#i have so many thoughts about accepting things and letting go and controlling emotions

[girlscience]

BUT WHEN WILL I EXPERIENCE AN ANCIENT CALLING THE REQUIRES ME TO GIVE UP MY LIFE AND GO ON A LIFELONG QUEST FOR KNOWLEDGE AND PROTECTING INNOCENTS

[rosesnbooks]

Astrology observations #5🖤

🌜I wrote these for fun, based on how i see these placements. i'm not a professional! hope you enjoy these🌛

⭐cancer placements allow themselves to feel their emotions. they may get annoyed by the intensity or the amount of them, but they process them fully, and this makes it easier for them to move on. random thought but writing letters to people they like may be something they do or did as kids haha. they're very romantic

⭐some aries venuses have obsessive tendencies when they have a crush, and they get frustrated a lot if they think they can't/shouldn't pursue them. they enjoy the tension, but they don't want it to last too long because they dislike not being in control, and having feelings for someone leaves them feeling too vulnerable. that's why they try to move on if they can, but it takes work. when they do find someone, they become really clingy but they still need freedom when it suits them

⭐mars in libra avoid conflicts and try to be reasonable about everything, but if they think you crossed a line, you'll see why aries is their sister sign pretty soon. once they tell you off, you'll never see them the same way, so underrestimate them at your cost

⭐having stelliums can be interesting. it for sure puts a lot of emphasis on the influence of that house on your life, and i found that it can be both positive and negative since they face lots of challenges related to their house but also many blessings. those who have stelliums kind of embody multiple characteristics simultaneously

⭐sun in the 11th people glow when they are with their closest friends. they also tend to dream big and care a lot about the world. their friends usually help them in their future goals. they feel a bit different than people in their hometown/country, mostly because they cannot be tied down to a single culture because they enjoy different things, which usually makes them quite open-minded and tolerant. they can be picky about the people they let in super close though

⭐mars in the 6th can procrastinate a lot actually, but they get things done. may get sudden waves of high energy and get things done rapidly and extensively. they expect a lot from themselves regarding their ambitions and aspirations. they try to improve themselves in any way most of the time, but they should also accept their current state if they want to evolve and love themselves. they need to watch out for their moral perfectionism too. it's okay to make mistakes as long as you apologise and strive to change for the better

⭐i've found that virgo mercuries can be really direct, even if they are shy or don't talk much around strangers or acquaintances, they have their moments. super funny too

⭐north node in cancer struggle with accepting their vulnerable side. they hate feeling like things and people can evoke strong emotions in them. they want to be more detached, but those that work on themselves find it very rewarding once they embrace their strong emotions. they can also be really reliable, practical, and thoughtful

⭐fire+water combinations in birth charts-i am sending you a hug. i know exactly how difficult it is to keep all those emotions under check, and that you need a lot of understanding and rest to function. use those emotions and passions well hun, you are strong and capable. you have a lot of empathy and wonder inside of you

⭐capricorn sun/mercury have a dry way of texting. their humor is difficult to read via text and they simply are not fans of texting, and it shows lol

⭐aries mercuries are not always available online and they may come and go when they're online, but they'll answer all of your messages one by one with lots of enthusiasm. they also like to send memes and joke around a lot

⭐virgo mercuries are not fans of texting and they can answer you after a couple of days or so even if they really like you. similarly to aries, they'll make sure they answer everything and they also pay attention to every detail you mention. very sweet really. their humor shines brighter in person

⭐taurus moon are very capable. they may prefer rest over anything else, but their patience and dedication to the things they need to do is really cool. they are calm most of the time so it's nice to be around them, just don't disrespect them and everyone will thrive

⭐taurus venus men can be really possessive. even if you like such behavior, some can go to extremes and try to control how you feel, think, and behave. they have a specific image of an ideal partner and they want you to fulfill it

⭐libra venus tend to care about how they look and present themselves so they put lots of effort into that. they also have standards when it comes to beauty and some expect others to dress and look well, whether they know them or not

⭐women with venus in aquarius-you may be attracted to men who are mysterious and act like they're special. just be careful because there are so many toxic ones out there who want a relationship but not truly, because they don't want to dedicate themselves to you and maybe plan on using you

⭐pisces moon can feel like they're drowning in their own emotions sometimes because they cannot control them easily and they tend to give in. if they like to portray themselves as a martyr these emotions can get out of hand because they let those emotions lead them which influences their mental health and relationships. those who are developed process these emotions and try to figure them out and let them pass. they can learn a lot about themselves and others this way. creative outlets can be of help to process this

⭐leo moon need to watch out for hurting people when their ego is hurt because they can lash out and make lots of damage. take a second to think whether it's worth it or not, since there is no point in trying to "win" in a fight with someone you love

⭐pisces mars can be too forgiving, especially to those they care about. don't let people walk over you dear, no matter who they are. nobody deserves that kind of treatment

thank you for reading!🤍i also offer paid astrology readings, so check out my blog for more info

©rosesnbooks

[azure-cherie]

|𝑃𝐿𝑈𝑇𝑂 𝐴𝑆𝑃𝐸𝐶𝑇𝑆 |

What does Pluto represent?

It represents regeneration, metamorphosis, to change and become into something new , it represents innermost feelings, what have you discarded, thrown locked away , it can show where your blockages might be , and acknowledging them and healing them will lead you to embody yourself more , the core step of regeneration is acception so accept yourself for all the darks and lights and greys they will show you your own soul beautiful, empowering, unfearful.

This post is based on what's observed if it doesn't resonate please check other placements 🌷 This post can be read for tropical as well as vedic astrology however in vedic the outer planets don't matter as much .

Tw : I have tried to be honest and some stuff can be triggering please know that these are general observations

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Sun 🌞

Conjunct: These people go through a lot early on , like rejections, rumours that their kindness is fake , as they get older they get famous for a new look of theirs for example, someone maybe known for being a chocolate boy when younger but they age like fine wine as they get older , they like to take major risks in life . Their energy stays hidden from people who don't appreciate it in a way they will only embody their true self when they're truely appreciated . Their inner child is oftentimes locked and can be accessed and healed through breathing exercises, sunbathing, helping out poor children or lost souls.

Trine : They are known mostly for having a profound balance in what they do , like a beauty with brains type of vibe , they get famous for things they do authentically , are you ready to show yourself to the world if yes it will take you for all that you got , now you choose . A good placement for bombshell beauties , they are known for their unique looks eg : Angelina jolie, grace kelly , really revolutionary.

Sextile: They have a very experimental fashion and with every look of theirs , their outlook towards life changes , change in styles give them growth . Might be kind of control freaks and perfectionists but they actually work best in chaos and unpredictability gains a lot for them. Men with this are known to be very brave and powerful. People with this take challenges and criticism very well and use it to their advantage .let go of the mentality that society will only love you when you have all of the best things , infact the people who love you will love you regardless.

Square: These people literally have cults , their views are so strong that only people who really want to believe and deal take them , they will throw your triggers at your face. Believers of tough love , they might be a little too misunderstood, it takes time for people to get through their layers . You may think , here finally i know this person, but you'll be shocked about how much more they have to offer .

Opposite: These people have a lot of internal struggles , they often choose the wrong people to trust , fame isn't the best thing for them , a quite luxurious happy life is something they are content with . They have a very sophisticated face , they have a look of I'm satisfied but watch me do more kinda face . They are often famous for their aesthetic choices . Tw : fame may lead to early death , unless they learn to navigate it .

Moon 🌙

Conjunct: People have too many views about them and their mental health, they may suffer from a lot but you don't have to remind them , they already know and are working. They have a great spectrum of emotions and can be well known for writing their innermost thoughts. Intuitive and good at channeling and connected to their daimon. Divine inspiration always leads them . They have a very enticing and captivating face . Sometimes their speech is confusing, but they are trying to do good for you , might be a little rough at times.

Trine : They are intellectual and can provide anyone with sufficient motivation to do something. Good at telepathy and communication. They hold the power to influence people for good and bad . Have an easy navigation about their emotions. Some people might hate or be jealous because of how well they can navigate their triggers.

Sextile: They are soft and pure hearted , oftentimes known for their activism and support all the people around them with open hearts , it's a good placement for psychologists . They are known to persist despite all the hurdles around them . They like punk rock , and like to speak on dark topics for the welfare of society . Liked by many because of their authenticity .

Square : They like to mainly stay away from social media , as too much presence leads to people building wrong assumptions about them . They have revolutionary and conflicting views about things . These people regret not taking the right action at the right time . Can turn out to be manipulative and self sabotaging .

Opposite: They can be narcissistic, too absorbed. Though they introduce new trails of ideas , their speech is oftentimes too extreme and unacceptable. They are well known for their work . Known for their sad personality they feel things really deeply and are often confused about their own emotions. They have deep voices. People can really relate to their cries for help , they just need to have peace with themselves, and know that not everything shouldn't be known by everyone.

Mars ♦️

Conjunct : makes one a visionary for change , sometimes destruction. They have violent control of their emotions. Feels isolated initially which they turn into super power and channel it through their art and daily life . They can give great advice on just about anything, people trust them but also fear them .

Trine : hates to be ignored , when someone disregards them they get in moods of ignorance . Likes attention. They attract men who are a bit passive aggressive. Good at calisthenics , a lot of people consider their body to be a piece of art . Prone to knee injuries.

Sextile : common placement for royalty and fame after marriage ( rich powerful men ) . The people with this placement need to learn to love themselves, can be too fixated on others to love them which in turn creates a void, when they are developed , they enjoy themselves a lot , a very nice business mind and can give a good sense of life and the game of it . Lowkey reminds me of Shera .

Square : They like boyish clothing, can be stuck in scandals for example : Mila kunis for her age, courtney for the m*****r of Kurt, Kristin Stewart for cheating . They have a great sense of confidence , people try to copy them a lot . Usually they are trend setters in rare sectors . They tend to have a pull for life and the purpose of it but are confused often .

Opposite: Gives one strong sense of justice , however at times it could bounce back on them , for example they raised their voice against some injustice, it indeed hampers their image . Being a mediator is a peaceful case for them but if they choose to go for their heart that is true, they experience turbulence , initially until they realise life is all about give and take . Might give you a square face and lean body .

Venus 🦪

Conjunct : god knows you know about the deadly charm they exude , when Venus is conjunct pluto every step that you take towards healing and facing that is coming towards you , you are blessed in beauty ( how don't ask me try ) you become so self assured and so much more confident, they also have an air of knowing a lot even though they are still learning holy shit the grasp they have upon us .

Trine : These people can really turn their hurt into their power , they strive to get something in life, they know that whatever happens they can get out of it, so beautifully reminds me of the phoenix , rise like a beautiful song .

Sextile : you're intense you're full of depth and beauty, they have deep philosophical and in the core know that money cant buy all happiness but it's essential for their survival, they know how to strike a balance in life and really are the masters of their own fate

Square : Venus and Pluto forming squares gives one a drastic drive to be their authentic self to accept themselves in all their forms be it good bad or weird they aren't afraid to go through the little deaths in the self discovery of finding themselves again and again . They have many aha moments as they are always learning something new about themselves.

Opposite: this placement could bring internal struggles about looks and money , they think they can't manifest money but it's already written, these placements agree for you to accept them and work with them for your benefit. However this could also lead to them having a god complex and a feeling that they can do no wrong .

Jupiter ✨

Conjunct : These people are one of a kind very wise and you know those kinda people who give great advice because they have f*****d up in real time so with all they have gone through they try to live the best lives for themselves and everyone around them , these people are also very lucky in gambling, lottery and stock market .

Trine : blessed in marriage and business with people who see themselves in their true aura and still choose to love them. These people are dominating and they know what they want , don't like people correcting them too much.

Sextile : with a trine in this position one might go through this thing of being bad or fluctuating with money , once you have a lot other time you're blaming yourself for spending too much but be assured that no matter what , what you lose you will earn it back again too . They like to help the oppressed and the outcast .

Square : when in square you really go through the challenging times , the key to why you're great is because you can always self discover yourself again that's why the people around you see you in such a light of a leader , you're like a hierophant to the lost people because you found yourself again .

Opposite: you might feel unlucky that your luck doesn't work in your favour but her we talk about the solution so the thing is you're meant to work alright this pretty much like working on a child , you have to love your inner child so much so truly . you work hard for the benefits they work a little late but they def work c'mon it's with jupiter ain't no way jup ain't blessing you.

