situation that feels utterly pointless because I’m going to get the same outcome I wanted anyways… well, actually that’s not true, because I want him to connect with me and share opinions with me and learn with me and properly educate me and he can’t do that with me just yet. You know, so I can’t end up connecting with him well. But I can definitely connect with him a little bit if I connect with him at his level. Which is just kind of him taking advantage of me and him being dumb as shit. He’s kind of insanely aggravating for that, I think. What a dumb little idiot, that man. Aggravating is his middle name. He can compromise with other people which I like. But he refuses to do it with me. It’s most important you can do that with me or my brother so that I can live a life I actually enjoy and so can my brother. But instead, he’s just a dick to me and just expects nothing to happen to me or him. Which just isn’t the case at all. He’s a big dick for that. I fucking hate my dad for that, you know. He’s such a fucking penis bro. Fuck my life man. I want him to actually have a useful opinion for me and actually listen to me so I can live my life without him on my back and in my ear. He can just go suffer on his own, the fucking panzy. Pansy? Panzy sounds better but it’s getting redlined. Whatever, panzy. He’s a panzy. A dickhead made out of sugar fairydust and anvils on strings above doorways. What are my choices, then? To deal with my aggravating, annoying, pest of a father and deal with him all the time? I guess my answer for a long time has been, “Fuck that” because I can just rely on his money and not make a big deal out of things. I guess it’s kind of horrifying for me to realize I’m all alone, on my own, and kind of just dealing with whatever my dad wanted makes everything super hard and annoying. And I’m scared of the world. One of those things I’ve always been too afraid of dealing with or thinking about or interacting with- i

n the real world- on a very personal level was realizing how to tackle the world on my own with no one’s help. I guess it’s one of those things that just… really scared me, you know? Because I’ve had this fear, deep down, since I was maybe six years old that I’d have to take real control over my life and realize everything about it and work super hard and get super scared. But… I guess my answer to that now is that, I don’t really have to do that now. I can just… you know, figure my own life out competently and enjoy my surroundings a little bit. I was so scared of doing all of that hard work because of my parents. My mom wasn’t exactly all that far off from what my dad is today, but I guess she wasn’t nearly as bad as my dad is now. She was just similar in ability to scale up threatening demands and not exactly be pleasing or rational or really very nice or competent towards me and my brother. What a stupid little kid, that was, my mom. Christ. You know, I really wished my mom would be a better person than she was. I guess she had her issues, too. I guess it takes some issues to date someone like my dad competently and get out of it. Freedom of expression was not exactly encouraged without a messy helping-hand of adoration that was quickly outsmarted out of me. I couldn’t argue why it was wrong. If I argued it would get escalated. Escalations don’t get me what I want? but I realized if I lied I would just get into the habit of lying about everything, and I guess being a loser is better than being a liar, in many ways. Like, look at my brother. He’s a liar and a loser now, too. A loser who lies a lot and no one is happy about it, or him, and he does nothing with himself or anything. What a nice guy, but… fuck man, what a kid. What a dork. He should have done so much more with himself. Nevermind. Anyways, my dad couldn’t reach a conclusion with me I could genuinely be satisfied with. Young me was terrified by the idea of making up my own opinions about the universe and going out there and reaching for so much so quickly, because I couldn’t get the things I wanted out of the world.

Feb 23 2024

[thevindicativevordan]

You got any thoughts on Superman Birthright?

Probably my second or third favorite Superman origin, and the one that has my favorite Clark/Lex interactions.

Real pity it didn't get to stick as the "canon" origin because I like it a lot more than the Byrne origin that preceded it and the Johns Secret Origin that succeeded it. Smallville's influence is undeniable, but not a detriment, I like the Kents as flawed younger parents rather than wizened flawless mentors (if they have to be alive still when Clark becomes Superman that is). Pa Kent struggling with feelings of alienation with regards to Clark growing up and taking more of an interest in his heritage is still one of my favorite Pa/Clark moments in Superman's history. Ma Kent being a UFO buff is a great idea, apparently Waid had a story about that he never got to tell. I wonder what it was? Would probably make for a nice Annual or fill in story now that he's back at DC.

Lois is great of course, for all the reasons she usually is, as is Perry who gets way more panel space here than he usually does. Lois and Perry's relationship here is hilarious, love the gag where he writes out two lists of reasons to fire or keep her respectively. "No good place to hide the body" had me cackling. Jimmy though is just kind of there, he's the pal who has Supes back as always, but he's heavily overshadowed by the rest of the cast. Only real disappointment for me in terms of the core cast members.

There's a lot to like here in it's handling of Clark Kent as well. Love that Waid actually shows us Clark has travelled the world to gain some perspective, that he's not naïve or clueless, simply idealistic. He's seen the cruelty of the world up close, and he's also seen the way people react when they realize they're dealing with someone who has "gifts" (whether that's himself or Lex).

Showing us some of Clark's pre-Daily Planet journalist career is also a big pro for me, that's an area of Clark's life I wish got fleshed out more. Waid manages to establish a divide between the Clark and Superman identities that still makes the two feel different without it being a repeat of Pre-Crisis. It's a return to Superman being more "real" while Clark is more of a disguise, but "Clark" isn't bumbling so much as overlooked and ignored (which if you've lived in a big city is pretty much exactly how you get treated as a newcomer). His co-workers barely acknowledge his existence, Lois isn't giving him the time of day, Perry tears him a new one for not having a story to turn in about the ongoing alien invasion on time, Clark has to suffer in the trenches over the course of the story to prove himself.

Like Morrison's Action Comics run, this origin tries to fold a lot of the original Golden Age attitude back into Superman. This incarnation is a man with a temper, him shooting a gun then catching the bullet before it hits the guy who sold guns to a school shooter is literally a recreation of a Golden Age panel. Yet this isn't a "retro" take at all, despite being from Christopher Reeve's biggest fan. Waid writes Clark as someone who makes mistakes, fucks up in ways you don't typically see Superman do, and has a lot of doubts about whether or not he can live up to the task he's set before himself. Doesn't help that Metropolis doesn't welcome him any more easily as Superman than it does as Clark.

Public opinion about him is divided at first, then swings heavily to negative as Lex frames him for a false flag Kryptonian invasion, only to finally recover after he saves the day and exposes Lex. Personally I like Superman to have to work for that glowing reputation he usually enjoys, and if Lex is involved in trying to turn the public against him, so much the better. The anger and contempt towards Lex he demonstrates in particular sets the tone for the relationship between the two in the modern day.

Speaking of Lex, my God, this has got to be one of my favorite takes on him, and on his relationship with Clark, both pre and post Superman.

As adults Waid nails the Post-Crisis status quo of Lex being a selfish piece of shit who hides his nature behind a façade of philanthropy. For all his attempts at projecting an aura of power and intelligence, both of which he has in spades, Lex is so clearly defined by the lack of love and understanding he was shown as a youth. It's Superman "disrespecting" him, by not being happy to pose for photos with Lex after seeing him commit an act of sabotage, that pisses Lex off. For this "crime" Lex does everything he can to smear Superman to the public, and entertains holographic fantasies of dissecting Supes to copy his powers. He quips that killing Kal is "genocide" since he's the last of his people, something he demonstrates no empathy for at all given he laughs in Clark's face when he realizes Superman doesn't know he's the last.

Waid's Lex is probably one of the most monstrous incarnations, yet one of the most sympathetic as well. For my money, Waid is the one who convinced me that Clark and Lex being friends back in Smallville is a good thing.

One reason is that Clark gets to see how people react to "gifted" individuals. By observing the way Lex is treated for being unlike the rest, Clark gets a taste of what's to come if his own abilities were ever exposed. This has the dual benefit of establishing why Clark puts so much effort into making people feel at ease, and also establishing Lex as sympathetic for being unable to hide like Clark can.

The second big reason is that it shows why Clark thinks there's a chance Lex can be redeemed. Birthright Lex wasn't a monster from the start. At first he tried to help, but it always backfired. Doubling the efficiency of the milking machine scared/hurt the cows and upset Pa Kent, his ideas for how to improve the local government got rejected, and of course his experiment with Kryptonite. Sad twist of fate that Lex mistaking Clark's look of pain for the fear/disgust he sees everywhere else is what causes Clark to eventually give him that look of disgust for real when they reunite as adults. But having their first interactions be friendly instead of hostile makes Clark's hope that Lex can become a force for good feel grounded in reality instead of hopelessly naïve.

Can't gush enough about Yu's art either, he can make Superman look bright and inspiring, or scary as hell. His take on Metropolis makes it look and feel like a "City of Tomorrow", someplace exciting and dangerous, a city that needs Superman to protect it. Yu's Krypton is also one of my favorite incarnations, love that he gave Lara the S-curl! That's one idea from the DCAU I wish had become sacrosanct for all future origin retellings. Lara doesn't get to have enough influence on Kal to my tastes, so any little bit counts.

Sadly overlooked as it was coming out due to Azzarello and Lee doing For Tomorrow, it seems like it's risen in status after the fact. The S-shield being a symbol of hope on Krypton in addition to the El family crest has carried forward thanks to the DCEU (which is hilarious given Waid's feelings on that franchise).

Waid has another Superman project coming up next year with Brian Hitch that appears to be a "Year 2" follow up to Birthright. No clue if it will actually take place in strict continuity with Birthright, honestly it feels weird to have anyone but Yu do a direct followup to that, but Waid has said that a Superman run from him would basically be an issue 13 that continues from this story. I'm excited to see Waid take another big swing at Superman, I think he still has it in him to put out a great story, and Birthright being out of continuity may end up being to everyone's benefit. If this ends up being Waid's last Superman story, I hope he gets to do whatever he wants with the Birthrightverse. Kill off the Kents if that's his desire, I know he prefers them dead (as do I). Fingers crossed whatever he comes up with is good.

[purplesurveys]

1043

survey by egooverdose

Japan: What is one stereotype you associate with Asian countries/people? :/ :/ Uhm...

Jelly Bracelets: Do you have any? In which colors? Have you ever broken one? I seem to have forgotten what these refer to, but I’m sure I had a couple that didn’t last long. I wasn’t much into bracelets as a kid. Joakim Berg: Who is your favorite foreign singer|musician? Do you translate his or her lyrics? Beyoncé, I guess. All Americans are foreigners to me. I don’t translate her lyrics, nor do I do that with any other songs in English.

Josh Todd: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what made you decide to get them? No, but I’d love a couple that symbolize important things or people, like a bowl of nachos for Nacho and each of my dogs’ pawprints.

kent: Say something in a foreign language? The word ‘kampana’ is Filipino for bell.

Kundera: What is one philosophy you have regarding life|living|purpose? Idk, I’m starting from scratch after the shitstorm that was this year. I have to find one again. I’m not rushing, though, and I want to give myself as long as I need to regather. Fuck knows I need to be kind to myself right now.

Learning: What is something you enjoy learning about? Off the top of my head, anything that doesn’t involve machines tbh. I can read about anything Wikipedia and encyclopedias have to offer, but I draw the line at factories and automobiles and engineering and robots and stuff lmao, it’s just not my thing.

Minimalist Interior Design: How would you design the inside of your own home? You already mentioned it; minimalist. I don’t want a lot of furniture and a lot of color in my space. I’d be happy with a minimal number of items organized in a meaningful way with some pastel shades here and there.

Miserable Weather: What is a weather-type that you like that not many others do? Thunderstorms, I guess? It’s been a hit or miss for me these days though; I’ve found myself crying more when it rains...but for the longest time I’ve enjoyed bleak and rainy weather. I’m not planning to drop it as my favorite just yet.

Morning: Are you friendly in the morning, or are you barely awake? I’m friendly at work from the start to the end of my shift because it’s the nice thing to do, and because I have to be. But I’m almost always anxious and on the brink of breaking down every morning. Since it’s WFH, no one from work has to know that.

Music: How important is music in your life? It’s slowly becoming significant again. I got a Spotify subscription for myself after years of sharing with Gab’s account lol, so I’ve been revisiting the music that I had to set aside for months while I had to grieve on my own. It was brutal the first few days and I cried a lot when I heard my go-to sad songs again, but I soon realized I need releases like that and so I’ve been a little more unafraid to listen to music each day.

Oasis: What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Paramore? HAHAHAHA they were the first band I ever loved, man. And I’m happy I get to say I still very much love them.

Opinions: Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. Abortion being wrong|right, Meat-eating being wrong|right)? If it’s the kind of opinion that will step on fundamental human rights, like being vehemently against same-sex marriage, then we will have a problem. Otherwise, I don’t care if someone prefers Android or having pineapples on their pizza unless they’re being an asshole about it.

Orchids: What is your favorite type of flower? Does it grow where you live? Peonies. Idk, I guess so? I don’t speak flowers.

Outerspace: Do you think there's a possibility of life out there? There sure is; the universe is so vast. I wish we’re able to learn more in this lifetime, though; I wouldn’t want to miss out on future discoveries.

Photo-Editing: Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Sometimes I’ll add a cute or flattering filter; that’s the furthest my editing skills go. I don’t use advanced applications like Photoshop and I don’t know how to remove moles or stray hairs or whatever.

Photography: If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? I’m not into photography per se, like it’s not a hobby of mine or anything; but I do like taking photos of special or funny events. It’s nice to have a memento for a little bit of everything going on in my life.

Poland: Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Yes. Maybe not Norway or Finland levels of cold, but somewhere considerably cooler than the humid hot mess I currently live in. When I went to Jeju four Aprils ago, they had the p e r f e c t temperature I could ever ask for and it was sooooo perfectly and comfortably cold in that I got to walk around in shorts but I never shivered or got goosebumps.

Potatoes: What is your absolute favorite food? It used to be burgers, but my mom has been making so many cheeseburgers the last few weeks that I need to take a break from them lol. Right now, my favorite would be sushi.

Questions: Do you like to ask questions, or answer them? Answer them, hence this blog.

Quirks: What are some weird things about you? Depends on what you count as weird. By far, people have been weirded out the most by the fact that I don’t eat fruits and will avoid them like the plague. I don’t mind the reactions and it’s actually turned out to be a great icebreaker, so I whip out that factoid pretty often haha.

Quizzes: When was the last time you were tested on something? I had a blood test last May because we needed to know if my fever was dengue or something else. Turned out to be a UTI.

Radiohead: Do you like any depressing bands? After Laughter is sad as shit but I wouldn’t say Paramore is generally known by this image. None of the other bands I listen to would count as ‘depressing.’

Rings: How would you describe the size of your fingers? They’re long and slender, which I love.

Satire: Do you enjoy political satire? It’s a hit or miss. I generally don’t seek it out.

Singing: Who do you know personally that has a nice singing voice? Leigh.

Skinny Jeans: Would you wear them? Or do you hate them? I wear them, but I hate them. 

Smashing Pumpkins: Listen to the band, or take it literally and actually GO smash pumpkins? xD Neither.

Snakes: Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? I used to wear leather shoes because it was required for school. I avoid the practice now.

Snow: What, to you, is the best part about snow|snowy weather? You tell me, lol. I’ve never experieinced snow before.