Mercury 🖊️

Conjunct: they know that the emotions they have good or bad are a result of innermost issues , very aware of their problems and solutions . Makes one a very good person to go for advice . Good in the logical sector , they like to chill or spend time reading stuff. They study or seek mental stimulation in times of distress

Trine : they can bring out their innermost desires easily through art and literature, healing when it comes to skin is fast for them , their brains work in a very result oriented manner , they think about the consequences and possibilities before doing something drastic . Makes one a lover of fiction of all kinds .

Sextile : They really find inspiration in the things most people don't see . They pay attention to the things most people ignore and find a way to use it to get a hold of information. These are the people with a variety of information in all sectors ,though conjunction and trine gives the intelligence, they choose to restore more as a built mechanism to enchant people

Square: this gives a hard time accepting this for what they truly are might lead to some anxiety and adhd issues , this could make one scared of changes . Early age bullying could be seen but with time , the youth of mercury and the resilience of Pluto makes one a visionary, someone who knows so much.

Opposite: might have a hard time to channel logic , though their emotions are alright . Might fall for fake promises and they have to work on their people pleasing tendencies. This gives one a hunger to do better in life , eventually they see that all that their mind is feeding them isn't true and they can always do better than what they have been taught .

Saturn 🪐

Conjunct :makes one a very disciplined person , they strive to work hard . You know the lana lyric " I'm doing it for all of us who never got the chance , and all my birds of Paradise " like wise they work hard so everyone around them can be happy and healthy, they make great people to bond with if you wanna succed in life and are looking for like minded people.

Trine : they are very hardworking towards what they want very goal oriented people. One thing i have seen is they can never work unless their work space is really clean , an organised view of things make their mind work better . People see them as someone who can be stiff at times , you can sometimes let loose is alright and appreciated to enjoy life .

Sextile : This works kind of like Saturn retrograde, the initial obstacles remain while Saturn gives the bad later in life when one has proven worthy to have something . Since life has thrown away them a lot of times they learn to be really humble , and try to assess all the possibilities before being sad about something. They understand that life is what you make it.

Square : might have a hard time following routines , they blame their luck a lot for having problems . When they get into healing themselves they have to deal with a lot of intense inner conflict and they might not take it very well , however to have a strong mind one has to deal with this tw might fall into depression. They come out stronger than ever knowing the power of free will .

Opposition: they believe rules are meant to be broken and i believe though this is opposition and might be malefic but being with Saturn and Pluto this gives one a very idgaf mentality which it turns out good for most times as one doesn't spend too much time contemplating. Might ignore their problems at times . But once in life the urge to get their life on track will occur and they will set things right for themselves. They want what they want by hook or by crook .

Uranus 🪻

Conjunct : They orchestrate changes, they are potent in telling people why they should do some things and why some things will bring them the better , they can really motivate people to live life for themselves. Usually they have strong sense of justice and remain very grounded .

Trine : They are free spirited, charming people , one thing about them is they can really see what others don't they can really put up the themes regarding what's beautiful and what's ugly and bring it to the world , work really hard to bring about equality in the society .

Sextile : This is a placement for the psychics healers and mystical beings , they learn that their position in the world is to heal and through their consistent efforts they heal themselves as well as others . They might find themselves in a state of dilemma sometimes as they are always energized with new ideas , they learn to channel it eventually.

Square : people with this can be a little stiff and scared about changes , they want things to be the same but to realise life's all about changes and how good one does to cope with it . These people are also very good at keep people on their toes. They guide themselves back to themselves. With this placement you don't loose your sense of self.

Opposite: A lot of people have their eyes on them and every move they make so they feel anxious and try to avoid changes . This placement can make one a control freak but if you choose to have faith in yourself and flow sometimes in life you will see the beauty of things that aren't forced , changes are necessary, cultivate the courage it requires to change .

Neptune 🌀

Conjunct : makes one a good artist , bestows beauty , other worldliness . Your dreams make so much impact in you daily life . Manifestation is your power you make it work for you all the damn time . It could bestow good healing powers and career in the therapy sector of all kinds. And this gives so much mystery to people.

Trine : They find very creative ways to channel their energy, might make one a bit lazy . They can work their emotions in a very creative way and achieve great things in life on the basis of their belief systems . Also good at predictions and reiki and astrology.

Sextile : These people are always full of surprises they have so much to give to the world , often they can come off as delusional but eventually they prove everyone wrong by getting all they want . However to warn the laziness if given a chance to grow will grow, so avoid it and go make the life you deserve

Square :. They have bizarre dreams , they aspire for a dreamland and seek ways to make the world a paradise , this in positive sense as they work hard to do things their way . Their homes are always so pretty and decorated . They can make anyone relax and calm down from the chaos . To truly grow in life they have to move with wisdom and have to accept all changes and chances with bravery.

Opposite : tw , this could lead to some sort of depression, addiction or inner conflicts , they seem and feel lonely or left out , they are great artists but their minds might be a little dark place to be in . To channel this energy properly is one great thing to live with the darkness and transmute it into light is great . Be sure of what you want and never ever bow down to what is trying to bring you down

I hope you enjoyed reading this post 🫂thank you so much, please consider reblogs and feedback it helps .

Suggestions for any post are open through the ask box

Have a great day/ night 😚

[aphroditelovesu]

Can you do general headcanons for romantic yandere Clarisse la rue x reader? Thank you <3

❝ 🥀 — lady l: definitely! I hope you like these hcs, anon! Forgive me for any mistakes and good reading ❤️.

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of death, kidnapping and toxic relationships.

❝🥀pairing: yandere!clarisse la rue x gender neutral!reader.

Clarisse has never been the romantic type or cares about that kind of thing. She had other concerns than dating or something like that, she preferred to dedicate her time to other and more productive things. Her time was spent fighting and honing her skills. La Rue kept that thought in mind for a long time, until she laid her eyes on you.

At first glance, you seemed like just another demigod among many others she had already met. However, as you began to interact and she got to know more about you, something changed within her. There was something about you that attracted her and she knew she wanted more.

Gradually, Clarisse began to realize that perhaps there was more to life than simply fighting and honing her skills. You awakened a different curiosity in her, a desire to explore new experiences and feelings. You awakened feelings she had never felt before and she knew she wanted more. She knew she wanted you and she would have you.

When Clarisse finally acknowledged that she was in love, a series of conflicting emotions flooded her. She felt vulnerable and challenged, something completely new for someone so used to maintaining a facade of strength and independence. At the same time, she felt invigorated, as if she was finally discovering a part of herself that had been neglected for so long. And all thanks to you.

This revelation brought with it a feeling of euphoria mixed with fear. Euphoria from the overwhelming feeling that consumed her when she was near you, but fear of the unknown, of what could happen if she allowed herself to completely surrender to this new emotional territory. Clarisse was distraught at the thought of losing control but she wasn't going to let you get away.

As Clarisse's feelings for you intensified, she found herself in unfamiliar and challenging territory. The idea of ​​being in love made her uncomfortable and vulnerable, but at the same time excited and motivated. She never imagined that she could feel something so strong for someone, and it scared her a little at first.

She also saw in you a challenge, a goal, a prize to be won. And she would be the one to win you over. If she had competition, Clarisse would deal with them however she pleased. She would challenge them to a fight and, if they still didn't stay away from you, she would deal with them in a more definitive way. She does not want and will not accept having any type of competition for your love and attention.

And most of all, she was determined to win your heart and not let anyone else come between the two of you. You would be hers one way or another. She wouldn't like to have to force you to love her or do something against your will, but Clarisse isn't against using the strength she possesses against you if necessary.

Clarisse would be practical. After an exhausting workout, she took a shower and asked to talk to you. Fortunately, you already had a good relationship to make things easier.

When you were together, La Rue confessed how she felt about you. She let it all out in an awkward way, but she let it. You were swept away by her words and when you accepted your feelings, Clarisse blushed, she actually blushed. She pulled you into a passionate, possessive kiss and finally sealed her love, her obsession.

The relationship with her is suffocating and very unstable and this became clear very quickly. Clarisse was not clingy, but rather possessive and she will fight and threaten anyone who looks at you for longer than she deems necessary. She is very controlling of you and will demand to know where you are or what you are doing at all times. It became exhausting after a while.

She is a daughter of Ares and therefore is not against using violence to protect her relationship. She had you, someone she loved and cared for with her entire being, and she'll be damned if she let anyone try to take that away from her. You are hers alone and everyone will know that. Clarisse should be the only person in your life that you love and she will make sure of that. Your friends will have to go and your family will have to go. You don't need them while you have her.

You can't leave her. If you tried to break up with her, Gods be good. Clarisse will not allow it and will make absolutely sure that you understand this. Her first warning would be when your little mortal friend was brutally murdered during your summer break and the second would be when you woke up in a dark place and tied up.

You won't leave her, ever. Clarisse will make sure of that. You became hers the moment she started paying attention to you. This is all your fault, she will tell you. If you hadn't attracted her, this would never have happened. But don't worry, she will take great care of you. That's what good girlfriend's do, right?

[gay-dorito-dust]

HII!! CAN U DO A PAVITR PRABHAKAR X READER WHERE THEY SHARE THEIR FIRST KISS (OR READERS FIRST KISS, WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!) AKISISSJSJ IDK WHAT TO REQUEST CAUSE ITS MY FIRST REQUEST LMFAO - 🧑🏽‍🔧

I hope this wasn’t absolute arse as I started like some of this late in the night so there are probs inconsistencies.

‘It’s so obvious that they like each other but due to their assumptions that the other will reject them, they look for the same love in other people, only to be drawn back together because there’s no one who could love them quite like them.’ Pavitr said from your side as you both were indulging in some much needed free time by catching up on episodes of a recent show that you’ve missed. It was a great way to pass the time when nothing else of interest seemed to entice you, plus it was made even better when you got to spend it with Pavitr and his commentary regarding the love interests that you’ve grown to find endearing overtime.

‘We’ve seen this trope happen so many times in the other shows we’ve watched before this.’ You replied, looking over at him, knowing wholeheartedly that you’ve just provoked the preverbal bear, but that didn’t matter as to hear Pavitr speak passionately about something he felt so deeply made you admire him in ways you didn’t know you could.

‘It’s a fail proof formula that wins out every time!’ Pavitr exclaims before sighing dreamily as his mind began to wander amidst his many thoughts, ‘besides who doesn’t want to experience a love like that? a love that your willing to go through trial and tribulation for because you could never truly give your heart to someone else when they had their name carved into the very essence of your being by just smiling, by just being unapologetically them in all their flaws.’ Pavitr stopped midway through his speech to smile softly to himself when imagines of you popped in the forefront of his mind, it made him feel nostalgic and in a way it made him miss your presence despite you being right next to him.

Pavitr was a romantic at heart and so too did he naturally speak from it also, but due to the fact that you were just really good friends made him a little hesitant in pursuing you under the pretences that you didn’t feel the same way that he had for while now. Pavitr knew he couldn’t control his heart the moment it began picking up it’s pace within your presence, only to gradually pick up even more with the slightest things you did that he adored or moved in closer proximity to him to the point he thought he was going to pass out; fortunately for Pavitr he didn’t, sitting on elevated structures was dangerous enough but sitting on elevated structures whilst on the verge of potentially passing out wouldn’t have made for a great combination.

Despite experiencing the universal fear of rejection, it never truly stopped Pavitr from being close to you as humanly possible. After all you’re his best friend first and he’d be damned to let his romantic attachment and his fear create a rift between you two, which is why the now tradition of binge watching dramas was created for it gave him the opportunity to spend time with you; being Spider-man was amazing in and of it’s own but what wasn’t amazing was the fact that he wasn’t given as much time with you as he wanted, Mumbattan needed it’s hero but he, Pavitr Prabhakar, not Spider-Man, needed you more.

‘It’s a love many people desire but don’t have willpower to go through with as it tends to possess the ability to overwhelm them and become suffocating but it shouldn’t be that way when you’re in love.’ He explained and you listened intently to every word that fell from his lips that you’ve been transfixed on for the majority of his speech. ‘Love is an all encompassing force that can make you feel a multitude of emotions but you know when a love is right when they make you feel as though you can do anything, be anything, become anything with unbiased judgment. Real love is accepting that they are human and are bound by mistakes, real love is being the others hero but most of all real love is just two souls growing a deeper affection for humanity’s inner beauty.’ He finished, looking at you with a smile.

‘That was beautiful Pavitr.’ You tell him, ‘I know your a sucker for romance but that was especially impassioned,’ you nudged his arm in an act of playful banter despite hearing the sound of your heart breaking over having lost the boy you liked who wasn’t yours to have feelings for because like he said you could never truly give your heart to someone else when they had their name carved into the very essence of your being. ‘So…who’s the lucky person that’s made your heart sing like a canary?’ You mentally applauded yourself for being able to made it through that entire sentence without cracking from under the inevitable heartbreak you were about to experience.