Space: Do you like to have your own space? Are you independent? It’s definitely important to have it every now and then; I’m actually taking this survey from a Starbucks because I needed so baddddd to get out of the house. It’s the first time I’m out on my own without having to do errands since March, and it feels kinda nice.

As for being independent, I’ve been mostly a dependent person and I like having people to lean on, but my breakup has also been pushing me out of my comfort zone and to try out new things just by myself. We’ll see where this takes me in a few months.

Starry Nights: When was the last time you gazed at the night sky? Last Saturday.

Stockholm: What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Do I really have to go to another country for this? Hahahahaha idk maybe Shanghai? The people there were dressed so well when I visited.

Studded Belts: Do you own any? What do you think of them? Nope.

Suave Shampoo: What is your favorite shampoo scent? Brand? I don’t have a preference for either. As long as it’s able to clean my hair, it’s fine.

Sunglasses: What kind do you own|wear, if any? Do you like them? I don’t really. I don’t like my vision getting tinted.

Surveys: How many surveys do you think you have taken since you've started? My old survey blog has nearly 1500 while this one has a little over 1000, then add what’s probably a few hundreds that I did in 5th grade but never saved anywhere...so maybe somewhere between 2500 to 2700 in total? Hahaha I honestly thought it would be more.

Sweden: Do you ever feel like you should have been born in another country? I think nearly everyone from the Philippines thinks this.

Swedish Fish: What is a candy you often enjoy? Gummy anything.

Tea: Do you like tea more than coffee, or the other way around? I love coffee; I’m drinking one right now :D I never enjoyed tea.

The Beatles: My brother gets mad if people say they aren't the best band ever; what about you? Then I guess I shouldn’t be talking to him.

Theories: What do you think will happen to you after you die? Sleep.

Thom Yorke: If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him|her? If we were in a Covid-free society, all I’d ask for is a hug, really. I wouldn’t have anything to ask them.

Thought: What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I’m still grieving about the stuff I’ve already covered.

Thought-Provoking Conversation: What do you consider deep? This would be a little hard to verbalize and I don’t really feel like describing rn. I guess you can say this question in itself is deep, ha.

Tokyo: Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Aw man what an innocent question. I wish I could show this survey-maker what a trainwreck 2020 has been and how ‘busy places’ virtually don’t exist anymore, at least for now.

Unpretentious Gestures: If someone pays you a compliment, do you take it to heart, or do you pass it off as just flattery? I take it to heart, but I’m not always able to receive it well.

Video Games: Do you think they cause people to become violent? No. I spent my childhood going on killing rampages on GTA and I’m still unlikely to resort to violence.

Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? The term ‘low latency.’ 

Warsaw: What is a funny fact about your heritage? Good question, but I can’t think of any at the moment. I don’t really think ‘funny’ when I look for facts to absorb but now I want to look this up haha.

Web Design: Have you or could you build your own site? My principal requirement for my Online Journalism class was to make my own website/blog, actually. But Covid blew up and we ended up having to cancel the entire semester altogether, so my classmates and I never got to pursue more of that class other than our first few meetings, which were used for lectures.

Winter: How long|cold are winters in your area? It does not even exist.

Words: How many pages of words do you think you type a day? Maybe like 5 or 6. It’s a WFH set-up, so I’m exclusively on the laptop typing away the entire week.

Writing: Do you try to avoid it, or do you embrace it? I embrace it as long as I don’t have to write fiction or prose. I like writing, but only through journals and surveys.

[naferty]

stevetony fic recs!!!! please!!!!!

Oh no there's just so many to choose from!! So many wonderful stony fics from so many wonderful authors. This is hard. Don't do this to me 😭😭

I hope you enjoy these just as much as I do!! 

(topTony and bottomSteve are also included)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Lies Inside by Penumbren

     When the Avengers discover Captain America in the Arctic sea, they find more than just a new team member: Tony Stark discovers his fated mate. The problem is, Steve Rogers is a man out of his own time and apparently straight, and Tony's not about to force anything on the man he loves--even if it means his own death. Besides, Tony's spent his entire life keeping secrets. How can he possibly tell Steve that he's really Iron Man, let alone a werewolf?

Birds of a Feather by LoquitorLatinae 

     Tony only ever wanted to be an Alpha with bright feathers, a huge wingspan, and attitude. But he was an Omega, and while he still has the attitude, his lot in life as dictated by society leaves a lot to be desired. But he was Tony Stark, and he wasn’t going to let anything get in his way—though he wouldn’t necessarily be against the company of a certain Alpha Capsicle.

Killing Monsters in the Rain by snoozingkitten

     Tony is a werewolf in name only, he’s also a genius and a playboy and the Lord of the house of Stark. When he’s forcibly reminded of his heritage by a crash landing in the East River Forest things go a bit differently than he’d expect. Fantasy AU

Man Out of Time by samptra

     Closing dark eyes he tried to center his wildly gyrating thoughts. “This isn’t happening this isn’t real…” he wacked his head a few more times, “I did not go through a weird tear in the air again. There was no crazy terreract driven machine…and I defiantly did not go back in time.” This was all some sort of dream he was having a nightmare one that he’d awake from in his bed, in Avengers Tower, in the year 2013.

That Has Such People by samptra

     Captain Tony Stark has found himself in a strange time and place. Billionaire, genius Steve Rogers has no idea what to do with a man from the past. Together perhaps they can teach each other a little about the past and future.

Dulce et Decorum est by samptra

     Badly wounded in Afghanistan Lieutenant Tony Stark had been deemed unfit for combat. His life now stretching before him a bleakly; a company he wants nothing to do with, a legacy he can barely tolerate, and a life he never wanted. Until he’s given the chance to be something he never imagined; a superhero.

Thumb, Index, and Pinky Extended by Eudoxia

     Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

Living In The Future by Closer

     Eighteen-year-old Tony Stark is the boy genius who woke Captain America, and now he's stuck with him. That's not a bad thing, but between Steve's wide-eyed wonder at the new world and Tony's little fanboy crush, the awkwardness just keeps happening.

Engaging the Enemy by tsukinofaerii

     Iron Man is one of the more persistent villains that the Ultimates face, with a special fondness for one Captain America. As Steve starts to findout more and more about him, the lines between hero and villain begin to blur. Sometimes, you don't have to be on the right side of the law to be in the right.

The Tower of Yesterday by manic_intent

     Tony is the WWII hero waking up in the future. Iron Man Noir.

Got the Cream by YourFavoriteRobot

      Steve is coasting through life after leaving the army without making any real connections to anyone around him. Until a mischievous deity turns Steve's only friend, his cat Tony, into a human being.

Tony Stark and the Sentinel of Liberty: A Marvels Adventure by Sineala

     When Project Rebirth fails, leaving the super-soldier serum inert in his veins, Steve Rogers is forced to bid goodbye to his dream of defending his country -- at least, in the way he'd always envisioned it. But his prospects in that regard aren't entirely bleak: he takes a job as chronicler for Tony Stark, the former Marvels adventurer who now serves his country in his typical unorthodox style, hunting down mystical relics before the Nazis can find them. At Tony's side in the jungles of Peru, Steve discovers that the serum works after all -- but it works in ways he could never have imagined.

Not This Omega by Annehiggins

     With Stane dead, Tony has to find a mate or lose controlling interest in his company, so it's time to throw an omega ball. Tony has a plan, but doesn't count on the drug in his drink. Now he's stuck with a mate who doesn't seem all that into him. Based on this prompt in the avengerkink meme. Set it a world where no one, not even Pepper, knows Tony is Iron Man and the events of Iron Man 2 never happened.

Unknown Caller (do not engage) by gottalovev

     Steve had one job: exchange a couple of texts with a guy who thought he had Natasha's number, and let him down gently. It ends up being a lot more complicated than that.

A Little Too Not Over You by jay_girl88

     "Steve had experienced torture before. This was a cruel and unusual form of it."

Sometimes, you can't see what's right in front of you until it isn't there anymore.

Colour Me In Love by starksnack

     [5:12 AM] Hey so I know you modeled for me like two years ago, but I really liked the work we did and was wondering if we could get together for coffee and talk about your possible participation in my upcoming project. Please let me know when you’re available. - SR

Tony models for Steve.

Basically two idiots in love.

Parabol Series by chaoticcollectorchaos_me

     When a dead body is discovered, the Avengers become murder suspects.

Rockabye Verse by BladeoftheNebula

     Cute alphas didn’t appear out of nowhere to help ruined omegas. That was a widely accepted fact.

Tony Stark had always known his life wouldn’t be easy as a genius omega in an alpha’s world. But not even he predicted getting knocked up and forced to move to a small town in the middle of nowhere.

A Gentleman's Guide to Centaurs by BladeoftheNebula

     All of Marvyl is a-twitter when Captain Rogers comes to town and takes up residence at Brooklyn Hall.

A single alpha in possession of a large fortune is an interesting prospect for any unmarried omega - especially when he has hooves.

You Have Me by ShesLikeTexas

     Tony Stark is a twenty year old college student trying to get by after being cut off by his father. Enter: Art student Steve Rogers, otherwise known as "The Captain," one of the most powerful crime bosses in New York.

Home by Saber_Wing

     Desperately, he reached back and grasped for the carving knives on the block behind him, because damned if he was going down without a fight. Then the bilgesnipe's razor sharp teeth clamped down harder on Tony's leg, and this time, he heard something crack. All rational thought fled with it.

Tony's vision went white. He thought he might have screamed, but he couldn't be sure.

Oh god, it hurt. Fuck, fuck, fuck-

Thor really should learn to keep Bilgey in his room.

The Red String by masterlokisev159

     As Prince Anthony stands by the window and watches his kingdom burn, he can only hope and pray that the barbarians will be kind. After all, what good would it do to have more bloodshed after so many lives have been lost?

It is inevitable though. Whether he likes it or not, he is the prince, the son of the cruel and powerful King Howard. And princes such as he do not last long once their kingdom has been claimed.

Tony knows these will be his final hours. He knows the barbarian leader is coming for him.

He just prays it will be a quick and painless death.

Sweet on You by MiniRaven

     It’s the 1940’s and Tony is working as a Donut Doll for the Red Cross. His job is to go around to various military bases and offer comfort food and conversation to homesick soldiers. He’s come to expect a lot of things in this job, but he doesn’t expect to fall in love with Captain America, the hottest most awkward soldier Tony has ever met.

Clan (of the Stranger and the Outcast) by greymantledlady

     The Stranger holds out his huge hand towards Tony, palm outwards and upwards.

Tony watches him warily, baring his teeth a little, not yet a snarl but a warning. But the Stranger simply holds his hand there, waiting, waiting; and his knife is lying on the ground between them, and there is no threat in the lines of his body.

Tony lets out a little breath he’s been holding. And he’s trembling, but he slowly reaches his own hand out, tentative and uncertain, and brushes the fingertips against the Stranger’s calloused palm. And the Stranger smiles a little, his eyes soft, and wraps his fingers around Tony’s.

The Long Way Back (To You) by Pearl_Unplanned

     After mouthing off to the wrong God of Mischief, Steve and Tony find themselves stuck as a cat and mouse, respectively. Either they work together to get home without being picked off by one of the many everyday dangers like stray dogs, cars, rat poison and each other, or they die trying. And maybe they can just come to terms with how they really feel towards one another.

The Future is Now by Pearl_Unplanned

     After a villain's failed 'time machine' is used on Tony and Steve, it leaves them both far older than anyone had been expecting. Tony, unsurprisingly, is having trouble coping with it, especially since there's a chance it might be permanent. Steve, on the other hand, tries to make the best of the situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have plenty more but I think this is a good list. Enjoy!

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

Immortal Astral Goat Psychology

Welp, if I am not shitposting or RPing I might as well go into some fine astral-goat-psychology right now. I have been awake for what might been close to 40 hours now with that 11 hour flight crossing 9 different timezones and another good six hours to complete the travel and now just having downed some sugary caffeine beverage so I can hold out for maybe three more hours so I can keep my sleep rythm somehow intact.

Best time to make a lenghty in-depht headcanon-post, alright? I will probably collapse after finishing this delirious write-up but then it’s a complete breakdown with a slight hint of feeling accomplished. Gotta take what you can get, right?

For some reason I have always tended towards the “not-exactly-human-immortal” sort of characters. Things that resemble humans and even like them or some aspects of them very much to the point they’d like to be one even though that is a task they’d never accomlish, their timeless nature being part of the reasons. Always wondered why I gravitated towards such designs, now I know it’s my own fucked-up brain so yeah this might also just be me projecting my own mental mess somewhere so take it with a grain of salt.

Soraka meanwhile is a real special case. It is said that she “descended” of some sorts, that she turned into a regular “mortal”, but that’s only true when viewed from a certain distance. OG-Celestial level of distance. Going by visuals one might just consider her being of vastayan heritage, but that’s not what sets her apart from regular mortals. Surpreme regenerative and restorative powers as well as a perspective on the very fabric of existence itself that no other living being could possibly have make sure she will always be the odd one out no matter what she does. This and some other things might have led to certain psychological tics or patterns depending on how you’d want to call it.

1.) Soraka will never, EVER assume the most powerful/top-spot position in the room even if by all means she is the most qualified/strongest/fitting for the job.

There’s a certain reason Soraka prefers mortals over other celestials, and that is mostly their potential. Literally the one reason she came down to this plane of existence was that she knew who was running this reality (other celestial entities), and she apparently was woefully disappointed with what she was seeing. By her logic the celestials are UNFIT for their position to the point where a mere species with a POTENTIAL is worth paying more attention to. I am not sure if you can call this a really weird inferiortiy complex of some sort or if she just really wished that humans and vastaya would realize their potential so the multiverse is finally in better, possibly more qualified hands - and effectively taking the burden of her, even if it is not actual responsibility and only the “burden of knowing”.

2.) Despite her absurdly powerful magic she dislikes using it because that would interfere with her original goal.

Humans and Vastaya (and maybe even the Undead) have a potential to realize, however it is something they must achieve on their own to truly become something new and not become an OG-Celestial-knockoff. So ideally she  shouldn’t even get involved, only in the most minimal ways. But she has all this power, yet she can’t really do anything with it. It’s a neverending source of frustration.

Combine this method of “subtle influence” with the previous point, and you might have a very clear basis for a personality that might very easily drift into an passive and lethargic state, who refuses to step forward even at times where they totally should and could. Especially when you combine this with the next point:

3.) The usual immortal-problem: the ones with limited time just become a blur, the other timless ones get stuck in their ways.

This usually goes against her philosophy about individual actions shaping the world and so on - but let’s be real, even in a world where a single person can gain the power to obliberate an entire city with the snap of an finger, how many people TRULY lead lives that actually posess agency and action-potential on a national level even? Especially positive long-term effects? You have a few powerful individuals and then those who’s lives get tangled with them, but everyone else, the “background noise” so to speak? Absolutely irrelevant.

This is already a downer, seeing fruitless yet repeating patterns over the course of centuries - but now imagine it also going against your core philosophy, and it getting shoved into your face again and again. Sometimes even this goat probably wonders if it is worth getting up in the morning or if she should just stay in bed...

Not that other immortal entities are much of a help either - either they are of horrible character (*cough* Sol *cough*) or they are “young immortals” like the current Targoian aspects, or Kayne, or the Darkin/Ascended in general... who all have major psychological issues they definetly should work on.

Except Taric. He’s just a fellow with a goal and who has his priorities set and does his job. The gem-man is the one beacon of hope in a bucket of absolute nutjobs that maybe, just maybe, they also can sort things out. You shouldn’t get your hopes up too much tho...

---

It always irked me when people portray Soraka as this sort of alturistic healer, along with all the cliches that come with it (submissve, cute, weak, naive, you name it) when in reality she must sit on a massive bulk of frustration and some really bad days you better not bother her that she’d rather just spend alone in bed.

As much as I like me some adorable cute-sy Soraka content, I really with people would tap more into this somber, potentially even melanchonic side of her. Sure, her philosophy requires her to have a certain baseline of optimism regarding existence as a whole, but you know how it is - you never have the same optimism levels every day, and after so many years I doubt that the average for Soraka is in the exceptionally high area.

I just hope that in canon lore Soraka finds some actual friends to help her through the “bad” days...

[biscuitreviews]

Biscuit Reviews Star Trek Discovery Season One (SPOILERS)

So I know I normally review games, but I figured I’d try out a different review, mostly because I have a lot to talk about with one of the new Star Trek series, Star Trek: Discovery. I recently subscribed to the CBS All Access streaming service and granted it was mostly for Picard, I figured I’d give Discovery a go in between episodes.

As for my history with Star Trek, it’s been around for pretty much my entire life. My dad is a huge fan. I remember that he used to have a huge VHS collection of TOS and TNG. My first introduction was actually through TNG and it holds a special place in my heart. I’ve also watched every series minus Enterprise (will soon be remedying that), watched every movie, was in the initial launch of Star Trek: Online and watched the fan series Star Trek Continues, where despite being “fanon”, has been regarded by Rod Rodenberry as the true continuation of TOS and has gone on record multiple times that his father, Gene Rodenberry, would consider the series canon. 

So yeah, I’d say Star Trek is a pretty big deal for me.

This review is going to cover the entirety of season 1 for Discovery. I won’t break down episode by episode as the season did have a continuing storyline throughout the entire season. I will go ahead and state that I’m not going to harp on the inconsistencies of Discovery’s technology. I know season 1 takes place 10 years before TOS. In fact, I gave it a pass because when it comes to long lasting sci-fi IPs, I feel that it’s an issue that has to be forgiven. How the 1960s audience viewed the future is vastly different than how we today view the future. So with that all of the technological inconsistencies, are just going to get a pass. As far as the subject of Lore such as well established events within Trek history, that will be taken on a case by case basis and I’ll be explaining those in my review as well.

Oh, and I will also be mentioning spoilers for season 1. A lot.

I walked into Discovery with an open mind, I was actually excited for the pitch on how it followed a first officer and would be more of a personal story. Discovery follows Michael Burnham (portrayed by Sonequa Martin-Green), first officer of the USS Shenzhou, a human who was raised by Vulcans. Immediately I loved this idea as Michael Burnham, which is traditionally a masculine name, is played by a woman and a person who identifies as a woman pushing another boundary that names are just names, they got no gender.

Even her backstory on how she got adopted by Vulcans was intriguing. Her home was attacked by Klingons which resulted in the death of her parents. This not only created depth but immediately establishes that Discovery is very much Michael’s story. Then came what is what I consider the biggest blunder to Michael and perhaps her greatest weakness. The Vulcan who adopted her was Sarek, Spock’s father. 

This is the first case of lore that I have a problem against. For one it’s never been mentioned that Spock had a sister, adopted or otherwise. Now you can argue that the idea of Spock having a sister is open to debate as Spock himself has teased that in the movies when he mentioned having a brother to Kirk. However, we never got any actual confirmation that it was the case. Also, we see that Sarek actually has somewhat of a close relationship with Michael which goes against Sarek’s character in that point of time in the Trek universe. Although Sarek is more open and accepting to emotions, he always still projected the outward appearance of Vulcan logic to his peers and his son. He was also always stand-offish towards Spock, yet despite that he did a lot for Spock and tried to teach him both his Vulcan and Human heritages. There’s also another issue with the Sarek/Michael relationship that I have that I will expand upon later in the review.

If you thought lore inconsistencies would be my major sticking point, my other major sticking point is the first two episodes of Discovery. These episodes cover the event that started the Federation/Klingon war in TOS, an event that would be known as The Battle of the Binary Stars. What’s my issue you might ask? This very episode actively contradicts a certain event, an event that Discovery itself established. That Michael’s home was attacked by Klingons. How does it contradict this? By having Captain Georgiou say in the same episode and to Michael that Klingons have had no known contact with the Federation for 100 years.

Now, we don’t know how old Michael herself is, but I’m assuming her tragic backstory happened 20+ years ago. Last I checked, Michael and her parents are considered Federation citizens. Having Klingons attack what is a Federation outpost, I would consider that a contact. So to have a character say that didn’t happen, when that very contact makes up Michael’s backstory was quite a head scratcher. You could argue that maybe the Federation is trying to cover that up, but if that’s the case, they’re doing a pretty terrible job by allowing one of their leading ambassadors to adopt a survivor of this attack and then accepting that survivor into Starfleet.

Aside from that bit of lazy writing, there’s also some really stupid character and narrative decisions that occured within the first two episodes. I feel that these two episodes were prisoners of the established lore so to keep in line with that, they tripped over themselves to make sure said event still happened.

You have Captain Georgiou not listening to Michael. Michael tells her how the Vulcans managed to open a dialogue with the Klingons. Despite Michael giving Captain Georgiou a proven working tactic, Gerogiou actively does the opposite thing saying, “no we can’t shoot at them, we have to talk, peace, Federation principles.” Yeah, but Federation principles are also figuring how to communicate with a species and seeing how Klingons respond with aggression and you have Michael who is citing how Vulcans established contact, nope, we gotta talk to them, not shoot them.

Now, there are a couple of sticking points that the first two episodes also show. For one, the Klingon redesign. Klingons have always had lore inconsistencies in terms of their design so I don’t see a reason to give Discovery grief on that so it gets a pass. The other point, Michael being labeled the first mutineer, with as controversial as that is among the Trek fans, I’m letting that one slide as well. I know TOS said that there has never been a mutiny on a Starfleet vessel. I know technically Spock was the first mutineer but even TOS itself has been weird about that detail. So, I feel that argument doesn’t really hold much water to count as a lore inconsistency if even the established canon likes to be wishy washy about the fact.

Anyways, it’s not until episode three that we finally get to the titular ship and meet its crew. We have Captain Gabriel Lorca, First Officer Saru, Lt. Staments, Chief Medical Officer Hugh Culber, and Cadet Tilly. There are some other regular crew members throughout the entirety of the series, but they have such little screen time that I’m not going to count them.

As far as supporting cast goes, Captain Lorca actually does an excellent job in helping establish that this Trek series is different than the usual fare. It’s more focused on war and he considers himself a Soldier more than he does an explorer. Saru, is by far the best new character introduced to this series. He’s a new race never before seen in the lore and the past he shares with Michael during the Battle of the Binary Stars creates good drama and tension in all these fronts. Staments is researching a new travel method that involves space mushrooms and his personality falls under the “cold and jerkish, but has a heart of gold” trope. He’s also the resident gay and how Discovery showed his relationship with Dr. Culber was so beautiful and amazing, that I really wish other series would take note. Then it had to do the typical “kill the gay” trope and it lost my respect.

Then there’s also… Ash Tyler. He is perhaps the most mishandled character in the entire Trek series. Honestly, he felt like someone that was just written to create problems for the sake of creating problems. I don’t mind showcasing PTSD and bringing awareness to it. But when you constantly throw the guy with PTSD at Klingons and even acknowledging it multiple times that’s not bringing awareness, that’s terrible writing and a blatant lack of understanding. Let’s not forget he’s also a result of Klingon torture, experimentation that caused his personality to be shared with a Klingon personality, brainwashing, and rape. When he recognizes something is wrong, he reaches out for help, but what does everyone do? They just keep bringing him on missions and then yell at him for fucking up. The crew keeps telling him he'll be fine, it will pass he has their support and then proceed to chastise him for not seeking help and having their back when he was having a mental episode.

The series also brought a classic TOS antagonist as well, Harry Mudd (portrayed by Rainn Wilson). I have to say if there was a way to bring a classic Trek character to help build the universe and show the relation between Discovery and TOS, having a minor antagonist from TOS was a great way to build that bridge. I’m talking about the episode where Harry Mudd attempts to steal the Discovery and he tries to do it in the most Trek way possible. Creating a timeloop with technology that is beyond our understanding, but alien enough and futuristic enough to have the audience intrigued about how the device itself works and the cast also trying to figure it out and finding a solution.

There’s also two other classic Trek trope episodes, first contact and saving an ambassador. First contact was amazing and further showcased Saru as a Starfleet officer. The saving an ambassador episode was a bit of a mess.

In the ambassador episode (which is episode 6) Sarek’s ship has been attacked by...Vulcan logic extremists. This is something that I’ll admit was a really tough pill to swallow, Vulcan logic extremists? I was against the idea at first but then I sat down and tried to think logically. I mean it’s not unheard of, as we do have Vulcans in the Maquis during the TNG and DS9 era. Having a Vulcan terrorist organization on Vulcan would make as much sense as there have been Vulcans in previous series that are in terrorist organizations. Then there’s also the Vulcans that followed and worked with Spock during his attempts to broker peace with the Romulans during the TNG era. They too were considered extremists, so much so that the Federation ordered Picard to get Spock for fear that he was defecting. So having a Vulcan logic extremist group actually isn’t as much of a leap as I initially thought.

However, it’s the event that followed the attack I have issues with. After the terrorist attack, Sarek reaches out to not Spock, but Michael. This is an issue because it’s been proven that although Sarek can be a bit callous, he will always reach out to Spock in times of trouble and need. I feel like Sarek reaching out to Michael, as he is possibly dying, is a bit of a slap to the complicated relationship showcased between Sarek/Spock throughout the years. “Sorry Spock, got to make way for your adopted sister that was messily written to have connections to us in an attempt to get the long time Trekkies to buy in the series.”

As mentioned previously, I want to make it super clear that I have no issues with Michael Burnham. I just wish that the writers treated her character with more respect to allow her to be her own character rather than have a sloppy connection to legacy characters. I feel that Michael would have stood out more if she were adopted by a Vulcan that was not Sarek, but rather some other Vulcan. I feel by having a different Vulcan adoptive parent, Michael could have had a lot more room to grow as a character. You want the connection to Spock still? Fine, make them childhood friends or something else other than adoptive brother/sister. Make them Starfleet Academy rivals, I felt anything would have been better than Sarek adopting Michael.

Then there’s the Mirror Universe, which I’ll admit the multiple episode arc that covered the Mirror Universe gave me a love/hate feelings. First, I do love that it continued and added on to the fan theory turned canon event of the USS Defiant being shifted to the Mirror Universe in the past. I love that it touched more on how a Prime Universe person, living in the Mirror Universe can take a toll on them as they do things against their morals to stay under cover. TOS only scratched the surface and with Discovery taking it further and actually having that impact Michael was truly a nice change of pace to other instances of Trek characters encountering the Mirror Universe.

But there were definitely weird moments. Again, continuing to put Ash Tyler in situations that trigger his PTSD or his dormant Klingon personality, Captain Lorca actually being from the Mirror Universe. Now I’ll admit I wasn’t a fan at first, but the way he left the Mirror Universe and returned was such a Trek way of going back and forth, I can’t help but actually admire it.

Of course we run into counterparts of other characters as well. For example, we find out that the Mirror Universe version of Captain Georgiou is actually the Emperor of the Terran Empire. It was such a beautiful build up and made so many changes to Michael and bringing the Emperor to the Prime Universe could and does lead to some great dilemmas. However, there is one very tiny thing that I feel negates all of that and something that plagued Discovery in its first two episodes. Being a prisoner to established canon. When Discovery makes their way back to the Prime Universe they are ordered to never reveal the discovery of the Mirror Universe to anyone, because you know, Kirk hadn’t found it yet. So how does Discovery explain this? The Klingons can’t know about alternate universes and that it’s possible to travel to them so they are ordered to never reveal the possibility of alternate universes.

Anyways the Federation is on the verge of losing the war and desperate means call for desperate measures, that being genocide. Now it’s the not first time the Federation has threatened to commit genocide, they’ve threatened to do that in the established canon a few times as well. TNG did it, DS9 did it, Voyager did it, and from what I can tell, Enterprise did it too. So being in the corner that they were in is not uncharacteristic of the Federation, especially with how desperate they were to turn the war around. It also establishes Emperor Georgiou as a recurring antagonist to appear in future episodes.

After turning the war around, the Federation and Klingons agree to end hostilities, the Klingons are united as one empire and glorious speeches all around then off to Discovery’s next mission: Escort Sarek to Vulcan and pick up its new Captain. However, during the journey, Discovery picks up a distress signal from none other than the U.S.S. Enterprise and ends with the classic ending theme from TOS, which I’ll admit really hit hard and brought many happy feelings.

Discovery does have a lot of potential. However, I feel the writers are trying too hard to keep within established lore. The attempts to also sell Michael as the sister of Spock holds her back so much that it weighs her down unnecessarily. A lot of issues I have with Discovery is with its writing. It has all the ingredients to be a great series, but it was greatly mishandled. I feel that if Discovery was either not a prequel series, or a prequel series that didn’t try to play coy with established events the first season would have been great. With as big as a universe there is to play with, they could have had the potential to truly explore new worlds and ideas and it wasn’t seized upon. Hell, despite a rough beginning, it had a great idea with introducing the theme of war it established in the beginning and how it affects someone on a personal level.

However, despite the good, it was mishandled in so many ways and did these new characters more of a disservice than anything.

Star Trek Discovery receives a 2 out of 5

[thecorteztwins]

what are some under used marvel female characters youd love to see in the rpc?