Pavitr, ever the opportunist, saw the chance to admit his hearts deepest desire, sure the setting could’ve been a little better that what he had in mind but Pavitr was willing to work with whatever he was given to his advantage. So he grabbed ahold of your hands and given them a tight, comforting squeeze as he made sure to keep eye contact with you when he said his next words over the sound of his racing heart; ‘it’s you, you taught me how beautifully terrifying love can be when in the face of rejection but once upon a time you told me that it’s better to have tried then to have never have tried at all.’ You did in fact remember telling him that when he once asked you what he should do if he ever developed a crush and wanted to ask them out, which at the time only slightly stung in comparison to the overwhelmingly excruciating pain of self deprivation along with ever other human emotion attacking your sense.

Despite the verbal confirmation, you still were in a state of doubt and insecurity that it made it hard for you to believe the reality of his words no matter how hard your heart was telling you to. ‘Why me though? I’m not that special.’ Is your response and the way Pavitr’s face seemed to drop only made your fears all the more real, here he was bearing his heart out to you in a way that you could’ve only conjured up in your dreams and yet you still had to find some way to ruin it by doubting his genuine feelings. ‘Not that special?’ Pavitr repeated, his upset becoming more evident but it wasn’t in due to you but more so towards the fact that you didn’t hold yourself to the same standard that he did; which was pretty damn high. ‘Not that special?’ He repeats again, ‘you’re more then special! To me, you’re the reason the stars are hung in the sky, you’re the reason flowers bloom, birds sing in the morning and why I awake with a smile upon my face and fresh breath in my lungs. To me you’re the reason for my happiness, for my hope for the future and for my beating heart that quickens upon seeing you.’

Pavitr then went onto prove this point by pulling one of your hands that he has in his grasp towards his chest where you could feel it’s quickened pace branch your fingertips. ‘See?’ He tells you, keeping your hand against his chest, ‘that’s because of you and you still don’t think you’re special when your everything I could ever think about? I miss you when your not here but miss you even more when you are because we’re not as close as I’d like us to be but that’s not something I wish to put upon you if it’s not what your heart desires.’ He finished and you couldn’t help but start to tear up, from his impassioned speech to his unwavering acceptance to the possibility of you not feeling the same, only further proved to you how much of a beautiful soul Pavitr Prabhakar was and how fucking lucky you were to be able to know him as deeply as you did.

There was so much going off inside your head that the only response that you could come up with was; ‘Just kiss me already.’ And within a matter of seconds Pavitr had both hands cupping your cheeks as he leant in and pressed his lips firmly against yours, which had you both smiling giddily at the warmth spreading throughout your body as your lips continued to press and weave against one another in such sweet tandem; that at some points you almost forgot to pull apart for air but when you did remind yourselves that you had lungs that were in desperate need of oxygen. You didn’t dare stray too far from one another as Pavitr pressed his forehead against yours, eyes stilled closed and a dopey, lovey smile gracing his lips.

‘I don’t think I’ll be able to top your confession speech but I hope something as simple as this is enough because I like you too Pavitr Prabhakar.’ You whispered against his lips, ‘I like you a lot that when you’d talk about your crush it’d hurt but now knowing what I do now, the brief moment of pain I felt pales in comparison to the light, warm, comforting sensations I get when I’m only with you. For it was all worth this very moment.’ You finished before stealing a cheeky peck from his lips; causing him to whine when you pulled back. ‘No, give me a proper kiss.’ You chuckled but obliged to his requested and gave him a proper kiss to the lips, though this time Pavitr’s hands moved to your waist and your hands took to cupping his cheeks and soon you were back to feeling that lighthearted and warmth place.

[loveemagicpeace]

How u think based on your mercury☕️

🤘🏽🔥Mercury in Aires-your thinking is quite impulsive and quick. You make quick decisions. Usually, all things are related to you, which means that your opinion is important to you, and you can be a person who has a strict opinion and also direct. They don't like to go into details, but they like to get to the point. They are not too loud, they usually speak their mind if someone asks them for it. They rarely interfere with others.

🍿☕️Mercury in Taurus- you have your own way of thinking, many times old school. Many times you are stubborn about your opinion and stick to what you think. It's hard for anyone to convince you otherwise. You like to take your time when you say something. You like conversation over food and drink. You like debates, as long as they lead you to some sense.

⚡️Mercury in Gemini -your thinking is quick and unexpected. You change your opinion quickly and many times you don't look at the opinion of others. You are interested in what they think. You like rumours. You are all over the place with your thoughts and like to open new topics. It's hard to figure out what you're thinking because you're not really thinking at all.

🏠🧃Mercury in Cancer-your thinking is very emotional, you perceive many things through emotions and you can be easily hurt by the opinion of someone close to you. Many times, the opinion of your family is important to you, especially your mother. Many times you can look at what she thinks. When you are angry, you can often hurt others with your words. They have a very whiny or more childish voice. But many times it can come across as being moody.

🎠🧁Mercury in Leo-your thinking can often be childish and playful. You don't take what others tell you too seriously. But it's still a part of you when you look at it. Many times it is important to you how people view your hobbies, passion and dating. I also noticed that these people don't like to talk about this topic or expose themselves through it. Many times you can assert your opinion even if you know you are wrong. They have a very loud voice.

📞🛁Mercury in Virgo-your thinking is quite analytical. You analyze and think about things a lot, even though it may not seem like it. You can also have an anxious investigation. You often like to talk about practical things and share them with others. Sometimes you talk about things that only interest you. And a lot of times you don't let people talk or impose their opinion on you. But sometimes you have a hard time accepting an opinion. But you also have a very critical mindset. Their thinking is either down to earth or not so much. Because this is a mutable sign.

⚖️Mercury in Libra-your thinking often depends on others (unless you have different views). You want to serve people somehow and you care about what they think of you. Sometimes these people don't even have their own opinion because because they are so reliant on others. You want to create some peace and balance. You have diplomatic and rational thinking. I think that these people never focus on the person or emotions in a problem, but above all on the surroundings and the entire situation.

🥃Mercury in Scorpio-your thinking is above all intense, deep (you always delve into things and evaluate them from all possible angles). A lot of times you think like the fbi - you investigate all possible things and you want to get to the bottom of the truth. Your thinking is never without meaning or control. You are always in control of what is happening. And everything you say is very well thought out, you usually choose with what words you say something and in what way. Many times your thinking is a secret, which means that people never find out what you are thinking and that they can often judge you as a person who is a secretive. You read other people very well. Also u have very sharp mind.

🍹🎡Mercury in Sagittarius-your thinking is optimistic, positive and fiery. Many times you are a person who has a very intelligent mind. You say things as they are with sincerity and directness. You have very strict opinions. Many times you can open people's minds or help them understand certain things that they don't. You have a very interesting way of speaking and people love to listen to you. Many times they will give you very smart and realistic advice. They always look at the bigger picture.

⏳Mercury in Capricorn-your thinking can often be pessimistic or too realistic. In some cases, even cruel. Many times I notice that people don't like you if you are too conceited or a dreamer. Their thinking is quite serious and strict. They like to stick to rules and a certain outlook. These natives think carefully before taking a step. Many times they talk about work, success or something related to reality. But many times they have a sleepy or calm voice.

🪼Mercury in Aquarius-your thinking may be quite different from others. Many times you have a completely different opinion about something than others have. Many times you are the smart guy and look at things from a logical perspective. In many cases, you can be rebellious. You may often feel that your thinking is too outside the box. These people usually don't even give their opinion that much unless someone asks them for it. They can come forward very quietly. They will rarely say anything unless necessary.

🧝🏽‍♀️Mercury in Pisces-your thinking is rather fanciful and illusory. You are almost never realistic because it seems too down to earth. You can also have a poetic way of speaking. Many times people don't understand what you want to tell them because your thinking is so subconscious and deeper. I also notice that sometimes these people don't know how to choose the right words when they say something and things can turn out differently than they were thinking.

🌊Ig-bekylibra🌊

-Rebekah⭐️☕️

[perfectlyoongi]

SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who asked to get to know you first before starting the relationship. before he even met you, Hoseok knew that the person he was looking for would start to be part of his life with a regularity that he would have to make sure you were the ideal person for him. as such, before you even talked about limits and rules, Hoseok invited you to a simple dinner in the hopes of getting to know something more about you. yes, he had your name and knew where you were working; but Hoseok wanted to know more, something that wasn’t as superficial as your age and where you went to school. he wanted to get to know you: Hoseok wanted to know what you liked to do and all the things that made you happy; Hoseok wanted to know what your dream was as a child and how you still wanted to achieve it; Hoseok wanted to know more about you – he wanted to know what your soul was made of. “thank you for agreeing to go out with me. i hope you understand that i am not the only one to benefit from our date. i also want you to get to know me before accepting me.”

SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who arranged a private driver for you. even though Hoseok liked to take you to places and outings himself, there were times when he was too busy or you simply wanted to go somewhere when he wasn’t in town. as such, to alleviate some of your anxiety about being behind a steering wheel, or the nervousness of chasing buses or taxis, Hoseok hired a driver especially for you. at any time, wherever you were, whenever Hoseok couldn’t reach you, he encouraged you to call your driver, knowing perfectly well that, even though you were far from him, you would be safe in the hands of a person he trusted. “i promise to take you on one of those nighttime car trips you love so much. but now i’m about to go into a meeting and i don’t know when i’ll arrive. call him today. tomorrow you are mine.”

SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who is addicted to kissing your skin. for entire mornings, the two of you enjoyed the first rays of sunlight wrapped in sheets of devotion. behind you, kissing every part of you, Hoseok made a point of lingering in this little ritual of yours. one of his hands always held your waist, caressing skin up skin down, while his tender lips sanctified your skin. little by little, as the seconds called out to you, you let your head gently tilt back, eyes closed, smile on your face. Hoseok always knew how to relax every nerve in your body. your shoulder, tired of carrying all the weight of the world – one, two, three kisses; your neck, tired of accumulating all the stress of living – ooooone, twoooooo, threeeeeee kisses; your jaw, tired of eating your emotions – one,two,three kisses; your lips, tired of forcing so many smiles – one, one, one, one, one, two., three…

SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who likes to shop with you. of course, Hoseok always thought of gifts to offer you as a surprise, just to thank you for the simple fact that you were in his life. but what really cheered Hoseok up, what really put a wide smile on his lips and an intense sparkle in his eyes, was when he saw you walking distractedly through the stores, looking intently at everything but him. he couldn’t explain it, and he would never admit it to you, but seeing you in those big stores, walking through aisles of color and texture always thinking about what you might want, what would catch your attention, made Hoseok dream. during this time, when you didn’t mind going for the most expensive shoes, or paid attention to anyone who might be on your side, you seemed to be a part of Hoseok’s life. yes, you have a special relationship and you are present in each other’s lives almost constantly; but there, in control of yourself, just asking Hoseok for the card to pay made him believe that he was worthy of having a life with someone, with you. “tomorrow and friday are my days off. do you want to go buy some clothes so we can go to dinner on friday? you can choose the restaurant this time. see you tomorrow.”

SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who wants to know everything you wanted when you were little so he could gift it to you. a tree house with a sink that actually works for you to wash the fruit you stole straight from the tree. a trip to that theme park just to ride the attraction you never had the chance to experience. the complete barbie movie collection with a doll-sized wardrobe from each film for you to play with in your big gi ant   e n o r m o u s  dollhouse. eat only ice cream for breakfast, tacos for lunch and pizza for dinner all weekend long. even a trip to a country that wasn’t within driving distance. “how many times do I have to tell you? everything, everything, e ve ry thing! don’t hide anything from me. even if it’s impossible.” when Hoseok asked you for everything, he really meant everything. all your dreams would now be lived and your inner child would heal, hug you, and tell you they are so happy you made it this far – you deserved everything.

SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK who always asks if you’re okay. after a smile, before a tear, during a silence, Hoseok was always thinking about your well-being. already spending so much time with you, he wanted to believe that he already knew you well enough to pick up on all your little mannerisms that you did when you were less excited. but there were still moments when he pondered. was that smile real? your laugh sounded fake, but your joke slid so smoothly from your mouth. no, that look in your eyes, you weren’t okay. right? better to ask and be greeted with a smile than to ignore that side of you and force you to live when you just want to rest. Hoseok’s priority was you. Hoseok’s priority was your well-being. he just wanted to confirm that he was doing a good job. “you arrived earlier than we agreed. did i get the time wrong? what? your face. your eyes – you can’t look at me. what is it? are you okay?”