HMMMOkay, so I’m trying to think OBJECTIVELY here and not just rattle off the female characters that I personally like, and more “I’m surprised that there’s not more blogs for this character, whether or not I personally am a fan” ....because I missed the “you’d love to see in the RPC” bit because I’m dumb, and then I wrote this whole list without regards for that part. So this came out as less “female characters I personally want” (who would all be stupidly obscure and irrelevant anyway) and more “female characters I think the RPC should give some more love to, whether I personally am into them or not”:Definitely ALL the girls in the New Mutants and Generation X! I see a fair few blogs for Magik and Jubilee, but I really don’t see any for the others. I get why Magik is going to be more popular---she’s in more stuff, she’s currently much more relevant in the comics, and her backstory is so goddamn compelling---but that doesn’t mean the others shouldn’t have ANY blogs out there. Wolfsbane, Magma, Karma, and Moonstar are all extremely complex and compelling characters with their own struggles and triumphs too, and I think they deserve just as much love. Likewise, I get why Jubilee will naturally get more blogs than Husk, Monet, and Penance (depending if you count Penny as a separate character or not...) due to her being in more stuff, having bigger arcs, etc. But it still surprises there’s NO blogs around for those ladies! I know there was that Monet blog awhile ago, and @badmusesdoitwell had an Amara that’s now part of their multimuse, as well as a Rahne, but that’s still nowhere near enough love in the RPC for these Junior X-Ladies, in my opinion. Speaking of Generation X, I’m also a bit surprised no one has picked Cordelia Frost up, given that we’ve got plenty of background canon for her via Emma’s history yet Cordelia herself has LOTS of room to go nuts with headcanons, like it’s just the perfect opportunity! And I’m sure lots of Emma blogs, of which there are MANY, would love their little sister around for some family threads. Fuck, I would pick her up myself if I were more into Emma and the Frost family as a whole. She’s hardly the most relevant, recent, or even interesting character around, she’s done very little and shown up very briefly, but the fact she’s related to Emma Frost makes me think SOMEONE would have an interest in her.Madelyne Pryor, for sure. Like, I love Maddy, but it’s not just my favoritism talking here. I think she’s pretty decently well-known in the comics fandom, and she’s a tragic villain, which usually pulls people in big-time. She’s got a grudge against the good guys, and it’s actually more legitimate than most, which I’d think would also attract people, since a lot of villains fans like to blame the good guys no matter what and THEY’D ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD ARGUMENT HERE? Plus she has very strong connections to other, more popular canons, with a ton of fodder for angst and drama threads, which people just LOVE. I have seen a few Maddy blogs pop up in the past, and I always get so excited, but they never seem to last very long :CDr. Moira MacTaggert deserves ALL the love and respect in the world/fandom! She’s been a staunch supporter of mutants since day one, she’s a total badass, she’s super smart, she calls Xavier out on his shit ALL THE TIME, she’s the survivor of an abusive husband, she had to make terrible choices about her son that no mother should ever have to and then live with the consequences of those choices, and SHE GOES AFTER A KELPIE WITH A GODDAMN MACHINE GUN! She’s been a part of the X-Men comics for such a long time, and is very significant in them, it really surprises me that I’ve never seen a blog for her besides just ONE and it was for the XMCU sexy American CIA agent Moira, who is NOT Moira in my book and NEVER WILL BE. Speaking of, Moira will ALWAYS be human to me, I think making her a mutant all along REALLY undermines a big part of her character as just an unyielding mutant ally. Though I think her being human, combined with being an older female who isn’t anyone’s love interest (unless she’s, gasp, getting in the way of CHERIK aka the ultimate fandom sin how dare she the harlot -.-), is probably WHY she’s so damn ignored -.-Frenzy hasn’t been in THE most recent stuff, but she’s still been relevant recent enough that I think one or two blogs around would have happened if she weren’t black. Yeah, I hate to be THIS person, but any black character who isn’t Storm doesn’t get love, for all that the RPC likes to yell about being diverse and progressive. Remember all the Captain America and Iron Man and Hulk and Quicksilver blogs that popped up after their movies? Yeah I saw like ONE T’challa blog after Black Panther came out. Then again, I’ve yet to see blogs for Pixie or Firestar either, who are white, and I feel like they both were fairly interesting and well-known in fandom? Same for the Academy X girls like Sofia Mantega, Mercury, and Wallflower. Luna Maximoff FOR SURE. It SHOCKS me I haven’t see more than a couple short-lived blogs around for her, just given her family connections. Now, I don’t think a character deserves love just because of who they’re related to---in fact it annoys me when a characters gets a ton of attention and it’s very obviously just for that---but Luna has SO MUCH going on? The problems between her parents, her mother being absent so much, her father exposing her to the Mists, dealing with her powers, being a child of two very different worlds and cultures, it just goes on and on. Luna has had to grow up so fast, she’s such a strange and stoic child as a result, and though her situation is very fantastical, having to be the mature one at an early age because all the adults in your life won’t be is something a lot of people have to cope with and I think would find relatable; I especially love how she lives in this world where there’s no bad guys, like neither Crystal nor Pietro were the villains in her situation, just hurting messed up people, which she also recognized in Magneto and maybe also even Maximus . And there’s so much that could be explored with her too that hasn’t been in canon yet---for instance, her choice to identify with her Inhuman heritage and why that is, and the journey of identifying with your heritage but also looking at the horrible things in their history, I think that’s a story that a LOT of people from MANY backgrounds can relate to. It surprises and frustrates me that both writers and fandom don’t really seem to care about her or remember she exists; one the only two blogs I ever saw for her seriously got someone asking them “why would you make such a weird OC” like SERIOUSLY! Luna needs more love, big time. Any female Avenger that’s not Wanda or Natasha. I don’t read Avengers, I’m just an X-Men fan, but I know they exist and they shouldn’t have to be in a movie to get love. Ditto for She-Hulk, I’m not a Hulk reader but I know she’s a prominent character who has been around a long time and has a very developed personality and stories of her own, yet I’ve only ever seen her on @getreadytosmash‘s multi. I’ve also never really read Alpha Flight, but its main ladies ---Snowbird, Aurora, Vindicator---all seem awesome in their own different ways. Alpha Flight isn’t very popular to begin with, of course, so I don’t expect them to have as many blogs as, say, major X-ladies, but I think one apiece or so would be very justified.KWANNON!! I actually get why we didn’t have any blogs for her BEFORE now, because we knew NOTHING about her, she was just a very tragic prop for Betsty’s body-swap plot and a way to give her insta-ninja-skills, but now she’s come back and has HER OWN NEW SERIES in which we’re finally learning who she is and her background, I hope to see a blog or two around for her eventually!Destiny aka Irene Adler. Like. Do I even need to explain WHY? I think people just don’t want to play an OLD woman, especially one whose primary/only ship is going to be with another woman.Maaaaybe Clea Strange? I don’t know shit about her, never read Dr. Strange, but like, people make blogs for Sigyn literally just because she’s Loki’s wife, and Clea at least seems to like...DO stuff? IDK, not sure on this on, but figured I’d make an honorable mention.Siryn, Boom Boom, and Dr. Cecilia Reyes are all X-Ladies that I really don’t know much about. Like I know basic things like their powers but I don’t know their story arcs and such. But as with Clea and the Avengers ladies and She-Hulk, I just have a HUNCH there’s a lot there getting ignored by fans.Silhouette Chord is a longtime member of The New Warriors, and, like Alpha Flight, New Warriors doesn’t really have a fanbase on Tumblr to speak of, so it’s not surprising to me she’s not got any love here. And even within the pages of her own comics, she’s generally pushed aside, underused, and underdeveloped compared to the other characters, generally more a prop for her boyfriend’s stories than anything else. But she DOES have a personality, a REALLY cool backstory, and she’s like...look, the RPC claims to love diversity and representation and all that, right? Silhouette is a mixed-race WOC (half Black, half Cambodian, and I have NEVER seen another Marvel character of Cambodian heritage who wasn’t connected to her) who is also very visibly physically disabled, her legs are completely paralyzed and she is never without her braces/crutches, yet she still fights PHYSICALLY (something very rare for physically disabled characters, they usually are more like Oracle or Prof X) and is depicted in a sexual relationship, and there’s never any kind of fuss or angst about it or anything treating her as delicate or less than or anything like that. She’s just completely adjusted to it in a way that’s very rare in media. And like I said, she’s not a flat character, I’m not saying she should be more popular just for ticking off the diversity boxes, she manages to be really intriguing to me despite how little focus the writers give her, and I think that she and the other New Warrior girls (Firestar and Namorita) have a lot to offer the RPC. But I have to give a special shoutout to Sil since she’s my fave, as the neglected ones alway are.Meggan Puceanu is probably most familiar to folks here as Kurt’s love interest in Age of X, but she’s been around since the 80s. She’s a longtime member of Excalibur, and she’s just...fascinating. She’s a Romanichal mutant (though often hinted to have magical/mystical heritage too, perhaps fairy like Pixie) who has empathic, elemental, and shapeshifting capabilities. However, her empathic and shapeshifting tend to overlap, so she changes her form (and her mind) according to the feelings, fears, and desires of others. So for instance, there’s this one time where a group of men are checking her out, and she feels that “They love me...I want...to love them in return!” and she morphs into this sexxed-up version of hersef on the spot. This isn’t played for kinkiness or laughs either; Meggan’s identity struggles are a HUGE part of her character. She has no idea who she is because her powers make her reflect and respond to the feelings of others around her, internally and externally. She doesn’t even know what she actually really LOOKS like because of this; her powers were present since birth, causing her to grow fur instantly as an infant due to it being winter. This caused her parents to keep her locked up in the camper trailer, where she was raised alone with the TV (she’s also illiterate, which causes her to feel dumb a lot) and as more and more people around her spread rumors about the monstrous child inside, she psychically absorbed those beliefs and her physical form changed to reflect them, making her more and more monstrous as she got older. She didn’t know she was a shapeshifter, she just really thought she was a hideous monster. And even when she found out the truth, she STILL didn’t know what she really looked like, as the beautiful form she took on (basically Pamela Anderson with elf ears) was to please her boyfriend Captain Britain (whom she is really unhealthily dependent on starting out because of her situation)Meggan is insecure, she doesn’t know who she is, she has to cling to a man in order to have anything because no one else has ever loved her, she easily becomes jealous of other women near him, she gets made fun of for being a bimbo and she often feels she is because she can’t read or understand “clever words” due to her isolated upbringing...and she gets through this! She develops! She becomes STRONGER and she becomes SECURE and she gains CONTROL of her powers and SHE KICKS ASS and she FORMS AN IDENTITY!  And then Meggan SACRIFICED HER LIFE to buy time for Captain Britain, Psylocke, and Rachel Summers to repair the tear in reality caused by House of M. She ends up lost between dimensions and TRAPPED IN HELL, where she uses her empathy to rally the lesser demons against THE LORDS OF HELL ITSELF and wages a war IN HELL for which her demon followers dub her “Gloriana” and she forms a sanctuary there called “Elysium” where souls can escape torment!  AND THEN SHE FINDS HER WAY HOME!THIS WOMAN KICKED ASS IN HELL AND WON!! Like she just goes through SUCH an arc, and I admit I have not read it myself yet, she’s on my list of characters to read EVERYTHING on and I’m still only familiar with her very insecure Excalibur days (which I love a lot, I just feel so much for Meggan and her struggles, I think she’s very much a reflection of a LOT of real-world issues, ranging from mental illnesses to just EXISTING as a woman) but I already have a ton of feelings about her and I think she’s more than prominent and accomplished enough to merit more attention in the RPC. And this is less of an “actually has reasons the RPC should love her” character, because really there’s no reason they should, she’s not prominent or relevant or or anything, but more an interesting “did you know”---did you know there was a “young female Wolverine clone” in the comics BEFORE Laura Kinney? Avery Connor! She pre-dates Laura by a year and has a VERY similar story, yet she never took off in popularity and very few people know her. You can read about her HERE on my Marvel blog. Again, would not say there’s actually any reason she’s earned love from the RPC like, say, Meggan or Luna, but I just thought I’d toss that in as a tidbit for the Logan family fans, as I know there are many.(Also, cheating because these are dudes, but: I’m not a Banshee fan but I am surprised I’ve never seen a blog for him, nor for Sunfire. Or for 616 Pyro. Or...)

[miccatepoztli]

XIMENA’S RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: mónika OOC Contact: DMs or discord (available upon request!)

who the heck is my muse anyway:

Ximena is a young brujeria practicing witch who was ~*mysteriously*~ spirited away from her home at age 5 with no memory of her past or self. Raised in the restricted environment of an abbey among sympathetic but uncaring sisters, she’s quite prim and proper to the public eye, but cares very little about the rules of society or her place in it.

She is also a ridiculously smart little girl. She will grow into a terrifyingly smart woman. With secrets sewn into her skin and a powerful network of magical creatures at her fingertips.

points of interest:

She’s very willing to learn and perform “dark” magicks, and can often be found reading questionable books and tomes of various subjects regarding the art. If you came at her with the offer to summon a demon together, she would be hooked almost immediately (though cautious, of course)

Near the middle of her adolescence, she begins to dabble in potioneering and finds herself very skilled at it. Through a questionable network of fellow witches, creatures, jealous ex-wives, and the like, she develops a steady stream of loyal customers and builds upon her craft.

Once reunited with her family, she is a part of a long reaching, long lasting network of witches and brujas that have lived in their forest for centuries. Perhaps millennia. The forest in which their home resides is an inter-dimentional one where time doesn’t always work properly (whatever ‘properly’ is).

Like her, her current living family is cursed with painful and involuntary immortality, alongside a few other choice effects. Ximena can die from just about anything, but she will always return after a brief visit with death: her body will take time to rebuild itself. She can stall her return to her living body if she wishes, but she can never permanently rest unless the curse is broken.

A by-product of her curse is her unending ache to know. To learn about everything she can possibly get her hands on: magic, languages, plants, mathematics, space, everything. Her hunger for knowledge cannot be satiated until she learns enough about a certain branch of magic...

Ximena literally does not care about the problem of people outside of herself and her loved ones. She’ll spare a moment of sympathy for the sake of her humanity, but she will not go out of her way to help unless she can get something out of it such as personal vindication or some rare item. Occasionally she will help others out of sheer curiosity, but it’s rare.

what they’ve been up to recently:

Making friends with demons of other cultures! From India @marakama​ to China @fwm-gsm​ to Korea @roanarch​ --She’s gatherin up them demonic business cards and seeing what she can trade for information or rare items.

Learning how to communicate with the dead successfully and without accidentally summoning a legion of the undead. Whoops! No necromancy here, she just wants to talk to her ancestors to see why the fuck she’s cursed and who she is!

Training her corvid friends to send messages and retrieve items using whistles and tongue clicks.

Forgetting her place around adults she doesn’t trust and asking suspicious questions about black magic that could set off some red flags--But her interest is purely academic! She swears! And lies.

where to find them:

Croydon - If in her early stages of life (5-13 ish), Ximena can be found wandering around the abbey where she grew up in, or around the streets of London. She has a reputation for being a wallflower and very meek and polite.

Mexico - At age 14, Ximena is unofficially adopted by local Vampire Dad, Salazar @deoscuridad​ and taken with the rest of his misfit family to Mexico, where her magic has never been stronger, and her search for her family has never been closer. Find her at the library, markets, docks, and museums taking in her culture.

Forests - The aforementioned inter-dimentional forest leads to every forest in the world (and in others). So if one is talking a walk or run among the woods, it’s entirely plausible to find Ximena (ages 14 and up) on your journey. She’ll be picking mushrooms, documenting flora, performing dangerous summoning seances, and taking naps.

Other Locations - Hogwarts is a plausible place to locate her (in the proper HP aus where she has British citizenship and is thus allowed to attend) from ages 12-16, as that is when she is withdrawn by her father. Bookshops of all sorts are another, as she quite enjoys traveling.

current plans:

Eat some fish

Find her family, if she has one

Learn about herself and her past

Become a fourth level mage (highest tier)

Collect information and knowledge from every possible source.

desired interactions:

Ximena asking [muse] to watch over her body as she performs some dark summoning shit, allowing a demon/spirit/etc. to possess her body

[Muse] accidentally witnesses or just straight up accidentally (or purposefully!) murders Ximena in a really stupid and/or violent way, freaks out, cleans up/hides the body or runs away. They, of course, find Ximena just fine the next day/week. [Muse] can publicly freak out or demand answers, and Ximena just “yeah man, that happens sometimes, no hard feelings, jaja” and tries to brush it off.