SUGAR-DADDY!HOSEOK that makes you the only person in his life. what else could Hoseok do? what else could Hoseok say? go, tell him. give him exact instructions on how he should treat and love you. tell him word by word, l e t t e r   by   l e t t e r, everything he has to give you. please just say it, tell him. there was no one else Hoseok wanted to please. there was no one else Hoseok wanted to keep in his life. just you. so, give him the exact ingredients so he can create the perfect recipe for loving you. “it’s no big deal. nothing is ever too much when it’s for you. for you, i’m sure i was capable of draining all the water from the oceans for you to build a sand empire just because you want to. i know i would go to the ends of the world if it made you happy, and i would add more to the world if that was what you wanted. please let me love you.”

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[kanyerealdaughter]

# SOUL REAPER ICHIGO PT . |||

sexual content , both 18, virgin ichigo x reader , unprotected sex , cowgirl , pet names, praise kink , size kink , cum eating , oral (m, receiving) , dom (fem,reader) , sub (ichigo).

NOT PROOFREAD. sorry for any errors

part | here ! <

—————————————————————————

soul reaper ichigo - who was actually listing to the whole conversation and he was leaning against a wall in the hallway, his mind still thinking about you. the sight of you always made his stomach flutter, and his heart beat faster, but it was all overridden by the sadness and heartbreak he felt. he looked miserable.. his eyes spotted you walk out of the classroom, making his heart skip a beat. he began to panic.. unsure if he should come over and make an attempt to talk to you. he wanted to.. he really did.. but he felt so defeated and miserable, he didn’t want to get hurt any more.

“ hey.. can i talk to you for a minute..?” he finally took a breath and gathered the courage to walk up to you. just being this close to you made him feel.. so many things, but he tried to hide them.

you stood there awkwardly for a couple seconds before nodding slowly. he let out a small breath, silently thanking god that you actually answered him. he glanced around for a minute, noticing a couple of people passing by, before grabbing your wrist and gently guiding you into a nearby empty classroom. once in the empty classroom, he let your wrist go, shutting the door behind him before he turned to look at you. he took a breath, trying to find the right words to say.*

“i.. uh.. i need to ask you something.. if that’s alright..?”

“ what is it ichigo…” you let out a sigh after all these days we were finally speaking to each other. he took a small breath, noticing the tone of annoyance in your voice, but he ignored it for now. He leaned his back against the wall, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he looked at you

“ how.. how have you been doing..? after.. y’know- we broke up..”

“ really….? that’s what you wanted to know.. you know what we can have a conversation when you’re actually ready and are not beating around the bush…” you scoffed about to walk away from since you thought we’re gonna have a real discussion.

soul reaper ichigo - who he quickly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back before you could walk away. he wasn’t done yet.. he didn’t want you to leave yet. not again..

“ alright, alright.. fine..” he mumbled, before looking at you, his heart pounding in his chest.

“ fine.! we can please talk about you keeping secrets ichigo..! like you’re always with chad , uryu , ruika and orihime.! did you even ever like me..?!” you said confused trying your best to control your emotions.

he frowned, the sudden realization that you felt left out and like he didn’t like to hit him.. his heart hurt knowing you felt that way.. “ of course i like, love you! y-you’re my girlfriend..”

he stopped, thinking for a moment on whether or not to tell you about him being a soul reaper.. but him and his other friends already knew.

“ we’re not even dating … anymore ichigo..” you mumbled

soul reaper ichigo - who felt a pang in his chest when you mentioned you weren’t even dating anymore.. it was a reality he didn’t like to accept.

“ you’re right… we’re not..” he mumbled in response, his heart feeling heavy as he looked at you.

“ right… so what’s the point of even talking about it if you’re just keeping your secrets from me..”

he let out a small hiss of frustration, his hands clenched into fists, before he closed his eyes for a minute. he couldn’t keep it a secret for longer..

“ alright.. alright fine.. i have a secret.. and you need to promise you won’t freak out when i tell you..” your eyes lit up as he promised to finally tell you the truth.

he took a breath, his heart pounding in his chest. this.. was big. *like my dick-pause*. it could change everything, but he needed you to know..*

“ promise me you can’t freak out when i tell you.. please..” *he repeated, looking at you with a serious yet slightly nervous look in his eyes.*

“ okay.. i-i promise ichigo…”

soul reaper ichigo - who’s nodded slowly, silently praying to the god you’d actually keep your word. he knew how it’d go.. you’d either call him a liar or freak out and leave.. he knew better than to think you’d believe him right off the bat.

“ alright.. just.. trust me on this.. and don’t.. freak out..” he repeated one final time, before taking another deep breath.

“ i’m a soul reaper..”

“ … “

he looked at you for a moment, silently looking for any indication as to how you’d react.. but since you said nothing, he took it as a chance to continue.

” y-you’re not.. saying anything.. which, i’ll admit, is a little scary..” he mumbled, slightly nervous and scared of your possible reaction.

“ a s-soul reaper…?”

he nodded slowly, before taking a breath once more, preparing himself for any questions or any possible outburst.

“ yeah .. a soul reaper. one of the soul society.. y’know- the afterlife?”

soul reaper ichigo - who before he could finish his sentence you immediately pushed your lips against his. all thoughts in his head came to a sudden stop, every bit of worry or anxiety he felt about your reaction gone in the blink of an eye. all he felt was your lips against his and the shock of the sudden kiss, but he slowly but surely began to melt into it, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.

your hands on his face you cupped his jaw as you pushed him down to your height making the kiss even more deeper.

a small, quiet moan escaped his lips as he gave into the heat of the kiss, pulling you even closer so your body was pressed against his own. He could feel his chest fill with a burning heat that he felt only around you, pushing his hands under your shirt and trailing them up your bare back. he’d missed this.. he’d missed you so much..

you also moaned into the kiss your tongue exploding his mouth basically sticking your tongue down his throat.

he couldn’t get enough of you. holding you like this, your tongue against his.. it was absolutely euphoric for him. as his thoughts became more hazy with need and want for you, he pushed you against a wall, his hands running all over your body as he deepened the kiss even more, practically wanting to devour you completely.

your hands let go of jaw and slowly moved down to the hem of his pants.

he froze for a moment as he felt your hand trail down his body, his mind immediately going into a panic on what exactly you were trying to do. He tried his best to keep focused on the kiss, not wanting to lose that feeling, but he could feel his body heating up and could feel himself already getting excited.

you finally pulled away after the hot long steamy kiss but your lips still touching as your hands slid into his pants not knowing he was a virgin.

soul reaper ichigo - who let out a small moan the moment your hand slid into his pants, and his eyes widened slowly as he realized what you were trying to do. he was absolutely embarrassed and extremely flustered, having never done anything like this before.

“w-wait- “

he started to say in protest, the words coming out in a small stutter as he tried to control his own excitement and desire for you.

“ then be quiet for me okay..?” you said quietly as your hands slowly moved into his boxers.

his face was completely red now, and his breathing was erratic and heavy as he nodded slowly, completely at your mercy as he desperately tried to keep any sounds in.

“ y-yeah.. i’ll be.. quiet..” he responded back in a small, embarrassed and slightly shaky voice.

“ s-but be quick about it..”

“ you rushing me…?” you smiled a bit as your warm hands finally touched his dick.

he inhaled sharply and let out a small gasp, his body shuddering slightly from the feeling. he was already at full attention, needy and desperate for you.. but he didn’t care. In that moment, he just wanted you, his heart rate going faster.

“ of course I’m rushing you.. we’ll get found out if you’re too slow..” he mumbled, unable to keep the needy tone out of his voice.

“ mm… i’ll go faster if you beg for it…” you said your lips grazing his ear.

soul reaper ichigo - who was a complete mess now, and that small gesture to his ear had him shivering more, a small gasp leaving his lips as he felt your breath against his ear. he bit his lip as he desperately tried to keep any sounds in, knowing he’d have to beg if he wanted more..

“ please.. please just.. do it faster.. i.. i need you..” he whispered.

your smile grew as you actually heard him begged as you got down your knees in front of him. he could see you get on your knees in front of him, and it was almost too much for him to process. his heart was racing, and he was sure it was hard to keep any sounds in at this point. but he tried his best, trying desperately to keep a small amount of control. he looked down at you, his eyes filled with need and want for you.

“please..”

your hands pulled out of his boxers and to the hem of his pants pulling them down slowly. as they fell to his ankles he felt his face get more red as he felt his pants being pulled down, his heart racing faster as he felt himself getting more excited. he suddenly remembered that he hadn’t told you.. he was still a virgin..

“ w-wait-“ he tried to say, only managing to stutter the one word, his breathing fast and shaky as he looked down at you, trying to figure out how to tell you.

“ what..?” you looked up at him, your fingers about to pull his boxers down as they traced the rim of his boxers. he bit his lip as he felt your fingers tracing the rim of his boxers, struggling to keep any more pleas and moans in, but he needed to tell you..

“ i.. i need to tell you something.. please..” he managed to say, still keeping his voice quiet so no one outside the classroom would overhear you and him.

soul reaper ichigo - who inhaled sharply as he felt his boxers start to be pulled down.. he knew if he waited any longer to say something he’d be too late.

“ i’m.. i’m a..” he started, trailing off as he tried to find the right words to say.

“.. i’m still a.. virgin..” he mumbled, his face practically burning and he looked down at you, hoping you wouldn’t judge him or say anything bad..

“ o-oh..” you froze as you removed your hands from his boxers stopping yourself before this could go any further but you couldn’t lie you felt a rush of excitement when he said that you were gonna be his first.. he froze and held his breath as he watched you remove your hands from his boxers.. he was embarrassed and a little ashamed for not telling you before..

“ is.. is that.. bad?” he asked quietly, the embarrassment clear in his voice as he looked down at you, still feeling the need and desire from a moment ago, but he figured you didn’t want to continue anymore..

“ n-no.! um no it’s not… j-just a surprise..” you said as you cleared your throat from the awkwardness that wasn’t there like a second ago.

he hesitantly nodded in response, still embarrassed but glad to know you didn’t think it was bad. his breathing had started to slow, but he could still feel his excitement and the need for you. he still wanted you, and he didn’t want to stop now..

“can.. can we still continue..?” he asked in a quiet voice, almost sounding like a plea again.

“ a-are you sure you don't want your first time to be special… and um not in a classroom..?” you asked quietly, looking up at him.

he nodded slowly, blushing at the thought of it being special, but he didn’t want to wait anymore.. he wanted you now. he reached down, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up so you were standing in front of him again.

“ i don’t care.. i just need you..” be muttered, his heart still beating fast as he looked down at you, bringing his hands up to your waist to hold you close to him. he was a mess for you, desperate for your touch..

soul reaper ichigo - who let out a small moan against your lips, his hands pulling you in closer and his arms wrapping around your waist as he desperately kissed you back. he was completely lost in you, wanting more and more. he couldn’t get enough of this.. the feeling of your lips against his, your hands on him. he needed you, all of you.

your hands went to the bottom of your shirt pulling it off after your head over shirt landed on the floor just leaving you in your bra.

his eyes widened and he froze for a moment at the sight of you in only your bra, his breath catching in his throat as he looked at you. a small blush crept across his face and his eyes roamed over your body, taking in every last inch of you. his hands went back to gripping your waist, holding you firmly against him as he tried to regain his bearings.

“ you’re.. beautiful..” he finally managed to say, his voice sounding slightly strangled.

your smile grew as your hands went behind your back unclipping your bra as that also fell on the ground showing him your boobs in which you have your nipple pierced

*if you don’t like just ignore just thought it would be cool to add that.*

his eyes grew impossibly wide at the sight of you completely topless, his breath getting caught in his throat again as he looked at you. “ holy sh-“ he immediately cut himself off, unable at that moment to even form a coherent sentence. he could feel himself getting more excited than ever, his mind completely fuzzy and filled with thoughts of you.

“ i.. i didn’t think you’d..” he muttered, his hands still on your waist, gripping a bit tighter.

“ shhh..” you mumbled, pushing him down on one of the chairs in the classroom, reminding him to be quiet since you’re both still in the school.

soul reaper ichigo - who he gasped as he suddenly felt himself get pushed down onto a chair, his head hitting the top part before he sat up more so he could actually look at you. he swallowed, reminding himself that he had to keep quiet as he looked at you, completely at your mercy as he sat in the chair.

“ o-okay.. i’ll be quiet..” he mumbled as he bit his lip, looking up at you.

“ good boy…” you replied back as my fingers pulled down his boxers slowly as they slid down to his ankles along with his pants, feeling yourself get more soaked in your panties as your skirt lifted up as you got down on your knees once again.

he shuddered as he felt his boxers slowly get taken off, his breathing getting heavier and his heart rate increased. he could feel your words go through him again, making him feel even needier and more desperate for more. he looked at you, his mouth slightly open as he struggled to keep any sounds in, almost completely at your mercy.

“ y-yeah.. i’m a good boy..” he managed to stutter out in a low, slightly strained voice. he reached out for you, trying to hold back a small whine, wanting to keep his hands on you his eyes roamed over your body, and he couldn’t look away once he noticed your piercings.

your hands went to his dick as you grip him with your small warm hands he was so much larger than you expected and so so pretty. slender, with a pale shaft that leads into a rosy pink at the tip leaking precum. it curves up and to the right. you brush your thumb over his tip smearing his precum over his tip making his body twitch and his hips thrust up to your touch.

soul reaper ichigo - he inhaled sharply when he felt you grip him, holding back a small moan at the feeling of your warm hands on him. his breathing was already uneven from the feeling, and the touch of your thumb over his tip had him shuddering, his hands subconsciously gripping the chair.

“ f-fuck..” he muttered under his breath, unable to stop the small words from escaping. he felt his entire body overheat at the feeling of your touch.

your hands started to trace the veins that were going up to his rosy pinkish tip as pre cum starts to leak from out of his tip you feel yourself getting even wetting your panties molded of your folds.

he tensed up, his breathing heavy and labored as you traced the veins, his tip leaking precum as you teased him. his head was spinning, and he was struggling to keep any sounds in, biting his lip to hold back moans of pleasure.

“ i-i can’t..” he quietly managed to say, his hands gripping even tighter on the arms of the chair he was sitting on.

you snuck your hand under your skirt as you began to take off your panties coming off your ankles while your head lowered towards his aching dick as you kitten licked his now reddish angry tip licking off the pre cum. “ mm… sweet..”

he gasped and shuddered at the feeling of your tongue, his hands gripping even tighter on the chair, the sound of the wood creaking slightly being heard. he bit down on his lip, trying to contain moans, and it took everything he had just to keep himself somewhat quiet.

“ nnngh.. that feels so.. good..” he managed to say in a quiet, strained voice. you stood up off your knees revealing your naked body. his heart was racing and his mind was completely fuzzy, and he was suddenly confronted with the sight of you being fully naked. he could feel himself getting more excited and desperate as he looked you over, his eyes roaming your body.

“ fuck.. you’re so perfect..” he mumbled quietly, his eyes lingering on your pierced nipples before looking back at your face.

“ are you sure you still want this..?” you asked in a hushed tone after he was still a virgin.. he nodded slowly, his brain already becoming completely muddled from desire and need, but he had to keep control for a moment.

“ i'm sure, i want this.. i want you..” he said, his voice quiet but firm, letting you know he truly wanted to do this.

“ okay…” you mumbled before sitting on his lap your hands grabbed him softly before slowly lining him up with my entrance… fuck you’re soaked. he felt his heart skip a beat as you sat on his lap, his eyes on you the entire time. he could hardly breath, excitement and a small hint of nervousness rushing through him as you lined him up with your entrance. he bit his lip, his hands going to your hips, holding onto you.

“ y-you can… keep going..” he said in a low, quiet voice, his eyes watching you closely, his breath hitching in anticipation as he spoke.*

soul reaper ichigo - who felt his tip go into your warm tight folds making you let out a quiet moan just from the tip stretching you out already you felt yourself getting more aroused damn near becoming dizzy as you slid down your wall clenching around him.

he let out a strangled gasp, biting his lip harshly to try and keep any louder sounds in as he felt himself slowly go into you. he was so sensitive, and the feeling of you around his tip had his head spinning, his body already wanting so much more. his breathing was quick and erratic, his hands grabbing your waist and holding you to him, his body shaking softly as he tried

you continue to slide down his girth making you let out a moan making me clench around him tighter as you sat all the way down his and yours thighs touching as he was so deep in you right now making you breathless you never felt so full.. you looked down noticing the huge bulge in your stomach.

ichigo was at his limit, his breathing and senses completely erratic and overwhelmed by the feeling of you around him. his body was on fire, and every sense was on overload. he looked down and saw the bulge in your stomach, and he thought he might lose his mind at the sight. He was completely in bliss.

you felt one of his hands go to your stomach and put pressure on his large bulge showing through your stomach making you clench harder and your hands went to squeeze his shoulders.

he gasped as he felt your clench around him, and he could barely handle it at that point. he was feeling so much pleasure and so many sensations at once, he was completely at your mercy. he could barely even think straight anymore, but he looked down and felt your hands on his shoulders, and he brought a hand up to the one you had on his shoulder, intertwining his fingers with yours, holding your hand as he pressed his hand against your stomach.

he gasped at the movement of your hips, a small moan escaping him before he could stop it. he held onto your hips and your hand, his head spinning as he felt your motions on him.

“ ah.. y-you feel so good.. mmngh..” he was struggling to keep his voice quiet, and he was sure anyone outside the classroom would’ve likely heard by now, but he didn’t even care at this point.

“ such a good boy…” you coo peppering a few kisses near the crook of his neck whilst your cunt glides on his dick stretching you out even more than you could imagine trying your best not to cum already.

soul reaper ichigo - who he trembled at the feeling of your kisses and your praise, a small moan escaping him once again. he was completely at your mercy, but he didn’t mind at all, in fact he loved it. his body was buzzing with pleasure and his mind was completely fuzzy from it all, he was overwhelmed.

“ f-fuck…” you mumbled you couldn’t even get the words out making you all warm your brain going dizzy as you went even faster you could tell he was close once you felt him twitch deep inside of you. he gasped at the feeling of you picking up the pace, his body getting closer and closer to the edge as he felt himself twitching inside you.

you were caught off guard when ichigo thrust his hips into your cunt making you let out a pornographic moan as it echoed in the classroom making an attempt to smack your ass but he quickly rubbed it softly afterwards. he was completely lost in the pleasure and feeling of you, no longer even trying to contain moans. when he heard your moan echo through the room, he was unable to hold back anymore, and he was already on the edge.

“ n-nngh.. i’m..i’m close..”

“ yeah hmm.. b-be ..fuck- a good boy for me..? and cum inside me..” you whispered as your lips hovered over his ear as you started to peck his neck slowly with kisses.

“ y-yeah.. i’ll be a good boy, i promise..” he nearly growled at your words, the feeling of your lips on his neck and whisper in his ear bringing him closer and closer to the edge. he was quickly losing his mind, and he was ready to give you exactly what you wanted, to be a good boy for you. he was a complete mess under you, and it was nearly sending him over the edge.

“ yes.. good boy..” you breathes out, hearing the brief sounds of squelching your own cunt made going inside of you and suddenly the entire room grows quiet from the sounds of just ichigo's and your soft breaths and your pussy making all kinds of noise because of ichigo's length.

soul reaper ichigo - who he was trembling in pleasure at the sounds coming from you, he was completely at your mercy, and he was nearing the end. it was all so much and he was completely overwhelmed by it, he was almost at his breaking point.

“ i’m.. i’m going to-” he managed to say, his voice strained and breathing heavy, he could barely speak through how.

“ shhh… it’s okay.. baby open your mouth for me…” you hushed him as you begin to suck on his neck. he gasped and shuddered, biting back a moan as he felt your lips on his neck, doing as you told him and opening his mouth, your nipple piercing pressed up against his chest.

he trembled at the feeling of your lips on his neck, the feeling of the nipple piercing against his bare chest as well as hearing you whisper to him. he looked at you and did exactly as you said, he opened his mouth.

you bit your lip before pressing your whole body against his still riding him. you licked your lips before cupping his jaw softly collecting saliva in mouth before spitting into his mouth.

soul reaper ichigo - who he gasped as he felt your body pressed against his, and when you licked your lips he had a flash of a feeling of anticipation, not knowing what you were going to do. when you cupped his jaw and he saw you gathered your saliva in your mouth, he couldn’t look away from you, watching you intently as he waited. when he felt your spit on his tongue, his eyes widened slightly in surprise, but he didn’t complain, and instead swallowed your spit.

you grip his jaw harder as you smashed your lips against his it was such a mess a sloppy kiss you started to grind down on him as he continued to thrust up into your g-spot making you moan into the kiss.

he gasped into the kiss as you kissed him deeper, it was all so messy, but that only added to how overwhelming all this was for him, the amount of pleasure he was feeling and the sensations of your mouth on his, it was all so much. he bucked his hips up into you, hitting your g-spot and continuing to thrust into you, his mind completely fuzzy and blank by this point, he couldn’t even think anymore. he held onto you with one hand on your hip and the other tangled up in your hair.

“ mm..!” you let out a loud moan in the classroom as you continued to suck his neck going down to his apple adam his dick was just driving in and out of you.

he was quickly losing himself to the pleasure, his mind and body completely overwhelmed by all the sensations as he thrusted into you, his breathing getting more heavy and erratic, the feeling of your lips on his neck and your moans and sounds only driving him more crazy. he gripped you tighter, his hands trembling, as if holding onto you was the only thing keeping

you gasp once he prods against your g-spot for probably the uncountable time now. ichigo breathing hitches, and once he cums it's so much as he's pouring such thick creamy ropes of cum into your womb. you slow down a bit, still riding him ichigo dick pulses inside of you.

soul reaper ichigo - who he was still trembling softly from his release, his body and mind completely over sensitized from everything that had happened. he held onto you, his hands still shaking from the overwhelming pleasure. he let out a deep breath, trying to steady his breathing, which was still irregular and erratic.

“ holy..fuck..” he managed to get out, still trying to find his bearings again, and he felt he was still a bit overwhelmed from everything that had just happened.

“ couldn’t wait for me.. huh baby so greedy….” you giggle quietly as you let out of his neck revealing the red sensitive hickeys going past his neck and down to his apple adam’s. he couldn’t help but huff at your words, the feeling of your giggles against his neck sending a shiver down his spine. he could faintly feel the sensitive hickeys and marks on his neck, and he knew that it’d be a while before he’d be able to hide them.

“ well whose fault do you suppose that is?” he teased, a small smirk on his face, his breathing still a bit labored.

“ oh..? is my good boy talking back to me..” you raised your brow as you clench down on him riding him as you unexpectedly came hard my legs shaking from the unexpected orgsam.

he hissed at the unexpected clench from you, gripping you a bit tighter in response. he was still a bit sensitive and the feeling made him shiver a bit, even though he wasn’t expecting you to come so suddenly.

“ i-” he started, but stopped, his head falling back a bit as he felt you clenching around him “ i ..” he tried to speak again but his mind was still fuzzy, and his ability to form words was a bit diminished at that moment.

“ that’s what i thought…” you mumbled tiredly but still having the energy to talk back as you stopped riding him your thighs became sore your legs still shaking.

soul reaper ichigo - who he couldn’t help but let out a small huff at your words again as you stopped and he felt your thighs trembling. he still held you in his lap, both his hands on your hips, and he was still trying to slow down his breathing, but it was taking a moment.

“ well you can’t blame me, you make it too damn hard not to talk back.” he huffed again as he spoke

“ oh yeah what happened to my good boy… hmm.?” you whispered against his ear. he shivered again at the feeling of your whisper against his ear, but he couldn't help but pout a bit at your words, knowing that you were teasing him.

“ well... i think you broke him.” he muttered, still holding onto you, his hands a little tight, as if he didn't want to let you go just yet

you giggle quietly at his words before gasping once he suddenly lifts you up softly, pulling out you and ichigos fluids mixing together leaking down your thighs. his mind and body still in a bit of a hazy state, but he was regaining himself again. he held you for a moment. he leaned against you a bit after he pulled out, still feeling a bit dazed and hazy, his mind still trying to clear and come back to reality, and the feeling of your fluids leaking down your thighs was a bit distracting to him. he was silent for a moment, just holding you and trying to gather his thoughts before he finally spoke up again.