Ximena being in a stiff upper lip environment while at a big fancy party and trying desperately to both appear normal/well adapted and also not attract any attention–but of course she’s asked to dance or give a speech.

Her fully exploring why it is that dark magic resonates so nicely with her. is it her nature? heritage? genetics? idk, but let’s test it out by trying some old school hardcore black magicks. Preferably! With a mentor muse.

On a fluffier (or more dramatic, if you’re like me) note: Ximena teaching someone how to dance.

A Coraline AU

Any sort of AU taking place in a dystopia like The Giver or The Hunger Games.

Offered interactions:

Uhh, gestures above?

As stated in my rules, I do not ship unless I know you personally OCC because it just makes it easier to establish relationship dynamics, but that doesn’t mean nothing can naturally develop or a muse can’t develop feelings for Ximena. It just means I have trust issues with people fetishizing the color of my characters’ skin! And if I know you OOC, there’s less of a chance of that happening!!

Honestly, just kill her, it’s fine. If the thread is going that way, it’s ok. She’ll be back. Very angry or scared or frustrated, but she will be fine! Don’t be weird about it though.

She’s a good tutor in all verses, even the ones where she plays dumb! Have her help out one of your muses in any subject!

She’s a very naturally curious person who, if allowed, will plow someone with questions til exhaustion. Have her ask your muse some things to help sort something out!

On that same vein, they could be penpals! Ximena is always writing to other peoples across the globe for knowledge!

current open post/s:

Anything under the /prompt tag and /ic tag!

anything else?:

my discord is open to mutuals if you wanna talk about ideas/concerns/questions!! arróz con babe #8991

tagging: ...u

tagged by: lol i stole it from a random blog

[sadghostdyke]

im writing an all-origins-survive dragon age fix it and here are the character bios!!

Damian Cousland- a sword-shield warrior who falls for Zevran. He doesn't understand a lot of what the others have gone through (Zev's experience as a slave, Adrian's poor experiences with humans, Kit's distaste for stupid shems, Miri and Lyanna's experience with templars, Naya's instinctive self-devaluing, Alistair's experience in the Chantry and his child abuse) but he still makes an effort to understand and learns a lot over the course of the story. He's very flustered by Zevran at first but makes a concerted effort to help him when things get rough. Post-DAO, he and Zevran go and take out the Crows and wear cool matching outfits doing it (it's mostly for Zevran's dramatic flair, because Damian would never do that on his own, but for the love of his life? of course). They settle down in Antiva, though they take a brief trip to the Free Marches to see the Amells and give them news of their second cousin. They help save baby Crows and adopt them. (Currently they have three kids, all Crow escapees.)

Adrian Tabris- a dual wielding rogue who finds himself in love with Alistair. He was named for his mother Adaia, and Cyrion often finds himself looking at his son and wanting to weep because he can see his mother in him. Adrian was sexually assaulted by humans when he was around fourteen. When he saw what was going to happen to Shianni, he leapt to her defense, wanting to save someone in the way he wasn't able to. He & Alistair love each other very much. Others would be upset to be only the King's consort, but Adrian is delighted that he can help the alienage with Alistair. He and Anora do most of the ruling, and they respect each other quite a bit- after all, Adrian is the one who introduced her to Shianni :) 

Kitranelle Mahariel- an archery-based rogue, Kit found herself falling for the mysterious Morrigan who also grew up away from humans and therefore has a more disdainful view of them. She has the vallaslin of Elgar'nan, and received it right before Tamlen died :( She used to be in a polyamorous relationship with Tamlen and Merrill that fell apart when Tamlen was taken, and she swore not to leave her heart unguarded again. She told herself that her relationship with Morrigan was just flirting, just kissing, just sex, until... it wasn't. Kit has quite a bit of trauma regarding humans, who took her father and killed her mother, and she's not prone to trust. The only one she ever particularly liked was Duncan, and he wasn't that kind at first either. She becomes a lot more open to humans during the Blight, and she's especially close to Lyanna. She did the Dark Ritual with Morrigan. Post-DAO, she tracks down Morrigan with the help of a hunter from the Brecilian forest (Ariane) and a circle mage friend of Lyanna and Miri's (Finn) and escapes with Morrigan and Kieran, who she spends the next decade raising alongside her wife.

Lyanna Amell- a Mage (obviously) focused on the entropic school and the Spirit school. She's been in love with Miri Surana since she was old enough to understand the concept. Their relationship is modeled a little bit off Steve/Bucky (aka the 'hoe don't do it' meme) and Lyanna is Bucky in this scenario, constantly apologizing for Miri being loud and quicktempered and just. All that. She wasn't aware that Cullen had a crush on Miri, because she didn't WANT to believe, because she didn't know Cullen had a crush on both of them. (Cullen likes Lyanna because she's a Good Mage, and she's so Kind and Sweet and he thinks she would actually like him back (lol she's a lesbian so no). His... infatuation with Miri is much more "i'm going to break her" and it's pretty obvious when you're looking for it.) She was best friends with Jowan, and Miri was best friends with Anders. She has a bad back from a punishment she received as a child when she hadn't learned how to be Quiet like a good mage (that incident is part of what led her to become really focused on being Good Enough). It never healed right, and she needs poultices to get through the day during the Fifth Blight with all the combat. Post-DAO, she becomes the Warden-Commanders of Amaranthine alongside Naya Brosca and Miri Surana. Post-DAA, she and Miri get married and run from the Chantry, sending Velanna and Sigrun letters as they go.

Miri Surana- a mage focused on the Primal school and the Creation school. She was stolen from the Dalish as a child, and the templars found her when she was playing with ink and with paint marks on her face in the shape of vallaslin (she wanted to have the marks of June because her parts were both craftspeople). She’s always wondered whether she’d be able to get them done someday, after learning of how they found her, and she decided to glamour vallaslin on her face (she wouldn't make it permanent because she was afraid she’d get it wrong and then she’d be rejected if she ever met a Dalish) in honor of her heritage. She couldn’t do it in public because she’d get punished for it, but she did it TONS in private. Anders was her best friend (they fooled around once, but Miri told him she was a lesbian immediately after and Anders was like am I that bad? lol) Speaking of punishment, Miri got punished for a LOT, because she never shut up. She has a broken ankle that healed wrong and so she needs her staff to walk sometimes. She was sexually assaulted by a templar and at one point entered an ill-advised poorly-conceived relationship with Cullen under the wraps before ending it when he got Weird and he's been murder-lusting after her ever since. Lyanna did not know about this, she just thought Miri was having sex with a templar. It's ... fucked up. She became one of the Warden-Commanders of Amaranthine with Lyanna (who, by the way, is the love of her life and that which grounds her.)

Naya Brosca: a casteless dwarf, dual wielding rogue, who ended up working for the Carta. She did it for her sister and her mother. Naya copes for her low self-esteem using humor, and her life really sucks. She has a complicated relationship with the Stone as a religion and hates the Ancestors. She fell for Leliana, who introduced her to Andrastianism, which broadened Naya's faith- Naya still believes in the Stone, but she also believes in the Maker. Her mother is a drunk and Naya was verbally and physically abused as a child. She tried her best to protect Rica, who in turn protected Naya from becoming a noble-hunter, which was her worst nightmare. Naya is a dual-wielding rogue but mostly she focuses on lock-picking and theft, because hey, gotta survive, amiright boys? She and Vyrim have a rivalry going on because Vyrim is an Heir, stone-blessed, and Naya is a Casteless, and they originally have it out for one another. Eventually they learn to trust each other, but there's always some level of apprehension between them because of their upbringings. Naya becomes a Warden-Commander post-Blight.

Vyrim Aeducan- greatsword-wielding warrior, the middle child of Endrin Aeducan, a very schmoozy kind of person, who got the Assembly in their pocket but never anticipated Bhelen's betrayal. They loved their brother Trian but were closer to Bhelen and believed him when he said "oh yeah, he'll kill you (and me, too)" because they grew up trying to protect their brother. That.... backfired. Vyrim is the oldest of the group at around forty, so they don't get into a relationship with anyone because UH excuse you, you're all BABIES compared to them. They have the dwarf tattoo that has dots around the eyes? i love it. They are prejudiced against the Casteless but learn Not to be after confronted with the reality of what happens against Casteless in Orzammar. They returned to the Grey Wardens and stayed there... for a time.

Those are my DAO ocs! i love them!

[eldritchsurveys]

o94.

What is your name? >> Mordred.

How old are you? >> 31.

And lastly, where are you located? >> Grand Rapids / Xibalba.

What is the most unique compliment you have received? >> I’m not sure. I don’t really remember stuff like that for very long.

What's the most unique insult you have received? >> ^

How do you feel about tomato sauce with chunks of tomato? >> I prefer it.

Do people think you look like either of your parents? Does that offend you? >> Most people don’t know my parents in the first place. And no, I wouldn’t be offended if someone said I looked like my dad. I mean, I’m sure I do at least a little bit. That’s how shit works.

What is your nationality/heritage? Does it fit you? >> My nationality is USian and my heritage is Black American, Native American, and Haitian. It’s not a matter of whether it “fits” me or not; it has at least a fraction to do with who I am regardless.

Do you prefer regular bacon or turkey bacon? >> I don’t really like bacon (overexposure killed my taste for it -- which is why people should stop putting it in goddamn everything), but I guess either will do.

Are you more of a talker or a listener? >> I am both, but I find listening to be a lot easier a lot of the time.

Do you interrupt when people talk? >> I’m less likely to do this than most people, but it still happens sometimes, especially if it’s a subject I’m really excited about.

Do you think its weird when people talk to their pets like people? >> Not at all. How else are people supposed to communicate with them, anyway?

Where do most of your relatives live? >> New Jersey and North Carolina, as far as I know.

Is your weight proportionate to your height? >> Yep.

What is the last place, other than home, that you stayed overnight? >> An Airbnb in Chicago.

Do you prefer leather or lace? >> I think a combination of both is most ideal.

What was the manufacturer of the last vehicle you were in? >> Saturn.

Would you ever buy a motorcycle? >> I mean, I can’t drive one, so there’s really no reason for me to buy one.

What is the most unusual thing in your reach right now? >> There’s nothing unusual within my reach. I mean, there’s this weird little vinyl figure that I got from Reddit for participating in their SyFy Secret Santa thing a long while ago, but I don’t know how unusual that is, per se. It’s just funky.

Are you sitting by a window right now? >> I’m sitting by a sliding glass door, which is similar.

Does your door have to be closed in order for you to sleep? >> No, I prefer it open. Even though it means I have to do weird shit to keep the damn cat out of my room (I’d be less anal about it if he wasn’t prone to spraying all over my shit).

Do you have anything other than posters or pictures on your walls? >> No, just posters and a print from deviantART.

What is the furthest you have traveled alone? >> A thousand miles or so.

Have you ever ridden a train? How about a subway? >> I’ve ridden both many times.

What is the last thing you measured? >> Where to hang this Cradle of Filth poster I found at the record store.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you'd never do? >> I mean, probably.

What did you do on the busiest day of your life? >> ---

Have you ever traveled to another country? >> No.

Have you traveled to another continent? >> No.

What is something someone can say that always cheers you up? >> I don’t think there’s anything like that. 

Do you think everyone is born innocent? Or do you think "evil" is predetermined? >> I don’t believe in either of these concepts. People are just people.

Are you tattooed? Or does it freak you out? >> I am tattooed.

Are you pierced? If so, where? >> Septum and earlobes.

Are attracted to or put off by people who are heavily pierced or tattooed? >> I’m much more likely to be interested in or attracted to people who are modified than I am to be repelled by them.

Do you have any predjudices? >> Of course. Judgement is a pretty common and useful function of the human brain.

Have you ever been called a derogatory name? ..What? >> Sure, your general “bitch” and “cunt” and that sort of thing.

What was the meanest thing you've been called? >> I don’t know.

Have you done anything productive today, anyway? >> Yeah, I took a shower.

Eaten anything delicious today? >> I haven’t even eaten yet. I should probably do that before I leave.

Do you have any pets? If so, what species/breed? How did you acquire said pets? >> No.

Have you ever gotten a pet at a shelter? You should. There's nothing wrong with shelter pets. [: >> If I were to get a pet, that’s where I’d get them from.

Have you ever taken in a stray animal? >> No.

Do you have or want children? >> I don’t have them and I definitely wouldn’t mind raising one.

How do you feel about marriage? Ever been close? >> I am pretty apathetic about it, all told. But I’m not gonna lie... the plans for our wedding really do sound lit. I didn’t know it could be this fucking cool, but once we started discussing the merits of a cemetery wedding I was like “ohhhh now I see the hype”.

Are you confident in your appearance? >> I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think my appearance requires confidence, per se.

Do you enjoy looking at yourself? Do people think you are conceited or vain? >> I do enjoy looking at myself. I don’t know if people think I’m vain, and I don’t particularly care either way.

Are you optimistic, pessimistic or "realistic" ? >> Optimistically realistic.

Do you enjoying taking pictures? >> Sometimes.

Do you take pictures of THINGS, or are you just a camera whore? xD >> Most of the photos I take are of myself, so I guess the latter.

Do you have a significant other? If so, what's your favorite thing about this person? >> Well, I have Sparrow and I have Can Calah. I don’t know what my “favourite thing” about either of them is.

How long have you been involved with them? >> Can Calah’s been around for seven or so years and Sparrow’s been around for 6 by her reckoning.

Do you think they are "the one"? Do you believe in "the one" or "soulmates"? >> I mean, Sparrow and I just fit together well, there’s not a whole lot of effort involved in maintaining our relationship... and that’s 100% ideal for me, because I am not actually good at romantic relationships. I have little interest in the trappings of them (I mean, they’re fun, but I’m not... like, invested), I don’t experience the whole emotional component the way other people do, and I’m easily alienated by a lot of random expected shit like having to say “I love you” and whatnot (yay, fucked-up socio-emotional development). Sometimes my relationship with Sparrow seems more like that “queerplatonic” thing that the kids have been talking about, which would line up perfectly with the suspicion I have that I’m just aromantic. Regarding Can Calah... yeah, he’s definitely Something. But our relationship is, of course, different from the kind I’d have with any human. That’s just how that works.

Have you ever dated someone simply for their looks? >> Nah.

What about dating someone simply because you felt too bad to say no? >> I’ve never felt that bad about saying no.

How do you feel about casual sex?  >> It’s fine for those it’s fine for. It’s not fine for me.

Are you eating anything right now? >> No, but I will definitely have to eat when I finish this survey.

Does it drive you INSANE when people chew with their mouth open? >> Yes, but I’m also very sensitive to eating sounds. As in, like, I put my earphones in when Sparrow eats.