“ mm… that was… that was a hell of a first time..” he breathed out softly, looking down and seeing your combined fluids mixing together on your thighs.

you slid off his lap, getting down on my knees in front of him as he sat in the chair still. his eyes widened a bit when you got off his lap and down onto your knees, he wasn’t sure what you were planning, but he couldn’t deny the slight jolt of excitement he felt as he watched you. he leaned back a bit in the chair, his eyes locked on you.

soul reaper ichigo - who he gasped suddenly as he felt your hand on him, and it quickly turned into a low moan as he felt your tongue on him. the feeling was so intense after everything that had already happened, he couldn’t help it. he placed a hand on your head, gently gripping your hair in one hand.

he let out another moan as you started sucking on the tip, and he could barely hold back a gasp when he felt your tongue swirling around it. he felt you deepthroating him, and he couldn’t hold back suddenly. you felt him let out a hot steamy cum spurt of his making you gag since he didn’t warn me which caught you off guard but you swallowed it anyways. he quickly tried to take his hand off your head, feeling bad that he hadn’t thought to warn you.

“ s-sorry, i-” he began to speak, but he was still a bit overwhelmed and his words came out kind of strangled. he took a moment to steady himself, his breathing still a bit quick, his head spinning a bit as he looked down at you feeling a bit bad for not warning you, his mind all warm and fuzzy, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit entranced by the sight in front of him. he slowly removed his hand from your hair, letting out a soft shuddering breath as he looked at you “ sorry.. i just.. didn’t think to warn you i was gonna…”

you lifted your head up quickly as you gasp for air, licking your lips, tasting his leftover fluids on your lips. you opened your mouth to talk but ended up with a lost voice… just from how big he was fuck you’re gonna need to gargled some salt water..

he watched you nod, noticing your slower movements and the shift in the mood, and he was suddenly all too aware that you weren’t together anymore. the whole situation had him feeling a little guilty, in a way, as a part of him felt as though he was using you, and he didn’t like that feeling. he took a breath, trying to sort through his thoughts and his emotions, but he honestly had no idea what to say

“ ichigo…” you mumbled as your voice cracked of course still sore from deep throating him.

soul reaper ichigo - who he looked down at you again, and when he heard the tone of your voice his breath caught a bit, and he didn’t know if it was because of how rough your voice sounded, or something else. either way he felt bad, knowing exactly what the reason was for it being so rough

“ y-yeah..?” he questioned quietly, almost hesitating to speak, feeling an odd mix of guilt and other, more complex emotions

“ get back together with me..” you said quietly but it didn’t sound like a question, more like a demand.

“ please…” you mumbled, covering your chest that had your nipple pierced since it suddenly got cold as a gust of wind flew over the classroom.

he noticed the sudden chill, and when he saw you try to cover yourself he moved on instinct to reach out and grasp your hands, taking them in his own and gently pulling them away from your chest, holding them up between you.

“ you’re gonna get cold if you do that.” he murmured quietly, not knowing what else to say yet. he couldn’t look away from you, his mind still a tangled mess.

soul reaper ichigo - who he instinctively wrapped his other arm around you as he pulled you onto his lap, his hand cupping your breast keeping you a bit warmer and the feeling of the piercing against his palm sent a shiver down his spine. his mind was still caught between what you had just asked, and everything that’s been happening.

" okay... yeah. yeah, we can... get back together." he mumbles, he sighed when he looked down, his hand was just big enough to cover your entire chest. he couldn’t resist tracing his thumb over your nipple piercing, as he held you close to him, resting his chin on your shoulder

your eyes lit up at his words as you smile slightly. another gust of wind came from the door and it caught both of yours and ichigo's attention when we realized the classroom door was open….

he’d been entirely focused on you, so he hadn’t noticed the door being open until you both turned to look at it. his eyes widened a bit when he saw it, realizing that someone could’ve walked by at any time and seen them… he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, the feeling of worry and guilt flooding through him again, now remembering where they were, and the possibility of someone walking in on them..

he felt the color drain from his face when he saw chad standing there, stunned and obviously shocked by the scene. you felt embarrassed after all this time how long was he standing there…? ichigo couldn’t think of a single word to say at that moment, he just stared, feeling frozen in place as chad stood in the doorway.

soul reaper ichigo - who actually thanks chad for getting you and him back together even after chad walked into the awkward situation.

soul reaper ichigo - who secretly kept you panties that were on the classroom floor and stuffed them into his pockets while you didn’t even notice.

soul reaper ichigo - who’s finally happy that he got his girlfriend back and doesn’t even have to keep secrets anymore…

𖣂 KANYEREALDAUGHTER SPEAKS - i’m so happy to be done with this i’ve been working on this for two days.. almost fell asleep writing this.

like more ..? here’s my masterlist

words - 6.2k

» , ᴀ ᴋᴀɴʏᴇʀᴇᴀʟᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ

copyright ©️. ᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ . «

[chaos-in-deepspace]

L&DS Rafayel: Crab Wars | Drabble - Comedy

Ahahahaha so this is a comedic post. I feel like every day life with Rafayel would have these moments of just "Bro wtf are you doing?" and this encapsulated it perfectly.

Pairing: Rafayel x Reader Warning: None Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Rafayel

There were so many things you had come to accept when it came to Rafayel. He was eccentric and tended to just do whatever he felt like. So, how did he still manage to get you at a loss for words? Absolutely stunned as you stared at the situation right in front of your eyes,

He had invited you over for dinner, and this is what you came to? You looked at your beloved boyfriend standing in the middle of his kitchen. Around him were five living crabs. Their claws were up and snapping as he stood in the center of a circle. He looked at you, then back at the crab directly before him.

"Okay, what the ever-loving fuck is happening, Raf?" You finally managed to say. You pinched the bridge of your nose and crossed your arms over your chest. You honestly didn't know what to do with this man anymore.

Rafayel seemed almost sheepish, but he had gained control of his emotions and schooled them to appear nonchalant about the ordeal. "Well, I wanted to let them walk around a bit before I cooked then," he said, already a bad start to this story. And then they just surrounded me…I think they assume I'm their king."

You gave him the most deadpan stare you could muster, smacking your lips together, "Okay…so why are their claws unhooked?" you asked next. You knew damn well at the seafood market; they had tied the crab's claws so they didn't get any funny ideas before they died.

"It felt too constricting for them," Rafayel said, "And as their leader, I needed to do what was right by my people,"

"Are you sure they chose you as their king?" you finally asked, "It looks more like you're going to be sacrificed," Rafayel's eyes widened. He placed a hand over his heart and gave you the most offended look he could muster.

"They would never," he gasped, now pouting with his lip jutting out. You looked down at the crabs and then back at him. Why were you even having this conversation in the first place? This was…was it too late to call a pizza place?

"Can you just…put them back in the pot and cook them, Raf?" you huffed. Rafayel looked away from you as he cleared his throat.

"So that's the issue," he said, "I don't wanna grab them. I tried before you arrived, and one snapped at me, and I don't know what to do now," oh so he was being held hostage by a bunch of crabs that should've been their damn dinner. "Can you help me out?" he said, doing his best puppy dog eyes for you.

You blinked slowly before sighing. You reach down to your thigh holster and pull out your gun, taking aim at the one directly in front of where Rafayel is standing. Before you could pull the trigger, you heard Rafayel screaming at you to stop, calling your name multiple times in a panic.

"Can you not?!" he shouted again, "You can't shoot them!" he said and looked at you like you were the crazy one here.

"It would solve the issue, wouldn't it?" You asked, "You were the one begging me for assistance, I came up with a solution, and now you're backing down," you huffed in annoyance, "Such beta bitch behavior,"

Rafayel was stunned to silence, but that only stopped him for a moment, "Did you call me a beta bitch?" he finally muttered, and you smirked.

"Uh ya? Now we either do this my way, or I'm going to chill in the living room and order pizza while you figure…" you motioned towards the floor, "This out."

"Call Thomas?" he finally asked, and you thought for a moment…why hadn't you considered doing that. You pulled out your phone and dialed the man's number, letting it ring a few times before he finally picked up. 

You heard him calling your name in a confused tone: "Hey, is there anything I can help you with?" He was always the professional one, it would seem.

"Thomas, we need help at the studio ASAP." you began, "And yes, this is an actual emergency this time," you didn't even let him reply as you got your phone and took a photo of the situation. "I'm sending over the situation,"

Thomas was silent as he checked out the image, and then suddenly, you heard a loud sigh and a click as he hung up. You paused and looked at the phone, then back over to Rafayel, "Well…looks like you're on your own, bye babes," you turned around and began your journey toward the living room.

You heard Rafayel shouting your name a few times, trying to get you to come back. He could figure it out. He got himself into this mess, and he can get himself out. You, however, would not be risking getting pinched by a crab today.

Imma be frfr I ain't touching live crabs. No freaking way. I am baby.

[yesbutmakeitgay]

Pain Is Just A Simple Compromise

Carol Danvers x Reader

We’ve Loved A Thousand Lives

Part 1

Summary: Unconnected oneshots exploring your relationship with Carol amongst many universes. Same beginning, different story every time.

A/N: First installment of a new collection I've been working on. Every part is individual and can be read in any order. Content warnings will be noted in each part.

Angst with a happy ending.

Word count: 1.9k

Masterlist | This collection | AO3

Captain Marvel enters her ship after another successful mission wanting for nothing more than to relax and rest while reaching her next destination, that is until she senses someone else’s presence in her space home.

She walks slowly, pointing one of her lit up fists in a general forward direction, "I know you’re in here, who are you? Who sent you?" she warns the intruder.

A human silhouette appears in her line of vision, it’s arms up in surrender. She continues to walk towards it until she can make out the person’s face.

"It’s just me," you announce, hoping that’s enough to deter her threatening state.

Carol sighs in annoyance and puts her fist down, you do the same with your arms, "How did you get in?" she questions in a harsh tone.

"Kamala…" you hesitate, unsure if you need to elaborate on your answer, her eye roll and cursing under her breath tells you, you don’t.

"What do you want?" she follows, clearly angry.

You try to keep your voice as neutral as possible, "I wanted to talk."

"Now’s not a good time."

"It’s never a good time, is it?"

"Make it quick, I have somewhere to be." Carol is growing more impatient by the second.

"Oh, good, I was just on my way to wherever it is you’re going." You sit down on the couch making sure to exaggerate your motion, so The Captain knows you’re not leaving anytime soon.

Accepting her defeat, Carol walks to the control panel of her ship to set the coordinates for her next mission, "I’m gonna take a shower, you make yourself at home," she grumbles, still annoyed.

When Carol comes out she searches for you on the couch, but doesn’t find you there, instead, she walks towards the noise coming from the kitchen.

"I made your favorite," you bargain, in hopes that a warm, home cooked meal will make The Captain a little more amicable.

"Thanks," she responds dryly, but you don’t miss the way her eyes light up when she sees the dish.

You both sit at the table and eat in silence. When you’re done, Carol attempts to get up and clear the plates, but you stop her with a hand on her shoulder, "I got it." You feel how her entire body stiffens under your touch, so you let go immediately.

You do all the dishes and tidy up the small mess you made, along with the bigger mess that was already there before you arrived.

Carol leans on the counter, her features slightly softer than when she first saw you, "So…?" she asks expectantly, when she receives no answer, she presses harder, "I thought you wanted to talk."

You stand still in front of her, your heart pounding in your chest, "I figured when we got to this point I would know what to say," you begin slowly, "I’m sorry for the way we left things off."

She lets out a humorless chuckle, "You’re sorry?" she mocks, "you show up to my home after 4 months and all you can say is you’re sorry?" Her voice gets louder, not holding any of her emotions back. "I looked for you everywhere, I called everyone I know! Have you any idea how worried I was about you?" Tears are now streaming down her face.

"I didn’t know what else to do, I didn’t have a choice," you plead, trying to maintain your composure.

"You are unbelievable!" she yells back, "No goodbyes, not even a note? You could have said something!"

"No, I couldn’t," It comes out as a whisper, "I tried, but you wouldn’t listen," she scoffs, "you weren’t eating, you weren’t sleeping, you barely acknowledged my presence. You were working yourself to death." She takes a few steps away, her head down and her back facing you, "Carol-"

"Don’t," she hisses, her voice is laced with poison. She turns back to look you in the eye, "Leaving on the day of our anniversary sounds like a very conscious choice to me."

There is silence for a moment, the air so tense it feels like hours.

"I didn’t leave on our anniversary," you pronounce every syllable carefully, she frowns with a mixture of anger and disbelief, "I left three days before that, I couldn’t bare the thought of spending it alone, so I left."

Carol sits on the couch, her face full of confusion, you can almost hear the millions of thoughts going through her head, "It took me three days to notice you were gone?" she whispers, a loud sob escaping her.

You take a cautious step towards her, "I couldn’t help you, but I could make you realize that you needed help, I’m so sorry, angel," you tell her softly, no longer able to hold back your own tears. She nods shakily, barely registering your words.