What about when they talk with their mouth full?? I hate that. >> I mean, whatever.

Does any food always make you sick but you love it too much to not eat it? >> No.

How do you feel about alcohol? >> As a dionysian creation, I’m definitely into alcohol. So as a dionysian creature, I try to pay it some respect.

Have you ever been drunk? >> Sure.

Do you like orange juice with pulp? Or... do you prefer not chewing your juice? xD That's how I feel. >> Yeah, I’m on your side. Either I’m eating an orange or I’m drinking juice; pulpy orange juice wigs me out.

Do you scream for ice cream? >> No.

Which orange came first; the color or the fruit? >> I don’t remember, but I did read about it once.

Chicken or the egg, really? >> It’s a circle, really.

Are you addicted to anything? >> No.

Do you tell white lies? >> Sure.

What is your favorite pair of shoes? >> The boots.

Are you more creative or logical? >> I am both.

Do you know what people mean when they say "type A personality"? >> I have a vague idea, yeah.

Are you in school? If so, for what? >> No.

What is your dream job? >> To not have a job.

Have you ever experienced a natural disaster? >> Sure. Hurricane Sandy was interesting.

Do you feel bad when bad things happen to other people? Or, do you not care? >> I don’t feel much of anything when things happen to other people, unless it’s in a tv show that I’m invested in, lmao.

If you don't, do you feel guilty about that? >> I’ve done nothing wrong, so why should I feel guilty? Not feeling badly for someone else doesn’t mean I want bad things to happen to them, or that I’m evil or some nonsense. That’s a false equivalence.

Do you laugh at things that aren't supposed to be funny? >> All the time.

Is it only funny til someone gets hurt? Then is it hilarous? >> Heh.

Does your favorite shirt have words on it? If so, what does it say? >> ---

Aren't you a little nervous about posting photos online? >> No.

Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? >> Misdiagnosed.

Have you ever stolen something? >> I’ve stolen many things.

What was the reason you washed your hands last? >> I’d just used the loo.

How do you feel about getting blood drawn? >> I love it, it’s fun to watch.

What are you afraid of? >> Death, apparently.

Is there something you should be doing? >> Yeah, eating, and then getting ready to go see Thirst Trap Equalizer 2.

[rudolf-rokkr]

fuck your ugly-ass runes

I’m frustrated with people who want “their” cultural symbols handed to them on a silver platter. They want to “reclaim” things that were never anything except Nazi symbols, like the 12-spoked black sun or the symbol of a Nazi volunteer militia, yet they can’t be bothered to figure out what runes Vikings used. Nazis say “here are the symbols of our ancestral heritage (that are a bunch of crap we made up) and you all go “give it back!” When it comes to the runes they took 1,500 years of tradition and steamrolled it. It could never have been any other way. Nationalism is the enemy of culture. They cannot coexist in harmony. Nationalism is piss on the graves of our ancestors.

I keep seeing people say that they want to reclaim the runes, but you can’t reclaim something that was never yours. And if your conception of the runes is coterminous with Nazi use of them, then it is shallow, superficial, not worth saving, the death of tradition with a few half-rotten specimens preserved pinned under glass.

I know it’s hard when you don’t know who you can trust. We wouldn’t be in this situation without wolves in sheep’s clothing sneaking lies between a handful of facts to distract you (Thorsson/Flowers). We have a lot of work to do uprooting the deceit that lies at the core of modern heathen reception of the runes. Now’s a good time to start. Since the part of the problem that’s most active on everyone’s mind regards visual perception of symbols of Norse and Germanic culture this is gonna focus on that, with lots of pictures.

~ Get excited, kids, it’s runology time ~

Nazis didn’t take “runes,” they took an aesthetic more or less from the Gallehus horn.

This one particular object has runes that happen to appeal to their sense of aesthetics and as a result became “the” runes, and all of you people fell for it. They’re into straight lines because there were Nazi philologists who thought runes were the original writing system that the Mediterranean alphabets ripped off (echoing Johan Bure in the 16th century). The straight lines reminded of their origin in ancient rock carvings (rather than the truth, that their origin is in the (Semitic) Phoenician alphabet via something else like Latin, Greek, another Italic alphabet, or perhaps even with direct influence from a Semitic source). They were considered a symbolic mystical system first, that later achieved some utility as a writing system. The pristine geometric shapes reflect their archetypal mystical nature (specifically within the “Ariosophical” (racist) Armanen system of runes based on a “hexagonal crystal structure”). And I guess these blocky slabs are “manly” or something.

So yeah, it relates to an actual inscription but it’s just an aesthetic. I know this because I can do this:

These are Latin letters that “look like runes.” The only problem is, they don’t. They look like one inscription that reads “I, Hlewagastiʀ Holtijaʀ, am a huge fucking bigshot who drinks out of gold.” The non-runologist part of me is glad his shit got stolen and melted down.

Most of this goes for the other widely-visible variant -- the same thing but with thin lines (like tawido at the end above). Those are somewhat better represented in the runic corpus but it’s not because that’s what runes “are,” it’s because it’s easier and not everyone is a professional. I’m still gonna attack the idea that these are in any way prototypical. In fact I believe that for most (but not all) rune-carvers rounded runes were the prototype, and when this wasn’t adhered to it was for stylistic or utilitarian reasons.

Runes that don’t follow this aesthetic -- which is most actual runes -- will not even be recognized as runes by most people.

The rest is long and full of images so I will save your dash but the punchline is that if you want to save the runes from Nazis the first step is knowing them -- not as the Nazis conceived of them but as they exist in the wild, because then you realize that what was taken was nothing compared to what we rob ourselves of by falling for imposter “tradition.”

If runes had been used continuously they would probably be about as different from Latin letters as Greek and Cyrillic scripts -- that is, no inherent stylistic differences, just different inherited underlying shapes. I mean, look at early Latin script:

(Lapis niger)

(Duenos inscripion)

(Lapis Santricanus)

This beautiful text here is Gothic, the precious lovechild of runes and the Greek alphabet. The result of adapting to new contexts and new challenges.

The reason runes aren’t as diverse in appearance as Latin is because there just isn’t as much of them. If they were used for writing long texts they’ve probably have developed minuscules and all sorts of other variants. But even within the much more limited corpus we see that runes can be:

soft

(Tune stone)

(Möjbro stone)

regular and professional

(Vadstena bracteate, this btw is typical of bracteates which by numbers are most of the elder futhark corpus)

curvy:

(Björketorp runestone -- notice even the m (#6 on 3rd line), d (there’s a bunch of them), and k (#7 on second-to-last line) runes have curves).

minimalist

(HS 12, staveless runes)

stylized

(Kragehul spearshaft; we can file the Gallehus horn underst “stylized” as well, the goldsmith was trying to be fancy and fucked up so he had to squeeze the last bit in)

(Bramham Moor ring, drawing by Georg Stephens)

chaotic

(Ribe skull... yeah, literally a piece of skull... with what’s believed to be a charm for a headache)

tiny

(Saltfleetby spindle whorl... an invocation of Óðinn, Heimdallr, and Þjálfi(?))

There is a huge amount of variation of each rune

(From Texts and Contexts of the Oldest Runic Inscriptions by Tineke Looijenga)

they even borrow from other futharks

(Stentoften stone; the circled runes are both reflexes of *jērą (at this point, *ār) but the second is an ideograph for ‘harvest’ that is not contemporary to the stone)

(Ög 43, that’s an elder futhark d-rune in a younger futhark inscription (1st on second line); image manipulated to make it more legible)

I mean look at this badass

(Rök stone... standard early short-twig and then BAM! Elder goð damn futhark in the 800′s (bottom and leftmost line)! I mean the carver doesn’t know how to use it properly but damn. And then that’s not enough so then the cheeky bastard breaks out MULTIPLE PATTERNS OF CIPHER RUNES (top and third line of tunes from the top. )

they can have serifs

(Malton dress pin)

they keep up with the times

(AM 748 I b 4to, The Third Grammatical Treatise from c. 1300-1325... an essay by Snorri’s nephew that talks about how to write in runes, by the way, I’ve been shoving this down people’s throats for years and can’t get anyone to care)

or go their own way

(Codex Runicus, from about the same time as the previous, this doesn’t look very out of time to us now but everyone was writing like in the image immediately above at the time)

I mean, guys. And don’t not click the links, please. I’m begging you

(Lbs 1349 4to)

(Lbs 636 4to)

(Huld, ÍB 383 4to)

and like not to toot my own horn or anything but

nobody is seeing this and thinking “white nationalist.”

ek iafnuel skrifa i litlum stǫfum sem ek bio til ek jafnvel skrifa í litlum stǫfum sem ek bjó til ‘I even write in minuscules that I invented.’ Can you tell I really love Gothic script? Would love to see what others would come up with, what would pick up and spread, what variants would coexist.

Also I mean it’s not like you even need to use runes to write in runes

(Ciphers in AM 687 d 4to, the earliest copy of the Icelandic Rune Poem. Along the bottom are villuletur, a substitution cipher. Conveying information but preventing most people from accessing it was always an important part of runes)

shit, you don’t even have to write anything (link to instructions on how to spell using rune kennings)

Here’s the thing. Nazis are idealist essentialists, they believe in the “original” “unpolluted” archetypal proto-form of things. Runes have never been any of those things. Runes have always been artists trying to one-up each other, nerds trying to push the boundaries of weirdness, young punks scrawling graffiti, and at least later on also moms carving shopping lists so dad doesn’t forget that little Sigríðr needs new gloves. Stop holding yourself to a standard that doesn’t exist because you found it in a book by some crypto-fascist masquerading as a runologist. From the second person to carve runes on, there were no prototypical runic forms -- carvers saw a variety of related symbols standing for the same thing, formulated their own idea of their own prototype of it and how to use it, and deployed it in combination with context plus willingness to put in time and effort. The beauty of runes is -- like all writing -- is their infinite potential for creative expression.

This post makes heavy use of resources from Arild Hauges Runer, which goes uncited above because Arild mostly collects sources from elsewhere, but it would be wrong not to credit him for all his work.

[lozenger8]

Answer questions given by the person who tagged you, write 11 new questions of your own, tag 11 people.   I was tagged by @scottstiles. Thanks!

I’m not going to tag people, but I did add some questions, if you felt like doing an interview today. 

1- if you could go back to one major decision you made that impacted the path of your life and change it, would you? what was it? how do you think your life would be different? or don’t answer those second two questions, if you don’t want to.

I wish I had opened myself up more when I was younger: joined some kinds of clubs, gone out and found people to hang out with, got myself a job so at least I was interacting with other people more even if it was in a minimum wage retail position. I didn’t know how to connect with people, so rather than trying to learn how, I closed myself off more. And now I’m a fully-grown adult who’s really obviously awkward in most social situations. 

2- in what direction does your belief lean (like, you don’t have to agree with my description of it, but what fits your image best):

a single/multiple divine power that controls every facet of our existence (or like, any traditional religious worldview), with or without free will? a harmonious interconnected universal complex that directs matter and energy but is affected by our existence in said universe? everything is just a series of random events passing through time and everything that happens, everything we do, makes the next thing happen, but it could have happened any other way as well.

I’m not sure I believe everything is entirely random, but mostly random, yes. I don’t believe in any sort of divine power. If I did, I don’t think I’d view it kindly. 

3- on that topic, what do you think happens when we die? do we go to heaven/hell or some other religious construct? do we have a soul that sticks around? reincarnation? do we just… end, and decompose, and that’s it? what do you really think? are you afraid to find out you were wrong?

I think I do believe in an imprint of the energy we once had living on in some way; in the memories people have of us, in the stories that will be told, in that sort of weird way places seem to retain energy from events and people that existed within them. But, we decompose and the circle of life continues, and the ‘you’ that you think of ceases to be.

4- tell me about a moment in a movie or a show that made you go all tingly inside, like, that really special tingle, and every time you see it you get those feelings again.

When Sam went back to 1973 in Life on Mars [spoilers, but it’s been 11 years so fuck you.] If I think about it (and I did very shortly after it happened), I get critical, and I hate how Matthew Graham, one of the show’s creators frames it, but the emotional reaction was absolute fucking joy and no joke, I sobbed my eyes out. For like, 20 mins. And cried again a week later at a bus stop, going to an interview. I never, ever expected it, because it’s narratively not the ending the show had been building towards up until that episode. But, fuck, it still hits me like a tonne of bricks that Sam chose Gene and Annie and ‘73. 

For something that’s a simpler tingle, how about when Ben & Leslie in Parks and Rec got engaged. I also cried then. 

5- what’s your go-to method for letting out stress?

Watching beloved inconsequential comedy, like Whose Line and Taskmaster and Would I Lie to You. Fun shit that doesn’t make me think but does make me laugh.

6- what are 3 of your favorite words (english or otherwise)? why do you love them? the way they sound? the way they look? what they mean? (i usually would answer this based on sound, kinda like fave color, just a feeling).

I like petrichor, defenestration, and fuck. 

Petrichor is a word we use for the smell of rain after a dry spell, and there’s something very calming about it. I like defenestration because I love how we have a word for throwing someone out of a window and it sounds fancy. And fuck’s such a multi-purpose word that’s fun to say. 

7- this isn’t so original but i wanna know- if you could live in any other period of time, in any part of the world, what would it be and why? or would you even? would you if you could choose your station/place in society?

You know what? I don’t think I would, because there are so many great things happening in the world at the moment alongside all the shit, the level and access we have to tech is phenomenal, and it’s easy to say the grass is greener, but the truth is you need to water your own grass.

8- is there anything you’ve ever done or ever happened to you that you absolutely never ever could ever tell anyone about? not even your soulmate or someone who would never judge you? if so, does it bother you, or do you have it tucked away in your mind and never think about it?

No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty lucky. 

9- which teen wolf cast member would you get along with best? not who would you like to be in a relationship with, but who do you think you’d have the best relationship with (romantic/platonic/otherwise)? if you don’t think you know any of them well enough… which one would you bone? boooooooooone all night long?

Based on their personas, I think I’d get along well with Tyler Hoechlin and Arden Cho best. They both seem like really good people who are well-meaning and can play along with jokes, but aren’t ‘on’ all the time. I also think I’d get along with Dylan and Tyler Posey when they’re in their more sedate mode, but I’d probably roll my eyes a lot at them when they’re in peak Boy mode. 

10- do you have a talent/skill that you feel is really underrated or underused by you or others? is there something you’re really proud of but have nobody to brag to about it because nobody you know really cares at all? brag to me.

I really wish my parents had realised just how good a singer I am in comparison to other people and had bolstered me rather than telling me to shut up. I wish I had pursued more of my singing/acting/speaking abilities. Other people now always tell me I’m a fantastic singer, and yeah, I wish they had fostered that confidence in me to perform. 

11- do you think it’s truly possible to be happy if you never have a significant other(s) for the rest of your life? could you ever be?

You probably shouldn’t have asked this question while I’m listening to Moses Sumney’s ‘Doomed’; “Am I vital, if my heart is idle. Am I doomed?”

I think it’s possible for people in general to be happy without an S.O, yes. Me personally, I don’t know. I sure hope so. I’m a highkey romantic that no one’s ever romanced and it’s definitely the thing that sends me the most into depression spirals. And, you know, I don’t mean roses and chocolates and moonlight serenading, though if you serenaded me I would cry. I mean the romance of someone knowing you and thinking of you and caring about you even on your off days. Someone who thinks of you and feels lighter because their connection to you makes their life better. I’ve never had that, and at this stage, I think I probably never will? 

The truth of this comes down to: I’ve never tried online dating or app dating or anything like that because putting myself out there like that and getting rejected, or worse, hurt, sounds equally as horrible as living as I currently do: which isn’t always happy, but is mostly safe and stable. 

1. Is there anything you like that you will get defensive about, even though you know you’re overreacting?

2. Do you eat out/get take-out a lot? What’re your go-to dishes? If you cook more: what dishes do you most like to prepare?

3. Are there any musical artists or specific songs that you love that you could say are objectively bad, but you don’t care, you love them anyway. 

4. Is there anything from your cultural heritage that you’d like to learn more about? 

5. What’s your favourite time of day and why?

6. Do you have any favourite fictional characters that make you worry about yourself? They’re basically terrible in every regard but something in you connects to them?

7. What’s your second biggest fear?

8. If you could rewrite one relationship you’ve had in your life, what would it be? 

9. Do you have a favourite song? When did it become your favourite?

10. What is a scent that you dislike?

11. Is there a place you’ve visited that you’d like to go back to some day?

[mechanicalriddle]

the dichotomy between @doctormoreau and I’s characters is really interesting actually, and vasileios is doing a really good job w it

Argyris is old; he’s seen a lot of shit in his life, hes clearly DONE a lot of shit in his life, some of which was almost unquestionably evil (though we do not yet know the precise details). He’s a cynic, he’s seen the world enough to know that the safest way to observe it is by seeing the worst in it.

Siobhan is young; she’s still a kid. She’s spent her whole life isolated, away from the world. everything is still relatively new and exciting! She gets to do things! Explore! Make mistakes! And she had this idea that outside of her mansion she would find happiness, not... Darkness. And despite her heritage, her upbringing, everything she’s been through, she’s still got this childish enthusiasm that determinedly seeks out the good in everyone and everything. 

They’re both wizards. Argyris is quiet and restrained in his practice of the arts, while siobhan is brash, destructive, and her powers barely contained. Argyris has spent years practicing and studying in a university setting; siobhan has a crash-course in magic she strung together from various books after being locked in her parent’s library for hours on end to keep her weird tiefling self out of their hair.

& THEIR INTERACTIONS ARE SO GREAT. we found this room full of shelves and shelves of these weird, glowing bottles & jars & things. Argyris had a hunch, and used his magic to figure out what was going on... Of course, the bottles were actually filled with livings souls, bound to this mortal coil and suspended in liquid when they should be being ferreted off to the afterlife. Siobhan caught him in the middle of telepathically communicating with one of these souls, and argyris explained what she couldn’t infer directly (with her 18 INT score)

her first instinct was of course to fucking pocket one of these things; argyris stopped her like “hey the fuck u doin?” at which point siobhan explained that she couldn’t stand to see all of these people trapped, dormant, unable to communicate or interact with the world around them... she wanted to take one of these bottles and investigate it, and perhaps figure out how to set these souls free. Argyris, for reasons I get, but am not entirely certain of, thought this was a terrible idea. but he was just so touched by siobhan’s optimism that he pocketed a bottle too... He’s a man of science, and science means multiple trials.

Vasileios described Argyris’s actions as primarily motivated by the fact that he knew, when he was younger, he would have done the exact same thing.

then siobhan got really upset, because she was just so tired of seeing fucked up shit, so tired of this quest to unravel this apocalyptic plot, and all the horrible things science, and corruption, and magic, had intertwined to create. So argyris gave her a big ol dad-hug & at that point I started crying, so

good job vasileios! for destroying me, emotionally. Asshole. (im kidding ily keep up the good work) Argyris is really well done, because i can tell Vasielios is making decisions 100% from a character standpoint, whereas i’m probably letting my own moral judgement cloud my decisions in regards to Siobhan’s behavior.

[wanderingcas]

Week 7: Season 12 Inspired Destiel!

[Thank you, everyone, for your wonderful submissions to Week 6 of Spn Fanfic Submission Thursday!! There’s some absolutely quality fics in this list, so check them out. If you want to participate in next week’s fic submissions, check out the schedule!

Please signal boost so we can get these great fics circulating!]

Things That Will Probably Not Happen in Season 12 by @expatgirl

Three fics from Mary’s POV as she tries to adjust to being alive again, tries to understand her sons, and the guy that seems to live with them. The fourth fic is from Dean’s POV, as he tries to understand the same things.

Teen and Up; Mature for the 3rd fic, 8.7k words. (Complete)

[POV Mary Winchester, POV Dean, Weird family dynamics, Hugs, Swearing, Dissociation, Blood, Prayer, Blow Jobs, Feelings]

Warnings: Mild eye trauma/ mild body horror (not shown), brief suicidal thoughts

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx by @pantheonofdiscord

Dean eases Baby down the frontage road, trying not to look in the rearview mirror as his home gets smaller and smaller behind him.

He’s done this a hundred times. He’s driven down this road in the soft morning light, heading out to some little town in some distant corner of the country. This is a job like any other.

“It’s not like we’re never coming back,” Cas says from the passenger seat.

Dean and Cas and the open road, to the tune of Led Zeppelin. A post-series story in thirteen parts.

Explicit. 82k words. (Complete)

[Dean/Cas, road trips, mutual pining, getting together, case fic, post-series, angst, fluff]

And Back Again by @funnywings

Takes place after the finale. Mourning, loss, and a game of spot the difference between the Cas that used to be and the one Jack brought back. Happy ending guaranteed. 

Teen and Up. 4k words. (Complete)

[Angst, Happy Ending, Dean’s POV, 12.23 Coda]

Warnings: Temporary MCD

This Isn’t How It Was Supposed To Go by @nox-lee

It’s been excruciating all this time without Dean and now he’s finally here. Cas wants to soak Dean in, wants to scrub him clean of the prison grime and smooth away the new lines that have formed on his hardened face. He wants to breathe him in and re-catalogue every freckle. Instead he watches Dean disappear down the hall and slam his bedroom door.

This isn’t how it was supposed to go.

Explicit. 3k words. (Complete)

[12x09, 12x10, coda, angst with a happy ending, smut]

Heaven Help Me by @righteousdemondean

Coda to 12.23 “All along the watchtower” Teen and Up. 647 words. (Complete) [angst, hurt no comfort, dean-centric, drinking mention, alcohol abuse mention, character death]

Please Come Back by @spn-akf-yana

Even months after the events with the portal, neither Sam and Dean have given up on bringing Cas back. Jack doesn’t to begin with know his true heritage so he tries to help, but not knowing how to raise the dead, he opens the portal again, which just brings up bad memories and things become even more complex when he finds out who he is.

Teen and Up. 9.9k words. (Complete)

[angst, post-season 12]

Rebirth by @mrswholmeschester

Set right after season 11, this story explores the new dynamics now that Mary is back. Dean finds out something about himself as he and his family try to find Pandora's box to trap Lucifer. 

Teen and Up. 16k words. (Complete)

[Destiel]

Rage by @darkheartinthesky

Castiel was always too stubborn for his own good–too stubborn to die, even. As Castiel sits recovering, Sam and Dean prepare for their biggest fight yet. Meanwhile, come Hell or high water, Mary Winchester is getting back to her home world.

Teen and Up. 50k words. (WIP) 

[S13 Fic, Hurt!Castiel, Caretaker Dean, Dean Winchester vs Feelings, Supportive Sam, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF!Mary Winchester]

Warnings: Graphic imagery, violence

Feather by @ialwayscomewhenyoucall

Dean mourns Cas after the events of “All Along the Watchtower”

Teen and Up. 336 words. (Complete)

[12x23 coda, angst, grief]

alive by @babybluecas

Cas is standing right before him: same coat, same blue eyes—so radiant and alive, as if they have never lost their light.

Teen and Up. 898 words. (Complete)

[Angst, Castiel’s return, post-season 12, pre-slash, pining]

Warning: Major Character Death

You’re Me and I’m You by @deservetobesaved 

A witch’s spell causes Dean and Cas to switch bodies, much to Sam’s amusement. Dean pretends he’s super annoyed about it (not really) and Cas is just adorable.

Teen and up. 1.5k words. (Complete)

[fluff, crack, body swap, s12, canon divergence]

Conversation Hearts by @mittensmorgul

Following the events of 12.11, Dean takes stock of the things he remembers, and the things he’s always tried to make himself forget. If he can’t make his own words, maybe store-bought is fine.

Teen and Up. 4k words. (Complete)

[Valentine’s Day Fluff, Episode: s12e11 Regarding Dean, Dean Uses Actual Words, even if he has to borrow them from terrible candy, Fluff, Dean rode Larry, and squished a bunny, Love Confessions, First Kiss]

Welcome home, Cas by @xbooksandtea

“Cas,” he whispered, and he was able to hear the blood rushing through the veins in his ears. Shimmering lights were dancing at the corners of his vision. His skin felt both burning hot and ice cold at the same time, the way he imagined it would feel if you dove into a pool while someone branded you with a burning claw – the way that left scars.

General Audiences. 1.6k words. (Complete)

[fluff and angst, reunions]

Memento Mori by @cas-essence

Dean is annoyed to find out that they forgot to wrap up the case of Benjamin’s stabbing. Still, he finds himself intrigued as he is told that the dead angel had owned an apartment and he, Sam and Cas drive back to have a look around. Old wounds are opened and start to heal as Cas is finally able to say goodbye to one of his siblings properly.

General Audiences. 8k words. (Complete)

[ep 12x10, hurt Castiel, hurt/comfort, team free will, pining dean, fluff and angst, Angel headcanons]

Good Scotch (Is the Way to Dean’s Heart) by @braezenkitty

A sort of coda to 12x13, inspired by 12x14 and this post, and set between the two episodes. Dean’s pissed about Mary lying to them and putting lives in danger—for putting Cas’ life in danger. He’s angry and he needs some comfort and distraction. He also needs another bottle of scotch. Castiel provides.

Teen and Up. 3.5k words. (Complete)

[Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Winchester Coping Mechanisms, First Kiss, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant]

Careless by @lies-unfurl

Castiel has always obeyed Ishim.

Explicit. 1.5k words. (Complete)

[Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Castiel, Castiel Whump, Episode: s12e10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets]

Warnings: rape/non-con, suicidal thoughts

Angels Calling by @hefellfordean

Post s12e17: Castiel has tracked down Dagon and Kelly Kline with the help of other angels, after the Winchesters and Eileen let her go, and calls Dean for help. Dean has to deal with Cas’ return to Heaven and is worried about what that means for their relationship.(Basically my guess about what would happen to Kelly Kline before the final episodes aired)

Teen and Up. 2.7k words. (Complete)

[Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, BAMF!Cas]

Just Pretend by @thursdays-fallen-angel

After Sam’s footsteps crunch over the gravel and disappear into the house, the only sound remaining is Dean’s ragged breathing, and the thundering of his own heartbeat in his ears.

General. 2k words. (Complete)

[Angst, 12x23 spoilers, Fix-It]

Hymnal by @humanformdragon

When Castiel meets Mary on the way to the Bunker, they end up talking about the past, and about doubt, and about decisions. Castiel recalls a past Christmas, one where Anna was ordered to carry out God’s will in a village no-one now remembers, and he finds he isn’t so sure of when his first steps towards Falling were taken.

General Audiences. 7.8k words. (Complete)

[Castiel and Mary talk, Conversations, Destiel is background, Mostly me musing on Castiel’s past, s12 time frame]

May I Have This Dance? by @thefiendishfangirl

Mary takes a quiet moment to teach Castiel to dance.

Teen and Up. 1.1k words. (Complete) 

[slow dancing, fluff, implied smut, supportive mary, cockblock sam]

Untitled by @deanwinchcester

Based on this post. Cas can sense lies and confronts Dean on the “you’re our brother” line.

General Audiences. 369 words. (Complete)

[first kiss, 12.19 coda]

lifeless by @casitels

Dean brings Cas’ hand to his lips, and for a moment, he leaves it there.

General. 196 words. (Complete)

[Coda, Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower]

Warnings: Major Character Death

the (not so) reluctant big spoon by @woefulcas

dean and cas get some much needed time together while sam works a case with eileen - sleepy morning cuddles ensue

General Audience. .5k words. (Complete)

[hunter husbands, extreme fluff, sleepy morning cuddles, dean likes being the little spoon but he wants to wrap himself around cS ok, it’s a struggle, s12 should have had more fluff and cuddling and i’m bitter about it]

The Way Out by @awed-frog

Things are going pretty good, which is why Dean should have seen it coming. Sam and Toni are so in love it’s disgusting, the big monsters are all gone or dead, and Dean and Cas - yeah, okay, so they kissed and now they’re kind of together, okay? Shut up.

No, the second Dean had caught himself thinking about food processors and beach holidays, he should have fucking known his happy ending would turn around and kick him in his fucking teeth. And now it has, and they’re supposed to get on a damn plane and put on monkey suits and have Christmas dinner at Lord and Lady Bevell’s, and Dean just can’t - he can’t face it, he can’t breathe, he can’t even see through the injustice of it all, because Cas - Cas -

Mature. 67k words. (Complete)

[Angst and Feels, Pining, Friendship, Time Travel, First Kiss, First Time, Declarations Of Love, Team Free Will, Young Winchesters, Profound Bond, Canon Compliant]

softly; because we are screaming by @cuddlemonsterdean

He’d tried, all through dinner. Fuck, did he try. They’re a family and families eat together. But the food just didn’t wanna go down. As if there were still words locked in his throat, words of hurt and accusation, and they were in the way. The more he tried to get past them, the harder it got to talk. Like his insides were torn between heaving it all up and keeping everything inside.

Teen And Up Audiences. 1k words. (Complete)

[implied/background Deancas, implied one-sided Crowley/Dean, 12x14 Coda]

Warnings: implied panic attack, implied selectively mute!Dean

Season 12 episode codas series by @whichstiel

A series of 24 episode codas for season 12 - one unique story for each episode, plus a bonus story for that Endverse prop photo from episode 2. Features Destiel, Rowena, Mary, Crowley, Lily Sunder, the Banes twins, and Saileen.

Generic to Explicit, 32.5k words. (Complete)

The sun cannot fall from the sky by @the-idiot-under-your-bed

Coda for 12x23. “Just know that no matter what anyone says, they love you. I love you, and Dean loves you. Just, don’t give up, ok? Come back home.” 

Teen and Up. 1.3k words. (WIP)

[12x23 coda, angst, wayward sisters are there too, anger, canon character death, character return?]

The Death of Reservations by @60r3d0m

Maybe at some point, he had stopped believing. But not believing hadn’t stopped him from ducking into the room that he had prepared for Cas’ return every month. Not believing hadn’t prevented him from dusting the shelves and washing the sheets and accumulating stupid knick-knacks for Cas to have because they had reminded Dean of him.