After some time you collect yourself again, "It’s getting late, you should get some rest, I’ll take the spare room." She nods again and goes to her bedroom wiping her tears away.

You stand still until she closes the door and take a deep breath. A familiar feeling of fur helps you settle your emotions, "I missed you too, Goose."

When you wake up, Carol is already gone to her mission. You decide to make yourself useful and clean the place up for her.

The Captain returns to her ship, she takes her boots off and pulls her suit down to her waist. You walk out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel covering your lower half, unaware that she was back already. When Carol sees you she instantly turns around mumbling some apology, you rush to cover yourself, "I didn’t think you’d be back so soon."

"It’s okay," she quickly reassures.

You run to the spare room to put on some clothes you borrowed. When you come out Carol notices her sweater on you, but makes no comment about it.

She walks into her bedroom to find a change for herself, "Did you wash my sheets?" she asks plainly.

"I did, they were getting a bit musky."

"Thanks," she mumbles, somewhat ashamed of the state of her home, you simply nod in response.

Later that evening you sit at the table again to have dinner together. You try to make small talk and she attempts to humor you, but the interaction is awkward, as if you had never spoken to each other before. You are close to giving up when you notice a red stain on her t-shirt.

"What’s that on your shoulder?" you worry.

"Huh?" Carol looks at where you’re pointing.

"Did you injure yourself?"

"I don’t think so."

"Let me have a look," you insist, already getting up from your seat. You pull up a chair beside her and lift the sleeve off her shoulder. Right underneath the stain you find a prominent cut, still bleeding.

"It’s a nasty one, let me clean it up for you."

"You don’t have to do that," she’s quick to respond.

"Do you not want me to?" you challenge her.

She stares at you for a moment, "Fine."

She’s hesitant at first, but as you get to work on patching her up she relaxes into the familiarity of your touch.

"All done," you chirp with a satisfied smile when you’re done.

You look up from her shoulder, your faces impossibly close and before thinking twice she leans in to kiss you. Once she realizes what she’s done she pulls away, "I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that."

You linger for a bit, "It’s okay," you whisper into her ear before walking away to store the first aid kit.

A few days go by and you fall into a routine, one far from the perfect harmony you used to have before, but it's a good start. Carol goes from planet to planet completing her various missions and you stay on the ship making sure it remains in livable conditions.

"Incoming call from Earth," the spaceship announces, you’re in Carol's room tidying up and decide to take the call there.

"Hello?" you yell out, waiting for the image to load. A smiling Kamala greets you from her home, "Hi, baby, what's up?" she blushes at the pet name.

"Hey! Just checking in, it's been a minute."

"How sweet and pure of you to worry about me without any ulterior motive," you tease her, fully aware of her intentions.

Unable to keep it together, she drops the act, "Have you talked to her? Did guys make up? Tell me everything!"

You chuckle at the girl's antics, "Um, yes and no," Kamala looks at you attentive, "we talked, but I wouldn't say we made up."

"What? Why? What did she say?" The girl can't help herself.

"It's complicated, a lot has happened," you pause, "she did kiss me briefly, but I haven't dared to bring it up again."

Kamala's eyes light up, "She kissed you?" she repeats with the biggest smile on her face.

"Yes, it was nice." All of your confidence is suddenly gone.

You continue talking and catching up together.

When Carol gets back on the ship she finds it is suspiciously quiet. She calls out for you, but receives no answer, prompting her to search for you all over her home, unsuccessfully.

The worst thoughts start running through her mind, she rushes to her room for a communication device and finds you sound asleep on her bed. She lets out a relieved sigh trying to be annoyed at the sight, but coming up empty.

She pulls the covers over you and goes to lay down on the other side of the bed. You instinctively cuddle into her, still in your unconscious state, and she can't even try to deny you, she holds you closer and places a kiss on your forehead.

The next morning you wake up before Carol, it takes you a moment to realize you're in bed together and she has her arms around you. A part of you wants to stay and enjoy the moment, but you decide against it, not remembering how you got in that position in the first place.

You carefully get up and make your way to the kitchen to get started on breakfast.

Right as Carol's alarm goes off, you use the laser to get Goose to make coffee the way your Captain likes it.

"Morning," you greet her when she comes out.

"Morning!" she responds in a livelier tone than usual.

You sit to eat together expecting to have another awkwardly silent meal.

"So, where have you been?" she requests after a while, "I really looked for you everywhere."

"I asked The King to keep a secret," you respond coyly, taking your time to make eye contact.

"Val?" she exclaims with her mouth full.

You smile proudly, "Mhmm."

"But I went to New Asgard, I was in New Asgard!"

"Oh, I know."

Her voice turns small, "I went to get help."

"And some help you got," you smirk.

"Watch your tone," your Captain warns, but you know she doesn’t mean it.

There is a calmness and a sense of comfort that you haven’t felt in a long time, "I’m glad you’re doing better." There is nothing but sincerity in your voice.

"Me too."

Goose hops on the table and drops something from her mouth, you both watch her hop off and direct your attention to the small object.

"Is that your ring?" Carol gasps.

"I didn’t know where I was going, I wanted to make sure it was safe," you put the ring on your finger, where it belongs, "I always knew I was coming back."

Let me know what you think :)

@unicorniusfallapatorius @cordeliasdarling

[sunisglowing]

Full Moon in Ardra Nakshatra ✧

(sidereal gemini)

WHAT HAS TRANSFORMED IN YOUR LIFE? .・゜゜・

✿paid readings available after Jan 23rd, 2024✿

PILE 1

What has changed in your life is that you listen to your inner voice now, unlike the past. You hear what your gut and your intuition says and you go with it. You listen to your body now and have gained trust with yourself. Your inner world has become rich I see.

Apart from that, I see that speak your mind now or have become better at it as compared to the past. I do also see that you might have rather become a little impulsive.

I also see that you have become indulgent too. You have been getting praise in work and your career has been growing pretty well. It might also be that you gained a lot of following in any social media. That praise and attention is hyping you up.

But do remember to be balanced. Don't let success and attention get into your head and make you delusional. Enjoy the efforts of your actions while being humble at the same time.

You might have been getting new opportunities that you waited for a long time, so don't make impulsive moves about it. Although I see you getting in that energy. It feels good too.

I am saying all this because with huge success comes great responsibility and accountability. Don't say things in a way that hurts others and still have humbleness while you speak to others.

Also, don't show off. It may fire back and show your excitement and success to trusted ones only.

PILE 2

For you guys, I see you have entered a new phase in your life, or just have or will be starting something new. What has transformed is that you have taken the lead and control of your life. I see you become independent.

Maybe in the past you used to be pretty dissatisfied and depressed about how life was going on for you. I see that you realized the parts of you that were keeping you limited.

Maybe it was indecision or that you were felt bound to or controlled by others in your life.

It could be peer pressure or family. And more of your mind and limiting beliefs about yourself. You were hearing too many opinions that you lost yourself in it

You are also allowing love to come into your life. I see that you might have started dating or there's people interested in approaching you.

You might have been pretty protective about yourself and emotions. But I do see you are becoming mature. You know what to take into heart. You understand now that if someone hurts you, it's their bad, you are still open to receiving love.

And I also don't see you bored. Whether it's family, career, or relationships, you are taking the stand and lead.

You have realized that you can take control, you are not bound or stuck.

PILE 3

I think regarding your relationships, you weren't very clear about your needs and emotions in the past. There was just confusion and things were pretty boring and not that satisfying to you.

It could also be that you had a hard time deciding on which partner is the right one for you.

Some of you might also have felt detached and uninterested in dating in general. Or you just fantasized or daydreamed about relationships in general but never got in one. Maybe because you thought it took a lot of your energy and work.

What I'm seeing now is that you became more honest with yourself and came accepting reality. You came in terms of your wishful thinking and imagination.

Previously you didn't wanna commit in any serious relationship but now you are having more faith in the universe.

You are more critical and realistic now in matters of love than before. You have more clarity in your head about what you want in relationships.

Also you are better or (courageous) at communicating. I do see you being in a relationship and if you aren't right now, you will be finding someone you'll love a lot.

PILE 4

I think for Pile 4, most of you guys have left your family or someone you considered very close and moved somewhere far away from them. I think what has transformed is that you have freedom in your hands.

If not family, it could be the company you work for because of the environment. I see that a lot of you come from financial well off families and you have had become dependant on them.

Many of you could have had families that didn't allow you to be financially independent and free and controlled you a lot with that aspect.

Now you are choosing to go and be financially independent. You might have successfully gotten out of that situation.

I see a lot of you starting something new, a business of your own. You might have been earning from your creative pursuits and earning from that has helped you be free.

I also see you traveling around now and you will make a big move soon. Many of you might be getting skilled, taking up education abroad to improve your career.

You will be experiencing a lot more that you didn't experience before, new cultures and meeting new people.

You have ended in the phase of being controlled by other people and now you are out of that phase. You will be enjoying that freedom.

You have left and burned the past for the good and moved on. Not letting the past challenges dictate how your life goes.

[jackdaniel69nice]

Do you think you can do a deep on Tokoyami’s character? I don’t see a lot of depth in to his personality due to him being mostly off screen. I wanted to know if you could headcanon his flaws and his strengths as a character! I really enjoy your input! Thank you for your time 😄.

Wow this is gonna be a lot haha I’ve never really tried to make write all this down in one go before but let’s give it a shot.

Secretive/Mysterious

On the surface tokoyami is a chunibyo goth kid with a penchant for dramatic speech, this is all true of course and what you see is exactly what you get, but there is also a hidden secretive side we do not get to see. Each little comment and interaction can reveal small details about his true personality that is hiding underneath.

Tokoyami obviously has a mysterious persona that is maintained by the fact we know little to nothing about his past or motivations for becoming a hero. It can be inferred that he tends to keep people at arms length. During the summer camp we saw what happens when he becomes enraged and loses control. He thinks he is dangerous and has a fear of getting close to people who will only be hurt because of him. It’s also heavily implied that he has hurt or even killed someone before in one of these rampages. That sort of trauma can be paramount to one’s character and influences their thoughts and behavior in many aspects.

The sports festival is when Tokoyami’s character really gets to shine. Here is where we learn about dark shadows weakness to light and their increased strength in the dark. There is already something impressive about him being able to keep that a secret for several months. I don’t think we even saw dark shadows face until the sports festival arc meaning tokoyami was probably keeping to the shadows and scoping out the class’ reactions before revealing dark shadows true nature. He is naturally skeptical of trusting others but also cunning to keep secrets to get an edge during training. This can be a sign someone has broken his trust before and he might have developed a complex that people will betray him. Of course he is willing to break this rule when it is pertinent like how he willingly told koda and Midoriya about his weakness when it was important to their teamwork.

He is also very closed off and private like how he didn’t want anyone to see his room. This can be because he is shy and it’s likely a result of being teased because of his interest in the dark ways. Despite his reclusive personality he isn’t actually off putting, he is actually very agreeable and gets along well with everyone and has been described as having maxed out communication stats. I think his ability to work well with others, even difficult and aggressive people, comes from learning to cooperate with dark shadow. He has always had to compromise to make them both happy and is willing to concede some things to get better results.

Disciplined

Tokoyami has been described on several occasions to have strong self-control. This is obviously due to his fear of losing control of his emotions and causing dark shadow to go on a rampage. I would think he was raised with strict rules and had to maintain a “perfect” persona. Suppressed emotions are unfortunately the source of his issues because they have to get out eventually and usually all at once. He didn’t have a safe space to express himself until he came to UA and that’s why he is suddenly making so much progress and developed Ragnarok so quickly.

He also seems to have a competitive spirit. He will join in on competitions and accepted kuroiros challenge. This could also be a result of how it was push for him to be perfect. While it means he’s determined and willing to put effort and practice into winning, unfortunately it also gives him a complex about failure. When faced with a task he thinks he will lose he will often give up like how he surrendered to bakugo at the sports festival. It takes him a while to get over a defeat and realize it’s not the end of the world (so dramatic). This can also be a sort of survival instinct, if you loose a fight in real life you will likely die, so he needs to win every time because he sees it as life or death.

Logical

One of Tokoyami’s strongest traits is that he’s a logical thinker. He doesn’t let his emotions influence his decisions and will do what’s best in the moment even at his own discomfort or sacrifice. Even during a crisis he thinks calmly and rationally to figure out the next move. He omits his true feelings to make teamwork easier and even will lie to avoid a negative situation. Obviously he is able to avoid conflict through logical deception but it’s at the sacrifice of his emotions. He is incredibly repressed and will go to far out of his comfort zone which could lead to a breakdown. Even when he is upset he won’t tell anyone due to this nonconfrontational nature and fear of upsetting them.