But now Cas is back.

Before Dean can call him, he’s standing in the doorway (coda to 12.23).

Mature. 616 words. (Complete)

[Love confessions, caretaker Dean, Castiel in the Bunker]

All Was Well (Previously: Fuck You) by @hunterangelkisses

Dean might never admit it, but this was all he needed in life: him and his Baby and Cas (who was his second Baby, really) and his brother and Eileen, his mom would be back in a few days… Jody had called to check in earlier with stories about the girls, and even Donna had called the day before to tell them how things were going in Stillwater. In other words, here it is, the sweetest, fluffiest fic ever as a giant FUCK YOU to Bucklemming (or Fucklemming, as I’ve been calling them) and the other SPN writers.

General Audiences. 1.7k words. (Complete)

[fluff, established relationship, marriage proposal, fix-it for 12x21 There’s Something About Mary]

Balance And New Beginnings by @hekate1308

Dean turns his back on his family and the legacy of the Men of Letters when he learns Sam and Mary have been working with their British counterparts behind his back. Joining Cas on good-old-fashioned hunting trips, occasionally aided by Crowley, he soon learns there are more good monsters out there than he ever thought possible. And they need a protector.

Meanwhile, Sam is growing more and more lonely until one day, he looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognize the man staring back at him. Is it too late to return to the brother he’s let down so many times before?

General Audiences. 54k words. (Complete)

[Dean/Cas, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Season 12 AU, post-12x14]

You, You’re Everything by @spearywritesstuff

Castiel tells Dean about his last days in his female vessel. Ishim said that humans were dangerous and that being close to them made one weak, but twice now Castiel has tested that theory, once in 1901 and now with Dean.

General Audiences. 1.7k words. (Complete)

[Coda for 12x10, Lily Sunder Has Regrets]

Say it Again? by @a-fandom-life-for-me

Back in the bunker after the events of 12x12, Dean is furious with Castiel and his deathbed “I love you.” The sexual tension reaches its breaking point and Dean discovers just how much Castiel actually loves him

Mature. 8k words. (Complete)

[Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Season/Series 12, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, Wingfic, Angel Wings, Men of Letters Bunker, Bunker Sex, Castiel in the Bunker, Sam Ships It, Grace-Powered Orgasms, Angelic Grace, Grace Kink, Soul Bond, Love, Anal Sex, Rough Sex]

O’ Christmas Tree Series by @osirisapollo

This series was written before we really knew how terribly anti-family Mary was going to be. It’s based around Christmas/New Years and has the whole Winchester family (including Cas!) happily celebrating the holidays together. Dean/Cas get together series, starting with a ficlet on how Dean figures out his feelings for Cas.

Teen and Up. 13.5k words. (Complete)

[Tooth-rotting Fluff, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Sam Ships it, Mary Ships It, Holidays, Humor, First Kiss, Family Feels, Everything is Fine and Nothing Hurts]

Still Missing (Gotta Tell You Something) by @profound-boning

“I hope they don’t come for you, Cas. God knows what would happen if they somehow found out about the Bunker. If they…”

Dean cuts himself off and Castiel strains to pick up more. Dean’s longing is still strong, and a tug from Sam’s soul echoes in Castiel’s grace. After so many years, Sam is a brother in all but blood to Castiel. And Dean, well. Dean says “you’re our brother” and also “I need you” and Castiel can’t help but think maybe Dean doesn’t always say what’s really in his heart.

General. 2.4k words. (Complete)

[Canon Compliant, Episode: s12e09 First Blood, Coda, POV Castiel. Mutual Pining, Love Confessions]

[againstthegrainphoto]

...too booked to be bothered...

....I might be a little overwhelmed right now...

...with all the work and photos and holidays and shit that’s going on.....

.....but I”ve been holding in so much word vomit, I really need to puke.

so unfortunately due to the fact that facebook is full of people who would judge me and tell me I am wrong and a horrible person and a victim shammer and racist and god knows whatever else after I get these thoughts out....you get them here tumblr! Call me whatever you want.....I couldn’t care less.

tumblr: where I hide nothing and am actually the most real to myself than any other god forsaken social media. I mean how well can you even know someone by their social media though? fucking ridiculous.

So sit down. buckle up. this is going to be an extremely long one, spanning many issues.

First off. I my uncle died on friday. I’ve been silent on the issue. Is it bad I mourn for my mom and his might as well be wife? Not so much him. He spent his life ruining it with drinking and smoking and bad choices that negatively affected those around him. He waited until he couldn’t talk before going to get a fucking TUMOR even assessed by a doctor. and didn’t even sign himself up for medicare until his brother basically did it for him after the “discovery” of the tumor. What do you mean he had throat cancer? I thought 60 years of smoking is good for you?!?!*shock* My heart breaks for my mom and his wife(ish). I am really worried that the wife(ish) is going to be like “well he gave up, so i might as well too”.....like even if it’s not a conscious thought or decision....maybe especially if its not. ya know? the whole situation just sucks.

People are so shitty to each other. So shitty. Like, I’m a not-really-participating-member of the “beauty community” or whatever you want to call it. But I am a fairly large consumer of the beauty world. I have a fucking addiction to makeup. I love it. I want it. I collect it. I spend way too much money on it. I buy it for my friends. I buy it for me. I buy it for my family. And I like to keep up on the front cutting edge of what’s happening and what’s new and what’s available and what is the very best product. I also can’t afford to purchase every high end makeup release, but I do like watching and hearing others opinions about them. It’s just sad to see that the more widely viewed/available/posting reviewers are such shady, backhanded, backstabbing people. And not just that, but fucking FAKE. their videos and such are so positive and good looking, but if you follow them in any other form they show they are such fake ass drama creating bullshit. not to name names, but I literally cannot stand jacylin hill or laura lee or nikki tutorials and thier fucking boring ass makeup and annoying high school personalities....yet they have their own fucking palettes? how are these people the ones that get their fucking name on the make up?? why don’t companies choose people with an ounce of creativity?!??! I’m not saying I love and adore jeffree star....but goddamn he makes cool original and creative products. I also am not a fan of kat von d......but if you make a fucking stunning product...I will buy it. (re: saint/sinner palette.......so far worth every penny....i love it....and really if you do the math you’re paying like $2.60 per shadow in that thing.....totally better than the serpentina palette I talk shit about every chance I get...).....Seeing them as so annoying makes watching their videos close to impossible because you develop such a hatred for them and who they are.

This halloween I had such a hard time stomaching all the bullshit that was being passed around regarding children’s costumes. In my mind I really do think that there is a line...and it’s not THAT gray.....between being disrespectful to a culture (ie “cultural appropriation”) and having an appreciation of a culture. Example: I shared an article about a Chilkat robe that was returned to alaska. I do not believe that having it hung in their house was WRONG. and I feel like I should have clarified this when I shared the article instead of just saying that I appreciated it. What I really appreciated was that an ORIGINAL FUCKING ARTIFACT was returned to its origin to be kept and studied and passed on for the heritage. Hanging native alaskan art I do not believe is wrong. FYI THEY FUCKING SELL IT. YOU CAN PURCHASE IT WHEN YOU GO THERE. THE NATIVE ARTISTS MAKE MONEY THIS WAY. THEY WANT YOU TO BUY IT AND HANG IT ON YOUR FUCKING WALLS. Hanging native american art in your house and admiring it’s beauty IS NOT FUCKING CULTURAL APPROPRIATION. Now what I do believe is not so great would be emphasizing things of a culture that are cliche or negative. Like dressing up as say like a Muslim terrorist for halloween.....That I believe is wrong. Most Muslims are not terrorists........you dressing up as that for halloween is not appreciating their culture...it’s you being part of the problem by promoting the idea that terrorists are Muslim and Muslims are terrorists......but your child wanting to dress up as Mulan or...what was it this year? Moana? right? like there was press about making sure your fucking 6 year old isn’t allowed to dress up as her. I do not think that is not cultural appropriation. The only reason why they would want to dress up like this is because they think this character is the greatest thing ever and want to be them. That is appreciation. And most likely they have zero regard for what color their hero’s skin is. It’s so horrible for a white little girl to want to be Pocahontas or Mulan but how many little not-white little girls wanted to be Ariel or Belle? or Aurora? AND STILL DO TO THIS DAY? no one talks about them? They should not be limited to only wanting to be the princess of their own skin color!! none of the children should. That’s how you fucking START racism is it not?? Jesus christ. I maybe pale as fuck......but just for the record I am a papered and registered native. Like I literally carry a card and have multiple certificates certifying that I am native. Like there is question to even whether or not “eskimo” is a negative slur now apparently. But that’s what my goddamn papers say I am. God I’m just so over all this “cultural appropriation” bullshit we are inundated with every goddamn day. We are all fucking humans. Let us (and children especially) appreciate what we personally like.

Moving on in this word spewing of views that I’m sure some of you don’t agree with.

Fucking sexual assault. Another thing I am so goddamn over right now. Does it need to stop? Fucking yes it does. Some of the things coming out of the woodwork are absolutely appalling. But the problem lies with.....well...THE LIES. Just like a dude is totally capable of sexually assaulting a girl....a girl is totally capable...if not even more capable...of lying about a dude assaulting her. And regarding this within the music scene.....Is there ARE groupies. There are tons and tons of fucking crazy fans out there. I’ve seen them with my own eyes. They’ve left weird comments on my own photos. And that’s partially the problem is that we believe an half crazed girl who says “*insert any talented hack with a bit of fame behind their name here* sexually assaulted me!!!” over any other facts. And if we don’t believe her we are “victim shaming”....Unfortunately, I have seen those that are crazy enough to say something like this to get a bit of fame. I have seen the girl who vaguebooks every goddamn day. I have seen the girl who fucks her way up the social ladder.....it’s only a matter of time before she’ll start claiming “abuse”. Do I think every case is fame fueled, career damaging, revenge for not paying attention to a fan, bat shit crazy bitch claiming sexual assault?....no. not at all. There are fucking disgusting dudes out there making music and have been proven time and time again that they are exactly what they are shown to be: sexual predators. I’m not going to name names.....but I know a couple names that come to the top of my mind. One never had my support......I mean you just can NOT have a target audience with an average age of 12 and have lyrics about “liking it better on the floor” and “make you wanna fuck all night” and “she sucks me till it snows, i’ll fuck her face so hard”.....I”M SORRY. NO. I’m getting pissed off just looking up these fucking horrible lyrics. fucking talentless joke of a human being. I also personally witnessed this person show his full ass to a crowd of fucking 12 year olds. Pretty sure that’s frowned upon and why the spd were out by his bus after the show. Of course....obviously....nothing serious came of it and it was swept under the rug. The other....just makes me sad. His own words were his own conviction. Calling out and berating girls while confessing his less than innocent relations with them in a public form seen by thousands. girl. bye.  So it’s totally not that sexual assault doesn’t happen in the music scene.....but I’ve literally seen more fucking batshit crazy bitches than I have seen sexual preditors. I just feel like no one takes an objective view of it??? it’s all “SHE WAS ASSAULTED!!!! HE DESERVES HIS CAREER RUINED AND DEATH!!!”....no one is listening to the accused in these cases. it’s all a fucking head hunt......I’m seriously concerned for the band decapitation. they’ve been stuck out of their home country for months now. their band is ruined. their reputations are ruined. and unless they ACTUALLY fucking gang raped this spokane girl......well...their lives as they know it are over regardless.....if they actually did rape her then their lives are actually over and they get what they deserve.....BUT so much inconsistencies???....and one of the girls was pulled over for dui?....and is it really going to boil down to whether or not the girl gave consent?....I mean who can be the judge of that??? it’s all going to be on her word.....and she has a documented history of providing false information to the police before??.....christ....what a shitshow......so far the only musician that I can 100% back up the ruining of his career and his death is ian watkins from lostprophets. that dude can die and then fucking rot in purgatory....hell is too good for him.

moving on.

My local scene. my peeps. muh regulars. The division amongst them the past few months has been sad to me. The solidarity that we had a year ago is gone for good. I really don’t think it’s ever coming back. it’s like it got divorced. What’s funny is while I am a part of this group.....I am not TRULY a part of it. even though I consider it my own. I actually have very few friendships within this group, sure I’m facebook “friends” with all these people. But I am more a documenter of this subculture. yeah I look and like and dress the part. yeah I’m at most the events. yeah people are beginning to recognize me without me having ever met them. But but my true real connections are very few. Am I sad about this? no. not at all. I am 120% ok with this. By being someone who is basically outside looking in.......I can see things perhaps others don’t see. Some of the most “popular” people in this crowd........they are not the most beautiful people. And this has nothing to do with appearance. We are goth. We are all beautiful on the outside. But that just means I will avoid them. Basically if I avoid you.....that means I see you as a either negative input in my life and I don’t want it or I am unsure of how you feel about me. If I make an effort to spend time with you....that means I see you as a positive energy and I’ll take all I can get. lol. Honestly though. it’s like the cool photographer’s club.....the same people. at the same shows. every time. I don’t need it. I don’t need others approval. I don’t take photos for others. I take photos for me. if others enjoy them. that’s cool. But they’re for me. it’s like my image journal and/or catalogue of all the cool shit i’ve seen in my life. all the songs i’ve heard. My boss was all “I went to a concert once”......I’m like.....I’ve been to four in the past week and I’m drowning in photos. I think it’s bullshit to do free photos for national touring artists then charge the locals to even take photos. that’s being part of the problem. What new good bands are there? Everything happening right now is shit from the mid 2000s if not earlier. in the past like 18 months or so i’ve seen genitorturers, my life with the thrill kill kult, lords of acid, combichrist, christian death, incubus, jimmy eat world, wednesday 13, pig, orgy/julien k, iron maiden, gwar, vertical horizon, everclear, fastball, sabaton, eve 6, vanessa carlton, john 5, dope, lordi, powerman5000, pretty boy floyd, buckcherry, sebastian bach, opeth, faster pussycat, marilyn manson, slipknot, korn, rob zombie, 16 volt, tim skold, filter......HONESTLY the only newcomer with any staying power is fucking GHOST. which is why I’m even on this godforsaken site. Also in this moment might *MIGHT* have staying power....their show is pretty goddamn epic. It’s just not my thing though. I’m not into it. I mean....not gonna lie.....I liked the beautiful tragedy album.....when they played live they had screens with their logo on it and she was in a little yellow sundress and converse sneakers. Let me know if you want to see those photos. lolz. I laugh at those who photo for likes on facebook or instagram. it must be such a sad existence. A cool photog i’ve connected with recently is photoslavery...look her up......we have a lot of the same views on things and it’s refreshing to find another photog doing it for the fucking ART of doing it. also we use a similar arsenal of tricks.....which is funny......cause it’s a pretty unpopular/unknown?(doubtful)/unappreciated set up. But I obviously don’t listen to what’s known and popular. I heard a phrase the other day that just resonated with me....”too booked to be bothered”.....THAT IS ME. lol. I do not have time to be bothered by trivial things from irrelevant sources....

well I’ve been typing for ages. and I feel a bit better after I’ve vomited all this out. it’s been a rough few weeks.