Another aspect of his cooperativeness is that he’s a very good listener. He is full of wisdom beyond his years and can come up with solutions to his friends problems. This is applicable to training because he will prioritize a team win over his own success. Unfortunately it also means he tends to stick to the shadows and follows other people’s lead to allow them the spotlight. He needs to stop acting as support and use his strength to the fullest.

Protective

Tokoyami’s motivations for becoming a hero are unknown but what we do know is that he is fiercely protective of his friends. There is no direct explanation for tokoyami to be so protective of his friends other than the fact that he is probably quite lonely and becomes easily attached to someone like his relationship with hawks. He will value other people’s life more than his own due to his insecurity and self hatred and belief that he is not good enough for them, like he has to prove himself. There is also the fact he could have developed a protective bond with dark shadow. Tokoyami had to become mature and calm very young to help take care of shadow’s needs. This is something like how the oldest sibling is expected to help take care of younger siblings. Tokoyami takes care of shadow and protects them from the light (Of course dark shadow also protects tokoyami and is even more protective than him). In the end though there really doesn’t have to be a reason for him to be a protective person, it’s just one result of someone who is completely selfless. Selflessness it’s-self isn’t to bad but tokoyami will actively throw himself into dangerous situations that could kill him like trying to save hawks from dabi. There is also the problem that this protectiveness makes him angry when someone does get hurt and led him to lose control in the forest with shoji.

[penncilkid]

Alright, I'll bite. (Sparked by this post) I'm gonna preface this with some context: 

First off: I'm Black in case you're unaware

Huxley is my favorite speaker. Full stop. You ask me to choose, it’ll always be him. 

Likewise, you ask for my favorite listeners, I will say Starlight and Darlin'. (I'll save my Starlight rant for another day)

My designs for both Huxley and Darlin are Black.

With this in mind, I want to be clear from the jump: I don’t have an inherent problem with these headcanons. If I did, I wouldn’t have chosen then myself. That said, I have noticed that Hux and Darlin are, more often than not, the characters that get headcanoned as POC (specifically Black) in design rosters. In some cases, they are the only POC designs present. Why is that?

Furthermore, the more often I notice this pattern so to speak, the more I sit and think about why those headcanons are so popular. I find my answer when I think about the characters I see headcanoned as white most often. Tell me why it’s "practically canon" for Lasko to be pale with light/white hair. Tell me why white Sam "just makes sense". Why? Because Lasko's a nerdy ball of nerves that stumbles over his words? Because Sam’s a sweet Southern man at heart? Those are not inherently white attributes.

Except they're treated as such. They go virtually unchallenged because they're so widely accepted by fandom. People see these personalities and character details and come up with their vision. So, let's apply that to Huxley and Darlin, shall we?

Huxley: Athlete. Canonically implied to be big, as indicated by statements made by him and other members of the DAMN crew. Classified as a himbo with parallels in Imperium highlighting how some will view him as stupid. Overall chill vibe.

Darlin: Reckless with their safety. Known to lash out/lose control of their emotions when they’re not actively hiding them. Gets injured often because they’re too stubborn to run from trouble. An overall intense demeanor that makes them difficult to approach (at least at first). 

Explain to me why this screams Black to so many people. Is it because Huxley's a dumb jock who you imagine gets stoned all the time? Oh, is it perhaps because Darlin is just so aggressive compared to your Golden Retriever-coded Asher, needing to be calmed down by everyone around them? And here's the thing: I can already imagine people saying, "That's not why I made them Black". Then explain why it "just makes sense" for them to Black. Why them out of a sea of characters? Make it make sense.

Now let me make this clear as well: I'm not expecting every headcanon to have elaborate thought behind it. For one, I get that some people take a more casual approach with designs and such. Not every choice has to have a reason or justification behind it. But when literally 95% of the Huxley designs I see are Black and half of y'all don't even know what a fucking durag is? Saying it leaves a bad taste in my mouth is putting it lightly.

You know what I wish I saw more of? Black Huxleys and Darlins with attached nuance.

Give me a Black Darlin who struggles to articulate how they feel with the people in their lives because they haven't been readily given the language to do so. You want to pair a Black Darlin with a White Sam? Why not talk about how POC have an insanely difficult time getting support from the medical system so not only does it explain why Darlin is so resistant to go to healers, but also gives an extra weight to the fact that Sam was their absolute last resort when injured? Give me a Black Darlin who has been taught their entire life that no one will have their back, that they need to learn how to depend on themself alone, and that's the reason why they struggle to feel like the pack would've cared when the Quinn shit went on.

You wanna talk Black Huxleys? Let's touch on how he's learned to control his emotions/anger because he knows how people will take it if it comes from someone who looks like him. Talk about how his moms teaching him not to use violence speaks to a deeper desire for him not to be viewed as a threat because they fear for his life otherwise. In one of his BAs, he mentions how a lot of people used to sleep with him/flirt with him solely because of his body and he could tell. Do you know how often black men are sexualized and fetishized? Why not talk about it through him? I see people explore that concept through Gavin constantly, where's the energy for Huxley? You wanna make him Black so bad, why not actually put some thought behind it? Because right now, it seems like he gets the "luxury" of being the token Black guy in the DAMN friend group at best.

I know a lot of people are probably going to dismiss this post. I am already anticipating that as I write this. But I'm so tired of pretending like this shit doesn't get to me. Because it does. I've got no intentions of leaving this fandom because I have met so many amazing people and adore Erik's content immensely. But what I am going to do is talk about the widespread normalization of attributing certain personality traits to certain racial groups. Because the non-white people in this fandom deserve better than that.

[whoreofabaddon]

I apologize somewhat insincerely for the pause in my regular posting, but I'm about to talk in depth about some of the power dynamics we see at play in IwtV.

Particularly, something that has been weighing on my mind is this post by @platoapproved in which we see Louis lightly stroking the bruises of Armand's trauma. Despite the fact the OP caught those hints so amazingly, the reblogs turn into an absolute cesspool in which there are many baffling accusations. So I wanted to touch on this from the perspective of someone who has both been in multiple D/s relationships (albeit as a lesbian and not a gay man) and is also a psychotherapist so trained in trauma responses.

The first thing I wanted to say is that we’re never given any reason to believe Louis is anything but a compassionate and skilled dominant partner. There are no moments portrayed between them where he oversteps any of Armand’s boundaries or where he uses their dynamic for manipulative purposes. We’re actually shown the opposite of that in the scenes where their power exchange come into play. He soothes Armand’s trepidation around setting boundaries and doesn’t force him to witness a new vampire being made. The one time we see Louis truly push Armand to accept a command is when he’s preventing him from killing Daniel, and even then, he validates that he’s hurt Armand enough to understand why he wants to. 

Similarly, we’re actually never shown Armand pushing Louis to take part in that dynamic when he doesn’t want to like so many keep claiming. I suspect that it was actually thrilling for Louis to meet a vampire older and more powerful than his maker, only to find that vampire would willingly allow him to have the control and authority between them. After having spent years in an abusive relationship, it must have seemed to be a gesture of great love to be shown such deference after Lestat had treated him so cruelly and disrespectfully. 

If anything it’s likely healing due to the change in the pattern. And that, I think, is also what is happening when we see Louis begin to draw from Armand’s history of trauma and introduce that into their dynamic. I fully believe he is playing with this dangerous subject because it is something Armand has never finished processing; he's such a trusted figure in Armand's life that it is safe for them to do this together. Armand's not been able to complete the loop of thoughts surrounding his abusive childhood, and so his mind is going to replay it over and over and seek out ways to ‘master’ it. That means his brain has to be convinced that he’s ‘solved’ the issue and the risk is abated. So he is going to keep returning to it or desperately avoiding it, and Armand’s patterns lean towards pursuing the subject matter over and over. The fact that it is Louis drawing on the memories means he knows he’s able to have the freedom of changing the ending; he goes ‘to coffin’ with his maitre at the end, he’s not truly given away for someone else’s sexual pleasure, and the fear and humiliation is touched on but ends before it can get worse. This time the offer is declined, this time he can reply snappily ("I wouldn't let you near my neck..."), and this time he doesn’t have the horrible emotional push-pull of ‘how dare you do as I tell you’ which Marius tended to use against him. (I also think Louis is referencing Armand’s blood being addictive to Daniel in the books, but that’s another layer to explore at a later time).

So I’ll say that, unlike some commenters, I don’t think it’s ‘ugly’ that Louis is mirroring aspects of Marius’ behaviors. Instead, I think the vulnerability and trust that it would require for them to successfully do this shows something very beautiful about the way they relate to each other.  

(Mandatory disclaimer that I am not suggesting that everyone ought to drop out of therapy and process their trauma using an untrained partner and kink. There is a high chance that you can trigger your partner. I am simply illustrating the psychology and perceived intentions at play and why this could feel satisfying to the characters).  And tagging @thequeenofsastiel for the promised meta.

[alcestas-sloboda]

I see so many reflections today from different people: someone woke up from the explosions, some from a phone call, some woke up and saw hundreds of notifications from different telegram channels. It is still so unimaginably bizarre. I have no ability to put into words the feeling of your world falling apart and we didn’t even understand half of the danger that was surrounding us. We were so damn close to disaster with half of Europe believing that nothing good will come out of it.

Ukrainians didn’t care what Europeans thought though, I personally saw news pieces about "Russia will take control of Kyiv" a lot later, somewhere in May, when Ukrainian military took control over the north of the country. And I’m so eternally grateful to every Ukrainian who made sure that all this "experts" sat in those flashy studios red from guilt. I’m grateful for my life, I’m grateful for our Ukraine. She persist. She is still the love of our lives. She’s hurt and devastated but she lives despite all the attempts to destroy her. Same as us. Somehow still here.

Yet I feel more detached from the western world than ever and I’m so fucking jealous of you all. It’s not even about the rockets or shakheds - somewhere along the lines you accept the fact that you may die in any moment - it’s about normal things like your Twitter feed that doesn’t look like a necrology, military terms that don’t make any sense to you, your city that doesn’t stop everyday to mourn the dead, you don’t feel guilty for trying to live a normal life while your classmate, who wanted to be a director, posts stories from the trenches. All of that and more. I’m not even entitled to my emotions because there always will be someone who says that my country is not suffering enough. I no longer react to comments like this as emotionally as I’ve done before but it is still so bizarre to see stuff like that from people whose countries have always been the one to inflict suffering on others.

I may sound mean or sarcastic or whatever but there is so much negativity inside of us that was put there by people like I’ve mentioned above that it is going to be released from time to time. "Your country shouldn’t exist", "Only 9 thousand killed", "You all are nazis/racist/zionists/any of the -ist terms" - yet you should always react in a constructive way because the moment you let your emotions go, you are the worst person on the planet. But who am I kidding, some people here do believe that we are. There is a thousand bad people with sketchy patches in a 40-million country and suddenly "That’s why I no longer support Ukraine". Well, honey, that means you never did. Because Syrian flags were quickly replaced with Ukrainian ones and just as quickly with Palestinian. It’s not about the "Support the oppressed", it’s "Anything to not feel guilty" because then you’ll find the reason to hate Palestinians, just as you did with us. If only you cared about the problematic shit happening in you country as much as you care about our political and social life.

But there are people who still are there for us. Countries that are still here. We may not say it as often but we are thankful. So very thankful for everything you’ve done and are doing for us. Thank you for hearing us and uplifting our voices.

Recently one of the most beautiful people here have lost her life defending me and you. She was always in my notes, always making sure that we didn’t feel uncomfortable even if she of all the people had all the right to be upfront about her thoughts and feelings. I don’t think I will ever get rid of the feeling of guilt. She was there while I wasn’t. She said to mourn her through anger. Anger towards the oppressor. Anger that should be directed into something useful: donations, sharing info, contacting your MPs and so on.

The soldier‘s death is not something out of ordinary during the war, it’s not considered a war crime but what if half of the army are civilians? Volunteers who left their homes to protect them. What if the soldier was a teacher, a poet, an actor, an IT-specialist, a scientist, what then? Isn’t it a tragedy? My country is loosing yet another generation of beautiful talented people and it makes my view of the future even darker.

But what can I say? I’m still here. My country still stands. Ukrainian air defence is doing everything possible and impossible to protect the lives of the civilians. Ukrainian military is still the only thing keeping us all alive. Heroes, titans, gods. Glory to them. Eternal glory to those who lost their lives defending Ukraine.

To Ukrainians: якось буде, прорвемся.